#darn fame shine

[queeniecook]

"I've Gotta Get Through This " - Part 2

I invested in a used punching bag. My weight had always gone up and down since I hit puberty. I wasn’t worried about that so much, I was used to it. Didn’t bother me. But I did want to be somewhat healthy. Not one of those health nuts but not someone who drinks bacon grease. Somewhere in the middle.

Yeah, I couldn’t be a health nut. Too many foods called to me.

My little Cleo had calmed down after I spayed her and was no longer plotting revenge against me. I was thankful she found me in the snow that winter night months ago.

As fall arrived, I decided to give playing a guitar a try. I wasn’t good at it, but I enjoyed it. I also enjoyed singing. In fact, I loved it.

“It’s been a year since I moved to this town.” I said quietly to Cleo, who was purring and falling asleep in my arms.

Yes. It had been a year. A year since I had seen him. A year since I left my old town behind and started a new life. A lot had changed. Not just in my life, but I had changed a bit. I put more effort into my appearance. Granted, I kind of had to. But it was different for me. I was more guarded and closed off then I used to be. I wasn’t sure that was a good thing. My thoughts on my future included many things. Not just one person. I saw that as good.

I got promoted to Meme Maker and to a B-Lister. I celebrated. By myself of course. I thought about inviting Paka’a out to celebrate with me, but decided not to. We had actually kept in touch via social media and texting. But hadn’t actually saw each other since that one day on the beach. I wasn’t worried about it though. I didn’t have any expectations of friendship with him. Or anyone else for that matter.

I had the friend I needed. One that cuddled with me at night, sat by my side while I made videos and brought me mystery gifts from outside from time to time.

Thanksgiving came and it was a disaster.

For some reason, everything in my house kept breaking. I thought I was being haunted. Someone at work said there’s these little gnomes that go around during Thanksgiving or as the town calls it “Harvestfest” and if they don’t like you, they make your life living hell that day. Guess I ticked one off or something.

I eventually gave up on even trying to cook. After I fixed and cleaned everything, Cleo and I had pizza for as our holiday meal.

Well. Cleo had pizza and a bird. Ick. She thought she had to give me some of it’s feathers. Not cool, cat.

I  was still pretty stressed and went to bed that way….

I dreamed of him. Sitting at my table. Eating Thanksgiving dinner.

I woke up after that. It was 3 in the morning. I had to get up and do something. I couldn’t just stay in bed after that.

I went to the Living Room and watched some mindless TV. I needed mindless at that moment. I didn’t understand why my stupid brain had to dream of him from time to time. I hated it. I wanted him removed from my memories. The worse part was, it still hurt. It wasn’t quite as bad as when it first happened, but it still hurt. Which made me not sad, but angry. If he had been in front of me, I would have nailed him in the head with a skillet.

I finally calmed down and got sleepy enough to go back to bed.

I awoke the next morning with an idea. An idea that would allow me to focus on something new and time consuming.

“We’re going to remodel our house, Cleo.”

<-previous

[colleendoran]

OK, so you are looking at a comic I did back in 1990 that changed my life in so many ways. Not the way you’re thinking of.

It taught me some very important lessons about the comics business, fame, and more importantly, how fame doesn’t rub off. And how having reasonable expectations will keep you centered and on the right path.

Many people don’t internalize this lesson. And now that our industry is no longer just Fandom Culture but is now Celebrity Culture, we see more and more creators with incredibly unrealistic expectations getting into comics, expecting the sun and moon to rise out of whatever they do, and being disappointed and frustrated when they don't.

I got occasional mainstream comics work in the early 1980’s, but I was still looking for my big break years later, especially since a major gig I was working on got shelved forever. I cannot even begin to tell you just how much being out of the eyes of the market for YEARS at a time while you work on a gig - and then the gig never coming out - can absolutely sink your brand.

Nowadays we have social media. Back then, you had no way to be seen if your work wasn’t being published. People forgot about you in about 15 minutes.

So when I got a gig working on Amazing Spider-Man, you bet I was thrilled. And even more thrilled when the darned thing sold like crazy. This issue of Amazing Spider-Man outsold previous Todd MacFarlane issues. And I knew Marvel was looking for a new artist. Huzzah! I outsold Todd! Maybe the new artist should be me!

You can imagine how pleased and excited I was to go to conventions and sign copies of a book that hundreds of thousands of fans bought. It was fun getting my first big lines of fans. I thought it would be a perfect opportunity to push my other works to them as well.

But few Spider-Man fans were interested in my other books. They could not possibly care less about Amethyst: Princess of Gemworld, that’s for sure.

The Spider-Man glow was gone in no time. And Marvel picked Erik Larsen to be the regular artist.

I might as well have never worked on Spider-Man for all the long term good it did. Were it not for that one brief shining moment of royalty check (which was darned good,) it had no effect on my prospects.

While I got more work at Marvel, I was scrambling to make a living and took on too much, doing sub-par art that didn’t please anyone.

I realized pretty quickly that Spider-Man’s fans weren’t my fans. I might as well have been a spark plug on that issue. Fans lined up, got me to sign a book, and forgot about me the next day. 

(Yeah I know some people say they love that comic, but I often hear from people who tell me how much they hated my art back then and how much they grew to love it later. Thank you, I’ll take it.)

Anyway, it was all a very tough lesson. But I appreciate that I learned it early before I got to the point where I could never learn it.

Fame isn’t transitive. It doesn’t rub off.

The public needs more than your proximity to something they know to transfer their attention to you and your work.

A lot of people got a taste of this in the early 1990’s. For a while, self-publishing was The Big Thing. I self published A Distant Soil and did well for some years, at one point making more than I could in mainstream comics, until the market crashed in 1996. A lot of creators thought if they just went to Image Comics, they’d all be millionaires.

That didn’t happen for almost all of them.

An old frenemy saw how well I was doing self publishing and assumed that if they just transferred their mainstream comics fan base to their creator owned work, they’d get rich.

But that didn’t happen. Their self-published work sold a fraction of what mine did. Their project died in the red. I never got my art back, including work from an unpublished future issue of the project. I remember being with this creator at a show and enduring their fury at how fans weren’t paying attention to them and their project. 

How could this happen? They were a star mainstream creator!

The mainstream cred did not transfer to the other work. The fans wanted the famous characters, not the indie project they were trying to push.

There was no point in explaining this either. I’d learned this lesson myself, but this person never learned it.

Most people never learn it.

How is it that I work on Famous This or with Famous Person and why am I not famous Too?

Because fame isn’t transitive.

I’ve worked on projects that got a lot (and I mean a lot) of buzz, but there are projects that didn’t necessarily set the world on fire that did more for me as an artist and for my finances than “big” projects did. 

Reign of the Zodiac and The Book of Lost Souls, both early/mid 2000’s comics with mediocre sales set me on a solid financial footing because they are two of the few regular monthly gigs I’ve done in all my years working in comics. That monthly paycheck paid more than the projects I’d done before them. The financial and emotional stability was beyond price. I loved everything about those projects. 

Except for their premature demise.

The one and only famous project that had a major transformative afterglow effect re: me and my work was Sandman. I met Neil Gaiman years before I worked on Sandman, before he was famous. I only worked on two issues. Many other artists were far more important to the project than me, of course. Then I went for nearly twenty years solid without working with Neil at all except on a pinup and short story adaptation of Troll Bridge that almost no one remembers. 

I started working with Neil again when he saw some art I did for a book for Tori Amos back in 2008. Tori Amos fans didn’t flock to my side when they saw it, yet another example of how Famous People Fame Doesn’t Rub Off. But I lavished time and attention on the project, did the art on spec with a completely new style and process, and showed it to Neil. I asked Neil if he’d take a chance at working with me again after lo, these many years and let me have a go again at adapting the story Troll Bridge that I’d botched in 1998. Neil said yes.

After The Book of Lost Souls got killed back in 2006, I could barely get arrested in comics and I wasn’t sure I had a future. I was shocked that Neil said yes. 

That Tori Amos job reestablished my working relationship with Neil and brought me to Dark Horse Comics, a publisher which had shown little prior interest in my stuff.

It took me years to complete Troll Bridge and during that time, Peter David contacted me to ask if I’d work on Stan Lee’s autobiography. That came out of the blue, and boy did I appreciate it. It sold like crazy, which was unexpected, really.

So I went from Not Being Able to Get Arrested in Comics in 2008, doing 1$ sketch cards and working for page rates I worked for in 1986, to Not Being Able to Remember What I am Doing Because I have Too Much To Do in 2022. I mean literally couldn’t remember I did a pinup for a gig back in February, and I not only forgot about it, I didn’t know it was published last June.

It looks like I had a super fast and fun run up if you’re just looking at my highlight reel. But it wasn’t. I’ve had peaks and valleys, (a few very fine peaks, the best being around 1993 and the other now), and sometimes the “big time” projects I thought would make my career held me back worse than the “small time” ones. “Big time” projects got shelved or came and went, quickly forgotten, and I said no to other projects while I was busy, and the one that got away ended up getting made into a multi-million dollar film franchise that would have set me up for life.

Ow.

If just being next to a famous person or working on a famous project was a guarantor of success, than I’d have been hugely successful every day of my adult life. 

That is not how it works.

Even the famous people are not as all that as you think, otherwise you wouldn’t see so many actors with haunted looks on their faces at conventions.

I met Neil before he was famous, but it took over thirty years for me to establish a solid working relationship with him.

Thirty. 

Years.

I’ve worked with famous wrestlers, actors, musicians, politicians, a Pulitzer Prize winning author, and on almost every single major licensed character there is. And I’m not super-famous or rich. I mean, I never wanted to be famous in the first place, but I’m not completely unknown in my field, and I’m not poor (anymore). Still, seriously, folks. I’m not going to movie premieres and living in Hollywood. 

I actually get asked about that, and I think it’s so funny.

I was watching some recent art auctions, and I was absolutely shocked to see original pages by an Eisner-nominated creator go for rock bottom prices, mainstream interiors at around $50 per page. I could not believe it. This artist is over 40 years old. I wonder if things will turn around for them.

Time will tell.

In the end, it’s not all about the people you’re standing next to. Or the character. Or the company. Or the award. And it's certainly not all about you.

Fans are here for you one minute, and forget about you tomorrow. Then you get $50 for your Eisner nominated art.

Art either takes off or it doesn’t. You either take off or you don’t. 

And then you can fly too close to the sun and fall.

Worse yet…you just fade and no one even notices that you crashed beautifully into the surf.

If people knew what the magic formula was, they’d be selling it and everyone would have what they want out of their art life.

But there is no magic formula. There just isn’t.

Everyone wants to be special to someone. Especially artists. Everything you create is special to you.

But it is extremely rare that what you create is as special to others as it is to you. Sometimes artists are just like everyone else. 

Here and gone.

Fame and success is not transitive. And they're not forever.

That’s the lesson.

I'm working on Good Omens right now. The Kickstarter pre-sign up news is here. No, it's not an icky newsletter, it will just let you know when the Kickstarter launches.

I have a Patreon. I'm funding the final volume of my space opera A DISTANT SOIL with it, but I won't be working on it again until Good Omens is complete. I have one of the most active and productive Patreons on the site.

I'm also on Twitter and Facebook and Instagram. Not too much though, they are distraction pits.

Make art because you love it. Because the rest...well, good luck. If it happens for you...it happens. And I hope it does.

[the-mess-of-a-dreamerrr]

Labyrinth - January 12, 2023

Him and I don’t talk much about the elephant in the room.

The BIG elephant (no, not Alabama Football).

The fact that I am married.

When he asks how my day was I have to avoid the main topics. I could've spent my day at the doctor sobbing on a table and come home to an argument big enough to lose it all and still only tell him about work. I can't talk about anything major in my life because all of it intertwined with my spouse. There is always going to be items withheld. Topics that can't be broached. There are parts of me that I can't show. He says he wants to see all sides but in reality I could never. I know what he would say to each one.

To me, it's easier to talk with him when everything is going okay. When things in my marriage is turned upside down I end up staying up all night questioning my emotions. Separating what I feel from the chasms of unmet needs. Questioning my intentions and my desires. The nights are sleepless. I feel myself in those moments pulling away. I feel him questioning whats different.

Then again does that make it worse? Why when things are great in my marriage do I feel better about enjoying the company of another man? I feel like no matter which way the coin is tossed I always am on the wrong side. I don't know how to right the ship. I think I'm constantly going to be tossed around until I slowly start to splinter and then break.

I think about my life a lot like a book. With chapters and parts to organize the mess. Authors have main characters but another important character they create is a supporting role. These people are written in to help further a plot along. The book isn’t about them but they may have a chapter or two dedicated to them. I’ve spent a lot of my life waiting for those one to two chapters of fame. Knowing that my time holding someone’s attention was limited. To enjoy the friendship and laughs while the iron is hot because sooner or later they will get the big job they’ve been working towards, finally have that baby, find friends that fit in their life better, etc etc. the list goes on. I know what it feels like to be in the dark after the curtain closes. It’s a feeling I never want to give someone else. I never want him to think that I am just using him. That he is there just to fill an emotional need that isn't currently being met. I never want what we have to be cheapened to seem careless.

Then again, I think of my role in his life. I know what my part to play is and I've already hurt and wailed to the sea about it. I've made my peace. I know why he came back I know why his heart made the shift.

I already know what is going to signal the end of this. The writing on the wall. They are staring us in the face all while we tiptoe around them. We think if we are just are silent enough they wont come at all. If we ignore them long enough maybe it'll go away. Spoiler: its not. I know the scenes before they even play out. I've rehearsed them in my head so many times that I've questioned if they've happened already and I'm just in a state of shock or denial. But even with this knowledge I just put my dancing shoes on. Continuing dancing around it because this is my gosh darn chapter to shine.

-MV

[royallyprincesslilly]

Title: Love, Maybe? {32}

Chris Evans X Reader OFC Vixen Giovanni

Warning: Cursing, Plot, Slow, Smoldering, Torturous Burn 😊, 

Word Count: 7.2K

Summary: After a night of drunkenness you wake up next to warm, hot as hell body, a migraine and no memory of the night before. When you come to realize that the hot body belongs to none other than Hollywood’s golden boy Chris Evans you freak out. As events unfold you become even more panicked to find out you got married in your drunken haze. What else is there to do but get it annulled, right? Before walking away, you share one more night of molten kisses and passion. Three years later you are still living with the repercussions of your brash decisions, but the surprises don’t stop there. The past has a way of coming back and have you questioning is this fate that you’ve been running from, hell could it have been love, maybe?

Note: Italic texts is an inner Vixen thought. Bold Italic texts is an inner Chris thought.

**Slightly Edited/Proofread**

***Interactive***

Thank you guys for reading!!!! If you enjoyed this please LIKE, COMMENT, REBLOG. 😊 ❤️  ❤️ ❤️

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 32: The Big Two!!!

-Vixen-

  “Everyone ready?”

  Your parents, Nexus and Chris all nodded. You opened the door, and all of you walked into Ella’s room. She was still fast asleep. As you approached, you all just gawked at her sleeping frame. She was sheer perfection. You had a flash of the last two years and every milestone, every smile, every ounce of joy she’d brought you and you teared up. Nexus nudged you, and you looked around at them as the tears fell.

  “Sorry. Okay, let’s go.”

  Everyone began singing “happy birthday.” By the time you got to the third repetition, Ella stirred and opened her eyes to look at all of you sing. Her smile lite up her face, and she slid to the headboard of the bed to watch all of you. Her big eyes went to each of you. She was only two, but you knew her soul was much older. She saw with more than just her eyes. When the song finished Dodger bounded in leaping onto the bed and licked at her face. She giggled and squirmed around the bed. Chris took hold of Dodger trying to get him under control through his laughs.

  “Happy Birthday Kristella,” you said holding out the extra large cupcake to her that had two lit candles sticking out. She smiled widely.

“Make a wish lucky charm,” your father urged. Ella put a thoughtful look on her face then smiled again.

  “I want a pony.” Everyone laughed and shook their heads.

  “Nice try.” She giggled and blew out the candles. Everyone around her clapped their hands and cheered. Even Dodger got in on the noise and barked to his heart’s content. You handed her the cupcake, and she wasted no time devouring it. Dodger licked at her lap catching every crumb that fell then jumped on her again licking at her mouth, trying to literally take the food out her mouth.

  You stood there watching her and looked around to your family, Chris included. This was his first birthday with her, and despite everything you were happy he was around. His eyes met yours, and he scrunched his nose as if asking if you were okay. Nodding you focused back on Ella and sat beside her.

  “So, birthday girl, what do you want to do?”

  “Poowl.”

  Again, everyone laughed. The next several minutes were spent in her room, chatting and laughing and just enjoying being together. Last year this time it was just your family and a few of your friends. This year things would be a lot different and a lot more crowded.

  Every time your eyes met Chris’,  you could tell he was full of emotion. You worried he was thinking about the fact he’d missed two birthdays before this one. You hoped he wasn’t resenting you for it. When he was the first to look away that worry turned into a deep fear. It had to have been a lot, you thought to yourself. As easy as you wanted the day to go you had a nagging feeling that today would not go as planned.

  After everyone sat in amazement just watching her, breakfast was on the agenda next. You made your father’s famous cornmeal porridge, and everyone enjoyed it even Chris, who admitted it was his first time having the staple dish from your childhood. Everyone joked because he’d never had any black in his life until now, then teased him about that old tired line “Once you go black you never go back.” You rolled your eyes at them when their eyes fell to you and made sure to refrain from looking at Chris. He was gracious about the teasing and even slid in a little joke about “once you go white you just might take a second bite.” You thought back to the same thought you had three years ago when you first saw him in the bed. Everyone loved it and hollered with laughter. That was when you knew your parents and even your sister had fully accepted him into the fold. Yet another chain was secured around you and Ella.  

  After breakfast and a little pool time, you, Nexus, and Chris went to the venue to inspect the grounds leaving Ella behind with your parents. What you saw when you got there blew your mind. It looked like a two-year-old’s dream come to life. Everything she could possibly want was there, balloons galore, bouncy houses of plenty, games, and sweets. That was just the beginning though. When you saw the actual living pony your jaw dropped. You knew just who to look at.

  Chris pinched his lips and tried to give you an innocent look. You weren’t buying it. “A pony, Chris, really?”

  “Look, my daughter said she wanted a pony for her birthday, and I am gonna give her that darn pony.” His tone was assertive but playful all at once. Everyone snickered around you. You simply shook your head.

  “Two and already you’re wrapped around her pinky. It’s sad, Evans.” He smiled wide and fanned you off.

  The inspection continued, and everything you saw was perfect. It was just how you’d imagined, and the venue itself was so beautiful. Nature was Ella’s thing. She loved flowers and being out on the grass and sunshine, so this place was a no brainer. Not to mention it was private and secure. Chris made sure to hire plenty of security for the day and made sure this was kept top secret. You both were on the same page about keeping Ella protected at all costs. Fame was a disease, and it spread quickly if precautions were not taken—Chris’ words.

  You spoke with the catering manager who was setting up and inspected all the dishes. If you weren’t doing the cooking you wanted to remain as hands-on as possible when it came to the food. It was tough for you to just leave it up to someone else; it was an important day. After fifteen minutes of checking and overseeing, you stepped away tried to get away from momzilla mode. You made it to a nearby creek and stared into the water at the Koi fish happily flitting in the water. It was relaxing, so relaxing you didn’t hear Chris approach.

  “So, everything to your liking?” You nodded.

  “Yes, they did incredible. Ella will love it.”

  “Good, I’m glad. I’m really excited for her to see it. I can already imagine her big ol’ eyes,” Chris said while bugging his eyes for emphasis. He looked just like her.

  “It’s insane how much you two look alike. That was all her just now.” He smiled wide again.

  “Was it hard?”

  “Was what hard?” He was staring into the creek; then, he looked to you.

  “Was it hard having her look so much like me?”

  You held his gaze and bit your tongue. What were you going to say?

  “Hell yeah, it was hard. You try looking at your child and seeing her father who shredded my self confidence and trust I had in my ability to read and assess people.”

  You cleared your throat and looked away back to the fish. “I uh—I don’t think I know what you mean.”

  “Yeah, you do.”

  You scoffed, he’d just called you out and seen right through your façade. You didn’t know how you felt about that. Again, you cleared your throat.

  “I mean—it wasn’t easy.” Chris nodded but kept quiet. After almost two minutes, he began again.

  “Vixen, about that night and yesterday--.”

  “Vix!”

  The two of you looked back to see Nexus waving you over. You nodded. “Come on.” You walked off first.

