#day 4 : childhood connections

[the-crooked-library]

Nuance, Narratives, and Nosferatu

As of today, Robert Eggers' Nosferatu (2024) has only been in theatres for 4 full days; and, coincidentally, that is about as long as I am able to let my thoughts marinate before they demand to be communicated. Before going into any further detail, let it be known that this film was made by freaks for freaks; it exists for the goths, the gays, the monsterfuckers, the historians, and for all those who delight in moral and thematic complexity.

With that being said - spoilers under the cut!

There are two principal narratives running through the flesh of Nosferatu, both of them rooted heavily in the cultural and literary origins of the story. It is a nightmare; it is also an erotic fantasy. It is horrifying, and it is also achingly romantic. From what I've seen so far, the vast majority of discourse that has already emerged around the film is caused by people misunderstanding or deliberately ignoring the relationship between these different lines of analysis; so please trust me when I say, from the bottom of my heart, that this duality is the very lifeblood of the movie.

The reason for that is, quite simply, that Nosferatu is a gothic horror film, set in 1830s German Confederation; and its plot relies on the same (sometimes contradictory) complexities often displayed in Victorian gothic fiction.

From the beginning of the movie, we are given to understand that Ellen Hutter met Count Orlok - the eponymous nosferatu - psychically, when she was very young. They spoke, she pledged herself to him, and was horrified to realize what she had done when he revealed his true visage to her in their first visual (and sexual) encounter.

Here, under the lilacs, the paths diverge.

The first reading of the film is perhaps the more straightforward. A young girl is essentially catfished and groomed by a much older, dangerous man. When they meet for the first time, she is a teenager; the lilacs that bloom where it happens become a trigger. He is the source of her madness and "melancholy" (depression), she has nightmares about him regularly enough that her husband is aware of them, and it is implied that she has been institutionalized in the past. Thomas Hutter is the physical representation of her one desperate hope for a normal life - but as the story progresses, she finds herself being denied even that. Orlok's psychic connection with her verges on demonic possession; in chilling, The Exorcist-inspired sequences, she writhes and mutters, prophesying a city-wide reign of death and terror. In pursuit of his claim on Ellen, Orlok terrorizes her husband, murders her friends - and, eventually, she gives her life to take him with her to the grave, saving the city from the plague he caused.

That is the horror element of Nosferatu; it deals with an exploration of childhood trauma, of PTSD, of difficulties maintaining a social life after the fact. It is easy to understand even from a modern viewpoint, and it pushes the film to its conclusion with a bleak, heart-wrenching punch.

The horror is not the only element of Nosferatu.

To contextualize the alternate - though just as correct - reading of the film, it is essential to understand that Ellen’s society was extremely sexually repressed, especially in regards to female and queer sexuality.

Both were severely medicalized, demonized, and restricted; and as such, when these topics do make an appearance in contemporary fiction, they are often inextricable from disgust and fear.

Dedicated as always to historical accuracy, Eggers maintains the same setting-based narrative coding.

In anticipation of morality arguments vis à vis monstrosity, depiction, and modern purity culture, let me clarify: this is something that works within his chosen genre. Horror, and especially gothic horror, invites a deeper analysis in regard to morality and motivation, and in this case, Eggers' homage to the origins of that genre grounds the narrative in its time and location, as well as fleshing it out much further than a purely modern cultural lens would permit. In this context, the details of Ellen's connection with Orlok become paramount to the understanding of the film.

As bits and pieces of their background become revealed, the audience realizes that her psychic gift did not begin with him - and neither did her melancholy, or her isolation. She was born with her abilities, and throughout her childhood, she was a bit of a tomboy by her contemporary standards, running wild in the woods near her father's property; however, once she foretold her mother's death, and once she was too old to get away with eccentricities, her father became frightened of her abnormality. She was isolated, confined indoors, and that is when her melancholy had begun. Painfully lonely and aching for some form of companionship, she called out into the ether; and Orlok responded.

Over the course of their story, he becomes the physical manifestation of everything Ellen perceives as dark and sinful about herself.

He is psychic, he is vicious, possessive, and blatantly sexual; her sensual affection with Anna parallels the evident and physical attraction he displays towards Thomas; and the social power he so easily commands is the same that she lacks, being a woman in a rigidly patriarchal society.

In the end, the severely questionable age gap, the murders, the coercion, the betrayal - all of that comes down to respect. Throughout the film, that is the one thing that Ellen is consistently denied. She is young when she meets Orlok, yes; but she is aggressively infantilized by her surrounding society even when she is a grown, adult, married woman.

It starts from the beginning of the film, when the Hutters visit the Harding family. During those scenes, the men are shown talking business - while the women play with children in the parlour; and the same social framing persists into the body of the film. When Ellen is suffering from what appears to be some form of mental illness, she is referred to as a child by multiple different characters; and when the condition progresses, she is swiftly diagnosed with hysteria and drugged - thus being forcibly removed from the discussion of her own illness. The general reactions to that illness - which is, in fact, a display of her psychic abilities - range from annoyance to fear to curiosity; it is seen either as a disability or a curse, rather than anything entirely innate to who she is. Her fears are dismissed. Harding tells her to learn some deference. Even closer to the finale, when Von Franz admits that she could have been a great priestess in another age, he does so with pity rather than anything else; in their industrial era, he cannot help but see her only as a tragic sacrifice - horrible, but necessary to save the city from a plague. Brought in to heal her, he instead guides her to her death.

All these aspects of Ellen's circumstances find a direct opposite in her relationship with Orlok. Unlike all other characters in the film, he only ever sees her as his equal, which is made even more evident when his interactions with Thomas and Herr Knock are brought into consideration. With both men, Orlok insists on being addressed by his lordly title, "as his blood demands it"; and yet, Ellen never calls him by any title at all, be it "My Lord" or even a simple "Herr." She argues with him freely, and there is a familiarity between them that he is demonstrated to never tolerate from anyone else. Similarly, while he disguises the covenant he makes with Thomas, the terms of his covenant with Ellen are laid out clearly, in full. He does not hide from her; she already knows the worst of him, the same way he knows that she is intelligent, that she is powerful, and that she is not meant to be demure and deferring. Again and again, Orlok insists that Ellen is not meant for humanity - and the true horror, the horror she cannot bring herself to face, is that he is right.

In a sense, he is a mirror held up in front of her own face. Ellen is painfully aware that she does not fit in, and that she never has. The "normal" society, epitomized by the Hardings (wealthy husband, pretty blonde wife, 2.5 kids), has no place for her - and actively dislikes her.

The film makes this ostracism impossible for the viewer to ignore. As the story progresses, it becomes evident that the other human characters - even those that do sincerely care for Ellen - never truly know her. Anna loves her, but wishes she would not talk of dreadful things - and lashes out as a result of that discomfort, scolding her. Sievers finds himself bewildered by her; Knock sees her as an object to trade; Von Franz pities her, Harding hates her, and Thomas cannot truly satisfy her, even after being touched by the supernatural himself.

Seeing a flash of a monstrous face while they are together, he flings her away. To him, his experience with Orlok is merely traumatic, and he wishes for nothing more than to leave it behind. However, to her, it is something she cannot help but crave; and she continues to wear her lilac perfume.*

All that to say - Count Orlok is, simultaneously, everything Ellen wants and everything she is terrified of being.

That specific dichotomy reaches its climax during their mutual finale. As it is to be expected from a vampire wedding night, they rejoin in a sequence of sex, blood, and renewed vows - and what is particularly notable is that (unlike Murnau) Eggers makes it clear that this Orlok never intended to kill his Ellen, despite his inability to resist her blood. Though he drinks from her through the night, he stops at cock-crow; and she guides his head back down herself, distracting him long enough for the sun to rise. It is a duet of accident and intention. He drains her; and she holds him as the sun drains him. They cling together as they end - on a bed that serves their wedding and their death.

It is romantic. it is unquestionably romantic. However, that does not mean that the horror isn't also present; Ellen's consent, under these circumstances, is highly debatable, and Orlok is cruel, amoral, and murderously possessive. At the same time, the characters are also acting out folkloric archetypes, with precious little adjustment to that framework - which further removes them from a modern understanding of morality. He is Death, a Koschei the Deathless, a monster; she is the Maiden, a Vasilisa, a damsel. I hesitate to liken them to the Beauty and the Beast, largely because in the original premise of that story, the Beauty falls in love with the kindness that the Beast consistently displays; and it is essential to stress that Orlok has none. He does care for Ellen, in his own way, but he admits to being incapable of love as she defines it in human terms;** and, curiously, that seems to be her primary concern when it comes to the idea of accepting his proposal - rather than all the blood and carnage.

What I'm trying to say, I suppose, is that there are multiple ways of following a story, and multiple different stories in a film as nuanced as Nosferatu. Yes, it is about grooming and trauma. Yes, it is about finding love outside of the cage that is "polite society." I'm sure that it is many other things besides, with as many meanings as there are people in the theatres; after all, I am only one person, and the film grossed something over $40M in its first three days. The point is, really, that this is a story in which a rotting vampire is woken from centuries of deathlike slumber by a lonely voice asking him to be her friend; and whatever these two strange and aching souls do with that can go down any myriad of paths. The film trusts the viewer to interpret the narrative they choose.

* LILAC PERFUME - in fact, it is such a consistent favourite of Ellen's that Orlok smells it on her hair in the locket she sends with Thomas to the castle. Thomas never really learns the reason she likes that scent - even though he knows that preference well enough that he gifts her lilacs in the beginning of the film.

** ORLOK'S OBSESSION - this is a side note, but: the vampire wedding sequence reminds me strongly of the third season of NBC's Hannibal. I suppose that was to be expected, considering that Hannibal is also a Dracula offshoot, much like Orlok himself. When Ellen snaps at Orlok that he cannot love, he responds that "no; but only with you, I can be truly sated." Similarly - "Is Hannibal in love with me?" asks Will; and Bedelia responds - "Could he feel a daily stab of hunger for you, and find nourishment at the very sight of you?" I'd say if you liked that series, you should try and see the film. It works with a familiar blend of aesthetic horror.

[kiddotarot]

PAC - How will be 2025 going for you ?

Hi guys , its almost 2025 so here a new reading for you . Just close your eyes , trust yourself and choose a picture.

Divider credit goes to- @uzma-qureshi :)

Pile 1. Pile 2. Pile 3.

Cards - 7 of cups ( r ) , 3 of cups ( r ) , 3 of sword ( r ) , The Devil ( Bottom)

Ok so pile 1 , i think this pile is for very specific group of people. You guys literally coming out from a very toxic situation it can be a relationship or a forced situation for you where you feel stuck in your current life or may you you still can feel that it's hard for you to move on from some kind of big break from life or in a very Negative situation, please take care all of you. for the first 4 month i think you you may be try to get out from your current situation and may be try to find solution there will be not much option and possibilities for you but you will try to fight from the situation that you are facing and again it's very specific so you may be feel troubled from commitment issue to a particular situation or relationship. You will try to solve all our past things and maybe work on things that provide you more opportunity and stability. Please try to walk out of any situation that hurts you either its relationship or something else. No matter how beautiful the view is, the Window hurts . There will not be a supportive environment Around you. Maybe you feel that your family members or your family are not giving you much support they have to. Or may be you try to cut yourself from other to heal within yourself. It's more likely for people who have a toxic relationship you may start To heal from the pain of a breakup or a heartbreak situation and let go of what is causing you pain , self-talk is really important in this process. All the best.

Pile 2.

Cards - Queen of cups ( r) , The sun , king of cups , 8 of Cups.

Dear pile 2 you may feel lacking support or resources around you currently or in the start of year or end of 2024. You can also feel you need nurturing or healing before entering in 2025 you need to sit and heal your innself And you may want to work on yourself this new year. 2025 looks very positive for you. You may start healing your inner child and be happy like a child like the sun card. You take care of your inner child or maybe do something which gives you nostalgia of your happy childhood days. But sure there is so much happiness and success coming for you . Your heart will be ready to experience all happiness and find the whole word in his playground or garden. You will be bright again. There will be support for you and you feel compassionate about anything to you. I see there will be financial support or gain can come for you. But be careful there can be too many choices in front of you or you may feel confused Where you should invest your money and you can feel a lack of commitment toward things or money spending. Great cards . All the best.

