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rainerioun · 4 months ago

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𝖶𝖧𝖠𝖳 𝖲𝖧𝖮𝖴𝖫𝖣 𝖸𝖮𝖴 𝖥𝖮𝖢𝖴𝖲 𝖮𝖭 𝖳𝖧𝖨𝖲 𝖶𝖤𝖤𝖪? | 𝗉𝗂𝖼𝗄 𝖺 𝖼𝖺𝗋𝖽.

— Hi! This reading is pretty straightforward and simple, but I tried to spice it up with other elements. Wishing you all an amazing week!

ORIGINAL DATE POSTED : MARCH 31ST, 2024.

HOW TO CHOOSE A PILE : The outcome may vary based on whether you receive clear messages visually or intuitively. If you resonate more with selecting a pile visually, trust that inclination. Personally, I believe the notion that 'looks can deceive,' so I prefer to take a deep breath and close my eyes, allowing the pile I'm meant to connect with to come to me. You might see the color of the pile, sense or hear a number, or simply feel its overall vibe.

Please don’t redistribute or edit my content.

MUST READ + MASTERLIST | KO-FI

PILE ONE

Main Focus. Phoenix : Freedom from Suffering and Past Karma. Reincarnation. Nightingale : Fearless Voice, Speech, Communication, or Song.

This week, prioritize expressing yourself openly and communicating clearly. Release worries from past experiences to embrace new ones. Whether through work, hobbies, casual conversations, or anything else, you can offer valuable contributions for personal growth and the benefit of others.

Additional Focus. Step Away from the Crowd. | It's Not an Emergency. Material and Spiritual Prosperity. | Choose Wisely. Teacher : Share Your Knowledge. Teacher — Light : Ability to communicate knowledge, experience, skill, or wisdom.

I was taken aback when I drew two teacher cards from different decks, but it really emphasizes what I mentioned earlier. Allow yourself to unconsciously or consciously guide others. This might involve sharing experiences openly, teaching a skill, or imparting wisdom. This will end up benefiting you in the long term. If you're in a work setting, this could manifest there. If not, it may reveal itself in another form.

If you're currently pondering over a decision or choice, it might resurface later in the week. [ If this doesn't resonate with you, this could also form suddenly and randomly. ] Take your time; there's no need to rush. Remember, it might not be as significant as it seems initially. Approach it with a clear mind and stability, allowing yourself to make a wise decision without being swayed by others or external factors.

If Wanted, Balance Your Root Chakra.

Affirmations: I am centered and grounded. I am safe and secure. I have all I need. I am where I'm meant to be.

Try Using/Wearing: Smokey Quartz, Red Jasper, Black Obsidian, Red Garnet.

Activities: Go outdoors. Walk barefoot. Dance. Meditate. Journal. Ensure you attend to your basic needs. Engage in grounding exercises, both mentally and physically. Physical activities, such as jogging or exercise. Declutter your space. Listen to music or sing.

PILE TWO

Main Focus. Oyster : Patient, Secret-Keeper, Hiding Inner Treasures. Unicorn : Reconnecting to Higher Wisdom or Divinity.

This week, consider starting a journey of deeper self-discovery, even if it's just taking small steps. Nothing happens overnight. Allow yourself to slow down and reflect, practicing patience with both life and yourself. If you're religious or spiritual, try deepening that connection this week; you might discover the answers you seek or a kickstart in the right direction.

Additional Focus. Don't Sweat the Small Stuff. | Rise and Shine. The Waiting Game. | Authority. Family : All in the Pride. Victim — Light : Prevents you from letting yourself be victimized, or victimizing others.

Taking it slow is crucial this week. Rushing through life isn't the way to go; instead, allow things to unfold naturally for now. Empower yourself to let this process happen without stressing over easily fixable or insignificant matters.

For some of you dealing with family or close ones, let things simmer for a bit before diving back in. If not, perhaps reach out and say hello!

If Wanted, Balance Your Third-Eye Chakra.

Affirmations: I trust my intuition. I accept things how they are. I am insightful. I see and think clearly. All I need is within me. I trust in my decisions.

Try Using/Wearing: Sodalite, Lapis Lazuli, Sapphire, Blue Aventurine, Amethyst.

Activities: Visualization. Do puzzles or other mentally stimulating tasks. Do what you simply feel called to do. Pay extra attention to your dreams, and write them down. Get creative. Limit screen time.

PILE THREE

Main Focus. Octopus : Reaching, Yearning, Lacking Boundaries and Direction. Hawk : Watchful, All-Seeing, Messenger of Divinity. Golden Egg : Message at the Center of the Heart, The Unstruck Sound.

Taking quiet time for yourself is important. Embrace the peace and comfort of what you already have. There's no need to desperately search or long for something at this moment. It might feel challenging without a clear direction, but if you've been seeking a sign, consider this it. Pushing and rushing will only lead to a shortage of these things. Allow yourself the time and space to form them naturally, whether you're actively involved or not.

This is just a gentle nudge for a few people: if you've been contemplating starting therapy or seeking help, please consider doing so. I'll leave it at that since it's a sensitive topic.

Additional Focus. Reclaim Your Art. | Celebrate You. Light. | Base Chakra. | Financial and Material Changes. Fullness : Give Thanks. | Conundrum : Up In The Air. Rescuer — Light : Provides strength and support to others in crisis. Acts out of love with no expectation of reward.

For those of you who engage in any form of creativity, no matter how small, consider spending some time alone with your craft this week. You might find it brings even more clarity than before. Embracing the unique aspects of yourself is always a beautiful and necessary thing. Remember, you are strong, and any challenges you face will eventually fade away as long as you continue to love and nurture yourself. Trust that things will work out; sometimes, you have to be your own savior for the right people or opportunities to come into your life.

If Wanted, Balance Your Heart Chakra.

—The Root/Base Chakra card appeared, but I sense that focusing on the heart is more necessary at the moment. You can explore the other later on. If you're still interested, you can find more about it in the lower half of the first pile. <3

Affirmations: Wherever I go, love is all around me. I love myself to the fullest. I am worthy of love. Love flows freely. I feel my heart's calling. I honor myself. I live in harmony. I forgive myself and others.

Try Using/Wearing: Rose Quartz, Aventurine, Jade, Pink or Green Tourmaline, Opal.

Activities: Pamper yourself. Give love and help to those in need. Volunteer. Go to a pet shop. Do things you loved as a child.

PILE FOUR

Main Focus. Panther : Annihilation of the Unnecessary, Purging. Camel : Resourceful, Independent, Knows One's Self.

This week, take a more action-oriented approach. Be bold and productive—it suits you. Try relying on yourself as you tackle tasks and goals. Let go of anything that no longer serves you, that includes toxic people.

Additional Focus. Turn Back. | Connect with Your Soul Family. Heart Chakra. | Rejoice in Celebration. Self-Confidence : Stand Your Ground. | Watcher: Be Your Own Witness. Fool — Light : Fearlessly revealing emotion. Helping people laugh at absurdity and hypocrisy.

You need to learn to be your own support. Celebrate your confidence and embrace yourself. Remember, it doesn't always have to be rigid and serious—you can express this through humor and laughter. You can be a strong figure while also being open about your emotions. Connect more with the people around you in this positive energy.

If Wanted, Balance Your Heart Chakra.

Try Using/Wearing: Rose Quartz, Aventurine, Jade, Pink or Green Tourmaline, Opal.

Activities: Pamper yourself. Give love and help to those in need. Volunteer. Go to a pet shop. Do things you loved as a child.

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yunarim · 2 years ago

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we make eye contact, having the same feeling is enough

❤︎ summary : due to the nrc panks' prank, you can say nothing but harsh & toxic words to your adored ones ❤︎ tags : female reader ('her' is mentioned in riddle's part, in other parts can be read as a gn reader), unwilling toxicity from reader, sfw, slight mentions of blood in azul's part, reader is referred to as 'prefect'. ❤︎ chatacters : riddle, kalim, ruggie, azul ❤︎ author's note : see the end of the post!

You thought that nothing would get worse. After all, it's not every day that you, an absolutely ordinary magicless person, get isekaied to a world that you used to read about only in children's fairy tales or colorful comics, where bursts of magic were indicated by all sorts of funny signatures in the form of “boom!”, “bang!” sounds when a fancy potion was bubbling in the cauldron.

Maybe me being here is also a kind of bizarre joke, you thought, surrounded by students in branded uniforms. No matter how you look at it, they are still students just like you, and even teachers aren’t devoid of their typical quirks and oddities, their sometimes demanding behavior isn't out of ordinary. It's all the same, with the only difference that in front of you is a questionable quality boiling consistency of eye-popping color with alternately bursting large bubbles.

Well, it's actually creepy.

“Prefect, be a good pup, help your classmates!” teacher Crewel commanded delicately, using the pointer to indicate to a group of students in lab coats, their actions are far from safe to say at least. Although what exactly is security in the context of this world?

Without further immersion in your philosophical reflections, you approached the other first-years.

“Hello… Do you need any help?”

What a pity that Ace and Deuce were recruited to another team today. Sly smiles on unfamiliar faces didn’t inspire confidence at all.

“Yes, please give me the Mirabilis Jalapa root," said one of the students, vaguely pointing with a wave of his hand somewhere in the direction of the shelves.

Turning around, you pulled up a bottle with a sticker with the correct name and handed it to the group. The rest of the class was held in a calm way, and you even cheered up, since the preparation of potions did not necessarily involve magic, and teacher Crewel even dwelled on reorganizing the curriculum for you, thanks to which you took an active part in the process. In fact, you even fell in love with potionology.

What you didn't expect from the end of this lesson was a test of knowledge in practice. The end of the semester was approaching, just right when you managed to forget that in addition to the test papers there are also several practical ones which you are able to pass without magic. And potionology fell under that category.

“Our group is going to present...” You hurriedly leaned into your classmate's ear, asking what you were doing just now. “A potion that recolors hair. In modern reality, it’s unprofitable to spend a lot of time in hairdressers, so we would like to save time, and it's especially useful for magicless people. I will demonstrate the effect of the potion on myself.”

Doubtfully twisting the bottle in your hands, you took a deep breath and swallowed. Purple dye was used for the potion, and your hair has acquired a similar shade. Having received the approval of the teacher, you exhaled with calmness - you didn't have to worry about the final grade now!

“Thanks for the help, Prefect. Here's a potion that will restore your hair color.” One of the participants in this whole venture gave you a bottle with a liquid indistinguishable from your own hair color, and you thanked him, smiling quite happily and not even noticing a suspicious glint in his eyes at all.

Everything was fine until you bumped into him.

You ran into Riddle on your way to the library, where you intended to catch your breath after class and prepare for the next one. Thinking about how nice it was that there were no side effects after using the potion, you stopped abruptly against your will, not noticing the flashes of something red in front of your eyes.

“Oh, Prefect,” you instantly recognized Riddle's voice. His sweet voice were echoing in your head every so often you visited his dorm and attended unbirthday parties. The corners of your lips instantly lifted up. “Be careful, according to the rules you need to look where you are going.”

Riddle still had his hands on your shoulders, which were placed there in an attempt to prevent a collision of the foreheads. You raised your head and nodded, thinking whether you should thank him, but suddenly your lips twitched ambiguously.

“Who do you think you are, telling me what to do?!”

Riddle's eye twitched nervously, while you blinked vaguely, realizing that maybe you misheard yourself somehow.

“Huh?! What makes you think you have the right to raise your voice at me?!” scarlet hue appeared on his face. Your rude tone struck a chord with him in the first place. It's been a long time since he went overblotted, and he tried very hard to restrain his malicious impulses. But your unflattering comment was completely out of line.

“No, really, who the hell do you think you are? The Ruler of this college? Ha! Do you really think you're so smart that you can throw your poor rules right and left?” Your heart was pounding wildly under your ribs, and the expression on your face couldn’t be compared with what you were shouting at all. Could it be that this is a side effect of the potion?.. In this case, it’s necessary to try to warn Riddle before anything happens that could lead to an out-of-control situation.

“In the name of Great Sevens!! Trying so hard so it's just off with your head?! Wonderful, I'm in the right mood for this!” Riddle's anger grew more and more, and out of fright you waved your hands, showing that he needs to stop. You didn’t actually know whether he should stop himself or you, though.

“Riddle, I!..” you blurted out this phrase on emotion, still not understanding what needs to be done to make the effect of the potion to dispel. You looked straight into Riddle's steely eyes, where small vessels burst with rage. “You're just ridiculous! Don’t you have enough brains at all to deal with me in a different way? Worthless!”

The conflict of emotions and the divergence of actions with your real feelings brought you to the point that you impulsively pressed your mouth with your palms in order not to say anything at all. Tears rolled down your cheeks briefly decreasing Riddle's vigilance to some extent. His blood was boiling in his veins, and he was ready for any measures, but your reaction seemed to sober him up. And the students who had gathered in the corridor didn’t facilitate him at all.

“... Hey, Prefect.” Riddle approached you with a gloomy expression on his face, and you took a step back accordingly, aggressively waving your hands to push him away from you. “Hmm... try texting me something with your phone.”

Frantically fishing the phone out of your pocket and barely hitting the buttons with a terribly trembling fingers you managed to explain the situation. As he read, Riddle began to blush more and more again. Pulling you into his arms, he turned to the crowd in the hallway.

“It’s off with your heads right now if you don't tell me where the students who were in the group with Prefect at potionology today are!!” The crowd scattered in search, and Riddle sighed heavily.

“I'm sorry I cursed at you, I didn't know… So the potion works in such a way that you just start being rude when you open your mouth?” Riddle made a guess, but you can’t help but shrug your shoulders.

When Riddle found the students who did this to you, he thoroughly interrogated them, not forgetting to drive in a bit of common sense and promising that the next step after his unique spell will be expulsion, he returned to you with a bunch of thoughts in his head.

“The potion makes her say the opposite of what she feels.” The students explained it to him, and Riddle had no choice but to think about what you do feel in the first place.

"Just try to get one damn millimeter closer to her next time, and it’s off with your heads forever." Riddle warned your classmates silently, not making any fuss, and then quickly returned to the position where you were staying for quite a while.

“Prefect, I'm back. Well, will you try to talk?”

“MY GOD, I'm sorry for what happened a couple of hours ago, I sincerely apologize, I didn't mean any of what happened, and!..” Riddle chuckled without malice, stopping you with a gesture.

“It's okay, it wasn't your fault.”

Mumbling thanks, you smiled, and a thin layer of blush covered your cheeks. Riddle wondered what you actually feel towards him, but he would prefer to find out later, without the effects of any muddy potions.

You went outside to get some fresh air. The smell of potions got into your nose and seemed to haunt you for some time, making you sniff and wince.

While sitting down near the fountain, you threw your head back and sighed. There was still enough time before the next class, so you were relaxing under the sun when suddenly a familiar voice reached you from the other side of the yard.

“Prefect!!!” You lazily opened your eyes, recognizing Kalim by his voice, and waved him in a friendly way.

Kalim approached and out of habit you spread your arms, welcoming Scarabia dorm leader in an embrace. Kalim explained it as a “welcoming gesture in his native country” and before everything he himself was an extremely extroverted and very friendly person, so hugging was considered as a normal procedure between you two. For you these hugs were a daily dose of serotonin and also perhaps something more, but you quickly brushed off those thoughts and welcomed your not-so-platonic friend with a warm smile.

“Prefect, good morning!! Was it potionology class just now? How did everything go? I'm sure you did a great job! Even if you don't, it’s okay!” You laughed sweetly at him praising you for your very existing, amazed at the radiance of your friend. “Well, tell me, how are you?”

“God, will you shut up already? You talk so much, it's annoying.”

Kalim blinked a couple of times, his mouth open in perplexity. You didn't even realize what you said right away, because Kalim was a person who smiles even when it's incredibly hard, and even now his reaction was not disapproving you. Rather, he was puzzled and you involuntarily pressed your fingers to your lips, as if it could help you figure out what just happened.

Kalim, after taking some time to reflect, returned the smile to his face and gave you a little nod, urging you to continue. Frowning, you opened your mouth to proceed talking.

“Finally learned to keep quiet when asked? What an obedient boy you are, I'm amazed. Maybe you'll stop smiling too, since you're so helpless?”

Kalim's amber eyes flashed with suspicion. Okay, it no longer looked like just an awkward burts of emotions or some kind of ridiculous coincidence with anything. Both you and Kalim abruptly stopped talking, but you frowned heavily until he continued to speak.

“Prefect, listen. If that's what's been getting you all this time, then you could have told me earlier. We are friends, I think we need to tackle issues the instant they arise, aren't we?.. You sound like you've been accumulating it for a very long time...”

You wanted to scream and howl in helplessness but quickly realized that it was probably the potion that your classmates gave you. Turning your head negatively from side to side, you shyly lowered your gaze and fell completely silent.

“Prefect… I don't quite understand why you told me all this if you don't want to discuss it in detail now?..” Kalim seemed to be asking himself more than you, trying to figure out what had happened. “Tell me, are you okay? You don't look well.”

“Oh, believe me, I look just fine, hell to your worries. And am I being interrogated now?!”

You were shaking. There was no trace of the ever-splashing happiness in Kalim's eyes. His gaze became firm, focused and attentive but in rather concerned way. It was impossible to pretend that he was full of worry and discouraged, because you could get even more scared. What could he do for you now? Should he call Jamil? No, he's taking an elective classes at the moment… Run to the nearest classroom and call for the teacher? But leaving you alone with these depressing thoughts is a much worse idea. In fact, his own feelings were driving him into a dead end, anxiety permeated his entire body. Kalim rubbed his temples with his fingers.

“Well... let's try this. I know it's not in your nature to say that! Don't worry, Prefect, I'll figure out what to do!”

You smiled, which went against your words literally half a minute ago, and Kalim only confirmed his guesses.

“Listen, I have an idea, let's try checking it out…” Kalim stretched out his open hand to you, and you blinked with an incomprehension in response to this gesture. “Try to write with your finger what happened with you on my hand! Hehe, it might work, right?”

Chuckling softly, you put his hand on your lap and ran your finger over the soft skin, seeming a little embarrassed by your own actions. Kalim giggled sweetly at the ticklish feeling of your fingers pressing on his skin. You poked him lightly on the shoulder, as if completing the story, and he nodded eagerly.

“So that's what happened! Oh, Prefect, to be honest, I was terrified at first! But it's good that the effect only applies to your speech. I wonder how long it takes to subside… Let's find your classmates and find out everything from them.”

After your classmates explained the situation to Kalim, he still warned them with a smile that they would definitely take responsibility for what they did. Although this suspicious smile was obviously different from the one he gave you every day.

“Don't worry! You'll be back to normal in a couple of hours. Although I'm happy to know that your rude words are the opposite of what you really think. That makes us amazing friends, doesn't it?” Kalim put his arm around your shoulder as you both walked back to the courtyard.

You've wondered what the real nature of your warm feelings was...

You decided to go to the botanical garden to clear your mind. A gentle calming atmosphere was something you really needed at the moment. A great option to take a break after the test.

“Leona-san, good morning! Oh would ya be so kind and honor the audience with your all-mighty presence? My plans didn't really include part-time working as your secretary.”

You heard Ruggie’s speech, who obviously tried again to put a little responsibility and a sense of time into the dorm leader, but all in vain as usual. You saw Leona scowl at Ruggie when you came inside.

“Spare me your sentimental speeches, Ruggie." Leona retorted. "Now that the herbivore is here, you're forcing me to get out. I can't even sleep peacefully anymore.”

Leona, nodding to you in greeting, walked lazily out of the garden. Ruggie turned around, waving his hand, and waited for you to come closer. Making yourself sit down on the bench where Leona usually sleeps, you smiled back.

“Have the first-years already finished their classes? Unless you're skipping, shyehehe,” Ruggie didn't bother to sit down next to you. He throwed his hands behind his head in a signature gesture of his and laughed. You rolled your eyes without any malice in them.

“None of your business. Besides, I'm not such a stupid idiot, unlike you.”

Frowning, you didn't realize what just happened. Ruggie, despite your rudeness, didn’t even raise an eyebrow and continued the conversation.

“I'll look at you when your the second year! You have no idea how meticulous Trein can be, such a pain in the ass.”

“Sure, sure, make excuses, you stupid thing. It's better to admit right away that you are an empty-headed fool without any traces of gray matter in your brain. Why don't you just make Trein fall down the stairs, Mr.-I-have-the-coolest-unique-magic?”

