#crying over all the moments that didnt make it to top 5

[cressthebest]

Crimson Rivers thoughts pt. 5

chapter 9:

1. OMG DID REMUS FORGET TO GO BACK TO HIS CELL WAIT HOLY SHIT THIS ISNT GONNA BE GOOD

2. oh good wait, remus left and came back

3. sirius’ first thought is to brush his teeth to kiss sirius 😭😭 he’s so me fr. i wouldn’t let my ex kiss me unless they brushed their teeth first. or had a mint. im so sensitive to smells

4. “He used to build things. Create things. And now he's lucky if he doesn't destroy what's already formed.” JESUS FUCK. THATS LITERALLY SO SAD WTF

5. 😭😭😭 sirius is literally amidst gay panic beyond your wildest comprehension and remus is just like ✨☺️😏🥱🩷🏳️‍🌈 “touch me”

BABES

6. “Remus hums. "Imagine how I feel. No one's touched me without causing me pain in five years."” NOOOO BABY

7. god, wolfstar deserves everything. the best wolfstar content i find is always in a fic that is centered on another ship. i could literally survive off wolfstar alone- no water, no food, no air

8. wolfstar calling each other beautiful>>>>>>>

9. 😬 what did sirius jsut say. i must be going crazy. cause there’s no way he just said he needed to brush his teeth

10. wolfstar deserves the world universe

11. reg is no longer a pathetic teen with a crush, he’s a pathetic adult with a crush

12. reg being grumpy even in his sleep <33333

13. james having a pathetic crush on reg while cuddling together is top tier

14. there really needs to be an emoji to accurately show the face i just made. it probably looks similar to this- 😀😟 what. there’s no way reg is about to tease james, just to get his old 14 year old self off

15. 😀😀 girl what is he doing. i-

16. how he became freinds with barty is so crimson rivers canon, i can’t even. like, i KNOW that it’s canon. but it’s also canon that bizzarestars was right about. no author mistakes in that piece

17. damn, reg is actually gonna go at it. i don’t know how james is gonna survive this and make it to the actual arena.

18. “James says his name like it's the only word that has meaning. His voice is rough, and Regulus' name is sloppy and desperate in his mouth, like a hail mary or a form of salvation.” CHRIST. I SAID I DIDNT KNOW HOW JAMES WOULD SURVIVE THIS, BUT HOW THE HELL DID REG SURVIVE THIS??

19. “Barty is a good lover, there's no denying that—but he'll be damned if James isn't just better.” 😟 shocked. omg. who would have guessed this would be reggie’s thoughts

20. “"Because you might die today," Regulus tells him bluntly, shrugging one shoulder as he stands up. "Consider it a parting gift. Now, get out."”

😧

they just fucked, and all reg can do is be like “yeah yeah, now get out horny bitch” no fucking way i just read that right i-

bitch that’s foul

21. “Regulus is a conundrum, honestly.” yes. that’s the word i’d use to describe him.

22. james: don’t tell sirius that reg and i just fucked. also james: “he’s in the shower”

bitch if you could be any more obvious

23. “Remus Lupin. If there's one good thing to come out of all this, it's him.” YES YES YES ABSOLUTELY! REMUS IS THE GOOD IN THIS

24. “”James, I am so grateful to know you, and so sorry that I had to. Every name that I call is a name I wish I never learned. Yours—you—will remain etched into my heart forever."” BITCH I CANT CRY OVER THIS- MY EYE MAKEUP LOOKS TOO GOOD TODAY TO CRY

25. “"I'll see you again soon, Regulus."” BITCH WTF THAT HURTS EVEN MORE THAN JAMES’ GOODBYE

26. maybe it’s been too long since i’ve read the books, BUT this fic seems to capture the absolute tragedy and horrors of it before it even starts even more

27. christ, not reg saying the “i don’t want to go” that hurts. like holy fuck. he’s still just a scared child. don’t put him in that arena

28. god, the way the death of james feels like sirius dying too. and sirius deciding that once james is dead, sirius will be too

how the hell is this people’s comfort fic???

29. not sirius having a lapse of memory and losing his memory of his last moments with james. that shit hurts

30. fabian <3333

31. 😧 wait fabian is dead. they just shot him. holy shit

32. gideon <3333

33. wait gideon is dead too.

y’all. i just-

this whole chapter was a fucking rollercoaster.

[jealousmartini]

HAPPY MARCH🥳

`☆ ⋆ ｡ It's the beginning of a new month! ｡ ꕤ~ .

Quick confession. I didn't start the year the way I promised myself I would as a master manifester, a shifter and an art studentin college😭 plus today's the last day of my 2nd project and I will just say.. I didn't prioritise my time as well as I should have. So I'm not gonna let myself cry over wasted time along side incomplete work and lock in🤞🏽

But anyway I want to share my plan for this month. I am going to keep on top of:

☆ Journaling, Scripting and Vaulting

In my introduction, I said I would introduce myself as I would in my better current reality and really embody my drself. I'll be honest, the closest I have been to embodying my drself was daydreaming being my drself🧍🏿‍♀️ So I want to change that once and for all. I am sick of wishing I was her instead of realising I literally am her ffs.

So, I think vaulting as I am my drself and tracking my manifestation journey is an awesome way for successful embodiment. Because essentially when I am vaulting about my (dr)self, I am just affirming to myself about who I am by saying "I am this" or "I love having that" or maybe "my blah blah blah is so cute" and "I am so grateful that xyz".

☆ Practicing entering the void

Okay so I already understand that the void is nothing special (to me at least). The only reason why people think its special is because of the fact that you instantly recieve your desires once youve affirmed them when in the void (please for the love of god dont think you cant manifest instantly outside of the void. It is just a tool). It is literally just a deep meditative state. You are literally just meditating. It's the stillness state. The state of just being. Your I am-ness. So now that I have taken the void off the pedestal, I feel like I can enter the void anytime I try now and I will this march.

☆ Persistance/Loyalty to the new story

Something I've struggled with is persistance to my manifestations simply because of what I see in the 3D. Even when i've persistantly affirmed to myself for something not to happen or to get something, sometimes the opposit happens and I'll get what i didnt want.. but im content with it because it actually turned out alright, and I'll just settle for that. But whats really interesting is that Ive learned to always stay neutral to it anyway. I understand that nothing in the 3D has any meaning whatsoever. The the 3D is neutral and circumstances literally don't matter. Only I have power of the 3D and nothing in the 3D can have power unless I let it. And this applies to who i choose to identify as. Do i identify as someone who doesnt quite have everything she wants or do i identify as someone with everything i could ever want. So usually if I see something i don't like I'll just shake it off. Which brings me to

☆ Revision

Ive been in the loa community for 5 years and I learnt about revision 2 years ago through a revise your past subliminal. I didn't even know you could actually rewrite your past so this kind of opened me to really understanding the law of assumption applies to everything.

Since then I've been using revision subliminals here and there to revise certain scenarios and whatever, but I haven't really been using revision to its true potential. As I have learnt I can change the past, I will be vaulting/scripting my desired past through different eras of my life that I've already lived. So stuff like what highschool I went to and how I did in it, erasing unfavourable moments and replacing them with something better suited to me to align myself with my actual (dr)self

☆ Using general blanket affirmations and making specific affirmations that resonate with me to rewire my mindset and self concept

I already do this but 1. I don't do it as much as I'd like to and 2. I am altering the way I think about myself and everything in general. So I guess the way I used to affirm kind of felt robotic, forced and fake. So I figured I will use the generalised blanket affirmations I actually like to use and not the ones I'm told to use that I don't connect with, as well as make my own affirmations personalised to what I identify as and embody. This brings me to my next topic.

☆ Subliminals

Okay so I saw this post from another loa blogger talking about subliminals and they said that changing the reason why you use subliminals can really improve your manifestation journey. So instead of using subliminals to get something, use them to remind yourself you already have it. Use them to help you persist in in the fact that you are the version of yourself who HAS 1 million pounds or that you HAVE your dream life. Use them to REMIND yourself, you are already the version of you who has it. This goes for ANY and ALL subliminals by the way. Use your desired subliminals to repeat back what you identify as guys!

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──────

MARCH IS MINE YOU GUYS DONT EVEN UNDERSTAND

Anyways Ciao!!😘

Im so shy to tag but wtv!: @urimaginarygirlfriend @realistically-shifting @4ellieluv @faeriemarie

[youngpettyqueen]

Top five Houlihawk moments?

—No GFA Anon

oh thats an interesting one. alright again, in no particular order-

5. the entirety of Comrades in Arms but specifically when they make up at the end- "Thank you, Hank." "Thank you, Darlene." excuse me while I go insane

4. Hepatitis, the scene between them in her tent. first of all just Hawkeye immediately losing it over seeing Margaret's ass, but then using what she says to him- all she wants is simple respect- and telling her to use that on Donald's mother. its such a sweet scene, I love when he calls her magnificent <3

3. Bug Out and im also gonna include CAVE here for the same reason of them being in camp together comforting each other through being behind the line. Hawkeye telling Margaret he'll protect her so sincerely lives rent free in my head at all times are you kidding. and Margaret is so sweet with him in CAVE, and he's sweet with her, just... theyre so protective I love them

2. Images, that moment when Hawkeye follows her into her tent and she breaks down crying over the dog that was killed and he just walks up and hugs her. its such a small moment, but it says so much that he just goes for the hug and she lets him

their flashback scene in Where There's a Will, There's a War. theyre so in love in that scene ok. the way she's making jokes and being so openly and happily SILLY and he's just laughing himself sick while she laughs her way through her own jokes, they just keep feeding into each other and enabling it. its genuinely one of my favourite scenes in the entire series, its just... perfect. theyre absolutely dating there I dont make the rules

Honourable mentions-

Peace on Us when Hawkeye stops dead in his tracks in his own rage and goes to comfort Margaret when she tells him Donald ran out on her, but he's also furious on her behalf

30 second GFA kiss literally cheered so loud when that happened. anon if you havent looked up that scene please do its exactly what they deserved

the background acting theyre doing in April Fool's in Potter's office where he's got his boot in her face gesturing at it with that 'are you proud of yourself?' look while she plays innocent as if she didnt stick oatmeal in his boots (I think theyre dating in that episode)

the entirety of Carry On, Hawkeye oh my goooooooood oh my god

[meikostan]

OK finally watching oshi no ko anime, it turns out all i needed was to go outside for like an hour and im normal again

my thoughts under the cut (writing as i watch) (long) (lots of thoughts) (beautiful and true?) (manga reader) (don't read if anime only) (spoilers) (seriously) (i talk alot) (lots of thoughts)

at this point i've reread oshi no ko enough times that even if i didnt already know japanese i could probably make it without the subs SDJLF but its so cool to see lines and panels that im so familiar with brought to life!! i also liked goro's death scene, especially the way they used static and cut between shots. i keep on pulling out my physical copies of onk (well mostly vol 1) and pointing at my screen and the corresponding part of the book like

2. AIIIII little known fact about me is that ai is genuinely my favorite character... WHICH SUCKS BECAUSE SHE DIES IN THE FIRST VOLUME. seriously we only ever get to see her after this when a. her name or demeanor is invoked by another character b. aqua has his numerous mental breakdowns or c. flashbacks (including but not limited to aqua's mental breakdowns). i am always down for ai content!!!

