#crystal's the one who calls him out on making gay jokes

[bluebugjay]

so why was Charles so adamant that Brad and Hunter were 'just best mates' ? like why did he come in so quick to say so? Richie couldn't even hear him so he was only defending them to Edwin and Crystal and it really has nothing to do with Charles wanting them to be 'good guys.' It was pretty clear Richie was just lying or joking because they'd literally spoken to Brad and Hunter and knew they thought they'd been murdered so I doubt Crystal or Edwin were believing the whole gay suicide pact thing, and yet Charles swoops in immediately like, no no they're just best mates!! And he specifically says 'best mates' rather than friends or best friends, when 'best mates' is what we've all come to associate with Charles and Edwin.

Everything else he defends Brad and Hunter for lines up with him wanting them to be good guys but this one things sticks out, unless he thinks being gay stops them from being good guys. Obviously Charles has no issue with people being gay, he accepts Edwin immediately, but he's projecting onto Brad and Hunter, he wants them to be good so he can prove he can also be good so it's much more personal if they turned out to be gay (again I don't think any other character was believing Richie's story, only Charles seemed bothered enough to debunk it) it's kind of giving the impression that Charles is actively avoiding thinking about his own sexuality or even the possibility of it. He shuts the joke down immediately, even though considering Edwin's journey this season, it seems more like a statement he'd have an opinion on. Basically Charles sees himself in these boys and all of a sudden their sexuality is questioned, making Charles think even a millisecond about his own, and whether that would stop him being able to relate to them and he just immediately shuts it down.

And if Charles gets his idea of good from what his Dad expected of him yet also wanting to be the furthest thing from his Dad, he probably has a really foggy idea of what 'good' even looks like. It's likely he can see how being queer isn't bad and accept it immediately in others but possibly struggle more with questioning his own sexuality. He's so quick to accept and forgive others yet holds himself to impossible standard of moral goodness he couldn't possibly wish to achieve. And if he's grown up in a homophobic environment which is very likely considering, he's probably got a very confusing idea in his mind about whether he could balance being good and being queer.

[anxious-witch]

Jesus fucking christ. This post by @bluebugjay made me realize something. Something that kept bothering me about Charles' inital reaction to Edwin's confession.

He laughs briefly and says "Oh, I get it. It's like one of those Orpheus and Eurydice moments". I was so focused on the fact they made that metaphor within the Sandman universe than I missed a glaring, obvious bit. Charles laughed. That is not a reaction of someone who believes the other person. He thought it was a joke. He thought Edwin was just making a reference, not actually confessing. And he keeps that up until Edwin says "Charles, I'm quite serious". Then his face turns serious as the realization of this being real sinks in.

And I am completely baffled. Awestruck. And based on referenced post above, I think we can conclude Charles genuinely thought Edwin was above that. Above feelings of the romantic kind.

Let's rewind. Edwin, who never showed any interest in anyone for over 30 years, who scoffed at the prospect of Charles liking Crystal. Charles didn't register it as romantic jealousy, because he didn't think Edwin could feel that.

I wonder if he heard of how Edwin died, of how they called him Mary Ann, and correctly clocked Edwin was gay. Maybe he assumed Edwin had forsaken romance completely due to trauma?

But-but the Cat King! Charles was jealous of the Cat King! And he clearly flirted with Edwin!

Yes, indeed. But Charles never sees that Edwin responds to it. Edwin's relegation of his attraction to the Cat King happens when Charles isn't around. Perhaps Charles subconsciously knows, hence his insistence for Edwin to tell him, but he isn't sure. He just knows he and Edwin made a deal and that Edwin is acting odd. Nothing else.

When Monty comes along, we can see Charles is jealous. And he doesn't seem surprised when he thinks Edwin is talking about liking Monty. "You could have told me you like him". Yet, we clearly see it bothers him, even if he doesn't directly protest.

Then it clicked for me. Is this not exactly how one would act if they thought they had no chance of someone liking them for years and then finding out they like someone else??

No wonder Charles can't say he is in love with him back while they are on the stairs! If we assume that on top of all his issues with his dad and growing up in the 80s, he assumed Edwin would never wish to return anyone's romantic feelings, including Charles, it would be so difficult to shift into a mindset where that is a possibility!

Neither of these idiots were ever truly vulnerable with each other! Charles doesn't have feelings for Edwin because he pushed any possibility away. Not to mention then liking Crystal and knowing that whole situation is not yet resolved. He must have been so confused. No wonder he needs time to unpack all that, after belief he held for decades had been shattered in such a short period of time

[buttercreamdicks]

I guess if I am going to gather my thoughts about Link and the Eagle, I first have to gather my thoughts about Link and gender and expression. I have been through a lot of fandoms, I have been through a lot of ships, and I have always been against the oft-pervading logic that "This man is gay because [insert stereotypes of gay men performing femininized behaviors or underperforming masculinized behaviors]." One of the reasons I interpret my feelings on Link and gender as #my lesbian queen link neal is -- well, okay, because it's nonsensical and funny, but also because I specifically do not really want to fanon that he is gay because he wears a purse or whatever. One of the other reasons I interpret my feelings on Link and gender as a joke about being a queer female is because when Link says he is an unserious man I feel that unseriousness in manhood as hewing close to my own experience as a queer female; I recognize a lot of my own self or at least my own self's willingness to be "weird" (i.e., plainly honest) about gender and sexuality and affection in the idiosyncratic ways he expresses these things as well.

The main thing that hooked me into Rhett & Link was finding out that they grew up in the Southern conservative Evangelical culture in the '90s. Something that I think about a lot is how Rhett has talked about how Link was the weird kid, how people found him annoying, how he stayed at home and played with his wrestling dolls, how the moment they really became best friends was when Rhett punched that kid for making fun of Link. How in high school everyone thought they were gay. Rhett spent almost all his time with Link anyway. How even now Rhett talks about having to protect Link from himself, from embarrassing himself. And how Link talks about himself as someone who commits faux pas, and about liking that he has a safety net in Rhett, someone who will watch out for him.

Like the thing about Rhett is he performs the masculinity they grew up with well, and apparently always has: good grades, good athlete, just enough unexamined toxicity to his masculinity that he often doesn't pass my vibe check. I didn't grow up in the South or in Christianity but I grew up in the late '90s and I was steeped in enough of same culture of gender that I can recognize the mannerisms that Link has even today that would have been labeled as "weird," and the names he might have been called: sissy, mama's boy, fag. Rhett could have gone through life without ever encountering that, but he didn't. He chose to stick with Link, and he chose specifically to stick with a conception of himself as protecting Link.

And the thing with Link is he continued to be the way he was. He kept enough of those same mannerisms and ways of expressing himself that even now, as a grown man, he is the one a fandom will say is gay, is the twink, is the bottom. Whether he explicitly chose not to change, or is just one of those people who is incapable of not being exactly himself, I don't know. Probably both? Most of us who are queer (in the sense of sexuality or in the sense of being seen as strange) are both.

I also think sometimes of what Link's conception of himself would be if he weren't surrounded by people who have known him forever, or people who know someone who’s known him forever. If everybody's first impression of him wasn't mediated by a bunch of people who carry around his old teenage self crystallized in amber, who grew up in the same culture that thought he was weird, who still spend their time thinking they need to run interference for the way he talks and acts and feels. Because another thing that hooked me into Rhett & Link was how nearly every person in every piece of media they produce says "This guy is weird and awkward and makes people feel bad" when everything I took from watching him was This guy is honest and open and makes me feel good. Like if you just met him, on your own, would you even think anything was strange? If it was just him, without his past, would anybody think he wasn't enough?

[deancaspinefest]

Suddenly I See

Author: Fanboi214 | Artist: hexentaenzerin

Posting on Thursday April 4

After a reckless night, Dean wakes up as a newly transformed succubus. While his new powers force him to acknowledge the sexual tension between him and Castiel, they also leave him incapable of addressing it without killing the angel. In the meantime, the boys race to undo the transformation before it becomes permanent.

Keep reading for a sneak preview!

