#crowley: HE MEANS WE'RE MARRIED

[extraaa-30]

s3 prediction: aziraphale will get very into snake husbandry

😇🐍🏳️‍🌈✨💍

[bluberryfields]

This is what happens when you're raised by TV and trained in literary analysis

Beyond the crushing heartbreak of that finale, one thing in particular has stuck with me when I look at it in the context of S2 as a whole.

He lays out their relationship, "We're a team, a group. A group of the two of us. And we've spent our existence pretending that we aren't."

He then turns his head away and says, "I mean, the last few years, not really."

He pauses here, facing the interior of the bookshop. Really looks it up and down.

Turns back, "And I would like to spend" before choking on his words and looks toward the window. He can't finish saying something like "And I would like to spend eternity with you" because that's too much, too fast, for both of them.

But it's that "last few years" bit that has firmly lodged itself in my very broken brain.

According to Gaiman, it's been "a few years" since the end of Season 1. Armageddon has been averted. Heaven and Hell have reluctantly retreated. Crowley and Aziraphale have been effectively cut loose from their "sides," leaving them to form their own side.

So at the start of Season 2, we get a glimpse of the “fragile existence” they have carved out for themselves. To me, the biggest difference that we see is how they exist together in front of others. Going to the coffee shop, the pub, and the other shops along the street that Aziraphale has lived on for over 200 years. And don’t forget how they act in front of Nina, Maggie, and sweet, dim Muriel.

At the coffee shop, Aziraphale stammers a bit when Nina asks who Crowley is, but he still seems to have affection in his voice when he says, "We go back a long time."

Compared to Shakespearian "He's not my friend! We've never met before. We don't know each other!" panic, this is an incredible difference.

Of course, each time, Crowley is cool and cheeky and does nothing to indicate that they aren't a pair. Though, of course, he does deny it when Nina asks about Aziraphale being his side piece. “He’s not my bit on the side! He’s far too pure of heart to be anyone’s bit on the side.” And refers to him as an “Angel [swallows]I know.”

When they go the pub, Crowley's joy at doing something together in public that they do not normally do is super cute, including his cheeky order for Aziraphale's sherry. Then, when bringing the drinks over to the socially trapped Aziraphale, he greets Mr. Brown with a truly adorable, "Hello" and a signature DT smile. Then upon hearing how “excited” Mr. Fell is to host the meeting, he looks down and says, “Oh? You astonish me.” while Aziraphale sips his sherry and squirms.

We also watch as Crowley follows Aziraphale as he goes to each shop and talks to the owners about the meeting/secret ball. In theory, Crowley has no reason to tag along, and he certainly doesn’t help sway anyone who doesn’t want to/can’t go. He goofs around at the magic shop. He splays out on the bench, chin on hand, looking for all the world a husband waiting for his wife to pick out a dress at the department store. They are so married it’s ridiculous.

Finally, their behavior in front of Muriel while inside their sanctuary. Crowley sits on the arm of Aziraphale’s chair, somehow looking supremely comfortable on the old-fashioned furniture. He folds up those gloriously long limbs and presses himself as close as possible.

He smiles and plays along with Aziraphale’s coaching of Muriel in her disguise. Calls him Angel and asks to speak in private. And at the end, during the awful wait while Aziraphale talks with The Metatron, Crowley cleans up the shop and tells Muriel that he and Aziraphale will need some “us” time after all this. No beating around the bush. 

Without oversight, they can be openly together and happy. But Heaven just can’t let that happen. 

[actual-changeling]

This post is going to show you the EXACT moment that tear forms with indisputable evidence that consists of several screencaps, detail shots, and slowed down video proof, which will be at the very end.

The tear and I are getting married, her name is Trina and I love her.

Let's get right into it. Be prepared for uh. Very painful facial expressions! And tears (at the end).

We're going to look through the final fifteen chronologically with pit stops at important emotional points that I think would make sense to cause a tear.

As you can see, we go into this argument with mostly dry eyes, a little glistening here and there but those are NOT tears. Probably just the contacts plus the lack of blinking making his eyes a bit more moist than your usual pair. The tear will be obvious.

Obvious disbelief when Aziraphale tells him about the Metatron's bullshit, yes, but Crowley soldiers on through.

Now a scene that I personally thought would be most likely to cause tears - "tell me you said no". However - his eyes stay dry! Both before and after Aziraphale's non-answer. No tears.

The best spot to look at is his waterline, and as you can see it's free of any sad tears.

We have reached the "go off together" stage, Crowley is yelling, they're both emotionally perturbed, a very good foundation for tears. Yet when you look at his eyes during and right after, they're still dry!

We are now right before Crowley says "you can't leave this bookshop" and when he does BOOM the tear is suddenly there!

This is what our tear looks like, and we have a very narrow time frame during which it can appear. So it is time for the grand reveal because by now you're probably yelling at me "okay but WHEN does it show up??"

I will tell you. Or rather, I will show you first and then tell you what Aziraphale said right before that triggered it. Ready?

There it is. Left - no tear. Right - tear. (no i will not make the trivago joke again i want to but i wont.)

Come with me! To heaven! I'll run it, -> no tear yet. It appears after the next part.

you can be my second in command THAT is what causes the tear to finally show up. Right as Aziraphale finishes his sentence you can watch as it appears.

As promised, here is the video evidence, slowed down by half and zoomed in on Crowley's face at the end.

Alright, have you seen enough tears? Good! Let's look at the emotional reason. Because your question is probably what is so special about that sentence that it tips Crowley over the edge?

That one sentence, that one "promise" Aziraphale makes him, destroys everything. All of it in one go.

It is not just about Aziraphale choosing heaven over him, it's not about him saying no to running away (Crowley probably saw that coming anyway). What Aziraphale does is he takes them, their us and eliminates it.

Not just is he telling Crowley that he's an evil demon tm who needs to be an angel to be worthy of staying in Aziraphale's life, but "second in command" takes that even further.

Not "ruling together" or "ruling side by side" or any variation of those. No, Aziraphale is telling him that they are not equal and never have been. That Crowley has always been inferior to him and always WILL BE even if he stops being a demon and does what Aziraphale wants.

This is why Crowley no longer things of them as an us after all of that. Aziraphale took every single meaning it had and inverted it, crushed it up, and then threw it away.

Yeah.

Crowley is telling him he is gay and in gay love with him. Aziraphale takes that and says "you can be my employee at gay conversion therapy which i will run #straight besties".

Crowley hears "second in command" and it is the last puzzle piece falling into place. It's the final straw and that is when we get the tear. Before that he was saying we can be together, be an us, just the two of us, you and me. He was referring to them as free equals who don't need heaven or hell, who are happy with everything the way it is. An Aziraphale who loves Crowley no matter what his former occupation might have been.

