#create something beautiful together

[experimentaldata]

man I miss making music with people fr fr

[fourdifferentdogs]

the most important and beautiful thing about never stop blowing up for me is that it’s ultimately a season of a man peacocking for his wife 🥰

[swordheld]

hi! your blog is one of my favourites and i absolutely adore reading your thoughts. my grandfather recently passed away and it feels like i lost myself with him. how do i continue living after this? there is this constant weight on my chest and it feels like an emptiness has made a home inside of me. how do i go on when it feels like the world crashed on my shoulders?

hello, love! this is so very sweet and kind of you, and i hope you're treating yourself gently and kindly right now - there aren't words for a loss like this. that heaviness is difficult, and hard, and painful. it's okay if things don't feel okay, right now, or even soon - i think that's something that a lot of the people i know that have gone through similar grief feel: like they should be able to get back to a relative 'normal' in a [insert far too short period of time].

but it's okay if it hurts. that's where i'd like to start. you're allowed to feel that emptiness, that world-crashed feeling that goes beyond words, beyond time. don't feel like you have to rush this to feel some sort of better. things get easier with time, i promise you this, but sometimes painful feelings are important to feel, too. cry, scream, feel your emotions. they're a part of you. grieve.

it's perhaps a little silly, but when i think about death i always think about a couple of space songs: mainly drops of jupiter by train and saturn by sleeping at last. there are perhaps others that speak to the emotions better, but these two have always hit something a little deeper for me, and are popular for a wide-reaching reason.

and while personally i don't know much about grief like this, i do know a lot about love; and i think they're a lot of the same thing.

the people we love are a part of us, and this is why it takes from us so deeply when we lose them, because it does feel like we've lost a part of ourselves in the wake of it. but it's because they were so central to our experiences of living - our lives, that the separation introduces a hollowness - a place where they used to be. a home that now goes unlived in.

an emptiness, like you said.

but just because they're not here physically, doesn't mean he's not still there, in your heart, in your life, your memory. you can hold him close in smaller ways, as well: steal a sweater, or cologne/scent for something a little more physical and long lasting for remembering. hold onto the memories you cherish, the things that made you laugh, the ease of slow mornings and gentle nights. write them all down, slide a few photographs in there, go through it and add more when you miss him. keep them all close, keep them in your heart.

you're not alone, in this. he's still there, with you, it's just - in the little things.

he's with you in the way you see and go about your daily life, in doing what he liked to do, in the ways he interacted with the world that you shared with him. the memories you recall fondly when the night is late or the moment is right and something calls it into you like a melody, an old bell, laughter you'd recognize anywhere.

but i think, perhaps most importantly above all others - talk about him. with your family, your friends, his friends, strangers; stories are how we keep the people we love alive. the connections they've made, the legacies and experiences they've left behind, and so, so many stories.

how lucky, we are - to love so much it takes a piece of us when they go. grief is the other side of the coin, but it does not mean our love goes away. it lives in you. it lives in everyone who knew him, in the smallest pieces of our lives.

the people we love never really leave us, like this: they're in how we cook and the way we fold our newspapers, our laundry, in the radio stations we tune in to and the way we decorate our walls, our photo albums. they're in the way we store our mail, organize our closets, the scribbled notes in the indexes of our books. the meals we love and the drinks we mix, the way we spend time with one another. they've been passed down for generations, for longer than history - and we are all the luckier for it.

think about what you shared with him, and do it intentionally. bring him into your life, like this, again. whether it's crosswords or poetry or sports or anything else. if one doesn't help, try another. something might click.

i hope things feel a little easier for you, as they tend to do only with time. i hope you find joy in your grief, even if it is small and hard to grasp at first. know that your hurt stems from so much love that there isn't a place to put it properly, and that it is something so meaningful and hurting poets and storytellers have been struggling to put it into words and sounds that feel like the fit right for eons, and that it is also just simply yours. sometimes things don't have to make sense. sometimes they just are - unable to be put into words or neat little sentiments, as unfair and tragic as they come.

