#crimial

[hivesfics]

ok wrote this half asleep and have never written for reid before because i’m not smart enough to so forgive me if this is ooc or dogshit

cw: nsfw under the cut, sub-ish spencer, calling him a good boy, face-sitting, reader is described as having a vagina but no pronouns or other descriptors used.

the only way you can get spencer to shut up after a long day, not that you don’t like hearing him talk, is to sit on his face and not let up until you’ve cum on his tongue at least twice.

even then, he’ll try to talk against your cunt. muttering praises to you as his tongue glides along your wet cunt. sucking and licking at your clit before pressing his tongue inside of you. his nose pressing just right against your clit.

“taste s’good.” you can vaguely hear him muffle against you.

it makes you laugh, raising your hips away from his face. he looks up at you, his eyes glazed over and pupils dilated.

“why—“ he whines and god is it a delicious sound.

“whole point of this is to get you to stop talking, honey.” you laugh again, feeling his hand try to pull your hips down again so your cunt is flush against his mouth again.

“please.” he begs, just a bit of pussy making his IQ rocket down to an all-time low.

you oblige, sitting back down. rocking your hips against his face this time, to which he moans like he’s the one being pleasured.

if you were on your back instead, you knew he’d be rutting into the mattress.

you cum a total of 4 times that night before lifting up off his face and collapsing beside him.

“now will you hush up?” you look over at him, watching as he rubs his jaw.

spencer nods, looking blissed out. he definitely did not cum in his pants just from the taste, smell, and sound of you.

“good boy.” you whisper before drifting to sleep.

[valentine-evenings]

remus: well, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger

regulus: nietzsche?

james: no, kelly clarkson

[captain-wereduck]

Brain: Let's rewatch Mighty Nein!

Me: Ok, I'm stressed, they funny and hit all my fav tropes let's gooo

Brain: So when are we starting writing a crossover with Stargate Sg-1?

Me:... Surprisingly am still stressed

[little-diable]

Aaron: reprimanding a colleague

THIS MAN!! He has me in a chokehold, forever and always

[procrastinationandnightmares]

I NEED TO KNOW WHAT THAT FOOLISH CHILD KAZ ACTUALLY SAYD WHEN INEJ ASKED HIM TO APOLOGIZE WHILE PROMPTLY BLEEDING ALL OVER HIS SHIRT? I NEED TO KNOW WHAT HE SAYD PLEASE. DID HE FUCKING APOLOGIZE??????????

[sweetkandiships]

Me when I open my big wet eyes and remember Lupin III 👁👁

[legoejmgoogoo]

In this OBMS series image, these two criminal minifigures are destroying and robbing a bank, out on the open! The security guard is just there being so helpless as this scene unravels! Hopefully the police shows up as fast as they can.

This is part of a series I have called "Off Brand Minifigures Scenes" where I take many off brand Lego Minifigures and putting then in certain scenes, based on their attire or appearance that go along with the series! You can view more in the gallery folder!

[evilminji]

Having seen it several times... I Wonder (<.< )

Amity Lore has a protective barrier/timeout zone for Bad And Naughty invaders called The Suburbs.

Short little street. Nice-ish houses, fully stocked with food and electricity. Quiet. Alone...

*sweats in introvert*

O-Okay but listen. Here me out! *twitch*

Fffffuck capitalism, man! That sounds SOOTHING! Let me in! LET ME IIIIIIIN!!!

How do I convince the arguably sentient City I would like to go to The Quiet Street?

Is this a monumentally bad idea? Probably! NEVER give the sentient-non-human and Probably Eldritch city control of your life! It loves you but is incapable of understanding your human intricacies! I GET that!

....but it would be so soothing. My autistic ass would have to be DRAGGED out.

TEXTBOOK "jokes on you! I'm in to this shit!" Material. Endless, soothing, repetition broken only by what I create? No messes I have to keep track off? Don't have to keep track of paperwork or scheduling things?

If I can negotiate being able to come a go? I fuckin LIVE there now.

I'll just politely ask Amity to let the internet through. Keep MY corner or the repetitious hell barrier away from the part that has Dirty, Dirty Crimial Crime People's in it.

I haunt the walls now ( 👁 👁)

Hmmm? (👁 👁 )

Oh! HIIIII DAAAANNYYYYYYYY (👁 👁 )/ I haunt the walls now! Yeah, Amity says it's "rent" I just gotta stand on my front walk and Stare(tm) at The Feds when they drive in.

