#currently planning a pilot issue as we speak

[c4tb1rd]

The autistic urge to create self-published ergodic literature trans space horror as a series of zines with interactive elements

Anyway I’ve been researching how to make commercial-looking spaceship maps for the last thirty minutes and I think I’m gonna need to get real familiar with vector programs

[tommyfebuary6]

Somalia’s only all-female media team, Bilan, is launching the country’s first TV current affairs show to be hosted by a woman.

The debate show, which plans to address some taboo subjects, will also be the first programme on Somali television to have a panel of at least 50% women, and the first to broach contentious topics, such as a critical shortage of female teachers and the challenges faced by women trying to get into politics, as well as environmental issues.

Reaction to the pilot was overwhelmingly positive, said the host, Naima Said Salah, and exposed the impact that a dire lack of information had on girls. “One young woman in the audience shared her own experience. She remembered the exact time and day when her period started because she had no idea what was happening. She thought she was dying. It was only after she told her older sister, that she understood,” said Salah, a senior reporter at Bilan.

Salah added that she was proud to bring the subject of periods into public debate. “Women, including me, never had the opportunity to learn about periods as girls; even our own mums don’t discuss it. People think this is taboo, but it is a fact; it exists and we cannot ignore it.”

Somalia’s media sector is male-dominated, with a strong focus on politics. All six founding members of Bilan have faced discrimination and harassment in their careers. The project was set up to offer women a safe space to tell the stories they wanted to tell, and has covered a wide range of under-reported stories, including Somalis living with HIV, child abuse and postnatal depression.

“One reason why women’s stories are rarely told in the Somali media is that most reporters are men. Bilan will change that,” said Ibrahim at the time. “Women will speak to us because we too are women. They will allow us into their homes, their prayer rooms and their private spaces.”

[taiblogcomics]

Pilots in the US Air Farce

Hey there, electrokinesis. Well, like I said at both the beginning and end of our look at Slapstick, we're doing a look at two different six-issue series focusing on toon physics. I was way into the concept, like, half a year back when I decided to review these. And this might be the darker of the two, fair warning! It is a Garth Ennis comic, after all. Yeah, that Garth Ennis. I normally do not like his work, but given that this isn't actually about superheroes, it's a lot easier to stomach. This is a good comic, I promise! But if it's not about superheroes, what is it, then?

Well, here's the cover:

Yeah~ This is about Hanna-Barbera characters. We're reinterpreting these beloved cartoon characters into modern, more realistic times, with a realistic art style! This seems ripe for disaster, but I promise you this goes somewhere very interesting and not as straightforward as I'm pretending with this description. So, rather than further coyness, let's get you familiar with these characters, if you've somehow avoided contact with two of the most iconic cartoon villains in, like, the last half a century or so~

The titular duo, Dick Dastardly and his sidekick doggo Muttley, got their start in Wacky Races, where their typical role was to get an early lead and then attempt to cheat and set traps to maintain that advantage. They can't simply continue and win, they're the villains, so they have to cheat. Dick really loved being a transparently evil villain. Not that he was a world-conquering monster or torturer or anything, the man just wanted to win some races. And he was really committed to his bit at doing everything in the most underhanded way he could think of.

Muttley, meanwhile, was his dog sidekick. Known best for his signature raspy giggle, Muttley didn't otherwise speak too clearly. Not that he couldn't speak at all, but usually it was some vaguely understandable muttering. And if it wasn't Dick's own overconfidence in his plans doing them in, it'd probably be because he pushed his abuse of Muttley too far or just Muttley messing with him for his own amusement. Kind of a disfunctional relationship, honestly, but what do you expect? They're the villains!

After Wacky Races, they went on to menace other Hanna-Barbera characters, particularly the likes of Yogi Bear and Scooby-Doo. They also got their own spinoff, which is pretty good for a pair of villains who lost continuously! And that spinoff, Dastardly and Muttley in Their Flying Machines, is essentially the basis of this comic, which I promise we're gonna get to by the next paragraph. In fact, this one's almost used up, so let's dip in and see how you take that whole concept and bring it into modern realism~

So we start in the Middle Eastern country of Unliklistan, which we only see from a distance. Instead, we're hearing a radio broadcast where they're about to switch on their first atomic reactor. You can see the huge cooling tower and everything, it's the biggest building on the map. Before it starts, one reporter questions the active scientist (one Professor Dubious by name) whether the use of Unstablium-239 is a good idea. He will hear no protest, and activates the reactor. We are then treated to a massive explosion for page 2~

Four days later, we're joined in a United States Air Force jet piloted by Lt. Col. Richard Atcherly and his co-pilot Captain Dudley Muller, better known by their callsigns "Dick" and "Mutt", which I will also be using. Dick is annoyed for several reasons, not the least of which is that Mutt has brought his dog in the jet with them. Mutt reasons that low-level recon won't require the oxygen, and Dick tells him to expect the unexpected. Especially since a lot of these nations are unfriendly to begin with, and Unliklistan even more so, since the entire nation is currently irratiated following that explosion.

To that end, Mutt suddenly has a bogey on his radar. It's exactly what they've been sent to find: a surveillance drone that lost contact after investigating the explosion. And suddenly it's behind them. The pair catch a glimpse of it as it passes. It's a standard unmanned aircraft, labelled "War Pig One" on its side, and spewing a huge cloud behind it. But not a black cloud of potential engine failure. No, it's weird rainbow cloud filled with cartoon symbol swearing and other such iconography. The drone passes over them, bathing their jet in its cartoon discharge.

Dick tries to swing the jet around to follow it, but as he does so, the throttle turns into a cartoon steering wheel with an old-timey horn attached and detatches in his hands. Much like the Slapstick series before it, the cartoon objects are in a different artstyle to contrast them from the real world around them. Coloured outlines, a different kind of shading, the works. Anyway, with the steering wheel now disconnected from the aircraft, they start plunging to the ground. Mutt's eyes bug out of his head in shock, and I mean horrifically, hanging from the optic nerves and everything.

Dick yells at him to eject, and Mutt hits a button on his console, which has changed into just a single big red button. This launches them out of the jet--through the glass of their cockpit, at the end of enormous cartoon springs. They parachute to safety, and since I can see their parachutes, they're okay. Indeed, what we see next is Dick waking up in a hospital bed, covered in bandages. There's a few doctors surrounding him, letting him know that he's in a German air force base and that he's fine. Like, no trace of even any radiation sickness fine. Dick passes out again, asking vaguely where Mutt is.

Next time Dick comes to, he's being interrogated by a couple of secret agent types. They never say what organisation they work for, but they've got sunglasses, brown trenchcoats, and badges clipped to said trenchcoats. You know the type. Given they're in Germany, I'm gonna guess CIA? Anyway, while they're argumentative with Dick, they do tell him Mutt is being held in a different facility, which the wording "held" raises alarm bells for Dick. He demands more information, but they're leading the investigation, and show him a picture of the drone War Pig One.

He recognises it, stating his mission was to destroy it, which raises the suspicions of the first agent (we'll learn his name is Perkins in a few pages, let's go with that). Perkins states that the drone has been spotted in numerous locations over the Middle East and Europe since, and Dick remarks that it should've run out of fuel days ago. Perkins' partner, Nixon, tells him that it passed over their car that afternoon, and Perkins suddenly begins getting more erratic, shouting "you fool" and similar jargon, even accusing Dick of getting "wascally". Hey, is Hanna-Barbera allowed to reference Looney Tunes? Is that okay??

Dick asks if the drone was still spraying its bizarre cloud of stuff, and despite Perkins protesting not to give Dick information, Nixon confirms that they got a huge bath of the grawlix-filled mist. Dick notes to Nixon that this is when their aircraft started going out of control, then demands more information, such as where Mutt is and what exactly was being discharged from War Pig One. Perkins dives off the deep end, spewing almost as much gibberish as the drone was, until Nixon basically has to haul him away as he begins spouting cartoon cliche phrases.

Our comic ends with time having continued to pass since then. It's night and Dick's either asleep or just fading into it, when suddenly a voice calls out to him from the darkness--a voice he recognises. It's Mutt, and he's come to see him. He's escaped the other facility and is planning to have them both sneak out, but first he needs Dick to promise him to not over-react or panic when he turns on the light and shows him what happened. Dick does so, but immediately begins screaming when he catches sight of Mutt: he's fused with his dog, transforming him into a realistic anthro dog-man. As seen on the cover, so maybe this isn't as shocking to the readers as it is for Dick~

An intriguing premise to start with, eh? Of particular note, note how our titular protagonists aren't villains to start out with. (I mean, within the context of the comic; there's a lot we could argue about the US military, but this is neither the time nor place~) The clever among you can probably see where this is leading, but it's definitely the ride there that's the interesting part. As such, that's where we're headed the next few weeks~

[earaercircular]

Circular economy: North Rhine-Westphalia wants to work together with Flanders

Established and new companies in the region North Rhine-Westphalia are leaders in circularity

How can one avoid waste? How can products be sustainable and repairable? North Rhine-Westphalia and Flanders want to work together on central issues of the circular economy in the future. What can NRW learn from the “European Recycling Champion”?

Recycle instead of throwing away: the German state (Land) North Rhine-Westphalia[1] and the Belgian region of Flanders[2] want to work together in the future when it comes to circular economy. Prime Minister Hendrik Wüst (CDU) and the Flemish Prime Minister Jan Jambon signed a corresponding declaration of intent on Thursday 16-11 in Wuppertal[3]. The State Chancellery announced that, among other things, an exchange on pilot projects, scientific cooperation and the development of joint initiatives is planned. Further regions and countries are to be included in the cooperation in a further step. Jambon described the Netherlands as an “obvious partner for a next stage”.

A circular economy is defined as an economy in which existing materials and products are shared, reused, repaired and refurbished for as long as possible. The aim is to reduce waste to a minimum. In contrast, in the so-called linear economy, resources are taken from the environment, processed into products and later disposed of as emissions into the soil, air and water. The federal government is currently developing a “National Circular Economy Strategy”[4]. It is intended to bring together goals and measures for circular economy and resource conservation.

The signing marked the start of the day-long “Circular Valley Forum”[5] congress, at which more than 800 representatives from business, science and politics exchanged ideas about the circular economy. The organiser is the non-profit, state-supported Circular Valley Foundation[6].

“There is still far too much waste and many valuable resources are still being lost,” said Wüst. The circular economy offers immense opportunities on the way to a sustainable and climate-neutral economy. A well-functioning circular economy system is an essential building block for the further development of industrial locations in North Rhine-Westphalia and Flanders. “It helps to increase competitiveness, elevate the availability of raw materials and achieve climate goals,” the Prime Minister continued.

Circular economy is no longer a buzzword, said Flemish Prime Minister Jambon. “It is a fundamental part of the European green deal and a crucial building block on the path to climate neutrality on the European continent by 2050.” He emphasized the great experience of the Flanders region: “We can rightly call ourselves the European champions in recycling. Around 70 percent of all waste in Flanders is recycled today,” he said in Wuppertal.

Source

dpa-infocom, Kreislaufwirtschaft: NRW will mit Flandern zusammenarbeiten, in Süddeutsche Zeitung, 16-11-2023 , https://www.sueddeutsche.de/wissen/ressourcenschonung-kreislaufwirtschaft-nrw-will-mit-flandern-zusammenarbeiten-dpa.urn-newsml-dpa-com-20090101-231116-99-968622

[1] North Rhine-Westphalia (German: Nordrhein-Westfalen), is a state (Land) in Western Germany. With more than 18 million inhabitants, it is the most populous state in Germany. Apart from the city-states, it is also the most densely populated state in Germany. Covering an area of 34,084 square kilometres, it is the fourth-largest German state by size.

[2] Flanders (Dutch: Vlaanderen) is the Dutch-speaking northern portion of Belgium and one of the communities, regions and language areas of Belgium. The powers of the government of Flanders consist, among others, of economic affairs in the Flemish Region and the community aspects of Flanders life in Brussels, such as Flemish culture and education. Despite accounting for only 45% of Belgium's territory, more than half the population lives there – 6,653,062 (or 57%) out of 11,431,406 Belgian inhabitants. Much of Flanders is agriculturally fertile and densely populated at 483/km2.

[3] Wuppertal is a city in North Rhine-Westphalia, the most populous state of Germany. With a population of approximately 355,000, Wuppertal is the seventh-largest city in North Rhine-Westphalia as well as the 17th-largest city in Germany.

[4] The German federal government is currently developing a Nationale Kreislaufwirtschaftsstrategie (NKWS) (National Circular Economy Strategy). This strategy is intended to bring together goals and measures for circular economy and resource conservation from all relevant strategies. This creates a framework that brings together the federal government's strategies relevant to raw materials policy in such a way that the coalition agreement's goal of absolutely reducing the primary raw material requirement is achieved. The NKWS is intended to be a framework strategy in which the federal government defines goals, fundamental principles and strategic measures that support all strategies relevant to raw materials policy. https://www.bmuv.de/themen/kreislaufwirtschaft/kreislaufwirtschaftsstrategie

[5] On November 16, decision-makers from many different countries and industries will meet in the Historische Stadthalle Wuppertal, Germany. What they all have in common: The circular economy plays a major role for them, making the Circular Valley Forum a very important date. The Forum is the major conference for circular economy in Germany and, in its second year, brings together more than 1,000 guests from business, politics, science and civil society. Together, the guests exchange views on the progress of the transition to a circular economy, they discuss solutions to current challenges and learn about new business ideas. The Forum's program covers topics ranging from renewable energies and business cooperation to incentives and faster approval processes. The conference will end with DemoDay, during which international startups present their best ideas. https://circular-valley.org/news_20231027_large_companies_en

[6] https://circular-valley.org/

[thebadbatch]

Hey hey! Could I get an Echo x Male reader one?! But with prompts 3 & 13 from the romance section?! But could it be more fluffy and platonic..?? Like they’re best friends and reader just wants echo to come back alive and safe?? And reader has a habit of patting echo on his head a lot after successful missions?? And stuff?? And eventually tells echo why?? Because he just wants him safe and stuff?? I’m bad at explaining sorry :(( but thank you!!

A/N: I hope this is okay!!!! I really hope its what you were looking for! Echo is an absolute angel among us. Love you👉🏻👈🏻 (The person requesting is my boyfriend and I made him an Echo simp👀) 

Echo x Male!Reader

Plot: Echo gets sent on a mission disguised as a droid once again. Things don't exactly turn out the way as planned so you have to go and save your best friend. 

Warnings: None! Just a little violence. 

-------------------------

Successful Mission. 

"You do realise the risks of the mission don't you?" Echos stern voice spoke, his hands leaning against the side as his eyes stayed locked upon you. "It's a solo-mission, you've never done one before." You just rolled your eyes and lightly shoved him, he was always logical and followed the rules but this is one of the many times you had come up with a plan he doesn't necessarily agree with.

"Look it'll be fine and I know what i'm doing!" Tech passed you the holo map as you spoke, "I need to start somewhere and this is it." You gave a big smile to Echo before being passed any necessary gear by Hunter who was pretty wary of his brother right now. Tech soon took the holomap from you and re-examining it before speaking.

"Actually I think Echo's correct, there's too much resting on this mission." You instantly turned to face him and glared Practical daggers into his eyes.

"Be very careful with your next words." Echo just grinned and pushed you a little, an ongoing best friend thing between both of you. Tech gathered everybody back around the map, typing into his datapad. 

"It's not that you don't have the skills because you do, but due to Echo being half droid he has a sixty-percent chance of being undetected throughout the entire duration of the mission." Tilting your head you attempted to read over Tech's shoulder at the information he was reading.

"What does being part droid have to do with the mission?" Hunter chimed in, eyes still glued on the holomap before him.

"This facility seems to be lenient to droids, so if Echo disguises as one then he will get in without fuss and retrieve the information we need." Echo just smiled at you with a smug look sprawled across his face.

"I guess that i've won then, huh?" With a light laugh he agreed to Tech's newer plan before moving away to grab the same droid disguise he had used on a previous mission. Tech had since moved to pilot the Marauder and lower us down to the correct coordinates to ensure a hidden entrance for Echo. Softly walking toward him you shared a light smile,

"You'll be safe, yeah?" He simply nodded as he closed the helmet over his face, standing and Prepping any necessities for the mission.

"I'll be fine, you know that." Pushing him gently you both shared a laugh as you walked him to the ramp, ready to say goodbye for the time being.

"Alright then, mission stealer." The ship finally landed causing the ramp to open revealing the misty planet and sand filled floors. Hunter soon appeared again, passing him a certain cdata device.

"Grab that information with the least fuss possible then get the heck out of there." He paused for a moment as the wind began to kick up resulting in the sand swirling in the air. "Remember to contact us if there are any issues, we'll be prepared to get you outta there." With a light nod he moved back and onto the sandy floor, gradually leaving your sight. The ramp soon closed and blocked out any source of light from the planet, Echo now completely on his own until he called for your help. Those were the parts of missions you dreaded, the looming thought of if he'd return or not. The stress was sometimes overbearing but it was going to be alright. He'd make it home safely just as he always does.

Echo had soon arrived, though dust coated his body, and he had made it in un-detected despite all of the storm troopers locking around. Upon arrival he was treated as terribly as the other droids under the Empire's watch but he was granted pretty quick access to the halls and rooms. Walking through the hallways he ensured he was alone before activating the previous holomap Tech had given him and viewed the room he needed to get to for the information. There were rumours that information of well wanted bounty hunters were kept here, something worth thousands of credits which was something the batch desperately needed. Sighing gently he couldn't help but mutter under his breath, he hated everything to do with the Empire so this wasn't exactly the most delightful mission he could be on. Usually he could just blast his way out, but not this time. Walking down and into the correct room, he applied his data chip into the console and began to type away everything Tech had instructed to do so. This was a simple in and out, that's all it was supposed to be. 

"Ah, I didn't realize that we granted access to droids?" A voice spoke, a click of a gun causing Echo to flinch a little. "Now tell me, who might you be?" Sighing gently he pressed the final button and tried to grab the chip as sneakily as possible, turning around and putting his hands into the air. 

"I'm C8-05, I was assigned to ensure systems were running correctly and make any needed repairs." He chuckled lightly, walking toward him. 

"Is that so? I'm sure the admiral would love to hear this, don't you think?" Before you could say a word, the person grabbed Echo and began to push him toward the exit with the blaster trained against him. Clicking his wrist, he sent a rapid signal to the bad batch that he had been captured. This definitely wasn't turning out the way he had expected.

The signal rang through you like a blaster shot to the chest, it had gone wrong somewhere and somehow along the lines. You told him, you asked him if he could handle it but that persistent clone never gave up did he? Grabbing your blaster you turned to face the others, 

"Are we all going in?" Hunter was the first to nod, grabbing his weapon and placing his helmet on him. 

"Tech, stay here and guard the ship - prepare for take off at any given moment and if I say to leave then you leave." He simply nodded and ensured the systems were online and functional before allowing the rest of you to go on your way, Wrecker and Crosshair on alert behind you both. Upon arrival, you simply blasted your way through the wall of storm troopers. They could never blast with any accuracy anyway, so it wasn't really a bother. Crosshair moved forward, blasting those on higher ground until you managed to enter the hallway and rush through it with Wrecker blasting anything and anyone that stood in your way. 

"What are the current coordinates of his position?" You panted whilst crouching behind the wall to avoid the rapid blaster fire. Hunter gazed at his comm device, signalling to Tech for the coordinates. 

