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dean-winchesters-gardian-angel · 4 years ago

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You’re Still My Favourite Star

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Summary: It’s hard to read people when you’re stuck in your head. Both Dean and Y/N are lost in a battle with themselves, afraid to lose the other. Don’t worry, they figure it out eventually.

Word count: 5669

Warnings: what warnings? Probably like fluff and angst.

A/N: Okay okay okay so this is the first fanfic ever really written let alone posted so do what you will with it and enjoy… I guess. I hope to post more but no promises. Let me know what you think. See you on the other side. Unbeta’d all mistakes are mine!

Masterlist

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The pranks had escalated. She feared for her life at this point. Maybe the glitter was a step too far. He had given her a three-second count down and she took advantage, running as fast as she could as she shrieked for Dean to save her. Naturally, Dean pulled out his gun and took stance to protected her. Ready to kill what ever was coming after her, he spots her smiling from ear to ear. She practically jumped into his arms as she giggled. Dean couldn’t help but smile. He’d had a crush — that’s what he chooses to call it because if he admitted to loving her he wouldn’t know how to act around her — on her since the day they had met. He had only grown fonder of her the longer she stayed with the Winchester’s. She clung to him as he chuckled holding her against himself, smiling wildly.

“What’s going on?”

She turned her head and noticed Sam marching over to them, a dangerous smirk on his face, pacified by the glitter on his eyelashes and lips. She faced Dean and in a teasing matter proceeded to explain.

“Dean I don’t have much time. I threw a glitter bomb at Sam and now he’s gonna kill me you have to save me, Dean, we have to get outta here.”

He looked over at Sammy only to laugh before she hit his chest.

“We have to go now!”

“Oh gosh you’re right we gotta go now. Y/N he’s gonna kill you lets go.” He kept up the life or death act as he took her hand and pulled her towards the car before both consecutively hopping into Baby and driving off, leaving Sam in the rear view mirror, arms in the sky.

Y/N and Dean laughed for a solid five minutes before Y/N stopped abruptly.

“Wait, Dean, we ditched Sam he’s gonna be ultra pissed!”

“Nah he’ll be fine he’s probably just gonna hot-wire a car and drive back to the motel.”

“Guess that means we can’t go back to the motel then huh. If Sammy’s there. Might die.”

Dean chuckled and side-eyed her as he drove. She looked up at him through her eyelashes. There was glitter on her cheek, probably from the process of making the glitter bomb. With her sitting in his passenger seat, her hair a little wild from running, a smile decorating her face, and her left leg tucked up under the other, hands between them, she faced him. In that moment Dean felt a surge of confidence, acting more like his cocky self he is around other girls. Generally, he’s more shy around her, taken aback by her confidence and goofiness.

“I guess you right sweetheart, can’t go back there now that Sammy is gonna get you. That leaves you and me and Baby. Where we going.” A smirk adorned his face, accompanied by a wink he sends her way making her smile wider.

“Stop at the next pullout big boy. I want to show you something.” Dean nearly choked on her reply. Not only because of the words she used but because of the way she said it. A hushed sexual voice really, that affected Dean more than he’d care to admit. In a split second, she’s herself again, giddy and energetic, a stark contrast to the sensual act she pulled mere moments ago.

“Do I even want to know”

“Of course you do. We’re stopping at the next pull out so I can show you something you rarely get to see. Or at least I think you rarely get to see it.”

“Do I get a hint?”

“Absolutely.” She paused before finishing “Not.”

She laughed at her own joke and pats a hand on his chest in a reassuring manner.

“Oh come on Dean it’s nothing bad. And nothing you haven’t seen before. Just not often. And that was funny. Relax a little. Just ‘cause our job is heartbreaking and difficult doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy the time we have when we aren’t on a case. You gotta learn to relax. Take a breath. Smile a little. You’ve got an excellent smile, Dean. Use it once in a while.” She was tickling him to get him to smile and it had worked despite his better efforts. She was the one person who could put him in a carefree mood and it scared him. Terrified him to no end that a single human being could make him that happy. But she did and she didn’t even have to try. All she had to do is look in his direction, call his name from down the hall, nudge him in passing, wish him goodnight on her way to bed. His life had an incredibly bright light that bounced around, was loud, and unconventional with her temperament. More commonly described as a child, Y/N didn’t care about anything or anyone’s opinion, simply chose to be unconditionally happy. Dean had fallen into an easy pattern with her. She was the one he’d go to with his nightmares and dark thoughts. The one he’d ask to join him on a supply runs just for some company or a drive down an empty road for some space. Essentially, she was the one he had an un-discussed relationship with. Little did she know Dean had been dating her in his head since they met. ‘She has a boyfriend’, that is if you asked Dean for her number or name at a bar.

“There! Right there, Dean! Stop right there!”

He chuckled pointing at the spot she’d chosen.

“That’s not even a pullout!”

“Yeah but it’s perfect just pull over Dean no ones around!”

He did as he was told putting Baby in park on a gravel patch in the middle of the open interstate.

“Okay, now what.” He asked, pulling the keys out of the ignition and carelessly chucking them onto the dash. Dean threw his arm over the bench and turned to her, eyebrows raised in a questioning manner. She didn’t say anything, opting for action rather than explanation as she hopped out of the sleek impala. When Dean didn’t follow she dipped her head back in the passenger door with a wavering bitch face.

“Get your ass out here. Oh and turn the music back on.”

Dean grew a crooked grin and huffed out a laugh before reigniting the stereo and getting out of the car himself.

Y/N was staring up at the sky, eyes shimmering with moonlight and a smile laid softy upon her lips.

“Look.” She told him, holding out her hand to him blindly, which he eagerly took. She glanced at him quickly as he approached her.

“Up.”

And so he did. Just as she said, what he was now gazing upon was nothing he hadn’t seen before, though he was only now realizing how much he’d missed them. She hadn’t let go of his hand and he hadn’t, by any means, suggested she do so. After a minute or so he’d walked back a smidge breaking Y/Ns focus from the night sky and bringing it to him. She watched as he sat on the hood of his esteemed Baby and invited her over with a glance, or rather a nod to the spot next to him. She graciously accepted, sitting closer to him than he’d expected, resting her head on his shoulder. Dean tugged her closer, putting his arm around her and pulling her back so that both of them were comfortably leaning against the windshield looking up.

“Is this what you wanted to show me.”

“Is this not enough. What’d you think I was gonna show you?” She asked with a smirk, looking up at him. Dean didn’t answer, instead smirking in return.

“Dean Winchester, you didn’t!?”

Deans smirk grew to a laugh as he pulled her closer kissing her forehead.

“Of course not sweetheart. No, I thought you were finally gonna show me how you got your beard to look like that ‘cause I mean mine is nowhere near as nice as yours.” He touched her chin.

“Hey! I don’t have a beard!” She giggled profusely, but he had settled down, watching her laugh for as long as he could.

“No, but you’ve got some glitter on that pretty face of yours.” He said as he touched her nose.

“Oh ya I was saving it for later,” She replied sarcastically “you want some? Here.”

She gathered the glitter from her cheek and smeared it on Deans in a warrior fashion.

“‘We want a touchdown, We want a touchdown!’.” she giggled again making Dean’s heart melt for the 78th time in 2 hours.

“There now we’re matching. Only yours is cooler.” She had painted the glitter on his cheekbones as though he was watching the local unicorns win a football game.

She looked him in the eyes trying to gauge his reaction to her youthful behaviour, only to be met by stunningly green eyes that bore into her soul, a gentle smile on his face as he watched her intently. He hadn’t noticed he’d been staring and she didn’t say anything to deter him. Alternatively, in the heat of the moment, one may say, Y/N leaned over him and placed a tender kiss on his waiting lips. She hadn’t planned this by any means, though she had dreamt of it quite literally. He was her superhero fantasy in a way, or at least that’s how she would describe him. She had never dared allow herself to imagine Dean Winchester kissing back at all let alone in the tentative fashion that was the heaven she currently found herself in. His strong hand cradled her delicate features as he kissed her in return. Before he even had the chance to comprehend the situation she had pulled away and gotten off the hood of the car.

“Oh, gosh, Dean I’m so sorry I just, I don’t even know what that was, I’m so sorry I really didn’t mean to I promise.” She turned to him gracefully touching her lips where his lay mere moments ago. Dean was unsure what to say. He wanted to tell her it was okay. More than okay. He wanted to beg her to do it again. But she had promised him she hadn’t meant it leaving him to waver in his confidence. Maybe she really hadn’t meant it. Maybe she felt pity for him. Dean closed his eyes in sadness and anger. Running his hand through his tousled hair he said the only thing he could,

“It’s fine sweetheart, really.”

“So I haven’t gone and ruined our friendship in one fell swoop.” Y/N was breathing heavily desperate to fix what she believed she had nearly lost with a single stupid action.

Dean could feel his heart tighten in his chest, his eyes grew watery as he struggled to get his next words out.

“No, we’re just fine, don’t you worry about that.”

There was a pause before Y/N spoke hoping to alleviate the tension.

“Maybe we should just head back, hey Dean? Sam’s probably wondering where we went anyway.”

‘Stay with me. Be with me. Kiss me again, but this time don’t pull away, don’t apologize. Let me hold you again. Let’s look at the stars together and you can point out all your favourite while I watch your eyes scan over the sky. And then when you turn to me asking what my favourite star is, I’ll tell you I’m holding it. Tell you my favourite star is the brightest one I’ve ever seen, tell you that you are my favourite star, my favourite good morning my favourite goodnight. Favourite smile, laugh, voice, hug, hand to hold.’

Instead, he turned back to the car and got in without a word. If only he could bring the words in his head to the tip of his tongue. If only he could tell her the truth. Y/N knew they were going to have to talk about it but she feared the outcome of the conversation. Expecting Dean to never want to speak with her again. She had ruined the only relationship she had ever truly cared about.

