#definitely gonna be checking out Ninth House too

[molloytheboy]

This is really good u guys highly recommend got halfway through it today

[vivianbernadetteaurora]

CAPRICORN VENUS STYLE 🥀🎩🦋🪐

The Capricorn Venus style ,can really go one of two ways, and the young years and you’ve got to remember Capricorn is young from a very young age I mean sorry I mean old so the older years could be there mid 20s for them. They’re old years might be their mid 30s, but depending on the Capricorn and their placements around that so you’re gonna have a Capricorn Venus, you can be a Capricorn and Aquarius and a Pisces, or you can be a Sagittarius a Scorpio, so like I said, blend all those signs together, and this is what you may come out with case example, Britney Spears, Britney Spears was done up to the nines when she was younger, and she always put her way into the photo shoot or style, even in her first video and first magazine cover baby one more time she had the idea of wearing the school skirt, the unbutton shirt and having the Teletubby, yes I know yes I know creative genius, but you’re also giving that Jupiter Arian vibe to it because she’s a Sagittarius she’s all about pushing boundaries and being a rebel and being out there the Capricorn Venus is saying no rain in a bit, so when you see Brittany on her days out and she used to have her extension scraggly a bit or should be eating junk food and have a skin breakouts, people need to remember that Saturn is very similar planet to Pluto in the fact that you’re gonna learn very hard lessons with that planet and it has that deep energy they may be two different types of learning energy like growing up and transformation with these two objective planets. They’re both planets malignant planets so we both see her style as a street style and her country style roots excuse the pan, but you’re also going to see her dolled up red carpet look which I’m sure should have input too, but when I take these and cheesy pictures I tried to do their street style because I know that’s more of the real them.

Then you have someone like ice spice, who I know as a Capricorn son I’m not sure if she’s a Capricorn Venus, but the style is still coming out. That’s why I say always check your landline annual rising sign with the Venus and she will this Betty Boop costume around Halloween her bottom, was literally hanging out you could see the crack everything,  these of you that want to say Capricorn is all about class and elegance. I’m so afraid you’re not always correct there case. In point of my own experience my mother always dressed quite quickly. She still does a bit now but she’s in her 60s one night in the 90s maybe early 2000s but definitely between 99 or 2001 she went on a night out and my sisters were so embarrassed by what she was wearing, she has a lot of fifth house energy to say there’s a Leo thing of wanting to be noticed, and I loved her outfit being a Leo rising in the first house sun, and she had the sparkly shoes on that she sprayed. She was in like amateur dramatics, and she was going on a night out with my auntie and she was like all sparkly. I can’t remember exactly but she had like tights and everything was done up on the ninth, but they thought it was tacky and they made fun of her and I always stuck up for my mum is the youngest child of loved it. I love the weird things that she did but I’m telling you people and this is going in there because people need to hear this…. When somebody dresses out there and put an effort in their clothes and they may be bright, they may be sparkling. They may be weird they may be whatever they like that it’s like how you dress normally or how you dress traditionally how you dress structured how you dress in whatever way you dress if somebody dresses out there, do you not make fun of their clothes because that is how they’re expressing that so a lot of the time same as someone wears a lot of make up by guarantee you if you’re one of these people, you’ve had, it said to your whole life and you start of getting bored of it.

Then we have Meg Megan Thee Stallion. She loves the Mugla suit in her building Mugla suit on the carpet. This is a definition of somebody who really dressed as well where she wears a clothes and the clothes don’t wear her. She’s kind of like a young younger Rihanna to me and the way she does this, but she really does her own and whoever said Capricorn weren’t creative watching or reading my video about it, not my video, my blog because Saturn, although it may rule like finances and reputation, and things like that think Capricorn rules create it rules status it will symbol, so these people are going to have a really good idea of what looks good for the status and the symbol and they know that and they know how to market themselves and anyone who is a celebrity a lot of the time has these Capricorn, Saturn act aspects so although she can be like that and she can have her outbreaks and stuff she still knows how to do it like a beast and like a goat, she is the greatest of all time and she always will be so here. I’ve given you another example, Kasha casually went through a lot of trauma. Kia is a Pisces, so we see a bit more of like that sparkle vibe to it like I was saying with my mum, the glitter she calmed it down a bit she’s got older she’s not being marketed as much but she still gives off that vibe and she can turn her suit into a business suit, but they market people in a certain way. That’s why it’s hard to do these Venus videos, sometimes because you’re seeing how they stylist might dress them not how they dress them. I know they have some interest or some creative progress to it, but I rather see their street style and here you go sat in Capricorn and I really know you know how to switch it up when you need to and you can also pull off the bad go look and do that be you don’t let anyone tell you that you’re not creative because you definitely have that and you have the epic to be creative for a long period of time I’m really put your all into an outfit or whatever you do in your artistic ways because you have the determination of Saturn backing you in that Venus way, it could be your art of drawing it could be an art of photography. It could be an art of music, but you have that stamina and that’s great and I think it’s really beautiful all of these examples I’ve given for you.

[collecting-stories]

Jolly Rancher - JJ Maybank

Request: Hey! Do you think you could do an imagine where the reader is Sarah’s twin and all the pogues are at a party or on the boat and her blood sugar drops really low (she has type one diabetes) and her pump keeps beeping. She is mid passing out, not feeling good and rafe has her Insulin so little bit of big brother rafe worried about his little sister and JJ and her not being together yet but he was super worried about her (like all of the pogues tbh). Thanks xxxx I really love your writing 🥺 every time you post something it makes my day

A/N: I did moderate research for this because the only person I actually know with diabetes is a cousin I don’t speak to. 

Outer Banks Masterlist

✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰

In hindsight, taking the Druthers out in the bay for a party after sunset wasn’t exactly the best idea you and Sarah had ever come up with. And yeah, technically, taking the boat out would have been totally fine and acceptable but none of you had considered bringing anything but alcohol with you. Six pogues (two honorary) on a yacht in the middle of the bay with just alcohol and weed. It was a bad combination in any version of the world but especially in this one, where you’d been pregaming white claw because you were finally, finally, gonna tell JJ how you felt about him.

The crush had been a saga ongoing since you had first discovered JJ Maybank, which coincided with discovering that boys, while terrible, were incredibly attractive. And sometimes...not too terrible. John B had started working for your family the summer before highschool and at the same time JJ started to pop up. Around the Druthers when John B was cleaning the boat, in a neighbor’s yard mowing the grass or cleaning the pool. And then at the Island Club. By then you’d started hanging out with Kiara and her friends and JJ wasn’t just some cute guy who was friends with John B.  

“Honey,” Kiara laughed, reaching for the can of Naturdays in your hand, “I think you need to slow down.”  

“I’m fine.” You promised, knee jerking rapidly as you gulped the rest of the drink down before Kiara could take it from you.  

You weren’t a heavy drinker. The last time you’d gotten drunk was in ninth grade, at a house party on the cut with Kiara. You’d guzzled down one too many Pabst trying to act cool in front of JJ and had ended up in the hospital in diabetic shock. Once everyone was sure you weren’t going to die, your father had laid into you about how irresponsible you were and how you had acted like a child. It was embarrassing, mostly because you were still saddled to a hospital bed and your friends were standing in the hallway, well within ear shot of Ward.  

After that, you stayed away from anything more than two drinks at a party and you always kept your insulin with you. Except, apparently, for tonight. You’d gotten yourself worked up over confessing your feelings to JJ and the possibility of rejection that you were well on the way to drunk. And your insulin was in your backpack, in Rafe’s truck.  

“You’re not fine.” Kiara laughed, “you’re like, buzzing.”

“Buzzing,” you offered her a dopey smile as you leaned forward, whirling your pointer finger around as you made buzzing noises and tried to poke her.  

“What the hell?” She swatted your hand away, “are you sure you’re okay?”

The commotion was enough to get Sarah’s attention and she turned away from John B to look over at the two of you. “You’re like vibrating babe,” Sarah said, “you’re really jittery.”

“Fine, I’m fine...I’m all good.” You promised, bracing your hand on Sarah’s shoulder as you went to stand up. You missed your footing, tripping over the air and hitting the deck before either Kiara or Sarah could catch you.  

“Oh my god!” Kiara got down on her knees next to you and helped you sit up, leaning partially against her. She pushed your shirt up so that she could check your pump and noticed realized it had been going off. “Hey, do you have like...something to boost her blood sugar? I think it’s dropping really low, I can’t really read this?”

“It’s definitely low.” You replied, hands shaking as you checked your pump, “yeah...too much...too much alcohol.”

“Where’s your insulin?” Sarah asked, crouching down so she could try to meet your eyes, “hey, look at me, where’s your insulin?”  

You hummed, a little too long before finally looking at Sarah, “uh, Rafe’s...shit, Rafe’s truck.”

“Are you kidding me? Fuck!” Sarah cursed, getting up to grab her phone so she could call him, “John B, can you take us back?”

“Yeah, yeah,” he nodded, heading for the ladder.  

“Here!” JJ pushed through Pope and Kiara, spilling the contents of his backpack onto the deck beside you. Amongst a change of clothes, some pilfered pens, his wallet, house keys, weed, a stick of deodorant, and a travel toothbrush, was a bag of jolly ranchers. He grabbed a green one out and unwrapped it, holding it out to you, “here, it’ll make you feel better.”

“You have a bag of jolly ranchers in your backpack?” Kiara asked incredulously.

“Of course,” JJ replied, “if her sugar drops she said one jolly rancher usually does the trick.”  

It was a stupid thing to smile about, especially since you were currently using Kiara to hold yourself up and sucking on green apple jolly rancher, but you couldn’t help it. You had mentioned that ages ago, the first time you went out with the pogues after your drunken night turned ER visit, as you sat on the dock next to JJ. You had doubted he’d even cared and been embarrassed afterward for just rambling on about yourself but he remembered.

“You remembered,” you said as JJ sat beside you, letting you lean on his shoulder as the yacht headed back to the dock.  

Sarah had gotten a hold of Rafe quicker than she expected. He was already talking when he answered the phone, telling her that he was on the way back from Topper’s. According to Rafe he turned his truck immediately, that was what he told you later, when you were feeling more like yourself again. That he’d realized your backpack was still sitting on the passenger seat and he did a u-turn right there in the middle of the street. You weren’t sure that was totally true, your older brother’s pension for dramatics and your family’s obsession with treating you like a baby.  

Usually, it felt stifling but right now you were feeling pretty shitty about yourself. The jolly rancher did exactly what it was supposed to, boosting your blood sugar enough that you were beginning to feel better.  

“What were thinking?” Rafe called the minute he boarded the Druthers, “you know alcohol makes your blood sugar drop!”

“I know, I know!” You huffed, crossing your arms over your chest. You’d moved from the floor to the couch, JJ leaving your side the minute your brother ran up the jetty. “I’m not a kid Rafe,” you muttered, grabbing your backpack from him.

“Really? Cause you left your bag in my truck and you’re out here drinking your ass off.” He snapped.  

“She’s okay,” Sarah urged.

“What if she wasn’t?”

“I am! And I’m right here!” You huffed, “Rafe, thank you and I know you were worried but I’m okay.”  

Rafe sighed, running a hand through his hair, “I’m not trying to be dad here...but you can’t take risks like that, you know better.”  

“I’m fine!” You slung your backpack over your shoulder and pushed passed Rafe, climbing down the ladder to the jetty. You’d apologize later, for now you were irritable and embarrassed and you just wanted to be back in your room, locked in where no one could see you and remind you how horrible this entire night was. The only decent thing that had happened was JJ but the more you let yourself psychoanalyze everything that happened the more you were positive that the pogues just saw you as a kid too. Like you couldn’t take care of yourself. Like you hadn’t been for the last ten years, since you were diagnosed.  

The Druthers said docked but you couldn’t tell from your bedroom window if everyone had gone home or if they were still hanging out and partying. You thought about texting Sarah but she would just tell you to come back down to the dock and stop pouting in your bedroom. You did your usual checks, to make sure your blood sugar had gone back up, and changed into comfier clothes. Even scrubbing off your makeup...you’d let this shitty feeling die before you saw anyone again.  

Or at least, that was the plan. As you were sitting in bed though, a knock at your window startled you. Not just a tap but a full-on knock. You climbed out of bed and went to the window, laughing when you saw JJ standing on the small balcony off your room.  

“What are you doing here?” You mouthed, reaching for the lock so you could open the window.

He pointed to his ear and then shrugged his shoulders, “I can’t hear you.”

You rolled your eyes as you pushed the window open and sat on the sill, “What are you doing here JJ?” You were trying your best to calm your racing heart, the last thing you needed was to go into cardiac arrest in front of him too.

“You left the party.”

“Not exactly in a partying mood...I was being stupid tonight.”

He sat down on the windowsill beside you, facing out toward the backyard but turning to look at you, “hey, I’m stupid every night.”

“You know what I mean,” you laughed, “I’m so careful...I haven’t had a night that bad in a long time.”

“Why weren’t you? Careful, tonight, I mean.” He asked.  

“It’s stupid.” You put your hands on your knees and looked away from him. You’d hyped yourself up to crashing lows and now he wanted you to tell him why? “You should go back to the party.”

“Not really in the mood...can you believe it?” He laughed like it was nothing but you could hear the heaviness in his voice.

“Sorry.”

“It’s not your fault...I just meant. If you’re up here, I don’t really feel like hanging out down there.”

You bit down on your bottom lip and looked over at him, feeling just the slightest catch in your throat. For a second you thought this night was going to get even worse and you’d throw up...but instead you just started talking, words falling out with no control, “I pregamed with Sarah before we even got on the Druthers cause I told her I was gonna tell you tonight that I liked you but I was so nervous that you would tell me you didn’t wanna date me so I just kept drinking...” you said. You realized a moment later what the implication was, “not that its on you that my sugars dropped...or like, not that you have to say you like me just cause I almost passed out.”

“What if I do like you though?”  

“You do?” You asked, shifting more toward him, “seriously?”

“Yeah, seriously...why do you think I came all the way up here? Or carry around jolly ranchers? I like you...I’d do anything for you.” He replied.  

You couldn’t stop the smile on your face as you leaned closer to him, “oh well, now it’s definitely your fault.”  

He laughed, “let me make it up to you.”  

You nodded, standing up and climbing back through the window before holding your hand out for him. JJ was quick to his feet, taking your hand and pushing the window closed as he followed you further into your room.  

[eremiie]

𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐲 𝐛𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐝𝐚𝐲, 𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧!;

❥ 17k words | pure fluff | eren x reader

❥ eren’s birthday is in a couple days and what better way to celebrate it by hosting a party with your friends? only, you can’t help but feel a little stressed out and a litte nervous.

❥ authors note; don’t remind me that this is two days late, i know i know, i needed a break, but i hope you enjoy anyways >:)

4 days.

"connie, sasha! can you guys stop messing around for three seconds?"

connie and sasha turned around at the same time, your hand impatiently drummed against the counter as you gave them an irritated stare. your patience was growing thin as you wanted the outcome of this event to be perfect.

eren's birthday was a couple days away.

it wasn't always that you wanted to prepare events, as a matter of fact it stressed you out a little too much to do so. but, this was an event you wanted to take charge of— you wanted it to go perfect with the help of some of your closest friends.

you had met eren only the beginning of your first year in college— this year. it was the classic i need a roommate, so do you, so let's be roommates thing. it made things a little easier on you, bills were easier to pay, school was easier to get to, and eren brought more comfort to you.

he made you more social, introduced you to new friends, and became a role in your life.

sasha crossed her legs from her position on the floor, setting her arms on the table, clasping her fingers while she nodded her head hastily. "okay, i swear i'm listening now."

"sorry." connie murmured with a scratch of his head. he leaned forward on the coffee table, a look that said carry on staring at you as you stared at him.

you sighed, guilt creeping up on you for the harshness of your previous sentence. "...i didn't mean to sound aggressive, i'm sorry, i'm just kind of stressed." you rested your head on the palm of your hand as your eyes trailed over the sloppy notes scribbled on a piece of notebook paper armin tore for you.

the top of the paper was practically glaring at you "eren's birthday party!!!" slapped between the margins in led. you skimmed the notes, some of your friends name with a dash pointed to what they would handle in relation to the party. you gave the paper a grim look, as you almost couldn't read your own writing.

it couldn't go too wrong right? you felt as if eren was somewhat of a picky person but deep down you knew he'd love anything that his friends presented to him because of the sentiment and thought behind it. eren wasn't too difficult, so why were you stressing so much? you have a great group of friends beside you that were even willing to go through with this birthday party. what was bothering you?

"_____," armin's hand slid to your back, rubbing up and down in a comforting manner. he jolt you out of your thoughts, your head turning to the side to look at him.

a warm smile was on his face, blue eyes almost relaxing, almost putting you at ease. he removed his hand from your back and grabbed your hand that was in your lap, giving it a light squeeze. "you know, for one of eren's birthdays when he was a kid i made him a dirt cake and we sat outside and pretended to eat it." you couldn't help but giggle at the thought of a small eren and armin sitting in the grass playing with dirt. "he was happy enough to hang out with me and do that— he was also happy when mikasa embroidered him the letter E on a piece of cloth. he hung it on his backpack, i'm sure it's still back at his mom's house."

armin looked up to mikasa for confirmation and she nodded her head from behind him on the couch. she looked up to the ceiling, reminiscing on the small memory with a small smile as she fiddled with her fingers. "i'm sure eren would enjoy this just as much as a dirt cake."

"and a tiny E embroidery." mikasa added with a chuckle.

you let your hand smooth over the back of your neck and nodded. "yeah... yeah, he'll like it." you weren't sure if you were just saying that to reassure yourself or saying that because you meant it. either way, you picked up the mechanical pencil next to your elbow and began writing again.

"hitch," you repeated as you wrote down her name, your the end of your h flying as you lifted the pencil off of the paper.

hitch looked up at you from her phone. "what's up?"

"you know a lot of people." she looked up for a second tapping her chin, as if she was pondering.

"yeah... if i do say so myself, i'm a little popular." she shrugged her shoulders with a smirk and you rolled your eyes at her, the both of you letting out a small laugh.

"can you get the word out to some people you know eren knows?"

"who does eren know?"

"you know... besides us, maybe like..." you let your mind wander. eren wasn't the most social person but neither were you. in the least he was pretty known around campus, given his temper and his personality, not to mention his looks. he definitely got eyed around campus albeit only talking to a few people. you weren't surprised when someone waved hey to him while he was minding his own.

"i'm just messing, i'll figure out something." a light bulb went off in her brain, her eyes lighting up. "oh! i could even make a cute little digital flier to give them all the info— armin what's your address?" she had somewhat of a creative prowess that you were thankful for. always willing to help you with minor inconveniences whether it be your fashion choices, socializing with others, designing things, and much more.

armin began to tell her, his voice fading out as you looked towards sasha who now had her head laid down on the table, like you only moments ago. "sash," her eyes looked up to you and she picked herself up from the glass surface. "can you handle the cake and snack ideas?" you knew sasha would be the best bet for the food, especially considering she was currently taking a culinary arts program.

her eyes widened a bit, another haste nod of her head that made her hickory ponytail bounce with each up and down motion. "yeah, definitely! i have a friend that is really good at baking too, i could ask him for help on the cake."

you pointed the pencil in your hand towards sasha with a smile. "knew i could count on you, please spare enough for the party though."

she rolled her eyes hand reaching out to push your hand back down to the table. "shush, i was only gonna eat a couple bites of whatever we make— don't act like you've never treated yourself while cooking." you shook your head, looking back down to the paper and writing food and cake next to sasha's name hiding the small grin on your face. "caught!" she exclaimed, pointing at you with a snap of her fingers. "red handed!"

"oh, shush." you whipped your head behind you to look at jean who was sitting in between mikasa and hitch. "jean," and then to connie, next to sasha, his eyes low and his face straight— a clear look of boredom. "connie?"

the two boys answered with a small "hm?"

"can the three of us go for decorations like on..." you tapped the pencil in your hand to your chin. if eren's birthday was on the thirtieth, and you would be decorating on the twenty-ninth, you'd wanna get the decorations a little early on— better safe than sorry anyways. "twenty seventh or twenty eight?"

"decorations? this is gonna be fun." connie came more alive at the sound of decorations. with a  snicker, he rubbed his hands together like a classic villain in an old cliché movie.

"you guys are just coming with i'm not leaving y'all in charge of them. you'd fuck eren over."

"yeah? like how you wanna fu—" your hand slapped over connie's mouth faster than you could blink, connie's eyes going wide at the abrupt action and yours at the words that were beginning to spill over his lips. yes, you loved your friends but more often than not you couldn't stand them. sometimes you wondered if eren could've chose a better group of people to introduce you to. (in reality? you wouldn't trade them for the world.)

"no!" your response came out louder than you intended, the lot of your friends laughing. "can you not?" you turned back towards your paper, jotting down decorations beside jean and connie's names, your nose almost touching the white sheet with how close you were to it. the tingle of blood was flooding your cheeks and you took it upon yourself to take your time writing the date as well. "decorations, twenty eight."

"yes ma'am." jean replied clearing his throat with a small smirk on his face, glancing to connie before back to you. you sighed and rubbed your forehead.

"yes ma'am." connie repeated, small stifled chuckles trying to leave his quivering lips. you glared at him, and he tried not to smile, clearly dismissing how you were trying to kill him with a look.

armin spoke up, tapping your shoulder. "once you get the decorations stop by here, me and mikasa can help put them up the day of the party. you can come help too— make sure everything looks nice."

your attention was stolen, once again armin being the one who held it. "okay," decorating was already written next to mikasa and armin's names, but you marked the thirtieth next to it as well. "sasha, let's get the cake on the twenty-ninth so that it's closest to fresh as possible. i can come with right?"

"yeah, of course. i can pick you up that morning if you want me to."

that was perfect, you were practically beaming at the way everything was falling in place— everything felt as if it was falling in place, yes, but still your stomach flipped and your brain couldn't help but flood with the idea that something could go wrong.

you pushed the thoughts to the back of your brain and began to fold the paper in front of you neatly. "hitch, can i come over tomorrow? we can work on the digital fliers and figure out who to invite."

"sure, yeah, that's fine with me."

you pocketed the piece of paper and rose to your feet, pulling out your phone to check the time. you had been at armin and mikasa's place for four hours with your friends, and you had only been planning for a little bit— getting distracted was a hobby at this point. or maybe you were distracting yourself just because of the worry that the planning wouldn't go right.

"i'm gonna go," you stepped around the couch gingerly, avoiding the feet of your friends. "thank you guys."

armin followed your steps, standing up to trail after you. "i'll walk you to the door, the rest of them should be leaving soon too." he turned to the remainder, blonde brow rising over his eye. it wasn't a suggestion, you knew he'd be ushering them out the door soon enough.

"thank you, armin." not only thank you for a measly walk out the door, but a thanks to him helping you, keeping you at somewhat ease for the party. he was always so good to you— from helping you study when you needed it, talking to eren when he was upset with you. armin was always a shoulder to rely on, and you wouldn't have met him if it wasn't for eren. "thank you." you repeated under your breath as he opened the door for you.

the change in temperature as you stepped out the door felt better than it should have, the breeze hugged you tight, and you brought your hand to your chest as you stepped down the steps of armin's apartment.

you had a good set of friends on your shoulder, and a good plan in mind that you knew they'd help you with every step of the way. you breathed out through your nose and closed your eyes before turning back to the blonde, two calm oceans watching you with solicitude. "bye, armin." and another one of his warm smiles was thrown back to you as he waved and closed the door behind you.

when you returned to your apartment eren was asleep on the couch.

you moved as quietly as possible, shutting the door as quiet as you could muster. you slipped off your shoes and tiptoed over to the couch, every creak of the floor board felt like it could be heard no matter how quiet you thought you were being. although, when you peered down at eren's sleeping figure sprawled on the couch his eyes were still shut, he was still taken over by sleep.

even in his sleepy state his brows were still knit together, a small pout on his face as you listened to his slow breathing. his arm was supporting his head, the other one draped across his stomach and his hair wasn't in it's usual ponytail, hair messy and strewn about around his head and you almost wanted to let out a laugh at how cute he looked.

even though a bed probably would've been more comfortable, you didn't want to wake him. he looked pretty calm from where he was rested on the couch, eyes fluttering while they were still shut and lip twitching every now and then.

if you didn't know any better you would've bent down to place a kiss on his forehead, maybe the tip of his nose. or maybe you would've shook him awake and asked him to sleep beside you tonight. but you knew better and both of those options quickly dissolved from your mind before you could truly consider them.

instead, you took your time studying his pretty features until you felt like you studied long enough, almost surprised he didn't wake up, wondering why he felt like he was being watched. you spun on your heel and quietly creeped your way to your room, letting out a unsteady breath once you closed the door.

your back stayed pressed against the door as you looked at your feet. the chirp of an owl was almost too present, and if it wasn't for your thoughts you were sure you could've heard the television from your upstairs neighbor. you shook your head and face planted into your pillow, the bed bouncing up and down with the addition of your weight.

were you really worried about the birthday party? is that what was stressing you out?

the more you thought about it, the more it felt like a stupid party wasn't the sole root of your problems.

3 days.

you didn't even hear the sound of eren approaching you, too entranced with what was on your computer screen. when the rough pad of his finger tapped your shoulder you almost jumped out of your skin, your own finger moving quickly to switch tabs, your vision a blur and you not sure what you clicked before your head shot to face him. "eren!"

he put his hands up in mock surrender, glancing between you and your computer screen, intrigue in his green eyes. "what were you looking at?" of course that was the first thing he asked, that was just your luck.

you tapped your hands against the sides of your laptop, letting your gaze dart around the living room while eren waited a response that you were whipping up in your head. "a watch i'm gonna buy... for me."

