#definitely realizing that i 100% only picked it up because of jesse | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

kairiscorner · 1 year ago

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no thoughts just miguel turning into a cat. like a literal cat bc of sum villain did sumn to him on a mission and we have to babysit him. him as a cat would be so grumpy and would hiss if anyone touched him but ofc miguel o’purra has a soft spot for us ( • ̀ω•́ )✧ he’d be the purrfect cat me thinks plus bonus points bc him as a cat is 100% extra clingy and demands to be perched on your lap or shoulder at all times <3

AWWWWWW ngl this is reminding me of the tropes in cartoons i used to watch as a kid, where like, the only way for a stubborn character to get with the person they secretly like is through being an animal the character doesn't realize that's actually them (this sounds so fucking confusing i'm sorry) but yeah, I WANNA DO THAT FOR THIS HEUHEUHUEHUE

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 – miguel o'purra and you.

miguel o'purra is a very angry kitty, one that loves to hiss, scratch, and bite—though, when you're rubbing that sweet spot on his stomach all slowly and gently... he lives up to his name and quits being grumpy for a bit and just purrs as you rub that spot on him.

miguel o'purra is a bratty kitty, he hates not getting what he wants—despite hearing his own, normal voice in his own head, he hates it when lyla nor anyone else at the spider society can understand his angry purrs of frustration when he's asking for updates on anomalies or for a leg (or paw) up to get something because... he's such a small little kitten now.

miguel o'purra refuses help, he kicked ben reilly in the face when the blonde guy picked him up and cooed to him, and he hissed at jess when she baby talked the cute little thing. he definitely scratched peter b multiple times when the stubborn brunette tried getting the cat to warm up to him, but no, he was a very grumpy kitten that didn't want anyone to do things for him.

miguel o'purra hates everyone at HQ, he can finally be vocal about it through his incessant hissing, scratching, biting, kicking, and... littering on others' desks as revenge for taking your attention away from him while he was still human. it's petty, sure, and he did debate with himself whether or not to do this because it is pretty disgusting—but he can't help but want you to tend to him, your touch is the nicest and softest to him, why can't he be in your arms for the whole day while he's like this? without having to worry what you think of him the next day because he's just a cute, helpless, furious little furball that just so happens to prefer you over everyone else.

miguel o'purra is not appeciative of the fact you kindly named him 'mr. furball', he glares at you every time you call for him like that. he finds it a little degrading, too, because he still has his human consciousness intact; he's just in the body of a cat. though, he does like how your eyes light up and how your smile widens whenever he walks over to you and nuzzles up by your legs whenever you call for him, it warms his little heart, though he isn't sure why.

miguel o'purra knows he should be hatching up a plan to break this stupid spell that has technically incapacitated him in this feline form, but... he can finally have a day of rest since you insist on giving this cute kitty you found the most proper grooming and makeover fit for royalty, royal cats, that was.

miguel o'purra doesn't mind how your hands are all over his furry little body as your brush his hair, trim his long claws, how you boop his little paw pads that make him purr lowly whenever you touch the sensitive pads on his paws—and when you rub in between his ears all gently, just stroking his head all hypnotically and repetitively... he smiles a little, and it warms your heart so, so much.

miguel o'purra despises baths, however—he has such killer instincts whenever you're about to put him in the bath full of water, his archnemesis. he literally spreads all his legs out and clings on to the walls of the bathtub to stop you from putting him in the bath, aggressively hissing in resistance.

miguel o'purra loves being rewarded for such good behavior. he loves being stroked on his back and on his head, on those sweet spots he loves being touched on so, so much. he's relaxed like this, being on your lap while you work and try finding miguel, not knowing he was right here on your lap as 'mr. furball', but you didn't need to know that.

miguel o'purra accidentally brushes his little fuzzy paws over your thighs, tickling you. he gets all surprised and arches his back, jolting up, realizing he touched you by accident. you giggle and ask 'mr. furball' why he's so on edge and compliment his fuzzy little paws, with him purring in a questioning tone if you meant what you said. you reassure him and tell him your lap was basically his second home; he feels like he could just live like this forever, but he resists that notion and treads lightly when it came to you and your irresistibly beautiful lap.

miguel o'purra doesn't want to leave your side; he's always perched on your lap and will hiss at and swing his claws at anyone who dares take you away from him. you tell him you aren't going anywhere, but he doesn't buy it—he wants to go with you and protect you, even as a cat; he has claws for a reason, and he's unafraid to use them now, especially as a cute, fuzzy little clingy furball that loves you dearly.

tags !! @miguelswifey04 @hearts4gabri @hisachuu @wreakingmarveloushavok @fictarian @yuridopted0 @simsrandomstuff @luvstarrstruck @popeheywardssecretgf @meeom @arachnoia @melovetitties @fable-library @ophanimgold @smokeywhalee @capnshtfce

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alicepao13 · 2 months ago

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Hudson and Rex S04E15 - Nightmare on Water St. - Part B

Well, someone had a lot of fun filming these shots.

Not that I don't like the Charah scenes, but the distribution is wrong. Charlie is always with Rex, so Sarah should have gone with Jesse. Or they could have given Rex to Jesse, or Charlie could have gone with Jesse and Rex with Sarah. But I don't know why no one thought that someone might have it in for the coach too.

Here's the thing. When you do a creepy episode, you expect the creepy looking guy to be the killer. So you'll either have to show the audience more creepy guys as red herrings or to cast someone that looks more like an average joe as the killer.

What a great positive influence this man must have been in his son's life.

lol he kinda owed you that. You'd failed to pick up the phone twice when he was in danger and you're practically married to your phone.

Go to the creepy basement, Jesse.

"No Caller ID"??? Dude, how do you not have Jesse's contact logged?

Man, I feel so sorry for this guy. Their mere presence there was deeply unsettling for him, even before they found the drugs.

If you know it's not a good idea to go down the basement, then why go?

So, I wanted to take a screenshot of the closeup of the coach's body and Sam hunched over it but it was so family friendly that I decided not to. I will let Jesse's horror speak in its stead. Also, I'm hoping that Justin Kelly is getting other acting gigs because he's certainly under-utilized on Hudson and Rex.

You can't possibly think that this will make him stop.

That was really stupid.

The knife piercing through the door is classic.

Well, yeah, of course he is. Anyway, Sarah holding a ring is giving me other ideas that have nothing to do with this episode.

Didn't realize they hired Sam Raimi for this episode. How many jumpscares did they put in there?

Now this is a cross between Scream and Scary Movie. Like, I have the urge to laugh but also to run away. (Wasn't John Reardon in one of them Scary Movie sequels? It seems like a memory that I'm trying to forget.)

Rex is not afraid of your creepy mask. Although I've seen a few videos of dogs who cower in front of masks.

In any other show, movie or drama podcast, this decision would have haunted Charlie because of course they'd write about the serial killer fixating on the woman who successfully profiled him.

I'd fixate on her too, sorry. When does Sam get parole?

This 100% means "You're the one I'll be thinking of now that I'm going back to prison."

Charlie: "...I think I made a mistake."

Well, there's nothing that explicitly says, "I'll get out and come find you" but they could definitely have him make a comeback if they wanted. Although, to be fair, his entire thing was that he wanted to find the people that ruined his life. I don't think that includes Sarah. But, with the way she profiled him, Sam could consider her the only person who actually understood him. So, that could also be a solid reason. Yes, I spend a lot of time thinking about criminal motivation.

Time to pay up, Charlie. Or, well, something like that.

Charlie's look as he realizes he doesn't have to pay a dime lol

"But-But-But Joe said..."

Dude, this will cost you so much more than the seminar!

"I'm on the side of the sushi."

Good episode. It was a nice level of creepy without being too much. Or anyway, for those of us who have watched Criminal Minds it was comfortable lol. I don't know about the rest, I'll need someone else's opinion.

Charlie and Sarah were i n c o r r i g i b l e in their flirting, I don't know where they found so much time with a serial killer on the loose. They're multitaskers. Also, in retrospect, I think I should have paid more attention to Joe and Jesse's knowing looks before saying that they pretty much had no idea what was happening under their nose. I'm just more used to other shows having characters very non-subtly point out that two characters should get together and be all up on their business.

#the great hudson and rex rewatch of 2024

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deadbiwrites · 5 years ago

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a video of supergirl grabbing lena luthor's ass starts circulating and it's very embarrassing for sc but extremely funny to their friends

(I am SO sorry. Where do these hide? Why do I never see them? How long has this been here?!

Anyways, have some cute nonsense!)

The day starts like any other, honestly.

Like, sure, Kara’s never thrilled when she wakes up 20 minutes late and has to use superspeed to get through her morning routine and into the office on time, but it happens regularly enough that she’s just sort of used to it by now. Like, the sky is blue, the grass is green, she manages time poorly. Whatever.

But she does get to work on time, with just enough to spare that she can make a brief detour to Nia’s desk for the coffee her protege has already bought for her, thank her profusely (with perhaps minor promising of firstborn children), and slip into the morning meeting just as Snapper, James, and Lena start handing out assignments for the day.

“Well, well, good of you to join us, Ponytail. Let me guess, a family emergency kept you out all night again?”

‘I mean, that Abraxian wasn’t my family, technically, but someone’s family, so…’ “Something like that. Sorry.”

Lena catches her eye and quirks a brow in question, but Kara just shrugs easily and sips her coffee, pulling a silly face at her friend when Snapper’s attention moves away from her. When her eyes uncross, she can tell Lena is fighting not to laugh, eyes sparking with mirth as she bites her lip. Kara takes another sip of coffee, feeling a bit smug that she can get Lena to smile without even having to say anything to her. That’s real talent, right there.

Especially since Lena has to stand up at the front with James, who has been by turns cold, dejected, and surly toward her since their breakup (a big, real, final one) a few weeks prior. Lena had said that the whole thing was a mistake, that she should’ve never gone for it in the first place because she’d been right the first time- they’d had some chemistry, after all, but it certainly wasn’t compatible long-term.

Which… Kara can certainly relate. Like, a lot.

Especially about the whole… James being kind of wounded about it part. That part had really sucked- when he’d done it with Kara, who he’d gone on like, a date with, it’d resulted in him deciding to become a vigilante. Rao only knows what he’ll do when it’s someone he dated on and off for over a year...

“Ponytail!”

Kara jumps, realizing too late that her wandering attention hasn’t gone unnoticed. “Yes, sir?”

Snapper rolls his eyes. “Great, now that you’ve stopped orbiting Saturn, you wanna go get that article started?”

Kara’s eyes widen slightly in a panic as she realizes that she has no idea what he’s talking about. “Uh…” Behind his back, Lena catches her eye and nods subtly. Thank Rao. “Yes. I super do.”

Lena snorts, James sighs deeply, and the meeting is adjourned.

“So what exactly am I supposed to be doing today?” Kara asks Lena as they stroll out of the conference room together.

“Well unfortunately for you, you have to interview a big-time CEO. You have a meeting scheduled with her in three hours.”

“You?” Kara asks hopefully.

“You’re very sweet,” Lena chuckles. “No, Elena Watts. She’s a real estate developer, and she runs a nonprofit organization for homeless youth. It’s one of the articles we’re doing for next month’s spread. Contrary to popular belief, Cat and I weren’t the only women with high-profile jobs in this city. ”

“Oh, that’s pretty cool! Have you met her?”

“Not personally, no, but I have donated to her charity- it’s a very good cause, especially the outreach they do with queer youth.”

Kara elbows Lena gently. “You’re such a softie.”

“Mmm, maybe. But if you tell anyone, you’re fired.”

Kara clutches a hand to her chest, feigning horror. “Why Miss Luthor, what a blatant abuse of power!”

Lena shrugs. “I’m a Luthor, darling, I have to keep up appearances somehow.”

“Ouch,” Kara laughs. “See you at lunch?”

“Only if lunch includes a milkshake- I have a teleconference with both boards today. Unless you feel like joining me?”

“Wow, well as fun as that sounds, I’m gonna go do literally anything else.” Her comms crackle to life, alerting her of a hostage situation downtown, and Kara sighs. So much for a work day. “Alright, well, I’m, um, gonna go… see what I can find on Elena Watts. Maybe over another cup of coffee at Noonan’s.” She widens her eyes a bit, trying her best to convey that she’s going to be on Super-duty for a little while.

Thankfully, Lena picks up on it and grins. “You just want sticky buns.”

“Lena, I always want sticky buns. They’re like, my second favorite thing to eat.”

“Oh? What’s the first?” Lena asks, voice just a bit lower than usual.

Kara opens her mouth and closes it, flushing slightly as she averts her gaze and adjusts the laptop bag on her shoulder. Stuff like that has been happening more and more, and she’s not 100% sure what to do about it. Because on the one hand, it makes her stomach do flips and tie up in knots and makes her brain do this… staticky thing where nothing filters in or out, just a pleasant buzz of how funny and smart Lena is and how much Kara likes hanging out with her and being flirted with (because that’s definitely what’s been happening, even if neither of them is really ready to address it) and just generally looking at Lena.... who is currently biting her lip and grinning up at Kara, and that buzz makes her kinda dumb, which is just really unhelpful. But on the other hand, it’s also kinda awesome and Kara really enjoys it, and-

“Kara?”

She spaced out again. Crap.

“Um. What time are you free for lunch?”

Lena sighs, seeming slightly disappointed that Kara isn’t flirting back at the moment (and thank Rao Lena can’t read minds), but she smiles back easily enough as they step off of the elevator. “I should be done by two.”

Feeling emboldened, Kara turns so she’s walking backwards in front of Lena and grins. “It’s a date,” she says with a grin, ducking forward to press a quick “friendly” kiss high on Lena’s cheek. She whirls and jogs out the double doors, leaving Lena smiling exasperatedly after her.

It is genuinely baffling to Kara that people still commit crimes in National City. It’s not even an ego thing, really, since Kara tries to keep herself humble (even when she manages to wrap up a hostage situation within twenty seconds of arriving on-scene without injuring any of the criminals or damaging the building too badly). Like, yeah, she gets that there’s a certain element of crazies who just sorta gravitate to places with a local hero, the big-bads who have their own suits and geek-toys and abilities. Them, Kara gets. Kinda sorta. But the regular ones, who are armed with like, pistols? Or knives? Just regular man made stuff without even the benefit of magic or kryptonite or something?

Why?

She’s sure that if she asked, Lena would have some sort of statistical thing about large cities and poverty and all sorts of other factors that would end up making Kara feel like a jerk for being uncharitable to the criminal element of her city, but at the moment she’s mostly too annoyed by the fact that she has to spend her weekdays chasing them around instead of chasing stories.

Once all the hostages are freed and the cops secure the scene, Kara departs, flying into the alley behind Noonan’s and changing into her regular clothes before she heads inside to do a bit of research before her meeting with Elena Watts in a few hours (just because she’d used it as a cover doesn’t mean it was a bad idea…). She finds her favorite little two-person booth tucked into a quiet corner, plugs in her laptop, and gets to work, asking the waitress to please keep both the coffee and the sticky buns coming.

She gets a surprising amount done by the time she needs to leave for the interview, having a good foundation for what she wants to write and who Elena Watts is.

Ms. Watts turns out to be a pretty nice lady around Eliza’s age, if a bit busy and distracted by the steady flow of people in and out of her office. She answers all Kara’s questions with aplomb, happy to elaborate on most every point and eager to draw attention to the rising issue of homelessness among children and teens in the US.

“When I was young, my dad lost his job at the auto plant. It was supposed to be a temporary layoff, but the factory never reopened. We ended up losing the house, and we lived so far from our extended family that staying with them wasn’t much of an option. We lived in our SUV for six months, sleeping at shelters every now and again, if we could find one that allowed families to stay together. We showered at the local YMCA. Five people and a dog, living and sleeping in an old station wagon- even now, it sounds ridiculous. Eventually, we got back on our feet, but I never forgot that. It was just six months, but it was- and remains- the scariest, most uncertain time in my entire life, and it shaped me in a lot of ways I didn’t expect. And there are kids and families who do that for years. I just want to help them the way I wish that someone had been able to help us.”

At the end of the interview, Kara thanks her profusely for her time and for sharing her story before hurrying off to CatCo to type up a draft for Snapper (“What’s wrong with you, Ponytail, why is everything you bring me sappy and sentimental?”), which she finishes an outline of just in time to send it off before running to Big Belly and L-Corp for lunch with Lena.

She greets the newest in a series of secretaries (Anna? Amy? Ava? Lena’s really missing Jess, these days, but from what she’s told Kara, Jess is kicking butt in her new role as VP of Operations and will probably take over for the COO when he retires in a few years), and the girl waves her in distractedly.

And that’s when Kara’s day goes from normal to not, because inside the office are two masked men holding a stone-faced Lena at gunpoint on her balcony and demanding… something, probably. Kara’s a bit distracted by the loaded gun aimed at Lena’s head.

“Hey!” she yells, attracting both their attention. They whirl on her and Lena’s eyes widen in alarm, and Kara suddenly realizes three things- 1) she’s in her Kara Danvers clothes, not the supersuit, 2) she can’t speed into the suit now that they’re both looking at her, and 3) she has no plan.

Crap.

“Who the hell are you?!” one of them demands.

Kara… doesn’t have a good or snappy answer for that, and instead does the only thing she can think of- she throws the large milkshakes she’s carrying at them as hard as she can.

Which, in retrospect, is too hard, apparently because while yes, it is both funny and gratifying to see two grown men get absolutely leveled by a tasty dairy treat to the face, the one closest to Lena manages to elbow her in such a way that she falls backwards over the rail with an instinctual scream that makes Kara’s heart fly into her throat. She whips off her glasses, and by the time she’s out the window and speeding toward Lena’s flailing form, the suit is materialized. She gets under Lena, catching her carefully and dropping a bit further before slowing down (because she’s been made aware that when she doesn’t, the people she’s saving may as well be hitting the pavement), finally coasting to a stop about 20 feet from the ground.

Lena’s face is screwed up in a forced sort of focus, her hands clutching tightly at Kara’s shoulders and cape as she holds her breath.

“Are you okay?” Kara asks quietly.

Lena swallows thickly and nods, eyes still firmly closed. “I’m alright. Thank you- I’ll admit, I wasn’t quite sure how to get out of that one.”

“What was that? What did they want?”

Lena cracks an eye open. “Oh. you know, just my quarterly assassination attempt. I think my mother was starting to miss me, so she wanted to reach out.”

Kara snorts. “That really shouldn’t be funny.”

“Maybe not, but here we are.” Lena shifts a bit in Kara’s arms, cheeks a bit flushed from the adrenaline rush, and clears her throat. “Not to be rude, Supergirl, but do you think that perhaps we could continue this conversation… on the ground?”

“Oh. Oh! Yeah, sorry. I forgot we were, uh, flying.”

Lena chuckles as they ascend slowly back up to her office. “You forgot you were flying?”

Kara shrugs with an easy smile. “I guess you have that effect on me.”

Lena huffs a laugh against Kara’s neck, eyes squeezed shut again. They alight on the balcony, finding the two men still unconscious, covered in Kara and Lena’s lunch. Lena sighs as Kara sets her down, pinching the bridge of her nose. “What a mess.”

“Yeah, sorry, I sorta… panicked.”

“I was so looking forward to a milkshake too…” Lena laments playfully.

“Well, then I have good news and bad news,” Kara says. She reaches out and gently wipes a bit of her own chocolate shake from Lena’s cheek with the pad of her thumb, tucking it into her mouth on instinct to get a taste of it. “The good news is, you do, in fact, have some shake on you!”

“Whats the bad news?”

“Also that you have some shake on you.” Kara laughs, gathering the two men in her arms and hefting them a bit so they’re easier to carry. “I’ll get you another one. Be right back.”

