#damian is trying to be nice i swear

[ky-landfill]

Do not be ridiculous, Drake. We are your family.

[olailamajnoon]

Bruce, who has a problem expressing emotions because he was teased for them in school as the "crazy Wayne kid"

Bruce, who used to clutch Alfred at night and wet himself due to his nightmares.

Bruce, who got flashbacks till his mid-twenties everytime he walked down an alley.

Bruce, who would hug a weeping Dick Grayson and stay with him until the night terrors were over, humming a soft lullaby that Bruce's mother sang for him

Bruce, who hardened his mouth and his life to keep the anger in check after Jason, because he knew if he didn't every criminal would pay.

Bruce, who sees Damian chopping up shrubbery and thinks "I was far worse as a child inside, it's a good thing he's letting it out"

Bruce, who can't walk by a homeless child in the street without calling his special Wayne Foundation liaison (who he keeps on speed dial) and asking her to find "one more spot"

Bruce, who sees Selina petting kittens and robbing the rich and thinks "if I could have had a life with her, that would have been nice"

Bruce, who looks at Cass' x-rays and sees her knit bones and swears to god he will break the bones of whoever's responsible for her upbringing

Bruce, who gives Tim projects that he himself can do faster because he sees attention-starved Tim trying to please him

Bruce, who looks at Clark smiling and thinks of what he can buy for his birthday to make him smile just like that.

Bruce to his parents in their graves after not being able to catch a criminal: I'm sorry. I've failed you. I'll try harder.

People who don't know Bruce: why is that man so unfeeling.

Bad DC writers: idk just that way i guess

[couldeatthatgirlforlunch]

The Lost Condom

Synopsis: You were in the middle of a spicy time with your boyfriend, when something odd happened: the condom disappeared. Inside. Of. You.

The solution? Go to the hospital.

The problem? Your family didn't know about your relationship.

Pairing: Jon Kent X Gn!AFAB!Reader; Platonic!Batfam

Tw: 18+; Only mention and slight description of genitals and sex, but nothing too explicit; All characters are aged up of course; English isn't my 1st language.

Word count: 1,8k.

Requested? Nah.

Extra notes: This isn't an original idea of mine, it's based on a real life story someone told me. Also the family finding out scene was inspired by this fanfic from @dccomicsimagines and this scene from Megamind. Also, eventually I will work on the asks waiting for me I swear 😭

General masterlist

So… You were in the middle of… Having fun… With your boyfriend… When suddenly, he said something that really confused you.

— Hmm… Babe… Where’s the condom? — Your head snapped back to look at him, since you were on all fours.

— Where's the ‘what’? — Your eyes were wide, unconsciously. Jon was blushing intensely, looking from your eyes to your entrance. He didn't know how to explain.

— I-I-I put it inside with the condom on, but now it's… Gone! — You narrowed your eyes. You watched him wrap and then enter you, you didn't feel him pull out at any moment, and even if he did, why would he tell you that he pulled out, took the condom off and then put it inside again secretly while you were still going at it?

You were both silent for a few seconds.

— Search for it! — You practically yelled at him, making him scramble to get off of you. You laid with your back down and legs open, looking at the ceiling, trying to calm down and not feel embarrassed. You felt him entering you with his fingers and searching around for minutes, grumbling and getting frustrated. The sensation was good… But you had bigger priorities at hand!

You huffed and changed positions a few times. A pillow underneath your butt, legs up, on all fours. Nothing worked. You even searched around the room and the bed, just to be sure. At some point, you both defeatedly decided it was best you go to the hospital.

The thing is, your relationship was still new, and no one in your family was aware. Lois and Clark already knew and approved, and you thought Cass suspected you were seeing someone, but you hadn't told them yet.

Especially Damian.

You and Jon knew each other years before Damian was even part of the family, since Bruce raised you since your birth — you were the product of one of his affairs, your biological mother didn't want to raise you, but she also didn't want to abort, so she and Bruce agreed that he would have you as soon as you were born — and he's best friend was Clark. Although, you didn't see each other much back then. It was after the Supersons became a team and besties that he started frequenting the manor more. You always had a childhood crush on each other — Jon thought you were beautiful and nice, and you thought he was cute and sweet, very different from the gross and rude boys from your school. —. Until you were each other's first kiss, then years later, first relationship, and first time. Of course, all in secret from Damian. The older family members only knew about your crush because of your physical language, but since you grew older and learned to hide, they assumed it was just a childish crush from the past.

Lois and Clark knew and approved, but they also always reminded you that you needed to tell Bruce soon, or at least Alfred, especially after you started being sexually active.

Unfortunately, the day came. Yes, you and Jon were old enough to have sex, but too young to be mature and brave enough to go to the hospital by yourselves. Lois was in another country for work, Clark was in the Watchtower in a League meeting, your dad was there too. Leaving the 2nd best option: Alfred — the best would be Lois, then Alfred, Clark, Cass, and then you would have to discuss which one of your other family members would it be.

Since you were in Metropolis — again, no one knew. More privacy wink wink —, Jon flew you back to Gotham, and you both almost cheered when you realized you were completely home alone, except for Alfred, of course.

Poor Alfred knew something was up when you suddenly were back from your “shopping trip”, with messy hair and clothes, red face and Superboy looking almost sick. He released a long sigh.

— Mx/Miss/Master (Y/N). Young Mr. Kent… — You cleared your throat.

— Alfred… We need help…

After you explained everything, Alfred looked ten years older. He didn't comment on anything, but his face showed how unimpressed he was. He just gestured for you to follow him to the garage, took the keys and started driving.

— Let me warn Master Bruce while we are-

— NO! — You yelled, started. He looked at you through the rearview mirror disapprovingly.

— Should I remind you that he will see the hospital bill and go after the truth? — You bit your lip.

— No, I know that. Just… Can't we pay on cash? — You smiled at him hopefully and nervously, but it was more like a grimace. Alfred was silent. You groaned. — I will tell him okay! Tonight! — Jon’s eyes snapped to yours, wide. — Relax! You're not gonna die!

— Yeah, until Damian whips out a kryptonite sword… — He groaned, hiding his burning face in your neck. You huffed, now wasn't time for him to be adorable.

— He doesn't have a kryptonite sword. Dad didn't let him do it. He would have to build it first. That would give him enough time to calm down. — Jon looked at you, indignant. Alfred cleared his throat.

— While we're there, I can't make any promises that if your father asks, I will hide the truth. He will know. — You and your boyfriend groaned, rubbing your faces with your hands.

— Yes, Alfred, I know…

Two hours later, you were finally laid down in position for the doctor to begin the procedure. Since if wasn't anything serious, you were on the emergency and there was only a curtain separating you from the rest of the patients outside. Alfred was sitting just outside, waiting, while Jon was standing by your side, holding your hand, as if you were about to give birth. The doctor was amused by your story, and her jokes helped you calm down.

She searched around you for a few minutes, the instrument she was using inside you being a little uncomfortable. Jon was silently horrified when he saw, you were startled too, but maintained the composure.

— AHA! Found it! It was really deep inside, almost on your cervix! — When she pulled out the condom, you both let out a breath of relief you didn't know you were holding.

You quickly put your clothes on again, you and Jon chatting as everything seemed lighter, and then left.

What you didn't know was that when Bruce got home and you and Alfred weren't there, it made him call, finding out just that you were in the hospital. Alfred refused to say much more than reassure him that it wasn't urgent and that he would soon know, thus he didn't have to crazily drive all the way there. That didn't stop him from alerting all your siblings.

When you got home, your whole family was there.

— Jon?! What're you doing here? — Alfred kept a straight face. Wow, he really wasn't going to help.

— Hmmm... — Jon subtly and subconsciously hid behind you. You shifted from one foot to another. Damian got up with a threatening scowl. You just came from the hospital. With a kryptonian.

— Kent! If you hurt my sibling I will-

— I didn't! — Jon almost yelled, then covered his face with his hands.

— Then, what is happenning here? — Bruce got up with a raised brow, analyzing the situation.

You thought for a moment. You either told them now and made things easier, or you spent all the way to dinner with them bothering you to tell. You could take it, Jon couldn't.

You took a deep breath.

— JonandIwerehavingsexwhenthecondomdisappearedinsideofmewecouldn'tfinditanywheresoweaskedAlfredforhelpandwenttothehospital.

They blinked.

— … What?

You huffed.

— Jon and I were having sex, when the condom disappeared inside of me. We couldn't find it anywhere, so we asked Alfred for help and went to the hospital. — You said, slower this time, although uma lower, more abashed tone.

Silence.

— … But… It was stuck inside? Weren't you wet, though…? — Tim's analysis broke the silence.

— SEX?! — Dick and Jason exclaimed.

— YOU WERE HAVING SEX WITH MY SIBLING?!

— Knew it. — Cass smiled and nodded, proud of herself.

Bruce heaved a sigh and sat down again.

— I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID THIS! — Damian threw Tim's coffee mug in your direction and Jon zoomed in front of you. The mug broke. Jon had a sheepish expression.

— Tim, go grab kryptonite. — Jason ordered and got up, walking toward the hidden compartment in the shelf where he kept his guns. Dick held him back while Damian threw a flower vase at Jon.