  The five of you finished looking over the venue and signing off on everything then made your way back to the house. On the drive, your mind was a thousand miles away. You wondered what he was going to say before he was interrupted. It could have been anything, and that was what made you think even harder about it. Was he going to apologize for it? Maybe, say he regretted it?

  Before you knew it, the near forty-minute drive was over, and you were again back at the house. Once you climbed out Ella was running toward you completely naked with a massive smile on her face. Your laugh was the loudest it had been in weeks. Back in San Francisco Ella loved to walk around naked. At any given moment she would rip all her clothes off and just chill in the nude. It was hilarious when you were home but not so funny when you were out, and she had the urge for freedom. You lifted her in your arms and tickled her.

  “She literally jumped out of the bath when she heard the car,” your mother informed. Laughing, you kissed her all over her face.

  “Naked again, huh.” Ella smiled wide and nodded.

  “No cwose.”

  “Really? So that means you’re not going to wear the amazing dress I got you for your big day?” Ella looked to you with curiosity shining in her eyes.

  “Yeah, it’s gorgeous. Pink. Poofy. Oh so cute, and did I say unicorns?” Her eyes lit up, and you smiled.

  “But if you don’t want to wear clothes, then we’ll just have to throw it in the garbage.” You put her down and continued to walk. She stood there in the front yard, and you knew the look on her face was a focused defiant one. She was weighing her options. You knew before you got to the door she’d be whistling a different tune.

  Sure enough, once you stepped off the grass, she screamed.

  “Mama, no thow way, mine.” You smiled.

  “You have to catch me to get it.” You ran back onto the grass, and she chased you. Every time she was close you evaded her. The defiant look faded, and she was soon laughing and squealing.

  “Da-da, hewp!” As if on command, Chris chased after you with serious intent in his eyes. You took off and evaded him as well.

  After a minute, the two of them had ganged up on you and were coming from either side of you. Chris ducked down and grasped your legs then threw you over his shoulder, forcing a scream from you.

  “Got her!” Ella squealed and ran to his side. With his other hand, he took her up and threw her over his other shoulder.

  “Gah oo mama, gah oo.”

  Another ten minutes found you and Ella in her bathtub together, just like old times. As you washed, you played and chatted about random things. You loved moments like these with her. Loved when everything slowed down and nothing else mattered but you and her talking, laughing and cuddling. You were so in love with this little girl you doubted you could love another living soul this way.  A little more than halfway through, the bathroom door opened and Chris stood there half dressed. When he realized what he’d walked in on he immediately turned his back.

  “I’m sorry. I thought you were giving her a bath, not taking one.”

  You didn’t feel embarrassed or even shy. You should have, the last time you’d been this naked in front of him was the night at his house. You felt the opposite of shy or embarrassed. “It’s fine. You can turn around. It’s nothing you haven’t seen before.”

  “Where the hell did that come from?”

  Chris’ back remained turned. “That was a long time ago. Time changes everything.” You smirked.

  “Are you saying--.” Chris cleared his throat loudly.

  “I don’t know what I’m saying.”

  “You can turn around, Chris.”

  Slowly he turned to face you. You saw his eyes quickly roam lower than your face, but they snapped right back up.

  “I um—I actually came to give Ella a gift.” You nodded, and he proceeded and approached the side of the tub then stooped down.

  “Um—Ella--.” He froze and looked like a deer caught in headlights. You wondered what he was thinking or what was wrong. You couldn’t decipher the look, but you did recognize something that looked like fear.

  “Chris?”

  He shook his head, took a deep breath, and released it. “Later.” He stood and walked out the bathroom leaving you stunned and confused. Ella, on the other hand, went right back to playing with her toys.

  “What the heck was that?”

  ~~~~~~~~

  When you all walked downstairs, everyone was waiting for you. “May I present, Kristella Raelle the official birthday girl.”

  She came downstairs decked out in her unicorn birthday tutu outfit with a bright smile. Everyone let out an audible “aw.”

  “It meeee!” She posed with her hands high in the air. Just like that, she stole the show. Chris came forward and dropped to one knee and gently took her hand.

“You’re a beautiful princess.” Ella smiled shyly, then hid her face on his chest and latched her arms around his neck. Chris wrapped his arms around her and hugged her. Your eyes met Nexus’ who smiled and looked near melting. She was supposed to be the strong one.

  When you all walked outside a bus, and another car pulled up. Once they parked, Anthony got out the car and walked toward Nexus, and all the Evans’ poured out the bus that was playing some kidz bop playlist. You looked to Nexus who was hugging onto Anthony before she let him go to shake your father’s hand and kiss your mother’s cheek. When he came up to you he hugged you.

  “What a surprise.”

  “Is it really? Wherever she is, I’ll go,” Anthony responded with a smile and wink to your sister. You smiled.

  “Thank you for coming, man.” Chris greeted him with a brotherly hug.

  “Of course. Am I officially the godfather yet? I’d make an amazing black godfather right.” You laughed and shook your head.

  “Play your cards right, and you might be uncle instead,” you hinted. Anthony gave a wide toothy smile as he rubbed the back of his neck.

“Really, the “not the settling down kind” is settling down?”

  “Enough about me--.” He bent down to Ella, took her hand, and shook it. “Hi there birthday girl, I’m Anthony. Happy birthday!” She smiled and nodded.

  “I two.”

  “I see. A great age. Your auntie Nex has your gift for later, okay.” Ella nodded just as Chris’ family came over.

  “What are you guys doing here?

  “We talked with Vixen, she thought it would be nice to have everyone arrive together, that way the kids can all get some time together,” Carly informed. Chris looked at you, and you smiled and nodded.

  You watched Chris’ niece and nephews run to Ella and hug her. Surprisingly she accepted the hugs and didn’t cry. When Chris’ niece took her hand and led her toward the bus, Ella walked off with them. After a few steps, she stopped and looked back at you. Giving her a reassuring nod, you fanned her off. She smiled and continued walking. The rest of you followed and climbed onto the bus that was decked out with everything a kid could want. It didn’t take long for the pre-party to start and you were relieved there was no tension in the air.

  ~~~~~~~~

“Oh my god, it’s perfect,” Lisa exclaimed taking in every detail.

  You had to admit it was even more astonishing completed. There were already quite a few people there, and you guessed they were friends of Chris and his family. As you walked around, you were relieved when you saw some of your friends from San Fran. Drea, Jia, Joan, and Angie pulled you into a group hug. It was a hug you didn’t know you needed, a hug you were grateful for. They all spoke at once about different things; Drea talked about the venue, Joan about the other party guest, Angie talked about the cute guys, and Jai about how cute Ella looked.

  All of them played a significant role in making you who you were now. You and Joan went to culinary school together and became thick as thieves. Jai and Drea were your college friends, and they were the ones to credit to your wild party ways back in Vegas. Angie was a mutual friend of yours and Nexus who you’d met her through. All of them knew you before you had what you had now. All of them were there for you when they found out you were pregnant and all of them had remained by your side. You were nervous to have them here to officially meet Chris. When all the revelations began you’d told them over group Facetime and all their jaws hit the floor. None of them spoke badly about you, they joked about how much of a freak you were, but they never degraded you.

  Ella ran to your legs giggling. All your friends dropped down to her and fawned all over her and how cute she looked. Ella ate it up. She loved being the center of attention, loved being complimented. You watched on adoringly and shook your head at her antics. When she’d had enough, she ran away again, finding one of her cousins. From across the grass your eyes met Chris’. He smiled warmly, and it made your heart pound.

  “Let’s hit the bar,” Angie’s voice broke through before you were pulled away, breaking the eye contact.

  You passed several people and welcomingly smiled at each of them. Once you got to the bar and ordered your drinks, the six of you then found some seats away from any groups.

  “Finally. Girl, there are a lot of white guys here.” You laughed loudly and shook your head.

  “You are in Boston.”

  “Speaking of Boston. Vixen! Your baby daddy is Chris fuckin’ Evans!”

  Nexus clasped her hand over Jai’s mouth. You hoped no one heard her.

  “Sorry, but my god. Who knew you had that much fun in Vegas.” Again the six of you cackled.

  “No wonder Ella has blue eyes. Like how we didn’t put two and two together is unfathomable,” Drea added.

  “So, how are things going with you two?”

  “Fine. He’s adjusting. He’s really good with Ella. She told me the other day she likes him. things are—surprisingly great.”

  “And how are things down—there,” Joan signaled to your crotch. You gasped and gaped at her.

  “Oh hell no, that is how we know the situation is dire,” Angie exclaimed. The five of them laughed at you. You weren’t amused. Glaring at Nexus she pinched her lips.

  “Hey, hey, we can’t all gang up on her.”

  “Maybe that’s what she needs to finally, finally, finally get a nut.”

  Your jaw dropped. You could not believe they were ganging up on you about your sex life—or lack thereof.

  “On second thought, I can believe it.”

  You sipped your drink and sat quietly with your nose turned up like some uppity housewife.

  “Okay, Vixen. What is the problem?”

  “There is no problem? We are parents; we share a child. Neither of us want anything beyond that,” you flat out lied through your teeth. You were surprised the good lord didn’t strike you down.

  They all just stared at you, not speaking one word. Each of their expressions equated to one collective thought.

  “You are a damn liar, and we know it,” Jai voiced. They all nodded collectively.

  “Vixen?” Looking back, you saw Chris approaching with his hands up.

  “Sorry, I don’t mean to interrupt.”

  “Oh you are not interrupting at all. Chris let me introduce you to our friends--,” Nexus began as she stood. “This is Drea.” She took his offered hand and curtsied like he was some royal. “Jai.”

  Jai took his hand with the tips of hers and shook it. “Charmed.” You pinched your lips together, trying to hold in the laugh.

  “This is Joan.” Joan was the sensible one who just smiled wide and nodded her head profusely as if she were a bobblehead. “Angie.” Angie was the one to pull him into a tight hug.

  “Oh my god, he’s really that muscular in real life. His shoulders are built for gripping as you--.”

  You cleared your throat loudly, shaking your head at your friends. Chris looked amused. When he looked back at you, you gave a demure smile.

  “It’s very nice to meet you all. Any friend of Nex and Vix is a friend of mine. Thank you all for coming.” Again, your friends nodded as if their mouths didn’t work. On second thought, you were glad they didn’t speak again. You never knew what was going to come out next. Chris turned to you.

  “I came over because I uh—wanted to introduce you around to my people so everyone knows who you are. Hopefully, after today, they’ll no longer just be my people, but ours—yours.” It was a sweet gesture. You smiled and nodded.

  “Yeah. Give me a second. I’ll be there.” Chris nodded, looked back to your friends, and smiled warmly. “It was great meeting you guys again; I hope we have time to talk later.”

  “Bet your ass we will,” Jai responded. Nexus stood there snickering while doing a lousy job trying to hide it. Chris walked away smiling.

  “You heifers are the worst!”

  “And you are a damn liar if I’ve ever seen one! Vixen Star Giovanni, what is the problem?” Angie cornered with her arms crossed. The others looked equally as confrontational.

  “What?”

  “You said neither of you is interested in more. That man is clearly interested in more,” Joan took over.

  “What?”

  “And so are you,” Jai added.

  “Mmm, this tea is delicious,” Nexus remarked as she sipped from her glass.

  “Oh shut up, that is not tea, you not slick. Look I have to go. All of you behave, don’t make the white people uncomfortable. Remember your home training,” you joked before you turned and walked away.

  Chris introduced you to so many people; there was no way you were going to remember them all. There were aunts, uncles, cousins, best friends, distant relatives, old classmates, acquaintances. It seemed everyone who had every brushed past him was at this party. As he spoke with them, they didn’t seem like strangers. They all seemed like family. He spoke warmly to them all, laughed and joked and embraced them all. It was here you saw he was a charming and likable guy. Everybody loved Chris.

  “You never had a chance. It was inevitable.”

  After nearly an hour, you were in the middle of conversation surrounded by quite a few Evans’ and it really did seem like bygones were bygones and you were grateful. When you drifted away on your own, you looked around at everyone and everything, and it felt like such a perfect day. Ella happily played with a group of children including her cousins, your parents were talking to Chris’ mother and a few other grownups, your friends were mingling and even looked to be enjoying themselves, and no one looked angry, or uncomfortable it was like everyone seamlessly fit together despite everything.

  “Penny for your thoughts.” His voice was deep and low ad without turning around you knew it was his. A chill ran up your spine, making you shiver. When you turned around, he had a slight smile on his face.

  “Just a penny? Aren’t you some mega-superstar movie actor? Shouldn’t you be able to afford a lot more than a penny?”

  He smiled wider and held out one of the glasses he held. “I can; I can afford to give you the world if you want it, Vixen. Say the word.”

  “Holy shit.”

  Just like that, your mouth ran dry, and you were sure you were going to pass out from the lack of oxygen flowing through you. They were words, but they packed a hell of a punch. You quickly took the glass and downed its contents in one breath.

  “Woah, slow down, that was Whiskey.”

  Pressing your hand to your abdomen, you tried to slow the butterflies, but they wouldn’t stop.

  “I could use another.”

  “You sure?” You nodded.

  “Okay. I’ll be right back.” He walked off in the direction of the bar, and you turned your back and took a few deep breaths and focused on slowing your heart and stopping the fluttering taking over your being.

  Before you realized it, you were walking into a separate building with glass-domed ceilings and walls. As you walked inside you marveled at the sight of the flowers and fountains. It was unbelievably gorgeous. You got lost taking it all in; you didn’t even realize he’d walked in.

  “There you are.”

   -Chris-

“Holy Christ, she’s gorgeous.”

  The sight of you standing in the middle of all the flora and fauna made his hands shake. You were breathtaking.

  “This is where I should have married her.”

  “Sorry, I didn’t know I’d wandered off until I got here.”

  He looked behind him, making sure you were alone, then he forged ahead.

  “This place is incredible. I love flowers,” you informed.

  “I know, I remember.” He held out the glass filled with double whiskey. You smiled as you took it. Your hand grazed his, and your eyes met again. After a few seconds, you pulled back and walked away further down the cobbled path. He gulped his drink and turned to walk on the other side.

  Neither of you spoke. You gawked at all the flowers and looked to be lost in your own head. He wondered what you were thinking about. He wondered at the possibility that you were thinking about him and everything that had transpired between you. He wanted to ask, but again, the disconcerting emotion of fear gripped him. For some reason, he felt he had a lot to lose if, in fact, he put himself out there, and you shot him down. He looked away from you and ahead of him and got lost in his thoughts.

  “The world, huh.”

  He smiled and nodded.

  “Do you want it?” He chanced a look at you and found your eyes were already on him. You walked staring at each other, and the humidity in the room seemed to rise.

  “She has to feel it too.”

  “I do.” He smiled remembered the last time you’d said those two words to him--once upon a time in a little white chapel. “But I want to take it for myself,” you added. He expected it and smiled. Her independence was one of the sexiest things about her, but it was also the most intimidating thing.

  “Would you let me help?” You smiled, looked away, and sipped your drink as your path converged with his. You came to a stop just as he did in front of you.

  “Why?” He slowly trailed his eyes over every feature of your face then raised his hand to brush your hair back from your jaw. His fingertips crazed your skin, and he took notice of it shaking.

  “You deserve it,” he whispered. You smiled and walked to the stone steps and sat.

  “The day Ella was born was insane. She was a week late, so I thought I could get away with getting some work done and take one of my final assessments. So against everyone’s advice, I snuck off to take one of my assessments. I had to cook a ten-course meal in two hours. So I waddled and grunted my way around that kitchen and handled my business, not accepting any sort of help with reaching things despite my huge belly always getting in the way.

  “I see where Ella gets her stubbornness.” You looked at him with your eyebrow crooked. He smiled and motioned as if he were zipping his lips.

  “Thank you, peanut gallery. Anyway, a little more than an hour into the assessment I started to feel some pain. I wasn’t sure what it was. It felt like heartburn, so I pushed through it. Twenty minutes after they first began I was bending for something in the oven and splash my water breaks right there. Everyone gasps and comes to me asking if I’m okay if I need to go to the hospital. I tell them no, I’m fine. I am going to finish this assessment come hell or--.”

  “Amniotic fluid?” Again, your eyes shot to him like darts, this time they were narrowed. He smiled and raised his hands in surrender.

  “So I continue cooking. Ten minutes after my water breaks, the real pain starts, and I shit you not, it was the worst thing I have ever felt in my entire life. I felt like someone was trying to pull my exoskeleton out of my body through my crotch. It was excruciating, but I refused to fail my assessment. I pushed through it and fought the urge to roll in a ball and cry. By the time I finished my assessment I was ready to pass out, but I’d be damned if my face betrayed that. They judged the food, my techniques, and kitchen management. After they gave me the best scores of the entire class I politely asked for them to call an ambulance. Forty minutes later I was pushing her out and boom, she was out.”

  He smiled as he watched you.

  “She was so beautiful, so small, six pounds but damn were her lungs strong, she cried and cried and cried.” A laugh escaped him.

  “When they put her on my chest and her eyes locked on to mine, she stopped crying and just stared at me. It was like she recognized my soul; she recognized me. When I first looked in her eyes I saw you. I don’t know what emotion ran through me, but it was so strong all I could do was bawl. I felt so many things, but it was a strange mix of joy and sorrow. I wished you were there, looking at her I wished it so damn hard. I wanted you there.”

  He didn’t know what to do with that. A tear streaked down his cheek, and he reached out and took your hand. You looked at him, and he saw the tears in your eyes.

 “I’m so sorry Chris. I really, really am. I didn’t mean for any of this to happen. I didn’t mean to rob you of that day, the pregnancy, her first year, or this last one. I am so, so sorry.” You were sobbing now; your body shook with the power of your grief.

  “It’s okay.” It was all he could muster.

  “It’s not though. You’ve been so good, so kind, and I don’t deserve it.”

  Your head was down. He cupped your face turning you to him. He used his thumbs to wipe your tears away.

  “Of course, you deserve it. Are you looking at me? You deserve so much. Yeah, I wasn’t there for the pregnancy or her birth, and you had to go through it alone. That sucks, I would have loved to be there for it all, even though I probably would have screwed something or everything up. I’ve told you I understand why you did it. I’ve moved on from it, Vix. You’ve been such an amazing mom to our baby girl. It’s because of you she is such an incredible child, so smart, funny, loving, sweet, carefree, funny, and caring. She learned it all from you; she took your grace, your beauty, your kind heart, and beautiful soul. You deserve more than the world, you always have. You just have to let me give it to you. I want to give it to you.”

  Your chest was heaving, and his heart was racing. He’d really said that. He hoped you didn’t pull away as you’d been doing since reacquainting. He didn’t want to force you into something you didn’t want, but he didn’t know what he’d do if you pulled away.

  “Let me give you the world and so much more.” Slowly your faces moved closer, and the closer they got, the faster his heart pounded. He was sure you could hear it. Just as your lips were about to touch he heard someone loudly clearing their throat. You both turned your head to see his mother and your sister.  After a few seconds you shot to a standing position.

  “Ehm, Nex.” You descended the steps and began walking back down the path to them. He dropped his head and tried to control his emotions. Your father’s words echoed in his head.

  “Rome wasn’t built in a day. It was a long strenuous, complex, infuriating task. It wasn’t for the faint of heart or the weak.”