but i promise it will not feel like this forever. your love is real. and perhaps, on where to begin on from here - i think it's less on finding where to begin and just beginning. and you've already started. you've taken the most important and crucial step: the first one. wherever you go, after that, from here? you'll figure it out. you always have, and you always do. it'll come, as things always do. love leads us, as does light - and you're never alone in your hurt. in your grief, your missing something dear to you. i think if you talk about it with others, you'll find they have ways of helping you cope as well - and they have so much love of their own to spare, too.

as an aside, here is the song (northern star by dom fera) i was listening to when i wrote this, for no other reason more than it makes me think of connections, and love, and how we hold onto the people we love and how they change us, wonderfully and intrinsically. it's a little more joyous than the others i've mentioned, and plays like a story, and it made me think of what is at the core of this, love and stories and i am here with you, and maybe it'll bring you some joy, if you'd like it. wishing you all my love and ease 💛

[cloud-somersault]

(sits down opposite you in a booth at a ice cream parlor) i think a really important point of shadowpeach after reconciliation is the interweaving of all facets of their relationship and them struggling to meld those into some kind of cohesive "friendship" or whatever

and what I mean is that, like, there's always going to be some underlying resentment because wukong did a murder. so on Macaque's part, there's always going to be this anger and resentment and this hate that he has to deal with while also trying to piece their relationship into something that fits.

there's always going to be some guilt on wukong's part because he did a murder. there's going to be some guilt and an understanding that if Macaque, at any point, doesn't want to be friends, wukong understands why because of what happened between them. so he's saddened by the fact that things could end at any point and he doesn't have the right to try and fight for their relationship. i don't think that would stop him, but he'd be aware of it.

and then there's always going to be these echoes of their past haunting them. of what they were. because on some level, they're both still grieving that. they both miss that time in their lives, and that leads to anger, especially on macaque's part, because he lost something he coveted and treasured. and wukong also, because even if he killed macaque accidentally, he's allowed to miss that time also. because he wishes with all his heart that they can return to that past where none of the bad shit happened.

and then there's the threat of what they are now. broken and shattered people, jaded and knowledgeable of the world, they see these crumbled pieces and the feelings dwelling within themselves and look to each other and say, "Hey, can we really fix this? Can this really turn into something tangible and discernible?"

because the whole point -- (moves and sits beside you in the booth) the whole point is that they look at that scattered mess and decide yes, it's a broken mess that can become something worthy of being looked at. and though it's going to take time to put the pieces together and, in so doing, it's possible that we mishandle the pieces and they break further or the glue we're using doesn't work. and one of us may give up for a while, but we have to keep going.

the process of piecing their relationship together is difficult. they can cut themselves, hurt themselves or each other intentionally or unintentionally. it's a messy process. it's tricky and annoying and frustrating but, despite that, they both decide to keep working on it together.

and that's the reconciliation process. because we get to see that ugliness. it's not this pretty thing. it's not perfect and not everything it solved. it's only the beginning because, in reconciling, they both looked at that mess of pieces on the floor and then looked to each other and said, "Yeah, we can fix this."

but the thing also is -- this is wukong and macaque. and they're a little stupid. and they're prone to mistakes. so whatever they make at the end, whatever they piece together...

chances are it's not going to be beautiful at all.

[lunar-wandering]

I genuinely think so many people have forgotten the fact of "there are no toxic fandoms, only toxic people".

When fandoms get big, of course the amount of people u want nothing to do with is also gonna get bigger.

Youre not meant to combat them. Youre not meant to talk about them and expose others to them.

Youre meant to block them at the first signs and continue to enjoy your experience interacting with other people.

Kill the weeds, don't let the seeds spread, reap your wheat and enjoy your bread.

