#cuz i used her for this task last year too lol

[mamabear-elinor]

SwynWriMo Day One – Villanelle Poem

In crumbling castle with ivy wall

In a crumbling castle with ivy wall, where the whistling wind is full scorn, I waited to hear your children call.   

The seasons passed and snowflakes fall against a window that garland adorn, in crumbling castle with ivy wall. 

You write a letter in chicken scratch scrawl about little socks and little sheep shorn. I waited to hear your children call. 

The women all dance at the autumn ball they laugh and jeer and point and scorn in crumbling castle with ivy wall.

You say how can we lose them all? Empty, losing patience, and, as forlorn I waited to hear your children call. 

The weeping tree you planted will be as tall in spring when livestock’s bairns are born. In a crumbling castle with ivy wall, I waited to hear your children call. 

[ophiespeaks]

Pleeaaassse tell me what you're changing😃 I'm always up to discuss stuff for my Star Wars DR cuz I know barely anything😂

oh my gosh yes!!!

so essentially, my main problem with the sequel films is that they made rey way too overpowered way too quickly because of poor choices made by the directors and writers. i could ramble for hours about JJ Abram’s negative impact on the star wars canon and how passion for a project doesn’t always equal a polished product, but that’s a whole other thing lol.

so, pretty much everything from episodes 1-6 is canon in my dr. anakin’s turn to the dark side, luke skywalker’s mastery of the force, etc. but— everything after that is sort of my own interpretation! Basically, I’m the sole survivor of a planet that was destroyed by the Empire years ago. My parents sent me to the Jedi temple because of my force abilities and i was taken on as a youngling pretty much immediately because luke didn’t want to be the last of a dying species. I was the first youngling after the fall of the empire, but he’d slowly get more and more young force users to build up a school of jedi younglings. In my dr but not necessarily in canon, a youngling is slightly different from a padawan. younglings are taught the force basics. history of the jedi, stories of the sith, midichlorians, all that boring stuff. Then, when they’re older, they’re taken on as an official padawan to begin their actual jedi training. essentially i don’t think 5 year olds should be wielding lightsabers and have the weight of the world on their shoulders so i made younglings and padawans different things!!!

I was the oldest youngling and the first padawan luke took on (besides Leia, but she left for the same reasons she does in canon— she’s told if she becomes a Jedi then her son will fall to the dark side). In the prequels, we see padawan braids— and i thought the idea was so cool that i took some inspiration from canon and made the braids way more complicated than they needed to be.

they’re broken down into two types of markers: bands (like rubber bands to hold the hair together!) and beads (decorative colored cylinders) that each have meaning!

bands:

bands signify the steps on the journey, mostly the passage of time.

Black - Black is the initial band that is given to start the braid, given to younglings when they’re accepted into the temple.

Yellow - Yellow is the band given when a jedi master takes on the youngling as a Padawan. It marks their first steps to becoming a Jedi.

Purple - Purple is the band given with each year of progression. I imagine the Jedi used to have a ceremony each year where every youngling/padawan gained a new purple band.

White - Completion of Jedi training. Will always be the last marker of the braid, meant to signify that the padawan is ready to take the trials to become a Jedi.

beads:

beads signify the completion of a task, or the mastery of an area of force learning.

White - Force Healing

Blue - Mechanics (technical force abilities, lightsaber creation, droid work, engines, it kind of encompasses ALL mechanics)

Red - Piloting

Green - Living Force (Meditiation, force visions, etc.)

Yellow - Weapons (typically lightsabers)

Black - Completion of covert operation (think of obi-wan and qui-gon being tasked with protecting padme in episode 1, that’s a “covert operation”)

A padawan has to get all of their beads and bands to be able to qualify to take on the trials. However, I never got that far: here’s some more lore from my dr!

So, I was taken on as a padawan at 10. After living my whole life at the temple and learning jedi teachings since like 1 year old. While I am inherently powerful with the Force, years of discipline were in order before I could just go out and have cool lightsaber fights with bad guys. All the while— the New Republic is slowly falling to the First Order. The way the old empire had established itself was through careful politics. But, since the New Republic had barely been established after the fall of the empire, the First Order uses much more brutality and forceful tactics to win sections of the galaxy. At 12, I convinced Luke to let me help with the New Republic/Rebellion. He thought that i’d be safe in Leia’s hands, and it would count as covert operations for obtaining my black padawan bead, so it’s allowed. But I do have to maintain Jedi code. A big portion of which is focused on steering clear of attachments and being selfless. So, I’m essentially an advisor to Leia on behalf of what’s left of the Jedi order. Around this same time Leia and Han notice that Ben’s force capabilities are too much for them to handle, so they send him to the temple with Luke. It’s almost like we swap places, which is cool. Leia really likes me and because he’s gone, I’m almost like a surrogate kid to her. All the while I’m just trying my best to help the rebellion and complete my Jedi training. My teachings still go on— Luke uses force projection usually, or if we’re not busy we meet on an outer-rim planet. But it’s too dangerous to go back and forth all the time because the First Order might find the Jedi temple.

I turn 18 and realize that I’ve kinda got to make a choice. The Rebellion is in the midst of what is essentially an ongoing war with the First Order, but if I’m going to become a Jedi I’d need to go back to the temple soon for the more intensive parts of finishing up my training. Unfortunately, the choice is kind of made for me not too long afterwards. I sense a disturbance and immediately pull together Han, Leia, and some of the Rebellion to return to the Jedi temple. And it’s…empty. It becomes apparent that Ben Solo sold the temple out and it was raided by First Order, who took the younglings to become the knights of Ren. And Luke is nowhere to be found. So, I dedicate myself to finding him. Han and Leia give me the falcon to go out and search for him, and I do. Living by myself and hopping from planet to planet, usually doing some good deeds here or there. A kill order is placed on my head by Kylo Ren, who I’ve come to gather is the lost Ben Solo.

So, that’s where my dr actually starts lmao. I’m marooned in Jakuu until I can trade enough to patch up the falcon. Finn’s still a defector because that’s such a cool plot line, Poe Dameron still crashes, and essentially I replace Rey because she’s boring 🤭 but I actually have a REASON to be powerful.

Main changes to what actually happens is that this isn’t really a war dr, at least not really. The New Order and the Rebellion kinda have to team-up against giant force monsters (they’re a thing in comics/expanded universe content it’s so difficult to explain what the hell I’m talking about so just trust me). So, Kylo and I actually have to work directly together as a Jedi Padawan and Sith Apprentice because that’s such a cool idea in my head. Meanwhile, I’m still looking for Luke AND I’ve also started training a force-sensitive Finn as a Padawan. There’s kind of a lot going on lol.

sorry i like yapping you don’t have to read allat🙏

[intothegenshinworld]

Sooo, I hope you don't mind, feel free to ignore this if you want, but Kazuha and Diluc are saying smth.

I started playing at the beginning of Kazuha's 1st banner last year and I somehow got Kazuha on 40 pulls. So not only extremely early, but also a won 50/50.(I was extremely grateful after I actually learned about pity and all that jazz). Sadly, after him, I never won a 50/50 again, which ig is just bad luck until I saw a couple coincidences that were a tad bit too sus. The next character I tried to pull was Raiden(makes since why Kazuha wouldn't want her on the team lol), but I got Keqing. Ofc, that sounds like smth normal, until you take into account that at the time my favorite element was electro and I really wanted Keqing at the time, cuz her playstyle is fun, despite the low dmg. After that mainly Diluc came again and again, more onto that later(Mona also managed to slip through once lol). Speeding up a little, we come to Klee and Kazuha banner. I do a 10 pull, knowing I'd get a 5 star and really wanted Klee, but I knew that I probably won't get her, so I didn't get my hopes up. Apparently Kazuha heard my decided to be nice this time and gave me Mona first and then Klee back to back in the same pull(I ain't complaining), but then I do another 10 pull on his banner. 6 pity. On the 6th pull this little mf came home, making him officially my first AND second won 50/50 AND the first limited 5 star to have a constalation.

Now, as for Diluc. I originally got him first on standard banner, and he hasn't stopped coming home since. The only 2 50/50 that weren't Filuc were 2 Mona and 1 Keqing. Over all on different accs and friends acc he has come home to me when pulling 7 times in total. Not only that, but when I got Keqing on standard and I was a bit bummed that it wasn't Diluc, cuz I wanted his cons, 3 pulls later he strolls in like he owns the place. And one more thing. I have a side acc for when I tried the 1st character I get I main thing and I did the free 10 pull you get at the start of the game and guess what. The very first pull on the standard banner was Diluc. He also came along with Sara, cuz he knew I would need a bow user early game and that I don't like overlapping elements so early on, cuz I actually need the others. He made sure he was staying.

Aaand that should be all. Again, feel free to ignore if doesn't strike your fancy and I'm sorry, for making you read through all of this TvT

Note: I hope this is what you wanted :D Also!! please share the Diluc luck. I havem't gotten him on my main nor ult account </3 Diluc... please come home

When Kazuha felt a pull, unfamiliar but so SO warm, he welcomed the golden star that crashed down from the sky. Your presence was… an experience. He had to get used to being a vessel, but no stories in Teyvat could describe that magical feeling you radiated.

Before he knew it, the two of you had fallen into a routine. You’d awaken and do these small tasks all over Teyvat. And as insignificant they seemed to him, it was something that belonged to your routine, and as an extension, to his.

After a while, you started to rain down meteors again. He can't help but feel anxious. Your presence was still there but it was getting awfully close to the Shogunate.

Kazuha knows what he did was wrong, but it doesn't stop him. He tugs your presence towards him and away from the Shogun.

When the golden star flies down from the skies it lands further away than planned. The next thing he remembered is the proud expression on the Yuheng of the Liyue Qixing’s face.

It’s been like that for a year now. Members come and go but Kazuha usually persists. Because of this, he’s gotten to know you better as well. Sometimes, even if it’s his imagination, he hears you talk to him. It’s never a long conversation but he supposes it to be his own fault. After all, he cannot talk back.

During one of your conversations with him, he heard you mention something new. You wanted Klee. ]

During the Iradori Festival, he had gotten to know the little girl. She had a pyro vision and seemed to make you happy with her energetic behavior. So- when he saw the golden star fall down he tried his hardest to make your wishes come true. When he saw Mona glow up he frowned. Had it not been enough?

A moment later he realized he'd been impatient. The small girl seems to pop up out of nowhere with a golden glow similar to Mona's. Two golden stars falling at the same moment is extremely rare, but the look on your face was worth the trouble he went through.

After that, Kazuha looks up hoping to catch your gaze in the sky. He feels your presence near him. You’re there somewhere right? Are you proud of him? Can you see how happy you make him?

When another golden star flies down towards the group he welcomes the feeling with open arms.

He hears your voice,

“Welcome home, Kazuha.”

Diluc knew how rough the world could be. From the moment that first star flew towards Dawn Winery, he felt like he found his purpose. Though, at times he felt like he’s experienced a moment like this before. It all feels like a distant dream but he tries his hardest to chase that feeling, and thus, you.

He doesn't feel bad about it either.

The knights of Favonius have enough on their hands. Surely, he’s a better candidate than Jean, and he’s definitely more fit than that small child with the cryo vision. Can't you see? He's doing you a favor.

When you're near, he tries his hardest to prove how strong he is. Diluc knows you like him too so him chasing after you is not a bad thing, right?

If you ever frown when he comes home it might hurt him for a moment, but only for that one moment.

It's never enough to stop him from chasing after you.

Good luck. You’re never getting rid of these two.

[lilysdaydreams]

Praise Bingus (No fucking way)

→  I do not claim to know corpse- therefore please don't think that this is what he would actually act like, or that any details about his life are actually true. this is fiction.

→ Pairing: Corpse Husband X Fem!Reader

→ Genre: Angst and fluff. (FLUFF IS COMING I SWEAR)

→ Words: 3.9k

→ In a world where everyone is born with a mark on their wrist, two souls come together over the power of bingus.

→ (this isnt crack lol)

→ Warnings: Lots of swearing, um self-depreciation? rejection (kinda) and negative thoughts overall. Sorry im new to warnings.

→ Authors Note: this is the first time im doing like angst so please tell me if I did well? Um also, I’ve already started on the part 2 so keep your eyes out for that. If you wanna be tagged for part two please comment and lemme know. Also check out my other fics if you want!