Yeah. In a bathrobe. Really creepy like. I think my bathrobes too nice. I need a really ratty one. Any tips? Gotta pull that real "horror movie" vibe, ya know?

@hdgnj @stealingyourbones

[howlingday]

*Slaps leg*

Rwby Au: A Sly cooper thing but But Jaune is the Leader and Theif,Nora the Muscule and Driver, and Ruby as the Inventer and Hacker. They would have different Relationships than the Sly cooper gang. Like Nora x Jaune. I think Ruby should date the main detective after them. I think Penny would be neat. Weiss would work better probably. I don't know just a knee jerk idea from my Nora's Arc ask. They would only steal from Crimials and Corrupted leaders though.

I like this idea, but I'd like to tweak it a bit.

So, I actually saw another RWBY Sly Cooper AU with Ruby and I think Winter having a Sly/Carmelita relationship, so I'll stick with Ruby as the leader of the Ruby Rose Gang.

Ruby Rose is the leader, as previously stated, and the inheritor of the Robber's Rose, an ancient and secret relic intended for Silver-Eyed Huntresses like her, even though there's a current propaganda war going on to abolish freelance huntsman work. Unfortunately, on the night she was supposed to inherit this relic, her home was attacked, and her mother perished in the altercation. But it's not all bad, since it's where she met her best friends, Jaune and Nora.

Jaune isn't an orphan, but is the son of the Arc Family Foster Home, and spent a lot of team helping Ruby with hard brain stuff, like math and physics, though a lot of the experiments were done with him going hands-on. That doesn't make his efforts to build and improve weapons any less impressive.

Nora is an orphan and has been since her village was destroyed years ago. The village leader, Li Ren, offered to raise her with his son, but their home wasn't big enough anymore to support four people, even if two were children. So she left and met Jaune, a kinda gutless dweeb who was picked on a lot. That all changed when Nora stepped in and showed just what "girl power" was really all about! Since then, the two have been thick as thieves, which is fitting since Ruby had some plans for when she left the Arcs.

Now, with introductions out of the way, I'd like to talk a bit about story, if anyone is interested. Going along with the story of the first game, Ruby breaks into Atlas Headquarters to find a lead on what's known as "The Inner Circle". It is during this venture that she meets Specialist Penny Polendina, who says it's her duty to stop freelancers like the Ruby Rose Gang. Hunting down and besting The Inner Circle, Ruby makes it to Salem, whom she must defeat by teaming up with Penny. The second game story will also be the same with a new group of villains trying to bring Salem back from the dead, ending in a fight that cripples Jaune, Nora blaming herself, and Ruby giving herself up to Specialist Polendina.

Whatcha think?

[imashittalkingmushroom]

Okay, here's some notes for my Batjokes Hannibal au to go with the art

They'd still be working cases with the FBI-- Bruce is still an orphan. He still has a strong sense of justice. And more so, he is still very angry and very hurt about his parents murder. Him wanting to kill matches something closer to the comics, of wanting both that sense of control and revenge against crimials

And Jack, similarly, will be Bruce's psychiatrist.

His history, I think, is less murdery than Hannibals. One, because I think joker would care more for having his patients snap over 'one bad day' rather than ya know, killing and cannibalizing people

(So, like hannibal, he has a history with patients who are prone to violence) (He winds them up and watches them go)

And two, because I love the idea of Batman being Jokers becoming. Comics, is the acid vat, so in this AU, it's Jack meeting Bruce that pushes him to kill-- jack becoming obseesed and wanting to see Bruce understand him in a way no one else has, while also working behind the scenes to see if he can get Bruce to snap

It's about Bruce killing Jack, tho. Instead of them killing together like will and hannibal, the ending would be Bruce killing Jack. Because. In the comics. Yeah. you get it.

Like, can you Imagine? Jack: How would you do it? Bruce: ... with my hands. And Jack is sitting there with stars in his eyes because that is a confession of love right there

its basically an AU where Joker gets bruce to snap.

Also, joker interfering with the few times Bruce does decide to kill a criminal because he wants to be Bruces First. because your first time should always be special.

my other thing only has five notes but I am begging people to see the vision here

[paeliae-occasionally]

Character Crime Bingo.

Thanks @darkandstormydolls for the tag!

I did this bingo for Marsh (red) and Xaeren (Yellow)

Some interesting mentions: Marsh has never committed manslaughter. He has only ever killed when he has intended to. Xaeren has only ever killed one person accidentally. He considers murder to be wasteful.