3. its so much easier to ignore the weird vaguely sexual stuff from their babyhood because i know the rest of the series is normal and cool and not into that sort of stuff👍

4. speaking of normal yayayay it's aqua back when he was actually normal and not "normal" :D like he is just a baby. do you think now that oshi no ko is popular people will get into internet arguments about whether you can ethically have aqua as your favorite character post-normalification. actually wait this may already have been happening in the dark depths of some discord server out there.. but i dont use discord so im blissfully unaware

5. OH i dont think ive seen all of the OG b komachi before? or at least not in high detail. epic!

6. infant ruby telling people on the internet "kys" before age 2... truly a model twitter user

7. not gonna lie i havent really ever liked the way babies are drawn here (including manga)... idk their heads just look way too big like adult heads drawn on toddler bodies then ""cutified"". but this is a personal gripe

8. do you think because of infantile amnesia the twins forgot about the whole pretending to be amaterasu moment. do you think miyako still remembers. can you imagine being the foster mother of two kids who you believe to be gods sent to earth. do you think she remembers that she was "charged by the gods with keeping ai's secret" and then aqua. you know.

9. imagine: you married the ceo of a mid production company because you want to date hot men. there are no hot men in sight. you have to watch over one of the idol's twin infant babies. they reveal to you that they are divine messengers of god and also they can speak normally. there are no hot men in sight. you tend to their every need because you don't want divine retribution. you explain the intricacies of the idol industry in detail every couple of days when they complain about the injustices of the world. there are no hot men in sight. you become their foster mom after they witness the traumatic death of their mother, whose secrets you where charged with keeping safe. at least 12 years pass. they never mention any of this again. you manage the idol group one of them is in. there are still no hot men in sight. your name is miyako. every day you wake up.

10. i like how gotanda gives his business card to a toddler. whats he gonna do, call you on his fisher price dial phone? well actually nevermind aqua is probably the only other toddler (alongside ruby) who could make use of a business card

11. KANAA LETS FUCKING GOOOOO but also nothing will ever top 'lick a lying snitch/flick a crying switch'...... nothing ever... :( also taking the opportunity now to say ive always found it hilarious she assumed 'aqua' is his stage name and not his actual legal name, that's how ridiculous it is DSKLFJ

12. sobbing at the ruby ai dance... dont even have that many words i just really like it.. do you guys think ai was thinking about her own mom [& abuse/lack of relationship thereof]? not even just in this scene but in her more serious moments when she's thinking about her kids it's like "i want to make millions so they can go to the nicest schools and have the nicest things" "i want my daughter to dance freely and happily and i will support her in this" which ig can also be excused as 'thats just what a normal parent wants' but idk i like taking into consideration her own past and lack of parental support when looking at the way she tries to raise her children (not that she exactly got a chance to, even while still alive)

13. also i realized at this point that ep 1 is like an hour long not just because of the whole 'we gotta make sure no one drops this before the reveal that shows what this story's actually gonna be about', but also because it would be kinda awkward to have cut any of these scenes out? or not like out completely but like from each other. like if we had ended ep 1 at for example where they do their silly baby dance and go twitter viral (chapter 5 aka the midpoint of vol 1). that wouldve been terrible. but we can't cut it any earlier, or any later. ai's death feels like the natural conclusion to this problem. also i can't really see much of the other sections being stretched out to fit a full episode length being done very well. having ep 1 be a full 90 minutes lets them be as long as they need to be, aka a 1:1 adaptation of the manga.

14. oh boy chapter 9 time

15. i don't have anything to say about ai's outlook that has not already been said but this is the scene that made her my favorite character. not being able to tell at what point your lies become reality.. not really knowing if you've ever loved or been loved truly because your entire concept of 'love' was based off insincerity necessary for survival.. and now not ever being given the chance to explore what 'real love' means to you. FUCK

16. aww i love all these little family moments they added! very cute ^_^

17. yayy go kids get traumatized ^_^ also for some reason i remember the stalker as having really light hair o-0 fascinating. i remembered his name though!! just like ai fr

18. speaking of hair i also did not realize saitou was blond i thought he had brown hair..

19. hey the bandana (? i forget the word) guy holding the ai fan sign during the news montage is from one of the intros to the vol 1 chapters where hes like 'oh yeah i wonder where those dancing babies are now'!

20. another part of that montage shows a house with a wii in it, which came out november 19 2006. characters are shown using twitter which started earlier that same year; it was a pretty popular website even in 2008, but the mobile app only became a thing in like 2010. i'm seeing a mix of flip phones and smart phones so this has gotta take place sometime around 2010. it's kinda difficult to tell exactly what age the twins are in the main story because like the first page of vol 2 has ruby listing her age as 14, but - and the proof is not at my finger tips rn - i swear to god they're like 16 at this point. i have legitimate reasons to believe this but i need to grab exact proof adding to that we also have 15 years of lies, which if im remembering right would be referring to the twins age? i was trying to logic out exactly what year oshi no ko takes place in even though i already know the answer is 'in the modern day' but anyway yeah i'll just finish my episode and move on

21. THE IPHONE RUBY IS HOLDNIG HAS A HEADPHONE JACK. i want so badly to say that's an iphone 4 but there's like a separation between that and the power button. i also dont have an iphone 4 with me so i cant check it irl :( but anyway the iphone 4 was released in 2010, meaning the evidence is piling up for this part of the story taking place some time around 2010. or maybe i'm looking too deeply into this and should go back to actually watching the episode.

22. this is reminding me i was gonna write a fic specifically about this time period where the twins go to therapy and have to adjust to life without ai, having miyako graduate from fake mom to actual mom, aqua faking being fully recovered from the incident so he'd be released from therapy (fic concept was inspired from him stating this in like vol 6), etc. i never did because i spent like 3 hours researching play therapy and never got anywhere with it.. but maybe...

23. THE KIDS HAVING TO WATCH HER FUNERAL THROUGH THE FUCKING CAR WINDOW... I'M GOING TO KILL MYSELF

24. YESS AQUA NORMALIFICATION COMPLETE

25. AM I INSANE OR IS THAT AKANE? HER HAIR COLOR IS THE SAME BUT IT'S SO SHORT

26. MEM!!!!

27. AHHH POST CREDITS AI MAKING HER VIDEO FOR THE TWINS "i don't think i'll still be an idol by then" YEAH BUT AT WHAT COST 😭

FINAL THOUGHTS: i liked it alot ^_^ i dont really watch that much anime anymore (not that i watched an incredible amount before, but i am familiar with it) but i really liked this. i think they did a very good job of adapting the first volume! i know the rest of the episodes will be not-film length which does make me a bit sad because i think it would work out well, or at least not badly, if they were. it does also make me really excited for the future, seriously i will actually explode when i see the theater arc in full. cannot wait to see aqua mental breakdowns and ruby evil arc and and and and

the only thing i would've liked is if they could somehow have found a way to incorporate the pre-chapter intro scenes from the manga where they're talking about 15 years of lies, interviews with their pre-school teacher, etc. though both the pre-school teacher and the aforementioned bandana guy appear which may have been their way of doing it? like adding a fun detail for obsessives like myself to point at like 'my god it's those guys from exactly 2 panels in the manga'

tumblr ate my post and erased everything up to #2 while i was writing it and i was about to flip but it turns out that it automatically saves posts while youre writing them now and it was in my drafts safe and sound soooo crisis averted ^_^ anyway those were my thoughts on ep 1

[mothmanismyuncle]

I posted 20,403 times in 2022

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I tagged 1,424 of my posts in 2022

#geraskier - 56 posts

#the witcher - 48 posts

#jaskier - 44 posts

#geralt - 33 posts

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Longest Tag: 137 characters

#like everybody gotta quit gatekeeping. i. a gay man. would rather have 10000 ‘straight women’ ‘’fetishise’’ me than 1 person feel unloved

I sent 1 gift in 2022

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

i hope im never behind the wheel if i see this shit in the wild bc i blacked out ugly laughing

24 notes - Posted September 7, 2022

#4

modern au. geraskier, established relationship. just a little comfort for the bard boy after a miserable day at work.

xoxoxo!!!

❦

geralt looked up from his book when he heard the door click shut and his husband peel off a soaked jacket. shoes were kicked; a bag was dropped; still, jaskier said nothing.

usually, geralt starts hearing his husband’s car radio from the moment it enters their neighbourhood. the quiet is alarming, to say the least, so geralt turns his book over and lays it on the couch, putting his reading glasses on his head.

“jaskier?” he calls trotting into the laundry room, where jaskier is shucking off his sodden work uniform.

“hello, love,” he replies huskily. “it’s raining.”

“it is,” geralt agrees. he turns the dryer back on, peering at the load of towels bouncing around. “why don’t you take a nice shower? warm you up,”

“‘kay,” jaskier acquiesced, slinking into the bathroom. geralt frowned after him.

typically, getting jaskier to shower right after work takes some cajoling, several bribes on both sides, all that.

today, the water turns on without any music to cover the sound, and geralt hears jaskier snuffle to himself before a small, broken sound escapes.

he won’t walk in on his husband crying. he won’t embarrass him when he waited until the shower was on and put on a face for geralt in the laundry room.

that’s what geralt chanted to himself, anyway, while he heaped blankets up on the bed and jogged back into the kitchen.

he took a small container out of the cabinet and double checked the instructions. only a bit of water and a minute in the microwave, and jaskier would have a sweet treat waiting for him in the nest geralt was building.

he gathered some water bottles, a sandwich, and jaskier’s favourite of geralt’s tee shirts that geralt thankfully had to save from the hamper. jaskier didn’t have geralt’s nose, but he could still scent his husband and it tended to calm him down plenty.

til his dying breath, geralt would deny that he rolled around on the nest blankets to make it warm and smell like him, but it was the quickest way and without music or the promise of geralt joining him, jaskier could be done in moments.

when geralt was satisfied that the clean blankets smelled a little more like home, he went to get a warm towel out of the dryer and swaddle his husband up for a trip to the nest.

he found jaskier sitting on the floor, arms wrapped around his knees.

he couldnt say anything that didnt feel too trite, too simple, too shallow, for what that image made his heart do in his chest. he simply got undressed and sat down next to him.

“bad day,” jaskier breathed. geralt, with soft hands and a softer heart, took the spray from the wall and began to wash jaskier’s hair.

jaskier began to cry again, but this time quietly. jaskier hated it when he cried, hated how much he cried, so geralt merely began humming for him while he threaded his fingers through auburn locks to remove the soap.

