#cw mentions of assault

[trans-librarian]

No worries friend! I literally had my first kiss at 22 with a platonic friend at a party (he bet that he could give at least half of the people at the party a little kiss on the lips) and then lost my v card at 23 and I still haven't had a romantic relationship and it's fine. I have reached a point where I would like a relationship but like I'm out here vibing with myself and my friends. Shits already hard enough to do dating and romance let alone if you are queer, trans, neurodiverse, etc. (such as myself as a fat tranmasc dude who has audhd and has physical disabilities) let yourself be you and shit will happen and when it does it will be great and worth more than throwing yourself into things you aren't ready for just because you feel you need to reach certain expectations. A little TMI but it was forcing myself to conform to my expectations of who I should be by a certain age is what caused me to get sa'ed by a creepy guy while literally losing my v card.

can someone put me down like a sick dog i need to actually believe that its normal to be nineteen with next to no romantic experience

[howlsofbloodhounds]

I like it when in fanfics souls are something that are either shown only during fights or in an extremely personal/intimate setting. Mainly because of Killer since that's basically like a guy that just constantly got his dong out and nobody says anything about it.

If he ever puts his dong away, hed probably melt.

imagine being physically unable to put your dong away and knowing that if you try you’ll probably become goo and die, and now everyone has to stare at your dong and some of them feel they have the right to touch it too.

{ @unamzi }

[dathen]

So it’s easy to fill in what Agatha refuses to tell Mina about Jonathan’s ramblings as just general vampire stuff, but I think we get a lot of clues about what secret she’s keeping, and it’s not that.

For one, she doesn’t tiptoe around saying it included talk of “blood and demons.” Mentioning vampires is no worse than mentioning demons, so if that was the Big Secret between him and God then she’s already betrayed that trust. Also, the villagers at the beginning of the book whispered of vampires and witches and the like, so it’s not some unspeakable word Agatha won’t repeat.

And then there’s this:

Sister Agatha . . . tells me that he raved of dreadful things whilst he was off his head. I wanted her to tell me what they were; but she would only cross herself, and say she would never tell; that the ravings of the sick were the secrets of God, and that if a nurse through her vocation should hear them, she should respect her trust. . . . She opened up the subject again, and after saying that she could never mention what my poor dear raved about, added: 'I can tell you this much, my dear: that it was not about anything which he has done wrong himself.”

At first this may seem like a non sequiter, but if you take it in the context as a response to what Jonathan was raving about, it feels very pointed. I feel that this is brought up because she said it to Jonathan himself. That his ramblings were of guilt and despair over what happened to him, that now he’s unclean—just like Mina will weep over later after she falls into Dracula’s power.

Put the pieces together, and you have Sister Agatha saying that what she heard during Jonathan’s fevers are secrets she can’t betray his confidence for, even to his wife; that it’s likely something he felt guilt over and had to be told is not his fault; and that it’s of a topic so dark that Sister Agatha hesitates to repeat it.

It all adds up to Jonathan’s ramblings being about being violated by Dracula: metaphorically for certain through the blood drinking, possibly also sexually. It makes Agatha’s insistence that it wasn’t his fault make much more sense, but also makes her care that much more powerful. Even today it’s rare to get a narrative sympathetic to survivors of assault, let alone male survivors.

(Others have also spoken of how Saint Agatha is the patron saint of rape survivors: who they could pray to for support and intercession when they’re suffering. If purposeful, that would be a VERY heavy-handed allegory in her care for Jonathan. But even if not, all the other context is there.)

[fennecphoebe]

To me, Nosferatu (2024) was a story of a young woman who has, yes, been sexually abused since she was a teenager, but still holds onto the fact that there was someone in her life that lived for only her. She hates Count Orlok for so many reasons... But she yearns for the feeling of being cherished like she once was, even though it was so traumatic for her.

Idk maybe I'm projecting but that's why it's so beautiful to me.

[farshootergotme]

Am I the only one who gets uncomfortable when Dick is called a slut by the fandom? At the end of the day, there's nothing awfully wrong about it, but, with the history the character has and the things he's been through + having been slut-shamed in the comics after being assaulted, it doesn't sit well with me ig.

[socialc1imb]

What a fun conversation i had that day.

[clowncaraz-journal]

i wrote in my journal about mouthwashing and how I didnt like the approach they did. i have new thoughts in this post id like to share.

SPOILERS.

