#credit to MEEE i made this :3

[paludal-paws]

tenma tsukasa nails hair hips heels edit. enough said

[thefallennightmare]

Just Pretend-sixteen

*gif created by me. feel free to use, simply give credit*

Parings: Noah Sebastian x Musician! Reader

Warnings/Tropes: language, angst, fluff, smut, star-crossed lovers, right person/wrong time, cheating, talks of mental abuse.

Summary: “I can wait for years, heaven knows I’m not getting over you.” A story about two star-crossed lovers, that always find their way back because their souls are entwined. The universe desperately attempts to bring them together, no matter what the cost.

Authors Note: Please listen to Eyelids by PVRIS during this chapter. Thank you very much.

Tags: @ozwriterchick @waake-meee-up @notingridslurkaccount @niicoleleigh @sammyjoeee @xxrainstorm @dominuslunae @notmaddihealy @malice-ov-mercy @crimson-calligraphyx @iknownothingpeople @writethrough @thebadchic @blackveilomens Claudia on Tumblr @tobe-written @blacksoul-27 @loeytuan98 @loverofagoodbeard @comfortcharactercraze @lma1986 @plutonikchaos1 @spicywhenspeaking @lyschko666 @somewhere-diamond @hi-fancy-seeing-you-here @koskeepsake @bngurngheart @shilohrosechicken @emzandthevoid

READER

With the notebook in my lap, as I sat cross-legged on my bed with Salem curled up next to me, purring away, I watched intently my laptop screen. My heart pounded so hard in my chest it made it hard to breathe. Noah and Jolly were currently performing a live stream on Veeps and from the moment I clicked on the video, I couldn’t stop staring; with his long hair cascading down his face in perfect waves. His face stone with concentration but yet soft with the features I loved.

“Do you think he’ll mess up like the last stream he did?” I asked Salem while scratching his belly.

Noah’s voice was something extremely distinctive, not just anyone could hold a tune or lit a candle to how he sounded. The way he effortlessly went through every emotion in his body. I looked at Noah as he was pretty still, with thick hair and soft eyes, and he swayed so gracefully that it almost seemed as though he was gliding. I’ve seen beautiful men before; men who caught my eye, but to my mind, they usually lacked the traits I found most desirable. Traits like intelligence, confidence, strength of spirit, passion, traits that inspired others to greatness, traits I aspired to myself, all the traits he had.

I hung off the cliff for Noah for a long time until recently, when I fell to the depths below.

It sparked something in me as I watched Jolly and Noah’s performance. I wanted to do something like this too; to showcase my real voice. I was better without Trey; the band was better. Trey wasn’t the end-all, and I wanted to prove it further. I understood the fans; I knew their positions; I understood their inner turmoil and their panic. Change is actually horrific under some circumstances, not all, but surely a few. This one was big.

Hollow Souls was never supposed to be a 3 piece. Hell, we didn’t even have a guitar player and our tech had to fill in when we recorded My House. Which is why I was learning how to play guitar so I could take Trey’s place. A lot of change within a few months and while it was scary, it was also exciting. But that didn’t stop me from questioning once again if we needed another person. What if I wasn’t strong enough to do this alone? Just the three of us? 

What the hell were you worried about, angel?

I was thinking so heavily about what Noah texted me. He was proud of me. Of me! And my friends. That woke me up, he always could. I wanted to grab my phone to call him, and ask him for more reassurance. Our 2:30 conversations were slim and in between and I was struggling with that. I didn’t want to push my luck; he had Bailey.

Bailey.

Bailey.

I rolled my eyes, at the memories of the party. Ridiculous. I was tiptoeing around Noah; I knew if I called him I’d so desperately try to stay on the line. But what if she showed? It was killing me.

Therefore, I was hesitant to perform Eyelids; I was worried Noah’s reaction would warrant further frustration, considering he was in the arms of someone else. I couldn’t handle it because it fucking hurt seeing him with her. I wanted Noah to myself, as selfish as that sounded. I could only hope that in the discovery of my lyrics, he’ll at least know I meant everything we did and said that whole tour, meeting him changed my life for the better; before I hurt him.

I miss him and I only wished I was in his arms.

As the livestream ended, I smiled warmly as Noah and Jolly waved goodbye at the camera and then tried to focus my attention on the paper in my lap.

Amongst the idea of our own live stream, I couldn’t help but want more out of me. It was small; it was something just dying to purge out. However, the more I looked at the lyrics on paper, the more it didn’t fit; it wasn’t me. It was as if these lyrics were meant for someone else.

Letting out a deep breath, I sang a harmony I thought would fit with the lyrics. “Evened the scores, then I let it all go fall apart. And every step forward put a little more sword in your heart, yeah. Looking sideways when I say I’m okay with the past but I’m afraid of what I might say if you ask.”

The more I read it, over and over. It was good; I’ll say that. But, surely it didn’t belong to me. I could feel that. But I didn’t give up yet. I wrote another verse, hoping this one would speak more of me.

“I did it to myself, tried to be someone else. I let it tear me down, and I'll never be the same. I did it to myself and tried to be someone else. And you didn't notice 'til I finally got, finally got away.”

Fuck, even singing these lyrics didn’t feel right. My heart knew that this didn’t belong to me, it was meant for someone else.

Making a rash decision, I pulled out my phone and clicked on the name I needed help from.

“Hello?”

I perked up at the accent immediately. “Jolly! Hey, it's me. Y/N.”

A light chuckle echoed in my ear. “I know who it is, doll, I have caller ID.”

“Ok don’t be smart,” I teased.

“Sorry,” he laughs, “What do I owe the pleasure?”

I bit my lip, wondering how he would take my idea. It sounded rash in my head but if anyone were to listen to my idea; it was Jolly.

“I have something to run by you. Well, actually a few things.”

NOAH

My knee bounced as I sat in my chair, phone gripped tightly in my hand, as I glanced at the clock on my computer.

2:28.

It has been almost a week now since our last 2:30 call and the last one was short as she was running around Japan with her dad. Things were awkward to say the least at the party the other night and I wanted to make sure that things between us were still good.

Good? What’s considered good anymore? You’re dating someone else, dumbass.

Ignoring the voice in my mind, I let out a deep breath before clicking on Y/N’s name; the ringing echoing loudly in my quiet room. It rang and rang and rang. It went on like this for a few more times until, eventually; I hung up the call with a groan. But I wasn’t ready to give up yet and I typed out a quick message to Malcolm.

ME: Is Y/N around? I tried calling her.

Malcolm: Yeah, she’s been in the shower. Has been in there for a while- too long, maybe shaving or some shit. I’ll have her call you.

An audible, deep groan, fell from my lips as I leaned my head back against the headrest of my chair when the thought of Y/N in the shower.

Naked, water, and soap ran down every inch of her unholy skin.

“Shit,” I cursed when my dick twitched in my sweats.

“Noah.”

Y/N’s voice rang in my ear as my eyes fluttered shut, hands in fists on my thighs. My vision was so vivid as if I was in the shower with her, our wet skin ablaze as I wrapped my arms around her from behind to bury my face into the crook of her neck.

“Angel,” I breathed while my palm pressed against my hard cock in my sweats.

My hips raised from the chair as a moan crawled out of my throat, my hand now all but ripping out my dripping cock from my pants. It was red and thick with the mere thought of Y/N in the shower. Gripping it between my fingers, I slowly pumped up and down, thumb grazing over the pre-cum that leaked out from the slit and circled it around the head of my cock.

“Noah, I need you.”

Her name fell from my lips as a prayer while I leaned farther back into my chair as my hand worked faster, the grip around myself tightened as the orgasm buzzed in my lower stomach. The burn felt so good but it wasn’t enough; I needed something else to help me over the edge.

I pulled the extra skin down tight, cock standing straight up in my hand, as I let out a strangled breath. My orgasm was right there, but I wanted to edge myself longer; I didn’t want this vision to end.

Y/N rubbed the soap over every inch of her skin, her fingers teasing over her nipples as he head fell back, water spraying into her mouth.

But after that vision, another one came to mind which made my hand work in faster strokes. Y/N on top of me with her hands gripping my braids as her mouth fell slack with ecstasy. I consistently became a time traveler of that night, the night she rode me into oblivion. A night I’ll surely never forget. Even in these moments, my mind goes there.

“Fuck. Shit.” I cursed as a shock shot from the base of my spine to the top when my body went stiff, orgasm so close to destroying me.

I jerked when my phone buzzed against the computer desk so I stopped my actions but kept my grip tight on my aching cock to realize Bailey was calling me.

Ignore.

With my phone still in my hand, I quickly went to my photos and clicked on one of my favorite pictures of Y/N; from the day we spent on the beach. She was staring straight out into the water, a small smile playing on her sweet, plump lips.

Fuck, I wished those lips were strangled around my cock.

Once the phone was set up directly in front of me, I leaned back into my chair again and worked my hand in fast short strokes, the orgasm once again burning low in my belly.

“Noah.” Y/N’s voice echoed in my mind again.

“Shit, angel. I’m gonna-fuck,” I groaned low, the noise barely audible as it crawled out of my throat when my release finally washed over me.

Cum shot all over my hand and onto my pants but none of that mattered; my dark eyes were stuck on the picture on the screen. Until a different picture appeared which had me cursing and wiping my cum covered hand on my pants before tucking myself back into my pants. Just a simple phone call from her had my dick aching again.

With a few steady breaths, I ran my clean hand through my hair before answering the FaceTime call; Y/N’s bright smile warming my heart.

“Hi Mochi! I didn’t mean to miss your call. I was in the shower.”

She was sitting on her bed, water still dripping from her wet hair, and internally I groaned when the same thoughts as earlier came creeping back into my mind.

“Oh yeah? You-uh-feeling clean?” I flushed while shifting in my chair.

“Well, yeah,” she chuckled. “That’s what a shower is. Water, soap.”

Naked, I know the drill.

I cleared my throat. “Right. Anyway, can you talk or is this a bad time?”

“Actually, I was going to send this in the group chat but since I have you on the phone, I figured now would be the best time.”

I raised a brow as my heart pounded widely in my chest, wondering what she was going to say.

“Veeps offered Hollow Souls to do a stream as well! So I wanted to make sure you were free to watch it, maybe? Totally fine if you can’t, I know you might be busy with-.”

“I’ll watch it,” I rushed out, not missing a beat. “What time?”

“Oh, in about 2 hours?” She bit her lip, hopeful I’d say yes.

My dick throbbed as memories of moments before her phone call replayed in my mind. “I’ll have the tv on standby downstairs, angel. We wouldn’t miss that shit for anything.”

Y/N smiled brightly as she brought Salem into view of her phone, his green eyes staring directly into my soul. “Salem thanks you for the support.”

“I miss him, we really bonded while you were gone,” I smiled a bit.

“Well, you can come by anytime to hang out with him; or me,” Y/N added the last bit slyly.

“Count me in, angel.”

READER

Once dressed, almost ready for the live stream, I was rummaging through my sock drawer to find a pair of socks when my fingers brushed against something soft. My brow raised as I pulled out two small velvet boxes, my mind immediately going back to my birthday.

Biting the inside of my cheek, I opened the box, and a gasp left my lips as the silver necklace and matching bracelet shined under the light of the room. It wasn't anything over the top and there were no diamonds but that didn't matter to me. I wasn't one for over-the-top jewelry, this simple chain and bracelet were enough.

With wet eyes, I gazed up at Noah, who had a nervous look on his face as he fiddled with his wooden rosary. "Do you like it?"

I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him into my embrace, burying my face into his neck. "I love it, Noah. Thank you so much."

With the haste of break up, the end of the tour, the move, and everything that happened between Noah and me, I almost forgot about the jewelry. I've stared at this bracelet and this fucking necklace for a while now. To think I had almost forgotten it, I shook my head at the thought. I couldn’t, things that were meant for us to find their way back. Well; at least that’s what I told myself. I yearned for him, his comfort, his gaze. I didn’t plan on falling in love with him. But once we met, it was clear that neither of us could control what was happening to us. I gasped when I realized what that burning feeling in my heart took over my entire existence each time I thought of him or saw him.

I love Noah.

I nearly stumbled on my feet as a breath fell from my lips again. “It’s too late now.”

With shaky hands, I opened the box, my heart skipping a beat. It still took my breath away as I opened the box, clasping on the necklace first then the bracelet.

“I have to admit, Salem” I turned towards the mirror in my room so I could stare at my reflection while the cat sat on my vanity. “Noah did pretty well.”

There was a knock on my open door, and I gave a small smile towards Jolly. “Hey.”

“Almost ready?” He asked.

“Yep.”

He then taped a finger to his neckline twice. “That’s a nice necklace. Who gave you that?”

“It was a birthday gift,” I shrugged nonchalantly.

The corner of Jolly’s mouth turned up in a grin. “That’s not what I asked.”

Ignoring his comment, I slid into my slippers and led him out of my room down to the dining room where we set up earlier.

Jolly first arrived a few hours ago for our daily lessons before helping me set up the stream. After I watched theirs almost a week ago, I asked Jolly if he could come over to help me with my stream. I couldn’t play guitar but we could practice the two songs I wanted to perform.

Chase and Malcolm asked if I needed them for this but I could tell they already had plans. Even though this was a Hollow Souls set, it was more of an acoustic version so Chase on drums and Malcolm on bass wasn’t needed; hence why I asked Jolly to help. First off, who else was better to teach me how to play guitar than him? I knew the basics, but he was helping me hone in on my skills. Second, I needed to talk to him about something important.