  He rose and followed you down the path to his mother who had an apologetic look on her face. You were long gone.

  ~~~~~~~~~

She was so happy; he thought as he sat and watched his daughter eat a third slice of her birthday cake, a cake you’d made. You said you could hand over the reins of cooking for the event, but you could not or would not hand over the cake. It was Ella’s favorite, coconut with a mixture of vanilla and pineapple filling. He could tell, her face was covered in icing and filling, and she looked thrilled about it.

  While he was slightly disappointed he hadn’t been there for her the last two years; he was grateful to be there now. This morning watching you sing happy birthday to her he felt the sorrow of missing out, felt the pain of it, but it wasn’t pain that was laced with resentment. It was pain of what could have been. It was longing. He felt it again in the solarium only it was stronger.

  As the day continued and everyone mingled around and enjoyed themselves, he was always wrapped up in his thoughts and feelings. Even seeing your family and friends and his mixing he felt happiness he’d worried that something might have gone wrong, but everything was holding steady, and the day was almost finished. Every time his eyes met yours you were the first to look away. He had to fight every urge to throw you over his shoulder and finish your conversation, but instead he thought about how he could make you stop pulling away.

  By the time everyone said their goodbyes, it was well past ten, and Ella was fast asleep in his arms. When the party bus dropped the seven of you back to the house he was mentally exhausted. He allowed you to tuck Ella in while he got a needed drink. He wandered off to the backyard and to the pool. After rolling up his pants and taking off his shoes and socks he dipped his feet into the cool water. As he drank he stared at the sky. Here the only stars that mattered were always visible, unlike LA. He’d always been such a space and science nerd and spent many nights staring at the sky and all the stars. He loved finding them and studying them, wondering what it would be like to see them up close.

He didn’t realize how long he’d been sitting there staring at the sky until he heard the French doors open. When he looked back, you stood there.

  “Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt,” you began.

  “It’s fine. You’re not. Want a drink to celebrate a successful second birthday and the successful merger of our family and friends?” You smiled and walked to him. When you sat beside him he handed you his glass. You didn’t hesitate to take a sip from it.

  “Oh my god, what a day.”

  “Yeah, this was my first time going to my child’s birthday party, and I have to say I think I loved it as much as she did. that bouncy castle was so fun.”

  You snorted and laughed. When he looked at you, you didn’t stop; you just kept laughing.

  “What’s so funny?”

  “You are such a big kid.”

  He smiled and nodded as he took his glass back to take a sip.

  “You’re right, I am. Guess I’ve always been one.”

  “It’s great, so—wholesome.”

  “Was that a compliment?” you rolled your eyes and took the glass back and took a mouthful.

  “I’m shocked. I didn’t think you were capable of giving me compliments.”

  “Shut up. I give you plenty of comments,” you defended.

  “Ha. Give says present, and I can attest that you have never given me a compliment.”

  “Out loud. I give you plenty of compliments in my head.” You took another mouthful.

  “Like what? Tell me one.” You looked as if you were thinking or debating if you should. You took another drink from the glass and scrunched your face.

  “You’re a great father to Ella.” Your eyes met. This was the only compliment he cared about. This meant the most.

  “You��re kind. You’re talented. You’re gentle. You’re patient. You’re—great.” The last was a whisper, and your eyes fell to the pool.

  He slid off the floor and into the water, fully clothed. You sat there with your eyes wide. “Come on; you know you want to.” You shook your head. he motioned again and approached you to wade between your parted legs. He hooked his hands around your waist and lifted you into the water, all the while never breaking eye contact.

  Once you were in the water, neither of you moved away. He drifted closer closing the distance between you. Your back pressed to the wall of the pool, and his hands held onto the edge of the stone floor right beside either side of your head. You were boxed in. Slowly he moved his lips to yours. Still, you didn’t move. When he was centimeters from your mouth he stopped. He needed you to travel the rest. His confidence and heart needed the reassurance. You didn’t move for what felt like eternity, and just when he was about to back off and dwell in disappointment you closed the distance and touched your lips to his and took lead of a slow, timid kiss. He didn’t move and allowed you this time to figure out what you wanted to do—how far you wanted to go.

  Slowly your timid kiss turned teasing. Your tongue flicked against his lips before your teeth nibbled. By that time, he was having a hard time restraining himself. When he felt your tongue tangle with his, that was the end of his control. He dropped his hands not the water, grasped your thighs, and lifted you onto him. You wrapped your legs around him, and he pressed into you. Your moan vibrated on him, and the need for you was unmistakable. He noted it went past physical though. He didn’t just want to get you into his bed. He didn’t actually want that at all. He almost lost his balance when he realized it. This wasn’t about sex.

  He pushed off the wall and took you with him gliding through the water. Your lips danced the passionate tango of desire. Neither of you were fighting the other for control, both of you were just allowing the moment to unfold how it would. Your arms wrapped around his neck to dig your fingers into his hair. Your grip on his hair tightened as you pulled his head back to look into his eyes. The moment was hazy, but you both knew an important decision was being made this very second. You could have blamed the first few kisses on accidents that the both of you got caught up in the moment; this one though, was a conscious decision. This moment was the both of you admitting and accepting that there was something here—something neither of you could ignore any longer. Something that was there three years ago, something that both of you’d thrown away all those years ago.

  You placed a soft kiss on his lips while your eyes remained open. He slowly engaged in the kiss keeping his eyes on you as well. His back collided with one of the walls of the pool, and your legs adjusted to hang at his side. He moved his hands to hold you better against him spreading his palms across your backside. It was then the kiss intensified. Neither of you cared if you were being watched, all that mattered was everything he was feeling in just this simple kiss.

  “It’s always been like this, Vixen. Tell me you realize that.” You searched his eyes and bit your bottom lip.

  “Tell me—please,” he whispered, and all the vulnerability he felt came through in his voice.

  “Always.” He placed a soft kiss on you then pulled back.

  “Do you feel this? Or am I crazy and imagining things?” You kissed his cheek, then his jaw and finally his neck. He closed his eyes to fully enjoy the feel of your lips on his skin. He’d forgotten what if felt like. He’d dreamt of it, but he’d forgotten. His groan betrayed how good it felt. You softly bit him and then his earlobe.

  “You’re not crazy,” you whispered. He moved his hands from your ass to cup your skull and pull your head back so he could see your eyes.

  “I’m not?” you shook your head and crashed your lips to his. This was an urgent kiss, one that said you wanted him. Your moans wafted through the air together, and the water served as the bouncing board. Before he could make a move to lift you out the water to make it inside he heard crying. Your lips pulled from his.

  “Ella.”

  “I’ll go.” You pulled yourself from him as he walked out of the pool and dripped his way to the door.

  He quickly made it inside the house to Ella’s room to find her tossing and turning.

  “Ssshh, it’s okay, princess. I’m here.” He placed his hand on her forehead and gently rubbed. After a few moments, her whining settled, but she still tossed and turned. He began humming what he’d heard you hum more than a few times. Slowly she settled and drifted back to a restful sleep.

  When he reemerged, you were sitting on the stone with your feet in the pool. Somehow he knew things were different now. You turned to him, and the look on your face said it all. His absence gave you time to conceal and pull away—yet again.

  “It’s late; I’m exhausted.” He nodded, unsure what hurt more, the chill of your pull away or the heat of you pulling him closer. Maybe they both hurt the same, he thought. You stood and walked to the door.

  “Tomorrow night, will you have dinner with me?”

  “Dinner?” You looked at him with confusion. “Are you asking me out?”

  “Yes, I am.” You looked shocked and speechless. He liked speechless you.

  “Uh—okay.”

  “Okay.” You nodded, turned, and walked inside only to reemerge a few seconds later.

  “Wait, like a date?” He smiled. It was as if you’d never been asked out before, or you couldn’t believe he was doing it.

  “Yes, like a date, with me tomorrow night.”

  “Okay. Goodnight.” Again, you were gone leaving him standing there.

  It had taken him three years to ask for this date. He’d jumped past everything. He’d done marriage, then baby carriage, then love. This date was three years overdue.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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[mx-ishikawa]

first self-insert story I’m posting to this blog! starring Dr Two-Brains of Wordgirl fame, because I've been quite fond of him lately... actually, fond is an understatement. XD" so I wrote this little meet-cute fanfic that was intentionally written to be cheesy (get it? haha). I tried to keep it true to the spirit of the show, while also telling it as if it was something that happened just the other day, if that makes sense. there's like, maybe five total swear words in this, so small warning for that. also, considering the context of the show, you might wanna keep watch for the words "encounter" and "infatuated". just saying. ;P

           It was just another beautiful day in the city. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and somebody was running out of the next building over screaming, but apparently that last bit was normal around here. I was just making my way over to the grocery store for, well, some groceries. I had really only been in there once before, but it seemed like such a nice little grocery store, reminiscent of the local supermarket I used to work in back home.

           I had just recently moved to Fair City a couple weeks ago after getting accepted into the art school there. It was fairly cheap and had a wide range of programs to choose from, so I was thrilled to go there. Being a couple thousand miles away from my old home didn’t bother me in the least bit. Heck, I was glad to get away. But I didn’t realize how crazy this city could get until I moved there. The place was getting constantly pillaged by a wide array of villains, some with weird powers, some with giant robots, and some who were just looking for trouble, and people let a little kid and her monkey handle all of that?? But, Wordgirl is an alien, and a very smart kid with a good head on her shoulders, so she seems like she can handle it. I was lucky enough to briefly encounter her about a week before, and the kid’s got spunk, I’ll tell you that. Not to mention Huggyface is an adorable sidekick. Yes, the city may have been safe in her hands, but little did I know the mess I was about to get myself into…

           I entered the store and looked around, trying to remember where everything was. I was probably gonna have to go through every aisle in order to find what I needed, because my memory is TERRIBLE. I pulled out my miniature notebook from my pocket, let’s see, what do I need—oop, that’s not my grocery list, that’s my villain encounter list! I turned the page, nope, that’s a bunch of phone numbers, another page, still not it, that’s school information, another page, oh there it is! Let’s see here… coffee, bread, cheese, soda, chips… I squinted at the last bit of scribbles. Goshdarnit, I can’t even read my own handwriting! What the heck is THAT?? Oh well. I made my way through the maze of aisles, trying to navigate to my needed items. It didn’t take me long for me to find the coffee, thankfully—but I also found a leak in the ceiling! I turned to the man that I recognized as the manager of the store; thankfully he was nearby.

           “Uh, excuse me, sir,” I said, waiting until he turned his head to me before continuing, “but, um, it looks like there’s a leak in the ceiling right up there, cuz there’s like, there’s a puddle down here, so uhh…” I trailed off after pointing in the respective directions. The manager immediately perked up.

           “Ah! Excellent eye! We could use perceptive people like you around here! You’re hired!”

           “I—I wasn’t—" Actually, I could use a job, but this felt too informal; I didn’t even fill out an application! “I was just trying to help y—AAHHH !!”

           CRASH!

           I cringed as the stack of pickle jars I unwittingly backed into fell to the floor with the nerve-wracking sound of breaking glass.

           “Oh my god, I am so sorry!” I immediately panicked.

           “Aw, I just put those up!” the manager yelled. “You’re fired!”

           “Oh dear…” I shifted my eyes, debating on running away from the mess I caused and never coming back, but my manners got the better of me. “At least let me help you!”

           “Well alright then,” the manager said. “I’ll handle the glass, here’s some paper towels.” He handed me a roll of paper towels that he seemingly pulled out of nowhere, and we immediately got to work. He quickly grabbed a bucket for the glass, and I worked on mopping up the pickle juice. Soon enough, I felt someone else’s presence.

           “Here, let me help, too,” a familiar, high-pitched voice said. I didn’t quite realize who it was until I happened to look up mid-sentence.

           “Aw, that’s alright, you don’t have to—ey, Becky!”

           Becky Botsford is a very smart and sweet fifth-grader that I met the other day when her art class took a field trip to my campus. If I may brag, she seemed rather infatuated with the cartoon-style art I was doing, and expressed her envy of her best friend’s art skills. So I introduced her to some artist tips and tricks. I taught her the old lines and shapes technique, which is probably the oldest one in the book, but it really works, and the two of us felt most comfortable around each other during the time her class was there. I could’ve sworn she looked familiar, but she insisted that we had never seen each other before, so that was probably my brain playing tricks on me. How funny of her to show up again; I was just starting to miss the kid.

           “Hey Light,” she said, grabbing a paper towel to clean the juice. “How’s everything going?”

           “Besides being a clumsy moron who knocks over stacks of pickle jars, life’s been good I suppose.” I chuckled nervously, which earned a giggle from Becky in response.

           “Aww, don’t say that, it happens to the best of us,” she said. “I can’t tell you how many times I’ve done similar things while trying to stop a crimi—I mean stop Bob from eating all the food.” Her pet monkey, Bob, squeaked in apparent disapproval. I laughed a little at the animal.

           “Hey, at least you have an excuse,” I said, “I’m just a klutz.”

           “Well, you’re not the only one,” she reassured. 

           “Thanks for lending a hand, young lady!” the manager praised as he began plucking pickles off the floor.

           “Yeah, thanks for helping out, Becky,” I added, scratching the back of my neck.

           “Oh, it’s no problem,” she insisted. She then got a little closer, as if she were about to share a secret. “Anything to get away from my mom’s coconut craze,” she mumbled. 

           I chortled. “Coconut craze?”

           “Ugh, coconuts are on sale this week and my mom keeps obsessing over them!” Becky groaned exasperatedly. “She’s infatuated with them! Like, what are we going to do with so many coconuts?!” Bob squeaked again just then, to which Becky said, “You got that right, Bob.”

           “I know how you feel, kid. My dad’s the same way with his chili. I swear to god, every time I turned around he’d be making that stupid chili even though he knew darn well my mom and I both don’t like it! He’s especially terrible with it in the wintertime, like jeez.”

           “Parents, right?” 

           “I hear ya.”

           We shared a laugh as the last of the mess was cleaned. “Phew, got that out of the way,” I said. “Anyway thanks again for helping me with that. Are you sure we didn’t encounter each other out on the street or something before the other day?” I was sure my brain was just tricking me into thinking Becky was a familiar face, but I pressed it one more time in jest. Becky giggled.

           “Nope, I’m sure you never saw me before.”

           “Encounter?” the store manager suddenly butted in. “Is that some new type of material I’ve never heard of? I could really use a new kitchen counter.”

           “No sir, it doesn’t have anything to do with kitchen counters,” Becky began. “To encounter someone or something means to meet with or bump into them, usually unexpectedly. Like how Light here and I happened to run into each other in the store at the same time. We encountered each other.”

           “Yeah!” I agreed. “Or how I’ve encountered several villains since I’ve moved here, so I made a list of all the known villains in the city and put a check mark by each one I’ve met!”

           “Wait, you have a list of villains you’ve encountered?” Becky asked. Bob squeaked in confusion.

           “Yep I do! So far, I’ve ran into The Butcher, Mr Big, Amazing Rope Guy, Tobey’s robots, a couple of Lady Redundant Woman’s copies, and I met Chuck the Evil Sandwich Making Guy twice. He seems so nice, I can’t see how he could be evil.” 

           “Wow, sounds like you’re having a crazy time here,” Becky said. 

           “Yeah, but I like crazy, so this is awesome!”

           “Becky~! Bob~!” a jolly female voice suddenly called from a couple aisles away. “Come check out all these wonderful coconuts!” I wheezed in amusement.

           “I’m guessing that’s your mom?”

           “Yes,” Becky said flatly. “Guess I should get going,” she sighed. “But hey, hopefully we can see each other around again sometime!”

           “Yeah, see you around, kid!”

           Becky quickly jogged over to the aisle her mom must’ve been in. I still couldn’t shake the sense of familiarity from her, but maybe it was the start of a sibling-like affection towards the kid. I glanced back down at my grocery list, realizing I still had no idea where everything was at, and cautiously turned back to the manager.

           “Uh hey, uhhh, I know I just made a mess a couple minutes ago, but I’m still new here, and I don’t remember where anything is at, except for this coffee here, so uhh, could you help me out here please?” I showed him my grocery list.

           “Why certainly!” he said. “The bread is right over in the next aisle to your right, the chips are aaaaall the way over on the other side of the store, the soda’s right by there, I can’t help you with whatever that is at the bottom of your list, oh, and the cheese is right down the aisle next to the meat! Asiago is on sale, and flying off the shelves fast, so grab it before it’s gone!”

           “Alright! I’ll try to remember all of that! Thanks!”

           “My pleasure!” the manager said before I made my way down the aisle to the cheese. They had a really nice cheese selection the last time I was here, and I wanted to try some of that asiago. So I took a good long look at all the cheeses when I got to them. Oh yeah, they’ve still got all kinds of cheeses… cheddar, havarti, gouda, muenster, mozzarella… oh jeez, there’s only one asiago left… hmmm, should I take it? Or should I wait until they have more of it later and let someone else have this? I squinted at the price. Jesus, this stuff is expensive, even on sale. No wonder it’s all but gone. I shifted my eyes again, trying to sort out my mental conflict. I always felt guilty for taking the last of something… but hell, I’d been here for two weeks and I’d been proving myself to be an independent adult just fine, I deserved to splurge and treat myself!

           “Aw fuck it! I’m taking this ch—AHH!” I jumped and cut myself off as another hand joined mine in reaching for the cheese. 

           “Whoa there!” a somewhat raspy male voice yelled, sounding just as surprised as mine.

           “Oh my god, I’m so sorry, I didn’t know you were trying to—” I cut myself off again, this time with a sharp gasp, as I looked up and saw just who was competing with me for the cheese. This man was tall and slender, and donned scientist attire. He was incredibly pale, with messy white hair, piercing red eyes, pink-tinted cheeks, and a few crooked, silvery whiskers protruding from around his subtly twitching nose. But what tipped me off was the small, exposed, slightly pulsating brain nestled within the white hairs on his head. I took a step back, slightly fearful.

           “Y—y-you… y-you’re… you’re d-d—Doctor Two-Brains!”

           “Yep, that’s me,” he stated proudly, shooting me a wicked smirk. He put one hand on his hip and began casually twirling what I assumed to be one of his ray guns with his other hand. “I gotta say, I wasn’t expecting any competition.”

           “Heh, neither was I,” I said, suddenly feeling flustered. “I mean, I guess I always run the risk if I’m anywhere near cheese, but I had no idea you’d be here today!” I perked up as I remembered something. “Oh, I gotta add you to my villain encounter list!”

           Two-Brains blinked in confusion. “Your what-now?”

           “My list of all the villains I’ve met so far! Most of them are pretty nice for villains, but Tobey’s got quite the attitude problem. Kid’s too young to be having a God complex.”

           Suddenly, Two-Brains bust out laughing.

           “Oh my goodness,” he wheezed. “Tobey—God compl—ahahaha!” He clutched his sides as he doubled over, shoulders shaking. “Did you hear that, henchmen?” He elbowed the bigger henchman, who simply exchanged confused looks with the smaller one. “Oh that is rich!”

           I laughed a little myself, mainly at how amused this supposedly evil scientist was at my throwaway comment. “Well, I’m glad you got a kick out of that, haha.” I could’ve sworn Two-Brains wiped a tear from his eye just then.

           “Oh man, I haven’t laughed that hard in ages. You’re quite the comedian.”

           “Haha, well thanks, I try…”

