#crying. we supports womens rights AND womens wrongs in this house

[futurefind]

🙌// for vik and sa....

send 🙌 to grab my muse by the throat // @entwinedreams

Time with Viktoriya is always a bit of a crapshoot, between her spontaneity (compared to Sasume herself) and their respective travels. This does, at least, ensure things are always interesting.

Maybe their friendship itself could— or should— be considered high risk given their clashing lines of work, but...

Familiarity is both a comfort and a rarity for her, so she'll take whatever she can get���

And then there's a manicured hand holding her throat in a vice grip, pushing her back against the brick of inn's exterior. Her blood roars from head to toe in reflex— even as she dares not grip Viktoriya's wrist with anything harder than a firm grip, avoiding causing harm.

She's dizzy with confusion, mind whirling— mind spinning further, still, as her vision starts to blur. Sasume swallows harder, but before she can apply her actual strength the hand's yanking away from her throat with apologies that slide in one ear and falls out the other.

"What?" she blurts out, baffled, flushes, own hand ghosting over where Vik's just was. "What."

The night air is refreshingly cold against her bare face, and with her blood properly flowing back into her head it lets her hear again, too— including the other woman (re)explaining something about being followed/'checked in' on and needing to reaffirm their antagonism.

Or something.

Fuck if she knows.

"Fucking hell, Viktoriya," she groans, dragging her hand down her face. "There are easier ways to pretend to threaten someone, you know. I was about to snap your wrist—"

[vettelsvee]

AFTERGLOW | Mick Schumacher

f1 masterlist | wattpad | ao3 | instagram

mick schumacher x vettel!reader

summary: mick's girlfriend knows that something's wrong with him. after talking to her dad and her stepmother, she decides to face her boyfriend.

word count: 2956

warnings: angst. bad language. mick being aggressive. use of y/n.

you can send your one shots requests here! feedback, as well as comments and reblogs, are truly appreciated!

If Sebastian's retirement announcement had hurt you, the way you boyfriend had been acting towards you, for no apparent reason, hurt even more. 

You were on you father's terrace, with your legs stretched out on a chair in front of you and the sun shining on your face as you watched the latest news about Taylor Swift. Beside you, Hanna was tending to her baby, who was in her arms playing with a small plush toy you bought her that surprisingly become her favorite. Sebastian appeared out of nowhere carrying a tray full of snacks and drinks, which he carefully placed on the table before immediately caressing the heads of the women in his life. The German sat beside his wife facing you, his eldest daughter.

As much as you enjoyed visiting your family for no reason, today's visit had a reason with a name and surname: Mick Schumacher. Since both of you had finally decided to start a romantic relationship, everything had been a bed of roses. However, the past few weeks have been hell. The boy's behavior towards you had changed radically. What used to be a daily routine filled with laughter, gratitude and support had turned into distance and avoidance, as if they you college students living together during the school year because they had no other choice.

Before starting to speak, you poured yourself some lemonade that Vettel had made hours earlier with her, and took a slight sip despite being really thirsty. You felt nervous as you began to initiate the conversation, but the warm looks you father and stepmother were giving you helped you relax.

"I need to share something with you," you began, "because if I don't tell someone, I feel like I'm going to end everything I've fought for all this time. Plus, I feel like you're the ones who can help me the most in this regard," you added.

The couple exchanged curious looks, not knowing what you were referring to. Any idea passed through Hanna's mind, while the Aston Martin driver could only think of the possibility that his little one might be pregnant. Hanna could see the panic in her husband's face; she simply placed her free hand on the German's thigh and gently caressed it, trying to calm him down. They shouldn't jump to conclusions too quickly, and that seemed to be what his wife was telling him as she gave Sebastian a glance.

"I've noticed that Mick has been behaving very strangely lately," you began to explain. "I don't know what's going on in his head, but we hardly talk, we don't usually go out of the house like we used to and... well, let's say we don't show as much affection to each other anymore," you said apologetically, trying not to get angry at the laughter your father was making. "I feel like the Mick I've known all this time has been just a mirage, and I don't know what to do about it."

Sebastian and Hanna exchanged knowing looks, and the woman let him speak first.

"Y/N, I understand what you mean, but you have to know the pressure Mick faces daily," the blonde explained lovingly. "Formula 1 is like that: it doesn't just drag you, but also those you love the most. Your boyfriend has many eyes on him, and as if that weren't enough, he bears the responsibility of carrying on his father's legacy."

The older blonde agreed with her husband. She passed the little one to Seb, got up quickly and sat next to you,now cry out of frustration, and started to caress your hair lovingly as a comfort.

"Your father is right, Y/N, and I have to agree with him because I've been with him for almost twenty years," Hanna commented. "Every person has a completely different way of dealing with stress. Sebastian used to yell at me every time he breathed, and look," she pointed at him, "here we are. Some people open up to anyone they meet, and others shut themselves off to avoid worrying those they love the most," she stated. "Just because Mick isn't like he was a few weeks ago doesn't mean his feelings towards you have changed. Sometimes, they just need space and a little time to silence the demons in their heads."

You nodded, taking a sip from the glass you held in your hands to calm your nerves. You let out a sigh you had been holding in for quite some time, worried about the possible reaction the two in front of you might have. They continued to talk about more trivial matters, and that conversation, although short, had been very meaningful, was set aside, although not for the girl, who continued to torture herself wondering what she could do to make Mick feel better while listening to talk about baby care and nurseries.

"Thank you, dad. Thank you, Hanna," you replied, getting up from your seat and looking at the adults. "I guess I needed the advice of someone who might have gone through the same thing as I am right now," you objected. "I promise I'll do my best not to despair anymore. I'll let you know when I know more."

The couple got up shortly after you, already heading towards the door, possibly to return to the apartment you shared with Schumacher. Sebastian, still holding the baby, opened the door, unable to say anything else. Hanna, on the other hand, smiled warmly at you and gave you a hug.

"Remember, we're here for you, sweetheart," your father's wife said kindly. "Communication is key in any relationship. If you see that Mick is still not ready to talk about it, give him space, but don't forget to remind him that you're there for whatever he needs."

You nodded and left the residence, leaving the driver and his wife somewhat worried about what could happen between you two.

You opened the door to your home with trembling hands, feeling a pressure in your chest from the concern about the scene your eyes would encounter as soon as you entered.

The first thing that greeted you was the sound of hooves scratching the parquet floor, which soon grew louder as Angie approached rapidly to welcome you home again. You bent down, leaving your belongings aside, and took some time to caress your furry friend, whom you had grown fond of since the moment her owner introduced her to you. While admiring the way the animal's tail moved, you began to hear the running water from the shower, a sign that Mick was home, as you had hoped.

Sitting on the couch and staring at the TV, whose screen was filled with deceptive advertisements for food and clothing, you heard a door open and steps that seemed to be approaching you. You took a deep breath and prepared yourself for what was about to come when you saw her boyfriend walk past you, wearing only a towel wrapped around his waist, drying his hair with another smaller towel.

You decided that things couldn't go on like this, so you approached the boy more angrily than you thought, who was preparing dinner, obviously, just for himself.

"Yes, love, I had a great time with Seb and Hanna. Thanks for asking how my day went!" you shouted sarcastically.

Schumacher turned around, leaving the wooden spoon on the bowl in which his salad was being prepared. Your face was fully red, and your aggressive demeanor reminded him of Sebastian's moments of fury at Red Bull. The German looked at you coldly, and you only felt his blue eyes radiating hatred, something you had never seen in the boy before.

If you weren't up for games that night, neither was Mick.

"I don't care how your day went," the blue-eyed one responded disdainfully, "but if you had such a great time with your perfect family, maybe you should consider moving in with them."

The driver’s statement hurt you more than if you had been stabbed in the stomach. You couldn't believe the words coming out of the mouth of the one you considered the love of your life. When you opened your mouth to reply and yell a thousand worse things at him, the words got stuck in your throat. Schumacher made a move to leave, but you reluctantly took his hand to keep talking to him. For you, things weren't going to stay like this. 

"After everything we've been through to get here, is this how you're paying me back?!" you exploded, releasing all the anger you had accumulated. "Is this the way you planned to treat me from the beginning?"

The driver turned to you, his jaw tense. His arms were crossed, and he was squeezing his clenched fists tighter and tighter.

"I don't know what you're talking about, blondie," he spat with disdain. "If you feel so bad, maybe you should reconsider what this relationship means to you."

You approached him with fury, and began to hit him in the chest with your hands. You were tired of, at any point in your life, the people she loved the most ending up hurting her.

"You have no idea what you mean to me!" you got closer and closer to Mick, who seemed to feel small compared to you. "You became my everything when I had nothing, but now you've become a stranger with whom it would seem ridiculous to say that I've shared traumas from my life that no one knows."

"You have no right to judge me, Y/N!" roared the boy with a voice filled with aggression. "You don't know what I have to face every day: criticism, expectations, my father, you, the team..." He raised his hands in the air as he spoke. "Do you think it's easy being in this messed up world?"

"It's not just about you, Mick!" you exclaimed, tears starting to blur your vision. "It's about us and everything we've been through together!"

Words continued to fly in the room, laden with pain and anger, exchanged between the couple as if in a tennis match. You had reached a point where the argument wasn't focused on trying to resolve whatever was happening between you, but on hurting each other with hurtful comments, fighting to see who could inflict more damage.

"This makes no sense, Y/N," Mick shouted in frustration. His gaze was filled with panic and accumulated anger. He felt it increasingly difficult, at that point in the argument, to contain his rage.

"Love, please, calm down," your voice trembled. "We're not getting anywhere, just giving the neighbors a free show that we'll regret later," you pleaded.

Schumacher didn't relent. He felt a wave of helplessness washing over his body. He reached out his muscular arm and grabbed the first object he could find, a frame with a picture of him with you and Angie on a day you spent in the mountains, and threw it against the wall mercilessly. The sound of impact and shattering glass echoed throughout the room, accompanied by the sobs and gasps of air from the young woman.

You couldn't help but step back, feeling increasing pressure in your chest and filled with fear. You knew the boy was losing control of the situation, and you were afraid it would escalate to physical violence against you. You had experienced that kind of abuse with your mother, and you didn't want to relive it with the same person who once told you that love didn't hurt.

"Mick, stop, this isn't you!" you cried out in anguish. "What's wrong with you?"

The German clenched his fists tighter.

"I've already told you, Y/N: you don't understand! You can't possibly understand. The pressure, the expectations... it's all overwhelming," he sighed anxiously, "and I feel like it's going to break me at any moment."

You approached him slowly, but at a safe distance, in an attempt to calm him down that you hoped wouldn't be in vain.

"We're in this together, sweetheart. Why don't you confide in me instead of shouting at me like a madman in an asylum?"

"Because I don't want you involved in this," Mick looked at you with a mix of anger and pain. "You've had enough worries in your life already."

You went cold, speechless in response. The blonde seemed to have calmed down. Now, his gaze begged you to keep speaking because, if not, he would go crazy at any moment.

"Mick, I love you," you continued as best you could, "and that means I want to be there for you, even in the toughest moments. You can't expect me to walk away when you need me the most."

"It's not that simple, Y/N," the driver paced back and forth, seeking a way to remedy everything he had caused during those weeks of tormenting Gunther. "The pressure is overwhelming, and the comparisons with my father are becoming less bearable," he confessed. "People don't care how hard I try. They always end up making me feel like I’m not good enough."

The blonde took a deep breath, struggling to keep calm while seeing that the root of the problem was surfacing:

"And how do you expect our relationship to work if you shut yourself off? I can't guess what's going on in your head if you don't tell me," you said in a barely audible whisper.

"Because I don't want to be a burden to you!" he retorted. "I don't want you to see me as a failure."

Determined to end all the fuss, you took a step forward and, despite the boy's protests, ended up taking his hands and directing his gaze to yours.

"Mick, you're not a failure: you're human," you said. "Making more or fewer mistakes is completely normal, and I'm here to support you and make you see that," you expressed sincerely. "I don't care what people think or say about you. To me, you'll always be the best at what you do, and there won't be a comment that will change my mind."

He looked at you. Angie had clumsily approached the boy's leg, stroking him and causing him some tickles with her fur, something that made you laugh in that moment of tension.

"What do you want me to do, Y/N? How can I move forward with all this?",

Feeling her resistance beginning to dissipate, you rushed to give him a hug, something the boy didn't reject. You both had missed each other, and the gentle caresses you shared in that brief moment were proof of that.

"Start by trusting me. Share what worries you and what you're afraid of. You don't have to fight alone: you know I'm here for whatever you need."

Mick, with his eyes full of tears threatening to fall, held you tightly to his chest, trying not to hurt you.

"I'm sorry, Y/N," he whispered with a trembling voice, "for everything. My contract with Haas... it's over. Gunther doesn't trust me for next year."

You quickly pulled away from Mick. You had been left in suspense, and your boyfriend's pale face had already given you many clues, such as why he had told you before the cooling of your relationship that he didn't want to continue racing, or how Seb's retirement didn't affect him as much as you had thought it would.

Mick had faced very painful and traumatic experiences, such as his father's accident. However, although his dismissal might seem less significant than the former, for his girlfriend, it was more serious because there was nothing worse than someone compromising your mental health, and that was exactly what Gunther Steiner had been doing to her guy.

You approached him with slow steps and hugged him once again.

"Darling..." you whispered, trying to sound as understanding as possible. "It's okay, alright? Gunther doesn't deserve you. Besides, I'm sure that when something bad ends, something better begins."

