#damn those are some long ass dogs tbh

[meredoubt]

"Training"

Early, establishing incident for @hyperbali's incredible OC, Aavya'Raan vas Nedas, and my traumatized Paragon, Commander Ze'ev Shepard. Set early in Mass Effect 2. About 5k.

(We've got so much lore, so many little stories in messages. The artwork? Fucking phenomenal, y'all don't even know. Working to compile some of the extended one-shots into something a little easier to access. Absolutely obsessed with these two, tbh, they are so messy over time and so complicated and sooooo goooood)

“What do you mean, you ‘don’t count your shots’?”

“It’s not like I usually resort to guns to solve my problems, Shepard!”

Aavya’Raan vas Nedas flinches as another blast hits the warehouse wall over their head, and concrete dust floats down. Looking around for anything they can use, the quarian blindly lobs a toolkit biotically, in a wide arc over their head. It hits something with enough force that one of the many, many Blue Suns they’re fighting cries out. 

Ze’ev Shepard and his unwinnable damned situations.

Their suit is giving them comically placid warnings about their “alarming spike in heart rate,” and an extremely minor blaster burn they’ll have to patch. Aavya is over it. They have well and truly had it. 

They’ve only been signed on for two weeks, and it’s been non-stop heroic bullshit ever since. Aria T’Loak herself had bothered to negotiate the contract with the Commander, which meant it would be good reliable work. It was supposed to be dangerous, sure, but they’ve known Aria for years, worked with Aria’s contacts more times than they could count. T’Loak is many things-a pain in the ass as a mentor, for one-but she’s always been dependable in the shifting cesspool of Omega. Aavya’s never known her to give them more than they could handle. 

…but maybe the money had made Aavya a little less careful than they should’ve been, or their concern for the Flotilla’s vulnerability to the Collectors had blinded them to a rare bad call. Damn it. Damn it all. 

They shouldn’t have jumped into bed with Cerberus so quickly, that was abundantly clear. Aavya knew they should’ve listened to their instincts. They’d nearly laughed outright and walked out on the spot, of course, given the organization’s actions, but the Commander-

Well. He’s…something else. 

Shepard doesn’t seem like just another Alliance jarhead. They’d been sure he would be; they figured, given the politics, he’d be a nice governable lapdog to someone. Everybody knows what Spectres are really supposed to be like. It’s a job, which means somebody writes his paychecks, so he’s bought. Just a little fancier of an attack dog, for his government or the Council. Simple enough.

Shepard doesn’t seem simple. He might actually mean it.

Doesn’t matter. No Cerberus paycheck is outrageous enough to warrant getting shot at this much. One or two-maybe even three-they could handle without much of a sweat. But this? They couldn’t even lift this many people if they’d had the drop on the mercenaries from the start. And they can’t spend the money if they’re dead. No uptight human is hot enough to put up with these circumstances.

Aavya chances a frantic glance over at said Commander, a scant two feet away. 

Shepard is, infuriatingly, completely at ease.

He’s outmanned, in the middle of a four to one gunfight, but he doesn’t even seem alarmed. The human’s wordlessly exchanging a series of completely unintelligible, but emphatic hand signals across the crates. He doesn’t flinch at the gunfire, at the din. 

Garrus Vakarian-

-and that had been a whole realization for Aavya, learning that Alliance posterboy Shepard was willing to work with, even seemed to like, the Archangel-

The turian shrugs good-naturedly, and cocks his rifle. 

Aavya has no damned idea what they just communicated, but apparently a consensus has been reached. 

Shepard brings up his omnitool, deftly enters a command, and turns slightly in Aavya’s direction, those long legs pushing up against their own. He indicates to someplace beyond cover without looking; he knows the layout. His hand is steady, his tone sure.

“Go get ‘em, girl.”

Aavya doesn’t see his drone drop, but they can hear when it does. Human technology has an entirely different sound to anything in the Fleet; feels different, too, every time they try to tinker with it. They can make it work in a pinch, but it gives them a headache. It’s coming from a completely alien perspective, and that shows up from the top down. 

The drone shoots bullets just the same, though. 

The Commander leans over further into Aavya’s space to be heard, and the quarian tries not to notice.

“Stay down,” Shepard orders loudly over his drone’s gunfire and the confused shouting; about to pull away, he pauses, looks to the scorched part of their suit. The Commander frowns, glances up to their face. “You’ll be okay. We’ll get you out of here.”

Before Aavya can even gather themself to respond, he whistles to Vakarian, and they stand up, rifles handled with practiced ease.

It takes a moment for Aavya to notice what they’re doing (they blame it on the suit warnings, and not on Commander Unattainable’s disarming proximity), as the two exit cover, backing up as they move at a continuous and steady pace, and always away from each other. 

Crossfire. 

Shepard and Vakarian are chillingly effective, thorough; like they’ve done this hundreds of times before. Aavya almost can’t bear the nearly mechanical shots: one high caliber bullet expended, the next a beat later. Clockwork. And the drone whirring away thoughtlessly, in the center of it all. 

The quarian dares a glance over their cover, despite his order, and sees…carnage.

Their stomach churns at the ease of it, the methodical efficiency, the gore. It’s the kind of scene  that, if you crossed it going down a familiar alley towards the Afterlife, you’d turn and run. Everyone on Omega knows the most dangerous place to get caught is in the cleanup of a hit. 

One merc is left, jabbering away, understandably, covered in his associates’ blood.

Shepard holsters his rifle, brings up his omnitool as he saunters towards the man. Aavya knows this is the boss they’ve been chasing; the datapad they’d glanced at around Shepard’s shoulder suggested he might have bribed one of Aria’s usual runners. 

Stupid mistake, they think numbly, jaded. She’d kill you for much less.

The panicked turian suddenly brandishes a pistol on Shepard, trying to stop his approach. He knows he’s not going to get away from whatever Aria has planned for him; knows that his meager chance has slipped away into nothing. The house always wins.

The Commander raises his hands calmly, tries to de escalate, seems almost bored by the threat, even after the turian gives a warning shot that whizzes past Shepard’s head, inches from his greying hair.

But Aavya-

It doesn’t even register when their arm raises. 

Bubbling, rippling, overflowing…the dark energy sparking along every nerve, blossoming through every vein, expelled through their very pores and out through their suit. They know the science intellectually, but it’s more than that. Aria had tersely said it was just a tool, when they’d curiously asked her once, how biotics felt to her. They knew she was lying, in her way; to protect them or herself, they didn’t know. 

Pure will, made manifest. 

It makes so many so afraid. 

The mercenary is choking on his terror, suspended in eezo-thick air, gun clattering uselessly to the metal grating at Shepard’s feet.  

Reckless, he could’ve shot anyone. I should’ve stayed down. Why did I-

But they slowly let out the held breath; become aware that their whole body is shaking with adrenaline. They just survived another gunfight. They finished it, even. 

The mercenary is pleading for his life to anyone who will listen. He has pissed himself. It’s grim, and sad. Vakarian keeps his rifle trained on the babbling Blue Sun, but is already picking up the man’s gun, wincing. 

And the Commander-

Shepard’s face is completely impassive.

His red eyes burn straight through Aavya.  

* * *

He takes them off the duty roster, until they give in to his demands to undergo combat training, at his discretion. 

They stare, unbelieving, at the side of his head, but Shepard does not look up from the message terminal. Companies and contacts still seemed to find him, somehow, even after two years dead. 

He’d shown them once, briefly, on their first day on the Normandy, and it seemed completely overwhelming. The man was inundated with threats, thanks, and decades long Alliance reply threads, and he seemingly viewed them all with the same long-suffering acceptance. Aavya wanted to ask why he didn’t just delete his old profiles and start over, but that seemed…personal. 

Command suits him like a glove, even at ease. Hunched over the terminal in a hoodie, dutifully reading messages, yet his profile is still distracting. Miss Chambers certainly seems to be surreptitiously noticing. 

It all only makes Aavya feel more put-upon by the entire farce of a situation. 

“Come on, Commander,” they croon, a final desperate tactic. Don’t keep me locked up on the ship. “We both know I’m an incredible biotic-one of a kind, even-and the sort’ve person it’s always good to have around. You’ve got grunts. You’ve got people who’ll shoot first, ask questions never. And I’m not without my skills; I can be very good in a fight. Give me a chance to work my magic for you.”

They lay their hand on the console just next to his arm. He at least looks down at it, for a long moment, before flicking his eyes up at them…and moving his arm away. 

“I don’t work with people who don’t do as they’re told, vas Nedas,” he replies flatly, returning his attention to the screen.

Aavya flinches involuntarily, pulls their hand back to fold their arms.

Shepard pauses. He doesn’t look over, but they can tell he noticed. Of course he did. 

“...Aavya. I’m telling you this as your captain: I won’t put any member of my crew in a situation they’re not ready for, and your lack of weapons training will get you killed. I won’t allow it. Dismissed.” 

Aavya knows that’s bullshit. They both do. But they also know better than to actively mouth off to the captain of the ship they serve on-their mother would never get over it-so they just mutter an obscenity in Khelish (they swear they see his lips twitch). They ignore the urge to call him on it, and stalk off to their quarters. 

At first, those first two or three days, they pace. They idylly daydream they’ll actually do something to piss him off deliberately. Aavya knows they won’t, of course; they’re too smart to get stupid. They’ve dealt with captains swinging their proverbial dicks around before. Still, it feels good to briefly pretend they’ll be that foolish, with Jack.

(“...we could fry the systems with your tech-”

“Jack. That man would hunt us for sport.”

“Spectre asshole.”

Aavya leans back against the pillar, and sighs. They glance over at the other biotic miserably; she’s looking over at them from beneath a raised forearm, laying on her cot.

They’d connected almost instantly; had vented before about all number of things, including how hot the Commander’s infuriating self-righteous schtick is. 

Jack barks out a rare caw of a laugh, when they curse.)

So, the plan shifts, to align with…actionable reality.

Collect the absurd paycheck; cruise around on this overpriced (beautiful) joyride (maybe even study it); eat the surprisingly decent food; work on their amp project on Cerberus’ dime-

-and continue to eye Ze’ev Shepard balefully, until he blinks first. 

They start making the effort to be in the CIC when the away squad returns. Aavya lays on the charm a little thicker; asks after any fun details of the adventures of their newfound friends.

And they do make friends, in that light casual way that…doesn’t matter at all. They’re liked enough to be reminded of drink nights, or sat with at meals. They haven’t had to be the center of attention in a very long time, but they still remember how to do a version of it, if they really have to. Being drilled on comportment and control as a child…you don’t forget it. Especially from an admiral. 

Mordin broaches the subject, at one point, in his way, maybe a week into their unplanned vacation aboard the Normandy. The doctor means well, and if anyone on the crew had earned their trust, it’d be the man who cured the plague that had ravaged the undercity of Omega, but his curiosity is unwelcome. 

They don’t really have an answer for him; can’t. Not for anyone who’d ask. They won’t get into their past, ever, if they have a say in it. It’s gone, only present in the agony it engenders when they remember it, and the person who experienced it’s loss…well. They weren’t vas Nedas. 

And anyway, it’s not like they’re being completely insincere; it’s just knowing when to be involved, who to talk to. Aavya knows half the battle is just being present in the Commander’s mind, making sure they’re not just another faceless member of the Normandy’s crew. 

They can do that. They’re good at it. They can weave their arm through Kasumi’s, and jokingly steal a dextro-fry off Garrus’ plate, and crack jokes with all of them, and watch Shepard watching them.

But the Commander never initiates, is never drawn into their web. 

They start to notice how deliberate he is with his time, with his crew. That he is always present, and astonishingly attentive to everyone’s details; but does not often engage.

He doesn’t need to be the center of attention. He simply draws everyone into his orbit, whether he tries or not. He’ll be silent, for long stretches, listening intently; when he opens his mouth to speak, everyone stops to hear. 

It makes it very difficult to get under his skin. To win. 

Eventually, they sigh, and lose. Just so they won’t be bored. 

* * *

He sets course for the Citadel, when they finally give in. 

Shepard’s face is completely neutral, and his tone mild, but his eyes hold a glint to them that proclaims victory. Graciously, he says nothing. 

They hate how attractive smugness makes him. Aavya pushes the feeling down, a little alarmed by its ferocity and inconvenience. It’s not like they have anywhere to put it, the man’s practically a monk. And he’s Shepard. 

But…the Citadel? Not human space? They’d done some feverish research into Alliance training to prepare themself (apparently for nothing), trying to calm their nerves.

Aavya’s playing it cool now, while the two of them are waiting on their shuttle outside C-Sec, but they can acknowledge it privately, in their own head: this feels like a big deal. The quarian’s never been alone with their Commander. They’re a little intimidated, and not just because of the actual session they’re about to endure.

He was getting regularly talked about, even in the Terminus, when he died. Made a splash, had all the pirates and corporations nervous. Even buried as they were at the time, in their own problems, Aavya had heard some version of what he’d accomplished. Not every day someone defends the Citadel, hunts the equally notorious Saren Arterius. Saves the day. 

It was all pretty romantic, enough to make them just a hint shy, maybe. Sure, Aavya was certain a lot of it was fake or overexaggerated. But then…he did look so good and right on the recruitment adverts.  

The Alliance knew it, too, they thought cynically. You couldn’t escape his soundclips to al-Jilani for a while. Which is why they would’ve bet on him setting up some awful ramshackle course in a field, on some human backwater for their training. 

When Aavya hesitantly suggested this during decontamination, Shepard looked at them like they’d grown two heads. It was easily the most emotion they’ve ever seen from him, followed closely by his disapproval when they began to laugh. Loudly.

The Spectres have their own office and training grounds. Who knew. 

“You think the Alliance wants anything to do with me?” Shepard points out, glancing over at them as he swings into the cherry red skycar that pulls up. 

Aavya eyes the vehicle appreciatively, before sliding in. The interior alone is worth more than apartments they’ve lived in, though not any recently, not since working with Aria. It’s a little disgusting, and absolutely gorgeous. They supposed it made sense, given his other ride. 

“I’m surprised the Spectres do, if you’re so much trouble,” they hum playfully.

Shepard’s hands fly across the holo-controls. 

“Mm. But the Spectres count on it. They just find it…politically inconvenient, currently.”

Aavya bites their lip, unseen, watching him as he maneuvers the shuttle smoothly between traffic. “So, if you’re so inconvenient…I mean. The Spectres seem more strict than your human military, surely. Why are they letting you waltz right into their office, and use a bunch of their weapons?”

A muscle in his jaw twitches, almost imperceptibly. “I didn’t even go to the Alliance. But as for the Spectres…as if I’d let them tell me no.”

Aavya turns, sudden, to watch the flashing lights, the life, of the station flash by. The billions of lives he’d saved, maybe. They’d be thinking about that answer too much, the conviction in his voice, otherwise; turning it over in their head when they had so much else to worry about. The upcoming training, if nothing else.

“So…quality time, alone with the Commander. What will the others think, Shepard?” Aavya teases, a little too brightly, after a beat. May as well have fun. 

Ze’ev snorts. “That you’re a terrible shot.”

“I’m a great shot, when the odds aren’t outlandish.”

The Commander doesn’t answer. Aavya knows he heard them. 

* * *

The sheer number of guns Shepard signs out when they sign into the range is daunting.

Aavya eyes the lineup, as he inspects each one, checks the chamber, and lays it carefully on the long bench. It’s overwhelming. They can’t even use most of these. Their nervousness builds in their chest, makes them fidget. The quiet doesn’t help. 

They’d tried to make conversation, but when he seemed to mostly be listening rather than bantering back, intent on his task, it only made the anxiety build. Seeing all this makes it feel like work, makes them feel out of their depth. It starts to really feel like they’re not supposed to be here, with these people, on this mission.

They don’t need him to make them feel that. He was the reason they’d even taken a chance on this stupid thing, to begin with.

Finally, Shepard seems satisfied. He turns towards them, begins shrugging off his jacket. 

Arms, Aavya thinks dully, dutifully. 

“So, ground rules,” he begins. “One, no biotics.” 

He holds up a hand as if to preemptively curtail an argument that wasn’t coming; when it doesn’t, he tilts his head slightly. 

“...interesting.”

Aavya shrugs, smiling ruefully as though he can see it.  “I know what I’m in for.”

“Do you.” There’s challenge there, in his tone, and the slight lift of a dark eyebrow. 

