#david can take a hike

[bairdthereader]

Does anyone but Sarah Nelson have permission to call him Nicky?

Evidence suggests . . .

Absolutely not.

This ⬇️ nonsense can just get out of my head canon right now.

[hiding-under-the-willow]

Tossing and turning in bed plagued by visions (Ed Edgar headcanons that are definitely just me projecting my cowboy ass autistic interest in strange animals onto him bc he too is a strange southern man with autistic swag)

[imaslutforwritingshit]

Things Ethan Landry would text- (Fem Friend Reader) PART 3

Warnings- mentions of smut, knifeplay, sexting, fearplay, confessions to murder.

If you guys like this, I’ll make an extended version, where I write a story in Y/n’s pov that happens after this texting story:)

The Ballad Of Terror

Y/n: hey loser

Ethan: Loser? that’s new.

Y/n: but true

Ethan: no good night text, bunny?

Y/n: ugh stop calling me that. I promise I don’t jump that weird.

Ethan: in PE class you look like a rodent

Y/n: shut up

Y/n: I want something else first before you get your good night text

Ethan: let me guess. You need homework answers?

Y/n: I don’t get anything in science. I don’t even know what a molecule is.

Ethan: luckily I’m smart.

Y/n: luckily.

Ethan: click to view

Y/n: thank u <3

Ethan: np.

Ethan: hey, how are you and David doing together?

Y/n: why?

Ethan: I’m just curious

Y/n: maybe being curious isn’t always the right thing to be

Ethan: I’m your friend who wants you to be happy.

Y/n: I am happy

Ethan: with David?

Y/n: why are you asking that like david can’t make me happy?

Ethan: because I don’t think he could

Y/n: he does.

Ethan: oh, yeah?

Y/n: yes.

Ethan: as in, present tense?

Y/n omg yes

Y/n: why do you care so much?

Ethan: you broke up with him last night.

Y/n: how did you know that?

Y/n: Ethan??

Y/n: who told you

Ethan: no one told me.

Y/n: then why the fuck do you know?

Ethan: I watched you get that text. You cried over your bedside table.

Ethan: don’t leave me on read

Ethan: cmon

Y/n: how do you know

Ethan: I watched you through the window.

Y/n: you’re my friend

Y/n: this is scaring me

Ethan: Don’t be scared. Remember when you told me that you loved the real me?

Y/n: yes.

Ethan: this is the real me.

Y/n: a stalker?

Ethan: For you,

Ethan: Yes.

Y/n: if you were watching me, what was I wearing?

Ethan: That Ivy League shirt I bought for you in 2018.

Y/n: what pants, then ??

Ethan: oh, that’s the best part.

Y/n: please

Ethan: you weren’t wearing any

Ethan: you hiked your thighs to your chest

Ethan: you were wearing black panties

Y/n: you’re a fucking creep

Ethan: don’t be like that.

Y/n: how long has this been going on?

Ethan: How long have I been in love with you?

Ethan: or watching you sleep

Ethan: ?

Y/n: i should call the police. do you stalk other girls?

Ethan: you’re the only one for me

Ethan: nobody makes me feel the way you make me feel

Ethan: All those girls meant nothing to me. They couldn’t replace you.

Y/n: what girls?

Y/n: you’re a manwhore now?

Ethan: don’t be stupid. I didn’t fuck anyone

Ethan: I killed them

Y/n: im calling the police

Ethan: I disconnected the system from your number

Ethan: you can’t call anyone for help

Y/n: what do you want from me?

Ethan: Don’t you want to know?

Ethan: Why I did it?

Y/n: no

Ethan: I want to hurt you. Is that bad?

Ethan: it just turns me on so much

Ethan: to imagine you begging for me

Ethan: begging me not to slice you open

Ethan: fuck your brains out until your screaming my name

Ethan: i want to use you

Ethan: and you and I both know you would enjoy it

Y/n: you’re ghostface

Ethan: oh

Ethan: what gave it away ?

Y/n: you piece of shit.

Ethan: I don’t think you should insult me right now

Y/n: why? you gonna kill me??

Ethan: don’t tempt me.

Y/n: but apparently I already am. I’m basically asking for a knife to my throat, aren’t I?

Y/n: to watch your cock enter me as you choke me

Y/n: god, it would turn me on so much!!!

Ethan: I don’t take sarcasm too well

Ethan: if your asking for it, I’ll give it to you.

Y/n: im blocking you

Ethan: you can’t hide

Y/n: I’ll lock my doors. Get my parents to call the cops when they come back.

Ethan: your parents aren’t home?

Ethan: That changes things.

Y/n: I locked everything

Y/n: leave me alone

Ethan: why did you assume I was outside your house?

Y/n: please leave me alone

Ethan: let’s play a game of hide and seek, y/n.

Ethan: you run

Ethan: you hide

Ethan: and we’ll see if I can catch you.

Ethan: and if I do…

Ethan: god, I love making you my victim.

Y/n: Ethan please

Ethan: 3

Ethan: 2

Ethan: 1

Ethan: time to run, bunny.

🩷

[randomfoggytiger]

So, ehat was your take of the podcast of these two old friends? I thought it was lovely and different than his other podcasts. She gets him to relax.

Now, what about the recreation of the picture they said they would do?:) I think they might have talked about the picture but not when the photoshoot would happen. Xmas is around the corner. Come on guys, give the Fandom a merry David-Gillian gift of all time! It's been a dry spell without your loving craziness. Hike up those stockings on your little legs, G, and hop onto those DD shoulders.

It'd be funny if they did, wouldn't it? It'd also be funny if they recreated it in a way that wouldn't hurt either of their backs, shoulders, or knees, too. XDDD

I had an excellent time with the podcast! It confirmed every single one of my suspicions, theories, and guestimations of their friendship: their personalities, their focuses, their dynamic then, their dynamic now, etc. It was refreshing. It was, for lack of a better word, simple: the facts were the facts were the facts, and there wasn't anything big or grand to be made of their interactions, past or present.

I liked hearing them talk over each other. I liked that both admitted to already butting heads in Season 1. I liked that both admitted they'd never thought to trade childhood stories, or cross their personal lives over.

Most of all, I loved their candor: David admitting he felt dumped in the Revival, and that Gillian didn't know and felt sorry in retrospect. That Gillian didn't feel dumped during the first run. That Gillian thought the Revival's story line reduced her character, especially the ending. That David felt trapped and villainized over the pay gap issue; and only later learned his pay wasn't due to his merit so much as internal favoritism. That Gillian now understands and feels for his pain. That David still feels the sting of Vancouver hating him and being forced out of rehab anonymity, and all the pain he gathered from both incidences. That Gillian admitted she doesn't process shame, just stays too busy to have to face it. That David felt comfortable to say that was unhealthy, and that she felt comfortable enough to hum in agreement. That both know their children have to fail, because they would fail their own children if they stopped those failures. That David tried to drill into his son that he's a miserable person and nothing is as it seems; but that that perspective hadn't worked. That Gillian feels motherhood is the most fulfilling thing for her, yet chooses her work over and over (again, staying too busy to feel shame.) That DD knew as early as Season 1 that Chris intended for Mulder and Scully to be an end goal-- asking CC if he wanted to send GA and himself to couples' counseling as their characters. That GA forgot and laughed over the memory. That Gillian arrived late after he offered her a ride on his private aircraft; then wrote him a beautiful letter, on the plane, instead of saying those words in person. That he marveled she hadn't gone insane from the pressure. That she no longer feels the need to run from Scully's legacy. That both admitted that communication, though important, was non-existent during that time in their lives.

There are so many good bits. But I have two takeaways:

They have the same frenetic drive, the same "crazy" as David calls it; but I can see why it drove a wedge between them (and could, now): they wouldn't be able to tolerate that same freneticism in each other in large doses. (Hence, why they didn't speak for weeks while on set, and were already exchanging "blows" in Season 1.)