Schumacher collapsed into your arms, tears finally escaping from his eyes. The mask he had been wearing for all the previous weeks had finally shattered, revealing a vulnerable version of himself that he didn't want you to discover.

"I feel like a failure," the blonde sobbed with a choked tone due to the tears. "I've fought so hard, I've given everything I have even when I couldn't anymore... and it seems like it's never enough."

You hugged him tighter, tenderly, hearing the boy's quick heartbeats loud and clear.

"You're not a failure, Mick," you revealed to him. "You have so much talent and you can do great things, it's just that you started your career in a crappy team with even crappier treatment," the boy laughed, music to your ears. "This is just a bump in the road, and you and I are going to get through it together."

"I don't know what I'd do without you, love," Mick looked at you tenderly, mentally regretting his behavior over the past few weeks.

"I'll always be here for you, truly," you continued, gently stroking his cheek. "You're so much more than race results, and I won't stop telling you until you believe it, even when you get tired of hearing me say it so much!"

You ended up laughing heartily, initiated by Mick. Maybe you weren't the perfect duo in the eyes of others, but you were for yourselves and those who knew you best.

If the invisible string theory was real, you and Mick were proof of it. You could even say the same about the multiverse hypothesis: in this one, and in millions more, a stubborn blonde couple, no matter the problems you had to face, would end up together, whatever it took.

[venusloverblue]

Sky blue eyes

Billy Hargrove x Harrington!reader

words count: + 4k

summary: You become friends with Max, this means that you get to know Billy better

warnings: Steve Harrington!mean, little angst, fluff, mild sexual mentions, I think that's it all, tell me if I'm missing anything else

a/n: Hi!! I hope you are well, this is my first fanfic in my life. I hope you like it and if you have any criticism, let it be constructive. English is not a first language so if there are any mistakes, I'm sorry!!!

For a long time you thought that love was not going to be present in your teenage life, you thought that the romance in the movies was exclusively for the movies and that it did not extend to the real world. Plus you took it for granted that you were never going to fall in love and that no one was going to fall in love with you.

Everyone knew who your brother was, when they talked about you they referred to you as Harrington's little sister and not your first name. It was difficult at first for you to live in the shadow of your older brother, but over the years your skin had turned iron and those comments no longer affect you like before.

It is because of all this that your life had become very simple and boring, you did not have as many friends as you wanted, but at least you had people to take refuge with when you needed it, among them were Nancy and Jonathan, although their love for each other made you feel a little alone, they were always there to give you their unconditional support and their shoulders to cry on.

It was quite common for you to be crying in the bathrooms along with Nancy, this case was because some of the more popular kids had played a prank on you at lunch. They thought that bathing you with their drinks was something that everyone would find very funny and they were not wrong because a large part of the dining room began to laugh as if they had just told the best joke of their lives. That's why you came out with your head held high and when nothing saw you, you started running towards the women's bathrooms.

While you were crying and washing your face you didn't realize that Nancy had rushed in to comfort and help you. A few minutes after helping you and calming you down, you break the silence that had existed since she found you in the bathrooms.

"I don't understand what's wrong with them, I've never done anything to them and they always try to humiliate me in front of everyone" you say while looking at Nancy searching for an answer that could help you cope with the situation.

She sighs, searching for the right words, finally finding them. "I would love to know why they do this to you, I would also like to know why your brother doesn't do anything about it" She says with a tone of hatred towards my brother.

"You know how he is, he would never fight for me with his friends, that's why they do this to me"

"It doesn't mean that you can't get angry with him, you should say something to him when you're home." Before you can answer, someone knocks on the bathroom door.

"Girls, are you okay?" Jonathan's unmistakable voice is heard, he must have come as quickly as he can after finding out what happened in the dining room.

Nancy tells him that we are fine and that we will see him after school, which ends the conversation that the two of you were having before he interrupted you.

★

When the exit bell rings, everyone quickly leaves their classrooms to get home as soon as possible and to rest properly, since it is Friday, many must be in a hurry to prepare for a party at the house of some of the popular ones, luckily this weekend is not yours.

You are one of the last to leave, that is why your friends are waiting for you to say goodbye or make some plans in the next few days, as you get closer you hear how some of the popular ones point at you and laugh at you, because your clothes were stained by the drinks some of them threw, you decide to ignore them and continue walking to reach Nancy and Jonathan.

After having talked for a few minutes we decide that we will call each other to see if we can arrange an outing, with that they say goodbye and you walk home, since obviously Steve was not going to risk his reputation by taking you in his car.

After walking for a while you come across a girl of about 13 years old riding her skateboard, her reddish hair being blown back by the air that hits her face while she is moving. It seems strange to you that she is alone so you decide to run as close as possible.

"Hey girl, are you alone?" When you ask her the question, the girl stops suddenly, when she turns to look at you, her features relax and that's when she starts talking.

"Yes, my brother sent me home on the skateboard because I left him waiting after school" She says as if it were something unimportant.

When you hear that I can't believe it, how is it possible that her brother is so cold? That's when you remember that your brother is the same as you and you feel more sorry for the girl.

"Well, you weren't the only one, my brother never took me in his car since it was given to him" You tell the girl that so she doesn't feel so alone because of her brother.

Her face wrinkles in disgust and then changes to a grimace of annoyance. "I don't understand why older brothers are always so stupid." That's when she decides to roll his eyes.

"Yes, they are stupid"

★

After that unexpected meeting, you and Max become kind of friends, causing you to accompany her to her house every day and then go to yours. It was really very fun to spend time with her, she was a very sweet girl who preferred to cover that sweetness with rudeness although she didn't completely succeed.

For several weeks it becomes part of your routine until one day it ends.

While you were waiting for Max outside school, you found out from one of her classmates that she was sick and that they needed someone to deliver her homework. That's why you volunteered since the route to your house would take you to passed by Max's house. With that the children thank you and say goodbye to go, get their bikes and leave.

When you're walking to Max's house you hope you don't run into his brother, Billy Hargrove. In the weeks that you became friends with Max you found out who his brother was, you would never have guessed since they didn't look alike at all, then you found out that they are actually not brothers but stepbrothers. But in the same way your nerves did not dissipate, Billy was known for having a rather strong temper and also for having little patience, you did not like the combination at all. You didn't want him to get mad at you for being at his house and then decide to get revenge for it at school, just thinking about it gives you chills.

But still that didn't stop you from going to Max's house, she was your friend and she needed to keep up with school regardless of whether she liked her brother or not.

When you got home the nerves were present again and you didn't really know what to do, and seeing the Camaro on the driveway from the garage sends a chill down your spine. You decided to shake yourself to erase any drop of fear regarding Billy, he was not a monster, he was a boy the same age as your brother, with that you relaxed a little, giving yourself the courage to go knock on the door.

You waited a few seconds before someone answered, when the door opened you were greeted by a completely sweaty Billy with a muscular shirt that revealed his physique. You may have liked Billy, but you couldn't deny the attractiveness he possessed and why all the girls were crazy about him.

"Who are you and what are you doing at my door?" The question snaps you out of your thoughts and brings you back to real life with Billy scowling at your presence.

"Hello, I'm Max's friend, I came to bring her her homework because she is sick" You stay silent for a few seconds and then add. "Hers classmates asked me to give it to her."

Before Billy answered, a slightly hoarse voice was heard behind him. "Hello, sorry I went to school today, mom made me stay in bed" Max says while pushing hers brother a little so he can see me.

"Hello Max, don't worry, it's best that you recover as soon as possible. I have your homework here, I can bring it again tomorrow if you need it."

"I appreciate it, I won't be able to go for a few days" She says with a little sadness.

“Don't be sad, the most important thing now is that you recover as soon as possible. Plus I need my travel companion to be very healthy to come home on time every day, right?” With that the girl nods quickly with a big smile, agreeing with you. “Okay, I'm going home now, I'll bring your homework at the same time tomorrow.” When you say that, you turn around and walk through the Hargroves' front yard while waving goodbye to Max.

★

The next three days you continue going to Max's house to leave hers homework and the one who opens the door is always Billy with his frown, you don't pay much interest to the subject since it's probably not something personal but he is like that with everyone and not only with you. But that doesn't mean that that attitude doesn't bother you.

It's already the fifth day that Max is sick, so you repeat the same process already done the previous four days, but this time you have an obstacle to overcome and that is Billy Hargrove. When you were about to cross the street, a blue Camaro with the windows down stopped in front of you and inside was the boy with sky blue eyes.

“Are you going to my house?” He asks with a tired tone.

“Yes, going to leave Max's homework.” You are surprised that the new and now popular boy is talking to you. You thought you were a nuisance to him, not a person he wanted to talk to.

“Get in and I'll take you, I don't want you to interrupt me again like you did all week.”

You hesitate at first, you don't think it's appropriate to get on since you completely like him, you also know that someone will see you and rumors are generated regarding our relationship, which is completely non-existent. A few seconds pass before you end up accepting, it's not like they saw you having any approach that would imply that you were dating or something like that.

You get into the camaro and shortly after you have closed the door the vehicle takes off at great speed. You get scared at first, but you end up getting used to the speed.

“So you're the one who accompanies my sister home, at first I thought it was a miracle to return alone, but then I began to suspect” He looks at you for a few seconds and then looks back at the road.

“Yes, I saw her for the first time when she was returning on her skateboard and I thought it was better that I accompany her to make sure nothing happens to her.” You say that with the intention of making her realize what an idiot he is for letting her leave on her own, but it seems that he does not give it importance or does not realize it.

“Well, thanks for that” He says that and then adds. “I wouldn't like to imagine what I would do if something happened to Max.”

“I understand, but you could also wait a little longer when you leave school. I know you don't like to wait, but she is a girl and she shouldn't come back alone on her skateboard” You say and then add. “You never know what can happen out there.”

Without realizing it, you are already at the door of his house. When he finishes parking, he turns to you and with a face that shows much more than you thought you would ever see from Billy in your life, he decides to tell you. “Believe me, I know.”

★

It's been weeks since the last time Billy took you to his house so you could hand in hers homework to Max and although you don't like to admit it, you still think about the short conversation you had in his cabin. You saw some guilt in him along with remorse for not being able to do something. At some moments you think that you imagined it, but you know that it is a way of lying to yourself, he in some sense is honest with you.

Your thoughts about Billy are interrupted by the bell that announces the end of classes, you quickly leave with your classmates. When you are already at the main exit of the high school, you see some of the popular kids laughing in a way that makes you understand that they are planning something that you would not like to know about.

It is when you are passing a few meters near them that you feel how they are getting you wet, by the time you realize you are soaked from head to toe, you don't know where to go so they stop laughing and meanwhile you curse yourself for having chosen a white shirt that shows through your bra

Everyone around you laughs, you even see Steve being one of those who finds the joke very funny. Everything is laughter until you hear how someone is hit, causing the laughter to turn into screams of horror on the part of the girls and hatred on the part of the boys. You turn around to see where all the commotion is coming from and find Billy straddling one of the boys who decided to get all wet.

You try to get closer, but a hand grabs your arm and you see it's Max. “It's better that you don't come closer, let's go to the car and wait for him to finish all this.”

You hesitate for a moment, but end up agreeing with her. So you go with the girl to the car, but for a moment you turn around to see how Billy is doing and just at that moment your eyes meet so that in a second they are lost again.

★

It takes a little over 30 minutes for Billy to return and get into the car. You are in the passenger seat and that allows you to observe in detail that he did not come out of that fight completely unscathed. His lower lip is split, his cheeks have some scratches and his clothes are a little dirty from rolling on the floor.

Before you can break the silence, Max comes out from the back to poke hers head between the front seats. “Did you give those idiots the beating they deserved?”

“Max!” You say quickly after the girl's comment. “Don't say those kinds of words.”

The girl ignores you and the older brother does the same. “Yes, I gave them shit to eat, don't worry” He says while looking in the rearview mirror, then he turns a little towards you. "Are you okay?"

When you listen to him he sounds like he is really concerned and will care about your well-being. “Yes, it was just a little water, I'm fine” You say a little embarrassed by so much interest on his part.

“Okay, then I'll take you home” And with that he tears off his blue Camaro just like his eyes.

★

Obviously, you end up getting sick since the idiots got you wet in November. That caused you to now be in bed for a whole week. Luckily you had Nancy, who came to visit you whenever she could after school and told you all the new things. That was your favorite source of entertainment, then you had to watch movies or read a book, it was clear that doing homework was not on the list of entertainment but torture.

But besides that, you also took the time to think about what Billy did for you. You never thought anyone would do that for you in your life, least of all the great Billy Hargrove. Thinking about how he looked in his cabin after the fight caused your cheeks to turn pink and your body temperature to rise. From the beginning you blamed the cold, but you knew very well that that was a lie and a pretty big one.

You continued with your sick routine until Wednesday, the day your brother walked through your bedroom door looking to talk. You thought he was going to talk about how Billy defended you and then drove you home in his truck, but he actually surprised you with an apology.

“I come to apologize to you for everything that happened.” Look at a fixed point on the ground. “I know that I am not the best brother of all and that what I did to you does not deserve any kind of forgiveness, but believe me, I am very sorry. The jokes, the contempt, the ignoring you are things you don't deserve, you are a great sister to me and I return all that to you with pure shit."

You don't know what to say so he took advantage of it to continue. “I understand if you don't want my forgiveness, but I think I need you to know that I don't want anything bad to happen to you. The last joke was my breaking point."