Pile 3 .

Cards - The magician, 9 of pentacles ( r ) , lovers , 6 of wands ( r ) .

Pile 3 , I see you are very determined about your thing and action . You are very creative currently or at the start of 2025. You have a vision And you want to manifest it in the new year. You set your goals and are ready to go for it. But be careful with spending money and how you invest it. You may try to push yourself hard and may lose your health, so take note when you are giving someone money or spending too much. It's important for you in your long term goals. Next lovers card pops out. You may find a great romantic connection or person there are high chances or you may try to take a connection on the next level to meet your soulmate. I told you are ready to manifest this in 2025 but be careful again how much you are investing your feelings and money in anything. There can be problems and delays in good news or in some kind of success but don't feel hopeless. It can be a sign of patience and keeping faith. Best of luck.

[bestofmultiverse]

Between the pages || 2

Aubrey plaza x fem!reader

" I was half in love with her by the time we sat down. That’s the thing about girls. Every time they do something pretty, even if they’re not much to look at, or even if they’re sort of stupid, you fall half in love with them, and then you never know where the hell you are. "

- J.D. Salinger, The catcher in the rye

Part 1 • Part 3 • 4 • 5

Y/N blinked, trying to get her bearings in the soft morning light streaming into her bedroom. She wasn’t on the sofa anymore, and she certainly hadn’t fallen asleep in her bed last night. But here she was, tucked neatly under her comforter, and beside her, separated by a few pillows, lay Aubrey. She was asleep, her face softened by rest, her features even more striking in the early morning calm.

A smile crept across Y/N’s face as she studied Aubrey’s peaceful expression. She was undeniably beautiful—not just beautiful for her age, but in a way that felt timeless and grounded. It made Y/N’s stomach flutter, and a slight pang of insecurity hit her; Aubrey was everything Y/N admired—confident, talented, and effortlessly alluring.

Feeling her heart race at the thought of Aubrey waking up to see her staring, Y/N slipped out of bed as quietly as possible, padding to the bathroom for a quick shower. When she returned, she busied herself in the kitchen, quietly making breakfast. The faint hum of the radio kept her company as she toasted bread and scrambled eggs, relishing the simple, cozy act.

“Good morning,” a familiar voice murmured, soft and sleepy, breaking Y/N out of her thoughts.

Y/N turned, catching sight of Aubrey leaning against the doorway, her hair still mussed from sleep. She looked comfortable, yet somehow effortlessly poised, even in Y/N’s small kitchen. Y/N blushed, realizing how close they were.

“Good morning! Do you want something to drink?” Y/N asked, smiling. “I don’t really drink coffee, but I can go grab you some from the café around the corner if you’d like.”

Aubrey’s lips curved into a warm smile. “No need, this is perfect. I’m just happy to be here.” She stepped closer, glancing at the plates Y/N was setting up.

“So… not to rush you out, but I have a mountain of work today,” Y/N said with a small, guilty grin. “You’re welcome to stay, but just a heads-up—I might be a little boring.”

Aubrey laughed, her expression softening. “That’s okay, I get it. I have some things to get to anyway.” She hesitated, then continued, “But… I’d love to see you again, if you’d like that.”

Y/N’s face lit up, her smile wide and genuine. “I’d love that too.”

From then on, their connection only grew. They read together, taking turns with books y/n recommended, and spent hours talking about everything from their childhood dreams to favorite movies. After their third date—a late-night visit to a bookstore followed by a stroll through a quiet park—Aubrey walked Y/N home. They held hands, a shared warmth between them, and when they reached Y/N’s door, Aubrey leaned in, pressing a soft, gentle kiss to her lips. It was careful, as if reading Y/N’s shyness and matching it with tenderness.

As the days turned into weeks, they grew more comfortable, falling into each other’s lives seamlessly. Aubrey was patient, taking her time to get to know Y/N. She made Y/N feel safe, and Y/N adored every minute they spent together. Soon, they were FaceTiming in between meetings, texting about little things that made them think of each other, and finding moments to be together whenever they could.

When they finally crossed that last boundary, sharing their first night together, it was both gentle and passionate. They communicated, both eager yet considerate, learning each other’s wants and needs. Aubrey’s natural confidence took over, her assertiveness balanced by her desire to make Y/N feel loved and respected. Y/N, in turn, was just as attentive, savoring every moment with Aubrey, discovering a balance between playful and deeply intimate.

Two months into their relationship, it wasn’t just the two of them who noticed how special their connection was. After a dinner date, a paparazzi photographer managed to capture a candid shot of them leaving the restaurant hand in hand. By morning, the image was everywhere, spreading faster than Y/N could have imagined.

Aubrey’s publicist called with the news, explaining that the story had already taken off. Y/N knew Aubrey was a public figure, but she hadn’t expected their private moments to become public conversation so suddenly. Their little bubble was shattered, and suddenly her face was online, next to Aubrey’s in articles and tabloid stories speculating about their relationship.

The attention was overwhelming. Y/N’s friends started teasing her about dating “the Aubrey Plaza,” while her family’s reaction was more complicated. They had always known she was queer, but the age difference gave them pause, making them wonder if Y/N was really ready for such a serious relationship.

As the media frenzy grew, it was hard for Y/N to brush off the harsh comments online—insinuations about why Aubrey would date someone younger, or assumptions about Y/N’s motives. It felt as if the world was intruding into their private life, prying apart the joy they had found together.

But Aubrey was her anchor through it all. Late one evening, after Y/N shared how overwhelmed she felt, Aubrey wrapped her arms around her and whispered, “Forget them. I know who you are, and you know who I am. The rest… it doesn’t matter.”

They held each other close that night, letting the world outside fade, finding comfort in each other’s presence. And as they lay there, Y/N knew that, no matter the scrutiny, what she shared with Aubrey was real, something worth fighting for—even if they’d have to face the world together, one step at a time.

As days went on, the intensity of the media attention didn’t exactly die down, but Y/N and Aubrey learned to adjust. Aubrey handled it with practiced ease, guiding Y/N with little tips on how to ignore the comments and dodge prying eyes. Despite the pressure, they found solace in each other, learning to carve out quiet moments that felt like their own little world.

One evening, they decided to stay in for a movie night at Y/N’s apartment. Y/N had loaded up a few of Aubrey’s favorite old films, trying her best to make it feel special—a few candles, some popcorn, and a cozy blanket they could share.

“You know,” Aubrey said, settling down next to Y/N, “I don’t think I’ve had a better night in ages.” She glanced around, smiling at the thoughtful touches Y/N had put together. “You really went all out.”

Y/N blushed, nudging her playfully. “It’s just popcorn and candles. Hardly a red carpet.”

Aubrey smirked, tilting her head. “It’s the thought, and you, that make it perfect.” She reached for Y/N’s hand, entwining their fingers, and squeezed gently.

As the movie started, they fell into a comfortable silence, Y/N nestled into Aubrey’s side. The world outside felt far away, reduced to nothing more than the faint city hum in the distance. Halfway through the film, Aubrey leaned over and softly kissed Y/N’s forehead, her lips lingering just a little longer than usual. Y/N looked up, her heart skipping as she met Aubrey’s gentle gaze.

“Thank you for sticking with me through all of this,” Aubrey murmured, tucking a loose strand of Y/N’s hair behind her ear.

Y/N’s hand found its way to Aubrey’s cheek, tracing the soft lines of her face. “I’m not going anywhere. I knew this might be hard, but… you’re worth it.” She offered a small, reassuring smile. “And I’m learning. I mean, I’ve got the best teacher.”

Aubrey chuckled, pulling Y/N closer. “Flattery will get you everywhere, just so you know.”

They spent the rest of the night laughing, sharing stories, and talking about the little things they hadn’t yet told each other. Y/N felt a kind of warmth she hadn’t felt before—a love that was both grounding and freeing, as if Aubrey had opened up parts of herself she didn’t know existed.

A few weeks later, they decided to spend a weekend out of the city, heading to a secluded cabin by the lake. Aubrey had rented it on a whim, sensing that they both needed a little time to breathe away from the constant hum of the city.

On their first morning there, Y/N woke up to the smell of coffee and soft music playing. She wandered out to find Aubrey on the deck, wrapped in a flannel blanket with two mugs steaming in her hands. The sun was just rising, casting a soft pink glow over the lake.

Aubrey turned when she heard Y/N approach, her eyes lighting up. “Morning, sleepyhead. Thought you’d like to join me for the sunrise.” She handed Y/N a mug of tea, remembering she didn’t drink coffee.

They sat in comfortable silence, watching the sun climb slowly above the horizon, casting a shimmering path across the water. It was quiet, almost surreal, and Y/N felt the weight of everything slip away, replaced with the calm of being completely at peace in the moment.

After a while, Aubrey shifted, turning toward Y/N. “You know,” she said softly, “this is the happiest I’ve been in a long time.”

Y/N looked at her, her heart swelling at the sincerity in Aubrey’s eyes. “I feel the same way,” she whispered. Then, unable to resist, she leaned in, capturing Aubrey’s lips in a soft, lingering kiss.

As they pulled away, Aubrey grinned, her eyes shining with something close to wonder. “I don’t care about the noise, Y/N. As long as I have you, I’m exactly where I need to be.”

Y/n beamed at her

"So, what are we reading today?" Aubrey asked after a few seconds of comfortable silence

"I thought maybe 'the catcher in the rye, its a classic"

Aubrey nodded before pulling the younger woman into another soft kiss.

They stayed like that, wrapped up in each other and the quiet beauty of the morning, with their book and hot drinks, feeling as if, just for that moment, they were the only two people in the world.

_____

Just a quick note:

i dont really think itll be a series, maybe a bunch of chapters that might actually work as a full story or at least the same like universe, but im not sure if ill continue to write it regularly or not so just an heads up.

Also im in love with Aubrey plaza.

[adviceformefromme]

How I healed my inner child: 

1] I read Susan Anderson - taming your outer child. This book changed my life, it was recommended to me and taught me the ways my inner child reacts when hurting, it teaches how to journal with your inner child which in moments of extreme anxiety has allowed me to connect with little me and unblock what is coming up in that moment. 

2] CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy). Another opportunity to learn about how toxic behaviours in my relationships were rooted in my childhood. Understanding this helped, although did not fully clear this out…

3] Until I started EFT (emotional freedom tapping), working with a EFT therapist (costs the same as a meal out or a new pair of shoes if not less), each session I was able to unblock traumas and behavioural patterns that were rooted in my childhood and make peace with them once and for all. 

4] Forgiveness, I’ve mentioned this before but writing every situation that has hurt me since I could remember from childhood to present day and visualising myself as a loving adult letting little me know I am sorry (one by one) for each trauma I went through, no matter how big or small. This took a few weeks/ months but the weight I felt after, I knew shifts had been made. 

[tarotwithdanise]

YOUR PERSON LOVE FOR YOU

꒰⠀from left to right ; intuitively choose the pile your mind, heart and soul desire for. if you are having trouble choosing the right pile for you, here’s some tips you can do ; (1) take a deep breath (2) close your eyes (3) ask guidance from your guides (4) finally open your eyes and you can choose the right pile for you by the guidance you ask from your guides. if you are still having trouble by choosing the right pile for you let me know because i am willing to help and guide you.

1 - 2 - 3

reader's note: this is NOT a depth reading so please bear with it.

