#criminal lack of 1 in the tags and only i can fix it.

[tackledkey]

free my girl ok she did all that but y'all annoying af about it

[raineandsky]

Frienemies

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4)

The cafe is quiet by this time of night. Jace has already been sitting there for ten anxious minutes, the only other patron, when the bell over the door finally announces a new visitor. They stand a little too quickly as Maxi flings the door open with a content sigh, only just keeping their emotions in check as the criminal throws their arms around their neck.

“Long time no see!” they proclaim brightly. Jace carefully pries them off them, catching the uncertain frown they get at the gesture.

“Did you hear the news?” they ask flatly, and Maxi shrugs lazily as they settle down at the table.

“About [Superhero]? Yeah.” They reach across to steal a sip of Jace’s drink. They tag on a heartless “tragic,” when they don’t sit down as well.

“Apparently [Villain] got him.”

Their hand pauses halfway to returning the cup to its saucer. “Yeah. They clearly had a grudge,” Maxi offers, but it’s nowhere near genuine. Jace scoffs.

“Heroes are meant to have their villains. What were they thinking, going off like that and killing someone so important? As if we’re not already at war.” 

Maxi’s eyebrows pinch slightly. “Maybe… they wanted to make a change to the heroes. Not the most wonderful set of people.”

“After this, though–” Jace trains their stare intensely onto Maxi. “I bet [Hero] will want them dead.”

Their gaze flits up to meet theirs for a moment, caught off guard, before it returns back down to the table in front of them. “Hopefully not. Maybe one day [Hero] will see it was for them.”

Jace slides the drink across the table to their companion. “I doubt that. Have the rest – I’ve lost my appetite.”

“You’ve lost your appetite for a drink?” Maxi says with a confused frown, but Jace doesn’t even grace them with a reply as they turn on their heel and disappear into the evening on their own.

-

There’s a warm spring breeze on the roof this evening. The hero’s usual outfit makes the pleasantness of the weather almost suffocating so they watch the city living its life, focusing on the tiny lights moving below instead of what’s about to happen.

The metal door clunks loudly off the wall behind them, and their hard gaze meets with the villain’s enthusiastic one as they turn, though they don’t miss the slight nervous glaze over it.

“Odd place for a fight, isn’t it?” they call across the rooftop. They stay uncharacteristically in the safety of the stairwell doorway, several metres away. “You want to throw me off it? You mad at me about your loser of a boss?”

“You went for [Superhero],” the hero emphasises coldly.

The villain shrugs nonchalantly, though there’s a flash of uncertainty when the hero reaches into their belt. “It’s been a long time coming, hasn’t it? He deserved it.”

“He didn’t deserve to die.” The metallic sheen of their weapon catches in the dull lamplight. The villain doesn’t miss it. “Maybe you do, though, for ever thinking he did.”

The safety catch of the hero’s gun clicks as it comes off, and the villain flinches at the sound. They laugh, the usual confidence of the sound lacking. “You spoke to… a civilian, right? Surely they told you why I had to do what I did.”

“I don’t take civilian advice on heroic matters.” They raise the gun towards their nemesis. The villain only has a second to register what they’re doing before the gun fires with a deafening crack. The sound, accompanied by the brick crumbling just above their shoulder, is enough to set them in motion.

They dart back down the stairs and the hero gives chase. A second clap follows them, the bullet plinking off the handrail next to them, dangerously, terrifyingly, threateningly close. The villain throws the door open at the bottom without a single regard, deliriously free in the open air.

The feeling is only fleeting as a bang follows them out of the tower. Something rips through their coat and they stumble. They catch themself, barely slowing down – they can’t stop moving now. This isn’t something they can fix with the hero. They’ll have to take it up with Jace. They can’t do that if they’re shot before then, though.

“[Villain]!” the hero shouts hoarsely over the echoing car park. They don’t stop, don’t look back, don’t even think about them as they skid to slow themself for the corner. Once they’re around this building the villain have the entire city to lose them in. They’ve made it.

“Maxi!” the hero tries again, the resentment lost to a barely hidden desperation. The villain doesn’t give the name the time of day, escaping around the building and into the city.

(Part 4)

[naruto-general-opinions]

(Any quote shortening and cuts is just for length.)

that your anon put forth a serious accusation on the floor without any sort of evidence

Which anon? Because from what I see, neither anon put evidence of their claim.

As the moderator of this blog, if you truly care about making this a safe place for people to put their experiences, do so by validating the claims you see, especially considering the fact that what you have posted can legitimately be called libel is the face of a lack of evidence of said claims and unclear ones at that

I’d validate them if I had any. Except for the last two replies, I posted all of what I was given. None of which were proof of claims of either side.

Many of the "opinions" you put seem mean-spirited to me and attack fandoms who generally want to be here to enjoy their fandom experience of showcasing their love of characters in Naruto.

Of course a blog talking about one’s personal bad experience seems like a mean-spirited attack. Some people like that about this blog. It’s a blog about ships, characters and the fandom on a whole. Most of the time it’s a call-out than an attack. Likewise, it’s at times very generous in warm and passionate posts.

Not sure about showcasing love for a character when the blog is very clear on allowing it. If you want to enjoy a certain experience, posts are tagged to the best of my ability.

And it's very funny to me that many of your "replies" you put rarely responds back aside from the "war criminal" response you put out as a reblog in order to give an "example" of "gaslighting" and showcasing "micro-aggressions" and "anti-blackness/racism".

Hilarious.

I posted what I received, minus the last two, which apart from me and the senders, who knows what they say.

if you can't provide any sort of evidence then all it seems like is you're attacking a group of people of a character you generally don't like and that is not only unfair but defaming a group of people in said fandom.

The blog doesn’t say you don’t need proof of such a serious accusation. Or any accusation, really. Just that no one ever really provides any because it’s intent when created was for rants on personal experience. And because they’re not sure if they’re allowed to. Or how to go about doing so, And to be honest, I’m not entirely sure myself - as I wasn’t expecting for anyone to ask or provide any.

OP, you call yourself a general opinions blog and yet refuse to put out the "heated responses" you're getting unless they agree with this take you decided to put there claiming it's an opinion.

Hun, I can’t post replies I never got. And you can’t possibly know what I received and what I refused to post.

Calling a group in fandom as "anti-black" and "racist," especially with the tone your anon has put, is not an opinion,

It’s never called an opinion.

If you truly care about this you would put a call out post with receipts so that this could be fixed

Love to. As soon as I get them. I got call outs, posted them. Got none with receipts.

All I got are these

#1

#2

So yes, OP, proof is necessary because this is not an opinion. This is an accusation, and if you can't provide that from your anon, then prepare to get reported.

Again, blog doesn’t say proof isn’t necessary or that serious accusations are an opinion. Just that the blog had certain intents when created - one being an open rant of ships, characters and fandom.

If the blog allows/requires proof of claim it certainly won’t be the first time it’s gone though a change.

[pipipinyyy]

Explaining why I have added every song in my entire and very long Niragi playlist because I can and because over analyzing him is my passion (I usually update it from time to time but I'll do it with the current songs)

Completely self indulgent post, but I decided to share to feed my fellow Niragi stans (*˙︶˙*)☆*°

This is entirely based on my view of the songs and how I interpret them while thinking about Niragi. I'm aware that most of them have entirely different meanings, this is just for fun :) (Also sorry if my explanations don't make much sense, English is not my first language and I might make mistakes when trying to put my feelings and thoughts into words)

This may contain manga/s2 spoilers

Hayloft-Mother Mother: Vibes

Criminal-Britney Spears: The whole song describes him ("he is a sucker with a gun") and the fandom's obsession ("mama I'm in love with a criminal")

Daddy Issues-The Neighborhood: I feel like he would act like this, using the most vulnerable spots to pick on someone ("cry little girl, nobody does it like you do")

Psycho-Jin Dogg, OVER KILL: Vibes

Riot-Hollywood Undead: He'd definitely start a riot like he did in the 10 of hearts, burning and destroying anything that crosses his path

Bitches-Mindless Self Indulgence: He most likely thinks he's a total fuckboy and popular with girls since he can get almost anything he wants out of scarying people

Baby's on Fire-Die Antwoord: Vibes

Insane in the Brain-Cypress Hill: This man is being consumed by his own way of protecting himself

Wolf in Sheep's Clothing-Set It Off: Based on how he feels towards the people who hurt him in the past ("Listen, mark my words, one day, you will pay" "You've always been a huge piece of shit, if I could kill you, I would" "Karma is gonna come collect your debt")

Death no more-IC3PEAK: Vibes

Gasoline-I Prevail: Sort of similar to Riot, ("So burn it all down, burn it all down, I don't give a fuck")

Toxic-Britney Spears: The whole fandom knows how much of a piece of shit this dude can be, but we still find ourselves liking/enjoying his character (to an extent), a toxic addiction

Nice Guy-GRLwood: As much as I love this man, he'd use the "I'm a nice guy c'mon" card just to fuck. If he wants to, he'll get it, if he doesn't, he'll most likely get mad

Dernière danse-Indila: Vibes

TRRST-IC3PEAK: Mostly vibes, I kinda see this song as how he felt the first time he killed someone on purpose inside the borderlands ("mama they say I'm a terrorist, I did nothing wrong but I got on the blacklist")

Saint Bernard-Lincoln: Vibes

Nowhere To Run-Stegosaurus Rex: Being with him at the Beach would either be ignoring each other completely or a game of tag, no inbetween. If this man wants to kill you, he'll get his fun time out of it as well ("You're gonna die, I'm gonna kill you")

The House of Wolves-Bring Me The Horizon: Based on how he sees life after being consumed by his current mental state ("Show me a sign, show me a reason to give a solitary fuck about your god damn beliefs" "What you call faith, I call a sorry excuse")

Smells Blood-Kensuke Ushio: Vibes

SIU-Maretu: Similar to Daddy Issues, don't expect this man to be a therapist. If he sees anyone crying or panicking in or outside a game, he'd most likely tell them to suck it up, just like this song.

Judgement-Kensuke Ushio: Vibes

MONSTER ENERGY GUN!-KevinKempt: Vibes + He for sure has an energy drink addiction, specially pre-borderlands

HURT-1 800 PAIN: Vibes

Fear Is The Mind Killer-Zheani: Vibes

I Bet on Losing Dogs: Based on how I know Niragi is toxic, and most likely unsaveable of his deteriorating mental state, but I still have him as my biggest comfort character ("I bet on losing dogs, I know they're losing and I'll pay for my place")

Emo Boy-Ayesha Erotica: He's been in an emo phase (and maybe still is), the lyrics are pretty self explanatory, they describe us Niragi simps perfecrly ("come on fuck me emo boy")

Crybaby-Destroy Boys: Vibes

The Fox's Wedding-MASA Works DESIGEN: Vibes

You're a useless child-Kikuo: We don't know much about his past, but judging by the unstoppable bullying he's suffered, his parents didn't care about him, or were straight up absent. He's been insulted by pretty much everyone in his past to the point of believing it and telling those things to himself ("You're a useless child, the most useless child in this world" "Drool in snot, dandruff, shit and piss" "I'm a useless child" "Nobody will save me" "I'm a lonely kid")

Take A Slice-Glass Animals: Vibes

Fighting With The Melody-Jimmy Urine: Vibes

Comics-Caravan Palace: Vibes

Rhinestone Eyes-Gorillaz: Vibes

Butch 4 Butch-Rio Romero: Mostly vibes, sort of how I think the most "peacefull" moments in a relationship with him would feel like, kind of bittersweet feeling

Suki Suki Daisuki-Jun Togawa: Yandere Niragi. If he's interested in someone, he'd go through an obsessive phase, most likely forcing the other person to "love" him. This man is so confused about the feeling of love that he's unable to tell when he loves someone or when he's obsessed with them due to his lack of attention ("Like you, like you, I love you. Say you love me or I'll kill you")

:(-The Garden: Vibes

Kitty City-Cyriak Harris: Vibes

Blood-My Chemical Romance: If Niragi went to a therapist, he'd act like this song, with his signature cocky and sarcastic personality (at least before he gets better) ("I can't control myself because I don't know how" "They can fix me proper with a bit of luck" "I'm the kind of human wreckage that you love")

A Mask of My Own Face-Lemon Demon: He feels like he needs to protect himself or else he will get hurt inside the borderlands by others again. He uses another personality, a completely ruthless one, even if he doesn't like it and hates himself for it, he doesn't see another way to deal with his fear, allowing his "new self" to consume himself. ("I'd wear that mask of my own face" "I look into my eyeholes and what do I see? A handsome motherfucker motherfucking looking back at me")

I'm a Murderer-Freddie Dredd: Mostly vibes ("I'm a motherfucking murderer")

'Cause I'm a Liar-Mcki Robyns-P: He would lie just for fun even in serious situations. If he needs to manipulate someone to survive, he'll do it his way, after all, he doesn't care anymore, he just seeks for excitement. ("Without emotion, without devotion. It's much easier to fake something happy")

I Disagree-Poppy: I don't know exactly how to describe it, but I feel like this is how he sees and feels the world and those around him, feeling misunderstood and going his own way ("If only all of you could see the world I see, then maybe everyone could live in harmony")

Personal Jesus-Mindless Self Indulgence: He has a superiority complex, that's for sure. I don't think he sees himself as a god, but I see him joking about it

Rainbow Factory-GLAZE, WoodenToaster: Vibes

Frontier Psychiatrist-The Avalanches: I kinda see this as Aguni taking the role of Niragi's "father figure" inside the borderlands, realizing he's turning insane and is unable to control him ("That boy needs therapy")

Hate it. Hate it. "JIGAHIDAI!"-WADATAKEAKI Kurage P: Jealousy. I can see it either in a pre-borderland situation where he hates the popular students in school, or inside the borderlands hating both Chishiya and Arisu. Jealousy takes over him constructing a big ego, causing himself to develop his superiority complex ("You see, I hate that popular girl!" "Does she think I don't notice? How she looks at me as if I'm trash" "I want to be praised" "I'm different from you all, I have my own ego! I'm not a side character" "I have zero common sense. I'm special")

Villain-Stella Jang: He knows damn well he's a villain, that's his goal after all, but what if someone took his point of view? wouldn't the villains be all of those who hurted him in the first place? ("We all pretend to be the heroes on the good side, but what if we are the villains on the other")

Violent-carolesdaughter: This is how I view an argument inside a relationship with Niragi. He's used to violence, to cause fear, and getting what he wants, so being in a healthy relationship would require a lot of patience and strenght. While he's getting better and suppressing those violent actions, there will be times where he accidentally uses violence or threatens the other person unintentionally, mostly hurting himself and his partner psychologically. The lyrics change between both points of view ("Don't make me get violent, I want my ring back baby that's a diamond" "She knows I'm a wreck" "I gave you all my trust and I told you just don't break it")

Hey Bunny-Baby Bugs: Based on how I think it would feel to partner up with him inside the borderlands and catching feelings for him while knowing the huge mess he is ("Hey bunny, what's with those evil eyes?" "Hey bunny, what the hell is wrong with us?" "Hey bunny, what if I loose you too? If I become the monster, together we can always be blue")

Kokoronashi-majiko: I'm pretty sure Niragi isn't able to see himself as someone able to love, even if he doesn't want to be alone (just like when he confesses this feeling while fighting with Chishiya and Arisu). If someone truly loved him and was willing to not letting him go, it would hurt. He can't see himself as someone who can love or be loved, so he can't accept the love he's seeking for in case that turns him "weaker" making his true self confront with the protective mean personality he's created. He could learn how to accept it, so he might want the other person to stay in the end, but it wouldn't be easy for him to accept it ("It's awful, I'd rather you destroy my body, tear it to sheds, do as you please" "No matter how much I'm loved by you, my heart is just one" "I don't know this, don't leave me alone")