“But you laughed Steve, I saw how you laughed” You say with a voice that was about to break.

“I know, you don't know how rubbish and shit I feel” After a few seconds he looks up at you. “I swear I want to go back in time and change the things I did to you.”

“I understand, but you have to know that it will take a lot to forgive you.” You say, determined that you will not let him have the easy way.

With that he gets up and leaves your room in silent.

★

Two days after the episode you had with Steve, while you are watching a movie that is being played on code, your mother enters in your room and tells you that a classmate of yours came to bring your homework. At first it seemed strange to you since Nancy was the one who always brought your homework, that generated great curiosity in you and you told your mother to let it go.

That's when you see Billy enter your room in his jeans and jean jacket. For a moment you thought it was all a dream and that you were about to wake up shortly, but fortunately none of that was an invention of your brain and subconscious. Luckily you woke up from that daydream before he thought you were a complete weirdo.

“Billy, what a surprise, I didn't expect you to come to my house.”

“Yes, well, Nancy please me to bring since she wasn't going to be able to come today” He says while handing you the papers where the homework was.

“I'm sick, but I'm not stupid, for nothing in this world would Nancy ask you a favor” With that you make Billy smile and you don't know why, but your stomach begins to secrete butterflies that leave you totally confused.

“You caught me, I asked her if I could bring your homework. At first she refused, but after I told her why I wanted to bring it, she gave it to me.”

“And it may be curious, but why did you want to bring me my homework?” You expected any answer except the one he actually gave you.

“Because I wanted to come see you and this was the best excuse I could find” With that his eyes meet yours and your cheeks instantly turn reddish.

★

After that your friendship with the Hargrove brothers strengthened, now every day after school you went to Billy's blue camaro so that he would then stop at his house to drop Max off and then go to your house to drop you off. It really was a dynamic that you liked, but that didn't just stop there, every time you passed Billy in the hallways he would greet you with his smile and blue eyes, the first few times it threw you off, but it was a matter of time before you customs

The weeks continued to pass and your relationship with Billy was taking shape, it is true that at the beginning you were connected by Max, but some days the red-haired girl went to her friends' house to do projects causing you to have to return together in the car. he. One of those days you saw that Billy was feeling a little strange, you thought a lot about asking him what was wrong, but then you thought about it and you preferred to leave it because you felt that your friendship was not at the level of telling each other how the other felt.

We entered the cabin and after a few minutes the boy decided to break the silence. “Hey, can I tell you something?”

“Of course, is something bad happening?”

For a moment he hesitates, but it lasts a second before he begins to speak. “The truth is that I don't have the best relationship with my father, he is someone I don't like dealing with at all” Take a moment and continue. “He hits me, every time I do something wrong he hits me, especially when something happens with Max, he takes it out on me. That's why sometimes I act like a jerk around her and believe me I don't want to. But the anger that being hit by him generates in me I have to take out on someone else and it's always on some guy at a party or on Max.”

You have no idea what to say, that's why Billy decides to continue. “I know that none of this justifies my behavior, I know that. But I needed to tell someone, I couldn't live with this in me, you know?”

You didn't say anything, you didn't expect this kind of confession from Billy at all, you always found him to be a tough boy who didn't let anything or anyone get in his way, but it seems that appearances can be very deceiving. “I'm so sorry Billy, you don't deserve this to happen to you, I can't imagine how difficult this situation must be for you.”

You stay silent for a second, searching for the right words. “I'm glad I'm your trusted person to tell me this.”

“Believe it or not, you are one of the few people I can trust” That ends the conversation.

★

Saturday night, you are alone at home since your parents are traveling and your brother is out partying, that leaves you as the owner of the house and that means that you will use that power to watch romantic movies in the living room.

You are currently watching Sixteen Candles, one of your favorites. You don't know how many times you've seen it, but you're sure it's more than ten. When you are halfway through the movie you hear someone knocking on the back door, the moment you look there you almost lose the soul of your body. It was Billy and all his clothes were bloody. You moved as fast as you could in your state of shock. When the door opened Billy walked into your kitchen as if nothing was wrong.

“Billy, what the fuck happened to you?!” You can hear the desperation and worry in your voice.

“Don't worry, baby, I feel totally fine” When you can see how he slurs his words a little, that's when you get closer and feel the smell of alcohol that comes off.

“Billy, you reek of alcohol, how the hell did you get here? I hope you don't tell me by car."

He remains silent answering your question.

Already irritated with the situation, you send Billy to sit on the couch and wait for you to bring him some ice along with the first aid kit. You didn't understand why he had decided to come to your house in that state, but it seems like he reads minds as he answers your question.

“I came here because I had nowhere else to go. Besides, I like you."

With that confession you go blank, obviously you liked him too. The relationship he had formed as a friend had become something more meaningful to you without him knowing. You thought it was all due to alcohol, it was impossible for someone like him to like you, it was pure logic.

That's why you decided to ignore him and preferred to focus on healing his wounds. You could see that he had gotten into a pretty nasty fight, but luckily it was all superficial and nothing very serious.

“I love that you are so close to me, I would love to kiss you right now, lots and lots of kisses” You couldn't deny that it gave you a little tenderness, seeing a boy as tough as Billy talking like that made your butterflies wake up.

“You're very drunk now, it's best that you go to my room to sleep so my brother doesn't see you when you come back.” As you say it, you stop to start picking up the big man with sea eyes.

“You want us to go to your room so I can do everything to you that I've been thinking about since we met, then I'm the pervert.”

You laugh a little, but you know very well that it is to hide what you really feel and it is an infernal heat between your legs. You don't understand how someone can make a room turn into a giant-sized oven.

After leaving Billy in your bed, you prepare a mattress on the floor so you can sleep next to him in case he wakes up not knowing where he is. You lock your room in case your brother decides to check on you even though you thought it unlikely. The moment your head hits the pillow you are already in dreamland dreaming about Billy Hargrove kissing you.

★

The light coming through the window wakes you up, you don't really know what time it is, but you assume it's very early on a Sunday. When your eyes are fully open, a hoarse voice surprises you.

“Good morning baby, did you sleep well?” With that, a rather misaligned Billy greets you, but that smile makes you fall in love in a thousand ways. “Thank you for yesterday, you could have kicked me out, but you decided to help me.”

“It's nothing, I couldn't just leave you like this.”

There was silence before Billy decided to drop his bomb. “I know yesterday I said I liked you” You were expecting it to be worded like any other. “And I wasn't lying, I really like you.”

With that, sleep completely disappears from your body, causing you to sit in bed quickly. “If you are saying this because I help you, you should know that I don't need it, I don't need your pity.”

“Baby, I am many things, but a liar is not one of them. I really like you and I must admit, I know it may seem false, but it's the truth. After sharing all those moments my feelings towards you became deeper” A second later he adds. “Plus I love how your butt fits perfectly in each pair of jeans.”

With that you approach Billy to plant a kiss that seeks to encompass everything about him, he follows you in search of the same. At that moment your feelings are expressed through that passionate kiss. No words are needed for your love, just this type of connection is enough. Something that makes us feel special, unique and different from the rest.

When you separate you dive into the eyes of your lover, sky blue eyes.

[mama-qwerty]

Okay, I'm gonna get political here.

I've been seeing some alarming posts going around, in which people seem to think that Biden is somehow as bad as, or worse than, Trump. And a lot of the reasoning seems to come down to how he's dealing with Israel. He's not doing enough to stop Israel and is actively supporting them. Which, he has to, because the US is Israel's ally.

Is it ideal? Is it great? NO. It absolutely sucks, and we really should not be involved, and be doing more to stop them.

But that seems to be the single issue most people mention when talking about not voting for him. And my question to them is, do you seriously think Trump will handle it any better??

And let's put Palestine aside right now. I know it's terrible, I know it's my privilege to look away for a moment, but I implore you, I fucking BEG you to remember that the US president affects laws and policies here, which affects each and every American who lives here.

This post lists, in a convenient little checkbox format, what each candidate is for and against. As you can see, Trump will support Israel, too. Moreso than Biden. But he will also remove rights and destroy protections for countless other groups.

Both candidates are absolutely NOT THE SAME. Biden, while not perfect, has done a lot of good for the country, it's just not reported because negative things get more views than positive. He had A LOT of cleanup to do after Trump finally dragged his ass out of the White House. And he's done what he could.

I get that Biden isn't ideal. He's not who I would want, either. But he's the Democratic candidate, and we absolutely cannot afford to "send Washington a lesson" by abstaining or voting third party. We are a two party system, and with Trump on the ballot, we cannot, CAN FUCKING NOT afford to split our forces.

Every Republican will be out in droves, casting their vote for Trump. One vote for a third party candidate, is a vote for Trump. If you do not vote for Biden, you are essentially handing Trump the victory.

This country will not survive another Trump presidency.

I sincerely believe that. The damage he did the first time around was bad enough, when he didn't know what he was doing. But now? Now he's had 4 years to scheme and plot and work behind the scenes with his cronies so that when/if he gets back into office, he can go all in on gutting the government, stacking the Supreme Court, enacting whatever laws he likes, and simply declaring himself dictator and never leaving office again.

And the Republicans will help him.

Every one of those spineless bootlickers will be trailing behind him, nodding like a fucking bobblehead, agreeing with whatever asinine idea tumbles out of his third grade brain.

"For the good of the country," they'll cry, as they gut support for the poor.

"For the helpless little babies," they'll weep, eliminating health care services for women and removing any help for families.

"Make America Great Again," they'll chant as they send the military to drag children away from parents and lock them in cages because they dared come to the US--a country that was founded on the backs of immigrants--for a better life.

Republicans only care about keeping themselves rich and in power. They don't care about the poor. They don't care about women or minorities or LGBTQ+ rights. They don't care about YOU. They only care about themselves. They've proven it time and time again, yet they always try to convince their base that it's really the Democrats and radical Left who are the bad guys. Because they constantly want to *checks notes* make sure people are safe, healthy, and cared for.

And that's not the America the Republicans want.

I am begging all US voters to look past Palestine, for just a moment, and realize that choosing the wrong man in November will have very, very, VERY long lasting repercussions for this country. We can't afford to "send a message". We can't afford to simply not vote. We can't afford to throw out the old "they're all the same" line.

THEY'RE NOT.

Please, please, please. Think about the people who will be hurt under another Trump administration. Think of those who will lose their support, lose their aid, lose their protections. Think of those who can't protect themselves.

The only message we need to send to Washington this November is NOT TRUMP. NEVER TRUMP.

[pub-lius]

What do u think about jefferson and Madison relationship?? What were they, and how did the relationship influence both of them?

IM GETTING SO MANY JEFFERSON QUESTIONS KEEP EM COMING i think about him so often, i want to body slam him into a glass window of a 20 story building and watch him fall

I love that you said "what were they" im crying okay anyway

Jefferson and Madison first met when Madison served on the governor's council and Jefferson was. the governor. Madison was facing some political setbacks, so a position on the council was a really good opportunity. Their relationship would remain largely professional for a long period of time.

Jefferson was basically Madison's opposite, physically and personality-wise. Jefferson was always more impulsive and passionate, and he tended to be very informal when he shouldn't have been. Madison, however was more cautious and deliberate. Even in their dress, you could see the difference, as Madison was usually seen wearing simple, professional clothes that were finely tailored and very appropriate for the situation, and Jefferson answered the door in slippers (he's so quirky).

"Jefferson inspired Madison, and Madison moderated Jefferson. Eventually, the two complemented each other's strengths and compensated for each other's limitations." -Noah Feldman in The Three Lives of James Madison

Over time, mostly over the course of their correspondence while Jefferson was in France, they got a lot closer, and confided in each other about mostly everything. The first time I can think of that they discussed personal matters was when Madison was rejected by Kitty Floyd, who he attempted to court, and she moved states to get away from him. Jefferson had encouraged him to court her, but Jefferson was a lot more successful with women than Madison, and it ended horribly. Madison sent him a dejected letter and Jefferson responded being like "...there. there. so sad. poor baby. very sad. okay."

After that, sharing personal things became easier than. whatever the fuck that was Jefferson, oh my god, learn how to have empathy, that's embarrassing. As they got closer, you can see the immersion of one another's ideas into the other person's beliefs. Ron Chernow would tell you that Madison's betrayal of Hamilton wasn't influenced by Jefferson because he wasn't in the country but it ONE HUNDRED PERCENT FUCKING WAS. They were talking when Jefferson was out of the country??? So he didn't need to be in the country to tell Madison that Hamilton's system was corrupt???? and he cites the fact that Hamilton hosted Jefferson at his house when he first arrived, but we KNOW that Jefferson was a fake ass bitch, so that doesn't make sense either.

Anyway, my point is, that Madison went from a leading Federalist to a radical Democratic-Republican as he talked to Jefferson more, and the final break between Madison and Hamilton occurred after Jefferson had been Secretary of State for a few months, so shut the fuck up Ron, you're wrong. Jefferson was an ardent supporter of states' rights, and during the Constitutional Convention, James Madison attempted to smash every effort to prioritize states' rights in the new government. Ofc he wasn't always successful, which is why we have the Senate, but thats neither here nor there. Its clear over the course of their correspondence that their political perspectives merged, and by the time Jefferson was president, they were functioning with one mind. It was during Madison's presidency that you see him start to diverge from Jefferson's influence.