We could have been us. (I wanted us to be an us)

And Aziraphale's answer to that is there has never been an us and we never will be. i don't love you the way you love me.

Anyway, see y'all on my next angst post or in the tags. Have another devastating screencap to wrap this all up nicely 💚

[fakemichaelsheen]

-the bookshop-

aziraphale, checking his watch: have you seen crowley?

gabriel, shrugs: not since this morning

aziraphale, pacing: we have dinner plans. it's not like him to be late

gabriel, chuckles, shaking his head: I am never getting married

aziraphale, stops pacing: what?

gabriel, gestures: I mean, I get it, you guys are crazy about each other but I couldn't-

aziraphale, high-pitched: crowley is not my husband! we're not married. we're just- it's not like that. I don't even like him. not really *long pause* yes, he's quite pretty for a demon but I would never- I haven't even thought about it. where on earth did you get an idea like that?

crowley, enters: sorry I'm late, angel. I was getting ready then I had to go pick these up *produces a huge bouquet of flowers*

aziraphale, delighted: oh, crowley. they're beautiful

crowley, smiles: what can I say? I like spoiling you

aziraphale, happy: thank you, dear

gabriel: *staring at him smugly*

aziraphale, confused: what?

[theeroins]

Nina: Who's this?

Aziraphale: This is Crowley. He and I...

Aziraphale's internal monologue: .. are friends? No. Best friends? NO. Mates? Pals? Probably not, I mean, there are synonyms for friends. Buddies? Mates could work- YOU'RE NOT AUSTRALIAN, GET IT TOGETHER, AZIRAPHALE. Okay, let's see, boyfriends? No no, too forward. Partners? Sounds like we're MARRIED, WHICH I DON'T OBJECT TO, BUT- HUSBANDS? Wha- what the f-

Crowley: Any day now.

Aziraphale: ...go back a long time.

[mrghostrat]

i know i just posted a long ass rec list but i remembered some more fics that are crucial for u to read

still not my last rec post. but here's ur new homework until i wake my kindle back up and sort through my reread list.

We're Both Of Us Above by obstinatrix

E • 3k • angel/demon (pwp) "I saw you once," Crowley says, in a tone which might be interpreted, by anyone other than Aziraphale, as casual, "with a Fusilier." my favourite genre of aziraphale. the best characterisation. incredible dialogue, flirty snarky bitchy "how could you sleep with humans but not with me" resulting in amazing "youre the only one i've ever loved" sex.

New Approaches by FeralTuxedo

E • 19k • human AU (professor/author) Professor Aziraphale Fell welcomes the attendees of the First Conference on New Approaches to Genre Fiction. Among them is keynote speaker and best-selling thriller author Anthony J. Crowley. Aziraphale has not seen him for twenty-five years. Sometimes, he can still feel the ghost of their parting kiss on his lips.

The Lines Between by Ginger_Cat

M • 21k • angel/demon (post armageddon) fucking exquisite out of this world prose i want to drink with my eyeballs. aziraphale notices something is wrong with crowley (love) but can't figure out why the current state of their relationship isn't enough for him. celestial, spirital banging. so, so many feelings. fucking delectable literary motifs.

Celestial Bodies by Justkeeptrekkin

M • 48k • angel/demon (1920s) pg wodehouse inspired fic where aziraphale has a human friend group that invite him and crowley for a weekend away in the country. it's so funny and delightful and the pining is agonisingly sweet, and i love seeing how crowley interacts with all these batshit humans aziraphale calls friends. i know i'm a jeeves & wooster feral but i can't recommend this fic enough

Man to Man by leukozyna

E • 62k • human AU (office) crowley is the token twink in a corporate office with a mad crush on his colleague. aziraphale seems very much to be straight, but after striking up conversation over drinks at an office party, the two start hooking up regularly so crowley can help him uncover his sexuality.

A Classical Education by Melibe

M • 1k • human AU (professors) what the fuck this fic only has 1k hits i assumed it was like a fanon classic thpfhtkjdhs. aziraphale recites latin poetry at an office party. “Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo,” Aziraphale enunciated clearly, knowing that only one person in the room understood the meaning of the archaic syllables: I will sodomize and face-fuck you.

The Rose Thief and the Priest by ImprobableDreams900

T • 15k • human AU (priest/gardener) When horticulturist A. J. Crowley sees a rare breed of rose in a churchyard, he decides he won't stop until he can get a cutting—even if he has to go through the church's stuffy priest to do so.

New Messages by TawnyOwl95

E • 38k (WIP) • human AU (fandom/online) Aziraphale writes fanfiction for the show Nice and Accurate Prophecies. Crowley draws fanart. THIS THING IS WRITTEN SO GOOD AND FUN AHHHHH so many laugh out loud points and feet kicking.

To reveal my heart in ink by chaoticlivi

E • 29k • angel/demon (post armageddon) aziraphale misses letter writing, so he and crowley start to write each other letters. it's easier to confess things on paper, even if they never mention the contents of their letters when they meet in person. it gets so dirty so fast (and aziraphale signing off every one with Your Dear Friend after detailing how he wants to tear crowley to pieces makes me wheeze laugh every time)

Demon and Angel Professors by Ghostinthehouse

T • series of 200 works, 133k total • human AU (professors) an incredible collection of drabbles (this bitch somehow makes every one 666 words) following a universe where aziraphale and crowley are both professors at the same uni. a mix of them and outsider povs, starting from the "two professors are married but no one realises it's to each other" trope, turning into some wonderful soft stories that reveal more of their relationship history, and loads of moments of queer and disabled solidarity.

[valy-gc]

More theory about Crowley

Sooo @whynotread4fun and myself were talking about Crowley.

We're both against the theory of Crowley being Levan and for the Theory of Overblotted Crowley (see my posts on thoses two subjects)

But... that don't mean he can't have a relation with the Draconia family, not as a family himself but, listen.

In Crowley's card, when the others ask "by the way, how old are you?" Crowley just change subject. Like if his age wasn't normal, even for a fae. So for me he's really super old, older than Lilia or Maleficia (Malleus' grandmother... and no, it's not Maleficient).

Peoples say Crowley is Levan because of Maleficient having a crow... uh yeah why not... so if a character is based on Gepetto he should be married to a cat beastman representing Figaro? If we follow the same logic... I know there is a certains tension with her crow/human pet in the live action movie, I don't know about the second movie, haven't saw it yet... but remember Twisted Wonderland is based on the timeless original masterpieces, not the shitty remakes (I liked Maleficient... and Cinderella... but thoses are the only "remake" I accept, as a different adaptation of the story and not remakes).