Nightmare Parade-FAKE TYPE.: Vibes

Slipping Through My Fingers-Meryl Streep, Amanda Seyfried: Niragi seeing himself loosing his young, gentle and caring personality due to his fear, being unable to control what's happening inside, nostalgia and sadness kicking in ("The feeling that I'm loosing her forever" "That funny little girl" "Sometimes I wish that I could freeze the picture and save it from the funny tricks of time")

Kuroneko No Tango-Pink Martini, The Von Trapps: Vibes

YKWIM?-Yot Club: Him confroting his feelings of loneliness when he's left alone with his thoughts ("It feels like I care too much when I'm alone, oh no")

Romantic Lover-Eyedress: Just appreciating his physical appearance ("She's a killer, I love her features")

Wrecking Ball-Mother Mother: Based on how he sees himself as someone who needs to destroy everything in a way or another in order to be powerful + the fun he has with it ("Call me a reckless wrecking ball" "Let's break it just because we can")

Edge-Rezz: Vibes

Freaks-Surf Curse: Again, confronting feelings when loving someone, but not in such a painful as Kokoronashi ("I need a place to stay where I can cover up my face" "Don't cry, I'm just a freak")

Little Bit-Lykke Li: Vibes

6up 5oh Cop-Out (Pro/Con)-Will Wood and the Tapeworms: Vibes

PHONKY TOWN-PlayaPhonk: Vibes

I WANNA BE YOUR SLAVE-Måneskin: Freaky time. He would absolutely love this song, definitely his type of thing ("You could be the beauty and I could be the monster" "I wanna touch your body so fucking electric" "I wanna make you hungry, then I wanna feed you")

#BrooklynBloodPop!-SyKo: Vibes

A Cold Freezin' Night-The Books: Vibes

A Pearl-Mitski: My most favorite song to associate with Niragi. Represents his evolution as a character. Creating an scenario where he is loved by someone,he rejects it at first, acting tough ("I don't want your touch") and then proceeds to explain why ("It's just that I fell in love with a war, nobody told me it ended" "it left a pearl in my hand and I roll it around every night just to watch it glow") the war being the borderlands and his new personality, he loved it, but nobody drew a line and it's getting out of hand. The pearl is the feeling of power, the one he has to remember when feeling weak just to feel something. At the end of the song it changes to ("Sorry I can't take your touch"), realizing that he wants love, but he's not able to take it or else he'll become the Niragi from the past

Problematic-Bo Burnham: Him acknowledging his problematic actions but not wanting to apologize because he doesn't feel the need to. He knows he's done bad things but he is going to laugh at it and be a sarcastic mf about it

First Love/Late Spring-Mitski: Similar to Kokoronashi, he wouldn't be able to accept love and how it makes him feel. He would think that he prefers for everyone to hate him and be lonely instead of sacrificing his tougher side. Also talks about how he's grown way too quickly for him to understand feelings properly ("So please hurry leave me, I can't breathe, please don't say you love me" "One word from you and I would jump out of this ledge I'm on baby" "I was so young when I behaved 25, yet now I find I've grown into a tough child"

The Other Side Of Paradise-Glass Animals: Vibes

Bodybag-Chloe Moriondo: How I feel about liking his character, confronting feelings basically ("Don't know if I hate you or if I wanna date you" "I don't wanna like you, I just wanna tie you up, then keep you in a cage and watch you sleep for ages"

Get Into It (Yuh)-Doja Cat: Vibes

Psycho Killer-2005 Remaster- Talking Heads: Vibes

HOT DEMON B!TCHES NEAR U!!!-CORPSE, Night Lovell: Vibes

INFERNO-Sub Urban, Bella Poarch: Again, another song that describes him pretty well ("Baby I'm the reason why hell's so hot" "Terribly like terrible, she's a villain" "Think I'm getting butterflies but it's really something telling me to run away")

Bad Morning-Omori: Vibes

Trouble Brewing: Vibes

Dueles Tan Bien-Bruses: Another song about my confronting feelings with this man ("You know what? You taste better than alcohol to me. You know that and you've got control" "Because you hurt, and you hurt so good that I don't know what to do")

And that's it!! This took me the whole day to write but it makes me very happy to be able to share it :)

I've you've read the entire thing, hope you enjoyed the character analysis! ლ(◞‿◟ლ)

[andromedasstarship]

in the stars - chapter 2

photo credits - @ssahotchnerr

pairing - aaron hotchner x reader

warnings - canon-typical criminal minds violence, show rating 16+ for reference. depictions of violence, stalking, murder, angst, age gap couple, language 

summary - You and Aaron reunite, but it’s not exactly anything to celebrate over. The case moves forward, but you really wish it hadn’t like this.  

a/n - no one is allowed to call me out on my lack of LA/california geographical knowledge. ive also started including readers mental thought train which is italicized (flashbacks will also be in italics, but ill always properly mark a flashback). if you arent tagged but asked, just send another ask/reply! i mustve missed it on accident.

blog rules 

masterlist // read it on ao3 here

chapter 1 // chapter 3

-----

Chapter 2 

Aaron Hotchner was standing in front of you. Impeccable, not even a slight crease in his shoes and suit pressed to perfection. He still smelled faintly like cedar, a thought you quickly tried to send away; it was too late though, already remembering how pitiful it was post breakup, when you would smell the shirts he left at your house, a desperate attempt to remember that he existed in your life. You’d spent hours, days even, thinking about how you’d react if you were ever to see Aaron in person again. At the top of the list was screaming at him, really giving him a piece of your mind for leaving the way he did. Or, maybe you’d be cool and composed, the epitome of maturity and ‘I’m Totally Over You’. You’d even considered completely ignoring him, not even giving him a second glance. Instead you were frozen to the spot, staring up at the man who broke your heart. 

Pulling your eyes away from him, they darted towards the gap between his body and outside, internally debating if you’d be able to somehow sneak around him. As if he could read your mind, not like you had been particularly subtle, he moved to close the gap before you had the chance to fully formulate an escape. 

“Y/N,” he tried again, voice a bit firmer this time around. It’d be better if he couldn’t speak. But then again he had such a beautiful voice-. No, you mentally clamped down on that thought before it could lead you down another rabbit hole. “Why didn’t you tell me?” 

“Tell you, uh, what?” You asked, hyper aware of how mousy you must’ve sounded.

“That someone was murdering women that looked like you. You should’ve called my team sooner, it was irresponsible to put yourself at further risk of-” 

“Are you trying to imply that this is somehow my fault, Agent Hotchner?” The words felt bitter on your tongue. It wasn’t like you, to suddenly be so quick to anger. Years in the spotlight had taught you to hold your tongue, but Aaron’s words managed to cut right through. 

“That’s not what I’m saying, you know that-,” he tried to interject, but you weren’t going to back down so easy. 

“I know what Agent? Please, tell me the acceptable response to this situation,” you spat out at him, finding a brief enjoyment in the way his face scrunched up ever so slightly. “The police were working on the case, I’ve dealt with weirdos before.” Aaron opened his mouth again as if to speak, but you weren’t finished, “You really think I believed you’d answer if I called?” 

His face fell at that and you felt some form of internal victory swell in your chest. Y/N 1 point, Aaron Hotchner 0. The victory was short lived though, as you came to the realization that the two of you were still in a very public setting. 

“I’m not going to fight with you Agent, I suggest you get back to your team.” With that you shoved your way past him, stomping the entire way to your car. It was a shame, the way the anger and sadness was consuming you, maybe if it hadn’t, this time you would’ve noticed the clicking coming from the tree line. 

----

Hotch wished you had been angry; it would’ve been easier to handle you if you had been screaming in his face or throwing low-blow comments his way. He could deal with anger. It’d be easier if he could pretend that you were being completely out of line and could warrant being ignored for the rest of the case. 

That wasn’t you though, and he knew this. He didn’t have to be a profiler to see and hear the way you struggled to hold yourself together. He didn’t need to be a profiler to feel how disappointed you were with him. Hotch didn’t know how to deal with this or you.  Even though it had been months, had he truly fallen so far from your graces; was your opinion so lowly of him now? 

Hotch wasn’t sure which was worse to stomach, the fact that you had such little faith in him or the deep rooted feeling in his gut that told him you were right- had you called him unannounced two months ago, he wouldn’t have picked up the phone. 

----

You sat in your car for twenty minutes, at least. It was pitiful, the way you were crying in your car, to a sad playlist, over a guy who hurt your feelings; it felt like high school all over again. In the moment, you had felt good, the way you watched Aaron’s face twist and fall at your words giving you some sick form of satisfaction. 

It’s not like you had lied to him or anything. You hadn’t even stretched the truth for ultimate impact. The whole overly formal ‘Agent’ thing was definitely on purpose though. No, you had meant every word you said to Aaron, especially about not believing he’d answer if you called. What would you have even said if you called and he did pick up? Hi Aaron, remember me? Good, anyway hope you’re doing well but I think I have a murderous stalker, can you help? Actually, that’s probably exactly how the conversation would’ve gone, but that’s beside the point. 

The point was that even if you could trust the Unit Chief of the BAU to do his job, you weren’t sure you could trust Aaron Hotchner anymore. 

----

When you finally did muster up the courage to return to the conference room, you really wished you hadn’t. You should’ve just turned your car on and left. Was it possible to ghost the FBI? You’d heard enough stories from Aaron about how their tech wizard had found people with just a single loose thread, there was definitely no way you were going to make some spy like disappearance. 

Aaron wasn’t in the room, something you were grateful for in the moment. But what you weren’t grateful for was how the team had managed to set up multiple bulletin boards in your absence; filled with your photo, crime scene photos, the dead women and your personal least favorite, the dead women’s bodies. 

Of course, you knew what was going on, you were a big girl, well old enough to understand and process the gravity of the situation. But you’d only seen photos of the women alive, with personality and humanity; something about that made them look less like you and more like them. Looking at them now- dead, eyes closed, faces tilted away from the camera- these women didn’t just look like you, they were you. 

You hadn’t even realized you were drifting closer to one of the boards until you felt a hand pull at the crook of your elbow. Turning your head ever so slightly you saw JJ, giving you one of her nice looks again. 

“Y/N, you don’t need to see these,” JJ started, already pulling you in the opposite direction. You were about to agree, head already halfway to a full nod when you noticed something from the corner of your eye. 

“Wait!” You exclaimed, pulling your arm back and getting right in front of a photo of victim #2. You very gently pulled the photo of the wall and held it closely in front of your face. Were you allowed to move it? Oh well. You felt the rest of the team’s eyes burning holes through your back so you turned to face them. “I, um, I’m pretty sure the sweater she’s wearing is mine.” You said, voice coming out as a whisper. 

The team certainly seemed to liven up at that statement. Even though they hadn’t even been in LA for a full 24 hours yet, it was obvious from the start that LAPD hadn’t been lacking on the case, rather the unsub was just that good. They reported no evidence from any dump sites,- and now those sites had been contaminated far too much to double check- there had been no witnesses for any of the abductions, and the unsub hadn’t attempted any contact with Y/N; all in all, they had nothing. 

“Y/N, are you sure?” Emily asked, she was quickly pulling photos of the other three women down, bringing them over to the roundtable. “Are the women in these photos wearing anything else you recognize?” 

“Yeah, yeah I’m sure. There’s a little hole right there, on the side, the threads were pretty loose and I got stuck on a doorknob once, ripped it right open. I couldn’t find it when I went to fix it, just assumed I threw it away and forgot.” You said quietly, moving your way to the table. Your brain wasn’t working properly, hadn’t quite yet come to the conclusion that the rest of the agents already reached. He had gotten into your house. “Oh my god.” You whispered, voice shaking. “He was in my house, wasn’t he?” 

The agents all looked down at you with sympathetic gazes before Emily finally spoke up again. “We can’t be sure just yet, but I need you to look at these photos and tell me if you recognize anything else okay? Can you do that for me?” 

You nodded, making your way over to the table and taking a seat. You were well aware one of the agents just called for Hotch, but you couldn’t be bothered with that right now. 

----

“Hotch,” Derek said, his voice urgent as he rounded the corner, interrupting whatever conversation Hotch was having with a random officer, “Y/N recognized the sweater victim #2 was wearing at the dumpsite as hers. Emily’s showing her the rest of the photos and it’s looking like the unsub left something of hers on each one.” 

That certainly got Hotch’s attention. He didn’t need Derek to fill in the blank, the unsub had been in your house. His fists tightened at his side and he couldn’t help the way his face twisted in anger. In this state, Derek knew better than to question this unusually personal reaction, instead just angling his body back towards the conference room. He didn’t even have a chance to open his mouth before Hotch brushed past him, making his way back to you. 

----

Starting with a photo of victim #1, you very slowly pulled it closer in front of you. Oh my god, her neck. Obviously, you’ve seen bruises before, been on a whole bunch of film sets that used makeup to create some pretty gory pieces, but nothing like this. The unsub didn’t just stangle these women, it was like he wanted to completely crush their throats. 

One of the agents behind you was questioning your ability to stomach this, so you quickly forced yourself to focus. It was the least you could do for these poor women, just give them your undivided attention for ten minutes, and then you could deal with everything else later.

Your finger traced over the bracelet victim #1 was wearing. “This is mine. There’s a singular heart engraved on the back of the third diamond’s plating. I bought it for myself after I got cast in my first big role, cried for weeks when I ‘lost’ it.” 

“And what about this one?” Emily asked, gently pulling victim #1’s photo away from you and replacing it with #4. You didn’t miss the way she turned the photos you’d already looked at upside down, as if to further shield you from them. Nor did you miss that she was technically skipping victim #3. 

It didn’t take you long to notice what was yours on victim #4. “It’s the dress, it’s really comfy, I used to wear it a lot, like a lot a lot. I brought it with me so often on trips I just assumed it got left in a hotel room somewhere.” 

Emily nodded, taking back that photo and turning it over as well. You could see her hesitation in showing you victim #3, but she slid it across the table to you as well. Her fingertips ghosting on the edge of the photo, ready to pull it back as soon as you gave an answer.

Victim #3 was tough. She looked the most like you, both when she was alive and certainly the way she looked now. 

You took a sharp intake of breath as you looked down at her the first thing that caught your eye was the necklace. Most certainly yours and most certainly the one that Aaron had given you for your three year anniversary. You realized it was lost a few months after the breakup and nearly tore your house apart looking for it; you didn’t have many things from your relationship with Aaron to prove he was once part of your life, making the few things you did have all the more important. “The necklace, there’s an A engraved on the back and I’m pretty sure those shoes are mine too.” Emily swept the photo back and out of view as soon as the last words left your lips. 

“JJ, get those items out of evidence immediately so we can be absolutely sure,” Hotch ordered. Aaron. You hadn’t even realized he had walked into the room, you turned to look at him, eyes wide with sadness and fear. The tears that were beginning to form tugged viciously on his heart.  “Miss L/N, my team and I are going to escort you back to your home and we’re going to need to canvas it for signs of entry and identify if anything else is missing. Is that okay?” He asked, his voice soft with something most of the members couldn’t place. 

You simply nodded at that, glad that you wouldn’t have to be alone, “Do you need my address, or will you just follow my car?” There was definitely humor in that, Aaron already knew exactly where you lived and the code to get through the gates. 

“Your address is already in our files, but for your safety we’ll be following close behind.” He assured you. The rest of the team was jumping into action, grabbing their personal belongings along with copious amounts of gloves and bags you assumed would be for potential evidence. 

As you all exited the building and entered your respective vehicles, it was Reid who realized where he’d heard that softness in Hotch’s voice before. It was the same tone he used to use with Hayley, back when things were good. 

