#cuz like I said I’m not in that place anymore and I don’t want anybody to worry about me when I’m really truly fine

[crmsndragonwngss]

It’s probably a good thing that my dad’s going with me to this show on Saturday solely because that’ll keep me from spilling my fucking guts out to Jesse Cash about how I heard Dreamcatcher on my discover weekly playlist in 2014 and between Erra and Ghost Atlas his music saved me when I was at my absolute lowest low if I manage to catch him at the merch table and really nobody wants that lmfao

[cultofdixon]

What Happens Next

Daryl Dixon • She/Her Pronouns • The archer was given the best news of his life, and one would say he’s one of the more involved in every single thing that has to do with his future child • ANGST/SFW/NSFW • TW: Pregnancy & Birth / Anxiety / Scars / Injuries / Sleep Deprivation • Ignoring Canon, cuz I can

Requested by: Anon

Daryl stared at her dumbfounded and a little taken back by what his wife had just told him. He had to sit down and the silence started to worry Y/N.

He doesn’t…

He doesn’t want this

We should’ve been more careful

Fuck he’s probably mad

What am I supposed to do—-

“Hey…hey…darling, what’s wrong? You’re crying” Daryl frowns as he has risen from his seat when the tears rolled from her cheeks abruptly. He carefully took a hold of her face wiping away the tears that kept falling. “Sweetheart…”

“I should’ve been more careful…”

“Y/N”

“You don’t want this—-“

“Love—-“

“Daryl I’m so sor—-“

“I want this, I want this if you do” Daryl states holding her face as the tears came on faster but no longer from her anxiety. He couldn’t help his own as he wipes the happy tears away before bringing her close in his embrace. “We’re gonna be parents”

“We’re gonna be parents”

First Trimester

“Are you going on the run tomorrow?”

“I’ll have to ask Y/N” Daryl states helping Rick pack up the truck for the overnighters as the retired sheriff gave him a confused look.

“Ask Y/N? Really? You usually never asked her before you did anythin’. Tell her yeah but—-“

“Things have changed. No more worrying of Negan causing hell on us anymore. I ain’t leaving her in the dark of anythin’.” Daryl shuts the trunk before making his way back to the house. “I’ll ask and let yea know”

“Okay…” Rick continues to have some suspicion about what’s hidden behind his words.

As Daryl enters the home he spotted Y/N immediately as she was sitting on the kitchen floor. He quickly ran over to her thinking the worse but she gave him a reassuring look that made him sit with her instantly.

“Are you alright?”

“Just felt icky when grabbing something to eat…had to sit down”

“Quickly I assume”

Y/N hums tiredly in response as she rests her head on his shoulder feeling his instantly rest on hers. “Did you tell anybody yet?”

“Am I allowed to?”

“Yes…but I wanna tell Carol. You can literally tell anybody else but this is my one. And Maggie.”

“If I tell Rick or Michonne what makes yea think they won’t tell others? Rick also doesn’t know how to keep his mouth shut” He laughs making Y/N do so as well snuggling into his side. “He’s going on a run tomorrow, wondered if I’m going”

“What’s stopping you?” She asks as the silence gave her her answer. “Oh, me? I never stopped you before”

“Mm. Told him I’d ask yea if I could go…” By the way he said such, Y/N knew he didn’t want to go. Leave her for too long…she couldn’t help the smile on her face.

“I don’t want you to go”

“Then I’ll stay. Take care of yea”

“Speaking of such…I’m hungry, but I don’t want to lose it instantly”

“I can make yea toast. Prob one of the few things I can make without burning it” He smiles listening to her laugh to such before slowly getting up and offering a hand to help her up but she shook her head. “Still icky?”

“Mhm. Besides I like the view” Y/N winks smiling up at her man while he groaned to the comment.

A few days went by and today was the perfect opportunity to tell Carol. Alexandria took a big hit after the Saviors War along with the Kingdom that they have been going back and forth to help rebuild each other’s communities with the help of others. It was the Kingdom’s turn to come to Alexandria which meant Carol coming by. But Y/N went on an infirmary run with Siddiq to the other communities. This meant Daryl has to bite his tongue from telling Carol.

Even though Daryl’s silent moments that was him biting his tongue, concerned Carol.

“How’s the house holding up?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well this place was set on fire and our first job was fixing the houses. Was wondering how yours and Y/N’s is doing. Anything you add since I’ve moved to the kingdom?”

“Nope” Daryl lied of course because he can’t talk about the nursery they are starting early before Y/N can’t help physically. “Only got the guest room set up for you. That’s pretty much the only thing we did to the place”

“Uh huh” Carol squints at the man waiting for him to reveal more but he didn’t. “Well, the crops aren’t going to take care of themselves and you’re certainly not helping by drowning the potatoes” she had to take the hose away from Daryl since his mind was elsewhere and that made her worry even more.

She was even more worried and a bit suspicious when Daryl stayed outside that night with the universal radio talking to who she assumed to be Y/N.

“You feelin’ alright, darling?”

“Yeah…Maggie made sure I didn’t overwork myself once I told her”

“She happy?…for us?”

“Why wouldn’t she be? She’s a bit surprised it didn’t happen sooner. Given yknow. The times she walked in on us”

“Do I still have to apologize for the first time in Alexandria or?” Daryl smiles listening to her laugh on the other end. “It’s about to get harder to hide certain things. You better get your ass back before I blab”

“You better fucking not Dixon”

“It’s either I—-Or Rick”

Bingo. Carol knew exactly who to go to and it’s the blabber mouth. Rick can keep secrets when it came to death level situations but life? The man will fold.

“Rick!” Carol calls out to the retired sheriff while he was carrying Judith on their morning walk. “Want some company?”

“Uhm. Sure?” Rick sets Judith down as she instantly reached to hold Carol’s hand as well as her dad’s. “What’s up?”

“Daryl is keeping a secret from me and I overheard him last night talking to Y/N on the radio”

“Why are you eavesdropping on the two?”

“Because they are my family and if something serious is happening…I want to know. I’ve lost enough” She knew playing the guilt card will get Rick to fold but Judith, as young as she is, knows when her father is about to fuck something up.

“I WANT MOMMY” She screams and let go of the two’s hands to sprint in the opposite direction they were heading.

“Sorry Carol I gotta—“ Rick gestures to where his kid is running as Carol waved him off.

As Rick catches up to Judith he quickly picks her up once again as she held her hand out. He immediately took out a hard candy from his back pocket giving it to her.

“You’re a life saver”

“Can you open it daddy?”

“Of course, sweetheart” Rick smiles helping his kid on the way back to their house.

Finally, Y/N returns home with Siddiq who on the drive back was telling her about the pre-natals they had and if she ever got too sick to move that she should see him right away. He was freaking her out really with everything he was talking about. The baby book that Maggie gave her already stressed her.

“Siddiq, I love yea. But please shut up”

“Sorry. Did I go too far?”

“Yes…” Y/N sighs laughing after.

Siddiq drove up to the infirmary and parked, Y/N quickly stepped out grabbing her duffle. “Let me get you the vitamins before you head back home, okay?”

As Y/N waited on the porch, it didn’t take long for Daryl to reunite with his partner knowing she would’ve stopped there first. He was also getting restless not being able to tell Carol the news and needed her to tell her. But she looked exhausted when Daryl drew close.

“You alright?”

“Been doing check ups all day…and driving back from the Sanctuary was physically and mentally exhausting…”

Daryl didn’t know one of their stops was the Sanctuary and felt awful knowing she went there. He took her bag for her and the timing was perfect when Siddiq came out tossing the bottle to the archer.

“How many times a day?”

“It says it on the bottle, but should be once. I’d take it around noon” Siddiq advises patting Y/N on the shoulder before going to unload the truck for them.

As the two made their way back to the house, they were welcomed by Carol standing obnoxiously in the middle of the foyer.

“So what’s going on between you two?”

“Daryl didn’t tell you anything right?” Y/N asks watching the confusion grow on her face. “I’ll take that as a yes…but I’m so exhausted…”

“Carol can she tell yea in the morning? It’s nothin’ bad” Daryl frowns rubbing circles on Y/N’s back as Carol’s expression softens before inevitably nodding.

“But if you forget, I will yell at you”

“Promise” Y/N gave her a soft smile approaching her and hugging her family. “I’m so happy you’re here”

After their small moment, Y/N didn’t wait any much longer to climb into their bed and get comfortable. Daryl brought himself to her side of the bed helping her get out of her shoes and her jeans so that she could be more comfortable.

“Yea need anything from your bag downstairs?”

“Mmm. Besides my shorts, can you get me water while you’re down there?” Y/N smiles as Daryl snuck in a quick kiss to her lips before doing such.

As the archer made his way downstairs he spotted Carol at the dining room table where he put Y/N’s bag…and the bottle.

“Shit”

“You fucking hid this from me?! I wouldn’t have reacted badly—-“ Carol stops when Daryl started shushing her. “Excuse me?”

“Y/N wants to tell yea. She even got mad at me about it. She really wants to be the one to tell you that she literally gave me a list of who I could tell and you were off limits. Same with Maggie.” Daryl took the bottle from her and stowed it away in Y/N’s bag. “You can’t say shit”

“Well can I say—-“

“You can say it in the morning when she tells yea”

When he turned toward his best friend he saw the permanent smile on her face as he clenched the shorts Y/N had him get for her.

You’re gonna be a dad Carol mouths to Daryl with her smile following as she held in her squeal to hug him just for a moment before letting him get back to what he needed to do.

The morning came and Carol anxiously waited at the dining room table for the two to emerge. But only Y/N woke out of them and by the looks of it, she woke up to puke and Carol couldn’t help the worried look.

“I’m pregnant”

“I know”

“I’m too tired to kill Daryl”

“He didn’t tell me, love. I found the prenatal bottle in your bag because Daryl wouldn’t tell me anything that I had to investigate. Even Rick didn’t tell me”

“Mmm…that’s impressive” Y/N was a bit proud of Rick for not spilling the beans. Then she started tearing up which lead to her close friend rising to her feet and making her way to her. “I’m so scared Carol…” she sobbed hugging Carol back once she wrapped her arms around her.

“Oh hun that’s normal. Trust me. You are going to be a great mom, and I know that man of yours is going to be a great dad by how over protective he is and the little one isn’t even here yet” Oh Y/N knew that the archer was looming around the corner as he didn’t want to ruin their moment but also didn’t want to leave her alone in case of anything. “Now come on. You go back to sleep and take it easy today. Dad-to-be and I will hold down the fort” Carol directs Y/N back to the stairs as she stopped to hug her husband feeling him tighten his grasp on her kissing her temple.

“Come find me if yea need anything”

“Mhm” Y/N hums happily parting from him to head back to bed.

“You are going to be difficult to ask for help that takes you away from Y/N, huh?” Carol smiles watching Daryl nod. “Then go! I’ll tell Rick you’ll help out later”

The first three months was a breeze even with the morning sickness and overly tired days. Daryl wouldn’t leave when the days were bad even if Y/N insisted he’d do something other than watch her sleep. But he didn’t care. He’d even catch up on some sleep as long as it meant being with her. Carol started visiting more and Maggie would give her items that helped her during her pregnancy with Hershel Jr. She’s honestly relieved that Y/N wasn’t pregnant during all the chaos, all that was happening was just rebuilding the communities. Some part of her really wanted to physically be there but couldn’t for reasons.

“Y/N, Carol is making me read this and it’s already fuckin’ terrifying” Daryl thought something like the prison flu or another asshole threatening their lives would be the thing he worries about. But there’s so much more to it and the new world changes a lot of it.

“You don’t have to read it if it gets too much” Y/N grumbles to herself as she struggles to her favorite jeans on.

“I wanna be prepared. Even if I have no idea what colostrum is…” Daryl stops reading the page he was on when listening to Y/N’s annoyance get louder. He dog-eared the page he was on setting the book down on the dresser approaching his partner to help when he noticed. “Stop. Wear something else”

“I’m working on the farm all day. I want to be comfortable”

“If comfortable is crushing my baby, I don’t want it” Daryl unbuttoned her jeans as Y/N looks at him confused feeling her face flush when he pulled her pants down low enough to show her in the mirror. “You popped”

“Don’t ever say that again” Y/N laughs resting her hands on her small bump feeling Daryl’s gaze burn into her as she took his hand to rest on it. “Your big ass hand makes it look like nothing”

“It’s still somethin’” Daryl couldn’t help his smile forming as Y/N kisses his temple while he continued to hold her bump.

Second Trimester

It was the first deer she has seen in a while, given she usually gets rabbits and squirrels once she learned how to use her bow. Y/N snuck up on the creature perfectly as she readies her bow, the first time she had to readjust given what she was carrying. She took the shot once it was clear and managed to get the deer.

“Yes!” Y/N cheers putting her bow back on her back approaching the downed deer, pulling the arrow out once she put it out of its misery. She heard the walker approaching and given her knelt position it was going to take her a minute to get up but she was going to take it out before it got near dinner.

Then an arrow shot past her taking the walker out as Y/N quickly turns around finding her man had took the shot and gave away his position.

“I told you I could’ve done this alone”

“But yea ain’t alone, and I didn’t make any promise to the peanut. Ain’t leavin’ her alone”

“You really want a girl don’t you?” Y/N smiles ignoring how she felt a second ago to gush over the fact that Daryl really wants a little girl and how cute it was that he did.

“I ain’t calling the baby an it that’s for sure” Daryl scoffs going to retrieve his arrow and help her carry the deer back, and by help, do it himself. “Yea feel anything yet?”

The archer has been reading the baby book given to him non-stop. He’s already protective of those who’s he cares about, and the book only made it 100 times worse because of all the scary things that could happen. But there are good parts. In this regard, the baby kicking.

“I just got to five months. It won’t magically happen instantly”

“I know…but I wanna be there”

“You most likely will. You don’t leave me alone for more than a minute” Y/N laughs quietly as the two got closer to where they’ve been staying for a month. The Sanctuary. Rick had asked Daryl if he could watch the Sanctuary for a few weeks just until they’re comfortable knowing not another Negan will emerge. He also promised Y/N that it would only be a few weeks and then they can be back home enjoying their lives just the two of them before their new addition joins.

It’s been a month and Daryl hasn’t seen anything happen with the ex-saviors but has seen his wife become more anxious the longer they stay there.

“I’m talkin’ to Rick tomorrow about going home. I think the place is fine without supervision. Just as long as someone checks in every now and then…” Daryl frowns looking at Y/N who was actively ignoring the conversation knowing Rick is only going to ask for another couple days. But he was persistent this time. “Y/N. We’re gonna go home. Not have to worry about anythin’ else but gettin’ ready for the little peanut”

She really wasn’t there mentally when Daryl would talk about that. All she did was give him a small smile before hesitantly heading inside the place.

“You can go back if it’s that bad”

“Rick fuckin’ owes me this time. It’s one thing dealin’ with my own shit. But Y/N not saying more than five words a conversation while in this hell, I ain’t having it anymore Carol” Daryl frowns gripping the radio in his grasp as he tried not to lose it while he stepped outside for a moment even if his anxiety was telling him to not leave Y/N. “I need to go back inside”

“You should”

Daryl looks up from his lap finding Carol in the protective gear that Kingdom guards wear as she brought herself to sit beside him. “When did yea—-“

“You’re not the only one with access to that radio.”

“She’s talkin’ to yea and not…Carol if something serious is—-“

“Don’t. Don’t jump the gun. It has nothing to do with her state or the baby. For the most part” Carol set her pack down going through it and handing Daryl a few things at a time. They were all baby related and some clothes for Y/N that would make her more comfortable even if wearing Daryl’s sweaters were enough. “We talk about her and the baby in good terms. Whenever I do bring up the Sanctuary, she goes quiet and doesn’t want to talk about it at all. She doesn’t want to be here. So I am helping y’all get out of here and if whoever has an issue with it, they’ll talk to me”

“Or me. I don’t want Y/N to stress just from being here.” Daryl frowns holding a Fox plush that was in the pile. “Rick should’ve thought this through”

“Mm. He should’ve. But right now? We have our priorities”

Y/N was sleeping uncomfortably in one of the rooms at the Sanctuary as she would wake to every noise she heard and didn’t like being so close to the cells knowing where Daryl has been held captive for weeks. Her anxiety was the worse that night Daryl and Carol decided to sneak her out in the middle of it, the door opening lead to Y/N taking her gun out from under her pillow.

Daryl held his hands up watching Y/N relax but also break out into tears. “Hey…no I’m sorry. Shouldn’t have snuck up on yea or anythin.” He frowns sitting on the side of the bed wiping away her tears. “We’re going home, not waiting for Rick or anybody else for that matter. We’re going now”

“But—-“

“Nah. I need my wife and baby safe, and even if everything is fine here. You don’t feel safe. I need yea safe” Daryl presses his forehead against hers resting his hand on her belly and that’s when it happened. Right at that very second, Daryl suddenly pulls back keeping his hand cemented on her belly as Y/N rests hers on top of his laughing through the tears.

“Timing couldn’t be more perfect”

“Peanut didn’t like it here either” Daryl kept his attention to the movement until it stopped for the time being as he brought Y/N close to hold his family. “We’re gonna be okay. I promise”

Nobody questioned their return, and Rick definitely didn’t bother asking because he knew he’d get chewed out. But a huge part of him was thankful to have them back.

“Daryl told me to check on yea while he’s gone, but by the looks of it…” Michonne enters the nursery. “You’ve been busy” she smiles seeing all the work Y/N had managed to get done.

The walls were already a grey and Daryl found paint cans in one of the garages that matched the shade enough to fix the spots. The one part he didn’t let Y/N do because of fumes. Even though he did try to convince her to let him move furniture but she would yell at him every time he tried. It’s the simple stuff. The closet had the extra supplies, there was a dresser that held the baby clothes Daryl found and hand me downs from Maggie, a basket on top of such that held cloth diapers and burp clothes, a crib, and the rocking chair Y/N was currently sitting in that was gifted to her by someone at Oceanside. There was still much to be done but she was exhausted when Michonne came in.

“He’s on a gas run but knowing my partner he’s going to come back with things. He never comes home empty handed” Y/N shifts a bit getting used to being a growing planet of a human being as she rubs circles on her belly. “Wish he’d be back already”

“You want company?” Michonne smiles watching her friend’s eyes light up to those words.

The party of two became three and then four. That being Rosita joining once she heard a girls night was commencing in some way and Carol joining after she came to visit to do her usual check in on Y/N. Daryl isn’t the only hoverer. At first it was talking about the changes happening in the others’ lives and then the talking became talking and working on the nursery with the directions given by Y/N.

By the end of the night, Daryl came back with Rick as the two were heading toward the Dixon residence.

“You excited?”

“Who wouldn’t be?”

“I was terrified with Carl and that was before the outbreak happened. Then Judith, same feelin’ but with the undead around. Y’all having a kid with the sickos still walking. Just thought you’d be a bit more—-“

“Scared?” Daryl chuckles gripping the strap to his crossbow. “Never said I wasn’t scared and as much as hell continues to surround us, as long as they’re safe and well, our bubble can stay intact.”

“You did seem to be a natural with babies when Judith was small. I know for a fact you’ll be great” Rick pats his brother on the back watching Michonne step out of the residence with a smile on her face and immediately hugging her man.

