#damage to my healing aside

[monster-noises]

See the thing I apparently don't feel a lot of pain from things like Greivous Injuries or Surgery which already makes taking recovery time feel kinda Fake.

But when I had Top surgery, I was confined in an elastic chest binder with bandages I had to change daily so it had like.. the several weeks I took off work had at least an Air of Formality to it?

But recovering from Hysto is just like..

i am Sitting

In my Pajamas.

I can sit up straight, sleep on my side, I have no bandages to change or care for, i can move freely, get up and do my normal daily stuff largely unimpedded... It feels incredibly Fake.

Like I.. shouldn't need six weeks off? I'm like Fine????

And i know I it's very much an Antibotic Stupidity Principle Thing, where just because ot feels like I don't Need means it's Working and i should Keep Doing It so that it Keeps Working..

But ooooo i am a man built on Guilt and the idea that I'm sitting home Feeling Fine (recovering from major surgery) on a paid leave and not returning to work???? What am I doing!!! I should be returning to work Monday! I'm in virtually no pain or discomfort, I'm fully functional, it's fine! This would be Fine!! (it wouldn't be, there would be Problems)

Like AHHHH

[thegreatyin]

ohhh you wanna raise blemishine so bad. you want to raise her to m9 and use her in every stage. i am placing a spell of horse appreciation upon ye

[poorlittlevampire]

unrelated but i did check my acheron relics and theyre all rated a but she does so little damage and i am getting nothing better when i grind for new relics its such a pain shes my only other real dps so i need her to be good

[tealvenetianmask]

I want to talk about a kind of troubling reaction I've been seeing to both Apology Tour and Ghostfuckers among parts of the fandom. The person is usually a reaction youtuber but sometimes someone writing on tumblr or twitter. They say something along the lines of "oh, I'm glad Blitz is being forced to confront his crimes/traumas/pain. This is the only way he will finally heal."

That's not how healing works.

I know that reaction youtubers don't always have the most developed takes because they're . . . you know . . . reacting in the moment. But I think it's still worth talking about.

I'm going set aside the people who seem to believe that Blitz needs to be punished for his crimes, and address those who genuinely think that getting a tidal wave of his own trauma in his face is what he needs to heal.

There's an attitude in contemporary culture that traumas are something people need to confront. As in, put on a brave face and dive in like a big boy. I blame capitalism, rugged individualism, and all the pieces of media that tie up a character's arc neatly by having them confront their darkest fears and insecurities. It can put a nice bow on things, but it isn't really how healing from trauma works.

Apology Tour:

Blitz gets confronted by a shit ton of people who hate him, at least some of whom are his exes, who he feels he's personally damaged. The decor and party games are all about killing and torturing him. Verosika confronts him about how much he hurt her. Oh, and then he sees the love of his life, who he's just recently pushed away, making out with another guy- proof, in his eyes, that Stolas is happier without him. And this all reflects the underlying fears he already has about who he is as a person (shown to us by Truth Seekers).

So what was the takeaway? Blitz came to the conclusion that he doesn't always want to be like this (good, but like . . . worth this much pain?). He flops on his steering wheel (relatable). He stops trying to reach out to Stolas (uh oh . . . ). He spends A MONTH spiraling in his own misery and making a mess of all aspects of his life until he's dragged out of it by a caring friend.

The party doesn't empower Blitz to change. It knocks him down and fucking traumatizes him (seriously, images of Stolas from the party show up later in his trauma reel) too much for him to be able to do actually work toward said change. I suspect that if left to his own devices, he would have kept spiraling for quite a while longer. It's one thing to want to change, and another to try to do so alone in the aftermath of a pile-on.

Ghostfuckers

After Blitz drags himself out of his hole of cheesy ice cream and despair to "play sex ghosts" (escapism, again, still knocked down by Apology Tour), infester demon Rolando picks him out as an easy target and assaults him, yes, assaults, with horrific images of his worst traumas and fears.

Not to state the obvious, but Rolando isn't interested in helping Blitz heal. He's trying to kill the guy. He wants to engulf Blitz in his trauma to the extent where he's consumed by it and loses the will to fight back. And as some excellent posts by others have pointed out already, he very likely would have succumbed if not for Millie's support.

Millie helps Blitz get through the onslaught by telling him about what makes him great and how he's improved her life and showing him love and care. And by literally beating the fucking infester out of him. Because there's someone in him who's hurting him, who's re-traumatizing him against his will. She takes him away from the reel of horrible memories.

So . . . do I think that confronting traumas can play a role in healing? Sure. But only if it's consensually (which neither of these situations are) and when the person trying to heal is ready. And most likely in small doses. No one's going and successfully confronting every horrible thing that's ever happened to them in one go.

And in my humble opinion, it's not going to work (for anyone, but especially not for Blitz) alone and without a healthy dose of kindness and compassion (both external and internal).

Blitz has a long road ahead of him toward healing, and it's going to be hard work on his part but also require love and support from the people in his life.

In a wonderful moment near the end of Ghosfuckers, Blitz and Millie work together to get Blitz's wrecked van unstuck and push it back through the portal into Hell. I love it because it's so simple and it kind of tells us everything we need to know. This sweet and salty gremlin has a lot of work ahead of him, but he doesn't have to do it alone.

[novaursa]

The Searing Flame

- Summary: Rook's Rest broke you and Aegon both. But it didn't separate you. And Stranger, it appears, has other plans for you.

- Pairing: reader (twin!wife)/Aegon II

- Note: reader is referred to as Y/N and is bonded with dragon Starfyre. Reader's and Aegon's children are mentioned. If you want to read all parts in chronological order, check out my blog. The list is pinned to the top.

- Rating: Mild 13+ (just comfort)

- Word count: 4 078

- Tag(s): @sachaa-ff

The smell of herbs and poultices fills the chamber, mingling with the faint metallic tang of blood that lingers in the air. You can hear the crackle of the hearth, its warmth reaching only the foot of the grand bed where you and your brother-husband, King Aegon II, lie side by side. The once-magnificent room is now a haven of convalescence, the drapery muted and the furniture pushed aside to make room for the needs of the infirm.

Your body aches with a dull, persistent pain that pulses with every breath you take. The effort of sitting upright in the bed is monumental, and the bowl of broth before you seems an insurmountable challenge. The spoon trembles in your hand, the mere act of lifting it exhausting. You glance at Aegon, who watches you with furrowed brows and tense lips, his gaze burning with worry that he cannot hide.

"She struggles with every bite, Orwyle," Aegon states, his voice rough with the lingering pain of his own injuries. His piercing eyes lock onto the Grand Maester, who stands nearby with a face of forced calm. "You must do something about it."

Orwyle shifts uncomfortably, the weight of the king's command heavy upon him. "Your Grace, I have done all that is within my power," he responds cautiously. "The potions and elixirs I've administered should ease her pain, and the fact that the internal bleeding appears to have stopped is a promising sign. But… it is difficult to determine the full extent of the damage. Her body is still fragile, and the healing process is slow."

Aegon huffs, the sound more pained than frustrated, as he fights to push himself up on the bed. His burns throb, and his broken hip sends sharp stabs of agony through his side, yet he ignores it with grim determination. He refuses to let his own suffering deter him from helping you. He inches closer, his face etched with the effort of movement.

"That is not enough," Aegon growls, the intensity in his voice betraying the depths of his fear. He grits his teeth, the motion tugging at the scarred skin of his face. "She needs more than promises and half-answers, Orwyle."

The Grand Maester bows his head, his lips pressed thin. "I understand, Your Grace. I will continue to monitor her condition closely. If there is any change, I will be the first to act. But for now, the best I can advise is rest and sustenance, as much as she can tolerate."

Aegon’s gaze flickers back to you, his eyes softening despite the pain that etches deep lines into his features. He reaches out, his hand trembling as it hovers near yours. The sight of your struggle to eat tears at him, and he can’t bear the thought of you suffering more than you already have.

“Here,” he says, his voice gentler now, laced with the tenderness that he shows only to you. He braces himself as he takes the spoon from your hand, his fingers brushing against yours. The contact is brief, but it sends a warmth through him that no fire could match. With great care, he dips the spoon into the broth and lifts it to your lips.

You try to take the spoonful, but your stomach rebels, a wave of nausea washing over you. You force yourself to swallow, the taste turning to ash in your mouth. Aegon notices the grimace you try to hide and his expression darkens with concern.

“Easy, Y/N,” he murmurs, his voice soothing despite the tightness in his throat. “Small sips. I’ll help you.”

You meet his gaze, seeing the pain and determination reflected there, and you nod weakly. You know he suffers as much as you do, perhaps more, for he carries not only his own pain but the weight of his love for you. His hand trembles slightly as he brings another spoonful to your lips, and this time you manage to keep it down.

He stays close, ignoring his own agony, focusing entirely on you. Each movement costs him, but he hides it as best he can, his only thought to ease your suffering. He coaxes you to take another sip, and then another, until the bowl is nearly empty. The strain is evident in his features, but the small victories — each spoonful you manage to swallow — give him strength.

Orwyle watches in silence, his face betraying a flicker of admiration for the king’s devotion. He knows better than to offer more words; they would be hollow compared to the actions unfolding before him. The love between the two of you is a force that no wound, no scar, can diminish.

Finally, when you can take no more, Aegon sets the bowl aside, his breath ragged from the exertion. He settles back onto the pillows beside you, his hand still lingering near yours as if he cannot bear to be apart from you. He closes his eyes, his chest rising and falling with the effort of merely breathing, but a faint smile tugs at his lips.

“We will get through this, Y/N,” he whispers, more to himself than to you. “I will not lose you. Not to wounds, not to fate.”

His words are a promise, one he intends to keep no matter the cost. And as you both lie there, battered and broken but together, you feel a flicker of hope kindle in your heart. The road to recovery will be long, and the scars will never fully fade, but with Aegon by your side, you believe you might survive the storm.

The corridors of the Red Keep are dim, the flickering light from torches casting long shadows along the stone walls as Grand Maester Orwyle makes his way to the private chambers of Dowager Queen Alicent. His heart is heavy with the weight of the news he must deliver, and his footsteps are slow, as though he wishes to delay the inevitable conversation.

When he reaches the door, he pauses for a moment, gathering his thoughts before rapping softly on the wood. A moment later, the door swings open, and Alicent, her face lined with worry and exhaustion, beckons him inside.

“What news, Orwyle?” Alicent asks immediately, her voice strained with the tension of too many sleepless nights and too many fears unspoken. She gestures for him to sit, but he remains standing, his expression grave.

“Your Grace,” he begins, bowing his head slightly, “I bring some news from the King and Queen’s chamber. Queen Y/N managed to eat today, with great effort.”

Alicent’s breath catches, and her eyes shine with unshed tears. The relief that floods her is palpable, her shoulders sagging slightly as if a great weight has been lifted from them. She clasps her hands together, pressing them to her chest as a sob escapes her lips.

“Thank the gods,” she whispers, her voice trembling. “Thank the gods… I feared the worst…”

Orwyle allows her a moment to savor the relief, though his expression does not soften. The moment is bittersweet, and he knows it will not last long. Alicent’s joy is short-lived, for the maester’s next words are as heavy as iron.

“Your Grace… I must also speak of something more… delicate.” He hesitates, choosing his words carefully. “I believe it would be wise to consider… separating the King and Queen into separate chambers.”

Alicent’s head snaps up, her eyes widening in shock and disbelief. The mere suggestion seems absurd, even cruel, and she stares at Orwyle as though he’s gone mad.

“Separate them?” she repeats, her voice rising in incredulity. “You would have them suffer the torment of being apart? Even for a moment? They are all that each other has—how can you suggest such a thing?”

Orwyle’s face remains impassive, but there is a deep sadness in his eyes as he continues. “Your Grace, I do not suggest this lightly. I know how much they depend on one another, how their bond has sustained them through these trials. But… it is precisely because of that bond that I suggest this course of action.”

Alicent’s hand grips the armrest of her chair, her knuckles white with the force of her anger. The thought of her daughter and son being parted is abhorrent to her. She shakes her head vehemently.

“No, Orwyle. I will not allow it. To separate them now, when they are both so gravely injured… It would be a death sentence for them both. They will suffer more from being apart than from any physical wound.”

The Grand Maester bows his head, knowing what he must say next will only cause her further anguish. “Your Grace, I fear… Queen Y/N’s condition may be more dire than we hoped. While the internal bleeding appears to have stopped, her body is still fragile. She struggles with every breath, every movement, and I cannot be certain that she will recover.”

Alicent’s breath hitches, and she stares at Orwyle with dawning horror. The implication of his words sinks in like a stone dropping into a dark pool, sending ripples of dread through her. “You… you think she will die,” she says, her voice barely above a whisper.

Orwyle does not answer immediately, but the silence speaks volumes. Alicent’s eyes fill with tears, but they are no longer tears of relief. They are tears of rage, of sorrow, and of fear for her children.

“You want to separate them,” she chokes out, her voice shaking with emotion, “so that Aegon doesn’t wake up to find his sister dead beside him.”

The accusation hangs in the air, sharp and cutting. Orwyle winces, but he does not deny it. “Your Grace… it would be an act of mercy,” he says quietly. “If the worst were to happen… it might spare the King the pain of that moment. And it would allow the Queen to… to pass peacefully, without causing her brother-husband further torment.”

