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ghostykapi · 3 months ago

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three against me (the trio's love)

misamo & fem!reader // college au

thank you for @cry4mina for the misamo pictures and for being delulu with me about misamo <3 MISAMOOO

when you said you wanted your college life to be eventful

you didn't expect the universe throwing you three girlfriends, each with their own side of how they got you locked with them

it starts during the first semester of your 3rd year, when you were in a small cafe, getting to a headstart in your pile of homework

it's perfect, a iced coffee by your side, three readings beside you, your laptop on the coffee table in front of you and phone silenced, muting whatever the onslaught of messages nayeon is sending that you can't even be bothered to check

you needed this, you couldn't handled anymore 'dubchaeng babysitting!' when the duo would just make your head hurt with the amount of crazy ideas they had. the change of pace for the day is much welcome, especially knowing that jeongyeon took over with the lure of seeing a band a cafe next university over

it's nice, you can feel like you are in control for even just for a bit

then the cafe's noise dies down when the door chimes

it's too silent

fuck.

you brace yourself at the trio, who’s presence can make the entire student populous go on their knees. the mere whisper of their little group brings the entire college either trembling

misamo.

you can feel her gaze land on you, despite the only indication that it is one of them without looking is the whispers within the cafe. even the baristas know them

hirai momo. softball player, the star athlete that brings medals and more recognition to your university. average grades, stellar performance when she steps on the field and can land a nasty punch

with each step you hear her take, the more you have to remind yourself not to look. you can hear her giggles and the way your heartbeat is now in your ears

minatozaki sana. influencer and model, the unspoken leader of their group. through her bubbly and charming personality, she uses her wit to become the face of the university. part of the top 10% of the whole university, the inspiration to study hard and diligently

you feel a hand on your shoulder, the firm grasp rendering you unable to move, yet it's how you know who it is. she hums in delight at your sharp intake of breath, knowing that you don't need anything else to tell her apart

myoui mina. rising entrepreneur of 3 different business ventures, the deadliest one from the trio. always calculating, always 10 steps ahead of her peers and competitors. sweet, kind, and demur, she brings class to whatever she does

that includes sitting beside you, her bag gently landing on the table, your proximity leaves the others questioning your relationship, but all you know is that you must have done something at your shared class with her yesterday for her too approach you

"i hope you don't mind" she starts, eyes confident and you want to scream and cry because she's wearing a suit. typically worn when she's fresh from visiting one of her businesses. "i heard you were well versed in code"

"programming is my major yes" you keep your voice leveled, after all, being a woman in such a male dominated course has made you what your flock of admirers say, freezingly cold.

"i have a proposition for you" mina starts, keeping a dangerous game of who can keep the eye contact going "you help me with homeworks and projects while i give you money per assessment made"

while mina has a fair share of students that matched her energy, something in your gaze makes her crack a bit

"what makes you think i'll say yes?"

"you can't say no to me"

"yes i can. here watch i'll say it"

and mina can't deny it when she feels her heart start to race when you get closer to her. faces barely a few inches apart

"i don't do things for money. so no"

and you pull back, ready to put back to attention to your homework when mina speaks up

"every time you have to help me i'll pay you in food"

oh goodness free food

"ok i'm in" you hum, hands typing away on your laptop "we start in two days, send me an address and i'll met you there myoui. now shoo, i have to catch up to my work"

she stares at you with a blank gaze, but inside she's dumbfounded at your boldness

nevertheless, she stands up to leave you be, but before she's out of earshot, she says something you don't quite catch

"what?" you ask

"you should call me mina. myoui is too professional even for my taste dear"

three days later, it's momo who bugs you after your morning class

she slips up right beside you, the lack of dress code in the university gives momo a chance to wear a body hugging pink dress, something that makes everyone go crazy. what you don't like is how every guy is looking at her in ways you want to pluck their eyes out

filthy bastards don't deserve to gaze at her at all

"momo" your ears are red because everyone can clearly see you both in the halls, her arm around your waist as you slowly walk to the next building for your next class "what are you doing?"

