#dammit 😆

[katerinaaqu]

Having family roots from Greeks from the parts that perfectly align with the courses of both Odysseus and Neoptolemus and being a short Greek smart-ass troll myself made me realize

HECK NOW THAT EXPLAINS WHY MY KARMA IS SUCH A BITCH!

I am potentially descended from the two greatest war criminals of Troy 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[go-see-a-starwar]

HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN - THE LAST MAN (2019)

[johnwickb1tsch]

hmmmmm why does my accent color show pink on desktop but white on the app??? grrrrrrrr

[beautifulstarsbeastars]

He doesn’t have the right to call himself a father or say he and Melon are family when he literally says this right before that:

I don’t think it’s fair to call someone evil for abandoning their child but please understand that when I say that, I mean that a person who abandons their child does so (usually) because it was the only way to ensure that child’s future and safety. It may not always be the case but I do not think it’s right to just assume all parents who abandon or leave their kids behind are bad people when they may not have had any other choice.

This is not the case for Melon’s father!

I’m not sure if he knew about the abuse Melon suffered from his mother (probably not) but he had to have known that she had been killed and be like ‘hey, is my son ok?’. He didn’t have to ‘step up’ and be Melon’s guardian but he didn’t even do the bare minimum of just making sure he went to a good home after his mother died.

And if he truly was afraid she’d devour him, why didn’t ’Gary’ feel the same about Melon?? Sure, maybe he didn’t think she’d eat her own son but then why would she name him ‘Melon’ (assuming that that was actually how she described Gary’s ‘taste’-if she had in fact bitten him or something)?!

I do not consider Gary evil because he abandoned Melon.

I think he’s evil because his lack of action after leaving his leopard girlfriend shows how little he cared about his son and he likely did not care about Melon’s safety (like if he lived, died, was abused, devoured, homeless or so on).

So when he calls himself Melon’s ‘father’, after abandoning him as a baby and never contacting him despite his mother dying (in a supposed break in no less) when he was still a child and only now showing up when he learns Melon is fighting a Turf War in the Black Market, you bet that I’m rolling my eyes and laughing at him!

[scorpiusmalfoylovesoscarwilde]

guess who has covid 😆😆😀😀

[nerdieforpedro]

😆😆😆

I love this so much! 🖤🖤🖤 Why is this how I picture my smut scenes, is this why can’t write them now? 😂😂😂

(I used Michael Sheen from “Prodigal Son” because I’m doing a rewatch. 🌺)

When you’re trying to visualize positions as you’re writing sex scenes 

[haute-honey]

astro obs.

🤸🏽‍♀️ Libras are always expected to give others something. Others always seem to look to them to give them their time, energy, love, affection, hell even their life. Of course they have issues with people pleasing because people naturally want to take take take from them. When they try to establish boundaries, all hell breaks loose leading them to never try to establish them again.

🤸🏽‍♀️ Speaking of Libra, I'm seeing a lot of posts about how *gay* we are lol Which made me wonder and think back on all the times I've had other women who I thought I was in true platonic friendships with fall head over heels in love with me and admit their true feelings to me. First time it happened I was literally in 4th grade.... How do we hetero Libras turn the gayness off or are y'all going off of what is stereotypically gay?

🤸🏽‍♀️ Libra rising are indecisive because when they make a hasty decision or impulsive decision, 9 times out of 10 it blows up in their face. Let them take their time dammit!

🤸🏽‍♀️ + libra rising kids not only experience bullying/jealousy/evil eye from their peers, they'll even experience it from full grown adults.

🤸🏽‍♀️ I saw someone mention that not liking 6th house synastry is because you enjoy toxicity in relationships...and I disagree. I think 6th house synastry depends on the type of relationship and the sign that it is in. For me, the 6th house works more for friendships and professional relationships rather than romantic relationships. As a straight woman, the sign my 6h is in is not ideal for a relationship for me due to other placements in my chart.

🤸🏽‍♀️ Furthermore, what synastry works for you best or what synastry you find to be most romantic is based on you and your chart. Don't let any of these "astrology girlies" pump your head up with bs just because it works for them.

🤸🏽‍♀️ Fellow scorpio placements (esp you scorpio suns) I'm gonna hold your hand when I say this, someone making you aware when you're exhibiting toxic/bad behavior does not equate to them being unloyal or betraying you. You need people around you that'll hold you accountable for the fucked up shit you do sometimes. No, it doesn't make them a snake or mean that they don't love you but my god, get a grip girl and be so motherfuckingly forreal.

🤸🏽‍♀️ Aquarius men aren't the challenge yall think they are... they're just detached. If that is not your style of love, move along.

🤸🏽‍♀️ Lilith energy is for women/feminines. If you are looking at Lilith through a synastry chart, the one who holds that power when it comes to how Lilith is placed is the feminine in the equation (if there is one). Men/masculines are subdued by Lilith. Not the other way around. For example, if a man's Lilith conjuncts a woman's Venus, he won't be able to use that power over her because he will not connect to it and will not know how to use it.