"Down the hallway, straight into the fifth cell - it's interrogation so let's move." Nodding quickly, you rushed through the hallways and straight into the correct cell, overly grateful for the batches' cover fire. When you first saw Echos face you couldn't help but smile at your best friend, thrilled to see him okay. That was until you heard a familiar click of a blaster against your head and Echos angry expression. This really wasn't going too well at all, was it? A swift blast made you flinch, but luckily it was Crosshair who had gently pushed past you after his kill equally as glad to see Echo okay. 

"That was pretty awesome Cross!" Wreckers booming laugh interjected the painful and worried silence as you walked over to Echo and stood him up. Patting his head softly you couldn't help but spot his smile. 

"Nice to see you too, y/n." He smiled but you only frowned back at him whilst still patting his head, a pout clearly on your face. "What?" You just shook your head and removed your hand, crossing your arms after returning your blaster against your thigh. 

"I'm upset with you, you got yourself into danger. I need you here with me, what if I woke up one day and you were no longer here?" You paused to allow him to soak in your upset, "You can't keep being reckless." He just smiled gently and pulled you into a hug. 

"I'm alright now, don't panic - I won't go anywhere." He laughed which made you smile and pat his head again once you pulled away. 

"Why do you always pat my head?" He asked, confusion crossing his tone. Sighing softly you kept your gaze trained on Echo as you spoke, 

"Well it's just nice to know you're actually here after our successful missions and knowing that you're safe. Just a habit to confirm that I suppose." He nodded, smiling at your sweet answer. Crosshair soon pushed between you both which made you lightly shove him. 

"Hate to break it up but we should get moving unless you want this to be an unsuccessful mission." You just nodded and laughed at Echos' pout, trailing after the others to return to the Marauder. 

Once you had returned to the attack shuttle and left the rather unpleasant planet things were a lot calmer. Your best friend, Echo, had lingered by you and had patted your head gently. 

"Successful mission right?" He smiled at you which just made you laugh and nod. 

"Another successful mission." You confirmed as you both proceeded to join the other batchers with the information to give back to Cid. Everything had worked out just as intended. 

[the-keeper-of-midnight]

Trying to hit the ask button and it hit unfollow. RIP.

Anyways, question, so with the new WIP, can we ask RO questions? You know, in case I want to know if any of them are the “throw you up against the wall” type.

LMAO 🤣

Here I thought I got a new follower! 😛

Yes you can ask question, the only thing I'm not sure yet is their physical description, but their personality is already kind of set.

Let's start with:

The family lawyer:

They will be hard to impress. They have been in this business for a long time and have seen it all, so for MC to get in their pants or them to get into MC's pants lol... it will take some hard work. I'm planning a scene where MC can have the option to have a pilot fly the family private jet or MC's private jet to Paris just to have coffee and some beignets with the lawyer.

The family lawyer is charming, smart, confident, always speak their mind, and they have an old rescue golden retriever called "Lou"

They are recently divorced (No no ex drama lol) which makes them a little hesitant to go back into a relationship, especially with a rich kid that might not be in it for the long term.

They are not the type to throw MC against the wall, but they are open to some kink experience like bondage.

The Bodyguard:

Very protective of MC, I know it's their job, but they have become a close friend with MC and know how crappy the family can be as they are often around to pick up the pieces. Mind you, they are MC's assistant-bodyguard-PI, they have full access to MC's money and can do stuff on behalf of MC, like sign checks for donations and more.

I'm planning a scene where depending on (where MC's money comes from) there will be a protest and the bodyguard literally will have to protect MC from the angry crowd protesting. Then the scene will cut to MC cleaning up in a bathroom and the bodyguard checking in, making sure that MC is okay.

Bodyguard: "Just say the words and I will take you to the customized underground bunker in (MC country-origin) that I had a group of contractors build for you."

MC: "You what?"

Bodyguard, "Come on now, what kind of bodyguard would I be if I didn't have a contingency plan? Whenever you're tired of this, just say the word."

The bodyguard is an ex-military, now turned into a bodyguard for MC. (Also, MC doesn't know their real name lol)

They are trustworthy, direct, overprotective, very observant, and yesss they have a total crush on MC, It's to the point that they have stopped paying themself (MC doesn't know that) because they are not doing this job for money, they are doing it for MC.

And yes, totally the type to throw MC against the wall (but in the most softer way possible lol)

The Detective

Anger issues, no patience, dislike for rich people, used to be a heavy drinker, but currently going through AA. They have been suspended before for the poor handling of a case, (a little more on that below), and working with MC's family to bring in the killer is sort of the saving grace that will restore their reputation at doing this job. Every interaction with MC will be full of angst and clap back as they will not mince their words on telling MC how the rich are just... spoiled and the worst kind of people 🤣

The detective tries to be a good person in the community by volunteering at a soup kitchen for troubled youth (which MC will have the option to buy out to make it a better place and provide funds for)

They work 14+ hours, have never been married, have no children, every time they meet with MC, they refuse to eat or drink or owe MC anything lol. It's to the point where they will pay for the bill at a restaurant for having a cup of coffee, (they will put $20 on the table) but MC will later tell them that the cup of coffee at this restaurant is around $250 lol which they will literally make a check to MC 😅

Overall they are torn between love and hate for MC and being able to do their job with keeping it professional... they are investigating MC's family so it's a little hard to get into bed with MC, but boi.... when they finally do... haha let's just say they will use the handcuffs.

Totally the type to throw MC against the wall.

(about the case and their despise for rich people. They were working on a case where a rich guy took advantage of a youth, but the rich guy got away with no punishment because they have money, and the Detective went on to beat up the rich guy, taking justice into their own hands. That's why they got suspended and don't like rich people.)

[jayswritings13]

Let's chat: Helluva Boss Episode 7

Non-Spolier: I love this episode so much!

Spoilers are below, so click and read with discretion if you haven't watched episode 7.

Here are some things that stand out to me:

THE ANIMATION. It is just so beautiful and fluid! With every new episode, I can't help but be blown away by the increasing quality of animation. It's just so beautiful! I still can't believe that we are all getting this content for FREE!

M&M! They are so adorable in this episode! The fact the Moxxie planned out this whole big night for him and Millie to celebrate their one-year wedding anniversary is so fucking cute and wholesome!

Also, Moxxie has a lot of guts to sing a love song in the lust ring tbh.

Millie going after Fizz for insulting and interrupting Moxxie's song is just the best! She wanted to hear the end of that song and she was going to, even if it meant taking down Fizz.

Speaking of Fizz, he's amazing! I love the design and how it's similar to Robo Fizz, but just distinct enough to tell the difference between the two.

THE SONG! Ozzie, Fizz, and Verosika's song attacking Moxxie and Blitz is so fucking catchy and good!

VEROSIKA! It's so nice to fucking see her again, even if she's only in the episode for a little bit.

STOLAS!

He's too fucking precious! Someone, please protect him!

When Stolas was talking to Blitz on the phone and asked if Blitz was asking out on a date, I fucking screamed.

He was just so happy and content to be around Blitz.

It's so nice to see Stolas just wanting to hang out with Blitz without trying to get him to fuck him afterwards.

Yeah, I know that in Loo Loo Land, he hung around Blitz, but even there Stolas kept hitting on Blitz, even in front of his own daughter.

So the fact that Blitz turns down Stolas' invitation and goes off a bit on Stolas, hurts, even if I kind of know where Blitz is coming from.

THE ENDING!

Are we not gonna talk about how Blitz really crossed himself out of photos with Moxxie, Millie, Loona, and Barbie Wire around his apartment?

Blitz really thinks that little of himself. Or at least enough to x himself out of photos with his current friends and family.

Also, just the fact that Blitz even keeps all these mementos of his past, no matter how much it hurts, just shows how much he cared for them and how much he really was happy back then.

For example, despite having a nasty breakup with Verosika, he still keeps a photo of them on his phone from when they were dating.

He also keeps photos of him and Fizz from when they were younger, even though he clearly is not a fan of Fizz or the many mass-produced robot clowns around Hell.

The fact that Blitz broke down and cried after just seeing a picture of his family hurts so much. As we've seen in the show, Blitz isn't someone who easily shows his emotions, unless joy and anger.

He's hurting and doesn't know how to go about these feelings and isn't coping with these emotions all that great.

It kinda makes me think back to the line Blitz made about his therapist in one of the earlier episodes. I don't know if that was just a throwaway joke and Blitz isn't actively seeking therapy, but I think that it would help him greatly. But I also think that if Blitz is in therapy, he's probably not truly sharing his past or anything with his therapist. Just based on his reaction to the photos on his phone, I highly doubt that he's openly talking about those memories and relationships with his therapist, especially if it makes him that upset. Blitz is the type of person to bury these feelings deep down and never speak of them.

Also! Tilla?! It's so nice to see her make an appearance, especially since I thought that she was just a scrapped character from the pilot!

Given everything else we know about Blitz into consideration, he's insecure in relationships and clearly has some sort of trust issues stemming from whatever happened in his past. We've seen in various episodes that despite ragging on Moxxie and Millie's "boring, monogamous marriage", he desperately wants someone in his life to do those things with. Or at least love him as much as Moxxie and Millie love each other. I think that's why he inserts himself so much into their relationship(stalking them outside of work and trying to highjack their date at Ozzie's).

We know that he had a relationship with Verosika and it must have been somewhat important to both of them for Verosika to get a tattoo of his name on her arm. We also know that based on the information both Verosika and Blitz said about the breakup, Blitz ran away. I have a feeling that he ran away because things between Verosika and him were getting too intimate and vulnerable, which is something that we know that Blitz doesn't like.

With Stolas, Blitz clearly has some sort of feelings for Stolas that he doesn't want to admit to or work through. It's not as if Stolas doesn't want that kind of relationship, because based on this episode alone, it is crystal clear that he does. I also think that their initial arrangement is only going to prove to make things worse. They met and ended up liking each other because Blitz and Stolas made an arrangement to trade the grimoire for sex. Blitz would rather hide behind that than admit that he is starting to like Stolas.

I can't speak much about Fizz and Blitz's past with him, other than that they seemed to have practically grown up together. It does seem that Fizz does have robotic limbs now and from what we can see in Blitz's picture, Fizz didn't always have robotic limbs. I wonder if this incident that caused Fizz to lose limbs for robotic prosthetics is part of the reason why they separated themselves from each other and why they dislike each other so much. I also can't help but think that might be where Blitz got his white scar on his face. Because after the pictures with Fizz, we see that he has that scar now.

Blitz is someone who's very insecure in relationships. We see most of this with his relationship with Loona. He pushes the whole family and adoptive dad card a lot, especially in episode 3. The fight between Loona and Blitz relieved quite a bit about how Blitz views himself. But, the most telling and by far best evidence of this is the drug trip sequence from episode 6. Blitz sees himself as a clown with a broken heart. He also sees himself surrounded by his previous and current failures. Fizz is his failure in entertainment. Verosika is his failure in love and relationships. Striker is his failure as a businessman and assassin. Moxxie is his failure in platonic relationships and mirrors his failures as a boss. Stolas is his failure in relationships and mirrors Blitz's loss of hope for a real relationship. As we see in the sequence, Blitz's drug trip Stolas has Blitz on a leash and treats him more as a pet and a thing than as an equal in a relationship.

Overall, Blitz is someone who likes to keep others at a distance and when they start to get too close, he runs. He likes to know everything about Loona, Millie, and Moxxie, but hates when they ask things about his personal life(i.e. asking him about his previous relationship with Verosika). He wants intimacy so badly, but is scared of it and pushes others away before they can leave him.

Some things that I'm hoping to see in future episodes:

Verosika completely explaining to Blitz how much he hurt her. I have a feeling that Blitz somewhat knows. But it'd be nice to see Blitz and Verosika have that conversation down the road. It'd be nice to see Blitz own up for his shitty behavior and the way that he's hurt her.

Blitz's past with Fizz. It's clear that Blitz and Fizz go way back based on Blitz's photos, but all we know is that they were closer and now they're not.

Some more exploration of the other rings! I'm dying to the Envy and Sloth ring!

Blitz and Stolas actually discussing their feelings.

More of Stolas actually treating Blitz with respect and using his name. I like that we see how much Stolas is genuinely into Blitz.

Flashback episode! As much as I love Stolas, Moxxie, Millie, and Loona! I think that starting off the next season with some sort of flashback to a young Blitz would be fucking amazing!

Barbie Wire and Blitz meeting after so many years. It seems that Blitz has partially cut off contact with Barbie and Tilla, so seeing him reunite with one of them or both of them would be so amazing! Imagine them also meeting Loona, and finding out that Blitz actually adopted her!

I'm very curious to see what part 2 of the finale is going to involve, besides more Blitz and Stolas.

But I'm also not sure if my heart can take much more of this.

I just wanna give Blitz and Stolas a hug.

[kyber-queen]

to build a home (rex x jedi!reader)

Summary: A slight rewrite of the ‘ARC Troopers’/Invasion of Kamino episode in season 3, where reader is a Jedi general who has worked alongside the 501st in the past. After a dramatic battlefield encounter, the reader confronts questions of the clones’ place in the universe as well as their own burgeoning feelings for a certain clone captain.

Rating: Teen

Word Count: 3k

Warnings: Medical stuff, mentions of drowning, mentions of blasters, rex is awkward and fives is a lil shit, slight suggestive content, a kiss perhaps

Author’s Note: this one’s for the lovely @porgnugget !! this was originally gonna be a quick blurb to pull me out of my writer’s block but oops anyways I hope you enjoy!!!

***

You stared out the bridge port, watching as ships emerged one-by-one from hyperspace to surround a watery-blue planet. With each new starship, your heart sank. This battle wouldn’t be easy, but then again, easy battles were hard to come by these days. You’d been temporarily assigned to the 183rd, and your men were already weary from two months of slugging their way through the outer rim under Separatist fire. They had been eagerly awaiting their return to the capitol, but after your head communications officer received word of an imminent Separatist attack on Kamino, just about every man in your unit was eager to come to the aid of his brothers.

You heard rustling from behind you, followed by the two consecutive thuds of standard-issue boots fixing themselves to the ground. The trooper they belonged to issued you a respectful salute.

“Sir, the Council requests you answer their holocall immediately,”

You had figured your weak excuse for rerouting your unit wouldn’t hold for long.

“Transfer them through,”

As the stern blue faces of the Jedi council materialized before you, you steeled yourself in preparation for their reprimands.

“General, you’ve received explicit orders to return to Coruscant at once. Why, pray tell, is your starship about to breach the Kaminoan atmosphere?”

Master Windu glared down at you expectantly.

“With all due respect, Master, this is the home of the men we fight alongside each day. The 183rd has expressed their commitment to defending this planet, and it is my job as their interim General to honor their desires whenever possible. I and the 183rd will be assisting with the defense of Kamino,”

Windu glanced at Master Unduli over his shoulder. Before another Council member had the chance to speak, the transmission crackled. The Separatists were jamming your signal. Your comms went dark.

You glanced over to the officers piloting the ship. Their hands danced from button to button, working to maintain communication with the ground forces on Kamino. The comm failure had settled it—you were going in.

“Prepare for entry,” you called. A stiff nod from your commander reassured you that the officers had heard you. You turned in a swirl of deep brown robes and made your way to the armory. You had troopers to prepare.

***

You hit the ground from about twenty feet above, using the force to cushion your fall. Confident that the LAATs would find their way into the heart of the battle as planned, you set off on foot for the nearest row of battle droids. As you dodged the seemingly endless stream of blaster fire, you took note of the troopers already facing off against the waves of separatist droids. You recognized the grey armor of the Kamino guard, as well as the deep blue of the 501st. You’d worked alongside the 501st several times before—you searched for a certain familiar face in the crowd.

You were already sure General Skywalker and General Ti were nowhere in sight. You deflected a few blaster bolts while planning your next move. You spotted four troopers aiming for a new line of droids, close to the edge of the platform. One of their brothers lay motionless behind them—they were probably in need of backup. You would make your way over there after you took down a few more rows of droids.

The adrenaline of battle roared through your veins. Your saber swung with a precision you were only able to master with the cacophony of blaster fire rattling in your brain. You heard shouting in the distance, but it didn’t seem to register. All you could focus on was the glide of your saber’s blade through the unforgiving metal skin of the nearest droid.

As you neared the small squadron of troopers, their shouts gained clarity.

“…we’re cutting it close, here. Steady trigger fingers, men,” one of them called.

A glance over your shoulder caused your stomach to flip. The voice belonged to the trooper in the center of the formation—his single pauldron and jaig-marked helmet identifying him in an instant, even through the blaster-fire haze of the battlefield. Rex. A formation of super battle droids closed in on the position his men struggled to hold. You deflected one last blaster bolt before charging in their direction.

You watched what happened next in slow motion.

A droid raised its fist at a trooper in all-white armor. The man didn’t even seem to notice. He raised his blaster, aiming at a droid to his left as his right side remained open for what had the potential to be a deadly blow. The droid swung. Rex dove. He yanked the trooper out of the droid’s trajectory, though the side of his helmet failed to escape its swing. The metal fist landed its blow with a sickening thunk, Rex’s body falling limply at the edge of the platform as his helmet clattered uselessly to the side. His unconscious form slipped. You jumped.

The three other troopers watched in awe as you leapt over a row of battle droids and into the churning Kaminoan waters. You hit its roiling surface feet-first, searching the whitecaps for a glimpse of white plastoid. Clone armor was built to float, right? You took a stroke to your left, dragging yourself through the water urgently when you spotted a glimpse of Rex’s blue pauldron through the waves. You vaguely felt your outer robes drift away, carried off by the tumultuous current. Your hand latched onto the blue plastoid, and you pulled hard. Rex had landed face-down in the water, you realized. You gulped.

Pulling his back to your chest, you kicked backwards as hard as you could in the direction of one of the durasteel supports. You called on the force to be present—you were going to need it if you were going to successfully haul Rex’s unconscious form forty feet upwards. You ducked underwater, shifting your grip on him so he was held in a makeshift fireman’s carry. You secured his body to yours with the force, invisible hands gripping tightly to the arm and leg slung around your shoulders. You grasped the first rungs of the ladder. You climbed.

With aching hands and trembling muscles, you hauled yourself foot-by-foot to the top of the platform. As soon as your fingers curled around the last rung, it was as if all the strength had been sapped from your system. Your chest burned with exertion. You rolled Rex onto his back, crawling beside him as you began your examination.

“He took a hit to the head, fell into the water. I was able to pull him out, but I need a medic,” you explained.

The three troopers stared, shocked. Had you really managed to drag a 200-pound man forty feet into the air from the water?

You glanced up from Rex’s face, noting the lack of movement from the three other men.

“I need a medic, now,” you ordered.

One of the troopers charged off. Satisfied that he’d retrieve someone far more qualified to administer first aid than you, you turned to the man before you. Rex’s face was pallid and sickly-looking. Alarm clawed at your insides. You felt for a pulse, and to your relief, the beat of his heart rose to meet your fingers steadily. His breaths were shallow and inconsistent, though—they sounded to be thick with seawater.

Remembering your training, you pinched his nose closed. You used the index finger of your other hand to tilt his jaw open, before taking a deep breath and sealing your mouth over his. You exhaled, watching carefully as his chest rose in response.

“Wake. Up,” you urged.

His pulse still beat strongly against your fingertips. A good sign, if nothing else.

You leaned down once more, praying to the Maker that he would breathe already. You exhaled, channeling much-needed oxygen into his flooded lungs. Minutes passed. His pulse grew steadier against your fingers.

