#crowley: never notices human beauty

[soughtknowledge]

@godpyre liked for a starter !

HIS HEAD lifts and his nose twitches . the smell is followed with bright yellow eyes hidden behind deep black sunglasses , until they land on a figure . a beautiful figure , even crowley can tell , and she's usually not particularly good at that with humans . but he looks like a statue , a painting , the art of times past , art created and revered that crowley misses dearly with every passing century . and here are those paintings made flesh .

but it wasn't the beauty that initially drew the demon . it was the SMELL . something off , too clean , too metallic . something not human . against every usual practice of the demon named crowley , she makes her way over .

[fuckyeahisawthat]

on switching places

So I’m sure you have noticed that during the whole end of episode 6 there is this beautiful bright light coming in the bookshop windows. From the east. Because it’s morning.

(Even if we didn’t know what time of day it was, we know what direction the light is coming from, because these windows are right above Aziraphale’s desk, which faces east.)

And after Crowley leaves the bookshop, he goes across the street, and Aziraphale keeps glancing toward the door and window, looking over at Crowley, hoping he’ll come back. (He always comes back.) The blocking in the scene with the Metatron, the one where Aziraphale almost decides to stay, is set up so that he’s looking the wrong way, toward the windows on his right instead of to his left, where Crowley should be. (And, when he seems closest to saying no, he steps back, right to the edge of that beam of light that almost seems like it’s from Crowley.) And we know that their blocking stays reversed (Crowley screen left, Aziraphale screen right) for the rest of the episode.

But also, Aziraphale is looking east. To what is normally his position, as guardian of the eastern gate.

Which got me thinking. What if they have switched places? Not literally in a bodyswap sense, but metaphorically in terms of their relationship to humanity.

They’re the serpent and the sword, right? Those Biblical symbols are already subverted in the story of Good Omens. The sword is something given to humans for their protection, not something meant to be used against them, to keep them out of paradise. (And in the world of Good Omens, leaving Eden looks a whole lot like escaping.) And the apple is framed as a positive symbol too. It’s knowledge, questions asked and answered, the ability to make your own choices. It’s freedom.

So what if they’ve switched roles, and by the end of season 2 Crowley has taken up Aziraphale’s position as the protector of humanity (as we saw him do with individual humans many times this season). We all know Crowley won’t actually be able to abandon humanity and the Earth when the chips are down. I think it’s highly likely that some part of season 3 will feature Crowley on the side of humanity against Heaven, probably in what he considers at that point to be a suicide mission, but he can’t just walk away.

And then what if, in season 3, we see Aziraphale take up whatever the equivalent of Crowley’s position would be in that plotline, as the character who grants freedom and choice to humanity in some way. (By freeing Earth from Heaven and Hell’s power? By figuring out how to give humans the choice to interact with angels and demons only if they want to? I don’t know exactly how this would play out, but it’s a fascinating idea to poke at.)

Of course I think they will ultimately end up working together and whatever happens will require their combined power, but I think it would be amazing if we saw this kind of role reversal. And it would fit with their character arcs: Crowley being the one who is ready to stand and fight even when it looks hopeless, and Aziraphale being the one who gives humanity the power to question, challenge and disobey Heaven.

Protection and freedom—those are their gifts to humanity. (The Bible might call it temptation, but there never was an apple that wasn’t worth the trouble you got into for eating it.) And it turns out that those are the exact same things Aziraphale and Crowley need for themselves. You can’t have one without the other. “Protection” without freedom is just control, and freedom without the ability to defend itself gets crushed by the forces that don’t want it to exist. And so their fates are tied to humanity, as they were from the beginning. And maybe humanity will be able to give them the same gifts in return.

[absolutelymarshmallow]

This is my favourite scene in the show

I never noticed how complex Crowley’s outfit is in this scene. There’s red embroidery, a black sash. The rob itself is supposed to be rough, heavy, grey.

However, in the first scene in the show, Aziraphale’s robes are light, white, cotton, gold embroidered, and two-pieced. A poncho, and a skirt. His outfit is supposed to look generic, like an angel uniform. Heaven adopted this odd, manufactured, cold neatness after the fall. 

Crowley’s outfit after the fall is more like a dress. It’s being held together by the black sash. It also looks more fitted to his body, and this makes me suspect that he made this himself. The Color scheme is also fitting to his hair.

Crowley had always been naturally dramatic, everyone knows that. However, I think this is his first minor ‘fuck you’ to hell. The heaven Color scheme is grey, white, tan, gold, and primarily purple. However, before, it was primarily gold and white. Aziraphale has ways opted for golds and whites as well, but he also has a love for browns and blues. This is how you know it’s a heaven uniform.

Hell’s color scheme in the beginning is yet to be observed but it’s probably not grey, black, and red. Those are all Crowley’s colors.

He’s been separating himself from hell since the very beginning. I say *first* ‘fuck-you’ because he had been wearing these robes before he gave humans the apple: an accidental good deed, the original good-natured rebellion.

Aziraphale has been accidentally doing ‘bad’ (or minorly negative) things since the beginning as well. He got caught up trying to save an angel, he gave away a sword, and most importantly he the concept invented war and weaponry in the human history.

I think this scene’s importance gets lost on a lot of people.

Aziraphale shielding Crowley is also very, very important, no matter how adorable. He, at this point, remembers Crowley. He looks guilty, nervous even, when he sees him slither up to him. Not just because he’s a snake, but you can see there’s something small and personal that he’s trying his best to hide. I think he knows.

Then, he learns his name for the first time, it just happens to be his demonic one. He never mentions his angel name, *never*, because he doesn’t know it. But more importantly, he doesn’t want to offend Crowley.

And yet they have a meaningful conversation, which is !also! very important. The first time he meets him as an angel,  Aziraphale looks like he’s flustered and smitten. He fell first, literally and figuratively. However,  Crowley isn’t at all interested in making conversation with this angel. He’s just excitedly talking about stars. Which, I admit, is adorable, but it wasn’t in any way of meaning other than that’s when they met.

Aziraphale realises how this *new* first, important conversation is utterly vital, in their relationship. Crowley is interested in Aziraphale, and he *does not remember him* at *all*. To Crowley, he’s lost all his memories now, which he regains later over a few millennia. I suspect, he’s regained all his memories by the book of Job, which is why he acts how he does.

Crowley falls in love immediately. Angels, fallen or otherwise, have shown him nothing but disrespect since he fell. And here’s this Angel trying to help him. Aziraphale indeed has guilt, but seeing someone he knew like this, wiped clean and ‘disfigured’ (or, beautiful), makes him realise what the fall actually *was*.

Just think.

An innocent star maker. And now he sees Crowley, the *real* Crowley. He’s witty, and fun, and outward. He’s making conversation, he’s comforting, he’s sarcastic.

He’s a real being.

And how neat.

So, he holds on. He shields him. Like he was shielded before, equally innocent and new to the universe, as Crowley’s now new to earth.

He sees himself.

Aziraphale is a lot more mature with how he treats Crowley in the beginning than people realise, but he loses that later once they start forming their own side, also in the book of Job.

Emotions are complicated. I know I’ve been talking for a long time, but I think it’s neat is all.

[dotster001]

Period Simulator

"TWST guys try a period simulator" request from @stygianoir

Summary: Vil/Malleus/Idia/Crowley/Crewel/Rook x gn!reader

CW:mentions of blood in Malleus' part, mentions of periods, but no mention of reader's gender. Has reader had a period, or do they just want to torture their boyfriend? That's up to you 😊

Part Two Part Three Part Four

"I got something at Sam's shop yesterday," you said as you entered your boyfriend's room. "He literally has everything!" You pulled out a machine from your bag. "It's a period simulator," you gave your best sad puppy eyes, "would you be willing to try it for me?"

Well…he could never deny you anything.

If it weren't for the sweat on his brow, you'd never know anything was different. You find yourself impressed by his ability to keep a calm facade up when he's in pain, but it does make you question how often he's in pain if it's this easy for him to get by.

He only cracks when you return to your room at the end of the day.

"Get this damned contraption off me!"

You've never heard Vil snap like that before, and the glare he gives you when you giggle is absolutely priceless. 

He makes you give him a lower back massage in the spot where the nodes were sitting. He won't let you stop until you're thoroughly worn out and ready to apologize for putting him through that.

Don't even bring up a labor simulator even as a joke. He might kill you.

His posture is atrocious, so the back pain is something he's used to. He acts all high and mighty until you turn up the nodes on his abdominals.

Immediately cries. Begins begging you to take them off. Starts offering you the royalties to every single invention he's ever made, if you just have mercy on him.

Ortho is very helpful in reminding him this is his own fault.

"'Period simulator? Psh, that's gonna be the easiest side quest ever. Even a noob could pull that off.' should I continue playing the audio?" God, you love that little robot.

Mans has only ever met people who were dead who experienced periods, so his ignorance is staggering. This definitely has opened his eyes to.