           Suddenly, as his laughter died down, our eyes locked. A sensation akin to that of a tiny electrical current coursed through me as he stared into my soul. His eyes were so mesmerizing. It’s not very often you see such a lovely ruby shade. It was hard to tear myself away from them, but soon enough I felt nervous maintaining eye contact, so my eyes discreetly wandered to other parts of his face. I noticed his smooth, pale complexion. His rosy cheeks. His fluffy hair. His nice jaw structure, not too sharp but not too baby-faced either. Then his cute, pink lips. In that moment I was worried he noticed me gawking, so I looked back into his eyes. Those beautiful eyes, framed by long lashes. I gulped as the truth sunk in.

           Oh no. He’s gorgeous.

           I was finally snapped out of my trance when Two-Brains cleared his throat. I shook my head, damn, I probably creeped him out by now.

           “So,” he began, casually leaning his arm against the shelves, “you’re new here, huh?”

           I sputtered in shock. “H-h-how did you know?!” Two-Brains chuckled at my reaction.

           “Well, for one thing, people who are from around here don’t have a ‘villain encounter list’. Also, I come to this grocery store a lot, so I know who else comes here, and you’re definitely not a familiar face. Besides, I think I would’ve noticed you before.” If I’m not mistaken, he winked at me right then. I blushed.

           “Pfft, as if.” I smiled but waved my hand in dismissal. “No one ever notices me. Not without forgetting about me immediately after.”

           Two-Brains snapped into an upright position. “You’re kidding.”

           “Nope. I was always the weird kid that got left behind…” I rubbed my arm, suddenly feeling insecure. I wasn’t anybody, yet here I was, thinking I could talk to a guy like Two-Brains. What was I doing wasting his time?

           “Gee, that’s awful.” The doctor’s voice softened.

           I shrugged. “It’s alright. I’m used to it by now.”

           “Still, it’s a shame. But let’s not talk about that!” His voice quickly returned to its regular pitch as he plucked a block of cheese from the shelves and immediately tore into it. “So what’s your name?”

           “My name? Oh, well uhh… you can just call me Light. I don’t really like going by my real name anymore.”

           “Yeah me neither,” Two-Brains deadpanned, taking another bite of his cheese. “It just isn’t who I am anymore.”

           “Exactly!” I snapped my fingers. “Like, no offense to my dad, since he picked out my name, but I needed a new identity with my fresh new start.”

           “My mom picked out my name.” Two-Brains shrugged. “Safe to say, I’m not her sweet little boy anymore.”

           “I bet,” I chuckled.

           “So why Light?” he questioned, carelessly tossing the now-empty cheese wrapper behind him and taking another block. “You got some special glowing power or something?”

           “Oh no, not at all, it’s just, the word was in my internet username, so people started calling me that and it kinda grew on me. Doesn’t really mean anything, although ‘light’ was my first word as a baby, sooo I guess that counts as something, haha.”

           “Interesting…” he pondered the thought as he munched on the cheese.

           “Hey boss,” the smaller of his henchmen interjected, “are we actually gonna steal this cheese, or…”

           “Uh, yeah, start loading it up in the cart.” He waved his hand in a “get going” motion.

           “But wasn’t the plan to threaten everyone with this big ray machine?” The henchman gestured to a very large contraption behind them. I took a step back in shock.

           “Uh, whoa.” How did I miss that big honkin’ thing?!

           “Change of plans, we’re not gonna cause a scene, we’re just gonna take the cheese and leave,” Two-Brains answered. “But fire up the ray in case Wordgirl comes around.”

           “Gee, I hate to get in the way of your, uh, cheese heist,” I awkwardly shuffled my feet. “I know you’re infatuated with the stuff.”

           “Aw, you’re not in my way,” Two-Brains cooed, “why do you think I’m changing my plans?”

           “Uhhhh, becaaauuuse… I don’t know.”

           He chuckled, leaning against the shelves again as his henchmen loaded up the cheese behind him. “You’re a little dense, aren’t you?”

           “Um, honestly, yeah, I’m really not that smart,” I sheepishly admitted, rubbing the back of my neck.

           “Hm. You guys know what I’m doing, right henchmen?” He craned his head in their direction.

           “Uhh, not exactly,” the smaller admitted. Two-Brains facepalmed.

           “Oh, you’ll all figure it out soon enough.” It seemed like the statement was directed at all of us, but he turned back to me to say it. Suddenly he was gazing at me with those eyes. My heart skipped a beat. I looked at him, then at the cheese, then the henchmen, and back to him. A crazy idea formed in my brain.

           “You know… I could buy this cheese for you.” Oh god, why did I say that?! I’m broke as hell! I can’t afford all that cheese!

           “Well aren’t you a sweetheart~” he crooned, taking a few steps closer to me. I felt my face heat up. Sweetheart? Such a word never usually struck a chord in me, but for some reason, the way he said it sent shivers down my spine. He leaned in, giving me a sweet smile, before his expression turned more malicious. “But I want to steal this cheese. Ahahahaha!” He tilted his head back and let out an evil laugh. I laughed as well, but it was more out of embarrassment.

           “Right, of course. I’m not entirely sure why I said that. Pretty soon I’ll be offering to buy Mr Big a hypnotism kit.”

           Two-Brains’ wicked cackling quickly turned into a giggle fit. Guess I tickled his funny bone again.

           “She’s at it again, boys!” he giggled. “Hypnotism—pffahaha!” He put a hand over his mouth at he attempted to stifle his laughter. I blushed. Good lord, this man was adorable. “As if he isn’t rich enough to buy all the hypnotism stuff he wants!” He shook his head as he calmed himself down. “Where did you learn to be so humorous?”

           I shrugged. “I dunno, my family? I come from a long line of goofballs.”

           He giggled again. “Well hey, the world needs more charming goofballs like you.” He made a finger gun motion with one of his hands, and I sputtered again.

           “Me?? Charming??! Haha, that’s… I think you’re the charming one around here.”

           “Well, I do what I can,” he said in a proud voice. He winked before continuing. “But I think you’re not giving yourself enough credit. You need to have some confidence in yourself!” He reached over and clasped my shoulder, making my face turn red.

           “Pfft, easier said than done, Doc.”

           His brows curved upward as he patted my shoulder. “Aw, I’m sure you’ll get it someday, sweetheart.” I let out a strangled noise that sounded like a cross between a choke and a lovestruck sigh. Dammit, there’s that word again. I’m pretty sure my entire face looked like a tomato at that point. Then I noticed he was gazing at me again. I nearly lost my breath as a realization formed in my brain.

           Wait, holy shit, is he flirting with me??! No, that’s crazy. There’s no way a guy like him would really wanna flirt with ME! Besides, he’s a villain, he probably flirts with everyone… but he’s like, being genuinely nice to me too. Could it be?

           “Heheh, you know,” I began, “you’re also pretty nice, for a villain. I mean, we just met like, five minutes ago, and you’re already treating me better than most of the people I knew for years ever did.”

           “Hey, I may be evil, but I’m not completely heartless!” My breath hitched as his arm snaked around my shoulders. “Say, could I take a look at that little villain list of yours?”

           “Oh yeah, sure! I really gotta add you to it now!” I pulled my notebook out of my pocket and handed it to him. In response, he pulled out a pen.

           “I think I’ll add myself onto here.” Two-Brains clicked the pen and began scribbling into the notebook. Then his henchmen butted in again.

           “Alright boss, the cheese is all loaded up… should we go?”

           “Bring everything to the van, boys! I’ll catch up with you two in a minute.”

           I opened my mouth to tell him how honored I felt that he was setting aside his time for little old me, but suddenly, I heard a familiar whoosh noise and an even more familiar voice.

           “The only thing you’ll be catching up to is jail, Doctor Two-Brains!”

           “Wordgirl!” Two-Brains assumed a defensive stance. He glowered as he realized she was blocking the henchmen’s path. “No surprise you’d show up eventually.”

           “Well, that big ray machine was pretty hard to miss.” Wordgirl vaguely gestured to the large contraption Two-Brains had somehow rolled into the store.

           “Impressive, isn’t it?” Two-Brains said smugly. “Just feast your eyes on what it does!”

           “Wait a minute, uhh… is she with you?” she gestured to me before he could press any buttons on the machine. I shuffled awkwardly, suddenly very aware of being in between a spunky superhero and a cute supervillain.

           “Oh, her?” he pointed his thumb at me. “This is Light, and uh, she’s only with me if she wants to be.” He threw his arm around me and winked again, a sly smirk playing at his lips. I sputtered yet again.

           “Aw, gee, I’d love to, but um, I kinda gotta keep my record clean, heheh.”

           “Shame. I’d love for you work with me.” My face reddened and I opened my mouth, but he pulled away before I could respond. “Now, back to my marvelous machine—”

           “Let me guess, it turns things into cheese?” Wordgirl crossed her arms, apparently unamused by Two-Brains’ ploy. Huggy made a noise that sounded like a groan.

           “No!... Maybe… okay, fine, yeah, it does!”

           “No surprise.” She was clearly not impressed.

           “Hey!” I butted in. “Figuring out how to turn things into cheese couldn’t have been easy for Two-Brains! Like, that’s altering entire chemical compositions here! And since he’s figured that out, I don’t really blame him for using it over and over. It’s impressive if you ask me.”

           “Thank you!” Two-Brains exhaled, throwing his arms up. “See? She gets it.”

           “Well hey, I know if I had machines that could turn stuff into cheese, I wouldn’t have any stuff left!” This statement caused Two-Brains to laugh yet again.

           “I know, I don’t have much left either, haha.”

           “Right? And honestly, I don’t blame you for stealing cheese, either.”

           “Oh boy, she’s as infatuated as he is,” Wordgirl offhandedly remarked to Huggy.

           “What can I say? It’s darn good stuff,” I said, stealing a gaze at Two-Brains. Huggy made some chirping noises, and Wordgirl craned her head towards the simian sidekick on her shoulder; he seemed to be asking her something.

           “Oh, well I’m glad you asked,” she answered cheerily. “To be infatuated with something means to be very passionate about it, and love it a lot! Like how I’m infatuated with words! Or how Doctor Two-Brains is infatuated with cheese.” She pointed towards him, and Huggy squeaked in understanding. “Or how Light there appears infatuated with Doctor Two-Brains.”

           I nearly choked.

           “Whoa whoa hold up what??! I—wha—”

           Wordgirl stiffened as she realized her mistake. “Oh my goodn— I am SO sorry! I just—”

           “What gives you that idea?? Hahahaha…” My nervous titter made it clear that I knew exactly where she got that idea from. Why did I always make things so damn obvious? I’m like an open book. I thought maybe I was doing an okay job at concealing my little crush, but even the kid was able to see right through me!

           “Well I was kinda… just trying to define ‘infatuated’, haha.” She sheepishly folded her arms behind her back, trying to make herself smaller. “Sorry about that.”

           “Well hey uh, defining words is your job, right?”

           “That and protecting the city by fighting cr—AAAHK!”

           Wordgirl shrieked as she was suddenly whacked out of her midair hover and onto the floor by a sticky, yellowish substance. Two-Brains’ wicked cackling filled the aisle.

           “Oh, did I forget to mention that my ray machine also shoots sticky nacho cheese? Bwahahahaha! Thanks for helping me escape, Light! Haha!”

           I froze as I realized that I had accidentally distracted Wordgirl long enough for Two-Brains to trap her in a nacho cheese cocoon. It must’ve been super strong cheese, too, for as much as Wordgirl struggled, she couldn’t break free, even with her superstrength.

           “Oops,” I mumbled. Two-Brains started making his way out of the store, with his henchmen rolling the ray machine away, but something made me panic.

           “Wait!” I cried, lunging forward and reaching my hand out towards him. Two-Brains simply looked over his shoulder with a quizzical expression. “I uhh… this is kinda… this is probably a longshot, with how… I mean you’re such a well-known villain so you’re probably busy a lot but… do you think we could like… I dunno… hang out some time, or something?”

           Two-Brains blinked once, as if in disbelief, before a sly smirk etched his face. “Way ahead of ya, sister.” With that, he winked, made a finger gun gesture, and waltzed away, but not before tossing something at me. I fumbled it for a moment, but I did manage to catch it somehow. I looked down, and saw it was—asiago cheese. The last of the asiago cheese. He let me have that?? I stared in front of myself in silence for a second or ten, trying to figure out if that entire interaction really happened. But I was cut from my thoughts when I realized Wordgirl and Captain Huggyface were still struggling to break free from the cocoon that was partially my fault they got into in the first place.

           “Oh. My. God. I am. SO. Sorry!” I panicked. “I swear, I did NOT mean to do that!”

           “It’s alright, nothing I haven’t been though before,” Wordgirl said. “Besides, this one is kind of on me.” Suddenly, with a grunt and a burst of strength, she burst free from her cocoon of cheese. “Ah, that’s better. Now off to find Doctor Two-Brains. I’m not about to let him get away from me again!”

           “Yeah, sorry again about accidentally aiding him… also, this is gonna sound crazy, but you remind me of someone.”

           “Oh?” Wordgirl raised an eyebrow. “Well, people have said I look like a young Dana Hill.” I laughed a little.

           “That could be it. But I feel like I know you from somewhere outside of superheroism… it’s probably just my brain being weird on me again though, haha.”

           “Probably. Also, it’s great that you and Two-Brains are getting along, but he is a supervillain, so just… be careful around him, okay?”

           “I gotcha, kiddo. He seemed really nice to me, but if he ever tries to pull something, I know who to call.” I gave Wordgirl a finger gun motion. “Anyway, I better let you get back to your business.”

           “Thanks. Now come on Huggy, let’s go get Doctor Two-Brains! Word up!” And with that, she sped away. It was then I remember the last thing Two-Brains said before he left. Way ahead of ya, sister… what exactly did he mean by that? I picked up my little notebook that had fallen onto the floor and flipped to my villain encounter list. When I looked by his name, I almost dropped the thing in shock. Not only was there a nice little signature, but written beside it was a seven-digit number, with the words “call me” and a wink face. Holy shit.

           “He gave me his number…” I whispered in shock. As it sank in, a grin slowly crept onto my face until I’m pretty sure it was ear-to-ear. “I GOT HIS NUMBER!!!”

           “Nice!” a random person from somewhere inside the store shouted.

           “Thanks!” I shouted back. I just could not believe it! Man, I really came in this store for groceries and ended up with a cute mad scientist’s phone number and Cupid’s arrow impaling my chest, huh?

           How cheesy.

[skonnaris]

Films I’ve Seen 1878-2019

1878.  

The Horse in Motion     https://youtu.be/IEqccPhsqgA

1888

Roundhay Garden Scene.    https://youtu.be/F1i40rnpOsA

1894

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1894_in_film

1895

Arrival of a Train    https://youtu.be/1dgLEDdFddk

1896

Kiss.    https://www.loc.gov/item/00694131/

Rough Sea at Dover     https://youtu.be/1dgLEDdFddk

1928

Steamboat Willie **

1939

(The Blue Angel)

1931

1932

(A Farewell to Arms, Me and My Gal, 

1933

1934

(It Happened One Night, The Thin Man, The Gay Divorcee, Of Human Bondage, The Count of Monte Cristo, The Man Who Knew Too Much, Treasure Island)

1935

(Top Hat, David Copperfield, A Tale of Two Cities, Anna Karenina, Broadway Melody of 1936, The Littlest Rebel, The Last Days of Pompei, The Little Colonel, Call of the Wild, Annie Oakley)

1936

(Poor Little Rich Girl, Mary of Scotland, Stowaway, Anything Goes, Captain January, Dimples)

1937

Heidi *****

Snow White *****

(Shall We Dance, Wee Willie Winkies, Broadway Melody of 1938)

1938

Boystown ****

(Pygmalion, Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm, Listen Darling, Just Around the Corner, Little Miss Broadway)

1939

Gone with the Wind *****

Hunchback of Notre Dame ***

Mr. Smith Goes to Washington ****

Wizard of Oz *****

(Babes in Arms, The Little Princess, It’s a Wonderful World)

1940

Fantasia *****

The Grapes of Wrath *****

Pinocchio ****

1941

Citizen Cane ****

1946

It’s a Wonderful Life *****

1950

1951

A Streetcar Named Desire ****

An American in Paris ****

1952

Singin in the Rain *****

1954

Rear Window ****

1957

12 Angry Men ****

1959

Ben Hur ****

1960

Pollyanna ****

Please Don’t Eat the Daisies ****

Psycho ****

Swiss Family Robinson ****

Time Machine, The *****

1961

Absent Minded Professor ***

Blue Hawaii ***

Breakfast at Tiffany’s ***

Children’s Hour, The ****

Flower Drum Song ****

One Hundred and One Dalmations ****

Parent Trap, The *****

Splendor in the Grass ****

West Side Story *****

1962

Gypsy ****

Lawrence of Arabia ****

The Manchurian candidate ****

The Miracle Worker *****

The Music Man *****

To Kill a Mocking Bird *****

Whatever Happened to Baby Jane ****

1963

Beach Party ***

The Birds *****

Bye Bye Birdie ***

Cleopatra ****

Incredible Journey, The ****

Lilies of the Field *****

Pink Panther ****

Son of Flubber ***

1964

Fail Safe ****

Goldfinger ****

Mary Poppins *****

My Fair Lady *****

Zorba the Greek *****

1965

Dr. Zhivago *****

A Charlie Brown Christmas *****

A Patch of Blue ****

That Darn Cat ***

The Sound of Music *****

1966

Fantastic Voyage ****

Fahrenheit 451 ****

Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf ***

1967

Bonnie and Clyde ****

The Graduate ****

Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner ****

1968

2001: A Space Odyssey *****

Funny Girl *****

Planet of the Apes ****

1969

Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid ****

Midnight Cowboy ****

1972

1776 ***

Ben ***

Butterflies Are Free ***

Caberet ****

Deliverance *****

The Godfather *****

Jeremiah Johnson ***

Lady Sings the Blues ****

Man of La Mancha ***

The Poseiden Adventure ****

What’s Up Doc ***

1973

American Graffiti ****

The Exorcist ***

Jesus Christ Superstar ****

The Sting ****

The Way We Were ****

1974

Benji ***

Blazing Saddles **

The Godfather II ***

Herbie Rides Again ***

The Longest Yard ***

The Towering Inferno ****

1975

Barry Lyndon ****

Escape to Witch Mountain ***

Funny Lady ****

Jaws ****

Mahogany ***

Monty Python and the Holy Grail ***

One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest *****

Picnic at Hanging Rock ***

The Return of the Pink Panther ***

The Stepford Wives ***

Tommy ***

1976

All the President’s Men *****

Carrie **

Pink Panther Strikes Again ****

Rocky ****

Star is Born, A **** (Barbra Streisand)

1977

Annie Hall *****

Bobby Deerfield ****

Close Encounters of the First Time *****

Oh God ****

1979

The Amityville Horror ***

And Justice For All ****

Apocalypse Now ****

Being There *****

The Champ ****

The China Syndrome ****

Kramer vas Kramer ****

Manhattan ***

1980

Blue Lagoon ***

Coal Miner’s Daughter ****

The Elephant Man ****

Fame ****

The Gods Must Be Crazy ***

Ordinary People ****

Private Benjamin ****

The Shining *****

1981

Absence of Malice ****

Arthur ****

Chariots of Fire ****

On Golden Pond *****

Raiders of the Lost Ark ****

Reds ****

1982

1983

The Big Chill ****

The Right Stuff ****

Star Wars: Return of the Jedi ****

Tender Mercies ****

Terms of Endearment ****

Trading Places ****

War Games *****

Yentl ****

1984

Amadeus *****

1985

Back to the Future *****

1988

Big *****

Coming to America *****

Dangerous Liaisons ***

Mississippi Burning ****

Mystic Pizza ***

Rain Man *****

Scrooged ***

Stand and Deliver ****

Working Girl ****

1987

Babette’s Feast *****

Dirty Dancing *****

Empire of the Sun ****

Fatal Attraction ***

Good Morning, Vietnam ****

LaBamba ****

Moonstruck *****

Overboard ****

Roxanne ****

Three Men and a Baby ****

1988

Beaches ****

Big *****

Bull Durham ****

Cinema Paradiso ***

Coming to America *****

Dangerous Liasons ***

Mississippi Burning *****

Mystic Pizza ***

Rainman *****

Unbearable Lightness of Being, The ***

Working Girl ****

1989

All Dog’s Go To Heaven ***

Born on the 4th of July ***

Dead Poet’s Society ****

Driving Miss Daisy *****

Field of Dreams ****

Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade ***

The Little Mermaid ****

My Left Foot ***

Parenthood ***

Steel Magnolias ****

When Harry Met Sally ****

1990

Dances with Wolves ****

Edward Scissorhands ****

The Freshman ***

Ghost *****

Home Alone ****

Kindergarten Cop ***

Mermaids ***

Misery ****

Pretty Woman *****

1991

Frankie and Johnny ***

1992

Scent of a Woman *****

1993

Dave *****

Firm, The ****

Free Willy ****

Groundhog Day *****

Hocus Pocus ***

Homeward Bound ****

Indecent Proposal ***

Mrs. Doubtfire *****

Pelican Brief, The ****

Piano, The ****

Remains of the Day ***

Robin Hood Men in Tights ***

Schindler’s List *****

Secret Garden, The ****

Sleepless in Seattle ****

What’s Eating Gilbert Grape ***

1994

Forrest Gump *****

The Shawshank Redemption *****

1997

Good Will Hunting *****

1999

Matrix ****

2000

Billy Elliott *****

Cast Away *****

Chocolat *****

Erin Brockovich *****

Meet the Parents ***

Miss Congeniality ****

2001

Amelie *****

Beautiful Mind, A ****

Bridget Jones’ Diary ****

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone ****

The Last Castle ****. (Robert Redford)

Legally Blonde *****

Majestic, The ****

Shrek ****

2002

About a Boy ***

About Schmidt ***

Bourne Identity ****

Chicago ****

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets ****

Ice Age ****

My Big Fat Greek Wedding *****

Pianist, The ****

Road to Perdition ****

Spider-man ****

Sweet Home Alabama *****

Unfaithful ****

2003

Bruce Almighty ****

Cold Mountain ****

Holes ***

How to Lose a Guy in 10 Tens ***

Love, Actually *****

Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl ***

Something’s Gotta Give *****

2004

The Bourne Supremacy****

De-Lovely ****

Fifty First Dates ****

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban ****

The Incredibles ****

Million Dollar Baby ****

National Treasure ***

The Polar Express *****

The Terminal ****

Van Helsing ****

2005

Brokeback Mountain ***

Capote ***