Most importantly, they were two old friends who purposefully dug in and rediscovered new things about each other. The camaraderie was different: settled, more "in-character" to how I think they talk when David doesn't feel like he has to perform (though there was a bit of that) and Gillian doesn't feel uneasy, or anxious, or "watched."

In short: they felt wholly the same, but in a new way. :DDDDD

[romirola]

Headcanons for the Shaw Pack's Ideal Vacations

Inspired by Asher's excitement over the honeymoon cruise. (Oh, best beta boi. I am so happy you are having lots of fun, but I do not understand how anyone tolerates, let alone enjoys, a cruise.)

David: A week away with Angel at the pack cabin. It's far enough away to disconnect from the real world, but close enough so David wouldn't feel completely isolated or unable to reach a pack member if there were an emergency. David likes an active vacation: hikes, swims, etc. Spending uninterrupted, quality time together with his mate is difficult. David adores the chance to put his responsibilities on pause (he struggles with that, but he'd getting better) and focus solely on Angel.

Angel: An adventure to somewhere they've never been. Angel is all about the expierience, especially when it comes to new places. They love trekking their own path, exploring all a new region has to offer, whether it be a cozy cafe, a historic landmark, a little-known cottage off the beaten path, or whatever else they might find along the way with David.

Asher: A cruise, for the reasons listed in his latest video. Look, I don't get it in the slightest, but Asher loves it and that's what's important. All aboard!

Babe: A staycation. As up for travel as Babe is, being able to curl up in their home, turn off their work devices, and enjoy their time is the epitome of relaxation and vacation. Dahlia has a lot to offer, but Babe often finds themselves so busy with work, they don't get to take advantage of the area. On a staycation, however, Babe gets the opportunity to be a tourist in their own home, and it's glorious. They and Asher get to hit all the fun spots, but have the added bonus of knowing exactly where they are, what to do to get the most out of the day, and know that their own bed (as well as their husband) will be waiting for them at the end of the day.

Milo: International tour. As a child, Milo always dreamt of seeing the world and getting to expierience a variety of cultures, so taking a few weeks to tour a handful of countries would be the perfect getaway for him. He studies up on the history and language before departing so he can get the most out of the trip, making sure to hit all the cultural hotspots, sampling all the quintessential food, and taking a billion pictures of everything (including Sweetheart) that he can show Marie when he returns home.

Sweetheart: A long, luxurious weekend in a different city. Although at home Sweetheart resists even the most basic of indulgences out of dedication and practicality, once they are on a (rare) vacation, they transform into someone who craves pampering and luxury of all kinds. They explore a good mix of touristy sights (museums! theatre! zoo! etc!) as well as having some free time to wander around with Milo and see what they find together.

Darling and Sam: Camping in a remote area in the woods. Darling loves getting in touch with their wild side. Spending some time off the grid helps them reset and recharge. They love being able to forget about covert, shifting into and out of their wolf form with ease. The dense forest also acts as a great coverage from the sun for Sam, which makes their trip even better. Sam enjoys the isolation and peace that comes with being in nature with his mate and no one else. He digs into the vampire side of himself, unencumbered by social strictures or vampire politics. At night, after a hunt or run, they lay on the ground and stargaze together.

[buckyarchives]

MODERN OBI-WAN KENOBI BOYF HC

I haven’t ever done a head cannon post but with how busy / lazy I’ve been I might post more of these, they’re a lot of fun. probably one for Bucky and Luke skywalker. If you want any other characters just lmk! Make sure to check my request post!

warning: nsfw content (labeled so if you want to skip you totally can)

tea guy, like, it’s crazy. has so many drawers full of boxes and bags. always making you tea to fit whatever mood you’re in

landscaper or teacher, or both. I imagine him teaching younger kids but probably wishes to be a professor of some sort, maybe teaching environmental science.

just really likes plants and flowers but sometimes gets tired of having to craft and trim everything to be perfect so he thoroughly enjoys natural nature and the “overgrown’ aesthetic

Adding onto that, loves to hike, always takes you with and nerds out about the scenery and views.

definitely fosters dogs from the local shelter and takes them on hikes to help leash train them.

unintentionally a pretentious little prick

circle lens glasses and turtle neck combo 24/7

And of course you steal his sweaters ALL THE TIME

Smells like citrus, grass and rain. the warm sun rays and vanilla

Always watching some documentary, or the history channel.

All your friends lowkey want him because he’s. That Guy.

Whenever he blushes it goes straight to his nose, ears and neck.

Frequent at most coffee shops in town so when he started to bring you around it was a big deal for the workers lol, so much gossip. And mild disappointment from the staff knowing obi wan was official taken

Probably hates small talk, finds it tedious and shallow

The most supportive boyfriend in the world, he’s always the first person there to cheer you on

When you started dating him, his cousin/best friend, Anakin, came as a packaged deal. The younger one frequently trailing behind obi wan and now, as you’ve got too closer, you as he’s become a younger brother figure to you.

Not jealous at all, he’s very secure in your relationship and his trust in you is crazy strong. finds it quite amusing when men hit on you in front of him and kinda just lets you play it out.

That is unless you become uncomfortable, he mostly lets you stand up for yourself but if it becomes overbearing he definitely won’t hesitate to cause a small scene.

A big runner and boxer, you’re used to having to help his knuckles heal up from long sessions. As well as joining him on early morning runs if he can get you up and out of bed for it.

He loves art and mostly drew and painted landscapes but after meeting you this sketch book began to fill of pictures of you from every angle possible.

So naturally put together all the time it makes you insecure sometimes

Obviously, obi wan is the best at easing those insecurities. He always notices when you’re feeling off, sometimes even before yourself, so quick to embrace you and whisper exactly what you need to hear.

Another thing, so good with his words??? He always tell you what you need to hear, there’s rarely ever any miscommunication between the two of you because of this and even when they’re are, arguments are not common.

Crazy sarcastic, will say the funniest shit ever with the most monotone face and it just makes it 100% times funnier.

Really likes Taylor swift and David Bowie

Always getting you bouquets of flowers, even arranges them himself sometimes.

“This reminded me of you.”

Such a safe and non-judgemental aura, you’d struggle with asking for help or learning new / seemingly ‘common sense’ things with past relationships in fear of seeming dumb but you feel so safe around obi-wan that those thoughts never cross your mind, always learning new things from him and enjoying how helpful and supportive he is.

Definitely an impala driver, either 40s Chevy impala or the very sleek and fancy 2020 impala premier, probably black and rarely dirty

Not the biggest cuddler in the world but really enjoys naps together, will drape an arm over you but he tends to move around in his sleep so he’s just content with sleeping besides you rather than wrapping limbs

But when he is in the mood to cuddle, it’s mostly on the couch when you decides to binge shitty reality television. He’s usually on his back and you’re laying ontop of his stomach with your ear to his chest

You two constantly binge dating reality shows, always criticizing the other couple and mostly men LOL.

“He did not just say that! Maker, you would have broke up with me then and there.” “Damn right I would.”

You trace all the moles and freckles along his body, obi wan definitely had a skin care routine and moisturizes so I imagine his skin is always so soft

NSFW!

really likes nudes, like the grainy MacBook camera pictures with a matching cute set type nudes (iykyk). Hot and slightly artistic, his favorite.