“Have a good night” Daryl tells the two as he enters his home seeing Carol and Rosita in the kitchen cleaning up their mess but also enjoying dinner. “Hey”

“Hey, look who’s back”

“Y/N misses you. Should go check on her” Rosita states watching Daryl give her a questioning look by how she said such before doing exactly that. Since it was his plan the second he entered Alexandria.

Daryl’s first stop was the bedroom half expecting her to be in bed already. But since she wasn’t there, he knew to check the obvious and he was surprised by the finished nursery. It was very gender neutral even if he was convinced and convinced Y/N that they were having a girl. But he loved everything about it.

“You’ve been busy”

“I had help from my girls” Y/N smiles happily from the rocking chair that now had a blanket resting on the back of it. It had little woodland creatures on it. “Do you like it?”

“I love it, love it even more if you didn’t lift a finger”

“I didn’t. All the moving was done by them and Carol told me off every chance I tried” She laughs leaning forward when Daryl brought himself over leaning into her to kiss her as she met him halfway. “How was your day?”

“Found enough gas for a few more trips. Gonna try Maggie’s alternative and see if we can eventually change to that” Daryl brought himself to sit on the floor beside her enjoying the feeling of her hand running through his hair. “Did get more stuff for her”

“I figured. But you should look at one of the shelves before you bring the new items in” Y/N states watching Daryl get up with a slight groan after having an exhausting day as he goes to the shelves finding some of the plushies but books they found on display.

But there was a solo shelf above the dresser that held knickknacks. He felt a warmth in his chest finding little wooden carvings that represented each member of their family. Crossbow…arrow…sheriff hat…katana…knife…baseball cap…and the last item was a framed Polaroid that the two had taken with their family all the way back to the prison.

“Eugene whittles and got them done perfectly in my opinion. He also felt like he owed me for the time I was three months and he made me cry for an hour” that got a laugh out of Daryl even though he remembers the day perfectly where he didn’t even know his own strength by how he managed to lift the poor guy off the ground for scaring him in thinking he hurt his wife. “I think it’s perfect but we’ll need something temporary to mount them”

“I’ll think of something but they’re fine where they’re at for now” Daryl smiles returning the picture back on the shelf.

Third Trimester

I’m a fucking goddamn planet Y/N thought as she tries to look down at her feet from sitting on the bench at the end of their bed. Seven months wasn’t so bad. Eight is fucking hell.

Daryl came upstairs once he stood at the front door for too long waiting for Y/N. He thought she was right behind her but she wasn’t.

“What’s the matter?”

“I’m huge. My back hurts…and I can’t tie my shoes” Y/N frowns lifting her feet up and setting them down gently as she readjusts from her seated position holding her belly.

“You should’ve just asked for help, love” Daryl knelt down once he got close enough and helped tie Y/N’s shoes feeling her distract herself by messing with his hair. “Why are you even wearing this pair? I got you shoes without laces”

“You found shoes without laces and I forgot where I put them” Pregnancy brain is a bitch. “Why are we doing this again?”

“It’s a walk around Alexandria. It’s five to ten minutes top. You also bugged me to remind you of such the past few days we’ve been doing this” He tried really hard to contain his laugh but his grin was prominent. “Helps the swelling in your legs”

“Sometimes I wish you’d listen to my tired brain over my screaming one from a few days ago”

“When we get home I’ll rub your feet”

“Sold” Y/N stops messing with his hair, fixing it quickly before he stood to his feet holding his hands out to help her off the bench.

Daryl gave her a quick kiss, then one to her bump. He’s been doing that every day since her bump became more noticeable.

It was a cool fall afternoon that the two were walking around Alexandria as Y/N watches all the familiar faces go about their day along with the new ones. This community expanded like the others and her heart swelled over the fact that this little one has a village in case of anything. But boy did her man make sure everything would go smoothly.

“I’m not naming our kid after any dead relatives”

“Middle names are fine. But you also have to give me boy names” Y/N watches her man roll his eyes as she was just preparing for that just in case. “C’mon baby. We don’t know the gender and our already huge list of girl names over power our list of boys that is literally nothing. It could happen”

“It ain’t but fine. What are yea thinking”

“I really like Shepherd”

“Done. That’s the name if we have a boy—-“

“Daryl!” Y/N smacks him in the chest lightly. “Actually come up with one instead of instantly agreeing with me. What would you like for a boy that would be on the same level with your favorite girl names?”

“Robin can go both ways”

“Okay, fair. But come on” Y/N returns her hand to holding Daryl’s as he was silent for a long time before actually thinking of one.

“Andy ain’t bad”

“Short for Andrew? That’s cute. Andrew Glenn Dixon” That sounds nice.

“Mmm. Gregory”

“No” Y/N immediately shot down. “Steven?”

“Not my first option, but an option. Mmm….” Daryl looks around the place thinking something would inspire him as Y/N tugs at him to take a seat at the gazebo. “Josh—Nah that didn’t sound right leaving my mouth”

“I had an ex named Josh in the old world”

“Then that’s a fuck no” Daryl leans back into the bench resting his head on top of hers once she placed herself on his shoulder. “Can we just agree on Andrew or Shepherd for the boy names?”

“Then Robin or Evelyn for our top girl choices” Y/N sighs happily knowing she doesn’t have to stress about that. “Glad we got that covered”

The two were simply enjoying themselves as a party of two for a little while longer. Listening to the wind of autumn…watching life continue even while outside the walls was a scary place…Daryl couldn’t help but think about the future. Would he mess up? Would he turn out like his father? But those thoughts washed away every time Y/N would look into his piercing blue eyes with her beautiful E/C ones. She’s always been the light that lead him back to reality. He knew he’ll be fine with her by his side every step of the way.

A few nights have past since that calming moment, Daryl brought his arm around his love bringing her close even if it meant her back flush against his chest. Y/N shifted slightly in her sleep out of discomfort from the size of her belly and the movement of the baby. She brought her hand on her belly hoping rubbing circles would soothe it but instead the discomfort got worse.

“D…”

“Hm?”

“Your baby won’t stop moving” She sighs feeling Daryl shift behind her enough to bring his hand to her belly. Her hope was dad’s touch would do something but it didn’t.

Daryl got up entirely from the bed moving himself to her side watching the discomfort in her face grow as she tries to hide in her pillow.

“Imma get Siddiq”

“Please don’t leave me…” Y/N sobs feeling his calloused hand brush the hair out of her face before taking care of the on-going tears.

“Hun if you’re in labor we need the doc”

“My water hasn’t broke yet…”

“Y/N. I don’t want to take any chances here” Daryl frowns hating that she was already experiencing a lot of discomfort that they both knew was only going to get worse. “The second it breaks I’m getting Siddiq. But what do you want me to do right now for you? Just name it”

Early stages of labor was mainly discomfort and the body preparing itself. Daryl didn’t like anything Y/N was suggesting they’d do before her water breaks.

Like the walk they were taking at 3AM and Daryl growing frustrated every time Y/N would smack his hand away when he tried to hold her in some way. She was starting to feel crowded in her own person making her stop suddenly in the middle of the street.

“What’s happenin’” Daryl frowns resting his hand on her back as she tensed to the touch. “Y/N. Tell—-“

“Shut up. I don’t want to walk anymore” She groans turning herself around and waddling incredibly slow back to their place.

The sound of a door opening caught the archer’s attention as he quickly noticed Rosita stepping out of the house she shared with Eugene and Gabriel. She looks at the two confused as Daryl tried his best to tell her what was happening with hand gestures. Rosita is a smart woman she caught on without Daryl’s gesturing as she went back inside to get her shoes on and leave to go get Siddiq for the Dixons.

“She’s in the bath”

“Hm. That makes sense” Siddiq rubs the sleep out of his eyes as it was now around five in the morning and her water hasn’t broken yet. “How do we know these aren’t Braxton?”

“The fake ones? She’s in a lot of discomfort. I doubt it’s fucking fake” Daryl frowns his anxiety was spiking his rage slightly. “I gotta check on her. Just. I’ll come and find yea—-“

“I’m already here. I’ll just be on the couch until anything. Okay? But if it gets worse, I have to check her myself to see how dilated she might be”

“Alright” Daryl quickly went back upstairs, surprised Y/N even wanted to be back up there. But it meant having their kid in their bedroom if it comes to it.

Y/N was comfortably uncomfortable in the bath as she didn’t say a word when Daryl entered, only looked at him with tears still blurring her vision.

“How bad is it?” Daryl sat on the edge of the tub taking her hand into his, feeling her crush his hand instantly. “Fucking hell”

“You should’ve told me sooner if you were a big baby.”

“I wasn’t?” Daryl knew her emotions were going to be all over the place, and her anger is starting to get there. “I was premature.”

“You gave me a big ass baby” Y/N squeezed her eyes shut and the grip on his hand got tighter indicating the pain getting worse. These weren’t fake. These were real contractions. “God she’s going to fucking rip herself out of me”

There’s a mental image Daryl is never going to forget, and the man has seen Alien. Okay now it’s worse applying a chest buster to labor.

“Siddiq has to check yea to see how dilated you are”

“Only you can see me fucking naked. I need to get the fuck out and put a shirt on before that happens”

“Are you even ready to—-“

“NO” She snaps wanting to remain in the tub for a little while longer.

Word got out that Y/N was in the early stages of labor and as more of their family entered the living room, the more it progressed. Siddiq had left to get everything he’ll need from the infirmary given this is now happening in their home. Oh what the doc would give for a hospital right about now. He knows what he’s doing but he still feels inexperienced every time.

Y/N wore one of Daryl’s shirts covering most of her as she felt like a tiny person carrying a planet even more now that her water has broke all over their floor. She leans against the bed gripping the sheets trying to distract herself, appreciating Daryl’s hands working their magic on her back to ease the pain while she took deep breathes.

“I hate you”

“Mm. Fair.”

“No don’t agree with me I’m not serious” she started to sob again. Nice job Daryl. “I love you…I love you so much and I’m excited for this chapter but HOLY FUCK DOES IT HURT” she screams as it startled Daryl a bit, especially their friends in the living room.

“I’ve gotcha love” Daryl brought himself beside her resting his head against hers feeling her lean into him. “Just a few more hours and it’ll be all over”

“I can’t…Fucking, I can’t” Y/N sobs into him feeling his arm wrap around her shoulders to bring her closer.

“You’re the strongest person I know. You can, and you will.” Daryl states kissing her temple before helping her back into the bed.

A few hours have passed and Siddiq checked how dilated she was once more before giving Daryl and Y/N a look that it was time. While he got himself prepared, Y/N gave her partner a horrified look.

“I’m not ready”

“Love, it’s time”

“Daryl I’m not ready” She cries. “What if I’m a terrible mom? What if I mess up so bad that she’ll resent me? I-I…”

Daryl squeezes her hand bringing it up to his lips kissing the back of it before resting his forehead against hers. “You’re going to be great. No one is ever ready. I’m scared shitless. But I know I’ll be great with yea, Y/N. We’ll be great. We’ll mess up and take care of it along the way. It’s bound to happen but again, we’ll be great. We have a village. Have each other. I’m right here, sunshine”

His words made her cry even more but in ease. Siddiq was finally ready and bringing the blanket up checking her once more when Daryl got an idea. He kicked his shoes off and had Y/N sit up enough for him to slip in behind her. She instantly presses herself against his chest feeling his hand move to her knees after instructed to do such.

“Okay, push on the next contraction” Siddiq states letting the nature take its course.

Y/N started to get anxious when the contraction hit her like a truck which lead to her pushing given her instruction. Daryl felt her hands grip onto his forearms as he moved one of his hands off her knee a second to grab her hand letting her squeeze the hell out of it while he brought her leg back into position.

“Good. Good” Siddiq made sure everything was happening smoothly. “Only push on the contractions, Y/N. Or you’ll tear”

“I want to push now…” She sobs feeling Daryl rest his chin on her shoulder.

“Just wait love” Daryl squeezes her hand and her knee with the other one as she rests her head against his.

Push

Push.

Push!

It felt surreal, like how the hell did this even happen? How did they manage to create this perfect little human being that was currently crying up a storm on Y/N’s chest…Daryl couldn’t help the tears that breached from his eyes as he watches their little girl sob into her mother’s chest.

“We did it love…”

“You did it, sweetheart” Daryl kisses Y/N’s temple continuing to keep his full attention on their little one. “She’s perfect”

As the day progresses and the news of little Robin Elizabeth Dixon spread through their entire family, the day felt as if it slowed for just a moment. That moment being Daryl holding his little girl for the first time, letting his wife rest as he took care of her.

Daryl hasn’t stopped smiling since he first saw his daughter and how perfect she came out. He didn’t have to worry about losing either of them during the process, and she was a healthy little girl that calmed instantly in her father’s embrace.

“Are you happy, Daryl?” Y/N smiles tiredly watching the two from her spot seeing his smile grow.

“Yeah, yeah I am”

[sunasstink]

Heyyy! I’m a new writer and this is my first fic LOL just testing the waters w my ideas.

Minors DNI, you will be blocked.

- reader and gojo are on their third date and have talked about a few things and y/n has voiced that she’s uncomfortable with sexual things in their status rn but gojo somehow fucks it up cuz that’s him.

reader is implied to be black!fem!.

fluff! slight angst!

——————————————————————————

You were sweet and kind w a beautiful heart but that don’t mean you gonna let anybody just walk all over you. Given the moment now. The restaurants dim lighting casting on gojo making him look more delicious than her already did but that didn’t stop you from catching the dumb things that flew out this boy mouth.

His hand gently rested on yours as you two waited for the bill after the amazing meal you had, you two had been seeing each other for about a month now and things had to have some tweaks but overall you like the way it’s going. he of course paid for every date and even recently paid to get your nails done, you being a woman of holding your own you insisted he didn’t but that man can’t be told no. he sent you the money and wouldn’t take it back.

right now he’s discussing him adding a few new workouts into his routine which you calmly listened, not that you understood it but hearing him talk was enough. his crystal eyes gazing at you like he was a damn prince or sum.

“yeah my hip thrusts are revolutionary if you know what I mean..”

your eyebrows furrowed in confusion, you didn’t know what he meant but you did have a hunch..slowly feeling the urge to slap him come up but hoping that’s not what he meant. his little gaze wasn’t fascinating anymore.

“umm no…I don’t know what you mean…?”

he let a small chuckle, looking to his left then back at you, knowing he’s fucked now. his hand waving as a sign to forget about it but the next worlds was it fa him.

“sexual joke, don’t worry about it pretty..”

before he could even finish the sentence you hummed and leaned back into your seat, placing your hands in your lap, the uncomfortable anger settling in you. you were simply uninterested now.

he noticed this immediately, trying to reach for your hand but failed miserably as you simply shook your head before he could even touch you.

“cmon pretty…it was just a slip up…I’m sorry”

when they came back with his card and the receipt he stood up, walking to your side of the booth, his hand out in offer to help you, simply standing up and walking past him just a bit.

“yeah I know, it’s whatever.”

it wasn’t, you opened up to him about your biggest fears, regrets and concerns. and it seemed that he took it lightly, something you didn’t appreciate.

Gojo made his way to you, his large hands slowly sliding to your waist, his tall figure pushed against your own as he stared down at you with a faced you hadn’t seen before.

he was concerned. very concerned.

“no it’s not. I know how you feel about that shit, I know I shouldn’t of said that, I’m sorry. I really care about you and I’d never just brush off something like that….now please…just…I don’t want you seeing me in that light..”

the smile you had reached from ear to ear, nobody has ever voiced how much they cared for you, or even took your thoughts into consideration. But here he was, a prideful man ignoring his ego for the woman he hopes to love so dearly. he’d do anything to make you see that you are his light.

you couldn’t be mad, gently grabbing his hand and intertwining your fingers as you both walked out of the restaurant to his car, him still apologizing here and there and for the rest of the week he had kept apologizing even after you told him it was okay.

dear, did he lose his mind over you? yes.

——————————————————————————

omg that was my first fic, hope y’all enjoy and eat it up. I wanna make more but honestly I’m scared and stalling.

[skyland2703]

Write an ending without a beginning and Javelia? Possibly?

I was about to go down the lane of tragedy™️ for this one… and then I decided what better way to write my one true ending for Javelia—

“Feelings are… hard… Ollie.” Amelia smiled ruefully at the boy in blue hoodie, sitting next to her on the airplane seat, holding her hand.

He shrugged, and looked out of the window, a beautiful sunset had colored the sky in blue and pink hues, with a peeking golden in places, and clouds littering the horizon. It looked breathtaking, and if he were in this moment with anybody else— his mind wandered particularly to Aiyon, the Rafkonian loved the sunsets of Earth from the bottom of his heart— he’d have liked to share a kiss. But not here, not with Amelia. It wasn’t the time.

“Feelings are hard, Amelia” he nodded, a smile spreading onto his face.

“When did you know?”

“I’ve known for a while. Even if you’re here with me, you’re talking about Javi, thinking about Javi, or talking to Javi… your heart isn’t even here at all” he almost laughed, and then gently caressed the top of her palm, then looked into the distance, “I don’t blame you either…”

“You’ve been having feelings for someone else too, haven’t you?” Amelia asked, shaking her head, softly. She knew exactly who it was, she knew exactly how these things had happened— she and Javi had grown particularly close during such investigations, itself.

Ollie smiled, good naturedly, “like you said… feelings are hard”

Amelia closed her eyes, and rested her head on the extremely uncomfortable cushion of the airline’s economy class seat, and groaned. They’d decided to take this little “trip” to Hawaii so they could bond over, once again, renew their relationship, but it hadn’t even started, and they were on the verge of breaking apart.

“Did you ever… think of… cheating, Ollie?” The thought had crossed her mind numerous times. She remembered that time she and Javi had almost drunkenly fooled around, and stopped themselves just in time from the thought of Ollie. She wondered if Ollie had ever done something of the sort… that had been her very first doubt, what had caused her to enlist Javi’s help in her relationship, what had landed the two of them at such crossroads— with their best friend.

“I…” he frowned, “I’m not gonna lie, there were moments where it got dangerously close to that… but I never cheated on you, Amelia. I Never would.” He smiled, “even if I don’t love love you, I still love you. And I can never even think of hurting you that way”

She smiled, “I want you to know that I feel the same way, Ollie”

“I know” he smiled, “I just wish we had had thid talk before we got onto this plane… AND booked that honeymoon package.” He laughed.

“Hey” she punched his arm gently, “I’m teleporting back to Javi the second we land— and we’re getting Aiyon TO Hawaii after that. Just cuz we aren’t together anymore, doesn’t mean we can’t be happy” she winked.

“Does that mean it’s an official breakup?”

“It’s an official breakup. And it’s absolutely jot messy at all— Annnnd I’d thought it’d be so much messier….” She chuckled.

“You know… so had I— thank you for being so understanding. I thought you’d be all angry and irrational” be wriggled his eyebrows at her mischievously.

“Well, fuck you”

“Oh Aiyon will—“ his lips twisted in a sly smirk,

“TOO MUCH INFORMATION, AKANA”

…

The flight had been awkward, really, really awkward, in a lot of places, but it was still better than it would’ve been had they not broken up, and continued in their now loveless, and even more awkward relationship. They were better off as friends, and with her stealing her airline issue cashew nuts in the small flight,

The Realisation that she had been in love with Javi for almost as long as she could had hit her repeatedly on her head, every time she thought about Javi— and she wondered why she had continued with Ollie for so long. Why was there a need to hurt the both of them, in the process, why was breaking up such a stigma, if it were this easy…

“Where are you, Javi?” She’d texted Javi as soon as she had gotten off at the Hawaii Airport, and readied to teleport back to where Javi was.