Alicent rises from her seat, her tears forgotten as fury takes hold. “Mercy?” she spits the word as though it is poison. “You would take my daughter from her husband, from her twin, and put her in some cold, lonely room to die alone? You would have her pass without the comfort of his presence, without the warmth of his hand in hers?”

Her voice rises, her grief fueling her anger. “I will not allow it! She will not die alone, cast aside like some… some useless thing! She is the Queen, and she is Aegon’s other half! He would never forgive himself if he were not with her in her final moments—if those moments come at all!”

Orwyle bows his head, accepting her wrath without protest. He knows she is right in her own way, that separating the twins could do as much harm as good. But he also knows the toll that the Queen’s death would take on the King if it were to happen in such a manner.

“Your Grace,” he says softly, “I only wish to spare them both as much pain as possible. But I will not act without your consent.”

Alicent’s chest heaves with the effort of containing her emotions. She closes her eyes, struggling to find some measure of composure. When she speaks again, her voice is steadier, though the pain in it is unmistakable.

“You will do no such thing, Orwyle. They will stay together, as they have always been. If my daughter… if she is to die, then let her die with her husband beside her. And if Aegon is to lose her, then let him be there, holding her, as he deserves.”

Orwyle inclines his head in a gesture of respect. “As you wish, Your Grace. I will see to it that their care continues as it has been.”

Alicent nods, her eyes still filled with unshed tears. “Leave me,” she says quietly, and the Grand Maester obeys, bowing once more before retreating from the room.

When he is gone, Alicent sinks back into her chair, the strength drained from her limbs. She buries her face in her hands, and at last, the tears she has been holding back flow freely. The thought of losing her daughter, of watching her son suffer such a devastating blow, is more than she can bear.

But she will not let them be parted. Not now. Not ever.

In the dim, flickering light of the chamber, the Dowager Queen weeps, her heart breaking for the children she has always tried so hard to protect, knowing that in this, there is no protection she can offer.

The chamber is steeped in a comforting silence, broken only by the soft crackling of the fire in the hearth. The warmth it offers is gentle, a stark contrast to the coldness that lingers in your bones. The ache in your body has dulled slightly, allowing you to lie beside Aegon without the overwhelming need to close your eyes against the pain. His presence beside you, the steady rise and fall of his chest, brings a sense of peace that you haven’t felt in what seems like an eternity.

Aegon is quiet as well, though you can feel the tension in him, the way his body lies rigid against the soft pillows. You turn your head to look at him, your eyes heavy with exhaustion. He meets your gaze, and you see the flicker of something in his eyes — a sorrow, a fear that he hasn’t voiced yet. He studies your face with an intensity that makes your breath catch, and you notice the way his brow furrows slightly, as though he is searching for something.

His gaze lingers on your cheeks, and a small, sad smile tugs at the corner of his lips. "Your cheeks… they've regained some color," he murmurs, his voice hushed as if speaking too loudly might shatter the fragile peace between you. "But… you still look like a ghost, Y/N. A beautiful ghost… but a ghost all the same."

You try to smile, but the effort is too much, and you settle for a soft sigh. "It’s been a hard few weeks," you say gently, your voice a whisper, nearly lost in the crackle of the fire.

Aegon nods, his eyes drifting down to where your hand rests on the coverlet. His fingers move slowly, aching as they intertwine with yours. For a moment, he simply holds your hand, his thumb brushing lightly over your knuckles. The warmth of his touch spreads through you, but it’s the sadness in his eyes that draws your attention, the way his jaw tightens as though he’s holding something back.

Then, without warning, his composure cracks. A choked sob escapes his lips, and his shoulders tremble as the tears start to fall. He tries to hide it, turning his face into the pillow, but you feel the tremor in his grip, the way his breathing becomes uneven.

"Aegon," you whisper, squeezing his hand, trying to offer what little comfort you can. "What’s wrong?"

He shakes his head, but the sobs keep coming, his pain spilling out in a way that he can no longer control. His voice, when he finally speaks, is thick with grief and fear. "I… I’m terrified, Y/N," he admits, his words broken by the weight of his emotions. "I’m terrified that I may never be able to… to make love to you again."

The admission hangs in the air between you, raw and vulnerable. You feel a pang in your heart, not for yourself, but for him, for the fear that drives his tears. You know that your bodies have been broken, that the road to recovery is uncertain, and that the intimacy you once shared might never be the same. But to hear it from him, to know how deeply it troubles him, cuts deeper than any physical wound.

You reach up with your free hand, your fingers trembling as they brush against his cheek, wiping away the tears that have gathered there. "Aegon," you say softly, "that isn’t what’s important. What matters is that we’re here, together. As long as we have each other… that’s all that truly matters."

He shakes his head again, his tears flowing more freely now. "But it is important, Y/N," he insists, his voice breaking. "It’s important to me. I… I want to hold you the way I used to, to love you the way I always have. I’m terrified that… that I won’t be able to do that anymore, that we’ll lose that part of us."

You feel his anguish as though it’s your own, and your heart aches for him. His fear is more than just about physical intimacy; it’s about the connection that you’ve shared since birth, the bond that has always been a source of strength for both of you. You know that in his mind, the loss of that connection is tied to the loss of something even greater — the fear that the bond between you might weaken, that the love you share might fade in the face of your suffering.

You tighten your grip on his hand, your resolve hardening. "Aegon, listen to me," you say, your voice steady despite the exhaustion that pulls at you. "We have faced dragons, battles, and betrayals together. We’ve been through hell, and yet, here we are. That connection we share, it’s not something that can be broken by this, by anything. We’re more than just our bodies. Our love is stronger than that."

He looks at you, his eyes filled with a mixture of sorrow and hope. "But what if… what if I’m not strong enough? What if…"

"Then we’ll find our way together," you interrupt, your voice firm. "It doesn’t matter how. We’ll heal, Aegon. Maybe not in the way we were before, but we’ll heal. And we’ll find new ways to love each other, new ways to be close. We will not lose each other."

Aegon’s sobs quiet, though the tears still streak down his cheeks. He leans forward, pressing his forehead against yours, the closeness offering a comfort that words cannot. "I don’t want to lose you," he whispers, his voice barely audible, trembling with the depth of his emotions.

"You won’t," you promise, your voice soft but filled with conviction. "We’ll get through this, Aegon."

He nods, though the fear still lingers in his eyes. But there is a glimmer of something else now, something that wasn’t there before — a fragile hope, a belief that maybe, just maybe, you’ll find a way to survive this, too.

The aftermath of Rook's Rest still haunts you after many weeks, lingering in the air like the scent of charred flesh. The pain has not lessened, not truly, but you have grown accustomed to it, learned to live with the ache in your bones, the memories that sear through your mind as vividly as dragonfire. Aegon remains bedridden, his hip shattered, but his burns are healing, the flesh knitting together in agonizing slowness. You, too, bear your scars—though less visible, they are no less severe. The Seven have seen fit to keep you alive, and for that, you are grateful. You tell yourself that over and over again, especially on the nights when the pain becomes too much to bear.

Despite the grim prognosis given by the maesters, you manage to rise each day, your limbs heavy as if laden with chains, yet you rise all the same. Aegon watches you with those familiar violet eyes, a mixture of awe and frustration in his gaze as you shuffle to his side, determined to care for him as much as he has for you. He hates to see you struggle, hates the reminder of how close he came to losing you, but there is nothing to be done about it. You are still here, and so is he, and that is enough.

“Y/N,” Aegon murmurs as you approach, his voice low and rough, as if the words themselves cause him pain. He tries to sit up, grimacing as the movement sends a jolt of agony through his hip. You are quick to place a gentle hand on his chest, urging him to stay still.

“Let me,” you say softly, reaching for the bandages that need changing. The scent of salves and ointments fills the room, mingling with the ever-present smell of smoke that seems to cling to your skin no matter how many times you bathe.

Aegon huffs out a breath, frustrated but compliant. “You shouldn’t be doing this,” he grumbles, though there is no true heat in his words. “You need rest as much as I do.”

“I need to be useful,” you reply, unwrapping the old bandages with careful fingers. “And there is no one else I trust with this.”

Aegon falls silent, watching you with a mixture of concern and affection. The truth is, he needs this too—the closeness, the reassurance that you are both still here, still fighting. The loss of your sons weighs heavily on both of you, their absence a gaping wound that refuses to heal. And then there are the dragons—Sunfyre and Starfyre, once magnificent and untouchable, now grounded by wounds that mirror your own.

“How is she?” Aegon asks quietly as you tend to him. “Starfyre?”

You pause, your hand lingering on his shoulder. “She heals, slowly. As we all do.”

Aegon’s eyes flicker with something akin to hope. “Perhaps, when this is all over…”

You nod, understanding what he cannot bring himself to say. When this is all over, when the blood has stopped spilling and the war is won—if such a thing is even possible—perhaps then you will find a way to live again, to reclaim some semblance of the life you once knew. But for now, that future remains distant, an unreachable dream.

A knock at the door draws your attention, and you glance over your shoulder to see Alicent standing in the doorway, her expression weary yet relieved as she takes in the sight of her children together. She enters the room with careful steps, as if afraid of disturbing the fragile peace that has settled over you both.

“My Queen,” Alicent greets you, her voice soft. “How do you fare today?”

“I manage,” you reply, offering her a small smile. “As does Aegon.”

Alicent’s gaze shifts to her son, her eyes softening with maternal concern. “You look better today,” she notes, her tone hopeful.

Aegon snorts, though it’s more self-deprecating than anything. “I look less like a corpse, you mean.”

“Hush,” you chide gently, though you can’t help the smile that tugs at your lips. “Mother is only trying to help.”

Alicent’s lips press together in a thin line as she surveys the two of you, her heartache palpable. “I wish there were more I could do,” she says quietly. “For both of you.”

“You are here,” you reply, reaching out to take her hand in yours. “That is enough.”

Alicent squeezes your hand, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. “I pray to the Seven every day, for yourstrength, for your healing.”

You nod, though your thoughts drift to darker places. The prayers of the faithful have done little to save your children, your dragons. The thought claws at your insides, a bitter resentment that you can never quite quell.

“Do you think she will ever pay for what she’s done?” you ask suddenly, your voice barely above a whisper. “For the deaths of our sons, for breaking our bodies and our dragons?”

Aegon stiffens beneath your touch, his jaw clenching as the old rage flares anew. Alicent’s eyes widen slightly, but she does not shy away from your question.

“Rhaenyra will answer for her crimes,” Aegon says, his voice hard as steel. “She will burn for what she has taken from us.”

The words hang heavy in the air, a promise, a vow that neither of you can afford to break. Alicent bows her head, as if in prayer, and you feel the weight of your shared grief pressing down on you once more.

But in that moment, with Aegon’s hand resting over yours and Alicent standing beside you, you also feel a flicker of something else—a determination, a resolve to see this through to the bitter end. You will survive this, together, and one day, Rhaenyra will pay for the blood she has spilled. The Seven have kept you alive for a reason, and you intend to see it fulfilled.

[welikeimagines-andfandoms]

King To The Rescue- Thranduil x Modern!Reader

Summary: Reader accidentally hurts themselves when they trip over and Thranduil comes to save them

Word count: 1, 167

Walking through the forest of the woodland realm filled you with both joy and sadness. Parts of the forest were still lush and green, filled with life and happiness, but unfortunately most parts were taken over by a great poison, leaving the once beautiful lands to be dark and dangerous.

You weren’t sure why you were brought to Middle Earth, both Thranduil and Gandalf had their theories, but both you and Thranduil believe it might have to do with the poison taking over the lands. To better understand it, you decided to walk among it. Thranduil had agreed to let you do so, as long as you didn’t go too far and wander into the spiders.

He had spent over an hour drawing up different maps and explaining where you can and can’t go. Even though you were not of this world and not as wise as the race of elves, Thranduil still was very protective of you, so protective in fact that this was the first time he had let you venture here alone. Every other time you had walked these woods, it had been with either Legolas, Tauriel or 2 or more guards.

You suppose the reason for Thranduils care was because you were chosen to help heal his lands, and he wanted to keep you safe. It would be stupid to think it was any other reason, although you did sometimes fancy it could be.

Perhaps Thranduil wanted to take care of you for more reasons then just to help him. You try to ignore those ideas though. An elvish king having feelings for human of a different world just isn’t how things work, though it’s hard to ignore that it might be true.

Hard to ignore the way he looks at you when he thinks you can’t see, the way you’re able to make him laugh, the way he shuts down anyone who would try to talk poorly about you, mostly it was hard to ignore his touches. The way his hands felt on your hips when you first started learning to ride a horse, and he’d help you on and off. How his eyes seem to linger when brushing a piece of hair out of your face, or even the way he seemed to always offer his hand to help you stand or walk along uneven ground, even when you didn’t need it.

These thoughts of fancy seemed to cloud your head so blindingly, that you didn’t notice the change in terrain, or that there was a giant root coming out of the ground. Before you had time to catch yourself, you felt the earth thud against your chest and a throbbing pain in your ankle.

Gently twisting your body around, you assessed the damage of your ankle. Looking down you see it’s already starting to swell, but despite that, you try to walk on it. There was no patrol out at the moment and you were sure no one would hear you if you did call for help.

With the assistance of the large tree, you begin to stand from the ground. As soon as you put pressure on your ankle however, you realise how bad of a decision that was. A loud yelp leaves you as you once again fall to the ground.