Doesn’t like porn though, never enjoyed it and it never really got him off, doesn’t like the morals of it either

Also sexting, not his thing. He’s usually more on the serious end when it comes to intimacy but he cannot take sexting seriously LMAOO

lowkey the type to come home from a long day of work and look you in the eye with That Look and you just know what he needs

Thigh guy, the type to take breaks from eating you out by just resting his head fully on your inner thigh and just gaze up at you

Sir / master kink

Will jokingly come up behind you when you’re in the kitchen or something and press his groin to your behind

Just a little tease overall, always doing shit like that and acting all innocent about it

VERY VERY vocal during sex (cough, cough, shallow graves ending scene, COUGH)

[pyssball]

spoiled pink pt.1 .ᐟ jenson button

masterlist

a/n: holy crap chat it's been a sec, school started back up and i've been STRESSING tryna get these chapters done and keep up with school 😭 yes i did decide to include david, however he is just a father figure/friend to chloe, kinda like seb and michael vibes. pt. 2 will be up as soon as possilble ! 👍🏻

word count: 1.1k

no warnings for this chapter 💌

February 25, 2023 (2:26 p.m.)

The early morning mist hovered over Loch Ness, adding an ethereal quality to the landscape as Jenson, David, and Chloe arrived to set off on their hike. They had planned this hike for months.

“Okay so, plan is: Loch Centre to Loch View” Chloe stood on a tree stump, pointing at the map they had collected from the Centre.

Jenson nodded, looking at the map on his phone for the estimated time.

“Hun, that’s like 3 hours.” DC spoke, shaking his head as he looked at the time with Jenson.

“Hey, you can back out, old man.” she teased.

DC threw his hands up in surrender, “No, no. I promised a hike, we’ll hike… but you do realise we have to come back right?”

“Well duh.” she jumped down off the stump, grabbing her bag from the car and throwing it on her back.

Jenson and David exchanged glances before grabbing their own bags. Jenson chuckled as she walked off, “Chlo, wait up!”

She groaned and turned around, “Why?”

“Cause we know you, you’ll get lost.”

“Nuh-uh, I have a map.” she held up the map, pointing to the two checkpoints she had highlighted.

As they began their hike, the path was serene and inviting. The early morning sun began to burn off the mist, revealing a landscape of rolling hills and dense forests. The trail wandered along the edge of the Loch, offering breathtaking views at every turn. Chloe took the lead, setting a brisk pace, while David and Jenson followed, each finding their own rhythm.

The two men chatted and laughed as they walked. Chloe, meanwhile, was engrossed in her surroundings, stopping frequently to snap photos of the Loch's glassy surface and the mist-clad hills.

“Having fun, love?” Jenson, smiled as he watched her snap a few more pictures.

“Mhm.. I might paint this later.”

“Of course you will.” David chuckled.

(5:54 p.m.)

As the day wore on, the weather began to change. Dark clouds gathered over the Loch, and a light drizzle started to fall.

Chloe, though initially disappointed, saw the opportunity for some unique and dramatic shots, her camera clicking away as the rain left ripples on the Loch's surface. Although, Jenson and David were much less enthused about getting wet.

“You’ve got to be joking.” Jenson grumbled.

DC groaned adjusting his jacket around himself, “Come on.”

“Oh my gods, you two act like a little bit of water is gonna kill you.”

“This wasn’t exactly in the plans, Chlo.” Jenson protested.

Chloe giggled, “We aren’t that far from the View, Jense, I think there’s a little castle we can stay in until it passes.”

“Castle?” DC asked, visibly puzzled.

“Yeah, I think it’s called the Urquhart Castle or something like that.”

“Leave it to the Queen of the Nerds to know the name of a castle in the middle of no where.” Jenson teased.

Within 10 minutes, they reached a scenic overlook that offered a panoramic view of Loch Ness and the surrounding landscape. The rain had stopped, leaving behind a fresh, earthy scent. They paused to take in the view, each lost in their own thoughts. Jenson marveled at the majesty of the Loch, David took a moment to appreciate the tranquility, and Chloe was busy composing the perfect shot of the sun breaking through the clouds.

(8:09 p.m.)

As they walked the hike back, the weather cleared, and a rainbow arched over the Loch, casting a magical glow over the scene. They reached the end of the trail just as the sun began to set, casting a golden hue over the water. Exhausted but exhilarated, they sat together, sharing a simple meal of sandwiches and fruit.

“Well that was tiring.. but fun!” Chloe squeaked.

”Very tiring.” Jenson chimed.

“Remind me to never go on a hike with Chloe again.” DC groaned as he stuffed his face with a ham sandwich.

“It’s not my fault you’re old.” Chloe sighed, beginning to eat some strawberries.

“But it IS your fault that we walked 3 hours there and back.”

“You’re still alive, yeah?”

“Barely.” DC and Jenson replied at the same time, in the same tone, causing Chloe to giggle.

As they watched the sun dip below the horizon, Chloe snapped one last photo, capturing the three friends silhouetted against the fading light. They shared a quiet moment of contentment, each reflecting on the day's adventures and the memories they had created together.

(9:38 p.m.)

After the long day, Jenson and Chloe finally arrived home. Chloe taking a shower and settling into some comfy pjs, which in reality was just on our Jenson’s t-shirts and a pair of boxers.

The two set about preparing a simple dinner— vodka pasta with some garlic bread Chloe had made earlier that week. They exchanged smiles and quiet laughter as they worked together, the comfort of their routine mingling with the satisfaction of a day well spent.

They ate slowly, savouring the flavours and each other’s company. The conversation flowed easily, punctuated by the occasional sip of red wine and the occasional sound of the wind rustling through the trees outside.

Afterward, they moved to the porch, where they sat in wooden rocking chairs. The stars were brilliant against the dark sky, and they talked softly about constellations and Chloe explaining their origin stories, their voices blending with the sounds of the night—crickets chirping, the distant call of an owl.

Chloe pointed up to the Orion constellation, “That one is one of my favourites.”

Jenson would follow her finger in the night sky, ”Which one is it?”

“Orion.’

“There a backstory?”

Chloe would shift giving him a dumbfounded look, “Everything has a backstory, Jense.”

“Well.. I suppose so. Can I hear it?”

“Orion was a really good hunter, son of a Gorgon and Poseidon, who angered mother Earth, Gaia, by boasting he could kill all animals. Gaia sent a scorpion to attack Orion, leading to the placement of Scorpius and Orion never being visible together. Ophiuchus intervened, saving Orion with an antidote which cause Ophiuchus to be positioned between Scorpius and Orion in the sky.. in Greek mythology anyways, there are tons of stories.”

Jenson looked at her, slightly impressed that she could just spat all of that without a second thought, “Woah.”

“The Finns refer to Orion's belt and the stars below it as "Väinämöinen's scythe" and the asterism of Alnilam, Alnitak, and Mintaka as "Väinämöinen's Belt. The stars hanging from the belt are known as ‘Kaleva's sword.’”

Jenson gave her a look of genuine confusion, “Since when do the Finns have mythology..?!”

“Since.. forever?”

Jenson chuckled pulling her closer to him, “Sometimes I forget you’re such a dork.”

Chloe gasped, “I am not a dork! …I’m a nerd.”

Jenson laughed softly, “Is there a difference?”

As the evening wore on, they fell into a comfortable silence, each lost in their own thoughts but content in the shared quiet. The world outside felt distant and unimportant, replaced by the simple joy of being together. They leaned into each other, finding warmth and solace in the gentle closeness of the night.

thank you for reading, darlings ! remember to like and reblog ! i’ll give u a smooch if u do, luv u all !

[trashc-anon]

hazbin hotel is polluting my mind so if I were the editor's intern: reco

• either stretch the season into 16 episodes or cut the plotlines in half;

• definitaly cut Alastor's screen time in half (if not more)

• make up your mind how much of the pilot is canon (especially regarding Lucifer)

• episode 1 is good as is, a soft reboot from the pilot without getting in too much detail and I love hating Adam, "Hell is Forever" is banger (i hope the music writers were properly paid and Disney learns why AI is a bad idea!)

