#dare I say - cheapens it a little?

[mollywog]

.

[rootspiral]

Agatha All Along deep dive: episode 9 part 5

(Wandavision entries: [1][2][3])

(AAA entries: ep1 [1][2][3][4] ep2 [1][2][3][4] ep3 [1][2][3] ep4 [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][+1] ep5 [1][2][3][4][5] ep6 [1][2][3] ep7 [1][2][3][4][5][6] ep8 [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][8][9] ep9 [1][2][3][4][5][6])

question for you: it that only a reflection from set lights, or did agatha have tears in her eyes?

because, well, this is agatha. she's putting on a show, so you know that she's not as confident as she wants to appear. I imagine that suddenly turning into a ghost is not an easy adjustment. super interesting from a nerdy scholary prospective, but psychologically?? idk

billy, as usual, has to beg her to PLEASE BE SERIOUS FR

I toOK A calCULateD RiSK

whatever you say you big loser

then she demonstrates being a ghost by trying to slap billy. it's scientific and not ridiculous at all

at long last, and very, very late in the game she explains the nature of the Road to billy - and notice how she's still not able to be completely honest, despite all the previous moments they shared. the song means the world to her, but she's not ready to admit that yet.

the Road was very very very much real, and all the deaths that happened do count

I'll die on the hill that billy is a good person at heart. the tower, the potential for tragedy and destruction, is just that, a potential that the people in his life - the kaplans, eddie, the coven and yes, even agatha - are helping keep unfulfilled.

agatha shakes her head, gently, carefully. and we can see there has been some growth here: the first time billy supposedly killed someone she went on a whole speech about how Killing Makes You a Survivor Actually, a speech that was more about her than him. she's at least considering his feelings now

and btw agatha's "death" not being final like the others' doesn't cheapen the message at all. these are shows about dealing with / accepting mortality, and that is a journey agatha has just started. she (somehow, crying and screaming and flying by the seat of her pants) cheated death and will get herself a new body, and that's just one step forward and two steps back on her way to learn to finally stop running.

remember when nicky was upset about killing witches and agatha avoided the subject by singing a song to him, because she didn't know how to relieve a child of the guilt that was hers and only hers? she is trying now. she sees how this is devastating billy and she (badly) tries to absolve him. she is the one who lured the coven into a trap, who didn't disclose the nature of the Road, who very much killed alice.

and mark my words: she knows who sharon is, she absolutely remembers her name. I think she feels the most guilty about killing sharon, because with alice it was kind of an accident, but she went out of her way to doom this poor little lady, and she's been distancing herself from her with callous jokes since the beginning.

look at her face. this is Empathy. I've talked a lot about how for agatha it's easier to feel empathy for people with similar stories and backgrounds to hers. she felt it for wanda and ran from it. billy has the added quality of being perfect son material (I'll get to that in a minute) and right now? she knows what he's going through. she was once a girl born with the power to kill people, a power she didn't know how to stop, and it ruined her life and doomed everyone who crossed her path.

and she's still trying to have her cake and eat it too! consoling billy while still keeping her "whatever I don't care anyway" fake vibes. I'd say that she's matured a little, sure! from toddler to at least first grader. she even dares to roll her eyes when mentioning jen, this actual piece of ghostly turd.

please please please let jen come back in a marvel property that doesn't suck / hopefully written by jac and her team. please please please let us see what she does next

"should I go check on how agatha and billy are doing? nope screw them bye bye losers omw to rebuild my empire!" *nyoooooom*

(I don't know what I'd like to see more, jen becoming a force for good right away or still on the road to recovery, clashing heads with agatha.)

agatha takes a deep breath (can ghosts actually breathe tho) and gives billy a speech reminiscent of what she told nicky all those years ago. if you want to survive, get used to this feeling. we are supposed to read this interaction with the added context of her relationship with her own son (hence the callback). so why does agatha gives billy the nicky treatment now?

I think billy is all that agatha hoped and wanted nicky to be - a partner in crime who can keep up with her intelligence and sense of humor, a powerful witch she can pass her knowledge to, and a son who will love her and stick by her side no matter what. billy is the whole package, from the very beginning she couldn't see him as just the carrier of the very power she needed to bring nicky back; another hunger took over, the hunger to claim him and raise him as her own.

which brings us to the crucial question: why does agatha want a son? why did she have nicky in the first place? the answer, in true agatha fashion, is selfish, flawed, tragic, human. she wanted to fix her own childhood. she wanted to raise a version of herself who had all the love and support of a mother. and so she made sure that nicky had what she never had, including books and lessons to learn magic from. she tried to make him immune to life's heartbreaks - get used to this feeling, like she never could (because she never managed to make her own heart impervious, she only hid it away and tried to ignore it.) she essentially imagined her child as a a mini-me who committed all the same atrocities with no guilt or remorse and the added bonus of a mother cheerleading them on. another cheat sheet, a way to fix herself without actually working on her issues.

except nicky wasn't exactly what she had expected. he didn't like killing witches. instead of a talent for magic, he showed a talent for music and, credit where credit's due, agatha encouraged and nurtured it. when nicky died, agatha was on her way to accept that he was his own wonderful person and that being a parent is an exercise in selflessness. despite all her mistakes, she did one fundamental thing right: she loved nicky so freaking much, and was genuinely loved in return. who knows what could have happened if they were allowed to continue on that path.

billy is also very much his own person (not to mention almost and adult) so he simply won't let agatha project her issues all over him. (agatha is like, "challenge accepted.")

her love for billy is not in question, but now she has to be selfless and admit he doesn't exactly need mentoring in serial killing. what did billy need from the Road after all? it wasn't power. it was a sense of identity, a community, help in finding himself and his brother. agatha knows this perfectly, she's just *gestures in her general direction* like that.

go to episode 9 part 6

[starry-bi-sky]

I'm slowly becoming obsessed with the childhood friends au and it's mostly bc of something you said in the tags of an ask lol. you mentioned that they weren't soulmates they were something better. that they were two balls of yarn they batted around until they were intertwined, that they chose and continue to choose to be as close as two souls can be.

it's so poetic, the idea that fate has nothing to do with it. they looked at each other and said this is it, that's the one. It makes me think of so many different quotes but here's just a few. Hozier "lay me gently in the cold dark earth, no grave can hold my body I'll crawl home to her (him)" or like patroclus saying that if Achilles were to die that "all things soft and beautiful would be buried with him" and poor Danny grieving so long and so hard because "what is grief if not love perserving?" when you're in love with someone, that person is the lighthouse of your universe and to lose them is to be thrown to a tempestuous sea.

and thinking of their reunion makes me feel a little crazy too cause I see what you've been plotting and it just makes me think of how their relationship is going to be at first. like here's a person that you love so deeply and it's been so long since you've seen them and you've both changed since. will they click back together seemingly effortlessly? attached at the hip for a bit because they're both/or one is scared of being separated again? or will there be some friction for a while while they try to realign their pieces to fit together, to figure out what's different and what's practically the same? "you are a language I am no longer fluent in but still remember how to read"

sorry for rambling, I love them your honor.

🫵 DONT YOU DARE APOLOGIZE FOR RAMBLING I LOVE GETTING RAMBLING ASKS. AND SAME.

There was this one sound on tiktok that I heard that reminded me of them, and I just went and found it, and it goes: "I would recognize you in another lifetime entirely in different bodies, different times, and i would love you in all of this. Until the very last star in the sky burnt out into oblivion." and the first time i heard it i literally thought "this is CFAU Danny and Jason"

AND YEAH THEY JUST. I love devoted characters, i love when characters are so deeply devoted and loyal to each other its like you can't imagine them being anywhere else but at each other's side. That wasn't wholly my intent when I first came up with CFAU last fall, but god I am not complaining about how it turned out. My favorite part of the chapter 1 rewrite is making sure Danny's devotion to Jason was reciprocal.

god those quotes. they're so accurate too. yeah. i thought about this au once in the context of a soulmate au, and just couldn't get behind it. It made their whole dynamic felt cheapened, like of course they're soulmates; it was destined. When no, it wasn't. They made it that way.

(If the two of them were somehow transported to a universe with soulmate marks, they would not have matching symbols. That's okay, Danny and Jason don't need them to be. They'd pick up a tattoo gun or a pen and make their own. They wouldn't call it a soulmate mark, just a them mark.)

("Why should I share my soul with some schmuck I don't know? I want to share my soul with you.")

yeah. their reunion is. ! about as exactly as intense as it needs to be :]. They've both changed so much, and they're both scared of being separated again. Jason purposely stayed away from Amity because he knew he couldn't keep away if he didn't. Being back together again is like having a piece of them returned.

SPEAKING OF QUOTES. Here's one:

I don't believe in the death that you're bringing The reason I'm living is you Wherever you go That's where I'll be Even if death tags along, I don't mind It's still you and me I'll never leave you alone

"Death's At My Door" - The Outsiders Musical

[lifes-pinata]

Duck and Mytho, A Relationship Analysis

BY POPULAR DEMAND (10 notes and 1 prompt by a blog I follow and admire)

Duck and Mytho are obviously so very important to each others stories. Without Duck, Mytho would have remained a heartless doll forever. And without Mytho, Duck would have remained a simple bird. The story cannot exist without Duck, and up until the last few episodes, Mytho remains her primary motivation.

Which is why is was so surprising to me that the way their relationship resolved was so..... Unsatisfying.

Now when I say that, I am not talking about Siegfried and Tutu's resolution, which remains one of the most touching scenes of the show. I am specifically talking about the relationship between Mytho and Duck.

For the first 14 episodes, Duck and Mytho's friendship was a slow but steady burn. Duck is an anomaly in Mytho's small world. Even heartless, he doesn't quite know what to make of her. "Fakir and Rue don't say things like that" he says in episode 3, when Duck reacts to his hurt hand.

Duck, as a person, represents something Mytho never encountered even when he was Siegfried. Her simple, straightforward kindness is so different from Rue's desperate, grasping love. Fakir's poisonous protection, and even the blushing, tittering classmates that never dare to speak to him.

And even though Mytho can't express it, I think it's really valuable to him. Early on, Duck is the only person capable of making his loneliness disappear. Not Rue or Fakir, who he's known for years (which he says to their faces oh my GOD) but Duck. The first request he makes is that she stays a little longer.

The entire first arc Duck continually proves herself to be trustworthy. Once Mytho returned to school after receiving the feeling of fear, Duck tackle hugs him, saying she looked for him everywhere. She knows about Princess Tutu, and is the only one who listens to him. Who doesn't talk over him. She brought him an umbrella when he was waiting for Tutu. He values her opinion enough that he asked her opinion on gifts to get someone. And yeah maybe he could have asked anyone, but we never see him seek someone out until the Raven's Blood kicks in.

In episode 14, Mytho says to Duck, straight out "You're the only friend whom I can tell everything." And then? They never interact again? Huh???

Well. That's not entirely true. There is one more scene where Duck and Mytho interact, if you believe that Mytho was lucid enough to truly count it. Episode 24, where Mytho has fully succumbed to the Raven's blood, and as a result has turned into a raven himself. He runs outside, after being hidden away by Rue, and finds Duck. And what does he do? He asks her to dance, just as he did on the day of the fire festival. But this time, Duck doesn't answer. She backs away from the monster he's become, just like everyone else.

To its credit, that is a resolution, but it still doesn't sit right with me. It feels too bleak in a story where hope overcomes everything else. A spot where Drosselmeyer's tragedy wins.

The thing is, I understand why they did it this way. One thing I have always appreciated about Princess Tutu is that there is no wasted time. Even at the beginning of the show, when it seemed lighter and sillier, every episode contained important information. From the very beginning, they were building to the finale.

The second arc of the show is even more this way, there is no wasted space. Where would they even put Duck and Mytho interactions? Duck is reckless but she knows better then to approach Mytho when he's actively trying to rip out the hearts of their classmates. If anything, trying to shoehorn interactions would come across as forced, and could even cheapen their interactions in the finale.

