#daniel howell fluff
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bbcradio1phil · 6 months ago
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2010 dan and phil flipping pancakes- my favorite
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cozyfoxy · 8 months ago
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Mystical Paths Chapter 6
Summary: The Howells have been the proud owners of a small but famous bookstore since the 1800s. They are known for being the only shop that collects original copies of magic writings. Dan works as the bookkeeper of the shop. As the busiest season approaches, one of the most renowned magic families reaches out to the shop and offers to gift them an original Spellbook of sorts. Little did Dan know that these offers would change his life forever.
Read on AO3
Chapter ONE
Warnings: Horror elements
It was raining. No, it was an absolute downpour outside, the sounds of the wind graining against Dan’s nerves. For the first time since he moved out of his parent’s house, he wished he hadn’t. Storms had always made him anxious, especially as a little kid, but this storm in particular seemed to be clawing at his mind, trying to make him break down. A sudden loud crash of thunder sent the grown man underneath his duvet, only his face poking out. He felt like a child.
He tremored and sucked in a gulp of air, trying to ignore the noise from the outside. Dan had tried watching a show, listening to music, and even reading a book, but nothing could distract his mind from the hellish sounds outside his walls. So, he was trapped, listening to the angry pelting of rain on his roof, the howling wind, and the crashing thunder.
Dan knew he was being ridiculous. He knew that the weather couldn’t hurt him, nor was it trying to, but his anxiety was bad enough without a storm setting it off. The warning from Phil’s note still echoed in his mind. Was there any real danger, or was Phil messing with him? As much as he wanted to tell himself that it was some kind of messed-up prank, he just couldn’t see it being one. He didn’t trust Phil, or any magic wielder really, but deep down he knew that more dangerous, more manipulative forces were out there. 
A sudden flash of lightning illuminated the world outside his window, showing an oddly human-shaped silhouette in his back garden. His brown eyes widened and he quickly shook his head, trying to calm his uneven breathing. It was just a bush or something, it had to be. No one in their right mind would be out in a storm like this one, especially this late at night. Dan looked at the time on his phone with shaky hands, realizing it was just a bit past midnight. This storm had been going on for nearly two hours without stopping. 
Dan went to set his phone back down when it vibrated in his hand, bringing his attention back to it. He read the Ring notification repeatedly, a cold ball of fear forming in his stomach. “There is a person at your front door.”
He took in a shaky breath, pulling up the live video feed of his doorbell before he could talk himself out of it. Outside, on his front porch was a small-statured person, standing with their head down. He could only see that they had shorter, wavy-looking hair, and they seemed to be dry. Confusion overshadowed his unease for a moment as he studied the figure. They looked familiar in a way that Dan couldn’t quite place. 
Dan shook his head at himself again and sighed, deciding to ask the person what they were doing. He was safe in his room, the doors and windows were locked, and maybe the person needed help. Before he could even begin to speak to the person, he noticed that the figure had moved closer to the camera, like they were trying to look through it. Dan swallowed thickly and observed the person silently. It was like they were trying to use the camera as a peephole. Like they were trying to see inside. 
“I know you’re in there Daniel, come on, let me inside. I have missed you my dear.” the figure spoke, making Dan’s heart pound loudly in his ears.
That voice. All at once, Dan realized why the figure had seemed familiar and who that voice belonged to. It was his Nana. The same Nana who had raised him alongside his parents. She had been the first person he came out as gay to, the person who taught him piano, the person who would always sing to him when storms like the one outside would keep him awake. It was also the same Nana who had died just three years ago. 
“Daniel! Stop ignoring your grandmother and let me inside! Come on bear, it’s been much too long! It’s cold out here Daniel! Do you want me to get sick and die again? Do you want that on your conscience?” his Nana yelled from outside. 
Only, he knew that person couldn’t be his Nana. As much as he wanted it to be, he knew that it was some kind of imposter. Phil had warned him to stay inside, and Phil’s journal had warned him about the dead returning. Of course, he hadn’t read the page earlier, but he knew that he needed to now. His hands shook as he picked up the large book, watching the pages turn themselves to the one he desired. 
“The Three Days of Darkness. Day 1, the dead come walking.”
“The creatures that I have seen make me want to vomit. They take on the form of passed loved ones, taking on their voices, mannerisms, and everything to trick people into trusting them. They look almost perfect, but there seems to always be something just a bit wrong. I saw my grandfather, or it looked, sounded, and even acted like my grandfather. However, the sick creature seemed to forget that humans can not turn their heads 360 degrees. I knew it wasn’t my grandfather, even before the creature dropped the facade, as he had been dead since I was only twelve years old. 
When I yelled at the creature to go away, it got angry and ran at me. Its fingers sprouted sharp, blackened claws. Its eyes glowed red and its jaw unhinged like a snake ready to eat. Of course, it wasn’t able to harm me through my family’s protective ward, but it did try. I’m not so sure it could have harmed me anyway.
Though these creatures are nearly masters of disguise and very strong, it seems as though they must be trusted before they can harm anyone. My grandmother believes that they are a type of fae. The fae is very tricky and smart. They feast on human emotion for the most part, but some more malevolent fae fully devour people, magical or not. 
I don’t believe they are a type of fae, but I don’t know what they are, so I just call them mimics. Since my first encounter, I have only seen them two other times. Most recently. I had one trying to appear as Daniel Howell, it was nearly a perfect recreation. Luckily, I knew that they only came around one night of the year, so I was already prepared for the attempted trickery. I believed the mimic for a moment though, perhaps it was wishful thinking. However, the mimic didn’t take into account that Daniel doesn’t know his role in my life yet. 
This was the first mimic that I destroyed, and when I did, all that was left behind was an obsidian stone, carved to be the shape of a heart. My grandmother kept it, hoping to track where it came from and who it might belong to. All I know now is that these mimics were created by some kind of sick, twisted magic that I want nothing to do with. And it is very unpredictable and dangerous.” 
Dan shuddered at the words in the book before turning his attention back to his phone, watching the ‘mimic’ pace angrily on his porch. It was agitated that he wouldn’t reply to it, and now, he didn’t plan on it. Instead, he clicked out of the ring app and went to his contacts, cursing at himself before calling Phil.
“Dan? Are you alright?” Phil asked, answering on the first ring.
Dan took in a shaky breath, chuckling at himself, “I um
 no actually. There is a creature outside on my front porch that’s trying to look like my Nana. She died years ago Phil, and it’s getting angry and I’m kinda fucking terrified right now.” 