"Y/N, you know I love you more than anything right? Can you please save your boyfriend from the big bad machine?" He's looking at you with the prettiest pout and saddest eyes.

Maybe you should let him suffer a little more.

Takes it off immediately. It never comes up again.

Rook wants to go all the way with the roleplay. He agrees to use the period simulator if you bring him chocolate, and snuggle with him while you watch his favorite movie. Which isn't the point of the exercise, but he's so excited to "Experience this beautiful aspect of life that [he] could hardly fathom without your gentle guidance." So you kind of just give in.

Like Vil, you wouldn't know he's in pain. Unlike Vil, the way you know is that he's somehow even more affectionate and clingy than usual. Like how? How is it even possible?

Normally, when you snuggle, he's wrapping you in his arms so that he feels like he can protect you, (From what? Who have you killed?!) But today he wants your arms as tight around him as possible, like he's grounding himself.

Unlike Vil, he wants to try labor simulator. You take off the period simulator, and he pulls one out of his backpack, cause he's a weirdo. (I love you boo, but seriously, when did you buy that?)

The machine just blows up when you try to put it on him. He's more disappointed than you are, he was very curious about this human phenomena. You get access to two more, and both of them explode as well. Eventually, he finds a spell that just gives him the symptoms instead.

Unlike the machine….the spell does all of it. Cramps, blood, back pain, hormones; your boyfriend is a mess.

Tries to go about his day normally, but you get paged to his class halfway through, and find your sad fae man sobbing over his desk. Everyone around him is panicking, cause why the hell is the Malleus Draconia sobbing in magical history class?

When he notices your arrival, he poofs over to you, and teleports to a tower in the Valley of Thorns, with no doors or windows, and begs you to comfort him until the spell wears off in a few hours.

The way you care for Malleus actually earns you some Sebek points. He's much more accepting of your relationship after this. (Just don't tell him it was your idea, he doesn't know yet)

Malleus repays every kindness tenfold, no matter how trivial you think it is, so after this, he is buying you presents and food, and nuzzling his face against you like a cat whenever you two are together, no matter where you are. 10/10 recovery from our squishy boy.

Same vein as Vil and Rook. But unlike them, there are no tells that he is in pain. 

Halfway through the day, you ask him if it's even on. He confirms it is, and you're just left in shock at how tough your man is. (Like we all know, but come on! Give me something!)

Your only tell, if it even counts as a tell, is that when you pull away to go to your next class, he holds on for a second longer than usual.

At the end of the day, still doubting it was working, you put it on yourself, and quickly rip it off.

It's working.

He laughs, and cradles you close to his chest, assuring you that yes, he was in pain, but there's nothing he wouldn't push through for his best pup.

Why is he taking care of you? Seriously, he's perfect. You only wore that thing for a second, but damn, you'd think you were the one who wore it all day.

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

pt VI good omens s1e2, a totally all-inclusive summary i remember everything

i don't, that's a lie. i lie like aziraphale, rarely and badly but with great gaslight energy.

alright well let's not dawdle for 6000 years, i'll forget what i DO remember.

An angel named Gabriel who is not Jimbriel yet, so a foetus Jimbriel, gets into Aziraphale's bookstore and yells about pornography to keep humans from following him into Aziraphale's secret back chamber.

What they do there, I do not know. It is up to speculation. They talk and Aziraphale is flustered about Crowley, I think, but that's the whole show so far.

The intro sequence remains strange. Cartoon Aziraphale is an impregnated chicken, cartoon Crowley is the baby daddy.

There are witch hunters and they want to burn Agnes Nutter alive. I don't know who Anges Nutter is yet.

We cut to Agnes Nutter and I know I will never forget her. She is beautiful and a BAMF. A MILF. An absolute bombshell.

The bombshell part is literal. They set her on fire and she explodes, killing all those in a 100 metre radius. I want to be her.

I assume it is a witch thing, but then find out she put bombs under her skirts. I want to be her, but more ardently.

There is a book. She writes prophecies in it.

There are horsemen of the apocalypse, which I forgot was still happening. We are in present day.

War kills everyone. She is pretty. She is not Warlock, the kid whom Aziraphale and Crowley raised.

Famine is a sexy beast, and runs Michelin star restaurants. He likes tiny food. He is developing foodless food.

If there are others, I do not notice. There could be. There really could be. There probably are.

There is a girl who scribbles on the book from earlier. She grows up. I think she is War. I am wrong. This is probably a good time to mention to Tumblr that I have mild issues with facial recognition, which is totally not going to affect my understanding of what is happening at all.

She is named Anathema. That could be someone else. What is real? Not Neil Gaiman.

She finds the Antichrist and the Them, and they are all playing at a witch hunt. The Antichrist does not have an aura. Yellow is fear. Yellow is joy. I lose track of what is happening for several scenes.

Newt is works in an office. There is a power cut. Newt no longer works at an office.

Newt joins a witch hunt.

There is a delivery man. I think he is Newt. I am wrong. His name is something resembling Judy. It is an easy mistake, everyone's reaction to not-Newt-maybe-Judy is the same as that to Newt, deep protective love.

Crowley and Aziraphale steal a Bentley. Find a Bentley? I am unsure. I am too busy looking at Crowley.

Crowley speeds. Crowley likes speeding. They hit a motorbike that has maybe-Anathema. They pick her up and take her to a house somewhere. The Bentley plays Queen music. Everyone is very excited about this. Beepop.

Maybe-Anathema enters the house. This could have been before she finds the Antichrist. But if the show isn't linear I don't have to be either, I decide.

Crowley and Aziraphale panic a lot, but find time to eye each other hungrily and lovingly. They have priorities, and I respect that.

Crowley yells at his plants to grow better. He pretends to kill one of them. I cannot believe I was entirely right about my interpretation of that GIF. I am filled with confused anger. Later I find out that he is projecting how heaven told him he was a disappointment and threw him out. I am no longer angry. I am sad. This is an ongoing thing when it comes to Crowley.

A major plot point is Dog, the best friend of the Antichrist, having a face off with a fat tabby cat. Dog loses. It was doomed from the start.

Aziraphale gaslights gatekeeps and girlbosses. He assures heaven that everything is under control. It is not. That is okay. I think.

Heaven asks about Crowley. Aziraphale gets flustered. This is as per usual and he assures them that he is battling Crowley, who keeps him on his toes. I not-so-privately think that Crowley keeps him on his knees, really.

Things happen. I'm too busy thinking about Aziraphale's puppy eyes. He is a bitchy sweetheart. I love him.

More things happen. I'm too busy thinking about Crowley's sexy hips and shoulders and, well, everything.

The episode ends. I am still thinking about Crowley. I am always thinking about Crowley. Everyone is always thinking about Crowley.

This... this is all I remember. Have it, Tumblr.

[aziraphales-library]

Hi all! I've been craving some fantasy au slow burn but have been wanting something longer than 50k words (I want to be in for the long haul). I've been reading Beauty and the Beast AUs but I could work with something similar/fusion. (I've already read "The Serpent and the Angel" and "Choose Your Princes Wisely" and loved them both) If you can't manage fantasy au then post-s1 would work as well :)

Give me longing! Give me shy touches and stolen looks! Fluff, angst, and/or hurt/comfort, E rating is welcome. Thanks!

Hey. We have a #fantasy au tag, so check that out. There aren't loads of fantasy fics over 50k with slow burn/pining, so searching ao3 was really simple. Here ya go...

I’m Your Landsailor by IneffableDoll (T)

In a small seaside town called Tadfield, one of the last places on Earth where humans and magic coexist, an exiled selkie and a human who ran away from her life accidentally get themselves married in the oldest, most binding sense. The two are forced to stay together until they can find a way to undo it and free the other from their accidental marriage. It sure would be complicated if they started to fall for each other in the process…

through the silent wood by summerofspock (M)

When Aziraphale Eastgate first moves to Tadfield, he struggles to understand the strange culture of the village. They're not friendly or kind or anything he expected from a village in the north. So when he rescues a snake from a snow storm, he's glad for a little company even if it comes in the form of an animal. Unfortunately, in Tadfield, animals are often not what they seem.

Dragon's Heart by Slow_Burn_Sally (E)

“No dear Aziraphale. It must live” She answered him, and turned her gaze to the massive, sleeping beast. Just then Aziraphale noticed the great pool of dark blood that surrounded the thing where it lay. Blood from its wounds. He looked down at his feet and saw the dark blood pooling around his simple cloth shoes, soaking into the woolen fabric. He felt no revulsion or surprise over this. Only sadness and pity for the poor creature.  “It must live” the goddess repeated. “And you must go to it” Not one to refuse the request of a deity, Aziraphale nodded. “Very well then my Goddess” he replied. “When shall I go?” “At once” she replied. “And you must tell no one”

Faeted, Part One by megzseattle (G)

Ezra fell is an English professor at a prestigious academy for boys. Crowley is the lord of the Unseelie court in the lands without sunrise or moonfall. Somehow fate will bring them together.