As I finished making things were in order, Jolly sat on his chair to strum the first few notes of If I’m There on his guitar.

“Feel comfortable enough?” He wondered.

I nodded while looking at the laptop to make sure the stream was ready; all I had to do was hit the live button.

“Yep. We’ve been practicing every day. It helps I have a great teacher,” I beamed at him. “Thanks for this, Jolly. I didn’t know who else to ask and I know you’re Noah’s friend first.”

Jolly shrugged. “You’re my friend as well, doll. I help my friends and that’s something Noah knows and understands.”

Silence fell between us for a long moment until he hesitated.

“How did you feel about our new single, honestly?”

My shoulders went rigid for a second before I shrugged. “I’m fine, why wouldn’t I be?”

“Y/N don’t take this the wrong way, but you can’t be that dense. You know it was about you, right?” Jolly asked.

“I-,” The words died in my throat.

Jolly raised a brow. “Yeah, so tell me. How do you feel about it?”

“Are you my shrink now?” I crossed my arms over my chest, one last ditch effort at shielding myself from admitting the truth.

“No, a friend,” he sighed while setting down the guitar.

Defeated, I fell into the chair with a groan. “I-I feel sad. Noah must fucking hate me.”

“I assure you, he doesn’t,” Jolly said.

“How can you be so sure, Jolly? He went and found someone else. He’s clearly writing how he feels too. I hate feeling like this.” I sat with my hands folded in my lap as I chipped away at the nail polish.

“So talk to him, because I can tell you right now, Noah’s not head over heels for this girl. I think you know deep down what he’s trying to do.”

I refused to meet his gaze as I shook my head. “I don’t know what you mean. I can’t-he seems happy.”

“Y/N,” Jolly sighed. “He’s not happy unless he’s with you.”

“Then he needs to tell me that,” my eyes snapped up towards him. “I was going to express some things I’ve discovered but-.”

Jolly raised his brows. “Discovered what?”

For a split second, I thought about telling him but decided against it. “It doesn’t matter, I can’t mess anything up for him. I need Noah to need me. It works both ways, Jolly.”

“Y/N you’re not understanding you’ve got it all wrong-.”

“Can we move on, please? It hurts enough to think about him with someone else the last fucking thing I want to do is talk about them,” I let out a shaky breath as my bottom lip wobbled.

Jolly gave me a weak smile. “Sure thing, doll. Did you want to go live?”

“Actually,” I bit my lip before reaching over to the table to grab a piece of paper. “There’s something I want to run by you.”

When he nodded, I handed Jolly the paper. “I wrote it about Trey but the thought of recording it scares me. It’s deeper than what I typically write and it's not me. I thought about selling it but that didn’t feel right.”

I watched intently as Jolly read the lyrics, his eyes taking in every inch of the page, the smile on his lips growing with each pass.

“Doll, this is,” he shook his head. “Amazing. Are you sure?”

Our eyes locked as I nodded. “It’s not a Hollow Souls song. But Bad Omens on the other hand, I know you guys can give it the justice it deserves.”

NOAH

“SHUT UP!” I bellowed while tossing a pillow towards Jesse, who was talking extensively to Orie about some shit that didn’t matter. “The live stream is about to start.”

Jesse caught the pillow mid-throw and smirked. “Excited, are we?”

Flipping him off, I sat on the couch with a beer in one hand and my phone in the other, sending another text to Jolly. He’d been M.I. A all day, and we were wondering if he was going to join.

“Has anyone heard from Jolly?” I asked.

Orie shrugged. “I thought he was in his room.”

“We went to lunch earlier,” Michael said while walking into the living room, bowl full of random snacks in his hands before he set them on the coffee table. “But he said he had some things to take care of afterward.”

Just then the stream began and Y/N’s soft voice echoed through the speakers.

“Shit, are we live? Wait, I probably shouldn’t swear on this.”

We all shared a laugh until we saw who was sitting next to her.

“Hi everyone! It’s Y/N from Hollow Souls. You might have noticed that I have a friend here with me today,” Y/N adjusted the headphones before she motioned to Jolly who sat on her left. “Jolly from Bad Omens.”

Jolly waved to the camera. “Hi.”

“I guess that’s what his errand was,” Jesse said while throwing some popcorn in his mouth.

Ignoring him, I wondered why Jolly was with Y/N right now. I wasn’t jealous he was with her. I was jealous that I wasn’t there instead. She looked breathtaking with her long hair pulled back in a tight bun to showcase the sharp features of her face, her plump lips glistening with the lip gloss she must have applied before the stream started. Her bright eyes shined with the excitement of what she was about to perform which in turn made me sit up straighter in my spot on the couch, a proud smile on my face.

“So, the reason Malcolm and Chase aren’t here is because this set is more of an acoustic one. I recently saw some friends of mine do something like this and wanted to try it,” she smiled over to Jolly.

“I’m here for moral support,” Jolly said.

“He’s actually been teaching me guitar the last week because I wanted to do more for this band since we kicked Trey out,” Y/N revealed.

At the mention of his name, I felt my face twitch but kept it as stone as I could, not wanting to give anything away to the rest of the guys. They were the only three of the entire group that didn’t know the truth about Y/N’s relationship with Trey.

“Did you know Jolly was teaching her guitar?” Jesse asked me.

I shook my head while running a hand through my hair. “I had no idea she wanted to learn. I mean, I knew they had to figure out a guitarist moving forward but didn’t know she wanted to play.”

“She didn’t ask you?” Orie wondered.

I shrugged, wondering the same but did my best not to dwell on it as I went back to watching the feed.

“So, I’m going to sing two songs for you guys today. The first one is a cover, and the second is something new. It’s nowhere near ready for release but it’s been weighing heavy on my heart the last few weeks since I wrote it.”

Y/N adjusted her headphones before glancing over to her laptop. “Woah, the chat is going crazy you’re here, Jolly.”

He hummed in amusement while tuning the guitar. “What are they saying?”

“Where’s Noah? When is the collab with Bad Omens coming?”

Y/N snickered before looking back at the camera, giving a wink. “I don’t know. Noah has my number.”

Quickly pulling out my phone, I pulled up the stream to add something to the chat.

“Oh, look who joined the chat. Jolly, Noah is wondering if you could bring pizza home,” Y/N laughed as she read my comment.

I chuckled to myself as we saw Jolly roll his eyes. Then Y/N read my next comment, her cheeks flushing red; something others might not have noticed. But I did. I watched and analyzed everything she did with a careful eye.

The comment I sent in the chat was something simple; something only a few of us would understand.

We can talk about the collab during our next phone call.

She shifted in her chair, a hint of a smile on her face. “Well, my first song might sound familiar to a lot of you. It’s my first time performing it but unlike Noah did last week, I won’t mess up the words.”

Jolly broke out in laughter before playing the opening notes of the song; one I recognized immediately even though I knew which one she meant before Jolly played the first few notes of the song. There was only one song I messed up on a livestream recently. If I’m There.

Her beautiful voice stung deep into my veins as I fell back on the couch.

“Oh. Shit,” Orie spoke. “No offense, man, but Y/N kills your lyrics.”

I nodded, numbly as I agreed with him. It was as if my lyrics were made for her voice, the sultry tone of it sending chills all over my body. She gripped the microphone with a soft touch and my cock twitched as I remembered earlier up in my bedroom.

As she got to the verse I messed up on my own livestream, Y/N’s eyes opened to throw a quick wink and smirk toward the camera when she sang it perfectly; almost annoyingly perfect.

I felt a pair of eyes burning into the side of my head and briefly tearing my gaze away from the television; I shot Jesse a look.

“What?”

He pursed his lips while shaking his head. “You haven’t stopped smiling since she came on the screen. You look like a kid that was given free rein in a candy store.”

Rolling my eyes, I focused back to Y/N just in time as she sang the last two lines of the song.

“And if you're there to catch me when I fall then maybe Hell ain't so bad after all,” she breathed before pushing away the microphone from her a tad.

Shit.

This was different than Hollow Souls. The softness of the song was fucking made for Y/N and something she needed to do more of.

“Fuck yes,” she beamed but then smacked a hand over her face. “Sorry, didn’t mean to swear. I’ll add it to the jar Malcolm has on top of the fridge.”

“He doesn’t?” Michael chucked.

I nodded while taking a long drink of my beer. “He does. I saw it when I was there taking care of Salem. Thing is empty but fuck is in their everyday vocabulary so you know they’re not adding to that shit.”

Noticing she was reading the comments once again, I quickly typed out one.

Great job, Y/N! Feel free to cover any of our songs. I’d always watch it with a proud smile.

Even though she didn’t say she read it, I knew she did with the way the corner of her lip raised and the way her eyes crinkled at the sides.

“Alright, the last song is a new one. We do plan on having it on the next record but it will sound different from what you’ll hear right now. My friends, thank you for watching. This one is called Eyelids.”

This had me sitting on the edge of the couch, elbows on my knees, as excitement filled me.

“I'll face my fear of the evening once I get used to this feeling. I can't sleep. That's when you're torn away from me. While I'm dreaming I feel you leaving.”

My jaw fell slack, hearing the rawness in her voice with the pure emotion being poured out of her soul.

"I'll face my fear of the sunrise when I wake up with your hand inside mine. It's hard to say good morning when it's followed with goodbye. Just wanted to say good night.”

Something glinted on the screen, which immediately took my gaze away from her face down to her neck, my heart and breath catching in my throat. I remained silent as my body leaned closer to the television.

“What are you doing, man? Did you forget your glasses?” Michael joked.

His voice was a white noise as I moved from my spot on the couch to the coffee table, now sitting directly in front of the screen.

What the fuck?

Is that?

I inched closer and closer to that television, I couldn’t hear what was being said to me as I scrunched my face up and began squinting.

No, it can’t be.

“Our eyes fighting the light but I'm not ready to say good night, ooh. I try and hold on tight 'cause it's just not time to say good night. Say good night.”

It hung almost a little well above her cleavage, that beautiful silky neck- my eyes moved quickly to her wrists.

“Let me see,” I muttered under my breath.

I made an inaudible sound from my throat, mouth peering a little open.

She was wearing them; both of them. My heart raced even further, longer, more rapidly.

I was feeling a lot of things at once; I didn’t quite know how to place them. I needed a beer. I needed to talk to my shrink. That’s what I should do, because the panic was setting in, this ache was almost unbearable.

Why, why would she want to wear them after everything? Even now?

I’m hurting her right back, aren’t I?

Everything has become a puddle of mud, a mess of my volition now. I did this. All I could think while seeing the jewelry I gifted her, all I could hear while listening to her voice was “Maybe, just maybe I’ll come back to you.”

She was occupied by her own complicated thoughts - you could tell from the way she was squinting and moving her mouth.

Maybe I was imagining things. Maybe until-.

“I'll face my fear of the cold nights when you leave me behind. I felt your hands in my hair. I felt your breath on my neck. Yeah, I need to feel you again. Just wanted to say good night.”

My body went still, all the air taken from my lungs, as I watched her lips move. Her own personal conflict was clear in the way the muscles in her jaw tightened and her eyes screwed shut.

No, it couldn’t be.

She didn’t.

Did she?

Was this about us?

No, I’m overthinking this.

“Our eyes fighting the light but I'm not ready to say good night, ooh. I try and hold on tight 'cause it's just not time to say good night. Say good night.”

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Orie smack Jesse on the shoulder and motioned to the stillness of me; still unmoving.

“Our eyes fighting the light. But I'm not ready to say good night, ooh. I try and hold on tight 'cause it's just not time to say good night. Say good night.”

I could see Jolly vibing along to the lyrics next to Y/N but it didn’t matter. Nothing else mattered more than this moment right here as I watched her pour every feeling about that night into this one song. My heart fell deep into the pits of my stomach when I saw her grip the necklace, playing with it between two fingers.

These eyes are closed again for yet another night I wake up and I can feel you by my side. But I can't find you in the dark when you're so far. Yeah, that's the hardest part. Here comes the hardest part.

My eyes dropped slightly in tangent with my shoulders.

Our eyes fight the light. But I'm not ready to say good night oh. I try and hold on tight 'cause it's just not time to say good night. To say good night.

As the last lyric faded into the air, there was a hushed recording playing some words in the background; another small thing I picked up on.

“I mean in what world do I go to sleep after you and wake up before you? I don't even know how it happens. Well, I hope you're having sweet dreams. And you call me when you wake up.”

Fuck.

My bottom lip trembled when I recognized that voice. It was Y/N’s, and it wasn’t just any kind of recording. No, it was a voicemail she left me while she was in Japan. It was right after I missed one of our 2:30 calls. I was asleep but once I noticed she called me less than an hour later; I listened to the voicemail before quickly calling her back.

“Okay, that deserves a curse,” Jolly said. “You fucking killed that, Y/N.”

She was beaming with pride. “Holy shit, guys. You don’t understand how long I’ve had this festering inside of me. It feels so good to get out.”

Y/N clicked on the laptop to read through some of the comments, a small frown pulling at her lips.

“Oh my god. Are you and Trey getting back together?! You were so perfect. No, we’re not getting back together. I grew up since the breakup; I became a savage. But not everything is about fucking Trey. This is just a song about a really awesome guy. That’s it.”

I was still, like a statue, unmoving and unnerving as Joly and Y/N said their goodbyes before the stream ended; a black screen mirror back to me.

Jesse leaned forward in his chair. “Noah-.”

Hearing my name broke me out of the trance and without saying another word, I jumped up from my spot on the coffee table and took the stairs two at a time, my footsteps thundering throughout the house before I slammed myself into my bedroom.