The drive back we sparse of noise, save for the Zeppelin tape playing quietly on the stereo. Neither had dared make a sudden movement such as to turn off the tape, both relishing in the lack of conversation. Y/N had stolen a few glances at Dean noticing his big glossy eyes, wanting to explain herself and apologize once more, but refrained from doing so. It hurt her to see him this way though she didn’t understand. When they arrived at the motel, Dean parked Baby in front of their shared room, cutting off the engine. Neither one nor the other moved from their spot in Baby’s upholstery. Dean sat with his hands in lap staring down at them, too afraid to look Y/N in the eyes fearing that if he did he’d lose control; either kiss her without hesitation or break down and cry all the tears he’d been holding back. Both options were ones he’d like to avoid, and so without a word, he began to reach for the door handle just as she spoke.

“Dean, I’m really sorry, can we just forget about it please?”

“Would you stop apologizing!” He’d scared her, he could see it now as he’d turned to her with his outburst. Y/N had slumped down in her seat leaning against the door, arms over her body in hopes of shrinking and sheltering herself. Dean’s rage and unanticipated movement had shaken loose the tears that had been desperately clinging to his eyes. Sam opened the door to the motel emerging in his PJs no longer covered in glitter. The minor distraction had allowed for Y/N to slip out of the car and past Sam into the room.

“Dean? What happen, did I cock-block you.” Sam was laughing at the situation missing the tension between his brother and the girl he knew Dean had loved since she had burst her way into their life. “I heard the car pull up but no one came in so I came out to check and—“ Dean didn’t answer his little brother, shoving passed him into the room after locking Baby up for the night.

The rest of the evening was filled with questioning glances from Sam and in return; angry and sad one from Dean and Y/N respectively. Dean took the couch mostly because he had already fallen asleep on it as had Y/N on the bed. When Sam was sure his brother was lost in his slumber, he proceeded to wake the girl that lay on the bed across from him. As she stirred he whispered at her pulling her from rest.

“Y/N? Wake up. We need to talk.”

Those words startled her awake, calling for Dean, thinking he was the one waking her to tell her that she couldn’t stay with them any longer.

“It just me Y/N relax. What happened to you guys, you ran off like a pair of giddy kids and came back the complete opposite. Explain.” “Sam, really, nothing happened. It was a stupid little mistake, I wasn’t thinking and made a mistake. It was an accident and now Dean is thoroughly pissed with me. I’ve tried apologizing but he yelled at me not to, so there isn’t much else to do. Tomorrow he’s gonna tell me to leave and I will. I don’t want more conflict than I’ve already conjured.”

“Okay first off; you’re both children, I don’t know what you did but considering no ones dead or injured he’ll get over it. Secondly; he’s not kicking you out ‘cause if he does I’m going with, just to prove how stupid he’s being, so that won’t happen, you don’t have to worry about that. And thirdly; would you just tell me what you did so I can better assess the situation?”

“I kissed him. We were looking a the stars and I — I looked at him and he was smiling at me and he looked happy and the feeling of him being happy in that situation, with me in his arms just the two of us, not a soul to be seen, it was overwhelming and I leaned over and kissed him without even thinking of how he might not want me to. About how we’re friends and I could ruin everything we have. I immediately jump off and apologized though, I thought I could still save that sliver of friendship I hadn’t destroyed but I was too late.”

Sam was chuckling as he hung his head shaking it.

“Sam it’s not funny. I can’t lose him, I can’t lose either of you.”

“He is such an idiot. Y/N was it spur of the moment, or have you liked him for a while. I wasn’t just a one-time thing was it.”

“That’s not the point Sam, I sacred him and ruined everything…”

“Scared him; yes, but he’s afraid of flying so that’s nothing special, ruined everything? Never, at least not with a kiss. And… that is the point, isn’t it, you like him that why you kissed him… I’ll talk to him”

“No! You can’t! If you do he’ll know I told you and that would just make it worse. Like I’d rather talk to his brother than him.”

“Don’t worry Y/N, I’ll just ask him what happened I won’t mention anything you told me. Promise. Go back to sleep, we can deal with this in the morning.”

With that, she laid her head on her pillow and did her best to drift back into the sleep she had been pulled from.

When Y/N awoke the next morning, Sam was only just putting on his running shoes. She glanced at the clock and groaned in response to the early hour.

“Morning Y/N.”

“Morning Sam.” She replied as she flopped back onto the bed. “You going for a run?”

“Yeah, should be back before he wakes up so…” He nodded in his brothers direction, huffing out a laugh at the uncomfortable-looking position Dean lay in.

“I’ll be fine Sam, don’t rush.”

Sam only nodded in acknowledgment waving at her as he closed the door behind him. Y/N took the morning slowly, inching out of the bed as quietly as she could to prevent waking the sleeping body. Y/N strode over to the coffee machine and set it up, turning it on only to jump and the loud noise it made. Her heart was racing as she bent over, bracing herself on her knees doing her best to calm her breathing. She instantly remembered Dean and looked over to see him tucking his gun back into his folded pants on the coffee table next to him.

“Sorry, Dean…”

“I told you to stop apologizing.” He sat on the couch rubbing the sleep from his eyes, sniffling a little. He glanced at the clock groaning at the early hour. If she hadn’t had just been startled she would laugh at the similarity of their actions which in turn would have made Dean happy because when she’s happy, he’s happy. But she didn’t.

“I was saying sorry for waking you up, not the k— not last night.”

“Right. Sorry…” Dean looked around the room noticing his brother wasn’t around to be a buffer. “Sammy go for his run?”

“Yeah, left maybe ten, fifteen minutes ago?”

“Great.” Y/N could only hear his word in a sarcastic tone making her think the worst. Dean got up as Y/N finished up making the coffee, making his way to the bathroom. He passed her in only his underwear and shirt, such were his PJs, jeans under his arm, running his hand over her shoulder and back, a customary occurrence with the two of them, though she had been on edge ever since the kiss, making her flinched under his touch. It didn’t go unnoticed as he looked at her. She opened her mouth to apologize again but before she could get the words out he snickers with a hand dismissing her ’sorry’ as he walked away. Dean entered the bathroom looking himself in the mirror momentarily. Cursing himself under his breath. He put on his pants and went to reach for the cups that were usually supplied at a motel only to remember that they had been placed by the coffee machine outside. When Dean opened the door he hadn’t expected to see her crying at the table with her cup of coffee, in fact, this was the first time he had ever seen her cry. She was always happy, always smiling or laughing, and most often both. It broke through the shell he had built up by trying to ignore her. Instantly, Dean rushed over and called for her, kneeling down next to her chair.

“Hey! Y/N, what’s wrong? What happened? Are you hurt?” As if Sams timing had a grudge against the eldest brother, the long-haired goon walked it all hot and sweaty from his run. Noticing Y/N right away his first reaction was to blame his brother given what Y/N had told him the night before.

“Dean, what did you do to her!?”

“What did ‘I’ do to her!?” He got up, facing his brother, his hand still on Y/N shoulder as she watched the brothers interaction. “Why do I always, always get the blame!” With that Dean grabbed his jacket his keys and his boots, walking out without even putting them on. Seconds later the sound of Baby turning over engulfed their ears followed by burning rubber, then silence. Y/N got up and followed Deans actions grabbing her jacket and boots though she put hers on before marching out to god knows where.