BUT... what if the Draconia family's advisors were crows faes for years? Crowley would have been a royal advisor, maybe even for Maleficia, or the precedent one, like, when Lilia/Meleanore/Levan were still children, that's why Lilia don't recognize him. And why Lilia especially received letters from Night Raven College, because even if Lilia don't remember him, Crowley remember Lilia and knew he could be a potential great student. (Yes, I imagine he was already the headmaster at this moment)

Now, why would he stop being an advisor?

Well, that join the overblotted theroy. The reason he overblotted.

Remember thoses old farts from the senate! How they treat any other faes that are not dragons. They would hate the fact a filthy crow is the royal advisor. Maybe even Crowley proposed ideas that was not liked by the senate (like just the fact to let Valley of Thorn evolute with time)

So the senate would have been on his back during all this time but Crowley have a strong mind... so they would have attacked his family instead, leading to an overblot.

Now, two possibles ideas on how he can be still in a overblot and alive, and not having a phantom. Either a member of his family used an old forbbiden magic and sacrificed their own life to seal/destroy the phantom, making the phantom disapear but Crowley stay stuck in overblot. (we were thinking his mother could have do it)

Or maybe his dear friend, the actual queen, maybe Maleficia herself, did the same thing but without losing her life, but maybe while becoming weaker, but as a dragon, even weaker than normal is stronger than other races.

In both case, maybe it kind of sealed part of his magic too, and that why he can't use big spells! Remember in his card, when he use the whip of love and the MC is like "Woah that was impressive!" and he look sad and answer "not really"...

So after that incident, he would have left the Valley of Thorn and then became the headmaster of NRC!

[queen-of-deans-booty]

The Executioner's Song: Part Two

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~1.8k

Warnings: canon angst and violence, extra angst

Summary: As the newly formed Scarlet Witch, you're not letting anyone get in your way to true power, not even Dean. The power you feel is like no other, and not even Cain is a match for you. Sure is cute to watch him try, though.

Season Ten Masterlist

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Supernatural. All credit goes to their respective owners. I love seeing any and all comments <3

x

Dean informs Cas they'll meet him in Illinois at a motel where he's at. It's a long drive that you'd rather not be taking with the Winchesters but it's better than stealing a car or being cramped on a bus. Cas takes his time in meeting you and when he does, his eyes immediately look you over. Not only are your clothes different from what you usually wear, but there's something about your demeanor that's different. Not only did Cain kill Tommy but he's killed dozens and left them in unmarked graves off the beaten path.

What the hell is he doing?

"I'm sorry I couldn't bring better news, Dean."

"It's not your fault, Cas," Dean sighs.

Sam gets the sheriff on the phone in regards to the case and Cas looks at you in concern.

"How are you doing?"

"I've honestly never been better," you grin.

Red magic dances around both palms and Cas' entire face falls at this realization.

"You have magic again. That's chaos magic."

"And loving every minute of it," you grin.

"You know why we're hunting Cain, so why are you here?"

"What, like I have to tell you everything I do? Let's not forget who kept a secret agenda when you were working with Crowley, hm?"

"Yes, look how well that turned out. I let the Leviathans loose."

"Yeah, you did," you smirk, "but I'm more dangerous than a Leviathan." You walk closer to Cas and get in his personal space. "Stay out of my way and we won't have a problem."

"Thanks," Sam says and hangs up the phone. "Okay, the sheriff gave me a few more names and some preliminary IDs on the bodies."

"And?"

"It seems to fit Cas' story. I mean, there's no way to tell the relation to Cain, obviously, but he's wiping out entire families, one after another."

"Okay, who's next? Is he done with the Tollivers?"

"I think so. I mean, Leon didn't have any siblings or any other children I can see, and Tommy was never married so I--" Sam continues to look and curses. "Damn it."

"What?"

"Tommy did have a son who lives with his mother in Ohio. Austin Reynolds, twelve years old."

"Is the kid still alive?"

Sam pulls up a Facebook account for the mother where she posts pictures of her and her kid.

"As of an hour ago, yeah. His other updated her status. It's a kid. You don't really think Cain would kill him, do you?"

"Yes, he would," Cas nods.

"There were old men in those graves, Sam, and women. You heard Cas. It's a fire sale. Everyone must go. We gotta get to Ohio."

"Then what? What do you plan on doing?"

"I'll do what I have to do. I'll kill Cain."

"Yes, let's do that. Let's find Cain and kill him," you say with a smile.

All three men look at you weirdly.

"You want to kill Cain to help me?"

"Like I'm doing this for you," you scoff. "Can needs to die and I'm going to help. I'll be in the car."

You grab your jacket and go to the car, leaving the men inside the motel room. Dean waits until the door closes to openly talk about you. He doesn't want you to know that he's still trying to look for the cure for you. Whether or not you want it, you're going to get it. He's not going to let you ruin your life over something like the Mark.

"She's getting worse, Cas. I didn't realize she could have magic. Her soul is gone."

"I didn't see this coming. The effect of the Mark on her must be more powerful than I thought. Let me check on her soul." He raises his hand and passes it over Dean's head, and a white light shines from his palm. "Her soul still isn't ready. Even if there is a sliver of darkness, her magic and the Mark will feed that darkness until her entire soul is black again. We have to keep waiting."

Dean sighs in frustration. He didn't want to hear that news. It's going to be a lot harder to get your soul inside of you now that you have magic. You'll put up a helluva fight for it.

"You know she's not planning anything good, right?"

"Yeah but we have to take her with us or I have a feeling people will die," Sam says. "One problem with killing Cain. How are you going to put him down?"

"Well, there's only one thing that can kill him. The Blade."

"Dean, wielding the Blade against Cain himself... Win or lose, you may never come back from that fight."

"I know," Dean sighs, "but I won't be alone. I don't know what Y/N is planning but she wants Cain dead and having a witch on my side will definitely help. There's only one person who knows where the Blade is."

Dean takes out his phone and calls Crowley.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't--"

"Cain's back," Dean cuts him off. "He's gone dark and I need the Blade."

"Why would I do that for you?"

"Because you have as much reason to want Cain off the board as anyone. Cain has a kill list and you're on it." Sam and Cas stay quiet knowing Dean is lying to him. "What do you say, Crowley? You in?"

"Yes."

"Good. I'll text you the location." Sam, Dean, and Cas finally come out of the motel room and pile into the car. "Surprised you're still here."

"Like I said before, Cain needs to die and I'm just here to provide help. I reckon you'll fuck it up somehow."