Tears threatened to spill, burning at the corners of my eyes, but I held them in with a choked sob as I ran a shaky hand over my face.

I didn’t know what to make of anything anymore. Maybe just romantics would call this a twisted, toxic beginning to a love story while the cynics would call it a tragedy. In my mind, it’s a little bit of both, and no matter how you choose to view it in the end, it doesn’t change the fact that it involves a great deal of my life and the path I’ve chosen to follow and that I- I love her.

Ripping the drawer of my desk open, I rummaged through the useless crap, already knowing what I was looking for. I tossed the velvet boxes to the side and cradled the jewelry, my large hands encased them. I pressed them on my forehead and let the tears finally spill to the floor as I fell to my knees, resting my back up against my bed.

I cried; actually fucking cried.

The necklace and bracelet shook in my hands as the sobs wrecked through me. I haven’t cried like this in a long time mostly because I hated being this open and vulnerable. It made me sick, knowing that I wasn’t able to protect myself from these feelings right now. I spent my entire life protecting myself from these feelings only for Y/N to sink her claws into me in the best way possible.

“I love her,” I choked out through sobs, realizing what I felt earlier. “I fucking love her.”

NOAH

I wasn’t sure how long I kneeled on the floor, jewelry grasped deep in my palms as it dug into my skin. But it wasn’t until there was a soft knock on the door that pulled me from the despair. Red, puffy, bloodshot eyes glanced up at Jolly, whose shoulders fell as he took in my state; tears dried to my face and hair a mess from running my hands through it.

“Noah,” he muttered.

“Please leave me alone right now.” I whimpered lowly, refusing to meet his gaze again.

“No. Jesse said watching her perform Eyelids fucked you up. What’s going on?” Jolly kneeled in front of me.

“I can’t-,” I choked on a sob. “I don’t want to deal with this.”

Jolly rubbed his jaw. “Was it the song or the jewelry?”

My eyes snapped up to him. “How did you know about the jewelry?”

“You used the band card to charge it, goof. I see everything,” Jolly gave me a small smile.

“Fuck. Sorry,” I sighed.

“It’s okay man, it’s okay,” he reassured me with a strong grip on my shoulder.

“No, no, it’s not. I’m tired of feeling. I want to disappear, just disappear.”

Jolly now gripped both of my shoulders, forcing me to look at him. "No, you don’t. Don’t say that shit.” 

“I just mean I wish it wasn’t this. Y/N’s been giving me mixed signals.” I mumbled.

“Have you thought you’re doing the same? You’re literally hanging out with another woman out of spite,” He raised a questioning brow.

I leaned my head against the side of my mattress. “She won’t tell me how she feels, I’m trying to show her. I’ve always tried to show her.”

“There’s a saying.” Jolly paused, trying to think of the right words to say. “We are defined by what we do, not just nice words. However, I think you’ve shown enough, Noah. It’s time you use your words.” 

“I don’t know how,” I admitted with a shaky breath after a long beat of silence.

“If you’re not comfortable talking about it with us, Noah. Talk to your therapist about it- but this has to stop. It’s draining you.”

I saw the way Jolly’s mouth twitched, his own emotions close to slipping through his own mask, but he held it stronger than me.

“Once you’re in a better place, come to the studio. I have something to show you.”

I nodded. “Sure, yeah. Might be good for me to write something.”

Jolly gave one last squeeze to my shoulder. “Love you, man.”

“You too. Thank you.” I smiled.

NOAH

An hour and a long shower later, I walked down the hallway toward our studio with a new tune in my head. The lyrics were loud in my mind as I played with the new bracelet on my wrist, twisting it between two fingers.

“There’s not another way don’t let me go, don’t dig another grave today,” I sang under my breath as I walked through the door.

Jolly was sitting on the couch in the room, guitar on his lap and notebook on the floor at his feet. He looked up as I walked in and had a nervous smile on his face.

“Hey, you better?”

I gave a small nod. “Yeah. What’s this?”

As I sat on the couch next to him, I went to reach for the notepad before he placed a foot over it, blocking me from retrieving it.

“Y/N gave me something earlier. I really like it but wanted to run it by you, if you were comfortable,” Jolly said hesitantly.

I tensed, not knowing how to feel. I wasn’t comfortable with whatever Jolly needed to show me but knowing it was from Y/N eventually made me agree.

He removed his foot so I could grab the notebook, eyes immediately scanning over the lyrics on the page.

Evened the scores, then I let it all go fall apart. And every step forward put a little more sword in your heart, yeah. Looking sideways when I say I’m okay with the past but I’m afraid of what I might say if you ask. I did it to myself, tried to be someone else. I let it tear me down, and I'll never be the same. I did it to myself, tried to be someone else. And you didn't notice 'til I finally got, finally got away.

My heart stuttered in my chest as I licked my lips. “Wow, that’s impressive. When did you find the time to write this? Usually, that's my wheelhouse.”

“Noah cut the shit. You know this isn’t my work. I just told you, it’s Y/N’s,” Jolly sighed while pinching the bridge of his nose.

“I’m just being a dick.” I snorted a laugh while bumping his shoulder with mine.

“Yeah, you are. Now what do you think? We can use this, no? As inspiration, maybe?”

Suddenly the lyrics I sang a moment before walking into the room played in my mind again; I hummed them under my breath, adding it to the lyrics Y/N wrote.

“One second,” I muttered while pulling out my phone.

ME: You sure you want us to have your lyrics?

Y/N’s response was immediate.

Angel 🪽: Nobody could do it better than you guys. You’ll give those lyrics the justice it deserve.

Leaving the message on read, Jolly and I worked tirelessly to rework the lyrics together and when I felt we were in a good position with them, I reached for my phone again. There was still a lingering feeling festering deep inside of me, that I wanted to make sure Y/N was fine with.

ME: I’m taking creative liberty for this, are you good with that?

Angel 🪽: What's mine is yours, Noah. 

Yeah, not everything.

[xotrashratxo]

Nerdy Prudes Must Die Quotebook

Comment any I missed LMAO

⚠️NERDY PRUDES MUST DIE SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT⚠️

“I am only ONE MAN’s girl, and that man is JESUS CHRIST.” Grace Chastity

“SHUT UUUUUUPPPP.” Max Jagerman *Audience cackles* 

“THE ANSWER IS STILL NO….. by the way.” Max Jagerman

“RAAH” Max Jagerman and Grace Chastity

“the fucking BOW TIE KID???” Brenda the Cheerleader

“I know he’s RICH. But money isn’t everything! Looks are. “ Stacy the Cheerleader

“WAIFU MATERIAL” Richie Lipchitz

“SHE’S TOUCHING MEEE!! LUCKYYYY!” Ruth Fleming and Richie Lipchitz

“Woooow…. These toilets aren’t even in stalls! It’s better than I ever imagined!” Ruth Fleming

“Thats some cooool kid privilege right there.” Ruth Fleming OR Richie Lipchitz

“DESTROY HIM.” Grace Chastity

“God you suck, Grace.” Stephanie Lauter

“He’s made ALL OUR LIVES a living HECK.” Grace Chastity

“The most terrifying, HOTTEST bully in Hatchetfield” Grace Chastity

“BE COOL BEANS, KEEP THE BEANS COOL.” Grace Chastity

“We’ll fight sin with sin! Let the games begin!” ‘Nerdy Prudes’

“AM I READING AS GHOST OR LIN MANUEL MIRANDA” Peter Spankofvski

“YOU’RE FUCKING USLESS PETE.” (SO MANY PAUL REFERENCES.) Richie Lipchitz

“Ugh I gotta piss….” Max Jagerman

“Oh SHIT, where’s that creepy music coming from?” Max Jagerman

“Oh shit oh fuck it’s a fucking ghost!!!” Max Jagerman

“He thinks it’s real he’s just really fucking BRAVE.” Richie Lipchitz

“BOO HOO BITCH.” Max Jagerman

“I MAKE THE DEAD RUN IN FEAR! I AM GOD GOOOOO NIGHTHAWKS!” Max Jagerman

“Oh shit oh fuck I didn’t think there’d be a skele’in HERE!” Max Jagerman

“WOW… I uh… I thought you guys hated me. But uh, thanks! This was really great! No no no, this is the nicest thing anyone’s done for me!” Max Jagerman

“That was really special.” *bows* Max Jagerman

“And with MY luck, no one will even BOTHER making me their BITCH.” Ruth Fleming

“It was an act of god!” Grace Chastity

“Oh no she’s snapping again!” Richie Lipchitz

“Oh my asthmas back…” Richie Lipchitz

“I just cut off his nips.” Ruth Fleming FORESHADOWING??? 

“Steph, you can keep it. It would bring down my GPA.” Peter Spankofvski

“I’m tryna feel bad but it’s hard when everything is objectively better.” Peter Spankofvski

“Never thought I could open my locker without the fear running through me.” Richie Lipchitz

“N-IG-HT-AWE AWE- ks!” Everyone

“FUCK clivesdale.” Everyone, repeatedly. 

“FUCK YOU CLIVESDALE WE’LL KILL YOU!” Cheerleaders and Jocks

“Zeke! The fighting nighthawk!” Jason the Football player

“We support and love you, but you fuckin’ stink man!” Jason the Football player

“FUCK CLIVESDALE! FUCK EM STRAIGHT TO HELL!” Richie Lipchitz

“I love being alive!” Richie Lipchitz

“YA BITCH.” Max Jagerman

“Of course not! But you’ve lost everything.” Max Jagerman HIT SO HARD 

“Mama I’m cured!” Grace Chastity

“HWAELL they didn’t say!” Mark Chastity

“Alright ima need the 3 of you to shut the FUDGE up about Max Jagerman.” Grace Chastity

“SHUT. THE FUCK UP. RUTHY.” Stephanie Lauter

“People tell me to die everyday!” Ruth Fleming

“Don’t be ridiculous! Wait-“ Grace Chastity

“DAN!” Angry Adult Mob

“Suddenly the show is real upsetting!” Angry Adult Mob

“Fuckin’ transcendent…..!” Cop Corey

“I wanna remember who I YAAAMmmm…” Trevor, who’s only other credit is Barbecue Monologues Man 2 

“I turned 40 today.” *pours alcohol* Ruth Fleming in Barbecue Monologues

“Oh shit not Clivesdale!” Officer Shapiro

*heavy breathing* “…… thank you.” Peter Spankofvski

“MY DAD sells WOMEN’S SHOES.” Peter Spankofvski

“Dork at the beany’s counter has more balls than you.” Stephanie Lauter

“LEAVE ROOM FOR JESUS” Grace Chastity

“She’s bisexual and dead, where else could she be?” Grace Chastity, also GRACE DONT CALL ME OUT

“I’ve done horrible things! Like touching myself and lying to the police! I called god a son of a b word! Who am iiiiii…..” Grace Chastity

“Don’t comfort her, she’s fucking weird.” Stephanie Lauter

“KYUK KYUK KAH FUCK.” Max Jagerman

“I beg to differ, BITCH.” Max Jagerman

“I’ve got a gun.” Stephanie Lauter

“Are you a woman of god?” “Catholic.” “I’ll take that as a no.” Grace Chastity and Officer Shapiro (as a Catholic this is hilarious.) 

“I have no idea what I’m doing.” Peter Spankofvski (Me too Peter, me too.)

“My phone!” Stephanie Lauter

“WE DONT GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOUR PHONE.” The Lords in Black

“Or fuck off!” The Lords in Black

“It’s you Steph. I’m into you.” Peter Spankofvski (IM CRYINGGGG)

“I just took a bullet for you bro!” Max Jagerman

“SO YOU DO KNOW THE BIBLE?” Grace Chastity

“But Jesus never threw a football like you Max.” Grace Chastity

“SHUT YOUR MOUTH HOLE SPANKOVSKI. I wanna hear this.” Max Jagerman

“FUCK. YEAH.” Max Jagerman

“GASP. That’s NASTY. I like it.” Max Jagerman

“WHAT. THE FUCK. IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW.” Stephanie Lauter (That’s so me, Steph.)

“GRACE IS HAVING SEX WITH A FUCKING GHOST!” Peter Spankofvski

“I paid the price. Now fuck off!” *Spins* Grace Chastity

“WHAT ARE YOUUU-“ Max Jagerman

“You’re in my world now. Bitch.” One of the Lords in Black (Pokey I think???) 

“I…. Am gonna get some fucking coffee.” Officer Shapiro

“Did you guys know JASON goes to my CHURCH?” Grace Chastity

Total quotes: 85

[rei-does-stuff]

watched anymore episodes of the dub?

Yup! 4 eps! So this’ll be long!

SaH dub

Ep 7

-Bad voice acting strikes again!! They just can’t get it right

-They made Goseum a girl, #feminism???

-Please…Please stop using the same track over and over again I KNOW YOU HAVE DIFFERENT MUSIC PLEASE USE IT

-Drowing your enemies! You know, for kids!!!

-AGAIN WHY ARENT THEY CENSORING GEUM STABBING A GUY???

-They made Geum straight </3 this is so sad

-They talk about freedom so much…You are not the wolves Geum, you are no freedom loving American!!

-Also…Giving Geum a backstory of “oh I enrolled in the military with her blah blah blah” feels weird, ig just cuz im used to his regular backstory

-Everytime I hear Mul’s voice in this I wanna kill myself it’s so fucking irritating like HOW DO YOU MAKE IT THAT BAD??

-“You kidnapped me for no good reason!” Like theres a GOOD reason to kidnap someone???

-Geum is a TERRIBLE liar in this, how the hell is he staying undercover??