• episode 2 is a problem, because Sir Pentious presence is only because of the V's, make that episode 2/2;

• ep 1/2 - Charlie and Vaggie leave the hotel to recruit; Sir Pentious attacks, all on schedule

• Charlie or Vaggie save some of the eggs from being crushed; when the "battle" is over, Pentious is cautiosly agrees to entertain their hospitalty; angel is untrusting;

• "Starts with Sorry"

• leave the Vs as unseen foes, and Alastor's only appearance is his shadow at the end of the episode (Overlords are mysterious unseen threat)

• episode 2/2 - Vs are anxious that Alastor is with the princess;

• see, the first couple of episodes make sense, but they take away from the girls and the hotel

• but "Stayed Gone" is sooo good! maybe use at a later date?

nevermind

• "Stayed Gone" is a fun song, BUT it doesn't make sense for Alastor, mysterious serial killer, to have childish rivalries; why didn't he kill Vox back when he rejected him and Vox got 'pissy'?

• either make Vox less pathetic or less there;

• soooo, episode 3/1 is would be trust exercises

• i actually liked Angel's plan with BDSM, he's not wrong and I wished he had the chance to be an adult that LIKES sex separate from the victim that uses overtsexuality as a defence mechanism

• each character could have their own moment to show what trust means to them; trust comes in different shades;

• between Angel and Maggie we see sexual intimacy and surviving extreme situations; Husk has issues with openess; Niffty with intrusive thoughts;

• IN FACT! actually stablish WHY Husk and Niffty are part of the exercises! they're not guests, Husk says as much, they are employees LOANED by Alastor; they're not there to earn redemption; *vague hand gesture in confusion*

• OKAY - Overlord meeting... ehhhhhh

• i still want to cut Alastor's screentime! whats the point of the meeting? screentime for the overlords, the dead angel (which we know, but main cast won't until episode 7) Carmila being responsible is important, we need to know who to ask for help, but ugh. I get its also, prelude that you need love to fight and win against angels, but its never stablished in canon, Carmila says it to Maggie to use as internal compass to keep her fighting beyond pain and fear; bloodlust is distracting, love is focused;

• my delight with Zestial being all dark and yummy need to take a hike for the sake of - what am i even doing any more?

• I can't help but think how much of these decision are also based on Voice Actor salaries; because Keith David (Husk) gotta be expensive and for a character that is literaly always presented he almost never talks; and just, ALL of them being expensive and ~ahahah better make fewer episodes if you want big names in your projects~

• ughhhh that's when you know a series has issues, when trying to fix you run into a thousand more problems;

• i would respect how much they put into 8 episodes, ONLY IF it's true they didn't know they would get season 2. Because in that case a bunch of these plot lines needed to be dropped, I don't care how fanfavorite the character is;

• the Vs serve no purpose what so ever, you can easily have Valentino as a lone villain (also less confusion about hells social rules about SA and abuse);

• Lucifer should've been the last big name to enter screen; work up to the trial with Heaven for S2E01 (why even a trial)

• just how PLOT heavy is this series that Viv needed Lilith's bomb to drop in season 1? which is a major inconsistancy for a series based on the theme of redemption, a CHARACTER heavy theme;

• as it is, i don't see how Sir Pentious being redeemed is a good thing, because he died before entering Heaven, so other souls need to die too and hope it's not forever? wouldn't that fuel Exterminators cause to kill in name of 'clensing'? (holy shit, the more I write the worse it gets)

• IS there an primordial EVIL to scare the angels so badly?

• omg I hope they won't try to bring actual GOD into the series; I know there is concept art floating around, but please, do not;

• Supernatural barely got away with it in Season 5 because it was a funny 'what if' and made it got bad in Season 10 (?) (no series should ever emulate Supernatural, its a warning I mean it, don't, not worth it, you don't have 10+ years of dead horse to beat)(the fans, me, stayed out of, idk, regretfull loyalty)

• my english is not good enough for this... KAY IM DONE NOW! BYEEEE

[burgerkingussy]

My Favorite Thing’s From Milo’ New Audio

(spoilers under cut)

👁️‍🗨️ Sweetheart panicking when Milo came back injured

👁️‍🗨️ Milo’s soft “i promise i’m ok”

👁️‍🗨️ “it was from me, being a dumbass” (the way he said this was just so funny)

👁️‍🗨️ The pack boys go hiking together 🥺 precious beans

👁️‍🗨️ Milo trying to make SH asking to take off his shirt sexy (this man could rival Gavin istg)

👁️‍🗨️ “i did not mean literally poke you monster”

👁️‍🗨️ *SH kisses him* “that does not make it all better” (but then he asks for more kisses)

👁️‍🗨️ “i’m no stranger to a little physical fitness” oh we know

👁️‍🗨️ Milo calling Asher “the energizer bunny on a serotonin overdose”

👁️‍🗨️ Similarly, i just love how David and Milo refer to Ash even though they’re all the same age lol iconic king

👁️‍🗨️ Asher challenging Milo to race up a “damn near vertical” mountain

👁️‍🗨️ Milo calling Ash “happy-go-lucky” and then “a competitive prick”

👁️‍🗨️ “it’s a good time, right up until it wasn’t”

👁️‍🗨️ “damn, sweetheart” 👀

👁️‍🗨️ Milo kissing SH to reassure them while SH is healing him >>>

👁️‍🗨️ Milo confirming that running in wolf form feels good >>>>

👁️‍🗨️ “i’m not gonna be the first one to give up”

👁️‍🗨️ “and the energizer bunny, takes a tumble” WHY DID HE SOUND SO EVIL SAYING THAT???!!!?

👁️‍🗨️ Milo calling Asher one of him best friends and saying that he doesn’t want him to get hurt

👁️‍🗨️ “you’re not going to believe this next part, but as a wolf, i don’t have hands” (comedian Milo??)

👁️‍🗨️ Milo THROWING himself under Ash to BREAK HIS FALL DOWN A MOUNTAIN 😭😭 (when i tell you i love the relationships these boys have 🥹)

👁️‍🗨️ Milo calling himself Asher’s personal surf board >>>

👁️‍🗨️ Milo telling the most dramatic, terrifying story and then ending it with “it wasn’t that bad”

👁️‍🗨️ Milo not wanting Ash to feel bad

👁️‍🗨️ Milo endlessly flirting with SH while they try to heal him 😙🤌

👁️‍🗨️ Milo saying “i can get them” and then letting out with string of “ow’s” is peaky humor

👁️‍🗨️ Sweetheart practicing healing magic since (/because of) the inversion (/Milo’s core being injured)🩷

👁️‍🗨️ Milo insisting on showering even though he’s “covered in full body scratches”

👁️‍🗨️ Throwback Thursday to the first time Sweetheart healed Milo

👁️‍🗨️ “Asher used my shoulder blades as an impromptu pair of skis”

👁️‍🗨️ Sweetheart’s healing magic improving from “sledgehammer” to “barely hurt at all”/“god, that feels good” >>>>

👁️‍🗨️ “you don’t have to ask baby, i trust you. i know you’ll be gentle” THE SCREAM I JUST SCRUMPT 😭

👁️‍🗨️ WDYM ITS BEEN SIX YEARS?? 😭😭😭

👁️‍🗨️ Milo is such a little shit sometimes but i love him

👁️‍🗨️ “i felt bad about him feeling bad” Milo the Best Boy

👁️‍🗨️ Asher being able to see through Milo’s shit >>>

👁️‍🗨️ Also, Asher being an angel and offering to carry Milo because he was injured (they’re more than best friends, they’re brothers)

👁️‍🗨️ Milo STILL trying to make it sexy and sensual

👁️‍🗨️ Milo’s “come here come here” 💗

👁️‍🗨️ “I want to hold you for a bit,, and thank you properly”

👁️‍🗨️ “I love you so goddamn much” Milo and Sweetheart are thee couple. there, i said it.