Hitting the ground with your fist in defeat, you decide calling out would be your only option, you could crawl but you’re pretty sure that would just lead to you getting more hurt.

Turning onto your back, you close your eyes and take a few deep breaths, trying to calm down and smell the lushness of the forest before you. If you were going to call for help, it had to be a good call, and you couldn’t do that if you were hysterical and unfocused.

Opening your eyes again, your calmness helps to push the growing pain aside as you begin to call for help.

“Someone! Help me! I’ve hurt my ankle and I can’t move! Help me!” You shout to the canopy of large trees above you. You’re not sure who will hear, but just hope your message is clear and loud enough.

Closing your eyes and beginning to breathe once again, you prepare yourself to make another call for aid. Luckily, however, as you open your eyes once again, you see none other then the king himself, kneeling beside you with a look of deep worry on his face.

“What trouble have you gotten into now?” He smirks down at you, but his eyes are still filled with worry.

“I tripped over and I’ve hurt my ankle.” You explain, trying not to sound pathetic.

“Ah, so that was the terrible howling I heard. And here I thought the spiders were being hurt, well an elf can dream.” He jokes with you, trying to calm the situation.

“One could only hope. Now I can wait here while you get help to lift me ba-.” Before you could finish your sentence, you felt Thranduils strong hands under your body as he began to lift you from the ground. There’s that touch of his again.

Looking into his face, you expect to see frustration or anger, but you see nothing but care as he stares back at you.

“I’m sorry if I’m too heavy.” You blurt out, not knowing what to say in this moment.

Thranduils rarely seen sweet smile shines onto his face as he looks ahead of him, beginning to take you back to his castle.

“Humans are always so funny. Elves are a lot stronger then the race of men, you feel no heavier then lifting a kitten.” His smile grows as he looks down at you.

Looking into his eyes and feeling his strong arms and hands so sweetly touching you, those thoughts of fancy seem to return with a vengeance.

“Does that mean you’ll feed me milk and scratch behind my ear?” You joke, trying to push your romantic thoughts from your head.

The silly question made Thranduil laugh in a way you’d never seen, it’s like his usual brooding self was washed away with sunlight and star shine.

“Perhaps I might just do that. Let you curl up by the fire and give you a ball of yarn.” He smiles down at you, as you now approach the doors to his kingdom.

Such a joke and such a smile does nothing to calm the feelings that grow in your heart, but you suppose you’ll just have to live with it.

Little do you know however, the image of you cuddled up to Thranduil by his fire as he takes care of you, fill his heart with a similar feeling. He too tries to push them away as he places you on a medical bed and elves begin to help you.

Stepping out of the room he tries to shake his own fancy from his head. How could such a bright and sweet person love an old and bitter elf as himself?

[moonstruckme]

White Lies

summary: when you come back to work soon after getting injured on a case, all you can think about is keeping the public safe from your latest unsub; Spencer's thinking about keeping you safe

cw: case involves kidnapped and murdered women, but no details are given

Spencer Reid x bau!reader ♡ 981 words

You’re aching from sitting up straight in your chair, but you do your best to ignore it. You keep your eyes firmly on the screen as JJ presents an overview of your new case, doing your best to look engaged and attentive. A consequence of your job is extraordinarily perceptive coworkers, which means that when you have something you want to keep to yourself, you often have to go to inconvenient lengths to avoid notice. You’d hustled like never before when you’d gotten the call to come in, getting yourself situated in the briefing room a good ten minutes before anyone else arrived. That meant no one had been around to see you limping into the building, taking your time to sit down in your chair, or downing two extra-strength pain relievers with your coffee. 

Emily had expressed some surprise at seeing you back at work so soon after you were injured in the field and you’d gotten an odd look from Spencer, but neither of them had time to question you further before Hotch entered and began asking for details about the case. This one’s got to do with women being kidnapped and subsequently dumped in rural Texas, and not to be dramatic, but no physical pain can be worse than the torment of not being able to help catch the guy who’s doing this to them. All you have to do now is avoid giving anyone on your team reason to question your capability. 

“News networks have already published some details of the case, so we’ve got some damage control to do,” JJ finishes, “but the local law enforcement is very eager for our help and it seems like they’re going to be open to what we have to say.” 

“Good. Y/N.” Hotch isn’t even looking up from the case, but you snap to attention. “You’re cleared to travel?”

“Yes.” 

“Good.” He snaps the binder shut. “Wheels up in thirty.” 

Everyone else stands, and you stall, waiting until all backs are turned before pushing yourself up out of your chair with a grimace. Spencer turns around at the door, stepping aside for Garcia to pass through, and then you’re alone. 

“You’re cleared to travel?” he asks you.

“Yes,” you repeat yourself. 

Spencer crosses his arms, standing just barely in front of the door. You could push past him if you really wanted to leave, but he knows you won’t. You and Spencer haven’t been together for long, but he’s always had a way of reading you when even the other members of your team can’t. You keep your face carefully blank.

“You’ve barely had any time to heal,” he says. “Who would clear you?”

“A doctor.”

“What doctor?”

You sigh, crossing your arms to match him. “My friend Maggie.” 

Spencer’s eyebrows knit together. “Doesn’t your friend Maggie live in Chicago?”

“She does,” you admit. 

“So how did she determine that you were safe for travel?” 

He’s frowning like he already knows. You think about not answering (what’s he going to do, whine to Hotch about it? They need everyone they can get for a time-sensitive case like this, and you know Spencer is just as aware of that as you are), but then you catch the flicker of worry in his gaze. It’s hard to be angry at him when he’s clearly doing what he thinks will help you most.

“We talked on the phone,” you say, softly but still firm enough that you hope he won’t argue further. “I told her I feel fine, and she cleared me.” 

The sigh that leaves Spencer is so long and heavy you’re surprised his ghost doesn’t come out at the end of it. “Sweetheart,” he says, coming forward to wrap his hands around your arms. His thumbs rub synchronized paths, up and down on the skin above your elbows. “You know that’s not the same as having a doctor actually check you over. We both know you’re not fragile—” he gives you a small smile, and you feel a tug on the corners of your lips in response “—but your body is vulnerable right now. The last thing you need is to make it worse by getting hurt again in the field.” 

You can’t look him in the eyes. You can handle a verbal lashing, but it’s softness like this that wears you down, and Spencer knows it. You fix your gaze on his chin, trying to think past the sproutling of guilt he’s sneakily planted in your gut. 

Spencer gives your arms a light squeeze. “Let me just talk to Hotch,” he says, pushing his advantage. “I’ll tell him about the mixup with your clearance, and then he can decide if you should still come along on this one or not. I’m sure Garcia could use the help if you stay back.” 

You look at him, feeling like a kid chastened for being outside after dark. “Garcia’s a one-woman army, she doesn’t need me. You guys need all the manpower you can get for this case.” 

“I know.” Spencer’s tone is consoling, and that only makes it worse. He drops a kiss on the top of your head. “But I need you to be safe even more than that. Hotch might still decide to let you come, okay? Just…you have to be honest about these things, sweetheart.” He gives you a disappointed look, and you have to look away from his eyes, well-meaning as they are. “Your health is a serious thing. We need you for years, not just for today.” He ducks, catching your gaze. “Okay?”

“Okay,” you say quietly, and Spencer gives you a smile, kissing your cheek. 

“Okay, just give me a minute,” he says, and if he weren’t on the way to foil all your plans, you’d say he looks downright merry as he starts towards Hotch’s office. “I’ll let you know what he says.”

[oriorchids]

hi tumblr. hands you a vega

more thoughts under a read more

they're for a fic i will post eventually (thought they do not show up for like 10 chapters and only meet the party after like 30) and they're my silly little goober of a human loop design. except they're kind of very obviously not human aside from the head. and even then they glow and emit sparkles wherever they go.

their expression is constantly ^w^ until it isn't because they forgot they have a visible mouth. they disappeared from existence and then their survival instinct kicked in and they wished themself back to life. they fell from the sky like a pmd protagonist

they're a walking sadness beacon and have been telling everyone they've met that they're a star that fell from the sky one day for no particular reason. no one where they landed knows who the saviours are because news is slow and they froze like a day into the king's march across vaugarde to dormont. when they first fell back to the earth they were threatened at scissors-point because they were a stranger who fell into someone's garden

they don't become a housemaiden but they do stay in a house for a while since they need to get their bearings. vega didn't have a name for a little while because they didn't want to be loop and couldn't be siffrin, so they just said that stars didn't have names up until they remembered the star vega and decided that's who they were now

gameplay-wise (because i always have gameplay thoughts):

vega is completely typeless and deals typeless damage. using craft they can change their type and do whatever type damage they want, which changes their basic attack until they use another type-changing craft

they probably still have the better healing skill (healy-bealy) they just call it something else. they also have make up the time which they also call something else

they have no qualms about using (just attack.) it's just typeless now. or whatever craft type they are when using it

(speaking of craft types, my dnd brain has been seeing paper as slashing, scissors as piercing, and rock as bludgeoning for a while so. putting that down)

while they start in the 50-somethings level-wise they get to 75 pretty quickly. how? well... sadness magnet

post-game party member that's pretty strong

they share the darkless high-heeled boots with my other human loop (from whumptober). the constellations in their hat are ursa major, lyra, and virgo. vega got the base dress from a friend and edited it while they had time. they also turned their cloak into a cape. the hat is from the universe. it's not even the starry hat, that's in siffrin's hands. it's just a universe-given free wishcraft hat

[too-much-tma-stuff]

Finally Getting Help (pt 12)

Masterpost

“Ya, I have questions,” Jason confirmed, trying not to shift awkwardly in his seat. “I read the slideshow but I don’t seem to fit in either liminals or ghosts, and I have some issues that I think would have been mentioned if they were common?”

“Alright, what are they?” Danny asked tilting his head a little. 

“Well, it’s been better since meeting you, and I know increased aggression was one of the thing mentioned but mine isn’t like Damian’s, or even yours I think. We’ve been calling it Pit Madness. I’ve gotten better at managing it but especially when I got back it was really bad. I… killed a ton of people and I still have a lot of bloodlust that no one is comfortable with.”

“That is unusual, especially directed towards humans. Aside from revenge against whoever killed them dead usually don’t care very much about the living,” Danny said curiously, considering Jason. 

“And I do read as- as dead?” Jason asked, he had been worried about that.

“Well you’re obviously not Dead dead,” Danny said rolling his eyes before he reached across the table. “Here, with touch I can figure out a bit more.” He said and Jason hesitated for a moment before resting his hand in Danny’s.

A cool feeling quickly washed up his arm and over his chest like intangible water. Danny tilted his head to the other side, his brows coming together slowly as he gazed into the middle distance and considered what he was feeling. He let out a hiss and some sort of chitter that couldn’t come from a human throat, then clicked his tongue and the cool feeling dissipated, sinking under Jason’s skin and cooling heat he hadn’t been aware of feeling. 

“Okay, ya that’s weird,” Danny admitted and Jason’s heart dropped. “Best I can equate it to is, like a bone that healed wrong,” Danny said thoughtfully. “You did die before?” He asked, Jason nodded mutely. “Okay, I won’t ask why or how. But best I can tell your soul was shoved back into your body and not given time to get settled back in it’s proper position before whatever was done to bind it in place. So you’re alive but with some.. Spiritual nerve and brain damage. Would you be comfortable telling me how you were resurrected?”

“Well, I resurrected myself apparently. I don’t really remember it but apparently about six months after my death I dug myself out of my grave. Before I could get anywhere the League of Shadows found me and dunked me in the Lazarus pit which is this glowing green stuff that heals the dying and kills the healthy. I don’t remember any of it, it was almost a year before I recovered enough to be myself at all.”

“That actually makes a lot of sense,” Danny said, nodding thoughtfully. “My guess would be at first you came back as a revenant, which is basically when a ghost possesses their own corpse to get revenge, not truly a living being. But then this Lazarus pit resurrected your body and your soul got stuck in your living body again without being prepared or intending for that to happen. 

“That’s what I’m guessing happened but I can’t be sure, and I’m not a healer so I don’t really know what to do about it. I’m sure my ghost doctor Frostbite would be happy to take a look at you though! Looks like we’ll be making an appointment for you too,” He joked making Jason chuckle nervously. 

“Well that’s.. Totally fucked up,” Jason said and Danny nodded.

“Ya, dying is basically always fucked up, coming back Specifically for revenge and then getting stuck here long after that’s a motivating factor is messy. I mean, for a human that would be fine, but for people like us,” He gestured between the two of them. “Obsessions are everything so that’s hard. You’ve been cultivating more healthy obsessions I know but you’ll never be the same,” Danny said, and Jason nodded.

He knew as much, he could never go back. Not that he hadn’t always had these sorts of thoughts and inclinations. Once of the reasons Bruce had taken on him and Dick was their murderous inclinations needed to be curbed, for Dick it had work, for Jason… Well it was a combination of a lot of things, it wasn’t really Bruce’s fault it had failed. Other than the fact that he’d let the Joker live far longer than he should have, but that was bleeding-heart-Brucie for you. It was funny, to not really be mad at Bruce anymore, understanding there was nothing else he could have done, and still not be able to forgive him.

Danny must have noticed how Jason had gotten lost in his own head because he reached across the table and covered one of Jason’s clenched hands with his own, soft and cool. “You’re doing really well Jason. It’s a messed up situation but I don't think anyone could have handled it better then you are,” Danny said softly.