— No! Don't do that, Tim. — Dick ordered back. Tim shook his head.

— I wasn't going to anyway… — He mumbled. Damian threw the center table.

— YOU ACTED BEHIND MY BACK! YOU TRAITOR! YOU- OUCH! PENNYWORTH STOP! — Alfred tutted, pinching his ear.

— I'm sure civilized conversations don't involve breaking the forniture. — Alfred shot a pointed look at Bruce. — Master Bruce! Say something! — Your dad just kept gazing at you and your boyfriend.

Cass sighed, stepping toward Bruce and sitting beside him.

— (Y/N)’s happy. He’s good. They're careful. — Bruce nodded, finally showing some reaction and looking pleased. Jason stopped struggling against Dick and looked at you.

— I don't care. I'm going to kill him. — Damian growled, starting to pace around the room in anger. Jon silently sighed in relief that Damian kept his distance by being on the other side of the room, the couch and the whole family serving as a barrier. You stepped forward.

— It's not casual. We've been together for almost two months now. — Everyone but Alfred and Cass gasped. Damian burned holes in Jon’s head with his eyes and your dad looked at you, masking his mix of emotions.

Cass tsk.

— So clueless. Many signs. — She shook her head.

— (Y/N), why didn't you tell us before? — Dick asked carefully, walking in your direction and stopping in front of you. Jon fiddled behind you. You shrugged.

— Didn't want to deal with you all while we were just starting things. Especially if it didn't work out.

— When were you planning to tell us? — You pouted.

— I don't know… In a month or two? You guys probably would find out by yourselves. — You shrugged.

— You've been sneaking out a lot… — Tim spoke up for the second time, catching everyone’s attention. He was fiddling with his laptop, likely doing his own investigation. The ones closest to Tim looked from the monitor to you again.

— When did you go to Metropolis?! — Jason exclaimed, indignantly.

— Hehe…

Damian growled.

— So that's why you've been ditching me?! — Damian pointed a finger at Jon, who scratched the back of his head.

— Surprise...? — Jon weakly sang the word.

Bruce cleared his throat.

— So that's why Clark’s been acting like he was happy he knew something I didn't… — He got up and pointed at you. — No more sneaking out. Ask permission before going anywhere. — You opened your mouth to protest, but he stopped you. — Either that or you're grounded. — You pursed your lips and nodded in defeat. — Now we will talk about birth control…

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[heavysighing-dreamyeyes]

Jealousy

Three times Jason gets jealous during dates and one time you do (Pre-established relationship) ~1.6k words

You're perfect. Funny. Smart. Gorgeous. Jason's life has never been better since he's asked you to be his partner. (Okay, hush, you asked him, but he was getting there, he swears, he had this twelve step plan and everything. Tim was going to jump off a ledge while throwing rose petals. Rose petals!)

He can't find a single problem with how your relationship is going. Well, expect, how everyone else seems to want your attention you too.

The little Café you wanted to try is nice, really. The guy behind the counter that's been staring at you since you both got here? Not so nice. It's annoying, how the guys gaze seems to linger on your legs, your smile, the way you brush your hair back. It's a struggle to focus on your words– but not a struggle to watch the way your lips move when you talk.

The worker takes a step out from behind the counter.

Oh hell no.

Jason's on his feet and pulling out the chair next to you in an instant, between one word your pretty voice is saying and the next, he's sitting by your side with an arm draped around your shoulder.

He loses his train of thought when you smile, pleased, and raise an eyebrow.

"What's this for, Jason?"

"Wanted to hear you better." He says, or he thinks he says that. He's too busy watching the creep slink back behind the counter, satisfaction growing in his chest.

You laugh. (He thinks angels might descend from the sky when you do.) And go back to telling your story. It's much easier to listen this time. That's what he tells himself, at least until your thigh presses against his.

Gotham Zoo is actually really nice for, you know, Gotham. Bruce poured money into it before, but ever since Damian found out about it, he's practically ensured the place will run ethically and comfortably for the next 100 years. Which Jason thought was cool, but it's even cooler that he gets to watch his partner coo over the new petting zoo.

"Aw, Jason, look at the lambs! They're so soft. I wanna take one home." You sound giddy, eyes bright and smile wide. He can't quite pull his focus away from you to see which creature you're referring to.

"They're pretty cute." He responds instead. Not cuter than you, though.

"Could you imagine one for the apartment? They'd sleep in bed with us. It would be like cuddling a cloud." You say idly, fingers stoking the top of the animals head.

That makes him pause. How'd he cuddle you if there's some barn animal in the middle of the bed? There's no way he could get close enough to you if some pet you found cute was cuddled between you. He clears his throat. "Well, ah, I don't know how the landlord feels about lambs but you can always cuddle me? I'm– I could be soft?" Wow, okay. Not what he wanted to say. He cringes a little.

But you stand up, smiling brighter and gaze focused on him. That settles the feeling in the pit of his stomach. You curl your fingers with his and take his hand, pulling it to your face to kiss his knuckles. "You're my favorite thing to cuddle, you know."

Oh. "Huh. I mean, good." He stumbles out. No, his ears are definitely not feeling warm. And no, his heart isn't beating faster as he follows you towards the next enclosure. "I could wear wool, though? If you wanted?"

That makes you laugh. Eyes trailing to him with such fondness he nearly sinks to his knees. Until he sees the playfulness etched in your face. "I saw you petting those rabbits early. I could wear bunny ears? If you wanted?"

He chokes on air. You might be trying to kill him. His whole face feels as heated as his ears. "Wow. I– if you wanted?"

You giggle, pulling away to observe the next lucky animal that you see.

"Hey. Wait–" He says your name, voice a little pitched. "Did you want–?" You only wink at him. That shuts him. And if he spends the rest of the date a little distracted, well, you seem proud that you managed to make him so flustered.

Your coworker has been talking to you for thirteen minutes and fourty-seven seconds. Jason knows this because he's been watching the clock since he got here. It happens more often than not, him walking you home from work. He shows up fifteen minutes early because he knows you'll slip out given the chance. Something about not taking up too much of his time. Don't you know you're the only one he wants to spend his time with?

Jason crosses his arms, eyes narrowing at your coworker. Three inches. That's the amount of space your coworker has moved closer to you since he's gotten here. Not respectable at all. Doesn't he know you're with Jason? Maybe he should have stopped into that jewelry store he was eyeing earlier. And called Tim to put in an order for rose petals.

Your coworker shifts another inch towards you. And that's it. Your shift has thirty-five seconds left and that's exactly the amount of time it takes for him to be by your side. His arm slips around your waist comfortably, like it belongs there, because it does. He kisses your cheek and lets his gaze settle on your coworker. And if his face is a little more threatening than usual, he definitely isn't trying to intimidate your coworker. (Yes, he is.)

"Ready to go home, sweetheart?" He drawls, body relaxed like he isn't torn between showing your coworker exactly who you're dating and pushing down the jumble of emotion in his throat. "I was thinking take out for dinner?"

You relax into his side. Oh. You relaxed into his side and you're smiling at him. It evens out the pounding in his heart he didn't even realize was happening. The tension threatening to take over his shoulders disappears like it never existed.

"Yeah, Jason, I'm ready. I missed you. Just let me clock out." You pull away– 'no' he starts to think– and then you take his hand, pulling him along with you.

"I missed you too." He answers, and you don't quite see the smug grin he sends over his shoulder to your coworker.

Jason's perfect. Funny. Smart. Gorgeous. Willing to try new things. A total package. That's something you know about your boyfriend. So when he agreed to go dancing with you at Gothams newest club, you were excited. A whole night spent enjoying time with your boyfriend. And you both get to dress up a little. You feel hot, and he definitely looks hot. You didn't think that'd be an issue. But, it is. Because you can see your boyfriend getting held up by two of the prettiest girls you've ever seen.

He's holding two drinks, one for himself and one he went to get for you. It soothes the tightness in your throat that he does not look thrilled to be talking to them. The softness he has when he's with you gone, replaced with poorly masked annoyance.

Any comfort you were feeling from the look on his face disappears when one of the girls puts her hand on his arm, giggling like he's said the funniest thing in the world. Absolutely not. You're walking over to them before Jason even has time to shrug her hand from his arm.

"Hey, honey." You say, voice sweet and sugary as you take one of the drinks from his hand, hooking your arm through his and tucking yourself against him. "Everything okay?"

It makes your heart flutter everytime, the way his entire face seems to change when he looks at you. "Hey, baby. Yeah. Everything's okay. Didn't mean to take so long. Were you worried?" He asks, leaning down to press a kiss to your hair.

The girls seem to deflate at how his complete attention is on you, how he instinctively shifts until you're pressed flushed against his side, two pieces of a whole. You have to force back the pride that threatens to glint in your eyes. "Not worried. I just was getting bored without you."

Neither of you really look over at the girls when they murmur something about catching up with their friends, but Jason manages a polite nod. Once they're gone, his grin widens, eyes teasing. "You were jealous. You called me honey."

You gasp in mock offense, yes, honey isn't the first term of endearment you jump to, but it's a perfectly valid word for him. "Jealous? Jealous that my tall, dark, sweet, and handsome boyfriend was getting hit on?"

He laughs, you think you might have swooned in a different time. "C'mon, pretty. Give me this. I saw you watching."