This time Ruggie lowered his arms and leaned right over you, resting his hand on the back of the bench. If you were joking, then the joke was absolutely not funny, even for a sarcastic one. Lowering his eyebrows to the bridge of his nose, he silently studied your terrified look. Maybe Leona-san is right when he calls you a herbivore? Maybe all you can do is just make sharp lunges and then run away with a tail between your legs?

To be honest, Ruggie didn't want such thoughts running through his head. But if what you said to him just now was your sincere feelings, then his reaction was absolutely justified.

“Ya know, it's not like I asked you for taking this on a personal level,” Ruggie pressed his palm harder into the bench, which made you shrink even more from fear. You were sure that Ruggie wouldn't do anything to you. You were scared of your own actions.

“Really? So, the fact that you mock me for not having magic is normal, but when I tell you the truth, you can't accept it anymore? Ha, this is just ridiculous!” Ruggie’s stern expression wavered for a second. You spoke such cruel words with an extremely frightened face and with trembling pupils in your huge eyes.

No matter how you look at it, the situation was absolutely strange. How foreign for you was to say such things to him when you clearly didn't want to feel him undeserving or something.

“Hey, Prefect. Even if I annoy you so much, try to shut your mouth for a second. I hope your not going to knock my teeth out.” Ruggie grinned with an inexplicable heaviness on his heart and pulled out a magic pen.

Nodding obediently, you fell silent. Ruggie moved closer to your face, causing the blood to rush to your cheeks. You looked away in embarrassment, pursing your lips. You wanted to say that he was very close, to play along with his jokes, but at that second everything went wrong so much that a strength left you.

Ruggie wasn't stupid. Free-thinking, carefree at times - yes, and this personality helped him overcome life difficulties with an enviable success. This situation was no exception. Would you, who constantly took care of him and sometimes brought food you did yourself, now scold him so cruelly?

“Listen, I’m sorry, but I need to check something. Come on, get up.” Obeying, you stood up.

“Hmm... can you come to the flower bed?” Not quite understanding what he wanted, you nodded weakly and complied with the request. “Okay, so you're not acting against your will. Can you type what happened?” You shook your head. You left your phone in the dorm at a very bad time. However, you came up with another way out.

Making yourself near the flower bed, you took a dry branch and began scratching out letters on the slightly moist after watering flowers soil. Ruggie peered at the resulting text and gasped.

“Well, what a terrible handwriting you have.” You pretended to sulk, sticking a branch into the ground.

“Okay, okay. The potion, huh… Don't worry, I'll figure it out. Even though I should attend a lesson now, leaving you in this state could be considered as a danger to society, shyehehe.”

Hastily finding your classmates and finding out what was the matter, Ruggie shushed at them and returned with you to the botanical garden. He had already made a mental reminder that after class several first-years would magically find their jackets in the mud… But you don't have to know about that.

“Actually now I think that nothing would have happened if you had gone to attend class. If the potion only works with those who are close to you, then I’m the only one to be afraid in this entire college, shyehehe!”

You jolted at the surprise of his words. He had no idea how right he was.

The lessons were over for today, and you decided to celebrate getting an excellent mark in the Mostro Lounge. It was nice to realize you had brought enough accumulated money to allow yourself to try a new drink on the menu. Why else would Jade boast off his new ingredientscombination he happened to found deep in the mountains, right?

Once there, you sat down at an empty table for two. There were surprisingly many people today, including your classmates. It seems that many people have the same idea as you. Jade and Floyd maneuvered between tables with several trays on their hands, barely keeping up with deliver orders. Azul will be very happy with the income received by the end of the day, that is for sure. Smiling at your thoughts, you didn't notice how Azul appeared in front of you with a menu in his hand.

“Prefect,” Azul smiled charmingly out of his entrepreneurial habit. “Have you decided to honor Mostro Lounge with your presence and increase our profit three times? Considering your popularity and the fact that today you shine especially bright on the pedestal of the most outstanding personalities of our college. Floyd has already told me about your progress in the potionology class. I heartily congratulate you! Well, getting to the point. What would you like to taste, dear visitor?”

You smiled radiantly. Of course, his inner entrepreneur spoke in him, but you still preferred to think that you were at least a little more special to him. Come to think of it, such a long dialogue with such a huge number of visitors probably hinted to you that Azul mixed professional ethics with personal feelings for you.

“Yeah, sure thing. Unlike a useless loser like you, I can make money with my presence alone. Are you envious? And don't even think about deluding yourself. To consume your mediocre garbage from the menu… Who do you take me for?”

Azul thought for a split second that maybe his hearing had let him down. No, mermen had much more acute hearing than humans… So the probability of him making a mistake was minimized. Maybe it was some kind of strange human way of making a profitable marketing move?

While Azul was thinking hard about what you just said, you were seized with horror. Out of all the tender and affectionate words that were in your head, did you actually choose THOSE? It can't be, even in the most disturbing nightmare, you wouldn't dare to insult Azul like that…

“Ha, just look at your face. How pathetic you are, it's getting unbearable to witness.”

Azul could have sworn that something agonizingly stirred in his chest at the moment. A feeling of resentment, almost the same as when he went overblotted, gripped his heart. Now your words no longer seemed like a strange joke or a misunderstanding. You hit those points that you knew were extremely painful for Azul.

Throwing the menu on the table, Azul wanted to order you to get out of here. Turning around, he himself intended to go to the staff room, but you grabbed his arm. The genuine fright on your face made him flinch for a second, but your sarcastic voice echoed in his ears. If he hadn't been overwhelmed by bitterness, he would have heard caustic chuckles at the next table.

“I...” You tried to squeeze something out of yourself, but the tongue moved as if by itself, so you bit it hard. A bitter metallic taste spread in your mouth, and a thin scarlet trickle seeped out, trickling down your lip. Azul tensed, pushing all his thoughts aside for a split second. Something strange was happening to you.

“What is it?” Anxiety took over him as he relaxed his arm in your grip.

You shook your head, refusing to speak. Fortunately for you, Azul wasn’t a fool and was able to put together a logical chain in his head.

“I don't like your trembling and that scared look, Prefect. Let's take you to the infirmary.”

You shook your head again. Physically wise, you were absolutely healthy, even though pretty much panicked. Something told you that a doctor wouldn't help here. After all, anything could happen to a magicless person.

“Okay, then… Can you write?” Azul pulled out a pen from his breast pocket on his uniform and a small piece of paper for notes.

Having tried to write something on a piece of paper denoting your true thoughts, you breathed a sigh of relief when no causticness was found in the words. After explaining everything in detail and apologizing at the end, you raised an awkward look at Azul. Adjusting his glasses, he nodded and pulled on his gloves.

“Thank you for your detailed feedback, dear customer. Your wish is my command,” Azul smiled slyly, finally shifting his gaze to the next table, where your potion-making partners were no longer laughing as eagerly as a few minutes ago.

When Azul held out the familiar gilded sheet, you realized that something obviously unprofitable was waiting for your classmates, and you laughed at the thought. After everything was settled, Azul came back to you.

“As expected, there is no need to worry, although frankly speaking, I was stung by your words. However, it was interesting to find out that all the rudeness you said is a converted version of warm feelings towards me. Well, should we sign a contract so that I can personally serve you in the Mostro Lounge? I am generous enough to accept such a favor in return for your feelings.” A sly smile shone on his face.

You looked away in embarrassment, not sure how much truth there was in Azul's words. However, you also left your true feelings behind a mysterious veil.

❤︎ notes : i'm not really satisfied with this one, but in any case... it was a request from an anon on my previous acc (ayavielle) which got shadowbanned and i wasn't in the mood for restoring it so i'm just posting this again lol i like ruggie and azul parts but as for riddle and kalim ones... idk maybe i'll rewrite this work but we'll see since i'm occupied with a lot of uni tasks but anyway i hope you enjoyed!

#twst #riddle x reader #kalim x reader #ruggie x reader #azul x reader #twisted wonderland

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readmedia777 · 7 months ago

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Step Into Serenity: How Anxiety Coaching Can Change Your Outlook

In today's fast-paced world, it's easy for the pressures of daily life to mount and overwhelm us, often manifesting as anxiety. Anxiety coaching, a specialized form of personal coaching, aims to address these feelings head-on, providing strategies and support to help individuals manage and mitigate their anxiety. By focusing on personalized coping mechanisms and understanding the root causes of anxiety, this approach offers a transformative possibility for those looking to lead a calmer, more centered life.

Anxiety coaching begins by establishing a safe and understanding environment where individuals feel secure to open up about their anxieties. Unlike traditional therapy that might delve deeply into past traumas and psychological analysis, anxiety coaching focuses more on the present and the future. It equips individuals with practical tools to deal with everyday anxiety. Coaches work to identify specific triggers and thought patterns that lead to anxiety, enabling clients to develop proactive strategies to manage their mental state. Visit https://www.increasehealth.co.uk/anxiety-coaching-top-tips/

One of the core components of anxiety coaching is teaching mindfulness and relaxation techniques. Techniques such as deep breathing exercises, guided imagery, and mindfulness meditation are often employed to help clients slow down their thoughts and focus on the present moment. These practices not only alleviate symptoms of anxiety in the short term but also contribute to a long-term resilience against stress.

Goal setting is another crucial aspect of anxiety coaching. Coaches assist clients in setting realistic, achievable goals that are aligned with personal values and life aspirations. By focusing on small, manageable objectives, individuals can feel a sense of accomplishment that builds confidence and reduces feelings of anxiety related to inadequacy or failure.

Furthermore, anxiety coaches often incorporate cognitive-behavioral techniques to help reframe negative thoughts. By challenging and altering irrational or destructive thought patterns, individuals can change their reactions to anxiety-inducing situations. This cognitive aspect is vital as it addresses the mental processes that often underlie anxiety disorders.

Another significant benefit of anxiety coaching is the development of personal coping strategies tailored to each individual's unique needs. Whether it's through writing, physical activity, or strategic social interactions, coaches help clients find what works best for them in managing their anxiety. This personalization makes the coaching process particularly effective, as it empowers individuals to take control of their anxiety rather than feeling controlled by it.

Anxiety coaching also often addresses lifestyle factors that can impact mental health, such as diet, exercise, and sleep. Coaches may provide guidance on how to structure daily routines to support optimal mental health. This holistic approach ensures that the physical factors that may contribute to anxiety are not overlooked.

Importantly, anxiety coaching provides a supportive and non-judgmental partnership. Coaches offer encouragement and accountability, which can be crucial for someone struggling with anxiety. Knowing that there is someone to turn to, who understands the challenges faced and is committed to providing personalized support, can be incredibly reassuring.

The journey through anxiety coaching can significantly change how individuals view themselves and their ability to cope with stress. It often leads to a greater sense of self-awareness and self-mastery, as individuals learn to tune into their feelings and effectively manage their emotional states.

While anxiety coaching can be a powerful tool for many, it's important to note that it is not a substitute for professional medical advice or treatment for those with severe anxiety disorders. However, for many people dealing with everyday anxieties, it offers a viable and effective option to regain control over their mental well-being.

In conclusion, anxiety coaching offers a path to serenity that many may not have considered before. It provides a comprehensive, tailored approach to dealing with anxiety, focusing on empowerment and practical strategies for management. For anyone looking to change their outlook on life and find peace amidst the chaos, anxiety coaching might just be the stepping stone needed to transform their mental landscape.

#anxiety coaching

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uselessboss · 1 year ago

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Case 01 -(7/7)

“What time is it? How long have I been asleep?”

It had been 2 days since the incident with Safir.

She has been working non-stop on her investigation, at night after her shift was over, before it started and between the intervals of the cases she worked on a daily basis. She didn't get to sleep nor eat properly for 3 nights straight, allowing herself only the luxury of going home to take a quick bath and changing clothes to help her stay awake and out of courtesy to her co-workers.

‘Saram, did you see anyone else when you arrived?’

‘No, I don't think so'

Morrigan was dangerous.

It's what her instincts told her. That he wasn't a man you could afford to drop your guard nor underestimate.

Not because of his powers, although it did proved a concern in itself, but because of the clever and cunning mind behind it. Morrigan was incredibly resourceful and skilled at using anything at his disposal to his advantage and didn’t leave anything to waste. Someone that hardly, if ever, left openings to exploit.

“Which makes his recent moves even more dubious"

Morrigan has the charisma to manipulate people. Of that she has no doubt. But to “trust" someone else to do a job that required too many variables to consider seemed out of character for him. More so when the person in question was of questionable character and competency.

The execution of the plan was also very crude and sloppy. From what she could gleam from Saram’s and Safir's testimonies his assailant didn't even check his place of hiding before setting it on fire nor he stayed to confirm if he had succeed in his objective before promptly high tailing from the scene. It simply didn't make any sense, something was clearly there.

Silencing Safir wasn't what he was after.

Inflicting harm to him, destroying his “safe place" and being a potential threat on the loose…

He was using Safir as a bait. A provocation to chase after his assailant.

Because he knew that regardless of the outcome, whether Safir perished or not it wouldn’t matter, she would be forced to act. There was no way she would ask to postpone the imprisonment of his assailant, not when she was the one who failed to secure his safety in the first place. It was her duty and responsibility at this point.

“He is probably trying to buy time, but for what?”

She massaged her temples in aggravation.

There was a nagging feeling that she should know this answer already but for the life of her she had been unable to put the pieces together.

If only she had more time to think…

But she couldn't afford this luxury. She had to focus all her attention on the task at hand if she wanted to settle things as fast as possible.

…Is what she would like to say, but to her dismay she didn't have anything to show for her hard work.

It wasn't as if she didn't know where to begin her search.

Considering Morrigan's modus operandi she knew he had to recruit his “henchman” from a place that invited discretion- An isolated and lawless territory that not even most cops would be enthused to enter without a good reason to do so. It would be a perfect set up to avoid any potential witnesses when combined with the cover provided by a powerful aura of intimidation to drive them away.

She had that figured out. The starting point wasn't a problem at all.

How to proceed from there was the real issue. She has been facing nothing but setback after setback and the complications and problems couldn’t just stop popping up one after another.

The first obstacle was the culprit himself. The only thing she could ascertain was that he was a drug addict that has been homeless for a while with no know living relatives or social ties with anyone. He had no name to addressed as nor roots to call home- The man was practically a living ghost. She had yet to find someone that knew his whereabouts, living or not.

The other problem, and perhaps the most troublesome of all had to do with the place itself. It was a festering ground for crime to thrive so more often than not she found herself caught in a skirmish, being forcef to intervene or apprehend criminals in her vicinity as she couldn't turn a blind eye to calls of help. The never ending conflicts were effectively stalling her to crawl.

She was at her wits' end.

“ I really need a miracle right now.”

She felt her cellphone buzz.

=-=-=-=

“We received a call about a strange and rotten smell coming from an abandoned factory so we came to check.” Hunter explained when she arrived at the scene. “The corpse we found seems to match the description of the guy you asked us to be on the lookout”

She nods in gratitude as Hunter motions everyone to give her space to check the body.

“…Is this the person you were after?” he asks as he bends closer to her.

“Yes. It's him. I am sure”

She didn't even need to look at the body to confirm it. The lingering traces of Morrigan's spiritual power on the man were more than enough proof.

She stood up and looked around.

“Considering his background he should have become a wandering spirit” she frowns as she scans the area carefully. “Yet I can’t feel any other presence here"

There was no way the man went to the afterlife life on his own which meant that someone else had to “help" him.

Her eyes widened as realization dawned on her.

Morrigan exorcised him. To eliminate a potential witness and guarantee that his pawn couldn't become a weapon to be used against him.

She clenches her fist.

“Was there any sign that points at someone else being at the scene?”

“None" he shakes his head. “No handprints or footprints.”

“What about the body itself?”

“There was no signs of damage dealt to the body according to preliminary results” Hunter reported. “At least externally, we have to wait until they do an autopsy on the body to fully determine the cause of the death and if it's of criminal nature or not"

“… Very well. Then in that case call me when the results are available Hunter"

“Huh? Aren't going to stay for the investigation Miller?

“Now that he's dead it doesn't matter anymore. Even if it wasn't the way I wanted things to end at least he was stopped.” She shook her head. “… Besides, I already wasted too much time with him, more than I could afford in fact"

She had an inkling things would end up like this. That she would be sent on a fruitless goose chase only to end up being led to a dead end. She knew that.

It still didn't make it any less frustrating.

“Miller?”

Hunter's voice broke her from her musings.

He looked startled.

She thought back to the words she had just said.

“I am sorry Hunter, I shouldn't have said that. To treat the loss of a precious human life with such callousness… I'm really the worst"

“…”

“I… Have to go. I have some important matters to attend and discuss with Andrews but if anything new comes up then notify me ok?”

=_=_=_=_=_=

“I have to message them"

Might as well do it now while she waits for Andrews to arrive.

“But how should I break it to Safir?” she sighed as her head rested against the back of the chair. “Even if his assailant won't be a threat anymore I doubt that he would find his death any more reassuring"

Telling him to not worry about it and spouting that she will manage things somehow wouldn't be any good either. She already failed him once. At this point her words were nothing more than an empty promise with no power nor worth.

The only option she had right now was to wait and see things to the end.

“The culprit was dealt with. I'm going back to investigating Morrigan" she typed.

“You look awful dear partner, having a rough day?”

“You could say that" she pocketed her phone, letting a small smile as she greeted her trusted friend. “How are things going on your end Andrews?”

“I must say it wasn't hard at all to find information about our dear robber, brat doesn't know how to be subtle" Andrews grinned.

Her partner was truly unparalleled when it came to uncovering information about people's life.

The robber was a young man that recently turned 18. Kid started his life of crime relatively young at the age of 14 after being dared by his peers to shoplift a small store and the praise he earned by his feat only encouraged his behavior to get worse with time. Currently he had taken to consume hard alcohol, drugs and seek fun in less than… Savory places, even as a minor.

“He's the typical case of a spoiled brat full of ego and no brain. Easily influenced to do stupid shit with enabler for parents. His father is the worst offender, which doesn't surprise me at all considering the amount of things under that man's belt. Literally at times.” Andrews disclosed.

“I see… So that's how things are"

“I think I know what Morrigan's goals are now”

“Did you figure something out Miller?”

“Yes, but it will take a while to explain and we are a bit pressed for time so it might be better if we discuss it while we interrogate the suspect"

“You are good to go? What about your other case? How it ended?”

“He was dead"

“Oh. I see…"

Andrews was the only one she has told about the truth behind her investigation- About Safir being a witness in the robbery who confided and trusted her with the evidence and his suspicion of Morrigan's integrity. About how, despite her pledge of protection and their best efforts, Morrigan had found him out and had sent someone to assault him.

‘I understand. Even if his objective was to misdirect us the possibility of his assailant still being a threat to his safety couldn't be ignored. It would also not be good for the kid's mental health, prioritizing his arrest was the right choice.’

Her face softened at the memory.

She was truly grateful for her dear partner being there for her.

"Did you find any evidence? Any proof that points to Morrigan's involvement?"

"None" she shook her head. "His body was taken for an autopsy for a more thoroughly examination but I have a feeling that it will wield no results"

"So the best course of action would be to talk directly with the culprit then"

"No, not him"

It's his father.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=

"WHAT'S THE MEANING OF THIS?!"

"T-They are from the police" the secretary spoke timidly. "They insisted to talk with you"

"We know your son is a criminal and that you are covering him" Miller states bluntly, nodding towards the poor frightened secretary and signaling for her to wait outside the room.

"... I will only talk in the presence of my lawyer"

"Sorry but neither of us can afford to waste more time like that so it would be in your best interest to cooperate with us now and spend a nice time grounded in prison to rethink your poor life choices than what Morrigan has in store for you and your son"

"Who are you talking about?"

"Svi Morrigan, the cop in charge of the case of the armed robbery done by your son." She answers. "His objective is to destroy your "false symbol of power", aka your wealth, your reputation, your credibility, your pride, everything. He will run them all through the mud until you have no hope of recovery."

"What are you doing here?!" she growls.

"I'm here to arrest this man on the charges of... Well, too many crimes for me to remember from memory" Morrigan chuckles. "Also, can confirm that what you said is true Miss Miller. It took me a while to gather enough evidence but I hope he enjoys being sued by all the stores his son has robbed or the wrath of his investors when they found out he has been enbezzling their money or banging some wives to curry favor"

"Ah.... AHHHHHHHH!!!!" The man gets up from his chair, passing Morrigan who doesn't even bother stopping him and out of the room.