"accompanying you to class" momo won't admit it, but ever since mina said you were, in her words, 'pretty and sufficient', she had to see you

"why?" you ask, glaring at every man who's looking at her too creepily, making them scurry away

"just because, plus our classrooms are right beside each other" she relaxes more with each less man in the hall, you notice it

"fine" you huff, and before she can even say anything else, you remove your jacket, giving it to her "wear this for today, i don't want any man to look at you. you're too gorgeous for them"

the rest of the walk is silent on the way to both of your classrooms. only thing you can hear is the squeak of every sneaker from each man running way and the whispers in between students

it's the most peaceful walk momo has had since becoming star athlete

so when you wave at her from the door before disappearing to go to the classroom beside her's, she feels like she can breath without panicking

she hates taking anything math related, but she might bare it more when she knows your beside her classroom

she's hooked

later that afternoon, while you lounge around the student council office sipping a red bull, someone barges in, scaring your team who's having a heated debate on who should the rest of the papers

"fucking jesus who the fuck-" ryujin is silenced from who she sees at the door

minatozaki sana, the ever persistent and one of the most notable member under the team of the president.

"someone sent you flowers?"

not a question you were expecting, even your team is gawking at her

dressed to perfection, you can't catch her in a regular outfit at any point, which is kind of ridiculous. sana doesn't care, always styled like she's going to a fashion week in europe. today she's wearing that white dress that she just wore in her feature in some magazine

what is it with the trio and wearing designer clothing every time they are at university grounds? specifically when they are within your eyesight

"pardon?" you know the amount of admires that still try despite cold rejection, even hailing from different courses. hell you think someone from the university over sent you chocolates once, you gave it to your team though

"did you accept some stupid boy's flowers?" sana repeats, anger in her eyes, an emotion she barely shows, and possessiveness in her body language, something you see glimpses of when someone gets close to mina and momo that she doesn't approve of

"minatozaki you know i don't do that" you say calmly, your team in awe at how you keep a calm attitude "if the suitor doesn't have the guts to face me, then they do not deserve my limited time"

"then you'll entertain if i do right?"

you can hear felix and lily choke over their pizza behind you

"you are not serious" you look at her like she's crazy (she loves being called that, you learn from mina later on)

she gets closer to you, faces barely an inch apart, any slip up from her leaning way to closer over your table and she can just kiss you

"try me, i'll see you at tomorrow's meeting miss vice-president"

when she leaves the office, it takes you and your team a total of 5 minutes to recover

"jesus what the fuck was that"

"ryujin shut up, go back to bickering with lia"

no one has ever said no to the trio

maybe a few people had

they're just not as pretty, charming and confident as you

maybe that's why mina keeps sitting beside you during your shared programming class even oustide 'tutor' hours, why momo's insistent at being beside you in between periods to carry your items on days your classes line up, and why sana shows up in every weekly meeting with an expensive gift or a trinket, challenging each suitor head on.

women like them are gonna be the death of you

"you have some crazy women that like you" jihyo jests beside you, giggling at how sana is glaring daggers at how close you both are. you both are now taking a break along with the rest of the internal team to finalize some papers

"yeah well" you don't like to admit it, but ever since their persistence to always either be near you, you have been starting to crack bit by bit "can't really escape them y'know"

"i think you would look cute with them" jihyo hums, swinging her pen between her fingers, making someone across the table keep her stare at the president "misamo and their girlfriend who sucks ass at karaoke"

"ok that was one time" you huff, jihyo's snickering makes sana look up from her phone, jaw tensing up at how close jihyo is "clearly i let you win because you liked it when tzuyu said she's treat you out if you win right?"

that shuts her up. the said tall woman is at the other side of the room, watching the president's face get red, wondering what you just said to make her like this