But as much as I love the scene where Mytho realizes that Princess Tutu was a duck. I also wish he had a moment to realize that the duck was Duck.

Because Princess Tutu performed magic and returned heart shards with her beautiful dancing.

But Duck did the hard work of being human. Of living and loving and trying and failing and getting back up.

It was Duck who saved the town in the end.

And it was Duck, who was ultimately forgotten.

[staycalmandhugaclone]

I Missed You, Too

This is almost entirely @drafthorsemath's fault. We were talking about Crosshair and got sad... so I needed write a little something and figured I'd kill two birds with one stone for the Clone x Reader Bingo prompt: Bed. (It's not spicy - I just wanted a tiny snip of fluff)

In my head, this is a Doc/Crosshair future scene, but it can be read as gender neutral and totally apart from the Doc Series.

Warnings: Crosshair being Crosshair, but he's really a softy. Snuggling in bed. Probably one of the least Warning-heavy things I've written

Words: 660

I knew he’d be there, sprawled out on my cot as if it were the most natural thing in the world, feigning pure ignorance to the way seeing him like that made my heart jump as wisps of glee sparked through my stomach. I knew he’d allude to some annoyance that I’d intruded while he was so near to sleep, all the while fighting the faintest hint of a smile as he reached for me, and I knew that he wouldn’t dare let himself actually begin to drift off until he held me firmly in his arms, but there will always be some profound disconnect in consciously anticipating these things, in imaging the façade of a scowl ruined by the love he couldn’t quite keep from those golden eyes, in remembering the feel of his hands and the warmth of his touch, the strength of his embrace surrounding me and the steady beat of his heart thudding softly against my cheek, with actually living through those breath-taking moments.

His arm already lay draped dramatically over his eyes as the door hissed open, flooding the room with an unforgiving light, and I couldn’t stifle the tiny chuckle that caught in my throat at his grumble.

“I was beginning to wonder if you were ever going to show up.” Crosshair drawled with a careful boredom that I couldn’t help but roll my eyes at as I walked past him to set my supplies down on the counter to be dealt with later.

“Keep giving me that attitude and maybe I’ll find somewhere else to sleep tonight.” I retorted, but before I could take more than a few steps back toward the door, his arms latched about my waist, wrenching a bark of laughter from me as he hauled me toward him, something torn between a growl and a grunt rumbling from his chest.

“Alright, alright! Scoot over!” I yielded, joy singing through my voice. He refused to release me as he shifted slightly, guiding me down until I lay nestled atop his chest, body thrilling in the want fueling his hold, in the flutter of his breath through my hair as he lightly touched his lips to my brow.

“I missed you, too.” I whispered, and it was so nearly teasing were it not for the depth of some unspoken promise veiled within those words. I’ve missed you just as desperately as you’ve missed me. I understand all the secret murmurs you can’t bring yourself to say through any means other than hidden touches and the covetous strength of your embrace. I couldn’t think and not wonder about you, if you were safe, if you were happy, if you were thinking about me, too. I couldn’t breathe without searching for the scent of you upon the air, and not a moment passed in which I didn’t long to return to you.

Trying to put the entirety of those thoughts into words would only work to cheapen the violence of emotion fueling them, and so we said nothing more as a relief more profound than the first rays of sun after an unending winter storm settled quietly about the room. I felt the deep breath slowly leave him, taking with it all of the tension and fear and worry that weighed upon every second we were apart, and found my own breath mimicking his in that same release.

I’d known he’d be here, laying atop my bed in the perfect allusion to an effortless sleep we both knew he’d been robbed of since I’d left. I’d known he’d play the role of aloof impatience all the while restraining himself from giving in to the need to feel me against him until the last minute. And I knew his lips now pulled into a gentle smile that he’d never reveal to anyone but me as we finally allowed ourselves to rest, eager for the comfort of the coming night safe in each other’s arms.

Taglist: @arctrooper69 @ct-0113 @padawancat97 @eclec-tech @kixs-husband @atomickidsoul @jennrosefx @echos-girlfriend @starqueensthings @burningfieldof-clover @manofworm @merkitty49 @idoubleswearimawriter @abigfanofstarwars @chopper-base @daftdarling222 @pb-jellybeans @skellymom @bacta-the-future @rosechi @legalpadawan @pantagasm @ew-wtaf @solstraalaa @drummergirl1701 @shersten-the-gold @shewhoneveryields @6oceansofmoons @get-wr3ckered @dangraccoon @ji5hine @dathomiri-mudpuppy @mooncommlink @isthereanechoinhere96

Click here or message me if you'd like to be added to a taglist!

Click here for my Masterlist.

[rookie-critic]

Rookie-Critic's Top 25 Films of 2022: #1: Everything, Everywhere, All at Once (dir. Daniel Kwan & Daniel Scheinert, a.k.a. Daniels)

We now arrive at the finish line of the Top 25 Films of 2022. I mean, could it have really been anything else?

There was no reality, no multiverse, in which my #1 pick for 2022 was going to be anything other than this sweeping, zany, beautiful masterpiece of comedically bizarre, but oddly dramatic storytelling. I actually have a really fun history with this film from before it was ever even officially announced. Back in September of 2021, I was newly single out of a 6-year relationship and had started going to a ton of films as a way of spending this massive influx of free time I had just come into. A lot of which, at the time, were free preview screenings of things that were about to come out (generally, my idea of it is they are press screenings that they open up to the public in order to fill the extra seats and word-of-mouth buzz). However, one day I get an email from one of the mailing lists I'm subscribed to asking if I'd like to come to a screening of a new film that hasn't been announced yet. After looking into the details further, it would be a sci-fi film starring Michelle Yeoh and directed by Daniels, and I would have to take a survey before and after the film, as well as sign an NDA and agree to not speak to anyone about it until the time when the film was officially announced and a release date was set. Those were literally the only three pieces of information I was given on the film. I was a fan of the Daniels' previous film, Swiss Army Man, and I generally like Michelle Yeoh, so I decided to give it a go. Why not? I like sci-fi, at worst I will have watched a bad film for free, oh no. So I reserved my spot, signed that NDA, and went to theater the following day for my screening. The movie, as you probably guessed, was Everything, Everywhere, All at Once, and let me tell you I hated that NDA with such a passion those next three months. I discussed in a very limited capacity with those in my immediate circle of family (I believe all I told my little brother that there was a scene where the characters turn into rocks and talk to each other through subtitles and that scene had made me cry), but really I just had to sit on the knowledge of this until it was officially announced in December 2021. I went and saw it opening weekend and remember thinking it was even better than I remembered it being in the test screening.

As far as a review, what is there really to say? The acting is superb across the board, especially from our central three cast members: Michelle Yeoh, Ke Huy Quan, and Stephanie Hsu (in my opinion, as much as I love Jamie Lee Curtis, Hsu should have won the Supporting Actress Oscar). The effects and editing are out of this world (universe? multiverse?). The humor never misses and never cheapens a more heartfelt or tender moment between characters. In fact, most of the time the drama and the comedy of everything is weaved in so naturally in a way that's hard to even describe. The entire movie almost defies genre or categorization and refuses to be pinned down into any one box. Ultimately, though, what I think really sets this film apart from everything else that came out in 2022 is that, behind the zany, at times unbelievably off-the-wall beats and gags, is an incredibly small story of a family and their struggles, both with the world and with each other. It's a film that analyzes what it means to be a mother, a father, a husband, a wife, a daughter, a granddaughter. It's a very uniquely Asian story with an Asian identity at its core, but there are things in the film, especially in the way it analyzes the cyclical dynamic of a dysfunctional family, that can ring true for anyone. It's a film that dares you to dream big, but also a film that asks you, gently, to not take the little things for granted. It's a film that asks you to be kind, and that it's ok to give people space when they need it, but even with that in mind, asks you to never give up on those you love. Most of all, this film asks you to love, to give love and accept love in all its forms, because anywhere will be home, anywhere will be enough, if you're surrounded with those that you love. Not only is this my #1 pick for 2022, this is also just, in general, one of my favorite films of all time.

Currently streaming on Showtime.

You can read my original review of Everything, Everywhere, All at Once here.

[winterfromtevinter]

"Don't believe everything Bellara tells you. Much of it is greatly exaggerated, and she always seems to have read the worst ones. I don't indulge her on the details because it might ruin her fun." Her reputation has almost taken on that of serial character herself. Scandal sells, as does daring. Keeping up with the papers is a good way to have a handle on the pulse of public favor. As much as she's applauded she is in equal measure considered a public menace. A vigilante overstepping her means as a Laetan of little financial importance. The worst of them mention her father.

She's only ever called Ennius Gallus' daughter as an insult. He'd hate it, if he was still alive.

Neve studies the Crow as he speaks. She's aware of what they are and the purpose they serve. It is easy to become lost in a rather romantic view of Antiva. The sensual, sticky heat of the city. Treviso's canals the sapphire crowning jewel. A secret lover's kiss dared in the shadow of the cramped buildings. Wine meant to be savored, indulged. An exchange of coin and a contract accepted. The slick slide of poisoned steel between the fourth and fifth ribs.

No. Neve corrects her musings. The lustrous showmanship of silverite, not steel. A magnificent weapon for an ugly crime. The shining silver-blue dagger would whisper deadly-fast through the air before his target even knew it. Lucanis comes from money stained crimson. She wonders if he is proud of being his grandmother's favorite.

He certainly is not gloating as he speaks. His face is drawn, his mouth downturned. Pensive, reflective. Acceptance of fact, or genuine remorse? He takes little pleasure in the statement: ' We have killed as many revolutionaries as we have tyrants. ' Either way how he feels about it matters little. Dead is dead, the deed done. That's why they hired him.

That is to say, this is hardly new information to Neve. She lets it sit between them. "Those in power like to stay there. They'll do pretty much anything to keep that," she comments. For her, this is fact, worn and true. She has seen it all her life. Threatening what the powerful hold most dear ⸻ their dominion ⸻ is one of the most dangerous things you can do in a place like Minrathous. Neve imagines the same holds true for Treviso.

Another sip of her coffee, warm on her tongue. She won't cheapen the experience by drinking it too quickly. Finally, her eyes are dragged away from her study of the assassin. The cup is fine craftsmanship, porcelain beautifully wrought and brightly colored. "You want to go to Minrathous? Don't expect anything pretty," she warns. There's beauty to be found in Dock Town, but she knows that not everyone loves it as dearly as she does. She thinks of the fine things Lucanis must be used to with his blood-money luxury. The fine cup is turned accusatory in her ink-stained hands. "The side of town I know isn't glamorous. Nothing's gilded gold, and most of it smells like fish. You'll get your boots dirty, too." All this said with a measure of fondness.

She'll admit that the thought of returning home for a moment sounds nice.

"You have a deal if you agree to show me around Treviso. Contract, bargain, agreement. Whatever term you prefer.Especially if you buy more of these coffee beans."

Rooftops, each of those high, nigh-inaccessible places, preserves a certain magic during the late, quiet hours of solitude. Between and during contracts; unique in their horizons as they carry along an unwritten history only witnessed by the sky, the endless dawn and dusk. For a spell, he considers Minrathos from Neve's meddlesome perspective as she walked those familiar streets, staring up at the Archon's Palace with a challenging glint instead of looking down on the people. How might a city's heart change when it holds the title of home rather than a mere layover between missions, a cesspit of corruption and petty cruelty.

No doubt she views Treviso in a similar vein. Murderers and despots tend to be cut from the same cloth, no matter their origin. The markets of Antiva are, after all, no less inundated with the blood of slaves than of Tevinter's sun-soaked pavements.

"To be cautious is a natural state for most people who favor living, I've found. The ones who are daring, on the other hand, are worth some praise. You've a talent for walking the line between those traits with your... impressive record." Impulsive with a bleeding heart, ever prepared to throw herself into danger for the sake of others despite a careful, rational mind. An easy enough weakness to exploit; yet another detail filed away in his mind along with the myriad others. Poor diet, lack of sleep. The difficulties of navigating the world with a prosthetic — and most of all, that odd ribbon of trust she presents despite her apparent cynicism.