“i’m an artist, aren’t i?” jaskier finally asked.

“of course,” geralt said, cupping jaskier’s cheek to get him to look him in the eye. “of course you are. one of the best i’ve ever known.”

“i… geralt, i’m working at a fast food joint. i’m getting sandwiches thrown at me by customers, i’m getting barked at by my boss. i haven’t composed in almost a week.”

“you don’t have to always be writing to be an artist,” geralt said, sitting back on his haunches. “am i a witcher?”

“of course,”

“right now? when i’m sitting in the shower with you?”

“… quit it,” jaskier replied, cottoning on to geralt’s meaning and pushing his little head into geralt’s chest.

“i’m a witcher when i wake, and when i go to sleep, and every second in between.”

“that’s different,” jaskier mumbled as best he could with the hot water pouring down the back of his neck. geralt only held him, rocking him back and forth ever so slightly.

See the full post

26 notes - Posted June 20, 2022

#3

no need to measure for curtains, he said

they’ll surely be fine, he said

no way in hell they’ll turn out to be some kinda cock-height peep show for the entire main street of your hometown, he also said, strangely specific and also even stranger, wrong

29 notes - Posted March 13, 2022

#2

For the hurt comfort list? "you are what's important right now" with whoever you like. Thanks!

jaskier could’ve blinked and missed it. he almost wished he had; on one hand, he was on his feet before geralt even hit the ground.

on the other, the image of the kikimore’s leg bursting through his boyfriend wouldn’t stop replaying every time he closed his eyes.

his badass boyfriend that lopped its head off right after, mind, but still.

“don’t move!” jaskier chided again, handing geralt his water. “i’m right here, love. i’m ready and willing.”

“i just wanted a drink,” geralt pouted. well, okay. less of a physical, facial, or vocal pout and more of a slight tightness around the eyes, but this was jaskier. he knew geralt better than geralt knew geralt.

“and i just want you to get back to feeling better.” he countered.

“you can’t sit here and hand me my water all night, jaskier. you have an audience downstairs and you’ll get bored.”

“none of those people matter to me. you are what’s important to me right now.” jaskier replied, folding himself into his witcher’s side gently. “besides, i can think of a few ways to entertain ourselves.”

“i thought you didnt want me to move.”

“for this, you won’t have to.” jaskier said, waggling his eyebrows. “tell me a story?”

geralt burst into surprised laughter before he winced, clutching his chest.

“okay, okay. what do you want to hear?”

jaskier wrapped his arms around geralt, snuggling in close. he could hear the thud of geralt’s heart and feel him breathing, and honestly? that was enough for a simple bard like himself.

“anything, love.” geralt held him with his good arm, resting his cheek on top of jaskier’s head. “anything you’d like.”

71 notes - Posted July 18, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

jaskier whumpers be like

609 notes - Posted October 27, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[honeyblve]

i had a huge milestone happen yesterday in my health journey and i wanted to vent and document it for myself, kind of like a journal entry, because this is the end of a chapter and beginning of another for me. its kind of a selfish post that nobody else will probably care about but i think it will be nice to have to look back on. im not sure if adding trigger warnings to this post is needed but im going to add them just incase anyone takes the time to read this if you do read this i appreciate it sm.

tw: injury, mistreatment from doctors, mental health issues, su*cide

for the past year ive been dealing with a serious back injury that has wreaked havoc on my life. i had to quit my job and was basically bed ridden for months. its effected my mental, emotional, and physical wellbeing in such a horrible and traumatic way. i've seen numerous doctors and tried multiple types of possible solutions with no resolve in my pain, been rejected by a doctor for surgery due to my body type (dont even get me started on that bs. it was fully a him problem and not a me problem), and essentially lost all quality of life. at one point i was so exhausted and overstimulated from all the pain that i didnt see any point in living if the rest of my life was going to be consumed with an unimaginable and unbearable amount of pain. i spent many nights crying myself to sleep, feeling very isolated and alone, taking insane amounts of medicine for a small amount of relief, unable to rest due to pain, and missed out on some very important moments in my life and others around me lives as well. i graduated college earlier this year after 5 years of working full time, going to college full time, and dealing with health issues on top of it and was unable to walk across the stage and celebrate my hard work all because of this injury. i bottled up a lot of the stress and sadness i was experiencing because i didnt want to add another thing on to the list of problems to figure out for myself or my family. which in turn caused me to start having major issues with anxiety and depression. a year in my life that was meant for growth, transition, and finding my footing as a proper adult was completely overtaken. to say it was a hard year is such an understatement but truly the only way i can really put it.

yesterday, i saw a new specialist and was finally approved for surgery after being turned down by another specialist back in september ‘22. a surgery that takes 45 minutes and will almost instantly relieve any pain im experiencing. a surgery that i was told would usually be suggested 6 weeks into experiencing symptoms a year and two months after i started experiencing symptoms. for the first time i was shown my mri results that i had done 9 months ago and explained just how severe the injury in my back is. my jaw was on the floor at how horrible it was. i could finally understand what was happening inside my body. it helped my brain justify everything that ive been experiencing and proved to myself that i wasnt crazy. when i was asked if i wanted to move forward with the surgery it was the first time that i felt like i wasnt just being observed and passed along for someone else to make the decision for me. i finally felt like i was given the opportunity to speak for myself and make a decision for my own body. i wasnt seen based only on my outer appearance or a number on a scale. i was seen as a human being who is experiencing pain 24/7 for over 400 days and needed help. finally my advocacy for myself worked and a doctor is on my side. when he left the room i immediately started sobbing and felt like i could breathe for the first time in what felt like forever.

looking back i think in many ways this year was meant for internal growth. there were a lot of things i had to learn about myself and begin to change. either through therapy or by opening up to family and friends. so even though it was not necessarily growth in the literal world, i grew up a lot within myself. for some reason in all of my circumstances i always feel the need to learn something. maybe its just blind optimism. whatever it is though it helps me put one foot in front of the other. what i learned through all of this is valuing myself and knowing my self worth. i learned how to advocate for myself and not take no for an answer. i learned how strong i am in multiple areas of my life. but i also learned how to accept help and know that i cant do everything by myself. and that doesnt mean that i'm weak.

if anyone reads this i hope that you know its so important to learn to advocate for your wellbeing and dont allow anyone to mistreat you, use you, or demand that you meet their expectations before being treated as a human being. its okay to take a step back and take care of yourself. and when it comes to doctors and medicine, trust. your. body. it knows when something is wrong. doctors are just people and sometimes dont know wtf theyre talking about. they are not all-knowing deities. they dont live in your body. not agreeing with them is not against the law. it is okay to seek out care from someone else. and if you feel stuck with someone who is not listening to you or who doesnt see you as a human being, there are doctors out there that truly love what they do and want to help you. they dont see you as a statistic or a box to check off on a long list of things to do for the day. they truly want to see you thrive and be healthy. sometimes it just takes a little work to find them.

anyways this was much longer than i expected it to be. if you read this far down i am so grateful that you took some time to read this post. it means a lot. and if future me reads this, i hope i've continued to learn how to value myself in all circumstances and not take any of lifes bs.

[kiiiiiim]

I posted 6,938 times in 2022

369 posts created (5%)

6,569 posts reblogged (95%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@ostropest

@lesbeanactivity

@elytrians

@midnightdreamerposts

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I tagged 4,677 of my posts in 2022

Only 33% of my posts had no tags

#supergirl - 558 posts

#katie mcgrath - 527 posts

#supercorp - 326 posts

#365days - 130 posts

#spotify - 102 posts

#it me - 99 posts

#uquiz - 98 posts

#text post - 94 posts

#a league of their own - 89 posts

#aloto - 83 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#or nia hugging kara on the ship and being all 🥺 i missed you so much i love you but where the hell are your bangs dreamer didnt dream this

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Hi! Are you still doing that 5 sentences prompt thing? 🙂

I'd like to suggest supercorp + puddle

(These sentences are so long and I cheated with excessive commas but this was fun anyway here you go first writing challenge of 2022 yayyyy)

She hears a shriek from outside, shrill and high-pitched, like a seagull's cry carried on the wind - her drink steams lazily in the intimate dusk of their usual coffeehouse; across the table, a second cup of something overly sweet and loaded with calories sits half-finished, whipped cream topping rapidly deflating in the handmade glazed ceramic mug - Kara said she'd only be a minute, some minor accident half a block away she'd wanted to check in on and Lena had waved her away with a smile, go on, I've got some light reading to catch up on, yes I will order another sprinkled donut for the table for when you get back, love. Another scream pierces the air and Lena's eyes dart around the immediate area looking for its source, the first syllable of her girlfriend's alter ego already on her lips when she swivels her head towards the window and stops mid-word - there she is - Supergirl, Kara, in the middle of the street standing next to a blown fire hydrant that definitely had been in perfect working order five minutes earlier on this sweltering summer day, a thick jet of water shooting up into the air like National City's own miniature Old Faithful - a herd of small children dancing around her in the falling mist. Kara's suit is drenched, hair plastered to her cheeks and neck, but her smile is a mile wide as she chases the kids in circles, makes an exaggerated jump, and bright red boots send a puddle of ice cold water spraying those unfortunate (or fortunate depending on who you asked) enough to be caught in the splash zone. She throws her head back in a fit of laughter, so full of life and happiness and pure joy that it makes Lena's heart swell with a wave of love that feels as if it might burst at any moment. She cups her jawline with one hand and rests an elbow on the table, coffee and tablet completely forgotten - work can wait, she thinks, and watches her beautifully glowing puddle jumper instead.

108 notes - Posted January 29, 2022

#4

I'm rewatching The Good Place and a criminally underrated moment for me is when Michael gives Jeff the frog thermos and Jeff's face just lights up because... FROG. THAT'S A FROG. LOOK AT THAT GREEN FROG HE'S A JUMPER YOU CAN TELL. And it's such a small gesture but it made someone so happy and yes I know this is fiction but God small acts of kindness really just do it for me it's all about the act the thought the selflessness give someone a frog today please I assure you won't regret it.

167 notes - Posted January 12, 2022

#3

220 notes - Posted February 20, 2022

#2

For the ship and prompt 5 sentence fic: Supercorp + travel :)

You said 5 paragraphs right?

Kara flies her to the ends of the Earth every night that first month.

They dine on the very best dishes in every bustling city from Metropolis to Madrid, watch the sun rise over the rolling hills of Dublin and set under the Caribbean's diamond-scattered horizon. She takes her deep into uncharted lands, virgin and untouched by humanity until their bodies christen the ground with first footsteps, picking stones and pebbles as they walk hidden beaches away from prying eyes, laying on their backs atop ancient ruins together, rough with weather-worn edges and divits that brand Lena's soft human skin as they talk about nothing and everything. Kara flies her above the clouds only to descend into a storm, and Lena learns the taste of warm rainwater on Kara's skin as their clothes soak through in seconds. Argo is lovely and perfect, and when Allura pulls her aside to whisper, you make her so happy, Lena is not ashamed to cry in her arms and reply, I have never been so happy in all my life, all I want is to make her feel that way too.