→ Buy me a coffee

Part two  →    

~~~

Soulmates were a phenomenon. They'd been there for ages, drawn into the Egyptian tomb paintings, seen in the cave paintings from millions of years ago, talked about in stories passed down from generation to generation. They could be matching drawings, first words, names; all black before the soulmates met and turning gold the moment they talked to each other. There wasn't a scientist in the world who could explain the phenomenon.

You'd received your mark at birth just like everyone else, a sentence running around your wrist,

"No fucking way."

Your parents weren't that happy when you asked at the age of 4 what "fucking" meant but it wasn't that bad. You were happy that you had something unique, something other than the "Hi," or "Excuse me," that was on every other arm.

When you were 13, a little girl on the train pointed to your wrist and asked her mom what it meant. Ever since then, you'd taken to wearing bracelets over it. This had turned out to be a good idea because a few years later you started making Youtube videos. At the age of 16, you started a Youtube channel where you focused on a variety of things; makeup, fashion, games, art, skits and a whole lot more.

At the age of 20, you had a steady following of a little more than a million subscribers, and you had moved to LA to be closer to all your Youtube friends. You hadn't just grown on Youtube, you'd also started a lot of side projects. You were known for the art that you did on the side, along with the makeup palette you'd come out with a year ago. Soon you were planning to release a merch collection, one that you had been working on for a whole year now.

You hadn't met your soulmate at this point but honestly, you didn't really mind. Balancing Youtube and study (along with all your other side projects) was hard. There was no need to add the struggle of love into it... Or that's what you told yourself anyways.

There were days though, days where you wished you had someone to hug, someone to cuddle in bed with, someone to go on long walks with. You didn't let yourself wallow on it that long though. Crying about it was gonna do absolutely nothing.

It started on a rainy day. The story of you and him. You were editing your soon to be uploaded video, an e-girl outfits lookbook, which had been requested by your followers. Your personal style was all over the place and your previous soft girl and cottage care look books had done well, so you decided to continue the series.

You eyes blurred as you looked at the same point of the video, and you sighed, removing your glasses and rubbing your eyes. Your editor was sick and had let you know that they wouldn't be able to edit it by the deadline so here you were, editing it yourself. You stretched in your chair letting out a yawn. You were contemplating on whether to make coffee or not when your phone pinged.

"Nooooo" you whined when you noticed it was on the coffee table that was just a little out of your reach. Stretching your foot out, you tried to grab it between your toes and then sighed when the phone fell.

"I have zero luck, I swear" you muttered to yourself, bending to pick up the phone.

The text was from Rae, asking you to join a game of Among Us. You and Rae had been friends for a bit now, which all started when she came across your art and decided to order something from you. You had chatted and clicked immediately, immediately becoming fast friends. Ever since the lockdown started, she often asked you to join in on Among us games and your friendship had really grown over these past few months.

You sent a quick "sure!" and then went to your table, waiting for the PC to turn on. Quickly tweeting out that you were streaming, you opened up Youtube and turned on the stream, saying a quick hello and letting them know what you'd be doing.

"Rae just invited me guys, I don't really know who's there," you mumbled, replying to a comment asking you who you were playing with.

You squinted your eyes, joining the voice chat and then opening your phone camera to quickly check that you didn't look horrible. Sure you didn't really care about how you looked but it was always good to check that you didn't have anything stuck between your teeth before you turned on the camera.

There was already a conversation going on, between who you thought was Corpse and Sykkuno, judging by their voices.

"Yeah I could totally do that. Get a cat and name it Bingus. I wonder if th-"

You gasped when you heard what they were talking about and unmuted yourself immediately yelling "PRAISE LORD BINGUS" and effectively shocking everyone in the chat.

A moment of silence and then Rae yelled: "OH MY FUCKING GOD Y/N, YOU SCARED THE CRAP OUT OF ME."

You giggled as everyone groaned and whined, saying hi as they realised who it was. You had played with Sykkuno and the others a few times before but you'd never met Corpse before. You'd heard his voice though, as he was trending on twitter constantly over the past few weeks. Once they all quietened down, you realised Corpse hadn't said anything. Since you knew everyone else in the lobby, you introduced yourself, wondering if you'd scared him a bit too hard.

"Hey Corpse, I'm Y/N from Y/C/N, its so nice to finally meet you," you said gritting your teeth at you awkward introduction. For a second there was no response and then three words were said that made your jaw drop to the floor.

"No fucking way"

He had whispered it, obviously still in shock, and your eyes widened in surprise as a tingle spread all over your body. So this was what everyone meant by "you'll just know," when you asked them about how you would recognize your soulmate.

"Holy shit" you thought frozen in your seat.

Never had you been more glad that you hadn't turned the camera on yet.

"Uhhhh-" you started, but stopped now knowing what to say.

What the fuck were you supposed to do now.

"Wha- Whats wrong?" Rae asked after a moment passed.

Corpse cleared his throat and started "Its um, shes my -" and you cut him off, heart beating in your chest.

"Nothing. Its nothing." you said talking over him. "Who else are we waiting for Rae?" you asked joining the lobby quickly and choosing red as your colour.

"Uh one more person," she said slowly, still a bit confused.

"Oh awesome!" you said fake enthusiasm prevalent in your voice. "So Sykkuno," you started, wanting to keep the conversation going. "How's Bimbus doing?"

Sykkuno launched into a story of Bimbus and you blew out a sigh of relief, mind still numb over the revelation.

Corpse was your soulmate.

The guy who had literally went viral the past few weeks was your soulmate.

You'd finally found him.

You heard Rae cut Sykkuno off, telling everyone she was starting the game and muttered a "Thank god" when the words "CREWMATE" appeared on your screen. You would not have been able to play imposter at the moment, your mind pretty much stuck on the fact that Corpse was your fucking soulmate.

Heading down to admin, you realised you hadn't said anything yet to the stream so you quickly turned on your cam, saying a quick sorry to the viewers.

"Sorry guys, I forgot to put the camera on," you smiled focusing on card swipe.

"I hope everyone's been okay, I know this was quite sudden, but Rae invited me and I was like why not you know," you said rambling as you moved to comms and did the task there.

Lights were called and you moved to electrical, arriving there just as Leslie fixed them. You moved into the back of electrical doing the three tasks you had there when Sykkuno suddenly came in and went straight to standing on top of the vent.

You giggled already knowing his trick.

"Okay guys," you mumbled watching Sykkuno wiggle on the vent. "do we trust Sykkuno or not?"

"You know what," you said making a split second decision. "Its the first game, we might as well."

Joining him on the vent, you stilled for a second and then breathed a sigh of relief when he didn't automatically kill you.

"See, what did I tell you guys huh?" you question smiling straight at the camera. "I knew Sykkuno could be trusted."

You decided to follow Sykkuno going into reactor with him and starting 'Simon says' and just as you were on the last part, a body was found making you let a whine out.

"Guysss," you whined to the camera as Rae started talking about how she had found Daves body in admin.

"Um, I havent been in admin since the start of the game," you said, "also I can clear Sykkuno, for the last part of the round, he's been with me since lights went out."

Sykkuno confirmed it, "Yup that's right, also I can hard clear Y/N cuz guess what? She stood on the vent with me and none of us died."

Everyone chuckled as he said "Thats good enough for me."

"Uh, I was in navigation mostly." said Lily.

"Poki, can I just ask what you were doing?" said Sean, an undercurrent of mirth present.

"Me?" asked Poki speaking for the first time. "What was I doing?"

"You weren't doing any tasks, you were literally just walking from one side of medbay to the other when I peeked in."

Poki started laughing, trying to get her words out at the same time.

"Okay so-" a giggle. "okay okay- I was just, I was trying to um do the beep test," she said finally breaking down and making everyone else laugh as well.

"What the fuck?" you said, laughing at the image in your mind.

"My chat told me to do it last game so I decided to do it now, I was literally just playing around," she said finally, adding "I swear I'm not imposter" at the end.

"Hmmm," you hummed, bringing a hand up to stroke your chin. "Are you sure it was last game Poki... hm...."

Giggling at Poki indignant "YES it was last game", you quickly skipped voting like everyone else as the timer went into the last ten seconds.

Humming a tune under your breath, you went back to reactor, taking a minute to carefully do Simon says and then moved to the other task counting out one two three as you pressed on the numbers. Humming, you moved out of reactor, only to come face to face with Corpse. You paused for a second, and then moved ahead, refusing to show anything on camera. For some reason he followed you as you went to storage, looking at you while you did the trash.

"Why is he just staring?" you mumbled, biting your lip. God, you really didn't wanna think of him right now. You started walking to shields, him still walking with you when lights were called and not a second later a body was reported.

Suddenly there was screaming your ears as Toast and Rae both started accusing each other.

"Wait- Wait WAIT" yelled Poki trying to get them to stop. "What happened?"

"I'll explain" declared Rae, not letting toast get a word in. "We were in navigation okay, me, Toast and Leslie. Lights went out, and suddenly a report buttons there. It's either Toast or someone came in just as lights went out and killed but that doesn't seem likely because I didn't see anyone anywhere near us at all. Anyways I'm fucking telling the truth guys, its Toast, he's the one who did it."

"Toast, do you have anything to say for yourself?" asked Corpse, his voice making your insides shiver.

"Holy shit, this is my soulmate", you thought for the fiftieth time.

"Uh yeah," replied toast. "I didn't do it."

Everyone laughed as he continued.

"Like seriously, I wouldn't do anything like this because it'd be a stupid move from my own part, and I think Raes smart enough to not do this as well. I think someone else came in just as lights went down and killed immediately, which to be honest, was pretty smart of them."

"Okay so I can clear Corpse," you cut in noticing the timer was close. "he was with me in weapons when it happened, he wouldn't have had time to go all the way up, or even vent there because we were literally walking in."

"Yup that's right," confirmed corpse.

"I'm in cafeteria" said Poki.

"Yeah, I saw her on my way to weapons," said Sykkuno, "and I'm in weapons right now,"

"I'm in lower engine" said Sean, and Lily said she was in reactor.

"I think it's Toast," you mumbled and then rose your voice to talk over everyone. "Look okay fine, maybe he said it was a stupid move and he wouldn't do it but maybe he did it for that exact reason. He thought he could get away with it because no one would expect him to do something like that."

As the timer started going down by 10, you voted for Toast and it turned out 3 had skipped the vote while five had voted for him.

damn.

"Guys you actually voted for him?" you said in a high voice, re-enacting one of Sykkunos most said lines.

You heard a "oh for gods sake" from Rae before everyone went silent and you giggled as you moved back down to weapons to do your tasks.

You finished all your tasks and decided to go to security to check where everyone is. Humming as you moved through the electrical hallway, you narrowed your eyes as Corpse came out of electrical and went towards storage. Quickly ducking in you didn't see a body so you headed back out, going into cams and gasping as you saw the body. Reporting immediately you were shocked to see the four kills that had happened. Now only you, Corpse, Sean and Rae were left.

"Oh my god," you mumbled confused. Either there were still two imposters, and Toast wasn't the imposter or the imposter literally killed and did nothing else. Now either that could mean that its definitely Rae if Toast wasn't the imposter, or that it was Corpse as the only imposter left. That was a bit weird though becuase he could have totally killed you at the start of the game. You didn't suspect Sean at all.

"What the fuck?" mumbled Corpse, and Rae made her animal noises expressing her shock.

"Okay," you said taking charge and relaying the kill and your theory to everyone. "So either it was Toast and there's only one other imposter, who is Corpse. Or Toast wasn't an imposter and there's two of them left. I-" you took a deep breath in at the end, very confused. " I don't know anymore,"

"I think its Corpse as well,"

Corpse who hadn't said anything up till this moment suddenly started stammering out "hey-hey uh let-lets not gang up on me okay. It's not-"

"No, wait, its because Y/N said you came out of electrical right, and I saw you in upper engine literally a bit ago and you went down. I went towards cafeteria so I don't know exactly where you went but its totally possible that you killed."

You voted form him after that, convinced it was Corpse, and the other followed quickly.

"Guys what the fuck, at least give me a chance to explain my self" he whined when his body was thrown off the ship seconds later. You cheered when the "VICTORY" sign was displayed across the screen, bringing up your chat and laughing at Toast as he pretended to be angry at me.

"That was a great round, good work Y/N"

"Thankyou" you mumbled staring at your chat. You were confused when you saw the absolute influx of messages on there, and you were barely able to read them because they were going so fast. You scrolled up, and read through the few of the messages;

"You've made corpse sad."

"Corpse has literally been so quite since you came in, can you leave."

"Omg stop with the hate messages, its not her fault if corpse isn't talking to you"

"are you his ex or something? What was that reaction at the start?"

"what did you do? Corpse literally hasn't said a word since you came in."

"Um..."

Corpse POV

Corpses heart stopped for a minute, his breath catching. The words on his wrist glowed gold, and he stared at the little red character standing there.

This person was the reason that he had "PRAISE BINGUS" stretched across his wrist.

They were the only reason that he had searched "Bingus" on google for all of his life. The only reason Corpse knew about the meme before anyone else was because he was constantly monitoring the word online. Ever since March, he had been waiting with bated breath, anxious that he could meet his soulmate at any moment. and here you were.

For some reason, he had never expected that he would meet you in among us, or while he was on stream. He always thought it'd be someone outside. It was a bit stupid in hindsight as all he did nowadays was play among us.

He heard you introduce yourself to him but the only thing that came out of his mouth was “No fucking way”.

Immediately after he wanted to slap himself.

“Idiot” he thought to himself. “At least try to make a good impression.”

When Rae asked what was wrong, heat sprung to his cheeks as he started revealing that they were soulmates, but Y/N cut him off, saying that it was nothing.

Corpse’s heart sank a little then.

'Maybe she’s just a private person,' he reasoned with himself.

'I shouldn’t have tried to say it on stream either. God, I’m a fucking idiot, if I said it, literally everyone would know and not only would I have hated the attention, she probabaly would have as well.'

Convincing himself that she was right, he reassured himself that it wasn’t because of him. She wasn’t revealing it because she probably didn't want all the attention.

For some reason though, his heart sank even more when Y/N didnt talk to him, instead talking to sykkuno about his dog. Like sure he could understand not wanting to reveal they were soulmates but shouldn’t she at least wanna talk to him? At this point he wouldn’t even mind if she talked about his voice like everyone else.

He groaned when the word "Imposter" came across his screen, his and Toasts character standing together. He was not in the right mindset right now to be able to be a good imposter. Breathing in deeply he continued in the game, with the first round passing by quick. The second round, he saw Y/N and stood with her for a bit wondering if he should kill her. Her red character moved to weapons and he sighed moving the mouse over the kill button. Just as he was thinking of clicking a body was found. Corpse swore as Toast flew off the ship. Deciding he needed to speed it up he killed four people in the round, hissing when the meeting was called. The moment Y/N accused him, he knew it was over. He didn't even bother defending himself much, just hoping the game would end soon.

When they were in the lobby, he quickly told everyone that he was going to leave because his internet was acting up. Turning off the stream after saying a quick thank you to everyone, he leaned back in his seat breathing through his nose.

What the fuck was his life.

Even his soulmate didnt want him. Honestly, he should have expected this. Abandoned at 12 with no one around him, why did his expect his soulmate to even give a fuck about him. Tears pricked his eyes and he blinked trying to get rid of them. He breathed in deeply, grabbing the water on the table and taking a big gulp. He had never hated himself more than he did right now. Why couldnt he have an easier life.

“Why cant I just fucking be NORMAL” he yelled throwing the empty bottle of water at the wall.

Throwing himself into bed, he scrunched up his eyes, hoping that sleep would come today, not noticing as his phone lit up with a single message.

Your POV

You stayed for another game and then ducked out apologizing and making an excuse up.

"Sorry it was such a short stream, everyone," you said pouting at the camera. "It was fun though so hopefully I get to do it again." Waving goodbye, you turned off the camera and leaned your head back staring at the ceiling.

What the actual fuck.

Grabbing your phone, you stared at it for a bit. Everything that you had pushed to the back of your mind in the game, was suddenly in the forefront.

The only thing you knew about Corpse was that he had a really deep voice, he narrated horror movies, and he maybe did music?

'Rae mentioned that once right?' you thought to yourself.

You unlocked the phone and then locked it again, too scared to actually do anything.

Unlocked.

Locked.

Unlocked.

Locked.

"Oh get a grip," you muttered to yourself, opening the phone and sending a text to Rae.

‘Hey Rae, do you have corpses number? Do you mind sending it to me, I need to tell him something.’

A reply came in a minute,

‘umm, why. he's pretty private so idk i don't rlly wanna give his number if he doesn't want someone to have it’

You sighed, and decided you might as well tell her. You knew Rae wouldn't betray your trust.

‘He's my soulmate’

Immediately a ‘AHDJHAKJKAGDAK’ came as a reply and you giggled at the string of emojis after it.

‘Don't tell anyone,’ you sent quickly, trying to calm her down.

‘Okay okay, its XXX - XXX - XXXX, ASHAGDH IM DYING OMG. GO TALK TO HIM.’

Biting your lip you added Corpse into your contacts hesitating before putting a small black heart next to his name.

"Already simping," you mumbled under your breath, hands hovering over the keyboard as you struggled to think of what to write.

You finally decided on 'Hey, its Y/N, can I call?' thinking that something short would be the best way to go. Hand hovering over the send button, you sucked in a breath and pressed it, waiting with bated breath.

A minute passed.

And then five.

And then, without you even you realising, it'd been half an hour of you just looking at your phone.

An hour later, you were slumped on your desk, eyes closed and snoring lightly, the phone still open, the message you sent lighting up the screen.

tbc.

[spiderling-space]

Hey so this thought has been on my mind for like ages and I think that you'd be able to write a headcanon about it in a wonderful way, so I'm presenting this idea to you hehe ( I love ur blog so so so much btw!)

So let's say that whatever miracles of seven happened, that Yuu overblots. Being constantly pushed around by other students by being magicless, solving the idiot trio's problems, trying to survive overblots and dealing with Crowley's neglectful ass cheeks sure is not easy. With all the piled and bottled up negative emotions, Yuu like the previous boys, overblots. Yuu wasn't that hard to defeat cuz you know, they're magicless, but the twst boys did struggle and Yuu's quite the challenge too. So what if, after Yuu's overblot, they had a full on mental breakdown. Not like crying mental breakdown, they're full on SCREAMING, their voice are cracking too, and very painful to hear. They started to unconsciously harm themselves so they have to be tied down to prevent to hurt themselves further. How would the dormleaders react to that?

(Sorry for my English and if I ever break a rule, it's OK if you decide to not do this too. Btw I got this idea when I watch ATLA aka Aang the last airbender, for reference of the breakdown of Yuu just search "Azula's breakdown" that practically how their breakdown looked like :D)

I cant write headcanons because you basically wrote everything. I will just make comments and additions to this. first I mention the background, secondly Azula’s breakdown so non ATLA watchers can understand a little and lastly, MC having breakdown like Azula. For the record, I could write about ATLA for pages since it is something I love since 2005. LOL This became a bit meta xd

You can join the discord server here 😉🤣

Firstly, the back ground:

I was 7 years old when ATLA started airing. I’d be excited to get back home to watch ATLA after school. Azula’s breakdown was awful back then when I first watch it as a kid. And of course, when they aired the episodes again and again. I rewatched again because I remembered the show being dope when I was in 12th grade which was stress relief while studying for university exams, and then I rewatched last year and even founded a Zutara server. Now I’m getting back to the point. In the last two rewatching, I saw Azula in a different light and her breakdown at the end of the show was understandable. I can recommend some ATLA meta that you might like. 

Secondly, Azula’s breakdown: 

Azula lost everything. In the flashbacks, you saw she was getting along with Zuko, laughing and playing tag until Ozai’s influence on her grew while Ursa showed more affection towards Zuko since Ozai basically hated Zuko. These two triggered each other and it grew like snowball effect which came to the point that Ozai-Azula and Ursa-Zuko. She didn’t get love from Ozai, she was just a puppet, someone to empower him more, not his daughter meanwhile to Ursa, she was a monster. Azula was 8 years old  Ursa disappeared. Imagine how this would affect the child. After this, she had estranged brother that she was jealous of because of Ursa’s love, a father who manipulated her, and an uncle who was too in pain to do anything and he was more focused on Zuko. She only had Mai and Ty Lee as “friends” but it was toxic and Azula used fear to control them. After Zuko got banished, Mai and Ty Lee went to their own places, leaving Azula alone with Ozai. Just when Zuko got back, she was being like the last times, cruel teasing, Mai and Ty Lee with her. Later, Zuko went away and probably got lectured by Ozai for her lie. Mai and Ty Lee stood against her. In the end, she had no one. Ozai didn’t want her with him either because he only wants power. Being alone drew her to the edge. In the Royal Hair Washing, the girl sje fired had her face. Her self hatred was palpable. She started to reflect this via Ursa, the mother who thought her as monster and didn’t love her like she did Zuko. I believe she would have had breakdown if she actually killed Zuko. At the end, she couldn’t handle it anymore. Being all alone, not being loved, self hatred and finally failing at something which is something she knows Ozai would never tolerate like he did with Zuko. This 14-year-old wouldn’t be able to handle it anymore and had breakdown.

Now last section, MC having breakdown like Azula’s:

Let’s see the things MC went through:

Stripped away from home

Doesn’t have much memory of it

Is thrusted into a world so foreign to them, where everything is foreign to them. There is no familiar thing that can make them recall home or feel at home

Is forced to study things that they have no prior info where the others have prior info and they are expected to ace the tests. This puts on pressure on regular students, can’t imagine the pressure they would feel since they barely understand the magic.

Is treated like trash by everyone at least once. From the first moment they came to Twisted Wonderland, they were like dirtbag. Dire gave them a house where they could get Hepatitis A to C, tetanus, hypothermia and any other disease. They have lived in that state for months and the house barely got fixed by the end of exams. They got belittled or used by almost all characters at least once. Examples: Vil calling them nobody; Azul trying to take the only thing they have from them, the dorm; Riddle calling them uneducated because not having magical parents; Leona acting like they are a toy in E2; Jamil literally manipulating their choice; sometimes NPC characters talked; Cater making them do his work etc.

They are given more than a person should handle. They are not certificated psychologist, they aren’t superhuman, they don’t have super healing... They are just human but has to fight enemies than can easily kill them if it were not the magic users around them. They are given the task of dealing with the emotional breakdown of the other people.

All of these are building up more and more. Maybe they started to get along with people after the belittlement and being used but every new character does this. At one point, it will be too much and they will think “they are only nice to me because I did a favor to them. If not for that, they wouldn’t be nice to me” which would lead to self doubt. When one starts doubting themselves, everything else starts to go down. Also, new characters treating them that way adds salt to the wound.

MC isn’t a professional psychologist. They can’t handle other people’s issues without taking a toll at themselves. They don’t even catch a break between everything.

Dire is deliberately keeping them away from home as they all do the errands he say. To him, what MC wants doesn’t matter much. The game doesn’t show but if MC has family and friends or pets, you can’t tell me that they wouldn’t miss them once or see, hug them or know their state, alive-dead, healthy-sick etc. 

Lastly not being invincible. The end of Episode 5 shows this well. They couldn’t stand against Grim who isn’t as powerful as the other overblot characters. They are mortal who can get hurt easily.

Now all these build up meanwhile we don’t see an MC centered chapter, how they are etc. It’s all about the others. Maybe there were a few chapters asking if MC is okay after everything but it feels like it is in the second plan. 

Everything that I mentioned can lead to a breakdown like Azula’s. Everything is just too much to handle and they don’t talk with a professional about it. When they finally let out everything, it feels much better, screaming out their lungs, lashing out like all of them did. They are finally letting out all of their emotions, crying and screaming; yet still feels better than bottling everything up. They think maybe that’s how overblot characters felt.

All in all, everyone in NRC needs a counselor.

[theres-an-impulstor-among-us]

I give you a lot of angsty requests, so here, have a fluffy one!

Among Us: Through some glitch, a round generates with no impostors. For the first little while everyone is really on edge and trying to accuse each other, but they soon realize that nobody is dying and relax, although they're still very confused. Everybody does their tasks as normal, but instead of completing the last task, they all build a big pillow fort under the admin table and just take a rest for a little bit, hanging out and laughing over previous games and just being together without the tension of possible death and betrayal over their heads. Many stories are told, many "bodies" of friends knocked over in pillow fights are "reported", and many memories are made, before they finally decide to end the round! 💙

okay so this request was MEGA detailed so i didn’t get to every single part of it but i hope this is just as good lol

also bring on the angst I DARE YOU /lh

…

A weird feeling in his stomach, Etho presses the emergency meeting button, teleporting everybody to the table. Once everyone is assembled, Etho realises something strange.

“Okay, there’s been no deaths,” he says slowly.

“Wh- Seriously?!” Tango gasps. “That round lasted, like, twenty YEARS! Half the tasks have been done!”

Etho frowns. “Nobody’s seen anything suspicious, or…? No venting?”

Everybody shakes their heads.

“Okay… I guess we’ll skip, then. Everyone keep an eye out, though.”

When the meeting comes to an end, Etho trots after Tango as the latter heads towards weapons. “Hey, Tango? Does something seem a little off about this round to you?”

“Yeah. We’re a bunch of idiots who can barely play this game on a good day - except you, of course,” he adds, “but it’s definitely weird that we went that long without a single kill. The imposters must be really slow for some reason.”

Etho considers this. “Maybe. I’m not convinced.”

He leaves Tango’s side and peels off into navigation as Tango keeps going. After finishing his download, he goes back up and does his task in O2, before heading back to cafeteria to finish wires.

After this, he realises there still hasn’t been a body reported so he catches Astro as the latter enters cafeteria. “Hey, Astro. Can you hit the button for me?”

“Oh, sure.”

