#cw: sexism discussed

[theangryman]

One person was banned almost immediately.

The other person was not banned until they made another post revealing that they were posting videos of their partner.

One person was harassed and bullied and told that they were lying.

One person was given advice, told about how they could improve their situation.

This is why kink is not safe. There is more compassion and kindness for someone who admits to wanting to kick their partner in the face than there is for someone who has received that treatment.

[asha-mage]

Lesbian Rand AU?

[Send me a potential AU and I'll answer with five things from that story!]

Oh boy, here we go-

A lot depends on the setup. A big part of Rand's character is reckoning with the failures of his past life and the foundation of a lot the interesting ways Jordan interrogates the gender binary is built on the idea that those mistakes are a remix of Paradise Lost/The Fall. LTT is at both at once Eve and Lucifer. Eve in that he acts without the consent or permission of his other half (Latra Posae Decume- the Adam of this version) and runs of on his own in defiance of her will. Lucifier in that in his pride, he believes he can match or surpass the Creator, by attempting to Seal the Bore with only saidin. As a result, paradise is lost- the AoL is destroyed in the breaking by LTT's sin, an entire Age results where all men take the blame to a greater or lesser extent, for the original sin of one man. Of course, Jordan isn't just running with this premise as simple fact- he's interrogating the idea of original sin, salvation, and redemption and raising inherent and complicating questions. Does it make a difference that LTT's intentions where pure and genuine? That he didn't know and couldn't have predicted the consequences of his actions? How does Rand suffering for LTT's do any justice to those who suffered and died in the Breaking? Is chasing the splendor of an Age that could shatter so easily even a worthwhile endeavor, or should the focus be on letting go of the past and building something new? Does that mean forgetting and forgiving and is that fair?

All this to say is that, I think for a Lesbian Rand AU to work the story would probably need a reversed gender dynamic to the one that is present in the books- which I don't know that I could ever write both because it would veer very uncomfortably close to the most misogynistic elements of our own historical societies, and probably have to exceed them in brutality to work (something I'm not very good at, since a lot of my world building energy is usually directed at reshaping and re interpenetrating those historical societies through more queer and equitable lenses), and because a lot of what I connect to in Rand's story has a lot to do with the specifically queer male reading of it. That said if I could or would do that, I think it could also work very effectively as a queer female reading in the same thematic ways.

Rand and male channelers in general in the WoT verse already fulfill a lot of the tropes commonly associated with medieval witches- individuals tainted by an otherworldly power that is poorly understood and inherently transgressive to the gender roles of their society, as well as threat to the established social order (to put it mildly). It's not hard to translate that to a theoretically tainted saidar and the feelings of a resulting broken world onto a theoretical female Dragon. Rand in this context fulfills a pretty familiar role- Joan of Arc, Himiko of Yamatai, Elizabeth Woodvile, etc- savior and hero to some, witch and monster to others.

My brain of course goes to female Mat to be Rand's love interest in this AU- trickster and guile heroine. Mat's specific brand is easy to imagine transcending into a female character in a strict patriarchy, both because Mat's role in the series is already pretty gender transgressive (as befits a trickster shapeshifting archetype), and because it's easy to imagine again that simmering homoerotic temptation Mat and Rand's relationship inherently invokes, but gender flipped: Mat representing a liberation a refusal of the traditional gender roles that Rand can't quite decide if she truly wants or only wants because she was raised to want them. Rand specifically being homosexual rather then my bisexual head canon means that, I would probably air on the side of it being compulsory heterosexuality/heteronormativity- and genuinely wanting the life of adventure and liberty offered by Mat's promises of running away together.

I could also see Min (again as her Gender Weird makes her surprisingly easy to translate into a traditional patriarchy without loosing core elements of her character) as Rand's love interest- again in largely the same role as the series. Someone who Rand could just be....herself around, who couldn't overawed or terrified or brow beaten into seeing a monster, but rather just a person- a woman sacred and overwhelmed and being crushed by the expectations of a savior, and all the fears of being a monster. Conversely I don't know that either Avihenda or Elayne's relationships would still function the same- not without flipping their genders as well which defeats the idea of the premise. A few extra thoughts (since 1 and 2 are basically just big disclaimers)-

While I find the idea of Lesbian Rand having to learn from Short Gay Ball of Anger Uncle Moiraine very funny conceptually (Moiraine is already a pretty strong riff of mentor characters like Obi Wan and Gandfalf, but genderflipped, and I find the idea flipping that back but keeping the more unique aspects of Moiraine's character to be interesting), I also can't help but find the idea of Moiraine as an older, slightly rattled/mad, female wilder Moiraine with the same motivation as in the series just as intriguing as a mentor figure to Lesbian Rand. It would give the entire series a very different vibe, but that's just a natural outcome of the premise as well. I once said Moiraine is a woman who, if she had be born into a patriarchy would have easily been burned as a witch- but the truth is, the idea of Moiraine as a witch to clever to burn, a witch who is surviving the curse of her power, and struggling to see the savior who may yet be able to reverse that curse and save their world...their is an Appeal There.

It's scary conversely, how easy it is to fit the Aes Sedai in general into a gender flipped Randland, and I think speaks to how effectively Jordan wrote them and their institutional flaws. Mired in traditions, secure in their power, comfortable in ordering the world to their will- a mix between the Catholic Church and an order of magi, angry and resistant to reform and change that alters the base of their power, presided over by ancient and yet ageless cabals of entrenched elders. The scene, easily one of my favorites, in the series, in Fal Dara, is almost sickeningly easy to imagine with the genders flipped- a young woman still bright eyed and scarred of what she is and what she is capable of, with three thousand years of tales of women going mad from power, declaring themselves the Dragon falsely in greed and lust for power and leaving the world to suffer for it, walking into a a room with three ancient wizards who tell her that this is her fate, to be this messiah and destroyer both, it hits sharply and exactly the right way.

Again, I don't know that I would do it, and I find what Jordan is doing with gender and sexuality already in the Wot Books inherently more interesting and....less....I don't know sticky? But it's a fun thought exercise.

[trollocs-ooc]

I was gonna put homophobic but theyre all gay in some way so like.

[kermitteafrog]

Half of all fandom discussion of breaking bad: Skyler White is such a bitch and a whore! Any good woman is content with making her husband a sandwich and sucking his dick every day when he comes home after a long, hard day of dealing hard drugs and obsessing over someone half his age.

The other half all fandom discussion of breaking bad: Skyler White is a unproblematic queen who literally, unironically did nothing wrong! Ted Benekes spinal column just did that! Hiring a hit on another victim of your rapist because you found out that he's trying to testify against him is such an iconic girlboss move!

[bumblesimagines]

When Fire Meets Fate

Part 12

Request: Yes or No

Summary: For three days, the Queen and King Consort of Westeros remained unreachable after hearing the news of Prince Lucerys Velaryon's death. But with war threatening to spill over, they must put aside their grief for the sake of the Realm.

CW/TW: Typical HOTD warnings, spoilers for S2, mentions of Luke's death/loss of a child, hella grief, implied sexism toward Rhaenyra/a female ruler, angst, will (Y/N) Hightower ever catch a break? tune in next time to find out