-Goseum being a badass girlboss is pretty cool tho ngl

-Even here Jogjebi is like “Geum is my bestie he would never hurt meee”

-Goseum is only good voice actor in this whole show

-“I wanna shoot something!” Lmao

-“What is he talking abt” EVEN THEYRE CONFUSED

-THEY TOOK THE HOMOEROTICISM OUT OF THE GOSEUM-GEUM BOUQUET SCENE I HATE THIS

-AGAIN WITH THEY JUST CUT TO THE CREDITS??

-Also I’m rewatching some of these in 2x speed and it’s…Very Very funny but it also makes me see how slow paced the dub makes everything feel, in the original the slow pace works but the dub just fucks it up in a way that I can’t really describe

Ep 8

-“My boy!” They are so father-soncore

-Again the untranslated Korean, 4kids was able to at least remove Japanese text why can’t you?

-This is NOT a battle of wills everyone here is dumb as rocks

-Geum im so sorry they dont know your character like I do </3

-I do like aekkus voice in this ngl…

-Mul is ALWAYS having a bad day NO MATTER WHAT!!

-“I promise well stop acting stupid”

They are all so brothercore in this too I do like it ngl

-“Well if you say so” THAT QUICKLY??

-The way they cut to the next scene is insane…

-The quality shifts is insane

-END AT AN APPROPRIATE TIME FOR ONCE

Ep 9

-Oh god the Goseumdochi death ep…

-Rodia’s voice is different AND bad wtf…Why did they ruin the only good voice actor

-Beautiful sound effects…Don’t you just love the horrible mixing of everything?

-“Oh no, its broken” you sound SO devastated Rodia

-Dan green once again explains what’s happening on screen

-They removed a lot of context for this too

-NO SONG EITHER :(

-“Without weaponry” EXCUSE ME??? HAVE YOU MET GOSEUMDOCHI??

-“Fight for freedom” things Geum would never say

-Again with the quality shifts…

-“You talking to me little rat??” iconic

-Terror? He’s barely done shit!!

Ep 10

-JOEY WHEELER?? FROM YUGIOH???

-JUL! Time for the “were brothers!” Censorship!

-His voice….I dont like it….

-NOT THIS MUSIC—

-Not the running sounds 😭

-Bad video quality strikes again

-Again no translation of korean text

-Not the yellow filter coming back with a vengeance 😭

-Now daramis a girl??? Transgenderism…omg

Overall they suck, had some funny moments tho so ykyk, rlly recommend watching it on 2x speed makes it WAY more tolerable

[radskull-69]

TERRY ANN, HUMANITY CO (AI) SONG!

Everything was made by ai minus the lyrics, I take no credit!

LYRICS!

[Verse] Overworked and terrified, you’re overreacting!

what’s got you so worried?

Well, the boss is up to something and the ai is acting up!

Fuck this, I’ve had enough, now go clock out.

Your shift is done, not gonna acknowledge all this burn out

You wanna leave! You’re going to cry! Just go through the doors and you’re gonna be fine!

Uh oh..

How am I back at my desk…?

[Verse 2] Headphones on, dials and wires! Mind trapped in files, my anxiety fires!

I can’t escape this office job! Stuck looking at computer screens, coffee spills and lost files

It’s a miracle you can’t hear my screams!

Input commands, don’t talk back I can’t remember when I last seen the sun! My head is overwhelmed with static!

Wheres all the Humanity!?

Screens flash danger, can’t cut back and run. I pray someone finds a way out

[Chorus] Cycle spinning, clock never stops Cogs in the madness, anxiety drops Trapped in the circuit, nowhere to go Digital prison, heart's too slow

[Verse 3] Breakroom break-ins, secrets they keep Humans, machines, i’m in too deep Can’t trust the gossip, the walls got ears Paranoid heartbeat, I’ve got programmed fears

[Bridge] Can’t leave, can’t die, circuits closed tight.. someone tell pal to stop glaring at me!

Endless data streams, coding through the night. I can’t hear myself think over these computer keys!

Digitized nightmare, heart full of static Panic mode on, life mode on automatic!

I can’t trust myself, I need a way out, I just hope they finally let go of meee!

God knows they won’t let me quit…

[Chorus] Cycle spinning, clock never stops Cogs in the madness, anxiety drops Trapped in the circuit, nowhere to go Digital prison, heart's too slow

Headphones on, dials and wires! Mind trapped in files, my anxiety fires!

I can’t escape this office job! Stuck looking at computer screens, coffee spills and lost files

It’s a miracle you can’t hear my screams!

Input commands, don’t talk back I can’t remember when I last seen the sun! My head is overwhelmed with static!

Wheres all the Humanity!?

[chorus] Where’s all your humanity!?

These AI’s be acting too familiar to me.

Holding my briefcase tight, don’t wanna be here but I’m in too deep! Gonna cry if I don’t do this right!

Where’s all the humanity!?

[verse 4] I’m ripping out my hair trying to finish this work, gonna have an attack before I even make it to the desk

Got jitters and my fears taking over every room, coding to keep them happy. Just smile and try not to think hard about how they trapped me

I don’t wanna be here I just wanna go home! Back to mom, my farm and all my Froyos

I don’t belong here in this suit and tie, mom please answer my calls I’m gonna fucking cry

Headphones on, dials and wires! Mind trapped in files, my anxiety fires

I can’t escape this office job Stuck looking at computer screens, coffee spills and lost files

Why can’t you hear my screams?

[tundraghost]

【 INFO / ABOUT 】

I've been meaning to make of of these forever, just never actually did it. Anyhow, thanks for checking out my stuff! I like to draw feral animals, dragons, creatures etc, and Pokemon characters mainly. Sometimes a wild anime picture will enter the scene but it's rare nowadays

Under the cut is links to my other accounts! The dividers are made by @/bernardsbendystraws

【 QUICK FAQ 】

Can I use your art as a profile picture or banner? — Sure, I'd appreciate a little line of credit somewhere if you do though <3

Can I repost your art? — I'd prefer if you didn't. I have socials on most regular sites so the piece your looking for is probably there, and it would be better if you liked/retweeted/reblogged/etc it there

Can I DM you? — Yes! Just be kind

【 LINKS 】

❄️ Personal Tumblr

Where I reblog the silly videos and cute bird photos + a ton of other stuff that I'm into

❄️ Flight Rising Tumblr

Dedicated to the dragon hell browser game, Flight Rising! I queue fan content and make my own posts there sometimes

❄️ Flight Rising Page

In case anyone wants to friend meee

❄️ DeviantArt

Another art gallery that I use, most of the stuff I post on this Tumblr gets posted here eventually

❄️ Twitter

I post art here too, but it's my least-used site

❄️ FurAffinity

If it's animal related it gets posted here. Eventually I might keep any anthro drawings I make solely on there too idk yet

❄️ ArtFight

My characters are a mess but I love to try and participate in AF each year if I can

【 INTERESTS 】

In case you’re curious about the type of media I like and the probable art content you’ll see!

Pokemon (esp Mystery Dungeon)

Monster Hunter

Resident Evil

Flight Rising

Mythical creatures

Animals

Birds

Monster girls/boys

Fantasy Life

Animal Crossing

Hades

Cult of the Lamb

The Witch and the Hundred Knight

Pressure (the Roblox game)

[zumpietoo]

Errmm....while this does quickly descend into batshit (cuz, again, Barfie isn’t endgame, etc....), and I’d say poor Jug was to Slizzy a placeholder, but “second choice” isn’t applicable.....and doesn’t really matter....

However, yes, she DID throw him away.....there’s no question there....cuz, the hilarious part in this? Slizzy’s shitty trash and always was.....so no cloo why she’s the prize each of them is so obsessed with....

Errmm....they were together for the entirety of season 6, culminating in an engagement, they were also essentially “together” on some level, for much of season 5----and, if you’re real about it? They started a deep emotional affair at the beginning of season TWO....

I hate Barfie, but it’s always been a thing...

Umm....dude? It IS what happened. Your “argument” is baffling, scarystarey, so now shit didn’t happen cuz peeps had a sad? Okaaayyyyy.....

And for you two? Umm....you should also go look at what YOU post...

Umm....dudes? Barfie’s canon, in every iteration, currently: depending on what’s returned to, we have:

A) Fuccbuddies about to try something moar serious

B) Engaged

C) Dullard HS sweethearts, with a side of pervy predatory in the mix.....

The show would have to go back, honestly, to moar like early season 4 (at the latest) to make jizzy work, etc, again....because most of season 4 turned into Slizzy seeking excuses to be a cheater....and then lying and then not bothering herself. Literally, it was the season where she shifted from emotionally cheating entitled hypocrite to just “fullbore selfish asshole”.

And I’M just convinced Snorty’s sending these to herself for attention...

TBF....MM has on a wedding ring, so I suspect it’s Pinkle wedding (or Gossip Clay?)---also, even if it IS “prom”, doubt it’ll be remotely epic, etc....cuzzz lammmmeeeee....but I think Slizzy enjoyed prom previously...and, again, so the Barfie is merely confirming that Slizzy was supremely unappreciative/not good enough for Jughead, so fine by meee....

Ummm.....that’s not what “star-crossed” means, either, Snorty....shouldn’t your fanfic writing/college edumacated ass know that?

Uhhh....sheepbrain? You’re the one who hates a stranger for dumping your fave, thus costing you a teevee ship (oh and smoking, OFC, the ultimate evvollll), his current GF of 2 1/12 years for “being in the way” and anybody (i.e. yours truly) for daring to not hate him.....I think the “whacky” (no “h”) and “crazy” would be youuuu....

Can you imagine A) doing the above, like sheepbrain or B) sending these to yourself, Snorty? Cuzz.....

Jizzy won’t be erased, but “topped”? Errmmmm I hate Barfie, too, but it is a thing. Also, again, who knew it was a competition?

Oh yes, Snorty....and don’t forget, write bad fanfic.....dude, you live in the past. And while they’ll also be, they’ll only be there in the past, with you. And, again pretend....

Errmmm....Barfie IS canon, so not getting that.

Ummm.....seasons 5 and 6 very heavily pandered towards them. I think the ones “watching with that attitude” (lolz, WTF????) and hating half the show so passionately are yourselves....again, we didn’t “get 4 seasons.....we had one short, amazing one, then they were split for most of 2 (with Slizzy as an elitist, lying cuntwipe), together, but seldom interacting in season 3, largely separating, with lying, cheating Slizzy in season 4. And almost always using Jug as a placeholder, taking him granted, claiming credit for his accomplishments...

It’s not the serve YOU think it is....

And what “dropped storylines” afterwards? The ones you made up in fanfic/pretended Slizzy was Tabs?

Umm....no, Snorty, they legit HAD this last season. YOU’RE pressed because you know jizzy isn’t happening ever again....and you trusted RAS, too, so, again, glass houses?

Uhh....also, again, #hey#3????

Uhhh.....scarystarey, see above. Same applies to jizzy. AND Barfie WERE together all of season 6, so noooo....and I’d say you’re responding with VASTLY moar than a “blank stare and a shrug”....Again, dude, season 4 was NOT a jizzy season....nor, until well past the mid-point, was season TWO....and thanks to PP’s cheating/endlessly splitting up, they barely had screen time in season 3.

uhhhh.....Snorty??? Go do that rewatching....and then tell me what you see!

Nah, just BAV endgame.....also, you guys are the ones predicting they go “back in time thru the mines in season 5″----all so it’s before Jug kissed a black lady..and now think that happens in the finale. With jizzy fully reconciling, too.

I mean, she was instantly preggers (and knew it) by basically raping Douchie in the Vale, so, you know.....plus, again, no moar bizarro than YOUR theories....

Scarystarey, it’s Snorty, herself.....

Wait....weren’t y’all the ones insisting they “block film” now? Plus it’s 13 days and counting.....and one would tend to imagine the finale will take a bit longer to film, so, yeah....they’re quite likely on ep 20, now....

[emperornero]

alright. you win . are you satisfied

[this isnt super serious and i dont fully "kin" anything its more like finding something relatable in characters/things etc.]

more under the cut

1. gregor samsa. yes the beetle kafka guy. because im a beautiful giant bug and if i was in this guy's situation i would be extatic and live my life as a weird beetle. im built different 👍fortunatelly i havent started a family yet and I dont have a job so that wouldnt be a problem lol . image credit: some cover art for this book i had saved since 2021 idk

2. wayne hylics ! when the moon hits your eyes that. bombo-genesis . you died sorry. i always liked wayne and how carefree and laid back he is despite being on a mission of saving the world or whatever. who wouldnt want to be this guy. also little waynes are larvas which makes my bug side ever happier. image credit: hylids

3. andre delambre / the fly from. the fly 1958. IM A BUG CAN YOU TELL ALREADY . i watched the fly remake when i was a little kid and it did something to my brain. but i prefer this version because no gore no body horror yayy also i love this movie so much ..

4. the batter from OFF by mortis ghost. knew about this guy for a long time but i actually only played OFF last year but hoooly shit . not putting spoilers if you dont know the game but. its a good game play the game. image credit: mortis ghost

5.ITS ME hi its nero . more specifically not any specific "version" of nero but more like. The concept of nero. this makes no sense but just trust me its not like i believe im a historical figure im like some version of him im me its emperornero.tumblr.com. image credit: l0lbi3z [made for meee ]

6. the[odore] noise from pizza tower . WOAG. silly guy gets silly also ilook like him irl when hes in a normal outfit. scarey. image credit: horologiiiumart

7. blaziken from pokemon. not any specific blaziken just overall the species. image credit: official tcg art

8. axolotl[s] from real life. beautiful animals i wish i was them

9. airbus a380 from real life. yes the airplane . you will never understand and its ok. love you. image credit: planeyboys

[hanniiesuckle17]

Masterlist

A/n: we love committing to something right before the busy season of my job and starting labs for my major.