Okay, to address my favorite question, "what were they". To answer simply, they were best friends and colleagues, and worked together to fight their political enemies and to elevate each other to prominence. This wasn't exactly the healthiest relationship, as Madison was often more frustrated with Jefferson, and Jefferson definitely wanted to be around Madison more than Madison wanted to be around Jefferson, but they cared about each other. They were definitely closer than Jefferson and Adams were, as they never had any opposition to one another.

I've seen a few people speculating if they were gay. They weren't. Jefferson had a very distinctive and very direct way of approaching someone he saw as a romantic prospect (usually through sexual harassment) and we see none of this in their correspondence. During their lifetimes, the ongoing rumor was that Jefferson cucked Madison and shared a wife (Dolley) with him. This also wasn't true, the three of them were just close friends, but this is more likely than Jefferson and Madison being gay for each other.

Overall, their relationship really drove American politics at this time, specifically when it came to them teaming up against Hamilton in the early 1790s. Jefferson 100% took advantage of Madison in several cases, and crossed a lot of boundaries. Off the top of my head, I think about how Jefferson basically forced Madison to publish pamphlets refuting Hamilton's, and how he was constantly asking Madison to move in with him when this clearly made him uncomfortable. However, Madison did stand up for himself when he needed to, and he did keep Jefferson at a distance when he pushed his boundaries too much, and I think it was because of this that their relationship lasted so long.

Thank you so much for the ask, this was fun. Hope this helps!!

[eggtrolls]

The Downton blogging (circa S3E5) will continue until morale improves

Ice in the veins, Kobe of the social scene — Mary Crawley would not, could physically not miss a chance to be ruthless to Edith. She sees Edith from 100 feet away and it’s On Sight. Edith standing in the churchyard about to be married and Mary is like listen we WILL NOT like each other a jot more in the future but good luck I guess. Sybil is lying DEAD on a bed in front of them and Edith is like 🥺 oh Mary 🥺 do you think we might get along a little better in the future? 🥺😭 and Mary just says “I doubt it”. She is a supervillain and I support women’s wrongs.

My favourite half-drowned bear cub of a man, Robert is like ‘no I can’t kick out my tenants who can’t farm and haven’t paid rent since the Norman invasion because they’re OLD wtf do you think I’m MEAN or something????’ and then he turns around and is like ‘but fuck Catholics for real tho lmao am I right or am I right, archbishop of banterbury’

The scene right after Edith gets left at the altar and Robert and Matthew go outside to talk about Reggie Swire’s fortune and the shot is them as tiny ants in the shadow of Downton’s walls…….that’s the shit I like

Cora saying goodbye to Sybil’s corpse with an insanely placid smile and her right (my left) eye twitching the entire time. Again the reminders of Iphigenia vis-a-vis a young woman dying in the house as a sacrifice, thus casting Cora being Clytemnestra which is just deeeeeeeelicious

The only part of Sybil’s death/mourning that actually made me feel some kind of way was Maggie Smith struggling alone with her cane in the hall……how many women has she seen die in childbirth over the last 70 years. Is it even surprising anymore? Does it hurt more or less?

Tom is still busy being fucking useless because he has no real purpose other than being a vague socialist life-size cardboard cut out to eventually be whittled down as a foil to Matthew who is himself being whittled down as a foil to Robert.

Also re: Tom and the Drumgoole house burning, WHY was he surprised by this being upsetting LET ALONE that it happened? He’s like omg I can’t believe I was upset by seeing rich people crying when their house burnt down, but the same fucking guy years ago canonically said nothing bad would happen to the Tsar and his family? Bro? Tf? Did you even do the readings of this shit you’re actively living through, while as a journalist to boot?????

Also also tremendously weak ass shit for him to answer Sybil’s “you didn’t tell me you’d gone to those meetings” with “I didn’t say I hadn’t”. “You didn’t tell me you were part of the Oklahoma City bombings”/“well I didn’t say I wasn’t” ass logic. unsurprising Tom L

Anna’s character is wearing so thin. She really has fuckall personality besides being pert, blonde, and vaguely saintlike while saying mihstehhhh Beyyyyyyyhtś every five minutes like a cuckoo clock

O’Brien playing the long game of slowly nudging Thomas and Jimmy towards each other, knowing it will get Thomas fired if not jailed, is a master class in scheming. Spy novels where the payoff is averting nuclear war are written with less attention to detail than this.

I need Thomas to get a mean lesbian best friend as a counterpoint to season 1 Miss O’Brien but since female sexuality wasn’t discovered in England until the 1970s it’s unlikely to happen :(

Mr Molesley as the permanent straight man of the show is maybe a little stale but it does crack me up every time. Sorry bro

The conversation around Downton as sentient being who kills those who don’t belong (Lavinia, and ultimately, Matthew) or who stray from the fold (Sybil) or those who endangered the Family (Kemal Pamuk) is still super interesting as the later seasons really let Edith hit her stride. It’s pretty clear that the flow of the Downton True Heir is set up as Violet to Robert to Mary but what if not. Mary is the bloodline (via Matthew) and has the money (also via Matthew) and the beauty* but Edith is the care and the maintenance that is completely ESSENTIAL to maintaining a house like Downton: in the little things of arranging seatings for dinners to keep the peace, to bigger things like helping with the Drake’s farm because the estate does boost the house, to her entire arc during S2 with the war. Mary as the roof and Edith as the walls…..let me cook

Lastly:

Okay hear me out but Vera Bates……..….would

*Edith isn’t even actually UNattactive, she just has the combo curse of Too Much Nose and Teeth. Mary’s features are roughly as pretty individually but much better proportioned for her face.

[istarveforplatonicptnstuff]

Adela as your hairdresser ✂💇‍♀️

So, idk how you end up getting a hair cut, but you're getting one for today 🥰🥰🥰 FOR FREE?!?!?! 🤯 Sis appeared out of nowhere, and you stumbled 🎢 upon a cute vintage barber shop, that convinced you 💯💯💯percent to get a haircut 🤭 You didn't know about the 🌁🌁🌁 alley incident because frankly, you DIDN'T care 😎 It was just an urban legend... Right? 😈 So anyways! You know when a hairdresser is about to SERVE 💃 When she has a BOB 👷‍♀️ on, has FACE 🥰, and looks like she came out of a Vivienne Westwood fashion show like GIRL why is the hairdresser so FINE??? 🤨🤨🤨

She greets you as soon as you enter her shop, warm smiles, the smell of flowers is what the first thing that hits your nose... 😤🌷The first thing you ask her how she gets rid of the smell of hairspray, she answers she uses the trick of using flowers which explains why you smelled flowers as soon as you went inside... By the way, SIS had you giggling 🤭 the entire interaction because of how... Gorgas (I'm sorry I don't know how to spell it 😇) she is 😍 Pookie then leads you to your seat 🪑, and of course we SAT 🧎‍♀️ since the QUEEN said so 🤩

She tells you if you have any preferences that you wanted to do to your hair... But because this was an impulsive decision... Girlie ended up having to decide HERSELF 😳 remember when they said to trust your barber? When your barber looks like this... Sign me up, I'm SAT and definitely letting her cut my hair the way she wants because I trust her with my life 😊 Adela liked the fact that you seemed to have no worries, like you were just a silly gal getting a haircut... So no mind altering for YOU 😌 Oh bestie... You are so lucky, getting a haircut, not getting mind altercations from her, sitting in that chair, meeting ADELA??? at the same time??? Girl, I am 😡 jealous, that should be ME! 😭 You be living the life 💅

Timeskip to having one of the best💄💋 makeover that changed the trajectory of your life 😲 You and Adela stayed in touch, she ended up liking you so... You get to be a part of her "mundane" life now... 😿 CRYING because again, how??? 😔 How do you do it, POOKIE?!?? So of course, you end up becoming a regular in her cozy shop, making it a habit to drop by regardless of the constant change of location. When I say you WALK, you WALKED the whole Eastside just to see her 🥰 standing on business just to see your favorite hairdresser... 😩✊

You guys exchange letters, since Adela is kind of old school, so she sends you this beautiful 🌹, amazing 😲, mind-blowing 🤯, life changing letter that you keep in your drawers because of how MAJESTIC her penmanship is... Girl you better keep them in MINT condition, if not, I'm making your house as my rob list... Though, you wonder how she does it, changing locations like my GIRL has a walking hair salon that she can just fold her place and lay it out like a tri-fold brochure, with all the itinerary PACKED 💼 Sis acts as if she is a portable barber shop on the go that can magically appear in the blink of an eye... 👁‍🗨 Oh pookie... If only you knew...

Imagine your surprise receiving a letter that she got in JAIL like... My pookie didn't do wrong! 🤐🤐🤐 This is why you read the news and listen to people, but y'know stuff was boring to read anyways and you wasn't going to listen enough because, you don't like getting told what NOT to do! 💅💅💅 I fear 😰 you ✨SLAYED✨ with the response... So, of course like any sane pookie, you visited your favorite hairdresser to show some moral support with what she was going through... 🤧🤧🤧 *Sniffles* You are such a good pookie that you're making me EMOTIONAL

You met with the chief and her adjutant, they take you to a room that you can chat with Adela, but not you tryna defend pookie while also supporting women's wrongs at the same time because you couldn't go to her cozy vintage barber shop anymore so you protest and started a petition... ONLINE. 🤓 Girl, what is you doing..??? 😧 Both the chief and adjutant thought you were a CRAZED regular of Adela, them thinking you were brainwashed as well, but you explained to them that NO, pookie can't you see I'm grieving rn??? The way that ya'll can see her often but I CANT! Speaks a lot 😢😢😢 ahh dialogue

You sat there WAITING for your fav hairdresser, thinking if she got jumped by some prisoners, because if they did, sweetie... Your going to break in jail and whoop some ass... Even though you know nothing about fighting and have zero experience as well... 😃 Girl, don't be stupid 😭 I don't want to have an early funeral to host because YA'LL died early ⚰⚰⚰ I can't give out plot armor to my pookies too much 🤪🤪🤪 so value your life, but mood 🤩 So, finally pookie arrived, her FACE card never declining, as usual 🥱 You and pookie chat about how she got in jail, with her lowkey lying for a bit because sis didn't want to worry you... 🤧🤧🤧 Sobbing rn because of how sweet she is 😔 Adela, they can never make me hate you... 🥺🥺🥺

After having a sweet conversation with her, she exits the room due to the time limit... 👿 GRR why did they have to cut off the wholesome interaction... I am TWEAKING 🤬 for you guys... The chief then enters the room, wanting to conduct an interview with you. Of course, this makes you act defensive... 🙄🙄🙄 Of your pookie Adela, but the chief assures that she wouldn't be asking questions that are inappropriate... You were ready to make her catch some fists 🤛😠 if anything happens, though you ended up detailing on how you both met and ended up becoming her regular, to which the chief detailing about Adela's reason of imprisonment, and sharing some ILLEGAL 🤫🤫🤫 information that wasn't supposed to be shared to you...

After leaving the MBCC, you began to wonder why Adela kept you around, instead of cutting off contact just like the others. Could it be that you didn't appear to be THAT troubled which is why she didn't have to want alterations towards your memories...? Either way, you are thankful that she chose to stay in touch, because you got to have some fun interactions with her, and like touch grass at the same time! Pookie... I'm looking at some of ya'll who doesn't get enough sun... 😑 Like POOKIE... Go outside! AN: I can't decide if I want to have a part two on this one, but like an angsty, hurt-comfort, with a pinch of wholesomeness type of fic about this because I wanted to expand the LOREEE and yap about her backstory as well... (Can ya'll tell that I am an Adela fan?) But lmk if ya'll want one www but me thinks I'll end up writing it regardless to satisfy my NEED for more Adela content in this app... 😿 Where are all the Adela enjoyers at when you need them? 😔

[plazmafields]

Some thoughts about Kerry:

Spoilers ahead, needless to say.

1)

I saw a video comparing the two versions if Chippin' In (Kerry's vs. Johnny's) where someone in the comments suggested the reason Kerry leaned more mainstream rock is because he only wanted to make music for money. I completely disagree with this and here's why:

User Friendly was the last song Kerry put out before deciding he wasn't going to perform live/tour anymore and went into a deep depression. Looking up the lyrics, you can see he was becoming very distressed with the lack of control he had over his career, and the things he says in the song sound like a cry for help that wasn't received by listeners the way he had hoped. We never hear his version of the song, and I believe that is intentional. Vapid, loud, chaotic, almost over-stimulating laser-pop is such a huge juxtaposition to the lyrics, and yet it's the only version we get to hear. Clearly User Friendly meant a lot to him or I don't think he would have reacted the way he did; combined with the cover being done by a pop group groomed by the music industry to sell as many albums as possible, it all went against Kerry's original intent with the song. Then there's the story of how he wrote Bleed the Beat: he was working his ass off for people he couldn't stand and that song was his outlet during that time. He'd play until his fingers bled just to get his frustrations out. Music is his medium for release, just like it was for Johnny.

In Johnny's version of Chippin' In, the phrase "chipping in" has two meanings: getting your first implants, and, the same as our universe, helping out. Johnny's song uses both meanings interchangeably during the choruses, the verse before it dictating which definition is being used. Johnny's arm is (from what I can tell looking at the design) military issue. The song is both about the corpo military forcing him to get an implant, and also about believing he was doing the right thing when he joined by "helping out" the armed forces. Since, in this universe, militaries are owned and/or sponsored by corporations, Johnny views corporate jobs and military service to be the same level of morally wrong (The Ballad of Buck Ravers attests to this).