There are no cars or internet, so no cyber crime or DUI.

These two tend to commit crime for fun or work rather than necessity, so tend away from thievery as it would not really benefit them.

Here is the blank template:

Tagging @kaylinalexanderbooks, @drchenquill, @poethill, @the-letterbox-archives, @the-golden-comet,

@somethingclevermahogony, @honeybewrites and @mk-writes-stuff. And an open tag to anyone reading this!

I would love to see your crimials!!

[kal-down]

Brief vent, because I have to get this thing off my chest. As an italian, I hate when any form of media romanticizes mafia. Especially italian mafia.

I see people drooling over male LIs that are criminals, I see a crimial family being idealised because they are so protective and loving, the concept of honor and pride. And then I think about all the families, shops, lifes destroyed by mafia. About the terror that makes people keep their lips shut about the evil that corrupts our country. About the numerous attacks against the magistrates, judges, prosecutors when the State dared to bring mafia to trial.

Do you know what mafia is famous for in italy? Melting a child in acid. After two years of captivity. To send a message to all the ex mafia members who, like his father, started collaborating with the police.

Absolutely nothing is romantic about mafia.

[marvelwitchergilmore]

I Can Feel You

Summary; Beau Arlen x Fe!OC (or reader if you wish) -> Agent Sandy Fletcher is brought to Montana to help on a case.

Warning: Swearing, Violence (crimial minds level - not a tie in), mentions of tortue, fluff (kinda) towards the end, angst.There is also an SPN reference if you can spot it.

They had plastered her as a rookie. Made it out that she didn’t know much but she knew just over the normal amount to pass every test in the field. 

By the gods were they wrong. 

Agent Sandy Fletcher arrived in Montana in the early hours of Thursday morning. She was picked up by Deputy Poppernak who kept her both entertained and up-to-date on the case at hand. 

She had been given her orders by her Chief. He wanted her away from town for a while. And, even though he wished that he didn’t have to, he needed to. Sandy needed out of Oregon. At least for a while. 

“Tell me, is your Sheriff as talkative as you?”

Popp blushed a little. “Sorry. I’m talking too much.”

Sandy smiled. “Oh, no. It’s nice. The people I’m usually with don’t speak more than two words a day.”

Popp went on to explain a few things about Sheriff Beau Arlen and his deputy Hoyt. “I’ve heard good things so far.” Sandy assured Popp. 

By the time she arrived at her home for the following however-many weeks, Sandy managed to grab a few hours of sleep before heading into the station at 8am. 

And they got straight onto the case. 

A double act. Childhood friends turned into a serial killer duo. They’d kidnap the helpless and weak, keep them alive for a few days but in the meanwhile make them wish they were dead until finally…they’d grant the victim one final wish. 

To let them die. 

It was better than going through the pain again and again and again. 

But it was two weeks after Sandy had joined the team and was with Beau, Denise, Cassie and Jenny that she was taken from them. 

The duo had been watching Denise’s house the entire evening, waiting for someone to come outside alone and be distracted long enough to be taken out. 

It just so happened to be Sandy. 

She had offered to take out the trash since Denise had cooked, Cassie and Jenny were handling the pots and Beau was clearing the dining room. 

But after 5 minutes, Beau popped his head outside from the backdoor to shout Sandy back inside. 

“She still not back yet?” Beau had smiled as he entered and Jenny took the stacked plates from his hands. 

“Wonder if she got lost?”

Beau chuckled and popped his head around the door. “Hey, Sandy! You get lost?”

But then nothing. 

Not a single thing. 

“Sandy?”

Beau looked back inside, the other three growing a little more concerned. “Sandy?”

Beau walked outside and around the corner cautiously. 

On the floor was the trash bag open, pouring its contents onto the grass whilst the lid was thrown across the lawn. 

“Hoyt!”

Jenny shot outside of the door and came to his side. “Where is she?”

Three sets of footprints. Sandy’s and two others. 

They’d got to her. 

Storming inside the station, Beau gave out his instructions to his officers, giving Hoyt things to follow up on and asking Cassie to keep Denise by her side at all times. 

“We don’t know how long they’d been watching us but I’m gonna guess the whole night.”

“Beau?”

“I need every officer reporting back to either myself or Hoyt. You go out in pairs. You do not-”

“Beau?”

“Separate from your partner-”

“Beau!” Poppernack shouted, finally catching his boss’ attention. “Look.”

Popp picked up the remote on his desk and cast the live tape from his inbox to the Tv screen. 

Sandy. 

