#definitely noticeable and it's nice to see. That said... I still like the season 2 art style more? And I'm speaking strictly of art style.

[saurongorthaur9]

The funny thing is, even if a kiss happens between Hal and Gal, the antis will say that “it's not romantic”, “they're not in love”, “it doesn't mean anything”, “it's manipulation” and blah blah blah

I have noticed some recent conflict in the fandom over what exactly Sauron feels for Galadriel, and I don't want to insert myself into any of that. That being said, I do agree that what Sauron feels for Gal is complicated. I think there is love and there is obsession and probably other things that can't be boiled down nice and neatly into any one emotion.

With that preface, Tolkien actually talks about how Sauron's underlying driving motive is love. Love of order. Love of beauty. Love of perfection. He even says that in the beginning, these things were Sauron's virtue. Morgoth was a being driven by a nihilistic hatred for all things that he could not control and corrupt, but Sauron was driven by passionate love for Middle-earth and the things therein, and this was actually the core difference between them.

Of course, though we know that Sauron's love (as Mairon) started out as something good, it was quickly twisted into obsession to control what he loved. And eventually, when he was not allowed to control it, it twisted into hatred just as passionate as his love had been.

I love that we're actually getting a microcosm of that with Sauron and Galadriel, and I think how Sauron feels about Galadriel is very Tolkienian, given the above passages from "Morgoth's Ring" that I referenced. I think at the beginning, Sauron-as-Halbrand's love for Galadriel was actually pretty genuine and as pure as it could be for a being like him. He connected with her (genuinely, I believe), he admired her, he found her beautiful, and he saw a kindred spirit within her. And I think those were all pretty wholesome feelings.

However, we've already seen those feelings begin to warp into obsession to possess and control. We saw it even by the end of Season 1, when we saw how manipulative and angry he got when Gal rejected his marriage/partnership proposal. We're definitely seeing it in Season 2 with his creepy, possessive behavior towards Mirdania in the last episode.

I think over the course of the series, we'll see Sauron's love become a darker and darker thing, more and more obsessive, more possessive than a genuine connection: mirroring how his love for Middle-earth fell into something dark and twisted. By the very end of the series, I could even see Sauron coming to hate Galadriel - much as he comes to hate Middle-earth - because he can't possess or control her, but I think it will still be an obsessive hatred that is, in part, a love gone terribly wrong.

All this is to say, I think the best characters are complex characters. Is Sauron in love? Yes, I think he is. Is he also manipulating Gal? Yes, I think he is. Is his love something dark and controlling and possessive? Yes, I think it is. These are all things that can co-exist. The one thing that I do vehemently disagree with is that "it doesn't mean anything" or that Sauron and Galadriel's connection doesn't mean anything to Sauron. I think it means everything to Sauron. And if there is a kiss, I think it will be an extension of that. At least, I would hope so.

[sskk-manifesto]

Bungou Stray Dogs: Dead Apple and how “ability users” (opposite to “normal people”) learning to accept themselves through the acceptance of their own abilities is a queer metaphor of acceptance of own's sexual orientation and gender: an essay by me

[katzske]

Thoughts on Earthspark Season 2 (first half)

Spoiler Free:

I must admit I’m dissatisfied.

The animation and rendering definitely looks cheaper. Sometimes it feels like frames are missing, animations not polished, scenes not fully rendered. 2d and 3d poorly blends. It’s quite noticeable unfortunately. Characters also do the TFP Megatron stare now.

That being said, time was taken to revisit old models of characters and give them a new appearance. (4 i’ve noticed) It makes sense given a lot has changed during one year time skip.

The writing often feels either like exposition dumping or naruto filler episodes. I was never at the edge of my seat even during the climax. I ended up skipping through episodes due to the lack of relevant plot information.

Something ES managed to maintain were carefully composed shots that make great still images. While that’s nice for screenshots and redraws, I also feel like it’s the only unique aspect of ES’ animation style that remained. The rest, as previously mentioned, has lost quality.

Character Details I’ve noticed and want to talk about (spoilers ahead)

half of season 2 part 1 is filler. optimus trailer episode, great america with cosmos, a pachycephalosaurus-truck fighting mushrooms, hashtag taking ten years to dispose of hard drives…. each episode did have a few minutes of either cute or important moments. but the majority is a waste of time.

I was hoping that we would learn more about the decepticons. now that they’re free, what are they up to? how are their dynamics? how did season 1 finale change their perception on things? would they try to convince the terrans THEY are the good guys? nothing like that though.

There is no satisfying character development for starscream. ES Starscream was perfect to explore a more neutral version of him, who does not do bad things out of pleasure, but due to necessity; following his desire to be free. In the show he mentions he wanted to get rid of his oppressors (in his eyes autobots and humans), but a real “bruh” moment was when he told Hashtag the only reason he opened up to her last time was to tell her “take care of yourself first”. It completely disregards the fact he came to help in the season 1 finale after reflecting on Hashtags words. It also aggravates me that the writing could have been a very easy fix. “hey i’m not being selfish by destroying this town. im doing this for the decepticons, we have lived under the control of the autobots and then of humans. this needs to stop, we deserve freedom and i will do anything it takes.”

the show managed to establish some friction between starscream and shockwave but for deception standards it was very tame. overall i think it was written okay; he purposely let the Terrans escape with the fragments, and he bailed on Starscream once he went bonkers. I hope that he gets to be a Decepticon leader in the second half; i don’t think we have seen that in any TF TV show before. i also like that his antennae and eye color give away his emotions now.

i feel like the autobots are treated even worse than the decepticons this season ngl. they merely exist; and when they do have the spotlight it’s often for comedy.

why the fuck did shockwave not wait for hashtag to just dump the hard drives and leave. if someone walked up to me yelling “give me your trashbag” as i’m trying to dispose of it i’d be weirded out too lol.

i hope the chaos terrans don’t return. aftermath imo was, plot wise, redundant. spitfire at least was interesting and had an impact.

i wish there were more interesting fights like in season 1 instead of, oh no they’re hitting the trailer with sticks, oh no we are an abomination of dinosaur and vehicle for what feels like 15mins straight. i miss seeing soundwave slay.

[lafrexniere]

It was and is You - CL16 - part 2.

Note: Here's part two, part one link-> part 1

Saturday

You had set an alarm that morning to make sure you didn’t miss your “morning coffee”. You had assistance from your three friends in choosing your outfit and helping you get ready. Allie did your hair, Liv did your makeup, and Mila chose your outfit.

“Can we please meet him,” Mila begged.

“Don’t ruin this for Y/N, you know how she is about guys,” Liv said. Your last relationship of three years ended in the middle of your last season putting you in a slump. It had been a year and now here you were with this guy who you clicked with instantly. 

“Yeah, but she needs our help, right Y/N?” Allie said slyly knowing her full intentions.

“Okay the last thing I need right now is you fan girling over him while we are just trying to get to know each other,” you said, “Maybe just maybe in like an hour after I’m down there you can possibly join me for breakfast when he has to go,” hoping to ease their eagerness, it seemed to work.

“Yes! See she does want us Liv,” Mila grinned. You rolled your eyes looking at the time seeing a message light up on your phone.

Charles: We are still good?

You: Yes heading out now 😄

“I have to go,” you said swatting their hands off of you. You took one last look at yourself in the mirror, grabbed your purse then dashed out of your room. You got on the elevator expecting it to stop on his floor and it did. You looked down then back up to see the brunette enter the elevator.

“Hello again,” he smiled.

“So you were the driver my friends are obsessed with, it was you, that explains the mystery,” you said.

“It is me,” he shrugged. The elevator door opened and you made your way to one of the tables in the lobby ordering your coffee and espresso. The two of you began talking, finally getting to learn more about Charles and about your shared interests. You both were athletes with crazy travel schedules, you both played an instrument, and you both agreed that after this weekend you would stay in touch.

“I want to make a deal with you,” he grinned.

“Oh what am I getting into,” you teased, knowing that it would end up with you being happy.

“If I place top five today we can do this again tomorrow, even though I prefer to take time to myself the day of a race, because I would like to see you again,” he said.

“And if not?” you trailed off. You were distracted hearing giggles coming from the elevator area, you looked up to see your friends watching you from a distance back. 

“Y/N?”

“Oh my god I am so sorry, I am so sorry,” you whispered over and over again as you watched your friends walk over.

“Hi Charles,” Mila said running her finger along his shoulder, “I’m Mila,” she said batting her eyes.

“And I’m Allie,” she said doing the same.

“And I’m Liv,” she said giving both of them a stern look.

“So this is the famous girl group I have heard about,” he laughed. You put your head in your hands embarrassed.

“I’m sorry,” Liv mouthed to you. You rolled your eyes knowing this would happen. You watched Mila and Allie compete in trying to woo over Charles and he was nice about it he played along, but always continued to look at you and talk about what he knew about you. Your friends went to a different table waiting for you to join them once Charles left. He looked at the time and noticed it was time to leave for qualifying. His car would be outside in moments to pick him up. 

“So will I see you after again?” He asked standing up. You stood up with him,

“Yes definitely,” you blushed. He opened his arms to hug you, you wished him good luck with a hug and went back to your friends table to share only the important details of your date.

“So you agreed to the deal right, he has to finish in the top five it’s Monza!” Mila said.

“Can we please come again, but we won’t flirt,” Allie begged.

“Oh please, you can’t help yourselves,” you said. 

“Hey I held them back,” Liv said. You nodded at her thanking her for her efforts. You continued discussing and telling your friends to back off. You texted Charles under the table apologizing once again for what had happened.

You: I am so sorry again, they can be a lot sometimes 🫣

Charles: Stop worrying I’m fine, besides they could have done worse

You: I guess so, but don’t let what happened this morning distract you

Charles: If anything I feel more ready after talking to you

You smiled and your friends caught you texting.

“Y/N stop it’s girls time,” Allie whined. 

“Jealous?” you smirked. As time went on the four of you got ready for qualifying and made your way to the track. The drivers came on the track making their way around the track competing for times. At the end of the hour Charles had not only finished in the top five, but the top three. Your friends all jumped and screamed for joy rushing down to the spot where you would meet Charles after. After moments of waiting you saw him, once again your eyes met through the crowd, it helped that you were in the front this time. There were tons of voices yelling for him around you but you remained silent knowing he would make his way over to you. As he approached you, the butterflies bubbled in your stomach, you felt your face heating with each step he got closer to you. He reached out his hand to you over the barrier you were waiting behind. You took it,

“Do we still have a deal?” you asked.

“Oh we have a deal,” he said firmly pulling your hand to his shoulder, you hugged once again infront of this large crowd. You could feel the weight of all the pictures being taken of you by all the girls around you.

“Talk to you later,” you grinned pulling out of the hug. He winked and went on to signing and taking pictures with the other fans around you. You and your friends ran off shouting bye. The four of you went out for dinner once again debriefing.

“Y/N you have to see this,” Allie said flipping her phone around. You took her phone scrolling through seeing tons of pictures of you and Charles all over social media.

“Y/N your famous,” Liv smiled.

“Oh please remember us,” Mila laughed. You looked up this media on your own phone and sent it to Charles.

Charles: So they are calling you the mystery girl

You: It’s not going to take long before they figure out who I am, we exchanged medias they can find me through yours

Charles: Is that a problem?

You: No, but are we… well what are we?

Charles: You will have to wait until tomorrows deal 😏

You rolled your eyes putting away your phone for the rest of dinner. The three of you made your way back to the hotel, still discussing you being Charles’ mystery girl. You texted him a quick good night ready for your coffee date the next morning once again. You drifted off to sleep having a dream of tomorrow’s race outcome, little did you know it would be a dream come true.

[wanderingblindly]

WanderingBlindly Fanfic Masterlist:

Lando Norris/Oscar Piastri

By Touch (1.6k words, onshot)

Oscar's fingers shift, reaching for Lando's wrist and moving them both. "The hardest thing to learn, I think," Oscar starts, voice barely audible over Lando's heart, his shallow breaths. "Is letting yourself feel." Delicately, like one would touch the wings of a butterfly, Oscar ghosts Lando's fingers across his cheekbone. He's soft, as if the pink under his skin is a gently unfurling rose petal after spring rain.

Oscar Piastri's (Full Homo) Guide to Fucking Your Boyfriend (10.3k words, 1/2 Chapters)

"Has my girlfriend ever kissed a guy before?" Oscar's eyes move to Lando's lips, lashes fluttering gold in the setting sun. Girlfriend. His mind goes silent, lips parted and eyelids heavy. It feels... nice. Hearing that. It feels good, even. Like Oscar's claiming him, possessing him. Girlfriend. He whispers back, feather-light. "No." Oscar looks back up, catches his eyes. "Do you want to?"