The other side of the line went completely silent for a moment, making Dan check to see if the call had failed or something. “Um
 Phil?” he asked nervously.
Phil growled through his teeth, “I will be right there. Stay in your room, do not make a sound. I’ll keep you safe.” 
“I-.” The line cut off before Dan could even finish his sentence. 
Dan buried himself completely underneath his duvet and pulled the Ring app open on his phone, watching as the mimic got even more agitated. He could see that it was losing control over how it looked. It was going back and forth between tall and short like it was struggling to keep its shape. Its back was becoming more haunched over and occasionally letting out sickening popping sounds when its bones stretched and changed. 
“Daniel if you don’t let me in I will let myself in.” It suddenly shrieked, no longer sounding anything like his Nana. Hell, it didn’t even sound human anymore. The voice was strangled, shrill, and painful to Dan’s ears.
The brunette bit his lip hard enough to draw blood as he fought back the scream of fear that was in his throat. The creature looked at the camera with glowing green eyes before it started to rip at his door. He could hear the sound of ripping, creaking wood even without his phone. It was echoing through his house.
Suddenly, multiple figures appeared in the background of the Ring camera, slipping in and out of view. Though Dan couldn’t completely see their shape, he immediately felt more at ease. The shapes were small, precise, and made more sense in his mind. Before he could think too hard about what was happening, three foxes were standing behind the mimic on his porch. 
He quickly recognized the fox that was standing in the middle as Phil. Phil was here to save him, just like he had promised. Dan smiled nervously and allowed his tense shoulders to relax a bit. It was as if something in the air had changed like he knew he was safe at last. 
“Don’t watch the camera please Dan, this is not going to be pretty and I don’t need you being more afraid than you already are.” Phil’s voice came in through his mind, making him shudder.
He sighed in annoyance, tempted to watch what was happening just to spite Phil. Though, he had a feeling that he didn’t want to see what was about to happen. From what Phil had written in his journal, the foxes outside were about to “destroy” the mimic, and Dan didn’t want to think about what that meant. He quickly closed out of the Ring app and set his phone down beside himself. 
After what felt like hours, he heard soft footsteps heading toward him, sending a nervous shiver up his spine.
“It’s just me Dan. We got rid of it. My family went back home, but I’m going to stay with you for now, if that’s alright.” Phil explained gently.
Dan peeked his head out from underneath his blanket and looked Phil up and down, not trusting what he was seeing, “how do I know you’re not one of those fucking mimic things? You might not even be the real Phil!” he accused quickly, not caring how ridiculous he might sound. 
“I’m the real Phil little dove, now, I’m going to stay with you to make sure you’re safe. It’s up to you if I stay inside with you or go back outside.” Phil’s voice answered in Dan’s mind, helping the brunette relax more.
“I
 sorry. I guess I’m in shock or something.” Dan whispered sheepishly, biting on his thumbnail, “You can stay inside. The weather is still gross and yeah
” 
Phil nodded and sat on the floor, looking up at Dan wordlessly and taking notice of the book that was still sitting open beside the brunette. Dan glanced between the book and Phil, suddenly feeling like a child who had been caught taking a cookie before dinner. He felt like he did something wrong, though he had been told to read the journal. It still felt as though he had overstepped. A question suddenly popped into his head, now that his fear had all but disappeared. 
“Phil, I read your entry about the mimics, and it said something about me not knowing my role in your life. What does that mean?” Dan asked, looking directly into Phil’s eyes.
A soft chuckle left Phil’s chest as he stared right back at Dan, “I had a feeling you would ask. Well, I knew you would ask I suppose. You, Daniel, are my muse.” he explained calmly.
Dan raised an eyebrow, “so I inspire you?” he asked, feeling unimpressed. 
Phil fully laughed at his response, shaking his head, “No, I mean yes, you do inspire me. You’re the most beautiful person I have ever seen, the most gorgeous soul I will ever know, but that’s not what a muse is for someone like me.” 
He took a deep breath before suddenly appearing on the bed next to Dan, nervously linking their hands together. At first, Dan was sure that he imagined the electric hum that formed between their fingers, blaming the sudden unexpected warmth. Then he saw the glowing light around their clenched palms. It reminded him of a flickering candle, but larger, more intense. It let off a warmth like he had never felt before. The feeling of the glow was so hot that it should’ve burned him, but it didn’t. All he could feel was comfort, relief even. He felt more whole than he could even imagine.
“That is what it means for you to be my muse. My magic is stronger than anyone in my family, stronger than anyone that we Lesters have met as well. But when I’m with you, our magic combines, and we both become even stronger.” Phil whispered, looking into Dan’s eyes with a blush on his cheeks.
Dan stuttered before shaking his head at Phil. “I’m not a magic user Phil. No Howell has ever had magic before, it’s literally a part of branding with the shop. Magic is hereditary, I can’t have it.” 
“Oh, but you do. It’s very strong as well. Not all magic is hereditary love, some magic is gifted. You’ve had magic since the day that you marked yourself with the knife. The same knife that you saw in your dream. The same knife that left what you call a birthmark on your thigh.” Phil hummed, loosening his grip on Dan’s hand in case he wanted to let go.
Dan surprised himself when he clung onto Phil’s hand, pulling the man closer. “If I actually have magic, how come I’ve never felt it before?” He asked sternly. 
Phil smiled softly, but it didn’t meet his eyes, “You hate magic. You’ve seen how it hurts people, how it can make even the nicest people fall into darkness. I know you lost your best friend to magic. That’s why you don’t trust anyone who has magic. You’ve never tried to use it beffore Dan, that’s why you didn’t know.” he explained, rubbing Dan’s back. 
“Please don’t bring her up
 it hurts too much.” Dan whimpered, turning away from the man beside him, “I don’t have magic. I’m not strong enough to have that kind of power, it would destroy me. I would destroy everything around me. I would hurt people that I love. I don’t trust myself enough as it is! Why did you have to come and make my life so confusing? Life used to make sense, and then you brought magic into the mix! I hate you. I wish you never came around!” Dan yelled, tearing his hand away from Phil’s and burying his face into his arms. 
He wasn’t angry at Phil, not really, but his emotions were just overflowing, with nowhere to go. The room was silent for a moment, and Dan wondered if Phil had left him alone. As much as he truly wanted Phil to leave, the thought of him leaving made Dan’s heart ache. Why was this so damn confusing? He wiped the tears in his eyes angrily, ignoring the fact that Phil was chuckling. 