Salt-water memories. Tang of copper. The rotting wooden planks groaning under the weight of a city. She's perfumed by the scent of blood, always there in the aftermath to clean up, pay respects, and deliver some semblance of peace to those grieving.

TEMPTATION. SHE'S THOUGHT OF IT, TOO.

And it would be tempting, wouldn't it? To solve all of the world's problem with the antecedents of history; a flick of the hand to channel all the spilled blood in her homeland toward a fairer tomorrow. But she chooses to do it the hard way, teeth grit and limbs aching. Whether that's admirable or meaningless remains to be seen.

Lucanis watches her from his periphery, and feels a touch grateful as she drinks the coffee, every ounce of her humming appreciative. It's a small gesture, but he tucks it in somewhere private all the same alongside the personal histories. "Your goals to a better future are admirable. I cannot say the same for mine with full honesty... Crows serve to preserve the existing state of affairs. We have killed as many revolutionaries as we have tyrants." A low sound, reminiscent of laughter echoes in his larynx. A lavender-tinted noise, harsh and malicious. "I've no illusion my work in Vyrantium served as little else but warning to everyone else who dreams of stepping outside their status in society." Or perhaps he's the worse cynic, now.

"Further, indeed. Though I've never been anywhere without the pretense of business." Never to know any place beyond the boundaries of a contract, the kill, and the crime scene. Still... "The next time we're free, could I accompany you? To know a city as you do would be enlightening."

[one-sadistic-bitch]

The Murkoff Account comics (and Outlast 2 by extension) have absolutely no relevance to the original story of Outlast

and here’s why:

Content Warning

I am, of course, mainly going to discuss Trager’s storyline here, but it does also raise questions about the overall structure and timeline of Outlast as well.

My issue begins here

There’s a lot of information packed into this little paragraph.

First, it acknowledges that Trager has been apparently having “blood dreams.” In a different document, we are given information that suggests these dreams are Rick experiencing “Psychopathological Proximity Stress Disorder (PPSD).”

It’s my belief that this is referring to proximity to the morphogenic engine and/or it’s patients, rather than patients in general, since the psychosomatic pregnancies prove that the engine can affect people by proximity alone.

Secondly, Billy incriminates Trager by suggesting that the “blood dreams” are were he learned classified information. (This also explains that the morphogenic engine can connect people’s minds which is SUPER cool)

Thirdly, the last sentence expresses Murkoff’s newfound distrust for Rick. “(Note: the only Trager on company records, one Richard Trager, is an executive from M.R.D.) All orderlies and security personnel must be questioned and video security improved to include analytical biometrics.”

We all know what happens when you fuck with Murkoff secrets, cue the Trager email:

I may be biased, but to me, this all obviously points to Rick being admitted to Mount Massive because Murkoff knew that he either leaked information to Billy or was experiencing the engine’s negative effects, making him a liability either way. Murkoff’s no tolerance style would prove even more callous, tossing their own “brass” executive into the engine to protect their secrets.

That is simply the back story that was laid out for us, what comes next is the inconsistencies, the good part. I could go on for days about how Rick and Jeremy in the comics are NOTHING like Rick and Jeremy on the games as far as characters go, but I digress. Let’s talk about the obvious one:

This email proves that Rick and Jeremy (as well as Murkoff as a whole) were aware of the psychosomatic pregnancies before the events of the game (2010 and after). This starkly opposes the comics, which depict the company becoming aware of these pregnancies in 2012. This also implies that both Rick and Jeremy hadn’t been working at the Mount Massive location for very long, a maximum of 3 years, probably less. This means the “blood dreams” would have been new for Trager as he was only recently exposed to the morphogenic engine.

Yet again, in a separate document, a lawsuit over termination of female employees in 2010 is described:

Here it is, clear as day, “Female employees were

moved to higher floors in the facility, then to

other buildings, and eventually entirely off of

the Mount Massive facility.” IN 2010!!!

At the time of Trager’s depictions in The Murkoff Account, Murkoff should have been WELL aware of the psychosomatic pregnancies and all female employees should have been OUT of the Mount Massive facility. The events, at the very least for Trager’s chapter, in the comics should not have even been possible in the Outlast universe.

The events of the comics as a whole, dare I say, are not where the story of Outlast was originally intended to go, the foreshadowing makes that clear. This story could have been deep and emotional, and showed a real reason for Rick to seek revenge against the other Murkoff executives, but it was twisted and cheapened somewhere along the line.

The morphogenic engine was supposed to draw out and magnify the darker parts of Rick’s personality (AKA his unexplored medical curiosities), manifesting as dreams where he likely experimented on patients and other employees in a very gruesome way. It would have been so investing to see his decent into madness and watch how the dynamic between he and Jeremy changed along the way, until he was ultimately admitted, in an actual cruel and unjust way. Betrayed by the company that he was committed to. (I explore some of this in my fic ;))

This one of many examples, but this is who Trager is supposed to be! As Redbarrels has said before, he’s witty, cunning, and calculated. He might talk like a business school douchebag, but he is far from stupid or impulsive.

Now don’t get me wrong, I LOVE the way The Black Frog designed pre-engine Rick’s appearance

It’s fitting and charming, yet it still subverts your expectations, showing just how much Mount Massive and the engine really fucked him up.

But the story writing? Garbage. Inconsistent. Tasteless.

In short, what Outlast has become is not what Outlast was supposed to be or what it should have been.

Personally, I really believe the story was altered in an effort to make it as shocking and appalling as possible; I understand that this is an Outlast “thing,” but I also believe that the shock and disgust factor shouldn’t be the only thing you have. It has to WORK and lately I feel that it hasn’t been working in Outlast. After a certain point (lord they’re gonna tear me apart for this one) sole reliance on shock factor just starts to feel lazy. I want a horror game to be suspenseful and terrifying, not to repeatedly make me ask, “Wow, they really put THAT in the game???” Keep in mind that I LOVE Outlast and Redbarrels, this is just what I feel has happened to the series personally. I would have loved to see it unfold with more depth, but hey, it’s not my story to write.

I understand that some people like the retconned story better and that’s FINE. Not everything is made to be enjoyed by everyone and just because I don’t like something, doesn’t mean that you can’t. I just personally feel like I’m not much of an Outlast fan anymore, I’m just a fan of some characters they created.

That’s is why I don’t even pay mind to the comics. Thanks for the cool character design, I’ll be leaving now.

If you want me to discuss my opinions on how clumsily serious topics such as date r*pe we’re handled in the comics (happens a lot in Outlast actually), let me know. I didn’t want to include that here because I feel like it requires a better warning and I don’t want to do it if people don’t want it.

[robininthelabyrinth]

I love your Nie brothers content, all of it, but there is so little written about the friendship between Nie Huaisang and Wei Wuxian! We know they were friends in Cloud Recesses, but it's never explored how these genius guys, even if one is focused on magical inovations and the other on strategy and politics, got on. Something which shows how well they got each other would be great

1

Wei Wuxian’s fist trembled. How dare he – worthless peacock – my shijie..!

But before he could throw a punch, he saw a swirl of white – Lan Wangji, sweeping forward with a face like a graveyard, and Nie Huaisang cringing in his shadow – and suddenly he realized that he didn’t need to punch Jin Zixuan.

Speaking of others behind their backs is forbidden.

Sneering without reason is forbidden.

Arrogance is forbidden.

Do not be haughty and complacent.

Do not praise yourself and slander others.

Do not make assumptions about others.

Do not insult people.

Do not take your words lightly.

Wei Wuxian grinned with teeth. “Hey, Lan Zhan!” he sang out, and Jin Zixuan blanched. “Perfect timing!”

Later, after he’d laughed himself sick at Jin Zixuan’s punishment – humiliatingly perfect – and making his appreciation very clear to Lan Wangji, he went to go find Nie Huaisang.

“When did you go get Lan Zhan?” he asked, honestly curious. He hadn’t known he was going to get into a fight until he was there and it was happening, but Nie Huaisang, of all people, had apparently figured out what was going to happen before it happened and took steps to fix it.

“The second they started talking about girls,” Nie Huaisang said promptly. “It’s fairly obvious that Jin Zixuan is resentful of his parents managing his life and he’s lashing out at everything, including specifically your shijie, so a nasty comment was inevitable.”

Wei Wuxian blinked, derailed from his original line of questioning. “He – what? Wait, that’s why he’s so rude about my shijie?”

“Of course,” Nie Huaisang said, blinking back at him. “What did you think? That he just didn’t like her? He’s barely even met her.”

Wei Wuxian hadn’t thought about that way, but it made a certain amount of sense. “When did you get so good at reading people?” he asked, bemused. “I didn’t…uh…”

“Think I have any skills?”

Wei Wuxian coughed.

“I don’t!” Nie Huaisang beamed, clearly very proud of it. “But I do have a lot of expensive hobbies, and that means I need pocket money.”

Wei Wuxian wasn’t sure he understood the connection, and said as much.

Nie Huaisang laughed at him. “The Nie sect believes in self-sufficiency,” he explained. “My brother gives me a certain amount of money to spend, sure, but we’re not the Jin sect; I can’t just buy everything that I lay my eyes on and send the bill back home – my brother would break my legs! I’m expected to find a way to increase the money I get until it’s enough to cover both my needs and wants, necessities and luxuries both, and if I can’t, then I have to do without luxuries.”

Nie Huaisang has never, not once, in the entire few months Wei Wuxian spent in his company, done without luxuries.

“So,” Wei Wuxian said, feeling oddly unnerved and unsure why, “you learned how to read people because you want to act like…a merchant?”

Nie Huaisang lightly tapped his head with his fan, rolling his eyes at him. “Stop being such a landed gentry young master, Wei-xiong. There’s nothing wrong with trade! How much of your sect’s money comes from merchants interested in keeping their trade routes free of resentful energy?”

Wei Wuxian wrinkled his nose a little. “That’s cheapening it a bit, don’t you think? As cultivators, it’s our duty to stand up as heroes, to defend the innocent and defeat evil, to purify –”

“Right, right. Remind me again how the Jiang sect pays for all that pretty purple?”

“Well…I mean…”

Technically, yes, there were all the dye sellers and the fabric merchants, but…

Nie Huaisang was laughing at him.

“Don’t worry about it, Wei-xiong,” he said, wiping his eyes. “You stick to doing your own thing. If you ever need to sell anything, come to me.”

“Of course,” Wei Wuxian said, privately thinking to himself that he’d rather farm for crops than become a seller hawking his goods in the marketplace. “Hey, wait, what is it that you sell, anyway?”

Nie Huaisang sniggered and refused to tell him.

2

It was porn.

Also barbeque and liquor, although in that case Nie Huaisang mostly played the middleman between the vendors of Caiyi Town and the students stuck eating Lan vegetables.

Sometimes he could even be convinced to tug on his contacts for other things, too.

“You’re a true friend,” Wei Wuxian said, clutching the bottle of chili sauce to his chest. “A true and wonderful friend.”

“You still have to pay,” Nie Huaisang said, his eyes curving up behind his fan. “No discounts.”

“A ruthless, vicious, cut-throat friend…”

“I lend you the porn for free, don’t I?

“Wonderful! Wonderful friend!”

3

No matter what Jiang Cheng said, Wei Wuxian was trying to keep his head down during their time at the indoctrination camp. He was taking this whole thing very seriously: he wasn’t making a fuss (too much), he wasn’t being insulting (too much), he wasn’t even socializing (too much).

Lan Wangji didn’t count, anyway; after what had happened to him, he needed someone bothering him.

But Wei Wuxian was being good and keeping back from the rest!

Well, he was, except then he saw Nie Huaisang and just had to go over to say hello. It was only polite, and had nothing to do with the fact that during the months he spent at the Cloud Recesses, he’d learned that Nie Huaisang could sell anyone on anything.