Lando Norris's (No Homo) Guide to Getting a Girlfriend (10k words, oneshot)

"Bet I could teach you." Oscar's eyes snap back to his, wider than the time Lando suggested they go skydiving in the off-season. "Teach me –" "The Lando Norris guide to getting laid." Oscar pulls a face. "That's not –" "Getting a girlfriend, then." Lando amends, holding up his largely-empty glass in cheers. "Cheers to not being a virgin, mate."

We're Not Really Strangers (4.1k words, oneshot)

"Fine," Desperate to move away from his increasingly not PR-friendly train of thought, Lando snags another card. "What's the first thing you noticed about me?" "Your eyes." Oscar freezes as soon as he's said it, mouth clamped shut and brows raised – shocked. At himself. Or: Lando and Oscar play ice breakers for a PR video, what could happen?

Impasse of Biting (12.5k words, 2/2 chapters)

"Maybe it would be good for you, something like this." Lando looks away from the espresso machine, over at Charles. "Like what?" "A vampire." "Charles," Lando breathes out, leaning against the back of his workstation and crossing his arms. "I've told you, it's not..." it's a me problem. He's the one that can't seem to connect to people, he's the one that's not noteworthy enough to want.

Too Close to Touch (2.3k words, oneshot)

"Sit up," Oscar groans, aiming for a more demanding tone than he can gather with Lando's mouth sucking lightly at his neck – not enough to bruise. Lando makes a noise in response, petulant and determined, that makes Oscar's head spin. Like he's addicted to him, unwilling to let go. Like this isn't some fucking insane bet that they made during the driver's parade. Or, Lando and Oscar make a bet: how important are hands when it comes to kissing, anyways?

It'll Pass (5.7k words, oneshot)

"Don't wanna win if you're not there." Lando says, pinkies still intertwined, looking Oscar dead in the eyes. He says it like it's common sense, like it's a normal thing to say to a teammate. Like it's not the closest Oscar will ever get to hearing I love you. "Promise." They let go.

Watch Me (5.5k words, oneshot)

It's half seven, and just like nearly every other day since he's moved in, his neighbor is in his bathroom – poorly concealed by the frosted glass window that's not nearly as frosted as it should be. He's standing on his toes, bending over his sink to get closer to the mirror, clad in next to nothing but short, black briefs. His eyes roam higher, heartrate spiking when he sees it, just like every other time he's seen it: Oscar's neighbor, a seemingly unmated omega, wears his collar. At home. Alone. When he's wearing next to nothing else.

Time After Time (3.k words, oneshot)

It's him, it's definitely... him. But it's him from years ago, narrower in the shoulders and more uncertain in his smile. He recognizes what he's wearing, remembers agonizing over it for the better part of an hour with George and Alex, both laying on his tiny dormitory bed with eager eyes. It's their first date.

Late Nights (1.3k words, oneshot)

Oscar leans forward and rummages through the bag, nabbing a pair of chopsticks and an unopened container. "Want me to stay?" Lando's heart sinks; has he been home late so often that Oscar would offer? "Babe, it's really gonna be a late one, I can't --" He talks around his mouthful of noodles. "I don'mind."

Someone in Seattle (11.6k words, oneshot)

“Could I, like… would you be my model for it? Maybe?” “That’s what the coffee was for then?” “No, that was, uh.” He can feel his face heating up, skin undeniably turning a deeper shade of red under Lando’s gaze – mirthful and a little something else. “That was different.” “Gonna say what?” “No.”

Keep Talking (2.7k words, oneshot)

Closing his eyes, pulling a deep breath in through his nose, Lando lowers himself to the floor – sitting directly next to Oscar’s spread knees. “Yeah?” Oscar asks, voice already softer – leading. He’s still sat casually against the sofa, looking down at Lando with warm, understanding eyes. Lando nods in response, eyes fluttering closed as he lets himself lean against Oscar’s leg, rubbing his cheek against his sweatpants.

Nouveau Hot (3.5k words, oneshot)

Lando’s hand moves faster, the knot in his stomach growing tighter with each stroke, each flick of his wrist. Easy muscle memory, it should be enough but — “Need you, need you, need you now, I- Osc, please I -oh fuck,” He’s rambling, the words spilling out faster as he desperately chases release — hips fucking up uselessly into his hand. “That’s too bad, isn’t it?”

Lando v Media (1.2k words, oneshot)

He’s very aware that fucking his teammate isn’t exactly the best PR move he’s ever come up with. And he didn’t need to be told that, to be clear. Though, to be even clearer, he was told that – Jon made quick work of pointing it out, as did the HR representative, as did the PR representative, as did Andrea. But again, he was already aware, so that all felt really excessive.

Bite Down (Show Me How) (1.2k words, oneshot)

“I’m a virgin, by the way.” Smooth start. Oscar, to his irritating credit, doesn’t even look at him from his spot, leaning casually against the elevator wall. “Yeah?” He turns his head, giving Lando a look that makes him realize he’s not the one in charge here. “Wanna do something ‘bout that?”

You Bring Me Closer to God (9.7k words, oneshot)

They’re still close enough to whisper, Lando’s hand holding him in place as he grins wildly. “You like it rough, Osc?” He doesn’t even care if it’s just a bit, just Lando’s stage persona washing over him like it does all his fans. Looking up at Lando, looking at the lipstick he smeared across his cupid’s bow and chin – it’s like he’s seen god. Felt it on his lips, tasted it on his tongue. Oscar grabs him by the nape of the neck without a second thought, pulling them together just as viciously as the first time. Or: In which Lando is a very slutty front-man for a small band seeking their big break, Oscar is an enamored bartender, and Jenson's bar brings them together.

Hot Pink Ring Pops (Would You Marry Me If I Was a Worm?) (4.2k words, oneshot)

“Oscar isn’t ever gonna marry me if I’m a worm, Jon!” He laments, the words uneven and jagged as he sobs (which, Jon realizes, can’t be good for whatever injuries he’s possibly sustained from the crash). Somehow more importantly, what the fuck did Lando just say?

Is It Gay to Watch Your Teammate on Tiktok? (Asking for a Friend) (12.3k words, 2/2 Chapters)

He’s sitting on the bed, dinner long since picked at, with his knees pulled up to his chest. He feels close to hyperventilating. It’s playing on loop, some sappy little edit captioned “i need to find someone to look at me the same way oscar looks at lando”. And really, who the fuck was going to tell him that Oscar smiles at him like that? 

Mortifying! Anyways, (2.3k words, oneshot)

Mortifying interaction, but he’d survive. Besides, it’s not like the cashier was that cut– “Cute enough to make you stupid, huh Norris?” He could hear his smile before he saw his face, a proper Cheshire grin. “Fuck off mate,” Lando groaned, already trying to scrub the cashier from his brain. Except for the Australian accent, he decided; that bit could stay. Maybe his eyes, too, as tired as they had seemed. And his hair, which looked so soft in that kind of ridiculous side part.

If I'm Barbie, and You're Barbie, then Who's Driving the Bus? (814 words, oneshot)

Anyways, the driver room is largely quiet at the moment. But not entirely, much to Lando’s enjoyment. Buzzing from Oscar’s headphones, loud enough for Lando to hear the words, is a song from Barbie. Charli XCX, no less. 

[poppyplate]

minor season 5 spoilers for lmk!!!

(some sketches + my thoughts on the new season :0)

this season was so good!! i'm gonna put my long rant about my thoughts below, just cause i have a lot of things i wanna talk about :3

animation: ik the animation change was jarring for some people and i did almost cry about flying bark leaving the show when the news first dropped, but i honestly think wildbrain did a great job and the animation is still super cute and fun. it's definitely different and you can tell, but they still do all the silly animation things that flying bark did and this season honestly had some of my favourite humor (visual and otherwise).

i'll definitely miss the old animation, fully hand drawn 2D animation is becoming harder to come by in cartoons now so it's sad to see this show lose one of the most exciting aspects of it, but i'm looking forward to seeing how wildbrain does in the following season(s?). i'm honestly just glad we're getting more monkie kid content.

plot: i did enjoy the plot they set up. this season did feel different pacing wise? if that makes sense. not that it's necessarily bad i just noticed it felt a bit different. i'm really excited to see more about this whole chaos thing.

ik li jing wasn't necessarily a villain, but he was an antagonist for a bit so i'm adding my two cents about him and nezha. i didn't love what they did with their story arc, but ik there's only so much that can be done in a 10 episode season where each episode is only 10 minutes long. i think their arc would've just benefited from more time :(

villain(s): i think the nine headed demon is such an interesting character (even though he did confuse me a bit) so i hope we get to see more of him. probably my favourite big bad so far personality-wise.

main characters: i'm glad sun wukong had more screentime this season!! he always either isn't around or gets trapped, so it's nice that he was present again.

i definitely felt this season focused a lot more on the monkie trio, which was bound to happen, but i like them so i was fine with it. idk how much of a redemption arc macaque is trying to have, but i kind of hope it's not a standard redemption arc. not that i didn't enjoy macaque's character this or any other season, i do like him most of the time. i just personally hope they keep him as more of a neutral figure even if he does stick around with the group.

i don't have much to say on mk that hasn't already been said. i love the guy and i hope he gets to be happy again soon T^T

side characters? ig: i thought mei and red son's episode was cute. i love dragonfruit interactions a lot, but i do hope red son gets some more screentime next season cause i miss him </3

i am happy sandy got some more screentime though, his episode with mk was cute. also tang was so real this season, he's just like me fr (i hate manual labor).

other notes and whatnot: this season felt shorter somehow, even though it wasn't and i'm not sure if we'll be getting a special like we always do or if they're just going to move on to the next season. either way, i'm excited to see where it goes from here.

although i wasn't in love with the ending of this season, it just felt a tad rushed and i definitely think we would've benefited from a few special episodes again.

i'd give this season a solid 8/10. i would love to go through all the episodes and share my thoughts on them, but i'm just gonna share my ranking of the episodes.

(i feel pretty even with 1-2 and 3-5)

1. collar the king

2. temple of the goddess

3. the cage

4. sacrifice

5. strings that bind

6. into the pagoda

7. claim to flame

8. harbinger

9. the storm within

10. festival fugitives

[mikesgaylittlethoughts]

'when blue and yellow meet in the west' pt.2

I reached the image limit in the first post so season four will need it's own post.

First part is here!

⭑ Season 4:

Ah, yes, the lying, hiding and miscommunication season. This should be great.

El's outfit at the start has a lot of red, but still with some blue. Mike isn't around now, and she's being mostly true to herself at school, but that's the issue. People are mean as hell and don't like her for who she is.

She wants so badly to be seen as normal, to live the life of an ordinary girl, but even now she's seen as weird and unusual. At least one sweet detail i noticed is that the flannel she's wearing might have been Joyce's.

I also find it sweet how red has been incorporated into Will's outfits, too. It happened a few seasons back, and it's a nice detail considering how undeniably close he and El are.

Mike's in his Hellfire shirt. With El away, he doesn't feel the need to perform so much anymore, and feels more free to actively enjoy his interests and be himself again.

The day Mike came to California, El was, once again, wearing mainly blue.

And then there's.... Michael's outfit....

Mmhm. Yellow over purplish blue. This is the outfit for the awkward ass airport hug, and the entirety of Rink-o-Mania, until they get home.

After his s3 realizations, he went straight back to repression. Acting totally weird around Will and forcefully happy around El again.

While Mike wears yellow, Will wears blue.

Oh, also, the flowers Mike picked for El had "too much yellow", and "vomit green socks".

Mike's fight with El here is a super important scene to mention. He's wearing mostly blue with just a few yellow accents, but he's still lying to El, isn't he?

Oh, he's lying, alright. It's just not working.

El isn't running with it like usual. She's crying, confronting him about not being able to tell her he loves him and Mike's trying to convince her but even then, he can't say it. Eleven can see right through him. And the yellow... Well, I think we know why Mike can't say he loves her.

The monologue scene is the same case. About 0% of what he said in it was true, but El knows that. That's exactly why it didn't work.

This is when the pink starts showing up again, but there are still layers of blue to remove before it's free.

Mike and Will switch back to their respective colors again, and make up from their previous fights. Will wears blue and yellow, and Mike wears that blue shirt with that godforsaken sideways pocket.

These are the outfits they're forced to stay in for the rest of the season cause everything goes to shit afterwards.

Throughout the season, El sheds her blue layers, until finally, she's all pink.