“Man those two better talk to each other before I rat ‘em both out.” Sam mumbled to himself before taking a shower and a coffee.

~~~~~~~~~~

Dean drove and drove and drove for hours trying to work out a way to tell her, trying to work out her reaction to his confession. At the rate they were at now it seemed as though he was bound to lose her whether he spoke to her or not. He figured he was better off explaining himself and his reaction and lose her, then ironically driving her away with the fear of losing her. That was it, he had decided, he was going to go back to the motel and tell Sam to go for a walk so he could talk to her. With a plan in mind, he returned to the parking spot he was pulling out of earlier that day and making his way to the door dividing him from his future.

Meanwhile, Y/N walked. She hadn’t stopped, not realizing how long she had been walking until she lifted her head as her feet grew tired. She wasn’t far from the edge of town, no far off from where she had stupidly kissed him the night before. She laughed at her self conscious that had lead her here. She’d be at the spot in just under an hour had she kept walking but she was tired and rightfully so. Y/N spotted a bench in the park off the interstate and took a seat leaning her head back as she watched the sunset over the valley of kids on the playground. She’d had plenty of time to think between shops she’d stopped in to either look around and take her mind off things or find something to eat. She had established in her mind that whether she or Sam liked it, it was inevitable that she would be kicked out, if not she’d leave on her own. Y/N no longer wanted for Dean to be mad at her and so that was what she would do. She would move on, she had come to terms with that. But she wouldn’t leave without explaining herself to him first. She didn’t want to leave him in the dark anymore. As she pulled out her phone to call them for a lift — she wasn’t the biggest fan of walking back right now — she noticed the 13 missed calls from both Sam and Dean. Guilt washed over her but before she had the chance to call them back she heard the familiar purr of Baby’s engine. Y/N lifter her gaze from her phone to the tired and puffy eyes hanging out the window of the ’67 chevy. With one arm out the window he gestured for her to come over and she did. As she approached the car she held up her phone.

“Sorry, I was so in my head that I—“

“Y/N. Stop. Stop apologizing.” This time he wasn’t angry “Just stop apologizing and get in. We need to talk.” Dean was smiling shyly but his words had confirmed her notion. With shaky hands and a nearly defining pulse, she opened the passenger door and got in.

“When I got back to the motel, Sammy asked me if you were with me and I panicked. We tried calling you but you wouldn’t pick up so I had Sammy track your phone.” Dean answered her unvoiced question as he pulled away from the curb, driving out of town.

“Where are you going the motels behind us.”

“I told you; we need to talk.”

“Yeah, but…” she didn’t want to argue with him more than she already had and so she turned back towards the open road he’d started on.

He drove until he reached the gravel patch they had stopped at less than 24 hours ago.

“Dean I—“

“Wait just, Y/N I have to tell you something and I—“

“I need to go first, Dean. Please.” Dean nodded bracing his heart for the worst as they faced each other. It took her a minute to find the words, licking her lips when she would try to talk only to bite it back along with the words. Dean waited patiently because deep down he knew, or so he thought, how this would end, and the longer he had with her, even in the silence they sat in, was better than the anticipated ending.

“Dean, I’m sorry—“

“Sweetheart I already told you—“

“No, Dean just let me finish please I have to say this and if I don’t it’s just gonna eat away at me and I don’t want that.” Her eyes were squeezed closed half expecting another outburst half expecting herself to implode.

“Okay.”

“Dean Winchester, I’m sorry for kissing you and making a mess of things. I know I shouldn’t have done it, I know I should have thought before I did anything stupid but evidently, I didn’t. It was impulsive. It just felt right in the moment with you looking at me, holding me against your warm body in the cold air I— you looked happy and part of me wanted to believe that I was the reason for the smile on your face and that same part of me was the one that made me kiss you. I wish I could say it was an accident but, honestly Dean, I’ve been dreaming about that kiss since about a week after we meet. I’m sorry I flinched after you touched my shoulder this morning. I just had it in my head that you were mad at me and I was already on edge Dean, it wasn’t ‘cause it was you. I was crying this morning because I thought you were going to kick me out and I really didn’t want that because you and Sammy are all I have.” Y/N was on the brink of crying for the second time today and she moved to exit the car abruptly. Dean followed her out just as fast wanting to console her but also to tell she has nothing to worry about. “I’m sorry I messed things up and I understand if you want me to leave. In fact, if I had been smart enough when leaving the motel after you this morning, I’d have brought my bag with me.” Her body shook as her tears blurred her vision of the man that stood in front of her. Had she been able to see him clearly she would have noticed his broken demeanour and the hurting expression on his face but alas.

“Are you done?” She could hear him choke back a sob and she looked up wiping her tears away with her sleeve as he did the same the one tear he let slip. All she did was nod.

“My turn then. I wasn’t the one to pull away from that kiss Y/N you were. You’re the one who freaked out right away. And then you went on saying you didn’t mean to. You know how that made me feel? Like you pitied me. Like I wasn’t someone you’d actually kiss. You were right though, you were the reason I was happy Y/N, you’re always the reason I’m happy. I wanted to tell you there and then that I love you that I wanted you to kiss me again but you — you were too concerned with saving our friendship. And I was too concerned about my own pride to tell you those things only to get rejected by the only one I’ve ever genuinely care about.” He looked down to his feet which he’d now focused on in between small glances at her or their surroundings, no longer able to hold her gaze. He knew he had to look at her now though. If anything was going to happen, it had to be initiated with eye contact. When he finally laid his eyes on her all he wanted to do was hold her, wipe her tears away, tell her everything was going to be okay. But he couldn’t, not this time, because this time he was the reason she’d been crying, though she’d stopped, and he knew that.

“You love me?” Accentuating her words as she pointed to Dean and then herself, hand still visibly shaking. He didn’t dare break eye contact as he nodded his reply and she nodded in return, processing his admission. She sniffled a little more wiping more at her eyes still nodding slightly unsure of how to proceed.

“You love me.” She said again and this time Dean laughed out a ‘yeah’ also wiping away the remainder of his tears.

“Okay, so Dean here’s the deal,” he looked at her with fear in his eyes still expecting rejection “I’m gonna kiss you again because I really want to and not because I pity you because you’re someone I want to kiss. And this time I’m not gonna pull away and apologize. Okay?” He nodded again and with shaky legs Y/N stepped forward and grabbed onto his collar pulling him closer. She placed her lips on his as her heart raced out of control. Dean kissed back instantaneously but took a few seconds to get his hand to move around her waist. The kiss wasn’t greedy or rushed rather desirous and mindful. Dean practically stumbled back taking her with him until his legs hit the car they had piled out of. Dean sat on the hood breaking the kiss to both catch his breath and to hold her closer, enveloping her in his embrace. He sat there hugging her closely as long as he could only pulling away a smidge to look her in the eyes to answer her question.

“You okay?” His eyes were on hers as he nodded.

“I’m sorry I made you cry. You never cry you’re always happy and then I come along and make you cry.” He brushed his thumb over her cheek as he whispered to her. She chuckled at him.

“You think I’m always happy?”

“Every time I see you you’re grinning from ear to ear.” He tucked some loose locks behind her ear.

“Dean, I’m ‘grinning ear to ear’ when I see you. I’m not always happy. Sure I may be more optimistic than some but I’m hardly always happy. You’re the one who makes me happy. I’m happy when you’re around.”

“Really?!”

“Don’t sound so surprised Dean.” But he was surprised. Never could he imagine being the reason for someone else’s happiness. He looked at her and blushed.

“You’re blushing.” She smiled at him gracing his cheek with her delicate touch. Dean dropped his head to her shoulder in an effort to hid it and laughed into her jacket. Y/N pushed him back against the car and hopped up next to him leaning against him the same way she had the night before. Y/N looked back up to the sky and once again Dean watched her. She turned in his grip and looked at him, the same look on his face, smile and all, as the night before.

“You look happy.”

“It’s because of you.”

This time when she leaned over him and finally made contact she could feel him kiss back. Last time she had been too caught up in her own actions to register his response but this time she knew. This time she didn’t spring off him, didn’t apologize. She would tell him later that night that she loved him in return but for the time being, she cozied up into his body as they both look up at the sky. She pointed a few out, earning a chuckle here and there for her explanation and reasons she like those particular ones. Just as Dean played it out in his head the night before she turned to him. But what she said wasn’t what his mind had conjured up for him.

“But at the end of the day, you’re still my favourite star, Dean Winchester.”

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#fanfic #spn #superntural #Dean Winchester x you #dean winchester #Dean Winchester x reader #Dean x you #Dean x reader #spnfamily #spn fanfic

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arabhamlet · 4 years ago

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why you should read the heartless divine

hello guys! i haven’t used tumblr in a while, so i hope i tag this correctly, but i really needed to write this post to promote a book i think many, many people will enjoy reading for a number of reasons, and i figured i should give it a shot.

the heartless divine is varsha ravi’s debut novel, self-published last november through amazon. it is a ya fantasy romance inspired by mythology and sangam era india, and you can purchase it as an ebook or as a physical copy on amazon.

i 100% recommend it to anyone who enjoys mythology, reincarnation/soulmates, tragic but tender star-crossed romance (and not in a generic ya way either), or just anything with complex plot, character, and relationships—which, i realize, basically means everyone, but in my defence it is really good and worth a read no matter who you are.

what’s it about?

the heartless divine follows two paralleling narratives. the first is set in the distant past, and follows suri, a princess forced into being an assassin by her warlike family, as she is betrothed to the boy king of a neighbouring land after being assigned the task to kill him once the wedding is complete, only to find her plans going off-kilter when she encounters kiran, a strange prophet who predicts his own incoming death and the catastrophe soon to occur. the second is set in modern-day, and follows a reincarnated suri, with no memories of her past life, who finds her life inexplicably tied to a changed kiran, who she does not remember but who remembers her.

the plot is a bit more complex than this, and this is really just a quick summary, but more than that it’s a story about humans and our relationships to each other, to mortality, and to fate.

i highly recommend it - it can be a little slow to start off with, but once the historical plot starts going i found it pretty much impossible to put down. even though it’s been a few months since i read it, i find myself going back to it pretty much constantly. it’s fantastic both as a ya novel to read for fun, and as something far more complex with so many themes, characters, and dynamics to unpack.