You can't help but smile at him and wonder, vaugley, if he knows you'd give him anything he asked of you. "Yeah, yeah. I was a little jealous. But, don't think I don't notice when you get jealous. Now, come dance with me. I like this song."

Now it's his turn to gasp, faux denial on his face. "I have never, not once in my life, been jealous."

You roll your eyes, playful and light as you pull him along to the dance floor. "Alright, lover boy. Because you're definitely not the reason my coworker wouldn't talk to me for a week."

He looks pleased at that. "He didn't?"

You raise yourself on your toes, kissing his cheek and leaving a smudge of lipstick. Neither of you move to wipe it off. "Mm. No. He didn't."

"Nice." He mumbles, unhooking your arms so he can hold your waist as you reach the dance floor. "I do get jealous too, though, sometimes."

Laughing, you find the beat of the music together and your world centers on him, just how his centers on you. "I know."

[epione-xx]

The first time sharing the bed

I AM SO DELULU FOR THIS MAN. IM KICKING MY FEET AND SQUEALING HEHEHE

The first ever time you slept in the same bed as Damian, you swear you could feel your body shaking with excitement. You had the biggest grin on your face and you had to sleep away from him to ensure that well, you didn’t freak him out if he had woken up in the middle of the night and caught you staring with a creepy grin.

Luckily, He didn’t mind that you had to face the opposite, assuming that you were just a shy sleeper or maybe you slept warm. To try and make you more comfortable he had his own back to you and had easily fallen asleep within five minutes.

But you hadn’t followed him to the wonderful dream land.

So when he has rolled around, your breath went sharp and then stilled. Your phone light shone into your eyes but you didn’t dare move in fear of awakening him. Heart pounding in your chest and veins stinging with anticipation.

But when his arm wrapped around your waist and settled under your boobs and he pulled you to his chest- GIRL YOU COULD HAVE GONE INTO CARDIAC ARREST.

Out of EVERYWHERE in this big bed, he had shifted closer to you! I mean, anyone else would have thought it was normal. You WERE his girlfined after all.

He was now facing the same way you were, and out of fear you had shut your phone off and then you opted to close your eyes. Taking calm breaths and hoping you would fall asleep.

But that didn’t work, so…yeah. Nice try, but then man was TOO MUCH.

[thewitchblue]

"Do you mind if I sit there?"

You ask Damian innocently while gesturing to his lap. Damian raised a confused eyebrow at you. He was lounging on the couch of your apartment after breaking in despite him having a key. He said in confusion,

"That's my lap, beloved."

You give an acknowledging hum before saying,

"That's not an answer, lovebird."

Damian blushes but quickly looks away while murmuring,

"You...I...I suppose you may..."

You happily make your way to him and lie gently on top of him to feel his warm body against yours and close your eyes with a content smile, finally content in his lap. He slowly snakes his arms around your waist, shifting slightly to make you both more comfortable. You kiss his flustered cheeks with a soft smile on your face.

"Is this payback for breaking in instead of using the spare key you gave me?"

He asks after a moment of silence. Clearly, his brain was trying to wrap around why you suddenly wanted to lie on top of him. You shake your head with a fond smile on your face.

"You're more comfortable than the couch. I swear it's like your body heat is a heated blanket or a hot water bottle."

You look up to look at his face only to meet your very confused and very flustered boyfriend. You lightly kiss his chest before going back to cuddling him.

"I didn't realise you were cold. I would've given one of the hoodies you stole from me or a blanket."

You kiss his shoulder gently. You can tell that he's still getting used to the physical contact, but you're determined and patient.

"Am I not allowed to want to be in the arms of my darling boyfriend?"

You question with raised eyebrows. He blinked rapidly, as if he didn't expect that answer. It breaks your heart to think about all those years he lived without such love that he now overthinks every time you hold his hand or hug him. He continues inquisitively,

"Beloved, you have never once asked if you can lie on top of me."

You laugh, which makes his arms wrap tighter around you. Your hands rest on his chest as you relax against him. You admit softly,

"I like listening to your heartbeat. It's soothing, especially when I get anxious or stressed."

His hand traces patterns on your back while he kisses the top of your head. He asked,

"Did you have a stressful day?"

His concern melted your heart further. You shake my head, placing kisses along his collarbone.

"Despite finding out someone broke into my home only to discover it was my own boyfriend? Not really."

He clicks his tongue but gives into his laughter once yours starts. It's ridiculous, really, how cute he is. You softly say,

"You're so cute, lovebird."

His green eyes seem to gleam like emeralds in the warm lighting as he looks down at you. There was so much unfiltered love and adoration on his face that it leaves you breathless. He pouts, simply replying,

"Cute? I'm a trained assassin turned vigilante."

You click your tongue. You sarcastically reply,

"Oh yes, you have me quaking in fear."

His laughter rings through the otherwise silent apartment with your own laughter following shortly after. He gently flickers your nose with his fingers, making you bite said fingers lightly.

"I have taken down Superman by myself. You have every right to fear me."

You huff an amused laugh. Your eyelids are already starting to grow heavy as his warmth seems to be all-encompassing. It doesn't escape you that you're in probably the safest pair of arms in all of Gothem.

"Are you sleeping over, lovebird?"

You ask while you trace slow patterns on his chest, trying desperately to stay awake despite his calm heartbeat luring you closer and closer to sleep. His hum rumbles through his chest. You can tell he's torn between going back to the manor or staying the night with you. You are still a secret from his family. After a moment, he compromises,

"I'll stay until you fall asleep, beloved."

Pouting, you accept what you can get. You know his hero responsibilities call to him, but it was nice to have some time, just the two of you.

"I love you, Dami..."

You murmur, sleep slowly taking hold of you.

"I love you too, my treasure."

He whispers back to you as he runs his fingers through your hair. You soon subcome to sleep, knowing you're safe in the arms of your vigilante boyfriend.

[bodybaggage]

Oh, It’s On!

DP X DC

Ensue the prank war…

---

It all started with a simple question posed by Dick as he lounged on the Batcave’s most uncomfortable piece of furniture, which he affectionately called "the Bat-Stone."

“So, has anyone actually tested the limits of Danny’s ghost powers?”

Tim looked up from his laptop, always the first to take a bait. “You mean, besides the constant intangible phase he does to avoid Damian’s batarangs?”

Stephanie, who was tending to her bo-staff but was actually poking Cass with the end of it—grinned. “I’m in. If nothing else, we’ll get some decent entertainment. Better than watching Bruce brood in the dark.”

Cass, normally the least likely to engage in such activities, simply tilted her head with a curious look that might have been interpreted as a quiet agreement. She might not speak often, but Cass had developed a taste for subtle chaos.

Jason cracked his knuckles with a smirk. “Sounds like a good way to pass the time. And besides, I’m bored.”

Danny, floating into the room with a glow of mild suspicion, was not as oblivious as they might have hoped. “You guys aren’t planning anything, are you?”

Dick waved a hand dismissively. “Us? Plan something? Come on, Danny, we’re innocent.”

Danny gave him a deadpan stare. “That’s literally the opposite of what you are.”

The challenge was set, and everyone knew it. But Danny, being the ghostly trickster he was, didn’t wait to be pranked first. He struck with precision.

---

The first inkling that things were amiss came when the Batmobiles began moving on their own. Jason was the first to notice, his usual vehicle—a sleek, red tank of a motorcycle—had rolled up to him as if it were a loyal dog wanting to go for a walk.

“Alright, who’s messing with my ride?” Jason demanded, but the vehicle simply honked twice in response, the sound oddly cheerful.

“It’s not me!” Tim called from across the cave, where his own ride had begun circling him like a shark. “I swear, I’m not touching anything!”

Danny floated nearby, feigning innocence with an expression that screamed, I totally did this. “You sure your cars aren’t just excited to see you?”

Jason narrowed his eyes. “This is war, ghost boy.”

---

The Batcave, typically a place of stoic professionalism, had devolved into a battleground of pranks. Stephanie had rigged Danny’s usual hangout spot with a pop-up scarecrow (it looked suspiciously like Scarecrow, but with a clown wig) that would jump out at him whenever he tried to sit down.

The trap backfired spectacularly when Danny phased through the seat, sending the scarecrow careening into Cass, who simply caught it midair with one hand and set it down gently. Without saying a word, she gave Stephanie a look that said, ‘Nice try, but no.’

“Okay, point to Danny,” Stephanie conceded, wiping away tears of laughter.

In retaliation, Danny decided to step up his game. The next morning, Alfred calmly entered the Batcave with a tray of tea, his hair glowing an eternal green. Not a word about the change, not even a glance in the mirror—Alfred was far too professional for that.

Bruce, however, did notice. “Alfred, did you do something... different with your hair?”

Alfred, ever unflappable, set down the tea tray. “Just trying out a new look, Master Wayne. I believe it’s quite... refreshing.”

Bruce nodded slowly, not entirely sure if Alfred was joking. “It’s very... unique.”

Danny had to leave the room, barely containing his laughter. The dry humor had struck a chord, even with the ghost kid.

---

As the prank war escalated, it became harder to tell who was pranking who. Jason found his helmet filled with ectoplasm, while Tim’s gadgets began mysteriously glitching out, causing them to display random memes whenever he tried to access files.