In terms of how the two songs compare, obviously Kerry's version of Chippin' In is meant to have more wide appeal. Not only are the lyrics more tame, mostly just talking about the implants themselves and only having one verse that even mentions anything "political", but I believe Kerry understood that the best way to get his music to the most listeners was to go for a more mainstream sound and universally relatable lyrics, so he toned it down. Everyone hates corpos, sure, but not everyone wants to bomb Araska HQ. This is probably a stretch, but we can see from the flashbacks that Kerry didn't have any implants during his time in Samurai, so maybe Johnny was like super opposed to implants after having one forced upon him, and Kerry's version of the song is kind of saying "hey if you want implants get implants, they make you look cool don't feel bad about it."

2)

I do support the idea that Kerry should have been bisexual like in the source material. I absolutely get that bi erasure is a big problem, ESPECIALLY with male characters. However, I respect that in the game you can only romance him with a masc V; I'm not going to mod him to he bi, I'm not gonna ship him with women. I see it the same way I see Cullen from DAI: he is canonically bisexual, just not attracted to my male Inquisitor (in Kerry's case, fem V). Maybe Kerry had such a traumatic divorce from his ex-wife that women just kinda scare him right now. We can see high heels and bras and blush littering his house, so we can assume that at the very least women are still getting naked for some reason or another at his parties. Maybe he prefers men romantically, or maybe he's just not ready to date women again, and we as players should respect that just like we would a real person.

3)

Kerry was 100% going to kill himself when you show up to his house. There are shards advertising robotic security systems in numerous places around his house (meaning he fired his human body guards), shards with negative reviews of his last album, there is only one camera and it is by the front gate (none inside the house), he gave his cleaner and cook "the day off" that very day, you see in emails that his ex-wife is giving him the option of all or nothing with custody (you take the kids or you don't get to see them), and he isn't enjoying making music anymore, his one passion in life. He had a gun with him in the bathroom, and I believe by the way his speech slurs and he makes the impulsive decision to get Samurai back together, that he is drunk for that entire scene and has a drinking problem. It is my opinion that the reason he doesn't reveal any of that to V is because he knows Johnny will hear it and judge him, call him weak, or make insensitive jokes like he does to V when he gives you the quest. The only time we see Kerry be somewhat vulnerable is 1. Over text when talking about the crazed fan, since he probably thinks Johnny can't see those (I believe he can) and 2. In the epilogue when Johnny has been removed from V's head (Kerry says he doesn't want to lose V, and during the credits he tells V he just wants their lives to be less hectic so they can spend more time together).

4)

It took me a couple playthroughs to warm up to Kerry, Panam is probably still my favorite romance, but I think Kerry might be the best romance option for a Skreetkid V. He perfectly embodies the plights of Night City at every income bracket: no matter where you are on the food chain, if you're not at the top, you're getting fucked over. He clearly likes living in comfort while still embracing his rebellious side from his youth. But now, he has the cushion of money and status to save him if things go tits up (when you get a wanted level in Westbrook district, close to North Oak, the officer on the police scanner says "I swear, if its Eurodyne again" suggesting that he is very reckless but hardly ever faces real consequences). Maybe he stays in his gilded cage because he fears facing real hardship on his own, without friends, without a support group, without Johnny. He has a strong sense of pride, though, and would never admit to needing Johnny, even if they were best friends. The way Kerry wants to show Johnny a riff he's been working on after the concert, only to be disappointed when V takes over again, I think it really shows that as much as they disagreed, their friendship held the band together.

5)

I don't remember if Johnny hints at it or I saw someone suggest this on here, but the idea that Kerry only "dates" V because Johnny is in his head is ridiculous to me. The first time he called you to deal with the Us Cracks tour gear, he wanted Johnny. Every time after that, he wanted V. He definitely realizes which of the two is helping him; he can tell them apart. The Johnny that Kerry remembers wouldn't have done a selfless thing in his life, lest risking his pride and reputation as Night City's biggest fuckboy. Whether you really schmooze him up or tell him he's going overboard, Kerry appreciates that you helped him. And I think after the concert, when he hands V his gun, Kerry's body language suggests that he wasn't planning to give the gun to Johnny, he thought about it because V was back in control. V helped get the band back together, V helped decide if Denny or Henry should play the gig, V was the one who brought Johnny to Kerry's house. Johnny won't take over to do it himself despite probably being able to. I only wish you didn't meet him so late in the main story, so that his story could have more time and space to breathe.

[gonnamurdersomeone]

CoD people as cats? I think so here we go!

Someone better appreciate this I literally took 3 pages from my fucking notebook to write all this shit down

Captain John “Bravo-6” Price

I think John would definitely be an Oriental cat if not that then probably a Burmese. Smart, quick on his feet and pretty loyal seems about right.

Lieutenant Simon “Ghost” Riley

I think Simon would be a Norwegian forest cat or a British Short hair.. for obvious reasons dude is a fuckin Brit through and through. I chose NFC becuase they are bigger types of cats and used to harsh climates

Sergeant Kyle “Gaz” Garrick

For Gaz I chose an Abyssinian cat, they are pretty, usually have pretty eyes (like him) and are pretty smart and playful. Very Gaz coded

Sergeant Johnny “Soap” MacTavish

Johnny boy would be a Scottish Fold or a Siamese cat. They are very vocal, love people and are just a joy to be around honestly. Plus they suffer from pretty boy syndrome so… yeah

Sergeant Gary “Roach” Sanderson

Gary my baby boy, I chose an OciCat cause of his name it’s so random? I thought him being a more exotic and weird cat would fit his aesthetic. Very pretty cats too!

General Hershel Shepherd

Fucking hell I hate this dude and for that I gave him a Sphynx cat, they are mean, bald and bossy as fuck. Sound about right for mister Shepherd no?

I want to kill him

Kate “Watcher-1” Laswell

Kate one of my favorites! She would definitely be an American Curl. Very pretty cats with a unique personality and it just fits her. That or a Bombay cat I couldn’t choose

Nikolai “Gaz fell out of the helicopter again”

Nik our lovable transportation buddy, of course he would get a Russian blue there is no need to elaborate here he would be a Russian blue. Very cool cats ngl

Farah “Kilo Actual” Karim

She is so pretty and such a girl boss istg. But I’m giving the Bengal cat or an Ural Rex very curly hair and just very funny kitties, I think it fits her

Alex “Echo 3-1” Keller (Jr Price fr)

Pretty boy gets a pretty cat!!! He gets to be a Manx cat cause of the no tail (and his one leg) nahh jokes aside very pretty kitties for a very pretty boy

Phillip “Shadow-1” Graves

I hate this dude with all my atoms but he’s tolerable compared to Shepherd.. But I gave Graved an American shorthair. One becuase he’s American and two his hairline makes me wanna cry

Vladimir Makarov

I hate you so so much for what you did in MW3… but you are a character so I’m still giving you a cat. If you were a cat my guy I think you’d be an Peterbald or a Karelian cat

Andre “Alpha 2-1” Nolan

Surprisingly not a bad character imo but he could use some more character development! I’m giving him a Korat cat or a Singapura. I wish he got more development in MW3 honestly :/

Alejandro Vargas

Alejandro! Our favorite Mexican man gotta love him and the cowboys. He’s a petty boy as well so I’m giving him a pretty chill and cool cat as well. A color point shorthair, not necessarily a *breed* per day but still he deserves a petty kitty

Rodolfo Parra

Rudy! Another cowboy we love what a gentleman <3 I’m giving him an Egyptian Mau kitty, it has spots and I think Rudy would be a spotted kitty. Very good boy

Valeria “El-Sin-Nombre” Garza

Mommy issues fr love this women. I support women rights AND wrongs 💪 she gets a Donskoy or a Savannah cat. Both wild kitties to match her wild and unpredictable personality I think it fits very well

König

Anxious King gotta love them! For obvious reasons he’s a Maine Coon cat, the biggest house cat there is. For being an absolute UNIT of a man he deserves a very loyal, pretty, and big kitty. God I just wanna smother this man

Kim “Horangi” Hong-jin

Toyger need I say more? It’s a literal house tiger, his name is fucking Tiger he gets to be the tiger damnit! 😤

Darnell “Hutch” Hutcherson

Dunno the rest of these guys very well (besides Nikto) but I’m giving Hutch a Chartreux cat. I wish the more obscure characters got more attention, no they may not be apart of the MW part but still they deserve love

Nikto

I love this man with every fucking atom of my body. My baby boy deserves the best cat in my opinion the Lykoi. Very cool, funny and amazing cats one of the best he’s just a goober I wanna pet him and keep him in my closet away from all the bad things

Mace

Mace heard some things about you here and there and decided I couldn’t leave you behind. You my friend would be an Oriental Longhair dunno why but I think it suits him

Velikan

Idk if this man is even part of the fandom? Either way I’m giving you a cat deal with it. You would be an Highlander cat if not then an Tonkinese kitty.

Keegan P Russ

Oh Keegan my dear boy, you would be a Devon Rex kitty, very smart, mischievous and overall just a joyful cat. You deserve the world my dear

Logan Walker

Ragdoll. You will get a ragdoll take it or leave or my guy. Just know I’m only adding you and everyone else because of Keegan

David “Hesh” walker

Hhhh.. hesh dude idk I’d probably give you a Havanah Brown kitty. Seems like a good fit. Unusual brown kitty for a unusual cool character

Elias T “Scarecrow” Walker

I literally know nothing about you? But I’m still giving you a cat! Uh I think possibly a Javanese cat would fit you my dude.

Alex v “Ajax” Johnson

Same with you like? I have never heard about you either but whatever. I think a Australian Mist or a Khao Manee cat would work

Alright so that’s all the CoD characters I think? I’m not sure if I missed anyone, if I did tell me and I’ll assign them in the comments or whatever.

No I’m not adding the other characters such as Diego or any other unknown Ghost team people or random background people that only have like 2 lines of dialogue or is barely even known within the CoD community.

[kneelingshadowsalome]

Now… we all know König is the epitome of a comphet man. Sadly, he has suppressed his homoerotic feelings (this guy has bathed in comics filled with half nude barbarian warriors, be they men or women, since he was a teenager) and will never address his bisexuality in any way because he's fixed on the ideal of some het idyll.

GODDD YOU WRITE!!! toxic kön so well it's actually unbelievable like it's so "traumatized person's idea of love that they based almost entirely on the dynamics of their family". like in that "im going to do it right and im gonna perform this role so well and ill be happy"

probably even better for him if his gf also comes from an awful family since she's willing to try and make the shoe fit all the time no matter if she fits that, if her own needs come out and she can admit them to herself because nothing can compare to the euphoria she (or könig) feels when he comes back home from deployment, meeting her in the kitchen where she's preparing food for him. and the house is clean and almost quiet and she has her hair and makeup done, she's so dressed up you'd think they're having guests over

probably bc the ghosts of their families (the arguments the physical abuse the fear and desperation and hopelessness and false promises of love and safety) are those omnipresent guests lmao. in their head there's a weird voyeuristic need to show off the perfect het relationship even when no one is watching

cw: im getting weird about gender in this next lart

but i bet könig and his gf in this case would also probably get scared shitless when put into a position that is the opposite of gender conformity.... (?)

his beloved would hate being compared to anything masculine, he hates being percieved as anything feminine. gender non conformity is something they feel is tied to being in a nonhet relationship so they will avoid it at all costs.

being in a het relationship, a traditional one especially, creates some kind of invisible boundary that they feel they can't cross 99% of the time, can't be forced into that other role of their "opposite" no matter what they do because the performance of masculinity and femininity is there in every other aspect of their lives and it makes them feel safe

he is the perfect man, the perfect husband and she is his perfect wife, a woman that only belongs to him and nothing can go wrong

"probably bc the ghosts of their families (the arguments the physical abuse the fear and desperation and hopelessness and false promises of love and safety) are those omnipresent guests lmao. in their head there's a weird voyeuristic need to show off the perfect het relationship even when no one is watching"

This is perfection, this whole message and esp. the paragraph above is art and you're so right!

And your analysis got me thinking...

What if they sometimes stray to the edges of conformity, for example Engel raises her voice and finally snaps at him? König gets to see something unusual: a woman being strong and putting up some boundaries and standing her ground... And he doesn’t get mad, he actually gets intrigued (even aroused??) So he continues to push those boundaries again and more often, tries to carve out that reaction so different from how his mother behaved when he was a child.

Or when Engel sometimes gets to be on top and ride him while having a wicked little twinkle in her eyes? König gets to witness the blunt force of her lust, sees a glimpse of this woman who is comfortable in her sexuality while he’s lying there under her, seemingly vulnerable, as she takes him, uses his body for a change? Fuuuuck

Or how Engel feels in those rare moments when König is seconds away from crying, he's sniffling in her tits because of this or that trauma response or trigger, when König, this big, broad, controlling and protective giant is the one who needs protection and support?

She feels so out of her element and at the same time feels such a relief when the eternal masculine monument of power finally crumbles, even if just a little, and she gets to caress his head and soothe König during his breakdown.

Then back to their “preferred” gender roles they go, König clears his throat and Engel cooks another dinner, giggles in his lap while he treats her like a fragile little princess…

Gahh I want Engel to try on his hood and like choke him a little in bed or something while König looks up at her with the tiniest tinge of submissive adoration. Also, why can’t these two just be normal and work their way out of their stupid problems in a healthy way lol… (I wouldn’t have anything but wholesome fluff to write then would I!)