"You can try to run away but there are other officers waiting outside you know?"

As if on cue they heard the screams of the man alongside shouts of the cops restraining him.

"Miss Miller, what a fortunate coincidence to meet you here" Morrigan's grin increases as he takes a familiar cellphone from his pocket, handing it to her. "You can now give it back to the boy. I was trying to bait corrupt cops afilliated with this man by showing the evidence but I couldn't register it on the system until I caught everyone for the sake of the boy's "safety. It wouldn' t do any good if someone found about him and tried to erase him after all right?"

"This shameless bastard!" Andrews spat.

"And you are?" Morrigan cocked his head to the side as if noticing him for the first time.

"Daniel Andrews."

"Ohhh I remember you. Or at least your name on the register" Morrigan approaches him, voice condescending. "A word of advice to you: When you are making an investigation you have to be mindful of the order of events you check. The robbery going before our joint operation was too suspicious, you should at least have scrambled the order of the other records to not make it as obvious you know?"

Andrews frows, gripping the chair he was sitting on until his knuckles turned white.

"C'mmon, you are supposed to be Miss Miller right hand. You have to get your act together and stop letting her down" Morrigan chides, shaking his head in disapproval.

"While your criticism is sound" she cuts him off, standing next to Andrews. "It's directed at the wrong person"

"Hum~ Then who it should be directed at?"

"Me, of course. I am in charge here and the one to instruct him how to proceed. If something goes south due to my lack of foresight then it's fair to have the blame fall on me"

"It's pretty rare to see a boss stand up to their subordinate" he hums. "He must feel veeeery lucky to have someone this loyal in his life eh~ Someone that will always welcome you back no matter what"

They both sense it.

Something was... Odd with Morrigan's choice of words. He wasn't saying that just to taunt them.

He was implying something there.

*Trimm~*

They are interrupted from their musings by the sound of her cellphone.

"Miller speaking"

"The results of the autopsy are out"

"You sure are popular Miss Miller" Morrigan chuckles. "Well, I will leave you to your devices for now as I also have to wrap things on my end. See you later~"

"..."

"...Miller?"

"I'm on my way"

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

"What's the situation over here Hunter? Find anything relevant?"

"Traces of drug on his system and by the amount found chances are that it was the cause of his death"

"Was the death caused by an "assisted overdose"?"

"No. The state of his internal organs point to it being a result of prolongued use of several and different substances mixed in"

"Was there anything else of interest?"

"We found vestiges of gasoline around his mouth. Nowhere else like the drugs so it didn't seem as if he had ingested it"

It was just as she had predicted.

As she scanned the contents detailing the man's autopsy the mystery behind his death unveiled itself.

His body was wasting away for quite a long time. It was just a question of time before he dropped dead, Morrigan didn't need even need to dirty his hands to get rid of him.

No. What he needed was to guarantee that he lived "just enough" to see his plan through.

Morrigan had injected "life force" on this man.

"And the gasoline... I bet he stole it from a vehicle" Miller grits her teeth. "Considering his background it will come off as a desperate drug addict trying to make quick buck to buy more drugs"

Morrigan won this round.

But not this war.

"Hunter could you do a favor for me?"

=-=-=-=-=-=

"The food here is good so why not?" Miller shrugged.

"Instructing your subordinate to inform your location to "anyone looking for you" seems rather deliberate, were you expecting me?"

"I guessed that you would try and check my reaction"

"Hahaha~ I admit, I am rather curious about it"

"So? Satisfied?"

What a woman.

Even after everything she went throught Miller didn't give in to despair nor allowed herself to be crushed by adversity. Despite the tell tales of exhaustion she still held herself with dignity, grace and strength.

As she proceed to eat her meal he couldn't help but think how his admiration for her grew even more.

To have their meeting place be where they had their "date" and to choose to nonchalantly dine in front of him under this circumstance was nothing short of a power move.

"You don't seem the type to act indifferent when lives are at play so by your composure I can assume the kid is alive and well?" He probes.

"He is. Also pretty mentaly strong and surprisingly dealing it better than I thought"

"So neither side lost anything in the end eh~? I guess this makes it a draw between us then?"

Miller laughs out loud.

"A draw? Is that what you really think it is?" she gives a sardonic smile.

He wasn't expecting that reaction.

"You did as you pleased only because you were incognito before. But things have changed. Now, thanks to the kid you underestimated you were finally exposed. To me of all people, someone that has access to the same powers as you" Miller scoffed, lips quirking up as if in amusement. "And didn't you have to reveal quite a lot of tricks already? Not a good look on you dear magician"

She leans closer, voice dangerously low and cold.

"There's only so much you can do to cover your tracks. You are bound to run out of options" she whispers. "I can wait until then because I can be rather patient you see?"

I'm hunting you.

My prey.

He hears it. The sound of inumerous flaps of wings as birds flee in fear. The screams of people as they drop on the floor on their knees, unable to move, pinned down by the overwhelming pressure exerted by Miller's incredibly hostile, aggressive and murderous aura.

Her killing intent was so intense that even his body was being forced to submit.

It was aware, on an instinctual level of how dangerous the person in front of him was.

She intensifies her grip on his face and then let it go.

His body falls with a thud on the table.

Miller walks away. Not sparing a single glance nor word to him on the way out.

She's like an actor. An actor who signals the end of the play with their exit, her final words dictating how the tale concludes.

"Holy... Shit..."

His brain was still trying to process what just happened.

He lets out a breathless laugh.

"I'm really in trouble this time"

#my useless invincible boss #crowa miller(useless boss)#wolf hunter(useless boss)#daniel andrews(useless boss)#svi morrigan(useless boss)

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astrolovecosmos · 3 years ago

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Imum Coeli and Midheaven: Inner and Outer World

The Imum Coeli (IC) is the sign at the beginning of your 4th House, the Midheaven (MC) will always be the exact opposite of that sign at the beginning of the 10th House. The IC is the inner self, roots, past, upbringing, private self. The MC is your most outer self, reputation, ambition, career. The IC/MC sit on an axis and always have a relationship to each other.

Libra IC - Aries MC: We see a struggle for expressing identity or needs when among family, growing up, and within their inner self. The Aries MC finds freedom in the outer world, maybe in the professional world by standing alone and being an individual. The Aries MC can seem aggressive, confident, competitive, or in charge when in the outer world of school, work, organizations, or larger or more shallow social events. But at home, in their closest relationships, in their private life they are used to cooperation, adapting to others, tries hard to keep the peace or harmony, and may be a people pleaser or lack discipline. There can be a complicated relationship with attention and admiration. In their private life they seem to be praised the most for obedience, compromise, and light charm. But they can find empowerment and a rush in being praised or admired for rebellion, conflict, speaking up, and passion. In the outer world they may stir up drama just for the attention or to feel liberated. At their best they embrace their more level-headed, calm inner self as someone valid, precious, and important but when in the outer world finds ways to get in touch with the warrior side of them. The MC learns to stand up for themselves and fight but must tap into the IC to do this without giving into pettiness, immaturity, or malice.

Scorpio IC - Taurus MC: The Scorpio IC can be very secretive about their inner self. In fact hiding the self and feelings from family due to fear that they may seem too intense or sensitive is associated. They were likely a willful child or willful within their most inner self. This will can be contained by the Taurus MC’s calmness or practicality but ultimately their determination and strength will always be with them. For Taurus MC “determination” is their main keyword. To protect the more vulnerable and hurt side of their IC they can adopt an unmoving, stubborn, logical, and level-headed persona that the outer world can’t shake or pierce. This person is highly security conscious. The Scorpio IC feels safe by hiding their emotions and intensions. The Taurus MC feels safe through physical resources, wealth, and possessions. The Taurus MC might also feel safe by being in control and relying on their own predictableness and steadiness. The depth, mystery, and power within the inner self is not muted by the Taurus MC, but is underestimated and buried. There can be a great balance here between the rationality of the MC and the emotional, intuitive, and fierce IC. However they need to be careful not to let their fear of betrayal or fear of lack of control to get in the way. They contain and shelter a lot of potency from the outside world, sometimes they have a need to let that out!

Sagittarius IC - Gemini MC: The Sagittarius IC has a need to be free. Maybe that is free from controlling parents, a religion, old traditions, or even from a mindset they are used to from an early age. Through a Gemini MC they’ve developed an outer self that is persuasive and charming - charming enough to help raise them to the top and out of whatever traps them. The Sagittarius IC can also indicate someone who moved around a lot or was exposed to many different ideals and people when young. There is a flexibility and versatile nature to their youth and programming. This carries with them into an MC that is highly curious, adaptable, and finds it hard to be satisfied with just one hobby, career, or subject. The association with passion, a zealous nature, and impulsiveness exists here. This could mean being an impulsive and energetic kid or this could mean growing up in an environment that was highly charged, fiery, and volatile. While there can be inner passion or being familiar with passion, their MC presents a much more cool headed, logical persona. With intellectual pursuits this person can find an escape from raging emotions and impulses. Sagittarius is connected to cons, exaggerations, broken promises, and false beliefs. This may manifest as feeling disillusioned by what one is taught as a child. They may feel tricked by family at some point. Or tricky behavior or a grandiose, over excitable nature has been engraved in them. In the more detached, always changing MC they can either still practice this more reckless behavior or let it all go with an outlook that wants to observe, study, and connect with others, even if those connections can sometimes be more surface level. They have a thirst for knowledge that is natural to both the inner and outer self. The Gemini MC has an open mind that can help fulfill the needs of the Sagittarius IC.

Capricorn IC - Cancer MC: The Capricorn IC is well known for having a burdened or restricted childhood. There is an emphasis on growing up fast, taking on too much responsibility, strictness, being pressured and criticized, or being taught to repress emotions. The Cancer MC desires connection to the outside world, while emotions are hard to express they learn how to be good at making others feel comfortable, at appearing trustworthy, and sometimes they may learn how to reach out to create their own family via friends and coworkers. They have a personable touch in their approach to the professional or outside realm. This may seem very contrast to who they are privately, a much more colder, controlling, and restrained individual. There can be a desire to protect and take care of others. Capricorn is a fellow provider and protector however the need to take care of others, even nurture them could come from a desire to express feeling and affection. They are more comfortable expressing love or admiration through actions vs. words. However due to a desire to connect deeply with others they can easily get used and burned. Both Cancer and Capricorn are guarded individuals, and they learn fast to be skeptical and perceptive however it is hard for them to refuse a friend or coworker who asks for help or comfort. They can be deeply sympathetic. The outside world can see an approachable and understanding person but when you get close there is a heaviness or melancholy about them. They put on a very different warm and inviting face to the public. It is very important for them to get in touch with their inner child! A journey to learning how to express their emotions will likely be a long one, but it is such an important adventure when it comes to finding fulfillment. The Cancer MC is a way for them to find that closeness they crave, but they need to be careful of making bonds too quickly and being taken advantage of. Their inner self desires stability and safety to express their true feelings and self, the outer self craves closeness, softness, and to feel like they help or care for others. Many times the outer self tries to find closeness through careers that involve taking care of others or by quickly adapting and joining groups of friends/people.

Aquarius IC - Leo MC: The IC of the “outsider” is the stereotypical interpretation for the Aquarius IC. Another common association is feeling detached or being estranged from family. Growing up in an environment that pushed for independence, conformity, and aloofness is associated. Growing up with influences that promote a strong sense of individuality can manifest too. The Leo MC desires esteem, recognition, and maybe fame. The Leo MC wants to stand out and be admired. An Aquarius IC who felt left out or alienated when young may learn how to be flashy, loud, attention-grabbing, and unique to feel more loved and accepted. They may use confidence or show off their intelligence and talents to gain admiration. Aquarius and Leo are both original and individualistic people, there is a drive to stand out and be genuine for the sake of living their best life. To the outside world they try to gain a sense of belonging, warmth, and passion through a fiery and sometimes selfish approach. The Leo MC can strive for luxury, class, influence, power, and praise - this can be sought after in many different ways. As a child or young person they could have had a side to them that was very altruistic, but through life’s trials they may have found more strength or empowerment by focusing on the self. There is positivity in both - the Aquarian nature to be driven by humanitarian pursuits and Leo’s self-love. They need to balance these parts of themselves. The outer self craves recognition for talents that may have been ignored or criticized when younger. The outer self may crave excitement and zeal the younger self was never allowed to explore and experience. They need to be careful of falling into egotistical behavior, arrogance, or chasing after fool’s gold. Confidence can also be a complex subject. Some play into a false, larger than life confidence to hide their fears while others grapple with a desire for real confidence but tend to fall back into the background. There is comfort in observing others rather than being in the limelight, this comes from the cool, airy IC. The charisma and ambition of their MC will take them far, the quirkiness, playfulness, self-reliance, and inner wisdom from the IC still needs to be respected.

Pisces IC - Virgo MC: This person has a very sensitive, fragile, intuitive, and imaginative inner self. When younger there can be a lack of boundaries, a lot of uncertainty, vagueness or confusion, manipulation, illusions, sheltering and over protection, or even spiritual or psychic attacks. To have a sense of boundary and stability they may grow to have a very cautious, maybe rigid, maybe prudent, skeptical, shy or reserved, and logical outer self. The Pisces IC inner child is fluid, indulges in fantasy, can be dreamy or whimsical, is kind, and giving. The Virgo MC locks this away with criticalness and maybe even harshness. This person can be prone to beating themselves up, especially with their interactions and performance in the outer world. The Virgo MC strives for perfection, always seeks to improve, likes to be seen as useful, smart, and put together. It is very important that the Virgo MC is appreciated for their help or talents and is seen as capable. The Pisces IC can indicate a person who is seen as “soft” or overly sensitive by family or close loved ones. There may be an urge to prove ones self or to seem like they don’t need help because of this. Pisces has a desire to heal and Virgo to serve, this person can feel pulled to help others. However Virgo’s over practicality can stunt the caring side or creative side of their IC. The Virgo MC’s desire or knack for helping other people can lead them to fulfilling careers but there can be a part of them that is too focused on trying to be flawless to really dive into their best path. The Virgo MC’s reliability, attention to detail, and realism can help protect them from being used and helps them set up boundaries. The Pisces IC has a gentler inner voice that they need to be careful not to ignore.

Aries IC - Libra MC: Anger, identity, and independence are focuses in childhood or earlier years. Aries IC can be taught and raised in a hostile environment, an environment that promoted conflict, competition, anger, and aggression. They may have been raised with a lack of closeness and nurturing, promoting independence and separation. The Aries IC may be used to fighting. They had to develop thick skin as well as a defensive ego. The Libra MC gives them a chance to find peace and detachment. Due to a harsher environment growing up the Libra MC can have a huge need to be liked. They could have felt like they were always criticized and battled against when younger, in the outer world they present a calmer, charminger, and pleasing persona. With all that “battling” they may have learned or adapted to mediate. Both Libra and Aries tend to be social, dynamic, and sit on a contrast of self-awareness. Aries has a focus on self-love, identity, setting boundaries, and going after their wants and needs. Libra many times has been pinned with being the least self-aware sign. Libra can be associated with shallowness, detachment, and wanting to hide away from pressure, intensity, darkness, or flaws, especially the flaws and conflict within the self. Allowing their individuality to shine and to find inner peace among their internal conflicts is important. While the Libra IC - Aries MC is about fighting to express identity, the Aries IC - Libra MC is about finding peace and love for the self and identity.

Taurus IC - Scorpio MC: Routine, stability, and security are important to the Taurus IC. This person may have grown up with a lot of structure and stability or a very chaotic environment that made them crave dependability and solidness. Early on they developed into a more pragmatic and reliable person, either by being raised this way or out of necessity. Taurus desires unchangeability and assurance, Scorpio can desire control and power. This person may learn that the best way to stay in control of their world is through intuition, intensity, and manipulation. The Scorpio MC allows them to follow their passion and gives them curiosity about the unknown, it can be a pathway from breaking free from their fear of instability and change. But this person will always struggle with letting go of control. The inner self can find peace and stability within them, but the Scorpio MC can be hypnotized and tempted by the idea of just letting their emotions go wild. They can also have a side to them that feels power hungry once they realize all they are capable of. The Scorpio MC tends to be attracted to all types of careers and they are known for a reputation that makes a mark on others. This placement reminds me of a timid child or overly practical person who tries something dangerous or crazy once and then it changes them forever. While following their passions and intuition can be freeing, they will always need to battle a need for inner security, overcome unhealthy dependency or attachments, and learn that they can’t worry about things outside of their control.

Gemini IC - Sagittarius MC: The Gemini IC is known for struggling to have their voice heard as a child. Communication and learning are key so this can also mean struggling in school/education, a lack of knowledge and encouragement from family members, or it can also mean growing up in a household that was highly communicative and/or focused on education. Both Sagittarius and Gemini are curious and are eternal students. Their curiosity stays with them even throughout adulthood. The Gemini IC can be used to a highly changeable environment, their Sagittarius MC can help feel more focused and at ease by always looking towards the future. But the Sagittarius MC still tends to be impulsive, maybe reckless, and scattered when trying to pick a career, go after a goal, and finish a project. Learning to work with their flexibility and taking advantage of their energetic nature is important. The Gemini IC can feel ignored as a child. The Sagittarius MC can be loud, opinionated, snappy, and passionate - this allows them to gain the attention they need and to be heard. In the outer world the Sagittarius MC is heated and goes off instinct, in the inner world the Gemini IC is more detached, is driven by logic and intellect, is airy, maybe playful or whimsical, always willing to learn, share, and listen. They may act like the student at home and teacher in the professional/external world. Sagittarius and Gemini are associated with both “student” and “teacher” archetypes. Knowledge is power to this person but what matters most to them is finding those who are willing to listen to them. The inner self craves someone who is open to hearing their thoughts, dreams, needs, and gossip or stories. The outer self, what their reputation is based off of desires to be the person others get advice from, get knowledge from, and are inspired by.

Cancer IC - Capricorn MC: The Cancer IC comes from a sensitive place much like the other water ICs. They could have grown up in a highly close and attached family, a family that was overprotective, being very close to their mother, was raised where family loyalty was everything (maybe taught that they had to be loyal to family, even if their family wasn’t the healthies/treated them right), could have been coddled, and abandonment or lack of nurturing is also associated. The Cancer IC marks an inner self that is very soft, nurturing, caring, affectionate, and vulnerable. But the crab always hides behind a touch exterior. Even as a child while they may have been hurt easily they learned quickly to hide tears. Their closest loved ones likely see them as a nurturer, caregiver, protector, or healer. The Capricorn MC is highly ambitious! They tend to present a self-controlled, disciplined, no nonsense, and authoritative outer self. This person may have felt too sheltered, undermined, or taught that their softness wasn’t valuable and learned how to interact with the outer world through a hard and commanding approach. The Capricorn MC is calculated, logical, and their hunger for material and social success can be great. While the Capricorn MC can be helpful in gaining boundaries and inner authority - there is always a quest for more and the subject of self worth can be tricky. The Cancer IC is about caring and it could be they were forced to take care of themselves and others at a young age, hurling them into adulthood early and towards a colder form of independence. But both Capricorn and Cancer have a desire to attach and depend. Many times chasing after material success helps boost their feelings of worth, it makes them feel more secure, and respected. Finding a balance between career and the physical and family and the emotional is vital for them.

Leo IC - Aquarius MC: A lot revolves around attention and praise for the Leo IC. They could have been the center of attention, an only child, spoiled, or the golden child. They could have also been neglected and attention starved, or maybe they were constantly put down and scolded, rarely hearing praise. Disappointing their family may be their worst nightmare. They could come from a family with a high standing in the community, has a very demanding and set code of beliefs, or a family that places a lot of emphasis on honor and good behavior. The Aquarius MC tends to go after careers that are unconventional, they have a unique reputation, and may have a drive to help others on a big scale or change the world. Leo and Aquarius are both leaders and this person has an inner leader and an outer one. The inner one can sometimes come from a selfish place of wanting power and adoration. The outer one see’s things with clarity and objectivity and acts in the best interest of a group/collective. The inner leader may have been taught entitled and arrogant values but learns about the human condition and to be tolerant and giving throughout life. Or the “inner leader” could have had selfish streaks when young as a rebellion towards the hurt they experienced. The Aquarius MC may act "quirky”, extreme, or try to stand out to gain attention they lacked in childhood. Or through a healthy sense of self-esteem they were able to grow into the unique individual that they are. The Leo IC at their best can be good-hearted, affectionate, loves in a big way, and generous. The Aquarius MC in relation to the big hearted and generous side of their IC wants to give back and does so with intelligence and originality.