You travel to Ohio to the farm you know where Austin is living at. The mother isn't home for unknown reasons but Austin is in the barn to pass the time until it's time to go to bed.

"Is the kid here?" Dean asks.

"He's upstairs inside the barn. He's playing with a basketball," Cas answers.

"Cain will strike soon. Maybe tonight, maybe tomorrow, but soon. When he does..."

"Yeah, I got it," Sam sighs. "You charge in with the Blade with Y/N. What about the kid? We just watch and wait until Cain attacks? I thought this was a rescue mission."

"We save the kid after Cain shows. We know what Cain's after. That's our only advantage. We want to trap Cain, we use it."

"Using a twelve-year-old as bait? I can't believe what I'm hearing," Sam scoffs.

"Neither can I."

You turn to see Crowley approaching the small group. You immediately see red at seeing his fat smug face. 

"What's the matter, Crowley? Did you suddenly grow a conscience? Too good to put a minor in danger?" Dean asks.

"Don't give a damn about the kid. I'm talking about the risk to us."

"There is no us. You're here for one reason. That's to hand me the Blade."

"Yeah, about that. Seeing as this is shaping up to be one of those two-step capture-then-kill kind of deals, I think your buddies would agree it's better to keep the Blade out of both your hands until we've got Cain sewn up, just to be safe. Now, back to this plan of yours."

You push Sam and Dean out of the way and storm over to Crowley. His eyes widen the second he sees red magic pouring out of your hands. You hold him in place and get all up in his personal space.

"I was lenient with you before but now, I don't give a rat's ass if you die or not. Fuck us over even slightly and I'll destroy you from the inside out. Got it?"

Crowley nods and you remove the hold you have on him. Dean and Sam are so concerned with Austin that you don't care if he is used as bait. Sam thought of the not-so-brilliant plan of having Crowley make an illusion of Austin so that he could get him and his mom out of the state and far from Cain. Everyone agrees to that but you don't care as long as you get Cain's head on a stick.

He's coming soon, you can feel it. He's getting closer with every second that passes. Crowley agrees to get the Blade but he won't hand it over until Cain is trapped. Cas went with Crowley to make sure he wasn't lying about helping.

"So, if this works and we capture Cain, then what?" Sam asks.

You look at the brothers who are talking on the side. You're close enough to hear their conversation.

"We'll cross that bridge when we--if we come to it." Dean pauses. "You know last week, I've always known this job would be the death of me. I knew I'd go out swinging. I'm at peace with that. I just didn't realize the time would come so soon, you know, like right now. I'm scared, Sam."

You groan loudly and turn to the brothers with an emotionless face.

"If you're so scared, go run to Mommy. Or I can give you something to be scared about." You walk over to Dean. "Man up, take that Blade, and ram it into his chest."

"If you have the Mark, why don't you kill him?"

"You know, I would, but watching this Mark destroy you is just too much fun," you smile but then lose it seconds later. "Quit being a baby and do your damn job."

Cain comes an hour later searching for Austin. The illusion Crowley made is inside the barn playing basketball. You, Sam, and Dean are waiting in the shadows. The brothers made a big devil's trap in the middle of the barn and covered it with dirt and hay so that Cain wouldn't be suspicious when he walked in. Cain knocks over something on the ground causing Austin to stop playing ball.

"Is someone there?" Austin asks and looks around the barn.

"Hello, Austin."

Austin turns and sees Cain standing in the doorway of the barn.

"What are you doing here?"

"I'm here to kill you."

Cain pulls a knife from under his coat but Cas jumps in to save the illusion.

"No, you won't."

"You can't stop me."

Cas raises his hand toward Cain with bright blue eyes. Light emanates from his palm at the same time the wind picks up inside the barn. Cain's hair blows back a little but isn't fazed by Cas' powers. Cain points his knife at Cas and flicks it to the right, causing Cas' angel blade to fly out of his hand. He flicks the knife to the left and Cas flies through the air to the other side of the barn, crashing into the side of a pickup truck.

"Don't, please," Austin says flatly.

Cain walks over to Austin and stabs him in the stomach, and Austin disappears in a cloud of purple smoke.

"Illusion spell. That's 18th-century magic." Crowley walks into the barn. "If I had to hazard a guess, Rune of Amaranth."

"Good eye. Something I picked up from my mother," he smirks.

"I know you fear me. I can only assume..." Cain kicks some of the dirt away from the floor to reveal the devil's trap he walked into. "Clever. It won't hold me for long, you know."

"It won't need to."

x

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[qqueenofhades]

Feel like I just watched a parenthesis ao3 fic with Taylor Swift lyrics….

Look was this season's storyline mostly a mess? Yes it was. Did they fill a lot of time that they could have used more efficiently? Also yes. Did they leave us SUFFERING? DEFINITELY INDISPUTABLY YES.

But the rest of that shit was straight up angst/romance fanfic?!?!?! I mean?!?!?!

Angel Crowley/Aziraphale and Crowley before the creation

Validating the fandom headcanon that Crowley did in fact fall instantly in love in Eden, to the point he thinks that shielding someone from the rain and gazing into their eyes is the A+ number one way to get humans to fall in love

Also validating the fandom headcanon about Aziraphale finally realizing it in 1941

ALL THE MARRIED COUPLE BICKERING JESUS?!?!?!

THEY WERE INDISPUTABLY, INCREDIBLY, UNFATHOMABLY MARRIED

AZIRAPHALE JUST LIKE HONEY I AM DRIVING UP TO EDINBURGH IN YOUR OUR CAR AND CROWLEY BEING LIKE OKAY FINE BUT I AM STILL NOT HAPPY ABOUT IT

And CALLING AZIRAPHALE TO COMPLAIN THAT HE WAS MESSING WITH THE CAR WITHOUT PERMISSION

Crowley in the bookshop without his jacket AND WITHOUT HIS GLASSES (UNTIL THE LAST SCENE YOU KNOW)

Crowley rushing to Aziraphale's rescue with "Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy" blaring

The whole "how long have you been together/is the bookseller your side piece/do you have a husband because you're a walking gay disaster" scene with Crowley and Nina

The constant sitting at tables with candles! And roses!

EVERYONE IN THE BACKGROUND WAS QUEER??

JOB'S SASSY GAY SON! (DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THAT EPISODE! I AM SUFFERING!)