PILE ONE

You are their dream, their angel. they can love you forever despite the hurt you may give to them. They love your gazes at them, those innocent eyes that if you fall deeper they are able to witness the sea of doubts and worries you have been through in life. They consider themselves lucky to meet someone like you in this lifetime. They have an intense romantic love and passion for you that may become a crime, if there's a law about it. You make them feel excited each day you are their motivation, they think they've found the one. Someone who is loaded with talent and perfection. They don't want to rush rather they want to enjoy every minute with you.

extra messages : oceans, a distant star, crush, 21, gemini, sagittarius, j and b.

PILE TWO

(reader's pov: bruhhh! i was currently sipping a coffee while doing tarot for this reading and then the song "espresso" popped up next on my spotify playlist.)

Just like a coffee, you're gonna make this person's heart rate going with your presence. They also find it attractive how hot a human you are. They love how witty and random your humor is, you always leave a remarkable expression to them. If this person is a biker then you are their backpack perhaps there's a little bit of sensual attraction between you and them. They love your energizing and captivating smile. They may often find themselves addcticted to you as a caffeine can to a person. You are their escape from their challenging days.

extra messages: perfect strangers, coffee shop, biker, yellow, black, childhood, different personality and character, ring, aries, taurus, pisces, D, G and N.

PILE THREE

They think you are as sweet as sugar, starting from your personality down to your appearance. They paint a perfect picture of you and them walking down the aisle, the beautiful face of yours smiling at them that never fades to their imagination. They think God sent you from above and give someone like you to them that seems to come from a well known museum and has an expensive value. This person thinks you and them have an unbreakable soul connection and they're completely enamored with you.

extra messages: angel and devil behavior, bouquet, park, guitar, 1221, online love, scorpio, libra, aries, virgo and sagittarius, K, F, R and E.

© tarotwithdanise ── all rights reserved. do not copy, translate, alter, or repost my work with or without my explicit permission.

[just-a-ghost00]

Mistery messages

I decided to let the cards speak and see what messages wanted to come through. I have no idea what the theme will be. We may get different themes for each group or similar ones, I don't know. Let's just dive in!

Group 1

Page of pentacles, 5 of pentacles, 4 of cups, King of swords, Magician, Queen of wands, back of the deck Queen of cups

To manifest your desired reality, you need to love yourself more. There are parts of you that you have been neglecting. You need to dive deeper to uncover them. Some of you have been feeling empty and frustrated for quite a while. Spirit is saying there is a reason why that you need to study carefully. Love will not come in the shape of a man/woman coming to save the day. It needs to be birthed in yourself and radiate through you. You do not need others to be happy. Your desired reality will come in when you embody the masculine and feminine equally. You may be missing a certain person and holding on to their energy. Your guides want to tell you that there is someone else meant for you. A person that will match your vibration and be on the same level as you, unlike this page of pentacles. This person will be naturally attracted to you as you step back into your power and embody that divine feminine energy. When your assertiveness and nurturing nature are brought back, then can this person come into your life.

You also got Ancestors, Soul Work, The Explorer and Nature as the back of the deck for your oracle cards.

In the near future, you will be called to do more inner work, potentially shadow work to heal past trauma that may have been passed down to you from generation to generation. You will need to look further back into your past to understand why you feel so disconnected from things and people, why maybe you struggle so much in relationships, especially romantically. You'll have to look at ancestral patterns that may have shaped your beliefs surrounding love. Also, you're asked to spend more time in nature or studying your own nature. As in trying to discern what is truly you and what was fed to you. It feels like you don't really know yourself that much and what your needs are when it comes to love. You need to reassess those needs in order to manifest a partner that matches your expectations of love. You may feel urged to travel, possibly back to your roots. So that could mean that you go back to your childhood home for some. Or that could be metaphorical.

Group 2

King of pentacles, Emperor, Hermit, White Numen, Ace of cups, Empress, back of the deck the World

You will gain clarity about a meaningful connection in your life. Potentially one involving an Earth sign. I was specifically picking up on Taurus and Virgo vibes. But we also have Aries being represented. More specifically, you may understand better how a certain father figure or masculine figure plays a role into this connection and impacts it. This figure we're talking about is quite controlling. I feel like despite the resistance that this figure creates, there will be forward movement in this connection. I'm getting a message of renewed feelings and wanting to create something tangible together. I'm getting a message of this person by passing other's opinion and trying to give this connection a chance, even though they're not sure where it will lead. If you were in a connection with a specific person that may have significant earth placements in their chart, I feel like this person is finally clear on their intentions towards you. After a period of separation they're finally ready to come towards you. Spirit is getting my attention on the Emperor / Empress combo. Saying that this person and you are finally seeing eye to eye and aligning with each other. With the world, I get the message that this person could be living at a distance from you and trying to physically get closer to you. Also they value this connection a lot. While being away from you, this person realized how much you meant to them and they're ready to express that love. They're coming out of silence. I also get the message that this person has been watching you from afar for quite a while. They've seen you grow and evolve but most importantly they've seen how you reacted to them taking their distances and it showed them that you could be trusted. Because you've been acting very mature and gave this person space, they were able to draw the conclusions they needed to make.

For your oracle cards, you got Ascension, Power, Underworld and Patience as the back of the deck.

Because of your patience and acceptance, this connection is able to take a step further. I feel like you and this person may want to keep your connection hidden from other people to protect it from external influences. This person also feels incredibly attracted to you and their desire for you is growing as we speak. I feel like they're guided by the universe to let go of the need to control every aspect of this connection and just surrender to how they feel. This person may have been through a spiritual awakening recently. I'm getting the message that they've received valuable information at night or through their dreams. This person feels tied to you in a way they can't explain. Now that they see clearly, this person feels in a position of control over the outcome of this connection. They are more optimistic than they were before and they've gained more courage because of that. Maybe now they're less intimidated by how they feel and feel more inclined to fight for this connection and talk about it around them, though people may not aprove of it. Again, I'm specifically picking up on the energy of a father trying to deter their son from dating the person they like. And the son finally deciding to stand up for themselves and tell their dad to mind their own business.

Group 3

Queen of swords, 5 of wands, 3 of sowrds rx, The Devil, 8 of cups, White numen back of the deck King of pentacles

I feel like the theme for this group is career and work related situations. Lately, you may feel like you're struggling a bit more than usual or that people are testing your patience and limits. You may feel like you constantly have to be on your guards and fight to be able to protect yourself from people's bad intentions, judgmental behaviors and nagging. I feel like maybe people around you have been talking behing your back and you may have heard of it. Spirit is wanting you to know that it's important that you don't give in to these people's energy. Don't fall in their trap and don't play their game. Be the bigger person and move on from these situations. Try not to hold any grudges because there are better times and opportunities coming your way. It is important that you keep your destination in mind and that you stay on track with your goals. You can do it. You have everything it takes. Spirit wants to let you know that you are being supported and that your maturity and stability will be the key to get you out of this tricky situation. Also, you may have a higher authority on your side, protecting you from these people's influence. This could be a boss, a mentor, a spirit guide, a family member or another cowerker that just cannot stand injustice and will speak up for you. This may sound paradoxical but spirit is asking you not to adress this situation with these people. If you did, it could make things worse. If they see that you don't react, they'll think their attitude just doesn't work with you and they'll eventually leave you alone. You have to keep your head up high and remain focused on yourself. These people cannot hinder you, they do not define you nor your worth. You are stronger and better than them. Do not give in to the temptation of taking your revenge. Just move on and keep working towards your desired reality.

For your oracle cards, you got Power, Transmute, Manifest and Higher Perspective as the back of the deck.

Spirit is letting you know that there is a purpose to this situation and these setbacks. There's a lesson to be learned here. Use this situation as fuel to make your dreams a reality. You have to transform that negative energy into gold. You got the power to elevate and reach greater heights than these people will ever get the chance to. You are asked to see the bigger picture and read beyond the surface of what is going on. Why do you think these people are acting this way? What does it say about them? You are devinely protected in this situation. You can call onto your spirit team for extra protection and guidance if you wish. Spirit is reassuring you on the fact that these minor setbacks will not influence your fate or prevent you from getting your manifestations. On the contrary, it may help you manifesting them quicker. Use this situation as an extra boost, try to see the positive in this experience and keep going. You got this sweetheart!

[obessedwithfictionalmen]

Co-Stars

Callum Turner X Actress! Reader

Sumarry: Y/n and Callum's best moments that made the internet panic!

Waring: use of Y/n/ Swearing/ kissing/

A/n: This story is not related to the childhood friend to lover one.

To say they had chemistry off screen would be an understatement. Y/n and Callum were getting along too well-off screen. It sparked rumors of them dating their multiple interviews were made into short YouTube videos that were tilted: Y/n and Callum flirting with each other for 4:24 minutes. In those videos, we could see their best moments.

-

‘’You obviously get real woman to dance with you, Austin you get Meatball the dog’’ the interviewer stated. Y/n chuckled as she looked at Austin. ‘’Yeah, Meatball is an amazing actor, great dance partner, but heavier than you think. But don’t tell him that.’’ He answered. ‘’Yeah, don’t tell him that’’ Y/n and Callum said at the same time, making them giggle. ‘’Did he do boot camp?’’ the interviewer asked. Austin was saying his answer, but a joke came to Callum’s mind. ‘’He did bark camp’’ he said. Y/n laughed at his joke, but since the tree actors were tired, they all started to laugh for minutes. ‘’I’m so sorry’’ Y/n said, laughing. She put her hands on Callum’s thigh to stop her from falling off her chair. ‘’Don’t fall’’ Callum laughed. Since she was between the two boys, they both tried to catch her, they succeeded, and they were able to calm down.

-

After this interview, people started to talk about how they said the same thing, how Y/n laughed to Callum’s joke and how Austin was third wheeling. But when they did a group interview, the speculations jumped.

-

‘’Obviously, it’s a men cast, but we do have some amazing woman as well, boys can you talk to us about that’’ Josh, the interviewer asked. The crowd screamed when Barry pointed to Y/n and mouthed that she was amazing. ‘’I mean, Y/n is just amazing. The way she bodied her character and wasn’t afraid to speak her mind and yeah, it was astonishing. We were all impressed by her performance in episode 3’’ Austin said. She thanked the blonde. ‘’Like Austin said, I remember in one of the scenes in an upcoming episode, we watched her act and we felt intimated by her, cause her character is badass and this powerful woman, she’s not afraid to yell at someone and seeing the sweet, polite Y/n, I can say it, it’s in the trailer, but fake punch a guy that was two times taller than her was impressive as fuck’’ Callum said. Y/n blushed; she remembered the day they shot that scene. ‘’Yeah, when Gary said cut, they were all looking at me like, so impressed of what I just did, it was fun.’’ She added.

-

The comments following that interview were about the fact that she blushed after Callum’s compliment. Paparazzies were trying to get them to talk about a possible relationship, but the two actors denied anything between them. Even the other actors were getting asked if there was anything between Y/n and Callum. It was starting to become a problem, but the P.R team thought it was great to promote the story, so they didn’t do anything to shut the rumors down.

-

Drew Barrymore was sitting next to Austin, they were having a moment, Y/n and Callum were starting to feel left out. But now, Drew was talking about her date that she has tonight. ‘’But what if you get weird vibes from the start?’’ She asked. ‘’Then run’’ Y/n and Callum said at the same time, making them smile. ‘’You two are always timed, you both say the same thing, all the time’’ Austin laughed. ‘’We’re connected.’’ Y/n says. ‘’But back to your date’’ Callum said as he put his arms on the couch, but it went behind Y/n’s shoulder, it was like he was putting his arm around her shoulder. ‘’I mean, Y/n what would you do?’’ Drew asked. ‘’Uh, just enjoy the dinner, it’s a date, have fun! And you have Austin to save you. Or Callum and I could go at the restaurant in disguise, in a fake date, to help you.’’ ‘’Is that just an excuse to take Callum out on a date?’’ Drew teased. Y/n starts to laugh, Callum too. ‘’Moving on!’’ Y/n said, while laughing.