🤸🏽‍♀️ It is SO FUNNY when I read other observations on Libra placements. Its either we are mean girls/bullies or we are fake/people pleasers lmfao As someone with a lot of prominent Libra placements and influence, I have always had to deal with the fake allegations or the bitchy/intimidating mean girl allegations. Its like if we're not kissing ass we are the meanest bitches but if we are trying to make an effort to please everyone, we are people pleasing fake ass bitches 😆 I need y'all to pick a side and stay there when addressing Libras.

🤸🏽‍♀️ To say a venusian ruled person (Libra/Taurus suns, risings, venus) is a copy cat is laughable because they are the ones getting their swag stolen or having people wanting to be their friends to siphon their aura/vibe. Ex: Cleopatra a Taurus sun (Venus) had her "friend" copy her entire style/aesthetic.

🤸🏽‍♀️ I applaud the female/feminine Libras who have given up on pleasing others and have taken on the bitch allegations with pride because fuck these people. Y'all are weirdos who expect pretty women to fit into whatever box you feel like they should to appease your own self esteem. Seek help.

🤸🏽‍♀️ Degrees absolutely have effects on the natal chart and don't let anyone tell you otherwise! You might resonate more with whatever sign rules over the degree of your sign or rising rather than the actual sign that sit in those placements.

🤸🏽‍♀️ I saw someone say that a unevolved Sagittarius man is scared of sex........... while that could be true they are more often than not sexual deviants when unevolved.

🤸🏽‍♀️ Speaking of sagittarius, Jupiter ruled people quite literally NEED Jupiter to help them out and provide them with more luck than the rest of us because these people are the ultimate self sabotagers. They love trouble, they enjoy creating chaos often then not. And Jupiter is always there to put out the fires they start.

🤸🏽‍♀️ You can't really tell anyone what synastry is best for romantic relationships vs which ones you deem worse because at the end of the day it is all about preferences. If you like a familial feel to your relationships, you'll probably like 4th house synastry. However, if you're like me and come from a veryyyy dysfunctional family, 4h synastry will repulse you. So figure out your own vibe and what you like in a relationship and go from there.

🤸🏽‍♀️ Women with prominent sagittarius placements often are seen by outsiders as the "cool" or "fun" moms when really they can be verrrrrry neglectful towards their children. Ask me how I know lol

🤸🏽‍♀️ Saw someone say that Scorpio sun and moon placements can be backhandedly bully people and this is when I have to bring up the issues of generalization when y'all are making these "observation" posts. Any placement has the potential to be a bully. Literally any of them. However, why Scorpio sun and/or moon might stand out is because they can be LETHAL with their words (ex. Tia Kemp - Scorpio sun). Like they really know how to cut somebody up with their words and they are QUICK with it. Kind of like a scorpion with their tail. So be mindful and don't take it there with them if you can't keep up because you'll need therapy after they get done with you.

🤸🏽‍♀️ Scorpio moon women are either resenting other women or being resented by other women. It can go either way.

🤸🏽‍♀️ Gemini women are the ladies that look a mess 99% of the time and I like that about them.

[satorusugurugurl]

I love your writing!!!

Can i req Jjk men accidentally hurting reader during sex? If that’s ok w u, if not, it’s all good <33

JJK Men: Accidentally Hurting You In the Middle of Smexy Time

Summary: Things get a little too passionate in the middle of sexy time. And well, let's say tears are shed and not in a good way.

Characters: Gojo Satoru, Geto Suguru, Nanami Kento, Choso Kamo, FAB!Reader

Word Count: 2,337

Warnings: Smut, mentions of blood, biting, injury, crack, fluff, it's a fluffy crack post

A/N: This was so much fun to write! Love my some little crack posts like this!! I hope you enjoy! 😆

Gojo Satoru:

You smirk as Satoru throws his head back against the pillows. His mouth is hanging wide open as your rock back and forth on his cock. Slowly teasing him, clamping down to the point that he’s writhing under you. His hands are holding your hips, squeezing you, urging you to go faster, to do something!

“Y-Y/N, I need more, fuck!” He bites down on his bottom lip, looking at your conjoined bodies. “You’re killing me, babe, please, fuck.”

“More?” You cooed your thumb, brushing over his bottom lip. “Does my poor Toru want me to fuck his brains out~?”

“Y-Yes!!” He cried out, growling as you slowly inched off his cock before slamming back down. “Hah! Ah fuck~!!”

You bounced up and down, and the squelching sounds of your pussy were nearly silent as Satoru cried out. How cute was he? Crying out like a whore while you used his cock. So pretty, the sight had you throbbing around him as you arched your back, playing with your breasts.

Satoru was whimpering as he watched your thumbs graze over your erect nipples. That wasn't fair! He wanted to suck on them, lap his tongue over the sensitive buds. He moved, thrusting up into you as he tried to sit up. The deep thrust and sudden jerky movement had you wobbling. You fell forward. Ready to brace yourself on his chest only to meet his head.

Your foreheads collided together in a sickening crack. “Ow!” Your hand flew up to your head as Satoru rubbed at his forehead, grimacing. “Ooooh fuck that hurt!” You pulled off of him, hurrying to the bathroom. “Toru!” You snarled, touching the already swelling goose egg forming on your head.