Kara smiles and tilts her head one night, after everything has gone quiet and they both can rest, so, where do you wanna go now? Lena slowly steps into her arms, brushes both thumbs across the apples of her cheeks, buries her fingers in blonde-streaked hair and rests her forehead against hers, warm breath mingling together in a dizzying haze. Lena murmurs, smiles when Kara's fingertips tremble on the nape of her neck,

"Here."

Afterwards, Kara hovers atop her body, sweetly kisses her down from on high, whispers gently, "I want to give you everything, be everything you never had. I want you to know how loved you are, Lena. I want... I want to take you to worlds you've never known."

And Lena pulls her down, wraps her arms around sweat-slicked skin, nuzzles into Kara's neck until she finds the sensitive patch just below her ear, kisses and kitten licks until all the breath leaves Kara's lungs in a strangled exhale.

Lena smiles. "Oh, Kara," she says, "You already have."

255 notes - Posted February 24, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

557 notes - Posted February 18, 2022

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[cherry-toxic]

I posted 4,695 times in 2022

78 posts created (2%)

4,617 posts reblogged (98%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@backwardshirt

@wickedlydevious

@mayweallbehuman

@shadowthorne

@puraiuddo

I tagged 1,626 of my posts in 2022

#grimmjow - 211 posts

#animal tag - 211 posts

#grimmichi - 109 posts

#bleach - 106 posts

#harringrove - 94 posts

#billy hargrove - 71 posts

#art - 69 posts

#wanderlust - 56 posts

#stranger things spoilers - 51 posts

#max and billy - 44 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#but am i the only one thinking its more weird to plan marriage and spending the rest of your life with some1 youve only dated for 5 months

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Rule: tag 9 people you want to know better

Thanks for the tag @sarcasm-vending-machine 😘

(I started a new post because that one was getting a bit long)

Favourite piece of clothing you own? Right now it's my blue wool 'hippy' trousers, they are SO comfortable. I've only had them for about a month but I've worn them almost every day.

Your comfort food? Probably pizza. I go on and off different types of food all the time but pizza is a pretty consistent like

Favourite time of the year? Late spring and summer. I get cold very easily, my hands and feet are like ice most days so I need warm weather to be comfortable

Favourite song? This is a mean question how am I supposed to answer this??? (I'll give you jólanótt by SKÁLD and shit boat (no fans) by alestorm, two very different songs which I've been listening to a lot lately)

Do you collect something? Not really, I'm just a clutter bitch

Favourite drink? Coca cola. Yes yes I know it's full of sugar and terribly bad for you but I love it

Favourite fanfiction? Again how am I supposed to answer this??? I dont think I could even give you a top ten theres just too many that I've loved over the years

75 notes - Posted January 2, 2022

#4

Sometimes I just think about how ichigo and grimmjow both have/had five friends/companions who they fought/travelled together with but ichigo's friends vowed to grow stronger so they could fight along side him as equals where as grimmjow's fraccion gave up the possibility of growing stronger in order to support his growth

84 notes - Posted January 26, 2022

#3

See the full post

102 notes - Posted February 13, 2022

#2

So, about max and her monologue about billy, it's not that I dont believe max could feel such a way or that it doesnt make sense (honestly I would be a liar if I said I haven't also wished my shitty brother dead before) but it also feels a little off to me considering how their relationship was presented in s3.

At first I thought maybe i had misinterpreted it, maybe max and billy really did hate each other right up until the moment of his death. But then i remembered this interview with sadie sink from 2019 where she spoke about max and billy going into s3

I didnt expect them to be best friends or even particulary close with each other (and I had a strong feeling billy was gonna die anyway) but I remember feeling hopeful when I read this interview, hopeful that we'd at least get to see a different side to their relationship, and I was massively disappointed when s3 barely focused on them at all.

But, the small glimpses that we did see proved that they were in a different place than they had been in s2

When max talked to el about billy she spoke in a lighthearted manner, she wasnt resentful, she made jokes, she talked about him like he was just her annoying gross older brother who liked to walk around without a shirt on and bring girls home to make 'happy screams'

And then, of course, theres the sauna test. She was visibly distressed upon seeing Billy in that state. She was in pain. She started crying. She said, "it's okay... i believe you... we're going to figure this out together okay" like she actually wanted to help him, save him...

And thats why it feels weird to me. Not because feelings are complicated and that a few peaceful months between them dont erase everything he put her through, but because she apparently went from we'll figure this out together to I dont know if he deserved to be saved in the space of three days.

And when I say it feels weird, I think what I mean is ffs a little consistency would be nice

159 notes - Posted July 5, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

See the full post

185 notes - Posted January 16, 2022

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[princeofvelvet]

Hi..If you don't mind me asking, what are your top 5 favorite moments from MDZS novel? And why? Sorry if you've answered this question before.....

Sorry for the wait! There are soso many great moments in this novel, it's hard to pick just five!!

The prologue. I can't think of a better opening for a book than killing off your main character through dialogue. We learn so much on the very first line alone: the fact that wei wuxian is dead isn't just news, it's GREAT news. Already we learn that he's famous and many people wanted him dead! Not to mention the prologue ties so well with the novel's themes, in my opinion. The fact that our introduction to our main character is through rumors and gossip, and that the author will then go on to spend the entire novel telling you the other side of the story! As if to let you know right off the bat be careful not to believe everything you hear!!

The pledge conference at nightless city and the second siege at the burial mounds. Cheating? Cheating! But I think it's worth looking at them side by side. We essentially get two "the Apology of Wei Wuxian"s, with him defending himself against accusations and slander. The first time, he's rightfully enraged that him and his family were scapegoated. He's calling out hypocrisy. The second time, he's tired. He's resigned himself to the fact that there's no changing the mind of a crowd that's already decided youre irredeemable trash. So he defends himself, apologizes for his wrongdoings, and argues against false accusations, but the doesn't really "fight back" this time around. He isn't trying to convince anyone, just clear his name.

The confession! Everything everything everything about this is amazing. The drunk dry (wet?) humping that happens right before, wwx's regret, jgy stopping everything at the temple to be like wait why arent you with lwj, lxc getting mad at wwx for playing with his brother's feelings!!, jgy threatening wwx to trap lwj!!!!, AND WWX CONFESSING HE WANTED TO SLEEP WITH LWJ AND THE CONFESSION AND- man, okay. I dont really read slow burn, so by this point i was beyond burnt and reduced to ashes and this scene alone phoenix'd me back to life.

Yi City! MXTX really went a gave us a full tragedy in the middle of an epic romance + political novel huh. Like "oh jsyk! I'm Actually this good." like damn. you are!! Im counting it as a "moment" despite the fact that it takes up several chapters because most of it happens in Empathy, but the moments that don't are so good also!! The echoes of the past in Yi City of the present, chilling! The juniors being good lil ducklings learning from WWX, WWX in this arc was SO hot. I can't pour all my yi city thoughts here because this would get long so i leave you with another parallel of the bigger story in that the first information we get about it is through word of mouth, from people who weren't there, and only later start getting the pieces to the other side of the story.

The ending! God, okay. "From then on he was never able to look away" are you KIDDING me, you didn't have to kill me this hard but you slaughtered me, mxtx. What an ending! What a perfect way to succintly express how much LWJ loves his husband and that they'll be together for the rest of their lives! It's so earned, and so good. Bonus: The "original" ending (the one mxtx ended up scraping) "on and on the WangXian melody drifts; the song ceases yet the figures persist" there's no faster way to bring tears to my eyes. And while I adore the ending MXTX ended up choosing, this one hits different. One says "happy ending!" the other one is like "their story is not over", and I love them both to death.

[theswarmanthology]

Salla, 26, Helsinki, Finland

"i consider myself a part of the overall mcr tumblr community. i haven't really made an effort to form deeper friendships inside the fandom yet but i start every day scrolling the dash like reading the morning newspaper just like everyone else and i mostly contribute by frank-posting in the tags section."

Fast Facts: How long have you been a fan?: 3-5 years Did you get to see MCR live before this tour?: No, this tour was my first time seeing MCR How many shows on this tour did you attend in total?: 2-4 Favorite album: Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge Show experience out of 10: 10 Did you cry at your show?: Yes

Which date of the tour did you attend? 06/14/22, Gröna Lund, Stockholm, Sweden

When did you get your tickets for your show? Was it a struggle, or were they easy to grab? for this show it was easy because the venue was an amusement park and there were unlimited season concert passes that grant you access until the park's at capacity. i got mine a couple days prior to the show and my friend got hers on our way there from the airport.

Did you attend with anyone else? i went with my best friend of 10+ years who's part of the reason i got big into mcr

Did you camp out? Yes

If you camped out, how was that experience? Was it worth it? it was worth it in the end. overall it wasn't a bad experience just a little disorganised when it comes to the number system. venue security were lovely though.

What did you wear? skinny jeans and a mesh long sleeve with a fluffy top on top and a beret all in black obviously

Where were your seats? pit, 2nd/3rd row, frank's side

What was your favorite song(s) from the setlist they played at your show? deathwish and house of wolves (back to back no less, i was so out of breath)

What song were you most hoping to hear? Did you get to hear it? deathwish! this was my third and last show and they didn't play it at my two previous shows so i was desperate to hear it live that night and i did!

What was your favorite moment from the show? probably mikey smiling at people in the crowd during the bridge to famous last words. he wasn't just glazing over people i felt like he was really looking at everyone's faces individually and it felt so special. that song live always makes me cry so i was just sobbing and smiling back at him at the same time haha. an honourable mention to gerard making fun of mikey for taking a photo of the crowd for his instagram.

What was the most unexpected moment from the show? there was a rainbow in the sky and everyone started pointing at it and going "rainbow, rainbow, rainbow" and it took so long for gerard to figure out what was happening. they all looked so confused but when they finally got it they all, frank in particular, really cracked up about the fact that people just really wanted them to see the rainbow.

Did you snag any merch? What pieces? i Finally got the boy zone shirt for my friend (third time's a charm) and the skeleton long sleeve for myself

Many fans describe seeing MCR live as feeling like coming home. Did you experience anything like that at your show? something like that definitely! it's like for two hours or so you're teleported to somewhere beyond space and time where the only thing that exists in the world, the only thing that matters is that moment and you feel so connected with the band and everything else just disappears.

If you could change one thing about your show experience, what would it be? towards the end of the show there were people taking advantage of the fact that people let them come to the front to get water and they just stayed there and didnt go back to their original spot. cutting in front of someone isn't cool and makes you look stupid.