You administered a final rescue breath, leaping back as if stung when you felt a splutter of air and water against your parted lips. Rex’s eyes fluttered open. He opened his mouth as if to speak, but curled in on himself as a coughing fit overtook him.

Scooping a hand around Rex’s shoulder, you pulled him onto his side, straining against the dead weight of his body. His chest shook as he expelled a sizeable puddle of water from his lungs.

You looked up at the rest of the battle for what felt like the first time in hours. There wasn’t a functioning droid in sight. Several troopers, their armor adorned with 501st blue, stared unabashedly at the scene before them. You looked back down at Rex, your cheeks warm.

“You gave us all quite a scare, there,” you murmured.

He stared at you with wide eyes, his face growing red. Panic jolted through your system. Was he choking?

“Rex? Are you alright?”

He blinked, shaking his head to himself as he hauled himself into a seated position.

“Yeah, General, I’m alright,”

His voice was rough and wavering, almost grating against his throat—from the saltwater, you assumed. You fell silent, focusing just a little too intently on his face.

Sensing that the imminent danger was over, chatter erupted from behind you.

“Some first kiss, eh, Cap’n?”

“Just like a fairy tale,” another trooper added on with a chuckle.

“Always thought you’d be the knight in shining armor, though—the General here dove after you before we even saw you fall,”

Blood rushed to your cheeks. You glanced at Rex out of the corner of your eye before quickly looking away.

“Fives, Hardcase, enough,” Rex grumbled. He made a move to stand up, rising shakily until you slung his arm over your shoulder in support. He stiffened for a moment at the contact before leaning into you slightly.

“Do you know where your medic is?” you questioned quietly.

Rex nodded over to his right. You ushered him through a few stumbling steps before the medic—Kix, you recognized—swooped under Rex’s other arm. Rex turned to you, his lips parting as he mulled over what exactly to say. His brows furrowed, and a new round of flush colored his skin.

“I—thank you, General,” he murmured. His eyes met yours for an instant, just before Kix pulled him toward the Kaminoan medbay.

***

You saw Rex again a few hours later.

A gentle knock sounded against the durasteel wall of your temporary quarters. With a wave of your hand, the door slid open effortlessly.

“Sir, I have your copy of the casualty reports,”

You turned around sharply. Your expression softened. Rex stood in your doorway, extending a stack of flimsi in your direction.

You took it with a quick nod of acknowledgement. Rex lingered in the doorway—you knew he could have easily asked a subordinate to deliver the reports, yet here he was. A wistful half-smile graced your lips—you were glad he came. You had missed him. You motioned for him to take a seat at the small table near the corner of your room, murmuring something about ‘old times’ sake’.

The two of you quickly fell into the routine you had established for yourselves when you worked alongside his unit—after a tough battle, you always seemed to end up together. At first, Rex tended to sit quietly alongside you. He wouldn’t offer much in terms of conversation, but his presence was always strangely comforting as you both silently mourned those you had lost that day. You weren’t quite sure when it happened, but eventually, the two of you began to share little fragments of your lives with each other. Your friendship grew stronger. Just before you were reassigned, you found yourself seeking him out daily—it was almost strange for you to admit just how reliant you had become on your conversations with the Captain.

Rex pulled out a chair and settled himself down.

You talked for an hour—you hadn’t seen him in months. Wartime seemed to stretch out the days until they felt endless, and you were both eager to hear how the other had spent their time. You explained your experiences in command of the 183rd, and Rex discussed his increasing responsibilities as Captain. He actively skirted any discussion of the day’s rather tense events.

“You did well today,” you offered. A couple of the men had quite generously filled you in on their Captain’s heroics after he was carted off by the medic. “I know it mustn’t have been easy, with your home planet in danger,”

“Thank you, but Kamino’s no home to us,” Rex responded. “It’s where my brothers are, and it was them I was protecting. Not Kamino. The Separatists threatened the one thing I had that’s worth defending—my family. It sure wasn’t easy, but it was a necessity,”

You nodded.

“I understand, in a way. I was taken from my parents when I was young, and the Order filled the void their absence left. We aren’t allowed partners or children, so the Order’s all I really have. If they were threatened, I suppose I’d put my life on the line for them, too,”

Rex propped an elbow up onto the table.

“What’s it like?”

You tilted your head in confusion.

“Having the Order as your family?” Rex clarified.

You smiled softly, memories both blissful and bittersweet flooding your mind.

“It’s different, I guess. The Council can be cold, sometimes, but the Order did its best to raise an honorable Jedi. I do my best to remember the lessons my master taught me. The temple was my home for a long time—though not so much anymore. What about you?”

Rex thought for a moment before chuckling to himself.

“The closest thing we clones have to a home is 79’s. Kamino’s got a lot of bad memories attached to it—the longnecks were indifferent to us at best, but most of ‘em just treated us like livestock. At least you feel human at 79’s,”

“What’s it like, there?” you questioned.

“Loud,” Rex grinned. He sobered after a moment, his gaze drifting as he lost himself in thought. “Civvies’ll show up from time to time—makes it feel a bit more normal—but they’re only ever there for the spectacle of it all. Most of ‘em are just there to find someone to spend the night with. I’ve never been able to…” Rex trailed off uncomfortably, directing heavy eye contact towards the back of his hands. “…but some of my vod will. They know they’re being used, so they use ‘em right back. For most of us, there’s no real chance of a family outside our brothers—the Republic’s made sure of that,” 

Disdain tinged Rex’s tone. It was rare for him to express anything other than loyalty to the Republic, but thinking back on the regulations preventing the clones from entering relationships, or having children, or even showing their faces to civilians while on duty, you couldn’t say you blamed him.

You hummed in acknowledgement.

“But it’s not always like that, is it? So meaningless?”

Rex shrugged.

“Most of the time, it is. I’ve only met one brother who’s been able to get out, to build a life and a family outside the GAR. I’m happy for him, sure, but I won’t lie and say it wasn’t hard to see that other path and still follow the one that we clones are meant to follow. I think it’s the hope that’s worst in the end—hoping this blasted war will end, hoping someone other than your vod and a handful of Jedi’ll understand that you’re human. Unless you’re really in the thick of it, unless you really see that we’re flesh and blood, you just don’t care,”

You nodded, reaching across the small table to hold one of Rex’s hands in your own. Your heart ached for him. His expression softened slightly as he looked down at his hand in yours.

“I’m sorry about my brothers, by the way. The teasing today was—”

“It’s alright, Rex. I did what I had to do,”

You instantly regretted your phrasing when Rex’s hand fell slightly slack between your own.

“You saved my life,” he murmured. “I can’t thank you enough,”

He squeezed your hand before gently resting it back on the table. He rose from his seat, glancing at the chrono on his wrist.

“It’s getting late—I should get back to the barracks,”

Your gaze lifted to trace the sturdy lines of his face. His eyes met yours, his expression indiscernible, and in an instant, something clicked. The absence of his hand in yours felt like the loss of a limb.

He took a step towards the door. You stood up from your seat.

“Rex, wait—just…” you trailed off, reaching forward to catch his hand lightly in yours.

A hand—your hand—rose to cup his cheek. His breathing slowed in response. Taking a cautious step forward, you leaned in just close enough to feel the warm exhale from his nose against your cheek. You paused. You would leave it to Rex to close the gap.

After a second that felt like an hour of hesitation, Rex’s lips met yours. Maker, he was soft—yet still steady in his movements. You loved him, you knew it in an instant. Little fragments of each other’s lives had never been enough—you needed him, in his entirety, in every sense of the word.

Just as your thumb traced the sharp line of Rex’s cheekbone—just as Rex realized that he was finally kissing you and you were kissing him back—he pulled away.

His brows knotted in confusion.

“You didn’t mean to—”

“I meant it,”

You realized your hand was still intertwined with Rex’s. You held it like a lifeline.

His eyes—oh, his eyes—glimmered like the flicker of a flame in the dim light of your quarters. He didn’t back away. In that instant, Rex knew that he’d remember this moment for the rest of his numbered days. You meant it.

As his lips met yours for the second time of many, Rex figured there were an awful lot of ways to build a home.

***

Taglist: @peacefulwizardfox @a-lil-perspective @marvel-starwars-nerd @nelba

[gffa]

Hi Lumi, thanks for not turning off anons yet, I've wanted to message you for months but I am crippling shy and couldn't bring myself to do it off-anon, haha. I just wanted to ask, do you read any of the Star Wars comics? If so, can you recommend any? I am new to the fandom after The Mandalorian and I really want more Darth Vader content, if you have any recs I'd be very grateful! I love your blog and literally every piece of content you post! Thanks Lumi!

Hi!  I’m glad that I left anon on just for this then!  I do indeed read a lot of the Star Wars comics, though, I go in fits and starts with them, like a lot of people do. 😂 My recommendations are: - Star Wars 2015 (by Jason Aaron) + Darth Vader 2015 (by Kieron Gillen) - I put these two together because the first 6 or so issues are meant to be read concurrently, they’re events crossing over into each other and showing different aspects from different points of view, and I think it really helps to enrich both stories if you’re alternating between the two for at least six issues. Beyond that, they’re both just really, really solidly good comics!  They’re set just post-ANH, where Luke is discovering more about being a Jedi, where we see Vader discovering the identity of the pilot who took out the Death Star, where Leia is dealing with the political stuff of the galaxy, etc.  They’re probably still some of the best comics that SW has put out, imo! - Darth Vader: Dark Lord of the Sith 2017 (by Charles Soule) - This is the second Darth Vader comic series (so pay attention to who the author is--the current ongoing one is by Greg Pak, which is solidly good, but hasn’t yet hit the same heights as either of these, for me) and it’s set in the aftermath of Revenge of the Sith and this is easily my favorite SW comic.  Soule really digs into the connection between Anakin and Vader, how they are very much the same person, how the first volume of Darth Vader comics is about who Vader is during the OT, the Soule one is about flaying him open to understand just how he cannot face what he’s doing or the other choices he could have made. It’s over the top drama (it’s SO DRAMATIC and I LOVE IT) in a way that really highlights just how awful Anakin has become, that he is crushing even more of himself and you can see him losing still yet more and more, eventually leading to something like the OT version we know from later. - Obi-Wan & Anakin by Charles Soule - This is only five issues, as well as I generally recommend reading it two or three times, because Soule is actually pretty solid about not always spoon-feeding you everything and how the narrative arcs and parallels are more subtle than you’d expect from Star Wars.  The art in this one is stunning, the worldbuilding has a ton of cool details, you get to see bb!Anakin considering leaving the Jedi Order and why he decides to stay, as well as some really fascinating connections to how the Jedi see the galaxy and how Anakin sees it. - Age of Republic by Jody Houser - There are eight issues of this maxi series, each one focusing on a different character, and they’re all really interesting and have some amazing character moments.  My favorites are the Obi-Wan and Anakin ones, there’s a lot you really get to see about their relationship and how supportive it actually is, but all of them have really great looks at the characters they’re focusing on. - Jedi of the Republic: Mace Windu by Matt Owens - Okay, fair warning, the art for this series is not going to be for everyone, there are some seriously wonky panels in it, but the story itself is a great look at Mace’s character.  Both for the bits of backstory about him and for about how the Jedi look at the galaxy, that Mace Windu is such a rich, wonderful character and deserved a look at him like this.  Bonus, Kit Fisto is hilarious in this comic! - Star Wars Adventures by multiple authors - Basically anything in the Adventures line is worth reading!  Most of them are fairly light stuff, not super deep, they’re meant to be cute stories, but I’ve enjoyed all of the ones I’ve read and the prequels ones usually have some moment that’s completely batshit in a way that’s totally true to Star Wars.  They’re kid-focused comics, but really, really adorable ones. - Clone Wars Battle Tales by Michael Moreci - Speaking of dramatic fun, this mini series is just an absolute scream, they’re totally ridiculous in the way that I would read a hundred issues of them.  Plus, you get some really great Jedi moments or Anakin hilarity moments and I’m always down for that, too. - Kanan: The Last Padawan by Greg Weisman - Speaking of gorgeous art!  Never will you see a woman as beautiful as Depa Billaba in this comic, my goodness.  But you also get the story of bb!Caleb going through Order 66 and the trauma of running in the galaxy as a former Padawan who had their Master gunned down in front of them and, boy, did this comic know how to make it hurt.  There’s some cool worldbuilding in there, some amazing looks at the Jedi pre-Order 66, and just a whole lot of feelings. - Shattered Empire by Greg Rucka - This is a four-issue mini-series with a) gorgeous art and b) a whole lot of connective tissue/aftermath for the galaxy post-Return of the Jedi.  Rucka’s writing is solid here and you get a good variety of different characters and the paths they’re starting down and what they’re planning to do next, and it’s just a very solid read. - Poe Dameron by Charles Soule - I really didn’t expect to love this comic as much as I did, but Soule really knocked it out of the park and created a funny, moving, interesting journey for the character.  Even if Poe’s not your usual fave, the work this comic put into being interesting and connecting various things and telling a fun, actiony story really was good. - Age of Rebellion and Age of Resistance are both solid mini-series that I would definitely recommend!  My heart beats for the prequels, so I’m more focused on those, but if you’re interested, these are great looks at individual characters, too. HONORABLE MENTIONS: - The Princess Leia comic by Mark Waid is one I haven’t reread in awhile but I remember greatly enjoying it.  I’ve enjoyed Soule’s current 2020 Star Wars ongoing comic, though, because of the pandemic, it hasn’t had a chance to get a ton of issues out yet. I enjoyed the Darth Maul mini series by Cullen Bunn and, if you wind up liking Aphra from the first Vader comic, she gets her own spin off comic that’s really solid, too!

[tabloidtoc]

Entertainment Weekly, June

Cover: The Pride Issue cover 3 of 4 -- Lena Waithe

Page 3: Contents, other covers featuring Lil Nas X, Mj Rodriguez, Bowen Yang

Page 4: Sound Bites

Page 7: The Cold Open

Page 14: The Must List -- In the Heights

Page 15: Instructions for Dancing by Nicola Yoon, Iceage -- Seek Shelter, Ziwe

Page 18: Trying Q&A with Esther Smith and Rafe Spall, Day Zero by C. Robert Cargill

Page 20: Milestone Returns #0: Infinite Edition, In Treatment

Page 21: Brat: An '80s Story by Andrew McCarthy, The Empty Man

Page 22: My Must List Pride Edition -- Niecy Nash

Page 25: Pride 2021

Page 26: Lil Nas X -- the 22-year-old rapper is still breaking barriers one song and several clapbacks at a time

Page 29: St. Vincent -- the chameleonic singer-songwriter returns with Daddy's Home, an adventurous new album inspired by her father's prison time

Page 30: Olly Alexander -- after a lauded lead turn in It's a Sin, the artist returned with the single Starstruck, from his newly solo musical act Years & Years

* Rostam -- the new solo album from the multi-instrumentalist is rooted in society's fear of change

Page 32: Lena Waithe -- the producer and actor, and the new star of Master of None season 3, wants to create provocative art while elevating voices

Page 35: Josh Thomas -- the Australian creator-star of Everything's Gonna Be Okay is telling his story through his art

Page 36: Meet Your Maker -- Natalie Morales -- the queer star directs her first film(s), the sharp indies Plan B and Language Lessons. Here's what got her behind the camera

Page 37: Joshua Safran -- the man behind Alex Parrish's attitude and Blair Waldorf's one-liners shares how his sexuality helps him empathize with his characters

* Brandon Taylor -- coming off his explosive, best-selling debut novel Real Life, the lauded author is looking toward his second act and beyond

Page 38: Mj Rodriguez -- with the final season of the history-making FX drama Pose, it's leading lady is ready to claim what's hers

Page 41: Colman Domingo -- after decades of stellar work, the scene-stealer is front and center on Euphoria, Fear the Walking Dead, and more

Page 42: Auli'i Cravalho -- the star of Disney's Moana proved how far she'll go to be her authentic self, and is now focused on joy and inclusion

Page 43: Queen Supremes -- the international RuPaul's Drag Race winning class speaks power to the franchise's worldwide domination and looks ahead to a fab future

Page 44: Bowen Yang -- the Saturday Night Live breakout is defining funny for a whole new generation and pushing boundaries in the process

Page 47: Margaret Cho -- the stand-up comedian plays the lesbian pal we all wish we had in the comedy Good on Paper

Page 48: Molly Bernard -- after playing Younger's pansexual publicist, she's ready to explore the full spectrum of queerness

* Josie Totah -- from Disney's Jessie to the Saved by the Bell revival and Amy Poehler's Moxie, the actress has made a name for herself twice and Hollywood's paying attention

Page 49: Calendar -- 10 upcoming LGBTQ projects to get excited for --from eye-opening documentaries to sweeping romances, there is plenty to add to your Pride watch queue

* Pride season's 6 essential reads

Page 51: Summer TV Preview

Page 52: Loki with Tom Hiddleston

Page 53: Panic, The Celebrity Dating Game, Gossip Girl

Page 54: September Mornings, Schmigadoon!, Masters of the Universe: Revelation, Ted Lasso

Page 55: Heels, The Good Fight

Page 56: Power Book III: Raising Kanan

Page 57: Sweet Tooth, Blindspotting, Kevin Can F**k Himself, Mr. Corman

Page 58: We Are Lady Parts, Love Victor, Sex/Life, Turner & Hooch

Page 59: Physical, Hit & Run, American Rust

Page 60: Bosch, Marvel Studios' What If...?, Lisey's Story -- Q&A with Julianne Moore

Page 61: Calendar

Page 62: The Fast and the Furious oral history -- how did a little movie about underground racing speed off to become one of the most profitable franchises in history? The cast and crew reminisce about 20 years of Fast, one quarter-mile at a time

Page 68: News + Reviews -- Nominate Them, You Cowards -- on July 13, the Academy of Television Arts & Sciences will announce the 2021 Emmy nominees. Here are some standout shows and performances we insist not be overlooked

Page 72: Movies -- Summer Star -- taking the lead in blockbusters A Quiet Place II and Jungle Cruise, Emily Blunt is the face of Hollywood's comeback summer

Page 74: Making the Scene -- Army of the Dead -- Zack Snyder explains how he bet big on destroying Las Vegas in his bloody zombie heist movie

Page 75: Oxygen, The Woman in the Window -- the journey from smash best-seller to star-studded streaming thriller was long and fittingly bizarre

Page 76: Meet the Fab G -- director Kay Cannon on how Billy Porter found a fresh, inclusive take on the fairy godmother in the new Cinderella

Page 79: My Favorite Shot Pride Edition -- Sebastian Lelio, A Fantastic Woman -- the Chilean director revisits a gravity-defying sequence in his groundbreaking Oscar-winning drama

Page 80: TV -- The Underground Railroad

Page 81: The Upshaws

Page 82: Oral History -- in 2011, Teen Wolf premiered on MTV. Ten years later, we look back at the pilot episode that introduced us to Scott, Stiles and the werewolves of Beacon Hills -- Jeff Davis, Tyler Posey, Russell Mulgahy, Dylan O'Brien, Crystal Reed

Page 84: What to Watch

Page 86: Music -- Miranda Lambert Q&A -- for The Marfa Tapes, Lambert decamped to the quiet artsy town in West Texas and recorded songs around a campfire. She talks to EW about the album and being an introverted superstar

Page 88: Ear Kandi -- Xscape member and current Real Housewives of Atlanta star Kandi Burruss reflects on the hits she's made for Destiny's Child, *NSYNC, TLC and more

Page 89: The Black Keys

Page 90: Books -- summer books special -- a comedy of eras -- in a sharp new essay collection, The Wreckage of My Presence, actor Casey Wilson weaves big feelings into even bigger laughs

Page 92: Poetic Justice -- prolific romance writer and political powerhouse Stacey Abrams bookend an incredible year with more thrills, this time in her first novel not written under her pen name Selena Montgomery

Page 93: Author Spotlight -- Silvia Moreno-Garcia -- Velvet Was the Night

Page 94: Fatal Attraction -- inside the intoxicating depravity of Animal, Lisa Taddeo's meaty follow-up to Three Women

Page 95: Critic's Pick -- The Great Mistake by Jonathan Lee

Page 96: Critic's Pick -- In the Country of Others by Leila Slimani

Page 97: The Conversation -- Taylor Jenkins Reid and Paula Hawkins -- the names behind Daisy Jones & the Six and The Girl on the Train are coming for your beach tote

Page 98: Q&A with Zakiya Dalila Harris -- The Other Black Girl, former book editor Zakiya Dalila Harris' genre-bending evisceration of workplace privilege, is set to become the debut of the summer

Page 99: Critic's Pick -- Afterparties by Anthony Veasna So

Page 101: Q&A with Billie Eilish -- in between winning Grammys and releasing her sophomore album, the pop star is publishing her first (self-titled) book, a collection of never-before-seen pics of her early life on the road

Page 103: Parental Guidance -- your crib sheet on the best entertainment for kids from toddlers to tweens

* Q&A with Gabrielle Union-Wade and Dwyane Wade -- the actress and her NBA legend husband, bring it on with their new children's book Shady Baby

Page 112: The Bullseye

[aquagirl1978]

Welcome back for week three of our review of Antares Fairchild. This set was a hot one, certainly the steamiest one so far. Let's get started!