She realized she doesn't need him and they're definitely going to break up next season. She's finally free and will finally get to be herself without molding her image to fit into what others think she should be like.

Now it's Mike's turn to free himself.

────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──────────

Okay, that was a lot! Once again, thank you @62percentmaplesyrup for all the help !!! I'll leave her posts linked down here if you guys wanna look for yourselves, it's a super interesting detail.

Here and here!

If any of you actually read through all of this, i really appreciate it. I worked on this for days on end lmao.

anyway byler endgame stay gay losersss

[footiehoemcfc]

We'll be Alright pt. 2

Okay so I was able to finish this part yesterday, I definitely think it will have four parts MAYBE 5 (only if I have time to make it longer) but i'm excited for you to read it! I was going to wait until I came back to post it but when I get back I have lots of stuff to do so bare with me for part 3 I promise it won't take much longer than a week. Thankyou for all the love on the first part :) Angst fic, tw none, 2.1k words PART 3 is on my masterlist!

The whole car drive back home was horrible. You started letting your thoughts get to you. Were you too dramatic? Was it too much to let all that out while he is struggling as well? Should you just suck it up and let the season end before talking about this? Maybe. However, the conversation escalated very quickly and before you know it you just let your heart out. When you got home, you thought of calling your best friend, but you didn’t. The last thing you wanted to do was recall everything that happened. You took everything out of your overnight bag, got showered, did your normal skin care routine and feel asleep with your headphones on listening to sad music. 

The night before you didn’t even bother to check your messages to see if Mason had asked if you got in okay. You were hoping he would text you today at least. You opened your messages and nothing, nothing from him at least. Sophia had texted you asking what your plans were for the weekend suggesting having a drink today at the new rooftop bar. You had nothing else to do at night and staying at home dwelling on what happened did not seem like a good plan. You agreed and put your phone down, ready to continue with more work stuff. You had to admit, it hurt that he hadn’t texted you. It sting you, normally if you guys would bicker or argue he would always text you something reassuring, but then again you said you were done. Did you mean it as a breakup? Not really, but how would he know.

Mason on the other hand did not get any sleep at all. He replayed your argument over and over again. He knew he fucked up, but he knew you were also right. All these big decisions, he hadn’t thought through them carefully yet. It kind of bugged him you knew him like the back of your hand. He knows you know how he feels just by simply looking at him. Since he was injured and it was game day, he decided to just stay home and watch the game there. He had meetings with other agents in the morning and his mom was coming over later in the day. Watching the game he thought about texting you, but he didn’t know if you needed space or if you were even together still. He didn’t text, opting for giving you space for the weekend. 

Mason heard the front door open and saw his mom come in. Still on the couch watching the game, he got up and greeted her “Hi mom” with a smile, a sad one. “Hi darling” Debbie said smiling and hugged him. He noticed she stared at him for a little bit and knew she could tell something was wrong. You and his mom had that in common, you could read him so easily. “Why didn’t you go to the bridge today?” “I had a meeting 30 minutes before kick off and would not make it in time, also thought it would be nice to stay in”. They both sat down on the couch and continued watching the game for a little bit until Debbie spoke again “I thought y/n would be here today, where is she, how is she?” she asked smiling. You and Debbie had a great relationship and Mason loved it. You would always have coffee dates and in big family gatherings you would always stick with her because it felt more safe. Mason stopped looking towards the tv to respond, “Yea she’s alright, she’s home busy doing work stuff” “My gosh that poor girl works all the time, last time I saw her she said it was taking a toll on her” “Yea I know”. Mason didn’t know what to say. After last night, the only thing he could think of when he thought of you was the fight. “Mhm” “What is it” “Mason Mount, I gave birth to you, do you think I don’t know you?” Shit. He knew she could sense something was off. I mean if he was going to get advice on his relationship, he never thought his mom would be the first option but here they were. “It’s nothing, we just had a bit of an argument last night” he placed the remote down on the table, got up to make some tea. He knew his mom would not just be satisfied with that, he knew she would be here all afternoon interrogating him so the tea was necessary. Mason and his mom talked about it, for a while. “Listen darling, I’m your mom and I won’t tell you what to do in your relationship. You two work together, and lately you haven’t and that is not a crime. You two are allowed to fight, to make mistakes, to get annoyed, however, in a relationship you owe it to each other to try and fix it and make it work. Give her space, trust me she is probably thinking about you too. And as with the contract, honey whatever you decide to do will be the best option, but make sure it’s what you want.” Mason felt a lot better talking to his mom. She really understood him and having spent time with you too, she knew you would appreciate exactly what she had said. 

It was 9 pm and you were just finishing getting ready to go out with Sophia. You had worked all day so had little to no time to think about Mason. You knew it would come up tonight. Sophia was one of your best friends and whenever both of you had issues with Mason or Kai you were there for each other. You ordered your uber and just as you were about to leave, Mason texted you. You opened your messages to read, “Hi my love, I wanted to give you space today and I knew you had a lot of work so that’s why I didn’t text sooner. I know it’s weird between us right now but whenever you’re ready to talk I’m here”. A wave of relief hit you, you wanted him to text you, so you knew it was not over completely. You didn’t want to answer yet though. The uber arrived and got in it to go to the bar. When you arrived, Sophia was already there. She greeted you with a big hug and a kiss on the cheek. You loved nights like this, were you and her could talk about online drama, funny TikTok’s you saw and just catch up on everything especially since you had not seen her for a while. It was nearly 11 pm, you had no idea where time went by. “When should we do it then?” Sophia asked. Both of you thought it would be a good idea to spend the weekend at the Soho farmhouse, mainly her but you weren’t sure since you didn’t know when you and Mason were going to be good again. “I don’t know, maybe next weekend” “Yea we’ll have to check with them to see how their scheduling is. And we should also tell Chilly and his new girl, I met today at the bridge she is very sweet you will like her.” “Great yea, the more the merrier” you said smiling. “Okay it’s been two hours, I’ve been holding in asking you because I thought you would already tell me but what’s wrong?” You sighed knowing you had to remember everything form yesterday and tell her. You told her everything from the fight, to work to family issues and to how you were feeling. “Babe, why didn’t you tell me you were feeling like this?” “I don’t know I feel like I don’t even have time to think about myself”. The mix of alcohol and remembering last night made you tear up a bit. Sophia hugged you, “I know its tough now and yea he fucked up but I am 100% sure he already knows. I feel bad for him too because he is going through a lot too. But you guys are a couple, partners, boyfriend and girlfriend. You two just need to talk. You already told him how you felt, he needs to tell you how he feels because I’m sure he has been holding it in too. You two will get through it I promise.” You looked at her with a sad smiled and hugged her tight. 

You arrived home at 12 pm. Before falling asleep you decided to text Mason back, you knew he would be freaking out since you hadn’t responded. “Hey, I kind of figured. I feel like we both need time to think, but I love you and we’ll talk when were ready” he responded very quickly with a heart and an “I love you too” which put a smile on your face. You knew he was eager to see you and talk to you, so were you but you were right you both need time. You need to think about how to manage work better, your family and how to fix things with him and make him open up to you. He needs to think about how to open up to you, think about his future and think about the upcoming games and prepare.

4 days had passed since that night. You were busy with work still, but you were finding different ways to handle it and asked your boss for more help on the projects you were assigned. Mason had been doing some light training. The conversation he had with his mom put him at ease and made him think about the whole situation better. Your conversation with Sophia also helped a lot and it gave a new perspective on this whole thing. During these 4 days without seeing each other both of you had time to think, and you were still texting each other simple “Hellos” or just casual conversations. But it was not the same as before and it hurt both of you. Both of you just wanted to go back together to how it was. It hadn’t even been a week but it felt like torture. 

After coming home from work, you saw Sophia’s close friend story. It was a picture of her two dogs in Mason’s backyard. Weird, she would’ve told you she was seeing Mason. You didn’t think too much about it and hopped on the shower. Once you were done you checked your phone and had multiple messages. Sophia had created a group chat called “SOHO”. Fuck. Well that explained why she was at Mason’s house, they were probably planning the weekend with Kai and Chilly. If they really wanted to do it soon, it meant you and Mason would probably still be in a weird place. Sophia sent a message saying, “Okay I just added Ben and Alix, I made the reservation for this weekend Friday through Saturday so we should leave all together early in the morning to spend the whole day there and leave like 5 pm Saturday?” Everyone responded with thank yous and yes. This Friday? So, you had what, two days to try and talk to Mason? It was not going to be possible. You were trying to finish everything during the week from work so you had the weekend free and had to visit your family so seeing him would be impossible. Would it be awkward to see him until Friday and act as if nothing happened? Maybe. But you had no choice really. As you were finishing reading all the messages form the road trip, Mason sent you one “Will you be able to go?” you started typing “Yes I can go, although I won’t be able to see you until Friday”. You plopped your phone on your bed and finished getting ready for bed. When you came back to lay down on your bed, Mason had already responded “That’s okay love, I’ll see you Friday. I love you, we’ll be alright.” That melted your heart so much. It made you more confident in how you two were dealing with this little break if you can call it that. You replied with an I love you too and went to bed. 

The rest of the week you continued grinding out at work, trying to finish everything so you had nothing to worry about while you were away. On thursday you were able to visit your family, which was something you were dreading. It turned out to be surprisingly nice, and you felt better about the whole situation. You were very optimistic about the trip, you thought it would be a good idea to have some time just with Mason during one of the two days. You started looking at it in a better light now that you had kind of solved two big problems in your life, now you had to solve the most important.

[kakiwrites]

the eventful internship

Genre: fluff??

A shuntarou chishiya x reader

Warning: manga/season 2 spoilers!! This story is tied to chishiya's backstory so please look away

Synopsis: shuntarou chishiya is the most interesting person on your first day of internship. Why was he always smirking? Why did he always hang back and stay far from the others? Why does your heart beat out of your chest when you see him?

a/n: GUESS WHO'S BACK!! I have chishiya fever bcs of that stupid trailer with our lovely boyyyyy!! So here, have this little intern romance fic! Sorry if the pacing/flow is wonky, i’m a bit rusty-

They say the first day is always the hardest.

You've always wanted to be a doctor. It's been your lifelong dream. After how many years of med school, you were finally able to get an internship at a hospital in Tokyo. To say you were nervous would be an understatement. It was your first day. Anything can happen. Your hands were shaking and sweaty as you entered the hospital, excited and anxious to see the place you'll be staying at and meeting your fellow interns.

Surprisingly, things were going smoothly. You introduced yourself to your fellow interns flawlessly. Your resident was nice and showed you the ropes, and your rounds were silent. The patients were understanding and nice. There wasn't really anything noteworthy that day. 

Well, there was someone.

You took notice of a long, blonde-haired man who stood in the back of the room most of the time. Chishiya, the other interns called him. He kept his distance from the group, always wearing some sort of smirk on his face. It was interesting, to say the least. Why was he always smiling like that? Did he think he was better than everyone else? Is he actually better than everyone else?

You wanted to learn more.

So you decided to ask the other interns about him. "oh, chishiya?" one of them asked, subtly gesturing to the blonde male for confirmation. You nodded your head at them. "He stays a step behind everyone, but you'll be surprised he's already answering the resident's questions and giving diagnoses without a hitch. He always has this smirk on his face and," the intern shivered. You assumed the cocky look on chishiya's face flashed in their mind. "I don't know. He's just so intimidating. You should stay away from him,"

You knew you should've listened. They've been with him for longer than you have. but you couldn't shake the growing feeling of wanting to get to know him. You wanted to talk to him, see what he's like with your own eyes. 

That leads you to your current predicament, you and Chishiya standing in the back in silence while you watch the resident perform a couple of tests on a patient.

You wanted to start a conversation with him, maybe a hello and introduce yourself but his dead eyes were fixated on the procedure in front of you as if he didn't notice your presence lingering beside him.

You glanced at him from time to time. Maybe he was just a passionate guy, absorbed in the lecture. Maybe he was just ignoring you, not wanting to deal with the curious, naïve fresh meat or maybe-

"you should keep your eyes on the procedure instead of staring at me, newbie," chishiya said, his brown eyes still fixed on the resident's movements. His tone was just what you expected,  light and mocking. With his hands stuffed in his white coat and his smirk never leaving his face, his whole demeanor gave off a sort of superior vibe. He felt like he was above everyone else. With that confidence, he just might be.

You didn't know if you were more intimidated or interested.