Cast the Stone and Create the Ripple by The_Bentley (E)

Crowley stared at him, yellow eyes narrowing. “You’ll have to excuse me for not trusting you. Never encountered your kind before. I suggest you get out of here because this much blood in the water is going to attract sharks.” He twisted around, attempting once again to try to dive into the depths, but without his tail free that was proving impossible. He struggled even harder upon seeing his so-called rescuer pull a knife out of his belt. “Not without you,” the land-dweller replied. “Hold still, please. These nets are meant to dig into skin the more one moves.” “If you're going to kill me, please make it quick. Long, painful discorporations seem like a bad way to go.” Prince Crowley is investigating the damage fishing vessels are doing to crops and homes in his father's underwater kingdom. Prince Aziraphale is supposed to be learning to become a scribe. Their worlds are about to collide, putting Crowley's life in danger and revealing that the land-dwelling angels and ocean-dwelling merdemons just might not be that different after all. (Rated T until Chapter 11 when it becomes more NSFW.)

Omens Of Another Kind by WorseOmens (NR)

Crowley is the Dullahan, a notorious omen of death. Happily ever after isn’t in the job description; he’ll soon meet someone who begs to disagree. (Good Omens Folklore AU)

- Mod D

[biceratops7]

Not to rot everyone's swiss cheese brains further,

but Aziraphale was throwing that ball for Crowley. No seriously, he was throwing that ball for Crowley.

We all got so distracted by the cheeky little "Wait and See" that we never stopped to think about what it actually means. Cause at first glance it makes no damn sense. "Wait and see" ...for what? The big ridiculous Jane Austen ball Crowley already knows is happening?

Look at the way he ushers Crowley away here. Why?? Wouldn't it make more sense if Crowley was included in the planning of this event he's fully aware of and is the result of a fuck up he's exactly half responsible for?

The reason is simple, it's because the chance to try and do something romantic for once just fell into Aziraphale's lap. At some point very early on he realized that this damn ball can finally... finally be the precisely right time, and precisely right place. And above all, safe. An "independent embassy", as he so proudly states later on. 6,000 years of hiding what's clearly a blossoming relationship under the threat of harm to both of you takes a massive toll. He doesn't really get to bridge that gap whenever he's ready. After all they've been through and how many times they almost lost each other, Aziraphale wouldn't dare do something like this without a plausible excuse. He won't put Crowley in danger, even if its to show he loves him.

So then that leaves Aziraphale with very little options, but he's doing all he can to make the best of the rare opportunities they do have. Some celebratory wine, a fond glance over some candle light (pfft, for the war effort, of course! As an angel it's his duty to set a good example on how to conduct one's self in a blitz, Obviously), etc. He doesn't just have the spur of the moment plan to invite Crowley to dance (which is what Crowley was "smelling" btw), It's about giving him this whole experience that on any other day, Aziraphale never gets to give him. He wants to make Crowley feel special, to have him walk into this beautiful, romantic place that he's never seen before and be invited to dance, to have a simple, fun time.

Unfortunately that doesn't happen, even before things go south. Crowley's way too anxious to even notice any of this. But Aziraphale doesn't let this phase him, he's waited too long and is just unshakably excited to participate in such a human expression of affection. He truly believes the shop is safe, so he patiently soothes Crowley's anxieties while firmly not letting him miss out on this romantic evening he planned.

In other words, Aziraphale has picked up the pace. He's gonna shoot his damn shot and he's gonna do it properly.

[thedemonknownasbilly]

Awesome!

If you're willing, could I request headcanons for Aziraphale x Crowley x gender neutral reader where reader is chubby and insecure about their appearance?

Oh, Darling - HC for Ineffable Husbands with Chubby!Reader

Absolutely! Sorry for the delay, it was around midnight for me when I replied to the first anon, and I was just knocked out right after!

Ineffable Husbands x GN!Reader

Any and all pet names/compliments are meant as GN!

Mentions ED/Skipping meals (that’s more of a personal touch on my end as someone who is a bit curvier than average)

So let’s cover how they treat you separately, since as much as they try to be, they aren’t always attached at the hip.

Crowley

To be honest it took him a minute to even notice, ethereal (occult) beings don’t typically fuss or pay attention to “human flaws”

You guys would have met at the park bench, he was waiting for Aziraphale, and his was the only bench with a spot open.

“Could I sit here?”

“Hm?” He’d look up from his newspaper and will any blush on his cheeks to discorporate “yeah, yeah, he’s running late so I’m sure I’ll be leaving soon.”

You’d start talking to the ducks, and he was a goner, slowly joining in your conversation and just having a grand time with you.

When Aziraphale finally showed up, Crowley left you his number and told you to text him the next time you wanted to talk about anything.

He gushed about you and your knowledge of ducks to Aziraphale, who teased his husband over this crush.

After a good thousand texts, a few hang outs, and Aziraphale’s okay after a lengthy conversation, Crowley asked you out, and ofc you said yes.

He absolutely adores your curves, never seeing them as a flaw.

Won’t stand for any blasphemy you might have to say against it.

He will happily curl himself around you, slender fingers on your hips as he adorns you in kisses.

He notices some days you’ll shy away from his touch, and he never wants you uncomfortable.

But one day you had shied away all day, (he always kept track) he’d even say you were almost flinching from his touch.

This worried him, every situation he conjured in his head was that he had upset you or maybe that you didn’t even love him anymore.

So it certainly made you have to repress a sad giggle when you saw those sad yellow eyes look up at you as he asked, “is there another?”

“Never in a million years, my darling.” And with that he relaxed and sat beside you, noticing how you pressed yourself to the side of the couch.

“Then what’s with this, why won’t you let me touch you..?” He was always big on boundaries and respect, but usually he was given a sort of heads up, not just thrusted into a new rule.

“It’s silly…”

“If it’s important to you, it’s important to me.”

You’d go on to explain everything, how you’d always been the bigger kid, how the curves and rolls of your body often were topics of things your exes hated about you. The bullying, the lack of food, the unaffordable research on surgery even. “But even then, I’m scared you’ll realize I’m not worth the pain that a human comes with if I’m not attractive enough.”

Crowley listened intently, he always would, but he couldn’t deny that he hated what he was hearing. “Let me touch you, please.”

And when you shyly nodded, his hands were on your thighs as he surged forward and pressed his lips to yours.

“I don’t give two fucks about human beauty. You’re perfect for me.” He’d growl out as he moved to kiss down your jaw and neck, pressing his lips to every stretch of skin he could reach. “Think I give a fuck? Really? Ask Aziraphale how much we go to the Ritz, think to every time I’ve asked you. At first I figured it wasn’t your cup of tea. Not that you were treating yourself so downright wrong.”

You couldn’t help to giggle at that, and he looked up at you. “I would really like to go to lunch with you, and if it helps, we can invite the angel.”

Having Aziraphale there did help, he was enjoying his food without a care in the world for any leering eyes, and you did the same, blushing as your boyfriend adored you and his husband.

He was always there, especially now that he knew, always behind you when you stood too long in the mirror, hands on your hips as he’d whisper praises and compliments into your ear, making you repeat a few on the worst days.

Aziraphale

Once again, Aziraphale would hardly count it as the first thing he noticed. He certainly wasn’t the most slender figure himself even by human standards.

You two would meet at Maggie’s Record Shop. He was there to pick up something new and you were browsing for your favorite CDs to be on record.

He was thrilled to see Maggie have a customer and swore than if he had put a heart into his form that it would be pounding out of his chest.

He’d hurry to the Record Shop every time he saw you in the windows, finally after four run-ins, you introduced yourself to him.

You would be the only person regularly allowed into the bookshop.

Crowley had met you numerous times since, and he even encouraged his angel to ask you out. So Aziraphale finally did.

He soon found his favorite spot was to have his head on your lap, your fingers scratching against his scalp as you two would listen to whatever he’d put on the record.

He noticed one day though when you seemed to be fidgeting before he laid down, and it took him a moment to realize you were trying to make yourself look smaller.

“My darling, what are you doing?” He asked carefully, sitting beside you and placing a hand on your thigh.

Something about such a simple question and gesture made you break down, explaining how you wanted to be perfect, that you wished you looked more like Crowley did so that these treacherous thoughts would leave your mind.

Aziraphale was concerned, feeling a twist in his stomach as he carefully pulled you onto his lap, a position you tried to protest, but when he whispered out a “for me, please,” you couldn’t say no.

“My darling, having one of Crowley is more than enough. I’m quite happy to have you as you are, wouldn’t dream of asking you to change in any way.”

He’d listen to every thought you had, giving you all of his attention as his thumbs trace circles on your thighs and hips, and when you were done, he’d counter every argument with his own, explaining gently that he had truly never paid much attention to your own weight, that it was your soul and personality he adored.