Virgo IC - Pisces MC: The Virgo IC could have grown up with a lot of expectation, with strictness, and a lot of criticism. Their parents may have held them to higher standards than other siblings or have demanded perfection from them. They can also grow up in an environment that was highly rigid, structured, and didn’t have a lot of room to explore emotions, creativity, and intuition. The Pisces MC finds it hard to deal with practical matters, doesn’t bother with the details or logic, and operates in a much more fluid, creative, and intuitive way. The MC in a way can act like a rebellion against the pragmatic, humdrum they are used to. The Pisces MC gets labeled with a lack of drive and ambition, I think this is an unfair take. They can just prioritize other things in life other than work or material things like friendship, family, spirituality, and art. Also they can take a more relaxed approach to goals and ambition in order to be free of high standards of their upbringing. They may have grown up being taught a very certain way to behave and interact with others. The Pisces MC allows them to take things personally and they treat others how they treat them rather than with fake politeness, or the opposite - judgment. While the Virgo IC needs stability and maybe devotion in their private life, they want to be seen as the easygoing one, the imaginative one, or elusive one. There is healing and awakenings through their MC, but giving their inner child some sense of security is important. Combining the caring and subtle, humble wisdom of both signs can be powerful. They may find a lot of fulfillment by helping or taking care of others, as long as it is on their own terms.

#imum coeli #midheaven #mc #ic #astrology #zodiac #aries #taurus #gemini #cancer #leo #virgo #libra #scorpio #sagittarius #capricorn #aquarius #pisces #natal chart #axis #Medium Coeli

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plutoswrath · 4 years ago

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☾ They way we are wired: the IC/Moon/4th house and your emotional patterns and responses ☽

Aries IC/Moon/4th: Home was an area of proof. Proof the self and prove the others, similar to Scorpio IC/Moon/4th, the marsian nature of this placement triggers a survival mode and creates someone who’s first instinct is to react and challenge their opponent. Home could have also been a battle ground of some sort and the individual might have realised that the only way to overcome this force of aggression is to rely on the self or find people to align to. Naturally this can give someone tendencies to retreat and chose the themself, but not in the intention to harm, but because the survival mode is triggered. They might have learned to follow their impulses, because the quicker they react, the faster they have the upper hand of a situation, and while this method does saves time and trouble, this could have easily lead to worsening their situation, and thus they can also fall back into a lesser known method: strategically planing their (loved ones/goals/desires) survival. As they know no other than bravely facing the world, their open nature can become inviting for people that want to try them, though out of experience, they will not take their enthusiastic nature for granted. Likewise these people are power houses that can have the tendency to forcefully and sometimes without consideration push those aside that limitat them.

Taurus IC/Moon/4th: Usually, these people have been raised with a sense of satisfaction, stability was a priority for the parents, so the child seeks the same comfort and worries for the future can motivate them deeply to take action. Tough the satisfaction doesn’t have to include emotional fulfullment always, as the parents made their values and priorities very clear. Likewise this individual will walk through the world with (at best) set priorities and will actively try to meet their own standard. Anything that threatens to make this tower collapse will force them to react, and depending on their inner security and self-worth/esteem they can react quiet drastic and dramatic even, as this is the time when the bull will fall into it’s tantrum. This can also lead into destructive and forceful ways to either withold, keep or get what brings them pleasure or eases their mind. If they feel that there’s something lacking in their life, they usually practically and persistently work towards it and at best aren’t easily shaken, but there is a great sensibility inside of them, that can cloud their mind equally with fear and the realization of what is and isn’t healthy for them (emotionally and physically) could only come after a peroid of walking through the mudd for far too long.

Gemini IC/Moon/4th: This persons ubringing was most likely unstable and inconsistent, which is most likely reflected by the behaviour of one of their parental figures (or both). Likewise, they had to allow, as well as endure, uncertainty in their childhood. Thus, they are flexible and adaptive and thus can appear as very affable but there is a lack of perspective and continuity in their life that can cause them to lose track which results in them having to reorient themself (which they can find much pleasure in at times). This can be traced back to their parents, as either both parents reflected the other so much, that they could have formed to seemingly one individual (this can also hint to a single parent having to take on ‘two roles’). If the native has siblings, this reflecting of one another can also happen between them, thus the individual automatically sets themself apart from the rest in their mind. As the child grows up, it might realise that it could lack perspective and purpose and emotions that help them connect the dots, to now the person could fall back into rationalizing everything in order to make sense out of it. There is strong need to communicate to release tension, they listen to all because they try to at least understand all. While this can help building a distance to overwhelming emotions and situations, the problem also lies exactly in the inability to allow the self to become closer to those bigger concepts and grande emotions which leave them dissatisfied or even more confused.

Cancer IC/Moon/4th: These people always come back to their roots: Usually, they handle from experience and knowledge that is passed over, when the IC/Moon/4th house is in cancer, the individual will find themself in a very strong and empathized conenction with their family - doesn’t matter if it’s more on the positive or negative side. Here the individual will find themself having to care for (generational) family matters and thus can connect well to the emotions and affairs to others, but often times neglect themself. With a bond so deep, they (surprisingly for some) can come off and become pretty detached, as they at one point can be easily overwhelmed with the emotional bagagge and responsibility they carry. They either detach and seek to break the conenction with whatever bothers them, or they embrace the situation and ‘clean up’ the mess. These individuals will find themself too much inclined with other peoples emotions and/or problems, and usually will grow to become independent (financially and emotionally) in order to adapt a more objective perspective. These people can be incredibly enduring and persistent in their approaches to others/situations and they allow time to speak, though, they sometimes should know when to let go and build distance for their own good.

Leo IC/Moon/4th: Home could have literally functioned like a pack, it doesn’t matter if the person has siblings or not, even though home was a place for experiencing joy, creativity and warmth, it was also a place of hierarchy. These people usually have a very complex relationship to others - at one hand they need their pack, it’s their support system, their backbone when they have a hrd time standing up by themselves and they do need the validation and recognition, but at the same time they could feel threatened by people overpowering them, the idea of being too dependend on the love and support of others makes them doubt themselves and distrustfull and often times they feel the need to prove their strength or worth, just as a lion has to fight off a challenger, not only for the pack, but also for the pride. They either come back to their supportive ‘pack’, as they usually create this safe space of trust, comfort, security, encouragement and love, or they become prideful, bold and loud and try to get the upper hand and authority back. The strong desire to prove worth and obtain love might stern from a difficult relationship with a parental figure. There might have been not a healthy amount of attention given to the individual.

Virgo IC/Moon/4th: This person comes from a place of just and order. Here, they fall back into disecting the world and people around them, they are driven to find a solution. They can easily get hung up on small emotions/details, there is a potential to overanalyze situations, but the thought of order is imprintent in their minds, acting ‘rightful’ and ‘appropriate’ makes them orient themself to any kind of rule or pattern they can follow. These individuals want to avoid the feeling of embarassement/shame, probably due to past issues in their homelife, so they calculate possible outcomes right from the beginning. They prevent. With this placement though, people usually experiences a ‘lack of’ in their homelife. This could have been caused by a permanentely dissatisfied parental figure, even though the wound is emotional, the solution or apparent problem mainfested as something materialistic and this mindset is carried on as they grow up. Though these people seem to think about everything, the challenge appears when their solutions in the 3D world are not enough: when they have to face their and otehrs feelings as the working surface they can find themself irritated and trying to escape the ‘irrationality’ and feelings in their perception of logic. They need to pay attention to not become too controling, compulsing or discrimenating and trust others.

Libra IC/Moon/4th: This persons upbringing was deeply influenced by the realtionships in their family, and strongest by the ones of their parents. It can se the tone of the way they lead all their connections and calls for a deeper self reflection and a sense for self-determination and initiative from the individuals side. It’s true that the image one gave off and focusing on the others played a major role in the way they were raised. Here, the individual might have a strong desire to put things 'back into place', they try to rebalance and adjust everything, their own and others emotional states, because only if harmony is reached, then peace can be sought after. The focus here can sometimes lie too much on the superficial aspects, as they might have experiences that as they grew up the way things were presented to the public eye were one of the outmost important aspects of being raised and thus they can also mistake other feelings as their own. Regardless, it could have pleased their parental figures a lot, so now they fall back into 'pleasing the self and others'. This can lead to shallow behaviour in order to keep the native safe and sound, but their deep understanding of how people function and things just connect to each other can makes them equally caring and loving, but holding a healthy balance between those two aspects seem to be the difficulty here.

Scorpio IC/Moon/4th: These people come from a very vulnerable place. The homelife might have forced them to go through extremes that induced a lot of fear inside of them, causing them to be extra cautious and sensitive towards their environment. They might carry a deep sens eof responsibility for others as well, as their homelife could have relected the merging of affairs and ressources of the parental figures and the consequence of being each others responsibility. A Scorpio IC/Moon/4th house can give anyone a very emotional and deep side and if the situation calls for it, trigger a survival instinct inside of the native. They might cling to people more than other expect or use methods to guarantee their own well-being and safety that have the potential cross boundaries/limits. These individuals could have seen and experienced a lot, so they come prepared and stand their ground. Can be surprisingly 'lone wolfs', because they too need their time alone when hurt and appreciate not only solitude but loyal people in their life, and they usually walk through fire for those who are worth it.

Sagittarius IC/Moon/4th: The upringing most likely left the individual on their own at one point or another, it doesn’t mean that the parents were not loving or careful, but absent at some point and left the native to travel alone and find their ways. These individuals only want to be unhindered and free. They grew up with big ideals that could also been imprinted by their parents, though equally confronted with all the world has to offer and at the same there could have been strong believes that made them feel small, caged in, clouded their perception and thus triggered their sense for self-determination. Whenever they feel pressured they search for the best way to become free again, this can trigger a very reactive side of them, they will let go without any warnings and search for new, safer grounds, because for them there's always a next destination that surely will offer a better stay. This can make them appear lonely to others (though these people have the ability to attract new friends easily with their curious nature), but falling can feel like flying to them, so even though part of the journey they'll be alone, they mostly enjoy it.

Capricorn IC/Moon/4th: The upringing here had the fulfillment of necessities as one of the top priorities and the focus on the materialistic world might have made on of their parental figures a strict judge and often times turned the air around them cold. Being used to uncomfortable weather though, these people can pretty much turn on a steel mask and just walk through the toughest storms if it comes down to it - they are experienced in handling difficult situations and being on their own. Being self-sufficient and rationalizing precarious situations to get the control back is their talent, but mostly because it has always been that way. There was always something missing and a possible distance towards their parental figures, so they learned quickly how to get it all themselves or how to be on their own when their parents (consciously or unconsciously) decided to seperate the child from the source of care and warmth. They usually accept the solitude that comes with it, because things just have to get done somehow. But they should be reminded not to overuse this 'special ability', because it can make them feel very out of touch with their emotions and themself.

Aquarius IC/Moon/4th: Either this individual found themself set apart by circumstances caused by their family or society, or there was an individual attempt to own themself and their differences compared to the rest of their family. These people most likely experienced a frequent change in their home life, either their family constellation changed abruptly or their home setting, regarldess, this caused them to build a distance to either people or places. This distance can bring not only a objectivity and practicality to their approaches, but also an usually unjust associated coldness. These people have used their (sometimes unwanted) freedom for their own benefit at best and value their opportunities to go out in the world and recognize themselves in various people/concepts/places, thus this makes them a person that not only connects easily with the greater collective, but also might find themself fighting for what is not theirs. This can be due to an avoidant attachement style, but often times their search for themself in this wide world makes a limit of self expression, freedom or peace the biggest trigger. If someone challenges their boundaries they either get surprisngly reactionary or can easily cut them off. They are okay with moving on and leaving places or people - or at least have accepted this as a part of their own progress -, but at times it can appear too easy and should raise the question of when to deepen the bond for others.

Pisces IC/Moon/4th: They come from a place of universal love and understanding. The household involved parental figures that were not transparent and made them rely on their gut instinct and intuition, yet, could have deceived the child by witholding information or family secrets. It's not guaranteed that these people had a safe upbringing, because they were most likely flooded with emotions and other peoples energies, thus making them highly sensitive and receiving, even if they don't want to. Chances are high that they too quickly were exposed to emotional affairs and secrets of the family they could not understand and might have had to act as their parents pandora box, filled with all that should rather be left unseen and unheared. These people will most likely fall into a deep state of retrospective, they either take things as they are or need to emotionally 'digest' them. These people often 'surrender', meaning they either go back in receiving mode and understand and accept. Thus, they can be very forgiving as well, once they made their sense out of it. People can take advantage of this trait, or the individual themself might not realize that their cut their own flesh at times. The sensitivity of these people may not be as surprising as with Scorpio IC/Moon/4th people, because it always radiates in the way they connect with the world and people.

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theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin · 4 years ago

Note

You said in another post you don’t believe the Knights of Walpurgis (aka Death Eaters 1.0) were all that plausible. Why is that?

Oof, this is a larger ask than I think you intend that gets into a lot of controversial things. Though, I suppose that’s what this blog has become.

Remember when I just talked about my weird fanfiction? Remember those days? I remember those days.

I guess to start out we need to go at a high level and acknowledge a few things.

For all we know about Tom Riddle’s life we know very little that came from himself. Most of what we know came to us via The Halfblood Prince, in Dumbledore’s lessons to Harry.

Think what you will about Dumbledore, benign or evil, but we can all acknowledge that the man had a clear goal and agenda in Halfblood Prince. Dumbledore was facing his imminent death, suddenly he no longer was looking at years but a few months to accomplish everything he needed to. He knows Harry is a horcrux, knows he himself no longer has time to hunt down Tom’s horcruxes himself, and instead must leave all his work to Severus and, partly, to Harry Potter.

Specifically, he has to groom Harry for suicide.

By the time Severus relays the truth to Harry (never mind that this very nearly didn’t happen in canon and what would Dumbledore do then) Harry must be prepared to sacrifice his own life to stop Voldemort. That, or Severus will have to murder the shit out of him, and that was probably plan B but Dumbledore would prefer it if Harry went along willingly so that the whole thing’s a little less shady. Dumbledore’s not murdering children if the children murder themselves!

This means, in part, convincing Harry that Voldemort is such a monstrous evil that his presence on this earth cannot be tolerated. Voldemort cannot be allowed to survive, even if Harry’s death does not guarantee Voldemort’s destruction, Harry must do it because Voldemort is that bad. There must be no hope, no recourse, and the only action Harry can take is martyrdom.

And so, that is essentially what Dumbledore does.

He gives Harry a series of lessons, hand selecting memories of Tom Riddle’s past (often shockingly innocuous), and then narrates them to tell Harry exactly why Tom Riddle is so evil today. The flimsy excuse of Harry wheedling information out of Slughorn is nice, but not necessary, as Dumbledore has no reason to believe this memory contains information he himself doesn’t already know (indeed, that Tom actually did make six horcruxes as he told Slughorn is a very strange coincidence as we rarely end up doing what we thought or being where we thought we would when we were sixteen).

Per Dumbledore, Tom Riddle was born evil by his very conception, is doomed to be a lowly miserable creature, and that murdering him is effectively putting him out of his misery.

Right, how does this relate to this post?

Well, neverminding what JKR says outside of canon, we learn about the Knights of Walpurgis/Tom’s schoolboy syncophants from Dumbledore. Per Dumbledore, Tom Riddle, while a highly respected and charming student was Evil McEvil who had junior cultists galore. So, you see Harry, the man must die (ergo you must kill yourself).

However, this is frankly ridiculous and not in any way believable.

First, the Hogwarts era when Tom’s in school.

Personally, I believe Tom was regarded 100% as muggleborn. Tom went into Hogwarts with the last name Riddle coming from the muggle world. When he gets sorted into Slytherin he can point to know family members at all (and even if he could would, at best, be considered a low class halfblood). Tom doesn’t know the significance of parseltongue and likely tells no one (I’ll get into this in a few paragraphs). Tom may insist that he could be a halfblood, he knows nothing of his father, but given his origins he himself probably believes he’s muggleborn until he stumbles across the hereditary nature of parseltongue.

Regardless, Tom is impoverished, comes from lower class muggle London, has the last name Riddle, no relatives to vouch for him, and you want me to think that the purebloods sign up to be his cult members?

Even though Tom is terrifyingly talented and brilliant, he will be fighting for respect every inch of the way. At best, I see the Slytherin’s tolerating his presence. Riddle’s tolerable, for a muggleborn, it’s a shame that he has such dirty blood but they’ll admit he’s a talented sort.

However, as soon as he’s out of Hogwarts they’ll drop him like it’s hot.

This is evidenced by a few things. Upon graduation, Tom Riddle struggles to secure employment. He tries for the Defense position but is unvested and a recent graduate, and so is rejected (and when he later tries again Dumbledore laughs in his place and says, “Bitch please, I will never hire you, I just accepted your application so I could spend this interview laughing in your face!”) He does not enter the ministry, which would likely have been far more beneficial to getting him a leg up in society.

No, Tom instead secures employment as a clerk and purchaser at Borgin and Burke’s the wizarding world’s shadiest pawn shop equivalent where he spends his time miserably wooing older women so they’ll sell him their fine goods. Dumbledore tries to convince us this was Tom’s plan, that he somehow knew about the locket beforehand, but this is bullshit. How the hell would Tom know that the heirloom undoubtedly locked away under safe and key had been sold to Borgin and Burkes? And even if he did, why would Tom take up this miserable position doing nothing he wanted to do?

Whatever minions Tom is supposed to have, whatever friends, they dropped him completely, pretended they never knew him, and did nothing to secure Tom’s future.

Now, back to the parseltongue bit since I made a promise. I believe Tom told no one. Had Tom told the Slytherins he was the Heir of Slytherin, this would have spread like wild fire not only across the house but the school. All the staff would remember Tom as Tom Slytherin, Tom would likely have changed his name, and frankly Tom probably would have been able to get into the ministry with a name like that. Tom Riddle’s life would have looked very different.

More, had the Chamber of Secrets episode happened in a world where Tom proves his heritage, he would have immediately been caught. Someone in Slytherin, even if only a few dormmates knew, would have narked on him. Someone would have been jealous, scared, etc. and would have turned him easily over to the authorities. A secret like that simply cannot be kept, it would spread, and there would be no needing to frame Hagrid and none of Tom getting off.

More, I always got the feeling very few knew that Voldemort had once been Tom Riddle. First, it would make recruiting very difficult. Voldemort is the mysterious, beautiful, heir of Slytherin who has come back from abroad to save their country. Tom Riddle is a dirt poor mudblood who comes from decades of incest and squalor.

Given the wizarding world at large does not know who Tom Riddle is (proved by The Chamber of Secrets) I would suspect the vast majority of Death Eaters and Order members didn’t either. Dumbledore was the one who pieced it together thanks, in part, to a ten-year-old Tom Riddle confessing his parseltongue abilities.

If Tom Riddle had told most people he was a parseltongue, far more would have made the connection, it would be common knowledge. Which means, of course, Tom Riddle has no ability to prove his heritage and is thus muggleborn swine.

More, I think Tom wouldn’t want Tom Riddle to be associated with Voldemort. When he becomes Voldemort, he will transcend his lackluster origins and become far more than an ordinary, mortal, man. He will leave the name Riddle behind and no one will remember that boy. He will eclipse his past.

Not to mention, that if Tom gave them the excuse of his heritage, it means giving himself the easy way out in Hogwarts. They won’t be forced to acknowledge him, acknowledge that he’s better than them despite his roots, but instead given the easy excuse of “oh, it’s because he’s the heir of Slytherin, duh”. And I think Tom would loathe the idea of that.

Tom wanting to eradicate the memory of Tom Riddle is especially why I think Voldemort came out of nowhere in the 70′s.

Tom doesn’t want to be recognized as Tom, he wants to be mysterious and originless, to give the purebloods everything they want to believe in. If it’s people he went to school with, they’ll recognize him, he’ll be just an ordinary mortal to them. If it’s their young, stupid, children well then he has a real chance.

Voldemort is a figure of myth, something that appears to come out of legend itself, the savior of his country.

He cannot have origin let alone Tom Riddle’s.