----

Your house wasn’t far and it was a drive you knew well; grateful for the ability to somewhat distract yourself on the road. The gatesman to your development gave you a real odd look when you told him the two black SUV’s filled with FBI agents were with you, but you couldn’t care less about which neighbor he might spread that info too. Did you see? L/N brought in the FBI, wonder what she’s caught up in. At least all the neighbors and workers had signed airtight NDAs, no one was allowed to talk to any outsiders about the personal happenings of their fellow residents. 

Your house was towards the top of the hill, with a great overlook to the ocean. You had only been 20 when you bought the house and you viewed it as the ultimate achievement of all your hard work and determination. You couldn't shake the bad taste in your mouth as you pulled up the driveway. The house felt tainted now, something you were never sure you’d be able to shake. 

----

Once again, not exactly how you imagined the entire team entering your house for the first time. Your house was extensive, as were the grounds; the team quickly realized they would probably be here for the rest of the day and well into the night.

You were standing awkwardly in the middle of your foyer, unsure of how to exactly approach this situation. “So, there’s about 10 rooms in the house, not including the kitchen and general living spaces, as well with the basement which is technically one big room. I made maps once as a joke, I think I have some in the office, if you wanted those? Or we could do one big house tour and you can break off that way,” you were so rambling, but them being in your house and why they were in your house was setting in, “or you can just go off however you want-” 

“Miss L/N,” JJ said, there was that nice look again, “why don’t you show me around the house so I can get a base level understanding of everything there is. The rest of my team will go start a basic canvas of the inside and the grounds as well.” Thank you JJ. 

You nodded at this, glad that someone else was taking control of the situation. Before you could lead JJ towards the kitchen, your phone started to ring, startling you. When did you get this skittish? 

“My friend is calling,” you said, holding up your phone, “I gotta take this, I was supposed to meet him for coffee a few minutes ago.” You excused yourself, quickly making your way to an empty room away from the rest of the team. Your friend was annoyed at your more than last minute cancellation, but luckily he didn’t pry too hard and accepted your flimsy “I’m not feeling too well’ excuse on the first go. 

“I know, I’m sorry, but I promise I’ll make it up to you as soon as I feel better. Yeah, I love you too. I gotta go, bye.” As you hung up, you could feel a gaze burning into the back of your head. Turning around, you found Aaron staring down at you from the doorway. How long had he been there? 

“You should have told us about your boyfriend sooner. Trying to protect him from questioning will only-”

“I don’t have a boyfriend,” you exclaimed, a bit too hurriedly, “I, uh, I’m not seeing anyone at all actually, haven’t in a while.” Smooth. 

Aaron was smart enough to read through the lines and understand what you had left unsaid. His gaze didn’t give up, but you could’ve swore you saw relief somewhere in his eyes. You weren’t sure if you were supposed to say something, or if he was supposed to say something, or should you walk out, or- 

“Neither have I.” Hotch’s voice broke through your thoughts, but just as quickly as he said it, he turned on his heel and left you alone in the room.

----

a/n - if anyone is wondering ive 100% cried multiple times at how kind and supportive everyone has been with me about this story. we’re only 2 chapters in but im already sad for it to end. yes i 100% have a bunch of other wip ideas for hotch. anywaaaaaaay, replies/asks/comments/reblogs/likes always appreciated! thank you so much for reading 

Taglist: @mac99martin @iwaizumiee @kylorendrip @hqtchner @lieswithoutfairytales @ssahoodrathotchner @midsummernightdream @weasleylovers @evans-dejong @itsmytimetoodream @yoshigguk @28cnn @cuddlyklaus @hotch-meeeeeuppppp

no permission is given to republish or upload my fics anywhere else. if you see this story not on my tumblr or ao3 it is stolen work. i do not own criminal minds or any of the characters involved

[citadelspires]

since I’m more or less back in business I feel it’s past time I ramble about another au I will (probably) never write. I’ll start off simple with an amphibia owl house au I was thinking up last night at work. (slight disclaimer that I have not seen any of season 2 yet so this is with exclusively information through the end of season 1). Concept below the cut cause it’s a pretty extensive one.

The concept starts at the same point the owl house does, more or less. Camila is concerned, Luz is getting sent to summer camp etc. etc. This time she gets distracted by an unusually pink frog hopping into the woods, and decides she probably has time to go chase after it. So she follows it into the woods until she suddenly trips over something and falls to the ground, turning around she sees it to be a music box sticking out of the forest floor. Curious, she digs it up and starts examining it. She thinks it’s really pretty and she’s about to open it when she hears voices coming from nearby and goes to check it out.

She finds Willow and Amity in a small clearing, think essentially the scene in the actual owl house where she sees them for the first time, except here they’re both human, though Luz doesn’t know them because they both go to some pretentious private school, Amity because she’s a Blight so she had to, and Willow because she got a scholarship for it and didn’t have the heart to tell her dads she didn’t really want to go. The scene plays out in a similar fashion to how it does in the actual show, with the exception that this time without the magic element Luz doesn’t feel the need to keep hiding and instead marches up from her hiding place to chew out Amity for being a jerk. Unfortunately she stumbles on a tree root as she approaches and, still holding the music box, accidentally pops the lid open.

So that’s how the three of them get transported to Amphibia. I like the idea of taking the setup and world of Amphibia, which we’ve seen through the lens of the characters that got transported all being close “friends”, and coming at it from a different perspective, i.e. one of them is a complete stranger to the other two and the two that do know eachother are already not on very good terms going in. (Amity and Willow have essentially the same history in the au that they do in toh).

Luz is dropped right in the middle of Newtopia, and while she’s very excited about the prospect of a fantasy adventure, she’s also pretty worried that she has no idea how to get back home, and she doesn’t take to the city as well as Marcy did. Part of this is due to her having her doubts about the ruler of Amphibia, who in this case is not Andrias, but Lilith(I understand Belos is probably a more fitting character for the role but I just don’t know enough of his character or really care about him enough to implement him, so Lilith it is! She’s more interesting for the setup anyway, depending on what Andrias’ weird master thing ends up being, maybe that would be a belos type deal but honestly I’d probably just not implement that part into this. If you can’t tell this is much less a “amphibia but with the owl house cast” and more of a actual approach to writing something new with the old setting and characters).

This is mostly due to the fact that, while wondering around the city attracting suspicious stares from newts that have never seen someone like her before, she ends up bumping into a newt who appears to be running from the majority of the city guards. They both fall down and Luz helps her stand up, a showing that is enough to convince the guards that, whatever the weird creature is, it’s in league with the felon, so they begin chasing her too. The criminal newt, who is of course Eda, takes pity on her and brings her along to her hideout, where she meets a weird little robot that insists she refer to him as King. He begins to declare that his full title is “King of...” and then kinda falters off as he seems to realize he actually isn’t quite sure what he is. Luz gives Eda a concerned Look but she just kinda shrugs it off and says he always does that.

Luz finds out that Eda deals in the trade of questionable artifacts and considers herself pretty lucky to find someone like that as soon as she did, and she asks if Eda knows anything about a music box, describing it as best as she can, because she didn’t really think to take any pictures. For her part, Eda is pretty sure what it is, and that’s the moment where she resolves to watch over Luz, at first just because she’s Concerned the box is back in Amphibia, though it eventually ends up that she gets a soft spot for the kid.

Though Luz doesn’t find out a good deal of this until later, and it’s gradually, Eda is still Lilith’s sister here, meaning that yes, she had equal claim to the newtopian crown, but the history of the crown never sat well with her (i.e. she finds out newtopia was built on the foundation of bloody conquest, along with the fact that it’s encouraged they want to get back to that point and nopes out of there). While she’s on her way out she starts off her new life of stealing shiny things by grabbing a weird little statue that had always seemed kinda off to her. She figures she could sell it at least, but while looking over it after escaping she realizes that it isn’t a statue at all, but what she decides must have been a defective robot from newtopia’s past, being much smaller and more... expressive? Than it should have been. For some reason she decided to try fixing it, and though it took a good deal of time she eventually got it to work again, which is how she came to be friends with King.

Luz’ story is largely slice of life relationship building with her, Luz, and King, until the point where the path to the valley opens, and the three of them go on what Luz finds out is an annual trip Eda takes around the valley to see if she can find anything interesting to add to her stand, as well as find new customers in the valley. Luz figures if she has a shot at finding either of the two girls she came with, and hopefully the box too, it would be on that trip.

Willow gets thrown into Toad Tower before she even realizes what’s happening to her. She has no idea where she is, didn’t even get a good look at Luz before the teleportation happened back on earth, and is overall not having a great time. She’s not convinced she’s not dreaming until she’s literally tossed into her cell and the impact hurts enough that she’s sure she’s really there. At first she believes she’s alone in her cell until she hears an awe-filled voice ask what she is and why she’s there. She isn’t able to figure out where the voice is coming from until a tiny blue frog jumps up on her hand. She introduces herself as a human, which gets him very excited, and he introduces himself as Gus, explaining that he was thrown in prison for “almost kind of knowing things he shouldn’t” as he put it.

It turns out Gus is something of a scholar, though he admits that most frogs are more inclined to call him a crazed conspiracy theorist. All of his studies have to do with mysterious other worlds and their inhabitants, which he has always been stubbornly insistent do exist. He’s overjoyed that he finally has “a real life specimen!!” and Willow is excited enough at the idea that there might be someone who actually knows what happened to her that she lets that comment slide. She quickly finds out what the meaning behind his weird prison sentence is, as she brings up getting sent to this world from another, and he attempts for a wise nod as he goes “ah yes, you must have experience an encounter with the calamity bucket.” Still he’s kind of helpful and he and Willow get along pretty well, so they end up hanging out together for the rest of the story, he basically tags along everywhere with her Jiminy Cricket style.

Amity has arguably the hardest time adjusting to the world she suddenly finds herself in, as she ends up in the forest on the outskirts of Wartwood, and promptly determines that this is the worst thing that’s ever happened to her. Despite having the box that “weird girl” used to send them here, opening it and closing it over again provided no help at all, and trying to go into Wartwood provided even less. Still being in Full Blight mindset she is really haughty and superior and the townspeople do not take it well. Even deducing Toadstool as the only persons superficial enough to potentially care about her status, she can’t get anything out of him cause he views her as a massive publicity risk, which he’s already not doing super well at.

The only frogs in the village that seem to not turn away from her immediately are a mischievous pair of frog twins that joke around and mess with her, and though it’s all lighthearted she’s stubborn enough at first that when they do offer to help her out she flat out refuses them. Eventually between living in a cave and their hanging around her whenever she’s in town anyway she’s worn down enough that she begrudgingly accepts their offer of help.

Not being Blights in this au has done a good deal in the way of making Edric and Emira happier. While they’re just as much of tricksters as they always are, and they occasionally overstep a little in their jests, they’re quick to apologize, and lack any of the actual malice behind their knack for causing trouble. The two of them run one of the stands in the marketplace, something they get Amity to help out with eventually as the town warms up to her. The two of them find it easier to grow closer to Amity than the rest of the town does, maybe it’s cause they’re the only ones who have really tried, or maybe it’s cause they’ve got a reputation for being trouble in the town already anyway. Whatever it is Amity gets begrudgingly closer to them until she eventually refers to them as her siblings once, and though they refuse to let her hear the end of it for a few days, they’d been calling her their little sister since the beginning, and while Amity had been certain for a long time they were just doing it to mess with her she starts to like it eventually.

Like in Amphibia, the three girls all represent one aspect of the Heart, Strength, Mind trio. Figuring out what those all are takes a lot more for these girls than it does for the amphibia trio though. The focus of this story is less on the relationships the characters have, though that is definitely a part of it, and more on the attributes their assigned to and the personal growth they have. Each of them holds the attribute that is both their strongest and most repressed. The three all hold themselves at very little value in the areas they’re actually the strongest in, and through their journey in Amphibia they start to learn.

Willow had always believed that strength was an inherently negative thing. Strength equated to power, and people who had power used it to hurt others, without fail. People like, well, Amity. She prefers gentleness and peace, and to her that and strength is mutually exclusive. She reacts to the concept that she could be charging the box with the attribute of strength very negatively.

Through her time in Amphibia she gets to learn that her strength can come in different forms, and while she is undeniably strong physically, her physical strength is nothing compared to her emotional resolve and capacity to extend that emotional resolve in the strength of heart to pick up the people around her when they need it. She does, though, get to learn that power isn’t something that is inherently evil, and even that if she uses the strength she has to protect the things that are important to her, that doesn’t mean she’s forsaken any of the things believes.

aka she gets to punch a heron in the face. Boscha (captain of toad tower) is very impressed, though she pretends she isn’t. Speaking of Boscha, she gets to experience a similar development to Willow, but more on the reverse side of the coin. Having always been powerful, and that having always been enough to make her more important than everyone else, Willow strikes her as weak at first, given her lack of aggression. The longer she stays stuck with Willow though, the more she comes to realize some important things, foremost among them being that Willow could totally kick her ass, and just chooses not to, which isn’t something Boscha understands at all, and Willow ends up teaching her how to be more of a person than a weapon, even just leading by example.

Much to Willow’s complete disbelief, (she swears to Luz the box is broken and they’re doomed), Amity is the heart. Amity doesn’t really believe it either. Strength would’ve been Okay, but personally she would’ve picked the attribute of intelligence for her. It was like the box went through all the effort of looking into their souls and didn’t even bother to check her report card. Ludicrous. It doesn’t help her that her time in wartwood is miserable for a good deal of the start. For the first time in her life Amity isn’t perfect, and it’s all because there’s nothing to be perfect at in this stupid little town. She should have all the frogs praising her superiority, but literally None Of Them are impressed by her in the slightest. They didn’t even have a school!

The only thing Amity took to quickly in Wartwood was the town motto, resolving that she would be even slower to respect the citizens of Wartwood than they would her. This started off a bit of a rivalry between her and the town, but the longer she had the horrible influence of her parents replaced by the well meaning nagging from her frog siblings, and the more time she spent not being perfect because for once in her life she literally couldn’t be, she started to think it wasn’t so bad after all, and the little rivalry between her and the town became much less of a real one, and a lot more of the friendly banter type, though she couldn’t recall ever making a concious choice to do so it just sorta... happened.

Eventually she starts to think about the school she was initially so annoyed didn’t exist, and begins to wonder if really no one is gonna do anything about it being in ruins. Eventually, she starts going over to the ruined building and reading to whatever kids in wartwood were in the mood to listen. before she knew it she had built up the closest thing to a school Wartwood had in a while, and where she once would have felt a smug pride, she only felt a casual happiness that was new to her, but not entirely unpleasant.

Luz never would have considered herself good at any of the three options. She knows she’s not strong so that’s out. All the kids at school think she’s weird and she has no friends so she really doesn’t think the whole “heart” thing works in any capacity. But the only thing left besides that would be intelligence, and she’s had enough students and teachers alike call her out for being an idiot that she’s absolutely confident that isn’t it. It doesn’t help that since she’s with Eda, who actually knows what the box is, she ends up worrying over what she’s supposed to be from the very start. She spends a lot of the time before the valley opens up thinking the box made a mistake, and since she didn’t have any of the attributes it wanted it wouldn’t work again at all.

In the end she only finds out what she’s supposed to be through process of elimination. Knowing Willow is strength and Amity is heart she finally comes to the realization that she’s supposed to be intelligence, and her confidence crumbles. Of all the options that’s the one she’d been hoping it wouldn’t be the most. How could so many people be wrong after all? It was pretty unanimous back home that she didn’t really have much going on upstairs, and after hearing it enough time she had gotten around to believing it. Her path in the story  largely focuses on coming to terms with her own worth, despite her insecurities and the weight of everything she’s ever heard to the contrary constantly on her mind.

[kitkatd7]

Broken Hearts and Whiskey

Summary: Bucky’s not the same anymore. He doesn’t spend time with you at all, or keep his promises. And your done with it.

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Warnings: Cursing, lots of angst, drinking, my grammar errors because I didn’t fully edit

Dialogue Prompt #19. “Please! You have to let me make this right.” 