“I don’t suppose you have contacts that will sell you barbeque here,” Wei Wuxian said as a greeting, because the food they’d received was frankly disgusting in a way that made him wistful for the Lan sect like it had been a gourmet restaurant.

“Well,” Nie Huaisang hedged, and Wei Wuxian’s eyebrows shot up. “Don’t get too excited, it’s not barbeque…”

It was meat, though, chunks of that had probably been roasted as skewers at one point, and Wei Wuxian didn’t even care that it was cold as he scarfed it down, immediately feeling ten times better than he’d been before.

“Where?” he asked. “How?”

“There’ll be a surprise inspection tomorrow morning,” Nie Huaisang said instead. “Keep your head down, they’re looking to make an example out of somebody.”

“How do you know that?”

Nie Huaisang shrugged. “I brought art.”

“To the indoctrination camp?”

“Wen soldiers get lonely and bored too, Wei-xiong.”

“You’re trading for information using porn?”

“Don’t be silly. I’m trading porn for meat, and getting the information while we’re chatting. A large number of the Wen sect cultivators used to be their own sects, you know, before they were absorbed, and not all of them are happy about what’s going on here. You just have to figure out who the loyalists are, avoid them, and focus on the rest, and it’s easy.”

“I still can’t believe you brought porn to the Wen sect,” Wei Wuxian said, shaking his head. “What’ll you do if your brother finds out?”

“You’re joking, right? He helped me pack it.”

Wei Wuxian will never understand the Nie sect.

4

Wei Wuxian stared wordlessly at his bowl.

There was a single slice of radish in it.

“Is this a joke?” he asked Wen Qing, because it might be, and she glared at him, meaning that no, it was not. “Don’t we have anything else?”

“With what money, Wen-gongzi? Do you think it comes from thin air?”

“I had a friend once who could make it come out of thin air,” he grumbled, looking down at his bowl. He’d practiced inedia, he didn’t need it, except for the fact that he really, really did. Not having a golden core made things hard. “He could’ve sold fish to fishermen, except he mostly just sold porn.”

Wen Qing rolled her eyes at him. “Wonderful story, Wei-gongzi. Positively heartwarming. But unless your old erotic art dealer is going to come to Yiling to help us sell some radishes, I don’t care.”

Naturally, that was impossible. Wei Wuxian was a villain now, his name blackened, the whole cultivation world against him –

Actually, as far as he could tell, the Nie sect didn’t seem to give a damn about him one way or another. From all the stories Nie Huaisang had told about his brother and from everything he’d seen in the war, Nie Mingjue wasn’t the sort of person to let evil sit around on a mountain while he was busy with other things – if he objected, he’d be there the next day with his saber, ready to put him in his place.

He hadn’t, obviously.

His hatred of the Wen sect was pretty well-known, but he’d taken no action at all to invade Yiling and demand that Wei Wuxian hand them over, and Wei Wuxian was mostly sure that it wasn’t because he was scared of what Wei Wuxian could do with the Stygian Tiger Seal.

…it was probably just the hunger getting to him and making him think crazy things. Not caring enough to go against him was pretty far from supporting him, after all.

But, hey, he wouldn’t be risking anything if he just wrote a tiny little letter asking Nie Huaisang for some advice on selling things, right?

I never thought I’d see the day my Wei-xiong finally became a merchant, the return letter said. I’ll be there in three days. I expect to see liquor.

Wei Wuxian took Wen Ning down the mountain and stood on his shoulders in order to emancipate a jar from the local tavern, but by the time Nie Huaisang arrived, there was, in fact, liquor.

Even Wen Qing – who had opposed the entire outing once she had heard about it upon their return – suddenly thought it was a perfectly reasonable sort of theft when Nie Huaisang offered to trade a giant crate full of meat for it.

“We had some leftovers from a boar hunt,” Nie Huaisang said mournfully, accepting the liquor and a bowl of radishes. “I need variety, Wei-gongzi, it’s terrible. You have to help me get rid of it; I can’t stand to look at it any longer.”

“You’re not supposed to be here,” Wei Wuxian reminded him in between glorious bites of pork. He was going to be a very good friend and do his best to ensure that Nie Huaisang’s request was fulfilled, even if it meant taking seconds and possibly thirds. “I asked for advice, not a visit.”

“You can’t expect me to put my good name on what could be inferior goods,” Nie Huaisang sniffed.

“Your good name? The one known for porn, you mean?”

Nie Huaisang rolled his eyes at him. “So show me what you have to sell.”

“It’s mostly just the radishes,” Wei Wuxian said. “I tried to tell Wen Qing that we should plant potatoes, but –”

“Forget the radishes,” Nie Huaisang said. “What’s this I hear about you designing a compass that pinpoints resentful energy?”

“Oh, that?” Wei Wuxian said, blinking. “Yeah, I made one of those – the Burial Mounds is the biggest source of resentful energy around, and it’s easier to have a compass that points home instead of north, you know? But what does that have to do with selling radishes?”

“Wei-xiong, you’re hopeless. Leave it all to me, and you’ll have your sect up and running in no time.”

“Yeah, that would be – wait, sect? What sect?”

“Actually,” Nie Huaisang said, tapping his fan against his cheek. He was just plain old ignoring Wei Wuxian now, which, hey! “I take it back – before you leave everything to me, show me what other ideas you’ve been cooking up. What about those talismans you used during the war? The spirit-drawing ones?”

“Spirit summoning,” Wei Wuxian corrected.

“Yes, those. Have you improved on those at all?”

“Uh, I mean, I guess…”

“Good. Show me everything.”

5

“So I have a sect now,” Wei Wuxian told Lan Wangji, who had come to visit. “We sell things to support it. Apparently.”

Lan Wangji nodded, apparently already aware of this. “The clan elders have agreed that using your flags to draw fierce corpses and other creatures away from areas with innocent human lives is an acceptable use.”

“Even the Lan sect?” Wei Wuxian marveled. “No wonder we’re making so much money.”

Then he sighed.

Lan Wangji looked questioningly at him.

“Well, I have a sect now,” Wei Wuxian said. “Everyone’s expecting me to – you know. Form the core of the sect.”

“Marry,” Lan Wangji concluded. Possibly advised? No, that didn’t sound like he was urging him to go ahead, which made a total of one person. “You do not have to if you do not wish. You already have an heir.”

“A-Yuan’s too young to be a proper heir,” Wei Wuxian objected, though he was secretly gleeful that people were generally accepting him as one. “And obviously I can’t just pick anyone; how will I know if they’re a spy? Or if they’ll secretly dislike A-Yuan?” He sighed again. “The worst part is, I think Nie Huaisang is plotting against me, too.”

“Plotting?”

“Yeah! He’s encouraging people to ask me about marriage, when clearly it’s better for me to stay off the market…what about you, Lan Zhan? Are you planning on marrying?”

“No,” Lan Wangji said.

“We’ll be a bunch of old bachelors, then,” Wei Wuxian said. “You should come more often, A-Yuan loves you…hey! I have a great idea! Why don’t we get married? Then no one will bother us ever again!”

“Mm,” Lan Wangji said.

“Mm? What does that mean?”

“It means I will need to send Nie Huaisang his payment in the morning,” Lan Wangji said, and moved to sit next to Wei Wuxian.

“Payment? You bought something from him? What did you want to –”

Lan Wangji silenced him pretty effectively, no spell necessary, and by the time Wei Wuxian retained enough ability to think through what exactly the purchase must have been, he’d already been converted to thinking that it was a very intelligent purchase to make.

Nie Huaisang really could sell anything.

[crucioslut]

Red. Red lips, red dress, red wine. The young witch's heels sounded against the floor as she made her poor attempt to silently slip back to the party unnoticed. Her legs slightly wobbly and her sixth, or was it seventh, glass of wine of the evening in her delicate fingers. She'd almost made it to the stairs before she ran into something, someone full force, hitting against his shoulder. Bella raised her head to reveal none other than the Dark Lord himself. Oh, shit. Fuck. Bloody fucking hell. Before the newly wed young protégé could come up with an excuse for her wandering, the Dark Lord had backed her into a wall and was gripping her sharp jawline to force her gaze upon him. Red wine from the glass she clutched clumsily splashed on her dress at the sudden movement. Instinctively Bellatrix began to giggle and hiccuped, before blushing scarlett and covering her mouth. Bella's heart hammered in both fear and adrenaline. Even his touch was full of power, and she swore she could feel it surging through her like electricity, making her bones tingle. Her big brown eyes wide. Porcelain white flesh with just a peppering of the faintest freckles only visible from this proximity. Her heavy mass of curls as black as coals fell over her shoulders and crept down her back. She stared at her Master in her inebriated state in absolute terror at first, feeling much like naughty child who'd been caught in the cookie jar. But that fear soon calmed into total complete amazement the longer they stared at one another. This was the first proper one-on-one they'd ever had. Perhaps it was the alcohol talking, but Bellatrix decided then that making a lasting impression here would be the best idea. It may have been her only chance. True, the Dark Lord had known of her skill level and dedication. It was what had lead him to accept her and Rodolphus as part of his empire. It wasn't enough. Bellatrix Black Lestrange would be a name to go down in history. She was destined for more. She'd tell him the truth. Bella's pillowy lips twisted into a cautious smirk, anazlying his reaction as she spoke, carefully but confidently. Her breath pure of Chateau Margaux combining with the spicy musk that was her perfume. "Please forgive me, my Lord. I was only curious." She swallowed hard beneath his hold feeling it get tighter. "You're the greatest wizard of all time." She said, very matter-of-factly. "You're going to lead me- all of us, into excellence, my Lord. You are going to save the wizarding world and restore proper order as it should be. You will venture to lengths no wizard has ever dared to go before..." As she spoke, her expression was filled with giddy adoration, as though Lord Voldemort was some kind of celebrity to her. "I couldn't help myself. I wanted to know you.." The witch shrugged, causing a blood red sleeve to fall further from her shoulder . She was a mess, really. It was obvious she was trying incredibly hard to keep her composure. The wicked vixen could easily use her sex appeal to her advantage here. She is an exotic sight to behold and she knew it. But no. That would cheapen her. Bella attempted to wiggle out of his hold just a little so as she could take easier breaths. "Besides, as if I want to be around those drunken imbeciles anyway." She rolled her eyes before her cloudy gaze drifted about her surroundings. "If I may say.. Your art collection is quite impressive, My Lord." The girl's deep stare finds her Master's once again. She smiled, fondly. "Do you remember the very first time we ever met? I couldn't have been older than ten or eleven. You were at our estate, discussing business with my father. I knew then what greatness truly was." And although her sober mind would never allow her or even dream to speak to the Dark Lord in such a casual way, she'd certainly meant it. From that day forward she knew that on day, someway, somehow she would walk along side him.

Prompt: an encounter after both parties had a little too much wine. Bellatrix is 19 and has just joined his rankings.

Lord Voldemort stood at the banister of his home, drink in hand as he stared down at his Death Eaters having their celebration in his ballroom below. They'd finally managed to infiltrate the Ministry and everything else was child's play after that. Very soon now he would take over the entire Wizarding Britain, so a small celebration seemed appropriate.

He took a sip of his wine, immediately feeling his head spin. Sighing, he downed the entire glass in one go and then vanished it without looking at it. Was it his fourth glass? Fifth? He shouldn't have let himself get carried away, even if it wasn't intentional. The wineglass was charmed to keep refilling and he'd not even noticed how much he'd drunk until now.

Now that the damage was already done...

He needed to go back to his bedchamber at once and sleep it all off. It had been unwise to get into this state at all, let alone allow any of his Death Eaters to see him so vulnerable. He turned away from the banister and made his way upstairs, thankfully still sober enough that he was able to walk smoothly. His mind, however, was disoriented. So disoriented that he did not even notice the girl walking past him until he stumbled into her.

'What—'

It was Bellatrix, his newest recruit, looking even more drunk than him. His eyes narrowed as they stared down at her, at her lovely face and then swept up and down her body where her dress had slipped off a little. What was she doing at the floor that belonged only to him, and at this hour. He must have been sloppy with the wards, but did she have a death wish?