-

But what really sparked the rumor to the max, was when the went to the premiere of Master of the Air. She was dressed in a black one suit, but the top was a black corset, she looked amazing and sexy. The hole cast was looking good, but when Y/n stepped on the carpet, she got out the same car as Callum and they both had red cheeks.

-

‘’Now we saw you getting out of the car with your co-star, but you guys have been really close during the press tour, can you tell me about it’’ The interviewer asked to Y/n. ‘’I mean, he’s an amazing person, and I love him. People are just going crazy over us’’ she said. Callum went to behind her. ‘’What are you talking about, baby?’’ he said. Y/n rolled her eyes at the nickname. But she decided to go along with it. ‘’We were talking about you, honey. About our amazing chemistry’’ she said. They both chuckled and finished the interview. ‘’The internet is going to blow up with what you just said. You’re not very subtle, baby.’’ She said, teasing him. ‘’I mean, we’re pretty obvious now that we’re together’’ he says in her ear. ‘’Should we give the internet what they want?’’ she asks. ‘’I’ve been waiting for this’’ he said, grabbing her waist and kissing her. The crowd yelled when they both kissed, finally announcing their relationship…

[the-upside-down-umbrella]

Partners? Partners.

Five Hargreeves x Fem!Reader

Summary: Y/N Hargreeves, formerly of the Sparrow Academy, finds herself virtually alone in the reset timeline. The Umbrella’s bring her in to their chaos and she builds something new for herself while still navigating the grief of losing her family. She’s happy in the simplicity. That is, until the one Hargreeves she can’t seem to win over comes to her with an offer she might not be able to refuse.

Warnings: Some cursing. Some angst.

(Part 1/?)

A/N: This one will be 4 or 5 parts. A bit of a coffee shop AU if you squint

——————

She missed her family. She missed them so desperately that sometimes when she dreamt of them at night, she would wake up in tears as the loneliness set in and she realized that her dreams were the only place she would see them again. They had been dysfunctional and as far as families go, not that close, but they had been hers. She would never understand how she had survived everything, how she had made it through the reset when the others did not. She technically had Ben but he had distanced himself not just from the Umbrella’s, but from her, as soon as they fell into this timeline. Now he was in prison for a white-collar bitcoin crime and he refused to have visitors altogether. She was well and truly the last of her family.

It got easier with time and she fell into a predictable, mundane routine. For the first time in her life, she was forced to slow down and be a normal human being. No powers. No Sparrow Academy. Just living and surviving.

She found an apartment with a roommate who mostly kept to themselves and a stable, if not a bit boring, job as a barista at a local coffee shop just a block from home. It wasn’t much and some months she was barely scraping by, but it was a start and she was happy.

The other Hargreeves children, the Umbrellas, brought her into the fold of their chaotic family and soon, she began to feel less alone.

She had brunch with Luther every Sunday at his club. They spent that time talking about Sloane, keeping her memory alive between them. She shared her childhood memories of her sister and Luther soaked it all in, grateful to receive any little piece of new information about his wife that he could get. She was thankful for that time with him and happy that someone loved Sloane the way she always deserved to be loved. Even if it was just for a moment.

Diego and Lila had her over for family game night at least once a month and she had coffee with Lila every week at the shop. Their children called her aunt and she made sure that they were properly spoiled, much to their parent's dismay.

She made the trek to Victor’s bar often in the evenings not just for the free drinks, but because he was actually wonderful company and he made sure to carve out time to sit and talk with her whenever he could take a break from running things. Like her, she suspected that he also felt a bit lonely.

Klaus and Allison came as a pair these days. Their dynamic was a sight to behold as Klaus navigated his newfound sobriety, and Allison pulled together a life doing what she loved, to support her daughter. She loved being around them.

But there was one particular family member that Y/N could not quite figure out.

Five.

Apart from their initial interaction at Sloane and Luther’s wedding where he had drunkenly accosted her about her powers, he had barely acknowledged her existence. While she was building relationships with his other siblings, he kept her at arm's length. Sure, he was cordial with her at family events and dinners, but that’s where he drew the line. He rebuffed every attempt she made at finding a connection with him.

That is until he started showing up every morning at the coffee shop she worked at. The same time every morning and the same, predictable order.

The first time he walked through the door she was taken aback. She knew he lived on the other side of town but she chalked it up to some work thing bringing him there.

He made his order, indulged her in small talk, and sat down, opening up a newspaper to read while he sipped his coffee.

She thought it was a one-off, but was very surprised when he turned up the next morning at the same time.

And then the morning after that and the morning after that.

He began conversing with her for longer periods of time, asking questions about her day-to-day life after the reset and even sharing some tidbits of information about himself. She knew he worked for the CIA and had recently moved into a new apartment.

A few weeks went by and each day was the same. It reached the point that she would have his coffee made and the donut he liked set aside before he even made it through the door.

But after a while, her curiosity began to get the better of her. Why was he here? Why was he suddenly showing interest in her and what she was doing with her life? It was making her crazy!

“Your black, boring coffee, sir,” Y/N said in the most sugary sweet voice she could muster, setting the cup down in front of the irritating man in front of her.

Five immediately picked it up and took a deep sip, “Fantastic as usual.”

She pulled the chair out across from him and sat down with a huff, “Cut the crap, Five. We both know you have much closer coffee shops to your apartment. Why, may I ask, do you insist on frequenting mine? Is it just to pester me?”

“Maybe I just like your company,” Five shrugged, leaning back to observe her.

This poked at her ire even more. He was always doing that. Just observing her like some sort of animal in an enclosure. Always there at his little table near the window. Rain or shine.

“Oh please!” She scoffed, “You’ve never given any indication that you even like me, let alone enjoy my company. In fact, until you started showing up here every day, I was pretty sure you hated me. So, again, cut the crap and tell me why you’re really here.”

“Fine,” he said, sitting his mug down so that he could give her his full, undivided attention, “I have a proposition for you.”

“This should be good.”

“My boss wants me to take on a partner,” he explained, “but the problem with that is that I don’t really trust…anyone really. But I’ve watched you these last few years, Y/N, and I know that you’re smart, analytical, and incredibly sharp. Your powers fine-tuned all of your senses and even if you don’t have them anymore, that’s still there. And that’s what I want in a partner.”

“Five, I’m not even trained to work for the CIA,” she reminded him, “I’m sure they’re not going to just let some random person join ranks without experience.”

“But you do have experience,” he insisted, “you’re a Sparrow. You’ve literally been trained since birth to be a fighter, a spy, or whatever else Dad needed us to be.”

“Need I remind you that neither the sparrows nor the umbrellas existed in this timeline? So none of that is going to mean jack shit to anyone.”

“It will if I forge a few documents,” he said, leaning forward so that he could get a clear look at her, “How do you think I got this far looking this young? I’ll do the same for you and everyone will think you’re an FBI transfer. They’ll be none the wiser. Trust me, not everyone high up is as smart as they’d like to think they are.”

She doubted anyone was that stupid.

“Five, this might come as a surprise to you, but I actually really like my life here,” she told him, “it’s peaceful and easy and I don’t really need any more than that. After so long of fighting and striving for perfection for the Sparrows, I’m ready to just settle down and live slowly. So, thanks, but I think I’ll pass.”

“You say that,” he chuckled, “you say that you want peace and quiet but I know that’s just something you tell yourself. Because I’ve told myself the same thing and it didn’t suit me. But let’s face it, you’re as unhinged as me. You NEED the chaos. You thrive on it.”

“You’re really not doing yourself any favors here, Five,” she hissed. “Besides, why me? Why haven’t you asked Diego? Hasn’t he been bugging you about bringing in his resume? Make him your partner.”

“Diego and Lila have enough going on in their lives,” he waved her off, “And Diego is a skilled fighter but he lacks in the brains department. Trust me.”

With that final statement, Five stood up and pushed in his chair before downing the last dredges of his coffee, “Just think about it, okay? And until then, I’ll be here every day, as usual. No one makes a cup of coffee quite like you.”

With a wink he left her sitting at the table alone, wondering why on earth she was actually considering his offer.

[literaryvein-reblogs]

more words for worldbuilding: time (pt. 4)

attribute of duration: ad infinitum, all-time, annual, brief, chronic, concise, constant, continuous, endless, eternal, evanescent, everlasting, fleeting, for keeps, immortal, indefinitely, interminable, laconic, lifelong, long, long-standing, momentary, never-ending, old, ongoing, perennial, perpetual, running, short, short-lived, steady, through, timeless, transient/transitory, unbroken, undying, unflagging, unrelenting, whirlwind

attribute of time: actual, afterward/afterwards, almost, antediluvian, at, behind the times, colonial, concurrent, dilatory, due, early, ever, extemporaneous or extemporary, felicitous, foremost, for keeps, forward, from scratch, gradually, hence, hurried, initial, instantly, irregular, just about, lastly, later, leisurely, meanwhile, narrowly, next, nocturnal, old-fashioned, once and for all, on the double, overdue, pell-mell, perpetual, posthaste, preceding, precipitous/precipitate, previous, primarily, primary/prime, primitive, pristine, promptly, quickly, rapidly, right, sharp, simultaneous, sudden, summarily, swiftly/swift, temporal, thereafter, ultimate, untimely, up-to-date, while, yet

date: anniversary

day: afternoon, anniversary, date, ephemeral, journal, morning, nightly, noon, time

definite period: date, furlough, instant, midnight, noon, sabbatical, shift

division of: day, second

duration: brevity, continuation, endure, extent, halt, remain

frequency: rapidity, sometimes

hour: afternoon, morning, noon, time

indefinite period: age, anytime, bout, breath, convenience, eon, era, future, hiatus, infinity, interlude, interruption, lapse, leisure, lull, millenium, moment, past, period, recess, respite, round, semester, space, spell, stint, suspension, tour, vacation, while

minute: flash, jiffy, tick, wink

month: almanac, gestation, moon, time

part of a day: afternoon, dawn, daybreak, dusk, gloom, morning, nightfall, sunset, twilight

past or future: following, past, previous, succeeding/successive

proximity: immediate, now, succeeding/successive

relative order: follow, succeed

season: autumn, spring, summer, winter

specific: anniversary, date, daybreak, instance, point, yesterday, zero hour

stage of existence: administration, childhood, day, generation, millenium, phase, stage, tenure

stage of life form: adolescence, babyhood, cradle, landmark, lifetime, maternity, prime, spell, youth

temporal association: anachronism, dispatch, eternity, following, haste, past, precedence, previous, rush, succeeding/successive

temporal object: anytime, time

time relative to present: abaft, after, ahead, amid/amidst, antecedent, back, beforehand, belated, bygone, coincident, current, destined, during, ensuing, eventual, fated, first, fore, former, forthwith, historical, immediately, impending, infant/infantile, just, momentarily, nearing, newly, once, present, previous, prior, recent, shortly, soon, subsequent, succeeding/successive, ultimate, until, yet

unit of time measure: day, minute, wink

within a time period: epoch, interval, semester, spell, stretch, while

year: almanac, annual, time, yearly

NOTE

Excerpted from Roget's 21st Century Thesaurus, Updated and Expanded 3rd Edition, in Dictionary Form, edited by The Princeton Language Institute.

The above are concepts classified according to subject and usage. It not only helps writers and thinkers to organize their ideas but leads them from those very ideas to the words that can best express them.

It was, in part, created to turn an idea into a specific word. By linking together the main entries that share similar concepts, the index makes possible creative semantic connections between words in our language, stimulating thought and broadening vocabulary.

Source ⚜ Writing Basics & Refreshers ⚜ On Vocabulary ⚜ Writing Resources PDFs

[lilyprettyremy]

How to Get Out of a Reading Slump:

Let’s be real—reading slumps happen to the best of us. One day you’re devouring novels like snacks, and the next, the thought of picking up a book feels like climbing a mountain. But don’t worry, this isn’t permanent! Here’s how you can reignite your love for reading with practical advice (and a little personal touch).