"can i see it?" you almost rolled your eyes at how inconvenient that question was. your hand went to your mousepad, scrolling over to exit out of the tab, before looking back at eren. he narrowed his eyes as he literally watched you close out the tab in front of his face.

"no." your response was awkward— scratch that, the whole moment was awkward. "uh, what's up?" you shut your laptop as eren rounded the couch to come sit next to you. the weight of his body shifted you a bit, and his presence so close to you made you tense up slightly. his arm swinging over the back of the couch didn't help you either.

"didn't see you at all yesterday. when i woke up i checked your room and you were sleep." he checked on you? your heart practically skipped a beat at the simple sentence. you saw him almost everyday and have lived with him for almost a year now— why did he rack your nerves so much?

"yeah... i knocked out when i got home, but you were sleep when i got back anyways."

"where were you for so long?" genuine curiosity was present in his voice. "i was pretty bored here by myself, you know." his head tilted back to rest against the couch, his eyes still looking down at you as he let out an exaggerated breath.

you gave eren an uneven smile and crossed your arms. "with armin," you almost did a double take when eren's smile dropped.

"you left me to go to armin's house?"

"...i didn't think you wanted to come!" your voice came off defensive, and you quickly lowered it the nearer your sentence came to an end.

eren squinted his eyes at you, if looks could talk his would be calling you an idiot. he brought his head off the couch and leaned forward. any closer and he would be able to hear your heart thrumming in your chest. "you didn't think i wanted to come to armin and mikasa's house... you know, my childhood friends?"

when eren repeated your words back to you they did sound pretty dumb. you frowned, not sure if you were frowning at the boy in front of you or the stupidity of your sentence. your words tangled in your throat as they tried to form, mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water. eren leaned back, and you felt yourself gain control again, your heart quieting. "it was a last minute thing, i had to go to grab some notes from him and we got carried away."

"you and armin don—"

"mikasa! grab some notes from mikasa. calculus... calculus notes."

almost on cue, your phone buzzed from between the couch cushion beside you and your hand fumbled to find it, pulling it up once your phone was in between your fingers. you turned your phone up right, the blue light shining on your face as you read the small segment of the message hitch sent you. your finger swiped and your thumb unlocked your phone as you read the remainder of the text.

march 27th, 2:53pm

⤷ finished studying. you can be on your way!!!

⤷ i'll be omw in like 10

you looked back up to eren, his eyes already rested on your face. when you stood up from the couch, he still watched you as you maneuvered around the small space of the apartment clumsily. "i'm gonna be on my way to hitch's." you told him, grabbing your keys from the kitchen table and slipping on your crocs that were under it.

"you didn't have enough fun with armin yesterday?" when your head turned to look at him, his was giving you a bored stare, head hanging backwards over the couch, the flyaways around his face pointing towards the ground.

you stiffened at his statement, but nevertheless continued to move, your jacket coming over your arms and your phone slipping into the pocket of your sweats. "grabbing notes isn't fun, i won't be at hitch's for long either. you'll probably be home when i get back."

he pushed off the couch, taking long strides towards you with his hands buried in his own pockets. when he was but a few feet away, he stopped, and your eyes washed over his body. black t-shirt clinging to his skin and the band of his boxers playing peek-a-boo from where they sat a little above his sweatpants. when you snapped out of your thoughts and looked up the door was being held open for you, eren trying to suppress his small smile. "nope, probably gonna go hang out with someone."

"who?"

"you don't know her."

"oh..." you tucked your lip in between your teeth and opened the door wider for yourself. "okay, see you." and when the door shut behind you it somewhat startled you, and the walk to your car felt a little longer than usual.

the drive to campus felt a little longer than usual too.

when you did arrive the walk to her dorm was like expected, you made your way through the hallways, up the steps until you were standing in front of her dorm. your hand rapped her door a few times, a "hold on!" being yelled out to you once you stopped.

typical, the sound of rustling was coming from the other side and you heard her footsteps come closer until the door swung open. "here, here." she huffed out, opening up the door more so you could slip past her and into her room.

right off the bat you knew which side was hers— not that it wasn't your first time, just that she made it painfully obvious.

her clothes were scattered across the floor, and it was almost as if an invisible line was dividing her and her roommates side. a stack of papers and books on top of her desk, light from the lamp behind it struggling to shine through the stack. the other side of the desk looking pristine and neat— if you swiped your finger over top there wouldn't be a trace of dust. posters adorned above her bed as well as a small tapestry. "i see you tried to clean up before i got here."

"something like that," she waved you off, shutting the door behind her and rushing over to her bed to throw a couple pillows down then hopping up on it, patting the space beside her. "you know, i got some of the information down for the flier, i made it look pretty and shit last night i just need you to tell me a few more things."

you slipped off your shoes and hopped onto her bed as well, scooting back and pulling your knees to your chest as she scrolled through her phone.

"look," the device was shoved in your face, making you blink a few times as you waited for the screen to steady, a sage green flier with many small words looking back at you.

your hand wrapped around the phone, and hitch let go to watch your face. "you like?"

"happy birthday eren!" was big and bold dark green lettering, the title for the flier, while an old picture of eren sat to the side that made you let out a snort. beside it was the date and time for the event, as well as armin's address spanning across the middle of the flier from one end of it to the other. your eyes went back to the photo, but before you could get a good look at it hitch abruptly grabbed the phone back. "you don't like it?" a frown was on her face, and she inspected the image on her phone. "different color? is that what it is?"

you pursed your lips and leaned back against her wall. "i didn't say that— and the color is fine..." you stared at your knees as you remembered one of the first times you went into eren's room while he was sick. a tattered dark green cover was draped over his body and when you had pushed him about the condition of the cover— frayed ends and a few small holes here and there, he had told you it was an old gift from his mom and that he liked the color.

"hey," when you looked back up to hitch she wasn't to your side anymore, instead seated criss cross in front of you, hands in her lap and her phone discarded to her side. "what's up?"

you gave her a questioning glance before fiddling with your fingers that were propped up on your knees. there was nothing up with you— could you not do a little thinking? "nothing?"

"girl, please," she looked to her phone, it isolated on top of her sheets the green flier being the centerpiece of the screen. her fingers went to press the power button until the device went black, and your eyes couldn't be on it anymore, forced to give your attention to hitch. "is it about eren? you seemed to really like the picture of him on my phone, even though i stole that from our high school yearbook. he looks off with short hair doesn't he?"

come on— you couldn't possibly get any more predictable than this. "i was just thinking about his favorite color." which wasn't a lie, you were, your thinking just happened to go deeper than just his favorite color.

"you cannot lie to save your life..." hitch threw her head back as she began to laugh at you, her short hair bobbing on her shoulders as her hand came up to cover her mouth while her laughs died down. "favorite color my ass. what is up for real?" hitch knew you liked eren, they practically all did... except for eren himself.

your head fell into the space created between your knees and chest, and you groaned. "i don't even know myself. he just, he just—" a sound of frustration left your mouth, but was muffled by your legs. "i want this to go well for him." you picked your head up, but you weren't satisfied with your answer. by the way hitch looked at you, you could tell she wasn't either.

"keep going, i'm still listening." hitch's head nodded slowly, a reassuring nod— telling you it was okay to keep speaking, her ears were open to hear you out.

"i want this party to go well for him, of course i do; but after today i feel so dumb for putting so much time into it. maybe i'm overthinking it but i told eren i hung out with armin and he told me he was going to hang out with some girl i didn't know, and it just... i guess rubbed me wrong— so now i feel like i'm putting all my time into this for him and it'll kind of just mean nothing, all my time into planning this party that i feel like is stupid. i feel stupid."

it was like a dam broke, your words had flooded out, and you had said more than you wanted to, yet it still wasn't enough. hitch was satisfied— but you? you were not.

she grabbed some of your hair, pulling your head up by it. surprise danced across her features, surprised to see you weren't weeping, albeit your voice sounding shaky when you spoke. "i haven't seen eren pull anybody ever since we were in high school together, i doubt he all of a sudden has a girl or whatever." she gave you a half smile, hands coming up to grab yours, and your legs slid down into a criss cross position as well.

"plus the party isn't stupid and you're not stupid. it's not about how you feel about eren, it's about giving him and us a good time for his birthday. did you forget that it's for his birthday? shit, if you don't wanna plan it, i will— admissions gonna equal a bottle of booze." her chuckle was contagious and your lips couldn't help but upturn as you let one out too.

"listen, whenever i have a crush on someone i just go for it, you know? just tell him. maybe he was just trying to get you jealous or something." she shrugged her shoulders, while she played with your hands that were enveloped in hers.

"we live together, i don't wanna make it weird."

'it'll only be weird if he says no."

"which is a big possibility."

hitch glanced off to the side before letting her eyes settle on you again, her lips shifting as she looked for what to say. "um... but he could say yes too. you won't know if you don't ask. if you're not willing to move forward and take the risk you don't like him that much. if he says no eventually the two of you will go back to normal anyways." you did like him that much, you were just an anxious mess. especially when he was around; which was quite ironic considering you spent most of your time around him.

you let hitch's words sink into your flesh as you stared at her thumb smoothing over the soft skin of your hand. she wasn't totally wrong, you wouldn't know unless you asked, and nothing would really happen until you asked either.

"do what you will with that information." hitch cleared her throat, letting go of your hands and shuffling to sit beside you, grabbing her phone on the way, then turning around to sit her back against the wall as well. a thick silence fell over the two of you, and if it wasn't for how close both of you were it would've been awkward— for you, it was you and your thoughts talking, but for hitch?

"so... who are we inviting again?"

2 days.

"what do you think of these?" you flipped over the packet of balloons examining the details scribbled on the back, waiting for a response— but to no avail. you didn't receive one.

you turned around, expecting to see a nest of ash brown hair hovering over you as well as doe hazel eyes, but jean and connie were nowhere to be found. a groan of annoyance left your lips and you slipped the packet of balloons into the shopping basket that was hooked around your arm. "i guess these will do."

today felt slow, no progress felt like it was made albeit you running around a family dollar looking for simple birthday decorations, while your friends ran around looking for only God knows what.

you weren't sure if it was because this task was somewhat easy, or maybe because in a couple hours you'd be returning to your shared apartment with eren, continuing to sneak around as if you weren't planning an event. continuing to have to ignore his questions when you'd come in a little later than you usually do, because if you had said you were hanging out with one of your mutual friends he'd look at you funny— ask why you didn't take him with you.

he wasn't wrong, his friends were his friends before they were yours; he is the one who introduced you to them, you all of a sudden devising your own plans with them and seemingly having the time of your lives while he sat back at home of course rubbed him weird.

he didn't question you too much though.

he knew his birthday was coming up— he might be dense but he wasn't completely stupid. although he had no direct hint to you planning anything for him, his friends planning anything for him, the lack of mention of his birthday being soon was almost alarming. he hoped your running around without him had at least a little to do with his birthday.

and for that you thanked him, because besides your little crush on him, the whole mess surrounding his birthday made your stomach churn, having to keep something from him for so long racked your nerves and made it even harder to be around him just in case something accidentally slipped.

you dragged your feet to the isle next to you, peering down it to see the two boys you were looking for, jean and connie. you noticed them before they noticed you, connie's hands grabbing at something and throwing it in the basket in jean's hands. "guys," you said loud enough for them to hear, both of their heads whipping to look to you.

both of them slowly made their way towards you until you met in the middle of the aisle, your arm crossed and your lips pursed. "looking for decorations was fun by myself." your tone was sarcastic, and connie caught on nose scrunching at your comment, his hand coming out to pat your shoulder.

"listen, listen— i was getting eren's birthday present!" he replied, giving you a crooked smile.

your eyes darted between connie, jean and the small basket in his hands, dumbfounded. were you missing something? you didn't see a "birthday present" anywhere. you glanced back up to connie, confusion littered on your face. "where?"

connie's smile dropped, quickly turning into a frown and jean let out a short chuckle, connie glaring at him. he pointed towards the basket, then grabbing it and tilting it towards you. "snacks, and candy and shit. who doesn't like snacks?"

you looked into the basket, and inside was an arrangement of snacks— none that you could remember eren eating, maybe besides the flimsy bag of potato chips and sour gummy worms. "it's the thought that counts." you mumbled mostly to yourself, but both the boys in front of you heard, connie rolling his eyes and letting go of the basket.

it was ironic, because if it was just the thought that counted to you maybe you wouldn't be stressing so much over the party you were in the midst of planning. you wish you could take your own advice, and maybe be like connie and do something simple for eren without beating yourself up too much.

"shut up— we need to get a bag for it." connie mutters, but you knew he wasn't genuinely upset, he could care less what you thought of his present. if it was something he enjoyed it was most likely eren would enjoy it too. at least that's what he told himself.

"we need to get everything else for the party too— you guys left me when i was looking for balloons." your hands flew out from your sides, clearly exasperated with their lack of care for stranding in you in the isle over without a word.

"we didn't leave you, we just went an aisle over to get his gift."

"so you left me?" connie's eyes slide over to jean, who walked past the two of you, clearly trying to leave the store as soon as possible, or maybe dissociate himself from the small ruckus you were creating in the middle of the store.

"technically, no..." he murmured, walking past you as well, and you brought your hand to your forehead before speeding up your pace to catch up to jean, walking beside him instead of behind with connie.

the three of you walked in silence until you reached the decorations aisle, fingers brushing over the arrangement of decor, but you were mainly focused on the miscellaneous decorations, party streamers, tissues, table covers, and much more you couldn't name.

"jean?" he looked down at you, standing next to your figure who was crouched on the floor to be head on with the decorations seated on the small bottom shelf.

"what's up?"

you picked up two packs of table covers, in each of your hands, standing up and examining both packages, the only difference being the colors. "which one?"

jean took the white pack from your hands, turning it over then grabbing the dark green pack from your hands and looking it over as well. "they're both nice to me." he shrugged. he didn't see why the color of the table covers, or any decoration mattered so much. like you he knew eren wasn't too picky, yet you still continued to try to perfect every aspect of this party.

"well, which one do you think eren would like?"

jean furrowed his eyebrows at you, dropping both packages into the basket in your hands opposed to his— although he was helping with the party he wouldn't be paying for anything he didn't need to. "eren wouldn't care, _____."

you sighed, eyes drifting down to the new contents of your basket. "yeah, but—"

"just get both, and decide when we go there, he'll like either."

you fiddled with your hands, nodding your head and walking past jean to the party streamers— you didn't ask for his opinion, reckoning you'd get the same answer, so you slipped both the white streamer paper and dark green into your basket, making your way towards connie who was plucking a small paper bag from the rack.

"i'm gonna put it in this bag." connie said as soon as you had stopped in front of him, shoving the bag in your face, your hands coming up to lower it so you could see it more clearly. it was nice, a small blue bag with "happy birthday" sprawled on the front, in sparkly letters, and you smiled at connie who pulled it away from you.

"that's nice, i should get a bag too for his present shouldn't i?"

"well you're not putting it in a box are you?" you shook your head, it'd be better to put it in a little birthday bag then having to spend time wrapping it, so you stood in connie's place who moved aside to let you take a look at the arrangement of bags.

there were so many, but a pretty white one caught your eye, it was simple, happy birthday written in small text on the front in black, a period ending the short statement. the paper bag had two black ribbon handles that were rough to the touch when you had pulled it off its rack. "this is nice too, right?"

connie looked to the bag in your hand, nodding his head. of course he'd think it's nice, he wasn't like you— it made no difference from the bag in his hand. they were both made out of paper and both could complete the same job. you wished to have that mindset. "yeah, what did you get eren for his birthday?"

your eyes widened slightly, you were somewhat surprised he asked— or maybe surprised that he was the first to ask. you took pride in the gift you had bought him when others asked or when you had explained what it was to mikasa, but when it came to eren you were a little nervous to know if he'd like it or not. "just this custom watch, i thought it would be thoughtful."

jean came up behind connie, connie placing his bag into jean's basket. "yeah, i think he'd like it, i mean— i don't wear watches but i'd wear it once or twice."

you narrowed your eyes, scoffing at connie. "well good thing the watch isn't for you, let's go." connie shrugged his shoulders, and you went to grab paper plates and cups, even party hats just for the gag of it, soon enough making your way to the check out and buying all the supplies. your total was higher than you expected, and you blamed your indecisiveness, yet you would still buy whatever was needed for the party at hand.

the three of you loaded into jean's car, you placing the bags beside you and your phone buzzing. you pulled it out of your pocket to check the notification, a message from eren. you swiped left, having to swipe a couple times because of how fast you attempted to open the message. it was rare he texted you when you were out, especially when he knew you were out.

march 28th, 4:47pm

⤷ [attachment 1 image]

⤷  your package? where do you want me to leave it?

you knew right off the bat what it was, the watch you had just told connie about. when you had last checked the shipping date it wasn't scheduled to come today— it was one day early.

march 28th, 4:48pm

⤷ put it in my room, thanks

⤷ okay

you had dropped your phone into your lap, looking out to the window but it buzzed again, and you scrambled to pick it up once more.

march 28th, 4:53pm

⤷ wya?

⤷ in the car, i'll be home soon.

"can you guys take me home first, actually? we can take the stuff to armin's house the day before eren's party." you leaned forward so jean who was driving, could hear you, his head turning slightly as he listened.

"why?" your phone buzzed again, and just like that you forgot about the conversation at hand, diving to pick up your phone, eager to see what eren had sent now.

march 28th, 4:55pm

⤷ your car is here

⤷ oh, you're with who?

⤷ jean and connie

"i just want to go home for now, it'd be easier if we just brought everything over there when we go decorate." and even though jean disagreed, he began the route to your place instead, deciding not push any further.

although your phone didn't alert you that you got another notification, you went to go check anyways, grasping the device in your hand as you went back to you and eren's messages.

read, 4:55pm

you didn't even realize the small frown that was painted on your face, you placing your phone back into the pocket of your jacket, settling down into the seat you were sat on.

"yeah, take me home first."

1 day.

"how's this?" sasha tilted the bowl of frosting towards you, and you took a glance, the frosting a pretty shade of green, much like the flier hitch showed you two days before.

you nodded your head, "yeah, that color works.", and your friend smiled, spinning on her foot to place down the bowl of frosting beside the one of icing. she seemed more excited then you about the making of the cake. not to say you weren't excited, but it was more accurate to say you were highly strung about how it would turn out— more than you should have been.

"nico, grab the cake, i think it's chilled long enough." she dipped her finger into the bowl of frosting, putting it up to her lips and humming at the taste. "oh, yeah, that's good. eren better like this!" and you hoped he would too.

you tsked, grabbing the bowl and moving it over so niccollo could place the cake on the counter next to it. "what design are you thinking?" he asked, arm draping over sasha's shoulder as the two of them stood in front of you. although they didn't date you couldn't help but find them cute. you wondered if sasha or niccollo were in the same dilemma as you— only it seemed that their feelings were reciprocated opposed to you and eren.

you pondered for a second, recalling what you had thought up a couple nights ago. it was simple, "pipe the edges with one of those swirly tips, with the white icing, and.. write happy birthday in the middle. small letters." the small letters were somewhat of an improvisation, it reminded you of the small letters on the front of the gift bag you had got for eren.

as you spoke, sasha moved to grab the pipe tips and piping bags, as well as a spatula, placing the utensils down onto the surface next to the frosting. "i can see that in my head— it's gonna be so good, it's gonna look so good." she glanced up at niccollo, and he was already looking at her, a small smile on his face. "can i frost?"

"...you can frost with the green, i'll do the white; the piping and the words."

sasha beamed, clearly happy with whatever she could get, and she grabbed the spatula, scooping up some frosting and beginning to spread it across the cake. she smoothed the thick coat over the swirl cake, trying her best to cover the top, and you could already envision what it would look like in your head, and it wasn't bad. sasha wouldn't dare for it to look bad with how ecstatic she was to be making it, and you were sure niccollo wouldn't either.

it was mainly your idea, and niccollo and sasha would bring it to life. you would hope eren would like it as much as how much you liked the image of it in your head. "so what did you guys buy for snacks?"

niccollo made his way over to the sink, washing his hands before flinging them so water droplets flew in the sink. "well we bought the basic stuff, chips for the guac, candy for the bowls, and some drinks, plus beer at your friend hitch's request."

you laughed, hitch wouldn't be the only one enjoying it, the lot of you guys liked to drink. you knew eren would be appreciative at the gesture. "it probably wasn't just hitch who wanted it." you watched the blonde dry his hands, leaning against the sink counter. "so you're gonna make the guac, the guac for the chips?"

he nodded his head. "oh, yeah of course. i just can't make it today, i'll make it at... armin, armin's house?" his response was a question, and you nodded as well, letting him know he was thinking of the right person. "yeah, sash will get the stuff and i'll make it that day so it can be fresh."

"okay, that's good. are you gonna come to the party too?" you didn't know him personally, only having met him through sasha who you didn't know how she met him. she had seemed to have taken a liking to him, and you just followed through. after all like you said, they were cute, you wouldn't be surprised when sasha would break the news to you.

"no, i have work that day... i'll be there beforehand to help sasha and you, and everyone set up, if it helps."

"no, yeah— it'd be a lot of help." you gave him a small smile, sliding over more towards sasha to check on the cake. "so, out of curiosity; how did the two of you meet?"

sasha grinned at the question, grabbing some more frosting with the spatula and slapping it onto the side of the cake. she didn't give niccollo time to answer, mouth opening to do so for him. "culinary class! he's so fucking good at cooking, like how?" she tilted her head back to direct the grin on her face at him, and he gave her one back.

"yeah, sasha's not too bad herself either. how did you and sasha meet?" his words sounded like an understatement and you chuckled.

but you and sasha meeting? it wasn't much of a story to tell. "oh, just through eren at the beginning of last semester."

"eren? the birthday boy?"

"yeah, birthday boy... he introduced me to all of them really, nothing special." you shifted on your feet, hands coming together so you could play with your nails, looking down at your hands.

"tell me about you and birthday boy— how did the two of you meet?" you didn't know someone could ask so many questions, but it wasn't like you didn't ignite the conversation to save from the silence.

sasha's shoulders bounced as she laughed softly, and although you couldn't see her, her still smoothing away at the almost completely green cake, you glared at her.

"he's my roommate. i needed one and he needed one, and you know how that goes."

niccollo raised a brow. he clearly caught onto the way you tried to brush the topic off too fast, but so did sasha despite her being occupied. wasn't he majoring in culinary arts? not psychology— there was no reason for him to read you that fast. "and how does that go, _____?" sasha titters and you could tell she was smiling from the tone of her voice.

"fine." you were blunt, your voice montone apart from the small falter at the end of your sentence. "it's cool, having a roommate, he's nice and fun to have around."

sasha's expression mimicked niccollo's, her arms crossing and her brow going up before she walked over to the sink and began to wash the spatula, the water somewhat saving you from the awkward silence, the same one you had tried to stop earlier. sasha broke it though, and in the worst way she could.

"she likes him."

your hand slapped your forehead, and you let out an exasperated groan, both sasha and niccollo laughing at you, but sasha must've felt somewhat bad, a pout on her face as she came over to pull you into a tight hug. "sorry, but you weren't gonna say it and it's kind of obvious."

"well you didn't have to say it out loud." you didn't hug her back, one hand sliding down your face, and the other hanging at your side.

"well how else would nico know?"

"he doesn't."

nicollo took over sasha's place at the counter, not phased by your reluctance to tell him. he tidied up her small mistakes when she was frosting the cake. "sash, can you fill the piping bags?" sasha pranced over to the piping bags after letting go of you and her hands grabbed them, placing the tip on the bags and then rummaging the drawer for a spare spatula, using it to scoop up some of the the white icing and stuff it into the utensil. "so you like him?"

you sighed. she didn't have to repeat it, but still you nodded your head, and then realizing he couldn't see you. "...yeah."

"she won't tell him though." sasha added, dipping another finger into the icing and sucking it off her finger once more. did she have to reveal everything? "i don't see why, if it was me i'd just tell him, what's the worst that could happen."

your eyes glanced between sasha and niccollo.

that was ironic.

"just tell him, who knows, he could like you back." the conversation sounded too familiar, and you rolled your eyes, why did everyone think this was such an easy feat? niccollo leaned towards the cake, icing squeezing out of the pipe creating an intricate swirl that was being detailed around the circumference of the cake.

you folded your arms against the counter you were leaning against, and let out a huff of breath. "it's not that easy. we're roommates, things will be awkward." and you felt like you were repeating yourself— is this what people called deja vu?

"i think eren might like her back." sasha moved the bowl of white icing onto the other side of niccollo and hopped onto the counter beside him, placing the other bowl in her lap, fingers tapping against the sides.

"why?" you were curious, you didn't think anything hinted that he could like you, especially not with the encounter you had with him when you were leaving for hitch's.

"i don't know," she shrugged. "when you guys first moved in together he would always talk about his," she mimicked his voice, "new roommate."

you blinked, then blinked again, arms unfolding and you picking yourself up from the surface you were leaning against. eren talking about you? you wanted to hear more. "that's it?"

another shrug, and another scoop of frosting. "i mean, he talks about you in general too."