[yellowkitkieran]

I have a Kieran request🙋🏼‍♀️ hello👋🏻 could I have a fem reader who is Kieran’s girlfriend who plays for arsenal women’s team and Kieran and some of the lads from the men’s team go to watch the CL semi at the Emirates, reader is playing and has a nasty tackle put on her and she tears her ACL and Kieran goes into protective bf mode and comforts her through going to the hospital getting the ACL diagnosis and then the rehab and getting back on the pitch please. Thank you so much 😘

Support System (Kieran Tierney)

Masterlist

Word Count: 2.1k

When Kieran arrived at the Emirates with Martin and Bukayo, he'd buzzed with excitement. Watching his girlfriend play in the semi finals of the Champion's League, in front of a packed house? Hell. Yes. He is the proudest man on earth when he takes his seat in the Arsenal box, surrounded by staff, players, family and friends that had come to see the women's team take on their opponents. 

Everyone's fingers and toes are crossed for a win, of course wanting to see their counterparts through to the final. Kieran goes full fan boy when he sees you step out of the tunnel, standing up out of his seat and screaming at the top of his lungs like you could hear him on the pitch. Your hearing may be sharp, but it's definitely not sharp enough to pick out his voice from the tens of thousands of fans packing the stands. 

When you kiss your wrist four times and pin your eyes on his box, Kieran grins. He knows you see him; you're drawn to him like a magnet, the same way he is when you're watching him play. Kieran is in awe when he sees the switch flip in you, going from cheeky girlfriend to stone cold footballer in a matter of seconds as the Champion's League theme plays over the speakers.

"She's gonna score, I can feel it," Kieran says to his mates with a goofy, excited grin. 

Martin just nods, which Kieran accepts because he knows Martin is analyzing the players with a captain's eye in search of any potential weaknesses. Bukayo matches Kieran's grin, "I bet she will mate, especially with you here! She's got it all to play for. She's their leading goal scorer, isn't she?"

"Got that right! My missus has scored more than even you this season. Her left foot is incredible."

"We could use her on the men's team," Martin jokes, earning him a laugh from his teammates. The trio falls quiet as the captains trade flags and the teams fall loosely into their positions on the pitch. 

The Arsenal women's squad is a force to be reckoned with. The eleven women on the pitch are menaces from kick off, nutmegging their opponents left and right. A general sense of frustration settles over the away fans corralled in their corner, their angry chants rising above those in favor of the hosts. 

You play beautifully, just like always. Kieran shouts encouragements each time you touch the ball, heart swelling when some of your footwork puts his own to shame. God, he could learn so much from you if he had the time to sit in on some of your training sessions. Maybe that's something he'd need to bring up to Arteta-

A simultaneous gasp goes up from fans of both teams, a ripple of unease moving through the crowd as you go down hard from a rough tackle. Kieran swears he can hear your immediate shout of pain, like his senses are hyper aware of what's happened. You crumple to the pitch, fingers digging into the grass. Something tells Kieran you aren't acting, not based on the way your team rushes to surround you.

"That was bad," Martin murmurs beside him. "Like, season ending bad."

"She's still not up," Kieran notes, on his feet and craning his neck to see you on the near touchline. He's too high up, you're facing away from him; he can't judge your expression to get an accurate read on the severity of your injury. But from the way your shoulders shake, he's positive it isn't good. Not at all. You don't cry unless you can't walk it off- if you're sobbing on the pitch, something has gone terribly wrong. His stomach churns and he might be sick then and there. 

Show me you're alright, love. Show me that this is just some showmanship to get you the advantage. 

Focused as he is on you, Kieran doesn't notice the other defender being red carded until Bukayo mentions it. Truthfully Kieran doesn't care; he needs to get to you. That's all he knows. Because you still aren't up, they're bringing out a stretcher board, and that's his final straw. 

"I'm heading down," Kieran says to no one in particular. He snags his jacket off the back of his seat, feet carrying him to the door while the image of you going limp when you hit the pitch replays in his head over and over. 

You're hurt. Kieran has potentially just watched your season end. Your knee bent the wrong way when you went down… nothing about the situation gives him any sort of hope. 

No one tries to stop him as he navigates down to the belly of the stadium, swiping the id card he keeps in his wallet to gain access to the player area. His heart stops as soon as he pulls open the heavy steel door- he can already hear your sobs. 

He half runs to the medical suite, purposely averting his eyes from the changing area attached to it, focused only on you. 

Your left knee is already wrapped in ice. One arm is thrown over your eyes, your pained breathing interrupted now and again with raspy sobs. It's so much worse than he thought. The medical staff doesn't even try fixing the issue, most of them mulling about whilst one woman gently props your knee up so the swelling doesn't constrict your blood flow. 

The few staff members step back when Kieran approaches. He lays his hand on your shoulder, crouching at the head of your stretcher so he can murmur in your ear, "I'm so sorry sweetheart. I'm so sorry."

Kieran's voice only makes you sob harder. Your arms automatically reach back to find him, fingers curling in his hair to the point of pain. He lets you do it though, knowing it's nothing compared to what you're going through now. 

"It fucking hurts Key," you grit out, tipping your head back to look at him with red rimmed eyes. "I'm fucked aren't I? I'm so fucked."

He kisses your forehead, pulling up a chair to sit next to you so you can see him properly. He smooths a hand over your hair, using the other to bring one of yours up to his mouth to kiss your knuckles. 

"I'm not a doctor sweetheart… but I'm afraid I think your season is over." Panic flashes in your eyes. Kieran wants nothing more than to take away that feeling. He wishes he could tell you everything would be fine, that it was nothing more than a sprain. He knows better though, so he waits while you go through a myriad of emotions in the blink of an eye. 

"But the world cup-"

"I know, baby. I know." The last thing you need to do is dwell on what could have been. Your call up had meant the world to you. Representing your country this summer in Australia was all you had been able to talk about for months. Scotland had finally qualified, you were set to be their captain-  you were going to lead the women's team to glory, to their first major trophy. 

"It's my ACL, isn't it?" Your eyes are pained when they meet Kieran's brown ones. "It's torn, I can feel it. No one will tell me what they think, Key." He knows you're asking for a lifeline. You want him to lie. He can't do it- he can't give you that hope when he isn't certain there is anything to give. 

Kieran leans forward and kisses your cheek, lips lingering on your skin. "Whatever it is, you and I will get through it. Together."

Kieran becomes your rock. He's at your side when you're taken to the hospital and told you'll definitely require surgery to repair your ACL. He's the shoulder you cry on when you're given a timeline. The questions fall to him, and he asks all the right ones to get the answers you need. Minimum six months, likely more with rehab. 

"Together," he reminds you as often as he can. "Together, together, together."

*********

"Alright my love, ready to head inside?"

"I think so."

"Let me come get your door for you."

You've not been back at the training grounds since your injury. Silence ruled the car ride, the dewy morning clinging to the atmosphere and further dampening what should have been an exciting day. Yes, you were on crutches and no, you definitely wouldn't be training three days after your surgery, but at least you could see your teammates. 

Kieran had thought that being at one of the places you both feel at home might provide the push you need. Lately you've been plain depressed. He doesn't blame you for it, though he does want to make sure you're pulled out of it as quickly as possible. 

You don't move when Kieran opens your car door. He waits patiently to give you time to process. You stare into space for a solid minute, then jump when Kieran lays a gentle hand on your arm. 

"Sweetheart? Let's go inside and say hello to your girls."

"Oh, um- right." You take hold of Kieran's hand and swing your good leg out first, placing all your weight on it as you stand. Your braced leg comes next, and you rely heavily on Kieran to keep you steady until he can pass off your crutches. Only when you nod does he let go, allowing you to start the slow, long walk to the building. 

Your movements are stiff and awkward. The crutches are an adjustment that you're still getting used to. Kieran is nervous with each step you take, his hand hovering inches from your back so he can grab your belt if you start to tip one way or the other. He is your protector now more than ever. His job is to ensure you make it through this injury stronger than you were before. 

You pause halfway to the door, obviously exhausted. Kieran sets his hand on your lower back and gives you an encouraging kiss to your temple. 

"Take your time," he says softly. He doesn't want you over exerting yourself and causing further injury. 

"This is fucking embarrassing," you mutter, closing your eyes to stave off tears. "I can't even make it from the car park to the door- I'm a professional athlete! I should be able to run for miles and not feel a thing!"

Kieran steps in front of you, ducking his head so you're forced to meet his eyes. "Hey. Hey- you had a very tough injury only a week ago. It's affected you physically and mentally sweetheart, and I know it's a huge challenge. But I promise you, I know you'll bounce back. I'll be cheering for you every step of the way. Together, remember? I've got your back."

Kieran knows he's gotten through to you when you draw a deep, even breath. Your eyes become hardened chips of steel, determined to overcome this hurdle. 

"Alright, let's move."

You make it all the way inside and down to the women's changing room in one fell swoop, Kieran beaming with pride the entire time. He doesn't follow you inside the women's room obviously, but he does hear the immediate cheers from your team as soon as you're through the door. He smiles to himself, leaning on the wall outside and catching snips of what your girls are asking. 

"-how long? Shit-"

"-Is the pain alright? Surely they must-"

"How's Kieran been with all this?"

That's the question Kieran wants you to answer. He sidesteps closer to the door, praying he can hear you through the wood. 

"Key? He's been perfect. I don't think I'd be standing right now if not for him." Your words lift a weight off Kieran's chest. "He says we're in this together and so far he's held his word. It's easier when there's someone in your corner, you know? He helps take away the stress by reminding me what I'm working towards… being out here with all of you again. The good thing is, Kieran won't let me stop until I get there."

[iamnathannah]

A Girl, Letting Go

Barbie – "I didn't get put here to lay down and leave you and Sasha flailing. I'm all in on this, and like they say at corporate; I can do anything."

Gloria – "You were, and are, my dream, and my dreams are never wrong; we'll cry when we watch our daughter graduate. I only love you, Millicent Barbara Handler."

AU Glorbie; Gloria is a young intern at Mattel in 2005 just out of USC when she has a breakdown, finds out she's pregnant from a one-night stand, and when her parents find out, Gloria's Catholic father shames her and slaps her upside the cheek for her being the deshonró a la familia, and tells her the only way she'll be supported is full compliance with his wishes for her future.

Unconsciously while taking down a commercial shoot Gloria holds a Barbie. She recalls memories in the past in that moment, about being repressed from loving her student council's president because of her mother's racist and homophobic views, recalls how in that girl's worst moment before she was shipped out to Nebraska and stricter relatives, the two women exchanged a kiss of comfort and support and acts it out with the doll, imprinting upon it. Barbie feels it in Barbieland out of the blue while on the beach, and runs back to her house with other Kens and Barbies trailing her, whom she does not acknowledge.

Barbie feels the hurt, the abuse from Gloria parents for pursuing design and shooting for USC rather than Azusa, and the pressure to find 'the right guy', leaving her with Richie, a good man, but only that. Fears of her future and how she raises her child without her the support of her family if she lives her authentic self. Her mood plunges and she knows that she can't stay in Barbieland one moment longer.

Barbie breaches into the San Fernando Mission Cemetery to find Gloria at the grave her abuelo, the only person to ever know Gloria carried sapphic feelings and who treasured her the most, even more than his own daughter, seeking prayer and guidance, and breaks down, her head upon his gravestone. She approaches slowly and carefully, touches her shoulder, and when Gloria looks up...

That feeling she had for her Millicent...her Millie. The bluest eyes and softest mouth, her height protective over her and the school. There is no doubt; they shine together, and Barbie cries with her and breaks down with her. They just know; Gloria remembers when she imprinted upon her at the shoot.

Barbie feeling such deep love immediately pushes her fully into the real world and Weird Barbie had explained the consequences; she can't go back, but Mattel will properly support her, and she has a job as a trade show model. Despite all those who look at her in different ways and so many offers of affection, Barbie's heart stays only true to Gloria, and they begin to fall in love as Gloria sets up displays and find little moments to be intimate, in trade show hotel rooms, Barbie's little extended stay apartment, Gloria's own building, and anywhere they can. Their lovemaking is soft, but still intense, and each morning after is filled with promises, tears and care as Barbie catalogs each day of Gloria's pregnancy when she can.

Eventually her parents confront her without knowing about the relationship; she has to stop her internship, be a proper Catholic wife and marry her child's father. Richie didn't expect this and is scared; he knows Gloria loved him only that night but if he doesn't marry her, Mr. Esperada suggested certain 'connections' to ruin his life.

Gloria moves back in with her parents and Richie; they try to avoid the topic of the wedding, claiming they want to make sure it's later in the pregnancy. Gloria continues to intern to run out her term, secretly hoping that Mattel switches it to full-time work.

When Gloria thinks she's attending a baby shower offered by her friends, she finds out that her parents planned it instead as a wedding and her closest friends sold her out with Richie acquising to his future father-in-law's wishes. It's betrayal, and in her last desperate act, she calls Barbie at the biggest event she has, LA Comic Con and leaves a voicemail to let her know . Barbie risks it all by sneaking out without telling anyone because she wants to actually get her hands dirty with toys; she's much more than a pretty face for the company.

She tries to sneak into the house while everyone is in the background; Richie catches her; they've seen each other and know Gloria has a unique connection to the mother of his child, and helps her crawl into the window of Gloria's childhood bedroom. Richie heads back out to find a distraction to get Gloria in and finds it when he realizes there's no wedding cake and raises hell with her parents fighting about it. Overwhelmed, Gloria flees into the room because whatever the cake is, sugar has pretty much made her vomit since she got morning sickness.