Tag List: @mini-meanhoe​ @leggomylino​ @hanstagram​ @desertofdessert​ @hoes4hoseok​ @jeonqqin​ @mrsunshine999​ @jisungsjheekies​ @hannie-squirrel00​ @cotccotc​ @yangs-jeongin​ @binniebutter​ @orangegyu​ @little-precious-baby​ @raethethey​ @sofie296​ @love-letters-2-jisungie​ @bluejayboys​​

SMIY Tag List: @sanccharine

Pairing: Jeong Yunho x Reader    

Genre: Series, Fluff, Angst, Comedy, Idol au, Secret Relationship

Updates: Completed

Warnings: Cursing, Privacy Invasion, Dieting, Overworking, 18+Themes (eventually)

Summary: Privacy. Normalcy. Love. Y/n was ready to give all of that up when she became an idol. She was more than happy with the absence of those qualities in her life until a certain six foot mountain of sunshine and chaos was cast opposite her in her first drama. Confronted with the fact that she no longer knows what she wants; Y/n must decide if he’s truly worth giving up the life she’s dreamed of…and how much damage she’ll let happen before she makes a decision.

✭  

Profiles Part One (Ateez)

Profiles Part Two (JINXX)

1. Pointy Elbows

2. Spit Fire

3. The Water Bottle

4. This Behemoth

5. The Uncle From Guam

6. Sunbae (🖋)

7. Bro

8. Stupid Goof Fuck

9. Finally Now It’s My Time

10. Playing Hooky (🖋)

11. I Made This Awkward   (🖋)

12. 82.4%?

13. Big Ass SAT Word

14. Battle of Lockscreens

15. Genius Idea

16. Boss Bitch

17. Best Friend’s Brother

18. Taeyong

19. Come Eat Meee

20. SEONGHWA HYUNG

21: Addicted

22. @ bby_yn Stan Account

23. Seatmates

24. Hongjoong the Wise Old Tree

25. Screw Reincarnation (🖋)

26. Glitter, Orgasms, and Self Esteem

27. Don’t Look At Other Oppas

28. Green Eyed Monster

29. Alexa, Play Now or Never

30. Subtweeting

31. Not A Total Lie

32. You’ve Got to Be Fucking Kidding Me

33. Fuck You, Hobbit

34. Matz Wine Time

35. Horny Song (title tbd)

36: Progress Not Perfection

37. Shadow in the Night

38. The Tour Fairy

39. You Do Drugs????

40. Queer Baiting

41. 15 Hours

42. Something With Tequila

43. Girly Pop

44. What’s The Point Of Knocking (🖋)

45. Playground Dating

46. 4 Days, 3 Hours, and 27 Minutes

47. Feet Pics

48. Melon Head

49. Himbo Agenda

50. Fan War

51. Cyber Bullied

52. This Bitch

53. Sugar Baby

54. Concerned in Swidish

55. 6 Million Punching Bags

56. Exposed (🖋)

57. Grapes

58. The Truth

59. Suteki

60. Big Biggie

61. Not Your Fandom

62. Missed Calls

63. I’m Outside🖤

64. How Does This Make You Feel?

65: Yeosang’s Credit Card

66. Ice Cream

67. Mister Monster

68. The Universe is a Masochist

69. Unbiased But Not Really (🖋)

70. Boca Boca

71. Choo Choo

72. Meme War

73. Dipshit

74. Xanax

75. Special Kind of Joy

76. 💛

77. My Knees (Finale)

[kurisupersonalblog]

Why Sakura Nagashi is from Shinji’s POV  (Feelings for Kaworu and Grief)

Sakura Nagashi is the song that plays in the Rebuild 3.33 credits, the song starts to play in the end, when Asuka forces Shinji to walk, and with them is Rei

and also, there's a cover of Sakura Nagashi by Megumi Ogata, the Japanese voice actress of Shinji 

a very curious thing is that in the cover of Megumi Ogata, playing in the background we have a piano (instrument that Kaworu plays) and a cello (instrument that Shinji plays)

The song talks about grief, pain and the desire to have someone back, in case of this song really represents the feelings of a character, the only one I can think of, is Shinji.

Stopping to analyze the whole context of Rebuild 3.33, what was the character that was sad and devastated by the death of someone? that's right, Shinji

This song, in my opinion, talks about Shinji's feelings after Kaworu's death

if you want to listen the song with english lyrics, you can listen here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dq0YZGjB5cI 

and the Megumi Ogata cover: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kLHrirpuYtI 

(and pls guys, listen the version of the japanese voice actress of Shinji,is basically, Shinji crying and singing.. is so beautiful and sad)

Analyzing the lyrics

1.  “ Watching flowers just blossomed fall, “too early, this year” you said in disappointment, regret ”

Ok, if the song is about Shinji's perspective and feelings, so in this part of "Too early this year" is Kaworu speaking... then Kaworu may be referring not only to the falling flowers, but to the time they spent together, which unfortunately went very fast

 2. “If you could see me now, i wonder what you would think, me, living without you”

This hurts and totally defines what Shinji may be feeling after Kaworu's death 

maybe he must be thinking what Kaworu would think if he saw that "me” Shinji turned after Kaworu’s death, someone (like in EOE) is sad, hopeless, feeling guilty, grieving ... and most likely, wanting to die

3. “If you could hear the newborn’s cry, sound and healthy, Ringing in the town you protected, i know you would be so pleased”

This part seemed to me Shinji talking about Kaworu's sacrifice in 3.33, at the moment when everything went wrong, Kaworu preferred to die in order to save humanity, and this part seemed to me very much Shinji talking about it, how happy Kaworu would be if he were alive and seeing these little happy things

4. “Everybody finds love, in the end”

At first I didn't really know how to analyze this part of the song, but after my Kawoshin friend, Diko, explained to me her interpretation of that part, everything made sense

When people listen to this song for the first time, they think that "everybody finds love in the end" means that consequently, everyone finds love in the end, but it doesn't really mean that, she said some things very important here:

“ First of all, this is broken up into two lines. Utada Hikaru could have just sung it all in one single sentence "Everybody finds love in the end." << THIS is how I feel the audience is reading into the lyric: "Oh cool that's uplifting. Eventually, everyone finds love in the end, right?" NO. This changes the meaning and tone of the chorus. Go back on Youtube or Spotify, and listen to her singing it:

“Everybody fiiiiinds loooooveee...”

THERE IS A PAUSE BEFORE SHE SAYS

"...in the end....in the end..."

The tone in her voice SHIFTS from being happy, to being much more solemn.

In the poetry and lyrically written world, this term is called "Enjambment." It's supposed to be *a single thought separated by two different feelings or tones, broken up into two lines for emphasis*

So when she is saying "Everybody finds love" she is comforted by the thought that the person who is singing this song has FOUND a love, but when she says "...in the end," with her sad tone, she is reminded they are no longer there with her, she found love in the end when it was *too late to even blossom,* like the sakura. ”

Is not “Everybody finds love in the end”, is “Everybody finds love..... in the end...”

This part means that Shinji found love, but it was in the end... it was late, because now, the person that he loved, died.

5. “ I can’t believe that I’ll never see you again, i haven’t told you anything yet, i haven’t told you anything yet! ”

Of the whole song, this part is for sure the one that breaks my heart the most, I can't even describe all the emotional charge that this part of the song has, I can totally imagine Shinji thinking something like that, but let's analyze the sentence a little

Kaworu died, Kaworu sacrificed himself for humanity in the ending of 3.33 and Shinji couldn't say anything, he had so much to say, he hasn't said anything yet Now he don’t have time to say anything, it’s too late, but... what's so important that he didn't even tell Kaworu??

what does this " I haven't told you anything yet " really mean?

does he refer to his feelings about Kaworu? romantic feelings?

This part reminds me that in NGE, Shinji can never say "I love you too" to Kaworu, he never had the opportunity to show or talk about his love to Kaworu because of all the events

this happens in NGE and also in 3.33, Shinji was unable to talk about his feelings for Kaworu

He can never say anything about his love for Kaworu, because Kaworu always ends up dying, both in anime and in Rebuild,  He hasn't told Kaworu anything about how he feels towards Kaworu. 

 So.. is this "I haven't told you anything yet" can be the "I love you" ?

and well, the analysis ends here.

The last part of the song is  “ No matter how frightening it is, I won't look away, if there is love at the end of everything. “

but the problem is.. i really don’t know what this part means serious guys, i don’t have any idea about what that part of the song means, I really can't really analyze what that part means, it's basically the only positive and joyful part of this song 

but for now, I can't think about what it means if you have any interpretation, pls tell meee, but thank you guys for read this <3

[sarcastically-defensive17]

ahhh 25 and 12 or 6 with calum hood please!!

I AM SO SO SO SORRH RHAT THIS TOOK SO LONG I HAD A SUPER LONG HIATUS FOR PERSONAL REASONS AND I HOPE YOURE STILL INTERESTED AND NOT MAD AT MEEE 🥺LOVE YOU AND THANK YOU FOR REQUESTING YOU ABSOLUTE ANGEL LOVIEEE

Help me - C. Hood

6: “Shh, you’re safe. I won’t let you go.”

12: “N-no, it’s alright, come here.”

25: “Please talk to me about it.”

GIF is not mine

TW: DEPICTIONS OF DOMESTIC ABUSE/ ABUSE BY A PARENT. MENTIONS OF BLOOD AND WOUNDS, GRAPHIC DEPICTION OF FAMILIAL VIOLENCE, SELF-LOATHING THEMES AND PHYSICAL INJURY.

If this content can potentially trigger you, please do not read. Your mental and physical health is important, so please, take care of yourself. My inbox is always open.

Original story by sarcastically-defensive17

Please do not copy, reproduce or repost without credit or in a manner than removes my username, and/or ownership from the work. Stealing isn’t cool, peeps.

<><><><><>

Not much was known about Y/N. In the entire school, she was the enigma. She had her friends, she was average in her classes, but still, her personal life was kept out of the general knowledge of the student body. Even the teachers knew little about the girl.

Her parents would come to every interview, every ceremony. She would go on trips, she would join in on the fun. She even attended the two week camp they held last semester, and it was the happiest that anybody had seen her.

Calum often watched the girl. He could see how her smile would drop when nobody was looking, how she would constantly flinch whenever anybody would raise a hand or wave an arm around her. He observed her more often than not, as stalkerish as that made him sound.

He was friends with the girl. They shared English and Math and some of the same friends. He enjoyed speaking to her, he loved to see her smile - genuinely smile.

He couldn’t deny the growing feelings he had for her. She was intelligent and kind, her smile could knock the breath out of him, and had done so many times. He seemed to lose all train of thought around her and the feeling was addictive. He had no idea if she felt the same, but he felt his own emotions grow tenfold every time she placed her hand on his arm, or offered her assistance when he was unsure about something, or simply when she laughed at a horrible joke that slipped from his lips.

She was angelic and he couldn’t put his finger on why such a beautiful person could look so skittish at a sudden movement.

He had his suspicions but he knew better than to pry.

However, his mind couldn’t be set at ease when they were placed into a group together. Their due date for their English project was impending, and as his mother was working from home, he chose not to offer his residence for the pair to gather.

“So, your house?” He was waiting by her car at the end of the day, unnoticed by Y/N as she rushed to her vehicle in the same manner she always did. She hadn’t expected him to be there, so when his voice travelled to her ears she couldn’t help but flinch and shy away. He frowned softly at her, “you okay?”

She blinked, tilting her head to look at him. “Excuse me?” Her keys were clasped tightly in her hands and her gaze kept flicking between her door and Calum.

He chose not to focus on the tension she held in her body. “The project?” He reminded her. “It’s due in two weeks and if we keep showing up with nothing done, Stone will be on our asses until we graduate.” He snorted, the sound bringing a small smile to Y/N’s face.

“I, um, I don’t think my house is a good idea,” her voice was soft - fragile. “Wouldn’t it be easier to do it during study? I can’t be out too late.”

“All of my study’s are designated to soccer practice, sorry,” he pursed his lips, pushing off of her car. “I would offer my place but I think my mum would genuinely murder me. She’s working from home and my sister is in the process of taking over all available space in the house with her loser friends.”

Y/N seemed to think over it for a minute. She knew that it would be a bad idea to have Cal come over, but she had no choice. She sighed, nails working carefully to pick at the skin around her cuticles - a bad habit she had adopted.

“Alright,” she nodded. “Hop in, just, there are rules you need to follow, okay?”

“Yes ma’am,” he smirked, pulling the drivers side door open for her when the lock mechanism clicked open.

Her heart pounded in her chest the whole way home. The mere sight of the two story residence made her feel queasy on a regular day, but the upbeat boy sitting beside her made the thought of being at home much worse. She put the car in park, turning to Calum.

Her eyes rarely met his, he noticed.

“Um, you can’t be here after 5. My parents get home around then and they don’t really like visitors.” She pulled her keys from the ignition, clamping her eyes shut for a brief moment. Sure, Calum was her friend - he was a great guy, and Y/N genuinely enjoyed his presence - but she couldn’t shake the feeling that having him at her house would end horribly. “No shoes inside, we need to stay in the dining room and please, if you use the bathroom, put the toilet seat down.”