"get back to work" jihyo then shoos you away, your laughter making jihyo flip you off before returning to work for herself

before you cam even return to work, your eyes meet sana's, her expression unreadable. you wonder what she's thinking of

you look away, a light blush on your cheeks from her intense stare, busying yourself once more with the papers

to sana, witnessing your smile and laughter rewires her brain, heart pleading with her to speed up whatever this stage the three of them are in. each day that passes drives the three of them crazy

mina is messing up in her calculations, momo is missing her shots and sana is losing her composure on the daily

she needs you. they need you.

when sana heads home that night she keeps thinking about you. even when she lets her girlfriends debate what their late night dinner should be (mina wants tacos, momo is craving for some pasta). she blurts out in the middle of it

"do you think y/n would say yes if we offered her sushi as a late night dinner?"

the two stop at their bickering to look at sana, who's eyes are begging for the next move. she's getting itchy and desperate to make it

"satang" mina reaches out to her, letting sana wrap her arms around her waist as momo hugs them both "did something happen?"

"it's just" sana doesn't even try to hide it at this point, knowing that the three of them are nearing their breaking point "i saw her laugh today and it really made me think that 'i want to make her laugh with us' and i-i don't know but it has been driving me mad"

mina hums in understanding and momo speaks up, ready to take that push

"then let's go"

staying late even after meetings is normal for you to catch up with the papers, but for the past few days, you have been staying late in the office to busy your thoughts

mina hasn't been looking at you in the eye or been acknowledging you

momo hasn't been accompanying you to class

sana hasn't shown up to a single meeting this past two weeks

trying to silence your head, you decided to throw yourself into your extra curriculars every night. this night, you are working alone, the only sounds that you can hear are your aggressive typing on your poor keyboard, the music coming from your small speaker and the voices in your head making your heart ache

and now a knock and the door swinging open

"if you have any concerns please drop them by our social media accounts, email, or even the drop box by the-"

you stop your next words when you look up

mina.

you want to curse at the woman, for deliberately avoiding you. it was worse with her, because at least with the two you didn't have the urge to scream because they simply did not show up.

momo.

even clad in that handsome suit, she's still wearing that jacket you handed over to her. devastatingly handsome and gorgeous, you wonder why did she have to leave you wondering in the noisy university halls

sana.

meetings are still the same, but jihyo keeps on asking why your eyes have been straying, always going back to the door. waiting for that laugh to annoy you, waiting for a snarky remark to any stupid men flirting with you, waiting for anything from her

you really want to throw a chair at them for just showing up now and pissing you off

you don't though, because you missed them

each in their own suit, each with their own gift, each one with a nervous smile that no one will ever see, each one wearing their hearts up their sleeves, and each with the same question you didn't know you wanted to hear until now

"we like you. would you like to go out with us? dinner tomorrow night, our treat"

you can't say no

"you guys are horrible at courting. pick me up at 7"

bonus:

in every first date you've been on, you never come over to your dates home. that changes and ends with them

"hirai" you're trying to keep your breath stable as her hands are playing your hair. eyes hazy, but clearly on you, her self control out the door, just like yours

"myoui" she's behind you, her hands on your waist, murmuring what she's been thinking about for the past days. it's all you, and it makes you melt

"minatozaki" you let her kiss you, silencing your worries and doubts, silencing anything that makes you question them. the heart finally getting what it wants

"you my love, deserve to be ours"

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hermitcraftx · 15 days ago

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Joel winning the Life Series where he centered his entire gimmick this season around Family under the guise of "Joel Toretto" makes me insane because he was alone for so long in the Life Series and it works out so perfectly that the guy who was allergic to allies for the start of the life series and had to be forced into it with soulmates wins the season he focuses on Family. Poetic cinema.

1. Third Life Joel. No friends. No allies. He joined up with Monopoly Mountain last minute and died out of sight of either of them, mostly alone. He had a house full of dogs, not full of friends (and where is that familiar?), and nobody really mourned him when he was gone, offhand comments and brief "Oh No!s" following his death. Being alone got him nothing.