“S’ your fault.” You glared into the mirror as he stood in the doorway. His cock was still erect, your arousal glistening on the shaft. “You fell forward!”

“Because you thrust into me!”

“I only moved because I wanted to suck on your nipples.”

“And I got a goose egg instead!” Your pout was adorable as you poked at the bump on your head again. “Dammit! What are you going to do to make it up to me?” Satoru stiffened, eyes quickly meeting yours in the mirror.

“I'm sorry?”

“I said, what are you going to do to make this up to me? You promised you'd never hurt me. And look who broke their word Sa-to-ru-” Each syllable of his name had his cock twitching eagerly. He moved, lifting you off the ground and carrying you back into the bedroom. “Oh my god!” You squealed as he threw you on the bed, slotting between your legs.

“I’ll make the pain go away,” Satoru whispered, dragging his tongue down your body. “You'll feel better in no time.” He winked before dipping his head between your thighs, his matching goose egg on full display.

Geto Suguru:

“Mmm~ nngh fuck Y/N, you taste so fucking good.” Suguru breathes out against your pussy before his tongue flicks at your clit again. “So sweet and tangy, fuck I want more of you.”

You’re a mess underneath him; your back is arching off the living room floor, your shorts thrown somewhere behind the couch as the warm spring breeze blows through the room. It carries the scent of fresh blooming flowers and the promise of sunny days. Which meant allergy season was to follow with it.

You gasped, hands gripping Suguru’s bun as he pulled you closer to his mouth. “S-Suguru~!” His lips sealed firmly around your clit as his dark eyes locked on yours. Why did he look so pretty when he was eating you out? That had to be a crime somewhere in the world. But as his teeth ever so gently grazed over your clit, all other thoughts went flying out the window. “F-fuuuck! Hah! Ah fuck!”

Suguru moaned, alternating his technique from nibbling your clit, to writing his name against you, using the tip of his tongue. His skills were being used at full force, eager to get you to cum all over his tongue before he fucked you right here in the living room. He knew it wouldn't take much for you to cum.

You tightened your grip on his hair, a familiar feeling settling over you. But it wasn’t your orgasm, no, this feeling was in your sinus’. It was a burning sensation that had your nose scrunching as your toes curled. Feeling a sneeze approaching, you covered your nose with your elbow as you sneezed hard, jerking against Suguru’s face. The sudden jerky movement from your sneeze startled your boyfriend so much that he slammed his teeth shut.

Just as he was nibbling on your clit.

You screamed in pain, your thighs clamping around your boyfriend's head as you yanked him away. Those dark eyes that had just been filled with lust were now filled with fear. You curled in on yourself, hands dipping between your legs, cupping your pussy. This new throbbing sensation was not at all enjoyable. Suguru sat back, staring at you in shock as tears stained your cheeks.

“Oh fuck, I bit your clit.” He stated the obvious.

”Yeah! No shit!” You barked back, tears still flowing down your cheeks as you grimaced.

“Oh fuck, what do I need to do? How can I help? I’m so sorry.”

”I don’t know, Suguru!” You sat up, still cupping your wet sex. “No one has ever bit my clit before!!”

The silence is almost palpable between you before Suguru turns to your couch. “Hey, Google, what do I do if I bite my girl—”

“Don’t ask out Google Home, you freak!”

In the end, Google provided you with the answer: Hot water, antibacterial soap, and ibuprofen.

Nanami Kento:

Hot water hit your back as Nanami fucked you from behind. Fuck it was so steamy, and you were talking about the water. Nanami was like an animal slamming into you over and over again. His grunts and growls bounced off the bathroom walls, making your cunt throb harder. God, he was so hot; everything about this was so hot.

All this happened because you mentioned you’d never had shower sex before. Best confession you’ve ever made!

Nanami grabbed a handful of your hair by yanking it. “Head up, love, I don't want you getting dizzy.” He was utterly perfect and patiently led you through this experience. Nanami was making it an overwhelmingly pleasurable experience! “Now, put your foot up here.” He grabbed your leg, positioning it on the edge of the tub. “And enjoy the ride.”

That was the only warning you were given before Nanami pulled all the way out before slamming back inside of you. You arched, silently screaming as he set a pace that had your skin slapping against each other in a beautiful harmony. God fuck, holy fuck he was so deep in this position. You could feel his cock hitting your g-spot and cervix perfectly with each thrust.

“N-Nana! Nanami!” you cried out as he slammed into you harder with a grunt, water going everywhere, from the walls and the side of the tub for the mere force of his thrusts. “K-Kiss, kiss me.”

“As you wish.” Kento’s lips found yours in a heated, passionate kiss. You felt yourself drawing closer and closer to your orgasm. Feeling you could squeeze around his thick cock, Nanami slid his hand over your stomach, pushing down on your back and making you arch.

This was a position you had done countless times in the past. On hotel balconies, against walls, and in his office. The only difference this time was that water was involved. When he suddenly pushed you forward, your foot on the tub's edge slipped. You fell forward, grabbing the shower curtain for support.

“Y/N!” Nanami tried reaching you, but it happened so fast. You slipped, falling out of the side of the shower. Your shoulder collided with the bathroom countertop. Nanami knew it was bad the second he heard a loud pop. The pain hit you like a train as you landed on your side, gasping out a strangled scream.

