scribblesandchai

[scribblesandchai]

Some Things Never Change (Squealing Santa 2024)

Summary: While Leo works towards recovery, Raph takes it upon himself to lift his big brother’s spirits.

Author’s Notes: This is for you, Tortoise Anon! I hope you like what I’ve come up with! 2012 was the show I most actively watched as a child, so I was so excited to do some writing for it! This takes place sometime after season 2 episode 26; warnings battle-related trauma, loss of identity and general angst.

Even with Leo conscious again, it was clear it would take a long time for the turtle to fully recover, if a full recovery was even possible to begin with. His muscles had weakened from his months spent stagnant in the bathtub; Donnie said he was lucky they hadn’t atrophied more, considering how long they had went without use. Holding anything that weighed more than a carton of milk took immense effort, and Leo found himself struggling with tasks he once found as easy as breathing. Cleaning and sharpening his katanas, an activity Leo once found great comfort in, now left the eldest brother frustrated and exhausted after fumbling to properly hold the blades within his weakened fingers.

The nightmares weren’t fun, either. It felt like an every time he closed his eyes, memories would replay in his mind over and over like a broken VHS. A flash of silver claws, Splinter’s pained gasps, pain erupting from every inch of Leo’s battered body, a hand grasping harshly at his throat and stealing his breath away. He knew the others were aware of them; how could they not be when he awoke screaming every other night? Leo was mortified; his brothers had been through enough, the last thing they needed was to see their big brother crumble into tears from a few nightmares.

And then there was his voice. His larynx had been damaged so severely that his voice had been permanently altered. Of all of the injuries he had sustained, it had been the one to bother him the most. Every time he opened his lips, he would be greeted with a voice that was not his own, a stranger’s inflections and tenor resonating from within him like he was some kind of puppet. Realistically, Leo knew he should have been grateful. After all, the Shredder could have left him permanently mute. However, his voice had been a part of him, an aspect of his identity that was now stripped away for good. He felt violated, a sickness pooling in the pit of his stomach every time he had to speak.

It wasn’t him, and yet, it was.

His brothers had each tried to console him in their own way. Donnie had assured him that, perhaps with time, his throat would heal enough for his real voice to start coming back, an assurance that both turtles knew wasn’t true. Mikey had told him that his new voice sounded cool, like a movie star or Captain Ryan. The thought was nice, but Leo hardly saw the comparison. And then there was Raph, who merely chose not to acknowledge it, treating Leo like he always had, albeit with a subtle gentleness that hadn’t been present before. Leo liked his approach best, though it still did little to ease his mind.

Raph had also taken it upon himself to "whip his fearless leader back into shape," as he put it. This meant getting up at the crack of dawn and spending hours relearning how to wield his katanas, how to dodge attacks, how to do basic training exercises that had once come to Leo as easy as blinking. It was frustrating, yes, but part of the turtle couldn't help but appreciate Raph's refusal to coddle him. While the red masked brother was definitely being gentler than he normally would, he still made sure to give Leo a decent fight. He wasn't treating him like he was fragile, unafraid to smack Leo in the back of the head or sweep his knees out from under him (only when they were training over a soft surface like grass, though, a detail Leo failed to notice).

"Come on, Leo! Get up and hit me!" Raph urged as Leo found himself once again getting knocked flat on his ass. The blue masked turtle let out a small huff, his muscles aching. The familiar burn of exertion was welcome after what felt like ages of stagnation, but that didn't make it anymore comfortable.

"Easy for you to say." Leo retorted, slowly pulling himself back onto his feet. "Donnie said it could be months before I can go toe to toe with MIKEY, more or less YOU."

"Excuse, excuses." Raph tutted, though a playful smile was tugging at his lips. "The Leo I know wouldn't let that stop him. Come on, you know you wanna knock me down, so DO IT!"