Astro presses the emergency meeting button, bringing everyone back to the table. Etho’s suspicions are confirmed when he sees that everybody is still alive.

“Okay, I’m sorry to call you back here, but we need to talk,” Etho says. “There’s something wrong with this round and we may have to abandon it.”

“What do you mean?” Skizz asks confusedly. “What’s wrong with it?”

“It’s been over three minutes and there’s been no kills or sabotages. I apologise if I’m not correct, but I just have a feeling that there’s something wrong. If you’re the imposter, please raise your hand now.”

Nobody moves.

“This isn’t a trick,” Etho adds. “I’m sorry if I’m ruining someone’s imposter round, but I’m genuinely a little concerned that the game has gone wrong.”

“I’ll support you on that,” says Tango. “Etho knows about this stuff. If he’s worried about the game glitching out, I’ll take that seriously. I’m not the imposter, but if anyone else is, I’d advocate coming forward just to make sure nothing’s wrong.”

After a moment, a chorus of murmurs comes from the others, all confirming that none of them are the imposter.

“Okay, so it seems the game has glitched and generated a round with no imposters somehow,” Etho says. “No need to panic; if we all finish our tasks and win the round, it should take us back to the lobby like normal.”

“But do we have to do that, though?” asks Impulse. “Tasks are almost done and there’s no imposters, so why don’t we just hang out a bit, without the threat of death?”

“I’m down for that,” says Endless unexpectedly. “I’ve always wanted to build a pillow fort in admin. The table looks perfect for it.”

“You mean out of pillows like these?” Joker holds up a pillow that he seemingly pulled from out of nowhere. “Hey, Skizz?”

Skizz turns. “What’s u-”

Joker whacks him in the face with the pillow.

“GAAAH!” Skizz shrieks, tripping over his own foot. “What the hell?!”

Clutching the pillow by its corner, Joker doubles over with laughter. “Oh my gosh, your FACE!”

“Okay, that’s it. Imposter or no imposter, I’m gonna murder you.”

Skizz snatches the pillow out of Joker’s hand and swings it at him, but Joker dodges and takes off running down the hallway towards storage, giggling like a child. Unable to help a laugh of his own, Skizz pursues him.

“Where did he even get that?” snickers Tango.

“Same place I got mine,” Endless says, holding up an identical white pillow. “Medbay.”

Brody tries to hold in a laugh. “Endless, I’ll give you a high five if you hit Tango with that pillow right now.”

Endless considers this for a moment.

Tango gives him a warning look. “Don’t. Endless, I swear to-.”

He cuts himself off and ducks as Endless swings the pillow at him, but before he can do it again, Endless brings it back round and whacks him in the side of the head, causing him to let out a yelp.

Laughing uncontrollably, Brody holds up his hand for a high five, which Endless gleefully gives him. “I like this,” he says happily. “I feel cool.”

“Endless, you’re starting something you can’t finish,” Tango warns.

“Then you finish it,” says Impulse unexpectedly, appearing out of nowhere to hand Tango a pillow of his own.

A grin slowly spreads over Tango’s face.

Endless blinks. “Oh. I’m in trouble.”

On the other side of the room, Etho glances sharply over as he hears a THWACK sound and finds Tango and Endless whacking each other viciously with pillows. He chuckles to himself and continues looking through the game’s code.

After a while, Brody approaches him. “Hey Etho, we’re gonna go build a pillow fort in admin. You should come join us.”

“Thanks, but I gotta work through this code.”

“You can do that in the lobby later. C’mon, we’ve got a once-in-a-lifetime thing here. This glitch will probably never happen again. Let’s have some fun on this map while we have the chance.”

After a moment, Etho nods and lets Brody take him into admin, where Mrs Tango and Astro are already piling cushions in the middle of the room.

“Is this what we do when we think the game might’ve gone wrong?” Etho chuckles. “Build pillow forts?”

“I mean, we may as well,” Brody responds. “Right? What else can we do?”

“Finish our tasks and end the round.”

“Where’s the fun in that, though?” says Astro from the floor.

As Etho opens his mouth to respond, Joker bursts into the room and dives behind Etho, who spins round to find Skizz skidding to a halt outside admin. “Where is he?!” he snaps, panting heavily. “I’m gonna kill that idiot!”

“What’s going on?” Brody demands. “Who are you talking about?”

“JOKER! He said my mohawk looks like a dead bush!”

Relaxing, Brody rolls his eyes. “Oh no. How terrible. He’s a MONSTER. We’d better throw him out the airlock right now.”

“Sarcasm duly noted,” Skizz huffs. “Where IS Joker, anyway?”

Brody jerks his thumb over his shoulder. “Hiding under the admin table.”

“Brodyyyyy!” comes Joker’s muffled voice.

Skizz walks into the room and takes note of the group of people setting up the pillows and blankets over the top of the admin table. “So what’s going on here? Boy scout sleepover?”

“Yup,” Astro responds with a grin. “Do you have a problem with that?”

After a moment, Skizz shakes his head. “Nope. Can I borrow a cushion to hit Joker in his stupid face?”

“No,” says Astro firmly.

“Can I suffocate him in a blanket?”

“Absolutely not.”

“Can you relax and stop being a stupid schoolteacher for ten seconds?”

“Not if it means letting you try to kill Joker.”

“C’mon, I’m not ACTUALLY gonna kill him,” complains Skizz. “There’s no imposters this round, remember.”

“Mhm.”

Within five minutes, everyone is huddled under the blanket fort over the admin table, using a rusty lantern as a light source. It’s fairly roomy inside the makeshift tent, but the ten people are still sitting fairly close together.

“So now what?” Brody asks after a while. “Are we gonna talk about something?”

“How about we discuss what kind of dead bush Skizz’s hair looks like?” Joker asks innocently.

Skizz responds to this by whacking Joker in the face with a pillow, knocking him over backwards.

“Oh, report the body!” Tango yelps with a grin. “Skizz did it! Skizz did it!”

This causes the whole group to laugh, even Etho. After many rounds of chaos and suspicion, it’s nice to be able to joke around and relax a bit.

“How does it feel, huh?” Skizz smirks. “How does it feel to be hit with a taste of your own PILLOW?”

“Honestly, I deserved that.”

“Yeah you did.”

Joker yanks Skizz down next to him, grinning. “Shut up.”

A short pause follows this.

“This is the only round we’re gonna get like this, isn’t it?” asks Evil.

Etho nods. “Should be. Why?”

“Dunno. It just feels nice to just hang out with you all as a group and be happy. I love you guys so much.”

“I hate you,” Endless murmurs. “I hate you all.”

Immediately, the two people on either side of him grab him in a simultaneous hug. “Well too bad, cuz we love you,” Astro responds with a smile. “Grumpiness and all.”

A low groan comes from Endless, but everyone can see the hint of a smile on his face.

Etho sits back against the wall and gazes around at his friends. Mrs Tango is resting her head on Tango’s shoulder. Astro and Evil are still hugging and teasing Endless. Brody and Impulse are quietly chuckling together about something. Joker and Skizz have fallen asleep with the tops of their heads touching.

Even though Etho isn’t with anyone in particular at this moment, he still feels connected to his friends. He’s alone but he’s not lonely. And that’s a rare thing for him.

This group really is his family.

[xyliane]

wild blue yonder

summary: killua had plenty of better ideas for how to spend his eighteenth birthday. a cake a mile high, a day on the town with alluka, maybe even some peace and quiet for once. instead, he’s doing what all zoldycks do: assassination, murder, the works, all at the ass end of the ocean, all because it will tilt the scales of trade just enough in their favor to make a move. he doesn’t have to worry about a blood curse, no matter what his sister says.

notes: think of this less like a fic and more a...preview? I’ve written about 10,000 words of this off and on over the last year or so, and I would love to write more, but [gestures at the world] [pokes at the smoldering remnants of my dissertation]. yeah. so, as special thanks to @trashsketch and @thehuntyhunties, here’s a first draft of the first bit of cursed prince (which, knowing me, will get a wholesale rewrite of the first section at least cuz lol worldbuilding). T (blood and killua’s mouth), pre-killugon; ft: mito, the zoldycks, ikalgo, and did I mention the blood. 4900 words. (title is not the final title, but swiped hastily from the third track of “the horror and the wild”)

notes pt 2: @trashsketch DREW THIS FOR THIS AU aaaaaaa

---

Alluka’s eyes turn black over dinner three weeks before Killua’s eighteenth birthday, and he has to shove half a bread roll into his mouth to avoid making any noise. If he’s lucky, no one else will notice. If Alluka’s lucky, Nanika won’t say anything, will stare at Killua for a few minutes before slipping back into the recesses of his sister’s mind. If they’re both lucky, they can return to their meals and continue ignoring whatever Mom and Illumi are discussing about the southern trade routes, in tones just barely not argumentative. If Killua’s lucky, he won’t have to kill anyone in the next month.

Of course, the Zoldyck family has never owed its success to luck. They have skill, and intelligence, and a massive fortune. They have a town full of merchants and spies at the base of Kukuroo Mountain, centuries of debts of money and life tying the people to the family. They have, Silva Zoldyck is fond of noting, family. And family is paramount.

Even more than that, though, they have Nanika. They have information, dropped right into their minds. All it costs is a bit of death, the risk of death or curse or worse if they don’t do what she suggests. Just that, and Killua’s little sister.

The family thinks it’s worth the price, so they have to deal with it for now. Killua’s his father’s successor to their mountains of gold and death. He’ll change it. He’s promised Alluka.

“Mom, look,” Milluki says. Killua swallows a curse.

A smile stretches across Kikyo Zoldyck’s face, as full of empty pleasure as the black visor stretched over her eyes. “Well. This is convenient.” She turns to Illumi. “Shall we see what to do about our mercantile issues in the South Sea?”

Illumi frowns. “If you must,” he says, and looks expectantly at Killua. “Kil? Take care of it.”

“Alluka’s not an it. And it’s not my turn.”

Mom sighs melodramatically. “Kil,” she says. 

“Mom,” he says in the exact same tone.

Father, who’s spent most of dinner silent, snorts a chuckle. When Killua turns to him, he gets a firm nod, bright glimmer in his pale blue eyes. “Go on, Kil,” he says, voice rumbling. “Ask after the block in trade. Best do it now, before the thing in your sibling chooses otherwise.”

Killua nods once, and turns to his sister. She is still staring at him—Nanika is still staring, black eyes blank and a strange little smile on her face. 

“Nanika,” he says, voice steady. 

Her smile widens. Killua, she says, her voice an echo between his ears. No one else hears. I love Killua.

I love you too, he thinks back, and hopes that she can hear. “Nanika, how do we open up trade in the South Seas to benefit the Kingdom of Padokea?”

“And the Zoldycks,” Milluki says, a sneer in his voice.

“We are Padokea,” Mom says, and sneers right back. 

Nevertheless, Killua grits his teeth and adds, “And the Zoldyck family.”

Maybe this time will be different. Maybe she’ll give them a corporation, or an abandoned island full of pirates. Pirates would be fun. Or maybe nothing will happen, and Killua will be able to turn eighteen without being halfway across the world burying a sword into someone’s back. He can take Alluka to town, sneak her out the back while the butlers aren’t looking. It’ll only be for a day, and he’ll be with her. 

Nanika opens Alluka’s mouth.

Dammit, is all Killua manages to think, before the vision slams into him.

        red 

    is all he gets at first, and he thinks that maybe this time, he won’t be the center of this vision. Maybe Milluki will get one and have to get off the mountain for the first time all year. Maybe even Illumi will stop hovering, conspicuously leaving profiles of eligible bachelorettes for Mom to coo over and Killua to ignore. But the table turns red and Killua sees

                red ocean

    red hair green (brown) eyes

                red lips

            red stains on pale  skin

red flower in black (white) hair

red scars on dark stars  

                red waters overflowing

                           red death under red sails

        red blood

    red

red red

    red red red red red reD RED

The vision releases him, and Killua barely manages to catch himself before he pitches face-first into the soup. Even after the fact, his senses are swimming in blood, enough that he can practically taste it. One of these days, he’s going to learn how to live with it. The rest of his family does.

“Kil, where are you going?” Illumi asks.

So much for his birthday plans. “Where do you think,” he says. 

“Kil,” Mom says again, and he rolls his eyes.

“The ass end of the ocean, I think,” Killua says, and ignores his mother’s affronted gasp as he starts in on the rest of his dinner. It tastes chalky under the blood. “I’ve got a month to kill the queen of Whale Island.”

“Isn’t that the place with the magic storms and the cursed pirates?” Milluki says.

“You can’t use magic to control storms, idiot,” Kalluto mutters, just loud enough for Killua to hear.

“The cost?” Illumi asks.

Killua shrugs. “Blood curse. Nothing new.”

Nanika always exchanges her information for curses. Illumi and Kalluto have messed up before and come back with numb limbs or empty eyes, consequences for having failed within the time limit. But those curses are simpler things. Killua gets the blood curse, every single time.

He loves his sister, and he’s grown to love Nanika, in her own way. But he doesn’t need the extra pressure.

Father claps a hand on Killua’s shoulder. “Don’t worry, Kil. We will celebrate your birthday when you get home from the ass end of the ocean.”

Mom makes a scandalized noise and Killua smiles, pride radiating out from where Father’s hand rests against his shoulder. It makes him stand taller, almost as tall as Illumi. Never as tall as Silva Zoldyck. No one is that tall.

Behind him, Alluka stirs listlessly, blue eyes foggy. Once Father’s grip lifts from him, Killua reaches over to grab her hand, squeezing in whatever comfort he can. She tries to smile back. No one else notices. “Be careful, Brother,” she mutters. “Blood stains.”

————————————

It takes the better part of three weeks to get to Whale Island. Killua could have taken a cabin in one of the spice merchant’s galleon and been there in half a month. But that would be easy. Zoldycks do their job well, and well doesn’t mean easy. The first ship out of Dentora was only a week, but from there it was a schooner to a sailboat to three days on a blasted fishing dinghy for the last few islands. The sailors had laughed at him when he’d said where he was going. At least the food’s been good, because he’s going to turn eighteen out here in the gods-forgotten nowhere. He’d hate to come home and tell Alluka there had been nothing good out here.

For all that they’re in the middle of nowhere, the Whale Island port is almost impressive. If a place could be valued solely on the number of colors, Whale Island would be the richest port on earth. The ships alone are every shade imaginable, the height of summer trade filling each dock to overflowing. Purple sails from Kakin, greens and yellows from Lukso, the ostentatiously huge gilded galleons out of Yorknew. Even austere blacks and whites from Padokea, sticking out of the rainbow forest like snow-blistered icebergs. It makes him feel like home, almost. He’ll catch one of them off the island as soon as he’s done. Father will make sure they’re fairly compensated for leaving ahead of schedule. And sprinkled throughout are the collection of Whale Island’s mercantile armada, with no set color or design other than a bright circle of orange-gold, open at one end.

The port itself bustles with life, as diverse as the ships in harbor. It lacks the size or height of trade centers on the mainland, or even other islands like Balsa’s landmass-spanning city. But it makes up for it in smells, and shapes, and the honest smiles on merchants’ faces even as they fleece their customers for every extra cent. Out here, there’s no option but the port. They smile at Killua all the same.

Killua’s assassinations usually take a little more finesse—a Zoldyck is a threat, and he’s dyed his hair more than once to vanish into a crowd. But here, Killua’s pale skin and travel-stained dark clothing doesn’t even stick out, so long as he keeps his white hair tucked under a thin hood. No one even looks twice at the sword on his hip or the knives weighing down his boots, not with how everyone else seems to be armed. It’s almost relaxing. He can drift into the forest, kill the queen, and drift back out again, catching a ship out of port before anyone is the wiser. 

Maybe this is a pirate nest, and no one thought to tell Killua…?

“Hey, traveler! You come in recently?”

Killua turns and is blasted in the face with the smell of fried fish. Behind a grill covered in pans and fish, a short round man with reddish skin and beady eyes waggles his thick eyebrows, a shock of black beneath a bald head. As he does, his arms dart back and forth between tasks, juggling fire and vegetables and pots as though he has extra arms. It’s kind of hilarious, and Killua doesn’t restrain a laugh.

The man grins back, obviously pleased. “Yeah, not exactly the easiest, getting all the way out here,” he says. “Sit down, look over the grill, tell me what you want.”

“That’s okay, I don’t—” Killua starts to protest, when another man reaches around the cook and drops an assortment of things off the grill and onto a plate. Well, a young man, not much older than Killua, with thick black hair woven back into a single braid trailing halfway down his back. Freckled brown skin is clearly visible beneath an open green vest woven through with gold thread. It would look almost princely, if it weren’t covered in oil and fish guts, and worn almost to the point of being transparent. 

The young man hands the plate to Killua with a conspiratorial light in his bright brown eyes. “You should eat,” he says, and his voice is tinged with Whale Island’s rich accent—thick vowels, rolling syllables. It’s musical, in a way Killua wouldn’t have expected.

He doesn’t realize he’s staring until the man pushes the plate more insistently at him. Killua shakes his head. He doesn’t want to stay any longer than he has to. He can’t get too close. “I’m not—”

“It’s on the house.”

“It is not!” the chef says, and thwaps the young man across the back of his head with a stack of napkins. “I have a business to run, and the shipping season don’t last all year.”

“Sorry, Ikalgo,” the young man says, an apologetic grin on his face. It doesn’t stop the chef’s rant, loud enough that it attracts the attention of the bread maker next door, who begins to cackle in amusement. The young man does his best to weather the shouting, only occasionally interjecting that he’s been working here for only a few days, that he’ll pay the difference, he promises. But when he catches Killua’s eye, he winks, as though this is all some great game and no one else has caught on yet.

Killua feels his cheeks heat up. Rather than worry about that, he shoves a skewer of fish into his mouth, and then he forgets about the rest because blessed gods that’s good. There’s spice in here he’s never even smelled before, mixed with something sweet that makes it even hotter than it should be.

The chef’s winding down by the time Killua’s finished, his assistant as apologetic as ever. They both notice Killua’s empty plate at the same time. The chef even seems impressed. “This ain’t your first time on the Islands, eh?”

Killua shrugs rather than answer. No wonder Mom is so invested in taking control of this route, if the spices pack this much of a punch. The investors in Padokea are probably salivating at the possibility of owning even a fraction of the trade. “The food’s really good,” he says instead, and the chef lights up.

“Ikalgo’s got the best seafood on Whale Island,” the young man says. “How long are you here for? Palm’s got great pastries, and she’s right next door.”

If the pastries are even close to as good as the fish, Killua might be convinced to stay here forever. But he can’t. This is why Illumi always tells him to never talk to anyone, not more than he needs to. It’s too easy to fall into conversation, to get attached. When his only job is to destroy the lodestone of a city, or a kingdom, or an island, he can’t afford any distractions. Not even cute boys offering him pastries with big brown eyes. 

The assistant seems to sense Killua’s hesitation, and his grin dims a little. But before either of them can say anything else, the chef yanks on his thick black braid and snaps, “You still have another three hours here!”

“But Ikalgo—”

“After last time, you owe me!”

“Even Palm didn’t ask,” the young man whines.

“Palm didn’t lose her entire storefront to a flashflood.”

Killua can’t stick around. He grabs his bag, heavy with travel supplies, and turns to face the edges of the market. The trail leads up and away into the jungle. Theoretically, the queen’s mansion should be somewhere up there. But where…

Well, maybe it can’t hurt to ask one more question.

“Do you know who might know where the queen of Whale Island lives?” he asks, not expecting commoners to know the answer. 

But the chef and his assistant shrug. “Ask anyone,” the young man says. “Anyone knows.”

“Anyone from the Island knows,” Ikalgo clarifies. “Her house is up at the end of the path, bout forty-five minutes into the jungle. Can’t miss it.”

Killua blinks. “Can anyone…go?”

The young man shrugs again. “Sure. If you wait a bit, I can—”

“What part of three hours do you not understand?”

“But he—”

“I’ll be fine,” Killua says, and nods politely. The chef and his assistant wave goodbye, and go back to bickering. Out of the corner of his eye, Killua can see the chef getting back to food prep, even as the young man grabs plates and napkins for other customers. He should feel bad that this is all going to ruin. Not immediately, sure. But without a ruler, most places fall apart. And if it falls apart, even for a little while, it’s long enough for Padokeans to set up shop, to reclaim the trade routes and caches of power that they want.

Maybe Whale Island will do okay in the end. Or maybe not. It’s not Killua’s problem.

Too bad, though. The food was good.

The queen’s house is indeed right up the road. Killua makes it within sight of the low walls outside the complex before ducking into the trees, not willing to risk a frontal assault on his own. As friendly as the Islanders seem to be, especially the assistant, the amount of armed fighters and sailors could be a problem. Once Killua finds a good rock, too heavy for a normal person to lift, he swaps his traveling clothes for proper Zoldyck gear: black trousers, an armored black jacket, silver-grey gloves. His sword is sheathed against his hip, and his boot knives are supplemented by another blade at the small of his back. He stashes all of his earrings but one, a sapphire stud Alluka had given him for his sixteenth birthday. She’d said it was for luck. But Zoldycks don’t have luck.

Killua keeps it anyways. Maybe he’ll be lucky this time.

Killua wants to finish this quick and quiet, on the small chance that the young man from the fish grill gets off work and comes up the path. By the time the chaos sets, he should be on the ship and halfway out to sea. Even the fastest ships won’t be able to catch him.

He climbs up the back wall, peering into what looks like a vegetable garden behind a modest two-story building. Killua recognizes about half of the herbs—most of them are useful as poisons, and a few are normally grown in the middle of a forest. None of them have any business being behind a queen’s home. Then again, the building would barely qualify as a merchant’s house in many kingdoms, well-constructed as it is. It’s the color of the sky and thatched neatly, signs of old storms and hard winter winds in the occasional cracked paint. The back door is a solid dark wood, and the window on the second floor is open to the sky. There’s no sign of any caretakers or guards, not even footsteps. The only sound is a quiet hum of a woman’s voice, wafting gently down from the open window.

It can’t be this easy. But part of Killua doesn’t mind. At least this time, the only person he’ll have to kill is the one he has to. No lying, no backstabbing. 

And he can go home without risking a blood curse, and celebrate his birthday in peace.

He still takes his time sneaking across the garden, boots falling silently as he steps through the shadows of the house. Taking a chance that nothing in this building is locked, he carefully presses open a window on the ground floor and drops into what looks like a large kitchen. A massive slab of wood serves as a table down the center of the room, with a collection of beautifully carved chairs arranged around it. The smell of herbs permeates the whole room, sinking into the wood and floors. 

There’s still no one in sight. 

There’s still only the woman’s humming filling the air with gentle wordless noise.

It’s too easy. It has to be.

Killua draws his sword as he creeps up the stairs, following the sound of the woman’s voice. He’ll know the queen when he sees her—Nanika’s visions have a habit of sticking, permanently, or at least until the job is done. Like how he knows the humming is the queen, even though he’s never heard her voice before today. How when he peers around the corner, he knows that the queen is the woman humming over a pile of papers. Her bright orange hair is swept back from her forehead, a simple braid circling her head where a ring made of silver and onyx rests on Silva Zoldyck’s. 

The humming stops. “You can stop creeping around my house and tell me why you’re here,” the queen says without looking up from her work. “If you want to petition for the Padokean spice merchants to stay another week, you’ll need to take it up with the portmaster.”

Killua doesn’t say anything. His grip on his hilt tightens for a moment, before relaxing. 

The queen flips over the page and starts on the next. “Also, no, I am not interested in selling port space, either. Tell your king he can rent like everyone else.”

Killua takes a final step into the doorway, and lunges, his sword lightning fast.

But the queen whirls, nearly as fast as Killua, and catches his strike on a short wavy blade of her own. Her snarl sparks with furious challenge. “And if you’re here to kill me,” she says, “you’d better try harder than that.”

Killua bounces back, narrowly avoiding the sweep of her knife. The queen is unarmored, but  holds the blade at her side, other arm lifted in well-practiced defense. Rather than wait for Killua to strike again, she darts forward, bare fist blurring in a fury as she tries to strike Killua’s solar plexus. But Killua is faster, and he catches her strike on his forearm, brushing it aside. She snarls even as she stumbles back, leaving herself open for Killua to strike again. This time, when she catches his blade on her knife, she almost doesn’t make it, only barely managing to slide out from beneath Killua’s strike. But her bare foot lashes out, catching him on the knee, and he feels the joint crumple.

She scoffs. “You’re not the first person to try to assassinate me,” she says. “Tell me who sent you, and I’ll send you home.”

Killua responds by punching her in the stomach with his hilted fist. 

To the queen’s credit, she keeps her knife up, enough that she manages to slash him across his forearm. The wavy blade cuts deep and sharp right through his jacket, leaving behind a wide erratic slice. Killua ignores the pain and raises his blade.

She glares up at him furiously, bright brown eyes wide and not scared at all. They look familiar. In fact, they look like—

They look like the young man from the market.

The chef, his assistant, everyone else, is going to lose their queen. 

Don’t get attached, Illumi commands in the back of his head, and Killua shakes the hesitation out of his limbs just in time to block the queen’s jab right at his heart. He catches her wrist with his bare hand, wrenching it out of place until she can’t hold on anymore. The wavy knife goes clattering away across the floorboards, out of sight and out of reach. 

She kicks him in the side again, shit, and Killua throws her to the ground. The back of her head thuds against the wood floor, and she crumples with a pained noise, trying and failing to get back up again.

If Killua moves now, he’ll kill her. 

This time, he won’t miss. 

The queen starts to move, and Killua brings the blade down in a single brutal strike.

Blood always smells the same—metallic and warm, life draining out in flows of red. Killua hadn’t realized he’d closed his eyes when he struck, but he feels the splash of blood across his face, sinking through the open slice on his sleeve and through the skin of his gloves. Messy. Father would be disappointed. It’s better if it’s quick, and clean, and no one fights back, and no one is gasping shakily on the floor—

He opens his eyes.

The queen lies at his feet, still alive. She has a hazy, almost drunken grin on her face, and her arm is still raised from where it connected with Killua’s sword, blood flowing freely from its stump. Her dismembered hand lies just out of reach. And she’s laughing.

“You should have killed me,” she says. A gust of wind blows up from the ocean, curling around her, almost as wild as her eyes. Outside, a massive storm darkens the sky, clouds near-black and crackling with energy. The air tastes of lightning, and thunder, and danger, and sudden fear jolts down Killua’s spine. 

What had Milluki said? Cursed storms and magic pirates?

Killua’s eyes widen. “What—”

“I said,” the queen says, and her voice reverberates in the stormwall. “You should have killed me when you had the chance.”

She lifts her hand and spits a word, and a wind like a hand bellows up the stairs and throws Killua out the window.

He lands heavily in the garden, nostrils filling with herbs, bouncing once and hitting the building’s wall. At least the ground’s soft. But he dropped his sword somewhere between the second story and the dirt, and he does not have time to look for it before the storm hits. It whirls around the sky, a cyclone of pitch-black clouds centered right over the house. If Killua didn’t know any better, he’d say that it was only on the house, dropping almost to the ground as though trapping him in the eye of a storm.

He clamors over the wall, bad knee jolting with pain and a little voice screaming at him to run, just in time for a wall of rain to come crashing down between him and the jungle.

Stepping out of the rain, as though made from stormclouds and landslides, is the young man from the seafood shop. But instead of a stack of plates, he holds a brutally sharp sabre, blade short and thick and slightly curved up from its guard.