The quarian sighs, and leans against the bench. They look down at the pistols, the only weapon they have any experience with, and gesture, maybe a little dejectedly. 

“Commander…I’m never going to be good with most of the guns you signed out. I don’t have the years of experience with anything here that you’d need. I’m a great shot-truly, when it counts-but we both know where my primary skills lay. It’s why you took me on.”

They make themself look up at him; it causes something in them to flinch, curl away and in. The unguardedness of his expression, in the ease of his body, in his folded arms. The way his eyes rove over a face they know he can’t see.

“So, yes. I understand ‘no biotics.’ Because that’s not why we’re here. I’d tear this room apart, if it was about my…ability to destroy.” 

They almost can’t say this part-it sticks in their throat-and the next part is harder. They can’t meet his gaze, no matter how hard they try. 

“You know I’m capable. You know I prefer biotics, and talking more. This is about the rules themselves. You can’t stand when I struggle to obey.”

Well, they’re in it, now. Aavya runs a finger along the dark countertop, scuffed with use. They brace.

“I won’t,” he says sharp and sudden, and they flinch. He clears his throat, and his voice is less stern. “Tolerate it. It’s about safety, Aavya.”

Shepard hesitates, weighing something.

“I need to be able to trust you to trust my judgement. That’s what we’re struggling with. I take information, interpret it, and make calls, and if you’re with me, that’s what you agree to, alright?”

Aavya nods, small. They sense, hear, him come close. When he speaks again, it’s…not soft, exactly. But it’s earnest. It cares. 

“You listen, and I keep you safe, and between us, we change things for the better. We will save everyone we can, because…” they see him, in the periphery, gesture between them, “...we move together. I don’t need to look back to make sure you get out alright, because if you’ve listened, I know you’re safe. And I need to know you’ll follow me, no matter where we may go. That’s our deal. That’s what I ask.”

Aavya can’t respond, not with the lump in their throat. It feels like they’re getting a dressing down, but it’s not unkind, and that makes it so much worse. It makes them…angry, and embarrassed, and-

It’s because Shepard really means it. He really believes they can be part of this, that they can accomplish the insane, insurmountable task ahead of his crew. That they’ll be able to get through the uncharted Omega 4 relay, defeat the Collectors, and…ride off into the sunset at the end. They can read it, in every line of him. That’s what he intends to do.

Aavya’s finding that they are upset because…they don’t want to disappoint him. And where the fuck did that come from?

Shepard paces, just slightly, just a little, like he can’t stand still.  There’s an energy between them that is not good, but also isn’t bad. Just-changing, maybe. He continues thoughtfully, almost to himself, like he isn’t tearing into them in ways he can’t possibly know. He has to know.

“What we’re doing…it’s too important for you to introduce doubt, for me. Too many people are counting on the choices I make. There is so much out here that will swallow us whole if I make the bad call. And I can’t know when to let you go as far as you want, out into all of it, without trusting I’ll be able to draw you back in. I won’t have that on my conscience.”

His eyes are intent on them, intense. At some point, Aavya looked up-couldn’t help it-and now they find they can’t look away. He’s…resplendent, with his conviction, his drive. They’ve never seen anything like it, and they’ve seen leaders before. 

They are glad for the mask obscuring their face, for the bench supporting their hip.

Shepard looks down the long road of weaponry he’d had brought out for them. It’s a small army’s worth. 

“I know you can’t use most of these. I wouldn’t ever ask you to,” he agrees, surprisingly gently. “But I’ve been wracking my brain about our problem, our issue. And it occurred to me that the only real way for you to believe me, was if I could demonstrate why I have my job. It’s challenging, trying to…translate my experience to people. There’s not really a way to describe it with words. I’m sure you have much that I’ll never fully understand, too,” he adds quickly, almost in apology. 

“So…yeah. This is the closest I could come up with. Adjust your audio levels,” he adds, the spell broken almost mundanely, like he doesn’t know what he is, as he indicates the protection he’s about to put over his own ears. “And step back…we’ll call it ten feet. Some of these kick.”

Aavya’s eyes go wide, but they do as he orders, somewhat sluggishly. The quarian feels almost exhausted, numb, like they’re fighting off a fever, but their suit’s quiet. They hug their own arms, as he walks to the left and picks up the first rifle. Surely, he can’t mean-

Shepard glances over at them, and taps his ear in a question. Aavya nods, without thinking. The human turns, hits the target button on the underside of the bench, and lets out a long breath.

Everything goes by shockingly fast, but then, he clearly knows what he’s doing. 

It’s rote practice, muscle memory. Calculations and angles he’s had to run so many times that he must feel the weight, the swing of his arm, the way each weapon favours one side or the other when the hammer hits. The guns that spray, he knows how to conserve bullets. The lasers, he knows how to charge. When he gets to the precision weapons, it’s art, it’s textbook, it’s perfect. 

Aavya knows just enough to know they’re standing on the edge of a cliff, and it’s a long way down. They watch as he lifts, shoots, reloads, places back down in almost mechanical motion…at least three dozen times. They lose count. They couldn’t tell you what happened, yet every second is seared into their brain, as though they could experience the entirety of it again in an instant.

When he places down the final rifle, there’s a moment of silence. Shepard doesn’t look at them. 

“...holy shit, Ze’ev,” Aavya breathes. They blanch immediately, but he waves them off. 

“As I said: a demonstration. I’m hoping it helped convey my point.” He finally looks over. “I know what I’m doing, Aavya’Raan.” 

* * *

They practice, legitimately, for some time after. It’s easier, now that they’ve cleared the air. Shepard shares his criticism thoughtfully and his praise sincerely, which helps. Aavya finds they don’t bristle at it, the way they might’ve before. They can tease him again, and he deigns to respond to some of it, and it feels…good. They feel good. Really good.

They feel companionable, now; not again, but for the first time, maybe. He’s easier to be around, when it’s just them. 

The praise is even…well. They’ll deal with it. It’s truly unfair that he’s just-like that.

It’s starting to get on, and Shepard indicates it’s about time to head out, when he stops. He’s looking down the range, and starts adjusting the holo-targets with a furrowed brow. His face pulls only slightly, but it conveys a lot, for the Commander. Shepard shakes his head.

“...this has been bugging me for weeks, it’d drive me crazy if we didn’t try it while we’re here. Test your standard. I’m aware the biotics will always be your go-to, but I wouldn’t feel right if we didn’t look it over. Something’s off.”

Aavya hesitates, but proffers their heavily modified gun. 

Shepard takes it slowly, and stares down at it.

“...alright. I’m starting to understand,” he huffs dryly.

They’re roused to action. “Don’t badmouth my work, Shepard. I’m quarian. You’ll cause an incident.”

He ignores them, inspecting their weapon more thoroughly. “It’s impressive, Aavya. If I wasn’t persona non grata to every law-enforcement agency, I might even feel bad about not caring. It’s astonishingly dangerous. I’m not even sure where you’d find some of these parts.”

Aavya can’t help but preen, just a little bit. “You say the sweetest things.”

Shepard relents, and hands their gun back carefully. He taps his fingers consideringly along the surface of the bench, looking downrange. “...alright, so it’s not the gun. That seems custom to fit your uses. Hm. Try out some of these. It might help us figure out what the discrepancy is that I’m noticing, without having to mess with your actual weapon.”

“Good. You don’t know what I’ve rigged it to do,” Aavya replies archly, picking up the Acolyte and getting into firing stance.

“I can only imagine,” he deadpans. “...ah. Loosen your hips, pay attention to the weight distribution on your feet.”

At their sidelong glance, he sighs.

“People always think it’s the shoulders, but it almost never is. There’s your problem. Wasn’t sure while we were training, but now I think I’ve got it. Admittedly, I don’t know how the Flotilla trains, or the specifics of Quarian anatomy that would influence what they tell you.”

“...I could always answer any questions you might have about ‘Quarian anatomy,’ Shepard,” Aavya teases over their shoulder. “Give you a thorough crash course.”

They can feel him shooting them a look. 

“I’m sure you’d like that,” he replies darkly. “But no. No sex at the gun range. There’s a rule.”

Aavya laughs low, turning to him, firing stance utterly forgotten. “Now, who said anything about sex, Shepard? I think you’re-wait. You’re joking?”

Damn their curiosity. Shepard actually chuckles, his flash of teeth doing all sorts of pleasant things to them. Damn, damn, damn.

“If you actually put the work in and we fix your stance so I won’t need to worry about it, I’ll even set you up to ask the poor guy at the desk about it.”

Aavya dutifully turns back to the targets, and thinks, carefully trying to follow his advice. Shepard being a little mean? This they’ve gotta see, they’ll earn it. 

“Promise?” they hum playfully, sighting down scope.

They jump slightly when his hands alight at their hips, correcting just a little. Aavya shivers, and Shepard goes very still behind them. The moment hangs between them, heavy. They hear him breathe out, and they could swear it’s off.

Ze’ev steps back. 

“Promise,” the Commander teases lightly.

[zdusk]

Uh. Long time no see?!?!?!? Quick life update for anyone out there who follows me and still checks this site:

I bought a horse last year

Her name is Firefly (Princess Fairymount Firefly) and she is 2 and she is the love of my life. Also since I got her she has changed colour two times: her summer coat went from a lovely golden dun to a white winter coat to a burnt toast sort of winter-summer-shedding season look. But that buckskin dun is starting to peek thru her dark shoulders again so I'm pretty confident that she's going to return to her previous state and I probably haven't purchased a magical colour changing animal. Bummer.

When I got her, I thought I was getting a rising 3 year old whom I would be training this summer, but I found out recently that she's only turning 2 this May meaning she was only a year and a half old when I bought her. Super disappointing since that's put me off my plans by a whole year, but I'm not going to sell and look for something else because unfortunately I already love her so much and I have a feeling she's going to be worth her weight in gold. Like, she already IS worth her weight in gold and then some to me because she's got the calmest disposition I've EVER seen on a baby horse, but that just means I've found something so special and you'd really have to pry her from my cold dead hands at this point.

There's also my baby doggie Odin!!!!!!!!! I just led with the horse cuz yknow, a lot of my old mutuals here are sso girlies/boyies/themies so I figured the horse might be the more exciting news

He turned 3 last November and I have been raising him since he was an egg. For those of you who knew Hildi, this cringe ass thang is her successor and he's my best friend in the whole world to whom I tell all of my secrets. He LOVES to bark at children though which isn't really cool but we're working on that together. When he isn't barking at unsuspecting children, he's a FIEND for a game of frisbee‐ unfortunately he has also injured his paws TWICE while playing frisbee so its considered a high risk sport for him. That's just how goddamn serious he is about it. If frisbee was a thing at the Olympics he probably wouldn't win but he'd give it his best damn shot and headlines would call his loss 'tragic' but his attempt 'inspirational.' Wait isn't frisbee actually in the Olympics but it's just called discus instead? Hang on a sec I need to call Odin's agent

Odin was sort of the first breakthrough I had with the whole Finding Happiness thing. Like yes surviving the puppy phase was, in my opinion, similar to trying to survive a war, but its been so rewarding to care for and nurture something that has turned around and given me nothing but unconditional love in return. Like seriously, the feeling of being loved by this dog is so strong to the point that its almost overwhelming. He stares at me lovingly even while I'm brushing my teeth like look at this

He seriously breaks my heart ouuuughhhhhhhhhh Odin I love you more than I can put into words without you I'd be NOTHING!!!!!!

I'm probably the happiest I've been in like the last 10 years now. To those of you who knew me from age 16 to about 20-21, No You Didn't and I'm only like, half joking. You knew a very depressed version of me and tbh so did I, I'm still getting used to what happiness is like for me (turns out it's kinda stressful?!?!?!? But when you're the only horse person in the family looking after an animal that can get so stressed out that it gives itself stomach ulcers and dies, I think a healthy dose of stress isn't unusual. Those are a lot of important shots to call!) but it's been nice. I've been meeting new people and making new friends and having invaluable experiences. But also if you knew me from age 16 to 20-21 I am so sorry. I was a WEIRD kid. Now I'm a weird adult. How time flies, eh?

If any of the old wormy men or my other sso mutuals are reading this, I think about you sometimes. I hope life has been treating you well, and you've had lots of ups with your inevitable downs. I'd say I'll try to be more active, but I don't know how true that might be so for now all I can offer is a big fat 'we'll see.' I might just be giving this update to ghosts for all I know.

The funniest joke in this whole post was when I said this was a 'quick' life update and then wrote like 6 whole paragraphs haha classic Z

[tenpintsof-sundrop]

ASK GAME ! ASK GAME ! ASK GAME ! which as I chant out loud sounds like I'm saying "ass game" ... same difference honestly sksksksk

Hiii for the violence ask game (love being a hater) I wanted to know 1, 2, 3 and 23 for whatever fandoms you feel the most passionate about

I wouldn't say that I love being a hater, but I do love being right lmao

also I am feeling spicy so these are gonna be for different fandoms

1 - the character everyone gets wrong

JASON. MOTHER FUCKING. TODD

especially the fandom interpretation Titans version, but like damn

(even other canons get him wrong, and Titans did him so right and people refuse to acknowledge it)

(I could also say Lori Grimes, and Andrea Harrison, and Dick Grayson, and Michonne Hawthorne, and even Gar Logan tbh but this is the rant I am picking)

white cis fanboys just see him as the violent revenge perpetrator - distilled rage, 'the bad sibling', the criminal, the cool one, the gunslinger. fucking whatever

but I am not even so big on a lot of women's interpretation of comics Jason - as some big soft cuddle bug who just needs to be treated softly and cuddled uwu, someone who rip out the throat of anyone who looks at you the wrong way and basically acts like a big bad doberman guard dog in your life (someone possessive and angry and jealous in a love life). again - no

Jason is one of the most emotionally complex characters and the only people who truly understand him are me and Curran Walters.

Jason is a wreck. he was set up to fail - his backstory of poverty and sadness isn't just about giving him some revenge to seek or making him a more conventional criminal, it's his emotional core. everything that has ever happened to him in his life makes him who he is, and so many people don't understand those layers. (so many people don't even acknowledge the differences between him and Dick before Jason became Red Hood). Jason is depressed, he's insecure, he thinks that he's nothing but a problem in other people's lives.

he uses violence as a tool because it's all he's ever known. in a relationship, he would be difficult to connect with because no one has ever truly tried before. he wouldn't be instantly loving - he would be guarded as hell.

I could go on a long time, but anyway - Titans Jason is largely a thing that the show got right and so many people refuse to acknowledge it because they just want to mock Curran's looks and it makes me want to bash my head into things

2 - a compelling argument for why your fave would never top or bottom

I have to do it to em - Spencer Reid would never be a fucking dom. NEVER

(also I know that bottom and top aren't synonyms for dom and sub but I think this ask game was created with mostly mlm ships in mind, so I am talking about this in a dom/sub context because I mostly write and consume x reader fics with bdsm dynamics)

Spencer is a sub. anybody who says that he is a dom, even a 'soft dom' is fucking lying to themselves because they have a particular fantasy that they want him to fit into. even later seasons Spencer would never be a dom

just because someone has rage and acts intimidating towards someone they consider an enemy doesn't mean they would ever feel the confidence to actually be dominant and in charge in bed. that man is walked like a dog constantly by other people in his life, and the only time he 'takes control' of a 'romantic' interaction is when he is with Cat - someone he also considers to be an enemy, an unsub that he can psychologically control. see the pattern?

3 - screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr

I have discussed this before, and I wish I had a screenshot because without proof it almost doesn't seem real

someone saying that Spencer loves Henry more than JJ does - in a massive post where they listed all the reasons that JJ 'ruined' Spencer's life (which just gobsmacked me)

that post was a huge inspiration for the JJ/Spencer friendship scenes in [REDACTED]

I just cannot believe that the fandom is so fucking detached and unrealistic about JJ

23 - ship you've unwillingly come around to

...Richonne

this is in large part from what I have seen about The Ones Who Live spin-off, and I recently realized that the title of the spin-off comes from a scene where Michonne punches Rick in the head in order to literally knock some sense into him, so I fucking love that (and it seems like that's what the whole show is - her literally forcing sense into him after he's become detached from reality due to being held hostage by whatever the fuck that group's name is)

and I think The Thrifty Typewriter really put their relationship into terms that I was struggling with. so many Walking Dead ladies were relegated to nothing but being 'the love interest' once they became a love interest to someone. and if they were struggling with what to do with a female character, they turned her into a love interest for someone

Andrea being paired with a Governor, Rosita not getting more interesting storylines until after she parted from Abraham, Sasha being with Bob and then Abraham and then dying (although I think Sasha has a lot of interesting emotional beats, I see the point in saying that), Jessie (who could have had so much potential outside of just being a love interest for Rick, especially when they clearly had Richonne in mind), Lori's entire existence, etc.