THE MAGICIAN AND THEIR TRANS SPOUSE

THE RANDOM GUY WITH GRINDR ON HIS PHONE

NINA AND MAGGIE OBVS

THEY REALLY SAID "YES WE SEE SANDMAN S1 WAS VERY GAY AND IT MADE SOME BIGOTS UNHAPPY, LET'S DOUBLE DOWN, JUST MAKE IT MORE GAY FOR EVERYONE"

GOD BLESS

and of course THE LAST SCENE

WITH THE BIG DRAMATIC LOVE CONFESSION AND CROWLEY'S "I WOULD LIKE TO SPEND..." LIKE THEY HAD THAT MAN WHOLEASS PROPOSING I WAS NOT READY

FOLLOWED BY THE BIG DAMN KISS (TM)

and AZIRAPHALE THINKING THEY CAN BE TOGETHER IF THEY GO BACK TO HEAVEN AS ANGELS TOGETHER WHICH IS OBVIOUSLY THE LAST THING CROWLEY WANTS

"I NEED YOU"

AND THEN OF COURSE IT ALL GOES TERRIBLY WRONG BECAUSE OF COURSE IT DOES

SECOND ACT CLIFFHANGER MY BELOVED BELOATHED

wow there are a lot of capital letters in this huh

I regret nothing

man that whole Stupid Homosexuals Cannot Communicate And Get Themselves Into a World of Self-Inflicted Hurt Because They Are So Dumb really is my catnip huh

/takes deep breaths

We're all fine here now

[sbk-zgvlt]

1. I’m honestly impressed about how you two made a whole ass fan fiction which I heavily enjoy with just a simple question

2. I’m hoping onto that Peter Pan idea train

3. This random idea which has less Angst. Basically one day at NRC, all the main cast suddenly get transported into to a story book where they get each character is transported into a different story that best matches there personalities(or in author sense what there character was inspired by), so when the Diasomnia group get transported to the story of sleeping beauty, the can’t find Sebek anywhere. Meanwhile, Sebek is wondering where the hell everyone is and why he’s on a deserted island in the middle of nowhere, where’s there’s apparently pirate ships. (I also imagine sense Sebek is half crocodile fea he has a crocodile tail which can disappear and reappear)

1. We're just that cool

2. I think i need to make a tag for that now...

3. IM SO INSANE ABOUT THIS

They probably messed around with this cursed storybook that Crowley keeps in his office and now they suffer the consequences.

The thing is though that they have to complete each story by their order in the book to actually progress. So, we start with Alice in Wonderland where Heartslabyul is stuck in. The further down the story is in the book (First story = Alice in Wonderland, last story = Sleeping Beauty), the longer the dorm has been inside.

For example, Heartslabyul have only been stuck for a day. Savanaclaw for a week. Octavinelle for a month, etc.

The basics of how this works is that while the first story is being played out, the others haven't even started yet. They're basically on pause. It's like Heartslabyul is trying to finish the story in a day while Savanaclaw is stuck inside the story 1 week before the events actually happen.

When Heartslabyul finish their story, they get transported to the Lion King and meet with Savanaclaw. They finish the story, then meet with Octavinelle in Little Mermaid, so on and so forth.

They eventually reach the Sleeping Beauty, only to be met with a frantic Diasomnia who have been stuck in the story for 5 months (They don't age or something by the way...when they return to the real world they've only been gone for a minute).

Turns out they have NOT seen Sebek at all, and Silver is in a FRENZY. Malleus is starting to embrace his villain role a bit too well in the story, and Lilia has practically reverted back to his old war veteran days.

The cast finally snap them out of it when they're able to finish the story, and Riddle suggests that maybe Sebek wasn't affected by the storybook for some reason? Or they'll be able to find him once they reach the true end of the book.

So, the true characters of thr story finally manifest so Diasomnia can just watch things play out with the rest of the cast as well.

They watch Aurora get married, some get a bit teary-eyed while Leona and Malleus argue over the color of her dress, then all they have to do now is wait for the end of the story-

Everyone gets transported to a room. The Darlings' room. Everyone freaks out because WHAT THE FUCK I THOUGHT WE WERE SUPPOSED TO GO HOME???

Diasomnia are inconsolable because they think that Sebek was left behind in the Sleeping Beauty story and will be stuck there forever and are continuously trying to find ways to go back-

"Uh, you guys aren't Wendy." Everyone turns towards the window. Peter Pan, in all his glory, was sitting by the windowsill with his arms crossed. He thinks that they broke in and is prepared to beat their asses until Jack and Trey explain their situation.

Peter hears about this Sebek guy and goes "Oh! You mean ole' croc? I know where he is!" Diasomnia pause and then immediately start screaming at him to bring them to him.

A few pixie dust later (courtesy of a disgruntled Tinkerbell), they're flying over Neverland. Peter is about to introduce them to the lost boys only for the sound of a cannon to interrupt him.

Pirates are invading the island once more, and the cast are quick to defend themselves. They can't seem to get a single hit on Captain Hook though, mostly because of fairy tale laws or whatever.

They're in a bit of a disadvantage, and even Peter is getting restless-

Tick.

Tock.

Captain Hook goes pale, as well as the rest of his crew. NRC look confused only for a familiar voice to ring throughout the fight: "ARE YOU BACK FOR ANOTHER ROUND, CAPTAIN?" It's Sebek!

Except he looks...different. Not different in the way that Rook now has black hair for whatever reason, nor different by the fact that Lilia's hair is long again.

This Sebek looks older. Not too old, but there are key differences. His usual round ears are now a bit pointed, his hair past his shoulders. He's wearing something wildly different- there's no trace of his uniform.

Instead, an old, raggy pirate's cloak hangs off his shoulders that just serves to make him look more intimidating. And uh the rest of his clothes are the ones that Will Stetson is wearing in his cover of Shinunoga E-wa with black pants LOOK MAN im writing this in my notes app offline.

His magestone is no longer placed in a pen, rather it hangs off his ear as an earring.

The biggest change however is the scales and tail...as well as the ticking face of a clock that replaces his right eye.

Hook's crew are quick to retreat, not before Sebek can suddenly jump into their ship though. The cast watch Sebek raise Hook up by the scruff of his neck, and with a flick of his wrist, his claws retract.

"P-please!" Hook pleads. "Have mercy!" Sebek smiles. "I'm true to my word, Captain." And promptly slices his hand off.

He jumps off the ship with Hook's hand, Peter quick to catch him as they ignore Hook's frantic screams. Blood trickles down his claws, and once they reach solid ground, Peter puts Sebek down.

Sebek throws the hand into the sand, and with a single kick, sends it flying into the ocean. Right on time, a crocodile jumps from the water and catches it into its mouth, before retreating back into the water.

"That was so cool!" Peter exclaims from behind him with childlike wonder. Sebek doesn't react, only sighing, "HUMAN, JUST BECAUSE IVE BEEN HERE FOR A YEAR DOESNT MEAN ILL BE HERE FOREVER. SOONER OR LATER, YOU WILL NEED TO FACE THE CAPTAIN BY YOURSE-"

He turns around to continue to berate Peter, only to pause when he sees the mildly injured forms of the NRC cast.