You opened your mouth to apologize only to be interrupted by the louder voice in the front. "so, can anyone tell me the next step of this exam?" the resident asked, their eyes scanning all the other interns who diverted their gazes to avoid being called. Those eyes finally landed on you. Your throat felt dry as you watched the resident open their mouth to call on you. You definitely weren't paying attention. What was the procedure anyway? Can you just make up your answer? Maybe you can answer it with common sense. You quickly try to remember what the procedure was and its previous steps but came up empty. You braced yourself for your first embarrassment of the day.

Before your name could even leave the resident's lips, the tall blonde beside you spoke up, the air growing light as he recited the next few steps in great detail. It was like he was reading it straight from the textbook. He was just repeating everything from the top of his head.

Wow, he really was above everyone else.

You only realized you were staring when Chishiya turned to look at you, his smirk growing wider and his stance growing taller, it was like his ego was growing every second you kept your eyes on him. "am I really that interesting?"

You were taken aback at the question. "wha-"

"You've been staring for quite a while. Can't take your eyes off me?"

You feel your cheeks heat up. He just saved you from humiliation, and you had the audacity to stare at him like he was some kind of painting. You tried to explain yourself, but the words kept getting stuck in your throat. Chishiya laughed at your struggle.

Before you could say something, your group began to head off to a different area for your rounds. Chishiya followed behind them, leaving you in the dust as you tried to regain your thoughts.

What the fuck just happened?

You quickly scrambled to catch up to the group. You glanced at Chishiya once more. He must’ve felt so cool with his antics earlier. You wanted to tell him off. You wanted to to tell him that showing off his knowledge was unnecessary, that you could've handled it, and that his cocky, high attitude is why the other interns are so afraid of him. But you couldn't bring yourself to do that. So you went with the next best thing.  "sorry… for causing you trouble," you apologized, keeping your gaze on the floor. Chishiya didn't bat an eye at your apology, seemingly ignoring you.

"I'm (y/n) by the way," you said, wanting to change the subject. Chishiya only chuckled at your attempt.

"if it'll get you off my tail, I'm chishiya," the blonde said, not even glancing at you. "now, let me tell you something, newbie," he stopped in his tracks. You looked up from the floor, confused. What did he just call you? You stopped to look back at him.

"the name's (y/n)-"

"right, I don't care," he brushed it off, swatting the air carelessly. "why don't you waddle back to the other interns and stuck-ups, listen to the resident, and finally leave me alone, yeah?"

Chishiya took a second to savor your stunned expression before heading off to catch up to the other interns.

The next few weeks went by like a blur as you were swamped with new patients, more paperwork, and more interactions with Chishiya.

Despite his words on your first day, he didn't seem to mind your presence when you chose to keep standing beside him in the back of the group.

After that close call with the resident, you vowed never to embarrass yourself like that again. You kept close attention to what they were discussing and made sure to hit the books every once in a while. You were able to answer a handful of the resident's questions before Chishiya could even show off.

"looks like I have my work cut out for me," Chishiya muttered with that same sing-song tone once again after you beat him to the punch. You turned to glance at him. He was sporting his usual smirk. Only this time, you can see a notable scrunch on his brow, his eye twitching in annoyance.

You would do anything to see that frustrated expression again. 

And so the rivalry began.

To other interns, you and Chishiya had been as close as ever. You would be seen sitting at the same table together, studying, talking to one another in hushed tones, and standing next to one another as you took turns answering the resident. In their eyes, you were the new dynamic duo. If one of you were there, the other wouldn't be too far away.

Everybody wanted to have what you have.

If only they knew what was really happening.

What looked to be innocent study sessions were actually heated quiz bees where you placed a set amount of time on reading as much as you could from the textbook and then rapid-fire questions at one another until the timer ended. Whenever one of you gets the answer wrong, which is rare, the other would gloat hard.

"pfft," chishiya chuckled mockingly at you, watching you struggle to answer his question. "it's such an elementary question, newbie. Here i was thinking we were equals,"  The timer on your phone was close to 0 but your brain doesn't want to recall the answer.

"i'm trying, okay?" you said, frustrated. Your alarm hit 0, the beep irritatingly loud in your ears. You looked up from the table to see chishiya smirking at you, amused by your failure.

"dear (y/n) can't even remember that the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell?"

"IT WAS ON THE TIP OF MY TONGUE OKAY?"

The hushed whispers were actually just the two of you taunting and annoying one another. At first, it was hard not to let chishiya's teasing remarks get on your nerves, but with time, you could start living with it.

"aww, you couldn't even get a word in earlier~" you said, nudging him as you walked to your next patient.

Chishiya could only snarl at you as he silently continued walking, not wanting to give into your teasing.

He retaliated by speeding and leaving you in the hallway, where you proceeded to get lost for the next thirty minutes. 

Finally, What looked to be simple acts of chivalry were actually the two of you fighting tooth and nail to answer the resident first.

"you bitch, I know this. move," you said confidently, shoving chishiya out of the way to be seen over other interns’ shoulders. That method seemed to work as the resident called on you and you recited your answer.

 You were shocked to see the resident shake their head. "ah, but you're missing something, (y/n)," the resident pointed out, looking around for any other hands wanting to answer.

You could feel chishiya's amused stare burning holes in the side of your head as he slowly raised his hand and got called.

With his grating, teasing voice, he answered the question. The resident greeted his answer with a smile and a confirming nod.

You weren't sure why the other interns want to have what you have.

Maybe they wanted someone to annoy them every second of the day. Maybe they want the privilege of getting an academic rival.

Or maybe they want to experience the unintentional touches, the longing gazes, and feel their heartbeat quicken when he gets close.

You dismissed that last thought. That was what you felt. Chishiya would never let himself feel that way, right?

Right?

You didn't want to take any chances. You needed to ride your feelings out before they get worse before chishiya catches on and gets affected.

Before he uses your feelings to his advantage and breaks your heart.

So you did what you thought was best.

You started to distance yourself.

Instead of standing next to chishiya during your rounds, you chose to stand in front of the group. Instead of bugging him like you usually do, you kept silent and avoided his questioning gaze. And Instead of barging into his little bubble during your breaks, You chose to sit at a different table this time, leaving him alone with his textbooks and notes.

It didn't take long for chishiya to catch on.

He didn't know why but he felt empty without your teasing smiles and your soft voice. He felt empty without your nudging and your competitive spirit.

He felt empty without you.

Your plan of avoiding him was short-lived, however when Chishiya pulled you out of the group and into one of the quieter hallways.

Chishiya could only let out a soft, irritated breath. "mind telling me why you stopped bugging me?" he asked. 

"Maybe because I want to stop bugging you?" you answered with common sense. That wasn't the answer Chishiya was looking for.

"that's the thing," Chishiya said, annoyed at your answer. "you always make it a point to bug me one way or another. You stand next to me in the back every day even though I specifically told you not to. You sit at my table and insist we study together when I can study just fine on my own. You always start bickering in my ear, and it just annoys me to no end-"

"If you're annoyed, why are you looking for answers? I'm already leaving you alone; isn't that enough?"

"I want to know why. Why did you suddenly stop? Why now?"

You crossed your arms over your chest. Should you tell him the true reason why you were distancing yourself from him? how your heartbeat begins to quicken every time he gets near? How your breath hitches every time he smirks at you?

Should you tell chishiya that you fell for him?

You finally looked at the blonde man in front of youu, looking into his expectant brown eyes. You willed yourself to open your mouth, to spill your thoughts, your symptoms, your feelings. You willed yourself to tell the truth.

 only to be interrupted by the loud crackle of fireworks and the bright hospital lights suddenly turning off.

CLIFFHANGER WOOP WOOP- sorry if the ending seems a bit rushed. I've been working on this piece for a while and I am honestly running out of writing juice- sorry if this isn't on par with my normal writing- I'm still a bit rusty! Hope you guys enjoyed!!

General taglist (don’t be shy to comment your tumblr @ below): @tokyoghoose @macaronnv @reogou @midnightangelfox @wumboho @seiijixcia @tessabrown101

[idolish7imagines]

Hello! I hope it's okay to request how TRIGGER would show their jealousy for a S/O who's friendly and caring to everyone? Thank you in advance!

TRIGGER would show their jealousy for a S/O who's friendly and caring to everyone

A/N: Sorry this took so long! I hope you enjoy it!

.::.

Gaku Yaotome

Gaku takes great pride in you being his s/o, practically everyone's darling around the company of both his coworkers, staff and friends

everyone except his sometimes, apparently.

He's 100% for you to be independent and having strong relationships with others, being dependable and all that. But he can tend to get...possessive for lack of a better term.

He knows he's special to you, thats something in which his confidence would never wain, but he does need his alone, quality time with you. It helps him recharge especially after a long day.

As much as he loves that you're always present and there for both his and your own friends, he's still not above blurting out his needs that you should take a break from tending to everyone else and do something chill with him, like watching a movie or going for a drive.

His schedule was already hectic in certain seasons, so quality time is important to him as it is

It doesn't happen too quick at least, he'll give at least a 2 week grace period before his arms wrap around you from behind and he practically begs you to not leave and go do something besides being at his side.

With that said, its pretty easy to recognize when he's jealous.

Even if he's on good terms with the person, there's a painfully particular frown he gives when you're talking to them and he's been left out while standing by.

One thats easy for people that aren't you to spot as well, which has led to much more teasing than he'd be willing to admit.

Though the good part is that after his bouts of jealousy he feels the need to make up for lost time by taking you to an expensive dinner to remind the both of you how exclusive your relationship is

Kujo Tenn

Tenn is conflicted

He once had an impulsive thought to take you out more, but all his ideas would greatly interfere with his schedule, at least the ones that he feels would be enough to consider quality time

Sometmes he feels like you belong to everyone and not just him; which isn't necassarily bad, in fact he can relate, always trying to please his fans over his own needs and wants

The fact you're so kind is part of why he fell for you. Even when he had his moments where other people would consider him cold, you were always nice and understanding towards him

But that doesn't mean he won't pout like an annoyed cat when he sees you mingling at small parties and even with his other group members while leaving him in the background practically.

At times he's even petty enough to excuse himself from the room while pretending he has something better to do (though he usually comes back at realizing he's being a tad childish)

Once you notice he's jealous he'll ignore you a bit as 'punishment' but all you have to do is pet his head or let him rest it on your lap and its like he's reset and all is forgiven

He won't go as far as wanting to have you cut contact with the person at least not verbally but you can tell when he'd prefer to have your attention more

Alternatively you can buy him sweets and he'll be a little more content

but he definitely wants to go on some kind of date with you. Maybe two for good measure. Of just you and him, whether its something a bit more outside like going to the amusment park or just spending the day in each other's presence without taking any other calls (unless its for work)

Tsunashi Ryunosuke

Ryunosuke is not a jealous man. He trusts his s/o 100% (which would be a catastrophe if his judgement of character wasn't astute before dating someone)

Though it'd be a lie to say he didn't still go through his bouts of loneliness when its been a while since he's seen his fellow group members or even you due to his schedule. He wants to be happier when you tell him about the other things you've done, but ends up having a bittersweet taste in his mouth after hearing it.

It moreso makes him feel bad that he can't control his emotions getting the better of him, rather than directing it towards you.

And so, after realization, Ryuu figures the best way to cure it is to try and catch you the next time the both of you have enough free time to make your relationship feel special again. Easier said than done though.

Unlike Gaku, he wouldn't ask for much in terms of spending time with you alone. Just a night spent at either of your homes, making dinner or even ordering in and watching something and talking.

Weirdly enough, his other friends notice faster than you his feelings about the matter. He still looks at you fondly when you aren't looking back, but its different.

After a few attempts at denying when being asked about it, he'd finally admit that he'd been missing you

Even if the person he's jealous of is in vicinity when they hear that its pretty hard to be upset with him when he puts on such a genuinely somber face

Ryuu tries not to make a big deal out of it, assuring that he's fine with whatever you choose to do with your time

(which, obviously you'd spend more time with him)

[gobs-o-dice]

Dice Set #203: Glacial Moonstone Silver (Green)

Okay, so, you might have been wondering (to the extent that anyone is paying that much attention to things here), back during Sets 197, 198, and 199, why there was no "Winter Solstice" set. And you might be wondering about the name.

Well, back when Die Hard Dice first released that line of dice, it was specifically as a counterpart to their existing Moonstone dice, such as Purple Moonstone (my Set #90) or Moonstone Dreamwalker (Set #133)

But in this case, the main one to look at is Set #130 - Glacial Moonstone, as I called it:

(I probably would have used "Blue" in that name somewhere, now, but at the time, it was the only one I planned on getting)

There's your wintery counterpart to complete the set of seasons.