Not to mention the idea that multiple people waited on Tom Riddle for generations, even for decades where we know he went abroad and travelled the world, is utterly ridiculous. Why would they ever do this? What do they even gain from this? And why would it take so long to take over this ridiculously incompetent country THAT ALL OF TOM’S RECRUITS ARE PRACTICALLY SET TO CONTROL (the beauty of the Death Eaters is that they form a good chunk of the Wizengamot, and in using them, Tom Riddle effectively destroys the country from the inside out, which I believe was his true goal the entire time).

If Tom Riddle is so terrible, so horrifyingly competent, then it can’t have taken him fifty years of constant work to topple the country.

So, yeah, there were no Death Eaters 1.0.

#ask #anon #tom riddle #voldemort #the death eaters #the knights of walpurgis

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bisexual-dragon-larryisreal · 4 years ago

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POF THORUGH THE HOUSES🔮

1st House POF

You came into this life to be independent without harming or living in disdain of others’ beliefs. Highly competitive, you like the game of challenge and the thrill of the win. But you must win honestly, without cheating or harming others.

Your opposing position is the 7th and you must not become entangled in dependent relationships. You can be loving, supportive, and caring, and loyal without becoming dependent on the love from another for your happiness.

2nd House POF

You must discover what’s really important in life and stick by it. What makes you feel safe, secure, and on solid ground. 2nd house about security and about “things.” You must only have things that reflect the true-you. Think that painting your second cousin created is ugly? Don’t keep it out where you can see it. Be brave. Don’t’ fall into fads and other people’s expectations of what is of value.

You’ve earned luck with money (unless there are difficult aspects to your part of fortune or other planets in the 2nd). Your projects and goals, have to be in keeping with your true values in order for them to be financially successful.

Your opposing position is the 8th house of other people’s money and possessions. The trick to balance here is to discern what is yours from what belongs to others. This also applies to sexual values. Be your own person and, unless it harms others, indulge in your own sexual values.

3rd House POF

Language and words are important and joy comes from understanding how others think and experience the world around them. You strive to understand how relationships work. This helps you with self-clarity. Your earned karma is a talent for understanding the nature of relationships and communication and in sharing your wisdom with others.

Your opposing position is in the 9th house. Here, the pull is to dismiss the consciousness of humans and immerse yourself in spiritual connections. You might get lost in idealism and miss out of the reality that idealism is expressed through the minds of humans. Being a hermit in a cave or an ashram or pulls you away from the people you are meant to teach. Balance of body, mind, and spirit is your soul’s goal.

4h House POF

Your earned karma is about setting down roots, either figuratively or literally. Nourishing the beginnings of life, plants, pets, ideas, projects, and more are where you shine. Building emotional foundations that can stand the test of opposition is important. Know your heart and stay with it.

Your opposing position is the 10th. Learning that building a foundation that can nourish growth takes time. Impatience and wanting results in an instant will undermine your work. Giving up too soon will derail your destined path. Resist these temptations and your life will work smoothly.

5th House POF

Creativity, expanding the world of possibilities, and expression of your inner self is your earned karma. Dreams become realities, living in joy and happiness through your creations are your path to happiness. Whether you express through art, philosophy, music, empowering others, adventure, discovery, or whatever else, you must be creative to fulfill your chosen path.

Your opposing position is the 11th house. This is the house of friends, organizations, and the dreams and wishes of others. Do not be lured into changing your visions for those of others. Stay true to your creativity and be inspired by others without compromising your expression of what brings you joy.

6th House POF

Work and responsibility are your paths to joy. Using your time and energy will and in practical ways brings you fulfillment and satisfaction. You are good at teaching others how to do this, too. You are good at not becoming mired in the messiness of indecision and emotional quandaries. You can systematize and organize in a way that allows you to breathe freely and enjoy life without confusion and unnecessary burdens.

Your opposing position is the 12th house that draws you into the depth of emotions and inner worlds. To successfully work with the depth of human psyche and not become lost in its maze, compassion is needed. Without compassion, you become ineffective in leading a life of systematic organization. To balance the energies of the 6th and 12th, a study of astrology, Qabala, numerology, and such are systematic enough to address both organization and compassion.

7th House POF

With the POF in the 7th, you are happier and more successful in life when you are in a loving, stable relationship. Being in a loving relationship—of any kind—brings you in closer contact with your greater, spiritual consciousness. The more joy you bring to the others in your partnership(s) the more joy you find in yourself.

Your opposing position is in the 1st house of self-identity. Living out of the opposing position alone means you will always be seeking, but not necessarily recognizing the perfect partner. You have trouble finding your true identity because you never truly connect at a deep level to others. You will have a sense of disharmony and no clear purpose. Life feels meaningless and lonely, even when you are with someone.

The balance is to learn how to connect at a deep level with others. Feel what it is like for them. Experience their love for you and your love for them. Know that their needs are as important as yours. Be willing to sacrifice for the happiness of those important to you, knowing that they will do the same for you.

8th House POF

Others will always be there for you. Solutions will always appear when needed. Discovery of self comes through the gifts and blessings from others. Through others, you learn to be flexible, and welcome change and growth. Your curiosity about what makes things work, how others achieve greatness or amazing skills is what drives you to better yourself.

Your opposing position is the 2nd house of belongings, values, and security. If you live out of this position, you will seek happiness through having things and money. You won’t learn from the failures of others and will make the same mistakes over and over. The tug of war between house 8 and house 2 confuses you about what is worth holding on to and what needs to be discarded or released. The 8th house is there to show you everything that needs to be released because it is damaging or has outlived its usefulness. It will bring people into your life to show you the way. This applies to actions, behavior, people, and material possessions. If you don’t heed the call of the 8th house your life will be one of constantly collecting, acquiring, and being fearful of loss.

9th House POF

Truth, knowledge, wisdom, and expansion is your gift here. You seek to understand life beyond the material and mundane. You seek to know Truth. The far corners of the earth call you so you can experience life in its kaleidoscope of color and texture. You commune with nature and the cosmos itself.

The opposing position is the 3rd house of communication. But it is communication without deep understanding. It is often about defending your position and speaking AT someone or preaching, lecturing, commanding. Living from this point, you would tend to exaggerate, create “alternate” truths, express in ways that glorify you.

Balancing the 9th and 3rd, you have a gift of communicating in a powerful and persuasive way because it comes from a place of truth. You visit other lands to know the people and understand their way of living and communicating. You seek communion with the highest spiritual realms. You can become a great leader in the spiritual world and/or in the realm of helping others become empowered.

10th House POF

The gifts from having your POF in the 10th house are often problematic to achieve. It is about fame, being an authority, that is trusted by others, and living life by your own rules. This comes after sustained effort and developing the emotional maturity to handle it. Holding on to childish emotions or a need for adulation is likely to trigger a tumble from high places.

With opposing position in the 4th house, there is a pull to hide from public life because the compassion for the plight of the world can become a crushing responsibility. The balance is to understand what must be done with clear vision and understanding, having compassion without becoming trapped by it.

11th House POF

In this house, you have the gift of being a true visionary, able to look far into the future and see the path that must be taken for the greatest good. Independence from the traps of ordinary life are a strong urge and you carry a magnetic attraction for those who need to find their way.

The opposing position is the 5th house. This causes a restlessness and a feeling that you MUST do something for the world or for a cause. Sharing the burdens of the cause, project, or good works is grudgingly accepted for, if you don’t balance the 11th/5th axis, you always feel that you are the ONLY one who can do the job—that you are the chosen one and need no assistance. The balance is to realize that in involving others in the process, you are helping them in the highest way for their good.

12th House POF

This is the position of the meditator and seeker of inner peace. Discovering the truth of your inner self and the mysteries of the universe brings your greatest joy. The opposing position is the 6th house of duty. Here you might find yourself trapped in having to “do your duty” in the ordinary world and not be able to indulge in your inner work. The balance is to do your duty without identifying with it but realizing that everything can be a tool for inner reflection. The Zen saying, “What do you do before enlightenment? You chop wood and carry water. What do you do after enlightenment? You chop wood and carry water.” fits POF in the 12th house after a balance between the subtle and material world has been achieved.

POF in the Signs

The sign the POF is in and its opposite sign must be combined with the nature of the house where it resides. The signs show how you can balance the karma associated with the house placement of the POF and its opposing sign.

This is also true if you look at your North and South Nodes. The North node represents untapped possibilities (untapped in past lives). It represents emotional treasures you must work to uncover and develop. The North node is your potential in life. The South node shows stasis, stagnation, and resistance to the changes necessary in order to develop the potential of the North node—but that’s another blog.

Aries

You bring with you from past lives, bravery and a pioneering spirit. Aries is a me-first sign and sure of his decisions and beliefs. Libra is a you-first sign and will suppress her own feelings in order to “keep the peace.” Use the Libra’s ability to weigh pros and cons and to see more than one side of a situation, but don’t get caught up in indecision and living by others’ standards.

Taurus

Embrace what is solid and enduring. You bring with you the ability to build a firm foundation for your life. Don’t get trapped in the judgmental, critical, and observer mindset of the opposing sign. Root your mind in honesty, generosity, emotional involvement with love and the beauties of life.

Gemini

Knowledge, communication, and learning are the gifts you bring with you from past lives. The karma is from the opposing sign of Sagittarius that wants to expand, grow, shine, and experience the adventure of life without really understanding it. Sagittarius judges others without understanding them. Wisdom is the balancer of this axis. Learn, understand, and apply it wisely.

Cancer

This is the karma gift of love, nurturing, and deep emotional connections. A life filled with warmth and closeness is important for you. Your opposing sign of Capricorn, tries to pull you into distancing yourself from feelings and being more pragmatic. This is a good balancer if yo don’t deny your karmic nature of tender harmony with life.

Leo

Leo is about leadership, being a source of inspiration to others, and great achievements but needs to be recognized and repaid for their generosity. The opposing sign is Aquarius, the impersonal doer of good works that seeks to help the masses more than individual and shun personal involvement, the limelight and fame. The balancer is to consider both the individual and the masses. Give without requiring praise and return, yet graciously accept it when given.

Virgo

Virgo brings the gift of organization and analysis to find joy in order. The opposing sign, Pisces flows toward disorder and a let-it-be attitude. Pisces can pull you into a world of intuition, disorder, and deep feeling The balancer and path to joy is to embrace both worlds and to seek order in the nebulous flow of events and time. In Science, the discovery that there is order in Chaos opened up vast discoveries about the universe.

Libra

Libra needs balance, and defines herself by the reflection from friendships and relationships. Libra often has difficulty discerning priorities because she sees all sides of situations. The opposing sign, Aries defines himself by his own standards. Indecision is never an issue. Sometimes rash and in a hurry, Aries often leaves projects unfinished. The balancer is to develop a sense of self apart from others but still consider that they are a reflection of yourself. Take the gift of Aries’ bravery and willingness to take risks.

Scorpio

A Scorpio POF seeks to understand the mysteries of the universe. Scorpio tears down the old and worn out. He seeks to uncover deception and expose bare truth. There is no peace nor patience in pure Scorpio. The opposing sign of Taurus seeks to build a stable, secure existence. There is patience and a peace of mind in the security of a well-built foundation. The balancer is in building from a foundation of truth and in showing others new pathways to their truth.

Sagittarius

Truth, knowledge, and freedom are your keywords. Your fiery energy pushes for more and more, sometimes without a plan or an end in sight, reveling in the sheer joy of expansion. Often there is a directionless drive to have it all. The opposing sign of Gemini brings direction, discernment, and insight into the world of duality. Gemini makes decisions based on the dual nature of things. The balancer is taking the skill of Gemini to see two sides of situations, analyze, and make decisions into the drive toward freedom and expanding your horizons.

Capricorn

Capricorn POF is about form, structure, bridges, focus. The drive is to create in a purposeful, concrete way. You need to take life in your own hands and be in control. The opposing sign, Cancer is nebulous, emotional, watery, freely relying on intuition and “gut feelings.” Allowing the energy of Cancer into your life brings you the ability to experience deep joy in your accomplishments and to freely accept help from others without giving up your authority.

Aquarius

Aquarius POF brings out to the rim of society. You don’t play by the rules and forge your own way, logical or not. Possibilities excite you and you won’t be contained in societies’ box. Freedom and fairness are important. The opposing sign, Leo brings a desire for power and adulation for the gifts you give to the world. The balancer is to turn this need for power inward and transform it to self-empowerment and pride in the work you do the empowers others, too.

Pisces

Pisces POF is about oneness, universality, and the flow of energy that unites us all. Pisces seeks to escape the traps and ruts of mundane living and experience the music of the spheres. The opposing sign, Virgo is grounded, organized, practical. By embracing this part of you and bringing it into the nebulous world of Pisces, you can inspire and transcend the rules of the mundane world to help others discover the cosmos within.

*(I found all of this online looking on this topic)

#astrology observations #astrology notes #astro notes #astrology #aries #taurus #gemini #cancer #leo #virgo #libra #scorpio #sagittarius #capricorn #aquarius #pisces #zodiac signs

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luminescencefics · 4 years ago

Photo

what happens after

Here’s the second part of my HS Fic Slam submission that is completely unnecessary and written (somewhat) under the influence from the NYE bottles of champagne I consumed last night! You don’t have to read the first part for it to make sense, it can completely stand alone. As for warnings: it’s complete and utter smut. Enjoy! x

3k word count

My masterlist

***

Nestled in the far corner of the bar inside the Chateau Marmont hotel after your third (or was it fourth at this time?) tequila on the rocks is not how you intended to spend the remainder of your Friday night. But alas, you were hidden in plain sight in the dimly lit room, right leg crossed over left against the expensive velvet lounge seating, sipping gingerly on your (definitely fourth) cocktail as you wait for your phone to vibrate on the sleek wooden table.

The bar seemed to wake up once the clock struck midnight—a normality amongst the best late night spots in Los Angeles. Situated just off the Sunset Strip, you find yourself not surprised in the slightest that this was the destination Harry requested to meet you at. It’s the quintessential spot, if you truly stop to think about it—close enough to the liveliness of downtown LA but not quite in the epicenter of it all, the ideal amount of faint lighting to make the mood just an inch heavier, and the perfect amount of anonymity to ensure that sneaky iPhone pictures aren’t taken against your will.

While you wait, one hand grasping the half-filled glass and the other calmly resting on your leather-clad thigh, you find yourself aimlessly scrolling through the handful of messages exchanged between you and Harry from this evening.

It all started after the concert when his security guard handed you a barely legible piece of paper with a phone number hastily written on the bottom. Just as the crowd began to disperse, you composed a coy text message that he had answered almost instantly. And once you read the words, I’ve got to finish up at the venue for a bit. Mind waiting at the Chateau Marmont bar for me? I’d love to have that drink x, you were calling your Uber without hesitation.

As if he could tell that you were growing a bit impatient, a new message appears underneath your last response. It was simple, reading, I’m here, and before you could inform him that you were waiting towards the back of the room, two pairs of long legs hidden underneath striped black and white trousers become visible in your periphery.

You look up immediately, smiling when you realize it was Harry.

He looks different standing near you than he did up on the stage an hour and a half earlier. Even though he still had that wildly messy hairstyle, and he still filled out his clothes incredibly well, and he still looked larger than life—you can now make out smaller details that are otherwise impossible to see from the crowd. His eyes are a hazy mix of blues and greens and golden browns and he had a faint layer of stubble surrounding his mouth and when you look a bit closer, you can make out birthmarks that litter his face in an appealing way.

“Hi,” you say slowly, realizing that Harry was making the same identifications that you just were.

“Hi, sorry if I kept you waiting long. Want another?” he asks, eyes begrudgingly falling from your own to the last few drops of tequila sloshing against the bottom of your glass.

When you nod steadily, he turns around with one last smirk before you realize that you hadn’t even told him what you were drinking. But when he reappears, holding two identical glasses and sliding into the open space next to you, the smell of expensive tequila floats towards your nostrils and you’re suddenly impressed.

“Thank you,” you whisper, smiling slightly before bringing the rim to your lips, holding eye contact while you slip slowly.

You try not to notice the bob of his Adam’s apple as he mirrors your movements. You do notice, however, that he angles his body so that his right elbow is leaning against the table, causing his kneecaps to rest against your thighs. And when he flings his left arm over the back of the velvet lounger just gracing the tips of your shoulders, you’re not subtle when you ogle at the crisp Calvin Klein tank top underneath his black blazer.

Your name falling from his lips brings your gaze back to his face. “Thanks for meeting me,” he says, his voice dropping a few octaves. You’re not sure if it’s from the amount of singing he did earlier in the evening or something else entirely, but you are sure of the shiver it causes to fall down your spine.

“Did you think I’d say no?” you ask, lips quirking up into a tantalizing smirk. If he’s going to tease you with his body being a bit too close to yours, you definitely weren’t going to miss out on the opportunity to do the same.

The smug grin decorating his face tells you that he knows exactly what you’re doing. And when he leans a bit closer, uttering softly, “I’d be devastated if you had,” you have a feeling that drinks will be over much faster than you assumed.

After a round of fingers dancing against body parts and lips whispering flirtatious remarks and eyes lingering too long on chests, your assumptions prove correct when Harry closes out his tab with the bartender, calling his driver to finish drinks over at his house in the Hills.

When his hands grip yours as you steady yourself out of the corner booth and towards the front entrance where a black town car is waiting on the pavement, you make sure to rub your thumb against the cross tattoo on his skin. It seems to have worked, because once the two of you are sitting in the backseat, Harry makes sure to keep your body close to his, so that your left side is flushed completely with his right. And when his large palm grips at the leather adorning your inner thigh, you’ve had enough of this flirtatious banter. You want more. You need more.

Just as the partition closes, you turn your body so that your nose is brushing against his rigid jawline and your lips are grazing the thick vein protruding from the side of his neck. Your right foot wraps around his ankle, and with your hand squeezing his bicep you ask, “How long is the drive?”

Harry squeezes your thigh tighter, until you can practically feel his nails ripping the fabric. “Less than fifteen. Think you can wait that long?” His voice is scratchy and his breath is warm against your forehead and you honestly aren’t sure if you can hold off any longer.

“You’ve been making me wait quite a lot this evening,” you tease, the hand not holding his bicep drawing a tantalizing path down the planes of his chest over the thin fabric of his undershirt.

The whine erupting from the back of his throat causes your eyes to fall back towards his. “Promise I’ll make it up to you.”

And before you can spit out a remark, his left hand cups the underside of your jaw and his lips are on yours. It’s not gentle at all—it’s all frivolous tongue and nipping teeth and muddled moans exchanged between parted mouths. The hand on your thigh moves up higher and higher until he’s just underneath your core, and just when you think he’s going to relieve the burning inside of your stomach, he keeps his hands where they are. He’s teasing you just as you were teasing him, and it’s enough to make you growl against his lips.

Before you can swing your right leg over his hip and begin nipping at his neck, the car comes to an abrupt stop. Harry removes his lips from yours, his thumb rubbing against your swollen lower lip in awe. The door suddenly opens, and you don’t even take in your surroundings as he practically drags you through the front door and up the stairs into his bedroom.

The room is dark safe for the moonlight flooding through the balcony doors, and it’s enough to allow you to locate his lips and bring them back towards yours. The only thing you’re focusing on is the location of his bed, and once his lips fall to your neck and you can peek over the shoulder you're gripping intensely, you see it in all its king-sized glory.

You step out of your heels, bringing your palms to the front of Harry’s chest so that you can splay them along his body before sliding underneath the arms of his blazer, pushing it off his shoulders so that his arms are free from the expensive fabric. You take in his decorated arms, the slope of his biceps, that firmness of his chest, and when your eyes read the personalized embroidered words along his ribs, your thighs clench at the sudden warmth flooding your insides.

Bringing your lips to his neck, you simultaneously suck at the perspired skin as you push him backwards towards his bed. And once the back of his knees buckle against the mattress, you push him down so that he’s sitting with his legs spread out and his bluish greenish golden brown eyes completely darkened over with lust.

When you’ve got him where you want him, you cross your arms at the bottom of your tight bustier top and fling it over your head, throwing it aimlessly on his floor. The tight shirt did not require a bra, so when you stand up fully, completely bare torso in Harry’s vision, the moan that falls from his throat is enough to make the warmth between your legs permeate through your lace underwear.

“Fuck, look at you,” he chokes out, hands wrapping around your waist so that he can bring you closer to his mouth. And when his tongue creates a line from your naval all the way up to the underside of your breasts, circling your nipples until your fingers pull at the root of his hair, you both can’t help the moans that escape your mouths.