She was out cold. A single lightbulb was somewhere, lighting her up just enough for them to all see the damage that had been done. 

She had blood dripping from her nose, cuts across her cheeks and collar bone. She had bruises around her eye but they’d hit her so it wouldn’t swell up. 

They wanted the station to know it was her. 

Everyone watched in silence, waiting for something to happen.

“It’s live, too. They’re streaming it but I can’t get a location.”

“Keep trying.” Beau was holding back every emotion he could so he simply sounded deflated. His eyes never once left the screen, even as he walked the few steps towards a desk to sit against it. 

Popp nodded and continued to try and find her. 

For a few moments, nothing happened and then a groan. 

Slowly, Sandy was coming around. Her head felt heavy and her neck was sore. How long had she been out?

Squinting her eyes due to the light, she finally managed to find some strength again and then she saw him. 

Sandy closed her eyes and groaned. “Oh, it’s you.”

“You’re still alive I see?”

“I’m guessing you were expecting a different ending.”

The guy behind the camera stood up. “Perhaps.”

“What is it with villain's being so vague in their answers?” Sandy questioned. “You never just get straight to the point. You have to make a whole song and dance about it and even then you don’t get to your point!”

A loud smack came across her cheek. Her hair covered her face but opened up the back of her neck for the camera to see yet another cut and taser markings. 

“Well, aren’t you just the perfect gentleman?” Sandy looked back up to him. 

Sharply, he yanked at her hair and placed another hand under his chin harshly. 

“I wouldn’t speak to me like that if I were you, Alexandra.”

“Don’t call me that.” Sandy gritted. “You’re not my mother.”

“It’s your name, though? Isn’t it? Alexandra Fletcher. Special Agent. Only child- well, that’s not exactly true. Is it?”

Sandy laughed. “What? You been looking through my family’s medical records again? Wasn’t smart enough to become a doctor to get them legally so you stole them? That it? Oh, your parents must be so proud.”

He sharply gripped at her throat again. 

“Shut the fuck up.”

“Didn’t know this was your angle. Always thought this was Ernie’s method.” Sandy continued. 

“What’s she doing? She’s going to get herself killed!” That was the main comment coming from the officers until Beau shushed them all. 

“Where is Ernie by the way? I thought you two were attached by the…” Sandy looked down a little. “You know? Everything.”

He placed more pressure on her throat but before she felt herself begin to pass out, Ernie walked inside. 

“Let her go. I want to have some fun with this one. She’s special.”

“Thanks.” Sandy steadied her breathing. “Last person who called me that was my 5th grade teacher.”

“Humor? Is that your distraction?”

“More of my entertainment than anything.” Sandy shrugged. “The Sesame Street writers have really gone down the drain since they replaced some of the acts.”

Ernie threw back his head in a laugh as he picked out his tools. “Ha! Let me guess? We’re Bert and Ernie?”

“Congratulations, you have fucking ears. You mom must have been so proud when you finally listened to her.”

“Oh, she was. She asked me to kill her neighbor for her. The dog kept shitting in our garden.” He explained before lowering his top half to be eye-level with her. “Just one thing? Why Bert and Ernie?”

“Well…I’ve read your files. And you both seem to have this…ooh, what’s the word?” It hit her. “Codependency. Well, one of you does.” Sandy whispered before gesturing over to Bert. 

Ernie smiled. “Is that right?”

“Yeah.”

Ernie’s face changed, no surprise to Sandy and he swiped his knife across her as he distracted her by punching her gut. 

“Your folks ever tell you it’s not nice to beat on girls?”

“Pops encouraged it, actually. Said women needed to know their place in society. Thinking. Having an opinion. It wasn’t right.”

“Do you believe that?”

Ernie shrugged. “Not really. I have met some extraordinary women along the way.”

“Who you’ve killed along the way?”

“Most.”

“What about him?” Sandy nodded over to Bert. 

“Oh, he'd be too afraid of them to try.”

“Seems pretty confident to me.” Sandy argued. “I mean, he had me shaking in my boots before you came in here.”

“I’m sure he did.”

Beau and some more of the officers continued to watch in silence whilst Jenny stood over Popp’s shoulder, trying to find a location on Sandy. 

Beau’s eyes stayed glued to the screen in front of him looking for any sign or hint for where she might be. 

She couldn’t be that far. She’d only been gone 3 hours - although it felt longer. 

And clearly, they’d had tied for a while. 

“Where are you, Sandy?”