She drops the men at the police station with a brief explanation before flying back into the office. Lena hands over her discarded glasses with a wry grin.

“I figured you’d need these before the police arrive.” She’s putting on a brave front, but she’s clearly still more than a bit rattled, if her too-bright eyes and thundering heartbeat are anything to go by. Kara steps closer and opens her arms in invitation, and Lena doesn’t hesitate to step into them. “Thank you,” Lena says fervently, tucking her face into Kara’s shoulder and wrapping her arms tight around Kara’s waist.

“Always,” Kara promises, daring to press a reassuring kiss to Lena’s temple (and getting a bit of Lena’s strawberry shake for her troubles) before wrapping her up even tighter in her arms. “Are you actually okay?”

“I mean, my fear of heights has been reaffirmed,” Lena jokes, “but aside from that, I’m not hurt.”

“Good. I don’t like, love people pointing guns at you. Just so you know.”

“I’m not a fan either, for the record,” Lena drawls, burrowing even closer. “Even though I know you’ll save me, it still puts a damper on my day.”

Kara huffs a laugh. “Same.”

They stay like that for a few minutes, until Lena’s calmed down enough to stop shaking and calls her assistant (Audra, apparently) in, telling her what’d happened and that the police would be arriving shortly to take her and Kara’s statements, and please advise the security team to let them up discreetly. After the cops arrive, it’s a blur of questions, and Kara has to concentrate on telling the story of how she’d panicked and thrown the milkshakes at the men, and one of them had knocked Lena over the balcony (all true), and Kara had yelled for Supergirl, who had knocked the men out on her way to Lena (also technically mostly true. Technically. Mostly.). The police are sure to tell Kara that next time, she shouldn’t throw things at people with guns, and also to tell them both how lucky they are that Supergirl had shown up when she did.

“She’s always there when I need her,” Lena agrees, throwing a sly wink over the officer’s shoulder at Kara.

Kara just shakes her head and smiles. Even almost dying isn’t enough to make Lena not flirt with her. The woman is truly a marvel.

Kara’s comms crackle again, accompanied by Alex’s custom ringtone on her cell, and after assuring the police that she has no issue with giving another statement if they need her to later, hurries over to the DEO (making a quick stop in the back alley to change into her suit).

When Kara arrives, she’s told that J’onn and Alex are waiting for her in the Directors’ offices. She makes her way there, waving to the agents and scientists she knows. But it’s very weird, because every time one of them sees her, they start giggling before quickly hurrying off in the opposite direction. Like, literally everyone is whispering and pointing and giggling, and it’s giving Kara such visceral flashbacks to high school that it’s all she can do to not check her cape for a taped on sign that says ‘Kick me’ or ‘Freak’.

(Kids are mean.)

By the time Kara gets to her destination, she’s fully paranoid, sure that someone’s playing a prank on her, somehow, and that everyone but her is in on the joke. She opens the door with more force than intended and catches it just before the handle puts a hole in the wall, throwing Alex and J’onn a sheepish smile. She closes the door extra gently and leans against it heavily. J’onn and Alex just stare at her, looking thoroughly unimpressed.

“Busy day, Supergirl?” Alex asks, and after half a lifetime of spending time with her, Kara recognizes that she, too, is trying not to laugh.

Kara’s had enough. “Okay, do I have something on my face? Or on the suit? Is someone messing with me?”

J’onn’s brow furrows. “No.”

“Then what’s the deal? Why is the entire DEO like… laughing at me? Did someone accidentally vent the lab fumes out into the main hub again?”

“No.”

“Did someone see me crash into that billboard last week?”

J’onn’s frown deepens. “What?”

“No,” Alex answers.

“Then why is everyone laughing at me?!”

“I mean, if I had to guess, I’d say it’s because of that,” Alex muses, nodding toward the big TV on the wall beside Kara.

She steps back to watch the news coverage of her dealing with the hostage situation this morning and frowns. “What, those guys? That was routine, what’s so funny about tha-”

“No, no, not that. That,” Alex clarifies, cranking up the volume.

“...reports are saying that the CEO of L-Corp, Lena Luthor, experienced an attempt on her life early this afternoon. Sources claim that she fell from a considerable height-”

“Hey, she was pushed,” Kara corrects.

“Shh!”

“...caught by Supergirl, who may have gotten a little… familiar with her.”

And there’s a video (clearly recorded on a cell phone but not the worst quality Kara’s ever seen) of Kara catching Lena and slowing to a stop above the sidewalk, of them talking quietly, of Kara’s hand definitely on Lena’s-

“Oh. Oh no.”

“Oh yes,” Alex drawls, clicking the TV off with relish, a large, evil-big-sister grin spreading across her face. “Congratulations, Supergirl- the world just watched you grope Lena Luthor’s ass.”

“But I’m not- I wasn’t groping, I was catching! My hands weren’t… If it was groping, I’d be all up on her, and I wasn’t!”

“Camera begs to differ. It’s already trending on Twitter in National CIty.”

Kara puts her head in her hands and groans. “Why?! I was trying to save her!”

“You were definitely trying to save part of her,” Alex agrees. “Granted, it’s a very nice part...”

Kara’s head pops up, and she shoots Alex a look that’s between a pout and a glare. “You’re not helping.”

Alex feigns confusion. “Am I supposed to be helping?”

“Alright, enough,” J’onn cuts in before Kara can retort. “We just wanted you to be aware. I don’t think that this is going to be taken for anything more than it is- a humorous moment in the middle of a successful rescue. You shouldn’t worry about the press.”

And truth be told, Kara isn't worried about the press- she’s worried about the fact that she’s going to have to face Lena after this. Lena, who she knows for a fact has google alerts set for herself, Kara Danvers, and Supergirl, a gesture which is normally actually sweet and kind but is right now definitely gonna bite her in the-

“Okay! So, is that all?”

Alex blinks, looks over at J’onn, and shrugs. “I mean, yeah. Try not to make a habit of groping your crush when you’re in the suit.”

“I wasn’t groping her-”

Alex grins. “So you admit you have a crush? Interesting…”

“Alex!”

J’onn’s prediction is mostly right- no one seems to be taking the shots of her grabbi- saving Lena as anything other than a funny blip of a moment in their coverage of it.

He was wrong about the sheer scale. The clip had gone totally viral in a matter of hours, and seemingly every major network in the country has run the clip at least once as a bit of filler-fluff, and almost every major network anchor (including the ones at CatCo, the traitors) has made at least a passing joke about Supergirl being ‘Super-Handsy'.

Which means that Kara is very late getting back to Lena’s office with replacement food. But like, she’s been busy, okay? It’s not like she’s avoiding Lena, or something, because she’s embarrassed- which she isn’t, because she didn’t do anything bad or wrong and-

Anyways, it’s well past sunset by the time Kara gets to Lena’s office door again. She hesitates outside it for just a moment before shouldering the door open and knocking tentatively.

Lena’s attention jerks from whatever she’d been absorbed in to Kara, and a relieved smile blooms across her face. “Hey there.”

Kara finds herself equally relieved to not experience a repeat performance of earlier scary situations. “Hi,” Kara says, unable to resist smiling back. She raises the bags and cup carrier. “I bring grease and milkshakes. Again.”

“Oh thank god, I’m starving,” Lena says, rolling her chair away from her desk and rising into a deep and probably much-needed stretch. Kara very determinedly does not stare at the slight sliver of soft tummy that appears between her blouse and skirt at the motion. “I’ve been staring at this screen for several hours. And Sam called to yell at me- she says hello, by the way- she and Ruby are in town next weekend.”

“Good!” Kara crosses the room to the couch as Lena does, easily spreading out the veritable buffet of fast food she’d brought over the coffee table. “I mean, not good that she yelled at you, or that you’re still at work, Miss Luthor,” she says pointedly, receiving only an unapologetic shrug in response. “But good that, um-”

“I get it,” Lena chuckles, resting a hand lightly on Kara’s knee and boy, if that doesn’t make Kara’s brain go fuzzy and dumb again… “Thank you, for checking in.”

“Of course I was gonna check on you, Lena,” Kara huffs. “Plus, I know you probably didn’t get lunch, so…”

Lena hums around a mouthful of burger, chewing until she can politely speak again. “Well it’s delicious. Did you make it yourself?” she teases with a sly grin.

“Oh, yeah, totally. Slaved away over a hot stove for this- I just wrapped it in Big Belly wrappers so you wouldn’t feel bad about it.”

“Very clever.” Lena pops the lid off of her milkshake and drags a fry through it (an advanced culinary delicacy Kara had horrified her with initially but had eventually become a bit of a guilty pleasure). “Although I have to say, traditionally you’d have to buy me dinner before you grabbed my ass.”

Kara chokes on a pickle. “Oh no,” she groans, dropping the burger onto the wrapper on the table and dropping her very red face into her hands as Lena laughs beside her. She peers out from between her fingers. “I am so sorry, I was just worried about you hitting the pavement and like, catching you in the least jarring way and I wasn’t paying attention to where my hands were and I didn’t even notice until I got back to the DEO and-”

“Well I have so say, I feel a bit offended that you didn’t even realize you were copping a feel...” When the only response is another groan and a deep flush spreading from Kara’s neck to the tips of her ears, Lena relents. “Kara, Kara, it’s fine!” she laughs, pulling Kara’s hands away from her face and giving them a grounding squeeze. “Nia’s been sending me memes about it all day, which has improved my mood significantly. On the grand scale of fallout from assassination attempts, this one was at least funny.”

“I know that’s supposed to be comforting, but all it makes me wanna do is wrap you in bubble wrap forever,” Kara informs her.

“Pass on that. But seriously, don’t worry about it- I know it wasn’t on purpose- unfortunately for me, you’re too noble to do something like that,” Lena laments playfully.

And whether it’s the knowledge that Lena is not, in fact, upset, the overall weirdness that has been this day, or this delicious burger fueling it, Kara feels a bit emboldened. “Hey Lena…”

“Yes?”

“What if I wanted to grab your butt? Just, y’know, as a hypothetical. For future reference.”

Lena quirks a brow at her, fighting a smile as she contemplates this. “Hmm. Strictly hypothetically?”

Kara scoots a bit closer on the couch. “Sure.”

“Well, you’ve already bought me dinner…”

“And lunch, technically. Even if I gave it to the bad guys.”

“True. Plus you saved my life, so that gets you some points, probably.”

Kara pauses in her sly scooching. “Oh, hey, wait, no, that’s not-”

“Kidding, Kara. I know you’d never use that to your advantage. I, however, have determined that strong moral fibre and nobility do, in fact, earn you more points, which is my choice on the matter and you get absolutely no say in it.”

“Oh. Um, alright, I think.”

Lena stares off into the middle distance, tapping her forefinger thoughtfully against her chin. Finally she shrugs. “Yes, I think you’re fulfilled the prerequisites for a bit of grab-ass today.”

Kara snorts, Lena laughs, and soon enough Kara takes her up on the offer.

“Hey Kara, remember that time you grabbed Lena’s ass and it made international news?” Nia asks around a mouthful of mushu pork.

“You mean last week? Yes, I remember,” Kara drawls. Beside her/halfway sitting on her lap, Lena snorts.

“That was the best.”

Alex glares. “Um, excuse you, no. No it was not. I had to sift through so much thirsting over my sister on like, every social media platform. It was the worst day of my life.”

Brainy’s brow furrows. “Surely that cannot be correct, Alex. Statistically speaking-”

Alex holds up a hand, cutting him off. “Trauma can’t be measured, Brainy.”

Kelly chuckles and presses a consoling kiss to Alex’s cheek, and it makes the tough agent melt into a doe-eyed puddle of mush that Kara snorts. And she says they’re gross... Kara sneaks a glance at Lena from the corner of her eye, and she catches Lena looking at her. She leans close and jostles her gently as she drops her head onto Lena’ shoulder. “We’re never gonna live that down, are we?”

“Probably not.”

“We have the worst friends.” When this elicits nothing but a chuckle, Kara tips her head back to see Lena still looking at her, a soft smile playing at her mouth and shining in her eyes. And like, this whole thing they’re doing is new, with the kissing and the actual dates and the... everything else. But the thing where Kara catches Lena looking at her and she doesn’t look away? That freakin’ knocks her out, every single time. “Hey,” she manages.

Lena grins down at her. “Hi.”

So yeah. Maybe the initial circumstances weren’t ideal, and she doesn’t love the mockery that’s been heaped upon her by all of her friends and loved ones (including Winn, who’d sent a missive from the future that literally just said ‘LOL’). But the fact is, Kara muses as she surges up just enough to kiss the corner of Lena’s mouth, that she doesn’t regret a thing.

#supercorp #prompts!#asks open #ask response #supergirl fanfic #kara x lena #humor #idiots #international news about idiots #kara danvers #lena luthor #i'm also deeply sorry that this is so long on mobile #i swear there's a read more that's supposed to be there #but alas

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americasass91 · 4 years ago

Text

Last Kiss

Hello lovelies!! I’m back with my second submission to @drabblewithfrannybarnes awesome Autumn challenge! This one once again stars Ransom! It’s not as smutty as I usually do(I know, what’s wrong with me?). There’s also a quote from Grey’s Anatomy in here. Every time I hear it, I get chills. Also there are flashbacks and those will be in italics. Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoy!!

Verbal Prompts:

“I love you, Jerkface.”

“It’s all just a bunch of Hocus Pocus

Location/Activity Prompts:

Fall Festival

Hayride

Walking through a park with leaves

Words:4.9k

Rating: Explicit(Maybe Mature?)

Warnings: Angst, Ransom being an asshole, some smut, language

September 22nd, 2019. Today was the first official day of Fall. It used to be your favorite time of the year. Nothing made you happier than the colder weather, the leaves changing colors, and of course Halloween.

That was all tainted now by memories of him.

It was all your fault really. Your friends told you not to get involved with him. Told you it would end in nothing but heartbreak. You really wished you would’ve listened to them. It would have definitely saved you a lot of heartache.

You can’t believe you wasted 3 years of your life with him. 3 years you would never get back. The only good thing about any of it is the lessons you learned from the failed relationship.

They say it takes 2 people to make a relationship fail. You don’t think that’s the case this time. You were totally and 100% devoted to him and making it work. You thought he was as well. You thought wrong.

September 3rd, 2015

You really hated going to the clubs. Why go out when you could be on your couch huddled under a plethora of blankets and binge watching your newest obsession, Schitt’s Creek?

But, unfortunately you had promised your friends you would stop being a hermit and rejoin society for the evening.

So you put on some black leggings, a long burgundy sweater, and some black ankle boots and head to your friends. You decided to walk since it was only a couple of blocks from your apartment.

The smile couldn’t leave your face if you wanted it to on your little walk. The air was chilly, Fall was definitely almost here. Boston was the most beautiful place during Fall. You couldn’t wait for the hayrides, getting lost in a corn maze, and delicious hot apple cider.

You finally reach the club and head inside to find your friends. It takes you no time at all to spot them at a table near the back. You head to the bar to order a drink before heading to your girls.

It’s crowded tonight so you find the only open spot and squeeze your way through and attempt to flag down the busy bartender.

After a few minutes of failed attempts you decide to sit on the stool and patiently wait until he comes over to you.

“Having trouble getting his attention, sweetheart?”

You turn your head to the left and you momentarily forget how to speak. This man attempting to start a conversation with you is beautiful. You’d say handsome but that’s not nearly good enough. He has amazing blue eyes that you feel yourself getting lost in. He chuckles when he realizes the effect he has on you. It shakes you out of your trance.

“Sorry, my brain quit working there for a minute. Yes, I can’t seem to get his attention.”

He smiles and takes a sip of what you assume is whiskey in his glass. He gives you a quick wink before turning his attention to the bartender. “Hey, Earl! This gorgeous lady here would like a drink.”

You blush furiously. He just called you gorgeous. When he looks like the walking version of Adonis.

Earl comes right over. “Sorry dear. Super busy tonight. What can I get for you?”

Still being in a Fall mood you decide on an Angry Orchard.

He nods and goes to get it for you.

“I never would have pegged you as a hard cider girl.” The beautiful mystery man says as he not-so-discreetly checks you out.

“I guess I’m full of surprises. Thanks though for getting his attention. Are you guys friends? He came over here right away.”

“Nah, I just spend a lot of money here so he never makes me wait. I guess you could say I’m at the top of his priority list.” He gives you a heart stopping smile when Earl comes back over and sets your Cider in front of you.

“That’ll be 4.50 hun.”

As you’re reaching for your wallet, the mysterious man speaks up again. “Put it on my tab Earl. In fact, put whatever else she drinks tonight on my tab, too.”

Earl nods and goes to tend to one of the many other patrons. You look wide eyed over at the stranger. “Thank you but I can’t let you do that. You don’t even know me.”

“Well let’s remedy that shall we? I’m Ransom.” He holds out his hand to you.

You gladly shake it. “Y/N. What are these drinks going to cost me, Ransom?”

He releases your hand as he smirks at you. “Well gorgeous, what will it get me?”

You put your finger to your chin and ponder for a moment. “Hmmm. Well I guess you could take me out on a date.”

He grins even wider. “Done. How about next Friday night? Say 7? We could meet here?”

“Perfect. I’ll see you then, handsome-I mean, Ransom.” You wink as you grab your drink and head over to your friends.

“Geez took you long enough!” Jessica exclaims as you sit beside her.

“Sorry! I was in the middle of staring at the hottest man I’ve ever seen. And I must have charmed him because I have a date next Friday!”

Your 3 friends look towards the bar. “Okay, which lucky guy is it babe?” Rachel wants to know as she looks back at you.

“That one, in the blue sweater. His name is Ransom.” You point discreetly towards him.

Jessica looks at you with wide eyes. “No, Y/N! You can’t go out with him! He’s an asshole! Like I’m talking major asshole. He changes girlfriends like he changes underwear! Go cancel it.”

“Yeah, I’ve heard nothing but horrible things, Y/N. Save yourself the heartbreak and go end it now.” Rachel agrees with Jessica.

You can’t believe them. The first date you’ve had in god knows how long and they are both trying to shut you down. You turn towards Sophie, who has remained unusually quiet. “Well what about you, Soph? What’s your opinion?”

She glances over at him. “Look, I’ve also heard he’s an asshole but I also heard he’s phenomenal in bed so what’s wrong with her getting some?” She then directs her gaze at Jess and Rachel.

“Nothing is wrong with that at all! We just know how she gets. She can’t just sleep with him and then be done. That’s not her. She’ll catch feelings. Like always.”

You glare over at Jessica. “First of all stop talking about me like I’m not even here! And yes I know I’ve managed to catch feelings in the past but for Christ’s sake it’s just a date! It’s not like I accepted a marriage proposal. Who said I’d even want to see him again after Friday?”

You regret more than anything not canceling that date.

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October 27th, 2015

By now you were on your 10th date with Ransom. You had suggested a horror movie marathon at your place which he graciously accepted. You were still trying to find the asshole part of him. He’s been nothing but amazing to you so far.

You answer the door as soon as you hear him knocking. He greets you with a huge smile and a bag of snacks. “Hi, gorgeous.” He drops the bag and pulls you in for a searing kiss. This is as far as you two had gone and you were hoping to change that tonight.

You smile as you break from the kiss. “What movie do you want to start with first?”

He picks up the bag and hands it to you as he heads into the living room. “Why not start with a classic? Halloween.” He picks it up and heads to put it in the DVD player.

“Perfect! I’ll go get the drinks and snacks.”

After grabbing a couple of beers and some popcorn you head back in to find Ransom all comfy on your couch. He smiles and opens his arms for you. You happily oblige and get settled in them before pressing play.

