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mountainsandmayhem · 7 months ago

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BDSMaid - Chapter 5 Part Two

Series Summary: After recently graduating you take what is supposed to be a job to save money before you go back to university to get your law degree. Your best friend offers you a job cleaning luxury homes for clients you’ll never know. Easy. Simple. Mundane. Until one of your clients is home and everything you felt was missing in your life starts to fall into place. This goes against the NDA you signed and you could get fired. Or worse, you could fall in love.

Chapter Summary: You and Joel go to a Shibari class together; an innocent date, or is it?

TW: age gap (Joel 45/reader 22), reader does have some descriptors so more of an OC. Reader has longer hair and Joel can lift her. Mutual pining, kissing. Spoiler triggers below the cut in red.

WC: 8.2k

AN: Ok fiiiiiinnnneeeeee I couldn't wait any longer and I left you all on kind of a cliffhanger. As always, thank you to my lovely @lotusbxtch for reading and encouraging and helping me grow. Thanks @mermaidgirl30 , @littlevenicebitch69 and @joelmillerisapunk for being my lil cheerleaders. @for-a-longlongtime thanks for stoping me from working on that bull rider series LOL. Ok, enjoy this slowly because I haven't even STARTED chapter 6 yet, so I doubt it will be out until late October. Dividers and banners by the oh so talented @saradika-graphics

Masterlist || Series Masterlist

TW: complete sensory deprivation (tied down, blind folded and has hearing blocked), multiple orgasms, denial

Joel

Joel has tried to keep his distance since referring to tonight as a date. He left another large tip for your clean this week and then made sure he was as busy as possible to stop himself from going home to see you. As he coaxed you into drinking the orange juice and the water he kept hearing “it’s a date” over and over again in his mind, and he’d cringe internally. He wouldn’t have blamed you if you had leaped out of that bed and ran home. The thought of you wanting him in that way is ridiculous. Not only because he’s over twice your age, but you came to him for help with building self confidence and for an escape, and then he went and said something so fucking stupid.

He shakes his head and pulls up his emails, trying to distract himself for what feels like the one hundredth time. Of course he wants to date you, he’d be crazy not to, but he can’t blur those lines. Furthermore, even if there was the slightest chance that you felt the same way he can’t risk breaking your heart the way he’s broken so many others.

She’s going to break yours, old man. Not the other way around.

Wednesday has been absolutely crawling. Time almost mocking him with how slow it’s ticking by. As he goes over the list of tonight's guests, Tess knocks on his small office door at the club.

“Hey,” she says, plopping down in the arm chair across from the desk. “You coming tonight?”

“Of course. Looks like a good turn out. Did the instructor make it in ok?”

“Cap picked her up from the airport yesterday and got her all settled at the hotel. Do you think you’re going to need me tonight?”

Joel cocks an eyebrow at her. He’s known Tess since she was ten. Her and Tommy are the same age, Joel being two years their senior. Aside from a few months when Tess and Tommy were sixteen, the three of them have been inseparable ever since. Tess was usually the undeclared leader of the group due to her bossy nature, but she kept the Miller brothers out of trouble most of the time.

“What’s wrong, Tess?”

“Nothin’,” she crosses her arms across her chest. “I am the planner, you and Tommy are the personality. I’m fine to stay behind the scenes for this one.”

“You’ve been acting strange since the poker night.”

She rolls her eyes at him. She’s probably the only person ballsy enough to do that to Joel besides Tommy, but Joel’s almost convinced his little brother is more dumb than ballsy. “I’m fine, Joel. The staff is all in good morale, and that’s my department. Remember?”

Joel just stares as she continues, lowering her voice to mock his. “I need you to be the people person. Hire them, train them. I’m not patient enough because I’m a big scary dom who will just want to spank them for not listening. I also can’t plan anything because I have a man brain.”

“Hilarious,” Joel deadpans as Tess laughs at her own jokes. “I’m being serious though, are you sure you're ok?”

“Yes, you don’t need to be concerned about me. I’m actually a little gutted I’m gonna miss it. Tommy told me there’s been a very pretty young lady hanging around you lately.”

Joel puts his reading glasses on with one hand and pointing to his door with the other. “Out.”

You

Joel referring to tonight as a date has been on loop for the last few days. He has this amazing way of shutting off your brain and then leaving you with so many new questions. Either way, when a few more college letters came over the last few days you convinced yourself that right before leaving for the shibari-demonstration-slash-date was the best time to open them.

Odette and Jamie sit on the couch across from you as you slide open the first letter. The thick eggshell parchment stamped with the Yale logo pops open easily. You close your eyes as you open the paper, the only sound in the room is the thundering of your heart behind your ribs.

You peel your eyes open and read out loud. “We regret to inform you that you have not…” your voice falls off, fingers shaking as you put it back in the envelope.

“Hey, we expected a few no’s,” Jamie says gently, always the optimist.

Odette takes the other approach, “Their fucking loss, bunch of stuffy old cunts! Next!”

You laugh at the juxtaposition of your friends' responses and reach for the Harvard letter. “We regret to inform you…”

“Keep going babe,” Jamie says softly.

You pick up the bright white Columbia letter. “We regret to inform you…fuck.” You feel the defeat start to creep in, like thick morning fog. It’s suffocating, choking all the happiness and excitement you had for tonight.

“What the fuck is wrong with these schools!” Odette says, snatching the letters up so she can check for herself. “Do the Toronto one, Canadians are supposed to be nice.”

“I can’t open anymore,” you say as your head falls back into the sofa. The fog starts to spread through your body, shutting you down inch by inch. You know you have to open the rest. You’ll spend the rest of the night wondering what they say if you don’t finish them. “You do it, Jamie.”

She shuffles in her seat uncomfortably. She’s not the kind of girl who likes to disappoint others; she's bright and happy but at this moment she’s the only person that you can take bad news from. As if she can read your thoughts, she grabs the University of Toronto letter. The sound of the envelope popping open slices through you. She clears her throat as she opens the paper and then reads aloud the same sentence you did. The letters from Duke and Notre Dame follow the same painful routine. With each rejection your stomach swirls, nausea building on top of self doubt and anxiety.

Six out of the eight universities you applied to have turned you down; Berkeley and the University of Austin are your only chances left at reaching your dreams. The silence in the small rental unit has you on edge, so much so that when your phone vibrates beside you you jump. A sunset beach photo from your last trip to California is the background from a text from Cap telling you he’ll be at your doorstep in about twenty minutes.

“I gotta finish getting ready,” you say, dragging yourself to the bathroom to touch up any makeup and brush your teeth.

“Babe?” Jamie says, following you down the hall. “You wanna stay here instead of going to that mixer?”

The reminder of the lie sends a new wave of nausea through you. Tonight you became a law school reject and an even bigger liar. Don’t forget that you’re also falling in love with an unattainable man, says the glittery pink box. You mentally lift a single finger in its direction, it usually doesn’t turn on you like that.

“I need the distraction.” You say, deciding that that’s not really a lie.

Your friends look at you with sadness in their eyes and even though you’re sad too, you wish you could tell them about Mister Miller and the club. You know they’d be excited about whatever this thing is and it would really help to have someone to decipher all the moments that live in your mind.

“It’s a date”.

When you walk through the large door from the lobby and into the club, you’re welcomed by a completely different atmosphere. It’s not all dim lights and sexy music like it normally is; instead the overhead lights are on and all the people are dressed in regular clothing or athletic wear and not the sexy outfits they’d normally pick to come here. Joel is no exception, dressed in dark wash jeans and a fitted black t-shirt. You catch the glint of his gold ring while he’s engrossed in deep conversation with a blue and purple haired woman along the edge of the dance floor. As if you’re his due north or the other side of his magnet, after just seconds of being in the same room as him, his eyes collide with yours. He mouths an ‘excuse me’ at the woman without looking away from and his long legs eat up the distance between the two of you. He meets you just before the bar and immediately wraps his arms around you, one hand coming to the nape of your neck, silently guiding your forehead to his strong chest.

“What’s wrong, sweet girl?” You love how easily he can read you, but you hate that this is the second time this week that he’s seeing you like this. You know you have moments of weakness, but you don’t let anyone see that and you DEFINITELY don’t inconvenience others with your weakness.

“Hasn’t been my best day, but I really don’t want to talk about it.” You don’t want to dump all of this on him now, not when he looked so excited when you said you’d attend tonight.

“Ok, I’m here for you if you want to talk about it though. You don’t have to deal with this on your own.” His lips come to the crown of your head and you breathe him in letting his ash and leather scent break down your walls.

“I didn’t get in,” you mumble and he holds you tighter for a brief second before his hand moves to your chin and tilts up to meet your gaze.

“All of them?” he asks gently but something akin to anger flares in eyes for just a second.

“Six of them. I haven’t heard from two.” His thumb feels like heaven as it runs along your jaw.

From across the club the blue and purple haired woman, who is now on the stage, claps her hands. “Good evening, everyone! I’m Starr. If you and your brave partners could start making your way to the floor, we can get started right away!”

“Do you want to leave?” Joel says, his warm coffee and chocolate eyes dancing around yours. No one looks at you like that; no one ever asks what you want. This is one of those looks that you wish you could talk to your friends about.

“No,” you say truthfully. “I want to be here with you.”

“I wasn’t going to let you leave without me. Do you want to go somewhere else together?”

You step back and grab his hand, his fingers thread through yours as if you do this everyday, as if this is normal, and you pull him towards the floor. He stands behind you, an arm wrapped protectively around your middle, similar to how he did the first time you went through the voyeur room. Starr introduces herself and her wife and then begins explaining rope safety and terminology like rigger and rope bunny, before launching into a step by step on tying a beautiful star harness across her wifes clothed chest. The two women hand ropes to the person who will be doing the rigging and as the rope lands in Joel’s hand your pussy flutters at the realization that you’re about to become Mister Miller’s rope bunny. You knew that coming here tonight, even if it did include lying to your friends, would help you feel better. The disappointment of being rejected is slowly replaced with an excited anticipation of learning something new with a man who has done nothing but choose you since laid your eyes on each other.

Starr projects step by step instructions up on the back wall of the stage and Joel clears his throat behind you as he begins. The sound of the rope running through his hands as he folds it in half sends a shiver up your spine. You try to distract yourself by clipping your hair up and out of the way.

“Arms up,” he rasps, and places a light kiss on the soft curve of your neck as he wraps the rope around your ribcage, just below your breasts. You purposely wore a tight t-shirt and leggings tonight. If anyone asks, you’ll say you just assumed it would be easier to be in something form fitting rather than loose, but the truth is that you did some research on Shibari classes and it was recommended to wear clothing that was tight to the body. As he walks around you to make the first diagonal cross of your chest he says, “Are you sure you don’t want to talk about it?”

You lock your eyes with his as he loops back up, crossing the rope over your other shoulder and walks behind you. “Yes, at least not yet.”

“Alright,” he says softly, pulling the rope back through the first band he made. “What do you want to talk about then?”

Your daughter. Your wife. The guitars and books of lyrics. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Do you like me or do you like like me? How do you feel about an age gap romance? Your brain races with a million things you could ask, and maybe would ask on a date. However, this is anything but a date, right? A dom and sub don’t date, there are strict rules. He tells you what to do, you do it. You don’t date.

The silence between you two feels like it’s lasted forever, you flinch as you ask the first thing you can think of. “How old are you?”

“Almost forty five. It says that on my profile, sweet girl. For someone who likes research…” His voice trails off. Is he flirting?

“I refuse to look at it in case you try to pawn me off to Tommy again,” you tease. You bite your cheek to hold in all the questions you want to ask as he chuckles behind you. You lift your arms as per the next slide and he brings the rope up towards your armpit as you settle on a neutral topic. “Baseball,” you say flatly.

Joel laughs silently as he walks around your body, the rope coming across to your other armpit and he’s behind you again. “Baseball?”

“Ya, it’s America’s favourite pastime.” Joel's fingers feel warm through the fabric of your shirt as he continues to work the ropes.

“Ok, so what do you want to discuss about baseball?” He wanders in front of you again, following the instructions perfectly.

You shrug a little, lifting your arms again as you follow along with the slides. “Did you ever play?”

Starr circles around the two of you, “Great job, Joel. You ok, honey? Not too tight anywhere?”

You shake your head no and then you and Joel get lost in each other again. “Yes, I played for most of my childhood. I was pretty good too.”

You chuckle, “Why am I not surprised.”

“What?” he says, half laughing.

“Seems like Joel Miller is good at everything,” you say lightly, almost in admiration. He’s behind you again, feeding the ropes through themselves. The back looks beautifully intricate, and you can see other couples getting frustrated before either Starr or her wife comes and helps them. You continue, “Let me guess, you were like a big all-star pitcher or something?”

“No,” he answers.

“What position did you play then?” You glance down at your chest at the star shape across your chest, the rope scrapes gently on the exposed skin of your neck with the movement. It’s stunning, exactly as the demonstration and the picture. Yep, Joel Miller is good at everything.

A new voice joins your conversation, “Best first baseman the school has ever seen.”

You crane your neck over your right shoulder towards the source; Tommy. You clench your molars when you see him with Jade; the beautiful icy blonde woman that Joel had tied to his desk the first time you met him. Joel shifts uncomfortably as she flutters her lashes at him. “As I was saying,” Joel huffs in his brother's direction before turning his attention back to you. “I played first base and Tommy was the back catcher. Our mom pretty much put us in any sport she could afford to keep us out of trouble.”

“That’s kind of fascinating,” you say, looking back towards the stage and trying to get back into the safe little bubble you and Joel have created.

“I dunno about that, sweet girl.”

The combination of him using that nickname and the feeling of his fingers on your body cause another shiver to roll up your spine, and suddenly it’s just the two of you again. It’s so easy to get lost with Joel, every ounce of that fog from earlier has dissipated. He’s like the warm morning sun, chasing away all the thick haze that coated you in the darkness. “I think this is a safe nickname space only, Sweet Cheeks.”

He swats your bum gently eliciting a giggle to pass your lips before getting back to weaving the rope in and out along your spine. “Careful. Now why is it kind of fascinating?”

“I mean, Tommy played at home plate, you played at first base.”

“I don’t know where you’re going here, Freckles.”

You smile over your shoulder at Joel. “Well, don’t you see the connection? You don’t have sex with your subs, Tommy does. He goes to home plate, you stay at first base.”

Joel arches an eyebrow at you as you flash him a cheeky smile and then he lets out a laugh. A real laugh that sounds like it’s coming straight from his stomach. His big beautiful smile draws up his cheeks causing the skin around his eyes to crinkle. The sound is almost enough to make you weak at the knees. “I swear to god, Freckles, I love the way your brain works.”

The rest of the group finishes off their harnesses and Starr begins the next part, explaining now how to tie the arms around the biceps and secure them to the harness. They hand out the ropes again and you reach behind yourself to criss cross your arms and grasp your opposite elbows. Just as Joel begins folding the rope over in his hands, Jade speaks.

“She sort of hit the nail on the head with that one, Mister Miller.” Envy flares in your eyes as she steps towards Joel, leaning into him. “I can’t wait for tomorrow. I’ve missed you.”

You glance towards Joel, expecting to see him looking angry but his soft eyes meet you with guilt written all over his face. You watch his throat as he swallows hard and the happy, sparkly bubble you built bursts and the fog returns. Your heart drops to your feet, it was too good to be true, you knew it was too good to be true and he almost had you fooled. You don’t think, you just act, you need to get away from this space and all these people as bile rises in your throat.

Your feet feel heavy as you walk quickly toward the voyeur room, slipping past the closed sign that's propped up outside the curtain that conceals it. Darkness surrounds you, the rope harness feels like it’s smothering you as you try to take deep calming breaths. A flash of light from the otherside of the curtain fills the room as someone follows.

“Go away, Joel.” You say quietly, trying to force air past the lump growing in your throat.

“It’s Tommy.” He says, flicking on a dim light and noting the way you’re pulling at the rope closest to your throat. “Let me untie you so you don’t hurt yourself.”

You step back, a wall slamming down around you. Tommy raises his hands, “Please, just let me untie you so you can breathe.”

You spin slowly, giving your back to him and he approaches. His fingers pulling and working the ropes and the irony of him removing knots as you start to mentally tie yourself up in them is enough to make you nauseous. You retreat into your mind, looking for that stupid box. I fucking told you! You practically scream at the shadow you know it’s hiding in.

“Try to slow your breathing for me,” Tommy says softly as the rope begins to loosen and fall away from your body. Tonight felt too normal, too comfortable. You started to feel like maybe Joel was feeling the same way you do, but now you feel like you’ve been slapped across the face with yet another reminder that you are not enough. Six out eight universities and the man you completely misread.

“I’m so fucking stupid.” It doesn’t come out self deprecating or angrily. Just as if you’re stating a fact, similar to how you’d say you like the colour green.