#1 - Favorite line in set

aliboo: Sometimes, you hit a point in your life where you realize the only explanation for your choices is "it seemed like a good idea at the time." - Relatable, MC.

aqua: "I was planning on seducing you, actually." - I don't think anyone was expecting *that*!

violet: "If you value your life, be somewhere else."

#2 - Favorite scene/moment

aliboo: Let Antares seduce you (first heart scene in the set). How very dare he do THAT! Very Hot scene piling on the sexual tension, and was just.. unexpected. But with his ego, it wasn't out of place either!

aqua: MC telling Antares she was in his room to seduce him, his reaction and everything after - so hot! He doesn't even touch her - I can't wait to see the sparks fly when he finally does touch her.

violet: When she ran back into the building to see if he was ok. Putting all their banter and one-up manship aside, her immediate instinct was to check on him. I loved that as it speaks to so much of what is going on underneath the surface.

#3 - Did you buy hearts? Which scene(s)? Worth it?

aliboo: I got all of them. As always, they were all worth it. I have to say the first heart scene was my fav for obvious reasons, which is that no one is immune to Antares' seduction.

aqua: Of course I bought all of them! The cg is paywalled behind the last heart scene, so if you collect the cgs, that's the one to get. They're all really great though. *whispers* The first one tho....

violet: I got all of them and they were truly worth it, but the first one is a masterclass in how to make a scene sexy without the characters even touching.

#4 - Standout character

aliboo: Antares. Alongside 'the only scene I've talked about so far' ("If I set out to seduce you, Ms. Revati... you would be mine." - swoons), my other fav moments were basically anytime he behaved like a little shit, including (1) His antics when they reach Omia - technically not going back on his word, clever. (2) His annoyance and wounded pride at getting caught up in the blast and then whiplash as he waltzes off with Psyri. (3) "If you value your life, be somewhere else." to the spaceport worker. Brutal.

aqua: Antares, always Antares. He's such a dominant presence throughout these sets - he doesn't even need to touch MC to get certain reactions out of her. And he was so brutal this week for not just restraining MC and keeping her on his ship for "three galactic standard hours", but also later when he ran off with Psyri, leaving MC in the dust. I can just see that cape flapping in the wind during all these antics.

violet: Antares for me. When he listens to what MC has to say about her family and why she does the job she does, the respect he showed her in that moment, small as it may have been. I love seeing the cracks in his "Captain Fairchild" persona. Cracks created by the MC, however unwittingly.

#5 - Thoughts on the CG?

aliboo: I love it! I'm still pissed that I thought it was going to be something else though haha.

aqua: I didn't know what to think when I saw the preview, but was quite pleased with the cg. My only issue is - why only one eye? Why???

violet: It was a different angle of the backed up against the wall position we have seen in other CGs and I liked it. It really made you feel his presence.

#6 - Fave screenshot

aliboo:

aqua:

violet:

#7 - Secondary character shining moment.

aliboo: MC - "I was planning on seducing you, actually" - amazing! And her absolute boldness throughout (especially if you play the heart scenes!)

aqua: Let's be real - this is not a route filled with tons of secondary characters. It is very Antares x MC heavy. That said, my vote goes for Psyri for continuing to be a complete mystery to everyone. And for creating that special failsafe. it did lead to the great scene later between our two leads, but did ya have to drop an entire building on Antares?

violet: Keda. She's proven time and again what a good friend she is to MC. And holy hell is she tal.

#8 - Thought on the villain.

aliboo: The Union will be the common enemy and we haven't seen too much of them YET. It was no surprise that they cancelled MCs contract though.

aqua: Becoming clear that the Union will be the villain. Really did not like that officer ending MC's contract like that. Tho now she has no reason not to side with Antares.

violet: The UNION. I happen to agree with a certain grumpy pilot when he says the Union sucks.

#9 - Most OMG scene?

aliboo: Just one? I'll choose the moment they reach Omia and Antares follows his agreement with MC to the letter, meaning that as soon as they were no longer working together, he could do what he wanted - ie. detain her. It was another moment I hadn't predicted, but the OMG scenes after that were less of a shock as I was starting to expect his Little Shit behaviours.

aqua: When Psyri activated her failsafe, and dropped an entire building on Antares. His poor cape didn't quite survive that moment. Rip billowing cape.

violet: When MC says "I was trying to seduce you." I think we all went...wait, WHAT? Girl of all the things you could have said. Although it did lead into that heart scene so I'm not mad at all.

#10 - Any predictions for next week?

aliboo: Urgh, I'm terrible at this! Antares to the rescue! He will rescue MC from her current pickle and find out that she is in much debt, has no contract and no credits to send to her parents. And then he will Hire her.. to be his prisoner / assistant / whatever his latest kink is.

aqua: Whatever his latest kink is? 😂 Hmm...I'm kinda terrible at this too, so I'm sure this is all wrong. The Union figured out MC was still tracking Psyri and have come directly for her. So it's their gunshots aiming at MC. Of course, it would be really amazing if it was the Starship Promise crew popping up - or even just Orion. Speaking of Orion....no direct mention of him this season so far.

violet: She and Antares will join forced against the Union and work together to find the downed ship. And I HOPE there will be more banter. And more shirtless Antares. And more mini CGs of other Antares body parts cause Voltage is feeling generous towards us right now.

[ms-demeanor]

I wouldn't be so annoyed with the "Cpt Marvel was an ad for the air Force" if I had seen more "Captain America was totally cool with letting the Army experiment on him as a recruitment tool". I don't say this to ask you to 'prove' that you said the same about Steve, and as I generally agree with your stances I'm not trying to start a fight, but that's a peeve of mine and I'd like to air it

I’ve heard people say this a few times - “Captain Marvel is only getting criticized like this because it’s a movie about a woman; why didn’t the Captain America movies get treated like this” (not that I think that’s what you’re saying specifically and I get that this is a personal pet peeve of yours but I’m jumping off of it to ramble a bit) and I think that’s a false equivalence.

The Captain America movies are positive about the Army but there wasn’t a direct ad created by the army to recruit chronically ill people to get experimented on - there *WAS* an ad created by the air force to run before showings of Captain Marvel to recruit women. When I’m saying “the US air force used Captain Marvel as a vehicle for recruitment advertising” I’m being very literal.

Captain America did NOT have a custom ad that ran before screenings featuring men bulking up to join the army. The US air force made an ad showing women who DID parallel Captain Marvel’s story.

That and military publications don’t write glowing articles about how amazing Captain America was as a recruitment tool - they definitely do about Captain Marvel

And, FUCK, I want to quote this ENTIRE FUCKING ARTICLE to show exactly how much the military views Captain Marvel as a recruiting tool, but here’s the last paragraph:

The lesson service branches must learn from Captain Marvel is not that there is an unbridgeable disconnect between modern youth and military service, nor that they must lean-in to the soft-power missions. The women of Generation Z and members of the military may share a fierce selflessness and commitment to bettering our nation, and it is in this space that military branches can speak to women as the bad asses they already are.

Girl Boss!

It’s also got a bit about Captain America -

In this cultural moment, what set Captain America, the character, apart was that his allegiance was not to America: the nation, but to America: the idea. Captain America demonstrated American exceptionalism, but it framed it in a way that could make sense to youth of the time: you can be proud to be an American because Americans as a people are good and want the world to be better. America stands for change and hope.

In this way, Captain America is both a wry critique of old patriotism and a glimpse of how millennials were starting to see their role as Americans.

But we’re not recruiting millennials anymore. We’re recruiting the subsequent generation, one so new that there isn’t a name for them yet. They are our current high school and college students, and there is one thing about them we know to be true: They’re like millennials, but worse.

Feel free to call the Captain America movies recruitment tools. They are. So are the Iron Man movies. But they are recruiting tools in the general sense that all movies featuring the military are recruiting tools - Wow, Explosion Good; Military Tough; Much Patriotism; Many War.

Captain Marvel is much more pointed in the way that it features a specific role in a specific branch AND was paired with a commercial that said “here’s how you can be exactly like Captain Marvel and these other very cool Lady Fighter pilots.”

Actually you know what I have to quote the above article one more time:

It is also for this reason that the acknowledgement of sexism described in PART I is important—it is a reality, and it is harmful to pretend it isn’t when very real women can raise their hand and speak from their experiences. But the movie is also very clever in how they portray the systemic and institutional sexism—the culprits are peers, bad apples, not institutional leaders, and that is what is going to help reframe the history of systemic sexism in the military as an opportunity for the future force.

That is. That is a hell of a thing. It’s not a recruiting thing, per se, but it is a thing.

BY THE WAY Jack Saint has a REALLY GOOD video about Great Man Theory and the Ideology of the MCU:

The MCU has shit on a lot of what I like about Marvel Comics and I particularly dislike that they landed on the moral of “I have successfully privatized world peace” and “surveillance by a technocratic elite is a good thing, actually;” I think that Steve serves as a foil to that in the films while Carol is on the sidelines of that issue.

To be fair, Carol has only had one movie so far while Steve has had three and the “I’m going to do a treason” didn’t REALLY become a theme for him until his third movie.

Again, don’t get me wrong, Captain America is totally a recruiting tool - it’s why when Steve goes Nomad we don’t get the whole “I renounce my country” speech from the comics - but Captain America didn’t get anywhere near the support, access, and customized synergistic recruiting ads that Captain Marvel did.

I don’t think it’s helpful to look at a custom-made ad featuring people who look like the main character of a film doing the thing that the main character of the film does that ran before showings of the film and compare that to a movie in which a dude joins the military by letting them make him superhuman and say “these are the same.” The military isn’t trying to get people to sign up to get experimented on, they are very much trying to get people to sign up to fly fighter jets and drones.

Also just for the record all of these characters are a million times cooler and more interesting in the comics and goddamnit I *like* seeing superheros struggling with addiction and failed relationships and being petty and human and the MCU as a whole, is bad and you shouldn’t spend money on it.

(Take all of this with a grain of “I haven’t voluntarily watched a movie from the MCU since 2010 and I don’t plan to start now.” I like reading MCU meta and fanfic but the movies look fucking *terrible*)

[siennahrobek]

Working with Obi-Wan Kenobi’s grand padawan was…different. He had heard a lot about Skywalker and Kenobi as a team through many forms – propaganda, gossip, billboards, reports, victories, losses, campaigns. They were a popular topic. They seemed to pull off some of the most insane mission parameters and come out alive from fighting varying horrifying villains and Separatists, darksiders and Sith.

Feemor quickly figured out Ahsoka was quite a bit like Anakin Skywalker. Which sounded awful, now, knowing what he had done and what he had become, but he had meant it in a better way. At least, nothing that extreme. She was fast paced and protective with a strong sense of justice and a decent moral compass. She didn’t seem to understand some of the intricacies of governments, politics and the war effort, she cared about the people. She seemed to go back and forth between cynicism and belief in people. It was an interesting combination.

He wondered if Obi-Wan could help her smooth out some of those more high-strung tendencies.

Then again, Feemor didn’t really know Obi-Wan very well either.

Feemor and Ahsoka spent most of the evacuation helping groups of people and shuttling themselves back and forth with supplies. A few recovering 501st and a of couple Coruscant Guard had joined them on one of the trips. They had lost Rex quickly into the evacuation, before even their first trip back to Ahsoka’s ship. Luckily Feemor had spotted what had happened with him and had to quickly explain to a near panicking Ahsoka that he had simply helped a padawan carry a trooper to the medical bay for surgery when she noticed his absence. He was probably still there.

***

“Are you going to take a shuttle to Obi-Wan’s venator?” Feemor asked quietly. It was their first trip back to the 332nd venator, their shuttle piled full of supplies, clothes and other resources. A few soldiers came along with them, although huddled in the back with one another. Some of them were a little too scared to be hanging around Jedi at this point. It wouldn’t be long before everyone was packed onto the ships of Obi-Wan’s forces, ready to flee away from their brainwashed friends and the Sith wanting them dead for no other reason than existing.

“I want to,” Ahsoka replied after a hesitation. She didn’t look at him. She was piloting, Feemor had gotten the impression she wouldn’t have led him pilot, even if he had tried. “I want to see him. I want him to tell me everything is going to be okay. I have so many questions. I want him to have the answers,” she paused and glanced down. “I know he won’t.”

Feemor didn’t reply, just kept his eyes on her, soft and understanding. What did one say to that?

Ahsoka just looked up into the stars once again, determined driven into her expression. “But I should stay with the 332nd. They have been burned enough by the jedi.”

He wasn’t sure what that meant exactly, as it seemed that the 332nd, although betrayed by Skywalker by brainwashing their brothers, had been, at the very least, kept away from that horrible end. Skywalker was only one jedi. What other jedi could they have been burned by?

“Will you?” her voice was quiet and a bit sudden after the stretched silence.

“Maybe,” Feemor shrugged. “Even if I don’t the first time, it isn’t a long trip to Kamino. I need to talk to him, at some point, but I don’t think there will be a good time any moment soon,” he admitted.

The young togruta glanced at him. “You haven’t taken the moment in, what? Thirty years? You never know when you will lose the chance forever. Do it quickly, Master. Before it is too late and one of you is gone.”

***

Rex jogged up to them and silently helped pack up their shuttle. He hadn’t said a word until Feemor had tried to strike up a conversation on the ride over to the 332ndship but Rex kept his answers to a bare minimum, mostly one-word answers. His hands were nearly shaking.

“I saw General Kenobi,” Rex barely muttered out while in the cockpit with Ahsoka and Feemor. The latter figured he was probably talking with her. “He seemed mostly uninjured. It was a little hard to tell because his robes were so dirty. He was wearing his old armor.”

It was the most Feemor had heard Rex speak at that point.

“Is that so. What did you talk about?” Ahsoka’s voice was almost disconnected, like she was talking through a machine. She didn’t sound interested even though Feemor was fairly certain she was.

She didn’t meet his eyes but that didn’t stop the captain from staring at her. He chose his words carefully. “Feelings, mostly.”

“Did you talk about… you know…”

Rex paused and looked away. “Some. You should probably talk about it with him yourself. I think it would do both of you some good.”

Feemor suspected they could make one more trip after this before the evacuation was complete. The end of the conversation was clear.

***

They had done several trips back and forth but this last one, was alone with only supplies in their cargo bay. They had brought up a few clones but not many, most had wanted to stay with the rest of the 501st, many of which still recovering from short surgeries.

He didn’t know how the conversation came up, but he knew why. Ahsoka cared a lot about the clones, especially those under her command. It hurt her, he imagined, watching the ones she worked personally with be brainwashed by her former master. Perhaps it was that reason that she latched onto them instead of the betrayal of her old master. Feemor had his only issues with his teacher, but they paled in comparison to hers. His master just threw him away and got himself killed by a Sith. Hers became one.

She talked, rather ranted, about the unfairness of what was happening with her friends. With Commander Appo and all of the other 501st members that she cared so much about. She talked about the blindness and cowardice of the jedi, just leaving and abandoning them to the fate of a droid, to be used by the Empire for whatever means.

Feemor tried to gently remind her that the jedi were trying to save the helpless and their children. That the jedi do not currently have the numbers or the resources or a plan to rescue them all at this time.

“The jedi will come back for them,” he promised at the end, quiet and gentle. He knew it to be true, the Jedi would come back for the clones, for anyone who needed them. It was a part of their identity, to help those who couldn’t help themselves. But it was even more poignant for the clones, he knew. The Jedi would itch to help them, unwilling to leave their friends to such a fate.

“They didn’t for me.”

Her voice was strained and angry but so quiet, Feemor nearly doesn’t hear her. He understands abandonment. His own master had repudiated for something that not only wasn’t Feemor’s fault, but also something he never had any control over. It never had anything to do with him specifically, it was Xanatos who had ruined it all. And Qui-Gon’s love for Xanatos had just torn the older master apart even more.

He did not remind her that the Jedi did ask her to return.

She was just upset and mixing her feelings, much like any teenager who had been wronged, would.

“They’re just trying to survive, Ahsoka,” Feemor replied, instead. “We cannot help the clones if we are all dead.”

Ahsoka had stopped talking and stared out at the venators they passed, peacefully and ignorantly sweeping the planet, orbiting in a protective barrier, waiting for an attack that would probably never come. Her gaze had settled on one, just a little out of the way, further than the others out in the open space before she turned the controls, sharply curving them towards the ship, instead of away from it.

“Ahsoka, what are you doing?” Feemor asked warily.

The teenager didn’t answer. Instead, she turned the ship even tighter and then straightened out towards the unfamiliar venator.

“Ahsoka!” he yelped. “That is not the ship we want!”

She continued to hold her silence and no matter what Feemor says or does, she continues to fly their shuttle right toward the docking area of the larger venator. She even used the Force to push him nearly out of the chair when he tried to stop her.

“You are going to get us killed,” he hissed. “I’m sure plenty, if not all, of the Coruscant Guards have had their chips activated!”

Swallowing hand, she slowed down, now far too close to turn back now, clicking in comm codes and landing on the outskirts of the bay with a heavy thunk. The Jedi master stared at her, eyes wide.

“We need to get out of here,” he tried again but the togruta female just stood, stone faced and determined. “The rest of the Jedi are going to be leaving soon and we need to be with the 332nd so we can keep up with them.”

“We are going to take this ship,” Ahsoka announced, her tone giving no room for debate. She stood up and grabbed her sabers, marching away. Feemor sighed, running his hands along his face. This was going to be something else.

The clones, so engrossed in their chip activation, had not even noticed the unscheduled landing of an unfamiliar shuttle.