Nanami turned the water off and jumped out of the shower, grabbing a towel and draping it over you before dropping to his knees. “Oh fuck, that hurts.” You winced, your fingers and neck numb. “That hurts bad!”

“Here, let's get you up.” As Nanami helped you stand, both of you winced at the same time as you assessed the damage. That popping sensation was the sound of your shoulder dislocating; your arm dangled uselessly at your side. “Y/N, I'm so sorry. I should have been more careful.”

“No, no, it's okay! It was an accident, Ken.” You sighed, turning to look up at him. “We should go see Shoko.” Nanami huffed out a sigh, nodding his head before leaning down to kiss your cheek.

“I’ll call us a car.”

You followed after him, groaning. “Do you think Gojo will be there?” Nanami froze midstep, turning to face you as he got dressed. “He wouldn't let us live this down. He might even submit our story to one of those trashy television shows like ‘Sex Sent Me to The E.R.’ or something like that.”

“On second thought, we're going to the hospital.”

Choso Kamo:

“Choso!” Yuuji yelled from the living room of the apartment. Voice muffled from behind the closed door of the bedroom. Choso loved his brothers, but right now, he was more in love with being balls deep inside of you.

Your boyfriend's hand was clamped over your mouth as he rocked into you as hard as he could. If you both were quiet enough, maybe he'd leave. Yuuji called out for his older brother again as you whined against his palm. His cock throbbed, the bed rocking faster as Yuuji muttered something that sounded like a goodbye before the apartment door opened and shut.

The second he realizes you two are good, he pulls his hand away. “Awe, Cho~ are you shy?” Choso glances down at your smug smirk before he flushes.

“Y-You're his teacher. I-Isn't it strange?”

You purse your lips in thought before smirking. “What’s strange is the fact that you aren't fucking me right now, Choso~” With wide eyes and red cheeks, your boyfriend did as precisely as you asked.

His hips bucked forward, his large hands moving from the sides of your head to your thighs, where he spread your legs further apart. You screamed out, throwing your head back in pleasure as his trailed kisses over your collarbone. He was so deep, you didn’t want to let him go; your cunt hugged him tight, making it difficult for him to pull out.

The constricting grip your pussy had on him made Choso’s eyebrows scrunch together as his balls slapped against your ass. You were so wet and tight. If you kept squeezing him like this, he wasn’t going to last very long at all. But from how you squirmed, surely you weren’t doing any better than him.

“Choso~! Choso~! Oh fuck~! Yes, baby, baby, please~!!”

“Y/N, fuck! Haa— I’m going to cum~ I’m so close~!” He gritted out, the bed squeaking under you from the force of his thrusts.

“Choso!!” He flinched, hearing the door slam open again in the living room. “Bro, I know you’re here! I can see it on the Find My Friends app!”

“Just like that! Just like th-mmmmph!!” Choso's hands flew up, hitting you in the mouth and nose. Harder than he meant to. Your eyes stung as your nose throbbed painfully against the palm of his hand. “Mmnn.” You cried out, tears welling in your eyes.

Choso’s head was turned to the bedroom door. His chest was rising and falling as he listened to Yuuji, and oh god, was that Megumi with him? Why were they heading this way? You both had to do something! Oh, right, you would know what to do! Choso’s head whipped back to you as he felt something warm spreading over his palms.

Tears were sliding onto his fingers, your tears. Choso quickly jerked them away, and he was met with a gory sight. Blood was smeared under your nose and over your lips. The stream of tears made pink streams run down your chin as you sat up, reaching for a tissue.

“Y/N?! Oh sweetheart, fuck I’m sorry! I’m so sorry!” He glanced at the palms of his hands that were stained crimson. “I didn’t mean to hit you that hard!”

“No! It’s okay!” Your voice was muffled as you squeezed gently on your nose to stop the blood flow. “You were distracted. Plus, it’s not like I haven’t been hit in the nose before.” You gave him a thumbs-up with your free hand. “Just the first time it’s happened when I was having sex!”

Just before Choso could take over holding the tissue for you, his door flew open. “Choso!?” Yuuji was about to walk in, but he froze, taking in the scene before him. His older brother, under the sheets naked, was in bed with his teacher, who squeaked, hiding her also very naked body against his brother.

And there was blood, lots of blood.

In a panic, Choso tried to get up to explain what was happening. But Yuuji slammed the door before silence rang out. Choso’s head dropped while you kept holding the tissue to your nose.

“I-I’m going to the movies with Megumi and Kugisaki. I’ll be home later, Choso.”

“A-Alright, be careful.”

“See you on Monday, Y/L/N-Sensei!”

Choso sat there mortified as he processed what had just happened. Not only did he unintentionally hurt his girlfriend, but his younger brother had walked in on him. The stuffy giggle that slowly had him turning his head to look at you. Your smile was wide, and your cheeks were flushed. That shy grin made his shoulders feel lighter. He knew the two of you would get through this awkward situation together.

[moonbaby26]

Sorry, I don’t know who made this chart. But it made my day. 🤣🤣🤣 My beautiful marines. I love them. Let me add three pirates though. Just crack below, not intended to be serious. Please don’t mind me.