“Do you have anything you’d like to say? Perhaps to that Sheriff of yours?” Ernie now asked as he circled her before finally leaning down behind her. “I saw how he was looking at you at dinner.”

Sandy rolled her eyes, “Oh, brother.”

“Now, I might not be the best expert but even I know when a guy is into you.”

“Why? Did you catch yourself in the mirror when checking Bert out?”

Ernie gave a harsh, fake smile. “Funny,”

“Oh, no. Please. Do continue.” Sandy’s voice was laced in sarcasm as she watched Ernie walk away. 

“You laugh, but I guess…part of you hopes I’m right.”

Sandy didn’t say anything but simply shot him a look of slight confusion for him to continue. 

“Because I also saw how you looked at him?”

“And how did I look at him?”

Ernie turned around and lent against his weapons table as another blade sat comfortably in his hands. “Like you’d do anything for him.”

Sandy thought about it for a moment. “Hhm, maybe. But he is my colleague so…maybe not anything.”

“Please, you were planning your wedding invitations.”

“Actually, it was our joint grave stone.” Sandy corrected. “Much like you with your very own partner in crime. I mean, there is a lovely plot of land for you out in the field. I mean, watching the stars from the little pond by that old willow tree? It would be very peaceful.”

“Sounds like you’ve found your own resting place.”

Sandy smiled, “Maybe.”

She could only hope that Beau or someone caught onto what she was saying. 

And he did.

Beau gave the order and after a final few minutes, they’d found the spot. 

For any main road, it would take just over an hour. 

“Okay, I need squad cars, Popp take Alpha,” Beau then pointed to a few more officers and gave them their orders. 

“Stream this to my phone.” Beau told Popp and the moment they got into Beau’s car, Jenny turned up the volume. 

“Is she okay?”

“I think.”

“You think? What do you mean-”

“Beau, she’s okay.” Jenny assured him. “She’s just sitting there watching them.”

“Okay.”

“She’ll be okay, Beau.” Jenny reassured him. “She’s tougher than we think.”

Beau couldn’t talk. He just nodded and pressed his foot on the gas. 

By the time they arrived, Beau and the others all switched off their headlights and sirens as they got closer to the barn. 

Once the SWAT and officers were surrounding the building, SWAT kicked down the door and they all entered. 

If Beau wasn’t so determined, the sight he was met with, he would have frozen. 

SWAT took care of the serial duo whilst Jenny searched the rest of the barn for evidence to further the conviction. 

Beau searched around the place before finally reaching Sandy, holstering his gun and leaning down. 

“Beau Arlen,” Sandy smiled in a weak laugh. “Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes?”

Beau smiled as he quickly untied her and let her rest her weight against his arms as he helped her stand. 

“Could say the same for you, Sweetheart.”

Sandy smiled weakly as he took her in his arms and helped her walk outside to the medics. 

“Are you sure you can walk?”

“Beau, I have been through this a million times. I’m fine.”

As much as Beau would have once upon a time pushed her comment aside, he couldn’t. “What?”

“I’ll explain later, can we just..hurry?”

By the time Beau helped her out and got her to the medics, she was being rushed into hospital. 

“They haven’t cut too deep. I should only need a couple of stitches.”

“Try 30.” The paramedic said in response. “Maybe more.”

Beau gave Sandy ‘that’ look but she just rolled her eyes. “What?”

“How can you be so calm about this? Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Beau, I told you I’m fine.”

And she said the same when he finally was alone with her in her medical room once her nurse had finished the final stitches. 

“You keep saying you’re fine-”

“Are you okay? Do you need to see a doctor?”

“Sandy.”

“Beau.” She copied his tone. 

Then he gave her that look again. 

And she folded. 

“Okay. So maybe the reason I was sent here wasn’t just to help out.” Sandy explained. “There had been a few incidences, back in Oregon. I worked a couple of cases in the Organised Crime Unit and - long story short - they found me. Tied me up in their grandmother’s basement and said if I didn’t join them I’d be…swimming with the fishes, if you will.”

“But this isn’t on-”

“My record? I know. It’s for highly classified officials to know, only.” Sandy nodded. “It was both for my protection, should any of the family somehow make their way into the databases and for any future employers I may have. Being tortured by a crime boss isn’t exactly something that would sell when trying to get a job in law enforcement.”

“When did it happen?”

“A few years back.”

“And have you-”

“Received counseling? Yeah. Just over 18 months and now we talk every couple of months.”

Beau nodded and hung his head. “Beau? Look at me?”

Beau looked up. 