but if you need a bit more encouragement:

why should i read it?

as i mentioned, the plot is incredibly engaging. unlike a lot of ya, as well, the heartless divine is super character-based and has incredibly strong characters in its protagonists. the past storyline also has a running mystery - and the reveal at the end as to who is the real villain definitely caught me off-guard on my first read. the past storyline is also deeply tragic in many ways, hitting you emotionally to great effect, and the climax is absolutely one of the most impactful climaxes of any ya book i’ve ever read—i’m making an effort not to spoil anything while writing this, because the pure emotional punch of the climax should be read completely blind.

ravi’s writing is absolutely gorgeous. she has an incredible command over the written word and wrote some incredibly amazing prose in this book. her writing is at once poetic and also incredibly versatile, fitting into beautiful romantic declarations and sharp dialogue and tense scenes of conflict. i won’t include any massive chunks, but here are some of my favourite lines:

Where does the divinity go, then? he had asked her. She had shrugged. To the sky. That is where all divinity goes after it is dead. But the sky was too far away, and there was not enough left of him, divine or not, to guarantee safe passage on a trip so long.

She had always been afraid of hope, in the same way she figured most people were afraid of black holes. Desire was something that consumed, she knew, and to desire impossibility was to let it consume you entirely. hearts splintered with love and splintered with loss, and to fear one was to fear both—it was safer to resist them both, to draw thick, black demarcations in shining permanent marker, explicit, clear lines that gently reminded her of what could and could not be desired.

“You live as though you are already dead,” she whispered. each word sunk into him, cut through his heart with clean, sharp blades. “You live as though your life is nothing but a prerequisite for death, for true purpose. Have you ever fought to stay alive? Have you ever allowed yourself to think of life as something to love?”

They had the same fine boned face, hollow-cheeked and haunted, the same air of a saint that had burnt away to nothing and held the ashes himself. And yet, they were not the same. It was a twisted, imperfect projection—it was him, but not all of him. This was his savage divinity laid bare.

What were love stories but dreams of worlds where the sun and moon could linger beside one another long enough to learn the language of the other’s heart?

ravi also has an incredible grasp on the themes that she’s writing with. above all, the heartless divine is about humanity and what makes people human—our relationships with each other and with our own place in the world. and in my opinion, she expresses these ideas with great maturity and wisdom.

however, for the most part, the heartless divine’s greatest strength is its characters. kiran is a deeply complex character, a prophet caught between his duty to die as a martyr and his desire to make his own choices and follow what he truly loves. he has a complicated relationship to humanity, but no human more than himself, as he struggles to understand the parameters of his own humanity—the place where his mortality ends and his divinity begins. at first, the kiran of the past and the kiran of the present seem deeply separated from each other, but as the story progresses you begin to understand the tragedy of how kiran became who he is in the modern-day.

at first, suri seems like a typical ya female protagonist, but as the story progresses and she begins to let her guard down a bit more, you really start to see how interesting and complicated she is as a character. she doesn’t believe in gods or fate at the beginning of either storyline, but by the end she slowly starts to accept hope into her heart—ending in two very different ways—and advocates for ignoring fate and following the life you want, desperately searching for the happy ending that you deserve. she also has a deeply captivating character voice, and was, certainly at the beginning, my favourite of the three pov characters.

but my personal favourite character is viro, the primary antagonist of the past plotline (though—no major spoilers—he finally makes an appearance in the modern plotline very close to the end). most people i know who have read the heartless divine feel similarly about viro. ravi makes him a deeply compelling character, fleshing out his motivations and reasoning and in turn writing one of my favourite relationships in the book in his complex brotherly relationship with kiran. i don’t want to spoil much about him, but he is a really interesting character and, though technically the antagonist, is just as compelling as the protagonists.

on the same note, before i talk about the romance in the book, i have to mention viro and kiran’s dynamic, as i feel it drives the past plot in many ways and is deeply interesting. the two are adoptive brothers, and find themselves butting heads almost constantly over their different ideological stances; and though it’s clear they love each other, soon enough you start to worry if love is enough.

onto the romance, and of course i have to talk about suri and kiran, because—how could i not. they’re literal soulmates! two souls who find each other in every lifetime! they’re kindred spirits no matter what, in both past and present, two people who understand each other deeply on a metaphysical level, and no matter what their scenes together were a great joy. they’re a romance where both of them help each other grow, even when surrounded by chaos and catastrophe. here’s one of my favourite lines in the book in case you need some more explanation. this is romance.

“‘Love is dangerous, blinding,’” he quoted, voice soft against her cheeks in an empty semblance of amusement. He pulled back slightly, just enough that she could see the gentleness, the raw warmth in his gaze. The clean lack of regret. “And yet, I see you so clearly.”

it’s perhaps less explicit—but bear in mind this is the first book in a series—but ravi also sets up the dynamic between viro and his guard, companion, and best friend tarak in a way that...is practically impossible not to read as romantic. i won’t spoil it because it is something you have to see in person, but some of the most emotionally charged scenes in the novel deal with their dynamic. here’s another line for good measure. they really said we do it for the girls and the tenderyearning gays that’s it.

Tarak let out a ragged sigh, lost and despairing. Viro reached up and put a hand on his, traced the lines of his fingers. he watched him do it, entranced by the movement and saddened by it as well. Finally, he asked, “If I begged, would you stay?” Viro’s fingers stilled in their movement, suddenly hyper-aware of the way Tarak’s hands shook upon the embroidered fabric of his tunic. as if he couldn’t bear to hold him tighter, as if the mere action would wrench him away.

the world building is also incredibly well done, as is the mythology ravi sets up and the folk stories she tells. also, for good measure, ravi is an indian writer and her story is, as aforementioned, deeply inspired by sangam india. i don’t necessarily have the cultural context to interact with the worldbuilding completely, but from where i stand it’s immensely well done.

the second book in the series is currently being written, and i recommend picking up your copy of the heartless divine soon before the series continues. once again, it’s available on amazon, and here is its page on goodreads and thestorygraph in case you want to add it to your tbr!

also, for good measure, shoot me a message here or on twitter (where i normally am) if you do decide to read it and want to discuss it! for good measure, here’s one of my favourite lines from the book—just as a closing statement.

“I want to hear all of your stories,” she said, fierce as fire. “Every single one. I don’t care whether they have happy endings or not.”

#bookblr #book recommendations #book recs #yalit #ya lit #diverse ya #diverse fantasy #ya recs #booklr #ya recommendations #books #the heartless divine

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inkandpaperadventures · 5 years ago

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October Book Challenge

So I missed A LOT of days here thanks to bad internet and being away. But now I am back and I thought I’d catch by compiling the questions I missed into one post so here we go.

Day Three: Your favourite series?

My first reaction here was to say Harry Potter but truth be told, I have gone off that series a bit in recent years. Bet you can guess why. I think instead I’m going to say The Shadowhunter Chronicles by Cassandra Clare. The books are full of fascinating lore and lots of diversity and a focus on various kinds of relationships from romance to found family which is something I really enjoy. And, as the series is so large and still growing, there is a book, character or relationship for everyone.

Day Four: Favourite book of your favourite series?

Leading off of that I’m going to say The Red Scrolls of Magic by Cassandra Clare. It’s set in the middle of the original part of the series, The Mortal Instruments, but focuses solely on my two favourite characters, Magnus Bane and Alec Lightwood. Sweet, funny and full of adventure, I highly recommend it.

Day Five: A book that makes you happy?

A book that made me really happy when I read it would be Red, White and Royal Blue. Everyone who has read this book will understand immediately and if you haven’t read it, I highly recommend that you do. It’s a sweet enemies-to-lovers romance with a good dose of politics. It’s a book that left me smiling and feeling incredibly hopeful for the future.

Day Six: A book that makes you sad?

The first book to come to mind was The Book Thief. Again, pretty obvious why this one upset me but I will never forget the horror when you realise Liesel is all alone. This book broke my heart but was a brilliant read.

Day Seven: A book that makes you laugh?

I struggled to think of one here and the one I’ve chosen may not be everyone’s first pick. I chose The Princess Bride for this slot as I read it again earlier this year and found it to be far funnier than the first time I read it. Goldman has a very dry wit as he twists the story to confuse the reader by telling a story within a story. And I have to admit that the self-aware stories are some of my favourites.

Day Eight: Most overrated book?

It’s more of a series but The Cormoron Strike novels by Robert Galbraith (aka JK Rowling) isn’t as good as I think a lot of people made it out to be. I’ve read all four of them and to be honest, the only reason I pushed on was for the character of Robin and even then I don’t know if I can put myself through another one let alone the apparent nine still to come.

Day Nine: A book you thought you wouldn’t like but ended up loving?

The Hobbit by JRR Tolkien. I never watched the Lord of the Rings movies as a child ad I definitely didn’t read the books. I actually picked up the book because a friend so the first Hobbit movie and said it was good. I wasn’t preparing to hate it but I definitely didn’t think I would love it but the book has become one of my favourites.

Day Ten: A book that reminds you of home?

Inkheart by Cornelia Funke. I read this book when I was twelve and ever since it’s been one of my comforts during rough times. The story follows Meggie, a bookworm, as she learns that her father has been keeping a lot of secrets from Meggie. Secrets about himself, her mother’s disappearance and even about Meggie herself. It’s a fun read and if you love books, its incredibly heartwarming with a lot of nods to many childhood favourites.

Day Eleven: A book you hated?

Atonement. Hands down. Everyone seems to love this book (or at least the movie) but I couldn’t get into it and didn’t finish it. Briony was so irritating that I had to keep putting the book down and it was a struggle to pick it back up and eventually I just gave up. The framework of the novel is interesting but it’s unfortunately become a book I’ll probably never pick up again thanks to a bad first experience.

Day Twelve: A book you love but hate at the same time?