Harry’s thumb and forefinger expertly pop open the button of your pants, pulling the zipper down without moving his mouth from your chest. His two large hands reach towards your back, slipping underneath your pants as he palms your ass, bringing the material down past your thighs until they’re pooling around your ankles, leaving you in just your black thong.

You fall to your knees after you step out of your pants, fitting in the space between his thighs easily. His hands are raking through your hair as your fingers toy with the clasp of his tight trousers, and when your chin rests softly on his right thigh, lips practically hovering over the erection hidden underneath his pants, you decide to bring your teeth to the zipper and pull it down. Your nose brushes against the massive bulge between his thighs, and before you stand up properly so that he can remove this layer of clothing from his body, you make sure to bring your lips to his clothed length and press a slow kiss to it.

Harry stands up faster than you’ve ever seen him move all night, practically ripping his trousers as he flings them from his body. His shirt is next, up and over his torso before you can even blink. It falls somewhere along the bottom of his mattress, and before you can admire his broad chest and muscular stomach and sinewy hips, you push him back so that his head falls against the pillows and you can straddle his waist easily.

Your tongues tangle for a bit, hands gripping and clawing at the other’s skin as you grind your hips against his. You can feel his cock rubbing against your dripping core, and when his fingers begin to toy with the bottom of your underwear, just barely touching where you need him most, you’ve decided that you’ve had quite enough of his teasing.

So to take matters into your own hands, you press two warm palms against his chest, removing your lips from his and sitting up straight along his waist. This position causes his cock to completely line up with your core, and for a minute, you revel in the feeling of it and how it causes the knot in your stomach to tighten ferociously. You can tell he feels it too, with the way his front teeth are practically ripping the skin of his lower lip and the way his hands are bruising the fleshy skin along your hips.

“What’re you doing?” he asks gruffly, noticing how your right hand reaches for something behind your back.

When you feel your fingers grip the cotton material of his undershirt, you smirk inconspicuously in his direction. “Would you say you’re open to most things? Sexually, I mean,” you ask, your hands still behind your back.

Harry cocks his head to the side, smugness radiating off his expression. “Sure, love. I’d really love for your legs to be open, though. More specifically, me in between them, if we could hurry along to that part.”

You giggle, and when his hands reach out behind your waist to find what’s behind your back, you reveal his shirt and notice the confused look on his face.

“Don’t worry, baby,” you whisper, removing his hands from your waist and bringing them to interlock above his head around the thick wooden post of his headboard. “We’re getting to that part.”

And when you tie his shirt around his wrists in an expert sailor’s knot, you’re the one wearing the smug grin.

You resume your position, mouth nipping at his lower lip as you pull sensual kisses from his lips. And when you peer into his eyes to make sure that he’s comfortable, you start to drag your tongue between his pectoral muscles, down the lines of his stomach, and through the patch of hair just above the waistline of his briefs.

When your fingers remove the final layer of clothing from his body, his hard cock springing upwards and resting against his stomach, you don’t try to hide the satisfied hum that leaves your lips.

“Mmm,” you say, bringing your thumb to his leaking slit and slathering his wetness along his length. “I knew you would be big.”

The moan that rips through his throat is feral, and when you bring the pad of your thumb to your swollen lips and suck it off, turning your palm so that you can lick it generously, Harry feels as if he’s about to burst.

You begin to pump his length slowly at first, watching the way his wrists struggle against the fabric holding him back. Smiling to yourself, you bring your lips to the tip of his cock, circling your tongue slowly around the slit before wrapping your mouth around him completely and beginning to work your way down his impressive size.

“Holy shit,” Harry groans once your nose brushes against his navel. And when you peer up at him, nodding ever so slightly to indicate that it’s okay for him to begin to rut against your mouth, you don’t miss the way his eyes roll into the back of his head as his hands itch to tangle in your hair.

After a few pumps in which you end up gagging, you remove your lips from his cock, watching the string of spit that connects you both. Your eyes are watering and when you look at Harry’s face and see the way his cheeks are flushed and his eyes are blown out and his chest is heaving sporadically, you wipe your lips with your thumb and bring your mouth towards his.

“You’re incredible,” he whispers against your lips, nipping at your lower lip as you remove your underwear from your legs.

“Condoms?” you ask once your knees are surrounding his hips.

“Nightstand, second fuck—” he pauses, eyes widening when you brush the tip of his cock against your pulsing heat. “—Second drawer.”

You nod, locating the condom easily and ripping the foil packet with your teeth. Reaching between you both, you make sure to hold eye contact as you roll the latex down his throbbing length.

“Ready?” You ask, one hand holding the base so that you can angle it perfectly towards your entrance, the other gripping his shoulder tightly.

“Please,” Harry begs, and it’s enough to cause you to sink down easily onto him, due to the dripping heat between your legs.

Your moans echo off each other as you sit completely on his waist, his cock submerged inside of you. It takes a moment to get accustomed to his size, and when you feel your walls fluttering around him and take in the strained vein pulsing on his neck, you begin to rise up on your knees until you can sink down on him again.

“So good,” Harry grunts, beginning to raise his hips to meet yours once you’ve developed a rhythm that suits you both. Your hands are gripping his chest, nails carving crescent moons into the skin as you bounce on top of him, feeling more filled than ever before.

With every raise of his hips, Harry’s wrists pull down against his restraints as he tries to angle himself inside of you. And when an impressive thrust causes your head to fall back on your neck, the distinct sound of fabric ripping reverberates through the room.

“Thank fucking god,” Harry says, throwing his tattered shirt to the floor and bringing his arms around your waist, flipping you both expertly while you’re still inside of him.

You’re shocked for a moment, the sudden quickness of the last few events catching up inside your clouded brain a half step behind Harry’s. When his hand grabs your right ankle and brings it over his shoulder, and the other grips your waist as he thrusts into you in an impressive new angle, it’s enough to cause your eyes to shut tightly and your mouth to fall open in a guttural moan.

He pulls out of you completely before pressing into you again so intensely that you’re almost convinced your hips will be bruised. And when he does it again, your hands wrap around his bicep as you whine, “Oh my god. More Harry, please more.”

Harry snaps into you with a rhythm that causes your toes to curl in the air. He’s pulling noises from your mouth that you weren’t even possible you could make, and when the warmth inside of you begins to feel all-encompassing, you know that you’re getting closer towards the end.

Suddenly, a warm hand wrapping around your neck causes your eyes to dart open. You blink and find that the smug look is back on his face, and when he thrusts into you while simultaneously squeezing the flesh of your neck, you feel the warmth turn into a full-blown blaze inside of you.

“Knew you were a dirty girl,” Harry says against your lips, squeezing your flesh and feeling his cock throb at the strangled moan that rips from your throat. Your hands fall over the ones around your neck, encouraging him to squeeze tighter so that you can finally reach your end, and when he does it once, twice, it’s enough to cause you to shake underneath him, feeling completely numb.

With a few jagged ruts inside of you, Harry suddenly stills until his hands fall from your neck and his lips take their place, huffing an exasperated breath into your skin.

After a few moments, he rolls off of you, laying beside you with one hand against his heaving chest and the other gripping the sheets on the other side of his body. You lay there, mimicking his position and trying to come to terms with the fact that Harry Styles was quite possibly the greatest fuck of your life.

And when you stand up to use the restroom, tiptoeing along the hardwood flooring towards the connected en-suite, you can’t help but giggle when your feet step on the tattered fabric of his undershirt.

“What’s so funny?” Harry asks from the bed, leaning up on his elbows so that he can see what you’re holding up in the air.

“Sorry about your shirt,” you call out, smiling when you notice the shit-eating grin covering the lower half of his face.

“Don’t worry about it,” he says, shrugging nonchalantly. And just before you’ve disappeared behind the door, he adds, “I’ve got proper restraints we can use when you’re finished. I promise they won’t break.”

#harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry fic #harry imagine #harry styles x reader #1dff #1dffupdates #harry styles blurb #harry x y/n #harry styles writing

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heartslobbf · 4 years ago

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let’s talk about perfuma. imo, she’s one of the best characters in the show despite being underdeveloped, and i wanna explain why. she could’ve been extremely average, just some lanky flower girl that doesn’t believe in violence and loves everyone, but she is so much more than that (and it pisses me off that y’all reduce her to that).

in her introductory episode, perfuma is clearly in denial about the horde almost destroying plumeria. she doesn’t want to acknowledge the problem, wants someone else to take care of it for her. she’s scared of change, and that is because change makes you vulnerable. if things always stay the same, there’s a whole lot less danger and uncertainty, and therefore you’re safe. secure. perfuma’s kingdom is dying and she can’t bear to accept it because it is unknown to her. it’s putting her in a position where she is no longer secure. this fear of vulnerability can also be seen at the beginning of 1x10 when the princess alliance falls apart and she literally says ‘being together makes us vulnerable.’

the thing is, perfuma isn’t wrong. look at her choice of words. she says that being together makes them vulnerable, not weak. here, she kind of has the words mixed up, but we see that by s5 she has come to understand the difference. that’s what’s so great about perfuma, her motivation to do better, her hunger for self-improvement. it’s why she’s such an important part of catra’s redemption, actually, because she embodies the kind person catra is or wants to be.

let me explain: perfuma is an angry, impatient, short-tempered character. we are shown this again and again with her passive aggression to others and how easily mermista can annoy her with trivial things (sitting in her seat in the war room, for example). catra is also an angry, impatient character, but perfuma works every day to manage those emotions. she knows she needs them, she uses them as a tool (calling catra out, for example, is a time they were practically pivotal for getting her point across) but she also acknowledges they can hurt the people she loves. we know she does a meditation ritual each morning and we see in 4x02 how quickly she can unravel without it. she wants to be better. she puts the work in. that is such a valuable lesson for a character like catra who has always felt she’s just not good enough, she’s always going to be this angry and unlovable and no one can do anything about it.

so, 4x02. it’s a brilliant episode for perfuma’s character, really, and the first proper development we’ve had since 1x04. we see her anger, her impatience, but we also see her self-doubt. her belief that she’s inadequate, ‘just a flower girl.’ this is also when we get introduced to her little mantra that becomes a bit of a motif later on, ‘i can do this.’ we know perfuma doesn’t wholeheartedly believe this, but she says it anyway because she wants to. perfuma wants to be better. she will do whatever she can to be her best self, whether that be actually conquering her gripes with cacti or realising there’s a loophole with the roots (love that conflict resolution by the way, another good deconstruction of hero bs by spop).

this episode is also significant because it comes back to perfuma’s fear of change, of vulnerability. she’s thrown into a situation she doesn’t want to be in, one she feels miserably unprepared for, and she hasn’t done the one thing that puts her at her best beforehand, but she pulls through in the end because she is surrounded by people that support her, that listened to her and consoled her when she was vulnerable. 4x02 teaches perfuma the power of self-worth and the power of true, mutual, unconditional love, which can only come with vulnerability.

and this is where her character gets really interesting, in my humble opinion. ngl, one of the reasons i love perfuma so much is because she’s a pisces and i am too. i’m not gonna go astrology hoe on you rn, i’m just using this to demonstrate the part of her character that teaches others. pisces, if you don’t know, love to play therapist. we like to help the people around us with whatever strifes they may have because we think we’re fucking great at it. perfuma actually is.

you know how i said perfuma learns the importance of self-belief and vulnerability? yeah, she teaches both of those lessons to other characters in s5. like i said, perfuma is a character who values self-betterment and also happens to be a pisces, so when she sees scorpia, riddled with so much self-doubt and such low self-esteem, her immediate response is just i’m gonna teach that bitch how to love herself. and she does!

i’ve seen some people say they don’t like scorfuma because it seemed as though the writers just decided to ‘fix’ all of scorpia’s problems by giving her a girlfriend. that’s very dumb, first of all because they aren’t even together by the end of the show, they’re just interested in one another. second, the whole point of she-ra is that we’re stronger together. scorpia doesn’t go through growth in s5 because a girl likes her, she goes through growth because someone is showing her support and love for the first time in her life and that empowers her. you know, the worth that scorpia finds in herself doesn’t hinge on perfuma, like it did with catra. it’s about her as an individual, and perfuma so clearly makes it about that when her big lesson revolves around singing. scorpia loves singing. perfuma tells her she should do it because she enjoys it, a sentiment you’d never hear in the horde, and when scorpia does sing, she is actively rejecting the people who did make all her self-worth hinge on them catra. she’s doing something for herself, because she enjoys it, because it makes her happy, because she can.

it’s that same mantra: i can do this, i can do this. i really love how this was brought back from 4x02, how perfuma repurposed something that taught her such a valuable lesson for someone else. perfuma and scorpia are great foil characters actually, both constantly underestimated and thought of as weak by their groups, but some of the strongest characters in the show due to their deep value of love and self. i can do this, and i know i can because you believe in me, because i believe in myself. it’s brought back again in 5x10, when the last thing perfuma says before scorpia breaks the beam is ‘i know you can [pull through]’. she tells catra she believes in scorpia. it’s that belief, that support from other people that empowers the self to believe it too. we are stronger together, you know??

anyways, onto vulnerability. return to the fright zone is in my top ten episodes of the whole fucking show and you might think that’s a bit weird but i don’t. 5x10 encompasses so many important themes of spop so well and tells them with scorfuma and spinnetossa, our two side lesbian couples. this is significant since perfuma literally draws a parallel between her and catra at the end of the episode, and catradora and spinnetossa have always been significant to one another. i’m gonna say it, perfuma is the reason catra is finally able to confess to adora in 5x13. i’ve already talked about how important perfuma is to catra’s motivation to improve, but she literally makes catra rethink everything about strength and vulnerability, two words catra has a lot of feelings about.

catra fears vulnerability. we know this. she has such a deep love for those important to her but is never able to articulate it because she worries she’ll be taken advantage of, shot down, laughed at, whatever. all of this stems from the abuse she suffered at shadow weaver’s hands and her attachment issues, and it’s also why catra pretends to hate scorpia’s very open displays of affection and love: she sees it as weak because she has been taught to, but it’s all she ever really wanted to be.

we also know perfuma used to fear vulnerability. she doesn’t any more. the entirety of the episode leading up to her and catra’s heart-to-heart is her being vulnerable, putting herself in a position where she’s in danger but believing it’s worth it. and it is. despite what everyone said to her, perfuma is right: it was worth it. she got through to scorpia, even if it was only for a moment. she literally spells it out to us and catra with one of the best lines in the whole show: it’s hard, keeping your heart open. it makes you vulnerable, but it doesn’t make you weak, and i have to believe it’s worth it.

back in 1x10, perfuma was right: being together makes you vulnerable. horde prime tries to use people’s relationships against them, that’s literally the plot of save the cat, the point of pitting catra and adora against one another. he sees them as weak, just like shadow weaver deems adora’s feelings for catra ‘confusing’, just like light hope insisted adora was a danger to her friends as long as she was around them. they were all wrong. yes, they’re vulnerable. perfuma acknowledges that vulnerability puts you in danger, that it’s difficult to do that, but she knows it doesn’t make you weak. weakness vs strength is a big conflict in 5x10 literally introduced to us with netossa’s theories on everyone’s weaknesses in the first few minutes.

like perfuma says, friendship isn’t a weakness. it’s her greatest strength. her belief in love is literally what saves her and adora’s lives, it’s what saves everyone who got chipped, glimmer, bow. belief in love, both of others and yourself, is what saves adora in her dying moments. perfuma summarises she-ra’s entire fucking message to us repeatedly in 5x10 and she tells it to catra because catra is the one who will do the most with it. that glance at adora, it’s obvious what it means. perfuma is telling catra she should be open with adora about her feelings because you have to believe it’s worth it.

you won’t get anywhere waiting for other people to make the move. she-ra couldn’t heal plumeria’s lands, so plumeria had to fight their own battle alongside her no matter how much they felt unable to. the rebellion couldn’t move mara’s ship, so perfuma had to despite thinking she wasn’t strong enough. the reason they always win in the end is because they have each other, they have love and support and people motivating them to do better. just like perfuma motivates herself to do better.

it’s the mantra. i can do this. i can be vulnerable and still win, because i have love. and it’s hard, it’s so fucking hard to be vulnerable when you’ve feared it all your life and you’re so angry, so hurt, but you have to believe it’s worth it. and it is. it is, it is, it is, love is stronger than anything and being vulnerable for the people you love is the only way you can ever get what you want from them. perfuma as a character embodies that, having learnt it herself, and teaches the lesson to one of the characters who needs it the most.

adora is dying, and catra loves her, and she knows she does, and she just has to believe. adora is dying, and she loves catra, and she knows she does, but she doesn’t believe. not until catra teaches her too, in that moment, to realise they were all wrong, light hope, shadow weaver, horde prime. adora doesn’t need to let go, she needs to hold on and believe she will be pulled back up by the girl she loves. she needs to believe she deserves it. that it’s worth it.

and it is.

#ANYWAYS I FUCKING LOVE PERFUMA THANK U QUEEN FOR BEING THE BEST SIDE CHARACTER #sjdjeksmnf sorry this is long i tried to keep it short #I HAVE SO MUCB TO SAY ABT HER #shut up daisy #spop #perfuma #scorfuma #catra #scorpia #catradora #adora #spop meta

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nevermindirah · 4 years ago

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Non-Jewish friends, y’all might be wondering right now: Israel is doing clearly unacceptable shit to Palestinians. So, why are some Jews ardent Zionists, and why do some Jews seem to feel personally attacked by criticism of Israel?

A lot of (non-Palestinian) non-Jews have asked me where I stand on Israel/Palestine over the years, apropos of nothing, just because I’m Jewish. For the longest time I felt so stuck because I just didn’t know much about Israel/Palestine and what little I did know turned out to be largely misinformation and I felt so much pressure to say The Correct Thing That All Jews Should Say About This Issue. Obviously the violence Israel is committing against Palestinians is horrific and the interpersonal weirdness individual Jews might experience as people discuss Israel’s horrific violence doesn’t compare. I’m making this post as a small supplement to the important conversations going on about what Israel is doing to Palestinians in East Jerusalem, Gaza, and the West Bank, as well as Palestinian citizens of Israel and Palestinian refugees and their descendants living outside land Israel controls. I’m making this post because non-Jews might be feeling confused by conflicting messages about Zionism as either settler colonialism or Jewish self-determination. It sucks feeling like you have to choose only one oppressed group or another. It’s possible to support Palestinian liberation and Jewish liberation at the same time! Here’s some context that might help.

Palestinian friends will probably want to ignore this post, y’all shouldn’t have to deal with your oppressors’ feelings, and especially not right now.

Zionism is the ideology behind the devastating violence Israel is committing against Palestinians right now and has been committing against Palestinians since 1947-48. It’s heartbreaking and messy to talk about this reality, because Zionism originated as a strategy to protect Jews from antisemitism.

Any oppressed group can turn into oppressors under enough pressure, because humans are flawed. Jews fleeing antisemitism turning into Israelis ethnically cleansing Palestinians happened because Zionism is profoundly influenced by its time and place of origin: 19th century Europe.

Europe invented antisemitism, and basically every European country has done at least one very very bad structural antisemitism, like expelling all the country's Jews (the monarch and/or the church then stole all the wealth the expelled people had to leave behind), looking the other way when peasants murdered a bunch of Jews as an outlet for their frustration with the actual (non-Jewish) ruling class, banning Jews from owning property or holding certain jobs or being members of guilds etc, and of course the big horrific state-sponsored mass-murder operations the Inquisition and the Holocaust. From the 1790s through the 19th century different European governments emancipated their Jews, ie removed legal barriers to full citizenship and economic participation. But this didn't end antisemitism. Just like the legal improvements of the 19th and 20th centuries didn't end antiblackness in the United States.

Also happening in this time: nationalism swept Europe. From the French Revolution through the end of World War I, Europe’s predominant form of government transformed from multiethnic empires to nation-states, countries led by and for a particular ethnic group.

So this Austro-Hungarian dude Theodor Herzl came up with this idea for Jewish nationalism. Every other European ethnic group is getting their own country, so why not Jews? Maybe this is the solution to antisemitism! Maybe we’ll finally be safe if we just all move en masse out of Europe to a place that will take all of us and never expel us!

But also also happening in Europe and around the world in this time: European imperialism and white supremacist settler colonialism. Chattel slavery saw its height and then its end (legally, at least) during this era, but white supremacy entrenched itself across the planet in post-slavery economic practices and cultural imperialism as well as national and international laws.