“But you are quite gorgeous, I found myself aching to see you everyday before I got to know you. I’d sit right here at my desk, and wait, hoping you’d come back.” He would cup your face as he said that, “I’m not perfect by human standards either, I chose this form, why on earth would I make you change when certainly I could be in a better body for you as well.”

He always watched out for signs of those thoughts creeping back in, but everyday, he’d end it by kissing you everywhere before bed, murmuring praises and compliments against your skin like a prayer.

Ineffable Husbands

You had ventured into the bookshop on a rainy day, noticing a red and black snake perched on a sweater in the warmest spot he could be in.

“Aren’t you adorable?” You’d coo, looking around for anyone to ask before whispering to the snake, “can I pet you?”

At that the snake opened one yellow eye, looked you up and down and nodded, very human like you thought, but you carefully rested a finger against his head, between his eyes, and stroked down his body, watching as the snake seemed perfectly happy with such actions and melted back into the sweater.

Soon the owner emerged from the back, “oh I do apologize, I was fetching some lanterns incase we lost power.” He said, Aziraphale you’d learn his name was, he certainly had a small look of shock on his face when he saw Crowley allowing you to stroke him.

“So,” Aziraphale talked to the snake when you had left hours later, “I take it someone likes them?”

“Me?” Crowley slithered onto the floor and changed forms, “what about you excitedly prattling on and showing them every book of every topic they mentioned. You even let them take one home.”

“They’re bringing it back!” Aziraphale chuckled in an effort of protest.

“Oh, sweet love of mine, I think we both fancy them.” // “Indeed it seems we both do, I hope they spend more time with us soon.”

Months later, you had learned that Crowley was the snake from that day, not being horrified but instead it made you reach up without thinking and gently stroke his hair, if demons could actually melt he was certain he’d be a puddle on the floor of the bookshop, Aziraphale had gone to fetch you a new book, and Crowley trapped you onto the couch, seemingly having no joints as he curled himself around you as best he could; his head on your shoulder.

“Crowley, dear, can’t hog them to yourself now.” And Aziraphale sat beside you, hand on your waist (under Crowley) and a head on your shoulder. “I think it’s fair that we say, well, we like you. The both of us.”

You giggled at the obvious statement and turned to kiss him as his answer, hearing Crowley whine and giving him a kiss right after.

Within the next two months, you had also moved into the flat above the bookshop, which made it easier for your two loves to see just how much you seemed uncomfortable with yourself.

“When’s the last time they ate?” Crowley murmured one day, swearing that he hadn’t seen you eat all day, or the day before.

“A while, I’m worried.” With that, they both searched for you, not expecting to find you curled up under the blankets with tear stains on your cheeks.

“Darling, what’s wrong?” The with sit on the edge of the bed, Aziraphale’s hand stroking your hair and Crowley’s rubbing your back.

“Got in my head…” you’d murmur, striking concern within them as they soon encouraged you to lay in the middle of the bed, Aziraphale to your front and Crowley to your back.

Crowley’s hand never leaving your hips as he pressed kisses to you, “don’t hide from me,” he’d say when he felt you trying to will your body further into the bed. And when Aziraphale finally asked what was wrong, you told them everything from childhood, to today, “I just want to be attractive enough for an angel and a demon, like those other ones are.”

“My dear,” Aziraphale said rather seriously, “you are more than attractive enough, haven’t we shown that?” Crowley still pressing kisses made your mind seem fuzzy with bliss as Aziraphale kissed your lips, seemingly trying to pour every ounce of his adoration into it.

They would spent hours telling you about every part of you they loved, leaving no room for any insecurities, mentally or physically.

“I quite like you at this size, more for me to hold, just like with ‘Ziraphale.”

“And besides, while you may be human, we aren’t, I assure you, Crowley could pick us both up and not break a sweat.”

They’d take turns whenever an insecurity seemed to pop back up on bad days, whichever notice would help you for hours, making sure you never felt less than with them.

[yuri-is-online]

ooohh 500 already?? it feels like the 300 special was just a few weeks ago ✧⁠\⁠(⁠>⁠o⁠<⁠)⁠ﾉ⁠✧ can i get prompt 6 with ace and deuce together?? hehe congrats again, more milestones to come!! (⁠*⁠＾⁠3⁠＾⁠)⁠/⁠～⁠♡

6. Crowley has decided to put together a murder mystery for the whole ball and you've been the first one "killed." Whoever is playing detective seems really upset about that.

So I was uncertain if by together you meant Aduece + Yuu or Ace + Yuu and Deuce + Yuu. As it stands, I had an idea for Aduece + Yuu and requests for Ace and Deuce separately, so this post will contain Aduece + Yuu. I'm confused just writing that, but I hope it makes sense. If this is not what you wanted, you are more than welcome to make a second request. There is no time limit on that.

notes: they/them used for Yuu, what's worse than one angry guard dog? Two angry guard dogs! Or is it two and a half if you count Grim I guess. The other event requests can be found on my masterlist.

Aduece

"And our first victim for tonight will be the prefect! I would have expected them to be the last victim how very odd." Crowley almost sounds sympathetic and you almost sound interested, you even let out a little "oh no" almost relived whoever was playing the murderer had decided to give you such a nice excuse to sit the next rounds of what you are certain is going to turn into a massive dick measuring contest. Grim does not share your gracious nature.

"This is bullshit!" He thrashes around in your embrace making grabby paws at the gathered crowd as if he is really going to make Mr. X regret killing you. "Just my hench human's name got pulled, why's that mean I gotta go?!"

"Aww, Grimmy, it's ok, we all know you'd be next." Ace laughs but there's a strange strain to it. He's run his fingers nervously through his hair several times now, and now that you've noticed he tries a more familiar smile, dropping his hand to tap his thigh instead. "Don't wait up for us, ok? Juice and I aren't going home anytime soon." You roll your eyes at the joke before giving both your friends a quick hug.

"For luck." You say with a quick wink before shuffling yourself and Grim up to the balcony soothing him with promises of food that you're sure will still be up there.

As soon as you are gone all pretense between the two drops as they both look at the identical cards they had been bickering over just a few moments earlier.

"I still think we should tell the headmage." Is what Deuce says, but he's missing his usual determination Ace finds so cute and yet so annoying every time he suggests the three of you cut class. "When he was explaining the rules he clearly said that there was only supposed to be one ca-"

"Then he can just deal with looking stupid." Snaps Ace. "It's not like he ever does anything else. Look can't you hear what they're saying about Yuu?" It's a low blow, they both can hear the snickering of the usual suspects, but Deuce grinds his teeth particularly sharply to find so many new people joining in. "They think it's funny." Ace says, voice dropping low and deathly serious with what he tells himself is just the intention to rile Deuce up. They both look up at the gallery, Yuu looks.... happy. Content with their lot as if they never expected any other outcome. It's beautiful, that carefree smile that turns into a pure beam once they notice the two of them looking up at them, and there is something breathtaking about knowing only the two of them can bring it out.

That seals it. Lovely as it is, the sight is wrong. You should be down here between the two of them laughing at the loosers who thought they were good at hiding themselves among the masses. Surprisingly, it's Deuce who takes the lead, turning away from Yuu and placing a firm hand on Ace's shoulder to convince him to do the same.

"It's probably one of the guys from one of the other classes." Class 1A wasn't completely loyal to each other, this was NRC after all, but all of them like the three of you. And they all knew better than to do anything to you when Ace and Deuce had you sat snugly between them like you had been all night. "If I had to make a guess, it's probably one of the guys from Leona's class."

"What makes you think it's an upper classmen?" Whispers Ace, shaking himself together and yanking Deuce back to the center of the ballroom to get a better look at the crowd.

"They wouldn't be afraid of us. And any Savanaclaw students in Leona's class would have a bone to pick with Yuu after that whole incident with Azul." It's surprisingly solid reasoning from Deuce, real proof he could probably hack it as a Magic Marshal, and Ace makes sure to take note so he can tease him about it later. But he's not entirely sold on it being pure skill that's gotten Deuce this far.

Seriously Ace thought beastmen were supposed to be good at hunting.

"Hey there, buddy." Ace throws an elbow into the Savanaclaw extra's side (partially to throw him off by annoying him but mostly to keep Deuce from jumping him immediately). "Having fun tonight? I'd have thought a big guy like you would find this whole thing boring."

"What's a fresh punk like you know about that?" His snort would be low and intimidating if Deuce wasn't so angry. "It's always the weakest links that get picked off first, I don't have to worry about shit till later."

"Oh you mean like Epel?" The upperclassman stiffens at Deuce's question, line of sight snapping away from their oblivious friend and back to the now maniacly grinning freshman who has decided to forcefully elbow his other side. Ace gives a laugh that would make Floyd proud as Deuce continues. "Cause I know you wouldn't be planning on him being your next victim, unless you really are as dumb as you look."