Dean looked across to Cas, whose cheeks turned fire engine red. His eyes grew wide like saucers, they darted around the room, refusing to land anywhere. Dean’s face dropped and he felt himself begin to blush. Missouri and Sam both had that same kind of quiet knowing look on their faces. Dean was dumbfounded. The implication was so clear. The room’s refusal to put words to it only granted it more weight. Did… Cas like him? Like in a gay way? Sure everyone joked about that constantly, but that wasn’t a thing. Not really. Dean felt his breathing grow faster. His palms were sweating. Why was he reacting to this so dramatically? He shook off becoming a succubus in under a minute. But Cas liking him? That felt impossible. Why was no one saying anything? Why was no one looking at him?

“Cas?” Dean said gently his voice cracking as he spoke. Dean’s voice rang in Cas’ ear like a clarion call. There was a desperation in it that Castiel would never ignore, could never ignore.

Cas finally forced himself to focus and looked up at Dean. That was the second Dean’s heart broke because he saw the fear in Castiel’s eyes. Those big, steadfast, crystal blue eyes were quivering, watering at their edges as they braced for pain. Castiel was afraid of him. His angel, his best friend, the man who pulled him from hell, who he pulled from purgatory, his Cas was afraid of him. What had he done so wrong to make Castiel feel that way? Had Dean not shown by now that he would always, always have Castiel’s back? Apparently not. Because Cas was staring at him like a hurt puppy. He was convinced Dean’s reaction to this would wound him. And it did.

Cas looked across the table into Dean’s eyes and his heart broke because he saw sadness. Dean’s shimmering emerald eyes had gone dull, their infectious, effervescent, spirit shrouded by sorrow. The prospect of Cas’s affections had birthed an anguish in the hunter. Cas suspected it wasn’t a choice, he knew that no matter how weirded out or disgusted Dean was by his affections Dean would try to be nice, to set him down gently. But those eyes didn’t lie. Cas had expected too much, wanted too much. Dean had given him an appreciation for the world, a family. He’d given him something to live and fight for. And yes, Dean’s gaze made him feel like he was loved and desired, but that was how all people felt when Dean Winchester looked upon them. Because Dean was kind empathetic and endlessly giving. And Cas had such a hard time understanding human emotions that he’d misunderstood that. He’d gotten too greedy. And now he had ruined everything.

(continue reading on Ao3 on Thursday April 4)

[exvangelical-christian-nerd]

TW Religion

Look I understand why religious people take offense to Good Omens, the Hellaverse, and that type of media (I've made posts on this before, about how the church kinda made their own bed, and I stand by that). I'm religious. I'm a practicing Christian. There are things in the shows that bother me a bit at times. There are parts of the fandom that I think go too far, but that happens in every single fandom. I think many of us who've been in any fandom for a bit can think of an example where someone just took something way to far. I mean there are multiple stories out there, to the point you sometimes see jokes about it, where someone went from fan to felon pretty dang quick. Or cases where a group of fans got more than a bit culty. The difference with the Hellaverse specifically, is, I believe, that if you take it to far you can start messing with very real demons, who are not the same as the ones in the show, and I don't want to touch that.

Now all that said, the fact that I am religious is a key contributor in why I love this kinda of media, and why I gravitate to it. I like things that bother me, at least things that bother me theologically. I really like things that make me question my faith, or components of it. Also, if I haven't made this crystal clear, the church has caused me a great deal of pain, and continues to do so. I have a lot of religious trauma to work through, and it can be really hard, because I often feel really alone. Most people with religious trauma leave the religion in question. I'm still here. I have to grapple, almost daily, with separating my hurt from my faith, and separating what I was taught from what I actually believe. I'm exvangelical, but I'm still a church going, bible believing Christian, and y'all that's a special kind of hell. It hurts, a lot. Sometimes to the point where it makes me physically ill. People I love and respect, continue to say things knowingly or unknowingly that cut like a knife. And How many times can you get stabbed? How long? How long must I hurt?

These shows help me process. They help me look at things from another perspective and go "do I believe that? And if I do, why?" Also sometimes they call me out, and that's never fun... but it can be important. But one of the big ones is that it gives me a chance to process my hurt with the symbolism of my childhood. It's healing.

I latched onto Emily, because I see myself in her. I see someone who believed, and had the rug pulled out from under them. I see someone, who still believes, but feels betrayed. Someone who now has to confront and question, because "if this was a lie what else is?" And "I trusted this person and this is what they did?" And possibly worst of all, "I helped enable this. I allowed this to happen. I might not have known, but I still helped. What have I done?" I know those feelings. I live them every single day.

I understand Aziraphale's choice to go running back to heaven (whether I like that choice or not, and I don't). It looked like they would accept him as he was, even accept those he loves. He sees an opportunity to change things for the better, in this system he knows, and cares about even. It's not going to go well. We know it's not, and I think even Aziraphale knows that, but that need to believe it can change, that you change it, yeah I get it. I really do.

I understand Sera's desperation to protect. I remember feeling St. Peter's aversion. The desperate bargaining we've seen from the cherubs trying to convince themselves what they're doing is right, or at least not wrong, I've done it. I see myself in Vaggie, trying to mend the damage she did. I was an armored gay. I know I too caused harm. Lucifer's abandonment issues and desire to just leave it all behind him or try to. It's all to real. And Crowley's disillusionment with everything? His belief that he is "on his own side", because where else could he possibly go? Yeah I get that too.

And I could go on

And on

And on

[parachutingkitten]

I have two sins that somwhat cohenside:

As a Cole stan for life I despise the Cole is gay HC and have had to abandon the tag because of its prevalence. Lavashipping is a NOTP and of all the art and edits I've seen polluting my Cole tag I still cant see any chemistry or dynamic between them besides they are both attractive. All the ninja ships are incest vibes (not just the gay ones. Looking at you Braincellshipping) to me as they treat eachother and call eachother brothers but at least there was tension and chemistry between the old days of Bruiseshipping. Lava's prevalence online had me quit for a long time as I couldnt understand why it randomly gained such traction and then showrunners made the dumb idea to try and bait fan perceptions in crystalized. I see cole as somewhat aromantic (although the term is mostly meaningless and used to describe anyone who is uncmfortable or disinterested with romance without analysing the deeper psychological reasons that might be the case) but he obviously wants to be a father and I don't see how any of his defined traits attribute to being the fans gay stand in besides the fact that fandom always has the urge to pick one to be the LGBT mascot and create content that isnt there simply for their own self indulgence. I like Coliel (if anyone remembers Seliel) as it leans into Coles obliviousness to advances while it shows off his honorable and protective personality. I don't find Cole particularly coded LGBT in any of the seasons up until Dragons rising, which the episode focussing it was badly written and OOC.

My other "sin" I suppose is I disown ALL of DR for being a horrible soft reboot that does everything a soft reboot shouldn't: messing with preestablished lore in an attempt to prop up these random new characters as just, if not more, powerful than our protagonists. The new writer has a horrible track record with character ensemble shows like TMNT 2012 and its a worthless slap in the face continuation of an ended series. The diologue is horrendously tacky and most jokes dont land. The push by the writers to add in fan characterizations and expand the lore beyond whats established is lazy and uninspired. There is so much left to explore in Ninjago the way it was. We never went to most of the continent but why try to write compelling stories and dramas with an already defined map when you could throw everything out the window and make your own sandbox, shoehorning it into Ninjago regardless on how ridiculous it looks and feels.

*exhale* alright. I lot to get through here.

there is nothing wrong with not HCing cole gay, especially if you seem him on the aro/ace spectrum. I'm in the exact same boat. And just because there are very prevalent gay interpretations of the text does not mean you have to adopt them, or watch them with that subtext in mind. The true potential episode can obviously really easily be read as a coming out allegory, and a lot of people have latched onto that. And good for them!