I believe countries have a moral obligation to take in as many refugees as they can squeeze in. International law protecting refugees has evolved a lot over the past century, but we’re still devastatingly far from every refugee getting a safe place to call home, and the main reason for that is white supremacy. The Biden administration didn’t undo the Trump administration’s horrifically low cap on refugees until like last week and it’s because Democratic party leaders treat centrist white people as more valuable voters than the huge and growing numbers of people of color, immigrants, LGBT people, unmarried women, and working class people who want to vote for elected leaders who get that nobody’s free until we’re all free. Ahem. Back to the topic at hand, the US and many other countries turned away untold numbers of refugees fleeing the fucking Holocaust, so odds are slim they’d be more welcoming in less desperate times. Moving from places where Jews are an unwanted minority to places where Jews are still a minority and either still unwanted or little understood and unlikely to win revolutionary levels of support from a largely non-Jewish public seems like a bad plan.

In the mid to late 19th century, lots of Jews took the kernel of Zionism and ran with it in different directions. Maybe this ideology could mean Jewish cultural flourishing alongside stronger political/economic integration into the societies where we’re already living! Maybe it could mean a particular kind of socialism that advocates for the liberation of Jews both as Jews and as workers! Maybe it could mean a revitalization of Jewish religious practice both in Jerusalem where we have important heritage sites and everywhere we live across the world!

Eventually Herzl’s vision of Zionism won out over the others: Jewish nationalism in the sense of a Jewish nation-state, a country that has a Jewish demographic majority and/or that legally privileges Jews over non-Jews.

Problem is, if you want to do that, you have to find a piece of land on which to do it, and Earth was already a pretty crowded place a hundred years ago. Many locations were considered, and the one that ended up winning that debate was Palestine. Where a shit ton of people, mostly non-Jews, were already living. They were forming their own nationalist movement at the time: in the waning days of the Ottoman Empire they began to organize for local self-determination in Palestine.

The Herzl types who developed Zionism as an ideology and built institutions to advocate for and create a Jewish ethnostate in Palestine were a small subset of European Jews, mostly men, mostly with significant economic privilege within what Jews were able to achieve in their particular societies at the time. They were just as Orientalist as the non-Jews around them, just as antiblack, just as racist generally for all that Jews were (and sometimes still are) considered non-white in much of Europe. They had a cool idea (put a lot of effort into something that could protect Jews from antisemitism) floating in a bathtub full of shit, and they did practically nothing to protect the cool idea from absorbing that shit. Results of this include thinking about the millions of people already living in Palestine as if they were either like the rocks and the trees that will go with the flow and accept a new ruling class, or indistinct Arabs who would just leave for other Arab countries because what could be the difference — in the staggeringly small amount of time they considered the existing residents of Palestine at all.

This racist hand-waving extended to Zionist leaders’ attitudes about Jews outside Europe as well. White Jews in settler colonies like the US were largely anti-Zionist at the time (not wanting their own countries to accuse them of dual loyalty was a common reason) but European Zionist leaders took what help they could get from Jews in the US, South Africa, Australia, etc. Jews across the Middle East and North Africa, however, barely heard from Zionist leaders about any of this until Zionist militias had removed enough Palestinians from the land and it was time to repopulate it with whichever Jewish bodies were convenient. You might have heard "all the Arab countries expelled their Jews in 1948" but lots of first-person accounts tell a different story of Israel coercing Jews who’d lived securely for a long time in places like Morocco to immigrate to Israel and then confiscating their passports and forcing them to live on less-fertile land with fewer resources while serving as a buffer between Palestinians and European Jewish immigrants. Ella Shohat is the best-known writer on Israeli racism against non-European Jews and I strongly recommend Sephardim in Israel: Zionism from the Perspective of Its Jewish Victims as a starting point to learn more about this.

Which brings us to today. We still haven’t eradicated antisemitism, several European governments that did a lot of structural antisemitism they still haven’t made meaningful reparations for get to feel good about themselves for “giving the Jews a state” as if carving up the former Ottoman Empire was up to them and not the people who lived there, and millions of people across the world who previously either lived peacefully enough alongside Jews or hadn’t really thought about us much at all now have very valid reasons to be pissed at this country that claims it represents all of us.

Zionism was supposed to protect Jews from antisemitism. And Israel has saved Jewish lives! But if we hadn’t sunk the past 70+ years into an ethnostate we could’ve been putting that energy into other political and economic activity to create adequate international support for refugees while we work on ending root causes of refugee crises, like antisemitism, racism, climate change, and capitalism. Meanwhile Zionism has killed, maimed, incarcerated, stolen from, traumatized, and erased the history of millions of Palestinians just because they happened to be living on land that some dudes who had a lot more in common with Thomas Jefferson and Donald Trump than with you or me decided needed to be cleansed for a Jewish ethnostate.

White nationalists in the US love Israel because they want American Jews to go away. Fascist leaders across Europe love Israel for the same reason, so much so that Israel’s prime minister is buddy-buddy with Trump and the equivalent shitstains of several European far-right parties. And I don’t know what it’s like in other white supremacist countries that are close allies of Israel, but the overwhelming majority of Zionist lobbying that pushes the US to give so much aid to Israel comes from Evangelical Christians, because they believe all the Jews have to be in the Holy Land for Jesus to come back. No thanks.

This whole thing fucking sucks. Jews and Palestinians, like all human beings, deserve to be free. Many Jews are understandably afraid of what might happen next if Israel decided to give up on ethnonationalism, allow Palestinian refugees to return, make reparations, and establish a pluralistic democracy that represents and protects all its residents — will some Palestinians murder Jews in revenge? That’s genuinely fucking scary. And it’s genuinely fucking scary to be a Palestinian in Israel/Palestine, and has been for over 70 years. We’ve gotta do something different. I say that as a white person sitting on land stolen from Piscataway people who has thought in detail about what portion of my income would be reasonable for my government to tax in order to fund reparations for the descendants of enslaved people.

Ok. One final piece of context before I wrap this up.

Most Jewish institutions in the US are explicitly Zionist, teach children that Zionism is THE way to ensure Jewish safety, and increasingly tell non-Zionist Jews that we're unwelcome or even that we’re not “real” Jews. This comes in a context where it’s only been 76 years since the latest and most gruesome of several attempts to wipe our entire people off the face of the planet. If you grew up in that environment, you, too, might be jumpy about even hearing the words Zionism or Israel, let alone considering the devastation this ideology and country have caused Palestinians.

Jews have a right to exist. Jews have a millennia-old connection to this scrap of land in the Levant, and we have a right to access religiously and culturally important geographic landmarks. What we don't have a right to is murdering or expelling other people in order to make an ethnostate, on that land or any other. Zionism is settler colonialism, but it’s settler colonialism by and for people who have a valid need for protection from structural antisemitism, which means that it’s going to take a lot of messy empathy to undo. The members of my extended family who voted for Trump (non-Jews in my case, though Jared Kushner isn’t the only Jewish Trumpite) are afraid that ending white supremacy will demote them from a privileged class to equal footing with everyone else — that’s the kind of fear individuals work on in therapy, not the kind that’s reasonable for a whole society to prevent from happening. I and millions of Jews do deserve for whole societies to work hard to end antisemitism.

I would never and will never ask a Palestinian to gently request their liberation. But if you’re not Palestinian, and you’ve got a little extra empathy to spare this week, I ask you to remember what I’ve shared here when interacting with Jews about Israel/Palestine.

If you’re a fellow Jew reading this and you feel like Israel is the only way to guarantee our safety, all I ask of you is to sit with the idea that what Israel is doing to Palestinians is too high a cost for safety that’s still not guaranteed, and start to imagine real-world ways we can protect our people from antisemitism without an ethnostate.

I made this post for people who know me (or know of me I guess?) in Old Guard and Cap fandom, despite my better judgment, because talking about Jewish Booker and Jewish Bucky and Jewish Natasha makes me so happy and I think some of the people I love on these characters with might appreciate this perspective. I didn’t provide any links in this post on purpose (to decrease its usefulness, so fewer people will reblog it) because the risk of anon hate when talking about Zionism outside my immediate fandom circles is so high. You’re welcome to reblog this post if you find it helpful! Unless you’re not within a few concentric circles of me, in which case, maybe don’t? If seeing this post makes you want to send me anon hate, no need: many people who share your perspective have already done so on Twitter.

Reliable sources on all this info are a few googles away, and I apologize for the things I know I oversimplified as well as any things I might have misremembered. I’m an American who’s never lived in Israel/Palestine who is posting this on my fandom blog.

TL;DR: This is a short ‘n pithy post about the same idea.

TL;DR, fandom edition: The shortest distillation of this anti-Zionist Jew’s feelings on the matter can be found in segment 4 of Five Times Booker Got Wasted on Purim and One Time He Didn’t.

#palestinian liberation #hi i'm an antizionist jew no i don't really want to talk about it #and yet #here we are #long post #mine #antisemitism #settler colonialism #racism #european imperialism #genocide cw

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liddolwhynot2000 · 4 years ago

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Unprecedented Reactions: Part 2

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Summary: He likes you, scratch that, he's more then half way in love with you. And if you keep this up, he's not sure he can control himself and keep these feeling bottled up for much longer.

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Pairings: Levi/Reader

Genre: Romance, longing, Soldier!Reader, Levi deserves happiness

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Please read part 1 to understand this better => Unprecedented Reactions

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Growing up in the underground, Levi had learned a very different way to navigate life then normal people did. If you stole a loaf of bread and got caught, you got beat up and starved. If you pick pocketed and didn't get much, you should have picked your target better. If you played nice and thought for anyone but yourself, be prepared to be used and discarded.

When Kenny had left him to fend for himself, Levi had survived on his own just fine. In order to not get caught stealing food, he ran faster. To pick pocket well, his sharp eyes picked out whose pockets had more in them. He didn't make any friends, didn't let anyone join him, so there was never any need to worry about getting stabbed in the back.

Until he met Farlan.

Farlan had been an exception to all his rules, an addition to his life that he hadn't anticipated. Levi had been nervous of course, and not very trusting at the start. But the man had won him over, and secured a soft spot that Levi didn't think his heart even had.

Farlan had not just been his friend, but his brother. The man he only had to look at to ask for a solution to their problems, the man who made jokes that had him hiding smiles, who didn't hesitate a second in defending him from everyone in that hell hole.

He had accepted their brotherhood, feeling a little anxious, but mostly at peace with his decision. And then he had met Isabel.

Sweet, kind Isabel. She had just been a starved, homeless kid when he had found her. His heart hadn't been able to accept the idea of just leaving her there, of walking past her and ignoring her like he forced himself to with all the others. Farlan had only smiled at him when he brought her home and had given her some bread. It had been his way of saying he agreed with Levi's decision.

Since then, they had been a trio. They'd wreak havoc in the underground together, working hard to sustain themselves. Levi, knowing his superior strength, took up more work. He didn't mind it, feeling more safe ensuring their well being with his own hands.

It eventually became a pattern, of leaving it all to him. Sometimes it made him feel pressured, most of the time he pressured them to keep it up. He was too nervous, too scared that he would lose his self made family if he didn't protect them.

His worries hadn't been for nothing, his fears of losing them hadn't been unfounded. Unfortunately, his own actions had been the root cause of it.

If only he hadn't insisted that they believe in him. If only he had kept them close and hadn't gone off on his own. Farlan would be alive right now, and so would Isabel. Had Levi not pushed them to pick, his family would be safe and sound, with him.

Instead, here he was, lying in bed, covered in blankets, and unable to to do anything but mourn.

He would never be the same again, for he would never have his family back. All the positive emotions he had accessed in the years of being with them, had died, leaving behind a shell of a man.

It was like the candle lighting up the room had been shut off by wind. One strong breeze cut off the entire light source, leaving all the darkness in the room what it needed to thrive and spread. Levi didn't think that candle could ever be lit up again, that he could ever experience care for another human being again.

It felt like his heart had been effectively killed.

And that's when he heard the door open.

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He heard you put down the tray, but could tell you hadn't immediately left after. You were still there, staring at him perhaps. Probably ridiculing him for his depression, like he could tell everyone else was.

It ignited a fury in him, an anger he had felt leave his body once he had butchered that titan to pieces. He suddenly wanted to be violent, to destroy everything that crossed his path. Anything that could serve as outlet for his grief. Just as he thought to get out of the blankets and confront whoever had dared to enter his room-he heard the door shut.

Levi sits up, frowning. His hair is all over the place and his uniform direly needed to be cleaned. But he didn't care, he wanted to know why you had dared to enter his room. What gave you the right. He didn't care that you had come to give him food, he just wanted to pick a fight.

Throwing the covers off of him, he ignored the voice in his head that chimed at him to clean his shit up. But he would do that later. Right now, his hands were itching to unleash violence on something. Or rather, someone.

He followed you out, noting that you were a female. His stealth abilities were top notch-a novice like you couldn't even hope to notice him, walking along like nothing was happening.

You paused, and Levi stopped short, thinking he had been found out. He didn't bother to hide himself, after all, he was here to face you. His eyebrows furrowed as he distinctly heard a few male voices chattering.

‘H-Hey did you see that midget from the underground?’

Levi tensed, having a good idea of where this was going. He couldn't help noticing the way you had done the same.

'Yeah. You see the nerve he has, locking himself up in that room like he’s actually mourning. That fucker didn’t even join for the cause.'

He frowned, so what if he hadn't joined the suicidal corps for their cause. Isabel and Farlan had been alive, just like any other person. They had loved and cared for him, and he had done the same for them. Only ungrateful surface dwellers would think he had no right to mourn his friends.

It made his fist clench. You were the furthest thing from his mind now, these men would be the fight he needed ot sate his blood lust.

'Let’s.. Let’s teach that midget a lesson. I bet he’s putting it on. He’s just scum from the underground, he doesn’t even belong here.’

Levi was long accustomed to being called words like that. He fucking hoped they would approach him to 'teach a lesson.' As they all decided they would 'counsel' him on the death of his friends, Levi wanted to laugh. The underground and the surface really did have the same type of scum on it.

Their voices got louder as they approached, and Levi prpeared himself to kick their asses to hell and back-

--Only for you to grab one of the mens arms and smash him against the wall.

Confused, he kept himself out of sight, watching as you took on all three of them. He couldn't understand why you were doing this. Were you like him, frustrated and needing a way to let loose? It made sense, those drunk ass men were good target practice. But he couldn't help feeling that there was more to this.

'Have a little compassion you jerks! He just lost his friends!'

You were defending him? Him? The scum of the underground? Against your precious cormades? Levi could feel the fight in him dying out, being replaced by emotions he had thought that he would never feel again.

'If anyone of you dares to approach him, I swear I'll get the Commander on your asses!'

You were holding one of them in a choke hold, confident that they couldn't overwhelm you.

Levi was in awe of you, watching you lecture and beat up the men that planned on attacking him. The last time someone had defended him like this was Farl-

His breath seized, and he closed his eyes, feeling an abundance of emotions he just couldn't identify. He couldn't word them out, not today.

But he knew he felt grateful to you.

Once he was sure you wouldn't get hurt, he went back to his room. He took the soup and the bread from the tray you had left, and began to eat, allowing himself to not think about anything.

Unbeknownst to him, the candle flickered back on.

____________________________________

He takes note of you after that, his eyes seeking you out whenever you were in vicinity. He's accepted his role in the corps, his responsibility as a soldier, but he can't help gravitating towards you.

You remind him of Farlan, but it's different. Farlan had wanted to be his friend, but you? You came to his defense, solely out of the kindness of your heart. You want nothing in exchange.

You don't boast about it, don't flaunt it, not to him or anyone else. If Levi hadn't seen you defend him with his own eyes, he would have never found out about it. Those men don't even look in his direction, not after what you did to them.

He feels curious about you, and allows himself to keep you in his radar.

He settles into his job well, climbing the ranks quicker then he thought he would. But Levi is quick to realise why--there just aren't enough people in the Corps. They need him, and if it means having to put aside their reservations about his origins, then so be it.

It makes his day a little better to watch Erwin sweat over keeping him around. He doesn't plan to leave, but it's nice getting a little special treatment. Especially all the free tea he gets.

He doesn't know how to approach you, and even if he did, he has no idea of what to say. Should he tell you he knows what you did? Thank you for it?

He's not used to making friends, so he doesn't know how to be friends with you. Rather, he contends himself with watching you from afar, keeping an eye out for you just in case.

You're a strong, capable soldier, and it brings him a little relief to know that. As his time in the survey Corps piles up, Levi notices how easily some of his comrades get slaughtered. How helpless he is to stop it all.

He selfishly celebrates your safe return from each expedition in his mind.

He can't help noticing you, how kind you are. You put everyone around you at ease, making jokes. He remembers the first time you talked to him, how flustered he had felt afterwards.

'Levi I'm beginning to think the walls were built to protect the titans from you. Not us from them.'

Everyone had laughed, and Levi had felt heat creep up his cheeks at it. It had launched an entire debacle of comrades lauding his strength, one he hadn't been able to shut down. Everyone had been too drunk to be scared of him, and he had been too lost in his thoughts about you to be terrifying enough.

____________________________________

His following interactions with you are cordial and meaningful at the same time. Ranging from drinking tea together, to practicing with your gear at the same time.

Even though he can't quite explain it, he finds himself making exceptions for you. You're not that good at cleaning, just average, but he doesn't have the heart to scold you for it like with everyone else. He finds himself turning a blind eye to it, blaming your mess on others and letting you off the hook.

It doesn't make much sense on his part, but it happens without him even planning it. There's just something about you that makes him automatically nicer. Levi doesn't question it much, instead opting to simply follow his gut instincts without regrets.

He's too tired of having to think on the battle field, feeling exhausted in his efforts to keep everyone alive. Being around you has a powerful effect on him- for just being your vicinity makes him feel at peace.

Maybe it's because he just misses his friends, and has latched on to you. Or maybe he's too worried about the others still judging his background, thus making him cling to you, the only person he knows doesn't give a damn.

Or maybe it's just that he's very much interested in you- and it's so foreign that he can tell it's not just friendship.

Friendship was when he wanted to help Farlan not die carrying crates that are too heavy for him. He's sure it's not him snatching them away before you even look at them.

Friendship is being okay with his friends talking to other people, not feeling possessive about the low lives who flirt with you. It's certainly not imagining different ways to teach them how to keep their hands to themselves.

Friendship should be being okay with the bare minimum physical affection, not day dreaming being wrapped up in your arms, wondering about how soft they would feel.

He's got a good idea of what he's feeling, but he doesn't have enough nerve to verbalise it. Doesn't have the required courage needed to look you in the eye and say it.

He needs a push, and not the literal one Hange tries to give him everytime she catches him staring at you. He knows he should at least admit what he feels about you in his own mind, but he just can't.

Until he does.

____________________________________

Ever since he's accepted his position in the survey corps, Levi has made it mission to give it his all. Every order is carried out swiftly, every action is conducted with purpose. He's devoted himself to his job-- no one could link the brash underground thug to the man he is now.

And he likes it that way.

The job isn't easy, of course, especially with all the losses incurred on every expedition. He feels grief for every life lost outside the walls, inwardly chastising himself for not being there, even though he knows its out of his hands.

His hands itch with the urge to do something for his fallen cormades, who gave up their lives to help them succeed. Their young, bright expressions flash in mind, because he was fond of them. He wonders what he can do to honour them, and comes up with two methods.

One, he begins to take their wings of freedom insignia off their dead bodies, keeping them safe and sound for their loved ones. To him, it's proof that they were alive.

Two, he starts making them special graves. It's a laborious task, especially on his own, but he wants to do it. He has to do it, if only to give himself and everyone a way to talk to them, to tell them that they're remembered, even in their deaths.

It's one day he's in the midst of his self assigned mission that you stumble upon him.

He notices you from the corner of his eye, wondering what you think of what's upto. He pretends not to notice the smile you flash his way, knowing that it'll be harder to hold back his blush if he dwells on you too long.

You walk away, and he finds himself slightly dissapointed. He figured you'd at least try to talk to him a little, but shoves his thoughts aside. However he finds himself pleasantly surprised when you return just a few moments later, with a shovel in your hand.

As you flash him a grin and begin to dig as well, he barely manages to take his eyes off of you. Returning to his own task, he finally admits it to himself.

He likes you, scratch that, he's more then half way in love with you. And if you keep this up, he's not sure he can control himself and keep these feeling bottled up for much longer.

He's not sure he can stay away from you for much longer, and a part of him is aching for that time to come.