2. Last Life Joel. No friends. He's alone again, for the most part. In Last Life there's a lot of unknowns, a lot of instability- people can get back in yellow or green, or they try, so Joel has temporary red alliances with the likes of Scar and Grian but they don't last. He's alone. Again. Joel laments it, in one of his videos, IIRC, that he's bad at making allies, and "look at where it got him". The closest person he had to an ally in Last Life was Grian when they were both red, Grian seeing first hand how insane and blood thirsty Joel becomes on red. They call themselves the Deadliest Duo, and they kill people, and they laugh when they die. But Joel dies, still, killed by Scott, shortly after Grian permadies.

3. Double Life. Now it's different. Now we're seeing some changes. Joel gets put with Etho, who off the bat immediately considers him a liability, a notion he rejects and fights against to get Etho to respect him. He builds Etho a ship to try and impress him. Etho purposefully takes fall damage to remind him of what's at stake. He's not just a lone wolf, anymore, Etho's life is in his hands and he's not happy about it. Joel hates it, being treated fragile and like a bomb to go off. Eventually, they find out they work together well, they get killed, they go red and Joel goes crazy. Red rage is a real, definable, re-occuring phenomenon for Joel, he IS angry and he DOES want to make people pay. Etho in the life series is usually more reserved, and he holds Joel back, yes, but Joel also helps Etho out of his shell and pushes him to do things he wouldn't normally do. The ship burns everything burns. And then they burned. And Joel's first real alliance goes up in flames, literally.

4. Now Joel has a taste of what it's like to not be alone the entire season. He teams up with Jimmy and Grian, his Bad Boys, and he's fiercely loyal to them, and then to him. (Even Grian by his standards is FIERCELY loyal to the Bad Boys- I mean, he doesn't even kill one of them! I think. Not permanently?) He changes his skin, matching leather jackets, these are his people. And he'd die for his people. Joel and Grian try their best to keep Jimmy alive, Joel going so far as to say he'd have sacrificed himself to keep Jim alive, but it wasn't enough, he wasn't quick enough, and he died right afterwards, leaving Grian alone. But he wasn't alone. And he didn't go out alone.

5. Secret Life is.... weird. He has allies, yes, but it's a bit of a strange situation, he allies with the Mounders and he lives a bit of a ways away from them, not quite in the group but not quite out of it. But he doesn't want to be alone again. He knows what happens when you're alone in this game, and he doesn't ever want that to happen to him again. Mumbo goes out almost immediately following Jimmy, the third to go out. Pearl IIRC betrays the Mounders and messes around with Gem, which is really funny given the events of Wild Life. It's only him and Bdubs at the end, both murdered by Scott.

6. Now. Wild Life. Again. Joel knows what happens if you're alone in this series, and he never wants it to happen to him again. So he bases his persona around a movie character, one that everyone knows and likes, he thinks. He makes himself someone that he thinks people will want to befriend, one where he won't have to be alone. He makes himself look strong, fake muscles clumsily attached to his arms, quoting about family and the importance of it, a vast difference from the lonely man in 3rd Life and Last Life who couldn't be assed to find allies. And it works. He has Gem- and everyone fears them, for once. Everyone already knows Joel is insane, but with Gem behind him, he's a significant threat. Gem keeps him grounded, and from doing stupid shit that gets him killed. They have Etho, and he comes and visits, which is nice. Everyone struggles a lot with the Wild Cards early game but them, neither of them losing lives for several sessions. Joel even comments that normally he's red by session 4, and he doesn't know what to do with himself without all that anger. He lives his best life, with Gem, with his car.

And then Grian's allies die, and isn't that familiar, and Joel lets him into the Family, because of course he would, allying with Grian is like second nature to him at this point. Maybe he feels guilty for leaving him in Limited Life, or maybe he just knows what it's like to be alone and doesn't want that for him. Who knows. He tries and fails at building traps. As soon as he's yellow he gets a double kill on Scott and Pearl, and Grian and Jimmy scream with him like old times. And it's okay, I mean it's stressful and it's like the end of the world but Joel's doing okay, he has his family, he's not alone.