“I’m here. I’m alive. And I’m okay.” Sandy assured him in a soft voice. She reached out and took his hand. “Can you feel me? I can feel you.”

Beau squeezed her hand lightly. “I can feel you.”

Beau then pulled her into a tight hug which she gave back just as tight. He almost lost her tonight and yet she had been acting like nothing had happened. 

But, just as Beau’s arms began to relax around her, Sandy’s arms tightened. 

“Not yet.”

It was only two words, but Beau knew. Beau knew she was falling. That she was about to collapse beneath the weight of everything that had just happened. 

Eventually, Sandy let go and moved back to wipe her eyes. “When these pain meds wear off, I might need your help. I love Denise but she scares me.”

Beau nodded. “Oh, me too.”

Sandy smiled. “Thank you for finding me.”

“Thank you for telling me where you were.”

[rzyraffek]

Imagine the reader gets swooped by a magpie or watch the reader torturing a cockroach because it came in the room

THIS CAN BE FOR JOHN THE MAN, BRAHMS, STU AND BILLY AND YEAH

(She / her ) pronounce

If your wonder why I said magpie I’m Australian lol

THIS CAN BE HEADCANON IF YOU WANT TO

Love your work :D ( I wrote this at a late time sorry lol )

OM SO SORRY BY LIKE MONTH DELAY I KINDA WROTE IT WGOLE AND FORGOT TO POST IT???? IDK! ALSO VEFORE I SFART I NEED TO INFORM YOU ALL THAT MY MOM GAVE ME SUPER FLUFFY FUR-LIKE BED SHEETS AND NOW OM IN HEAVEN OKAY BACK TO FIC! Request open check blog for more info!!!

Austarian s/o and Slasher being silly goofy ahh

Hush men (autocorrect changed it to ben💀)

They were just walking thrue forest, epic romantic atmosphere and all

They were playing around and s/o run away from him (not like super away, like 10meters maybe) and she was like "ayo watch this-" she didnt finish cuz huge fucking magpie just flew into her head, s/o instantly fell face first on ground "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH i mean honey are you alright" "ouch:( why u laughing" "i did not laugh" (he is gaslighting her, he in fact haha'ed)

Oneday he was vibing playing c.o.d ( he seems like guy Who would play cod) and hear little giggles from bedroom, "honey whats so funny" *s/o torturing cockroach* "I-🧍" "!!! I have been spotted!!*runs away giggling🚶‍♀️*

Brahms

When she was in garden taking care of plants he was watching from window(go touch some grasss!!!!) And when she tried to get up(she was crouching) Bird tried to fly above her head, well it didnt expect her to just get up so fast, so basicily she just hit Bird with her head. Brahms was just🤨😟

Bird fell on ground but it jusu screeched something that sounded like language of gods and fley away

Brahms is spooked of rats, so I assume he is spooked of bugs too

He will go :D yay no mor bug to realisation D: theres bug!!! Nuiii aaaa 1bug=more bug!! Aaaa

Bros panics more than me when I get new DM on discord

Pls kill it fast and get rid of it asap!!!

Stu Macher

Man will join tortures

Cold heart he has, exept for her, for her he is💖😊🥰😍

He wont touch cockroach but he will bully it mentaly (making fun of cockroach stu enjoys)

If she gets swooped by magpie he will record it and tell all his friends

BONUS ROUND Asa Emory (cuz I love Asa)

Man loves bugs so when he sees her tortuing one hes like😨 "ohno nonono you stop that!!" "See Asa?? Thats you if u wont to dishes >:)" "ohlourd *speedruns to kitchen*

He was probably taking her on romantic walk thrue park, they sat on bench, he gave her the neckless she wanted for weeks now! She put it above her head to put it on and some magpie just whooped her head and stole it (som birds love shiny)

Lucky the crimial was found and neckles was given back

No mor gifts in parks!!

[winterswake]

the dance started because Vhagar has fucking dementia. that’s fucking hilarious. Aemond is not mommy’s little war crimial either, at least for now, just a poor little meow meow. One can only imagine what’s going to happen in riverlands at this point

I can’t believe they bleached my boy like that.

[kayhi808]

The Assassin - Part 4

*Title change* Previous

The hit didn't go off as planned but she completed it. All it took was 10 minutes, and she was back with her date, who's none the wiser.

"I was beginning to think you left," taking a bite out of the array of desserts before him.

She stealthy removes the ziploc knife from under her dress and drops it her bag at her feet. "Why would I do that? We were just getting to know each other. Lets go back to my place & get to know each other even better."