Dialogue Prompt #7: "I can't keep being your second choice, not when you're my first." 

(Prompts will be in bold)

Word Count: 1,654

A/N: This is for @imma-new-soul‘s 550 Follower Writing Challenge and @buckys-other-punk 500 Writing Challenge!! I hope y’all like it! Sorry it’s pretty sad and the ending isn’t as good as it could be :( Also this was inspired by the songs ‘Die From a Broken Heart by Maddie & Tae and Different For Girls by Dierks Bentley' Also there are a few Criminal Minds references in here😂

Masterlinst of Masterlists || Marvel Masterist || Series Masterist || part 2 

------------------

“See you later!” You call over your shoulder at Natasha and Wanda as you unlock the door to your apartment, coming home from a very successful shopping spree. Walking into your home you toe-off your shoes at the door, setting down your keys and purse. “Babe, I’m home!” You sing, excited to finally get some time with Bucky after him being gone on a mission for three weeks. “Babe?” You ask, walking into the kitchen, setting down your multiple shopping bags and taking in the empty space. Where the hell is he? After searching the bedroom, living room, even the bathroom and still coming up empty, you look to see if you missed any calls. Nope. He was supposed to be here you fume inwardly as you press the speed dial photo; both of you together at a carnival, you smiling brightly as he places a kiss on your cheek sweetly.

It goes straight to voicemail. 5 times. Now you're not even mad… just disappointed in him. He promised. On try number 6 you’re just done. “Hey, it’s me. Listen, so I don’t know where you are but- just don’t bother coming home tonight, okay? I had plans but- never mind, it doesn’t matter that much. I’ll see you later.”  Pressing the red button you throw your phone on the couch before changing into something more comfortable. It wouldn’t be so frustrating that he wasn’t here if it was a one time thing- But this is the fifth time he hasn’t come home to spend time with you after a mission.

Plopping on the couch, you press start on something mindless that you aren’t going to watch anyway before checking your phone for- well. really anything.

1 new message

Unlocking your phone quickly, you open it in high hopes, only to see Sam’s name appear and your face falls. 

Sam: Bucky said you tried to call. Is it important?

You: No… just we had plans.

You confide, knowing Sam will understand.

Sam: Oh shit. Okay, want me to tell him to come home?

You: No. It’s fine.

Sighing, you toss your phone on the other end of the couch, throwing your head back in newfound anger. Asshole. He saw your calls and didn’t even pick up the damn phone. After a year of dating, you at least deserved that. 

------------

“Hey this is y/n, I can’t come to the phone right now cuz I’m out livin’ my life! Leave it at the beep.” He hears your all too familiar voicemail through the speaker. He had helped you come up with it, you hadn’t known what to put on it. He kicks himself, knowing you weren’t actually out living your life, just dodging his calls. Not that he blamed you- He deserved it and he knew it. Calling again, he’s not surprised when he hears your voicemail again.

“Hey… Um, listen, I know I was supposed to be at your place after the mission… I just wanted to unwind with the guys and- Shit. I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t think you would mind that much, I’ll be over in a bit to make it up to you, okay?” He leaves the message and ends the call before starting his car and driving towards your apartment, guilt heavy in his stomach.

You listen to his voicemail over and over, a strange mix of rage and sorrow weighing on your heart.

Tears roll slowly down your cheeks silently as you lay curled up in a defensive ball on your bed, trying to block out the unmistakable sound of Bucky begging you to open the front door; “Babe, please open the door,” He says, fist resting gently against the frame. “I’m sorry- really, really sorry. Please let me in and we can talk about it,” He sighs, resting his head against the door in defeat. He could break the lock and go in. You both know that. But he wouldn’t do that to you- All that would do is make you fear him and that’s the last thing he wants. He slides his back down the wall til he’s sitting on the floor next to your door, his elbows on his knees and his hands in his hair; Tears gathering in his lashes. He really messed up this time.

----------

The next day you drag yourself out of bed, trying to forget last night and all the tears you shed. After a shower and breakfast, you head out the door for a coffee run before work. You stop in your tracks when you see Bucky still sitting there, eyes red from lack of sleep and regret written all over his face. He jumps up when you walk out, keys in hand, the door closing behind you. “What are you doing here?” 

“I- I came to apologize,” he murmurs, looking in your eyes.

“I don’t want to hear it,” you bite, moving to step around him but stopping when he steps to block your path.

“Bucky, I’m going to be late for work,” you say coldly, glaring at him. “Move out of the way.”

“Please doll, just let me expla-”

Huffing, you roll your eyes. “I understand perfectly, James.” You watch as he flinches a little at the use of his first name. You only use it when your really mad or really happy, and it isn’t the latter right now. “You were too busy with your beer buddies to come see your girlfriend after being gone for three weeks, but what’s new? It’s been like this for months. I guess it was naive of me to expect something else this time.” You shoulder past him as he stares at you; dumbfounded. Tears gather in your eyes as you make your way to your car in the rain. Your almost there when you feel a large hand on your arm and hear your name being whispered. You turn around and look up into his stormy eyes. You always loved his eyes- They’re always so bright and big and- Now is not the time to be thinking about his stupidly gorgeous eyes.

“Please! You have to let me make this right,” he whispers, tears forming in his eyes as well, mixing with the raindrops rolling down his face and dampening is hair. 

“Bucky…” You sigh, pulling your arm out of his grasp gently. “I don’t think you can fix this. I can't keep being your second choice, not when you're my first." You climb into your car as he stares at you as you pull out of the parking lot. He sinks to the ground on his knees, not caring that his clothes are practically soaked, or that someone might think he looks crazy. None of that matters- because your gone. His girl. Gone. He can’t breathe. The pressure weighs heavy in lungs as all the air is pushed from them and his heart shatters. It’s all he can do to draw a ragged breathe between sobs.

---------------------

You manage to hold yourself together until you pull into the starbucks parking lot. And then you totally loose it; Tears and mascara mix together and run down your cheeks as you sob into your steering wheel. It feels like your heart is being torn out of your chest. Bucky was the best thing that ever happened to you… and deep down you had feared something like this would happen, but you didn’t think it actually would. You loved him- And now he was gone. 

You trek into Walmart, heading straight for the junk food isle, not caring that you look like an absolute mess. Grabbing some much needed chocolate, chips, cookies and other coping foods, you check out, starting to cry again when the cashier gives you a pitiful look on your way out. 

Stumbling into your apartment, you throw your bags on the kitchen counter before grabbing your desired snacks and tossing them on your bed. You pull on sweatpants and one of Bucky’s hoodies, sending an ache of longing through your chest. Even changing clothes feels like more effort than you could possibly muster but you somehow manage before crawling into bed and turning on reruns of Friends before you start crying again. After 2 bags of chocolate, a bag of Doritos, a burger and french fries you grabbed on the way home, you still feel like absolute shit. Maybe this is just how it will be- Unable to get over him, unable to move on. Eventually you fall asleep from exhaustion, tear stains and left-over makeup on your face and Bucky’s pillow clutched against your chest. 

------------

Bucky ambles into the bar, sliding onto a stool with sullen eyes, ordering a shot of vodka before mumbling “Keep em coming.” 

Throwing his head back, he grimaces as the bitter liquid burns its way down his throat. He knows he can’t get drunk but he’s willing to try. Anything to stop feeling like this.

The old barkeep leans on the bar behind him, looking at Bucky with an evaluating stare. 

“What was her name?” He questions gently after a moment of silence.

“Wha- How did you know?” Bucky looks up in surprise and pain, his forearms resting on the bar, holding another shot.

“Son, you can’t hide the look of love gone wrong.”

Tossing back another, Bucky looks in the shot glass like it holds all the answers before whispering your name, his voice breaking. “Did you ever love someone?” He asks brokenly.

The older man chuckles lightly at this. “I did, still do.” He holds up his left hand as proof.  “Do you wanna know the secret to love?” He asks, stepping closer.

“Why not, it’s not like I could lose anything else,” Bucky says dryly, taking yet another shot.

“Sometimes love doesn’t last and you have to let it go… but sometimes you have to fight for it. And it’s up to you to decide which you’re gonna do. So which is it?”

-----------------------

I hope you liked it! please let me know what you think!! 

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[lost-in-yujikiri]

Alicization Rewatch ep 17-21 - Eugeo part 1: Heroism Disillusionment, Inferiority Complex & Skewed Ideal of Love

Eugeo’s character development is usually praised among the light novel readers as the the best, most intricate and most humane story. The anime rushed it, terribly so, but in my posts I still want to try my best to bring what his original story in the books tried to convey along with what the anime visuals have shown.

1) Even hundred-year-old legendary heroes can fall like every normal human

Ever since Eugeo was 11-year-old in episode 1, he had always adored heroes, including Bercouli and the Integrity Knights. He even defended the Integrity Knights against Alice’s accusation of killing the White Dragon, the protector of Human Empire.

Back to present, he learned that the Integrity Knights’ heroism is all false, and vented about it all to Bercouli.

After fighting to a draw against Bercouli Synthesis One, his childhood hero, he also learned that Bercouli was the one who killed the White Dragon, his once best friend, and the last of his faith in never-falling heroism crumbled. Even his childhood hero had fallen under Quinella, got brainwashed, and made to kill his best friend Dragon.

Then Chudelkin appeared, put Bercouli in Deep Freeze state, kidnapped a Eugeo who was at his most tired and depressed state in order to turn him into same fate as his heroes. In his despair, he called his best friends’ name, who were nowhere to be found.

2) Eugeo, the Unloved Child and his Insecurities:

Before delving into Eugeo’s Synthesis Ritual, I want to remind you all how Administrator Quinella usually does it:

Step 1: Take out her victim’s memories of their most beloved person/people to create a hole in their memory;

Step 2: Insert a Piety Module into a hole in their forehead that originally held those memories. When Piety Module activates, it blocks the victim’s other memories, while brainwashes them by forcing absolute obedience to the Axiom Church and Administrator into their mind;

Step 3: Make the victim say the secret command “Remove Core Protection” so Administrator can gain full editing access to make them an Integrity Knight.

So conveniently for Quinella, Eugeo already had a hole in his memory (like she explained in ep 21 about his Synthesis), so she could skip Step 1 and go straight to Step 2!

The hole in his memory was his precious memory of Kid!Kirito, who was also one of Eugeo’s most important people in the world, but after Kirito left UW the first time RATH blocked all memories of Kirito away from all UW people including Eugeo. Even more conveniently for Quinella, Eugeo’s Synthesis can be quicken even further!

According to both the Light Novel & the game SAO Alicization Rising Steel (which is usually considered an extended version of the anime that fixed a lot of its flaws with additional contents), Quinella seems to be quite fond of giving her soon-to-be Knights disturbing dreams to break their spirit before the Piety Module acts up and brainwashes them.

Eugeo was also given a really disturbing dream where he killed his father & brothers to gain his mother’s love. I already talked about details anime has skipped about Eugeo’s family in my Alicization Rewatch Episode 14, you can find it in tag #Alicization-Rewatch at the end. In sum: his family treated him unfairly because he was assigned woodcutter Calling instead of farmer like them, most of his salary went to his father & older brothers, they didn’t give him enough life support and didn’t accept him going to Centoria to save Alice. Though Eugeo, as a gullible child, felt guilty for leaving his family and dreamt to become an Integrity Knight to support them with money. Sadly after he became criminal for cutting down Raios & Humbert, hid dream went down the drain. The dream is metaphor for his unchecked negative feelings for his family.

When did Quinella insert Piety Module into Eugeo’s head? The Light Novel mostly described Eugeo’s extremely hazy and unstable mental state during the whole section, but through some evidences I found in Light Novel and some anime visuals, the Piety Module was already in Eugeo’s head before he woke up in Administrator’s room. If the disturbing dream wasn’t an indication already, in the Light Novel, Eugeo’s monologues mentioned that there was a thick fog that constantly clouded his judgement the whole time and lead him to follow Administrator’s words.

The anime showed Eugeo shaking his head to try to clear away the fog in his mine, only that they cut out his monologues, bad direction choice is bad.

More LN mentiones of the fog in his mind:

Also Administrator continuously used words that fed into Eugeo’s fears and insecurities he has since he was a child, striked into his thirst for family’s love (which he lacked) and someone’s unconditionally love for him (Tiese, who was nearly defied by Raios) and his insecurity that actually he might have never been loved.

Then as a last resort Eugeo arrived at his ideal of love, Alice Zuberg.

This might be a lot easier for some of us keen LN readers to see, but Eugeo loves Alice as an ideal, a distant memory more than he actually loves her as a person. Whenever he was sad or brooding during his 2-year journey with Kirito or in Sword Academy, he would think of a smiling 11-year-old Alice or her kind acts to him for his comfort, but those thoughts was never about who Alice was as a person. Thus it’s extremely hard to understand who Alice really is going by Eugeo’s monologues alone, imo the only part I can get to know young Alice as a person is through Chudelkin’s recollections of her Synthesis ritual, surprisingly! In a sense, because Eugeo chewed on memories of young Alice for too many years, that love became obsessive and too idealistic to be real.

That’s exactly where Admistrator striked, by showing him a distorted piece of memory: his ideal of love, Alice was a real person who could have her own love, and might have loved his other best friend the most and not him.

This is also way easier to see in skipped LN materials not shown in anime, that Eugeo feels inferior to many people close to him: his parents favor his brothers more than him; nobles looked down on him for coming from a poor farming family with no family name; and Kirito his best friend is usually seen as the better swordman and while he causes many troubles, he can easily win back favors from other people as well. Not to mention Eugeo already has deep fear of Kirito leaving him if he’s got his memories back, ever since ep 7.

And now through Administrator’s editing skills, he was presented with a new deep fear of Kirito leaving him and go away with his idealistic love, Alice. In his mind, he has nothing left to cling to. And so Administrator offered him another chance of becoming Integrity Knight and gain her “love” (or actually physical control and blind faith).

Right then, when Eugeo’s spirit was at his weakest, the Piety Module acted up, blocked all of Eugeo’s memories and brainwashed him with blind faith to Quinella and the Church.

Note: both memories of Tiese & young Alice managed to say something to Eugeo, Kirito also tried to say something but he was muted right away. Clearly Kirito’s words were most influential to Eugeo, thus why Quinella had to shut him up ASAP.

Clearly here, it works exactly like Cardinal has told Kirito:

And now, all light is already absent in Eugeo’s eyes, it means Piety Module already brainwashed him and thus with a brainwashed mind he gave his dubious “consent” to her invitation.

Exactly at this moment, Kirito and Alice S30 already climbed through bath floor 95th, saw Bercouli who was defeated by Eugeo and got Deep Freeze by Chudelkin, and went to Chudelkin’s room. While Alice S30 was busy strangling the creepy ass Chudelkin, Kirito noticed the crystal ball Chudelkin was using to peep Administrator’s room, and he saw a naked Administrator who was taking the currently brainwashed Eugeo into her embrace.

Quinella finally completed Step 3 of Synthesis ritual, making the brainwashed victim to repeat the secret command.

Eugeo, in his most weakened, hazy, and brainwashed still has some little bit of feelings left, that it was painful of fighting for love all the time, and still got no acceptance in return, and he was now tired and fallen.

In mere 5 minutes later (according to the time count of ep 20), after Chudelkin got away from Alice’s wrath, Alice S30 and Kirito met Eugeo Synthesis 32, the newly brainwashed Knight through an unusually quick Synthesis Ritual.

Next up: Kirito’s Black Swordman angst, Eugeo’s recovery and restored faith in love and heroism, and how it intertwined with Kirito’s development.