He takes in Killua, waterlogged and covered in blood, and his bright brown eyes go wide. “You’re—” he starts, and then his expression narrows with fury. “It would have been easier if you’d tried to kill me in town.”

“Why would I do that?” Killua says. “I’m only here for the queen, not an assistant fish fry.”

The young man grins with all of his teeth, any amusement from earlier washed away by unrestrained anger. “I’m Gon Freecss,” he says. “You tried to kill my mom.”

He’s the prince. In about the stupidest response Killua could have, he tries to rub some of the queen’s blood out of his eyes. But it doesn’t budge. If anything, the rain is making it worse, seeping into his face and clothes in a bright red tattoo, making his skin crawl. 

Blood curse, Nanika had promised. It was always a blood curse.

Shit shit shit gods fucking shit. For all Killua knew, the blood was going to kill him from the inside out. 

“I don’t care about who’s next in line,” he says, and takes half a step towards the storm wall. He had to get out, had to get home, or else— 

“You should care,” the prince of Whale Island says. “Because if you’d killed me first, the storm wouldn’t have come for you.”

Killua barely has time to draw his knives before Freecss is on him.

Maybe it’s the panic worming its way out of Killua’s stomach, or the sharp pain in his knee, or the blood curse scratching at his face. Maybe it’s the resolute fury in Freecss’s eyes. Either way, the prince moves nearly as fast as Killua, hacking at the assassin with brutal short slashes. Killua manages to block all of them, barely, boots slipping in the torrential mud. The prince is good enough to make Killua work if he was in good condition, and between the rain and the blood and the knee, they’re all but equally matched. 

Killua finally blocks a blow and shoves Freecss back, the prince leaving himself open. Killua presses his advantage in height and speed by kneeing the other man in the chest. Freecss coughs out a pained curse, and he tumbles back, mud covering his skin and his long braid. Killua follows, slashing out half-blind with his knives, and he feels his blades connect as the prince bounces away. Another splash of blood, this time on a bare hand. This time, Killua feels it sink in, painting his pale skin the color of rust.

Freecss has a slash on his cheek and shoulder, Killua’s wild strike having gotten him on bare skin. The weight of the blade also caught the prince’s braid, which droops tangled and waterlogged across his brown face, half-covering his eyes. Freecss curses again, something foul, and simply slices his sword through his hair. The rest of his braid lands in the mud with a heavy thump.

The prince wipes a streak of blood off his face, not seeming to care that the wound continues to flow freely. “I’m going to kill you,” he says, voice low as thunder.

Killua has fought soldiers and mercenaries and assassins, from the weakest to the most skilled. He’s been tired, fought for hours in the snow and sleet, wherever Father has asked. He’s fought with half the bones in his hand broken, with his legs immobilized by ice. But then, he’d been ready. He’d known what to expect. He hadn’t been fighting a storm at the same time he was fighting a prince. Freecss presses ceaselessly, forcing Killua back until his foot hits the wall around the queen’s home. The prince’s home. He can’t go any further back.

The prince’s eyes glint in the storm, and he slashes the sabre across Killua’s front. 

And Killua’s leg slips out from under him.

The mud carries him stumbling out of range of the prince’s slash, but also costs him one of his knives. Killua staggers to his feet, trying in vain to rub the blood off his face. All he gets is mud, and rain, and more blood. A callous on his hand must have ripped in the fight.

Oh. And his jacket is cut open across his front. Distantly, he can feel blood dribbling down his chest, starting at the shoulder and cutting towards his side. That should hurt more than it does. Even his leg doesn’t hurt so much anymore, a dull throb beneath the rain.

He’s tired.

Freecss snarls—just like his aunt, a small part of Killua notices—and slices the sabre straight down through the air. 

Static gathers in the air, bright and sharp, and Killua realizes he’s going to die.

“Sorry, Alluka,” he says. The words are lost under the wind and rain.

Then Killua is struck by lightning.

And everything is white.

[patrineptn]

Secret Santa Gift!

This is the first part of my Secret Santa Gift to @fenrae-l! I hope you like it! There may be some errors (cuz’ my keyboard isn’t on good shape lol) but I’ll double-check tomorrow before posting part two!

Also tagging Miss @masquerabe for organizing this wonderful Kagx Secret Santa!

Detroit: Becoming Hers

Part I One would think a workshop in a big company such as Cyberlife would be full of modern tables, glass walls, shining surfaces and the latest generation technology like they show in the movies. Maybe they were like that in the development department; certainly, Kamski's office was designed to be a perfect representation of the company's public image: futuristic and revolutionary. The dream working room for newly graduated engineers - at least for ninety-nine percent of Kagome's former classmates. As for Kagome herself, not so much.

Kagome Higurashi graduated a few years prior - a few years meant over a decade, but she didn’t dwell too much on it as time and age held no significance for her. She wasn’t the top of her class and had no relevant projects to shine. Her grades, however, didn’t reflect her passion for artificial intelligence and androids and this trait wasn’t missed by Kamski. From assistant do project manager, Kagome climbed up her way through Cyberlife until she was assigned to one of their newest products, RK800, the negotiator and law enforcement prototype.

"Hello again, Connor," she greeted as the android entered the room. The security camera followed him. He seemed physically fine, which was an improvement from the last time he came. He resembled a human in almost every aspect. His artificial intelligence simulated so many emotions she often forgot he was a machine, especially in times like these.

"It seemed to suit you," he said as he handed her a small box. Kagome looked away to hide the silly grin on her lips. She had been in charge since #313 248 317 - 01 and he was no less than a charming gentleman. Even after fifty versions, there was always something new, especially now that he was working with Lieutenant Hank Anderson.

"Thank you," she answered with a soft smile and Connor’s face seemed to relax. He laid on the table in front of her. After one last glance, his eyes became distant and cold.

Kagome carefully saved her gift, drinking in a single gulp what was left of her tea and filling the mug with clean water before putting the flower on it. She then typed a few commands on the prompt. The sounds of the engines filled the room. Kagome put on her IPE. It was time to work.

___

"Is he okay?"

Connor couldn’t not recognize Hank’s characteristic voice. He had regained conscience sometime before, but his functions were still coming back as his system checked the status of his biocomponents. The first was the taste, which reminded him of how much thirium he had lost. The last thing he remembered was the deviant at the TV station threatening Hank’s life. Then came the touch, with gentle fingers working on the wounds on his body, soothing the slight sting from the laser.

Green tea and cherry blossoms, a combination he recognized but couldn’t remember who it belonged to, as his brain was still fully concentrated on the task of repairing the previous damage. He was comforted, though, by these smells. Connor wasn’t sure he was supposed to feel that, or if that was the right name for what he was feeling. He was made to interpret feelings, not feel them. Connor saved that information to discuss with Kagome at their next meeting.

“Yeah. Connor should regain conscience at any moment.” Connor would never mistake Kagome’s voice. That explained the scents too. And the gentleness. But why did they let Hank into the workshop?  There were only a handful of people allowed to enter, certainly, the lieutenant wasn’t one of them.

He expected to meet plain white walls, mechanical arms, and grippers, some wires and loads of screens. Instead, as his vision came back, he met wooden walls, flower vases, some paintings, Hank drinking something other than soda or alcohol. What caught his attention, however, was Kagome Higurashi.

Replacing the white lab coat and the usual Cyberlife uniform were a tank top and a pair of shorts. Her black hair was free and wild, the opposite of the tight bun or straight ponytail he was used to. She had been in charge of him since Connor #01, proof that she was one of the most talented and trusted engineer working under CyberLife - and his favorite, he admitted.

More than a handful of times he caught himself thinking about Kagome.

“Welcome back, Connor,” said Kagome, her blue eyes warm and welcoming. "Don't you dare to scare me like that again." She released a sigh as she put down the laser and took off the protection glasses. “I almost had a stroke when Hank knocked on my door dragging your limp body.”

Connor turned to Anderson, who was frowning at the source of the scent. “Lieutenant? How did we get here?”

“How? You spammed my phone with this address. I've felt like the time I've accidentally clicked on a weird ad."

The memories came back. The TV station. The deviant android. Throwing himself to save Hank from possible death. He thought the sacrifice would be worth as long as he could save his friend’s life at the same time he was scared for his own life.

He lifted his gaze to meet Kagome's relieved look. “Thanks for bringing him here, Hank. Cyberlife has this thing to just replace cyborgs over the smallest things, you know? I would hate getting to work tomorrow and having to set up a ‘new Connor’. Cyberlife has never been the same since Elijah retired.”

“Elijah?”

“Elijah Kamski, Cyberlife’s founder,” answered Connor. “The mind behind the android technology.”

“Is he alive?” Kagome and Connor nodded. “Good. I guess we are paying him a visit tomorrow.” Hank stood up. Connor followed his lead. “We’ve already taken too much of your time, Kagome. We should be going.”

“It’s not a problem at all! I hope we can meet again under better circumstances.”

“I’d love to. Come one, Connor. I can’t leave Sumo alone for much longer,” said Hank, already heading to the door.

That little dialogue bothered him. For the first time since they met, he felt hostility towards Hank. Conflicted thoughts, alien feelings invaded his core. He needed to sort that soon and there was only one person he trusted enough to open up about the matter.

“Actually, Hank, I’d like to speak more with Kagome.”

Part II will be up tomorrow! (Fev. 16, 2020)

[comicteaparty]

April 3rd-April 9th, 2019 Reader Favorites Archive

The archive for the Reader Favorites chat that occurred from April 3rd, 2019 to April 9th, 2019.  The chat focused on the following question:

What webcomic inspired you to get into webcomics?  Please tell us about your journey. 

lonelytuatara

there were several for me but I think Sakana was one of the biggest inspirations for me! http://www.sakana-comic.com/ since Mad talks a lot about her process with the comic it really helped make it feel less like some kinda magic that I didn’t know how to do and more like something I could try myself

RebelVampire

honestly i find this to be a difficult question. im old enough to remember when internet wasnt a thing. so when it became a thing, there were basically always webcomics. and it was just kind of like...a normal thing to be read on the internet just as much as anything else. i never saw it as a lesser medium as some ppl have experienced. it was just always there along with the internet so it always felt natural to me to read them if they seemed interesting. that being said, if i had to pick the first webcomic that ever made me stick around for a long time, it was Bleedman's Powerpuff Girls D fancomic. Besides the fact it was super popular at the time, i just thought it was really different. like the art popped a lot more than other comics at the time (that i knew of at least), the story was way less comedy more actually serious material, and just in general i enjoyed the story telling. https://www.snafu-comics.com/swmseries/powerpuffgirls/

Iris

homestuck was the biggest one for me, but others like Witchy, Lady of the Shard, and Tuppence for Stardust are also big inspirations

€heshire777

I kind of networked out from online newspaper comics into actual webcomics and beyond, it's kind of hard to tell but I think Skin Horse (http://skin-horse.com/) was pretty much the first webcomic I got into.(edited)

RebelVampire

cause a true hyperlink comes with the http part. http://skin-horse.com/

also please wrap the hyperlink in < and > so the embed is prevented. it keeps the chat cleaner @€heshire777(edited)

yes sorry XD

im multi tasking and didnt notice the wrong tag

€heshire777

S'fine

I know that guy from a different server too

RebelVampire

@Iris please make sure to link the comics next time https://www.homestuck.com/ http://witchycomic.com/ https://gigidigi.itch.io/lady https://tapas.io/series/tuppenceforstardust

Iris

oh crud, sorry. I'm tired and absent-minded this morning

Respheal

I'm a keenspace child apparently, 'cuz my first introductions to webcomics were Saturnalia (https://web.archive.org/web/20070705042710/http://www.spacecoyote.com/comics/sat/) and RPG World (http://rpgworld.keenspace.com/). Both are dead now, although RPG World has a sorta-creator-blessed fan revival (http://rpgworld.the-comic.org/) And then I sorta fell away from them for a bit, mostly, until a friend threw Mokepon (http://mokepon.smackjeeves.com/) and The Property of Hate (http://tpoh.smackjeeves.com/) at me and now I'm back xD

kayotics

I started reading webcomics back in the early 2000’s so I was consuming everything that was available, but I think the first one that actually made me think “I want my art to be like that” was The Meek https://www.meekcomic.com/ Up until that point I read mostly video game comics and they were funny but not inspiring me to make a comic. The Meek was gorgeous and interesting in a way that I hadn’t seen before.

varethane

A friend of mine made a webcomic in the early 2000s and I will not link it because it baaad, but that was my introduction to webcomics-- though when I started reading Terinu ( http://www.terinu.com/ ) and Lackadaisy Cats ( https://www.lackadaisycats.com/ ) was when I started wanting to make one of my own

The Meek and Gunnerkrigg Court were also early influences for me

oh, and hero! I loved this comic back in the day http://invisiblecities.comicgenesis.com/story.html

there were a handful of others that are no longer around, like Vampirates and Goodbye Chains and Astray3, all of which have vanished forever

Delphina

Acid Reflux (http://acidreflux.ficwad.com/) was the first webcomic I really got into back in 2000. The humor was a great blend of anime and light fantasy, which is definitely my happy place. The forum/IRC communities were big for the time too (and of course there was no social media back then outside of what people hosted themselves). When I started my own comic, one of my goals was to have a community like that.

varethane

yeah I totally used to hang out on the terinu forums and shared fanart and stuff XD

(and on my friends' forum which shall not be named)

Delphina

Yeah, standards were different back then XDDD

varethane

ohhhh yeahhh.

Nutty (Court of Roses)

The first webcomic I got into was Looking for Group https://www.lfg.co/. I'm a huge sucker for medieval settings, so my influences revolve around core fantasy, like Legend of Zelda and Lord of the Rings, but I also LOVE for my fantasy to not be taken as seriously with a good sense of humor, like LFG, Discworld, Dungeons and Dragons, and even The Adventure Zone. Seeing them create a graphic novel was sort of a catalyst for me deciding to make my own. I hope I do well for myself to contribute to the unique fantasy/comedy genre!(edited)

Brodnork

I actually started making webcomics before I knew they were a thing

When I was super young I made comic strips inspired by Calvin and Hobbes all the time

And when I got a deviantart account I started posting them

I think Calvin and Hobbes was a huge inspiration for my early work

Although I really started taking comics seriously when I started reading Cucumber Quest

https://cucumber.gigidigi.com/(edited)

Cucumber Quest

gigi

Calvin and Hobbes really inspired me to make comedy comics, and I loved the variety of backgrounds that were drawn in it

Cucumber Quest has lovely colours and a well written story, so I looked at pages from it a lot when I started teaching myself how to make colour palettes

magusferox

Anybody here read Kill Six Billion Demons? Epic stuff imo https://killsixbilliondemons.com/

€heshire777

Now I am

mika

i should make a tumblr page with all my favs

rae

for my old comic I put a bunch of my favs in the links section because I wanted more people to read them. XD

varethane

That's what I did too XD

though it's gotten a little bit out of date and I haven;t made a new one yet for my new comic

ErinPtah (Leif & Thorn | BICP)

I keep my active reading list on ComicRocket these days (https://www.comic-rocket.com/users/SailorPtah/), and when they finish...or stop updating...I move them to the on-site reclist (http://www.bicatperson.com/links/references/finished-comics/).

Some of the oldest ones I remember reading are Venus Envy, Catball & Clown Girl, Boy Meets Boy, 1/0, Alternate Delusions, and girly. (So, also a Keenspace child, lol.) http://www.venusenvycomic.com/index.php http://catball.comicgenesis.com/ http://boymeetsboy.keenspot.com/ http://oneoverzero.comicgenesis.com/ http://altdelusions.comicgen.com/ http://girlyyy.com/

ShaRose49

The first webcomic I ever read was Michelle Phan’s Helios Femina, Just cause I was a fan of her makeup tutorials. I started reading it but stopped and then when I started making my own webcomics last year I got into it again, but the story turned out to be not my thing, but freaking gorgeous art. Then I got into Planet Ace, Shiori, and webtoons like UnOrdinary and Spaceboy, and The Villain. Just sooooo good brings back some great summer memories. http://planet-ace.smackjeeves.com/ https://m.webtoons.com/en/fantasy/helios-femina/list?title_no=638&webtoon-platform-redirect=true https://m.webtoons.com/en/challenge/the-villain/list?title_no=188266&page=1&webtoon-platform-redirect=true https://www.smackjeeves.com/comicprofile.php?id=143025 https://m.webtoons.com/en/fantasy/unordinary/list?title_no=679&page=1&webtoon-platform-redirect=true https://m.webtoons.com/en/drama/space-boy/list?title_no=400&page=1&webtoon-platform-redirect=true(edited)

RebelVampire

@ShaRose49 please wrap the links in < and > to prevent the embed

ShaRose49

Oh sorry!

Do you just stick the link in between <>?

€heshire777

yep

Make sure there's no space though

ShaRose49

Okeydokey!

I’ll definitely do that next time

ShaRose49

Oh can I edit?

I really don’t know discord that well

€heshire777

Hold click/press the message for options(edited)

RebelVampire

i think thats mobile only

on desktop you hit the three dots on the right

€heshire777

ah

ShaRose49

Fixed!

RebelVampire

thank you~!

ShaRose49

No prob thanks for helping me

€heshire777

sure

[elejah-wonderland]

An  Officer and A Gentleman/2

Fanfiction

Part 2

AU TVD/TO story- crossover with SealsTeam/Top Gun, the movie

Elijah Mikaelson x reader/Elena Gilbert

ft Angel and Buffy

Intro: Elijah Mikaelson is a Navy Seals operative, same as Angel S. Booth. They are sent to Top Gun, navy strike fighter tactics instructor program, for a special course called the Hybrid Seals Program (this is fanfiction, so all is invented!). There he will meet the aero-space engineer and instructor Y/N/Elena Gilbert. Having their heart broken due to life’s circumstance and such - they will try to learn to love again.

a/n: thanks so much for reading this most unusual crossover. But, Dg is so dashing in uniform, so I guess I had to write Elijah Mikaelson as an Officer, who is also a gentleman! lol. xoxo

tags

@rissyrapp20 @goddessofthunder112 @elejahforever @captainshurley @hides2000 @cassienoble2000

______________

Later that night, Angel and Elijah found themselves discussing Y/N/E and Buffy.

"When they said Code name Slayer, and your Buffy came in, I really thought wtf, but wow - the tactic and strategic plans she showed were genius." - Elijah said.

"She has a rype of logic I have always admired."- Angel said-"whenever we were given a task and she lead the team, we have always made it first, with no casulties. Sometimes it felt like she would go through plans like a computer or knew all the moves the enemy would do." - Angel explained.

"I know you two have history, but - she looks like an ice-queen. Did you see how she spoke to Lockwood."-Elijah said-"and when you addressed an issue, she kind of looked right through you."

"Yeah, she changed. And - ahm - there are things  I've never told you about her and me."

"Oh?"

Angel now told him about how he went to stop the wedding -

Flashback

New York, Years back

"What are you doing here?" - Buffy asked Angel extremely pissed off as he stepped out and said that he had something to say.

"I love you. I made a huge mistake when I let you go. I just had to come and - please - I know how it looks-"

Andrew, Buffy's fiance and a husband to be now punched Angel.

"Fuck" - Elijah said-"I would never think you'd do something like that. You are always so rational."

"When it comes to her I forget -my head- everything"

"What happened? I guess she still married the man!?" - Elijah said.

"Yes. She was three months pregnant. And -"

"What?"

"The baby was still born." - Angel said.

"Oh, damn."

"Please keep this to yourself." - Angel said.

"Of course. Hey, this is serious stuff."

"I heard that the marriage broke down and she - went to teach on West Point. Later got into Pentagon."- Angel said.

"Is she kind of the reason why you split with Brennan?" - Elijah now asked.

"No. Brennan wanted me back in FBI, start a family, but I just -"

"You run from it." - Elijah concluded.

"I can't settle. I tried and - just can't."- Angel admitted.

"You two never really had closure, did you?"

Angel sighed-

"Well, I didn't. And seeing her today, it felt like a boomerang hit me. I don't know if I can survive another class- but- hey, talking about surviving classes- you changed colours when  Sunny aka Y/N/E came in."

"Don't even start. Damn! Her of all women out there had to be an instructor.”- Elijah now smiled chucking -”I asked her to have coffee with me" - 

"You didn't?"

"I did. She wants to know about the Mig!" - Elijah raised his eyebrow.

"You told her about that?"

"It came out. But she has read the report already. She has got access to classified files." - Elijah replied.

"You used the Mig to go out with her. What are you doing? She is our instructor. You could get kicked out. And not to mention you are on a huge rebound." -Angel reminded his friend.

"Who says I am going to marry her. And I am very well aware that she is our instructor. So damn beautiful and brainy, though."-Elijah said with a smirk on his face.       

"You are playing with fire and I really hope you won’t get burnt.”

"I crushed and burnt already- twice. Who says we can't have fun?! No emotions. Just fun!"

"Well, it's good she is off limits in a way, cuz you are talking like a jerk." - Angel said.

"Maybe. She didn't brush me off."- Elijah said taking a swag of beer.

"I have a feeling she will."- Angel said.

"Let's wait and see."

🚫

In her aparment, Y/N/E thought about Elijah as well. It's been a long time she had taken notice of a guy and flirted with one. She agreed to have coffee with him. What was she thinking? Just cancel it, Y/N/E. There is nothing to it. It's just a harmless cup of coffee and you will get info on the Mig first hand. That's all. What else is there?

But, thinking of him and that smouldering look he gave her as he left make her feel all fuzzy inside.Y/N/E shook her head and now putting the take away on her plate she put some music on. Then pouring herself a glass of wine she went to the balcony to eat.

There she was. Eating alone. And it has been like this for years now. She would get her take away out. Get a glass of wine. Listen to some music. Work on the design. Maybe watch a movie. Go to bed. Get up. Go to work.

Flashback A year ago

"Hey" - Y/N/E said as she picked up her phone.

"Hey" - Caroline said-"I am coming over in a couple of days. Long weekend to be exact. And we are having fun."

"What?"

"I spoke to Damon and he said you are - you! You just work and work and work."

Y/N/E sighed-"Care, I really can't this weekend. I have to prepare for a conference and then I have to mark the finals when I get back, plus I am working on the new design for a fighter jet."

"Ok. I know Ms Smarty pants - next weekend then? They do give you time off. Well, it's actually you who loads herself with work and more work."- Caroline was not letting her friend off the hook so easily and Y/N/E knew that she wouldn't so she looked at the diary now and told the blonde-

"I - have some time off -last weekend in June."

"Good. I will be there and don't you dare find an excuse or cancel. Ok. Bye. Talk later." - Caroline said and hung up.

Two weeks later, Caroline was there, in Annapolis. And she had a full program of girly fun. They went for lunch and a guy flirted a bit with Y/N/E, making her get dismissive was tense. Later that evening, Caroline had to address the issue of Y/N/E completely burying herself into work, and the way she reacted to the man.

"Y/N/E, I know it hurt like hell when Stefan died, but, you are allowed to live - a little. More than a little.

" I can't do it, Caroline"-Y/N/E said.

"Stefan would want you to go out there and - have fun. It's been -more than a year."

"I don't care if it's been a year or thousand years - I just - can't. I don't think I ever will."- Y/N/E said annoyed a tad bit.

"Ok. Maybe not right now. But you are only 26. One day you might meet a guy and fall in love. And it's ok - to fall in love again"

"I am not interested. I will never fall in love again. My heart died with him"- Y/N/E now looked away as her eyes filled with tears.

"Hey - I’m sorry- I didn' t mean to be insensitive. Ok. let’s got out - ice cream or something- tell me about this new jet"

Y/N/E now gulped and tried to dismiss the butterflies rumbling inside of her stirred by the very thought of Elijah. She needed a distraction, and called Buffy now. The two instructors met a few days ago as they arrived and clicked on immediately.

"Do you want to go out for a drink?" - Y/N/E said-"My bff Damon is in the movies with his boyfriend. They asked me to go with them, but I don't want to be the third wheel."

"Yeah, ok. Ocean Mystic bar?" -Buffy said.

"Yes. See you in ten."- Y/N/E said.

And soon, the women met up there, greeted by the new bar owner, their friend Lorenzo St. John.

"Enzo- you're back? Caroline said you won't be back till end of the month?"- Y/N/E said as the two friends hugged.

"I came down  earlier cuz I need to finalize the paper work."- the man explained-"I have some news - also bought the Ocean Drive Diner."

"OMG! Seriously?" -Y/N/E said happy to hear the news.

"Yeah, Caroline convinced me that she will make it into a hip place. And we all loved hanging out there."

"You  so had enough of L. A., ha?" - Y/N/E continued.  

"Totally. It feels good to be back, O tell you that."- Enzo said.

"I say so, too."- Y/N/E said.

"Ok, the drinks are on the house, I will leave you two now."

"Oh, I completely forgot. This is Buffy, the new tactic/strategy instructor."- Y/N/E introduced the blonde.

"Nice to meet you."- Enzo said-"I hope you like it here."

"I see that you are a good happy clique. No one made so welcome ever." - Buffy said.

"That's how we roll here" - Enzo said, and with a little see you later went.

Y/N/E and Buffy went on to chat about Y/N/E and her friends and their lives as teenagers and how they remained still so close, even though life had set them apart at one point.

Buffy remembered her friends, but also how their friendship fell apart and they stopped calling one another.

All in all, the evening went to recalling good and sad moments.

Buffy now also shared to Y/N/E her story with Angel.

🚫

In the morning

Y/N/E played with her phone, as she parked in front of the Ocean Drive Diner where she agreed she would meet Elijah. 

     As she was about to call him, she saw him sit inside already waiting for her. 

      She gulped hard. Again the fuzzy, but now even butterfly-like feelings rushed back in right through her.

"Bite the bullet" - Y/N/E said to herself trying to steady herself, checking her make up in the review mirror unconsciously and then put the phone back in her bag and got out of her Porsche.

As she entered, she kind of straightened her shirt and with a very serious and semi-professional demeanour walked to where Elijah was sitting. 

Hearing her say hello to the waitress, Elijah looked up, giving her a little smile. 

"You are early" -  Y/N/E said as she sat down.

"I see you work on military precision." - Elijah said. 

“Always”- she replied and now turned to the waitress telling her what she would have-

"Coffee. Milk. No sugar. And bluberry pancakes."

"Bluberry pancakes?!" - Elijah said-"Me too."

The waitress went and Y/N/E went straight to the point, taking out the sheet of questions from her briefcase. 

"You are very efficient." - Elijah remarked taking the paper looking at the questions.

"I need specifics" - Y/N/E said-"it would be so great if you would be as precise as you can be."

"Right. I - must say that I am amazed at -"

Elena cut in before he could funish kind of knowing what he was getting at-

"How come a girly me is into something so- masculine?"

"I didn't mean to say that - I don't do stereotypes."- Elijah said defensively. One of our best Seals operatives was a woman, who got us out from a right jam."

"I'm sorry - I didn't mean to - cut in like that. But - I do get some of the stereotype comments. Anyway, I seriously will appreciate you doing this."

"Yeah, no problem. Still how come you love planes so much."

"My dad." - Y/N/E said-"He was a NASA pilot.”

 “Gilbert! John Gilbert? He is your dad? The one that - " - Elijah stopped there as he knew about John Gilbert's fatal crash.

"Yes. The one that died on the test flight in 1990. I was one years old."- Y/N/E resumed.

"Oh. Yes- I’m sorry”- Elijah said with a genuinely heartfelt voice.

Elena now lowered her defences and continued-

"Thanks. It’s all - because of him, I wanted to be an astronaut, but I ended up constructing planes, and teaching areo-space dynamics. But talking about great dads, yours is right up there, too."

"Well, I would not say that he is that brilliant. Well, maybe as an NCIS investigator, but lousy as a father."