She didn’t invite people over for a reason, but she dropped the desire to have friends over when her home began to break more. Y/N could barely remember a time when she fell asleep to anything but the sound of expletives, breaking glass or pure aggression.

Instead of questioning the barrage of instruction as she would expect, Calum simply fixed her with a warm smile, “Your wish is my command.”

She had long wished for her parents to go their separate ways strictly to save her from the fear that enveloped her the minute she stepped foot inside, however, she knew it fruitful because she couldn’t go anywhere but with one of them, and even when apart, they were harmful.

Calum followed her rigid form into the house, kicking his shoes off and placing them on the designated racking as instructed. The house was in pristine condition. It was as if there were no life in the environment unless a human was present - it felt cold.

The house was so different from his own. His mother had made sure to hang photos of both him and his sister, pictures from family outings, vacations. His father bought his mother flowers regularly and they always sat on the kitchen counter. His sister even had her own little belongings in the family areas as did he. Y/N’s house had nothing. There was not even a picture of her with her parents. The house was near void of any sort of familial comfort that it made him feel uncomfortable.

He followed her into the dining room, waiting for instruction. The atmosphere put him incredibly on edge and he could feel that there were many rules to be followed to perfection in the house.

Y/N pulled her bag open, placing her books on the table before stashing the bag into a designated nook in the entry way. The table caught his eye. Only two chairs. Both her parents lived with her, but there were only two chairs.

She returned, taking a seat at the small round table. Her eyes darted nervously to a clock mounted on the wall before softening and focusing on Calum’s standing form.

“Take a seat?” She offered. “We have just over an hour and a half until my parents get home.”

He nodded, slumping down in the seat and retrieving his own items for their project.

The time flew by quickly, it seemed. Calum’s presence was warm and he shone like a beacon in the barren home. She could barely take her eyes off of him for fear that he too would burn out like all who have entered before him.

If she could, she would have captured the moment in its entirety, preserving it for the lypophrenic moments that visit her almost nightly.

She was in the process of laughing at a joke that slipped from Calum’s lips when her eyes absentmindedly crossed over to the wall clock.

It was 3 minutes past 5.

Calum needed to leave. Fast.

She was on her feet, face paleing and her hands working to slam the books in front of her closed. She needed Calum gone and she needed to be in her room before either of them got home.

Calum raised an eyebrow at her, following her movements with caution. “What’s wrong, Y/N?”

“You need to go,” she was breathless despite the meager activity. It wasn’t the actions that made her breath escape, it was fear. She knew what would happen if either of her parents arrived home. She knew what would happen if they saw she was in the dining room, or if she had company. Nevermind if that company was a male.

“Oh, sorry,” he smiled softly, helping her clean. “The time sorta slipped away from us. It’s only a few past 5, I’m sure your parents will understand-“

He was cut off as she shoved his books against his chest, “they can’t know that you were ever here.” She felt horrible for rushing him out; almost as horrible as she felt for her lack of hospitality, but she needed him to go. She couldn’t bear the consequences.

She handed him his shoes, opening the front door and pushing him out. His expression was full of confusion and for an instance she thought she saw hurt flash in his whiskey coloured eyes but her state of anxiety was growing and she couldn’t bring herself to react.

“Sorry about going overtime. I’ll see you-“ the door slammed in his face, footsteps hurrying away from the wooden barrier almost exactly after, “- tomorrow?” He finished dejectedly, slipping his shoes on and starting down the path to his house.

He lived in close proximity to Y/N, but the walk did little to quell the hurt in his chest.

Y/N rushed around as soon as the door was closed. She needed to clean everything up in the dining room before one of them got home, but her efforts were fruitless.

A few minutes after she rudely shoved Calum away, she heard an engine die in the front yard. The door opened carefully and closed very soon after. The sound of heels on the floorboards alerted her to the fact that her mother was home. She was in perfect view, still trying to clean away any evidence that she inhabited the dining room.

“What the hell have you done to my house?” Her mother hissed, the sound of keys being thrown onto the hall table bouncing off of the walls, setting the hairs on the back of Y/N’s neck on edge.

Y/N felt her shoulders flinch, acting on their own accord. “I’m sorry, mum. I just felt like studying down here today-“

Her mother was next to her within seconds, cold eyes scanning over every item in the room. “This is a pig sty!” She growled, despite the only objects out of the ordinary being y/N’s textbook, a single pen and a bottle of water. “I go to work, busting my ass to pay for things you need and this is the thanks I get?”

The laughter that fell from the older woman gave Y/N goosebumps. Both of her parents were vindictive and nasty, but her mother was the worse of the two. Quick with her hands, nastier with her words. She has once thrown a plate at Y/N because she dared to ask to add salt to her dinner.

Her father, on the other hand, was a drunk who would prefer to scream insults at his daughter and wife for anything. Despite this, y/n had less fear of the patriarch.

Y/N stayed quiet, too frightened to say anything or to even move to finish cleaning. Her mother didn’t like that and wound her hand in Y/N’s hair, gazing down at her with malice as she yanked her head back violently.

“You ungrateful little brat!” She growled. “You were the worst thing to happen to me, yet I still feed you, and clothe you and keep you here while you sick the life from me like the parasite you are, and this is how you repay me?”

Tears welled in Y/N’s eyes as she struggled against her mother’s hand, “Mum, mum please,” she pleaded. “You’re hurting me.”

“You hurt me every day that you’re still here, it’s the least I can do to repay the favour.”

Y/N grabbed her mother’s hand, attempting to pry it away from her hair, but in the process, her nail scratched her mother’s hand.

Y/N didn’t realise until she was knocked to the ground after a force connected with her cheek. Her head connected with the floor boards, blood quickly spilling from her brow and her lip and cheek throbbing.

“Don’t you ever touch me again, you little bitch!” Her mother screamed in her face, cradling her barely wounded hand like she would a baby.

Y/N struggled on the floor, slowly trying to climb to her feet despite the ache spreading through the left side of her face. She shuffled back, hoping to get closer to the hall so she could get up to her room. Her mother had other plans.

The sound of the cupboard door opening was evident and Y/N barely pushed her disheveled hair from her eyes to see a glass hurtling towards her, connecting with the wall next to her.

The sound was near ear-piercing, a few glasses catching her arms and shredding the skin in various places. Crash after crash - she finally ran out of glasses, starting to move to the next cupboard.

Y/N took the opportunity to get to her feet and run. Her feet carried her to the door, and she was thankful that she always kept we car keys on her person for fear of moments like this.

Her mother called out expletives behind her, but she didn’t bother to turn, instead allowing her body to act on its own volition, climbing into her car and pulling out of the drive as fast as she could.

Her vision was blurring, tears staining the clarity of her sight. Her hands were shaking so ferociously that she could feel the muscles in her shoulders twitching. Her mind was anywhere but the road, but it felt like she moved between destinations so fast, barely paying mind to the road in front of her until she pulled up at a park in the next suburb.

Her fingers worked on the screen of her phone, acting of their own volition until a voice was sounding through the speaker into Y/N’s ear.

“Y/N?” The voice asked, confused, anxious even.

“I’m at the park, on Macquarie Street. I need help.”

To anybody outside, Y/N would have been a terrifying sight. Blood pouring down her face, starting at her brow, a bruise forming quickly on her left cheek, a slight swell misshaping her lip and cuts all over her arm with their own trails of blood.

For Calum, his heart near stopped when he saw her sat on a park bench with her knees pulled to her chest. The sight was a beat more than terrifying. There were no more tears in her eyes, but her cheeks were wet with recent drops. She was staring out into the green landscape as if she no longer inhabited her body. The sun was starting to set behind her.

It took all of his willpower not to rush towards her, simply so he didn’t spook her. She was as rigid as a scared animal, any sudden sounds causing her to flinch.

“Y/N?” He tried softly, stepping cautiously. Her bleary eyes shifted towards him slowly, looking down at his feet before settling into his eyes. Her face shifted into a small smile as she locked onto the warm brown. “What happened?”

With his words, the semblance of a smile dropped. She frowned deeply, a dimple forming softly on her chin before a sob ripped through her chest. Her breathing heaved her body, rocking aggressively as she poured the emotion onto her knees once again. He walked to her faster, resting a hand on her knee and the other on her head.

“Y/N?” She shook his hands off, flinching away from his touch. “Y/N, baby? What happened? Please talk to me about it.”

She gasped, knees unfurling from her near iron grip. She knew the feeling well, it being her third panic attack since she left her home - not her home - the place she used to live. She couldn’t go back there.

Calum knew the signs. He had helped Michael through many attacks before and he acted beyond thought as he sunk to his knees before her, kneeling between her opened legs. His fingers moved to the side of her face gently, as to not cause her any more fear.

The tears had halted again, but she could barely catch her breath. He pulled her head down into his chest, thankful that with his added height against the small park bench, it was not so much of an awkward angle for the frightened girl.

It took all of 2 minutes for her breathing to balance. It was a trick he learned long ago - sometimes physical contact could help Michael with his attacks, and it had proven to be helpful to Y/N.

The silence that followed was pregnant as she rested her head against him. Her fingers had clasped so tightly in his hoodie that he could barely move until she loosened her grip. Slowly, she began to peel her body away from him.

“I- I’m sorry. There’s blood everywhere. I’ll let you go,” she sniffed, her voice airy as she tried to relax her muscles.

“N-no, Y/N,” he stood slowly, choosing to sit next to her instead of on the ground in front of her. “It’s alright, come here. Only if you want to.” He held his arm out, allowing her to make her decision. Slowly, and cautiously, she moved towards him, seeking the comfort of his soft hoodie and his warmth. She let out a shaky breath as she settled in to him. He shushed her softly, moving his arm to loop around her back slowly. “It’s alright, you’re safe, darling. I won’t let you go.”

She mumbled a soft “thank you,” wrapping her arms around his waist delicately. Her forehead nestled into his collarbone, allowing the lower portion of her face to be angled so she could resume her breath maintenance.

“Who did this to you, daring?” His voice was soft, his eyes anywhere but the girl below him. The mere sight of her eliciting a burning rage within his chest. Y/N was so pure, so happy. So kind. The thought that anybody would dare to hurt her - to him, it was blasphemy. “What happened after I left?”

“It was my mum,” her words were incredibly faint, yet Calum’s attentive ears heard every syllable. He tightened his arm around her slightly. “It’s not the first time, and it won’t be the last.”

He moved his hands to her shoulders, pulling her off of his chest so that he could survey her face. His fingers were calloused from the strings of his bass, but he made sure to keep his touch featherlight as he ran his finger along her wounded cheek.

It was no, that he finally realized the small scars decorating her eyebrow, her jawline, and even her neck.

“She hurts you?” The thought was unbearable, how could a mother hurt their child in such a way. Y/N was in bad shape, and to know that it was somebody who should love and protect her that did so - he was shaking from fury. “What about your father? Does he-“

“Dads always too drunk to care. He spends his time sucking down beers and verbally abusing us rather than paying attention to the constant crap I get from my mum,” her scoff was full of malice. On the outside, Y/F/N had it all but in reality, her world was a steaming dumpster fire and she spent her time yearning for love. “My parents never wanted me and they have made it obvious. This,” she gestured to her face with a sliced up arm, wincing slightly at the shift of her flesh. “Is because I had stuff in the dining room. Mother prefers I keep my life confined to my bedroom where she can pretend I don’t exist.”

Guilt washed over Calum’s face, “I’m so sorry, Y/N. I shouldn’t have pushed to go to your house.”

“It’s fine, Cal. There was bound to be an issue tonight anyways, it’s just our routine,” she sent him a small smile, eyes full of apology and sadness. “Thank you, for coming to my rescue.”

He let his thumb run across her cheekbone, relishing in the feeling of her skin underneath his palm. “Whenever you call, I’ll be there for you Y/N.” There was nothing in his actions to suggest anything but sincerity, specifically in the way his eyes lingered on hers for a second longer than normal. “You can’t go back there, darling.”

Her head hung slightly. She had nowhere to go but there. Of all of her friends, not one of them would take her in and her closest family was out of state. She had no options.

“That’s the only place I have,” she smiled at him, a miserable smile, but a reassuring one. “I’ll be okay.”

“Come to my house,” he offered, eyebrows raising slightly, a pleading pout on his lips.

“Cal, I can’t impose-“

“You’re never imposing, Y/N.” His brows furrowed. “I’ll always keep you safe, I promise.”

A sigh left her chest, her breathing smoothing and functioning correctly on its own accord, before she nodded. Fighting against Calum was a losing battle, but she wasn’t entirely against the idea. There was something drawing her in to him. Something that she couldn’t identify. Whether it be the damsel-in-distress complex that she had adopted that night, or the butterflies that erupted in her belly when he held her close, she wanted to go with him. She wanted to be safe in his arms.

So she nodded, smiling small up at him, her fingers reaching up to hold his own that were still resting on her scarred face.

He pressed a kiss to her forehead, a delicate gesture full of comfort and with an inkling of the love that she so desired. “I’ll always protect you, darling.”

