#dad omens is so funny to me

[thecoyotescry]

Okay okay! Nobody asked, but I’ll tell you my thoughts anyway.

Dad Bad Omens (or Dad Omens, if you will 😋). Here’s how it goes in my brain (don’t take this to heart if you don’t want to lol idk)

Noah has 2 kids. First, a baby boy who is his twin and wants to be just like him. Then a baby girl who still looks like him, but has all the mannerisms and personality of mama.

Jolly is a girl dad through and THROUGH. 3 or 4 little girls, all with long, luscious locks like him. Constantly begging him to join their tea parties and letting them paint his nails, no questions asked.

Nicholas has 3 kids. Girl, boy, girl. All cutie artistic babies who love animals like their dad. His girls are soft spoken like him and his middle child is your stereotypical insane 2nd child who’s not afraid of anything (and that scares Nicky lol).

Folio is boy dad coded. 2 twin boys who he loves to take fishing with him, play sports with, and shares his love of music with them. They probably grow up to be in a band together or motor bike enthusiasts or something.

[vic-does-battlecats]

Minor spoilers for the already revealed chapters of the next A Starless Clan book Wind

[queer-reader-07]

the worst thing about me being a Gen Z with a Gen X father is that i routinely use Gen Z slang & internet lingo around him to the point that he's able to accurately parse what it all means. AND THEN HE GOES AND USES IT AT WORK TO IMPRESS HIS TWENTY SOMETHING COWORKERS

[futuristictheoristcowboy]

i think its funny that in good omens some 11 year old swearing technically did more in stopping Armageddon successfully than the demon and angel main characters who spent the entire series trying to stop the end of the world. like girl, they didn't even get trialed for saving the earth, they got put on trial for being gay with each other really

[ambreiiigns]

just spent a good 20 minutes crying my eyes out over so far away by avenged sevenfold i have regressed to when i was 13 and extremely attached to this band

[cuntkinghorr]

Jezus christos. Why can't I be rich? Where's my Conchita? I need lunch. Make me pasta from scratch bitch. Or I'll send your ass back across the Rio Grande and through the desert without water. Don't make me source more rats for those sewer pipes that cross the border cunt.

[demonic0angel]

I've been playing Dredge lately and had a thought:

Danny, a small seaside town's best fisherman, and his babies, Eldritch Dani and Dan, who prefer to live underwater and come up to see their dad, who goes out fishing every day.

His nets are always full, and his boat never encounters any problems. He always steers true, never goes off course, and keeps finding old sunken treasure in his haul.

Everyone in town knows Mr. Nightingale, and his boat sailing by becomes a sort of good omen for the folk of nearby towns. He always leaves on his own, comes back with his hold full, and two small children, which weren't in the boat in the morning, go running into town with their father at their heels. Then they all go to the beach at sunset, the children dive under the last big waves, just before the sun goes down, and twin masses of glowing lights swim into the distance, waiting for their father to go meet them again the next day.

It's good like that. The town prospers, the fish are good and plentiful for just having one or two fishermen go out every day, and the little family gets to live in a community that won't question their origins.

It's when one hero (whichever, Bat, Lantern, Martian or Super, whatever you prefer) in particular gets shot out of the air and washes into Mr. Nightingale's nets that questions start being asked, most importantly, where is the children's mother, and did Mr. Nightingale get intimate with the personification of the sea, like in Ponyo?

Extra: I know the favorite of the fandom is to ship Danny and a Bat, or a Super or Flash, or even Sam and/or Tucker.

But what if, in his late teens, Danny went off to learn from other Ghosts, met the ghostly embodiment of the ocean? They spent a few years being intimate, enough that they hosted Dani and Dan's unstable cores until proper maturity was reached, got two darling little ones out of the deal, and whenever Danny sails into the horizon, he goes to meet his partner in their own element, spends his time with them and comes back with gifts from his spouse, nets full of fresh fish, and gets the children for the rest of the day, so they can grow up in both worlds. They meet up at night at the beach so the little ones can play on the sand while their parents spend a few hours cuddling and watching the sunset.

Ooh, this sounds so interesting! Something about Danny being in love with an oceanic being sounds so ethereal? Like space and the deep sea, y’know? Two mysterious, deep places with hidden depths that humans cannot fully reach.

Not only does this remind me of Ponyo, but it also reminds me of the Pirates of the Caribbean (in a way), where two lovers are separated by sea and land. On that note, we could make Danny marry Davy Jones.

I have nothing to add, but I do think it would be funny if Danny was a hermit with a mysterious past and heroes start coming to his little sea port to ask for old, sage hero advice.

[neil-gaiman]

Hello Neil, my name is Zalean. If you have a few minutes, I wanted to tell you a little story. Not really a question and I’m not sure how to use tumblr but I wanted to say thanks so much for coming to Florida a few months back and talking with Art Spiegelman. It was my first time ever figuring out how to buy tickets for something. I lived in, middle of nowhere, Vermont for most my life and had no idea what I was doing, I had never been to anything before, nothing had made me excited enough to do the 5 hour drive. And then you just appeared 20 minutes away from where I am living now.

See, I was just starting to get to know your books and work because I fell in love with Good Omens so deeply when I discovered it during season twos release. Funny thing is, I knew of you all along without even realizing it, Stardust has been my favorite book and movie since I was a kid because it was my dad’s favorite story. Finding out my two favorite things were actually connected, I started trying to get hands on as many of your books as I could. I hadn’t read in years before finding your books. It was eye opening.

The talk event at the Dr.Phillips Center was sold out by the time I knew about it, someone had asked me if I knew of the event when they saw my Good Omens keychains my mom had made me. I called the box office because there is no harm in asking. I explained how I’m an art student at UCF and desperately wanted to be inspired and learn from you both. The customer service people were amazing and ended up calling me back to get me a seat in the orchestra pit before they were released to the public. I drove alone, I walked there alone, I sat alone, and it was worth it. I was so thankful to get a seat and grateful to my professor who was a bit jealous he didn’t know about it but let me leave class early to go because of course the art professor would be understanding for any learning opportunities in the arts. And it was truly wonderful, it seemed real and that’s what I wanted. I didn’t want a show. I just wanted to hear, in some sense, that you were like everybody else. I brought a notebook and pen for any information or story’s that I thought made a difference to my little life. The other people around were wonderful, you inspire kind people.

Like I said, I had never been to anything like this and I didn’t know what to expect. I didn’t know you would have signed books and I only found out because the people next to me came in late. I asked them why they brought the books after it was over and the lights turned on. They did look at me like I had three heads for a moment until they realized I didn’t know there were books to buy, they looked kinda sorry for me but they were so nice. I had never really thought about the importance of someone’s scribble before this but it’s something that proves you were there. It says “Remember when this person made you happy? Remember when they changed your life? Remember when they gave you hope? Look at this and remember.” I hope to see David Tennant and Michael Sheen to get an autograph now that I understand the meaning behind it a bit more but honestly I just love diving into everyone’s projects, the wonder you all create. Oh what fun it is to live a life full of stories!

The people that were sitting next to me let me look at their signed books and hold them. I flipped through some of the big ones, handed them back and expressed my gratitude just to be in the theater. I showed them all my little quotes I wrote down, I never want to forget why I create things and you say so much about never stopping, always creating. Then the women handed me a different book, a smaller book, but when I tried to hand it back, a bit confused, she softly placed it back in my open hands and said “I want you to have it, we have plenty and I want you to love these stories just as much as we do. It’s just starting for you, I want you to remember who started it”. The book she handed me being“The Ocean at the End of the Lane”. The first book I decided to read by you and had just finished a week before. The women had no idea she given me a signed copy of the book that made me want to read again. Your books make the world better. For such a big theater and such a big stage, I just wanted to tell you my little point of view.

