#crappy film reviews

[ravenite-void]

Crappy film reviews #2

Mulan (1998)

10/10 Transed me all over again

It's giving "I'm not like other girls" the same way I used to. I'm a guy now (mostly).

I saw it for the first time last night and I've been missing out so much. I'm fucking 20! Aaaaaaa

[rosesradio]

watching winnie the pooh: blood & honey while drinking is the only way to watch the film

[yonderghostshistories]

HAPPY 13TH ANNIVERSARY TO “HOLY FLYING CIRCUS” (2011) 🥳🎉🎊🎂🎈

(Aka the best Monty Python biopic imho)

It’s been 13 BLOODY years since HFC aired on this day (19th October) at 9:00pm on BBC 4 in the year of our lord 2011, but it’s only been a few months since I (and many other of my mutuals) watched and rewatched it this year, and I will always treasure the times that I have seen this wonderful movie!

I remember when I was a newly fresh faced MP fan in 2023 and was slowly and gradually getting into them, and that I was wondering if there was ever a biopic made about Monty Python? I mean, it would be kinda weird that there wasn’t a biopic made about Monty Python, ya’know considering that they were very much influential in the world of comedy and beyond, that it would obviously be a missed opportunity to NOT make a biopic about them.

I then went and logged on into one of the school computers at my secondary school to look up if there was a Monty Python Biopic, in which I googled smth along the lines of “Monty Python Biopic”, and LO and behold, HFC was (iirc) the first result that came up!

I was IMMEDIATELY intrigued to see what HFC was all about, and so I looked at and read the plot synopsis for HFC on IMDb. At the time, it was honestly really cool and interesting fr! Then I looked at the cast and…well. I wasn’t immediately put off by the fact that the cast for the HFC Pythons weren’t exactly 100% identical to the irl Pythons, like they were similar to them but JUST different enough to have a sorta distinct, uncanny feeling to them. But ngl, at the time when I saw photos of the cast, I did have a feeling that was like “ughh….this is soooo obviously cheap, why couldn’t they have gotten a bigger budget for this?”, and now looking back, I do recognise that HFC was, well, made on a BBC 4 budget (aka a low budget, at least for BBC 4) and that the cast and crew had to work with what they had (both in terms costumes and hair) and tbh I was kinda a bit mean on them at that time and that do I regret it. I mean, I still don’t forgive some of the HFC Pythons’ hair cuz OMG Steve Punt/Eric and Phil Nichol/Terry G’s hair is still kinda not good lol 😂 but I do understand why it is what it is.

Anyway, I digress!

It was because of this (plus looking at some rather quite negative reviews of HFC) that I STILL wanted to check out HFC and see what it’s about, but I had INCREDIBLY low expectations for it. At best thinking that HFC would be at least kinda decent, but at worst thinking that it would be kinda mediocre and not the worst but definitely not the best. So, for Christmas 2023, I asked my Dad (iirc) to buy me the DVD for HFC (as well as some other DVDs, those being “A Liar’s Autobiography” the book, the animated film adaptation “A Liar’s Autobiography” (2012), “Remember Me” (2014) starring Michael Palin, “A Field in England” (2013) and “In the Earth” (2021), the latter 2 cuz I was really into the League of Gentlemen/Inside No. 9/Reece Shearsmith at the time and also cuz I love me a bit of horror!). Then came January/February 2024, and I got my DVDs by that time!

(Here’s a crappy looking (affectionate) picture I took of them back in February when I still used my Android phone to take pictures of stuff)

Then I…..didn’t watch them (and in this case HFC) for a couple months after I got them (mostly due to school and exams and shit which made me kinda exhausted and so I didn’t watch much stuff during that time cuz of it), BUT! BUT BUT BUT!!

It was on a somewhat regular day on the 20th of May 2024, when I finally, FINALLY AFTER ALL THIS TIME OF LAYING IT OFF AGAIN AND AGAIN (again due to the exams and studying for said exams and shit) that I decided to finally get the courage to watch HFC in its entirety!! Also cuz I needed to give myself a bit of stress relief and also a lil reward for studying too much lol.

I got the HFC DVD from my living room shelf, I took the HFC DVD out from the plastic cover, I then got my DVD player and carefully inserted the HFC DVD into the DVD player so as to NOT potentially break it, and then…..I finally watched it.

It was…..quite the experience (and I mean this in the most positive way ever!)