[spiritsong]

day twenty-four: blood magic

#Veilguard30 by @pavus · writing prompt

wordcount: 4.3k lavellan and solas agree to try blood magic just the once.

The sound of the village — the music slipping out from the Singing Maiden, the clanging and clashing of swords and shields, the simple chatter of daily life — began to fade as they walked deeper into the wilderness of Haven.

When all that was left was the sound of their muffled footsteps and their breathing, coupled with the cracking of branches falling from the weight of snow and the scurrying of small creatures, they continued further still. 

They needed privacy. Sylathe could imagine little worse than being happened upon by the villagers, or by Inquisition soldiers, or worst of all, Cassandra Pentaghast.

Privately, she wondered at Solas’s willingness to go along with this at all. From what little she knew of him, he seemed a level-headed and cautious man — someone who carefully weighed the consequences of all possibilities. 

When one of those possibilities was the Seeker chancing upon the Elvhen apostates secretly practicing blood magic in the woods… well. 

continue on ao3.

[jemmo]

that final scene in this ep of utsukushii kare. it feels like someone just ripped out my gut, slashed it open and trampled over the bloody remains. i want to sob. I want to out loud, fat tears, shaking my body sob. but all im stuck on is hira’s brokenly confused face, kiyoi on top of him grabbing onto his clothes and crying, an absolute tornado of emotion the likes of which he’s never shown, all to hira, all because of hira, and yet hira sits there and it’s like the storm covers him but he’s inside this impenetrable building and not a single drop of rain hits him. he knows it’s raining, he can hear it battering down on the roof, but it’s just rain. he doesn’t understand the full extent, doesn’t know the wind is ripping down trees and lightening is cracking the sky in two. and because he’s inside, he doesn’t need to know, doesn’t care to know, doesn’t want to know. hira will happily stay inside, in his bubble, in his constructed world, and he will be alone, and he will suffer, but that’s alright bc he’s not out there.

it’s like he’s gotten used to the internalized problems he faces, and they stick with him, almost a comfort to him now, in that he’ll see them when they’re not there. the external things that make him worried and anxious now, they’re less so, but hira still is that high school kid, getting picked on for his stutter, that faded into the background. he’s stuck there, and he’s never grown past it, and there’s almost a security in not growing, not changing, even if the thing you’re stuck as is worry and anxiety and invisibility and self doubt and constant internal doubt and criticism and lack of confidence. at least he’s used to it. at least there isn’t anything new to challenge him. and it shows, bc whenever he is challenged, in the sense that something that doesn’t fit he’s established world and role happens, he puts himself down and apologizes, like it’s a practiced, default reaction. that’s how he got through before, it’s how he learned to get through. but now, in the place he finds himself, in the situation and relationship he���s in, this is not a place for that reaction. the people he’s around, kiyoi, he doesn’t need hira to put himself down. he doesn’t need apologies. he wants understanding. and hira just resolutely refused that, said that he not only doesn’t understand hira, but that he doesn’t want to, and he’s not going to attempt to. and I don’t think he could have said anything more heartbreaking to kiyoi. all he has ever wanted was for someone to see him and understand him and love him for it. hira gives him love, unendingly and uncritically. he’s love is irrespective of anything kiyoi does or says or feels. it’s love of an idea, of a theory, of a concept in a pretty shell. it’s not love of the human inside, it can’t be, bc he just said he doesn’t want to understand that person, and without that there can’t be love. you can’t love something you can’t see or comprehend, that there’s a person kiyoi that isn’t the god kiyoi there is in his universe.