So my huge problem with Richonne is that Michonne was so interesting before she got with Rick. And after she got with Rick, she lost all of her interesting traits, and she was stripped down to 'Lori 2.0'. Pregnant housewife character who stays at home and almost never fights. Rick was spotlighted and she was almost never around until Rick drowned. And I think I loved The Ones Who Live because it gave her back a lot of her fire and her autonomy as well as adding more to the romance, so it was the best of both worlds. (And it really made me come around to the pairing.)

And another huge problem I had with Richonne is the same problem I have with Dickkory - people who ship them act like the entire show was created to drive the ship. And the shippers get really annoying because they act like all the other interesting characters and plot lines do not exist. They act like the producers and writers made the show as a vessel to carry the single ship when that is clearly not the case.

For Dickkory, people boil Dick and Rachel's entire relationship down to 'omg, she is Dickkory's child' - which is very annoying. And for Richhone, people act like Andrea just does not exist, when she pulled Michonne out of a very dark place - Rick did not do that. Michonne said so herself. Andrea is a very important character in Michonne's story.

Anyway - I do like Richonne a lot now. More than I ever expected I would

[imaginesntingz]

Haikyuu Headcannons: When they’re obsessed with your 🍑 (Oikawa Tooru, Ukai Keishin, Kozume Kenma)

Warnings: Swearing, not super explicit/nsfw, but suggestive content so I’ll put it below the cut just in case

A/N: What’s good everyone? Here’s something that I’ve stayed up way too late working on. It’s 5 in the morning and I’ve forgotten my own name. Let me know if y’all want a continuation with other characters. They all ended up being setters in this one so I just went with it I guess. All characters are aged up and 18+. I hope you enjoy! Please don’t copy any of my writings. My content is originally written and I put a lot of time and effort into each piece. Ask me before reposting.

Oikawa Tooru:

Of course he’s respectful when you’re in public, but that doesn’t mean he hasn’t noticed the way that new skirt he bought you last week accentuates your ass in justtt the right way.

You’ve caught him staring a few times and he always plays innocent like the sly little shit that he is.

You called him out once, but you know your mans is dramatic

“You wound me, (y/n) chan! What kind of a man do you take me for? I’m a gentleman! Honestly it’s not all that impressive anyways”

“Sounds like someone’s projecting”

“(Y/N), YOU TAKE THAT BACK RIGHT NOW!”

“You blatantly asked for the smoke, so I kindly obliged~”

“I was just kidding, baby! Why’d you have to come for me like that? 😭😭😭😭”

You had one brattykawa on your hands after that one. Dats tough

Anywhooo

Once you two are alone OOF. This. Bitch. Is. SHAMELESS.

He can’t keep his hands off of you. Doesn’t matter the size or shape

Your ass = Tooru magnet

He could pick you out in a crowd of people based on that booty alone

You’ll be cuddling on the couch, you're on top with your head on his chest just watching a movie and enjoying each other’s presence. Then BAM he’s got both cheeks in each hand, squeezing and kneading firmly

“Neee, (y/n) chan~ You’re so soft, baby girl~ How is that even allowed? Damn you’re so gorgeous, princess”

You: Head Empty

You're bent over the kitchen island scrolling through your phone? This mans is playing patty cake on your buns. Those setter hands are dangerously powerful. Of course he knows how to restrain himself as to not hurt you but whew some of those spanks leave you deliciously breathless and your little gasps are like music to his ears… which usually leads to other tingzzzzz and Tooru teasing you for walking funny the next day

Could his ego get any bigger? I don’t know if we’d survive it

Wearing his favorite pair of leggings or those cute pajama shorts? It’s on sight. You’re trapped beneath this painfully beautiful brat of a man and you wouldn’t have it any other way

And lawwdd if you know how to twerk. He might just faint on the spot

RIP Oikawa it was for a good cause

Ukai Keishin:

Oh boy

Keishin gives me serious ass man vibes. Idk what it is

He worships you in every way possible, but that ass holds a special place in this cranky man’s heart

After a long day of working with crops, managing the store and volleyball practice, this man is tired and grumpy. Hinata somehow managed to almost meet his eternal rest when he was nearly hit by a TRUCK and a CAR and a BIKE and a STATIONARY POLE trying to outdo Kageyama while racing in the neighborhood. He swears those kids have taken at least ten years off his life span.

This man is v stressed

So when he comes home to find you reading in bed on your stomach in nothing but his t-shirt and those sexy panties that show off that beautiful bum… Honestly he could’ve cried he was so geeked.

He teared up a bit ngl (He’d never admit it tho)

This guy swan dived into bed, wrapping his arms around your waist, nuzzling his face into your glorious cakes

“Bad day, hon?”

“Mmmphh”

He took a fat nap right then and there

He was so bitchy and whiny when you woke him up to change sleeping positions (as long as you let him slip a hand on a cheek when you got comfortable, he’s a happy camper)

He just loves feeling the warmth and weight of it in his hands, it’s comforting to him and feels super grounding idk

But boy oh boy does this man love to give it a good smack or two or ten

Watch out bb 😈

He’ll spank you anywhere anytime, but he’s real sneaky about it in public….until he’s not LOL. It just depends on the environment and who is around

Like Oikawa, the strength in those setter hands will have you shOOk to the core especially a seasoned one like Kei

One time you were doing your morning stretches, slipping into downward dog and HO. NEY. Keishin was already pulling you flush against his pelvis and smacking that 🍑 like a djembe drum until tears pricked your eyes. Your whole body was vibrating with desire it was WILD

“Ohhhh, sweetheart. You are a work of fucking art, you know that? You’re not going anywhere today. That’s a promise.”

And that’s how you ended up with twins. Not sorry.

10/10 would recommend

Kozume Kenma:

Listen Linda

It took a while for you to notice

But Kenma is truly OBSESSED with the booty

It took him a while to even admit it to himself tbh

He would look away immediately when he caught himself staring

And he may have appeared chill on the surface but blondie was internally screaming as you literally sat on top of him while he was gaming

He was so hesitant poor bb was overthinking it so hard. He just didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable or think he was weird etc etc

It was confirmed to you when you started waking up in the middle of the night to a fully unconscious Kenma giving your ass subtle squeezes in his sleep

You’ll literally have to sit this man down and be super direct about it

Once you give him the go ahead chillle it’s on and poppin

Only when y’all are alone of course cuz as we know, Kenma is v shy and a very private person

He’s not the pda type in general

Again, he loves it when you sit on top of him when he’s playing video games. Especially when you straddle him. His hand does this smooth slide down your back that sends shivers down your spine before settling over the swell of your butt. He’ll give the occasional rub and caresses your thigh softly. Another muse of his. Kenma LIVES for your thighs. Would happily be suffocated by them. Whoops. Squeeze them around his waist or grind into his lap and you’ll be on your back faster than you can say yes please

When you’re cuddling, he’ll just start jiggling that cake in his hands. He finds it fascinating, soothing and unbelievably hot all at once. The perfect combination in his opinion.

“ . . . Kenma?”

“Hm?”

“Watcha doin back there?”

*continues in concentrated silence*

“Babe??”

“. . . You’re like a sexy human stress ball . . So soft . . So cute . . So squishy . .”

“Ummmkay?”

My mans is hypnotized. He would do that shit for hours if you let him let’s be real. That thang is thangin

He would buy you ALL of the jeans, leggings, shorts, dresses, hoodies, crops, shirts, skirts. Everything and anything that fits your body type in all the right places, Kenma is on it and good lord is he invested. He absolutely spoils you. Blondie bae is surprisingly good at keeping your style in mind while also pushing you to try new things that end up making you look stunning. Big ups

The only time Kenma has spanked you was in retaliation. You wanted to see his reaction to being spanked. So once when he was distracted by his switch, you slowly walked up behind him and SMACK

Kenma nearly dropped the damn switch 😤 You’ve never seen this boi whip his whole body around and bend you over so fast

Two swift yet heavy blows to your backside had you rethinking your whole life. Everything about that moment lives in your head rent free

[mymitochondriaforpresident]

An update:

I have been informed that Omar and this dog were already acquainted prior to the encounter shown above. This is a reunion, not a meet-cute. The sausage in question was in fact NOT just a random dog off the street (like I originally thought). However, it’s still adorable and Omar is still Disney Princess coded and I still stand by that.

Oh, and that’s still me(nta) as a dog.

me as a dog

[i-did]

Do you know when the racism and ableism accusations against Nora started? Because back when I was active in 2016/2017 and don't think they were a thing, or were very low-key. Was it something she said or are people just basing it off the things she wrote in the books?

From what I remember, the first time I heard the blanket statement of “Nora is racist/fetishizes gay men” blanket statement was early fall 2019 (which is so ironic for the fandom to say on so many levels lmao). There wasn’t a catalyst or anything, just she went offline 2016 and no new content was coming out and the aftg fandom is such an echo chamber that… an accidental smear campaign happened.

 Before then, I would see occasional “Nora used ableist slur” which… is funny (not that ableism isn’t serious) to me people care more about that than Seth saying the f-slur. IMO this is because with Seth, it clearly shows the character thinking it and not the author who is writing about what will be an end game mlm relationship. 

But anyways! Long story short, it's the fact that she’s an ace/aro woman who wrote a mlm book, and based off of the events in canon. There is no “Nora called me/someone else a slur” it’s “Nora wrote a book where slur(s) are used” and “the Moriyama’s are Japanese.”

Below I put my own opinion on these claims and go into more detail:

CW for discussions of: racism, ableism, mlm fetishization

Fetishization: (and mentions of sexism at the end)

To one question in the EC about her inspo for aftg she jokingly responded how she wanted to write about gay athletes. On other parts of your blog you could see she was a hockey fan and an overall sports fan (anime or otherwise) but I've seen this statement taken out of context and framed as “she's one of those BOYXBOY” shippers. Considering how… well-developed both Andrew and Neil’s relationship is, and it takes them until like the 3rd book and there is a whole complex ass plot going on around, you can see how that's just. Not really true. And considering the fandom is like… 85% women (queer women but still women) and I've gotten into a discussion with someone who is a woman and called Nora a fetishizer and was ignoring my opinions as a mlm, and I really just wanted to say “well what does that make you?” it's a very ironic high horse. She didn’t write 3 all 3 books to put Neil in lingerie pwp or crop-top fem-fatal fashion show, fandom did. 

Also, I talked to an ace/aro friend about this, and she talked to me about how AFTG spoke to her very much so as an ace/aro story. Neil is demisexual, Nora didn’t know of the word at the time of reading it, but she did get an anon asking if Neil was demi after, and she said “had to look it up, and yep, but he doesn't really think about it” (paraphrased). Obviously it would have been cool if andreil were canonly written as wlw by Nora instead, (which would have increased the amount of wlw rep and demi rep) but tbh I don’t think tumblr would have cared about it nearly as much and everyone would just call Neil a cold bitch–like people do with Nora’s other published book with a main character who's a woman. Plus they're her OC’s, not mine. 

The fact is that 50% of all LGBT+ rep in literature is mlm, mostly white mlm, and not written by mlm. I’m not going to hold her to a higher standard than everyone else, she already broke a shit ton of barriers in topics she discusses that otherwise get ignored. I’m grateful to these books for existing even if it's a mlm story written by a woman. I still will prioritize reading mlm written by mlm–and vice versa with wlw– in the way I prioritize reading stories about POC written by POC. But credit where credit is due, this is a very good story, and a very good demi story. 

Ableism:

To me, AFTG is a story about ableism and how we perceive some trauma survivors more worthy than others. Neil and the foxes using ableist language shows how people actually talk. Neil thinks shitty things about Andrew, like the others do too, and thinks he's “psycho”. The story ultimately deconstructs this idea and these perceptions of people. Wymack, someone who says the r-slur (which is still not known by the general population as a slur even in 2021 much less the early 2000s when the book was beginning to be written and what the timeline is based off of) is a character who understands Andrew better than most of the others do, and gives him the most sympathy and understanding despite using words like the m-slur and r-slur. Using these words isn't good, but it is how people talk, and this character talks. Wymack is a playful “name caller” especially when he’s mad, the foxes think Andrew is “crazy” and incapable of humanity and love because of it. They call his meds “antipsychotics” as an assumption and insult in a derogatory way, when really antipsychotics are a very helpful drug for some people who need them. Even Neil thinks these things about Andrew until he learns to care about him. All the foxes are hypocritical to am extent, as people in real life tend to be. Nora herself doesn’t use these or tweet them or something, her characters do to show aspects of their personality and opinions and how they change over time.

Racism:

As for the racism, I've seen people talk about how racial minorities being antagonists is inherently bad, which I think lacks nuance but overall isn't a harmful statement or belief. However, Nora herself said she wrote in the yakuza instead of another gang or mob because she was inspired for AFTG by sports anime, (which often queer-bait for a variety of reasons). I haven’t seen a textual analysis acknowledging the racist undertones surrounding the Moriyama’s as the few characters of color who are also major antagonists, but instead just “Nora is racist”. Wymack having shitty flame tribal tattoo’s is just… a huge 90’s thing and a part of his character design. Her having a character with bad taste in tattoo trends doesn’t mean she's racist. There is the whole how Nicky is handled thing, but that's a whole thing on it’s own. The fandom… really will write Nicky being all “ai ai muy spicy, jaja imma hit on my white–not annoying like me–boyfriend in Spanish. With my booty hole out and open for him ofc.” and as a Mexican mlm I’m like … damn alright. 

I think there is merit to the fact that she writes white as the default* and unless otherwise stated a POC a character was written with the intent to be white is another valid criticism, as well as the fact that the cast is largely white, but everything Nora is accused of I've seen the fandom do worse. That goes to the debate of, is actively writing stereotypes for POC more harmful than no representation at all? And personally I prefer the lack of established race line that lets me ignore Nora’s canon intent of characters to be white and come up with my own HC’s over the fandoms depictions of “zen monk Renee with dark past” “black best friend Matt who got over drugs but is a puppy dog” “ex stripper black Dan who dates Matt” vague tokenism. I HC many of the upperclassmen as POC and do my best to actively give thought behind it and have their own arcs that also avoids the fandom colorism spectrum of “darkest characters we HC go to the back and fandom favorites are in the front and are the lightest.” 

*I however won't criticize her harsher or more than… everyone else who still largely does this in fanfiction regarding AFTG as well as literature in general. This isn't a Nora thing, it's a societal thing, and considering the books came out in like 2014 I'm not gonna hold her to a higher standard than the rest of the world. She's just someone who wrote her personal OC’s and self-published expecting no following. I don’t know her race and I’m not gonna hold her to a higher standard than everyone else just because. 

The criticisms I've seen have always been… ironic IMO, and clearly I have a lot of thoughts on it. I think most people say those things about Nora because they heard them, and it's the woke thing to say and do and don’t critically analyze their actions or anything, but just accept them. 

[taylorkellyreporting]

i hope no one minds if i inconsistently liveblog this bitch: hawaii five-0 s2 edition

danny visiting steve in prison this season:

kono my love ☹️

oooh chin saw wo fat at the governor’s funeral! hope this means he’ll stop doubting steve’s innocence

steve is so fine and for what

did we need a closeup of steve working out? no but they added it in anyway and i am so thankful they did

what the fuck

“putting more of your friends behind bars?” get him again for me danny

THIS SHOW ISN’T LETTING ME BREATHE

“zip it, kermit!” max’s little smile pls 😭

RACHEL’S GOING BACK TO STAN?! fuck fjgjgjfks

IT’S NOT HIS KID????? ikyfl

oh kono got caught? i’m so surprised

WHEW FIVE-0 IS BACK (kinda, kono is still gone)

wait was his dad working with wo fat????

hesse is dead and wo fat is the one who killed him because of course he is

KAYE??? FUCKING KAYE???? I FEEL SO BETRAYED

I LIKED HER SO MUCH WHAT THE FUCK

NOTHING AND I MEAN NOTHING COULD HAVE PREPARED ME FOR THAT

i never could have predicted that kaye is working with wo fat like i trusted her completely

steve and lori are def gonna fuck and i am here for it

wow kaye plays dirty

how could she take advantage of steve’s kindness and not feel an ounce of guilt?