"What the hell are you!"

"Oi headmage!" Yells Ace, making sure to flourish the detective card in a way he very smugly thinks only he could. "We got your guy, bag him and tag a better one in next time, yeah?"

A general groan comes up from the crowd with how quickly the game is over, with Crowley quickly agreeing to another round as you once again find yourself sandwiched between your bickering friends.

"Oh come on there's no way the headmage intended for you to be the detective." Ace huffs, head firmly rested on your lap so he can glare up at Deuce resting on your shoulder. "I'm the one always taking care of you two, clearly it was intended for me."

"I'm the one who caught the killer though." A kinder version of that manic grin is firmly fixed to Deuce's face as you sigh and check the time on your phone wondering if they'll get in trouble with Riddle if they stay up here with you longer.

"Boys Boys, you're both pretty." That shuts them up, but maybe not for the reason you think. "But won't you lose your heads if you stay here much longer?"

"Eh I'm sure Riddle will understand." Ace smiles and though Deuce sputters in hesitation he makes now move to leave. "Besides, if he does not, we'll just bunk with you tonight."

"You're worth the trouble." Says Deuce, with a bit more force than usual and you sigh.

"Honestly, I should be saying that to the two of you." And though it should be said with a bit more meaning, instead you say it with a laugh.

A laugh that's quickly returned.

[ira-hydrangea]

Replaced Mc? Not really... Never. Part 2

Note: Seems like all of you have deep anger toward the Replaced MC AU 😅. Where Mc is have been replaced by supposed to be a 'better one'. Oh well, we face the same problem then 😂. And as you wish for. This is the second part of it.

Summary: The new student's sacrifice has finally arrived at The Mirror Hall. The new girl is someone that has a certain strange obsession with someone. But little did she knows, how far the NRC will go for the sake of the plan. Even if they need to hold down their disgust.

Extra Note: The MC will be referred as Y/n

Previous Chapter || Next Chapter?

A new magicless human is a girl by the name, Eva. She comes stumbling down from the coffin and looks around in confusion. Until a step can be heard walking toward him. There she meets a strange man with a mask.

"Uh... Hello? Who are you and what am I doing here?"

"Oh my! To think we will have another magicless student here." Crowley said as he helped the girl out of the coffin. The said girl looked at him in confusion. And then Crowley proceeds to tell her a story. It was the story of how NRC is established and its history.

Eva can never believe her ears. All her life, her dreams to visit the magical world have finally come true. It has always been her wildest dream. She can not contain herself when Headmaster Crowley allows her to attend NRC while searching for a way home.

Now that part is done, there is another wish that she always wanted. To meet a prince and married him and she will become the Queen.

The first student, she meets is Silver. He is requested by the headmaster to show her the ways inside the NRC. The rest of the students have been kind as they greet her in the warm way. (As they are told to do by their dorm leaders)

For the past few weeks, life for her has been great. Especially when you are the only female student in a school full of boys. There is no competition and no one can compare to her beauty. Well, until she meets with MC and the first-year gang.

She looks confused when looking at Y/n from far away. She never meets students like them. Their beauty is even more than her and seeing how the boys flock around them in worried makes her clench her fist unconsciously.

"Ace~ Good Morning~" She decides to suck it up and approach the group.

"Oh... Good morning to you too, Eva." Ace said. She starts a little conversation while looking at Y/n. Ace noticed that reluctantly introduced each of them.

"I see... Nice to meet you, Y/n~. My name is Eva." She said cutely. Y/n smiled as she want to shake hands with Eva but Epel just calmly held Y/n's hands in a tight grip.

"Epel? Uh... I'm sorry for this. My name is Y/n. " Y/n said with a soft smile. But before Eva can continue the questions, the bell rang.

"Y/n. You need to go to class now before the professor starts to get angry." Jack reminded. Y/n can only look at Eva with apologetic looks and leave with the rest of the first year and Grim, leaving Eva all alone behind. The looks in Eva's eyes can be described as pure hatred.

After the meeting, Y/n will find herself in a weird situation. Eva will try everything she could to make sure Y/n is out of the frame and away from her happily ever after.

It starts with simple rumors that she tries to spread. With watery eyes, she tries to tell her version of the story of how Y/n is bullying her, and when asked what Y/n does, she starts to exaggerate it. But the other student's response?

"Huh? Are you sure that is Y/n you are seeing? They have been staying with the Octavinelle trio all day. And for these past few weeks, they have been quite sick."

While the staff and teachers?

"Young miss. I can not believe your mouth will spit out such nonsense. Return to your class and I will pretend that this conversation never happened." Said Crowley.

Train only look at her in disgust. "To think such a lie will come out from the lady. Perhaps I should think twice before giving the title lady to you."

Crewel glared at her, "If you, little pup even have time to spout such nonsense, shouldn't you use your time to review your material? I didn't want to hear some excuses that you come from a different world and need time to adjust. Y/n can even adjust themselves in less than a week. If they can and so can you."

Sam only smiled an eerie smile before the shadows behind him grow larger. "Be careful about what you said, little imp~ After all, you won't know what is lurking in the shadows."

Vargas only laughs before telling her to run more if she has the energy to speak like that.

Oh, how she is fuming with anger deep within when that plan is fail. The next target, she tries to test is the dorm leaders, first one is Kalim. But even Kalim brushed off her attempt and simple laugh.

"Y/n is not that type of person. Perhaps some other students want to tease you so they decide to do it as Y/n. Haha, I'm sure it will pass."

Every attempt she tries to do is never working. Y/n has held something that Eva could never have. The respect and love from the NRC.

As Eva tries to do her next plan to move Y/n out of the pictures, she starts to think of some clever plan. This would be her master plan to make sure Y/n is out of pictures, once and for all...

A dark figure has seen the whole things happen and how dark Eva's heart has become. He smirks. Another student soon teleported behind him as he look at Eva with a red eyes.

"You can't seem to wait for the result, My prince~" Lilia smiled.

"All of us can't wait for the result. Now, it only needs a little bit more push before the fruits can finally be reaped."

"Fufu~ We can't wait for that day to come... So, our little lamb, hurry up and grow. Grow to be the person with the darkest heart. So, we can save someone with the pure heart~"

With that, Lilia's eyes gleam red while Malleus's eyes glow bright green as they look at Eva with a smirk. Meanwhile, Y/n has been sleeping peacefully inside the Diasomnia dorm. Ignorant to the fate that soon will befall Eva.

Tagged: @ladykitsunesworld @shutsuyuri

@lilqi @fancyhawk45 @probablynoposts @justakiro @blue-yucca @loving-tartarus @sxftiebee

I'm sorry if there are a few of you that still don't get tagged. If you want to be tagged for this series then you can leave a comment or put it in my ask.

Extra information, my 1.000 event followers are still open. You can check it out here. The next part will be out after the event (I think...). Until then, you can give some more suggestions in this comment or my inbox. I see you in the next part of the story.

[whocaresaboutdecent]

Thanks @theriverspath for inspiring this fic by asking for a fic where Crowley creates a new type of pansy for Aziraphale after seeing this beautiful fan art by @nim-lock :)

Rated: General Audiences | Read on Ao3 | Warnings: Implied / Referenced Homophobia & Homophobic Language

***

Aziraphale and Crowley were sitting in the hindmost corner of a crowded pub when someone called Aziraphale a pansy for the first time. Aziraphale blinked, astonished, and turned to see who had spoken. But the speaker had already disappeared into the crowd.

“I don't understand,” Aziraphale said, frowning, as he turned back to Crowley. “Why would anyone use the name of such a lovely flower as an insult?”

Crowley shifted uncomfortably, his eyes scanning the room for any lingering threats. “Uh, I don’t think they were talking about the flower, angel.”

Aziraphale’s confusion deepened. “Then what were they talking about?”

Crowley found himself in a conversation he really didn’t want to continue, but Aziraphale’s questioning gaze left him with no choice. Reluctantly, he explained the slur's intended meaning.

Aziraphale’s eyes widened, scandalised.

“I'll never understand why someone would use an insult against people who love each other.” He shook his head in disbelief.

Crowley shrugged. “Humans seem to think your boss disapproves.”

“Certainly not!” Aziraphale exclaimed. His eyes narrowed as he scrutinised Crowley. “Wait, wasn't that your side's doing?”

Crowley raised his hands in mock defense. “Nah, not as far as I know. My lot would never get in the way of people succumbing to lust, would they?”

Aziraphale sighed, and they both muttered in unison, “Humans.”

In the silence that followed, they shared a knowing look, a look only two supernatural entities having spent most of their eternal lives learning the ways of humans could share.

“Pansies are such beautiful flowers,” Aziraphale said after a pause, lifting his chin stubbornly. “I refuse to let that word be anything but a compliment.”