Stephanie set up a system of water balloons throughout the cave, each strategically placed to drench whoever activated the trap. The grand finale was a large balloon precariously perched above the entrance, ready to douse the first unlucky victim.

Unfortunately for Damian, who had been staunchly standing next to Bruce to avoid any involvement in the chaos, his loyalty did not save him.

“I am not a part of this, Father,” Damian declared, stepping slightly closer to Bruce.

A soft ‘click’ echoed in the cave, followed by a loud splash as the massive water balloon above exploded, soaking Damian from head to toe.

Bruce sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Damian, I thought you said you weren’t part of this.”

“I am not!” Damian insisted, dripping onto the Batcave floor. He glared at the ceiling as if it had personally offended him. “This was not intended for me.”

Danny appeared next to him, intangible and dry. “I guess the water balloon had other plans.”

Jason, Tim, Stephanie, and Dick burst into laughter, while Cass allowed herself a rare smile. Even Bruce couldn’t hold back the faintest twitch of his lips.

---

The chaos continued throughout the day, culminating in a final showdown where Danny—now fully embracing his role as master prankster—made every Bat-Suit in the Batcave walk out of their cases and perform the ‘Michael Jackson’s Thriller’ dance.

Bruce had walked in just in time to see his most serious suit do the moonwalk.

“That’s it,” Bruce declared, finally done with the madness. “No more pranks in the Batcave.”

But as he said it, his own suit’s visor flipped up to reveal a pair of glowing green eyes that winked at him before going dark.

Danny’s laugh echoed through the cave. “You’re gonna have to catch me first, Bats!”

Bruce sighed again, mentally preparing himself for the next round. It seemed that in the Batcave, chaos would always have a ghostly signature.

[casscainturnedmegay]

Batfamily as actual things my family has said: Part 1

~

Bruce: Jason! No gang signs at the dinner table!

~

Damian: Stingrays are so smooth. They feel like Stephanie’s hands.

Steph: Was that a compliment? I can’t tell if that was a compliment.

Damian: OH I’M SORRY FOR TRYING TO BE NICE TO YOU ASSHOLES FOR ONCE! GOD, I MENT THAT YOU HAVE SMOOTH HANDS!

Steph: Thank you?

Damian: whatever

~

Dick: Oh don’t worry the bite marks are just from Tim

Barbara:

Dick: I swear that sounded reassuring in my head

[jasmines-library]

maybe when the batfam is watching and batsis falls asleep on one of the boys shoulders and they take care of her and it’s all fluffy and nice 🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷 your writing is like the best thing ever I LIVE for it

Look after you

Note: Thanks for requesting anon! I need to add more fluff to my page...

Warnings: None

Word count: 630

⛤ BATFAM MASTERLIST ⛤

It had been a long few weeks.

Perhaps that was an understatement. Between school and the appearance of a new crime syndicate, you had been extremely busy. Each day that passed felt hours longer than the last as you found yourself collapsing into bed at ungodly hours each night. After finally returning from patrol, you could sprawl out across your bed for a few hours of sleep before the vicious cycle began again.

But, it was finally Saturday night and you and your brothers had piled into the living room to settle in front of the TV. The tradition began when Tim joined the family and had grown ever since. It was your favourite part of the week; a time to unwind from the madness of your double life.

You sat on the couch, wedged between Dick and Jason. Tim had sprawled himself across the remaining space, tucking a pillow under his arm, and Damian settled across the floor, resting the back of his head on your knees. The five of you had bundled together, passing around the bowl of snacks that Alfred had prepared for you.

The fireplace crackled away in the dim room, providing a small, flickering light and a soothing warmth. Your exhaustion soon began to overcome you as your eyes fluttered shut, urged on by the quiet warmth in the room. You let out a yawn and shifted around on the couch between your brothers and as time passed you found your head began to feel heavy so you rested it on Jason’s shoulder. Just for a moment.

But that moment lasted much longer than you had anticipated because you found your eyes drifting closed and your body falling into a much needed sleep. Jason glanced at you, being careful to try not to move his body so as not to wake you, and smiled. Glad to see you finally taking a minute to relax.

When the movie finally finished, Damian twisted around to gape at the rest of the family. Throwing his arms up as he exclaimed: “They can’t just leave it like that! What kind of an ending-“

“Shh.” Jason glared at his little brother.

“What…” Damian barked, about to start a rant about how he could do what he wanted when Dick gestures to you asleep on Jason’s shoulder and his words fell silent. “Oh.”

“I swear if any of you idiots wake her up-“ Jason started as you nuzzled closer to him.

“She looks so peaceful.” Tim smiled, taking out his phone and snapping a picture.

“Tt. Drake, that better not be going anywhere.” Damian wanted to roll his eyes at his brothers action but as he looked up at you, he understood.

Jason moved slowly as he hooked his arms under your legs to hoist you up as smoothly as he could. He shifted your weight as he stood, moving towards your room down the hall.

As he walked, you stirred slightly. Your eyes blinked, eyelashes fluttering listlessly against your cheeks.

“J’sn?” You murmured against his neck.

You felt him nod as he whispered “go back to sleep little wing.”

You murmured something incoherent as your eyes blinked back shut again. When you reached your room, Dick pushed ahead to push open your door so that Jason could bustle in and lay you gently on your bed that you melted into.

Tim entered a few moments later, placing an extra blanket over you and tucking it under your arms to keep you warm as Dick smoothed the hair away from your face.

Once you were situated in bed, your brothers crept away from your room. Damian placed a kiss on your forehead, before moving towards the door where the light from the hallway still streamed through.

“Good night little sister. Sweet dreams.”

🦇 BATFAM TAGLIST:

@aestheticdaisies

@hell-o-kittys

@mamapucket

@xxrougefangxx

@hearts4robs

[jaewritesfic]

Everlasting Trio DP x DC Nobody Knows AU Part 9

Part 8

“Nothing? At all?”

“Nothing, Red,” Barbara's voice repeats through the speakers of the Batcomputer, sounding irritated at this point.

“But- I mean, did you try-”

“She's going to come to the cave and shove a Batarang up your ass if you ask her one more time whether she missed something, Replacement,” Jason drawls off to the side. He's reclining in a chair, feet kicked up on a weapons table.

Tim groans. “I know, I know. I'm sorry.”

He's back in the Cave, and so is pretty much everyone else. Turns out he'd caused something of a panic, and it was all hands on deck for a hot second.

When the engineer had density shifted out of his grasp and heckled him from some nebulous spot midair, it had taken only a few seconds afterwards for Tim’s comms to explode with noise.

Turns out nobody had been able to hear anything from him except a constant low static from shortly before the encounter until after it ended, and his mask camera was borked the whole time too.

Understandably, there was some alarm about that. Bruce had ordered everyone back to the cave for a full explanation and conversation on what the hell happened.

“Sit down and tell us what happened, baby bird. You're gonna wear a hole in the floor at this rate,” Dick tells him, a gentle hand on his shoulder nudging him towards a seat.

Tim groans and throws himself into it like a puppet with his strings cut.

“Well he's definitely a meta,” he grumbles. “I never actually laid eyes on him. Wouldn't have even known he was there if he hadn't gotten ghost busted.”

“Ghost busted?” Jason asks, eyebrows raised. Tim huffs out a reluctant laugh, because in retrospect that part was pretty funny.

“His fucking phone went off. All of a sudden the empty air next to me was blasting the Ghostbusters theme song and an invisible man was swearing like a sailor until it cut out.”

Stephanie blows a raspberry in the start of a laughing fit, and suddenly the whole cave is echoing with mirth. It lifts Tim's spirits a little, makes him laugh too.

He means, come on. That has to be the new record for the funniest botched stealth mission, a position previously held by Damian when a stray dog outed him because it smelled the treats he keeps in his utility belt.

The shade of red the demon brat's face was when he had to explain why the mission went sideways was fucking glorious.

“So you've confirmed that we're dealing with a male meta?”

Speaking of the brat.

“Sounded male, and he at least has invisibility and density shifting,” Tim confirms.

“Density shifting?” Bruce prompts.

“Yeah. After the phone went off I couldn't see him but I was trying to figure out where he was. Then the lockbox disappeared too - he can transfer the invisibility through touch, apparently.”

“Huh. Haven't seen that before,” Duke comments.

“Me neither. But I made an educated guess at where I thought he was and grabbed his arm. Had a damn good grip, and then he just…went through me. Like I literally felt something pass through my hand all cold and tingly and suddenly I wasn't holding anything anymore.”

Jason snorts. “Bet that was a kick in the nuts, huh.”

“Come on, Little Wing,” Dick scolds half heartedly. “Be nice.”

Jason rolls his eyes.

“You said ‘at least’,” Bruce says, brow furrowed. “You suspect he has other powers too?”

Tim purses his lips. “I can't be sure, considering I couldn't see him, but…I think he probably has flight too.”

“Flight?” Dick says, furrowing his brow. He crosses his arms and shakes his head, looking both thoughtful and troubled. “No, that's not possible.”

Tim blinks. “What? Why not?”

Dick ‘Be Nice, Little Wing’ Grayson looks him dead in the eyes and says, “Because according to all known laws of aviation-”

“You-!”