And then the finale comes and it's so hectic and so many people are trying to kill him and Grian saves him, Grian tries so hard to save him, and isn't that something. Being worthy of being saved by Grian. And Gem goes out, not even to a player, to a vex, one of his family members is gone and it's so hectic Joel can't even stop to mourn or he, too, will die. And then he finds Grian and he stumbles to him screaming "Thank God you're alive!" because it had gotten so crazy, so wild that Joel didn't truly even know if Grian was alive, but he was, he still had Family, he wasn't alone again, not this time. And Grian says that he thinks Joel can win, Joel can win, that he'll give Joel his life, that it's about time he wins and Joel gets flashbacks to wanting to die for Jimmy, and Scar wanting to die for Grian and what that did to him, and he doesn't want that, but GOD he wants to win. So badly. And then Grian got knocked off the tower with Bdubs, ender pearling off, screaming how he refused to go like Mumbo, like Skizz, not on his tower and Joel's running, EVERYONE is targeting him, Grian takes out Pearl and Joel takes out Cleo and Ren.

And then it's just them, then it's just Joel and Grian, and Joel can't even find Grian, he just heard the arrows as Grian tries to shoot him, going back on his word as expected, which Joel-- Joel is glad for. Because he wanted to win this on his own terms, he wanted to win because he won, he would not be given anything. He's not alone this time. And he charges up the tree, and he kills Grian, kills his Family, his Bad Boy, his red friend, his ally in the sand, screaming that he's sorry, and Joel laughs.

Joel laughs, and laughs, and laughs.

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dragonflavoredcake · 3 months ago

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Joel: Grian, remember that Jimmy's stream starts in five minutes; he's gonna be really upset if you're late again.

Grian: I know, I know.

Scar: Hey Grian, do you wanna play with Mr. Finnegan and Katy Bee?

Grian: Sure, I've got time!

Joel: GRIAN

#incorrect hermitcraft quotes #hermitcraft incorrect quotes #joel smallishbeans #smallishbeans #grian #pesky bird #jimmy solidarity #solidaritygaming #gtws #gtwscar #goodtimeswithscar #desert duo #desertduo #deadliest duo #hermitcraft #hermitblr

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blatistic · 7 months ago

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COLLEGE AU - KakaSaku

i saw genderbent fanart of sakura and literally swooned. so indrew the two of them in boxing outfits and i thought, huh they lewk too good for it to not be acknowledged. i like to think their club likes using them to promote their club bc theyre literally the deadliest commercial duo cuz gawd…theyre tew fine. since im also in college and club rush happened a few months ago, i thought abt combining the two and having them promote it in their gear like half naked. saku is super shy and so having sakura do it with him gives him enough courage. i thought it was fitting that kakashi joined the photography club based on sukea lol and i just feel like it fits his observant personality. and whew, hes OBSERVING quite a bakery😏 everyones around the same age btw

The comic at the end i just felt the need to add. its a lil pattern in my posts here where i add smthn small or cute as an addon but it began like taking too long so i half assed the coloring. woobs….anyway enjoy my annual tumblr post🥹

#blatistic #naruto #haruno sakura #sakura haruno #kakasaku #cute #naruto fanart #kakashi x sakura #kakashi hatake

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azrielsdove · 10 months ago

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Hi, hi! Can I request an unrequited love with Cassian x f!reader? I feel like I need some angst, but at the same time I'm afraid of angst hahaha.

Longing: Cassian x Reader

Warning: Angst, 18+

Pt.2: Cassian Here | Pt.2: Azriel Here

***

You stood at the corner of the ring, sharpening your knives. Every swipe of the blade against the stone was harsh, loud. You forced yourself to breathe in time with each rhythmic swish of metal and rock. Your eyes weren’t watching what your hands were doing, instead focused on the duo sparring across from you.

Cassian and Nesta.

“You’re going to whittle those away to nothing.” You didn’t move your gaze from the pair, instead sheathing the knife you were working on and picking up the next one.

“Leave me alone, Az.” You knew why he had come up to you. It was the same reason he always did when he caught you staring at the General. To tease you for your unreciprocated feelings. The knife hit the stone especially hard.