Javi’s reply was prompt, “hey Amm! All good? How was the flight?”

"Where are you"

"Still at the airport"

"Good"

“Wh—“

“Explain later. I’m coming back. Stay there.”

And then she had promptly ignored all texts he had sent her, panicking and asking her why was wrong, if everything was okay, if Ollie was coming back with her or not… Ollie must have texted Aiyon, but she wasn’t sure if Aiyon would tell Javi. They hadn’t particularly revealed anything to Aiyon either, but a part of wondered maybe he would know— maybe both the boys would be able to put two and two together.

She wanted to surprise Javi. She wanted to surprise him so bad. She needed to be in his arms, when she told him that she loved him.

…

Javi had stayed at the airport, sitting on one of the cool metal benches, where he had left Ollie and Amelia to board their flight at. The bright morning sun had faded into a dim glow, bathing the entire lounge in a yellowish-orange tinge, warm, soothing, and Javi's heavy heart told him that he should head back home... the girl he'd been in love with for three years, was long gone, and in another corner of the country, by now, with someone else... and why was he still there?

After the happy couple had boarded the flight, Javi had found himself sinking into one of the chairs, at a loss of words, not knowing what to do, feeling overwhelmed. And he'd sat there that way for who knew how long...

Until Amelia's text had come in... and then he knew exactly why he was still there. The Morphin Grid had set something up. She was coming back... there was something wrong, something that had happened, and she needed him right there.

He closed his eyes, his mind gently cascading over all the memories of him and Amelia together. There was something in the air, a little October chill, a little tinge of the fall, a little bit of warmth.

Then he heard the familiar whirring noise of a teleportation beam. It was distant, but Javi could place exactly what it was for... Amelia was here. She'd teleported to somewhere people wouldn't notice, and she was here... she was right here. His heart felt like it would come up into his throat.

He stood up, as he heard footsteps approaching him. There was a whole cacophony of noises around the world between them, but he knew her footsteps. He knew every rhythm by heart. And then, there she was... Standing in the same red jacket he had bid her goodbye in, a mere few hours ago, sunglasses pushed upwards, over her head.

Their eyes met across the distance, and he saw a blush move up her cheeks, as well as blood rushing into his own. Awkwardly, nervously, he raised a hand to wave at her. Just as awkwardly, she tilted her head, as if to take all of him in her, and keep the vision of him imprinted in her heart and soul.

And then she broke into a run. Javi had barely a second to process what was happening, and to brace himself, when she jumped into his waiting arms, wrapping her own around him, and he, while trying to maintain his balance, lifted her off her feet, and started spinning her around in the air, while still hugging her. He didn't need words to understand what had just happened between them— her expression, her gestures were enough to explain it all.

When he finally put her back onto the ground, he saw tears shining in her eyes, like a kaleidoscope, glittering in the evening glow.

"I love you Javi. I love you so, so much" she said, breathless, waiting for his reply.

"But Ol—"

"He knows." her smile was so wide, it could encompass entire galaxies, "It's you and me, now. You and me forever"

"No ifs and buts?" he asked, gently, her infectious smile was starting to spread onto his face too, and she shook her head, "I'm sorry for all that drama, but no, seriously, I'm all yours, baby. I promise"

He leaned forward and gently pressed his lips against hers for the briefest moment. It was so gentle, so tentative that for a Amelia thought she had only imagined it— but then Javi was kissing her again, harder this time, passionately; her hair reached up into his hair, fingeres grazing through the soft locks, while his reached around to cup her face in his palms, frozen in time, and frozen in the moment... Nothing else mattered, nothing except the fact that they were together, together at last.

"I— I love you too" he croaked, gasping from breath from their kiss, and as they reluctantly broke apart, he placed his forehead against hers, and his fingers gently entangled with hers, "I've loved you from the beginning"

Ao3

[studdbreyouknowme]

Yeah motherfuckers think they can just hurt you and get away with now normally I would fuck they world up but I realized some people ain’t worth it they not worth the stress,the time,or energy or your space or your peace I didn’t realize my worth at first I got so lost in keep repeating the same cycle getting with bitches that don’t love they self and have trauma people need to deal with they trauma before being in a relationship with someone cuz the same thing that she did to me someone is going to do the same thing she did to her I’m tired of not being good enough all I ever wanted was a family of my own and someone to love me I’m not perfect I have flaws a real women that love you look pass your imperfections pass your mistakes communicate is one of the most important thing to me in a relationship I don’t want a house wife I want a women that I can get to the money with and go somewhere in life thrive together I keep attracting broken women who been through tough shit stop using wat you went through as an excuse for treating someone like shit it’s not about you it’s about the both of us when two people that have been through shit but I talked about it I lived through my hell I’m healed I made peace with it cause at the end of the day I respect my peace do I have boundaries yes I do don’t tell me you love me and you don’t mean it don’t promise me anything if you can’t keep that promise don’t form no type of relationship with my child if you just gone cut him out of your life know your worth people all I’m trying to do is make it when she broke up with me I was hurt and heartbroken and I lost myself then I realized it was my fault because I allowed her play with my emotions and feelings I let her get to me i dont wish bad on anybody but at the end of the day imma get the last laugh it���s just a matter of time this is my resolution stop giving people yall energy who don’t deserve it cuz everytime you do that it’s gonna be a constant pattern every relationship gonna be the same way not saying people can’t change but this generation everything will go to shit heal yourself,love yourself,care about yourself before you think about being with someone I took my own advice so even though I got a hurt I took it and I learned from it I don’t want to get hurt anymore I’m tired of it I’m at my breaking point I don’t have to deal with it that’s the thing it’s all about maturity I’m 30 years old I had to grow up early when I was young I didn’t have the love and affection from my family I was in foster care with men who touch on little kids I was sexually assaulted by family members multiple times I will never forget but I forgive them my parents my dad was on crack and he forced my mother into it and had her working the streets I watched my dad abuse my mom right in front of me and my sister I watched him drag my mom out of the bed me and my sister was sleeping in. I watched him throw spray cans at her my dad collected cans and one night he couldn’t get money from the cans cuz we was late and they was closed so we went to a pizza place found a pizza they threw out cuz one half was burnt me and my sister had to eat pizza from the trash and I looked at my mom seen the tears in her eyes I loved my mom she wasn’t perfect but she tried when I came out at 13 as a lesbian to my mom she said “I already knew and I love you regardless you will always be my babygirl “it’s hard for me to open up and tell people the shit I went through because I’ve been in situations where they use that shit against you they throw up in your face and that is my main boundary if we talked about something that happened and we moved passed it then when you mad you bring it up that shows you don’t respect me you never did I’m to grown for the childish shit my heart is no longer open for love I rather be alone then letting these bitches keep me from my blessings if you can’t see that I’m trying to better myself just because you got your shit together doesn’t give you the right to talk down on another person stop listening to people other than yourself

[kariachi]

Some quick reboot fic, because I want it. Ben and Kevin are, once again, in competition.

The stakes couldn't possibly be higher.

~~

Thirteen years old and Kevin was, if anything, even more of a menace. Also, he’d somehow gotten even taller than Ben than he was before, which shouldn’t have been legal.

Wearing matching smirks, the pair stared each other down over the Rustbucket’s table. On the Tennyson side, one of Ben’s switch joy-cons, the blue one specifically. On the Levin side, it’s red twin. Between them, the switch in question, hooked up to Gwen’s laptop. Gwen, sat on the counter on the other side of the RV, well out of range of any direct conflict.

Would it have been easier to simply play on their 3dses? Or use Kevin’s laptop and switch, since they couldn’t each just use their own? Most likely. But Ben didn’t trust he hadn’t modded his stuff to hell and back (the latter two didn’t need an hdmi connection anymore, what more proof did you need) and therefor would have a severely unfair advantage. Kevin, for his part, had claimed offense that Ben thought he would cheat, that he didn’t need to cheat to win, but refused to let anybody check and see if his shit was unfairly modded. So, Ben’s switch and Gwen’s laptop it was.

“This is it, folks,” Gwen said as the sound of the game finishing loading in drew the boys’ attention, grinning widely as she slipped in ‘announcer’ mode, “the last Sumo Slammers competition you’ll ever need. Here today, in Sumo Slammer 2: Shogun’s Vengeance: Remastered, we’ll who is the greatest slammer of sumos.”

“In this corner- having not consumed another piece of media in his life-”

“Hey!”

“Benjamin Kirby Tennyson, using Kentarō! And in this corner- I’m still eighty-percent sure only playing the game to mess with Ben-”

“I do have other hobbies.”

“Prove it.”

“-Kevin Ethan Levin, playing Fumie! This fight will be a random stage, all power-ups legal, fight to the death!”

“She gets a little into this crap, doesn’t she?”

“Just a little.”

“On the count of three, the fight begins! One! Two! Three!”

And they were off, in the Great Mountain Temple (“Ha! Homefield advantage!” “Gonna be twice the dishonor when you lose!”). They had to have been mashing buttons before the stage even loaded, for how quickly their characters launched at each other.

“And it’s a strong first move from Ben, Kentarō takes those body slams much better, but he’s losing mass fast! May want to land a hit quick before she outweighs him!”

“Go on, make me more maneuverable, see if I care.”

“Yeah, because Kentarō has ever been about maneuverability.”

“This going to be a powers heavy fight, folks! Kentarō’s Standing Mountain blocking Fumie in, can he land a hit before- No! No Kevin’s gotten off Rolling Wave, can that push him back long enough for- Yes! Just long enough to run Standing Mountain out!”

“I hate you.”

“And I haven’t even won yet.”

“That’s two blows and major weight loss on Kentarō and Fumie’s only taken the one good hit so far- He’s picking up speed though! Can he make up for the loss in defenses and stability though?”

“Never.”

“Then what about this!”

“Holy-moly, our first power-up and Ben’s there first! Standing Mountain number two and there’s no way out for Fumie- He lands a hit! She’s got the weight to take it, but he’s not dropping pounds anymore!”

“Fuck!”

“Not going to wash me away now!”

“Language, Levin! And Ben may want to save his celebrating, Fumie’s still in better shape!”

“I’ve got this, cuz!”

“Oh! And directly into Charging Peak! I don’t think Fumie is far enough from the edge- But a masterful use of Rolling Wave from Kevin washes her right back into place to throw herself into Kentarō again! He did not like that!”

“Aw, is Dweebyson’s sumo too small for a little body slam now?”

“Hate.”

“Another Charging Peak brings them closer in damage but he’s not out of range of Rolling Wave three! Kentarō is looking bad, on the run, hoping for another powerup before Fumie gets to him-”

“It's tense enough, thanks!”

“-and there’s the finisher! Alas, even in the high mountains the sea turns out to be a harsh mistress!” Heaving a sigh, Gwen fell back at the same time the boys did, watching Fumie bow respectfully at the opponent-eating seafoam as it faded from the stage. Ben glared bloody death across the table, Kevin’s smirk now full of teeth as he put his hands behind his head and leaned back like he was king of the world.

“What’d I tell ya? And in your own homeland, the shame of it.” In a few quick button presses, Ben reset things back to the character select screen, eyes never leaving Kevin's face.

“New characters, best two out of three.”

[duck-duck-g0ose]

i just gotta vent for a sec cuz some stuff has been bothering me n this is the only place i have so read it if you wanna understand where my head’s been at the last few days but yeah, its gonna be depressing n sad :) (Not really any TW’s, m just talking about insecurities)

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I don’t know exactly when it started but i’ve started feeling so shitty (mentally). I would wake up already on the verge of tears, every little thing would send me into a spiral of negative thoughts and make me feel worse. I broke down in the car the other night because i spilled ice cream on my shirt. I’ve started feeling really bad about how i look, how sexual i am, my inexperience but also my experience, my last relationship, where i am now in this new one, general insecurity, especially about how i’m not gonna be enough for him. I feel like just being a sub isn’t enough, and even if it was, i cant be enough because i dont know what i’m doing at all. I’ve been with one person and he was the worst. i just wish i could be a switch so i could dom when he needed me to, guiding and protecting him like a dom should, but i cant. i wasn’t made for it and i really fucking wish i was. i’m worried he’s not gonna like me anymore because of that. there’s a million other people out there who are much better than me, who can give him what he needs that i cant. i’m not good enough. i try to hold it in and not tell him, we’re not even officially together and i dont know if that’ll even happen but i’m still so worried he’s gonna leave me. even his friends are better than me, they can dom or sub for him, they’re more experienced, outgoing, attractive, they have more kinks in common, they’re everything i’m not. i haven’t been enough for someone else who wasn’t nearly as kinky so why did i think he’d ever want me? i’ll never be good enough for anybody. I feel so disgusted with myself for ever thinking that anyone could like me. No one wants something like me, i barely feel human anymore. I keep saying it but i just feel like i’m not enough, i can’t do enough, i can’t be enough, and no matter how hard i try, nothing i ever do or say will be enough.

I feel gross thinking about the fact that i completely devoted myself to someone for an entire year only to be dumped and left like it was nothing. I was so easy to manipulate, easy to control. I spent hundreds of dollars on him and his trash family. He used me because he just wanted a hold to fuck and it was so easy to make me come to him. I wasted that year, i wasn’t happy even though i convinced myself that i was. but i stayed because i never thought anyone else would love me. But what makes me feel so violated now is that he never really loved me, every time he said it was a gross lie to make me stay. I can still picture the way he’d hold my face in his hands and wipe my tears away when i was crying because i had to leave. I feel so fucking awful and i wish i could forget him and cleanse my mind and body of everything he did to me. I dont want to remember that he touched me. It makes me wanna rip my skin off. I feel disgusted for being sexual at all, looking and reading dirty things makes me feel ashamed, like i should never have let anyone touch me. I should’ve saved myself for the right person, not the first one that gave me attention. I was so stupid to think he could’ve loved me.

coming back to add this: i just want to be loved, and wanted, and by someone. but i’m so scared i’m going to be used and discarded again if i give myself too much. i’m trying to hold back but i want to give him everything, my commitment, me, whatever i can. i’m worried that i’m not going to feel the same way anymore, my heart and my mind are trying to protect themselves from being hurt again so they hurt me first to prepare for what i know will eventually happen.

[papers4me]

Fruits Basket Manga Review , ch 110

The writer doesn’t need to rush to akito (antagonist) & give us quick background exposition & escalate her mentality to the exploding moment, simply cuz tohru (the protagonist) isn’t emotionally in her most vulnerable moment yet. Tohru’s issues will be presented deeper  with each pov chapter she’ll have. So what should the writer do now?

This is a connected plot, meaning the emotions belonging to the previous chapter are still lingering & needs to be dealt with. There is no stupid laughing & cooking or even dumber momentarily amnesia. Nope! There is this:

-The Art of Writing Slow-Burns: (Lingering Emotions:)

Last time kyo hugged tohru thro the sheets. sth he wouldn’t do if it weren’t for the heartbreaking moment of tohru’s tears & the reason behind them. Why wouldn he do it? cuz he believes he’s the reason of her pain & is setting his mind on leaving her & being imprisoned as a punishment. He  wouldn’t do it cuz he loves her but he did it cuz he loves her. why? cuz love is illogical. Kyo’s heart moved him effortlessly to embrace her & “ his tenderness covered her pain” as the writer put it at the end of ch109.

Last time tohru hugged kyo thro the sheets, sth she wouldn’t do if it weren’t for the comfort of his warmth enveloping her loneliness & providing safety & a home. A home can a person. Why wouldn she do it? cuz Tohru is someone who hides pain behind a smile, someone who thinks she’s ugly & unlovable cuz she’s grieving still after all this time. She’s thinks she’s a burden. But here she confessed to kyo unprompted or advised by anybody. He only asked a fleeting question. but tohru cant hide who she is friom him anymore. Still, he accepted her & tenderly held her thro the sheets & she threw her body at him, she initiated the hug.

The sheet hig is the biggest emotional moment between kyo/tohru yet. It altered how they feel for each other cuz in that moment tohru’s mask fell & kyo was the most honest with himself emotionally. That’s not sth you move from with the stupid ED song. They both try to carry out normally afterwards cuz they live together after all. The slightest touch brings..... sexual tension!!!  it was so bad poor yuki left the house running!!!!!!!!

The writer cleverly escalates the sexual tension as they awkwardly try to find a talking topic, then dissolves it a bit when kto asks if tohru wants to go out together & where, then escalates it when tohru suggests buying eggs cuz she’s awkward, then dissolves it when kyo grumpily agrees but this is just grocery shopping” not a fun going out”, the escalates it when tohru said she’s happy for just bring together with him regardless of the location & kyo looses it! sexual tension explodes!

The target of the slow-burn isn’t the characters... the target is the audience! the writer plays with their emotions & cleverly puts the audience in a place where they desperately want these two idiots together but still remember why they aren’t! that’s very important. Having the readers cheer for a romantic relationship includes the readers understanding the obstacles ahead & how big they are & still cheer. If the obstacles are meh~ the readers will find the couple unrealistic, if the obstacles are so big & the couples emotions aren't buildup properly, then the couple themselves will feel meh~. Glad kyoru survived such writing mistakes both manga & anime ( anime hurt their characters more than their relationship).

-Yuki wants to move on from the unofficial son third wheeling his mom & her man:

The writer jokes abt yuki admitting he felt as a son watching his mon & her bf. I love tha this joke becuz it cleverly addresses the following points:

it is cleverly weaved in with the kyoru incident from last chapter. Sth happen & yuki doesn't know what is & doesn't want to! Yuki represents the audience I talked abt in the slow-burn point above. He is us. He’ll cheer for them to be together & will be so frustrated when they can’t. It adds to yuki confronting kyo at the climax!!! You see in the anime kyo/yuki stopped interacting much in se03. Then tada~~ big fight when it’s a must! & can’t be escaped... Here we still have kyo/yuki moments despite each boy moving away from his issues being the fault of the other. Basically better writing.....

The writer cleverly used this to address that yuki still feels like tohru’s son sometimes despite being more independent now, which is natural as you cant switch ur feelings with a button. But also the writer doesnt stay in this moment long & use it to build the next moment.. yuki/Aya , yuki/machi & aya/mine.... sadly all there dynamics are shortened in the anime like kyoru’s.

-I don’t think yuki/Aya  moment suffered much from the cuts, the entire school parents meeting ep us enough to reconcile the brothers. Aya defended yuki that day & so did yuki. He completely accepted him & stood up to him in front of the mom.

- More aya/mine would’ve been good to see & I would’ve preferred it to yuki/motoko moments in the anime that served nothing. but aya/mine too are stand alone story. They’re the most alike couple in a healthy way. Aya is the guy who protected his woman the most. simply cuz he’s the snake. snakes are secretive. he kept her to himself, even from yuki!!! impressive.

- What I lament from the cut of this mini yuki adventure?