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory ***

Constant Gardner, The***

Finding Neverland ***

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire ***

The Manchurian candidate ***

Mr. and Mrs. Smith ***

The Notebook ****

Ocean’s Twelve ***

Pride and Prejudice ****

Walk the Line ***

Wedding Crashers ***

2006

Charlotte’s Web ***

The Da Vinci Code ****

Devil Wears Prada *****

Dreamgirls ***

Failure to Launch ***

Happy Feet ***

The Holiday *****                                                                                 

Letters from Iwo Jima ****

Night at the Museum ****

Pirates of the Carribean ***

2007

Atonement ***

The Bourne Ultimatum ****

Charlie Wilson’s War ****

Diving Bell and the Butterfly, The ***

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

Juno ****

La Vie En Rose ***

Michael Clayton ***

No Country for Old Men ***

Once ****

P.S. I Love You *****

There Will Be Blood ****

2008

Boy in the Striped Pajamas, The *****

Curious Case of Benjamin Button, The ****

Dark Knight, The ****

Definitely, Maybe ***

Doubt ***

Frost/Nixon ***

Frozen River ****

Gran Torino ***

Hancock ****

Hurt Locker ****

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull ***

Iron Man ****

Kung Fu Panda ***

Mama Mia ****

Milk ****

Rachel Getting Married ***

Reader, The ***

Revolutionary Road ***

Slumdog Millionaire ****

Taken ***

Wall-E *****

2009

Avatar ***

Blindside ***** (Sandra Bullock)                                                      

Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince ***

Invictus ***

Julie and Julia ****

Lovely Bones, The ***

Proposal, The *****

Sherlock Holmes *** (Robert Downey, Jr)

Single Man, A **** (Colin Firth)

2010

Black Swan ***

Despicable Me****

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 1 ***

Ironman 2 ****

Kid’s Are Alright, The ****

King’s Speech, The *****

Letters to Juliet ****

Shutter Island ***

Valentine’s Day ***

2011

The Artist ***

Bridesmaids ****

Crazy, Stupid Love ***

The Descendent ***

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 2 ***

The Help *****

Hugo *****

Midnight in Paris ***

Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy ****

War Horse *****

My Week With Marilyn ***

We Need to Talk About Kevin ****

2012

Argo ***

Amour ****

The Bourne Legacy ****

Django Unchained ****

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey ****

The Hunger Games ***

Le Miserable ***

The Perks of Being a Wallflower ***

Life of Pi ****

Lincoln ****

Silver Linings Playbook ****

2013

12 Years a Slave ****

About Time *****                                                                                    

Blue Jasmine *****

Captain Phillips ****

Dallas Buyers Club ****

Frozen ****

Gravity ****

Inside Llewyan Davis ****

Philomena ****

Saving Mr. Banks *****

The Secret Life of Walter Mitty ****

The Wolf of Wall Street ***

2014 

American Sniper ****

Boyhood ***

Birdman ****

Cavary ****

Chef ****

Divergent ***

Gone Girl ***

Hobbit ***

The Grand Budapest Hotel **

The Imitation Game ****

Into the Woods ***

Interstellar ****

Lucy ****

Maleficent ****

The Monuments ****

Mr. Turner ***

Selma ****

Whiplash ****

2015

45 ***

The Big Short ****

Bridge of Spies ****

Brooklyn ****

Carol ****

Chappie ***

Cinderella ****

Danny Collins ***

Inside Out ****

The Intern ****

Joy ****

The Martian ****

Me, Earl and the Dying Girl ***

Room ****

San Andreas ****

Spotlight *****

Star Wars: The Force Awakens ****

Trainwreck **

Trumbo ****

The Walk ***

2016

Arrival ****

Central Intelligence ****

Deadpool ***

Elle ***

Fantastic Beasts ***

Fences ***

Hacksaw Ridge *****

Hidden Figures *****                                                                        

Hell or High Water ***

Jackie ***

La La Land ***

Lion *****

Manchester by the Sea ****

Me Before You ***

Moonlight ****

Sully ****

2017

Beauty and the Beast ****

Call Me By Your Name ***

Darkest Hour ****

Downsizing **

Dunkirk ***

Going Home *** (Reese Witherspoon)

Ladybird ***

Phantom Thread ****

The Post ****

The Shape of Water ****

The Upside ****

Wonder Woman ***

2018

Aquaman ***

Bird Box ****

The Black Klansman ****

Bohemian Rhapsody ***

Book Club ***

Can You Ever Forgive Me ***

Christmas at Pemberly Manor ****

Crazy Rich Asians ***

Favourite, The ***

First Man ****

Green Book *****.                                                                                

Kindergarten Teacher, The ***

Mama Mia Here We Go Again ***

Mary Poppins Returns ****

Mary Queen of Scots ***

Mule, The  *** 

On the Basis of Sex ****

Quiet Place, A ****

Roma ***

St. Judy ***

Star is Born, A ***

Wfe, The ****

Wonder Woman  ***

2019

1917 ****

The Bookshop ****

Cats ***

A Day in the Neighborhood ****

Downton Abbey ***

The Farewell ***

Ford v Ferrari ****

Harriet ****

Hustle, The **

The Irishman ****

Jojo Rabbit ****

Joker ***

Judy ***

Little Women ****

Marriage Story ****

Once Upon a Time in Hollywood **

Two Popes ***

Yesterday ****

[cksmart-world]

The completely unnecessary news analysis

by Christopher Smart

February 18, 2020

BERNIE BROS BE PISSED & WHAT’S WRONG WITH THE ERA

Supporters of Bernie Sanders are more than a little chafed at other Democrats who are taking an “anyone-but-Bernie” stance and they're letting folks know in no uncertain terms: “you A-holes.” Supporters of Bloomberg, Buttigieg, Klobachar, Warren and Biden say Bernie can't beat Trump because the Name-Caller-In-Chief will label him as a Marxist dog and scare the bejesus out of voters. Many also say Mayor Pete can't beat Trump because he's gay. Rush Limbaugh already has started in on Buttigieg for kissing his husband in public. Oh, Lordy. Evangelicals are hugging their Bibles. Elizabeth Warren has dropped in the polls, largely because she has a plan for just about everything and that's confusing to American voters who hate details. They're more into stuff like, “Make America Great Again.” Poor Joe Biden has hit the skids, too. Old Joe's jokes have gotten stale and aviator sunglasses have gone out of style. Amy Klobuchar is a good, Midwestern woman with a nice smile who knows how to milk a cow. But she's a little too nice and doesn't have the money that Michael Bloomberg has. And now we find out that the New York billionaire had the horribly racist “Stop-N-Frisk” policing policy when he was mayor of the Big Apple, so he can't get the African-American vote. And it's just been revealed that Bloomberg hates babies and puppies. But hey, don't lose hope: The staff here at Smart Bomb has come up with a bumpersticker for Dems: “Miracles Do Happen.”

WHAT'S WRONG WITH THE ERA

It's been 48 years since the Equal Rights Amendment was submitted to Congress in October 1971. It passed both houses and was ratified by 35 of the necessary 38 states. But it died after a decade of fierce debate. The arguments in the Beehive State were as contentious as anywhere. In the end, Utah did not ratify. Why not? What's wrong with an amendment that seeks equal rights for women and men? Our crack research team here at Smart Bomb dove into the archives to find the answers then and now:

1 – If the ERA becomes law, women will have to use urinals.

2 – If the ERA becomes law, men will have to wear bras and lipstick and fix dinner.

3 – God created special roles for men and women: men wear pants and drink beer; women wear skirts and drink tea (and don't belch).

4 – If the ERA passes, women will have to go into combat and share foxholes with horny men without condoms who are trained to kill.

5 – If the ERA is ratified, women can become president. Yikes!

6 – If the ERA becomes law, workplace sex could cease to exist.

7 – Or, it could mean that workplace sex would get out of control with women jumping men in the utility closet. OMG.

8 – If the ERA becomes a reality, young Mormon women will go on religious missions.

9 – If the ERA is ratified, women will become astronauts and orbit the Earth and feel superior to men.

10 – And the very worst part of the ERA, according to Utah Sen. Mike Lee, is that it is part of a “radical pro-abortion agenda.” Yeah, damnit, it's “an Orwellian mischaracterization of what it would do,” Lee said, because it will allow women to have abortions but not men.

HEY, ALEXA, GET OUT OF MY FACE

Your friend Alexa, who helps you play music, turn off the TV and put on the bedroom lights, may not be as warm-hearted you think. Amazon has big plans for its virtual assistant. Sooner than you think, Alexa — or one of her siblings — will be directing our lives — it’ll interpret our data and make decisions for us, according to Rohit Prasad, the scientist in charge of Alexa‘s development. George Orwell was distressed about Big Brother, but he couldn't imagine we would willingly invite him or Big Sister into our lives with such giddy anticipation. The aim is to turn Alexa into an omnipresent companion that shapes our lives. You might find yourself in an argument with Alexa on what music to play or what to watch on TV or which car to buy. Yep, it's “2001: A Space Odyssey” all over again. HAL has collected all your data and now, there is no real reason for you to exist — well wait, Alexa does want your money, but you don't have to worry your lil’ head about that, she'll tell you how to spend it.

BILL BARR: I WON'T BE BULLIED

He's a strong, independent attorney general. President Donald Trump doesn't tell him what to do (except sometimes). Sure, there was that little thing with the Mueller Report that looked to nonpartisan legal beagles like a roadmap to impeachment that Barr announced was vindication. And there is that little matter of reviewing Michael Flynn's case, where he pleaded guilty to the FBI about his contacts with Russians. And just because the attorney general determined that Roger Stone's recommended sentence was far too harsh, doesn't mean he isn't independent.  The fact that Trump tweeted the same thing 12 hours earlier was just a coincidence. Bill Barr is a man of great integrity, depending, of course, on how you define it. OK, maybe critics, who say the Department of Justice is being politicized, have a point. But as President Trump insisted, he can do whatever he wants, including interceding in criminal trials, so it isn't corruption. Whether Bill Barr is an independent attorney general or not, really doesn't matter. (Well, actually it does matter but WTF.) And the president wants to know why that slut Andrew McCabe is off the hook. And why aren't James Comey, Peter Strzok and Lisa Page in jail along with Nancy Pelosi and Adam Schiff? Where is the justice?

Post Script — That was the week that was. And man, was it strange — that is to say, about normal for the age of Trump. Still, there is no better time to be a “Hooker For Jesus.” (We are not making this up.) DOJ officials rejected grant applications from Catholic Charities and Chicanos Por La Causa. Instead, according to Reuters, it gave more than $1 million to the Lincoln Tubman Foundation and Hookers for Jesus. Don't tell the Evangelicals, they'll freak. Speaking of sinners, Jim Jordan, the rabid congressman from Ohio, is about to be caught up in a sex scandal involving his old wrestling team at Ohio State. Bummer (no pun intended). And the hits just keep coming: Michael Avenatti, who gained fame representing Stormy Daniels, was found guilty of trying to extort $25 million from Nike. But unlike Roger Stone and Michael Flynn, he can't expect a pardon from Donald Trump. Down on the southern border, those darn coyotes already have come up with a new “camouflage ladder” to smuggle people and drugs over Trump's new border wall. The contraptions, made of old, rusted construction rebar, make the climb easy and can't be detected by cameras. Meanwhile, Trump has diverted another $3.8 billion in military funds for his signature achievement. (Mexico won't pay. Duh.) There's more — Trump is dispatching border patrol agents to Sanctuary Cities to root out them horrible immigrants who are doing all our scut work. Adn last but far from least, here in Utah, state legislators are feeling oh so generous after increasing from 0 to 25 percent Salt Lake City's share of property taxes from the Inland Port. That's better than a jab with a sharp stick, but not so charitable when you consider the city should get 100 percent of taxes from its own, damn land. And so it goes.

OK, Wilson, maybe you and the band can take us out with a little something hopeful for our immigrant friends and all the Democrats and everyone else who is on the verge of a nervous breakdown in the age of Trump:

Well, the oppressors are trying to keep me down / Trying to drive me underground / And they think that they have got the battle won / I say forgive them Lord, they know not what they've done / 'Cause, as sure as the sun will shine / I'm gonna get my share now, what's mine / And then the harder they come / The harder they fall, one and all / Ooh, the harder they come / Harder they fall, one and all...

[headcanonsandmore]

What do you think of a fic where Harry goes back in time, to his younger self, to relive his life quieter this time. He tries to dodge all the fame and whatnot, and in the end cultivates Ron to be the main hero kinda like Dumbles did for him, without the Ron getting killed part?

That sounds pretty darn amazing. My boy Ron finally getting a time to shine as the hero we always knew he was. 

Having said that, I’m not sure Harry could stand by and let someone-else take all the hurt and pain that he went through the first time round. 

Thanks for the ask, anon. 

[fandom-trash-xl]

One-Shot: Light in a Wicked Heart (200 Followers Special)

I've decided to bring out another fanfiction, this time focusing on Frost. I made use of some Universe 6 Saga dialogue about Frost's past and decide to incorporate it into a larger story.

Time Placement: Age 777 (3 years prior to the Tournament of Destroyers)

OCs:

- Lord Shiver: Frost's father, 2nd form Icejin with blue-gray and light gray colorations

- Kossetsu: Young child of the Planet Mayonnai

- Kensa: Young adult of the Planet Mayonnai

- Bruselle: Young female Saiyan of the Sadalan Defense Force, a member of Cabba's squadron

- Carotine: Young male Saiyan of the Sadalan Defense Force, a member of Cabba's squadron

- Rhubar: Young male Saiyan of the Sadalan Defense Force, a member of Cabba's squadron

(AGE 777, GALACTIC DAY 295)

The small overseer ship floated gently in the thin stratosphere of the planet Mayonnai, a planet known for... well, no one was particularly sure. But, two space pirates knew that this planet was sure to bring results.

A young blue two-horned lizard, known by many as an Icejin, or Ice Demon, eagerly peered through the massive observation deck window at the dust-colored planet below. This was Frost, the single son of the once-famed crime lord Shiver. Obviously, Shiver's ways had rubbed off on him, as he spent his days travelling the galaxy with his father and pillaging planets.

"Quite the divine pearl, isn't it, boy?" Shiver spoke from behind him, casting a large shadow. "What did the reports say it was called again?"

"I believe it's called Mayonnai, father. Supposedly, asking prices are up to 40,000 Galactic Zen per acre." Frost replied.

"Rather large price for a planet that seems to have no culture to speak of."

"One shouldn't judge a book by its cover, or more precisely, a planet by its surface." The younger Icejin removed his glance from the window and turned to grab a solid black cape from a small metal rack. He pinned it to the shoulder plates of his dark blue armor. "I suppose you want me to go down there? Assess the situation from up close?"

Shiver laughed, teeth gritted in a smile. "Obviously, I can't. Too many people know my name. Go nuts, kid. Just don't do anything you might regret."

The surface of Mayonnai was as dust-colored as the view from space. It was littered with bustling marketplaces. It didn't seem like an ideal place to live, but the consumerism may have been the reason for high demand in land.

Frost had been indecisive on tactics on how to conquer such a busy place, so he had chosen to stay for awhile to plan his troops' approach. He had helped himself to some of the planet's local wares, particularly some baked confections.

And he could finally understand why people wanted to purchase stock in this planet. It was to die for!

Frost had found himself in the middle of the marketplace square and was preparing to report back to his father when he noticed... him.

He was a rather petite creature that seemed to be made entirely of shadows. He had teeny horns, a spiked tail, and torn-up wings. The only bright part of his body was a pair of glowing yellow eyes. He seemed rather malnourished, but was still at a small working post, shining a much larger gentlemen's boots. The creature seemed to have been keeled over for quite some time. He finished his polishing job with a heavy sigh, only for the man to leave ungrateful and flick him a small silver coin. He caught it eagerly as if his life depended on it.

"Another step forward," The creature looked at his reflection in the coin with the simultaneous feelings of worry and hope. "Soon, I'll have enough to be free of this place..." As he turned to add his silver coin to a bucket of change, a slim tall figure, who seemed to be of the same species as the young child, approached.

"Alright, Kossetsu. Let's see what you made this shift."

"I made enough." Kossetsu held his bucket of change close. "Now, go away,  Kensa!"

Kensa swiped the bucket from Kossetsu despite his refusal. "Don't be difficult!" He began to rifle through the coins. "Ah, you've made quite a lot for a polisher. Now, how shall we divide this up today? For your split, let's say..." He looked down at the young Mayonnai child. "What you've got in your claws should suffice. Rest goes to the boss." Kossetsu looked at the lone coin before he started to snarl and his beady eyes filled with tears.

"That's not fair! I worked my arse off for all that!" He jumped onto Kensa and tried to pull the bucket back. 

The latter struggled against him. "Listen, it's not my job to go against the boss's order-"

"Hey!"

Kensa and Kossetsu both turned to see Frost, who was none too pleased. "Let that kid alone, unless you intend to deal with me."

Kensa dropped the child and spread his wings. "Really? What could a common tourist do to one of the strongest of Planet Mayon-"

A red blast struck Kensa in the shoulder, causing him to tense up in major pain. "Sorry, I wasn't trying that time. Shall I try again, seriously this time?" Frost's tail swished, anticipating a challenge. The pained creature ran away in a panic, coins fluttering out of the bucket. 

Kossetsu stumbled to his feet and started to scrounge for the dropped money. "T-thank you, m-mister..."

"Frost. And it was no trouble." He helped him scrape the coins into a small pile.

"Oh. It's nice to meet you. My name's Kossetsu. That was just my caretaker, Kensa."

"Caretaker, hm? Then why does he try to hurt you?"

"The man in charge of us orphans is a heartless scumbag. Kensa doesn't want to hurt me, but the boss tells him the only important thing is money. If I could actually keep most of mine, I could probably buy my way out of here."

Frost frowned. He was a profit-seeking criminal as well, but... not to such a cruel extent. "Listen here a sec." He pulled a confection out of his back and handed it to Kossetsu. "I don't have much to offer on my person at the moment, but this should tide you over. At least until tomorrow." He muttered under his breath. "I can probably pull a few strings..."

"What?"

"Nothing. Just rest well this evening. Let's just say that your tomorrow looks prosperous."

(GALACTIC DAY 296) 

Frost stood in a shaded corner of the Mayonnai marketplace, trying to stay out of sight. His cape blew in the slow wind. His troops had been put into place and it was almost their cue to strike. Three things were on the Ice Demon's mind: combat, profit...

...and the young boy. 

Meanwhile, four Saiyan scouts of the Planet Sadala were scouring the marketplace. As a protectorate of the Saiyan homeworld, Mayonnai had small troops of watchful Saiyan eyes, scanning the perimeter, ready to defend.

The lone female Saiyan of the group, dressed in green, gold, and pink and wearing her spiked hair in a messy bun, sighed heavily. "Cabba, I don't see any threats in sight. Tell me again why we're still scouring?"

"I understand why you're getting antsy over this, Bruselle, but the Captain said there were reports of Lord Shiver's band of space pirates in the stratosphere." Cabba, a young Saiyan teen in blue, replied. He was somewhat anxious of the situation. If the villains were to strike, wouldn't they have done it already? 

As the elite continued along the line of vendors, a sudden and echoing blast came from a small section of houses. 

"They're here..." Cabba jolted at the sound, then turned to his two other teammates, one in orange and the other in burgundy. "Carotine, you take the east. Rhubar, you take west. Bruselle and I will take the square." The Saiyan pressed a button on his temple, activating a full blue visor. 

"Let's show these punks what for!"

The attack was right on schedule. Frost lept in from the shadows, appearing in front of the troops, right in sight of several Mayonnai children working, most likely the mistreated orphans of the plan. "Children! Inside! All of you!" He commanded. The beings did as told and herded into an empty building. "Don't worry, I'll protect you." He had to make sure they were all alright. He couldn't have his father's plan ruin his own plan to save Kossetsu. "Now, punks, prepare yourself to face the storm..."

Suddenly, a spiky-haired girl slipped into the group and knocked down some of the grunts with a savage low kick.

"Sh-t, no one told me the Sadalan Saiyan Squadrons would be here." The Ice Demon cursed under his breath. A second Saiyan leaped into battle, performing a barrage of ki blast spin kicks. 

"Tch, out of my way, Saiyans! I can handle this!" Frost tripped a soldier with his tail, then grabbed his neck with his legs, flipping him over in a somersault. He tumbled into a row of remaining troops, creating a domino effect. 

"He's good." Bruselle snarled. "But, we don't take orders from hopeless vigilantes. Right, Cabba?" Cabba was standing stunned in awe. "Cabba?!"

"I-I can't believe it- It's him!" Cabba's knees were shaking. "It's the planetary hero, Frost. From all the magazines!"

"I don't care who it is!" His partner barked. "We can't let this punk steal our thunder. Snap out of it, Cabba!"

Cabba nodded. "Yes. Of course." He rushed back into fight, swiftly bashing in a few villains' heads with a kick. He attempted to recreate Frost's grab, only to stumble and knock over only one. 

"Nice attempt, but I'll show you how a real fighter handles this." Frost propelled himself off of one of the grunts' heads and hooked his feet to loose bricks on the corner of a nearby building. A barrage of red Death Beams came from his outstretched finger. He laughed maniacally as the foes were struck. A beam barely missed Bruselle.

"The hell?! It's like the bastard is trying to kill me!"

"Never mind that, Bruselle! We're all clear in this sector!"

"Yeah, thanks to Mister Showoff here." Bruselle grumbled.