“What the fuck are you laughing at?!” Dan demanded angrily, closing his eyes again.
Phil laughed even louder, holding his sides as he did, “Look down and you’ll see.” he challenged. 
Dan groaned and opened his eyes, turning to glare at Phil but only seeing the wall beside him. He gasped and quickly looked down, realizing that he was floating above his bed. “What the hell? Put me down!” He yelled, waving his hands anxiously in the air. 
“I would love to, but I’m not doing anything. It’s all you love.” Phil explained, humor still leaking into his voice. 
Dan rolled his eyes and took in a deep breath, trying to calm himself down. He thought of all of the times he had gotten so in his head that he had felt like he was floating like he couldn’t ground himself. Was it possible that he had actually been floating those times as well? He took another calming breath, stretched his arms above his head, and closed his eyes. This couldn’t be real. 
“Love, open your eyes,” Phil ordered gently, watching Dan for a reaction. 
Dan huffed and opened his eyes, sleepiness wrapping itself around his brain. He quickly realized that he was once again sitting on his bed, nearly leaning on Phil. He rubbed his lips together nervously while looking into Phil’s eyes, “I really just did that, didn’t I?” He asked though he knew the answer. 
Phil nodded and rubbed small circles on Dan’s back, “Yes, you did. Look, it’s been a weird night. You should sleep, I know you’re exhausted. I will answer the rest of your questions tomorrow, okay?” 
Dan nodded and closed his eyes again, letting himself slide onto his back, his head hitting his pillow softly, “You’re not leaving right? The spare room is just down the hall, you can make yourself at home. Just
 please don’t leave me.” He begged pathetically, his voice thick with sleep.
“I wouldn’t dream of leaving you. Never again little dove. Now, sleep. You need it.” Phil whispered, pushing Dan’s fringe away from his forehead and planting a soft kiss on his forehead, smiling when Dan sighed contentedly and dozed off.
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radical-l0ver · 1 month ago
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donnieisonfire · 4 days ago
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Dan from Law,
Phil from Media & Editing
is that how it goes? it’s been so long i forgor

hey poo poos. its been a while, huh
i know, i know, i said i’d publish this the FIRST OF DECEMBER
but ya boy was a bit busy, gimme a breaaaak. anyways
here with a longer chapter to make up for it. enjoy. no smut. just a buncha gay boys and angst. as usual, tags under the cut :3
AO3 LINK
MASTERLIST OF THE CHAPTERS
jump scare, heart eyes howell
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Basically just fluff, a bit of angst. Mentions of Dan being outted, Dan having a sliiight panic attack?, Phil is allergic asf to cats, ADORABLE CAAATTTSSS, enjoy poo poos xox
Dan and Phil had exchanged numbers after around 30 minutes of talking on Grindr. Dan was just managing to wrap his head around the fact that fucking Phil was some variation of queer. Then, Phil proposed they meet up. For a date. Phil wanted Dan. Whether it was romantic or platonic, Dan was never going to reject that.
It was around midday by now, a little too late to go to a cafĂ© because of the daylight savings, so they arranged to meet somewhere called ‘La Chat’. It was some French cat cafĂ©, something that Dan couldn’t afford, but he’d be damned if he didn’t dig into his savings for this “date” with Phil. This might be his only opportunity.
Phil had been texting Dan about how he’d “have to slam back 10 antihistamines" because he’s allergic, but that he didn't mind because he would "rather die than not visit a cat cafĂ© at all possible opportunities.’’
So, Phil was taking Dan out on yet another coffee date, and he didn't care about the fact that he was going to be sniffling the entire time. And goddamnit, Dan didn’t care either.
The next day, Dan woke up, showered, put on his ugliest knitted sweater as he thought it would beautifully fit the theme (it did) and some fuck ass jeans that most definitely didn’t fit him but were the only pair on his floor that weren’t, like, completely dirty, and then drove towards the cafe.
When he was in the shower earlier that same morning, he had debated not straightening his hair but leaving it, keeping it natural. That’s what his mother always used to say, ‘Girls want you naturally, Daniel’, but he quickly shot down the idea. What did his mother know? Anyway, no girl ever wanted him, naturally or not, so he decided on straightening his hair down. It was all he knew, after all.
His heart was pounding the entire time while he drove, his head a mess and his forehead just a ‘tiny’ bit sweaty, which only helped to slick his hair down to be even more pinstraight, even if it looked a little unnatural.
Maybe, in Dan’s dream world, when Phil and him had been together for a few months, he would let him see his hair. The way it looked just so shockingly different curled, how his fringe looked shorter when he didn’t use his shitty poundland-fake version of a GHD straightener to burn his hair to a crisp. Maybe, if Phil didn’t up and leave after a week or so of Daniel’s messed up self -- his self esteem issues, his bi-weekly existential crises’, his problems with procrastination despite his perfectionist mindset -- maybe he’d let Phil in. Maybe, just maybe, he’d let Phil see him, the imperfection of his hair caused by the years of heat damage.
Possibly.
–
Dan’s shitty ford fiesta slows down to a stop a few feet away from ‘La Chat’. Well, where maps said it was anyway. Dan had never come down this part of London, this was the ‘fancier’ part of London. It wasn’t ever really in Dan’s price range, and it was about a 20 minute diversion from the only route he went out in his car (his commute to work), so he had never seen the street the cafe was down, didn’t even recognise the name of the street, let alone know his own way to the cafe.
Dan was apprehensive to get out of his car, and, momentarily, he felt trapped. Trapped within a 1.1 tonne lump of pissing metal. Trapped within a moving death machine, but it felt safe. Safer than going outside, safer than going into that cafe. Safer than the possibility that Phil would stand him up. Safer than the fact this might’ve all been a lie, that the same thing that happened in Wokingham when he was 17 would repeat, that everyone would find he’s
whatever he is, gay, queer, it didn’t matter. He wanted to keep this a secret, a thing he would keep locked away until the guilt of it all was overpowered by stupid lust, until he didn’t care. But Phil, the mere idea of Phil, made that guilt slowly dissipate.