Watching the film for the first time genuinely, like GENUINELY, floored my previously low expectations of it. Like, fr IT WAS CRAZY. AND AMAZING. AND WONDERFUL. AND SURREAL. AND FUNNY. Like, it was honestly the best thing I ever watched at that time!!

The HFC Python cast, who I thought was not gonna be the best, was actually fr incredible! Not only did they all get their respective irl Pythons’ mannerisms and expressions on point, but their unique take on each Python was genuinely charming and interesting fr! Especially Charles Edwards/Michael and Darren Boyd/John and their relationship between each other in the film was indeed very captivating to watch (and a lil gay and fan service-y, to which I also love it for that <33).

Speaking of which, Charles Edwards as Michael Palin was unironically the best thing about this film, not only for his voice and mannerisms but his character as well!! Like fr CHARLIE EDWARDS FR LOOKS LIKE ACTUAL MICHAEL PALIN LIKE WHAT?!!?!!

Darren Boyd as John Cleese was also quite great too, like, even if he portrayed him as the “Basil Fawlty Persona” version of John, I felt like it was still pretty much like John’s character, and Darren Boyd/John does show little moments of genuine vulnerability, which make it really more profound imo!

Rufus Jones as Terry Jones, Phil Nichol as Terry Gilliam, Steve Punt as Eric Idle and Tom Fisher as Graham Chapman were also pretty great in this as well! But ESPECIALLY Tom Fisher/Gray as HE ABSOLUTELY STOLE THE SHOW IN THIS MOVIE FR, AND THAT HE ABSOLUTELY SLAYED AS GRAY AND I LOVE HIS JACKETS, HIS SEXINESS, HIS QUOTES, HIS GAYNESS, HIS WISENESS, HIS EVERYTHING AGHHHHH (also he’s really beautiful imo). Like with Charles Edwards/Michael and Darren Boyd/John, their performances as their each respective Python was really amazing, such as Phil Nichol exhibiting Terry G’s childlike craziness and goblin-like energy, to Rufus Jones/Jonesy also acting/double role-ing as Michael’s Wife (in a loving homage to Jonesy playing most of the female characters in MPFC and the films with absolute PERFECTION) to Steve Punt/Eric being very much onto the business side of Python (in which he’s referred to as a “money grabbing bastard”, which I almost quote all the time haha).

Also shoutout to the supporting cast of HFC, they also carried the movie too! My personal favourites being Jason Thorpe as the rude and annoying and obnoxious boss (and very funny) Alan Dick and the LoB obsessed but with good intentions Christian with a stutter Desmond Lovely, Simon Greenall as the Pythons’ Manager/Film Distributor Barry, Paul Chahidi as the meek and trying to make things go well Harry Balls, and Stephen Fry as God (cuz Stephen Fry is an absolute ⚡️✨ ICON ✨⚡️fr)!

Oh yeah, also, I LOVE THE ANIMATIONS AHHHH THEYRE SO AMAZEBALLS FRRR!!!! AND I ABSOLUTELY LOVE LOVE LOVE THE MUSIC TOOO!!!! SHOUTOUT TO THE ANIMATION TEAM AND MUSIC COMPOSER FOR HFC, THEY DESERVE IT FR AND DESERVE ALOT OF APPRECIATION!!!

Also, this movie is fr so funny frfr, have I mentioned that it’s really funny? Cuz it’s really funny! It’s also (like Holy Grail) very quotable indeed, and there’s a lot like ALOT of quotes from HFC that live in my head rent free! My personal favourites among them are:

-“It’s Half Logical, Half Silly!”

-“Eric is a Money Grabbing Bastard!”

-“Glass of Cordial? S P O T O F S O U P ?”

-“Are you Willy waving at Jesus?”

-“Well, I am Gay, I like Neeews, it’s very good for film reviieeewwws 😌😏”

The ways this movie have changed my life for the better (and for the sillier) is that I’ve gone through the rabbit hole and have discovered many, MANY amazing shows and films starring each of the HFC Python actors, for example; “Treacle Jr” (2010) and “The Nine Lives of Tomas Katz” (2000) (both films starring Tom Fisher) are genuinely pretty great and I do recommend you watch them if you can! Plus I bought them and other projects starring each HFC Python on DVD cuz it shows how much I’m THAT dedicated to this movie (HFC) fr, and that I’m fr grateful for discovering this little BBC 4 Pythonesque comedy drama from 2011, cuz if i hadn’t, I’d have missed out on some real great stuff!