Azriel shook his head next to you. “You aren’t very inconspicuous.” You tore your eyes away from staring at where Cassians hands touched Nestas arms, showing her a better defensive maneuver, to glare at your friend.

“Fuck off, Azriel. I see the way you sulk after Elain.” You turned back to your sharpening, knives sliding against stone again. “For a spymaster, shouldn’t you be better at that?” You could almost hear the way his eyes rolled. You were sure he was about to hit you back with a witty retort, but the blade you were working on slipped against the stone, a clean slice going through your palm. You cursed and dropped the knife and stone, other hand coming up to try to stop the blood. Azriel grabbed your injured hand before you could, the nauseating sight of blood dripping onto the ground making you dizzy. You’ve seen your fair share of war and carnage, but something about your own blood made you ill.

“Come on,” he murmured, wrapping an arm around your waist to support you while applying pressure to your cut. You leaned embarrassingly hard against him, made only worse when you caught the devious smirk on Nestas face as she and Cassian watched you be practically carried away.

You couldn’t even bring yourself to look at the latter.

Azriel dragged you down to the kitchen, setting you gently in a chair while he rummaged the drawers for some healing supplies. You stared blankly at the blood running off your hand, dripping onto the stone floors below. Azriel was quick with pulling you up to the sink, washing the wound out. He applied some healing salve onto it before wrapping your hand tight with bandages. “There,” he said gingerly, curling his fingers around yours. “All better.” You looked up at him, shame coursing through your body. You’ve fought by his side for decades, one of the Night Courts deadliest soldiers.

A bit of blood should not affect you so.

Azriel pulled you in for a hug, running his hand soothingly through your hair. You wrapped your arms tight around his middle, burying your face in his chest and breathing deep. His chin came to rest on the top of your head as he breathed with you. You hated how panicked and small you would get when you were suffered an injury, but Azriel was always there to help.

Even when you wished that it was Cassian instead.

He was your friend too, just not quite in the same way. You loved and cared for Azriel as if he were your brother, and you were in love with Cassian. Cassian who would never look at you in that way. Cassian who has become enamored with the oldest Archeron sister.

Cassian, who was standing in the doorway to the kitchen, fidgeting awkwardly at the sight of you and Azriel.

“Hey Cass,” Azriel said, still holding you close and running his hand through your hair. You tensed in his hold, further embarrassed that you had been caught needing such coddling for such a minor injury.

“I, uh, just came to see if everything was alright.” You could hear the discomfort in his tone, presumably at the way one of his greatest warriors needed babied after cutting their hand. You wondered if it was possible for you to melt through the floor and never be seen again. “I’ll just leave you guys, to it.”

You waited until you were certain he was gone before untangling yourself from Azriel, embarrassment all over your face. He looked down at you with a knowing smirk, enjoying this far too much. “You knew he was coming,” you hissed between your teeth, crossing your arms tight in front of you. Azriel shrugged.

“So what if I did?”

You groaned, titling your head back and closing your eyes. “He’s never going to want me if he thinks me nothing but a child.” You glared at him as he started laughing, shaking his head like you were making the funniest joke he’s ever heard.

“You don’t know that’s what he thinks. He is your friend, he worries just like I do.” You rolled your eyes but your anger softened, appreciating that Azriel doesn’t just ridicule you.

“Fine, whatever you say. Can we go back to training now?”

***

You pushed your food around on your plate at dinner, trying hard to ignore Cassian and Nesta. Azriel had nudged you with his knee several times throughout the night, reminding you to stop scowling at the pair. You couldn’t help the jealousy that consumed you over how Cassian looked at her, the desire in his eyes. You couldn’t judge him, Nesta was deadly beautiful. As she battled her struggles with alcohol and her trauma she was even becoming rather pleasant to be around. You enjoyed watching the way she argued with Rhys, a favorite pastime of yours and Azriel’s.