"...PETER WHAT THE FUCK"

[vidavalor]

do u think they make love a lot. like how much

Shax, love, you've got to stop messaging me. I know it's you. This is starting to get embarrassing, honey... Crowley's a married man. Go home and fix your shower and take The Love Doctor's sarcastic but also solid advice, alright, 'cause that's as close as you're ever gonna get to him. You're creeping him out. You literally audibly sniffed him, girl... it was super weird and unsubtle though I'll forgive you because that eyebrows-in-his-hair-ugh-that-was-gross reaction was hilarious. We're really sorry that he finds you deeply unsettling. I know it's a lot to find out that the demonic prince of lust you've wanted for millennia is in a committed, exclusive LTR with your sworn enemy but Furfur *did* try to tell you this back during WW2, babe. Would it make you feel any better if I told you that you never really stood a chance? I mean, that lonely G.I basically fell asleep during a performance of The Ladies of Camelot... You're just not his type.

[universaln0b0dy]

Bully twist au v.s reader untouchable

《Summary 》: You are willing to end things with NCR once and for all. But will you really defeat them? You are just some prefect with no magic right?

You felt like puking, just the thought of maybe having to return to NCR gave you a stomach age. You really didn't want to, but Crowley kinda forced you, since the school was kinda on fire with out you controlling the students.

"Hey, you aren't going there alone." Your friend says, offering you a kind smile, holding up her guitar. Neige stood beside you, with a slight smile on his face.

"We are prepared. Amanda made sure you will get in safely and I can get my final revenge on Vil and my stalker." The petit boy says. It was surprising just how he managed to plot a murder looking like a baby puppy. Amanda's words, not yours.

"Of course I did! We shared fan fic tags, we are basically married!" She says leaning into your face teasingly before booping your nose. She looks back at Neige. "Isn't that right monster fucker?"

You giggle, starting to laugh. "Yup, you are never getting rid of us!"

Amanda binds her hair into a low ponytail before tugging at her clothes. She looked like a business woman.

"Are ya ready to go? If we're late we going ta ruin the suprise, wouldn't want that wood ya?" Amanda's accent sounded everything but like that of a cowboy, but that mayde ths whole thing funnier, especially when she would probably talk the whole time like this.

"Yup! Ready as I'll ever be!"

You sat down in the carriage that had been send to pick you up, personally by Crowley. Amanda rode by you on a horse. It was a pretty black horse and she looked like a queen on it. Neige was of course also somewhere but he probably was hidden better.

You can't help but chuckle to yourself. Over the past month Amanda had been helping you with making sure you would get your revenge and helped you incredibly much with finding a portal back to your home world.

She had gone further with her studying in two weeks than Crowley in almost a year. You sigh, looking at your phone.

Neige had also become an important part of your life and acting like his girlfriend had it perks. Though you had to gag mentally every time you remembered that the both of you acted like a sob story online.

The carriage comes to a halt and you see the Night raven college in all its glory and you try to get rid of the lump in your throat as you step out. Amanda steps down from the horse next to you and offers you her hand.

You take it, squeezing it. She simply let's you do that, acting like she wasn't noticing it. But she let her thumb run over your palm soothingly.

"There you are!" Crowley says opening his arms. "Welcome back, we have lots of things to do!" He seemed to expect you to go back to him, to stand by his side, but you stay glued to Amanda.

"Prefect."

You recognised his tone. The same tone he used to threaten you, with less food, less money or even worse threatening to throw you out of the school.

"No. I won't be coming back. I will pay of my debt, but I won't be coming back."

Crowley seems to go quiet, his eyes widening in suprise before he starts to growl.

"Who do you think you are you wretched magicless-" he cough, pretending to smile. "I mean respected member of our school."

Amanda had slowly pushed you behind her back. Her brows furrowed, she would probably have an anger outburst if he continued. You wanted to sooth the situation, well for now, you wanted to ask Grim were he would like to stay and get your stuff. After that chaos would be okay.

"I am just here to get my stuff. The money you need will be transferred to your account. " You yell, glad that Amanda was supporting you in this situation.

But before you can go do anything a person walks up to the NRC gates.

"Herbivore?" Leona stares at you, his eyes twitching as of he was on high alert. The new glasses he had to wear didn't suit him. He seemed wary of you.

"Yes. Kingscholar, it's me." He was scared, you could tell, the way he backed away as soon as he could tell it was you. Would Floyd be scared of you like that too? You hoped so.

The fear he has gets replaced by a wobbly smirk, the edges of it twitching.

"Huh? Came back after realising you didn't have anywhere to go!" He tries to humiliate or even hurt you. You smile at him kindly, catching him of guard.

"Oh no. I found a new place to stay in. I would just like to pick up some stuff." And you walk past him.

NRC has changed. The weather is bad, green thunder everywhere and collared students running around in fear, but no Riddle or Malleus.

You walk into the school straight to the mirror chamber, ignoring the students you walk past. Amanda is always right next to you, closely watching in order to make sure no one would attack you.

You notice a student with a bruised face, his make up is smudged. It's Carter, the person you ruined the reputation of, the same goes for Azul. You didn't see him, but you just knew it.

The most mirrors are smashed, though it didn't matter just as long as you could get Grim out of there. For the first time you are here in this school you feel powerful, the pain and the fear that lingers in the air is boosting your confidence.

The only thing that didn't change is Ramshackle. You open the door, looking around. Grim pounced at you hugging you in the process. He cried loudly almost choking you in the process. He of course was informed on your were abouts, but he wasn't sure if you could keep your promise.

"Well Grim, you have the choice! Either-"

"I am going to go with you, Henchman!"

You were surprised by the fact that Grim didn't even listen to the other offer, but you were relieved after all leaving Grim here on his own would make you feel horrible.

---

You are about to leave NRC, but a thunder flash, crashing right into the floor in front of you stops you. Malleus was here.

The only person you truly feared out of them all was him. He was like a child, throwing a tantrum but with thunders.

He was strong and he could probably just get rid of you, but you had build a wall between you and them. Not even Ace and Deuce would be able to call you back now.

No manipulative Kalim, No Vil humiliating you, no Azul, no Trey, no Floyd. No more pain.

Amanda had put a hand on your shoulder squeezing it supportingly. You decide that you would directly at Malleus, your eyes having a quiet threat in them. He shouldn't dare to touch you. He was taken aback and you look at Amanda. Who had started to pull out her guitar.