But it's just as easily read as a story about defying your parent's expectations for a career path- especially if that's something you can relate to. I think the episode works even better in that respect (cuz that's kinda more directly what it's about, but also) because it adds in this layer of also respecting the place where your parents came from and make their living with. Honestly, I didn't see any gay coding on my first watch through of that one dragons rising episode. I saw Cole's relationship with Geo as much more of a mentor/mentee thing, probably because he's typically taken on a father role. I thought Geo and Sora had more chemistry honestly, with that one scene where their bonding over rejection. That's the beauty of media, multiple interpretations! It sounds like you're letting the fandom color your viewing experience, and that's your problem. The crystalized kai/cole stuff can just as easily be read as brother shenanigans. Don't let fanon make things canon for you if you don't want them to.

I'm on the same page of not shipping the core 4 together. The early seasons were directly focused on their brotherhood in my view, so I get it. But, let's not begrudge people their imaginary LGBTQ rep. As far as I understand lavashipping took off cuz it's the only gay pairing of the main characters who could still potentially be canonically shipped together. Jaya and pixane are pretty set in stone, and lloyd is pretty much off limits. But kailor is very iffy in canon, and cole has never had a love interest. And even if I don't ship it, I can see the value of people having some level of hope that the show might give them some rep. But again, none of this means you have to ship it or feel bad for not shipping it.

Second, you've got some unique opinions on dragons rising. Cool. I don't think you're completely invalid or anything, but I do think some of these opinions might be a little biased?

You're mad it brought back the... finished tv show? The show that finished with crystalized? The worst possible ending of the show? Honestly, it wasn't that much more conclusive than other seasons. Ninjago has always struck me as an evergreen property- a world with endless adventures in it. To begrudge future stories for existing seems a little selfish to me. Ninjago should be a property that new kids can get into for years to come. I've got some problems with what dragons rising has done. I don't think the merge was the best way to go. I hate how needlessly small it makes everything feel. I think sora is a little too chosen-one-y. There are things to criticize here. But it's pulling a lot off. I think it's balanced screen time between old characters and new characters pretty well. It's established a fairly unique identity for itself, which can be a real struggle for sequel content. Again, I think you're coming into it with a distorted fandom lens which is making you hate it more. Not to say that you're wrong, but you're feelings associated with your opinions may be a little exaggerated.

if you have a sin you would like to confess, please direct it to @ninjago-sins

[thelarriefics]

FIRST DATE FIC REC: Below are fics that feature first dates. 

📖 Take A Chance On Me by @peachypetalhazz (39k)

When Harry receives two tickets to see one of his favourite bands, he'd expected that his best mate would accompany him. However, it is soon learned that the intentions behind this so-called gift were far more wondrous than he initially thought.

📖 under your bed in new york. by @the28thofseptemberr (33k)

au; spilling coffee onto an ex, being set up on dates, and having a nosy puppy might be all louis needs to find love again

📖 A Hungry Heart by @jacaranda-bloom (27k)

Harry Styles, florist and Great British Bake Off contestant, loves many things. He loves his flower shop, he loves baking, and there’s also that little crush he has on pop star Louis Tomlinson.

But when Louis arrives on set as the surprise guest judge, Harry’s worlds collide. Throw in a cup of cuteness, a teaspoon of teasing, and a pinch of pining, and there’s all the ingredients for an epic love story, or absolute chaos.

Or the one where the Bake Off tent has never been so hot, and it’s got nothing to do with what’s in the ovens.

📖 You be Stunning, Baby, I'll be Stunned by @crinkle-eyed-boo (14k)

Harry and Louis go on their first date.

📖 Butterflies and Delight by @sunshineandthemoonlight  (13k)

The one where Louis is new to Grindr, Harry loves wearing fun, quirky outfits, and Ziam are always around to convince Louis to take a chance at life. Featuring Harry’s terrible jokes, Louis as a single parent, and glittery drawings of swamp monsters.

📖 In a sky full of stars, be my Northern lights by @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed (13k)

It's one of those nights there's nothing on the telly that Louis absently scrolls through Tinder. After swiping left on a bunch of profiles he comes face to face with a picture that stops him in his tracks. The picture is..almost sweet. It’s a boy with brown curly hair, wearing a very low cut yellow blouse, paired with a black jacket. He’s got a smile on his face and his tongue sticking out, but it’s not in any way lewd or suggestive. He just looks like he’s having a good time, and something about the innocence of it has him swiping right rather than left.

📖 Crystal Ball on the Table by @becomeawendybird (12k)

Harry Styles is just an ordinary witch from an old-fashioned Boston family trying to survive in her regular job as the fiction manager at a local bookstore and café. Her magic isn't exactly something she advertises when looking for potential new girlfriends, so when Louis Tomlinson arrives in her life like a breath of fresh air, she tries her best to hide how strongly her magic is reacting to Louis' presence.

📖 You come in waves (we crash and we roll) by @rainbowsandlovehl (11k)

Three times Louis makes a fool of himself in front of Harry and one time he doesn't.

📖 Just the Start by @littleroverlouis (9k)

Louis is a fifty-two year old divorcé who has fallen into rut. He never anticipated a forced day of self care, and a chance meeting with a charming salon owner would shake him out of his comfort zone.

📖 We Might'a Took the Long Way by @evilovesyou (8k)

The story of a perfect first date, a mind-blowing first kiss, an interfering lawsuit, a lopsided bowl, flutes of champagne, a little bit of heartbreak, a fated tiktok, and lots and lots of art.

📖 I Roll 'til I Change My Luck by @larry-hiatus (8k)

Dating is hard enough when you're gay. When Louis reveals to his Tinder matches that he uses a wheelchair and has a service dog, things tend to get even more complicated. Too bad the guys on dating apps aren't as sweet and understanding as his best friend Harry...

📖 I want your midnights by @guccistrawberries (7k)

or It all starts with a harmless round of the name game

📖 As Time Goes By by @1diamondinthesun (6k)

Wow. Louis needed to get a grip. They hadn’t even opened the wine yet, and Louis was already fantasizing about cuddling Harry.

📖 We're Getting Better With Time by @haztobegood (5k)

Or, the one where Louis is single, Harry is recently divorced, and they reconnect on Facebook forty years after they first met.

📖 sweaty palms and racing hearts by @onlythebravest (1k)

A short story of two shy, nervous and blushing boys on a date at the cinema.

[pigspeetsandhooflikefeets]

ur tags on the one post PLS share some of ur wayne analysis if you’d like

I covered the fact Wayne represents the Frogs' logos (with Emma being the pathos but I'm still trying to decide who's ethos. Bowie? Julia? Julia misquotes the Dalai Lama and talks about goddesses and crystals, so probably her?) but it's really noticeable how malleable a person Wayne is. In Ep04, while he sets himself up for being on the offense with Raj, Bowie, and why-ever they brought MK along, when it was obvious they were better off defending, he was like. defense it is. As he is a sports boy, it'd be assumed he's only good at one position (as most goalies couldn't just become a center fielder as a sub, since they don't train for the same things), especially a less "glamourous" position such as defense (in reality it does not matter, but people pretend offense players are better) He's an exceptionally good sport, which is not something we can say about all the other sports-based/jock TD characters.

It's also to note that Wayne is the first person on the team to call out MK on being a bad team player. Wayne doesn't usually look mad, but he did NOT look happy at MK refusing to huddle up and suggest there's no reason to think strategy. He's completely ok with Emma taking over and picking roles tho, so he's pretty damn comfortable with not always being the leader (as noted with Ep02, where he adapts to Emma's plan. have I mentioned those two are such team leaders for the Frogs? A million times? Oh sorry)

There's a notable subversion with their paired identities for Wayne and Raj. Wayne is the captain, while Raj is [one of the] alternate captain[s]. Essentially, Raj is Wayne's vice president. However, Wayne is a lot more reliant on Raj, than their team identities are. Throughout the season, Wayne asks Raj's opinion on everything (notably in Ep01, as one of his first defining characterizations), but Raj doesn't as often do the same. In Ep06, Raj is the one to immediately leave the catapult, while Wayne made no motion to be the one to separate themselves. He also didn't comment on Bowie calling the two of them in their "cozy", (which Raj defends, saying they're teammates, so) because that sort of attachment is so normal to Wayne he doesn't feel a need to react to people commenting on it, while Raj does. In Ep03, Wayne receives a [long] pep talk from Raj, but Raj never needed one himself going first of Emma's suggestion (or it happened off screen, but like, if it did there'd be the time for a joke where someone says "WE ALREADY DID THIS"). And also the bit in Ep06 where Raj explains Wayne has a way too stressed face when pooping (note: Raj?)