and the thing is, I think hira could’ve understood kiyoi, back when he saw a side of kiyoi that no one else did and still showed him love. I think down the line he could’ve gotten to know that person more and liked him, but the thing is, it’s different bc of kiyoi’s feelings. bc kiyoi’s feelings contradict so much what hira believes about himself that he can’t understand him. it’s easier to not know kiyoi that way and stick to his established universe, rather than understand kiyoi fully, bc in that he has to reevaluate everything, about himself and his place in the world and kiyoi’s place too. that is not an easy task. and it’s not that hira wouldn’t, I don’t think. I think there is a feasible future where hira recognizes that choice he can make and chooses kiyoi, chooses to challenge himself out of love for kiyoi and a want to understand him, and maybe even a want to understand and love himself. but bc he doesn’t recognize that as a choice he can make, he can’t do it. and I think that’s what hira needs to face, which I think is more than kiyoi and his feelings and care for hira can manage to accomplish. hira’s mental dissonance is gonna be a work in progress, it’s just a matter or him realizing it and getting to a point of actually working on it. the only thing is, in the meantime, can kiyoi be patient with hira, and the hurt he makes him feel? should he? bc when hira outright refuses to understand, when it feels that rigid and definite, when there’s no feasible future where he will understand, what’s the point? that’s the heartbreak. that hira is constantly worrying about forever, but he just denied a forever with kiyoi. and the problem is him, just not for the reasons he thinks he is. he needs to realize there is no forever with kiyoi the god, bc gods don’t last forever, they’re ephemeral, they’re fleeting. there can be a forever with kiyoi though, the man, the person, the human being, he just needs to step outside, into the storm, and let it soak him. bc when he gets to stand with kiyoi in the rain, he’ll see it’s worth it.

[autism-disco]

ok but music is actually the most beautiful thing in every way i’m gonna turn into the sun. music and people and the world and oouyggghhhh

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

have I mentioned lately how much "one single thread of gold" sends me because of the implications? 🙃

the thing about "invisible string" that everyone has pointed out is that it's not that they were actually fated to be together, it's that there are all these things in their past that made them who they are and where they are, and the love they share is so special to them that it feels like it could have been written in the stars. (But the whole thing is that, everything about them is so ordinary and a series of happenstance. But love makes everything feel magical even when it is the most normal thing.)

So throughout the song she's musing about the imaginary, invisible string that ties them together, a metaphor about all the decisions they've made along the way that led to them meeting, until the bridge which ends with, "one single thread of gold tied me to you," the only instance of something tangible between them binding them, representing their love (and commitment).

It's interesting that she's used gold a lot in her music to refer to love (and specifically with him), but the "one single thread of gold tying me to you" has always seemed so sweet to me, yet also had such... important implications. (I know I'm talking around it lol) It's just a lovely way to end the song, "look at all these random occurrences in our lives that made us the people we are and now we've built something permanent together."

anyway I will never shut up about this song even if it's now dead in a ditch and listening to folklore was a great idea today instead of working!

[batsplat]

they'll always be my three guys

[castieldelamancha]

you know the way ed and stede hold each other during their mid-fight kisses, well that's exactly the way i picture they would have danced together too, moving together a bit clumsily, getting progressively closer to each other, ed looking down at his feet trying his best not to step on stede's feet but also a bit too overwhelmed by the idea of making eye contact in such a emotional and intimate moment, stede watching his face closely and complimenting him on his dancing skills, maybe exaggerating a bit only because he knows it will get ed to finally look at him, and he does, he huffs a bit, shakes his head but he does look up and gives stede one of his wide eyed, soft, vulnerable and raw, looks

[harpieisthecarpie]

to every entity populating online book and writing repositories with ai garbage: i hope the crushing weight of your inadequacy becomes all-encompassing and suffocating in a way that not even sleep allows you to escape

This includes, but is not limited to, ai pantomimes of:

Picture books

Audiobooks

Fanfiction

Anything going onto a free library resource

Characters, done by feeding actual writing to a 3rd party site

Scripts

"True" stories and "facts"

[candyandmeat]

!TO ALL ARTISTS WITH A SPIDERSONA!

I am starting a project called We Are the Spider-Verse! An art project where I recreate the ATSV movie poster with the fandom’s spider-men as a kind of love letter and celebration of the series and the creativity the fans have shown.