👁️‍🗨️ “You feel like forever in my arms” MILO FUCKING GREER 😭😭

[backslashhhh]

My One and Only

David ‘Hesh’ Walker x Reader

Genre: Fluff

WC: 1241

Authors notes: this is my first fic ever so don’t judge me too hard lmao, not proof read cause who has time for that. Also I apologize if the formatting is weird as I am on mobile. Definitely let me know if there are any mistakes and I’ll try to fix them

————————————————————

“How much longer?” You groaned. You had been walking for what seemed to be hours at this point.

Hesh said nothing but let out a chuckle, watching as Riley excitedly darted up ahead, only to fall back and loop around both his legs.

It was your second year anniversary, two whole years of dating this amazing man. You didn’t think that a measly two years was worth celebrating, but Hesh insisted on you both taking the time off work. He definitely deserved some time off, one thing you had always admired about him was how much of a hard worker he was. The man was practically married to his work. Made you a little jealous sometimes.

He finally spoke, “Just up past this hill,” he vaguely pointed to something that was very much a mountain, not a hill.

You groaned loudly. Hesh had always been more of an outdoorsy person, always taking Riley to the beach or on long hikes. You? Not so much. You had been burned one to many times in the great outdoors, be it bugs, sunburn, or even that one time you fell down a small cliff.

But you agreed to come on a camping trip with him. You were never able to resist the puppy eyes he gave you when he wanted something. So once you begrudgingly agreed he all but forced everyone to start packing. Riley made himself useful by padding around with his favourite toy in his mouth.

Hesh outstretched his hand “-kay?” You came to and realized you had been staring at Hesh with that dopey smile he always makes fun of you for while he was saying something. You smirk at him and nod, pretending you had heard what he just said.

He raised an eyebrow. “You didn’t hear me did you?”

“Nope.”

He huffed and pecked you on the cheek, “I’m just that handsome, huh” he pulled back with a shit eating grin.

You playfully swatted him and pushed forward, aiming to get to the campsite while there was still light.

—————————————————

It was hard to tell what time it was by the time you made it to the campsite, as dark heavy clouds began to roll in with the promise of a very wet start to the trip.

You and Hesh scrambled to set up the tent as quickly as possible, adding extra tarps under and on top. Riley, (ever the smart one of you three) laid himself down under some thick brush as little droplets began to fall.

You both had just finished up when the sky opened and layers of rain pelted down. You both scrambled inside and quickly called Riley before the wet dog smell became too bad.

A moment of quiet had settled between you and Hesh. Too quiet, for Hesh at least. You glance over at him and see him staring at you with a guilty smile.

When you raise a questioning eyebrow at him he finally speaks, “I’m sorry,” he glances down, playing with a stray stick that had made its way into the tent.

“For what?” You chuckle, reaching for his hand and intertwining your fingers.

“The rain? I’m sorry this was supposed to be perfect” He clarifies looking at you with such guilt you’d think he was apologizing for stabbing you instead of the weather.

You beam at him, saying nothing but scooting closer to him. You pull a spare blanket from your hiking backpack and pull it snugly over the two of you.

“You really think the rain can ruin this? David anywhere with you is perfect, never mind the weather.” You peck him on the cheek.

“I know, I know. It’s just…” he trails off with unfocused eyes. “I don’t know, forget I said anything.”

At this you frown, why was he acting so weird all of a sudden. It wasn’t like him to get caught up on something as simple as the weather.

“It’s just what? You’re scaring me.” You giggle nervously. “Whatever it is, just say it.”

Hesh looks you up and down before taking a deep breath.

He starts “____, I’ve loved you for a while. I liked you for years before I even attempted to ask you out, and the fact that you said yes to dating a guy like me blows my mind to this day.” He pauses to run a hand through his hair. “As much as you and I both like to dance around the topic, my job is scary, the world is scary, there’s never a guarantee that I’ll come home to you.”

You say nothing, staring at him. It was true that his job held no guarantee of survival, but you had met the ghosts, and you trusted them to keep him as safe as possible. You trusted him. You wordlessly nod, urging him along.

“But I can guarantee that you are the single best thing to have ever happened to me. I know that we’ve only been dating for two years, but for me it seemed like an eternity. Two whole years you’ve put up with me being away for work, not knowing whether or not I’m coming home in a body bag. And I just- you always- I love you ____. I love you so much that it physically fucking hurts.” He stares into your eyes, somehow conveying what he’s struggling to say perfectly. “I wanted this moment to be beautiful and sunny, I even had a fucking speech planned but fuck it.”

He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small ring. You can feel your heart pounding in your ears.

“_____, I can’t just sit around and pretend like the time we spend together isn’t precious. If my time with you is limited, and god knows if it is, I want to be married to you for as long as I can be. ____, will you make me the happiest man ever and marry me?”

.

There’s a beat of silence as thunder rumbles in the background. At some point you had started crying. Even Riley was watching with canine interest.

You let out a breath you didn’t even know you were holding. “David Walker, is that even a question? Of course I’ll marry you. Yes, YES!” You cry out and rush to hug him while placing sloppy kisses all over his face. Hesh joined you in crying while stumbling to put the ring on your finger.

You immediately cuddled into him whilst holding out the hand with the ring on it. You studied the ring, feeling as though you had seen it before. Hesh nestled into the crook of your neck breathing contentedly before whispering out “It was my mothers ring.”

It finally clicked where you had seen it before. Hesh had shown you a photo of his mother a while back. It was a beautiful photo from her and Elias’s wedding. Hesh always joked that he was a carbon copy of his father, but you could always see some of his mother’s features shine through.

You cuddled impossibly closer into his side, now wrapping both arms around him. Riley, apparently getting jealous, crawled through the tent and rested his head in both your laps.

The sound of rain bounced around in your ears. The world was a cold and cruel place. But for now, if not just for just a moment, it felt as though nothing could hurt you, Hesh, or even Riley. Everything was perfect.

~

[ssgirl]

So..... who's interested in reading a 911-Schitt's Creek crossover that's also a 8x06 fix-it because I've been watching Schitt's Creek to cope with the bucktommy break up and I have ideas....

Two snippets:

“Ow, shit,” Patrick cursed as his foot slipped on an unexpected dip in the trail. Taking this hike on his own in an unfamiliar place was probably not his best idea but the views were supposed to be beautiful and David insisted someone should do something fun while he and Alexis dealt with Moira’s spiral as the premiere of “The Crows Have Eyes 4: Return of the Crow” approached. His right ankle was really starting to throb, walking back to his car would not be fun. Patrick pulled out his phone, no bars.  “There’s usually no service this far out on the trail. Are you okay?” A voice asked from behind him. Patrick turned towards the man and wow that was a tall, muscular man (what do they put in the water in LA). A large man in black shorts and a red tank top which revealed his very large biceps looked at Patrick with concern.  “Uh I stepped wrong, I think I twisted my ankle,” Patrick replied.   “I can take a look at it for you, if you want? I’m a firefighter, so I have some first aid training. And we can see about getting you back down the trail to the cars. My name is Tommy, by the way, Tommy Kinard,” the man, Tommy, said.

and

“Alright, we’re headed to a movie set,” Bobby announced over the headset as the 118, “Dispatch said the caller was a bit vague but apparently there’s a woman in her sixties in distress following a ‘crow-related incident’.” “No, no, absolutely not. Not the crows,” Chimney protested, “One of you guys can get cursed this time.” Eddie rolled his eyes, “There is no such things as curses. And didn’t you make friends with the crow in the end.”

We'll see how this goes 😂

[ausetkmt]

Ga. islanders vow to keep fighting change favoring rich buyers

DARIEN, Ga. - Descendants of enslaved people living on a Georgia island vowed to keep fighting after county commissioners voted to double the maximum size of homes allowed in their tiny enclave.

Residents fear the move will accelerate the decline of one of the South’s few surviving Gullah-Geechee communities.

An aspect of the ordinance that residents take issue with is the fact that it erases a clause about protecting the island’s indigenous history.