Truly, there wasn’t anything wrong with Nesta. You just didn’t want Cassian to like her. It was immature and selfish, sure, but your heart had ached for him for too long. You glanced over to them again, biting your tongue at the flirtatious smile she threw his way. You were going to be sick.

You stood from the table rather abruptly, stilling when everyone turned to look at you. Damn fool, you cursed silently. “Uh, something came up,” you mumbled out, before turning and practically running from the room. Way to make it worse.

You felt a cool shadow twirl around your ankle, Azriel stealthily making sure you were okay. “I’m fine,” you told the thing, sending it back to him quickly. The last thing you needed was your friend chasing after you. Especially after Cassian had walked in on him comforting you the other day. He doesn’t need anymore reasons to think you’re weak.

You were grateful that dinner was at the new Riverhouse and not up at the House of Wind. You easily slipped out the front door, walking along the edge of the water. The night sky glittered above, a warm breeze blowing through your hair. You were always calmer out by the river, the flowing water a soothing accompaniment to your walk. Why can’t I just act normal around him? You thought to yourself, eyes focused on the ground in front of you. Things were so much better before she came along.

Back when you thought you had a real chance with the General. Before painful envy and shallow hatred took over your soul. You shook your head, looking over into the water and contemplating letting yourself sink to the riverbed. “Hey, are you okay?”

Yea, sinking into the river seemed like a great option right now.

You turned slowly to Cassian, a weak smile on your face. “Yea, just needed a minute.” He looked you over like he didn’t believe you, but nodded at your answer. You were less than thrilled when he moved up to your side, silently telling you that he was joining you on your walk.

“You know, you can always talk to me too. Az isn’t the only one you can trust.” You really do almost fall into the water in surprise at the jealousy lacing his words. You look at him out of the corner of your eye, observing the way he’s pointedly looking anywhere but directly at you.

“Az is my best friend. It doesn’t mean he’s the only one I trust.” Cassian scoffed, making you turn your full attention to him. “What’s so wrong with that?”

He stopped walking and turned to you, a strange anger in his eyes. “Don’t act innocent now. You don’t have to hide it anymore.” You froze, blood running cold. No, how did he find out? I wasn’t that obvious, was I? “I know you and Az are together.”

You blinked.

And then you burst into laughter. “Me and Az?! Oh please,” you choked out, relief coursing through you. He has no idea.

Cassian crossed his arms and glared at you. “I saw the way he was holding you in the kitchen after you got injured. I’m surprised he wasn’t suckling on your wound himself.”

Now it was your turn to get angry. “Excuse me? What is wrong with you?” Cassian rolled his eyes at your question.

“I just don’t understand why you would start avoiding me because you had feelings for him. Did he tell you to?” He looked at you expectantly, like he wasn’t being completely out of line.

“Cass, please. There is nothing between Az and I. If you weren’t so far up Nesta’s ass maybe you would be able to think clearly!” You knew you crossed a boundary before the words were even out of your mouth. Cassian went eerily still, wings tucked tight against his body.

“You have no idea what you’re talking about.” His voice was cold, a tone you’d never heard from him. “Nesta is…going through a lot. It is not a crime to help her.” He stared you down, an unspoken threat in his eyes.

“Have you considered, Cassian, that I am not avoiding you? That you are spending all your time with her, pushing your friends away?” You were shaking slightly, knowing that pushing him was a bad idea.

“You wouldn’t understand. I shouldn’t have tried to follow you out here.” He turned, preparing to fly back to the Riverhouse. “If you are happy with Azriel, that’s fine. You just don’t have to hide it.” You opened your mouth to argue, but he had already taken off. Instead you turned toward the river, kicking a wad of dirt into the rushing water as you let out a frustrated scream.

Why doesn’t he see that he’s the one I want?

***

Things had been tense since your conversation with Cassian a few weeks ago. He had spent the first few days after completely ignoring you during training, along with being extra aggressive towards Azriel. You had informed your friend of the conversation after another particularly brutal session that resulted in Az needing a healer.