[thesurielships]

the perp II

note: I am practically making up laws in this. I have no idea how police and justice work in the US, nor in my country tbh, so please hold your disbelief. This is inspired by Brooklyn 99. If you haven’t watched it, you should.

note 2: I’m trying to write as much as possible, and to stop obsessing over the small details and just let the story flow. Which means that this will probably have a lot of imperfections, but a part 3 will be coming soon :))

Word count: 1.6k

Part 1 | Masterlist

An insistent knock startled Feyre out of her creative trance. She looked up to her boss’s usual stoic face.

“Captain Azriel,” she nodded in acknowledgement, trying to calm her panic down. He had only knocked once on her desk and folded his arms behind his back. That was never a good sign.

“My office. Now.”

Feyre blinked at his retreating figure. He hadn’t returned her acknowledgement. That was a terrible sign. She quickly followed him to his office as there was nothing he hated more than tardiness.

“Yes, Captain?”

He was already in his seat, hands steepled on his desk. “Close the door, detective.”

She did, noticing the keen gaze Lucien kept directed their way. She smiled and closed the blinds, too.

“Take a seat.”

She did, and then looked at the captain expectantly.

“Did you threaten a fellow officer with a gun?”

Feyre’s blood froze. “Captain, I - ”

“I have just received an official complaint from Detective Rosetool stating that you twisted his arm behind his back, pressed him against a wall and put a gun to his head.”

“It wasn’t to his head,” Feyre couldn’t help arguing. “It was to his spine.”

The captain leaned back in his seat, his expression unchanging.

“I didn’t want to kill him, only paralyse him.” Even she knew she sounded bratty.

“So you would have willingly maimed a fellow officer?”

“I didn’t actually do it, now did I? Besides, if we’re at the stage of filing official complaints, I might as well present one myself. Detective Rosetool is a sexist asshole who thinks that our past relationship gives him the right to get involved in my cases, to ask about my comings and goings, to follow me home and threaten other male fellow officers who dare speak to me. He has abused me multiple times prior to our break up, and I have several scars and medical reports to prove it.”

Feyre was breathing hard. She had stood up at some point during her tirade, and was ready to submit her resignation and storm off this Cauldron damned precinct if she had to. Why she hadn’t reported Tamlin before, or left all of it behind, she didn’t know. Her throat was starting to close up, tears pricking her eyes. But she would not break down in front of her superior officer. She. Would. Not.

“Alright.”

Feyre blinked. “Alright?”

The captain’s gaze was steady, either oblivious to the storm of emotions coursing through her or wisely choosing not to comment on it. “I will submit your formal complaint.”

“What about Tamlin’s?”

“As it is not entirely truthful, I have the right to refuse to forward it.”

Feyre could not believe her ears. “Why are you doing this?”

“Yours is not the first complaint I have received about detective Rosetool. Many others have spoken up about his inappropriate behavior before, and his record is not as clean as he would like it to be.”

“Sir,” her voice was shaky with unshed tears. “You do realize that his dad is the former NYPD commissioner, right? This could get you in trouble.”

Captain Azriel’s smile was small and full of menace as he said, “Do not worry about it, detective Archeron. I have my ways.”

***

The day after her intriguing conversation with the hairdressers at Dora’s, and her sob fest following her talk with Captain Azriel, Feyre went around the shops in that neighborhood looking for eye witnesses. She did not use her sketch, however, as that would have been a little unprofessional. And embarrassing, she thought as she remembered the powerful body, the sexy smirk and the violet eyes she had drawn the previous night in the privacy of her own apartment. Then her thoughts drifted to the dream she’d had of being pressed against a tattooed chest and cocooned in huge membranous wings.

And touched in places she hadn’t been touched in a while.

“… gone home by then. Detective?”

She nodded absently. If she hadn’t been so focused on hiding her flushed face behind her hair as she pretended to write something down in her notebook, she would have noticed the nervousness radiating off the owner of the sea food restaurant. He kept wringing his hands, his forehead shone with sweat and his feet were shifting constantly.

“Detective, actually…”

Feyre’s head snapped up at the careful tone. “Yes?”

“There is one more bit of information that might help you, but I don’t know if I can…” he trailed off with a wince.

“No one will know you told me, Mr. Varian.”

He swallowed audibly, then seemed to steel himself. “It’s about Dora, the owner of the salon.”

She nodded.

He hesitated, glancing at the salon behind her. Feyre tried her best to look reassuring.

“Her boyfriend is in the mafia.”

She held her breath. “Do you know which one?”

He cleared his throat. Once. Twice. “Actually… he’s the head of Hybern.”

Feyre felt like she went fishing for eels and caught a shark instead. “Are you certain?”

“I see him leaving her salon at 11:15 every night.”

She wanted to whoop and jump around in joy. David Hybern was just the kind of big fish she needed to catch to get her a promotion, hopefully away from the flower tool. “Thank you, Mr. Varian. You’re doing this city a great favor.”

And me, she thought, giggling internally, before mentally scolding herself for her selfishness.

“Just get him off these streets,” the chef answered wearily. “He strikes terror in everyone’s hearts. My kids can’t even sleep these days.”

“Rest assured, Mr. Varian. We will try our best to put this criminal behind bars.”

***

“So I heard our perp is quite the hunk.”

Feyre snorted. “They said he had violet eyes and blue hair.”

“Maybe he’s not human. Maybe he’s a vampire,” her partner, Suriel, speculated. “Or a faerie. My chaman told me those are on quite the rampage lately.”

Feyre rolled her eyes.

“What? A thief who doesn’t steal anything, who is so hot he charmed the pants off his victims, and who disappears into the night. Doesn’t this sound fantastical to you?”

“One, maybe he was just there to gather intel, and he’s planning his heist for later. Two, there is such a thing as Stockholm’s syndrome. And three, at least half of our perps disappear into the night.”

“Why would someone plan a heist on a hairdressing salon?” Suriel’s tone was dismissive. “It’s not even that fancy.”

Feyre kept silent, her eyes fixed on said salon.

“You know something, don’t you? There is more to this case that you’re not telling me.”

“Well, maybe you should’ve been there, Suriel. Next time, don’t leave me to interrogate moonstruck women alone.”

“It was a bad day for Pisces! I couldn’t get out of the house.”

“There is no such thing as astrologically impaired days, Suriel.”

Suriel glowered. She hated when her partner dismissed her beliefs, and Feyre let her rant about astrology more often than not; but when it got in the way of their job, she drew the line.

“So, why are we on watch duty?”

Feyre’s eyes roamed the street, lingering on the dark corners and on the roofs surrounding Dora’s. “I told you he might be planning a heist.”

“Cut the crap.”

“Dora is dating David Hybern.”

Suriel gasped.

“He supposedly leaves the salon every night at 11:15pm.”

Detective Pisces, as she liked to call herself, was now bouncing in her seat. “So we’re here for Hybern, not the faerie hunk?”

“I don’t know. The robbery is weird. Maybe it’s linked to Hybern. Maybe our perp is in a rival gang and wanted to use Hybern’s girlfriend as leverage.”

“But he didn’t do anything to Dora. You said he even apologised.”

“Maybe he was looking for drugs? I mean Hybern is one of the biggest Fairy Wine suppliers in Velaris.” She ignored Suriel’s meaningful glance at the drug she mentioned.

“But why would he look for it in Dora’s purse?”

Feyre was spared from admitting her lack of ideas as she saw a silhouette pass near the window.

“Did you see that?” Suriel asked.

They were out the car and halfway to the salon before Feyre could answer. When they were five meters away from the front door, the lights were turned on. Feyre could just make out three silhouettes in Dora’s office. Suriel gestured for her to go in first, signaling that she’d come in through the back door, as was their usual modus operandi. Feyre nodded, grabbed her gun, and hurried in the salon. The main room was dark, but she could see enough to tell that nothing was amiss. The office was quiet. Feyre stuck to the wall, carefully nudging the door open with her foot.

“Who’s there?” asked a gruff male voice.

She held her breath.

“Do come in, officer. We were awaiting your arrival.” This time, the voice was deep and husky and caused a shiver to run down Feyre’s spine.

She braced herself, then burst into the room, gun cocked in her hands. She shifted it between the three people.

“NYPD, freeze!”

“If your strategy was to scare us into a heartattack, detective, it only worked on me,” Dora stated dryly from where she was held at gunpoint by none other than David Hybern himself. Feyre fixed her gun in his direction.

“Pointing your gun at the first person you see. Not a smart tactic, detective,” mused the husky voice from her right.

She slowly turned her head, almost dropping the gun she kept pointed at Hybern as her eyes beheld the most beautiful man she had ever seen. He was tall and tanned like he just got back from a vacation in Malibu. His muscled, shirtless chest bore an intricate tattoo. She hated to admit it, but his black hair did gleam blue. And the eyes that were studying her as meticulously as she had him were indeed violet.

There was only one small detail that ruined the wonderful portrait.

The faerie hunk had a gun pointed at her head.

 Tag list:  @joyceortiz13 @bailey-4244 @quakeriders @standbislytherin @mariamuses @ignite14 @1800-fight-me @velarian-trash @rhysands-highlady @queenblueoffire @rowaelinforeverworld @feeoly @buckybvrnes @dayanna-hatter @shadowstar2313 @goldfishh20 @sleeping-and-books @crackedship @your-high-lady @thesirenwashere

[survenante]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Shameless (US) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Ian Gallagher/Mickey Milkovich Characters: Mickey Milkovich, Ian Gallagher, Iggy Milkovich, Mandy Milkovich Additional Tags: Established Relationship, set in season 10 i think?? :), Breaking Up & Making Up, if you hate me now don't read this, marriage talk, Marriage Proposal, criminal abuse of the phrase i love you, big brother iggy because it's my favorite thing, those hey honey mine vibes, Insecurity, breaking up, i said that fjdfhdhg, Making Up, Fake Proposal, or multiple fake proposals, Emotional Hurt, Communication, But also, Lack of Communication, και θελω και δε θελω. και ξερο και χλωρο. και τα διλημματα σωρο, sorry for the greek commercial break, Brotherly Love, Brotherly Bonding, i'm a SUCKER for it!!!!!!, perhaps that's all, mickey just wants to be a husband!!!!! is that so bad????????????, I can't believe I forgot, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fix-It, Fix-It of Sorts, ?? - Freeform Summary:

He hates this – hates the distant ache in his chest even with Ian flush against him, hates the gaping hole he feels in his heart at the thought of taking the next step in this shitshow of a relationship. That hole becomes deeper and wider as he is reminded that this is probably the last thing on Ian’s mind, how he has quite literally fucking laughed at the prospect of marrying Mickey before, either brought up solely for the purpose of a joke by Mickey or others – and the thing is, Mickey had laughed, too, but he doesn’t feel like it anymore. Instead of viewing it like an unattainable impossibility, Mickey yearns for it, and not only for the validation that would come with Ian wanting to marry him – Mickey wants to tie the knot and settle down, perhaps has always done so, ever since he was a teenager and had a permanent vendetta with the shower.

Ian’s eyes are on him, and he can feel them, but he still doesn’t look down.

or, ian and mickey fake a marriage proposal every other week to get free food, and it's never been a big deal. until it is.

[unwiltingblossom]

Code: Realize Route Review - Van Helsing

Round two of the Code: Realize routes/character reviews. This uses information from the main game + extra scenes in the main game. I have the first sequel fandisc, but I haven’t played it yet, so that content isn’t included.

Abraham Van Helsing

I have determined Van Helsing is the correct/expected second route. Similar to Impey, his route doesn’t spoil anything, but it does hint at Germain’s route and sets up Victor’s. (Victor’s route will spoil Van’s)

Van Helsing got the immediate VA boost, which was good, because his introduction was the first jarring experience of making a choice that meant nothing. “Come Out/Stay Hidden” has no difference except a couple paragraphs of dialog and which people get affection points. That’s to be expected in a free mobile game, but for a game with a $50 price tag (even considering the bundled fandisc) it’s pretty unforgivable. The lack of animation and repeat backgrounds/misc CGs also show through in this route whether it’s your second as is likely to be expected or especially if it’s third like mine was.

Not to go on a tangent, but the fact that the boys don’t even get unique bedrooms despite each of them getting at least one scene in their bedroom is a travesty.

Anyway, back on topic. Van is a fun little tsundere route, but the trouble with his route is that you spend most of it waiting for a payoff that barely happens, due to the plot they decided to go with. Transferring tsundere into manpain makes for a rough route when it’s the same length as everyone else’s.

It’s interesting that this route departs from the others where it has multiple villains that Van has to go through before the final villain, instead of just sending endless waves of Twilight mooks and giving one big boss at the end. Unfortunately, if you’re a fool like myself and first played Victor and Impey before him, you’ll be disappointed that Cardia isn’t really ‘shaped’ by Helsing. Despite the focus on self defense and martial arts - which will come in handy in other routes - Cardia’s role is pretty similar here as in Impey’s, minus engineering stuff: stand back, let Van Helsing be awesome, worry about him.

I found his bad endings easier to avoid in general, except against Jack the Ripper. Mostly because the choices were again pretty weird. You can kind of guess ‘don’t resist’ is the correct choice from his lessons about when to surrender (if you forget that it’s literally Jack the Ripper, and you don’t let Jack get near you with knives) - but good luck if you’ve done Germain’s route before this, because like with Impey and Victor’s routes, the same dilemma has the opposite answer in Germain and Van’s route. The second bad end Jack can give you (because what’s more fun than one bad end instantly after you start a route? Two!) is just some serious BS, though, I’m calling it right now. “Do you stay and try to get the door open or abandon it and look for another route” is absolutely a ‘damned if you do or don’t’ dilemma, because either route can and will result in death in a horror movie...but when you stack on that the narrative says “This is a dead end with only one door that has faint light behind it” before giving you the option to decide whether you should keep struggling with the door while Jack closes in or abandon it and look elsewhere is just unfair. (Spoiler: it wasn’t a dead end, she could have kept running and does so)

On the bright side, the story does eventually let Cardia be more violent in Van’s route compared to others, as the climax of the story has her grab a man’s throat with her bare hands specifically intent on murdering the heck out of him if necessary. But man is there a lot of ‘just stay out of Van’s way’ up until then.

The route’s really slim on romance, but it has lots of angst and feels in its place, and it’s the route Delly gets to be more than just ‘that kid who pops his head up and sasses sometimes before he goes back to house-sitting or something’. Even in Lupin’s route, Delly barely gets to do anything onscreen. Since Delly is glued to Van’s side, he basically fulfills a role somewhere between little brother and son to Cardia through the route and it’s pretty cute. Even in the ‘normal’ ending, Delly is the one who’s there.

The only iffy moment isn’t much of one, because it’s a pretty weak trap. You’re supposed to stay and help Delly in one scene - failing to do so will just get Van injured - while in another, staying and helping him will get you a bad end. That said, it’s not so bad, because the former doesn’t give you a bad end and in the latter case you should know the flow of things well enough to know you should chase after Van. (Weirdly, in Code: Realize, it’s basically never that a bad end results in a boyfriend dying, even when it would makes sense)

Speaking of bad ends, Victor’s normal end isn’t a sucker punch choice designed to mess with you, as Impey’s feels like...but man is his lazy. His isn’t the only route that does it, sadly, but nothing feels quite so much like they wrote the True Route first and went ‘what if we just MESS WITH them for the Normal End’ as Van’s. It’s tedious because you have to track through a bunch of identical stuff for a microscopic amount of change pre-epilogue, whether you started with Normal or True End (but especially if you start with True End, the only reason you’d bother with Normal End is to see epilogue Delly. Maybe two lines of writing is even any different at the Normal End cut off point, compared to just playing through True End and seeing ‘the rest of the scene’)

Overall, Van Helsing’s route is extremely thorough in exploring both Van and Delly, because it’s extremely plot relevant to know basically everything there is to know about Van Helsing in it. It’s really great for getting the player to fall for Van. It’s very weak on romancing Van Helsing, though, because when you get into a tsundere route your expectation is that you’re gonna break through to the dere, but that really doesn’t happen. You wanna see Van Helsing’s dere? You can see it from Isaac’s lab all the way up until Azoth appears. Most of that time Cardia isn’t with Van...and in Germain and Lupin’s route it’s confirmed Van behaves pretty similarly when Cardia goes ‘missing’ in those, so unless the game is implying everyone falls for her no matter what (which sometimes I think it is), it’s not that helpful.