The story you told about wishing you enjoyed the past more than you did, I hope you get to enjoy it now, and I hope you want to. And thank you, to you and to Terry Pratchett for creating something special. I convinced my dad to watch Good Omens with me over December break, he loved it.

I forget sometimes that everything is someone's first time, and then I read something like this and feel like I need to remember that better. I'm glad the people beside you were kind.

[swordsonnet]

[ID: three tweets by @1989_Jayde. they read as follows:

1. Not David telling us in the meet and greet that he has read the final scene as well as the first 3 Good Omens S3 scripts... And that he's very happy with the ending 😭😭 "It's working towards something"

2. Also on Good Omens in the m&g - David was asked about Crowley's costume and if there was anything he would change, he said nothing he loves it, but the asker said a skirt would be good... David's response was wait to see Season 3 👀

3. I also asked David how he found Nye while we were walking out of the meet and greet, he said it was wonderful and that he was so impressed 🥰

end ID]

Good Omens 3 update 👀

(David Tennant was at a con in Germany today)

and about Michael's new play :) <3

[the-great-pirate-war]

Aziraphale and The Bentley

One of the many things I love about Season 2 of Good Omens, is we get to see The Bentley interacting with Aziraphale.

We all know that The Bentley is an extension of Crowley.

It is hilarious to see how it mirrors him. The Bentley is an actual puppy. Crowley loves Aziraphale, which The Bentley is aware of. It is why he listens to him and does things to make him happy.

The travel sweets - Aziraphale loves food.

The type of music - It is aware of his love of classical music.

The color of the car changing - Aziraphale’s favorite color.

We can see it drives itself. Yet it refused to go faster. I WONDER WHY. It knows Aziraphale hates when Crowley drives extremely fast.

Some MORE WAYS it behaves like Crowley:

This car is following him, because it loves Aziraphale. Just like Crowley follows Aziraphale around. What makes it even better? The Bentley is following Aziraphale as he is walking back towards the bookshop. Crowley’s favorite place to be. The same demon who SAYS THIS:

Funny enough, The Bentley is Crowley’s colors. It is just a “second Crowley”. When Crowley isn't there, The Bentley protects Aziraphale just like Crowley does. It has his protective nature. What makes it go back? Aziraphale telling it to.

Maybe because Crowley can't say “no” to Aziraphale….

Can we also talk about the little pats he constantly does on The Bentley to show affection? UHM. If that doesn’t symbolize that Crowley LIKES to be praised I don’t know what does honestly.

THE BENTLEY LITERALLY ACTS AS A GUARDIAN. Azi wasn’t technically lying about the changes to the Bentley either. The Bentley accommodated to Aziraphale’s preferences, instead of Crowley’s. Essentially it wanted him to be happy by taking care of him. It even went so far as to disobey Crowley.

It only changes back when his Demon Dad finds out about the changes, and presses the pedal down more when Crowley threatens to start selling Azi’s books as it doesn’t want to cause Aziraphale trouble.

Also, proof that The Bentley sees Azi as his “other owner” and his “Angel Dad”

WHY IS THE BENTLEY SO CUTE😫🖤

(If any of you choose to use this as a headcanon for a fanfic/fanart, please credit me and let me know so that I can see it!🫶🏼✨)

[dollarstoreartsupplies]

OKAY here is the completely nonserious percy jackson npmd au thats been taking up space in my brain for weeks now because it simply needs somewhere to go:

New campers-

Stephanie Lauter:

I'm not overcomplicating this one: Steph is a daughter of Aphrodite

Solomon Lauter saw the hottest woman at some party where he was campaigning, and he’s is nothing if not ‘passionate’ and successful (by design) so it worked out

As far as Steph knows until her teens her mom ran off on her dad when she was a baby, and that’s fine, she doesn't give a shit, she’s never looked into it

Until, when she’s sixteen (because somehow she’s made it this long) Grace Chasity starts a rumor, her dad sends her to Abstinence Camp and the monster in the woods chases her right into camp halfblood

She gets claimed pretty promptly and Is Not A Fan

She’s thinks it’s pretty sexist and conceited and stupid and problematic for a whileeeee and refuses to look into it any more than ‘pink and pretty and misogynistic’ which like, doesn’t go well for her but she’s nothing if not stubborn

She’s fluent in French because of her mom but she doesn’t know that until she gets to camp and is genuinely so pissed off that the one school subject she thought she was good at isn’t even on her own merit

She’s got some vague appearance manipulation stuff, and once she realizes she does she exclusively uses it to change her hair color and make her eyeliner look good

She’s probably like camp way more if she knew about it earlier but the combo of her had having kept it from her and who her mom is and all the stupid games/worship expectations piss her off and she bails on most of the events/training/campfires out of spite

She definitely uses some close up weapon like a dagger or short sword

Grace Chastity:

Grace is a daughter of Ares 

(Her finding this out goes very poorly)

Im ngl i feel like somehow Ares ended up with Mark Chastity, I refuse to examine this thought but i think Mark Chastity had his first gay experience and woke up the next morning with a baby there somehow because Ares thought it would be hilarious and wanted to see what would happen

She gets chased to camp with Steph from Abstinence Camp and is fucking livid, the whole thing is insanely scareligious and ridiculous and everyone there is going to hell and she is so heated that Ares, once again thinking it’s really funny and slightly proud, claims her on the spot

Grace Chastity is out here with her sacreligious two gay dads

She really resents specifically who her dad is because in her head she is made for peace and love and spreading the word of god, she hates the idea of war or violence on principal, so she spends a lot of time at the strawberry fields or Pegusus stables because she does really like the flying horses :)

She refuses to take place in any camp activities or training and all her siblings hate her

At a certain point she’s able to harness a level of odikinesis (enhancing feelings of hatred and war) and it doesn’t go well

Chiron honestly is forcing her to stick around because he’s REALLY so very nervous about how the fuck it would go to have Grace loose on the mortal world right after she finds everything else

Her weapon is an axe

Obviously

AND THEN we’ve got the established campers-

Peter Spankoffski:

Okay so forgive me for my special little blorbo-fication of my guy but:

Pete’s a son of Nyx

He super fucking shouldn’t be, there aren’t demi-god children of Nyx, just monsters and minor gods, but him and Ted were kind of just… thought experiments? Like she was bored and very curious so she took a really shitty human and had a child with him (Ted) and then, in what Nyx’s head was barely any time at all but in human years was straight up 18 years, has another one (Pete)

Ted raises Pete for a couple years, but children of Nyx in general are just bad omens, and human children of Nyx who probably shouldn’t exist are no exception, so they get hunted down by monsters hard

Ted dies or disappears by the time Pete’s ten or eleven and he ends up at a camp

He’s a year round camper and lives in the hermes cabin because obviously Nyx doesn’t have a cabin (look okay i know that percy fixed that, but that bit of lore where any unclaimed or minor god children live at the hermes cabin is so fucked up and rife with angst and hurt/comfort potential is too much for me to resist so this is a universe where percy jackson does not exist)

His luck is horrible, like it’s a magical demigod ability how horrible his luck is and he’s well on his way to systematically having broken every single one of his bones one by one, they know him so well in the apollo cabin

NO ONE (and I mean NO ONE) likes him and he’s considered a camp wide jinx so he takes one for the team and personally exempts himself from any team events like capture the flag because no one is willing to have him on their side

A lot of newer campers generally assume he’s an Athena kid because he really enjoys learning/strategy/by-the-book stuff because it’s a lot easier than trying to get involved with the more dangerous athletic shit 

Because his mom is the goddess of night he’s very into outer space

His weapon is a bow and arrow, but he’s pretty good with most range weapons/anything that he can calculate aim for 

Ruth Fleming:

Ruth is a daughter of Demeter and she’s pissed about it

Her dad told her about being a demigod a couple years before she went to camp but he didn’t know who her mom was so she got very very into greek mythos and shit and was convinced she was a daughter of Athena or Aphrodite or someone else nine-year-old-girl-cool and was fucking devestated when it was the goddess of farming

Like, she’ll do all the things she’s expected to (helping in the strawberry fields, weeding, etc..) but she’s going to complain about it

She doesn’t even have any cool powers to go with it!!! it’s so unfair >:( 

She’s also involved with the camp’s theater department and is convinced it’s rigged against her because of who her mom is in favor of Apollo and Dionysus kids (in fairness…. it probably is) which is why she’s always stuck on tech 

She’s definitely got a crush of Richie’s dad

She’s a summer only camper for sure, monsters don’t hunt her down for any reason in particular or en mass so she can get away with it and fight off the ones that do, but she does kind of take offense to the fact that even monsters don't want her (even if they’d just kill her) 

Her childhood greek mythology obsession carries over so she knows every dumb little detail about every myth and will bring it up unprompted

Her main weapon is just a celestial bronze sword but i feel like when she first got to camp at 12 she bribed a child of Iris to change the color of it so it looks like… rose gold lmao

Richie Lipschitz:

Richie is a son of Dionysus

And sure, okay, I know what you're thinking: that doesn’t really fit…?