1. Start Small and Easy

Sometimes, the thought of diving into a big, heavy novel can feel overwhelming. Instead, reach for something light, fun, or even familiar. What Worked for Me: When I hit a slump, I re-read my favorite childhood book. The nostalgia pulled me in, and before I knew it, I was back in the reading groove.

Try This:

A novella, poetry collection, or short story.

A feel-good romance or an easy thriller that keeps you hooked.

2. Switch Formats

Who says reading has to be on paper? Shake things up with audiobooks, eBooks, or graphic novels. Sometimes, a new format is all you need to make stories exciting again. What I Loved: Listening to an audiobook while walking felt like having a friend tell me a story. It’s low-pressure and immersive.

Try This:

Download an audiobook for your commute or chores.

Explore comics or manga—they’re visually engaging and quick to finish.

3. Create a Cozy Reading Ritual

Make reading feel like a treat, not a task. Set the scene: grab a warm drink, snuggle up in a cozy blanket, and turn reading into a moment of self-care. What Helps Me: I light a candle, sip some tea, and read for just 15 minutes. Even if I don’t feel like continuing, I’ve created a moment of peace for myself.

4. Ditch the Guilt

If a book isn’t grabbing your attention, it’s okay to put it down! Life’s too short to force yourself through something you’re not enjoying. What I Do: I keep a “second chance” stack of books I didn’t finish but might come back to later. It takes the pressure off and lets me move on guilt-free.

Pro Tip: Give yourself permission to stop at any time. The right book will find you when you’re ready.

5. Set the Mood with Your TBR

Sometimes a slump happens because you’re not in the mood for what you’ve been reading. Change it up with books that match your current vibe. My Recent Trick: When I wanted cozy, wintery vibes, I picked up a snow-filled mystery, and it fit the season perfectly. It felt like I was part of the story.

Try This:

If it’s cold, go for a winter romance or mystery.

Feeling adventurous? Pick up a fast-paced fantasy.

6. Buddy Up

Reading doesn’t have to be a solo activity. Share the experience with someone who loves books as much as you do. What Worked for Me: My friend and I read the same book and texted each other our reactions. It made the whole process so much fun, and we got to geek out together.

Pro Tip: Join a book club, even if it’s online! Goodreads or apps like Fable make it easy to connect with other readers.

7. Take the Pressure Off

Sometimes, we fall into slumps because we set unrealistic expectations for ourselves. Forget about reading “x” number of books or finishing by a certain date—just read what you love. My Perspective: I stopped tracking my reading goals for a while and focused on enjoying the stories. That shift in mindset made all the difference.

8. Revisit Your Why

Ask yourself: Why do you love reading? Is it the escape, the knowledge, the way stories make you feel? Reconnecting with that "why" can reignite your passion. 💡 What I Remind Myself: Reading isn’t a chore—it’s a gift. When I focus on that, it stops feeling like something I “should” do and starts feeling like something I want to do.

9. Explore a Different Genre

If you’ve been stuck in the same genre, it might be time for a change. Trying something new can surprise you and pull you right back in. My Experiment: I went from contemporary fiction to fantasy and felt like I’d rediscovered the magic of reading all over again.

Pro Tip: Ask for recommendations in genres you don’t usually explore!

10. Go Easy on Yourself

At the end of the day, slumps happen. Don’t stress about it—it’s just a phase. The books will always be there when you’re ready. My Advice: Take it slow, experiment, and most importantly, enjoy the journey. Sometimes, stepping away from reading for a little while can also recharge your love for it.

Getting out of a reading slump is all about finding what sparks your interest again—whether it’s a cozy atmosphere, a gripping audiobook, or a change of genres. Be patient with yourself, and remember, it’s not about the number of books you read but the joy you find in them. So go ahead, grab that book, and take it one page at a time. You’ve got this!

[deliciousangelfestival]

Guilt

Character: Mob!Bucky x Police!Female Reader

Summary: "Of all the women in the world, does she have to be a cop?" Bucky, a gangster, fell in love at first sight with a policewoman.

At the golf course, two outstanding men in the mob world are playing golf together to have a quiet time, to forget the worst day at the club they owned.

Steve, the second person in charge, still feels frustrated, while Bucky, the leader, is the only one enjoying the game.

"Of all the women in the world, does she have to be a cop?" Steve, his childhood friend, asked as he watched Bucky hit the golf ball.

Bucky clenched his fist in frustration as he made the shot. Turning to Steve, he replied, "I can't help it. She just took my breath away the first time I saw her."

Steve sighed, recalling the first encounter between Bucky and the policewoman when their club was unexpectedly visited by the narcotics police force.

Steve sighed, "She's known as a scary person, even among her colleagues," he said, relaying what he had learned from his connections.

"And from what happened last night, I feel like she holds a big grudge against people like us," Steve continued, reflecting on the recent events. Most of the cops he knew turned a blind eye to their business dealings, never getting involved with drugs.

Bucky remembered how composed you had been last night, effortlessly throwing punches and giving orders to make arrests. He even recalled the moment you pushed him to the ground and handcuffed him.

At that instant, he knew you were different from other women.

Bucky took another swing at the golf ball, causing it to fly too far. With a smile, he declared, "I will make her mine."

Steve sighed deeply, realizing that once Bucky had made up his mind, no one could stop him.

As Bucky began his courtship, he tried various approaches to get closer to you:

1. He sent you flowers with cryptic notes, hinting at his admiration and interest.

2. Bucky strategically positioned himself at events where you were present, making sure to catch your eye without being too obvious.

3. He orchestrated chance encounters, bumping into you at coffee shops or restaurants, always ready with a charming smile and a casual conversation starter.

4. He even went as far as anonymously sending you a gifts or helpful tips related to your work, trying to show his support and understanding of your profession.

But you didn't give any reaction; you consistently ignored him.

Bucky didn't mind your game of "playing hard to get." He was confident that in the end, you couldn't resist him.

However, his confidence wavered when you finally spoke to him, your words cutting through the air like icy daggers. "In 2022, Bobby Smith died because of a gunshot. He was my fiancé."

Bucky's face drained of color, his body going rigid with shock. The revelation hit him like a sledgehammer, the weight of guilt crashing down upon him. His mind raced as he realized the implication: Bobby Smith's death was because of him.

After the revelation, would Bucky give up his pursuit, or would he persist despite the overwhelming guilt?

[harmoonix]

ETHEREAL ASTROLOGY OBSERVATIONS ✧✧✧

──────⊱◈◈◈⊰──────

- I thought I could protect you

- From paying for my sins -

──────⊱◈◈◈⊰──────

✧ Natives with the Sun in the 8th/12th houses are born with spiritual gifts, they could be either hearing or seeing things from their childhood/having paranormal activity around them since they were kids

✧ Natives with Venus in Cancer/4th house or at Cancer Degrees (4°, 16°, 28°) are damn protective over their family, family can mean anything for them. These people function around love and safety in their families

✧ Natives with Ascendant - Neptune can experience day dreaming or just can Imagine things in their head a lot and to create scenarios in their head + extremely spiritual people

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

The scars and the wounds

I wear them proud like tattoos

Reminds me that I lost you

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

✧ Natives with Pluto - Venus aspects can get jealous and overprotective often in their love relationships, touch their partners and you end up in heaven or hell based on how angry they are 🤣

✧ Natives with the north node in Cancer/ North node in the 4th house or north node at Cancer Degrees (4°, 16°, 28°) need the embody the 4th house traits in this lifetime in order to complete their karmic debts (4th house related things: house, home, family, safety, household, relationships with mother) 🤍🌼

✧ Natives with north node in Sagittarius/North node in the 9th house or north node at Sagittarius degrees (9°, 21°) need to be more spiritual in order to complete their karmic debts, be spiritual, connect with spirituality ❤️

✧ The bigger sibling in the family it will always have Capricorn, Aquarius, Scorpio or Pisces placements in their chart (Additional highly Pluto/Saturn aspected in chart)

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Nothing's lost, no more pain

Just give me strength

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

✧ Venus - Moon aspects can be really sacrificial like they are ready to give their soul for the people they love...they are so sweet deserve hugs 100x

✧ Having Saturn in the 4th, 6th, 7th or 8th house can represent loyalty for their partners and in their love relationships, these natives are really loyal

✧ Moon in Libra/Pisces/Cancer/Taurus - Venus loves these signs, how does it fall to be Venus's fav? You are gifted with love and beauty

✧ Venus or Moon in the 3rd/4th or 5th houses can connect deeply with their siblings (if they have), they can get along well and this is giving supporting eachother vibes

✧ Venus in Aquarius/11th house/Venus at Aquarius Degrees (11°, 23°) and their appealing at attracting people is insane, they always have people around them or people who have so much interest in them

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

My love for you is greater than their powers

And their armies from above

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

✧ Moon in the 8th house/Moon in the 6th house/Moon in the 12th houses are very karmic to have, they can often experience challenges in their everyday life

✧ Ceres (1) in Water Signs and their nurturing with the earth is actually so powerful, having Ceres in Water Signs is confirmed at having a deep nurturing energy ❤️

✧ Ceres in harsh aspects with the Ascendant need so much nurturing to themselves and so much selflove, try to remind yourself everyday how amazing and beautiful you are ❤️

✧ Capricorn and Leo placements often have a golden heart no matter what, they are kind and generous with people, they are respectable

✧ Moon in aspects with Mercury gives gifts related to music,art,poetry,acting and vocally having a very cute voice in general, they might also speak soft or shy

✧ Saturn - Moon aspects can often get into sad moods or just nostalgic moods for some reasons, they can remember some things that happened in the past clearly and remembered them with joy or sadness

✧ Having family issues? Try to talk with someone with Saturn Cancer/Saturn in the 4th house either Saturn at Cancer Degrees (4°, 16°, 28°) they know what you can go through

✧ Why does Taurus/Libra Sun/Ascendant/Moon gives so warm energy?? They are so gracious and beautiful beings, Venus energy was always felt like a warm hug to me

✧ Why do Scorpio and Aries placements give hot vibes so much?? like they are hot without any effort and still showing it to world like is so easy

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Be living this life so patient

Until I see you again, it's war we're facing

I know that if I die, my only choice is still

defending

No matter what they say

My love for you is greater than their powers

And their armies from above

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

✧ Sagittarius Placements are always so funny to hang out with, I love them so much because of their positive and optimistic energy, they are so supporting aswell (Seems Sag Placements are underatted when it comes to good things and I don't like it at all...they are amazing)

✧ Why does Mercury in Water Signs have such beautiful voices??? They are embodying the mermaids orrrrr?? Really pretty voices i love to hear especially Pisces Mercury OMG

✧ On the other hand Mercury in Fire signs are gonna be more fierce and loudly, they love to talk loud and to LAUGH omg their laughs are hilarious, though you know they can be so brutally honest sometimes?? It happens so random like 😭😭

(✧ realising this is one of the most beautiful photos of Neytiri ever 😭 she is so MAJESTIC❤️)

✧ 12th house placements and Pisces placements have always been attracted to these mythical/mythical things especially Sun in the 12th house or Pisces (They are feeling like home here)

✧ While on the other hand 11th house Sun or Sun in Aquarius have been attracted to the unseen things or different things than the rest of the people, something that their soul finds unique, especially something that makes them wonder even more

✧ Sun/Moon/Venus in the 9th house love exploring everything they meet, cultures, ancient things, vintage, books, myths anything that makes their heart to spark they are precious love them so much ❤️😭

(Omg y'all can't imagine my face when I saw this scene again after so many years THIS IS EVERYTHING 🥹🥹)

✧ Virgo/Aquarius and Taurus placements and their love for nature?? I know so many people with these placements who are obsessed with nature, they love the nature around them even a little flower can be seen as a gift from mother nature I love them so much ❤️❤️❤️

✧ Gemini/Libra and Capricorn placements and their love for ancient things or ancient related stuff is actually so pure😭❤️ I know dear people to me with such placements who sometimes talk about ancient things happening in ancient times and everytime I hear them It makes my heart to smile ❤️💞