He took a large breath and refused to let it leave until he stepped out the car. After about 4 seconds, he climbed his awkwardly lanky body out of his shitty fiesta and he exhaled. It would be okay. Phil seemed nice, the idea of Phil and coffee seemed concrete, correct. In his mind, if Phil really wanted to stand him up, then he would pick somewhere shittier, - a bar, possibly - a place Phil wouldn’t regularly go to, not a cafe. Dan didn’t know a lot about Phil, but he knew he liked - loved - coffee.
Dan took a few steps, then he saw one of those foldable chalkboards with a ginger cat drawn in chalk with ‘’Sandwich + Milkshake for £12 every Tuesday, 4-6’’ next to it, written in blue chalk.
And then, without even having to look up and see the ‘Le Chat’ sign above the cafe and its large windows, he knew he was in the correct place. Expensive food, expensive drinks, shitty deals.
He looks up, still at least 5 steps from the door. His heart pounded even harder than it already was, from leaving the safe confines of his car, when he saw Phil in one of the booth’s near the window. He intently watched Phil for a few moments, watching – studying – what he did when he was alone.
Phil stood up inside the cafe, walking towards the male bathrooms. Dan watched him sneeze once, then again, then bump into a tall woman, wearing the ‘La Chat’ uniform, with a sandwich in her arms on a plate. The woman proceeded to drop the plate and Phil was apologising, while he continued to sneeze. A cat jumped atop of his table, poking its paw innocently in his cup, getting cat hair all in his coffee.
The whole scene was chaotic, yet it calmed Dan’s nerves as he stepped closer to the cafe. Chaos was regular for Dan, calmed him, made the world feel a bit more real, less worrying. Phil might be able to possibly size up to how chaotic he was. Possibly. Probably not, but possibly.
Dan watches as Phil stumbles off to the bathroom. He walks into the Cafe, hearing a little dingle above him from a bell attached to the door. No one looks over, relievingly. Except a waitress, the same waitress that Phil had knocked over.
‘’Hello. Do you need a seat?’’ She says. Dan shakes his head, ‘’No, I’m meeting someone. They’re already here. Thanks.’’ Dan internally cringed and slapped himself for saying ‘They’re’ instead of ‘he’s’. He was trying to get over the embarrassment of being gay, or whatever he was, and fixing small bits in how he spoke was a step in that direction; it just wasn’t that easy. At all.
The woman nods and walks into the back of the kitchen, presumably to ring in another sandwich to replace the one Phil had made her drop. Dan walks towards the booth that Phil `had been sitting at. There was a ginger cat on the table, splayed out, belly-up to the ceiling.
“God, I’d love to be a cat for a day.” A familiar voice spoke behind him as he sat down at the booth. He turned his head to his left, and there was Phil. Dan flashes Phil his most ‘I didn’t nearly cry in the car over here’ smile, which ended up being an awkward smile, but it got his whole ‘I’m happy to be here’ idea across, which was what he wanted.
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phanfictioncatalogue · 1 month ago
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(TW) Mental Illness (Not Anxiety or Depression) Masterlist
After the Storm (ao3) - orphan_account
Summary: Dan survived the car crash, but he has to relive it every night in his nightmares. Luckily, he has Phil to comfort him.
alone (ao3) - dnovep
Summary: "There’s a light flashing in his room and it takes Dan a little time to work out that it’s the light from his digital clock flashing against the walls. Bright blue light on light brown, there, gone, there, gone, there, gone."
Canon-divergent 2009 fic feat. bipolar!Dan, based off my own bipolar.
And I Believe In A Crystal Light (ao3) - slytherclaw13
Summary: The days when he's up are the best days.
blink and he’s there (ao3) - orphan_account
Summary: Dan’s barely scraping by at uni due to his schizophrenia. When Phil misses a class, he asks Dan to help him with what he missed.
borderline (ao3) - orphan_account
Summary: dan has been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder for a few years now. what happened in 2012 seems to come back, though this time is ten times worse.
Deteriorating (ao3) - orphan_account
Summary: Dan starts running earlier in the mornings and there’s a different barista at his favorite coffee shop who turns out to be exactly what he needs.
Don't Leave Me (ao3) - phanmindpalace
Summary: Dan suffers from PTSD. He has a flashback whilst at Phil’s apartment and Phil finds him on the bathroom floor shaking and sobbing. Comfort and fluff ensues.
Fictitious (ao3) - soundsofmymind
Summary: Daniel Howell was admitted to the mental hospital because of early childhood PTSD. While there he meets Phil, another patient and his only friend. From that friendship blooms a beautiful romance. But, one day Dan wakes up without his beloved Phil. He must find out where he went.
hatchet (ao3) - dnovep
Summary: Dan is 24 and stable for the first time in his adult life. Is it worth potentially unsettling his carefully balanced life to see Phil again? Will Phil even want to see him?
How many calories? (ao3) - Hannah2003
Summary: Dan becomes anorexic after a innocent comment phil makes.
I Didn't Know I Was Broken (Until I Wanted to Change) (ao3) - slytherclaw13
Summary: I’m going to get better, he thinks to himself. I want to get better.
it gets better (ao3) - orphan_account
Summary: Phil will happily take any amount of PDA from Dan. Granted, it’s not usually a lot when they’re out and about, but sometimes there’s a sneaky peck on the lips when there’s absolutely no one about, or the casual hand hold if they’re in a more remote place. More intimate things are reserved for the privacy of their own home. But when they’re stuck on a stupidly crowded tube carriage, standing in at least three different stranger’s personal bubbles at the same time, Phil’s holding onto the closest pole for his life, with Dan desperately clutching onto his arm like a newborn koala.
It gives him a warm fuzzy feeling. But it fades when he remembers how much Dan must be struggling in that moment.
Dan has obsessive compulsive disorder.
Pullback Car (ao3) - ellisonavenue
Summary: A drabble on why Dan and Phil occasionally hold hands in public.
Snow Song (ao3) - ThingsThatRuinedMyLife
Summary: I was following the pack,
all swallowed in their coats.
With scarves of red tied 'round their throats.
To keep their little heads from falling in the snow,
and I turned 'round and there you go.
And Michael, you would fall and turn the white snow red as strawberries in the summertime.
Someday (ao3) - philsdrill
Summary: “Everyone had a link with their soulmates, some could hear some of their partners thoughts, some had a tattoo that would appear with their partners name; for me, I knew when they got sick.” For a while Phil has thought that his soulmate might have an eating disorder and doesn’t expect to meet him in the restaurant where he works.
tell me it's okay (ao3) - yoongioss
Summary: Phil was awake and Phil was making food and Phil made things slightly better.