The cave is filled with laughter again, Jason throwing his head back and cackling in a way that's particularly irksome. Tim reaches over and shoves at his boots while he's tipping his chair back and sends him toppling to the floor.

Jason flails and fails to save himself, rolling back to his feet and spitting curses with a hint of green to his eyes. Tim freezes at the sight of it.

It's not that he's scared. He and Jason have come a long way, and everyone knows by now what amount of green is actually dangerous. Jason's nowhere near actually losing it right now, he's just annoyed.

What makes Tim freeze is-

“He's been exposed to the Pits.”

Everyone pauses, confused. Jason blinks at him. “Uh…yeah, fucking duh?”

“No,” Tim shakes his head. “No, not you. The Engineer.”

Suddenly there's no laughter anymore. Everyone has gone tense and alarmed.

“Tim?” Bruce prompts lowly.

“I did see part of him,” Tim murmurs lowly, realizing it himself for the first time. “When I grabbed him, there were two bright lights for a second or two before they faded. God, I should have realized- it was his eyes. Like Christmas lights, bright Lazarus green."

Masterpost

[starwrighter]

1/?? Halloween prompt

I’ve got brain rot for creepy Deadserious content but only when it’s only seen as creepy by outsiders. (I know I’m writing a fic with a similar plot but it’s different I swear! Also my grammar is shit because I’m getting dental work done tomorrow and I’m nervous) Tw for stalker behavior

So Damian has a crush on Danny and immediately goes about acting on these feelings much to onlookers horror. Danny is swooning because someone made the effort to do a background check on him. Danny thinks Damian doing this is really smart because, he could be a serial killer for ancients sake why would you risk that? Others say this is a horrible invasion of privacy.

Damian not realizing he's being creepy (being liminal and being an ex assassin, turned vigilante wasn't doing him any favors) Plus Danny also not realizing it's creepy unless you relay Damian behavior towards him with different names.

Damian's just being a textbook stalker, breaking into his house and shit and Danny's all like "awwww he likes me" because this is just normal ghostly courting rituals! His dormroom isn't his lair so Damian breaking in doesn't feel like he's violating any sort of boundary. To him it's like a friend showing up at the coffee shop you work at to say hi.

Danny's had stalkers before, he's very cautious of his behavior to insure he never stalked anyone. Being stalked back in Amity was a horrific experience for him. From cameras in the locker rooms at school (wes) to cameras in his bathroom and bedroom at home (Vlad)! He couldn't feel safe anywhere! To Danny Damian's not a stalker, he's his protector. Nobody seems to understand when he tries to explain this though they just look at him like he's lost his mind.

Damian’s not subtle at all and Danny’s kicking his feet like a lovesick school girl who found out her crush likes her back. Overall it’s super cute from their points of view Damian’s planning an official confession to ask him on a date while Danny’s trying to figure out if Damian actually likes him or is just being nice. They’re just doing normal couple things but people just jump and attack Damian’s character while painting Danny as some kind of brainwashed victim.

The thing is… Danny’s become very good at appearing normal while Damian refuses to pretend to be a bumbling idiot like the rest of his family. He also refuses to dull down his personality for anything other than secret identity reasons. For these reasons since their relationship had become public, Damian had been painted by the media as a creepy possessive boyfriend who threatened Danny into a relationship. This infuriates Danny, the only one doing any kind of possession is him god damn it!

They want to be around each other all the time and that’s normal behavior for ghost/liminal couples! They live much longer than regular humans do they’re like elves, their perceptions of time are messed up. They still spend time apart they still have hobbies and an independent life, people just get hung up on the amount of time they do spend together. It’s normal behavior for them to know mountains of information about each others interests to the point they almost know more than each other. It’s normal to know each other’s schedules and background check the people they associate with. (The realms are very dangerous with shapeshifters and manipulators like spectra and Desiree who can ruin your afterlife in a matter of minutes) Their relationship is creepy to those who haven’t gone to extremes to survive.

Damian has taken to ignoring the reputation press has given him. He’s dealt with paparazzi and tabloids before it’s just frustrating to deal with. It’s when people start accusing him of hurting his beloved that really pisses him off.

(Bonus if Danny’s the one frothing at the mouth to maul a reporter while they try to paint him as a poor innocent victim)

I’mma end the prompt with this so everyone understands why Damian specifically being targeted by press. The more liminal you are the more creepy/uncanny you appear to other people and the more effort you have to put in to hide it. It’s why the bats are more believed to be Eldritch creatures than actual humans in suits. Surprisingly becoming a Halfa completely changes this effect to do the complete opposite. It’s easier for the human brain to look at a halfa and think “Innocent or normal,” Vlad and Danny were morons when it came to actually hiding their identity’s it was only their statuses as halfa’s that prevented people from comprehending them being anything other than normal.

In short Damian’s too dead to be perceived as normal while Danny’s too alive to be perceived as anything other than normal.

[fancyfeathers]

Since Daughter!Reader is normally shown to be afraid of the batfamily(based on multiple asks) which I understand why, do you ever think Batfam has seen her at school, or maybe Damian, has caught her being her at school? Maybe she's a little aggressive she has some pent up feelings. Like Damian is watching from outside Daughter!Reader's classroom as she battles a boy for her paper, and uh oh she curses. "Gimme the- Gimme the goddamn paper! You little rat." She grits out at said boy and smacks him with her paper once she gets it back. (To me Goddamn isn't a curse word but i think the batfam has banned her from saying anything of the sorts so to them it probably is.) Then the rest of the day he just watches as she practically tackles people, hits them playfully, or even lets them play fight her.

Yandere Batfam w/ Wife/Mother!Darling & Daughter/Sister!Darling Masterlist

this reminds me of one of my friends in high school, he was on the lights crew for theater, and the cast and crew all called him Rat, affectionately.

So I went to a private school and stuff definitely happened. Still, the thing is it did not happen often cause you would get in trouble, so let's be honest Damian and her would definitely be private school kids, so if this was to happen it would probably be if she had an extracurricular that Bruce would approve of, so not sports cause she could get hurt, she could be a tutor, choir is okay. Still, probably theater or some form of preforming arts and let me tell you as a theater kid who does ballet for a living now, theater kids are the most unhinged people on the planet and this sounds like pure theater kid behavior.

So Damian would be going by the rehearsal room because she forgot the snack that Alfred packed for her because Bruce is tired of her skipping meals so now what she eats is monitored. He just slightly opens the door and he just hears...

"Give me my script you fucking whore or I swear to god your mother never loved you."

Damian just sticks his head in and sees his sister running after one of her friends and people are just talking and acting like nothing wrong, even the theater teacher is just sitting there like this is completely normal behavior before rehearsal.

"oh, I'm the whore? We both know your boyfriend gave you head in the gardens after his tennis practice."

"So what are you going to do about it?"

It just ends up with them chasing each other around the room before rehearsal starts and the teacher gets them in line, then Damian comes in and gives her her snack while they are working on something that doesn't involve her yet and he just looks at her with the harshest glare she has ever seen.

"Say any of that foulmouthed language again and I will tell Father and I am sure he would be more than happy to have you homeschooled."

"Fine, whatever."

After that, her friends really start not liking Damian because he is always keeping an eye out to catch her again, just one slip-up. Like they will be walking in the hallway, chatting during the passing period while on their way to their next class and they pass by Damian and right as they reach their next class she gets a text from Damian...

Your uniform skirt is pulled up four inches too high, go to the bathroom and fix it before I see you again.

But this gets so bad that her friends have even started to confront Damian about it. Like it will be at the end of the day and he is putting stuff back into his locker and they come up to him and they are nice at first, trying to explain things to him, making fun of each other is sort of their love language and they promise they aren't getting his sister into any trouble of anything, they just want her to have fun and not feel lonely because she was so depressed when they asked her to join the preforming arts department and now she is actually happy now that she has a small bit of freedom in her life-

"None of that matters, you are encouraging delinquent behavior, and none of your fun matters when my sister's safety is at stake when she spends time with your sort of people."

"God, you have a stick up your ass, did your mother not love you or something?"

"Jesus, calm down he has a step mom."

"Oh, so he was from an affair, not surprising."

After that, Damian realized how popular his sister was because the next day more than half of the school hated him, it's really not surprising she was a very likable person and her boyfriend was the top student at the school, student council president sort of person. When he came home he had photos of what his locker looked like, completely defaced with the foulest of language and when he tried to report it the principal told him that with all the talk in the school at the moment about him there was just no way to prove who did it, but she had the audacity that maybe if he tried to be more likable than it would stop.

"Maybe if you tried to act your age and not twenty years older then people wouldn't have a problem with you. You are not an adult yet, so you should not act as if you are your sister's keeper because I know your sister and she is a bright young lady who does not need you breathing down her neck."

[incorrectbatfam]

How would the batfam react to someone robbing the Manor?

Robber: *enters*

Dick: Oh good, you're here! Do these shorts make my butt look big?

———————

Robber: *taking things*

Jason: What are you doing?

Robber: Robbing you.

Jason: There's a safe in Bruce's office. Passcode is 0816. Feel free to take a crack at it. I'll be in the library if you need me.

———————

Robber: *picking the lock*

*door flies open and hits them*

Tim, on the phone: I'll be there in ten. In the meantime, tell Kon and Bart not to touch anything.