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

And I've been walking this earth long enough

That death's a gift

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

✧ Moon aspecting the ascendant is one of my favorite aspects to look for, in a birth chart (I'm a selenophile so I love everything that is related to the moon), the native can be very spiritual, sensitive, emotional and even to have watery eyes or very pretty eyes 👀

✧ Sun aspecting the Moon is very powerful in my opinion to have in a birth chart because of the 2 luminaries aspecting together makes it more unique, the native can have a very moody personality with these aspects, they can be intuitive, aware of their emotions and pretty changeable to everything

✧ Moon - Pluto aspects can feel when something doesn't sit right or when something is wrong, they have pretty powerful emotions and an very intuitive mind

✧ Gemini Moons/Gemini in Moon Degrees (3°, 15°, 27°) love to communicate, love to socialize, they are the type of people who give you the ✨tea✨,meaning that they have the news about everything

✧ Scorpio and Capricorn Moons or Moon in Scorp and Cap degrees (8°,10°,20°, 22°) are very loyal people,.they keep it loyal til their last breath. they are so loyal and precious 💞

✧ Pisces/Libra Venus/Moon natives are the type of people who can give the best advices when it comes to relationships because they could've experienced this things before others and know how to go trough them

✧ Aries/Sagittarius Venus/Moon love to get sneaky and tricky when they met someone they like, they can even end up teasing the people they like in some situations 👀, they are having this fun energy to hang out with

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

✧A V A T A R✧

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

✧ A good welcome for everyone coming to read my notes 🤍 didn't post for some days and now it is time for a new post 💞 this one is inspired with Avatar/Pandoran themes, i love them so so so much. 💞I'm not gonna lie I think this post is one of my most favorite posts ever because of the work and the aesthetic I put it in 💞 + my love for it . I GOT chills all over when I wrote this post ✨ Hope everyone reading my notes has a good day full of love and warm energy ✨

"Oel ngati kameie" - I see you 💞💞💞💞

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

[youremyheaven]

Rahu & Ketu: Abuse & Addiction

TW: drug overdose, death, suicide, abuse, childhood abuse

Nodal influence can be very destabilising and intoxicating. They're opposites but as they say the extremes of anything is a meeting point for it's opposite, so Rahu & Ketu share many similarities.

Rahu & Ketu are both shadow planets, Rahu is the head whereas Ketu is the tail. This in itself reveals much about the nature of the two. Rahu is over immersed in the world whereas Ketu is completely cut off from it.

When I say Rahu is over immersed/over stimulated, I don't mean they're profoundly connected to reality, I mean the opposite, they're deeply immersed in Maya/illusion that they often have no sense of reality. Rahu is the head, imagine if you lived in your head all the time? You'd be in your own la la land, disconnected from what is actually happening around you. This is Rahu energy. Without your body, you cannot use your senses, you cannot fully feel alive or experience reality. Rahu being the head means you're cut off from what is "real". You only live in your head and what happens in your head is very subjective and completely illusory.

They are so deeply immersed in an illusory world. This can manifest as substance addiction, video gaming, fame, material success, internet addiction, overly obsessed with "binging" content, maladaptive daydreaming etc, any experience that disconnects you from what is "real" and immerses you in something that feels very real but isn't real. Both Rahu and Ketu people suffer from addiction, Claire had mentioned that Nodal influence can make someone prone to addiction but why Rahu and Ketu are addicted tend to be very different. Rahu is overstimulated, they always need more of everything. There are people who spend 10 hours a day just watching YouTube videos or IG reels or whatever, that's because they need that much stimulation, since they live in their heads. Their minds need that kind of fodder to thrive off of. Once you start using any kind of substance, your brain builds a tolerance for it and you have to start using higher and higher doses to get the same high. When a Rahu native accumulates wealth, they start indulging in it but nothing is ever enough. They never feel "full", they don't have that fuse in their brain that flares up and says "this is enough". Basically they never know when to stop, they just keep going and going and going with anything they immerse themselves in. People play video games for 3-4 days straight without leaving their game set up. They don't ever feel satisfied. This is scary because "feeling full" is our brain's way of asking us to stop. Without that mechanism, we would overindulge and overdo everything which is what these natives do.

This is also why relationships are so tricky for Nodal people. They give too much and immerse themselves to the point where it's detrimental to the relationship. You either feel like you're losing part of yourself to it or the other person feels like you're consuming their energy too much (which makes them feel drained). Moderation does not exist for Nodal people either they're completely detached or they're completely obsessed.

Its similar to Jupiter energy in the sense that Jupiter is also very expansive and has the ability to immerse itself in everything and give so much but Jupiter has other principles that firmly ground it in reality as it is not a shadow planet like Rahu. It is not suspended in an illusion, Jupiter natives give so much or do so much because they have the internal space to do so, not out of a tendency to immerse themselves in Maya/illusion. Jupiter is the opposite, they see through Maya and find it hard to consciously part take in it.

Taylor Swift- Ardra Moon

She works harder than anybody in the biz. Her concerts are like 3 hours long and she does like 40-50 shows on average. She's ALWAYS doing THE most. She releases a new album every 2 years or so, has other projects etc this is a positive manifestation of Rahu energy because it allows you to be deeply immersed in your craft and your world but it also means you live in a bubble and you are cut off from "real life".

Ketu is the tail, it is cut off from reality and feels profoundly disconnected to reality. It is hard for these natives to feel like they relate to anything. This is why Ketuvians struggle with addiction. They use substances because they want to feel something, want to feel tethered, want to feel connected. They have to use higher doses because it helps them feel heightened emotions when they usually don't feel anything at all.

Ketu is connected to spirituality because natives who feel disconnected from the real world to this extent find it easier to immerse themselves in the occult and in esoterica. It is more abstract and requires you to think non-logically, i.e, experientially, but this is something Ketuvians have a hard time with, they themselves feel very "abstract" or like they aren't real or don't exist, so while they're intrinsically drawn to the esoteric, they feel untethered/ungrounded by immersing themselves in it too much. They need something they can cling to, they need something solid that they can attach themselves to.

All Rahuvian nakshatras belong to the Shudra caste, specifically the Butcher caste, this is very interesting because Shudra is the lowest caste (Mleccha is "outcaste" which means it exists outside the system entirely), to be Rahuvian means to operate on the lowest level. Butchers have to slaughter meat to make a living, that is unpleasant and brutal work, and only if they are disconnected from it can they keep doing it. They cannot be too focused on what they actually do because then it will be hard for them to do their tasks. They're not repulsed by it because they're disconnected from it.

2/3 Ketuvian naks are also Shudra caste whereas Ashwini is the only Ketu nak that is upper caste as it is a Vaishya nak.

(table by me hehe)

Rahuvian naks are found in all 3 ganas (Swati is deva gana, Ardra is manushya gana, Shatabhisha is rakshasa gana)

2/3 Ketuvian naks are Rakshasa gana (Mula, Magha) with only Ashwini being a Deva gana nak

I feel like Ketuvians are always made to feel like the bad guy / people villainize them a lot. They're the "ugly ducklings" who have to "win" approval as they're never accepted for who they are.

Rahu needs to immerse itself in something because its sensory perception is limited and they need to really indulge to grasp what is "real". Its very common for people with heavy Rahuvian or Rahu in a malefic placement to experience hallucinations or feel like their grip on reality is very thin.

Ketu has nothing perceive with at all. Its like being completely lost in the shadows or the dark. There's no perception taking place at all, it makes the natives inwardly drawn because its truly hard for them to absorb from their surroundings unlike Rahu which absorbs easily and fully. Rahu is over immersed whereas Ketu lacks immersion at all.

Lets look at the yoni animals of Rahu & Ketu naks respectively

Rahu: Ardra -dog yoni, Shatabhisha- horse yoni, Swati-buffalo yoni

Ketu: Magha-rat yoni, Mula- dog yoni, Ashwini-horse yoni

one common theme is that all these animals are abused, mistreated and exploited

(rats are the go to animal for lab testing, dogs are valued for their loyalty and are at the mercy of their owners, horses are made to endure so much labour, buffalos are farm animals)

all of these animals are also associated with dirt/filth in some way or another which is perhaps why people with Nodal influence often have a dishevelled appearance. They're bad at taking care of themselves.

Both horse yoni & dog yoni are divided among Rahu & Ketu naks whereas the yoni consort for Swati is Hasta (Moon ruled) and Magha is Purvaphalguni (Venus ruled).

Horses are very strong but very fragile animals. They start walking almost immediately after birth, they sleep standing up but they require a lot of attention and care as their health tends to be very fragile. Even though horses are associated with working hard, its not exactly innately part of their nature, it's just that they've been domesticated into being that way. It represents a very powerful active energy, as horses can be highly temperamental and unpredictable.

Dog yoni on the other hand, makes a person very needy and eager to please others. Dogs depend on the affection of their owners and without it they feel unhappy. Both these nakshatras have obsessive tendencies and a people pleasing nature. They're also two nakshatras who endure abuse the most.

I've noticed that a lot of people tend to have both nodes in their chart and I wonder what its like to house such contradictions. On one hand you're extremely involved, on the other, you're supremely detached.

The entertainment industry is one where people with Nodal influence really thrive but also often, self-destruct themselves. Its immensely hard to balance these energies since Rahu heightens whatever is in it, the way Jupiter expands whatever it touches. Both planets make you feel manic but in different ways.

Addiction is the result of an overactive nervous system and a coping mechanism. Ketu feels cut off from society/life/the world so in order to feel connected, it over indulges. Rahu needs something that will help them fully lose themselves, idk if I'm explaining it properly but you know how the best movies you've watched are the ones where you feel like you were in them experiencing those things with the characters? Its like that

There is an unhappy pattern of Rahu & Ketu influenced people being abused, I have especially noted this among child actors but also others.

Taylor Momsen- Swati Moon

Her parents signed her up with Ford Modeling when she was just 2 years old. "No 2-year-old wants to be working, but I had no choice. My whole life, I was in and out of school. I didn't have friends. I was working constantly and I didn't have a real life."

This theme of not experiencing "real life" or reality is very prominent in the lives of Rahuvian and Ketuvian people. It can be interpreted in many ways according to the context but there is always a sense of being deprived of what was "normal" or "real" as a result of which these natives had to live in their imagination or indulge in other things.

Like the child star who worked their whole life playing other people (acting is very Rahuvian) or the loner kid who spends all their time immersed in movies or video games because that feels more "real" to them.

Fame is also an inherently Rahuvian experience bc it's an illusion & a prison.

Judy Garland- Ardra Rising, Mula Moon

She was emotionally abused and controlled by her mother who got her addicted to drugs by the time she was a teenager. She was also sexually abused by the studio executives she worked with. Judy had a very tough life.

Aaron Carter, Ardra Moon, Mula Rising

Aaron Carter claimed that as a teen musician, his family spent $500 million of his money on 15 houses and 30 cars. He claimed that when his parents sold the houses, he didn't get a cut of the profits. He also alleged that his dad shot a .44 magnum near his ear — which resulted in him going 70% deaf in one ear — to force him into signing a $256,000 check.

Being heavily tattooed (more examples at the end of this post) is also a very Nodal thing to do.

He unfortunately passed away in 2022 from an accidental drug overdose. This is also a very unfortunate pattern among Nodal celebrities.

Macaulay Culkin- Shatabhisha Moon, Magha Sun & Mercury

 Macaulay Culkin's father Kit managed him during his childhood career. Macaulay has shared that his father was controlling and had him on a very busy filming schedule in the early '90s. He added his father made him stay up every night to study the lines he would have to say the next day. Macaulay asserted that his father was "such a crazy person" that he forced him to do SNL without cue cards when he hosted the show at 11 years old. Macaulay has explained that he felt his father was jealous of him because “everything he tried to do in his life I excelled at before I was 10 years old.”When Macaulay stopped acting after his 1994 movie Richie Rich, he told his parents, “I’m done, guys — hope you all made your money because there is no more coming from me.”His parents were never married and after he stopped acting, his mother filed for custody. Macaulay ended up taking his parents to court to stop them from controlling his $17 million in earnings. Since then, he and his father have been estranged.