There's also the long-running plot point where Wayne is pretty concerned with what Raj thinks of him, afraid that Raj is afraid he's homo/biphobic, and that's the driving reason that Raj didn't come out to him like. Immediately. The fear of "well he tells me everything, if he won't tell me this, it's clearly something I did", but due to the 13 episode time limit of the show, Wayne didn't have time to make this insecurity about him and was just increasingly unsubtle, never really trying to force him out.

I know it's super easy and super fun to reduce the two to "omg sports himbos <3" but Wayne's got some emotional intelligence on him, and he is not a carbon copy of Raj, and it's much more than just the lack of a gay love interest. He'll always take the role of leader, but if someone else has a successful idea, he'll hop down and let them take the wheel. Paired with his leadership, friendly attitude, and general respect for everyone around him (not to Keith tho) I can see him making finale a lot more than I can see Raj making finale.

I think having the boys on separate teams and having Raj leave pre-merge could be really impactful. Wayne waits at the cabin for Raj to come back and tell him who left, but he just... never returns. Wayne wasn't at the ceremony, so he didn't even get to say goodbye. Wayne wants to throw the challenge but someone (Emma, Bowie, Julia, etc) tells him to snap out of it because Raj would be furious Wayne gave up on himself. And Wayne has to pick himself up off the ground and win for Raj. Like the Katie and Sadie micro-arc, except give Wayne more time to suffer within himself before being told to stop, as well as not axe him with no actual development. I think that kind of emotional rupture could change my brain chemistry.

[invisibleraven]

Comfort prompt--"breathe." Sweet tarts

By now, Carrie is pretty used to her dad's eccentricities. The crystals and meditation room upstairs, evidence of his ego in the foyer, all white walls and bland furniture.

She rolls her eyes as he uses his helicopter to see his quack therapist, or go get the latest fad vegetarian super food, even though it would be easier to drive, or hell, even walk.

But when he disappears, she's kinda freaked out.

Look, Trevor Wilson will never win the award for World's Best Dad, but he still always lets Carrie know if he's leaving. Yet when she wakes up that Sunday morning to no note, his room empty, the copter still there, she worries.

Her dad isn't the type to go on walks, he's nowhere on the grounds, and his phone goes straight to voice mail. She curses them not installing cameras on the door, just so she could have checked them, but Trevor insisted the gate and razor wire was enough. Carrie had snorted at that-if Flynn and Julie could scale it, then how safe was it really?

She's honestly trying not to panic, but it's hard. Her dad's fame had started to wane a little since his last few albums had flopped, but he still had plenty of fans. Some of whom had threatened and promised awful things in the past. Had one of them finally carried through?

She knew it was too early to get any police involved, and even after calling Dr. Crystal, she had no leeds. So maybe it was desperation, maybe it was just needing to hear some reassurances-she called Reggie.

Reggie Peters had been her math tutor all year, and honestly the only reason Carrie passed with a high enough mark to graduate-her and numbers didn't get along alright?

But they had also struck up a tentative friendship, with Reggie sending her corny jokes or songs she might like, and she replied back with terrible memes and a playlist of gay country songs that made him laugh.

"Carrie?" he answered. "Not like you to call this early on a weekend."

The sound of his voice made her started to sob and she couldn't stop even as she word vomited over the phone at him. "R-reggie... my dad... he's gone and I don't know where he is and I'm freaking out and I didn't know who else to call..."

"Okay, slow down doll, breathe for me okay? Breathe."

Carrie hiccupped a little then slowly drew breath, blowing it out, over and over until the tears stopped. "Okay, I'm breathing."

"Good. Look, I'm gonna come over okay? We can figure this out, and then you won't be alone-you shouldn't be alone right now. You want me to bring you some snacks?" Reggie asked.

"We do have food here," Carrie replied.

"Yeah, no sugar no calorie no taste vegan crap," Reggie replied, making her snort. "I'm talking an actual snack-full of carbs and high fructose."

"Pink SnoBalls and the super spicy Takis?" Carrie asked.

"I'll get you a disgusting kale smoothie to even it all out," Reggie promised. "You want me to stay on the line until I get there?"

Carrie was so tempted to say please, to hear him cheerfully talk at her, have the comfort of his voice in her ear. But what if her dad called? Or worse, the people who may have her dad? So she shook her head before saying no. "I'll be alright-just... hurry please?"

"I'll be there in two shakes doll, I promise."

True to his word, Reggie was there before she knew it, and she barely waited for him to get out of the car before launching herself into his arms. Reggie caught her though, rubbing soothing circles into her back as he whispered words of comfort into her hair. "Come on, let's go inside and we'll see if we can find out what's going on, okay?"

"Okay."

Carrie let him hold her as they sat on the couch, gorging themselves on the snacks Reggie brought, while Carrie started texting and calling any acquaintance of her dad to see if they knew where he was.

No leads yet, and finally Reggie encouraged her to call the authorities, even if they waved her off, it would give her piece of mind.

Only as she lifted her phone up, an unknown number flashed on the screen. She gripped Reggie's hand, and he nodded as she answered. "Hello?"

"Carrie?"

"Daddy! Where are you?"

"Baby I'm so sorry I worried you. I went out to get some papaya-I even got an Uber because I remember you lecturing me about the helicopter. But then I found this cute little farmer's market and there's a booth here selling Filipino food like my lola used to make, and I got caught up talking to them. Didn't realize my phone died, so they're letting me use theirs. I'll be home soon okay?" Trevor explained.

"You didn't leave a note," Carrie sobbed.

"I figured I would be back before you got up, I am so sorry Carrie," Trevor replied.

"You'd better be. And bring me back some turon."

"You got it baby girl."

Carrie then looked at Reggie who was still there, holding her hand, smiling wide. "Actually daddy? Bring back two."

[wilcze-kudly]

Silly little Weilin headcanons because I'd die for the dumb rock boyfriends:

Zaofu is a pretty liberal place, so Wei is openly gay. In my head he had a big crush on Bolin since Bolin first came to Zaofu.

Bolin was a closeted bisexual who thought it was very normal straight guy friend behaviour to wanna passionately kiss the homies on the lips with tongue.

Wei can dance and him and Wing are part of their mother's dance troupe. He likes to teach Bolin different dances and they have a lot of fun doing that.

Bolin likes to be chivalrous and act gentlemanly like opening doors and kissing the back of Wei's hand. Wei will roll his eyes and call him cheesy but secretly enjoy it

They LOVE to work out together

Both being super competitive, they love to spar and race and stuff.

Bolin talks a lot and likes to ramble. Wei likes to sit and listen.

Wei has ridiculously big arsenal of 'that's hot' jokes and innuendos for when Bolin lavabends

Big on physical affection. If they're in the same room they're almost always cuddling or holding hands or smth. Definitely that annoying couple that is super touchy feely with one another.

LITTLE SPOON BOLIN. Wei just hangs off him like a backpack. It's awkward, but Bolin enjoys being held and Wei enjoys holding Bolin. His arm does fall asleep almost every day, because Bolin is HEAVY.

Wei is one of those annoying health nut people. He wakes up at the ass crack of dawn to go jogging. Bolin is not a fan of this arrangement. He complains and tries to keep Wei in bed and get him to cuddle.

Wei prefers to eat more healthy food, but wil occasionally steal sweets and the like from Bolin's plate. Bolin has learnt to take extra of the stuff he knows Wei likes.

Pabu likes to steal Wei's shiny jewellery and hoard it. Wei lets Bolin choose which jewellery he should wear for the day. Bolin takes this job very seriously.

Bolin is a good cook. Wei can only cook if given very clear and slow step by step instructions. The only reason he's even allowed in the kitchen is because metalbending makes things go faster. [If you can't use your metalbender boyfriend as a blender what's even the point of anything]

Despite Wei's ineptitude, they love cooking toghether. Though often cooking toghether is just codeword for making out on top of the counter while the food burns.