"Don't try to stop me." You mutter, grinning. Sebek of course comes charging at you, but simply with a look of your eyes you tell Amanda to use her unique magic. She does so, making Sebek dance.

With that you leave, being greeted by Neige.

You smile a bit driving back to RSA, and for the first time in your life you feel untouchable.

.

.

.

Well this is the end of season one of Bully twist au v.s reader! I am officially opening an question and answers so ask questions! Of course you can also request ideas for oneshots! (But romance only between: Amanda, Neige, Reader. Do with that information what you like-) I hope I will see you in season 2 -Uni

Also @danika-redgrave124 thank you for being do active with this story!

[pssy-wagn]

@destielmonth

Day 17: King of Hell

“... and I'm saying no!”

“Dean, you always do this. You don't control me, you can't tell me what to do. Just because we're married, doesn't mean I'm your pet to boss around-”

“I'm not saying that, you always put words in my mouth.”

“Ooh did I come in the middle of some juicy squabbling?”

Dean and Cas both turn towards Crowley with identical scowls on their faces.

“Whoa, whoa, squirrel, feathers, I'm here just to make a deal.”

“No deal. Out.”

Crowley puts his hand on Dean's shoulder, making Castiel angrier.

“Get your hand off of him.”

Squeezing Dean's shoulder before he lets go, he smirks at Cas, “Awww are you still upset about what happened ages ago? Dean was a demon. He was willing to do everything to be a bad boy.”

Smiling wide at Cas, Cas punches him right in the face, knocking him down on his butt. Dean simply rolls his eyes, “Cas. We've talked about this. It was a long ass time ago, didn't mean anything to me. Let it go.”

Still scowling over Crowley, he answers Dean, “Never.”

Picking himself up, he brushes off his suit, “like I was saying, I need your help in tracking my mother. You give me her, I give you back your book.”

“You're just a petty little King of Hell, Crowley.” Cas furiously says.

“Deal?”

Sighing, Cas looks at Dean and nods, Dean crosses his arms, “Fine, deal.”

“You know how I seal my contracts, Dean.”

Castiel pushes Crowley back a foot with a forceful hand, “You're changing that part.”

“And miss my kiss with your husband? Why would I want to do that?”

“Because if you kiss my husband, I will rip your heart out where you stand.”

“Cassie, such a flirt.”

Dean clears his throat, getting both guys’ attention, “I said it was a deal but no, I’m not kissing you. Especially not in front of my husband.”

Crowley looks at him up and down with a smirk on his face, “You wanna take it to your bedroom?”

As soon as those words get asked, Dean steps around Crowley to stop Cas from taking out his angel blade.

“Cas, dammit!”

“He’s outwardly coming on to you, Dean. In front of me. I will not have this!”

Dean calls for Sam to help out. As soon as Sam comes out of his bedroom, he freezes, “Holy shit! Crowley! What the hell?”

“Hello, Moose. I just need a little help of tracking down my mother-”

“Rowena? Rowena’s on vacation in Malibu. Some kind of fancy resort.”

“How-how do you know that?” Crowley asks in disbelief.

“She keeps sending me selfies of herself.”

Cas crosses his arms and faces Crowley, “There you go. We helped, now give us back our book.”

Crowley snaps his fingers and Cas and Dean’s wedding book appears on the map table. Sam looks at the book, “Seriously, Crowley? You stole their wedding photography book? Why?”

“I like seeing my Dean happy.”

Cas goes for his pocket once again, Dean stopping him by his wrist, “Cas, honey, you have me, not Crowley.”

Dean kisses Cas and smiles at Crowley, “Go to Hell, Crowley.”

“No kiss for me?” After winking at Dean, he vanishes.

"I hate that guy."

“I know, Cas, I know.”

[canarybell]

"He's too pure of a heart to be anybody's bit on the side" line is a little bit funnier if you consider that:

You can be "pure of a heart" and still be somebody's "bit on the side" - for example, if you don't know your partner has a permanent partner they cheat on with you. Of course, for Nina it will mean some nasty things about Crowley, but she already assumed he's cheating, so....

From some point of view (from Heaven's perspective, at least) Aziraphale has been cheating on Heaven with Crowley, and he did it successfully for a very long time, before being caught and leaving Heaven. All while doing the same thing cheating people would do - lying, making up excuses of why he was in a places he shouldn't have been, lying again, swearing allegiance, fearing of being caught, and at the same time - still having some doublethink and weird attachment to the the party being cheated on (compare "i'm a married man" despite being a cheater to "We're on the opposite sides" despite deceiving his side for millenia).

Of course, Aziraphale is not the one to judge in this situation - we all know Heaven are abusive to him, he never initially choose them, and it's kinda hard to just dump them (considering they are literally the most powerful beings in the world and can get you anywhere on Earth) etc. In Aziraphale's case it's not a bad thing at all. However, he still lied to someone for a very long time and did it deliberately and somewhat calculatedly, and that doesn't really go along with "too pure of heart".

So, from some point of view it's Crowley who was Aziraphale's bit on the side before the Armageddon't....

[mobius-m-mobius]

Fave shows tag game

Rules: List 5 favourite shows (in no particular order) and answer questions accordingly.

Life on Mars

Good Omens

Mad Dogs

Loki

Psych

@loki-is-my-kink-awakening Thank you so much for the tag lovely!! Putting my answers to the questions behind the cut 😊

1. Who is your favourite character in 2?

Oh no not this😅 Don't wanna start off totally indecisive but In all honesty Aziraphale and Crowley are such a package deal I've never been able to decide who I liked more so both it is!

2. Who is your least favourite character in 1?

Probably Frank Morgan since he's meant to give everyone the creeps and totally untrustworthy but if we're talking main cast then Ray because everyone else is just too good ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

3. What's your favourite episode of 4?

Episode two THE beloved my one and only 🥺💖 12/10 would gladly watch Owen and Tom sit around chatting and mirroring the cafeteria vibes either as Lokius or themselves for the rest of my days

4. What is your favourite season of 5?

Gotta be S2!! All the earlier seasons are gold so was very tempted by the latter half of S3 but S2's like a tour de force

5. What's your favourite relationship in 3?

Baxter and Quinn would an obvious one since John and Phil are married in every role and this is no exception but the dynamic between Baxter and Rick is so weirdly fascinating?? They just clash so instantly, usually to great disaster but will never stop themselves or learn from their mistakes, absolutely obsessed tbh

6. Who is your anti relationship in 2?

I don't really have one?? If pressed I wasn't interested in Anathema and Newt being shoved together for no real reason or the implication of ending up with someone because you're told but I don't have any active dislike for them or their pairing

7. How long have you watched 1?

Well I was pretty late to pick the show up and watched for the first time around three years ago, have since rewatched the entire series at least 5 times in full, and various clips more times than I could ever count lol

8. How did you become interested in 3?

Thank my url namesake, lol. Truly the most stunning TV experience start to finish I've had with a flawless all star cast and just criminally underrated show in general!!