I feel like the "child star gone wild" is a trope meant specifically for Nodal people

Keke Palmer, Magha Sun & Mercury, Mula Moon

Palmer shared on IG:

"Due to traveling and scheduling both of my parents had to stop working to support my career and be present for my three siblings, leaving me with the financial responsibility around age 12. Which I took great pride in because I knew what it would do for generations to come and a huge blessing that I could even help out. However it caused me a lot of pain because I essentially had to abandon my childhood feelings and desires, becoming like a parentalized child, which is something some of you can probably relate to in your own way. This was something that I have had to continuously work through because I am grateful but often feel like.. I missed “IT”. Life can be such a tragic comedy because how funny is it.. that now becoming an actual parent, and the responsibility I’ve always carried being more valid now than ever, has in fact given me the chance to feel what it’s like to be a kid again, I get a chance to explore a lot of the things I missed out on with my son, His freedom is like, the most priceless gift to me. He is already teaching me so much, it’s like he awakened the little me inside that I thought was long gone."

Ketu dominance = being your own parent, being neglected by your family or having to be your parent's parent.

Michael Jackson, Magha Sun & Mercury, Shatabhisha Rising

From a young age Jackson was physically and mentally abused by his father, enduring incessant rehearsals, whippings and name-calling. Jackson's abuse as a child affected him throughout his grown life. reading about the lives of the Jackson siblings and how severely they were all abused is very perspective altering and sad

Mary Kate & Ashley Olsen, Magha Moon, Ashlesha Rising (inc the ashlesha placement bc its another nak often subject to control and abuse)

“With what we were doing in business when we were younger, I don’t think it ever felt like we were actresses,” Mary-Kate “Because we spend so much more of our time not in front of the cameras, building a brand. Ashley agreed, saying: “I always looked at myself, even as a kid, as a business woman.” Mary-Kate said she wouldn't wish her childhood on anyone, and said she felt like a "monkey performer." 

they quit acting in the mid 2000s and rarely make public appearances and god only knows what they endured in the business bc neither of them will talk about it.

Sarah Michelle Geller, Ashwini Sun conjunct Ketu, Shatabhisha Moon

Sarah herself enjoyed the path she'd ended up on, she has rules in place for her own daughter. Recalling the "industry abuses" she experienced as a teenager in Hollywood, she said she hoped she'd "set up a safety net for these actors that I didn't have," but that she and husband Freddie Prinze Jr. have "rules in place" that mean daughter Charlotte "can't be in front of a camera until she graduates high school."

Kylie Jenner, Swati Moon

Kylie started appearing on her family's reality show when she was 10

In 2016, she told her sister Kim in an episode of the show: "I feel like I've had anxiety for too long. I feel too much, I care too much, I read too much. Some people are born for this life and some people aren’t. I just know I’m not supposed to be famous.” in an old IG post she said: "I’m proud of myself, my heart, and my strength. Growing up in the light with a million eyes on you just isn’t normal. I’ve lost friends along the way and I’ve lost myself too sometimes. My first tattoo was 'sanity' to remind myself everyday to keep it. I’ve struggled with anxiety my whole young adult life." "I know I don't want to be famous forever. There's gonna be a time where I feel comfortable, I'm at a good place in my life, and I just stop."

Natalie Wood, Ashwini Moon

The late Natalie Wood was forced into acting by her mother, Maria, who missed her chance to become a performer and instead focussed her efforts on pushing her daughters to stardom.

While young Natalie had a natural talent for performing, it seemed that her reason for going to movie sets was more to please her mother than to quench any desire of her own. 

Bella Thorne, Mula Moon

"I was sexually abused and physically growing up from the day I can remember till I was 14. When I finally had the courage to lock my door at night and sit by it. All damn night." She has also stated that she only started acting as a child to support her family.

Drew Barrymore, Shatabhisha Sun

 Drew's mother took her to clubs and allowed her access to drugs and alcohol, ultimately leading to her institutionalization at the age of 13, and emancipating herself at 14. Drew described fame at such a young age as "a recipe for disaster."

Edith Piaf, Mula Sun & Mercury, Magha Mars

Born in Paris practically on the streets, she struggled from day one, the daughter of street performers. The mother, a singer, eventually abandoned both Edith and her father for a solo career. Piaf spent her youth entertaining passers-by, receiving little formal education in the process. She often accompanied her father's acrobat street act with her singing and at various times was forced to live with various relatives, in alleys or in cheap hotels. An aborted love affair left her with a baby girl at age 17, but little Marcelle died of meningitis at 2 years old. Devastated, Piaf returned to the streets she knew, now performing solo. Her fortunes finally changed when an impresario, Louis Leplee, mesmerized by what he heard, offered the starving but talented urchin a contract. He alone was responsible for taking her off the streets at age 20 and changing her name from Edith Gassion to "La Mome Piaf" (or "Kid Sparrow"). Piaf grew in status entertaining in elegant cafés and cabarets and became a singing sensation amid the chic French society with her throbbing vocals and raw, emotional power. From 1936, Piaf recorded many albums and eventually became one of the highest paid stars in the world.

Later in life she became an addict and died in poverty at the age of 47.

Brittany Murphy, Swati Moon & Venus

she was a child star who was managed by her controlling mom. she battled with eating disorders and drug addiction. rip britt.

Justin Bieber, Shatabhisha Sun conjunct Saturn

Justin shot to fame at a very young age and was severely exploited by his management/everybody around him

Now here are some heavily tatted celebs and their placements

L to R

Rihanna- Shatabhisha Sun

Paris Jackson- Ardra Moon

Cheryl Cole- Ardra Sun & Mars, Shatabhisha Moon

Demi Lovato- Magha Sun

Jungkook- Magha Moon, Mula Rising

Ruby Rose- Swati Rising

Machine Gun Kelly- Ashwini Sun

The 27 club refers to a phenomenon where several musicians have died by age 27, many from an overdose. Unfortunately many of them have Nodal influence.

Brian Jones- Shatabhisha Sun

Jimi Hendrix- Mula Rising

Amy Winehouse- Mula Moon

Kurt Cobain- Shatabhisha Sun, Ardra Moon,

Janis Joplin- Ardra Moon, Mula Mars, Asc conjunct Ketu (in Dhanishta)

Jim Morrison- Ketu conjunct Rising (in Shravana)

several other celebrities who have died from overdoses also tend to have prominent Nodal influence

John Belushi- Mula Rising

Phillip Seymour Hoffman- Mercury in Ardra 2h, Mars conjunct Ketu in Swati

Prince- Shatabhisha Moon, Ketu in Ashwini

Whitney Houston- Shatabhisha Rising

River Phoenix- Magha Sun conjunct Ketu, Swati Ascendant conjunct Jupiter

Elvis Presley- Shatabhisha Moon

Margaux Hemingway- Ashwini Rising

Nodal planets are shadow planets and it can be very difficult for these natives to manage this energy as it is energy without a source, Rahu & Ketu don't have physical form or existence, that is a lot of uncontrolled energy to possess within yourself. Many people turn to spirituality and other esoteric sources and good Rahu & Ketu influence is vital and necessary to study or gain access to gnosis, study astrology or other occult matters but when this energy is imbalanced in their chart, these natives are more prone to self-destruction than any other planetary dominance simply because the unbridled energy is impossible to contain and requires some kind of coping mechanism. I have dated several Nodal men and they all dealt with varying degrees of addiction to varying substances and they all spoke about "wanting to feel more real" or how "nothing feels solid". I will try to focus on the positive manifestations of the Nodes on a future post.

thanks for reading<333

[jjungkookislife]

Quarterly Fic Recs 2024 #4

2024 has come to an end so here are some wonderful fics I enjoyed reading the past few months. I hope you enjoy them and as always please read the warnings of each fic and consider reblogging or commenting on a fic you enjoyed :)

Seokjin

good graces @hueseok

summary: kim seokjin doesn’t believe in luck. he’s someone who knows that in order to have good things coming your way, you have to work damn hard for it. however, that might not be the case when it comes to bad luck, because after a video of him goes viral wherein it looks like he’s screaming at someone’s grandma, he begins thinking maybe luck does exist—and it just so happens that he’s now being subjected to a lot of unluckiness.

got me all messed up @ugh-yoongi

what a line @minisugakoobies

hating you, craving you @yooniivrse

summary: you don’t exactly remember how the man you hate most ended up between your legs, but you’re not complaining.

buy me presents @muniimyg

summary: in which you and your boyfriend, jin, do a gift exchange… you get him a new game console and he gifts you his credit card

oh christmas tree @bangtanfancamp

summary: you’re looking for a fresh start and a Christmas tree when you unintentionally stumble across the worlds most attractive dimples and the sweet, gigantic, bumbling man attached to them

Yoongi

i will always love you @redrose10

minted @kithtaehyung

summary: all you do is wake up, sell your fruit on the dusty streets below your flat, and go to sleep. but everything changes when a customer you always look forward to seeing turns out to be dangerous. really, really dangerous.

a christmas miracle @hongcherry

summary: “The last person Yoongi expected to be at his friend’s party was his childhood best friend, who he had lost contact with over the years but greatly missed.”

blackthorn ch. 16 @sweetestofchaos

summary: Prince Yoongi and Princess Keena have been friends for as long as they can remember. But finding out they’re promised to one another in marriage isn’t the only obstacle they must overcome as war threatens their home.

slipping through my fingers @citrustan

summary: you’ve always thought you had it way too easy. all of a sudden, your life seems to be taking a few unexpected turns. it’s time your luck ran out.

bouquet @yooniivrse

summary: every day with you serves as a reminder that you are, in fact, the best thing that has happened to him

not yet @newmittens

summary: Yoongi’s last fan video call doesn’t go as expected…

Hoseok

grinchly yours @artaefact

summary: Christmas time is around the corner, everyone is celebrating to their heart’s content, but not you. No, you despise Christmas and the joy it brings. That is, until a friendly florist decides to pay your bookstore a visit.

day 5 @minisugakoobies

summary: Your brother’s best friend Hoseok really likes your cookies

two hundred and nineteen days @oddinary4bts

kinktober day eleven @euphoricfilter

home for christmas @augustbutwinter

summary: not being able to go home for the holidays takes a toll on you.

Namjoon

eternal reign @hisunshine

dangerous pairing @hobeemin

summary: they were never meant to be together somehow, their lives intertwined, setting in motion a chain of events that would forever change the course of their lives and the people connected to them.

don't get caught @yoonmetogether

the morning after @7ndipity

summary: Namjoon’s reaction to you waking up sore after a night together.

birthday girl @camixiez

kinktober day 14 @euphoricfilter

Jimin

a lover's redemption @writtenwhalien

summary: Blood, business and betrayal is all that Park Jimin has ever known, but when you cross paths again, the stakes are raised even higher and he finds himself battling his conscience, and his heart.

taste of you @divinelyparkjimin

summary: getting yourself off to your childhood friend’s sexual escapades was definitely not on your radar, but seems like it should’ve been a long time ago.

if only it was you @oddinary4bts

good for you @candlewaxandp0lar0ids

summary: Jimin can’t help the way he drowns himself in you. Why should he anyway?

Taehyung

sweetest thing @liveyun

the holi-date @kpopfanfictrash

summary: When your ex-boyfriend becomes engaged to his new girlfriend at your annual Holiday party, you admittedly are not in the best place. Which explains why you down six shots of alcohol, enthusiastically drop it low on the dance floor and – oh, yeah – tell everyone you are also dating someone. The only problem? You are obviously not. Good thing your neighbor happens to be cute and in need of a ride to work every morning.

candy cane @hamsterclaw

summary: You wake up with your head in Taehyung’s lap, and he shows you how his dick is as sweet as candy.

talk @gukslut

summary: Finals week is kicking your ass, thank goodness you have a friend to help you relieve some stress. It’s a great arrangement, as long as no one finds out... as long as you don’t catch feelings. What could go wrong?

see you @gimmesumsuga

summary: Taehyung notices you at a concert, and can’t help but want to see you again.

between the lines @btsgotjams27

summary: the boy you have a crush on loves to draw between the lines of your notebook.