Leo huffed, a small chuckle slipping past his lips as he rolled his eyes. "You have no idea..." He reassumed his fighting position, katanas held in his shaky grip. He was getting better at handling them again, at the very least, a small comfort for the turtle. It felt good to be able to lift the shining blades again, the sun reflecting off the metal in a way Leo had always found beautiful.

Raph’s grin widened as he squared up, getting into a defensive stance. “That’s the spirit! C’mon, I won’t bite! Might kick your ass, though!” He teased.

Leo’s brow furrowed as he took a few tentative steps forward, his muscles still stiff from the hours of training. Each movement was calculated and slower than it had been in the past, but the sensation of his katanas in his hands, light as they were, his grip not quite as firm as it used to be, still brought a flicker of something familiar. Despite his body’s limitations, Leo wanted to fight. He needed to fight.

So he pushed through, using what little strength he had to swing one katana toward Raph’s side, but his arm faltered just as he reached the apex of the move. The blade wavered, and in that instant, Raph’s fist was already headed for Leo’s chest, sweeping his feet out from under him once again.

Thud.

“Nice try, Leo.” Raph chuckled, offering Leo a hand to help him up.

Leo glared up at his brother as he was pulled to his feet, a mix of frustration and reluctant admiration in his eyes. “You’re getting way too good at this.”

Raph’s expression softened for a moment, his usual teasing smirk giving way to a more understanding look. “Hey, we’ll get there. I know it sucks right now, but you’ve already come a long way.”

“Not far enough,” Leo muttered, brushing himself off. He wiped the sweat from his brow and sighed. “I used to be so much better than this. I used to-”

“Used to be.” Raph cut him off, his voice firm but not unkind. “But you’re still you, Leo. And you’re gonna get back to where you were. I’m not gonna let you quit.”

Leo couldn’t help but feel a strange mixture of gratitude and guilt. His brother was putting so much effort into helping him recover, but it still felt like a huge mountain to climb. And Leo wasn’t sure how much longer he could keep pretending that everything was okay.

Before he could voice another doubt, Raph slapped him on the back hard enough to make Leo stumble forward a bit, his muscles protesting with the sudden movement. “Quit lookin’ like a sad puppy, bro. You’re tougher than this.”

Leo gave him a half-smile, appreciating Raph’s attempt to lift his spirits. “You’ve been a real pain lately, you know that?”

“Yeah, well, someone’s gotta be. You think Mikey’s gonna be serious about your training?” Raph snorted. “Dude’s idea of a workout is eating pizza and watching cartoons.”

Leo snickered despite himself. "Yeah, but he's still in better shape than me right now."

"Only 'cause he's never had to use his brain like you do." Raph grinned again, nudging him with his elbow. "And speaking of that, you're not getting off that easy today. We’re doing a new drill."

Leo’s heart sank. “I don’t know, Raph…”

“Ohoho no. You’re not getting out of this one.” Raph’s eyes glinted with that mischievous look Leo knew all too well. “We’re gonna do some target practice. But there’s a twist.”

“A twist?” Leo raised an eyebrow, clearly suspicious.

Raph cracked his knuckles with a grin. “Come on, Leo. You’ve been on edge lately, acting all stiff and wound up. Maybe trying some evasion moves is just what you need; it won't hurt to take a break from the katanas for a bit.”

“Alright, I'm game. But what exactly is the "twist" supposed to be?" Leo replied with a small sigh, shoulders slumping in defeat.

Raph chuckled, stepping closer. “Tickling. When I catch you, and I WILL catch you, I get to tickle ya to tears.”

Leo's eyes shot wide open, the turtle nearly stumbling over his own feet as he started quickly backing away. "W-What? No! That's stupid!" He yelped. He raised his katanas defensively, though the motion was slow and clearly less effective than it once would’ve been. "Besides, I'm not even that ticklish!" He tried, though even as he said it, his voice sounded more like a challenge than a declaration.