"what does he say?"

sasha squinted at you, shaking her head. "i said in general," and her hands went up into quotations, "me and ______ are going to do this, last night me and ______ did this, shit like that."

your stomach twisted, and your legs felt a little wobbly. you cleared your throat, and you wanted to speak but you were a little bit in... shock? but niccollo spoke instead, "i finished."

sasha made a small noise of joy, hopping off the counter she was seated on and pushing over the bowl of frosting, peeking around niccollo to see the cake.

you padded over, standing next to sasha to see the cake as well; and it was pretty.

swirls danced across the edge of the cake, the white contrasting the soft green that was painted over the it and smoothed over almost perfectly. in simple bold letters, "happy birthday, eren." detailed the center, a small heart added to the end.

"it's nice... i really like it, yeah, this is what it looked like in my head." and you weren't lying, it almost was like a carbon copy of what you envisioned, and you were almost surprised at how well niccollo and sasha pulled it off, not that you should be, you did ask for help of two culinary art students. "thank you, thanks so much."

your face was lit up, and sasha and niccollo gleamed smiles at you, delighted that you were happy. being able to make you happy seemed to be enough for them. "glad you like it," he said, and you pulled out your phone to snap a quick picture, pressing the device to your chest. "i added the heart for you."

your eyes rolled back but you couldn't help but chuckle, another "thank you" leaving your lips and your eyes not leaving the cake, even when he went to put it in the refrigerator. once the cake wasn't in your line of sight anymore, that nervous feeling returned out of nowhere, for no reason, and your hands felt sweaty, phone almost slipping from where it was pressed between your chest and hand.

sasha caught on, grabbing your other hand and letting her fingers fall between yours, hands clasped together, and she was radiating solace, sucking up your worries and dispelling them for you.

"he'll like it."

"you sure?"

"of course! i'm sure."

happy birthday, eren.

it wasn't a normal occurrence for you to cook eren breakfast— as a matter of fact you couldn't recall ever cooking breakfast for him.

making dinner? yeah! there were plenty of times the two of you twirled around the kitchen, bodies bumping and fits of giggles bouncing around the small space, while you muttered "sorry!" to each other every now and then.

for now, it was just you.

eren hadn't woken up yet, and so to do him a birthday favor you decided to make him a birthday meal.

you flipped the pancakes cooking on the stove, sauntering over to the fridge and pulling out the package of bacon and plopping in onto the top of the counter. you felt like you had been in the kitchen at least every day now, and you couldn't remember the last time you had actually sat down to participate in one of your hobbies, or to relax. you sure were taking this upcoming event seriously, and you were glad your friend were too.

your fingers tapped against the steel of the fridge handle as your eyes skimmed the contents of the refrigerator; you felt like it wasn't enough, there was nothing special to you about some flimsy pancakes and bacon, so you grasped the carton of eggs and closed one of the fridge doors, leaning towards the side to plop them next to the bacon.

when you turned back around to close the other door, there eren stood, you practically jolting out your skin. "jesus!" you all but screamed, your hand flying to your chest and you stumbling backwards at his abrupt appearance. "eren!"

he chuckled, closing the fridge door for you and stepping forward to stand in its place. "g'morning." his voice was still groggy with sleep, and he still looked sleepy— his eyes still swollen from it, hair messily framing his face. his hair tie must've fell out while he tossed and turned.

your hand fell from your chest and dropped down to your side, tugging your shirt lower and fumbling with the fabric while your eyes glanced around the small kitchen. "morning."

"just morning? aren't you forgetting something?" you gave him a crooked smile, and he stepped forward until his hands wrapped around your shoulders, pulling your frame against his until you were engaged in a hug, minus the fact that your arms were still awkwardly against your sides.

your body began heating up and you felt like you lost control of yourself for a minute, hands taking a bit too long to wrap around eren as well. it was nice, he felt warm, and he brang a sense of comfort, so you relaxed against him a little more. heck, you didn't need time to sit down and relax or do a hobby when you had eren. he was enough to give you a break, just being around him was enough.

"happy birthday." your voice was merely above a whisper, but he heard it— a hum that could be heard through his chest, where your head laid.

"thank you," he said audibly, pulling you away, and you wished the hug could last for a little longer, hesitantly pulling back too and letting your hands smooth over the sudden goosebumps on your arms from the air of the room. "your pancake."

you quirked a brow at him, until your eyes followed his finger, the pancake on the stove that had been there longer than it should have, and you scrambled over in realization, eyes going wide as you fumbled for the spatula, slipping it under the pancake and flipping it over to check the underside. it wasn't burnt— the underside was just a little browner than it should have been. your free hand brought the plate next to the stove closer and slipped the pancake off the pan onto the plate.

"what woke you up?" you asked, as your hands went to grab the bacon and an extra bowl, turning down the heat of the stove and moving to strip the bacon from its packet, setting them down on the pan.

"the smell of your cooking." he smiled, arms crossed from where he leaned against the fridge. he slinked over, until he was behind you, peering down as you placed the last strip of bacon on the steel pan. "who's the breakfast for? me?"

you let out a small laugh, cracking two eggs in a bowl and eren followed along as you moved to the counter, then to the spice rack, grabbing two small spice jars and sliding back to your bowl. "yeah, actually. it's your birthday, right?"

"yeah." he moved over to the fridge, grabbing the bag of cheese and throwing it down onto the counter you were working at. "i like cheese in my eggs." you shook your head but your hands still moved to grab the bag, fingers pulling the seal open and your hand dipping into the bag to sprinkle some into eren's eggs. it was his day after all.

you didn't even realize he had moved from behind you until you heard the sizzle of the bacon on the pan, his hand setting down the spatula, and only then did you realize he had flipped them for you— his head turning towards you to watch you make the eggs, you whisking at the mixture. "thank you." you said softly, eyes lingering on his curious expression before turning back to the eggs. "anything you doing for your birthday?"

it was funny, how you asked that as if you and his friends didn't plan out a whole event for him alone.

he shook his head, as you expected and you couldn't help but let a smile creep on your face as you walked over to the stove, checking on the bacon, and eren taking your spot near the eggs. he slowly began whisking at the mixture despite them already being mixed. it was a domestic feeling, one that you felt before yet it still felt fresh, still felt new and it still made you want to live in moments like these forever.

"nah, you wanna do something with me?"

your lip twitches, and you place the bacon next to the stack of pancakes. the oil drifts to the side as you lean the pan and simply stare for a few minutes, before going to the sink and dumping it. you wiped the side of the pan and spread oil onto it before placing the bottle of oil down and reaching your hand out for eren to pass you the eggs.

he does, his fingertips sliding over yours as he passes it along, and you pour it into the pan, then turning to drop the bowl in the sink. "omelette or scrambled? and you wanna go to armin's later today?"

he scoffed, fingers drumming on the now empty counter he was leaning against, like he was in disbelief that you wanted to go there again; and it seemed that way from his next sentence, him practically bringing your thoughts to life. "scrambled, and you wanna go there again, you've been there like twice this week? what's at armin's?"

the spatula flipped in your hand, and you frowned at eren. "nothing, we should just go there for a get together— it's your birthday after all." your gaze shifted to the plate of food. "can you get another plate for me?"

although eren didn't answer, the sound of plates clinking as he reached for another plate, and the closing of a cabinet told you he complied. he placed it beside the other plate, sliding two pancakes onto it, including the almost burnt one. "two pancakes on your plate?"

and you nodded your head, "no bacon." you scraped some of the eggs onto eren's plate and scraped the remainder onto yours— you weren't too hungry, but you wanted to eat with him, so you made yourself a little too. "so can we go?"

eren's eyes followed you to the sink, where you placed the pan down, the steam rising from the water hitting the hot pan much like the steam rising from the eggs. you came back over beside him, hand patting his side lightly to signal him to move over a little so you could open the utensils drawer. his answer was reluctant, but you didn't think it was necessarily because he didn't want to go— you weren't sure what it was. "i guess, what time?"

you grabbed two forks and two spoons, placing them onto each plate and clasping your hands together, in content at not only the two full plates (if you'd consider yours full), but also at the confirmation from eren next to you. "like... seven? i'm gonna leave earlier though... i have some errands to do."

eren raised a brow, but shook you off, as if he just accepted you running around the usual now. he grabbed his plate and you grabbed the syrup before following behind him until both of you were sat at the dining room table. he couldn't help but still question where you were going though. "what errands?"

you repressed yourself from rolling your eyes, sliding the syrup across the glass table until eren's hands were wrapped around it, popping the top open and drizzling the sticky liquid over his pancakes. "i'm just gonna run to the store real quick, we'll meet up at armin's place."

eren once again didn't respond, pushing the syrup back towards you and poking at his pancake.

with a small sigh you slipped your phone out of your pocket and unlocked it, pressing a few buttons until you and armin's messages were open. your fingers danced around the screen until you began typing.

march 29th, 12:34pm

⤷ i might have to come a little later than i wanted to, spend some time with eren

⤷ ok, i'll text them to come earlier!

⤷ tysm, i'll probably come around 5

you placed your phone down on the table face down. you were somewhat surprised by armin's response time, but you were grateful nonetheless. you'd spend a little more time with eren, it wasn't a big of a deal, not even the small feeling of nervousness that came back was a big deal. with how well everything was going you were sure they could deal without your for a few extra hours.

when you looked up, eren's palm was holding his head up, as his other hand cut the pancake in front of him, a small pout on his face. you almost felt bad, if in the back of your head the surprise party didn't linger you probably would have felt bad. you gave a weak smile, and tapped the glass table to catch eren's attention. "eren,"

"hm?"

"happy birthday."

a few hours.

a few hours until eren's party, a few more hours of planning, few more hours of jittery feelings and sneaking around eren.

maybe a few more hours of questions, questions from eren, questions from your friends, questions for your friends.

"armin, pass me that last streamer."

armin took one of the white streamers from the table next to you, placing tape on the tip and you stepped down from the chair you were standing on to grab it. once you taped it your hand swam through all the streamers that were adorning the wall. they had came down from the ceiling, connected to the wall and then came down like a waterfall, a jade green, light green and white patterned across the wall.

"does it look good?" you asked armin, and his hands went to touch the streamers as well while he nod, surprised at how well you pulled off the design. hitch didn't seem to be the only creative one in the friend group.

"of course, of course, it looks really nice, it's creative too."

as you were about to respond, the pop of a balloon made you and armin flinch, both of your necks snapping towards the sound, connie and sasha both standing their frozen, the remnants of a balloon in connie's hand, sasha holding back her laughs.

stepping down from the chair, you sighed, and armin pat your shoulder. "i'll go help them with the balloons, don't worry." he stepped away, heading towards the living room to do just as he said.

you made your way towards the kitchen, deciding to check on the progress in there, mikasa cutting up tomatoes for the guac that niccollo was preparing, her hands moving flawlessly as she chopped away. "want to help?" she asked, not even looking up to see who walked in.

you had nothing better to do, everyone occupied with one or more aspects of the decrorating, so you said a "yeah," and she dropped the knife, placing another tomato down and grabbing an onion and another knife to begin chopping beside you. "how is it going out there?"

"out there" wasn't too far, you looked over your shoulder and armin, sasha, and connie were arranging the balloons, tying them with ribbon and letting some stray ones float. "they're doing good, i think, thanks for helping with the food."

"no worries." she continued to slice at the onion, but something else was itching her, and she couldn't help but ask. "how did you get eren to not follow you here?"

"'was hard, i hung out with him for a little longer, that's why i was late... and i told him i was running errands." you and eren didn't do much when you were with him, yet you still had fun, even though it was something as simple as chilling on the couch and watch television together. like you thought earlier, eren's presence was enough.

mikasa's head shook, scooping up the onions and placing them in the bowl where niccollo was working, squeezing a lime into the mashed avocado. "didn't take you as a liar," she joked. "what time is he coming?"

you shrugged, eyes glancing to niccollo who was mixing together the guac, then trailing to the grocery bag beside it. "probably around seven like i asked, i don't know. can you grab me some big bowls?"

mikasa went to grab a large clear bowl, placing it down beside you gently. "here," she handed you the bowl, a section in the middle for the guacamole.

"do you think he knows we're planning his surprise party?"

"he might have an idea about it." mikasa replied. "but not a big one, the other day he called armin asking why we didn't invite him over."

your hand stuttered, and you almost cut your finger while slicing the fruit in front of you. "what did armin say?" eren didn't question you further after you told him you had went over to study, so your lie couldn't have clashed with whatever armin told him.

she took the knife from your hand, using it to slide the tomatoes you cut off the cutting board and into the guac. you pulled the bag of tortilla chips out of the grocery bag and opened it up, pouring it into the clear bowl.

"armin didn't say much, he just said you had passed by and that it was nothing special."

you let out a sigh of relief, moving the chips around then pushing the board towards niccollo. "nicollo, put the guac in the middle when you're done." another bag, and another bowl that you poured the contents into. "when i got home from your house few days ago he asked me why i went without him and i told you i grabbed some calculus notes."

"that's close enough." she grabbed the bowl of tortilla chips once niccollo put the guac in the middle. "i'm gonna put these on the table."

"and i'll put the rest of the snacks in the bowls, you can help out there." niccollo told you, pulling the bowls away from you and ushering you out before you could say anything, his hands on your shoulders moving you to the entrance of the kitchen. you didn't question him, just taking your leave and heading towards the living room, wanting to see how the others were doing.

the decorations were coming together, balloons creating an arch around the television set, "happy birthday" letters connecting from one end of the wall to the other, hanging over armin and connie's head, and more balloons connecting together on either side of sasha and jean who were sat sitting on the couch.

it was beautiful, the greens, silvers, and whites all complimenting each other, from the table cover, to the streamers on the dining room wall, it was all a pretty sight to look at and you were filled with bliss, bliss at the fact that it was working out like you had planned, at the fact that your friends and you could put everything together so well.

"guys, you guys did so good!" you sounded cheery, and they caught on small smiles appearing on their faces at the joy on your face, it seemed seeing you happy made them happy too, just like sasha and niccollo. "i really love it!"

"see, i told you she'd like the arch." armin commented, hand pointing to the arch of balloons. "they wanted to just put balloons everywhere, i thought you'd like it if we made it more uniformed." and he was right, you did love it, it was more than you asked for, more than you expected them to do.

"yeah, no, i love this." you had pulled out your phone, preparing to take a picture but stopping for a moment, looking at the time. it was almost seven, and so you decided to text eren instead.

march 30th, 6:43pm

⤷ you can be on your way soon!!!

"i told him he could be on his way like an hour ago." a red solo cup was in your hand, and you were standing with hitch in the kitchen, her sipping at her own drink. you were getting fidgety, almost an hour had passed and eren wasn't here yet, nor did he respond to the last text you sent him. maybe he forgot?

"maybe he got caught in traffic." hitch shrugged, "i don't think he forgot." it was like she read your mind, but it didn't help to calm you— traffic didn't even sound plausible with how near you and eren's apartment was to armin and mikasa.

"traffic? seriously, we don't live far from here, he would've made it sooner than now."

armin frowned at hitch, "maybe not traffic, but maybe he's still getting ready, you know eren's always a little late places... just relax until he gets here." his hand reached out, palm up. "want me to refill your drink for you?" you knew he was just trying to ease you up, get something in your system and relax you until eren would arrive.

you were about to hand him your drink but then your phone vibrated, the light flashing from beside hitch and she picked it up for you, eyes moving back and forth while your screen illuminated her face, and you tried reaching for it but where she sat on the counter top she could easily pull it out of your reach, and that's exactly what she did, your hand stretching for your phone while she read it from where her arm was above her.

"hitch!"

"it's eren, he says he's here."

your eyes practically popped out your head, and you turned to armin, placing your cup in his hand, the liquid threatening to spill over the edge with how fast you shoved the flimsy cup in his grip, almost crushing it. "be right back!" you said loud, speeding past your friends to leave the kitchen and get to front door.

your heart pounded in your chest as you exit the kitchen, butterflies filling your stomach. you spun around the bodies of people (which was more than you expected hitch to invite) rushing to get to the front door, to get to see eren, to get to show him everything you all put together.

you almost stumbled over your own feet, apologizing to whoever you bumped into but not daring to look back, because the door was right there, and another burst of restlessness filled you when your fingers wrapped around the cold metal knob of the front door,  the air that hit you raised goosebumps on your legs when you swung that same door open.

you rushed out the door and down the steps, almost missing one in the process, but it didn't matter because there he was, those same wispy hairs you knew he never tried to tame even on his birthday still framing his face, blue green eyes steadying on your figure running towards him, and plump lips breaking out into a smile that you never knew you'd be so happy to see.

eren, he was here, after you didn't know how long, and you were happy, you were so happy you didn't stop running, crashing into him and causing him to stumble back, but god the small chuckle, the feeling of his smile against the top of your head was so beautiful, so relieving.

"eren," you pant out, your breath fanning his arm, and you pressed yourself against him more, like he'd disappear if you let go. "eren, you're here."

"i'm here." your eyes squeezed shut at his words, at the feeling of his arms wrapping around your shoulders, letting you get as close to him as possible, your legs in between his and your head pressed against his chest like earlier in the kitchen. you never thought you would be so happy to see a person, and even though all the two of you ever did was hug it felt so new and so fresh.

you felt like you had been hugging him for only seconds, but when he began pulling you off you didn't complain because there was much more to show him, so many more things for you to be nervous to show him, but wanted to show him anyways because only god knows how long these things took to make for him.

"what took you so long?"

he scratched the back of his neck, tongue sliding over his lip as he grabbed your hand, the two of you slowly walking back towards the apartment. "i had fell asleep, sorry, i'm here now— i couldn't have missed much?"

"jesus, eren, i thought you forgot!" you cursed his stupidity. seriously? falling asleep moments before his party? he had you worried he was gonna miss it, and he could've.

"no, no, i didn't forget. being home alone is boring you know, so i took a nap." you looked down. you did leave him alone for a couple hours, on his birthday at that, but what he would see in a couple minutes would hopefully make up for it.

his eyes raked over you. "you look nice... and to think it's my birthday." he smiled, and although the moon was out, little light being casted on the two of you he didn't fail to notice your attire and compliment you, your hand squeezing his a little more.

"thank you," and you did the same, letting your eyes look over him, quirking a brow at his appearance; a sweatshirt that was covering the undershirt that was peeking through his collar, and some simple jeans— so much for it being his day. "yeah, you didn't dress up much, it's your birthday eren."

he began to swing your hands back and forth, not seeming to care much for your comment. "i woke up late, i just threw something on."

a silence washed over the two of you as you made your way up the steps, and you almost didn't want to go inside. you wanted to talk to eren a little longer, have it be just you and him a little longer because you knew he wouldn't be at your side for too long once you returned to the house.

"ready to go inside?' you asked as if he genuinely had a choice, but for some reason you still felt a bit sad when he nod his head, pulling you to the door with him.

your hand twisted the knob of the door, and if only you could've watched eren's face once you swung it open. a roar of "happy birthday, eren!" flooded both of your ears and eren quickly became the main attraction. he was the main attraction, it was his day, his birthday.

his mouth dropped open, eyes widening and eyebrows coming up in shock— no in awe, and it was no longer a "small" birthday party that he had in his head, there were lots of people he could recognize, lot of eyes on him, and pretty shades of green dusting the room. you felt his hand squeeze yours in return, and he almost didn't even notice his closest friends crowding around him.

"eren! happy birthday!" hitch pat his shoulder, beckoning for him to bend down a little bit, a party hat in her hand that matched the one on top of her head. his gaze broke from the room around him to his friends in front of him, and he bent down, hitch snapping the hat onto his head, you giggling at him as he adjusted it, a goofy grin on his face. if it was any other day, he probably would've refused to have such a silly hat on his head.

"yeah, happy birthday." armin said smiling happily to finally see eren, and smiling to not see you worrying anymore about his arrival. mikasa stood beside him saying a small "happy birthday" as well, and eren stepped forward to give both her and armin a hug before stepping back beside you again, his hand never leaving yours as he did so.

"do you like it?" the question was urging you to ask it, and eren looked down at you again, your nail pulling at your lip while you waited his response.

"do i like it?" he pulled you into a hug too, squeezing your shoulder. it was obvious to him, of course he liked it— how could he not? "so you planned this?"

"we all did."

"who's we all?"

you scanned the room, but it was only you, hitch, armin and mikasa standing in front of eren. "well, the four of us and jean, sasha, and connie too. i don't know where they are though, probably the kitchen."

"i love it, i really do, thank you guys so much."

you felt like a weight had been lifted off of you, like you were free from a burden you had placed onto yourself. everyone told you he would love it, and you knew it too. although, the feeling of eren himself telling you was a relief that never felt so good.

"i'm glad, let's go see the others." so eren's hand that was still intertwined with yours had pulled you along, the other three dispersing to do their own thing. small "happy birthdays" were said to eren as he passed people, and he occasionally stopped to greet someone he knew well properly while you stood back waiting patiently for him. hitch did him justice, most if not all the people he did know, even if you didn't, and now would be a great opportunity to get to know some more people but you chose to stay beside him.

when the two of you had entered the small space of the kitchen, sasha was standing with a plate next to connie. "eren, happy birthday!" her voice was muffled by her food, her covering her mouth as she spoke, but you could tell she was elated to see him with the way she perked up at the sight of him.

"yeah, happy birthday dude." connie blew a party horn in eren's face obnoxiously, and eren's face scrunched up, although you knew he didn't mind, as matter of fact probably the complete opposite. he was almost too happy and you could see it in his walk and his face.

"thanks guys, and thank you for planning this all out."

"thank _____ for getting us off our asses and forcing us to plan this shit." connie quipped, and you would've knocked his head straight if you didn't catch the jest to his tone that made you and eren chuckle.

he looked down at you after connie had pinned the party on you again, "so it was you who planned all of this basically. that's why you kept leaving?"

"yeah, i was planning shit out with them— i wasn't trying to leave you or anything." getting that off your chest felt equally as good, and it seemed that eren felt relieved as well, apart from the way his grip finally slipped from your hand.

"good... good, i love this, you did amazing, i appreciate this a lot." no words were enough to explain how much eren really appreciated you, appreciated everything you were doing for him— so all he could do was hope that you knew. "i'm gonna get a drink and look around, okay?"

"i'll be here." but your reply was short lived. instead of staying with connie and sasha you went to find armin for your drink. you needed it to calm the jitters that you were feeling, and you were glad when you caught him chatting with another blonde, who you surprisingly recognized but sadly couldn't recall her name.

"armin, my drink." the red cup still rested between his fingers, and at the sound of your voice he looked up, immediate remorse on his face when he saw yours, then looking down to the cup before passing it your way.

"i'm sorry, i forgot to fill it up." when you looked down into the cup it wasn't full, the liquid from before still swimming in the bottom. it was fine, everyone was occupied, trying to have fun and so you didn't mind, you'd just fill it up on your way to the kitchen, no big deal.

"who's this?" the girl turned to you, eyes bored as she tapped against the cup in her own hand, and armin looked between her and you, perking up. it was a chance to try to socialize, try to make friends, and you tried to take that chance.

"oh! annie, this is _____, she planned this all out, eren's roommate."

"hey!" you gave her a small smile, hand out for her to shake it, and she did, giving your hand a light shake before letting go. she didn't seem too interested in conversation with you, her blue eyes flitting over to armin every once in a while, while her feet kept turned towards him. "i think i've seen you around before, you look familiar."

she looked you over, studying your appearance before coming to the conclusion that she has seen you before. she put her cup to her lips, drinking before responding. "i'm here sometimes— armin's house."

armin next to you let out a nervous laugh, cracking his knuckles while listening to you and annie's conversation. "yeah, you've probably seen her around before, she comes here often."

you shrug, not sure if you had ever seen her at armin's place. although her face was familiar you couldn't really recall who she was, and you blamed your lack of socialization. you'd keep her name in your head, hopefully for future reference. "probably, but nice to meet you anyways."

armin waved, and you waved back before heading back over to the small crowds of people to get to the dining room, a selection of drinks splayed out for anyone to come and grab as they please.

hitch was there, seated on a table chair she pulled out, sliding a soda can towards her to pour in the alcohol that was already in her cup. she only noticed you when you walked over to stand right in front of her, her eyes gazing up at you before averting her attention back to her drink. "couldn't have asked sash to get some better booze?"

your own arms reached over to do just as her, a can of soda in one hand that you poured inside what was already in your cup— it upped the alcohol, and overall tasted funner. "don't think it was sasha who got it." you replied, taking small sips of your drink as if you were taste testing it.

"hm," hitch did the same, taking a swig of her drink before twirling it in the cup, setting it back down on the table in front of her. "i told you he'd come, and that he'd like it. you were stressing for nothing."

"yeah... i guess," you went to grab the chair diagonal from hitch, pulling it out from behind you and plopping yourself down in it. "where is he anyways?"

hitch looked ahead of you as if she was genuinely trying to find eren before looking back to you with a shrug of her shoulders. "not sure, he was over here a couple minutes ago with jean getting a drink." you missed him by a hair, and your shoulder slumped a little lower.

"he was over here?"

"why, you looking for him?"

you sunk down in your seat a bit, your feet tapping together while your fingers pattered against the plastic of your cup. you weren't looking for him per say, you just wanted to be with him, just have another moment with him, see him happy and see him enjoying himself in what you created.

"eren has got you fucked up— you need to, and i cannot stress this enough;" she pointed her cup at you, "just tell him." hitch let out an exaggerated sigh, her scooting down in her seat as well as she drank her drink again.

"hitch, please, i don't think you've understand how many times i have been told that this week, and nobody seems to understand how not easy that is." and you were right, it wasn't easy, there was too many problems that could arise if it backfired. you'd rather pine for eren for the rest of your life if it meant that things would stay natural between the two of you— if what you had going on now stayed.