Crowley rolled his eyes, as was probably expected from a demon witnessing such an approach to an insult. That's not what they had been invented for after all. But secretly he thought Good for you, angel.

As time passed, Crowley noticed Aziraphale’s resolve beginning to falter. Each time someone hurled the word at him, the angel’s smile grew more strained, as if every incident drained more of his resolution not to be affected. Crowley’s concern deepened, and one evening, after yet another such encounter, he decided to do something about it.

Though never very fond of the blooming variety of plants, Crowley found himself acquiring pansy seeds and setting to work. He nurtured them with care, his thoughts always on the light, clear blue of Aziraphale’s eyes. He willed the flowers to bloom in the perfect shade, but it was harder than he thought—they never turned out the way he wanted them to. They were too small, the colour too pale, the shape of the petals not quite right. Still, he persisted.

They were the only plants he never yelled at.

He’d tried, once, but going too fast, expecting too much too soon, had made the delicate flowers wither. No, he realised he needed to be patient, cautiously coaxing them from the protective dark earth with gentle, encouraging whispers and the lightest touch. He watched them absorb water and nutrients, growing stronger, more vibrant, more like the vision in his mind.

When they finally bloomed into the perfect shade of blue, Crowley was unexpectedly moved by the result. The pansies didn’t just resemble Aziraphale; they felt like him, radiating a quiet love.

Crowley hadn’t thought he could create something like that anymore.

He didn't dare to give the flowers to Aziraphale. They were too personal, too revealing of the feelings he kept hidden behind his sharp exterior. The idea of giving them to Aziraphale felt both overwhelming and insufficient. So he kept them hidden in his flat, seeking their company whenever his longing became too intense to bear.

Aziraphale didn’t get to see them until they moved into their cottage.

Crowley chose a spot visible from Aziraphale’s favourite reading chair to plant them in the garden, so whenever the angel looked out the window, the sight of the pansies would remind him of the compliment he truly deserved.

“These pansies are beautiful, my dear,” Aziraphale said softly, his voice full of admiration.

Crowley flinched, startled by Aziraphale’s voice from behind him. He had been so absorbed in tending to the flowers that he hadn’t heard Aziraphale approach.

Gentle fingertips brushed his nape in a silent apology. He closed his eyes for a moment, savouring the gesture.

“Um …,” Crowley began, forcefully reminding himself that there was no reason to uphold the pretense of demonic nonchalance anymore. “Actually, angel,” he continued, wiping his hands on his trousers as he hesitated, his heart pounding in his chest. He sat back on his heels, looking at Aziraphale standing next to him as he finally confessed, “I … created them for you.”

“For me?” Aziraphale’s voice trembled slightly, his face glowing with surprise and something that Crowley still struggled to understand, something that made him indescribably happy.

“Yeah,” Crowley murmured, avoiding the tender gaze that was too much to handle. “You said you’d only take ‘pansy’ as a compliment, right? So… I made these as a… as…” Crowley struggled to continue as his mouth went dry.

“As a compliment?” Aziraphale finished softly, his voice thick with emotion.

Crowley nodded, his throat tight. “Yeah.”

Aziraphale’s smile was radiant. “Oh, Crowley, thank you. They’re perfect.”

Crowley couldn't help but smile to himself as he dug a hole to plant the first pansy. That had been his point exactly.

[hoshinoyozora]

Tale of the Timeless Couple

🖤 Pairing: Yandere! Malleus Draconia x Female! Reader

💛 Word Count: 1,1k+

❤ Warnings: -

[Edited]

Do not re-upload my writing to another website or use it without my permission. Also, don’t ask for a sequel unless I like the story enough to write one. Please reblog so other people can see my stories!

Youths were known for their naivety, and just like many others, it was the cause of your downfall too.

Beguiled by the promise of happily ever after, as shown in those romantic movies and books, you’d mindlessly agreed to eternal life with your soon-to-be husband, Malleus Draconia. It was especially enforced by the bitter knowledge that Crowley had never intended for you to return, and that you’d have no means of funding yourself after graduation due to the lack of necessary documents. It was either you marry a rich man and become slightly more ‘recognized’ as the proper citizen of Twisted Wonderland, or doomed to work as a maid in someone else’s house. Malleus, of course, saw no error in your judgment, despite the seeming shallowness of it, and swiftly carried out your transformation.

Due to your relationship with him, you’d always been a part of his little family. But only now did you fully integrate into it, into their lifestyle. The Draconia Family. The Royal Family.

It was blissful in the first few years, as many marriages were, burdened only by the new responsibility of being a ruler to both humans and dark creatures. Malleus and Lilia helped you with the Royal affairs, while Silver and Sebek familiarized you with the Draconia knighthood system. Sometimes, Malleus’s grandmother would visit and chat with you, offering either piece of valuable advice or rumors that would aid you in some way. You weren’t really allowed to go anywhere anymore, and definitely not without tight security. But Malleus permitted you to attend your friends’ weddings, just as how he permitted them to attend yours; a visit that excited nearly the guests in there due to it being a Royal one, and thus, exclusive.

Their occasional letters were probably the highlight of your day, and you thanked Malleus for having the bigger heart not to get jealous and cut off the only connection to your past and humanity. Your heart warmed when you saw pictures of their babies, noting all the resemblances in their features, and mused about what kind of face your child would have.

It was serene.

Until it wasn’t anymore.

Perhaps it began when you received Deuce’s letter containing a photo of him and Ace in an overdue reunion at a restaurant. Your eyes, sharper from the transformation, noticed all signs of aging on their faces. Instinctively, you touched yours and felt only the youthful smoothness of the skin. You rushed to the mirror, and your stomach sank once you realized the signs would never appear in you. For some, it might be a blessing. But for you, it only served to remind you of what you lost.

Your humanity, in all its glory. Ugliness and beauty. The smoothness and the wrinkles.

And then, several years went by, until Jack passed away peacefully in his sleep, surrounded by his big family. You mourned in your office whilst clutching the letter Ace sent to you, unable to attend the funeral without messing with everyone’s schedules.

Black was the color of the Draconia family, but that day, it took on a special meaning.

Ace followed, still a mischievous man to his old age with a more tamed pride. Deuce remained as a policeman until a particularly nasty magic incident occurred, leaving Epel as your only living friend. No longer fixated on the idea of a ‘manly man’, he confessed to you that he was actually lonely. His wife had long died, and his children had all grown up and moved out of the house. You wished you could’ve visited and comforted him, but once again, duty was your obstacle.

Until you belatedly found out that Epel had suffered a heart attack after helping with his family’s farm.

“What are you thinking about, my love?”

A pair of arms hugged your swollen stomach from behind, but you remained motionless as you gazed through the window. Malleus rested his chin on your shoulder and stared at your profile.

“Well?”

“Nothing much.”

“You know better than to lie to me, my love.” said he, twirling a lock of your hair with his left finger. “If you have a problem, you can talk to me and we shall find a solution together.”

Malleus wouldn’t understand that the problem you had was beyond repair, and you feared his response should you reveal the truth.

“All of my friends died, Malleus. Except Sebek, but he’s just a guard to me now.”

“Humans have always had short lifespans.”

You flinched, and you wondered why you reacted that way when you were basically near immortal now. Perhaps some human instincts hadn’t fully disappeared yet.

“I miss them.”

Malleus fell quiet, and your heartbeat slowly picked up with each second passed in silence.

“It is a normal reaction,” he drawled as though empathy was something unfamiliar to him. “and you’ll get over it in due time.”

You wetted your lips, preparing yourself to ask the question that had been haunting you.

“What would you do… if I were to go home?”

“You don’t think I’d allow you to do it, do you?”

You stiffened in his embrace.

“… What?”

“Crowley had always been very slow when it comes to finding your way home, but he hadn’t completely stopped until I ordered him otherwise.”

Your stomach dropped.

“Luckily, you learned that it was futile to place any hope on him, so I wouldn’t have to inform you anything.”

“Why…?”

“Why? Because we were meant to be together, of course. The moment you agreed to be my lover is the moment you agreed to be mine forever.” Malleus sighed blissfully, tightening his hold on you. “And it doesn’t really matter whether you accepted my proposal or not, although it does make everything a whole lot easier. I don’t wish to hurt you, after all.”

You were mistaken. You were horribly mistaken. There was no happily ever after in marrying him. Financially, yes, but mentally? Literally?

“What about my friends?”

“I told you, they’re humans. They have terribly shorter lifespans than ours. Therefore, I don’t need to worry about them so much. Not when they’ll die sooner or later.” Malleus hummed, swaying your body in an invisible yet haunting tune. “Although, of course, I still have to supervise all of your correspondence.”

It was understandable, and you should’ve expected it. Some letters might contain threats, however unlikely it was, and Malleus was merely ensuring the safety of everyone involved. But the knowledge that he read everything that you wrote to them – intimate things that you were more comfortable sharing with your friends than your husband – unnerved you.