Jason didn’t believe it but it felt good to hear and it did settle him a little bit. “Thanks Danny, that means a lot,” he said, giving Danny’s hand a squeeze before pulling back. 

There was a natural break in conversation as the waitress brought their appetizers, and when she left again Jason didn’t know what to say. Thankfully Danny spoke. “Why don’t I tell you a bit about my doctor? Frostbite can be a lot, as much as it would probably be funny to spring him on you I should probably give you a heads up.”

“Ya, ya that sounds good,” Jason agreed, glad to let Danny do the talking for a bit. And when telling him about Frostbite turned into talking about the Yetis, to talking about the Infinite Realms, to Danny info-dumping about space. Well Jason really doesn’t mind, especially with the way it makes Danny light up. It was good to see him happy.

---------

The food was good but Jason didn’t taste much of it, and aside from going “Oh wow!” When he took his first bite of his food Danny didn’t seem to either. At a certain point Jason realized he was going to have to do some talking or Danny was going to keep talking and wouldn’t eat. So he took over, but he didn’t know much about space so he started talking about literature and poetry and Danny listened raptly and finally ate his food.

It was very nice to have someone listen to him like that, it was sort of funny, it looked like it was as fun for Danny to listen to him talk then it had been the other way. Jason thought about how supporting obsessions was important for ghosts to have their obsessions supported. Reading wasn’t Really his obsession, he didn’t think, but it sure was an interest and it felt really good to get to share with someone new. 

By the end of the dinner Jason has well and truly decided that this was a date. Danny was cute, good, and passionate, and a good listener, Oh and strong as Fuck which was always a turn on for Jason. Speaking of powerful…

“Can I ask you another sort of serious question?” Jason asked after they got their dessert. Danny looked up, mouth full and a little smear of chocolate on his top lip, Jason resisted the urge to reach across the table and wipe it off. Danny nodded. “When Damian gave me his little shovel talk he mentioned that you’re going to be a god some day?” He said, tilting his head. Maybe that was a third date sort of conversation but it seemed like it would be important to understanding Danny.

Danny choked a little and swallowed, sighing heavily. “That’s what I’ve been told,” Danny grumbled. “There’s a prophecy apparently, and with how my powers have been progressing even just in the first 2 years since I died, I can already go toe to toe with some Ancients and win so… Ya, I guess it’s probably inevitable, especially since I haven’t stagnated yet. I don’t want to be one really, I didn’t ask for this, but whatever. I probably can’t stop it.” He slumped back in the booth, looking tired. 

Shit Jason shouldn’t have brought that up. “Hey you’ve got time right? That won’t be for a while. Also, what’s an Ancient?” 

“Very old, very powerful spirits. They’re essentially their own pantheon, Ancient is basically just what ghosts call gods.” He said with a shrug.

“Makes sense, I mean gods usually are ancient. Even more reason you don’t have to worry about that right now. I mean you’re far from ancient,” Jason pointed out, earning himself a little smile from Danny. 

“Ya, you’re right,” He agreed and went back to eating his dessert, the conversation moved on to the music they liked.

When the bill came Jason put his card down without letting Danny see what the bill came to and passed it back to the waitress. They lingered in the booth for a while still chatting, unwilling to part ways yet. If Jason didn’t know his family would want Danny home before they went out on patrol he might have suggested they just go to a park and walk for a while. Talk, maybe each take one of his wireless earbuds and take turns picking songs. But he had a feeling Damian really would try to kill Jason if he didn’t get to see Danny home safe. 

Eventually they left, wandering back to Jason’s motorbike and Danny snuggled up to Jason’s back again as they drove back to the manor. The silence was companionable until Jason pulled up, propping the bike up to let Danny get off. He took off his helmet and handed it back to Jason, not letting go immediately when Jason took it so their hands were touching. 

“This was nice, I had fun,” Danny said, blushing a little and looking down.

“It was, we should do it again soon,” Jason agreed, “I’ll text you okay?” 

“You’d better,” Danny teased before walking back towards the manor. 

Damian opened the door for him, shooting Jason a glare before slamming it making him laugh. He was still a child no matter how much he pretended he wasn’t. Jason kicked off on his bike and zoomed off, heading home to get ready for patrol.

Next

[thatfanficstuff]

Color My World - Haldir (LOTR)

Pairing: Haldir x soulmate!reader

warnings: nothing beyond canon

The forest of Lothlorien loomed before a weary band of travelers, known to some as the Fellowship. Their steps were heavy with exhaustion, a mantle of grief weighing them down. Their companion, the wizard Gandalf, had fallen mere hours before. But they didn’t have time to stop, to allow their hearts a moment to heal. The orcs would come and the group needed to be safely within the depths of the forest before they did.

You walked beside Frodo in the middle of the group, your eyes darting between taking in the beauty around you and keeping an eye on your companions. Sunlight filtered through the leafy canopy above you, bathing the world in golden rays. Even the bark of the trees glittered faintly with hints of gold. You could only imagine how stunning it would be if you had already met your soulmate. All the muted, faded colors you saw would be bright and vivid. You never wished for it more than at moments like this.

“Can you feel the trees watching us?” Frodo’s voice, barely above a murmur, broke the fragile silence.

You placed a hand on his shoulder in comfort. “There have been eyes on us since we stepped foot in the forest, little hobbit.”

He looked up in surprise and you squeezed gently as you gave him a soft smile. “No worries. All be fine.”

“Thank you for being here,” he said, his tone hovering between gratitude and fear.

“We all have our purposes in this life, Frodo Baggins. Mine is make sure you complete yours.”

As you continued, you ignored Gimli’s talk of elven sorceresses and enchantments. You were too focused on the force gathering along the edges of your senses. The elves had sent a welcoming party. Of a sort.

Suddenly and almost silently, the Fellowship was surrounded. Elves with arrows drawn in you and your companions faces. With an arched brow you stepped in front of Frodo and pushed the arrow aside that was nearly brushing your nose. Ridiculous. Arrows did much more damage if they had a little room to move.

“The dwarf breathes so loud, we could have shot him in the dark,” a rich voice said as the most beautiful man you’d ever seen addressed Aragorn. The elf observed your group, taking each of you in. When his gaze met your own, he lingered ever so slightly before turning back to the king. “Why do you enter the woods of the Lady of Light?”

The quiet words stoked something deep inside you, a yearning that had followed you your whole life. A cascade of vibrant color burst forth with the marchwarden at its center. Greens deepened into a multitude of shades. The golden undertones of the trees shimmered with new life.

As he and Aragorn spoke, every syllable from his lips only brought more beauty to your world. And every word bound your soul more tightly to his. You wove your fingers together, a poor effort at self-restraint as you couldn’t seem to tear your gaze from his profile. You’d heard so many stories of this elf and now, seeing him in person, he was everything you could ever desire in a mate. And he was far too important for someone like you. Finally, you tore your eyes away as he turned to lead the Fellowship deeper into the trees.

You weren’t certain how far you walked or how many stairs you climbed before you were greeted by the ethereal presence of Celeborn and Galadriel. You half listened to the conversation about the fate of your wizard as your attention kept flicking over to Haldir who stood to the side looking straight ahead. It felt odd that you were so connected to him and he didn’t even know you existed. That he knew nothing of your bond. It was for the best, you knew that, but it didn’t make your heart hurt any less.

Feeling eyes on you, you turned your head to find Galadriel looking at you though she spoke to the Fellowship as a whole. You bit back a gasp as you heard her lyrical voice in your head. “Within these woods, bonds deeper than the roots of the mallorn trees are forged. You have felt the stirring of such a bond, child of the outside world. Your connection with Haldir is stronger than you know. An intertwining of souls, a sharing of strengths. Together, you harbor magic that will aid you on your quest.”

“Magic?” you thought back.

Rather than answering, the corner of her lips curled into a knowing smile and she gave you a small nod. “When you need it the most, it will be there,” she said aloud. Your companions frowned in confusion but you ignored their questions as Haldir showed all of you to where you would be spending the evening.  

You managed to leave the elves without Haldir finding out who you were to him. Your friends found it odd that you refused to speak louder than a whisper until you were well on your way down the river but you simply waved off their questions. It was better this way. No matter how utterly alone you suddenly felt.

Days turned into weeks. Frodo and Sam had gone off on their own. Boromir had fallen. Gandalf had returned. And now you stood with Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli at Helm’s Deep alongside an army made up mostly of old men and boys. Hope was fleeting that most of you would make it through the night. Gandalf had told you to look for him at the dawn but that was many hours away.

You stood on the wall watching a storm roll in while the others prepared themselves for battle. You’d taken care of that hours ago. A horn blasting drew your attention. Elven archers marched toward the keep. You grinned, feeling hope for the first time in days. The smile fell as you saw who was leading them. Haldir. He wasn’t supposed to be here. It was too dangerous. He was supposed to be safe in Lothlorien.

You watched Aragorn greet him, Legolas by his side. Haldir glanced up when they finished, his gaze finding yours. He studied your face for a moment before nodding a greeting. You nodded in return then slipped away into the crowd, making sure the rabble were as prepared as possible for the coming attack.

While Aragorn moved through the ranks of elves on the wall, you stood with Legolas and Gimli. The hordes of orcs and Uruk-hai approached, banging weapons on the ground as they came. You rested a hand on the dwarf’s shoulder trying to calm him as he bounced around. “Steady on,” you told him as you prepared your bow.

And then they came in a flood of anger and teeth. Chaos reigned around you as you slashed and dodged. Rain fell in heavy drops as lightning flashed in the sky and thunder roared. You focused solely on the opponents around you until King Theoden called for a retreat to the inner walls. Aragorn grabbed your arm and pulled you along as he yelled for the men to fall back. When he turned and yelled Haldir’s name, you turned with him.

Haldir acknowledged the order a breath before he was surrounded by iron and hate. A blade stabbed toward him even as he cut the wielder down.

Heat surged through your veins as fear swamped you. You unleashed your fury with a cry torn from the very depths of your soul. The world seemed to slow as a shimmering shield surrounded your soulmate, deflecting the blade that would have run him through. His eyes found yours, wide with astonishment.

You ignored Aragorn calling your name as newfound strength flowed through you. You weaved through the melee, each step bringing you closer to Haldir’s side. Finally, you reached him and helped dispatch the orcs that swarmed him. When there was an opening for you to move, you grabbed the breastplate of his armor and pulled him toward the stairs. “Move, Marchwarden.”

The battle was over after a last minute save from the Rohirrim and the Ents. As soon as you had a moment to breathe a breath you weren’t convinced would be your last, Haldir grabbed your hand and pulled you to the side where you could have some semblance of privacy.

His hands cradled your face as his thumbs traced your cheeks. He looked you over with wonder.

“Why did you say nothing when first we met?” he asked. “Why keep your connection to me hidden?”

You grasped his wrists in your hands. “If the bond was complete, formed on both sides, what would happen to you if I died on this quest?”

The silence stretched as he studied you. “A partial truth at best, hiril vuin.” (my lady)

You sighed and looked away from him, unable to meet his eye as you confessed. “I did not wish to be a burden upon you. I feared the revelation would be a disappointment.”

He ran his thumbs along your skin again to bring your attention back to him. “You are the furthest cry from a disappointment. Your courage, your strength, your heart…they are gifts more precious than the rarest jewels of my people.”

You searched for any signs of deception from him. Finding none, a smile crossed your face. He mirrored it before leaning forward to press his lips to yours. It took only a moment before you returned the gesture with equal fervor.

For a moment, you could forget about your quest.  Forget about the death that surrounded you. Because here in the midst of so many endings, was your beginning and you intended to hold onto it with all of your heart.

[rbtlvr]

making my tags from the last post their own post, actually, because i went and did RESEARCH for this. SO BASICALLY

according to the wiki loop CANNOT crit in phase one

i dont know if their attack buff actually does anything (id have to fight them to check) since their attacks are based on percentage of your hp. BUT even if it did, they can only buff once per loop in phase one, meaning they can only do one buffed big attack per loop

regular attack does 10% hp (15% with attack buff), big attack does 17% hp (~25% with attack buff)

big attack is every third turn

guarding halves damage, halving the regular attack to 5% and the big attack to 8.5%

you heal 6% every turn with memory of a journey

those three turns where their attack is buffed aside, you can just stand there and guard and only lose a grand total of 0.5% of your hp for every three turns

this also does not take into account attack speed this is just assuming they both attack at the exact same rate. attack speed is gonna vary by level but i opened my act 6 save to check and my sif is level 76 and has 186 attack speed. they also have the scissors equipped which lower attack speed and i. cant unequip them. so. theres that too

so if youre fast enough (high level enough and dont have the scissors equipped like me. oops) you can straight up outheal all of loops attacks given enough turns + just standing there and guarding

loop does not want to hurt siffrin. thank you for coming to my ted talk

[nowheredreamer]

healing soul

Ridoc x reader

Warnings: mild spoilers of Iron Flame

A/N: Hey everyone this is my first fanfic in a loooooong time, like in probably ten years, so I am a little rusty, so be patience. Also english is not my first language so you may find some incohernet things, but I think I did the best to convey what I wanted. So if you find any error please feel free to tell me, and I would also apreciate any feedback because like I said it's been more than 10 years, so any critiscism, feedback, comments are welcome. Thank you, and I hope you enjoy xoxo

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Ridoc didn’t have  many rules regarding his loving life, the man likes to explore the small and big pleasures that life has to offer. But that was a certain primary standard on his life, especially his rider life, that wouldn't trespass his love life. 