"or you're just making it harder than it has to be." she had a challenging look in her eyes, placing her elbow on the table and resting her chin on her knuckles, a small smirk on her lips.

you gave a her a questioning glance, not looking too long and shifting in your seat. maybe it was harder than it had to be. maybe it was your nerves telling you otherwise, maybe you were following the pounding of your heart and the butterflies in your stomach.

hitch looked you over, shaking her head with a small giggle before pushing her head from under her and standing up with her beverage. "i'm gonna go tell connie to change whatever the fuck is playing, i'll catch you later." and she walked around you, body disappearing into the bodies of people leaving you by yourself.

but not for long, a hand on your shoulder making you jump, you turning around and seeing eren, towering above you, a slight smile on his face. speak of the devil, it was the man of the hour— just who you wanted to see, and who you were happy to see. "hey."

"hey," you stand up almost too fast, pushing in the chair and standing in front of him. he steps back to give you some space, almost caught off guard with how fast you stood up. "what's up?"

he leans into your ear, making sure you're able to hear him over the sound of the music and the chatter of the people around the two of you. "want to go outside for a little bit? it's kind of too many people, just wanna get some air." the faint smell of alcohol is present on his breath, and it reminds you to grab your cup, nodding your head and taking his hand in yours— where it felt snug and right, just like it did earlier.

the two of you make your way out the house, and the air did feel good, it didn't feel stuffy, it wasn't loud, it was calm and quiet, the breeze of the night only chilling you slightly, but eren next to you made you dead to the breeze.

he walks forward, only a few steps and you follow along, until both of you are leaning against the railing that kept you from falling a couple feet or so, cup dangling off the edge in your hands, and the moon so bright in the sky it only felt a couple feet away.

"i feel like you don't know how much i actually love this." he starts, and when you look at him he's still staring at head, the glint of the moon making his eyes look ethereal, illuminating them in only the best way possible. "how much i appreciate this, this party, everything."

"i know, eren," a grin can't help but form on your face, and you could hear the words come from his mouth again and again. the feeling that his appreciation sent through you gave a sense of pleasure, a satisfaction and it brought a form of closure. "i know."

it's just quiet, it's nobody talking and it's just the two of you. you're allowed to relish in eren being beside you because that's what you wanted from the moment he arrived, you wanted to be with him, and so despite the two of you not talking, he was enough. the sound of his light breathing was enough, the heat radiating off of him was enough, the sight of him was enough.

yet, you break the silence.

"do you wanna see what i have for you?"

he finally looks your way, and his eyebrows are knit, pink lips only slightly parted, and your eyes can't help but flit down to them before coming back up to his eyes. you weren't sure if he missed your quick glance or not, his lips closing. "there's more."

"if i can recall, you get presents on your birthday right?"

this time, you're the one to grab his hand, and his fits in yours like a puzzle, and you're the one to pull him down the steps that you had ran down earlier, him being the one to finally trail behind you.

you walked him to your car, your hand digging in the pocket of your coat that albeit the warmth of the party you had managed to keep on, and you grabbed your keys, your thumb pressing down onto the black button that made the lights in the vehicle flare up. you place your solo cup on the roof of the car and your hand grasps the car doors for the backseat, opening it up and being greeted by leather seats and a small white bag.

you almost couldn't fathom that this small white bag only days ago you cared so much about, that the ribbon that your hands were holding onto mattered so much to you, the small lettering on the front mattered so much to you— and only moments ago eren couldn't express his enthusiasm for the party you planned for him.

all your friends who had repeatedly told you not to stress were right— if eren loved a stupid dirt cake, and a little embroidered letter, he'd love anything you gave him from a small paper bag or a couple of snacks to a watch, to a party.

you moved aside and eren moved forth, making himself comfortable on the seat of your car while you placed the bag in his lap, and he looked so adorable; the party hat that was splashed with color leaning a little too far right, and the cheerful smile on his face as he moved the tissue aside and peeked into the bag closely, before his head shot up and him beaming at you instead.

even though he didn't even see what was in the bag yet, his hand came to his chest dramatically, acting way too surprised for someone who wasn't even sure what you got him yet. "for me?"

you rolled your eyes gesturing to the present. you wanted him to see it so you ushered him on. "yes for you, now hurry up and open it, it's kind of cold out here." the cold was nothing to you today, your coat kept you warm enough.

he wasted no time complying, pulling out the small black box, a pretty suede under his fingers as he pulled off the lid, and his eyes shone as he did, another look of awe gracing his face as he stared at the contents of the box. you were so giddy, seeing the look of surprised wash over his face, that same feeling of satisfaction you received earlier came over you again and you were practically bouncing on the balls of your feet as you watched eren.

it was a watch, the face of it a black and white photo of him and his mom when he was young, and you were to thank mikasa for finding the photo for you. the band was a matte black and the metal detailing the accessory a pretty gold that matched the key necklace that hung around his neck almost at all times. you hoped that the watch would become like the necklace— something he wore almost at all times.

he looked up at you, and although he was sitting down he pulled you forth by your wrist. the action caught you by surprise, his free hand holding your waist and his head buried into your stomach, and almost by default did your hand go up to play with the free strands of his hair, smoothing over his head, playing with his half assed bun and carding your fingers through his soft locks.

your heart was melting, you could almost cry— and you never knew that seeing the joy and admiration of you on someone else's face would mean so much to you, you never knew that making someone else happy was something that made you happy, especially when it came to someone like eren. it was the same expression that your friends had when they saw how happy you were when you all came together to complete another task for the event, and now you could feel what they felt, except tenfold.

so you let him press his head against you while he examined the watch, you were fine with staring over the roof of your car into the distance of the night, staring at what would've looked like nothing to you if eren wasn't in your arms.

it was all something, the tall trees whereas the green leaves on them was only visible because of the moonlight, the arrangement of cars spanning down the parking lot ahead, little things you wouldn't have thought twice about. little things that somehow eren made you recognize, eren made you hyper aware of how the little things mattered, in the worst sense at first, having you constantly stress over the little things. but now you were somewhat happy you took your time on these little things, because the little things that might seem like nothing to you, could mean the whole world to someone else.

you realize that eren would have been happy with anything that you wanted to give to him, no matter how little or big not because of what it is, but because of who you are and the thought that went into it.

you almost missed the small blabbers of "thank you" that left his mouth, his lips moving against the fabric of your dress, and your coat brushing the tip of his nose. it's only when he stood up and said one more to your face that you realized he had been talking to you the whole time.

the bag wasn't in his lap no more, and neither was the box, the watch now around his wrist, and it suited him perfectly, it complimented him so nicely, although it was a simple watch (which to be fair, it was the exact opposite of simple to him). the only thing still the same was his arm around your waist, and the soft expression on his features.

it wasn't that hard, it couldn't have been that hard— not now, when you finally realize that eren is eren, and he'll be happy with you no matter what, no matter what you give him, no matte what you say to him.

"eren?"

"yeah?"

"i like you."

if this was a few hours ago, you would've choked up on your words, your heart would be racing and your hands would be a clammy mess. hours ago you would've refused ever confessing to him, it wouldn't have even crossed your mind once.

hours ago, you didn't know eren as well as you thought you did because you were too busy worrying about the what-ifs, worrying about the little things that he would've loved anyways.

his expression didn't change, and yours didn't either because you were at peace, and your shoulders felt lighter just because he now knew.

"______?"

"yeah?"

"i like you too."

that was all that it took.

that was all it took for both of your hands to cup at his face, and pull him closer while you stood on your tippy toes, foreheads touching, then nose, then lips. all it took for you to feel so loved and complete, all by the feeling of his lips against yours, the synchronization of them moving together made you giddy again, made you happy.

your noses bumped but it was okay, your teeth clinked but it was okay, you both giggled into the kiss, not being able to shake the overwhelming feel of it that somehow still kept you feeling at peace.

he pulled you impossibly close, and he kissed you until he couldn't breathe anymore, taking his time sucking on your lips, savoring every taste of your skin and the way your lips felt. the kiss alone was the cherry to his birthday— scratch that, you were the cherry to his birthday.

and when the two of you finally pulled away for air your head fell forward onto his chest almost immediately, his head resting overtop of yours and keeping you safe in his arms, safe against him. "happy birthday, happy birthday, happy birthday." you were the one to blabber now, and you weren't sure if it was a distraction for the tears that threatened to spill or not.

he pressed a chaste kiss to the top of your head, swaying both of your bodies back and forth gently, swiftly, and kindly. he didn't respond, but he didn't need to respond, his love being thrown back at you just by the way he held you.

you could've stayed in this position forever, you really could've but the sound of armin calling for eren from the top of the steps is what broke the moment for the two of you, and what made matters worse (or better) was hitch standing right behind him, a leer on her face that made you let out a sigh.

"hey! eren!" armin almost doesn't realize that it's you right below eren, but when his gaze darts down to you for a millisecond he has to do a double take that causes him to break out in a smile, turning to hitch for a confirmation which she gives with a nod. "we were looking for you, we have to cut the cake!"

eren looks down at you and reluctantly lets you go, shutting your car door for you and grabbing your cup. "you can go back inside we're coming." he announces, and even then armin and hitch don't move, both leaning against the railing like you and eren earlier, as if something would come next between you and eren— you had to chuckle at this.

when you and eren began walking hand in hand, for the first time you didn't worry about what he'd think of the cake, you didn't worry about if he'd like the color, or the taste, or the shape, or anything for that matter, because you knew eren would appreciate anything you'd throw his way.

"hey,"

he looks down at you, and the calm look on his face almost mirrors yours. "yeah?"

"happy birthday, eren."

[thegreatimpersonator]

hiya!! first of congrats again on your milestone luv, your blog is absolutely gold tier so keep it up!! i read book-recs in your post and my brain exploded lols i may have read the one you will give me but i'm curious to know! - as for me, i still have a thing for got/asoiaf and it will probably always gonna be that way 💀 but in general i like the classics, period drama, dark genres and fantasy. my rec for you would be ninth house by leigh bardugo or the grishaverse, in case you haven't read them 💜💜

thank you, you're too sweet!! 💖 💕 Your taste is absolutely perfect and ooh i definitely recommend Babel if you're into a dark academia historical fantasy vibe, and my brothers karamazov for a classic!! I really enjoyed reading the grishaverse books so I'm excited to check out ninth house <33

[quiteaweirdworld]

Eastside- JJ x Reader

(not my gif)

snapshots of your life growing up with JJ always by your side

Requested: nope (send me requests!!)

Inspired: the ask from @yellowclara​ for a Halsey fic, I wrote one with @spilledtee​ (go check it out) and also wanted to write my own

Warnings: none!

Contains: fluff, soft JJ, growing up

Words:  1.6K

When I was young, I fell in love

We used to hold hands, man, that was enough 

You and JJ had been friends since third grade, the same year that he met John B. You remember meeting him at recess, when the boys were playing kickball. He was a scrawny little thing, with messy blonde hair and a loud voice that everyone listened to. You were the only girl who wanted to join in, and were getting a hard time for it. The girls were turning up their noses at the dirt and  the boys were all saying how you couldn’t be any good. JJ finally called out 

“Let her have a shot, and if she makes it around, she can play”

You made it all the way around, and JJ grabbed your hand and held it up in celebration. After school he came up and introduced himself and John B, and ever since then, it was you and the boys. When Pope later joined the group he also became part of your little family, but you were always closest with JJ. Although he didn’t tell you then, that was when JJ fell in love with you, the little girl who wasn’t afraid to be with the boys and go for what she wants. 

Then we grew up, started to touch

Used to kiss underneath the light on the back of the bus

 When middle school came around and he grew so much that he was now a good four inches taller than you, he became more protective of you as well. You never grew out of your tom-boy ways but JJ didn’t seem to mind.

 Your most clear memory was a trip to the beach in eigth grade. Your entire class rode the bus from school to the beach, even though some of you, like you, JJ, and John B, spent more time at the beach anyway. When you got there, most of the girls went straight to the sun to tan and sit around but you were most excited to hang with the boys in the waves. After spending all morning teaming up with JJ to splash John B (Pope declared himself neutral), you headed into shore for lunch. As you were getting your coke, one of the girls spilled theirs on you, saying 

“Oops! But it’s ok, boys like to get messy anyway”

 You were mortified, just because you didn’t like girly things didn’t make you any less of a girl. Before you could fully react, JJ poured his own water on the girl with an 

“Oops! But it’s ok, you’re at the beach anyway” and tucked you under his arm. When you got back to the group you started to move away but his strong arm around you didn’t let you. You spent the rest of the trip pressed against his side, and right before you were about to leave you felt a tug at your arm while JJ led you around a corner.

“JJ, wh-” you started but he cut you off with a tiny kiss, your first kiss. He stepped back and looked at you with those big blue eyes and blushed as he was nervous, but you reassured him that there was nothing wrong when you tucked yourself back into his chest and smiled. If he made Pope sit with John B in front of you two so you could go for a small second kiss on the bus on the way back, that’s a different story. 

I know your daddy didn't like me much

And he didn't believe me when I said you were the one

Oh, every day, she found a way out of the window to sneak out late

Your dad was never the biggest fan of JJ, and it only got worse once you started dating after that beach day. It wasn’t that you were a kook, in fact you were far from it and your family definitely understood the  struggle of being a pogue, it’s that your dad wanted more for you. Like Pope’s dad, your dad wanted you to have a bright future and thought that JJ would stand in the way of that. 

You didn’t care. 

You always found a way to hang out with your group, and once Kiara joined the summer after eighth grade you were happy to have another girl. Kiara was always the pretty girl, the one who acted like the other girls and wore girly tops. You were always a bit self conscious that Kiara was prettier than you, but JJ said that he liked it when you wore his shirts so you taught yourself not to care anymore. 

When you slipped out your window and ran to your spot on the beach every weekend, JJ greeted you with a soft 

“Hey Y/N”. You weren’t ones for pet names, leaving that for John B and whichever girl he had his eye on that week, but you showed your affection with little casual touches, with his hand in yours or your head tucked into his chest. You were still a lot shorter than him, but had to admit you didn’t mind because it was that much better for cuddling. Your group wasn’t partying yet, but would always sit a bit away on the beach and watch, ready for when it was your turn to party throughout the night. 

My love is yours if you're willing to take it

Give me your heart 'cause I ain't gonna break it

The first time you said “I love you” to JJ, it was the first week of ninth grade. 

Kiara was at Kook Academy and that left you without any girl friends. You had been picked on all week for hanging out with the boys and though you wouldn’t have it any other way, you wished the names didn’t hurt so much. It was Friday afternoon, and you just got out of English, the only class you didn’t have with JJ. You had heard whispering behind you all class about how it was a shame that you had to hang out with the boys because none of the girls liked you. Although you’d take hanging out with your boyfriend over those fake girls anyway, you still had to focus so hard on not crying that you ran right into him. JJ took one look at your face and signalled to John B that he had to go, and walked with you all the way past your house and back to the beach. 

“What’s wrong?” he asked, and you quickly explained all your insecurities about how you’re bad at being a girl, and everyone hated you for it. 

“Y/N, I don’t care if you’re bad at being a girl, because you’re great at being my girl” 

You laughed at that, and looked up into his blue eyes.

“I love you” you whispered

He froze, looking at you

“I love you too”

So come away, starting today

Start a new life together in a different place

The summer after ninth grade, you all had to get new jobs. Kiara was still working at her folk’s restaurant, but you joined the boys in delivering for Heyward. You worked well with the boys, them carrying everything and you actually being the face of the delivery because you always got the best tips. JJ always bragged that his girl was the best saleswomen in the world, before pulling you in close. At the end of every long day you always ended up at that beach where you shared so many moments together. You were finally old enough to join the parties, and were always up for dancing with JJ. One night as you were both drunk and sitting in your spot a little ways up the beach, he whispered in your ear 

“You and me, always” “Always” you promised back.

It was like something new had sparked that night on the beach. You started looking at JJ differently, and imagining your life with him forever. You quite liked the visions that you came up with, and spent the rest of the year envisioning a life together with JJ. 

Seventeen and we got a dream to have a family

A house, and everything in between

Even though every adult since eighth grade had told you that your relationship probably wouldn’t last, you and JJ were still going strong Senior year. You were his comfort when things got rough with his dad, and he always protected you from any harsh words flung your way. 

One night at 2am, you woke up to something knocking at your window. You saw that it was JJ, and hurriedly unlocked it so he could tumble in. “JJ, what happened?” you asked as you saw his face purple with bruises.

He started crying, one of the few times he ever cried in front of you, and you quickly wrapped him in your arms. This was your JJ, your strong boy who had protected you for five years and who always made you feel better. You did the same for him, rocking slightly as he cried against your neck, whispering promises of the future where nothing bad could ever happen. You were listing all of your promises, and were describing your future house in a calm voice when he calmed down. 

“You and me, always?” he asked? “Always”, you reassured. 

And so it was. 

[fallowdoe]

All roads lead to Hell

MC gets kidnapped and has to make their way through Hell to reunite with everyone.

GN!reader x everyone (can be treated as platonic/romantic)

Trigger warnings for this chapter: none

I apologise for the quality of writing however this is a translated version of my fic.

If anyone is interested in that I was listening to Casey tells the truth, the whole Split soundtrack is my big inspiration for this story. I’d advise onto playing it in the background while reading.

Chapter 1 - Prolouge  ⇒

A few candles lit up the room. The gentle light was adding to its already mysterious aura. Solomon’s dorm was filled with all kind of grimoires and spellbooks. The floor was covered with tons of torn-out pages and patterns drawn on a yellowish paper.

Trying out one spell after another MC seemed to grow more and more annoyed. The upcoming exam was one of the most important ones and Solomon’s constant teasing wasn’t the most helpful.

"Focus or you won’t get anything done, MC." The sorcerer stated while leaning against a wall. He wasn’t even trying to hide the amusement in his voice.

"I am focused" They mumbled irritated. It was their ninth try of casting this, so-called easy, spell. A marble laying on the table seemed to look at them pitifully. It was a one bastard piece of glass. Even more irritated MC moved their hand above it once again. 

"Neque ultra intuebitur eum" they mumbled. The space around them seemed to start drawing energy towards their hand. A quiet electric buzz filled their ears and they could feel their cheeks heat up. But just as they were about to direct the energy towards the toy it would suddenly unload. The marble remained untouched, and MC could bet that if it was possible it’d poke its tongue at them. Or maybe even raise a very specific finger up. "Neque ultra intuebitur eum!"

Nothing. 

"No! It’s impossible! It’s impossible and that’s it! You gave me a broken marble." They grunted and dramatically sat on a chair pouting. 

Solomon snickered at them and approached the table. He muttered the words of the spell and the marble was gone immediately. 

"Cheater. I bet it was enchanted or something." 

"Maybe." He smirked. "Try again."

MC groaned under their breath but stood up again. The sorcerer walked up to them and placed his hand on their arm giving them a reassuring look. "That’s gonna be seriously lame if you fail again tho.” 

They replied with a huff and tried to refocus. Closing their eyes, MC began collecting energy again. It was a weird feeling. Suddenly they’d notice that the whole room was in fact like a river full of it. Their task was to change its current toward themself. This spell didn’t require a lot of effort, only a bit of thought. Stronger spells could even sweep someone off with an uncontrolled current.

 They’d never admit it but sorcerer’s touch was rather helpful. It made them feel grounded. Goosebumps rose on their hand. They cast the spell again. 

"Lame." He chuckled.

"Huh?!” Their eyes shot open searching for the marble but the table was empty. They laughed and playfully punched his chest, making him laugh. "Asshole.”

Content, MC threw themself on the bed as a mark of their victory, Solomon was quick to follow. 

"You realize that this was shit compared to regular magic?” watching them struggle was incredibly amusing to him, apparently. 

"Like I don’t know" They frowned. He smiled in response and laid back next to them. 

The silence of the room, moving flames of the candles and its overall aura was really comforting.

"You should be able to pass the exam tho" he mentioned. 

"It’s a lot, you know? Everything." MC wondered. 

"I know." 

"I just can’t wrap my mind around it.” They began playing with their hair. 

"You could do much more without a hassle.” He stated like it was something obvious and leaned on his elbows while looking at them with a smirk.

"Wow, thanks for being an asshole.” They muttered, the hair they were playing with fell on their face. 

"A supportive asshole.” 

"I’m not sure if I could do more.” They spoke trying to blow the curl off. Hesitation making its way in their voice. "It’s still too new and…” 

”Overwhelming?” 

"Yeah… Convincing someone that hell is real is one thing but throwing them inside is something else.” They followed gentle shadows of the flames on the ceiling with their eyes.

"Why? You’d prefer a flaming river and little red devils instead of your seven demon boyfriends?” 

Both of them laughed at the image of the brothers' with spiked tails and tridents. 

"No, I don’t think I would.”

 Empty walls of RAD were enhancing every sound, making every single word echo for a few seconds before disappearing.

 "MC, ya comin’ or what?" Mammon was standing at the end of the hallway talking with Beel. 

"Just a second!" they screamed while taking stuff out of their locker and putting it in a bag. They were planning on returning to the House of Lamentation as soon as the school day was over to prepare for an exam. But their Devildom History textbook was nowhere to be seen. "Ugh, I left a textbook in the classroom. Wait for me, I’ll go get it!" 

"Just hurry up! I’m not explainin’ to Lucifer why we’re late again!" 

The palace garden was full of exotic flowers, nothing like what they’d seen before. The number of colours and shapes worked wonders, some of the plants were gently glowing and lighting up the eternal night. Some had spots and some seemed to move on their own. MC could swear that they could even hear glassy sounds of a few.

"No matter how many times I see those flowers they always amaze me.” Diavolo was lazily examining the garden grounds. "Some of them only grow here. I’m doing what I can to keep them from going extinct. The species come from all of the three realms. That’s why you can spot some familiar ones.” He explained. ”I’m hoping to replant them one day on its original grounds.” 

"Thanks to magic?” MC was sipping on some tea. 

"Thanks to a good gardener, actually.” Barbatos smiled.

"Oh.” Both men laughed at their confusion. 

The quiet evenings in Lord Diavolo’s castle were a nice change from their usual ones. Their small chats quickly turned into a regular thing, always accompanied by a nice tea made by Barbatos.

"Magic definitely helps as well.” 

The wind was shyly blowing between the palace columns. Moth-alike creatures were roaming the garden, their wings glooming in the soft darkness. 

"I don’t think I can get used to it. The magic.” 

"Maybe, it’s a good thing. Living in constant awe of something." The Demon Lord smiled and gave them a soothing look. 

They quietly hummed in response.

 Lucky for them, the classroom was open. They entered not bothering to turn the lights on. The lost textbook was waiting for them on their desk. A dark and empty classroom felt really heavy, MC grabbed the book and just as they were about to return to the hallway they noticed an envelope that must have been hidden underneath it. 

"What? " They muttered. An elegant paper and a wax stamp made it look important. If not for their name written on the back they’d probably leave it alone in fear of getting hexed or pranked. Instead, curiosity made them break the stamp. 

 "Geez, what is taking ‘em so long?" Mammon huffed. They were gone for only a few minutes but making HIM wait was quite an offence.

"Maybe we should go and check on them" Beel mumbled from between his sandwich bites. 

"Hm, to get lost on your way for a textbook. Dumb human." Mammon stated annoyed. He was energetically tapping his foot.

"Come on, they probably locked themself in the classroom or something."

   As soon as MC fished the sheet of paper from inside the letter, they started shivering. Cold air began circling them, their vision fading. All the sounds of the world around them suddenly gone. Sudden exhaustion taking over them, an empty void. It was a calm, soothing sensation. Like falling asleep…

  "It’s empty” Beel stated exiting another classroom. 

"Ow, come on! They gotta be somewhere ‘ere!" anxiety was slowly making its way in Mammon’s voice. 

"Try this one – he pointed at the door on the other side of the hallway." 

"If they’re not in the…" a powerful charge of energy went off when he tried to reach for the doorknob leaving both demons in shock for a second. 

"MC!" Mammon bailed inside an empty classroom. 

Loud voices filling the House of Lamentation kept the atmosphere tense.

"So they forgot a textbook…" Lucifer tried to keep calm, but his furrowed brows showed how tense he actually was. "…and went to get it…"

"Yeah!"

"…alone." He shot his brother a disapproving look. 

A guilty nod. 

"So, you went after them and discovered a sudden burst of energy in the classroom." The whole situation was more than inconvenient. It was a tragedy to be specific. An exchange student disappearing on the grounds of the academy. The exact one who couldn’t protect themself from any magic. The foreign trace of a powerful spell didn’t make the situation any better. The eldest took a quick glance across the room.

"We found this." Beel pointed at their textbook laying on the table. 

"Are you sure that they just didn’t go somewhere?" Satan uttered.     

"I’m tellin’ ya how it went! They’re just gone like that!”

"They sure can’t be far, right?" Asmo’s question was left unanswered. 

A motion of loud voices filled the room, everyone discussing what might have happened.

Lord Diavolo approached the table with a stern look on his face. If it was true that something happened to MC while they were at RAD then he was the one at fault for not keeping the academy grounds safe for them. He took the book and examined it. Devildom history. It had MC’s name written on the first page. Nothing appeared to be wrong with it. Just a regular textbook. "It’s just a textbook if anything had to do with their disappearance it couldn’t be it. Is Solomon on his way here?" 

"Yes, I called him a while ago he should be here anytime." Lucifer confirmed. 

It wasn’t even about the project anymore, MC was missing and it filled all of them with an unpleasant feeling of guilt.

"Can’t Barbatos use his powers and find them?”

The butler sadly shook his head.