Mention of (sexual) assault and other violence in a fictional setting.

here's the original entry:

nov 20 24 1:06am

i don't get the hype or the appeal of mouthwashing beyond the exaggerated retelling of five people; a naive kid, a cynical old man, a manipulative rapist, a neutral captain, and their unqualified nurse. it begins when they realize their freighter is the last of their kind and their company will be letting them all go. the old man has been here for decades, and the kid is too happy for his own good. the rapist was already hinting at pinning himself onto the nurse by his inappropriate alone time with her during psych evals. the nurse is then sexually assaulted. the captain knows and takes responsibility too late. the rapist knows that the captain knows. the rapist crashes the ship on purpose to pin himself as the hero and make himself captain. said rapist them destroys and forces every single crew member to kill themselves or get killed at his mercy, leaving the mangled and charred captain to suffer in a cryo pod, frozen for 20 years. rapist claims he had taken responsibility while forgetting to do the one thing like acknowledge he raped a woman and got people killed. said rapist takes his own life. the captain is the only living one, and survives for decades in agony. the game is not that hype. it's deeper messages mean something, but fail to breach the curtain of simplicity they were trying to tear down. i believe even if they didn't want it to be torn, they put too much attention on trying to make the player feel as though they are guilty alongside said rapist rather than having the second playthrough explain it all again. Needs more dead air and to play with the character models a bit longer to provide any "psychological damage" or sensation that people claim. other than that, they got their bag, and they got a game that at least makes sense in the first few minutes.

That was initial response to the gameplay and the hidden secrets in general. I've watched/played it over and over to find new things I didn't have time to and honestly. I have a bit more complicated feeling.

Mouthwashing could have been better. I'm planning on making my own story based around the game's premise but not directly related or even about it. I think I wanted something unique and not what happened. I don't believe Curly should be responsible for cleaning up the mess that Jimmy left. I don't think Jimmy should have been the main perspective of the game. I don't think Anya should have been dumped and rendered useless so quickly. I don't think Daisuke should have died. I don't think Swansea should have been there. I don't believe the story is finished though.

I am a firm believer that anyone should be held responsible for what they do and that person shouldn't be treated with respect until they do. Jimmy is this case. I have no feeling towards Anya's character nor do I think she should have been written to just be the victim. She was written in a way where her only purpose was to point out how bad Jimmy is - not to ever have her exist as a character on her own. She had lore but she was just a vehicle to showcase how bad Jimmy would be as a character.

I believe that Jimmy did this: He had past violent behavior that Curly was subject to at multiple points before and during the trip. He assaulted Anya because he could. When he found out that Anya told Curly, he knew Curly was going to get him in trouble. Curly was taking responsibility, and does it so much in fact the mere fact that he would do it in this case made Jimmy crash the ship. Knowing that if he set the ship into an accident, Curly as the pilot would rush into the cockpit and try to take responsibility for it again. to fix it. "I will fix it." Jimmy exploited Curly and disabled him as punishment for Curly's ability to be "too" responsible. For not being quiet. Jimmy planned to make sure that the only person who knew about the rape was him, and horribly treated the ones who did know so that they would suffer for their knowledge. When dealing with Swansea, he neglected a lot of interpersonal ideology between him and Daisuke to the point where he completely tried to have a "I will fix this" moment in regards to sending Daisuke up there will clear knowledge that Daisuke was going to likely be injured. He injured the boy so he could have his Curly moment. When Swansea kills Daisuke, that drives a further wedge where he realizes now that he can't do Curly's job because Curly was a good person. He was going to get Jimmy fired, he was going to take responsibility for Jimmy's faults, he was going to do everything in his power to fix it. But he knew about all of this too late. He knew about the assault and the pregnancy and what Jimmy did a few minutes before the ship crashed. And that's what Jimmy wanted. Jimmy overlooking everything he did to everyone besides Curly was him acknowledging not that he was actually in the wrong but that he wasn't a good captain of the ship. That's all he took responsibility for. That he was horrible at maning a ship. Nothing else. He didn't care about Curly, he was physically assaulting Curly the entire game. He cared about Curly knowing that he would be the "hero" by killing himself and "saving" Curly. That's it.

The issue with all of this is perspective. The way the game does it is that the player starts with Jimmy and ends with Curly, but the middle is Jimmy. I don't like this approach simply because it does what most psychological horror games do and tries to teach the player a message by pinning the blame on the character (by extension, the player). They shame you. you have to take responsibility for something you didn't do, but what you allowed to happen, silently implying that Curly has to take responsibility for letting Jimmy (the 1%, the dead pixel) be ignored because of the bigger picture (the 9.99%, the bigger picture.) I don't believe Curly let him slip through. Curly was ignorant to his own treatment from Jimmy. This is to say that Curly was a victim - an afterthought to Jimmy. Anya was not more of a victim because she was sexually assaulted. Equally, their troubles of being physically harmed are important.

Just because Curly was willing to be around Jimmy doesn't mean he was comfortable. It doesn't mean he was happy. It doesn't mean he wanted to be his friend. To me, he had a choice and was stuck on a ship with him. When Curly asks Anya, "was he angry?" It isn't just him being Curly, it's him consoling her because he KNOWS what it's like to be at the end of Jimmy's wrath. He knows. Just because he's captain, just because he's a man, just because he's a problem solver - it doesn't mean he's invincible to the narrative that is Jimmy's manipulation. Jimmy being upset at Curly taking all of the attention is not just him being jealous, it's him looking for a way to break down Curly so he'd give HIM more room knowing that Curly would be passive towards him because he HURTS him.