'Shouldn't you be at the party, Bellatrix?'

He stepped in closer to her until she was pinned against the wall behind her, his body very nearly pressed against hers. He raised his hand to stroke her jaw, then roughly caught her chin, lifting it and forcing her to look up at him.

'You shouldn't be here,' whispered Voldemort, leaning towards Bellatrix. 'Did nobody tell you these quarters belong to me alone? No one else is allowed here.'

[sapphicvampyy]

Continued my killing eve finale thoughts, this was bad writing because they just killed her, and she didn’t need to she could have been happy with the love of her life, this felt personal like Eve was being punished for being with V like the writers snarkly saying of course this was also going to happen it didn’t need to be like this they could have been together and been happy, this was just getting this stupid morality shoved down our throats and you know what I’m fucking tired of it, the same shit happened in I care a lot, the 100, women characters always get punished the men characters never get punished why the fuck is walter white still alive??? But Villanelle is dead, women characters and specifically queer/ lesbian/ sapphic women characters get punished very very harshly and this is an on going trend, fictional men do so much bad and get happy endings but of course sweet Villanelle couldn’t, because why? Are they afraid women will see this strong powerful women and think they too can be strong and powerful and rise up against the bullshit that men bring? That how dare a character who is so unencumbered by men get a happy a ending with the woman she loves, how stupid of us for even thinking this is a possibility this is absolute fucking bullshit imagine pouring your heart into a character for four years and having writers that don’t know how to write, I said what I said, give this piss ass shit ending. And this is a trend I’ve seen recently I think writing is getting worse particularly in the tv show area, the only really big film example I can think of this is The Last Jedi but anyways it’s like writers equate satisfying cohesive storytelling with fan service they are not the same thing AT ALL if you leave a bread crumbs and some fans figure it out guess what you’ve done told a cohesive fucking story, but lately there’s been this bullshit trope of shocking the audience and anything to shock the audience and it doesn’t make fucking sense for the story, and it doesn’t add anything it’s just shock factor a cheap gimmick that cheapens the writing I think this of excessive gore as well shock factor cheapens the project that’s my personal opinion and in my opinion if you have to rely on shock factor your not a very creative writer, if the only way you can heighten stakes is by killing off a character you need to go back to the drawing board im sick of this aversion to happy endings in storytelling not everything needs to have a happy ending, but some things do and it doesn’t cheapen the story to have a happy ending but guess what shock factor does. I don’t know how to make these writers know how to tell better satisfying stories. Let alone with queer women characters who always get punished im just sick of it I will always have villanelle and love her and she will be there for me and the show but this ending what an utter betrayal to the fans, no one liked this ending I remember reading a review in season 2 about how they should have just let Eve give into villanelle then, and they have always been afraid to do it and it does read a little homophobic and they most definitely did do the bury your gays trope, this character meant so much to so many people and she deserved better and we deserved better. And villaneve deserved better. I’m still heartbroken. Learn how to write. You know what we should get articles written about this we should make a stink about this I don’t know how else to get these writers to learn that bury your gays isn’t cute and having a character that’s been through so much trauma just be killed off so brutally isn’t okay especially when men characters get away with everything, looks like in fiction that’s the case as well. We gotta let them know we’re fucking tired of this as women as queer women, as queers we want happy endings and of course don’t just keep a character alive because there queer but they didn’t need to do that for the story they could have ended on the hug but they chose not too now of course don’t harass those god awful writers or whoever made that choice I’m sure some more than

[tenshiharmonia]

Bayonetta Recap - Part 1

Hell-o everyone. I’m back once again to bother this corner of the Internet with my Bayonetta OCs (if you can really call them that). Since we finally got a release date for the third game, I thought it would be nice to write a little recap of what I’ve imagined so far regarding those characters. I must admit, I’m not as hyped as I thought I would be about this new game. Don’t get me wrong, what we have seen so far looks absolutely exquisite. It’s just that I really detest it when a franchise inserts the notion of multiverse in its plot. It’s a matter of personal taste that sadly cannot be helped, but really, it’s a sure way to pretty much kill any interest I might have in something... Okay, I may be exaggerating a little, but still, it usually leaves quite a sour taste in my mouth. I don’t know, most of the time, I just feel like all it does is undermine the bond between the spectator and the story, cheapening the narrative value of both the characters and the events. I mean, how is Cereza supposed to be "One of a Kind" when there are so many of her ? Don’t get me wrong, there are certainly ways to pull it off, and the notion having technically been part of the franchise since the very beginning makes it a little easier to swallow, but it definitely tainted my enthusiasm quite a bit. Then again, I’m still fully intending to purchase the game. The positives definitely outclass the negatives. It’s just that, I’m feeling a lot more lukewarm about it than I used to and it kind of pains me a little... Anyway, as I pointed out, it’s merely a matter of personal taste, so feel free to ignore that paragraph. :p For the rest, it goes without saying that everything I came up with so far is solely based on the first two games. I don’t know how the third one will affect the content of this recap, but we’ll worry about that in due time. Without further ado, I thus welcome you for one more chimeric dive into my imaginary world. I hope you’ll enjoy the trip. ^_^

First of all, for those of you who may not have read my previous posts on the matter, I’d like to make a quick summary of the context surrounding those characters. All in all, the initial concept was ultimately quite simple, and I dare say, not particularly original. Playing the games, I just got the idea of a male Umbra Witch whose main animal form would be a black lion with a golden mane. For good measure, I also decided to give him a Lumen Sage sister, and it all stemmed from this. I still have to work on the exact details, soi t might be subject to change, but the basic idea is that they started off as a pair of orphaned street urchins. Although they are actually not related by blood, they’ve always thought of each other as siblings. Somehow (that part is especially unclear), they ended up in Vigrid and were taken in by the two clans, quickly demonstrating a remarkable level of midi-chlorians spiritual energy. However, while the boy - Máni - displayed a strong affinity for darkness, the girl - Apollonia - proved more sensible to Light. To help them reach their full potential, it was thus agreed that each clan would take care of one sibling : Máni was therefore taken in by the Witches, while Apollonia went with the Sages. Still, their bond remained unbreakable. I like to imagine that the relations between the two clans were a lot more cordial back then. So while it was, officially speaking, frowned upon, it was kind of an open secret that the two siblings were still in contact with each other. Of course, the birth of a certain child soured the relationship between the two factions to an unprecedented extent. In the midst of this brewing conflict, Máni and Apollonia grew up to be formidable magic wielders, hoping to become a bridge between light and darkness, treating their infernal and heavenly partners not just like tools, but like actual friends and individuals. But the machinations of Paradiso were soon to turn rivalry and distrust into full-on hostility. The two siblings did their best to prevent the situation from degenerating into an actual war, but when it became evident that neither the Witches nor the Sages were willing to listen to reason and back off, the two of them were left with no other choice but to flee Vigrid, refusing to fight a senseless and fratricidal war.

With the help of their otherworldly friends, angels and demons alike, they settled somewhere else and founded their own town, Glitnir, the Radiant City, where light, darkness and humans were free to coexist. A secret community that has quietly lived on the fringes of society for the past five hundred years. However, they seem to have been a lot more active as of late. So when a chance encounter leads Bayonetta and Máni to cross paths, the feisty Witch is left with quite a lot of questions. Another survivor of the Umbra Clan ? She’ll have to get to the bottom of this ! Feeling that something huge is afoot in the shadows, and with one of the boy’s bullets as her sole clue, Cereza thus sets off in pursuit of the mysterious lad, determined to shed some metaphorical light on that affair... Aaand this is pretty much all I’ve got in terms of plot. As you can see, I like to imagine that Apollonia and Máni would start off as antagonists. I have yet to determine what their grand design could be and why it would pit them against Bayo, but one of their core aspects would be that they are genuinely righteous and well-intentioned - albeit slightly misguided - bad guys. So when it’ll become clear that they messed up big time, they’ll humbly swallow their pride and join forces with Cereza to help her fight whatever calamity they’ve brought upon the world, turning into full-fledged allies from then on. As I pointed out though, I still have no idea what their master plan could be. Well, I guess this isn’t entirely true. I had in mind that their ambition was to sever the connections between the three realms of the Trinity, to free humanity once and for all from the nefarious influences of Inferno and Paradiso. I’m still on the fence about it, though. I don’t know how to put it, but it feels as if the concept makes sense and doesn’t at the same time. I mean, when you take their backstory into account, it would be logical for them to want to free humanity from the meddling of the other realms. But at the same time, their entire philosophy is based on the peaceful coexistence of angels, demons and humans. I imagine that all their friends could be just as fed up as them of Heaven and Hell, but still, I feel like it would kind of contradict their ideology. Then again, coming to terms with this contradiction could also be part of their personal journey. I’m not entirely convinced yet, but watching them open their eyes and realize that turning the human world into a gigantic walled garden won’t solve anything - on top of having unforeseen and disastrous consequences - would certainly make for an interesting storyline. I think it would also make sense for their plan to involve Omne in some way, as a being who stands at the limit between light and darkness, but we know so little about it and the role it plays in the Trinity of Realities, that I fin dit a little difficult to devise a plot it could fit in...

Anyway, I think that this sums up the general idea pretty well. If you have any question, feel free to ask me. I don’t know if I’ll really be able to give you an answer, but it’d be a good occasion for me to flesh those characters out and think about all kinds of details that might have eluded me. ^_^ For now though, let’s get better acquainted with the two siblings and all the colorful characters who gravitate around them. I tried to be as organized and exhaustive as possible, but it’s still quite a mess. So once again, don’t hesitate to ask me if there is a point you think wasn’t clear enough. With that being said, let’s begin this recap by taking a look at the main boy himself. Let’s-a go !

(For the sake of readability, I will be dividing this recap in multiple posts. I hope you don’t mind. :p )

[papers4me]

Fruits Basket, Se03. ep 6.(Part 1)

The main female protagonist who, has been the “mother /psychiatrist/ fixer/curse-breaker” for 57 eps & 2 seasons, has finally had her own “I’m a real person with my own issues” ep !!!! YESS! So happy!!! also, so underwhelmed. Tohru has been painted to be this utterly selfless & altruistic character for long, that when she’s finally a balanced character it’s presented in half an episode? Don’t get me wrong, I like the ep, but there’s also the same feeling of bullet train that I felt in momiji’s ep! ugh!! I hated that feeling! Go away~ oh well.. I’ll quickly state what I didn’t like, before jumping into what I liked, in order to end with a happier note~

What I didn’t like:

Tohru’s monologue after leaving shigure & Isuzu felt more like a background exposition more than a true character’s thoughts. The reason is that It is quickly narrated with quick flashbacks from the past with intentional pieces missing from the flashback. Pieces like” how did Kyoko hurt tohru? She said to kyo, in se02, ep “ I feel like I’ve only caused her sadness” &  tohru’s flashbacks in se02 of her mother leaving/ closing a door. All these things not included in tohru’s 1st ever personal monologue made it seem like quick fill in for the audience more than tohru’s main struggle. Compare it to Yuki’s 3 ep monologue in se02, filled with all his own background info, hence, we as audience sit back & just feel. With tohru a little brain work is needed of putting things together in the puzzle is needed because NOTHING abt her trauma has ever been explained to us prior to her monologue . Also, compare this kyo. A character who ONLY have 2 eps dedicated to him in 57 eps, yet even without monologues & with hidden secrets for climax purposes, his emotions are clear cuz his background was explained early in se01, ep24 & se02, ep9. Compared to them both, her monologue felt a bit lacking.

What’s up with the following scene? Her crying & kyo comforting her mid-street. He saw her crying, asked what’s wrong & she couldn’t say & he gave her a comforting advice. All good. Kyo always give the most needed advice for tohru to be herself & feel comforted. Se01, “complain more, be selfish” Se02, somen table scene & asking her abt her future plans & the hiro incident. Kyo has tried to guess whats wrong first. Here he saw her cry in the middle of the street & just gave her an advice? couldn’t he at least guess wrongly if it is her granpa? school? anything? This scene is AMAZING but it feels off a little.