You make it til almost the end before the kissing starts. Which leads to you straddling him. Which then leads to grinding down on his growing erection.

He groans and pulls out of the kiss. “Should we take this to your bedroom, gorgeous?”

You nod enthusiastically and lead him to it.

Well Sophie was definitely right about one thing, he was phenomenal in bed.

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November 15th, 2015

You’ve officially been dating Ransom for about 2 months now. And you couldn’t be happier.

You were currently in the throes of passion and tangled up in the sheets with Ransom buried deep inside of you.

“Come on, gorgeous. Move those hips faster. You’re the one that wanted to be on top.” He smacks your ass and grabs onto your hips.

You place your hands on his chest and move as fast as your body will allow. “I’m going as fast as I can, Ran. You could help you know.”

He smirks as he sits up and starts meeting your thrusts. He grabs onto your hips and starts basically moving them for you. All you can do is wrap your arms around his neck and hang on for the ride. You know you’re about to fall over the edge.

“God damn, gorgeous. I can feel you squeezing me tight. Come on, come for me. Make a mess all over this big cock.” He moves one hand and starts rubbing your clit in hard circles. That’s all you needed. You come with a scream of his name. Your release triggers his. He whispers your name as he spills inside of you. He thrusts into you a few more times before he stills and pulls you in for a hug.

After a few minutes both of your breathing comes back to normal. He pulls back a little and tucks some hair behind your ear. He cups your face and runs his thumb over your cheek. He pulls you in for a breathtaking kiss. So different from the heated ones you were sharing not even 2 minutes ago. He pulls away and looks at you with what you can only describe as love in his eyes.

“I love you, Y/N. I know it’s only been 2 months but, I do.”

A smile breaks out across your face. “Thank god you said it. I’ve been wanting to say it for weeks now!”

He gets the biggest smile on his face. “You have not! You’re just saying that because I was brave enough to say it first you chicken!” He says teasingly as he starts peppering kisses over your neck, causing you to giggle.

You gasp, pretending to be offended. “Chicken? Excuse you, I am no chicken. I just didn’t want to scare you away!”

He starts poking right under your ribs, knowing how ticklish you are. “You couldn’t scare me away even if you tried, chicken.”

You try to pull out of his grasp but he holds you even tighter. He pulls you back in for another toe curling kiss.

You pull enough away so that you can tell him, “I love you, Jerkface.”

He throws his head back in laughter. “I love you, too, gorgeous girl.”

September 1st, 2016

You were wrapped up in Ransom’s arms and listening to the sound of the rain hitting the windows. You both decided today was a great day to stay in bed and do nothing. You had recently moved in with Ransom and so far things had been amazing. Sure you had the occasional spat but the make-up sex was always fantastic. Sometimes you think he starts them on purpose.

You were almost asleep when you heard Ransom say something. You gaze sleepily up at him. “I’m sorry Ran, I didn’t hear you. What was that?”

He continues running his hand through your hair as he smiles down at you. “I asked if you wanted to go to the Fall Festival when it’s up and running? I know it’s your favorite thing.”

You sit up a little and look down at him. “Ransom, you hate the Fall Festival. You wouldn’t go with me last year.”

“Yeah, well I want to take you this year. I even promise to enjoy myself. Please?”

Well how could you say no to that?

“Okay, fine. You’ve pulled my leg.”

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October 21st, 2016

As soon as Ransom pulled into the festival you started squealing with excitement. He couldn’t help but laugh at your eagerness, almost feeling it himself. Nervous, but eager nonetheless.

You both get out of the car and head towards the gate. “What do you want to do first, Ransom?”

He pretends to ponder it for a moment. “How about we get you some cider and then go for a hayride?”

You beam up at him. “Perfect!”

You can’t help but notice as you’re in line for the hayride how weird Ransom is acting.

“You okay, babe? You’ve been acting off all day.”

He looks down at you. “Uh, yeah. Fine. Just a lot on my mind. Nothing for you to worry about.”

You furrow your brows. “Are you sure? You know you can talk to me about anything.”

Before he has a chance to reply, you’re being called for the next hayride.

You’re relaxing against Ransom and enjoying the beautiful view when he clears his throat. You give him a questioning look.

“Y/N. I know we haven’t been together terribly long and have only been living together for a few months but”...he reaches into his brown coat pocket and pulls out a small box. You gasp and put your hand over your mouth... “You have really changed my life for the better. You make me so happy and I just want to do the same for you. So with that being said”...He opens the box and reveals a beautiful diamond ring...“Will you marry me?”

You can’t even speak. You have tears pouring down your face. You are beyond happy. You furiously nod your head and throw your arms around his neck. He reciprocates the hug and wraps his arms around you. You hear clapping coming from the other people on the hayride.

He pulls away from you and grabs your left hand. He places the diamond on your finger. “Thank you gorgeous girl.”

“Thank you for what?”

“Making me the happiest I think I’ve ever been.”

“Is this why you wanted to bring me to the festival?”

He looks away sheepishly. “Well, yeah. What better way to propose to a girl who loves Fall than on a hayride?”

You smile and give him a kiss. “You know we’re having a Fall wedding right?”

He chuckles. “I wouldn’t expect anything different. But can we be engaged for a while? Just enjoy it before the headache of wedding planning takes over?”

“Fine with me, handsome.”

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September 15th, 2018

With the wedding only a little over a month away, you were super busy. Not only did you have work but now you had to plan a wedding too.

Ransom didn’t help with it. He said he wanted you to do what you wanted and he’d be happy.

Well easier said than done. Of course your girls helped you out. After they got over the initial shock of Ransom proposing, they were on board for a Fall wedding and you couldn’t have gotten the planning done without them.

The stress of the wedding has really been taking its toll on you and Ransom. You guys have been fighting a lot more recently. You’ve actually taken your ring off a few times and threw it at him, claiming you could never marry a child like him. Of course that always blew over in a few hours and he would slide the ring right back on as he fucked you against the nearest surface.

You guys haven’t had much time together lately what with you working and wedding planning. You were in some desperate need of Ransom.

You decided to leave work at noon today to surprise him.

On your way home you stopped by his favorite sandwich shop to pick up lunch and even stopped by a bakery for some cookies. Pumpkin chocolate chip. His favorite.

You smile when you see his Beemer in the driveway. You couldn’t wait to see him. And let’s be real, fuck him.

Your smile falters however as you’re unlocking the door. You hear some odd noises coming from the kitchen.

You turn the corner and stop dead in your tracks. You drop everything in your hands to the floor. There was your fiancé, with some girl bent over the kitchen counter, fucking into her without abandon.

He looks over at the noise and notices the food spilled all over the floor. He moves his gaze up your body and reaches your tear-filled eyes. He holds out his finger to you, asking you to hold on a minute.

Your jaw drops. Not only is he fucking some bitch against YOUR kitchen counter, he has the audacity to tell you to wait?

He turns his attention back to the whore in front of him and picks up his pace a little. You can’t stand there any longer. You head upstairs to your shared bedroom and start looking for your suitcase. You find it buried in the closet and throw it opened onto the bed. You start throwing clothes into it, not even bothering to fold anything. You are trying your hardest not to let the tears fall. You couldn’t let him see you cry.

A few minutes later you hear him come into the room. “Y/N, what do you think you’re doing?”

You stop rummaging through your underwear drawer and turn towards him. He’s standing at the doorway looking shocked that you’re packing. “Excuse me, shouldn’t I have asked you that question when I walked in and found you fucking some random girl in our kitchen?”

He rolls his eyes as he walks in the room and starts taking your clothes out of the suitcase. “Would you calm down? It’s not like you’ve been willing lately. Had to find somebody else to take care of my needs.”

He was saying this like it was no big deal. You couldn’t believe it. Sure you’d been stressed and tired lately and had turned down a couple advances from him. But you had sex only 2 weeks ago so it hasn’t even been that long. You started yelling. “It’s been 2 weeks Ransom! Not 2 years! I’m sorry I’ve been busy working and planning our wedding alone!”

He once again rolls his eyes as he crosses his arms. You start throwing your clothes back in the suitcase. “You’re not leaving. It’s your fault I had to go find some slut to get off. You’ve been turning me down and acting like a real bitch lately. What did you expect me to do?”

You close your suitcase and zip it up. You look at him, the tears trying desperately to fall down your face. “I expected you to be faithful to me no matter what. But I guess that was asking too much.”

You brush past him and head down the stairs. You can hear him stomping behind you. “So that’s it? You find me fucking someone else and you’re done? What about all the others, huh?”

You stop dead in the hallway and turn around. “How many others have there been Ransom? Have you been faithful to me at all?”

He comes over and puts his hands on your shoulders. “I don’t think it really matters how many others. Haven’t I been nothing but good to you? What’s it matter if I fuck someone else from time to time?”

You shrug out of his grasp. “You just don’t get it do you? Am I not enough for you? Before this wedding planning we were having sex everyday! What more could you want?”

He puts his hands on his hips. “No, sometimes you’re not enough Y/N. Sometimes I want something different. But that doesn’t mean I don’t still love you.” That did it. The tears started falling. You weren’t enough, apparently you’ve never been enough.

“I deserve someone who thinks I am enough, Ransom. You were always more than enough for me. I guess I was asking too much for the same in return. Now you can go fuck anyone you want. Don’t let me stand in your way.”

You turn to leave and feel him grab your arm. He makes you drop your suitcase and spins you around. He wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you in for a kiss. The tears are really falling now. You realize this will be the last time you kiss Ransom Drysdale so you indulge yourself a little and kiss him back. You wrap your arms around his neck and thread your fingers through his hair. He tries to push you back against the wall, that’s when you come back to reality.

You pull away from him and step back. “No, Ransom. You can’t just kiss me and make this better. Nothing is going to make this better. I’m done.”

“Then why the fuck did you kiss me back?”

You pick up your suitcase off the floor. “I guess I just wanted a last kiss from you.”

You turn to leave when he yells at you. “You could at least have the decency to give me back the fucking ring I spent 50 grand on!”

That struck a nerve. You drop your suitcase by the door. “You want it back? Fine!”

You head into the kitchen and remove the ring from your finger. You take a moment to look at it one more time. It really was beautiful.

You hear Ransom come into the kitchen. “Y/N, what are you doing? Give it to me!”

You chuck the ring down the sink drain and flip the switch for the disposal. You turn around to leave and see Ransom standing there with his mouth hanging open. “You fucking bitch! I was going to return that to get my money back!”

You don’t even respond. You just head towards the door and grab your suitcase and don’t look back.

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January 20th, 2019

Your friends allowed you to cry over Ransom for only a few months before they came to your apartment and did an intervention. You had only been leaving for work and groceries. Listening to Taylor Swift’s song, Last Kiss, on repeat.

You were thankful for them. Not once did any of your friends say I told you so. But they did all threaten to castrate him.

They also told you that the best way to get over someone was to get under someone else. So you did, a few times.

You decided that tonight was another great night to take someone home. You were hoping it would be this guy at the bar you've been staring at for the past hour.

You decide to just go for it. You ask your friends if you look okay before you start your way towards him. Unfortunately you were stopped about halfway there. By none other than Ransom.

“Well, look who we have here. Y/N, nice to see you.”

You knew this moment would come eventually. You’d been practicing what you were going to say to him. “Hugh, wish I could say the same.”

“Hugh? Ouch. I remember a time when you were moaning Ransom, sweetheart.”

“Yeah well you did a good job to make sure that wouldn’t happen again.”

“Who says it couldn’t? I wouldn’t mind taking you home tonight.” He runs a finger down your arm.

“Ugh, pass.” You start to walk past him. But of course he wasn’t done running his mouth.

“Oh, so you can whore around town and fuck random strangers but you won’t go to bed with me?”

You whip around and glare at him. “What did you just say to me?”

He crosses his arms over his chest and smirks at you. “Yeah, I heard you’ve been sleeping around. Turning into a little whore. I’m proud.”

You walk up and slap him hard across the face. Everyone in the bar has stopped to stare at the two of you. “You don’t get to call me a whore. I’m sorry that I thought you were going to be the person I spent the rest of my life with. You were it for me, Hugh. But you had to go and fuck someone else. So yes, I slept with a few people to try and forget you. I make no apologies for how I chose to repair what you broke. If anything, you’re the whore.”

He stands there, mouth agape, with his hand over his cheek where you had slapped him.

You don’t even give him time to say anything. You head back over to your friends. They all high five you and tell you how amazing you had been.

Ransom feels all eyes on him and decides it’s probably best if he leaves.

🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁 September 22nd, 2019(Current day)

Since Ransom ruined Fall for you last year, you decided to enjoy every second of it this year. Your goal for the day was to take a nice long walk in the park and then go to dinner with your girls tonight.

You get dressed in a pair of black leggings and a grey sweatshirt that says ‘It’s just a bunch of Hocus Pocus’ from your favorite movie ever.

You put on your tennis shoes and grab your keys and a 5 from your wallet and head out.

You moved to New York a few months ago for a new job. You love it here. And so far Fall is just as beautiful here as it was in Boston. The only downside was you missed your friends. That’s why you were so excited for dinner tonight. They were coming in just to see you. Okay and to shop.

You gasp as you enter the park. The leaves are just beautiful. Orange, yellow, and red as far as the eye can see. You can’t help but smile. You just know this Fall will be better than last year was. You just have a feeling.

You spot a cart selling hot apple cider. You remove the 5 from the pocket in your leggings and stand in line. You thank the man who hands it to you and tell him to keep the change. Nothing is going to ruin your mood today.

You start leisurely strolling down a random path and just enjoy the crisp autumn air. There’s a chill to it today and you absolutely love it. You take a sip of your cider. It’s perfect.

You look to your left and see children laughing and jumping into piles of leaves. That was your favorite activity when you were a kid. You smile and go to take another sip of your cider. But before it reaches your mouth, it’s knocked from your grasp. Something has hit you from behind. You start to fall forward and reach your hands out to brace yourself. But then you feel a pair of hands grab your waist.

You hear a deep voice behind you. “Oh my god! Are you okay? I’m so sorry! I was trying to change a song on this stupid IPod and didn’t see you!.”

You turn around and get ready to give whoever ran into you a piece of your mind. But you’re stopped cold. There's a pair of beautiful blue eyes looking back at you. You quickly shake your head and move your gaze over his face. He looked almost familiar. Almost like Ransom. But more handsome if that was possible. He had the same blue eyes but instead of brown he had a gorgeous head of blonde hair.

Once you realize he’s still holding onto you and you’re staring at him like a creeper, you take a step back and clear your throat. “Oh, it’s okay. No blood, no foul.”

He smiles at you as he gives you a once over. “You sure? I didn’t injure you did I?”

You return his smile. “Not at all.” You hold your hand out. “I’m Y/N. Nice to meet you.”

He shakes your hand. “Steve, nice to meet you too.” His gaze lowers to your shirt. “You like Hocus Pocus, too?”

You reluctantly release his hand. “Like it? It’s only my favorite movie.”

“One of mine too! Autumn is actually my favorite time of the year.”

You smile widely. “Me too! It’s the best!”

His gaze then falls to the ground behind you. “Oh, did I make you spill your cider? Please let me buy you another one. I know how important hot cider can be on a chilly day.” He holds out his arm for you to take.

You loop your arm through his. “Are you sure? You really don’t have to.”

He starts walking in the direction of the cider cart. “Of course I do. Besides it gives me an excuse to keep talking to the beautiful girl I almost ran over.”

You look down and blush. You knew this Fall was going to be better. You just felt it.

Every Cevans character tag list: @stargazingfangirl18

#ransom drysdale #ransom thrombey smut #Chris Evans #fall #sweaterbaeschallenge #steve rogers #captain america #Cici91 writes

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itsclydebitches · 3 years ago

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Hello again! Im the tinfoil hat anon with the long ass asks and I finally had the time to read your response. Thank you, it makes my day reading your answers. I honestly just enjoyed them over a cup of coffee like a good book.

Now, the gun pointing scene I mentioned was in fact the one from the droid fight facility like the other anon suggested. But I really liked that you covered the boat scene too, I haven’t thought of it much myself and now I definitely have!

I also would like to mention I love your “candy bar” choice analogy and I 100% agree Hunter’s “invitation” to join back wasn’t welcoming in the slightest. It is very likely just an obligation as you said. Sort of “you gave us a chance, we owe you a chance too”.

And the problem with it is now I am struggling to figure out how the batch members might change their attitude toward Crosshair going forward, especially Hunter. As of right now Crosshair’s best relationship is not with his brothers but with Omega(as surprising as this is). And I think he does realize now she cared about him the most out of all of them during the short time they interacted(both 1st and last episodes). Even between themselves(not counting Omega) I find most of the bad batch members to be cold and distant to each other. They feel less like a family than Rebels for example. And they aren’t even a “found family”(a trope everyone loves) but an actual one! And I get that they’re soldiers and supposed to be tough, I don’t expect them to share all “the feels”. I just can’t put my finger on it but something feels off. I agree with your previous post, the show doesn’t do a very good job showing or even telling they love each other.

Will Hunter and co only start caring about their brother again only after he leaves the empire?(assuming he does at some point). What about Disney’s prevailing theme and message that “family always love and care for each other no matter what”? I guess it’s “family always love and care for each other but only if you’re good guys making right choices”. There is no room for mistakes or wrong decisions. In the last episode everyone form the batch seemed to have given up on Crosshair(besides Omega). For now their attitude seems to be just “you’re not our enemy” and that’s that.

I realize Crosshair is a “bad guy” and consciously made his choice(and we know it’s the wrong one) but to me it felt like he thought he didn’t even had a choice or rather became so lost and confused he actually thought he chose the empire as “the lesser evil”(as in the less shitty choice out of all the other bad ones). We as audience have the benefit to know exactly how atrocious the empire really is but maybe Crosshair still doesn’t realize that.

So what exactly must Crosshair do to get back “in their good graces” as you say? Start saving “the good guys”? Save the bad batch multiple times? There is a popular opinion on how Crosshair can redeem himself. That he eventually heroically sacrifices himself to save them. I personally REALLY hope it’s NOT what’s going to happen but I heard so many people speculating his story is set up to be redemption=death. I know you mentioned you don’t want “Vader style redemption” either. Personally I think it would be a waste of a character who has a lot of potential. And I just think that the batch kind of don’t really deserve his sacrifice(maybe save for Omega) after how they never tried to save him themselves and how they treated him overall. Maybe he will risk his life to save Omega at some point and that will “prove” to Hunter he cares? Although he has already shown he cares by saving her(even if in Crosshair’s own words it’s just so they’re “even”). And the thing is, he doesn’t need to prove that he loves them, he already did that in episode 15 and made it clear he does care. He actually went to extreme by shooting his squad to prove his loyalty. What were the moments the batch demonstrated they care about him? Hunter saying “you never were our enemy” and taking his unconscious body to safety? To me Hunter “not leaving him behind” during bombardment felt more like guilt about the last time it happened and an obligation to Crosshair for helping them with droids, rather than them showing care. And I kinda of think if that was any random civilian(or anyone other than an enemy or a threat) they would carry them out too just because that’s what good guys do and not because it’s their brother. You also mentioned that minutes later Hunter snaps at him with “if you want to stay here and die, that’s your choice” which I agree can be interpreted in different ways. And I think it’s one more point to it being an obligation that in Hunter’s eyes is fulfilled now. He corrected his mistake of leaving a brother behind and saved him this time, now his guilt won’t burden him any longer.

Anyway, I can’t wait for season 2 and I appreciate you and all the anons sharing the tinfoil hat, interacting and speculating together. Those discussions have been a lot of fun!