One of them was that he didn’t sleep with cadets, not now that he was in his second year. 

The second one was not sleeping with his squad's flings, they were a family after all and Ridoc did NOT like family feuds. 

And his third and last one was he didn't sleep with infantry, scribes or healers. 

It isn't like Ridoc didn't find some of them attractive, he did. But as a rider he just found them  inferior or boring. It was a standard for him, even though in the last months getting with some of the riders wasn't too appealing for him, now that the first year was over most of the riders felt like his family, it was weird being attracted to someone of your family.

And that would have stayed true if it weren't for a certain girl. Ridoc hadn’t thought much of her, but his second year was a little bit rougher sending him a few times to the infirmary. That is where he met the  apprentice healer for the first time.

 ~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~

Havoc. Wildness. Despair. Chaos. Those were the words that Y/N would refer to at this moment.  Cadets and riders were entering the infirmary left and right, the smell of smoke and burned meat infiltrared her nose. Madness. She had not figured out yet what had happened, and she couldn't definitely understand what would have happened to leave so many students burned, burned by flames of a dragon. 

But she couldn’t focus on that right now, not when another cadet, with his body so burned that she could see the bone of his cheek, was put in the infirmary bed before her. 

“Holy shit.” Her friend gulped. Gods, even though this was their second year, she and her classmates have not seen such damage like that before.They have dealt with burns before, I mean learning to deal with burning degrees from dragon flames were a basic thing on their learning, but they haven’t ever dealt with this kind of level.

Both girls pushed their emotions aside so they could start attending to the poor boy, who was now crying of pain.

“You're gonna be okay, we are going to treat you then your body can heal and take the pain away, and it will heal, you will be fine.” She reassured the poor boy.

“ I wanna go home, please.” His voice came with nothing but a small begging whisper, both learners looked at each other. She had a lot of respect for what the riders did once they graduated, but She could never understand or accept the brutal ways they did to get to graduation point. 

She took his hand on hers while attending a small burn on his elbow and promised that everything would be okay. She  didn’t want to lie to him, but the only things she could do right now was trying to offer a little comfort. 

“You shouldn’t lie to him.”  A graved tone came from her back, she turned around to see a man, standing on the bed beside the one was attending. - “He’s gonna learn that this place is not for the weak sooner or later.” - The brown hair man said, his tone was serious and he looked at you like riders normally looked at anyone who wasn’t a rider. She shrug at his ignorant words and kept working on the boy laid in front of her until one of  her professor came to continue since the boy's burns degree was way more grave than students could secure.

Then she turned to face the bed beside where the rider, from the fourth wing as his (emblema) showed , was still waiting. 

“Do you need help too or are you just here to supervise our work?”  She said with sarcasm and accusation. Before he could answer, Jonah, her friend and classmate, who was attending to the boy on the bed chimed in.

“His friend has some second degree burns but I’m already taking care of it, but I can see a slight burn on his back.”  Jonah said while putting some leaves on the boy's arm and pointing with his chin to the annoying man on my side indicating that he also had been injured. 

“I’m okay, I don’t need help.” The rider said before I could say anything. She gave him an annoyed look while appointing a chair nearby.

“If you’re here we can’t let you leave without doing a check up first. Let me do my job and this will be over so you can go back to mounting dragons.” He let out an annoyed sound but followed her  to the chair. “Can you please take your shirt?” Her question left as soon as he sat on the chair wanting to get rid of him as quickly as she could.

“Wow there, people usually go on a date first, although healers are not really my type.” His tone was full of mischief but also tardiness, like the joke came automatically to him.  

“Oh my poor heart, how am I going to live after this?”  Her voice was so flat at this point that the man just slightly flinched and took his shirt off. She went behind him, and he really had a burn on his back, but it was a first degree, probably just needing disinfection and then some medication to calm the skin. She grabbed the cloth putting one hand on his back to stabilize him and he instantly gave a slight flinch.

“Gods, your hands are freezing.”  He said rapidly between teeth.

“Good thing for someone who has a burn on his skin.”  She put my hand on his back again while gentlying using the cloth to clean his injury. A shiver ran down his spine, not even the largest, biggest rider was immune to pain.

His strong back tensed with each contact, pulling his muscles together on his beautiful tanned skin. Gods, riders and their fucking beautiful bodies. It was rather annoying actually, but they definitely made up with their personality, especially this one. So annoying.

“Are you trying to kill me or something, woman?” He hissed again, pushing his back away from me. 

“Crybaby” she whispered to herself while grabbing him by his shoulder and continuing to work on his back, but she Guessed her whisper wasn't as silent as she expected because he whipped his head around to look at her. She stared back with a pointing look, and he just smirked and turned around. And a small smile threatened to appear on the girl’s lips.

After finishing up on his back, she started checking for any more injuries on his backside, finding a small one on his neck right on the line where his thick brown wavy hair started. She asked for him to look down and gently touch his stiff nape, and he immediately reacted.

“Sorry.” She apologized knowing from experience that most people were very sensitive around their necks. 

“It 's okay.” He assured me gently, unlike his interaction with her before. He settled his body back to her again and started cleaning the burn with the most delicacy that she could. She still could see the shivers that went on his body, and for a minute it felt like there were just she and him on the infirmary, she was so focus on his responsive body and trying to be gentle with him that her brain fogged the cries, the whimpers, the pain shouts. It was just her and the nameless beautiful rider. She shook my head finishing up and turned around to see if there were any injuries on his front. And she thanked the gods that her cheeks had not heated.

“I'm just gonna do a final check up before we are done.”  His face lifted to the sound of her voice and when his eyes met hers, she could see something sad then, but quickly his facial features turned on the playful side again. She rolled her eyes and quickly moved to do her job, checking pupils. Checking for concussion, and lastly checking his abdomen to see if it had any injuries, and she swore she would try her hardest to not linger too much on his strong body. 

“Do you need more time to check up on me up?” He asked so smudged that she could hear the smirk on his lips. She rolled my eyes again. 

“You are done. I would recommend not wearing anything too tight and sleeping without a shirt and on the front side to avoid inflammation, giving access for your skin to heal and breathe.” She recited the recommendations almost automatically since it wasn't the first or last time she would be saying that tonight. Before he could answer, Noah stepped beside me.

“Sorry to interrupt but Leith it’s looking green again and I think he's going to… “ He hesitated looking at the rider seated in front of them paying close attention to them. But she didnt need for Jonah to complete, she knew, Leith was a really great student, if not one of the bests in class, but when came down to the practical part of it, especially on this case when wasn’t not a premeditated test, he would let his emotions ruled him, and she personally believe that he had an aversion for certain lacerations.

“ I’m finished here, I’m going to check on him, how severe is the situation?” And his face changed the minute the question left her lips, he also didn't need the words, she could see on his face. She gave him a small nod, and he left. She counted to ten to steady her breath, this was going to be a long night. When she turned to the man still seated, his eyes were already searching hers, eyes that once again show that tiredness that she saw before, his eyebrows were lower and slightly closer. And in that instant the man who had looked at her with disdain, sarcasm and playfulness, now had what she accessed as a worried look, and sincere one. She fidget her hands on her coat, not used to the kind of expression, not towards me at least.

“Remember to follow my instructions and unless if you have a family member or someone real close to you, please go to your courts, this place it's already too packed up tonight.” His expression changed to neutral and he lifted from the chair, with that done she turned to go find Leith, when his voice reached me in a low tone.

“Thanks, I am Ridoc, by the way.”

She was surprised and studied his face, his brown light eyes and the soft strands of his hair sticking on his sweaty forehead. 

“Y/N. And I hope I don't see you here again.” she turned before he could answer and went to take care of the poor young life they were about to lose.

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[court-jobi]

When Asking Feels Right

((banner by me! I don't own Horikoshi's work/art))

Pairing: Midoriya x reader (fem!reader is an active pro-hero)

Words: 3.6K

Rating: T+

Warnings: canon-typical injuries, love confessions, mentions of intimacy, talk of marriage, BIG FEELINGS, light injury aftercare, language, because Katsuki Bakugou knows no other way

Summary:

You know Izuku loves you, and proudly tells anyone within earshot just how much he adores his darling pro-hero. But it's not until a close call that 'Kacchan' convinces you just how much the nerd means it. Making you pull yourself together for the sake of his best friend solidifies the fact that you are the love of Izuku Midoriya's life, and he's damn well sure gonna keep you alive to do something with that information. Bakugou might be barking at you gruff as always as he's trying to keep you conscious, but when he says it like he means it, you pay attention.

A/N: Ok yall's love for Let's Heal Each Other has really surprised me, thank you so much! Here's more of our favorite boy, feat Bakugou in full guard dog mode

For my My Hero Academia Masterlist, check it out here!

Read on AO3

“OI, WATCH YOUR TEN!”

Forced to the ground hard, you’re dazed– but not totally crushed. 

There’s a host of noise around you that grates on your senses: groans of steel supports, concrete and drywall crumbling in batches around you; it's now just a slow burn of collapsing chaos. But considering this portion of the building just fell apart not three feet from where you were once standing, you consider this a blessing. You’d deal with a sore hip than be dead. 

One thing you didn’t know was who did the saving of your ass, until you try to turn around and another support starts falling off in chunks–

“STAY DOWN, ALREADY–” a firm, hot hand cushions the back of your head from smacking the ground needlessly, but he’s not exactly gentle about it.

Dynamight?.. Bakugou– or ‘Kacchan’ as you hear him called at home– he’s– the one pulling a full body shield on you?

You cough from the debris and your ‘guardian angel’ makes sure to not press down on your back too much so you don’t feel smothered. With a gruff hand, he bats the air around your faces to will the dust away so you both can catch a breath. He hacks right along with you, he’s still human after all– but at least he does so from over your shoulder, a courtesy.

Soon enough, the shifting of earth and rock and damage settles, and Bakugou detaches himself from the kneel over you and lifts you up from under your arms to get you to a sitting position at the only remaining wall he deemed supportive enough.

You are equal parts amazed and confused watching the agency hothead acting like the most dashing hero you’ve ever seen, and you're lowkey shook that this attention is being put on you  when he presses you back and crouches back to your level with a guarded eye. 

"You ok?"

"Nngyeah?"

"You hurtin’?"

"Ouch. Nah, just my head a little-- OOF–”

Bakugou’s looking you over with a hard hand on your jaw, peeling aside your hair not too gracefully with tough, padded gloves, fussing over you with a concerned scowl.

 “-BAKugOU!"

The pieces click together a moment too late: you'd blurted at him right as you realize why he’s looking at you like this, so intently– you're bleeding from the head.

"A fucking head wound isn't a LITTLE PROBLEM, DUMBASS- /Oi, I need a med evac at the old Sorgan hospital! Look for the smoke on the southside, that’s where we fuckin’ are–/ FUCK, he's gonna KILL ME for this!!"

You bawk at the way he looks– nervous.

Your teammate's concerned as most coworkers at your agency would be, but for the chilliest of your pals, he’s looking uncharacteristically wild about it… like he seems inclined to punch you for it if you were only in better shape. Instead, Bakugou just picks you up and sets you on some slanted rubble to get you sitting higher. While your head bobs at a lag, you watch as he’s rummaging in his waistline's pockets for that dry cloth he's supposed to keep better accessible for first aid.

"YOU DAMN IDIOT,” Bakugou gripes not too angrily, “You’re NO BETTER than he is, jumpin’ into shit--HOLD THIS–"

You're starting to worry why he's so mad. It’s not like your quirk can directly correlate to the building falling via explosives; that’s his department. You followed your path to an opening of the building altogether as directed. In the mess of it all, you had to get creative with your exit strategy which did put you at a disadvantage, but it all had worked out even after facing off with the last batch of villains before the entire wing came tumbling down.

You honestly thought he was just being heroic and appreciated him literally keeping you from being crushed- only now as you want to thank him, you're sure it would fall on deaf ears. He must be angry that you were there in the first place for him to have to tend to now.

 "I-- that could have been really bad, I guess-"

"You 'GUESS'?" Bakugou's tone demands that you look him in the eye while he talks to you, right as he's staring you down incredulously, "Yeah, I saved your damn ass from getting CRUSHED, - and it's on MY HEAD if something happens to you while you're on my watch!!"

You feel sarcastic, "Well, thanks a lot, m’sorry for the inconvenience. Wassn’t my fault for the building though…”

He swishes a bit of remaining water on the cloth and jerks your head to the other way, ensuring the other scratches aren’t actively sporting fresh blood. “Tch, well running towards the sound was a pretty DUMBASS move!! Don’t know where you got that from!!”

“I can’think a few heroes who migh’...”

“Yeah, DEAD heroes!!”

Sheesh, nothing will please him when he gets like this. You tried for a last stretch of sympathy behind a pounding headache, “Well, m’sure Deku will appreciate you keepin’ me alive, so m’tryna say thanks."

"Yeah he damn well better, if he doesn’t wreck m- HEH??! SIT. THE HELL. DOWN!!"

At your try to stand up and join him in getting out of the alcove, you squatted back,

"What?!"