“how long have you two been married?” 😭😭😭

kaye and her crocodile ass tears 🙄 wonder where she’s actually going

kono :(

rlly wanted lori to figure out that kaye was hiding something

i feel like they’re gonna test kono’s likability this season and i’m not here for it

so disappointed in kono

“why are tagging this guy a homicide?…’this guy’ it’s a hand” 😭

“those coins? they’re about as real as your tan” pls

i rlly hope kono used chin’s login on purpose

well she def didn’t use it on purpose

i felt joe was lying but damn i was hoping he wasn’t

i hope that little speech made kono feel like shit

so steve’s dad just wasn’t a good guy?

now why does kono have blood on her hand in this thumbnail 😩

seriously malia looks like chin’s mom

“where was that something special when he lost his badge?”oooh malia’s face was priceless

WOAH

lori 😭😭😭

KONO?! well fuck

WHAT

this episode is so intense my gawd

OH GOD something’s gonna happen to joe, huh?

MY GAWD

he deffo knew about mokoto bc of kaye and i can’t wait for them to finally figure it out

well that was definitely an…opening.

danny deserved that rock through his window tbh

max 😭😭

the dog thought his owner was home 🥺

NOT STEVE IN THE BACK 😭😭😭

chin got contact high fjgjfjdjs

wow okay exotic animals

OH MY GOD MAX REALLY DID IT 😭😭

i love kamekona so much 😭

i love when steve and danny fight like a married couple

9 eps in and still no rachel…🤨

kaye betrayed the team for a dead body oh wow

it’s always a complicated thing when a character like kaye gets killed off

whew that ep was intense as hell

my gawd she just killed him in front of all those kids

joe :(

“it has to do with us” woah?

“i think my dad knows that guy” HELLO

woah woah woah they blew up the drugs

those are some ruthless drug lords my gawd

those poor babies are gonna be traumatized for life

losing my mind what the hell is going on with joe???

DANNY AND LORI?!?

“imagine what they’d pay if they thought that their son was still alive” what a monster

forgot chin is getting married lmao

“i was hoping you wouldn’t say that” BITCH

got a feeling either steve’s mom or dad is alive and that’s who joe has been protecting

the boyfriend took pills???? he deffo has something to hide

“i don’t need $5000 and if i did i’d steal it from my own parents” LMFAOOO

OH MY GOD????

“i helped him fake his death” i-

i just wanna hug steve :(

well rachel certainly looks different

i’ve never seen a more obvious ad placement than this subway one 😭😭

“they’re gonna kill each other before we set the play” lmfaooo yeah

rachel’s stomach looks so fake pls

i’m sorry but i don’t believe joe

still doesn’t explain the phone call where joe said steve was too close to finding out the truth

lori’s stronger than me bc once steve had me in his arms i wouldn’t be able to not kiss him

HE TOOK GRACE

“we’re never going to see chin again” WHAT?????

NOT LORI LEAVING I HATE IT HERE

can’t believe i’m almost done with this season omg?

steve looks like he aged ten years fjgjfjdks

i miss lori so much what the hell

“it was either that or you cook one of your frittata’s, danny” 😭

lekio was thee funniest ep of the series so far

“buttercream’s my favorite :D” i love steve 😭

not steve leaving what the actual hell

oh God this scene with the victims mom is so sad

i’ve never heard max so serious before it’s so odd

OH MY GOD?????

WOAH MAX STAY WITH ME

my gawd this episode was so good

this next episode is a crossover with ncis: los angeles so i’m about to be confused as hell

woah????

“what the hell happened?” “aside from waking up a foot shorter? my worst nightmare” 😭😭

danny and hanna’s dynamic has me dying

that takes “blood bath” to a whole new level

KONO AND FREAKING ADAM ARE YOU JOKING

“can you hurry back, please?” 🥺

“what are you wearing?” 284&(!?$/&:

DANNY?????

lmaooo so he’s just gonna pull a gun on kono? saw that coming tbh

this is so intense what the hell

“look at me” I CAN’T BREATHE FKGJFKCKDKS

can’t believe steve didn’t put one in wo fat when he had the chance like does he honestly believe that he’s actually going to stay in prison?

okay the summery for the finale is…a lot.

oh shit someone’s watching all of them

NOT HIM?

MAX YOU STAY WITH ME DAMN IT

i don’t understand?

we all know who chin’s saving

OH MY GOD HE CHOSE MALIA WHAT THE FUCK

LMAOOO HE KILLED HER ANYWAY

what the actual fuck man

I KNEW HIS MOM WAS ALIVE I FREAKING KNEW IT

[elysianslove]

could i req a hc for kita & akaashi where their crush is secretly a jujutsu sorcerer who goes to their school to undercover and to kill the curse but they didn’t know and what if one day, she saves them from the curse? what’s their reaction towards reader? thanks!

JBBSHJDJ JJK X HQ????? GOD BLESS. thank u so much for requesting this hope you like it!! <3

kita shinsuke 

kita’s not a nosy person. he always keeps to himself and stays out of people’s business, and he’s never been the type to encourage rumors or to dwell long on what if’s and theories and conspiracies 

but even he had to admit your situation was weird 

you enroll into inarizaki mid-year, and you’re a third year like him. at first he’d just assumed you’d moved from a neighboring high school last minute, but you never attempted to participate, as if you were only here for show. next, he’d assumed it had been familial issues, but he heard nothing of that, never saw you with a sibling or a parent or a guardian. it was all too. vague for his liking

of course, this amount of interest is unbecoming of kita. it’s just. there were so many questions to you and no answers. you really, really intrigued him, and okay, maybe he thought you were really pretty, and yeah maybe he did have a small crush on you, but that was besides the point! 

the main thing is that you were just. sus. 

he realized you weren’t really causing harm though, just quietly minding your business, so he did the same, and chose to ignore any nagging at the back of his mind 

until he picks up on another weird habit of yours: staying at school until the latest hours. as involved as he was with school activities, he hadn’t heard you being a part of any club, considering how late you’d enrolled in school. but here you were, without fail, every day, by the school gates as the sun sets 

the only reason so much attention was given to you from kita was because of how peculiar your case was. it frustrated him how he knew nothing, just your name after your brief introduction to the class, and the fact that there seemed so much to you. it’s not that you were simply a private, boring person. it couldn’t be, not with how secretive everything was 

one day, on accident, he lags behind in the boys’ gymnasium, cleaning every volleyball with extra care and without noticing, the sun had set. under the assumption he was the only one in the gymnasium, after ensuring every and all equipment was in its place and clean, he grabbed the keys and started to head out. the gymnasium was quiet and dark, save for the gentle stream of moonlight and —

hm 

whatever that thing was, it did not belong in the gymnasium 

okay let’s assume kita can see curses because what is there that kita can’t do 

i don’t think he’d panic outwardly, but he definitely would freeze up and just not know what to do

it didn’t look too friendly either. or sound friendly. or smell friendly 

your appearance comes all of a sudden for him, but honestly, when you come barging in through the doors and you start battling the curse, he’s? not surprised? 

like he figured you had a secret, just — who knew it would be this? 

he’s honestly a little mesmerized with how you manage to fight it off and keep him out of harm’s way simultaneously, until you finally exorcise it

you’re breathing heavily after you’re done, since the curse had put up quite the fight against you, so kita, with his captain instincts, and with mobile feet again thankfully, comes up to you and asks if you’re okay 

you look at him bewildered like??? am i okay??? are you okay???/

you’re a little concerned how unfazed he is by the curse tbh 

after the adrenaline fades away, and you’re left standing in this dark, empty gymnasium with this really handsome guy, you finally find it within yourself to introduce yourself, telling him your name, before lifting up your hand to shake it with his, continuing, “and i’m a jujutsu sorcerer.” 

kita smiles, there’s a part of him, an itch that’s been dying to get scratched, that’s finally relieved, and he takes your hand in his, shaking it firmly and saying, “kita shinsuke; pleasure to meet you.” 

“pleasure’s all mine.” 

he walks you home, and the entire time he realizes how you’re really the furthest thing from quiet, you’re just serious when you need to be, given your occupation. you explain the whole ordeal, about the manifestation of curses spiking in this area, how you’d been assigned this mission, everything. 

it is so satisfying to him finally understanding everything. it’s like finishing a puzzle that’s taken months to complete

you admit that that had been the last curse, since you’d eliminated the source, and you’d have to leave soon 

not without his number you’re not <3 

kita’s not the type to want to show off his s/o, but once you inevitably become that, he takes every opportunity he can to watch everyone’s eyes as they see you kick ass. it’s his guilty pleasure :)

akaashi keiji 

okay this one’s a little different because your arrival at fukurodani wasn’t so sudden. yeah you’d joined later than most students, but you’ve been here since the start of the year, so akaashi wasn’t suspicious of you, since you’d never given him a reason to be

he doesn’t see you outside of school often. honestly, he doesn’t even see you in school. you don’t share classes with him, so he doesn’t know if you skip classes or not, but he’s heard that you do. you’re also never like. anywhere. it’s most that he knows of you

he just assumed you were one of those careless kids that didn’t really give a shit about school, until he started seeing you. except, it was at the weirdest times, and the weirdest locations: sometimes it’d be behind the gymnasium where he practices volleyball, or it’d be in those sketchy alleyways where he was 90% sure people sold drugs there, sometimes he’d spot you on the roof of the school. it was so

odd? 

akaashi’s a very curious person. he’s not nosy, he just has a very overactive imagination (i mean, literature department akaashi keiji? obviously) 

so all this just made him unconsciously pay more attention to you. like, he didn’t want to, he just subconsciously did. any time he’d pick you out from the crowd, he’d find his eyes following you narrowly, or anytime he heard your name, his ears would perk up. he really didn’t mean it. you just kinda fascinated him, to the point of, maybe a crush? he wouldn’t really call it that, but yeah, he guesses the symptoms are of a crush

but anyways, this school was really boring! that’s why! 

not a crush >:(

so! he’d been walking home one night, let’s say bokuto was with his family and there was no training for that day. it was winter, so the sun had set pretty early, leaving him in the paleness of the moonlight and the occasional streetlight illuminating the pathway for him. there wasn’t really anybody around, and he figured at a time like this people were either already home or still at work

until he heard a low growling noise 

he didn’t really think much of it, only stiffening up a bit

but he told himself it was his mind playing tricks on him, or something he mistook for a growl, or maybe it was a growl and it was just some dog nearby. just tried to stick to rational thinking because what else would it be?? was there option for anything else? 

until, out of nowhere, you appeared from an alley he just crossed past, and curled up against him, one arm hugging him tight, before you raised a hand to your lips and silently asked him to stay quiet 

he was

very confused 

like what the fuck 

but then you shifted, spinning around him. curiously, he twisted around with you, and

damn

what the actual fuck

so it wasn’t a dog 

the curse lunged at you, or maybe it lunged at akaashi, but you quickly kicked it away, sending it spinning, before you raised your hands up above you, ready to exorcise it, until it twisted unexpectedly and aimed at akaashi 

it made you panic, and instead of focusing on exterminating the curse, you turned your focus on protecting akaashi, who was in momentary shock. or maybe it was awe. you weren’t sure. somehow, you fought with the curse, maneuvering your way around it and moving akaashi along with you. somehow, his hand was in yours, and he was letting you shift him right and left as you attempted to fight off the curse. god, what the fuck is going on

eventually, finally, akaashi ducked behind you, and you raised your hands above you again, quickly exorcising it. he watched from under his shielding arms as the curse — exploded? vanished? evaporated? 

and without even missing a beat, you were kneeling before him, hands on his shoulders, shaking him wildly, asking is he’s okay 

it kinda made him want to laugh at how panicked you seemed in comparison to how serious and scary you’d been a second before 

akaashi finally answers that yes, he’s okay, but he demands an explanation, please, because he’s never been more confused 

you continue to walk him home, with the lame excuse of “i’m your personal bodyguard now,” and explain everything to him. he’s. kinda. really amazed? like you thought he’d get thrown off at the reality of the world you and him live in but he’s actually really fascinated, and he listens to you talk the entire time, only speaking when he has a question 

when you come to school the next day, you smile at him knowingly, waving at him and when bokuto sees him wave back with a small smile on his face, he combusts. 

akaashi sorta really likes the idea of being the only one to know your little secret. something about it is so satisfyingly intimate, and the trust it conveys? he’s really honored, you know? 

as your s/o, he gets really worried whenever you’re sent out on missions, but you always remind him that what brought you two together was you saving his ass <3

and then he’s reminded of just how proud of you and amazed he is hehe

end note; i want to write a book. :D

[hopefulobjectmiracle]

A quick analysis of the puppy scene in 3x15, because my OTP is perfect.

This is honestly just a whole lot of gushing and flailing, tbh. Because Kurt and Blaine and their relationship are wonderful and I love them so, so much. So much so that I can write paragraphs on a scene that is barely one minute long. 

This somehow ended up being much longer than I intended, oops. Hope you enjoy it :)

We start off this scene with Blaine alone at his locker, presumably putting away his belongings from his last class, and you can still see Kurt’s ‘Gay-diddy-gay-gay-gay’ class council election poster on the inside of Blaine’s locker, even months after Kurt lost the election. But Blaine still keeps it up, because he loves Kurt, and if he had it his way, Kurt would win everything. Awww. He appears to be deep in thought, and when Kurt hides behind Blaine’s locker, speaking in the world’s most adorably terrible British accent, it startles Blaine for a second.

And man, does that make me sad. This is a kid that has been bullied, undoubtedly shoved into lockers and pushed here and there just like Kurt was. He hears an unfamiliar voice and immediately flinches back in fear, expecting the worst. 

But it isn’t the worst - it’s the best. Because it’s Kurt, the person Blaine loves more than anything, hiding behind the locker, and it’s Kurt speaking in that cute-ass accent holding a stuffed puppy in front of his face. 

(Side note - I once read that Chris Colfer improvised the dialogue and accent of this scene, as well as coming up with the name for the puppy, which totally checks out since Chris is a huge Anglophile.)

And as soon as Blaine recognizes his boyfriend, his face breaks out into the sunniest smile, and he does his signature “Kurt-made-me-laugh” move, the blushy head-duck (see here for reference). 

Kurt also looks similarly delighted to see Blaine, because Blaine is lovely and Kurt loves him so, so much, and because he’s also excited to show Blaine the gift he got him and help Blaine out with his problems. Kurt really loves Blaine, y’all. He looks so damn proud of the stuffed animal he got for him and equally proud of his own ability to make Blaine laugh with his clever puns. 

Kurt goes on to explain that Finn won the stuffed puppy while out at the amusement park for Senior Skip Day, along with thirteen others for Rachel, and as soon as he says this, Blaine nods along as if to say - oh, of course, that Rachel - because Blaine is considerate as hell and knows his friends very well. And in honest-to-god Kurt fashion, bb stole the puppy from his brother, because Kurt is the definition of Be Gay, Do Crime, and he also recognizes that Rachel does not need 14 different stuffed animals. 

He pouts a little right then, telling Blaine that he wanted to give it to him so that Blaine would have something, since Kurt wasn’t able to convince Blaine to go with them on the field trip. I wonder how that conversation went. 

Also, pouty Kurt is fucking adorable. Protect him at all costs.

Blaine is melancholy again, telling Kurt that he would have just brought the mood down for the group. And when Blaine says this? Kurt stops beating around the bush and gets straight to the point. 

Sweetly stroking the stuffed puppy, Kurt tells Blaine that he understands him. That he gets that family problems are hard, because they’re hard for him too. He uses himself as an example to try and get his point across to Blaine more effectively, and mentions that he and Finn disagree on nearly everything, but at the end of the day, they love one another and are always there for one another despite their differences. 

I’m also getting so many brotherly Furt feelings from Kurt referring to Finn as “the big lug” and talking about how much he loves him. Ugh. I also cry at the line where Kurt tells Blaine that he only has one brother and shouldn’t give up on that, given what happens to Finn. I wish we’d gotten more of that relationship in canon before Cory’s untimely passing, because they clearly had so much love for one another, both on-screen and off.

Anyway, Kurt sees the love he has with his brother and wants Blaine to be able to experience the same thing, because he loves Blaine so, so much and he thinks that Blaine deserves everything great in this world. He also brings back the cute-ass accent, and upon seeing Blaine look upset, bumps Margaret Thatcher Dog against Blaine’s cheek to get him to smile again - which Blaine absolutely does; his face is bright and sunny again because of Kurt’s silliness. Awww. 