Maybe it was why he spent more time with you when you complained to Deuce about him being busier nowadays.

“Now, don’t overthink about the past. You’ll upset our baby.”

He caressed the bulge in your stomach, where the long-awaited child resided.

A shame that you couldn’t share baby pictures with your friends, not even the news of your pregnancy.

[averageanonymous]

Summary: Crowley and Aziraphale go stargazing, and Aziraphale wonders just how much Crowley remembers from before his fall.

A fluffy little bit of post-series happiness.

☆~☆~☆~☆~☆

“Shame you can't see more stars from London,” Crowley laments with a sigh, easing back onto the fluffy quilt beneath them. He folds his hands under his head, crosses his legs at the ankles, and gazes up at the darkening sky. A red glow lines the horizon, and the stars are just beginning to peer down from the heavens. 

“Mmm,” Aziraphale agrees from his right, still sitting up, legs folded beneath him. “It would certainly be more convenient. Although, surely there's somewhere closer we could've gone.” 

“If you're going to stargaze, you have to do it properly,” Crowley counters, “No light pollution.” 

“But Nevada?” Aziraphale insists. 

“Sierra Nevada mountains,” Crowley agrees with a nod, “Stunning views. One of the darkest places on the planet. And we've never been.” 

When Aziraphale still doesn't seem convinced, Crowley sighs, “Come on, angel, it's an adventure.” 

Finally, Aziraphale smiles, “It is that. I do hope Muriel manages the shop alright, though.” 

“They'll be just fine,” Crowley reassures him. 

Comfortable silence falls between them. Not true silence, but the silence that exists where humanity is absent. A silence punctuated by cricket song and the rustle of rodents through the grass, the flap of bat wings and the murmur of a gentle breeze through trees that tower all around. 

They listen and they watch and Crowley decides he would rather prefer it if the angel were down on the blanket with him. He brings one hand from under his head to tug on Aziraphale’s sleeve. Aziraphale glances down at him in question, then gives him a humoring smile when Crowley jerks his head towards the spot on the blanket beside him. With a sigh of his own, Aziraphale stretches out, his head settling easily on Crowley's arm. 

“That's better,” Crowley says, nipping Aziraphale’s ear playfully. 

“Oh, stop that,” Aziraphale scolds him, making no move whatsoever to actually stop the demon as he presses teasing kisses to his neck. After a moment, though, Crowley settles back, his focus returning to the sky. Well, most of his focus. There's definitely a portion still very much aware of the angel tucked into his side, a nudging mental voice telling him to forget the silly stars and pay all his attention to the wondrous work of art lying right beside him. But he does his best to ignore that part. They did come a long way, after all. 

More and more stars appear above them, as though layers upon layers of gauzy curtains are being drawn back one by one, each unveiling a new spread of glittering gems scattered across the black velvet sky. The dusty band of the milky way stretches from horizon to horizon. 

“Look at that…” Crowley marvels, breathless. 

Aziraphale looks at the glittering sky, then turns his gaze to Crowley. Crowley's bright eyes are lost in the beauty of the canvas above them, his expression almost reverent. Aziraphale’s brow knits slightly as he looks at the demon, an expression caught between reminiscence and profound sadness. Crowley notices it out of the corner of his eye. 

“What's on your mind,” Crowley asks easily. Aziraphale starts slightly at being caught staring. 

“Just…remembering,” Aziraphale tells him honestly, but there's more caution in his voice than Crowley would expect.

Remembering what, he wants to ask. But he doesn't. Crowley waits. He can tell there's more Aziraphale wants to say. If he's quiet, it'll come out sooner rather than later. 

“Crowley,” Aziraphale finally turns towards him. He rests his arm over the demon's narrow frame and gently asks, “how much do you remember… From before…?” The exquisite tenderness in Aziraphale's voice softens the question. Crowley still stiffens, though. He can't help it. Whatever he was expecting, this wasn't it. Aziraphale feels his tension and immediately walks the question back, “You don't have to answer that, love, it was, well, I know it's not fair to ask.” 

“No, nah, s'alright angel,” Crowley says softly after a moment, his arm tightening around Aziraphale, “We've never talked about it. Hard to believe after six thousand years…” 

He's quiet for a long moment, then shifts himself until the two of them are lying face to face on the blanket. Crowley takes Aziraphale’s hand in his, threading their fingers together, then props his head up on his other arm, looking down at Aziraphale, but his gaze is lost somewhere in the past. Aziraphale waits patiently. Finally he says, “It's impressions, mostly, more than any sort of actual memories. The Fall…sort of burns away most of the specifics.” 

Another long stretch of heavy silence. 

Crowley's voice is hushed when it comes, “I remember God,” he pauses, then continues, “and bits and pieces of creation. Faces, conversations, most all that's a blur. I remember… early on, feeling…bliss, I guess. Peace, at any rate. Knowing I was a part of something. Of course that was before-” 

Crowley breaks off a bit abruptly, looking back up at the stars. 

“Before what?” Aziraphale prompts, squeezing Crowley's hand.

Crowley groans, “Ahhh well, before you.” 

Aziraphale raises an eyebrow, and Crowley grins, lifting their linked hands to brush his lips over the angel's knuckles. “Bet you thought I forgot, eh?” Crowley teases, “The Pillars of Creation, I think it was… First time I met you. I remember you helping me, got me asking questions. I've not got a lot of memories, but…guess you made an impression on me.”

To Crowley's surprise, Aziraphale’s face crumples in dismay, his blue eyes pained. He looks away as though he could hide it. “Crowley,” he says quietly, his voice nothing less than devastated, “I'm so sorry. I never meant to… I only wanted to-to help, and you were so joyful, so exuberant and- and you didn't know about-” 

“Shhh no, no, no, stop all that,” Crowley interrupts him quickly, gathering him into his arms. He chuckles quietly, brushing his nose playfully against Aziraphale’s to encourage him to lift his face, to meet his eyes. When he does, Crowley insists, “Angel, I didn't fall because of you. You know I wasn't ever going to last as one of you lot. It's not your fault. You…opened my eyes a bit, maybe, but I made my choices.

“And you know I wouldn't trade a thing,” Crowley continues quietly, adamantly, pulling Aziraphale even closer, his breath warm on Aziraphale’s skin as he speculates, “because being a demon is the only reason I got to be on Earth with you all these years. If I were still an angel, I'd probably be stuck in some corner of the universe running routine maintenance on dark matter and black holes and-” 

Aziraphale kisses him then, and Crowley is more than happy to let the remaining threads of the conversation spin away like leaves caught in a whirlwind. The angel, for all his public decorum and proper manners, always kisses him like he's starving for it. It makes Crowley feel like a star on the brink of a supernova, the rush of emotions like a celestial tide pulling him out into a starry sea. He smiles against Aziraphale’s lips.

Aziraphale's hands trace up his chest, dance over his collarbones, trail the column of his throat before threading into his hair. Each touch of fingers to skin races down his spine. His breath sounds haggard in his own ears as Aziraphale trails kisses along his jaw, fingers in his hair pulling his head back gently. 

And then, after not nearly enough, and with one last gentle kiss to Crowley's lips and another to his brow, Aziraphale settles back. 

Crowley is about to growl his dissatisfaction with this change of direction, but Aziraphale shushes his complaints before he can even voice them. He tips his face up to the sky and then looks back at Crowley with eyes as bright as any star. “We did come a damn long way to look at these stars,” he chides warmly. 

“Hnnnn,” Crowley grumbles, but he too settles back into the blanket, arms around his angel, legs tangled together, and turns his face to the sky. 

☆~☆~☆~☆~☆

Thanks for reading!

Have you ever gone legit stargazing in a place where you can see the Milky Way and shooting stars? It's literally one of the most amazing things I've ever seen. It makes you feel so small.

[dannyo000]

Whimpering as I tried to open my eyes, the light in the room made it difficult. I managed to get one open and was met with Sam and Dean Winchester. Arms crossed staring at me. I tried to move and felt my hands and legs bound to the chair I'm sitting in. I also noticed the red devil trap under the chair. I began panicking, my arms struggling against rope.

"No use in trying to get out of those." Dean spoke, stepping closer to me.

I gulped and closed my eyes, thinking about why I came to them in the first place.

I shivered, standing in the rain. I looked over my shoulder for anyone following me. Hearing the door creak open, I turned back around and was met with the most beautiful human I had ever seen. Green eyes and soft lips.

"Can I help you?" He asked.

"Im looking for Sam and Dean. I need help." I hugged my bare arms and pleaded with my eyes.

"Please don't hurt me I- just need help." I whispered, looking down at my bare muddy feet.

"And what could a demon need our help with?" Sam scoffed.

"I- I know I'm a demon and they're the bad guys b-but I'm not like the others." I looked back and forth at the two guys. "I swear!"

Both the boys scoffed and chuckled sarcastically.