Bakugou pushes up his facemask more like a headband so you have no choice but to see him clearly. He smooshes your face in his palms- risky, given he's fully sweaty and the smell would be enough to turn you away-- but the way his hands are shaking forces you to stay still and pay attention.

"YOU are the love of his life, dumbass,” Bakugou threatens seriously. “You're the sparkle in his eye and you are damn good for him, so I'm sure as hell gonna make sure nothing happens to you if I can help it-- and you runnin' around with a concussion ain't making my job easier. So SIT. down."

You don’t blink or breathe.

"-I’m sat."

He fixes you a challenging look, then lets go of you to get a better view of the street to check on the ambulance.

He's protective. Because he's loyal to Izuku, he's loyal to you.

But you’re still stunned on what he said- like it was God’s honest truth and an immovable fact.

Pressing down on the tight space at the base of your sternum, you feel for something past your suit’s seam. "Did he say that?"

"Say what?" Bakugou shouts back tirelessly from the hole he’d opened for ventilation; you imagine he may not be hearing so well after this fight. Despite how cheesy it sounds coming out of you, you clarify with a hand to the gauze up against your head,

"-me being that? For him?"

Bakugou scoffs with a smirk, "Only reminds me every damn day I see him."

You can see it, after all. It happens with enough frequency that you know the two talk even before starting patrol with you. The routine of Midoriya meeting up with Bakugou like how you imagine they did in their school days: your adoring boyfriend sharing news of his curriculum workload in earnest, and retorting to his best friend’s loudmouth brand of bragging about his villain count for the week, followed by turning the tables back to Izuku and asking for the nerd’s professional opinion about his performance- and what he thinks he should be strengthening. 

It makes perfect sense that you should come up in conversations, but to know now that Izuku speaks of you in this way? Past the usual lovey-dovey pleasantries Bakugou usually gags at? It should have made you happy, but given the pulse in your throat and the general ache radiating from your -everywhere-, you sniffle– Your concern weighs you to your seat now that you probably have Izuku worried sick. If he’s glued to the news for televised coverage on missions that he knows you’re working on, he would have seen this whole ordeal in real time. 

And in the entire time you’ve dated Izuku, the whole relationship where you’ve stayed in sync with each other despite working in entirely different fields (namely you remaining in the clearly more dangerous one), Izuku never once discouraged you. 

-Never asked you to scale back or retire for the sake of his fears over you. 

-Never asked you to do anything other than ‘be as safe as you can, and do your best to come back to me’. 

He believes you were a hero- just as you believed he was, too. But God, if it didn’t kill you inside to think of breaking his heart over and over as he sat on his break room couch watching close calls. 

You know had he been here on duty instead of Dynamight, your sweet Deku would have been the one here trying to lift you up and perhaps put your worries at ease getting the chance to help you and see you through to safety. But Katsuki Bakugou is hardly that touchy-feely, so having to come up with a pep talk to yourself is hard.

"Oi-"

You toughen up to look back at him, but get a softer response than before.

"You're gonna be ok. I got your back, didn't I?"

You nod.

"I will, y'know. Have your back. Just don't make it difficult."

You nod again, about to cry.

Bakugou rolls his eyes, shaking it off and catching sight of the blue and red lights before he fully hears them. "You, with the waterworks too? Match made in heaven, I swear to GOD."

That night, you are hardly in any shape to drive yourself home and a bit too unsteady to even wrangle with public transit, so naturally you ask Izuku to come get you. With a faithful grin, he looks incredibly happy to see you in the agency lobby- if distracted momentarily by your expertly wrapped head and script bag in hand.

When you meet downstairs, you reign in your immediate reaction to seeing him like you normally would. It's busy tonight- teeming with interns, a changing out of a few vending machines, and a friendly spat between two other sidekicks is happening not far from the evelator you just stepped from. 

The building’s deceptively cheery security officer sees you coming, and shares to your boyfriend that he is going to put on a podcast, taking a moment to fiddle with putting his earbuds in and ‘conveniently’ switch over to his shades against the setting sun, which allowed you the sneaky propriety to fully hug Izuku, as quick and tight as you could before getting in the car. 

Talk in the car consisted of the usual after missions, which felt familiar and good. Obviously your darling didn’t hide his concern, but between your assurances were legitimate questions about how the villains were apprehended, what he’d watched, and the interest he gave in what the news didn’t cover- like asking more about your civilian recovery efforts and compliments about how many were saved today. This kind of cool down genuinely helped you leave work at work, and you appreciated that so much. It was a short drive, which you spent mostly holding Izuku’s hand in both of yours and receiving little kisses on that hand at stoplights. 

You walked arm in arm with him up to the second landing of your apartment, with him finally running through the more caring questions of ‘does it hurt to climb?’ ‘Throbbing or dull pain?’ ‘Are you hungry, or are the meds making you feel sick?’ 

You knew he’d be clingy and honestly needed that constancy after such an explosive afternoon. He was insistent on taking off your coat and getting your laces off with minimal effort from you, which you adored on any old regular day– but the waterworks came flooding back so hard while watching Izuku on his heels taking care of you that you stopped him altogether.

"-I remember the concussions Denki would have after going too hard with his quirk, too- ‘Chargebolt’, I think you’ve met. ‘Course, I think it affected his nervous system more than anything else-- w' h-honey? Are you crying?"

"Please just get up here~"

You hugged him tight the second he rose to full height,

"Oh sweetheart," Izuku petted your hair as you muted your cries, "Sweetheart it's ok, you're ok."

"I love y’so much..." you eeked out from a tight throat.

The eyes unseen over your shoulder stung at your words, but squeezed in just as tight there in the foyer.

"I love you too, honey. So, so much." Izuku kept you close and just rocked you in place to ground you, "Were you scared today?"

You nodded.

"I'm sure it was scary. Would have scared me too, being caught in the middle of all that," Izuku cooed over your shoulder. "Y'know it's okay to let it rattle you sometimes. That's why we're all here to support you. Help you bounce back."

//I have your back// Bakugou’s words hit you again in a wave. 

"It.. would have landed on me. I was right in the impact zone, when the southwest end came down," you sunk into Izuku’s neck at the memory, "...Bakugou got to me first. I wouldn'tve gotten out without him."

Izuku breathed out, touched beyond measure. “...he did?...”

"H'yelled at me for being stupid," you chuckled mirthlessly, "but he said some things. Really big things. And I'm just so sorry it happened at all! I don't wanna worry you when I’m out there!"

As you rushed through the emotions; not just of this fight, but filled to the brim and spilling over with other close calls like it. Izuku had a hard time understanding what was said that upset you, and just held you through it.

"C’mon, let's sit you down," Izuku picked you up like the koala you were and took you over to your couch, sitting with you perched in his arms. 

No longer surprised at the incredible strength he still carried -being able to pick you up like your dead weight was nothing- you sunk into his safety, solace found in his pressed shirt collar.

Your apologies turned into cries within a few minutes of settling in. 

The poor man's heart broke all over again, holding you tightly through your sobs, and hushing you through them. The crying was only going to make your headache worse. He knows this from experience, unfortunately… so even though he usually encouraged you to ‘feel your feelings to the fullest’, he did make an attempt to still you this time. Izuku pressed kisses to your warm forehead.

"Honey, easy, honey... what big things did Kacchan say?" 

//you're his spark//

//you're just like the damn nerd//

//match made in heaven//

//you're damn good for him//

"Tha-That I was... the love of- your life?"

Unseen, Izuku's sights widened. But had you been watching him and not hiding in his complete, cozying embrace, you would have seen the proudest look of love lifting those cheeks of his. How he smiled despite the concern he held for you in this moment, and took a grand look around the room - at the life you were tending to and nurturing together with fondness.

"You are the love of my life," Izuku assured you gently with the sweet coupling of your name, "Have I never told you that?"

Shown, certainly, but never told so beautifully. And to have come from Bakugou’s harsh lips of all people, the revelation was jarring in more ways than one.

You whispered 'no', but didn't let go for the life of you. Wouldn't ever let go of this darling man if he’d allow you to stay.

"-M'ere, look at me. Just for a minute, look here~"

You pressed back from his hold with unwilling muscles, only to be cradled in his hands. Green eyes full of tears looked back at you but with a full, strong smile forcing bravery forward.

"You -my sweetest girl- are the love of my life. I love who you are now, and who you're going to be forty, fifty, sixty years from now,” he pet your hair back and away with a little shaky nod, “and yeah- I might lose my lunch every now and then watching you out there…”

You sniffled again, baffled at how telling you all this could possibly be making him chuckle through his words–

“--but I can’t even begin to tell you how many times I’ve watched the same tv screen and been so insanely proud of you! To watch you go out there and win, and shine, and– I can stomach all that fear. I can do that. Because I know you and I believe in you! And I am so thankful that I happen to know the heroes you do this hard work with can help take care of you and have your back. That’s what it’s all about- doing it together.”

You hang on Izuku’s every word of affirmation. It’s the language he’s best in, no matter the subject. Thankfully, right now, he's set on putting you back on solid heartground- assuring you of everything you doubt about yourself. Your power, your inspiration, all of it.

“You’re saving people- helping those who can't do it themselves, and you do it so well, love. These scary things happen… but honestly? It only makes me love you more for facing it like you do. And getting up the next day, and watching you come at it again.”

You keen under his full attention. The praise and love he’s washing you with is so earnest and filled with pride, it kills you to ever have obligations elsewhere in the world outside of his company.

Surely you can just stay supple in his arms for eternity and no one would miss you. 

“So you don’t need to be out there worried about what I’m thinking of you,” Izuku worked on wiping your blurry tears, “because I���m going to double down on replacing those worries in your head. I’m going to remind you every day of it. You’re never going to not have me in your corner, because you are the love of my life.”

Soothed and emotional in an entirely different vein, you nod you head back with a firm, brave smile of you own, before gingerly pulling him close for a little forehead touch, a well-earned kiss, and another hug latched around his shoulders. 

Izuku tended to you after your hero work in a number of ways, depending on what you've weathered that day: from taking off your shoes, cooking you a meal, holding you soft and sweet against his body on the sofa like this, or even helping you burn off any excess steam on the particular amorous nights where you just feel too alive to not show him exactly what your primary reason for fighting is. 

To protect him. To protect everyone you love and care for. Making your family proud both here and heavenward, and proving to yourself that you can do the hard things. Having a partner to support you in this work is an invaluable bolster in your life, and you feel it in every swipe of his hands up and down your back in this exact moment. 

His touch assures you just as much as it comforts him. Tells you how much you're appreciated and welcomed when you reach the end of the day like it soothes him to have you safely off the streets. You also know that any tear-filled nights on his end come from a place of complete affection and commitment and you don't really care how much Bakugou or any of your other workmates might tease you for being soft right along with ‘the damn nerd’. 

He's your damn nerd. The one you come home to and plan to spend the rest of the evening tending to your headache and scratchy throat and whatever other hurts have trickled out from your tough shell. 

From about your fifth date on, you'd felt in your gut that ‘Midoriya’ was likely going to be the name you'd be filling out as your emergency contact for life, so you started doing so on your contract renewals. That probably proved he was the love of your life, too, even if you didn't say so outright. 

Content to hold you forever, Izuku still asked of you gently, 

“Poor thing, you gotta be exhausted. I know you showered, but would you like a bath to let the steam help?” He kissed your nearby shoulder within reach, “It'll help the drainage go away.”

That sounded amazing and all but guaranteed he'd like to stay as close to you as possible. You hummed in the affirmative, close to bursting. 

“Good. We’ll get that started, whenever you're ready. Anything my brave girl wants.”

There's truly only one thought on your mind- the insistent proof of it lies hidden beneath your sweater neckline, slid onto a long silver necklace:

A ring sized for Izuku is something you've worn every patrol for a couple months now, and is practically burning as you adjust your seat on his lap to find his face. 

You're fishing past your collar uncomfortably, looking for the damn thing tangled with your agency lanyard, but dead set that you can't go on without him wearing it.

“Hm? I'm here, hon’, what do you need?-- what's-… Baby. Oh baby, what's that...?”

You hold the ring still looped on the chain, lifted for him to see between fingers that don't shake anymore. Firm and steady. Because he's loved you so well and so thoroughly tonight and every night, it's the easiest thing to ask the stunned, gorgeous man beneath you,

“Marry me.”

[helenabuu32]

My first hc post officially has 100 notes 🥹

To celebrate……

Anotha one.

Bucci Squad when their crush or S/O gets badly hurt during a mission!

Bucciarati:

RIP to the one who has awoken mama bear

Without hesitation will use Sticky Fingers to safely tuck you away from danger until the threat is taken care of.

Depending on how severe the injury is, he’ll send another member in the zipper dimension with you to make sure you’re okay. If it’s life threatening, he’ll make Giorno heal you there.

Once you’re somewhere safe, it’s go time. There’s no holding back and the rest of the team is actually a little shocked (or scared) of his lack of composure when going after the one who hurt you.

He will accept help from the others if he needs it, he doesn’t care as long as the person gets fucked up. He will however insist on on delivering the finishing blow

Will probably deliver a really emotional speech about “those who dare harm the one he loves” (he’ll do this whether you’re dating or not bc ur prob unconcious anyway so it won’t really be a confession lmfao) as he proceeds to zipper their entire body apart and rip the pieces to shreds

Once the battle is over, he’s taking you home and not leaving your side until you’re better. If you’re dating he’ll make sure there’s always a fresh red rose by your bedside ❤️

Mista:

Did someone order a side of Swiss cheese?Because that’s what Mista is about to turn this person into.