TLDR: How do your think the relationship between the brothers will mend or evolve in the next season? Do you think S2 will improve in portraying the batch more as a family rather than a group of mercs doing missions together? What are your thoughts on the popular idea of Crosshair’s redemption by ultimate sacrifice? As in, how likely do you think this scenario is?

Anon, that is just wonderfully hilarious to me. Ah yes, the sunrise, a good cup o' joe, and the overly long character analysis of a snarky, fictional sniper. Exactly what everyone needs in the morning! 😆

You know, TBB is far from the first show I've watched where there's an obvious, emotional conclusion the creator wants the audience to come to—the squad all love each other Very Much—yet that conclusion isn't always well supported by the text. It creates this horribly awkward situation where you're going, "Yes, I'm fully aware of what the show wanted to do, but this reading, arguably, did not end up in the story itself. So what are we talking about here? The intention, or the execution?" It's like Schrödinger's Bad Batch where the group is simultaneously Very Loving and Very Distant depending on how much meta-aspects are influencing your reading: those authorial intentions, understanding of how found family tropes should work, fluff focused fics/fan art that color our understanding of the characters, etc. And, of course, whether someone saw TCW before they watched TBB. I personally wouldn't go quite so far as to say they're "cold" towards one another—with Crosshair as an exception now—but there wasn't the level of bonding among the squad that I expected of a show called The Bad Batch. Especially compared to their arc in TCW. The other night I re-watched the season seven premiere and was struck not just by how much more the squad interacted with each other back then, but how those interactions added depth to their characters too. For example, Crosshair is the mean one, right? He's the one picking fights with the Regs? Well yeah... but it's also Wrecker. While they're trying to decide what to do with Cody injured, Jesse calls out Crosshair on his attitude—"You can't talk to Captain Rex like that!"—and Wrecker's immediate response is, "Says who?" and he hefts Jesse into the air. And then he just holds him there, clearly using his superior strength to do as he pleases, until Hunter (sounding pretty angry) tells him to put Jesse down. If Wrecker had put him into a more classically understood bullying position, like pinning him to the ground, it would probably read as less funny—less "Haha strong clone lifts Jesse up in the air!" and more "Oh shit, strong clone can do whatever the hell he wants to the Regs and few are able to stop him." It's such a quick moment, but it tells us a ton about Wrecker. That he's going to stick up for his brothers, no matter the context (Crosshair deserves to be called out). That he will gleefully assist Crosshair in bothering the Regs (something that is reinforced when he later throws the trays in the mess hall, after Hunter has already deescalated the situation). That he's likely been hurt by awful treatment from the Regs too. That he'll only listen to Hunter when it comes to backing off. Little of this work—that interplay among the squad that shows us new sides to them other than basic things like "Wrecker is the nice, happy brother"—exists in TBB.

Or, at least, little exists after Omega becomes an official member of the squad.

Because, as said previously, she becomes the focus. I don't mean that as a total criticism. As established, I love Omega. But if we're talking about why the squad can feel so distant from each other, I think she's the root cause, simply because the story became all about her relationships with the Batch, rather than the Batch's relationships with each other. Having dived headfirst into reading and writing fic, it occurred to me just how many of the bonding moments we love, the sort of stuff we'll see repeated in fics because we understand that this is where the story's emotional center is, are given to Omega in canon:

Someone is hurt and in need of comfort. Omega's emotional state is the focus + moments like her being worried over Hunter getting shot.

Someone needs to learn a new skill. Echo teaches Omega how to use her bow.

Someone reveals a skill they never knew they had before. Omega is a strategic genius and plays her last game with Hunter.

Someone is in serious danger and in need of rescue. Omega rescues the group from the slavers + is the most vocal about rescuing Hunter. (Which, again, is a pretty sharp contrast to the whole Crosshair situation.) Omega, in turn, needs rescuing from things like the decommission conveyor belt.

Similarly, someone is kidnapped and in need of rescue. Omega is kidnapped twice by bounty hunters and the Batch goes after her.

Someone saves another's life. Omega saves Crosshair from drowning.

Someone does something super sweet for another. Wrecker gives Omega her room. Omega gives Wrecker Lula.

A cute tradition is established between characters. Wrecker has his popcorn-esque candy sharing with Omega.

Someone hurts someone else and has to ask forgiveness. Wrecker is upset about nearly shooting Omega and they have that sweet moment together.

Note that most of these examples could have occurred between other Batch members, but didn't. Someone could have created a space for Echo on the ship too. Wrecker also could have apologized to Tech for choking him, etc. It's not that those moments shouldn't happen with Omega, just that there should be more of a balance across the whole season, especially for a show supposedly focused on the original squad. Additionally, it's not that cute bonding moments between the rest of the Batch don't exist. I love Hunter selling Echo off as a droid. I love Wrecker and Tech bickering while fixing the ship. I love the tug-of-war to save Wrecker from the sea monster. Yes, we do have moments... it's just that comparatively it feels pretty skewed in Omega's direction.

So, as a VERY long-winded way of answering your question, I think we need to fix the above in order to tackle Crosshair's redemption in season two. Now that we've had a full season focused on Omega, we need to strike a better balance among the rest of the squad moving forward. We need to re-established the "obvious" conclusion that the rest of the Batch loves Crosshair and that's done (in part) by establishing their love for one another too. To my mind, both goals go hand-in-hand, especially since you can develop their relationship with Crosshair and their relationships with each other simultaneously. Imagine if instead of just having Wrecker somewhat comically admit that he misses Crosshair (like he's dead and they can't go get him??), he and Tech had a serious conversation about why they can't get him back yet, despite very much wanting to. Imagine if Echo, the one who was rescued against all odds, got to scream at Hunter to go get Crosshair like Omega screamed at them to go back for Hunter. Imagine if we'd gotten more than a tiny arc in TCW to establish the Batch's dynamic with each other, providing a foundation for how they would each react to Crosshair's absence. Instead, what little we've got in TBB about Crosshair's relationship with his brothers is filtered through Omega: Omega's embarrassment that she knocked over Crosshair's case, Omega treating Crosshair's comm link like a toy, Omega's quest to save Hunter that just happened to involve Crosshair along the way.

Obviously, at this point we can't fix how the first season did things, but I think we can start patching over these issues in season two. It would be jarring—we'd still be 100% correct to ask where this "Brothers love you, support you, and will endlessly fight for you" theme was for Crosshair's entire time under the Empire's thumb... but I'd take an about-face into something better than not getting any improvement at all. It is frustrating though, especially for a show that I otherwise really, really enjoyed. For me, the issue isn't so much that the show made a mistake (since no show is perfect), but that the mistake is attached to such a foundational part of the franchise. Not just in terms of "SW is about hope and forgiveness" but the specific relationship most clones have with each other: a willingness to go above and beyond for their brothers. The focus on Omega aside, it's hard to believe in the family dynamic when one member of the family was so quickly and easily dismissed. I couldn't get invested in Hunter's rescue as much as I should have because rather than going, "Yes!! Save your brother!!!" my brain just kept going, "Lol where was this energy for Crosshair?" It messes with your reading of the whole story, so in order to fix that mistake going forward, we need to start seeing the bonds that only sometimes exist in season one. Show the guys expressing love for one another more consistently (in whatever way that might be—as you say, soldiers don't have to be all touchy-feely. Give us more moments like Wrecker supporting his brothers' bad habits) and then extend that to Crosshair. Which brother is going to demand that they fight for him? Which brother is going to acknowledge that they never tried to save him? Which brother is going to question this iffy statement about the chip? In order to buy into the family theme, Omega can't be the only one doing that emotional work.

Ideally, I wouldn't want Crosshair to go out of his way to prove that he's a good guy now. I mean, I obviously want him to stop helping the Empire and such, duh lol, but I'm personally not looking for a bunch of Extra Good Things directed at the Batch as a requirement for forgiveness. Simply because that would reinforce the idea that they're 100% Crosshair's victims, Crosshair is 100% the bad guy, and he's the only one who needs to do any work to fix this situation. Crosshair needs to stop doing bad things (working for Empire). But the Batch needs to start doing good things too (reaching out to him). Especially since Crosshair made a good play already, only to be met with glares and distrust. He saved Omega! And AZI! And none of them cared. So am I (is Crosshair) supposed to believe that saving one of their lives again will result in a different reaction? That doesn't make much sense. And no, his own life wasn't at risk when he did that, but does every antagonist need to die/nearly die to prove they're worth fighting for? As you say, he's already shown that he loves them, far more than they've shown the reverse. Every time Crosshair hurt them (attacking) it was while he was under the chip's influence. In contrast, the group has no "I was being controlled" excuse for when they hurt him (abandonment). Season two needs to acknowledge the Batch's responsibility in all this—and acknowledge that they're all victims of the Empire—in order to figure out an appropriate arc for Crosshair's redemption.

Right now, the issue is not Crosshair loving his brothers, the issue is how Crosshair chooses to express that love: trying to keep them safe and giving them a purpose in life by joining the organization that's clearly going to dominate the galaxy. The only way to fix that, now that his offer has been rejected, is for him to realize that a life on the run from the Empire, together, is a better option for everyone. And the only way for that to happen is for the Batch to seriously offer him a place with them again. They need to make the first move here. They need to fight for him. And yeah, I totally get that a lot of people don't like that because it's not "fair." He's the bad guy. He's with the fascist allegory. He's killed people and has therefore lost any right to compassion and effort from the good guys... but if that's the case, then we just have to accept that (within the story-world, not from a writing perspective) Crosshair is unlikely to ever come back from this. When people reach that kind of low, they rarely pull themselves out on their own. They need other people to help them do that. Help them a lot. But with the exception of Omega's reminder—which Crosshair can't believe due to how everyone else has treated him—they leave him alone and seem to expect him to fix himself first, then he gets their support. It needs to be the other way around. Support is what would allow him to become a good guy again, not "Well, you'll get our love when you're good again, not before." That's unlikely to occur and, as discussed, it doesn't take into account things like this bad guy life being forced on Crosshair at the start. If the story really wanted this to be a matter of ideological differences... then make it about ideological differences. Let Crosshair leave of his own free will, right at the start. Don't enslave him for half the season, have him realize he was abandoned, imply all that brainwashing, give him no realistic way out, and then punish him for not doing the right thing. This isn't a situation where someone went bad for the hell of it—the story isn't asking us to feel compassion for, say, the Admiral—it's a situation where Crosshair was controlled and now can't see a way out. That context allows for the Batch, the good guys, to fight for him without the audience thinking the show is just excusing that behavior. They should have been fighting from the start, but since they didn't, I hope we at least start seeing that in season two.

Ultimately though... I don't really expect all of the above. The more balanced dynamics and having the Batch fight for Crosshair rather than Crosshair going it alone... I wouldn't want to bet any money on us getting it, just because these are things that should have been established in season one and would have been more easy to pull off in season one. (If the Batch wouldn't fight for Crosshair while he was literally under the Empire's control, why would they fight now when he's supposedly acting of his own free will? It's backwards in terms of the emotional effort involved.) But again, it could happen! I'd be very pleased if it did happen, despite the jarring change. I don't want to make it sound like I think they're going to write off Crosshair entirely. Far from it, I think there are too many details like his sad looks for that, to say nothing of Omega's compassion. But the execution of getting him on Team Good Guys again might be preeeetty bumpy. I expect it to revolve around Crosshair's sins and Crosshair's redemption, even if what I would like is balancing that with Crosshair's loss of agency, the Batch's mistakes, and their own redemption towards him.

Honestly though, I just hope that whatever happens happens soon. It's a personal preference, absolutely, but after a season of Crosshair as the antagonist, I'm ready for him to be back with the group, making the Empire (and bounty hunters) the primary enemy. Whether his return happens through a mutual acknowledgement of mistakes, or through Crosshair being depicted as the only one in the wrong who has to do something big to be forgiven... just get him back with the squad lol. Because if the writing isn't going to delve into that nuance, then the longer he remains unforgiven, the longer some of us have to watch a series while going, "Wait, wait, wait, I really don't agree with how you're painting this picture."

#TBB #The Bad Batch #SW #Star Wars #mymetas #long post

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randomestfandoms-ocs · 5 years ago

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I know we’ve all ready been talking but the full plans for the Bracebridge dinner episode of everyone? (minus Paige, obviously)

OKAY SO!!!

Rory invites Sophie and Tristan after finding out that their parents have abandoned them for the holidays (or if I go with the “they’re sent to stay with Richard and Emily until they get their shit together” then that’s why they get invited); it’s going to have some cute Rory & Sophie & Tristan friendship but mostly it’ll be focused on the twins being adorable and codependent and just happy for a change!

Antoinette goes with Emily and Richard! Rory has definitely picked up on the fact that Antoinette has a crush on Paris and as soon as Paris agrees to stay for dinner she invites her to stay overnight and puts them in the same room! They go on the carriage ride together and it’s very soft and cute and romantic and they kiss! They might get together during this but I’m not 100% committed because I do want to wait and see if there’s another good moment for them! But I’m leaning towards them kissing and then Paris asking about Tristan and Antoinette explaining that they broke up after Romeo and Juliet because Tristan totally realized that Antoinette had a crush on Paris and they broke up amicably!

Kirsty and Tristan have been inseparable since Romeo and Juliet and are finally back together and happier than ever and like definitely also best friends! They help get things set up together and spend the entire day being super cute and sweet and lowkey sickening but it’s just very pure! They go on the carriages together and it’s very soft and adorable and I just love them a lot and they’re there in the carriage with snow falling and when they’re stopped under the glow of a streetlight, Tristan brushes a snowflake from Kirsty’s eyelashes and tells her that he thinks he might be falling in love with her!!!! Kirsty says she thinks she might be falling in love with him too, then they kiss, and at some point during the night, Luke gives Tristan a shovel talk! Miss Patty also won’t shut up about how sweet of a couple they are and how sweet it is to see the way that Tristan looks at Kirsty when she’s dancing!

I have a bit less planned for Charlotte but I’m thinking that she’s sitting alone on a carriage and Jess climbs in to join her and makes some sarcastic comment about chivalry and how it’s his responsibility to protect her and she roles her eyes (they’ve started to get along at this point and the whole ‘you’re only a month older than me, Jess’ thing is totally fond by now) and makes an equally sarcastic comment about chivalry but doesn’t kick him out! They talk a bit about the fight he got into at school and about the whole luke pretending that it was his idea that jess stay in stars hollow and not liz, and char tells him that luke does that every year for her about rachel and it just turns into an actually sweet scene where they bond over unreliable mothers and it’s a decisive turning point in their relationship!

#ask #answered #the october reviewer #sophie dugray #about sophie #antoinette kensington #about antoinette #kirsty gilmore #about kirsty #charlotte howard danes #about charlotte h-d

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dolcetters · 5 years ago

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15 ! 6 ! 38 !

the be honest meme. send me a number and i’ll tell you the honest truth. either a simple yes or no answer or a detailed response.

———-•••••———-

6. Do you prefer writing male muses or female more? Why?

i don’t think i have a PREFERENCE, more so that my female muses have, unfortunately, come from lesser known or inactive fandoms and it’s a lot harder to get them off the ground. like heather from silent hill or jesse from CONTROL.

pretty much ALL of my OCs are female, but kind of the same hat. the fact that i insist on drawing their icons doesn’t help but that’s also entirely my fault because i always make things so much harder for myself than they need to be. <xDDD

15. How has rp changed you personally?

i definitely have a much easier time standing up for myself, l m f a o, granted i don’t know if that’s entirely due to RP experiences.

maybe it’s general life exhaustion, maybe it’s the bad apples i’ve encountered during my long time spent on this dumpster fire, but i just. don’t take bullshit anymore. and this isn’t to say i’ll go from “myself” to immediate “asshole mode” if i start getting bad vibes from someone--i respond in kind, i respond fairly.

but as someone who’s been in 1 actually emotionally abusive relationship and 1 could-have-been-abusive-but-they-dropped-me-the-moment-i-was-no-longer-useful relationship, i’m usually pretty quick to pick up on red flags and i will just as quickly snuff them out if i feel like it’s needed. i’m too tired for this shit anymore.

on a more positive note, it has helped my writing ability A LOT. like, so much. oh my god. i feel like i not only communicate better through my writing, but my range of characters i can write effectively has expanded. lesser dog has gone where no dog has gone before!!

38. What advice would you give to someone new to rp?

some general advice that you’re gonna hear everywhere is “just do it” and “have fun” and all that jazz, which is very true! and you should listen to that.

some less general advice ( i guess ) is that you’re 100% in control of your RP experience, and i’m gonna break that down a bit.

1. if someone’s making you uncomfortable, soft-block or block them. if they want to get butt-hurt over that, that’s on them. you don’t owe them a reason, an explanation, whatever. i guess the only real exception to this is if the other person is someone you called or considered a friend, then that decision is more up to you on whether or not you talk to them beforehand. like, if you’ve realized they’re manipulating you, using you, being actively harmful, then i’d say blocking is more than appropriate. but if you’re having some kind of a fight or disagreement that can be worked out, it might be beneficial to talk before mass-blocking. use your judgement.

2. communicate with your partners. don’t go along with something you’re not fully on board with just because it’ll make them happy. communication is NOT starting an argument, it’s getting thoughts and feelings out on the table so both ( or all ) parties are clear on things. if someone decides to interpret your attempts at communicating your discomfort or lack of desire to do a thing as an argument or attack, you probably should start distancing yourself from that person ( unless you ARE being argumentative for no reason in which case... please step back and be self-aware ).

3. role-playing is supposed to be FUN. for most of us ( like me ), this is escapism. this is not your job. if you need to take breaks, take breaks. if you’re losing interest in a thread, tell the person you’re writing with. if you’re losing muse, take some time to figure out if you’re even enjoying writing for them anymore ( there’s NO shame in losing interest or muse!!! ). this shouldn’t be stressful, it shouldn’t be a chore. please don’t ever feel bad for times when you’re just not feeling it or you feel like goofing off for a day or two instead of doing “serious” or longer RPs. it’s all good. sit back, relax, do or don’t do whatever. it’s called role-playing because we’re PLAYING. so, play!

#♦: ooc answer .#♠: m : the be honest meme .#[ ;0; thank u bby chick <3 ]#hinabae

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rctribvtns · 5 years ago

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ok so, i’ve never done one of these before so bear with me. under the cut are a few wanted connections i’ve come up with, as well as the connections that nova’s already filled for other muses so i can keep track of them.

PSA. they’re first come first serve ( and i’ll try to keep it updated ) so if you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it !! also if none of these tickle your fancy, i’m 100% on board to brainstorm a few different ideas.

PLATONIC.