What previously was a state of anxiety, now was slowly shifting into a panic whit every passing hour. As long as they were alone in Devildom, they definitely weren’t safe. 

"Something happened to MC?!" Luke’s voice caught their attention. 

Both angels and Solomon were standing in the entrance to the dining room, looking rather startled. 

"We don’t know yet." Diavolo stated calmly. 

They joined everyone by the table and Solomon took the textbook. He gave Diavolo a specific look and the demon lord nodded in response. He started studying it. 

"Are they safe?! Why aren’t you worried?!" the young angel kept questioning. 

"I’m sure that MC’s okay." Simeon’s white lies weren’t exactly suited for an angel. 

"Of course, everyone is worried." Belphegor stated irritated. "That’s why we called you!" 

Solomon tried to quiet out the rambling and kept examining the book, but just like Diavolo confirmed, there wasn’t anything extraordinary about it. That was unless he opened it and a single sheet of paper fell out.

[passivenovember]

If Snow Loves the Trees and Fields.

Billy's job at Willowbrook Elementary is the only reason he puts up with this weather at all.

His hatred for winter, a season which hardly existed when he taught in the Valley, morphs and becomes something violent on the first Monday after Christmas break.

He wakes up feeling like his toes have gone missing, frozen black and blue with the cold, and after his phone tells him it's below zero outside, with wind-chill, his heart stops beating.

Hawkins is -10 degrees, to be precise.

And it leaves him feeling like that's gotta be illegal, or. He could for sure call all the scientists on Earth and have a law passed that clarifies: those born and raised in a Southern climate get a free pass on days when Hell is actively freezing over.

But it's not snowing today. And all the ice on the street has been scraped into terrible, disgusting drifts that block his driveway, and Hopper would immediately call bullshit. All, gonna have to suck it up if you wanna live here, buttercup.

So Billy decides to be an adult, or whatever. He spends another five minutes on his phone definitely not stalking his ex Instagram before rolling out of bed to get dressed.

And, like.

Even his underwear drawer is stiff from the cold so Billy decides to bundle the fuck up--a trick he learned from Max last fall, during the coldest year Indiana had ever seen. He manages to stack five layers in total; one pretty pink thermal set just brushing his his skin and a button down shirt to stave off the goosebumps. A sweater and jeans for professionalism. One Grateful Dead hoodie, because it makes him feel like he's not a total sell out, and a thick winter coat, sent special from the snow capped mountains of California this Christmas.

It still smells like his mom's pikake lei perfume.

Billy tries not to think about that, of home, on a day when he'd give his left nut for a ray of sunshine.

Instead, he spends ten minutes filling his thermos with coffee. Boiling the rice milk more than once so it'll stay warm on the ride across town. He sticks his pinky under the lip after his third go, and fuck that shit is so hot it will burn his mouth tomorrow, before checking the weather app again for closures.

Hoping against hope that something has changed in the last five minutes.

Of course, nothing has.

The superintendent believes that everyone in Hawkins is somehow used to temperatures that makes their eyelids freeze shut in the thirty second walk to the car in the morning. Billy jams a knit cap on his head and seriously considers calling in.

A last ditch effort to quell the rising fury in his veins, that like.

He's gonna have to scrape his windows, and freeze his dick off, and deal with the neighbor.

The one who looks like he doesn't mind the cold so much because he carries the sun with him, fucking asshole.

People shouldn't be wandering the streets when their eyelids could freeze shut, right?

Billy checks his phone one more time, frowning at a text from Joyce to pick up some coffee on your way in, and tosses his bag over his shoulder before he can change his mind.

--

It's so much worse than expected.

Billy's lungs seize up on his second intake of fresh air because no one should be huffing sulfur or gaseous ice or whatever the fuck this shit is first thing in the morning. On a Monday. The first one after Christmas break, and.

"God damn, holy shit, holy shit,"  Billy bounces the whole way to the Camaro, breath coming in short, comical bursts of steam that make his nose run. He swipes dramatically at his face, struggling to get his keys into the lock while balancing his thermos on one arm and his messenger bag on the other.

Billy's in the middle of forcing the door open, its hinges are frozen solid with ice goddammit, when Steve fucking Harrington appears like a cloud on the wind.

"Howdy neighbor," Steve says. Like they're cowboys in a shitty film from the 1970s. The wind kicks a lock of brown hair into Harrington's face and he shivers. "Wow, it's really blowing out here, huh?"

Midwesterner's love doing that.

Pointing out the obvious.

Billy grumbles a response, flinging his car door open and jamming the keys into the ignition.

Steve's saying something.

Talking like always, about his cat or maybe the beer they keep saying they'll have together, and generally Billy puts up with it but not today. He isn't going to freeze to death for a pair of legs.

The Camaro roars to life, clearly pissed at having to work on such a disgusting day, and. Alright. Letting your car "warm up," is something so Midwestern Billy can't even talk about it.

It takes him all of two minutes to scrape his windows, electing to carve holes in each wall of ice rather than clear the whole thing. The metal handle of the scraper Max got him feels like the ninth circle of hell against the peachy skin of his fingers.

He should've bought some mittens.

Joyce is always saying he needs mittens, he should've asked for some--

Billy tosses the scraper into his back seat and climbs in, slamming the door shut behind him and cranking the heat up to high. Steve's watching from next to the fence in a fucking pea coat, and a scarf with care bears on it and.

Nothing else.

Fucking asshole.

Steve waves at him, like; hey I'm talking to you. Frantically, like the mouse Mr. Bane caught last week is important.

But Billy's too busy trying to back out of the driveway with five layers of shit restricting his movement. He cranks the music up and cautiously pulls onto the street. Nice and smooth like he's seen Steve do effortlessly, even with three inches of ice on the ground. Fucking asshole.

Billy makes it halfway before he hits something.

The wind kicks hair into his face as he assesses the damage.

"You should've scraped your driveway last night." Steve says helpfully.

He's got a cigarette hanging from his lips, stark in contrast to the weird home made scarf he's got folded around his neck. Billy tries not to think about Steve's lips as he makes his way to the back of the Camaro to see that, yup.

Of course.

His baby is stuck in the snow. Billy kicks the tire. Like that'll fix anything.

"That's not gonna fix anything." Steve says, leaning against the fence.

"Jesus, fuck. I know, Steve." Billy scrubs a hand across his face, gesturing to the Care Bear scarf. "Why the hell are you wearing that thing, you look like a fruit."

"I am a fruit."

"Well you look like the whole goddamn bowl, pretty boy." Billy digs around for a cigarette. "My kindergarteners don't even fuck with the Care Bears enough to own scarves." Billy squints, assessing Steve from head to toe, delighting in the awkward squirm of his limbs. He clicks his tongue, disappointed. "Couldn't look any fruiter if you tried."

Steve shrugs his shoulders, like. Don't yell at me, this isn't my fault.

And okay.

He's cute.

Billy gets struck by that every time he sees the guy, all over again, like. His profile is perfect. Sharp nose, pretty eyes. Thick lips.

Steve holds out a cigarette.

Billy takes it.

"One of my residents made it for me. He's learning how to flat pattern." Harrington says shyly. "Well, he made it for his grand daughter, but. It turned out worse than he expected so I offered to take it."

Billy squints. "The fuck does that mean?"

"Just means I was trying to be nice--"

"No, the." Billy grins in spite of himself. "The flat patterning, what's that?"

Steve shrugs again. "I'm not sure, I think it's like. A sewing term. Or something." A pretty blush the color of Steve's scarf spreads across the bridge of his nose. It looks like strawberry ice cream and Billy.

Has to look away.

"My mom sews," Billy says gruffy. "I've never heard her say that."

"Well, maybe she drapes?"

Billy squints again. "What?"

"Draping. That's another thing people do--"

Billy stamps the cigarette out and kicks his tire again. Steve jolts, like. Billy tried to kick him or something, which just makes the situation worse.

"God, they should've cancelled classes." Billy states. Well, screams, to no one in particular. "Who wants to go to work in the snow, who fucking. Likes this white bullshit?"

Steve leans against the fence and looks thoughtful. "I love the snow."

"You're not helping."

"You asked."

"No, I didn't." Billy shoots back. He digs his cellphone out and shakes his head. "Why are you still here, Harrington? Don't you have old people to take care of?"

Steve chuckles again. Light, like Christmas bells. "Don't you have screaming brats to teach?"

"My car's kinda stuck in the snow, you fucking dick." Billy's so focused on trying to order a lyft that he doesn't waste time on pleasantries. He expects that to be the end of it, when the wind picks up and he swears again, but. Steve just moves closer.

"Let me drive you." Steve says.

And.

The moment sort of hangs there.

In the two years that Billy's lived next to the guy, they've never hung out. Never house sat for each other, never spoken outside the occasional could you make sure your idiot friends don't block my driveway, and empty promises to grab a beer sometime.

So the offer catches him off guard.

Billy glances up from his phone, confused, to find Steve looking everywhere but at him. Harrington's shifting his weight, like. He's fucking nervous, or something.

Or maybe hoping Billy will say no because he's just being polite.

Billy glares.

Of course he's just being neighborly. Charitable. That's what Midwestern assholes do.

Billy waves his phone in the air, like, "I'm ordering a lyft." And it comes out sharper. More aggressive than he means it too, but Steve doesn't seem to notice.

"Just ride with me, it's on the way."

Billy points at the screen. "Jason will be here in ten minutes."

"What's Jason got that I don't have?" Harington quips, and.

Billy just wants shit to go back to normal. He shakes his head again, "Nah, 's okay, pretty boy. Thanks anyway." Before turning back to his phone like he's got important shit to worry about.

Steve stands.

Stares.

Waits, for longer than is necessary, before clearing his throat. "Okay, well. Happy first day back." He says.

And if Billy didn’t know any better he'd say Steve sounds almost.

Disappointed.

--

When Billy gets off of work that night the snow is gone from his driveway.

--

Billy still has bad days.

They always start before dawn. With the claws of his nightmare leaving scratches down the lining of his throat. It's like Billy's carrying an anchor around his neck, or his veins are filled with playdough the color of the sun on those afternoons. He feels lazy and sluggish and like if someone looks at him for too long he'll break. Snap and crackle, like an open flame against fresh skin.

Billy still has bad days but they don't come unless he's been slipping for a while. Like forgetting to take his medication, or not writing his letter every night before bed.

The one to Neil, that his therapist says will help him work through the last of the road blocks that stand in the way of, "ultimate healing."

Billy used to think it was horseshit.

But Neil. Everything that happened, everything that still happens--when Billy goes home for Christmas, or when Susan calls and he can hear the slur of hate on the other end of the line--is standing in the way of something.

There are so many letters.

So much he wants to say.

Written on anything Billy can find, like. Napkins and the backs of take out menus--old drawings that the kids send home with him after Art class on Fridays.

The pages are kept in a binder.

His therapist says it's important to decorate the binder with, like. Stuff that makes him feel good. Words and phrases, stickers, pictures of the people he loves and drawings of all his favorite things. The folder is supposed to act as a visual reminder of the blanket of love that surrounds him, or something.

Melvalds only had brown folders when he went to pick his up, so.

The folder is brown. Disgusting.

And so far the only decorations he's been able to stomach are one of those fancy stickers from Redbubble that depicts his favorite episode of Daria, and a picture of him and Maxine with underwear on their heads.

Billy thinks it could be sad to some people.

That a poor, little abused boy only has two things in life that protect him from the shadow which falls with the setting sun, but it's the truth. Life is hard and fucked up. Billy has trouble letting people close, letting people in, so he sticks with the basics. The tried and true.

Maxine and his gravity bong.

Billy Hargrove is a simple man.

--

So it's two weeks after Steve shovels his driveway and Billy tells his therapist, like. "This fucking guy just. Did something nice for me."

And she clearly wonders what's wrong with him. "Did you say thank you?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because," Billy tries not to get defensive about shit these days, because. It's only a hop-skip-and a jump from defensiveness to downright aggression and Megan, his well meaning shrink, doesn't deserve that even on her most annoying days.

His leg bounces under the table, thwacking against its mahogany edge loud enough that Megan can hear it over the fucking phone, so she says, "Billy. Stop."

Because they have a deal about nervous ticks.

Billy is supposed to say his safe word when he starts to feel anxious, but.

He fucking hates that shit. Hates being babied. Hates feeling like he's a goddamn basket case that needs to be rooted in reality when his trauma rears its ugly head. Billy smiles, the whole thing falling flat against his face. "I'm stopping."

Megan sighs. "Why haven't you thanked Steve for his act of kindness?"

"Because, like." Billy's shaking his leg again. Softer this time; it's a secret. "How do I know he isn't trying to, fucking. Get information out of me. Or out me to the community, or. Make fun of the way I'm a grown man who can't shovel his own driveway after a snowstorm--"

"I think you're internalizing your fears, Billy."

"Yeah, no shit." He snaps. Billy feels bad for half a second but then she's giggling, like she always does, which makes him feel less like the big bad wolf and more like one of the three little pigs. The guy with the straw, maybe?

Billy sighs, scrubbing at his face. "What does that even mean?"

Megan makes a noise on the other end of the line, like. In the six months that Billy's been in therapy he should've learned this by now.

Dude's got a short attention span, sue him.

And, sure enough. "Twice a week we meet over the phone and you don't know that internalizing your fears means you're trying to write the ending to a story you haven't even read yet?"

"Like, uh," Billy says intelligently. "What's that shit you're always saying? About seeing a book on the shelf and--"

"Guessing the ending. Yup, that's right." Megan sounds pleased. Billy ignores the bloom of happiness in his chest, because like. He doesn't really deserve it. She doesn't give him time to dwell, though. "Steve did something nice for you. Maybe he has suspicious intent--"

Billy sucks in a breath, like.

Dramatic. Loud enough that Megan snorts and says, "Hold on, you're jumping to conclusions again."

Billy really fucking.

Hates how perceptive she can be.

Megan keeps talking and Billy listens, because he pays her after all. "If you're really worried that his intentions are cloudy, do something nice for him in return."

"Something nice," Billy repeats. Like he's never heard of such a concept. "Something nice, like. Buy him flowers?"

Megan snorts. "Do you want to buy him flowers?"

"No, why would you think that?"

"Because you--" His therapist sighs. Billy embraces the feeling it gives him, yanking her chain a little bit. "Listen. I don't know this Steve person, and I've never heard you talk about him beyond this beer you're supposed to have together, like. Never. But has he ever given you a reason to think he's out to hurt you?"

Billy thinks back over two years and a million one-dimensional interactions.

Steve never loses his temper.

Not when Billy calls to have the cars that block his driveway towed, not when Billy bitches about the daisy bushes shedding into his yard in the fall, and Steve always picks up Mr. Bane's cat shit from Billy's front porch when the Gremlin actually goes outside.

Always with a smile and a sweet little, I think Mr. B likes you.

And, like.

It was pretty nice of Steve to offer Billy a ride that morning.

And shovel his driveway after work, just because he knew Billy probably wouldn't do it.

The whole thing, it. Fills Billy with something he can't quite express, a warmth he only ever feels when Max calls a dozen times to remind him to eat dinner when he sends a few intense messages.

Megan takes his silence, as always, like a breakthrough.

"So," She says, clearly satisfied. "Same time next week?"

--

Billy spends three days waiting for Steve to make it easy for him.

Because Harrington's a home owner, and there's always something, right? A problem he needs help with, like. A leaky pipe that needs fixed, a cup of sugar for a recipe that he didn't account for, ghosts in the attic. Typical HOA bullshit.

Billy stares out his window at the lovely split level next door and decides he'll take anything, do anything, to get this fucking anchor of guilt off his back for the whole driveway situation. The opportunity never presents itself.

The ducks never fall in a row.

Steve just leaves the house every morning, same time as Billy, same as always, with a gentle Howdy neighbor. And a smile tugging at his pretty pink lips, hair perfect and windswept because he's a fucking asshole and it only takes two days.

Forty-eight hours before Billy's hatching a plan to pay Harrington back and inventing problems to solve, like some sort of demonic Bob the Builder.

He calls Max on Thursday and comes up with a list. Something tangible, like breaking Steve's garage window with a ski ball. Or trapping Mr. Bane in a sweater and pretending like he's gone missing so Steve will have to round up a search party, but.

Billy knows Megan would call that instigating, antagonizing, and causing trouble, which Billy's trying not to do anymore.

So he brings up flowers again, because.

Fuck it--maybe he's wanted to see Steve behind a bouquet of Lilies of the Valley for months now.

And Max goes all soft.

And quiet, too, before whispering, "I'm really proud of you, you know? For getting better."

Then suddenly Billy can't breathe because there's a lump in his throat.

Because he is trying to get better. To live honestly, to lead with love--whatever hippie-dippie bullshit Megan is always spoon feeding him, so.

With Max's blessing, Billy's about to, like. Knock on Steve's door with a plate of pot brownies and a shitty thanks for being a decent human card when Mr. Bane leaves a dead bird on Billy's porch, the third one in a month, and Billy hatches an idea.

--

Steve's front door is yellow.

Like. Sunshine yellow. Valley girl yellow.

Which Billy used to think was charming but now thinks is kind of annoying, when coupled with Steve's perpetually sunny disposition. And okay. Maybe it sort of pokes and prods at that piece of him that's always missing home.

Maybe it makes him a little bit sad, like. He'll never really feel at peace anywhere else.

But before Billy can dwell on it, or raise his fist to knock on the door, Steve's opening it and preparing to step through. He's using his foot to stop Mr. Bane from running out into the yard so he doesn't see Billy right away, which.

Also means he's going somewhere.

Which inherently means Billy's caught him at a bad time. Billy holds the paper bag closer to his chest and feels the words bubbling up before he can practice his breathing, or. Stop them. Because this is his third biggest fear after arguments and spiders.

"I've caught you at a bad time, I'm sorry, I'll just come back la--"

Steve breaks out into a grin so big. So bright, that it rivals anything Billy's ever seen before.

"Howdy, neighbor!" Steve says.

And Billy shifts nervously from one foot to the other, like. "Is this a bad time?"

"No, it's not a--"

"Because I can come back later." Billy nods, already turning on his heel to escape, and like. Fly into the sun. "Or not at all. I can just mail it to you, that's. Yeah, I'll just stick it in the post or something."

Steve grabs his elbow.

Billy looks at the hand on his elbow, and down at Steve’s feet. There aren’t any shoes or anything, so.

Billy's overreacting.

Fuck. He swallows, raising his eyes with caution to see Steve smiling again. Even wider than before, if that's possible.

Harrington licks his lips. "Whatcha got there?" He says, nodding to the bag, and Steve.

He's wearing glasses today.

Billy feels like someone hit him on the back of the head with a ski ball. Steve looks so soft, in white stripped overalls and a green sweater, that Billy doesn't know whether to fluff him like a pillow or fucking.

Punch him in the face.

Billy holds out the paper bag. "It's for you."

Steve looks at him strangely but he's still smiling, which.

Is good.

Billy thinks it's good but then he knows its good when Steve giggles. "I gathered that. What is it?"

"It's a, uh. You know." Billy tries. "You know one of those things? Where it's, like, a thing but you aren't supposed to know what it is?"

Steve blinks at him, cheeks turning pink like they always do. "A surprise?"

"That's the one." Billy snaps his fingers, like. Ah-ha. Except it isn't a surprise, it's just. "It's a way to say thanks. For the whole," Billy concludes, gesturing vaguely to their front lawns, to. "The driveway."

Steve blushes even harder. "You didn't have to get me a present--"

"It's not a present."

"That was just me trying to be nice." Steve leans against the door jam, eyes searching. "It doesn't call for a--"

"It's not a present." Billy says again. Steve doesn't look like he believes him, so Billy, like. Shoves the paper bag to his chest. "Look, open it now or don't. Fucking, throw it away for all I care, it's fine."

Billy turns on his heel because fuck this.

Fuck trying to pay back nice with nice and fuck Steve for starting this whole debacle to begin with. Billy makes it down one step and then Steve is laughing so hard he can't stand up straight.

Which just makes Billy feel worse, because.

"You're laughing." Billy gapes. "I bring you a present to say thanks for not being an asshole, and you're laughing."

Steve doesn't answer, he just.

Keeps on laughing, and okay.

This is Billy's third greatest fear. After abandonment and fighting. Fists covered in blood--his or someone else's, it doesn't matter. He frowns, turning to leave again when Steve straightens and coughs once into the palm of his hand.

"Thought it wasn't a present," Steve quips, and he's looking at Billy with, like. Sparkly eyes. He shrugs. "I'm not sure what it means."

Billy doesn't get it. "It doesn't have to mean anything--"

"No, like." Steve peers into the bag again, clearly holding back tears. "Why did you get me a bag of dead mice?"

"You can get them at the pet store." Billy says, because. You can, alright? He fiddles with the sleeves of his winter coat. "They're for Mr. Bane."

Steve just stares at him, eyes twinkling like two polished diamonds in his head.

And he's not saying anything, or. Laughing anymore, he's just. Watching Billy fall to pieces on his walkway as he tries to defend himself.

Billy focuses on the clouds that inch across the sky. "Mr. Bane, he's. He's always catching shit, like. Dead shit and leaving it on my porch. I just thought if he wants to eat dead things I can just. Buy him a pack or whatever. Like a normal person."

Steve grins. "You know they do that because they think you can't feed yourself."

Billy wrinkles his nose. "Well I fucking appreciate it, but I don't want to eat dead mice and birds and shit."

Steve chuckles once before staring again.

Like he's memorizing Billy's face, or like. They're having a competition that Billy doesn't know about.

Billy gestures to the bag again. "Would you just accept it, Steve? Please?"

Harrington looks down at the mice in his hands and nods slowly, like the decision is really requiring some thought.

Billy feels stupid.

This was so fucking stupid--

"Sure, Billy." Harrington says. Soft, and. Sweet. "No one's ever given me such a thoughtful gift before, so. Thank you."

And Billy feels like the tin man getting oil on his joints after a year of rusting in the forest, when Steve accepts his weird ass gesture. He nods, mouth lapsing into a thin, unamused line. "Okay, then. See ya 'round," Billy says.

And then he's turning, and.

Leaving.

Before Steve can say anything else.

The clouds inch like caterpillars across the bright winter sky and Steve's walkway seems so much longer on the journey home.

[knives-out20]

Discrepancy - Dean Corso x Male!OC - #3

Fandom: The Ninth Gate (1999)

Pairing: Ambrósio ‘Ambrose’ Fargas (OC) x Dean Corso

Warnings: Swearing, Faggotry, Spoilers for The Ninth Gate, Flirting, Homoerotism, Sexual phone stuff but not phone sex y’know, Ambrósio has no chill and knows no bounds y’all,

Notes: what is going ON y’all....lmao

Dean lay on the bed of his hotel room in Paris, talking to Ambrósio over the phone. "Ambrósio, how are you holding up?"

"I'm lying down if that answers your question, Dean" Ambrósio answered, definitely wearing a shit-eating grin.

Lying down, Dean thought. "What're you doing?"

"Oh, I dunno...talking to some shady book dealer over the telephone."

"I'm shady?" Dean chuckled. "First I'm out of place, and now I'm shady?"

"Yea, man, what the fuck is with your fucking gray hairs around your ears, you got premature graying or something?" Ambrósio inquired, squinting a bit.

"Have you just been thinking about the hairs around my ears lately?"

"I've been thinking of more than the hair around your ears, Dean."

"My facial hair?" Dean teased.

"More than your hair, man."

Dean grinned, "ever the flirt?"

"I try my best, Corso." Ambrósio rubbed his thigh, biting the edge of his lip.

"You been, uh...back at the house, as of late?"

Ambrósio shrugged. "Carmen let me go back to check it out with her really buff boyfriend, like, wrestler-type buff, Jeronimo's huge."

"Is he setting some high expectations up for me?"

Ambrósio decided to mess with Dean. He put on a puzzled tone, "who said they're for you?"

This caught Dean off-guard, like Ambrósio wanted it to. "Oh- uh, nothing, I just- all this had led me to assume-"

"Chill, man, calm down, I'm playing around" Ambrósio giggled. "It felt a bit...grim, but that's obvious, y'know? I mean, with...the reason why I'm staying with my friends in the first place."

"Yea."

A moment of silence struck the two before Ambrósio asked Dean another question. "Where are you right now?"

Dean's gaze darted around his hotel room. "In a hotel."

"Central?"

Dean slowly licked his lips in thought. "Uhh...Sure." He nodded, pulling out a slip of paper and a pen. "I'm staying at this Hotel Central place nearby, in this room. You can reach me there if you're specific."

"No, no. Out of the country." Dean corrected him.

Ambrósio scoffed, "yea, so where are you?"

"France. Ever been?"

"You offering?"

"Again?"

"I'm assuming that's a no."

Ambrósio broke out into a smile as he leaned back in his seat. "Does adoption not exist in America, or wherever?" He giggled. "I'm adopted, half-Pakistani."

"Ever been?"

"You offering?" Ambrósio joked.

"Don't lose hope" Dean smiled. "If I grow to like you enough, decide I need some sort of companionship in my life, I'll reach out."

"You make it seem like it'll be a privilege to me, to be able to hang out with you. It's quite the opposite."

"Oh, really?"

"Yea. It'll be a privilege to you, or rather anyone, to hang out with me, Ambrósio Fargas."

"That's true. Any new up-comings with your..uh...grandfather?"

"Mmh." Ambrósio hummed in a gloomy way. "Jeronimo has an uncle that's in the funeral business. He'll help with all the funeral stuff for my Avô."

"Wish I could come."

"It's like you want to be out of place, Dean, jeez" Ambrósio laughed.