Bill's eye twinkle with amusement, "You don't want dessert first?"

"Are you waiting for me to say something cheesy?" Keiko practically purrs, "The only dessert I want is you?" She picks up Billy's discarded fork & takes a bite of dessert, "Delicious," Billy watches as her tongue escapes to lick at whipped cream at the corner of her mouth.

"It's always best to be honest. You're making the moves on me," placing his napkin on the table.

Smirking at him, "Yes, but you were the one who admitted to fantasizing about me. Maybe later you can tell me what you pictured us doing. I'm really good at making wishes come true." Bill doesn't break eye contact, but she notices the flush of pink on his cheeks. "Let's go." Billy pulls out his wallet, but Keiko shakes her head. "It's my treat. You can pay next time." Droping her credit card on the table, "Can you wait for the waiter to bring the bill? I have to talk to my friends really quick, " tilting her head over at the Ramirez brothers.

"Ok. Thanks for dinner," putting his wallet back in his pocket. No woman has ever paid for Bill on a date. Woman are usually after him for his money. "So you're saying that there's going to be another date."

"Sure, why not." Keiko stands, slinging her bag over her shoulder and heads to the Yakuza henchmen, shooting a wink over her shoulder at Bill.

The brothers greet her with leering smiles & eyes focused on her breasts. God, how she hated them. She knows how to play the part, morphing into every man's wet dream. Giving a seductive pout, Kieko slithers in next to Hector Ramirez, making small talk. Flirting and flattering them. Boosting their already inflated egos. She wanted to vomit. She was there for one reason.

She leans over & kissing Hector's cheek. One hand squeezing his thigh, the other slipping inside her purse. LIke the practiced crimial that she was, Keiko pulls the knife out & with feather-light fingers, she slid it into Hector's pocket. Still fresh with blood.

*****

They share a taxi back to Keiko's penthouse. To Bill's surprise, they were able to keep up their conversation. He was expecting awkward silence. "Three questions."

"What?"

"Your kink. You want to delve into my mind? You want to get to know me? Think of this as foreplay. I'll answer 3 personal questions."

He couldn't stop his surprised laughter. He was certain this wasn't an opportunity she gave to most people. There were a ton of intimate questions he wanted to know about her, but he kept it simple. In his experience, people revealed more about themselves when they feel less threatened. "Uh...have you lived in New York all your life?"

"I was born & raised in The Bronx & went to Columbia University."

"What was your major?"

"I have a Master's in Chemistry. I was going to move to Virginia after college, become an environmental chemist..." her voice trails off. "My father called me back, so I had to return to New York. He had me run 11:11 and things," shrugs, "got away from me."

"What about your mom?"

"My mom? She was a Yakuza princess. Beautiful & wild. She wanted to piss my grandfather off so she hooked up with the Italians. Ta-da. And she got me."

"Where is she now?"

"You had your 3 questions."

"It's more like 3.1...same question." She gives him a sad smile.

"My grandfather wouldn't continue to support her if she kept me around. She left me here & got sent back to Japan. My dad fostered me off to a couple in The Bronx. Mom died of a drug overdose." Keiko gives a delicate shrug & turns to gaze out of the window.

It also gave Billy time to try and figure this woman out. He watched her as she flirted with the Ramirez brothers. . She knew how to work men, but she didn't appear to enjoy it. Like a child in church, her body was there but her mind wasn't present. She had the same energy at her 11:11 Club when men approached her & with the blonde at the hotel cafe. Why does she even bother if she doesn't enjoy their company?

He also couldn't stop thinking about their disturbing conversation at dinner about death. Her too casual way she talked about it. Billy glances over at her profile, "What happened to your neck?" He hadn't noticed bruises during dinner. The restaurant was dim, but still he was an observant man.

"You can't seem to grasp the 3 question rule." Keiko looked at him, "If you must know, I like rough sex," a suggestive curl on her lips.

"It wasn't there earli---"

"We're here," not letting Bill finish.

They exit the taxi and Bill admires the Italian Renaissance-Style Palazzo. "Beautiful building."

"Once I became more of an asset to my father, he brought me in from the Bronx." Keiko leads them to a personal elevator that led right to her door. It's an open layout with panoramic views of Central Park. Clean & spacious. A similar style to his own home. "Want a drink?"

"Whiskey on the rocks?" Keiko goes to pour his drink as he takes a seat on a bar stool. "Why do you have a full bar if you don't drink?"