He will throw himself in front of you and order one of the others to get you the hell out of there. He doesn’t care if he gets hit with an attack as long as you’re not getting hurt anymore.

The Sex Pistols are ANGRY. 5 is crying and wants to go to you, but knows Mista needs every bit of help he can get. They’re going absolutely nuts helping to riddle your attacker with bullets nonstop. Some of them are even trying to cling onto them and straight up bite chunks out of their body.

Mista will want to take care of this person himself but if he can’t handle it on his own, he’ll reluctantly let the others assist him. At the end of the day he doesn’t really care as long as he gets some (MANY) good shots in and this person is no more.

Once the fight is over, he’s sprinting to your side to assess the damage. Putting pressure on any wounds, he’ll take his shirt off to make a pillow for your head. Hell even rip it to shreds if you need bandages he doesn’t care.

If there’s a lot of damage, he’ll ask Giorno to help. He’s not letting you die on him.

Once you’re back home or somewhere safe, he’s doing everything he can to take care of you and help you. Any time you need food or water or a change of bandages, he’s the one who’s going to get it. Other than that, he never leaves your side until you’re better.

Abbachio:

This person is definitely gonna regret laying a finger on you.

He scoops you up and brings you somewhere safe while he’s yelling at the others to give them everything they’ve got.

If your life is in danger, he will put his hatred for Giorno aside and start begging him to come and heal you. He’s so desperate that the others are kind of shocked. They never realized you meant so much to him.

Depending on the enemy stand users abilities, he knows he and his own stand may be no match for them. If that’s the case, all he asks is that the others leave them alive so he can finish them off….

Once that has been done and he knows you’re going to be okay, he’ll demand that the others stay with you while he “takes care of things.”

He doesn’t even wanna use Moody Blues. In fact, he’s called his stand back in. If there’s anything laying around like a crowbar, a plank of wood, something that can do damage, he’ll grab it. If not, being the strongest of the group physically, he has no problem using his fists.

The others will watch from afar as Leone makes this person unrecognizable as human. This person is literally begging and pleading for mercy, but Abbacchio doesn’t intend on stopping. Even when they’re long dead, he just keeps going until they’re a bloody pulp.

He’ll walk back to you and the group, covered in the blood of the enemy and tell everyone to back off. He carries you the whole way back to whenever you’re staying. If you’re dating, he’ll just hold you and silently cry when you’re away from the others as he tells you how much he loves you and never wants to lose you.

Narancia:

Lol the others should run

No actually. He’s telling the rest of the Bucci gang to take you, make sure you’re okay, and run. FAR. Away.

He’s literally screaming at this person as he uses Aerosmith to just unleash everything it has. If there’s cars or anything around that he can use to set a fire, the whole area will be set ablaze within minutes.

Once he knows it’ll finish them off for good, Narancia will drop Aerosmith’s bomb and absolutely destroy everything in the vicinity. He doesn’t even care if he hurts himself at this point.

When the deed is finally done, he’s rushing to you and the others, tears running down his face yelling and making sure you are/are going to be okay.

Once you’re all back home, Narancia is constantly bringing you snacks and drinks and feeding them to you. He’ll set his boombox up in your room and let you ply all your favourite songs to help brighten the mood. He acts cheery to put a smile on your face, but this boy is honestly traumatized after watching you get hurt like that.

If you’re not dating, he feels like he literally needs to guard your room at night. He has this irrational fear that someone else will break in to try to finish you off. If you’re in a relationship, he sleeps with you every single night, waking up every half hour/an hour because he’s so worried something will happen.

Will pick you flowers he found (they’re actually weeds lol) outside because he knows how much you like them

Giorno

Uh yeah so he’s definitely about to prove he’s his fathers son here

He’s calm. Like SCARY calm. The others have never seen him act this way before and it’s freaking them out.

He’ll heal any wounds that need to be tended to immediately, then ask the others to take you somewhere you’ll be safer

He never once loses his composure. In fact, the others think they can see him….smiling???

His goal now is to use Gold Experience to make this person regret they were ever born. The enemy won’t even notice the strategically placed roots he’s been sprouting from the ground until it’s too late…

Once the enemy is where Giorno wants him, the others will watch this person slowly. SO slowly. Get impaled all over with thin tree branches. Giorno makes sure this person stays alive for a long time. Once he’s ready to finish the job, he will make the tree grow fully through their body, completely tearing them apart.

The others jaws are on the floor as they watch Giorno walk back over to them, the scene behind him looking like a gory horror movie. Most of them are a little scared of him right now but Abbacchio actually managed to grow a sliver of respect for him, strangely enough.

Upon seeing you, he goes back to his normal, kind self. When you get home, he will care for you until you’re better. If you’re dating, he’ll hold you tightly as he tells you how much he loves you and will never let anyone hurt you like that again.

Fugo

So he actually almost kills everyone out of complete, uncontrollable rage

He’s so angry he honestly doesn’t even check on you before going nuts on this person. The others, realizing they can’t stop him and would definitely die trying, get you to safety and take care of any injuries that may need immediate attention.

Fugo honestly almost gets himself killed with his own stand. But he doesn’t care, because at the end of the day, the person who hurt you is gone and boy did they suffer greatly

He finally calls Purple Haze back in, realizing how reckless he was being in his emotional state. He feels ashamed, but couldn’t help himself when he saw you laying there, crumpled up in pain on the ground.

When you get back, he’s actually avoiding you at first. When he finally comes to see you, he explodes. “What the Hell were you thinking??? Are you stupid, throwing yourself in the middle like that to blindly defend everyone? You could’ve gotten yourself KILLED. I almost LOST YOU.”

…if you weren’t dating already, that was pretty much his confession of his feelings for you. If you are in a relationship, he’ll finally let his guard down and just weep. You actually have to comfort him at first. He just keeps repeating how much he loves you and can’t ever lose you. He’s saying he’s sorry over and over again. Sorry for letting you get that hurt, sorry for almost hurting the others. He’s just sorry. And he swears to protect you and work on being more calm in those situations.

I’ll be adding one for Trish later as I was having a hard time thinking of a good amount of hcs for her and I’ve had this in my drafts so long that I just really wanna get it out there! I hope you guys liked this one, and again, always feel free to send in a request for some hcs from me! :)

Love: your friendly neighborhood Abbacchio simp 😌

[secretress]

❝𝐏𝐀𝐂: 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐩𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐮𝐞 𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐜 𝐚𝐬 𝐚 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐫. 𝐈 𝐦𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐟𝐭 𝐬𝐨 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐬 𝐚 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫.❞

If you were a song album, what songs would you have?

🐇₊ ⊹ . 🤍 ʚїɞ Masterlist Subliminal Channel

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PAC summary!

ִֶָ☾. Detailed.

࣪ ִֶָ☾. What song titles would you have?

࣪ ִֶָ☾. What genres would it be?

࣪ ִֶָ☾. Why the titles, genres, and what is the meaning of the album?

࣪ ִֶָ☾. Channeled songs.

Moodboard | Divider

Pile I

What song titles would you have?

Three of pentacles reversed.

‘’She was a sexy star.’’

‘’Paint, paint, calm the little one, once a star.’’

“Mad crazy, what a hottie.’’

‘’Butterflies were my favorite, are you one too?’’

“Cute, cute, I'm so cute, yes I am.’’

‘’What did you think would be fair?’’

‘’Alone working tonight.’’

“Gonna have fun being busy with tears in my eyes.’’

“Swift in the rain, nowhere to be seen.’’

“Lost and hurtin’, at least I have you now.’’

“Kiss my ass already.’’

What genres would it be?

The lovers reversed

Rock, pop, or a mixture of those two with folk.

Why the titles, genres, and what is the meaning of the album?

A lot of you like to mix and match your aesthetic and personality, not for the sake of others but because you believe it helps you heal from certain situations. The problem comes from your limited knowledge about how your mind works and what works best for you. As you go through a situation, you become lost around yourself and detach from parts of yourself. And as things keep occurring, you keep removing who you once were. There were times you sought to bring yourself back again, but the fear of remembering the past has eaten you. You are scared to see your past again. People think you move on fast, but that’s a lie; you have not moved on from the past, you ran away. Your past is your reminder for your faults, and you beat yourself up. You have become your own shamer and decided it would be best to have this personality of yours. Yet, you are struggling to show compassion for others despite going through with what they did. You went through the same thing and yet shamed them for it while ultimately doing the same thing with yourself. You kind of have this mindset of, I don’t remember it, but I will act like I did and move on with my life. I don’t think you see it or understand that it’s damaging your heart and mind. You have embraced your darkness.. But that’s all there is to your personality. A lot of you have family members who are concerned for your outbursts and rebellion. It’s completely new to them, and instead of explaining your reasonings.. Which you have no idea about, you push them aside and cause ruckus for everyone that adores you. You only have qualities of your darker sides; some of your lighter sides are trying to come back into your life, but you have kicked them away. You were insecure with them and believed your darker side was better, yet they were equally the same. People have too many misconceptions of the light side being weak and the dark side being stronger when it doesn't matter. When you have a balance between them, you become stronger. You are naturally confident, you can show love to others without becoming the victim of toxic people, and you mind your business. You become intelligent and cunning, but never use it for ill intentions. That was something you wanted, but believed the darker parts of yours were your friend. In a way they are, but you have used those parts in the wrong manner.

A lot of the song titles were focused on confidence and loving yourself, but some of them were also gloomy. Do you see the meaning behind those titles? “What did you think would be fair, alone working tonight, gonna have fun being busy with tears in my eyes, swift in the rain, nowhere to be seen, and lost and hurtin’, at least i have you now.’’ Sure, you ooze natural confidence, but at what cost? The cost of being alone, sobbing yourself at night, wishing you never did this to yourself, and losing yourself in the process because your past hurt you too much? Our past helps us not make the same mistakes again; making the same mistake isn’t a bad thing. It’s beautiful if you see it from another perspective. You need it to see it from a healthy perspective. Yes, the mistakes we make hurt us, but without actually understanding where the mistakes actually came from.. Or why it was caused in the first place, or even how you can learn from it.. You can never truly grow and become a butterfly.

And once you are able to heal from this and bring yourself back from it, you will genuinely tell those who have hurt you to ‘’kiss your ass already.’’ This is why your genre was rock, pop, or with a mix of folk. You will have a lot of spirit during your growth and healing journey, as folk music is relaxing with some beats going up at different moments. That's how you have felt with your journey. It feels chaotic sometimes, and sometimes you wonder if it's worth it in the end. Yet you know in your heart it's worth having the hope you have been painfully crushing and grabbing on since you were a kid. Don't feel the need to grab on that hope; let it go and allow it to come into your body naturally.

Three of cups.

You are also swimming around the surface of finally getting where you have always wanted to, but you must take that final step. Something felt missing with your reading as I finished hearing your channeled songs. You have people who want to see you blossom and have your true self back. But are you ready to become them? Are you ready to move past and stop idolizing your darkness and learn that having some light to you isn't a bad thing? That it’s rather beautiful. Are you even ready to embrace yourself once more and become a butterfly? Are you ready to create a beautiful masterpiece through your love for music, or would you rather keep composing the same music and making the same mistake without a potential to grow into a beautiful composer?

Channeled songs

It girl - Aliyah’s Interlude (before healing)

Harpy Hare - Yaelokre (after healing)

Masterlist ʚїɞ

Pile II

What song titles would you have?

‘’Fast and furious.”

‘’Come on the top.”

“We ride it all night till we party till death.”

“Kill the lady, she done no wrong.”

“Murder on my mind, can’t stop it no more.’’

‘’Soak it all up, we wildin’ all night long.’”

“I’LL KILL YOU ALL TONIGHT! Maybe a bit later, I’m a bit lazy, so tired.’’

What genres would it be?

Queen of swords.

Phonk, and some metal. I also hear elegant pop. Pop music that sounds way too fine and elegant. You ooze the feeling of showing too much natural confidence, and people think that you are playing around.

Why the titles, genres, and what is the meaning of the album?

The chariot reversed, ten of cups reversed, knight of cups reversed, six of swords reversed, and two of wands.

You have gone through a period of pain. People have made you doubt yourself, and you were surrounded with people who adored manipulating you. People thought you would be easy to manipulate because you appeared weak, when that was far from the truth. However, those that were closest to you knew that people were like that with you, and instead of showing genuine love for you, they let it happen to you. Even though you were able to deal with most of the social manipulation, you still had to deal with the betrayal. And those feelings have caused a lot of anger surrounding your heart. Sometimes you think about hurting the people that were closest to you, but then you remind yourself that you want to do better and be better. To be on top and work hard to achieve your desires. But sometimes those thoughts reappear and make you think otherwise. And then you beat yourself up on it when it’s not necessary. You are allowed to feel anger, and you are allowed to feel like you deserve justice. You can feel these thoughts. But you have to remind yourself how deserving you are to feel these emotions and talk about them with yourself so your mind can stop overriding itself from how you are harsh with yourself. Stop allowing yourself to nitpick everything about yourself; would you do it to your favorite character? A lot of you love anime and have a crush on a fictional character, and you fantasize they can never do wrong with you. Why don’t you make that into a reality with yourself? Do no wrong to yourself and show yourself some compassion. Show the love you needed as a kid to yourself.