Alexa play The Family Jewels by Marina and every other song i have on the playlist(s) for this series

~~~

Grief was an old friend, for it and (Y/N) had grown aquatinted long ago back in his youth when his mother passed, frail and weak and miserable. Grief was a snake that coiled around the heart and mind and squeezed until one could no longer weep or breathe. It constricted and slithered about in the shadows in the back of one's mind, lunging out with its fangs eager to sink into tender flesh. But grief was no monster, not truly. It formed from one of the purest things humans were capable of. 

Love. 

(Y/N) tried to remember that as he rubbed his fingers into his tear-stained cheeks and handed his empty cup to the nearby maid. She curtsied with her head bowed and stepped away while another lowered herself down onto the stone floor to tend to his youngest children, Aegon and Viserys. He listened to the clacking of wooden toys hitting the floor and each other, the incoherent babbling only they could understand, and the gentle cooing of the maid as she played along with them, encouraging them to play together. 

He couldn't remember the last time he bathed nor the last time he'd changed out of his sleepwear. He could hardly recall the last time he'd seen his wife, or even heard news of her wellbeing. She'd taken off on Syrax without word days prior but reports flew in occasionally of sightings. She searched shorelines relentlessly. She searched for their son's remains. 

Aegon tilted his head up toward his father and leaned forward, reaching one small, chubby hand out toward his pant leg and giving a swift tug. (Y/N)'s fluttering thoughts halted and his attention dropped down to the small boy, his heart and gaze softening as Aegon stared up at him expectantly with those large violet eyes. He leaned down and scooped his son into his arm, a soft exhale leaving him at the familiarity of it all. He couldn't lose another child. Little silent Marin and joyful Luke. (Y/N) pressed his lips to Aegon's temple and squeezed his eyes shut at the thought of them.

"My Lord," Daemon's voice called out from the doorway and (Y/N) sighed heavily. "I wish to speak with you."

"What about?" His voice sounded hoarse, dry and worn from little care. 

"Pressing matters that are best discussed in private," Daemon answered and (Y/N) swallowed harshly, rubbing his cracked lips together in contemplation before he carefully set his son back on the floor and approached the prince, sparing his playing children a glance as the door into the room closed. He inhaled deeply and turned his head toward Daemon.

"What is it?"

"I wish to fly out to King's Landing and kill Vhagar. She is the only thing standing between us and the throne, the old bitch. I asked Rhaenys to accompany me but she refused without Rhaenyra's command. She's always liked you, despite what happened with Laenor. She may yet listen if you ask this of her, or matter of fact, command it. You are our King. She'll have no choice but to-"

"Consort, Daemon. I am King Consort to Queen Rhaenyra. I am but an extension of her and the throne. I will not do or say anything without her knowledge, Daemon, that is my duty. When she returns-"

Daemon's jaw clenched, his voice beginning to rise and echo loudly down the hall. "Rhaenyra has been away for days, (Y/N)! We cannot push forward without our Queen here and she has abandoned her duties to fly out without anyone at her side where she is most vulnerable! Rhaenyra is a queen, she cannot take leave without saying anything-"

"And she's a grieving mother, Daemon. We just learned our son is dead! Our boy is gone. Mere weeks ago he was at our side healthy and happy and- and smiling and now he is dead. We are grieving our- our child. Rhaenyra was a mother before she became queen, or have you forgotten? Luke- Luke was only barely man-grown. We will not see him wed; we will not see him have children; we will not see what could've become of him because-" (Y/N) felt breathless, heart squeezing and twisting as tears flooded his vision again. He was so sick of crying. He inhaled sharply, blinking away the tears whilst Daemon watched grimly. "If Rhaenys believed your plan to be a good one, she would've agreed. Attacking Vhagar will merely put our best fighters and dragons at risk. If you wish to do anything else than be here, you may patrol the island."

"If Rhaenyra does not return soon," Daemon began quietly, voice tittering on the edge of sympathy and irritation. "The Council's support may begin to waver. We look to you in Rhaenyra's absence, and even in her presence many will still desire your approval. They may be here to support her but half of those men are only fulfilling the oath they made to King Viserys, not her. Consort or not, the Council believes you to be a more suitable ruler than Rhaenyra right now." 

(Y/N)'s teeth grinded together, his eyes flickering away from the prince as his words churned in his mind. He knew many of the men on their Council well; power-seeking fools who believed themselves to always be in the right regardless of what others thought or said. He'd been drowning in his grief for too long with no remedy whilst the men likely argued and filled each other's heads with ideas of grandeur. For the sake of the realm, for the sake of his wife's greatest desire... (Y/N) had to put aside his grief and longing, even if it swallowed him whole later. 

"Check for any reportings of Syrax or Rhaenyra." (Y/N) ordered him, taking a deep inhale and releasing it in a sigh. "I... I will deal with the Council for now."

Setting off for his bedchambers, he gave the servants a list of requests that they quickly scattered off to fulfill. He bathed for the first time in a long while, scrubbing away the grime and sweat that'd accumulated over time before he dried himself and finally dressed himself in something other than sleepwear that felt and looked as regal as his position. He soothed his aching throat with sweetened tea and properly broke his fast with a meal before leaving his bedchambers and heading down the halls to where the Council awaited his arrival. 

"My Lord," They rose to their feet and bowed their heads, all but Rhaenys who simply watched him enter, her gaze curious and intrigued. Few of the lords remained standing as he stopped at the end of the table where Rhaenyra's seat was, coming to stand behind it and rest his hands along the top. They watched, waiting for him to sit. 

"Before we begin, I'd like to apologize for not attending the past few meetings, but I am here now, and soon so will my wife." (Y/N) took in the exchanged glances and grim, almost annoyed looks that passed over some of their faces. He took note of those who seemed more vexed than the others.

"I know these past days have been dark and confusing for some without our queen here but I'd like to remind you all that Queen Rhaenyra has not forgotten her duties to the Realm and to this council. If she cared little for her position as Queen, you all would be home or in King's Landing serving under the usurper, but you are not. Why? Because Queen Rhaenyra refused to allow her father's wishes to be ignored by Dowager Queen Alicent and the oathbreakers who support her son. You are here because you are not Oathbreakers nor men easily intimidated or swayed. I am thankful for your presence and support, as is my wife as we go through such difficult times. I ask for more patience, patience I will ensure is rewarded when this comes to an end."

He watched them all, unable to push away the jittering nerves bubbling up in his stomach. (Y/N) had always considered himself a confident man but he'd always merely been Otto Hightower's son and nothing more. He knew the moment he married Rhaenyra, it'd be asked of him one day to command or rule in her stead for whichever reason, but he simply never expected it to occur so soon. His eyes jumped to Rhaenys, staring into her unreadable yet gentle eyes, and felt himself relax when she gave him a subtle encouraging nod. 

"With that out of the way," (Y/N) cleared his throat and took in another small breath. "Has a letter been sent out to Prince Jacaerys? Has he answered?"

The men exchanged glances once more but only Lord Bartimos Celtigar took a small step forward toward the table to speak, his eyes sliding over the rest of the council in mild irritation. "We... We were not aware an order was given to send a letter for Prince Jacaerys, My Lord." He spoke carefully and slowly. 

A beat of silence passed. "The... The brother of the heir to the Iron Throne has died and none of you believed it to be wise to inform him?" (Y/N) questioned, stepping around the chair and pressing his fingers into the table. The men answered in silence and (Y/N) almost rolled his eyes in exasperation. "Maester Gerardys, please prepare a letter for Prince Jacaerys informing him of what has occurred." 

"Will you be asking for his presence, My Lord?" Maester Gerardys asked as he rose from his seat, his hands clasping together and being partly covered when his large sleeves rolled down his arms. Perhaps one of the few men (Y/N) could trust amongst the council with his age and experience in overseeing the family's matters. "We have yet to receive word on his progress in the North."

"Tell him.." (Y/N)'s gaze flickered away from the maester, his thumb beginning to rub into the ring on his index finger. Eyes turned back to him, peering at him closely. It felt as if he'd stepped into a den of vipers awaiting one wrong move so they could strike. "Inform him of what has happened and... and that once he has finished securing Cregan Stark's army, he is to return home. He is needed here, now more than ever." 

"Of course, My Lord." Maester Gerardys bent slightly at the waist in a bow, the chain around his neck swaying and clinking with his movements before he lowered himself back down into his seat.

"Good," (Y/N) cleared his throat and straightened his back, wetting his lips in uncertainty. Nobody had instructed him on ruling; his childhood had been filled with history books, lessons from maesters and septas, and the basics of how to use a sword and defend himself, but never had it crossed anyone's mind that he'd reach the status of 'King Consort.' He released a quiet sigh. "What news do you all have to share?" 

Long stretches of hours passed filled, hardly filled with much necessary news and rather squabbling and insistence in carrying on with a bloody war. (Y/N) stared blankly at the table for half of it, suddenly understanding why his mother oft' seemed in her head whenever his brothers bickered and complained in front of her. Rhaenys and Daemon appeared to share his thoughts, neither providing much input apart from Daemon occasionally agreeing with the idea of pressing forward without Rhaenyra. None of it surprised (Y/N), but he still wished to be with his children instead. He yearned to see Jace, safe and sound within the walls of the castle where no danger could chance upon him. 

His legs and back were beginning to ache, and his stomach lightly grumbled for food. His lips parted to provide some excuse to remove himself from the meeting but the doors parted and Ser Erryk strolled into the room, dipping his head to the lords in respect before making a beeline for him. "What is it?" (Y/N) asked instead. 

"We found a stowaway in one of the ships." Ser Erryk explained quietly. "The White Worm, she calls herself. She's provided little answers as to why she's come here apart from her desire to have a word with you, My Lord." 

"You should remain here." Daemon cut in swiftly before (Y/N) could respond, rising from his seat as the corner of his lips curled. (Y/N)'s gaze darted to him questioningly, his eyes squinting slightly at the prince. "I am well-acquainted with the 'White Worm', My Lord. I shall deal with her for you. There's no need for you to trouble yourself." 

(Y/N) pressed his lips into a grim line. "Very well, Daemon." He dismissed him with a nod, catching the wince from Ser Erryk before the knight dipped his head again and escorted the prince off to where they were holding the so-called White Worm. He watched them go, hands coming together and fingers beginning to toy with the rings along his knuckles. 

Allowing a long moment to pass, one filled with more squabbling and debating, he let out a heavy sigh. "It has grown quite late." He announced to the lords, savoring the way they grew silent at his words and nodded in agreement. 

Before he could continue, however, a distant yet familiar shriek echoed from outside the castle. (Y/N) clamped his mouth shut and swore he felt his heart twist into itself, his body growing stiff when another shriek followed. Syrax. He knew the sound of the golden she-dragon well. How could he not when his wife had insisted on introducing them to each other? His jittering thoughts were confirmed when Daemon returned to the room with Ser Erryk at his heels; the knight positioning himself by the doors and beginning to recite those familiar words:

"Queen Rhaenyra Targaryen, the First of Her Name, Queen of the Andals, and the Rhoynar, and the First Men, Lady of the Seven Kingdoms, and Protector of the Realm." 

(Y/N) watched her when she entered, breath nearly knocked out of his lungs when they made eye contact from across the room. He'd be a liar if he denied the thought that she'd abandoned them hadn't briefly crossed his mind but there she stood, his wife and queen.

Rhaenyra looked disheveled and utterly exhausted; Her pale skin had grown speckled with dirt and grime; bags had formed under her watery violet eyes; the hair she oft' kept in a neat and long braid had fallen loose from the hairstyle and tumbled down her shoulders in wild, wind-swept strands; her clothes looked worn and dirtied. 

Everyone seemingly held their breaths as she staggered into the room and rounded the table, her eyes never leaving his until she stood at his side. The words Daemon and Rhaenys spoke slipped in one ear and out the other for them both, the space held between their bodies feeling agonizingly far. (Y/N)'s eyes flickered between hers, not a fragment of a reaction or emotion on either of their faces but they nonetheless communicated. She'd found his remains. 

Rhaenyra broke away first to finally face the Council for the first time in days, her chest falling with a shaky exhale. She stared at the flickering candles littered around the table, her cracked lips parting. She stayed quiet for a beat before lifting her gaze.

"I want... Aemond Targaryen." She spoke, her voice shaking and eyes flooding with unshed tears. Her trembling hand found his and wrapped around him, squeezing him lightly.

"That-" His voice threatened to crack. "That will be all for today, My Lords. I bid you goodnight." 

The walk to their bedchambers was a quiet one, a silence the maids ensured to keep as they helped Rhaenyra into her bath and draped her nightgown over the bed. (Y/N) dismissed them with a nod, waiting for them to collect her filthy clothes and depart before he lowered down onto the stool beside the tub. He shed himself of his upper wear until his undershirt remained, tugging the sleeves up to his elbows and taking the soapy sponge into his hand. 

"I sent word for Jace." He spoke first, rubbing the sponge into her skin and cleaning away all that'd accumulated there over the past days. Rhaenyra finally seemed to break out of her hazy trance to look upon him, her nostrils flaring slightly and head weakly nodding. He scrubbed lightly at her collarbone, the water beginning to turn in color. "I made an attempt at.. dealing with the Council, but you know I have a low tolerance for vexing old men." 

Rhaenyra managed to crack a small smile. "I'm... thankful.. for your patience." She murmured, her still trembling hand grasping one of the other sponges and slowly dragging over her no-doubt aching thighs. 

They fell into comfortable silence again. (Y/N) continued helping her bathe, ensuring to wash her hair that'd grown darker in color from days of going ignored. His mind flickered back to his youth as he carefully brushed out the knots, briefly recalling the times he brushed Alicent's hair. But when he thought of Alicent, he thought of Aemond, and then he thought of Luke and how frightened he must've been in his last moments, likely yearning to be in the protective embrace of his parents. His movements stilled, his heart ramming against his ribcage. 

