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randomfoggytiger · 4 months ago

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Mulder's Heart: Alluring Temptations, Denial, and the Slow Burn

In the novelization of Darin Morgan's episode War of the Coprophages (post here), Dr. Bambi Berenbaum is described as "the most beautiful woman that Mulder has ever seen" (loosely quoted, thank you @wonderxphile~.) The thought struck me that, perhaps, it's not an invention or interpretation of the novelist's so much as an offshoot of the root of Mulder's romantic inclinations-- specifically, ones that relate to his self-imposed celibacy.

During the early years of the show, David Duchovny described Mulder's choice to remain single in a particularly singular way: that Mulder was so dedicated to his work that any relationship or life outside of it would feel like cheating. As intriguing as that thought is, another crops up: if that be the case, why was he almost drawn off-course by various women on the show?

THE DESIRE OF THE EYE

All but one of Mulder's short love interests are narratively sexual characters. Phoebe Green and Diana Fowley were exes, both intending to seduce, distract, and control his focus away from the mission. Kristen Kilar and Bambi Berenbaum were two beautiful women that drew and attached his eye immediately. Lastly, Melissa Rydell was a bit of an outlier who still exuded the same pull as the other four: a commonality with Mulder-- one who "understood" him in ways other women hadn't (or wouldn't.)

If his work is his wife, then they are his (potential) mistresses.

Mulder fell hard and fast; but snapped out of his rose-colored fog just as quickly. Each woman didn't withstand the test of his work, always turning their back on him for someone else, someone "greater."

Except for Dana Scully.

SLOW BURN AND DENIAL

The difference between Scully and the other women was that she didn't knock Mulder's socks off at first sight: baggy suit, green haircut, cutting science, and fire-breathing accountability challenged and won his trust before it won his heart.

Be that as it may, within two episodes Mulder had very, very quickly shifted his estimation of Scully from spy to maneuverable hindrance to partner.

By Squeeze he was undeniably, irrevocably territorial. While he respected her decision to leave, he would most certainly have continued tracking her down wherever she was working to discuss details of his case, her case, or any tidbits in-between (as depicted by him interrupting her stakeout.)

Season 2 beat Mulder over the head until he realized how closely he tied Scully to the work. In Little Green Men, he needed her encouragement to combat self-doubt; but more importantly, he needed her there with him, by his side. After her abduction in Ascension, he became listless, self-destructive (@cecilysass's excellent meta here), and dispassionate for the work: there was no curiosity or joy of discovery in 3's case-- in fact, there was no joy at all. In One Breath, he tried to barter his life's work for Cancer Man's location, resigning anyway out of sheer guilt. (Later, he tried to sell his soul again, more directly, to save Scully's life in Memento Mori.) By Firewalker, Scully had already eclipsed the work-- which Mulder didn't acknowledge, to her or himself, until Fight the Future-- and he frequently abandoned leads or "the truth" if he thought her life were in danger. Although she had become indispensable, Mulder didn't realize he loved her until later in the narrative.

Still.

Scully acknowledged her feelings, indirectly, at various times through the series; but he only initiated when afraid she'd leave, forever. While genuinely blinded by his quest, Mulder wasn't stupid. Scully fishing for his genetics in Home led him to banter away the conversation, later fixing a chair firmly under the broken lock separating their rooms. Scully bringing a cheese platter to celebrate in Detour didn't grab his attention from the mystery, but it underscored his efforts to deflect her serious topic later in the forest.

Because, at the heart of the matter (the very place he tried to avoid), Mulder lived in bone-deep denial.

In E.B.E., he quips, "I think it's remotely plausible that someone might think you're hot"; in Irresistible, he fumes over no one noticing where "a pretty woman" went; even in A Ghost That Stole Christmas he huffs, "We're not lovers." Maggie Scully ascertained his feelings immediately in Ascension, and Melissa Scully pushed him to acknowledge them in One Breath: "At least she'll know. And so will you." During the cancer arc, he embraces Scully for never giving up, doesn't discuss her cancer unless absolutely necessary, freely offers affection on her deathbed; then after, tries to deflect a personal talk in the woods while in shock. Even thoughts of harm coming to his partner-- be it not wanting to consider Scully possibly dying in Piper Maru or the split second of doubt despite evidence when she did "die" in Kitsunegari-- throws up an instant wall of denial.

Mulder knew something was "there" after Melissa Scully made him confront himself-- in fact, he likely already sensed something during his conversation with Scully in Tooms-- but he didn't want to poke around to find out exactly "what" it was. He wasn't ready.

Yet.

"FOX " OR "MULDER"

The women closest to Mulder ended up calling him "Fox" (or "Sullivan")... all except Scully, his abandoned lunch colleague in Little Green Men, and the phone sex operator in Small Potatoes.