“No, this is on me.” The rope falls away from your body and you step away, spinning to face Tommy. “I shouldn’t have said yes when she asked me to bring her here tonight. I assumed Joel had ended it before they were in Europe.”

“What?” You breathe out in disbelief. Even though you can see the rope in Tommy’s hands, it still feels like it’s around your throat.

You wander towards the nearest couch. All those pictures, all those flirty texts and she was there the entire time? You hear your mothers voice again, ‘You might be the smartest one in this town but the real world is going to eat you up and spit you out.’ Nothing has felt more true, especially today. Six schools rejected you, selecting smarter shinier applicants and now the same thing is happening with Joel. You knew you didn’t hold a candle to her, he wanted you to go with Tommy so he could keep her, didn’t he?

‘It’s only you.’ His desperate voice from the day in his office comes out of the shadows of your mind. But it’s not only you. If he didn’t end it with her then it’s her too. You’re constantly in competitions that you have no business being in.

“No, not ‘they’. Not like that. They were there for different things, not together,” Tommy’s voice has a hint of panic. “...I’m really fucking this night up, aren’t I?”

Just then, Joel and Jade come through the curtain. “Sweet girl….”

“No,” you say, cutting him off with a wave of your hand. You want to yell and scream and ask him what was with all that “it’s only you” bullshit.

“Baby, please, just listen to me.” Joel kneels in front of you and you stand up. His hands come to either side of the couch, keeping you there. “Please?”

You can feel his eyes on you but you keep staring straight ahead, the curtains of all the rental rooms are drawn shut. “Please just go, Joel.”

Jade steps into your line of vision and you can feel the jealousy twisting at your stomach. She’s fucking beautiful. Long icy blonde hair that looks silky to touch, slender limbs and a perfectly symmetrical face. Her make up is done to perfection, and to top it all off she was kissed by an angel in the breast department.

“I’m sorry. I left the country a few days after I saw you for your birthday celebration. I went to Germany to get married and I wasn’t coming back.” Her eyes go soft for a second as she looks down at her bare left ring finger and then back to you. “Clearly I didn’t do either of those things. I haven’t spoken to Joel and I just assumed our regular time slots still stood.”

Even without looking down, you know Joel hasn’t looked away. From the moment you met him, you’ve been able to feel his gaze on you. It’s one of the things you like so much about him, the way he looks at you. You feel warm and seen, and most importantly, safe in his gaze.

Tommy clears his throat gently and you glance his way. “Ending things with a sub is tricky. It has to be done in person. I know Joel better than anyone else, he ended things with everyone else. He’s gonna beat the shit out of me for this, but he’s crazy about you and he’s only ever looked at one other person the way he looks at you.”

“Tommy,” Jade's voice cracks as she says his name. “I think you should untie me so I can leave. I really am sorry, to all of you.”

You watch the two of them disappear back into the main area of the club before you finally allow yourself to look down at Joel. His eyes are big and soft, he looks so vulnerable. Is this real though? When you think about how easily he can slide on his dominant mask you aren’t sure what you can and can’t trust, and that’s really fucking horrible considering trust is the most important thing between a sub and dom. He could be lying, he gains blow jobs and doing whatever else he wants to your body by keeping this up.

But what does Tommy gain from telling you what he just did? Tommy has no skin in the game here.

Joel

His heart is flying wildly behind his chest, blood coursing through his ears. He never thought he was going to see Jade again. Neither of them talked about it really, but after that session that you walked in on she canceled the next one and told him she was moving to be with her fiance in Germany and was getting married. He continues to look up at you; the ever growing pinch in his neck be damned, he’s not looking away. Even at this angle you manage to take his breath away. It feels like hours have gone by when you finally speak.

“I thought it was only me,” it comes out as a whisper and immediately shatters the little bits that were left of his composure.

“It is, sweet girl. I promise you it is.”

“I want to believe you,” your voice is so calm. He doesn’t deserve you being calm right now. Or does he? You came into this very methodical. Maybe these are just sub-dom transactions to you.

“What can I do?” He says hopefully. “I’ll do anything you need, sweet girl.”

You let out a shaky breath and he can see the wall building behind your eyes, that fun goofy girl who isn’t afraid to crack a joke is slowly locking herself away. He prepares himself for you to tell him this is over, or that you need time. He reminds himself that this was always going to end in heartbreak for him, so may as well get it over with now instead of when he’s fully in love with you, before he’s learned how those warm walls of your pussy feel against his cock. Because there really will be no coming back from that if that happens.

As he tightens the muscles in his core, physically preparing for the metaphorical blow to the gut he watches your long lashes flutter shut and when you open your eyes again the wall is gone. The shimmering pools of the eyes he’s enamored by are back and relief washes over him.

“Nothing, Mister Miller,” your voice is saccharine sweet. “Trust is the most important thing between a sub and their dom. I can’t let my own anxiety ruin this, but I might just be a bit guarded until I’ve calmed all those thoughts.”

He whispers your name, biting back a groan as your hands meet his hair. “I’m so sorry that happened, baby girl.”

“I know. So am I. I shouldn’t have gotten jealous. It’s just…”

“No, you can be jealous. I told you one thing and -.”

You tug at the strands of his hair and shush him. “I’m not done,” your voice is stern. Joel isn’t used to hearing your tone like that and he suddenly feels his chest swelling with pride. This sweet bubbly person in front of him is morphing into a confident badass. That’s probably the exact tone you’ll use in boardrooms or courtrooms when other lawyers try to talk over you and he can only hope that one day he’ll get to witness that. “I shouldn’t have gotten jealous, but I really like the way I feel around you. It’s selfish of me, but I’d like to keep feeling like this for the few months I have left here before I leave for law school.”

Selfish. He lets that word wash over him. The most selfless person he’s ever known is worried about being selfish? No, he thinks, she deserves this. Hearing you say that you’re leaving makes him feel like his chest is caving in on itself. He’ll deal with the inevitable heartbreak when you leave him. He knows those rejection letters were hard on you, but he helped you to feel better and he’s going to hold on to that and give you that for as long as he possibly can.

Your fingers release his hair and he watches you walk the few steps to where the rope Tommy untied for you lays on the floor. He licks his lips as you bend to pick it up, eyes trailing over the delicious curves of your ass. “It would be my pleasure, sweetheart.”

You turn, walking back towards where he’s kneeling and holding the ropes out to him you say, “Is the workshop over?”

He stands up, his fingers grazing yours as he takes the rope. Electricity tingles up his forearms at the feel of your soft skin. Your body is so close to his that he can feel your soft warmth radiating against him. You being at this proximity immediately put him at ease.

“No, there’s a bodysuit tutorial right now,” he says. You nod, stepping around him. Suddenly, Joel grabs your elbow to stop you, lowering his lips to your ear, and lowering his voice to that gravelly tone he knows you love, he rasps, “I should punish you for letting another dom untie what’s mine.”

You smirk up at him, “I’d like to see you try, Sweet Cheeks.”

You

Joel works silently around you and you lose yourself for a bit in the events that unfolded tonight. Joel has knelt in front of you before, but never like that. The sad, helpless look in his eyes, the slight slump of the shoulders. He was submitting to you, and when your fingers met his scalp, he leaned into your touch. The way his body melted at your touch was intoxicating. He wasn’t Mister Miller in that room tonight, he was Joel, and the dichotomy of this man is astounding.

After about thirty minutes of Joel twisting, turning and pulling he has your upper half tied into a zigzagged bodysuit of rope. Joel steps in front of you and bends slightly to reach between your legs. When he brings the rope between your thighs and as he feeds it through the bottom of the chest piece, the seam of your leggings brushes against your clit. You jolt at the contact, your cheeks flushing crimson as Joel's eyes meet yours in a flash of onyx and honey. He begins shaping the bottom part of the bodysuit, bent in front of you the entire time and locking eyes with yours every time he tugs the ropes into place.

You glance nervously around the room to see if anyone else is having the same reaction. You expected this night to be fun and silly, the way a date should be. And it was for a while, but now it’s taken a very erotic turn. The blush of your cheeks warms down your chest and neck as you hold off on what could be a very vocal orgasm in front of a room of people who you don’t necessarily want to witness it.

Joel finally finishes the body suit and moves to stand behind you, his patchy facial hair brushes the shell of your ear as he whispers, his voice full of gravel, “Hands behind your back, my sweet girl. We aren’t done.”

A shiver races up your spine and your arms fly back. “So eager,” Joel says softly, grazing his teeth along the lobe of your ear, adding gasoline to the small fire that’s been building between your thighs.

You’re sure the arm restraints only take about three minutes to complete, but it feels like hours. The three knots that lay around your wrists, forearms, and biceps keep your posture nice and tall, and your breasts pushed up through the body suit. Once he’s finished, Joel spins you to face him, and that rope works its way in between the lips of your now absolutely soaked pussy. You squeeze your thighs together, the soft expression on his face only intensifying the growing ache. He’s such a fucking tease, you think, and now he’s looking at you as if you put the stars in the sky. Finally, his dark brown eyes settle on yours and he gives you a closed lip smile.

“What?” You ask breathlessly.

“I jus’ thought that I’d go all caveman seein’ you like this,” he steps into you, one hand cupping your cheek, the other tugging on the rope near your waist, which jiggles the rope that has you on edge. Joel’s voice lowers, this next part just for you to hear. “But you just look so beautiful.”

He tugs up on the rope and pleasure courses through you as you gasp quietly. He gives you that sexy smirk that makes that dimple carve into his cheek.

Yep, he’s a fucking tease. The little box says, confirming your thoughts.

“You like that, sweet girl?”

He tugs again and your forehead falls to his chest. “Please, Mister Miller,” you whisper into his expensive cotton t-shirt.

Starr interrupts the two of you, but you can’t peel yourself away from Joel right now. The slightest move of that rope might make you explode. “Well, based on that reaction I’d say you tied it just right, Joel.”

“Thank you for coming, Starr. I’m sure we’ll host one of these again soon. Tommy is by the bar, he can help you kick everyone out.”

“Joel,” she says, a slight hint of amusement in her now hushed voice. “Your rope bunny is on the verge of having an orgasm, go.”

With that he hoists you over his shoulder and walks towards the door that leads to the private rooms. “Fuckfuck, I’m gonna -” you whisper into his broad back and squeeze your thighs tighter as Joel walks.

The second the door shuts, separating you from the others Joel puts you on your feet and jiggles the rope around your waist. “Come, baby.”

You fall into him for support, his other arm wrapping around you to hold you up as stars blur your vision. “That feel good, my little rope bunny?”

“Yes - oh god, yes.” Your arms pull at the ropes restraining them behind your back and you can’t hold it anymore. Your orgasm practically slams through you as you gasp and moan into Joel's broad chest. “Fuck, Mister Miller.”

“You’re so beautiful when you let go for me. I’ll never get sick of watching you like this.” He continues to work the rope as your high crests and your legs start to go weak and boneless below you.

“I can’t…p-please Mis - Fuck.” Joel lifts your lax and quivering body over his shoulder again and makes his way to his room, placing you at the foot of the bed, spinning you and pushing between your shoulder blades until your chest meets the mattress.

“Spread your legs,” he commands and you listen, moving your feet to be shoulder width apart. He wraps two cuffs around your ankles, and attaches them to the bottom of the bed posts before doing the same to the ropes around your arms. You’re trapped, stuck bent over the end of the bed and even though you’re fully clothed under all of these ropes, this is easily the hottest thing you’ve ever done. “Fuck me. How are you so goddamn sexy even when you’re fully clothed.”

You hear Joel’s footsteps around the room, gathering whatever he has decided to use on you tonight before you can feel him behind you. “Sweet girl, I do believe I read that you would be interested in sensory deprivation. Is that correct?”

“Yes, Mister Miller,” you hum.

“Do I have your consent to blindfold you and then have you listen to music in noise canceling headphones?”

Fire erupts in your stomach, your core pulsing at the thought of him doing whatever he wants to you. “Yes, Mister Miller.”

A silky black blind fold slips over your head, Joel's large body covering your back. “What’s your safeword?” he growls, his lips brushing the shell of your ear.

“Stegosaurus.” Just once you’d like that to not leave your lips in the whiny, desperate tone it does when he asks you that question.

“Good girl,” he praises before the plush headphones cover your ears. All you see is black, all you hear is soft decorative piano music, and all you feel is the warmth of Joel over your buzzing skin. There’s not a single thought in your mind, everything is silent. This is what you need and you start to worry that you’ll become addicted to the way Joel makes you feel everything while thinking nothing.

The warmth of his body disappears from you and you whimper at the loss. Your eyes clench closed as if that will help you be able to find him. A thin, pulsing vibrator hits the back of your thigh and you jump. Joel's large hands rubs your opposite hip and every muscle relaxes under his touch. The vibrator pulses softly as he moves it up your thigh, tickling along your hip, and then down the other leg. You can’t hear the sounds that you’re making but you’re sure they’re desperate, needy gasps.

After teasing your arms Joel slips something small and hard between your body and the rope that’s been torturously teasing at your clit before you feel him pull away. You adjust so your forehead is resting on the mattress before it dips with the weight of him sitting beside your head. His warm fingers wrap around your neck and he kneads the muscles.

“Mmmm, thank you Mister Miller,” you hum.

Whatever Joel slipped against your clit comes to life, a dull vibration that is sure to be your undoing has you attempting to arch your back, but you can’t move. Your breathing quickens, short little puffs of air passing your lips.

“I’m gonna come,” you murmur quietly, or at least you think it’s quiet since you can’t hear yourself or anything else. Joel’s strong fingers continue the delicious swirling patterns up and down the sides of your neck as you begin to shake. “Oh god - I’m so close!”

Just as you’re about to slam head first into another orgasm the vibrating stops and Joel’s fingers disappear from your skin. “No,” and this time you know it wasn’t a whisper or a whimper.

The mattress jostles and then you feel Joel behind you again. A hand comes to one of yours, coaxing it out of the fist you’ve apparently clenched before doing the same to the other. The vibrating starts stronger this time and both his hands come to yours, his thumbs massaging at your palms. It doesn’t take long this time before you’re right on that edge again.

“Fuck, Mister Miller. Puh-please don’t stop!” Your legs start the familiar shake that happens right when you’re about to tip over the edge and he doesn’t follow your wishes. The hand massage stops, quickly followed by the vibrator being switched off. You groan in frustration and he lays a quick, sharp spank over your legging clad right ass cheek. “Hnnng - sorry.”

You can’t be certain, but based on the warm puffs hitting your core you’re pretty sure he’s knelt down behind you. The vibrator comes to life again, stronger than the last two times and his hands work at massaging the muscles along the back of your thighs. This is torture; wonderful euphoric torture and as much as you want it end, you also don’t ever want him to stop making you feel this way.

You let your eyes flutter open behind the blindfold, it’s still just as dark but you see that little pink sparkly box. The one that’s overflowing with emotion for Joel. You should push it back into the shadows or light it on fire, but instead you let it come out of the shadows completely. You see your hands reaching for the lid just as the white hot pleasure in your core gets close to the breaking point.

“Please please…Mister Miller - fuck!” You whimper and whine as it begins to burn hotter and then it’s gone and it feels like the air is being sucked forcefully out of your lungs.

“Nonono, I can’t. Please, I need you..” Joel's large body is across your back in a second. The hard bulge in pants pressing against your ass and the memory of how good he felt and tasted in your mouth the last time has saliva pooling under your tongue. You swallow hard as one of the padded ear pieces is lifted from your ear.

Joel’s voice is deep and gruff as he says, “What do you need, my sweet girl?”

The little box of feelings vibrates at him calling you his and you kick it back into the shadows. “I need to come, Mister Miller.”

“That right? How bad?” He says teasingly before placing a feather light kiss on that sensitive spot right below your ear.

“So bad. Please, it hurts, Mister Miller.” You are pouting into the fluffy sheets, a completely whiny mess, and you realize that you’re always a mess for him. Be it a horny or depraved one, a whiny or a pouty one, he doesn’t care and if anything you think he likes it that way, likes you that way. “I want to hear you. I miss your dirty talk, please, baby!”

“Fuck,” he breathes. “I should spank you until you can’t sit tomorrow for calling me anything but Mister Miller. You know that, right?”

“I can’t think straight. I’m sorry, just please. Please!”

He whips the headphones off of you and the vibrator hits at an intensity you have never felt before. Your pornographic scream fills the room. His large body above yours intensifies everything that was already killing you.

“That what you need, huh?”

You cry out and try to say yes but you’re sure it’s all just an incoherent mix of sounds at this point.

“God damn, baby girl. You should see yourself right now. All tied up in knots that I made. The way your leggings hug the curves of your hips and soft, creamy thighs. You’re going to be the death of me one day.”

Tears start to flow behind your blindfold as the pleasure almost becomes too much, you haven’t come yet, and at this point you aren’t sure if you’ll survive it if you do. You have half a mind to ask Joel if an orgasm can physically split you in two because that is how you feel right now.