"Arrax was torn to shreds," Rhaenyra said quietly, as if she'd read his mind. "They... They washed up onshore... I-I... Arrax's wing and-" She cut herself off with a sharp breath, her teeth digging into the flesh of her bottom lip and eyes fluttering close. Tears slipped down her cheeks, causing ripples in the water when they fell from her chin. "He- He... I- I saw- Oh, my sweet boy," Rhaenyra sobbed, her knees tugging toward her chest and shoulders shaking. 

(Y/N) desperately blinked the tears away and took a deep inhale, digging his blunt nails into his palms until the prickle of pain forced his mind to focus on it. A habit he'd fallen into back in his youth, back when their mother passed and his twin needed comfort. He squeezed his eyes shut until the waterworks stopped turning and opened them again.

He leaned down to press his lips against her bare, wet shoulder before doing the same to her jawline. "I know, Nyra, I know. You must weep until you cannot. You must let it out now before it can swallow you again. Our- Our boys need us, Nyra. The Realm, too. They need Queen Rhaenyra to rule and protect them." 

Rhaenyra twisted in the tub and slung her arms around his shoulders, her wet skin soaking his shirt as she embraced him. He allowed the brush to fall onto the stone floor with a clatter and slipped his arms around her as well, unable to stop himself from pulling her as close as possible. Rhaenyra continued to cry into his shoulder until the exhaustion of grief and her days out on Syrax crashed into her. He helped her out of the tub and helped her dry, offering her his shoulder to lean on when she slipped on her nightgown. 

"I..." Rhaenyra swallowed, her head coming to rest upon her pillow and heavy eyes threatening to lull her off into a deep yet much-needed slumber. "I love you." She exhaled softly, her eyes falling shut and her body growing limp against the bed.

Quietly chuckling, he kissed the space between her brows. "I love you too, Nyra."

Rhaenyra tightly clutched his hand as they waited for their eldest to be escorted into the room. He'd arrived moments prior, per the familiar cry of Vermax and the shadow that'd passed over the castle. It would've been followed by the younger Arrax if the Gods had been kind to them, a thought the two seemed to share for Rhaenyra squeezed his hand even tighter, her nails unintentionally leaving imprints in his skin. 

The sound of footsteps drew their blank, distant stares away from the fireplace and toward the two young figures who entered. Baela offered them a sympathetic tight-lipped smile, her hand coming to rest on Jace's arm comfortingly before she exited the room. It hadn't been long since they last saw Jace but still, he somehow appeared older. Perhaps spending time with a man such as Cregan Stark had allowed him to learn much and more. Still, Jace's eyes watered the moment he looked at them, and all (Y/N) saw was his little boy.

"Your Grace, My Lord," Jace began and stepped forward, clasping his hands together as his lips began to quiver. "Lady Jeyce Arryn has pledged her support in exchange for a dragon to guard the Vale. And... Lord C-Cregan Stark... has p-promised-"

Unable to sit and watch idly as their son slowly broke down, Rhaenyra set aside her tea and stood up alongside (Y/N), their hands still tightly bound together as if worried if they parted, it'd snap them out of a dream. Jace's features contorted, his brows knitting tightly the moment his parents drew closer, almost collapsing into their arms as sobs wrecked through his body. Rhaenyra cried as well, her hand releasing her husband's to wrap around him instead, pulling her beloveds close to her body. 

"We're here, Jace," (Y/N) whispered to him, trekking his fingers through chestnut curls that resembled his side of the family so well. Jace's arm tightened around him in return, his light eyes squeezed shut and snot beginning to trickle down from his nose. There'd been few times Jace had ever sobbed in his arms after infancy. He'd always been the stronger one amongst his brothers, the more resilient one. But alas, he was still their little boy.

With Jace safely home, the funeral was held at late dusk when the moon slowly began to peek over the horizon. Rhaenyra lit the stack of wood on top of the pyre where their boy would've laid had his body been recovered and stepped back whilst Maester Gerardys spoke some funeral rites.

On the other side of the flames stood the Velaryons, amongst them Rhaena who watched with teary eyes as Jace stepped forward to toss a folded blanket that'd once belonged to Luke during his younger years. He took little Joffery into his arms afterward and the little boy tossed the wooden toy horse that Luke often played with into the flames as well. 

(Y/N) swallowed the lump in his throat, his fingers digging into the fabric of the clothes Luke had been wearing the day before he departed for Storm's End. He walked with Rhaenyra toward the flames, the two parents fighting back the tears and clutching tightly onto the clothes that still held the smell of their son. Rhaenyra pushed her temple into him and exhaled shakily, pressing her hands over his so they could toss the clothes into the fire together and watch the flames hungrily eat at them. 

It was done. Their son was gone, taking a piece of their hearts with him to wherever his soul had departed. But the world stopped for no one, not even royalty, and so the incoming war continued to threaten the stability of the Realm and the lives of those in Westeros.

As much as he desired to crawl back into bed until the world ended, (Y/N) had a duty to uphold as the new King Consort of the Seven Kingdoms.

[purgemarchlockdown]

Kotoko's ideology

(Also Known As: Kotoko has fascist ideals and I read way too many wikipedia pages for this.) (CWs: Discussion centered around Prejudice, ableism, sexism, and other topics that are associated with right winged/fascist concepts)

(Note: I went on this rabbit hole because of This post from Gunsli that covers things I don't cover here. Go read it! Plus this post exists because of a lot of conversations from friends out of fandom, and in fandom, like 74n5n and the affermentioned Gunsli who also helped in proofreading!)

So Kotoko is one of my personal favorites of the cast. There's a lot of things I find interesting and intriguing about her and her characterization and her place in the story.

One of those things is her worldview. I'm obsessed with it to say the least. It's one of my favorite things about her characterization. I find it to be a complex and emphatic look at a specific worldview:

Fascism.

Vigilante Justice

Okay so, fascism as an ideology is something we tend to associate with conservative right-wingers and powerful political parties. In our stories, there's a bit of a mythical edge to the image of fascist dystopia. Something strong and uniform.

Like, a lot of cartoons and shows and comics have the alternate nazi dimension where fascism reigns supreme over the populace, for example. We got many films and shows of the heroes standing up against faceless images of Evil Nazis or Nazi-likes, with leaders who are powerful scientists or soldiers hiding somewhere scheming something.

We can tell if someone is a fascist, we say to ourselves. The aesthetic qualities of fascism are something we can all recognize. Right?

Kotoko Yuzuhira is a (notably afab, put a pin in this) college dropout vigilante.

This is immediately incompatible with how we tend to view it. She's not a faceless drone or general. She's someone working with limited resources trying to hunt down evil because The Law can't do it.

A Underdog Revolutionary, that's how she thinks of herself.

Kotoko: Yes. I hate evil. Hurting innocent people with violence, taking away from others, killing people… I hate all this evil behaviour! The law being unable to judge some sins, there's too many of these cases in this world. Having clearly bullied and torturing the weak, but exploiting loopholes in laws, there's so many sinners who still live in such a carefree manner! Even though I want to change this world, I alone only have this much power.

Kershaw argues that the difference between fascism and other forms of right-wing authoritarianism in the Interwar period is that the latter generally aimed "to conserve the existing social order", whereas fascism was "revolutionary", seeking to change society and obtain "total commitment" from the population.[47]

Robert O. Paxton finds that even though fascism "maintained the existing regime of property and social hierarchy", it cannot be considered "simply a more muscular form of conservatism" because "fascism in power did carry out some changes profound enough to be called 'revolutionary.'"[228] These transformations "often set fascists into conflict with conservatives rooted in families, churches, social rank, and property."

And that's what she...is. I'm not going to say Kotoko is part of a secret evil organization or anything like that. She is an underdog, at least at the start of Milgram. She's a single individual up against society and social order. A Heroic individual standing up against erroneous social structures.

Really, Kotoko presents as very classically heroic, she's directly acting to save people, confident, doing real research, actually finding those who deserve punishment and bringing it upon them.

She's determined, she's strong willed, even when she's suffering she doesn't stop.

T2Q6: Don’t you feel scared of killing people?  A: If it’s for the world. How I feel about it is completely irrelevant.

It's sad and tragic, but she knows that if no one does it then nothing will actually change.

Kotoko: If you brag about hating evil, act against it! Carry on the belief that your actions can change this world! If you only brag about it from afar, the world will just continue to rot no matter how many of you are there!

She holds no attachment, no qualms, no second guesses. She does what is good at the cost of her own self, she's a heroic ideal in that sense. A hero so willing to do what is right even at the cost of their own self.

T2Q14: Don’t you feel a sense of isolation in your current situation?  A: It feels like nothings changed. If the world gets even a little better just by me undertaking this isolation, then that is the role the strong play.

Someone who actually has the strength and intelligence to do the things that no one else can do.

T2Q7: Why did you choose law school?  A: Because I have my suspicions. That’s the majority of my reason to why I chose to study it. Cause it’s unsightly to spout complaints without having proper knowledge T1Q4: When did you start learning martial arts?  A: In elementary school, perhaps. Without enough power, you can't enforce justice and do the right thing, can you?

Who actually acts instead of just waiting around for the world to fix itself.

Kotoko: You keep asking for it, but as soon as it happens near you by your own choice, you all start complaining and evading your responsibility... You're always like this... Always such idiots!

Able to actually handle the problems thrown at her, instead of running away like a coward.

T2Q20: What would you have done if you weren’t forgiven?  A: I’d despise it all. To compromise justice just because you’re unable to withstand the pain that comes with it is unbelievable

Fascism supports the creation of a New Man who is a strong-willed, dynamic archetype, a figure of direct action and bellicose violence. An anti-individualist, he is characterized by a sense of confidence and masculinity, quiet dignity and self-worth, determination, and authoritativeness. With a detachment from romantic love, family background and schooling, his worldview is romanticized, passionate, serious and realist, preoccupied with the honoring of fallen heroes, a strong belief in personal responsibility, national rebirth and renewal.

And there's something genuinely admirable about that intent of hers. It's sincere. She's disgusted at the state of the world, at how horrible it's become. Even implying that this isn't the Normal version of the world, but a distorted, corrupted one.

Becoming light-headed again, it all becomes crazy The normalcy sought for, Fading away, Everytime death comes The soul moves forward

1. The mythical past—used to invoke a nostalgia for a fictional time when the nation was great as it was not yet sullied by the “Other.”

Kotoko's ideology is built on an idea of the world's Unnatural Impurity. The idea that there is something corrupting and poisoning it. That Whatever is causing harm to the world is an External Thing. One that can be beaten if she puts enough pressure on it. At least for a while.

T2Q5: How do you deal with evil that can’t be bested by strength?  A: Force it so that it can. No matter how long it takes, no matter what means I’ll need to use.

So I ask the question, what Does she consider evil?

Sinners

Okay, so she already answered this question, in her T1 interrogations she describes evil as:

T1Q20: What do you think is evil? A: Oppressing innocent weaklings.

Which is a pretty cut and dry answer that she elaborates on in her VDs:

Kotoko: Yes. I hate evil. Hurting innocent people with violence, taking away from others, killing people… I hate all this evil behaviour! The law being unable to judge some sins, there's too many of these cases in this world. Having clearly bullied and torturing the weak, but exploiting loopholes in laws, there's so many sinners who still live in such a carefree manner!

Case Closed! We don't have to think more about this! Everyone go home! The post is done!

... Okay so it's not as simple as that. It's pretty clear that Kotoko's opinions on evil and how it should be treated is a bit...

Kotoko: Treat you like a child? Hah, you’ve got to be kidding. Back when I was your age, I was already the person I am today. I don’t have any plans to let you get away with something just “because you’re a child.” ……remember that.

Extreme, to say the least. She's very "Violence First." Because:

T2Q16: Do you think there are the ‘weak’ among the other prisoners?  A: I’m sure there’s a lot. Those with weak wills will easily turn to evil. The only thing we can do is firmly instil the risk of turning to it.

Which- There's another contradiction! She just defined evil as the ones who oppress weaklings, yet right here she shows her disdain for the weak for so easily turning to evil.

And again, in the same trial, she refers to the prisoners as:

T2Q11: Is there really no chance to start anew for wrongdoers?   A: No way. Once a beast gets a taste for human flesh, it will always come back for seconds.

And continues to discuss the matters of the strong, and how there oppressing the weak.

T2Q10: What is your ideal image of a hero?  A: An ally of the weak. Someone who helps the weak and crushes the strong.

These are two very conflicting ideas. It's almost like:

Fascist societies rhetorically cast their enemies as "at the same time too strong and too weak". On the one hand, fascists play up the power of certain disfavored elites to encourage in their followers a sense of grievance and humiliation. On the other hand, fascist leaders point to the decadence of those elites as proof of their ultimate feebleness in the face of an overwhelming popular will.

And not only that- Kotoko casts herself as an underdog, and the assumption of that role is presuming one as "weaker than" or "having less opportunity/power/skill" than the one above, the elites above her who are stronger and more powerful than her. The Beasts who roam the land. Who will always win, because, in her own words.

T2Q18: What would you do if evil disappeared from the world? A: I see where you’re getting at. But I believe it will never truly disappear.

"Pacifism is trafficking with the enemy" because "life is permanent warfare" – there must always be an enemy to fight. Both fascist Germany under Hitler and Italy under Mussolini worked first to organize and clean up their respective countries and then build the war machines that they later intended to and did use, despite Germany being under restrictions of the Versailles treaty to not build a military force. This principle leads to a fundamental contradiction within fascism: the incompatibility of ultimate triumph with perpetual war.