( the “ twin sister ” ) : see wanted connection on the main. [0/1]

( the ‘ bad dads club ’ connection ) : this character is also a resident of hades cabin. they both have some abandonment issues when it comes to dads and over time they became confidantes. they’re not the kind of people who’d come right and say hey i’ve got your back, but if someone was messing with the other they’d step up and square up. [ 1/1 taken by tam. ]

( the ' best friends ’ ) : inspiration: the golden trio. muse a is someone nova clicked with almost instantly upon arriving at camp half-blood. preferably this person would have been in hermes cabin approx. 5 years ago. whether they were the claimed child of a god with no cabin, or an unclaimed half-blood, they bonded over shared interests and compatible personalities. when nova wants to get into a little trouble, or do something stupid, this person isn’t far behind. muse b is someone they initially clashed with — maybe over their differences, or something petty like cutting their favorite shirt with a blade during weapons training. whatever the reason, it was petty, and they remained at odds with each other until they all went on a quest together. this bonded them all instantly and they’ve been near-inseparable ever since. this person also tries to be the logical one and keep muse a and nova from running their lives into the ground. [ 1/2 muse b taken by zach. ]

( the ‘ tentative friends ’ ) : when they first met, they did not get along. he was very angry, finding it unfair that he was shoved into hermes cabin without a place he really belonged, and they argued about this. in fact, they argued a lot. so much so that it eventually culminated in a big fight where he got his ass handed to him. ever since, he’s pulled his head out of his ass a little and they’ve become tentative friends. there’s mutual respect there, though it’s unclear what else, and their friendship is probably best described as friends adjacent. that all might change though if she goes through with their dare from her cabin mates to make him fall for her. [ filling lily’s wanted connection. ]

( the ‘ tour guide ’ ) : when he arrived at camp half-blood, he had quite the chip on his shoulder. he was on the outs with his family, recently claimed, and feeling the sting of rejection to find out that hades kids were lumped into the other cabin. he was probably a brat at first, kind of impossible to be around, but this person somehow looked past it and helped him adjust to life at camp which he did appreciate — even if he sucked at showing it. [0/1]

( the ‘ competitive friends ’ ) : nova has filled this connection for jesse. competitive friends . they’re rivals , in every sense of the word . equal in fighting prowess and in shit - talking abilities , the only place they can seem to get some really good competition is in the other . as a result , they spend a lot of time going head to head in the arena or debating over something stupid in the mess hall at dinner . neither of them hate each other , though it might look like that sometimes .

( the ‘ sparring partner ’ ) : nova has filled this connection for finn. finn isn’t the best at fighting hand - to - hand combat , but they’re partners during practices ! maybe they teach him a bit of what they know and he returns the favor somehow .

( the ' salt bae ’ ) : these two gravitate towards each other when they want to be shady, or pessimistic, and aren’t looking to hear empty platitudes to try and make them feel better. they’re both a little emo, jaded about the world around them, and there’s a quiet kind of kinship shared between them as a result. [ 1/1 taken by autumn. ]

( the ‘ slow burn friend ’ ) : this character was also in hermes cabin. they bonded over mutual annoyances at being grouped in with the others, among other things. stargazing on the roof of their cabin was something they shared together, and continued to even after they were claimed and nova remained in the hermes cabin. over time they became friends, though nova couldn’t point to one specific moment to identify when it actually happened. [ 1/1 taken by min. ]

ROMANTIC.

( the ‘ will they / won’t they ’ ) : for two years, nova and this person danced around each other. maybe they went out once or twice, or maybe they just talked about doing it and it never happened, but it was probably well known that these two had a thing for each other and it just never panned out. [0/1]

( the ‘ unlikely crush ’ ) : on paper, these two people have nothing in common. this other muse is a kind person, the kind of person who you’d think would get under nova’s skin and irritate him with their goodness, but instead he started to crush on them. in turn, it probably made him more of a jerk towards them. whether they’re on good terms or not now is undetermined. [ 2/2 taken by avalon and fernanda. ]

( the ‘ first kiss ’ ) : they meet at a carnival. his mother’s working her stand and he decides to play hooky for the day. he meets this other muse, they spend the day together, and sparks fly. on the ferris wheel, at the end of a day well-spent, they kiss. it’s his very first and it’s kind of a perfect one. they exchange numbers but he accidentally washes it off his hand. he hopes to see her again, to make contact, but the carnival picks up and moves the next day and they never see each other again. until now. [ 1/1 taken by harper. ]

( the ‘ exploited crush ’ ) : this muse is someone that nova realized, pretty early on, had a crush on him. they weren’t very subtle but they sure thought they were. the other muse never made a move — and nova, admittedly, wasn’t really interested — but he never said anything because he liked the attention. maybe your muse has finally worked up the courage to say something, or has started to pick up on signs that he knows. [0/1]

( the ‘ hook-ups ’ ) : this one goes without explanation. brief flings, no real commitments, just teen hearts beating faster, faster. we can flesh out whether it was a one-time thing, or a friends with benefits situation, but real feelings were never factored into the equation. [ 1/5 taken by delia. ]

( the ‘ unrequited crushee ’ ) : nova has filled this connection for abel. unrequited crush a . abel is absolutely obsessed with them , but they barely know he exists . he isn’t even a blip on their radar , despite the fact that he goes out of his way to be where they are most of the time .

ADVERSARIAL

( the ‘ mess of an ex ’ ) : this muse isn’t necessarily a mess, but their relationship definitely was. it was nova’s first and only serious relationship and it didn’t go well. he was allergic to commitment, constantly throwing himself in quickly and then getting cold feet and being wishy washy about where they stood, which led to the inevitable dissolution of the relationship. this muse wasn’t very patient with him, irritated by his behavior, and when they split it was very ugly. we’re talking screaming at each other out by the lake, a capsized canoe, and probably people taking bets on which one of them was going to make it back alive. there’s love there, there always was, but their problems outweighed any of the good times. [ 1/1 taken by dromeda. ]

( the ‘ anything you can do, i can do better ’ ) : these two muses have been at each other’s throats for years. instead of just being competitive, challenging each other to be better, they’ve made it their personal goals to best the other person. possibly to their own detriment, or sanity. why they hate each other doesn’t even matter at this point, bonus points if they can’t even remember, but the petty rivalry runs rampant and they argue and compete over everything. literally everything, big or small. [ 1/1 taken by brooklyn. ]

#wanted connections

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theydontknowaboutusimagines · 5 years ago

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Outside the Rain - Harry styles Series (Part 18)

Part 17

You groaned rolling over on the other side of your bed. Your body was stiff and you were still exhausted, but the urge to pee was preventing you from staying asleep. You pushed yourself up and out of the bed, moving slowly with half closed eyes walking towards the bathroom. When you were finished, you sleepily made your way back to the bed. The morning sun was shining in through your window and you sighed knowing you were due to get up in a little over an hour.

You laid back down in the bed, when you realized something. You sat up, rubbing your eyes, and looked around your room. Harry’s bags were over in the corner of the room, his clothes from the previous night were laid on the chair, yet he wasn’t in bed or in the room. Now, you were confused, had his things not been in the room, you would have thought you dreamt him being there.

Knowing you wouldn’t be able to fall back asleep, you decided to go ahead and get up, despite still being tired. Your muscles ached from the previous night’s video shoot and you knew your body would only be put to the test when it came to the performances you had lined up and tour next year.

You tried taming your hair a bit before you walked downstairs in search of your boyfriend. He was nowhere to found. You were just about to check your phone, when you saw Harry at the door with a bag and some to go coffee cups in his hand.

“So, that’s where you went,” you laughed when he walked inside.

“Sorry, I was hoping to be back before you woke up, but I got stuck in traffic,” he said.

“It wouldn’t be LA if you didn’t get stuck in traffic,” you laughed taking the coffees from him and heading over to sit down.

“How are you feeling this morning?” He asked.

“Like I got hit by a truck,” you sighed. “These rehearsals and everything are really taking a toll on me. I can’t believe I’m this out of shape. I workout at least five times a fucking week.”

“Yeah, but I’ve seen what you girls do and that’s braver than any marine or anything one can do at the gym,” he said pulling the breakfast sandwiches out of the bag. “And you only workout like what an hour and call it quits. But yet what you’re doing now is like three or more.”

“You did not just meme me,” you laughed.

“I did and you laughed!” He pointed at you.

“Because I can’t believe it,” you pointed at him.

“Yeah, yeah,” he said taking a bite. “I’m funny and you know it.”

“You wish,” you smirked.

“Would you like to finish that sandwich?” He asked. “Because I won’t hesitate to take it out of your hands.”

“And I won’t hesitate to kick you in the balls,” you said.

“Don’t joke about that,” He winced.

“Don’t joke about my breakfast sandwich,” you said.

“You know sometimes I wonder which you love more, breakfast sandwiches are me,” he joked.

“Definitely breakfast sandwiches,” you answered with a mouthful.

“Glad to see where I stand,” he laughed.

Later that morning, just as you were about to get ready for your lunch meeting, you got an email saying it was postponed until tomorrow, which you were super happy about. Not only because you didn’t feel up having a meeting, but because Harry was there and you wanted to spend time with him.

“So, I’ve got some great news!” You smiled walking into the living room, where Harry was searching around on Netflix. “The meeting has been moved to tomorrow, thank god.”

You walked over sitting down on the couch next to Harry.

“Then I guess that means I have you all to myself for the rest of the day?” He asked wrapping his arm around your shoulder.

“That you do, until I fall asleep,” you laughed.

He smiled kissing your head and wrapping a blanket around the two of you. You laid your head on his shoulder, wrapping your arms around his torso as you two watched a random movie. Your eyes started to feel heavy and you couldn’t control it more before giving in and falling asleep.

Harry knew you would fall asleep as soon as your head hit his shoulder. He could tell you were exhausted and to be quite honest it worried him a little bit. You were only just getting back into the scheme of things with the group and you were already pushing your limits. He knew what that was like and while he loved every minute of it, it was also from taxing on him physically and emotionally.

He knew you were happy with how things were going and being back with the girls, but he could also see you would hit a breaking point soon. There were bags under your eyes, you were looking a smidge bit skinner due to the rehearsing schedule sending your metabolism into overdrive, and when you weren’t working, you were spending your time with him.

Part of him wonders if him surprising you was actually a good idea or not. Had he not been there, then maybe you would actually get the proper rest you needed. He didn’t want you to feel like you had to entertain him the entire time. He looked down at you as you slept softly and peacefully at his side. He repositioned himself, so that he could move and let you sleep more comfortably on the couch. He ran his fingers through your hair as he watched the movie before eventually falling asleep himself.

Later that day, you woke up to the smell of something in the kitchen. You were still on the couch in the living room and music was being played softly in the background. You sat up, rubbing your eyes before getting up and walking into the kitchen. You instantly noticed the sunset and you couldn’t believe you slept the entire day.

“I’m sorry,” you sighed looking at Harry who was stirring something in a pot on the stove.

Harry turned around, “For what?”

“For sleeping so long,” you said walking over to him.

“Don’t worry about it,” he said wrapping his arm around your shoulder. “You need the rest.”

“Yeah, I did,” you nodded. “I feel a little better now.”

“And that’s all that matters,” he smiled kissing your head.

“What are you cooking?” You asked peeking over into the pot.

“Soup,” he smiled.

“Interesting,” you said. “I didn’t even know I had anything to make soup with.”

“Well, you didn’t, so I went to the store,” he laughed.

“God, Im such a horrible girlfriend,” you sighed. “You came all the way here to surprise me and I’ve not spent anytime with you.”

Harry sighed turning to look at you taking your hand into his, “You are not a horrible girlfriend, far from it, actually.”

You wrapped your arms around his waist, placing your head on his chest, “Thank you for being here.”

“Anytime,” he smiled wrapping his arms around you.

You looked up at him, puckering your lips, “I want a kiss,” you laughed.

He laughed placing his hands on your face as he leans down pressing his lips against yours.

It was the next day and you all had a quick rehearsal run through before your meeting at lunch. You still weren’t feeling 100%, but sleeping he prior day and having Harry there to take care of you definitely helped. After you two ate the soup he made for dinner, he ran you warm bath to help relax you before you both laid down in the bed, cuddling while watching another movie.

Speaking of Harry, he attended the rehearsals, wanting to see what you were working on. You had a few appearances coming up and you all need to practice for them. You were dripping with sweat and you only had been running through the routines for half an hour. You just finished another song, when you started feeling a little dizzy. Luckily, there was a quick water break, so you sipped on some water and tried calming yourself down.

“Okay, we’ve got enough time to run through it, one more time,” Daisy said.

You nodded wiping sweat from your forehead. Harry looked up from his phone, eyebrows furrowed as he looked over at you. He was really concerned about you, but he didn’t want to make a big scene about it. Plus, i was only one more time, so surely you would be okay after it.

However, halfway through the song, when you were doing a turn, you lost your balance as your knee gave out. You dropped to the ground in pain holding your leg as you cried out. Everyone stopped what they were doing and rushed to your side.

“Y/N!” Daisy said. “What’s wrong?”

“My fucking knee,” you cried. “Fuck.”

“Get some ice,” Daisy shouted. “From the cooler.”

“Should we call an ambulance?” Rachel asked.

“No,” you groaned.

“Can you even move to walk?” Jess asked.

Harry darted over with a small bag of ice, placing it on your severally swollen knee, “Baby, we need to get you to the hospital.”

“It hurts to move,” you sniffled. “Fuck me, this hurts like a fucking bitch.”

Harry grabbed the keys to you car from his back pocket, “Here, go unlock the car, while I pick her up and carry her,” he told Jess.

She quickly took them from her and headed straight for the parking lot. Harry placed his arms underneath you before gently picking you up causing you to wince.

“I need you to hold onto me,” he said. “And hold your leg out straight.”

You cried into his chest as he carried you out of the studio and to the car. Jess already had the car door open, so he placed you inside as gently as he could before putting the icepack back on your knee. The pain was so severe you started feeling nauseous.

“Maybe we should call an ambulance,” Daisy sniffled.

“We don’t have time,” Harry said. “Can someone ride with us? And the rest follow behind.”

“I will,” Daisy said getting in the car.

Harry nodded getting into the driver’s side as he flew to the hospital. He knew while this injury was serious, it wasn’t life-threatening. However, hearing your wails and curses of pain, broke his heart because he wanted nothing more than to take it from you. When he finally pulled into the parking lot of the Emergency Room, he helped get you out of the car, carrying you inside until he a nurse brought over a wheelchair.

“What happened?” She asked.

“Knee injury,” he said quickly. “While dancing. It’s swollen pretty badly and she’s in a lot of pain.”

“I think I’m going to be sick,” you groaned.

“Let’s get her back to a room,” the nurse said, luckily the ER was not super busy during that time.

Harry and Daisy went to follow the nurse, but she stopped them, “We need to get her settled and run some tests,” she said. “We will come get you when she can have visitors.”

They both nodded, walking over to the waiting room. Harry sat down, his legs bouncing up and down as his nerves took over his body. Tears filled his eyes, so he quickly wiped them away.

“She’s going to be,” Daisy whispered. “It’s probably just a sprain.”

“God, I hope so,” he sighed.

He hoped and prayed that the injury wouldn’t be all that serious and would only take maybe a few days or weeks to recover from. Because he knew if it wasn’t, and it affected the upcoming tour and appearances you all have worked so hard for, you would be extremely upset and felt like you let everyone down.

He also blamed himself, he could see you were exhausted and your body needed a break. Maybe if your schedule wouldn’t have been so hectic with dance rehearsals, then your body would have been under so much pressure. But it was too late to worry about what if’s and what could have been done differently. All that matter now was you being okay and it not ruining everything you had worked so hard for these last few months.

Uh-Oh! Poor Y/N!

Also, don’t forget to send in any ideas you might have for my new Christmas Series, Someone Special, by Friday night! :)

#One Direction Imagines #Harry Styles Imagines #Outside the Rain

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13rwbabes · 5 years ago

Text

Montgomery x Reader (Part 20/?)

MASTERLIST

Soooo…

Here is part 20, I was very excited about that one, I hope you like it as well even though it’s not 100% how I was imagining it in my head (I think it’s always that hard, when you have high expectations about something you’re doing, you’re never really satisfied).

Anyway, when I was putting myself in mood for writing this part I was listening to Dress by Taylor Swift because the lyrics fit soo much - here (I even stole one).

***

My mum was definitely was more excited than me about this whole prom thing. She woke me up at 9 and assured me that breakfast and dinner (that I absolutely have to eat before I leave) will not make me look bloated (not that I cared).

Montgomery didn’t answer my text last night. Not that I expected him to do so. Besides, what can you reply to No problem.

Jessica called me before I even had chance to finish my breakfast in peace.

“Hello?”, I answered.

“I’m just calling to make sure you didn’t change your mind and are still coming to a prom”, she said.

“Yea, I’m coming”, I sighed.

My mum gave me warning look. My dress was gorgeous, but was also very expensive and my mum agreed to pay only if I sweared I’ll go to the prom.

“Just Jess… Don’t have any expectations about tonight, okay? I don’t have. I’m in peace and I decided I’m going there to have fun with my friends”

“But…”

“Jess”, I said through my clenched teeth.

“Okay, I promise”, I could almost hear her rolling her eyes. “I will not say a word about Montgomery. I swear. Montgomery? I don’t know him”.

I laughed a little.

“Bye, see you later”.

The day passed faster than usually. I barely blinked and was standing in front of tallest mirror in the house where mum, dad and I could look at me at the same time. I was wearing short, loose golden dress with spaghetti straps. I curled my hair in loose waves and had goldish-brown smoky eye. I also started counting hours until I will be able to take off the heels.

“Oh, sweetie…”, my mum whispered. “You look amazing”.

“Mum, I swear, if you’re gonna cry”, I roll my eyes. “It’s not even homecoming, it’s just winter prom.”

“I know, I know…”, she sighed. “Ugh, you’ll have your own child, you’ll understand.”

“Y/N”, my dad spoke, “you look beautiful”, he said with a smile.

“Thank you”, I smiled.

We heard honking on our driveway.

“It’s Jeff, I have to go”, I put on my leather jacket and went down the stairs.

“Have fun!”, Mum and dad said standing at the front door when I was walking to Jeff’s car.

He was waiting inside with, his girlfriend Leah. I felt like a massive third wheel and assured him I can drive on my own or ask mum or dad, but he was so stubborn about it.

“Hi, guys”, I said as I sat on backseat.

“Hey, you look great”, Jeff said.

“Watch your language, Atkins, your girlfriend is listening”, I joked.

“That dress is bomb”, Leah said.

“Thank you”, I smiled at her. “I love your braid”.

We got to school, but I decided I won’t be third wheeling with them walking to the dance, so instead I went to my locker to put my jacket in there.

I took deep breath and walked in to the dance. I was looking around trying to find someone familiar until I finally spotted Jess, waving at me like a crazy person.

“Oh my God, you look amazing”, she hugged me.

“Thanks”, I smiled.

“I know I promised not to say a word but… Turn around. But don’t make it obvious.”

“Okay, so umm, where’s Justin?”, I said while looking around.

I spotted Monty. He was standing with jocks, staring at me. Suddenly he realised I was looking at him and looked in different direction.

“Listen, the first moment he saw you, I swear, his knees got weak”, Jess said. I didn’t answer anything, just smiled at her.

“Wow, Y/N, I wouldn’t recognize you”, Justin came up with drinks.

“Is there something extra in it?”, I asked taking cup from him.

“Duh”, he chuckled.

***Monty’s POV***

I came to this stupid prom way too early. I was standing on the side with guys, they were commenting appearance of every girl that walked in. But I didn’t care. The only person I cared about was Y/N. I swore to myself that if see her today and I get that gut feeling again I will talk to her. I will tell her fucking everything even if once again it’ll end up with her telling me that I destroy everything and it won’t change. Jeff and his girlfriend came. But Y/N wasn’t with them. It didn’t make sense, he was picking her up on his way here for sure, why didn’t she came in with them? Did she ditch prom? No, impossible, Jessica was giving her so much crap about it, she would come here or Jess would never leave her alone.

“Wow, look at her, man, she won”, I heard one of the boys.

I looked in the same direction they were looking and there she was. She was looking liks a goddess. She always looked great in general, but that dress was doing her huge favour. She had a bit of some sparkly shit on top of her cheeks that made her look angelic. Llittle part of me that was bastard who had no right to be jealous, wanted to get her out of here only so other boys wouldn’t look at her. Y/N quickly walked to Jess, they hugged. Jessica said something, Y/N mumbled something back while looking down and putting hair behind her ear, so more than probably Jess complimented her and she couldn’t take it, as always. Y/N looked around, mentioning something about Justin (what I read from movements of her lips because now I apparently turned into psycho) and then her eyes met me. Jesus, she looked so beautiful it almost hurt. I should’ve walked up to her, take her away from Jessica and tell her whole fucking truth. Instead, she smiled a little at me and I quickly looked away with huge tangle in my stomach. Well played, Monty…

*** Y/N’s POV***

I drank whole drink at once, because apparently I was more nervous than I thought. I didn’t know I was nervous at all.