Y/N/E could see that she inadvertently hit the nerve there. It was good that the pancakes came as she now gushed how much she missed the way they made them there, adding loads of cream, Elijah commented-

"You have -a real sweet tooth."

"The sweetest.This will cost me extra hours in the gym later." - Y/N/E now put a lot of cream on the pancakes.

"Who parties hard needs to work hard" - Elijah said as he tucked in his pancakes, putting the same amount of cream on.

And somehow the conversation swayed to food and the diner. She told him that her friend had bought the place. Not long after Enzo arrived and Y/N/E now introduced Elijah to her friend and the new owner. 

"Well, if you leave the old menu and maybe add something I will sure come here when I can. The military food is good enough, but this is very much like home cooking. Reminds me so much of home."

"And home is?" - Enzo asked.

"New Orleans." - Elijah replied.

"OMG. Love the Big Easy. Caroline, dreams of a Honeymoon there."-Enzo said.

Y/N/E now remembered it and  shot - "She is giving you hints again! It's time you proposed."

"I am."- Enzo now got the little box out now.

"Wow. You bought the ring?!" - Y/N/E said enthusiastically. 

"Yeah, and when she gets here. I will propose on her birthday. That’s the plan."

"Really? This is so great! But you know that she is having a themed disco birthday party. The 70s!"- Y/N/E reminded her friend.

"Yes, of course. I want to do it in front of all our friends cuz you all were going on about it for the last 10 years."

"More than ten years"- Y/N/E said-"You've been together since you were 16."

"And we got together on the 70s dance!" - Enzo remembered the night he finally plucked up courage to tell Caroline how he felt about her.

"Omg, yeah. I forgot. Oh, it's going to be perfect." - Y/N/E gushed. Her eye then caught Elijah sitting quietly sipping his coffee.

"I am sorry- I didn't mean to be rude- we haven't seen each other for a long time and - there is so much happening."

"Hey- no big. I can see. It's totally fine. Anyway, I have a class at 11:00 and need to get changed for it. Today is also our test flight at 14:00, so I will see you at the hanger, Sunny."- Elijah stood up-"I'll get these."

Elijah now turned to Enzo congratulating him on him proposing to his long standing girlfriend and wished him good luck. He then went, getting on his bike, driving away speedily.

Y/N/E felt bad because she lost herself chatting with Enzo. But it was the talk of proposal that cut Elijah and dampened his mood. 🚫

At the baracks, Angel met Elijah as they were about to go to the class asking him about the coffee.

"Good." - Elijah replied without any particular emotion, kind of absent-minded.

"I knew this would turn out bad."- Angel said-"she kicked you to the curb, right?"

"No. She was actually nice. It was really good."

"So,what's with the face then?"

"Nothing. We got to go to the class." - Elijah said and shut down.

Angel just shook his head.

Later, at the hanger, Y/N/E came to Elijah and apologized for leaving him kind of dry at the diner.

"Hey, don't sweat."

"Ok. Ahm, Enzo is having an official opening cuz he is the new owner of Mystic Ocean, too -and - I'd like to buy you a drink - to say sorry."

"Yeah, ok." - Elijah accepted a smile curling up at the end of his mouth.

"Saturday, 20:00, and it's a kareoke night." - Y/N/E said putting a little smile on.

Elijah now smiled back at Y/N/E understanding the hint. Suddenly, his heart perked up and the world had a sunny outlook. 

____

Later that evening Mystic Ocean bar

Damon, Kai, Y/N/E and Enzo sat down together and it nearly felt like a school reunion. Caroline was on facetime.

"Oh, I hate that I can't be there right now. But I am definitely there on Saturday, even though I have to get back to L. A. to wrap up things here. Can't wait to be with you guys. Oh, and prepare yourself for the craziest birthday party ever. It's not every day I turn 30. Ok. Got to go now. Don't have too much fun."

Everyone said in one voice that they won't, which was not true.

In L. A. Caroline now went to the bathroom and took another pregnancy test.

She looked at the stick, which was the fifth she took.

"And - you're pregnant, girl." - she muttered to herself. She smiled a bit. She was happy, but with her and Enzo having bought the new businesses, this was not the ideal time to have a baby. But, this was Caroline. Life and challenges were her speciality. She knew Enzo loved her to bits and they got through thick and thin, starting from zero, and worked hard to get where they were now.

She now sent Y/N/E a message to call her when she came home, writing -

Y/N/E saw the message and read-

"Code red."  That meant there was something serious to discuss.

Kai, Damon and Enzo were now discussing Care's coming birthday party and the 70s theme.

"Don't tell me she is going to make us wear glitter." - Kai said.

"Yes" - Enzo replied-"and if you don't come properly dressed, no free booze."

"Well, I know I will do a Billy Idol" - Damon said.

"She specifically said Disco!" - Enzo remarked-"and isn't Billy Idol 80s?"

"So 80s."- Y/N/E said-"remember Matt dying his hair blonde to be Billy Idol"

And from there on, it was remember this and remember that, which also brought loads of memories of Stefan back. But strangely, Y/N/E could speak about him and not feel her heart clump up as it would have done a year ago.

Later as they were leaving the bar, Damon said this-

"For the first time in a long time we talked about him and it felt - I don't know how to say it - good, but I was not feeling like my heart was going to burst that he was gone, and could not be here with us."

"He is always with us. We should talk about him. Because if we don't it's like he was never here, and - I don't that. He was everything to me."-Y/N/E said.

"Does that mean - ok- I am all for you starting to date someone else-"

"What? I am not dating anybody." - Y/N/E now said.

"It's ok, YN/E. Hey, You don't need my or anybody's permission to start dating again."

"Oh, Enzo told you" - Y/N/E now clicked where this was coming from.

"He just mentioned that you had coffee with one of the pilots. But don't get mad with Enzo now for - telling us."

"I just had coffee with him. And it was work related."- Y/N/E kind of defended herself-"and you guys are like High School revisited." 

Y/N/E went off at Damon, and he knew her so well as she would not be so defensive if there was not something going on.

"Omg. I think you've fallen for the guy. "- Damon said.

"Shut up, Damon."

Y/N/E was clearly not in the mood and Damon let it be.

In the car, Y/N/E, not wanting to think about what Damon voiced out, now called Caroline, who, of course had spoken to Enzo as well, and now brought up the coffee with the Lieutenant.

"I just had Damon on my case. Can I not just have a coffee with a guy?"

"Ah, you had a coffee with a guy! Nothing big?! Right!? You never have coffee with just a guy! This so means something." - Caroline now went on, letting it off.

Y/N/E now said that it was work related and that she could not talk about it, cause it was classified.

"Ok. But can you at least describe him. You know Enzo, he just said, a navy officer and that he owned a Norton Commander bike"

"Enzo is right. He is just a navy guy. I've seen hundreds of them and taught hundreds of them. Nothing special." - Y/N/E replied.

"Ugh! You can be so - ugh sometimes."

"Is that code red - wanting to know about my coffee?"

"Ahm, yeah and no. I - should've called it code blue. Cuz I'm pregnant!" - Caroline now shot out.

"You what? Omg!" - Y/N/E was bummed, but happily bummed - "This is so great."

"Talking about classified stuff. Enzo doesn't know yet. I want to tell him at my birthday. I want to surprise him."

"Right. Ok. Top secret it is."

Y/N/E now thought of Enzo having a surprise of her own prepared. Y/N/E now felt like a double agent.

The women now went gushing over the news.

This was the good news they all needed, as there was plenty of heartache for Caroline, as well having lost her mom to cancer when she graduated from High School. And having to fend through, working at the same diner, she part owned now, putting herself through business school.

⚠️

At the baracks

 Elijah was on the phone, talking to his sister Rebekah.

"I have 4 days off and I am flying down to see you."

"Wow, are you serious? It's a long flight from Australia. I won't be able to see you much. Only in the evening." - Elijah said.

"I don't care. Cuz I will have nothing free till Christmas and God knows where you will be sent next. And I want to hear what the hell happened with Hayley? What was this message that she got married?!" - Rebekah said.

Elijah sighed a little now saying - "Tell you about it when you get here. Though it's not worth it."

They now chatted a little bit about their mom and her new husband.

⚠️

The days that followed where all about work and their duties.

Both Elijah and Y/N/E, as well as Angel and Buffy were keeping it very professional. Whatever was going on inside of them was kept under wraps, and they solely concentrated on work.

For Angel, it was a great exercise to show restraint and keep it together. His heart was even more in love with Buffy than ever before. Elijah, who first claimed that he would not let any of his feeling be stirred again by any woman, was now day in and day out, completely shaken by Y/N/E. How she got under his skin so fast was mind-boggling. Angel still maintained the theory that this was  all about the rebound feelings, but Elijah was not sure. This woman moved him in ways not other had done before. 

Flashback

Angel came up to Elijah as he now said bye to Y/N/E after discussing the flight. He stood gazing at Y/N/E like he was lost in a dream.

“You’re gone.”- Angel said-”but you know now about her fiancé. Stefan Salvatore.”

“I know. Damn! She had one too many heartbreaks.”- Elijah sighed and said-”I wish I could - make it better.”

“You - you have fallen her”

“She is everything - beautiful, smart, funny - and she loves planes - engines - I can talk to her for hours about it and she will not be bored.”

“I know exactly how you feel.”- Angel said.

____

A few days later

 Y/N/E was still at her office working on the design ideas as Elijah knocked at the door.

"Hello" - Y/N/E looked up as he came in.

"How can I help you, Lt. Mikaelson?"

" I have completed the sheet with your questions, M'am. "- Elijah said now handing Y/N/E the paper.

" Ah, thank you."- Y/N/E took it.

"Working late?!"- Elijah remarked.

"Yes."- Y/N/E replied briefly just look at Elijah in a awkward kind of manner. It was like she lost the power of speech for a moment. Her eyes where like - is there something else you wanted? I am busy here.

Elijah got the strange vibe off of her and now nodded a little saying -

"I will see you."

Y/N/E nodded and Elijah left the office.

Y/N/E sat down to continue the work, but she could not concentrate. Slamming back at the chair she rubbed her face with her hands, exhaling deep. What the hell was that? All week she was fine around him. And now - she was like a teenager, from one moment to the next, she lost it. She closed the laptop and gathered all her things, and left the office.

And, then like a curse had set in on her, the Porsche now didn't want to start. She tried over and over, but it was not budging.

Frustrated, she now got out and put the hood up. She knew about plane engines, and all the supersonic stuff, and she soon could diagnose that the battery was flat.

Put the hood down, she nearly jumped seeing Elijah standing there-

"OMG- you scared the Hell out of me."- Y/N/E now said.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to. Just saw you with the hood up. Can I help?"

"No. Battery is dead. I will have to get it towed in the morning. I am going to get a taxi." - Y/N/E said.

"I can take you. If  - that's ok?" - Elijah offered.

"You're fine. I’ll get a taxi." - Y/N/E said feeling now again the fuzziness rise up in her.

"It takes forever for them to get put here. Really it is not a problem."

Y/N/E knew that this was the most sensible idea, and nodded now as a yes.

She now got her laptop and her bag out of the car.

Elijah now gave her his helmet, and he put his pilot one on.

"Ok? "- Elijah said as he got on the bike, and Elena as well.

"Yep."- Y/N/E answered as she now circled her arms around his waist.

A second later they drove off. 

                 Y/N/E tried so hard for her heart not to give her out as she now could not control it anymore. Her temperature was surely rising being so close to him.

❤️I'm so into you, I can barely breathe And all I wanna do is to fall in deep

But close ain't close enough 'til we cross the line So name a game to play, and I'll roll the dice, hey

Having reached the destination, meaning the apartment block where Y/N/E lived, she now thanked the handsome Lieutenant for the ride.

"Any time." - Elijah said.

"Yeah. I - will see you - tomorrow. Good night."

"Good night." - Elijah said back and - they stood there looking at one another like enchanted, her trying desperately to calm her heart that was feeling a thousand butterflies swarm up.

Oh baby, look what you started The temperature's rising in here Is this gonna happen? Been waiting and waiting for you to make a move Before I make a move💖

[unimpressedperson]

Jackpot | pt. 3 [FINAL]

(Found this picture in @youthstuffs , thank you for posting it)

Genre: Fluff and Crack, I guess…

Warnings: None

Pairing: Kim Namjoon x @taesbetch , Kim Namjoon x Reader

Word Counting: 8.5k

Synopsis: Nya spent her whole life in Las Vegas, she would never imagine that local knowledge would ever be useful. However, her vision changed when Kim Seokjin appeared and introduced her to a few friends, film producers, whose needed guidance through Las Vegas underrated places for a movie. She agreed in working for them, and in that moment none of their lives would ever be the same. What happens in Vegas, not always has to be kept in Vegas.

A/N: Heeeeeeeey Nya!! Finally the last chapter! The oneshot has originally 20.958 words, so I decided to split it in three chapters. It’s the final one. The closure of this rhapsody (am I cocky, lol?), yeah. Hope you enjoy reading it as much as I loved writing, ‘cuz it was fun talking about RPDR, movies, Vhope, Jeon Seagull, Namjoon, you, Dragon! Yoongi au spitting fiiire oooh, Star Trek references, etc :) Forgive any grammar mistakes.

- x - x - x - x -

Yoongi knew it. He fucking knew it in the moment Namjoon began contending about some girl willing to guide them through Las Vegas. He saw back in then that something would rotten up during the process. Nothing could ever go soft and swift, every damn time, Kim Namjoon would come up with some drama, or Hoseok and Taehyung would fight, or the pipes from their filming location would BUST IN GEYSERS FROM EVERY WALL AND FLOOR.

He could gain money by showing off his auguring powers. At least from some dumb folk like Namjoon.

They worked together for 10 years. A decade living through ups and downs, but what kept their Cinematography Company moving and succeeding was the timing. Namjoon directs a successful movie, then gets involved with someone, breaks up and directs a shitty movie. It was a cycle in which Yoongi never complained and watched happening time after time. In 10 years, Kim Namjoon proved to be a genius and that he acknowledge the romantic vicious cycle, never defying it by getting involved with someone after almost breaking their business.

In situations of risk like these, Yoongi takes over his Spock role and always gives good advices to Captain Namjoon. It was his Vulcan power, after all. The Enterprise never bankrupted precisely because everytime one of the bosses made a bold move or a bad decision, someone would soothe it with a better idea or stopping before happening.

This time, though, Namjoon was being a stubborn bitch. Yoongi considered the idea of poisoning him and keeping the whole company under his name and charge.

Oh, he really pondered and even searched for undetectable poisons, but their 10 years story spoke louder than the homicidal side of Min Yoongi.

Kim Namjoon and Min Yoongi met whilst working. They were producing the songs from a  soundtrack, after so many nights of writing and playing instruments, sometimes all by themselves, their similarities brought them closer. A beautiful and honest friendship blossomed, nurtured with honest, curses, talent, humor, sarcasm and a lot of partnership.

Eventually, their dreams became way too big and only working for a company wasn't satisfying them. With their savings combined, Namjoon and Yoongi registered a firm called “Enterprise Inc.”. They had the name and ideas, but only when Taehyung and Hoseok appeared that their machine began working.

Independent movies were becoming a trend, so their company grew and more people got hired to different task. Jimin, Jungkook, Emerson, Jade, Taylor, Shmaillah, Zariah and Robin were now part of their big family. They treated each other like relatives.

However, since not everything happened smoothly, Namjoon also had his flaws. Unfortunately, his passion and volatility affected financially their business and finances. Kim Namjoon loved loving, but his kind of love changes fast and finishing a relationship always turned him into a grumpy man.

His longest relationship lasted 1 year and a half, with an author and professor of Creative Writing at London Institute of Art, Barbara. Unfortunately, their break up made Namjoon extra unbearable, to a point where the actors hired would quit and the filming had to be stopped. His mood swings almost led Enterprise to declare bankrupt.

Of course Yoongi dated, actually he's been officially living with Emerson for over five months, but his personal life never affected the professional. Home feuds stayed at home, even because his girlfriend worked as head from the Enterprise's Marketing and Advertising department.

After discussing, they slept for four hours. Yoongi always valued his sleep and would rest whenever (and wherever) possible, but their argue made the atmosphere inside the room unbearable. Namjoon couldn't sleep as well, he knew Min was right, but and if he allowed himself getting closer to Nya, then doubtlessly at some point would end up falling for her. Namjoon was an assumed romantic mushy, but with a volatile heart.

They went to the buffet, dragging a sleepy Jungkook and an awaken Hoseok jogging, dancing, humming and texting his boyfriend, also animated and sending copious audios thrilled with the last night events. Even though it was already noon, people having breakfast could be seen all around.

— I can see a whole bunch of people with last night’s makeup smudged. Walk of shame, guys. - Jungkook murmured after drinking a whole mug of coffee.

— You walked in the hotel with someone else’s skirt, smudged makeup and cummed pants in a brown paper bag. Walk of shame, bro. - Yoongi grinned and stared at Jungkook.

— Last night was nuts, wasn’t it? - The younger one asked, sipping from his second mug. - We started in a bar and end up in a Ball. What the fuck, I love my life.

— Yeah. Crazy night. - Namjoon disassembled himself from the conversation with a sweep of hand.

Jungkook could feel the tension around. Namjoon and Yoongi were clearly pissed at each other, and it was palpable around. The air was borderline toxic with so much electricity. However, Jeon could rightfully guess why. In his time working for Enterprise Inc., that same negative energy surrounded them plenty of times before. Currently, everyone knew their financial situation, since two actors decided to leave the project in order to get away from Namjoon and his bad temper, and one actress who broke contract after being casted to a bigger production.

Min Yoongi and Kim Namjoon were great egos and minds. Working together represented war and success. They bickered, yet found ways to reconcile and respect each other’s differences, at least during toil days of finishing every detail, since both were also meticulous with lighting, angles, planning thoroughly even colours and shades. In fact, Jungkook graduated in cinema, but most of his practical knowledge was obtained by watching his bosses.

For a matter of fact, Jungkook could have chosen to remain in Korea and work with K-Dramas, movies or even MVs. Their cinematography industry was in constant growth, Jeon would never actually be unemployed, mainly with his fame as an idol. Even though his payment wasn’t the highest one, residing in London wasn’t impossible or uncomfortable, he could be classified as a wealthy lad, since the fame acquired during his boygroup years still paid him for image copyright licensing.

Jungkook was so famous in Korea, that every film produced by Enterprise Inc. sold like water on desert. Their film grossing came 6% from Seoul only. His stardom reached such a level that Jeon Seagull was mentioned beside great names like BIGBANG and Super Junior.  

When Jungkook became 25 years old, his biggest fan club in England during a whole month sent 25 roses to the Enterprise Inc. building daily.

Although, even with fame and constant proofs of how influential he still was, Jungkook felt good by being treated like a younger brother. No one gave him a special treatment or rolled out a red carpet whenever he walked around. Once, after having a small party at Yoongi’s place, he vented with his hyungs about fame and all, Min Yoongi stared at him blankly and said placid:

— I couldn’t care less about your idol life and shit. For me, you are Jeon Jungkook and works with film editing, you can even sing whilst doing your job, but it will never earn you a golden star.

It worried him watching his hyungs and main inspirations brawling, probably over Namjoon’s love interest in Nya and how it would affect his work. Also, Jungkook knew about money problems and thought about offering some cash to help and stabilize their finances, however everyone knew Yoongi would rather sell a kidney before accepting any loan.

— NOO!! - Hoseok yelled and punched the table, cell phone still on his other hand and eyes furiously staring at the screen. That unexpected behavior startled everyone.

— What happened? Did someone die? - Namjoon questioned, genuinely worried.

— No! But someone is about to! Taehyung finished watching The Umbrella Academy without me! I'm going to kill my boyfriend! - Hoseok declared and began typing furiously.

- x - x - x - x -

Nya felt an apprehension in the air, like something was off. Namjoon and Yoongi barely looked at each other, definitely not a subtle change from their past behavior. It could be only a hangover, or not. Well, she wasn’t in such position to question them.

Whilst Namjoon and Yoongi were silent, Hoseok and Jungkook were jamming to whatever played on the radio, creating choreographies out of blue and pulling the grumpy men. Maybe in a common day things were like that, very balanced: two neutrons and two protons.

Their last demand was going to thrift shops, and places selling wigs. Their desire was an order, so Nya chose “Opportunity Village Thrift Store” and Honey’s favourite place to buy wigs.

The ride to Opportunity Village seemed to last forever. Namjoon wanted to talk and have fun along with Nya, Hoseok and Jungkook, but Yoongi could consider it flirting and throw a homeric tantrum. Oh, he would die out of embarrassment.

Arriving was a relief. Yoongi stretched his legs and stared at Jeon. Before leaving the hotel, they decided that having Yoongi always sitting on Hoseok’s lap wasn’t fair, so using their best tool of democracy (a.k.a rock, scissor, paper) the last ones would play to decide who would flump and who would be flumped. In conclusion, maintaining a Jungkook steady during a car ride isn’t comfortable.

Opportunity Village Thrift Store looked huge. Garment tracks, clothing rails, huge baskets and hampers with colourful fabrics and shoes. It felt like a paradise and a warzone. Namjoon seriously considered the idea of diving in one of them, only to test how it feels like, but kept a composed behavior.

Nya got in and pulled a huge pink coat from one of the baskets, throwing it in Yoongi’s direction, whose first reflex was to deviate, watching the fabric becoming a puddle on his feet. He picked it up and dressed. Understanding it as an ice-breaker, everyone else decided to have their fun exploring what the store had to offer.

— I’m gonna pop some tags. Only got 20 dollars in my pocket. - Hoseok began singing happily, getting out from the fitting room with a huge ass fur coat covering down his knees, pink glasses and platform shoes.

Jungkook was with his body halfway in one of the baskets, but after listening the fitting room’s door opening, he stood up using a baseball cap, a t-shirt made of black tulle with Xs covering the nipples. Hoseok never behaved discreetly, but seeing him all dressed up and singing Macklemore, it made Jeon cackle and sit on the ground.

— You look like an asian version of Elton John on a budget! - Jungkook managed to utter between guffaws.

Before Jungkook died out of laughter, Namjoon showed up with a brown ushanka covering his lilac hair, white jacket with voluptuous shoulder pads and a brown clutch. Jung was about to pronounce something, when Kim opened a huge and glittery fan that was hidden inside the jacket’s pocket.

— You look like a cheap version of Adam Lambert, Jeon. - Namjoon sounded serious, but a quirk dimpley smile took over his features.

Everyone laughed and looked around for Nya, since Yoongi was anything but undercover with his bright pink coat, sitting on one wooden bench close to the fitting rooms, he typed something on the cellphone, a deadly serious face, not even paying attention to all foolery.

The woman emerged from the third and last fitting room. She was using a dress made of golden sequins, her cleavage in evidence and left leg standing out of a opening. Namjoon, Jungkook and Hoseok shut up and stared at her in awe.

— Can someone please make a joke so I will feel less embarrassed? - She muttered, cheeks getting warmer and redder with their eyes laying on her stunning figure.

— Nya, Big Bird from Sesame Street called. - Yoongi pronounced without looking at her, still typing and unfazed. - He wants his drag queen dress back.

They got back to laugh until tears were streaming down their faces, even Yoongi giggled a little. Everyone went back inside a fitting room, dressing back their own clothes and going out, looking for more funny outfits.

…

Namjoon and Nya would never understand or feel able to explain how, but somewhere between laughing at a pair of ugly ass shoes and grabbing more stuff to try on, they found themselves making out inside one fitting room. Sitting on the ground, her legs straddling him and his hands cupping her ass, their mouths connected and only separated looking for air (or taking turns in kissing necks), lips moving in sync and desperately grinding against each other.

After a few minutes swirling tongues and trading saliva, they stopped gasping for air, foreheads touching and now fingers intertwined, laying on Namjoon’s lap. Nya smiled and gave him a quick peck, without saying a word. They agreed in making out without pronouncing syllables, got there and began smooching, not a single sound needed.

Namjoon moved his hands and posed them on her waist, smiling whilst staring and decorating every feature from Nya’s attractive face. The dimples, oh those dimples, she held his face and began kissing those goddamn cute details. Namjoon moved his face a bit, getting back to peck her lips passionately.

— I don’t want to leave this fitting room ever again. - Namjoon whispered watching Nya hop off his lap and sit beside him, laying her head on his shoulder, a long arm enveloping around hers.

— If we are going to do something else, then we gotta leave. - Nya murmured and caressed his clothed knee, making small heart shapes there.

— I like the way you think. - His free hand lifted her chin leaning a little to kiss there again.

Before they could even think about continuing the make out session, a loud knock on the door was heard, startling them. Namjoon froze on his spot when a deep voice was heard, most specifically Yoongi’s voice.

— Kim Namjoon, why is Nya inside a fucking stall with you? - He sounded pissed off and it scared even the woman.

— W-who told something about Nya being here? - Namjoon questioned, trying to keep his cool.

— Who told me? A blue bird appeared to tell me. - His sarcasm sharp and killer like a knife, as always. - I COULD HEAR SOMEONE WHIMPERING FROM THE FRONT DOOR! AND IT WAS YOUR WHIMPERINGS!

Looking around, Namjoon tried to find another exit other than the door, in vain of course. Nya noticed Yoongi’s frown when he saw they kissing the day before, but would never imagine how against making out with her. By the way, why did Min even cared about it? Well, she didn’t understand, but Kim’s reaction surprised her: Glancing around desperately, fidgeting and anxious.

Did Yoongi carry a gun with him after all?

— Namjoon, you know I wouldn’t care about your romantic life, if you were capable of dicking down someone without falling in love and ruining our business! - Yoongi scolded profusely, words spitted like fire. The small man had flames inside his belly, always keen to burn whoever dared to cross his path and stumble. When their partnership became real and moneymaking, Namjoon’s creativity and intellect lost ground to Yoongi’s audacity, geniality and incredible honesty. Everyone in a meeting could witness how Min grows talking about money, market and tactics on getting attention, the same way Kim shrinks. 148 IQ points, tall and intimidating, but the business head looked like a human Hamtaro.

Indeed, Namjoon felt rickety closer to Yoongi. Who wouldn’t? Although their partnership equally shared in 50% of profit between them, who always controlled their accounts and hired people was Yoongi. Kim Namjoon was creative and smart, but Min Yoongi was ferocious, visionary, not afraid of facing bigger companies and calling attention to their work. Success depends on many more aspects than a well produced movie, knowing how to speak with business man, sell their product and spread their name. The universe knows Enterprise Inc., Mr. Spock always the mind, Captain Kirk their face and voice.

Namjoon wholeheartedly respected Yoongi, which was a mutual feeling.

It’s not like Yoongi was perfect and never made mistakes during their ten years career, running a filming company and producing polemical content.

Seven years ago, Min Yoongi dived from head to toe in a project about korean idols selling girls around the world, promoting prostitution and drug dealing. The movie was a mixture of documentary and fiction. Purposely or not, apparently the villain portrayed resembled a lot a certain manager from some big entertainment company and they were sued. Back in then, drowning in debts, Namjoon sat down and studied similar cases, learning with someone else’s past equivocation, he based their marketing on that judicial situation.