Kyo’s “ now I remember” EXCUSE ME?????? se01, ep14, valentine ep, he got a nightmare, then when shigure talked to him, we saw a quick flashback that we didn’t now what it is but now it IS kyoko. se02, the entirety of ep9 & the “ I won’t forgive you” & the flashback of young him with kyoko talking abt tohru. se02, ep 22 his fight with yuki & the clear face of kyoko telling him abt something regarding the hat. His entire shutdown of tohru IS abt kyoko NOT abt him being a monster cuz tohru accepted monster kyo in se01 ep 24! so.. REMEMBER WHAT????? the accident?? I feel like being hit with a rock. I mean, it makes sense that kyo will get PTSD after seeing the hat, cuz he remembers the bloody accident vividly. But it is the dialogue that IS weird. “ I remember” ?? it makes no sense? unless it is another hidden secret & will be revealed later. If so, then forget this point.

Kagura (more on her below). Now, let’s talk abt what I liked!

-Grief (the most difficult theme to express in literature): Excellent writing!

Grief is one of the most diverse human emotions. ppl who grief a loved one either erase everything abt them in order to cope with the pain of loss & live on, or drastically engrave everything, not want any memory to slip away, or hold the deceased on a pedestal, or hate them irrationally in order to forget abt them, some deny that the loved one is gone, others talk to them daily, some act & live normally for years & suddenly it hits them that this loved person is truly gone & they breakdown. Others, direct their disbelief of losing a precious one into the envy that other bad ppl are still living, why my precious one is dead?. Thats why, it is a difficulty emotion to understand by others. Ppl watching you will always think that comforting you is enough & that the longer you take, the more impatient they are with you. Tell me, watching tohru this ep, didn’t you feel that:

Come on. tohru, you can love your mom & kyo! who says only ONE person can be your precious?

Umm, why she cries for her mom NOW? 2 years after her death? Is she over it already?

Tohru~~ your mom aint going no where cuz you loved a guy? she’s in your heart, girl. Ugh!

Compared to yuki who was abused by his parents & kyo whose mom commit suicide in front of him, tohru’s trauma is meh~

Feeling this way abt tohru is exactly how many feel abt ppl struggling with grief. You are NOT a bad person if you felt this way. It means that thankfully you weren’t struck by grief to tohru’s extent or that your grief went about differently than tohru. Grief is a crippling feeling. It is valid, strong, overwhelming, paralyzing & above all very unique to the person themselves. Tohru feeling that her mom is slipping away from her memory is so realistic & utterly heartbreaking. Grief hurts & moving on from grief hurts more!!!! The more you go on & live your life, the more you feel like you betray your loved one.

Tohru’s entire existence is for her mother & so her mother LIVES inside her:

Finishing high school cuz it’s her mother’s request.

Getting a job to sustain herself cuz she has no one to support her financially.

Giving her mom’s wisdom & teachings abt life to others.

imitating her dad’s speaking style to prevent her mom from “leaving”.

Being the perfect girl in order to portray that her mom, who is a gangster & is hinted by the ugly relatives to be unfaithful to her husband due to tohru not taking after her dad, actually raised a respectful girl!

Talking to a dead cold lifeless picture as if it is a living human being & going into panic attacks when she looses such pictures.

Suppressing all her true “ ugly, negative” emotions & only giving the fake smiles & positive attitude.

She fears that ppl will leave her if she isn’t “comforting, happy”, hence, the whole facade of “ i’m okay, I’m okay”.

Immersing her self in ppl’s issues so she won’t face her own feelings of utter loneliness, fear of the future, & being left behind when everybody moves on with their lives.

Thinking that having selfish desires contradicts the “ hopeful, kind” girl images, hence, the fear to actually wants sth for herself. Everything HAS TO BE for the sake of the others.

Tohru is deeply traumatized & her complex, unhealthy but extremely realistic attachment to her mom must be broken. Tohru must learn to LET GO.

-Kagura’s character’s assassination. aka (violence heals y’all!)

The show wanted to express the emotion that kagura is still in love with kyo, but is learning to let go & accepting kyo/tohru love. I love that. Her speech with kazuma abt not being able to face tohru cuz her face will show her emotions is so relatable & it hit ME personally. Loved that. Then, she learns that tohru truly loves kyo & should confess to him not talk to Isuzu & I get that, it make sense that she lashes on thru & teach her the value of being open abt your feelings & dont loose him. all cool & understandable. BUT:

How dare you slap tohru like that? you don’t know what she’s going through? tohru is wearing funeral clothes for God’s sake! she just visited her dead mom, you insensitive woman! How dare you assume that all tohru is struggling with is love love, romance romance yay~ confess, kiss, be happy?

Tohru & kyo’s issues are deeper than typical, normal, shallow shojo love. It is related to child trauma & abuse. To their own individual identity & self-image! Their romantic love is meant to guide them towards better choices for the future, not magically heal everything. Their mutual love is NOT the answer to their issues.

How dare you slap someone to make them go back to their senses? this is such an anime move! ugh!~ it cheapens the emotional weight of character’s emotions.

“ I’m not apologizing to tohru. We communicate thro fists” excuse me?  you arent even communicating with kyo thro fists! he sees you & run! the only time he thanked you for, was when you didn’t “ communicate thro fists” & played with him as a child! Not only make her hit tohru but not apologize??

No one told her off? are you foreal?? Isuzu pouting lips is no match for Isuzu powerful emotions when she’s embarrassed, & kazuma! where you at? Happy at the “ open confrontation”? Why do you kill kagura’s character like that?

Side Notes:

I hate how this went by in half an ep like they did with machi!! tohru is THE main character for God’s sake! But it looks like the show is not so fond of the true tohru who wants stuff & screams & talks to herself, alas she isn’t the angelic, innocent girl that is saturating the heck out of all shojo amines. Oh well~ perhaps tohru’s issues will be visited again in the finale?

Kyo gets PTSD reaction in front of tohru. great. Now what’s next? I won’t ever forgive the anime if next ep, kyo & tohru are all normal or worse the episodic theme prevents the continuation & jumps elsewhere. Nearly all the eps that didn’t end with a happy note, started the next ep somewhere & totally forgot the cliff hanger. such as, Isuzu’s ep in se02, it ended with tohru’s nightmare & next ep started yuki’s issues with tohru all smiley & bright. Another example, the Cinderella play ended with kyo/tohru torn symbolism where each is awkward with the other, next ep machi !!!!!! & kyo/ tohru all normal in kazuma’s house. But this time, it will be an epic mistake to do the same. Kyo going full traumatic in front of tohru to the point of her screaming is not sth you skip & start over erasing. Don’t disappoint me show! you can’t screw that, can you?

I love the symbolism of kyoko disappearing from the picture & the crack of her framed pic at the end with it still continued in he ED. Good job.

They are building for a hug clashing scene between kyo & tohtu. it must hurt. It is designed to hurt. I wanted it to hurt. It is not abt romance. It is abt mental & emotional trauma. I’m excited. But I’m scared. After today’s ep, I can confidently say I don’t trust the director. I’m an anime-only, but tohru’s part in the story is the least touched upon, the quickest to get over with & has the wackiest animation. They just don’t know how to depict an emotional tohru~ sigh~

Tohru is written to be a unique protagonist in the sea of innocent, selfless & always happy shojo heroine & opposed to the badass, physically strong female protag in shonen. She is the most realistic, but so much of her potential is wasted so far~~

“ saving the sohma’s. breaking the curse for others is a lie, in reality I wanted to do it for kyo” This line is supposed to be liberating for tohru cuz for once she is putting herself FIRST! It is not abt kyo. It is abt herself! it is cuz SHE wants him. See the difference? See how this line gives tohru the biggest character development!! but still sth is missing. I duno..

I have lots to say abt tohru, kyo, shigure, the grandpa, kyoko, Isuzu & even kazuma! I’ll do that in part 2.

I still liked the ep tho. It is solid. I”ll like it MORE if they continued from here & didn’t cut it cold.

[twin-scars]

You make really good points here. But I think everyone forgets that the main goal is for Steve to always have sympathy--he's the one we're supposed to feel sorry for but also root for. Which is strange, because out of all the characters he seems to be the most privileged. Not saying privileged people don't have problems--just that we never see evidence of Steve's parents being dicks to him or him going through financial troubles the way the Byers do. (Fandom Steve is canon Jonathan to most. And that's fine...have your headcanons...but Steve is not Jonathan in any way in the show.) Steve's problem is he can't find a girl he loves like Nancy, which...also doesn't make sense and is actually not a crucial problem to have.

Because, before Robin tells him she's a lesbian, he's so ready to make her his girlfriend. He's over Nancy because he's finding he likes Robin. He even states it while under the influence of the truth serum that he's over Nancy.

And, if we follow what the writers want us to follow...Nancy was horrible to him during their relationship (she wasn't), she couldn't tell him she loved him and they broke up and it's her fault (it's not). But we're supposed to feel sorry for Steve and not consider Nancy's feelings. We feel sorry for Steve because he's a good guy now and becoming an even better guy. So why shouldn't Nancy want him? How dare she. Because she just doesn't love him, and I think it has little to do with Jonathan. (Like yeah, sure, Jonathan is part of it but I think Nancy just realized how much she had changed since Barb died.) We know Nancy has been attracted to Jonathan since season one, and their friendship is apparent in season two, even if it's off-screen. Why else would Steve call Jonathan her 'other boyfriend'? Clearly he felt something was going on between them.

Steve sees himself as a good guy. He sees Jonathan as a good guy. What he can't figure out is why Nancy is with good guy Jonathan and not him. So they tease Stancy in season four, but we're only seeing and hearing Steve's prospective. Nancy can't get a goddamned word in. Yes, she's attracted to him, but physical attraction doesn't guarantee love necessarily.

We're given zero indication that Nancy spent time with Steve prior to the events of season four. We get the impression that most of the party doesn't hang out with Steve--it's just Dustin (Lucas, in Lucas On The Line, goes to Robin for advice and talks to her more than Steve, and Mike is wrapped up in D&D and the Wonder Twins to care about Steve).

I think now if they made it a Stancy endgame it would just be lazy and cheap. It would treat Nancy like she was a prize for Steve all along, and it would make everything she has been through irrelevant and make Jancy's relationship a vehicle to get Nancy back to Steve.

BUT the triangle only exists to Steve. Neither Jonathan nor Nancy are active participants. They're worried about their own relationship and futures, which makes the whole triangle thing highly debatable. There can't be a triangle if the other two don't even know its existence.

I doubt Stancy is endgame. I mean, there's always a chance it could be, but I have never once seen (official) merch with Steve and Nancy, only with Jonathan and Nancy. Just seems that if they were going in the Stancy direction they wouldn't waste money on making posters and stuff of Jancy only for it to fall apart. I never see Nancy or Jonathan separately on anything, as they're always paired together.

tl;dr Steve is always meant to have sympathy and having a Stancy endgame would negate Nancy and all the progress she has made. It's a cheap and lazy way of rewarding the 'hero' for his character development, especially since we're given little material on Stancy prior to season four. It cheapens the Jancy relationship by making it seem like it was a detour Nancy needed to make before ultimately deciding Steve is 'the one.'

At this point, I’m inclined to think that the St4ncy ship-tease was written to be (a) maximally flattering to Steve but (b) minimally impactful to Nancy. I suspect that it was included in the first place because love triangles, love them or hate them, drive audience engagement; however, I don’t think Steve and Nancy were ever going to get back together. The ship-teasing is for another reason: making Steve look good.

I say this because I can clearly picture a version of S4 where a St4ncy endgame is a serious possibility, and I might not even totally hate it if the show did right by Jonathan. Here’s what it would look like:

Steve and/or Nancy express some clear interest in each other before Eddie/Robin/Dustin suggested it. Ideally, it would be established that Nancy has been hanging out with Steve and Robin, and that their (especially his) company is a source of joy in her life. At minimum, either Steve needs to be the one to tell Eddie/Robin/Dustin that he still/again has feelings for Nancy, or Nancy needs to actively seek out his company early on in the action of S4. It’s one thing to have a cheerleading section; it’s another if the section seems to have initiated the idea.