Tag list: @starshonerose @mantlereid @killerqueenishere @snookiebrookie @theanswertoeverythingisl0v3 @another-lonely-heart

[angelic-jeonghan1004]

ONEWE reacting to you fanning over different groups

Like I said I'm just in the mood for some ONEWE so if you wanna throw ONEWE requests at me I'll love you forever, I also have a ONEWE reacting to you asking them to teach you how to play an instrument, and reaction to getting the silent treatment both will be vv cute and I'm excited to post. Btw before getting to Kanghyun a thing to note both Kanghyun and Kinos real name are Hyunggu !! I chose a random idol then realized I chose my second Hyunggu so that's funny

Pairing: ONEWE x reader

Genre: Fluff

Warnings: Angst if you squint but you'd need a binocular to see it as angst

Gf credits to rightful owner ✨

Yonghoon

Okay so to start this out with none of them would be mad at you liking a different group

It's the swooning over members that takes too much rent in their mind

For Yonghoon it was your absolute heart eyes at Bomin of Golden Child

He felt comfortable in the relationship

Didn't worry about you leaving him for Bomin

But the smile on your face from Bomin videos gives a pang to his heart that he struggles with

He wants to be the one who makes you smile like that :((

He'll get very pouty when you mention Bomin and very needy

Boy will be hugging you and cuddling up to you

He wants you swooning over him not Bomin

Once you picked the pieces together

Ohhh you clowned him

You couldn't believe your perfect boyfriend, your soulmate if you will,, thought Bomin took more thoughts in your mind to make you happy??

You had to prove him wrong immediately, expressing how you smile at him just being in the room with you

You're absolutely captivated by Bomin yes

But you're even more absolutely in love and whipped for Yonghoon that no idol could compare

Equaling to a happy friendly giant boyfriend

Give this big boy all the love period

Harin

A big baby🥺

Legit after seeing how excited you got over SF9 Rowoon boy got so pouty and sad

He loves you enjoy SF9 but seeing you watch Rowoon fancams his heart hurts a little at your squealing over a "Enough" fancam since he can tell your heart flutters

He also feels comfortable in your relationship he knows you won't leave or love him any less

But what is it about Rowoon that has you so intrigued by him? Was it the dancing?

Harin would think about it so much oh Lord he'd try to learn a SF9 dance for you

But SF9 dances are hard so he was struggling but trying his best he even whent to Dongmyeong for help

When you went to drop him off lunch one time you where confused at the fact he wasn't at his drums but in the dance practice room

You saw him trying his best to learn hide and seek by SF9 prompting you to ask him what made him feel the need to do that

Or if there was some sort of promotion you didn't know of

walking up to him holding his hand saying you brought him lunch

In which he'd be putty in your hands out of sheer love and appreciation for you

He'd crack and express his minor insecurity

Your heart would drop

Even though he said it was nothing serious your boyfriend obviously was a little upset or worried if he learned a dance for you

Hugging him quickly you better make sure to give all your attention to him

Since he deserves all the attention he's been deprived of since you decided to rewatch summer breeze 3 times because of Rowoon in the chorus

Kanghyun (Hyunggu)

My boy okay this could get long

Since as we know I love Kanghyun so much

Legit cried over him yesterday bye-

So he noted quickly that you started taking a liking to Pentagon

Especially Kino (who knew you had a thing for hyunggus)

Watching his covers, listening to his solos, focusing on his part in Daisy from how much you swooned from his voice

Kanghyun enjoyed Pentagon too

He realized your interests peak in Kino quickly

He wasn't sure if he was feeling insecure or just really missed your attention

He decided to get to learning the chords of a Pentagon song to play for you

Deciding on a song he decided to be rambunctious and actually sing instead of being purely guitar, wore a cute kigu, did everything he knew would have your heart melting

Taking notes with Yonghoon he had him look over the cover and he gave much approval

Once Kanghyun edited and posted it he then texted you to check out the latest video

Not uncommon for him to do but you where curious

To say jaws where dropped at that,, legit how cute could he get???

When he came home that day you immediately complimented him on his cover

"Does this mean I get to be your favorite Hyunggu?"

"Wait baby where you jealous??"

Immediate silence I tell you that he's go beat red till he'd start laughing

Give this boy the world pls

Dongmyeong

Again also could get long my bias line always spark something in me that makes me write a mile a minute

So this is the only boy I could see actually getting a lil actually jealous

Since he loves your attention

He is a attention loving boy

So when he hears you call Taeyoung of Cravity your sunshine?

Boy aiNT having it at ALL

Thinking you can call someone else sunshine when he's the definition?

Not sitting right with him no sir

The difference with everyone else v him is he will immediately whine

"y/nnnnn I thought you loved meeee"

"I thought I was your sunshine"

"you know who's also sweet and precious? You're wonderful boyfriend it's meee"

Like he's just be going for it

The only way to solve it is giving him all your attention and kissing him till he shuts up

Since boy will be putty

He will be so happy once he got your attention back

In summary make sure you give your sunshine boyfriend much attention and love and don't call other boys sunshine even if they are since Dongmyeong will be jealous

Cya (Giwook)

Cya got you into The Boyz not knowing how much rent they'd take up in your mind

If he'd known before hand wasn't sure if he would show you his best friends song

Not to be rude or anything !! Just the amount you spend time watching videos of them on RTK or After School Club when you could watch movies and cuddle with Cya??

He really wants his regular affection from you but you get so distracted by TBZ videos

Once you started to find Sunwoo cute tho

Boy would not know what is feeling where

But he did not like it

He wants to be called cute too :((

Your conversations are great but it's not like you compliment him randomly calling him cute like you do Sunwoo

Immediately decides you won't be meeting Sunwoo for quite a lil while doesn't know how to decipher his feeling would probably make a rap about it

I don't think he'd post it to his soundcloud but it's be a draft

So when you too where hanging out one day and you where listening to his unreleased and found that

I think he'd forget it was on that file and be immediately embarrassed

Since it's not like he names people

But he does sound jealous

In which you're quickly putting the dots together like

Baby?? Are you jealous??? Over TBZ?? You know you're my best boy and I'm dating you not them right??

And boy is red

He is ready to throw the thumb drive if it didn't have other songs he really liked on it

After talking about it everything would be chill

A kiss or two to make him feel better wouldn't be bad tho-

[melancholicumsomnia]

[FIC] A Little Miracle In The Volume Part 4

A/N: Here’s Part 4 of my fic contribution to PEDRO PASCAL APPRECIATION WEEK 2021! The #ppaw2021 theme of Day 4 is Favorite pics/videos from Pedro’s IG or Twitter. I love any pic of Pedro with Oscar Isaac, but I love these two the most (the first one coming from Pedro’s IG).

Again many thanks to @pedrohub​ for PPAW and to @pedrocentric​ for patiently hearing this frustrated writer’s complaints about the plotting and writing process. 

PREVIOUS PARTS

Part 1

Part 2 

Part 3

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A Little Miracle In The Volume

By

Rory

Part Four

Oscar was having a strange dream as he slept in his bed in Brooklyn. It had started out quite beautifully in fact – there he was, walking in a field of sunflowers, with the sun shining down on his head. Suddenly, he heard a loud buzzing noise, coming from a short distance away from him. His eyes grew wide as a dark cloud rose from those blossoms. To his even greater horror, that cloud began to head his way.

Bees!  

“WHOA!” Oscar cried out as he turned tail and ran for his life. 

But the bee swarm was relentless, following him down the hill and into the woods. In his fear of getting stung, Oscar would whirl back often to see how far the swarm was. The bees were, however, slowly but surely closing the gap between them. It was when he turned to look back again that he failed to see the thick root of an oak jutting out from the leaves-covered ground ahead of him. With a surprised “Woof!” Oscar tripped on the root and fell face first on the ground. 

As he turned onto his back, he raised his left arm to protect his face and closed his eyes. “No! Don’t! Please!” But the painful sting he dreaded never came. 

Instead, he felt something small alight on his arm. As Oscar looked at the thing, his jaw dropped in shock.

The bee on his arm had Pedro’s tearful face! As he trained his eyes on the swarm hovering above him, he saw that all of the bees had his best friend’s face!

“Help meee!” The bee made a high-pitched wail. The swarm followed suit, again, with that plaintive cry of “HELP MEEEEEEEEEEE!”

Oscar sat up from his bed with a gasp, wiping the sweat from his face. He glanced at his wife Elvira beside him, but thankfully, he had not woken her up. 

Now that he was fully awake, Oscar’s heart started to race again when he realized that he could still hear that buzzing sound inside the room. Peering through the darkness, he traced the sound to be coming from the floor on his side of the bed. Sure enough, it was his phone that was vibrating non-stop. He must have knocked it over the night stand while thrashing from his nightmare. Not wanting to wake up his wife, Oscar picked up the phone, went outside the bedroom, and tiptoed down to the kitchen. 

As he switched on the light, Oscar pressed “Answer” on his phone, without peeking at the screen to find out who was calling him, and spoke a single “Yeah?” 

The hairs on Oscar’s arms stood on end when his mysterious caller moaned, “GRUMMPPPYYYY!”

“What the f—” All of a sudden, Oscar remembered his dream and he knew who he was talking to. “Baby Chicken, is that you?” A bit pissed off, he added, “Do you know what time it is?”

“I’m sorrryyyy!” Pedro whined back on the other end. “But…but…”

Hearing how distraught his friend was, Oscar was seized by fear and apprehension. “Hey, hey! It’s okay. Did something happen on set? Heaven forbid…did they…did they fire you?”

“No, no! I’ve actually finished a few scenes already.”

“Then what’s wrong?”

A brief pause. Then, there was a choked sob and Pedro wailed, “Werner Herzog is picking on me!”

Both of Oscar’s eyebrows rose at that revelation. From his own personal experience, he knew that a lot of things can happen on a film set, but he never expected that to happen to his friend, who was noted in the industry as one of the friendliest and kindest actors. On the other hand, Werner Herzog was notorious for his eccentric behavior. He couldn’t fathom how his cheerful and so desperately eager-to-please friend could’ve gotten on the bad side of an infamous director like Herzog.

“Now, calm down, Baby Chicken,” Oscar tried to comfort Pedro, as he sat down on a stool. “Tell me what’s been happening.”

For twenty minutes, Oscar listened carefully as Pedro told him about the events of the past few days – about Herzog’s overprotectiveness of the puppet and his determination to keep it away from Pedro. It sounded like lunatic behavior. Then again, this was Werner Herzog they were talking about. Hollywood has gotten used to the director’s eccentricities.

But not poor Pedro.

“Werner has already finished filming his last episode,” Pedro was bringing his narrative to its conclusion. “But he refused to leave the set. He said that he wanted to watch us film Episode 8 in the backlot. Because there were going to be explosions and flamethrowers, he wanted to make sure that the baby would be safe. His wife Lena has been calling the production offices, asking when he was going home. But Werner won’t leave.”

“I have to give credit to the man,” Oscar remarked with a cluck of his tongue. “He certainly is committed to this delusion of his.”

“What’ll I do? I’m having difficulty concentrating with him lurking around like an evil shadow. I constantly feel like I’m going to have a nervous breakdown. And…and…” The quiet admission came. “…I want to spend more time with Grogu.”

So, you fell in love with the puppet too, huh! It must be that cute if you like him this much, Oscar mused to himself. 

Letting out a heavy sigh, he admitted, “Having never met or worked with Werner Herzog before, I’m not sure what advice I could give you. The way I see it, you need to man up to this guy. I mean, you’re the lead actor, for chrissake, and he’s just a guest star! You need to be with that puppet more if you want to develop a convincing on-screen bond with it.”

“My point exactly! But I’m terrified of him. His mood swings scare me.”

“Well, he is an old man. Maybe he misses his kids and grandkids. Hey, I know! Why don’t you give him a nice big cake as a peace offering? Because of their age, a lot of Seniors can no longer eat the foods they loved when they were younger.”

Pedro let out a snort. “Why should I give Werner a cake? He’s the one who’s been terrorizing me!”

“Then I think you have no choice but to man up to him. Maybe not a direct confrontation. Maybe show him something which he can’t do.”

“Well, I can’t think of anything. This is THE Werner Herzog we’re talking about here. He’s done a lot of things in lifetime. Hell, he even ate a shoe on a bet!”

“I’m sure you’ll think of something. With your charms, you’ll have Herzog eating out of your hand.”

“I doubt it,” Pedro said dubiously. There was an exhalation on the other end. “I wish you were here to give me a hug, man, coz I really need it.”

“Well, consider yourself virtually hugged and here’s a smooch for good measure.” Oscar then made a loud “Mwah!” on the phone. 

“Thanks, Oscar. And I’m sorry to have woken you up. I…I just needed to hear your voice right now.”

“It’s okay. Just keep in touch, alright? Keep me updated on what’s been happening on set and with Herzog.”

“I will. Bye, Grumpy Eagle!”

“Bye and take care, Baby Chicken!”

There was a soft click as the call ended. 

“Honey?” A sleepy voice spoke behind him. 

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Oscar apologized to his wife Elvira. She was standing at the kitchen doorway, rubbing her eyes and yawning. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

Elvira wandered over to her husband, who wrapped his arms around her waist and settled her down on his lap. “Was that Pedro on the phone? Is he okay?”

“He’s having some problems with Werner Herzog.”

“THE Werner Herzog? I’ve heard he is quite a character.”

“Judging from what Pedro told me right now, he is certainly that!”

Briefly, Oscar gave his wife a rundown of what’s been happening to his best friend.

Elvira clucked her tongue in dismay and shook her head. “What a silly old man! With Pedro fretting and carrying on about the baby like this, doesn’t Herzog see that Pedro is already acting like a real father?”

Hearing that comment, Oscar could only stare at his wife in amazement at her astuteness.

“I guess Herzog hasn’t noticed it or refuses to see it,” Oscar agreed with her. “Then again, I don’t think Pedro has realized that he has become a Dad to that Child either.”

TO BE CONTINUED

[angelhummel]

jake for ur ask game!