Van’s love of Cardia isn’t secret to the player - Azoth immediately calls him out about it, which is what makes him push Cardia away for her safety, when Cardia almost dies to save Van they have a sweet moment, the final choice in the route has his anguished declaration of ‘you’re important to me’ in the rain, and the climax of the route has Azoth using Van’s unspoken love for Cardia against him, resulting in Van attempting to kill himself to protect Cardia. Unfortunately...that’s all you get until True End, extra scenes, and sequel fandisc stuff.

My main criticisms of the route are these:

1 - Cardia’s training under Van Helsing doesn’t come into play, and she’s instead expected to stand back and let her boyfriend be awesome like with Impey’s route, but she doesn’t get to be an engineer on this one, so it’s all her running from danger or through it to get to Van. Arguably, the scene where Cardia has to sneak through a fortress full of Twilight soldiers to help spring Impey from his cage in Impey’s route would have fit better in this route (with Van captive) than his - and to support that, you have to use one of Van’s lessons to succeed in that! To know the answer for one of Van’s bad end choices, you need an answer Lupin provides, which is impossible to have on first run.

2 - Van’s route is very slim on actually romancing him. If Impey’s route has him CONSTANTLY confessing and having Cardia refuse to accept she’s in love with him because it’s embarrassing, Van’s is the opposite where he refuses to accept he’s in love with her but Cardia is incredibly determined.

3 - The Normal End, although so easy to avoid you pretty much have to get it on purpose, is nonsensical in its cause-effect relation to the choice you actually make to trigger it (unless it’s really triggered by overall affection points, like Lupin’s is) and is extremely lazy, just cutting off the True End at a point that would make the story end sadly instead of happily

4 - Just screw everything to do with Jack the Ripper’s section except the moment when Van Helsing finally manages to rescue her and looks cute. It was an awful section, Jack’s design is ugly, and it overall makes no sense. Sholmes doesn’t solve an easily solvable criminal case we later learn he’s tracking extremely closely, Azoth wants a crazy woman killer to capture and keep a woman without killing her, Jack goes from ‘I won’t kill you’ to ‘Nevermind killing time’ without any real reason to it, and the choices you’re given seem designed specifically to bait you into getting the bad end first. ALSO - we later learn that Azoth expected Van to kill Jack and this would have hurt his psyche for some reason, when killing a serial killer in the midst of actively murdering women doesn’t really seem like something that would at all harm a soldier’s psyche. And he set up a bomb in the room with his recording anyway.

5- NOT EVEN ONE ‘FAKE’ KISS. NO KISSING. NO TOUCHING. Because Cardia neither removes her poison, nor has it weakened temporarily in his route, no one gets to touch her. Because Van pretends he isn’t in love with her the whole time, he never even does the Lupin hat kiss thing. No kisses. No touches.

Overall the route is good, though. Its big twist is 100% ruined if you play Victor’s route first, because nothing Van can say will change the fact that Aleister causes two bad ends all on his own in that route, but it’s still a fun route to play through and the lack of Van Helsing fluff can be fixed in the fandiscs. By the epilogue and the extra scenes, Van is full dere in his slightly sarcastic and prickly way, it’s just a shame we couldn’t get more of that.

[forcedsense]

                          PUBLIC PIECE: THE BILLIONAIRE RETURNS

𝙻𝙰𝚈𝙴𝚁 001   :   THE OUTSIDE. (What most others know) 

NAME   :   Bruce Thomas Wayne EYE  COLOUR   :   Brown HAIR  STYLE   /   COLOUR   :  Dark brown, nearly black. Oftentimes can be caught messier than any billionaire should. Though, he puts himself together during his events. Slicked back, well kept. Even when we catch him entering Wayne Enterprises, he seems well put together. Yet, we still have the chance to catch him without the glitz and glamor, the mess on top of his head when he thinks nobody can see.  HEIGHT   : 6′1″ CLOTHING  STYLE   :   Rarely do we catch him outside of suits. If not a suit jacket and dress shirt, he’ll be found still in suit trousers. A man of his status, it’s understandable he’d prefer to remain professional in his appearances. Even when a snap is caught whilst he’s undressing at his window, the times we catch his hair falling past his eyes, we see him wearing his dress trousers and shoes.  BEST  PHYSICAL  FEATURE   :   Many women point out his magnificent jawline, and the man certainly gained a great deal of muscle mass during his time abroad. Many wonder what his routine is, but when interviewed he’ll merely claim it’s the diet his butler, Alfred Pennyworth, keeps him on. We bet working out is how he unwinds, when not in the company of women. 

𝙻𝙰𝚈𝙴𝚁 002   :   THE INSIDE. (What we’ve learned from our interview)

FEARS   : He’s stated his fears lie in that of Gotham going too far down into the criminal syndicate, or the Earth being lost due to climate change and a lack of good leadership. Thus, he’s claimed his company is taking on an even greener approach than they had previously, including new solar-based features to help disband the need for fossil fuels. We’ve once heard stories of something that happened when he was a child, and fell into a cave, but never have we gotten the whole story. Many believe the memory of that night, all those years ago, could still cause nightmares to rise. Though, most of our interviewers are too afraid to ask him about it.  GUILTY  PLEASURE   :   We’ve spotted him with six different women already since his return to Gotham City. At first, it was believed the Wayne legacy was looking to expand, however now we believe he simply has a taste for beautiful women.  PET  PEEVE   : We know he despises those who believe they are above others, including those in the local government who choose inflicting pain upon the poor over offering aid. Many of us question if his motives are true, or if he is merely trying to make the less fortunate look up to him as well as the rich do. From what we’ve seen, however, many other wealthy folks in Gotham don’t have Wayne’s best intentions in line where they place their money. AMBITIONS  FOR  THE  FUTURE   :   It’s clear he wants to help fix the world in any way he can, and we certainly hope his plans are as well placed as he claims his intentions are. 

𝙻𝙰𝚈𝙴𝚁 003   :   THOUGHTS. (An interview with the billionaire) 

FIRST  THOUGHTS  WAKING  UP   :  “ Placing as much of myself and my resources into improving Gotham as I can. “  WHAT  THEY  THINK  ABOUT  MOST :   " The world is caving in on itself day after day. If everyone were to pitch in, although it could help, it won’t do what just the worlds one percent richest individuals could do it they put their money where their mouth was. That’s what I try to focus on now that I am in charge of Wayne Enterprises.”  WHAT  THEY  THINK  ABOUT  BEFORE  BED   :   " What my next interview will be, ensuring I make it on time. Try to be civil if I can’t. “  WHAT  THEY  THINK  THEIR  BEST  QUALITY  IS   :   " I like to try to be modest. I realize how ironic it is given my position, but I do want what’s best for the world, not just Gotham’s elite. “ 

𝙻𝙰𝚈𝙴𝚁 004   :    WHAT’S BETTER ?

SINGLE  OR  GROUP  DATES   :   " Single. Hard to be as intimate in a group setting. “  TO  BE  LOVED  OR  RESPECTED   :   “ ... Respected, just because that respect was earned, and I don’t want to let anybody down. “ [ NOTE: We noticed he took a fair bit of time to answer this question. Leads us here at Gotham News to question: Has he known what love was since his parents? ]  BEAUTY  OR  BRAINS :  " I tend to enjoy a woman with a bit of both. But, intellectual conversations are more enjoyable. “  DOGS  OR  CATS   : " I haven’t exactly had the time for pets, though when I was younger my mother had a Great Dane. He was named Tito, and he tried to protect me a great deal as a child. Cats, I don’t mind, though they tend to be better at taking than sharing with others from my experience. “ 

𝙻𝙰𝚈𝙴𝚁 005   :   DO THEY  … 

LIE   :   " I prefer honesty wherever possible. “ [ NOTE: Based upon how he felt when we asked about love v. respect, we have to assume he may not be entirely honest. ]  BELIEVE  IN  THEMSELVES   :   " I believe in my work. That’s all anyone can really do these days. I believe in helping others, and ensuring the people of the world will have a better tomorrow in any way that I can. “ [NOTE: We noticed after the interview, he avoided answering the question. ]  BELIEVE  IN  LOVE :   " Love of home, love of country, of course I do. My parents love is what brought me into the world. If I ever had a chance to experience what they had, I could only be so lucky. “  WANT  SOMEONE :   " At the moment, I just want everyone to find happiness in themselves. “ 

𝙻𝙰𝚈𝙴𝚁 006   :    HAVE THEY EVER  …

BEEN  ON  STAGE   :  We’ve seen him on stage multiple times for his events, even in the few short weeks he’s been back.  DONE  DRUGS   : Not on record. He’s rich, so many of us here assume he has, but he denied it.  CHANGED  WHO  THEY  WERE  TO  FIT  IN   :   Based on his income, we believe Bruce Wayne has never had to change anything about himself for others. Personally, he wouldn’t respond to the question. 

𝙻𝙰𝚈𝙴𝚁 007   :   FAVOURITES.

FAVOURITE  COLOUR   :   He seems to have an affinity for midnight blue.  FAVOURITE  ANIMAL   :  Unknown, but based off his answers when we asked him how he felt about the mysterious vigilante who’s recently appeared, we can deduce that he seems to hate bats.  FAVOURITE  BOOK   :   Unknown, he claims it was one that belonged to his mother, that he’s long forgotten the name of.  FAVOURITE  GAME   :   Has claimed he doesn’t have much time for games. 

𝙻𝙰𝚈𝙴𝚁 008   :   AGE.

DAY  THEIR  NEXT  BIRTHDAY  WILL  BE   :   April 17th HOW  OLD  WILL  THEY  BE   :  [REDACTED]

𝙻𝙰𝚈𝙴𝚁 009   :    FINISH THE SENTENCE .

I LOVE   : " Gotham. “  I  FEEL   :   “ Passionate. “  I  HIDE   :   " Little. “  I  MISS   :   " ...”  I  WISH   :  " Evil could be put to an end.”

𝚃𝙰𝙶𝙶𝙴𝙳 : @banschivs && @jokethur :*

TAGGING: you! 

[backedagainstthewall]

Rules: Pick 5 shows, then answer the following questions. Don’t cheat. Tag some people. I was tagged by @detectiverickitubbs.

The Blacklist

Blindspot

Alias

Criminal Minds

24

Who is your favourite character in 2? Roman.  I do like Jane, and might say her on a different day, but Roman had a complexity I really liked.  

Who is your least favourite character in 1?  I was not a fan of Solomon.  I don’t like this new agent Alina Park much, but she hasn’t been on long enough for me to say she’s taken over as least favorite.  

What is your favourite episode of 4?  There are a lot of episodes, so I’m not sure.  And I have missed a handful of episodes here and there.  But one that jumps out at me was Masterpiece (season 4, episode 8).  

What is your favourite season of 5? Probably the second.  Kim’s storyline was admittedly poorly used filler this season.  The rest of the season though still had some of the feeling of the first season (not being over the top like a lot of seasons from 4 on), but fixed a few of the plot hole issues.  

Who is your favourite couple in 3? Sydney/Vaughn.  Should I worry about spoilers on a show that ended 14 years ago?  But really, you can tell very early on it’s going to happen.  

Who is your favourite couple in 2? Jane/Kurt (I will die before I use silly ship names).  It’s pretty much the only halfway decently written couple on the show.  

What is your favourite episode of 1? The Blacklist has had a lot of excellent episodes, and my opinion might change depending on my mood, but Ian Garvey (season 5, episode 8) is the one that stands out.  It’s a huge episode in terms of story, has good action, some good character interactions, and strong moments.  And I can’t hear Southern Cross or The Sound of Silence ever again without thinking of this episode.  

What is your favourite episode of 5?. I have to go with the first season finale.  It’s probably the definitive 24 episode, both in action, and in plot.  This episode defines both 24 as a show and Jack Bauer’s character development more than any other episode.  And it’s just excellent.  It also establishes that just about anyone can die..

What is your favourite season of 2?  I’m split on the first and second.  The first had an air of mystery and I liked the atmosphere better, but the second introduced some actual character development that the first season generally lacked and things really came together well.  Really, I think the second half of the first season and the first half of the second season was the show’s peak, as they both had a double agent storyline running.  In hindsight, some of the problems with the 3rd and 4th seasons had hints of popping up late in the 2nd season.  

How long have you watched 1? I started with the 3rd episode.  After the next one, I went back and watched the first two on NBC.com.  And I hate watching TV shows online, so that should tell you how much I liked it.  

How did you become interested in 3? I saw commercials for it before it came on, way back in 2001.  I think it got delayed because of the terrorist attacks that year.  I know I missed the pilot and picked up with the 2nd episode.  

Who is your favourite actor in 4? Joe Mantegna.

Which do you prefer, 1, 2, or 5?  The Blacklist.  I loved 24 as my first favorite “adult” TV show (it and Alias were the first two non-kids’ TV shows I watched because I wanted to, and not because my parents did), but The Blacklist has been higher quality for longer than 24 was.  Blindspot has had way too many issues the last couple of seasons to be considered for this.

Which show have you seen more episodes of - 1 or 3? The Blacklist.  There’ve been more episodes, and I’ve seen all the ones that aired for both shows (so far for The Blacklist).  I didn’t actually finish Alias until a few years after it aired (the 3rd season was rough to get through).  

If you could be anyone from 4, who would you be?! David Rossi.  Maybe a little younger version of him, but he could retire, as he has plenty of money, a great house, can cook, and generally wasn’t abused by the writers quite as much as most of the others in the BAU.  

Would a crossover between 3 and 4 work?  I don’t think so.  The tones for the shows were quite different.  

Pair two characters in 1 who would make an unlikely but strangely okay couple?  Dembe and Samar would be the most badass couple in TV history.  Would it have ever made sense on the show?  Not really, and they never even hinted at it.  But in different circumstances, maybe.

Overall, which show has the better storyline, 3 or 5?  24.  It wasn’t without its problems, and both shows had a problem with having twists for the sake of having twists as time went on, but Alias was one of those shows it became clear the writers ran out of ideas and just started throwing things out there and it was almost impossible to make any sense of things by the end.  24 was probably helped by each season taking place in such a short time frame that a lot of the story would fall outside the show’s timeframe. 

Which has better theme music, 2 or 4? Neither is really big on themes, but Criminal Minds’s is the one that jumps out first.  

I’m tagging @pantslessoptimism  @walkinggatorbait @sororanimarum@abbyissharp  @abscxnder  @emeryfleming @whenthisstoryends 

[astreetcarnamedwynn]

bnha rewatch: episodes 10-13, part 1

In which I continue to explore villainy in the BNHA world by analyzing Tomura Shigaraki, his strengths, his weaknesses, his character connections (to All for One, All Might, Midoriya, and Bakugou), and his character design, particularly the significance of all those creepy hands. Prior rewatch analyses can be found by clicking the ‘bnha rewatch’ tag, or by clicking the link to my AO3 account at the top of my Tumblr if it’s easier to read them there.

“Encounter with the Unknown,” “Game Over,” “All Might,” and “In Each of Our Hearts”

Though Shigaraki debuted in the prior episode (“Yeah, Just Do Your Best, Iida!”), using the media as a cover to break into UA for information about All Might, these episodes are his true introduction. So let’s take a look at the character who may (or may not) become the Big Bad of the series.