“I’m going for a refill”, I said.

“It’s in red bowl.”

“Just take it slow, Y/N”, Jess said.

“She’ll be fine”, I heard Justin talking to her as I was walking away.

I was pouring myself a drink when someone stood next to me.

“Hey, Y/N”.

I looked up.

“Oh, hey Scott”, Scott was one of the baseball jocks, we were familiar with each other but never really talked.

“Nice dress”, he said.

“Thanks”, I smiled nervously. Okay this was weird. We almost never talked to each other and suddenly he comes up to me, starts conversation and complements my dress.

“Umm… Would you like to dance?”

“Oh, well, no one is dancing, you know?”, I pointed at the back, where literally everyone was standing I small groups and just talking.

“Yeah, I don’t mean like now, but later?”

“Oh, okay, but why did you ask now and not later?”, I asked.

“I probably wasn’t suppose to tell, but I made a bet with Troy who will dance with you first, so… you know…”, as he was talking he started to realize it sounds bit silly.

“Okay”, I laughed a little.

Suddenly Monty walked up.

“Yo, Scotty, Bryce was looking for you. He and guys went behind the bleachers”, he said .

“Oh, cool, I’m going”, Scott nodded. “Y/N, we have a deal”, he pointed at me and walked away.

“You’re not going?”, I asked because Mintgomery still stood next to me but didn’t say a word.

“No, I don’t feel like smoking today.”

I nodded and looked around nervously.

“So, um, what’s the deal with Scott?”, he asked, looking around, trying to sound relaxed but I could see vein on his neck pulsing.

He was stressed. He was talking to me. About another guy. And was stressed about that. I bit my lips trying not to smile.

“He made a bet with Troy who will dance with me first”, I shrugged. “I don’t know why did they come up with that…”

“Yoo look beautiful”, he said suddenly.

“Thank you”, I smiled and I could feel I started blushed. “Well”, I cleared my throat, “you look good too. That suit? Nice one, de la Cruz.”

“Thanks”, he was looking down at his feet.

“Come oonnn! Y/N!!”, Jess came up, put my cup on the table and took my hand. “Come on, its our song, let’s daaanceeee”

I gave Monty apologising smile as she was pulling me away.

“What the hell, Jess?”

“We can’t give you to him on a golden plate”, she said.

“We? And besides what are you talking about?”, I shook my head. “He came up to me, he started talking to me, because he wanted to do so, what more do you want?”

“He walked up to you to make Scott go away”, she rolled her eyes. “He needs to try harder. Now, dance, he’s watching”

I sighed.

“Whatever”, I mumbled.

Me, Jess and Sheri dance a few songs, then Scott came up.

“Hey, do you remember?”, he asked.

“Yeah, sure”, I nodded.

We danced two songs together, then I remembered I left my phone in my jacket.

“It was really nice, thank you for not trying to put hands on my ass”, I said.

He laughed.

“Can I ask you something?”

I nodded.

“When I told you I made a bet with Troy, you could easily told me and him to go to hell but you agreed?”

“Well… First of all, because I’m quite naive I believed that dance means dance and not trying to having your hands all over my body, which was correct. Second of all, I still decided to dance with you, even though you kind of broke the rules of bet, because you didn’t make any comments when that stupid list came out. Unlike Troy.”

“Cool, thanks”, he smiled and nodded.

I went to my locker. Hall was a little bit scary, because it was dark outside, half of the lights were off and I was alone there. At least that’s what I thought.

“Well, well, well, look who’s here”, I heard Bryce when I was opening my locker.

I rolled my eyes before I turned to him.

“Hey”, I tried to sound neutral.

“Damn, Y/N, you look so hot”, he said standing way too close to me.

“Can you take a step back? I don’t know what the hell did you smoke but it stinks.”

“We were trying some new stuff”, he said but didn’t move. “I like you, you know? Good looks, sharp tongue, that’s good mix”, he said moving even closer.

“I wish I could tell the same about you. Now seriously take a step back, Bryce”

“Oh come”, he put my hair behind my ear. “Don’t be so tense.”

Okay, Bryce was annoying 99% of the time, but this time he was making me feel seriously uncomfortable and I needed to came up with something that would make me leave him alone. Risk was high, because I knew Monty told everything about us to Justin and Zach, but I wasn’t sure if he was talking to Bryce.

“I would say one word about this to Montgomery and he would fucking kill you”, I said.

“You mean my best friend Montgomery?”, he chuckled. “

"Well, if he’s your best friend then you know I’m right”, I said giving him a daring look.

“Come on, we’re just messing around”, he laughed but took a step back.

“Well, find someone else to mess around”, I said as I shut my locker and quickly walked away.

I got my to the dance, Jeff walked up.

“Hey, you’re good?”, he asked concerned.

“Yeah, Bryce was just talking his shit. Nevermind.”

“Okay”, he nodded his head. “Do you know what haven’t happen yet today? We haven’t dance together”, he took my hand and pull me in the middle of the crowd.

“Come on, Atkins, where’s you girlfriend? Dance with her?”, I moaned.

“She’s in toilet. Stop talking. Dance”, he ordered.

And I did. Dancing with Jeff was pretty much like contest of weird dance moves and making silly faces and I loved it. We had the best time and we didn’t care if other people are watching. We hugged at the end and we heard voice saying, “May I?”

I turned and saw Montgomery.

“She’s yours”, Jeff smiled and walked away.

“Hi”, I said quietly. He smiled at me.

“And we sloooow dooown a little bit”, Tony, today also known as DJ, said and played slow song. As if it couldn’t get any more awkward.

Montgomery put his hands on my waist, I hold my breath for a second because of the feeling of his hands on my body. God, I missed it. I put my hands around his neck. We started dancing slowly.

“So…”, we both started talking at the same time.“

"You go first”, he said.

“Are you feeling better about yesterday?”, I asked. I needed to break the awkward silence and this was all that came up to my mind.

“Yeah, yeah, I am. You are right, it’s just one game”, he shrugged.

“Good”, I nodded.

“Listen… Remember on New year’s Eve when I told you you were the best friend I have ever had?”

“Yes”, I said.

I could swear my hands started sweating.

“Let’s go back to this. I liked having you around. I liked having a friend in you…”

No. I didn’t wanted to go down that road again. I didn’t want to have a friend in him. I mean, I wanted. But I wanted something more.

“I don’t want you like a best friend”, I interrupted him. “I was so stupid and I should do it long time ago… Instead of ending this thing between us and making this whole mess.”

He was looking at me confused.

“I don’t want you like a best friend. I want more…”, I was looking him deep in the eyes. “And I wanted more for so long, but I was coward and pushed you away over and over again”, I was talking when suddenly he put one of his hands in my hair, the other one that was still in my waist pulled me closer and he kissed me.

At first in shock, but I felt like some tension, I wasn’t even aware of, left my body, maybe I even sighed with relief. If we were in a movie that moment, camera would spin around the two of us.

This kiss was different than any kisses before when we were making out. It was soft, delicate and gentle almost as if Monty was careful.

“God, you’re silly”, he whispered after kiss and rested his forehead on mine.

“Huh?”, I mumbled with my eyes still closed.

“How could you not notice that I’m all about you? I’m crazy about you. I’m not great in those big words but… I feel vulnerable when I’m with you. You’re my safe place, Y/N”, he said looking me deep in the eyes.

“I… I…”, I stuttered. But I couldn’t find right words. Instead I tightened my hands hugging him and hid my face in crook of his neck.

“Do you want to get out from here?”, he said into my ear. I nodded.

Monty took my hand and led me through crowd towards the exit. Just before we left I spotted Jess and Sheri smiling at us. We took my jacket from locker, left the school and walked straight, holding hands for the whole time. We were walking in silence, but this silence was different. It felt good.

***

Tag list: @potatosheepchild, @cigarettesandtattoos, @lord-taika, @starscantshinewithoutdarknesx, @parkershoco

#montgomery de la cruz #montgomery de la cruz imagine #13 reasons why #13 reasons why imagine #13rw

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neuropathicgypsy · 5 years ago

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So there's this guy who isn't so great...

So i saw a photo of him and I'd seen it before but this time i was thinking about some dark shit...

And I realized who he is...

It doesn't always happen that way... Actually... Like it was dark but not bad... Then what i remember was bad...

And so may be this girl was lying and it was the way it was initially with the memories about this guy... And maybe she did deserve her ass beat...

But their relationship wasn't as he wanted me to believe... Like it was more like how she said it was...

And may be 100% like she said... Like maybe it really does only take 20 minutes for an abortion. How would i know? I never had one... Or may be her mom was confused... About what time i dropped her off... Idk im trying to remember 10 years later and frankly i don't even care.

I washed my hands of both of them fully in 2008....

So now randomly he's popped back in my life... And completely random...

I didn't have a problem with him until he kept lying to me... Like for real lies like "I'm coming over" and he doesn't. Like that. Not like i think he's lying... Like its really obvious hes lying... Like its a fact.

Then i was all fuck this shit. And Matt happened to be with him and I waited like 8 hours and he did this huge song and dance and so i told Matt, punch him 5 times, at least 2x in the face.

So Matt did... Cause dam dude it was ridiculous. I already seen him and i already identified his alter ego but i was okay to over look it. Like it wasn't my relationship and it wasn't like it been 10 years since she had him arrested for beating her and i went with her to the court...

Yeah he definitely can't handle alcohol...

Like he would be cool at my house at first but as the night wore on... I would be like 2 hours later... Time for bed and make an excuse of life i had the next day instead of drinking and hanging out all night

He would be all "its nine o'clock!!" And i would be all "yeah Tom, sometimes we all have to grow up and admit responsibility"

Yeah sometimes he was a bitch... Like when i said anything with sense he would be all "i need to duct tape her mouth"

Or that one time he wanted to put me in my kitchen trash bin... I told him i didn't give a Fuck so he put it over my head and i told him to pick up the trash off my kitchen floor and he did then swept it and left a big pile in the floor...

But overall he was just his unique self that i kinda got used to...

Because his drama with my friend was between them -- unless my friend bitched about him later, like when we took the kids to the park, and i tried to help her figure him out.

Anyways so now i know my friend wasn't lying about him...

And i know other shit he did... Like to me...

Cause i actually knew him in Alabama, NYC, Texas, Oklahoma and now here... Like a stalker...

And so i am wondering... Should I tell him what i know? What i remember? The bad things?

Or should i just not?

I wonder if it will do any good... Like Why for put myself through his bull shit when i really just want to be left alone?

Do i want to remember?

No... I don't want to feel my ribs feeling like they're about to break or sharp pains on the side of my head -- the side closest to the wall in the bed so he could say i fell instead of it being on the side where he slept...

Like being drugged... So he can lie as to why he and my ex husband thought it was great to spike drinks.... Like ...

I don't care. I really don't.

He knows what he did and I just want him to go away. Obviously he isn't going to stop... Obviously he shouldn't be around the female human...

But what I'm just gonna pull evidence out his ass? My ass? Prove it?

I really don't think i can...

He already was sentenced 9 months for what he did to my friend.

May be he learned... Idk.

Obviously hes not going to come over and despite his recent meddling, people have come to their senses about him... Like he totally doesn't give a shit about me. Or them.

So obviously i left him when i was younger, between his father and mine, i got out of the house with him and he quickly moved on to "someone better" and he brought her over and the next one an the next cause he thought when i told the girls he beat me, i was jealous and trying to break them up...

When i was saying, I am so glad i left and I'm left alone 90% of the time and he isn't all up my ass bugging me and being weird and hitting me cause he had nothing else to do and no brain activity. And that it could happen to them, too. For no fucking reason.

It took a while, too for his dad to help me understand it wasn't me... Like he was just crazy... Stupid. Jealous. And dumb. Not too long but i did have to be taught that there's no difference between an abusive boyfriend or girlfriend or husband and an abusive parent or sibling. I always thought i really did something wrong

Now I know... I let him live and i was afraid of him and to let the "monster inside of me" out. And i was afraid I wouldn't win and i would die at his hands.

Now I'm not. Now I don't even care although I know for a fact he could probably break my neck in less than 10 seconds... Not because I'm suicidal or don't care about myself.

But because I do care about myself and I know that i can kick his ass. I know i don't have to and i know i can kick his ass soft enough that he behaves better and also that i can kick it so he never breathes again.

Because I'm angry. At what he did to me. Im angry that i believe without a doubt he would do it again if i didn't know all HIS male friends that would kick his ass, without a doubt until he quit bleeding.

Because I'm angryi have to feel the physical pain he did to me and i have to remember the bruises and the tears and the frustration and annoyance and knowledge that i wasn't loved.

Because I'm angry my fucking ribs hurt.

Idk that night he put on his act. I wanted him dead. Like i didn't care. I wanted to. I really did. I wanted to care about his life and his safety but I didn't. I hated him. With every cell of my being.

Matt said "i only punched him 2x in the face" i was all go back and hit him 10x in the face!!! Like it wasn't enough and i KNOW Matt did to to what he deserved not tappy tap tap.

I heard that over a week later, on Halloween, his face was still mangled... Like 6 broken noses and 5 black eyes... Like... Obviously he only has one nose and 2 eyes but there was enough damaged tissue for more.

I dont even feel bad... Like i still feel,it isn't enough. Because now i feel pain. And have since Halloween when the people he went to the carnival with left because i left. And haven't seen him since. Because they figured out thwt he was purposely keeping them from me, in line for the Haunted House for nearly 2 hours... I was not gonna stay..,

They could got out of line and sat with me at the fire they gave more logs for and rejoined him when he was near the front... It was cold where they were. They could even had taken turns in line.

It wasn't something i could do... I didn't even know they were there until after I left. All i was told was they would be about an hour... Which made no sense cause i thought they said they were already there... So what for an hour?

For the first time in forever it was just me and my kid for Halloween. We could done anything. My kid actually wanted to do the Haunted House... But didnt want to wait in the 36°F line for over an hour.

Its a good thing they left too, i got beat up in the Halloween Haunted House before, too.... Perfect place... Dark.. Scary... All perfect for "accidents" with no real person to take fault... Just accidents...

So really... I'm like part of me wants to tell him i know what he did...

But more i just want him to not exist.

And then another part of me still likes him and wishes he has grown up and realized he could be better than he allows himself to be. Part of me feels sorry for him.

I know he just wants to be loved and safe Just like we all do...

And I could love him as a friend as I had in the past... Knowing hes not been trustworthy in the past makes it easier to protect myself.

I handled him quite pperfectly 11 years ago... Until my ex husband I was married to then, started encou stupid and dangerous and evil entertainment.

I still don't understand the point to drug someone to have sex with them. Like dude. You're saying you're not good enough to be liked with a person sober and woke and living normal.

So that says a lot about a person... That they have no confidence or true love for themselves.

I been for real single in my house for 10 years...having only long distance relationships. I dont feel the need to drug someone to allow them to like me. They either do or they don't.

Im curious as to why they dont but i dont care. Some people just do not get along with others. Its that simple. I don't like plenty of people and to have to explain myself or be pushed around because of it totally pisses me off. I don't like you, simple as that and I'll hate you before I love you.

I see the most problem with criminals is they dont love themselves but usually demand others to while not believing others do... So they beat them.

Its really really sad. Its horrible. How they can't break that barrier to love just themselves. And then turn themselves into unlovable trash that they shouldn't be.

So at the end of the day, if you don't want to be loved. Then i won't love you.

Its the most difficult lesson a person can learn and its the most saddest and heartbreaking. But also the strongest making, most wisdom learning lesson.

And so I can turn off my feelings, my warmth, my caring for someone whom asks me to. Most especially someone whom has or would try to beat it into me.

Life is: Survival of the Fittest, is it not?

If you cannot love yourself, cherish yourself enough to take risks then you cannot survive.

If you cannot believe you are loveable then your actions will cause you to not be loveable.

But yet people like Jesse James and "Tom" don't have a problem with being greedy and asking for more and more and more. Like vampires with empty souls sucking down unicorn blood in the forest like they want to live on a page of a Harry Potter novel.

And so my question is, do i tell him what i know he did to Me? Or does he just want to relish in the delight of what he got away with so that He can devise ways to lie to make me some sort of pawn in his life, someone to use?

Why waste my time?

Friday in about 15 seconds i lost my child support check... While looking for it lost another check for $2.40...Then at the bank moments later literally $5 disappeared from ny hands.

Then the next day i had taken off my shoes in the Wal-Mart wheel chair shopping cart... While wheeling around... Lost my dam shoe.

I didn't even bother to look for it.

And my cat was kidnapped... Then i sent someone to fetch him... "Tom" let him get kidnapped again... Then he got fetched again.... And i have yet to see him... So im like what the fuck? Its been over a week... I tried Thursday night to go ask the neighbors but all the gates were locked...

Then i got this like flue feeling thing where i want to puke all day and all these body aches and I just want to sleep.

And Every thing is pissing me off...

And know why? Cause this curse if u dont acknowledge the dead on Halloween with a fuckking Hello then i get all this bad luck. Happens every time.like excuse me ass holes i deal with you 300 days a year and i can't have one with my kid?!

Its absolutely ridiculous

So id much rather sleep then to decide to care about someone whom has shown they do not care about me.

But is it wrong?

Should I tell him all those hits and attempts at giving me amnesia were temporary and i know exactly who he is and that he's still lying and that I know he was all trying to marry my friend then still get with me?

His dad says that he knew hitting me made me leave so that's why he hit my friend. And his dad says that she wasn't pregnant and that same as at my house it was more all over him than him on her... Unlike when he was with me

And i know i still have a lot of memories that don't fit right that are messed up.

But I know exactly what happened between Sara and Tom according to Sara's words to me. Because that part of my memories have never been affected. Even if i was drinking... Because i didn't drink a lot because i get migraines if i do. Mostly wine coolers or rum and juice...

Plus there was two adult sized male idiots, a seemingly whore type person and then 3 children 2 under the age of 5. So obviously someone who wasn't stumbling and posing a threat to the kids by falling over on themselves had to be present.

I just got drunk enough... So that i really didnt give a shit about all the stupidity I saw in the adults around me. And could say shit like "you know Sara, sometimes you're really dumb. Hes told you like 40 times to get off him and you're still on him So when tomorrow you're all black and blue and he says you tripped going down the stairs and i saw you walk down them just fine, I'm not really gonna care. I mean its not like he told you or anything. 46 times"

But while sober... I would worry why he was so mean to his girlfriend. Why she would always be rejected by him. And why she would allow herself to be treated so horrible. If my friend told me always to get off them, i would feel sad. Sometimes I have had to tell my kid not to touch or lean on me because i have pain... But i try to adjust so that they can... As i have a lot of numb spots next to highly painful areas.

But between Tom and Sara... I felt it was weird,volatile and and dangerous. And they shouldn't be together.

I even asked him once cause Sara would go inside with my ex a lot... Hmmm.. Idc.

"Why don't you like Sara to touch you?" And his face would be red.

And i would say " okay so then when do you like Sara to touch you?" Cause then i would tell her So she could get her affection...

And it was always difficult to get him to talk about himself.. Until for two nights I didn't talk to him and when we we're alone after he kicked me under the table most of the night, all angry in my face why i wouldn't talk to him...

"Oh why because you called me duct tape for 6 months telling me not to talk to you. And then when I did or have tried to "get close to you" as i would a friend, you just sit there all dopey and smile and don't even answer a question i ask you"

You know then sara comes out and says i said he was on dope.