Cabba turned to look over at Frost, who was brushing the dust off his armor and cape. He was much more impressive than the articles had described him as. He was stunning, eye-catching... and pretty darn attractive.

"Bruselle, if you don't mind, I-I think I'm going to talk to him." Cabba stuttered.

"Sure thing, give him a piece of my mind."

The young Saiyan approached the Icejin with hesitancy. "Um, sir, would you happen to be Frost? The famed planetary protector?"

"Ah, I see I'm well known even amongst the Saiyans." Frost laughed a little and extended his hand. "It's a pleasure meeting a fan!"

"Uh, y-yes, a pleasure to meet you too. I-I'm Cabba." Cabba grabbed Frost's hand and felt his face glowing with heat. "I must say, compared to in the magazines, you're a lot more handsome in real life-" He panicked. "I-I mean, more heroic- Just forget I said anything!"

"No problem, good sir." Frost let go. "I must being going anyways. It's been a pleasure, Cabba!" He turned to enter the building containing the young Mayonnai children.

All of the young creatures flocked around the heroic Ice Demon. One in particular with ripped wings came to the front. Kossetsu. 

"Mister Frost, I knew you'd come back!"

"Yes, and I've come for an important reason. I'm here to set you all free."

The children cheered in excitement over being freed from the tyranny. "Now, let's get-"

"Hey! Punk!" 

Frost turned to see another Mayonnai being. He was rather short, but seemed to an adult. He was standing on a chair to gain some height. "What do you think you're doing with my workers?"

"It's called liberation, wise guy. It is my duty to free these innocents from oppression."

"Not if I have anything to say about it. These little workers have made me a fortune, and you can't take them from me!" The older man pulled a taser from his desk. "Leave this planet now or I'll be forced to use this."

"I see you're well armed. But, I am too." A small needle extended from Frost's wrist.

"Heh, you intend to defeat me with a pin? Think again, bud."

"I could tell you the same thing."

The Ice Demon lunged at the boss, who promptly activated the electric taser. Before the sparks could reach him, Frost managed to shoot the thorn from his wrist. It implanted itself in the boss's neck. The weapon flickered off and the villain began to feel faint.

"W-what did you d-do to me? W-why are y-you s-sideways?" Shortly after, the boss fell to the ground. He could have been unconscious, he could have been dead. Frost didn't care which. 

"Now, where were we?" Frost turned to the children. "Oh, that's right. Freedom." All of them cheered. "Now before I depart, I'll give you the best advice I can offer. Whatever happens, never give up. Always get back on your feet. Farewell children of Mayonnai." 

"Thank you for all you help Mister Frost." Kossetsu spoke to the Ice Demon as he prepared to depart through the back door. "I'll never forget you."

Frost paused. Something inside him was telling him he couldn't leave Kossetsu here. "Oh, I just remembered." He turned back. "I have to make an adoption first." He lowered to face the torn-winged creature. "Kossetsu, how would you like to come with me?"

The creature eagerly spread out his wings, small tears forming in his neon yellow eyes. "Yes. Yes, I will."

"Frost, what did you bring back?" Shiver asked with confusion. "Some sort of animal?"

"No, father. It's a person."

"You took a hostage? Impressive, son!"

"No!" He set down Kossetsu. "He's not a hostage, and his name is Kossetsu."

"Oh Champa almighty, you gave it a name?!" Shiver held his head. "You're not supposed to get attached to these creatures. They don't live as long as us. It's going to die one day and you'll regret ever naming it in the first place."

"I don't care that I'll outlive him. I'm keeping him. Now, if you don't mind, Kossetsu needs some food. He's been starving for some time now."

"Son, we do not waste our food on the peasants."

"Well, maybe you don't, but I'm not as heartless as you, father." Frost led Kossetsu into another room. "Come on, kid. Let's go somewhere with less scumbags."

(GALACTIC DAY 303)

It had been a week since Frost had brought in Kossetsu. The Ice Demon had kept a watchful eye on the child and had him accompany him on various conquests.

Today was another one of those conquests and Frost was in search of his small companion. He was a bit panicked. He hoped that he wasn't in danger. He felt responsible for his well-being.

"Father, Kossetsu isn't anywhere in the ship."

"That is correct, son." Shiver replied.

"What do you mean by that?" Frost's eyes narrowed.

"I let that wretched thing free this morning."

"You WHAT?!"

"Set it free. It's gone. You have to let things go eventually. I sent it to the ice moon of Kadaver, into the wild where it belongs."

"He can't survive there!" Frost rushed to grab his cloak. "I'm going after him."

"You can't, Frost." Shiver turned to his son. "You'll freeze to death down there!"

"Better me than him." The younger Icejin put the hood up on his cloak and determinedly open the ship's exit hatch.

The ice moon of Kadaver was a barren wasteland of snow. Thankfully, Kossetsu's dark figure would easily stand out in the blizzard. 

On the down side, Frost realized his father was right. He'd have to find him quickly, or he'd probably be an ice block.

Out of the snow came a small shadowy figure, its wings spread. Kossetsu, no doubt.

"Kossetsu, I'm here! Don't panic!" Frost rushed to the child through the tundra. He was in high pursuit, until...

A much larger creature, almost wolf-like swooped in, grabbing the Mayonnai child in its maw. "No!" 

Kossetsu tried to wriggle out of the wolf being's jaws to no avail. "Help me!"

"Let him go, you beast!"

The creature started to form a more humanoid bipedal shape. "Hmph, this is my prey. What makes you think you can take it from me, tiny?"

Frost snarled. "Because no one hurts Kossetsu and gets away with it!"  He rushed into the wolf beast, feeling his entire body engulfed with an unusual energy. He seemed to change further the closer he got. When he finally made contact, he was entirely different. His armor had broken off, he was much slimmer, and he no longer had horns. It must have been a strong new form, as he had managed to send the creature flying and free Kossetsu from its jaws.

The wolf was crippled from the impact and was coughing blood. Despite its already major injuries, Frost still felt an instinct to continue fighting it. He kicked the beast skyward and swiftly punched it straight through the gut, impaling it. Blood was spread on his arm. So much damage through his fury  had been done, though he felt  as if he hadn't put much effort into his attacks. Was this the might of his new form? It was... 

...terrifying.

He removed his fist from the deceased beast and tried to clean the wolf blood from his body with his tattered cloak.

Kossetsu rushed up to the newly transformed Ice Demon. "M-Mister Frost, are you alright?" His voice was growing weak, probably from the cold. "I-I wanna go home. I'm c-cold..."

"Kossetsu, I was so worried!" He grabbed his tiny friend in a frenzied hug. "I thought I'd lose you! Please tell me you're okay, Kosse-" The creature was silent. He looked at the child. He was paralyzed, his breathing had stopped.

"Kossetsu..." 

His neck had been snapped. 

And it was because of Frost's own uncontrollable strength.

"No...

No...

No....!"

(GALACTIC DAY 304)

Frost woke up within his father's ship, facing the ceiling.  His breathing was being paced by a oxygen mask. Had he passed out?

"Sir, he's awake."

Shiver entered his sight. "Son, are you alright? You were out cold. Quite literally might I add."

Frost pulled the oxygen mask off of his face and began to position himself upright. "I... had the strangest dream..."

"Hm. In said dream, were you in a different form, perhaps?"

The younger Icejin paused. "How did you know the very specific part of my dream?"

"Because it wasn't a dream, son." Shiver passed him a hand mirror. Frost's eyes widened. It was the form... The form of uncontrollable strength. There were even still a few droplets of wolf blood on his face. The mirror snapped in his hand almost immediately. "You unlocked your final form, Frost. I'm proud of you."

However, instead of pride or joy, Frost felt two different emotions. Fury and pain. Tears came from his eyes as he sat in silence. 

"Why aren't you happy about this, kid? Reaching the final form is a pivotal point in every young Icejin's life."

"Because...." Frost snarled. "I don't want to be in this form anymore. Tell me how to transform back."

"Why would you want to go back, son? If it's the whole 'breaking things in your hands' thing, that'll stop soon once your power settles."

"It's not that! This uncontrollable might... it kills. This form is the reason why Kossetsu is dead! Tell me how to transform back, now!"

"Well, that's no big deal. The thing was going to die anyway-"

Shiver was interrupted by his son's hand around his throat.

"F-Frost! What the hell are you doing?!" He managed to croak.

"Now, do you see why I want to go back?! All this form does is hurt people!"

"Frost, you have to give your newfound power a chance!"

"Tell me how to transform back, now!" Frost turned to put his other hand around Shiver's neck until the older Icejin finally kneed him in the stomach, sending him backward. 

"Fine, kid. I'll tell you, once you calm down."

Frost simply stood up and walked off. "Tch." He scoffed, thinking back to the time when there was light in his wicked heart.

[freesearchengines-blog]

The Researchers Have Defined Age Of The First Cat

The Researchers Have Defined Age Of The First Cat. They may not hold the title of "man's best friend," but domesticated cats have been purring around the ill fame for a elongate time. Just how long? New scrutiny points back at least 5300 years, at which point felines needing nutriment and humans needing rodent killers may have entered into a mutually beneficial relationship vigrxusa.club. "We all brotherhood cats, but they're not a herd animal," study co-author Fiona Marshall said. So "They're a unsocial species, and so they're really rare in archeological sites, which means we just don't have knowledge of much about their history with people". New scientific methods enabled Marshall's team to show what led to cats' domestication. While dogs were attracted to commonalty living as hunter-gatherers 9000 to 20000 years ago, it looks take a shine to cats were first domesticated as farmer's animals purchase erectile dysfunction drugs. "Cats had a dilemma obtaining food, and so were attracted to our millet grain. And farmers had a problem with rodents, and found it useful to have cats lunch them," said Marshall, a professor of archaeology and acting chair of the anthropology sphere of influence at Washington University of St Louis. The findings are published in the Dec 16, 2013 delivery of the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences smoking pipes perth. The authors point out that although cats are one of the most fashionable pet species in the world, information regarding the timing of their domestication has been sparse, based mostly on Egypt artifacts that date back about 4000 years and show the animals were home dwellers then. Additional anthropological manifest of the connection had also been unearthed in Cyprus, the team notes, suggesting some form of close phone (although not necessarily domesticity) dating back roughly 9500 years. But an inability to braze the dots between these two periods has frustrated researchers for years. The current revelation stems from an scrutiny of eight cat bones, attributed to at least two cats, unearthed near a modest agricultural village known as Quanhucun in Shaanxi province, China. The cats were described as nearly the same in size to domestic cats found today in Europe. Radiocarbon dating identified the cats as having lived about 5300 years ago - 3000 years before the earliest steward cats time past identified in China. The researchers also subjected human, cat, and rodent bones to polished isotope analyses, which indicated the three had similar eating patterns. All three had consumed "substantial" amounts of millet-based foods. This suggests the cats were devouring animals that lived on millet. Also, one of the cats was found to have enchanted in more millet-based food, and less meat, than would have been expected. This aciform either to feline scavenging behavior or feeding of the cats by city residents, the authors surmised. The band also described supporting archeological evidence - ceramic storage containers for millet, which suggested that kind residents at the time had been coping with a rodent threat. And "Later, they are gradually domesticated as pet, I suppose," said observe author Yaowu Hu, of the Institute of Vertebrate Paleontology and Paleoanthropology at the Chinese Academy of Sciences in Beijing. The next step dow a resign is to conduct an in-depth DNA study to precisely categorize the identity of the cats found in Quanhucun. That work is already slated to begin but without her involvement. Cat lovers are taking the findings in stride. The non-profit Cat Fanciers Association of Alliance, Ohio, thinks the feline domestication take care of is not yet a done deal. "Domestication of cats is an darned gradual and evolving evolutionary process," said Joan Miller, chair of outreach and education for the association. Naturally circumspect and independent by nature, "cats, as a species, have the least likelihood of being domesticated by humans". And their wit to hear, smell and see at night far exceeds that of humans. "They only will do what brings them reward, and cannot be trained to pulling power things, herd animals, or to perform work for humans. It is probable cats themselves chose domestication and that we are in point of fact seeing this process continuing today" health. More information For more about our feline friends, drop in the Cat Fanciers Association.

[ffxiv-swarm]

prompt 29: debonair

He’s not a stylish person. Such is both vanity and pride, and no man could ever accuse him of either sin. If his clothes are decently modest and suitable for the weather, he has all he could ever need. What matter is it that his elbows are patched, his hems darned, his seams resewn in thread that doesn’t quite match? The robes of a priest are not meant to be covered in gold and jewels (though he is given a set of those anyway, for the high holy days, and by the Fury they chafe his soul.)

(His people starve. His people starve, and the Church gives him cloth of gold?)

Even when he sets aside his robes for the doublets and hose of an adventurer, they’re not meant to be flashy. He’s not meant to be flashy. He’s still a priest of Halone, is he not? His goddess requires action, not meaningless symbols of wealth. He wears grays and blacks and dark, serviceable blues, colors that hold up well to wear and don’t show stains easily. Busari is a red-winged blackbird next to his own sober sparrow, and that suits him fine. He does not long for fame nor fortune.

(But the others pass him by, in their shining plate or crackling aetherwoven robes threaded in silver, in their slashed leathers and their jangling mail, and he wonders. If he dressed like them, would others look at him the same way? Like someone to be respected as more than the embodiment of their faith?)

The free company is his idea, but it is his friends who help him put it into practice. They help him find a house, print fliers, keep the ledger for more than just his own skin-and-bones corpus. They help him grow strong. Busari is the one who wades into battle under their red-and-white standard most often, spreading the word of their purpose. Their mission. Halone’s mercy, Evrard adores him.

But when the people Busari have gathered come to the doors of Vidofnir’s Wings, it’s Evrard they ask for. And that leads him to his current plight.

“It’s...silk.”

Ekhtuya is of the Qestir and does not speak out loud—she has sign language or her trusty slate for that—but she points emphatically at the coat she and Haruka have bullied Evrard into and he knows what she means. Coming only to his hips in the front, it flares out into an extravagant arrangement of tails and half-capes and ruffles in the back. The sleeves are festooned with silver diamonds and trimmed with lace, the middle portion of the coat itself stiffened with whalebone and tied in the back like a lady’s stays for a better fit. There is a cravat. And yes, it is made not just of silk (red, in this case) but aetherwoven silk, so conductive to magic that his own aether almost makes him giddy. He forces that feeling down. He’s trying to be annoyed, damn her, even if he’s never worn anything this fine.

Haruka folds her arms and says bluntly, “What is it you’re always telling Master Vesper? ‘No one will hire you if you look like old laundry’?”

His ears droop. “That’s—I—” She’s right, of course. He does say that, and Alan never listens, and it’s infuriating. But Alan isn’t a priest, isn’t sworn to—

(Poverty? No. He never took those vows.)

Against his will, his gaze is drawn to himself in the mirror. He almost doesn’t recognize the man staring back at him. Tall and slim, with sleek white hair and crimson eyes and the slate-gray skin that marks him indelibly as a Duskwight, speckled with more dark freckles than he remembers. The coat is precisely three shades lighter than his eyes, a red so vivid it looks like fresh blood. There’s a loop at one hip where he could easily attach his sword. It makes him look dangerous.

It makes him look powerful. Like...like someone who can protect those he’s sworn to aid, instead of someone who shivers uselessly in the cold and castigates himself for not doing less.

He takes the coat.

[nixonsmoviereviews]

"Jesus, Bro!"- A good bit of charming, low-budget fun from the geniuses behind "The Cinema Snob."

A sort-of satire on the recent wave of mainstream religious hits courtesy companies like Pure Flix and personalities including David A.R. White, "Jesus, Bro!" is an entertaining and often laugh-out- loud parody from the same geniuses that brought us the popular movie- review series "The Cinema Snob." With some great laughs, likable leads and plenty of nice callbacks for fans of the Snob and other related web- series, it definitely comes highly recommended from me. And while I could bemoan a few strange and awkward moments that don't quite add up and more than a few instances of the production being hampered by an incredibly tight budget (primarily raised through a crowd-funding campaign that I happily contributed to myself), I think there's a lot of charm and good-will on display that more than makes up for any shortcomings. And I think that when it comes to such independent affairs... charm and good will on the part of filmmakers is a key to success. David Gobble stars as Rick Whitehead, an incredibly popular internet atheist vlogger who learns that he's set to win the prestigious "Atheist of the Year" award. Unfortunately, things take a bit of a turn for the worse as his gruff attitude leads to the end of his long- time relationship with religious girlfriend Elizabeth (Allison Pregler) and he suffers a near-death experience after drinking beer brewed with holy water... After learning that his life is a lie and that God and Jesus are very-much real (and that Jesus evidently likes to dress as "Santa Christ"), Rick must go on a spiritual quest to use his internet fame to convert his millions of followers and try to win Elizabeth back at any cost. In a lot of ways, the film is very much tailor-made for fans of those involved, particularly co-writer/co-producer/co-star and Cinema Snob himself Brad Jones and his other alum from Channel Awesome. It's a great bit of fun seeing performers like Pregler, Doug and Rob Walker and some other surprise cameos in supporting roles and it gives the whole feature a sort-of laid-back "let's put on a show!" vibe that I enjoyed. You get the feeling that everyone involved is having a blast and are all getting along splendidly behind the scenes, and it's a delightfully infectious feeling when you watch it. I can't help but wonder if this might be lost on those who are unfamiliar with the cast and the crew, but to me, it really helped elevate the film. Director and co-writer Ryan Mitchelle does an admirable job in his visual guidance with the material, and despite an oft-obvious lack of major funding, is able to make the best with what he has. There's some really solid cinematography and keen use of framing that I appreciated (having seen my share of micro-budget features and over-produced student films back in my college Media- Arts days... you quickly learn to appreciate simple, concise direction), and the film is never dull with its generally good sense of pacing. I also found all of the performers to be quite good in their respective roles. Gobble is definitely quite likable and Pregler is a blast with some great recurring gags that I will not spoil. Fard Muhammad rounds out the lead cast as a good friend of Rick's who helps him on his quest, and he gets a lot of moments to shine. Add to that small roles by the amusing hams that are the Walker siblings and the rest of the cast and you got a great ensemble. That praise being said, I do think that the film has some minor flaws that I can't help but address. I do think that at times it can either drag on too long or rush through things a bit too quickly. There's a few prolonged gags and sequences of dialog that could use a slight bit of trimming and a few major plot-points that could have used an extra minute or two to set-in. It's not a major flaw... but it is noticeable. I also think that in a few key sequences, they made a pretty common mistake when it comes to comedy... over-explaining the joke. And trust me, I get it. Trying to figure out what the audience is thinking is tricky. But I think it's better just to let a joke play-out without explanation and see if it lands or not rather than making the joke... then having another character reference the oddity of what happened. Still, I'm pretty darned pleased by how "Jesus, Bro!" turned out. It's very much a film for the fans (and I'm judging it by that merit, since I think it would be unfair to analyze it otherwise), and I can't help but think that fellow followers of the Snob will definitely get a big kick out of it. Some of its humor and references might be lost on first-time viewers or people who are unaware of the material its lovingly mocking. But it's all in good fun, and it's a very charming micro-budget feature from a group of people who are trying their hardest to make us laugh. And for that, I give it a very good 8 out of 10.

[hello-there]

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[sonic-nancy-fan]

De quoi les gens se plaignent?~Mistinguett, reine des années folles English Trans-lyrics + French Lyrics (Parole)

These are my English trans-lyrics for De quoi les gens se plaignent? from  Mistinguett, reine des années folles. This song was short enough that it wasn’t included on the official album, and since there was no official DVD release, there isn’t a superb copy of the song anywhere. However, a friend of mine, @dangereuse-liaison​, listened to the live version and tried her best to get the French lyrics to translate. SO, these are based on her version, and they seem pretty darn accurate, so I’ll post the French dictation as well