1- This: ( yuki’s facial expressions) This is sth the anime fears, either cuz (a) pretty yuki is 100% pretty all the time, so no expressiveness cuz it leads to showing eyebrows & hiding them under layers of hair is the A.B.C of pretty characters... (b) Yuki in the anime is a prince 98% of the time, except with kyo (they got rid of this in se03 & give them one honest/ugly moment together) & with kakeru (one tiny moment in se03 in match’’s focus ep & then quickly back to prince yuki!)..., ugh!!!!!! I hate how yuki is prince thro & thro in the anime!!that’s why they couldn’t get rid of any motoko content!!! he’s a prince there... heck! school girls float after him the graduation ceremony... what’s up with that!! lol.

2-. This: ( machi with the toy that tohru/kisa/kagura/momiji & kiro like! so cute!!! also, foreshadowing yuki’s future chosen extended family! (his bro & his wife), (yuki & his wife) & best friend/his brother in law! Also, yuki is so himself! no glitters, no bubbles & no pretending anger! <3

Side Notes:

The lovely @mizzraynelly​ made notice kto’s speech in ch109 abt not vising his mom’s grave! Even tho it’s such a minor line, it’s one of the biggest cuts that foreshadow the accumulation of kyo’s guilt towards his mom. Kyo’s thing is guilt towards ppl he loves & fear of hurting them, by keeping this feeling alive in readers’ minds, the writer is making sure that the climax will hurt like sharp knives cuz the readers are on the same wave liength as kyo!!! epic buildup consists of tiny subtle pieces!

 Luckily, kyoru as a ship felt so strong in both manga & anime despite the later cutting half of their moments. Why? cuz the chosen cuts didnt affects the romantic relationship...no... the cuts affects the characters’ own personal struggle... most precisely tohru. Kyo’s own character struggles had better luck in the anime despite the cuts, simply cuz (a) was drawn with very expressive emotions & the anime team lingered on them in his scenes. (b) His character design as a whole was very expressive, the anime team didnt give him constant wide eyes like tohru & didn’t fear expr4essivness will affect for his “beauty “ like yuki. (c) kyo was given one ep per season for his issues which altho not much but way better than tohru (d) most important: kyo’s issues are very universal & very relatable” feeling guilt, mistakes & choosing wrong. That’s sth we all do!!! Tohru’s thing is grieve: this is very personal & most ppl experience it differently. 

I love kyo’s oufit!!! we have a hint of this moment in se03, ep 10 when yuki was fighting kyo... but they made yuki see them shopping as opposed of him seeing them being sexually charged!

I’m so mad this kyoru moment is cut!!!!!! tohru as a woman with pending sexual emotions is so refreshing & underrated in the trope of “ girl saves guys”. Also, it contradicts the pure mom image that’s been suffocating her since se01 ep 1!!!!! oh now i know why it’s cut... That’s why! momma tohru is so pure for such things & only when it’s the last two eps, then will allow her to be a woman choosing to live away with her man by her own desire! Why the anime only allow things ti happen when there’s no escape!!! I’ve always felt tohru/kyo is the type of couple to be expressive emotionally & sexually with each other based on seeing that ALL of their romantic interaction involves body language & I’m so happy there’s a canon proof so early before the future glimpse in finale!!!!!! 

I liked the aya-story, but it felt like the typical “ lesson of the day” formula, so I didnt analyze it much, but I enjoyed the brotherly interaction so much!! It had a gold mine of yuki being himself & so nit a prince! Im so happy I saw it! <3.

Every time yuki looked expressive is a happy moment for me!

[skelanonymous]

First - Killermare

Words - 3.1k

I decided I needed more happy Killermare, even though I’ve literally written a ton of it. I should write literally anybody else next…>_>

-

Killer entered into the kitchen with a tense back, casually perusing the fridge with a wince. He’d taken a hard hit on the side during the last fight with the Stars. Probably cracked something, but nothing was falling off so he didn’t bother too much with it. His determination would hold him together.

He grabbed the carton of milk and took a swig straight from the container.

“Other people use that you know.” 

“Too bad for them.” Killer turned around to grin at Nightmare. He’d recently gotten into his Boss’s VERY good graces and no broken bones were going to keep him out of it. “Well if it isn’t small, dark, and Lovecraftian.” That got a chuckle, a rare thing to hear from Nightmare. It made his target soul ache something awful, hearing that cute sound and not being able to do anything with it, not nearly close enough to Nightmare to capitalize on the opportunity. 

“As good with words as with a knife, hmmm?” Nightmare stood in his space, touching along his arm unconsciously. Killer tried to keep his mouth in check.

“I’m also pretty good with my hands.” God damn idiot brain, hitting on his fucking god level boss. There’s fucking with people and there’s shooting out of your league. He just smiled through it. “Whatcha need Boss?”

“I’m moving a wing of the library and needed an extra pair of hands.” 

“And you knew how talented mine were, so you came right to me?” Killer slid the milk back into the refrigerator. He leaned back on his left side to keep from agitating the right, elbows on the counter, a picture of relaxation. 

“Something like that.” Nightmare laughed again. Killer held in the pleased sigh, standing up, crossing his arms behind his head very delicately.

“I’m all yours Boss. Lead the way.”

They wandered down the hall directly towards the library, Killer keeping step just behind Nightmare, letting him stare all he wanted without being caught. Those strong thick tentacles swayed around his back, framing his ass for Killer to appreciate along the lengthy hallways. He rarely went over this way unless Night summoned him here.

Nightmare already cleared small sections away, stacks of meticulously organized books littering the floor. He gestured to a pile.

“Start here and work clockwise. I’ve laid it out to make it easy enough for you to do without me babysitting your progress.” 

So began replacing them on the shelves. Killer hid the winces of pain from stooping and bending fairly well, silently moving until he hit a tiny snag. He reached up to place one on a tall shelf when he flinched into the wall.

His body hit the shelves and dislodged an avalanche onto his head. He almost moved away before one smashed into his cracked ribs.

"Son of a fucking bitch!

"Killer!" Nightmare raced over to unbury him. The tentacles made quick work of them, stacking haphazardly off of Killer’s winded form. His hands were on Killer’s forehead in an instant, checking for cracks, diligently looking over him after hearing the cry of pain. Killer groaned angrily when he was cleared off.

“Fucking Blue and his fucking blue attacks. Ugh.” Killer couldn’t sit up, pain still blossoming fresh in his chest. Night paused in looking him over.

“Were you wounded on the last mission?” His single eye penetrated his two, pinning him under it until he relented, grimacing with a gesture to his ribs he’d been carefully avoiding.

“Yeah. Stars got a good hit in on me. Was fine until the book hit it though.”

“Clearly not, considering you lost your usually impeccable balance!” Nightmare’s tentacles wrapped Killer up to get him standing without making him bend the wounded area. “Come with me. Healing magic is easiest when accompanied by intent, wrapping it will make it easier.” He grumbled and took off towards his room, Killer hobbling after to keep up. 

Walking into Night’s room changed the mood. He suddenly felt out of place, surrounded by luxurious purples tones and dark wooden furniture. Night had gestured to the bed before wandering into his private bathroom.

His bed was comfortable. Killer’s nerves ruined any enjoyment of getting into Nightmare’s room, jittery from the moment he was directed to sit on the plush comforters. Nightmare returned with a roll of bandages and an unimpressed look.

“I thought you were smart enough to know how to care for yourself.” He moved in front of him. “Take off your jacket and t-shirt.”

Thankfully Night was too focused on unraveling the bandages and gathering antiseptic to see Killer’s face go red, suddenly very aware that he was in his boss’s room, said boss’s hands about to be on him after a request to undress. He pulled them off smooth and casual, but his grin practically cracked at the edges. 

“What the hell?”

Night’s hands hovered over the cracked ribs, flinching back at the small break that Killer had dislodged from its setting.

“Yeah, it’s not great.”

“Killer!” Night growled at him. “Why didn’t you seek treatment before THIS?!” He gestured to the crumbled ends of the break from grinding against each other. “This is entirely fucking curable! It’s ridiculous you didn’t, at the very least, wrap this!” The growl travelled up his body, baring his teeth at him, tentacles cracking like whips at his back. Killer didn’t move, but his voice took on a nervous edge.

“I’m a dead man walking boss. I’ll just keep going forward until I can’t anymore.” Healing magic was taxing. All of them were terrible at it besides Nightmare, who never offered, only taking over when he was clearly needed. They never want to bother him to ask for it.

“I could’ve fixed this sooner.” Nightmare pinched the bone into place with a click. Killer gasped in pain. He wrapped it tightly, uncaring about Killer’s harsh pants while doing so.

“We only take it when you offer. None of us wanna annoy you.” Fuck, he was so falling out of Night’s good graces for this. After he worked so hard, some dumb break was gunna take him back to zero. He fisted the plush comforter. “Your time is important.”

“To whom, when you dust from accumulating injuries that I can’t see?” 

“The multiverse I guess.”

“The multiverse doesn’t give a shit about me or my time. This is all I have.” Nightmare pinched his nasal crest after finishing. “You serve me, but I cannot do this alone. Your lives are valuable to me. I thought you, especially, would know this Killer."

"Why do ya say that?"

"Because of how important you are to me." Nightmare's hands grew warm with gathering magic, mending now that everything would heal correctly. "All of you are valuable, like the supporting beams holding the castle aloft, but you are more integral. You are the center pillar. As my right hand, as long as you stand, I have faith in my ability to recover. I believed you to be my most valuable asset, but if you’re going to just let yourself turn to dust, then I’ll-”

“No!” Killer’s soul snapped into a heart shape, eyelights flickering in time to meet Night’s inquisitive gaze. “I’m not dusting on you just like that.” He grabbed Night’s warm hands away, taking them up in front of his startled cyan face.

“K-Killer?” He brought them up and kissed the phalanges as one would do to their king.

“If you’ll continue as long as I am by your side, then I’ll remain with you until I die.” Killer’s sockets went half-lidded, struck by the emotion his inverted soul let in, his silly crush amplified ten-fold by Nightmare’s faith in him. He’d never seen his boss look so confused, eye wide and frantically searching Killer’s. “What’s wrong boss?” 

“You-I’m...what’s-why all-”Killer’s hands had long since gained a mind of their own. He slid wordlessy off the bed into Night’s space, silencing him with a casual touch on the cheek, fondly caressing the bright greenish glow. 

“Shouldn’t have told me I meant so much to ya cuz I’m gunna take that to heart.” Then he swooped down to kiss him.

Killer pressed their teeth together firmly, tilting their heads to line up for deepening the kiss. He relaxed into it, holding Nightmare close while getting a taste, slowly touching and teasing Night's tongue with playful flicks. He could feel the very hesitant kiss back before they parted for air.

"Feeling shy Nightmare? Don't worry. I'm bold enough for the both of us." 

Killer laughed into the next one, leaning into it to force Night's response, groaning at the feel of the shy tongue in his own mouth. He could feel his small partner shaking in his arms when they broke apart.

"Killer…" It must've been awhile since Nightmare got with anyone to sound so needy. 

"I'm here. Wanna have some fun Nightmare?" He whispered it into Night's ear, smiling at the trembling he could still feel against his ribs, lost in the heady feeling. Night devolved to breathy pants, which Killer dove into before he felt tentacles lay solidly against his chest to push him back.

"Killer, wait, I can't-I'm not prepared for this." Night's flushed face told a different story, but he didn't fancy being killed.

"I've got lots of patience. I'll just make you feel good until you are." Killer's mouth slid down to Night’s neck, sucking on the bone to the high pitched whines, sending all his thoughts south, ecto eager to form at the slightest provocation. His haze broke under the Night's firm push out of his space. 

"Killer, stop." 

His back connected with the bed, wincing from his still (though much less so) wounded bones. The rejection stung worse.

"Sorry boss." That HURT, knowing he'd fucked up pretty royally. God, he'd forced himself on Nightmare right after he'd been given a shred of attention. He was such a fucking idiot. "I'll keep my hands to myself." His eyelights poofed decisively. He almost couldn't bear to look at him, but he needed to see Nightmare's face at least once.

Night hadn't stopped shaking. His tentacles attempted to hide him from view, face fully blushing, head still tilted away from the fresh mark Killer had left, noises leaking unfiltered from his trembling body. 

"S-s-sorry. I-I c-can't handle it-t. Too much." Killer grabbed his shirt and hoodie from where it lay beside him.

"I'll leave you be. Maybe annoy Horror or something, I don't know." Anything to not be here. Playing it off would make it easier to take, even if it meant no second chances with Night. He slid his clothes back on. "Come find me when you got the next mission lined up."

A tentacle wrapped around his ankle before he took the first step.

"Why are you leaving?" His voice was airy, light, breathless.

"I'm a dick, but not that much of one. I went too far, I'll give ya some space for a day." He shrugged, a drop of hate splashing on the floor. He'd describe his emotions as 'in shambles.'

"I don't want space. I just need a minute."

"I don't know Boss. Shouldn't rush that kind of thing." He could stomach taking advantage of people outside of this castle, but betraying the ones inside it, those who guarded his back and knew where he slept (and cared about but he'd never tell them that), it turned his mood sour. It ate at the pit of his stomach and it’d eat through him entirely if he didn’t get the fuck outta dodge.

"What thing?"

"Being assaulted, harassed, whatever you wanna call it. And being the person who forced themselves upon ya, don't think I should be here." He tugged at his ankle again, but Night hadn't relented.

"Killer, I didn't stop you because I didn't want it." He avoided Killer's eye roll.

"Uh-huh." Killer really didn't want to resort to cutting off the tentacle. It wouldn't hurt him, but it'd suck and prove he was an asshole, so he pulled harder. "Say I believed you. Then why?"

"Killer, I…" Nightmare looked like he wanted the carpet to swallow him. "I've never kissed anyone."

"...What?" He stopped struggling against his restraint. "There's no way. You're telling me, five hundred years of existing, and you hadn’t had your first kiss?"

"Yes." And Killer commited a cardinal sin without thinking.

"But Dream definit-" Is fucking Ink or Blue or Cross or all of them, he wanted to say, but Night was quicker.

"I am aware." Nightmare's glare was potent, but Killer's confusion was denser. "But he is lovable, unlike me."

"You're lovable." It slipped out in-between all the mental gymnastics. He wasn't sure he wasn't being fucked with still. "So you haven't…" How to phrase this delicately, he wondered. "...slept with anyone?"

"Killer, I haven't kissed anyone. Why the fuck would I have slept with someone?"

"You gotta know how unbelievable this is." Talking wouldn't reassure him, so Killer leaned down into Night's space again, stopping just shy of his teeth. "You're telling me that someone as fuckable as you's been ignored all this time?" Nightmare's single eye widened with the flush. Killer smoothed out his tone, dropping it low to hold him at the edge of his words. "Nice juicy peach you are, no one's tried to pluck you up? I can barely look without salivatin'." He lapped at his teeth, careful to keep his hands in safe places. He wanted to see how inexperienced Night really was without ruining his chances forever.

Nightmare's tentacles laid limp behind him, all the tremors coming from his real form, whose hands had raised to snatch at the shoulders of his hoodie, gripping tightly when he caved under the languid licks at his mouth by letting Killer in.

Patience led this one, Killer carefully taking over every inch of Night's mouth. The slower pace served to work up his partner faster. Nightmare's calmness abated, tentacles waking up to come and clutch at Killer's form, Night crawling onto him, transforming the kiss into a frenzy of desire that Killer surrendered to, as long as Night was leading the way. The tentacles touched plenty of hot spots, but he kept his own hands on innocent ground. Night's confidence could crumble under too much of a good thing.

"Take a breath, Nightlight." Night shivered against him after breaking apart, so much sensation his body was unaccustomed to. "I gotcha." Killer rubbed soothing circles into his back.

"I can see how that could escalate." Nightmare finally got out. It made him laugh. 

"Yeah. It's pretty easy to get carried away." He kissed the top of his skull before laughing again. "You give handsy a whole new meaning though."

"Sorry." The sweet little monster in his arms barely resembled his boss, hiding his face by burrowing into Killer's chest. 

"Don't be. It's pretty hot." His lewd grin made Night blush again.

"I would've thought my corruption would be the ugliest and most disgusting part of me." He punctuated it with said appendages undulating behind him.

"Boss, I just kissed the fuck outta you and I've never known you without it. Trust me, not a deterrent." Killer stroked down one to make Night's spine curl. "If you learn how to use ‘em right, they're pretty useful in the bedroom."

"Don't call me Boss when we're like this." Night whispered softly. His face caught between a glare and something soft, he was starting to come back to his senses.

"That might be too much power Nightlight." He grinned at the tiny glare. "How was your first kiss then?"

"Nice." Nightmare sighed as he sat up, unfurling all the aching limbs. The usual persona rebuilt itself. But now, Killer knew how easy the composure was to break. "I'd like to repeat it sometime."

"I'm all yours." He'd never get sick of that face if Night was willing to let him see it. They rose together from the floor, Night reestablishing the space between them.

"I'll have to talk to the others about not bringing injuries to me. Time spent on them is not time wasted." He straightened his sweater, presentable before opening the door. Killer choked the urge down to mess it up again. “The idea that you would’ve rather lost a rib than speak to me is absurd.”

"Yeah." They better not take his catch. Fuck them.

"I'm not going to kiss them Killer. The sour look is atrocious on you." Night's brow raised. Caught red handed. Killer laughed.

"Can you blame me? I know the kind of filthy degenerates who live here; I'm one of them. I don't want 'em to take a bite outta you." Subconsciously, he shook his sleeves to feel the weight of his multiple blades.

"You act as though there are many vying for my affection. People used to throw rocks at me for walking by their homes, and now they try to kill me. I'm not surrounded by suitors." He said this while walking down the hall towards the still upturned library. His strides were confident, power inherent is his manner, carried with a royal grace that Killer could only ape with minimal success. The only reason he wasn't swamped with competition was everyone had been too chickenshit to make a move. 

"Ya also thought I wasn't interested and nothing has ever been less fucking true." He pushed his luck a little further, stepping in front of Nightmare to kiss him quickly. The chaste thing was almost too much considering the shakes. "I'll just keep doing it if ya don't say anything."

“We need to reassemble the library.” He huffed through, walking by with weak knees, Killer trailing just behind. “This wasn’t an invitation to touch me at all times.”

“Only some of the time then?” 

“Shut up.” He humored the request once inside Night’s treasured library. 

Back to quietly organizing, clockwise, his talented hands flipped them onto shelves with ease now that he wasn’t hindered by aches. It was quick and effortless like it should have been the first time. He’d begun humming by the time he placed the last one, not expecting the hand on his shoulder but welcoming it as he had earlier the same day. Night silently pressed something into his palm.

“I trust I don’t need to explain.” Killer’s fingers closed over the silver key, smiling and spinning it on his pointer while leaving the now neat library. Guess his league was a lot wider than he thought. It wasn’t an invitation to his bed, but the invitation to his heart was just as good.

“Gotcha loud and clear boss. See ya soon.” 

-

They CUTE.

[badsext]

Prompt: “I wish he’d teach me how to play mine.”

I found ⬆️ as a random tag related to I don’t know what, and it just made me blush with all the mental images of things OC could be requesting Rob teach them how to play.

Character: Anybody but Roland and Ivan, cuz they’d be too easy and where’s the fun in that. Also, I hate the theramin. And 80s fashions.