“I’m - oh god - I’m…” You try to form the words but you can’t.

One of Joel’s hands slips between his front and your tied up arms, his hand wrapping tightly around yours. His lips come to your ear as whispers. “I got you, sweet girl, just let go for me.”

“Need to see you,” you say between gasps of air and the pleasure begins to burn in your.

Joel peels the blind fold off. You blink him into focus, his warm eyes searching your face. “Let go, you’re ok.”

As per usual, it’s his words that seem to be that final push and you let your orgasm consume you. It starts as a cold spark, a shiver up your spine and then heat flushes through every since cell in your body. You moan and writhe beneath Joel who whispers your praises like a prayer. Talking you through the intensity of the feeling. Your pussy clenches around nothing and you’re sure your panties, leggings and the rope are ruined.

“I can’t!” You gasp and Joel slows the vibration to help you ride out the decresendo of your orgasm. As the jolts of your body slow, he follows suit; the vibrator going to a dull blip and eventually nothing. Joel's thumb traces soothing patterns on the hand he’s still holding between your bodies. You take a deep and shaky breath, trying to calm your racing heart.

“Are you ok, angel?” he asks quietly and goosebumps somehow spread along your too hot body.

“Better than ok,” you say with a small smile.

Joel’s lips meet yours, soft and pliant and so full of passion. Your eyes shut as you part your lips for him and when your tongue strokes gently against his he lets out a small whimper that causes your pulse to leap. Mentally, you grab a bigger box, stuffing it with the realization that you’re falling for this man. But you will deal with that later, right now you just need to let yourself have something that is for, well… yourself.

Joel

He breaks the kiss, even though he doesn’t want to. Even though he knows that by breaking this kiss it’s only going to mean you going home sooner. “I need to get you out of these ropes and get some sugar into you.”

The two of you sit in a comfortable silence as his nimble fingers work to undo your restraints, then the intricate knots that bind your arms, and lastly the bodysuit. He really did think you looked stunning all tied up. He didn’t plan for this night to go the way it did, but when he saw the slight flush of your cheeks and the way your eyes glazed over he couldn’t resist giving you what he knew you needed. He stays close, one hand protectively on your hip as you crawl onto the bed. Once he has you seated, he pulls a fuzzy grey blanket out from a basket beside the night stand and then opens the small fridge to grab you an orange juice and water.

He cracks the top of the orange juice. “Drink this for me, please.”

He watches your eyes do a quick half roll but you don’t fight him, fingers just barely grazing his as you take the juice from him. “I had fun tonight,” you say between sips as he walks to grab the coconut oil.

Joel stands beside you. “So did I, sweetheart. Arm, please.”

You take the orange juice in your left hand and give him your right. Both of you watch as he puts oil on the few pink marks the ropes left behind. “Do you think I should change my safeword?”

He lifts one eyebrow at you and as he tends to your other arm says, “Why do you ask that.”

“I don’t know. It’s just…well, originally that little dinosaur on your coffee maker seemed so out of place. It intrigued me. Your home is beautiful, but the parts you let people see don’t give away any hints about you, except for that little dinosaur. But now that I know the whole story, it just seems too special of an item to be tied to what we do.”

“I don’t think we need to change it. You’re right, that little stegosaurus is special to me.” He sits sideways on the bed, grabbing the empty orange juice container and handing you the water. His jaw flexes once before he continues, “But so are you. I love that you felt a connection to that part of me. Ultimately, it’s your safe word, sweet girl, so you can make it anything you want, but I think it’s perfect for us.”

The soft look in your eyes as he speaks is almost enough to kill him, and when your lips twitch up ever so slightly at his words he knows he’s done for. He shouldn’t fall for you, especially since he’s sure there’s no way you’d ever feel the same way, but he can’t not fall for you.

Your name passes his lips with a nervous tremble, because he knows that what he’s about to say next is going to be his undoing. If you say yes to this next thing, if he continues spending actual time with you, he’s done.

“Ya?” you say before sucking your bottom lip through your teeth.

“Friday night is the five year anniversary party for the club. It’s a black tie event for all the VIP guests. Would you like to accompany me?”

He watches as your eyes land on your lap, your lips pressing together as if to suppress a smile. When your gaze floats back up to his, your eyes give you away. Try as you might to hide your expressions with him; he'll always know when you’re happy based on the glitter of your eyes.

“I’d really like that, Mister Miller.”

His forehead meets yours. “This might be a Sweet Cheeks moment.”

Thank you soooo much for reading! Remember to follow @mountainsandmayhem-updates for future chapters xo.

Next Chapter

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lincolndjarin · 2 years ago

Text

Best Kept Secret ☆

A MANDALORIAN SERIES MASTERLIST

[ COMPLETED ]

✩ a bodyguard!din x princess!reader fic ✩

series summary :

Married off to a prince on a planet that you hate? New husband doesn't know you, and doesn't want to know you? New husband gifts you a personal Mandalorian body guard as a wedding present? Mandalorian is a wiseass who won't leave you alone? Lucky you.

18+ mdni

do you like kitschy, campy romance novels? if you're reading this, I hope so.

behind the scenes & chapter notes + other extras (spoilers) :

chapters 1-5

chapter 6-15

spotify playlists

Lysa & Elaine information

the bks screen adaption

bks q&a

bks what if's

reader is generally not described past being picked up a few times, and having hair long enough to be put up

✩ chapters containing smut!

chapter one : honeymoon (6.7k words)

[ Absurd.

That is the only word that comes to mind as you stare at yourself in the mirror. “His favorite color is blue.” ]

chapter two : silent treatment (7.4k words)

[ Something is wrong. You bolt up from the pile of blankets that you call a bed and your eyes dart around the closet as you furrow your brow trying to discern why you feel so much different. ]

✩ chapter three : the smitten paladin (4.6k words)

[ You’re starting to think the planet isn’t the reason you’re so hot all the time.

You had woken up this morning feeling a bit better than you thought you’d be, your stomach is full of butterflies but you're still standing and considering the night you had you’re gonna take that as a win. ]

chapter four : sarad'ika (6.8k words)

[ Sarad'ika.

You won’t forget it this time, you can’t. So you write it in your book, just under Mando’s favorite color you write the two little words that have been keeping you up at night. ]

✩ chapter five : lunar interlude : just a man (5.0k words)

[ Absurd.

It’s absurd how much the job pays. Din’s not even sure he should take it at this point because it’s too good to be true. ]

✩ chapter six : torment (5.1k words)

[ Okay, maybe you didn’t think this through.

You didn’t think he’d actually come in and now suddenly the door is shut and you’re alone with him. ]

✩ chapter seven : just friends (3.1k words)

[ Maker it feels like it’s been an hour and you’re both just laying here. He was just inside of you; it shouldn't be so hard to find something to talk about at this point. ]

chapter eight : solar markets (5.3k words)

[ It’s nice to wake up excited again.

You wish you could say that it happened more often but hopefully it will from now on. It’s going to be your first time leaving the castle grounds since you got here. ]

✩ chapter nine : shuk'la rules (5.6k words)

[ You need sex.

Normally you would be satisfied for quite some time after getting off but for some reason with Mando it was different. But it’s only been two days and you need more. ]

✩ chapter ten : lunar interlude : briikase gote'tuur (4.1k words)

[ He’s grateful for the break from you, even if brief.

That’s not to say that he doesn’t enjoy every moment he gets to be in your presence but the more time he spends with you the harder it gets to remember that this isn’t real. ]

chapter eleven : he loves me not (4.6k words)

[ Something is wrong.

All day it’s been wrong.

He’s different. Distant. ]

chapter twelve : pretend (4.4k words )

[ Two days.

That’s what you’re willing to give yourself. Two days to get over it. One to get it all out of your system and one to pull yourself together. ]

chapter thirteen : lunar interlude : vercopa (3.5k words)

[ He did it.

He did exactly what he knew he needed to do.

So why does he feel worse than ever? ]

chapter fourteen : condemned (4.9k words)

[ You’re having trouble sleeping.

You have no problem falling asleep, it’s mostly staying asleep. There’s a million different things that consume your thoughts and everytime you drift into unconsciousness you find yourself jolting awake, barely able to stay asleep for more than an hour at a time. ]

chapter fifteen : two tea parties (5.4k words)

[ “What did you do to her?”

Her voice breaks through his sleepy haze as he sits up properly.

“Excuse me?” ]

chapter sixteen : absolution (4.6k words)

[ There’s a visceral sense of dread when you wake up, for several reasons.

The glaring obvious culprit of your discomfort would be the fact that today’s your husband's birthday. ]

chapter seventeen : the apostate’s cabin (3.5k words)

[ Just Din.

It’s sinking in as you walk in silence, holding his hand tightly as he pulls you towards his home. ]

chapter eighteen : portrait of a man (5.4k words)

[ It’s deliciously warm when you wake. You can feel his heartbeat and you can feel the soft traces of sunlight dancing along your back. You stretch in his arms slightly but freeze up as you feel him nuzzle his chin into your hair, planting a kiss against your hairline. ]

✩ chapter nineteen : reverence (7.3k words)

[ You really want to.

You couldn’t possibly want to more than you currently do.

It’s actually a bit mean. That he’s left you here in this state. ]

✩ chapter twenty : like real people do (8.4k words)

[ Mando and Din.

All you can think about right now is how there must be two of them.

You’re playing with his curls. ]

✩ chapter twenty one : te mirci't (9.0k words)

[ “It means I love you.”

You aren’t entirely sure how long you stare at him, looking rather silly with your jaw practically on the floor. ]

✩ chapter twenty two : it’s you that i lie with (11.3k words)

[ Naboo has several trading ports.

You could get him on a cargo ship. That would be the most inconspicuous form of transport. It would help if he was willing to ditch his armor. ]

✩ chapter twenty three : lunar markets (15.0k words)

[ Sneaking out of the castle gets easier every time you do it.

It only takes a few minutes and you’re walking outside towards the forest trail, Din’s hand in yours, still giddy. ]

✩ chapter twenty four : lunar interlude : riduur (7.8k words)

[ He doesn’t deserve this.

How could he possibly be deserving of you? Yet somehow you make him feel as if he is. With your soft touch and the way your eyes get just a little bigger when you see him. ]

✩ chapter twenty five : wedding bells (11.7k words)

[ Four days of Leo.

You were upset that Din was leaving you but you got over it rather quickly with the promise of his hasty return. ]

chapter twenty six : crucifixion (12.7k words)

[ “My room is too big.”

He bursts into genuine peals of laughter and you gently smack his arm.

“Don’t laugh, it’s a serious issue! My room is enormous.” ]

chapter twenty seven : the apostate (6.0k words)

[ Silence.

That’s all there is in his brain.

It’s hard enough as is for him to hear. It doesn’t help when he’s been beaten half to death. ]

✩ chapter twenty eight : a place for us (8.4k words)

[ You’d spent the better half of the day trying to get on top of him.

Every time you managed to get close he’d simply set you down on the nearest surface with a kiss on the cheek and go back to doing whatever he was working on. ]

chapter twenty nine : the best kept secret (epilogue) (6.1k words)

[ The morning sun is warm against your face, you bask in it, unmoving and only half awake until you feel a tiny hand slapping your cheek. The illusion of tranquility is immediately shattered as you softly laugh. ]

3K notes · View notes

tag-if · 2 years ago

Text

THE ADVISOR'S GAME ;

[DEMO]

You are an assassin, a professional, a contract killer. The pay is good, and your clientele are more than happy to keep your identity well under wraps. You take whatever work comes your way, and you don't ask questions.

Until.

An anonymous job offer. An envelope with cash, an image of your target with surprisingly crisp quality, and a non-descript note, left on the doorstep of your home.

'Kill the eldest royal for the other half of your pay.'

That's how you ended up here. Undercover in the royal palace. As the newly appointed royal advisor.

---

Are you a bloodthirsty killer, or do you kill out of pure necessity? Do you want to fish around for your mysterious employer, or do you want to live in blissful ignorance?

Make or break alliances, and maybe (reluctantly) fall for someone, as you navigate the intricacies of royal life, all while trying to figure out exactly why you were sent on such a risky job (and by who).

Do try not to get fired, and good luck. ★

"The Advisor's Game" is an 18+ (for mentions of death/violence, non-descript gore, etc.) mystery-romance, with 5 (subject to change) gender-selectable romance options, as well as cast of characters to befriend or antagonise.

[note; one RO will be gender-locked non-binary, however all ROs will be romanceable by any gender of MC]

NSFW TAG (to block, if wanted); a palace scandal

[more under the cut]

ROMANCE OPTIONS;

[AGES]

A. Bellefleur ; Aleron - Alize / the crown royal (your target) / m/f

The (supposedly) well-loved eldest child to the reigning monarchs, they appear in public regularly and often participate in council meetings— clearly someone takes issue with this...probably.

A. has lightly freckled ivory skin and grey-blue eyes, in similar fashion to their siblings. Their hair is a dark-ish auburn and messily cut to the top of their ears (fem A. has it similarly messy, however it falls to their chin in choppy waves)

[neutral to friends (to lovers) ; neutral to disliked ; neutral to respected] ★

K. Valiev ; Kostya - Katja / the head guard / m/f

An odd figure, unassuming, almost strangely approachable. They are quiet, and kind, and always smiling...so why do the older guards seem terrified of them?

K. is an olive skinned individual with a small scar running up over the right side of the jaw, and their eyes are dark brown. Their hair is a chestnut brown and is kept in tight curls, though they occasionally braid them (when they have time).

[friends to lovers ; neutral to friends (to lovers) ; friends/neutral to disliked] ★

A. Caras ; Altair - Arali / the royal physician / m/f

Their bedside manner leaves much to be desired, they are no nonsense to the point of being borderline rude, yet the whole palace sings their praise as though they are an angel (you don't see it, personally, but maybe you will eventually).

A. is an individual with vitiligo, leaving patches of their naturally sienna skin instead a pale ivory, as well as whitening some strands of their fringe. Their eyes are a bright green, and their honey blond curls are kept short (fem A. has longer curls, around chest length, that she keeps up in a ponytail for work).

[neutral to respected ; neutral to disliked ; neutral to friends (to lovers)] ★

T. Bellefleur ; Talbot - Tallis / the middle royal / m/f

The younger, but not youngest, sibling to the crown royal. They don't like you much (then again they don't like many people much), but you're not sure about that knowing glint in their eye when you interact— what do they see in you?

T. has heavily freckled beige skin and almost eerily pale blue eyes. Their hair is a fiery auburn and cut into a messy undercut (fem T. has shoulder length hair, covering an undercut at the back).

[enemies? to friends (to lovers) ; enemies? to respected] ★

M. Serrel ; Marin / your fellow assassin / nb

You had to do a double-take when you saw them, and so did they, it seemed someone wanted you two in the palace at the same time...but why?

Marin is a sienna skinned individual, with hazel eyes (on the greener side) and almost black-brown hair. Their hair just brushes their shoulders in length and falls in soft waves, though they quite often have it pulled into a half up bun/ponytail.

[rivals to friends (to lovers) ; friends (to lovers) ; friends to rivals ; friends to friends with benefits (to lovers)] ★

NOTE; for all romances MC must befriend the RO of their choice first, otherwise they won't consider anything beyond some light flirting. Additionally, in the case of A. Caras and T. Bellefleur, the romances will be slower burn (especially Caras).

#interactive fiction #twine game #twine if #twine wip #current wip #if game #masterpost #if intro #tag-if #the advisor's game

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jessjad · 6 months ago

Text

Rightfully deceived

Chapter 5

Summary: When a marriage promise forces Y/N to step up for her younger sister, she gets something she always wanted. But when the truth comes out, her new husband Dean is not so happy about the mix-up. Will she loose it all? Or will she be surprised in the end?

Pairing: AU!Dean Winchester x Reader

Word Count: 5355 (Sorry! 🙈)

Warnings: 18+ only!!! arranged marriage, some tension, angst, perilous situation, smut

A/N: This is a long one, guys. But I didn't want to split it up again. All mistakes are mine! Enjoy!

Series Masterlist My Masterlist

Running down the stairs Y/N saw Millie standing at the bottom who called after her, but she could not stop. She told her that she needed a minute and kept running out of the castle. She did not care about the looks from the others as she ran towards the staples. But she did not stop there.

Benny called after her, Sam too who stood next to him, but Y/N gave them no reaction. After she left the stable behind her, she just kept running. Up the next hill as far as her feet would take her and until the castle was no longer visible. Y/N first stopped again at a small group of trees where she could hide inside. She needed time to think and just wanted to be alone. At least for a little while.

Here, her tears could fall freely and her heart could break. Another crack breaking the smooth red surface. She just didn't know what to do anymore. Dean wasn't on her side. No, he preferred another woman. And of course she understood his anger, but it had been over two months now. He should slowly get used to it or at least try to understand her side. It wasn't easy for Y/N either.