But then, Christmas holiday deals come around, and I get today's set out of their holiday bundle, along with tomorrow's set. So, nice, more winter dice.

"But Gobs/Naz/Jeff," you might ask [Re-Ask. Remember, I said you asked about it in the framing device above too :p] - "Why do you have 'Green' in parentheses in the name you have for this set?"

Well... Let me tell you:

Sometime Later, I got a second set of Glacial Moonstone Silver as a bonus set when I ordered from Die Hard. I was content to just call that one "Second Glacial Moonstone Silver" (Set #257, to be precise about order, if not timing) and accept that inevitably, the two sets would become intertwined during a hoardscape shoot, and I would never know which was which, originally.

(Set 1 above, Set 2 below)

But...

During cleanup of some hoardscape/other photo session of some sort, I noticed something. It's a little tricky to capture with still images, though.

(Set 1 above, Set 2 below, again)

Can you see it?

Now - Both sets of dice are made from the same white acrylic that has a green tint to it under direct light, or might pick up some warmer orange hints from the light itself. That's not the green I refer to in the name. The second set got the addition "(Pink)" to its name

On DHD's site, they currently describe the Glacial Moonstone with Silver set as having a "light green and blue shimmer", which holds pretty true for the first one:

But for whatever reason, my second set has a definitely more pink shimmer to it:

It's much, much more obvious when the sets are in-motion - To the point that I'm pretty reasonably certain of which dice belong to which set.

I even had gone back and confirmed it by looking at their sets of photos, because they definitely were taken before the two sets ever could have intermingled. Like I say, it's much more obvious in motion, but you definitely can see the pink in the second set and the green-blue in the first one, though it's less obvious.

My guess? The batch of dice this set is from was either an experiment that they didn't pursue further, or perhaps a screw-up in the factory - Pink glitter being used instead of the regular blue-green glitter.

And since DHD is in the habit of including bonus sets with all their orders (well, was anyway - I don't know if they still do, haven't ordered from them in a long while), they used the pink-glitter Glacial Moonstones as the freebie for my order and presumably others from around that time.

So, yeah, that's storytime for tonight, I suppose.

[torahoes]

(IDOLiSH7) Touma Inumaru - An Idol's Daily Life Rabbit Chat: Part 4 - The day I could become the strongest

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

Tsumugi Takanashi: Good work today, Inumaru-san. I watched the show where you took the dogs for a walk!

Tsumugi Takanashi: The way Panda-kun warmed up to both of you was incredibly cute! Especially that moment at the end of the show when he didn’t want to say goodbye and jumped into your arms. It was so heartwarming...!

Touma Inumaru: Good work, Takanashi-san! Thanks for watching the show!

Touma Inumaru: I just watched it with my members too! The ending was really adorable, right? It made me want to go see Panda-kun again lolol

Tsumugi Takanashi: So you watched it with everyone. Gathering to watch a show together sounds lovely!

Touma Inumaru: We’re currently staying at a cottage for a shoot, and Haru was like, "Hey, isn't that show airing today?"

Touma Inumaru: Everyone found Panda's name hilarious!

Tsumugi Takanashi: It's surprising at first, isn't it? Lol

Touma Inumaru: Tora was puzzled and was trying to figure out the humor in naming another animal 'Panda' lolol

Touma Inumaru: But he praised it, saying it’s a name you can’t forget once you hear it.

Tsumugi Takanashi:

Tsumugi Takanashi: Are you all still together right now?

Touma Inumaru: No, we're off doing our own things, like taking a bath and relaxing. We’re in a place about an hour by car from Tokyo. It’s a really nice place, full of nature.

Touma Inumaru: I was just chilling with a cup of herbal tea until a moment ago lol

Tsumugi Takanashi:

1) How is it being out in nature?

Touma Inumaru: It’s awesome! The air is fresh, and the river water is crystal clear. We all cooled off by dipping our feet in the river, but Haru slipped and fell in. When I tried to help him, I ended up soaking wet too lol

2) What kind of shoot did you do?

Touma Inumaru: We did a shoot focused on enjoying nature, so we did things like playing in the river and chopping wood! The campfire was kind of emotional. I feel like we talked about things we usually wouldn’t lol

3) Have you had dinner?

Touma Inumaru: We cooked the fish we caught ourselves, and it was insanely good! Even though it was simply grilled and seasoned with salt, Tora said it wasn’t much different from high-end fish and was really moved! I think the memories we made today probably made it taste even more special.

Touma Inumaru: I just stepped outside, and the stars are incredible! It’s really like the sky is full of stars! Thanks to the clear weather, it looks even more beautiful.

Tsumugi Takanashi: Wow! I’m so jealous! That’s one of the best parts of doing a shoot in nature.

Touma Inumaru: Right? I’ll invite everyone to come and see it later. Not to mention, it’s a full moon today!

Touma Inumaru: Maybe you can see it if the sky's clear over there too?

Tsumugi Takanashi: I’ll go check by the window!

Touma Inumaru: How's it looking?

Tsumugi Takanashi: I can see it! The full moon is truly beautiful.

Tsumugi Takanashi:

Touma Inumaru: I'm glad lol I was a bit worried about what to do if you couldn’t see it after I mentioned it lol

Tsumugi Takanashi: I wouldn’t have noticed if you hadn’t told me, so thank you! Seeing the full moon makes you feel happy, doesn't it?

Touma Inumaru: I know right! I don’t know why, but it makes me feel this inexplicable sense of gain.

Touma Inumaru: Maybe because it has a cool image associated with it?

Tsumugi Takanashi: Cool?

Touma Inumaru: There was an anime I watched as a kid that had a dark hero-like werewolf who protected humans.

Touma Inumaru: He could only use his special powers or become stronger on the night of a full moon.

Tsumugi Takanashi: You're right, that's definitely a common image. Werewolves often transform during the full moon in most stories too.

Touma Inumaru: Right? So, on full moon nights, I’d often feel stronger and pretend to howl, but my mom would scold me lolol

Tsumugi Takanashi: You really got into character! Lol

Tsumugi Takanashi:

Touma Inumaru: For me, it was the day I could become the strongest.

Touma Inumaru:

Touma Inumaru: Takanashi-san, did you have anything like that?

Tsumugi Takanashi: I loved the story about rabbits making mochi on the moon, so I was always looking for them!

Touma Inumaru: Rabbits, huh? That’s cute.

Touma Inumaru: Totally different from me howling lol

Tsumugi Takanashi: I suppose everyone has different images associated with the moon!

Touma Inumaru: Yeah! I’ll ask my members about it later too.

Touma Inumaru: They might be getting out of the bath soon, so I’ll go invite them!

Tsumugi Takanashi: Yes! Please take your time and enjoy yourselves!

End of Part 4.

[station19probie]

Station 19: S0103: Contain the Flame

While yesterday, some unexpected shifts in my day meant I found the time to do an episode blog, which was great… I did spend most of today thinking I’d be unable to make a blog. Except, not because of my schedule… I had a migraine episode that started in the middle of the night, would not respond to meds, and even if that didn’t mean I already didn’t want to watch TV because it makes my eyes hurt more, I certainly wouldn’t have a good time trying to type out my thoughts. Luckily, it’s been about an hour since the attack finally dissipated… but, you know, apologies in advance if my thoughts end up less coherent than normal. I feel better enough now that I probably won’t have random typos, so, here’s hoping. Watching and blogging about an episode of Station still feels like a nice way to end my day, especially when the migraine made it suck so much, hahaha.

So let’s get started, shall we? Picking up in this episode right where the last one stopped, with the rest of the station getting called to respond to the fire Dean and Ben found in the crawl space when responding to a medical call.

“So that stuff back there with Jack — was that, uh, ‘we just got it on in the turnout room’ smack talk, or ‘we almost got it on but got interrupted by the alarm’ smack talk, or, ‘we’re really confused because we’re competition but we just drove through blue fire which is really hot but we still haven’t talked about that engagement ring hanging over our heads yet’ sm… ah yes, that’s the one. See, you can keep Jack a secret from the station, but you can’t keep secrets from me. Don’t even try.” - Maya

All of the smack talk at the start of the episode is already funny, but Maya always noticing everything, and the way the calls things out, is so great.

Now, I don’t know how much of each character’s backstory was developed at the start of the show, versus what was decided on in season 2 and 3 when we get to know more about these character’s personal lives and histories (but based on the conversation she will have with Ryan about her brother… next episode?… I have to think they had already considered that what Maya describes about their childhood, even if -she- doesn’t realize yet, is that of an abusive household…. Versus like, Jack growing up in the system was definitely decided literally anytime after the pilot, likely when developing season 2 because that backstory is introduced early on, and they fix the line from the pilot where he said to Maya that his parents got married after six months, by having her specifically ask about it and he clarifies that was in reference to some foster parents, as he doesn’t know who his bio parents are).

But even if they hadn’t considered actually exploring emotionally-abusive-parent as a storyline for Maya during season 1, it absolutely makes sense to me that her character grew up in an abusive household. Because while this is absolutely me projecting my own personal lived experience, you absolutely learn to *notice everything* all the time, about everything. And, it’s usually exhausting having this need to notice and pick up on everything all the time — but at least it’s fun when you get to joke with your friends about how of course you notice everything, why do you think I’m suddenly not going to notice everything.

And yes, obviously being observant and noticing everything isn’t automatically a symptom of having been abused, and not everyone who has been abused goes on to be someone who notices everything all the time. But, I’d say if you’re already someone who does tend to notice things (and we kind of get the impression that’s who Maya has always been, in her therapy session with Diane), experiencing abuse in childhood is definitely going to encourage that natural tendency you already had of being someone who notices things (at least, that was also my lived experience. So maybe I’m projecting, but hey, Maya reminds me of me!)

“So you’re the guy who runs back in when everyone else is running out?” - JJ

“I am.” - Dean

“That’s terrifying. Why on earth would you choose a job like that?” - JJ

“Didn’t have much choice after flunking out of mime school. Stupid invisible box.” - Dean

Please, why is this so funny? Even when I remember this line is coming, it kills me. It was such an unnecessary response, but it’s *chef’s kiss*

(Side note so I don’t forget to ask later… for tumblr’s formatting, on the previous two posts I used the “quote” text option, but on this one I’m trying out “indenting” instead because I think maybe it looks nice… thoughts? Preferences? I’ll honestly use whatever formatting people who read my posts prefer to see, readability and accessibility of my posts matters to me. I can even go edit the first two posts with consistent formatting if consensus is a different style option works better.)

“I inspected this building a couple weeks back, could have been smoldering for days.” - Jack

“Good to know.” - Andy

“Just a taste there — of my crushing.” - Jack

“Oh, okay, I see. That’s what you think that was?” - Andy

And so it begins! The butting heads of this episode. I do appreciate the episodes over the course of this season, when we see Andy and Jack’s leadership styles differ, seeing when they actively agree or disagree on calls, times when we see Andy feeling insecure in reaction to Jack’s decisions being right, times when we see Andy rightfully stand up for her choices. I think we really do get to the end of this season believing that of course one of these two would-be-captains will of course become the next caption of station 19, and I like that we get to see that it’s not just a clear cut of ‘well of course one is better than the other’ and instead there is nuance.

I mean, we’ll see a lot of that in the Ripley sit down episode, so I won’t talk too much about that now, but even in that episode where you’ve seen most of a season and you’re pretty sure you know what to expect from those sit downs, but of course nothing is ever so cut and dry and void of any nuance.

Even this episode, and sure I’m jumping the gun by talking about it before I even get there, but it’s not cut and dry either… yes, rules are good and the proper steps and protocols exist for a reason, and Andy’s right to say so… but knowing when do things not so by the book is also an important quality for leadership, so Jack’s firsthand experience of the building in his recommendation to jump right to cutting a strip? It isn’t irrelevant. And since they managed to effectively vent the roof so the fire can be contained and put out, and everyone safely evacuated the roof before it collapsed… so everything turned out fine, we’re left as the viewer sitting in that nuance, or just choosing for ourselves who we side with.

There’s absolutely this gray area when it comes to observing and analyzing these two and their desire to be captain, when it comes to their potential readiness to take on that role.

I mean, I literally took a course in college, where a main component of that course was learning about and researching and analyzing different styles of leadership (and how they show up in the world, who tends to gravitate towards which types, their effectiveness in different situations, and so on). And while, in case it wasn’t already obvious, I’ve always very much been a “let’s talk about the nuance” person, this course gave me an even greater appreciation for, and an academic backing for, my opinions on the important of nuance in leadership (and perhaps for a time increased my frustration with the more tyrannical leadership I often witnessed at the job I worked during this same semester I was studying actually effective leadership styles, but I digress, lol.)