The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald. The characters are all cruel and cold and treat one another terribly, so much so that you don’t even know who you are truly rooting for. In fact, I found myself rooting for characters, not because I liked them but because they were challenging characters I really didn’t like. All that being said, it’s a fascinating character study set against the dazzling and corrupt backdrop that was New York in the 1920s. Which is incredibly fitting if you know much about the actual characters. Pretty but awful.

Day Thirteen: Your favourite author?

I don’t know if I have a single favourite author. There are several that have caught my attention whose writing I love. For the sake of answering I will pick one but I wouldn’t classify her as my absolute favourite. Rather she is one of my favourite authors and that is Rainbow Rowell. I’ve enjoyed everything of hers that I’ve read and her characters are some of the most relatable I’ve ever come across, especially Cath from Fangirl. Not only that but she gave back the wonder that was the Harry Potter series in the form of Carry On and Wayward Son with a diverse cast and a more sensitive approach to the creation of the magickal world the characters reside in.

Day Fourteen: Book turned movie and totally desecrated?

I could say the Harry Potter series as I have a lot to say on those movies but I’m actually going to say The Hunger Games. The book is a horrifying dystopian about inter-generation abuse in the extreme but the movie turned the narrative into exactly what the novel was critiquing. The movie is what The Capitol wants the Games to be seen as but rather than critiquing this the movie appeared to endorse it. A horrifying death match between children was turned into a romance which was a disgusting homage to the book.

Day Fifteen: Favourite male character?

This is incredibly difficult as so many characters come to mind but the one I’m leaning towards most is Magnus Bane from the Shadowhunter Chronicles. A biracial, bisexual immortal warlock who loves cats and glitter? Sign me up. Magnus has one of the biggest hearts as well, no matter what he says and is incredibly loyal to those that he cares about, staying behind to face down everything from demons in the pit of Hell to annoying family members. Characters who have stayed kind despite everything that has happened to them are, honestly, incredibly undervalued and Magnus definitely fits the bill.

Day Sixteen: Favourite female character?

Cath from Rainbow Rowell’s Fangirl. As I mentioned above, Cath is one of the most relatable characters I’ve ever come across in fiction. A shy nerd who loves her books and writes fanfictions about her otp is probably super relatable to a lot of people. What I loved most about Cath is how unapologetic she is for her nerdy love. She relationships are pretty turbulent during the novel and it is through reading and writing that she finds peace and, eventually, the strength to let the past go.

Day Seventeen: Favourite quote from your favourite book?

This question was incredibly difficult as I do not have a single favourite book but rather a shelf full of favourites. In the end I’ve settled on one of my favourite quotes from Inkheart by Cornelia Funke.

“Books loved anyone who opened them, they gave you security and friendship and didn't ask for anything in return; they never went away, never, not even when you treated them badly.”

Day Eighteen: A book that disappointed you?

Dracula by Bram Stoker really disappointed me. I had such high hopes for such a classic novel but I found that once Van Helsing entered the story it became dull and the horror of Dracula became so distant as to be almost nonexistent.

Day Nineteen: Favourite book turned into a movie?

It’s probably not my favourite but I think this may be one of the most faithful adaptations of a book I’ve come across. The Secret Life of Bees is one that I almost put under ‘a book that made you cry’ but I think its adaptations makes it more fitting here. The changes they did make to the movie don’t detract from the core story and the movie retains the importance of the bonds between all the main characters.

Day Twenty: Favourite romance book?

There are a lot, especially from this year alone but I’m going to pick It Sounded Better In My Head by Nina Kenwood. This book was incredibly realistic with its depiction of the confusion a first relationship can cause. The importance of the main character, Natalie’s, friendships isn’t lost in light of her new romance but rather they run parallel to the romance and are just as important. The book it short, sweet and hits home in a way that left me wanting to read more.

Day Twenty-One: The first novel you remember reading?

The Twits by Roald Dahl. I proceeded to then read most of his novels before turning to Emily Rodda but it was definitely the cruel married couple that started my journey as a reader.

Day Twenty-Two: A book that makes you cry?

The Absolutist by John Boyne. If you are looking for a happy ending this is not the book for you. This book was heartbreaking and left me crying for quite some time. Set in WWI and featuring a pair of young men who meet in a training camp of the Biritsh Army, it follow them as they arrive on the battlefield with very different stances on the war and a forbidden romance brewing between the two. If you do read this book, brace yourself for the ending.

Day Twenty-Three: A book you wanted to read for a long time but haven’t?

Valentine by Jodi McAlistor. It’s been on my to read list for well over a year now and it is currently sitting on my bookshelf in line to be read. A fantasy ya novel set in Australia that deals with fairies is right up my alley and Jodi McAlistor herself is a fascinating author whose studied so much ya fiction, in particular feminist and romance fiction that I feel that this novel is going to be amazing once I get around to it.

Day Twenty-Four: A book you wish more people would’ve read?

The Troutespond Series by Elizabeth Priest. This series is rather niche and only just got off the ground last year but its charming and features four teenage girls as the main characters. The girls find themselves caught up dealing with the world of fairies even as they struggle to study for final exams and getting ready for university.

#books #october book challenge #book challenge #ya fiction #romance books #gothic books #fantasy books #the shadowhunter chronicles #the hobbit #tolkien #rainbow rowell #red white and royal blue #the red scrolls of magic #the troutespond series #inkheart #dracula

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thetypedwriter · 6 years ago

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Ready Player One Book Review

Ready Player One Book Review by Ernest Cline

Ready Player One is never a book I would have bought for myself. For one, its adult fiction, which is just, well, gross and boring, and two it didn’t seem like my type of thing. I like romance and fantasy and witches and fairies, not…the eighties as an era and virtual realities.

However, when you are an English major in college and currently an English teacher by day, people get you books for Christmas. It is a thing ™. So my good-natured neighbor, who also makes the most delicious banana bread, got me Ready Player One by Ernest Cline. Not going to lie, the cover looked lame and I had never heard of it and I stashed it away in the books-we-don’t-speak-of pile for almost a year until I picked it up and read it because frankly I didn’t have anything else to read and I figured it would be a waste to you know, throw it away or donate it.

So here we are. Almost a full year and a half after I first received it and after I’ve finally read it (and watched the terrible movie). I’ll try to keep this short and simple. The book was better than I thought it would be. It wasn’t too hard for me to vibe with the characters since when the novel starts, the main character, Wade Watts, is a senior in high school and not too far from the main characters that I tend to stray towards in YA.

So, Wade Watts is a typical literature orphan who lives with his horribly negligent aunt and his whole life’s purpose and happiness derives from a virtual reality simulation called The Oasis. People’s lives inside the Oasis have become just as much real and valuable as people’s lives outside the Oasis and because the world is such a poverty-stricken, pollution ridden hell hole, people tend to spend more of their time stuck inside a virtual reality to escape from their actual reality since it sucks the big hairy meatball.

This of course, presents the age-old questions since Plato posed it in his fable of “The Myth of the Cave.” Are your choices and your life real if it is inside a virtual reality? Are emotions? Your thoughts? Feelings? It’s an interesting conundrum and Cline doesn’t so much as answer it as he does play out his novel and let you decide for yourself whether it counts or doesn’t, although it becomes clear in the end what his stance is on this particular issue.

The plot of the novel revolves largely around a competition that is currently ongoing and thought to be impossible before our main boy Wade makes the first moves and solves the first riddle. The creator of the Oasis, James Halliday, hid a gargantuan sum of money inside the game called an “Easter egg” as well as the power to control the whole of the simulation for whoever was able to find his three doors and complete his quest.

Wade Watts has dedicated his whole life to this quest and along the way finds virtual love, loss of friends and foes, and countless dangerous situations inside and outside the simulation. While I enjoyed the plot and Wade was a tolerable main protagonist, what really fascinated me was the author’s knowledge of 80’s pop music, retro video games, television shows, and general pop culture.

Littered throughout the book are countless allusions to shows in real life, movies, books, video games, manga, anime, and especially arcade games. I loved learning these little facts and tidbits and it made the reading experience very enjoyable when I knew they existed in the real world-in my world.

I often found myself researching some game mentioned or some movie just to give myself a more accurate depiction of what Wade and the others were going through. Overall, I largely enjoyed the book except for the ending. I found the ending pedantic, trite, and downright hackneyed. Nothing happened. He won the game and that was that.

It felt very much like an April Fool’s joke but it wasn’t. Either I’ve become very systematic in how I view endings from YA that often conclude with a sardonic twist or a shocking revelation, but the ending to Ready Player One was just too…easy. It was boring. Not that it was bad it was just very predictable, which I found to be a huge letdown.

Recommendation: If you love the 80’s and are a giant nerd of video game history and how games have evolved over the centuries this book will be an absolute delight for you. I recommend only reading the book knowing the ending will not blow your socks off, but at least deliver on a anticipated note and never, ever watch the movie under any circumstances as it was the most wretched thing I’ve seen since M. Night Shyamalan’s

production of Avatar: The Last Airbender.

Score: 7/10

#ready player one #ernest cline #steven spielberg #book to movie #book blog #book review #book rec #m night shyamalan #wade watts

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sicklyscribe · 6 years ago

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alien smoochies

Short and sweet of it:

If supernatural romance and small town drama are tropes you like, I think you won’t be disappointed if you give this show a shot. All of my concerns are ones that could turn out to be pilot-specific, and all of my accolades are ones that have every reason to continue showing up in every episode.

Character motivations were very strong and barring the placement of one scene, feel like natural parts of both the character’s lives and the necessary plot.

Chemistry between all of the actors was also a plus, though the pace of information and the desire to keep secrets from the audience at times worked against the main ship.

Plot isn’t anything to write home about, it’s an alien drama on a YA-centric network based on a YA novel, are you expecting anything more than the classic tropes applied to modern-day, and applied well? If you are, I suggest The Expanse, but you’ll be sacrificing the heady YA romance focus for a plot-oriented and philosophical-political lens. Both shows deal heavily with ideas of identity, community, and the rights of man, though, which all alien stories worth their salt should do!