It didn’t stop Feemor from hesitating when they snuck off the ship. As they snuck down the ramp, out of sight, he glanced around. A partially crashed into the wall was a Jedi Delta-7 Interceptor, complete with a dead jedi inside, the bubble that usually encased them in the cockpit broken apart in shards. Neither of them recognized her but she was easily identified as a jedi, even from a distance. She had been shot several times; her chest riddled with blaster shots. Her gorget armor piece had helped her survive, at least until she had got to her ship, but she hadn’t gotten any farther. The engine had been shot out. Feemor hoped she died on impact; he didn’t know if her killers would have had granted her a quick death from bleeding out.

Ahsoka snarled. Feemor looked and felt sick.

A couple of the nonclone natborn officers were laughing on the balcony. The hum and although dulling light were easily distinguishable and identifiable as a lightsaber, whirling and flying through the air. They had taken her lightsaber. They had taken it and were playing with it like it was some kind of toy.

“It’s not even that they don’t care,” Ahsoka choked out, nearly in tears. “They are happy,they are glad, we are being killed off.”

Feemor noticed her use of the term we. It continued.

“We are being killed and they are celebrating…they love that we are dying, leaving our bodies to rot without care, where we are cut down. Distracting us, our ways, playing with part of our souls like children while they murder our children.”

She just cried silently.

“Come on, Ahsoka. Let’s find a place to hide and make a plan.”

***

The two of them snuck through the halls, barely keeping out of sight of the clones. With nothing in their minds, it was easy to keep their attention away. They didn’t want to see anyone – they didn’t see anyone so using a brief signal in the Force to look away was easy to the both of them.

They hid in a few closets, taking down several key troopers throughout some of the ship during their way to the bridge, stripping them of weapons and communications and giving them heavy sleep suggestions. They would be out for hours at the very least. They had talked about a plan, to take the bridge and use the natborn officers to take over the ship. Lock them all in the bridge, including Feemor and Ahsoka, which would keep the clones out but still safe. The plan hadn’t gotten much further than that.

Nearing the bridge, Feemor had pulled Ahsoka into a supply closet as several officers had passed by. To their infinite luck, the officers had stopped nearby to speak to one another, forcing the two jedi to stay in the closet until they were done with their conversation and passed out of sight.

“Master Obi-Wan will like you,” Ahsoka declared, confidently. Her voice was hushed and subdued, but it did nothing to take away from the sentiment.

“You think so?” A welcome topic for Feemor, to be sure.

“I dragged you into something random and unexpected and dangerous. You tried to talk me out of it but then, eventually, just went with it and helped me,” Ahsoka explained. “Just trust me on this one.”

***

“I kind of prefer them this way,” one of the officers noted, watching as lines of clone troopers marched, perfect and silent, down the hall. “They don’t talk, pretending to be men. They just do what they are told.”

“Without complaint,” another snickered, giving one of the clones a shove. The man sprawled to the ground, helmet smashing into the floor. He just got up and kept walking again. No one had even flinched.

Both of the officers laughed.

Ahsoka nearly burst out from their hiding place around the corner, but Feemor held her back. They were close but they couldn’t give away their position yet. It would surely get them killed.

He pulled her away, towards the bridge. They were so close.

As they got nearer, Feemor and Ahsoka dipped into an empty room to prepare. “Three guards, all clones,” Feemor reported, taking a glance in the direction. He pulled back as Ahsoka’s lightsaber snapped in her hands, unignited.

“I’m faster,” Ahsoka noted. It was true of course, if only because she was so much younger than him, but he was rather amused at her assumption of his lack of speed. He wasn’t lacking, as he had noted to himself, the only thing she had on him in terms of that was youth. “You handle the guards with sleep suggestions, and I’ll start clearing a path in the bridge.”

Feemor actually found it a tad entertaining and a bit insulting as well that she had to clarify the sleep suggestion part, as if she thought he was going to purposefully murder a couple of brainwashed clones. “We need some of them alive, Ahsoka,” he shot back.

She turned to stare at him momentarily. “Yeah. Yeah. I know.”

Taking the bridge wasn’t difficult. They didn’t see it coming and were completely unprepared for an assault by two jedi. Ahsoka had taken out the communications officer first – all of the bridge had been quickly replaced with natborns, unsurprisingly – and had nearly taken off his limbs. In the end, it hadn’t mattered. He was dead.

A few of the officers did end up dead, mostly due to Feemor and Ahsoka reflecting blaster bolts back at them. The rest had surrendered fairly quickly. Upon ordering communications throughout the ship to be blocked, Ahsoka worked on the technology part of the controls of the ship, while Feemor cuffed and herded their hostages away from said controls.

“Alright,” Feemor smiled, something wicked and cold. “This is how things are going to go. We are the leaders on the ship now. You will stay here for the duration of your stay. You will not communicate with anyone – not that you could anyways – and if you somehow do, upon someone figuring out what has happened because of it, bad things will happen. You will not let any of the clones on the bridge or tell them that we are here. Do you understand the rules?”

Everyone was rather hesitant, shooting him horrible looks but they nodded.

“Fantastic. Then, we can move along,” he turned and walked towards Ahsoka, keeping a blatant eye on their prisoners.

“Ah, Ahsoka?” he questioned. “This was great and all but now we have at least hundreds of brainwashed clones aboard. What are we going to be doing with them?”

Ahsoka just shrugged. “For now, nothing.”

Ahsoka walked towards the holotable in the middle of the bridge, Feemor trailing behind her uncertainly. She clicked in a comm code and Feemor shifted uncomfortably on the other side of the table. He couldn’t believe they had taken the ship. Keeping it, that was going to be another story. He had no idea what she had in mind; what she was going to do with this entire ship full of brainwashed clones. It wasn’t like the two of them could just take them down or something.

Jesse and Echo, if Feemor remembered correctly, popped up on the table in the blue holoform. “Commander!” Echo greeted, easily. “We were expecting you back hours ago! Is everything okay?”

“Just fine, Echo,” Ahsoka nodded, seriously. “Any word on General Kenobi’s ships and the other Jedi around?”

“Leaving quite soon sir,” Jesse responded this time. “The last couple of ships have left the planet. They will be leaving for Kamino promptly. Rex said he is going to stay with the… with the rest of the 501st, Appo isn’t doing so well.”

“We actually suggested it,” Echo butted in. The look on their faces were pained and mournful. Jesse struggled to speak again but once he started, his voice got stronger.

“What about you, where are you?”

“When are you coming?”

Ahsoka paused and took a deep breath. Feemor watched, carefully. “You go on to Kamino without us, boys,” she started.

The other two began to protest, rather vehemently. “Never sir!”

“You really think we would leave without you?”

Ahsoka nearly let out a laugh but settled for a smirk. “Don’t worry. I will meet you on our next destination. Master Feemor and I…. well, we found ourselves another ride.

[cooltrainererika]

A Star Wars Noob’s ideas for fixing the Disney sequels

Okay so just to get this out there, because it won’t leave my mind.

So I’ve been binging on SW lately and the sequels only annoy me more and more by the day. So just wanted to throw my character ideas out into the world. Focusing on characters because I like writing characters way more than plot. Hopefully if I ever actually write this thing, or even somehow pitch it to someone with the right connections to animate it with the actors as voice actors, this wouldn’t have gone viral. But since no one looks at my blog it probably won’t lol. Hopefully.

But just in case, I’ll say that this will probably contain spoilers for a story which may or may not exist by the time you read this.

I’ve deliberately been trying to avoid as much emotional spoilers and normal spoilers as I can before the sequels despite the temptation, so sorry if some stuff is a bit off. Augh I hope I can get the time to watch the full OT and PT soon. I was too tired from hiking when I watched SW4 and I now really wish my dad didn’t show me when I was half-asleep.

Rey: Rainbow of possibilities; Cynical Scavenger, Adventure-seeking Audience Surtogate Geek, or Lawful Good to the core Paladin Padawan with a personal grudge, and may be descended from a family line, maybe not, but currently most likely a Skywalker by blood. Story and other character arcs change dramatically depending on which route chosen.

Finn: Stoic soldier man learns power of friendship, finds meaning of life, causes Stormtrooper mutiny, probably becomes a Jedi and second main character and hooks up with Rey. “What‘s a joke?”. Awkward dork and stunted socially but doing his best. May instinctively find it hard to disobey orders. He may be the one wanting to find his family; but that’s dropped soon enough to focus on what’s ahead. 

(Alternatively: Proud warrior guy who acts like a stereotypical North Korean soldier who finds himself outside the First Order, learns power of friendship etc. The rest is the same)

Poe Dameron: What we Japanese people call The Aniki. The funny charismatic ace pilot who keeps everyone sane, overall bro. Wholesome but a bit rough, that guy you would want to share a beer with. But within that easygoing nature burns a hotblooded, determined, dutiful streak, and an even stronger snarky streak. The one with the social skills. Loves his droid like his son though Cynical!Rey and Finn find that initially kind of stupid/strange. 

Kylo Ren/Ben Solo: Appears to be yet another quietly imposing Star Wars villain with added edgelord factor, but actually a mentally unstable, borderline yandere berserker of a man crushed under the weight of a legacy, with a horrifying inferiority complex, identity issues, and an unhealthy obsession with familial honor, constantly stuck between Dark and Light. Despite his high rank, basically the First Order’s attack dog. Usually has the emotional maturity of a 16-year-old, if not younger. If anyone is, he’s the damsel in distress of this story.

Luke Skywalker: Cuddly sunshine headmaster sage doing his best, has been on many adventures before that are hidden ads to future Lucasfilm projects. May have gone to search for answers as to what is causing recent events, or is still present at the beginning. May survive at the end. He could be anywhere from kind of jaded but at his core still that sweet optimist, to Basically Uncle Iroh, to can-literally-summon-Porgs-by-whistling/Space Sage Mr. Rogers.

Han Solo: General of the Republic Armed Forces or courier who decided military life just wasn’t for him and now delivers important messages through still unstable areas of the New Republic, a war hero, and a dad doing his best. Wants to hold hope but may have at least outwardly given up on Ben, with Poe filling in the void. Has gone clean from his life of crime and still married 30+ years strong with Leia. He would be the one who is the closest to Poe if he’s still in the military and Leia is a Jedi, with Poe being seen as his likely successor. He might die at the end of 8? Maybe Hamill and Carrie would somehow talk him into sticking around past 7? He might still die in 7?

(Side note: I wish we could have seen Old Harrison Ford in a military casual coat-cape. He would have looked awesome in it. I mean no one would really complain that he plays fast and loose with the dress code if there even is one, he’s Han freakin’ Solo and he gives no f*cks.)

Leia Organa-Solo: Preferably a Jedi Knight, leader while he’s away if he’s away as well as their tactician, or senator considering her personality; maybe have basically what Colin Trevorrow planned for her (I mean… why not just use CGI at this point? They’ve done it before. I’m sure Carrie wouldn’t have wanted her swan song to be such a passive role either), with her bond with Luke being a major factor and us actually being able to see it in practice. May have outwardly given up on her son as well, but still is at the end of the day a mom doing her best. Basically a strong, smart lady like how she’s always been.

Chewbacca: How he always is, but he plays more of a role than basically the guy bussing the cast around, an active combat role definitely. Han’s second in command and maybe fellow dad. Possibly the part-time chaperone of the mess that is the new main duo. Also was Ben’s first friend, and you bet there will be drama here.

Lando Calrissian: Business mogul who probably helps the heroes out, maybe by selling them stuff and using his many connections to get information. And/or he’s basically an economic diplomat for the Republic. Has known Ben since he was a child and may have snuck him on too many joyrides without telling Leia, to her chagrin and Han’s amusement. 

Grand Admiral Armitage Hux: Basically how he was in SW7. Calculating, manipulative, coldhearted, intelligent, and ruthless, the brains to Kylo’s brawn. Son of former Imperial officers, killed his own father to get where he is. Gives no f*cks, except when he goes full ham. Maybe even he goes cold and pale if Kylo starts getting angry, just to show how terrifying he can be, but I also like the idea of him being one of two people who can manipulate Kylo out of a tantrum and not end up a pile of flesh or choked to death. 

Captain Phasma: How she is in supplemental material probably. A walking chrome machine of merciless death. Probably not very talkative, and probably does not take defectors lightly. She may defect at the end or not depending on how truly evil she’s portrayed to be, but I’m thinking she’s likely this cruel disciplinarian who expects complete and utter, machine-like obedience to the end, and Finn flinches at the mere mention of her, though she herself is equally as extremely loyal to the cause.

Snoke: A mysterious being, the likes of which are not of this galaxy. Probably some kind of ancient eldritch abomination who can torment vulnerable minds with an untraceable curse. Not your average Sith, and despite how it may seem it may not be connected to them at all… Or perhaps it is. Or perhaps it itself serves a larger master. It wants to use Kylo Ren for… something. Just what it is is what Luke has been trying to find out for years.

Knights of Ren: Idea borrowed from Thor Skywalker (check him out on YouTube!); possibly a military cult of Sith/Vader worshippers who see Ben as the second coming of Vader, and have aligned themselves with Snoke. Probably basically Kylo’s personal guard and troops. Or possibly directly liked to whatever otherworldly entit(ies?) Snoke is, not being of this galaxy themselves.

Anakin Skywalker: Determined grandpa doing his best for his kids, grandkid(s), and the galaxy. Doesn’t appear often, but plays a major role in the story; maybe he’s the one who led Rey to his lightsaber, and maybe he advises Luke while training Rey, or secretly follows Kylo, trying to speak to him but unable to be seen or heard by him. He’d be the one who ultimately convinces Ben to return to the light, and to, in an echo of the words Ben heard when he was being impersonated, “finish what I started”.

Rose Tico: A probably relatively new, wide-eyed young recruit in the Republic Military, and maybe seeks revenge on First Order for killing or kidnapping her sister. Not sure if she will be needed, but if there’s room for her she might be interesting. Maybe she’s one of Poe’s friends or part of his squad. She could also be the resident girly girl because there aren’t many of those here. 

Vice-Admiral Amberlyn Holdo: She’s in the Aftermath books, and those seem pretty good, so she’s probably how she is there. A quirky mostly background character that is probably at most there for Han and/or Leia and Ackbar to give commands to and salute back, but most importantly she actually does her job properly, even if she’s still a bit of an odd person. Also Poe knows her and they have a way more amicable work relationship. Also give her something which actually looks like something military personnel would wear. She could even be a legitimately good tactician who comes up with off-the-wall tactics.

(Side note: I heard that she basically has the Star Wars version of Autism, and while I’d appreciate that as an Aspie myself, I’ll also have to say that Autistic people would probably be terrible military leaders due to us not being able to adjust to sudden changes well and our bad communication skills. So yeah, sorry, unless she’s recast to something like, say, a mechanic or logistics or medic or any other more Autistic-friendly job, that’s going to have to go)

Maz Kanada: …Admittedly not sure what to do with her. But she’s more likely to be an acquaintance of Lando before Han, if she doesn’t know both. In fact, Lando may be introduced early alongside her. But she would still have the important role of keeping Anakin’s saber; how she has it, either Lando found it, or basically what was cut from TFA showing that she’s indeed pretty awesome. 

BB-8: BB-8 doesn’t have to change. He’s perfect as he is. Maybe what he can do should be more consistent though. Poe and him are basically Ash and Pikachu, they stick together whenever possible. If Rey or Finn need a droid to tag along and Poe isn’t in the party at the moment, R2 is right there. I once read a fanfic in which BB-8 was actually a droid Luke made for Ben and I liked the idea… though it probably would be a bit of an unnecessary detail in practice.

R2-D2 and C3P0: They’re basically business as usual. They would still have that boke-tsukkomi dynamic they had going on, sometimes with the added childlike cuteness of BB-8 in the mix. If there’s any extra time left for comic relief scenes, or if they’re sent on some kind of mission together, I can see these three messing around doing their thing (or rather, BB being childlike, cute and curious, Threepio being overly nervous, and Artoo being too old for this sh*t and/or BB’s cool uncle/older brother) being both cute and hilarious.

Also Worldbuilding stuff will be featured at the bottom

Elaboration on the “big four” of the sequel cast:

Rey: Aged 19, speaks with Daisy Ridley’s normal accent, not RP (I mean really, her accent isn’t that hard to understand). A whole rainbow of possibilities with this lady, though many don’t realize it. I might be leaning towards her being Luke’s daughter, though her being Just Rey may also be interesting, and her still being a descendant of Palpatine or the main villain could also have potential, though if Finn is a Jedi I don’t think there’s any need for her parents to be nobody. But the three main routes I can think of for her are these three: Cynical!Rey, a Rey with a backstory identical to the canon Rey from her abandonment onwards, Fangirl!Rey, a sort of estimation of a dorky female Star Wars nerd in-universe and the most lighthearted start out of the three, and Padawan!Rey, a Rey who is already Luke’s Padawan at his academy. Maybe making her starting point less crushingly bleak and Fangirl!Rey could work, but it might dilute both ideas, and that characterization might be a bit too similar to ANH Luke. 

As is apparent, Cynical!Rey, is, well, cynical. She’s strong and independent, but extremely distrusting, on-edge, and not used to friendly interaction. Think Female SW4 Han Solo but even more antisocial and probably not even bothering with the bravado, and basically with Anakin’s upbringing except she doesn’t even have a loving mother like Anakin did. Fangirl!Rey was my initial idea but I’m starting to become less partial to it because of the aforementioned similarity to ANH Luke, but my idea was she’s basically Harry Potter, living with stepparents who hate her, or she’s still used as basically child labor but her conditions are nowhere near as bad as Cynical Rey’s, and she would have grown up on stories about the Rebels and the Jedi and everything else in the past movies, collecting every single bit of memorabilia she can get her hands on. If one wants to go for very lighthearted and slightly meta for SW7 this is the route. Padawan!Rey could go anywhere, but I’m thinking she would basically be our D&D Paladin; ever since Ben Solo went berserk and ran off to join the First Order, she’s become very protective of her fellow students and has a really understandable personal grudge against him. She might be the strongest pupil left after the Second Jedi Massacre, and by the end maybe she becomes the successor to headmaster of the academy. It is possible that she was found abandoned on Jakku or Luke’s doorstep, however, so the theme of growing up lonely is there, and because being a Jedi is what has given her meaning in life it means a lot to her. But while I don’t want her parentage to be revealed early if it is Luke, it does raise the massive plot hole of why this was never disclosed to her or to Ben. 

And yes, I did say fellow students and academy. Wiping the new Jedi Order feels really cheap and it makes the whole hopeful Jedi Starting Anew implication that I’m 90% sure the OT ended on feel very pointless. I’d prefer them still being there, though their inclusion would be obviously way more natural in the Padawan Route. This also has tons of marketing potential for Disney, because I wanted to take IRL realism into account; what’s in it for Disney? Maybe potential to expand on other students and Luke’s academy? It could be like a smaller Jedi Hogwarts/Xavier Institute basically. Though the survivors wouldn’t be too numerous; just, like, four at most. Maybe there would be elements of an Avengers/Infinity War/Endgame-esque team movie, even if the rest are a bit out of focus.

I did think maybe the heroes would still go to Ahch-To after SW7 where Luke would have been hiding with his students researching the new threat, but maybe I could have him stay and sort of take a few cues from Harry Potter by introducing the heroes to the world of the Jedi early and giving them a break in the action as they settle in their new homes, so there’s more time to develop the padawan side characters, what the academy is like, and Luke gets to appear in SW7 as well so there can be a OT trio “reunion” (not a reunion in-universe). Though that kind of messes with other parts I want to include like Rey and Finn having to take on Kylo and getting completely whipped because he’s a rampaging madman before having to be saved by Luke. Also Rey getting kidnapped has potential for developing her trust in others, and her and Finn getting a breather moment at the Republic after the heroes and Han regroup would kind of remove a point where that could be easily slotted in the story. It would also require everything before this to be crammed in the first act. 