Bolin's a plant dad. He has a lot of plants and gives them funny names. He started collecting them after Wei once gave him a potted sunflower. No one had gotten Bolin flowers before and maybe he cried a little.

Wei collects crystals and cool rocks. Idk what else to say. His mom collects meteorites. Bolin will often give him cool little pieces of magma rock or other cool lookkng rocks he found or stuff like that.

I feel they'd both want to get married. They would both get an engagement ring for the other without the other knowing.

Bolin Beifong has a very nice ring to it, don't it?

Between Bolin knowing what it's like to be an orphan and Wei having grown up in a big family, I can see them adopting a lot of kids. Though I can also imagine Wei being hesitant to have kids, due to the whole Baatar Jr and Kuvira thing.

That's all for now, i think i might write some more later. This ship needs more content.

[siriannatan]

Heroes Of Empire City

Part 2

About the Heroes:

Scott 'Major' /called 'Pigeon' by Jimmy/ - ice powers, has a bit of trouble controlling them, even if he has high cold resistance overuse of his powers carries the danger of hypothermia - his powers give him wings, can hide them but it does leave a big sigil on his back, and change his appearance a lot so he does not really need a mask - hero Major is cold, calm and collected and distant - Scott is a massive flirt, not too social, kinda very gay and distraught by his lack of a boyfriend - protective of his older twin brother but does trust him to make good decisions - it might have been his brother that convinced him to become a hero

fWhip 'Tinkerer' /or 'Hot Stuff' by Scott when no one's listening/ - fire powers, very destructive, he mostly relies on his inventions and gadgets - designs most of the support gear the Agency's heroes carry on them - a lot more confident and out-spoken as a hero, and quite snappy - fWhip prefers to stay indoors and tends to hide behind Gem or any friend he's with when faced with having to talk to people - will throw hands if anyone insults Gem in his earshot

Gem 'Amethyst' - crystal control, usually creates amethyst dragons to fight by her side, and flies on a crystal broom, if she creates too many constructs her head hurts and she gets ravenous- fWhip's older sister (twin?), will not hesitate to smack him if he misbehaves - a lot quieter and more distant as a hero than civilian - will punch you if you talk badly about her brother - thinks Katherine's assistant Pear is pretty cute, especially the flowers that often pop up in her hair

Sausage 'Sanctuary' - can control plants, can't just make them out of nowhere, can heal and detect wounds but it is dangerous to use on not super-powered individuals, - can't use his healing on himself but luckily he's dating Pixl who is a nurse - his personality barely changes as a hero, often jokes that's why Sanctuary is his favourite hero 'we're just so similar, how can I not' - very popular with children. Every holiday season a new Sanctuary toy is launched with all proceeds going to charity

Joel 'Stratos' - No1 hero of the Empires City - can summon and control thunder, overuse will cause him considerable headaches and might even change the weather, often causes power outages, - husband of the number one mayoral candidate Lizzie - a lot noisier and more boisterous as a hero -as Jimmy's relative he's banned from working with the police more than necessary - always floats a bit as a hero to look taller - similar to Scott does not need a mask, his powers change his appearance when active

Shelby 'Shrub' - a new hero just like Scott - mushroom based powers, can make them appear about anywhere and release spores with different effects - fWhip made special filters so she can fight alongside other heroes without having to worry about hurting them - lacks confidence, looks up to Sanctuary, - maybe a future mentor? - might have a big crush on the Agency's president - Katherine

[hazbinbossbrainrot]

⚡️ Thunder Howler (OC)⚡️

Russian name: Molniya

Note: Since Thunder is a copycat of Blitz — but less dysfunctional — and I decided to do the translation of the name Molniya which, in German, means “Lightening” 😈

Theme songs:

Goals:

• To get Stolas to understand that he deserves better and to coax him away from his dysfunctional relationship with Blitz

* Also to make sure Stolas is more than loved physically, mentally, and emotionally; to treat him with kindness, respect (things he had been lacking from both Stella & Blitz)

• For Thunder to rekindle the estrangement between him and his biological daughter (even if it meant he allowed Loona to continue her familial relationship with Blitz, despite how hostile he felt about it)

Basics:

Species: Demon (Hellhound)

Sex type: Bottom (sub)

Sexuality: Pansexual

Ages:

• 30 years old (for Stolas)

• 18 years old (for Phoebe OC)

Height: 8ft tall

Sex: Male

Occupation(s):

• Bodyguard for Verosika Mayday (formerly)

* Got replaced by Vortex as soon as she had heard about Thunder giving his daughter up for adoption

• Prince Constort

* Through being married to Stolas, if their relationship goes very well

• Spelling Bee Champion

(Definite dig at Blitz and his spelling 🤣)

• Lead singer of his band (part time)

* Genre: TBD

• Florist (full time)

Nationality:

• Russian 🇺🇦 (from mum)

*So, unlike Blitz, who cusses purposely for aggression, Thunder does it because it’s part of his Slavic culture and they’re known for it.

• English 🇬🇧 (taught by Stolas)

_____________________________________

Flaws:

• Autism / ADHD

• Stage fright

• Insomnia

• Dyslexic

Strengths:

• Sexually experienced

*Thunder is more experienced than Stolas with both male and female partners, which is good because he can teach him what he likes and dislikes when come to being sexually active

• Literacy & spelling (like Stolas 😂)

• Emotionally stable

• Vulnerability

Weaknesses:

• Being family oriented

• Englishness (broken)

* Thunder may be perceived as pushy and gruff due to Russian being his first language for example: “you get better” (and really the accent doesn’t help 😂)

• Pacifism

* Unlike Stolas, who selectively kills as a last resort, Thunder will not be able to murder people even when it comes to friends & family being in danger

Likes:

• Intellectual games

* Crossword puzzles

* Rubiks cube

* Scrabble etc

• Educating people on things

* Particularly telling/showing Stolas CAN be gentle when it comes to having sex (and that it doesn’t have to be BDSM all the time)

• Complimenting on his boyfriend & rewarding him with public affection

• Gardening

* Given Thunder’s occupation, of course, and it fits in very well with one Stolas’s favourite hobbies 🥹

• Musical talents

* Being the leader singer of his unnamed band

• Jokes (especially when Stolas makes them)

• Speaking in his mother (native) tongue

• Calling Blitz by his deadname/vowel

• Stolas being a top (dominant) 😏

• His daughter (familial way)

• Stolas’s human form

• Family orientation

• Reading books

• Soap operas

• Positivity

• Therapy

• Sex (making love)

* Being a bottom

* Gentleness

* Pillow talk

* Foreplay

Sex kinks:

• Human forms

* If bedding a hellhound, Goetia and succubi / incubi (with the help of the Asmodean Crystals)

• Multiple languages

* Mainly the arousing ones like Italian or Spanish

• Being dominated

• Praising Stolas

• Role playing

• Leg fetish

Dislikes:

• Swearing

*Again, it’s apart of his culture to swear — unlike Blitz who does it out of aggression — but even though he does it himself he still doesn’t like it. Stolas would be pleased he doesn’t have to say “language!” every 5 minutes - which is ironic because he swears too… awww soulmates!! 🤣)

• His family being strictly homophobic (especially about Stolas’s sexuality)

* In Russia the punishable offence of being gay is death, so Thunder doesn’t mean to be a hypocrite, but it was how he was raised by, culture-wise

• Constantly being compared to Blitz and reminded that Thunder was never there for Loona as a father

• Stolas getting hurt (emotionally and physically)

• The song “Hound Dog” by Elvis Presley

• Blitz being a good dad to Loona 🤣

• Striker trying to kill Stolas (twice)

• Being treated like a pet / servant

• “Quiet Time” being interrupted

• Loona being upset with him

• The idea of eating rats

• Being rough in bed

• Murders >>> I.M.P

• Dysfunction

• Blitz himself

_____________________________________

Romantic interests:

• Stolas of the Ars Goetia (boyfriend ❤️‍🩹)

• Moona Moonstone (baby mama)

• Verosika Mayday (formerly)

• Blitz Buckzo (temporarily)