And she denies it...and I'm tired of her being oblivious to every dam thing on the fucking planet. And i straight out accuse them both of being on meth...

And so while trying to faceplant herself on his Dick shes all "we should leave"

So then i throw them out and they both refuse to move. What. The. Fuck.

He claims hes afraid to leave cause she is all dopey on his Dick.... And hes all shes gonna rape m3 and all tries to,hide behind me,touching my body to use me as a shield and tries to jump over the railing of my porch!!! But acts like hes afraid to and asks my permission like 14 times. Dude you're a grown ass man why the fuck are you asking that's dumb. We were on the lower level anyway. Literally 4 steps, including the top.

It always seemed that stupid and annoying.

So i really didn't care when he went to jail, sentenced for 14 months and got out in 9..

Or when on New Year's Eve, i took her and her kids Christmas presents and she hadnt got any of us anything... And I had bought and took her cigarettes and she didn't want to share when i ran out... Or when I said we needed to leave because my kid wanted to go home and she told me that I was being a bad friend because I'm a good mom... Because I was going to leave... Then we went to the bonfire which my kid liked and so Sara said if i wanted to smoke her Winstons... Then i had to go get them and she threw them .... Because she was jealous all her neighbors were talking and laughing with me because i actually do know how to socialize.

And i quit being friends with her that night.

Left .... And every time she text me after i just told her to shut up and fuck my husband....but she didn't know because shes so sef absorbed that 2 months prior I told him i wanted a divorce.

On Thanksgiving.

In front of my uncle....

And so... Still... Should I tell him I think he's a complete ass hole with something to hide or a chicken shit that is making it look like he does.... And allow him to explain himself or not...

Because I a fucking tired of him trying to get into my brain. Hes all hiding. I'm not.

I heard in 4 months he hit me 15 occasions... I used the calculator and it was once every 8 days. I was 16. He was 23.

That enough makes me want to not talk to him. But i also don't want him to be all well that's your fault Sabrina. And blame me all kinds because I gave him a chance. I gave him a 100% chance.

Then when he blew me off more than once,including in DM.. I was all forget you then.... But then when I said i didn't want to fuck him, he lost his Goddam mind. Like dude... So yeah... When were we ever going to anyways when you can't even drive to someone's house? Or set up a date and actually go to it? It was So irrational the way he reacted. What? I'm a cum bucket? Like what he's gonna random run into me at Wal-Mart an pound me from behind in the family bathroom while i hold onto the toilet seat??

Seriously. Hes not rational

So I'm like to tell him what I've been told by th3 dead and what i remember... Its just a waste of effort, isn't it?

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signoraviolettavalery · 6 years ago

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strategist-scientia replied to your post “I know Carina is bringing Malex into the light and I am infinitely...”

Kinda scared now tbh because Carina said "Yes" when someone suggested that Michael is probably reminded of Jesse Manes's hand in causing the deaths of his people whenever he looks at Alex. ��

I hope it’s ok that I use your response as the jumping-off point for some meta, because I’ve been wanting to write this since i saw Carina’s tweets, and the inevitable Malex panicking that ensued. There’s a couple tweets about Michael’s headspace that she made that I want to get into, as I consider where Michael’s character will go next season and what that might mean for Malex.

Now, my immediate response to this is: Yes?? Good?? Carina is saying Michael is going to have a character arc next season, and this is a good thing. Characters need arcs, and frankly, I’ve been frustrated that most of his “arc” this season has just been taking care of other people. Equally frankly, I’m glad that this will be the arc, because Michael is completely traumatized right now. He not only lost his family right after finding them, but he’s witnessed the genocide of his race. I’m glad the show is going to deal with that instead of sweep it under the rug. That’s what Michael s a character deserves. And I know it sucks to put queer characters through trauma and misery and suffering, because it seems like that’s the only thing they ever get to experience in narratives. But in a well-written story, you can’t shield your characters from the world and have nothing bad ever happen to them. There need to be low points in order for there to be development, as long as there are high points.

The other tweet that people have been worrying about is this one, about how Michael will react to Alex and how their relationship will changed, based on the fact that Alex’s family is responsible for literally all of the suffering of Michael’s:

This is where people start worrying that Malex will crash and burn, or that Michael will blame Alex for what happened even though it’s not actually Alex’s fault.

So, first of all, I’m going to point out the obvious: it doesn’t sound like English is this person’s first language (which isn’t a dig at them, but just the observation that there may be a language/communication barrier here). Carina’s “yes” is vague af, and twitter is a really shitty medium to sort-of-but-not-really hint at character motivations and what’s coming.

Moving on from that, my thoughts are that Michael isn’t going to outright blame Alex - after all, Alex didn’t do anything. In fact, Alex has literally shut down project Shepard and blackmailed his father to protect Michael, and if Michael knows about project shepard he knows this. Logically, he understands this. But I do think that Michael will pull away from Alex - just as he’ll pull away from Max, Isobel, Maria, and even Liz. He’s going to need space, and he might get self-destructive in all his relationships, not just the one with Alex, because he’s going to blame himself for what happened. It’ll be difficult to watch, but I think that Alex, who himself has extensive experience sabotaging his own relationship as a result of fear and trauma, will understand where he’s coming from and try to help.

I do also think Michael will have a hard time with Alex specifically. Again, it’s not that he’ll blame Alex, because he clearly didn’t blame Alex for his hand, if his desire to rekindle a relationship ten years later is any indication. But Alex will be a living, breathing reminder of the Manes legacy, which has taken literally everything from Michael, starting with his hand and ending with his family. It’s going to get complicated, because just last episode, Michael was telling Max that he believes that there’s no place for him here (on Earth) - something that Jesse made him believe, and something of which his hand serves as a reminder. And now he has even more proof, painful, heartrending, visceral proof, that there is no place for him on this planet, in the sense that humanity as a whole does not accept him for what he is. And the Manes legacy is largely responsible for this.

But. The irony is that while the Manes family has destroyed his family, his life, his home, and his hope, Alex has been all of those things for him. Alex offered him a home when he had none. Alex told him “you’re my family.” Alex, as Michael said in 1x11, made him believe there’s is a place for him here on earth. Home can be a person, and Alex has been his.

And I think Michael will realize that. If Liz can get over the fact that Max covered up her sister’s murder and was responsible for her family suffering hate crimes for ten years, then Michael can get over Alex having a legacy that he has completely and utterly rejected. But it will take time, because trauma isn’t rational, and because Alex did enlist in the military and become a ��Manes man” before he ultimately chose Michael. So Michael will have to reconcile those two things - what Alex’s family took from him, and the fact that Alex himself gave back all those things to him. Honestly, I think it’s going to be the culmination of the arc that they’ve been planting the seeds of this season - that home can be a person. Michael Vlamis also hinted that Micheal probably won’t be deciding whether to leave the planet this season, so perhaps this will be a decision he’ll have to make next season. Alex will give him the spaceship piece and set him free, understanding that Michael has never felt like he belongs on Earth and that now he feels like he belongs even less, and that his family is responsible for it. And Michael will have to realize that despite Alex’s legacy, which he has outright rejected, Alex is his home.

It’ll be a long journey, but I honestly think it’ll be fine in the end. Think of it this way: ships, just like characters, need arcs. I know we all say we’d happily watch an entire season of them just cuddling in bed, but come on. None of us actually would. We’d like an actual story. That’s why we tuned in. We want to see characters facing challenges and overcoming them. And yes, just like with queer characters, we don’t want queer pairings to just keep suffering endlessly. But we do want them to have actual, meaningful storylines. And what Carina is hinting at above sounds like an actual storyline. It’s Michael working through legitimate trauma instead of sweeping it under the rug, and Alex learning to live with the legacy of his family. If done well, this is a good storyline. The alternative is either no storyline, or contrived relationship drama, and no one wants that. Remember when, on The Vampire Diaries, Damon and Elena finally got together and the writers had to come up with a dozen reasons to break them up (the sire bond, Katherine possessing Elena, Damon temporarily dying and Elena erasing her memories of him and about a dozen other “plots’)? We really, really don’t want that. We want an actual arc.

Of course, how much you believe Carina and the writers will do justice to this arc depends on how much you trust them to actually meaningfully write it, and that’s up to each viewer to decide on their own. Based on my own personal experience, I think it’ll be fine, because whatever the various flaws of season 1 of Roswell (and they definitely exist), the emotional beats have rung true to me. I understand why characters behave the way they do, their fears, their traumas, and their progress (with some exceptions). So, I think we’ll be fine.

Part of the reason I’m so confident is because every other time we panicked because of a tweet, a promo, or a promo photo, we turned out to be pretty wrong to panic. Let’s recap:

1x09 This is the OG throwback episode, and when Shiri leaked that photo of Michael and Maria naked in the desert, we panicked. We thought Michael and Maria would have a full-blown romance and Michael would leave behind Alex and forget about him, or that Maria would sleep with Michael while knowing about Alex, or any number of worst-case scenarios.

What actually happened: Alex ended things, with finality. Previously, he’d walked away - and we’re led to believe he’s done this multiple times, which means that he’s also come back multiple times, because to walk away again, he had to come back first. But now, for the first time ever in ten years, probably, he said “we’re definitely over.” The love of Michael’s life broke his fucking heart by making him believe they could never have a future together, and Michael’s response was literal suicidal ideation. That line about “I’m just wishing a meteor would strike me down and end my suffering”? That’s suicidal ideation, y’all.

So yeah, he hooked up with Maria because he needed comfort and a connection with someone - but one that he was 100% certain wouldn’t get romantically complicated and messy. He picked Maria because he had a connection with her but thought there wasn’t a chance in the world that she’d catch feelings.

And then Alex came back to him and he took him back and bared his fucking soul and revealed every single one of his deepest secrets.

1x11 This was the UFO emporium re-opening episode, and everybody panicked that Michael and Maria would talk and kiss and/or hook up in the place of Malex’s first kiss. Come on, guys. Like, I get panic, but this was a bit much.

What happened instead: Michael misses Maria, who was pretty much his only friend, and tries to get back onto the same page they were (flirty banter that meant nothing), but which is pretty hard to do once you’ve slept together. Michael believes he and Alex are completely over, and....he skips the Emporium reopening (probably because it’s too painful). Then, Maria, the person he pretty much considers his only friend, gets roofied and possessed by an alien serial killer. So yeah, he’s concerned, and he watches over her, because Michael Guerin is, at heart, a protector who takes care of people, and frankly, if he wasn’t worried about Maria, I’d like him slightly less as a person. Maria drunkenly indicates potential feelings for him, which he shows absolutely no indication of actually reciprocating (he looks concerned and frustrated at best).

1x12 We all thought Malex was going to break up in this episode, despite the fact that they were already broken up and Michael thought they were “over.” We knew there was a tear-inducing Malex moment and we listened to Tyler’s song and I saw no end of posts going around saying Malex was going to break up.

What happened instead: Alex confessed his love for Michael, called Michael family, stayed by him in the face of literal certain death, and physically and emotionally supported him during a moment of devastating heartbreak.

So yes, I get the worry. I especially get the worry because apparently The Magicians fucked over their queer viewers just last night. Believe me, I understand, and I’m not a person to have faith easily. I’ve been through Supernatural fandom and the great Destiel queerbait that was season 8. I’ve been through Sherlock fandom and The Johnlock Conspiracy of seasons 3/4. I am intimately familiar with the nonsense shows pull on queer viewers, and I understand the context in which queer viewers are wary of trusting and investing emotionally. I’m a queer viewer as well, and I get it. I really do. But my personal experience of Roswell has been one of the fandom panicking (because we’ve been burned so many times), followed by us getting literal fanfiction on our screens, with actual love confessions and words like “cosmic” and all the tropes. So in this particular case, I choose to trust, because thus far, I think the show has done well by Malex for the most part, and because so far, almost all of our worries have turned out to be for nothing. And I’m also excited for Malex to have meaningful storylines and things to work through.

That’s my two cents. Thanks for letting me ramble. Feel free to reblog if you think we could stand to spread some positivity.

#strategist-scientia #roswell new mexico #malex #roswell new mexico meta #malex positivity #roswell new mexico speculation #malex speculation #michael guerin #character analysis #character arcs #seriously thanks for letting me ramble

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lets-talk-appella · 6 years ago

Text

i’m nobody’s but yours

Chapter 9/25 - Beca

Summary: Beca is straight as an arrow. 100%, totally, completely straight. Except for one problem that 100%, totally, completely changes everything: Chloe Beale.

Title borrowed from Calum Scott’s “If Our Love Is Wrong.”

Word Count: 4k

Rating: M (for dark themes, homophobia, masturbation, and eventual smut in later chapters)

AO3, FFN, and below.

Beca paces the bedroom she shares with Amy, alternating between shaking out her hands at her sides and clasping them together in front of her. Her eyes fix on the carpet below her feet as she circles between their twin beds in a never-ending orbit of anxiety.

Amy hadn’t been in the room when Beca woke up, slightly hungover, a headache forming at her temples, and Beca assumes she’s downstairs eating breakfast with the others. It’s almost noon, so she wouldn’t be surprised if she were the last one up.

If it’s like the morning after any other party, the Bellas are most likely gathered around the kitchen table in search of coffee or some kind of food to soak up the residual alcohol in their systems. They’re probably alternating between laughing and wincing at the pain in their heads, reliving the blurry memories of the night before.

Beca wishes she could erase one memory in particular.

She can still feel Chloe’s tongue on her neck, sending hot spikes of electricity rocketing through her entire body. It had been intoxicating; she’d gotten drunk on it, so much so that she’d lost control. She’d purposely spent more time at Chloe’s neck than necessary, enjoying the way it had made Chloe tense under her lips. She’d purposely taken the lime with more embellishment than needed, and had purposely allowed their lips to meet. It had been a moment of weakness, a moment where Beca had cast aside the wall separating her feelings from her actions.

And as a result, Chloe had run from her.

It had almost made Beca laugh, actually, because it was so atypical. Chloe never ran from anything; running was Beca’s job. But then the awful realization of what Chloe was probably running from hit hard, and shame had rushed in to fill the space she’d left.

“Maybe she’s got to use the bathroom or something,” Amy had shrugged, looking supremely unconcerned. “More shots?”

Beca had done it. She’d taken more shots – though not off anyone’s body this time – with the intention of forgetting the sight of Chloe walking away from her. It had worked, too. She’d danced with Amy, with Stacie, with Lilly for several terrifying moments, and maybe once with Jesse, but she can’t really remember beyond that.

What she does remember – though she wishes she didn’t – is the look on Chloe’s face during their argument yesterday. She hates to call it an argument, but that’s what it was. Chloe’s voice reverberates around the walls of her mind, the Did I do something wrong? echoing in her skull. She tries to cover her ears but still hears it; tries to cover her eyes but still sees Chloe’s fragile expression.

She can hear the sounds of the Bellas downstairs now, even from her attic room. They’re all definitely in the kitchen, and they’re definitely eating, judging by the faint clatter of utensils against plates.

Beca makes another complete circle between the beds.

She’s separate from the Bellas, divided from them by the invisible wall of her secret. Well, divided from everyone except Cynthia Rose. By not telling them, she’s not revealing something crucial about herself. By not telling them, she’s back to keeping them at arm’s distance, always policing herself to make sure she doesn’t slip up and ruin everything. She’s her own jailer, keeping herself hidden away from the people that matter most in her life because it’s too risky to tell them.

There’s so much pressure building in her chest that she feels she’s going to burst open at any second. She just knows it. She has to be on her top game when she goes down there, or the smallest question – something as innocuous as “how’re you feeling?” – is going to break the dam and make her spill everything in a torrential outpouring of truth.

It would be easier to hide it. It would be safer. It would be simple to go on as is. She’ll have to move out at the end of the summer anyway, and then she can start over. The others would never have to know. It would be so, so easy to never tell them.

But… Beca pauses in her pacing, the pressure in her chest mounting by the second, soaking into her lungs and weighing her down. Would it really be easier? Pretending to be someone she isn’t?

The idea of having to restrain herself for much longer, of holding this secret within, exhausts her from the inside out. If the internship had been hard to hide for a year, hiding this aspect of herself and her identity seems impossible for even another week.

Cynthia Rose’s voice drifts through her memory, then: They’ll support you. Those aca-bitches’ll joke about it, but they’ll support you.

Hiding the internship from them all had been a mistake. She’d spent almost all year in anguish over it, only for them to be completely okay with it. Hell, more than okay – they’d wanted to hear more about it.

And why wouldn’t they? Beca spun to face the door, heart racing. They’re her family. Why wouldn’t they love and support her, no matter what? After the internship fiasco, didn’t she learn that she can tell them anything?

Maybe even this. She should be able to tell them this.

Before she can change her mind, Beca forces herself to her bedroom door. She sees her hand turn the knob and watches herself – as if from floating above everything – pick her way down two flights of stairs. She’s both absent from and trapped within her own body; her head feels filled with helium, and yet, she’s hyper-aware of the leaden pressure steadily building in her chest, the anxiety twisting her innards, the sweat forming on her palms, and the quaking in her legs.

In an instant, she’s in the kitchen. As she’d thought, everyone is already gathered there; Chloe, Stacie, and Jessica at the stove preparing a breakfast of pancakes and eggs, Ashley and Emily managing the coffee, Flo working on toast, and Amy, Cynthia Rose, and Lilly sprawled at the table. At the sight of them all, the pressure in her chest grows to a roar and the dividing wall constructed of the secret separating her and them feels more solid than ever. As soon as Beca steps fully into the kitchen, nine pairs of eyes swivel to land on her.

Beca tries not to think too much into the fact that Chloe’s looking at her like she always does, as though last night hadn’t changed a single thing.

(She fails.)

“Morning, party animal!” Amy greets, raising her hand for a high-five that Beca has to lean over to reach. “Survived the shots?”

“Yeah,” Emily adds, looking concerned. “You really danced a lot last night. Did you pull anything?”

“I didn’t know you could bend like that,” Stacie purrs appreciatively, her eyes roaming down Beca’s body. “Something to keep in mind.”

Chloe has turned back to making the eggs, her face hidden from view. Yet, she’s the one Beca speaks to when she clears her throat.

“Can I… can I talk to you guys?”

Her voice is scratchy, but she hopes they’ll chalk it up to the night of heavy drinking and sleep, rather than nerves and the suffocating grip on her lungs. As soon as she asks, the mood in the room shifts; Stacie’s and Emily’s smiles drop, and Chloe turns back to look at her, eyes questioning.

“Like… in the living room?” Beca continues, gesturing weakly to the couch. For some reason, she feels like this should be a more formal announcement than something that would occur over the gentle sizzle of cooking pancakes.

“We’re already here,” Amy whines, setting further into her chair. “Are you gonna make us move?”

“Uh –”

“Spit it out,” Flo urges, putting more bread into the toaster and pulling the lever down to start it.

Beca stares around the room, feeling trapped. Chloe doesn’t say anything, but watches her carefully, looking concerned. Cynthia Rose takes a sip of whatever is in her mug and stares at her over its rim but doesn’t give any sort of indication of what she should do.

“I… okay,” Beca starts, now hearing the roaring pressure in her ears. “It’s just… you guys know how, well, when there’s something that you kind of know, but you don’t want to know, so you just deny it until you can’t anymore? You know?”

She receives nine blank stares in return.

The dam in Beca’s chest cracks.

Chloe sets down the spatula she was using to make the eggs. “Beca, what are you –”

The dam shatters.