I would have loved to see all of this game through Curly's perspective. A 5 hour max game with no music, altered sound, minimal movement, and tiny details. You get to be a bystander to a story you unwilling helped to unfold by being an abuse victim who's choices were to either be passive or fight. And you knew you couldn't fight him. Being passive is a flaw not because it makes you horrible but because horrible person make you passive. And if Mouthwashing was like that, I'd 100% feel a lot more understanding of the hype surrounding it. It would have taken more of my attention, more of my thoughts, and made my actually think about how people are more likely to squeeze themselves in rather than be let it by others. Jimmy did not fall through the cracks, he forced himself through the pathway by molding the people around him into things that contrasted him, all so he could feel better when he pointed out how bad they were at their jobs (telling Anya she's not a good nurse, doubting Swansea's capabilities, pushing Curly to the side as if he was the worst...)

But yes, please tell me more about how Curly is the worst man to ever exist.

[desperate2change]

i know I don’t use this account at all except for likes so it’s empty lol but I really can’t stop thinking about how fucked up nathan Prescott’s situation is in life is strange. like am i crazy for kind of feeling that he totally got groomed right. maybe im just applying my own experiences too much but Jefferson’s entire vibe really doesn’t let him pretend to not be a predator. idk. how horrible.

TW: talks of neglect grooming drugging assault and gun violence

not having a father that cares for you and constantly berates you and then your teacher is like. Hey i like your art want to learn from me, a famous photographer. and hes like. Wow yeah thank you for validating me and making feel worth something. and Jefferson’s like haha. Yeah. It’s like I’m your dad now. I’m gonna take pictures of you semi unconscious keep you on drugs and manipulate you into bringing your classmates into your situation. also I fucking hate you btw. and Nathan’s like. I’m gonna shoot a girl in the bathroom

it makes it so much crazier being in the fandom because I feel like life is strange told a pretty well put together story about how negligence and lack of care for students and children led to this horrible person victimizing so many students. to the point where his own accomplice was another person he had victimized for years most likely at that point. he got away with this for years because of Arcadia Bay’s lack of care and internal societal struggles. like i thought it was a pretty straight forward way to show how one horrible person can cause so much damage if left uncheck.

but for some reason so much of the fandom interpretation focuses not enough on the fact that jefferson is a horrible person who literally caused this entire situation to happen and a lot more on the ethics of whether or not nathan should be forgiven whcih is not even the point of the story man. you can hold someone accountable AND acknowledge they’re a major victim in the scenario. Yknow children and teenagers get roped into helping their abusers a lot right. That’s the fucking point of the plot twist

[nekropsii]

your equius analysis is much needed. it's dark out there in the trenches, i just saw someone on twitter call her a rapist unironically.

what's the etymology behind the name "ephona"?

I've recently learned that that's not an unheard of take. I've seen that, apparently, people will get hit with anons spam-repeating that accusation in all caps in very big blocks of text. Very disconcerting stuff, even for me. It's true that some serious violations of autonomy vis-à-vis Aradiabot were committed - fun fact, that whole ordeal was actually Vriska's idea - but calling Equius a rapist just... isn't true. That did not happen in the source material.

I... Don't really like how flippantly people will throw around such strong sex crime accusations. It happens a lot in fandom, for reasons ranging from "Character is Autistic-Coded", to "Character flirted with someone who wasn't particularly interested", to "Character committed an unrelated act of Violation of Personal Autonomy". It's like how the label of "Pedophile" seems to get thrown around for fun. Weirds me out. It's really dangerous. We've all seen how readily people will weaponize such accusations against minority groups, whether they proclaim themselves allies or not. It's best not to treat such things so lightly.

Ephona Zahhak as a name for transfem!Equius was @acanthous-affability's idea. It's based on Epona, a Gallo-Roman Goddess of Fertility, most known for being the Protector of Horses. It also reminds me of the funny little Legend of Zelda horse of the same name, which is a great bonus.

[hawaii-official]

y tf am i get ACTUAL ILLEGAL PORN on my feed

and no it’s not what ever the fucks going on in the spaceverse rn

like 18 year olds talking about how they want to b fucked (WITH NO CONSENT) by their brothers

[kokofuff]

i did not consent, i complied.

[starberry-cupcake]

day of the dove, or that time an alien put the enterprise and a klingon crew together to manipulate their inherent prejudice into aggression and make them fight each other to feed on their hatred, but jim snapped out of it the second the alien prompted him use a slur towards spock

bonus: jim knocked out his son chekov to get him away from a klingon woman he was trying to assault while reacting to a false backstory the alien put in his head and then carried him to medbay like a baby, feeling super sad about it all

intense af episode all around