So far 4 artists (including me) have sent their characters and are ready to join the new poster but that means I need to fill out the other 32 slots. That’s where you come in!

If you want to join all you have to do is like & reblog this post and either dm me or comment that you would like to join. You’ll be able to pick the spot your character goes depending on how early you ask to join. (Credits to the artists will be posted with the finished poster).

[snakeeyesandangelfeathers]

I'm sorry but can we talk about how Love seems to be the moving force of the universe?

We know that the miracle Aziraphale and Crowley perform Together, even if it's just the tiniest bit of a miracle, is made an insane amount stronger, just because they worked Together and used their shared connection to perform it.

They didn't know this would happen. Nobody has ever tried it before, right? Imagine them using their shared Full power on purpose, and yes, these two could probably raise all the dead of the Earth and put them back to sleep, as long as they did it together.

We saw Beelzebub and Gabriel too, Singing together, showing their love in their own way, so much could Feel it in the air, having such a powerful connection that it made all the lights around them turn on.

Seems to me like the God designed her creatures this way on purpose, having them stronger when they are together, when they have a bond, they love each other, they work together, share a life and their own being with one another? Maybe because she was lonely and wished for her creatures to have someone they could share the joy of 'making a whale' with, with someone who would understand them?

So, if the angels and demons stopped fighting each other like dumb kids with toy soldiers and instead grew up and came to see this is what whey were meant to do, they would all become a whole lot more powerful (and happier), finding their soulmates and caring about each other, focusing on what truly matters.

[chitinleg]

so if someone was theoretically going to write a fic based off of the tags on that one very excellent garashir artwork you did... what would be a suitable villain role and/or scheme for garak to play? i know basically nothing about spy media and even less about james bond. i googled "most homoerotic james bond villain" and that was interesting but not helpful for this scenario... idk i want to really do this justice so i figured i could ask, since you came up with the idea in the first place and i guess that means this is a gift for you? and everyone else who liked that piece? thank you for your time :)

this is SUCH a charming question to receive!!! it's an honor that my art might inspire others to create! that said, here is my advice: i think you should follow your heart, mainly! i say this to everyone about everything but its very true, with writing especially, i think, you might want to write things that are especially interesting to you so that its exciting to keep going with them

personally, i don't watch a lot of spy media, i disliked james bond as a kid and i still dislike him now, so the character archetypes and plots from that wouldn't interest me enough to write a fanfic off of—i could read ds9 fic based off of them easily bc i love the ds9 characters!!! but. i couldn't write like that. therefore, i can't give you useful answers from that canon. i can give you this, but i don't know if it will be helpful: i think i would first start with the question—what about garak excites you? what puts you on the edge of your seat with him? what about julian—what actions do you like to see him take? what decisions of his make you giddy? how do you like to dig into his character? how do you like to dig into garak's? if you write down the answers to your question, it becomes the puzzle of how you can get everything you want out of the fic. the beautiful thing about the holosuite is that anything can happen at all, and while you're telling a spy story, it doesn't have to all be spy tropes. you could, if you wanted, play out a shakespeare play (your favorite shakespeare play, assuming you don't hate them all) as if it were a spy thriller! Sure, what's Twelfth Night as a spy thriller? We already have many characters playing with the fluidity of identity, going by different names, taking on different roles, gaining trust and acting on their own best interests. Just raise the stakes a little. is this insane? i feel insane. is it worth anything? i hope so. my ending point is: i am not so good at writing advice! i'm a much better drawer than a worder, but it's a gift already that you've said my art has motivated your desire to create!!!!!!!!! from there on—don't worry about what i want at all, don't worry about doing my work justice!!! take what excites you about the idea, take what excites you from your own ideas, and build it into something that makes you giddy to work on!!! i believe in you, and you have the world at your fingertips!!!!!!

[hellogoodbyegirl]

Supertramp in Melody Maker