The fact that she loved Dean didn't make it any easier. His distance and that cold shoulder hit her hard. It could be so easy, if only he saw her as more than the woman who had robbed him of his happiness. He didn't mention Helena anymore, but sometimes she had the feeling that he looked at her and saw her sister's face.

Maybe she should just walk away, pack her things and disappear. Unfortunately it wasn't that easy. She had no money of her own and there was no question of her taking Dean's money. And she couldn't and didn't want to go back to her father. She missed her clan and the life she was used to for so long, but she actually wanted to start over here with Dean. She loved him and that was the problem. Deep down, she just couldn't leave him. She was hopelessly lost.

A cool wind rushed through the branches and leaves, swirling the fabric of her dress. If only she had grabbed a coat. She found a moss-covered spot near the roots of a large tree, where she sat down and leaned her back against the trunk. She wasn't ready to go back yet.

Dean had just stared after Y/N before the anger caused him to sweep his desk empty with his arm and knock any objects onto the floor. He took a few deep breaths before took to his heels and ran after her. At the bottom of the stairs, Millie was standing exactly as he had left her before.

"Where is she?" he asked and Millie pointed a finger to the door.

"She went out."

So Dean made his way towards the entrance of his castle, but Millie hold him back.

"Dean, wait!" she lightly grabbed his arm to stop him. "Don't go after her. At least not right now."

"What?" his brows furrowed. "But I need to talk to her."

"I know her, Dean, believe me. She was so upset... give her some time to calm down. No matter what you said to her now, she would take it the wrong way."

"I... I don't like that. I should talk to her right now. There was a misunderstanding that needs to be cleared up."

And by that he meant the last sentence that slipped out of his mouth. He shouldn't have said that and he had to clarify that. But he also had to clarify other things. Y/N's words had made him think and he had realized that his behavior towards her simply wasn't fair. However, he had been staying away from her for different reasons than she probably assumed.

"What happened up there?" MIllie asked.

Just as Dean was about to tell him about the package, the door opened and Benny and Sam walked in. So the two men were also brought up to date and then Dean expressed Y/N's suspicion that it was Cassie. Sam and Benny exchanged a look that didn't go unnoticed by Dean and Millie looked down so as not to reveal that she knew about this assumption.

"What? You already knew about it?" he asked incredulously.

"Dean..." Sam started. "Cassie always wanted to marry you."

"So what? That's her motive? She knew that I was going to marry someone else."

"Yeah, but she was not happy when she heared that Y/N is not the right woman." Benny said.

"I mean... you only need to look how she behaves infront of you." Sam pointed out.

"And how she behaves towards Y/N. She makes it pretty clear that she is not happy that Y/N is here."

Well, that were news to Dean. But on the other hand, he had been gone for a while. He had never noticed that Cassie avoided Y/N like that. No matter who he saw Y/N with, they all seemed to like her now and she seemed to get along with everyone. She fit the bill really well.

"Okay. This is not happening. Not under my watch." Dean said and made his way back up the stairs. "Call everyone into the dining hall!" He had to do something.

Fifteen minutes later all the clan members were gathered around the large table, at the head of which Dean stood, the package in his hand. A murmur went through the crowd as no one could really explain what the problem was. Dean looked around and saw Jo and Alex standing with Cassie. Benny was standing near the door and Sam was across the room from him. Millie had fought her way to Jo without Cassie or Alex noticing her.

"When I came back from my business trip today, I actually had the impression that everything was fine. But then Y/N found this in our bedroom." and with a thud he dropped the package onto the table after removing the lid.

The severed cat's head almost fell out of the box, causing shocked exclamations among those present.

"This is a threat that should go to Y/N. But this threat also goes to me and I cannot and will not accept that. Y/N is now my wife and I had the impression that you all received her well But apparently I was wrong."

An incomprehensible murmur now went through the crowd, accompanied by the underlying question of who could do such a thing. Dean observed the reactions of the different people, but couldn't notice anything unusual, not even with Cassie.

"So that's how it's going to go here now." Dean raised his voice a little so that everyone would really listen to him. "Whoever did it has the opportunity to own up to it and admit it now. However, if that person doesn't speak up and I find out who it was...then God have mercy on him."

It was slowly getting dark and the temperature had dropped noticeably, but Y/N still couldn't go back. She had seen Sam and Dean riding horses across the countryside, calling out to her. She could also hear Benny, who was probably looking for her somewhere near the stables. Still, she couldn't reveal herself.

If Dean confronted her now, she would probably pour her heart out to him. She had noticed one thing in the last few hours. Her nerves were pretty thin and she wouldn't be able to handle any further rejection of her confession. She still hadn't completely calmed down. So she would now wait until the men gave up their search for the day and then sneak into Arrow's stable.

It took a few hours until Y/N felt safe enough to head back. By now it was pitch black and the cold was now creeping into her bones. Even though she was probably no longer visible, she walked slowly and deliberately. Always keeping an eye on the castle and its surroundings while she ducked again and again.

A lantern was burning in the stable and the candle wouldn't last much longer. However, it still provided enough light for Y/N to find the right box. As soon as Arrow recognized her, he whinnied happily and raised and lowered his head. She immediately tried to calm him down so that he wouldn't give her position away. However, that took a few moments.

"Oh Arrow. What am I supposed to do?"

The horse pushed Y/N's head closer to him as soon as the young woman stood in the box with him. As if he understood her words and recognized that she was struggling inside. She hugged him back, enjoying the feeling of safety and familiarity in that moment.

"That came from the stable! I think it was Arrow!"

Suddenly she heard Benny's voice, which seemed to come from the castle. But he wasn't alone.

"I'll take a look!" Alex called back, seemingly closer.

Oh no, she didn't want to be discovered yet. But after looking around and not really finding a place to hide, Y/N went to the end of the box, sat on the floor and piled the hay up above her. She tried to hide under it as best she could and just hoped she wouldn't be noticed.

Then she heard footsteps coming towards her. She could still see a little through the pile of hay above her head and at some point she saw Alex's legs and how he was walking through the stable. He stopped briefly at Arrow, spoke a few words to him and then went out again.

"She is not here. Everything looks normal." Alex stated as he seemed to walk back to the castle.

Relief flooded through Y/N and she was able to release the breath she had previously been holding. Quietly and carefully, she dug herself out of the hay again. The candle in the lantern barely gave off any light now. Arrow came over and sat down next to her, resting his head on her lap. Y/N also leaned into him a little.

"Just a little longer." She whispered while petting Arrow. "I'll just stay with you a little longer and then I'll go back."

Dean paced around the bedroom. It was already the middle of the night and Y/N still hadn't returned. A bad feeling slowly began to spread within him. After all, it was his fault that it had gotten this far. He had scared her away and made her feel like running away was the only solution. His absence and the silence with which he had punished her had been too much.

And yes, he now knew that he had unconsciously punished Y/N with his behavior. He hadn't married the woman he wanted and in a way Y/N was to blame. But that wasn't really why he had acted like that. Because now he also knew that there was an even more confusing reason for him. He stopped in front of the window and looked out into the cold, dark night.

Back then he had already imagined everything in his head. What the wedding with Helena would be like, their life afterwards here in his castle. What the next five years could have been like. The first child, then the second. For a long time these had just been fantasies for him, but after he got to know Helena, he could easily imagine that the fantasies could be true. He had really had feelings for the young woman.

But then the wedding night was over and in the next morning came disillusionment. He hadn't married Helena, but Y/N. That really threw him off track. And yet there were parallels between him and his wife. That's why he took her with him. And actually he had planned to just see how it goes. It was just the way it was now.

But the journey back to the castle alone had been a challenge. As soon as Y/N sat in front of him, his penis began to stir again. Her soft, round ass against his hips, the scent that wafted from her hair into his nose, had inevitably brought back the images of their night together.

And from then on, every night had been difficult for him. Every minute he had been alone with Y/N he had had to pull himself together. So often his fingers had itched to hold her in his arms or even kiss her. But he wasn't sure if she would have wanted that. After all, she had married him out of necessity and not because she wanted to.

So he went on business trips. But the distance didn't make things any better. When he lay in bed at night and let his thoughts wander, he always saw Y/N in front of him. He thought of her, of the things she had told him and of their night together. She had really caught him off guard and made him long for her. How crazy was all that?

He couldn't stay in the room any longer. With his coat in hand, he made his way back downstairs. The castle lay still and quiet, peaceful, as if nothing had happened. He opened the door and stood on the stairs, his gaze turned back to the dark landscape. His wife was out there somewhere and he was just hoping she would come back so he could talk to her and explain himself. So he could finally do it right.

"Dean?"

Slightly startled, Dean turned to the voice and recognized Ellen, who was standing in front of the kitchen with a candle in her hand and looking at him in surprise.

"What are you doing here?" she asked and came over to him.

"Y/N is still out there somewhere. She still hasn't come back." his gaze turned back.

"But she will come back eventually. She probably just needed time. After what you told me, Dean... you really made a mistake."

"I know!" he exclaimed angry at himself. "But I'm hoping it's not to late now."

Ellen didn't say anything else, but her heart ached a little for Dean. She was also worried about Y/N and hoped that she would show up again soon. She placed a warm hand on Dean's shoulder, showing him her silent support. After a few minutes, however, she broke the silence again.

"Has anyone come forward about the allegations yet?"

"No. And it looks like noone will either."

"She was really on edge last week. Whoever followed her had made her feel really uneasy."

"You also knew about it?" Dean asked surprised.

"Yes. She told me about it."

"Did she also tell you that she that she suspected Cassie?"

"No. But that does not surprise me." Dean looked at Ellen questioningly and she smiled a little. "Have you ever seen how she looks at you? She's jealous. And she's ignoring Y/N since the moment she came here. It would make sense."

With that Ellen was right, but he could hear a 'but' in her sentence. So he asked he to explain.

"when you called the meeting this afternoon and showed us what it was about, Jo overheard Cassie talking to Alex."

"And?" Dean now was eager to know.

"She wasn't as shocked as everyone else about the contents of the box, but she was probably still surprised. And then she said to Alex that she thought the act was good and that it was a shame that she hadn't thought of it herself."

"So she indirectly admitted that it wasn't her... And Jo believes her?"

"Yes. And I believe that too, by the way." now Dean looked surprised and Ellen explained her statement. "She once helped me in the kitchen and was supposed to pluck a chicken. She almost vomited. And the animal was already dead."

"So she couldn't have killed the cat." Dean mused.

"No. Not her. Unless she had an accomplice. But I believe Jo that it wasn't Cassie. My daughter has known her longer than I have."

That made sense in Dean's eyes. "But who was it then?"

"That's exactly the question, Dean. Who did it?"

Early the next morning Benny made his way to the stable. He hadn't been able to find any real peace either. So he wanted to check on Arrow. The sky slowly became brighter, making last night's frost glitter like stars. It had been the coldest night yet. He lit the lanterns and then ran the boxes. Everything seemed quiet, but when he glanced into Arrow's box, he had to do a double take.

There, right next to Arrow in the hay, lay Y/N and she was pretty pale. Benny walked straight towards her, which startled the horse, but it remained calm on the ground. Upon closer inspection, Benny saw that Y/N had sweat on her forehead and her lips were blue.

He didn't have to think about it for long. Benny lifted her out of the hay into his arms and made his way to the castle. She urgently needed to get somewhere warm and Dean needed to know about it too. He hadn't left the stable when Alex stood in front of him, looking quite frightened.

"Go call Dean. Tell him I found Y/N and that she needs help." Benny ordered, but Alex didn't seem to be able to move. "GO!"

Suddenly the young man came back to life and turned around to run back into the castle. Benny also hurried to get there while speaking quietly to the woman in his arms. He noticed how she was shaking and the cold radiating from her body worried him deeply.

He was just walking in the door when Dean appeared in front of him and took Y/N into his arms. But the two were not alone. Apparently Alex had woken up half the castle.

"Benny, ride off and bring the doctor here immediately! Don't take any detours and if he refuses, then tell him that money doesn't matter!" Dean called over his shoulder as he hurried up the stairs with Y/N.

Millie followed Dean straight up the stairs and opened the bedroom door for him when they reached the top. After they entered, Millie pulled back the covers so Dean could lay Y/N there and tuck her right back in.

"Millie, can you please get a few more blankets from the guest rooms? I'll light the fire in the meantime so that it gets warm in here."

"Of course." Milllie said and set off straight away.

After Millie disappeared from the room, Dean looked down at Y/N. Her face was so pale that her blue lips formed a shocking contrast. God, this was all his fault. Just because he once again spoke first before he could think about his words. So he did something useful and started the fire in the fireplace.

Still, it took over an hour for Benny to get back. Only he didn't have the doctor with him, but someone else. A thin man with dark skin sat on another horse. Not as dark as Cassie's skin, but different nonetheless. He wore a turban on his head.

“Doctor MacGregor wasn’t home. He was called to an emergency in Dundreggan last night. But his guest from India is also a doctor." Benny pointed to the man next to him and introduced him. "This is Mr. Gupta. He's an... ajurwedish doctor. Correct?"

"Yes." the man said with an strong accent. "And I'm here to help. If you're willing to let me."

For a moment Dean was skeptical, but then he remembered that every second counted. And so he gave the man his hand and explained the situation to him as they made their way up to Y/N. He saw the concerned and puzzled looks from some of the others they passed, but he ignored them.

Mr. Gupta examined Y/N thoroughly, explaining every step and his findings to Dean. They had already done the right thing by wrapping her up warm and heating the room well, but that wouldn't be enough.

"She is hypothermic. Her body temperature is already in the critical range. Under no circumstances should the room lose heat. At some point she will try to free herself from the blankets, but that must not happen either."

Meanwhile, Millie was back in the room and she and Dean took in all the information and agreed on care for Y/N in the next few days.

"In addition, I will prepare a decoction and a warming paste for her. If used regularly, her condition should improve in the next week. But it will take time."

But Dean didn't care. The main thing is that Y/N would feel better soon. He wouldn't lose her like this. That was out of the question.

Y/N felt weird. She felt hot and cold at the same time, her head was pounding and she was shaking. She noticed noises but couldn't identify them. In general, she didn't know whether she was dreaming or awake.

Whenever she tried to free herself from the sea of blankets under which she felt buried and was sweating from the heat, Dean's face appeared above her, encouraging her to stay under the blankets.

Other times, when the cold made her shiver and she felt the blankets being pulled away, she tried to bury herself under them again. But even then Dean's face appeared, reassuring her that it wouldn't take long as he caressed her. But when he stopped, these parts of his body became really warm and drove away the cold.

And sometimes she had a terrible spicy taste in her mouth that made her thirsty. Then Millie was with her to help her drink. Or were those just dreams too? She simply couldn't tell the difference and so she always hoped that her consciousness would just slip back into the silent nothingness where she could no longer feel anything.

The next time Y/N woke up she felt different. More awake with a clearer mind. She was still cold, but she finally felt like herself again. And she realized that this wasn't a dream. She was really awake. With tired limbs, she moved slowly and moaned slightly.

"Y/N? Y/N!" She heard Dean's excited voice and searched for him with her eyes once she got used to the brightness.

"How are you? Do you need anything?" suddenly he was at her side, holding her hand.

"No, I... I'm fine. I'm just... a little tired and I'm still a little cold." She said quietly, wondering what even happened.

But it didn't take long for the memories to catch up with her again. She didn't go back the night after she escaped. She had fallen asleep at Arrow's side and had lain in the freezing stable all night. It had been her own fault.

She saw Dean take a deep breath and close his eyes briefly before speaking again. "Stay there. I'll call Millie and the doctor." and then he disappeared through the door.

Half an hour later, Dean made his way outside and walked over to Sam, who was chopping firewood. With a firm step he ran towards his brother, who looked at him worriedly after noticing him. Sam put down the axe.

"Dean? Is everything okay?"

"Yes. Yes, everything is fine." answered the older man, took the ax in his hand and began to boldly chop wood.

"Are you sure? Is something wrong with Y/N?" Sam probed.

"No." he swung the axe. "She woke up and was lucid again." again the ax thundered downwards. "She's doing much better than she has in the last few days." with the third blow the log was split.

But then Sam realized what was really going on with his brother. He had seen how the guilt had eaten away at Dean over the last few days. He had made huge accusations against himself, even if he hadn't admitted it. So Sam left him alone with the firewood, knowing that Dean would have to use it to release his pent-up emotions. But still the hope spread within him that this was finally the turning point.

An hour later, most of the firewood had been cut down and Dean was sweaty and exhausted. But he felt better. Now it was time to start all over again.

He made his way back into the castle when Mr. Gupta came out. Dean thanked him for his help and said goodbye to him with kind words. The doctor had made another decoction and prescribed Y/N two more days of bed rest in addition to a hot bath, but he was sure that she would recover completely. She just had to take it slowly and Dean would make sure of that.