The first thing that these episodes do is establish that Shigaraki is smart. He doesn’t act without information. The attack on the USJ only occurs after he breaks into UA and knows exactly where All Might is supposed to be (along with who else is supposed to be there with him). Additionally, the attack on All Might only occurs after Shigaraki learns that All Might’s strength is waning, when he can more likely be beaten in other words, and Shigaraki comes with a weapon designed specifically to counter All Might’s abilities (Nomu’s shock absorption to handle the damage dealt by All Might and regeneration to fix what can’t be prevented by the absorption). Furthermore, Shigaraki comes to the USJ with a strategy. He brings a villain who can block all signals coming into and out of the USJ, preventing anyone from calling for help, and he’s the one who told his lackeys not to underestimate the students simply because they are young. Their age does not matter. Their quirks do. Accordingly, Kurogiri separates the kids, sending them to all corners of the USJ, to groups of already gathered villains, to (in theory) make them easier to kill.

If we couldn’t already determine how smart this all is, three characters already associated with intelligence on the show- Midoriya, Momo, and Todoroki- all comment on the smartness of the plan in some way. As Todoroki says, the villains are “fools for trespassing here, but they thought this out, and they must have a concrete objective in mind.” Tsu aligns herself with this group by being the first to realize that the villains must have a way to kill All Might if that is what they came to do, an assertion quickly supported by Midoriya.

Of course, these displays of intelligence by Shigaraki could solely be attributed to All for One, especially since we learn at the end of “In Each of Our Hearts” that the information about All Might’s waning strength came from him. Similarly, All for One and his (as of now) unknown compatriot made the Nomu that Shigaraki uses. However, Shigaraki’s intelligence is on display during the attack as well. He is able to figure out the Aizawa’s quirk efficiency is deteriorating just by observing him, and this allows him to be the only villain (aside from Nomu, who is acting on Shigaraki’s orders) to get close to and hurt Aizawa. Furthermore, from the very first punch that Midoriya throws, Shigaraki is able to figure out that his power is similar to All Might’s and he can theorize about the personal connection between the two: “Are you one of All Might’s disciples?” This observation is not unique to Shigaraki. Tsu makes a similar one about Midoriya and All Might just in these episodes, and (of course) next season Todoroki will make his iconic observation of the obvious connection between the two (“Are you All Might’s secret love child o something?”). But these are characters who have proven their intelligence time and time again, so although the observation is not unique, the fact that Shigaraki can make it says something about his capability.

Shigaraki’s thoughtfulness is reinforced further with his critiques of the government, heroes, and violence. Shigaraki calls out Midoriya for attempting to kill him with his first punch, saying, “What kind of hero does something like that? You think you can get away with being as violent as you want if you say it’s for the sake of others? […] That pisses me off. Why do people get to decide that some violent acts are heroic and others are villainous? Casting judgment on as to what’s good and what’s evil.” He continues, saying to All Might, “You think you’re the symbol of peace? You’re just another government sponsored instrument of violence. And violence always breeds more violence.” All Might wholly dismisses what Shigaraki says, countering with the theory that Shigaraki’s doing this just because he likes it. But the show itself doesn’t support such a blanket dismissal. Society is messed up in BNHA, and it is messed up partly due to All Might. It’s not necessarily his violence that has bred more violence, but more (at least as of right now) his performative, solo heroism that has shaped society’s twisted notions about quirks and heroics. In part, Shigaraki has recognized this rot within society and the causal connection it has to All Might.

This isn’t to say that Shigaraki is wholly correct in his assertions either. He’s ready and willing to kill children after all when he breaks into the USJ. Granted, they’re super-powered heroes in training, but they’re still kids, as All Might points out. Yet Shigaraki is willing to kill them and kill them solely for the purpose of breaking All Might: “Let’s make this hurt.” So his judgment is not without serious flaws. However, he is not simply the crazy, violent hedonist All Might tries to characterize him as being.

It’s intriguing that this is the assertion All Might makes about Shigaraki’s villainy. He reduces the more complex motivation he states to something straightforward and simplistic, casting the former as nothing but a sham: “You’re nothing but a lunatic. Criminals like you- you always try to make your actions sound noble. But admit it. You’re only doing this because you like it.” To this, Shigaraki narrows his eyes and thinks, “He’s got me figured out.” Every time I watch this episode (“All Might”) I’ve found this moment intriguing. Has All Might truly figured Shigaraki out? Was Shigaraki’s philosophizing nothing but a vain attempt at justifying his awful actions? The fact that Shigaraki’s eyes narrow rather than widen makes me think he hasn’t been caught off guard by All Might’s surprisingly accurate assessment, but rather he’s been pissed off by All Might’s presumptuous dismissal. I read “He’s got me figured out” as angry and sarcastic rather than genuine. All Might thinks that Shigaraki is just your average, crazy, mindless villain, but he isn’t.

So why has All Might made such an assertion? Is this a sign of his flawed judgment, that he’s too old and doesn’t understand how villainy is done nowadays? Or was this a performative moment, designed to try to soothe the surrounding kids (Midoriya, Bakugou, Todoroki, and Kirishima)? I think a bit of both. A villain who isn’t just some mindless machine of violence (like the Nomu) would be a lot scarier, yet multiple comments have been made in the show (some by All Might himself) about how old he is. Shigaraki’s new approach to villainy is seen in the simple fact that he doesn’t come to the USJ alone. He comes as part of a team (the League of Villains), he comes ready and willing to work with them, and he laments when Aizawa prevents this from occurring: “[He’s] making it difficult for us to work together or rely on each other’s powers.” This places Shigaraki in a more direct parallel with the next gen heroes, who (aside from Todoroki and Ojiro) all fight in teams. It’s the adults (All Might, Aizawa, and Thirteen) who fight alone.

For all of Shigaraki’s relative positives (not acting rashly but according to an informed, logical plan), he’s still young and thus he’s still learning. He overestimates his position of strength in the attack, foolishly telling All Might what Nomu’s primary quirk is, which allows All Might to best him in the end. Additionally, he becomes EXTREMELY agitated at the first sign of his careful plan going awry and needs Kurogiri to calm him down. He nearly abandons the plan altogether when he learns that Iida escaped Kurogiri and that additional heroes are likely coming. Midoriya comments on this intent, saying how weird it is for Shigaraki to want to retreat at this point. Why put forth so much time and effort into concocting and executing a plan only to abandon it at the first sign of trouble?

You do this when it isn’t your plan.

I love Shigaraki’s design. All those hands. They of course emphasize his quirk, how devastating and deadly his hands can be. However, they also highlight his lack of independence. Shigaraki is not in control of himself. The hands are moving him around like a puppeteer does his puppets. All for One is moving him around like a puppeteer does a puppet. He directly tells Shigaraki at the end of “In Each of Our Hearts” that Shigaraki is his face to the world: “I must remain in the shadows. That is why you must be my face.” Shigaraki’s face is covered by the hand because it is not Shigaraki who is acting here. It’s All for One. Of course you’re going to lack conviction if what you’re doing hasn’t been decided by you.

Such control has devastating consequences on Shigaraki. He’s being held down and restrained by all the hands covering his body. He’s literally being suffocated by the hand on his face. It’s also blocking his ability to see. Sight is a common metaphor for knowledge and understanding in a story: the proverbial light bulb going off over someone’s head when they understand something. Shigaraki’s knowledge and understanding have likely been limited. The proof for this is in how shaken he is when circumstances deviate from the plan. A plan consists of pre-set actions based on already known conditions. Again, the knowledge of those conditions, as well as the actions to do in response to them, were likely given to Shigaraki by All for One. When the plan goes awry, when Shigaraki has to decide for himself what to do, he’s shaken, so he tries to abandon ship. I love the moment when All Might shows he’s not as weak as All for One said he would be. He literally knocks the hand off of Shigaraki’s face and forces him to see the truth.

All this is in contrast to Midoriya. I love the subtle and less subtle ways that the show connects Shigaraki to Midoriya. There is, of course, the bright red shoes, an immediate visual tie between the two. There are other moments, too. Both Shigaraki and Midoriya comment on how the big brawl between Aizawa and all the villain lackeys is not playing to Aizawa’s strengths. Thus they both possess comparable knowledge and intelligence. And then there’s the beautiful sequence when the show shifts from Midoriya’s eyes to All Might to Shigaraki’s eyes. Both Midoriya and Shigaraki have the same awe-struck expression on their face as they look at All Might, though for Midoriya his look is one of reverence while for Shigaraki his is one of hate. Finally, Midoriya and Shigaraki bear similar injuries at the end. Shigaraki has been shot in both arms and both legs. Midoriya has broken both of his legs and one of his arms/hands during the fight.

These connections help to highlight their contrasting trajectories at the end of the season. While Midoriya has had two trial by fire “victories” (first in his battle against Bakugou in “Deku vs. Kacchan” and then here at the USJ), Shigaraki loses. All for One tries to spin the loss as a chance to learn, and it can be. But it isn’t a confidence booster, not in the way that Shigaraki desperately needs. This parallels Bakugou, who has also lost to Midoriya and has had his confidence shaken. The connections between Shigaraki and Bakugou are more subtle at this point. If Midoriya and Shigaraki share red shoes, Bakugou and Shigaraki share red eyes. They both share a fondness for short pants and combative feelings towards Midoriya. And of course, All Might ties all three of them together, though in different ways (Midoriya → saving, Bakugou → winning, Shigaraki→ failing). These connections are why I’m still uncertain as to whether Shigaraki will be the Big Bad by the end. I find it just as likely that Midoriya and/or Bakugou will do as All Might failed to do and “save” Shigaraki as Shigaraki will destroy the hands holding him back and step into the spotlight as a fully independent villain. Recent events in the manga have only deepened my uncertainty regarding Shigaraki’s fate. Whatever the destination, the journey is sure to be an interesting ride.

Next time: while Shigaraki studied his butt off and failed the USJ test, the heroes (most of them) pass with flying colors. An analysis of the lessons they learn, with special emphasis on the four at the main fight: Midoriya, Bakugou, Todoroki, and Kirishima.

[dungeoneering102]

Improving Cults

So recently I had a post about how cults should be designed (IMO). I mentioned the four cults present in the D&D module Princes of the Apocalypse and said how those were really bad examples. Due to some interest, I decided to make this post that elaborates on how I have altered those four cults to make them more realistic and interesting.

Why I Dislike the Original PoA Cults

In the original book, the Players are supposed to face off against 4 cults: the Black Earth, Howling Hatred, Crushing Wave, and Eternal Flame. Each of them have a leader (referred to as “prophet”) and work semi-together to summon super powerful creatures called “Princes.” The book also mentions that they all serve the “Elemental Eye.” Here are my problems with this set up:

We don’t ever get told what the Elemental Eye is. It seems to be just a pedestal or an unnamed entity. But it’s never explained.

The cults work together. This makes them all just fade into each other. There’s no drama because now the players are just fighting a large group that happens to have 4 leaders.

The cults all have the same goal but very little distinguishing elements in terms of their philosophy or approach to said goal.

So let’s try to fix this...

Elemental Eye

I hate that this aspect is never explained. It was just so very vague and yet its what commands the four cults. Supposedly, the Eye has given the cults their power and influence. In turn, it will somehow eventually inform the cult leaders on what ritual to conduct to summon their respective Princes. The Eye does this only WHEN the Party kills the first two Prophets. So I changed it all around.

The Eye is a physical thing. It is a stone of great power, supposedly locked within the altar in Fane of the Eye dungeon. In my story, the Eye calls forth the four Prophets, but informs them that it will only choose the STRONGEST among them. This is important and I’ll discuss why below. But now it is a physical thing and once ONE of the Prophets proves themselves powerful enough, the Eye is gifted to this person. All others die upon touching the Eye.

Lastly, to get to the eye, each Prophet has to prove that THEIR cult is the strongest and has the most influence. They do this by getting the most recruits and building beacons across the valley. The beacons are something that you can see in the module’s artbook section, although they’ve been cut from the final game. I re-inserted them as buildings that would be a sign of the cults’ growing in power. Your PCs can stumble onto these as they explore the valley. The cult that proves to be most influential, gets to summon their Prince.

The Cults DO NOT Work Together

Around the Renaissance Era, the Christian church had several divisions. New branches and sects appeared all over Europe, and started fighting over who is the TRUE CHRISTIAN church. They all believed in the same God and Jesus. What was different is how they worshiped these figures. The result was a complex political game fought between these powerful and rich churches over the souls of their followers and the influence over Europe. These conflicts ended with people fleeing Europe, the Catholic Church setting people on fire, and a very powerful shift in the politics of the time.

I think, that’s a pretty interesting story. So why are the cults of PoA just working together, with some minor issues between them? I say cut them the fuck apart. They are four individual cults. They believe in the same deity (the Eye) but go about worshiping it in different ways. They each have their own beliefs and philosophies that conflict with one another, and pit them against each other. Why do we do this? Because 4 DIFFERENT baddies is better than 1 four headed baddie. This conflict between the cults, allows the Players to play a large and complex game of politics, where they play off each of the cults against one another to get them to destroy each other. PCs might ally with one cult, only to get into a big mess and have ANOTHER cult offer them help in return for betraying their former allies. In the end, you get a Game of Thrones level game of politics and alliances.

Unique Cults

Now all of the four cults want the same thing: summon forth their elemental daddy. The problem with this, they might just meld into each other and become very similar. So we have to differentiate them in three ways:

How they present themselves (identity).

What do they believe in (philosophy).

How they act during combat (gameplay).

If you distinguish EACH of these, you get distinctly diverse cults. Below is going to be MY breakdown of how I distinguish each of the Elemental Cults.

Howling Hatred Storm.

Change that fuckin’ name. No one will wanna be a part of a group called “Howling Hatred.” Bad guy groups usually pick actually socially OKAY names, otherwise they won’t get any supporters. Let’s call them “Howling Storm” or “Howling Wind.” ANYTHING else but HATRED!

Identity/Philosophy. The wind is fickle and full of lies. The leader of the cult, one Aerisi Kalinoth, pretends to be a winged elf by creating fake wings using illusions. Their main outpost is filled with cultists who PRETEND to be knights. The whole thing reeks of deception and illusion. So I made that their selling point. Make your dreams a reality is the tag line for this cult. They convince people to join, so that when THEIR Prince is summoned he can blanket the world in an illusive state, where everyone’s best dream will come true. Of course, they will all live in a constant dream state, but it doesn’t matter. People who are depressed enough would be willing to fall into eternal sleep if it is guaranteed to make them and their friends forever happy. This is what Aerisi offers. She appeals to the desperate, the depressed, the lonely. She offers them to live out their dreams in an eternal sleep. Kind of like a suicide cult.

Gameplay. This is very simple. The cultists stay airborne as MUCH as possible. Forcing PCs to fight vertically, instead of horizontally, find cover, find ways to fly up as well, climb high structures, etc.

Black Earth

Personally, the Prophet of this cult is my favorite. So to be fair, I don’t much to change about this cult.

Identity/Philosophy. For this cult I ran with the theme of burial. Marlos Urnrayle, the prophet of Black Earth, sells the burying of your past. Made bad choices in life? Did thing you regret? Forget about it. Bury that past, and on the dirt build your life anew. Atop the ruins of old, rise your new home. This would totally get the attention of past criminals and bandits, whose lives have been ruined by their own crimes. Now they can start anew, in an organization that accepts EVERYONE.

Gameplay. Another easy one. You should describe your cultists as being extra tough and hard to break. Maybe give some of them some earth powers, ripped out of Avatar: the Last Airbender. I let my cultists just call forth pillars and stone walls, while others would swim through earth as if it were water.

Eternal Flame

Identity/Philosophy. Compared to the other cults, this one seemed more combative and militaristic. So I ran with that. Vanifer, the cult’s leader, runs a militia. Again, remember that the valley is without any leadership. She offers leadership. Her message is that she is building the army this valley desperately needs and she intends to bring peace and order to this valley, by force if need be. Her selling point is that she promotes discipline and order. People who lack any purpose, live messy lives, or need some kind of a leader-figure to tell them what to do, would fall into this easily. Think of veterans or troops, who after wartime cannot fall back into normal life as they need someone to order them around.