“Sure you’re not.” Raph teased, inching closer with exaggerated steps. “But we both know the truth, don’t we? You're worse than Mikey!”

Leo’s eyes widened. “No, Raph. Don’t-”

Before Leo could even react, Raph pounced, both hands swooping in to gently but relentlessly grab Leo’s sides, fingers wiggling into the ribs that were still tender from weeks of little movement. The instant Raph’s fingers made contact, Leo erupted into a mixture of gasps and chuckles, unable to contain the burst of laughter that surged through him. His body tensed instinctively, trying to block Raph’s hands, but the tickling was too much.

“Rajahahahahahahahaph! No!” Leo gasped through a laugh, stumbling backward again as his brother pursued him relentlessly. “You...yohohohohou’re...not fuhuhuhuhuhunny!”

“I think I am!” Raph shot back, his voice light but affectionate, as his hands moved to poke at Leo’s belly. "Coochie coochie cooooo, big brother!"

Leo’s legs wobbled as he attempted to dodge, but the effort was half-hearted. His body was too drained, and the laughter kept coming, louder than he expected. He hadn’t realized just how much tension he was holding until Raph started getting him good, and the laughter was his body’s way of releasing all the stress.

“Raph, stahahahahahap! Cuhuhuhuhuhut it ohohohout, nooooohohohohooo!” Leo managed, his voice much lighter now, his serious, grim demeanor cracking. "I cahahan't-"

But Raph was relentless, his hands moving expertly from Leo’s sides to his ribs, then lower, making sure to hit every vulnerable spot.

After a few minutes, Leo had completely forgotten about the weight of his muscles, the pressure of his injuries, and even the weight of his self-consciousness. He was too busy laughing, the kind of full-bodied laughter that came from the depths of his chest, the kind he hadn’t allowed himself to have in months.

Finally, when Leo thought he was about to pass out from laughing so hard, Raph pulled away, his hands raised in mock surrender.

“Alright, alright. I’ll give you a break, Fearless Leader.” Raph said, breathing slightly heavier from his own effort. “But I gotta say, you look a lot less like you’re about to collapse and a lot more like yourself right now.”

Leo panted, still chuckling, wiping his eyes. “I hate you...” He wheezed.

“Yeah, yeah. Tell me that when you’re not laughing,” Raph smirked, extending a hand to help Leo back to his feet. “Come on. We’ve got a long road ahead. But, hey, if you need me to remind you how much I love tickling you, just say the word.”

Leo stared at his brother for a long moment, his breathing slowly returning to normal. He could feel the warmth of the laughter still bubbling inside him, the weight of it lightening his heart.

“Maybe I won’t. Not for a while.” Leo gave him a shaky, genuine smile.

“Good,” Raph said with a grin, and for the first time in a long time, Leo believed that things would get better.

Even if it meant enduring a little more tickling along the way.

[scribblesandchai]

This is a gentle, earnest reminder to anyone who needs to hear it that no matter what the media tries to tell you, no matter how fearmongering some people try to be, no matter what happens in this one election, it will be okay. Please don't lose hope if your candidate doesn't win. The world will not end no matter who gets into office. Some people want us to be afraid and at each others' throats, but hating each other isn't going to make things better or solve our problems. We're all people and we all have value.

If things get too stressful, you are not weak or wrong to take time for yourself, away from the news and the yelling, and focus on all of the beautiful, good things in your life that aren't going away. Family. Friends. Sunshine. Your favorite snack. Pretty colors. Pets. Those funny memes. That show you like. A warm beverage.

Rest. Humans are not meant to carry every weight of the world on their shoulders at once. Allow yourself to trust and believe that there is still good in the world no matter who is in office.

[scribblesandchai]

Since I finally have this blog up and running, I want to start off with a quick disclaimer. Minors, please do not interact with me. I am an adult and not comfortable with talking to anyone under the age of eighteen, especially about tickle related stuff. Thank you and have a good day!