* This is not my gif and I could not locate the gif maker for proper credit*

How to Play: Rob x Fem!Reader

Thank you for the request.  Your requests are the best! :)

Warnings ⚠️ Public Smut, Food, Puns, Fluff

——————————————————————————

Rob had a penchant for quirky restaurants. Over the past few weeks he had already taken you to an Asian fusion bistro with live performing aerialists and a farm to table establishment that encouraged diners to help with a few farm chores before being seated at their table.  This place was tame by comparison, merely specializing in themed soups.  

There was a lull in the conversation and Rob started giggling.  

“What is it?”  His laughter was contagious.  

“Listen,” he said leaning in.

“What,  I don’t-“

“That’s the sound of fifty people trying not to slurp their soup.”

You smiled, noisily consuming your noodles in defiance.

“Enjoying the ‘PHOMO?’”

“It’s pretty good.  How’s yours?  What did you order again?”

“I’ve got ‘Won Ton Desire.’”

“These names. I swear.”

Rob continued to peruse the menu.  “Tomatotally Awesome? Chick Send Nood(le)s?”

“Yeah, some of these are really stew-pid.”

“Are you proud of yourself for that one?”

“This restaurant was your idea, remember?”

“If you’d told me where we were going, I might have reconsidered.”

“Take Our Broth Away is the hottest spot in town right now.  There’s a waitlist a mile long.  I had to pull some strings.”

“I’m gonna pull your strings!,” you quipped back.  

“Ooh, Please elaborate.”  Rob smirked, resting his chin in his hands.

The waitress came up to your table.  “I just wanted to check on you two.  Enjoying your soup?  Can I get you anything else?  For dessert we have a lovely cold strawberry and fresh mint gazpacho.”

“We’ll take it!  Two spoons, please.”

The dessert, essentially a fruit smoothie in a bowl, was heavenly, the best part of the meal.  Your spoons clinked as you scuffled over the elegant portion.

“I heard you play the spoons.  It’s like an Irish folk music thing, right?”

He narrowed his eyes at you, passing the silver utensil between his lips and pulling it out clean.  “Bet you think I wouldn’t.”

“Oh, I know you would.  I’m counting on it,” you teased.

Rob collected another spoon and licked that one clean as well.  Then he stood up, rolled up his sleeves and put one leg up on the chair.  This was getting serious. 

He threaded the instruments between the fingers in his right hand.  He slapped them rhythmically against his jeans, his dominant hand alternating between cupping them and gently tapping them together.  It was an oddly pleasant sound and he looked hot as hell doing it.  This man could make anything look sexy.  

Other couples started checking out the strange music coming from your table.  He couldn’t resist improvising a few cheeky song lyrics.  His singing voice was average, but his charm could make a herd of stampeding buffalo stop and swoon.  

Rob signed a few autographs and posed for a couple of selfies.  After a while the fans dispersed, returning to their tables.  Alone again, you settled back into your secluded table against the wall.  “Well, now.  That was entertaining.”  

“I aim to please.”

“Mm.  I wish you’d show me how to play.”  You brushed your skirt away from your leg and parted your knees just enough to give him the message.  

“We’re not talking about music anymore are we?”  Rob leaned in and stroked the length of your bare thigh.  You shook your head coyly.  He cradled your face in his hand.  Nuzzling your cheek into his palm, you stared up at him, your eyes posing a challenge.  

Rob quickly adjusted the tablecloth to give you a few more inches of coverage on the side facing out.  Then he brushed his hand over the little strip of cotton which held your forbidden fruit.  

“Is this what you want?, he whispered.  

“Ah...ha.”  You inhaled nervously.

He hooked his finger under the fabric and rubbed his knuckle against your clit.

You bit your lip to suppress any sound from escaping.  You were normally not this sensitive, but just the possibility of getting caught electrofied your senses.  Every clink of plates and distant muffled voice raised the intensity.  It was masterful the way he remained so poised above the table and angled your bodies so it just looked like an intimate conversation to the casual observer.  

“The waitress could come round the corner any second with the check,” he said, slipping a finger inside you.  You gripped his shoulder to steady yourself.  He used his thumb to roll your clit in a slow and steady circle.  

“Ahh.”  Your head tilted back.  Rob gently guided it back.  “Look at me.  Focus on me,” he said.

He held you in his green eyed gaze, encouraging you.

He added another finger and together they curled and flexed inside you, his thumb bearing down, relentlessly manipulating your swollen aching clit.  You sat there helpless, a dribbling mess.  “Oh fuck,” you whispered as the flood endorphins erupted from your core.  You shuddered and sighed, clinging to Rob for stability.  

“So, how are we doing?”  The waitress returned.  She noticed the overwhelmed look on your face.  “Oh, hon are you okay?”  You didn’t know what to say.  You hid your face with your hands.

“She is just a little overwhelmed and I haven’t even gotten to the big surprise yet.”  Rob winked at you.  

“Oh, well, I’ll give you some privacy.”  She smiled, probably assuming you were flustered by some big romantic gesture.  She left the check, then disappeared.  Rob paid for the meal, tipping generously.

“Nice cover, but now you’ve got me wanting another surprise.”  You went in for a kiss.

“Oh but there is another surprise,” he assured you.  “Now, let’s go home, so we can do the weird stuff.”  You laughed.  “Wait, you forgot your key,” he added, jingling the thing a few inches from your face.

“That’s not my...Oh.  Rob, what did you do?”

“I got a little place.  I’ve decided to stick around for a while.”  

You lunged at him and threw your arms around his neck.  It was a surprise, one you had been hoping for.  You held the key triumphantly.  “This night just keeps getting better.  Now, tell me more about the weird stuff…”      

@salvador-daley @super-unpredictable98 @bubblyani @helena-way07 @chipster-21 @punknatch @zombiedixon89 @ringpopdust

[kung-fu-headcanons]

any hc about po with dementia

or if crane finds that po is depressed/suicidal (prane is cool too)

This is yet another ask I stalled on cuz I wanted to write a short skit for the dementia part I hate laziness (but tbh it's probably cuz I'm not a part of this fandom anymore still tho) either way am sorry for the really long wait anon 😣 *cutely ignores the "or" and does both prompts*

Dementia!Po

Typically develops due to old age/failing health, but in this case, it would make a little bit more sense for it to be a result of a bad head injury.

Fights can get rough, especially when you're dealing with a more powerful enemy, so, the enemy was fighting dirty, and did not show any mercy to Po.

The fight that is happening, would resemble the one that happened in s2ep7-8 of legends of awesomeness (if you don't know what I'm talking about, you're gonna have to look it up, I would rather not spoil in case someone who hasn't seen it is reading this)

I guess, because of his chi, he recovers a bit faster than a regular kung fu master, but he's still in bad shape

He's quite confused and disoriented, in which Shifu and the Five dismiss as a result of having engaged in a hard battle, not yet knowing the severity of the situation yet

They do recognize that he hit his head really hard, and take him back, and have a medical professional come over to check on him

As time passes, Po first starts to forget what he's talking about, and often stutters trying to remember what he was saying

Then he starts to forget how to do kung fu, and all the valuable things he has learned as Dragon Warrior

Then he starts to forget everything that's led up to him being in the Jade Palace.. is that the name? He's losing his memories.

The hardest part, is not forgetting about himself (last stage), but forgetting the people around him. His friends and family, he can't place a name to them, and it's like, he knows, but doesn't have the knowledge of them.

The gang tries to help him remember, by reminding him of his signature moves, giving him his favorite foods, even having him let the day off and have him do the things he likes, but it's not working

Even when they remind him of who they are, and what he'd call them if he was, well, himself, Po doesn't know who the people talking to him are.

For example, Monkey would tell him, "Hey.. remember me? Monkey? Your best pal? We'd pull pranks on the others a lot..." and his heart sinks when Po just looks back at him, with confused and dull eyes, he doesn't remember.

This is even worse than if he had died during the fight. At least they don't have to watch him lose somebody they knew so we'll, become someone they don't know at all.

It's frustrating for Po himself too, because, in the early stages, he knew that he recognizes, but he just.. he just cant.

Depressed/Suicidal!Po

Po isn't too good at hiding his feelings, especially if he's really feeling it hard, so it's kind of a stick out to the others something is up with him.

If I ever said anything otherwise about that uhmm no I didn't (I'm glad I'm watching Legends of Awesomeness and eventually paws of destiny because I had seriously forgotten people's character...)

A lot of the signs that Po is showing of depression, Crane notices easily, since he's struggling a little with some mental problems as well

He isn't sure if he wants to confront him about it or not, because he's nervous Po might get mad at him for getting involved in his business, after some thought, he decides, it doesn't hurt to ask...

It's night time, and Crane goes to Po's room to ask what is up with him.

Po gives him a look, and he's like, ".......what are you talking about?" He's not unhappy that Crane asked, he's scared that somebody knows about it, like, uhm, what, he'd been hiding it quite well but it got through?

Crane freaks, dang it, should have known this would happen, he rapidly starts to apologize he's like "aaah I'm sorry I'll leave, I didn't mean to bother you, I won't tell anybody I promise I wont-"

Po sighs, shakes his head, he can trust Crane.. he lets him in his room, and takes a deep breath, and says to him, "Okay, I'll tell you, but promise you won't tell Shifu or the others...?" And Crane promises, he will keep it a secret.

So Po tells Crane how he's been feeling lately, and some of the stuff he says, hits Crane directly in the heart, because he knows exactly how he feels. This is not about him, however, this is about Po.

Crane tries his best to comfort Po, and give him advice, worried that he might have accidentally said something that would make Po feel even worse

Well, Po is just happy to have somebody listen to him, and he's glad that Crane is here to talk to him about it, and didn't ridicule him about it (which is why he was scared at first, he thought he would get made fun of)

He thanks Crane for his time, Crane lets him know, he's not alone in this, there's always someone to help.

If Po is feeling suicidal, he probably had cut himself a little, and it'll take more than some talk for Crane to help Po feel better, and some extra steps to let him know, he's not alone, and people care.

I don't ship Prane (tbh I'm not really that huge of a shipper anymore, ships are cool and all but I prefer individual character content) but for the people that do here's some stuff for you guys

Crane immediately notices something is wrong, and wants to talk to him, worried.

Po's thoughts mainly include, what if Crane doesn't actually love me, and he only dates me cuz he feels sorry for me, he's feeling rather insecure as well as depressed and suicidal.

He thinks that he's being a waste of Crane's time, he should go date somebody else that's actually worth it.

Crane emphasizes the fact, he loves him, and him only, pulls him into an embrace, maybe a kiss as well, he has nothing to worry about.

He loves him for the way he is, and there's nothing he needs to change about himself.

[jamestrmtx]

Fairytale Complex - [Undertale | Sans x Reader]

[Gender Neutral, Frisk's Parent Reader | Slow Burn]

Chapter Three | sans. (Part 1 of 3)

[First] | [Previous] | [Next]

meet me by the train station.

the place's bustlin' and tori's here with me, just in case you're worried 'bout meeting a stranger all alone.

That's surprisingly thoughtful.

And I'm guessing Tori means Toriel?

The goat lady who looked after Frisk?

yup.

she's gotta go deal with some legal stuff 'bout us living on the surface, so she can't stay for long.

but she'll still be here by the time you get there.

Hmm…

Now that just makes me more suspicious of you.

Tell me why it's important that only you specifically want to talk to me about this?

Doesn't Toriel know about what happened down there, too?

yeah, but…

i need to talk to you about somethin' else.

stuff that'll probably be a lil' difficult for me to explain, but that you should still know, being frisk's parent and all.

Now I'm curious.

I'm stuck in some traffic, but I should be there soon.

Would it still be okay with Toriel if I get there in the next ten to fifteen minutes?

textin' while drivin'?

My aunt chose to drive me here.

'Cuz she also said she doesn't trust the whole situation much.

heh.

alright.

tori says it's fine. she doesn't need to leave in the next hour so…

see ya soon, (l/n).

See you soon, mister Serif.

"How's he gonna know who you are if only you have a picture of him?" you aunt asks, eyes locked on the road. Her bright red nails, just as flashy as the rest of her outfit, glisten under the sun, fantasy jewellery and wrist watch doing the same. Her tanned skin almost glows with health in comparison to yours, yet to be healed from the past two months of tension and wait. There's also her signature and almost hair salon professional level of cleanliness when it came to grooming her hair, making her overall, outer appearance far more different and striking when compared to you.

"(Mom/Dad)'s all over the news now!" Frisk says, answering her question before you can even word your thoughts out in mind, too busy noticing how much you've let yourself go in so short of a time.

You plug your phone to the car charger and meet with the side view of your aunt's face. "Like Frisk said. The guy I'm meeting says my face's been thrown out on the news a lot lately, so he already knows what I look like." You pull down the mirror and take a quick look at yourself, eye bags and stress acne now partially covered with a cheap, (s/t) foundation and expression made to look less tired thanks to a full eight hours of sleep. Still, you're far from looking anywhere near to the days before Frisk's disappearance or all the pictures displayed on the news, these from a similar time. All the stress and constant sorrow was still present on most of your features, from something as subtle as the loss of brightness in your eyes to something as noticeable as the drag in your walk and the small slump in your posture.

"Do I look okay, auntie?" you ask, taking advantage of a stop sign.

Brenda spares a quick but meaningful glance at you and a small smile manages to show on her face. She stays quiet even as her eyes go back to facing the road. At a second stop, this one caused by a red light, she looks at you again, saying, "Why are you so concerned about that, dear? I get wanting to look well and dignified for meeting new people, but this is the third time you've asked me today." She giggles when Frisk does, both apparently sharing the same thought. "You look fine, by the way. Though a bit of rest could do you good." The light changes and she carries on driving, slowing down and turning on the signal when she sees the train station to her left. "How many hours do you work, by the way? If you're still working overtime, you should stop that now. Not only for my dear grandchild's sake, but for you to get your long overdue beauty sleep."

"...Sixty hours a week?" you mutter, already anticipating a dramatic reaction from her. Even Frisk seems to notice your answer's not favourable enough to her, so they brace themselves by grabbing on to their seatbelt and pretending they're not paying attention to the conversation anymore.

Staying true to herself, Brenda almost slams the brakes just as she's halfway into parallel parking and snaps her gaze over to you, eyes wide and mouth agape. "What?!"

"Sixty a week," you repeat, louder now. "I had to get my mind off Frisk going missing somehow, so I... took that chance to save up some more by working overtime."

"That's fifteen hours too much, dear." She frowns. "That's either twelve hours a day for five days a week, or working non-stop every day for at least eight to nine hours! No wonder you look so stressed. What about your friends? Your family? Your coworkers?" She seems to notice why you've lowered your voice and does that herself, reminded over Frisk's presence at the back seats. "Oh, honey…" She sighs. "Did you really just work, eat, and sleep those two months they were gone?"

"...Maybe," you reply, looking away from her. "I just didn't know what else to do, and having free time for myself made me feel more guilty about it. The only time I sat down was to watch some TV for when I couldn't sleep at night."

Your aunt finishes parking and lets out another sigh. A gentler look crosses her eyes and she gives in, letting her body relax. "Do you have enough to get by? Please, be honest with me so I can help you out. Alright?"

You smile back at her and nod. "I have enough now. I'm pretty sure I can get by with a regular schedule again."

"With weekends off?"

"With weekends off."

Her smile grows and she unlocks the car, allowing you to step out. "Be careful out there, alright? Just make sure to call me and I'll head back here straight away if anything strange comes up."

"Thank you, auntie. So I'll pick up Frisk at five?"

"Oh, there's no rush. You can always stay the night, anyway!"

After a nod, you get down from the car, open the back door, and climb onto the empty seat left next to Frisk. 

"See you later, dear." 

You kiss their cheek and look at the phone resting in their hands. There were plenty of questions you wanted to ask them, such as who was Alphys and how she'd gained enough knowledge to develop something with that level of technology, and why it still worked up here despite being programmed to function at the Underground. You remind yourself of the people waiting for you at the train station and wrestle those curiosities down, setting all questions aside for later. "Be good, okay?"

They nod, sign a "Love you!" with their hand, and hold you back to give you a yellow sticky note, folded in two. "Give this to him. And don't forget he can be unexpected sometimes!"

You sign an "I love you, too" back to them, take the note, and step out of the car, waving at them and your aunt before closing the door and pocketing the note away. It stays unread, and while you'd like to know what's written on it as well as the reasons for Frisk warning you about meeting with that monster in particular, they'd specified it was for more sillier reasons, like that of meeting up with a stand up comedian, or more frankly put: a clown or a court jester.

Now alone, you take out your phone and check the messages, a new one from 'Mister Serif' showing up.

hey, uh…

tori hadda go.

an emergency happened, so now she's gotta rush off to the department to see what's up with some documents she turned in.

i know this seems sus as hell, so just wait for me at a more open area, alright?

stick to anybody you're comfortable with and we'll meet there.

I'm honestly touched at how much you're worried about this.

Though all that just makes me think I'm being catfished even more now.

Are you for real, mister Serif?

Can someone be as observant and thoughtful as you appear to be?

see for yourself.

>> Attachment - 1 image

You can't avoid being taken aback when the monster sends you a picture of himself. It's a definite recent one, given he's sitting by a bench close to the train tracks. He holds up a shaka sign with one hand and a coffee cup on the other. A grin decorates his face and the bright lighting shows the picture was taken just now, sun rays piercing through the windows.

I'm somewhat convinced.

need more proof?

Who are you, my Cinder match?

if u wanna.

Oh God.

You're killing me.

inna good way?

Perhaps.

You stop yourself when you realize you're on the verge of flirting with someone you haven't even met in person yet, let alone introduce yourself properly to. The picture he'd sent doesn't help either, as you can only begin to question yourself and your morals over having found him attractive for a split second. While it could have just as easily been the surprise of him sending a picture out of nowhere, it could've also been how laid-back he seemed in that picture, striking a shaka sign that made him look just like a surfer dude and a coffee cup to contrast with that vibe, adding a spark of the typical college student you saw at campus, his hoodie and sneakers only adding to that feeling.

It's then that you realize something's off.

If he was holding a cup with one hand and a sign in the other…

Then who took the picture?

Though you're pretty sure you're overthinking the situation now, you're still better safe than sorry and take advantage of your recent fooling around with him to pass that worry off as a joke.

Wait a minute, mister Serif.

yeah?

If you're holding a cup with one hand and striking a pose with the other, then who took the picture?

Or did you use your magic for that?

a random dude who looked trustworthy enough took it for me.

he's one of those guys who're totally ok with us living here at the surface, so he just snapped the picture for me and even asked if it was for a date i was gonna meet and all.

no magic needed.

And I'm the President of the United States.

But, seriously now…

Are you for real?

yeah.

>> Attachment - 1 image

The picture displays him with a bearded, brown skinned man clad in a suit and holding a suitcase, looking ready for work. Still, his smile shows little to no seriousness and instead displays youth and content over having his picture taken with a potential friend. His height surpasses the monster's by half a foot, though when you compare it to the rest of the people in the background, it's clear Serif is simply shorter compared to the average human. You try not to let your eyes linger too much on the monster when you're done looking at the man, not wanting to fall into the trap of your mind having found him attractive earlier ago. Still, you can't help yourself and take a more thorough look at him again, seeing him now with his eye sockets closed, almost mimicking a pair of eyelids squinting in joy. His arm's hung over the man's shoulders, and vice-versa. 

i made a new pal.