The Mirror Is a Lie (ao3) - orphan_account
Summary: Dan Howell suffers from a long term eating disorder and body dysmorphia. Here’s how it plays out through the years.
The Perfectionist (ao3) - apoetacriminal
Summary: Dan and Phil were on top of the world. With the succesful release of their book and their upcoming tour, things couldn’t be going better for the pair. But with so much attention on him, the preassure to be perfect was starting to get to Dan. And The Amazing Tour Is Not On Fire, which should’ve been the best time of their lives, almost tore them apart
Those People Really Need Support Right Now (ao3) - slytherclaw13
Summary: His brain isn’t fighting against him-it’s fighting alongside him.
trapped behind those pretty blue eyes (ao3) - orphan_account
Summary: AmazingPhil's channel has always been filled with stories about strange people he's met or other bizarre little occurrences. He's a magnet for the unusual. It makes sense, in a lot of ways, as he's unusual himself. He's always been an imaginative person, and maybe that was why I never noticed. I knew Phil as this incredible, happy, brilliant, amazing man and maybe that was my problem. I'd spent so much of my life idolizing him that I struggled to see the cracks forming in his foundation. I don't know... I don't know if I'll ever be able to post this but I just need to talk.
Or, Dan recalling Phil's spiral.
Unraveling (ao3) - princejoohoney
Summary: Dan knew he was different from other children very early on. He never lost his 'imaginary friends', they only became a more integral part of his life. Living with his illness is never easy and with a secret as large as his, cracks are bound to appear. While he isn't ashamed of his DID, he knows the consequences of telling the wrong people.
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manchesterau · 3 months ago
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stop the world i wanna get off with you
pairing: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
rating: mature (for now lol)
word count: 2.7k
summary:
A domestic night in the life of Phil the vampire and Dan the witch.
tags: Vampire Phil Lester, Witch Dan Howell, Magic, Blood Drinking, Domestic Fluff
part 1 of a night in the life of the Vampire Phil Lester and his witch companion Daniel
click here to read on ao3
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pixel-players · 5 months ago
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chapter 4 !!
something cute bc it’s about to be worse for dan after this
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good luck, babe!
a dan and phil au
( lawyer!dan x streamer!phil )
dan meets his new neighbor, and it doesn’t take long before feelings he thought he had buried come bubbling back to the surface.
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lunarwritesthings · 1 year ago
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☆—! REQUEST INFORMATION !—☆
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→ Please check my pin to see if requests are open.
→ Please put if you want it to be an "x reader" fic or an oc will be used.
→ The more detail in the request is best as it can help me write the fic!
→ Don't be afraid to ask about certain things in the fic
→ Don't be afraid to request people who aren't on my "who I'll write" list. I don't have the best memory, so not everyone is there!
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☆— What I will & Won't Write —☆
→ I will not write about self-harm, eating disorders, or anything that is in that realm.
→ Fluff & angst only. I will not write smut as it makes me uncomfortable to write.
→ Most angst is fine except for anything that involves heavy blood or any serious topic.
→ Any kind of relationship such as male x male, male x female, genderfluid x male/female is fine.
→ I will write about family even if it's not by blood and just by people being a specific family figure.
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☆— Who I'll Write For —☆
Wrestlers
Christian Cage
Jeff Hardy
Edge
Undertaker (all versions)
Musicians and Bands
Ryan Ross
Dallon Weeks
Noah Sebastian
Corpse Husband
My Chemical Romance
Gerard Way
Mikey Why
Frank Iero
Ray Toro (platonically)
Black Veil Brides
Andy Biersack
Lonny Eagleton
Christian Coma (Cc)
5 Seconds of Summer
Luke Hemmings
Ashton Irwin
Michael Clifford
Content Creators
Daniel Howell
Markiplier
Jacksepticeye
Corpse Husband
Sam and Colby
Shows and Movies
Julie and The Phantoms
Luke Patterson
Alex Mercer
Reggie Peters
Heartstopper
Nick Nelson
Charlie Springs
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dnpunredacted · 6 months ago
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tag index
quick little reference for tags that i use on this blog. this list will be added too and you can requests tags either for you to easily mute or for easy access
father philip- #fp
sister daniel- #sd
sister daniel/father philip- #fp + sd
dan howell- #dh
phil lester- #pl
dan howell/phil lester- #dh + pl
tropes
hurt/comfort
fluff
angst
sickfic
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itsbycallapie-blog · 6 years ago
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𝕕𝕒𝕟 𝕙𝕠𝕹𝕖𝕝𝕝 𝕗𝕝𝕩𝕗𝕗 [𝕛𝕩𝕞𝕡]
You lied down and snuggled into Dan's chest. You were laying next to him in your shared bed while he lovingly read you a child's Winnie the Pooh book. Of course, while his obsession over the fictional character was adorable, you had never really understood his love for Pooh. Tigger had always been, and most likely always will be, your favourite.
"Dan, why is Pooh always your favourite? Tigger is obviously the best character," you said quietly, trying your best to not interrupt Dan's reading. 
"Well, look at him! He's a cute little bear who wears a cute little shirt, and he lives in a cute little treehouse. I mean, come on! Who doesn't like cute bears with cute shirts and cute homes?" Dan replied as a crooked smile creeped onto his face.
"Me, Dan. Me. Tigger is the best because he's so unique! At least Pooh has family, while Tigger is 'the only one.'" You sat up from Dan's chest slightly. "You have to feel bad for him!"
"Well, make up your mind! Is Tigger actually your favourite or do you just pity him?" Dan raised a single eyebrow and smirked as you thought quietly to yourself.
"Okay, I pity him. I guess Tigger isn't my favourite." You sat up slightly more and pecked Dan's lips slightly. "Just keep reading, I guess I'll find out who's my favourite character by the end of the story."
"Yeah, you better make up your mind. And if your answer isn't Winnie, I'll break up with you, kick you out, and leave you to live on the streets. 'Kay?" Dan tried to hold his completely serious face, but chuckled slightly to himself.
"Yeah, yeah, Dan. Just read the friggin story?"
Dan smiled and wrapped his arms tightly around you while also holding the book. He continued to read with absolutely no emotion. It was actually very boring. But of course, you couldn't tell Dan thought. But the more you thought about it, the more you realized he was doing it on purpose. 