But to that I say oh boy it does, just not for Richie

For his twin brother Trevor however– 

Richie is kind of like the black sheep of his cabin, not that there is many of them, because his brother is perfectly cookie cutter what a Dionysis kid should be (he’s a theater kid, he throws good parties, he’s generally popular) and Richie is not

They both started camp at probably 10-ish, a little earlier than traditional because there were two of them which drew more monsters

His eyes are violet though which he thinks is very cool so he dyes his hair purple to match them

He sorta-kinda has chlorokinesis, specifically for grape and strawberry vines, which a. he also thinks is very cool, and b. he uses as an excuse to get out of training so he can hang out with Ruth

He's also really good at swimming and trying to work up the courage to ask his dad if he'd possibly be able to grant him the ability to turn into a dolphin but just like... only when he wanted tot and he could turn back

He really wishes his was an Apollo kid (though, obviously he’d never say that out loud) because of the artistic stuff, so he sort of just tries to gaslight everyone that because his dad is the god of the Arts that includes physical art like drawing so obviously that’s why he’s good at it

He’s a summer-only camper too but for the dumbest reason; their parents gave the twins a choice, but Trevor wanted to be able to go back to school to do school plays and Richie can’t watch anime at camp so they chose summer only

His weapon is just a normal sword but he’s campaigning to get a child of Hephaestus to make him a Katana

(They’re all three kind of outcasts in terms of their own godly parents, because Ruth and Richie don’t really fit the mold of ‘normal child of [blank]’ and Pete’s kind of just generally disliked because of his parentage, so they all sort of came together as friends out of necessity but now they’re just actually buddies and they hang out)

anyway who knows if ill do anything with this but its FUN and id love to talk about it forever they're just little demigod losers I love them

[mrhyde-mrseek]

Updated altar tour!!!

Hades & Persephone

They share an altar! Not much has changed since i last posted a picture of it except that i added a bracelet, but to recap, they’ve got:

A raven and skull Halloween decoration

A bracelet i made with Hades in mind and hung around the raven’s neck

Red Crowley-ish sunglasses

A candle holder from the thrift store

A stone snake figurine thing

A geode(?)/sparkly rock

A bat plushie (named Marcel the Mycelium Bat by my friend)

A bracelet i made for Persephone and put on the bat

Persephone’s offering bowl, a flowerpot with a crow(?) feather and a (now dead) flower

Vials of fake herbs (another Halloween decoration)

A poison apple spellbook Halloween decoration

A Hadestown magnet

A little red candle

Hades’ offering bowl, a thrifted metal bowl apparently made in 1978 (that’s the date carved on it at least) with crystals, coins, rocks, a key, a silver Beetlejuice bracelet, a button shaped like a cat eye, and a letter in it

Dionysus

Not much has changed since i last showed y’all Dionysus’s altar, but they’ve got:

A satyr statue i made in an art class

A painting with colors i associate with them

A nonbinary flag-colored heart charm

Two pinecones

A big bead with eerily similar colors to the lesbian flag

A bracelet

A gold paper heart a member of my high school a cappella group made me

Two amethyst crystals

My pronoun pin

A purple candle

Athena

Athena’s hasn’t changed much either, but it’s got:

My kindle

My vintage-looking desk light

Its offering bowl, a flower pot shaped like a statue head, with a crow feather, a little turkey feather, a massive turkey tail feather, and a Good Omens pen

A fall-scented candle

A Kamala Harris magnet from The Female Power Project

Two little plastic trophies

A few blue stones

A puzzle

An offering of iced tea & lemonade that Athena didn’t really like but didn’t want me to take it off its altar and still doesn’t (i tried it and it’s really sweet but like in a bad way so i can see why it doesn’t like it lol)

Hermes

Hermes’s altar has some new additions! I mainly got then because i wanna bring something from each altar with me to college that i won’t lose, and since candles aren’t allowed i got him something else, so now he has:

His candle (which I’m still obsessed with)

A wax doll my dad got me from a Voodoo practitioner’s shop on a business trip to New Orleans

A feather

A Newsies keychain

A marble

A tiny rubber duck figurine

Dice

What i think is Dalmatian Jasper but I could be wrong??

A couple more shiny rocks

A bracelet

A couple coins

A brand new statue (which is what I’m bringing to college)!!! It came with what I’m guessing is a little baby Hermes but I don’t really know, and a caduceus that I just realized he can hold

Artemis

Artemis’s hasn’t changed much either, except for a few added trinkets, so right now she has:

A candle

An animal skull-shaped fish tank decoration i got from my friend’s yard sale (coincidentally the same friend who named Marcel the Mycelium Bat)

A silver ring from prom

A few rocks

A little crystal, i think it’s amethyst??

A Totoro figurine

A crescent moon selenite offering bowl

An acorn

A mug inspired by her I made junior year of high school with a crow feather in it

A gold crescent moon charm

Apollo

I haven’t shown Apollo’s altar yet because he’s relatively new to the group of deities i work with/worship! He’s got:

A tall ass candle

A wolf plushie

A rainbow… thing, it’s too big to be a bracelet but too small to be a necklace so it’s his now

A gold plastic coin thing

A fake lavender-looking flower

A glass bauble charm filled with yellow glitter

My tarot cards

An award i got senior year from the music program (I scribbled out my name on the photo)

An HRC water bottle that’s kinda hidden behind the award

A couple rocks

A yellow plastic gummy bear

A squishy yellow unicorn fidget toy

A plastic toy milkshake (he thought it was funny)

Aphrodite

Aphrodite has a couple additions to her altar, too! We’ve got:

A drawing I made for her

A pretty little teal rock

Two shells

A tiny pink candle

A piece of a plastic crown from my high school’s production of Mean Girls last year, I have no idea how i ended up with it but here we are

A thing of blush (rarely used, i thought she might appreciate it more)

Coconut and pear-scented chapstick

A shell kinda shaped like a bowl with a pearly charm, two pink paper stars, and a tiny rose charm in it

Her offering bowl, a teacup, saucer, and spoon shaped like a flower, leaf, and ladybug respectively that was a graduation present from a friend!! While they’re not quite Aphrodite’s style, she still likes them on her altar because they were a symbol of platonic love!!

A bracelet in her offering bowl

[ily-sunghoon]

The Omen of Sterling | CHAPTER II

Pairing : vampire!enha x fem!oc (sunoo moments appear a lot in this chapter)

Genre of this chapter : vampire, fluff if you squint

POV : Author’s

Words count : 3.9k

WARNINGS : food, blood, slight manipulation, sunoo dad is handsome and funny (lmk if i miss anything)

Note : the masterlist almost hitting 300 notes... im very grateful, thank you for liking my works guys <3 it feels like a dream :( feel free to ask if you have confusion about the world building! and feel free to correct any grammatical mistake, im also still learning english!