"meet up already!" - his words, not mine.

Trying to be smooth, huh?

maybe.

is it working?

Somewhat.

But...

Strange Cinder date vibes aside,

I'm almost there.

aight.

can't wait to meet ya, bud.

You slip the phone back in your pocket and go up the stairs of the train station, stopping when you make it to the line of benches close to the tracks. True to his word, the skeleton sits on one of them and the man who'd taken a picture with him is now waving at him, seemingly saying his goodbyes and headed off to work. You approach the station one careful step after the other, pace slowing down more and more as you feel a sudden awkwardness slip on your shoulders.

Your texts sent off vibes you didn't want present now that you were about to meet him in person. You were still worried about what happened with Frisk a few days ago, and how their happiness pretty much froze when being asked if the monsters had treated them well during their time at the Underground. The one you were about to meet could very well be one of those who'd hurt them, so you brace yourself and try not to be swayed by the softer atmosphere present during your texting with him. You acknowledge the man who'd taken his picture with a wave and a smile back at him. Then, you continue walking and finally approach the bench.

"It's nice to meet you, mister Serif." You acknowledge him with a wave, unsure of how friendly you can be with him.

"Likewise, pal." He holds a hand out to you, bringing forth the warning Frisk had given to you about him.

Out of all the things Frisk had warned you about, it was to be careful around the skeleton, but primarily due to how he seemed to be the type to joke around and prank people often. One thing in particular you were warned about was in shaking hands with him, so right as he offers his hand out to you and just as you're about to reach out, you miss his hand, take a step closer, and pull him along for a hug instead. You then unfold the sticky note and press it against his back with enough pressure for him to feel it and let go when you're done.

"Frisk warned me about you, and even though they haven't told me anything I should be worrying about yet, I do know I should be careful for other reasons. And they told me to give that note to you, by the way."

You sit down and watch as the monster attempts to get the sticky note unstuck, his short height proving to be a disadvantage, as it also comes with shorter arms. He goes as far as to use his magic to get it out, leaving you to bite back a smile and wonder if you've been too rude with him just now. Still, you wait and keep your eyes on the train tracks while he reads the note you've left for him.

"Not gonna say anything about it?" you ask, surprised to hear nothing from him even as he slips the note in his pocket.

"Patience, pal," he replies, words followed with a chuckle and continued with a wink. "Just take it as some friendly payback on my part -- Now we're even." He sits back down and meets with your eyes, his expression changing from humoured to stern at the drop of a hat. "So, what you're sayin' here is the kid hasn't said much about me yet?"

"No," you reply, hesitating. You fight between keeping a smile and a frown. "They've been awfully quiet after I asked them if there were any people down there who treated them badly." You catch yourself becoming emotional, so you breathe and blink a few times to fight that back. "It...  It feels like they shut themselves away from me, and now I'm not too sure about how to approach the situation anymore." You stop to catch your breath again, feeling yourself grow anxious already. "They can talk non-stop when it's about all the good things Toriel, Alphys, Papyrus, and… And even what you did for them, but whenever I ask if there was anything that made them feel unsafe, they… They bottle up and run off to do whatever chore there's left to do around the house."

A gust of wind helps freshen up your burning face, product of a train stopping nearby. You wait for him to speak up, body tensed all the while.

"Y'know, I…" The monster sighs, faces down, and rubs the back of his neck, looking lost in thought. "I think I can answer that for ya, but it's gonna be a bit of a long story." He glances at his phone for a moment, seemingly to check the time, and later adds, "Wanna head out somewhere to eat? We can talk about it there over food and drinks. Better than talkin' on an empty stomach, don't you think?"

Despite how somber the mood's become, that trademark grin of his you've already grown used to seems to stand out a lot more now, bringing forth a genuine, welcoming expression in addition to the offer he'd made to you. "Sure," you reply, smile returning. "And... Sorry for dumping all that on you all of a sudden."

You both stand up and make your way out of the station, walking side by side as you continue with the conversation. 

"It's cool, pal," he says. "I'd be a lot more worried if you didn't worry about it."

[First] | [Previous] | [Next]

-------------------------

This turned out to be a whopping 7k+ word long chapter, so it's been divide into 3 parts (between 2k to 3k words each, which is the usual length of each update).

So... Long story short: there'll be a double update next week in order to post Parts 2 and 3!

Expect the same thing for whenever a chapter exceeds that limit. :-)

[cuzwhynot307-blog]

Regarding Genders and Sexuality: A noob's cry for help

I really just have several questions, and figured that this would be a place where I could get answers plus (hopefully) trustworthy sources... So, Edit: tl;dr: I’m soft and just wanna make sure I don’t get in trouble whenever I go to the states so please someone tell me what pronouns are OK, among other curiousities I'll be visiting the US soon next year, and given that English isn't my first language, and I don't want to cause trouble to anybody anywhere, I would really appreciate for somebody to explain a few things I've been curious about for a long time, I won't number these, I don't wanna pressure anyone into having to tackle this as a test or whatever: -I want to know more about neo-pronouns (or is it without the dash?), I literally found out those exist like a month ago. How many are there? Are they currently being discussed, as in, have some of them been implemented in an official way, or are they in process of being implemented? Is there a record of when exactly this idea came to light? Are they supposed to identify "neo-genders" or is anyone able to use them as their pronouns? -Is "They/Them" not being used as a neutral pronoun anymore? I'm curious about this because I saw a Tiktok that labelled the pronoun as toxic, not sure if it was a joke or not. To be fair, I might be looking too hard into this one, the video in question was part of a compilation video on youtube, I don't use the app itself, and as far as I could see in the comments of the compilation, no one was saying anything about that one Tiktok in particular. I just want to make sure because it caught me by surprise -There was another video I watched today, actually. The person was explaining that they had read a post somewhere that stated something along the lines of "Bisexuality is valid, and it doesn't mean that you like '2 genders'. Bisexuality is being attracted to people of your same gender, and of a different gender than you". And I thought that it made quite a bit of sense, I just wonder if it's legit OK for me to identify as bisexual, because that's what I've called my orientation since I noticed I happened to be attracted to both guys and girls. The video made things clearer for me and I think I can still identify myself as bisexual, because from my understanding, pansexual means something more along the lines of "anything within the spectrum is fair game to me". If anyone could clarify this in case I still got things wrong, please do so, I'm here to learn For now I think that's it, I may have additional questions depending on the answers I get here... I really just want to learn some more about it all. From the first time ever that I was taught that  "You shall love your neighbour as yourself." I've had implanted in my mind that "everyone must be treated well, no matter what" PS: I had to look up the commandment's English translation just to make sure I had it right, I was a bit surprised that it uses "neighbour" in it, because in my primary language it goes "Amarás a tu prójimo como a tí mismo" and every time the adults would explain what it means, I would always be drawn to the same conclusion "mi prójimo es todo el mundo" which in turn would mean "my neighbor is everyone in world" so it was an all-inclusive word to me. The feeling's the same, just wanted to clarify this cuz as I said, found it a bit surprising  PS. 2: This is the compilation video I mentioned, the tiktok that got me curious is at 3:25   https://youtu.be/c4aYKv5nm74

[futurewriter2000]

Worth the Wait

A/N: This is the longest fic I ever wrote. It took me good three days but I finished it. I would have done it sooner but school. Like oh my God. I’m proud I could pull this off. Hope you like it. Feedback is always welcomed. Tell me if I did it good cuz it’s too long to make go through it again after writing it for so long. I hope I did good. Also I threw a bit of Fred x reader in there. Just to spice it up a bit. 

REQUEST:Hey can you do a fic where the reader is elder sister potter She's best friends with Cedric diggory since the first time they met on the train during first year She confesses it to Cedric during Goblet of fire, they are a couple And then when he dies she's screaming and heartbroken Time skip to the battle she dies saving Harry who is crying because she was his only family left Then Hermione says during the reader's dying breath "it's okay you can close your eyes and be happy with Ced" Thanx...

XX

Sometimes it was not easy being your younger brother’s older sister. All he ever did was get into trouble and you couldn’t even figure it out how. How could that boy get into so much trouble without even knowing it?

Then again, he was your father’s son and you could say that it ran in the family because you yourself weren’t the saint of the family. 

You however had a best friend who always got you into more trouble than you ever did him. The two of you met on a train, first day, and he was the sweetest boy you have ever met. He kept talking like he has lived 50 years not 11. He laughed so the whole train could hear him and he had one of the most wonderful laughs, The one you just fell in love with immediately. Since the first day, you knew he was going to be in your life. He was there when nobody else was. He was there when you were at your worst and unlike your previous “friends”, he didn’t leave. He stayed and he kept promising you that he will always and forever be there for you and your little brother. 

Little did he know that your little brother was one of the unluckiest little boys, who ever walked the Hogwarts ground. Harry was a confused little boy since he was little but he had a temper that nobody could control. He was funny, sarcastic, definetly taking most of the traits after his father but if he has anything else besides your mother’s eyes, it’s definetly her heart. 

The worry you held was always for your little brother. Always what kind of new trouble will he get into with his two friends but never have you thought that another person could worry you just as much as Harry could. 

“You can’t!” you shouted at Cedric. “It’s not safe!”

“It’s not like I’ll be fighting a dragon, (y/n)!” Cedric groaned, getting up, hugging you from behind and swinging you left an right. “Don’t tell me you’re worried about me.” he kept cooing, knowing how much you hated when somebody talked ot you like you were a child. 

With him it was different. When he hugged you, it was like a warm cloud taking you into the sky and letting you float under the sun. You loved his embraces, you loved him since Third year. 

“Are you mad?” he continued to coo, causing a smile arrupt on your lips and making his laugh. He stepped back, pulling you with him until he tripped and fell on the bed with him. “Because I won’t let you go until you stop being mad at me.” 

“I’m not mad, Ced.” you sighed, moving away from his grip and laying beside him. You played with your thumbs and with a deep breath, you told him your worries. “I just don’t want to risk losing you. I’m risking it every year with Harry and I just don’t want to...with you.” 

He smiled in disbelief, pulling himself up on his elbow. “That’s what you’re worried about? Me entering a contest and not even being picked. We’ve done worse things that this contest- remember the giant squid back in Second year?”

You smiled, remeniscing that day perfectly. “Yeah.”

“Did we die?”

“Almost.”

“But did we die?”

“No, Cedric. We did not die.” you answered clearly.

“That’s because we are bloody tough and amazing. If we didn’t die that day with the squid, then we won’t die in this contest....if I get picked of course, which I definetly will because everybody likes me, and so will that goblet.”

“Firstly, you are extremely narcassistic, which you clearly get from your father.” you pointed your finger at him and he just rolled his eyes, chuckling. “Secondly, we? What do you mean we?” 

“Oh, baby. We’re in this together.” he kissed your forehead, jumping of the bed and towards his warderobe.”Now, what should I wear.”

You melted when you heard him call you baby. The two of you were not together, only friends and at times like this you desperately wished the two of you were more than just friends. He caused so many emotions run through your body when he did little things such as take your hand, call you nicknames, kiss your forehead and so on but never did he do more than this.  

“Earth to (y/n)!” he waved his hand in front of you and you quickly shot your head up. 

“Yeah?”

“What should I wear?” 

You rolled off the bed and stood up. “Maybe your school uniform?” 

“How about this shirt?” he put the white shirt on top of his chest. 

You rolled your eyes, bumping him away from the warderobe and surfing through his clothes. You noticed the red shirt on the bottom of the shelf and pulled it out. “Red.” you shoved it on his chest.

“I totally forgot I have this shirt.”

“Just put it on and let this be over with.” ---

But you were far from over, weren’t you. You thought your heart was dropped and stepped on when he was picked by the Goblet. He noticed it right away, hugging you and lifting you up. “I’ll win for both of us. You’ll see.” he whispered and put you down, giving you a reassuring smile. 

It was until the Goblet threw out the second name that you felt like the whole world has turned against you. When all the contestants, including your little brother were in the room with Dumbledore, you stormed inside, fuming and boiling from all the fury. 

“HE IS NOT GOING TO COMPETE IN THIS TOURNAMENT AND IF YOU KILL ME!” you stepped in front of Harry, glaring at the other in the room. 

“Miss Potter-” Dumbledore started but you cut him off first.

“He is fourteen!”

“I agree but the Goblet-”

“He’s going to compete in this tournament over MY DEAD BODY!” you kept shouting, noticing Cedric approaching you raised your hand for him to stop. “Don’t.” you warned him before turning to your brohter and looking into his eyes.

He was frightened, you could see that so perfectly in his eyes. You read him like an open book, knowing there was no where in hell he dropped his name into that Goblet. He couldn’t. “Why you? Why always you?” you said, your eyes watering and your arms bringing him close. 

“I didn’t do it, (y/n).” he tried to appologise but you knew he was telling you the truth. If anybody hated getting into trouble, it was your brohter. He just wanted to be a normal boy for once and it just won’t be given to him. 

“He won’t.” you stood firmly your ground, glaring at all the responsible people. 

“Miss Potter. The Goblet has chosen its contestants. The rules are rules.”

And before you could say anything you’d regret, Harry took your hand and looked at you. “I’ll be alright. I’ve lasted this long, haven’t I?” he gave you a weak smile and you felt helpless to do anything. 

“If anything happens to him-” you glared at Bagman, glancing at the other three Champions, later at Dumbledore. “-I’ll make sure-”

“(y/n).” your brother touched your shoulders, giving you a more confident smile. “I can do this.” 

“Oh, you better.” 

---

You’ve tried not to worry too much about both Cedric and Harry but it was not possible. You thought your hair was going to turn grey one night and you’ll be someone who belongs in a looney bin. When you heard about the first task, you weren’t worried, you were so furious you wanted to scream. Cedric was avoiding you, mostly because he was afraid of you and your family temper but also because he knew how this would go. 

“It’s nOt LiKE I’Ll bE fIghTING A drAgOn.” you mocked him as he closed the door in his dorm, jumping when he heard your mocking voice and chuckling. 

“What goes around comes around.” he awkwardly scratches the back of his head, noticing the worry and the stress in your eyes. He opened his arms and gave you his one of a kind, comforting smiles. “Come on. Bring it in.” 

“No.” you said, turning your head away. 

“No?” he said as if he was offended, placing his hand on his heart. “As if you have a choice.” he scoffed, running towards you and knocking you off your feet. He grabbed you tightly with his arms, locking your own against your body. You laughed being unable to get out of his grip. 

“Cedric!” you continued to laugh meanwhile he put his head on your shoulder and took a deep breath in through his nose.

“Ahh! Isn’t this hug just stress-relieving?” he closed his eyes and put his cheek on yours. 

“If crushing my bones is stress-relieving, than sure, go ahead.” you continued to smile meanwhile he left a soft chuckle, breathing in your parfume and breathing out his hot breath, so it brushed your neck and send butterflies flying in your stomach. 

His grip got gentler, so he wasn’t locking your arms anymore, but simply holding you in his own. You truned around, placing yourelf on top of his chest and looking down in his deep grey eyes. Your hand automatically moved to his hair and you mildly brushed your fingers through his hair. 

God, you were in love with him. You were so deeply in love with his charming eyes and his devilish smile, His skin was so warm, his nose in such a perfect shape, his jaw a bit uneven but sharp despite it. His hands were big and soft, as if they haven’t worked a day in their life, his chest broad, his whole soul just burning yours through the eyes. 

He always adored the look in your eyes. Whenever you gave him this look it sent him some sort of pleasure and joy through his bonest. In a way, with you or even just looking at you, he felt his mind go a little dizzy. He felt like he could tell you the world! Everything with you was just... safe. He felt safe with you. 

It was a heavenly moment, between the two of you. It was only you and him, nobody else to break it up. 

Until there was. 

A letter flew right through the window, cutting in the space between the two of you. It was written in a beautiful handwriting... in a girl’s handwriting with a Ravenclaw’s stamp. 

A jealous feeling started bubbling in your stomach as you got up and let him read it. A smile appeared on his lips as you asked. “Who is it?” 

He looked up, completely blind to your discomfort. “It’s Cho’s. She said yes to be my date to the Yule Ball.” 

Your heart jumped to your throat and you could feel your eyes burning. “You- you asked Cho Chang to Yule Ball. I thought we said we were going to the Yule Ball together?” 

He could finally see the hurt in your eyes, which was a different kind he usually got from your fights. He realized what he said to you before he asked Cho. He was completely sure that Cho would say no but now... now he knew just how much he hurt you.

Except the pain was worse for you. 

“Merlin, (y/n).” he got up and started to shake his head, eyes filled with guilt. ”I didn’t think she’d say yes.”

The jealusy turned into hatred in a second and the heart in your throat stopped to speak. “So I was just your back up plan?!”

“No!” he widened his eyes. “That’s not what I meant to-”

“You know what, Diggory?” you scoffed, pretending as if your heart wasn’t just crushed a moment ago. “Go to the ball with your precious Cho Chang. I don’t care. Go with anybody you want!” your voice started to raise. 

“Why are you getting so mad?!”

And you couldn’t believe it. You couldn’t believe he is so blind to it. You know he feels it. You know it in your heart he feels something towards you but he just won’t admit it. “Because I’m in love with you!” was all you could say, regretting it the moment it came out. “And I thought you feel the same but clearly you-”

“Oh, (y/n)...” he shook his head, watching you with pitiful eyes. “You’re like a -”

“Don’t!” you stopped him, tears falling down your cheeks without your permission. “It’s not true. It can’t be.” you kept looking at him. You were so sure he felt it. So Goddamn sure he felt the same way. 

“You’re amazing, (y/n). You are! You’re amazing and beautiful but I just don’t see us as- I mean, you and me- I mean- I- “

You shook your head more aggresievly this time. “I was so dumb to think that I won’t be like those other girls!” you told yourself. 

“You’re not!”

“I clearly am, Cedric!” you shouted at him, tears coming out. “Because if I wasn’t then you wouldn’t asked me to the Yule Ball as a bloody plan B!” you continued, seeing as he wanted to argue with that but you wouldn’t let him. “But you know what, Cedric? I can get anyone I bloody want!”

And somehow that opened Cedric’s anger, making the unfamilliar feeling in his stomach speak instead of his mind. “Clearly not me! Just like the other girls, swooning over! Thinking you have a chance! I should have known you were just hanging out with me because you had a crush!” 

The hurt was just never-ending, wasn’t it. “You really think that?” you tone was weak. “You really think of me as someone like that?” you said backing away. 

“Isn’t it?!” he couldn’t stop himself. He couldn’t and he tried. 

“Yes, Cedric. I trusted you and poured myself to you just because I wanted to fuck you like the whore I am. I wanted nothing but your dick and be famous for dating the Hufflepuff chaser.” you said, seeing his anger fade.

He threw his head back in disbelief. He hated when anybody spoke low of you, and there he was thinking the lowest of you. “I didn’t mean it, (y/n). I know you’re-”

“Just save the sweet talk for Cho.” you said. “I don’t ever want to talk to you again.” you started walking away but he quickly grabbed your arm. 

“Please, (y/n)! Don’t leave! I didn’t mean what I said!”

“Clearly, you did.” you said. “Clearly, you think that I can’t live without you, Cedric Diggory but I’m going to show you just how much I don’t need you in my life.” you pulled your arm away from his grasp, walking away.