You leaned your head against Dan's shoulder and he rested his head upon yours. You felt enough at peace to fall asleep then and there, but you knew you couldn't while he was reading. Every few minutes you would feel your eyes slowly close, but you would mentally pry them open to stay awake. 
Finally, though, you couldn't find the energy to keep them open. Your eyes slowly shut as you kissed Dan's shoulder. He kissed the top of your head and slowly stood up, making sure to carefully lay you on his bed. After he was fully up, he pulled back his grey and black duvet and placed your legs underneath it before pulling the comforter back over your body. He sat on the end of the bed, placing your head on his lap before leaning back and quickly falling asleep.
You woke up and discovered your bed was empty other than you. You wondered where Dan went.
That was when you smelled your favourite Delia Smith pancakes.
You jumped up of out of bed, not caring how terrible your hair looked, and rain to the kitchen. You, being the klutz you are, ran into the practically invisible kitchen door.
Dan laughed at you from the other side. You stuck out your tongue playfully before opening the door and sitting down at the kitchen island. Dan pulled out a plate and placed three neatly stacked pancakes upon it. You ate them quickly before you remembered something.
"Dan, I just reme-" You began, before Dan cut you off.
"Hey, I just remembered that you never decided who your favourite character from Winnie the Pooh was," Dan looked very eager to hear your response.
You giggled slightly. "Funny, I was just about to say that. But yeah-I have officially, and permanently, decided that Pooh is my all time favourite fiction character." You smiled at Dan as he walked over to you, intertwining his fingers with yours.
"See, I knew you would choose him. This is why he's the best character," Dan chuckled.
"Wait, actually. Dan, why is Winnie your favourite?" You knew Dan had another reason why, but you never actually asked him what it was.
Dan walked over to you and kissed you sweetly. "You're always so generous to others, and you love honey. You also love Tigger. Well, I'm not so sure about that any more. That's why I always love it when you wear your pastel Winnie the Pooh shirt. He reminds me of you."
"I always liked Tigger because he reminds me of you Dan. You're so wild, but you'd go out of your way to do something for me or Phil. So I suppose that's why I didn't really understand why he was your favourite. But I still love you, Dan." You smiled shyly.
"I love you too."
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phannotfound · 2 years ago
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DNF OR DNP WHO CAN TELL ANYMORE ?!!!!
Dnf snap on a Ferris wheel?
Please? Please? Please?
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damnsammmmfics · 6 years ago
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Mess Her Up
A/N: so i highly suggest you listen to the song before/during reading this
Song(s) Used: Mess Her Up - Amy Shark
Pairing: Dan x Female Reader
Genre: angst
Started: 26/7/2018 2:43am
Finished: 26/7/2018 3:23am
Word Count: 882 words
Your P.O.V
It's the little white lies that keep us awake It's the long drive home that makes people talk
I've always been scared to do a lot of things. Skydiving? Yes. Bungee Jumping? Hell Yes. Coming out to the entire world that I'm dating the most perfect boyish man in the world? I honestly didn't think I would ever be scared to declare my love for somebody, but the more I think about having to come clean about a relationship I've been in, it terrifies me a little more each time.
Dan and I have been dating for about 3 months now, so the relationship is relatively new, and because we're in the honeymoon stage of our relationship, we have been reckless. People have started catching onto the fact that there's something going on between us, but no matter how much we lie and say that none of it is true, people continue to speculate, and they speculate even more.
It's the fear in our hearts that give us away It's the playful fight in the swimming pool I still think of you.
All of those lies that we tell everyone almost everyday keep me awake at night, scared of what they might think when we do officially come out as a couple. Will they accept me as Dan's girlfriend? Will they hate me? Will they like me? How many death threats will I receive? How many insults will be thrown my way? How many times will I be accused of ruining Phan? Every single day, all of these questions are all I think about.
And no matter how much we lie, there's always proof. The long drive homes back to each others flats, The long goodbyes in public spaces, like the airport of the park, it's the playful fight Dan and I had in a swimming pool when we first started dating.
I'm just so scared of telling everyone about our relationship, and not only getting attacked by hoards of fangirls on my social media, but also ruining my relationship with Dan, but I know that the longer we keep this facade up, the more we break our relationship; and I would rather have angry fangirls attack me and call me horrible names, than have my relationship ruined because we were scared of said fangirls.
It's the long goodbyes that give us away It's the song that comes on and hurts the most But the high notes get the best of you.
"Do you really think we should tell them? Do you really think this is a good idea?" Dan asks, just as terrified as I am about coming clean with our relationship.
"No, I don't think it's a good idea, but what we're doing to them is hurting us, and we need to come clean, because I can't keep lying awake at night and having our lies eating away at me when there's already so much proof." I confess. Dan looks at me, like he's defeated; and then looks at the ground, contemplating his next actions
Some say that we'll be over before we've begun And i can't let it be over, I've gotta have one
"Have you seen what they've been saying though? They're saying that we're going to be over before we even come clean, and I'm so scared that once we do tell the truth it will just cause so many problems between us, and I can't let that happen to us." Dan confesses, and in all honesty, I feel the exact same way.
Listen to you love like crazy Time should make this easy
"But have you seen what keeping it from everyone has been doing to us? It's tearing us apart more than any angry comments or fangirls. Time should make this easy, or easier at least." I try to reason with Dan, and I can tell by his demeanor he knows that I'm right.
Dan sits up, mulling over his thoughts for a few minutes, thinking of his next words, and his next steps.
Alright, i'm ready to shake things up
"Okay, you're right, this is eating away at us, we need to tell them. If you're ready to do this, we'll tell everyone officially in a couple of days."
Dear god, this is really gonna mess her up
The only thought that ran through my head was 'dear god, this is really going to mess you up.' and I can't help but subconsciencly pray that I would be able to get through this, despite the fact that it was my idea, because this is really, really, really going to mess me up, and going through all of this, is a lot for love; but for Dan, every hurdle thrown my way is worth it.
And I keep on praying that I'm strong enough It's a lot for love, it's a lot for love.
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homo-terezi · 7 years ago
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Dan and Phil AND Dogs// June
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dandptrashbag · 7 years ago
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Sick Day Imagine
I’m stuck at home with the flu today (send help) so here’s an Imagine about how the boys would each take care of you if you were sick.
Phil:
Lots of tea with honey. Like almost too much tea. As soon as you finished a mug full he would insist on making you more.