Jungkook

can I keep you? @mikrokcsmos

sucker for love @jvngkook97

summary: in which your best friend happens to be a vampire and the only time he’s able to be himself in the world is during Halloween night. OR you’ve been in love with your best friend for a long ass time and want him to bite you for a change and not a random person, which for some reason, he refuses to do. they say love hurts, and damn it all that you want it too.

killing me softly ^

summary: you wake up from a night of fun, yet one you barely remember. your vampire bff ghosts you and your past comes to haunt you in the worst way possible. OR they say that blood is thicker than water, but what do you do when the person you trust most turns out to be the monster you’ve always been warned about?

clingy @bonny-kookoo

summary: In which Jungkook is a professional hybrid heat-partner who just wants to do his job

nervous @jeonbunnie

summary: Jeongguk runs into his ex-girlfriend over the holidays.

tailored @flurrys-creativity

summary: In need of a new suit you visit your trusted tailor shop again. Kim’s Tailor Shop. Though when you enter the shop the usual face of Seokjin can’t be found, instead the unfamiliar face of a young man greets you. A man, who isn’t aware of your secret, which makes getting a tailored suit way more complicated than it should be. Can you protect your secret and still get the suit in need or will your cover be blown?

diet pepsi @yooniivrse

summary: stuck in the rain, jungkook can’t resist the sweetness of your lollipop—or the taste of your lips.

baby please come home @letsbangts

summary: when he’s the only thing you want for Christmas

warm up ^

summary: when you help him warmup

server room @mister0ctopus

summary: Your new IT guy is quiet and shy. But when you accidentally caught him doing something in the server room, while moaning your name, you just had to pretend you didn’t see that, right? Even if you can’t help but feel something, like, help him?

Multiple Members/OT7

petrichor @purpleyoonn

summary: You had been working at Bangtan Corporation for almost two years now, and not once have you ever laid eyes on your bosses. That was, until you met them when out with some of your coworkers. Now, you almost wish you hadn’t. Almost.

bts as situationships/fuck buddies: a speculative headcanon @kkaetnipjeon

alpha goes first @hollyhomburg

summary: Each pack has its own set of traditions and standards and as the newest omega in bangtan’s pack- you have more than a few things to learn. things come to a head when the youngest alpha tries to breed you before your pack alpha does. Seokjin doesn’t like that one bit.

before I leave you ch. 79 ^

summary: It’s Hoseok’s turn to breed you through your heat, but Namjoon won’t let him have it easily.

when you least expect it @johobi

summary: You’re in love with your childhood friend, Taehyung. The problem is, you treasure your friendship with him far too much to ever risk losing it. Oh, and he’s quite the Casanova. At your wits’ end with feelings you can no longer hide as diligently as you once did, you ask him to set you up with someone, anyone, in a last ditch attempt to avoid a heartbreaking conversation.

[beanbagstab]

My current Sonamy headcanons! 💖💙

These are mostly based off official content as well as what I’ve extrapolate from irl changes to the characters n such

.

.

.

1) Believing in Amy is the closest Sonic gets to believing in fate 

2) Sonic feels similarly to sinking in water to how he feels “falling in love”. He feels a loss of control in a way he’s not entirely comfortable with or even sure he likes but he finds it exciting nonetheless

3) Amy compares herself to Sonic too much and sees herself as weak as a result 

4) Sonic hates being vulnerable so he helps the weak

5) Amy is uniquely capable of seeing right through Sonic and that makes him feel vulnerable

6) Even if she is helpful, most strangers see Amy as annoying, her friends love her tho

7) Sonic is the first real person in her life to put up with Amy and she attached to him so much because of it

8) Both realize they’re trans early in childhood but Sonic never had a word for it until later in life 

9) Sonic is Demi and Bi-Romantic but goes unlabeled for most of his life. He’s known what he’s about since he was fairly young tho

10) Amy is Allo and Bi but had not really thought about until meeting Sonic, she goes to pride events when she can

11) Amy developed attachment and abandonment issues that don’t go away even after they begin to date 

12) Amy and Sonic have a weak telepathic connection that functions more like a sixth sense Sonic is less aware of it than Amy is and he doesn’t really question it

13) Amy actually has no idea how she is able to sense Sonic’s presence (she chalks it up to girlish intuition)

14) Sonic usually has a very good awareness of his surroundings but somehow Amy always manages to catch him off guard 

15) No matter how angry or aggressive Amy gets with him, Sonic’s danger sense has never gone off because of her

16) Even after they started dating, Sonic isn’t entirely sure if he ‘loves’ Amy the way she ‘loves’ him but as long as they’re happy he doesn’t really care 

17) Amy realized Sonic’s on the aroace spectrum before he did 

18) Sonic is secretly worried that one day Amy will fall out of love with him 

19) Sonic believes that Amy knows him better than he knows himself but Amy feels like there’s so much she still doesn’t know about him 

20) Amy is very perceptive and empathetic but Sonic is the hardest person for her to read 

21) Sonic is likewise very perceptive but lacks the same level of empathy as Amy 

22) Amy looks at Sonic like he hung the stars and Sonic would do anything to keep that look on her face 

23) Sonic doesn’t get jealous easily but when he does he gets very jealous 

24) Amy does get jealous easily but it quickly fizzes out to either anger or sadness 

25) A lot of people have a crush on Sonic but the only crush he’s ever really been affected by is Amy’s 

26) Sonic loves to live. Amy lives to love 

27) Amy is constantly trying to prove to herself that she’s worthy of Sonic’s love and attention 

28) Sonic can be selfish when it comes to Amy’s affections 

29) After/if Tails gets a partner Sonic ‘moves out’ and ‘moves in’ with Amy to give them more privacy 

30) Sonic is consciously more gentle with Amy and Amy is unconsciously more rough with Sonic 

31) After years of becoming more used to physical touch with/ from Amy he is almost completely unaffected by it which leads to Amy trying to find new ways to fluster/ tease him 

32) Meeting Amy as kids gave Sonic the patience and empathy he needed that lead him to allow Tails to follow him later 

33) Even if Amy didn’t want him to, Sonic would still rush in to save her. 

34) When Sonic is upset Amy is the first one able to tell the difference from his usual demeanor  

35) They almost never have serious arguments but when they do they both are quick to forgive 

36) Sonic considers himself very lucky to be the one who Amy fell in love with

37) To Sonic, Amy is truly a “good person” to the extent that he trust her moral compass with very little, if any, push back 

38) Sonic and Amy are both orphans

38) Sonic is an introvert and Amy is an extrovert 

39) Sonic is very bad at expressing his more negative/complex/vulnerable emotions

40) Amy often gets ahead of herself, overestimating her abilities which sometimes pay off and sometimes get her in a lot of trouble 

41) Sonic thinks Amy’s tenacity is amazing and fun but sometimes it worries him too

42) Sonic’s impatience as a kid stems from him being so used to being the strongest/ most capable person around 

43) Sonic gets less reckless as he grows but he gets very reckless when his emotions are high 

44) Amy: heeheehee (aka cute giggles)

Sonic: heheheheheHAHAHAHAHA (aka chuckles into full on cackling)

45) Even when they’re old, Sonic and Amy still act like teens in love- teasing each other and chasing each other around, new people are kinda weirded out but friends are very used to it by then

46) Sonic is so used to Amy telling him how she feels directly that he would have no idea what to do if she decided to clam up and suppress her own feelings. It would upset and unnerve him- he’d feel in the dark.

[psychomusic]

presenting to you: vegoia laran!

vegoia is the daughter of suri and tar'x laran, so, she's half-mirialan and half-zabrak. she lived on the mountains of mirial with her family until she began her jedi training at around 10 years, then she became a jedi seer.

more of her childhood under the cut! the rest of her story will be on other posts, I'll link them at the end when I'll post them

thank you @furious-blueberry0 for letting me use your padawan braid idea and jedi seer headcanon!! i really really love these ideas <3

since her birth, she seemed special at the eyes of her people, due to an old local myth: the founding witch.

(the myth is: a powerful witch, haunted by complex visions of the future, was exiled to the desert planet of mirial. after years spent traveling she had one clear vision on top of a mount, in which she saw the potential beauty of the valley, full of different lifeforms flourishing. with her magical powers, she turned that possible future into a reality, and everything changed: the 4 peoples who lived there started turning into trees and animals, what once was sterile rock became fertile ground, and craters were filled with water. but despite her good work, the incomprehensible visions kept returning. tired of the universe's infinite lessons, she decided to crystalize all of her visions and knowledge into the sacred crystal, and prophetized, before dying, that one day someone attuned to it would come to claim the crystal and understand the lessons she couldn't understand)

because of her albinism (that made her white like the crystal) and of her horns (the crystal has an horned shape), people thought she was the prophetized one. when she began to talk - rather late, and asked people to resolve the riddles that "a bearded man told her in her dreams" - what was just a rumor solidified into a belief.

her mother and grandfather, both in the high priesthood, taught her everything they could. they taught her to study, to reflect, and they explained to her their religion and folklore. also, her mother often tried to help her in her quest of finding answers. from her, vegoia learned how to study, and the right mindset to be able, later, to explore the jedi's philosophy and beliefs.

but it was her father that, despite his absence, taught her how to compromise with her visions, how to be patient, how to handle the state of ignorance, and how to enjoy it anyway. he was somehow better at understanding her, and making her understand things, than everyone else in the town. maybe, it was because he not only had met different force users, but also had experience with a force sensitive kid (his little brother, whom vegoia shared a lot of similar traits). despite her mother being a healer & priestess, and believing in the value in helping people, it was her father who really grounded that belief in her. in particular, he did it in a moment that. also shaped her experience of the force. a simple moment, though: she had asked him to kill a scary bug that was laying flat on its back, but he refused and instead asked her to help it. he believed that helping is what gives life sense - even more than the bonds we make, because it can't be undone. when vegoia picked up the bug and helped it get back on its feet, she could feel the bug's relief, and maybe even gratitude, through the force. this was the imprint of her experience of the force: connection (even more than her visions, that just "happened" to her, and couldn't actively call upon her).

BUT I DIGRESSED way too much on her childhood. the most important event in her childhood was the day she was taken by the jedi, even if she didn't know what truly happened that day.

the SIS had been tracking her father's movements for a while and had found out about his trips to mirial. worried that the empire was planning something, they sent a squad of operatives to investigate. since his father had often worked for the dark council, the SIS requested a jedi to come with them. when they arrived, suri went to talk to them. they threatened her into talking and she told them of their secret family. the SIS decided to take them prisoners, capture him when he got back, and make him talk using his family as leverage. the jedi disagreed with such methods but the operation was under the SIS's jurisdiction. suri then tried to convince them to leave the town and her daughter, and to instead blackmail him with her. the SIS refused, fearing that the sith might kill him before he could even know about the blackmailing. the jedi, feeling vegoia's strong presence in the force decided to make a deal: vegoia would've come with him to the temple to become a jedi. she'd still have a life, while suri would stay under their custody for the SIS trap. this would also show the agent the difference between the republic and the empire, and hopefully that would help him talk. she accepted at one condition: that they took her away before her father came back, so that she wouldn't have to live through it. vegoia didn't know of her father's real job, like everyone else in the town (everyone thought he had traded his services to the hutts to have the sacred horned crystal back).

they agreed, but, while suri was busy packing thing for vegoia, the SIS decided to put another condition. vegoia musn't be told anything about that day until her father had been taken into republic's custody, as a precaution. the jedi agreed, thinking it wouldn't be long before her father would come home and be arrested. little did he know this momentary omission would grow into a years-old lie.