That day you never went back to your dorm, you went to Harry’s but before you could reach him, a ginger got to you first. You always thought of Fred as someone who was despite his humor incredibly charming and caring. Since Harry was in First Year, he always kept asking you on dates, flirting with you and being a real gentleman. 

He noticed right away that you were hurt. He always noticed everything when it came to you and maybe you said yes because he was the only one who made you feel wanted but after a while, you saw you said yes because he was kind and caring for you like nobody else ever did. 

The two of you got closer and so you did with the other Weasleys and their friends. Somehow, you realized you have gotten to Harry closer as well. He was much more open to you now then he ever was.

---

You loved spending time with Fred. He always made you laugh. Always made you feel so happy. On the day of the Ball, Fred was already waiting in the Hufflepuff common room, talking with some of your friends. 

Cedric, who was still a bit uncomfortable that the two of you weren’t on speaking terms, walked over to Fred just before he went to pick up Cho herself. “Hey, mate. Can I talk to you?” 

Fred raised an eyebrow, his grin staying in the same position. “Yeah. Of course.” he said, not knowing whether to like the guy or not. 

“I know me and (y/n) aren’t speaking right now but I still do-” 

He was cut, staring at the girl who was just coming down the stairs behind Fred. Fred turned around as well, scanning you from head to toe before locking his eyes with yours. His grin turned into a beam and he blinked, just to make sure that what he was seeing wasn’t a dream. 

You weren’t wearing a dress as the other girls did. You remember Sirius giving you the dress your mother wore to one of the Balls with your father. She was a diviant and brave woman, choosing the right dress for her confidence. It was red, just like her hair, and long, clinging your legs and your curves. Your hair was curled, pinned on one side, let down on the other. You chose a daring makeup, red eyeshadow and red lipstick, sharping the outline of your lips. There was a cut on your right side, from knee below, showing off your red heels with a sparkly-silver strap above the ankle. 

Even though you knew Cedric was standing beside Fred with his mouth on the ground, you kept your eyes on Fred’s brown ones, ignoring the grey ones behind and smiling triuphantly. “I’m ready.”

Fred’s eyes sparkled with mischief as he took your hand and kissed the back of it. “I can see that.” he said seductively, leading you away. “You look absolutely breath-taking.” 

---

The whole dance, you saw eyes lingering on you. It made you blush more times than once. You were pretty convinced that you were red as a tomato the whole night but Fred, amazing as he was, kept distracting you by dancing and making you laugh. He was an incredible date. He constantly made sure you were hydrated, pleased and smiling. 

“Fred, my jaw is hurting from all the laughing!” you laughed as the two of you made your way outside on some fresh air. “Be serious!” you sightly punched him in the chest. 

“I can’t. You’re so gorgeous when you smile.” his voice got softer and he took a step closer. His hand took the fallen strand on your pinned side and tucked it behind your ear, looking down at you. “I want to be all dominant and romantic with this but I can’t help the feeling to ask you.” his cheeks flushed red and you furrowed your eyebrows at him. 

“Ask me what?” 

He looked up, scratching the back of his head and barely speaking. “Can I kiss you?” 

Surprised by his question, you completely grew red in your cheeks, not knowing exactly what to say. This was your first kiss. You always imagined it would be Cedric but since the argument, you knew that was never going to be possible. 

You trusted Fred. You liked Fred. So you nodded your head and put your hands on his neck. “I’ve never kissed anybody.” you said shyly and quetly. 

“A beauty like you?” he grinned pressing his forehead on you. “I can wait if you’re not ready.” he said as you looked up at him with a glint in your eyes. 

“No. I want you to kiss me.” you smiled and he leaned it, kissing you gently at first, only the surface of your lips before pulling away and looking at your reaction. 

Your eyes were closed before you opened them, smiling and showing him you want him to kiss you again, deeper. And he did, slipping his tongue inside your mouth and taking the lead. Your cheeks started radiating heat as the kissing never stopped. You loved it. You loved kissing and you kept pulling him closer to you, smiling. 

It wasn’t long until that kiss was broken. You couldn’t feel Fred’s suit under your fingers, nor see him in front of you. Your vision was blurred and you couldn’t figure out what exactly was going on until you saw Fred laying on the floor on your right and Cedric panting on your left. 

“What-” you couldn’t quite figure it out. All three of you were panting, Cedric from fury meanwhile you and Fred had a different kind of cause for catching your breath. “What the hell?!” you looked at Cedric, narrowing your eyes at him meanwhile he turned to you, eyes widen from shock and his mind confused. 

“Why in the bloody hell did you do that for, mate?” Fred sat up, rubbing his head as you ran up to him. 

“I- I don’t know.” Cedric said, completely confused and watching you help Fred to his feet. 

“Are you okay, Fred?” you asked meanwhile Fred gave you his usual grin. 

“I’m fine, gorgeous. Why don’t- why don’t the two of you talk, huh?” he glanced between the two of you. “I’ll go get some ice.” 

“But-”

“I’ll be fine.” he took your hand and squeezed it. “You need to talk.” he said before leaving the two of you alone. 

As he was out of the view, you turned around, fuming, and shouting at the guilty boy in front. “WHAT THE HELL?!”

“I don’t know what came over me, (y/n), I swear. I didn’t mean to push him-”

“Oh, so you’re telling me that a House Elf possesed you and pushed him on the floor.” 

“I was aiming for the punch but I was afraid of hurting you during, so I had to push him first.” he kept blabbering, only confusing you more. He shut his mouth, looking at you with wide eyes and afraid to say anything similar. 

“You don’t get to interrupt my first kiss. You don’t get to do that after shoving a knife through my heart, Cedric!” you started to get furious, storming away and knocking his shoulder as you passed him by. 

He grabbed you by the wirst as he always did when the two of you fought. He pulled you back and close to his chest, meanwhile you pushed away from him.

“Don’t do that!” you looked up at him. 

“I was furious, (y/n)!” he shouted back. “I’m sorry for what I said that day! I shouldn’t have said those things to you, I realize that.”

“I don’t care anymore, Cedric. It’s all old bullshit to me.” you crossed your arms over your chest, backing away and deciding to leave. 

“I WAS JEALOUS!” he shouted on top of his lungs. Stopping you. Due to the music in the Great Hall a corridor down, nobody else could hear except you and him. 

You turned around, watching his face fall down in shame. 

“I was jealous, (y/n).” he said once again as he started to get closer to you. “When I saw you so stunning in your dress... and then see you walk away with another guy, I just felt angry. I felt angry the whole bloody night, watching you dance him... watching you laugh with him... and looking at him like you used to look at me.” he paused as he stopped in front of you, still unable to look at you into your eyes until he took a deep breath in and raised his head up to lock those greys with your own. “He got to see you in this dress, he got the honor to dance with you in it, he got the pleasure of hearing your laugh, the bliss of getting adoration from your wonderful eyes and I couldn’t even get a slightly bit of attention from you. Not a glance, not anything. I got nothing from you and when I was watching you with him, I was barely keeping myself away. When I saw you walk out with him I couldn’t control my feet, so I followed and when I saw you kissing him, I got so angry and so jealous that I just stop restricting myself from you. I couldn’t keep myself away.” he took your hands and squeezed them tightly. “You’re my best friend, (y/n). I’m pretty much sure you’re my soulmate.” he smiled and you couldn’t figure out where this was going; hurt or love, so you kept your expression the same. “I’m ashamed of what I did- because I had that, I could have had that but I threw it away. I threw it away because I didn’t know that I’m in love with you as well.” 

You gasped as he said that, feeling the air get caught up in your throat. Your heart fluttered, your stomach kept doing sommersaults but despite all of it, you couldn’t pretend as if he didn’t hurt you. 

You hugged him tight and feeling his arms seal your embrace, his nose dig into the crook of your neck and breathing the parfume that tingeled his nostrills. He let out a breath of relief, feeling safety spread around him. 

“I forgive you, Ced.” you said and he smiled to the shortage of his name which you call him. It always felt perfect when you said it. “But I need to figure out where I stand with Fred before I hurt anybody.” 

He pulled away, placing his thumb on your chin and brushing it gently with it. “I’ll wait. I’ll always wait for you.”

---

It took you a few days and a few nights of frustration and over-thinking to get where you were. You and Fred had a long talk about everything, deciding to stay friends as it was obvious you were head over heels for Cedric. You could see he was hurt but he still put his usual grin on. 

“Reckon, he’ll never had the honour to say he was a first kiss to the most amazing and beautiful girl at school.” 

You smiled, feeling the redness wash over your cheeks again. “No, he won’t.” you said, taking his chin in your hands and kissing him on the lips one last time. You didn’t know why you did it but it felt right. Pulling away, you brushed your thumb over his lips and smiled. “It was a perfect first kiss, Fred.”

“Anytime.” he smirked, thinking for a moment then narrowing his eyes. “Shame. I always thought the Chosen one will become my brother-in-law.” 

“Don’t give up hope yet. I think he and Ginny would make quite a pair.” 

“Weasley and Potter. Has nice tone, doesn’t it.” he winked at you as you rolled your eyes. 

“Don’t take it too close to heart.” 

“Oh, I won’t. These Potters are dangerous when it comes to it.” he continued to tease.

“Goodnight, Fred!” you shouted. 

“Night Mrs. Future-Weasley.”

---

You and Fred stayed close. It was a strong friendship and you could always count on him. It drove Cedric over the wall whenever he would see the two of you even slightly together but he had you. You were his girl and that was all that he needed. 

When the second task came along, Harry was in quite a lot of distress. He was underground, watching three people closest to his heart being tied up underwater. 

He didn’t know who to save. He just kept pondering it over until Krum swam by and untied Hermione first. Harry trusted Cedric he would untie you, so whatever happened next, was the thing that was causing you too much worry. You were sitting by Cedric, wrapped around in a towel and looking Ron’s and Fleur’s little sister’s head pop out of the water, but Harry? He was nowhere to be seen. 

Cedric kept rubbing your back. “He’ll come out. He will.” but you worried so much that you almost felt yourself jump back into.

He finally appeared, making your heart-rate calm down. When he swam out, you gave him an enormous tight hug.

“Ger’ off.” he sturggled but you couldn’t let go. “You’re embarrasing me.”

“I don’t care.”

---

The night before the first task, you and Cedric were both laying wrapped in sheets, just enjoying eachother’s warmth and body. He kept making circles with his figner on your bare shoulder meanwhile you kept looking up at him with your googly eyes. 

He looked down, grinning. “Dreaming of a life with a Triwizard Champion?” he wiggled his eyebrows and you laughed. 

“Yeah. I think getting to say my brother is the Chosen one and a Triwizard Champion will be quite a privilage.” you replied and he scoffed. 

“Oh, so you’re rooting for my enemy.” 

“I just want this to be over and have you both safe in my arms.” your stretched your arms around his torso and placed your head on his chest, nuzzling closer. 

His hand moved up to your hair and he gently scratched your scalp, causing you to doze off. “We both got this far, didn’t we?”

“Yeah.” you said sleeply, making Cedric smile. He adored your sleepiness. “I have to admit I was more sure you’d pull through than Harry. Looks like I underestimated him.”

“He’s bright, I’ll give him that. Must be in the family.” he said. “I don’t know what happened to you.” he teased, making your head shot up and your fist punch his chest. He laughed, taking your head in his hands. “I’m joking. You’re smart as hell.”

“Yes, I am.” you said, placing your head back on his chest, feeling his heart beat fast, then slow itself down.

“And you’re beautiful.”

“Keep them going.” you smiled and he chuckled.

“And sexy.” he left out a growl, pulling you up and kissing you. 

“Don’t stop.” you smiled against his lips.

He kissed you again, this time softer and genlter and as he pulled you away, he looked deep into your eyes. “I’ll make you my wife one day.” he cupped your face once again. “And I’ll spoil you until the ends of Earth.” 

“You’ll buy me  small dog I can carry in purse?” you joked and he smiled.

“I’ll buy you a monkey if you say!”

“I think one is enough.” you patted his chest and he chuckled, grabbing you around the shoulders and squeezing you. 

“Why are you so mean!?”  he shook you in his arms, laughing and pinning you on the bed. “Don’t answer that.” he said quietly, observing your every feature. “I love you no matter your flaws.”

You widened your eyes, hearing him say those words from the first time and feeling a rush in your eyes as well as your heart. You threw your arms around him and pushed him on the other side of the bed. “I love you too.” you whispered in his ear. 

---

The whole third task you’ve been impatient. Just this one task and everything will be normal. Cedric and you will graduate, both of you will get a job, you will be able to spent more days with Sirius, Harry will spend the summer with you- everything will be perfect.

You couldn’t stop smiling. You just couldn’t. This task was about to end your future is about to begin. You were so bloody excited. You just kept cheering and loving every second that passed. 

And there it was. Cedric and Harry both appearing together. You were so happy! Everybody was on their feet, cheering and shouting. Everybody was so excited that the Hogwarts Champions won the tournament.

Until you heard Harry scream in agony and it you felt your legs being cut below your knee. You stared, watching Cedric pale and stoic, Harry covering him. You heard Cedric’s father scream in the same agony as Harry, you tumbled back being caught in Fred’s arms. 

“No- no.” you told yourself before moving everybody out of the way and running on the field, tumbling over your feet. “No! NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” you screamed throwing yourself over his body and screaming. “Cedric!” you screamed, framing his face with your hands and moving away his black hair. Everything that was alive last night was gone. There was no light, no smile, nothing. 

You felt yourself unable to breathe, you felt your heart being ripped out of your chest. 

You screamed for him. “You can’t! I love you! Remember! You love me! You said you’d get me the purse dog! You said we’ll get married!” you kept crying until Harry grabbed you and pulled you in his embrace, both crying.

‘At least Harry was alive. Harry is alive. Be thankful it’s not both.’ - you heard a voice in your head. ‘Harry. You still have Harry.’

But it didn’t cause any less pain and heartache. You just lost the love of your life, you lost your soulmate... you lost yourself. 

---

The last time you walked through the gates of Hogwarts, you were a completely different person. Harry always told the others that you haven’t been coping well with Cedric’s death. 

He was indeed, correct. 

You graduated with nothing but emptiness in your soul. You didn’t talk much, you couldn’t. He was your best friend. He was everything to you. Life without him did not cease to exist for you and every night you cried yourself to sleep and every morning you woke up to an enormous headache and pain in both of your eyes because of that. 

You didn’t care though. Since Sirius died, your sole mission was to protect Harry. Only Harry. He was the only family you had left. You protect Harry. That’s all you have to do but when you walked through those gates, through the gates where every single memory of Cedric splashed you like a rebel wave... you simply couldn’t hold yourself much together. 

“You changed.” you heard someone say beside you. You turned your head to see Fred with his usual grin. 

“Hey, Fred.” you wrapped your arms around him, hugging him tightly. 

“I’m sorry.” he whispered immediately. “For everything that happened to you.”

“I’m not the only one who lost a loved one in this war.” you said, putting your hand on his shoulder and giving him a weak smile,

But he saw it. He saw the pain in your eyes. He saw how broken you were just when he looked into your eyes. He also noticed something else. Something nobody else had. “You’re not afraid?” he asked but it sounded more as a statement than a question. 

“No, I’m not.” you looked at him, taking his hand in yours. “I’m going to look that murderous snake in the eyes and I’m going to show him hell he hasn’t even imagined.” you snarled, looking at the distance and squeezing his hand. 

He squeezed it back, differently than you, comfortly. You looked at him from the affection you were so foreign to and felt a smile reach your cheeks. “There’s the smile.” he spun you around slowly, making you giggle for the first time in a long time again. 

“Thank you.” you said, letting go of his hand and glancing at the courtyart. “Ready to beat some Deatheaters?” 

“Born ready, love.” he said, walking beside you.

---

You’ve been around Harry most of the battle until you lost him. Until there were Deatheaters coming from every corner and the two of you had to be seperated. You had eyes on most of the people. Remus and Tonks quickly disappeared somewhere into the towers, Harry was out of your sight after solid 30 minutes, Hermione ran into the castle, Ron behind her, George, Percy and Fred were all fighting together, covering their six. 

It was just as you finished the last two Deatheaters when you locked eyes with him in the distance, remembering the boy who gave you your first kiss. He winked, shouting something to Percy before the wall behind him exploading, wiping your smile off quicker than anything you’ve imagined. You apparated at the rubble, coming to his aid and helping his brothers pull him out of the dust. Percy was screaming, shooting at the sky and other Deatheaters with so much fury and anger you have ever seen in that man. George was staring at his twin, almost as he didn’t exist anymore. 

You framed Fred’s head, just as you did with Cedric all those years ago. Fred was dead... just like him. Tears prickled down your cheeks and you leaned your forehead on his, sobbing but quickly calming down. 

He was one of your best friends. He was the one who made you smile when nobody else could. He was the only one who knew how to deal with your attitude when you were grieving after Cedric. He was there, always and now he’s gone. “I’m so sorry, Freddie.” you pressed your head into his shirt, taking his usual scent in your nostrills. “Thank you.” you paused. “For everything.” you kissed his lips softly before getting on your feet and feeling the same rage fill your body as it did with Percy. 

You tightened your grip around your wand and made you way, searching only for one specific person. He was there, preparing to kill off your last family. You appeared in front of him before he got the chance, casting spells, one after the other. 

Your attack was aggresive at first. It took Lord Voldemort by surprise and off balance at first. “YOU KILLED EVERYBODY I EVER LOVED!” you cried, shooting curse after curse and hitting him once with Crucio but only for a slightest moment. 

People around you almost thought you’d win, your little brother thought that maybe, just maybe you could be the Potter to finish off Voldemort. But the Dark Lord was as well as immune to your crucio curse.

“You’re weak!” he cackled, shooting the crucio curse and making you kneel, agony running down your veins. “I should have killed you the day I murdered your pathethic parents! Should have finished you first before I moved to your weak brother! ALL OF YOU! WEAK!” he continued. “Maybe you can watch your little brother get the same fate as your mother and father?” he moved forward towards Harry, shooting a crucio curse at him. You broke free from his controll and jumped right in front of Harry. 

Black.

It was hateful, it was powerful. You didn’t know how much hatred Voldemort had for Harry until you faced his Crucio curse intended for him. 

You opened your eyes, your body burning, shaking, your brother holding you and crying. “Don’t leave me, (y/n).” he sobbed, pressing his forehead on yours. 

You couldn’t speak. You just needed to know.

“You can’t leave me now. It’s over. We won. You’ll get healthy and- and-”

“Harry.” Hermione said gently, putting her hand on his shoulder. “She won’t make it. I’m sorry.”

“DON’T SAY THAT!” he shouted, rocking you in his arms. “You’ll be okay. You’ll be okay. I can’t lose you.”

Trying, forcing yourself to use the last bit of energy in your body. You put your hand on his cheek and gave him weak smile. “Remember, Harry.” you said, feeling blood rise up in your thorat but you forced it back down, tasting iron on your tongue. “You deserve the world. We’ll always-” you caughed, feeling drained and numb. 

“I know.” he closed his eyes shut and cried. 

Hermione was right beside you, forcing tears to stay in her eyes.’Take care of him for me.’  And it was like she could hear your thoughts, she nodded. 

She put her hand on your cheek and smiled. “It’s okay. You can let go and be with Cedric now.” 