Lots of cuddles. He wouldn’t care about the possibility of getting sick. And while he would feel awful about you feeling poorly he would also be happy that he gets to spend time with you all day.
The two of you only eating ice cream all day. You because your throat hurt too badly to eat anything else but he would just be happy to have an excuse to eat only ice cream.
Watching cartoons in bed. You’d have a Steven Universe marathon.
Dan:
When he asks how you’re feeling you jokingly say you think you might actually die and he replys with “you’re so lucky”
Him getting the idea to try to make homemade chicken noodle soup and it’s the sweetest idea in the world but it ends up being awful.
He’d insist on canceling all of his plans right away to be with you. Even an important work meeting. “Work can wait. We just need to get you feeling better”
He’d think the way you sneeze is hilarious and cute. And he would try to imitate your sneeze to make you laugh.
Now someone please send me a Dan and Phil to take care of me today
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notsosaucystuff · 2 months ago
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All of these are on AO3. Anything in purple is my personal notes.
Come along by ottertrashpalace
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Summary: In medieval England, a young knight rides north, sent to serve at the court of the quiet young Duke of Lancaster.
If I had to choose one favorite phanfic of all time it would be this one. The writing is brilliantly done and everything is worded as if it were historical fiction or an old fairy tale. It reminds me a lot of Ella enchanted due to the setting and medieval/fairy tail aspect.
The Pianist Everyone Is Talking About... Is My Husband by natigail
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Summary: YouTuber pianist Daniel James Howell is thrown into mainstream media's awareness with the release of his first album. Phil works at BBC Radio 1, who increasingly play Dan's songs more and more often, and he couldn't be prouder of his husband. However, no one knows that Dan and Phil are married as they have chosen to keep their relationship private.
By accident, Phil is thrust into his husband's fandom when his colleagues learn that he likes the pianist. Phil isn't sure how to tell everyone that he's actually married to the guy everyone is either praising or swooning over.
*Best Chaptered Fic for Phanfiction Awards 2018*
Absolutely love the flow of this story. It's set in an alternate universe and the fandom is very realistic.
read between the lines (i will if you will) by Ablissa
Rating: Mature
Summary: Phil ^_^ (5:31 PM)
Dan?
danisNOTonfire xD i swear im really not. come check. (5:31 PM)
yeah?
Phil ^_^ (5:32 PM)
I think I'm in love with you
I just
I can't wait to meet you
--
Skype conversations between Dan and Phil, leading up to their first meeting. 2009!Phan. Prepare for fluff.
Although this story is mostly fluff, there are some dips which when I was reading at 3:00 a.m. made me cry.
all the memories i hold dear by Ablissa
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Summery: "It's not really our anniversary, though," Dan reasons against his own will.
"It's one of our anniversaries," Phil argues.
Dan snorts. "Yeah, one of like, ten."
"Four," Phil corrects him, fondness seeping from his voice.
--
Nine years after meeting Phil for the first time, Dan thinks it's alright that they'll be spending October 19th apart.
But is it really?
(companion piece to read between the lines (i will if you will).
I loved to see how their relationship matured from the last fic. Very cute
Origins of the Phass Inflation Post (Dan and Phil in Greece) by EverythingIsAsItWas
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Summary: Dan and Phil rarely take vacations just for themselves, vacations in which they make no content, do not work, and simply enjoy each other's company. Going to Greece feels like the perfect opportunity for this, but Phil also thinks it's the perfect opportunity for a video... and Dan likes being a little shit.
It's the little moments in this fic that piece it together. The small glimpses at their lives in this story when they are on their vacation really sell hard on how beautifully they work together.
Christmas at the Lester's by trashcanfromgallifrey
Rating: General Audiences
Summary: Inspired by Dan and Phil telling us about the pre-christmas visit at Phil’s parents<3
A quite fluffy fic that also goes into themes of finding safety in Phil’s family when they were closeted.
slutville, population two by dvp_95
Rating: Explicit
Summary: Dan and Phil both have reputations for sleeping around. Their friends don't think they could hold down a relationship if they wanted to. Sounds like a challenge to them.
In Dan's defense, tequila makes anything seem like a good idea.
Dan has a repressed crush on Phil, there are very well written original characters, I never knew what to expect and loved every turn.
everyone i need to be distracted with fics recommend me fics NEOW
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cy4658-writes · 7 years ago
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27. Rollercoaster
°Your POV°
My alarm started ringing announcing the beginning of one hell of a week.
With my eyes still closed, I patted the left side of the bed. Dan was not there anymore.
I would be lying if I said I didn’t feel a tad sad that he decided to leave before I woke up.
Jumped off bed and went to the bathroom to have a quick shower and start my morning routine before making myself some breakfast.
As I was rinsing my hair, the smell of melting butter and sugar invaded my nostrils.
Was it possible it came from the coffee shop below my apartment building? Wherever it was coming from, it made my stomach growl.
Wrapped my wet hair on a towel and put on my robe; as I opened the bathroom door, the scent was more intense.
No way! I thought to myself.
I poked my head over the counter and there he was Dan on his flannel pajama pants and a black t-shirt. Humming AND cooking.
He didn’t hear me come out of the shower; maybe he didn’t even notice I was awake yet.
-Excuse me. I cleared my throat. What are you
.?
-Pancakes! Didn’t you say yesterday you much rather be waken up with this over music? He said without even facing me, fully focused on the stove.
-I remember saying something about a kiss too. I giggled.
-Well I’m kind of busy at the moment. He turned his head towards me shooting me a smile.
I walked towards him and wrapped my arms around his waist, leaning my head on his back.
-This smells delicious. I don’t recall ever having pancakes before.
-I know! You didn’t have anything I could have used to make them. I had to go to my flat and ransack our fridge.
-Sorry! I’m pretty basic when it comes to breakfast. Coffee, toast and I’m on my way.
-I can tell. Why don’t you go get dress before you get sick again? Not that I mind the robe at all. He said with a wink.
I cupped his cheeks on my hands and planted a small kiss before heading to my room.
It didn’t take me that long to get dressed as I already knew what I was going to wear so I used the few extra minutes to put on some light makeup. There wasn’t much time to do a full face so I limited it to some foundation, concealer, and loose powder to set it all; A hint of blush and mascara.
I made it back to the kitchen and found Dan already seated in one of the stools.
Our food was served, a few pancakes for each of us, a glass of orange juice and a cup of coffee.