MASTERLIST

TAGLIST : @nshmrarki @capri-cuntz @millieinyourarea @strxwbloody (let me know if you want to be added)

CHAPTER II: ‘PERSONALITY’ TEST

“Can I come with you?” Sarco asked Jestel who’s ready to go to Idris with Jusarlie, Saine, and of course, Iolana.

“No, you have to teach today.” Jestel knows Sarco’s schedule.

“But they have to teach too?!” Sarco pointed at Jusarlie and Saine with his chin.

“They have substitutes. You don’t.” Jestel shortly ended it.

“Ricardo can—”

“Ricardo is still one of your students, Sarco.”

“Ugh! You’re annoying.” Sarco unexpectedly sulks.

“Isn’t our bet about Jusarlie? Why is Sarco becoming grumpier than him?” Saine chuckled.

“He’s very nosy.” Jestel shook his head. “Let’s go.”

They headed to Cairneye’s Mansion. Jestel had contacted Idris beforehand, saying that they would show up with a surprise guest. Cairneye’s Mansion is beautiful. It has a wide yard, beautifully decorated with flowers, bushes, fountain, and some statues. They head straight to Idris’s workshop that usually opens every day for people who need guidance. He made an exception today, because he’s feeling like he’s going to be exhausted after Jestel’s visit.

Stepping into the workshop, Iolana can’t help but observe her surroundings. The workshop gives her a cozy feeling. Warm lights, a tall armchair, some books that were left open on the desk, potions, herbs’ scent, incense that is burning in some spots, ritual candles. It’s just very homey. Judging by his workshop, Iolana has a feeling that Idris is a warm person.

“Papa, where are you?” Saine calls to his father.

Iolana continues to observe her surroundings again. She found a table full of framed pictures. Her eyes are staring at a picture of Saine and a guy, they’re smiling so sweetly with their eyes too. Saine is holding some flowers, Iolana assumed they’re canterbury bells based on how they look.

“I always have a panic attack whenever I heard you looking for me, Saine.” Saine’s father suddenly appeared out of nowhere.

“Can you stop scaring us, Uncle?” Jusarlie scoffed.

“Keep hating your own son and see where it’ll take you! Ugh!” Saine scoffed as well. Idris is such a cute silly man.

“It’s fun.” The said man smiles, his eyes are smiling too, looks like Saine got it from him. “Oh, hi! A girl. Human even. A sweet scented one.”

“Hi.” Iolana said shyly. Idris is incredibly handsome. His fashion taste is no match too. An elegant white top with black trousers, and even the touch of a man’s corset on his waist, or more like a wide belt? Iolana doesn’t know. Is it the outfit or his face? Iolana doesn’t know that either. Cairneye are so blessed, that’s the only thing that she knows. Best physical appearance combined with predicting future skill? Iolana immediately feels the need to have whatever they have. What a strong gene.

“Do a full test on her.” Jestel orders the older man around.

“Your name, Child?” Idris asked Iolana softly.

“Iolana Sterling.” Iolana is still shy.

“Holy Amadeus!” Idris is definitely surprised. “Welcome back!”

“Thank you…” The shier she gets, the more she hides behind Jusarlie. Jusarlie found it adorable, he feels warm because Iolana is already comfortable enough to seek for his protection.

“Alright, let’s see what you’ve got.” Idris nods and prepare his bowl.

“Papa, let’s use the pool.” Saine told his father. More like a warning, to be frank.

“Oh.” Idris immediately knew what his son meant. “Excuse me for asking this, but are you perhaps the last Sterling alive right now, Iolana?”

Iolana nods, “That’s correct.”

“Well, the pool it is!” Idris listened to his son and brought some bottles of potion with him. His feeling was right, he will be exhausted today.

They walked together to the pool, Idris took off his shoes and socks, then sat by the pool.

“Sit next to me, Iolana.” Idris told her with a smile on his face. How could she say no?

She took off her own shoes and socks. Saine, Jestel, and Jusarlie immediately looked away. 1700s is so funny. When she sits next to Idris, they’re looking at the pool again. Flustered.

“Have you… take off your socks?” Saine is confused. Under the dim light, Iolana looks like she’s still wearing her socks.

“She’s just almost as pale as Sarco and you, Saine.” Idris chuckled.

“Oh, I’m so sorry.” Saine is flustered again.

“Now, Iolana. Shall we begin?” Idris looks at Iolana again.

Iolana nods calmly, showing that she’s ready.

Idris begins the ritual. He poured two bottles of his potions into the pool. He touched the pool and stirred the water to the right. “Could you tell us what you see?”

“A dining table?” Iolana is confused.

“Can you tell us what’s on that table?”

“Five empty plates and one apple in the middle of the table.” Iolana explained.

“Five? Wow! Do you see any marks on the empty plates?” Idris asked again.

“Yes. Lion, snowflake, cat, sun, and a broken crown?” Iolana is so confused.

Oh, the four of them hit the mind links together.

Idris stirs the water to his right again. “Now, what do you see?”

“The apple cut in half. It’s flying over the plates, it looks confused.”

Idris laughs. It is indeed funny. He stirs the water again, “How about now?”

“It’s changing every second, I don’t know.” Iolana frowned.

“Do you want to explain it to us?”

“One second, it’s on the snowflake plate and the cat. Next second, the snowflake and the sun.”

“Ah! Does the apple have one frequent destination?”

“I don’t think so, the apple is really confused.”

Idris laughs again. “You’re adorable.” He stirs the water again.

Iolana doesn’t have to be told this time. “I see five love letters.”

“Okay, I can understand now. How about now?” Idris stirs the water to the right again.

“I see Saine crying.” Iolana still looks confused.

“Do you know why?” Idris is kind of surprised.

“I lied, it’s actually Jestel.” Iolana giggled. She’s in a goofy mood.

The four of them are dumbfounded. The last time Idris successfully lied to was when they were having pioneers’ dinner, and the very person who lied to him was Tearle Sterling. Yes, Iolana’s father himself.

“Why am I crying?” The said person is as confused.

“I’m not sure, you look very… devastated?” Iolana is concerned.

“That’s odd!” Idris stirs the water again.

“There’s a throne.” Iolana answered.

“Who sits on it?” Idris asked.

Iolana remains silent.

“Iolana? It’s okay, you can say it.” Jestel said softly.

Can’t you read her mind? Jusarlie asked Idris through mind links.

I swear on Roberto Cairneye, I can’t read this little girl at all, Idris answered.

“It’s Jestel.” Iolana finally answered. “…or me.”

They’re definitely surprised by that.

“And that’s also my omen of Sterling.” Idris giggled. “What a coincidence, right?”

“It’s just a possibility, right? I would never do that to Jestel.” Iolana is worried about her own future.

“Yes! Don’t worry, Iolana.” Idris’ smile is so reassuring. He stirs the water again. “Do you see something?”

“Few things. Sword, crown, herbs, map, books, potions.”

Saine’s jaw dropped at that one. Idris just nods, not wanting Iolana to feel uncomfortable.

“Before I explain your results, let me talk with Jestel first. Are you okay with that, Iolana?” Idris asked her.

Iolana nods at the question, “Can I wear my shoes back?”

“Of course, Iolana.” Idris chuckled, he dried his feet with a spell and put his shoes back. “Let’s go, Jestel.”

Iolana gets her feet out of the water, Jusarlie and Saine immediately look away again.

“Hey, Saine. Could you do the spell that your father just casted for himself?” Iolana asked at Saine.

“Is it okay for you—you know…” If Saine is a human, he’s blushing pink right now.

“Yeah, of course!”

“Excuse me, Iolana.” Saine said before looking towards Iolana. He swings his hand above Iolana’s bare feet while casting the spell.