When Dean came into the bedroom, it wasn't as warm as before and Y/N was still sitting in the hot tub. She was slightly startled when she saw Dean come in, but didn't say anything. That hit Dean a little, but he could also understand her behavior. After all, he was guilty of it himself and it was entirely up to him to change that.

He undressed and walked towards the tub. Y/N scooted forward to make room for him and once he was in the tub, she wanted to get out. But Dean stopped her and made her sit back down. He picked up the bar of soap that was lying on a small stool next to the tub and immediately recognized the scent. That's why Y/N always smelled so seductive.

By now the bar of soap was pretty thin and he made a mental note that he needed to bring her some again. After Dean had cleaned himself up, he leaned back in the tub and gently pulled Y/N along by the shoulders. She reacted a little stiffly at first, but quickly relaxed again and secretly enjoyed the feeling of finally being able to be so close to Dean again.

When the water slowly got cold, they got out of the tub again. Dean first so he could grab a towel for Y/N. He held it out to her openly after Y/N also had both feet on dry land and wrapped it around his shoulders. Suddenly they were so close. Body to body, face to face that Dean cleared his throat and had to take a few steps back so he didn't do anything rash.

"Dry yourself off and then go back to bed. I'll get you some real food." Dean said as he quickly got dressed and then disappeared from the room.

Later that evening, when Y/N was slowly making her way to dreamland again, Dean sat by the fire and looked over at the bed. Y/N lay there with her eyes closed, cheeks rosy, hair down and a relaxed expression on her face. And for the first time in days, Dean was able to breathe deeply.

After he had brought his wife and himself something to eat upstairs and they were sitting together, he remembered a situation that had happened in his childhood. On one of their trips when he and Sam were younger, his brother once fell into a frozen lake. Her father noticed immediately and didn't hesitate for a second to pull him out and Sam was quickly fine again.

Nevertheless, he had told Y/N about it and she seemed to just absorb his words. So he didn't stop talking. He told her about many things and she literally hung on his every word. Why hadn't he done this before? It was so easy to confide in her and even though he didn't like talking about himself in general, he felt comfortable with Y/N in doing so.

The tiredness slowly overcame him and so it didn't take long until Dean settled down in bed. Moving close to Y/N, he quickly fell asleep too.

But just a few hours later, Dean woke up with a start. He didn't know why, but his hand immediately searched the side of the bed next to him, expecting to feel Y/N. But her side was empty and already cold.

“Y/N?” he exclaimed, sitting up at the same time.

"I am here. I couldn't stay lying down anymore." She replied quietly with a smile and his eyes found her directly.

She was sitting by the fire, her hair falling over her shoulders and she had a book in her hand. But Dean couldn't take his eyes off of her. The orange glow of the flames painted her face and made her appear almost angelic. Dean's breath caught in his throat and he sank back onto the bed.

'God, she is so beautiful. Why didn't I notice this before?' he thought to himself.

After a moment he straightened up slightly and looked over at Y/N again.

“Will you please come back to bed?”

Y/N looked at him a little surprised, but then nodded. "Okay."

She put her book aside and came back to the bed. Dean had already lifted the blankets, implicitly inviting her to slide closer to him. Y/N was very happy to accept this offer. Once she was at his side, her head on his chest, he covered them both again.

"You really scared me." Dean said shortly afterwards into the comfortable silence.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to." Y/N replied quietly.

Dean looked down at Y/N. "Please don't just run away again. Not until I can talk to you."

Upon those words Y/N looked up at Dean. "I won't. I promise." and she meant it, because she wouldn't be able to go through this again.

They looked deeply into each other's eyes and suddenly it was as if time stood still. Dean couldn't hold back anymore. With a hand on her cheek, he leaned down to Y/N until his lips were on hers. He kissed her carefully at first, but Y/N didn't seem to mind the kiss. And as soon as Dean felt her tongue on his lower lip, he was done for.

He deepened the kiss and turned a little more towards Y/N, who was able to put her leg on his hip. His hand moved up her thigh until it came to rest on her ass.

She buried her hands in his hair and began to slowly rub herself against him. She moaned slightly into his mouth while his hand, which was on her butt, went back to wandering. The nightdress that Y/N was wearing had slipped onto her own hips. With his thigh he opened her legs a little more so that his already stiff cock could nestle against her warm center.

Dean could already feel how wet she was and he had to hold himself together not to just push into her. But when Y/N's hand landed on his ass shortly afterwards and she pushed him closer to her, he literally slid into her. So he turned her so that she was lying on her back and sank his last few inches into her.

They both groaned and Dean wasted no time. He moved slowly but forcefully inside her. He carried out each of his thrusts with passion as he uncovered Y/N's breasts and caressed them there with his mouth. He licked her nipples and bit them tenderly, making her moans grow louder.

At some point he picked up the pace a little and licked from her breasts over her collarbone to her neck. That bittersweet pressure built up inside Y/N again and she searched with her lips for Dean's, who was only too happy to kiss her back.

He felt Y/N start to throb around his cock and began to chase his own orgasm. Y/N moved with him, holding onto his shoulders and as she jumped over the edge, he followed her just seconds later. He poured himself deep and hard into her while Y/N enjoyed the aftershocks.

They both looked deeply into each other's eyes as their pulses slowly calmed down. But neither really wanted to let go of the other. So they lay there entangled in each other and fell asleep together again.

A/N: I told you that everything would get better again. Let's just hope it stays that way. 😶 Let me know what you think. Feedback is very much appreciated! 💜

@chriszgirl92 @elenasalvatore1 @laurensfangirlingsideblog @moonxlightsworld @muhahaha303

@stoneyggirl2 @ladysparkles78 @allthosepeopleilovetofangirlover @ninii-winchester @itsdesiree86

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@leila22rogers @whimsyfinny @a-girl-who-loves-disney @goest-and-fuckest-thyself

@zepskies @star-girl-05 @tmb510 @louisianalady @deansimpalababy

@livsh20 @livya99 @whichwitchwanda @sydneyabcd @emotionsmgcbabe

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@fics-pics-andotherthings-i-like @yellowumbrelllaaa

#rightfully deceived #midevial!au #spn #dean winchester x reader #dean x reader #jensen ackles #supernatural #scotish men #scotland

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cjjohansson · 8 months ago

Text

what if love isn't enough?

natasha romanoff x reader // part 1...

angst? yes. sad? yes. am i sorry? no x x x

“Were you going to tell me?” you breathe out into the room, Natasha stills when she hears your voice.

“Tell you what?” She tries to act innocent but you know better. You won’t fall into her games right now.

“That you're seeing some girl, some doctor in the medbay?” Natasha stays quiet, and part of you feels like you can hear your heart break.

“Ha, ok, nice. See you around Natasha.” And now it is her turn to feel like she can hear her own heart break too.

You and Natasha have a long history. Years of flirting turned into a one night stand, which led to multiple dates. Which then turned into a relationship that floated naturally, without one another having to say a thing, without actually having to verbalize it. You shared a bedroom; well not for about 3 months now, that’s how long it has been since you two separated over a stupid argument about how she didn't want you to go on a solo mission. Nights spent in that room worshiping each other, treating each other's wounds after a bad mission, comforting each other after horrible nightmares, sharing i love you’s…

How can you be with someone for 5 years and claim you love them so much that it hurts, to then start seeing someone only 2 weeks after breaking up?

Because according to a conversation you overheard in medbay, they’ve been seeing each other for just under 3 months.

You mindlessly drift through the compound, ignoring everyone who tries to speak to you, you can’t do this right now.

How can you do this when only 5 days ago, she was in your bed breathlessly moaning your name after you both needed some comfort after a bad mission?

How could she do this? That’s all that was running through your head as you approached the punching bag in the corner of the gym.

How could she start seeing someone so quickly after you broke up? How could she then sleep with you while seeing someone else and not even tell you? How could she rip your heart out all over again?

You hated it. You hated how much emotional power she held over you.

But you guessed that’s what you get for falling in love right?

“Hey.”

“Fuck off.” You huff to Bucky as he approaches the bag and holds it still, taking the force from your punches like they're nothing to him at all.

“You know…” That makes you stop. Your hands falling to your sides as you stare at him confused.

“I know what Buck?” You watch his eyes widen as he takes a step back, putting some distance between you.

“I was going to tell you, I was, I promise you. We both just got caught up in missions and when I was here you weren't, and vice versa you know?”

“I know what James? Do not make me ask a third time!” Your anger is building, you already know the answer.

“About Nat and Dr-”

“Fuck you.”

“Y/n…”

“NO! FUCK YOU!”

“Calm down, let me talk!”

“No, you don't get to talk to me. You’ve been my best friend since we were 3 years old! You kept this from me! How could you! How could you…” You sob as you turn and walk out the room. You can’t be here. Your own best friend knew? Who else knew? Everyone most likely if Bucky did.

You find yourself mindlessly drifting back through the compound, only this time no one stops to try and talk to you. You can’t imagine you look good right now, you're so close to exploding.

You end up in your bedroom, walking into your closet to grab a suitcase from the top, dragging it to your bed as you work your way through your drawers and closet, grabbing everything and anything you could get your hands on.

You need to leave, it is the only thing that you can actually think straight on. If you stay, you won’t survive. It’s been hard enough the past 3 months let alone knowing she is with someone new.

“Babe…” You don't stop grabbing clothes. You don't bother to fold them, you just throw them straight into the suitcase as quickly as you can.

“Can you let me talk, let me explain.” You stay silent. You can’t even look at her right now.

“I’m not, ugh, I’m not seeing her. I don’t know what you heard, but you know how rumors spread around here. I’m not seeing her.” You lose it.

“You're fucking her though, right?” You turn to face her, keeping the distance between you. You're so angry, you're hurt, this is ruining you.

“Y/n… We broke up.”

“Oh so that just makes it okay to go fuck someone days after we break up? 5 years of my life wasted for what? Did you actually ever even love me? Or did you just love the attention I gave you?”

“That is not fair. You know I love you, I love you so deeply that it hurts, it aches. But you were the one to walk away, don't try and act like a victim here. YOU LEFT ME! You broke my heart. So you do not have the right to stand here and be upset and angry with me for doing that, when you were the one who walked away first.” That isn’t fair, that isn’t what happened at all.

“I did NOT walk away. You gave me an ultimatum. I had to go on that mission, you knew I did-”

“YOU DIDN’T! Bucky said he would go instead! The lead up to that mission was driving you crazy, for months you had nightmares, you worked yourself to exhaustion. I tried to be there for you and you pushed me away! I stayed until I couldn't anymore! I couldn't stand by and let you ruin yourself. I left because in return it was ruining me too. Because if I stayed you would have hated me anyway.” Both of you are breathing deeply, the tension flowing around the room. How can any of this be happening? How is any of this fair to either of you?

“I love you. But you didn't love me enough to stay. So I walked away and every step I took, it fucking killed me. I stripped myself bare to you! I gave you so many parts of myself that I have never given to another person before, that I will never give to another person ever again! So yes! I slept with someone, I can hold my hands up and admit that I did. It was soon, and that was a shitting thing to do but you leaving was really fucking shitty too Y/n. I do not owe you an explanation or an apology for how I deal with my own pain, not anymore.” Natasha’s breathing picks up, tears flowing down her cheeks with no intent of stopping any time soon.

“Natasha…”

“I am not seeing her. I slept with her once. And I have regretted it every single day since it happened. Because she isn’t you, but no one is going to be you, ever. And that’s my burden to carry.” Natasha turns to leave the room but you find yourself rushing towards the door and holding it closed before she can exit. Her back is pressed against your front and all you can smell is the perfume you bought her for valentines day.

“Stay…”

“How can you expect me to stay when you wouldn’t?” Her forehead rests on the door as she continues to breathe deeply. Her words completely throw you. Because she is right.

“I know that mission drove me crazy, but I need you to understand that I needed to do what I had to do tasha or it would have ruined me even more. They…they ruined me, they took me apart and put me back together wrong over and over as they saw fit, day after day. I was the one who needed to finish it. Not anyone else. Because if I didn’t finish it, it would have eaten me alive for the rest of my life. That night, when I left, all I felt and saw was rage. They stole everything from me, I needed it to be over, and I’m sorry that it meant I had to leave you to be able to do that. But I never meant to hurt you, I never meant to ruin you too. I never meant for any of this Natasha. Believe me when I say that, please.” Your voice cracks as you rest your forehead on the back of her head. Your tears falling into her hair, you can feel her body moving from her own sobs.

“I know you didn’t. I didn’t either but we both did. How can we even move forward from this Y/n?” She turns in your hold, your forehead now resting on hers and you stare into each other's red eyes.

“I love you. After all this time, I still love you. It’s always been you, it was you yesterday, it was you 2 months ago, a year ago. It is you today, it will be you tomorrow and for the rest of my life it will be you, I love you Natasha.”

Her hand moves to your face, your own head leaning into her palm as she takes the weight of it.

“But what if love isn’t enough y/n?”

part 2

#natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha x reader #natasha romanoff imagine #natasha romanoff x fem!reader #natasha romonova #natasha romanoff fanfic #natasha romanov #black widow x reader #angst

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gothamhappiness · 7 months ago

Text

Being in a relationship with Bruce Wayne: a journey - Too in love to stay apart (Part IX)

It's a big series about an afab!reader who doesn't like Bruce Wayne and who still falls in love with him (he fells quicker and harder)

Reader's origin story // Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4 // Part 5 // Part 6 // Part 7 // Part 8

Warnings: no proof reading, very hard times for reader, abusive mother, depressed!Bruce, angst/comfort

You had stayed away from Gotham a lot longer than you originally thought.

You kept in touch with the kids who had created a group chat without Bruce, even though it felt off to all of them. Alfred was often sending you messages as well, half because Bruce was asking news from you and half because Alfred missed you. Your friends in Gotham were worrying about you. It was obvious you weren’t doing very well lately.

Breaking up with Bruce has been very hard for you. You were deeply in love with him. You would have loved to be able to speak with him about everything wrong right now. You needed him but it was over now. The situation with your family was difficult, as usual. You had forgotten what it was to be yelled at by your mother when she wasn’t ignoring you. You were tired, unloved, a little bit lost too.

You just wanted to be back a few months ago, when things were doing well. You needed to be strong and to keep your head high. It was going to be alright, at least the children were still in your life. And it was truly helping you, even though it meant you couldn’t stop thinking about Bruce.

Bruce was actually losing his mind. Each day, each night, he was feeling himself going down. He had never thought he would feel so bad again. He should have been smarter: if your presence was a new strength for him and his family, your absence was obviously a weakness and a very sensitive subject.

It had been one whole month that you weren’t together anymore. It had been one whole month, and he was struggling more and more to sleep and to eat. He was busing himself with work, all kinds of work, to not have to face your absence. Alfred was getting very worried, and the kids were keeping a close eye on their mentor, just to make sure nothing bad happened to him. Bruce wasn’t aware of any of this. He was telling himself over and over again that he could deal. But it was just a lie. And deep down, he knew it.

More than once he had wondered if maybe he could call you, or at least text you. But he didn’t want to bother you. He didn’t want to make things even worse than they already were. The Batfamily knew about your not so dead father, but for the moment, they decided to not do anything about it. Not without your consent. And clearly, you weren’t in the right state of mind to talk to them about it. Bruce didn’t want to work on a case that would keep reminding him of you anyway. The point of plunging into work was to forget about you. Not the opposite.

Of course, he had kept tabs on you, but it was just to make sure you were alright, nothing else. But it was another lie. And he knew it.

Bruce had been so exhausted that night, that Alfred convinced him to go to bed. His body was covered in bruises and wounds. He clearly needed to get some rest. Bruce had no idea how many hours he had stayed awake this time. Alfred and the children preferred to not count anymore. Bruce was a mess. Batman was more ruthless and violent than usual. Everyone was on edge.

But for once, Bruce actually managed to fall asleep. Usually, his mind was drifting back to you and thus he couldn’t rest. His body gave up and it was a dreamless sleep for once, no nightmare, just darkness.

But as he turned around, he looked for you in his sleep. His arm just wanted to bring you close to his body; a gesture he did countless times. A gesture that always brought him comfort and peace. Everything was alright as long as you were by his side.

He woke up in panic as he didn’t find your body next to his, before remembering you weren’t supposed to come back home anymore. He felt sick, so sick at the idea of not having you in his arms anymore. He couldn’t breathe. He regretted all the early mornings you tried to keep him in bed with you and he only gave you five more minutes of cuddles. He wished he had given in, each time. He had taken your presence and affection for granted.

And now you were gone.

Forever gone if he didn’t fix the situation.

He took his phone, and without thinking he typed a message away and sent it to you:

“Your absence is unbearable.”