Gameplay. These guys are on FIYAAAA. Make their armor too hot to touch, make being around them uncomfortable. Allow them to be strategically more intelligent, using maneuvers to flank, surprise, and stun their opponents. This is a military organization, after all.

Crushing Wave

Identity/Philosophy. This cult consists of smugglers and pirates. What do pirates stand for? That’s right, an anti-establishment way of life. So the cult preaches FREEDOM. But absolute freedom. In fact, anarchy. Gar seeks a world that he can drown, where only those deemed strong enough can survive and are thus freed from the shackles of social restrictions. This idea of absolute freedom without authority, of being able to live off your own merit and not having to answer to anyone, is something many would like. People who have been duped by corrupt officials, people who dislike the restrictions of society, or dislike social norms. The Wave offers them all a chance to be free of this.

Gameplay. I got Lovecraft vibes from the cult. his cult is led by Gar Shatterkeel, who almost drowned but heard a voice in the oceans that led him to safety. Borderline Cthulhu-esque. SO, I made them all weird and creepy. They talk strange, they walk strange, they tend to stare. Ultimately, while they all fight for absolute freedom, the irony is that they are being manipulated by a primordial entity that is slowly brainwashing them.

Last Point - Diversity

In the book, all cultists (except the prophets) are human. That’s all fine and dandy but I don’t see why it needs to be so. I recommend you make the cults more diverse in their composition. Elves, dwarves, orcs, dragonborn, whatever you got. Not because YAY DIVERSITY or anything. Just because, I think it makes most sense that cults that fight for influence and power, wouldn’t discriminate based on race or gender. This, in fact, could be a selling point for them. Especially if you have racial tensions in your Fantasy setting.

I hope you all find this breakdown of how I modified the cults helpful. Please remember, that these are not “THE BEST WAY TO PLAY.” These are only the best way I found to play. You might find something that fits your campaigns and players better. Special shoutout to @ravenbane13​ (and everyone else who reblogged my last post) for encouraging this piece. I did go a bit longer than I wish, but hey, I hope you find some use in that wall of text.

The Unfair DM

[bevioletskies]

bring it on home to me [1/5]

summary: The fight of everyone’s lives may be over, but for Nebula, Peter, and the rest of the Guardians, the search for the person they love most has just begun.

a/n: MAJOR spoiler warning for Avengers: Endgame, though I am a little vague about the events of what happened. Regardless, please don't let me spoil it for you!

Fic title is, of course, from the song Bring It On Home To Me by Sam Cooke.

word count: 2.6k | ao3 | tag

Peter woke to a cold bed, his teeth chattering and his feet numb, and promptly rolled over to blindly pull his tablet off his bedside table - if one could call it that, given that it was an old crate he’d found in a junkyard on Knowhere - and attempt to remotely adjust the Benatar’s temperature controls. To his utter lack of surprise, it didn’t work. He wasn’t sure Rocket’s recent rewiring of the ship was to blame, but he was sure he was going to say so at the next team meeting, anyway.

He stumbled out of bed, got dressed, considered for a total of thirty seconds as to whether he wanted to shave the slow-growing beard he’d been developing with little success over the last few months or so, and then waved it off, making his way out of his tiny little bunk and into the ship’s communal area. There, sat at the console table, was Nebula, her feet propped up on its surface and her inky black eyes fixated on him like she knew he was coming (she probably did).

“You eat yet?” Peter asked, yawning loudly. She recoiled at the sound.

“No,” she said shortly. “Our rations are lacking. We need to make another stop before we unnecessarily starve ourselves to death.”

Peter grinned. “I like that you said ‘our’. Gives me the warm fuzzies.” Nebula glared, her eyes following him all the way around the room as he tapped into the ship’s operating system on the main holoscreen. She didn’t miss the way his face fell the slightest bit, the way he took a sharp inhale to prepare himself for his next line of questioning. “Find anything yesterday?”

“Nothing. The same as the day before that, and the day before that, and the weeks and months before that,” Nebula said. She turned away, suddenly finding it too hard to look at him, to know that every emotion written on his face was on par with every emotion that stirred in her chest. “We know that. You know that.”

He swallowed, his hand hovering over the screen. Subconsciously, or instinctively, really, he’d taken himself to the criminal records that the Nova Corps had written up on them what felt like decades ago. The picture that stared back at him looked familiar but not quite close enough, the detailed write-up that sounded like someone he knew but not the someone he knew now. Or maybe had known.

“Don’t mean we have to accept it,” he finally said, turning to look at her. “I’m done being passive. Passive is gettin’ us nowhere. We don’t have the right to call ourselves the Guardians if all we do is sit around like a bunch of a-holes.”

“Then it’s good that I’m not one,” Nebula retorted. Peter shoved the screen aside and stomped right up to her, face-to-face, slamming his palms down on the table. He almost detected a twitch in her otherwise stone-cold expression, a betrayal that revealed how affected she truly was.

“You’re a Guardian, Nebula, okay?” His voice was dangerously low, the kind of pitch and tone he usually reserved for when he wore his mask, but there was no finger on the trigger of his quad blasters, just the wetness of his eyes and the intensity of his gaze. “No matter what anyone says. Including yourself.”

She stared back, standing up slowly; he followed her inch by inch. “I’m far beyond letting anyone tell me who or what I am. So you take your self-hatred for what you’ve done and what you didn’t do, and keep it to yourself, Quill. When you stop by the nearest planet to pick up supplies, I suggest you drop me off. This is no longer a ride I want to be on.”

The closest planet they came across was like many others they’d been on before - nondescript in every shape and form, lacking distinguishing features or unique characteristics that would make it any more memorable than the last. For Rocket, all he wanted whenever they touched down somewhere new was a junkyard and a bar, preferably within spitting distance of one another so he could walk in sober and stumble out drunk.

Upon returning to their landing site an hour after they’d first arrived, he apparently came back just in time to see Nebula stomp her way down the Benatar’s ramp and out the loading bay, snarling at the nearest attendant who had gingerly approached, wondering if Peter needed any help with the engine. Peter was stood by the nose of the ship, running his fingers through his hair agitatedly, but made no move to follow her. “She’ll be back,” he was saying to a concerned-looking Drax and Mantis by the time Rocket joined them. “Look, Rocket came back and he talks about leavin’ all the time!”

Rocket fixed him with a long, haunted stare. “Don’t even joke about that, Quill.” Peter’s face crumpled. Rocket turned and made his way up the stepladder and directly into the ship’s engine, feeling incredibly uncomfortable. It was hard for anyone to look anyone else in the face these days, but Peter was especially difficult to take, Nebula even more so for how numb she seemed to be.

He poked around aimlessly for a few minutes, trying to find the cause of their latest ship-related issue. If it wasn’t the computer system, it was the pipes, or it was the engine, or it was the fact that the Benatar was a piece of crap when they got it and was still a piece of crap now. Rocket huffed impatiently, nudging the casing with his foot. “C’mon,” he grumbled. “What kinda engineer would I be if I can’t fix the damn engine?” Another swift kick, harder this time, but all it resulted in was a stubbed toe and a bruised ego. It was a testament to how distracted Peter was that he didn’t even bother chastising Rocket for it, instead disappearing back inside the ship with the others in tow.

Another low growl, and Rocket sat back on his haunches defeatedly, pushing his toolbox aside for the time being. He leaned forward, resting his head in his paws, pulling at the bits of fur that seemed to be falling out of his temples in worryingly large patches, the grooves where his claws had dug near-permanent welts into his cheeks. “I am Groot?”

Rocket lifted his head to see Groot approaching him apprehensively, still clutching his beloved handheld Defender in one hand, the other outstretched in Rocket’s direction. “What d’ya think? We shoulda gotten rid of this rustbucket a long time ago.”

“I am Groot,” he protested, climbing up to sit beside him, his legs swinging over the edge of the ship’s hood. “I am Groot.”

“Yeah, well, nothing’s ever gone right for us, why should it start now?” Rocket let out a hysterical laugh. “Out of the last five jobs we had, two were a complete and utter failure, and one shorted us on units. All ‘cos Quill’s too busy dragging us around the galaxy to find her. ‘Cept that wasn’t her. That wasn’t...that wasn’t our Gamora. That was a Gamora. And I dunno if she wants to be ours, or if she can be in the first place. But he’s done it, Groot. He’s gone and lost his mind, and now we’re the ones who gotta pay for it.” The engine sparked pathetically. “More like not get paid for it.”

“I am Groot.” They both fell silent, Groot politely ignoring the loud, shaky breath Rocket took that certainly wasn’t related to the engine issue. Then, Groot began to hum. It sounded a little thin and reedy in his voice - “tree puberty”, as Peter had so delicately once put it, looked and sounded a lot like human puberty - but it was instantly recognizable.

“Don’t - don’t do that, man,” Rocket said half-heartedly. “We haven’t heard that since you were no bigger than a boot.”

“I am Groot,” he shrugged. He still remembered every note, let it linger in his head sometimes when he needed it most; only he remembered it in her voice, heard the joy when she first remembered the lullaby her parents had sung to her as a baby, how she sang it to him when he was fussy or scared or just wanted to keep her by his bedside for a few more minutes. He’d grown out of it eventually, scoffing at everything and everyone around him like a typical stubborn adolescent, but now he longed for it again, even if just for one more time. “I am Groot?”

“Nah, I don’t think she would’ve known how to fix this.” Rocket twisted a series of wires around his finger, nearly slicing through them with his claw in his absentmindedness. He quickly withdrew his paw before it could happen. “Hell, I’d ask Nebula if she wasn’t in such a...Nebula mood.”

He glanced around the hangar where they’d parked, how very average it all seemed - sky-high ceiling heights, long stretches of metal and concrete as far as the eye could see, and people of all kinds milling about, fawning over a cool ship someone had brought in or arguing over how to best fix the reason they’d landed here in the first place. They had been in a place very similar to this the first time she asked him if she could help, mere weeks after the Guardians had officially formed, with everyone still cautious and nervous and new to existing alongside other people.

“I spent years helping Nebula with her implants,” she had said with her arms folded across her chest, watching him yank at the wires fruitlessly. “Let me take a look.”

“Ship mechanics and implants ain’t the same thing,” Rocket had retorted without sparing her a glance. “Look, I’m sure you were a big ol’ help to your wacko sister, but leave the engineering to me. You go...swing your sword at somethin’ or whatever.”

“You insult me by insinuating I’m only useful in a fight.” The cadence of her voice had been even, measured, but there was a hint of danger to it that gave Rocket the impression he wasn’t going to win this one. “I’ve also shadowed some of the best engineers in the galaxy and made countless minor repairs before. At least let me watch so I can learn. No one ever gets anything done just standing by.”

Rocket had sighed, moving aside so she had room to hover over him, her gaze intensely focused on the meticulousness of his work. “Is that what you told yourself when you first went after the Orb?”

“Yes.” The quickness, the sureness, even, of her reply had surprised him. “I spent years watching Thanos destroy homes, destroy families. Knowing his plans for the Stone, I couldn’t watch any longer.”

“But your sister could? She’s a real piece of work.”

“Watch yourself, Rocket.” She had reached out, gripped his tiny wrist with her long, battle-calloused fingers far too tightly. “My sister and I, we’re like you. Built for someone else’s purpose. Taken apart to fulfill another’s desires. Her lack of morality may disappoint me, but I can’t deny that not too long ago, I still felt the same way.”

He had yanked his arm out of her grasp, shaking it, mulling over her words. “So what changed? Why did you turn your back on the big purple man, and not her?”

“It could be anything that kept her from doing so - disposition, personality, personal traumas…” She had trailed off, tapping one fingernail gently on the glint of silver in her cheekbone, a particular piece that outlined the sharp planes of her bone structure a bit too well. “...repeated body mutilation and a craving for validation that will never come would break anyone’s spirits. You know that as well as we do.”

Rocket had cleared his throat, turned his attention back to the work at hand. “Alright, honesty hour’s over. You gonna pick up a wrench of your own or what?”

“I am Groot.” Groot’s voice brought Rocket back to the present, his chest aching with something he could identify, but wanted to deny. Melancholic longing had always been part of his life, but never his vocabulary, and he wasn’t about to start now. He didn’t want to sound like one of the morose love songs Peter had taken to playing on the ship through to the early hours in the morning. He didn’t want to wake up crying, chest heaving, gasping for air, the way Peter did sometimes, the way they all pretended he didn’t do, for the sake of what was left of his dignity. “I am Groot?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. Stop starin’ at me, you’re making me nervous,” Rocket spat, his tone harsher than intended. His ears drooped when Groot’s eyes widened in surprise, then narrowed. Groot hopped back down onto the stepladder and started walking back to head inside the ship, his footsteps heavier than they had been when he first came out. “Wait, Groot...look, we’re all on edge, I don’t mean to be a dick about it. C’mere, let me show you how this junkpile works.”

Groot sighed, his shoulders heaving, and he went back into the ship without another backward glance. Rocket stared after him, his chin dropping to his chest as he hung his head. He could vaguely hear Peter and Drax arguing inside, with Mantis trying her best to moderate without using her powers, something Peter had sorely been against as of late, something about not wanting to numb himself to how much everything hurt (Rocket hadn’t really been paying attention, mostly because it hit too close to home).

“I am Groot.” Rocket lifted his head to see Groot walking back up to join him. Instead of carrying his video game, he was carrying a familiar-looking book, one that was dusty from lack of use, its spine still in perfect condition. He held it up to Rocket in a sort of peace offering, smiling tentatively. Rocket’s breath shook as he accepted it, brushing away the residue so the title could be read: Engineering Basics, Volume XI: Spacecraft.

“I can’t tell this is a gift or an insult,” she had said dubiously when Rocket first gave it to her. It had been two months since their encounter with Ego, and everyone was finally starting to feel more settled, more at peace with who they were and who they were with.

“You said you wanted to learn,” Rocket had protested. “Look, I spent a whole fifteen units on this!” She had fixed him with a look. “Okay, so I found it at yesterday’s trading post, the attendant said it was a gift from his parents, never used, wanted to get it off his hands. Isn’t it the thought that counts or some crap?”

She had laughed, an unexpectedly soft, musical sound that made Rocket’s ears perk up. “If you say so, Rocket. And thank you. I’m not sure when I’ll have the time with everything that’s going on right now, but I’ll keep it in mind.”

“I am Groot,” he said gently, now placing a hand on Rocket’s.

Rocket inhaled. “Guess she never got around to it. Thing’s never even been opened!”

“I am Groot,” he said, looking pensive. Groot looked younger then, a little bit more like his toddler self, his eyes round and liquid and perpetually in a state of nervous, uncertain energy. The lullaby continued to play in his head; he felt the ghost of a slightly calloused hand cup his cheek as if to say hello, goodnight, goodbye.

Nodding slowly, Rocket opened the book, running his paws over the glossy pages that were otherwise untouched. “Yeah, yeah, I know. I miss her, too.”

a/n: I just watched the movie yesterday and I have to get on a plane tomorrow but I just really, really needed to get some feelings out! This is more of a character relationship study than a strict "The Search For Gamora" fic, mostly because I needed a place to explore all the little headcanons I have about her relationships with each Guardian. And I know Thor was there with them at the end, but as much as I adore him, I wanted to strictly keep the focus on the team, so let's just say he left for a hot minute to check in with Valkyrie in New Asgard or something.

This fic probably exists in a dozen other forms already but regardless, this was oddly therapeutic to write and I hope you enjoyed it all the same! Thanks so much for reading, likes and reblogs would be much appreciated, and see you next time :)