Now that's he's admitted it to himself, he wonders if he can admit it you.

____________________________________

The most notable moment he has with you is, unfortunately, when he saves you from a titan. He had hoped that he would never have to see you in this situation, but when has he ever gotten what he hopes for?

He manages to save you in the nick of time, and he's sure he's going to have nightmares about it. You almost falling into a titans mouth, your expression frozen in terror. It's something he'll remember in his darkest moments, a scene right out of his worst fears.

He can't bring himself to keep his distance after saving you, wanting to ensure that you're not injured in anyway. He knows his grip is more delicate then usual, his eyes are more worried then expressionless. But he can't help it.

You mean more to Levi then you think, more then he can even comprehend himself.

He's a little giddy, like a cadet with a crush on his senior, when he finds out your horse isn't there. It means you have to ride on his horse with him, the idea of which makes him feel shy and a little more excited then it should.

You fall asleep on the way back, your head resting on his chest. He doesn't have the heart to wake you up, to the point he sneaks you past everyone in the formation and gently lays you down in the cart. He covers you with his cloak and eyes your peaceful expression, heart sorely wishing for things he's never known he wanted.

There's an urge to brush the strands of hair on your face, he tries to resist it at first but ultimately gives in. His hands are stiff, and he's alert, worried you might wake up. But the moment he manages to brush them aside, he hurriedly moves away from you.

His heart is beating too fast, and he doesn't know how to calm it down.

He's doesn't think he even wants to.

____________________________________

Dream do come true-especially in Levi's case. He's dreamt of all of his friends dying, and life has served accordingly. Every worst case scenerio that has ever invaded his mind, has the tendency to be brought to life.

It stings really, the injustice of it all. But he knows better then to complain-like always, he makes peace with the situation, and moves on. He refuses to look back and cry, knowing he'll end up in drowning in regrets if he does. He braces himself for the future--likely to be a very dark and bleak one.

He never, in hold widest dreams, expected one of his deeply desired dreams to come true.

He's been digging deep inside himself, trying to find the needed courage to approach you with romantic intentions. To let you know his hearts desires. But so far he's achieved nothing.

So when you approach him one night, eyes unable to look into his own, he's on the edge. He overthinks, expects you to reject him. You probably noticed him pathetically staring at you, and no doubt decided that he needs to be put in his place. He knows he deserves it, after all, what right does a man like him have to even think about someone as pure as you?

He braces himself to be brutally turned down, what he doesn't expect is the words that tumble out of your mouth.

'I.. I'm in l-love with you.'

The words are stuttered, with a red blush spread across your cheeks. He stares at you for a few seconds, mentally commanding your eyes to meet his. When they don't, he takes action with such confidence that he surprises himself.

His hands move to grasp your wrists, and he pulls you closer to him. He rests his forehead against yours, finally managing to get you to look him in the eyes.

Levi smiles, a sight that only you would have the pleasure of seeing for the rest of your life. He chuckles a little, moving even closer to you.

Dreams really do come true in his case. Sometimes, even the good ones.

____________________________________

A/N: Ta dah! Heyooo here's the part 2! I hope y'all enjoyed this. My asks are open so ask awayyy. Till next time 💕

#Attack on titan #Snk #AOT #Levi/reader #Levi x reader #Soldier! Reader #Levi ackerman #Levi aot

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hela-avenger · 4 years ago

Text

To the Stars Who Listen- Part 5

Author: hela-avenger

Word Count: 1507

Summary: When Loki desires to never fall in love, he casts a spell to prevent such a thing from happening. Except, well, in the matters of love and magic, you never know the result it may have in the end. Loki x Reader

A/N: Thanks for all the love everyone! I’m happy you’re liking my fic! Tags are open! (Send me an ask/message/response.)

TTSWL Masterlist

The moment Steve lands at the facility, Loki practically runs inside. It was as if he expected to be dragged back to the tower if he hesitated for even a moment. You watch him and he seemed pleased enough in what he encountered. You turn away when Steve finds you still lingering in the back. He takes your bag from your hand and motions you to walk with him.

“You ok?”

“Yeah,” you sigh out. “It just feels weird to be back to square one, you know? I worked so hard to get where I am and now I have to go back to training wheels. It’s not really fair.”

Steve offers you a sympathetic smile.

“You’ll be back with us before you know it,” he assures you. “And if Loki is to be trusted, which I’ll admit is a hard thing for me to do, you’ll come out of this stronger than ever.”

“I was already strong before,” you sigh. “I was doing fine. Sure, I didn’t have some super soldier serum or a powerful suit, but I was fighting alongside you so that speaks for itself.”

“Y/N…”

“Steve just…” you whisper in resignation. “I was happy being normal and now… now, I’m not. I haven’t really gotten a chance to wrap my head around that everything has completely changed.”

“I understand,” Steve breathes out. “Things just happen in life, Y/N. They may be good, most times it’s bad, and it’s up to us to figure out how to deal with it. I know you have it in you to make the best out of this situation.”

Steve stops at the door of your room and hands you your bag back. Your hand lingers on his as the request comes swiftly into your mind.

“Can I ask you for a favor?”

Steve nods, “Anything.”

“I’m going to try my best to gain control of this power but if I can’t, then I want it out of me.”

“That could kill you.”

“Sacrifices have to be made for the greater good,” you tell him. “You out of everyone should know. You did the same thing years ago.”

“And you know what that cost me.”

Indeed you did. He had told you about it some time ago. Trusted you with this information he kept close.

Steve had lost his comrades, the love of his life, and skipped 70 years into the future and though you wouldn’t have the same repercussions he had, you found the conclusion albeit still alarming.

“If I hurt someone, Steve… If I end up on the wrong side of things where I become the enemy… I don’t know if I could live with myself if I could have prevented it to begin with.”

Steve hesitates but he must see the deep desperation in your eyes.

“I’ll look into it,” Steve sighs. “And if that day comes… Just know, I’ll find another way to save you. I don’t care what it takes.”

You knew Steve to be stubborn so you allowed him this small victory. You release your hand from his and take your bag. Steve is quick to pull you into a hug and you allow yourself the small comfort.

“The next time I see you better be on a good note,” Steve chuckles into your ear. “I know you can beat this, Y/N. Don’t give up before it even starts.”

You nod and force yourself to let him go. He offers you one last encouraging smile before finally turning and walking away.

Your quiet solemn moment is disrupted by a dark chuckle that appears suddenly in front of you.

“That was agonizing to watch,” Loki mutters. “I think our innocent Captain was expecting a kiss out of it.”

“We’re just friends,” you respond glaring at the God that leaned against the door frame of his room which conveniently resided right in front of yours.

“Are you sure?” Loki grins. “I don’t think you’re being completely honest at this moment.”

“And I think you’re spinning lies out of nowhere so you can incite drama because you find yourself bored.”

Loki doesn’t respond and you knew you had him. You turn away and open the door of your room. You don’t bother to turn the light on as you throw your bag inside. You make up your mind you’ll unpack and settle in later.

“Come on,” you call out to Loki. “Let me introduce you to everyone.”

A highlight at being moved to the large and expansive Avengers Facility that laid out of the city is the people who resided there. You can’t help but laugh when you step into the dining room to find a Welcome Home banner hung up with Wanda and Vision at the head of a filled table. Bucky and Sam were there too but the serious scowl on their faces made it seem like they were unhappy with your arrival.

“You didn’t have to do all of that,” you tell Wanda as you hug her. “It hasn’t been that long since I’ve stayed here.”

“It’s been long enough,” Wanda states.

“Welcome home Agent Y/N,” Vision nods at you.

“Hello again, Viz.”

“We all heard about what happened,” Wanda speaks up. “Are you ok?”

“Not really,” you shrug. “But I will be once I get myself under control.”

Wanda squeezes your arm and you turn towards Bucky and Sam who haven’t moved to greet you. They remain rooted in place as they glared at your travel partner who remains in the outskirts of the room.

“Hey, stop that,” you nudge them. “He’s not a threat.”

“That’s not what Steve said,” Bucky mutters. “He said we needed to pay extra attention to him.”

“Yeah, emphasis on extra,” Sam adds.

“I’m sure he didn’t mean it literally,” you argue.

“Better safe than sorry,” Sam responds.

You roll your eyes at them and turn to Loki instead.

“Loki, this is the rest of the team,” you introduce him vaguely. “Team, this is Loki.”

Wanda’s the only one to offer a small wave while everyone else remained silent. You understood why Vision was hesitant to step forward. Loki had once wielded the mind stone that was currently resting on his forehead. As for Bucky and Sam, they were just being overprotective by Steve’s warning.

“Alright, great start,” you mumble as you nod Loki forward. “Let’s just sit. They’ll get over the whole security threat thing once they realize you’re not going to do anything.”

“And what if I do step out of line?” Loki asks with a slight grin.

The question doesn’t go unheard as Bucky and Sam are quick to straighten up while Wanda lets out a heavy sigh. You set your plate down and turn towards the mischievous God.

“Bucky there,” you point out. “Has a metal arm and a variation of the super soldier serum running through his body. He’s also a very notorious assassin but we don’t talk about it.”

You then point towards Sam.

“Now Sam here, you might think he’s nothing special and in a way he isn’t…”

“Hey!”

You shoot Sam a pointed glare and he shuts up enough to allow you to continue.

“As I was saying, Sam may not be a super soldier, but he can sure fight like one and you won’t want to face him with his Falcon suit on. You won’t stand a chance if he catches you in the air.”

Loki takes in the information you offered and makes note of it. He knows better than to create enemies without knowing who they are and the threat they may impose on him.

“Now Wanda is a sweetheart,” you continue earning a smile from her. “But she can kick ass if she needs to and between you and me, I wouldn’t want to get on her bad side. She got her powers through the mind stone which allows her to do a lot of cool stuff. Telekinesis, telepathy, force fields, mental manipulation… The list goes on and on.”

You take a deep breath and then turn to Vision who’s still joining them on the table though he doesn’t need to eat dinner.

“Now Vision is the youngest of us all if you can believe it,” you tell Loki. “I still don’t understand the science of how he was made but basically he’s an android with a conscience. A robot with a heart of gold. Plus, he’s the self-appointed guardian of the mind stone and we all saw him wield Mjolnir though Thor refuses to admit it.”

Loki now realizes why his brother had been so easily convinced to allow him out of his sight. With this band of trainee heroes, Loki would be well supervised and beaten if he stepped out of line.

“Now that the introductions are out of the way, let’s eat.”

You eagerly begin to pile food on your plate passing the courses around. Everyone follows your lead easing into an amicable conversation. Loki simply sat back and drank the wine offered as he suddenly found himself with appetite lost.

TTSWL Tag: @catsladen @is-it-madness @manyfandoms-marvel @mejusttryintogetby @illogicalfangirl @ariel-snow-tmnt @islinglivesinshire @musicconversedance @missmadwoman @smaranshakthi @adaydreamingdragon @poetic-fiasco @like-a-wildfire @jasminecalia @ha-tep @charbokbok @setsuna-meiou31 @ms-blvck @country-cowgirl-101 @bepo-is-sorry

Loki Tag: @unicorniorosacomefrutillas @thesilentbluesparrow @oddly-drawn-muse @josiehosiedaninja @hp-hogwartsexpress @sadwaywardkid @wolf-lover74 @sizzlingbarbarianglitter @sigyn-nightshade @aoirohi @horsesandwolvesaremyanimals @just-a-donut-who-reads @day-dreaming-fox

All Works Tag: @jmb959 @astudyoftimeywimeystuff @hellocookiecutter @steve-rogers-personal-hell @buckybarnesyard @not-zari-tak @strangersstranger @thefridgeismybestie @ariel-snow-tmnt @badhollandfluff @what-a-flammable-heart

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ellewords · 4 years ago

Note

“you know i’m in love with you, right?” hinata mutters into your shoulder, arms wrapped around you in a tight embrace.

he had to leave. a team had invited him to play in japan. an opportunity of a lifetime had presented itself to him, and he would be an idiot to pass it up. but that also meant leaving brazil. leaving you.

the pair of you had met pretty soon after hinata had arrived two years before, and there had been a spark from the second you laid eyes on each other. you had never been happier than you were during the time you got to spend with him, and as far as you could tell, hinata shared that sentiment. but you knew from the very beginning that your time was limited. that was why you had never made anything official; it would hurt too much when time ran out. you had too much of your life rooted in brazil to validate leaving, and hinata was rooted in japan. it would be unfair to expect that to change just because of how you felt for each other.

yet here you guys were, hinata holding you like you were his lifeline, face pressed tightly into the curve of your neck, confessing like he’d wanted to from the very start as you sniffled. it was cruel, getting a taste of what could have been just as he was about to board a plane out of your life, but you couldn’t help the watery laugh that escaped your lips.

“i love you, too, sho. always have.”

he pulls back, and his smile is wide and wobbly, and his eyes hold so much love and so many tears, and it hurts. neither of you look away.

you don’t know who leans in first, but before you know it, your noses are nearly touching. he looks just about ready to plunge in and seal the deal when the intercom interrupts with the announcement to begin boarding his flight. he winces, pulling away slowly to look at the throng of people beginning to line up. he needs to go soon, but he can’t make himself move. he doesn’t want to move.

he squeezes your hand and looks like he’s debating whether he should pick up his luggage and begin his departure or stay by your side for forever. instead, you make the decision for him, tugging him towards you gently and pressing a kiss to his lips. it’s quick and light, but it starts a fire in your chest. you almost regret it, feeling the longing begin to start up again, but the thought quickly leaves your mind when you see the way hinata blinks rapidly and a smile finally makes its way to his cheeks. then he pulls you tightly into his chest and spins you around, once, twice, a third time as he peppers kisses across your face. when your feet finally hit solid ground again, he’s buzzing with the energy he always seemed to have as he gathers his things and leads you as far as airport security will allow.

“i’m gonna make you so proud, (y/n)! i promise! and then when we see each other again, i’m gonna take you out on a proper date and ask you to be my girlfriend and—“

“i know, sho,” you interject, heart feeling just a little lighter as you watch him get further and further out of view. “i’m already so proud.”

his smile gets impossibly bigger then, and he turns on his heel to walk the rest of the way up the walkway. he stops right before he can disappear, and he looks serious again.

“i love you.”

“i know.”

“i’ll come back to you.”

your heart skips a beat, but before you can respond, another passenger pushes him forward. he’s out of sight instantly, and it finally feels safe to cry. but your smile is still in place.

“i know, sho. i know.”

-💛

— from elle! 💛anon you make my heart hurt and for what?? oh my gosh this is amazing! like legitimately so perfectly bittersweet !! gosh, i love this so so much and the fact that it's timeskip!hinata just makes it all the more *chef's kiss* anyways, i'm picking up where you left off for my little scenario (under the cut, as usual; feat f!reader to go along with what 💛anon sent in). hopefully, i'm able to do justice what you've sent in. thank you so much for this, i hope you're having a wonderful day <3 also i'm not too sure if this is for the first date margins q but i'm considering it as that just in case

᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘ ᠃

it’s one of those rare moments wherein he had gotten more than just a couple of days off; in fact, he actually had a couple of weeks. the off season for volleyball had begun — no matches, no tournaments, and for a short while, no practices. just giving the team some rest after months of non-stop playing and training.

the second he had gotten the email that confirmed his time-off, hinata’s fingers found themselves booking a ticket on the nearest flight to brazil, the flight that would bring him back to you. he promised that he would take you out on a date, he couldn’t just show up without a plan. not when all he thought about for most of his waking moments was running home to you.

so he packs his nicest suit, folding it as carefully as he could as to not get it crinkled, and spends all of the 26 hour flight daydreaming of the moment you two would finally meet again in person. would you run up to him? wrap your arms around him? he hopes you would.

you had kept in touch of course, hinata couldn’t allow himself the displeasure of not talking to you at least once a day. but late night video chats, early morning phone calls, and text messages throughout the day could only do so much. he wanted to feel your skin against his, to hear your voice untainted by the thousands of miles of distance, to run his fingertips along the apples of your cheeks and cup your face in the palm of his hand.

and hours from now, he would finally be able to.

hinata stands in the reception area of your office building, flowers in hand, nervous smile on his face. after a nap and a shower, he raced out of his hotel room in his suit, making a reservation to one of your favorite restaurants.

his foot taps on the marbled floor, glancing at his wristwatch every few seconds. he had placed himself by the elevator doors, making himself the first thing you’d see the second you stepped out of it. hinata’s growing more and more impatient as the seconds ticked by, rocking back and forth on his feet. the clock strikes six, any second now.

hinata wishes he could capture the bewildered look on your face, the way you stopped in your tracks the second you made eye contact with him. he gives you a sheepish smile, rubbing a hand on the back of his neck before gesturing into a wave. a quiet little “hi” leaving his lips.

you approach him cautiously at first, tentatively, like you were unsure if he was actually there in front of you. he had told you that he had gotten a couple of weeks off, but he never mentioned using them to fly back to brazil. you’re stunned, breath caught in your throat as your eyes move along the entirety of his figure. there’s no way he was here, this is all just a figment of your imagination; the section of your mind that missed him had finally lost control. you want to keep your steps slow for fear of disappointment.

but your heart and your feet betray you, picking up the pace just as you were a couple of feet in front of him. you practically throw your body against his, wrapping your arms around his neck, hoping he’d be strong enough as to not make the two of you fall on the cold floor of your office building.

hinata takes a few steps back from the force of your body impacting his, but he places an arm around your waist, steadying both himself and you. he hears it, the beating of his heart, loud and clear as he takes in the familiar scent of your perfume.

you pull away, placing your hands on his face just to make sure he was really in front of you. gazing directly into his eyes, you breathe out, “you’re here.”

“i'm here.” hinata confirms, pressing a kiss to your temple; just to let you know he's real.

hinata gazes at you from across the table, reaching out for your hand so he could hold it in his; he needed this, the warmth of your touch, a gentle reminder that he was once again in your presence.

and you were not one to deny him such a simple thing, mostly because you need that reminder as well.

this isn’t the first time you had eaten at this particular restaurant. during his two year stint in brazil, the place had become a source of comfort for the two of you. it’s where you celebrated birthdays, big promotions, or just had dinner when neither of you felt like cooking.

hinata still knows your order by heart, surprising you. in all honesty, you thought he would forget all about you the second he step foot in japan. there’s a small pull at your heartstrings, a flurry in the pit of your stomach, a fluttering in your chest.

most first dates are spent trying to get to know the other person, but hinata already knew you like the back of his hand. and the same could be said of you with him. you knew in the light in his eyes as he talked about his new teammates how much he adored playing with them. and he knew in the smile on your face as you rambled on about the book you had just finished reading that it would become one of your favorites.

you can’t help but stare, how could someone change in just a short amount of time? he had grown more confident, looked the happiest he’s ever been. and it certainly helped that he was wearing a suit — you had mostly seen him in sweatpants and pyjamas, so this was an entirely different look to you.

“you know, i wish you had told me you were coming,” you frown, looking down at your work clothes, knowing that somewhere deep in your closet is a dress that would have been perfect for a night like this, “i would have dressed for the occasion.”

“but you’re already perfect.” hinata says it without missing a beat, with such complete and utter sincerity that your heartbeat pick up just as he said it.

like a true gentleman, he walks you back to your apartment. a place that isn’t exactly foreign to him, his feet leading him on muscle memory alone.

the walk back is filled with his and your laughters, arms looped around the other’s as you made your steps as slow as possible; trying your hardest to extend the time you had.

when you finally reach the front door, hinata stuffs his hands in the pockets of his jeans, suddenly unsure of himself. was this too much for you? was he coming on too strong?

you chuckle, seeing the complete panic in his features, stepping closer to him. you hold his face in your hands, voice barely above a whisper, “i still can’t believe you’re actually here.”

hinata’s breath evens out at your touch, heart finally calming down, blush on his cheeks. and just like that day at the airport, it’s unclear who leans first, but did that matter at this point? everything hangs in the air, months of unsaid words between the two of you, breath hitching as your noses touch.

“i told you i'd come back.” he mumbles against your lips before letting them meet his in a kiss.

᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘ ᠃

a question: what are the hq characters like on a first date? | written on the margins masterlist

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#my addition got so long and why??#pls i'm really sorry i had a lot of fun tho:<<#thank you sm for this 💛anon !!#trying not to think about how that last line rhymed 🤧#written on the margins 🔖#hinata x reader #hinata imagines #hinata scenarios #🎐 — 💛anon! <3

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