You weren’t sleeping, you were turning around in your bed, unable to find a good position to rest. There was too much in your mind. You just wanted to call Bruce. But you couldn’t. You needed to stop crying too. You took a deep breath, trying to calm down. Now you couldn’t sleep at all. You were too upset.

You grabbed your phone and decided to scroll on social medias, until it would tire your eyes enough for you to hope to sleep. You were bored and you couldn’t really focus on the screen in front of you. Until something happened. You were surprised when you saw a notification from Bruce. You were probably dreaming, you thought. You clicked on it. You were even more surprised when you read those words. You read them over and over again. You couldn’t believe your own two eyes.

You didn't know what to say, what to reply at first. Was he really missing you? Like you were missing him?

“Not sleeping or working?” you replied, you just wanted to know why he was suddenly messaging you “You probably have better things to do than messaging me right now” you added.

“Can’t sleep without you” Bruce replied right away; he was too tired to even think anymore.

He was just so relieved to be in contact with you again. He felt like a wave of relief crashing over him already. “Why aren’t you sleeping either?” he added, always worried about you

“I don’t know if you noticed but things suck lately” you replied

“I know”

“I’m surprised you stayed away from my father’s adventures. Or you are just keeping things low enough for me to not notice you?” you asked

“Didn’t want to do anything that might upset you even more” Bruce said “But I’d do anything for you”

You scoffed at such words

“Oh yeah? Didn’t notice”

“Come back home, and I’ll show you” he promised

“I thought we weren’t meant to stay together.” you replied

“I never said that” Bruce tensed up

“You never said the opposite either” you were ready to put your phone away, the conversation was making you feel sick

“I love you.” Bruce instantly replied

And you instantly called Bruce who answered just as fast. You stayed quiet for a little while, the both of you. You didn’t even know why you called him.

“Talk to me” he finally whispered

“You’re the one who hasn’t been talking to me. I needed you to tell me you loved me a month ago. I needed you to reassure me we were fine.” you argued back

“I… I didn’t realise it. I’m sorry.” Bruce hummed, his throat tighten

“Why tell me all this now?”

“Because I can’t live without you. You are my sun, my hope and happiness.”

You stayed silent after those words, you felt your mind calming down for an instant.

“I really need you too” you admitted

“I know things are complicated with your father… We’ll deal together when you’ll be back in Gotham.” he promised

“I should come back to Gotham at the end of the week. Come get me at the station” you asked

“Of course, I’ll be there”

“And yes for a date” you heard Bruce smile

“Anything you want, my love”

PART 10

Taglist for all my work <3

@blublock404

@wind-canoe

@silverklaus

@couldeatthatgirlforlunch

@tatsuri-zomushiki

@navs-bhat

Taglist for Bruce Wayne <3

@alishii

Taglist for this series <3

@Esposadomd

@moraxussy

@resident-cryptid

@legendarypiratecheesecake

@randomnamedmira

@elleclairez

@mindless-rock

@lumiqou

@prongs-moon

@classypeachphantom

@boiohboii

@c3liaaaaa@nickey-diano

#batfam x reader #batfamily #batman #bruce wayne #alfred pennyworth #bruce wayne x fem!reader #bruce wayne x s/o #bruce wayne x y/n #bruce wayne x you #bruce wayne x reader #batmom #batman x f!reader #batman x s/o #batman x y/n #batman x you #batman x reader

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liquideyes · 5 days ago

Text

ミ★ how many things ★彡

summary: rex and you were childhood best friends, as you instantly took a liking to him. and the two of you began dating not too long into your teenage years. however as good as things were you two ultimately had a falling out, and eventually broke up. you never wanted to see or speak to him again. until you received an urgent late-night call from mark grayson. pairing: rex splode x telekinetic! f reader word count: 2k warnings: none, just a little bit of angst

You and Rex had been broken up for several months. And ever since then your life had seemed a little more empty. The night would feel darker, and your bed felt like it was missing something. Every so often you would catch yourself reaching for a presence that wasn’t ever there in your tired haze.

You couldn’t truly escape him either. He was always there, lingering. Never giving you any time to move on. Not that you wanted to. He was the love of your life. Emphasize on was. Because he wasn’t yours anymore. He had made sure of that when he cheated on you.

Sometimes you regret being so harsh on him. You had known each other for years, and you knew he didn’t ever have a solid foundation for what a relationship should look like. But he still should’ve known better. Instead of assuming that just because of one fight you would want to break up with him. Because you didn’t. But he gave you no other choice after he stooped so low.

He had apologized profusely, but you couldn’t even tell if he actually meant it. These apologies stopped after a while. And now you both were in this awkward phase, where every time you were near each other you just stood in a solemn silence. You couldn’t even remember the last time you had an actual conversation with him, outside of what was required with you two being on the same team.

But you still cared about him. That would never change. He meant so much to you for so long that even with you two not on speaking terms you would still risk your life for him. And more specifically you would always show up for him. Which is exactly what you did when you received a late night call from Mark.

“Mark, hey.. I’m kind of on a much needed break right now. So this better be extremely important.” You heard him breathing as you waited for a response. You were slowly pacing around the hallway of your childhood home. And you caught sight of an old picture. Probably from 4 or 5 years ago. It’s of you and Rex from the one of the first times he had come over to my house. Funny how you had never noticed it till now. Your Dad happened to take an immediate liking to him, which was probably why the picture was hanging up. But it was still surprising to see since you had already explained to your Dad what had happened between you and Rex months ago. He seemed even more shocked than you were.

You lifted the frame off the wall, turning it over as Mark finally managed to get his words out, “Rex is in critical condition right now. They don’t know when he’s gonna wake up from his coma.”

At that moment time just stopped and you froze in place. Your whole body went numb, and you involuntarily released the frame from your grip. Not even paying attention as it dropped to the floor and shattered. “What?”

“He got shot in the back of the head while fighting the lizard league. Apparently he got up and was able to kill them all, but after he just collapsed. They’re keeping him in the Pentagon right now.”

You needed to see him. You should’ve been there. This is all your fault. If you hadn’t gone back home for the week. You didn’t even really need the break that badly.

As Mark kept feeding you more and more information, you rushed back into your room to grab a jacket and shoes. You jotted down a quick note to your Dad, telling him you’d be gone for at most a day. Leaving it on the kitchen counter, as you headed back out the back door.

“Give me five minutes. I’ll be there.”

“You don’t have to–”

But you’ve already hung up the phone before you let him finish the sentence. But then, as you lifted yourself off the ground using your powers, the franticness seemed to wear off. And you realized what you were doing. The rational side of your mind kicking in.

What would you do if you got there and he was awake? What would you say? Why were you blaming yourself for something that had nothing to do with you? Why did you feel guilty? Why did you miss him now after all this time? All the time you’d given yourself to grieve and miss your relationship? After everything he did that broke your heart.

You tried not to think too hard about it. What was really drawing you back after months of radio silence.

Mark was there to greet you when you made it into the Pentagon’s medical wing. It had not been too long since you had last seen each other. But he drew you into a hug that made it seem like it had been years. He was worried for you. And for Rex. He knew how hurt you were, but he also knew you still cared about Rex. Enough to drop everything and fly away in the middle of the night to go and see him.

“How are you doing?”

“I’ve been better, but I’ll be okay. Where are they keeping him.”

He looked at you, silently asking with his eyes, are you ready for this? Seeing Rex for the first time in months. And half-dead at that.

You nodded in response. You had to see him.

The two of you walked towards Rex’s room in silence. Mark could feel your inner turmoil and was trying his best to be there for you while also giving you the space you needed. The two of you hadn’t known each other for that long, but you had both already become an integral part of the other’s lives. He saw you as a younger sister, even though you were a year older than him. But nonetheless, he wanted to do whatever he could to look out for you.

When you two finally approached the room assigned to Rex, you froze for a moment. Placing your hand against the door. You kept repeating to yourself over and over again that you had to see him. But now you were finally there, and you didn’t know if you were ready. Because you never realized how much you missed until he was almost gone.

Mark placed a comforting hand on your shoulder, “Are you good to go in there yourself?”

“Yeah. I’m gonna be fine, Mark. It’s ok if you want to go now, thank you. For everything”

He nodded slowly, giving you one last sympathetic as he turned away. You didn’t actually expect to leave so quickly. But sometimes you surprised yourself with how good your acting skills were. Because you were not going to be ‘fine’. Because this was a big step you didn’t think you would have to take so soon. But what could you do, Rex almost died. No one plans for that. No one wants to have to plan for that.

With Mark now gone out of eyesight you lightly pressed your forehead against the door. Taking a few deep breaths, trying to summon the courage to walk in there. You had to do this. You had to know if he was okay.

So with what little confidence you had mustered up, you slowly pushed open the door. Trying to make as little noise as possible. Your head was pointed down, closing your eyes would’ve been too much. You stepped inside, shutting the door behind you. This time with a bit too much force.

When you brought your head back up there he was sitting up and awake. Staring sadly at the wall, with a glassy look in his eyes. He turned towards you when he heard the door close. The look on his face was indescribable.

“Rex..”

“Babe…” he stopped himself. Releasing immediately what he had just said, “Sorry– I’m just surprised, to be seeing you. I’m not really thinking straight right now. They told me I have some serious brain damage. And they were shocked I had already woken up.”

“No, it’s fine. I’m… I completely understand. Are you okay?” Your words felt foreign and clumsy. And you didn’t sound like yourself. It felt like you were watching the interaction through someone else’s eyes.

“Yeah, I will be.”

This wasn’t the two of you. This was two strangers who were only talking because of a mutual connection. With nothing in common and nothing to say to each other.

But you didn’t want that. No matter what you kept telling yourself you wanted him back. You wanted to know and love him again. You just weren’t sure if that was possible anymore.

“Are you really that surprised to see me?”

That felt like you were crossing a line. Not in the form of boundaries, but in the form of an obstacle. This was acknowledging the elephant in the room. This was you acknowledging why you didn’t speak anymore.

“After everything I did, yeah. I thought you wanted me dead,” he said with a laugh, but looking into his tone there was a hint of seriousness.

“I would never want you dead. I already miss you enough.” It was then that you took in his appearance. His hand was gone, and it was obvious where he had been shot in the head. You mostly noticed how tired he looked. How deflated, and drained he was.

“You don’t mean that.”

“I do.”

“Then why are you only bringing this up now. I’ve apologized more than a million times now.”

“Because I thought you were gonna die. And I don’t think I could live with myself if I never got to see you again before that.” That sentence alone both said everything and didn’t say anything.

A silence fell between the two of you. And then out of nowhere, something inside of you compelled you to sit down in the chair next to his bed. That same funny feeling also telling you to reach out and grab his hand. The one that had obviously not been bitten off.

His breath hitched for a moment as he just stared at you. You weren’t even looking at him and yet you could feel it.

“I’ve missed you too. And I’ve missed your dad.”

That got a smile out of you. He didn’t say it but he missed seeing that smile in the morning right after he woke up.

“He misses you too.”

“Do you think– things are ever gonna go back to the way they were?”

You didn’t respond right away, which scared him. So he quickly tried his best to back peddle. “You don’t have to answer that.”

“Sometimes, once in a blue moon, I’ll catch myself pretending things between us are normal.” You were still looking anywhere but his face. However as you said it you gave his hand a squeeze. It was brief and fleeting. But very much felt.

At that moment his voice lowered to barely a whisper, “This is stupid. This is so fucking stupid.”

“I know.”

After saying that you finally locked eyes with him again. The two of you communicating through your shared eye contact. In that moment you swore you were about to start crying. And a singular teardrop did fall from your eye. There were a thousand words that you were finally letting escape. Traveling between the distances that seemed incredibly far away. It was made clear through the silence that you both hated not being on speaking terms. And you both missed the way things used to be before the breakup.

You spoke up again, putting an end to the unrest, “It’s going to take time for things to go back to the way they were. But I’m willing to try.” It wasn’t an acceptance, but it was an olive branch. That you were finally ready to give to him.

author's note: was this lowkey a soft launch to a full-fledged rex splode series i want to eventually write. yes. so please like, comment, reblog, etc. if you enjoyed. i really love the dynamic i wrote in this and would love to further explore it. if that something anyone's interested in :)

#rex splode #rex splode x reader #rex sloan #rex sloan x reader #invincible rex splode #invincible #jackie writes

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onehoplessromantic · 10 months ago

Text

B. Bradshaw | Masterlist

Top Gun - Maverick

Updated: 5/18/2025 [link check, new ‘hotter than texas’ chapter]

!!authors!! if u want something removed plz pm me 💕 ily

PSA: if you want to be kept up to date with the happenings of this list you can sign up for my tag list here so you will be notified when i add fics or chapters and you can choose to keep up with bigger announcements as well

fluff-> 🤍 | smut -> 🍋 | angst -> 🌧️ | major tw -> ‼️

Series

☆ ALTITUDE | @tongue-like-a-razor

13 chapters | on hold | 🌧️🤍

Sydney is not a pilot. But she knows all their tricks. That's why, when she meets the smooth-talking Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw, she's not falling for any of them. She's not falling for him, either.

☆ ARE WE STILL FRIENDS? | @perpetuallydaydreaming

12 chapters | complete | 🤍🌧️🍋

Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw and you have been friends since you can remember, just friends (unfortunately) but when you are called back to Top Gun everything changes...

☆ JEALOUSY, JEALOUSY | @feralforfrank

3 chapters | complete | 🌧️🤍🍋

Rooster and you have never liked each other. One night at the Hard Deck is enough to change the dynamic between you.

☆ IF IT MAKES YOU HAPPY | @bloatedandalone04

4 chapters | complete | 🌧️🤍🍋

The one where you give Bradley your heart and he breaks it.

☆ FAKING IT | @tongue-like-a-razor

8 chapters | complete | 🌧️🤍

Fake dating your friend, Bradley Bradshaw - what could possibly go wrong? Your sister is getting married and you need a date. You enlist Bradley's help and the rest is history.

☆ AT LEAST I LET THE LIGHT IN | @heartsofminds

1 chapter | on hold (?) | 🌧️‼️

Bradley is on a downward spiral and Natasha doesn't know how much more she can take - unofficial sequel to 'cause no one breaks my heart like you (linked here)

☆ DRUNK IN LOVE / DRUNK IN LOVE | @feralforfrank

2 chapters | complete | 🌧️🤍

Rooster brings a drunk!reader to his house. What happens when you wake up in bed with Rooster, your sworn rival?

☆ THIS LOVE CAME BACK TO ME | @beyondthesefourwalls

13 chapters | complete | 🌧️‼️‼️

You and Bradley hadn’t ended on bad terms; really, you stopped before the two of you could ever truly begin. Still, in the last seven months, you had never completely left his mind. So when you suddenly appeared in front of him at the bar, asking for a favor and pulling him in for a kiss, he thought maybe it was a perfect opportunity to see if this time, things could be different. But what neither of realized was that there’s more going on than just rekindling a lost romance, and it might not be as easy as simply wanting it.

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE read the warnings carefully before reading this story!!

☆ REMEMBER YOU EVEN WHEN I DON'T | @beyondthesefourwalls

10 chapters | complete | 🤍🍋🌧️

A training accident, the doctor had told him. A nasty one that led him here, laying in a hospital bed with a splitting headache and an inability to remember the woman sitting right beside him. What he did know, though, was that you were the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, and you felt important to him. That, as it turns out, would become an understatement

☆ HOTTER THAN TEXAS | @tongue-like-a-razor

4 chapters | ongoing | 🤍

Bradley Bradshaw is tasked with transporting a not-so-delicate package in the form of Jake Seresin's baby sister, who turns out to be Bradley's dream girl worst nightmare.

Oneshots

☆ BRAD BRAD | @peterparkersnose

wc: 1.9k | 🤍🌧️

teasing, intimidation, situationship coming to a close, ANGST, mentions of death and dealing with death, rooster is in denial of looove, fluff at the end

Rooster gets upset when a harmless joke crosses the line.

☆ "YOU TOLD ME NOT TO WORRY ABOUT THEM" | @katsu28

wc: 1.3k | request | 🌧️🤍

bradley "rooster" bradshaw x aviator!reader, callsign casper (like the ghost hehe), some swearing

Rooster gets upset when pilot hazing goes too far

☆ LOVE IN THE DARK | @bloatedandalone04

wc: 2.8k | 🌧️

swearing, angst, sad boy bradley, lowkey depressed reader, more angst bc im sick and unhappy about it, new theme

The one where the deployments become too much.

☆ WHEN I PICTURE MYSELF HAPPY, I SEE YOU | @feralforfrank

wc: idk loll | prompt | 🌧️🤍

angst with a happy ending, miscommunication trope (?), nondescriptive reader

Rooster and reader fight, but they make up in their own way.

☆ "THATS NOT WHAT I MEANT AND YOU KNOW IT" | @katsu28

wc: 1.7k | request | 🌧️

bradley "rooster" bradshaw x reader, some swearing, angst

You miss Bradley so much while he's away, in trying to communicate this to him, lines get crossed and emotions rise.