During public meetings leading up to the vote, the zoning board proposed changes to the ordinance of lowering the newly allowed home size and removing talk of golf courses being added to the island.

Black residents of the Hogg Hummock community on Sapelo Island and their supporters packed a meeting of McIntosh County’s elected commissioners to oppose zoning changes that residents say favor wealthy buyers and will lead to tax increases that could pressure them to sell their land.

ISLAND’S HERITAGE

Gullah-Geechee communities like Hogg Hummock are scattered along the Southeast coast from North Carolina to Florida, where they have endured since their enslaved ancestors were freed by the Civil War. Scholars say these people long separated from the mainland retained much of their African heritage, from their unique dialect to skills and crafts such as cast-net fishing and weaving baskets.

Regardless, commissioners voted 3-2 to weaken zoning restrictions the county adopted nearly three decades ago with the stated intent to help Hogg Hummock’s 30 to 50 residents hold on to their land.

Yolanda Grovner, 54, of Atlanta said she has long planned to retire on land her father, an island native, owns in Hogg Hummock. She left the county courthouse Tuesday night wondering if that will ever happen.

“It’s going to be very, very difficult,” Grovner said. She added: “I think this is their way of pushing residents off the island.”

Hogg Hummock is one of just a few surviving communities in the South of people known as Gullah, or Geechee, in Georgia, whose ancestors worked island slave plantations.

MORE | Mom in Grovetown calls cops on U.S. energy secretary’s staff

Fights with the local government are nothing new to residents and landowners. Dozens successfully appealed staggering property tax hikes in 2012, and residents spent years fighting the county in federal court for basic services such as firefighting equipment and trash collection before county officials settled last year.

“We’re still fighting all the time,” said Maurice Bailey, a Hogg Hummock native whose mother, Cornelia Bailey, was a celebrated storyteller and one of Sapelo Island’s most prominent voices before her death in 2017. “They’re not going to stop. The people moving in don’t respect us as people. They love our food, they love our culture. But they don’t love us.”

Merden Hall, who asked not to be on camera, has lived on Sapelo his whole life. He says he’s worried about the sizes of homes now allowed on the island.

“I’m not comfortable with this. They approved the 3,000 square feet, that’s the only thing I disapprove of, because that’s going to raise property taxes,” he said.

Hogg Hummock’s population has been shrinking in recent decades, and some families have sold their land to outsiders who built vacation homes. New construction has caused tension over how large those homes can be.

Commissioners on Tuesday raised the maximum size of a home in Hogg Hummock to 3,000 square feet of total enclosed space. The previous limit was 1,400 square feet of heated and air-conditioned space.

Commissioner Davis Poole, who supported loosening the size restriction, said it would allow “a modest home enabling a whole family to stay under one roof.”

“The commissioners are not out to destroy the Gullah-Geechee culture or erase the history of Sapelo,” Poole said. “We’re not out to make more money for the county.”

Commission Chairman David Stevens, who said he’s been visiting Sapelo Island since the 1980s, blamed Hogg Hummock’s changing landscape on native owners who sold their land.

“I don’t need anybody to lecture me on the culture of Sapelo Island,” Stevens said, adding: “If you don’t want these outsiders, if you don’t want these new homes being built ... don’t sell your land.”

County officials have argued that size restrictions based on heated and cooled spaced proved impossible to enforce. County attorney Adam Poppell said more than a dozen homes in Hogg Hummock appeared to violate the limits, and in some cases homeowners refused to open their doors to inspectors.

Hogg Hummock landowner Richard Banks equated that to the county letting lawbreakers make the rules.

“If everybody wants to exceed the speed limit, should we increase the speed limits for all the speeders?” Banks said.

Hogg Hummock residents said they were blindsided when the county unveiled its proposed zoning changes on Aug. 16. Commissioners in July had approved sweeping zoning changes throughout McIntosh County, but had left Hogg Hummock alone.

Commissioner Roger Lotson, the only Black member of the county commission, voted against the changes and warned his colleagues that he fears they will end up back in court for rushing them.

Two attorneys from the Southern Poverty Law Center sat in the front row. Attorney Anjana Joshi said they had “due process and equal protection concerns” about the way the zoning ordinance was amended.

“In our view, this was not done correctly,” said Joshi, who added: “We’re just getting started.”

Located about 60 miles south of Savannah, Sapelo Island remains separated from the mainland and reachable only by boat. Since 1976, the state of Georgia has owned most of its 30 square miles of largely unspoiled wilderness. Hogg Hummock, also known as Hog Hammock, sits on less than a square mile.

Hogg Hummock earned a place in 1996 on the National Register of Historic Places, the official list of the United States’ treasured historic sites. But for protections to preserve the community, residents depend on the local government in McIntosh County, where 65% of the 11,100 residents are white.

[maximumwobblerbanditdonut]

Local Lens Scotland with Ewan & Colin McGregor

Ewan McGregor is coming home. This special episode of Local Lens, where the actor, director and goodwill ambassador reconnects with his brother, Colin, a former Royal Air Force fighter pilot turned instructor, in their homeland in the Scottish Highlands.

Ewan McGregor and his RAF fighter-pilot brother Colin take the trip they always dreamed of in the latest Local Lens episode directed by Stuart McIntyre, produced by production company Somesuch and serviced by production partner LS Productions.​

‘Ewan McGregor: A Brothers’ Guide to Scotland’ The chance to explore the Highlands, where they holidayed with their family as young boys, presented itself via Expedia’s Local Lens video series, and they seized it. The backdrop of the Cairngorms' lush mountains, shimmering lochs, and the majestic trees of The Hermitage forest, the brothers embark on a nostalgic adventure in search of the northern lights—a trip complete with laughs, memories, music, and sheep.

Ewan McGregor and Colin McGregor after taking to the skies over Scotland in an RAF Tornado jet. DAVID CHESKIN - PA IMAGES/PA IMAGES/GETTY

Produced by Somesuch for Expedia’s Local Lens series, the episode follows the pair as they travel from Colin’s home in Elgin, 175 miles north of Edinburgh, to the Scottish highlands in search of the northern lights.

​A love of adventure was a force bred strong in the brothers on childhood forays around their home country, forging an intimate bond. As Ewan says now, “When you know someone as well as your brother, you don’t need words.” They would take road trips with their parents, go hill-climbing, vacation on rugged Scottish beaches, and immerse themselves in water so unfathomably cold it fired them up for the rest of the day. “A lot of my memories are of us scrambling across cliffs and looking in rock pools,” says Ewan. “There’s a freedom about being a kid in this rugged, weathered landscape that’s just fantastic.”

A picnic stop reminds them of childhood: “Then, it was a white roll with one lopsided cheese slice”

The weekend’s adventure across the Cairngorms is no less memorable. Watch as Stuart candidly captures the pair as they bicker. Get nostalgic. Get side tracked. Even have a mishap with sheep and take a dip in a friend’s freezing loch. They stop for fuel and Tunnock’s teacakes, an iconic Scottish chocolate-and-marshmallow snack that transports them back to their childhoods. They have moments of awestruck silence and absolute solitude. But most of all, the episode touchingly records the brothers as they reconnect with each other—and with the spectacular, otherworldly terrain they grew up surrounded by.

The Cairngorms mountain range contains five of the six highest mountains in Scotland. Photo: Courtesy of Expedia

Stuart McIntyre a Canadian director. Recognised for his reverent depiction of sport and natural rapport with high-profile talent, his work is an exhilarating, high-octane style of realism.

The brothers emphasised spending some time in the great outdoors, hanging out with some friendly local farm animals, hiking through the Hermitage Forest, and trying to catch an elusive glimpse of the Northern Lights. Photo: Courtesy of Expedia.

Guests at the Ewe Bar can expect live music and a jovial, classic pub atmosphere. Photo: Courtesy of Expedia.