Steve and Nancy’s future goals are more aligned. I don’t think this would be super-hard to write. Have Steve explain that he’s working towards a career in a field that matches with his demonstrated skills—teacher or firefighter or (sorry) cop—and have him make some comment about how his dad’s not thrilled but fuck him. Or even have him go, “yeah, I’m staying in Hawkins until Robin graduates, then I’m going to get out, see some of the world, and decide what I’m going to do.” They can bond over looking after the kids but don’t have him mention any babies they might have—that’s just a lot, regardless of Nancy’s feelings about eventually having children. He doesn’t need to be a hard-charging entrepreneur, just show some initiative and not focus so much on procreation.

This kind of relates to the previous point, but there’s less emphasis on Steve developing into a nicer, more accepting character. That’s great for Steve, but Nancy didn’t walk away from their relationship because Steve was mean or prejudiced; it was because they had different approaches to dealing with the past and also she was more attracted to Jonathan. The emphasis should be on how they’re closer to being on the same page re: fighting Vecna. Also, it should be acknowledged that Nancy has changed over the past couple of years since their breakup; she hasn’t been standing still while Steve got his shit together.

The fact that she’s with Jonathan is taken seriously. Steve doesn’t need to go to bat for Jancy—all’s fair in love and war—but he does need to show awareness that it exists (after he starts making cow eyes at her) and display some curiosity about how Nancy feels about that relationship. Nancy, for her part, has to be further along in her maybe-things-won’t-work-out-with-Jonathan journey, or at least let Steve know that she feels conflicted and has to figure things out with Jonathan. When it’s just glances and a pre-battle confession that don’t lead to anything, her existing relationship can be quietly deemphasized, but if it’s serious, that’s a different story.

This is maybe subjective, but I think it would work better if Steve has actually moved on from the Nancy he dated two years before, and now he’s falling in love anew with the person she is now. That’s way more romantic in my book.

Instead, the ship-tease is geared to make Steve look (a) cute and sweet and fun and memeable (like the bulk of the T-websites fandom seems to appreciate) but also (b) a credible wish-fulfillment figure who kicks ass and is attractive to women (like the more Reddit-ish crowd seems to want). To wit:

He can’t be too active in pursuing Nancy or display too much awareness of Jonathan because it makes him look less “wholesome.”

He has to be all about romance and babies because that’s cute while also according him some future status as a husband and father. His career is left tacitly unmentioned, so he could be anything from a stay-at-home dad to a cop—whatever the audience finds most attractive.

The emphasis is on his being a nicer person who cares about children because that’s what the audience loves about him.

He has to have never gotten over Nancy so the audience (most of whom probably have had an unrequited crush or unwanted breakup) can feel a little sorry for him…but not outright pity him, since he’s a badass and a major female character who’s portrayed as intelligent/capable/beautiful at least seems to see him as a viable romantic partner.

In short, he’s trapped by his own popularity, because the writers are going to play it pretty safe with him, lest he lose his appeal. It’s like the Single Female Lawyer episode of Futurama. The Single Female Lawyer can’t get married, because that’s not what people watch for.

Meanwhile, Nancy may think that Steve is a great guy and like how he looks without a shirt, but, between fighting Vecna and and helping Eddie and worrying about her relationship with Jonathan and getting to know Robin and confronting her Barb-related demons and stressing over the Cali Crew’s radio silence, her frisson with him comes off like a pretty minor concern for her. Even if she and Jonathan ultimately break up, I don’t think it’ll be because of Steve—it’ll be because of college.

I could be wrong, of course. Maybe the show will do something stupid and sloppy and wave away Steve’s RV dreams so he and Nancy are more compatible all of a sudden. Maybe it’ll do something stupid and offensive and wave away Nancy’s dreams. Or maybe the world will have changed so much that this is all a moot point. But I feel like the show’s invested enough in Steve’s semi-underdog status (which the audience loves) and Nancy’s ambitiousness (which gives them some non-sexist cred) to keep them apart.

[tarotnoob]

PAC: Where should you focus your energy; what to let go?

We’re going to figure out where you should be focusing your energy, if you’re putting it in the wrong/right place and maybe anything that you should stop (altogether) focusing that energy on.

Please take a moment to focus on the piles. The little cards are from a game called Sushi Go and just happened to fit the 1, 2, 3 order, heh. I’ll probably clarify on the side and let you know what I see.

Take a breath, focus, choose on intuition - number, pile, image, color.

Pile 1

Pile 1, you chose sleeping dumpling pile!

I just realized that most of the numbers on the bottom of the dumpling card are represented in the oracle and tarot cards, so that’s interesting.

Let’s go through oracles first.

The Council - The council itself reminds me of the idea of Judgment card, but this is about the “group” that will judge the actions of your life, of your own inner wisdom/intuition, and to trust in the universe and take risks instead of waiting for signs. 

Taming the Wind - This is kind of similar in that you’re acknowledging your place/co-creative existence within the universe, acknowledge your place in it and serve the higher good. It also talks about writing down your thoughts, keeping a journal, showing reverence and gratitude toward the universe. On the other hand, it also talks about clearing up misunderstandings, listening to others, focusing on that instead of just being right. (That sort of makes sense as I stare at the King of Swords and six of pentacles... ).

Before I forget, I guess already I get the sense of a couple of things... this might be about how you prioritize the way you communicate with others in your life or how you let them speak to you or treat you, whether the relationship is one-sided - you taking too much or allowing someone else to take too much from you and this being a repeating pattern within your life because of things related to co-dependency. But we’ll dig into that in a bit after I look at the last two oracles.

Realisation - How dare you make me use the British spelling! This fits well with 7 of cups and even the King of Swords since 7 of cups is a bit like “I don’t know” or even illusion and King of Swords is using logic, intellect to cut through mental fog or indecision. And with the Devil there, a realisation about a certain negative pattern regarding these issues in your life.

The actual meaning is about self-examination of “your role within a situation” as being important, which fits the Council and Taming the Wind oracles... like, knowing your place and your right to be in it. You might be giving too much of your power away to others, feeling like you don’t have the right to take up space but you might also be causing “harm” to others in the way you overpower them - and not allowing them to take up their own space.

It actually says “The realisation that we have a pattern, a bad habit or a behavior that is causing us pain is a powerful position, even though we may feel worry and pain around this discovery. We can take personal responsibility to change our situation since we know our current position. Knowing ourselves more completely enables us to accept ourselves more readily and dare to love exactly who we really are.”

The temple of my body. I think we know where this is going, but LET ME LOOK IT UP IN MY PHONE DOWNLOADS. As predicted, this is about respecting your body and others’ bodies, so to speak. It’s also about not having shame regarding your feelings on sex or being phased by what certain cultures tell you to believe, or society. Not cheapening the body (yours or others’) in any way. And this does include situations in which we’re in abusive relationships, telling ourselves we deserve it, etc...

I don’t really feel the need to clarify because we’re being pretty beaten over the head with this message. So in terms of priority, what to let go - 

You need to prioritize your self, your boundaries, your feelings, your body. Don’t give up your feelings or thoughts or body for the sake of appeasing someone else and vice versa, don’t try to encroach on other people’s space. Recognize that each one of us takes up a position in this universe. No one has more or less value than yourself, although we can argue about certain people being abominable, but at the core - we are all equal. Actions are what set us apart, good or bad, but ideally, we’re all deserving of just being.

If you’re giving too much of your power away to others, stop. You’re the priority. That’s not being selfish, it’s self-care/self-love and on a higher level, if you don’t love yourself you actually can’t help others at the highest possible level because there’s some amount of insincerity in your (even) good actions.

If you’re prioritizing... hiding who you are to fit what society or a culture wants, again - prioritize yourself. Those other people aren’t respecting your existence or being or body or whatever you want to call it. This includes abusive relationships of any kind or any unhealthy co-dependent relationships. 

So if you have any negative relationships in your life, you may need to let those people go or any situations that make you value yourself less, make you feel smaller, drain you of your energy or keep you from being your authentic self. This can also be any negative self talk behaviors. Focus only on yourself and what lifts your vibrations and energies, focus on your needs, not only meeting the needs of others, or thinking putting others before yourself is LOVE. You can love yourself and others at the same, there’s no this or that. And if someone doesn’t respect you the same way or your boundaries - it’s a reflection of them, not you. If you say “oh if I could just show that I love them enough by sacrificing my own happiness and self - “

Knock it off. That’s not how it works. You’re not helping them or yourself, you’re continuing this negative pattern of codependency and self-hatred or criticism.

The way you live your life will be judged at the end and so will everyone else’s, recognize we all have an important place in the universe and that you deserve to be treated that way, others do too, and that you should treat yourself well.

Also, again, there’s nothing wrong with your body or your identity with your body... society... is imperfect and stupid most of the time with very limited intellectual beliefs. If a section of society has an issue with gender identity, that doesn’t devalue you if you are trans or nonbinary. You are just fine the way you are; whether you’re religious or not, you are who you are and no one has the right to define that for you, not even your self. As in, don’t look at your body and think it’s ugly or wrong (I’m not saying dysphoria is invalid, btw), I’m saying, don’t hate yourself for being born how you are, inside or out, and no one outside of you is allowed to determine that for you, either - and that goes for anything including race or ethnicity, health disorders, mental disorders, etc...

Also your sexual orientation - fuck external validation. This stuff shouldn’t have any weight in determining whether someone has lesser value than anyone else. If someone has told you so, give me their number and I’ll slash their tires. I see some body shame in this pile, some sex shame. There’s nothing wrong with being asexual or hypersexual (unless that’s coming from trauma, ig), but still we’re allowed to express ourselves how we want but the idea is to not hurt ourselves purposely or others or well even incidentally, but yeah. And if you hold that true for yourself you need to hold that true for how you judge others.

that, ofc, doesn’t mean excusing abusive behaviors because that person has suffered abuse or trauma. we don’t need abuse cycles to keep perpetuating. and that’s clear here, too, that abusive or codependent toxic relationships should not be prioritized. prioritize the self and allow others to do so, as well. As for our little dumpling card, he/she/they looks quite at peace and reminds me a  bit of the Moon... so being at peace with our inner insecurities/uncertainties. And being okay with being by ourselves and not relying on others to make us whole.

Prioritize self for right now :)

Pile 2

I have a guess already and I wonder if it’ll turn out similar to Pile 1 in some ways, but let’s figure out the oracles first. It’s funny, though, we have the two shrimp tempuras and two of cups. Gosh, I wonder where we’re headed -

Not to mention on the card it says 2 x 5 with two typically being relationship/balance and five being change, so we’ll see. Although, off the top I see that there may be a tendency of impulsiveness instead of thinking something through, not always listening to intuition, particularly in regard to various relationships in your life... right, oracles first.

Release - Let go of anything that does not serve you. “Old negative habits do not engage you any more as the pay-off is not enough. You are ready to make room for bigger, brighter, more aligned things.” But, not just releasing, it’s actually believing in the pay off of releasing and how it will make your life better. They use quitting smoking as an example of obvious pay-off, but this could be like - do you have a shitty friend who always criticizes you when you need support but they’ve been your friend since high school so you don’t want to let them go. Like, the negative, I guess, is ... confrontation? History? Conflict avoidance? Loneliness if they’re you’re only friend? But, the pay off is - not feeling shitty about yourself anymore every time you talk to this “friend.” 

This would be a boundary issue and also an empowerment issue. Release the thing in your life that you know will have a positive pay out and release, believing in it or otherwise there may be some attachment or wonky-ness to it.

Naked Before the Stars - on a basic level, this is feeling good about yourself and your body (I wouldn’t be surprised if you had an interest in pile 1, if you did, go read it). It’s about comparing yourself to others or society’s standards... and just feeling good about who you are. I like the sentence in the guidebook that says: There is no perfection that is worth enough. There is imperfection, as proud as the heavens!”