(Newer edit 5/27/21)  I also like her getting a golden double-bladed saber like many fans depict her. It’s not only awesome looking (because she only gets her own saber at the end of TROS… Why?), but it’s more toys for the moichendise! It fits her starting with a staff, it has more reach, and it would fit Cynical Rey especially for her to have a style centered around keeping as much of herself defended as possible. Watching Battlefront 2 footage has made me think about fighting styles a bit, and if she and Finn are a duo how their styles of combat might compliment each other, especially as their relationship develops (coincidentally she and Finn apparently are a very good combination in BF2). A Cynical Rey would probably contrast the most, with a fighting style based on keeping enemies away, trickery, and defense (a good choice for a blade made of light), maybe a bit wild at first but initially her goal in fighting would be to hold out until there is an opening to get the hell out, only staying to fight if she has no other option. Fangirl Rey wouldn’t really have a fighting style initially, and it’s gonna be very dependent on where her arc goes. Padawan Rey would have the most Prequel Jedi-esque, choreographed style, showing a lot of skill though not quite mastering it and with tons of openings at first. A Cynical Rey may have an uncanny skill to detect suspicious people, which would make her trusting the heroes easier, and though this ability isn’t super strong and is more “a slight gut feeling but it could be nothing” than “human lie detector” it could maybe be honed more. And while not quite wall vision like in BF2 (because wat? Where do they come up with this stuff?), maybe she’s good at detecting people’s presences too. These are very apt ambient skills for someone in her position. Meanwhile, Fangirl!Rey would have probably suspected she had the Force already, and her ambient abilities could be whatever, just rather passive abilities unless trained. 

If she is Luke’s daughter though, that would open up the can of worms of who her mother is. Just making it so that she died before the events of SW7 might seem a bit… unfortunate? I kind of want Luke to have found love sometime (and seriously with how much of a bombshell young Luke was, in addition to him being such a hero, I’m shocked that he never got one. I can see why Mara Jade wanted a piece of that. *wolf whistle*), but then I’d have to figure out how to incorporate her in this already character-dense story without her having cheaply died offscreen. I might be able to think of something? I could always go digging in the dusty pile of old fan theories, I might find something good. Thor Skywalker did hint at her but his story stopped at the end of where SW8 would have. If I do name her Mara there’s probably going to be extra pressure to do something with her. …But I can’t be the only one who thinks that Daisy Ridley kind of looks like Natalie Portman. Then again I’m pretty face-blind. I guess blond hair and blue eye color genes are also recessive traits for Star Wars humans. Though it seems the height genes skipped a generation because she’s actually pretty tall for a woman at 170 cm - I’m sorry what. That’s as tall as the average Japanese man! Holy sh*t Daisy! She only looks a bit small because she’s often depicted with Kylo and Kylo makes everyone not Phasma look diminutive. I guess Ben would get it from Anakin and Han (though he’s still taller than both of them…), so maybe a taller actress would be cast as Mara (?). And despite Rey’s malnourishment in the Cynical route, this actually isn’t that implausible, because stunted growth apparently only happens if children are deprived from gestation to about 2 years of age. 

And again, why wouldn’t Ben know about this? But if this isn’t the Padawan!Rey route (the hardest to incorporate Rey The Actual Skywalker into), maybe Ben took Rey’s assumed death as even more of a reason to burden himself with the entire Skywalker legacy? This would give him a reason to already care about her.

Further edits: According to the Aftermath books, Jakku was a “Lightside Nexus” planet. Maybe this has to do with her powers? (Perhaps she was kept sane by the Force speaking to her on occasion, in dreams or as she lies staring at the ceiling after a long day, showing her the loving life she used to live and unknown to her she will return to someday). Or why she was dropped there? Maybe she was supposed to be living with Lor San Tekka (the old guy Kylo kills at the beginning of TFA), but got lost one day or was kidnapped by bandits to be a scavenger because her small size would have been perfect for getting loot from small spaces? Why not take her back then? This probably is one of the biggest plot knots in the Cynical Rey Skywalker route, alongside who her mother is.  

Small detail lightning round before moving on: I once read a Japanese fic, and in it she mentioned she hates alcohol because she saw how it turned people into monsters. I actually kind of liked this headcanon, and maybe a bit unexpected. Though there’s also the route of her just being too used to it, setting her apart from previous more wholesome protagonists even more.  Also Daisy would have to start hitting the gym and protein shakes because I think her character design evolving from her thin build to a very athletic, Wonder Woman-esque body type would be pretty good in representing her growth as a character, and combined with her height she would be so very badass looking. 

Finn: Probably around 23? Infamous for lost potential, so his backstory is the same. However, I’m thinking that due to his dehumanizing upbringing, he’s a bit robotic and pretty stoic initially, a total opposite to Poe. He doesn’t understand jokes or sarcasm, and now that he’s completely left the life he’s always known, he feels pretty lost. He would basically act like a male Rei Ayanami, though I was going more for Drax at first. Alternatively, he’s a proud warrior type, imagine a stereotypical North Korean/Prussian soldier. He’d be a bit more emotional and probably less cartoonish here (I mean I have compared Star Wars to anime but full-on anime tropes in live action probably looks super corny), and he’s a massive hardass who also doesn’t get sarcasm or jokes and fanatical and would have thought of his fellow soldiers as a collective as his band of brothers and comrades, collectively serving the FO like a smoothly running machine. My initial thought was that after a life of war crimes and the influence a certain pilot whose cell he was guarding who gave him his name, and maybe witnessing the death of a comrade, he had defected from the FO, but I started thinking it would be plausible if he defected from the FO probably by accident. Highly likely to be the second protagonist, if not POV character, and if so I think it’s logical that it’s Finnrey that becomes the canon ship here. In the Padawan!Rey route, he’s the newcomer protagonist, not Rey. If they’re shipped, or even as friends, they may bond over their dehumanizing, harsh backgrounds and the feeling of being lost in the world. Also he likely starts a mutiny. Like it was such an obvious plot point but they never use it for some bizarre reason. It’s like the DM didn’t read his character sheet at all. Actually one didn’t and the other kept forgetting it in the third campaign.

There’s two ways I think his arc could go; first would be a focus mainly on his search for identity and becoming his own person. Second, his guilt about having done the First Order’s bidding for so long. Probably a combination of the two, though I’m not sure how to address them both. He also wants to see his colleagues free from slavery. But I am sure about I’d that he’d have to overcome his conditioning, learning to regain his humanity.

Especially if Rey is a Skywalker and he becomes a Jedi, he’d be the one who the movie makes a point about being from nowhere. He has no idea who his parents are, but it would not even matter in the end, it’s what he makes of his life from here on out. And if he and Rey end up together, which is extremely likely in this scenario, he not only finds his family in the figurative sense with the other Jedi and his new friends plus girlfriend, but in the literal sense as well, going from nameless Stormtrooper FN-2187, to just Finn the ex-Stormtrooper, to Finn the Padawan and then Jedi Knight, to finally, Finn Skywalker, Jedi Knight; maybe the last movie ends with one of them proposing to the other, with SW8 having previously ended with the climactic big damn kiss that cemented that they are a thing now. (Cue Luke jokingly asking when he’s getting grandchildren and How It Should Have Ended!Anakin squeeing over him getting great-grandchildren lol) His name would have this real symbolic value to it with how it changes as he goes from nobody to somebody. Not to mention “Finn Skywalker” is just a freakin’ awesome name. If they make up the leading duo, he and Rey may have some kind of inherent connection, or they progress into two parts of the same whole, even attaining something like a Dyad.

I thought an interesting thing to do if Rey is a Skywalker, and this is Cynical Rey, is a twist on the expected pattern by making him the one who sees the good in Kylo, not Rey. Because while Rey might be his cousin, she’s also a very distrustful person who couldn’t afford to think deeply about people act the way they do when she was growing up and fighting to survive. Meanwhile, Finn knows Kylo, and he also knows what it’s like to be determined to be a killing machine from a very young age, and if he has to forgive himself, or if he’s able to see the light, that Kylo deserves a chance as well. It would be the ultimate show of kindness from him, to show him forgiving the man who works so loyally under the same organization that enslaved him. I can also see Kylo being angry at himself for being unable to sense the Force-Sensitive in their midst. 

Maybe he was born on a “Lightside nexus” planet too so that it makes sense that he can keep up with other characters? Presuming he’s in his early 20s, I don’t think him being raised by the Order since he was a baby is that plausible, so maybe he was already an orphan? I can see the First Order spinning their Stormtrooper program kidnapping street orphans as “rehabilitating” them, which combined with good old Victorian style citizen apathy to street children allows them to get away with it. But if he was, say, around 6 years old when he was taken away, it would make sense why he was able to break out of his programming. Perhaps Poe showing him friendship awoke the humanity long dormant in him. But on the other hand, the younger, adolescent soldiers may be beyond saving, and I can see that being absolutely heartbreaking. 

I can see his fighting style with a saber being direct, forceful, and pragmatic, but unlike Rey the emphasis would be on engaging and keeping up the fight, and be very disciplined, calculated, and controlled in contrast to Cynical Rey. At least he’d attempt it while he gets used to the properties of a lightsaber, before there would probably be a lot of awkwardness as John is directed to swing this weightless prop blade with a weighted hilt like he would a club or sword. If he isn’t a Force Sensitive, he’s a good sniper just like in BF2, in fact this would be his primary combat ability, though still able to hold his own in melee combat. Though even as a Jedi he’d probably still use a gun as a sidearm, and his good aim would also translate to him being very good at spotting openings and spotting danger from a distance, as well as enhanced ability to dodge. 

Poe Dameron: Age 29 (?). A total bro. I’ve kind of come to think of him as this embodiment of the good, wholesome side of traditional masculinity. I can best describe him as the guy you expect to think of when you think of the guy who takes the boys to the bar for beers on the house and hosts Super Bowl night (for the Americans out there). Basically just that big bro/cool uncle everyone likes. I think he’s the least changed from how he is in SW7; he’s a laid-back pilot with no special powers, and while he’s probably the most static and admittedly flat character (and unfortunately more minor than the other two) he has tons of charisma and optimism to compensate, though being the one who keeps everyone sane definitely helps. Not to mention his piloting skills; which, note, are never eclipsed by Rey, because that’s dumb. His skills are a bit more downplayed here, but he’s still extremely good, especially for his age. Despite being the pilot he’s the most down-to-earth, and may be the only one of the big four with any social skills, even if he’s a bit dorky, especially regarding BB-8. 

Son of Rebel pilots, graduated top of his class in the Republic Flight Academy, and his background is squeaky clean, no drug trading involved, though he spent a lot of his adolescence and his adulthood in the Academy or in the military, just like in pre-TROS supplementary material. He’s the main source of jokes and wisecracks out of the trio in all but the most dorky of Fangirl!Rey routes probably, teaching Cynical!Rey and Finn what it’s like to smile and laugh. He still has a close relationship with Leia and Han; possibly closer to the latter due to the latter being a pilot and likely still a General. Not sure about him keeping his rank because him starting and staying at the top might mesh awkwardly with the rest of the trio, but maybe he’s still a Commander; whichever makes his inclusion in the main cast most plausible. Due to an adorable Pixiv comic I found he may have been inspired to become a pilot by Luke or Han. I’d like to think that he breaks the hotshot pilot cliché a bit by not being too overly arrogant, immediately setting himself apart from Han by being a wholesome guy there for his buddies from the start, even if he is fond of wisecracking and snarkiness (probably from hanging around Han and Leia), and inside that laid-back personality lies a hotblooded, passionate, unwavering core. Like, he’s not exactly hotheaded like a Latin stereotype (*ahem*), but he’s got this more subtle, but still apparent, underlying fiery hotbloodedness to him, something that especially makes itself apparent in high-stress situations and when it comes to his loved ones. He’d also be Rey and Finn’s mentor of sorts in stuff that doesn’t involve the Force, being their role model for what a functional member of society is. He may make some self-depreciating jokes about being “normal”, but I think mostly he’ll take it in stride. Though I can see him and Han having a chat about this in a more quiet scene. 

Ironically, out of the trio he could maybe be said to be the most suited to be a Jedi personality-wise, despite the fact that he has no Force Sensitivity whatsoever; he goes with the flow, he isn’t troubled, he’s happy with the simple pleasures in life, he’s just a good, genuine guy who does good things, passionate but not obsessive, and he’s forgiving, willing to give even an enemy soldier a chance, appealing to the humanity in him. The last one is particularly Luke-like, don’t you think? Oh, to elaborate on the escape; I still like the idea of him giving Finn his name (though another idea I love is a fallen friend giving Finn his name, that would change stuff around a lot from what I am thinking at this moment). I also think that perhaps supplemental material or some flashbacks, or even an animated short could be made showing just how Poe broke Finn’s programming; by showing him genuine kindness, because somehow, despite his lack of Force Sensitivity, he saw that FN-2187 could be talked out of his programming if he was constantly nice to him, befriending him, starting up casual chatter with him, and after a while the trooper starts opening up to this pilot. …Yeah, Luke-like indeed. Though since there is the plot hole of why Finn could be convinced in mere days and why he’s the only one guarding such a high-profile prisoner, a more realistic idea may be that they talk to each other this way a few times, then Poe escapes and Finn goes after him before they both crash on Jakku and have to work together, with Poe immediately being friendly with Finn and later Rey, to his (and her) confusion. (I can just imagine Poe being all chipper and trying to engage Finn in conversation, or telling him “Good job, sport!” after they fight off bandits or something, and Finn just is all deadpan and “We are enemies, we have no reason to fraternize” and I find that kind of cute).

He may ultimately be the most static of the main cast, but I can see him having a huge impact in more subtle ways; like maybe Rey and Finn think of what Poe might do in a given situation in their training, and he could be the catalyst behind why Finn thinks that Kylo can be redeemed, just like how Poe was able to light another way when it felt like there was only one path for him. He also definitely wouldn’t be the type to be so reckless with his men like he was in TLJ, if he’s still a Commander; he cares about his men a lot, and in fact they may be the reason why he tends to act like an older brother. I can imagine a pretty poignant scene with Finn where Finn sees Poe by himself and BB-8 paying respects to his fallen comrades by this handmade cenotaph, as he sets some flowers down and pours a drink to them, and Finn once again is able to see how different the culture outside the First Order is, as he would have never been mourned like that if he died on the battlefield, nor can he imagine he ever would have done so himself. Or maybe Rey is there too, because if this is Cynical Rey she’s only known a life where people exploited each other. Maybe other characters like Jessika (who he’s already close to I think? Did she show up in the movies though?) or Rose would have the opportunity to be more than background characters by being part of his crew, and we’d get some charming scenes about the bond he has with his squadron.

Again, admittedly he’d be the least deep character out of the big four, with his feelings not being explored nearly as much. But he probably doesn’t really hide his feelings much anyway. For any supplementary shorts involving him, they would be mainly lighter stories about his relationship with the OT cast and their families and his friendship with BB-8 and his crew, or action-y ones about missions he’s gone on; as opposed to, say, Finn, which would show his life as an expendable trooper who knew nothing but war, Cynical!Rey and her crushing loneliness and growing disillusionment to the world as she struggles to survive, or Padawan!Rey and her anguish and grappling with the Dark Side in the aftermath of the Jedi Massacre. 

I can also imagine him being this adorable Shipper On Deck for Finnrey lol. Just looking at his two friends, all proud, maybe even tearing up like “*sniff* I’m not crying Buddy, you’re crying!” when the inevitable big kiss scene happens. I can also imagine him being the one to tell Finn that “Hey Finn, what you’re feeling is love!”…And then he has to spend hours trying to explain what love even is to him lol. He always has his friends’ back after all. Again, he’s most likely the one guy who isn’t completely socially inept among these dorks. I’ve also had the potential idea that he could maybe be a good cook, and he’d be the one who introduces Rey and Finn to actually good food. Some fics I’ve noticed tend to show him cooking stuff probably for that reason. It’s just kind of cute, and it sets a good example if despite his traditionally masculine, salt-of-the-earth character, he likes some less “manly” stuff like such and sees no shame in it.

He may sacrifice himself in a blaze of glory towards the end, especially because quite frankly he may lose his plot relevance as the story goes on, though it would definitely be way more respectful than a lot of deaths were treated in the sequels. But I also want him to stick around because I want to imagine him being all proud of Rey and Finn after they propose to each other and giddily planning their wedding, and I feel he could have some very good interactions with Ben to build on for any spinoffs taking place after the trilogy. Speaking of…

Kylo Ren/Ben Solo: AKA Yet Another Ball Of Lost Potential: Anti-Villain Addition. This is gonna be a doozy, so strap in. He was probably the most developed character here but that just makes his lost potential stick out even more, so I have so much to say about him.

About 27 probably. While people complain about it, I actually like him being a manchild. It makes him a bit unique in this series. It’s kind of like Vader if he didn’t get stuck in that suit and kept acting like Anakin. In fact, that could make him even more terrifying if that feeds into how destructive he can be; at first he seems like your typical intimidating SW villain, not even that bad a leader with a seemingly calm if tense, imposing air, but it eventually becomes clear he’s this terrifying, volatile berserker who can throw some of the most destructive tantrums ever, and is ultimately a pathetic, broken, pitiful shell of a man. …He just happens to be a very powerful shell of a man. Maybe if he becomes emotional or angry enough, he can unleash powerful shockwaves that basically blow up everything around him, or cause mini Force Storms, or cause any number of unpredictable effects. Though he’s not quite constantly raging either; these berserk states are indeed triggered by anger, but I’m thinking that they are also basically weaponized panic attacks, there’s a sense that it’s also a self-defense mechanism that he lapses into when emotions overwhelm him or when he otherwise feels threatened (though whether it’s necessarily involuntary all the time I’m not so sure; but while he’d definitely want to be able to trigger them voluntarily, there will always be some sense that he doesn’t have full control over it). Also a lot of his rage is directed inwards as well, much like with his grandfather. I thought that maybe his unpredictability in these rages would be the key to his destructiveness, though I can see how someone who is out of control would also pose a problem, no matter how powerful; so maybe this is when he becomes the most focused, becoming locked onto the elimination of the perceived threat at all costs, and/or he can be controlled by his Master more directly like some kind of attack animal. 

Luke’s first padawan, or at least after Leia or Grogu (I might make him show up as Luke’s first knighted pupil and allude to this, providing more exposition on Kylo, and being one of the Jedi who help fight in the final battle as the Skywalkers go on to take on the final boss (and Grogu’s name being revealed would be a massive hype moment in The Mandalorian)). Due to his storied family, plus the name of his uncle and grandfather’s own master, he had heavy expectations on his (at the time) small shoulders from an early age. However, he had long been tormented by the Dark Side due to an untraceable curse placed upon him by Snoke, and probably a pre-existing anxious personality. The expectations placed on him, or maybe perhaps just self-imposed expectations, only worsened his turmoil, resulting in a festering mess of self-hatred, extreme perfectionism, and an obsession with familial honor and obsessive attachment to his family, especially Luke, that is a nasty combination of hero-worship and the abovementioned complexes and may border on almost incestuous.