That being said, the political overtones that are present are not shy. If it were ten years ago and I was reviewing, I’d say it was a bit much. But it’s not ten years ago, it’s now, and I’d say much is fucking warranted in a small town American drama set in 2019. It takes a stance with immigration, diversity, mental illness, lgbtq, feminism, “the wall”, and disabled veterans. It knows that escapism in fiction is important, to a point, but chooses to put itself in what I think is a brave and effective in-between.

let the long-winded-ness begin: Spoilers, of course

Basically all I wanted out of this show was for it to have a cute lead romance that was as charming or more charming than the one on the ill-fated Star-Crossed (yes I watched some of that, yes it could have been way better, but also yes it tried some things that made me smile and I thought worked pretty well), plus a plot that only made me suspend disbelief when it came to the existence of aliens that look like models and have superhero powers.

The romance was almost too heavy-handed for me, and I was watching this show for the heavy-handed romance. It feels this way, in my opinion, because we see the heart-stopping, sappy, magnetic draw of these two characters over and over again in ways that just seem over-the-top without knowing their history. Having them flustered at seeing each other again unexpectedly is endearing, but insisting overtly and repeatedly that we’ve got true high school sweethearts love on our hands folks! before giving us the hints that a lot happened that contradicts/questions the initial information feels a bit like the carriage before the horse.

The main place where this really gummed up the wheels for me was the post-healing, pre-reveal bit where the aliens are fighting about what happened. The current indication at this point in the show is that Liz did not give Max the time of day until maybe the very end of high school, and if so there was not any reason to believe it got to a romantic level (could be remembering this wrong, I’m not infallible and also I don’t want to go through CW ads again to confirm). This in the subtext of Max’s obvious infatuation mixes to present an obsessive/idolistic vibe to his feelings. As the pilot progresses, chinks fall into place in the backstory until we finally get enough foundation to fully support the way these people are talking to and about each other.

This intense withholding to me was a net negative -- I would have preferred more overt hints in the first twenty minutes that the main relationship meant much more in high school (and possibly was much more) than a long crush met with a budding one, and nothing happened from there. It would have made me feel I had more freedom to fall into those sappy loving longing scenes without the nagging sensation of unbalance.

Despite this, I was able to still totally go weak at the knees for the ‘You’re just feeling echoes of what I feel for you... It’ll wear off...’/’When will it wear off?’/’A few days, maybe a week’/’Okay, I’ll kiss you then.’ because THAT’S HOW YOU WRITE THE HELL OUT OF A BUDDING SUPERNATURAL ROMANCE. With each line I was hoping they’d go in this direction, and when I have hopes like this for sci-fi/fantasy romance dialogue I’m usually disappointed. This was *kisses fingers* bellissimo.

Other than the romance, the alien confrontation scenes in the early/mid portion of the episode could have really used a bridging line or two. Michael and Isobel are furious that Max healed someone and caused a scene when they’re not even sure if she remembers or suspects anything. Meanwhile, Michael is shorting out cameras and causing supernatural mayhem in nearly every scene he’s in. While Max and Isobel aren’t thrilled about this, there’s no acknowledgement by any of the three that Michael doesn’t have a leg to stand on here, or if they really feel that what Max did was that much more dangerous, they don’t nitpick at why. They shouldn’t have done the latter, really, since they were in their own dynamic with their own established norms and if this was part of those norms they wouldn’t have had to debate them. But as an audience member it took me out of the scene and lessened the impact of the job it was supposed to do in establishing how these characters fit together.

(also, i feel that since the scenes I just mentioned fell a bit short, I can’t say I see the point of Max telling them ‘I’m going to reveal our secret!’ when it will be for all intents and purposes unavoidable for him to do so regardless. To reinforce the character motivations, these scenes may have played better if Max was on the fence about telling Liz, and his siblings convinced him not to despite his concern for her and desire to alleviate her fears of mental illness. This would have shown his viewpoints -- “I think it’s right to tell her”/”I should be in charge of this decision” -- warring with his core value -- “Protect my siblings” -- and this conflict would have provided a lot more fodder for establishing the dynamic norms for these three.)

My other big-ish gripe was the military man set up to be the antagonist. In a “legend” fraught with red tape, cover-ups, and lies to highest branches of government, Commander Manes has one conversation with a young doctor (the son of his trusted dead colleague, yes, but still) and said young doctor plays the information barter game... and wins? The plot seems to need these two to be trusting in each other to some degree, but to have it happen so soon? A short scene where Doc Valenti was up to his ears in legally binding scary paperwork plus a half dozen checkpoints and failsafes before getting to the secret alien HQ would have been nice. I just don’t really buy that this head honcho guy waltzes on to base with a civilian and tells him the whole story just because he was BFFs with the guy’s dad.

This isn’t really a gripe, more of a standard that I think is worth aspiring to: disabled actors exist, and it would have been better if one had been cast as Alex. Maybe something sci-fi happens in the plot later that would have made this unfeasible, I don’t know. Maybe it was attempted and there really wasn’t anyone for it. There are a lot of maybes. I just know that representation always happens this way: it is simulated before it is direct. It’s good to support the simulation as far as it affects public opinion, but not talking about how it can be better is treading water. So: I’m incredibly happy for the work this show is doing to put different types of people in the public eye. As a part of that public eye, I feel the need to make my voice heard, so to speak, in continuing to push the standard.

Getting off my tiny little tumblr soap box, I think that’s about it for my thoughts. Of course I’m a writing nerd, so I have thoughts on every line written in every show I’ve seen in the past five years, and I’m not going to subject myself or anyone reading to the tedium of that. Of course I didn’t even scrape the surface of all of the topics covered by this pilot and what I thought about each and every one of them -- Liz’s characterization and relationships with her sister and best friend especially -- but suffice to say if I didn’t pick on it then I really enjoyed it.

Anyone who enjoyed this, let me know! I’m not putting it in the tag since I’m trying to limit my fandom interaction, but I am interested in maybe doing more series or pilot reviews if people want to read them.

#reposting because the readmore link kept breaking #anamysis

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starberry-cupcake · 7 years ago

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So, about that post on ya lit and age...

Regarding that post about how all YA books are about teens and why there aren’t YA books with adults/actual young adults and how readers want the same themes of YA books in adult books (I hear you pal, believe me).

I wanted to point out that when a book series has themes of fantasy and sci fi, even if it has adult characters and is aimed to an adult audience, it’s widely read by what we can consider a YA demographic. Because that demographic is, as of the standards of today, the “fandom” demographic, and is growing up as the years go by. Nowadays I’d say it goes up to at least the mid to late 30s. What people consider the YA audience is what people see as the actively online fandom audience of today. This is what publishers, to me, have been doing wrong for the last 10+ years when it comes to YA and boy oh boy did I have to attend congress upon conference upon lecture on the subject with traditional publishers not understanding the point.

Because I happened to have grown in the fandom sphere and studied publishing as the online fandom culture was growing and I was, on one side, an active fandom person collaborating with fan-run book-based projects online for 0 money (podcasts, fanfiction, fansites, forums, you name it) and, on the other side, I was dressed impeccably pretending to be an adult with my official lanyard attending conferences during my early 20s.

What is often overlooked in conversations about YA is that stuff like LOTR, ASOIAF, La Saga de los Confines, Good Omens, and so on and so forth, even if they are aimed at an adult demographic, are widely consumed by the YA audience. We’ll talk about differences in publishing perception of male authors and female authors and binary normative pre-conceptions on another time.

The problem to me isn’t necessarily just that publishers don’t see YA extending further than teen leads, it’s also that they don’t see that what generates a fandom audience, which is the one they call YA without really delving into whether they are YA or not. They don’t see that isn’t about themes or similar characteristics but on content.

One of those days in which I was at one of these congresses, I attended an international panel on YA and children lit. This was the year 2013, it’s very important for my tale. In the panel there was one representative of a French publisher and she was talking about numbers and demographic and they said that the jeunesse category had some “strange” behaviors because one of the best sold books in that demographic on the early 2013 period had been Victor Hugo’s Les Misérables. And she was like “well, it’s a classic I guess, who knows what happened there, moving on...”

So there I was, sitting on that crowd of people, listening to this talk with info-graphics and numbers and percentages, while knowing full well why this was happening. Knowing full well that my 9-chapter mutant au Les Mis fic being currently written was a good sign of what the fuck was going on.

The Les Mis fandom had awoken after a period of silence because in December of 2012 the movie of the musical came out. And, for better or worse depending on which side of the preference you stand on, the movie re-ignited an online fandom that had been mostly dormant, in comparison to other fandoms at the time.

Suddenly Les Mis had thousands of fics posted on AO3, hundreds of essays on differences in translation posted on tumblr, dozens of people looking for Hugo books. I knew full well what was happening and it had nothing to do with chance, providence or the YA demographic being “weird”. Les Mis had come back in the right moment of time and provided themes that never went out of date with the social and political climate to a young audience that was experiencing it for the first time and others who had been experiencing it in mostly dormant silence and the renewed fandom was exploring its limits once more.

Another very visible case was Pride and Prejudice coming back with full force in 2012-2013. Kids in high school absorbing Austen prose like no tomorrow. And even if the 2005 movie had put it back on the forefront of shelves, this time it was getting the full-on fandom YA treatment. Again, I knew full well why that was, because I myself was an avid subscriber of The Lizzie Bennet Diaries. And boy did that webseries open up a path for literary classics in the 2012-2016 period.

My point is, it isn’t just an age thing, it’s a content thing. Publishers don’t understand fandom because they think is merely a commercial form of consuming, which is the furthest from the truth as possible.