Fic Masterlist

You’re laying in bed together. You turn to them and ask: “If I was a worm, would you still love me?”

Doflamingo

“The…fuck? Of course you’re a worm! You’re all worms!” The angry silence hangs in the air as you stare at one another, but he can’t take it for long before he has to keep talking in his agitation. You’ve riled him back up now. “Idiot. Didn’t I warn if you said such a stupid thing again, I’d fill that mouth of yours with something far more attractive?” Yet he still smirks at you because he was going to do this later anyway. But you’ve just guaranteed that it will be now instead and even that much rougher. Way to go you stupid worm, he thinks to himself. Hope you like the carpet burns on your knees and a sore throat to match.

Corazon/Rosinante (honorary pirate 😆)

“…….” He stares at you to the point that you start to get upset, but his expression changes to him being equally devastated as soon as you are. He grabs his notepad from the nightstand and frantically writes on it. It says: “Of course I’d still love you! But you are not a worm, please don’t ever think that!” He proceeds to accompany that writing with the most heartfelt, adoring stare you’ve ever seen on a man. He then cuddles you intensely for the rest of the night. The only worm he sees here is himself. He’s terrified that you’ll realize this too eventually because he does not deserve you.

Law

He gives a drawn out sigh, thinking that this is exactly what happens when you spend too much time with Shachi and Penguin. “Go. To. Sleep.” He says in utter annoyance before looking back to you and the puppy eyes you are now giving him. And this is something else that you have obviously learned from Bepo instead. It’s infuriating, but he just wants to go to sleep dammit as his resolve finally breaks. “Fine. What species of worm are you? Does it reproduce sexually or through parthenogenesis?” You don’t even know what that word means though. And he realizes that. Congratulations, you’ve now earned a biology lecture on the reproductive habits of a very specific flatworm species he had to dissect back in school at Flevance. You fall asleep while he’s still talking.

[katerinaaqu]

Odysseus: You can say whatever you want about me!

Neo: It was so unfair! He didn't deserve the armor

Odysseus: *remembering how he persuaded Agamemnon to give Aias a burial*

Odysseus: ...that was low blow son!

[decaffeinatedcandycane]

Accidentally added to chat Y/N

Enjoy!!!

Soap added Gaz, Ghost, Cap and Y/N to the chat

Gaz: ???

Soap: I summon you to fulfill your oath.

Ghost: Not again

Cap: Mactavish

Soap: It all began in September

Y/N: Wtf?

Gaz: Who are you?

Soap: Shit

Cap: Did you seriously add a CIVILIAN to this server?!

Ghost: From this angle, you can really see his vein popping out.

Cap: Watch it

Gaz: 😆

Cap: You too

Gaz: 😬

Y/N: I am just gonna go

Y/N left the chat

Soap added Y/N to the chat

Soap: You are staying. And, you are helping. Clearly, you have been chosen to assist for this task.

Cap: Sergent!

Ghost: Johnny?!

Gaz: Kyle!

Ghost: ??

Soap: ???

Gaz: I feel excluded.

Soap: This isn't about you.

Gaz: Clearly.

Cap: Are you both on something?

Cap: John?!

Soap: He's talking to himself, asking if we are high

Ghost: Oh no

Gaz: 🤣😶‍🌫️

Y/N: Can I go?

Cap: Yes

Soap: NO

Cap: Sergeant

Soap: Captain

Y/N left the chat

Soap: But, they are prettyyy...

Soap adds Y/N to the chat

Soap deletes last message

Y/N: Saw that

Soap: Hehe

Y/N: This is creeping me out.

Cap: Don't worry. They are harmless. Stupid, but harmless.

Soap: Bullshit.

Cap: Soap

Soap: Ask the hostages we interrogated

Gaz: How do you always miss the point?

Y/N: Are you the mafia?

Ghost: Military

Y/N: Military mafia?!

Ghost: No

Gaz: 🤣🤣🤣

Soap: We are the good guys, who get information from the bad guys... in unsettling ways.

Gaz: That's about right.

Cap: Y/N

Y/N: Yes

Ghost: We won't hurt you unless you talk.

Cap: God dammit, Ghost.

Y/N left the chat

Cap: Nobody adds them!

Soap: Aww

Cap: We will meet them in person.

Ghost: Why?

Cap: Because a certain someone exposed our servers to them. We can't risk information leakage. Plus, we scared them away. Who knows what they expect, now.

Soap: Yay for visits. Nay for the rest.

Cap: You and I are going to have a talk. You are sitting next to me the whole ride.

Gaz: Yay, road trip. 💅

Soap:...

Ghost: This should be fun.

[sweet-evie]

I have so many thoughts and headcanons about the Gojo clan... You have no idea. 😭 Also, I'm talking out of my ass and everything I say is fictional and from pure imagination... Don't take it seriously.

The Gojo clan may or may not span 40 generations based off of how long ago Suguwara Michizane lived...

and ummm... That's a lot of generational wealth 🤯.

Imagine if you married into that -- married Satoru Gojo. You're automatically the highest-ranking woman in the family, on top of having access to all that money. 😆

Listen, some of the world's richest families like the Rockefellers currently span 7 generations and they're worth billions of dollars.