☆ CRUMBLE | @daddy-bradley

wc: idk | 🌧️🤍

angst, cursing, mentions of parental insecurity, depression, anxiety, has a happy ending

You and Bradley are having your first fight after your baby is born. How will you both come to a solution and learn to cope through this together.

☆ 'CAUSE NO ONE BREAKS MY HEART LIKE YOU | @heartsofminds

wc: 19k | 🌧️‼️

heavy angst, miscommunication, heartbreak, right person wrong universe type shit, slow burn angst, disrespect towards women, drinking, bradley is a dick

Bradley Bradshaw is terrified of commitment and he decides to stop being selfish (even though its hard to see)

☆ MIDNIGHT RAIN | @bloatedandalone04

wc: 3.6k | 🤍🍋🌧️‼️

fluff, smut, angst, oral (f receiving), mentions/descriptions of bad past relationships, mentions of abuse, past abuse, toxic ex, trauma?, bad coping habits, arguments, crying, swearing

The one where Bradley is the best boyfriend you could ever ask for, but even he cant fully erase the bad memories of your last relationship.

☆ THINGS UNSEEN AND HEARD | @bloatedandalone04

wc: 4.1k | 🍋🌧️🤍

smut, angst, fluff, obvious bradley insecurities, self-deprecating thoughts, unprotected sex, swearing, alcohol consumption, maybe more

The one where you overhear Bradley talk about you to Jake and decide to give him the space he apparently wanted.

☆ THE STACHE INCIDENT | @feralforfrank

wc: no clue | drabble | 🤍

tooth rotting fluff, its honestly tragic

the title says all you need to know

☆ WHO DID THIS TO YOU? | @feralforfrank

wc: i dunno | 🌧️🤍

accidental injury (reader got hit in the face), crying, nondescript reader

It’s a drabble, I cant say much…

☆ THE ZIPPER INCIDENT | @tongue-like-a-razor

wc: i honestly, truly, don’t know | request | 🌧️🤍

fluff, angst, swearing, a pinch of smut, you stand up your date, which is shitty of you, but it’s probably worth it

You’re running late and you need help zipping up your dress. After recovering from the initial shock of seeing you all dolled up, Rooster is more than happy to assist.

☆ SLEEPYHEAD | @roosterbruiser

wc: *shrugs* | blurb | 🤍

tooth-rotting fluff, sleepy bradley

just read it goddamnit 🥹

☆ PERMANENT STATE OF OBLIVION | @topgun-imagines

wc: 3.2k | request | 🌧️🤍

drinking, arguments, angsty feelings

Despite all the times you have tried to make your feelings for the mustached pilot obvious, he still hasn't caught on. You make things clear one night at the hard deck.

taglist sign up

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venenna · 2 months ago

Text

MAPS

Sae Itoshi x reader

A/n: I got inspo from "Maps" by Maroon 5 <3

Most likely occ, pls do forgive

FOR THE STORY PURPOSES SAE AND RIN DIDN'T HAVE A FALL OUT AND HE ISN'T SO DEPRESSED 💔💔(he still became midfielder but no hard feelings)

ALSO BIG THANKS TO WOOKIE( @crystxlseesu ) for proofreading

✦•┈๑⋅⋯ ⋯⋅๑┈•✦

Its been 2 years since Sae left for Spain.

And man did you miss him....

You knew Itoshi brothers ever since you could talk. Everyone thought that the older boy was stoic, serious and cold, and in fact he was. But to Rin and you he wasn't. He was Sae a caring boy with a big heart, always buying you Ice cream after his practice.

And now you were watching him leave in pursuit of his greatest passion and dream.

"Come back as best striker ya hear" you said playfully punching him "or else you've left for nothing"

"Of course i will, that's the plan" Sae stated as matter of factly.

"We're counting on you, you know me and Rin, dont disappoint us" you said smirking at him.

Sae and you just stared at each other for a minute, either not wanting to break the comfortable silence. Until...

"Call me when you land?"

He nods

You suddenly hug him, warm liquid gathering at you lash line "Come back soon okay?"

The auburn haired boy returns the gesture, although a little startled by the suddeness of it.

"I will" He said brushing some of [hc] locks out of your face "Will you wait for me?"

"Of course i will"

The moment when he left kept replaying in your head for years. And now here you were staring at his last message.

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

Saesae🩷

Im coming back.

4:14pm

To say you were shocked was an understatement. You were feeling everything all at once. All pent up emotions from years back came crashing down like a tidal wave. Trying to get a hold of yourself you fumble with your phone and quickly type:

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

Saesae🩷

Im coming back.

WHAT WHEN WHERE?!?!

that's so sjjssjajjsjs

omg i missed you

Tell me when to come

and I'll pick you up pookie 🫦

Me and rin will get you

5:26pm

Your hands kept shaking. This felt so surreal, HE was coming back, the boy you fell in love with all those years ago. You couldn't help a wide grin spreading across your face.

✦•┈๑⋅⋯ ⋯⋅๑┈•✦

Sae unlocked the door to his apartment, it was around 5pm in Madrid. He just came back from training, as soon as his phone connected to WiFi it started buzzing with notifications. Corner of his mouth twitches as he sees your contact name pop up.

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

[Nickname]

Im coming back.

WHAT WHEN WHERE?!?!

that's so sjjssjajjsjs

omg i missed you

Tell me when to come and I'll pick you up pookie 🫦

Me and rin will get you

9:26am

Saturday, the same airport

2pm in your time, don't be late.

I missed you too |

I miss |

✦•┈๑⋅⋯ ⋯⋅๑┈•✦

Waking up next day, the rays of morning sun shining brightly in your eyes. You immediately pick up your phone (as the addict you are) and see one notification from Sae. Safe to say you got woken up pretty quickly.

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

Saesae 🩷

Saturday, the same airport 2pm in your time, don't be late.

1:30am

I was asleep 💔💔

Aye aye sir will be

there in appointed time

🫡🫡🫡

BTW how was practice

yesterday

Getting up from the bed was a challenge you weren't ready for yet, deciding staying under your warm blankets was a better alternative.

*Buzz*

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

Saesae 🩷

Practice today was alright,

as usual.

How did you sleep?

7:36am

Glad to hear it

I slept well!!!!!

finally on spring break

FREEDOM

WTF IS A KILOMETER⁉️

🦅

👍 Saesae 🩷 reacted

Also goodnight ik its

11pm for you sir

Ill see you on Saturday :)

❤️ Saesae 🩷 reacted

✦•┈๑⋅⋯ ⋯⋅๑┈•✦

The Saturday came and things couldn't have went.......worse!!

You over slept your alarm and you were currently hurrying around your home trying to get ready (your family's alarmed). Your car keys are no where to be found, and Rin couldn't come with you due to an important game he had today. It was 11am and ride to airport was 2 hours. Safe to say if you don't get yourself together you'll be late.

After what felt like hours you finally got ready, now the problem were the keys, which god knows where you left them. And you were supposed to go in 15 minutes!!

Running through the house like a madman opening every drawer, every cabinet or anything that could be opened really. Time was ticking and you were already going to be late for sure. Your parents were helping you in search, God bless your mother who found your keys i the laundry basket (girl how did it even get there?).

You straight up ran outside towards your car ignoring whatever your parents said. Something about "good luck" or "drive safely", honestly you couldn't be bothered to think about it.

As you sat down in the drivers seat turning on the radio, shuffling through a few stations stopping at one playing "Shut Up and Drive" by Rihanna, oddly fitting song for the occasion. Letting the song fade i to the background you set up your GPS, since last time you were at the airport the Itoshis ever so kindly took you with them, you were pretty much clueless which way to go.

Your hands were gripping the steering wheel as you checked GPS for nth time. Checking every turn you made just in case. It's 1:55pm and you were almost there, surprising considering the earlier incident.

You could already see the outline of the airport!

✦•┈๑⋅⋯ ⋯⋅๑┈•✦

Sae was lifting up his eye mask looking out of window. Listening to music on his earphones he stretched for a bit.

Plane was slowly descending, tho his face didn't show it he was happy to know he'll see you again, after years of being apart. He couldn't help a smal smile gracing his lips.

As Sae got off the plane he immediately called you.

*Ring ring ring*

Your phone rang as you parked your car, as soon as your car was set in place you answered.

"Hello [Name]"

"Hey Sae!!!"

"Where are you?"

"In the parking lot, i had to park so far from the exist, damn early birds" slamming your car door with more force then necessary "I'll be there in a minute, stay on call"

"Ok"

✦•┈๑⋅⋯ ⋯⋅๑┈•✦

Running through airport wasn't your brightest idea, but it was the only idea right now. Pushing through the crowd trying to reach the boy you've been yearning to see.

"Remind me" you talked into your phone panting slightly "where exactly are you?"

He sighs before speaking "Near the baggage carousel"

Slowing down to catch your breath looking around the baggage carousel area "I don't-"

Pair of, all to familiar, teal eyes locks gaze with your [ec] ones "-see you..."

You quickly hang up, shoving your phone somewhere. You didn't care enough to actually acknowledge it's location. Your body, even tho exhausted from all frantic running, reflexively sprinted towards him.

Without a second thought you jumped to hug him. The next moment you were already in his arms, tho hesitant, Sae reciprocated the embrace.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE HERE" tightening your hold on him "i missed you"

"Im here, and im very much real [Name]" he sighs, hint of a smile evident on his features.

...

"At least you kept one promise mister midfielder"

The only response you get is a soft hum whilst he's still holding you.

You're grinning ear ro ear leaning your forehead onto his.

"Welcome back Sae"

His face was stuck in his neutral, indifferent expression, but something in his eyes told you otherwise.

"Thanks for waiting [Nickname]".

pls this was my first time writing im so scared...

I hope you liked it haha *dies*

#venna scrolls 📜#venna's out!!!#blue lock x reader #itoshi sae #sae itoshi x reader #sae itoshi #bllk x reader #bllk sae #blue lock

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byoldervine · 1 year ago

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Motivation For Writing

Getting Off Your Butt:

1. Aestheticise it. Let the light in through the curtains, turn on your fairy lights, lay a blanket over your lap, light some candles, whatever you need to do to feel like a writer. The right vibes can go a long way

2. Picture that one scene. There’s almost always a moment you’re super excited about that basically inspired the whole book. Picture it, play it out in your head in full cinematic fanfare, gush to yourself about how cool it is and how everyone will love it, picture a future fanbase going nuts for it. You might get excited enough to go back to writing

3. Set a word count goal. During NaNoWriMo this year I think I wrote more than I ever have in one go. The thing that kept me coming back was the desire to not fall behind. I ended up with ~45K words after some complications irl caused me to drop off in the final few days, and that’s all just because I was adding up the 1667 a day word count goal and realising where I needed to be at to keep up. I definitely can’t stay as rigid as I did with 1667 words every single day, but seeing that you’re only a few hundred words off of a goal is super motivating - just be sure to set realistic, easy to achieve parameters for just general use, like 1000-2000 words per week. I know 200 words per day is a popular one for people trying to establish a writing routine that can’t dedicate forever to the craft

Maintaining Motivation:

1. Writing sprints. Writing sprints are a godsend for me, I like to set myself up in the living room with Abbie Emmons’ writing sprint video on. The video lasts two hours and is broken up into two parts; 25 minutes to write and 5 minutes for breaks between writing, so four 30 minute sprints overall. Having the timer and countdown with peaceful music and an aesthetic background is both relaxing and encouraging, as well as giving me a specific time for how much longer I have to push through. It’s easier for me to say “Okay, only ten more minutes, then you can take a break” then it is to say “Just keep going, we’re not stopping until I say so” which is too arbitrary for my brain to accept

2. Give yourself a choice. If you’re struggling to keep your focus, come up with a finish line and tell yourself you don’t have to do any more work once you’ve reached that point. Finish the paragraph, go for another five or ten minutes, keep it up until your next scheduled break. Whatever sounds realistic and doable without being overwhelming. And once you’ve met this goal, ask yourself if you still want to stop. With any luck, you’ll have gotten back into the zone and will choose to keep going. Maybe you’ll want to take a quick break but you’ll come back later on. And maybe you’ll decide that now actually is a good stopping point. Just remember that, if you do still want to stop, don’t force yourself to keep going. You can’t strike deals with yourself if you know you won’t keep your word and all you’ll end up doing is burning yourself out, which will lead to even less writing getting done

3. Try a new angle. If you can’t be bothered to write anymore, is there anything else you can do for your book? Plotting, editing, worldbuilding, character sheets, one-shots all that sort of thing can still be productive for your book while still being different enough to give your brain a slight respite. It also means less work in that particular area later on

Afterwards:

1. Organise. Clean up your workspace and put everything away so it’s nice and neat for when you come back to it. Or if you don’t need to pack things out the way, set it up in an aesthetically pleasing way so it will tempt you back next time. Let it give you the writer vibe

2. Take care of yourself. Get a drink, have a snack, walk about, stretch your limbs, take a breath, cuddle your pet. Something that gets you away from straining your eyes looking at text for a bit. This is also a good time to reward yourself if positive reinforcement is something you use on yourself. If you always feel shitty after your writing sessions, you won’t want to go back to it

3. Positive reflection. Make sure to tell yourself you did good, even if you didn’t get as much done as you would’ve liked or it isn’t up to a standard of quality you’re aiming for. That can all be fixed later on, and you’re infinitely better off than you would’ve been if you didn’t do it. Be proud of yourself. Tell yourself you’re proud of your hard work and your dedication and your effort. Remind yourself that this is a fun thing you like to do. Marvel over how insane it is that you’ve gotten this far - not many people do - and that you’ve got all this tangible work to prove you’ve accomplished something so many people wish they could pull off. If this isn’t fun overall, there’s no point

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krokusplays · 2 months ago

Text

A Rising Dawn - Chapter 2

Mydei X (female) Reader

Fic Rating: Mature (will change for a later chapter)

Chapter Length: 4.2k

Fic Status: Ongoing

Tags/Warnings: Fluff, Romance, Hurt/Comfort, Falling in Love, Learning to Trust, Sweet, Wholesome, almost no angst, no use of y/n, smut in a later chapter, set before the events of 3.0

Author’s Notes: The fic will probably end up being 30k-40k words long rather than 20k-30k. I'm currently drafting chapter 5 and we're at 19k words already and there will most likely be around 9 chapters altogether with similar lengths to this one. Anyway, I'm so glad you're all enjoying it so far. I hope you will enjoy this one as well <3

Previous chapter

AO3 Link

Summary: In the Holy City, daily life remained the same for the citizens despite the threat of the Black Tide lurking beyond the city’s borders.

But sometimes, a brief encounter can bring about a new dawn for its residents. Chrysos Heirs and regular citizens alike.

Even more so when the Golden Thread has tied your fates together a long time ago.

You did show up.

Frankly, you’ve had all the intentions from the beginning. You never denied requests from the kids in this city.

Looking after these kids, playing with them, listening to their stories - a lot of “I saw a nymph today! I’m sure of it!” and “Lord Phainon is so cool!” - and telling them what little you knew about specific topics filled your heart with a joy and purpose you haven’t found in this city before.

Though, the boy’s request to train… it brought a sense of concern with it that you didn’t know how to handle. It stuck with you all the way to the training grounds after work.

They were just little kids. They should be kept away from weapons and fighting as much as possible and not be encouraged to seek it out.

So you opted to come along. For the children’s sake.

And for their safety.

You sat on the small wall surrounding the training ground and placed the small basket of fruits Demetria gave you after work next to you.

The training was already in full swing when you arrived, work didn’t allow you to leave earlier with all these customers today. Laughter and exclamations of awe filled the air and you took in the scene in front of you.

There was a third kid, a boy you’ve never seen before, but the other two knew him. They were… engaged in what could only be described as a fierce battle against each other with their grins and twinkling eyes and the wooden toy swords in their hands.

Lord Mydei - the fact that he was here to begin with was daunting - stood next to them and watched them train.

The Chrysos Heir’s presence was… impossible to ignore.

He carried an air with him that spoke of respect - or was it intimidation - and might. It overshadowed almost everything else whenever he approached the store - yet it would never stop you from being polite to him like you were to any other customer.

Seeing him around kids like this felt… odd. He seemed like the kind of guy one found on the battlefield, as if all these rumors whispered in the streets how he was a Kremnoan - full of bloodlust and madness like the Strife Titan - had a truthful core to them.

You knew what he was capable of. You remembered.

The scene in front of you did not match that impression.

Lord Mydei walked around the kids, gave instructions, praised them for everything they did, showed them how to move their hands, their feet, told them to slow down and take a break - during which the kids came running up to you full of excitement telling you about their achievements as if you didn’t see any of it.

He was incredibly patient and encouraging with them and your chest constricted at the sight.

How you wished you would’ve received the same kind of encouragement during your own childhood. Even when you came of age. Maybe even some training for yourself so that you wouldn’t have to be so dependent on others.