Kurt tells Blaine never to give up, and Blaine indignantly responds that Cooper is the one who is leaving for a big audition. Kurt pauses, and tells Blaine that Cooper hasn’t actually left him yet. He says that Cooper is waiting in the auditorium, hoping that Blaine will come and talk to him and make things right. This line very strongly implies that Kurt and Cooper coordinated this, and that Kurt made an effort of talking to Cooper to try and arrange a meeting with Blaine - because in a matter of mere days, Kurt was able to glean how important their relationship was to Blaine and wanted to do everything he could to fix it. Give him all the boyfriend awards, folks.

I’m kidding. Please don’t start the Better Boyfriend Olympics again, lol.

Blaine huffs out that talking doesn’t actually work with Cooper, and that he’s tried it to no avail. And Kurt just nods knowingly, as if he was aware that Blaine would say that. And though it isn’t explicitly mentioned, I bet he did know. He then goes on to say that perhaps talking isn’t the best answer for Blaine. Maybe there’s something else, a better method of communicating his feelings that would work more for Blaine. 

Okay. You know what this reminds me of? Flash back a year, to Silly Love Songs. This is (perhaps unintentionally) a direct callback to 2x12. Back when Blaine was still crushing on someone who is not Kurt, he said this to the Warblers about his idea to serenade Jeremiah. 

Blaine (2011): I'm not really good at talking about my feelings. I'm much better at singing them.

And here are Kurt’s words, from more than a year later. 

Kurt (2012): Maybe talking is not the answer. Maybe you need to show him how you really feel in the best, most honest way you know how. 

Can I just stop right here and squeal a little bit? Because Kurt knows his boyfriend so, so well. He remembers the things that Blaine tells him, even things from over a year ago. He holds onto this key piece of information about Blaine, because Blaine is important to him and the things he tells Kurt are worth remembering. And here, in this scene, he puts his memory to good use to try and remind Blaine of his most effective and heartfelt form of communication so that he can help Blaine mend fences with his brother. 

GIVE HIM THE BOYFRIEND AWARDS, FOLKS!

Kurt is so, supportive of Blaine and just wants the best for him, and it just boggles my mind when people claim that Kurt didn’t love Blaine as much as Blaine loved him, because from even short simple scenes like this one, anyone can tell that it isn’t true. 

After listening to Kurt, Blaine stops, and for the first time, genuinely considers it. Prior to this, all of Cooper’s attempts at talking couldn’t get through to him. Blaine still felt the jealousy and resentment from all those years growing up. But after hearing Kurt’s advice, he puts that aside and realizes that some things, like family, are more important, and so he makes that decision to go see his brother and try and express his feelings in a different way. 

Blaine turns to go meet Cooper, and Kurt watches him go, looking so damn proud of his boyfriend and so, so hopeful...

Y’all know what happens next. Blaine and Cooper, a pair of brothers, sing a breakup song. Yet somehow, it works. Singing manages to communicate all of those emotions that were suppressed before, and opens the doors for real conversation between the two of them. They do successfully patch things up, with Cooper finally recognizing Blaine’s talent and Blaine trying to support Cooper in future endeavors. They are on a path to a close relationship, which is all both of them had ever really wanted in the first place. 

And if not for Kurt’s advice, this may not have happened. Y’all heard that right - Kurt Hummel helped Blaine patch things up with a member of his family because he knew how important it was to Blaine, and he knew how badly Blaine wanted this even if Blaine didn’t let it show. From all the bits and pieces of information we’ve gathered over the years about Blaine’s family, they don’t appear to be all that close, which is why it’s even more important for Blaine that he is able to reconcile with his brother.

(For more of my thoughts on Blaine’s family, feel free to check out this analysis of mine. Yeah, this is a shameless self promo. Deal with it.)

So...what was the point of this analysis? I’m not quite sure. I suppose I just had a lot of feelings about Blaine, Klaine, family, and the way that Kurt shows love. Like I’ve said millions of times, just because Kurt is more subtle in the way that he shows love to Blaine, doesn’t mean that it’s any less powerful. Scenes like this, in which he handpicks Blaine’s own words and uses them to push Blaine towards something he was too afraid to admit he really wanted? Kurt helping reconcile Blaine with his family? This is Klaine at its best, and scenes like this are why I will always, always ship this couple. 

Kurt and Blaine are incredible, y’all. 

Peace. 

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for being Owen Grady’s child

Owen Grady x child!reader

warnings: knives, guns

a/n: i cannot remember the plot bare w me

prompt: being owen’s child

okay, let’s start with the fact that he’s a single dad

that did not stop him from raising you right

navy brat

after a little bit of instability during his years of service, he got a job as a raptor trainer

so you see, it wasn’t a typical childhood

you two moved to isla nublar so he could begin his work

“woah, that’s a dinosaur?”

“yeah, kiddo, she’s a velociraptor”

you were a bit older when you met the dinosaurs, so owen trusted you to be around them

“if you respect them, they’ll respect you”

blue took a liking to you pretty quick!!!

owen thought it was adorable the way you got along with the raptors

you were sort of like a co-trainer

living in that lil trailer

“this place is too small”

“quit your complaining and eat your mac and cheese”

your dad taught you how to fix cars and motorcycles

you did a bang-up job

“you really are my child. oh, my god, im so proud”

watching tv with owen all the damn time

it was usually cartoons though bc that was all he cared to watch

sometimes he forgets that you are not a raptor and you have to jog his memory

“can you get your hand out of my face before i tear it off?”

half of your holiday gifts are weapons

“look at this knife, y/n! it’s two inches longer than your old one. you’ll grow into it”

“dad, a knife is not a pair of pants...but thank you, i love it”

you’re pretty good at throwing knives, though. your dad put a target on a nearby tree for you to practice

every once in a while it’s gun practice, though

“okay, remember the proper foot stance...now arms. make sure not to lock up, make sure your fingers are clear from anything that could move...okay, go!”

there was a high level of trust between you and your dad

he ruffles your hair a lot, you used to care

you no longer care

you had free admission to the park, so sometimes you’d take the day off and wander around for a while

you always came home with a stuffed animal (or several)

“is that a stuffed pterodactyl?”

“his name is pterry”

“nice”

back to raptor training: you loved it!!!!!!!

training a dinosaur was nothing like training a dog, lemme tell you

these lovely dinos made you so happy!!!

they’re pretty at-ease when you’re nearby

arguing when anyone talks about using them for some sort of selfish profit

“they’re animals, dipshit! stop treating them like weapons!”

“mr. grady, are you going to tell your child to behave?”

“no, no i will not”

claire popping over to see your dad while you were working on his bike

because she suddenly needed your dad’s help

and wanted to exclude you until your dad said he wouldn’t do anything unless you had the opportunity to come along

“you know, y/n, i have a nephew who’s about the same age as you visiting here right now”

“how old am i, claire?”

she did not have a response

your dad was stifling chuckles

“nice one, kid” *high five*

tHe InDoMiNuS rEx

you: 👀

owen: 👀

yeah this was not gonna be good

tbh you almost died when you were surveying the cage

why? oh, i don’t know...because there was a BIG FUCKING DINOSAUR IN THAT BITCH

“y/n! under there!”

you ran ahead of owen and ducked under a truck where he soon followed (and dumped gasoline all over yall)

terrifying, truly

your dad did not want to let you out of his sight

not todayyyy

“are you okay, yeah?”

“perfect...”

busting into the control center :) tee hee

while owen was barking orders at people and telling them to not do what they were doing, you were sitting next to the guy with a bunch of dinosaurs on his desk

“you like them?”

“not really, i’m not five”

“oh...”

turning to the screen to see flatlining soldiers

“oh, shit. uh, that’s not good. you need to close the park maybe?”

they dont like listening to the child with the bright ideas ig

they did end up shutting off rides though. best they can do, huh?

claire couldnt get in contact with her nephews

you went after them together

it was a long ass journey

you almost died a few times

although your father did trust you to take care of yourself, even in a situation like this, he still was extremely worried for your safety

you got a gun :)

this was actually positively the worst day of your life

okay, it took a long while to catch up to claire’s nephews

“jesus, claire, you’re nephews sure know how to move. this is getting exhausting”

you didn’t find them until the......pterodactyls got loose

“pterry would never do something like this”

“not the time or place, y/n”

“sorry, dad”

finally finding those damn kids

“hey, i’m y/n, your crazy ass aunt just dragged me and my dad all the way around the island to find you!”

oh yeah a pterodactyl tackled your dad

whoop de do your gun was jammed

claire saved the day and all three of you witnessed their little display of pda amidst chaos

“wow, uh, maybe we’ll be cousins...”

your dad finally caved and agreed to use the raptors to find the indominus rex

and you got to prove your badassery out there

“you sure you’re up for this mission, y/n? you know you can stay with claire and the boys if you want”

“i’ll be okay, dad, i promise”

he gave you a hug

YOU GOT A MF MOTORCYCLE

okay i cant lie, you and your dad riding motorcycles side-by-side among velociraptors was probably the coolest thing you’ll ever get to do

but they, uh, kind of turned on you and next thing you know, you were speeding after the ambulance claire was driving

zach and gray were relieved to see you

you gave ‘em a little wave

“do you think we’ll ever be that cool?”

“gray, not now”

“i’m gonna take that as a ‘no’”

CLAIRE LET OUT THE MOTHERFUCKING T-REX

it was an Experience(tm)

you were split up from your dad and the boys while she was doing that

so you were deathly worried

running over there when it was safe

“is everyone alright?”

“define ‘alright’” -gray

“we’re fine, y/n” -zach

“are you okay?” -dad

“yeah, i think so”

this final battle between the dinosaurs was a bit shocking to watch, but it was hard to keep your eyes off

it all wrapped up and the dinos were let loose

and......the park got closed down

you and your dad were unemployed effective immediately

but your dad and claire finally got together

“you guys are sweet but are we all going to fit in that little camper?”

“we’ll make it work”

they did for a while

but there was a lot if arguing

your dad wanted to reside in the camper forever, claire didn’t, they broke up, you stayed with your dad to help him out during hard times, he decided to build a cabin

he claims he was not affected by the breakup but you knew better

you and your dad had an unbreakable bond, you’d been through so much together

it was only a matter of time before the world had something new in store for you and dad

taglist:

[kharmii]

Omegaverse/Blankshipping

Someone sent me an anonymous ask talking about Omegaverse, but they ended it with this: *not an anti or looking for a fight tho! just really interested in fd history overall. plus i vibe w literary analysis :) pls dont answer this ask! this was an impulse info-dump on my end lol*

I'll respect that, but I want to talk about a few points they wrote on here for the fun of it. Save it about touching grass. I do that all damn day. Sometimes I just want to go online and say some goofy shit. (USUAL WARNINGS APPLY: R-18 EXPLICIT OFFENSIVE)

Anon wrote: tho tbh i am kinda sour about the fact that male omegas dont have periods :))

Really?! That seems misogynistic and also unhealthy af. Since this whole fandom is a dog analogy to me, I'd compare male omegas to those grody messes of English bulldogs that are unable to do all aspects of breeding without human intervention. They should have let natural selection run its course and let all those flabby lumps of flesh die out. After all, they can't birth without c-sections, and they can't even do the deed to make puppies. Breeders have to rely on artificial insemination.

Whoever created this kink obviously didn't world build outside of the asinine fetish. A male omega would obviously require a c-section so they don't hemorrhage to death squeezing an infant out their rectum, and they would most certainly have a period, but the menstrual blood might not have any place to go except back up into whatever version of ovaries they have. Then from there it would turn into fibrous tissue surrounding all vital organs. They'd all need routine laparoscopies done to remove the severe endometriosis growing around their vital organs, otherwise they'd constantly be in the fetal position suffering severe chronic pain.

Also they wrote: it's mostly a way to make your mlm ships "work". wc i guess makes abo theoretically weird and harmful w the way it makes gay ships approximate heterosexual relationships? also there is some ingrained misogyny to it... its a slippery, slipper slope. but nggl, thats not something you should put into mind as much! the things ppl enjoy are not complete reflections of their beliefs or who they are hehe

It doesn't work with mirror twins who are genetic copies of each other and therefore can't be opposite genders.

The blankshippers keep throwing out that 'your fantasies have nothing to do with who you are irl', and they have this huge persecution complex like they think so many people are out to judge them and harass them. -Come to find out, they are cliquish and JUDGEMENTAL AS FUUUUUCK. They will stew over some little slight and then label you as a horrible person over it....but don't you dare judge them for the sick-ass weird shit they are into. I found this out when a bunch of them were gossiping on Discord about me (it's fine; you can keep on keepin' on and I won't hold it against you *wink*). Two of them blocked me, so I can say mean stuff about them, and they will only find out if someone goes out of their way to tell them.

One clown, "Tombstone" was secretly stewing with resentment while we interacted back-and-forth when I'd reblog his/her posts. I thought we were having fun, but this person didn't like how I interpreted fan art wrong when I'd attribute my head canons to other artists images, and I supposedly used the word 'retard' when reblogging one of his/her posts. The only time I remember (goofing around) doing this was a long-ass time ago, calling Emmet a 'crazy-retarded God-killer'. I thought he/she might have been talking about this, but no go. He/she said that I should stop saying mean stuff about Emmet on his/her posts, yet he/she constantly dehumanizes Emmet, is into torture porn about the twins, and turns them into a serial killers and/or monsters. There's nothing meaner than that.

Another clown, "Dingo" is like....good riddance. This artist makes Emmet's facial expressions look mentally retarded af. He/she likes drawing Ingo's jacket but has issues with Emmet's for some odd reason. Also, he/she is the one who did a gross bull/cow drawing where Ingo was wearing a full arm glove that presumably goes up a cow's vagina that's roomy enough to accommodate an entire human arm. -Nothing gross and inappropriate about that. Nope. No sir. -Also did dog-fucker. I can almost see the invisible stink lines coming out of them.

The worst part is that he/she draws the twins looking gross and skanky with scruffy hair. They don't seem like the skeevy tramp-stamp sort of dudes. Sure, they look like clownish creepy puppets, but they also look rather crisp and shiny and fresh. They look like the sort of guys who would smell pretty....walking into a room engulfed in a cloud of good-smelling cologne. Even when Ingo was in Hisui, I'd bet he was the type to bathe in the hot springs twice a month, instead of just once a month like is customary for Pearl Clan members. When he'd reunite with Emmet and be told he was rather ripe, he'd reply, "Why...I was just in the hot springs a week and a half ago!"

Art credit to: ℃эŁ@cal_1d2d Twitter.

[burnedbyshoto]

There’s a trend going around tiktok where people wait for their s/o other to come home/they walk in on them naked. How would the bnha boys react? (Any you choose!)

i didn’t really know who asked this and what their preference in character is. but tbh, if you come and ask me for the bnha boys, these are “the boys”: bakugou, kaminari, kirishima, midoriya, todoroki. so I hope you enjoy!

also this got horny, sorry

bakugou; kaminari; kirishima; midoriya; todoroki x fem!reader

warnings: smutty

bakugou katsuki is the boyfriend who gets greeted at home with you being naked. you’re hidden behind the kitchen counter at first, eyes focused on him while he slowly puts down his things from work. talking to you with his back to you, you slowly make your way out from behind the counter in your naked glory to him finally turning around mid-sentence. he had been complaining about work again, nothing new, nothing serious, and he’s greeted by the sight of your naked chest. 

now, bakugou would never admit that he gets overly excited about sex, never in a million years would he say that. but the smirk on his his face is undeniable, neither is the way that he presses your naked skin against the cold marble before you could blink. the freezing stone making you shriek while his heated body grinds into yours. 

you couldn’t wiggle your way out of his grasp, your fingers pushing at his shoulders because while you wanted a reaction you weren’t expecting this from your goody two shoed boyfriend. you, however, were powerless when his mouth begins to trail hot and wet open mouthed kisses on your neck, ignoring your pitched mewls.

“I just got home and you’re already wanting to be fuck?” he growls into your neck, his fingers digging into your skin. “didn’t you know its common courtesy to wait for me to settle in? do I need to teach you some lessons baby girl?”

your eyes flutter, fingers groping his buttons in your attempt to get the damn shirt off, “try your worst in getting me to change my habits.”

⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆

kaminari denki is the boyfriend who is aware of the challenge even before it becomes a trend. he won’t lie, he cannot wait for you to find it and try it out on him. so he decides to keep himself busy until you do find it.

he was wasting his days away by playing video games, more engrossed with your mindless scrolling through tiktok than anything. now you’re not an idiot, you had seen the challenge a few days after kaminari because your girl friends had shared the first viral video on your groupchat and everyone wanted to try it out on their s/o’s but you had to be patient.

It wasn’t until kaminari was wrapping up a report on his laptop did you finally emerge from your bedroom, towel long forgotten on the floor while you leisurely leaned against the door frame. your eyes sparkling in joy when kaminari looks around at you, his eyes – for lack of a better term – exploding in his head.

“hi baby–” you begin, your gaze turning sultry, seductive.

“bedroom, now,” kaminari expresses with excited urgency, his hands attaching right under your pert ass, groping the soft flesh in his calloused hands. his lips immediately swallowing your gentle moans until he had you on the mattress of your bed. “you had me waiting too long for this, baby, but good things come to those who wait.”

“that’s my line, stupid.”

your giggles were interrupted by his mouth latching onto your breasts, a breathless gasp escaping your lips.

⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆

kirishima eijirou is the boyfriend who is wrapped up in video games when you decide to try this out. he’s delightfully playing online with some friends when you entire the room, body entirely naked, mind made up that you were more important than ten more minutes of playing some game that he and your old classmates sucked ass at.

you dropped your towel with all your strength, hoping that the noise made it through his headphones while he slammed a whole bunch of keys. kirishima glanced over at you, his eyes concerned, and upon seeing that you were not angry turned back to his screen, a sentence on his tongue before it clicked exactly what the state of appearance you were in. he whips around to stare at you, jaw to his lap, a boner already growing in place while you sauntered towards him.

“don’t worry,” you whisper just loud enough for him to hear but quiet enough that the mic wouldn’t pick it up. “finish up your game.”

kirishima lets out the pitchiest whine when you remove his shorts and boxers and sink onto his cock. you suppress your moans at the feeling of his thick cock stretching you out, the pleasure singeing your toes, and his cock twitching well within you.

“damn, ei, don’t tell me your girl is sucking you off right now! what a fucking animal you have.” you hear sero’s voice laughing through his headphones and kirishima’s breathing is ragged when he denies it. but good god, the feeling of his slowly thrusting hips into you for the next ten minutes was more than enough for his friends to quickly realize that you were not sucking him off, but instead riding him. 

⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆

midoriya izuku was studying intently when this cruel idea came across your head. his face practically buried within his fifty different notebooks for some test that the hero agency he was currently working as a side kick was having. you admired his tenacity, it was a skill you truly wished you had.

but he had been studying for days and was passing every mock test you made for him with perfect scores! nothing was tearing his attention away from his studies. not even wanting to watch the old all might movies! so, you had to think about this.

what was one way to crack midoriya open like a nut? you blinked, a sly smirk spreading on your face. your boyfriend was a pervert.

announcing you were going to shower, midoriya nodded his head and you went to go get that done. soon enough you had showered and you spent a small amount of time to fix yourself in the mirror. making sure your wet hair looked hot on your body instead of like a wet dog. finally happy with your appearance, you strolled out to the bedroom, tossing the wet towel on his hunched form. 

midoriya looked around, his face confused as to why you would throw a towel at him. but the words died on his lips when he took in your form. despite how he behaved in bed, his cheeks flushed a beautiful red, and you enjoyed the way his eyes drank in your form. he turned in his chair, his studies forgotten. 

his leg rested upon his knee, his hands folding on his thigh.

“turn around, sweetheart,” he commands, his tongue dragging across his lips. “I need to take in how you look before I have my way with you tonight.” you only get halfway around before midoriya is pressed against you, fingers pressing bruises against your hips. “you’re fucking gorgeous…”

“shut up and prove it.”

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todoroki shouto was trying to find some good soba restaurants when you decided to capture his attention with this lewd trend. with his favorite hole in the wall shutting down due to the owners being too old he needed a new location and fast. you, on the other hand, was just horny out of your mind and wanted nothing more than to get your boyfriends attention on your needy body.

todoroki focused on the screen, his fingers on his chin while he studied the different reviews. he was taking this very seriously when you decided to strip naked behind him. you were grateful for how intensely he was taking his research because he never once looked behind him while you de-robed in the living room. but when you were ready, you strolled into the kitchen before him, naked as the day you were born, easily moving around. 

“shouto,” you called out, holding a random piece of dish-ware in your hands. “do you think we have enough plates?”

todoroki, never one to not make eye contact with you when speaking, looked up and froze. his eyes widened the slightest bit, but besides that he had no reaction to your naked state. well, almost no reaction. when his eyes returned back to his screen you could see the air around him reacting to the temperature change his body was going through. 

resisting the urge to laugh, you walked over to shouto, your fingers slipping under his shirt, nails lightly raking against his skin. “I want your attention,” you pout, lacing his skin with your intoxicating kisses that left his body scorching against your lips. “won’t you help your girl out?” 

todoroki expels a shaky breath, and without a moments hesitation he has you in his arms, hands firmly placed against your ass, your legs tight against his waist.

“you’re such a fucking tease, princess,” he growls in his chest, fingers pinching and pulling at your sensitive nipples. you moan loudly, his teeth biting onto your lower lip, gazes locked on one another. “I don’t like being teased.”

you ground against his forming boner, grinning when he shudders, “then do something about it, baby.”

[steve0discusses]

Yugioh Season Zero: The Yo-yo Crimes of Jounouchi Pt 2

OK, last we left off, we were in a different Youtube video. This one I grabbed off of 2 different videos (you’ll see their watermark in the corner change) and it makes me appreciate the quality that our other episodes have been, honestly. A little bit of compression going on in these, just to give you even more of that nostalgic feel of watching a bootleg anime from the 90′s your brother got from his weird high school friend’s Napster account.

Because this is done with subtitles on, it takes more caps to cover it. Part of why I rewrite the dialogue in these recaps is to help abridge stuff, and so consider yourself warned...there’s a lot of caps in this one. For most of you, that’s probably not much of a problem. But I’m just letting you know because...I sure wasn’t expecting it to be over 40 caps for half an episode, and I’ll probably just type less to make up for that. (Tumblr keeps Erasing All My Words anyway, so this is for the best, but that’s a tech issue I already went into in another post.)

(read more under the cut)

So, to start off, Yugioh and co. walk up to a bar like a really weird version of a bar joke and are like “do you know where we can find the yo-yo gang?” And, much like a video game npc, the bartender was like “I know EXACTLY what you’re talking about, and I heard every part of their intimate conversation. Let me give you all the details, children.”

Hey, PS, there’s an entire Wikipedia entry about the bar joke. And that is wild. Apparently the first bar joke was from Ancient Sumeria, and Wikipedia was like “Here is the Sumerian joke, but we Do Not Get it. Please don’t try to get it.”

The joke being: "A dog walked into a tavern and said, 'I can't see a thing. I'll open this one'."

Damn. I can’t believe the Sumerians were onto meme humor before we ever invented memes. They were in the Galaxy brain over there in the land before time, holy crap. Depositing their memes knowing that 7,000 years later mankind would look at the world’s first joke and be like “I don’t get it!” while all the millennials and zoomers with our MB of nonsense memes on our phones are like “No. I get it.” Good on you Sumerians, that is freakin the best joke ever made. 7000 years to get to the punch line of confusing the hell out of all us. Bless.

They promptly tell Miho that everything was resolved and that she should go to bed and she was like “Cool!” and exited stage left. Bye, I guess. Anzu also went home, but she didn’t have to be tricked into doing it, she just went the hell to bed.

(PS, I just realized that if I want to write less...I should probably not look up Wikipedia articles about the world’s first ever bar joke. But y’all, habits die so freakin hard, and I just feel like it’s very pertinent to this Yugioh recap, although I know it’s really not.)

Yuugi and Honda decide to visit the warehouse and harass Jounouchi. In the context of the show, they’re going out of their way to pull their best friend out of society’s systemic downward pull of a life of crime and most likely turning into exactly like his Father. But, the way that it’s storyboarded makes it look a lot like these kids just show up out of the corner and this gang was like “Damn it, again? OMG small children, please leave us alone!”

Honda hands over the symbolism sash, to which Jounouchi symbolically says “Nyeh.”

And Honda didn’t take it very well.

After tending to his kidneys for a little while, Honda decided to go back at it again at the Krispy Cream and do some sort of insane parkour over this completely ordinary fence.

Ah, the very first instance of real duel law where you duel over a relationship. In later seasons duel law is invoked for things like Mai’s marriage and the right to date Tea (and then just kind of forgetting you ever won the right to date Tea twice). But to think the very first time was Honda dueling for the right of Jounouchi to be part of nerd gang because Jounouchi had fallen to the dark side yo-yo gang across the street run by some 40 year old man with blue hair.

How many times is Honda gonna fight with a broom? Like are they just magnetized to his location? where are they even coming from?

Freakin janitor powers over here, put him in a Final Fantasy style RPG. I want to see what his limit break would be.

Not like it matters, because Hirotani very quickly explains why these yo-yo’s are at all a threat.

Which honestly shouldn’t be...so lethal? Seems like the weight is all you need, not really the spikes. But it’s at least stronger than Honda’s janitor stuff.

Unfortunate for Honda that he just destroyed an antique.

So with lightning reflexes, Yuugi does what he does most:

The death yo-yo ricochets back and does this little itty bitty scrape to this guy’s face and he’s real bothered by it. Although it’s like...well dude, you’re a 50 year old high schooler, I don’t think people will notice the scrape compared to everything else falling apart in your life.

And so then the Yugioh Season Zero team was like “oh shoot is it time to torture Yuugi???” and they got hella excited.

Like I thought it was just Yuugi’s class that were a bunch of disturbing criminal disasters, but I guess it’s the whole city. Like...was Yuugi’s class the good school?

I mean, it can’t be, there’s no way...

but like...is there a good school in this universe? How does anyone survive till graduation? If you so much as disgrace a yo-yo, you will get the torture treatment that I sure did expect in Yakuza games, but not so much in Yugioh, tbh.

Just a reminder: This is the third time we’ve beat up Yuugi this episode. Within the first meeting of Yuugi and Hirotani, he beat the tar out of Yuugi within eye shot of Jounouchi. So like...Jounouchi was reallllllllllllllllly lax on that deal, right? Like...he took his toot sweet time to realize “yeah this just ain’t ever gonna happen.”

And then the yo-yo wars begin.

Just like Solid Snake crawling through the radiation chamber.

Hirotani throws his Fyper-yoyo, Jounouchi intercepts with his Eireboy, and Hirotani’s completely terrible yo-yo just flies off the string again because Hirotani should have just sticked to using his fists. No wonder they wanted to recruit Jounouchi so badly, their yo-yo game is so off.

We never get a door to darkness in this episode, dipping our enemies into mind horrors. Instead, we get home-alone style traps. But, this makes sense. Not only do the show makers have to make Yuugi avoid solving problems with magic in front of Jounouchi, they also have to make it Jounouchi’s choice to leave Hirotani behind. If Yuugi did it for him in like...some sort of duel law situation...then that sort of leaves out Jounouchi’s choice in the equation.

Not like this ever really comes up in later seasons, since who even follows through with duel law and marries Mai? But like, it does feel like Season Zero calls out the later Seasons a bit in this regard. Honda got beat up because he tried to win Jounouchi back by force (or game, I guess.) That was just another form of coercion on the heels of Hirotani’s. What Jounouchi actually needed was to make his own decision to leave.

...most other anime I’d be like “I’m sure that’s just a translation error” but not this one.

So Yuugi runs to the roof where Jounouchi will never see this.

My audible sigh reading this line about fight club roof.

These stupid gang members went into Yuugi’s native territory, not just a fight club roof, but on a warehouse? They were dead before they arrived.

This was like maybe 3 frames of animation in just rapid succession, it was pretty silly and good.

Reminder that like 4 minutes ago, Yuugi was about to get like executed on a meat hook.

Speaking of getting executed on a meathook:

Hope you like the idea of glass in your eyes, because this anime’s got it.

They chase Yuugi around, in a sequence that was done mostly to conserve frames, so you rarely saw the ground until this shot:

Lots of falling down this episode, but unlike Tea, who fell from a warehouse ceiling once and just kind of rubbed her ass after and was like “ah damn it.” these guys won’t come out of it virtually unscathed.

Also, Honda is here now:

Jumping off of his symbolic sash trapeze, he decides to do in Hirotani for good.

Hey so like...walk the dog is a fairly gentle walk that a yo-yo does slowly on the ground right?

Just pointing out how sensitive Hirotani’s fingies are.

And he...didn’t appear to be dead, so I don’t have to add to the bodycount...but it’s gonna be a real long road for recovery.

And now, with the gang back together Jounouchi is back at school knee deep in make up assignments he’ll probably completely ignore since we know that in a years time, these fools are going to be trapped on Pegasus’ island, and at that point school will be just that place you talk about when you try to remember why you’re friends with Bakura.

---hey aren’t those chairs attached to the desks?

Because...holy crap, Anzu.

Honestly this is what you see before you die, but I guess Jounouchi died off screen after the episode ended, so I don’t have to add him to the deathcount (again). RIP.

Alright! That took like...8 tries to get Tumblr to save this one, but it managed! (well...I guess “managed” isn’t the word you’d use for a typing program that takes 8 tries to save)

Next time, we’ll be back to S5, for an arc I’ve heard is kind of boring. We’ll see. If it truly is, I can condense episodes into fewer posts. Or maybe it’s a secret gem? I guess we shall see.

And if you just got here this is a link to read all the Season Zero recaps from the start:

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yuugi-muto/chrono

(there’s also a link to read all the Yugioh posts we wrote from the start in chrono order but straight up, this file won’t freakin save, and I just can’t even will myself to look up that link again. It’s on the home page of this blog on the right.)

[bitchiha]

hey!!! can you maybe do any of the boys that your heart would like and the request is; “them seeing/meeting your ex boyfriend for the first time” | so like the shisuirequest??

A/N: Yes I can write this for you!! I chose to write it for Kiba, Naruto and Sai! Bc Sai doesn’t get enough love =(^.^)=

✎ Meeting their s/o’s ex boyfriend!

Kiba

So allow me to paint the scene: it all starts when Kiba is walking you home from one of your routine walks together. He’s got his arm around your waist and he’s telling you about how Hianata almost passed out this morning when Naruto said hi to her. You both laugh as he finishes the memory and Akamaru trails behind you two panting happily.

You live on a pretty busy village street. So you normally see people you know all the time around your house. They’re always passing by to get groceries or go to one of the food stands nearby. So when someone calls out your name you turn around casually — expecting to see Shino or something.

But who you did not expect to see was your ex boyfriend running up to you, pushing passed people on the crowded street without batting an eye. He was kind of a douchebag.

Kiba immediately stops laughing as he feels your back tensing up around his arm. Akamaru starts growling lowly as a response to sensing both yours and Kibas alert.

Tbh tho.. The reason you’re probably the most panicked is because this is Kiba Inuzuka, you’re hotheaded boyfriend who’s just a smidge bit possessive... and he’s meeting your ex boyfriend who’s overconfident and well, for lack of better words - a douchebag.

Your ex walks up to you two and sizes up Kiba and omfg that pisses your boyfriend off. “Y/n, who’s this guy.” Definitely shows his canines (is it an accident? or did he do it to intimidate this dude? You’ll never know.)

Anyways, your ex is cocky as shit — let’s call him Makki. So he interrupts you before you even get the chance to explain to Kiba who he is, “-Oh y/n, you’ve never mentioned me? I’m Makki, her ex boyfriend.”

Dude probably eats up the pissed off look on Kibas face. Like he’s yikes lmfao he’s really pissed off.

Like who does this cocky shit think he is?? Kiba is ready to fight lol “Oh yeah buddy, that’s real good for yo-“

Your ex just cuts him off... like blatantly ignores Kiba and turns to you, “It’s been a while y/n, you still look as gorgeous as ever...” he winks at you and Kiba growls LMFAOO, but Makki just ignores him. “We’d been together for so long y/n, so how come I never knew you liked... dogs so much.” He stares at Kiba right when he says dogs and he gives him this appalled expression on his face

Kibas confused for a second bc dogs are cute....“But there’s nothing wrong with dogs- oh wait! Hey were you trying to insult me you knucklehead!”