Damn I really need a full backstory on the 3 major clans. I need to know how rich they are and how they maintained and/or grew that wealth until the modern day.

There's plenty of drama and info on the Zen'in clan. We get crumbs and pieces about the Kamo clan...

But info on the Gojo clan is close to nada, and I WANT TO KNOW MORE ABOUT THEM DAMMIT! I'm so thirsty for more worldbuilding in JJK, you have no idea.

At this point, just seeing Satoru's parents would make me happy.

I have a headcanon that Gojo's family, apart from being sorcerers and political powers in the jujutsu community, are probably mixed bags of company shareholders, politicians, lawyers, philantropists, etc.

Yeah, it's said that the Gojo clan is a one-man army that consists of Satoru Gojo, but I interpret that as Satoru outshining every other family member -- especially every other practicing sorcerer in the family. (There's simply no surpassing the wielder of the Six Eyes and the Limitless technique).

The Gojo clan is a sorcerer clan first and upper tier members of Japanese society second.

Some of Satoru's male relatives are probably Shinto and Buddhist monks. The point is to have a foothold in influential religions among non-sorcerers.

I like to think that maybe one sorcerer in the clan has Limitless... maybe his grandpa, but the man was never as efficient with it as Satoru Gojo.

Maybe the majority of the sorcerers in the Gojo clan fight with Grade 1 cursed tools and good-old hand-to-hand imbued with cursed energy. Maybe other cursed techniques exist within the Gojo clan too... It's all just overshadowed by Satoru.

I also think the Big 3 actually tend to keep to themselves (e.g., the Zen'ins having their own military unit). Their spawns don't ALL go to Jujutsu High, do they? It's a choice for them rather than a necessity. Like, Jujutsu High was established primarily for sorcerers who come from "somewhat normal" backgrounds, unlike people from the Big 3. Satoru was born into jujutsu sorcery and it's the only life he's ever known, whereas people like Suguru who come from non-sorcerer families are brought into Jujutsu Tech to learn about what it means to be a part of jujutsu society, and to teach them that they're not, you know, mentally ill because they can see curses.

Quick side note, I imagine Jujutsu Tech as the bridge between the branch of the Japanese government that is aware of the existence of curses and the jujutsu society as a whole. It just kind of makes sense that way, especially when you consider where their funds to pay people come from -- not from thin air, that's for sure. I mean, how else do the higher-ups get the funding to pay their actively practicing sorcerers, especially the special-grades? Does jujutsu sorcerer pay roll come from citizens' tax money?

Also... On top of Satoru Gojo having access to his clan's generational wealth and assets, how much is he getting paid as an instructor at Jujutsu Tech? Is that salary separate from his special-grade sorcerer salary? Is he technically working 2 full-time jobs?

Man is rolling in cash...

Anyway, I want to circle back to the point that Satoru Gojo is the most active sorcerer in the Gojo clan when it comes to interacting with the higher-ups and being a constant presence in Jujutsu Tech. Obviously, his fingerprints are all over Jujutsu society politics as well.

I headcanon that Satoru comes from a big family, actually. Satoru is an only child, but I imagine lots of cousins and aunts and uncles and distant relatives, and the Gojo estate is probably one massive compound where most of the family lives. Like, they can live in that huge ass ancestral property if they want too... There's plenty of room.

The clan also likely owns several other properties and probably small temples or shrines across Japan. They have one ancestral seat and other properties. That goes for the Kamo and the Zen'in clans as well.

That real estate portfolio be popping.

As for actual size, think Heian estate in ancient Japan big. It's expansive.

Maybe the sorcerers in the family would be fond of living in the Gojo estate. The others, especially the ones who hold positions in the government or the military or who have public-facing jobs have their own homes registered under their own name, and not... you know... registered under the family with the clan head.

Another headcanon is that the clan head is capable of assigning properties and other clan assets to family members if he chooses to. Satoru Gojo can give away houses if he wants too, like a nobleman or European feudal lord. But for real, the Gojo clan might have been part of the nobility in ancient Japan, only losing their noble titles after the Imperial family changed the rules around the 1940s.

Speaking of, it's probably not a reach to assume, that the clan head has his fingers in many many honey pots. 🍯 That is to say, Satoru Gojo has access to more money than he can spend in a single life time. And after he's passed, maybe the money just goes back to the surviving members of the clan.

I need to know Satoru Gojo's net worth.

I think each of the Big 3 has their own hierarchy and their own family politics. Again, the Zen'ins are a prime example...

For the Gojo clan, I headcanon that there's a small council of elders -- people way older than Satoru. Satoru's own father is probably part of that. Put his grandfather and a couple of uncles and aunts in there too.

How do they work? I imagine it's pretty similar to how the Small Council functions in Game of Thrones. Like, there's someone in charge of managing finances, someone who keeps an ear on clan politics, someone who has a foothold in the national military, etc.

I imagine they have a bi-weekly gathering. They offer counsel, but the final decision in any dilemma they discuss always falls to the clan head -- Satoru Gojo.