Kotoko: How amusing! Are you really a warden?  Es: Shut up...  Kotoko: You let their sins off just because they're close to you? You're making the punishment less severe just because they get along with you? What's next? Going to give them leniency for their looks? For their personality? For how long have you known them?  Es: I told you... to shut up...  Kotoko: Why would I? I'm trying to tell you the truth. In MILGRAM, a warden with mindset of yours is just usele-  Es: Shut the hell up! [slaps]  Kotoko: [catching breath] "Violence"... you call it? Being angry at hurting your precious prisoners... [laughs] Ha... It's not even violence at all.  Es: ?..  Kotoko: Weak... You're too weak. With that fragile body of yours, you can't stop anyone. You can't protect anyone. You can't even do your justice. All imperfect.  Es: Imperfect?..  Kotoko: In order to stop someone, you have to squeeze their throat. Without mercy.

There's this sort of...self victimization to it? If that makes sense.

6. Victimhood—casting “Us” as victims of “Them”, who are taking resources from “Us” and demanding special rights.

A sense of frustration and anger at herself and the world for being so weak and pathetic.

A form of political behavior marked by obsessive preoccupation with community decline, humiliation or victimhood

And that these feelings of weakness and shame are real reasons to attack who she views as enemies. No matter if they are strong.

the belief that one’s group is a victim, a sentiment that justifies any action, without legal or moral limits, against its enemies, both internal and external;

Or weak.

Because Kotoko holds a lot of genuine anger at who she considers "weak." As shown above and in Many other instances. She literally calls them "Useless weaklings" in her T2 voiceline. She has this Deep Anger and Bitterness at those who she considers not doing enough to help. To those who are failing to actually do anything of actual substance.

Kotoko: How ridiculous... It's always like this... All of you weaklings always act like this... All of you enjoy seeing someone getting hurt... (...)  Kotoko: You keep asking for it, but as soon as it happens near you by your own choice, you all start complaining and evading your responsibility... You're always like this... Always such idiots!  Es: I acknowledge it. You're the strong one, and we're weak. You're right. But that's how we are.  Kotoko: You have no power, and yet you make no effort to gain it! You're talking about justice, but it just doesn't make sense! You're invested in people's disasters, yet you take a position of "I have nothing to do with it"! You can't even face your true selves!

"Contempt for the weak", which is uncomfortably married to a chauvinistic popular elitism, in which every member of society is superior to outsiders by virtue of belonging to the in-group. Eco sees in these attitudes the root of a deep tension in the fundamentally hierarchical structure of fascist polities, as they encourage leaders to despise their underlings, up to the ultimate leader, who holds the whole country in contempt for having allowed him to overtake it by force.

So, if the words strong and weak just refer to the enemy, and those descriptors of the enemy can change depending on which one is more suitable for the situation. Thus making the idea of the evil that are "oppressing innocent weaklings" be more a subjective concept.

Then...what else can we search for when it comes to determining how Kotoko views who is "evil."

Cause, it's not just because they don't agree with her. It wouldn't have mattered if they agreed with her or not really. Yuno says it outright:

Yuno: Really? If you ask me, Kotoko is someone I would never want to make my friend, though. She’s the type who picks a conclusion from the very beginning and won’t actually talk with you.

Kotoko has stated that she has been tracking Mikoto Kayano since the start. Even though at the time she was semi-amicable with everyone. With Mikoto even being rather insistent that he did nothing wrong at all.

Kotoko: Like me being suspicious of Kayano Mikoto’s actions, carefully tracking his actions, it's all under your permission.

And she's said this again in the interrogation! Saying that she had "her suspicions."

T2Q17: Why did you choose law school?  A: Because I have my suspicions. That’s the majority of my reason to why I chose to study it. Cause it’s unsightly to spout complaints without having proper knowledge

Suspicious about what? About who? She says it's the evil, the sinners, but who is this? Who is this evil? Criminals? That's just the terminology she uses. If it really was just criminals shouldn't she be against MILGRAM? Es? They did kidnap her and she has no Knowledge of their true intentions, and yet she doesn't trust her fellow prisoners but the Guard who locked them up.

"Obsession with a plot" and the hyping-up of an enemy threat. This often combines an appeal to xenophobia with a fear of disloyalty and sabotage from marginalized groups living within the society (such as the German elite's "fear" of the 1930s Jewish populace's businesses and well-doings; see also antisemitism). Eco also cites Pat Robertson's book The New World Order as a prominent example of a plot obsession.

And so, I ask again. Who does Kotoko believe to be evil?

"Your Existence is a Crime"

Chauvinism (/ˈʃoʊvɪnɪzəm/ SHOH-vih-nih-zəm) is the unreasonable belief in the superiority or dominance of one's own group or people, who are seen as strong and virtuous, while others are considered weak, unworthy, or inferior.

Kotoko Canonically Holds Ableist Beliefs.

This isn't up for debate.

22/12/15 (Kotoko’s Birthday)

Kotoko: Hm. The border between the two is getting a lot vaguer. Your entire existence is a crime. And I will see you’re punished for it. That is what Milgram, and Es, and I have chosen.

“UNDER” Doltish “001 Parasite”

Kotoko: “Fufufu, fufufufufu.You’re thinking some outrageous things.To be frank, it’s abnormal. But I don’t dislike it. If only all sinners were like you.”

Kotoko Also Canonically Holds Sexist Beliefs.

This also isn't up for debate.

Futa: Isn’t that obvious? What a stupid question. There’s no way a girl could win in a fight against a man. This is real life, not a manga. There’s too big a difference in body size. And that’s what determines the weight of your attacks.  Kotoko: ……Futa’s not entirely wrong there In a lot of martial arts, they specifically split up divisions based on body weight for that reason. I’m bantam, and he’d probably be either cruiser or heavy.

“UNDER” Obscene “002 Slut”

Now, as much as the phrases "Obscene Slut" and "Your entire existence is a crime" is Loaded. Let's pretend, for a second, that this doesn't necessarily mean that Kotoko, to some extent, believes that mentally ill people are evil/wrong and that women are weaker than men.

For a moment, let us pretend that Kotoko didn't just tell us and go into the finer details of how she views strong and weak.

Cause, there is a bit of consistent framing Kotoko uses when she's talking about "the enemy." Those who contribute something meaningful to society (in her eyes) are ones who "contribute" something meaningful to society mainly through the usage of direct action, physical strength, and physical/mental durability.

T1Q4: When did you start learning martial arts?  A: In elementary school, perhaps. Without enough power, you can't enforce justice and do the right thing, can you?

Kotoko: Es, look. Someone who committed a crime can only realise its severity through losing something. I've seen many criminals, but none of them would give way without pain.

Kotoko: Weak... You're too weak. With that fragile body of yours, you can't stop anyone. You can't protect anyone. You can't even do your justice. All imperfect.

Kotoko: You have no power, and yet you make no effort to gain it! You're talking about justice, but it just doesn't make sense! You're invested in people's disasters, yet you take a position of "I have nothing to do with it"! You can't even face your true selves!   Es: Whatever you say.  Kotoko: If you brag about hating evil, act against it! Carry on the belief that your actions can change this world! If you only brag about it from afar, the world will just continue to rot no matter how many of you are there! If you don't have strength on your own, let me take care of it, Es! I can do it in MILGRAM!

T1Q: What is your ideal image of a hero?  A: An ally of the weak. Someone who helps the weak and crushes the strong.

T2Q14: Don’t you feel a sense of isolation in your current situation?  A: It feels like nothings changed. If the world gets even a little better just by me undertaking this isolation, then that is the role the strong play.

Those who cannot do that and are "unable to contribute" or somehow disrupt the stable world, thus causing it's normalcy to "fade away" are parasites.

“UNDER” Doltish “001 Parasite”

Obscene

“UNDER” Obscene “002 Slut”

An existence that is disruptive to the world at large.

Kotoko: Your entire existence is a crime. And I will see you’re punished for it.

Who are Weak due to a issue in there mental state and need to be warned against the consequences of "turning to evil."

T2Q16: Do you think there are the ‘weak’ among the other prisoners?  A: I’m sure there’s a lot. Those with weak wills will easily turn to evil. The only thing we can do is firmly instil the risk of turning to it.

Or be treated as irrational beasts that need to be firmly put down because nothing else will get through to them.

T2Q11: Is there really no chance to start anew for wrongdoers?  A: No way. Once a beast gets a taste for human flesh, it will always come back for seconds.

Fascism emphasizes direct action, including supporting the legitimacy of political violence, as a core part of its politics.[264] Fascism views violent action as a necessity in politics that fascism identifies as being an "endless struggle";[265] this emphasis on the use of political violence means that most fascist parties have also created their own private militias (e.g. the Nazi Party's Brown shirts and Fascist Italy's Blackshirts). The basis of fascism's support of violent action in politics is connected to social Darwinism.[265] Fascist movements have commonly held social Darwinist views of nations, races and societies.[266] They say that nations and races must purge themselves of socially and biologically weak or degenerate people, while simultaneously promoting the creation of strong people, in order to survive in a world defined by perpetual national and racial conflict.[267]

Social Darwinism is the study and implementation of various pseudoscientific theories and societal practices that purport to apply biological concepts of natural selection and survival of the fittest to sociology, economics and politics.[1][2] Social Darwinists believe that the strong should see their wealth and power increase, while the weak should see their wealth and power decrease.

"The only thing we can do is firmly instil the risk of turning to it."

Kotoko's ideological view is, at the very best, biased against those of marginalized groups or of "degenerate" thoughts and actions, and at the very worst, actively targets them because she personally believes that they Do Not Contribute to Society.

But we aren't done there yet.

Werewolves

Let's take that pin out now.

Kotoko has gone on record that she views Femininity as:

T1Q10: What do you think about the word 'feminimity'?  A: It's one of the means you can take. It's something you can freely choose depending on the scene, so it's not something to cling onto.

Now, as I have shown. She's kinda sexist. Which throws into question how she perceives herself.

Since, I have just asserted the idea that Kotoko does, at the very least, hold some concerning ideas about Women, and I think most people would notice that this is a bit contradictory when she herself isn't really the feminine ideal as decreed by the patriarchy either.

Now, just to be clear here, no, I do not think women should be baby machines. I am a cat who cannot perceive it properly.

However, if we are going by the strict gender binary and the stereotypes associated with it. Kotoko is pretty masculine. She puts focus on physical strength, she's mentally strong in the face of ills, she doesn't show much emotion, so on.

However, as Utena and also The World has proven to us. Just because you present or act in "non-traditional manners" doesn't mean You've Deconstructed the Gender Binary and the Patriarchal View of the World we Learn from the Society around us.

You can be the butchest girl the prison can handle and still hold traditional gender roles.

And the way Kotoko interacts with the world indicates that she still Holds these ideas, even if she has deconstructed them a bit, and since we are talking about her ideology...

Fascist Italy promoted what it considered normal sexual behaviour in youth while denouncing what it considered deviant sexual behaviour.[271] It condemned pornography, most forms of birth control and contraceptive devices (with the exception of the condom), homosexuality and prostitution as deviant sexual behaviour,

Sexual anxiety—as the “Other” embraces non-traditional approaches to sexuality,

But, going further into the way she views masculinity specifically...

"Machismo", which sublimates the difficult work of permanent war and heroism into the sexual sphere. Fascists thus hold "both disdain for women and intolerance and condemnation of nonstandard sexual habits, from chastity to homosexuality".

Machismo, Exaggerated pride in masculinity, perceived as power, often coupled with a minimal sense of responsibility and disregard of consequences. In machismo there is supreme valuation of characteristics culturally associated with the masculine and a denigration of characteristics associated with the feminine.

Futa: Isn’t that obvious? What a stupid question. There’s no way a girl could win in a fight against a man. This is real life, not a manga. There’s too big a difference in body size. And that’s what determines the weight of your attacks.  Kotoko: ……Futa’s not entirely wrong there

"Without enough power, you can't enforce justice" is what she said, isn't it?

Road to Hell

Okay, there was 700 more things I wanted to talk about but because I haven't even gotten into:

Through all of that, there would be one great leader who would battle the representatives of the old system with grassroots support.[1][2] In the fascist utopia, one mass of people will supposedly appear who have only one goal: to create their new future.[1][2] Such a fascist movement would ideally have infinite faith in its mythical hero who would stand for everything the movement believes in.[1][2] According to this utopian ideology, under the guidance of their leader the country would then rise like a phoenix from the ashes of corruption and decadence.[1][2]

Or her ideals of heroism or her view of violence in detail or-

But I think I can leave that to the people reading this. This post is getting really long and I'm trying to still keep it structured. I know all my links are Wikipedia and one Britannica. I had the energy to transcribe my dad's books on this I would.

However, we also do need to ask, where does this leave us?

Y'know, since Kotoko is the Audience Parallel and Milgram is a Social Commentary Webseries.

Well, Kotoko is a character in fiction, and fiction is the safest place to explore this. Kotoko Yuzuriha is a familiar character in the sense that a lot of people are like her actually.

Gunsli has brought up the idea that Kotoko was radicalized by news, and I personally think All the characters in Milgram have underlying right wing ideas and violent views on the world. It's not something...unique to them even. We call them conservative and traditional because to a lot of people it's "just the way the world works." Kotoko’s not special or unique for believing in these things.

She’s asserted multiple times that she’s had a “normal life” and whether or not you doubt the validity of that statement. There is nothing inherent about Kotoko that makes her more susceptible to this. 

And I think those are themes that are worth exploring.

[lastoneout]

CW: Discussions of weight loss, fatphobia, eating disorders, and cancer.

I still cannot get over how when I dropped 30lbs in part because I had a massive IBS flare for like two months that was so bad I was going to get multiple tests to make sure I didn't have cancer and yet I could not and STILL can't even mention it to a doctor(or most people) without them congratulating me. Like there are a few things a doctor can say that piss me the fuck off but congratulating me for dropping 30lbs during a period of my life where I thought I might be DYING instantly makes me hate them. I'm STILL having to say "I got really sick and lost 30lbs" to make people shut the fuck up. I was getting skinny so fast it was scaring my family AND me but whatever I guess being skinny is SO great and I should be thankful I went through hell that permanently changed my body in a way that I genuinely don't like!