There’s three ways for his backstory to go; “Underachiever Ben”, where Ben is either mediocre as a Jedi or still good but outperformed by others, or “Elsa Ben”, where he’s basically like Elsa from Frozen, possessing an extreme amount of power but barely able to control it, possibly due to Snoke’s curse, and a sort of middle ground, where Ben was super strong and a quick learner, but the dark side in him made Luke feel mixed about Ben’s increasing power, which Ben sensed. If the former, Ben becomes increasingly frustrated at himself for being such a “failure”. If “Elsa Ben”, there’s that, and also the added pain of him growing up terrified of himself and able to sense the terror he causes to those around him, so he was taken in by Luke so hopefully Luke could figure something out; he could have been destructive from the start, or maybe he started to become increasingly destructive despite his training. If the middle ground route, he takes Luke’s mixed emotions to mean that he doesn’t think he’s good enough. How severe Snoke’s curse would have been I’m not fully sure on; he could have voices in his head and nightmares keeping him up for days, chipping away at his sanity, tempting him to accept the darkness, or it may have just been an amplifying of his already unstable emotions. They could have even started as the latter and escalated to the former. But I’m thinking that to best explain his behavior I’m leaning towards the Elsa route. Eventually, his nightmares morphed into repeated visits by Darth Vader, his grandfather, who told him about the truth of his lineage and how he became Vader, slandering everything and everyone he ever admired or loved, telling him of his “true” destiny, and how he should give up and embrace it; unable to hear the real Anakin’s ghost screaming at him to not repeat his mistake. This extended campaign of mental torment stunted his emotional growth in many aspects, and at times he may seem to regress even more. Maybe other padawans were afraid of him because of this dark side presence, avoiding him, and/or were jealous of him because of his lineage and relation to Luke. He often felt entitled to be Luke’s right hand, getting jealous at other students and taking any reprimanding, no matter how gentle, extremely personally. Luke would have needed to struggle between not seeming to be biased towards his nephew and giving him the attention he needed, especially because Ben would feel like Han and Leia abandoned him because they weren’t able to help him, but considering how attached he is to Luke this would hurt him. So when Luke went to speak to him one night, or rushed in sensing an overwhelming dark side presence in his room, and was suddenly attacked by Snoke with a vision of what his nephew would become and making him go into fighting mode for a split second, drawing his weapon to protect Ben, and/or earlier admitted in anguish that he had no idea what was tormenting him despite his efforts, the straw broke the pedestal and he resigned himself to his “destiny”. Ironically he’s just exchanging one sky-high ideal for another, but he’s too emotionally immature to realize this, nor does he fully realize the fact that Snoke merely sees him as a malleable, gullible means to an end. Yet he still feels that pesky pull to the light, and he becomes increasingly frustrated with himself that even as a Dark side user, he still can’t be “perfect” or “worth” anything, not even able to sink himself into the darkness and finally rid himself of his pain. For all the privilege and power he has, or because of it, he always feels worthless. 

Basically I want to break him down and make his pitifulness obvious, but that’s what makes him sympathetic. He’s nowhere as far gone as Vader, even if he wants to be, kind of like a reverse Jekyll and Hyde situation where the Hyde is dominant but Jekyll hangs on, so to speak? Maybe? Is that the right analogy? Or I guess it is kind of like Anakin but sort of not, but he’s rapidly going down the same route of hurting his family like his grandfather. 

From researching a bit, his proposed behavior seems pretty close to the symptoms of BPD, which is actually pretty fitting because I was thinking Luke’s philosophy on the Force would be influenced by a more modern understanding of psychology, and Dialectical Behavior Therapy actually seems pretty in tune with what I understand to be how the Light Side of the Force works (I mean it even has basis in religious meditation…). Perhaps a mystical version of DBT was one of the things Luke was studying in exile. Though obviously it isn’t exactly BPD; portraying an actual, named mental illness not only has way too much baggage behind it, but it breaks immersion. And with him a lot of it will be the influence of the curse, though I think I would rather him have a personality that made him vulnerable to it from the start, so the curse had something to latch onto. 

Going with the “Elsa Ben” scenario, his “real” personality is anxious and even a bit shy. While I like the idea of him being cheerful when he was very little, the shyness always being there is also a characterization I like. Combined with his lumbering physique from his teenage years onwards, this made him a kid who gave off an impression of being extremely dorky (an act that would probably be very natural for Adam Driver to pull off lol) and/or withdrawn and aloof, the latter of which may have made some other padawans think he thought highly of himself and start to resent him. Unlike Anakin he’d be probably a dutiful student, almost creepily obedient, probably actively distancing himself from rebellious behavior, though his way of speaking isn’t exactly super formal either because of the influence of the adults around him. In his obsessions lies a genuine love, even if twisted, of his “favorite person” so to speak. He was also a genuinely sweet kid who wanted to please these special people in his life. He could be said to be actually really selfless in a weird way, because ultimately he values familial honor and being “good enough” for whatever higher purpose more than he values himself. TROS implied some sassiness with that Han-like shrug, and while I can maybe see some of Han rubbing off on him like that, that might be something that started from him trying to copy his parents’ air of confidence, and another coping mechanism. He might, like Vader, have a 501st legion 2.0 which Phasma is in charge of and Finn is part of, and show a more nicer side to them. Perhaps he opened up one or two times to Finn specifically; I can see this image of him venting to him while Finn stands still like how someone might vent to their dog, not really expecting Finn to be listening (also sarcasm might help Kylo obscure his true anguish from Finn, because FO troopers don’t understand sarcasm probably).  

He will be redeemed at the end… and live. Even if not necessarily paired with Rey. I’m neutral on Reylo (though admittedly I have a weak spot for pairs involving a strong woman and a troubled guy, so it’s kind of growing on me), but I really think this ship, or even centering the story strongly around a platonic relationship between these two, could have worked if it was built up strongly (Though if I were to go this route Finn would have to be established as a secondary character from the start, with Rey as the definitive main character, to focus on this). But either way, he’s definitely going to have to face the consequences of what he’s done, make up for his atrocities at least somewhat, and think about what he truly wants to do from now on. I can imagine him quietly reading stories to younglings as Rey, Finn, and Luke train some other pupils outside, or thanklessly working behind the scenes in other ways. For his haters out there, I could make the pill easier to swallow not just by making the reasons for his fall and how he was slowly and meticulously gaslit more clear, but also making him not as awful. Yes, he’s extremely destructive, but he could show more reluctance, or pause after his berserker rages, staring at the destruction he’s caused as the weight of what he’s done sinks in. He’d of course resent that he still has mercy left in him though. I don’t think that there will be a Starkiller Base, but even if there was he might argue with Hux a bit over whether it’s really necessary, until Hux sneers at him for having mercy, saying that Vader never hesitated when blowing up Alderaan, and Kylo reluctantly backs off.

…Actually, what about making him and Rey cousins? On one hand, if Rey is a Skywalker by blood, a direct daughter of the Master himself no less, Ben is now suddenly freed from carrying the weight of the family legacy on his own. On the other hand… He basically loses the thing he has spent his entire life building his identity around; since his fall would have partially been because of his obsession with Luke, he may become jealous and extremely resentful of her, and/or take this as even more reason for Luke to not “need” him anymore. Or perhaps, he pulls a reverse of “I sense the conflict in you” with her, wanting to “save” her from embracing the Light and wanting her to embrace the “true” Skywalker destiny with him. He could even be overjoyed that he could have someone else alongside him to carry on the legacy with; in this scenario he could have an unhealthy obsession with her that might also start crossing into “are you sure this isn’t incest?” territory. Yeah it’s a “join me and we can rule together” scenario again, but it would be done differently. Or perhaps it’s a mix of some of those. Exploring that and how he chooses to take it could be extremely interesting. Maybe it’s resolved when Anakin tells him to “finish what he started”… not just by saving the galaxy, but by also living the rest of his life loving his family not as an ideal, but as family, like Anakin wasn’t allowed to. And platonic Reylo sounds nice too. Though that’s going to make all that shipping fanart so awkward lol. Well it’s not as if Star Wars shippers haven’t been cockblocked by incest before (though his obsession with family and extremely questionable mental state would probably make such shippers go nuts anyway…). 

And going off of Poe being close to his parents, while the main interactions with Kylo from the heroes would be Rey, Finn if he’s the second protagonist, Luke, and his parents, I can see potential for an interesting dynamic and some interesting conversations between them too. Much like how he might react to Rey being Luke’s daughter, I can see him being jealous of Poe and resenting him for being his “replacement”, but after his redemption I can see potential for seeing the start of a friendship between them in epilogue comics, novels, or a mini-series. It would be pretty in-character for my version of Poe to want to help rehabilitate his sort-of stepbrother. Also I now have the adorable mental image of Ben quietly helping Poe (and maybe the rest of his squad) decorate and arrange Rey and Finn’s wedding, or the two surprising Finn with a very elaborate bachelor party, though I’m not sure if those exist in this universe. And because of a certain Inside Llewyn Davis scene I’m also imagining Poe getting Ben to sing with him and BB-8. It’s adorable. 

Also if both Rey and Finn are the main heroes, he might have some kind of link with both of them, and the main duo would both contrast him in their own way (lonely scavenger who no one expected anything of and nameless trooper who defected from the First Order vs. someone who grew up in greatness but seemingly threw it away and chose to be in the First Order; and much like Kylo Finn in particular has been manipulated from childhood to do heinous things, so he may sympathize with his situation). Maybe he’s the missing piece needed for both him and the leading duo to reach their full potential, or the main duo are the last piece needed to finally break Snoke’s curse on him, or something. Or it could simply just be Finn showing his growth and strength of character by understanding and forgiving Kylo, despite him now understanding just how badly the First Order treated him, which makes Rey (who, again, might start as this super cynical scavenger or may have seen Kylo go berserk and massacre her friends and betray her Master) come around to the idea. In this scenario it may actually be even more important to emphasize that Rey and Finn are two making up a whole, so as not to bog stuff down. It’s possible to ship Finnrey and want Kylo to have a better ending, what a shock! 

Maybe Rey and Kylo could switch places, and he comes back to the light in SW8, which is an idea I’ve seen floated and is something that would make the story truly unique. He would seem like basically a less stable Vader 2.0 at the start, but over SW8 he could be seen breaking more and more out of his own terrible mindset, coming to a head in a cathartic realization that bring him back into the arms of his beloved family. It would also add an interesting dynamic that he and Finn have to be equals now. But that may mean that Rey would have to be killed off and I’m not so sure about that. 

Though speaking of her, since in all these scenarios a common thread is that she understandably doesn’t like him, it would be a bit of a twist if Finn sees the good in him but Rey, if she’s a Skywalker, his cousin, doesn’t. 

And to bring up Poe again, I also really like the idea of them having been childhood friends and thus knowing each other before the events of SW7; after all, they’re around similar age, it isn’t that far-fetched to think that former Rebel families would be still pretty close to each other, and I’ve seen some adorable fanfics with the concept. It also adds connection between them and adds even more tragedy, even if this relationship may have to be elaborated more in supplementary material due to time. I can definitely Poe speaking like an old friend to Kylo and constantly calling him “Ben”, to his irritation. The abovementioned feeling of being replaced could be what caused Ben to suddenly break off the friendship. And making the main cast kind of tight-knit like this might also help make the cast easier to manage. 

Granted, there is the possibility of killing him off, though. I heard that one of the initial ideas for TFA was apparently that Kylo would be a reverse Vader, falling deeper and deeper into the Dark Side as the trilogy goes on. In fact, this may have been where Kylo killing Han may have been leading to. This actually sounded like a super cool idea, but considering the backstory I laid out I thought it would be way too bittersweet for the concluding movie of the saga, and if one were to say Kylo basically has BPD… That might lead to some unfortunate implications. I mean nothing is stopping me from not using the Elsa backstory, and if I didn’t use it maybe this route would be pretty viable, but I’m kind of starting to get attached to it. 

—

Other characters:

Hux: I’ve never really been a villain person. I mean I liked sympathetic villains, yeah (but even then I preferred anti-heroes for a while; I’m talking like nothing beyond N from Pokémon levels of “evil”), but straight-up villains I just have merely seen as obstacles. Like back in my Smash fic days I was often like “Eh… They’re there… Because they want to take over the world I guess?”. It’s why I’m having trouble with Snoke probably lol. But for some reason Hux interests me. If I take a guess it’s probably because of the potential he had as an actual foil to Kylo in his own faction. He had so much potential as a villain, and in having this tense dynamic play out. In fact he does seem to have been set up that way in SW7. But yeah, I imagine him as one coldhearted bastard. His backstory, though not elaborated on in the movies, would be much like TFA supplementary material set him up; he’d still have killed his father, but while yes, Brendol was abusive and strict, Armitage didn’t kill him completely because he was a young man who wanted to break free from his strict father, but also genuinely because he knew doing so would be good for his standing. Unlike Kylo when he (most likely) kills Han, he doesn’t regret killing Brendol at all. While he might have a tragic backstory kind of explaining his behavior, it doesn’t bother him at all, while Kylo, who considering what happened to him and how he’s literally under a curse you’d think would have a much steeper fall into unabashed evil, is constantly conflicted. It’s a very Sith Lord-like backstory funnily enough… In fact I’m pretty sure that Palpatine had a backstory very similar to this with his parents.  

He’s a very logical, analytical, brutally pragmatic person, and he looks upon Kylo’s emotional state with condescension. I’m increasingly starting to like the idea that he’s somehow able to talk Kylo down, while still being hardly nice. Perhaps he preys upon Kylo’s constant need for approval from others, even if he doesn’t like the person in question (this may also be why Kylo reacts so strongly to Finn escaping as well, in fact. He genuinely cares about people’s loyalty, even from literal no-name soldiers). Though I can’t decide whether he’s this deceptively charming snake or basically an evil Spock. I also can’t decide between him being in this constant state of “Why do I have to babysit this manchild” or giving absolutely no visible f*cks around Kylo no matter what happens, or even straight-up trolling him often, toying with his emotions because it amuses him; preferably two or a bit of all somehow? I can see him using having met Vader as a child to mock Kylo for how much of a pale, childish imitation he is, or reminding Kylo of how much better he is as a leader objectively; perhaps that’s what he holds over Kylo’s head. Or him explaining to Kylo how he was raised by less than stellar parenting and tried so hard to live up to his strict father too… So he brutally murdered Brendol in cold blood (possibly with Phasma’s help), became a better admiral than he ever was, and got over it “Like an adult. Unlike you.”. They’d be in this constant state of delicate, tense equality; Kylo can easily overpower Hux if he pisses him off a bit too much, but Hux is able to walk that fine edge seemingly without much effort. 

But when he realizes whatever grand cosmic plot he and the entire First Order has been participating in this whole time is when, ironically, there would probably be a really dramatic villainous breakdown from him. It’s kind of a Zuko and Azula situation with Kylo and Hux perhaps? Or is this Hux more a mix of Azula and Zhao’s roles rather?

——

Worldbuilding stuff: Since I’m more a character person, there isn’t much here, but because the worldbuilding was another issue in the movies I’ll also be adding these.

The New Republic isn’t nuked in the first movie. In fact it stays there for the duration of the trilogy and the hero faction is now its armed forces, not The Resistance (Also that name makes no sense. Seriously. At least name them The Peacekeeper Corps or Vigilantes or something, or since they’re basically Leia’s personal military maybe the Organa Free Army or Organa Corps or something of that sort. No wonder people mistakenly call them The Rebels sometimes. It’s a similar setup to Chrom’s Shepherds in Fire Emblem Awakening, albeit with a better relationship with the kingdom; it would be downright strange if the Shepherds called themselves The Resistance despite literally existing with the queen’s permission, and it still is here. Hell, Leia’s Shepherds is a better name). There would be elaboration on the political stuff going on behind the scenes, and if Leia isn’t a Jedi that’s her plotline probably, though a big part of me wants her to be part of the action instead of being stuck on the homeworld. 

Meanwhile, The First Order is made up of Imperial Remnants and people and planets who were unsatisfied with the democratic but still new and fragile New Republic. Basically think White Russians if the Soviets weren’t also awful. It happens a lot in history. While it may have some mining planets in its orbit (not literally, you know what I mean) so it can plausibly refurbish anything Kylo wrecks with his tantrums, Starkiller Base is probably a bit much, and a lot of their equipment might be old Imperial or Rebel stuff, or stolen from the New Republic, with new stuff being produced but not in overly high quantity. Some of the equipment deemed less important might even be kind of crappy due to how old they are. They’d probably be at most an equally powerful faction to the Republic, if not smaller than them, seeming more like a terrorist cell. I don’t have much of an idea why Snoke would want to be involved in it yet though. 

But while the First Order might be smaller, the New Republic is hindered by it just now finally gaining its footing, and the military previously only having been used for peacekeeping and sniping stray Imperial remnants. Because it’s peacetime, it might have been kept pretty small, and also the military academies are literally not even 30 years old at this point, so new that it’s possible Poe, despite his youth, was one of the earliest graduates; one of the military’s most high-ranking officers is literally a scoundrel with no formal training - even if he is good at his job - it isn’t exactly a well-oiled machine, though its less rigid, casual structure also does benefit it in some aspects. Also the FO can easily use Kylo as intimidation, and its upper staff is nothing if not driven and motivated as well as ruthless. They may engage in more underhanded actions like sabotage and suicide bombers, or rely on small elite units like the Knights of Ren or small companies of troopers, to poke holes in the enemy just as much as open combat. And maybe if all else fails Snoke causes something really bad to happen seemingly out of nowhere. 

While I do think that making the baddies an Empire 2.0 is an… uncreative decision, I want to keep Finn’s backstory, plus it fits Kylo’s story too so blah, I kind of have to keep it. Plus I want to do Phasma and Hux justice. Maybe Snoke or whatever it serves turns into a giant Eldritch abomination and have no use for the FO anymore. And again, reactionary forces are a thing that have existed throughout early modern history. But as already mentioned, due to the nature of the First Order’s existence, maybe the Stormtroopers aren’t kidnapped, but they were orphans picked off the streets, and/or some more dedicated Imperial parents gave them their children? I had the idea that Troopers like Finn are “Junior Troopers”, the child slave type, while older members, “Senior Troopers”, would be legit Imperial revanchists and former troopers. Maybe there’s a separate company of Juniors who think they’re cool by fighting for the First Order, but generally Juniors would be the lowest on the social rung, though some might make it into higher positions, and don’t know any other life than what they have now. Though I also like the idea that Finn was part of an elite unit directly connected to Kylo Ren like the 501st, so he has a reason to be particularly hurt by his betrayal (but that could throw a wrench in the whole Finn was a faceless cog in the machine thing). They’re pretty Prussian in command structure; officers work under mission-tactics, but the rank-and-file are machine-like in their discipline, more than even some actual droids. The Republic’s forces also probably engage in mission-tactics a lot, except how far it is acceptable goes way further down the chain of command, so stuff like the Holdo situation doesn’t happen. If that situation were to happen when mission-tactics were to be expected Poe’s independent action would be seen as reasonable. This would have potential for very interesting battles and tactics, though I’d need a lot of help with those because I’m the furthest thing from a tactician you can find (but even I can tell the bomber scene from TLJ was dumb, which should say something).

I kind of realized that it’s possible that the four OT legacy characters may end up basically representing four major aspects of the New Republic; the Jedi (Luke), law and justice (Leia, if she’s a senator), the military (Han, if he’s a general), and economics (Lando). I think some worldbuilding into how the republic functions should be explored through these characters as they move the story forward, except for the Jedi since they’re obviously a central focus, and Luke might very well be introduced after them, and the military will also get focus for obvious reasons, and Poe exists. The information definitely needs to be conveyed as efficiently and organically as possible through the story, because there’s two, likely three, equally important main characters and an unholy amount of secondary characters who aren’t exactly minor. 