Gloria finds Barbie on the bed and is thrown off. They keep their voices down as her first worry is Barbie's future employment.

"Do I look like I give a fuck, G? Your health, safety and care is my most important priority right now. "It can't be! I'm a fuck-up about to have a kid and...look at you. Who wants a chubby failure, especially someone who...come on, Barbie, you're a knockout! I'm just...Gloria." "You're not a failure, good God, would you look at yourself? You're gorgeous, kind, funny, and full of heart. You connected with me and I feel what you feel, my heart was racing all day at the convention center because all I feel now is panic! I can't let you do make this mistake–" "She needs a father!" "She'll have one and Richie is all in on support, that's not in question, but you're going to let these backwards zealots get their way? Why, because you're human? I wasn't human a few months ago and I wouldn't trade going back to Barbieland for anything in any world." She pushes up Gloria's shirt to place her hand on her stomach. "I'm here for you, I'm here for Sasha, and I don't give a damn if Mattel dumps me, you're my whole heart. I will not let you say 'I do' and just dispose of your life because of some religious shit to maintain the 'proper family'. You're my family and–" Barbie startles as she feels a sharp kick against her palm and Gloria lets out a sharp gasp. "Barbie?" "Is something wrong?" "I...I think you imprinted onto...us." Gloria is emotional. "My doc told me that I should be concerned if–oh my God, another. If she didn't kick by now." She shudders and begins to cry. "She...she kicked for you. She...she knows. My body knows." Another couple of sharp kicks; Barbie feels emotional herself.

"Wow, she's a regular Abby Wambach." Barbie and Gloria lay on the bed, and Barbie lays against the woman's stomach. "She didn't until now?" "I didn't want to freak anyone out with all this going on, and–" Gloria brushes Barbie's hair aside as she feels soft pecks on her belly...and little boots with each kiss. "Baby." "I love you, and I love you," Barbie whispers against her belly. "My daughter will never know the hate and persecution her parents have forced upon her." Gloria is struck by the seriousness of her girlfriend's tone.

"Barbie," she murmurs. "You think of her as...that?" "As much as this horrid society can let me claw out," she hisses bitterly. "I'm here, and I am never leaving you." She holds Gloria's hand. "I didn't get put here to lay down and leave you and Sasha flailing. I'm all in on this, and like they say at corporate; I can do anything." Gloria looks directly in Barbie's eyes; she sees nothing but fire in them that will never be extinguished, and a determination she never knew from anyone who ever loved her. She hears the argument in the living room between Richie and her parents; that chaos could be her life.

But in Barbie, she sees the comfort she felt around Millie, and the support that the girl gave her before she was shipped off, her spirit effectively vanquished. Without Gloria, Millie lost her fight. She still remembers collapsing in her dorm when she heard the news that she had passed in her garage, her self-worth crushed and her body bruised from further abuse.

Barbie reminds her of Millie in so many ways; the sharing of her name as Barbie's middle name especially. It's like she floated around, waiting for Gloria to come back, and her life force was within this warm and tangible woman, who would support her all the way.

"You're free of that pain," Gloria says, blue eyes upon brown, brushing aside some stray hairs from her face. She's tearful and joyful. "You're here." Barbie's eye catches on a photograph taped to Gloria's mirror in that moment, of her and Millie candid in a student project. The two women look so young...and then the memories course through, of their small moments, their conversations about homework and projects, and of how the most innocent thing...a mere dream she voiced, wishing to kiss Gloria, was how Millie's parents found out.

The clarity of her resemblance, and of knowing the feeling of those last moments in that garage; Barbie had just suddenly...existed in that Dreamhouse. There was no childhood, no teenage years, nor any love to find with Ken.

The memories of her high school years return. Of her childhood, and that her parents snuffed her flame at every opportunity. Even as she had all A's, that didn't matter.

Only the Lord did. Only that awful boy who she somehow by some miracle kept from doing anything more than forceful kissing. Of how that girl, who was described in racially crude terms, was the only one to understand her at all. "My first body...by the end, I looked forward to the darkness," Barbie admits, tearful. "I think that...form...it was done." She bawls into Gloria's shoulder. "Never...leaving...you...again." Barbie always wondered why a certain scent that Gloria wore was so damned persistent in her mind, but she couldn't place it because the years in the limbo of Barbieland were a fog. She kisses Gloria softly, and where she saw fear only a few minutes before, now she saw full determination, and strength.

"You were, and are, my dream, and my dreams are never wrong; we'll cry when we watch our daughter graduate. I only love you, Millicent Barbara Handler." She held the woman's hand firmly in hers. "You've faced and survived death once. We're growing so damned old we get on the news when we're 110 and say like, ginger beer keeps us alive, some bullshit. It's our spirit." "And our connection." Barbie nods. "If we leave–" "No looking back. Things can be replaced. Souls, cannot." Gloria gets off the bed, Barbie getting up with her, and embraces her into a deep hug. "You, Sasha and I, against the world." She kisses Barbie on the lips.

"The worlds," Barbie corrects. "And so many lifetimes and guises, our love will be eternal. It already was." She looks down at the stomach of the smaller woman, filled with joy and wonder. "You ready, honeybee?" Gloria nods. "They don't accept, they don't know her. Ever. And I'm content with that." They come out of the bedroom, and indeed, the trio stands firm; Richie will not marry Gloria, and he doesn't give a damn if he's a marked man, he knows Barbie is her true love. LAPD does have to get involved, but Barbie protects Gloria with all she has, and the three are able to escape any charge, refusing to yield to one of Gloria's more aggresive uncles and his orders to marry her. Richie is able to defend himself and though hurt, he will live with nothing more than a minor stab wound.

The Esperadas indeed disown Gloria, but it means nothing; a work friend of Barbie's caught her fleeing and vouches to Mattel that she'd never leave work unsaid outside a true emergency, and Barbie is thankful to get a slap on the wrist and a relieving downgrade to voiceover-only roles and some consulting. Gloria gets full-time with Mattel after maternity leave with her portfolio and display work impressing her superiors. Richie shares a new apartment with them to bond with Sasha, and finds his own love, staying nearby to remain a strong force in her life.

The second chance and motherhood invigorate both women, and before long, whatever hurdles the Esperada-Handlers, their friends and the Church put in their way are easily overcome, and they and Gloria's former friends are shunned when the community at large finds out about the shower-turned-wedding; the other Esperada siblings outside two loyal to their parents turn away from them too, content to let them wither away and their bigoted calls for Gloria to repent go unheeded.

Several years later, Gloria and Barbie marry when they're able to, with Richie giving Gloria away, and Sasha as a flower girl, and they love each other more every day. And on the tenth anniversary of Millie's death, the two women visit a certain residence in Nebraska, both to understand why she took her life, and to confront her parents and an uncle for their abuse.

The three take sight of a woman who looks like Millie, but all grown up, and the father drops dead of a heart attack, the mother of a stroke, and that cruel uncle? Nobody believes him when he says he saw Millie in the flesh, and he spends the rest of his life institutionalized, hearing Barbie's words to him.

"I lived and loved Gloria after all. You'll go to your grave knowing that my spirit lived through the pain you forced me through."

And when they visit Millie's grave in that churchyard, they come upon it, thinking nothing of the lilies, before a woman there at the same time makes note of it.

"They just began to grow one day, nobody knows why." It's then that they notice the subtle rainbow of pink, orange, and violet lilies, full of life.

"Your pain in that life, is now full-throated and colorful love in this one," Barbie whispers to the grave, her thumb caressing Gloria's chin before drawing her into a soft kiss. They both imagine the spirit of Millie above them, freed and comforted that Gloria found her soul on Earth anew.

Millie looks down at them, grateful that she can now be fully at peace, and that her soul will be united with barbie's decades from now, in bliss and contentment.

[shoujoboy-restart]

By Mary Harrington, May 6 2024.

[...] Canadian Right-wing firebrand Lauren Southern, whose early video content regularly challenged liberal feminist orthodoxy, and promoted domesticity. Our stories are symmetrical in some respects: both of us embraced radical politics in our early twenties, me on the Left and Southern on the Right. Both of us embraced ideologies that felt inspiring in the free-floating world of the internet. And both of us, albeit in different ways, have course-corrected back toward reality in part via the fiercely practical experience of caring for a child.

Southern has attracted vitriolic criticism from the Right, for speaking openly about how “tradlife” went wrong for her. She, however, sees speaking out not as betrayal of her own “side”, but as continuous with her earlier willingness to challenge progressive consensus on topics such as immigration. “I’m not worried about saying the things I’m saying right now, that are getting me so attacked online. Because I’ve dealt with this, with South Africa. I’ve dealt with this with mass immigration, I’ve dealt with this with my critiques of feminism. And every single one turned out: oh, maybe she was onto something.”("sure I was wrong about trad life, but my racism is still right you will see")

For, she tells me, she’s not alone. She tells me she knows many other women still suffering in unhappy “tradlife” marriages. One of her WhatsApp groups, she says, “is like the Underground Railroad for women in the conservative movement”. Some of these are prominent media figures: “There are a lot of influencers who are not in good relationships, who are still portraying happy marriage publicly, and bashing people for not being married while being in horrendous relationships.” She hopes that in speaking out she can reassure “all of these women who are thinking in their heads: I’m uniquely terrible, and I’m uniquely making a mistake” that no: something is more generally amiss.

There were warning signs from early on. “If I ever disagreed with him in any capacity he’d just disappear, for days at a time. I remember there were nights where he’d call me worthless and pathetic, then get in this car and leave.” But she didn’t see them, thanks to the simplified anti-feminist ideology she’d absorbed and promoted: “I had this delusional view of relationships: that only women could be the ones that make or break them, and men can do no wrong.” So she didn’t spot the red flags, even as they grew more extreme. “He’d lock me out of the house. I remember having to knock on the neighbour’s door on rainy nights, because he’d get upset and drive off without unlocking the house. It was very strange, to go from being this public figure on stage with people clapping, to the girl crying, knocking on someone’s door with no home to get into, being abandoned with a baby.”

But as she tells it, the nightmare began in earnest when he was offered a work opportunity in his home country of Australia, a few weeks after the birth of their baby. She did not want to leave her support networks behind. But he used the political and religious importance she placed on lifelong marriage as a lever to force her to agree: “Whenever I wouldn’t do something, he would say: I’m going to divorce you.” So, feeling she had no other option, she assented.

He also insisted she should publicly quit work. His work required a high level of government security clearance; she was a Right-wing provocateur who had faced deplatforming, state investigations, and was even banned from entering the UK. In their early, giddy romance this had felt manageable. But “when we moved back to Australia, he really wanted to get back into his old work”. And Southern was a “hardcore liability”, so the pressure was on: “It was like: Lauren, you gotta hire lawyers. You’ve got to disavow everything. You’ve got to never talk publicly again.”

So, in 2019, she announced that she was leaving media and activism altogether. As Southern tells it, she was trying sincerely to put into practice the ideology she’d promoted in her videos. “I believed I had a certain role in my relationship,” she told me. “And it was to be the more submissive one that supports my husband’s dreams.”("if I don't give up of my constitutional rights, which I keep claiming the left.wanta to take away, my husband will be so sad tho" like damn ma' you

“I was told daily that I was worthless, pathetic. Deadweight.”

Then, thousands of miles from friends and family, she reports becoming “the closest thing to a modern day, Western slave”. With no income of her own, she had to do everything: “The lawns, the house, the cooking, the baby care, his university homework. And I didn’t know anyone. I didn’t have any support. There was no help changing diapers, there was no help waking up in the night with the baby. I’d still have to get up, to make breakfast before work. I’d be shaking and nervous, for fear I’m gonna get yelled at.” Then he’d berate her for spending all her time on tasks other than earning money: “I was told daily that I was worthless, pathetic. Deadweight. All you do is sit around and take care of the baby and do chores.” When Covid shut down all real-world public life, her situation became “hell on earth”. It was, she said, “the only time in my life where I idealised dying.”

“He was so much kinder, sweeter and more pursuant of me when I was this ‘boss babe’ travelling the world working. It seemed like becoming a mother made him lose respect for me. It was shocking to me, again, because the traditional view preached the opposite — that men love you more when you stop working and become a wife and mother.” In her experience, though, this was “very much not the case”.

Talk about imperfect victim, right?

Lauren should be criticized and reprimanded for her racism, bigotry and general alt-right fuckery. But obviously no one deserves to suffer domestic violence and abuse from their partners, I hope she fully wakes up and realises part of the reason she even got herself in a lifestyle that is a catalyst for abuse is because part of her mindset was the need for a "strong (white) man to care for her and protect her (from them immigrants)" she was also sold while fear mongering immigration.

Again, she should be criticized and reprimanded for her divisive ideology, not mocked for thinking she would be a exception to the actual reality of trad life.

I'm hoping she never has to experience this sort of abuse ever again in her life no matter what, hoping she also becomes a better person and leaves behind these regressive bigoted ideals of her too.