One side of the publishing spectrum wants to bask in fandom culture for the big bucks and thinks that producing 120 books eerily similar to one that was popular is a legit way of finding “the next big thing” (how many supernatural romance books came out after Twilight? How many young wizard books after Harry Potter? How many dystopias after The Hunger Games? and yet those three big names are entirely different from one another).

On the other side of the publishing spectrum you have the editors who think anything remotely commercial in success is a “lesser form of art” so YA is a marketing stance and not a proper literary genre and the fandom audience as a whole is a waste of time to them (I swear to god I’ve heard this more times than I can tell in all these lectures and seminars and things I’ve been to, I kid you not).

The truth is that demographics are useful to know where a book goes, for librarians, for editors, for book stores, for writers to understand their readers. But they shouldn’t be a limitation to your creativity. Don’t stop writing your book because you think it doesn’t fit within a spectrum or you’re scared it will fall on another. Listen to your story first and foremost and readers will come.

#luly rambles #about ya and publishing and editing #because boy do i have some stories to tell on this

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seenashwrite · 7 years ago

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Hey! I was wondering if you could help me out a bit? I'm about to post a one shot, as I was wondering what I put st the top other then how many words and such? I'm just beginning to actually post stories and I want to get things right haha. Sorry if I'm disturbing you or anything!

Oh lovely @spookyphsyco - you have come to the right type-A advice-giver. And you have graciously made this about me, so that I don’t have to. [wink]

Legit apologias if any of what’s below the cut seems patronizing. I’ve tried to inject snark to make it an easier read. I also say sh*t, possibly other blah-blah of a potty-mouthed nature.

Short version:

Status: Word Count: Category: Rating: Character(s): Pairing(s):Warnings: Author’s Note(s):Overall Summary:

Essentially I put what I like to see, with ever-so-slight, atypical tweaks. Long version/breakdown is after the jump. The ones with stars I think should be exactly where I put them, with the others shuffled however you’d prefer.

* Status:

Complete

Part ___ of ____

for multi-parts (a.k.a., a mini-series)

IMO, the ones around 2 or 3 parts; for me, it’s treading on “series” territory after 3

I just stick a ____ after “of” til I’m sure about how many parts

In-Progress

could stick this after “part __ of ___” thought I find that redundant - this is definitely to be used for series, and which part you’re on should’ve already been noted above, a la “Title: Part __”

* Word Count:

I just round up the decimal point if it’s close to/over halfway to the next number, so…. 3,422 could be ”3.4K” or “3.5K”, whatever you like

If you put 3,422 it scares the shit out of people, even though that’ll maybe take 15 minutes to read. Maybe.

* Category:

A.K.A. - what’s the genre?

The top ones you’ll see are “angst”, “fluff”, “smut”, “crack”, “real person fic/RP/RPF” - confusingly, I also see RPF = “role play fic - advise just type out “real person” and “role play”

I also see “series”, which, whatever - I’d prefer knowing that right off the bat at a glance, hence “status”, that’s up to your pref

I mostly see Category kick off with either that, or something indicating what’s to come in terms of the life expectancy of your story line, followed with the above genres

Others by life expectancy would/could include:

drabble

imagine

request/”ask”

head canon

Side note: “cannon” = big boom, artillery-style; “canon” is short for canonical, a.k.a. - the official last word on fill-in-the-blank, so for us - the scripts/what we see on the show, Kripke, the writers, the actors, etc.

multi-part

one-shot

alternate universe/AU (which could branch into “AU: Historical”, “AU: Fantasy, “AU: Science Fiction”, etc.)

cross-over

Now, if it’s a cross-over that I want to be a surprise? I don’t mention the title of the movie/book/show If it doesn’t matter? Stick it in the Category (so “Crossover: Brooklyn 99″) plus it’ll also be made clear via the Character(s) category by listing them after the SPN peeps & before the O.C.

I personally don’t use those main five (see above, RE: anal-retentive stubborn mule) as they are too vague for my taste.

When peeps pass my stuff along or in the rare instances they put me on a rec list, I couldn’t care less when they whip me under one of those or tag it as such, because that’s common parlance that I’m willfully eschewing. I sleep just fine on my fanfic pillow at night.

I use words like “behind-the-scenes canon-compliant”, “mystery”, “introspective”, “melancholia”, “friends-maybe-more”, “family”, “canon-compliant”, “friendship”, “adventure”, “humor”, “parody”, “spoof” - all [IMO] give a clearer idea without spoiling the plot

Special Nash Note regarding a specific pet peeve of mine that you can certainly take or leave, I won’t adore you any less:

Regarding Real Person Fic - the authors who disclaimer the tar out of these Wear. Me. Out. Just own it if you’re gonna do it, no caveats. I more-than-snark/borderline ranted about this here - surprisingly succinctly - should you want to see why

Take home: I find being really specific in your category helps keep your warnings/author’s notes blessedly tight & trimmed, more on that below.

Rating:

On this, I essentially use what I see around town, which is “Any”, “Teen & Up” and “18+” - or variations on this.

Nine outta ten, I’m going with “Teen & Up”, because I most always have dense, meaty plots or dry humor that require a fairly well-read person - I’m not being an asshole, it’s for their benefit. They’ll find it boring and/or too complex, it’s not their fault, they just haven’t had enough years on the planet to knock out a lot of books, y’know?

Character(s):

I list the not-mines first, and shut it down after maybe three or four, then cap it off with O.C. mention(s)

Sometimes I’ll do a parenthetical - like “Castiel (mentioned)” or “Crowley (briefly)” - because some people hate certain characters but love you or love the plot in general, so if they know someone they don’t like is only gonna be there vaguely, they’ll likely still give it a go

If there’s more - the minor not-yours or minor O.C.s - just put “various” at the end & and move on

Also nice on multi-parters/series for you to only list the characters that appear in that specific post

I phrase the primary O.C.(s) like: “Female O.C./Reader/You”, something of that ilk.

Negates the need for “Reader Insert” in the categorization, because… well, it’s not how books are arranged online or in stores or in libraries. Perspectives [1st/2nd/3rd] are just that - perspectives - they aren’t genres.

Pairing(s):

N/A if none, of course

This is one I am completely leaving up to you.

Having said that - dig through other folks’, see what tickles your fancy.

If you dig through mine - I think one I straight up said “Sam x Reader/Female O.C.” because it was an Ask, so the end result was pretty much out there, and on another I put something cheeky like “Endings are better when you don’t know what’s coming.”

And really, aren’t they? Lookit, I figure if back on your Master Page/Master Post, you’re gonna end up categorizing them by “Angst” with sub-cats a la “Dean x Reader”, etc., may as well blow your wad from the get-go.

Also remember this is coming from someone who keeps their O.C.s as vague as possible, so that anyone can imagine themselves in the character’s shoes. That’s for reader satisfaction.

The selfish reason is because I want “Y/N” to die in a horrific fire where it is alive for >65% of the charring. It is so distracting. I’ve now digressed, tangent-style.

Warnings:

Writing detailed canon? Or an AU that’s cribbing on canon? Whip a little “Spoilers up to Season _″ or what-have-you right out of the gate.

Otherwise…. okay, biggest over-arching tip:

Things either ARE or they ARE NOT - refrain from going down a huge explanatory road here, a la “Could be considered this, but also could be looked at as that, and there’s sometimes….”

Oh. Sweet. Lord. Bring the chariots & take me now.

There’s a word for this, and it is “dubious”.

So: “dubious non-consensual situation(s)”; “dubious incestual situation(s)”; etc.

It’s the formal way of saying “YMMV”, a.k.a. “Your Mileage May Vary”. I am likely not going to read into the threat of fill-in-the-blank if I’ve not experienced fill-in-the-blank. That’s why it is an “in the eye of the beholder” sort of jam - it’s open to interpretation….

…..but you gotta make sure it is - if Dean and Sam kiss each other with tongue, even once? That is incest. Not dubious. Nope.

If there’s stuff possibly of concern that you’re not balls-out detailing, the tidy word for that is “allusion”.

So: “allusion to past sexual trauma”; “allusion to past physical assault”; “allusion to sexual encounters”,etc.

On that last one: again, meaning off-handed comments about rolls-in-the-hay, not anything specific with vivid detailing.

Might want to tack “eventual” in front of these in certain circumstances - more on that in a sec.

(PS: Writing tip? Shit in the past that made the characters who they are? Leave it there. Allude to it. Unless it is actually happening, no one caaaaaares - we only care about any ripple effects potentially impacting the current story.)

Language - again, things either ARE or they ARE NOT.

I don’t care if it’s twice or every-other-piece-of-dialogue, or only in a couple of chapters - “mature language” or “coarse language”. Boom. You’re done. Covers cursing and dirty talk and the lot.

Sexy Times - yeah, it may say “smut” under your category/genre, but it doesn’t hurt to toss a clarification or two

Some folks consider smut “he touched me here” and some folks don’t consider it smut til “he ran his tongue here”.

I’d go with “graphic sex” or “explicit sex” if you have any wavering on the issue of what to put. But, again: it either is, or it isn’t - if it’s not allusion, then it’s graphic/explicit

Some folks tack on really, really, really specific facets here, where I think a parenthetical would do, and one that covers a gamut, so:

Graphic Sex (anal) this covers digital penetration & toys

Graphic Sex (multiple partners) this covers three-ways and four-ways and… and…. and….

Graphic Sex (kinks) this covers role-playing and toys and voyeurism and… and… and…

Side note: I have noticed that dog-in-heat genre - A/B/O, right? - is listed separately from kinks. Not my jam, so ya got me, I ain’t your gal to consult on this area

I’m not going on - you catch my drift. People who list every type of toy and kink baffle me. Cover the spread, move on, you can always put an asterisk and stick it below the “read more” to be as specific as you like.

I say this because if a person’s not into “toys” in general? Why on earth would they read on after that warning above. Also plays into my whole “stories are often better when you don’t know the end” stance. Because they are, dagnabbit.

Some folks tack on “unprotected sex”, and fine, okay. Would suggest that if you want to add on some sort of advisement of “don’t do that”, “glove up”, “be safe” and what not, you whip an asterisk on there - “unprotected sex*” - and stick it in an Author’s Note post-story, more on those in a sec.

Violence - go with “graphic violence” and “mild-to-moderate violence”

The latter implies TV-level gore/horror, and the former implies movie/cable TV-level.

If you want, you could quantify it that way - like “show-level violence” or “movie-level violence” (if doing Avengers or Star Trek or whatnot)

Side note: if you’re going for no-holds-barred, Ash Vs. Evil Dead-level action? Go on & stick “horror” in your category/genre, methinks

Character Death / Major Character Death

I have never understood this as a warning, seek advisement from someone else on this point. Legit.

That is a major plot point. Why in this world people would want to spoil themselves on major plot points is beyond me.

Besides, can we stop treating readers like infants? You’ve given an age range/rating. You’ve said there’s violence. You’ve categorized it as angst (or “sorrow” or “mourning” or WHATEVER) and that paints the picture for me, an over-18 adult, one who has heeded the violence and sorrow alerts and has chosen to proceed. YMMV. Nash don’t get it. I’ve gone all tangent-y again.