In the same way his sharp tongue and bold behavior made them big, Yoongi also caused a lot of trouble by saying something offensive. Once, Min Yoongi argued with a group of australian entrepreneurs, owners from a huge farm with mines around, a collaboration organised with Seokjin’s help was being discussed. Maybe joking about their political bias wasn’t the best choice of icebreaker, ‘cuz when they found themselves, Mr.Smith was red in anger and punching the table stopping himself from whacking Yoongi’s face.

However, Yoongi was right, Namjoon falls in love way too easily. Perhaps it was loneliness, or his massive levels of empathy. Fearing the loss of his company, Min Yoongi felt the grip and patience held along their trip fly away in the moment Jungkook and Hoseok appeared, but Kim and Nya were nowhere to be seen. Whimperings inside one stall, it was the last straw.

Nya and Namjoon got out the fitting room, red as beets. Yoongi had a hand covering his face, pissed off and trying to control his voice volume, not wanting to cause a stir.

— Why do you care? What happened of so serious? - Nya raised one eyebrow, still confused about Yoongi’s reaction about them making out. He would be sane to complain about public display of affection, but not the whole idea of someone kissing another human being.

— Namjoon is a workaholic, but also has a huge problem with loneliness. -  Yoongi slid the hand down his face and stared at her, dead opaque eyes. - Every single time he gets attached to someone and breaks up, who deals with his tantrums and childish behavior, grumpy face and irascible humour, believe me, wouldn’t be you, it would be me, our hired actors, and of course our ring of friends. He gets unbearable.

— But we are not dating or in love, if anything ever happened, it wouldn’t leave Vegas. You are overreacting. - She was clearly embarrassed with the whole situation, when did she expressed any feeling of passion? Nya flirted with Namjoon and mentioned sex, but never said anything about dating, falling in love, or whatever.

— Yoongi, you are being irrational. I’m not in love, we are just young, horny and getting along. What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. - Namjoon backed up Nya, pissing the hell off of Min, who took a long and deep breathe.

— Exactly! What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas, but you know who else will be staying in Vegas? Us. We’re coming back in a month and if you dick her down now, you will probably want to get another dose after. I want you fully focused on working in ‘Fierce’, not splitting your thoughts between tortuous falling in love and doing your job properly. - The shorter man spat, again fire coming off his mouth.

— I’m focused! I’m having fun, but also analyzing every place we’ve been to!

— Oh, you are focused, right? Focused like a fucking cannon under a drunk man’s watch! - Min Yoongi snapped, if he ever worried about not causing a stir, then it disappeared like Namjoon’s rationality. - Do you know what I was doing whilst everyone tried on clothes? I was trying to resolve some of our location renting problems and checking how the filming for our other projects are going. - He got closer to Kim, poking one of his long fingers against the taller one chest. - By the way, did you make any contact with Enterprise every since we landed in Vegas? Did you check your phone? Did you worry about anything other than inserting your dick in somewhere or someone?

— No, but… - Namjoon suddenly felt small and shrinking more and more.

— That’s what I thought! Your whole focused ass is whipped and willing to lose everything we fought for, all for one night stand with some random one!

— Shut up! - Nya yelled, flustered and vexed, stepping closer to Yoongi. - Don’t you dare referring to me as if I’m not here. Don’t you ever treat me like someone random, trivial. I’m not a random someone, I’m the one guiding you around Las Vegas for free. It may not be something as big as filming a movie, but it’s also helpful. - She poked Yoongi’s chest, he gave one step back, their discussion drawing attention from people looking around, Hoseok and Jungkook showed up. - Your posh ass can be rich, or the owner from a company, but don’t you dare talking about me like a brainless person, someone incapable of fucking with someone without growing fond of that person! Your friend can be sappy and weak minded, but I am not. You don’t know me, Min Yoongi.

— We better leave before anything else is said, right Joon? - Jungkook asked, pulling Yoongi by one arm in the door’s direction.

— Yes, please, I don’t think I can keep on guiding you guys, I would say I’m sorry, but it is not true at all. - Nya seemed gloomy, but also frustrated. They were discussing sexism and pre-concepts in a movie, but Yoongi’s opinion about her seemed far from awaken. Maybe it was more about Namjoon and his past relationships, but why couldn’t Min consider her vision? A relationship necessarily has to have two sides, and both agreeing with their terms. Even if Kim fell in love, nothing would ever happen again if Nya did not fancy it.

Women do have voices and their standpoint should be taken seriously.

Maybe Yoongi wanted to protect both parts from heartbreak or unhealthy obsession, but what a problematic way of showing his worries. Why couldn’t he just ask for Nya’s opinion? It’s not fair or right.

Nya watched them leaving, Yoongi frowning and Namjoon in shock, both being dragged down by Hoseok and Jungkook. Everyone inside the thrift shop staring at them, dividing their glances between Nya and the group.

- x - x - x - x -

Whilst packing their bags again, Yoongi checked his pocket list of goals for the travel. He concluded that everything needed was basically sorted, places chosen and their owners actually liked them, which would make it easier to bargain better renting prices. Their casting situation and debt with Nya could be solved within days and a few phone calls, since while Namjoon was flirting, Jungkook and Hoseok were doing some bullshitery, Min gave his cellphone number to a no number of people.

Staring at Namjoon and his gloomy eyes felt heartbreaking, but Yoongi knew that it was the right thing to be done. Kim needed to keep his head on the game. They only had one chance, and oh boy, Min Yoongi would hold it with claws and teeth.

Nya was a bewildering creature and, after filming everything, Yoongi would totally invite her to their premiere, however in order to actually having a Premiere, they first had to rent places, cast people, transport their shit, direct, film, edit, and first of all, not declare bankruptcy. Namjoon should’ve know better, acting like a horny teenager would be the death of them.

The lilac-haired man wished things could be different, but Yoongi was correct and sane: Kim Namjoon would never know how to balance a relationship with work, at least not without slipping at some point and getting hurt.

Namjoon was aware of his workaholic condition. All of his relationships got to dramatic endings after spending hours in a row inside his office, studio or even at home, but with a notebook almost morphing into his lap. Every single one of his past girlfriends were very understanding, and accepted that working represented over 80% of his life, routine and thoughts, but being pushed into the background felt tiring. Namjoon hurted himself so many times with that and promised to change, which never happened.

Let’s face it, his fate had nothing to do with a successful love life.

Truth be told, but never convinced. Namjoon thanked mentally Yoongi, he saved Nya from a very frustrating life beside him.

Hoseok and Jungkook didn’t dare to say a word from hotel to airport. No one felt the need. Silence seemed adequate and anything else would only trigger into bickerings. There was no energy or disposition to raise voices and argue.

Silence and rain, those words defined their travel back to England.

- x - x - x - x -

— Zariah finished the filming of “Beast”. She sent the files to Jimin and Jungkook, but I think they will need my help, since Jeon is stuck with all those sequential cuts Yoongi made during “Je M’appelle Carinè”, and Park is simultaneously working on the sound effects for our first animated short-film “Poundcake”, and in… Oh Jimin is recording the soundtrack to “Fierce”? I’m proud of him. - Taylor, a short, chubby young lady, with short brown hair and sparkling eyes, was standing in front of Namjoon’s office table, staring at her iPad and checking every information, whilst he stared blankly outside the window. - Should I keep on working as your secretary? Or can I help Kook and Chim Chim on editing “Beast”?

— What? What did you just say? - Namjoon looked at her, blinking fast and slowly getting back to reality. - Sorry, Tay. I lost myself in my mind again. It’s been happening more often than I would like to assume.

— That’s alright. - She pulled a chair and sat in front of him, placing the iPad on her lap. - What’s bugging you, Joon?

Namjoon gazed again outside, eyes oscillating between shining and getting opaque again. Where should he even begin with? His mind was hopping from thought to thought, concern to concern, and somehow, even filled with preoccupations, Nya always danced between daydreams and awaken nightmares. Despite trying his best to forget and move on, the lady with a contagious smile, beautiful eyes and the smoothest skin ever seen found her way back to divagations.

Enterprise Inc. wasn’t placed in a huge building, actually, they placed had to place a billboard outside to indicate where the firm resided. An ancient building about to be demolished, that’s why Namjoon and Yoongi could bid a whole four floor building for such a bargain. With its structure, the duo fixed some details and reformed every flat, turning into different studios. Every deck had a specific department: first video editing and animation (recently inaugurated by Taehyung and Hoseok after finishing their online animating course), second reserved to audio (both recording and editing, Yoongi built his office there) and characterization accessories, third filming studios, last everything related to managing (marketing, advertisement, Human Resources, Management, and of course, Namjoon’s office). No one would ever imagine how proud Kim and Min were of their achievements, every award and nomination resulted in motivation. They were succeeding, from the bottom and going higher.

Imagining himself waking up and heading to somewhere else, other than the building made of red bricks and black doors, that thought scared the shit out of Namjoon. He would never cooperate or live happily after declaring bankrupt and having to shut down his business, at least not after conquering so many prizes, awards, incredible movies under his name. No, closing doors would never be an option.

— Taylor, I know everyone is aware of how ramshackle is our financial situation. Those projects, “Beast”, “Je M’Appelle Carinè”, “Poundcake” and “Fierce”, are our last string of hope. That’s why we are rushing to finish and release them. - Taylor nodded, in fact, everytime Namjoon and Yoongi argued behind closed doors, rumours around the office were spread. - Specially “Fierce”, we are investing every dime left in that. It’s probably our most expensive and laborious movie, but we count on it to keep us working for a few more months. Two weeks ago me, Yoongi, Hoseok and Jungkook went to Las Vegas and rented places to film, but something happened there.”

“See, our guide, Nya, is the most dazzling creature alive. Not a single soul ever made me feel so impressed in my whole life, yet I can’t get attached to her. Not before finishing the filmings for “Fierce”, it would make me lose focus and possibly fuck everything up. It’s not my intention, but I can’t get her out of my head. Whenever I stop and think, she is there, dancing through my worries and thoughts.”

— Joon, why can’t you talk to her? - Taylor pushed her glasses down the nose bridge and raised one eyebrow. - It seems like by avoiding Nya, you are focusing in nothing else but her. Maybe this time your romantic curse was casted differently. You are not dating her, perhaps the vicious cycle is broken. Also, being unable to think about anything else won’t help you directing.

— I don’t know… - Namjoon pouted and laid his head against the wooden table, leaning the forehead there.

— When the filming to “Fierce” will begin?

— In two weeks. - Namjoon mumbled without raising his head, but now facing his brown walls. - We casted some american actors and actresses, our luggage is being packed, Yoongi made deals with every place to film, rented a house for the crew and us.

— You have two weeks to decide whether you want to invest in something with Nya, or not. It’s up to you. - Taylor made a flourishing movement with one of her hands, whilst standing up and staring again at the iPad. - Now about the “Beast” video editing...

— Go help Jimin and Jungkook. - Namjoon dismissed her and got back to his thoughts.

- x - x - x - x -

— Namjoon, you know I hate to accept when I’m wrong, huh? - Yoongi had an U shaped pillow around his neck, resting peacefully on a comfortable seat, whilst Kim typed on the notebook, adding some reminders on the script to himself. - But I think you should call Nya and ask her out.

— What? Why? - Namjoon turned his head and stared at Yoongi's unfazed face.

— You never had to take notes on scripts in order to work right. You are way a fucking genius, with 148 IQ points, had written masterpieces and composed glorious songs. - Min said without looking at his friend, but placing a hand on his knee. - In the past month you barely talked during reunions, you've been unfocused and divagating, also I spoke to Emerson, and she mentioned a certain talk you had with Taylor. Man, you need Nya and it's insane. You spent less than 24 hours by her side and now living without talking to her seems like a punishment. I don't understand how and why, but if contacting her during our permanence in Vegas will cheer you up, then I'm 100% supporting you. We need our leader, our main director.

Namjoon got back to typing without delivering a single sentence, Min’s hand still on his knee. Suddenly the space between their seats felt tinier, they were way too close and He needed to absorb Yoongi’s new position on Nya’s awe. Indeed, having his approval on looking for her was amazing, but how? During their trip to Las Vegas Min Yoongi said harsh things, leaving right after. Upon weeks of silence, even having Nya’s phone number saved, Namjoon never made effort to apologize, keep in touch or whatever. He respected Yoongi’s opinion, but his spitted phrases and dark tone made both parts highly uncomfortable.

He wanted and decided that looking for Nya was part of his plans whilst filming in Las Vegas, but embarrassment spoke louder and clearer. Namjoon wanted, but had no balls to accomplish it. At least not after remaining mute whilst Yoongi spat mean words at her, he could’ve defended their situation, stand up and put Min on his place. Well, what happened was far from ideal.

All Namjoon could think about, even before hearing Yoongi’s concerned and caring words about his mental state, was Nya, and what were the chances of her accepting to go on a date with him. Namjoon despised the idea of Nya evicting him.

Unlike Yoongi thought, Namjoon wasn’t in love before. It took him an array of nights stalking Nya’s Facebook page, checking her Instagram and reading how passionate her friends seemed to feel. Now, he felt obsessed and slightly uncomfortable with the idea of being dumped.

Nonetheless, Namjoon decided to pull himself together, grow a pair of balls and try. ‘No’ is a possibility, risking won’t harm.

Trying to gather some courage, the lilac haired man opened a new Word file and named “Captain’s Log”, getting in full Star Trek mode, he was Captain Kirk afterall.

“Captain’s log. Stardate -303753.640. We are arriving in the dusty and hot atmosphere of Las Vegas, a city located in the middle of Nevada, a state from United States of America, North America, one of the seven continents from planet Earth. My Vulcan friend, Mr.Yoongi, possessor of a great logical intellect is encouraging me to look for a human partner in our new location, specifically someone already acknowledged by Enterprise as homo sapien sapien, formed by carbon and XX chromosomes, turning it into a fascinating woman named Nya by her genitors. After our last expedition through Las Vegas, the relationship development between Enterprise’s Captain, yours truly, and terrestrial local resident Nya were harmed by Mr.Yoongi’s behavior towards her. Nevertheless, I’m willing to change our perspectives and get another chance.”

- x - x - x - x -

Saturday. A boring afternoon ghosting over Nya’s body, sitting on her couch along with Alexa. They were watching something about wildlife in Taiwan forests on National Geographics, a bowl with caramel popcorn between them and cups of mint tea. The curly-haired woman stared around her living room, noticing how the yellowish painting was peeling and slowly showing stripes of the white paint under it. Basically, her walls looked like an albino zebra. The purple sofa comfortable and everything else seemed pretty fitting, not needing to be replaced or moved. Oh, she was proud about her good taste in decoration.

Boredom hit Alexa like a truck and a deep grunt left her throat, almost scratching its way out. She grabbed the remote control and began zapping through channels, looking for something more interesting than animals mating or bullying each other.

— We should go out. You look like a mushy potato in that set of sweats. Is it yellow because you’ve been copiously using that for the past four weekends, or is it the original colour? - Alexa snorted, trying to combat boredom with jokes. - Honestly Nya, what the fuck happened? You explained something about Korean entrepreneurs, but as far as I know you’re not eager in investing on stock market, so I don’t know why their business would affect you. Did you get involved with one of them?

— No shit, Sherlock. - Nya mumbled and took a sip from her tea, trying to gather some words without sounding grumpy. - I have nothing to do with their business, but see, they hired me to guide them through Las Vegas. I’ve done that once before for one of their friends, the Seokjin guy I told you. Remember?

— Seokjin? The cocky and rich film producer? I remember him, he was funny and immensely confident, literally, I’ve never seen someone so sure about his looks. - Alexa kept her glance on the television. - Big dick energy at its finest.

— Yeah, him. - Nya avoided talking about Namjoon and cia, but now, completely alone with her best friend, it seemed like a good moment to vent. - One of the film producers I accepted to guide, he was funny, interesting, smart and a very good kisser, although, apparently someone deeply confusing. Like, I felt interest on him, but never said shit about being in love, unlikely what Yoongi understood and took as the gospel truth, his friend could cherish me with a thousand roses, but I would never date him and then break up, even because it takes more than 24 hours wandering around sin city and a good fuck for me to enamor someone.

“I don’t know how are the girls they know and usually go out with, but I’m not innocent. We don’t live in a book from Jane Austen. They claim to be so woke and liberal, discussing pre-concepts, sexism and homophobia on their scripts, but behaving and thinking like Mr.Darcy. Did they ever consider a scenario where women have voices and opinions? A scenario where I can easily say no and continue my life? See, I’m not hurt because I’m fancying Namjoon, but because from the moment they introduced themselves and their ideas, they seemed like progressivists, looking for equality, open-minded guys, willing to fight our biased society with their movies. However, Yoongi insinuating that Namjoon and I would ever date or engage in a long-lasting romantic relationship, without even considering my perception on it all, the possibility of the woman only looking for a good fuck. He literally throw a tantrum in a thrift shop about it, calling me some random one. The delusion hurt me.”

— Uh girl, I’m sorry about it. That Yoongi guy really assumed some fucked up things about you. - Alexa turned to stare at her friend, who didn’t spare a look from the television, even though she wasn’t actually watching it, only avoiding eye contact. - But you went through several deceptions along life, why is that different? What happened lately that you remain thinking about them? Or him?

Nya got tired of staring at nothing and met Alexa’s brown eyes, thick and beautiful eyebrows. She took her cell phone and found the long text Namjoon sent a few hours before, throwing it to the friend, keen to understand everything surrounding her grumpy aspect.

“Kim Namjoon [03/31/2019, 8h34min]: Hey Nya.

Sorry taking so long to contact you. I couldn’t find words apologizing my behavior four weeks ago. Unfortunately, there is nothing I can say now. I could’ve defended you, Yoongi acted like a jerk and said some hurtful things, which I don’t agree 100% with. I wasn’t in love back in then, but I understand his side from this story. Yoongi is worried about our finances, which I was the responsible for fucking up. Let me explain it all, expose the situation we unintentionally inserted you in.

A few months ago I broke up with an incredible woman who taught me a lot, but also couldn’t bear my working schedule and how I always set her aside. The career I built along with Yoongi always goes first, it’s my main priority, and I never learned how to balance ‘working Namjoon’ with ‘dating Namjoon’. The result of that break up was a moody me, who brought hell to surface and made two of our casted actors quit, they couldn’t deal with my humour (beside one who quit after receiving a better role somewhere else). It really cost us way too much, since they received for working day and we couldn’t ask their payment back. Also, when the infamous movie was released, the numbers were low and barely covered our bills and paychecks, media and critics criticized it harshly.

However, what happened is a vicious cycle which I’m stuck in. It’s one of the certainties from life: death, the ones most adaptable to change will survive and that I’m fucking up a relationship and then ruining a movie. Yoongi always found a way to contort it and put us back, saving our finances, but this time the loss was gigantic. Our company is solely relying on the success of ‘Fierce’, and a few other projects we will be releasing.

I’m not trying to find excuses for everything Yoongi spat to your face, he was rude and unnecessarily loud, but I’m begging you to consider his side as well. We are not up to losing our company, it’s our deepest fear. Min Yoongi and his stone cold heart is trying his hardest to get our butt off bankruptcy. I guess inside his head, he is willing to drag me away from anything considered as a distraction.

Now, enough of Yoongi and our financial trouble. Let's talk about feelings.

Yeah, I'm a lonely man and tend to get attached pretty easily. However, I wasn't in love with you. Nya, you seemed like someone really interesting and attractive, I'd rather chew my feet off than leave Las Vegas without kissing you. You are smart, independent, proactive, empathetic and friendly. Within hours being guided by you through Vegas, we saw how passionate you are about people you grew surrounded by, how you care deeply about them all and are willing to give up on money in order to help them.

By the way, our deal is still up and we casted your friends (Carol even gained a solo scene where she dances and Sasha got lines). Hopefully they already told you, but if they didn't and you are suspicious of my word, get in touch with everyone you introduced to us.

Continuing…

I wasn't in love with your back in then, but after two weeks thinking about it all and checking your social media (sorry about it :S), I grew fond of you. Everyone seems to love you so much and your heart is so big, couldn't help and now I, Kim Namjoon, am fancying you as well.

I'm not hoping to gain your mercy, but am willing to try and get your sympathy back. Would you go out with me sometime? Not in a romantic way, if you don't feel comfortable.

Again, I'm sorry about how it all began and hope we can fix it.

I'll be staying in Vegas for a while.

Thank you. Bye :) “

— First of all. Did he deadass structured the text like an e-mail? - Alexa looked up from the cellphone in time to see Nya grinning. - You are considering the idea of accepting his invitation? Girl, I ain't gonna tell you what to do, but that Namjoon doesn't seen to be a jerk, he could've just gave up, but he insisted and apologized. Did he actually casted everyone you asked to?

— Yes. Two weeks ago I received a text from Carol and Sasha, they thanked me and all. Tio Diego is also renting his bar for their movie. They also chose Paris as the main filming place, casting Honey too. - Nya felt divided, hoping on Alexa's opinion to define what should be done. - I'm still a bit hurt for what happened, but they proved their integrity by casting and renting everything and everyone I suggested. Namjoon apologized, gave me Yoongi's point of view and invited me to a date, giving me the option of saying no or defining if it's romantic or not.

— Nya, I don't see a plausible reason why you would say no. - Alexa’s hand snaked between them and landed on the other woman thigh. - You are only trying to find excuses because you are stubborn. If you want to, then go, get dicked down and you don't necessarily have to head back to him ever again. Even though he assuredly grew fond of you, it doesn't mean you obligatory have to engage in an actual relationship.

Nya huffed and slapped Alexa’s hand off her thigh. She hated when the girl with wavy black hair was right, and unfortunately Alexa seemed to never be wrong.

- x - x - x - x -

The night sky was clear and the air cool, wind making leaves from trees huff against each other and a chill run through everyone's spine. However, Namjoon felt sweat bidding down his forehead, anxiously shifting from one foot to another and resisting the urge to bite his nails.

The lilac-haired man was standing alone in front of Devito’s, same dining Nya took them the first night. His white t-shirt covered by a thin plaid shirt, jeans and white Converse, outfit plained specifically to seen laidback, since Nya chose the place and said it wasn't a fancy date. She was a ten minutes late and Kim had this crazy thought culminating in his mind, where she probably gave up and would call at any moment to dump him.

With 15 minutes of delay, Nya showed up dressed casually with a black Iron Maiden t-shirt, brown corduroy coat, skinny jeans and Vans. Her curly hair free and adorning the whole picture, no makeup, except for a cherry coloured lipstick. Flawless, Namjoon felt like his legs were made out of jelly and would collapse. His guts contracted in the same moment butterflies attacked his stomach. His mind hazing and suddenly his vocabulary vanished, being resumed by the extensive plethora of words pronounced by someone 2 years old, basically “bluh”.

The first half hour from their date felt weird. No one knew what to say, so small talk almost defeated them, but Namjoon decided to insist. Between eating burgers for dinner and dying out of embarrassment from going out in such situation, Kim decided to thank Nya.

His grateful words somehow touched Nya's heart. He sounded so sincere and whipped by her presence, that keeping the attitude of someone offended seemed pointless. Alexa was right, Namjoon liked Nya.

Goddamnit, Alexa.

Like a chain of gratitude, Nya thanked Namjoon for remaining faithful to his promise of casting her friends. He blushed and sipped on his fizzy cherry drink, grinning slightly, dimples marking their presence and reminding the woman why she thought Kim Namjoon was such a heartthrob beforehand.

Those dimples. Goddamnit, dimples. How can you be mad at someone desperately fluff with such a cute face? Nya wanted to stay loyal to her belief and hard feelings, but Namjoon's polite behavior, lovely face and insistence made it specially complicate.

Goddamnit, Namjoon.

Their body language clearly showed how the unsolved business led to a huge amount of sexual tension, Nya could bear it masterly though. Talking about everything and nothing at all, that's how Namjoon decided to speak his mind. What's the point of sitting and awkwardly pretend there is not an elephant in the room? Well, let's excuse it and set the pachyderm free then.

— Nya, I don't know if you are ever going to forgive me for not standing up for you, or whatever… - Namjoon's hand slipped swiftly closer to Nya's, touching her pinky but not holding it, avoiding more of an intimate contact.

— It's not that you didn't stood up or defended me, see there is so much more. Did you guys ever consider the idea that, I don't know, I could easily not want something serious with you? - She allowed his pinky to snake from her side and lightly take a hold of it. - I'm not mainly mad at you, disappointed with both Yoongi and you, though. For guys claiming to be so open-minded, then why is it so hard to assume I don't want a relationship? That I'm glad having something unofficial and leaving? Fuck, you make it so hard to believe you are an hypocrite.

— I'm not an hypocrite. I do believe in women's sexual freedom and ability to choose partners without necessity of commitment. I'm shitty at not getting attached, it doesn't mean that everyone else is also suckers for love. - His gaze was no longer on her eyes, but staring down to his own lap. - Indeed, we discussed my side, claiming I’d fall for you and ruin our project, but never considered your opinion, the possibility of you wanting nothing related to me. We behaved in such a sexist way, I’m profoundly sorry.

Their order arrived, someone almost spinning on her calves. Burgers and fries, so much cheese melting down the seeded bread. What a vision. If the conversation wasn’t in such an uncomfortable place, Namjoon would probably declare his passion for the juicy and greasy food in front of them.

The chit-chatting kept its slow pace. If National Geographics decided to make a parallel between their behavior and animals socializing, then they were trying to mingle, like Taiwan birds, Nya and Namjoon were singing in order to attract each other, hoping to link and connect. They got along once, why was it so hard to do it again? What wasn’t being said? Who was holding the cat inside the bag?

— I think I’m fancying you. - Namjoon finally took the cat out of the bag, or it could be a mice, ‘cause within seconds the elephant sitting on their conversation got up and left. Gone late, pachyderm.

— What? - Nya lifted an eyebrow. - I don’t know why I’m surprised, you said it in the message. Sorry, keep talking.

— When I closed all deals and rented everything we needed for the filming here in Vegas, my friends and my crew was all like ‘Heck yes, Vegas! Strippers, gambling, money, casinos, yaay!’, and even trying my best, the hardest, to focus on working and directing a masterpiece this script deserves to originate, all I could think about was you. - Namjoon decided it would be appropriate to look at Nya, she seemed unfazed, which made him nervous. - Travelling hours in a flying sardine can to see Nya! No one, except for the boys and Jin knew who you are, and kept on questioning me why so much anxiety and excitement over seeing you. And not even I understood. Working and wondering about what you could be doing really messed with my head. Nya, you messed with my head!