Has your perspective or opinion about the band changed since seeing them on this tour? If so, in what way? 100% yes. i became a fan the summer before the halloween comeback announcement so when i thought of my chem i thought of the revenge era because that's my favourite and most of the content circulating my part of mcrblr at the time was from that era. seeing them so full of life and excitement and love this tour has completely changed it for me though. this is the reality of my chemical romance, they're back, they're better than ever and they're not going anywhere.

What advice would you give to people seeing My Chemical Romance in the future? respect each other, don't cut in line, look out for the people around you and have fun!!!

Anything we didn't ask that you feel obliged to share or talk about? whenever i got a little peek of ray through the crowd he was shredding all of our faces off

Thanks, Salla! She can be found on Tumblr at @poolsofblood.

[loousir]

[Satyr} Insecurities

Soft Male Presenting NB Satyr x Male Reader

Dakota

Warnings: Dakota get comforted by you after a sudden breakup and you end up confessing, they realized they like you too, mentions of alcohol (tho not explicitly stated other than beer), two faced boyfriend (now ex)

Masterlist

---------------------------------------------------------

Currently, you are on your way to third wheel for your best friend, Dakota. This guy that Dakota was dating was one that you really did not like. He was all sweet and kind around Dakota but the second they turned their back, he was a complete jerk. You knew you should tell Dakota but they just looked so happy being with this guy that you didn't want to ruin this momentary happiness.

Anyhow, both of you were walking down the street to a small yet busy pub that he had asked Dakota to meet. Dakota had asked him if you could come and he said yes but you knew he would have said no if that didn't ruin his "perfect boyfriend" image. You developed feelings for Dakota years ago, long into your friendship with him but you never confessed. You knew they didn't feel the same so you decided to just try to be the very best friend you could be.

Dakota pointed out the place you two were going and you followed them up to the front door. You opened it for them and they almost instantly spot their boyfriend, going over to him and hugging him. You smiled a sad smile and looked at the two before joining them at their table. He had sent Dakota off to get drinks for the three of you. "How have you been (R/n)?" He looks over to you with a not glare for once. "I'm breaking up with him."

Your eyes widened slightly. "What?" He nods. "Yeah I got hit pretty hard in the face with reality after the last time we met." His whole demeanor had changed from what it was before. You tried to say something but Dakota came back with a beer bottle and two glasses. They set one of the glasses down in front of you and handed the bottle to their soon to be ex who's demeanor went back to perfect boyfriend mode.

You smiled at Dakotas smile before taking a drink of what they got you. "Ah, (R/n)! Did you see the new episode yesterday? It was so good!" Dakota said before going on to ramble about bits and pieces. (R/n) smiled and nodded, chatting about said episode with Dakota.

A few minutes had past with the three of you talking before (R/n) decided it was time to bring the bad news. "Dakota." They looked up to (R/n) who looked like he just accidentally kicked a puppy. Dakota noticed and went to grab his hands to ask what's wrong but he pulled away. You looked away out of courtesy but still listened in. "I'm sorry Dakota. I dont think we can be together anymore. Its really me, not you. You've been nothing but good to me and I want you to be happy but it can't be with me."

"Maybe we'll see each other around. Don't worry about paying for drinks, I'll cover it on the way out." He said standing up to leave. Dakota couldn't seem to process what what happening as they watched their now ex-boyfriend walk away. "Kota, let's go." You said standing and grabbing their hand.

They didn't move but instead started to shake slightly. "Dakota, please." You pulled them up and practically dragged them out of the pub and stopped when you were a block away from it. Dakota hadn't said a word but held on tightly to your hand. "Do you wanna go back to your house?" You asked, looking to them. They nodded softly, more hair moving to cover their usually covered eyes.

You squeezed their hand gently as the two of you walked back to Dakotas place. It wasn't too far from the pub so neither of you saw the point in taking the car. After a few minutes of walking, Dakota stopped, making you look back. "Im... S-so sorry... I... I cant..." They tried to say something but ended up almost collapsing, legs shaking like crazy. You caught them before they could and opted to carry them the rest of the way.

Dakota holds onto you and cries into your neck. You gently rub the back of their head and whisper reassuring words into their ears. After a few more minutes of walking, you make it to the house and carefully unlock the door and close it behind you before taking them upstairs to their bedroom. "I'll go grab some water. I'll be right back ok?"

You head back down stairs, lost in thought as you grabbed water from the fridge before heading back up. You didn't expect to see what you did though.

Your body stood ridgid with shock. Standing in front of you, staring back with wild and afraid eyes was your best friend of 5 years. They looked like they were wearing pants but they weren't. Their legs were covered in dark brown fur, same colour as their hair. Your eyes followed the soft digitigrade shape down to the cloven hooves in place of feet. A small tail to match laid tight against their body.

"Dakota..?"

You breathed out hesitantly. They seemed to snap out of whatever trance they were in for a moment and they started to shake. "Hey... Hey whats wrong?" You asked as you very slowly approached them, as if the wrong step could send them sprinting away. They didn't say a word and you eventually got to their side. You very carefully grabbed their hand but they pulled it away faster than you could blink.

They looked at you with such fear that you could barely even tell if it was your sweet Dakota anymore. A tense moment passed as you had seen his eyes for the first time. You gently took their hand again and pressed their palm against your chest. They could feel your heart pounding, theirs was probably just as fast. You and Dakota had this thing where if one of you were panicking, the other would place a hand on the heart of the one whos panicking. It usually ended with a hug but it was really just a comfort thing that Dakota had started with you when they had a panic attack in public. Once they had seemed to realized, some lever must have flipped as they pulled you into a tight hug.

"(Y/n)..."

You hugged them back, gently placing a hand on the back of their head to keep them close. A silent minute had past before you felt your shoulder getting wet again. "I'm so sorry." It was barely a whisper but you heard it. Neither of you said a word after that. Dakota pulled their head out from the crook of your neck and rested their forehead against your chest.

"I didn't want you to find out like this..." Their voice was small as they spoke, hands gripping tightly to the back of your shirt. You carefully set a hand on their cheek, coaxing them to look up to you. Their eyes were red and slightly puffy from crying. The bright green, almost yellow irises stood out against their pink-ish scleras. "Your eyes are so beautiful." You mumbled out without thinking.

Dakota blushed and looked away. "I know you probably don't wanna talk so let's sit down and I'll go first." You lead them over to the bed and both of you sat down. "Judging by your reaction you didn't want me knowing about the whole... Lower half thing." You paused to look at Dakota who nodded. "Sorry." You said, still processing everything. Dakota shook their head. "N-no... I..."

"I don't know what to say..." Dakota said with a heavy sigh. "It's ok. You don't have to say anything-" They cut you off before you could continue. "(Y/n) I've lied to you for 5 years about it! Of course I have to say something!" You looked away from them and sighed. "I would be lying if I said it didn't upset me that you never told me what you were." Without hesitation, you grabbed Dakotas hand again, staring at it as they let you intertwine your fingers. "But I always had a feeling you weren't exactly human anyways... Of course I wanted to know but I didn't want you to feel uncomfortable around me."

Dakota looked to your eyes, tears welling up in theirs again. You could see that they wanted to apologize for not saying anything but you just shook your head. "Kota, I could care less that your a Satyr. If anything I like you even more." You mumbled the last part but they still heard it anyway, signaled by the blush that rose to their cheeks yet again. Dakota placed their free hand on your cheek and made you look back to them.

"I love you so fucking much Kota. You don't even know. I'm sorry. This is probably a lot on top of me finding out about probably your biggest secret and the... Y'know." Dakota shook their head. "Its all been so overwhelming. I'm honestly surprised I haven't passed out yet." You let a small huff of a laugh pass as they pulled your face closer to theirs. "You seemed to have calmed down a lot." You mumbled out.

Dakota nodded. "Yeah. I guess I'm... Relieved... I've known you long enough that I know you when you aren't feigning truths." They pause for a moment. You took this moment to observe their tear stained face. "(Y/n). I dont ever want you to leave me." Their voice had been shaky since you found out about them being a Satyr but it was even worse when they said that. "I couldn't truly live if you weren't in my life Kota."

They looked at you with wide eyes. "Sorry, said something weird didnt-" You were cut off by a pair of soft lips against yours. You carefully kissed back, tangling your hand in their soft, fuffy hair. The second both of you pulled away, Dakota smiled and pulled you into a tight hug. "Kota-" "I think him breaking up with me was the best decision ever." You furrowed your brows, really confused.

"What? Why? I though you two were happy together." Dakota nodded. "I was happy. But I also saw how unhappy you were. A-and it made me realize... Just how much I wanted to make you happy because you make me happy." You couldn't say anything but just looked at them with surprise. "Can I... Can I kiss you?" You asked quietly. Dakota laughed and nodded, pulling you into a kiss.

Your hands decided to test the waters a bit and you gently ran a hand through the soft fur that coat their leg. They shivered and gripped onto your shirt, leaning into the kiss more. You pulled away and let your hand linger on their thigh. "Did... Did you really mean it when you said that you liked me more knowing I was a Satyr?" You blushed and laughed awkwardly while looking away. "Yeah... I didn't realize I said that out loud."

Dakota let out a gentle laugh and pulled you into a tight hug. "Let's take a nap, I'm tired after crying so much..." You nodded and kissed their neck softly as the two of you laid down.

"Please stay by my side."

I originally started this one shot at the paragraph that starts at "Your body stood ridgid with shock." so sorry if everything above it seemed weird-

---

1890

[vriendenboekjes]

hibiiiii hiiiii! top 5 figure skating moments ever!

HIIIII LAU!!!!!! 💕🥰

i love this i didnt even rb that ask game also this is soooo hard, kind of leaving historical/firsts (e.g. first quad [jump]/backflips) aside so this is more of a "moments i enjoyed' than a "literal defining moments for the discipline". Also i mostly watch men's singles because women's single skating is too depressing and im not super into pairs or ice dance. Also this turned more into favourite programs instead of moments. sorry! So in no particular order:

Yuzuru Hanyu's 2017 World's absolutely GOAT Hope & Legacy (FS) and breaking a world record after coming in 5th after the short program. Like my favourite program of his changes by the day but this was literal insanity and is therefore included in this. other programs that have a (special) place in my heart are let's go crazy, parisienne walkways (linking the 2019 gala because it was better than at the 2014 olympics, but the video quality was better there so it's over here), chopin ballade, seimei, haru yo koi

Anything Jason Brown does but his Sinnerman SP is amazing... i truly think he's one of the most artistic and original skaters out there like his jumps may not be as "impressive" when compared to e.g. n*than ch*n's quad-filled monstrosities programs but his presentation and his spins.. i could wax poetic about it all day

Kaori Sakamoto's Matrix (FS) because it's fucking epic. almost giving judges a boot in the face she was so funny for that. and her costume is soooo fantastic like the black with the green glitter making it look like those numbers drizzling down the screen

Jun Hwan-Cha's Ina Bauer at the olympics that was so beautiful it made me cry. here's his FS from the NHK trophy (around 3:50) because the olympics channel hasnt uploaded it individually :/ here's the full FS event and he starts at 3:28:23 also I LOOOVEEEED the music of this season's SP

Also Wakaba Higuchi's Bird Set Free she is literally amazing

not really a greatest moment i think but Stephane Lambiel's william tell overture was one of the first videos i found when i got into figure skating and i loved the energy he exuded

[dreams-your-smp]

for ask game : 2 & 3?