#Expedia

Photo: Courtesy of Expedia

The quaint one-bedroom cottage features a soaking tub, a fireplace, a zip line, and a fire pit. Photo: Courtesy of Expedia

"It's a very old, sort of rambly house, and the design of it is beautiful, very rustic and real," McGregor says of the Dell Cottage, where he stayed during the trip. Photo: Courtesy of Expedia

I love that they were making this video. This is the best one yet from Scotland. One’s a Hollywood star, the other a fighter pilot. But these famous brothers, have one key characteristic in common. Take in the majestic sights and sounds of the McGregor brothers’ adventure through the magnificent Highlands, on a voyage underpinned by childhood memories and encompassing the true and natural warmth and wit of Scotland. Jumping into lochs. Congrats to Colin and Ewan and Expedia Group who brought this wonderful film to life.

#Scotland #ColinMcGregor #EwanMcGregor McGregorbrothers #Highlands #ExpediaGroup #childhoodmemories #DellCottage #EweBar #RAFTornadojet #pilot #Expedia’sLocalLens #northernlights #StuartMcIntyre #Somesuch #LSProductions #childhoodbesttimeoflife #gettyimages #DavidCheskin #PAimages

Posted 25th March 2024

@hillandglen “Per Ardua Ad Astra” – Through Adversity’s to the Stars ✨

[saucy-mesothelioma]

October 14th: Folk Horror | The Ritual

The Ritual was released in 2017 and was directed by David Bruckner. Friends Luke (Rafe Spall), Dom (Sam Troughton), Hutch (Robert James-Collier), and Phil (Arsher Ali) reunite six months after the death of their mutual friend to go on a memorial hike in Sweden. During the hike Dom sprains his ankle, and the group decide to cut through the woods in order to make it back to the lodge in less time. But when they get lost, things take a dark turn as a menacing presence begins to stalk them through the vast trees.

Folk horror is a sub-genre that, despite existing since the 70s with such films as The Wicker Man, has gained far more traction in recent years. Movies like The VVitch and Midsommar are possibly among the most popular of modern folk-horror, but even then you would be hard-pressed to find those who have seen other lesser known folk horror films like No One Makes It Out Alive and the particular film I chose to represent this genre, The Ritual. I believe the reasoning behind this is because many folk horror films delve deep into symbolism, using many stories from various cultures as a representation of a certain subject. But because folk horror requires the viewer to not only take the time to interpret the symbolism but also relate it back to the story represented on screen, viewers simply looking for a scary movie might find these kinds of films boring and a waste of time. Although folk horror definitely isn't for everyone, it's a special sub-genre that allows for its viewers to partake in extensive interpretation and discussion if they so wish, and it often leads to many re-watches for the sake of discovery.

I could not find any platforms where you can watch it for free. Content Warnings for the Film (may contain spoilers): violence, jumpscares, dead animals (only aftermath shown), gore (not incredibly bad), psychological torture, mummified corpses

[the-graves-family]

No. 2: Trust issues

Adam doesn’t know why he’d agreed to this. A hike with his love had sounded great when it’d been brought up at dinner a few days ago, but he hadn’t realized they’d be hiking through a forest.

A forest of beech, and ash and maples.

It’s daytime, it’s nothing like that night, but Adam feels more unsteady with each step he takes. Every rustle of leaves behind him makes him flinch a little, curling his shoulders further and further. He’s expecting the cabin to appear from amidst the trees at any moment, dark and imposing. Thinking himself above trauma doesn’t actually mean he is. He feels vulnerable and exposed and like he’s seventeen again, writhing on the ground, bleeding from his head, the moon peeking behind the thick canopy above him as his brother reaches down.

“Churri, what’s wrong? You look—”

A heavy hand lands on his shoulder and Adam flinches hard, stumbling away from the presence behind him, falling on his ass as he trips on a tangle of roots. It’s not him, it’s not him. There’s no reason for his heart to be beating out of his chest, no reason for quiet whimpers, no reason at all.

The sun is shining brightly, the wind is warm and gentle. The cabin is hundreds of miles away, along with all the people inside it. The ones who abandoned him. Everything is okay, they can’t hurt him. He has to remind himself of that, and for a moment he feels pathetic. He should be past this.

Adam regrets everything as soon as he looks up, because David looks hurt. Hand still in the air where he’d laid it on his finacé’s shoulder.

They’ve never talked about it, not in detail. David knows he has a brother, and that they hadn’t parted on good terms. The details are vague, but the man isn’t dumb. Adam’s break from his family had been anything but pleasant. It’s in the way he shies away from touch, in the way he looks scared whenever he’s out of his workshop. He looks hunted anytime they’re out in public.

And Adam’s sure he looks hunted now, arms hurting from the fall, dirt and dead leaves staining his palms.

He’s hurt him. Even without meaning to.

“I’m—” He bites down on his apology and looks away, at the gnarled roots that had caused his fall. It won’t help. David is hurt, and he can guess why. Even after all their time together, all their love, all the work they’ve put into this relationship, Adam can’t help but to see someone else sometimes. It’s unfair. To the both of them.

“No, I’m sorry.”

That’s not right, David shouldn’t be the one apologizing. It doesn’t feel right, Adam is the one with an issue. He starts shaking his head, but suddenly his vision is filled with red plaid as strong arms wrap around him. David is a giant of a man, easily getting him back on his feet without ever letting go of him.

Adam melts into the hug. He’s not going to cry, that’d be ridiculous. But he soaks up the warmth and comfort his love provides.

“Let’s head home,” David murmurs into his hair, and Adam can’t help but to nod. Home, away from these memories that won’t leave him even in the daylight.

Walking back through the trail, hands clasped together in a risky display of affection, Adam looks back at the forest. No one stares back, the leaves aren’t slick with blood. But he still feels like something is hunting him.

Slowly. Methodically. Tirelessly.

Something is coming for him, and he doesn’t know if he’ll be able to outrun it forever.

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Rent control works

This Saturday (May 20), I’ll be at the GAITHERSBURG Book Festival with my novel Red Team Blues; then on May 22, I’m keynoting Public Knowledge’s Emerging Tech conference in DC.

On May 23, I’ll be in TORONTO for a book launch that’s part of WEPFest, a benefit for the West End Phoenix, onstage with Dave Bidini (The Rheostatics), Ron Diebert (Citizen Lab) and the whistleblower Dr Nancy Olivieri.

David Roth memorably described the job of neoliberal economists as finding “new ways to say ‘actually, your boss is right.’” Not just your boss: for decades, economists have formed a bulwark against seemingly obvious responses to the most painful parts of our daily lives, from wages to education to health to shelter:

https://popula.com/2023/04/30/yakkin-about-chatgpt-with-david-roth/

How can we solve the student debt crisis? Well, we could cancel student debt and regulate the price of education, either directly or through free state college.

How can we solve America’s heath-debt crisis? We could cancel health debt and create Medicare For All.

How can we solve America’s homelessness crisis? We could build houses and let homeless people live in them.

How can we solve America’s wage-stagnation crisis? We could raise the minimum wage and/or create a federal jobs guarantee.

How can we solve America’s workplace abuse crisis? We could allow workers to unionize.

How can we solve America’s price-gouging greedflation crisis? With price controls and/or windfall taxes.

How can we solve America’s inequality crisis? We could tax billionaires.

How can we solve America’s monopoly crisis? We could break up monopolies.

How can we solve America’s traffic crisis? We could build public transit.

How can we solve America’s carbon crisis? We can regulate carbon emissions.

These answers make sense to everyone except neoliberal economists and people in their thrall. Rather than doing the thing we want, neoliberal economists insist we must unleash “markets” to solve the problems, by “creating incentives.” That may sound like a recipe for a small state, but in practice, “creating incentives” often involves building huge bureaucracies to “keep the incentives aligned” (that is, to prevent private firms from ripping off public agencies).