“Wow, you should teach me that!” Iolana is amazed. “Thank you, Saine.”

“N-no problem.” Saine looks away again.

“Just to let you know, it’s okay to look at me. I grew up being okay with my feet on display at home.”

“It’s just… we feel like a pervert…” Saine admitted.

“I wonder what’s the limit of dressing here in Krashoviel.” Iolana laughed. “I’m done. You are safe to look.”

Jusarlie and Saine hesitantly look toward Iolana again. They feel relieved when her feet are fully covered with her long skirt and shoes again.

“The girls are usually covering their feet, that’s why we act that way earlier.” Jusarlie explained.

“I want to be controversial and show my ankle to the streets.” Iolana giggled.

“No, no, no!” Jusarlie and Saine panicked. “Arms are okay, but ankle? Wow, that’s pornographic.”

“That’s confusing.” Iolana nods. “What about chest area? How far can the neckline go?”

“Chest area is okay, as long as the breasts are not like… full on display? Ankles, however, is a big no.” Saine explained. “I feel like invading your privacy earlier when casting that spell.”

Iolana laughed. Krashoviel is so funny for her, when it’s just her who doesn’t even leave her house before going to Krashoviel. She’s lucky she’s easy-going and pretty.

“Drink this, don’t you feel tired?” Saine hands her a glass of questionable drink.

“Not really.” Iolana accepts the glass. “Oh, what is this?”

She smelled the drink, and it smelled like strawberry! She drinks it without hesitation until the last drop. “I like it! What is this? Strawberry juice?”

Curiosity kills the cat!

“Our bloods.” Saine grins.

“Oh?” Iolana is concerned. “What would that do? Whose blood?”

“Three of us. It can give you strength! And you can summon us anytime you want when you need it. You can also talk to us through telepathy.” Saine explained excitedly.

“Summon you? How?” Iolana is interested in this.

“Just say our name and say you need us. For example, Jusarlie I need you.” Jusarlie explained further.

“Oh! I get it.” Iolana nods. “But why? Isn’t that… personal? Don’t you think I need to gain your trusts first?”

“You already did.”

It feels too fast for Iolana, but she accepts it as it is. She’s grateful that they care about her a lot, but are they?

—

“Jestel, that was the most entertaining reading that I ever did. I thanked you for that.” Idris is giggling non-stop.

“Elaborate, please.” Jestel is frustrated.

“You will fight your best friends.” Idris started off so strong. “You, Saine, Jusarlie, Sarco, and Hiael.”

“Why?” Jestel asked, still oblivious.

“You’re going to fall in love with Iolana. All of you.” Idris stated. “Some of you already did, I checked my son and he’s already blooming for her.”

“That doesn’t make any sense.” Jestel shook his head.

“Love never makes any sense, Jestel.” One thing about Idris is that he hits hard with his words, accidentally or not. “Especially the throne for her vamp host. You’re going to fight really dirty for that. I can see it.”

“Nonsense.” Jestel scoffed.

“I won’t help you if you cry someday.” Idris threatened him. Scares him for sure, where will Jestel run to for advice if not Idris?

“What should I do about this?” Jestel is stressed out.

“Accept it.” Idris calmly told him.

“What can I do to make her choose me?”

“That remains a mystery.” Idris doesn’t know either. “I’m more surprised you’re not bringing up anything about the throne. You already fell for her, don’t you?”

“No. I just trust her.” Jestel explained himself.

“You gave her your blood, along with Saine and Jusarlie.” Idris points that out.

“She’s a human, Idris. I just want to protect her.”

“Sure, sure. Protect her. When we all know it’s special and intimate.” Idris mocked him.

“It’s not that intimate.”

“Imagine she chose Sarco as her vamp host.” Idris immediately puts a scenario.

“Fine, it is intimate.”

“Best of luck, Jestel.” Idris taps his shoulder a few times. “It’s going to be anything but easy.”

“She’s not capable of wiping out the whole Sinflame, right? She’s lovely, she would never do that.” Jestel asked Idris for reassurance.

“Not yet. However, if I was you… I would never get on her wrong side. She’s a complicated girl.”

—

“Your father is so majestic.” Iolana admitted. Truly smitten by Saine’s father.

“You think I’m ugly?” Saine acts like he has been hurt.

“I never said that.” Iolana is still giggling over Idris.

“Don’t feed his ego, Iolana.” Jusarlie scoffed.           

“Get over it, Jusarlie. She thinks I’m handsome.” Saine is being cocky right now.

“Your father reminds me of a pine tree.” Iolana sudden words silenced them.

Jusarlie and Saine is so confused. There’s no way she just said that like it’s a normal thing to do.

“I can’t believe we lose you to Sarco’s species.” Saine faked a sigh.

“Species is insane.” Jusarlie laughs. “Why a pine tree?”

“Tall, look good, calming, I don’t know? He reminds me of it.”

“Bloody hell, she really is a Sarco’s species.” Jusarlie couldn’t believe it.

“Why Sarco?” Iolana is curious.

“He’s odd. Just like you. I don’t mean it in a bad way, it’s creative. Sometimes we just… don’t understand.” Saine explained. “He did that a lot, saying I look like the lamp near south’s stairs and so on.”

“You should show me the lamp later.” Iolana is invested now.

“Hey, small question, but if you don’t want to answer it’s fine. What happened to your hair? Did you get punished?” Jusarlie suddenly hits Iolana with a personal and nosy question.

Iolana expects this with her a little bit over the shoulder-length hair. It is unusual for a girl to have hair that short, at least in their era.

“Well, it was an accident. It got cut by my brother when we were practicing sword, so my mom cut it all to this length.” Iolana explained. “I’m waiting for it to be long again. It’s troublesome, I can’t tie it properly, yet it’s annoying enough to be left undone like this.”

Jusarlie and Saine nod in unison.

Idris and Jestel went back to the pool area. Jestel looks stressed, while Idris looks happy. What a weird combination.

“Iolana, do you mind if I ask you to lend us your power?” Idris asked.

“Huh? I have power?” Iolana is confused again.

“Bigger than you think.” Idris giggled. “We are also testing it out.”

“Sure, if it’s for a good reason…” Iolana is totally unsure.

“We are going to search for Jestel’s long lost brother, Holstein.” Idris explained briefly.

“But I don’t know what he looks like?” Iolana is still questioning him.

“You will, if you succeed.” Idris smiles warmly. “Would you do it?”

Iolana nods after a few seconds of hesitation. She sits between Idris and Jestel, making half of a circle.

“Saine, Jusarlie, let’s go.” Idris points at the empty seats.

“You need us as well?” Jusarlie questioned but obeyed.

“You were just doing nothing, so why not?” Idris is an entertaining man for sure.

They held each other’s hands. For the first time ever, Jestel could understand what the romance books were talking about. The electricity and the butterflies, he feels them now.

“I seek upon Holstein Sinflame whereabouts,” as Idris said those words, there is a big cloud forming over Cairneye’s mansion. Thunder begins to growl, lightning begins to show.

They close their eyes, focusing on the name Holstein Sinflame.

They begin to see a vision. A palace, but not Krashiovel’s palace.

“Whose vision is this?” Jestel asked.

“Iolana.” Idris answered.

“Have you found the girl?” Holstein asked them.

“She killed herself along with her father, Your Highness.”

“Did you see her face? Is it really her?” Holstein asked again.

“No, but there is no way she could run away. We’ve blocked all the access.”

“Tearle is the smartest vampire that I’ve ever met. She could be in Krashoviel now with my stupid brother.” The Prince of Slevado is furious.

“That would be the same as suicide, her blood smells so fucking sweet.” Holstein chuckled. “Where is she?”

“Holstein, you must come back to Krashoviel and fetch that girl.”

“Unnecessary, I think she’s gone.”

The vision turns black again, the clouds are nowhere to be found, the thunder is no longer roaring.