'Cuz that's the other thing, I don't like how I look now. I gained like ~8lbs when I was in bed with the blood clot and ngl I started actually liking the way my body looked again. I don't like how I look rn, my fiance does(he loves how I look 100% of the time and I appreciate that endlessly) but even he admits I looked happier and healthier when I weighed 160lbs and now I kinda just look like I'm exhausted. When I got up to 143lbs I was looking in the mirror like "oh, I almost look like myself again, I forgot what it felt like to be happy with my body" like I looked healthier!! But nah the weight is already falling off because 135lbs is my new baseline and there's nothing I can do about that. (Also I hated how I had to get new knee braces made because my old ones don't fit anymore and I had to buy new clothes because the ones I enjoyed don't fit anymore and augh the only thing that is making me like my body rn is dressing butch, if I didn't have that I'd be going insane.) And I still have to deal with people acting like this thing that has legit ruined years of body positivity work is a good thing. Because at least I'm skinnier.

Society is so sickeningly "skinny positive" it legit disgusts me. And like this isn't even a drop in the bucket compared to what fat people go through, and it's why I'm so fucking passionate about fat liberation, I've watched tons of people I love completely destroy themselves to look more like me and I have to sit here and not only feel awful because I love them and don't want them to have to go through this but also because I know even looking like me wont be enough. Doctors still tell me to lose weight because I'm like a couple of lbs outside of "healthy" on the BMI scale, which is insane I weigh less than 10lbs more than I did when I was SIXTEEN atm and I can't say anything because I know they won't listen if I explain that even just being this thin is making me hate myself and feel like shit.

Fatphobia is so fucking evil. It absolutely destroys people. I genuinely baffles me that most skinny people can't see it because it's being used against us too, just in an affirming way and to me that is genuinely repulsive. Every compliment on my weight loss makes me want to punch through a brick wall. Knowing my story is going to be used to bludgeon other people with my condition becuase I lost weight without doing anything so "everyone" should be able to makes me so angry I could cry. It actually makes me feel sick to be praised for this, to know I'm a "success" story, to be lumped in with people who hate the people I love for the way their bodies naturally are, who want my loved ones to destroy themselves, who think I'm better than them when I am absolutely not.

Fat liberation is what we need to work towards, not "skinny positivity" or whatever, this is a systemic issue just like sexism and racism and homophobia and ableism and it must be dismantled if we want to create a better world for us all.

[kneelingshadowsalome]

What if Konig accidentally scared the reader?

Like they were having small disagreement when he raised his hand to touch his face - and the reader flinched at that?

I can imagine him getting flashbacks to his father and how he used to treat his mother. He would feel so bad :(. Like, 'Does she think I'll hurt her? Is she scared of me? What if I do end up like my father?' And have a mini breakdown.

But from the reader's POV, she wasn't really "scared" of him. She just saw movements from the corner of her eye, and her body reacted for her.

Sorry not sorry for the angst ‼️🥰

I’m going to answer these two together because they kind of interlap!

CW: sexism, toxic König, light angst, a dash of fluff

Ooh this kind of behavior would remind him of his mother and only amp up König’s protectiveness for sure! I can’t stress it enough that the more his woman needs him, the better König feels about himself. It’s his life’s purpose to take care of his companion (so much so that this caretaking gains manipulative, stalkish and possessive elements...)

Truth be told, he would view this kind of behavior as you being helpless. And helpless creatures draw him in. König very much has a thing for helpless women. Actually, he thinks it's only natural for a woman to behave like that! His motivation to shield, guard and protect is founded on the need to make himself feel strong and capable (or masculine, if you want to put it that way).

You're scared? He will protect and console you, whatever it is. The more jumpy you are, the more it fires up his protectiveness. This guy wants to be the hero who saves your day. He will do anything in his power to drive your fears away.

You're clingy? Boy, you just gave a starving dog a fat bone! The more clingy you are, the happier König is. (Then he can pretend it’s you who needs him and not the other way around.) It soothes him when you're needy and desperate for him and his company. He will always be there for you, don’t worry ❤️

You forget things and stuff? König will go and fetch that shirt you forgot, even if it's miles away. He will say you should go and rest for a while if you spilled some water on the counter. In fact, he orders you to go and sit down while he cleans it up. He doesn't normally do house chores and cleaning but hey – his woman has clearly just exerted herself so of course he'll help.

And about arguments: during an argument König would be quite calm, actually? He would rarely even raise his voice with you. He's simply that sure of himself and of knowing what's "best for you". You can have your little fits and he might entertain you by giving you what you want if it's something insignificant, but otherwise, he knows he will have the last say if you disagree on something major.

The only thing that would make König lose it with you is probably the cheating scenario discussed earlier... He would be so broken, it would fuck him up so completely that there would be no redemption for him anymore. His violence might bleed into this relationship and manifest as emotional abuse, perhaps verbal abuse, too. He would go outside occasionally to let out some steam (wreck something) but even then, he would not touch you in anger.

If you flinched as an involuntary reaction to his touch during whatever argument you were having... yes he would have a minor breakdown. Flashbacks to his abusive father: definitely. König would apologize if he has been too rough with you. He knows his size and that he’s violent as fuck.

He sometimes wants to squeeze you a little too hard, gives you bitemarks when you two are having sex, he wants to hear those helpless sounds you make when he’s inside you... He wants to own, no, possess you. But he doesn’t want to see you hurt or scared (well, that's what he tells himself, even if you might suffer from his controlling behavior). There's a tug of war inside him: between the need to protect those few he cares about and the need to just annihilate the whole world that has made him suffer.

The last thing König wants is to become a replica of his father. That’s why women get treated differently, like they’re delicate flowers (because König is in fact scared of himself and that he might hurt them), and that’s why his woman will be protected and sheltered and taken care of. At all costs. She will never suffer the same abuse his mother did.

(Yes, König will only, um. Abuse you differently? Aaargh!)

[g1deonthefirst]

cw for reproductive coercion and violence: i feel like we should talk more about the implications surrounding reproductive coercion re the heirs: in a no lyctor trials au, i feel like pal & ianthe & maybe harrow would really be pushed into having kids to keep those necromantic lines going

(i say ianthe and not coronabeth here b/c it's probably less likely that corona would have a necromantic child/she needs to run ida, which a pregnancy would make much harder) but we know that there are at least a few ppl on the sixth who pal is genetically compatible with

YES ANON!! ugh this is SUCH a good point. my thing is like, i don't understand how people can argue that the nine houses are post-sexism, post-homophobia, post-gender roles, etc. when you have seven of eight houses relying on a hereditary system of governance that by definition values heirs based on their reproductive capacity. the scene where harrow uses her father's corpse to shoot down the suggestion that she marry and have kids with ortus is honestly horrifying. regardless of whether she's even attracted to men (something nobody seems to care about), she's a child in that scene and already the adults around her are discussing her reproductive capacity. not to mention ortus is, what, eighteen? years older than her. in a world where harrow's parents killed 200 children for one necromantic heir, there is no way all the scions aren't being forced to reproduce whether they like it or not. considering how the themes of the horror of pregnancy/birth and reproductive violence come up again and again, i can't see this detail as anything but intentional, either.

[gloomybadger4life]

Full Zutara meta and opinions.

Please no wars in the comments/reblogs. I'm only speaking from what I have read and my knowledge of the show. I'm largely ignoring the comics.

Any fic with Zutara as a mutually loving, long term relationship will obviously not be LoK canon compliant.

These are opinions subject to change as I further read and write stuff.

CW for mental health discussion. Heavy topics. Etc.

General considerations:

Please note I personally do not like cheating in my fics or IRL so I avoid reading and writing it. Some fics include it.

Iroh refusing to take the throne has always made me feel wary. While there are challenges to him taking it at least temporarily, the fact that he puts the whole task on Zuko is not something I take lightly. The show does not have him at the coronation. Arguments can be made about him not wanting to undermine Zuko's political sway, or him being a symbol of the war.

The treatment of Mai and Azula in some fics saddens me. Mai is wrongly depicted as frigid or mean spirited. Best case scenario their break is amicable. Or they never get back together post coronation.

I loathe when Mai is used as a jealous villain who hates Katara.

Aang's decision to spare Ozai is pivotal. I don't believe Aang should have killed him. If he wasn't the last air nomad maybe an argument could be made that he had a moral obligation to do so. Him killing Ozai would break him as a person, making him feel unworthy of his own heritage, more than he already does. As a sidenote: I want to see Aang deal with the fact that he probably indirectly killed many people in the war.

Ozai being alive is a catalyst for conflict and exploring themes of inadequacy and ideological deconstruction. Zuko could stumble by going to him for advice. He could be broken out and then rally followers to oppose Zuko.

Katara's trauma:

She has been parentified to hell and back, and in some ways Sokka has too. Her grief over her mother and the intentional sacrifice she made affects her deeply.

Her sense of justice and drive to help others may stem from wanting to make sure her mother's actions were not wasted.

She spent the whole war running on adrenaline and helping others, being equally strong and nurturing.

She overcame prejudice, sexism, and dealt with abandonment issues with her father leaving for war.

Katara's arc of sparing Yon Rah is more about her realizing she has the strength to overcome and heal. She needed to face her biggest fear and the biggest source of guilt. I believe on some level she always blames herself for her mother's death.

She deals with ptsd, and potentially burnout post war.

Zuko's trauma:

He has been abused and raised to blame himself for it.

Any successes were diminished, and compared to his sister.

If it wasn't for Iroh, who really should have tried harder to stop him from going to the war meeting, Zuko would be actively suicidal.

Overall he deals with massive anxiety, and possibly cptsd.

General Tropes and Themes:

- Aang as possessive or jealous: This is common and I interpret Aang differently. In any case he would be heartbroken about the relationship ending. Post war I see him realizing fully the weight of what rebuilding the air nation would be, that even fathering a ludicrous amount of children would not work per se.

- Katara post finale is largely free to pursue whatever she wants to do. She has no self imposed specific mission like either Aang or Zuko. In a lot of works she takes on the task of rebuilding the SWT, in other works she travels with Aang.

- Zuko is all alone dealing with being the firelord. He has to fend for himself in court, deal with Ozai loyalists, etc.

- Some works make a big deal out of Katara being a virgin and it becomes a major plot point. I don't like this being a whole thing, especially if it feels like it comes from purity culture.

- A central theme of some zutara fics is Zuko feeling a sort of devotion to Katara and striving to be better only for her. This can get unhealthy real quick.

- I dislike jealousy and controlling behavior for personal reasons. (History and Trauma) So I avoid fics with a significant amount of those.

Post Finale fics

- Ambassador Katara: I can see this happening a few years after the finale and even in non zutara fics it's a popular choice.

- Firelady Katara endgame: If it's Katara's choice and she is not being pressured I can see it.

- On the topic of steambabies: While I do see Katara as someone who would want kids, I believe she would not want them for heir and spare reasons. That's one of the biggest challenges for them as a couple if Zuko remains firelord.

On post Southern Raiders fics:

A number of fics have them getting together after this or after the last agni kai.

In my mind, this is not the right time. Their friendship is still being built, and ultimately what makes or breaks Zutara is their friendship. The stronger it is, the more I believe in the relationship.

AUs:

- Arranged marriage AUs are their own can of worms that I do not have the energy to unpack right now.

- No war AUs with no arranged marriage could work but I have nver seen one.

- Modern AUs are hard to generalize. Some are just for smut reasons and therefore concessions are made. Others tell good stories and have enjoyable romance. Using the modern world to explore Katara and Zuko's trauma can be great when done properly.

How the relationship would develop:

Best case scenario for me is six-ish years post finale.

Aang and Katara parted ways some years prior. His tendency to self isolate and the weight of his mission conflicted with Katara's motivation of wanting to help rebuild the southern water tribe.

I do not wish to portray the breakup as toxic, and would rather have them genuinely agree that they need to part ways.

Regarding Zuko and Mai: I believe they would reach an impasse where Mai cannot be the single source of emotional support for Zuko. And Zuko cannot place that task upon her. The two realize that they might have worked out if he was just a prince with no claim to the throne.

Zuko needs to learn to lean on his friends, the problem being they have been away and busy. He has probably exchanged correspondence and is in the process of opening up.

I see both Katara and Sokka being ambassadors, with the latter being more on the road and taking over trade. While Katara focuses on policy and diplomatic relations.

Their friendship grows stronger as they both realize their common flaws: Overworking, neglecting self care, etc.

They find comfort and support in each other and have the kind of 3 am deep conversations you have with lifelong friends.

Katara's perspective and work informs Zuko's beliefs and he goes further into deconstructing what he was taught.

A potential plot point would be Zuko becoming increasingly jaded with the nobility and apparent caste system within the fire nation. Having seen the consequences of imperialism outside and inside the nation.

I also see him wrestling with the idea of how much direct use of authority and or force can be justified in the name of removing nobles who block his more progressive ideas.