“I like girls,” pours from Beca’s mouth, flooding the room. “I’m… into girls. Too, I mean. At least, I think it’s ‘too?�� I’m not really positive on… the logistics…” her voice trails off into the silence of the room. They’re all just looking at her. It’s unnerving. Beca waits with bated breath, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Chloe gapes at her, eyes slightly unfocused, lips parted in surprise. Unable to bear it, Beca forces herself to look elsewhere. Cynthia Rose is smiling at her. Emily’s jaw has fallen open. Amy takes a sip of her drink, eyes wide. Panicking slightly, Beca wonders if Amy will ask her to change rooms or something, to avoid being around her.

The toast pops up in the toaster, startling them all and shattering the spell.

Flo moves first, turning back to pull the toast out. “Okay,” she says, and then it’s like the air is restored to the room.

Amy shrugs, throwing the rest of her coffee back. “Okay.”

Ashley and Jessica nod, then turn back to their respective tasks.

“Aliens have no sexuality,” whispers Lilly.

“Okay,” says Stacie, flipping a pancake.

“O… kay?” asks Beca.

“Yeah Shawshank,” Amy replies easily. “With the way you talked to that German woman, that’s not the surprising part.”

Chloe frowns at that, but Beca has to do a double-take.

“Wait, then… what’s the surprising part?”

Amy grins. “That you finally admitted it.”

Beca blinks, unsure whether to be offended or to laugh. Stacie smirks at her, while almost everyone else nods in a way that can only be described as pitying.

Chloe hasn’t said anything.

“Wait,” Beca says slowly. “So... like, it’s cool?”

Emily grins at her brightly. “We love you, no matter what!”

And for a second, Beca’s back with her mom, wrapped in a hug after an elementary school breakup or being comforted after watching her dad walk away. She feels safe, and secure, and so loved that it makes her want to cry.

“I… yeah,” she chokes out, trying not to let anyone see the sting in her eyes. “That’s really… yeah.”

She inhales deeply as everyone returns to their breakfast chores, feeling like she hasn’t breathed properly in weeks. The pressure in her chest is gone, and the final walls separating her from her family dissolve away to nothingness. Just like that, with only a few words falling from her lips, everything is okay again.

Beca looks around at all of them, the people she would do anything for and can tell anything to, and suddenly she’s regained that sense of family she hasn’t had since she was 16.

She tries not to think about how Chloe hasn’t said a single word.

***************

Beca doesn’t plan on staying the night after the Treble party. It just sort of… happens.

The party crowd starts to thin out around 2:00 am, either from people leaving or from passing out on the floor thanks to Amy’s latest, and terrifying, concoction of random alcohols. Ordinarily at this point, Jesse would ask Beca to stay the night, and she’d say no. Then, she’d attempt to round up her Bellas so they could make their way back to their own house, either for more alcohol or for water, snacks, and bed.

Tonight, though, is a little different. Tonight, when Jesse asks her if she wants to stay the night, his expression hopeful, she hesitates. They’ve been dating for almost sixteen months. He’s been asking her to sleep with him for the last twelve of those. He’s never pushed her when she says no, and he’s never sulked about it. But he keeps asking, and it’s starting to make Beca feel like a bad girlfriend. It’s starting to make her feel like there’s something wrong with her that she doesn’t want this as much as he does.

Beca’s eyes land on Ashley and Chloe as they attempt to corral Lilly, who is currently playing with a lighter. They won’t notice if she doesn’t come back with them and will probably assume she already went back to the house. A few feet beyond them, Stacie locks lips with some random frat boy, wrapping one leg around him and likely already promising him the night of his life. She makes it look so easy. She makes sex seem like the most casual thing in the world.

Tonight, Beca hesitates when Jesse asks, thinking of how long he’s been asking and how easy it would be and how no one else seems to make as big of a deal of sex as she does. For a split second, she wonders if Chloe has hooked up with anyone lately.

She feels herself nod yes.

Jesse’s face turns into a mask of surprise that’s borderline insulting. A quick, “Are you sure?” flies past his lips and she says that yes, she is sure, and then he’s grabbing her hand and leading the way to his bedroom at top speed. He’s so eager that she trips a little going up the stairs, and she has to take a second to assure him that no, she isn’t drunk (she’s only tipsy) before he continues to guide her up the stairs and away from the rest of the party.

For reasons she can’t explain, she hopes Chloe hadn’t seen.

As soon as his bedroom door locks behind them, Beca’s world becomes a blur. He’s kissing her, then undressing himself, then her, and sucking at her neck as he guides her to the bed. She tells him it’s her first time, and he pauses before nodding and resuming, more slowly. She sees him reach for his bedside drawer, watches as he pulls out a small, crinkly package. The sight of the condom makes her stomach flip violently.

It’s not what she’d thought it would be. He tells her she’s beautiful, kisses her breasts, and once even kisses her between her legs, but it feels like a pretense, a perfunctory opening act before the main event. She doesn’t like being naked in front of him. It’s stifling, lying under him. It’s uncomfortable, and borderline painful, having him inside of her. It doesn’t feel bad, exactly, but it doesn’t really feel good either. She finds herself more focused on helping him, dragging her hands down his back and allowing him to push into a regular rhythm until his body shudders above her and he gasps into her ear.

After, she lies staring at his ceiling, her mind flying and her chest constricting. He’s already snoring, sprawled on his back beside her without touching her. She doesn’t want him to touch her.

There must be something wrong with her. That’s the only explanation.

She’d lied to him, when he’d asked if she’d climaxed. She hadn’t even been close, though he’d done everything right. She knows the first time isn’t supposed to be the greatest for a girl, that it’s normal, even expected, for the guy to finish but not the girl. Despite that knowledge, she still feels that she must have messed something up. She’d barely felt a thing the entire time; surely, that can’t be normal. People talk about sex like it’s the best thing in the world, and she isn’t particularly interested in having it with Jesse again for a while.

There must be something wrong with her. She must be so broken inside, from her past, from not letting anyone love her for the longest time, that she is incapable of feeling anything.

She knows it’s not Jesse’s fault. He’d gone slow enough, he’d communicated, he’d tried his best to make sure she was comfortable. It’s not his fault. It can only be hers.

Beca presses the heels of her palms into her eyes, trying to calm herself before he hears her crying.

For reasons she can’t explain, she hopes Chloe won’t see her come home in the morning.

***************

Beca reclines on her bed, trying to quiet the unease chipping away at her insides. She’s pretty sure she’s suffered worse nerves over the past two days than during all four years at Barden, which include countless Bella performances. It’s ridiculous; is she going to feel like this every time she has to come out to someone?

The phone in her hand seems like it’s getting heavier by the second, and she wonders if Amy had started putting nickels into the case or something like Jim does to Dwight in The Office. But, no. She knows it’s the weight of what she has to tell her dad and Sheila.

She doesn’t particularly want to tell them. She’s still not that close with her dad, and Sheila… well.

It just feels like something that she’s supposed to do. She’s told her ex-boyfriend and her closest friends (which are her real family), but it seems like she should tell her father, and, therefore, his wife. Doesn’t she kind of have to tell them, now that she’d told just about everyone else?

She presses “call” on her dad’s contact icon before the nausea can get any worse.

He picks up after two rings. “Hello? Beca?”

“Yeah, hi – Dad.”

Silence fills the line. She’s only recently started calling him that again, and she thinks it still surprises them both when she does it.

“So, uh, what’s going on?” he asks, skipping the small talk neither of them is any good at.

Beca closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. “Um, I –”

Shelia’s voice appears in the background, muffled but still clear enough for Beca to make out what she’s saying in that awful, nasally voice of hers. “Warren? Who is it?”

“It’s Beca,” her dad replies, but Beca’s only half-listening.

Which of them is the girl in the relationship? I thought you liked boys? Did you see the new ad with the two brides? Disgusting, I can’t believe they show that on TV where a kid could see. I don’t know why the whole thing about gay marriage is such a big deal. It’s been illegal for this long, so why bother changing anything now?

“Sorry, kiddo, what?” Warren asks, speaking over Sheila’s past comments.

Beca reopens her eyes. She hates it when he calls her that. Kiddo. He called her that before he left.

“Um, I just – I thought I’d let you know I’m not moving to LA.”

There’s a beat of confused silence – she can picture the bemused look on his face. It’s the same one he used to give her in high school every time she tried to explain how much music meant to her.

“Did something happen?” he asks.

“Yeah, uh, Jesse and I broke up.”

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. Did you do – did he do something?”

Beca grimaces. She almost wants to congratulate him on that save.

“It wasn’t like that,” she says instead. “He – we just aren’t suited.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

Another pause.

When he speaks again, his voice is cautious. “So, is Chl –”

Someone knocks on the closed door of her bedroom.

“You know, I have to go,” Beca says into the phone, already rising from her bed.

“Um –”

She ends the call, gets up from the bed, and places her phone face-down on her desk. She only takes a second, another deep breath, before moving to the door and opening it to see Chloe’s tentative smile.

“Hey,” Chloe greets.

“Hey.”

Beca wonders how much of that phone conversation Chloe heard before knocking.

Chloe had been the only one not to say anything when she’d come out.

“Are you –”

“Is that –”

They speak simultaneously, both cutting themselves off when the other talks. Chloe giggles at it, and the awkward tension eases.

“Want to come in?” Beca asks, moving aside.

Chloe nods and steps forward into the room, moving to sit on Beca’s bed without being prompted. Beca closes the door behind her, trying not to think about the fight that had happened the last time they’d been shut in a room together. She turns back to Chloe and, after a moment of indecision, sits at her desk chair rather than joining Chloe on the bed.

Chloe smiles shyly. “You go first,” she says.

“Um, right,” Beca says quietly, looking down at the floor. There’s the ghost of pressure back in her chest, fleeting, vanishing before she can really think about it. “Just, is it, you know... okay that I’m, like... into girls?”

Chloe startled laugh makes Beca look up from the floor. A second later, Chloe’s lifting her hands in apology. “No, sorry, I didn’t mean to laugh,” she apologizes. “It’s just – I mean, it’d be a little hypocritical if I wasn’t okay with it, Bec.”

My biggest regret is that I didn’t do enough experimenting in college.

“Oh, right,” Beca huffs, rubbing the back of her neck awkwardly as a sort of embarrassed relief creeps up her neck. “I just – I wasn’t sure.”

“Of course it’s okay, Bec,” Chloe insists, her expression earnest now, as if to make up for laughing. “You’re you, and nothing will ever change what you mean to – nothing will change that,” she finishes in a rush.

“Thanks,” replies Beca, not sure what else to do. She studies the floor for a moment, before remembering that Chloe had come to her bedroom for a reason, presumably.

“What were you going to say?” she asks, tilting her head.

Chloe looks down at her hands, clasped in her lap. “Oh. Well. I was just going to ask…”

She trails off, and Beca waits with bated breath. Her stomach lurches with the sudden possibility that Chloe might know, might be about to ask if Beca’s liking for girls extends to her, and Beca’s really not sure how to answer that because she can’t lie but she can’t risk destroying the most important friendship she’s ever had and –

“Is that what… I mean, yesterday?” Chloe continues. “Like, the weirdness, or whatever? Was it about you liking girls?”

“Oh,” Beca exhales, hoping Chloe can’t see how relieved she is. “Yeah, that was… it was that.”

Chloe nods thoughtfully, looking marginally happier.

“Yeah,” Beca elaborates, wanting Chloe to understand. “I was just figuring it out, and I’d told Jesse and broken up with him, but I didn’t want to tell other people yet because I – because I was scared,” Beca finishes in a quieter voice.

Chloe frowns at her, eyebrows drawn together uncomprehendingly. “You were scared?” she asks.

Beca hesitates, then nods uncomfortably.

“You didn’t have to…” Chloe begins. “There’s no reason to be scared about this,” she says, looking at Beca like she’s never fully seen her before.

Beca squirms a little in her chair, unused to being scrutinized quite like this. Anyway, she disagrees; there are more reasons to be scared than not to be scared. She has too much to lose to not be scared.

She shrugs and replies, “It’s just hard.”

It’s more than ‘just hard,’ but she doesn’t want to get into it now.

“I suppose,” Chloe concedes, still watching Beca closely. Then, she sighs and her expression clears. “Well, I’m glad you told us now. Thank you for being… thanks for trusting us. It doesn’t change a thing,” she promises, eyes wide.

Beca wishes it could have at least changed one thing.

“Yeah,” she replies, “and… thanks. For listening, and for… yeah.”

Chloe smiles at her then, her signature Chloe Beale smile that is so warm and familiar and so Chloe that it makes Beca forget about everything else.

“You wanna grab ice cream or something?” Chloe asks with a wink, rising from the bed.

Beca grins back. “You know it,” she agrees instantly, standing from her chair. “If I ever don’t want ice cream, then you know I’ve been replaced by an evil clone or something.”

Chloe just laughs and reaches for her hand, and Beca doesn’t pull away when their fingers link together. She only feels the smallest twinge of guilt – which she immediately shoves down – when the contact with Chloe’s skin makes her heart speed up.

She’s still got one secret from Chloe, but at the moment, she doesn’t care.

#bechloe #bechloe fic #my writing #beca mitchell #chloe beale #pitch perfect fanfic #i'm nobody's but yours #chapter nine #wow 9 chapters already #brief amounts of Jeca in a flashback

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yessoupy · 5 years ago

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annual writing self-evaluation (2019)

i. Optional if applicable: link to last year’s self evaluation:

here’s the 2018 eval!

1. List of works published this year (in the order that they were posted):

your skin makes me cry (the walking dead, daryl/jesus)

yellow (harry/reader)

and.... that’s it!!!! yeesh.

2. Work you are most proud of (and why):

Not that I have a lot of works to choose from, but I’m genuinely proud of YSMMC, my very first longfic. I put so much into that fic and actually FINISHED it. And I’ve re-read it a few times top to bottom and STILL love it. It��s probably my favorite piece of my writing ever.

3. Work you are least proud of (and why):

I like them both, lol. But I guess I can say I wished I’d been able to write more.

4. A favorite excerpt of your writing:

I re-read YSMMC on the plane so I could do this. This is my favorite passage, from Chapter 16 (warning: scene is explicit, and why I’m cutting the rest):

Daryl felt him, all over, from the tips of Paul’s hair slipping over his shoulder to brush against Daryl’s chest to Paul’s hand grazing up over his ribs and up his good arm to intertwine their fingers… “You feel fuckin’ amazing,” he groaned, clutching Paul’s hand.

“Shut up,” Paul hissed, hips stuttering and hand clenching tight.

Daryl swept his free hand down Paul’s side and on around to his ass, pulling him closer. “That an order?”

“That’s a ‘shut up or I’ll come before I get to fuck you like I want to.’”

“I make you feel that good?”

“Fuck. You have no idea, do you?” Paul panted, pulling out all slow and gentle, making Daryl’s toes curl and his eyes squeeze shut when he thrust back in. “Hottest thing I’ve ever seen, you lying here for me. You hear those sounds you’re making? Like you can’t help it, like what I’m doing is just what you need—”

“That’s right—” And it was, more than he’d thought it could be, a return to what he’d been denying himself, or maybe wasn’t ready to give himself, for all this time. He blinked open his eyes and Paul was right there. “You’re right,” he breathed.

“Shut up,” Paul repeated, eyes soft and full of something Daryl knew how to name.

“Shut me up,” he ordered, letting himself feel it instead of naming it, taking the moment for the rest of what it was—Paul inside him, finally, like the final piece in a thousand-piece jigsaw puzzle he was afraid he’d lost pieces of. That’s right, he thought, eyes rolling back as Paul took him in hand. That’s right.

5. Share or describe a favorite comment you received:

@gaydaryl left my favorite comments on YSMMC over on AO3. I’m reposting all of them because it felt like everything i had consciously tried to do and put into daryl’s character was getting picked up and appreciated. 😍 v affirming [spoilers ahead.... lol]

on chapter 18:

this entire fic is like a warm hug and makes my entire body get the weak gay tremblies!!!! desus's dynamic is so good the entire way through and also daryl having had a husband before and it never being a point of contention and paul getting it and talking about jesse with him... god. it's so beautiful

also i've always been a sucker for "asshole but trying to be a good brother" merle characterization, and this Hit The Spot

i love this !! so much!! i can't wait to see the rest

chapter 19:

OH MY GODDDDD this was MORE than worth waiting for it's BEAUTIFUL i LOVE this fic their complete faith in each other is so good. and daryl's line about negan losin to TWO? SEXY OF HIM

chapter 20:

this fic the entire way through felt like such a breath of fresh air. having daryl be confident in his being gay, having had a long term relationship before, the absolute softness with which you wrote it all... it's so good. i loved it so much and it's one of my fave fics ever, i think, because the characterization is so utterly perfect and feels so real. thank you so much for writing it!

💜💜💜

6. A time when writing was really, really hard:

That last chapter just did NOT want to get figured out. Didn’t help that I was heading into the worst mental health of my life. And then after I finished that fic in September, I ... stopped writing. I’m only just now getting to a place where I can imagine again.

7. A scene or character that you wrote that surprised you:

Reader, lol! Yellow came from a dream I had and the feel of it wouldn’t leave me so I had to translate it into words somehow. It only made sense to write it from that point of view, which was not one I ever thought I’d find a use for.

8. How did you grow as a writer this year:

From last year’s: “It’d be great to actually have the ability to write something long. I feel like the ideas I have are for short pieces.” I 100% accomplished that. I feel much more comfortable writing explicit scenes, although they still take so much more effort than basically any other isolated scene. 😩

9. How do you hope to grow next year:

I want to contribute to more fandoms. I have been nudging along at a timestamp for YSMMC, I’d like to write more in-universe TWD (not canon, because Fuck Canon is my refrain for like, everything), I want to venture back into Star Wars and positively contribute there, and of course baseball!Harry. Maybe even... Prodigal Son? Who knows! the Chappy/Olson from 2018 needs a sequel.

10. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

For the second year running, @chasm2018. My go-to beta is not as comfortable with helping to improve explicit scenes and Hannah volunteering to not only offer help with those but also the rest of the fic... invaluable! Couldn’t have done it without her. And I definitely owe her baseball!Harry.

11. Anything in your real life show up in your writing this year:

Anytime you see something about a character being insecure in some way about their queerness, that’s me. an example, from your skin makes me cry:

There was a rainbow flag tacked up over his desk. Daryl had known because of what Rick had said when they were out for drinks, that Paul never tried to hide and managed to avoid any bullshit about it because he was so good at his job, but it was another thing to see those bright colors just out there for everyone to see.

“Problem?” Paul asked, a hard edge to his voice.

Daryl had been caught staring at the flag. Fuck, now Paul probably thought he was some ignorant hick homophobe. “No, ‘course not.” He cleared his throat. “Me too. Nice to have some company, ‘s all.” He wanted to punch himself, wanted to slink away out of sheer embarrassment. He hated every time he had to do this. In his head he knew that Paul wouldn’t think less of him, but he couldn’t help but think he didn’t exactly look like he belonged with all the other people who could put rainbow flags up over their desks. Only places he ever felt like he really belonged was out on his bike or in the shop. Only places he felt like he belonged anymore, anyway.

Paul didn’t say any of the worst things he could have said. Daryl had heard them all from well-meaning people who didn’t realize how all of those phrases cut him in different ways. “Oh, I could tell,” was just as bad as, “Oh, I never would have guessed,” if for different reasons. Paul just smiled and said, “Thank you for telling me.” Then they walked together the short distance down the hall to Eugene’s office where Paul told him to let him doing the talking.

12. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

Same as always: write what you want to read. And don’t be intimidated by the writing of others. :)

13. Any new projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

I left Poe and Marek alone for ANOTHER year. I keep opening those docs and poking at them and now with the sequel trilogy done maybe I can shape them up.

#meme #writing eval #2019 writing eval #my fic #fic excerpts

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