“Wow, he’s a traitor.” Saine couldn’t believe what he just saw.

Idris was the only one laughing, he couldn’t contain it. “It’s so funny, you’re swapping brothers.”

Iolana holds back her giggle, she doesn’t want to be rude.

“Thank you, Iolana.” Idris has stopped laughing. “We wouldn’t make it without you, we’ve tried for hundred years to get a vision of Holstein.”

“I didn’t do that much, I’m glad I could help.” Iolana is still oblivious about her real power, buried deep down under that human form.

“Here’s your test result, make sure you read it alone without them lurking.” Idris intentionally whispered loudly.

“I will lurk.” Saine smiles.

“Have some class.” Idris faked a sigh.

“We’ll head out, Idris. Thank you for your service.” Jestel stood up, the others followed.

“Bye, Papa.” Saine waves at his father.

“Don’t come back.”

“You see? He’s not as handsome as you think, Iolana.” Saine used that as a way to show her his father’s teasing habit.

“Forgivable if he has that elf type of face.” Iolana giggled.

“Aw, you flustered me.” Idris chuckled at Iolana. She has a sense of humor too!

“Let’s go.” Jestel is not having it. Well, at least now he knows that he truly fell for her.

—

Saine is being told to look after Iolana while the others held emergency meeting for the third time today, of course he enjoys this! They’re currently putting Iolana’s clothes into the wardrobe.

“I think you have good eyes for apparels. I want your wardrobe.” Saine adores Iolana’s taste in fashion. “Ah, the trousers! Where did you get these?”

“Come on, Saine. Those are just my casual and practice clothes. I got it from my human maids.” Iolana chuckled. “I love my pretty dresses, but I barely get to wear it.”

“You will wear it more often now, there are so many events that we usually have to attend.” Saine informed her. “Ah, you don’t have any ball gowns! Do you want to go to Charson? You’ll need some gowns for royal ball and Jestel’s birthday.”

“Is it far?” Iolana asked.

“Not really, but we need to cover your scent.” Saine chuckled. “I’ll put some spell on you. It could last for two hours, at least.”

—

“Don’t play with me, Jestel. What do you mean Holstein is a traitor?” Sarco shook his head.

“That’s what we saw.” Jusarllie admitted.

“They must’ve brainwashed our Holstein,” Odelia, the queen on the throne, scoffed. Clearly annoyed.

“Hiael betrayed his nation by his own will, it is not an impossibility if Holstein ever do the same.” Idris shrugged his shoulder. “However, this Sterling girl…”

“What Sterling girl?” Raphael, the queen’s brother, is shocked.

“She came with this letter.” Jestel gave them the letter that Tearle wrote.

“She’s back? Here? In Krashoviel?” Sullivan, the queen’s father, is puzzled.

“She could end your bloodline.” Idris said without any burden.

“I’d rather be dead than to fight back, it’s no use.” Sullivan chuckled. “Oh, Sterling.”

“Are Sterling that dangerous?” Wilhelmina, Jestel’s niece, is too young to watch how frightening Sterling can be back then in the war field.

“I’m really scared of them, take that information as you wish.” Sullivan said to his great-granddaughter.

“Oh!” Wilhelmina is surprised. “Is she beautiful?”

“Very.” Jestel answered. “I would do anything for her.”

“In front of your queen aunt is just insane, Jestel.” Idris laughed at his son.

“I don’t blame him.” Jusarlie stands with him.

“They fell for her charm,” Sarco scoffed. “I would ne—”

“Careful, now.” Idris warned Sarco. “You will fall for her too. I saw it.”

“Who else?” Odelia asked her son.

“Saine and Hiael. The five of them will fight to be her vamp host.” Idris informed them.

“This is ridiculous, let’s just kill that girl.” Raphael is furious. “She will tear us apart.”

“If Sinflame is no longer worthy of the throne, then just let it be.” Odelia is calmer than the others.

“What on earth are you saying, Odelia?” Raphael is getting more furious. What an old grumpy man.

“Grandma Odelia is not wrong.” Wilhelmina is against his father.

“Father, look at this—” Raphael seeks Sullivan’s support.

“I’m not going to say anything.” Sullivan is busy cleaning each of his gemstones.

“That girl won’t do it by herself, right? Who are the potential traitors?” Raphael asked Idris.

“Have you ever done a friendly practice with Tearle?” Idris questioned him back.

“No, why?”

“Then you are not in the place to say that.” Sullivan makes it clear. “One Sullivan equals five Sinflame. Train her as hard as you can, give her the best facility, and don’t you dare to let other nations have her.”

“Yes, Grandpa.” Jestel nods.

“When will you sit on the throne, Jestel?” Odelia asked, she’s tired of the kingdom’s bullshits.

“As soon as possible, I’m still preparing myself.” Jestel feels a heavy weight on his shoulders. He can’t control his feelings toward Iolana, that is what bothers him the most right now.

—

“Mr. Cairneye! Oh, my vamp, close the shop!” The receptionist panicked when he saw Saine smiling at him.

The workers immediately temporarily close the shop, the other guests who are waiting outside are getting used to it now. Must be one of the pioneers making some sudden appearance.

“How can we help you, Your Highness?” The shop workers are ready to serve him.

“I’d like some ball gowns for this cute little girl.” Saine pushed Iolana slightly.

“Of course, we’ll measure her.” Two of the workers quickly measured Iolana, while the others asked Saine about the gown’s details.

“What’s your favorite color, Iolana?” Saine questioned her. “You can name five.”

“White and pink. As for the others, I’ll leave it to you. I trust you.” Iolana is never failed to make Saine feels so… flustered.

“White, pink, blue, red, and purple.” Saine told the worker.

“Which shade, Your Highness?”

“Actually… make it six. White, violet, navy, sky blue, maroon, and pink. Maybe a bold pink like this one? Iolana, do you like it?” Saine asked her again.

“Loves it.” Iolana stares adoringly at the color that Saine just showed her. It’s almost fuchsia, just a little less bold.

“Pardon me, Your Highness. She looks unfamiliar to me, is she a new citizen? I’ve never seen her before.” Jeremy asked Saine, trying to be as polite as possible.

“Yes, she is. She’s Iolana Sterling, Jeremy.”

“S-Sterling, Your Highness?”

“She has a perfect body proportion.” One of the measurement workers said to the other.

“Thank you.” Iolana whispered to them.

“We apologize, we didn’t mean to…”

“It’s okay. I love your compliment. You’re being genuine.” Iolana smiles. “I’m done, Saine.”

She walked to Saine as he smiled at her proudly.

“Payment should be here by tomorrow morning. Thank you for your service, Jeremy.” Saine informed the owner of that grand boutique.

“Always happy to be at your service, Your Highness and Lady Sterling. Thank you for trusting us.” The workers and Jeremy bow a little to show their respect and devotion towards the pioneers.

They walked out of Charson and went home instantly. After they got back to Iolana’s room, Saine seemed confused.

“Are you not going to ask anything about them referring me as… you know?”

“Jusarlie told me about the royal family’s tree. I was a little surprised, I’m so sorry I interacted with you so casually.” Iolana admitted, feeling a little guilty.

“No, no! Keep being casual, we’re equal.” Saine quickly reassured her. “No one dares to challenge a Sterling, not even the oldest Sinflame alive. You’re still a part of the pioneers.”

Pioneers.

It sounds incredibly weird for Iolana, but deep down in her heart… it feels just right.

TO BE CONTINUED...

; YOUR CUTE REBLOGS AND COMMENTS MAKE ME FEEL REALLY GRATEFUL <3 ; FEEL FREE TO HIT MY ASK IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTION ABOUT THE WORLD BUILDING OR CHARACTER!