Warnings, Part Two - Stories With Two Or More Parts:

So let’s say there’s a kidnap-and-ransom that involves the villain making a threat of raping the captive. But it happens in Chapter Five.

That “allusion to non-consensual situation” is, of course, told to the reader up front, and here’s the times when you may wanna tack “eventual” on it.

Then have an “Additional Warnings” or “Chapter Warnings” section on just this chapter post. They chose to read the thing after seeing that broad warning, I know, but it’s still nice to warn them so they aren’t reading it on lunch break at the office or something.

Side note: when doing multi-parters/series, just copy/paste all this stuff on top of each post, then tuck this “extra” note below the overall warning items

Author’s Note(s):

N/A

Use this liberally. There should not be a ton to say after you’ve done all that’s above.

The exception here - as in, a “regular appearance” kind of Author’s Note since it doesn’t really fit anywhere else, is an acknowledgment of any editor(s) who may have assisted.

Another to file under “common parlance” - they are called “Beta(s)”/”Beta Reader(s)” around here, even though technically a beta would be someone who’d be your first reader of the final product, post-edit, and pre-publish. [shrugs]

Advise you not wax poetic on their awesomeness - takes up too much space - do your gushing privately, no one cares about your excited feels for that person [sorry-not-sorry]

Plus it’s kind’ve bizarre - for me, at least - to see effusive praise heaped upon an editor should I read on and find myriad mistakes I’d naturally assume they missed, which brings me to an example of another unneeded note….

…the one post-beta acknowledgment that goes “…so any mistakes below are all mine”. ???? What, so you had ‘em do all that for you, followed by ignoring the errors they pointed out? Error’s an error. I suspect they mean not altering verbiage or flow or a suggestion of that ilk, but still. Just acknowledge them by their “@” and move on. I digressed.

Regarding challenges - and this is a “Nash Thing” - I advise you don’t put the challenge info here, above the story.

All it does it lengthen your top note and keep people from the story once they’ve decided to read. I actually went back & re-formatted for this on a lot of my stuff because it made the top part way too long.

I suggest you put “Author’s Note(s):Post-Story” and lay it out there - the challenge name, whose challenge it is and the prompt. Why?

If you tell readers the prompt - and another “Nash Thing” is that I don’t bold mine - they will subconsciously be on the lookout for it, which takes away the point of the challenge - to seamlessly integrate a random thing

Other “post-story” can be any inspiration you may’ve used - like songs or the details on a cross-over piece.

For cross-overs, this is a nice place to do a little “Various characters/settings used, verbiage style and minor plot points inspired by Joss Whedon’s Buffy the Vampire Slayer”.

Plus, you can put links to vid clips or pics of the cast or links to the song or c&p lyrics of the song - whatever. Point is, it doesn’t take up story space so readers can pass it by if they so choose

* Overall Summary:

My preference is that this is the last thing I see before I start the story, because I’ve seen all the details above, I’m almost sold, and this is what’s going to get me to scroll. Well, initially. First-scroll page-closers are another topic.

“idk, i’m not good at these/i suck at these/omg these are so hard/i can’t really say” – No, no, no, you said plenty. You just told me you write garbage & that I shouldn’t waste my time.

Sometimes these will be a handful of sentences, and I’ve found that when I’m being cheeky on a parody/humorous story, that’s when they tend to be longer - mainly because I’m really trying to drive home that this is not merely “fluff” or “crack”. It’s what I said it was in “Category” - it’s “humor” and/or “parody”.

Normally: one-to-two short-ish sentences or three quick sentences.

No really.

No, really. I don’t care how long the story is.

Now, the novel-length ones? Maaaaybe a quickie paragraph of, say,4-to-5 brief - BRIEF - sentences for the umbrella. Then - like we were talking about with the chapter specific warnings? - you can delete the “overall” summary or tack on underneath a sentence about the chapter below IF something pertinent should be noted/you’d want to know it if you were the reader.

Am I an asshole if I put examples of mine? Eh. Here you go, and I stuck an example of an atypical A/N below, as well as what my longest looks like. The Mobile Master has pretty much the same descriptors as the story post itself, but none of the rest of this stuff - if the summation grabs ‘em, then they’ll click through for more of the scoop.

A Delicate Desiccation - they’re told about melancholy, but my stories had been out for awhile, so I *did* pop an atypical A/N (because it wasn’t really a warning, per se) on there to tell the regulars that this was a darker piece than they’d be used to; if I told more than I did in that summary - and shit, I give a big ass breadcrumb via the title card, not to mention the wording of the summary - it would wreck the ending.

Top of the World - novel-length, and readers get blips of a summary for each chapter (at least, on AO3, as FFnet doesn’t allow for it). The chapters average 10K. I did not come to play. It’s structured to read like you’re watching a season of behind-the-scenes-canon SPN, I’ve been clear I’m doing it in tandem with the active season(s), so I’m not gonna warn them “SPOILERS!” every chapter. I’m tired. I’m old. My fingers hurt, Spooks. My keyboard’s angry with me.

Hope this helps! Or at least didn’t give you a headache. You’re ahead of the game already, just by asking the question. I think you rock. And I’m always right about knowing these sorts of things about people.

So sayeth the Nash, so say we all.

#Dear Nash #Nash Writing Tips #Nash Explains Pre-Story Info #Nash Advises #spookyphsyco

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emilybrowningfans · 8 years ago

Text

American Gods star Emily Browning on Tom Hardy, immortality, and turning down 'abusive' Twilight

But deciding how Laura should behave was still a stumbling block for the team. “I had this discussion with Michael Green on the first day,” says Browning. “Does Laura blink? Because she certainly doesn’t need to any more. Does she breathe? We made up our own rules.”“What we eventually decided was that she still feels like she’s alive,” she continues. “So, if breath is being used emotionally, it’s okay. If she’s shocked, she can gasp, because that’s an ingrained reaction.”For fight sequences, however, things became difficult. “If she’s fighting with someone... well, breathing usually plays a big part in a fight scene, because you’d be huffing and puffing and panting. But Laura can’t do that, because she doesn’t need to. She doesn’t need oxygen!” Breathing is a difficult habit to break. But for Emily Browning, as Laura Moon in Amazon’s new fantasy drama American Gods, respiration would be very out-of-character.

At the end of the third episode, released this Monday, Laura is seen waiting for her husband Shadow in his hotel room. It comes as a bit of a shock, given that she’s several days dead.

For reasons as yet unexplained, Laura has left her grave and is trying to rekindle her last relationship. “She very much lacks self-awareness,” Browning tells me. “Even though she cheated on him, and was horrible to him, and is now decomposing and smells like a dead body, essentially she’s like, ‘No, he loves me, I’m fine! We’ll be fine!’”

It’s something of a leap for the 28-year-old actress, last seen in Legend, where she played the (living) wife of notorious gangster Reggie Kray (Tom Hardy, slathered in Brylcreem). She was nervous about working with the glowering star of Taboo, she tells me.

“I was worried before I met him,” says Browning. At first, she expected Hardy “to be very intense and very serious and very method – but he’s not at all! We were goofing around on set a lot. He’s hilarious.”

Of course, her American Gods costar Ricky Whittle can seem equally intimidating on screen. In his own words, Whittle turned himself into a “monster” to play Shadow, taking on a tough muscle-building regime to capture the “don’t f--- with me” physique he has in Neil Gaiman’s novel, on which the show is based.

When asked what Whittle’s like to work with, Browning gives a charmingly odd description. “Ricky’s just a very sweet, fun, endlessly energetic human being who survives on 25 pounds of meat every day. He doesn’t drink. He’s just a bit of an angel.”

In both Legend and American Gods, she was grateful for her costars' light relief. “When your character is dealing with some dark, tricky subject-matter, it’s very important for me to be working with actors who are able to switch off from that between takes,” she says. Of course, your character's situation can’t be much darker than actually being dead.

American Gods’ showrunners Michael Green and Bryan Fuller have a good pedigree when it comes to creating lively dialogue for the lifeless. Green has co-written the forthcoming Blade Runner 2049, in which oxygen is an optional extra for the film’s android replicants. Meanwhile, Fuller created the cult comedy Pushing Daisies, a show about a happy-go-lucky baker who can reanimate the dead.

“What we eventually decided was that she still feels like she’s alive,” she continues. “So, if breath is being used emotionally, it’s okay. If she’s shocked, she can gasp, because that’s an ingrained reaction.”

For fight sequences, however, things became difficult. “If she’s fighting with someone... well, breathing usually plays a big part in a fight scene, because you’d be huffing and puffing and panting. But Laura can’t do that, because she doesn’t need to. She doesn’t need oxygen!”

On the plus side, being "essentially indestructable" has made Laura a bit more laissez faire. "Like many actors, I care a lot about what people think," says Browning. "So it was nice to play someone who really couldn’t be bothered with other people’s feelings."

Had her career gone slightly differently, Browning might still have ended joining the ranks of the undead – after a bite from the world’s most eligible vampire.

She was offered an audition for the first Twilight film, after the YA series’ author Stephanie Meyer put her name forward for Bella, the lead role. But she wasn’t interested.

“That was one of those internet things,” Browning sighs. “I guess in one interview the author of the book mentioned my name in relation to that character, and people on the internet grabbed that and sort of ran with it.

“And yes, I was asked to – I wasn’t offered the part, which is what a lot of people have reported – but I was asked to audition for it. And it just wasn’t for me. I’d never heard of it at that point, but then I read the book and I just…” Another sigh. “No.”

What was it about the novel that put her off? “I don’t want to say anything bad about it,” she begins, “but in my mind, the boy character – what’s his name?” Edward Cullen. “The boy vampire seemed to be kind of emotionally abusive. That relationship just didn’t appeal to me, really.”

She still hasn’t seen any of the Twilight films – which have since grossed more than $2.5 billion worldwide – but she has nothing but kind words for their star, Kristen Stewart. “I think she’s amazing, and I think she’s been so unfairly pigeonholed in people’s minds because of those films.”

She’s less complimentary about the current American president. Born in Australia, Browning now lives in Los Angeles, and was there during the election. “Driving around in LA when the early numbers were first starting to come in, it felt very surreal,” she recalls. “It almost felt like a war had started.”

Filming had already finished for American Gods when the results came through, but the Trump administration’s stance on immigration has given a topical bite to the fantasy series – which shows how people of different religions have brought their own gods to America over the centuries, from the Vikings onwards.

“The show is about the fact that immigration makes America what it is,” says Browning. “It’s a cultural melting pot, and the idea that that is going to be restricted in any way is truly terrifying.”

#emily browning #twilight #tom hardy #ricky whittle #news #interview

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