_____________________________________

Friends:

• Moxxie & Millie Knolastname

• Loona Buckzo / Howler

• Joe & Lin

Other:

• T.J. of the Ars Goetia

* illegitimate child of Stolas & Blitz

• Blitz(o) Buckzo

* Arch rival & co-parent of Loona

Enemies:

• Hellhound Adoption Centre

* For mistreating Loona for years on end 😈

• Andrealpus & Stella

• King Paimon

• Striker

_____________________________________

Nicknames:

• Alejandro (by Stolas, when role playing 😆)

* My dear/love

* Darling

• Your guy (by Angel Dust, to Stolas)

• Thunder (by Loona & Stolas)

• Hound (by Alarik - RP)

• Brother (by Anastasia)

• Molniya (by Anfisa)

• Mutt (by Blitz)

_____________________________________

Family:

Mother: Anfisa Belovuk-Howler

Father: Richard Howler (✝️)

Sister: Anastasia Howler

Immediate:

Husband: Stolas of the Ars Goetia

(step) Daughter: Octavia of the Ars Goetia

(biological) Daughter: Loona Buckzo / Howler (estranged)

(adoptive) Daughter: T.J. of the Ars Goetia

* She is also the illegitimate child of Stolas & Blitz

Extended:

Father-in-law: King Paimon of the Ars Goetia

Mother-in-law: Queen Octavia of the Ars Goetia (Sr) (✝️)

Unnamed aunts and uncles AKA Stolas’s siblings

_____________________________________

Family name:

• Howler (original)

• Ars Goetia (via Stolas)

• Buckzo (via Blitz)

_____________________________________

Abilities:

• Weapon proficiency

• Human disguise

• Night vision

Unique:

* Dog noises

Skills set:

• Polyglot tongue

_____________________________________

Appearance & personality:

Thunder is a white and grey wolf-like hellhound with red sclera and white irises (similar to Loona). He has a athletic build from his days of body guarding as well as moving around horticultural and it’s items

Human form:

TBD

How would you describe Thunder’s personality?

(Pretty much everything that Blitz isn’t 😂)

• Homophobic

* As a part of his culture which includes killing people who are actually gay! Which is why he had run away from home because he didn’t want to be killed for being attracted to men half (pun intended) of the time

* Jealous of Blitz and Stolas’s relationship 😆

* Professional

* Respectful

* Protective

* Comedic

* Honest

* Patient

* Loyal

* Kind

* Wise

_____________________________________

Relationships:

Anfisa Belovuk-Howler:

Thunder’s mother was very strict with his upbringing and very much a homophobic which had lead Thunder to keeping it a secret that, if in future, he was pansexual.

He also oftentimes didn’t understand his mother’s accent or why she wanted him to learn Slavic languages but he went understood the best he could have done.

Ever since being forced to put Loona up for adoption as a pup, Thunder had cut all contact with Anfisa and taken his father’s surname, despite not being a “good influence”

Richard Howler:

Thunder had never met his father because he died when he was a puppy but he hadn’t heard good things about him so he was really indifferent about it.

Anastasia Belovuk-Howler:

TBD

Moona Moonstone:

Moona was Thunder’s first one night stand as he had begun to dabble around with his sexuality. But unfortunately he was more reckless than careful and soon enough impregnated her by accident.

Loona Buckzo / Howler:

Thunder has never met his daughter and when he had briefly, as a pup, Anfisa had stomped on it and told him to put her through an orphanage (preparing her storyline with Blitz 😈) and that no son of hers will be a father to a “bastard” child out of wedlock

His goal is make it up to Loona for “abandoning” her and putting her in the Hellhound Adoption Centre as a puppy and wants to rekindle their estranged father/daughter relationship

Stolas of the Ars Goetia:

The relationship became complicated whilst they were both “rebounding” (on the owl’s part 😂) from their previous relationships. Thunder first met Stolas in a gardening store to pick up some supplies for his flower shop.

Stolas had told Thunder that the didn’t want anything more than causal sex because he was still hurting from his “relationship” which both parties were in agreement.

Over time as Thunder and Stolas grew closer and closer to one another they eventually developed into a natural relationship (after many arguments, hurt feelings, and growth, and some respective therapy sessions)

Blitz Buckzo:

Thunder had NEVER liked Blitz. Not on— okay, maybe for a while he had, but that had been before finding out about his personality and type of person he was.

He also hadn’t liked the way Stolas would speak of him highly and even announced that he sometimes missed their situationship affair.

Thunder would oftentimes remind Stolas that he was in a better relationship now and that he didn’t need Blitz or his dysfunction anymore, that, he had done it out of the goodness of his heart to give him the book so he can continue his business but it wasn’t reciprocated in return.

Angel Dust:

Angel Dust had been the one to introduce Thunder to Stolas to help him “get over” Blitz and help the latter start his new life

T.J. of the Ars Goetia:

Thunder was excited to be a father to T.J. to begin with — hoping to incorporate some of his GOOD traits into her — but when she started having more of Blitz’s mannerisms he started to become more indifferent & polite towards her

[some-of-us-watch-the-sunset-too]

hey i would love to see what characters you pair me with. i haven't really been in the fandom or considered who i would work with best for awhile so i'm curious to see if it's changed since i was younger.

okay so my name is leo, im sixteen, im a junior in highschool. i identify as a gender-fluid gay guy (i like men and use he/him pronouns). i have golden-reddish (it's a strange color) hair down to my chest although i want to get it cut/get layers in it soon. i have green eyes. i wear glasses that are thick-rimmed and nerdy. i have naturally long eyelashes. i have a very square jaw and pale skin. i have random dark freckles on my arms here and there. im 5'6. my style is literally all over the place but usually im either in sweatpants and a sweatshirt (either a purple rhett and link one or a beige on with different colored pickles on it) or a graphic tee shirt, jeans, and a denim or leather jacket.

personality wise well i like to think of myself as a pretty creative person. i try to find meaning in the mundane in my life. im not religious although i do enjoy tarot and crystals. i have always had a problem with building myself around other people. ill get addicted to certain friends to fill a void in me that thinks people need to save me/fix me. this doesn't work because it leads me to be very codependent and when people leave me (which they can! it's natural. nothing lasts forever) it totally messes up my self esteem. so im trying to build that self love and develop better relationships with other people.

i like art and writing, fall out boy, the outsiders, good mythical morning. i like learning about LGBTQ history, especially the aids crisis. im currently reading a book on it right now called "and the band played on." my favorite foods is shells with cheese. i like good friends and people that i can connect with on a deeper level. i like when people i talk to have lives that don't revolve around me. i also enjoy surrealist sculpture. i really enjoy felix gonzalez-torres's work. i like all sorts of different types of music. lately ive been very into folk, 80s new wave, and 2000s pop punk/emo.

i dislike terfs and transphobes and homophobes and things like that. i absolutely loathe loud chewers. i have a mental disorder called misophonia and so the sounds of chewing trigger me and trigger my fight or flight. it's absolutely horrible. i hate stupid people. i don't like peanut butter. i hate when people make aids jokes. i hate not feeling included or hated. i care a lot about my image and i hate when it looks bad.

i like to make art and write poetry. i listen to a lot of music, even though i can't make any. for art, i like working with graphite pencil and colored pencil the most, but i work with all different things in class. im in advanced arts classes at school. i auditioned when i was in middle school and now im gonna take ap art next year. for poetry, i usually write in free verse about personal things. i have a livejournal i post on sometimes. i run a poetry/art magazine club at my school where people can share things they've made.

i think that covers pretty much everything! sorry for how insanely long this is. i hope that sums up myself pretty well. i try to be myself. just yourself be if weird is you.

i think i’d match you with dallas! i’m a firm believer that dally has a very soft side so i think he’d love to both our little braids in your hair and to draw on your arms. he would love if you drew him. i could imagine you sitting on dally’s bed in bucks place while he’s leaning out the window smoking a cigarette. then you’d start making little sketches of him. once he notices he’d start flexing his muscles and posing n stuff.

there you have it hope it’s alright!