HOLD KIBA BACK HOLD KIBA BACK FOR THE LOVE OF GOD

So you’ve got your boyfriend held back, but you forgot about Akamaru.. rookie mistake. Now that giant dog is running towards Makki and the boy starts sprinting for dear life.

Kiba has a good laughing fit at the sight, “that’ll show him.” But you’re concerned because yes your ex is a douchebag and you did enjoy watching him run away scared, but you don’t want Akamaru to get in trouble for this. So you tell Kiba to go find Akamaru this instant.

“All right all right I’ll get em now... See you tomorrow, same time as today?” You nod hurriedly, wanting him to go Asap. You watch him run off before opening the door to your house and going inside.

Which was another rookie mistake.

Once you were inside he stopped running. He placed his hands behind his neck in a relaxed way as he strolled down the street, whistling like he didn’t have a dog to chase down.

“Have at em’ Akamaru”

Naruto

Yup.. you guessed it, this takes place at Ichirakus. It’s a Friday night and you two had no missions or other commitments to take care of, so he swung by your place and insisted you two go out for ramen.

So there you two sat, chatting away between mouthfuls of ramen when your ex boyfriend slides into the seat next to you.

Narutos oblivious tbh.

Like your ex just sits an elbow on the table and looks at you with a smirk, “hey, y/n, long time no see.” And you’re like.. ew wtf are you doing here.

Unlike Kiba, Naruto can’t pick up on your distaste, he just thinks it’s an old friend of yours. “Hey babe, who’s this guy?”

Your ex just introduces himself by his name and you decide to leave it at that, if you tell Naruto he’s your ex he will just get difficult to handle. So, you introduce Naruto as Naruto to avoid your ex getting all competitive too.

So you kinda avoid all relationship talk altogether and just completely skip over that fact. Honestly you’re half glad you did because Naruto actually gets along with him. Like for starters they both like ramen, are knuckleheaded and very loud. You definitely have a type. And they’re super funny too, so the whole time they’re just kinda laughing with eachother.

Had a good 15 minute long conversation about their favourite instant noodle brand and roasted you for the brand you liked. “Really y/n, that’s shameful.” They both say it in unison.

Also, your ex didnt have the intention to come into Ichirakus and crash your date, it was just a coincidence. So there was no ulterior motives to his presence and he’s not the type of guy to do it tbh. To top it all off he ends up paying for the ramen. Your ex literally pays for both you and Narutos ramen.

Such a weird experience for you tbh, but it’s also kinda funny to watch them both oblivious to your relationship with them.

At the end of the night when your ex heads home, you tell Naruto. Like you’re strolling through the busy Friday night rush and you finally spring it on him because he won’t shut up about your ex.

“Wow that guy was so cool y/n, never knew you had friends like that!” “Well actually Naruto, hes sorta my ex boyfriend.”

His eyes pop out of his head. “WHAT and you’re just telling me this now??” He’s in his head like: damn I should have showed off more or I should have made more jokes to prove that I’m the better one. He’s also like: shit he’s so cool how can he compete???!!1!1!1

Tries to hate your ex from then on, but they’re just so alike he literally cannot.

Luckily you don’t ever run into him like that again.

Sai

So.. let’s just be real here.. if you’re dating Sai you clearly have a type. You go for those emo little artsy boys. The only problem is that your ex boyfriend was an emo preppy rich art boy. You couldn’t stand his attitude anymore so you two broke up.

The only problem is that you live in the Leaf village and there’s very limited art events, so you would always bump into him. Luckily you hadn’t run into him with Sai around.. until now lol

You’re with Sai at an art exhibit that you managed to get him to submit work for. He was hesitant at first, but he gave in because you kept asking, and if he was being honest he wouldn’t mind showing some of his pieces.

So there you two are, standing together like that emo art couple that you are when your ex boyfriend walks in. He literally looks like the definition of avant garde. When he sees you he’s prepared to make some condescending comment, but then he sees Sai and he’s like: oh shit

Let’s be real here if anyone saw you and Sai together it would be an “oh shit” moment. You’re just an art power couple. That doesn’t mean your exes snobbiness would let him back down though.

So, this dude wants to prove he’s superior. When he walks up to the two of you he flat out interrupts the conversation and is like, “y/n, nice to see you,” then he turns to Sai and jusy gets down to business “so? You like art, then?”

Sai doesn’t comprehend the hostility in your ex’s tone so he answers it with a smile, prepared to tell him that this is actually his exhibit before he’s Interrupted again. “-Oh so you like art then? Okay, describe what mediums are used here.” your ex points at one of Sai’s paintings, not aware that he literally fucking painted it because he didn’t let Sai finish speaking.

So of course Sai answers and goes into a whole ramble about what mediums and why and how they bring out the details. Your ex kinda stands there like: “oh shit” again bc damn, he knows his shit.

He just points at another painting and is like, “what about this one.” And as your ex turns to study it better himself he realizes it’s literally you. It’s a painting that Sai did of you when you two first met eachother, you’re laying on the grass laughing and there’s orange hues dancing across your face indicating that the sun is setting. It’s one of Sais absolute favourites.

It’s such a bomb ass fucking painting and your ex just kinda stares at it confused and shook and you have to explain, “my boyfriends work is in this exhibit, he painted that one of me.”

But as I said, your ex is a douchebag and he’s not going to let your boyfriend get a compliment from him so he just goes, “hmph, it’s nothing special.”

And that kinda bothers Sai because that’s his girlfriend in that painting therefore it is very special.

You know where this is going. Naruto said the same line to him before LOL

So Sai hits him with this signature line, “just like your dick.” AND HE SAYS IT W THE FAKE SMILE LMFAO

Now your ex is literally dead. Like he’s flamed. On the floor straight up incinerated. And your trying to hide your laughter.

Security has to escort the guy out.

Very memorable moment for the two of you.

10/10

[mourntheantagonist]

I’m sorry about your exams mine are coming up soon and I’m about to shit a brick about it ngl but at the end of the dad tests can be made up or classes retaken. grades don’t define you and tbh they’re not a measure of success either. I’m sure you’re a good student who tried.

Prompt:

Meet ugly: billy likes to jog at the park but his run is cute off went this huge ass wet dog all muddy and shit cuts him off and weaves between his legs. He trips right into a muddy puddle and twists his ankle. Steve runs up to him all apologetic and billy is yelling at him about keeping his dog on a leash, but billy has no choice but to accept the guys help cuz he can’t walk on his own.

Thank you so much for the kind words and thank you so much for the prompt. I loved this idea and got a little carried away and it’s not 100% what you asked for but I still hope you enjoy it :)

read on ao3

Billy loves the rain. Living in California meant a good rainfall was few and far between. He hated to praise Hawkins, Indiana, but he loved that it rained.

Rain in Hawkins was also very much unlike the rain in California. Down in the southwest corner of the country, rainfall was less like a shower and more like a sprinkle. The rain was only ever powerful enough to form little droplets in his hair. Never enough to cause soaking wet clothes or windshield wipers past the lowest setting. It was nothing like that in Hawkins. Instead it was heavy showers. Soaking his clothes until they were dripping. Needing to drive carefully to avoid hydroplaning. But not too carefully. He had to take advantage of those curb-side puddles that were perfect for splashing pedestrians. 

If he had to say anything good about Hawkins, it would have to be the rain. But one thing that was just slightly better than when it was raining, was when it stopped. When the roads were still wet, and the sky still cloudy, but not a single drop of water falling to the earth. It was a weirdly nice feeling. The post rain smell filling his senses. It always seemed to be the perfect temperature. Not too hot. Not too cold. Refreshing was the best way to describe it.

It’s perfect jogging weather. It was always far too hot in California to actually jog the way he wanted. The heat sucking every bit of energy out of him. And trying to breathe in the California smog was just a bad idea in general. Running in the post rain bliss was something else entirely. Taking in only the freshest air. He felt rejuvenated after every run.

That’s how he turned into the guy who stared out of his window every weekend as raindrops fell upon the pane. Looking up at the grey sky waiting for the clouds to part and the rain to subside so he could go out for his run. This was another good thing about Hawkins rain. While it rained often, it didn’t rain for long. It was a perfect balance the way Billy sees it. 

This was how he got to know Hawkins a little better. He ran through surrounding neighborhoods, he ran to the high school and on days he felt really good, he ran into town. 

Weirdly enough running was a lot like surfing. Not so much in the activity itself, but for the purposes that it served. Because it was more than just exercise. It was a nice way of escaping everything. His dad, Susan, hell even Hawkins. Because just like surfing he was able to put himself into a different zone. Enter a separate reality from the one he was stuck in. He could put on his Walkman and run like he had no destination. 

But sometimes he got into the zone a little too much. If the town hadn’t already known him as the bad boy from sunny California, they surely knew him as the punk kid with no respect that was constantly bumping into them on the street. Jaywalking in front of their cars. Splashing carelessly into puddles of fresh rain water. It’s not like he planned to stay in a small town in Indiana. Billy was not the small town type. Some nice rain wasn’t going to suddenly change him into that type of person. And it wasn’t like he couldn’t find rain elsewhere. The Pacific Northwest has both heavy rain and beaches. Maybe he’ll go there instead of going back to California. But the point is, he doesn’t care about what his reputation is. It doesn’t matter. So he pisses off the locals without hesitation and just tries to make the best of it while he’s trapped here.

But maybe Billy should have paid a little more attention. While some humans have the common sense to move out of the way, some animals are lacking in that area.

He’s running through this trail he found in the woods surrounding Loch Nora. In his defense he has no reason to be expecting any company while jogging through the middle of the woods. Perhaps he shouldn’t only be worrying about the company of people and rather whatever wildlife lurks in this part of the country. 

Thank fuck his only run in was with that of a disheveled golden retriever covered in mud and not some seven foot tall bear. Billy doesn’t notice the dog until it begins weaving in and out between Billy’s legs. The dog is damn lucky Billy didn’t step on her tail. She’s got a leash hanging from her collar with no owner on the other end. But Billy only knows that part because the same leash had managed to wrap around both of his ankles, bringing him to his new position of being face down in a muddy puddle with an apparent ache forming where the leash had bound him.

So there he lies. Face down, ankles wrapped, a dog licking the mud off his face, and to top it all off, the owner has finally decided to make an appearance. Something in Billy is not even surprised to find that when he rolls over onto his ass he discovers that the owner is none other than Steve fucking Harrington. Because of course it’s Steve fucking Harrington. The universe can’t allow Billy to have even one normal day. 

Billy notices Steve before Steve actually notices him. He’s about fifty feet away looking in the other direction shouting what he assumes is the mutts name. “Trixie!” Billy is trying to untangle himself from the leash, but not before Trixie makes a run for the human calling her name and yanks herself free, tugging at his right ankle before breaking loose. Billy doesn’t contain the shriek in pain as it almost dislocates the bone. Shit. Something is definitely wrong.

Steve hears him of course. Hears the girlish scream that Billy would never produce voluntarily. Billy is trying to hoist himself up to maintain some of his dignity, but to no avail. Once Steve has made the distance and is standing at his feet, and billy has succumbed to his spot in the dirt, he fires first.

“Keep your damn dog on a leash.” He spits. If he can’t be at eye level, or even stand up, he has to assert his dominance somehow.

It’s only then that it actually clicks for Steve that Billy hasn’t just parked himself there in the dirt for fun. 

“Oh shit dude! Fuck I’m sorry about that. There’s not usually anyone around here so I thought I’d let her do her business y’know? Also she’s not my dog, I’m just pet-sitting for my neighbor. What am I doing? You don’t care about that. Are you okay? She didn’t bite you or anything, right?”

Billy should be mad. Like his ankle might be broken because this idiot doesn’t know how to take care of a dog. But all that rambling and profuse apologies was kind of… cute? Nope. Nope! Billy shut that thought down immediately. 

Billy gestures down toward his feet. “Fuckin’ took me down by the ankles. You could learn a thing or two from the bitch. Seeing how you play basketball and all.” 

Steve brushes off the comment and lends a hand to help Billy up from the ground. He winces when he applies pressure. Still through the pain he slowly tries to walk away.

“Wait! Dude don’t you live on Old Cherry? That’s like a mile from here.” Billy is just comically limping away from the scene. Logically he knows he’s not getting home on his own. But the last thing he wants is to accept charity from Steve Harrington. 

“I don’t need your help Harrington. I’ll be fine. Go back to your castle.”

Steve just ignores him and throws one of Billy’s arms over his shoulder. “Look, my house is like a block away. Let me drive you home so I don’t have to hear about the news of your body being recovered from the Eno River.”

Begrudgingly, Billy accepts the support, huffing out a ‘fine’ before letting Steve guide him and the dog towards the Harrington household. 

Steve was right. It was definitely closer than his house was. He could already see between the trees the nice looking two story building. Billy had passed by it before on his drives, but only ever in the dark. It looked much different in the daylight. Somehow it looked even more abandoned. Like everything was still kept up. There weren’t vines growing along the side. It looked clean, but it gave off this strange feeling of loneliness. Like few people had ever passed through it. 

The only thing about the house that wasn’t up to code was the pool. The water was green and filled with dead bugs and fallen leaves. Looked like it hadn’t been cleaned out in months. He vaguely recalls hearing about the story of that Barbara Holland chick. Died in his pool. He figures there’s some correlation there. 

By the time they make it to the Beemer, Steve finally gets a good look at his ankle. In only the matter of a couple minutes it’s swollen dramatically and he can see a faint purple forming underneath the skin. He also sees some blood stains forming at his knees, seeping through the grey material of his sweats. And Billy is filthy. He’s got mud on his face and all over his clothes. His hands are all scraped up, most likely from the fall.

Steve’s brain is working hard. Steve has every reason to let Billy go on his own. Not even three months ago the guy was on top of him, beating him nearly to death. Why should Steve be showing him any kindness? But then he remembers back to him and Jonathan. Sure the fight wasn’t nearly as brutal. But Steve has said some fucked up shit to him and Jonathan never held it against him. Sure, Steve actually apologized, but in his own way, he thinks Billy had too. Not so much with words but with his actions. He had left Steve alone ever since that night. He was still aggressive when they were on the court, but the trash talk had dissipated. So maybe there was some remorse there. And look, it’s Steve’s fault his ankle is fucked up so the least he can do is help him get fixed up and get home.

“Okay look. I have to get the dog settled inside before I can take you home. How about you let me take a look at your ankle and then we can both go our separate ways?” 

Billy crosses his arms, balancing on one leg now that he’s no longer being supported. “That wasn’t the deal.”

“Actually the deal was I’d drive you home. That hasn’t changed. Just come inside. Your ankle looks fucked up and I know a thing or two about first aid.” Steve goes back towards Billy and puts his arm back in the same position it was before. Doesn’t give Billy time to protest before he’s made it through the front door. He guides him to the kitchen table where he instructs him to sit down. Then Steve leaves him there along with Trixie. 

Billy scans the kitchen. He’s kind of surprised to see that it looks pretty typical for a kitchen. Nothing too fancy about it aside from the clearly new appliances. It’s just average. Oak cabinets. Basic granite countertops. Doesn’t match the exterior at all. 

Steve comes back without the dog and with a first aid kit in hand. 

“You don’t have to do this man, just take me home.”

Steve just ignores him and kneels down in front of him and works at the laces of his shoe. “It’s my fault you look like you were just mauled by a bear so let me fucking do this alright?” Steve pulls off his shoe frustratedly which probably wasn’t the best idea.

“Ow! What the fuck dude?!”

“Sorry.”

“Look, I’m not here to help you feel better about yourself.” 

Steve pulls his sock off anyway. This time with slightly more care. “Just shut up and let me finish this so I can get you out of here.” Billy slumps back and Steve takes a closer look at his ankle. It looks bad. Clearly broken. “I think you need to go to a hospital. This looks like more than just a sprain.”

Billy's eyes go wide and he gets a little shaky. “No hospitals” he says bluntly.

“Billy I really think you should consider-“

“Did you not fucking hear me? I’m not going to a hospital.”

“Why not?”

Billy scoffs. “Your pretty little head couldn’t handle it.”

“Try me.”

“No. We’re not doing this Harrington. Fix me up and take me home.”

Steve rolls his eyes and gets up from where he was kneeling. “Wait here. I’ll be right back.”

“Not like there’s anywhere I can go.”

Steve comes back with a pair of sweats and a plain black t-shirt. He tosses them onto Billy’s lap. “Think you can put these on without my help?” Billy is puzzled. “Look I’m not going to let you get mud all over my car so put on the damn clothes.”