— Ok, Namjoon, it’s a lot of information. - She didn’t spare a look, he felt intimidated, but Nya’s behavior never showed any insecurity. - I don’t fancy you, but it doesn’t mean I cannot grow fond of you at any moment. However, in order to see it happening, you’ve got to insist. If you really want to be with me, then you’ll need to stick along, we’ve got to go out more, in different places. We can totally link up and have great sex today, but it won’t guarantee another row. Got it?

Well, Namjoon felt relieved. Nya was far from being mad at him. Oh, he remained willing to go out, as long as she was there.

In the end, if Nya and Namjoon’s story was something elaborated by Jane Austen, then it would be Sense & Sensibility. Nya and her sense changed how Namjoon dealt with his sensibility, breaking a vicious cycle, where engaging in a romantic relationship without previous thinking ruined all logical thoughts and mature behavior.

The end.

[alitoowell]

One year—365 days—and still I cannot find the words to do justice to the magnitude of gratitude that I feel, and will forever feel, for the magic that was October 22, 2017.  It’s funny because meeting Taylor was always in my mind as a possibility.  In that people DO meet her, so it’s possible.  But I always viewed it as possible, yet unachievable.  People would meet her, but they wouldn’t be ME.  Simply because the odds were too great of being noticed or picked from a crowd.  So I never planned out how it would go, or where, or what I would say, which left me even more absolutely floored when it happened.  Even a year later my brain cannot quite wrap around the fact that the woman who I’ve looked up to since I was 15, who’s music has been the soundtrack to my life for an entire decade, had me over at her house?  I got to hug her?  Dance with her?  And listen to her entire unreleased album and the stories behind it?  That seems unbelievable.  And it will always seem unbelievable because people. don’t. do. that.  But Taylor does.  My friends have been encouraging me for a whole year straight to type everything out, and I never quite got there.  The task seemed too great, I didn’t know where to start, or what words to choose to capture those memories adequately.  In one of those moments of frustration I realized I actually already had written nearly everything—in the no less than 63 messages I sent to my best friend Shaina less than 24 hours later on October 23, 2017.  Though it’s jumbled and not perfect in any way and contains the misspellings and keyboard smashes and all, here’s my Taylor story, a year later, as told the day after it happened—in message form.

~

I MET TAYLOR SWIFT SHDJEKJDKROF

I CANNOT BELIEVE MY LIFE

I HAVEN’T CRIED YET BUT ITS 4 AM AND I THINK ITS FINALLY HITTINGME

photo of wristband

SHE FUCKING DANCED WITH ME DURING LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO LIKE GRABBED MY HAND AND JAMMED WITH ME AS I WAS SHOUTING THE LYRICS GOODBYEEEEEEE

photo of merch

GOODBYEEEEEEEEE

Shaina: You’re lying

IM NOY IM NOT OH MY FOD OH MY FREAKINF GOD

PARKER THOUGHT I WAS DRUNK OF SOMETHING CUZ I WAS SHOUTING VIA TEXT ASKING IF HE WAS UP HOLT SHIT

Shaina: Ok. Spill. I’m shook.

Okay okay so I’m literally about ready to pass out I haven’t slept well since finding out last week and legit got two hours of afterwards last night, well this morning ahhh

And about to board my flight but I’ll try to type quick

So basically her team DMed me last Tuesday saying they’ve noticed what an amazing fan I am and asked for my information

And people have been making fake TN accounts and sending fake messages to be awful, and I thought it was fake because I never expected to ever be contacted

So I’m like in the gym parking lot thank god I didn’t see it while I was still at work

And I realize it has a blue verified check and that it’s legitimate and the last questions was have you ever met Taylor and I LOSE MY SHIT IM IN HYSTERICS IN THE CAR AND CALL MY MOM AND SHE THINKS I GOT IN AN ACCIDENT

So basically I’m a freaking ass mess because I’m 99% it’s for a secret session since at that point one had happened and we all assumed that there would be more cities, and I was almost positive they would NOT send that message to someone and not follow through and call and tell them SOMETHING

So I can’t sleep I leave my phone on cuz I don’t want to miss a call

It of course doesn’t come til the next day while I’m AT WORK

And they freaking ass knew my twitter and tumblr and asked for all my socials and I now know the people I talked to weren’t asked that so that’s weirddddd

Anyway so sure as hell it’s a ‘very special event’ and it’s all too secret and I can’t tell anyone except a parent for safety

And once I confirm I can get myself to LA she gives some instructions and said final details will be emailed  

And so that was Wednesday and I’m crying at work and their dinner was late lol

And I called my mom and was like this weekend Sunday book flights nowwwww

And then the quick version is for the next two days I was practically puking every day so nervous and the email wasn’t coming and I was like shitttttt

So finally on Friday I straight up call Taylor Nation back and get straight through and say my name and she’s like what’s up?! And she says they’re coming out later that day

And so I flew down Saturday and I rented my very first car and took my first legit solo trip in the name of Taylor freaking swift honestly I’m not surprised

And bless Briana’s fam’s heart they were out of town but let me stay in their guest apartment while they were away with no explanation so that was very nice and less stress for me

And then I had to sit from 3:30 Saturday until 5:15 Sunday in LA by myself unable to tell anyone and it was wilddddddd

Like I was like sweeeeeet I can get caught up in my journal!!!  Noooo I deadass sat there and felt like I was dying and about threw up hourly like how the freaking hell do you just casually chill when you know your damn outlandish never thought it would occur dream is about to happen and not only that but like on a times 100 scale?!?!

So basically I went to her damn house and we hung out by the pool and ate food and the weirdest part is I’ve been unable to eat and have been panicking all week but the second I got to the first check point and to her house even more I was just like chillllll like ayeeeee this is gonna be fun omg I’m so hungry and let’s eat all this food

And so basically it’s a listening session for the new album and we obviously can’t say anything about it or what she said about it besides like probs that it’s AWESOME OUTSTANDING IS GONNA SLAY THE WORLD AND SHES SO LROUD OF IT AND MY BABY DID THAT AND IM REAL PROUD

Okay okay but she like explained each song in-depth and was the cutest cupcake singing along fully jamming to everything and like looking at everyone the entire time and locking eyes as she’s singing ya feel

My flight is about to leave but I will continue later!!!!!

Shaina: This is insane I can’t believe it I’m beyond stoked for you safe travels and talk soon

Okay we not leaving quite yet sooooo I’m missing parts. So we are told we’re gonna go inside and sit down and I book it fast to get a spot on the ground like only two people sitting in front of me and there’s a red plush chair not even 10 feet away that she’ll obviously be sitting in and we’re all like sjedjekkdir

And I was wondering who all I would know there right!?? And was bummed there’s one girl I talk to frequently who loves Shawn Mendes and we know each other cuz she saw my Shawn poster on twitter and she’s from LA but I hadn’t seen her

And then someone pokes me and is like ALIIIIIIII AND ITS HER AND WE FLIP AND SXREAM SO LOUD THE WHOLE ROOM THOUGHT IT WAS TAY AND WAS PISSSSSSED AND SHUSHING US AND SOMEONES LIKE THEY KNOW EACH OTHER!!!!! HAHAHAHA

Shaina: This just keeps getting better and better. How did you keep this a secret?!?!?!?

Shaina: How many people were there

AND SO ANYWAY WE ALL THOUGHT TAYLOR WAS GONNA COME IN FROM THE FRONT AND SIT RIGHT DOWN??? AND ON THE BUS SOMEONE WAS LIKE YOOOOO WHAT IF SINCE TONIGHT IT’S IN LA SHE BRINGS FRIENDS????? AND SO SHE OF COURSE INSTEAD COMES FROM THE BACL AND THE DAMN ROOM EXPLODES AND SHE LOOKS LIKE A DAMN GODWESS AND SHE’S LIKE HIIIIIIIII AND GRINNING AND ALSO COMES IN JACK ANTANOF (SPELLING IDK IM CURRENTLY OFFLINE SO I CANT CHECK), TWO OF THE HAIM GIRLS, AND RUBY ROSE AND THE ROOM IS LIKE SHATTERING

AND SO SINCE SHE IN THE BACK SHE STARTS MAKING HER WAY THROUGHHHHHH US AND IS GRABBING PEOPLE AND PEOPLE ARE STANDING UP AND HUGGING HER AND HOLY CRAP

Okay lololol shoot I just woke up and didn’t realize the rest of this story was notttt in constant caps like I’ve been using all day my bad my bad

And so she’s playing the songs in order off the album and I think it’s okay to say that her and jack are losing their minds because they’ve never gotten to experience our reaction to new stuff they’ve worked on when they’re together, and definitely not together and in person, so she kept being like this is so cool for us you have no idea and he’s in the back confirming lololol

And so anyway she gets to Look What You Made me Do and she’s like soooo how do we want to do this??? Do we want to keep sitting do we want to dance…??? And we’re all like DANCEEEEEE SHDHIEOKRKR and shes like okayyyy we’re dancing and Shaina this is deadass like straight out of a dream.  Actually wait no I couldn’t have imagined this, but she starts and I was anticipating part of this but not the whole thing…

So she obviously doesn’t just have us bopping along and staying and dancing on her own up front… she starts making her way into our basically tiny crowd and we’re so packed together that she’s grabbing people’s hands so she doesn’t fall as she goes. And she’s stopping and dancing with people and stops and stays dancing like staring at one guy and he’s going for it and not afraid and singing the lyrics dramatically right back to her….

And then she makes her way towards and wait for it

GRABS MY DAMN HAND AS SHE’S TRYING TO GET FARTHER INTO THE MIDDLE AND I’M LIKE OKAY OKAY JUST CHILL SHE JUST GRABBED MY HAND NO BIGGIE AND IM LIKE SHES GONNA KEEP WALKING LIKE THAT WAS MY MOMENT RIGBT?!?!

NOOOOOOOOOOO SHE STOPS THERE ONCE SHES BY ME AND IS DANCING WITH THE PEOPLE THAT ARE AROUND HER BUT HER BACK IS TO ME AT THIS POINT BUT IM STILL LIKE HOLY SHIT WHAT IS LIFE AND THEN SHE FREAKING ASS TURNS THE HELL AROUND AND IS DANCING! WITH! ME! LIKE! SHES! LOOKING! AT! ME! AND IM LIKE JAMMING OF COURSE AND SCREAMING THE LYRICS AND I LITERALLT DIED AND WENT TO HEAVEN

And then Vanessa (my Shawn buddy) at this point has scooted up to me cuz everyone’s shifted and the people around me are like dude holy shit SHE DANCED WITH YOUUUUU

BYEEEEEEEEEEEE

Okay okay so after the whole album was played she gave us like the lowdown on the meet and greet portion and she passed out the target exclusive magazines for us to see while we waited and talked a bit about the making of them and why and things and she’s really pumped about them and they worked really hard to have them be affordable as possible and cut down the pages and things

And meanwhile like the whole night she’s so close that people would make comments and she’d hear and respond and it was so cute and amazing

Also I don’t think I’ve mentioned her outfit yet???  She’s been looking bomb at all of the other sessions and holy helllll she looked bomb like damnnnnnnnn she had on a black crop top and these high waisted and slightly folded down camouflage pants and these black boots and her hairrrrrrr this era is like natural curls and soooo damn cute

Okay okay so anyway we thought it was a greattttt idea to wait towards the end so we could stay longer and not go first and be done and sent home… yeah well it ended up being a not great idea because we ended up waiting two hours but I’m obviously not complaining one freaking bit

And she’s doing pictures in the other room so we can’t really see much for most of it but every so often we can see people talking to her and taking photos and it’s so cute it’d melt your hearttttttt

And so those of us that have bonded together at this point are like um shoooooot what pose and what the hell do I say to her??????? Like all week to my parents I was like ummmmm soooooo I’ve imagined this happening but like never thought it’d actually happen so unlike some people I had nottttt planned like a monologue of what I’d want her to know if I ever met her???? Like with Vance I was lost too but with my posters it was easier and I’ve seen him recently and yada yada but this is TAYLOR FREAKING SWIFT WHO IVE LOVED WITH MY WHOLE DAMN HEART SINCE I WAS FIFTEEN AND SHIT IM TEARING UP ON THE PLANE WHAT THE HELL DO YOU SAY TO HER WHAT DO YOU WANT HER TO KNOW YOU’VE GOT LIKE TWO MINUTES WITH HER GOOOOO

And so we were all really curious if she’d somehow recognize us because people have been saying that they walk in and she shouted their name! And I’m like idk if that’s gonna happen but might as well see if not just ask if she’s seen anything idk idk???

So okay buckle up for like the greatest time of my entire damn life

So I walk in and hug herrrrrrrrrrrrr

And I wish to god I can remember everything she said but I was focusing so hard on keeping it together and saying my bit that I know for sure what I said and can put together mostly something the general sentiment of what she said if not it exactly. So we’re huggingggg and I say I think hiiiii it’s so nice to finally meet you thank you for having me I’m so excited to be here or something and she’s like awww thank you for coming!! And I’m like I have to know how did we all get picked, was it by you or your team or how did it happen?? And I don’t know what the first part of her answer was but she says so the people from LA have been picked for about a year, and the people from elsewhere (I’m guessing with exceptions) have been picked more recently like within the past few months so like now I know it has nothingggg to do with whatever we’ve been doing online recently…. It’s from at least when she first came back if not before and they realized we were active while she was away….

And so I’m like okay ali say something else so I’m like so I really like making concert posters and the first ones I ever made were for you and shes like aw thank you!! And I’m like I realized other people were making posters and I’d been a RA and I was like hey I can make some really bomb posters tooooo. And so I’m like the fist ones said ‘Taylor someday we’ll meet you even if it’s just in our wildest dreams’ and she grabs me and is like AND NOW WE’RE MAKING IT HAPPEN!!! And so I say after I got the phone call I was in my car listening to Ready For It and started bawling when she sings ‘in my dreams, I know I’m gonna be with you’ cuz I knew it was actually happening and shes like awwwwwww or something you get the idea

And so then I straight up start talking about my dad???

I’m like so my dad loves you and she’s like omg and I’m like no he adoresss youuu and is so sad he couldn’t come and she’s like awww tell him hi!!! And I’m like he loves your Out of the Woods piano Grammy performance and I say how I’d found him listening to it repeatedly and he wanted it on his phone. And she’s like he sounds amazing! And I’m like he is he’s awesome lol and I’m like actually and so him and I went and saw you at F1 last year and of course I’m like and I made signs for there too and so I describe them IN DETAIL like what they said, I realized later I told her I was from Oregon, because I said they were the states and the dotted line and the paper airplane and I think she really liked that??? And as if that all isn’t already insane enough at some point in there I mentioned how this month has been insane and how I’d met Vance Joy and it was my birthday and now this and she said something excitedly about that like ahhh so much excitement or idk something about it. And so she’s like so what pose would you like to do? And I’m like I’ve really been going back and forth between just hugging or doing something sort of funny (low key said that hoping she’d be like girl let’s do both but lololol it’s okay) so she’s like it’s completely up to you!! And I’m like um um okay let’s just hug so she grabs me and we take the freaking photo and ahhhhhhhh

And so Vanessa and I had it planned out and she had me go first and at this point I was like would it be okay if my friend and I got a photo with you together and she’s like of course!! So V comes in and hugs her and we take one photo together and she squeezes us together tight and then I hug her one last time and thank her and say I love you so much (lol I had to throw it in other people forgot it and have been upset) and then I walk out and they hand me my merch bag and are directing me to the bus but I’m like can I wait for my friend and they’re like sure. So she comes out and she’s like SHE KNEW MY NAME SHSJEKOFN and she’s like yelling and I’m like shut up and I grab her and I’m like shhh shhhhh hahahaha and so we walk to the bus and it’s the funniest thing cuz they’re just waiting for it to be full so anytime someone new walks on everyone’s like SPILLLLLLLLL

And then once it was full we went back got our things, exchanged details with people on that bus and took photos and whatnot and turned our phones on to the madness anddddddd so well thats the story of the best damn day of my life

~

Taylor, thank you thank you thank for giving me such incredible memories that I’ve blown up the phones of every person I know, and have talked every person’s ears off that I’ve met during these past 365 days, about how special they are to me.  Thank you for making it happen, thank you for holding my gaze so intently and being so genuine every second I was talking to you, thank you for bringing me some of the best friends I’ve ever had, thank you for being so prominent in the highlights of not only this past year, but this past decade.  I love you forever, babe.  Long, long live October 22, 2017.

[xuseokgyu]

This might be the longest one yet.......... rip. i had some stories to tell.... :((

My job is to mostly to tell people when they make mistakes lmao. i work in document quality control ? for a manufacturing company, mostly check the inspection paperwork and certificates for the medical/surgical devices. and then have to be like this... is not right. fix this. currently have a lot of prototype parts going through which have some added requirements but also they keep changing the prints so then obviously the paperwork then changes and its just been annoying cuz its redo-ing a lot of paperwork.

yeah, that makes sense and that is part of it sometimes... i also think im just not in the mood for certain genres of music at times lol.

lol yeah it was so funny in the beginning she was watching some mv's and kept sending me screenshots of jeonghan with different hair styles with this message "who is this????" and every single time it was still jeonghan. i was just like lmao you should just assume that its jeonghan at this point. her defense was that he looks really different every time he changes his hair. she can recognize him now at least. the only other ones she can recognize currently are s.coups (her current favorite member overall) and vernon (her favorite rapper in their songs - she really like how vernon raps). shes more rap biased lol.

thank you.. you are only a little late lol my bday was the 11th. the last time i played bingo i spent $40 total over two days (80 games @ $0.50/game) and won zero. its a skill... i only got close to bingo (1 space away) like 3 times total. it was really tragic... at one point the lady sitting at the same table as us was just like wow... i haven't seen you even get three in a row since i've been here (which was like an hour).

We went to the same kindergarten, then i moved away and then i moved back in the 8th grade (i also have known the friend that is getting into svt for the same amount of time since she went to that same school, though her family are basically neighbors with my cousins family, and they are really close, so i saw her a lot more overall but wasn't super close to her until more recently actually, when we went to the same wedding (my cousin's) and starting talking again)

also to help this make more sense (as in why would they remember me lol) my graduating class size at that school was only 22 people, and my cousins also went to that same school. my dad went to that school, the english teacher there had taught my dad when he was in high school, its extreme small town vibes. people would literally just recognize what family i came from and just start talking to me. and i'd just be frantically trying to figure out who they were. like oh god oh god am i supposed to know who this is?? have i met this person before???

actually the wackiest thing is one of my friends from when i moved (big school), her grandma, i found out after we moved back to the small town, used to babysit my dad and her grandmas house was literally a mile down the street from us... you could see her grandmas house from our living room windows. i was just like what?? her cousins also then went to the same school as me. and then we fell out of touch but then ended up going to the same college. where she would be like "i saw you on campus today" and i was just like??? i did not see you, where are you? i haven't talked to you in like 3 years wtf?? i'm not in touch with her anymore but my younger sister is currently roommates with her younger sister in college lmao. oh other bizarre thing... one of my classmate's (from the big school) relatives bought the house we sold when i moved in kindergarten, and idk for some reason a few years after we moved we went back to the old house for something idk, and my classmate was visiting her family at my old house at the same time. we saw each other and we just stared at each other like what are you doing here?? we had moved like hour away (highway travel times) lol so it was just so random. (wow i hope these made sense lol)

the heat was worse in the beginning of summer i think... or i've just gotten used to it lol. there was all that smoke though that blew in from canada a bit ago though. but thats almost become a yearly thing now unfortunately. lol your weather sounds like how the weather is here sometimes - i live in minnesota, we are known for our wildly fluctuating weather. extreme highs and lows.

I love piano in music! I had to learn how to play piano as a kid... my grandma taught (most) of the grandchildren. i'm not very good at it tbh i never liked to practice and i havent played in years lol. we also learned how to play the piano/read sheet music when i went to the big school for music class for a year. I feel like if you are able to buy a little cheap or used keyboard it shouldn't be too hard to teach yourself if you wanted to start?? at least simple songs. I guess learning to read music would be the hardest place to start if you've never read sheet music before?? but thats what cheat sheets are for tbh. write the notes in, write them on the keys whatever works. we had a foldable note cheat sheet thing that went behind the keys and said the name of the note and where it was on the staff behind all the keys. when I was learning i'd be like b b b where is the b im looking for... ah here it is *ding* ok and now c ... c . c. ah ha *ding* and then repeat until you can play at a normal speed lol.

oh hands down its Oh My! best summer song lol i love Oh My! .... You Made My Day is also my fav album... what about you?

also what's ur favorite cold drink (#2)? picked this one cuz I have been buying myself bubble tea like once a week almost uhhh all summer lol the tapioca pearls at this place are so much better than other places i've been to and this place has cheese foam that i have also become obsessed with (tho thats very expensive its an extreme treat myself drink add-on lol) the blended mango with cheese foam... so good.... its like $7 though. today i got the normal mango milk tea which i hadn't had in a while cuz i'd been going through the various types of regular? milk tea (made with different types of black tea - i love black tea i have um a lot of tea i think i have like 15 different types rn). Otherwise I almost always have ginger ale in my fridge lol its great for a lot of things and also just to drink. love ginger ale... i just love ginger honestly.....

Is 1am and I should be sleeping but I wanna answer this before reveal day!!!

Best job description 😂😂 I feel like your job is one that can become automatic very easily so I can see how the changes can be annoying

SCoups and Vernon are definitely the ones with more distinctive faces, they were the ones I recognized better first, same for my father... he knows the names of all the members now but he still messes up the three Js hahah Jeonghan Joshua and Jun always take a while for him to recognize, sometimes Wonwoo too, which drives my sister crazy cause two of her three bias are there 😂😂

These small town vibes are so cool! I love that you have this community and managed to form long lasting friendships!! I basically had the same classmates for ten years and as soon as we graduated I lost touch... I made great friends at college tho The pandemic has been hard, we are respecting our health and haven’t seen each other personally since it all started, but I hope once we can meet again everything will go back to how it was between us

I had a situation sort of similar to yours at school too ahha My mom was and had already been a teacher (P.E.) at my school for years so all the staff and a looot of the older students knew who I was, but I had no idea who those people were hahah To this day almost everywhere we go together we will encounter some old student of hers...

Is so cool that your grandma did that! But I can see how it was more a task than something you truly wanted to do so you probably wouldn’t be very excited heheh I was part of a choir growing up and we had sheet music but our teacher never truly showed us how to read it, I know the basics but is literally like a toddler that just learned the alphabet hahah

Oh my! really is THE summer song I completely agree with you there!! I also absolutely loove the mv and whole comeback seemed really cool

Oohh I only had bubble tea once and I want to drink it again!! I only know of one place that sells it here, it is still a pretty new “concept” so there’s not a lot of shops around... And I never had ginger ale! I’m super curious about it cause I’ve heard it being mentioned in, like, tv series, but I don’t drink sodas so I don’t know if I would break my “diet” for a taste heheh My favorite cold drink is lemon iced tea, the ones we have here are really sweet and kinda “sparkling”? (I don’t know how to say it... is almost like a soda but not really 😅) Even during the winter, we drink it during weekends cause is a “special drink” hahahah not a Brazilian thing, just in my house

[thoughtsfromaclutteredbrain]

Thinking With His Heart [Karamel Fanfiction]

I started writing this fic a couple weeks ago, and I promised myself that I would post it before the new year, so I'm pretty proud of myself for actually meeting that goal lol. Warning, angst ahead cuz I just can't help myself. Tagging everyone who shared their interest in the teaser (this is a lot of people I'm sorry): @emarasmoak @theleticiathings-blog @facepalming-since-chernobyl @ms-jane-darcy @whovianlunatic @busysciencegeek @jedelmanss @lostin-the-desert @cant-forget-karamel @notsomildmanerred @imtiredof-waiting

Thank you for your enthusiasm.

SUMMARY: "Mon El thought he knew what fear felt like... But in that moment, as he walked into the DEO med bay, he realized that he was wrong. Mon El had never really, truly felt fear until the moment he saw Kara on the table, fighting for her life while Alex tried desperately to save her."

[Picks up from the end of 3x09 and includes speculation for 3x10, told from Mon El's POV]

WORD COUNT: 3,263 words

NOTE: So my thoughts have been spinning since the midseason finale, and since the trailer for 3x10. Not only did we get our first peek of the Legion rings on the members, and our first glimpse of Brainiac 5, the end of the trailer seemed to have Kara in one of the stasis tanks on the Legion ship! This fic is pure speculation on what may happen for Kara to end up there. This fic also follows the theories that the marriage is fake and that the Legion's objective is to save Kara from Reign. With that said, enjoy!

Now available on AO3!

[Feedback is welcome. Hate will be blocked. Thank you!]

Mon El thought he knew what fear felt like.

His life had been marked by that emotion. He felt it first when his planet died, and he was shoved into that little pod and shot out into the vastness of space. Then, when he landed on a strange planet, not knowing anyone, and finding out that he was the sole survivor of Daxam. His encounter with Parasite, being captured by CADMUS, getting shot, almost dying from Medusa. Gaining the courage to kiss Kara for the first time, and then having to admit his feelings to her, and then falling in love with her. Finding out his parents weren't really dead, losing Kara, traveling to another Earth to save her from Music Meister's spell. Almost going back to Daxam, getting locked up by his parents, the Daxamite invasion. Each moment had been scarier than the last, and none of it was more terrifying than almost dying when the lead was released into the atmosphere, and having to leave Kara again.

When he crashed into the 31st century, he was met with an almost calm acceptance. The feeling of crashing onto a strange planet was somehow familiar. His life was constantly filled with new beginnings, with pain, with fear. He knew the feelings well.

But in that moment, as he walked into the DEO med bay, Mon El realized that he was wrong. Mon El had never really, truly felt fear until the moment he saw Kara on the table, fighting for her life while Alex tried desperately to save her.

He felt panic rise up in his chest, and he was sure that his heart would collapse under the weight of it. He couldn't tear his eyes away from Kara, and he knew that the image of her would be burned into his retinas for a long time.

Her skin was paler than usual, and it had a thin layer of sweat. She had blood dripping down the side of her head and into her hair, staining her locks a dark, rusty color. She had tubes all over her, monitoring her vitals, and she even had one sticking out of her mouth.

Mon El had to remind himself to breathe. It wasn't right. She looked so helpless, so vulnerable, so human.

He couldn't even hear himself think over the sounds of the machines. They were beeping over and over again, reminding him and everyone else that something was very, very wrong.

His frantic thoughts were interrupted by a weird feeling in his mind. It felt almost as if someone was caressing his thoughts, turning them from shouts to whispers.