© ily-sunghoon, 2024 DO NOT COPY, STEAL, PLAGIARIZE, OR REPOST ON OTHER PLATFORM DO NOT TRANSLATE WITHOUT PERMISSION

[venisonsteak403]

Funny Pre-Tank Think Tank headcanons:

Mobious Faked his own death (Not for tax reason though)

Klein Also faked his death (For tax reasons)

They're also Married (For Tax reasons)

Dala Gets So many bitches I swear

Borous isn't allowed near schools. Not because, you know, But because he is known to set fire to schools, He's allowed Near Kindergartens but That's because He had a good Experience there

8 can't Spell Restaurant

0 Used to bite kids who disagreed with him

He only stopped because he doesn't interact with kids as much

Their favorite types of candies are as follows: Lollipops for Dala, Gummy bears for Borous, Klein Likes Chocolate, 8 Likes Those candy whistles idk what they're called, 0 Likes Sour candy and Mobious Liked Bubblegum

0 cannot Handle spice

Dala is allergic to Shellfish

Dala and 0 Still Sleep with stuffed animals: Dala Sleeps with a Teddy bear she Calls "Eddy bear" And 0 Sleeps with a giant stuffed Hare (he will slap someone for getting it wrong) Who he named "Socrates"

Borous Prefers live animals

0, Klein and Dala all had Cats Growing up, Meanwhile Borous and 8 Had dogs, Mobious had a Pet Lizard

The Cats were named: Miffy (0's Cat), Archimedes, Schrodinger and Homer (Klein's cats, The Last two Dissapeared From time to time, Leaving poor little Klein Questioning their existance) And Millian (Dala's Cat)

The dogs were named: Gabriel (Borous'es dog [Duh.]) and Solla (8's Dog)

Borous once took care Of the Class Hamster and it was never found, To this day he swears RICHIE MARCUS stole it

0 And Borous Went to School Together but Borous will Deny it because he doesn't remember him

Chat. Borous Doesn't remember 0 Because He's trans. He was Literally Little Cindy back then, Borous just can't connect the dots.

0 is actually 1-2 Years younger than the Rest of the Think tank, And He's somehow bitter about that too

8 Despises The Spice Girls for some reason

Klein Listens to Chapell roan

Mobious had an husband Before Klein but nobody Knows what happened to him and it's starting to freak out Everyone else

0 has not Had one Normal Break up, Every ex of his either wants him, Or wants him dead, The other Think tanks are Both Impressed and Horrified (Except Dala who's just Impressed)

Dala Has had exactly 7 Girlfriends and Everyone Keeps Joking the Next girl will have to fight her 7 Evil Exes

Klein Ruined Game Night By throwing the Monopoly board off the Balcony at least 3 Times

8 wanted to be an Artist But got rejected from art school (Not gonna make a joke here)

Borous Keeps A gun under his pillow and Has accidentally shot his downstairs neighbor (0) Several times

Borous has a "Women want me Fish fear me" Shirt and Everyone keeps making fun of it

Klein has a sleeping Mask with "whore" on it in pink

Mobious Has no dignity

0 Thought he was pregnant once and Told Borous to Shoot him in the stomach

Borous Missed and got Dala instead

0 has so many fucking Insecurities he's inventing new ones

They've held an Intervention for Mobious After he invented roboscorpions

Can you guess how that ended up?

0 is just Like Newt From good Omens

0 has Called Klein dad multiple times, Nobody mentions it

He called Dala Mom once and Everyone lost their shit

Mobious has to wear a turtleneck In summer Or Klein will thirst so hard he'll die of dehydration

Once when there was a Thunderstorm and the power went out, Everyone just huddled up in Klein's Office and they had a Sleepover

Borous said that this Was the first sleepover he ever had and he was glad it was with the Think tank

Mobious Cried

Mobious, 0 and Klein Are Trans men while Dala is Some sort of gender neutral

Borous is Bisexual but would never admit it

He's so much in an Egyptian river Once when 0 told him that he (borous) had slept with men before He told Gabe to attack him

0 got seven stitches and is plotting his revenge

[fuckyeahgoodomensfanfic]

Good Omens Fic Rec: Man to Man and because thinking makes it so

Man to Man 61,517 words Crowley is the token twink in a corporate office, with a growing fascination with one of his colleagues. After a month of stewing in his horny stupor, he crosses paths with his dream man at an office party, striking up a conversation with the help of liquid courage. There is only one obstacle: based on his past history, the beautiful blond angel is presumed to be straight… or is he? because thinking makes it so 41,398 words It's supposed to be an exchange. An arrangement. Something to make them both feel better and less lonely. But Crowley's never had the brightest ideas.

Length: 61,517 words / 41,398 words

AO3 Rating: Explicit / Spice Level 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

Best for: After Dark, Human AU

Triggers: None

Read Man to Man here, fic by leukozyna

Read because thinking makes it so here, fic by NaroMoreau, summerofspock

*Minor Spoilers* So, I don’t know how I feel about making this a double rec, but I feel like these deserve to be read together! Both fics take inspiration from the same Twitter thread and I am obsessed with how each took this prompt and made it their own. If you're going to read one, I really want you to read the other, so double post here we are! To briefly summarize, both start with Crowley (the self-appointed office twink) coming onto Aziraphale (the shy, self-conscious divorcee) at their office holiday party and starting a (super casual, totally won't lead into anything) sexual relationship.

Let's start with Man to Man. This Crowley has had a crush on Aziraphale for ages, and his proposition is a reckless slip of the tongue. I love Aziraphale's wit in this, his comebacks and jokes are so funny and perfectly capture his campy bitchiness. Their relationship is so realistic in a way that I swooned over. I love when sex isn't immediately magical and perfect. It's sloppy and not great at the start, but Aziraphale has a wonderful and patient teacher. This story really celebrates the slow domesticity of a new relationship. Finding out what each other likes and cares about, bringing them into your life, waking up together for the first time. It's all very lovely, but it's got quite a naughty side too! Their sex life is very steamy, and like I said, I loved the learning how to please each other aspect of it as well.

Now, because thinking makes it so, this one takes them down a slightly different road. Here, Aziraphale has a kid! He has an amicable relationship with his ex, and often has his son Adam. But what he misses is sex. Well, Crowley can certainly help in that aspect! This fic is the slightly more explicit one. Aziraphale is more sexually skilled in this fic, but he is still has a lot to learn about the pleasure of having gay sex. Especially when you've never stopped to consider your own sexuality. This one has some excellent plot points with Crowley being introduced to Adam, and how you can imagine them becoming a little family together. I'll always have a soft spot in my heart for single dad stories. This one also gives us a little more angst with their relationship, things aren't always perfectly smooth with them, but don't worry we'll get our happy (and steamy) ending.

I loved both of these fics equally, and I really hope you take my suggestion to read both of them! They are both so well written, each are lighthearted, and maddingly sexy. The way each of them interpreted the same idea is so fascinating to me, truly both outstanding stories! After dark reads for both, of course.

Read Man to Man here, fic by leukozyna

Read because thinking makes it so here, fic by NaroMoreau, summerofspock

[christinebloodwrittings]

Something exactly like this

Pairing: Hobie Brown x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Violence, abuse, police brutality, hints of ptsd, cursing.

Words: 1957

Chapter four: If only we weren't strangers.

Taglist: @xoxobabe @lavndrluv @whatamidoing89 @theboyrisingfromstardust

There are moments in life that simply cannot be forgotten. When you least expect them, they repeat in your head like a catchy tune. Or at least, that's what good times sound like, like a day with your parents at the park, eating ice cream, laughing and playing, having the sun warm up your skin nicely.

But in moments of peace, my mind wanders over my decisions, entwined in infinite designs of a pattern that forms an image. It's blurry and incomplete, but each thread glows brightly, almost alive.