Billy is currently in grey joggers and a long sleeved navy hoodie. It’s honestly the most covered up he’s ever seen him. While Billy is dressing himself, Steve is preparing a wet washcloth and grabbing an old package of frozen peas from the freezer. Steve manages to catch a glimpse of Billy with his shirt off. It’s not even close to the first time he’s seen the guys shirtless. Hell he’s seen the guy fully naked. But this feels different. This time feels more vulnerable. This time it’s not a decision he’s making himself. This time Billy has several belt marks running across his back. The shirt is on just as soon as he makes the realization. Steve just tries to act natural.

“Okay. I’m going to wrap your ankle. You’re going to ice it while I clean up your knees. Then I’ll take you home and we never have to talk to each other again. Deal?”

“Deal.”

“Good,” he hands Billy the wet washcloth. “And wash the dirt off your face.”

Steve pulls up a chair so he can sit in front of him. He gently brings Billy’s right leg up to rest on his thigh and places the frozen peas so that they hug his ankle. He slowly rolls up Billy’s pant leg and inspects the damage. Luckily it’s just some minor scraping that a couple bandaids should fix. He grabs some cotton balls and antiseptic from the kit and begins dressing the wound. But he can’t stop thinking about the belt marks.

Any other kind of injury and he could brush it off as Billy going out and picking a fight with someone. But these are unmistakably not from that and Steve doesn’t like entertaining what it actually means. 

Ever since basketball season had ended Neil had been less careful with leaving marks. 

Because he’s in a t-shirt now, Billy can see as the belt marks wrap around his upper arm.

“That why you don’t want to go to the hospital?” Steve points to the markings.

“Leave it alone Harrington.”

Steve just keeps his eyes focused on Billy’s knee. “Who did that to you?”

“I said drop it.”

“Was it your dad?”

Billy quickly jerks his leg forward kicking Steve in the chest. Not a good idea considering that probably hurt him more than it did Steve.

“You proud of yourself Harrington? Finally cracked the code? Glad to finally have something to hold over my head so you can take back your precious crown?”

Steve is still recovering from the blow to his chest. Didn’t really hurt. Just knocked the wind out of him.

“I didn’t mean to-“ 

“Cut the shit alright?”

“No! You cut the shit. Fuck I don’t give a shit about some stupid fake crown.” Steve heaves a sigh. “Look I don’t understand this exactly. But I get shitty dads.”

Billy is kind of just staring at him blankly. The prior rage seems to have disappeared but he can’t exactly tell for sure. It’s like for the first time in his life he’s actually carefully constructing his next words instead of spitting out whatever comes to mind first.

“Your Dad take away your allowance?” Nope same Billy as always.

“More like he’s never around. Cheats on my mom and my mom cares more about her reputation. I haven’t seen them in weeks now and if you asked me where they are right now I couldn’t tell you.”

Billy bows his head. “Shit. Sorry.” This is a different Billy than he’s used to.

“Can I get back to fixing your ankle now?”

Billy brings his leg back up and Steve carefully situates it back on his thigh. He picks up the package of peas that had fell to the floor and continues his work.

“Can I ask you one question?” Steve asks.

“One.”

“Is Max safe?”

Billy turns his head away. “Yeah.” It comes out a little raspy, like he’s choking on air. “He won’t touch her as long as I’m there.”

Steve’s starting to actually piece it all together. The little details he’s picked up on ever since he made his first appearance at Hawkins High in his loud blue Camaro. Suddenly there’s more nuance to every action he’s taken since then. 

“He shouldn’t touch you either.”

There’s a pang in his chest as he says it. As he watches Billy actively avoid eye contact. He can feel that he doesn’t believe him. That he thinks he deserves it. Because Steve has allowed himself to believe that he was just never good enough for his father. Never understanding that his father was just incapable of showing love. 

Billy doesn’t respond to that. Steve finishes wrapping up Billy’s ankle and patching up his knees, and now he’s helping Billy out to his car. With all this new information in his head he really doesn’t want to drive him home. But they had a deal.

As soon as Steve turns the ignition, Duran Duran starts blaring over the speakers.

“Figured you’d have shitty music taste.” 

“Oh shut up. Unlike you I actually like to hear what they’re saying. Not all the noise.”

“Still. Duran Duran is a different kind of awful.” 

Steve lets himself smile. Even though he’s being berated about his ‘shit taste in music’, he likes this kind of Billy. He’s not saying it to hurt him. It’s like a friendly jab. Maybe Billy Hargrove isn’t exactly who he first thought he was.

The trip is rather short. Old Cherry isn’t too far from Loch Nora when traveling by car. Hungry Like the Wolf hadn’t even ended by the time Steve pulled up to the curb.

Billy doesn’t move to get out of the car. Steve momentarily forgets about his ankle and let’s himself think he’s staying put for another reason. Maybe it has nothing to do with his ankle. He hasn’t said anything. 

Billy wants Steve to say something. Because something weird happened back at the house. The moment Steve said ‘he shouldn’t touch you either’ felt off. He felt something and he needs to know that Steve felt it too.

Steve turns the car off and slumps back into his seat, both hands now tightly gripping the steering wheel. He’s staring past Billy at the house with a look of worry. 

“Look. If you ever need to get away, my doors always open.”

Billy goes to look back at him. Steve is still entranced by the front door. 

“We’re not friends, Harrington. You don’t have to act friendly.”

“We could be.”

“What?”

Steve is looking at Billy now.

“Wouldn’t it be easier if we didn’t spend all this time hating each other and became friends? Forget crowns and keg stand records and fucking Tommy H. and just try to get along? We got two months left until we’re out of here so why not make the best of it?”

“You want to be my friend Harrington?”

Steve puts his head in his hands and groans. 

“We don’t have to be friends but we could at least be civil with each other. Just,” he takes another look at the house. “please come over when shit gets bad.”

Billy hesitates, but he nods assuringly. 

“You gonna be alright in there?”

Billy scans the exterior of the house. “He’s not home yet so I should be good.”

“And your ankle?”

“I’ll be alright.” He seems unsure, but Steve chooses not to push the issue further.

“Okay.”

Steve unbuckles his seat belt and goes around the back side of the car to the passenger side and helps Billy up out of his seat. As soon as he slams the door shut, rain starts to dump all over them.

The two are facing each other and Billy has half of his weight resting on Steve’s shoulders. Billy catches a glimpse of Steve’s eyes. Droplets forming on his eyelashes. His hair is already dripping fresh rain water onto his cheeks. It’s disorienting. 

Billy isn’t one for sappy shit but this is some freaky sign.

“I don’t want to be your friend Steve.”

Before Steve has a chance to respond his lips are pressed to Billy’s. It’s a quick exchange. Blink and you’ll miss it kind of thing. Billy has both his hands on Steve’s shoulders and is looking at him questioningly. Like he’s waiting for him to punch him or kiss him again. Steve chooses the latter.

Steve surges forward and crashes into Billy. It lasts longer this time. Still quick. But there’s enough time to appreciate the taste of each other’s mouths mixed with fresh rain drops. Steve pulls away first and is quick to offer a reassuring smile. They both look up at the rain coming down, and back to each other.

“Let’s get you inside.”

Billy has another reason to love the rain.

[sinkix]

♡ Haikyuu!!│Boys as your Roommate HC’s Pt.2│Ft. Kuroo, Bokuto, Kenma & Kageyama ♡

Since the last one did well I decided to do another 2am shit-post consisting of my bby HQ bois as your roommate so I’m v sorry if it’s messy and seems like rambling but honestly what did u expect. <(￣︶￣)> The more I write these the more I just want to summon satan and make them come to life man I love them sm.

You can find Pt. 1 here

E N J O Y ~ <3

◃:✮.❃⭒ ◃:✮.❃⭒ ◃:✮.❃⭒ ◃:✮.❃⭒

Kuroo:

So. Damn. Annoying

But in like, the best way possible??

Constantly teases and irritates you while cooking or when it’s your turn to do the chores.

“(Y/N)-kuuun I think you missed a spot”

Proceeds to show swabbed finger with the tiniest speck of dust on it with the biggest shit eating grin he can muster

You have constant competitions who can clean more thoroughly and rip into each other as a result.

I mean there’s worse things to compete over I suppose??

He likes to make it a habit of waking you up by throwing his HUGE ASS BODY ON TO THE BED IF YOU OVERSLEEP.

WHOLE BED JUST CREAKS AND DIPS UNDER HIS WEIGHT.

Wraps his arm around you and gives amazing cuddles tho so its worth it

Borderline suffocating you though just so you get up.

Also, don’t wake Kuroo when he’s had only a few hours rest

just, don’t. If you value your safety.

Last time you tried to haul him out of bed in this state he threw a pillow at you and BITCH WENT TO GRAB THE ALARM CLOCK NEXT but u dashed out the room before he could lob it. 

Speaking of which, pillow fights. 

so many.

 Y’all are always throwing random stuff at each other just to startle one another

You both make a conscious effort NOT to aim for the head though so I guess its ok???

The aroma of coffee always greets you in the morning and it’s become hella comforting since you’ve just come to associate that smell with him.

His bed head is 1000x more extreme in the morning which you tease him relentlessly for and def has bags under his eyes but it looks cute.

sleep deprivation but make it chic.

He is much more of a night owl i’m making it canon idc - however usually has to sleep early due to club activities starting first thing in the morning.

He wakes up especially early because he knows he not only has to haul himself up at an ungodly hour but Kenma as well since he NEVER gets up on time otherwise.

Kenma lives a few blocks down from you guys and you often kick it as a three.

Sometimes he stays over just to save the extra effort of Kuroo going to his place.

It’s always v chill with the three of you as you get on really well and just play mario kart till 2am.

which again, big mistake. They end up nearly being late to practise so it’s kinda counter productive lmao

worth it though.

Kuroo is a salty loser js and will definitely wave his arms in front of you or shove his ass in your face to block the screen so he can overtake you.

Sometimes forces you to go on early morning runs with him but it’s actually really nice since you watch the sunrise together while sitting for a water break in an empty field

Almost poetic if it wasn’t for the constant teasing and bickering like an old married couple.

Kenma is VERY thankful you have become his new victim for those morning run routines.

Bokuto:

SCREAMS FROM THE ROOFTOPS EVERY DAY

MY GOD

Actually pretty quiet in the morning?? Like the lil owl is just waking up so he usually just mumbles a good-morning and rubs his eyes its so damn cute

Usually pretty good about getting up on time but some days he needs a kick up the backside to get him out of bed.

He fully made you drag him out of the covers once before he was even willing to entertain the idea of getting up.

those 30 seconds felt like a 30 minute workout since he is so HEAVY.

I feel sorry for the neighbours on that day tbh

“Bokuto-san wake up.” 

“NNNgg-aaagGGHHHHH AGGAAASHIII”

“It’s (Y/N) you dumbass G E T U P”

You aren’t safe for long though because ONCE HE’S AWAKE HOMEBOY IS RARING TO GO.

Frequently makes y’all pancakes for breakfast with a frilly pink ‘best chef’ apron on and it’s fucking hysterical. 

actually has several aprons and one of them has a stock image of abs printed onto the front.

Pancakes is the only thing Bokuto is competent at so don’t expect anything else without the kitchen combusting

His pancakes are SO damn good tho like bitch who taught you to flip like dat.

Does a lil shimmy with his body and throws it back each time he flips so it basically aggregates as a performance too since hes so extra

One time the pancake landed on the floor and he was in emo mode for a whole day LMAOOO

boy was spiking while mourning the fallen soldier.

Akaashi was so confused as to why he walked into practise in such a solemn mood.

had to stifle his laughter once you told him the reason.

For some reason you have this tradition to play board games on a Friday night

Obvs you have to let him win and be a cocky ass bc otherwise he will be sad until the next morning.

sis will be in a slump while brushing his teeth over losing a game of monopoly.

Doesn’t expect you to come to practise with him but is always grinning like a dork the whole way there when you accompany him.

His game is always A1 on those days so Akaashi is eternally grateful.

Often tries to make you go to the gym with him SINCE Y’ALL BEST BELIEVE BOKUTO BABY AIN’T SKIPPIN LEG DAY.

Actually a really good workout partner though, he’s so hype and encouraging.

Grocery shopping is a nightmare, y’all come back with 3x as much as what was on the list while Bokuto just looks really sheepish and guilty like a dog who shredded up the sofa.

Kageyama:

Your conversations are very minimal at first until he adjusts to living with you.

Hella private with his living space and his bedroom

You always suspected he’s got some like weird alien cult meeting from Fiji going on in there with how shady he acts sometimes.

After a while though he’s pretty chill and doesn’t mind TOO much when you invade his personal space or go through his stuff.

I’d still be careful though an angry Kags is not a pleasant one.

He’s a minimalist, so if you ever get decorating done it’s usually you that takes the reigns since as long as it’s got a roof, a stove, a bathroom and a bed he could literally not give a fuck.

Unexpectedly easy to please over the smallest things, make a meal for him after a long day of practise and it’ll be hard for him to contain an appreciative smile.

Do NOT pull him up on it though bc he will get defensive 

just embrace it bro you won’t see it often.

V good at getting up on time and hella quiet in the morning when going about his routine, it’s easy to forget he’s in the house a times so at least he’s considerate.

Honestly doesn’t care whether you come to practise or not it makes no difference to him. Though the closer you both get he will sometimes wait for the moment you walk through the door and mentally slap himself for doing so.

Sometimes plays music in his room but it’s always really quiet and hard to decipher unless you press your ear up against the door.

The boi plays some BOPS though which is really surprising???

Usually takes charge of stuff like grocery shopping, cleaning etc. 

Control freak™️ here to assist your household services. 

He’s pretty dense though with these matters and needs some guidance at times lmao

Will not get the item on your list unless you CLEARLY SPECIFY AND INCLUDE THE WHOLE DAMN TITLE OF THE ITEM

You’re surprised he doesn’t request you illustrate the fucking bar code.

In the end you sometimes end up caving and just either going with him or going in his place.

Once he warms up to you y’all like cracking little jokes at each other and pulling one another’s leg.

if you get up even the slightest bit late he’ll just throw a lil “good afternoon” with a smirk on his face.

Sometimes he will come and chill with you on the couch to binge watch shows and it’s just a really relaxed atmosphere.

has really good taste in movies and series??

Honestly just a hella respectful roommate as long as you respect him and his privacy in return.

You once stuck his knee-pads in the washing machine on a high temp and they came out ready to fit a 6 year old.

You still suspect he holds a grudge to this day.

He also tried to give them to Hinata and never have you seen him more genuinely offended lmao.

Kenma:

The pair of you always end up oversleeping and it’s a genuine problem ur the definition of a disaster duo.

If it wasn’t for Kuroo strolling into your sleeping quarters most mornings you guys would sleep till the suns ready to set again.

Bless up Kuroo.

Constant video game marathons and y’all always compete to top each others time

It’s basically just the speed-run side of YouTube but under one roof.

Cannot and will not cook he is too LAZY for that.

Only thing he will do is stick an apple pie in the oven.

He’s courteous though he leaves you like,,, a 1/8th slice

smh.

You mostly get take-out or you’re the one that ends up cooking.

Veeryyyyy quiet, only noise in the household is the occasional snicker or lil conversation.

he has such a soothing voice hnnnnnnnnnggggg

The only time it’s remotely loud is when you play video games but even then the volume is quite low.

You usually end up crashing in his room from playing games till the crack of dawn and Kuroo frequently scolds the two of you.

you don’t listen though lmao.

For some reason you both end up in a hugging position when you wake up and neither of you have addressed it.

Except for the sus side eye look Kuroo gives the pair of you when he finds you like this.

He knows if he mentions it you’ll both infiltrate his apartment and choke him out with a console cable lololol.

You order most of your groceries online bc Kenma’s social anxiety will skyrocket and not allow him to be in a store full of more than 10 people, poor bby.

It works out for you too since why tf go there when you can have it delivered to your door.

You often binge watch anime together and he has GREAT taste mind you.

You made him watch a romance anime once and he secretly enjoyed it.

Since then he will very awkwardly request to watch them occasionally and you can’t help but smile.

The only time you clean is when you have to, like bins brimming with trash before you decide to take them out.

You accidentally broke his fav controller once and he didn’t talk to you for a week LMAO.

Still handed you one to play split-screen though so you knew he wasn’t entirely resentful.