2. What's your top 5 songs at the moment and why?

Ok so this isnt in any order because I struggle when ordering things!

1.Convergence

Ok. So. Most people like the song, I dont think ive ever met anyone who doesnt (<- knows a grand total of 1 other being in the fandom) but the reason it made it into my favorites list is its the kind of song that sticks with you, you never really forget the rythm. Its quick and has like. Vaugely sinister vibes, but its still so. Fricking. energetic. Like hoooooooooly stars. Its so very ough. I think it woudl be fun to play on my contrabass if I had the sheet music.

2. False Disposition

Hooooooooooly stars that chorus. Stars above, I love that chorus so very much. The whole song has this energetic vibe, good head bopping song. I've still got the chorus stuck in my head, but im not complaning! I think I would say its 1 of or maybe my complete- favorite song in the PAFL series because its just so vibe worthy.

3. Someone Gets Hurt (Mean Girls)

I recently listened to the mean girls soundtrack, and will admit, there's a. Lot of songs I dont like. But Someone Gets Hurt? Like W O W. I love the way she sings "Poor little me all trapped in this fabulous shooooooooooooooooooooooooow". like Wow Ok pop off

4. Teenagers (MCR) Fast. loud. Very good for my ADHD. Makes me want to scream but like in a good way, because its like if stimming was a song. Like. AAAAAAA bap bap. This is incoherent. but Teenagers by MCR is not <33

5. Hello My Old Heart (The oh hellos)

its all slow and lovely and melancholy and just. Such a vibe. "Hello my old heart, you've been so. still, Are you still there inside mt chest" like yes thats such a vibe im gonna cry /pos

3.What's your favourite memory from school?

Uhh. thats a Good Question. I have very shaky memories but there is one that I can think of.

It was last year, and my language Arts teacher was handing out SOL scores. I knew that there was a grand total of 1 (One) kid in my school who'd gotten a 600 (perfect score), and my heart sank. "It cant be me" i was telling myself in my head over and over again, because I couldn't afford to get my hopes up only to have them come crashing down on me. He set my post it note with my score under my laptop, and I knew if I got anything under 550 I would be devestated. Then I saw the double 0's. And I almost cried.

I had gotten a 500.

Or worse? A 400 that wasn't even a pass advance

So I say to my teacher "Is this something I want to see?" and he nods and goes "Yes, I believe so.".

So I take a deep breath and look towards my friend for support.

Little by little I move my computer to see the post it note.

I freeze.

I almost gasp.

And then i grin, flapping my hands around. A perfect score! The perfect score! And then I spent the rest of the day trying to make sure I didnt say that to anyone who didn't ask bc i didnt want to seem like I was bragging.

[d0llpie]

Tendou x reader

Part 1  Part 2  Part 3  Part 4  Part 5

Warnings: angst, mentions of insecurity, self harm (not explicit), sexual assault, ooc ushijima and smut, please let me know if i missed anything

Word count: 2.7k

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tendou POV 

He was so in love with you, holding you against him, the smell of your hair and the way you fit so perfectly against him, he could lay like that forever. He was quickly woken up fully by Ushiwaka walking into the room. 

“wakatoshi? what are you doing?” he asked the taller male 

“i’m going to bed” he replied simply standing in the doorway 

“Okay well i’m going to go to the bathroom” he felt you stir against him and he whispered into your ear before kissing your cheek and walking into the bathroom.

He looked in the mirror and saw the hickeys on his neck and smiled as he saw you in his head, shaking below him. He made his way back to the dorm room and stopped outside the door hearing grunts and seeing Ushijima with his knees outside your legs and his hand on your leg as he kissed you. He turned back around and went back into the bathroom. He was frozen, he didn’t want to believe what he saw and he began thinking of all the other girls from his past, he felt stupid. He truly thought you were different, that you were his. He looked back in the mirror and saw the tears rolling down his cheeks, he hadn’t even realised he was crying over the defeating sound of his heart breaking. He walked back into the dorm ready to hear you break his heart further with excuses but he saw Ushijima passed out on his bed and his own bed was empty. He silently walked to his bed and stared at the roof while he tried to think of any sign that he might’ve missed telling him that you would’ve done this. He trusted you and he let himself go, he didn’t see any of the signs and he cursed at himself for being so naive. He knew he wasn’t loveable, at least this time would be the last.  

You managed to escape Ushijimas grasp and you ran to your own dorm, tear stained cheeks and a pounding headache. You crawled into bed and sobbed, how were you going to tell Tendou? Ushijima was his best friend and you knew you couldn’t hide this from him, he was probably wondering where you went. 

y/n: Tendou?

seen 2.38am 

y/n: Tendou? why aren’t you answering 

seen 2.39am

y/n: I’m in my dorm room, can you come here? 

seen 2.40am 

You were sobbing and shaking now. Had ushijima told Tendou you forced yourself onto him? You began crying even harder at the thought of Tendou not trusting you. The thought of Ushijima caused your throat to tighten, his tongue jamming itself your mouth caused you to sob even harder and you passed out from crying so hard. 

The next morning you woke up and felt your head ringing. You brought Tendous hoodie closer to your face and inhaled his scent before getting out of bed. Your eyes were puffy from all the crying and tears threatened to fall again as you remembered what Ushijima did. You pulled up your phone but saw no messages from Tendou. You winced at the thought of telling him but you knew he would be able to tell something was wrong with you if you avoided him.

y/n: goodmorning, i really need to talk to you can you come here? 

Tendou: yeah 

You finally got a response and you brushed your hair before he knocked on your door. As you opened the door you saw his balled fists and he wouldn’t look at you. You had no idea what was going on in his head and you just wanted him to hold you and tell you it would be okay.  

“hey ten-“ he cut you off angrily, still not looking at you 

“was this your plan all along? cause you really outdid yourself you know that? you didn’t need to go that far if he was all you wanted” he was looking down at you with a rage you’d never seen from him, it scared you and you noticed your breathing speed up involuntarily. 

“what are you talking” he cut you off again making you flinch and jump back, his eyes softened when he saw how scared you were but he didn’t stop 

“don’t act fucking innocent, i won’t lie, i believed you and i didn’t even see it coming in the end” he spoke with so much venom you froze and didn’t even realise you were crying. 

“I don’t know why the fuck you had to go ahead and tell me you loved me, you could’ve told me way sooner you weren’t interested but you wanted to hurt me didn’t you? just like everyone else huh? you manipulative bitch” he had you cornered against the wall and all you could do was look down and cry as he kept yelling at you, you flinched at his words as he balled his fists tighter. 

“please tendou listen i-“ you were choking on your tears but he didn’t listen 

“you were fucking boring anyways.” he just walked out slamming your door and you slid down the wall onto the floor and buried your face into your knees.

Tendou POV 

As he went back into his dorm he tried to steady his breathing and he looked up at Ushijima who was watching him with a sad expression on his face. 

“Tendou..” he began 

“Don’t, i’m sick of hearing this speech” he turned around but Ushijima continued, he needed him to hear this, he knew what he did and he was so ashamed. He hated himself for what he did and he knew he had to tell Tendou the real story even if that meant losing his only friend. 

“Tendou it was my fault, i was drunk last night after hanging out with semi after the match and i came onto her, she pushed me off and ran out of the room, she didn’t want me at all” his face fell and he avoided looking up at Tendou who was now staring at the wall in shock, hyperventilating. His jaw was clenched and his chest felt like it was fire. 

What had he done. His best friend took advantage of you and he went against you when you tried to tell him. Fuck. FUCK! He felt like an idiot, he let his insecurities push away the only person who loved him when they needed him the most. 

He didn’t even look at Ushijima, he didn’t want to see his face, all he could see was you, he saw the moment your heart broke while he screamed at you. He was used to breaking hearts on the court but seeing you break like that, seeing the fear in your eyes made him feel sick. He needed to find you and hold you, he didnt even know what he was going to say but he hated the thought of you thinking he hated you. 

He remembered last night, if he had stayed just a little longer he could’ve helped you, he could’ve helped you avoid this and avoided hurting you. Tears began to prick his eyes as the images of you shaking and crying with fear in front of him flashed in front of him. He reached your dorm room but it was locked

“y/n let me in please!” he was crying now and pounding on the door but he couldn’t hear you inside 

“y/n, i’m so sorry i had no idea what happened this is all my fault, i don’t need you to forgive me just please let me see you, i need to see that you’re okay please open the door” he was on his knees banging on the door when he heard a metallic clink, something fell on the floor and his heart sunk when he realised what he heard.

“y/n? y/n? please answer me” he was so desperate he banged on the door until it swung open and his heart completely shattered when he saw you. 

You were still in his hoodie but there was blood on the rolled up sleeves as blood was running out of the deep slit halfway down your forearm. He rushed to your side and moved the knife away as he bent down and lifted you up, you were barely conscious and all he could do was cry and blame himself. He tried to call an ambulance while also holding your arm trying to slow the bleeding. 

Once the ambulance arrived he climbed in and held your hand while sobbing seeing you look so empty. Your cheeks had tear stains and your eyes and lips were still puffy, he was scared and hated the thought of losing you. Even more, losing you and the last look he saw on your face being fear, fear of him. 

On the ride over he had grabbed your phone to text Asahi. He stared at your lock screen, it was a picture of the two of you at practice, you assumed Yachi had taken it but you were on his back laughing while he grinned over his shoulder. He forced himself to unlock and call Asahi who met him at the hospital along with a tall muscular brunette he recognised as Karasunos captain. 

“Tendou what happened?” Asahi looked at him with a pained expression, he had to hold back crying again as he replied shakily 

“She’s okay now i think, she’s still unconscious but the cut was stitched up..” he looked down at the floor and bit his lip which started quivering 

“what the hell happened” the captain asked him again, anger in his eyes much different to Asahi who had started crying 

“It was my fault, i thought she had cheated on me but she didn’t want him and i wasn’t there..” the tears were rolling down his cheeks again as his throat and chest tightened, he felt like his head was on fire and he was praying he would wake up any second and you’d be in his arms, sound asleep. 

“I think you should leave” the captain muttered and Tendou looked up at him defensively 

“Its fine, he can stay” Asahi whispered but avoided looking at Tendou.. 