I also headcanon that Satoru has a penthouse somewhere in Tokyo -- a place he considers as his own residence, away from clan politics and the rest of his probably snobby family.

But Satoru is always busy, so his penthouse is way too clean. It looks like no one lives there.

This is the vibe of the penthouse... I have his penthouse in my Sims 4 game.

Speaking of snobby... The Gojo's clan general reputation? I would say... They're intellectual people, some of them are likely obsessed with history, and rigid and formal when it comes to observing traditions. I imagine they have a tendency to be really elegant.

Whenever the Zen'ins look at them, the stereotypical thought is, "Look at those pompous, snobby, jackasses."

In the succeeding years since December 7, 1989, the Gojo clan's sense of pride has only grown, because well... The most powerful and strongest sorcerer of the modern age came through their lineage.

Needless to say, Satoru Gojo is the pride and power of the Gojo clan.

Satoru's parents were practicing Grade 1 sorcerers... really active in the field, and Satoru's grandfather was Clan Head for a time.

Satoru's mom retired from fieldwork after she married Satoru's dad and after she got pregnant and became a mom. I love my headcanon that she's a shrewd politician and is all about maintaining good standing with the elders while doing intelligence gathering. The woman maintains a network, so she's always in-the-know.

Satoru doesn't make it easy for his mom especially when he goes around and does what he wants. e.g., Becoming a benefactor to Megumi, saving Yuji and Yuta, etc. She's actively working to cover his tracks wherever she can.

Satoru's mom is actively looking for a wife for him, for obvious reasons. The plan never came to fruition because of the Shibuya incident and Ch #236.

Satoru's father is more politician than actively practicing sorcerer by the time Satoru was studying in Jujutsu Tech. He's all about maintaining solid relations with the other clans, the elders, and collaborating with the branch of Japanese government that knows of the existence of jujutsu sorcery. He probably works with the Japanese government too.

Satoru Gojo visits the family estate once in a while... for other business, but primarily for hearings and clan meetings. It's peculiar to look at during these meetings because Satoru is the only person in that room who isn't wearing traditional clothes. Like, I headcanon that he shows up in casual attire, or his Jujutsu Tech uniform, complete with the blindfold.

His mom probably tried to talk him into wearing traditional clothes for these meetings when he was younger, but it just never stuck. Satoru is Satoru, after all.

After Satoru Gojo passes away, I like to imagine the Gojo clan takes a bit of a backseat. It's probably the wiser course of action too, considering everything that's happened in Japan after October 31, 2018.

[I know some people think he's the only survivor of the Gojo clan, but you gotta think of the fact that he learned about Hollow Purple from some people. Someone taught him FBE as a kid.]

[johnwickb1tsch]

~ Enigmatic Stranger ~ Part 1 Part 2 WIP

a young!John Wick x fem!Reader dumpster fire😆… by the amazing @sweetwolfcupcake , the incredible @treedaddymcpuffpuff , & this weirdo @johnwickb1tsch

He’s following you. 

You know it’s the only explanation. 

You don’t really think he means you any harm, but…isn’t that how all those creepy stories on DATELINE begin? 

A neatly packed giftbag appears on your doorstep a few days later, containing your notebook and all your favorite pens. No note, but you know. 

He knows where you live.

You can’t call the cops–even if you wanted to. You just know it won’t do any good. 

And…you don’t really want to get him into trouble. You just want…

Well you don’t know what you want, dammit. A properly functioning brain around him, maybe. That would be helpful. 

The next time you’re in your favorite corner cafe, the barista tells you that your usual order has already been paid for. Happy holidays to you! 

Not nearly as thrilled about it as the nice girl was clearly expecting, you look around frantically. You know he’s here somewhere–in the corner? Across the room? That’s when you spot a flash of mocha dark eyes meeting yours from the other side of the window–outside. He gives you a smirk, and a little finger wave. 

Coward. 

You don’t know where you get the courage to march back out to the sidewalk with your fists clenched–maybe because deep down you know by the time you get out there, he’s already gone.

-------------

same order @sweetwolfcupcake @treedaddymcpuffpuff ?? :)))))))

[gallifreyinstituteforlearning]

Do Timelord’s have their own curse words?

Do Time Lords have their own curse words?

Gallifreyan society has a lot of slang and common phrases, and we'll focus on the ruder ones here - y'know, the ones you probably don't want to use in front of your Gallifreyan grandma.

There aren't so many 'direct' translations of swear words, but rather phrases and slang more attached to their culture.

The conlang can offer more, and also provide translations for these (mostly English) phrases, but we'll just look at these canonical ones for now.

🤬 List of Swears

D'Arvit: Unspecified curse word, might be something like "dammit!"

Fall off!: Possibly equivalent to "get lost" or "f--k off".

For Rassilon's sake!: Similar to "for God's/f--k's sake".

Gjara'vont: "of darkest thought". Possibly used as an insult to call someone sick-minded.

Little sheetsnacker: Likely directed at someone considered annoying or insignificant.

Old Pythia: An insult for females, like "old hag." Due to its context, it's probably used as a derogatory term against powerful women.

Omega’s Orifice: Self-explanatory.

Otherf--ker: Self-explanatory.