And with that, you closed your eyes. As much as you thought that everything will get dark, you opened them to see familiar figure standing in front of you. “Cedric?”

The figure turned around, grey eyes smiling at yours. “I told you I’d wait for you.” 

[aggresivelyfriendly]

Chapter 1- I saw Emma Kissing Santa Claus!

Hi all! If anybody is still there/ I’m caught up in this song. It’s given me the idea for like seven chapter- here is the first. MERRY CHRISTMAS 🎄🎁! The rest will be late, like those gifts that trickle in when the glow of the holidays is getting hazy. We need Christmas cheer to linger after this year, so I’m gonna publish as I write! Enjoy! And share!

They talked about it later, years after their lives had taken off into space in opposite directions, the moment they knew.

Well, the moment he knew.

"Wait, what?" Emma asked, looking up from the hollow she'd found between his arm and chest when the December air found the crevices in the windows and chilled their skin. She'd get goose flesh and he'd run his hands up and down her limbs to warm her, then pull the flannel up and over them, no matter how warm he was from doing all the work near their end. "We kissed? When we were TEENAGERS?"

"Well, I was technically a teenager the first time we slept together too."

"We didn't sleep."

Harry wiggled his eyebrows at her and smirked, "Oh, I know."

"Oh my god, I really don't remember this!" She turned all the Christmas parties she'd attended at his mum's house over in her head. Emma figured she'd been at the annual event every year since she was 15 or 16, the age he says he was when they kissed. She has almost three years on him. Maybe she was 14 at the first one. That one she recalls well, She's pretty she still had braces. Nobody kissed her. If her math is good, it's her last Christmas before moving. "No wonder you were so ballsy last year!" She slapped at his chest and he grabbed her hand and kissed her fingertips.

"Nah, that was more to do with last year. I was just flush and nobody had turned me down in so long I didn't think anybody ever would again."

"I did!" She at least pretended she wasn't captivated.

"You did. At first!" He reminded her and bit her fingertips before sucking them into his mouth. "Made myself irresistible evidently." He wiggled his eyebrows.

She rolled her eyes thinking back at his dogged flirting. He'd found multiple reasons to be near her and had found her close enough to the mistletoe and was charming enough that she accepted the kiss he negotiated out of her as inevitable. Negotiated, that was laughable, he laid one on her and it overwhelmed her reason. Emma thought she played it cool enough, though she remembers they held hands for the the 10 minutes after, at least.

She accepted the other things he was offering on the strength of that kiss, and the fact that since he'd slipped his tongue into her mouth so seamlessly, convincingly, all she could think about for the hours intervening was what else his mouth could do.

While she replayed the memory of that first kiss, the one that counted for her, another blurry memory flashed in her mind.

"Oh! Was it underneath the mistletoe, too?"

Harry rolled his eyes, and her beneath him in the same breath. "You were under the mistletoe the second time!"

"I was mistletoe adjacent, at best." She sighed, she meant to jest, but his long lean body pressed along the length of her clouded her mind and convinced her she wasn't tired anymore or too tipsy off champagne.

"The first time, was me under the mistletoe."

"I kissed you?"

"You did." He confirmed with another kiss.

"How'd I kiss you? Like full on?" She was a little mortified she'd kissed little Harry.

Gemma would have killed her. Would still! That was why she and Harry always just flirted at the party and met up at the inn when the wine had everybody off their head. Nobody knew, it was their Christmas surprise. The secret she looked forward to all year.

"Well, you weren't brave enough to slip me the tongue." He stuck his tongue into the corner of his mouth; that was too attractive by half.

"Hmph." Was all Emma could come up to answer with. "Did I say anything?" She smoothed her hands up his back.

His face got dreamy, and he seemed to be reliving something. "Yeah, you told me 'you're getting cute little Styles.' I always hated that nickname, but I felt a little taller that night."

Harry was descriptive, which was funny considering he could be so quiet at times, but he was quick and he knew a lot of words, more than her. He was working on his third language. He would basically narrate while they fucked and it drove her crazy when he'd describe how she looked and felt and what it was doing to him.

"What do you want to ask?" He pressed his nose to the place her collarbones met and she could fill him growing between her legs.

"How'd you know I want to ask something?" He was too observant.

He reached up and pulled the lip she didn't realize was between her teeth free. Ahh.

"Ask." He kissed the lip still imprinted with her teeth marks.

"Tell me about it. Describe it, like you do for me when you're inside me."

He blew out a breath, "Should be easy, I obsessed over it for ages after, before even."

"Before?"

"Yeah, I have had a crush on you since you were 12 and started coming round with Gem." He revealed.

"No, I don't believe it!"

"I loved that you already had your whole life planned out and you were sooo smart and then the next year you had boobs."

"That started out so well." She almost protested, she had boobs at 12!

"I was very impressed by the boobs, you wore this sweater—" she clapped a hand over his mouth.

"No more talking unless it's about that party."

He smiled at her and his eyes went soft at their corners, his dimples were suggestions of a deep feeling. "I think you had this idea, like this was your last Christmas here, in Holmes Chapel—"

She had had that idea. She'd intended to leave for a summer term in Sweden that spring and wasn't sure she'd be coming back. And she'd always loved that party, and Gemma's family. Even Gemma's goofy weird brother who was getting cuter and more confident. "Why do you say that?"

"Dunno," he tilted his head and his mouth flattened out and his eyes went somewhere else, he was looking at her but not the version in front of him. "I think you reminded me of my cousins' when they could first drink. Seemed like you were just throwing caution to the wind, letting it fly. Like you had nothing to lose, cuz this place was about to be a memory."

Emma could only find the energy to stare, she thought she nodded. He was spot on, but she wasn't even sure she could have articulated those feelings then. And she hadn't been that reckless ever before or after that day.

"I'd been watching you, and like I said, had a crush for years, um, and like, you were wearing that shiny top, like liquid silver and your long brown hair was all curled up and your cheeks were red with your merry making and I'd always loved your laugh. You're usually so calculated—"

"That's not a nice word."

"I don't mean it like a bad thing, like maybe a better word would be careful. Like all your moves were preparation for the grand future you were working towards. But when you laugh, it all falls away. Tears leak from the corners of your eyes and you bend at the waist and just lose it. That night you did it a lot." He kissed her knuckles. "Did you notice I was kind of shadowing you that night?"

"Honestly, not really, I was kinda out of it, or maybe really in it instead of 5 years ahead." She always was at least a week ahead in her mind. In the actual moment, she was usually just ticking that day's checklist off to get to the next thing.

"Yeah. I could see it, you were really in your body, and it made me want you more." He laughed. "The only other time I ever see you like that is...ah..."

"Go on!" She jostled his shoulder.

He bit his lip like the imp he was and said, "When we fuck, it's like when you laugh, there's no tomorrow, or next semester, or internship you have lined up, just the next orgasm on the horizon."

She knew she was blushing but she ducked her chin and shrugged. She couldn't deny it. She could feel that when he moved inside her, when they moved together, it was like when she really lost her head and laughed at something. Better, more. Emma definitely did not tell him it was never like that with anybody else.

Not her college boyfriend, or the Danish guys she'd enjoyed over their version of freshers, and certainly not the completely nice guy she'd been dating for two months back in Amsterdam. Not one of them made her get out of her head the way Harry could. They'd be following every direction she gave them from tongue placement to tempo and she'd be observing the feelings as opposed to experiencing them. But even remembering her first kiss with Harry was a sensory experience. She gave him direction because that's who she is, but she's fairly certain even if she didn't, he'd be able to get her off just by watching her.

She wondered if it was the same as her. He was more cerebral than anybody gave him credit for. Maybe if he talked more about the kiss she'd find out.

He caught her chin, "Where'd you go?" He asked with dopey green eyes.

"I'm just trying to remember." Emma lied. "Tell me more, maybe it will come back to me."

"Oh, from my memory of the proof of your breath you may never remember." Emma could feel her cheeks heat. She had really tied one on, she was absolutely rough the next day. Utterly useless.

"Yeah, I wasn't sure I'd ever be here again."

"In Holmes Chapel? Really? You thought you'd never come back?"

"I always wanted to leave so bad, I genuinely thought I wouldn't miss it."

"But you did? You do?"

She nodded. She didn't want to explain that the first time she was way more homesick than she expected and this year, well, this year she wanted him for Christmas again.

He gave her this face then and a kiss that made her think he really was a mind reader, his crystal ball in the shape of her body.

"Not everyday." Take that Mr. Intuitive.

He gave her a smile that looked like a wink and started talking, "Like I said, I'd always just found you so impressive and you were always so pretty. But you came back from Amsterdam different."

"It was all the bike riding," she deflected and ran her hands down his arms to his lower back.

"Nah, it wasn't your body. That's always been nice. You just seemed like you were so happy and it was coming out of your pores."

"With the mulled wine?"

"Yeah! Definitely the mulled wine." He kissed her one then pressed his mouth to hers," Might have been your legs."

She snorted, "See it was the biking."

"You also had them out!" He defended. She had worn a daring skirt. "And maybe the biking." He laughed with her. "You also did that snort laugh I'd only heard through the walls during sleep overs and I was kinda tracking you."

"Stalker." He made a face. "Sorry probably not a joke to you." They didn't really talk about the peculiarities of his job. He was just Hometown Harry to her. Gemma's little brother. Her Christmas gift wrapped in deliciousness the last two years.

"I didn't really mean to, honestly. Was just like water to it's path."

"That's poetic." She teased.

"Hey, I'm a songwriter."

"I'd like to see evidence of that." Emma raised an eyebrow.

"You will." She wanted to ask but he just kept going. "Wanna know the funny thing? I never really had to look hard to find you." He went on. "You always seemed to be in the corners of my eye, like a dream I was trying to remember.

"I kind of remember that." She rolled her eyes and summoned some courage, "You looked different, and I tried to ignore it, but the more wine I had, the more I found myself comparing you to the boy I remembered from two years before."

"Hadn't been that long. I was with Gem when she told you goodbye."

She cringed. "I don't think I really looked at you that day."

"Oof, good thing I have crowds of people to stroke the old ego." At least the laugh seemed genuine though his eyes were a little dull.

"I was really remembering you in your red jumper from two parties before."

"Tell me about that party- we got off track talking about the last one." Last year she remembered In technicolor.

"Where were you the year after?"

"Studying, of course."

"Yeah makes sense." He pinched his lip, then bit hers.

"I remember thinking your jumper suited you so well and—"

"Matched your eyes."

"Yeah." She could feel the wonder of his eyes.

"But by midnight I saw that guy Spencer with his arm around your waist. Went to get a drink and was sulking with my own wine when you passed me. You had this look."

"Drunk?"

"Mischievous." He raised his eyebrows and bit his lip, "And then you pointed to the mistletoe."

"And said, 'caught you.'"

"You do remember!" He accused with a still annoyingly attractive chicken neck.

"I didn't, but I'm having a sense memory now." She widened her hips so he fit in like a piece of ikea hardware.

"Care to relive it?" He was trying to sound nonchalant, but she could see the hopeful blush.

She answered him by fitting her lips between his perfect ones and giving a lighter pressure than she had for two Christmases, waiting for his direction of how her bold move had turned out. He moaned and she sucked just a bit like she suddenly recalled. She really thought that was a wine fueled daydream, she swears. And then her mouth opened on a gasp and she slid her tongue against his and licked into his mouth before sliding her nose to the other side of his. The kiss depended until it was all over them and they would have wound up naked if they hadn't been already.

"This is different."

"We can re-enact it a little bit more faithfully later. It can be your Christmas present." Emma whispered between kisses.

"Nah." He was actually blushing, all the way down. "You're my gift."

[papers4me]

Fruits Basket, Se03. ep 4.

and we’re back to the main plot! This ep was good & visually expressive.

-Isuzu ( Akito’s perfect abused toy):

Isuzu embodies everything Akito hates; She’s the exact image of Akito’s mom; the dark long hair, sexy body, womanly charms, the steaming explicit love relationship with Haru) but unlike akito’s mom who’s hard to control & torture, Isuzu is a helpless zodiac who can’t fight back against the zodiac Ruler! Akito can hurt Isuzu verbally & physically while projecting it all on Ren. Through hurting Isuzu, Akito can fantasize on getting back on her mother for neglecting, hating her & stealing a zodiac (sleeping with Shigure ).

In Akito’s delusional mind: ISUZU IS REN. Therefore,

cutting Isuzu’s floating seductive hair (means cutting her mom’s control over her. deforming her mom’s image & “uglifying” it. “Ren” can no longer be prettier than “me”.

Hurting Isuzu’s body (means deforming the seductive womanly charms that Ren used with Shigure). Shigure won’t find “Ren” sexy now with her “short hair & scarred body”, he’ll stay faithful to “me”. No ugly creature will “steal” him or anyone of “them” anymore.

locking Isuzu in the cat’s room (means that in Akito’s mind, REN is the zodiacs monster! locking her away meaning gaining control over her status. “The horrible monster is locked away, the majestic ruler saves the poor zodiacs”.

Isuzu is locked while everybody “suspects” sth bad has happened to her & are “advised” against investigating (means the policy of obeying the family heads, turning their back on the abused & enabling abuse is still going on).

Even when Isuzu was saved, it took some time before anybody dared to take action. Even while taking action to save Isuzu, it is only for saving this current victim, the abuser still stands, still free to try again, still able to punish others.

-Kureno taking action or protecting an abuser?

There’s no doubt that kureno is kind & wouldn’t want anything bad to happen to Isuzu or anybody for that matter. However, Kureno’s brand of kindness has always been toxic & immensely harmful to him & others. While he indeed helped free Isuzu, he continued to shield Akito, holding her cheek kindly, softly lecturing “bad Akito, please no hurt/torture/kill poor zodiac girl”.  He waits for Akito to “realize” her wrongful deeds & “ heals” herself & “decides” to stop the abuse. Abusers don’t just decide to stop one day after they realize oops, I’m bad. Abusers must be stopped at once. Especially the ones with mental & emotional issues. I know it is hard for Kureno to stop protecting Akito, as you could argue that he’s “conditioned to obey” from young age. However, it doesn’t matter if his his intentions are good, he’ll either be Akito’s silent accomplice or get her fury.

-Isuzu’s quest to save kind haru:

Isuzu has always looked at her self as rotten/bad, while haru is good. She’s dirty & he’s clean. The theme of “ don’t take advantage of kind ppl as they’re too stupid to save themselves” has always tormented Isuzu. That’s why she was cold & mean to tohru, to save her from her foolish kindness. That’s why she was harsh to yuki, she believed haru’s kindness towards helpless yuki is harmful to haru. Above all, she wants to save kind haru from her “sinful” self! She wants kind ppl to be happy & away from rotten/ bad ppl like her! (does she reminds you of someone? kyo!). Alas, this self-condemning mentality led her to a locked room. Hurt, sad, in pain, tears, darkness, all alone & on the verge of death. That’s why when haru showed up, he said” is your journey over? come home to me” The quest is over. Rest & accept that you’re not a burden.

-Guilt is the immense monster tearing you from the inside:

Hiro is a huge parallel to kyo this ep with kisa & isuzu paralleling tohru, Kyoko & kyo’s mom. He felt immense guilt towards kisa for thinking that he’d caused her physical & emotional suffering by confessing to Akito. Kisa’s journey for recovery from her physical & emotional scars was especially hard on hiro. Even when she smiled, he’d think if only I hadn’t caused her pain. He feels the same towards Isuzu. This is the exact situation where kyo’s at except it is amplified ten times cause of DEATH. tohru’s journey towards recovering from her mom’s sudden death is not easy despite all the smiles. Tohru talks to a framed picture as her mother for God’s sake!!!! this sad! so sad! It hurts to see her craving her mother’s presence & knowing that he is involved somehow. Kyo’s guilt amplifies each time tohru fake smiles. This guilt that kyo built inside him was drilled by a past experience of his moms death & the sohma’s, his dad verbal accusations. While kisa & hiro found escape from guilt’s vicious suffocating grap by confessing their fears, the fact that both kisa & hiro are younger somewhat less traumatized helped. The ppl hiro fears he hurt are saved, alive & will be happy. Kisa is surrounded by her family. Kyo can’t apologize to angry kyoko or his miserable mom. they’re dead. Tohru is an orphan who lives “ temporarily” with the sohma’s. The time where she MUST leave & pursue her life after graduation is near... where will tohru go?.. where is her own family? This is all a set up to the climax! Epic writing!

Side Notes:

Akito scared me with her, “ do you know what’s inside the box? it’s father” ! chills!! is it his ashes? This reminded me of tohru’s cold photo frame of her mom.  I see tohru/akito parallel in the making! love it!

Isuzu’s eps always full of good visual symbolism.

Dark haru is always a good sight! whether for comedy or for plot. It is always well-used!

“Pity love” is a theme here. Haru, a teenager, declared his true love, while kureno, a grown man, stood silent. watching. learn kureno learn!

The cat room is a hideous place! OMG! the cell’s /“cage’s” door is small & doesn’t fit a standing human, like a cat’s door! so, the prisoner crawls to get inside? ugh!

Isuzu was there for days even weeks. let this sink. She refused food. she was mentally crushed & blackmailed by Akito using her love for Haru (the same way she blackmailed kyo using his love for tohru). This is a huge crime. Hideous deed that deserves more than a gentle touch on the abuser’s cheek with soft reprimanding. Akito’s response when she lost haru was the childish behavior of screaming & piunding with her fists on the ground. Kazuma’s “ akito is like a spoiled child”.

The scars Akito inflected on the young sohma’s run deep. It would be interesting to see if akito gets redemption, how’ll they react? will the scars disappear cuz yay the baddie is goddie now? or the scars remain & they’ll choose forgiveness like yuki did? or they’ll hold  grudge? can’t wait to see.

So Isuzu got her hair cut... man, the only hair cut I wanted was yuki’s! I wanted part of his growth to be loosing the Akito’s look.

Speaking of looks, Hiro is the spitting image of kyo but with bigger eyes! He looks exactly like kyo in Kazuma’s flashback in se01 finale & in kagura’s memories in se02, ep, 11 with the exact uniform!

loved that haru avoided hitting Akito. Not for akito, but knowing haru, he’ll suffer once he cool down cuz he hurt someone.

The bond is tearing. I honestly thought that haru leaving akito will cause more than that & it will tear!

I hated that one shot of naked Isuz walking away. Why not clothed? She wasn’t on the bed with him, so it doesn’t make sense.

so, how did Kureno get Isuzu from the cat’s cage? She’ll transform??

Also, Hatori what will you do now that another victim was hospitalized? still carry screaming Akito, comforting her? Who will have to be hurt before you take action? silently treating the victims wounds is NOT action.

I knew Isuzu will run from the hospital as soon as they said she was hospitalized! XD. They should’ve kept an eye on her. she’s weak.

So, shigure’s “ love” didn’t heal Akito nor his “ love-making” toned her fury on Ren’s look alike. Feeling guilty shigure? No?

Also, while it is not directly his fault, but it is ironic that kureno’s meeting with tohru where he decided to “ stay” by akito & not leave, has led to Isuzu tracking him right into Ren’s trap & falling victim to Akito. In short, his passive choice to NOT take action has led to unintentional disaster. Take the right action kureno. Leaveeeeee~~~

please let the next ep continues the plot & not jump somewhere else. give me at least tow/three continuous eps, then jump.