*door slowly swings shut*

Robber, stuck to the door: *slowly peels off*

———————

Robber: *pocketing antiques*

Damian: You must be Alfred's new assistant. I see you're already taking the initiative to get our family heirlooms restored. After that, I need you to do the laundry as I have run out of clean school uniforms.

Robber: Uh, no, kid. I'm robbing you.

Damian: Oh. In that case...

Damian: *stabs them*

———————

Robber: *walks in*

Duke, being kidnapped: Do you mind? We're kind of in the middle of something.

Robber: Sorry, I'll come back later.

———————

Robber: *enters*

Cullen: Hey, I know you're here to rob us, but I've been practicing some magic tricks to impress my boyfriend's family. Can you do me a favor and pick a card?

Robber:

Robber: *picks a card*

———————

Steph: *making a snack while wearing headphones*

Robber: *sneaks up behind her*

Steph: *throws a banana peel over her shoulder*

Robber: *slips on the banana peel*

Robber: *slides across the kitchen*

Robber: *gets tangled in the curtains*

Robber: *falls into a suitcase*

*suitcase shuts*

*suitcase rolls outside into the pool*

Steph: *takes off her headphones and turns around*

Steph: Did someone say something?

———————

Robber: *climbs in through the window*

Cass: Hi.

Robber: Hi.

Cass: You're a robber.

Robber: Yes.

Cass:

Cass: *pushes them out the window*

———————

Robber: *comes in*

Barbara: *looks up from her computer*

Robber: *slowly backs out*

Barbara: That's what I thought.

———————

Robber: Give me the TV!

Harper: Sure, just hold this for me please.

Harper: *hands him a grenade*

Harper: *pulls the pin*

Harper: *walks away*

———————

Robber: *unlocks the door*

Carrie: You must be our new bouncy house guy.

Robber: No, I'm robbing you.

Robber: Wait, you have a bouncy house guy?

———————

Robber: *enters*

Kate, with a clipboard: Name?

Robber: My name's Rob, I'm here to rob you.

Kate: Sorry, I don't have you on our list.

———————

Robber: *saws a hole in the wall*

Helena: What are you doing?

Robber: Robbing you.

Helena: You know the door's unlocked, right? I swear, it's like people don't even try nowadays.

———————

Robber: *unplugging the XBox*

Luke: Best Buy is just down the road.

Robber: ...You're Luke Fox.

Luke: Yes I am.

Robber: Champion MMA fighter Luke Fox.

Luke, rolling up his sleeves: Always nice to meet a fan.

———————

Robber: *ransacking the place*

Bette: Who hurt you?

Robber: What?

Bette: This isn't a healthy coping mechanism. Talk to me. I'm here for you.

Robber, breaking down: It all started when I was little...

———————

Robber: *sneaks in*

Alfred: Not on my watch.

Alfred: *drags them out by the ear*

Robber: Ow, ow, ow.

———————

Robber: *smashes the window*

Selina: Pfft, amateur. Let me show you how it's done.

———————

Robber: *steals the computer*

Bruce: *reading the newspaper*

Robber: *takes valuable jewelry*

Bruce: *still reading*

Robber: *lightly bumps into one of the batkids*

Robber: *turns around*

Bruce: *suddenly appears with the bat-glare*

Robber: I'm just gonna—

Robber: *gets instantly knocked out*

[lazycats-stuff]

Male reader who’s Ra’s immortal enemies- to lovers- to friends - to annoyances - to married - to divorced - to friends - to I’ve known you for so long that I could stab you and I’d peck you on the cheek and you’d stab me with the same knife and kiss me till I pass out.

Kinda like Gomez and Morticia but Male reader is called grandma as a joke but after 3 centuries it kinda just stuck so he checks up on the league every 2 decades only to find Ra’s in a fight with the bats and just kinda gets a chair and watches before Dusan or Talia comes and says “MOTHER-!?” “Oh hey I brought snacks”

Oh my God, this sounds great. Lets do it. I may also added Damian calling the reader grandma. I just wanted to.

Summary: (Y/N) and Ra's know each other for a long time.

Warnings: both are a power couple, I swear, mentions of killing, stabbing each other, loving one another, a whole lot of relationships with this.

(Y/N) and Ra's al Ghul go a very long way back. Extremely long. About 400 years to be more specific. The two started off as enemies. And since the two were essentially immortal with the Lazarus pit. The two have killed each other more times they could count. It was stress relief almost for them both.

And they enjoyed the games they have played. Hunting each other down, trying to kill the other, the adrenaline pumping through your veins. Not to mention, the bragging rights from (Y/N)'s side. It's no easy feat to kill Ra's al Ghul. And Ra's would strike back. It's a good way to get some stress out, just like said before.

But over time, something else grew and the two became lovers, loving each other fiercely. It was a love story for the ages, as the two would joke. In modern terms, they would be a true power couple. Both of them strong in their own right and if they are separated, they can both hold on their own. And if together?

True meaning of terror and fear in their world.

And they were a power couple for a long time.

But sooner than later, love started to fizzle out. And while they were married, they became friends. It was nice to have a friend in Ra's, despite being a killer and everything in between. Ra's is a loyal friend, the one who wouldn't betray you for anything. That's what (Y/N) knew at least. Of course, that same courtesy came from (Y/N).

Safe to say, the two were loyal to each other to the bone.

And even when they entered that stage of being purely and utterly annoyed with each other, they were still loyal to the bone to each other. It was rare to find a person like that, whom you could annoy to the point of stabbing each other. Which has happen before.

(Y/N) on his knees, Ra's holding a knife implanted in (Y/N)'s stomach, both of them smiling at each other. Even kissing each other while the knife was in one of them. Talk about twisted love. (Y/N) and Ra's have been through a lot and one of the things he remembers vividly is Talia's birth. And it was one of his favorite memories. He may or may have not cried when he held Talia for the first time. It is something that has officially ingrained into his brain.

He got called mother as a result. He didn't like it at first, however, it grew on him. Soon enough, it became an inside joke and he couldn't really be mad at it. It was something... It felt like home, (Y/N) would say.

Soon enough, (Y/N) started travelling, using Ra's' money to do so? Why? Ra's has enough of it already and travelling in the best hotels in the world wouldn't make a dent in his pocket. Never has and it never will. Ra's simply handed him the credit card with a smile and a kiss.

" Go wherever your heart desires beloved. "

And he did.

He travelled a lot, seeing the world, doing what his heart desired. Of course, he stayed in contact with Ra's and Talia during his travels. He would share updates about what he saw and learned. However, he came back once he heard that his daughter was pregnant. He was essentially going to be a grandfather.

Well, he would be a grandmother as the joke from years ago would come back to bite him in the ass. And it bit him hard. While Talia's pregnancy progressed, she would often talk to the baby, talking about how he will met grandmother (Y/N). And how did (Y/N) react?

He simply scoffed, saying it's too early in the day to deal with this. It would make Talia chuckle and Ra's would smirk, enjoying the sight of his husband getting teased.

Yes, husband.

They decided to remarry because the feelings have returned to romantical ones, they were no longer platonic. They would be back to spending time together, sitting on the balcony, sipping their wines and holding hands as they were watching the sunset. It felt just like old times.

And yes, he was present when Damian was born. He may or may have not cried in private. What can he say, he just felt like he had a family. Ra's was happy too, with an heir worthy of taking over the League. Of course, the father being Bruce Wayne, Damian is more than worthy of being the Leader once Ra's no longer there.

Once Damian turned 9, (Y/N) went back to travelling the world. He enjoyed it.

It's been years since he came back from the travel. The League was oddly quiet. (Y/N) didn't think much of it and came back to take a break, bringing food and gifts for everyone. He didn't expect to see a fight breaking out, but he has decided to stand by and watch. He was too jet lagged to even think about fighting. So he waited as he ate, completely entranced into the fight. Ra's fought with ferocity against Batman.

Talia was busy with the 4 birds, Damian included. He watched his daughter fighting, impressed by her skills. Ra's has taught her very well. He took a chair and then sat down to watch. Both Ra's and Talia fought with ferociousness, using every tactic they could remember to fight off the Bats as the family was called that to shorten it up.

And (Y/N) found the nickname really funny. He leaned back into the chair, watching in fascination.

" Mother?! " Talia exclaimed, making everyone freeze.

" Grandmother?! " Damian exclaimed, but from excitement. Damian didn't see him for a long time and Talia hadn't expected him to come back yet.

Damian run to him and (Y/N) gave him a hug. He missed his grandson and once he heard that he was in Gotham, he had an urge to visit. But God only knows how Bruce would have reacted. He probably wouldn't have let in anyhow. And despite (Y/N) being an Al Ghul, he has enough respect to not break into the Manor. And he didn't want to make a bad impression on his unofficial son in law.

" Hello Damian. How are you doing? " (Y/N) asked Damian, while everyone else watched.

" I've been doing well. And you grandmother? "

" Is that really still stuck? Call me grandpa. Not grandmother. "

" I prefer grandmother. "

" Of course you do. A Robin suit? Nice. I hope Bruce is treating you well. Otherwise I'll have to turn on my protective mode, " (Y/N) said to Damian, who actually chuckled.