English Trans-lyrics

Download English Lyrics

I saw him there, lying by heaven So I took his wings and just laughed at him He’s downed, you’ll see I’m flying I’m flying

So the sun will shine through all of the rain It all has a price, so I must betray Without speaking I’m laughing I’m laughing

Why do people complain? In love with things they hate They’re trained to turn the other cheek Why do people complain? Far from Christian anyway To win, I would do anything

But, every night Every night Nightmares come to life With no light With no light And my heart feels Empty Greedy Tell me I don’t care

But, every night Every night Nightmares come to life Though I’ve tried Though I’ve tried And my heart feels Weary Leaving With this love to spare

Why do people complain? When the lights go out each day They just lie down and close their eyes Why do people complain? All those who never deign To dress like a wolf to survive

Pray to the Madonna and sanctify Survival of the fittest, any price The ending goal: An idol An idol

They follow behind as I move on first Taking the treasures that they all offer This protocol Makes me crawl Makes me crawl

Why do people complain? No one can ever reach fame Without the grace of some misdeeds Why do people complain? No mercy for those in my way To climb up, I’d do anything

French Lyrics

Il gisait pres du paradis J'ai pris ses ailes Alors j'ai rit Il reste au sol Moi je vole Moi je vole

Pour voir le soleil a travers la pluie Puisque tout se paye alors je trahis Et sans parole J'en rigole J'en rigole

De quoi les gens se plaignent? Epris de ce qu'ils craignent Dresses a tendre l'autre joue De quoi les gens se plaignent? Loin de leur bonte chretienne Pour gagner je suis prete a tout

Mais tous les soirs, Tous les soirs Je fais des cauchemars Dans le noir Dans le noir Et je sens mon coeur Vide Avide Me dire je m'en fous

Mais tous les soirs, Tous les soirs Je fais des cauchemars J'en ai marre J'en ai marre Et je sens mon coeur Las Qui part Sans s'aimer beaucoup

De quoi les gens se plaignent? Quand les lumieres s'eteignent Ils dorment et c'est a peu pres tout De quoi les gens se plaignent? Eux qui jamais ne daignent Se glisser dans la peau du loup

Je pris Madonne et je sanctifie La loi du plus fort quel qu'en soit le prix Pour l'aureole D'une idole D'une idole

J'avance d'abord et derriere on suit A moi les tresors qu'on me sacrifie Ce protocole J'en suis folle J'en suis folle

De quoi les gens se plaignent? Les vrais sommets ne s'atteignent Que par la grace des mauvais coups De quoi les gens se plaignent? Il n'y a pas de pitie qui tienne Pour monter j'irais jusqu'au bout

[abrutledge]

The Best Coming of Age Movies You’ve Never Seen

It’s no wonder I grew up to be a YA writer. I have always loved coming of age stories. I often think about the books that shaped my outlook on the world, but what about the movies? Sure, we could talk about my love for Say Anything, or which Molly Ringwald movie is the best (Pretty In Pink, IMO), but how about a list of some totally excellent, but lesser-known, films about the teen years?

1. My Bodyguard (1980)

Nerdy new kid gets bullied until he teams up with a troubled older boy. The Outsiders-era Matt Dillon plays school jackass Melvin Moody and we get some quality time with Ruth Gordon of Harold and Maude fame, who plays the MC’s kooky grandma.

2. Breaking Away (1979) 

Italy-obsessed cyclist pretends to be a foreign exchange student to impress a girl. I love the rich college kids versus poor townies aspect of this film and the whole cast really shines! 

3. Gas, Food, Lodging (1992)  

We all love to hate Fairuza Balk as Nancy in the craft, but she’s so endearing here as artsy loner girl Shade. I recently rewatched this and I have to say it didn’t hold up as well as I thought (particularly the strange, abrupt ending) but there is a lot of magic and beauty to this film, which plays out like it could have been written by Francesca Lia Block.

4. Angus (1995) 

Oh how I adore Angus Bethune (plus that hip 90s alt soundtrack)! This was one of my favorite movies growing up and last year’s rewatch had me grinning and mouthing along. Angus, snarky fat kid, finds himself the butt of the ol’ “let’s make the weirdo prom royalty” joke, and unlike Stephen King’s Carrie, he knows what’s up—and manages to have a great time anyway.

5. Polish Wedding (1998) 

This is almost more of a movie about a dysfunctional family than simply a coming of age story about a pregnant teen girl. I watched it obsessively when I was a teenager, probably because my own family was just so gosh darn…normal. Awesome feminist moment alert: Claire Danes lifting her chin, straightening the crown on her head, and flipping the bird to the crowd of townsfolk who don’t think she should be allowed to lead the Procession of the Virgins, what with her being sexually active and all.

6. Restless (2011) 

Okay. I’ll admit it. I actually like Manic Pixie Dream Girl movies. This definitely falls into that category, and it’s about Sad Cancer Kids, too. But it’s a Gus Van Sant film with a few charming, unique elements that make even the biggest YA-Cliche-Haters fall in love.

7. Heavenly Creatures (1994) 

This story about friendship (or more-than-friendship) turned murder is based on a true story. You can’t help but get sucked into Juliet and Pauline’s world and root for them, even when their story takes a dark, dark turn.

8. Beware the Gonzo (2011) 

Okay, so, maybe I’m biased because I’ve got a little crush, but Ezra Miller is perfection in this story about a teenage journalist who decides to start an underground newspaper at his high school. If you ask me, the most hilarious scene Ezra has ever acted in (and trust me, I’ve seen them all) is in this film when his character describes losing his virginity.

9.Gingersnaps (2000) 

While the rest of these films take place in everyday settings, this horror film about teenage werewolves is “puberty is hell” at its finest.

10. Lost and Delirious (2001), The Adventures of Sebastian Cole (1998), and Breakfast on Pluto (2005). 

This list, and my teen years, were severely lacking in decent LGBT+ rep. I hesitate to add these movies, as I haven’t watched them recently to see how they hold up. They were definitely ground-breaking in their day, and, at the very least, seeing them while living in a time and place where being openly queer was dangerous and taboo, helped expand my worldview.

That’s my list! Did I miss one of your faves? Let me know what you’d add.

[thefinalcinderella]

DIVE!! Book 1 Chapter 1-DIVE TO BLUE

Here’s Chapter 1! Not sure if I should split these chapters up, since they’re quite long, but I’m not sure how to split them, so if you want me to split them up, then leave a comment!

Full list of translations here.

Previously on DIVE!!: A woman secretly watches a teenage boy dive into the ocean in winter. 

The platform overlooked the restless blue. Whenever Tomoki stood at the tip of the concrete that jutted out from the diving platform, he was always hit by a deep sense of regret. Darn it, he thought. How could I be so careless that I just keep coming back here again and again?

A flight from a height of ten meters.

A dive at sixty kilometers per hour.

A mere 1.4 seconds of an aerial performance.

It really is quite ridiculous to somersault, twist the body, and get into a water entry position in such a short instance, all the while enduring that speed from that height.

Tomoki caught a glimpse of his feet, with his heels at the front of the platform and his cramped, rounded toes in the air. Don’t look down. Don’t think about it. If you hesitate, your feet won’t budge after that no matter what. Even though he knew this, Tomoki was still occasionally possessed by the “hesitation sickness”.

The diving pool shimmered from the setting sun shining through the window.

The transparent undulations of the water were like countless whorls of hair, entangled together.

A mysterious, elusive world of water awaited Tomoki far, far below.

When people learned that he was a diver, everyone always asked, “Aren’t you afraid?”. However, most people were thinking about the height of the diving platform, not the actual horrors hiding beneath it.

Water. That eerie liquid that never stayed still for even a moment. If you plunge into it at sixty kilometers per hour, the resistance created would be more similar to that of thin ice than water. If he succeeded in entering the water, Tomoki would feel the pleasurable sensation of diving into thin ice. Water always greeted a successful person warmly, so its welcome would feel like being wrapped in a soft gel.

But what if he failed? The water would then strike at his body without mercy. The impact will far greater than what someone watching would imagine it to be. Violent and dizzying blows to the consciousness, accompanied by nauseating pain, and it only gets worse when the whole body is paralyzed and sinks to the bottom of the water. Tomoki had actually fainted and almost drowned several times during practice, and had to be saved by his coach and teammates.

“Hey, Tomo, what are you looking at! Are there fish in the pool?” Coach Fujitani’s voice flew up from the poolside.

I must not look. Tomoki quickly glanced away from the water. He slowly turned his head back to look at Reiji and Ryou, who were waiting their turn on the diving platform’s staircase.

He resigned himself and faced the water, taking a deep breath. If he had been alone here, he would have turned back to the staircase dejectedly with the excuse that he was in terrible form today.  But doing that in front of his teammates would be way too uncool, and most importantly, Coach Fujitani would never forgive him.

Tomoki stopped looking down and stared straight ahead instead. Focus on your lower body, concentrate harder, and plan out everything you do from now on with your head.

The forward reverse 1½ somersault in tuck position.

The success rate of the move isn’t bad. It’ll be all right. It’ll go okay for sure. While talking to himself, he spread both of his hands, as he bent his knees rhythmically to apply momentum, and jumped high—

Tomoki’s body was stationary at a certain point as he flew in midair, tracing a small circle backwards as he plunged down. In the next moment, when his fingertips that were joined together at the top of his head touched the water, Tomoki’s body was slightly angled as he submerged into it, causing a huge splash to go up.

The angle of entry was too shallow. His palm, which struck the water in a strange way, became numb. Nevertheless, in the water that bubbled up from his dive, as usual, Tomoki felt that indescribably comfortable feeling,

The sense of accomplishment from overcoming his fear, and the feeling of being relieved from tension.

And, the exhilaration of being in the water, not knowing whether it was friend or foe.

As he got out of the pool, he received some directions from Coach Fujitani for his performance just now.

“Your takeoff (1) is too half-hearted.”

“You’re straining your shoulder.”

“Your performance ends when your toes enter the water. Don’t lose focus until it’s all over.”

After nodding towards (2) each direction, Tomoki unsteadily walked toward the platform again. He could only see white, his skin still felt the sensation of being in water, and his feet felt light as he ascended the platform’s stairs, feeling a bit tired and strangely euphoric.

Maybe, just for a moment.

Something seized in those 1.4 seconds.

For the sake of making that pleasure his own, and more certain.

As if Tomoki was chasing some sort of rare animal, he set his sights on the platform, far above.

And indeed, as he set both feet on the edge once more…damn it, how did I so carelessly come to this place again…he was once again hit by an incorrigibly deep sense of regret.

“Tomo, you were frozen up there earlier.”

“He didn’t dive all that easily either. I was watching from behind and he looked pretty scared.”

During their break, as soon as they jumped into the Jacuzzi bath to warm themselves up, Reiji and Ryou both burst out talking as if they had beenwaiting for this moment.

“Sorry…I was stuck in a weird state of mind. It happens sometimes, and I’m not sure why I can’t dive.” Tomoki said.

Reiji nodded vigorously.

“Don’t worry, I get it. Something like ‘Even though I was able to dive yesterday and today, I might not be able to dive tomorrow’, right?”

“I just kept thinking about what will happen if I make a mistake in that situation. It doesn’t seem to be very good to imagine on the platform.”

“Imagination is the enemy!” Ryou said in a strange tone of voice.

“What, were you trying to copy Coach Nakanishi?”

“Yeah, he says that all the time. He says that when you’re on the platform, you should throw your imagination away, and become a rubber ball that can only bounce.”

“But Coach Fujitani doesn’t agree with that. He says to pretend you’re a bird, and then to immediately pretend you’re a fish. The most important thing is your mind’s performance, or something like that.”

“So, those two don’t agree with each other. Maybe that’s why Coach Nakanishi quit…” Tomoki’s voice sank.

“Coach Nakanishi didn’t quit because of his relationship with Coach Fujitani. It’s because our club’s going under soon, so he’s just moving to a more secure place.” Reiji replied, his voice sinking as well.

A silence dwelled between the three of them. Even though this topic depressed them every time they talked about it, they always ended up coming back to it, despite whatever they were talking about before.

“It really is just that. Out there, there’s clubs that have more famous, stronger divers, and have monthly salaries that are better than ours…”

“That’s not it…” Tomoki interrupted Ryou. “Coach Nakanishi didn’t transfer just for money, or fame.”

“Is that right?”

“Yeah!”

“Okay, okay. We’ll leave it like that then.”

Hearing Ryou’s humouring tone, Tomoki was embarrassed at how childish he sounded, but he still didn’t want to hear about how Coach Nakanishi transferred from the club for money.

Tomoki, Reiji, and Ryou. The three of them were enrolled in the Mizuki Diving Club (MDC), which was directly managed by the major sports manufacturer Mizuki. There were rumors that the club was in deficit management and that its survival was in danger. Its divers included twenty-six elementary school students, seven middle school students, and one high school student. Twenty-six to seven to one. This ratio spoke to everybody about how difficult it is to continue diving as it is.

Diving was that kind of sport. It’s scary, painful, cold, and filled with constant suffering. Most people couldn’t put up with it and ended up quitting. Because of that, a good diver was hard to train, the competitions weren’t very lively, and it only got modest coverage on TV and in the newspapers, always overshadowed by the showier swimming races.

Of course, the reason for the downturn wasn’t just limited to the divers. There was a chronic shortage of coaches in the Japanese diving world. Even if a child with the physical aptitude and determination appeared, there weren’t many institutions that could nurture that talent in the current Japan.

That’s why six years ago the president of Mizuki made the bold first step to overcome this situation by establishing the MDC. The president being a former diver, he was especially enthusiastic about the development of the Japanese diving world, and set out to nurture the diver who would be responsible for the future of the diving world, at the risk of a large deficit. It was a wonderful aspiration.

However, he died. His hepatitis worsened, and the curtain was closed on his life in mid-January of this year.

Since then, the MDC that was left behind became a mere nuisance to Mizuki, and it shifted to become a more general swimming club. But there were constant rumors that it was going to be closed, and recently, those mere rumors seemed to be supported when one of the three coaches got poached by a Kansai diving club. Tomoki was doubly shocked when he learned that he’d been abandoned by his trusted coach, and that the MDC had been cornered to that extent.

“I also believe in Coach Nakanishi. It can’t be helped when your livelihood is on the line. It is a recession, after all.” Reiji said, like he was trying to wave away the humidity in the bathroom. “Besides, if the MDC survives without shutting down, Coach Nakanishi might come back.”

Tomoki was saved by that voice, but Ryou responded with an “Is that so”.

“I don’t think we’ll survive. But I know where Reiji’s confidence is coming from.”

“Youichi-kun.”

“Youichi-kun?”

“Our club has Youichi-kun. If he continues to be active in our club and help improve Mizuki’s image, won’t the executives regret it when they shut us down? That was what he was saying.”

“He said it himself?”

“From himself.”

“…Youichi-kun saying such a thing is so amazing.”

The three gave a big sigh at the same time as they relaxed.

“Well, it’s true that Youichi-kun is a huge asset to have, the problem is whether we can wait until then.”

When they returned to the pool while listening to Ryou’s cooled voice, Youichi had just climbed up the steps of the diving platform.

The twenty-five square-meter diving pool was filled to the brim with water. The Eidai-affiliated (3) Sakuragi High School Diving Club had appeared out of nowhere around the pool. Even at the one-meter springboard backing the window that reflected Akebono Bay, there was some university club already beginning water entry practice.

In the winter, when the outdoor pools couldn’t be used, all the divers scattered around Tokyo gathered around Akebono Bay like this—whether they want to or not. This was because the Tokyo Tatsumi International Swimming Center was the only facility in Tokyo that had an indoor diving pool.

“Fujitani-kun, for this one, try diving from the seven-meter (4) this time.” The advisor of the Sakuragi High School Diving Club, Coach Abe, called up to Youichi, who was on the ten-meter platform, from the poolside.

“Ok.”

Youichi nodded and went down to the 7.5-meter platform.

That was Youichi: MDC’s ace, Coach Fujitani’s son, and also a first-year student at Sakuragi High School. Just as divers in the Tokyo suburbs flocked to Akebono Bay, many high school students who intended to dive were enrolled at Sakuragi High. It was the only high school to have their own diving pool right on the premises.

Even if the MDC closed down, Youichi-kun would be fine because he could still dive at Sakuragi High.

Pushing those jealous thoughts out of his head, Tomoki looked up at Youichi on the platform.

Top divers attracted people from the moment they stood on the platform. You could understand the meaning of that phrase when you watch Youichi. His toned body. His stock-still posture. His sharp gaze. You wanted to find out how he was going to perform, and how much was he imposing on himself. Just the height of his will stood upright and was transmitted acutely. (?) Finally, Youichi’s knees stretched like springs, launching his body high into the air.

A backwards 2½ somersault in pike position.

How does he dive like that? Tomoki’s thoughts, as always, succumbed to both excitement and despair. How does he pull off a move like that so perfectly, and make it look so easy?

Youichi’s dive was beautiful. There was not a single disruption along the line of his body as he flew in the air. He boasted a track record of being the middle school champion for three consecutive years, and now, even though he’s just a first-year in high school, he was already looked at as the most promising athlete at Inter-High, and whenever Tomoki watched his polished performances, the words “talent”, “pedigree” and “DNA” came into his mind.

He was a thoroughbred; Coach Fujitani was a former Olympic diver, and his mother was considered the Madonna of the diving world.

“My dad used to be a gymnast, but the highest level he got to was prefectural meets in high school. He’s a hack compared to Youichi-kun.” Ryou said next to him, probably thinking something similar.

“My parents used to brag that they were really athletic when they were younger, but the Fujitani family is on a completely different level from them.” Reiji chimed in from the other side.

“Both of my folks aren’t athletic, but they’re always asking me to do a lot.” Sachiya’s voice came from the other side.

“Sacchin?” Tomoki and the others all turned toward the owner of the voice at the same time.

“Hey, you. When did you get here?”

“A while ago.”

“Where?”

“Where I’m always at.”

“From the Moms’ Synchro class?”

Sachiya dropped his eyebrows and responded with a “Yeah” to the three’s stunned expressions.

“Today, another mom joined. She was completely new to this, so she was always a beat off from everyone else. Her breathing was still not good. It seemed like she was going to hold everyone else back a lot if this continued, and I’m worried that there will be fighting with the leader mom with the hook nose from now on.”

Sachiya was talking and smiling happily. He was a sixth-grader, one year younger than Tomoki and the others. Although he was in the MDC, he hated diving. Even the three-meter platform was too scary for him, and whenever he had a chance he’d always sneak away to watch the relationship dramas of the synchronized swimming class being conducted in the next subpool over.

“If you don’t get rid of that hobby of yours soon, you’ll be found out by the coach.”

Sachiya completely ignored Ryou’s advice.

“I found out something about Coach Fujitani.”

“Eh. What about him?”

“With that angry face, you’ll be able see it better if you’re on the ten-meter platform. Didn’t you see it?”

“I didn’t see it.”

“Me neither.”

“I didn’t see it, but…”

While saying that, the trio’s feet turned to face the ten-meter platform despite themselves.

Sachiya then recalled something, and said, “That’s right.”

“So, I got a message from Coach Fujitani. He had urgent business so he had to go back home. He said if you still want to practice, you can follow Coach Ooshima’s instructions for the time being.”

“Urgent business? I wonder what it is that made Coach Fujitani leave in the middle of practice.”

“Don’t know, but I saw him with a pretty lady.”

“Pretty lady?” The three of them looked all around, but saw no sign of a pretty lady.

“Coach Fujitani’s on a date with her.”

“A lady more important than us?”

“Hey, are you still on that?”

This scandal involving someone so familiar to them quickly overshadowed Youichi’s wonderful performance and the MDC’s crisis.

All four of them ran to the locker room, while looking around uneasily.

“There.”

They changed their clothes quickly while drying their wet hair. When the four of them got out of the locker room, Coach Fujitani was still in the lobby, in front of the reception desk. Sure enough, he was with a young woman. But it wasn’t just the two of them.

Next to Coach Fujitani—who was, as usual, wearing plain clothes and looked nothing like a former Olympic athlete—there was a middle-aged man dressed in a suit who looked very out of place at a public pool.

“Hey, maybe it’s a love triangle.”

“A complicated love-hate relationship?”

As they spied on them from the shadow of a pillar, Sachiya, who was behind them, made an “ah” sound as if he realized something.

“That guy, he works for Mizuki. He visited here before. He seemed to get bored of diving quickly, so he watched the Moms’ Synchro class with me,”