Rassilon’s Blood/Rassilon's Death: A couple of particularly strong phrases for obvious reasons - don't wanna be insulting Rassilon.

Rassilon's Rod: Cruder one.

Scares the staazula out of me: "Scares the s--t out of me".

Shobogan: Gets used occasionally as an insult for people who are perceived as particularly stupid or uncultured.

Rot in a black star: "Go to hell".

Shell snacker: Referring to someone who consumes hallucinogenic substances, particularly cerub nuts.

Sweet mother of Chaos!: "Sweet mother of God!"

We’re scrubbed: "we're screwed/we're f--ked"

What the Omega!?: "what the hell/f--k!?"

Yssgaroth curse you: Pretty gnarly threat, where the speaker wants you to turn into an abomination.

I should note that during the Time War any use of the names Rassilon or Omega was considered blasphemous.

🔞 The Untranslatable Curse

There exists a Gallifreyan curse that has no English translation and is considered so rude that it's been deleted from the Matrix:

🏫 So ...

While there's not so much in the way of direct translations, Gallifreyans attach plenty of cultural nuance to their profanities. So if they insult you, they're doing it in an irritatingly clever way.

Related:

Can humans/non-Gallifreyans learn to speak Gallifreyan?: How possible it would be to see a human speaking Gallifreyan.

Hope that helped! 😃

Any purple text is educated guesswork or theoretical. More content ... →📫Got a question? | 📚Complete list of Q+A and factoids →😆Jokes |🩻Biology |🗨️Language |🕰️Throwbacks |🤓Facts →🫀Gallifreyan Anatomy and Physiology Guide (pending) →⚕️Gallifreyan Emergency Medicine Guides →📝Source list (WIP) →📜Masterpost If you're finding your happy place in this part of the internet, feel free to buy a coffee to help keep our exhausted human conscious. She works full-time in medicine and is so very tired😴

[piracytheorist]

I have to admit, I'm not a big fan of promotional material for sxf constantly having Anya have a wide :D smile. Like I understand that it's a good visual and can sell good and wide especially to children, but it's getting a little... idk, painful, after a few times seeing a lot of them side by side? 😆

And like, I admit I'm a bit biased because I adore her Gremlin™ face, and that's not an easy sell for the audience the promo team seems to be going for. But the very thing about Anya is that she's very expressive, and you can have her with various happy and... "digestible", for lack of a better word, expressions.

Like, all of those expressions could be used in promotional material along with her beaming face. It shows her cute, proud, and determined sides, along with her trademark cunning side. They deserve to be shown to the world, dammit!

[xielianlover2]

The first Hualian's kiss was one of the funniest things I've ever read. Every page was funny sjksks.

First, Xie Lian reverting straight (ahem not so straight but anyways) to Crown Prince of Xianle and going who DARES??? Who could!?! NEVER in his LIFE have I been treated this way. If this were anyone else, he would have stabbed them way before they could ever lay their hands on him.

But it's Hua Cheng!! His San Lang. And can ghosts transfer air to me!? Don't ghosts drown?? (Yes, I memorized the kiss scene. My memory is terrible, but I remember this vividly. I need help.)

And he's feeling overwhelmed that he lost his sense of self. He literally felt so overwhelmed he felt like crying. That part just made me sjskksks, feeling many things.

And then they break apart and stare deeply into one another's eyes and there's like twenty paragraphs of Xie Lian's monologue of how everytime Hua Cheng appears he just looks more older, more handsomer, more better, and omg is that a widow's peak??? Look at his eyepatch that exceeds a beautiful murderous aura, which should technically mute his elegance, but it actually balances his good looks perfectly.

Like. Okay, Xie Lian.

Poor Xie Lian. He's in such a rattled state. That kiss was way too amazing, Hua Cheng.

Usually he doesn't know whether to laugh or cry. That's normal. Now he doesn't know if he's hungry or sleepy.

And oh, look. He lost his bamboo hat. The hat he had for the last 800 years (shit, don't cry again this is supposed to be funny dammit), gone because of how mind-boggling that kiss was.

"I... I can't find it. I'm leaving now. I'm going home to eat... I need to go collect some scraps..."

Dying. He's so shaken. He's full-on panicking. He's like this is it. Hundred years of locked up and nailed to a coffin is nothing. I finally lost my marbles.

And then Hua Cheng's like "...I'm sorry."

The scream that tore out of my throat lmao. Anyways. I 1000% believe Hua Cheng.exe also stopped working at that point.

Then he was rebooted back online once he realized that Xie Lian was just casually hobbling on his injured foot, which you know had a nail embedded deep into it.

And Xie Lian is just absolutely losing it, especially when he realizes they're in Ghost City.

Not all the ghosts exitingly shouting if Hua Cheng needs help raping Xie Lian 😭😭😭

Oh my gods. That part. And Xie Lian at this point just feeling grateful he lost his 'fake baby' and didn't appear pregnant anymore 😆 (MXTX is really pushing the mpreg agenda, huh?)

And then finally when Xie Lian calms down a bit, his next thoughts are like... the state preceptor only warned me about the wiles of women :((

Nobody prepared me for this!!! So, yeah, Xie Lian, how does it feel to be a demisexual gay.