Dean liked listening to Ambrósio's laughter, even more-so since he caused it. He assumes he just liked that he was able to make Ambrósio smile during this suddenly-dark time in his life, given the abrupt death of Victor and all.

Ambrósio and Dean got hit with another moment of comfortable silence. It seemed to be a running thing between the two men.

"You still lying down?"

"On my bed in Carmen's guest bedroom, yea. Why? You gonna ask me what I'm wearing?"

"I wouldn't be surprised if you're still wearing that red shirt."

"I have a damn washing machine, Dean" Ambrósio licked his lips. "It's unbuttoned just like the first time you saw it."

"You wearing those gray pants, too? With the stripes?"

Ambrósio hummed his answer, meaning a 'no." "I'm wearin' some shorts, actually. Switching things up, today. What're you wearing, Corso?"

"Same things from the day you first saw me."

"Not one for changes, eh?" Ambrósio questioned. "Well, no. You probably are, given that Balkan's making you go here 'n' there around the globe for some old books 'n'...whatever. Y'know?"

"Yea," Dean nodded. "I'm really sorry, too, Ambrósio. About your grandfather. I never meant for this to happen to him, I didn't anticipate it like you did, but anticipation really has nothing to do with it." He explained. "I'm sorry."

"It's nothing. My Avô was old as hell anyway, Dean. He was bound to go sometime, but I just...not so soon. He was a good man."

"I'm sure he was, he seemed like it."

Ambrósio smiled. "You're a good man, too."

"Really?"

"Yea." Ambrósio nodded. "You, you- you didn't need to give me your hotel number that night you first came, you didn't need to come inside the house to call for me the other day. You didn't need to make sure I was okay, and gonna be okay. You didn't need to make sure I had some place to stay, or ask for Carmen's number in order to reach me. Hell, you don't need to be talking to me right now" he listed out, admittedly blushing a bit.

"But...I am."

"But you are, exactly. You added me into your little equation when you had the choice to leave me in your memories as Fargas' pretty, queer grandkid."

"'Pretty'?" Dean repeated.

"I'm fucking divine, Dean, it's in my name. Meanwhile, Dean means like...'valley.'"

"Would you describe me as a valley, Ambrose?"

"A valley of weird gray hairs, some round glasses, dark academia, and an angular face."

"You think my face is angular?"

"In a good way, pretty boy."

Dean smirked to himself, dragging his free hand slowly down the side of his face. "You think I'm pretty, too?"

"I thought the flirting made it obvious."

"I'm more than a pretty face, y'know" Dean sassed.

"Well, duh. I'm not shallow" Ambrósio scoffed. "I like when we talk, too, and not just for your voice-"

"You like my voice?"

"I've told you this before!"

Ambrósio chortled. "I don't only listen to Hendrix and Foreigner, Dean, Jesus Christ."

"Who else do you listen to?"

Ambrósio stepped back, towards his staircase. "I could listen to you. You sound like you could do a number on people if you sing."

Dean knowingly shook his head, looking down to hide his smile. "I don't sing, but...thanks."

Dean hummed in agreement. "You mentioned reciting poetry, when I met you."

"Yessir."

"What writers do you like?"

"Aw, damn, uh..." Ambrósio scratched his jaw in thought. "Baudelaire, definitely. And JP Marquand, Oscar Wilde, and Lord Byron. To name a few."

"Quite an array."

"You like?"

"I wouldn't shy away from the names. It's an impressive list."

"Thank you, I know." Ambrósio smiled, proud of himself.

"You still lying down?"

"Yea, what're you doing?"

"Lying down, on my hotel room's bed, talking to the dreamy, divine grandson of Victor Fargas." Dean flirted, stroking his beard.

Ambrósio poked the inside of his cheek with his tongue. "I am dreamy."

"You really are."

"So..."

"So?"

"So, we're just both lying down, on our beds, talking to each other over the telephone?"

"Why, would you rather be doing something else, with somebody else?" Dean joked.

Ambrósio raised his eyebrows. "I'd rather be doing something else that involves being on a bed, with you...Doing a far more scandalous activity than just talking."

Dean fought back a grin, looking over at the wall. "You're on quite the roll, huh?"

"Whether it be the romantic poets I indulge in, or my natural-born charm, the world may never know."

"I think it's just you, honestly."

"I'm touched." Ambrósio placed his free hand over his chest, where his heart lay underneath. "Oh, also- I figured out another song you remind me of."

"Really? Which?"

"Poison by Alice Cooper. I was gonna say his other song Feed My Frankenstein for the sake of the title and sexual themes, but there's lyrics in there regarding a body part that neither I nor you have...I'm assuming. There's nothing wrong with if you do, though. I have a guy friend with the body part, but he's saving up money to get rid of it."

Dean's eyebrows jumped. "You listen to Alice Cooper?"

"Sometimes, do you?"

"Not really my thing."

"Ah, yes, let me guess." Ambrósio raised a finger in thought. "You enjoy sitting back in leather armchairs, surrounded by dusty, possibly-expensive books and listening to the likes of Debussy, Chopin...I happen to like Tchaikovsky myself, if he's any your style."

Dean laughed softly. "No, not actually. I don't know what I listen to, I don't know if it could be classified as one thing."

"If you ever come back to Portugal, we could listen to my records together 'n' see what you're into" Ambrósio offered.

"Are you asking me out?" Dean joked.

"Don't flatter yourself. I'm a gentleman, I'd buy you dinner, first." Ambrósio corrected him. "I'm just flirting your socks of for the time being." He told, sliding a hand through his dark hair; he closed his eyes and gave it a tug, trying to imagine that it was someone else, someone specific, tugging his hair in his bed.

"I'm not wearing any socks right now."

"Task complete." Ambrósio nodded slowly, sure of himself. His smile grew when he heard Dean's slight laugh through the phone.

"Dinner, huh?"

"Yea. Wine, music, candlelight, the whole shebang. Again, a gentleman."

"The sound of it does intrigue me."

"That's the goal" Ambrósio stared up at the ceiling. 

"Your activity from before, regarding a bed...What would that include?" Dean didn't know what he was doing, nor what he was hoping to accomplish, but liked the power it held over Ambrósio trying to flirt with him...Well, trying and succeeding, but he liked playing a hard-to-get guy.

"Oh, I'm not entirely sure." Ambrósio partially lied. "Winding, twisting, turning, gyrating, writhing...incessant writhing" he purred. "Perhaps some assorted debaucheries along the way."

"You can be so charming when you want something, eh, Ambrose?"

"Or someone," Ambrósio added. "And I can be so charming, full stop."

"Of course you can."

"Alright, how can I get to you, Dean?" Ambrósio asked him. "Tell me the rules." He whispered through the telephone, Dean stifling a shiver.

"Can I trust you?" Dean playfully rolled his eyes.

"Oh, my dearest Dean, have I given you any reason not to?"

"That's true."

Ambrósio's voice turned into another whisper, "you and I could be as thick as fuckin' thieves. Tell me the rules, Dean." His fingers stroked from his chin to his cheek, a faraway look on his face.

Dean could just imagine the look on Ambrósio's face as they spoke. "First, you gotta tell me if I can call you 'chico' yet."

"Beg for it, like you wanted to" Ambrósio reminded him, free hand trailing down his neck, down his torso.

Dean turned back around, seeing Ambrósio holding onto the opened gate. "What is it, chico? Can I call you ‘chico’?"

“If you ask nicely.”

Dean rolled his eyes knowingly, “save either one of us begging for something from the other for another time.” He finally flirted back. 

Dean held a knowing expression on his face. He should've expected this.

"No problem, Ambrose. Can I call you 'chico', yet?"

"Only if you beg like you wanted to." Ambrósio flirted.

Dean looked around in thought, "wouldn't you rather in person?"

"Would either one of us want to travel seventeen-ish hours for you to beg me for something so small in the midst of your big book mission?" Ambrósio rhetorically asked. "You wanna call me 'chico', you gotta do what you suggested. It was your words, not mine, big man."

Dean hummed. "Please?"

"'Please' what?"

Dean giggled quietly. "Please, can I call you 'chico'? Please?" He insisted, "please? Let me call you 'chico', Ambrósio, please."

Ambrósio had a smug look on his face, "you may."

"That was barely any begging."

"Let's save actual begging for some other time, when we're closer together. Okay, amor?"

"Okay, chico." 

"I also thought of another song."

"You're full of them for someone who supposedly couldn't think of any."

"Shut up," Ambrósio chuckled. "I Was Made For Loving You."

Dean licked his lips, "by Kiss?"

"You like Kiss?" Ambrósio looked surprised.

"I know Kiss, and I know the song you mentioned. How come I never remind you of any Jimi Hendrix songs?"

"That's not my problem" Ambrósio replied. "I Was Made For Loving You, Dean. Take it or leave it."

"Y'know what, Ambrósio?" Dean inquired. "Maybe you were."

"Not even 'maybe', Dean. I know I am." Ambrósio checked the time. "Listen, I gotta get going, a guy's gotta run. Talk soon?"

"Sure thing, chico."

"Bye, Dean. Stay safe."

"You too."

Ambrósio and Dean hung up their phones, Ambrósio's head spinning of round glasses, prominent cheekbones and smooth voices as he left the bedroom. Whereas Dean stayed where he was, rubbing his thighs with thoughts of dark, soulful eyes, inked-up torsos, and dreamy grandsons.

Both of them just hoped Dean's mission would end quick so the two could talk physically again, or maybe do a greater deal than talking.

[storiesforallfandoms]

facing it alone ~ 10k;z nation

word count: 2537

request?: yes!

@colsondaddybakerxx​​ “Yeah.. is it okay if you use my name? It’s Alison (it’s okay if you can’t) and she spent mostly all of the apocalypse alone but then she runs into the crew (basically the main characters in z nation) and they helped her and toke her in, then she Mets 10k.. at first he really shy but when he opens up to her she realizes they both have a lot in common?? And he very very protective over her, making sure no zombies is even close to her and protecting her mostly all the time.. and eventually he asks her out? Pls try and add some zombie scenes haha x also if it’s to hard to get all the crew in the story it’s okay.. just at least add doc and warren xx”

description: after facing the zombie apocalypse alone for some time, alison ends up running into some survivors, and finds herself bonding with the youngest of the crew

pairing: 10k x female!reader

warnings: swearing, violence, mentions of death

masterlist

Facing the zombie apocalypse alone was much easier than having to face it with people. Being with people was just asking for heartbreak. Eventually they would die, whether it be of old age or other causes, and then they’d turn into a zombie and have to be mercied before they turned completely. Too much emotion, that’s the last thing you wanted during the apocalypse.

That’s why I travelled alone, except for the German Sheppard I found not too long after I started travelling alone. He was the only companionship I really needed, plus I managed to train him to detect when Zs were coming and to be able to fight against them himself.

It had been days since our last meal, and since we last found decent shelter, and I could tell both of us were starting to feel it. I hadn’t slept in days, I only had a few small foods that I was had to share with Hunter and they were starting to become scarce. I had no idea when we’d find another place to stay, or when we’d find food. For the first time in a very long time, I was genuinely afraid that things were going to end for me soon.

Hunter stopped suddenly and started to growl. Without hesitation, I positioned my gun to point towards where Hunter was looking. I waited to hear the familiar growling of a Z and to see one starting to approach, however I was shocked when I saw that it wasn’t a Z, but a totally healthy human, also with a gun raised and pointed at me.

“Hey!” came a female voice. “Are you bitten or otherwise unhealthy?”

“No ma’am!” I responded. “Yourself?”

“Not that I know of.”

I slowly started to lower my weapon. Hunter was still on high alert, although now he wasn’t growing at much. “Go check her out, boy, make sure she’s not dangerous.”

Hunter approached the woman slowly, knowing not to fully charge at a human unless he wanted a first class ticket to Dog Z-dom. She lowered her gun as well as she saw him approaching. As if knowing what he was about to do, she put her hand out and allowed Hunter to sniff her, before giving him a brief scratch behind his ear. That was the number one way to get on Hunter’s good side.

As if to tell me everything was fine, Hunter barked. “Yeah, yeah, I see you getting the best petting of your life, I’m coming.”

I was still cautious as I approached the woman, and she seemed to be as well.

“Lieutenant Roberta Warren,” she said, holding a hand out to me.

“Alison,” I responded, shaking her hand. “And this is Hunter.”

Hunter barked when he heard his name. Roberta smiled at him, petting his head again. “Nice to meet the two of you. Are you travelling alone?”

“Yes ma’am,” I responded. “Just the two of us for at least a year now. What about you?”

“There’s an...accidental team of us,” she responded. “Eight of us as of right now, travelling in a truck back that way.” My stomach chose that moment to make a loud noise, giving away my dire hunger. “When was the last time you ate?”

“Couple days now. We have snacks, but it’s not a lot.”

“You wanna come with us? We’ve recently gotten some food, and we’re looking for shelter for the night. What’s a ninth person, and they’re adorable dog.”

I looked down at Hunter. He looked up at me excitedly. Although I was sure he didn’t understand the situation that much, he definitely understood the words “we have food”, and he understood that he, too, was hungry.

What other choice did I have? Besides starve to death and become a Z. I sighed heavily and placed my machine gun over my shoulder. “Show me the way.”

When Roberta said they had a small team, she really meant a small team. All eight of them were armed to the teeth with guns, knives, spikes, and more. It definitely made my lousy machine gun look obsolete.

“Guys,” Roberta announced, “meet Alison. She’ll be joining us for a while. Alison, this is Doc, Garnett, Addy, Mack, Cassandra, Murphy, and 10k.”

I raised an eyebrow at the younger guy that Roberta addressed last. “10k? Like...ten thousand? That’s...your name?”

He looked at me for a minute before looking down at the ground without a response. I raised an eyebrow at him, amused by the reaction.

“That’s his name, don’t wear it out,” the older man Roberta introduced as Doc spoke. “Nice to have you along with us, and your cute lil pooch.”

Hunter whined happily at the attention he was starting to get.

“Climb in,” Garnett told us, nodding towards the back of the truck. “We should keep moving.”

Everyone got into the truck. I jumped into the pan and whistled for Hunter to join me. He jumped in effortlessly and laid between myself and 10k, resting his head on 10k’s lap. 10k looked startled at first until I laughed at his expression.

“Unless you’re a Z he’s harmless,” I assured him. “You can pet him if you want.”

10k tentatively put his hand on Hunter’s head. Hunter poked 10k’s head with his nose and gave him a quick lick before resting himself comfortably on 10k’s lap. I watched 10k relax and smile as he began to scratch behind Hunter’s ear. I couldn’t help but smile myself, but quickly pretended that it had never happened.

I couldn’t let myself get too close. Once I’ve eaten and gotten some shelter, it would be time to go again. I couldn’t stay around, I couldn’t get attached. Not again.

~~~~~~

We found a lovely house that seemed to belong to a big family once upon a time. It was Z free and had enough space for everyone to be able to sleep comfortably.

Despite finally having a safe place for a night, I found myself unable to sleep. So instead of lying on the floor and keeping up all night, I decided to go outside to get a breath of fresh air. I had taken a room on the second floor of the house, so I opened the window and reached out to take hold of the roof, pulling myself up with ease.

I exclaimed with shock when I saw that I wasn't the only one with this idea. My sudden appearance also shocked 10k, as he jumped and nearly dropped his gun.

“Sorry,” I said. “Didn’t know anyone else was up here. Mind if I join you?”

“You’re already here, I feel like it’d be rude of me to say no now,” he responded.

I chuckled. “I guess you have a point.”

I pulled myself up onto the roof and settled myself next to him. Although he seemed relatively relaxed, 10k still held on to his gun as if his life depended on it. In some ways, I guess it did.

“Why do they call you 10k?” I asked as I laid back on the roof, looking up at the starry night.

“I called myself that, actually,” he told me. “It’s a nickname I came up with when everything started.”

“What’s the meaning of it?”

“It’s how many Zs I’m gonna kill.”

“And what’s your total at now?”

He paused a moment to think before responding, “Two thousand, one hundred eleven.”

My eyes widened. “Holy shit! That’s impressive. What do you have, like, super accurate aim?”

“Basically. I rarely, if ever, miss.” I made a face, impressed by his accuracy. “Why do you travel alone? Were you with someone?”

My body tensed up at the question. Sure, it was innocent enough, and an obvious question to ask someone who had been travelling by themselves.

“I was...once,” I admitted. “A long time ago.”

“What happened to them?”

“It wasn’t a them, it was a him,” I responded. “An old friend of mine, we grew up together. When I was out looking for survivors, he was the only one I came across. We travelled together for months, we found Hunter together and trained him to be as he is. About a year ago, we were fighting some Zs and one...one bit him. Got him pretty good before I could shoot the fucker. We both knew I had to kill him, but neither of us wanted me to. Before I could get the courage to do it, he took my gun and mercy shot himself. It’s...just been me and Hunter ever since.”

10k looked at me with pity and sadness. I kept my eyes trained on the sky, but I could see him out of the corner of my eye.

“I’m sorry.”

I shook my head. “No, don’t be. It was a long time ago. I’ve gotten over it."

There was a stretch of silence between us. 10k raised his gun and a shot rang out. I sat up to see a Z falling as 10k cocked his gun.

“Two thousand, one hundred twelve,” he declared.

“Showoff,” I chuckled, bringing my knees to my chin.

“I had to kill my dad,” 10k said, surprising me suddenly. “It was just the two of us, too, and he started to turn. I was forced to mercy kill him, stabbed him through the head. I was alone until I met the people here, too. They’re nice, I prefer to travel with them than to travel alone.”

“They seem nice,” I agreed, although even I could hear the unease in my tone.

10k looked at me. “You’re...gonna stay with us, right? It’s safer to be in a pack.”

“Not if one of you die and become a Z, or if you have to kill someone,” I pointed out. But when I looked up at him, 10k looked kind of upset by my response, like he wanted me to stay. And there was just something about that look that made it hard to say no. “But...maybe it will be better for me and for Hunter if we stay for a while.”

His face lit up, and I couldn’t help but smile as well. The sound of Z groaning could be heard down belong. Luckily, it was only two Zs. I took 10k’s gun without hesitation and shot them both between the eyes with ease.

“I’d say that’s at least two thousand for me,” I noted, passing him his gun back. A smile crept across his face, and I couldn’t help but smile back.

~~~~~~

“A while” ended up becoming a few weeks, and a few weeks extended into a month, and before I knew it Hunter and I were welcomed into the team as if we had been one of their own all along. We constantly moved together, on the fast track to get to California with the hopes of coming up with a cure to the virus with the help of Murphy’s blood.

As to be expected, it wasn’t an easy task to get from point A to point B, but hey, what’s an adventure without some conflict?

After finding more shelter on one particular day, 10k and I were sent out to look for food and water as our supply was starting to get dangerously low again. As per usual, Hunter was right on my heels as we walked.

“Run ahead a little to check the area out, Hunt,” I told him. “But not too far that I can’t see you.”

He happily trotted along ahead of us, scoping out the area as he went.

“He’s pretty well trained,” 10k commented as he watched my faithful pal run ahead of us. “How did you do it?”

“Honestly, he sort of trained himself,” I admitted. “I mean, we fed him treats to praise him for being so good, but he figured out almost everything on his own; how to sense Zs, how to fight them, what we were asking him to do. Dogs are smarter than people think, you know.”

We were both quiet again for some time. Hunter circled back around to let me know he was still there before trotting off yet again.

10k’s arm almost shot out suddenly to stop me from walking before pointing his fun and shooting. He hit two Zs, with ease just as Hunter started barking furiously in front of us. The two of us raised our guns and started firing as the Zs came into view.

I noticed my pup waiting for instruction, so I brought my fingers to my lips and whistled, the signal to attack. In seconds, he was going after any Zs that were nearby, ripping them to shreds and mercying them.

While my guard was down, a Z managed to grab hold of me. I spun around, hitting them with my gun. Before I could shoot them, 10k finished them off. I looked over at him and offered him a small smile, which he returned.

When we finally finished with the Zs, I took my water bottle from my bag and poured some in a bowl for Hunter, who trotted over excitedly with Z blood still dripping from his muzzle.

“That was something,” I sighed. “Thanks for the save, by the way. I appreciate that. I definitely would’ve become Z chow if it weren’t for you.”

“I won’t let that happen,” he assured me. “I won’t even let you ever be changed.”

I looked up at 10k, my eyebrows furrowing together. “I know you won’t, and I appreciate that you have my back dude.”

10k looked down at the grass under his feet, now stained with Z blood as well. “I don’t just mean it like that, though.”

I tilted my head like a confused dog. “What do you mean?”

10k slung his gun over his shoulder and rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. “I know this isn’t exactly the best scenario to ask this, and I totally understand if you say no, but I’d like to maybe...try and be in a relationship with you...if you want that is.”

He couldn’t meet my eyes after he said that. I looked at him for a long time, waiting for him to take it back. I thought maybe this was some dumb joke, maybe Murphy put him up to it in order to try and embarrass me. I wouldn’t put that past Murphy.

But 10k’s face said he really meant it. 10k was too nice of a person to do something like this, and was definitely awkward enough to act this way if he really meant it.

I took his face in my hands and pulled him for a kiss. He seemed taken back at first, like he was unsure of how to respond to such an action. But he soon warmed into it, placing his hands on my arms and leaning back into me.

I pushed him away after hearing Hunter bark at the two of us. I couldn’t help but giggle at 10k’s dreamy smile on his face.

“That’s a yes, by the way,” I told him as I put Hunter’s bowl back in my bag. “Now, let’s get going. We can’t have a relationship if we’re eaten by Zs.”

[cuthian]

Becoming a Memory, Becoming a Treasure Chapter One

Hi everyone

New to the fandom, so please, be kind :D

I aged up everyone by two years for plot related purposes. I wanted the boys just a little older, so they were nineteen when they died, Julie is now seventeen.

I have no idea when I'll have more chapters for you, but I'll try to get it out as soon as I can! :D

Lots of Love, Annaelle

Becoming a Memory, Becoming a Treasure

“When Someone You Love Becomes a Memory, the Memory Becomes a Treasure.” —unknown author

-------

ONE

“Blessed Are Those Who Mourn, For They Will Be Comforted.”

—Matthew 5:4

JULIE

“You sure you want me to do this?”

Julie glanced at Reggie, who was bouncing up and down on his toes beside her, looking at the apartment door in front of them with a mix of breathless excitement and trepidation.

“Yeah,” he nodded. “Yeah, I wanna see her, I wanna know.”

Julie smiled lightly and barely resisted the urge to pat him on the arm. The last thing they needed was Reggie becoming temporarily corporeal when she was about to knock on his little sister’s door. “Okay,” she nodded, turning back towards the door. “Okay.”

She’s rehearsed what to say a million times since they’d found out Reggie’s little sister still lived in L.A. from Luke’s mom, since Reggie had begged her to give her the same kind of closure she’d helped Luke and his parents find.

She’d always been a little weak for Luke’s puppy eyes, but she hadn’t been prepared for Reggie’s.

Especially when the other boys had backed him up—they’d all known and babysat Reggie’s little sister. They all wanted to know what she was like as an adult; she’d been only nine when the boys had died.

Reggie had no idea what’d happened to their parents, no idea how they’d have reacted to their estranged kid dying at seventeen, no idea if they’d transferred their aggression from him to Maggie, and he needed to know. He needed to know she was okay.

He’d insisted on coming alone with Julie—hadn’t even let Luke come along.

Julie was pretty sure Luke had been as surprised as she was, but neither of them had fought him on it. Probably because Alex had sworn he’d sit on Luke to keep him where he was.

“I’m gonna knock,” Reggie said breathlessly, holding his hand up to the door, freezing less than an inch before his knuckles made contact with the wood. “I am.”

“Go on,” Julie told him kindly. “You can do it.”

“Right,” Reggie breathed. “Right.”

The sound of his knuckles rapping on the wooden door echoed through the hallway, and she could hear footsteps on the other side of the door, and Julie felt almost as nervous as Reggie undoubtedly did.

She could hear Reggie suck in a breath he didn’t need and hold it when the door swung open.

The woman on the other side of the door didn’t look anything like Reggie, and it kind of threw her. “Uh,” she said, blinking at the tall, dark-skinned woman in surprise. “Hi. My name’s Julie; I’m looking for Maggie? Peters?”

“Oh, sure,” the woman said, stepping to the side and holding the door open. “Come on in, I’ll get her.” She walked inside without waiting for an answer and Julie and Reggie exchanged a wary look before following her inside. “You one of her new artists?” The woman called out over her shoulder as she walked further into the apartment.

“Uh, no, I—” Julie began, but before she could continue, a second woman walked into the room and Reggie gasped sharply beside her.

And this… this had to be Maggie.

She and Reggie didn’t look a lot alike, but there were definitely similarities. They had the same kind of glossy dark hair—although hers was much longer than Reggie’s—with light, green eyes, and when Maggie smiled at the other woman, Julie recognized the tilt of her lips, because she’d seen it on Reggie’s so many times before.

“I didn’t know we had company,” Maggie told the other woman, slipping her arm around her waist and leaning in to peck her cheek. Reggie gasped again, but Julie couldn’t risk looking at him now.

“This is Julie,” the other woman said. “She said she’s here to see you.”

Maggie turned to her, smiling the smile that made her look so much like Reggie it almost hurt, and said, “Well, what can I do for you, Julie?”

“Uh,” Julie said again. “I, uh… Did you used to have a brother named Reggie?”