Katara would in turn become more aware of the material conditions around the fire nation. Poverty. Unemployment due to demobilization. She would feel the drive to help even if her position stipulated no obligation to do so.

Navigating politics and diplomacy might similarly have her jaded with the current system. She would continue to see the flaws and parallels between monarchies of different countries.

Together they would feel safe to have these discussions and be not-alone in these thoughts.

Somewhere along the line they start hugging more, holding hands, etc.

One of them confesses first, fearing that they might ruin things but not wanting or being able to hide it.

A tentative relationship starts and because they are already having the difficult conversations, talking about what it means to be together is a little easier.

They are not perfect and they will stumble, but thanks to their friendship and trust they will listen to each other.

In an ideal scenario I believe Zuko would work towards any partner being free of the obligation of heirs and marriage.

In all forms they fight side by side and empower each other.

I believe in this scenario:

- Katara keeps and celebrates her culture.

- Zuko grows as a person realistically.

- Mai and Azula find happiness. (With or without partners)

- Aang overcomes the trauma of the war and keeps being an advocate for peace.

- The possibilities for side plots and other pairings are still there.

In (scattered) summary:

I can see why zutara works and why it doesn't. It can be cute and sweet. (And deliciously smutty).

I headcanon both as bisexual.

You can write a serious exploration of what it means to transition from war to peace without leaving the nation in shambles. Or how Katara carries her culture everywhere and wants to share it.

I feel guilty about how positive and optimistic some of this is, while simultaneously feeling equally guilty for the dark and heavy themes for a fic I have not finished yet.

Or you can write them being awful at feelings and almost tearing each other apart. (I don't like this but it is popular.)

Katara's bloodbending is a popular theme and it is its own can of worms.

Thank you for reading!

@wingchunwaterbender @krista-kritical @ikuzeminna

[arealphrooblem]

Terms of Surrender Part 5

Synopsis: The queen of a doomed city makes the deal her husband refused to make with the conquering warlord outside her city's gates.

Part One Here

Part Four Here

CW: Ingrained, systematic sexism (not from the Warlord)

“I have a matter I wish to discuss with you.”

The warlord hovered his hand over a rook and then a pawn, considering his next move. The last few visits to the rooftop garden had shown nothing but a city peacefully rebuilding; even so, the queen felt her stomach clench in unease.

“Oh?” she said, keeping her voice light and curious.

The warlord settled on the pawn and moved it. “Yes. The king of Neighboring Country wants to meet and discuss new trade agreements. I had hoped to gain your insight and advice on his upcoming visit.”

“You want my advice?”

The warlord glanced up at her from the board. “Of course. Out of everyone I know, you would have the most experience and knowledge with this man and previous trade agreements.”

“And you would trust my advice?” she asked slowly, game forgotten.

The corner of his mouth lifted up. “Well I wouldn’t follow it blindly, but I don’t follow any advice blindly. It doesn’t make it any less valuable. Would you be willing to share it?”

She chose her words carefully. “I will share what I can. However, my husband did not include me in those kinds of negotiations.”

“What do you mean he didn’t include you?” The tiny smile dropped, replaced by an icy glint in his eyes. “You are his wife and a ruler of your country. Why would you not be included?”

The question took her aback, the answer so obvious to her that she didn’t understand his confusion. “I’m a woman,” she explained slowly. “Trade and the economy were not part of my duties. That’s the sphere of men.”

He stared at her as if she had just spoken gibberish, or in a language foreign to both of them. “I see,” he said after a long moment.

She felt as if she had just disappointed him and the guilt and embarrassment of it burned at her edges.

“I have met that king many times,” she said tentatively. “He was a friend of my father��s before I was married. I could advise you on his personality, his flaws and vices.”

“That would be very helpful,” he said, the coldness of his gaze melting. “Thank you.” He gestured at the chessboard. “It’s your turn, my lady.”

That afternoon, one of her guards delivered a rolled up piece of parchment to her, from the warlord.

“What is this?” she asked cautiously.

“The terms of trade my lord created,” said the guard. “He wanted you to look over them.”

Nerves fluttered in her gut but she did not let her face betray her. “I see. Thank you.”

She took it to her desk that faced a window to the garden, opened up the curtains,  and settled in. Reading it with her limited skills felt like deciphering a code. The slant of his beautiful handwriting often confused her, as did his long, winding sentences. She took in enough to get a basic idea of the terms he wanted; hopefully combined with her knowledge of the king in question she would be able to provide enough assistance to satisfy him and not enough to invite more this sort of advice.

Dinner was accompanied by the Warlord himself, who set them up at her breakfast table. She noticed that he preferred simple food, not multiple courses, and he had a sweet tooth. Tonight's dinner was seasoned, tender fish, spiced rice and soft flat bread. A small layered pastry sat on a separate plate.

“This is unexpected,” she said. “I haven’t had a dinner companion in quite some time.”

He paused, fork in hand. “Do you prefer to eat alone? I can return.”

“No, no. It was not a complaint.”

In truth she did enjoy his company, despite her reluctance to trust him. And though she’d grown more comfortable with a level of solitude unheard of for a member of the court, she often found herself lonely.

He gave her that tiny smile. “I thought we could discuss that trade contract after we eat. Meanwhile, what can you tell me about your experiences with this king?”

“He’s very manipulative,” she said immediately. “My father could see through much of his lies, but he ran circles around my husband and received many benefits as a result. I’m sure he expects to woo your ego enough to get those same benefits from you.”

The Warlord smirked. “I hope he gets used to disappointment.”

They discussed the king in more detail. The Queen regaled him with stories of the type of oily flattery that had won her husband’s fragile ego so quickly. She could tell just by the way the Warlord rolled his eyes or pursed his lips that such flattery would not work on him, that his ego was not fragile at all. It pleased her that the king would be greatly disappointed indeed but not brave or stupid enough to start a war over it. If only she could sit in on such a meeting to witness it herself.

She enjoyed their conversation so much that she forgot his expectation for after dinner. Once the plates were cleared away, the Warlord asked her to bring the scroll, and the bottom of her stomach dropped out. She obeyed regardless, trapped. The Warlord unrolled it out on the table between them.

“Considering the information you gave me, I see several loopholes this king will try to exploit. Which do you think is the worst offender?”

He gestured at the scroll, inviting her to look. The queen leaned over the table, a small knot forming in her stomach. To tell the truth that she could barely read and understand the first paragraph, let alone be able to skim the entire document.

She took a gamble, pointed vaguely at a paragraph in the middle. The Warlord peered down, brow furrowed.

“Forgive me, I must have gotten confused at what section you pointed at. This is a detail of my previous trade agreements in my country. What part did you refer to again?”

A hot flush crawled down her neck. “My apologies,” she said. “I meant this section right here.”

She pointed to a part two paragraphs below. The Warlord glanced down for a moment before looking back up, gaze suddenly cold.

“If you did not want to give your advice, you could have just told me. I gave you no obligation to comply. Did you even read this?”

The knot in her stomach twisted painfully. “Of course I read it,” she lied.

“And yet you point out the most useless parts of the contract that do not answer my concerns,” he retorted. “I will not be taken for a fool, not especially for asking for something that would only help your people.”

“I’m not trying to make you a fool!” she snapped. How did this conversation spiral so fast?

“Then answer my question!”

“I can’t!” she shouted.

Her voice echoed against the stone walls. The Warlord looked nonplussed.

“Why not?” he asked. “You’re not a stupid woman. Even if you could not be present for these types of discussions with your husband — which I find an utterly ridiculous practice — you would still have valuable insight. Unless, of course, watching me fail at this gives you some petty sense of revenge.”

Right now the Queen wanted nothing more than to throw herself out the window before she let him know the truth.

“I don’t care for petty revenge,” she said through gritted teeth.

“No, you don’t seem the type,” he agreed. “So why is this so difficult?”

That horrible, terrifying focus of his stare narrowed onto her and she watched the realization dawn on him in horrible, terrifying clarity.

“Please tell me you can read,” he said.

She jut her chin out. “I can read.” It technically was not a lie.

He tapped at one of the last paragraphs of the contract, the one closest to her end of the table. “Read that for me.”

She crossed her arm. “I’m not playing your game.”

His stare challenged her. “It’s not a game. Read it.”

She said nothing, holding his stare, keeping her arms crossed. The longer she refused the stormier his gaze became. But the fear of his anger was like a candle to the inferno of her shame. Finally he took up the scroll in disgust and rolled it back up. Victory tasted like ash on her tongue.

“Why were you never taught to read?” he demanded. “Was it because of your father? Did your mother know how to read? What sick bastard of a man keeps his daughters from literacy?”

“It wasn’t my father,” she snapped, unable to hear further slander of her family. “No woman knows how to read!”

“What?”

If anything, this made him even more furious. His face glowed red with it.

“You’re telling me half of your citizens can’t read? Half of your workforce can’t read?  Half of your royal court can’t read? The mothers of your children can’t read? Why?”

“Because we don’t need to read!” she shouted.

It was a mantra she had heard over and over again. Mothers did not need to read to cook or clean or raise children or love their husbands. Women of the court did not need to read to paint or embroider or manipulate the court for their husband’s favor. Women did not make decisions — their husbands and fathers did. What was the point of reading?

“Are you fucking serious?”

She stood up so suddenly the char behind her fell over. The lack of literacy was hard enough to swallow without the implication that it was somehow her fault, that she was culpable in it’s continuation. As if she could ever have the power to change an idea ingrained over hundreds of generations, Queen or not.

“I don’t care that I’m your prisoner,” she said shakily. Tears crowded in her throat and she refused to let him witness them. “I am not listening to this anymore. I am sorry my inadequacies have disappointed you.”

She strode over to her bedroom doors and slammed them shut behind her.

For three days she did not see or hear anything from the Warlord, which suited her just fine. A constant ember of shame glowed in her chest. He had thought so highly of her, in spite of their circumstances. It baffled her and warmed her. The Queen’s husband had seen her as a means to an end, a way to the throne, and her father had seen her as a failure for not being a son. No man had ever seen her as worthy of equal respect until the Warlord.

And now he thought she was nothing more than pathetic and  at fault for her own stupidity. She mourned the loss of his regard for her as much as she burned in fury at him for the whole cursed affair.

On the fourth day, the Warlord entered her sitting room. He held a book in his hand. The Queen glanced up at him from her embroidery and then pointedly ignored him. This did not stop him from taking a seat across from her.

Silence stretched out between them as fragile as a spider’s web. She refused to break it first just as she refused to look at him.

“I owe you an apology,” he said finally.

Her needle paused in surprise, but she kept her gaze firmly on her project.

“I humiliated you. It was not done intentionally; I truly had no idea the women here were illiterate. I became so angry because I see that practice as utterly barbaric and cruel. But I fear in my anger I only deepened your shame.”

The ice of her anger melted enough for her to respond.

“I have tried to teach myself,” she explained haltingly. “But my skills are very rudimentary at best. If I could have changed it, I would have.”

She dared a glance at his face and found herself shocked at the sorrow reflected in it.

“Back home, the women are not so powerless and at the mercy of their men,” he said. “It’s not a perfectly equal society by any means. But it is much different than here. You walked into my camp and delivered your surrender with such confidence, I had assumed you possessed much more power than you did.”

“I have more respect from you as a prisoner than I did from my husband as a Queen,” she admitted.

He looked pained. “That is unacceptable.”

She shrugged. “He was my father’s closest friend. I was his avenue to rule, and the bearer of his heir and nothing more.”

“You will never have to concern yourself with him again,” he said, a glint of his previous fury in his eyes.

The corner of her mouth tipped up. “No,” she agreed. “I will not.”

A relief she thanks God for every day.

“If you want it, I could arrange for a tutor for you,” he offered. “To teach you to read. I am already making plans to open up schools for the women here.”

And you wonder why I find you hard to believe she thought again.

“And until then, I thought I could read to you sometimes?” This offer came more hesitantly, as if afraid it would offend her.

She put her embroidery to the side. “I would like that very much.”

part 6 here

Taglist: @cesspitoflove@aprilraine@talesofurbania1@sarcasticlittlebook @hasel-anne @weaverofbrokenthreads @prismaticpizza

[theswiftheartsystem]

(New!) The Swift Heart System Introduction💙

cw: syscourse, and general discourse.

Basic Information:

Collective Name: Refer to us as Swift Heart if not sure!

Collective Pronouns: They/Them, or Ask!

Collective Gender: Pangender, GenderFluid, and genders along that spectrum are all okay with us 👍

We are white, afab and American, keep in mind our perspective is based around our personal experience, and what we have learned about.

Alter Count at the moment: Around 400, but we are aware it’s more, we don’t really care much about alter count all things considered lol.

Host: As of now, none! Even when we have one it isn’t very long!

Origin: Traumagenic

Disorders that we have: DID (what this blog is mainly about), BPD, Autism, C-PTSD, GAD, and possibly OCD (although we would lie to discuss it with a therapist/psychiatrist beforehand for personal comfort!)

Extra: We are Pro-Endo!!!! Although we cannot stop you from interacting if you are anti-endo, We kindly request you please just block us and move on if you have a problem with that.

About Us:

Why are we pro-endo?: When we were first discovering our system we were desperate to be “real enough” and accepted. Although the first system we discussed plurality with was pro-endo, they left the internet shortly after we opened up, and this lead us to being around sysmeds. To prove ourselves we purposely forced ourselves to remember trauma which put us in a worse position mentally. It took a long time, but through working to accept ourselves, we realized how bigoted we were being, which lead us to question a lot of things, such as our beliefs on endogenic plurality. Although we have gone a long way, some of our alters do not agree with us because it got so drilled into our mind that “endogenic systems are somehow just traumagenic and don’t remember” (which is a incredibly misinformed and harmful.)