" I'm doing well in Gotham. "

" Good. Good... Also, I might come to visit soon. " The last part was directed at Bruce and (Y/N) wasn't going to take no for an answer. His grandson comes first. Alongside his daughter.

" Now, fighting is over. I'm jet lagged beyond belief so I would kindly ask the birds and the big bat to leave. Fight in a few weeks, I don't care. Right now, some peace and quiet sounds good, " (Y/N) has declared, making Ra's smirk.

" Of course beloved. Anything for you. " Ra's said and (Y/N) nodded, happy to have his way after the stupid jet lag.

" Good. Also, nice to meet you the rest of the birds, but I have no time to chat. " (Y/N) took his things into his hands and then left to his shared bedchambers with Ra's.

[gothamite-rambler]

Bruce trying to explain where he was when he lost his memory

Jason (eyeing Bruce skeptically): You lost your memory?

Bruce (nodding matter-of-factly): Yep.

Dick (raising an eyebrow in disbelief): Then… you became a teacher?

Bruce (shrugging slightly): Yep.

Tim (leaning forward, curious): And got into a relationship?

Bruce (glancing to the side, slightly embarrassed): Yep. She was nice, but she couldn’t match my—uh, let’s just say Selina can do things for me that she couldn’t.

His sons screamed and covered their ears at the mention of Bruce’s escapades. Bruce stopped talking with an eyebrow raised.

Bruce (scolding tone): You're all childish.

Dick (covering Damian’s ears, looking exasperated): None of us need to hear about that and Damian is a child.

Bruce (flatly): I’ve had “the talk” with all of you, except Damian.

Damian (moving Dick’s hands from his ears, unimpressed): I’m good! Let’s get back to the questions. You had memory loss, became a teacher—I’m not sure how that was so easy—and got a girlfriend. Okay, sure. I think we can all move on from the fact that you were just living a normal life.

Bruce (shrugging): Eh, it was passé. The teacher’s salary wasn’t much to live on alone.

Dick (pointing a finger in Bruce’s direction): Bruce, please focus.

Bruce (gesturing to Jason with an inviting nod): Right, you’re leading to a main question. I know where this is going, and I expected it. Um… Jason, I feel like you’ll ask this the best way.

Jason (raising an eyebrow, intrigued): Oh, thanks. All right, so yes, we can let that go. But when Bloom was here, you had Alfred strap you into a memory-regaining chair that can kill anyone who's not you. But if it's you, it’ll work and you'll be brought back to life as a bright light shines on your face.

Bruce (hesitating, then nodding): Yep… I swear I’m a super genius.

Jason (laughing, confused): WHAT THE FUCK?!

Bruce (chiding playfully): Language.

Damian (leaning in, genuinely curious): No, that word's usage is warranted here. Why do you have that?!

Tim (concerned, trying to wrap his head around it): How did you set it up to do that?

Dick (throwing his hands up dramatically): Why didn’t I get one?!

His brothers (in unison, surprised): What?!

Dick (throwing his hands in the air, exasperated): I lost my memory too and became Ric Grayson, but he didn’t have a freaking magic chair for me?! The audacity! The betrayal, Bruce!

Bruce (shrugging, as if it were no big deal): I had the chair set to cause brain death if it was an imposter, but for the person it's meant for the result feels like your brain is about to explode. I didn't want to inject you into that; it hurt me when I went through it. The imposter could recover, I know people who can help with that, but it’s not fun going through it. I had to set up a fancy light and everything.

Jason (leaning back, eyes wide in disbelief): How much did that cost you?

Bruce (grinning proudly): I stopped counting dollars when I passed billionaire status.

Jason (looking around, still amused): Got me there! Who’s next to ask a question?

Tim (frowning with concern): Bruce, that’s not a good thing that you experience that pain… Why do you insist on subjecting yourself to weird pain?!

Bruce (flatly): Why do you enjoy electroshocks?

Tim (throwing his hands up in frustration): I do not talk about that! Weren't you concerned if you went brain dead and the light you set up didn't do anything? You just end up a vegetable?

Bruce (calmly explaining): I don't factor those concerns because I'm Batman.

Dick and Tim (in unison): Stop using that as an explanation for everything!

Bruce (doubling down): I will when I can't use it for something! That has not happened yet.

Jason laughed, covering his face in disbelief because all of this was still surreal.

Jason (amused): Even in Gotham, where I've seen you fight aliens and I was brought back to life, this is the trippiest thing to hear. You have a chair that gives you your memories back, but anyone else who uses it will go brain dead. That’s so meticulously messed up and... makes so much sense for you.

Bruce (nodding and missing the point): Thank you, I'm glad you get it.

Damian: Jason, could you not get it? I’m so angry right now I can’t string the correct words together.

Bruce (sighing, trying to explain): I’ll give you a minute to collect your thoughts. I'm sorry I forgot about you, but now that I'm back, I can resume my job as Batman and father. You're welcome.

Dick (stomping his foot upset): Damn it!

Bruce (reassuringly): You can take over when I retire.

Damian: The hell he will!

Bruce: You'll be his Robin, obviously. You won't be left out.

Dick (accepting that part): Huh, that's not a bad trade off, but Damian doesn't seem to agree.

Tim and Jason laughed, both sharing the same amusement as Damian's face turned red.

Bruce (explaining further): As for why I didn't make one for Dick when he got shot in the head and lost his memory, you went missing for months for a start.

Dick: Okay, I'm the victim here; I went by Ric without a K!

Bruce (shrugging): And I worked as a teacher, so it's not a contest. Anyway, why I never equipped the chair for any of you… I just didn't feel like it, honestly.

Bruce crossed his arms, his silence indicating that he didn't feel the need to elaborate further.

Dick (smirking knowingly): That's all he’s going to say about that.

Damian (yelling, flailing his arms in frustration): OH MY GOD, WHY WOULD YOU NOT DO THAT FOR US?!

Bruce (sighing): I wanted you to have the option to start a new life.

Damian (stamping his feet, eyes wide with anger): THAT'S NOT YOUR CHOICE TO MAKE IN THAT SITUATION, YOU GOOBER!

Jason laughed, amused by the youngest Robin's anger.

Damian (continuing): We have been over this; none of us would be better off without you. Tim pretty much adopted you!

Tim nodded while trying to Google if he could make a magic memory chair.

Dick (sitting down in the lounge chair): If the fail-safe is that the person who’s supposed to get the memories lives, why not give us that option for the magic chair?!

Bruce: It's not magic, it's science.

His son (in unison): It's magic, bitch!

Dick (cont'd): Bruce, think about what I went through. I was so mean and weird. I became a taxi driver! Think of all the time I wasted! All the nights without Kori... or Janice... Or Liz. I hated the name Ric Grayson too!

Jason (placing a hand on Dick's shoulder): Ric, I lost my memory and woke up in the lazarus pit; calm down.

Dick (sighing heavily): I'm not letting that go ever. And while I did enjoy being Batman at times, I had to sub for him, and he was off teaching, hooking up with a random woman!

Bruce (looking contemplative): Does that count as cheating on Selina? I’ve been debating this.

Jason (smirking): Nah, you didn’t remember her, so it’s not really cheating. Plus, you dumped the other lady. You should be fine.

Bruce (raising an eyebrow, surprised): Good to know. Thanks, Jason. You're being oddly calm about this.

Jason (relaxed): I’m strangely used to this insanity, and you needed a vacation.

Dick (pointing an accusing finger at Bruce): Dude, he never even asked us if we wanted that chair!

Jason (chuckling): You weren't complaining about being Batman!

Dick (complaining, pouting): That’s very true… but I had to deal with Babs' serial killer brother. That wasn’t fun.

Jason (grinning mischievously): That was kind of cool, though. And you can keep mocking Babs about it.

Dick (smirking cheekily): Not if I want explicit photos kept secret. The moment I get those pictures, I will mock her though

Tim (gesturing emphatically): We’re veering so off-topic. Ric Grayson happened, Dick Grayson as Batman was fun, but Bruce, we want memory chairs!

Bruce (holding out his arms for a hug): All right, I can try to set up your own memory sessions for the chair in a few weeks. But can’t you just be happy I’m alive and back?

Bruce held out his arms for a hug. Damian stomped off in frustration.

Damian (storming off): I could handle the memory surge and not go brain dead! I'm going to my room, Father!

Tim (smiling softly): Hm… I’m hugging you. We only get these once in a while.

Tim hugged Bruce, joined by Dick, who sighed, initially annoyed but ultimately happy to have his father back. Jason shrugged and then joined in the group hug as well.

[smusherina]

bridges burnt - chapter 2 [epilogue series] (regina george x reader)

fandom: Mean Girls (all media)

pairing: Regina George x OFC/Reader

summary: When an invitation to Gretchen Wieners' wedding ended up in your mailbox, you'd been sure it was a mistake. Only, it read your name in neat, swoopy calligraphy. It was addressed to you. And Regina George, whom you hadn't spoken to in years.

additional clarification: This is set in the universe of yard work, a series of mine that can be found on my page! Reading this one might be a bit challenging without the context of the series :)

chapter 1 / chapter 3

You stared at yourself in the mirror. Your suit was still immaculate thanks to your incessant fiddling, adjusting, and pruning. If not for the gel wearing out in your hair and the sweat beading your brow, the illusion was almost believable. Your rings clinked against the sink's enamel, your silver accents glinting in the fluorescent lighting, while a person did their business in the stall behind you. You sighed and washed your hands.