May write more later idk. I need to be doing other stuff…

[thelordofdarkreunion]

Magnificent Scoundrels- Let Us Begin

Here we go!  The first meeting!  If you have any confusion or want any clarification, feel free to ask.  If you have any requests, comments, concerns, questions, or criticisms, feel free to tell me those as well.  Enjoy the story!

“There’s no way that this is gonna end well.”

“Really?  You think?  Governments from nine different separate realities, crossing every political spectrum imaginable, from theocratic xenophobes to neo-socialist utopians to democratic federalists and everything in between meeting in the same space with a ton of guns?  What are you talking about?  There’s no way this could end poorly!”

“Are we ready to go?”  The cameraman gave a thumbs up.  The news anchor smoothed a back mop that was probably more gel than hair at this point.  “And here we are, outside the beautiful Citadel Tower, where the governments of the nine new galaxies are meeting for the first time!  We already covered their arrival on the station, and what an arrival it was!” he continued with intense fake-cheerfulness.  “Now, they are meeting to discuss policy and open diplomatic negotiations.  And while we aren’t allowed inside, I’m sure it would be a sight to behold!”

Well this is certainly a sight to behold, thought Commander John Shepard to himself.  Not necessarily a good one, but a sight to behold nevertheless.  The meeting had started out well enough.  The various governments had filed in accordingly, filling the enlarged space completely.  He had been shocked at the sheer amount of different factions and races; there were over a hundred by his last count.  Governments he worked for, governments he knew of, governments he didn’t, governments that he had been told to keep an eye out for: everyone was here.  Dear lord.  

They all had their own bodyguards, of course, so the Council had ordered the Spectres all back to the Citadel.  Most of them, Shepard included, were now standing watch over the meeting.  Guns were out, ready to fire if something should happen.  The bodyguards were all tense, accustomed to being watched by professionals.  Well, most of them.  The mercenary Pilots hired by the Frontier Militia and the IMC looked relaxed enough, as did Drake.  The Galactic Empire’s Death Troopers were completely unreadable.  And the Imperium’s Tempestus Scions?  They seemed to be lining up firing solutions, eager to kill a room full of heretics and xenos on the drop of a hat.  Bloody great.  

The meeting had started off as well as could be expected.  The Council had opened with a greeting, welcoming everyone to the Citadel in the name of peace and cooperation.  Most of the governments had responded in kind.  Shepard had to admire the Imperium, who had given a rather weak and sickly greeting, then settled back to give death glares at everyone else.  At least they were honest, for the most part.  (Or maybe not.  He still didn’t know what was on board their ship.)  

It had steadily gone downhill from there.  The United Federation of Planets had objected to most everyone else's governing practices, especially the exclusion of other species.  The Galactic Assembly had pointed out that they let everyone join, no strings attached, and the Federation had conceded the point.  The IMC and Militia had objected, stating that there simply weren’t any aliens in their galaxy, otherwise they would let them join.  The Imperium had taken offense to this, stating that if a galaxy was ruled by humanity, there should be no reason to give it away to filthy xenos.  

The Nova Empire diplomats and Asari Councillor snapped back that their governments were older than humanity itself, and much more advanced, so show some respect.  The “sit down and let your betters talk” was left implied.  The Imperium had pointed out that they were ten thousand years old and ruled the galaxy with a fist of iron, and had actually told their detractors to shut up and sit down.  Adam Vir had interrupted with an utterly magnificent speech preaching the benefits of tolerance and cooperation.  That bought some respite… at least until the New Republic pointed out that since the entire delegation of the Galactic Empire was made up of war criminals, shouldn’t there be some restrictions on them?  The Militia had quickly followed suit, saying that they would not deal with the entirely criminal Interstellar Manufacturing Corporation.  At that point, all semblance of order had broken down.  

Currently, it was a scene of complete chaos.  The Imperium of Man was alternating between very pointedly not speaking to any non-human diplomats and screaming at the non-human diplomats about the honourless nature of aliens.  The Militia and IMC were yelling at each other about territory disputes and war crimes, and threatening to air out each other’s dirty laundry while Cooper and the 6-4 bodyguards of the Militia talked in underhanded tones to Kuben Blisk, leader of the IMC’s bodyguard detachment.  Why that was happening, Shepard had absolutely no idea.  Cooper and Blisk seemed to have some sort of history, and the 6-4 seemed nice enough.  

Thomas Drake and the Merchant’s Guild were presently sitting back with shit-eating grins on their faces, probably wondering how much money they could make if they sold weapons to everyone there.  Getting involved was bad for business.  

The New Republic was relatively calm, any of their diplomats who seemed to be ready to start something being stared down by Leia Organa, their de-facto leader.  Luke Skywalker sat nearby, looking alternatively amused at the chaos and annoyed at everyone’s incompetence.  

Their opposite number, the Galactic Empire, was one of the calmest groups present.  Several of the obviously military members of that delegation were itching to join in the conversation, nodding along with the Imperium of Man’s points.  However, every time one of them seemed to be on the verge of speaking up, their leader, a neatly uniformed blue-skinned man (Grand Admiral Thrawn, if Shepard remembered correctly) glared down at them with such intensity that they meekly went back to their seats.  At least someone had control of what they were doing.  

The United Federation of Planets seemed to be split evenly into two groups.  One was arguing constantly with everyone, pointing out with shocked voices all the horrible things each group had done.  They wore the faces of people who believed that they were completely morally superior in every respect, and having groups whose idea of a good government was “if they’re different, they’re inferior” did not resonate well with them.  The second group was made up of Kirk and several of the more level headed individuals trying to keep the peace.  They had just convinced the first sub-faction not to bring up the subject of xenophilia; if they had, Shepard was almost certain that a war would have started.  So thank whatever gods are up there that Kirk can read a room.

The galactic Assembly was presently fractionated and trying to argue with just about every group present, including themselves, simultaneously.  Adam Vir sat with his head in his hands, hopeless expression on his face.  At least he tried, though Shepard, unlike literally every other person here.  

The UNSC delegation looked lost, clearly seeming to think that the human supremacists had a point but realizing that it would be politically unwise to say anything.  Master Chief stood behind them, gold visor as expressionless as ever.  In fact, if Shepard did not know for a fact there was a man inside that suit, he might have mistaken the Chief for a particular large and detailed green statue.  

And his own government?  The Citadel Council?  The Turian representative was vehemently arguing with Anderson over the issue of human military supremacy and treaty violations while the Asari and Salarian Councillors shouted at everyone present, including each other.  

Quill and his crew were seated in between the human diplomats from his galaxy and those of the Nova Empire, and kept trying to make probably snide and inappropriate comments every time someone said something, only to be slapped down by an annoyed Gammora.  Vir actually mouthed ‘help’ in Shepard’s direction, as if he could do anything about this.  

Utter madness.  Fun times.  

It was around the point where people began going towards the extremely hot topic of A.I. legality when Shepard noticed something out of the corner of his eye.  One of the Spectres, guiding a group of armed figures in black body armor and full face masks into the room.  He looked closer.  The Spectres weren’t supposed to leave their posts unless it was for a very good reason.  What the…  The black armored soldiers stepped into the middle of the room, and in one fluid motion, drew their weapons from their hips, each aiming at a different delegation box, ready to fire… and were promptly turned into red paste from at least twenty different points.

Every diplomat in the room stopped what they were doing, looks of utter shock plastered on their faces.  It was quiet for one single, eternal moment, then everyone began shouting at once.  The bodyguards still had their weapons raised, ready to open fire on command.  

“What is this?  You had us come to kill us?”

“Treachery!”

“You obviously paid them off!  No one except you would do this!”

“How did this happen?  How did they get in here?”

“Inside help!  Who did this?”  Aw, shit.  Guns were at the ready, various guardians and even some of the diplomats squaring off against each other.  

“Whoh, hey!”  A singular voice called above the din, startling everyone.  Thomas Drake, black coat billowing, hands raised placatingly, addressed the various stunned and still twitchy diplomats.  “Calm down, everyone.  If any of you decides to do something stupid, we all lose.”  At least that had bought a little time.  “Now, if any of you actually noticed before you started to jump to conclusions, there was at least one assassin aiming at everyone present.  They were planning on killing everyone here.  I know quite a few of you present, and I know for a fact that none of you had anything like this planned.”  A few more bodyguards lowered their weapons.  “The question is, who did this, and why?”  Some of the diplomats nodded along with him.  Shepard saw Vir and Quill moving towards his position for a better vantage point.  But before anyone could say anything, the console of the Council started rapidly beeping.  Tevos answered it with alacrity.

“Yes?”

“Councillor!  The Citadel is under attack!  We have unknown and armed hostiles in the open!  There’s some sort of fleet coming, too!”  

“Great,” muttered Shepard.  But before anyone could react to this new information, the message abruptly cut off, along with most of the power save the lighting.  

“Double great,” muttered Vir, as he slid into position next to him.

And here.  We.  Go.  

[lothiriel84]

I Relate to the Sparrow

“Arthur,” Douglas clears his throat, the beginnings of a mildly problematic intuition stirring at the back of his mind. “You do know what ‘attractive’ means, right?”

“Of course I do,” Arthur scoffs, about as offended as he ever gets, which is to say, hardly at all. “What do you take me for?”

A Cabin Pressure ficlet. Acespec!Arthur, pre-canon. Title borrowed from Susannah Pearse's eponymous song cycle.

They’re sitting in an overpriced café in the main concourse of Prague Airport, enjoying the momentary respite from their employer’s sharp tongue – just a spot of Arthur-wrangling, nothing Carolyn couldn’t sort out in the blink of an eye, should she want to, but as they’re genuinely quite early there’s no real objection to letting the boy roam freely around the duty free area just a little longer. Not precisely the brightest of chaps, Arthur, but he’s really not all that bad, when you get to know him; and for all that he’s already witnessed countless displays of Carolyn’s maternal exasperation at her son’s misplaced attempts at making himself useful, he suspects no one would ever find the bodies of anyone who was foolish enough to dare touch a hair on Arthur’s head.

“What do you reckon?” Nigel nudges him, eyes darting sideways as a gorgeous specimen of the flight attendant persuasion walks past them, her pristine uniform doing a rather marvellous job at putting her long legs and delectable backside on display.

“Hmm. Not too bad,” he agrees easily, taking a sip of his alcohol-free passion fruit martini. “Reminds me of one of my old flames, actually.”

Well, not so much an old flame as a mutually enjoyable layover in Bern, somewhen between wife number one and wife number two. He’s certainly had his fair share of fun in his brief spells of singlehood in between marriages, not to mention his early days as a bright-eyed and bushy-tailed first officer at Air England.

“What about that one?” he drawls at length, glass subtly raised to point at a stunning redhead strolling down the concourse, her low-cut dress leaving very little to the imagination. “Ten to one says she wouldn’t think twice about jumping into bed with an airline captain.”

“Well, we could scarcely call ourselves ‘an airline’, but I take your point,” Nigel concedes at length. “Carol’s best friend’s a redhead, and she’s always on about her latest conquests. Makes you wonder, you know.”

The rustle of several bags signals Arthur’s approach, mercifully without any sign of an irritable Carolyn hot on his heels for a change. “Hello, chaps,” he greets them, looking if anything even jollier than his usual self, which is something of an accomplishment when it comes to someone whose entire personality could be summed up as ‘perpetually cheerful’. “Did you know they have four different types of Toblerone in the duty free shop?”

At his side, Nigel sighs almost imperceptibly, and downs the rest of his virgin mojito. It’s not that he doesn’t get on well enough with Arthur, he even told Douglas as much on the first leg of one of their earliest intercontinental flights together; he just happens to find constant chatter a little tiresome, and who can blame him when he’s married to the most talkative woman this side of the English Channel. Not that Douglas ever had the occasion to exchange more than a few pleasantries with Carol, which is just as well, given how Helena seems to hold some kind of long-standing grudge against the woman for reasons she never actually cared to explain.

“Care for a spot of bird-watching, Arthur?” he says instead, keen on forestalling any potential diplomatic issue between his captain and their employer’s only son and heir. “Nigel and I spotted a few truly remarkable specimens earlier on.”

Arthur blinks, confusion apparent on his face. “Birds? How did they even get in here?”

“They’re not actual birds, Arthur,” Nigel explains, only just managing to stop himself from rolling his eyes. “We’re talking about women.”

“Ooh, I get it,” Arthur nods, plainly not getting it in the slightest. “What about them?”

“Attractive women,” Douglas clarifies, as if talking to a twelve year old. “It’s who can get most in however long it takes for Carolyn to hunt us down and shout us back to our respective duties.”

“Brilliant. How about that girl sitting on the bench, the one with the book? She looks like she’d give really good hugs.”

The two pilots exchange a surreptitious, disbelieving look at that, which goes completely over Arthur’s head. Each to their own and all that jazz, but for all that he’s got a good thirty years on her, Douglas can think of at least a dozen plausible scenarios off the top of his head in which he’d very much rather take a rain check.

“Suit yourself,” Nigel shrugs at length, twirling his empty glass so that the melting ice cubes clink against one another. “I can see at least four other people from where I’m sitting that I’d rather take to bed, and I’m not even counting that gentleman in the indigo suit over there.”

“How do you mean?” Arthur frowns, looking like he’s slowly and earnestly puzzling over the meaning of that sentence in his head.

“I mean,” Nigel huffs, pinching at the bridge of his nose in what is most likely a desperate attempt to keep himself from snapping at his boss’ offspring. “We’re not all straight here. I believe we’ve been through this before.”

“Oh!” Arthur’s eyes widen, almost comically, and then he’s shaking his head. “No, not the you being bisexual bit, I know that. I meant the bit about taking random strangers to bed.”

“Arthur,” Douglas clears his throat, the beginnings of a mildly problematic intuition stirring at the back of his mind. “You do know what ‘attractive’ means, right?”

“Of course I do,” Arthur scoffs, about as offended as he ever gets, which is to say, hardly at all. “What do you take me for?”

As luck would have it, Carolyn picks that exact moment to emerge from the crowd, phone still in hand. “Ah, there you are, drivers. I bring good news.”

“Absolutely not, Carolyn,” Nigel interrupts her before she can get another word in. “I don’t care if it’s the Queen herself, tomorrow’s our first day off in weeks, and I’m not going to give up on that.”

“O ye of little faith,” Carolyn sighs dramatically, and just like that, the entire conversation is forgotten.

.

A week later they’re on standby, and it’s just the two of them in the Portakabin – Nigel having apparently decided he feels lucky enough to brave the airfield canteen for a latte and whatever it is they’re trying to pass off today as pastries – when Arthur approaches him, and from the look on his face, he’s been ruminating about this for quite a long time.

“Douglas,” the boy begins, somewhat hesitantly. “Do you mind if I ask you a question?”

“You just did,” he sighs, putting his pencil down and pushing the crosswords further away on his desk. “Go on.”

“I mean, it’s kind of a personal question. You don’t have to, if you’d rather not.”

“I’m not telling you how I got your mother’s Talisker off the plane, if that’s what you’re planning to ask,” he ventures, and that seems enough to momentarily derail Arthur’s train of thought.

“Wasn’t going to ask about that, actually,” Arthur shakes his head at length. “You know that game you and Nigel were playing in Prague?”

Douglas nods, slowly. “Bit sexist, I’ll give you that. Still, just a spot of harmless fun, hey? No harm done.”

“Yes, no, I mean – I’m still not sure what it was all about.”

“Come on, Arthur, I distinctly remember you mentioning at least two different girlfriends ever since I started out here at MJN Air. You can’t be seriously suggesting you didn’t at least have an idea as to what was going on there.”

“But,” Arthur pleads, a faint note of distress starting to tinge his voice. “You and Nigel, you’re both married, right?”

Douglas is suddenly reminded of everything he’s managed to piece together about Carolyn’s ex-husband – Arthur’s father – so far, and quickly realises he’d better tread carefully now. “Yes, we are, Arthur. I promise neither of us was seriously planning on cheating on our respective wives; it was more of a hypothetical question, you know – something along the lines of, who would you rather sleep with if you weren’t married. Not one out best moments, as far as game material goes, but there you go.”

“Yes, but – I was wondering, how can you tell?”

“How can I tell what, exactly?” It’s Douglas’s turn to start feeling confused, if he’s perfectly honest. Not that he’d ever admit that out loud.

“That you’d like to, you know. With them.”

“Arthur,” that half-formed idea from a week ago is back now, and it’s getting more and more disturbing by the moment. “Are you trying to tell me that you’ve never – ”

He trails off, struggling to reassess the situation to the very best of his judgement. “Not,” he hastens to add, “that there’s anything wrong with that.”

“Oh, you mean sex,” Arthur nods his head sagely. “Yes, I’ve done that.”

“Right,” Douglas feels pretty much like he’s grasping at straws now, but he’s still determined to see this through, whatever this is. “So, you must have been able to tell, that you wanted to. That you were attracted to them.”

“Well, that was easy. They were my girlfriends, of course I knew I fancied them. How does it work with someone you’ve never even spoken to?”

“Surely, with each of your girlfriends, you had to go through a stage in which they were but strangers you’d only just met?”

Arthur tilts his head to one side, considering. “I suppose so, yeah. I still didn’t know I wanted to have sex with them back then, though.”

“It’s not – you’re making it a bigger deal than it actually is. You were attracted to them, that’s the point. Doesn’t matter the exact moment you decided to act on it, so to speak.”

“But, I mean – with your wives, you didn’t just – I don’t know, look at someone walking past you on the street and go, oh, I know I’d like to have sex with them one day.”

“It was precisely like that with the current Mrs Richardson, in point of fact,” he points out, though he elects to omit the – neither small nor insignificant – detail that he didn’t so much bump into Helena on a stroll through the park as she was one of the bridesmaids at his second wedding.

“Oh. Okay. No, it doesn’t work like that for me at all.”

Douglas can almost hear the wheels inside his own head finally click into gear. His daughter would be appalled if she knew he’d put most of her half-hour lecture on sexual orientations and gender identities out of his mind as soon as she was finished with it, but he hasn’t precisely forgotten it, either. “If I recall correctly, some people experience sexual attraction differently than most. As in, some might not experience it at all, while others do but only occasionally, or under very specific circumstances. I’m not saying that might be your case, but I believe it could be something worth looking into, should you feel like you want to.”

For the longest of moments, Arthur stands stock still, turning the idea over and over in his mind. “Wow,” he exhales at length. “That’s just – wow. Thank you, Douglas.”

Before he knows it, he finds himself with an armful of Arthur, looking for all the world like he’s out on a mission to put the ‘bear’ into ‘bear hug’.

“Oh dear,” Carolyn’s voice makes itself heard from where she’s only just materialised in the doorway, clearly debating whether or not she has the energy to deal with whatever nonsense is going on in there. “Please tell me it’s not Hug Your Pilot Day, again.”

“That’s not even a thing,” Douglas protests, only to think better of it. It’s Arthur they’re talking about, after all.

“Don’t be silly, Mum,” Arthur grins, unrepentant. “That’s not until May.”

“Someone give me strength,” Carolyn huffs under her breath, even as her son plants a quick peck on her cheek and dashes off, only narrowly avoiding knocking Nigel – who appears to have finally found his way back to the Portakabin – over in the process.

“This is going to be a long day,” Nigel announces philosophically to no one in particular, and resumes his usual place behind his desk.