“What a terrible employee.”

Hearing that, the woman who stood talking to Coach Fujitani turned around.

From between long, loose, wavy hair, a pair of cat-like eyes glared at Tomoki. Those eyes look like they’d glow in the dark, Tomoki thought suddenly. Beautifully curved eyebrows. A straight nose. Thin lips. While every feature was well-balanced, it was only those bright eyes that threw everything off by standing out.

She must be in her mid-twenties. She was dressed in a gray pantsuit that was somewhat lustrous, and despite not being very tall, she was strangely intimidating. Tomoki couldn’t look away from her.

It was like he was being sized up. He couldn’t stop feeling on edge, and his throat went dry.

Indeed, she had been appraising him.

“Hey, what are you kids doing there?”

Coach Fujitani followed the woman’s gaze and noticed Tomoki and the others. He scowled at them, and the four of them dejectedly walked forward. “Are they your students?” asked the man in the suit, but he didn’t seem very interested.

“Ah, yes, they are, even though they are already in middle school they still act like little kids…”

“It appears that you don’t have much students above middle school, as usual.”

“No, no, I really do still have some, but when they become third years in middle school they’d have to take exams soon, so it really can’t be helped that they don’t show up sometimes. And it also can’t be helped for the girls, since if their friends weren’t coming then they won’t come either…”

Seeing Coach Fujitani smiling at and buttering up the man in the suit made Tomoki uncomfortable. He knew that if that guy was in a swimsuit instead of that stuffy suit, then Coach Fujitani would be way cooler than him. It really was annoying that most things in the world happened outside of the pool.

“After all, the parents don’t understand. No matter how much we concentrate our efforts, if the parents don’t cooperate, then this is exactly how it turns out…”

No one was listening to Coach Fujitani continuing his explanation. Sachiya, who was next to him, piped up innocently with a “Hey, hey, who’s that lady?”

“Hey, who are you pointing at? This is…” Coach Fujitani was about to introduce her, but she cut him off to do it herself.

“I’m Asaki Kayoko. I saw you all dive from the poolside earlier.”

Her cat-like eyes pierced through them, and even Reiji and Ryou, who were on both sides of Tomoki, turned to face him. It was very obvious that Kayoko was only looking at Tomoki.

“You, what’s your name?” Though her voice was low, it was a distinctive sound that resonated well.

Tomoki felt agitated, and answered nervously.

“Sakai Tomoki.”

“How long have you dived for?”

“Five years…and, a bit more.”

“What are the heights of your parents?”

“Eh?”

“How tall are your father and mother?”

“…Dad’s a hundred and sixty-eight centimeters. Mom’s about a hundred and fifty.”

“What kind of sports do both of them do?”

“Um, Dad plays baseball, soccer, ice hockey, water polo and judo. Mom did ballet until she hurt her ankle…”

“So, your body must be quite flexible? Say, have you ever been told you were double-jointed?”

“Double-jointed?”

“Something you’re born with. If someone’s double-jointed that means they are more flexible than most people. You must be. Also, your limbs are long, your shoulders are wider than your waist, and you have a small build. And what’s more…”

“Eh?”

“Oh well, it’s fine. I got it, somehow.”

After finishing her barrage of questions, Kayoko seemed to comprehend something on her own, and put on the coat that she carried on her arm. On the prompting of Coach Fujitani and the man in the suit, they walked briskly towards the exit.

“Hey.”

Tomoki suddenly called out to their backs.

“You, did you come here to destroy our club?”

It was the first time he ever addressed an older woman with “anta”(5). Even he was surprised he used it.

However, when Coach Fujitani was about to scold Tomoki for being rude, Kayoko held him back and replied to him calmly.

“I didn’t come here to destroy it. I came to protect it.”

Beneath the cloud-covered sky, the lights in the windows of the lined-up buildings seemed to make up artificial constellations, glowing from a distance and nearby. Whenever a car crossed the bridge, the fake constellations blurred in the river, becoming a second night sky.

The road after rush hour was smooth, and Ryou’s mom, who was driving the car that Tomoki and Ryou were riding in, was also in a good mood.

“It seems we’ll be able to arrive earlier. That really helped.” She murmured to no one in particular.

It looked like the reason for her good mood was because the practice ended earlier than usual today.

It was a one hour drive from Tatsumi to Setagaya. Since Tomoki and Ryou lived in the same ward, their mothers took turns picking them up and dropping them off. The Tatsumi Swimming Center was open to the public for about four days a week, so although they took turns, Tomoki thought that it must be difficult to take out the car each time. However, he didn’t think he’d have the energy to take the train to Tatsumi after school, practice for two hours, and then go home. Even on the days Tatsumi’s pool couldn’t be used, Tomoki was still assigned dryland training for basic physical strength building. Although he skipped it sometimes, if he did it properly, he’d never have to go there on holidays. Although, Coach Fujitani had said that diving was a sport that required a great amount of dedication.

Ryou was also tired, and he sat next to Tomoki quietly with his eyes shut. Ryou, who usually talked as loudly as possible, was silent only for tonight. Before Tomoki had entered the car, Ryou had said, “Isn’t it great? The pretty lady from Mizuki was pleased.” Tomoki remembered that his lips were twisted and how uneasy he sounded, and became dejected.

Thinking about that woman made him feel tense for some reason. He felt like something troublesome will start soon. He didn’t know whether he was looking forward to it or afraid of it. In an effort to calm himself down, he placed his hand on the car window, which was cold as ice from reflecting the night view of February, and his fingers, wrinkled from being in the pool, felt prickly. According to the mechanical voice of a woman from the radio, it might snow tomorrow.

Even when the car stopped in front of Tomoki’s house, Ryou didn’t open his eyes, which only seemed to prove that he was just faking being asleep, but he decided to play along and closed the door quietly.

“Wow, Tomo, you’re back early.”

While waiting for his mother to warm up the miso soup at the table, his younger brother Hiroya came down the stairs.

“Practice ended early today.”

“Oh, why?” Hearing Tomoki, his mother Megumi poked her face in from the kitchen.

“Don’t know. But because Mizuki’s employees came, they must be having a conference or something like that.”

“Must be serious, if Fujitani-sensei’s there too. Even though the only thing in his head is diving, now he’s also getting pulled into the company’s troubles.”

While saying those pitying words, Megumi brought over a bowl of miso soup with daikon and fried tofu.

Since he ate dinner before practice, no matter how hungry Tomoki was after he returns home, he was only going to get miso soup. Flab was a diver’s enemy. Even if only a little extra fat was gained, it’ll throw off his sense of rotation immediately.

“By the way, Miu called.” Hiroya told Tomoki, who had his chopsticks in the soup. It sounded like he had been finding the right time to say it. “She said she’ll call again, but if Tomo is feeling well then he’ll call her instead.”

“’Kay.”

“You should call her. She’s probably waiting for you.”

“’Kaaaaaay.”

Hiroya was his younger brother, but since he was born one year after him in March while Tomoki was born in April, they were in the same grade, even though they weren’t twins. They felt more like friends than brothers. It was a strange feeling for Tomoki, that Hiroya, who was his brother as well as one of his friends, and Miu, who was his girlfriend as well as his friend, were in the same class together.

“Well then, call her. Miu’s always waiting for you. It must be tough to go out with such a sports-nut.”

“Shut up, Hiro.”

“Anyways, if you guys do go out, it’d be better for you to be more like me than yourself. Miu’s pretty careless too.”

“Tell that to her.”

“I did.”

“What?”

Miu, what?

As soon as he tried to ask further, Hiroya grabbed the TV remote and turned away. Loud music boomed from the speakers, prompting Megumi to frown and tell him to turn it down. Megumi could distinguish between Tomoki and Hiroya just from the volume of the TV alone.

Tomoki finished his miso soup. Although he took the cordless phone in front of Hiroya and went upstairs to his room, he honestly didn’t feel like calling Miu.

There was only one reason. He had nothing to say to her.

“Tomo-kun, I’ve always liked you. If you want to, could I be your girlfriend?”

That was what Miu had said when she confessed to him last spring. It had taken place immediately following being sorted into classes at the beginning of middle school, when she had been separated into a different class, even though they were in the same class in sixth grade.

Before that, in mid-February he received chocolate from her, which got him teased by his friends that if he liked them then he should ask her to be his girlfriend. It had been the first time such corny words had been said to him, so Tomoki had been perplexed. He had just become a middle school student, so he still didn’t have a sense of reality for things like boy-girl relationships yet. Someday he’d also fall in love, and he’d snuggle with and kiss with his girlfriend, and he imagined he’d probably do even more with her. But since that would be far off into the future, he’d never considered the specifics of the process leading up to that. Like others, he also had desires, but for now he’s satisfied with just his dream.

Nevertheless, as to why he answered “Okay” to Miu’s confession without hesitating, Tomoki still had no idea.

Perhaps it was for a very cowardly reason. Maybe it was because he didn’t want the other girls to call him a bad guy for rejecting Miu (Poor Miu, Tomo-kun is awful!), or that he wanted to gloat over his friends who thought he was putting way too much into diving (What, Tomo got a girlfriend?), or maybe, he just really wanted a little bit of color in his life that was dedicated to diving (Even I can get a girlfriend or two…)

In truth, he started thinking about whether or not he could actually go out with Miu, right after they started dating. Even if you say dating, it was always Miu calling him and visiting his class during recess, her reminding him that they were in a special relationship.

Tomoki had no time. He was always busy with diving practice. He didn’t even know how to talk to girls, and first of all, he didn’t even know if he actually liked Miu that way.

He thought she was a cute girl. He certainly didn’t dislike her. But he never, not even once, felt like he wanted to see her right this moment, or that he wanted to hear her voice, or that he wanted to embrace her very much, or that he wanted to marry her, or that he wouldn’t allow her to ever cheat on him, or that he wanted three kids with her, or that he would protect her even if an earthquake happened.

He wondered if that was okay.

Despite his hesitation, he called Miu, not wanting to spend the rest of the night wondering when she would call him again.

“Hello?”

When Miu’s voice came after just one ring, Tomoki knew she had been waiting for him to call, and felt bummed out again.

“Tomo-kun?”

“Yeah. Um…sorry that I was late.”

“No, it’s fine. I’m happy. Tomo-kun, are you not tired from practice today?”

“Yeah, since practice ended early today.”

“Why?”

“Eh? Well…there’s a lot of reasons…”

“A lot.”

“Yeah.”

“Tomo-kun always has a lot of reasons, huh.”

“…”

“Ah, it’s fine, I’m sorry. I just wanted to hear Tomo-kun’s voice. Oh yeah, I went shopping with Hacchan today, and I found a really cute jellyfish doll, which looked like you somehow, so I bought it. Tomo-kun, would you like to see it?”

“Jellyfish doll…”

After going through many silences, by the time he hanged up five minutes later with a “Well, later”, Tomoki was tired enough to feel like he dived off the ten-meter platform a hundred times.

What do couples talk about so much, when they call each other everyday? Hiroya said I should flirt, but how the heck do I do that? I’m such an idiot, I can’t even do something like poking Miu’s forehead while laughing, Tomoki thought.

Even though it’s Miu, it wasn’t not easy to have fun with their phone calls.

While lying on his bed and thinking, self-hatred suddenly assailed him along with sleepiness.

I’m so boring, he thought. Everything about me is half-done. Even though I’m going out with Miu, I’m putting all my time and focus into diving, and even that was half-hearted in the end. If I put more effort into it seriously, I wouldn’t skip practice sometimes like I do now, and would have kept practicing even if Coach Fujitani wasn’t there. But I have no perseverance or enthusiasm for that. But, I can’t even imagine a life without diving, and if MDC is gone, I’d lose everything…and that scares me a lot.

A diving pool with a depth of five meters. Though it was always filled with a blue that was refreshing to the point of being artificial, as soon as he got out of the water the world stopped shining, and became a dull grey. In the midst of that grey, Tomoki felt as though he was living while having trouble breathing, like he needed to breathe with gills.

Losing the world of water would mean losing the freedom to breathe.

Thinking about the MDC’s future, Tomoki couldn’t help but be extremely anxious.

What were Coach Fujitani and the employees from Mizuki talking about today?

And then, there was that woman, Asaki Kayoko.

Tomoki instinctively felt that she was not an opponent to be taken lightly. She seemed like the type of person who would break promises, lie, and cheat on her lover without batting an eyelid.

However, there was the last line that Kayoko had left with—

“I didn’t come here to destroy it. I came to protect it.”

Strangely, he had only believed those words in the moment that he heard them.

Translation notes: 

(1): You probably all know what takeoff means, but I’m just going to give you guys a link to a diving glossary that helped me out a lot.

(2): The word used here is “相槌” which means interjections indicating one is paying attention (thanks jisho). Apparently the Japanese have a word for it but we don’t???

(3): I didn’t know what “永大” (Eidai) meant so I just assumed it was a shortened university name

(4): Technically 7.5 meters, but most people just call it the seven-meter platform

(5): Anta is a pretty rude “you” to use for someone you don’t even know, and is older than you. Funny enough Youichi uses it for Kayoko right off the bat and Tomoki uses it with her later in the story. She didn’t seem to mind it both times though

Next time on DIVE!!: The beginning of the end for Tomoki’s social life.

[news-mashable-yahoopartner-blog]

Boomer Phelps' Instagram is the best thing about social media these days

If social media usage ever becomes an Olympic sport — which is truly not that unthinkable at the rate we’re moving — there will be but one participant worthy of a gold medal: Boomer Phelps.

The one-year-old son of Olympic legend Michael Phelps and his wife, Nicole, first captured the hearts of America while cheering on his dad from the stands of the 2016 Rio Olympics in a massive pair of patriotic protective earmuffs.

Since then he’s learned to walk, mastered the art of eating solid foods, and amassed an impressive 785K followers on Instagram, bringing pure, undeniable joy to timelines across the world.

SEE ALSO: Say hello to your favorite 2032 Olympic swimmer, Boomer Phelps

In a troubling time where social platforms should come with “open at your own risk” warnings, Mashable needed to know more about Boomer Phelps — the sole beacon of light shining through the darkness of 2017 social media — so we did the only logical thing: called his mom. 

Nicole Phelps, 2010’s Miss California USA and mother of the best baby on Instagram, gave us an inside look at all things Boomer, sharing the story behind his account and revealing who runs it, along with her son's 2032 Olympic plans.

But most importantly, she confirmed what we already knew to be true: the kid is freaking adorable.

Here are a few of the many things we love about Boomer.

He’s a mini Michael Phelps

You know that saying, “Like 23-time Olympic gold medalist father, like son?” Welp, it’s true. Boomer is just as obsessed with water as his dad.

Pool time!!!

A post shared by boomer phelps (@boomerrphelps) on Jun 14, 2017 at 12:50pm PDT

Nicole says that for Boomer, it was love at first bath. "We learned at a very early age that was the best way to make Boomer relax, just to get him in the water,” she said. “It must run in the family. He loves the pool, he loves the bath, he loves taking showers — any way he can get into the water he’s happy.” 

Sure, Michael's retired but lucky for us Boomer is just beginning. 

He’s a star in the making

Think about it — how often do we get to see a potential future Olympian grow up right before our eyes? And though we don't know whether Boomer will follow in his father's footsteps yet, his mom isn't ruling out anything. 

"Honestly, you never know. Boomer definitely seems to have a passion for the water," she said. 

Thanks @taylorchien for making me look so good in my play day at the pool!!

A video posted by boomer phelps (@boomerrphelps) on Sep 2, 2016 at 12:38pm PDT

The couple claim they aren't pushing Olympic fame (really?), but Boomer seems pretty content splashing around.

Are they really just going to let this talent go to waste? "The most important thing that I think Debbie [Michael's mom] did for Michael was just allow him to do what he wanted to do, so if Boomer does decide that 2032 is his year and he’s gonna go for it then we’ll back him 100 percent," she said.

Still, Michael's coach Bob Bowman —who posts some precious pics of baby Phelps himself — says Boomer definitely "has the kick." And much like the rest of America, in Nicole's eyes, the only thing cooler than Boomer in the Olympics would be if Ryan Lochte's new baby boy, Caiden Zane, made the team, too.

"Oh my gosh, that would be so cute," she said, laughing about the dream 2032 teammates. "It would be awesome."

I found daddy's cap today and wanted to hop in the pool!

A post shared by boomer phelps (@boomerrphelps) on Apr 27, 2017 at 8:36am PDT

But if Boomer decides the athlete life isn't for him, that's fine. He already has another cool fallback ... drumming. "We actually have a drum for him and he’ll sit there just drumming away with the wrist movements and everything," Nicole said.

A drummer? Named Boomer? Does this get any better?

His appreciation of food could not be more relatable

Like all great Instagram personalities, Boomer isn't shy about sharing food pics. He adores cheese (same) and gets extremely psyched for meal time, according to mom. "He’ll sit in his high chair and he gets really excited and throws an arm up like he’s riding a bull," she said. "He rocks back and forth and just makes his entire high chair scoot across the floor."

All the cheese I want!!! #boomersworld

A post shared by boomer phelps (@boomerrphelps) on May 25, 2017 at 5:41pm PDT

Yummmy!!! Watermelon 🍉 and chicken for lunch today.

A post shared by boomer phelps (@boomerrphelps) on May 27, 2017 at 12:53pm PDT

He cherishes the weekend as much as the rest of us

Sure, Boomer’s account is a hub of positivity, but this baby is not immune to longing for the weekend. Being the very relatable baby he is, Boomer loves to lounge around and get down on Friday. You can tell by this very attractive photo of him waiting for the week to be over.

Is it the weekend yet?!?!?

A post shared by boomer phelps (@boomerrphelps) on Feb 22, 2017 at 7:40am PST

 Boomer Phelps is all of us.

He even makes sponsored #content ok ... ish

Boomer is already using his platform to endorse products, and surprisingly, we don't totally hate it. He's partnering with Huggies Little Swimmers to teach water safety to everyone who doesn't have the luxury of having a professional swimmer for a parent. So that basically means we're in for a whole bunch of adorable Instagram videos of him and his dad in the pool.

He keeps things light and breezy

Boomer clearly loves life and that's what makes his account so perfect. It's literally just a happy, innocent little baby having a blast — and with today's online political brawls and insult-slinging troll armies, that's pretty darn refreshing.

All smiles!!!

A post shared by boomer phelps (@boomerrphelps) on Apr 14, 2017 at 12:57pm PDT

Nicole explained that we see a lot of negativity on social media these days, so she and Michael are doing their best to teach Boomer to find beauty in everyday life. "I think that our biggest thing is that we want people to smile when they see Boomer, and if that is where they find their light on a daily basis then so be it," she said.

So who’s the voice of Boomer's Instagram?

It turns out Michael Phelps is running Instagram's best account.

"I’ll take all the pictures, send them to Michael, and then he talks for Boomer and posts," Nicole explained. "He asked me if I wanted the password once and I’m like, 'Nope. I want nothing to do with it, this is all you."

Just hanging with mom and dad.... dad and I are teaming up on mom in some rummy!! #wewon

A post shared by boomer phelps (@boomerrphelps) on May 20, 2017 at 6:45am PDT

Started from the bottom now Boomer's here

"It took on a life of its own that I don’t think either of us really expected," Nicole said about the account.

When Michael decided to do the first post as a way for family, friends, and fans to follow Boomer, he had nearly 2,000 followers. After the 2016 Olympic trials  he surpassed 100,000 followers and kept going, leaving his own mother and Olympic athletes in his wake. "We always joke that we’re going to take this account away from him when he's older and make him get his own followers." 

I can stand! Watch out... I'm going to be walking soon!

A post shared by boomer phelps (@boomerrphelps) on May 24, 2017 at 8:53pm PDT

But doesn't Nicole worry about thrusting her child into the spotlight? Apparently not.

Nicole said she and Michael knew they wanted to secure a handle for Boomer before he was born, simply because they didn't want somebody else to have the power to post under his name.

"We’ve gone back and forth whether or not it’s good or bad," she explained, but ultimately the couple likes knowing they're the ones posting shots of their son and can show fans that they're a normal family living a normal life.

So how does Boomer's following compare to his Instababy competition? Well, he's sadly not in the lead, but we know the kid's got potential. While other famous Instababies like Dream Kardashian (son of Rob Kardashian and Blac Chyna) have already hit one million followers before age one, everyone knows deep down that quality of posts is more important than follower quantity.

So there you have it folks, definitive proof that Boomer is everything you need in an Instagram idol.

WATCH: The USA swim team just did its own version of carpool karaoke and nailed it