Oh, Pruitt and Ryan… I love how they started out so… adversarial isn’t the right word… at odds with each other, in season one, but eventually become friends. Theirs is a fun relationship to watch grow and evolve. Like, the more we get to know these two, and know that Pruitt tried to take Ryan under his wing as a fatherly figure when Ryan and Andy were kids… do we assume that whatever it was that had lead to Andy and Ryan’s initial interaction in the pilot where they were obviously not on good terms (even if, after her dad collapsed so Ryan came to the house to check in with Andy about how she was and how her dad was, they all too quickly fell back into old patterns of getting naked with each other), so whatever lead to Andy being on the outs with Ryan, was it just that which made Pruitt seem less than fond of Ryan until they started bonding more as friends of each other and not just relationally connected through Andy? Was it also maybe partly due to Pruitt’s overprotectiveness of Andy, and his disapproval that his daughter went from just being friends with Ryan, to having the audacity to grow up and eventually start sneaking him into her bedroom, that influenced his less flattering opinion of Ryan?

We know Andy was frustrated when Ryan wasn’t supportive of her starting at the fire academy, and we know that when she graduated, her father missed the ceremony because he was bailing Ryan out because Pruitt was the only person he felt he could call… and yes Pruitt showed up, but is that maybe the last time Pruitt saw him until now? Since sometime after that, Ryan had would have gotten his life in order enough to become a police officer, and we know he moved off the street, and in the pilot says he just moved back into his parent’s house. And him and Andy being on good terms again, and Ryan clearly wanting to step up and be there for Andy now that they’re on good terms again… Ryan picked up her dad from the hospital when he figured the overturned tanker and the blue fire meant she couldn’t, and he takes Pruitt home per Andy’s request when they get called to this fire. So is this maybe the first time Pruitt has seen Ryan in a couple years, and so he’s just kind of thinking “sure, he’s a cop now, and sure, I watched this kid grow up, but just because my daughter can forgive him overnight, doesn’t mean I’m going to.”

I don’t know. I think their relationship is interesting. I like seeing the evolution of their dynamic. (But I also think Pruitt definitely over concerns himself with his daughter’s relationships and would-be-relationships in absolutely frustrating and irritating ways that can absolutely get on my last nerve because no, actually, what your daughter consents to and with whom is actually not your business and she’s actually an adult, and maybe if you’re concerned about choices she’s making, find a different way to have those conversations, because you are being condescending and disrespectful.)

“Warren, see those pipes?” - Andy

“Uh, pipes, yeah, yeah, I see them.” - Ben

“Good, keep doing that.” - Andy

“Keep seeing them?” - Ben

“Report any changes to me.” - Andy

“Changes? Am I being hazed?” - Ben

So, I think I mentioned this in the pilot, but I can’t remember so I’ll risk saying it again. But in this episode when we have the scene by the truck before they go to the roof, and then once they get on the roof, or asking Ben firefighting questions to make sure as the rookie he knows what he’s doing, but it also gives us, the viewer, a chance to learn why they’re doing what they’re doing too. And yes, it’s absolutely a trope in media to do the “have someone new so they are learning things and instead of needing to give a ton of exposition to the audience that’s boring, we’re teaching an actual character for the added benefit of the audience.” But, some media captures this better than others, as with any trope. Anyway, in most of the seasons of this show we obviously don’t have anyone talking about why they’re doing the things the do the way they do, so probably as an audience it wouldn’t have been a huge deal if we’d never had these teachable moments on screen, but since we got them, I really like how they did them, and I think the way they did the “make sure new guy knows his stuff” teachable moments, were really well done and I personally appreciate that they did opt to use the trope since they did it well.

But also, this bit with the pipes, as someone who knew nothing about firefighting, but just happens to have deductive reasoning skills… with Warren being so convinced he’s being hazed for having to watch the pipes, I’m just like… Warren, for being smart enough to be an anesthesiologist and a surgeon, how are you just totally missing why it matters that you watch the pipes while everyone else works on venting? (At least he gets it in the end, when the pipes grow, so they can get off the roof before it collapses.)

“Heat hole’s almost complete chief, interior team should stand by with hoses ready for attack.” - Andy on radio to Frankel

“Pruitt would have let you do the strip.” - Travis to Jack. “Yep.” - Jack

“How are those pipes Warren?” - Andy to Ben “Still piping. Definitely being hazed.” - Warren

“Let’s just start your strip.” - Travis to Jack “I know you want to slice and dice, Gibson, I get it, we all get it.” - Andy

“Captain, report your status.” - Frankel

This whole series of conversations happens on the roof very quickly, while Maya and Vic are working on cutting the heat hole *which Andy did communicate with Frankel* that the status was the heat hole was almost complete, and barely any time passes before Frankel is checking in with a tone that sounds extremely irritated and inconvenienced to be doing so? Your acting captain literally did just check in.

“Herrera, report in! Do you copy?” - Frankel

“Yes, chief, I copy, I’m here.” - Andy

“And what is your status?” - Frankel

*at this point Maya and Vic complete the heat hole*

“Show me what you’re made of!” - Andy, to the heat hole

“Herrera!” - Frankel

*heat hole: big fire!*

“There she is!” - Maya

“Heat hole’s completed chief. Ready for waterworks inside.” - Andy to Frankel

Like, Frankel *was* being communicated with, and then immediately starts getting on radio acting as if Andy isn’t communicating? When Andy just told you the heat hole was almost done, do you just think Andy’s going to neglect to tell you when it’s fully ready? Like, preparing a heat hole isn’t instantaneous, and as a firefighter yourself who climbed up to Battalion Chief, don’t you know this?

Like, this absolutely gives vibes of micromanaging Andy just to paint the picture of Andy being incompetent, when the reality is that any additional communication would have been a ridiculous play-by-play of “Maya is cutting the last section for the heat hole, Vic is holding Maya steady while Maya hits in the now fully cut piece of roof to turn it into an actual hole for the fire to come through” like… had Andy done that, the reaction would rightfully be “I don’t need a fully narrated play by play, I’m not a babysitter” but instead you’re going to come on radio like, 30 seconds after Andy said they’re almost ready, stand by, because it’s supposed to what, be instantaneous? Not nearly enough time passed in that scene for Frankel to actually take issue and needing Andy to check in.

And then Andy has the audacity to want to let the team inside have an actual chance to hit the fire with water before deciding to jump to the strip, and Frankel gets on radio all “we’re hitting it inside, what’s the status on top?” like… what’s with your attitude Frankel? Yikes.

“I love a good strip!” - Jack

“Chief we’ve cut the fire off.” - Andy on radio

“Copy that.” - Frankel

“Go on, gloat if you wanna gloat.” - Andy

“No need, strip speaks for itself.” - Jack

“Are we wrapping up here captain?” - Ben

“Yeah. You got somewhere to be probie?” - Andy

“It would appear that my good friend the pipes here are growing. Either that or this roof is sinking. They’ve grown several inches in the last few seconds.” - Ben

See, Ben, that’s why you were watching the pipes!

“You and your fireflies.” - Travis to Dean

“She’s not. Fireflies follow us around. The universe sent -me- to -her-.” - Dean

Hahahahaha

Ughh. Do I even need to talk about this post incident conversation between Frankel with Andy and Jack? Frankel is being so antagonistic, and for what?

“On the ground, this call sounded like chaos. Listening to you now, it’s worse.” Frankel, while standing in front of and speaking exclusively to Andy

Like… who are you trying to convince, Frankel? Yeah, they disagreed, but on the roof and now here Andy is sticking to “we have steps for a reason, we follow the steps,” and Andy is assured and calm in her explanations, like? And Jack is also assured that he knows this building which is why he recommended the strip. It’s not chaos just because they disagreed. And it didn’t become a problem at any point that they disagreed. And the team followed orders even though Jack and Travis both expressed the *desire* to cut the strip. So aside from Frankel’s agenda to turn this into something it wasn’t… it’s actually fine if someone disagrees with a leader and has the information to back up why they disagree? And it’s also okay if that info is taken into consideration while still not being acted upon? Come on, Frankel.

And sure, she does go from seeming to single Andy out, to then deciding to give feedback to both (telling Jack not to argue with his captain or chief, telling Andy to utilize the team and take advice of lieutenants) and tells them both “do better.”

But then again, we are supposed to see as the viewer that Frankel is not behaving fully professionally and unbiased or as helpfully as she could from her position, which is why for the sit downs we get Ripley saying that he’s doing them because he felt Frankel was a little too biased. (And since we never see Frankel after season one, are we meant to assume she either transferred or was let go from the department?)

“Figure out how to run this station together, or believe me, I will find someone else who can.” - Frankel

Maybe, and here’s a thought, actually let them run it together instead of pitting them against each other every other shift?

“I always encouraged you to speak up, as your dad, as your captain, but with Frankel you gotta be a little more… political.” - Pruitt

“I am not playing politics when it comes to the lives of my crew.” - Andy

And you’re fucking right for this!

“I’m so glad to see you,” Andy says as she opens the door to reveal Maya on her porch, as they each give each other a look that absolutely proves we were robbed of an Andy-Maya ship, because of course Andy should have been bi, we the audience deserved to see them together, haha. (I do love Marina as a ship though, don’t get me wrong. But everyone who ever watches and begins the show thinking Andy and Maya will eventually date isn’t wrong for thinking so. We did deserve that. I always want more queer characters and relationships though. I also think Jack should have been bi.)

“Frankel doesn’t pay compliments because she never got them. She had it tough coming up.” - Maya

“And she thinks I didn’t.” - Andy

“You didn’t. Well, not like her. None of us did, partly thanks to her.” - Vic

And here is when I’ll get into that Frankel rant I mentioned last episode.

Because Frankel is obviously so frustrating as a character, she spends so much time this season intentionally being adversarial towards Andy, and in the scene later this episode we’ll see her have a totally different attitude just towards Jack.

And sometimes I can’t decide if it would have been worth having Frankel actually in more episodes than we saw her in, for a chance for her character to be more rounded out the way most characters actually get the chance to be.

Except, well, that actually doesn’t matter. Because it wouldn’t change the lens through which we view her in these episodes of season one that she’s in.

While at first glance they almost look like a caricature, she unfortunately acts just like actual real life women who unfortunately do not see that just because they had a hard time breaking down barriers, that shouldn’t mean they should be resentful towards the women who come after who benefit from some of those barriers having been broken down. These women also fully fail to take into consideration the fact that, while they started breaking down the barriers, there is still a lot of work to be done, and the women who come after will keep breaking those barriers down and eventually clear them out entirely. They’re no longer solid blockades thanks to you, but making it easier for those who come next doesn’t mean they don’t also deserve to be there and didn’t earn their spot.

Of course it’s so easy to be resentful of knowing just how fucking hard you worked, and seeing someone who doesn’t have to go through what you went through… but it’s also always so baffling to me that they don’t see that these men who they don’t feel the same disdain for as the women who come after them… never had any barriers in the first place and always have an easier time, yes even than the women who only didn’t have to work as hard as you.

I mean, I’ve literally left a job before after a female manager who absolutely had this kind of mentality, first blocked from me applying for a job in another department, then later blocked me the promotion within my own team I’d been working towards for a couple of years, and had more than earned, and was basically promised was mine when it opened up, and instead the promotion was given to a new guy who they actually had to postpone the start date of the role for him to meet the minimum time worked for the company to qualify to promote. Someone who notoriously was not good at his job, and only put in any amount of effort directly in front of leadership staff, and it was still barely any effort and more shmoozing than actual work. While I was consistently lauded as one of the hardest and most consistent workers on staff, but this female manager especially (whose opinion was unfortunately weighed very heavily due to her seniority) was continually telling me I was not doing enough or working hard enough. I could not actually do more than I was already doing. This woman hated female employees. But showed so much respect and admiration for the men who would talk shit about her as soon as she was out of ear shot. (And myself and some of those other women she hated still always stood up for her, because her treating us like shit didn’t make their comments suddenly appropriate.)

So I did leave that job and ended up with a boss who was perhaps the most abusive misogynistic male manager I’ve ever met in my life… which really sucked for literally everyone who wasn’t the singular man who were his subordinates.

But some days I honestly don’t know which manager was worse… the one who openly hated and distrusted women because he was a man? Or the woman who “had it hard coming up” and made damn sure to keep making things harder for the women who came after her?