With ten of cups reversed and knight of cups reversed, tarot tells me that you are causing yourself resentment with yourself. You keep insulting your future self. You keep making yourself feel anger because you are adamant that if your future self does something different, they are useless, a c*nt, or they won’t gain your love. The thing you must understand is that just because your present self wants this in the present moment does not MEAN your future self is interested in that. People always grow out of their shells, and your future self will do the same. They will want things differently because they learn things differently. They know more about what they want in their present moment because they were able to grow. Don’t you seek that growth, or are you too scared of change and desire to stay where you are? Daydreaming about these fictional characters because you are too scared to face reality. The idea of escaping feels better to you, yet it drains you. That’s why your genre would be PHONK or metal. Aside from the actual genre, understand it from a literal direction. Phonk is different rhythms and beats combined to make something sound good, but there is no voice. You lack voice with yourself as your mind has already become chaotic because you won’t do the things you actually want and instead procrastinate it and wonder why things are not changing. And metal would be screaming. You are screaming to yourself, hence the murder parts in the title for the things you want, but it goes in vain because you want things to be summarized. You want things to be done in a flash so you do not actually have to do the work. Your attention span to your life has worsened so much, not because you use your phone so much or your gaming devices. But because you don’t even listen to yourself. Your friends hurt you; you knew people treated you badly—how about yourself? You think it’s okay to be an ass to yourself just like those that hurt you? Be kinder to yourself and become your own best friend. If you don’t, you will only get hurt at the end, just as knight of cups reversed says.

Six of swords reversed says the same thing here. You know you must make a change in your life, but you won’t because you fear finding purpose in your life. You must understand you make your own purpose, your own destiny, and you can make your own choices. You cannot control external factors, only internal ones. So learn to take care of your thoughts and become the best person for yourself. Learn to become brave to face your fears and use your comfort character to help you do the things you want. Take baby steps in becoming productive, and don't push yourself on day one. Think about an anime. At the start, it’s usually calm, sometimes boring, but it never truly gets into the climax. This is where you will learn to figure out what routine you want and what works best for you. Understand what you want to do with your life and how to make sure you relax and take care of your needs. Removing people that do not serve you no longer, removing attachments, showing kindness to yourself, etc. Then comes a situation occurring during the anime that will finally lead to the climax. But this is where you must take the leap, take a risk, and go for what you want. It could be finding a lover that suits what you want just as your comfort character or fictional crush. It could be finding better friends, learning to fall in love with yourself, learning how to cook or go to your dream school, maybe a dream school or college, etc. And then finally the anime goes to its climax, and it becomes very interesting. Yes,  there are ups and downs, but it’s interesting, is it not? This is where your ups and downs will occur, but since you are already well equipped with what you did previously, you are able to handle it because you have learned to be courageous, just as the two of wands show. Maybe a situation occurs and you do not like it and want to relapse into the same situation, but don't. The ending is finally coming, and it’s usually peaceful; if not, there is always a cycle that must end before peace comes.

Channeled songs

Hold up - Beyoncé

XO - Beyoncé

Masterlist ʚїɞ

Pile III

What song titles would you have?

‘’I don’t want to do this.’’

“It’s too much work—wanna procrastinate.’’

“Something is dark within’, whatcha got for it?’’

“Shadows.’’

“Ocean consumed us. It consumed you, didn't it?’’

What genres would it be?

Dark metal and Gloomy Pop with a hint of rap.

Why the titles, genres, and what is the meaning of the album?

Ace of pentacles, three of cups, six of wands (reversed), king of cups, and temperance (reversed).

You recently went through a breakup with someone abusive.. to a certain degree. Others have blamed you as the bad person even though you know it wasn’t the truth. You saw through their lies, and you saw how others had pinned you to be bad. To others, how can your ex be someone good if they were this innocent or shy angel? “It’s simply impossible.” The idea of doing revenge on them crossed your mind, but you have pushed it aside each time. Now, you are struggling if you should do it or not and are looking for answers everywhere and decided to ask a higher being you believe in or trusted tarot readers. However, they keep giving you answers you don’t want, so you cuss them out, moving on to the next. Listen to them.

I am not saying revenge is not the answer; I am not saying anything. I would rather speak to you in an unbiased manner. What is revenge for you? Revenge can be a revenge glow-up, finally having your dream life, or it could be hurting the people who hurt you or killing them. Everyone has a different meaning for revenge, but what does it really mean to you? Ace of pentacles talks about a new beginning, why don’t you use this opportunity and make a name for yourself? Stop procrastinating the things that have scared you and go do it instead. Sure, it will take some time disciplining yourself to get into that mindset, but in the future, you will thank yourself. The titles I channeled for you all aimed to someone else or something else. What are you hiding from yourself? What are you so scared to admit to yourself that you have to hide in the shadows?

There was a moment of happiness for you when the relationship occurred. You gave them the world, always healed for them, always did better for them, and wanted to have a common goal with them. But instead of a common ground with them, what did they do to you? Used you to ruin your reputation and then run away when you mentioned that goal. And now the people you loved turned against you, and you have nothing now.

Nothing to lose.

You have nothing to lose, so why don’t you give it your all and gain something this time? You are at a point where you can do whatever you want because there are no consequences. None at all. What did you want so badly during your relationship that you postponed it for their sake?

With six of wands (reversed), the card focuses on how you should not expect success each time. You have tried to reach for what you want, but each time you did, you didn’t set realistic goals. You expected a better outcome each time but never learned your lessons. Sometimes people become too excited because they have opportunities to grow and get to a better environment, but they forget how hard it is to get there. To get where you desire, you might have to hike for hours upon hours to see a beautiful sunset or view. Some people would call it dangerous and stupid, some would say it’s a waste of time and others would find it to be a great idea. Focusing on someone’s ideals isn’t what you should thrive for. Thrive for what you want instead. Learn to stop caring about what others’ say about you.

I am aware that everyone says it all the time, but they never give the person a direction to start, so when those thoughts arise, simply tell yourself that you do not care. That you do not care what others say to you. Keep saying this as doubts appear, and you will start to believe it. And as you do this, allow yourself to do the things you want to do again, but without any expectations. Set realistic goals. Let’s say you want to get an A on your chemistry exam. What goals do you have in mind already? Why not just strive for a B? Maybe a B is average or not good enough, but your knowledge is not based on a letter; it’s based on what you know later on. So maybe you didn’t do so well and got a C because of nerves and failed your goal. So what? Get back up and do it again until you get your B and then strive for a B+. Eventually, as you do it, you will understand you are capable of doing better and improving; you will learn how to be kinder to yourself and also learn better for the future.

As for why you have those genres or titles, it’s rather self-explanatory. To explain it shortly, you didn’t want to do something again because of your fear of failure and the expectations you had. (’’I don’t want to do this. It’s too much work—wanna procrastinate’’). Your abusive ex made your life a living hell, and you tried to help them become better as you were healing yourself to do better for them. You gaslighted yourself, thinking it was your fault when it was theirs. (“Something is dark within’, whatcha got for it?’’). The ocean ‘’consumed’’ the both of you, when in reality it was just them and their dark soul. It made you think worse of yourself, and you became more sensitive to the world. Letting people walk over you and make yourself start prioritizing others, thinking that is what was necessary when you were genuinely perfect the way you were when you had already healed. (“Ocean consumed us. It consumed you, didn't it?’’). Dark metal and gloomy pop is how you have been feeling lately, and your mind has been running in circles trying to understand everything, which is why rap was added. Taking those genres in a literal fashion instead of what it truly is about.

Since the meanings are self-explanatory, I do want to add something from my side. None of it is channeled, and think of it as a small message from me to you.

Sometimes we know what is best for us, and we try to strive for it. Sometimes we think it’s the final answer, but it usually isn’t. You can keep looking for answers, but it will consume you and make you drown for more. Sometimes peace is better than knowing the answer. Having peace of mind is better than knowing the answer. We don’t know why people who are like your ex do the things to us, but what I have learned is that they are hurting, but they are taking it on the wrong people. Sometimes you want to help them improve and change, and they become triggered, so they lash on you. Know that it’s not your fault for what they did to you. Just because they were hurting doesn't mean you deserve what they did to you, and you never will, not even for your past and the guilt and shame that is still lingering on. People can be assholes and never go through trauma, or they can be ones and go through one, but sometimes they go through something and it changes them for the better or for the worse. Don’t focus on the other person in this aspect; think about what you would do with that experience, and if it does occur to you, have faith in yourself to handle it just like you would have thought. You had a rational mindset during it, and it was unbiased, and maybe it wasn’t the same understanding, but it was still unbiased of how you would handle it. Even when situations like those don't arise, instead of listening to your heart in those painful moments. Take some time to think and then address it. Even if they ridicule and make fun of you because you are not talking or answering back, know that you are being rational and won't have any regrets in the end. Those tips have been helpful for me, so I would hope they would do the same for you.

Take care of yourself, and don’t blame yourself for that scumbag’s wrongdoings.

Channeled songs

Friends - BloodPop and Justin Bieber

In the Shadows - The Rasmus

Masterlist ʚїɞ

[polakina]

how they react to you getting hurt on a mission

call of duty headcanons #3

hc masterlist // masterlist

anyone else feel like there's not enough alex keller fics about? if you've got recommendations, send them my way pls <3

rating: explicit

-

heard it over comms while the 141 were raiding an enemy safehouse

you had confirmed intel that they were hiding out after an attack on the local town, so moved in to take them out

you were making your way through the upper sections of the building, whispering into comms as you cleared each room

but as you moved further down the corridor, one of the terrorists barged out of the last door on the left, firing all bullets in your direction

you managed to dodge out of the way for most of them, sending bullets through his skin and taking him down, but not before a bullet lodged itself in your shoulder

price was practically shouting in your ear as he heard the gunshots from above and through his earpiece

he made it to you first, checking over you with worried glances, pulling the collar of your shirt aside to assess the damage

cursed out of sheer panic, grabbing you by the waist and hoisting you up, calling in for evac and medics

did not leave your side the whole flight back to base, constantly asking if you were okay

reaching the medic tent at base, he kept a stern eye on the medics, barking orders to be careful with you

but he was scared

scared he could have lost you

his fear always turned to anger, it was an emotional side of him you'd noticed since working together

he stayed with you the whole time

angry

so fucking angry

not at you, of course

but at literally everyone else

saw you get knocked up against the wall, pinned by your throat with a knife pointing into your stomach, hearing your cry of pain

he saw red

momentarily blacked out as he shot the guy hurting you at least 6 times

a little overkill but deemed it necessary

was immediately by your side. knocked your hand out of the way when you tried to cover it, and shushed you fiercely when you tried to tell him you were okay

did not leave any room for negotiation before picking you up bridal style and hauling ass out of there

didn't trust any medic to patch you up

did everything himself

turned super super quiet as he saw the wound fully, the blood pooling out of the gash. his face turned almost white

wouldn't speak as he cleaned and stitched the wound

it was only when he finally met your eye that his gaze softened. the apologies started uncontrollably spilling out

he apologised for literally an hour; about how he could have stopped the guy, how he could have gotten there sooner

you had to calm him down the whole night

never let you lift a finger until you were fully healed, and even after that he was hesitant to let you do anything strenuous

you caught him looking at your bandages every so often, even during training

one you even caught him in the act while he thought you were sleeping. he lifted your shirt to check you hadn't pulled any stitches, and you scared the shit out of him when you asked what he was doing

the two of you were climbing to reach a higher vantage point as appointed snipers

your rope snapped and you fell to the rocks below

he damn near snapped his neck trying to repel back down to you

saw your dislocated shoulder and couldn't hide his disgust until you pointed it out

nobody was able to reach you, the two of you were alone

said it'd click back into place on its own, and you weren't sure if he was trying to reassure you or convince himself

but when you explained he needed to knock it back into its socket, he shook his head

flat out just said no

the man can deal with blood and bullets and knives. broken bones or dislocations were not his strong suit

his stomach did that weird flip thing when he saw body parts out of place

you scolded him for being a baby and he pouted at you

had to psych himself up to do it

"its just a stupid shoulder, get it together" "don't be a baby, it'll take two seconds" "god that's so disgusting, why does it look that gross"

your eyes nearly rolled out of your head and the initial pain had basically subsided by the time he actually did it

nearly threw up when he felt your shoulder pop back into its socket

was riding alongside you in the truck when it flipped over from an enemy missile

the whole vehicle launched topside and rolled upside down

his first port of call was to turn and check on you, rushing to panic when he saw the blood on your face

after pulling himself out of the vehicle, he ran around and yanked over the driver side door, unclipping your belt and pulling you onto the pavement

saw your broken leg and almost passed out

literally forgot all his medic training in that one moment and only ended up calling for an evac when you told him to

was at your every beck and call while you recovered

you had to be wheelchair bound during your recovery, and as the base trainer, you were able to do your job from your chair

made jokes about you now having to be on wheels

did anything to lift your spirits

helped you with absolutely anything you needed, and secretly kind of liked that he had to take care of you

fell into the male housewife role really quick. scarily quickly

wheels you around base, and more often than not rolls over somebody's toes when he passes them. doesn't have the best spatial awareness capacity

always there to change your bandages, check your wounds

whenever your leg hurts, he's like a professional masseuse