#bacon grease? was I on cold medicine when I wrote this? lmao
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queeniecook · 2 years ago
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"I've Gotta Get Through This " - Part 2
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I invested in a used punching bag. My weight had always gone up and down since I hit puberty. I wasn’t worried about that so much, I was used to it. Didn’t bother me. But I did want to be somewhat healthy. Not one of those health nuts but not someone who drinks bacon grease. Somewhere in the middle.
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Yeah, I couldn’t be a health nut. Too many foods called to me.
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My little Cleo had calmed down after I spayed her and was no longer plotting revenge against me. I was thankful she found me in the snow that winter night months ago.
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As fall arrived, I decided to give playing a guitar a try. I wasn’t good at it, but I enjoyed it. I also enjoyed singing. In fact, I loved it.
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“It’s been a year since I moved to this town.” I said quietly to Cleo, who was purring and falling asleep in my arms.
Yes. It had been a year. A year since I had seen him. A year since I left my old town behind and started a new life. A lot had changed. Not just in my life, but I had changed a bit. I put more effort into my appearance. Granted, I kind of had to. But it was different for me. I was more guarded and closed off then I used to be. I wasn’t sure that was a good thing. My thoughts on my future included many things. Not just one person. I saw that as good.
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I got promoted to Meme Maker and to a B-Lister. I celebrated. By myself of course. I thought about inviting Paka’a out to celebrate with me, but decided not to. We had actually kept in touch via social media and texting. But hadn’t actually saw each other since that one day on the beach. I wasn’t worried about it though. I didn’t have any expectations of friendship with him. Or anyone else for that matter.
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I had the friend I needed. One that cuddled with me at night, sat by my side while I made videos and brought me mystery gifts from outside from time to time.
Thanksgiving came and it was a disaster.
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For some reason, everything in my house kept breaking. I thought I was being haunted. Someone at work said there’s these little gnomes that go around during Thanksgiving or as the town calls it “Harvestfest” and if they don’t like you, they make your life living hell that day. Guess I ticked one off or something.
I eventually gave up on even trying to cook. After I fixed and cleaned everything, Cleo and I had pizza for as our holiday meal.
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Well. Cleo had pizza and a bird. Ick. She thought she had to give me some of it’s feathers. Not cool, cat.
I  was still pretty stressed and went to bed that way….
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I dreamed of him. Sitting at my table. Eating Thanksgiving dinner.
I woke up after that. It was 3 in the morning. I had to get up and do something. I couldn’t just stay in bed after that.
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I went to the Living Room and watched some mindless TV. I needed mindless at that moment. I didn’t understand why my stupid brain had to dream of him from time to time. I hated it. I wanted him removed from my memories. The worse part was, it still hurt. It wasn’t quite as bad as when it first happened, but it still hurt. Which made me not sad, but angry. If he had been in front of me, I would have nailed him in the head with a skillet.
I finally calmed down and got sleepy enough to go back to bed.
I awoke the next morning with an idea. An idea that would allow me to focus on something new and time consuming.
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“We’re going to remodel our house, Cleo.”
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