Because at least the man signed off the approval when I decided to apply to another team at the company — of course, his initial reaction to finding out about my internal application was to berate me for not telling him the day I submitted it, but when I reminded him that we’d had a one on one scheduled that he postponed last minute to leave early… an immediate change in attitude to one of support for my following my dreams or whatever bullshit remark he said to pretend he hadn’t just verbally accosted a subordinate. He was also allergic to email and would have been even more pissed off had I not had this conversation with him face to face at the earliest opportunity. And then after an interview the other team’s manager did want me for the role, pending my current manager signing off on the transfer, which he did do.

Anyway, Frankel… such a frustrating character, but such a good representation of the fact that there are in fact people who will fight their way through barriers, and then resent everyone who benefits from THEIR determination to succeed in spite of those barriers. That mentality of “if I had it hard, so should you!” even though that just hurts everybody more.

I hate it so much, but it is so true to real life!

“To Frankel!” - Andy

“To Andy!” - Maya

“To vodka!!!!” - Vic

You’re so real for this, Vic.

“Monogamy is for the weak — or the very, very dedicated.” - Maya

Obligatory shoutout to this *iconic* line.

And… now we start Jack’s first shift, where we see an immediate contrast to his chosen leadership style to how we’ve so far seen Andy approach things. I feel like, even without Pruitt’s later presumed interference, Jack probably would have shifted his leadership a bit closer to how things had been versus his initial “let’s switch things up” approach. My own suspicions are, it’s a mix of, having worked for Pruitt for a while and at least for some amount of time having been his only lieutenant, Jack got a front row seat to what he thought did and didn’t work from a leader, since leadership expectations can fall heaviest on those in the next highest role, but also, even as a lieutenant he’s more of a peer in practicality with the rest of the team than the captain, so he would have also been privy to opinions shared about what people didn’t like about Pruitt’s leadership style, that even while Andy was their peer might not have heard as much of just because he’s her dad.

So now Jack finds himself stepping into the captain role and able to change things he’s potentially been thinking about for a while that maybe he’d try if he were ever captain, see how this worked or that worked.

But also, he and Andy are switching off every other shift as captain, and Andy loves being very by the book.

Perhaps Jack feels even more of a need to really go in the opposite direction of, well if Andy’s going to do things this way, let’s just go all in on my first day and see if doing things completely the opposite works out at all, because at the very least, next shift we’ll go right back to those rules so there’s a safety net and I can try everything at once.

But, it was definitely too much, and he does course correct, and it might not have even had anything to do with Pruitt at all, even if Pruitt was there to make his own sarcastic comments about it leading the team to think it was Pruitt reeling him in.

And honestly, no captain ~immediately~ finds their rhythm in the role, because next season we see Sullivan end up needing to course correct, and the following season Maya has to find her footing as captain (though yes, her transition is made more difficult due to insubordination from those who didn’t think she should have been promoted). We didn’t see Beckett’s first 10 months, but the team never fully gelled with him so we can make assumptions. Theo then tried to overcorrect from Beckett, which caused issues in and of itself. And even Andy had to figure out how she was best suited to run things.

“If he’s going to work a desk somewhere it might as well be here.” - Jack

“He’s my dad, not yours.” - Andy

“He’s my captain. I got a call from station 23, asking me to recommend him for a job over there, that’s clear across town. I said no, so he could be closer.” - Jack

“It’s like you think you’re trying to help me or something, but you’re not. Having him underfoot all the time, watching over our shoulders..” - Andy

“It doesn’t sound so bad to me. I value his input.” - Jack

“I see. And you didn’t even think to give me a heads up because..?” - Andy

I do understand Andy’s frustration here, because earlier in this episode she had a conversation with her dad about the importance of him staying at home and taking care of himself and focusing on his cancer treatment and getting well. Because he dad was literally just in the hospital, from recently having collapsed and had literal surgery and they found cancer he needs treatment for. And Andy very understandably believes her dad’s priority should be his health, but her dad really wants to be working, so of course she frustrated, here her dad is starting the job of working reception at the station.

Meanwhile, Jack has a point of, if Pruitt is going to be working anywhere, it makes sense to him for it to be here, and probably in Jack’s mind, Pruitt already used to be captain there, so what’s the issue if he comes to work reception? The team already knows and trusts him, and it probably didn’t even cross his mind that Andy would take issue.

But also, I suspect that in addition to the frustration at the fact that here’s her dad working reception when she wants him focusing on his health, and her frustration that Jack hired him to work reception without telling her just as a matter of principle, and to an extent because she was not expecting to have her dad watching her as she works shifts as captain while hoping to officially promote into the role…

There’s definitely extra tension from the fact that Andy has so far avoided talking with Jack about the ring, and that since they haven’t really talked, the very nature of their relationship at all is just hanging over their heads, and now they’re competing for captain, and things would feel messy and complicated enough just from the captain thing alone, but I kind of feel like Andy might not even realize that the very fact that she’s avoiding talking to Jack about the status of their secret relationship, is compounding her frustration (though understandable) at decisions he is making when acting captain.

And of course Pruitt sees them arguing through the office door and is probably just like “yikes, didn’t think they’d be so immature over competing to be captain.”

No, it’s also the secret relationship you don’t know about hanging over their heads because they’re both all too happy to actually avoid a serious conversation yet, and don’t realize it’s impacting everything else.

(And then he hears Dean go down the pole and is at least distracted from watching the argument with a “wait, did I just hear what I think I heard?” Hahahaha)

“Frankel’s right — Jack’s in charge now, and I just need to be the best lieutenant I can be.” - Andy

“He’s counting on that, you know.” - Maya

Even if it’s not intentional on Jack’s part, Maya is absolutely correct. Because men benefit from not needing to even be aware of different dynamics at play, so they don’t see that the “rule abiding good soldier thing” Maya points out, actually benefits them and isn’t just some neutral thing because they’re just so used to it as the norm.

It’s like that thing where, you don’t notice the advantages you have until someone comes into to try and make things equitable, and it’s all “hey, you’re giving them something I didn’t get” when, no, it’s just making sure you’re on equal footing to start now.

“Didn’t have to take it to such an extreme, jumping into a pool of chemicals just to crush me.” - Andy

“I’m going to go check on the rest of those kids.” - Jack

“I mean, how did he know, to jump in? None of us could see into that pool. Nobody mentioned another kid missing.” - Andy

“He said he counted the flip flops. Six pairs, only five kids. He’s always a couple steps ahead that way, Rushes in like he doesn’t have a plan, when the truth is, he’s usually already leapt ahead of the rest of us. Used to drive me nuts. I like to know the steps, but now, I learned to just trust it. That’s why he’s ready for captain.” - Travis

“And I’m not?” - Andy

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but it is a skill to do what he does, a skill that you haven’t figured out yet. Jack’s been a lieutenant for years. You’ve had less than two days. You’re good, Herrera, but you’re still green. I lost a husband under a captain that was green. I know the cost.” - Travis

Side note… first, I would like some actual details on what is perceived to be a “green” caption versus more skilled, just because I like having things more specific than “you’re green” but more to my side note point… in season 4 we get the flashbacks episode of Theo and Michael and Travis… and the flashback is in 2012 when Theo says Ripley is putting him up for captain, and since the current captain of their station will be moving into Battalion Chief, he might even get to stay there as captain. And the next flashback is 2016 when we see Travis stressing and talking to Michael about how he’s worried because Theo is still green and especially since the two of them are friends, it makes Travis worry more. And it was 2016 when Michael died.

So my question… did it take 4 years before the other guy became Battalion Chief and Theo actually became captain? In which case, he was still a lieutenant in those four years getting more experience that way. Or was he captain for some or all of those four years but somehow still remained green?

See, this is why I want to know what Travis means by being green. Because the way he talks about it here, the number of years of experience in a leadership role help you become less green. What made Theo green?

(But also, he’s not wrong that Herrera literally doesn’t have the actionable years of experience in a leadership role, although we do see her excelling and showing strengths that would serve her well as captain because even without official promotions until now, she’s had the benefit from growing up watching her dad as a leader, and spent her whole life chasing this dream, and developing the qualities and traits that will serve her towards this goal, even if she only just now has her first promotion. Actual on the job experience can only help her, even if she has spent most of her life working towards becoming the person who is capable and qualified to take on these roles.)

“And the specialist they’ll get for you, well, that’ll probably be Doctor Bailey. She’ll knock you out just with her smile.” - Ben

Ben trying to reassure comfort their drowning victim while also speaking in such a complimentary way about his wife is the best.

“Montgomery thinks I’m too green to be captain.” - Andy

“He’s green… like a booger.” - Vic

Obviously in season one so far, we’ve seen much more of Andy and Vic being friends than we have the fact the fact that Travis and Vic are the best besties on the show, but since it is later established just how close Travis and Vic’s friendship would already be by this point, I’d like to think that even though of course Vic wants to support Andy for captain, she totally flubs in trying to come up with a proper retort to make Andy feel better about Travis calling her green, because Travis is her queer platonic soulmate already. I mean, what else explains that being the best response she can muster? Hahaha

“I said I got it, you don’t have to coach me. This is my race, not yours.” - Andy to Maya

And here we sprinkle in some tension that will build…

“Permission to speak frankly?” - Jack

“Granted.” - Frankel

“Andy has earned her spot. She should have made lead lieutenant years ago. You think Pruitt gave her a leg up? He held her back, because it made his life easier to have his daughter around. This place ran so smoothly on his command because of Andy Herrera.” - Jack

“Loyalty’s good, Gibson, it is, but you should stop while you’re ahead.” - Frankel

Jack gets a lot of unearned hate in the fandom. But, while just a bit ago I pointed out that he might even be oblivious to some of the dynamics at play in the captain’s race. But, in his conversation with Frankel he absolutely saw how differently she treated just him, versus how he has been witnessing her treat Andy in front of him. And his immediate reaction was to call it out, even if he thinks he deserves and has earned a captain’s spot, because he sees that it’s bullshit and he doesn’t want to stand by for that.

(Also I suppose now is as good a place as any to point out that in addition to the fact that I obviously don’t hate Jack as a character, for anyone who can’t stand any empathy being shown towards his character at all, you are reading the wrong person’s posts. Because, while in terms of character histories, I most relate to Maya’s backstory… but when it comes to how the characters act when stressed and triggered, I relate more to Jack. Maya’s “eyes forward” trauma response is much too ‘fight’ and ‘keep moving at any cost’ kind of energy…. which was actually a trauma response that did put me in more danger in my abusive household. But Jack’s trauma response of shutting down and retreating? Yup, that’s still where my trauma responses live — though, I do go to trauma focused therapy, big fan of therapy over here. But anyway, as someone who loves nuance and relates to Jack’s trauma responses a little too much, I do have thoughts on some of his future story arcs, which some will assuredly hate and that’s okay.)

“You didn’t agree to promote me just because I’m your daughter, right? You know I could do this job.” - Andy

“Of course. Did something happen?” - Pruitt

“It’s just… it is so hard to just sit back and not get involved. To just let things happen.” - Andy

“I know.” - Pruitt

“I know you know.” - Andy

I personally do not think Pruitt is as supportive of his daughter as much or as often as he should be, so I do appreciate when he does see her and support her. Which, I guess I’ll say now, even though a couple episodes from now I’ll be annoyed at him again right alongside Andy being annoyed at him, hahaha.

“I don’t even know why I came here. Weirdly, the one person Seth and I had in common was… you.” - JJ

This scene is sad. But I also think it’s important that the show did show us early on that they lose people, not everyone lives. Because that’s the actual reality of first responders, too, even aside from the fact that the show is a drama so you would probably expect deaths on the show as is. They do, to whatever extent, want to portray some of the realities. And the reality is that people will die. So having this conversation with Dean and JJ, who met last episode when she came into the station, and then were all flirty vibes this episode during the moments between evacuating people that Dean was actually outside, all the way until Dean found her “not boyfriend-boyfriend” Seth in her apartment and she rode with him to the hospital because “it’s just the right thing to do, you know, as a person.” So she feels a connection enough with Dean to come back and talk to him to process Seth’s death; but it also invites us the viewer in on a closer look at the fact that first responders can’t save them all, and even successful rescues don’t always result in lives actually saved, they might die at the hospital instead.