You woke up and immediately knew where you were, the smell of antiseptic ran through your nose and you felt like you were going to be sick. You looked to your side and saw Asahi and Tendou, you smiled at Asahi and Tendou reached out for your hand. 

“y/n..i” you looked away from the redhead and tried to stare out the window as he spoke, willing yourself not to cry. 

“y/n i know that saying sorry will never be enough but i am so so sorry, and i promise as soon as you’re out of here i will show you that i am, you don’t have to forgive me but i need you to know that i love you and i always will” he was rubbing small circles on the top of your hand and a few tears had rolled down his cheeks but you still wouldn’t look at him. 

You bit your lip to keep from crying and Asahi could see how distraught you were

“Tendou, maybe you should come back later..” Asahi said kindly giving the boy an apologetic smile and Tendou just nodded before squeezing your hand and leaving. 

Daichi managed to convince the doctors it was an alcohol induced accident and so you were released the next night. Asahi suggested you stay with him for a few days but you needed to grab a couple of items from your dorm room before leaving. You gave Asahi a list because you didn’t want to be confronted by Tendou or Ushijima. As you watched Asahi jog into the building you saw a familiar red head jogging down the street, he had visible eye bags and his hair was more disheveled than usual. He noticed you inside Asahi’s car before you had time to hide. He slowly started to approach you looking more nervous than you’d ever seen him before. 

“y/n...i have something to give you” he waited for you to step out of the car before continuing 

Tendou POV 

You looked hesitant to follow him but he appreciated your willingness to hear him out. He could still see the pain in your eyes which broke his heart but surprisingly he saw no anger, no resentment, he could see that you still loved him, even if you didn’t want to. He had been walking all night from the hospital and had been eating at the cafe before deciding he needed to go back to the dorms. He didn’t want to see Ushijima, he didn’t know what he would do if he saw him so he’d been avoiding the dorms. 

As you walked with him to the dorms he noticed you were wearing one of his hoodies but it felt strange that you were walking behind him a few paces and not clinging to his arm like he was used to. It pained him to know you didn’t trust him and he would do anything to make you trust him again. As you walked up the stairs to the dorm floor he noticed Ushijima in the hallways and his jaw clenched. He felt like he was on fire, his fists were balled and his chest felt tight, he was about to yell out when he heard your breathing speed up behind him. He quickly turned to you and pulled you into his chest as he walked you into your dorm. He could feel how fast your heart was beating and his t shirt was balled up in your hands as you started shaking slightly. He was trying his best to comfort you by rubbing circles on your back as he held your head but his own heart was breaking at the sight of you like this, knowing he was partially to blame.  

Asahi came over and looked at him angrily, he had been cleaning the blood off of the floor and had a duffel bag behind him. 

“Is she leaving?” he said to Asahi 

“She’s staying with me for a couple of days” Asahi finished cleaning before standing up and walking over to Tendou who was still holding you tightly

“I have to give her something before you guys go” he slowly stepped away from the smaller girl in front of him and walked to his dorm, he couldn’t see Ushijima and he was glad he couldn’t. He grabbed a few of his shounen jump copies and came back into her dorm to see her lying on her bed with Asahi sitting next to her on the floor. 

You were lying in bed as Asahi tried to get you to get up when Tendou walked back in holding shounen jump. You watched him walk over to you and without hesitation come onto your bed. You didn’t want to see him but you couldn’t deny that he brought you comfort and that’s what you needed right then. You buried your head in his chest as he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you onto his stomach, intertwining your legs trying to cover you completely. Asahi watched as you relaxed into him and as much as he hated Tendou right now he could see how sorry he was. 

“Tendou i’m going to go grab some coffee can you stay here” he began to stand back up and tendou just nodded in response. 

You could hear Tendous heart beat and you unclenched your fists, releasing his shirt before you started to speak 

“tendou...are you bored of me?” you mumbled into his shirt, you stopped crying and you just felt exhausted 

“i never found you boring, i didn’t mean anything that i said to you” he ran his fingers through your hair and you shushed him

“it’s fine just, just lay here for a minute” you closed your eyes listening to his heart beating steadily. He kissed your forehead before lying back and closing his eyes 

“I love you, my paradise” he whispered before falling asleep with you in his arms.

[volfoss]

how about ranking bucciarati's team?

regret to inform you that ur gonna get a very long answer bc i have passionate feelings about them all! also trish is in this bc she is part of the team and no one will tell me otherwise and will also include some rambling bc it is me and i have so many feelings towards these characters and none of them r cohesive

under the cut just in case (post writing yes it was long)

Giorno Giovanna:

way way more complex than ppl normally give him credit for (i will not go into feelings on how a majority of the fandom treats him unless ppl want me to then i will in fact make a very long ranty post and will not be stopped)

mildly op (esp at the beginning with how hes kind of able to just use his stand really well w no problems altho i think thats true of most of the jojos that we have seen animated?)

i am emotionally attached to him and want to give him a big hug

hes just a kinda goofy kid and is maybe a bit not good with figuring out hey this is a semi dangerous situation maybe i shouldnt be taunting him (leaky eye luca for example)

has the actual best theme

i love how he works off the rest of the team so well (even w members who do not like him)

is in my top 3 jojos i love this kid sm i would adopt him if he was real

7/10

Bruno Bucciarati:

the fucking way his character develops from licky man to best dad material is my favorite thing

his outfit is so so so good i would die to wear it

in general this man is one of my fave jojos characters and i get a lot of comfort from him

hes just really neat and has a good taste in music

he did his fucking best and i will always love him for that

imo the way that his death was drawn out was genuinely one of the most heartbreaking deaths in the entire series and fucks me up each time i think of it

i feel like he really is the one to hold the team together in a way that everyone feels cared for and saved

def has a savior complex tho for sure

dilf but im ace

also manga superiority bc he either makes the stupidest faces or looks very nice (anime has a lot of weird animation in regards to his face) and also because its lingerie there instead of a tattoo that changes thickness and placement every second

10/10

Leone Abbacchio:

guilty pleasure liking man

i am obsessed with his vibes and wish to become him

i cannot physically express just how much i love him but hes one of my faves of all time (not obvious by my theme at all wdym)

i miss his manga palette but also the colored manga isnt my beloved but also black lipstick abba

hot take maybe but anime abba looks better than manga minus the lipstick debacle

hes so so tall and i will steal his height in a nice way

his past man his past it fucks me up

his death fucks me up normally but when i was rewatching recently, i saw he gave this tiny lil smile after helping the kids get their ball and i could not take it anymore

him and brunos relationship (canonically and out of canon too) is one of my favorites in the series

also fandom hot take as i guess i am doing those for everyone- but ppl either have him as cosntantly trying to murder giorno or being like good son and v out of character, and it is really weird? not sayign that ill do better when i write them but also like im convinced some ppl havent seen the show or smth

i will steal both him and bruno and marry them both <3

this man is beloved i love him to death

10/10

Pannacotta Fugo:

i cannot spell his first name to save my life

also fandom take- ppl make him constantly only angry boy all the time and it really irks me. ik araki did not give him 2 much to work w in terms of canon personality but its frustrating

the light novel purple haze feedback is so so so good and adds sm to his character and i really like it for that!

fugo is one of those that imo deserves a lot and didnt get that

genuinely the vibes between how he treats narancia is v interesting to me, like its clear he cares about nara but nara not doing great w math really frustrates him

i love their interactions and how he is genuinely a kind person at times

the manga colors r superior here, my strawberry boy <3

i just really love and appreciate him a lot and wish that ppl gave him more love

i keep getting assigned him on kin quizzes

very smart good boy

ALSO ok fugo did not do any wrong by leaving

unsure if thats a hot take but i genuinely dont blame the character one bit for leaving and again purple haze feedback really delves into that and why he did it

if ur a fugo fan go read it

his past is really upsetting esp in the anime i will cry over it

his stand is adorable and i wanna hug it

his vibes r fun and i wanna gift him strawberry dangly earrings

8/10

Narancia Ghirga:

this boy i am also adopting (i am adopting most of them sorry)

i really hate how ppl act as if hes stupid bc bad math skills do not equal stupid like did ppl not see the fight w formaggio??

the way he just fucking dove into the water after the boat and how brunos face went all soft and happy it will never not make me cry

he is constnatnly making me wanna cry if i think too much about him for 2 seconds i love him sm

how can anyone not adore him when he set an entire street on fire yk

hes just happy despite his past and it makes me sad i love nara sm

torture dance is one of my favorite memes from the show

ALSO ok the way he died so suddenly absolutely broke me bc the remaining team members r really just seeing everyone die in front of them so quickly

his goofy and laid back moments r my fave

i love just how loyal and caring he is to his friends

his stand is really cool and again the fight w formaggio was so fun to watch

8/10

Guido Mista:

probably my least favorite member of the team for a semi good reason:

the jokes towards trish are really really uncomfy and how fugo doesnt wanna be involved but he is pushing him to do something that makes him uncomfortable did not make me like him a lot

hes goofy but not goofy enough for me to be ok with the repeated jokes about that esp in the body swap episode (ik it was supposed to be funny but it just felt off)

his vibes r good but i wish we got to see his hair

the fandom interpretation is normally pretty good of him overall?

despite not loving him a lot, i really enjoying writing for him (one day might open up headcanon requests or smth but unsure)

hes someone id wanna watch movies w but his taste in movies and mine r very different

love how he and his stand get along

honestly has very very good comedic potential

i really like how he and giorno interact as the series goes on (in a platonic way i need to clarify that i love their friendship)

again him in purple haze feedback was really interesting

probably a 5/10?

Trish Una:

beloved and deserved better

her first outfit in the manga > outfit in the anime

actually in general i believe in manga trish superiority like her hair in the manga looks so cool

her stand her stand her stand i love sm

if u dont include trish in the group i am murdering u <3

HER CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT!!!! IS SO GOOD!!!!!!

fandom gripe is how people either pretend she does not exist or has the trish first introduction thing where shes using her defense mechanisms and acting a bit spoiled

OK but her in purple haze feedback!!! mild spoilers but how bruno was taking care of her post the ending of vento aureo makes me so happy each time i think of it

very mad that she canonically didnt really get an ending and yet again PHF my beloved actually gave her that

how spice girl starts out as a stand thats helping her thru a very stressful situation is so cool and i love it

DAD BRUNO DAD BRUNO DAD BRUNO *frothes at the mouth*

but more seriously how she leans on bruno and begins 2 trust him and nearly point blank is referring to him as a father figure always fucks me up

esp because of the resulting fight afterwards

and the very ending of the arc that ends w bruno being like bye gonna go in the clouds and look ethereal now, oh man it makes me so sad

bc giorno is the only one that knew what happened and people that were closer to bruno due to knowing him longer didnt

i wanna see how trish coped w that personally

despite being introduced not at the beginning i think her arc and character in general were as well paced as it could be!