Scully herself is an even more isolated case, of course.

When she began to make a personal confession in Tooms, Mulder uncomfortably laughed off her "Fox...": "I even made my parents call me 'Mulder'. So. 'Mulder'." Perhaps that's true (or perhaps not, since his father and mother also called him "Fox.") Regardless, he sensed Scully was letting her guard down; and, fearing she was opening her heart in another direction, tried to fend off any loving regard. Scully surprised him, however: "Mulder, I wouldn't put myself on the line for anyone but you" incorporated his preference, expressed her loyalty, and was a far cry from a lovesick oath. He teased the moment away, pleased; then was, by turns, caught, unsettled, and relieved by her teasing repartee.

From that point, his name began to change from professional shield to personal endearment.

But what does this have to do with Mulder's mistresses?

SCULLY, HIS LIFE

Scully was inextricably linked with the work after her return; and, whether Mulder had fully accepted his love for her yet or not (and I'm beginning to think he hadn't fully until her cancer diagnosis), she was now his life. Drawing her away from a "normal life" and dragging her dog along on a lake monster excursion became an expected, routine part of his weekend.

Bambi-- the "most beautiful woman"-- appeared during this chummy, Season 3 phase. When larger questions and greater fears shook stability from under his feet, Melissa Rydell-- the alleged soulmate-- made her (apparently) destined entrance.

Both women fell into a pattern Phoebe and Kristen set: bold, shiny new possibilities; then solace-seeking and grasping insecurity. That pattern, however, was broken during the cancer arc, as exemplified by the exception to this general rule: Diana Fowley.

ESCAPING THE SNARE OF THE FOWLER

Phoebe, Kristen, Bambi, and Melissa effortlessly lured Mulder's focus from his own aims. Not permanently; just enough to create a foil for the work-- a.k.a. Scully. Mulder suffered a few burns from his false romances (post here): passing out from smoke inhalation, watching three buildings go up in flames, and being dismissed from the life of each romantic interest. Diana, too, betrayed him; and Diana, too, was tied to the blaze in his office.

However, Agent Fowley was not sought after like her predecessors. She was also the first to notice a change in Mulder.

When she arrived on the scene, boldly hitching her wagon to his theories and his work, she expected him to readily accept, nay beg, her back on the files. Instead, Mulder laughed off her concerns about Scully, gushing over his new partner's innate ability to make him "work for it." Further, he stuck by Scully's side when his ex was hospitalized, only straying in The Beginning when Diana created an elaborate ruse to separate the two. He didn't initiate or reciprocate her kiss in One Son; and he was more baffled than beaming when "she" wanted to play domesticly-ever-after in Amor Fati. In short, Mulder was not drawn romantically to Diana, at all: in fact, he was wary. Friendly, but distant.

She'd missed her chance.

If Diana had swooped in sometime before Memento Mori's unification, she could have exploited the gnarly feeling that had been building since early Season 4, or widened its distance post Never Again-- a distance that had been building since Mulder's sloughed-off remark in Home and unwitting partner replacement in The Field Where I Died. (More accurately, if CSM had bothered to pay close attention to his lab rats, he'd have noticed a weakness in their partnership and sent in his super rat to exploit it.) As it happens, she did not.

MULDER'S HEART

What does this mean for Mulder and Scully?

At the outset, I believed Mulder learned the depth of his love for Scully during the events of One Breath-- now, however, I'm convinced that's only half true.

Scully had already replaced the work's importance in his life, but neither understood the depths of his reliance on and devotion to her. Mulder was still gut-reacting, not wanting to delve too deeply into his heart to find the truth there. Never Again gave him a great and terrible shakeup because he'd taken Scully's place at his side for granted-- he'd thought "This work is my life" also extended to her; and that she'd glanced at his offer and was preparing to reject it. Mulder was living in full-blown denial: denial so deep that only the incurable, inescapable possibility of her death could tear his blinders off.

After her diagnosis, that denial was blown to pieces; and, afraid to face the ramifications of his realization, and her remission, he kept fleeing. As Scully says in Dreamland I, "We, we just keep driving."

That brings us back to Phoebe Green-- dangerous allure-- and Kristen Kilar-- mutual mourning partner-- and Dr. Berenbaum-- the "most beautiful woman"-- and Melissa Rydell-- tortured twin soul-- and Diana Fowley-- ancient history. His heart was free in Fire, unconsciously grieving in 3, charmingly in denial in War of the Coprophages, seeking Scully in other lives in The Field Where I Died, and beating only for her in The End.

CONCLUSION

A very interesting, complicated man, indeed.

Thanks for reading~

Enjoy!

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