What do we plan to talk about on this blog?: Really whatever we feel like! We may talk about Syscourse, plural positivity, advice from personal experience, our trauma, special interests and hyperfixations, ect. If we want to talk about it we probably will. (Although we always try to put the proper trigger and content warnings, and if we miss one by accident please tell us so we can add it as soon as possible!)

How to contact us/ask us a question: DMs are normally open unless a situation is happening! Along with that, feel free to use the ask me anything button, comment section on posts, or reblogs!

Mistakes on post: If we make a mistake, please inform us! We are always open to editing post (and do quite a bit), and we aren’t perfect, and especially if we say something bigoted, please correct us we are always open to learning about these topics, and acknowledge that we are privileged in certain ways. We would rather delete a long post we worked hard on if it is harmful then keep it up and go “wellll- it doesn’t affect me personally”

What are we “Pro” on:

We are obviously pro-endo!

We are pro self help. Although we think therapy is beneficial in many ways, not everyone can get a good therapist, wether that’s for financial reasons, none near you, or ableism, racism, sexism, ect in the medical/mental health field. Also it can benefit everyone to learn new coping mechanisms! (Please see a doctor if you are ill! You can only help yourself so much! We do not condone refusing to see doctors when you need to!!!

We are pro self diagnosing! (Just please do proper research before so, and even if it turns out you where wrong, you aren’t faking unless you actively attempt to fake.)

We are pro neopronouns and xenogenders!

People with villainized disabilities and/or mental disorders!

What are we “anti” on:

The trans-Id community. We don’t talk about this on this blog due to a lot of these people in this community being children, although we think what they are doing is dangerous and harmful, We would rather not direct harassment towards children. That being said, please do not harass anyone. (Also wanting to add, we are not anti-BIID, BIID is a completely separate thing.)

Bigotry.

”Narcissistic/Borderline/ect abuse” People with personality disorders can be abusive like anyone else can, but the idea of “[PD] abuse” is just to villainies those with Personality Disorders. This stops making sense when you change the disorder. (Example: “Post-Traumatic abuse” this sounds over the top, but we have legitimately seen someone say this.)

Ending:

Thanks for reading! Have a nice day, and remember you are doing great.

[bbackonmybullshit18]

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☠︎✮⋆˙ Introduction !!

Name: Cole :P or Colby

Age: 19!

Pronouns: he/him

Zodiac: Libra

Relationship status: single, not looking.

Pro: recovery!! (≧ᗜ≦)

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Cw: stats below the cut.

Sw: 95kg

Hw: 95kg

Cw: 75kg

Gw1: 82kg

Gw2: 76kg

Gw3: 69kg

Gw4: 63kg

Gw5: 57kg

Gw6: 50kg

Ugw: 46kg

BMR: 1500 cal

Calorie limit: 800 cal

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{¬ºཀ°}¬ important to note!

★ I support neopronouns, xenopronouns, they/them, it/its and any other pronouns! It's not my business what you go by and it's not that fucking deep either (≧ᗜ≦) if you only support he/him and she/her then politely please do not dm me or comment on my posts. ★

★ I am a transgender man and if you do not support transgender people or the LGBTQ+ community I do not want to hear from you, do not interact with me at all. I am not a patient guy and i will not sit and listen to you blantantly disrespect my brothers and sisters, do not expect a respectful discussion from me. ^_< -★

★ we do not support racism, ableism, sexism or discrimination of ANY kind on this blog. I don't wanna hear anyone talking shit about anyone, whether that is an oppressed group or not. ★

★ I respect dark humour but please make it actually funny, if your just gonna say "lol 🍇" you'll be blocked and reported. Pls use ur brain ★

★ finally, make sure to use Content Warnings and Trigger Warnings correctly. ⚠️ do not post pictures of SH, su1c!d3 vents, or personal lore drops without the appropriate warnings. I might have one hell of an 3d but I'm not here to get depressed and d¡3 okay?★

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I know that was probably a long intro but I think it's important for you to all know where I stand with certain things considering our ridiculously apathetic online world nowadays.

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[purgemarchlockdown]

Milgram and The Rose Bride

(CWs: Child Abuse, Cults, Unhealthy Relationships, Bullying, Sexism, Discussions of Ownership in the context of Marriage, minor mentions of sexual abuse and minor mentions of sexual abuse in relation to Minors)

(Spoilers for Utena!)

Alright so, since I'm putting this on the Milgram blog, most likely most people who see this don't know what the Rose Bride is and what that means so lets answer that question.

The Rose Bride is a concept in the 90s Psychological Shoujo Anime Revolutionary Girl Utena, in which the main premise is that a bunch of highschoolers are dueling for marriage (ownership) of the Rose Bride so that they can revolutionize the world.

Now, the thing is, The Rose Bride is a Real Person, and the implications of her ownership and the environment that Allows for that to happen are explored through the series, and the reason why I'm bringing it up in relation to Milgram is this.

"In the end, all girls are the rose bride."

Let's talk about Mahiru for a bit since her being so focused on romantic love makes it a lot easier to explain what I mean by this.

In T1 we get this interrogation from Mahiru:

T1Q20: What do you think about smoking? I've never smoked before, but I might copy him if who I love smokes.

This is a deeply concerning sentence, Mahiru has just stated that she is willing to do something incredibly physical destructive to herself if the person she loves is doing the same. This connects back to her thoughts on having "matching love."

We fought sometimes, I was happy to get hurt Let's have matching pain, this sickness is pretty bad This is a claim of responsibility From the two of us with matching love

Now, the Rose Bride has to anything the person who is engaged to her tells her to do. The Rose Bride is not allowed any sort of Autonomy or Agency.

(Transcript Link for Utena Scripts)

Touga:  The Rose Bride, cooking? Touga:  You shouldn't do such things as cooking. Touga:  You should only take care of the roses here. Touga:  This birdcage is your territory. Touga:  And you are the beautiful little bird which lives here. Touga:  I want to possess this birdcage, and everything in it.

Touga:  Himemiya Anthy is the Bride of the victor of the Duel. Touga:  While she was engaged to you, the Code required her to obey you.

I Love You:

What am I supposed to do now? If you won’t tell me, I can’t be me

Mahiru is also probably the most traditionally feminine out of the entire female cast. With her priorities being love, romance, and having children.

(Mahiru Interrogation)

T2Q1: What's your opinion on Marriage? Mahiru: It's something I really dream of.

T2Q10: Do you like children? Mahiru: Yup. I always dreamed of having the older being a girl, and the younger being a boy.

Mahiru is willing to do Anything for love, even if it gets her hurt in the process. That's what she's Supposed to want, that's what is Supposed to bring her joy, that's what is Supposed to bring everyone joy. (Mahiru T1 VD)

Es: I honestly have no interest in those matters.  Mahiru: What? No, no. There’s no such thing as that. Being in love is like a landmine. It’ll explode someday, you know? The only thing that differs is whether it happens earlier or later in life. It’ll happen to you too. Even if you don’t have any interest in it now, one day it’ll explode for you as well. All because you’ll have that fateful encounter with your special someone.

Love is what Everyone Wants and if you say you Don't you just haven't found the right person.

Mahiru: Yeah, yeah. You’ll deny it at first. I mean, I was like that as well. Before then, I always admired soap operas and shoujo manga because I thought that they depicted a world different from our own. 

Voice:  Once upon a time... Voice:  ...there was a princess grieving over the deaths of her mother and father. Voice:  Before this princess appeared a prince traveling upon a white horse. Voice:  His appearance gallant, and his smile gentle, the prince enveloped the princess

The amatonormativity in Mahiru's worldview is clear. People are Supposed to fall in love and have the Normal Idealized Heterosexual Romance and there's Nothing Else Outside of That At All.

Mahiru: Yeah, yeah. You’ll deny it at first. I mean, I was like that as well.

Anthy:  But I've been engaged to you, Utena-sama. Utena:  I've told you to stop mentioning stuff like "engagement" and the "Rose Bride." Anthy:  Nevertheless... Utena:  Look, no matter how you look at me, I'm a regular wholesome girl. Utena:  I'm only interested in wholesome boys, not a bride or stuff like that.

And Mahiru does a lot to preserve a "marketable" quality to her actions and behavior. TIHTBILWY is formatted like a magazine, something that is sold and bought by consumers. Erasing the messiness of her relationship or even Romanticizing those qualities to seem appealing.

Giving you love to the point of pulling you down It's just because I still get worried, please forgive me Even when I test you, even the times we do the breakup ritual, Is because I love you

Voice:  but because of the strength of her admiration for the prince, Voice:  the princess made up her mind to become a prince herself! Voice:  But is that really good for her?

The story of the Prince in Utena is one that is a fabrication, it hides and excludes multiple Very Important parts of the story all in the favor of portraying the Ideal Fairytale Heterosexual Romance.

Unlike Utena who chooses to become a "Prince" (which is a concept I'll get into in a bit.) Mahiru is trying to make Herself the Rose Bride. She orientates her life around who she loves, she's willing to accept a lot of abuse for the sake of an Ideal Relationship, she even actively downplays her intelligence and strength! Something that is explored in detail by this post by archivalofsins you should check out.

Now that isn't to say Mahiru isn't a horrible partner. She is, and this is why. Mahiru is Expecting this sort of incredibly idealistic fairytale romance from her partner, an ideal that no person can possibly live up to without harming the people they care about and themselves!

Do you really think you know what love is? If you do, let's just overheat together The things that I only want to say to you, and the things that I want from you Is love

My emotions are out of control, that’s inconvenient? I don’t care!

You can't live up to this and you shouldn't want to! It's an unrealistic and unachievable ideal with a horrific power imbalance to boot! Yet Mahiru is Trying to conform to these ideals, trying to conform to the unrealistic expectations of women and relationships in society, and that's why she's here in the first place.

"He who believes friendship exists is a fool."

So these toxic and unhealthy ideals and expectations are at the core of Mahiru's character and her situation. But there ideals are perpetuated by an environment that promotes this sort of behavior, one that isn't unique to Mahiru's situation.

Muu Kusunoki is a 16 year old teenage girl who is both a victim of bullying and someone who bullies others for her own gain.

She also might of had a homoromantic relationship with her murder victim.

Let’s meet up inside the pain, a place just for me Postmortem makeup to hide my heart, how to solve it is a secret The stabbing of the little devil’s voice, counterattack being a suicide note “I love YOU”

I wonder who that reminds me of.

I'll get into Shiori in a second, but it's important to note that Muu introduces a concept that's present in Mahiru's story but is particularly present in Muu, the concept of the cycle.

Saionji:  No... I was to be the one to rescue her from the coffin this time. Saionji:  No! I am the one who will save her this time. The castle said to contain eternity... Saionji:  the power to revolutionize the world...

The concept of eternity and nostalgia in Utena tends to be depicted as a coffin, one you need to break out of to grow.

Touga:  If the egg's shell does not break, the chick will die without being born. Touga:  We are the chick; the egg is the world. Touga:  If the world's shell does not break, we will die without being born. Touga:  Break the world's shell! Touga-Juri:  For the sake of revolutionizing the world!

The duelists want the Rose Bride so that they can gain the power to revolutionize the world. Who she is does not Matter as much as what she can Give Them.

Now, this idea is particularly present in characters like Shidou and Kotoko who position themselves as saviors, not for the benefit of others but for what they Get out of that arrangement, thematically fitting the concept of the prince.

However, Muu is not the prince, she is not a savior. In fact she always positions herself as the victim, as someone pitiful and weak. (Crying B)

Muu: Hey… Prison guard, when you say “I”… Who are you talking about? Es: [breaking down]  Muu: Prison guard? Es: [stumbles]  Muu: Prison guard. What’s wrong? Prison guard! [shakes Es] Hey! Prison guard! Es: Shut up! Don’t touch me! Muu: [cries] You’re so cruel… I… Even though I was just worried about you… [cries again] I can’t take it anymore. I hate you, prison guard! 

Es pain and breakdown is caused by something Muu said, and yet when Es very sharply tells her not to touch them because their uncomfortable with it. Muu immediately starts crying and talking about how much They got hurt because of what they did, when Es is currently unresponsive due to what she did to them, albeit unintentionally.

Muu needs to to be the victim, After Pain shows all the bad things that happened to her and not Any of the bullying she participated in. It's Not My Fault is a whole song about how everything she did was right actually and that everyone else was wrong.

Now, Muu isn't a master manipulator or anything. She's an impulsive 16 year old. If Muu was a master manipulator she wouldn't be here, would she? She'd be still in school taking the honey up as she was before Rei did whatever she did.

Muu gains power by being pitiful and weak so she'll be loved, and by its' very nature it's self-destructive. She cannot be Happy because if she Was this wouldn't work anymore. She Must be in a worse situation, she must be the victim, or else no one would pity and love her.

I am innocent as everybody desires

Juri: You're just like Shiori... Juri: ...cruelly innocent.

Muu cycles from being "weak and pitiful" to being "queenly and powerful" and tends to hurt herself in the process. This attempt at grabbing power and love through pity Harms Muu, and she seems to even be drowning in a lot of self-hatred and self-pity, and is looking for external validation to confirm that she's "good."

But I guess some of it is my faultMaybe it’s ok as it is I want to feel “alive”, is it ok if I breathe?

Hey, what if If I am a bad girl Don’t hate me. Don’t even try to proof from “After Pain”

And, in an attempt to gain power and control, Muu traps herself in a coffin.

Shiori: This is me, the real me! Shiori: And not the underdog that was living a miserable life in the shadow of the bright shining Juri! Shiori: The real me that surpasses the light. Shiori: Yes, this is the me that controls Juri.

But, it isn't all her fault.

Again, Muu really was bullied, horribly so if were judging by her lyrics in After Pain and the sequences we see in it.

If I was gone, If I had just disappeared I overheard, I found out How much I’m not needed

T1Q4: Is there something you hate? Scary people and ghosts. And right now, school.

Muu isn't lying about this, and Rei isn't fully sympathetic either, she did Hurt Muu and Muu really did want to apologize to her.

T1Q9: Do you have apologetic feelings for who you killed? A: The person who did the wrong thing first should apologize.