Also, shows doing stuff like this makes me think about the show Scrubs. I’m pretty sure it was the actual show’s creator, Bill Lawrence, who was the one who talked about this, but one of their early season one episodes, they start off saying how one in three patients die. And in this episode we see each JD, Elliott, and Turk treating a patient, and the expectation the viewer has for this episode is that one of them will die, but by the end, all three have died. And it was a way to set the tone for the show because yes, the show is a comedy, but they also wanted to be grounded to reality, and they wanted to set the tone of the show early on that, this show wasn’t going to just shy away from things just because it’s technically a comedy, so having all three patients die in this episode when you the viewer were expecting just one death, was very important to set that tone and precedent for the show very early on. (And, though Scrubs does has its problematic elements, I love this show could easily talk at length about it.) But, aside from just finding it fascinating hearing people talk about their creative choices for why they made something way they did… hearing this specific explanation for this episode has stuck with me, and started making me notice in other shows when they do things like that to show their tone and set their expectations for the viewers.

And so, that’s what I’m reminded of when I see this scene. The show is setting their tone in these early season one episodes, and this is a way to show that just like in the real world, not every patient lives. And the show found a way to do it through a character being able to have a conversation about it with one of the firefighters, which also sets the tone that something important to this show is human connection and conversation.

“Anyway… couldn’t sleep without getting that off my chest.” - Ryan

“What.. what if I won’t be able to sleep tonight?” - Andy

“Can’t help you there.” - Ryan

See, and this is why I probably in the future shouldn’t do a rewatch blog right after a migraine ends, nor take a couple hours break in the middle of writing it until I can’t sleep so okay I’m coming back to finish it tonight, because I definitely would have otherwise remembered to say in my notes about Andy and Jack arguing in the office about Pruitt working reception… in addition to Andy seeming to not realize that some of the tension between her and Jack is both of their avoidance at talking about their relationship, on Andy’s side it���s also compounded by the confusion of, stuff happened between her and Ryan and then he initially brushed her off of having a conversation at all with “we’re all good” when initially she was just trying to say they didn’t need to talk about it then when they were both working. But now Ryan has come to the station to talk to her because Pruitt got in his head and he wants to make sure he’s not influencing Andy and… At least this conversation is making Andy a little more aware of things she’s trying to ignore, in favor of focusing on trying to become captain.

And with what, we end this episode. Lesson learned on trying to write about an episode so soon after a migraine episode though.

[justicerikai]

graduation

In Japan, when one decides to move onto greener pastures or simply quit the current job they have been doing for quite a while, that is referred to as graduation.

And thus, I too, will be graduating from translating Charisma House.

Earlier this month (May 2023) I decided to go on a break due some medical and personal issues I had to deal with. No thinking about translating at all, just doing what I want and what I like. It's been roughly two weeks now and for someone who is doing things all the time, it was more than enough to decide where I want to keep going with translating.

Of course, this isn't a spontaneous decision. It's something that weighed in the back of my mind for a bit- can I handle all of this? I love translating, but can I handle all of it? No, I cannot. I need to know my limits.

But most importantly, know what's fun.

Charisma House was very novel for me. I had to learn to understand the humor, grasp what's being implied, the nuances of the jokes that can be easily misunderstood if not read properly. It was a challenge that definitely pushed me beyond anything else ever could. And yet, that honeymoon phase of grasping something so novel, so different, has come to an end.

I still love Charisma House, and always will. I actively keep up and peruse the interwebs for fun theories and content. Yet with the direction of Season 2, I have noticed... translating it no longer sparks joy as it once did. It is still good content, but not the one that made me lose my marbles, or perhaps I have simply gotten used to it?

Or perhaps, I simply just... lost the spark and drive I once had for it. And that is fine. Such is the beauty of what's fleeting, 物の哀れ if you will.

Translating Charisma House was, and will always, be a fun experience for me. I'm happy I took the risk, a mere amateur like I, to still translate it. I learned a lot, I laughed a lot, I shared a lot. I never thought I would translate drama tracks, or even still try with song lyrics (which I did give up on but alas). Besides this, I have also dabbled in subbing anime, I have even attempted manga translating. But at the end of the day I realized that what truly sparks joy, what actually is fun for me, for me is visual novel type content.

Not only that, I also want to translate because... I want to. Not because it is an obligation to give the people content. A few weeks ago, my favourite mobile game released an event with my two fave characters and I had so much fun working on it. I felt so excited with each phrase I translated, I couldn't wait to show this to people.

Even when I am thinking of an other mobile game that's coming out soon, all I can think of is "God, I cannot wait to share this with the masses! I have to! It's my duty as a human being!"

That feeling is, alas, what I have been lacking with Charisma House for a while. And that is when I should know better, and draw the line.

As I said, it is no longer fun.

Is it that serious? That I'm dropping a series that I have translated? No, probably not. Happens all the time, I'm sure there are others waiting in line to continue what I was doing, or maybe not. Who knows.

But to me, it is, and that's why I wanted to convey it in a long hefty post.

As closure, I will share some words of one of my favourite manga. Something I live by, and will for as long as possible.

"The world is filled to the brim with nice things... and all of them are carrying someone's intentions and feelings.

When those feelings get across and manage to make someone happy... I gain little pieces of confidence,

that I'll gather together and carry with me as I move on."

And I believe something like that, is only achievable when you do something that is fun, to you.

Thank you for reading, this post, and my translations. Thank you for being able to find enjoyment in Charisma House through my translations. This blog is not going anywhere and will stay up, of course. You will probably still see me around on my other ventures, just not here.

And never forget,

Rikai-kun is cute and he will always be.

Sayonara

[herefortarlos]

Hello Desi, I’m hitting your inbox with three questions for Nice Ask Week!🌞

1. Which new term(s) of endearment do you hope we get in season s5 and in which situation(s) should they occur?

2. For the steamy scene that we know we’re getting, which kind of steamy scene would it be if you could choose and what does it relate to in the episode? Like are we talking angsty ‘I almost lost you or you’re feeling sad’ steamy, boring (in a good 🥰 way) married s*x, the end of a dry spell for some reason, them trying something new, maybe related to a silly call or something, them being riled up, etc etc you choose!

3. Idk if you received the perfume yet, But! Do you think that this is the same scent that TK has worn from the start of their relationship or did he change it? Either or, when and how did Carlos notice it and what was his reaction to it? (Internally or externally)

I hope you’re enjoying your weekend very much!! - Mar ☺️🪷🐟

Hello, Mar ���!! First of all, thank you for the ask and pleaseeeee forgive me for only getting to this now 😅 I can be the worst when it comes to asks because I need to make sure I am in the right head space to give them my full attention and answer them well! I do love receiving things like this though! I just put too much pressure on myself to give thoughtful answers!

Now then, let's talk about Tarlos terms of endearment!! I am sooo freaking excited and looking forward to hearing more sweet words between those husbands! The one I am most hopeful to hear is "sweetheart"!! I definitely imagine Carlos calling TK that more but would lose my mind if it came out of either of their mouths! I REALLY want to hear it in bed, either with them just waking up or in the middle of sexy times 🫠 But I think it's definitely reserved for when it's just the two of them alone at home! And we still better hear plenty of "baby"s, from TK and maybe Carlos too if we're really lucky!

Mwhahaha, for the steamy scene, I am 100% taking it literally and hoping we get a tarlos shower scene!! Since Ronen said TK gets hurt in 5x04 and then the steamy scene is in 5x05, I really want it to be "I'm so glad you're okay and that could have been so much worse than it was, grateful you're alive" sex! We get a callback to Carlos having to help TK bathe/shower, and at first it starts out slow, with Carlos deliberately and carefully stripping TK out of his clothes. Then he sees his husband's naked body and slight injury, whatever it may be, and he looks so sad, and TK notices this and grabs his face and reassures him that he is fine and here and alive, and they kiss and it goes from 0 to 100% passionate real quick! With TK showing Carlos he is more than okay and Carlos reminding TK that he is his and they are each other's and they are not allowed to go where the other can't follow! Carlos presses TK against the sink counter and both of them try to get Carlos out of his clothes too without having to leave each other's mouth for too long. Then the make their way over and stumble into the shower together, close the door and show the other just how much they love them 🥰. This kind of got away from me but I love where my mind went and we shall see what Lone Star actually has in mind for this steamy scene SOON!!

I DID receive my perfume and I was very happy with the purchase!! The scent is a little much for my partner, who has allergies and doesn't do well with most scents anyways, but I've been wearing a little on my wrist and neck whenever we go out of the house and I love the smell of it 🥰 I especially notice the jasmine and vanilla, with hints of the orange!

Now for TK, I think he found and started wearing this particular perfume a bit after he and Carlos officially started dating! We see in 1x10 that Carlos has loved putting his face in TK's neck very early on, and I bet he's always loved the way TK smells! He smells like a man with his natural musk mixed with whatever cologne/perfume he is wearing. But I can see TK wanting to make a change after accepting Austin and this new start with Carlos, and him finding a new, fresh cologne to signify that! I think he would have asked Carlos' opinion of the scent before actually using it and Carlos thought it was nice, but then TK actually put it on and the perfume mixed with his sweat and natural musk throughout the day absolutely drove Carlos wild! I bet Carlos could not keep his hands off of TK and constantly had his face in his boyfriend's neck the first day he wore that perfume, and TK finally caught on after a while and was all smug and like "Oh, do you like the way I smell, babe 😏?" And Carlos is like, "you have no idea." And then took him into the bedroom soon after and had his way with him. And I think an even bigger turn on for Carlos was when his own scent started to cling on and blend with TK's 🫠 It was physical proof and that primal feeling of, "This MAN is mine and I have claimed him with my scent and we smell like each other." Ahhh, you're making me lose my mind thinking about all of this 😂

THANK YOU for this nice ask, Mar and at least it's the weekend when I'm now answering this 🤣 I hope you have a fantastic weekend too❤️

[fruity-phrog]

ok hi i read ur anon post i agree w everything n now i NEEED 2 know allll of ur thoughts abt colinmichael + colin's arc and also if u have any colinjamie/ bi jamie or roy hcs. love love love ur blog!!!!!😌💓💓💓🫂

First off, the serotonin you two anons are giving me is insane, this is such a nice ask and I am very happy rn. Thank you for actively inviting me to discuss my hyperfixation.

So most of my thoughts are compiled in the aforementioned anon post, but I have more so here you go:

Since you mentioned Colin's arc, there's something I've noticed. Ever since Colin has been canonicalized as queer, and even before when people simply headcanoned him as queer, his entire arc and history has been pretty much erased. He's not just this closeted guy on the team. He was a dick to Nate for the most of s1 and maybe even some of s2, but then had an uno reverse card pulled on him and got bullied. His character was developed throughout the seasons, especially when Jamie left. He began to change and stopped being Isaac's cocky right hand man. This is something most people forget as he progresses, something I think we need to remember simply because it's a part of his character.

I think that when Isaac and Jamie find out Colin and Michael are dating they will not let Colin forget Michael's height. Isaac definitely makes fun of Colin's height even though he's the same height as Jamie, so for him to be dating a man smaller than him? Instant comedy.

As for bisexual Jamie... firstly, just look at that man. Singular dangly earring. Ridiculous sitting positions. Eyebrow slits. Istg if he turns up one day with black nail polish I'm gonna throw something at my computer. But also, I think he doesn't really understand attraction to men. Obviously, with a dad like that, he has his fair share of toxic masculinity hurting his chances of coming to terms with any kind of sexuality. But I feel like sometimes, maybe as a kid or maybe as an adult, he'll look at a man and feel something and immediately go "Nope this is jealousy I am jealous nope nope nope". Also he definitely had a crush on Roy as a kid. But I'm not to sure about Jamie x Roy in the present. They strike me as more big brother/little brother vibes, but I can definitely see where the shippers are coming from.

And since we're talking about gay Ted Lasso - Barbara 100% has a crush on Rebecca. It's just a fact. She has a crush on her. Maybe that will segway into bisexual Keely being brought back because even though it's already canon no one talks about it.

Actually, I'm going to touch on that as well. Keely is canonically bisexual. Colin wasn't the first queer character - Keely was. "If I'm going to dip my toes back into the lady pool, I can't think of a better body of water to do it with than you." I know it was played off as a joke but it's still canon. I'll actually be quite disappointed if they don't revisit that because the GA has completely ignored it. Keely. Jones. Is. Bisexual. This is a fact.

Okay I've once again diverged from the plot of the ask so I'll steer it back with a theory (kinda). I mentioned this briefly in a post but I really want Colin to stand up against Isaac and the team's comments. Nothing much, just "That's rude". And when Isaac jokes about if Colin's gay, he just says "Yeah. I am. And I want you to stop it". He needs to address the things he said to stay in the closet and I'd love it to be like that.

I actually wrote a random fluff oneshot for Colin coming out. I still think he'll be outed, but I'd love for him to have some control before that happens.

Okie that is my rant. Thank you for asking, and thank you for the compliment about my blog! Have a nice and gay day <3