[dankusner]

Eric Rhodes NYT obit

An Early Death but Perhaps Not a Surprise

— Jacob Bernstein

THE bereaved reactions on Twitter came from all over:

Kim Hastreiter, the editor of Paper Magazine;

Bruce LaBruce, the independent film director;

and Jake Shears of the Scissor Sisters, who called his recently departed friend “brave” and “honest.”

The source of their grief?

Erik Rhodes, 30, a 6-foot-4, 258-pound gay pornographic-film star who died last Thursday in Manhattan from a heart attack after a nearly decade-long career that had made him an unlikely celebrity in some New York social circles.

He appeared regularly on Page Six, spent time with the designer Marc Jacobs, was profiled in magazines that had nothing to do with pornography, and shot an ad campaign for Loehmann’s.

Over the last few years, he had also been the author of a harrowing (and frequently clever) Tumblr feed, on which he detailed his escapades escorting, his rampant steroid use and his stories of winding up in psychiatric wards after crystal meth binges.

(The blog was taken down last weekend, shortly after news of his death ricocheted around the Internet.)

Mr. Rhodes, whose given name was James Naughtin, was signed to Falcon Video in 2004, and became one of a handful of recognizable faces in an era when the industry was going through a painful economic contraction, thanks to online file sharing and free pornography sites like Xtube.

“The gay porn audience often looks to a hulking macho fantasy, and he provided that,” said Michael Musto, the Village Voice gossip columnist who was friendly with Mr. Rhodes.

“He was Thor, the Hulk and the rest of the ‘Avengers’ cast wrapped in a gay package. And the fashion connection and the fact that he had a brain elevated him from your everyday escort-slash-porn-god and gave him texture.”

Mickey Boardman, the editorial director of Paper, said, “We would see him out all the time,” adding:

“He was hilarious. He was totally self-aware, and the stories he would tell me were unbelievable.”

Mr. Rhodes grew up with his identical twin, Jon Naughtin, in Massapequa, N.Y., two children whose parents had a long and nasty divorce.

Only Mr. Naughtin went to college, and Mr. Rhodes took a stream of low-paying jobs, working at a CVS and a sex-toy store, before moving into stripping and then pornographic films at 22.

At first, Mr. Naughtin, who is straight, was inclined to be open-minded about his brother’s new career.

“I thought it was fine,” he said.

“And I was a little naïve about how much money he was making. I thought, ‘If it pays the bills, why not?’ ”

Erik Rhodes talked of dying young for many years.

Sometimes he was joking, sometimes not.

But as the Web replaced video stores as the delivery mechanism for adult content, Mr. Rhodes found his salary shrinking, even while his celebrity rose.

And there were other problems.

“People faulted him for doing steroids, which was the thing that allowed him to be the ideal they wanted,” said Samuel Colt, an actor who appeared with Mr. Rhodes on-screen and was a friend for the last several years of his life.

“And people were always trying to push drugs onto him.”

Things went from bad to worse.

Mr. Rhodes got into fights with boyfriends, and the police would be called.

Famous friends like Mr. Jacobs, who did not respond to calls for comment for this article, fell away.

Mr. Rhodes went from using steroids to dealing them.

And then, a few years ago, he tested positive for H.I.V.

According to Mr. Colt, Mr. Rhodes found this out when he went to shoot a scene for Randy Blue, a company that requires testing.

“They said, ‘Your test results came back, and you’re H.I.V. positive,’ ” Mr. Colt said.

Nevertheless, Randy Blue still managed to get Mr. Rhodes to film a solo scene that day, Mr. Colt said.

As the novelty of being in pornographic films wore off, Mr. Rhodes turned increasingly to the Internet, using his Tumblr feed and his Facebook page to discuss his sense of anguish.

“I feel so left out … so alone,” he wrote in a post just weeks ago.

On June 13, after a night in which Mr. Rhodes was hired along with another escort to perform for a wealthy client (according to text messages later read by his brother), the two men continued the evening on their own, having sex and doing drugs.

But Mr. Rhodes quickly realized that he was not feeling well and cut the evening short.

Once home, he apparently went into cardiac arrest and was pronounced dead in a hospital shortly thereafter, his brother said.

For many years, Mr. Rhodes talked of an early death, sometimes joking, sometimes not.

Now it was here.

Mr. Naughtin looks back with regret at the casual attitude he took when his brother told him he was going into pornography.

“I wouldn’t have let him get into it,” he said. “I would say that’s not a direction that can lead anywhere good.”

: An article last Thursday about Erik Rhodes, the pornographic-film actor who was born James Naughtin, misspelled the given name of his twin brother.

He is Jon Naughtin, not John.

[harmonyckrs]

DAY 13 of Twisted Strangetown: Two Birds, One Drone

THE PREVIOUS DAY

*BZZT. ZOOM.*

Melody: There is he. That motherfucker, chilling inside of that house.

Melody: Now would be a perfect time to kill him. Flo never requested it, but she did say to make sure he was silent, and quite frankly, I'm not in the mood to fly this drone 24/7 just to keep an eye on him.

Melody: Three, two-

Lola: CHLOE! I TOLD YOU NOT TO FLY DRONES AROUND THE HOUSE AGAIN!

*CRASH*

Melody: What the fuck! Someone just knocked my drone down?...I guess I'll have to call Zephyr to get it for me...

*RING*

Zoya: (Melody's calling me?...I'm just going to ignore that for now.)

Harper: So, Kristen. What do you think? Do you want to avenge Erin's death and take out the Smiths for us?

Kristen: I mean...how do I know you two aren't lying? And they're all super sweet! I really don't think it's them...how do I know it's not one of you two who killed Erin, huh?

Harper: I hacked into the SCIA's security system and I was able to get documents. They go into a lot of detail about Erin's death, though...Mr. Smith was not easy on her...I can't bear to describe it, but I can find the documents and read out the-

Kristen: NO! It's fine. I'll...figure something out. But what do you two get out of this?

Harper: Well, Erin was a beloved friend of ours! It's so rare to find someone that I can talk about crystals and stuff with.

Zoya: Yeah, and we used to do yoga together.

*RING RING*

Zoya: (Geez, Melody, calm down. Whatever you're calling for can't be that urgent.)

Kristen: Okay...sounds fair to me.

Zoya: Great! Now, if you excuse me, I have a phone call I need to take...

Melody: Yo. Gilbert. I need you to do me a favor.

Gilbert: Yes? What's going on?

Melody: Someone broke my drone that I was going to use to kill Lazlo, but I just came to an epiphany about something. You know that gay wedding order you got?

Gilbert: The one from Lazlo's brother?...oh! Listen, Melody. I get what you're doing, but that's going to be a no from me. It'd be really bad for business, and I don't want to kill any more people than I need to.

Melody: Are there no modification requests or anything?

Gilbert: Yes, but it's only for lactose intolerance. That won't kill them, and it'll still be bad for business.

Melody: Ugh.

Gilbert: Besides, I don't like tampering with my father's recipes. If I don't follow them to a T, I'll burn the venue down. And that's going to be even worse for business.

Melody: Ugh! You're so boring.

Gilbert: Can't you just get the drone repaired? Or ask Flo. She's going to be at the wedding too because they ordered flower arrangements.

Melody: (Flo, Jenny and Lazlo in the same place, huh?...I've got to find a way to get inside! I don't want to miss out on all of the drama that's going to come out of that!)

Melody: (Now to call Zephyr again...)

Crystal: And then he said he was removing everyone's plus one just so I couldn't be able to attend the wedding! It's like I live rent free in his head!

Abhijeet: Wow, he seems like a bitch!

Crystal: But jokes on him, because while he's busy with his wedding planning and hosting his shitty wedding party, I'm going to break into Circe's house and get my one million dollars!

Abhijeet: You go, girl! I hope his wedding's as shitty as he is!

Lazlo: !!!

Crystal: Totally! He's genuinely one of the worst people I've ever met, and his boyfriend is even worse! They're basically perfect for each other.

Lazlo: >:(

Crystal: Dude, you don't need to ride-or-die for your family anymore. I haven't talked to mine in ages, and I'm doing great!