"If my Dad visits, or company," kicking off her heels a leaning against the back of a chair, facing Billy.

"Why did you choose to Master in Chemistry?"

Unpinning her hair, Bill watches if fall in silky ebony waves. His fingers itch to bury his hands in it. "I wanted to learn to make crystal meth. But now i'm just a boring business woman."

"You may not be a drug kingpin, but I doubt you're boring." Keiko smiles and walks over to Billy, standing in between his legs, resting her palms on his thighs. She brushes a soft kiss on his neck below his beard. "Are you going to tell me what really happened to your neck?"

Looking up at him, "I already told you, it's from a lover who likes it rough."

"Do you have many lovers?"

"Why? Would you like to be one of them?" squeezing his thighs.

"I only want it if you do."

Rolling her eyes, "I forgot. You think sex is better if there's a connection," stepping away from him. Keiko's tongue flicks over her bottom lip. Billy's eyes went straight for it. She did it on purpose. He curses himself for falling into her trap. "Less complicated always feels better." She slips her dress off, tossing it to the ground. She moves back so she leaning against the chair again, her eyes dropping to his crotch, "Come here & show me what you can do, Mr. Russo."

Billy's "create a bond" speech flies out of his head. This is what he wanted from the moment he laid eyes on her. The carnal side of him yearned to rip through her lace bra & panties. He wanted to taste her. Touch her. Bury himself inside her. His cock strained against his zipper. Forget taking Keiko to her room. Billy didn't have the patience to go up the stairs to her bedroom. He'd fuck her against the panoramic window.

"Well? Are you going to fuck me?" Keiko's hands trail down her body.

YES.

No.

Yes.

NO.

Damn it!!

Bill crosses over to her & tucks a strand of hair behind her ear, "I'm not doing this with you tonight." His words cut like razors as he spits them out of this throat. He grabs her dress off the floor & hands it to her.

"Are you serious??" The woman was obviously not used to rejection.

"I'd love to spend the night with you, but I want you to want me." Keiko's veil was back in place. She didn't flinch.

Not taking her dress, she walks to the staircase. "I'm going to bed. Lock the door on your way out." She didn't wait to see him leave. She walks up the staircase, leaving Billy to gaze at what he could've just had.

*****

Even at home, Keiko consumed Billy's mind. He turns the TV on for some distraction or else he'll spend the entire night with his cock in his hand. It'll probably happen anyways, but he'd at least try to distract himself. Flipping through channels, he see's Tanner, the owner of Saka Mai being interviewed by a reporter. Three bodies were found in the men's room. Pictures of the victims flashes across the screen & Billy recognizes them immediately. The 3 henchmen that were sitting at the bar. They were member's of Ichiwa-kai, one of the Yakuza crime families.

According to the report, the suspects they had in custody, Hector & Marco Ramirez, were from a rival family. The two brothers Keiko was speaking to before they left. A bloody knife was found on the suspect. The murders occurred around 9 o'clock. Around the same time Keiko stepped out to call the club. And the bruises on her neck. Billy was almost certain that the brother's never left their table.

Did she?

She was in a dress & heels for god sake! Not to mention she was on a date....Bill calls her & she picks up on the second ring.

"Did you change your mind? Do you want to come back over to fuck me?"

"I do," he admitted. "But I won't"

"I guess I'll have to take care of myself tonight." Purring, "I'll be thinking about you." Bill hardens, thinking of her caressing herself to thoughts of him. "Want to video chat so you can watch me?"

So close to saying yet, "I'll pass."

Sighing, "What do you want, Billy?"

Almost forgetting why he called, "You know the men at Saka Mai?"

"You need to be more specific. There were a lot of men at Saka Mai."

"The three at the bar.

Yawning, "I remember. What about them?

"They are on the news."

"Are they dead?"

The impassiveness in her tone unnerved him, "How did you know?"

"Why else would you be calling me & asking me about them? Do you think I killed them?"

"I didn't say that. I was just wondering....Forget it. I don't know what I was thinking. I'm sorry for calling so late."

In a soothing tone, "Billy, they were probably Yakuza. Most of the men who dine there are Yakuza. And I bet a lot of people wanted them dead. Get some rest." Keiko hangs up.

Great. He just accused a 5'3" business woman of killing 3 gangster, twice her size.

As Billy drifts off to sleep another thought crosses his mind. Keiko never denied that she was the murderer.

@idaofinfinity @imagine-a-fictional-boyfriend @e-dubbc11 @jvanilly