That faceless soldier appeared before your eyes again. The darkness - thick and consuming - creeping up behind him as he risked life and limb to free you from those cold iron chains before it swallowed him up, left nothing behind but an empty shell-

You shook your head and focused on the sight in front of you instead, observed how the kids giggled and exclaimed their victories loudly, how they pretended to be heroes with their swords…

It was then that you realized… This was fun.

The kids were enjoying themselves just as much as when they were playing hide and seek, they laughed and put all their energy into everything Lord Mydei asked them to do. They wanted to impress him and the way they beamed with glee and pride when the Chrysos Heir recognized and praised their efforts made your heart swell inside your chest.

You sighed as you sat on the small wall surrounding the little training ground near Okhema’s theater.

Now you felt kinda silly for your worries.

You knew Lord Mydei was a warrior but you should’ve expected or at least assumed that he wouldn’t risk children coming to harm.

You looked down and your gaze fell onto the basket with the fruits. You took a deep breath. Lord Mydei had no idea about your thoughts and assumptions and yet, you couldn’t help but think that an apology was in order nonetheless.

———————

He found himself training the kids a couple of days later again. They had encountered him near Marmoreal Palace this time when he had intended to go home after spending some time in the baths.

He told them to meet him here the next day under the condition their parents were alright with it.

There were four Kremnoan kids here today. Even though only two had asked him yesterday.

Now he observed how the two pairs exchanged blows, giggling and calling out how they would become mighty warriors one day and fight alongside Mydei one day. It did make him smile.

“Oh big sis is here!” the girl exclaimed, her attention entirely turned away from the sparring match against the boy, and Mydei caught the boy’s sword as he swung it before it could collide with the girl’s head by accident. Wooden or not, a kid’s head was not meant to stop swords.

Only then did Mydei look up as you arrived at the training grounds. Your basket in your hands as you took a seat on the low wall.

“Did you ask her to come here?” Mydei asked the kids. They nodded.

“Yeah, we saw her on our way here at the store.”

Mydei nodded but didn’t comment on it further. You placed a small basket on the wall and sat down next to it in front of the tree and bushes behind you. You haven’t paid much attention to anything else yet. While your expression remained calm, he spotted an unease - stress - in the way you brushed your hair behind your ear, dusted off your dress and took a deep breath that moved your entire body as you finally sat down.

You rushed over here. Not a single part of your body hid that notion.

He couldn’t linger on it and it didn’t concern him either, but there was no obligation for you to join this little training - playing - session. The kids would’ve managed.

He turned to the kids again.

“Now listen, young warriors of Kremnos, heed my words. Never lose sight of your opponents and never allow anything to distract you from the fight. If you want to fight alongside the warriors of Kremnos, never forget this.”

It did the trick. It always did.

Raised voice. His words an order.

The kids turned to him with their eyes almost glowing in pride and awe, their stances rigid as they tried to copy the stances they’ve seen among grown-ups when they received a command from their superior.

They continued their training, but eventually Mydei noticed the exhaustion in them. They began to sweat, they breathed faster than before and they couldn’t raise their swords as high as before.

When Mydei asked if they wanted to call it quits they vehemently denied and began pushing themselves again. Tenacious. Virtuous.

But still, unnecessary.

“Even warriors of Kremnos take breaks. If you have strength left we will continue afterwards,” he told them and the kids saluted. Amusing.

An instant later and they ran towards you, calls of your name on their lips. You greeted them with equal enthusiasm, but remained seated on the wall. Chatter filled the air as all the kids tried to talk to you at once and you attempted to keep up with it all. Mydei’s lips twitched upwards. Boundaries existed for a reason. Apparently you have not established those yet with them.

Or perhaps, did not want to?

Why was he pondering this?

You reached for the boxes in your basket and when you opened them he saw slices of fruits and vegetables you sold at the store, neatly cut and prepared for the kids. Did you purchase those yourself? Were they a gift of Demetria’s?

The kids jumped at them, eagerly eating them while they continued to talk to you. At least those kids ate healthy food. Good.

One of the boys turned to him, a slice of watermelon in his hands and half the juice on his face, and waved him over. How bold.

However, Mydei obliged.

"Hello, Lord Mydei,” you greeted him when he approached. You glimpsed up at him but then your eyes shifted and fell onto your basket. He didn’t think you saw him nod in response.

You reached into the basket, fingers slow - hesitant - before pulling out a small ceramic bottle. The simple color and shape suggested it to be a cheap one, common, probably your own and not from the store. You held it in your hands as if contemplating, the kids forgotten for a moment.

But then you held it in his direction.

“I… This is for you,” you said, a tinge of nervousness in your voice that you either didn’t succeed or didn’t try to hide.

Mydei tilted his head. “There was no need for that.”

You averted your gaze for a moment. “Please, it’s nothing big, just… take it as an apology.”

He took the bottle without questioning it further, though he did not blindly take a sip of whatever was inside. There was more you wanted to say but the hint of unease - you almost seemed embarrassed - and the kids still being around you kept you from saying more.

An apology, huh? For what? Your initial reaction to him? Or something else he wasn’t even aware of? It seemed confusing to him but he had no interest in flustering you even more.

He pulled the cork of the bottle and took a sip. The moment the drink filled his mouth he paused, briefly, unlikely you even caught his own hesitation now.

Pomegranate juice.

Fresh. Self-made. Not store-bought. Delicious. Missed the milk, though, but you couldn’t possibly know about this preference of his.

This… surprised him. But when he threw a look at your hands, clasped together in your lap and he caught a hint of the familiar red color under your fingernails, even though he caught a drift of citrus from your hair when the breeze picked it up at this short distance.

That meant you’ve taken a bath this morning and prepared the juice yourself afterwards. And after how hectic you’ve seemed before, he assumed you must’ve prepared it in a hurry in-between finishing work and coming here. Dedicated. Not necessary, definitely, but appreciated nonetheless.

“Thank you,” he said and he couldn’t help but think how that smile you threw him softened your face in a different manner than the expressions he’s caught on you before.

He still did not know what you were apologizing for.

“Brother Mydei, can we keep going?”

“Ready your weapons and practice the motions I taught you. I will test your efforts shortly,” he replied with the same commanding tone he used on them before and he listened - amused - how the kids replied with “yes, Lord Mydei” before running back to pick up their swords again.

It left you and him alone. Somewhat.

But it gave him all the time and opportunity he needed to ask a question.

“Why are you doing all of this for them?” He didn’t need to specify that he was talking about the kids. Dedicating her free time to them, rushing yourself to bring them - and him now apparently - freshly cut fruits…

Your eyes widened for a moment. Surprise written all over your features for the duration of a heartbreak until your expression softened again, though there was no smile.

“Most of them got no one else. And the ones that do are still grateful for friends,” you said and looked past him towards the kids where they were giggling and laughing behind him.

“Is it your responsibility?” he asked.

“Is it yours?” you countered nodding towards the training ground where the kids practiced their sword moves again, though the small smile on your face and the gentle curve of your brows showed you didn’t take any offense to it.

You were right nonetheless.

Still…

“I’m sorry, that was rude of me. It doesn’t concern me.”

“It’s fine. I suppose I know what it’s like to not have anyone look out for you or make sure you’re happy. I can’t stay away when I know I can change something.”

Noble. Impressive. But an impossible task to ever fulfill. For every happy kid there will be another, alone, hurt, suffering. The rock will roll down again no matter how high you push it up the mountain.

There was more you wanted to say but as your voice drifted off you kept the words inside. And he didn’t push it.

He looked at the bottle still in his hands.

And took another gulp of it.

———————

Usually people avoided their workplace on their days off. But when it was the place with the best fruits and vegetables it was difficult to do so. You figured it would be a much less pleasant errand if you didn’t enjoy your work so much.

Demetria has always been so kind to you.

She started asking questions one day, polite and curious, after she witnessed you at the store with a small group of kids, buying fruits for them. Eventually, she offered you this job at the store and it’s been so much more fulfilling than being a cleaner at the baths.

Work was work, but the crowds of people at the bath was uncomfortable at best and frightening at worst.

You still waited in line at the store when the calls of your name made you jump with how sudden they appeared behind you.

The group of children you usually hung out with at Kephale Plaza ran up with wide eyes as if something had scared them. No smiles, no giggling, no joyful look on their faces. Your stomach dropped.

People on the streets looked at the kids, how upset and anxious they were but paid them little mind when they saw you gathering around you - an adult.

You stepped aside, out of the line to deal with whatever happened.

And something did happen.

“Calm down, everyone,” you said as they all started talking and blabbering at once, “what’s wrong?”

“Linos is gone!” a girl exclaimed, her cheeks flushed from how nervous she was.

“What do you mean ‘gone’?” you asked, though the way your stomach churned at the thought, you didn’t expect the answer to be the boy getting lost in Okhema’s streets. These kids basically lived on these streets, they knew them better than you did.

“He… He left town!” another boy replied. “He said he’s gonna fight the Black Tide an-and become a hero!” The boy stuttered with how upset and worried he was.

You stared at him with wide eyes and felt your heart drop. You knew Linos. The young boy with the brown curls and blue eyes always roamed the streets with a wooden sword in his hands, proclaiming loudly and with enviable enthusiasm that he would help Lord Phainon deliver Amphoreus from the Black Tide eventually.

Antics you usually encouraged and found amusing, they made the boy happy. Even more so when he catches a glimpse - or even better, the attention - of his idol.

But this… Kids overestimated themselves, naturally and not their fault, but the children knew how dangerous it was outside of the city. No one else ever ventured off on their own.

You swallowed. Something needed to be done. You needed to find him. Fast. You looked at the kids.

“I’m gonna look for him. Maybe I can find him before he goes too far away. Listen, you have to find the guards and tell them about it too, okay? Can you do that?”

A choir of “yes” and “of course” answered you and you nodded before turning around. You trusted them, you had to. Going to the guards yourself now would only waste valuable time. At this moment, you still had a reasonable chance to find the kid before he entered the truly dangerous areas outside of Okhema.

As you rushed down the street leading out of the city your heart pounded in your chest and not only because of all the running you’ve already done.

You couldn’t fight.

You didn’t have a weapon, knew even less how to use one. As you grew up, no one deemed it necessary for you to learn how to fight, their plans for you have always been different, and now as an adult you never pursued it either.

The regret gnawed at you now.

Didn’t matter. You had to find the boy. Maybe you got lucky or maybe the guards were already close on your heels.

The ruins of the outskirts of Okhema looked like a village that has been lost to time for centuries. Crumbled stone, broken structures, and remnants of once magnificent architecture stretched over the hilly area in front of you, while the faint smell of rust and ashes lingered in the air around you.

Kephale remained visible in the sky but his light didn’t reach here anymore. The rays of light kissed the ground on the edge of the ruins but made it seem as if it was too scared to press forwards.

You disdained the dark so much. It only brought images - memories - with it that you wished you could seal away for good. Darkness crawling towards you from the distance like a wave, shadows emerging from it, you locked in place, unable to free yourself, that nameless soldier with his ragged breath breaking your chains…

Goosebumps appeared on your skin as you shook your head. Not now. You had to find the boy.

You made your way through the ruins, climbing over the remnants of pillars and statues until a cry made you pause dead in your tracks. You looked around frantically, eyes shifting over the area until you caught the movements of a Titankin in the distance.

Rational thought left your mind. Despite the cold shiver running down your spine and the sinking feeling in your stomach you ran.

You shouldn’t. You had no weapon, no skills, but that cry has been that of a child and there was no way there was more than one kid around here. And even if there was, you couldn’t possibly ignore it.

And the maddened Titankin has already found the kid too.

You rushed around a corner and paused when you realized just how close the Titankin now was. It walked to the side, its powerful steps echoed off the ruins around you as it dragged its stone body towards its destination. And for a moment you found yourself frozen in place, your chest heaving from your ragged breathing - from anxiety or physical strain, you couldn’t tell anymore.

But then a whimper broke through the sounds of the Titankin’s heavy steps and the numbness in your mind.

Your head whipped around and your eyes widened.

The familiar head of brown curls stood out among the ruins of white and grey-colored structures like a Dromas in a crowd of people.

The little boy cowered in front of the remains of a wall, his sobbing and whimpers echoing off the stone around him and yet, alerting the Titankin to his presence.

Your gaze shifted between the boy and the Titankin. It kept stepping closer, its greatsword in hands, ready to…

You didn’t waste another second. With your heart racing and your mind wiped blank you rushed towards the boy. He looked up at you out with a tear-stricken expression as you crouched down next to him, and the realization you were here - someone who tried to help - barely settled in those big, wide eyes.

The approaching danger didn’t let you even utter a single word to Linos.

A whirl of wind and the sound of moving stone and you caught in the corners of your eyes how the Titankin raised its weapon. Nothing you could do. Nothing. You couldn’t pull away, couldn’t dodge with the wall in your back and the terrifying range of this giant sword.

The despair never managed to settle into your heart, just resignation, but you couldn’t possibly have left the boy here when the Titankin approached just to save your own skin. You pulled the kid into your arms, tried to shield him from the attack - despite knowing how utterly futile it would be - and squeezed your eyes shut.

The sound of stone breaking reached your ears and a gust of wind brushed over your body and yet, the pain never came.

Instead, a flash of bright colors crossed your visions and blood-red crystals wafted through the air when you dared to open your eyes again, before the maddened Titankin crumbled to dust.

Guards flooded the ruins but your eyes were focused on the Chrysos Heir in front of you.

You looked up at him, at the way he stood in front of you and the boy like a wall - a shield - and images flashed through your mind.

For a moment you were back on that island, darkness creeping in, the Black Tide swallowing anything in its path and the Chrysos Heir fighting back every enemy emerging from the shadows until you were safe.

He didn’t remember. It’s been so long but in that instance, it felt like you were back in that exact time and place.

And still, despite the relief and gratitude, your heart twisted painfully at the realization that you had to be saved. Again.

You have been just as helpless and defenseless as the little boy, just as much dependent on the strength of others as children were.

It hurt. And made you feel so pathetic.

You didn’t want to be a burden to anyone, didn’t want others to risk their lives saving you. Not again.

But then… What could you do?

Your eyes fell onto the remains of the red crystals on the ground, some crumbled into dust just like that Titankin, some still retained their shape. You had no idea what they were. Lord Mydei’s weapon of some sort but still…

You picked one up from the ground. The small crystal felt warm in your palm though it cooled quickly.

You put the crystal into the folds of the fabric around your waist keeping your dress in place.

Why you took it with you, you weren’t sure. Because of its ties to Lord Mydei? As a reminder that he came to your rescue a second time in your life? Or a reminder that you were incapable of protecting yourself?

An answer evaded you.

You followed the guards back into the city, the little boy’s sobbing mingled with the sounds of stone crumbling behind you where the Chrysos Heir eliminated the maddened Titankin in the area.

You grabbed and squeezed the boy’s hand when he began to tremble from the tears that refused to stop.

———————

Putting a hole into the crystal without shattering it proved to be more difficult than you had anticipated. You pretty much scratched a hole into it with a sewing needle and while it took forever and unfortunately, cracked a little around the hole, it worked. Pulling a band through it, you wore it around your neck like a charm, hiding the crystal beneath your dress.

You still couldn’t tell what it was. It looked pretty, but given where and when they appeared - out of thin air too apparently - you doubted the cause of them was equally as pretty.

And as you walked through the streets of Okhema a few days later - and of rest as Demetria has told you to stay home for a while to relax, even if it made you feel even worse about how helpless you truly were - a fire burned in your eyes that hasn’t been found within you for a very long time.

You found Lord Mydei near Marmoreal Palace by the foot of the stairs, though you didn’t approach him until the people that were with him left and he was about to leave himself.

A deep breath and you walked up to him. He did wait as he noticed you and you were grateful for it. It led you to believe that what you were about to do had some foundation to work off of.

“Lord Mydei,” you greeted him. He nodded in response.

“How have you been faring?” he asked and the question took you by surprise. Your eyes widened for a moment. “I take it you haven’t been injured during that incident a few days ago?”

You shook your head, though his concern stirred something within you. Something that was equally touched as bruised because it just drove home once more how dependent you were on others.

Didn’t matter. It was the reason you came here.

To remedy this. Finally.

“I’ve been fine, thank you,” you said genuinely and with a smile on your face. He seemed content with that answer and the little upwards tug of his lips made your heart flutter in your chest.

If you’ve learned one thing about him after seeing him with the kids multiple times it was that he was so much more approachable than most people - than you - thought.

“Something you need?” he asked and you looked into his eyes, burning and glowing like a fire - no, like the sun at dawn. Beautiful.

You nodded, looked at the ground for a moment before catching his eyes once more.

“Please teach me how to fight.”

#hsr #honkai star rail #mydei #mydei x reader #mydei x you #my fic

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