[djnusagi]

It is 2003. I am 4 years old. Every day I'm dropped off at the daycare center in the community college my dad attends. All my friends there are girls. We play dress up with a big milk crate full of clothes. I want to wear one of the dresses. I am told it's not allowed because I'm a boy. It is 2005. I am 6 years old. I make friends with a girl in my class. She is my best friend and we are together every day. One day she says she can't be my friend anymore because I am a boy and boys are gross and I'm weird. I don't want to be friends with any of the boys. They all bully me and hit me and pin me to the ground. But that's ok because that's just how boys play. I have no friends anymore. It is 2006. I am 7 years old. I stare at a woman in an advertisement in one of my mom's magazine. She is beautiful. I want to grow up to look like her. I realize I will not grow up to look like her and will instead grow up to look like my father. The thought fills me with fear. I go up to my room and cry. I draw a picture of myself as a girl. I go to sleep praying that I will wake up as a girl named Sarah, and that my life as a boy will slowly fade from my mind. I try to kill myself through strangulation in the school bathroom. I obviously fail but my attempt on my life is discovered anyway. My parents are furious that I would be so selfish. It is 2009. I am 10 years old. I have one friend. He hits me and calls me a faggot but he is nicer than any other boys at school. I am over at his house. His mother speaks on the phone about a gay man they knew who got something called a "sex change". I do not know what this means but it piques my interest. I desperately want to know more, but I know that it's taboo and wrong.

It is 2011. I am 12 years old. I discover what "transgender" means. I spend hours on the computer, looking at websites about Male to Female Transsexuals. I treat the transsexual roadmap like a bible. I want to transition right away. I tell my school counselor. She is supportive, but implores me to consider simply being a gay male crossdresser like her son. I do not want that. I want to be a girl. I tell my parents. They tell me I have been brainwashed. That I will never be allowed to transition and that if they catch me looking at websites about the matter I will be punished. It is 2012. I am 13 years old. A year of constant begging and pleading has convinced my parents to take me to a gender specialist. I think I will finally get puberty blockers, or maybe even estrogen. I am interrogated for hours by an adult about my sexuality, sexual desires, and whether or not I like women's clothing. I like boys and girls, which I tell her, but I do not have much in the way of sexual desires, because I am 13. She takes this as deceit. At one point she touches between my legs and rubs my genitals through my pants. I do not want this. But I will endure it for the privilege of being allowed to transition. In the end she tells me there is no way I can be trans, because I am attracted to girls and interested in anime, which is a "male interest". It is 2013. I am 14 years old. Every day I roleplay in chatrooms with strangers. I do not want them to be sexual but they quickly take on a sexual nature at the insistence of my rp partners. I have been doing this for a year now. This is the only place I can be a girl. I exchange skype info with a few of these people and begin chatting regularly. A man in his late 20s asks me to be his girlfriend. I accept. At least he sees me as a girl. It is 2014. I am 15 years old. I have begun growing scraggly hair all over my neck. I have been in a daze for weeks. I cannot focus. I feel detached from my body. I am like a zombie. My dad takes me into the bathroom and shows me how to shave. He pats me on the back and tells me I am a man now. I go into my bedroom and cry. Later on my parents discover the roleplaying and my boyfriend. My ipod and my laptop are confiscated and the door is taken off my bedroom. I am placed under strict monitoring and supervision. I try to kill myself. I wake up alive in a hospital bed. I am taken to a large building where I sleep on a cot and am watched by doctors. I don't remember a lot from this time period. I went home and watched evangelion for the first time.

It is 2016. I am 17 years old. The door is put back on my bedroom. I am given back my iPod and am allowed to take my laptop into my bedroom by myself. I stay inside every day watching pirated anime because it lets me forget about reality. It is 2018. I am 19 years old. I get my first smartphone and immediately download grindr. I hook up with strange men who hide me from their wives. Being fucked by them is the closest I get to feeling like a girl. I find out about a student at my community college who sells a variety of sedative pills. It is 2019. I am 20 years old. I am spending all my money on xanax, percocets, oxycotin and similar pills. I take them more and more often and in higher doses over time. I start coming to class high. I fall asleep in the hallways from time to time. This is the only way I can numb the constant ambient pain caused by my unaddressed gender dysphoria. It is 2020. I am 21 years old. The whole world is locked down. I am forced to stop taking pills and replace it with copious amounts of weed, which is now legal. I am no longer in school. I am high all the time. I can't sleep at night. I want to be a girl so badly. It is 2021. I am 22 years old. I will start school again in September. I have started hormone replacement therapy, but I know it is too late for me. My body is mangled beyond repair by years of drugs. I have taken to excessive caloric restrictions in order to lose weight. The hormones don't do much, but they help me sleep better. I am sober now. It is 2024. I am about to turn 25 in a month. I see an article headlined: "my trans kid experienced a joyful, anxiety-free girlhod - all thanks to puberty blockers". I want to cry but the tears won't come. I know that should have been me. But it wasn't. I will never be a girl. I will never be a woman. I will never be happy.

[tallymonster]

This last episode of The Gilded Age made me cry AGAIN. this show is perfection and I am so here for what's coming next. Spoilers under cut cuz I have mutuals who arent caught up to the most recent episode. I'm not talking about EVERYTHING tho cuz I only remember the big parts tbh.

HOLY SHIT okay so first off, Peggy and the reporter guy whose name I always forget KISSED last episode!!!!

So glad Marian was like GIRL HE'S MARRIED TF?!

Also the whole thing with the school closing, like I cannot believe they would just close it because it's a school for black kids wtf 1880's New York!! You're supposed to be more progressive, but yeah stark reminder of the times we're in during the show.

The whole thing with Mrs. Russell and Mrs. Winterton being all petty with each other now that Winterton has some pull with the old guard who are leaving the Academy for the Met??? 🤌🤌🤌🤌🤌🤌🤌🤌🤌🤌🤌. HERE. FOR. IT. love the bargaining to get the center box. Like Winterton, girl, this is BERTHA RUSSELL.

oh and speaking of hbic Mrs. Russell, the Duke is coming to the Met omfg her whole world just ended right there!! The look on her face when Larry and Gladys were like " Hey, were off to the party, see ya!"

That fucking party too!!!! Omfg Dash, I cannot with you!!!!! To like invite everyone that you know to this solarium thing which, baller move btw I would love to have my own solarium in a garden like living the dream

Okay, so this party is popping off too like all the DRAMA

Gladys is getting hit on by ANOTHER bachelor, and Larry comes to the rescue like a protective older brother, we stan.

Oscar and Maud are hella cute together, like I know he's gay and kind of a fortune chaser, and I have a feeling she's got something going on with her...like idk there's just some slightly red tinged flags with her background...I guess we'll see...BUT they kissed too!!!!!! And it was so hot!!!! Like daaamn Oscar!!! I didn't know you could kiss a lady like that!!

So Dashiel puts the party together for the dedication of the solarium, but then as he's making a speech about it, he brings up Marian!!!

And then he starts going on this rant about moving back to NY to have his daughter grow up where he did and he didn't expect to fall in love

Y'all the look on Marian's FACE!!??? it was the same look I had too tbh

HE PROPOSED TO HER!!!!! AND AUNT AGNES WAS ALL ABOUT IT CUZ DUH

Omg and Aunt Ada and Forte were both like UH UH YOU DO NOT WANNA SAY YES WE CAN TELL!!!!

Like everyone was hella shocked and YALL THE SCREAM I SCREAMED WHEN THEY SHOWED LARRY'S FACE!!!! this poor man just got dumped by his boss/milfy widow just to come back to NY and see the other girl he liked get engaged. Big fat L for Larry.

Cut to Jack, he sent in for a patent for that clock piece he invented, and he gets denied because he's not part of a clockmakers guild or whatever.

Fucking Armstrong over here has to shit in his Cheerios and just talk mad shit like I cannot wait for her to say the wrong thing in front of Agnes. like you're on thin ice already because of all the racist shit you did and said to Peggy, Armstrong like what is your game plan???

So Mr. Russell goes to one of the union dudes houses. Like it's the same guy who came to his house but again, I forget their names

They talk for a min and it looks like Russell is having a small change of heart when he sees the man's family. The oldest son who doesn't look more than like 17 tells Russell that he's working in the mill too, to support his family.

Russell leaves and is greeted by a mob of people who work in the mills. Like they brought their families too so you see women with babies in their arms.

Rest of the episode is going back and forth between the smaller plots. Like Bannister and one of the other servants whose name I also forget seeing Church come back to the Russell home drunk, which ended up being that it was the 30th anniversary of the death of Church's wife who died so he got drunk.

Same small plot thing, Mrs. Astor, Mrs. Van Rhijn, and Mr. McAllister all come together to plot how to save the Academy since Winterton is taking a bunch of people and taking them to the Met.

Okay, now for the worst cry I had.

Forte and Ada come to visit Agnes after their honeymoon to Niagara Falls.He had been having some back pain and he went to some doctors

At first it was just like oh here's some pain meds to take care of it, let's go do some tests though.

Well....he goes to another specialist and he tells Forte that he has something more serious.

Cut to Marian coming to visit, she's thinking it's about her engagement to Dash, so she starts to talk about it with Ada

Ada was like "I didn't call for you?"

Forte comes out and says "I did. I need to talk to the both of you." And makes Ada and Marian sit.

Scene cuts to Marian rushing into the Van Rhijn house, Agnes, Oscar, and cousin Aurora are all there.

We find out that Uncle Forte as Marian calls him, has cancer. It's the kind that starts in the back and begins to spread. So it sounds like he has some sort of bone cancer?

Agnes immediately rushed over to Ada

Scene change and we go to Ada and Forte in his bed, she's cuddling him and telling him that they'll get through it. She starts to tear up which makes him cry.

The doorbell rings, and Ada goes downstairs

She sees Agnes there and she runs into her sister's arms.

The sobbing that Cynthia Nixon did here absolutely destroyed me.

Agnes saying to Ada, "I'm here. You've not to worry." Just reminded me of my brother doing that with me when our mom died and it broke me.

Agnes tried to get Ada and Forte to come to the Van Rhijn home but they said no

Props to Ada and Forte. Death with dignity will always be my stance and I think that's what is going to be implied here.

Mad props also go to Mr. Russell for not shooting the strikers. I think he's starting to have a change of heart with the robber baron tendencies.

All in all, GOOD EPISODE. MADE ME CRY. I LOVED IT. can't wait to see how the opening night will go lololol specially cuz Winterton doesn't know about Mr. Russell basically blackmailing the dude from the Met!! Ohohohohhooooo

[netherfeildren]

wait wait you like minari too? your taste is impecabble<3 just wondering, do you have any other favourite movies/recs?

sat on this bc I wanted to give a detailed response lolz I love minari so much I thought about youn yuh-jung's performance in that film for such a long time after watching it she was so gorgeous and so phenomenal and when she won the best supporting actress Oscar I about lost my damn mind, so so deserved

other things I love in no particular order:

-the favourite (I love Yorgos Lanthimos' work the lobster is another favorite and his new one coming out poor things looks AMAZING and like it was constructed specifically with all of my own personal tastes in mind - I'm so excited for it and need to read the book immediately)

-not to be a film bro but interstellar is top two of my favorite films of all times idc Nolan is a master and I watch and love everything he makes (ive watched tenet like 10 times and still have no idea wtf is going on and I LIKE THAT about it )

-not to be a basic bitch now but pride and prejudice is my favorite movie ever ever I watch it at least once a month every single month it'll never get old and yes I do cry at the end every time

-to go hand in hand with my love of historical romance novels I am also a great lover of period dramas obviously I love Emma (2020) so much it's a gorgeous work of art, Jane eyre (2011) I love Mia wasikowska, Marie Antoinette and anything else Sofia Coppola has ever made, Anna karenina (another Joe wright masterpiece)

-anything Wes Anderson but particularly Rushmore (1998) which is one of his lesser known films I feel like but it means a lot to me for various very personal reasons and I wish more people talked about it (I need to watch asteroid city immediately)

-PHANTOM THREAD greatest romcom of all time (jk hehe) but fuck Paul Thomas Anderson I don't like that dude

-everything guillermo del torro but particularly crimson peak (guillermo my man pls pls pls plsssssssss do Dracula and cast Adam driver I'll give u my first born plsssss splsssssss guillermo father pleaaassseeeeee!!!!)

-the green knight !!!!!!!!!!!! changed my brain when I watched it dev Patel is so fucking hot but also like it was just so gorgeous and such a wonderful adaptation and the monster fucker in me low key liked the green knight himself likeeeeeeee idk what to say I am the way I am

-Robert Eggers the light house, the man from uncle (I love most guy Richie films I love his high paced action and all that fun stuff), park chan-wook's STOKER !!!!!!!! I fucking love that film omg, everything Denise villeneuve too but particularly arrival is a goddamn masterpiece and it's so wrong that Amy Adams didn't win the Oscar for that (poor Amy with the no Oscar curse)

-for like comfort movies stepmom (1998) - devastating but I watch it all the time if I could live in any house from a movie ever it'd be Susan Sarandon's house in that movie, billy elliot (2000), 20th century women (2016), lady bird, funny girl - BARBARA !!!!!!!!!!!!!!, howl's moving castle, this is 40 (my favorite comedy ever), paterson (2016), uptown girls, the rocky horror picture show

-oh and more recently the banshees of inisherin moved me so incredibly deeply I actually recently got in an argument with someone who said that it was pointless and stupid and I was SO OFFENDED devastating funny introspective all the things I was very sad when Collin ferrel didn't win the academy award for it I thought he was so ... I don't know what the right word is I guess like changed? in the role of padraic and GOD BERRY KEOGHAN there goes that dream I cried so hard so beautiful Kerry Condon also they were all so spectacularly devastating in that film I could go on about it for days

sorry this was so long you guys know I love to run my mouth when given the opportunity hehe