Middle World - as I recall this oracle deck wanted to keep flopping out about five cards for each pile, so I had to keep SETTING BOUNDARIES with it and saying, no just one or two, good sir and or madam or person. A couple messages with this card. 1. Be expedient but don’t be reckless (hi, knight of wands). 2. Focus on the present, not just future or past. 3. it’s ok to ask for help from guides or spiritual support ... but it seems that those resources are not ready yet... as in... if you’re getting impatient about a manifestation... they’re not ready yet... so just allow it to happen as it’s supposed to do. Don’t force it.

For some reason I’m also drawn to High Priestess and two of cups being reversed and tying it to the “middle” as some sort of subconscious issues going on, as well. I feel (in looking at all the cards), an impatience. 

I didn’t clarify pile 1 because they didn’t need it, but I’m going to clarify your tarot cards. 

Heh... I feel like this pile drew a lot of fire signs or people with a lot of fire in their chart... and also people who can be quite stubborn when it comes to what they want and how they WANT IT NOW and why can’t they. 

WELL THINGS COME TO YOU AT CERTAIN TIMES BECAUSE IT TAKES PLANNING AND WE DON’T ALWAYS GET THINGS WE WANT WHEN WE WANT IT JUST BECAUSE WE WANT IT OR THINK WE DESERVE IT.

Y’all need to calm down.

Knight of Wands is clarified by Queen of Wands, Chariot, and Temperance... I sense some very strong willed folks, quite bold, impulsive, driven... but this force seems to be in need of moderation (Temperance), and is making other things in life out of balance. it could be that such a strong drive is pushing away your (abundance) and making it take longer. Although, maybe your expectations are quite high, as well. So if you think you can manifest, like, something HUGE in a short amount of time, you might want to... take a logic class.

Ace of swords clarified by Magician... there’s something new here and again very forceful and pushy because the sword and the Magician holding up the thingy are like HERE I AM, HERE’S MY NEW IDEA... so that along with the Chariot and Queen of Wands, I get that you are AMAZING and have all the skills to bring what you want into reality... you seem to very clearly know what you want (unlike pile 1 who had some uncertainty, realization to do). 

High Priestess reversed was clarified by a sideways Justice... so we have karma, balance, equality, fairness... (Libra, legal stuff). For me, this has to do with a lack of balance in regard to mindset... like there’s so much force pushing you forward in terms of drive... but it’s not in moderation and is throwing other things out of whack... and maybe this drive for (validation?) is something deeper involving childhood issues (hence the aspect of High Priestess that’s hidden/subconscious/secrets)... so it might due to reflect on why you need it now-now and are willing to bulldozer others to get there. It could be a karmic lesson thing, too... teaching you some patience.

Two of cups reversed (again an issue with balance) and particularly inner balance, but it could have to do with relationships (one on one relationships),, as well. This is clarified by Hierophant (family, marriage, beliefs, institutions, conformity, tradition); page of pentacles and 7 of pentacles.

I see a couple things here. A few of you might be waiting for a relationship to progress, like, literally waiting for someone to acknowledge your crush or waiting to be engaged... although I’m surprised you’d be waiting on the other person and wouldn’t just do it, lol, but you could be traditional and expect the other person to pop the question and they’re not.

Otherwise, I think this is mostly a very rooted belief or... habit I should say of expecting things to come to you right away... And again it seems to be a behavior that was/is caused by... the way you were brought up. I also sense you’re very stubborn (Hierophant is family and Taurus card, so - ).

And 7 of pentacles, to me, is hard work/effort but also patience... you’re waiting on this thing to grow... and page of pentacles is something new (like a relationship or job, but it could be a solid belief, too). And two of cups reversed makes me think inner harmony and balance). 

Back of the deck is Wheel of Fortune, so that’s also about destiny/timing - then nine of swords reversed and fool reversed, so another message about not being too reckless and to allow for the right timing, even if it feels slow to you.

So, what should you prioritize/let go of - well, ... the way you look at how you expect to receive things... to prioritize patience and the natural order/progression of the universe and how the invisible goo behind circumstances/miracles happens in our lives. You can’t force anything to happen the way you want, for yourself or in relationships... and being super reckless or taking too many risks or rushing in, is not always going to pay out for you. And also comparing yourself to others - well I’m doing this and they have that already but I don’t.

It works differently for each person. Don’t compare yourself to others, just worry about yourself and whether you’re in need of balancing out... your approach to certain things in life...  I don’t see anything wrong in being confident and driven, I just think the advice is... have some patience or otherwise you’re going to end up feeling quite frustrated. Take some time to meditate and get in touch with your intuition instead of acting on impulse (or greed).

And there’s nothing wrong with going a traditional route... not everything has to be so... round about just because you’re not super traditional or conservative. I do see here that... there is some need for that type of conservative mentality. Not in terms of politics, obviously, but there’s need of moderation here.

Not TOO overenthusiastic... because other people are a bit more introverted and need room, so you don’t want to take up more space than you’re allowed just because you’re louder or more confident (externally).

Such Leo and Aries vibes here... but with some earth... or in need of earth, ig. Although I see a lot of Sag cards... very fire-pile. Or Taurus with fire. And maybe communication isn’t your strong point... or how you communicate with others. You might be someone who overwhelms others as much as you overwhelm yourself, lol.

Pile 3

haha funny story i was 45 minutes into writing up this pile card by card and my shitty dell crashed. i save after every pile JUST IN CASE of that but it crashed here. instead of a long-winded play by play i’ll just give you more of a brief summary. *hits head against wall*

jaguar - releasing fear, releasing the shadowy part of you the circle - all things are interconnected and have their place today for tomorrow - the present and future are connected so worrying about how both work together is pointless downcast pride - giving into shortcuts and indulgences and shadowy behavior because it’s easier than standing up for others or you don’t want to avoid conflict, etc... Focus - came out reversed and i clarified with a sideways Justice, but I sensed anyway that it’s hard for this (potentially air sign heavy or water) group or Capricorns to focus on one thing because you’re so busy worrying about everything and how it’s going to work out, second guessing yourself to the point that you have deep rooted behaviors that aren’t so great.

i was also saying before i lost everything that here may be a couple people who this isn’t them but about a specific person in their life who’s a shady liar and they need to let go of.

also that the little sushi card has 3 and 10 on it, 10 being completion like the the world and 3 standing in for social, community, a little progress or... balance issues. plus the world is 21 so... it’s a 3. anywho.

i clarified page of cups with seven of swords and empress, which for me read as some issues with materialism or superficiality or... i guess i could say someone who’s so stuck in their comfort bubble that it’s a detriment to them.

nine of cups reversed clarified by queen of swords reversed - 9 of cups can be materialism as well... it can be inner contentment but... i think this is a history of... superficiality... like... or just someone who’s really drawn to the aesthetic, pleasures in life...  

four of wands clarified by four of pentacles gives me that vibe, too, of someone who’s a homebody who prefers to just... be in comfort rather than poke out of their bubble, but that’s... not always a great thing... or someone who just finds it easier to not stand out or work hard or put too much effort in because “why bother” or social anxiety, etc... or if this sounds like someone you know or in a relationship with... it might be okay to let them go. if they’re not doing great things for you.

ace of pentacles was odd because usually this is a new something coming in - money, career, relationship... but clarified by devil... and devil clarified by magician (that didn’t make me feel better) so magician is clarified by 9 of wands and world... so this could be a person you’ve just met or will meet and they might not be good for you so if you see red flags, end it right away.

but i actually thought this combo has to do with saturn in capricorn so i had looked up the meaning of that transit and it fit with the previous stuff about shortcuts and being lazy.

Capricorn is a disciplined sign that concerns itself with status and power. Both Saturn and Capricorn know that success takes effort, so there's no taking the easy way out during this transit. ... Think of Saturn in Capricorn as the ultimate get-your-act-together transit.

You can look more into that as your message here... but that transit in particular seems to want to be hitting you on the head here... and with the magician - this is also about communication (virgo/gemini). venus is in virgo at the moment but notn for much longer...  however magician is also about... creating your own power. which doesn’t seem to be what this group does... it’s what you need to be doing is... taking control of your life rather than being scared to do anything.

there seems to be a cycle of negative patterns that needs to end before something new can come in that involves... being your own magician... but in the goodway as the magician can also be a manipulator or liar... 

so in conclusion - what to let go... fear of the unknown, fear of leaving your comfort bubble, thinking it’s too late to change, being too shallow or superficial instead of authentic... relying on others to do the work, being a poor communicator... what to prioritize... well... your life path and purpose. we’re all meant to do something and it seems you’re slacking.

let go of that control and worry about the future that prevents you from making decisions or taking action...

i just feel like you need to stop, ground yourself, rethink your priorities here...  and do a spiritual makeover. then the universe will reward you with something new but you’ll also be the one who has to make it happen...

don’t give up or give in just because it’s hard.

[tatyana-dreaming]

Onegin Baden-Baden ‘98 Act 3

okay this type of lighting is acceptable because it gives off an ‘iconic’ look (I lack a richer vocabulary for describing such things, forgive me)

--quick aside for the classic zoom-in on the guy who is dead inside among all the lonely people:

great filmography!!

back to my regularly scheduled critique of the lighting -- honestly. You can only see about half of the people who are truly onstage because they are completely in shadow and their costumes are also black! (Which is a shame because their costumes are quite worthy of attention when you can catch a fleeting glance, and there is some interesting choreography going on that is trying to say something important....)

Okay, I know I said I am going to love this production unconditionally now and defend it, but honestly, the lack of lighting really cheapens what could otherwise have been a pretty luscious production, minimalistic or not... though now I’m wondering what’s hiding in all those shadows...hmmm....

a rare sighting of well-lit faces! (well... somewhat). By the way, Gremin’s aria was gorgeous, again, such a shame most of it was done in the dark!

Welcome to Act 3, otherwise known as the pit of darkness.....

...where we just stand like this for a little bit while the Ecossaise reprise plays (I absolutely love it, because guess what... there WAS no Ecossaise in this version!)

Did I mention there was indeed an actual pit? (of books, again, of course) (ohhhhh we love parallels from Act 1)

AREA DANDY ONCE AGAIN FINDS HIMSELF KNEELING AND INDEED HAVING FEELINGS

The level of coolness and collectedness this Tatyana has reminds me of the version where Tatyana is sitting at the table and sipping at her drink in a very blasé way, mockingly saying “ya plachu” (yeah yeah Yevgeny, what a sob story, crying my eyes out over here). She actually parallels Onegin’s brusqueness from when he rejected her by more of less saying with her motions “take a seat, kiddo, time for me to tell you how embarrassing this is for you”.... I really appreciate this, because Tatyana is all the more realistic the more disillusionment, wariness, and rightful bitterness in response to his actions that she is able to express (rather than premature hesitation and “I still love you” in body language/too quickly forgetting all the pain he caused)

Not a fun time in Yevgeny’s Corner of Shame

Honestly, I love the staging here, it says so much! Just wish they were more visible....

Catch the other parallel from Act 1? Instead of dropping Tatyana’s scarf back on her shoulders like a piece of garbage, Onegin is wrapping her in his coat like an absolute creepo :)

Is it really a quality production of Onegin if they don’t end up on the ground by the end?

Also, will one or both be flung into the book abyss that threatens below??? You’ll just have to watch for yourself to find out!!

But, oh goodness. This ending. THIS ENDING.

I was not expecting this at all. I’m still recovering.

It’s so perfect - it says so much, and it’s so satisfying (as it is terrifying, claustrophobic, and simply, honest. Onegin finally must face.... himself)

Watch it yourself if you dare and especially if you enjoy watching productions of EO - I hope you enjoy it as well!

One last warning (besides Triquet, honestly, those curls are horrifying :D) - the sound, alongside the lighting, is quite a bit subpar, but honestly, who am I to complain about a full length, lovely production of EO on Youtube?