Imra. She was using her powers on him, trying her best to soothe his fear and calm him down. This was one of the reasons he had recruited her for this mission in the first place. Not only was she dedicated to the cause, but her unique power served as a safety net for whenever he strayed from the objective. She was there to give his mind a gentle nudge and make sure he stayed focused on the task at hand.

"She'll be okay," Imra told him aloud, squeezing his hand slightly as she spoke, while continuing to soothe his thoughts as best as she could. His eyes flickered down to hers briefly. He could tell that she wasn't worried. In the back of his mind, he knew that there really was no reason to be. They had seen this all play out in the history books, and Imra was right. Kara was going to be okay.

But it didn't matter. No amount of mind control could take away his worry for the woman he loved.

He was taken away from his thoughts by Alex's voice. "Stay with me, Kara," she muttered to her sister, her voice shaking slightly as she spoke. Her terror was evident in her eyes as she looked at her. "Stay with me."

As she spoke, one of the machines started beeping again, indicating that what Alex and the other medics were doing wasn't working. All he could do was watch in silent shock.

This wasn't right. She wasn't supposed to die. She can't die.

"We need to get her under a yellow sun lamp," one of the medics told Alex, but the agent was already shaking her head.

"No..." Alex replied, not taking her eyes off of Kara as she spoke. "We need to stabilize her before we can do that. The sun lamps will only help her if she's stable. Otherwise they won't heal her fast enough and..." She trailed off her words, not having the strength to finish her sentence.

He could tell that Alex was starting to lose her patience, seeming to get more frustrated with each beep of the machines.

He knew that the other medics were speaking, but he couldn't hear them over his own thoughts. They played in his head like a mantra.

No, no, no, no, no...

"This should be working," Alex exclaimed. He could hear her unshed tears in her voice, and her frustration was evident.

Mon El was no doctor, but the look on Alex's face scared him. It was one full of uncertainty, of fear, of worry. It told him that she didn't know what else she could do to save Kara's life.

It was Alex's look that shocked him into action. Suddenly, an idea popped into his mind, and before he even had a chance to think about it, he voiced it aloud.

"Put her in cryosleep."

The room fell silent with his words; the only sound was the noise of the machines. Alex didn't look up from her work, but the expression on her face showed him that she was open to suggestions at this point. From the corner of his eye, he saw Imra snap her head towards him, but he ignored her.

"What are you talking about?" J'onn asked. He had been standing next to Mon El in silence, watching Alex with worry evident on his face. Now, he looked at Mon El with skepticism.

Before Mon El could respond, he felt Imra in his brain, harshly tugging at his mind. This went against their entire plan, but he didn't care. Kara's life was more important, and he couldn't just stand there and do nothing. He focused all his energy on ignoring the pull in his mind before he spoke.

"The stasis tanks on our ship. If you put her in cryosleep, the ship will repair the damage to her body and stabilize her. It should work as long as you can get her there."

Mon El made eye contact with Winn as he spoke. Terror was plastered on his face, and he ran his hands through his hair, trying to calm himself down. He was too scared to speak, but Mon El didn't miss the small glimmer of hope that appeared in Winn's eyes, mixing with his panic and worry. He could tell that Winn was on board with the idea.

J'onn thought about it for a moment before directing his attention to the agent. "Alex. Your call."

She chewed on her lip, weighing her options as she looked down at her sister. One look at the machine, however, and her mind was made up. "Okay." She whispered.

Mon El was about to turn around and leave the medbay when he felt Imra in his head, stopping him dead in his tracks. She had a vice grip on his mind, holding him in place.

"Mon El," she hissed, just quiet enough so only he could hear.

He looked over at her, pleading with his eyes. He knew that she disagreed with helping Kara right now, but surely she wouldn't stop him, right?

Please, Imra, he pleaded in his mind, hoping that she would listen to him. He knew there was no mistaking the desperation in his thoughts. Please.

As Mon El thought the words, he saw her eyes soften, and he knew she had caved. She let go of his mind with a sigh. Once he had regained control of himself, he snapped into action.

"Let's go," he ordered, turning around and leaving the medbay, the squeaking of Kara's stretcher echoing behind him.

★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★

Mon El stood silently in front of one of the stasis tanks on the ship; the one that he had just helped Alex, Winn and J'onn put Kara into. His arms were crossed in front of his chest, but even that couldn't prevent them from shaking.

There she was— her eyes closed, her skin pale and her hair floating around her head in a golden halo. She had a white band secured to her forehead to help them to track her vitals while she healed. Kara. His Kara.

He couldn't take his eyes off of her. He had to be there for her when she woke up, and he worried that he would miss that moment if he looked away.

That's why Mon El was surprised when someone came up to him, grabbing his left bicep and spinning him around to face them. Once his eyes settled and he registered the face, he let out a sigh. He knew this was coming.

Imra.

He had a lot of explaining to do; that much was for sure. He was supposed to be the leader of the Legion. He wasn't supposed to be the one messing up their mission.

He was about to try to fumble his way through an apology when she interrupted him.

"What the hell, Mon El?"

He almost wanted to chuckle at her words. He had missed this Imra in recent days. Now that Alex, Winn and J'onn were immersed in their own conversations, Imra could finally drop the "sweet and docile wife" act. He had to admire her commitment to the job, because the Imra he knew was anything but docile.

It was only now that they were alone that he saw the Imra that he had known in the 31st century. She was fierce and she was determined and she was empathetic and she was passionate.

And she was pissed at him.

Her eyes were ablaze with anger, and in that moment, Mon El was thankful that she didn't have heat vision.

"Imra, I'm sorry," he started, his voice sounding exasperated already. He knew this conversation was coming, but that doesn't mean he was ready for it.

Imra just scoffed at him before continuing. "You should be sorry." She crossed her arms in front of her chest. "You're putting everything we've worked for at risk."

"I know," he muttered.

"We've been planning this for months... for years! You've been planning it!" She threw her arms up over her head. pacing back and forth as he talked. She stopped moving and dropped her arms to her side. "I... I just don't get it, Mon El. Explain it to me. Please."

Mon El opened his mouth, ready to answer, but nothing came out. He didn't know how to explain his reasons to her, because truthfully, the answer was quite simple. He did it because it was Kara, and he couldn't stand to see her like that. He had to do something.

She sighed when he said nothing. "We're lucky that we didn't mess anything up when she found you on the ship, and we're already trying to do this job while we have men still asleep. We've analyzed every point of this, and found the exact point to interfere where we have the greatest chance for success. History says that Supergirl fights the first battle with Reign, and yes, she gets injured but she lives. I just don't get why you would interfere now..."

"We've already interfered!" Mon El interrupted, unable to hold back anymore. She looked at him with a shocked look on her face, but stayed silent, so he continued. "Every day we're at the DEO we're interfering. And we've already messed things up. Kara was supposed to get injured, not beaten within an inch of her life. I couldn't let her die."

"She wouldn't have died." Imra retorted. "You know we would have known immediately if anything had changed that much."

He ignored her words, not wanting to admit to himself that they were true. "We already changed things. She was off her game in her fight with Reign because of us."

"You don't know that," Imra stated, starting to sound frustrated with him. "We didn't know how injured she got in the first fight. All we knew was that she survived."

Mon El stayed quiet. Imra was right, but that didn't mean he had to be okay with that.

Imra's eyes softened, and her voice was quieter when she continued. "Why can't you just admit it was a personal decision? That you did it because you were worried about her?"

Mon El was about to say something before he stopped. He wasn't expecting that question. He wondered briefly if she had read his mind. She had a habit of doing it unconsciously, but he shook the thought away, still trying to find an answer to her question.

She smirked a little, trying to lighten the mood a bit. "You know, you're lucky I'm the one that woke up. I've been in your mind. I've seen firsthand how much you care about her, and I understand. If it was Brainiac who woke up, he'd be trying you for treason right now."

Mon El wanted to chuckle, but he felt a sickening feeling sink into the pit of his stomach, because Imra was exactly right. Brainiac had an unparalleled intelligence, but it made him see things as black and white, with no area for gray. As a leader, that was what he should have been doing, but he had let his fear guide his decision instead.

He couldn't admit it was a personal decision. This wasn't the time for him to be thinking with his heart. If he was letting his emotions guide him, then he shouldn't be leading them on this mission.

But Mon El couldn't think of anything worse than sitting back and leaving Kara's fate in someone else's hands.

Instead, Mon El clamped down hard on his thoughts before speaking. "I had to make sure there was a Kara to save in the future. If I hadn't saved her now, the entire mission could have been ruined by her dying early. I intervened because I thought it was right."

The look Imra gave him let him know that she didn't believe him, but she didn't question it. "I'm going to go," she told him instead, and he didn't miss the weariness in her voice. "I'm going to make sure nothing changed too much from this."

He nodded, not trusting himself to speak. He feared that if he spoke, he would spill all the words that he was trying to hold back. He knew that Imra knew how he was feeling anyway, even if he didn't want her to.

Before she turned to walk away, she placed a hand on his shoulder. "We're going to save her, Mon El. I know it. This isn't your burden to bear alone."

Yes it is, he thought before he could stop himself, and he knew that Imra had heard him by the look of pity she gave him. She looked like she was going to say something else, but then thought against it.

Imra started to walk away, but Mon El called out to her before she could. "Hey Imra," he started, and she turned back around, looking a bit surprised. "You could have stopped me back in the medbay, but you didn't. Why not?"

Her face was unreadable, her eyes hardening as she responded. "I may not agree with you, but that doesn't mean I would stop you. I'm not that kind of person."

Mon El couldn't help but think that he had insulted her with his question. As a telepath, many people expected her to be cold-hearted and manipulative, and he knew that she struggled with that perception. However, he knew that she was anything but. If anything, her power made her more empathetic, and her response made perfect sense to him. Despite not agreeing with his choice, and knowing that he could be endangering their objective with it, Imra still wouldn't use her power to forcefully take his free will away. She would only control him if he asked because that was the type of person she was, and even then, it had been a struggle to convince her to control him when he was around Kara.

She turned on her heel and walked away without another word, and even though Mon El knew that he should probably stop her to apologize, he let her go. He thought it would be better to let her have her space first.

And even if he had wanted to, he couldn't bring himself to move. He wanted to stay by Kara's side until she woke up. She needed to wake up.

"Hey, Kara," he muttered. He relished in the feeling of being able to talk to her freely, without all the baggage surrounding them right now. He knew that all of the tension between them was his fault; it was because of all of the lies he was telling in the name of saving her life. Even though he knew he was doing it for the right reasons, he still couldn't stop his stomach from churning with each lie he told.

Her pain. Her heartache. Her sadness. It was all because of him.

"I know you can't hear me," he continued, walking closer and pressing his hand against the glass of the tank. He wished that he was able to grab her hand, to touch her, to look into her eyes, but he couldn't. Instead, he pressed his head against the glass as well, squeezing his eyes shut. "But I need you to wake up. I need you."

He felt tears coming, and he tried his best to hold them back. He took a deep breath, trying to compose himself before continuing.

"And when you wake up, I'm going to be here for you, even though you hate me right now. And I promise, I will do everything I can to protect you. To save you. And, once it's all said and done, if you can find it in your heart to forgive me, I will love you again, with everything that I have."

He felt a tear escape him, silently sliding down his cheek. He wiped it away quickly, cursing himself for not being strong. "So please," he said, his voice hoarse from the tears left unshed and all of the things that he wanted to say but couldn't. "Just wake up."

He sighed, backing away slowly from the stasis tank, fixing his eyes onto her face once again. Imra was right. He wasn't thinking clearly. He couldn't think clearly when it came to Kara.

One good thing had come from his conversation with Imra. He had realized that this wasn't going to work. They wouldn't be able to complete the Legion's mission in their current state, with only him and Imra awake. He was too close to Kara, despite his better judgment. And Imra, she was too good of a person to keep him in line. He needed someone calloused, someone with a one track mind, someone who wouldn't be afraid to keep him in line, even though he was their leader.

He needed to wake another Legion member, and he knew just the one.

Brainiac.

[NOTE: Imra may seem to be a bit ooc from what we've seen on the show, but that was done on purpose. I think Imra is playing the wife role right now, and I'm hoping to see her drop the act and show Imra, the soldier, a bit more in the future.Despite that, I do think she actually is a good person at heart, and I do like her character a lot (and she was fun to write.)]

[Feedback is welcome. Hate will be blocked. Thank you!]

[canaryatlaw]

okay let’s go. today was good. same deal, woke up, ended up getting stuck waiting in court for both the client and a translator and I literally waited 3 fucking hours for court, by the time we finished it was like 12:30 and I was so done with everyone. it’s the same judge I’ve spoken to the past few days and I’m like trying to gently help her along when I can but the first case was like mass chaos and of course the client spoke Spanish so I couldn’t even like have a private conversation with her (for the record that’s because she’s not my client, I’m just covering it for my work buddy while he covered another one of mine (and oh that one ended up being fun) so it was a mess and we just ended up like okay everybody leave now goodbye!!! and I had to casually wait and be like oh hey I have another case up haha and have them get the file, this case is like super old and was supposed to had a hearing in last JANUARY so it’s been way too long, and I swear the OC is really nice but the like 6 or 7 times the case has been up like every time he calls me the morning of and we decided on a next date and I cover the case for the two of us because he has a bunch of other shit to do lol. to be fair he did say this morning that he has something like 100 cases going on right now which is fucking nuts given we generally go for like 20-25 (though overall numbers have gone down with us accepting less cases) so I’m sure he is really fucking busy lol it just amuses me. we ended up finally setting a hearing date for the end of April, so hopefully we can get that accomplished then. the rest of the day I didn’t really have much to do, a bunch of my cases ended up finishing quickly and now I have like, 12 active cases, and I mean there were still tasks to be done but I was at a point with all of them that I couldn’t do anything further on them right now for one reason or another so I ended up like volunteering myself to help with clinic haha and of course then I get asked to find my certificate from the 40 hour DV training I did in June because it was needed for a report (grants and complicated stuff like that) and I knew it was somewhere in the pile of things on the floor and basically ripped up the whole room trying to find this damn thing. and of course when I’m in the middle of it, the clinic supervisor, who today was actually my boss emailed me and my other coworker who was actually on back up asking if we could review some paperwork and I was like.....I gotta find something but I’ll be back and thankfully I found it not too long after and then started reviewing the papers. I wasn’t like involved with the case at all but it was just sad, and I mean I’m aware that all of our cases are sad (duh) but I just felt a lot of empathy for this girl who had just turned 18 like a month ago and was being abused by her mother and her 26 year old boyfriend (so chances they were dating while she was underage, pretty fucking high, huh?) and hopefully we will be able to help her with both things, I just felt bad for her. anyway. I did what work I could manage until a bit after 5, I had two envelopes to mail so I attempted to go to the mailbox.....my legs had been kind of randomly shaky today but I mean who knows what’ll happen so I try to get down the steps and I’m like halfway on this one spot holding onto the railing where they just start like fully spazzing out and making my whole body shake and my grip on the railing was the only preventing me from being like shaking on the floor. the thing was this had happened before when I fell down the stairs, it had started like this on that step and I attempted to throw myself backwards to where there was a landing, but I didn’t make it there smoothly and fell down the stairs instead. but I also know more now that it usually passes after a few minutes, so I just stood there holding on for like 3 minutes until they’re like gradually stopping shaking and I can actually make it onto the landing and go the rest of the way up the stairs from there. ugh, I hate this. friend was coming over though so I started making the apple cider donuts we had discussed and I’ve made already not long ago. I almost had them in the oven when she arrived, we wanted to get panera because it hadn’t previously been on a delivery platform for us, but ubereats was doing the whole “no couriers nearby” thing which probably makes some sense because the location is like north of us, so that’s pretty far north. but we’re able to get it done on postmates, and it just took fucking forever haha but we got the food and it was very good. I got one of their new flatbread pizza things and they described their sauce as “tomato bell pepper sauce” and I was kind of like meh cuz I don’t really like bell peppers but I was like well okay I’ll give it a try, but then when I went to order it there was like a remove sauce option so I just hit that and they ended up calling and asking us if the order was right because it apparently got written that I wanted no sauce and no cheese, which I assured them was not the case lol, it was entertaining. when it came there was a big circle of my order on the receipt that had “call client” written next to it which I thought was amusing. but yeah, friend went home eventually and I watched two episodes (I think) of Chicago Fire, I’m like a few episodes away from when my favorite character is supposed to leave and like break up I think?? and they’re starting to have like the stupidest fights and they better give me a better reason than that for them just to call it quits, I’m just saying. but yeah, after watching some of that I went to shower and start getting ready for bed and now I’m here and it’s just past 1:30 am so good time to go to sleep. Goodnight friends. Happy weekend.

[pertinax--loculos]

Character Study: Jay (2.1)

[Breaking the second part into two parts of its own, cuz I kinda wanna rework what I wrote for the last two. Additonally, small tweak to the Plan: I’m thinking I’ll probably drop one of the nine prompts I had for each character, to make it an even 4/4 split over the two parts (plus as I’ve been mulling it over it’s basically happened that way naturally anyway lol). CW for swearing, as ever.]

4. Rivals Jay’s position within the Association meant that he was indispensable enough to be able to freelance, at least to an extent. Of course there were jobs he’d never be able to accept – mostly those involving direct competitors – but it was a good enough side hustle, especially because the jobs rarely required more than his equivalent of a mean look. Easy money.

Of course, he was far from the only freelancer in town.

Which resulted in situations like these.

He’d slipped silently into the living room of the guy he was supposed to shake down – some argument, or maybe a debt, Jay was long past asking too many questions – and found a figure poised by the side of the front window. He was well enough concealed that Jay might not have noticed him if it wasn’t for the serendipitous passing of a car, headlights sweeping across the room and throwing the silhouette into sharp relief.

Jay stopped, arranged his face into an easy smirk. “Becker.”

The figure spun around and cursed, colourfully and at length. “Fucking hell,” he finished in a mutter. “How the hell do you always manage to get inside without using a fucking door?”

Jay shrugged as he slinked forward a step. “Trade secret.”

“Right.” Becker had mirrored his forward movement, sliding back a step to maintain the distance between them. He stopped in the slanting light from the street outside; it illuminated him well enough that Jay could see that while his body language remained relaxed, his pale eyes were alert. “So you wanna toss for it?”

Jay’s smirk widened.

He lost the coin toss, which wasn’t great for his reputation, but at least meant that his night was freed up. Plus he got to exit, loudly, through the front door, which was novel in and of itself.

Becker knew as well as he did that it wasn’t the end of it – Becker’s employer would run out of either money or caution sooner rather than later – but neither of them were invested in the tasks beyond the payout. And both of them knew Jay wasn’t one to leave a job unfinished.

But for tonight he’d just revel in the unexpected free time. He ducked into an alley a couple of blocks away, walking around halfway down before he leaned against the wall and fished out his cigarettes. This was territory disputed enough for it to be practically neutral; he wasn’t going to be disturbed by some random dealers.

He was on his third cigarette when he heard footsteps approach. Jay slitted his eyes open just far enough to confirm his suspicion before he tipped his head back against the wall.

Becker drew up a good ten feet away, propping his hip against the skeleton of a long burned-out car. “Got a spare?”

Jay tossed the cigarettes towards him without opening his eyes. “Lemme guess. Appropriately lauded, you truly do live up to your reputation, thank you so much for protecting me, I’m gonna pass your name around to all my friends?”

Becker chuckled around his cigarette. “Usual song and dance.” He made a slight clucking sound, and Jay glanced over to catch the packet as he threw it back. “How pissed d’you reckon they’d be if they found out their safety was predicated on a coin toss?”

“Probably not as pissed as the ones whose delivery of a message is predicated on the same,” Jay said, grinning at him.

Becker ashed his cigarette off to the side, his gaze turning shrewd. “How the hell do you explain to them that you couldn’t do what they asked?”

“What do you mean?”

“Johns.” Becker’s voice was dry. “You gotta know the kinda reputation you have. With a rep like that, I’d imagine all your prospective employers expect you to get the job done.”

Jay raised an eyebrow, letting his smile sharpen into more of a smirk. “Whatever are you talking about?”

“Oh, shut up.” Becker rolled his eyes. “You’re a fucking ghost, Johns. No signs of entry or exit, nothing broken, not so much as a hair out of place unless you want it that way. How do you do all that and then sell a failure to someone who’s paying you?”

“Ah, you gotta factor in failures,” Jay said, glancing down as he tapped the end of his cigarette. “It’s the only way to stop them from asking you to do the impossible. Plus,” – he looked back up to smirk at Becker again – “I gotta leave some work for the rest of you guys.”

Becker’s mouth quirked as he took a drag. “Naw, c’mon. I can get work on my own merits.”

“Only because I’m modulating my reputation,” Jay said gravely.

Becker snorted. “Maybe we should test your theory then. I could totally take you.”

“You fucking wish,” Jay retorted. “Apparently your recollection of our initial encounter has been altered by time. Do we need to refresh your memory?” He flicked his cigarette away and straightened; he didn’t miss the corresponding tension that lanced through Becker’s frame.

“Yeah, no,” he said, eyeing Jay carefully. “Two weeks in the hospital is not something I wanna repeat.”

“See? Not just a pretty face.” Jay flashed his teeth in something that wasn’t quite a smile. “I’d better get going. Got some stupid fucking rendezvous I gotta chaperone.”

Becker raised his eyebrows. “Off of Murphy’s? Two am?”

Jay huffed some air out his nose in a half-laugh as he started to turn away. “Guess I’ll see you there.”

“Better me than Wyatt.”

Jay glanced over his shoulder as he walked, his smile more genuine than he normally allowed. “Better you than anybody, really.”

“Don’t forget you still owe me a drink,” Becker called after him.

Jay laughed, loud and deliberate and a little too sincere. “Don’t forget you still owe me your life.”

Becker’s answering laugh trailed him out of the alley.

5. Skills Grant very nearly startled when Johns sauntered through the door less than an hour after he'd left. He just managed to conceal the reaction, spoke without looking up. "That was fast."

Johns's reply was haughty. "I told you it was a simple job."

Grant didn't bother hiding his response to that; he leaned back in his chair, twirling his pen between his fingers, and gave Johns an incredulous stare.

Johns met his gaze as he sauntered another couple of steps into the room, and Grant had to fight not to wince. The man carried himself with an arrogance that bordered on sickening, made worse by the fact it was entirely justified.

"The other... contractors I approached didn't seem to think it was so simple," Grant said, when Johns showed no signs of elaborating.

The corner of his mouth quirked up, the beginning of that signature smirk. "Should've approached me first."

"You're fucking expensive, Johns. I'm not gonna pay your rates if I can avoid it." Grant tried not acknowledge the fact he was lying; if half the stuff he'd heard about Jay Johns was true, he'd notice any deception. The only thing Grant really had going for him was that there was no reason for Johns to think he was anything but another client.

And that seemed to be working in his favour; Johns raised one shoulder, let it drop. "You get what you pay for."

"I can assume then that you have the item?"

Johns's eyes rolled upwards momentarily, before he stalked far enough forward to place a small box at the end of the table. Grant couldn't help himself tensing, and judging from the shape of Johns's smile, he didn't miss it.

"As promised," he drawled, entirely at ease. He twisted one hand almost idly, and a phone shimmered into being between his fingers. "Payment?"

"Will be wired when I confirm the authenticity," Grant said, pulling off a passably indifferent air.

The phone was replaced by a knife with incredible swiftness. Grant shifted just enough that he could stand without being impeded by the table.

"What." Johns's gaze was as flat as his voice.

"This is not some drug dealer spat," Grant said as evenly as he could. "An item like this requires verification. Surely you know that."

Somehow Johns managed to give the impression he was abruptly closer than he had been, even though Grant was certain he hadn't seen him move. He tried not to acknowledge the sudden thrum of his pulse in his ears.

"You'd better not try to screw me," Johns said, his voice dangerously pleasant.

"Please." Grant realised his pen had stilled; he resumed twirling it as he continued. "We're both professionals. You'll get your payment."

"Good." Johns stared at him for a long moment, and then turned and started for the door. He hesitated in the doorway, glancing over his shoulder. "Cuz I know where you live."

Grant had relaxed enough that he was able to snort dismissively. "I don't live here, Johns."

"Oh, I know." That damned smirk was back, wide enough to show a flash of teeth. "You live over on Monaro Drive. Lovely little bungalow. Your roses are doing real well this year."

Well that was fucking unnerving. Grant didn't have the presence of mind to hide his shock; there was no way -- no way -- Johns could possibly know that.

The fucker's smirk was broad enough to nearly be called a grin. "Hope I don't see you again, Grant." He winked, and then he was gone.

An embarrassingly long few minutes passed before Grant recovered enough to pull out his phone. The woman answered on the second ring.

"So?"

"Forty-three minutes," Grant said, leaning over to pull the box towards him. He cracked it open to peer at the contents, unnecessarily. "And Deidre? He fucking knows where I live."

There was a pause. Grant was vaguely gratified that that seemed to have thrown her as well.

"It's okay," she said finally. "It's not gonna be a problem for much longer."

"You'd better fucking hope so." Grant glanced towards the front door, and then down at the box again. "Regardless, let me know when they've got him in custody."

"You wanna make contact?"

"Fuck no." Three different security systems, seven guards, lead-lined vault. It'll take a savant to do this in less than ninety minutes. Unless he can walk through walls. "But I think I'm gonna stay in a hotel until then."