That, evidently, took Maggie by surprise. “Yeah,” she nodded eventually. “I do—I did. How did you—”

“I live in the house where he and the band used to practice,” Julie said, repeating the same half-truth she had told Luke’s parents. “Some of their things were still there, so… I went through it, and I found…” she pulled the little bracelet with cheap plastic beads and several instrument charms from her pocket. “I found Luke’s parents pretty easily, and they told me about other family members, and I thought you might like to have it back.”

Maggie’s eyes were wide and filled with tears as she stared at the tiny bracelet—Reggie had told her he’d made it for Maggie’s ninth birthday, that they’d all made it, because she loved listening to them play, loved telling people that her big brother was in a band, and that Maggie had given it to him for their big performance at the Orpheum, as a good luck charm.

He’d forgotten it in the garage when they’d left for the Orpheum.

Reggie, now standing a few steps closer to his sister, was watching her eagerly, almost hungrily, his eyes red with unshed tears even as she stepped towards Julie, hand outstretched for the bracelet.

“I’d forgotten,” she whispered. “I forgot he had this.”

The bracelet looked tiny in her hand, clearly meant to fit a child’s wrist.

“Tell her I love her,” Reggie rasped, and when he turned to look at Julie, she saw that tears were running down his cheeks. “I don’t care how, just make it up, just please. Tell her I love her.”

Julie nodded jerkily, hoping the other two women in the room hadn’t noticed, and said quietly, “He must’ve loved you a lot. I mean,” she hesitated when Maggie looked up with eyes as teary as her brother’s, “I found a couple of songs too, and I could tell they were written for a kid, so I assumed…”

Before Maggie could respond, a high-pitched cry rang out from one of the rooms in the back of the apartment and both women turned to look at the door in sync.

“Babe,” Maggie said in a shaking voice. “Please go check on Reg, I need—”

“Yeah,” the other woman said immediately, running her hand down Maggie’s side in a tender, comforting gesture. “Yeah, of course.”  She glanced towards Julie with an unreadable look before turning and disappearing through one of the doors at the other end of the room. The cries—a baby’s cries, Julie realized belatedly—ceased a moment later, and she could vaguely hear humming.

“You named your baby Reggie?” she blurted without thinking, without really stopping to think that this was a woman she didn’t know at all.

She ignored Reggie’s stunned, “I’m an uncle?” and focused on Maggie, who still wasn’t looking at her.

“Regina,” Maggie replied without really taking her eyes off the bracelet in her hand. “Although we end up calling her Reggie more often than not, so I guess, yeah.” She snorted a rather wet laugh and added, “I don’t think he’d ever have forgiven me if I named my kid Reginald. He would have hated it.”

“I would’ve,” Reggie said wetly, wiping his hand across his face. “I really would’ve.”

“I think it’s beautiful,” Julie whispered. “That you’re remembering him like this.”

Maggie looked up at her again, a little oddly, and now that Reggie was standing right next to her, Julie was struck for the first time just how much they did actually look alike. “I’m sorry,” Julie said, “I know that was—out of line, I just…” she shrugged. “I’ve spent so much time in that garage, in the same room that they did, sorting through their things… I feel like I know them.”

It wasn’t a lie, per se.

She did feel like she knew the boys—although the fact that she could talk to their ghosts did help.

Maggie’s expression softened a little. “I get that. Is there—is there a lot? I mean, is there more?”

“Uh,” Julie stuttered, “I mean, yeah. It’s mostly junk though. A bunch of clothes that I was gonna give to Goodwill, notebooks with songs… I gave those to Luke’s parents. Not much else.”

Maggie nodded shakily. “Okay. Well, if you… if you find anything else, can you—”

“Of course,” Julie nodded, pulling out her phone. “Do you want me to add your contact info?”

Maggie nodded and took Julie’s phone, tapping in her contact info while Reggie looked at her with wide eyes. “I don’t wanna go yet,” he pleaded, looking up at Julie desperately. “Keep talking to her. Please.”

Julie took her phone back from Maggie, desperately searching for something to say when her eye fell on a picture hanging in the middle of the wall. It was very clearly the boys, but they were younger than she knew them—younger than they’d been when they died.

It was just the three of them, with a little girl—who Julie assumed was a young Maggie—sitting in the middle, holding a guitar that was very nearly bigger than her. The three boys were clearly all helping her hold it up, and all four of them were grinning at the camera with wide, happy grins. She’d never seen them smile quite like that.

“Is that them?” She asked, gesturing towards the picture.

Maggie looked over her shoulder at the picture before she turned back to smile at Julie. “Yeah. Yeah, when they were... Fifteen, I think. I was five, so yeah. Fifteen.”

Four years before they’d died.

No wonder they looked so young.

They’d barely been more than kids themselves.

“Can you—would it—would it be okay if you told me a little more about them?” She asked quietly, still staring at the photo of her bandmates when they’d been younger.

She was, actually, so busy staring at the picture that she didn’t notice the puzzled look Maggie shot her before she stepped up beside her to look at the picture. Reggie was too busy glancing at every other picture in the room, trying to catch a glimpse of what his little sister’s life had become, to notice the look too.  “What do you want to know?” Maggie finally asked.

“Just…” Julie hesitated. “Anything. What were they like?”

Maggie smiled wistfully. “They were thick as thieves. I can’t remember a time that Luke and Alex weren’t there, so… I know they’d been friends since kindergarten. Well, Luke and Reggie at least. I think they met Alex later on, but that was before I was born.”

“We met Alex in third grade,” Reggie piped in. “He beat up a bully for me.”

Julie smiled despite herself.  

“They were always singing and making music,” Maggie continued. “Ever since I could remember. And when they formed the band, and Reggie had to babysit me, I’d usually just get to sit and watch them. I never minded.” When Julie looked at her, she saw that tears were running down Maggie’s cheeks again, but she was still smiling a small wistful smile. “I loved watching them practice.”

She suddenly laughed and said, “I had a crush on Alex when I was little. I even asked him to marry me when we were both grown-ups.”

“Awe,” Julie chuckled. “Did he say yes?”

“No,” Maggie smiled, shaking her head lightly. “No, he was really sweet about it though. Told me that he didn’t like girls all that much, but that if he was ever going to like one, it would definitely have been me.” She laughed wetly again and added, offhand, “I caught him and Reggie kissing a little after that, and then my father—” she cut off and shook her head with a sad smile before she whispered, “I definitely had to believe him after all that.”

“What?” Julie blurted, glancing towards Reggie, who looked both flushed and horrified.

“You saw that?” He squeaked, even though he knew his sister couldn’t hear him.

Maggie chuckled. “Yeah, I… it was surprising to me too. I always thought Reggie was a little sweet on Luke, the way they were together, but then…” she shrugged helplessly. “I guess Alex and Reggie spent so much time together that the idea of them makes sense too. It’s one of the things I guess I’ll never really know. I also distinctly remember being devastated to find out that not only did Alex not like girls, he liked my brother instead though.”

“It’s a cute story,” Julie choked, trying her hardest not to turn to Reggie and shout, because how did she not know about this yet?!

“I guess, yeah,” Maggie nodded. “He wrote country songs for me. Luke hated them, but he’d play the ones Reggie wrote for me anyway.”

“He didn’t hate them,” Reggie pouted.

They fell silent, staring at the photo for a minute before the other woman—Maggie’s wife, she assumed—walked into the room, cradling a swaddled baby in her arms. “She won’t settle,” she said, walking up to Maggie with an apologetic smile. “I’m thinking she wants her momma.”

“I’ll leave you to it,” Julie said immediately, although Reggie pouted. “Thank you, for… answering my questions. I know you didn’t have to do that.”

“Thank you,” Maggie said. “For bringing me—just thank you.” She reached out to shake Julie’s hand, pausing in the middle of the handshake with a puzzled expression. “I’m sorry, what did you say your name was again?”

“Julie,” Julie replied. “Julie Molina.”

“Julie,” Maggie repeated. “Thank you, Julie.”

Julie nodded jerkily and smiled before turning and walking out the front door. Reggie followed her, although he could probably have stayed a little longer if he wanted to.

She waited until they were outside before she grabbed Reggie’s jacket and dragged him off into an alley. “What the hell, Reggie? You and Alex? What about Willie? What about Luke?”

Reggie gave her a wide eyed look and sputtered, “Wha—there’s nothing—what about Luke?”

Julie raised an eyebrow at him. “Reggie. You are about as subtle as a brick. I know you’re in love with him.”

“Wha—no–I’m not—” Reggie spluttered, before he heaved a sigh. “Does Luke know?”

“No,” Julie scoffed. “Only ‘cause he’s the only person who’s actually more oblivious than you are.” Reggie blinked at her and she heaved a sigh, letting him go and taking a step back.

“So you and Alex?” She prompted.

Reggie sighed. “It wasn’t… okay, so we didn’t start out as a real serious thing, you know? It was right after Luke and Alex broke up and we kind of just fooled around when we felt like it.” He wrapped his arms around himself and admitted, “We tried dating a few years after we first started fooling around but it didn’t—it didn’t work out.”

He shrugged a little helplessly. “It wasn’t a big deal. I was really happy for him when he met Willie.”

“Wait,” Julie shook her head, “Luke and Alex dated?”

“Oh,” Reggie frowned. “Yeah, for like a year when we were sixteen. It’s how his parents found out he was gay. Or,” he amended, “it’s why he decided to tell them in any case. They decided they were better off friends, but it still took Alex a while to get over it.”

Julie nodded slowly. “There’s so much I don’t know about you guys yet,” she finally said in a small voice.

Reggie presser forward and slung an arm around het shoulders. “That’s ‘cause we’ve known each other for fifteen years, Jules. It’s like we don’t know everything about you and Flynn and Carlos yet.”

He shook her playfully. “Give it some time.”

Julie laughed. “I guess.” They started walking again and she looked up at him, feeling a little apprehensive. “You happy we went to see her?”

“Yeah,” Reggie said slowly. “Definitely. Thanks, Molina.”

Julie grinned and pressed into his side. “No problem.”

This… this she was the least she could do.

-------

Or read it HERE on AO3 :D Find the next chapter HERE on Tumblr :)

[dierwolves]

fezco x reader; old flame #2

notes: so this is part 2, i’m planning on doing this kind of a back story to what we see in euphoria, or more like what we don’t see about fezco. feedback is always cool, so tell me what you think!

part 1 part 3

 fez:

im leaving the party now

you: 

it’s only 4am, tired of hanging out with teenagers already?

 fez:

fuck off

ur at the hospital shoudlnt u be payin attention to ur patients???

 you:

just finished my shift asshole, i’m going home now

 fez:

want me to pick u up?

 you:

don’t worry i’ll ask one of my coworkers to drive me

 fez:

already on my way, see u now

 You walked straight to the hospital cafeteria, where you usually waited 30 minutes until this one nurse could drive you home. You hadn’t been in town for long, but you had already scoped out who has their own vehicle, and had managed to be friendly enough to catch a ride every ride. You didn’t need a car when you lived in the city, the bus or the underground worked just fine. Now you really were in need of a car. That, or Fez could simply become your personal chauffeur.

 fez:

go to the front of the hospital

 You got into his car that you knew so well. It smelled like weed most of the time. It made you reminiscence of the times when you’d drive to parties in his car during high school.

“You didn’t need to.”

“Just say ‘thanks’”.

“Thanks.” You rolled your eyes, but he could see a small smile on your lips, he knew you were thankful. “So, how was the party?”

“You know teenagers. Lots of sex, lots of alcohol and lots of drugs.”

“You know alcohol is drug, don’t you?”

“Yes doctor, I know that.”

“Just saying.”

You laid your head against the window and your eyes started to close. These night shifts were killing you. You had Fez to keep you entertained most nights. He had taken to texting you almost every night. You didn’t know how he managed to stay awake so late and still function like a normal human the next day, but you weren’t complaining.

“You gon’ fall asleep on me?”

“Sorry.” You tried to focus on him to avoid falling asleep again. He looked handsome that night. He always did, but every time you saw him it seemed like he looked even better. “So, did you get any?”

“Interested?” He said in a teasing tone. You liked that smirk, although most times it just made you stutter pathetically.

“As far as I’m concerned, you’re the one who had a crush on me.” You said, and you were pleased to see the blood rushing to his pale cheeks.

“Who told you that?”

“No one. You were pretty obvious.”

He sighed. “Then why didn’t you say anything?”

You shrugged. “You never asked me out either. Maybe I got it wrong, I wasn’t gonna risk it.”

His face turned more serious. “I knew you wouldn’t say ‘yes’. A school drop-out and a girl who was going to one of those Ivy League med-schools? That’s some Hollywood movie shit.”

“So that’s the reason why you didn’t ask me out? Funny, I just thought you didn’t have the balls to ask.” It brought a smile back to his face.

“You ain’t that intimidating, sweetheart.”

“That’s why you still have a hard time looking me in the eye when we talk?”

He chuckled. “Shit, Y/N. Feeling brave tonight? You sure you haven’t had anything to drink?”

You took a deep breath. Having a drink would have been definitely helpful to have this conversation. “You know I had a crush on you too, right? Since ninth grade.” The air in the car was dense. You were close to opening the car the window, needing to feel the wind in your face.

“Well, would’ve been cool to know this back then.”

“I mean...” It was your time to smirk at him. “We’re here now.”

He returned the smirk. “That’s good to know.”

You didn’t speak again while the ride lasted, but his hand had slipped to your thigh, drawing random patterns on your skin, and soon you started to doze off again.

You woke up when the car came to a halt. You looked around the street and then back at Fez. “This isn’t my home.”

“It’s mine. I assumed, given where the conversation was going, you wouldn’t mind.”

You laughed, that bastard. “Guess I don’t.”

You followed him inside the house. You weren’t sure about what to do or where to go, so you just followed him around. He went to a room at the back of the corridor. “That’s my room. Wait in there, I’m gonna check on my grandma, okay?”

You nodded and did as told. His room was kinda messy, but still, pretty comfortable. It was full of personal stuff, things he liked, which made it way cosier. His voice startled.

“Think I have some clothes you can wear. Wait a minute.”

“A t-shirt’s just fine.”

He laughed quietly. “Okay.” He started digging around his wardrobe while you just sat by his bed. “Here”. You grabbed the t-shirt and started stripping off your clothes. His eyes were glued to you. You didn’t turn around. What was the point in hiding? He started stripping at the other side of the bed and god, only if you weren’t so tired.

“Damn, ma. Wasn’t planning on fucking tonight, but I might just change my mind.”

You looked at him. He had tripped down to his boxers. It seemed like he didn’t plan on wearing something else. Thank God.

“Why you didn’t plan on having sex?”

“`Cause the moment your head hits the pillow you gon’ fall asleep.”

You sighed. It was probably true. You got under the blankets. These night shifts were really catching up to you.

“Come here.” He was lying on his back, arm extended toward you. You swiftly put your head on his chest, nuzzling your nose into his neck. He surrounded you with his arm, and left his hand fall on your ass. You gave a little jump, but you didn’t catch his boastful smile.

“This okay?”

You nodded, not trusting your voice. You fell asleep soon after, in the arms of your high school crush, who fell asleep grasping your ass. Hell, this really was some Hollywood movie shit.

[noxiraphale]

I got hit by @call-of-the-ocean with this and I have just enough of an ego to do it.

last song: I’m listening to my Halloween-writing playlist CONSTANTLY, and the last thing to play was Fairy Tale by Abel Korzeniowski. 

last movie: uhhhhhhhhhhh. Maybe the newest Emma??? I’m very particular with the movies I watch so unfortunately I don’t watch many and my home collection of films is very small. OH NO WAIT. I REMEMBER. I last watched The Lighthouse! Ughhhh I might be a bit obsessed with it. I would own that on blu-ray in a heartbeat.

currently watching: Nothing! I just finished binge-watching Haunting of Hill House. I plan to watch Bly Manor too but I need to give my brain a break so I can sleep again lol. I’m a huge scaredy cat and I definitely lost sleep as a result of Hill House.

currently reading: nothing! lots of fanfic, obviously. too many to name here because I am reading them all concurrently. as for non-fanfic, the last book I finished reading is Tamsyn Muir’s Gideon the Ninth. If you like space lesbian necromancers where the title character is a strapping butch woman, you should check it out.

currently craving: I’m usually craving something sweet! I try to eat grapes when that happens. :D I love green grapes!

I’m not gonna tag anyone to do this! So if you decide to do this as the result of reading mine, lmk so I can read it!!!

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Apologies, I must have missed that post! In that case, do you have any recs for queer "dark" fantasy? I like a little bit of blood and chaos and mayhem in my fantasy, but I am also desperate for new queer reading. (Side note, I FINALLY gained proof of residency, so I am ecstatically planning a trip to my local library to get my library card! Hence the need for book recs). Thank you so much!

so many, many, many disclaimers:

haven’t read every (or even most of) the books I’m gonna recommend

I have No Idea what qualifies as dark so I’m just gona toss some titles out

I particularly have no idea what counts as too dark for your taste; please do your own research re: trigger warnings !!

because I haven’t read all of these books myself I can’t actually 100% guarantee that all of them have queer characters but I’m gonna recommend them anyway because 1.) I’ve heard good things and 2.) many of them are by otherwise marginalized authors and I think their work is always worth promoting 

having said that I will put asterisks next to the ones that I know definitely have queer characters 

THE BOOKS, FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION:

Girls Made of Snow and Glass (Melissa Bashardoust)*

Girls of Paper and Fire (Natasha Ngan)*

Her Body and Other Parties (Carmen Maria Machado)* 

(short stories; some are queerer than others but the author is bi so they’re all a little queer)

The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms (N.K. Jemisin)*

tbh all of Jemisin’s novels are fantasy/science fiction and have at least some background levels of queerness. 

Jade City (Fonda Lee)

The Last Sun (K.D. Edwards)* 

Mask of Shadows (Linsey Miller)*

The Merry Spinster (Daniel Mallory Ortberg)* 

(short stories; some are queerer than others but the author is trans so they’re all a little queer) 

The Mirror Empire (Kameron Hurley)*

Ninth House (Leigh Bardugo) 

The Poppy War (R.F. Kuang)

The Priory of the Orange Tree (Samantha Shannon)*

Six of Crows (Leigh Bardugo)* (everyone and their mom has read SoC but if you haven’t, what a great time to check it out lmao) 

The Traitor Baru Cormorant (Seth Dickinson)* 

Vicious (V.E. Schwab)* (I THINK the MC is confirmed as queer later in the series but don’t quote me on that) 

[cancerbiophd]

I was tagged by @medblr-of-a-sleepyhead! Thanks darling!

You can call me: Julia (or Cass if you’ve been following me since the beginning of my fandom days lol)

I’d describe myself as: dog-lover, book-lover, scientist, level-headed, witty (i hope), and kind (i also hope the most)

Fictional character(s) that I identify with or am fond of: ohhhhh man there are so many!? cass cain from dc comics, artemis crock from young justice, sam from danny phantom to name a few

Three random facts about me:

1. I have a weird uncanny ability to always spot dead or dying animals. like i’ll just be walking around and all of a sudden have an urge to look over here, and of course there’s like.. a dead bird or lizard right there. i’m sure there’s some meaning to it but i’m not going to think about it too much. 

2. I’m super allergic to cats. like, if one bites or scratches me i will go into anaphylactic shock. or so my doctor tells me, but i’m not testing that theory. 

3. I put my milk in the microwave for 11 seconds and then i put the cereal in. fight me but i ain’t drinkin no super cold milk that early in the morning oK like the milk isn’t HOT it’s just not 4 freakin degrees celsius 

Something little about my appearance that I kind of like: my hair is fantastic

An outfit that makes me feel powerful: put me in high heels baby and i will feel like i can rule the world

An object that is special to me: i have a necklace i wear almost every day where the pendant is made from the ashes of my dog who passed away suddenly last year. pics of louis here on my main blog if anyone wants a dose of the cutest fluffiest most majestic king ever. 

A compliment (or two, or three) about me that made me feel warm inside: definitely anytime someone thanks for me my advice and tells me how it’s helped them! and also when someone compliments my writing. 

Something I love about myself: i love that i love myself, that i know i’m worth it, and even the parts i don’t love about myself i still accept bc this is me. this is alll me. 

Something I love about someone else: i love my husband’s laugh. it’s the kind that lights up a whole room. 

Something I’d love to buy for someone else: pay off everyone’s student loans. just. poof! 

Something I’d love to buy for myself: a private chef. i love to eat but hate to cook so there you go. 

Three things that make me happy right now:

1. Just started reading ninth house by leigh bardugo! Perfect autumn/halloween read. 

2. Had a compulsive thought to redecorate my office at home and then promptly ordered some new prints from society6, so I guess we’re going through with that one boys!

3. Finally got me some wireless bluetooth headphones and my life has changed! No more headphone wires getting caught on things!! I can actually set my phone down somewhere while in the lab and not have a tether!! omgggg thank u gods of technology

Something I’m looking forward to: gonna go visit my husband’s nephews this weekend in san diego to celebrate the 2nd bday of the older one. i also haven’t seen the younger one yet so time to squish some baybees!

Something I enjoyed recently: binge-reading leigh bardugo’s six of crows and the sequel crooked kingdom (i finished both of them in like.. a week; just couldn’t put them down). HIGHLY recommend if you’re in the mood for a badass fantasy/magic heist involving a rag-tag team of thieves, spies, and no-do-gooders. 

Song(s) stuck in my head recently: “summer days” by martin garrix ft macklemore and patrick stump 

I watched this, maybe you’d like it too: the masked singer. i’m putting all my bets that the fox is wayne brady. 

Something adorable I came across recently: this post of a cute lil shrimp bouncing on a witch’s broomstick 

If you wanted to know me better, you should check out these things: uhhhh i guess my main blog @jncera and all the things i post/reblog there. 

Something I can/will do to take care of myself or make things more positive for me in the coming days: oops i just realized i forgot this one when i posted it ummmm get enough sleep! my insomnia has been back for the past 2 weeks and i realized the trick to banishing it right now is to listen to soothing piano music for like... an hour before bed. 

I’ll tag: @fragileanimal, @nerdgirlnarrates, @cytostorm, @caffeinebooks, @skinny-little-nobody, @astoryofej, @orangeteastudying, @loveadoodle, @rudescience, @lavendermedusa, @quantumheels

[venusxxlangdon]

Dance With the Devil. Part Two — The Great Ball

Summary: Michael gives a ball at his castle, but it’s actually the after party he is looking forward to. Reader just wishes for one thing: to make it out alive. Buckle up, it’s gonna be one hell of a night.

Warnings: dark outpost! Michael, fem!reader, smut, blasphemy, graphic descriptions of hell and demons, language, oral (male receiving), humiliation, degradation, overall violence, blood, darkfic, non-con

Words: 6.4k

A/N: I have no idea how my soft dom Michael ass has come up with it. This is something completely out of my style, but I like the thrill (maybe I am just a local Lars von Trier lmao). Part 3 (the final one) is coming soon!

A freezing breath of the wind brushed off the bare skin of her thighs that were no longer covered with the nightgown. It was shredded into pieces; the delicate silk was left to nothing but dirty rags. She slowly tried to open her eyes, but the painful impulses of a headache shot through her temples made her wince quietly and close them again. The dull pain in her whole body was so intense as if she was run over by a train; someone collected her piece by piece and carelessly glued them together. She felt like a broken doll. Her arms were bent outward in an unnatural way, and she cautiously tried to move her fingers in order to check her reflexes. The tips of her digits brushed against the ground. God, why was it so cold? Where was she?

Ignoring the blinding pain in her head, she forced her eyes open and gasped at the view: an enormous lake was spread out before her. Immense, balky silvery trees grew around it with the canopy of frost above them. She slowly sat up and a broken cry rolled off her tongue — her wounded ankle covered in clotted blood hurt like hell. Having remembered who caused her the injury, she fearfully looked around looking for the weird nasty creatures, but there was no one in sight. She was all alone in this bizarre place, freezing to death. The feeling of frightening horror washed over her in convulsive waves making her tremble violently.

Suddenly she heard a whisper. The girl turned her head and narrowed her eyes, trying to listen carefully, but she couldn’t identify the source of the sound. The wind brought another wave of shiver, she hurried to wrapped her arms around herself and started rubbing her hands up and down her shoulders in an attempt to warm up a bit. Incoherent whispering continued, and she curiously looked at the frozen surface of the lake realizing that the sound was coming from there. Enchanted, she crawled closer, hissing at the intense pain in her muscles. She gasped at the sight of the silhouettes of figures trapped under the surface. They were beating their heads against the thick layer of ice trying to break free. Their faces were grimaced in agony, but all she could hear was an audible whisper. She reached up her hand, and right when she was about to touch the surface of the lake, an unknown deep voice interrupted her:

“If I were you I wouldn’t do that”

She quickly pulled her hand back and lifted her gaze up at the man standing several feet away from her. He was tall, dressed in a green velvet jacket, a white dress shirt with a thick silk ribbon wrapped around his neck and tied in a lush bow, and jacquard slacks. She caught the sight of a big emerald brooch pinned under the collar. He looked posh. The smooth locks of his hair were coming down his shoulders in loose waves.

“Who are you?” she mumbled hoarsely and scrunched up at the sharp pain in her throat.

The man was shamelessly staring at her, and she felt uncomfortable under his heavy gaze that traveled down her half-naked body. His eyes were like fire in water: the lake behind him hued them in the implacable shade of grey. The devilish twinkles sparked in his pupils when she tried to cover her breasts.

“I am the keeper of this land”, he said in a singsong tone and spread out his hands showing off the endless parts of the Ninth circles spawned for many miles away from them.