9/10

finally done! sorry that took so long but oh man i have so many feelings towards these guys its not even funny

[marvel-m-lee]

Meeting everyone and Eggs •Part 3- M-Verse•

Warnings: eggs

Fandom: Marvel

●○●This is a Tickle Fic Story●○●

-This story may also include Gore in some chapters-

-

"GUYS?! WHERES THE KID?!"

This knew man was the one from before, when you woke up. Only he seemed much more frantic and panicky. His body sweating as fear followed him dragging him down.

"Morning Steve" The ginger lady said smirking at his worried expression. His intense breathing patterns and loud banging on the compound floors as he ran.

His eyes locked with yours as time for a moment slowed down. His bright blue eyes, enchanted with opia emotions.

In a swift motion he ran over and held you close. You'd never felt something like this before. Like a string that had been slowly breaking just fell as though the rest of it had returned. The warmth that surrounded you in his arms, shock filling you but something else, this felt overwhelming, tears almost came to your eyes. You could never remember a time when you'd felt this. At least not in an incredibly long time.

"Woah woah, calm down there Steve. She's still warming up to the place." Sam chuckled with slight concern. It was a quick movement, they all thought you might have been very uncomfortable. But you werent, Steve- once realizing what he had done- lifted his arms to let you go incase you were uncomfortable. But you brought yours up and hugged him back. Hiding your face and taking in the feeling.

You were much smaller than him, so the sight was incredibly adorable, everyones faces weakened at the sight. Steve just leant down to hug you once more.

You'd never met this man, but he felt like the only one you truly knew out of them all. You never wanted to loose the feeling.

"Shh, its okay" he had noticed your tears and looked around to say he were going to take you for a bit, in which you agreed by your movements. He held your hand and brought you down a corridor so the others wouldn't see.

"I'm sorry dear, I didnt man to startle you" the blond man knelt down and held onto your shoulders, apologising for making you cry at your first meeting.

You shook your head and hugged him again.

"I really am sorry" he stated, hugging you. You knew he was sorry, but he had nothing to be sorry for. You were crying due to the overwhelming emotions of warmth and joy you felt.

You sniffles and wipped your eye, "i- you, i- sorry... thank you" you muttered, unable to respond properly.

"Dont be sorry dear! You have nothing to be sorry for, should we go get some breakfast?" His smile full of warmth enchanted you and your tears faded as you returned the smile with a nod.

"I'm Steve Roger's by the way" he said as he held your hand as you walked.

"I'm y/n y/l/n"

You both arrived back at the table with the others after calming down a bit. Both of you holding each others hands. You werent sure why, but there was an automatic connection between the two of you, something so familiar yet you'd never known possible.

"Seems like them two are good" Sam laughed nudging Nat, she rolled her eyes but laughed agreeing. Bruce sipping his coffee smiling at you.

"So y/n, would you care for some food?" Steve asked you looking down. It seemed strange but you shyly nodded.

"Ah making food already are we? Alright Rogers go ahead and serve us like the slave to America you are" a new man entered, confidence emitted off him and circled the room. His heels clapping the floor as he walked, his black suit button being popped off as he walked freely. He looked to be in some very formal attire, all designer and- well rich? He also wore some type if sunglasses even though you wrte all inside?-

You looked back to Steve as he raided his eyebrows at the new man, then beginning to cook ignoring his words. This new man walked over to you, you started to question how many men actually did live here- and how different they all seemed to be.

"Tony Stark, y/n y/l/n I know its alright dear. Alright look after the kid I've gotta go out" he pulled down his glasses while talking, his strange beard stuck out to you too. Like triangles at the edges? It looked oddly cool though.

Steve turned around with a smirk, "oh so that's why you're acting like this?"

"Acting like what Rodgers?" The two locked eyes, both having large smirks covering their faces.

"I'll just get you back later" Steve mocked in a teasing tone, making Tony blush and push up his glasses.

"I'll be back in an hour or so. Play nice" he patted your head as he walked off.

Damn. First impressions really did count here didnt they? You could bearly even get a word in. Yet he seemed so confident and important, and manly full of sass. Even you could tell the man was a diva.

You couldn't help but find yourself giggling at him, which made Tony quite happy indeed. He strutted off into another corridor, his heels clip clapping as he prodded along.

"Do you like egg's y/n?" Steve asked you caringly, though you werent sure how to answer. Confusion spread across your face, adorable as such.

"Oh, sorry I'd best explain" Bruce pipped up. "Y/n has no memory of her past. So the most she knows is her age and name, nearly. So she wont be able to answer any question. Stark will explain more later"

You looked at Bruce, grateful for his interruption, he nodded back to show he knew you were thankful.

"Oh okay, well would you like to try some?" Steve refrained his queston to make you more comfortable. You nodded slightly, still quite embarrassed to talk.

"So you don't remember anything then?" Sam asked gaining your attention, "makes sense how you didn't know what juice was then. Still, it's great ain't it?" He smiled at you laughed, you giggled slightly, his failed attempts at being funny actually seemed funny to you. He smiled at you in this heart breaking way at your giggles, he found it too adorable to handle.

"You alright there Sam?" Sam rolled his eyes at the voice as you both turned your attentions to a new man.

"How many men actually do live here?..." you whispered to Banner, he seemed to be the one you were most talkative with as of the moment.

"A lot" he whispered back, chuckling at your questions. He hadn't noticed it before but there were a lot of men in the avengers compound.

This new make figure was also build strong, he had blackish brown hair floating around his shoulders and a strong face structure with a stubby chin. He also wore a pinkish dull red shirt that covered all his arms and some black gloves on with ordinary pants.

"All googly eyes over what?" He teased, winding the other man up as he walked in. He then spotted you and looked taken aback and gave you this- strange smile. Seemingly forced yet a happiness spread from it, you smiled at him.

"Buck that's y/n, shes gonna be stating with us for a while" Steve called from across the counter while making eggs. Buck walked over to you and bobbed down to your size, crouching whikeleaning on his knees.

"Um, hi y/n. I'm Bucky Barnes" he seemed awkward but in a different sense to how Bruce was. Bruce seemed anxious and fearful while Bucky seemed awkward and trying. You gave him a small smile for his efforts.

"Now who's goggling?" Sam teased back, taking a sip if his coffee. Bucky drilled his eyes while moving upwards to look at Sam.

Sam almost spit out his coffee as an awkward wobbly smile snuck onto his face. You couldn't see what Bucky was doing whole starting at Sam but everyone else laughted at his sudden weakness.

"Barnes being childish?" Nat intervened, leaning on the counter behind her. She seemed intrigued by this, though it wasnt unusual for Sam and Bucky to act like 5 year old children.

"The two of them always act like two year olds" Bruce sighed, though slight chuckles were to be heard. They all did enjoy when the two of them would act playfully.

Bucky then began to walk over to Sam, making granny hands at his sides taunting his friend. Sam backed up into a wall as he watched his friend nervously.

"Why did you have to wake up playful when we got a new kid!" He whined. Bucky just smirked at him. Sam handed his Coffee to Nat who placed it on the counter top before he legged it down a corridor, in which bucky followed giving him a head start.

You giggled at their silliness, it seemed nice. The way they all cared about each other yet were all do different.

"They'll be back soon" Steve chuckled as he handed a plate to you with some eggs on. "These are eggs, see the yellow orange piece is the yoke and the white is- the whites-" he hesitated before chuckling to himself, Steve explained the egg to you before Bruce explained what they actually were to you.

"BABIES?!"

"No! No"

Nat was now laughing at this new scene caused. You thought you were about to eat a baby chicken but the orgers tried to comfort you.

"Its okay, we eat these because they're good for us"

"So we eat- babies... because it's good for us?"

Even Steve had given up explaining and was just doubling down with laughter.

"No! No, they're okay, their not babies. The babies haven't grown yet, they-"

"Why are we eating it ?!?" You were panicking thinking you might kill it.

Even bruce began to give up hope and laughing.

"Y/n- it's okay to eat them, they arent babies" Bruce couldn't be bothered to explain it anymore, everyones laughter made you feel a little better but you were still worried for the egg. Steve convinced you to take a bite and cut it up for you. He handed you a fork with a piece on and you looked between everyone and the food.

"I'm sorry" you whispered to it, making everyone loose it before you are it.

Your eyes lit up because it did taste nice, and it didn't have that horrible wrong feeling when you've done something bad. You took another bite, and another. The others chuckling and eating their food while you finished up.

Just as you did Bucky walked in the room with a yelling and kicking Sam on top of him.

"BUCK PUT ME DOWN!!"

Bucky walked over to the couch and threw his friend down before climbing over his begging body. His gloved hands crawling up Sam's sides as he began to childlike giggle and slap Bucky's hands away.

"Is someone a little ticklish?" Bucky asked him as his fingers began to pick up pace and crawl up his friends ribs. Sam began to buck and squeal, rotating and doing anything to get his friend off.

"What are they doing?" You giggled, enjoying the scene with everyone else.

"Tickling, it makes people laugh"

"He looks silly" you giggled. You felt so welcome yet still so new but being as you were you couldn't help but giggle.

"BUCKYYYHEHEHE STAHAHAGAOPPPPO PLEASEEEEE" Sam begged as he tried to grab the super solider hands, he then retaliated and somehow got a hold of his hips, digging his thumbs in. Not Bucky's most ticklish place but good enough to make him loose balance and fall to the floor.

Sam sat above him and quickly began his attack on the soldiers ribs, staging for the gold. His laughter was deep and royal, it made you giggle even more, everyone in the room seemingly laughing harder at the tables turning in this tickle fight.

"Now whose ticklish buck? Redwing! Get in here and record this" Sam yelled as a red airplane mini like robot entered the room and flew over a screaming Bucky.

"SAMMMMM GET THAT SHIT OUTTAHAGA MY FACE! AHAH" he lifted his arms trying to cover his red blushing face as Sam's fingers coated his rib cage.

"Language!"

"SHUT UP STEHEHEVE! AHAHA COME HEHELP ME!!" Bucky was now howling with laughter, Sam knew that if he wanted any escape it would be to wear out his friend before escape. Only to his downfall the blond man walked over and pulled him off Buck's frailing body.

"STEVE YOU TRATOR!" Sam whined in the other super shoulders hold. They both watched over Bucky's worn out body giving off giggles not usually heard from the man.

Steve then threw sam onto the couch and came back to finish his food. Sam got up and walked over to you quickly,

"this, this doesn't count as our first meeting" He told you breathlessly, Bucky raised a hand and agreed. You nodded at them giggling away to yourself.

"Ughhh I'm gonna get you Sam" you all heard before Bucky began to rise.

"Oh what's that? Oh, oh that's uh- someone. Gotta go!" Sam bolted through the doors as Bucky swiftly followed him.

"Well that didnt takes long" Nat said after a while as you could all hear Sam begging and laughing in the corridors.