Shiori: Juri-san was so kind to me. Shiori: But I thought she was kind to me because she looked down on me, Shiori: and that she had pity on me for being plain and useless. Shiori: That's pathetic! Shiori: So I wanted to change my relationship with Juri-san. Shiori: But what I did with him made me more miserable than before. Shiori: I should have wanted it for myself! Shiori: But now... Shiori: Now I'm on equal terms with her. No, I've won! Shiori: I always had a place in Juri-san's heart. Shiori: I'm the winner! Shiori: What shall I do? I'm so delighted to know my friend's secret I almost can't bear it! Shiori: She suffered alone, looking at my picture in secret... Shiori: That was Juri-san? Poor thing! Shiori: No good! It's still no good! Shiori: How could you look at me like that?!Shiori: Why did it all turn out this way?

The school as a whole is letting a horrible environment of bullying and toxicity be left to rot and fester. You Really Can't create a healthy friendship in a world like that, it just won't let you. If your not friends with someone because you gain something from them, you'll suffer.

Muu: Wow, poor thing,.. I’ll teach you! Friends aren’t like that, you know. Rather than using each other for something, we just get along because we’re comfortable around each other. That’s all. Es: Well, I’m sorry about that. Muu: Haruka-kun is really nice! He accepts anything I say, he listens to anything I tell him. For me, that’s really comfortable. Es: And that’s… “friendship”? Muu: What do you mean? Of course we’re friends! Haruka-kun is happy with it, so it only has benefits for both of us! Es: I, as someone who has no friends, can’t judge, of course, but isn’t that just exploitation? Muu: Exploitation…? Um, I don’t really understand, but… I do help him pick out clothes [in return], and I recently gave him a hairpin I didn’t need anymore as a hand-me-down!

Akio:  But sincerity by itself changes nothing. Akio:  Without power, one finds themself merely depending on others to live.

Jackalope describes this relationship as a "Master-Servant" relationship and it seems like this is the type of friendship Muu is familiar with. She's emulating how her friendships were in school, just with someone else as the servant and her as the master.

T1Q1: What is a friend? A: Someone who properly listens to what I say.

Now this doesn't completely absolve her obviously, what she did was still Very Bad and even though she Breaks the hourglass in her MVs. She doesn't really leave it.

Muu does not want to accept responsibility for her actions, she believes herself to be justified and in the right, even when she has Done Wrong.

This unwillingness to accept when something she did is wrong and the unhealthy environment of Milgram that assigns strict moral value to people's actions and has no nuance in its judgement...leads her back into the cycle she was trapped in.

“A girl who cannot become a princess is doomed to become a witch.”

Now we've tackled the gender roles and horribly toxic cycles and ideals, so, what happens when you Can't work within those confines, or even want to break out of them? Just, hypothetically, if you cannot become a princess (which is everyone because the ideal of a princess is so incredibly unrealistic that anyone who aspires to be it would destroy themselves in the process) or Don't want to be a princess, what happens?

Well.

You become something Other.

Something Evil and Unnatural.

Something that needs to be Punished and Harmed.

So, now, this is where I have to mention that Utena as a show deals with underage sexual abuse, I didn't mention this for the other sections since they were not as relevant to those discussions. However since this section deals with the abuse received by the Rose Bride it feels important to mention.

I will not be referring to it in the context of Amane's due to how we don't have information in the text pointing to Amane being a csa victim. This is for the sake of Tact, as it feels wrong to speculate about it here and I do not feel like I'm the right person to examine this.

It will, again, be mentioned and alluded to, so stay safe and do what's good for your health.

So, Amane Momose is repeatedly dehumanized throughout her story.

This is a consistent theme with her, she is treated as something subhuman and terrifying.

In Purge March, Amane is consistently depicted as scary, threatening, or otherwise evil.

There's even a section in her T2 VD where Amane calls herself "evil," though it is done in a roundabout way while she's talking about Shidou (who I will get to in a bit.)

A: Both pain and illness are trials. According to our teachings, those who run from them are the worst evil there is. That’s one of the four great principles. No matter who you are, that cannot be forgiven. E: What are you…? A: Oh – speaking of which, there is one among the prisoners right now. An evil existence that’s trying to steal people’s trials away from them.

Shadow:  The witch roams this world of darkness even now. Shadow:  Seeking the young and noble, to sacrifice them anew! Shadow:  Surely the light presents an obstacle to the witch, to her dominion over the dark. Shadow:  Beware! Beware! She is still somewhere in this world...

Not only that, but Amane is The Cat, a symbol constantly associated with sin and impurity throughout the MVs with Kazui and Yuno.

And is implied to have actually Been asked if she was human by her parents.

(Amane T1 VD)

Amane: Yes. It is only natural for a person(/human) to apologize to another for breaking a promise. Es: … Amane: Why are you looking so doubtful? Are you not human?

I promise! A good girl that keeps a promise is like, mwah!

Amane is not to be considered human, she's even collared and leashed in her Prisoner design, the medal and bow on her outfits in the MVs being another "collar" of sorts.

Amane Needs to be Restrained and Domesticated or else she'll bring harm to the people around her. She isn't good enough to be a "good girl" and seems to Know This.

Only if, only if, only if I could be a good girl

It's always "I can be a better girl" or "I can be a good girl" and not "I am a good girl," and the line above implies its impossible for her to be one. It's not something she can do.

When she gets punished by her parents its to make her a "better girl," and to "change" her into a "good girl." It is love, for they are not leaving her to die as an animal.

(Amane Interrogations)

T2Q9: What does love mean to you? A: To spread mercy with no limits.

But it’s not scary at all, because it’s love I can really think it’s great. See isn’t it a great thing?

Even though these punishments keep on Almost Killing Her!

It's what she needs to go through to be good! And even if she doesn't even believe its possibly anymore what else can she do? Run? Running away from trials is a sin! One of the worst there is! She can't allow herself to be more sullied than she already is.

Plus she knows this is love, she isn't scared anymore, it's childish to be scared of it.

Akio:  A child like you can't appreciate my ideals. Akio:  The Rose Bride exists because of ideals you don't comprehend.

Plus there's a sort of comfort in it, she knows what happens next. She idealizes Milgram somewhat in T1, believing that it's possible for this world, that resembles her abusive environment so much, could be Good.

Amane: Ah, I am looking forward to it! Seeing whether your judgement will align with that of these higher standards! If that is the case, maybe Milgram would be the right world for us to live in, rather than the outside world! Milgram relies on your judgement, isn’t that right? In that case, you could become the mediator for a far more righteous world!!

There's a comfort in Milgram's strict forgiven/unforgiven verdict system with a (theoretical) possibility of growth! And she later takes comfort in the same religious doctrine that Harmed her when Es does declare her as unforgiven.

If your so used to a situation, even if it harms you, why would you ever want to leave it? It's scarier if you leave it, you don't know what will happen next. At least at home, Amane knows what to do so she can get off a bit longer without getting hurt.

If you become a bad girl, monsters will come out This is the magic that stops that from happening

Akio:  Anthy, the sword. Akio:  That's right. You're a good girl, Anthy.

Amane's suffered for twelve or so years, an eternity trapped in a coffin. A cycle of abuse and pain and horror and fear. Why would she Ever want to leave it when what she's seen of the outside world is so horrible?

Amane: In fact, there have been people who said that to me. I’ve been told things like, “You’re being deceived.” “You can still make it right now.” “You’re crazy.”

People are always positioning themselves as stronger than her, people are always positioning themselves as smarter than her, people are always positioning themselves as Her Prince.

Shidou: I…… I just don’t understand. If everything about MILGRAM is true…… why did a child like you have to become a murderer? Just imagining what sort of circumstances must have led to that, it makes me so sad…… Amane: ……*sigh*. Is that right. I don’t think I’m going to get along with you, Shidou-san. I don’t agree with the fact you refuse to acknowledge that I have my own free will, and that I should be held accountable for my actions, just because I’m a child. I may have only been alive for 12 years, but all the choices I’ve made, even if they weren’t the best ones, were entirely my own. What point is there in you getting sad when I have no regrets myself? ……please give me back my test. It seems you don’t have the concentration levels required to be my teacher. I’m going to get Kotoko-san to teach me instead. Shidou: Amane…… I don’t think that’s true. However smart you may be…… you’re still just a child.

Utena:  Cut it out with that "Rose Bride" or "possession" nonsense. Utena:  That girl is an ordinary girl named Himemiya Anthy! Touga:  Is she? Touga:  Is it true that you're an ordinary girl? Utena:  You don't like it, do you? Utena:  Being the Rose Bride or whatever... Anthy:  I... Utena:  Go ahead, speak your mind! Anthy:  My mind... Utena:  Yeah! Utena:  You hate being treated as the Rose Bride, right? Utena:  Tell him clearly! Anthy:  All right. Anthy:  I hate being treated as the Rose Bride. Utena:  What's so funny?

Amane: You are treating me as a child after all. Because I’m a child, you believe that I must have been brainwashed. It’s not like that. I, too— children, too, understand everything! Please don’t just decide that people must be unhappy.

What she wants doesn't matter! When has it ever mattered? The people who say it does, don't like it when she acts in a manner they don't expect and her parents have made it Very Clear that what she does isn't important to them.

Any sort of happiness she could possibly get tends to come from things that are outside of her cult. And because of that, she isn't supposed to have them, and she is wrong for wanting them in the first place.

And yet...Amane cares so much about having free will and autonomy though, it's her main argument in her T1 VD and her biggest problem with her treatment.

Amane: I see. Then, are the things that I as a twelve-year-old think irrelevant? Are you going to cast aside the feelings that I know I have in this very moment, purely based on the fact that I have not yet lived for a very long time? Judging these things based on someone’s age will not take you very far. Do I, at age twelve, not have my own will?

That's the thing with Amane Momose, she doesn't want to be a "princess."

T2Q13: If you could be reborn, would you still choose to be yourself? A: Obviously.

She wants to stay as her, no matter what. In spite of all of this she doesn't want to be anything else But Her. Even if it gets her hurt.

Amane helped the cat because she wanted to, she saw it hurt and couldn't look away.

Utena:  Hey, save her! Utena:  It's too cruel! Utena:  Save her! Utena:  Save her...

And in the eyes of god, she was wrong for doing so.

Dios:  She can no longer be saved.

’Tis ordained, thou shall follow thine destiny

But again, Amane doesn't want to die.

T1Q12: What is the meaning of life? A: I think it is something you learn for the first time when you look behind yourself when it ends. I do not want to have regrets then, so I live on with all my might.

This was the tipping point of her, how much more is she willing to suffer? How much longer is she willing to stay here? Because she will die, it's not an if, its a when.

So, she decides, to break out of her coffin, and while it is partially due to how she was given a righteous reason to kill her mother. It is a crime that is mainly motivated by self-preservation and hatred.

Amane: Furthermore, isn’t it condescending of you to assume that just because I happen to be a child, I am incapable of hating someone enough to kill them?

Unfortunately for her, the audience isn't as willing to accept that.

I talk about it in more detail over here but we are Constantly positioned in the place of her abusers. From framing to her opinions on us, ever since we voted her guilty in T1 for the primary reason of "making her realize her mistakes." we mimic her parents.

Since she cannot become a princess, she becomes a witch, and is forced right back into that cycle she desperately tried to escape.

And Someday, Together, We'll Shine

So, that's a bit of a downer. But even so we have hope!

It's not exactly easy when the system built is so counter-productive to everyone's wellbeing and development that it often makes them worse instead of better.

But Amane has made a promise to live. Muu Does want to have genuine relationships with the people around her. And Mahiru has admitted her relationship wasn't as ideal as she initially thought.

And sometimes, you just need to see a possibility for something outside of all this to be able to get out of it.

Anthy:  What will you be doing in ten years? Utena:  I dunno. But... Anthy:  But? Utena:  But I hope we can be together like this drinking tea then. Anthy:  Yes. I hope so too. Utena:  I'm sure that'll be great. Utena:  Let's have tea and laugh together ten years from now, okay? Utena:  Promise? Anthy:  Yes. Definitely.

[fawnforgold]

a list of my current wips in case anyone is interested in knowing my plans.

Dottore x Fem!Reader | A fantasy au where reader runs into a strange man who offers her knowledge of the unknown and a chance at a brand new life. | Cw: Misogyny, Traditional Gender Roles, Poverty, Arranged Marriage, Sexism, Dark Content.

Rhinedottir x Oc!August | August’s last memory was of her bleeding out onto the dirt ground, and next thing she knows she’s face to face with the cruel woman that saved her. The woman is cold, short-tempered, and incredibly selfish. So, then why does she find herself trusting her even when everything in her body is telling her to run. | Cw: Hybrid!Oc, Strangers to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort.

Some other wips that are vague ideas

Albedo x Oc!Juniper | After the birth of their daughter, Juniper and Albedo discuss life, death, and the inevitable future. | Cw: Discussion of Death and Mortality, Talk of Albedo’s Past, Not dark content but it is fairly morbid, Liberties taken with lore.

Dottore x Oc!Lavender | After a year of a certain someone’s sudden disappearance, a ghost comes back from Dottore’s past to haunt him once again. | ???? No clue, Two oc’s involved in this, Shhh it’s a secret.

okay that’s all this was dumb bye lmao

[opalspring]

Saw people mention Kotoko calling Kazui "repressed" in the French subtitles of Deep Cover and yeah it's pretty questionable. Idk if someone has made a post about it yet (if so I apologize lol) but it's not the only rude thing she's called the other prisoners in the French tl.

Cw: slurs, ableism, sexism

She calls Yuno a slut like in the Japanese and Eng versions, but interestingly uses "pute", which is extremely more rude than the other equivalent "salope".

Amane gets called "l'endoctrinée", meaning "being indoctrinated" but in a really condescending way. As in, "what kind of person could believe things like this".

And the one that really threw me off the most personally was her calling Mikoto "quel attardé". This basically translates to "what a retard" (sorry but that's what she said).

This isn't all there is to discuss about the mv but. She sure didn't hold back on the slurs.