Damn, the soap was nice. They'd really gone all out for the reception, the fall theme extending even to the cinnamon spice soap bars.

Who were you even trying to fool? You were hiding in the bathroom. You'd arrived on the scene of the reception party in relatively high spirits, convinced all was fine and dandy, that Gretchen was looking to make amends in this small way. But you'd been wrong.

The invitation hadn't been a fluke. There hadn't been some mistake, because on the little plaque where your name was scrawled in neat cursive sat another right next to it. On the round table where you'd be sitting, there would be Regina George directly to your left. On your other side would be Shane Oman. Across from you, Damian and Janis.

You stepped out of the bathroom, a lump still firmly lodged in your throat but resolve found. You'd brave it, be an adult about it. The breakup had been perfectly amicable, for the most part anyway, so there was no reason for you to be so wound up.

"The maid of honour is a major bitch." Amanda sidled up to you as you walked towards your table. She directed you to the bar by the arm.

"She won't let us switch?" You asked, dismayed but not surprised.

"She won't even let you move to the spare table," Amanda said indignantly. "The whole time, I swear, she was lookin' me up and down all judgy."

"Ugh," You groaned. "Can she get your strongest drink?" You motioned for the bartender. The man nodded with a smile, seeming relieved to be rescued from the old lady chatting him up. He was a good-looking fella, tattoo sleeves and a military haircut.

"Anything for you?" He asked you, eyes lingering on Amanda shyly. Amanda leered at him unabashedly, batting her eyelashes while he made her drink.

"Just a coke." You'd been sober for a good couple of years now, free of all substances. You'd had a nasty relapse in college, a disgraceful return to party drugs and obscene amounts of alcohol, but you'd been able to find your footing since. Largely due to Amanda's intervention.

"You gonna be alright?" Amanda asked, for now deciding not to make a move on the bartender. You knew she was biding her time, establishing tension before she struck. She picked up men like a shark.

"Sure, yeah. It's gonna be okay. It's just, y'know, my ex. And her ex. And her nemesis and that nemesis' best friend. All good."

Amanda eyed you warily. You sipped at your coke through a straw. She, too, took a large gulp.

By the time the bride and the groom made their entrance, you were sitting in your spot, desperately trying not to make eye contact with the other occupants of the table. Shane was squirming on your right, fiddling with what seemed to be an engagement ring. Janis and Damian, sitting across from you, didn't seem to have changed much, except obviously grown up.

Janis was still unapologetically goth, though seemingly turned more toward clean, angular lines rather than messy, smudged blacks. She had on a dress and a shawl, beaded bangles and silver jewellery covering her wrists. She'd gotten more piercings since you last saw her. Angel bites on her upper lip, a bridge between her eyes, and stretched ear lobes. There were some bold tattoos as well, such as a rose crawling up her neck and the head of a snake on the back of her hand, extending up her arm.

Damian was in a cute, velvety green suit. His shirt, white with light green fleur de lis patterns, had ruffles going down the buttons. The length of its sleeves also surpassed that of the suit's, which made the whole look seem kind of piratey. His natural hair, a poofy afro, the bulky red-tinted glasses, and the pointy boots he had on gave off a bohemian seventies disco star vibe. He had a very specific aesthetic and you couldn't help but be impressed.

The seat on your left was pointedly lacking a person. Only the plaque was there along with its elegant scrawl. You crossed your legs and threaded your fingers together, bracing for the moment somebody said something to you. Or you were forced to do it yourself.

"So..." There it comes. Surprisingly it was Shane, of all people. "You and Regina."

"Huh?" You made a sound.

"I mean, you're here together, right? That's what I heard." He scratched at his neck, seeming nervous. All the confidence and obnoxious self-assurance seemed to have melted off of him.

"No, you- what? Where'd you hear that?"

"Just some nasty gossip. Don't worry about it. Aaron and I know what it's like." He smiled supportively but somewhere in the crevices of his cheeks, it seemed sad. "Have you been out for long?"

Your eyebrows furrowed. Shane and Aaron? Was he saying what you thought he was saying?

"Um, pretty much since high school. To be fair, I didn't tell a lot of people back then. You know how Northshore was." He nodded along solemnly. "But in college I sort of bit the bullet."

"That's really brave. Aaron and I haven't been out for long, only since the new law passed." He still seemed cautious and shy, but talking about Aaron clearly made him happy.

"When did you two get together?"

As Shane began to tell the tale, you slowly began to relax. Maybe Regina wouldn't even show up. If you and Gretchen were estranged, Regina and she were even more so. Regina had never given you details, but you did know Gretchen had been heavily involved in your shitty junior year. They'd had an explosive, very public falling-out that'd led to a whole lot of drama.

By that point, you'd sort of checked out of high school as well as your relationship with Regina, so you'd paid very little attention.

"Oh, here she comes," Shane pointed behind you, cutting off his own story. You whirled around, back crackling as you twisted your spine.

Regina George, in the flesh. Your mouth watered, pupils dilated, and there was no way you could've suppressed your reaction. Her eyes were locked on yours, a predatory glint in her eye as she strutted towards your table.

You almost didn't hear Damian's whistle or Janis' stunned laugh, but as Regina shifted the white fur stole she had to reveal her shoulders and chest, you went wholly deaf to all but the clack of her heels.

She had on a baby pink bodycon dress with a slit sinfully high up on her thigh, satin hugging her hips sensually. She had on white high heels with thin straps at the ankle and fur at the tops of her toes.

Her makeup was natural, with subtle browns and blacks, except for the prominent blush she'd picked. Her hair was a warmer blonde than before, complimenting her tanned skin. She had on golden jewellery, a familiar golden necklace resting on the dip of her clavicles like a taunt.

She kept on advancing towards the table. You could do little else but stare, slack-jawed at the visage of her. Other people were staring too, you could tell. You could only imagine what Gretchen was doing with her face at the moment, perhaps scowling like a pug or maybe looking like she was about to cry. Regina was but a guest and yet...

Regina was never just Regina. You knew that better than anyone. No matter how she dressed, behaved, or what her priorities were, she was an innate presence that influenced those around her. Gretchen inviting her to this wedding was essentially like shooting herself in the foot.

Regina didn't have to try to snatch the attention of the room, but when she did, there was no competition. And Regina had gone all out. You could tell by the movements of her hands, the way her lashes fluttered, and how her mouth parted just a little. It was obvious, at least to you, that Regina was doing what she did best: Revenge.

"Hi, baby," She cooed down at you. You took a moment to react, surprised by how she was suddenly there, right in front of you.

Her hands reached for you, long acrylics brushing against your collar, then your neck, then the back of your neck and in your hair. Her thumbs directed your head to tilt up. She pulled you close as she leaned down and then—peach lipgloss, glittery eyeshadow, saccharine perfume—your skin tingled where she touched you, sparks going off behind your eyelids as they fell closed, bliss pouring out of your pores as you became filled with it.

You kissed her back, took hold of her hips and pulled her to stand between your legs. Fuck, this was bad. But, fuck, it felt good to kiss her again.

Distantly, like someone shouting into the water in which you were submerged, you realized that this was perhaps the worst way, place, and time you could've reunited with Regina.

Even so, you kissed deeper, licking into her mouth until she made a sound you'd so missed all these years. Just as you began debating the pros and cons of laying her down on the table right there in the open, Shane tugged hard on your shoulder.

"What?" You grumbled, turning to him with a glare already in place.

He was red-faced, and frazzled, but had on a wide grin. "Get it, girl, but calm down. The mother of the bride looks like she's about to implode." He inclined his head towards the long table where all the important people sat. The mother of the bride did indeed look to be on the precipice of a furious blow-out.

"Okay," You swallowed, sense slowly coming back to you.

"Ugh, you're such a party pooper, Shane." Regina pulled away, leaving your palms achingly empty. She didn't go far though. She sat down on her chair before reaching into her white Valentino bag and pulling out some napkins. Then, she leaned in again.

Your eyes fluttered closed and lips puckered. Regina laughed.

"Silly, you have gloss all over your face."

"Oh," Your eyes opened. Gosh, that was embarrassing.

Regina wiped your mouth. Then, she pulled out a compact mirror and fixed her own lips. You watched her do all this. She and Shane started chatting. Apparently, they'd been in somewhat regular contact.

You'd just kissed Regina George. After, what, eight or nine years? In front of the whole goddamn venue. In front of Gretchen, in front of Gretchen's family, in front of basically your entire year from high school.

You got up. "Oh, where are you going?" Shane asked, all innocent. You hoped you didn't look as panicked as you felt. He didn't seem to think anything was wrong. You glanced at Regina.

Fuck. She totally knew. Obviously, she knew you. She could read you like a book.

"Smoke. Be back in a few." You fled.

"I'm coming too," Janis said.

Notes: Sorry for the long break everybody! I graduated and had a party for that! Went on a little trip to the countryside with friends! And now, at last, I'm back at my desk and ready to churn out some long overdue chapters.

Taglist posted separately! Comment on that post to get on it if you want!