She didn’t understand anything. A new panic attack started creeping up inside her, and she hugged herself tighter as if it would help her to stay grounded. Her chin started trembling, and she tried to blink off the salty tears welled up in her eyes.

“What is this place?” she sobbed and pulled her knees against her chest, covering her freezing feet with her palms. Her toes started turning blue, and she secretly hoped the man in front of her could help her, but his overall aura was so threatening that she wished he didn’t hurt her, to say the least.

Michael was watching her with a disgusted look on his face. The second question in a row and he was already annoyed. He couldn’t believe that it was someone Purson desired so much he had crawled into his house like a beaten dog and offered the deal. No way someone so mediocre could possess the soul that literally burned his hand when he had first touched it. The girl looked miserable and totally out of the place. He scoffed at her question thinking that the stupid bitch was going to get on his nerves with her useless rumbling and pathetic pleas. And the worst thing was the fact that he couldn’t kill her since he needed her for a greater purpose.

“Hell,” he said and with a sadistic satisfaction enjoyed the girl’s reaction to his response. She gasped and hurriedly looked around as if after Michael’s words all the demons of the underworld would craw out of the icy borrows. They would have if Michael hadn’t ordered everyone to stay in the castle and wait for his arrival. Besides, if he hadn’t come to pick the girl from the lake by himself she would have already been ravished by the demons. Sexually and spiritually. “Thank your grandmother”

At the name of her precious granny, the girl shivered and gave Michael a sidelong glance.

“What...wait, how do you know my grandma?” she tried to crawl away when Michael took a step forward with a furious look on his face. He rolled his eyes and squatted in front of her bringing his face so close to hers, that she felt his hot breath across her cheek. His long fingers grabbed her by the chin and she shivered at the cool of his chunky rings.

“Let me introduce you to the first rule: asking stupid questions leads to the consequences, so you better keep your mouth shut if you don’t want me to seal it” his thumb slid across her bottom lip and the girl froze in fear. The tears burst forth like the water from a damn, spilling down her face. She squeezed her eyes tightly fitting them back, but she felt the muscles of her chin, Michael was still keeping a steel grip of, started trembling again like a small child and let out an ugly sob.

"God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble… she started reciting the words in her head without looking at Michael. He could read her thoughts, and as the girl started praying, his face distorted in a presumptuous grin. His hysterical laughter ringed in the air mixing with the whispers of the suffering souls in the lake.

“Rule number two: no need for prayers, sweetheart” he stood up and adjusted his jacket, brushing imaginary dust off the lapels. “Your God is too far from here”

He ran the tip of his tongue along his bottom lip and tilted his head as he watched the girl curl up on the ice. She was freezing, and he could sense the blood in her veins started to pump slower.

“I have to admit that I am very disappointed how you treated my gift and my servants” she looked up at him and the thought that maybe she must have needed to pray for a peaceful death crossed her mind.

“What gift?” she mouthed, her voice barely above the whisper.

“You are oblivious indeed” Michael noted mockingly and touched her wounded ankle with his leather shoe, indifferently examining it. “The blueberry pie you didn’t seem to enjoy was my way to convey to you the sentiments of respect”

Every word was poisoned with travesty.

“And my subjects? They came to invite you to my ball, and how did you treat them? Hitting guests with a lamp is not a proper way to welcome them, darling” he giggled in a child-like manner.

She didn’t even have to reply. Michael was definitely enjoying himself and feeding off the view of the girl helplessly laying before him. Suddenly a loud raucous roar busted out in the grey sky.

Michael lifted his head and grinned at the sight of Astraroth, a great duke in the shape of a foul angel, sitting upon an infernal dragon. The demon was on his way to Michael’s castle, and, if Langdon remembered correctly, the duke was the last one from the guest list, which meant that he and the girl needed to hurry up.

He scooped her up from the ground ignoring her whimpers and pressed her weak body against his broad chest. Her arms hanged loosely around his torso, as she refused to hold on to him.

“Don’t you dare ruin my jacket,” he told her.

She felt dizzy and as if she was about to throw up when unexpectedly she was lifted off the ground and pure darkness warped around her like a thick blanket. The only things she could feel was the lean body of the man pressed against her. The muscles were still hurting her and she bit her bottom lip roughly in order to suppress the deep cry. Nothing made sense to her: who exactly the man was, why he took her, what he wanted from her, and how her grandmother was connected to all of these. If she really was in hell, could the man be....could it be Satan? Was there any chance for her to make it out alive?

xxx

She didn’t expect him to release her in a couple of minutes, and when she felt solid ground under her feet, she stumbled and fell down, twisting the injured ankle. She cried out and shot a resentful glare at Michael. But he didn’t really care, as he turned around without looking at her and made his way into a spacious room. It looked like a living room and a bedroom combined: with a king-sized bed in the center of it and a huge fireplace installed in the opposite wall. The head of a creature she had never seen before in her life was hanging right above it. She shivered at the thought of how this thing got found in possession of the man.

“What can I call you?” she dared to ask, addressing Michael’s back. He went across the room towards a wooden wardrobe, opened it and looked at the numerous pieces of fine clothes. Fashion was probably the only thing he missed the most of all things of Earth. Nobody in hell cared to wear at least something to cover themselves up thus couldn’t appreciate Michael’s outfits.

“My name is Michael Langdon” he answered, “but you must address me Master or Sir”

The stern tone of his voice he spoke with made her believe that it was useless to argue. She closed her eyes tiredly and slid down the wall not being able to stand on her feet anymore.

“Are you going to tell me why I am here?” she absentmindedly stared at the fireplace. The blue flames sparkled, sending the showers of white and blue onto a thick carpet but never radiating any sort of warmth. She was still cold.

Michael hummed and continued skimming through his closet looking for one particular piece his servants should have left for her. There it was. With a triumphant smirk on his face, he took a long red dress out of the wardrobe and carefully hanged it on the opened door.

“I’m going to explain it to you once, and you will shut up until I address you with a question, am I being clear?” he asked, and waited for her to give him a hesitant nod.

But instead of giving her the explanation Michael spit out:

“Now take off these rags” he pointed at her distorted nightgown. She looked at him in disbelief. What? Instinctively she crossed her arms protecting the remains of her dignity.

Michael rolled his eyes

“You better not make me repeat twice.” He could use his powers to undress her, but it would have been too easy. He enjoyed the scarlet blush on her pale cheeks and the way she bit her dry lips, as she looked down shamefully and with shaking fingers started sliding the straps of her nightgown off her shoulders. Her back was pressing against the wall so hard as if she was going to dissolve into it.

“As for your concern”, he paused and flicked his wrist discarding the fabric off her body because he quickly got annoyed with her slow pace. The girl didn’t expect that and a surprised “ah” slipped off her parted lips.

She curled up in the corner feeling so small and miserable. “You are here because your grandmother made a deal with my Father, but didn’t keep the promise. She framed you without even realizing it. She was more interested in saving her own ass than the prosperity of her family”, the corners of his mouth twitched in a humiliating smirk.

The girl couldn’t believe her ears. She wanted him to shut up and stop slandering her family. He was dishonoring the woman who had always been the closest relative to her. No way she was going to believe him.

“Yes, darling” Michael continued pushing her buttons, “who knew she’d turned out to be just one thirsty bitch....”

She covered her ears with her palms not being able to hear it anymore and howled in despair. An inhuman cry was drowned out form her throat and bounced off the walls of the room. The mental pain was insufferable, she dug her nails into her shoulders hoping to tear off the skin and let the feeling of shame and helplessness drown in physical suffering.

Michael closed his eyes and hummed happily enjoying the sound of her whimpers. He snapped his fingers calling over one of the creatures hiding under his bed. It appeared with a big box in its hands. The girl noticed the demon and sniveled quietly, covering her mouth to silence the scream.

“Now let’s get back to business” no matter how bad Michael wanted to continue his torture, there were things he needed to care of. The guests, for example, that were already waiting for him in the Great Hall. “Get dressed”, he took the dress off the wardrobe door and threw it at the girl. Red silk fabric covered her body like a river of blood. “And don’t forget the shoes”.

He opened the box and took out a pair of silver pumps with blackthorn straps that were supposed to go around the girl’s ankles.

She didn’t remember how she put the dress on and moreover didn’t understand what for. Everything seemed surreal. Maybe he compelled her to do it, or maybe she was so shocked that did it herself automatically. All she knew was that she found herself standing in front of the big wooden door decorated with live cobras. Nonstop crying got her feeling dazed, but in a way, she stopped being aware of her surroundings. All her feelings were reduced to the sensations: the inability to breathe properly because the dress was too tight, the unbearable headache, the crushing pain just on one side of her head that came and went in a pattern; the feeling of the thorns hurting her ankles and making them bleed out, the smell of Sulphur behind the door.

Michael took her hand in his, and with a flick of his wrist, the door opened.

“What’s that, sweetheart?” he purred in her ears when she whined after taking the first step and a shot of burning pain went down her spine. She gritted her teeth but didn’t say anything.

The Great Hall looked different this time. It was transformed into a ballroom with columns propping up the ceiling. The walls were decorated with hundreds of dead roses that were weaving the surface like spider webs. Between the walls, fountains of blood spurted up, hissing and bubbling, with large snakes wrapped around them. Making her way to the center of the room with Michael by her side, she couldn’t take her eyes off the guests. Her heart was about to beat out of her chest from a terrifying horror that rushed through her. There were headless creatures, the ones with horns, half-humans, and half-animals, and all of them reeked with a stench. When they saw her and Michael the Great Hall exploded with applause and whistling.

Michael bowed to the lords, waved at the dukes, and gave condescending nods do the demons of the lowest rank. Tonight he was feeling generous because it was his moment to shine.

“Good evening, my dear friends!” he proclaimed taking his place on the platform before the throne. Purson was there too. He was standing not far from Michael keeping his eyes on the girl. She shivered and immediately looked away biting her trembling lips. Her face was red and puffy. “It’s my honor to welcome you all here, in the Great Hall. Tonight you will witness the greatest event in the history of the Ninth Circle as this young innocent soul”, he pointed at the girl and all eyes got focused on her, “will pay her ancestor’s debt.”

Tiny creatures were serving drinks caring them on their backs. The liquid was red, but she didn’t know whether it was blood or wine.

“But before I trap her under the ice of Cocytus, let’s enjoy ourselves and dance this night away. And make sure” his eyes sparkled mischievously, “that our guest remembers it forever.”

It was a long night for her. Michael took particular joy in making her dance with the nastiest creatures of Hell. Her face turned white with fear when they put their hands on her waist and started twirling her around at inhuman pace making her head spin. They were whispering insults in her ear, calling her names and threatening her with all the things they were planning to do to her once they found her in the lake. She looked at Michael with pleading eyes hoping that he would stop this torture, but all he did was a smirk and ask another demon to join them on the dance floor.

“Please...” she mouthed at him with her eyes full of tears. Michael raised his glass as if he was drinking in her honor. He smiled baring his perfect teeth now covered with blood.

“Enjoying the evening, My Lord?” Purson wondered, approaching Michael who was sitting on his throne and watching everyone like a hawk. No matter how hard the demon had been trying to tame his mane it still looked messy. Despite the fact he was addressing Michael, his yellow eyes were glued to the girl who was on the verge of fainting by that time. Her legs were covered in blood, and she almost slipped when Furfur who was dancing with her pushed her too hard.

“Absolutely”, Michael cooed taking another sip of his drink, “but I’m looking forward to the after party” he grinned devilishly.

Purson suspiciously narrowed his eyes.

“Pardon me, My Lord. I’m afraid I don’t quite understand you.”

Of course it didn’t go unnoticed from Michael how desperately Purson wanted his prey, so he started thinking how he could play on the demon’s nerves for the sake of the revenge for all this time Purson had been humiliating him.

“Well, I think it would be an omission if I missed the opportunity to have some fun with our lady” he tapped his chin with the tips of his fingers as if he was deeply concerned with this idea.

Purson’s eyes flashed with anger. He knew Langdon would do something like that.

“We didn’t agree to that” he clenched the glass in his claws so hard, it nearly got crashed.

“And it wasn’t prohibited either”, noted Michael. He remembered the details of the deal perfectly clear. “I’ve brought the girl and by the end of the night, she’ll be trapped in the lake, see? I’m doing my part”, he winked at the demon. Purson growled, crashing the wineglass with his bare hands, but none of the muscles on Michael’s face twisted. “Now, have you told my Father?”

Two could play this game.

“I have, but he didn’t seem impressed” Purson sneered. Michael pressed his lips in a tight line. “Our Highness doubts your ability to do anything besides whipping your pathetic servants for minor disobedience”.

Michael smirked. There was no guarantee that the demon wasn’t lying, but he couldn’t hide the fact that he had informed Satan about Michael’s plans. That fact alone was enough for Langdon to feel satisfied.

“Good”, he placed his empty glass on the back of the creature that stopped by and turned his gaze back at Purson, “if you excuse me, I’ll join our guest on the dance floor”. He stood up, adjusted his jacket and flipped his hair ignoring Purson’s threatening glare.

“Don’t you dare do anything to her soul” he wrapped his claws around Michael’s wrist pulling him close.

“Get your hands off me, or I’ll demolish you right now without any second thought about our deal” Michael spat in his face.

Purson had to let him go, otherwise, everyone would have started staring. He kicked one of the servants angrily, watching Michael’s back disappear in the crowd of demons.

The girl felt numb as if someone turned off her feelings leaving only absolute emptiness inside of her. She stopped recognizing faces if one could use this term to describe horrible grimaces of the creatures that surrounded her, and she couldn’t feel her legs anymore from dancing. Her ribcage must have turned blue from how tight the corset of her dress was — she was on the verge of being suffocated all this time, and no matter how hard she tried to adjust it, she couldn’t loosen it. She gasped when Michael wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her against his chest.

“Seems like you are not enjoying the night” he pouted mockingly. He paused for a second to snap his fingers. The sound of a classic melody filled in the Great Hall. She did not believe her ears because it was the music for Waltz, one of the softest and the most delicate dances, which seemed totally out of this place. Michael was a sick psychopath, she thought to herself.

He placed one hand on her waist, took her other hand in his, and made the first step forward. The “rise and fall” technique gave her the feeling of elevation, as the two of them moved onto the toes and then relaxed through the knees and ankles, ending on flat feet. It would have looked mesmerizing if it hadn’t been for the grimace of pure agony on the girl’s face, as they were gliding around the floor. She felt nauseous and clang to the sleeves of Michael’s emerald jacket for some leverage. And it wasn’t because of his smell, in fact, he smelled wonderful: a mix of bergamot and labdanum; she just couldn’t bear the overall feeling of tiredness and exhaustion.

His grey eyes were watching her closely as if he was trying to see her soul as if he was looking for something in her subconscious. He twirled her around and bend her over in his hands, putting her pale breast squeezed in the tight corset on full display. He watched Purson turn red with jealousy and for the sake of pissing him off, brushed his lips against the girl’s neck. She gasped, and when he pulled her back, a self-satisfied smirk was painted across his face.

“Please, I can’t take it anymore” she whispered, her head rolled into the crook of his neck.

He chuckled and brought her face up with his fingers.

“Oh darling, you will take more than this tonight”

Every move he made was gracious, it seemed like Michael’s feet weren’t even touching the floor. He was holding the girl so tight, his fingers must have left blueprints through the fabric of her dress. She whimpered when his knuckles brushed against her ribs.

“Sir, it hurts” she whispered brokenly barely moving her feet. Michael was almost dragging her around the dance floor. He twirled her around, and she stumbled, twisting her ankle. Her hands slipped off his shoulders, as she bend over to wrap her fingers around the aching ankles. Her shoulders were shaking with uncontrollable cry.

“Stop that and stand up” he ordered annoyingly, the music was still playing. The girl sobbed in response. She sighed and took his hand.

But as they resumed dancing everything around her started spinning. The ground vanished beneath her feet, and she shut her eyes tightly clinging to Michael’s torso with all her might.

“You are pathetic” his low voice brought her back from her dazed state a moment later. She opened her eyes and to her surprise found herself back in Michael’s suite. She let go of her grip and stepped backward.

“Why are doing this to me?” she wiped off the tears smearing them with sweat and blood across her face. She bowed her head and slowly sank to her knees before Michael. “Please, just kill me, please, sir, I can’t take it anymore”. She repeated the same words once again.

He was watching her with a smirk ghosting across his full lips. He took a step forward to the girl and slowly put his hand on her head, petting her like a dog. Almost lovingly.

“Why would you want such a silly thing?” He cooed twisting messy strands of her hair with his fingers. She was looking down at her hands rested on her thighs. As he spoke, the green snake crawled out under the bed. The girl’s eyes widened, but when she wanted to pull away, Michael held her in place. She gulped heavily and looked up at him. His eyes were on her, examining her swollen face conceitedly.

“I remember you were complaining about your dress,” he said tasting every word on the tip of his tongue. She nodded hesitantly “Well, take it off then”

The girl froze. She couldn’t take her eyes off of the snake that made its way to the fireplace. The scaly skin of it blinked in the blue light. Suddenly Michael’s palm met the skin of her cheek giving her one harsh slap.

“Are you deaf?” He hissed and wrapped his fingers around her neck bringing her up from the kneeling position, so her face was on the same level with his. She gasped for air covering his hands with her palms in attempt to loosen his grip.

Holding her like that, Michael snaked his hand behind her back and untied her corset in one swift motion. The red fabric pooled at her feet, leaving her naked before him. She tried to say something, but her protest remained inaudible. Her bear breasts were purple indeed. She looked like she had been beaten for hours in the most brutal way: lilac bruises bloomed across her ribcage and stomach like irises. The cool of Michael’s rings against the sensitive skin made her whimper from his touch. He moved his hand from her throat down to her waist.

“Please, don’t...” she knew that her pleas wouldn’t stop him, but kept begging him for mercy anyway.

Another harsh slap. Her hands flew to her face trying to sooth the tingling sensation.

“Rule number two” he reminded her. Michael grabbed her by the hair and she winced painfully at the hard tug.

“You know what’s the most pathetic thing about human nature?” he asked, his lips were inches away from her ear, and as he spoke he slowly started numbing on her earlobe. Large palms covered her breast and squeezed tightly drawing another sob from her throat. His fingers flickered the pink nipple and pulled hard. “It’s the overall weakness” he continued whispering. The tip of his tongue licked a wet stripe from her ear to the pulsing point on her neck. “Your body is going to react to me”

She couldn’t move. Too terrified, too scared to make him even angrier. She felt him moving his knee up to her crotch and slowly pushing it against her core.

“You are one filthy bitch” every word was dripping with poison. Her lips found hers in a furious kiss, it was all teeth and tongues, him exploring her mouth. As she refused to kiss him back, Michael growled and bit on her bottom lips, painfully pulling it between his teeth until he could sense a copper taste of blood. He yanked her head, exposing her neck and moved his lips there, leaving purple bruises on the tender skin. He was biting and licking at the same time, ravishing her into a whimpering mess. His fingers found their way to her folds and spread them in order to check whether she was wet or not. Michael’s eyes darkened, as the tips of his fingers brushed against the dry heat. The girl wasn’t moving, her arms were hanging loosely on the sides of her body, her head was bowed lowly as if she had given up. But he wasn’t going to fuck a corpse. She needed to react.

“On your knees” he commanded. “Now”

The girl obliged and obediently sank down on her knees, the thick carpet painfully rubbed against her skin. She heard the sound of Michael unbuckling his belt. Adrenaline flooded her system. The heart in her chest started pumping blood so fast like it was about to explode. Every cell of her body wanted to either run fast for the safety or fight until the last breath, but in reality, she remained where she was. On her knees before Michael Langdon. She felt the touch of his fingers under her chin.

“Open your mouth,” he said, his voice low and intimidating. She looked up and a slow mewl rolled off her lips at the sight of his cock in from of her face: long and thick, with bright pink head glistening with arousal. His grey eyes turned coal black, as he wrapped his fingers around his shaft and brought it closer to her parted lips. She held her breath when he slid the tip of it along her bottom lip, smearing the drops of precum. In one quick movement of his hips, he thrust deep in her mouth without any warning, making her choke on his length. She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to pull away, but he was holding her tight, forcing her to relax her throat and take all of him.

He hummed contentedly when the tip of his cock hit the back of her throat and her nose brushed against his pubic bone. Salvia was dripping down her chin to her breasts, as Michael’s cock went in and out of her mouth with wet, sloppy sound. His hands grabbed a fistful of her hair and wrapped it around his palm, tagging forcefully.

“Look at you” he purred, pulling out his throbbing shaft. “Pathetic”, he slapped her cheek with the head of his cock dragging it higher to her cheekbone, “useless”, another slap, “whore”. Her swollen lips were scarlet red from Michael’s ruthless attitude, cheeks stained with tears were now glistening with the traces of his precum. He enjoined the control he had over her, using her mouth to his pleasure while Purson could only dream about it. Michael closed his eyes doing a particularly deep thrust and then holding the girl’s head in place to prolong the pressure on her throat. She was nearly suffocating. When he finally released her from his grip, she was panting heavily.

Michael’s tongue ran across his bottom lip:

“Get on the bed. Ass up”

She wasn’t able to stand up. The carpet literally burned the skin of her knees that were now bright red and soar. Her legs were still bleeding from the heels Michael didn’t let her take off, so she started crawling on her knees towards the bed whining under the breath with every move.

Somehow, she managed to get onto the mattress, immediately soaking the sheets with her blood. She buried her face into the pillow and let out a loud scream that was muffled by the thick jacquard pillowcase. Michael’s smell from the bedding filled in her nostrils.

Meanwhile, he discarded his slacks, jacket and dress shirt and turned to the snake that was peacefully laying on the floor beneath him. He whispered something to her only two of them could understand and it made its familiar way up to his thigh, but this time instead of settling on his shoulders, it wrapped itself around his wrist like a bracelet.

The girl heard the mattress creak under his weight and shifted uncomfortably. She felt exposed being on all fourth with her ass up in the air for him. He hummed approvingly at the sight and gave her a hard slap.

“Much better” he grabbed her hands and crossed them behind her back. She lifted her head form the pillow and fearfully looked back when she felt the snake being wrapped around her bruised wrists. “Don’t worry” he answered her silent question. “It’s harmless if you don’t move. However, if you are unable to keep still, it will bite you and you will die in a very ugly way” he laughed and mockingly petted the girl’s cheek.

He moved down to her abused legs and carefully touched the straps of her pumps. It had been so long since she had put them on, that the spikes went deep under her skin and it was impossible to remove them without causing an agonizing pain to the girl. Her blood-curdling scream could be heard in the farthest corners of the castle, as Michael ripped the blackthorns out.

“Oh, c’mon, it’s not that bad” he scoffed rolling his eyes. She howled, and the snake around her wrists tightened as if it was about to attack.

Michael’s hands traveled from the small of the back up to her spine until the settled at the nape of her neck and squeezed brutally. She felt the tip of his cock brushing between her ass cheeks and tried to pull away, but it was impossible. He ran the head along her folds and simultaneously pressed the tips of his fingers against her clit.

“See?” he laughed when he felt silk wetness spread out between the pink, puffy lips. “I told you that your body would surrender.” She cried out in disbelief. She didn’t want that, she felt used and humiliated, broken mentally and physically, yet her body betrayed her and responded to the slightest attention to the most intimate part of it. She shook her head, and if it hadn’t been Michael’s hands on her neck she would have hidden it shamefully under the pillow. Good Lord.

He fucked the living shit out of her. She gripped onto the sheets so tightly, her knuckles turned white. Michael’s cock was reaching the deepest spots inside her, and at some moment she thought that he could have ripped her apart. He growled when she accidentally squeezed him and sped up the pace.

With every thrust he expressed his anger and devastation: he was mad at her for being a human being; for belonging to the race of those who had used and betrayed him when he was on Earth; he hated her for appearing at the wrong place and at the wrong hour; he wished he hadn’t had to do all of this in order to win his father’s condescension and prove everyone in hell that he was worth reigning them. His black eyes sparkled with fury when he remembered the sensation of the girl’s soul when it first touched him: it reminded him of the light and love he felt towards Ms. Mead, his only ally on Earth, the woman whom he considered his mother. The same woman who didn’t care about him, but his Antichrist mission. After he got “trapped” in his castle he had a lot of time to reflect on his experience in the human world, analyze his mistakes, and learn the true nature of everyone he met along. It could have been anyone in his place. It didn’t make any difference to her.

Because all people, if given the right pressures or stimulus, are evil mortherfuckers.

He hated the girl under him with all his guts, and he wanted her to suffer not only for her grandmother’s debt but for the sufferings he had to go through because he found all his affronters in her.

He continued thrusting into her mercilessly. The obscene sound of his balls slapping against her bare ass echoed in the room. He was close to his release, but his anger only intensified. Michael groaned and pulled out in order to push right back in making the girl scream so loud, he had to press her face into the mattress. Her pleasure was the last thing that mattered to him.

She felt his cock pulsing deep inside and moaned brokenly when the hot load spilled inside her, creaming the walls of her throbbing core in white stripes. She felt defeated and totally broken down. It seemed like there were no tears left to cry — the only thing she could do was to whimper quietly, as he pulled out and his cum leaked out of her entrance, staining her trembling thighs.

Suddenly a loud knock on the door interrupted the silence. Michael frowned, and leaving the girl in her embarrassing position, jumped off the bed to pick up his robe from the armchair and open the door.

The intruder turned out to be Furfur. Michael was about to shout at him, but the look on the demon’s face was dreadful.

“My Lord”, he murmured worryingly, “Our Highness”, he cleared his throat, “Your Father is here”

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