9. Who is your favourite actor in 4?

🤣🤣 Feel as if I've walked right into this one and y'all don't even need to hear the answer but that would be Owen Wilson, whose take on Mobius has honestly been life changing for me 💖

10. Which show do you prefer 1, 2 or 5?

Oh man as much as I adore Psych I'm stuck between Life on Mars and Good Omens on this one... Oh this is the worst, okay, I'm going... Life on Mars! When taking the point of how much I love both main pairs out of the picture there are more elements of and characters in LoM I think I enjoy more

11. Which show have you seen more episodes of 1 or 3?

I've watched both fully through multiple times but Life on Mars just edges by with having more episodes so that'll be the one!

12. If you could be anyone from 4, who would you be?

Loki or Ravonna just for sheer proximity of how much time would be spent around Mobius lmao, literally my only primary consideration

13. How would you kill off your favourite character in 5?

Laughing so hard at this because ironically my favorite character in Psych has pondered many scenarios potentially resulting in his own death lmao. If necessary he'd probably prefer a blaze of glory gunfight but I don't think he'd mind being taken out by his favorite land mine going off?? "Sweet music. And then…nothin' but red mist." 😂

14. Would a 3/4 crossover work?

Not necessarily unless you mean would it work in terms of turning me on in ways I've yet to experience in this life because yes, yes, and YES 😳😳

15. Pair two characters in 1 that would make an unlikely, but strangely okay couple.

Idk if it would be the most unlikely but Sam and Chris would've been cute and I always enjoyed how earnestly Chris ended up admiring Sam's approach to the work and who he is as a person

16. Overall, which show has the better cast, 3 or 5?

I mean Mad Dogs is my favorite show of all time in part because of how talented the cast is in balancing their roles and I can't see that changing plus I'd follow those guys anywhere

Tagging @faylights, @too-funky, @safedistancefrombeingsmart, @symphony-in-silver, @colourfulwatson, @bebx, @linz33y, @michaelsheens, @veraynes-blog, @aleerax, @abitofboth, @eyeldritch, @lovingvincent, @seekers-who-are-lovers, @z-aliada, and @alternatively-undesignated as always only if y'all feel like it plus anyone else who wants to join! 💕

[penig]

Nobly, heroically, and willingly, shall I die for my fandom upon this hill:

When they're both thinking straight, Crowley and Aziraphale communicate flawlessly.

In Season 1, except when Aziraphale was deliberately withholding information at the bandstand, or panicking about the holy water, they understood each other very well. No cross-purpose winks, all their exactlies in line, Aziraphale’s lies and accusations of demonic Evil more ritual than anything else. They didn't disagree very often, though they pretended to, and except in two crucial scenes, when they disagreed,  they did not misunderstand.

They were talking in code - an allusion code - Old Friend Code, Married People Code. Pointy Eared Hobgoblin Code!

The flashback sequence of "Hard Times" gave us the key to that code. Once you realize that "Let's do the Ritz" = "If we're doing it we have to do it now, time is running out" everything they say to each other sounds different, including Aziraphale's friendship denials. S2 gave us the origins of more codes ("I lied. I'm a demon. That's what I do." Oh, so when Aziraphale said that in response to "Would I lie to you?" he was lightening in the mood! That's a running joke!) and also reinforced the codespeak by showing it hitting a road bump when Nina asks Aziraphale, in front of Crowley, about the naked guy. Aziraphale wants, desperately, to deny friendship with Gabriel, but he can't say "he's not my friend" in front of Crowley. With Crowley in the room, "he's not my friend" means "we go back a looooong way," and a moment later he says that, in the clear, unambiguously, about Crowley - but he is not saying that about Gabriel (to Crowley) and it is very much not true about Jim, who is the darkest of dark horses.

I know the fandom is very much against me and has always taken delight in how bad they are about communicating, etc., but I have textual evidence enough to defy the overwhelming consensus on this point. I think it was there in the book, and it’s there in the first series, and it falls apart in the second series as a deliberate authorial choice. I could be wrong, but I am willing to stand here in my wrongness and be wrong, if I am.

Because their old method of communication was built for spies communicating with each other under surveillance,  it doesn’t work for two people on Our Own Side. Aziraphale is willing to let go of it. He wants to let go of it – the direct requests, the physical contact, "our car," "our bookshop," saying the meaning of "we're not friends" in the clear, all the reaching out he does show that. But Crowley won’t, or he can’t. He doesn’t let go of always being the one to come to the rescue, he doesn’t move into the bookshop, he’s not comfortable with direct requests, he doesn’t move forward, he doesn't listen to Aziraphale, and therefore, they lose their ability to communicate. Aziraphale, unable to make honesty work, falls back on manipulation. On transactions: I let you into the bookshop, so you have to let me into the Bentley. On scenario building: it’s a ball, dance with me. Tactic after tactic, try after try, to get Crowley to hear what he's saying. And that, more than anything, sets up the Final Fifteen.

I find myself glomming onto this reading, and there’s no getting around the fact that it’s partly because of a lifetime of being the Only Honest Person in the Room. It is nearly impossible to communicate with people who won't meet you halfway, and I have always had to contend with that, with saying exactly what I mean in plain language only to have people respond to something entirely different. Until and unless I can convince somebody to engage with my actual words, until I can stop withholding truths that I know the other person will throw in my teeth, I can never get what I need out of conversation, can never say the Right Thing. That is exactly the problem Aziraphale is having, and I feel it, nauseatingly, in my bones.

The big question is, why does Crowley not hear him? We don't know can't from won't - all we can see is doesn't. He doesn't tell Aziraphale things Aziraphale needs to know - doesn't trust the person he's always relied on with information - chooses protection over partnership, doesn't listen to him, and we don't know why.

I wish we had seen an explanation for why Crowley isn’t living in the bookshop. I think it’s tolerably obvious that Aziraphale welcomed him there and Crowley refused, or didn’t notice, or tried it and couldn’t take – something; the dust, the clutter, the neighbors wandering in and out, the terrifying sensation of getting what he wanted and having to decide what that actually means, I don’t know, and it’s important.

But we didn’t see that and people accustomed to blaming Aziraphale find it equally obvious that Crowley asked and was told no, or is waiting for an invitation that hasn’t been extended. I think we really need to know this in order to understand where they are in E1 and how they wind up in the total breakdown of communication they have at the Final Fifteen.