This ask game is literally like 5 questions long and I’ve been going at a damn snail’s pace to answer it lmao what is wrong with meee

my fave trait of theirs: ugh okay I love that he’s like set up to be the next bad boy but he’s actually a big softie who takes ballet and loves his mom and his friends and stuff. He’s just such a cutie and I think it’s cool we got a male character that could have a softer side and not get made fun of. Cause you know if he came in in s1-3 he would’ve gotten made fun of (:

who i ship them with: Marley! One of the actual canon pairings I can stand. But also I like him and Tina, and him and Blaine

which of their friendships is my fave: Jake and Ryder! I swear they have a heart to heart every damn episode. There’s so much content 

my fave solo of theirs: My Prerogative. He sounded great and got to show off his dancing skills <3 

my fave duet or group song of theirs: I really like Everybody Talks with Kitty. Omg and Nasty/Rhythm Nation is literally one of the most iconic songs on the show and doesn’t get enough credit 

send me a glee character!

[thankyouforbeingsobeautiful]

the two princes season 3: episode 2

here we go HERE WE GO!!

[explicit spoilers, swearing]

oh okay we get a previously on for every episode now... thats fancy alright i see you i see you

OH MY GOD THAT FUCKING LEGO VOICE SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME

pls shut up pls

WHY IS RUPERT ,,,,,,, why's he talking like that

amir baby you're trying your best and i love you for that

man shut up i actually hate you

maybe i AM homophobic

shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up i hate you

"a month or a YEAR" bitch ill kill you

WENCEEEEE

YEAH YEAH YEAH

yuoa hieghness

joan n her soldiers doing a chorus line

WHAT

CEDRIC AND CRAZY TOOTH ARE DEAD????????????

WHAT

omg we're gonna have to change the greeting for the discord server,,,,,,,,,,,

thats bc the people are DYING joan

UHM

if joan dies i will be so fucking pissed

IF JOAN DIES I SWEAR TO GOD

sir joan i LOVE YOU

percy heyyyyy

uhm percy.........

and you tell me he's STRAIGHT???

ELKSDFHSDKJDFLSJFLKSDf

LSKDFHAFSKJSDKLFJSDFKSDFLSDJF

HES SINGINGSLFDJlfJSDKFL

SLDKLKSJdflKJSkfskdjlSLkdjfJSdf

"hes not the only one" PLS JOAN

2% babe do better pls

this bops tho

PJ SLJFLSDHFSDJF

very tempted to tick off the "percy jr is gay" box in my bingo rn

:(( he sounds so sad

who ITS HER DAD

WHAT THE FUCK

oop

STRAPPING YOUNG LAD pj is hot confirmed

WHAT

WHO

EW

EWW WH

SHES A VEGETARIAN

ew this man is gross as hell gonna k*ll him

"IN A DRESS" FUCK U MAN

ILL KILL YOU

ooh sneaky sneaky amir and porridge

what crimes will they commit

FLIRTLSKFLSDf

yeah he has MANY POINTS

wh,,,,,,, oh my god what

yall this aint good

will he think of something tho????

was he fucking  t e x t i n g  lavinia??

adam,,,,,,,,

ew i hate him

SHUT UP

a SIX????

what is going on yall,,,,,

WHAT IS GOING ON YALL

gonna EAT HIM CHOMP CHOMP BITCH

their love will Not be tested

NOT on my watch Not On My Watch

BITCH

YOU STOLE MY HEART YEAH BITCH

LSDKfjlasdfoh shit

rupert listen to him pls,,,,

"ru" is KILLING ME

no this bitch i HATE HIMMM

OH MY GOD

CHAD NO

WHALTJDLK

"c-word" that made me nervous

awww :))))

they're holding hands i just KNOW it

HES SINGING

A CAPELLA????????????

alkwjlekfjajfdncasljdfkasdf

these harmonies are so soothing

"MY DEAR" SHUT LDFJSd

dramatic gay bitch be quiet pj

dont be like ur father,, thats nasty

HES FUCKING GAY THATS WHY

girl

her voice is so soft,,,,,,,,,

PERCY PIECES

okay hold on

joan YEAH!!! joan i love you

yall the credits music is KILLING MEEE

[theanimeview]

Aniplex Online Fest - How to Produce an Anime - Notes!

1:00 PM - 2:00 PM (PDT) | Aniplex Live Stream | Sunday 5 July 2020

Panel Description: Anime producers will talk about behind the scenes of anime production. Master of Ceremonies/Host: Hisanori Yoshida Guests: Shizuka Kurosaki (Aniplex, Producer) Masami Niwa (Aniplex, Producer), Atsushi Kaneko (A-1 Pictures, Producer), Toshikazu Tsuji (CloverWorks, Producer)

_

Credit: Casea Mhtar | @madamekrow & Peggy Wood | @peggyseditorial

How Do You Produce An Anime?

Here’s the process for an anime: first proposal, the script, the storyboard, the key animation, painting, compositing, editing, and recording and that’s when it’s ready to be shown.

Step 1: Planning

There are mainly three different ways that proposals tend to come in during this planning stage. The first is when the publisher tells us about one of their hit products (games, a manga, etc.) and they ask us about adapting it into an anime. The second is when we find a series we like from a light novel or manga we’re reading already. Like, “Hey, this is cool!” Then we ask the publisher/get their permission to make the anime. The third is when a producer from an anime studio, or a director, or a staff member brings us something that they personally want to do. These are the most likely ways we come to a proposal for a new series and, of them, the third probably happens the most often.

Next comes the decision stage. A few more patterns emerge when we’re discussing whether to adapt or create an original series.

With originals, you are starting from scratch so the project is much more involved and time-consuming. Generally, a lot of staff members are involved and all of them want different things and, on top of that, the producer’s job is to make sure it does well. That it sells well, that it’s received well, that the team feels good or great about the project, and so on. So we have to find a way to respect everyone’s vision, while also guiding the project to profitability, which is pretty demanding. This also includes what I want to do as a producer. It’s fun to create something from scratch, but it also comes with so much risk. For example, originals don’t have a built-in fanbase, they don’t have the same support.

Shizuka Kurosaki provides an anecdotal example of a series he started 8 years ago that he is still working on from time to time. According to him, the series is still nowhere close to being produced. It’s just a sign of how hard it is to get it all to come together, especially when things change as time goes on.

Adaptations are different but still tough and demanding. First, you have great source material. Naturally, there are fans of the source material with what they want for the original. When we depict it through anime, there are things that were fine in the source but have to be changed for animation. We are pretty sensitive about how the original’s fans would see the results of our decision-making. Needless to say, that is a struggle that we don’t face when creating an original anime.

One of the hardest parts about adaptations is that novels and manga, which are largely still images and text, as opposed to anime, which is video, all have different rules of depiction. And when the time comes for us to make changes, we’re presented with options. Depending on what the scene is, certainly, some viewers will say, “Why couldn’t you just stay faithful to the original?” However, there are also times when changing it to be more anime-like gives it a shot of energy absent from the printed version. There's really no right answer so the process is like groping around in the dark and hoping that you find what works.

Producers don’t tend to have a lot of free time and when they do, like Masami Niwa mentioned, it’s mostly spent on things that will help at work. For example, reading what’s trending in novels or manga, watching movies, and even other animes from other companies. While it may seem like entertainment and is often enjoyable, these all serve one’s work as a producer in the field.

Step 2: Scripting

Generally, a “scenario meeting” or script meeting is held first. It’s when we look at what a writer has come up with and plan out some “book reading time.” For adaptations, it means reading the source text(s). Additionally, the planning producers and animation producers hold these meetings where the discussions start with talking about the potential series and gathering the team/assembling our staff. We already have a director in place by the time we have the first script meeting. The script is only done once the staff, including the director, gathers and is written.

Live-action scripts have hardly any screen direction when compared to anime scripts. Anime scripts are packed full of exposition. In the case of live-action scripts, if it’s like an ordinary office story. You pretty much recreate normal life. Whereas in an anime script, even if it’s an ordinary office story, there might be an employee with mind-blowing supernatural abilities. To depict something that doesn’t exist in real life, you need screen direction. And in the eyes of someone from another industry, I think it would seem like a really complex script because of the sheer amount of detail regarding action, layout, and such.

Step 3: Storyboarding

The storyboard is drawn from the script. Normally, the director draws the storyboards. But since the number of episodes keeps increasing for TV series, lately we’re seeing several storyboard artists dividing the labor.

Here are some samples of storyboards from Saekano the Movie: Finale, one of Toshikazu Tsuji’s past projects shared with the panel:

Envelopes like these, sometimes referred to as “shot envelopes” contain the layout drawings and artwork that become the key animations and in-betweens of individual scenes. By the end, all the materials that make up each scene and the finished ones are all inside one of these envelopes.

This is what storyboards look like:

This is an excerpt from the live performance scene at the top of Saekano the Movie.

Using Saekano the Movie as an example--it was a tad difficult to associate the “live scene” of the script to the animation. In the script, the directors and team have endless discussions of what they want to see within however many seconds of the animation. This is described to the animators, the people who is actually drawing the actions/storyboards/etc., who only remember parts of the conversation or only get a few words and they have to create these complex drawings after hearing the phrase “live scene.” Sometimes there is a lot of direction in those discussions while in the original novel it may just say, “they fought, they won,” but the battle leads into an epic space war.

Producers are always excited to see the storyboards. They know it must be a lot of work, hard work, to get them but they’re amazing. Animators sometimes get mad at the scripts and the different “grammar” of the adaptations between the novel and the anime script, but they do great work. To the producers, it's almost the same feeling as a fan seeing the anime for the first time.

Back to the Saekano the Movie example, in the live performance scene above, the animator that was asked to draw the scene knew how to use the instruments being played. That experience is indispensable in some cases as it helps make the movements more accurate and realistic. In the worst case scenario, producers sometimes go with motion capture or use recordings of live performances that are then 3-D rendered for the key animations.

Step 4: Key Animations

Key animations are a part of the storyboard. They are often more detailed images used to depict specifics in individual scenes, with other frames used for movements happening in between. They are often discussed and detailed during and post conversations between the animator, director, super director, and the producer.

The above is an example of a key animation. It’s not something that stands on its own, rather, they’re made out of multiple drawings. This is where she utters the “meee” from the lyrics (Saekano the Movie). This key animation is to clarify that she’s saying “meee” from the lyrics as the shape of her mouth changes. The words on the page are helpful, but not necessary.

Next we see a sample of timesheets (image below).

Time sheets are like a blueprint. This is a 3-second shot described in a timesheet and it contains all of the information going into that 3 seconds.

At the top of the timesheets are numbers and that’s where they write where they want the key animation positions to be. Since this is a live performance scene, it ends on a unique shot, and for normal shots, they’d insert some dialogue, or time a movement there. There are also instructions for Compositing. The timesheet is filled with all these details.

There are all kinds of key animations, and a key animation that’s cleared every step in the process is what we call an in-between.

Step 5: In-Betweening

In-betweening is creating the materials that fill up the spaces between the key animation positions. Since anime is all about movement from point a to point b, we have several pages to make characters and items move in-between the two points.

(Image from: https://boords.com/animatic/what-is-the-definition-of-an-animatic-storyboard)

The above is an example. On the left, you see and anamitc--which is essentially a storyboard shown in order to create the story. The frozen frames make up the key animations prior to details. On the right, you have the fully animated piece. All of the movement seen in-between those key animations seen on the left, come together to create the moving animation seen on the right is an example of the in-betweening discussed here.

Going back to the time sheet--if you look closely you can see numbers going vertically which say 1-2-3-4 etc. Those are key animations. And the tiny dots you see in between, those are in-between animations. So drawing between the first and second key animations is the job of the in-between animator for this scene.

Step 5: Painting & Compositing

Next comes painting and composition--it’s where all the colors are applied. Years ago, this used to be done with real paint. Today though, this process is usually done digitally and it’s done for every frame (all of the in-betweens, key animations, etc.). The painting process includes Compositing. It’s not until after it’s been Composited that it’s truly finished.

During compositing, all of the different piece of paper shown in this panel so far are transformed into the animation you later see. Compositing gets the timesheet you just saw, with the materials for the backgrounds and cells, the animations and such, and then they work from that blueprint to create the full animation.

In the images seen above from the Saekano the Movie example, what you’ve seen is less than a single second but it took that much work to get there. As the producer, sometimes it’s your job to step in and help if the animators taking on that workload get overwhelmed.

Animators probably leave their personal mark somewhere on the key animations they create, something that only they know about. So if that storyboard can be thought of as a blueprint for drawing, then the key animations have their character settings, and they’re drawn by diverse people with unique intentions. That’s what we try to go for, and it’s really great to be able to see it all before anyone else as a producer. Like a character who’s never made a gesture like that in such a situation in the original story, but then when a certain animator draws that character, you’ll see that gesture and it will bring life to the image. If you start looking, it’s pretty endless. But seeing all these personal stamps is what makes it so intriguing. As long as it doesn’t stray far from the story, it’s not usually a problem for the producer. It what makes anime adaptation so enjoyable for one of the panelists.

Final Step (6): Recording & Editing

After the visuals are done, comes the sound production and voice actors. Once you find the people for the roles needed, they move onto recording, and then background music is added, and finally you get the finished product that viewers see. Editing happens then too, though it also happens throughout the process as things are added and taken out over the course of production.

An example of the finished product: 

The producer can change the whole feel of the show as they often make executive decisions on music, editing, marketing, etc. They have to oversee the process, as we’ve seen throughout the panelists’ discussion on the production process. It’s worth understanding from an analytic point of view as you see how their styles, focuses, and insight can influence the creation of a series.