Abhijeet: Mine are all dead!

Crystal: Exactly! And since I'm the only child, I still get to inherit all of SimCity once my dad eventually passes over! I know fully well he's not going to hand it back to the people.

Crystal: Anyway Lazlo, what was it you were trying to tell me?...a note?...alright. Let me see...you want me to help you reverse the curse? I can't help you with that. Just kill two people like she requested.

Lazlo: ?!

Crystal: Oh, right. Yeah, Abby and I were at her house when she was cursing you and we heard everything...stop giving me that face! I'm not happy about Jenny being killed either, but there's nothing we can do.

Abhijeet: Yeah! Absolutely no-

*CREAK*

Crystal: (Shoot! Zephyr and Harper are here early! I'll just...throw something at him real quick so it looks like we're fighting!)

Crystal: Haha! Gotcha! Water balloon fight!

Abhijeet: That's, um, hilarious, Crystal! Torment him more!

Harper: Ooh! I wanna go next! I have so many objects in my purse.

Zephyr: Let's not. We'll have to clean up the mess after, and you know how Flo is about that...and besides, should Lazlo really be here after what he did last meeting?

Abhijeet: Chill out. What's he going to do, tell people?

Zephyr: He already did! Melody told me he was using paper.

Crystal: Oh. Well...I guess we can talk about it more after the meeting.

TO BE CONTINUED...

[kanyefestworld]

#YE24: Love is Not Enough

When Ye made this post last month, there was widespread celebration from Ye fans on twitter. They talked about how he was "back" and how we had held him down through this "era." As if anything had actually changed. This response which we first thought was ironic was entirely sincere on their part and they got indignant with media sources treating it skeptically, like it was a joke (which it was!).

This showed how out-of-touch these folks are. The most important part was Ye re-emphasizing that he himself is a semite of color, however these "anti-woke" folks do not understand how much damage & ignorance is spread by their holocaust, pandemic, and homophobia denying community that commiserates daily on how to control womens' bodies via banning them from medical care.

And they think a joke about 21 Jump Street (not even You People, the actual Jonah Hill movie from 2023 about relations between white semites & black semites that quotes YE extensively) means that all is forgiven. Let's all follow Ye's supposed advisor Ali Alexander while Ali tweets about how queer ppl are responsible for the apocalypse. Yay!

It turns out Ali Alexander himself has been ex-communicated for inappropriately messaging teenage boys. And he publicly demeaned everyday queer people while he himself lived out an abusive, harmful lifestyle. This kind of con is often pointed out by queer activists, and we're not here to psychoanalyze him. But the people who followed him? Who couldn't tell that this man is a professional misleader, that the company he runs with are career grifters? They're exactly as gullible and impressionable and dangerous as everyone says.

But we want them to be useful. If #YE24 showed us anything it's that these people need purpose. We'd like to give it to them, via Ye's actual platform. How? And what is Ye's actual platform, anyway? Nazism? "Racism isn't real"? Banning abortions & gay ppl? No.

#HEAL: Ye's platform calls for a better justice. Because KANYEFEST is not some guy using metaphors and evasive language to appear virtuous we're going to be crystal clear: what Ye demands is Transformative Justice. Donda is an anti-prison album, the release parties were metaphors for Ye being Larry Hoover trapped in a cell. For Jesus Is King Ye toured prisons shouting about abolishing slavery & jail in the revolution.

The kind of communication and community he calls for is the same that Leftist activists invoke: abolition. They have the same failures of modeling justice that is transparent and doesn't "throw people away" for doing harm. Because as the Chicago Reader put it when profiling our TJ work: the hard work of healing from violence doesn't get done if everyone doesn't share it.

Ye supporters, especially ones who enabled and empowered Ali (and who have no idea where he is or who might be enabling him now) must give to our survivor fund. They've been donating to grifters and manipulators in his network that did nothing but make our problems worse and exacerbate division. Our survivor fund is the first of its kind and the way to model justice moving forward. Abusers like Ali are known for suing their victims to quell further reprisal. All the moral support in the world doesn't pay for the legal and medical bills, not to mention folks' general well being that's shattered by such acts - especially when the abuser is in a place of power.

Ali will need his own accountability process. It will require the participation of the people who have supported him, as well as advocates for those he harmed. Folks like Nick Fuentes (who reportedly "knew") are in his "pods" and responsible. We, as #YE24, will do what others can't. We will be accountable. That's real love.

#GROW: During his presidential rally YE talked about farming and the energy potential of the earth itself. He moved out to Wyoming and grew food, promising to end hunger and homelessness. As black farmers from the southside who feed and house people for free to build utopia- we don't have to wait for Ye. His job was to inspire us. And he went above and beyond, even releasing a video with mayoral candidate Amara Enyia and the late Virgil Abloh where they plotted to build shelters in our city and completely revolutionize living as we know it, overnight.

#cynical people dismissed this work but we didn't. We are Ye's vision. Before he went on 2022's anti-caucasian semitic crusade Ye promised, again, to build farms that were easily accessible to all. That didn't happen, but we are already doing that. These alt-right Ye fans don't want to believe racism is real, unless being practiced by white jewish folk, but his whole point was the disparity between semites of color and those without (melanin). To support Kyrie Irving, to support Jay Electronica, to support Ye and Donda we will complete (Louis) Martin Luther (the) King's dream of equitable housing on the south and west sides of our city. And then all cities.

#CONNECT: While Ye has worn masks and mourned our people publicly, #cynical conservatives are creating chaos by spreading pandemic misinformation. Whether it's about the efficacy of masks, the risks of infection or vaccine lies- their rhetoric is out here getting people killed. We, unlike others, are united in ending the virus via scientific means. That means staying home. The same plan from day one, as variants and violence have spiraled out of control there has only been one solution.

Ye once said: "you should quit your job to this." As employers waffle between at-home work and banning masks, we support everyone from the disabled to those who perceive little to no danger.

When we stay home, we will protect the environment and ourselves. The world will never be the same because we'll achieve that utopian dream we all sensed when the world first "shut down." Everyone on whatever political side went on strikes, but never the one that mattered. The #COVIDstrike to #StayHome & end the pandemic.

#CELEBRATE: It's been extremely bizarre to watch Ye supporters tear down his creative support system for the last two decades for a couple of folks he just met. While KANYEFEST has done events highlighting and raising reparations with the work of artists like KiD Cudi, Jay-Z, Drake & Eminem the average Ye twitter stan will degrade them at a moment's notice. But if Ali or any Nick followers were to praise Hitler or some other nigh irredeemable figure of widespread murder, these folks would consider it harmful to give any pushback.

Poll after poll, Nick & Ali torched the most famous black entertainers in the world. Until this week, when G.O.O.D. Music finally triumphed over two political cult leaders who do no actual community service. We searched Chance The Rapper's activism work supporting black women (#HEAL), feeding the poor (#GROW) and organizing labor (#CONNECT) to save the world for everyone (#CELEBRATE). All of that you could see in his Black Star Line festival alone, but you can go back years and there is no such work from these neocons. These new conservatives who claim to be Based and really get humanity and universal love don't do any work for the community unless it's bailing a J6 terrorist out of jail. They don't do any work concerning consent and sexual health unless it's part of an overarching conspiracy aiming to take rights from the marginalized. They want to control women's bodies and deny genocide. They want to call it love.

This is a message: Love is not enough.

For the white male student crying that he is the most persecuted of them all because of his loving religion. Who describes his own work as a "campus grift." Who sets up debate tables to get proved wrong about race but has never done a food drive. To his enablers, advisors & graphic designers:

We tsk tsk our own timelines of misguided "leftists" but at the very least, the way they support direct action selflessly is completely unparalleled by the so-called right. Conservatives are extremely active but their timelines tell the tale of what they truly care about: reactionary confrontation. If you all care about children, fair labor, the truth and community... then from now on when we ask what Ye-inspired activists accomplished this week we don't want to see viral gotcha videos and fake merch. We want to see reimbursed survivors, open conversation in service of transformation, long-owed reparations, safe evacuations and black-led celebration. Anything else is hateration, no matter your cult's holleration.