This is how we get “solutions” that fail catastrophically, like:

Public Service Loan Forgiveness instead of debt cancellation and free college:

https://studentloansherpa.com/likely-ineligible/

The gig economy instead of unions and minimum wages:

https://www.newswise.com/articles/research-reveals-majority-of-gig-economy-workers-are-earning-below-minimum-wage

Interest rate hikes instead of price caps and windfall taxes:

https://www.npr.org/2023/05/03/1173371788/the-fed-raises-interest-rates-again-in-what-could-be-its-final-attack-on-inflati

Tax breaks for billionaire philanthropists instead of taxing billionaires:

https://memex.craphound.com/2018/11/10/winners-take-all-modern-philanthropy-means-that-giving-some-away-is-more-important-than-how-you-got-it/

Subsidizing Uber instead of building mass transit:

https://prospect.org/infrastructure/cities-turn-uber-instead-buses-trains/

Fraud-riddled carbon trading instead of emissions limits:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/05/27/voluntary-carbon-market/#trust-me

As infuriating as all of this “actually, your boss is right” nonsense is, the most immediate and continuously frustrating aspect of it is the housing crisis, which has engulfed cities all over the world, to the detriment of nearly everyone.

America led the way on screwing up housing. There were two major New Deal/post-war policies that created broad (but imperfect and racially biased) prosperity in America: housing subsidies and labor unions. Of the two, labor unions were the most broadly inclusive, most available across racial and gender lines, and most engaged with civil rights struggles and other progressive causes.

So America declared war on labor unions and told working people that their only path to intergenerational wealth was to buy a home, wait for it to “appreciate,” and sell it on for a profit. This is a disaster. Without unions to provide countervailing force, every part of American life has worsened, with stagnating wages lagging behind skyrocketing expenses for education, health, retirement, and long-term care. For nearly every homeowner, this means that their “most valuable asset” — the roof over their head — must be liquidated to cover debts. Meanwhile, their kids, burdened with six-figure student debt — will have little or nothing left from the sale of the family home with which to cover a downpayment in a hyperinflated market:

https://gen.medium.com/the-rents-too-damned-high-520f958d5ec5

Meanwhile, rent inflation is screaming ahead of other forms of inflation, burdening working people beyond any ability to pay. Giant Wall Street firms have bought up huge swathes of the country’s housing stock, transforming it into overpriced, undermaintained slums that you can be evicted from at the drop of a hat:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/02/08/wall-street-landlords/#the-new-slumlords

Transforming housing from a human right to an “asset” was always going to end in a failure to build new housing stock and regulate the rental market. It’s reaching a breaking point. “Superstar cities” like New York and San Francisco have long been priced out of the reach of working people, but now they’re becoming unattainable for double-income, childless, college-educated adults in their prime working years:

https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2023/05/15/upshot/migrations-college-super-cities.html

A city that you can’t live in is a failure. A system that can’t provide decent housing is a failure. The “your boss is right, actually” crowd won: we don’t build public housing, we don’t regulate rents, and it suuuuuuuuuuuuuuucks.

Maybe we could try doing things instead of “aligning incentives?”

Like, how about rent control.

God, you can already hear them squealing! “Price controls artificially distort well-functioning markets, resulting in a mismatch between supply and demand and the creation of the dreaded deadweight loss triangle!”

Rent control “causes widespread shortages, leaving would-be renters high and dry while screwing landlords (the road to hell, so says the orthodox economist, is paved with good intentions).”

That’s been the received wisdom for decades, fed to us by Chicago School economists who are so besotted with their own mathematical models that any mismatch between the models’ predictions and the real world is chalked up to errors in the real world, not the models. It’s pure economism: “If economists wished to study the horse, they wouldn’t go and look at horses. They’d sit in their studies and say to themselves, ‘What would I do if I were a horse?’”

https://pluralistic.net/2022/10/27/economism/#what-would-i-do-if-i-were-a-horse

But, as Mark Paul writes for The American Prospect, rent control works:

https://prospect.org/infrastructure/housing/2023-05-16-economists-hate-rent-control/

Rent control doesn’t constrain housing supply:

https://dornsife.usc.edu/pere/rent-matters

At least some of the time, rent control expands housing supply:

https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/j.1467-9906.2007.00334.x

The real risk of rent control is landlords exploiting badly written laws to kick out tenants and convert their units to condos — that’s not a problem with rent control, it’s a problem with eviction law:

https://web.stanford.edu/~diamondr/DMQ.pdf

Meanwhile, removing rent control doesn’t trigger the predicted increases in housing supply:

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0094119006000635

Rent control might create winners (tenants) and losers (landlords), but it certainly doesn’t make everyone worse off — as the neoliberal doctrine insists it must. Instead, tenants who benefit from rent control have extra money in their pockets to spend on groceries, debt service, vacations, and child-care.

Those happier, more prosperous people, in turn, increase the value of their landlords’ properties, by creating happy, prosperous neighborhoods. Rent control means that when people in a neighborhood increase its value, their landlords can’t kick them out and rent to richer people, capturing all the value the old tenants created.

What is life like under rent control? It’s great. You and your family get to stay put until you’re ready to move on, as do your neighbors. Your kids don’t have to change schools and find new friends. Old people aren’t torn away from communities who care for them:

https://ideas.repec.org/a/uwp/landec/v58y1982i1p109-117.html

In Massachusetts, tenants with rent control pay half the rent that their non-rent-controlled neighbors pay:

https://economics.mit.edu/sites/default/files/publications/housing%20market%202014.pdf

Rent control doesn’t just make tenants better off, it makes society better off. Rather than money flowing from a neighborhood to landlords, rent control allows the people in a community to invest it there: opening and patronizing businesses.

Anything that can’t go on forever will eventually stop. As the housing crisis worsens, states are finally bringing back rent control. New York has strengthened rent control for the first time in 40 years:

https://www.nytimes.com/2019/06/12/nyregion/rent-regulation-laws-new-york.html

California has a new statewide rent control law:

https://www.nytimes.com/2019/09/11/business/economy/california-rent-control.html

They’re battling against anti-rent-control state laws pushed by ALEC, the right-wing architects of model legislation banning action on climate change, broadband access, and abortion:

https://www.nmhc.org/research-insight/analysis-and-guidance/rent-control-laws-by-state/

But rent control has broad, democratic support. Strong majorities of likely voters support rent control:

https://www.bostonglobe.com/2023/03/07/metro/new-statewide-poll-shows-strong-support-rent-control/

And there’s a kind of rent control that has near unanimous support: the 30-year fixed mortgage. For the 67% of Americans who live in owner-occupied homes, the existence of the federally-backed (and thus federally subsidized) fixed mortgage means that your monthly shelter costs are fixed for life. What’s more, these costs go down the longer you pay them, as mortgage borrowers refinance when interest rates dip.

We have a two-tier system: if you own a home, then the longer you stay put, the cheaper your “rent” gets. If you rent a home, the longer you stay put, the more expensive your home gets over time.

America needs a shit-ton more housing — regular housing for working people. Mr Market doesn’t want to build it, no matter how many “incentives” we dangle. Maybe it’s time we just did stuff instead of building elaborate Rube Goldberg machines in the hopes of luring the market’s animal sentiments into doing it for us.

Catch me on tour with Red Team Blues in Toronto, DC, Gaithersburg, Oxford, Hay, Manchester, Nottingham, London, and Berlin!

If you’d like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here’s a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/05/16/mortgages-are-rent-control/#housing-is-a-human-right-not-an-asset

[Image ID: A beautifully laid dining room table in a luxury flat. Outside of the windows looms a rotting shanty town with storm-clouds overhead.]

Image: ozz13x (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Shanty_Town_Hong_Kong_China_March_2013.jpg

Matt Brown (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Dining_room_in_Centre_Point_penthouse.jpg

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