"Like we haven't heard that before."

"Crowley is my dad. I heard so much about you guys and I knew you would be my only help."

"CROWLEY?" The boys look at eachother.

"Yes! I know he's awful and not someone to trust but you know why you never knew he had a daughter?" I frowned, "I'm the daughter to a king who forgot I exist."

"How could crowley forget his own daughter exists?" Sam asked.

"Because I was a disgrace to him. I wouldn't listen and do what he wanted of me. So he locked me away till he decided to allow me back into the world."

"So why do you need our help?" Dean questioned standing up straight, putting his hands in his pockets.

"I want you to make me human again. "

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

a good omens grieving update because if I'm crying at 5 am you better be too.

Good morning, maggoty loves of mine. Despite all attempts to distract myself and you all with wedding cakes and dresses and textposts, it is five in the fucking morning, and I've been crying for half an hour already.

I'm listening to the Pentatonix cover of Hallelujah on loop and I will never be normal about anything ever again and there is nothing you, I, God, Satan or even Neil can do about it.

@mirrorleaf was kind enough to hijack my stupid royal family post with this fucking gorgeous edit of season 1 set to Hallelujah. Thank you, I'm now fucking sobbing and I found another edit again of season 1 and then I read fics and now I'm NOT FUCKING OKAY.

All the times Aziraphale looks up to Heaven and prays, how hopeful and desperate he is, and then the way he looks at Crowley while he's pinned against the wall, entirely calm and sure and safe.

And the song playing with Love is not a victory march, it's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah over Crowley crying over alcohol when he thought Aziraphale had died. I'm not okay.

I need to watch season 1 again. When I watched it first, it was in two installments with you maggots on livestream, and the first installment was like two days after I was kidnapped as Mascot of Good Omens. Needless to say, it was all a fever dream.

Then I watched this edit now and there's so much. There's so much fucking layers and emotion and nuance that I didn't notice. And it's absolutely going to wreck me and then I'll have to rewatch season 2 and by then I'll have no self-preservation and I'll have read the book and I'll never ever be okay again and I'll have to live with it.

You all really just found a guy on the internet and fucking wrecked him, huh. This fandom really just did that. Now salt and pepper shakers made me think about Crowley's Fall and the inherent transience of human nature and The angel you knew is not me.

It hurts. I thought I was ridiculous about Drarry. No I was entirely fucking reasonable about Drarry. This is a gut punch except to the throat. Repeatedly.

I remember when I made a post a day or two after finishing season 2 and someone, @thescholarlystrumpet it was probably you, told me that grief isn't a linear process and to take care. To anyone outside this broken fandom, that would seem like a disproportional response to a show's season 2 finale when we know that it will end happily. Everyone in this fandom knows how much that reminder is needed, though.

Besides, though we know that the show ends happily, we know that Aziraphale and Crowley will be together and it is inevitable, how does it still fucking hurt so much? I knew all the spoilers, technically, of the show before I started, and it still surprised me with the emotions.

I had to stop writing this post for a few minutes because an image came to my mind and I had to sketch it. Of how I'd felt when I came here, lonely and frightened, and how the fandom grabbed me and forced me to watch the show and how much it hurts and how beautiful it is and how it feels like a mirror. A shattered mirror, one that's soaked with all our blood and tears, but it showed me I wasn't alone. So here, have this brief sketch and do NOT come at with about pretentiousness my beloved maggots because for one, I have always aspired to be pretentious and for another, THE SUN HASN'T FUCKING RISEN AND I'VE BEEN IN TEARS WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?

Congratulations, the next time anyone asks you if you've ever killed anyone, every one of you can confidently say that yes, you are indeed directly responsible for murder. My blood is on your hands, motherfuckers, you adopted a Mascot and then killed him.

[aziraphales-library]

Hi, I love LOVE you all for this blog! Thank you for doing this for the community 🥰

I wonder if you can recommend some loooong multi-chapter E-rated Human AUs of a particular flavor. I tend to like ones where there is a meeting early on, a bit of pining, plenty of spicy interludes and not tooooo much angst in the story line. Bonus points for chubby/fat Aziraphale my beloved.

My absolute faves are Under Construction and Car Trouble by @summerofspock and Petrichor and Parchment by @katnoggin.

If you can make anything of this, I'd be eternally grateful! Thank you!

Hello! We have plentiful #human au and #long fic tags, so do have a root around those for more fics that will fit the bill. Here are some with the details you've requested, most of which I don't think we've recommended before...

Lavender Apiary Of Your Honey Eyes by snek_of_eden (E)

The first thing Aziraphale registered was fiery red hair matted with sweat. The second thing was the man’s face, sharp and intelligent and a little guarded, sunlight dappling a spray of freckles. Upon seeing this, two contradictory thoughts crossed his mind: ‘Gosh, he’s pretty’, and ‘I don’t believe I’ve ever heard a man use that many expletives in the space of a minute’. “Oh,” he said, swallowing hard. “Hello, then.” __________ When Aziraphale inherits a small, cosy cottage in the countryside, he finds unexpected company in a gardener he didn't even know he had. Crowley is sweet, and strange, and about as foul-mouthed as you can get. Before he knows it, he's falling pretty goddamn hard for a man whose friendship he's terrified of risking. Ah, the foils of love.

Angel in the Window by themaybedoctor (E)

Aziraphale has the best job a young bookworm could ever hope for—he works the evening shift at an independent bookshop, just a stone's throw away from Tadfield College, where he's only a few months away from getting his degree. He likes the location in Tadfield's cosy downtown, the friendly regulars, and his coworker, Newt. But most of all, he likes having the key to the biggest treasure trove of books he's ever seen. Aziraphale knows that he's not going to make friends sitting in the dark shop at night, alone with a book and some chocolate, but that's all right. He's not lonely while he has a book, which means he's hardly lonely at all. Really. Crowley works at a record shop, and he's got the biggest crush on the cutie working at the bookshop next door. Whose name he doesn't even know, because he's too awkward to ask. At least nobody's noticed. If his co-worker Anathema found out, he'd never hear the end of it. A story about bravery, misunderstandings, acceptance, and love.

Romeo in Black Jeans by Caedmon (E)

Popular fashion designer, Crowley, meets a beautiful man at his best friend's show, and it's love at first sight. He is determined to make Aziraphale fall for him, too... if only he could get Aziraphale to stop running so hot and cold.

and now all of my garden is grown in lavender by ilikeblue (E)

Popular queer romance author, A.Z. Fell, has been lying about having a husband and a happy marriage for years. Longing to escape a string of failed relationships and looking for a fresh start, Aziraphale moves into the cottage left to him by his Great Aunt Agnes. When a TV adaptation of one of his books leads to sudden popularity and throws him into the limelight, his fans (and the press) are eager to catch a glimpse of Aziraphale's own mysterious leading man. Unfortunately, he still has to cast someone for that role. Enter the handsome gardener… Under Crowley's meticulous care the cottage's neglected garden slowly comes back to life, and Aziraphale finds himself writing the most important love story he'll ever write: his own

Argumentum a fortiori by PeturbingPrism (E)

"From the stronger argument", the Good Omens Alternate Universe barristers fic you never knew you wanted! Crowley could be a rising star at Brimstone Chambers, if he could control his temper and apply himself. Aziraphale is on the edge of losing not only his job, but his entire family over a disagreement over which organisations he has granted funds to through his beloved Miracle Foundation, the philanthropic arm of his his family's angel investment firm. Anathema tries to help her old friend out by introducing him to the only lawyer she knows who might be crazy enough to take on the might of Celeste & Sons. Two people with different ways of dealing with their issues strike up an unlikely friendship, leading to love and healing. Lots of bickering, bookshop silliness, boozing, bentley rides, shared desserts and blushing.

Divine Restorations & Repairs by skimmingthesurface, SylWritesStuff (E)

While it's unfortunate for one’s car to break down in the middle of the countryside, the pretty-as-a-postcard Tadfield could hardly be considered the worst place Anthony J. Crowley has ever been. Of course, it doesn’t help that it looks like it hasn’t yet seen the turn of the millennia, let alone this decade, but perhaps that’s just what he needs as he crawls his way out of the Hell he’s endured for the past fifteen years. Maybe the last thirty, if he's honest with himself. Though he could do without the rain. When Aziraphale Fell happens upon him and offers him shelter from the storm in his little family-run antique repair shop, neither are expecting it to change everything. The angel with his white umbrella and his tartan bowtie doesn’t expect this mysterious stranger to be able to fill the timely vacancy in his shop or the quiet of his life, but they’ve both had experience in restoring once-beloved items back to their full glory. Perhaps Crowley hasn’t fallen quite so far that he wouldn’t fit in with the rest of Aziraphale’s ragtag team of eccentric restoration experts. And perhaps they may be able to turn that talent on themselves and each other, and seal the cracks in their own hearts.

- Mod D