“He could be jealous,” Azriel had offered in explanation, your glare shutting him up quick. He raised his hands in surrender, wincing at the lingered wound in his side. You continued to carefully wind the new bandages around him, trying to do it as neatly as the healer did. “Maybe you are misreading how he acts with Nesta.” You tightened the bandages a bit more than necessary as you pinned them closed, ignoring his noise of discomfort. “Alright, hint taken. I’m just saying, why would he be so upset at the idea of you with me if he’s head over heels for her?” Azriel stood, pulling his training top back down before looking at you expectantly. You sigh, turning away to place the bandages back in their drawer.

“If he had feelings for me, why would he spend all his time with her? He’s chosen to push us away, Az. I think he’s really upset with himself.”

***

You couldn’t sleep. Typically you would go bother Az until he gave you some of his sleeping tea, but he had been gone for a few days. You had tried to find the concoction in the cabinets in the kitchen and were halfway to rummaging through his room when you noticed the library lights were glowing. Maybe you could find company in whoever else was awake.

You paused outside the door when you heard the sound of voices, not wanting to interrupt. Through the crack in the open doors you could see Cassian….and Nesta. Great. You were about to continue heading for Azriel’s room when you took notice of their proximity. From this angle you could really only see Cassian’s back, but her legs on either side of his hips were unmistakable. Oh. Everything in you screamed to run, to look away. You couldn’t.

She gave a breathy moan as his head dipped down her neck, allowing you to see the way her eyes fluttered closed. The sound shot through you like a bullet, ripping your very soul apart. No. This isn’t happening. Hot tears slid down your face as you stood there in stunned horror, any hope left in your heart crumbling to dust. You watched Cassian’s hand slide up her thigh, slipping under her dress like he’d done this a million times. He probably has. Nesta’s nails dug into his shoulders and her cry of his name finally broke you from the hold of your fear. You ran from the library as quick as you could, tears blinding your vision. You weren’t looking where you were going, crashing into a familiar body.

“Whoa, whoa, what’s happening?” Azriel asked, wrapping his arms tight around you as you started crying even harder. You heard a faint noise behind you, drawing his attention.

“What’s happened?” Cassian demanded, ever the protective General. You happened. You buried your face in Azriel’s chest, wanting to disappear from this moment.

“That’s what i’m trying to figure out. What are you doing up?” You felt Azriel tense against you, presumably spotting Nesta and putting the pieces together. “Ah. Well, I think I will take her to her room. You have a…nice night, Cassian. Nesta.” He was dragging you subtly backwards, nodding to the pair before scooping you into his arms and heading towards your room.

“Just throw me off the balcony, Az,” you sniffled, tears still flowing freely. His hold tightened in a silent absolutely not. He pushed into your room, setting you gently on the bed and pulling the covers up around you. You felt a slight dip as he sat next to you, a hand running the familiar soothing path through your hair.

“I take it you saw them, then.” There’s no judgment or pity in his voice, only gentle truth.

You nodded against your pillow, your tears soaking the fabric. “I feel like i’ve been physically wounded. As if he stood in front of me and ran a sword through my body.” Azriel hummed from next to you, unsure what he should do. “Will you bring me some of your sleeping tea? A heavy dose.”

“Of course,” he said, leaning down to press a soft kiss to your forehead. “Let me bathe and change, and I will be right back.”

You sunk into your bed, begging the blankets to swallow you up. The pain of years of longing for someone who has chosen someone else was too much to bear. Azriel returned with a very strong cup of tea, warning that it may be a day or so before you woke up. You took the cup gladly, sucking the drink down without a second thought. Your mind emptied of all emotion as you began to drift to sleep.

The only thing left was the faint golden shimmer of the mating bond, shattered into a million tiny pieces.

***

Thank you for your request!!! I apologize that it took me SO long to get this out, I had to take a step back from requests for a while. I hope this is angsty enough for you<3. i went back and forth on how this piece should go, so please give me your thoughts!

#cassian x reader #acotar x reader #cassian x y/n #cassian x you #cassian #longing #requests #cassian angst

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