-Oh my god, this smells delicious. Thank you.
-Don’t thank me until you’ve tried them. He smiled.
We ate our breakfast as we talk a little. I’m telling you, it was the best breakfast I had in a long while and the fact that Dan made it for me, made it taste even better.
I caught myself staring at him a few times; he probably noticed but was too focused on his food to even say something to me.
I liked the view almost as much as the way that he made me feel. I liked him, I really did. It was bizarre, as I don’t tend to grow attached to people I barely know but there was something about Dan that would make you love him even at first glance. Well
technically, at second in my case.
-I really have to get going. I announced as I was taking our dishes to the sink.
-Yeah I know, unfortunately I can’t persuade you stay in, can I?
-I’d love to stay and hang out but I have an office to run, a dress to pick and

-A dress? Like in

-The dress I’ll be wearing to your gala.
­-Oh! Will you show me?
-No way in hell! It’ll be a surprise.
-I normally don’t like surprises but I guess I can live with it for just a few days. Can you at least give me a hint? He said as he put his hands together as he was praying.
-It’s purple.
I grabbed my stuff and before leaving, I put on some perfume.
-I love the smell of it. He said grabbing the bottle
-Thanks. It’s my signature scent. I’ve been wearing the same perfume for 10 years now.
He vowed down and brushed his nose through my neck so as to fill his lungs with my perfume and leaving goose bumps all over my body.
-It definitely suits you.
-Stop it, Dan! I said as felt my cheeks turn bright red.
He wrapped his arm around my neck as we walked towards the door.
I locked the door behind me as I turned back to face him. We got lost on each other’s eyes before kissing softly.
-Text me later?
-Pinky promise.
I planted one more peck before the elevator doors shut in front of me.
 ~Time Lapse~
 I was drafting a presentation for Russel as my chat lit up.
Laura:
When are we getting the hell out of here? We have a dress to pick!
You:
Ugh! I haven’t forgotten about that!!! Russel needs some stats for a meeting. I’m half way through it
Laura:
This is more important! Let’s go.
Plus my stomach is growling already
You:
I know, mine too. I haven’t eaten anything since this morning.
Laura:
Oh yeah
.the pancakes <3
Bloody hell, you are lucky.
You:
Oh shut up! Last thing I need right now is to get lost in my thoughts.
Give me 30 and we’ll be on our way.
Laura:
Just 30. Not a minute more.
You:
Yes mom!
I typed as fast as I could. I don’t know if it was because of how nervous I was due to the dress or the fact that I was actually famished.
Saved and sent I said to myself as I clicked the send button on my email.
Grabbed my purse and sprinted over Laura’s spot at the front desk.
-Shall we, madam? I said as I extended my hand
-I thought you would never ask.
We got out of the office and into the tube.
I briefly told her about what happened yesterday after she left during a short coffee break, to say that she was shocked it’s an understatement, so she took it upon herself to interrogate me the entire ride.
A few minutes later, we got off on Covent Garden and walked the few blocks that separated us from the store.
I didn’t realize it was a vintage store which made me extremely happy. I love vintage clothes and thrift shopping.
The place was packed with sequins gowns, long, short, anything you can think of and it was divided by color, which I really appreciated, otherwise, I’d have felt extremely overwhelmed.
I was distracted by a text from my boss for, kid you not, a split second and when I raised my head from my phone, Laura was already diving into the hangers on the purple section.
-FOUND IT!!!! She yelled at me with the dress in hand and a huge smile on her face like if she just won a trophy.
As she approached me, I stared at the size. That’s not even going to fit me I thought to myself.
-Maybe we should contemplate others; I don’t think I will look good on that.
-Oh come on, Y/N! It’s perfect. C’mon, let’s go try it on. She said as she dragged me to the fitting room.
I never met a woman that doesn’t dread a fitting room. I was no exception. I’m mostly happy with my curves, but there is always an icky feeling when I try on clothes.
I peeled off my clothes as I stared myself in the mirror with only my underwear. Took a deep breath and put the dress over my head, making sure I wouldn’t stain it with my makeup.
It fitted and I didn’t look half as bad as I thought I would.
I put on my glasses to have a better look at it and the moment I gazed onto the reflection on the mirror, it downed upon me: I looked nice and I felt pretty.
-C’mon, mate! What’s taking you so long?
I shoved the curtain to a side and stepped out.
Laura just stared at me for a moment.
­-Mate, you look bloody gorgeous!
I smiled as kept on staring at my reflection.
-Ok, I’m taking it! Now, let’s just go and eat before I go all Hannibal Lecter on you.
I got into the small cubicle again so as to get back into my clothes.
-Y/N, your phone is ringing.
-Ugh! I bet is Russel! I bet he still doesn’t understand what I sent him. Can you please pick up for me and tell him I’ll call him right back?
What is it with bosses calling at the worst possible time? I sigh.
-Y/N’s phone, Laura speaking. I heard her as I was struggling to get back into blouse.
-Oh, Hi Daniel! Y/N is in the middle of trying on dresses, would you like to leave her a message?
I immediately poked my head through the curtain, still in my underwear the second I heard Dan’s name.
I started waving my hands and making gestures so she wouldn’t tell him anything about the dress if he asked which he did.
-I’m afraid I can’t tell you, she’ll kill me if I do but I can say one thing for certain
She will look absolutely breath taking.
-SH-SH-SHUT UP, LAURA! I shouted as she started giggling.
-You shut up, it’s the truth! She hissed. I will tell her to text you as soon as she can manage to put on her trousers again. She now burst out laughing.
-Asshole!
She stuck her tongue out.
-Pleasure to talk to you, Dan. By the way, BIG FAN of your videos! Ciao
She proceeded to hung up.
Stepped out and Laura still had my phone on her hands.
-Did I just spoke with THE Daniel Howell?
-You sure did!
-Oh girl! You are so lucky and he is even luckier! You will look amazing that night.
-For the millionth time, shut the fuck up and let’s go eat.
After paying for the dress, we headed out.
Took my phone to check my messages, Dan texted me shortly after Laura ended the call.
Ok, I know I’ve said I could wait but I can’t I want to see you in the dress.
Patience you must have, my young padawan
See you tonight?
I’m going to try. I have rehearsals
Boo! K
text ya later! :*
 As I put down my phone over the table I had a bit of a bitter feeling suddenly. Little did I know that was about to be the last time I spoke to Dan in a while.
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