God knows I made bad decisions, some worse than others, like sneaking out to a party and getting my stubborn ass dragged to the police station was one of the worst, but for the sake of just going. I shouldn't have done it, I shouldn't have drunk, or let myself be carried away by the music, much less let one of the guys make me take a walk to get some air.

Because they didn't process me as a teenager, but as an adult.

An adult who had drunk like never before in her life, a minor, defenseless, with zero reasoning power.

The policeman who handcuffed me didn't read my rights, he just pushed my head into the car and drove to the station. He was suspiciously heavily armed, I must say.

He didn't put me in a cell, it was more of a room with a desk and pictures of a bald white guy with a loving family. I remember that desk well, especially the smooth, cold surface.

The officer just told me to wait quietly, that if I made a single sound he would break my knees, or so I think, I just remember laughing.

The rest is history... medical history.

It's funny how much you can miss after a few drinks, but at least they kept me from remembering what was important. My body and the photographs that the detectives took spoke for themselves.

During my time in the hospital room, a doctor came to me with news, supposedly to improve my mood, he told me that two policemen had entered the hospital with me, one of them blind in one eye and the other with a piece of his ear missing.

He was the typical adult who thought himself young and cool, trying to ease my pain with more or less happy news, something like "You look like crap, but you should see the others, champ!", but I doubt they were starring in their own version of the mummy.

Although of course, it was curious that when I woke up, I was missing several of my acrylic nails. Back then I did what it took to fit in, we've all been there.

My case was left unfinished, for a change. The policemen had no legal repercussions and remained intact in their jobs. It was never made public since I lived in a town in the middle of nowhere, and the detective in charge just gave me a taser in case it happens again.

I fucking hate the system.

My dad went crazy for it, who wouldn't be? That led him to call an old friend who had recently made a name for himself in the big city, in a political position.

I thought that justice would be done through human means and that the system would finally work, but unfortunately that dinner was the beginning of a terrible decision.

It was also the last time that Norman Osborn sat at our table looking completely human.

From that experience I was left with an omen, a voice, that screamed heartbreaking pleas for me to get away from the police, especially if it was V.E.N.O.M.

It has me sweating cold most of my nights.

That night I listened to it again and like an instinct I jumped out of my seat and started running. I spotted the emergency exit, I didn't think twice, I kicked it and ran in the opposite direction of the blue and red glow.

But it was as if it was getting louder, ferocious voices were yelling at me to stop, that I was under arrest, I was not going to let them take me away again, ever, over my corpse.

The burning tires, the smell of gasoline, everything led me to that night. I felt my heart in my ears, from the tears I could hardly see where I was going, and I only knew that I was moving through the cold air hitting my face, I could no longer feel my legs or my body in general. I just needed to run away.

The only time I stopped was when something grabbed me by the waist and stuck my back to his chest, looking up I realized it was Spider-punk. He lifted his finger to where I figured his mouth was, signaling for me to be quiet, but between my agitated hyperventilation, I just couldn't.

"I'm here, I won't let 'em take you" he whispered, getting a tigher hold of my body. A warm feeling grounded me a little when he hugged me, the rest of my body was so cold, I yearned for more warmth.

A loud bang resonated though the air, before the police sirens started to fade in the distance. We stayed a few minutes like that, even long after the silence settled among city's normal noise.

"They're gone now" he patted my head slightly, reassuring me. It felt nice to be held again, to feel safe for a minute.

"Looks like I owe you that kiss, huh?" I rolled my eyes, it's true that the danger was far away now, but it wasn't the right time to joke around.

"For all wrong reasons" I wanted to move, but I guess I took it too far with the escape run, it felt as if my feet were asleep. It was like the cold air built stalactites on the insides of my lungs, every breath brought a painful pang on my side.

"I don't mind settling that, but maybe I should leave you an excuse" he smiled, using my own words, "Perhaps you should".

Stepping a few times seemed to make the trick, I could feel my feet again, but the burning sensation in my chest remained, so I just walked at an old lady's speed.

"I get it, you were scared, the adrenaline is wearin' off, but you don't have to be so cold" he kept himself close, no quite beside me, but close.

I didn't respond to any of his callings, honestly I was far too tired and fed up with myself to handle anything external, except than silence, which was the last thing following me.

"Hey, 's goin on?" He stopped me by grabbing my arm, not making any pressure on it, he just hooked his hand on my elbow and stopped walking, making me almost lose my balance and curse under my breath.

"Fuck sake, why are you so fixated on the kiss thing? It was a joke, I thought I would never see you again, so it didn't mattered what I said", janking away from his hand, I managed to regain my posture and my walk.

"Well, it did to me" he muttered.

"I'm sorry, picture this for a fucking second. Normal female citizen about to be beaten up by a corrupt cop gets saved by a random dude with superpowers, among them abnormal strength. Then gets dropped off at her apartment, and the creep expects a kiss, so she jokes as to not make the mutant mad, and he keeps being flirty and pushy about the damn thing!" I lost my breath at the last sentence, and it broke me to realize how much it really hit me.

Perhaps I was being too hard on him, but pushing the issue in the first place, and in a situation of extreme stress was kind of the last drop.

"Now I was chased by cops, my heart is in the back of my mouth as well as the pie and my lunch, I'm tired, it's been a long fucking day, and guess what, the stranger keeps being pushy about a fucking kiss" then I went silent, having almost nothing else on my chest to vomit at all. Perhaps it wasn't how I wanted to say it, but I had a limit, and I couldn't find another way to draw it.

He backed up a little, raising his open palms to his chest level, "Hey, 'm sorry, I was just joking around" His voice was low and apologetic, it was like his presence shrunk from the tall and intimidating Spider-Punk, to just a guy that realized he fucked up.

I took a big breath, the burning sensation calming down a little, "Look I'm sorry, I have a bad history with cops, and men in general, the stress is all over me...I should've minded my words" down the weather was an understatement of my mood.

He hesitated, but in a slow motion, very carefully, he brushed a strand of lose hair off my face, brushing my cheek sweetly along the way.

"Forgive me luv, I pushed it" I nodded, his hand lingered on my cheek for a couple more seconds before withdrawing his touch, leaving me with a fluttery sensation.

He patted his jacket for a second before pulling a wrinkled piece of paper, which he handed to me, "Y'know, you can call this number, he's always around, 's a good pal o' mine, he'll help you if you need it" it had a phone number and a name that seemed to be a joke by now.

"Hobie Brown, the guitarrist? Met him already" he turned around to see me, "Really?" It was as if I could see his eyebrows rising.

"He pulled me out of the crowd mid anxiety attack, we didn't spoke much, but I apreciated it" he was so considerate for that, and I don't think I ever thank him for it.

"Intrestin', what do you think of him? First impresions only" I was taken aback by his question, but I didn't minded much, "He seemed nice, intimidating and surreal, but nice. My friend and her boyfriend supposedly set us up in order to date, but I don't see it happening" more like a failed ambush by cupid.

"Why's that?"

"I don't know, I guess...I guess we're too different, we don't even like the same music, and he's so..." so handsome but too much at this moment,

"So?"

"Rebel, he seems like trouble"

"What's life without a lil' trouble?"

"Are you also trying to set me up with that friend of yours? He can't be that dreamy, besides I don't know if I'm ready to jump in a relationship just yet"

"I understand"

He opened his arm to me, I thought he was going to swing us back to my place. Instead, he hugged me, his arm circulated my waist, and the other caressed my hair, "May I?" I looked up, his face was only inches from mine, "Fine, just do it" He chucked while using a finger to make me face the alley, then I felt his lips on my cheek.

When I turned to face him, his mask was fully covering his face, got to say I was a little disappointed. "We're settled then?" He chuckled again, "On my end only, can't wait for your kiss" this dude was making me crazy, "You're insufferable" this time he did wrap me with his arms and took off, "Indeed darling" was the last thing he did before dropping me off back at my place and then leaving again.

Funny, I found the crisps he promised right on my bed when I came back.