I will always love “Holy Flying Circus” (2011) for the rest of my life, and I will always appreciate and treasure it with my entire heart 🫶❤️, and I will continue watching and rewatching it and continue fanning about it into the future! I’m very lucky that HFC came into my life and that I watched it, and that I don’t think I’d be quite the same if I hadn’t the courage to watch the film on the 20th May 2024.

It’ll soon be almost 1 hour to the time (that being 9:00pm) when HFC aired on the 19th of October in 2011 by the time I’m writing this, so I’d like to quickly wrap up by saying:

Thank you “Holy Flying Circus” (2011). Just, thank you ☺️🫶❤️…..

And remember:

“Eric is a Money Grabbing Bastard”.

[bobbydagen24]

comparing the writing in the first film overall with the writing of the Third so people can Hopefully see what my problem is with TBT.

first off lets start with the two films big emotional music numbers that are meant to showcase meaningful character Growth that being "" True Colours ""

and "" Better Place "" now the main Difference between these two is that despite what some negative reviews of the first film said at the time Branch's character Arc wasn't literally just wrapped up in this one song like Bro zone's was in TBT.

True Colours was the climax to Branch's arc but it wasn't literally the only piece of Branch's arc throughout the film we had small hints under his uncaring exterior that he was actually a good guy who just wasn't good at showing it.

like the fact he saved Poppy from those spiders and when he tried to help her come to terms with Creek's supposed death even if his way wasn't 100 percent perfect.

and of course after finally opening up about his grandmother he showed more signs of trying to change for the better helping Bridget by giving her his love poem to say to Gristle Jr.

afterwards attempting to join in on the Snack Pack's happy screaming over Creek still being alive and even pulling a little High five Joke on Poppy showing clear effort of attempts to change beforehand.

he also attempted to comfort Poppy and the others when they opened the locket and Creek was gone and they assumed he was dead and all this leading to True Colours which was the big moment for his Arc.

Bro zone didn't have any of this before hand instead all their moments prior to Better Place are either them being Jerky or its mostly comedic gags with not real flashes of posotive character moments for them that could help with their Arc.

anyway back to True Colours despite technically getting what he said he wanted at the start of the film ( that being for the other pop Trolls to finally stop seeing the world as all cupcakes and Rainbows and finally see the Dark sides of things )

he was actually disheartened to see them all this way and worked to help them get out of this state which he was all too familiar with.

anyway one thing that makes True Colours work better than Better Place imo is

1. Branch still has agency in the choice their all about to die and well his choice to try and lift up the other people's spirits doesn't effect that at all.

I find it very powerful how he still chooses to be happy in that moment and tries to lift the spirits of everyone around him despite the fact that for all he knows his worst fear is about to come true their all about to be eaten by Bergens aka the very thing he's spent most of his life terrified of.

but with Better Place his Bros don't have agency so it isn't a meaningful character moment their literally imprisoned and forced to take part in the Harmony in order to save their own lives its not even just about Floyd anymore.

its sorta like if Branch only sang True Colours to lift everyone's spirits because he needed them to all have access to their longer Hair Powers so they could lift the lid on top of the cooking pot in order for them to escape.

kinda lessens the impact of the scene a bit doesn't it? 🤔🤔🤔🤔

and as I said before True Colours would be a cute scene on its own but if it was literally the only scene that was meant to show Branch's character Arc and growth then yeah it would still fall flat imo but it isn't because the movie made sure to have lots of other little moments.

showing Branch making the effort beforehand so True Colours was just the final result and not literally the only action taken in his Arc.

unlike Better Place where

1. the Bros Agency was taken away so they literally did the Harmony for selfish reasons and

2. it was the only moment meant to show their character Growth which just isn't how character Arcs work.

you don't get to have characters showcase a whole bunch of flaws and frankly crappy behaviour and then have their Arc be wrapped up with a single action that isn't even all that noble no character Arc works that way.

the writing of the first film understood this and did a Fair amount of it Right but TBT didn't understand this at all.

I'm not an Expert writer but this is all fairly Basic stuff.

[stardxstsleep]

the concept of gender is but a joke to me, gender is a punchline.

when I call that man a woman, I am clowning on the concept of gender as a whole.

We have assigned physical and mental traits to labels, labels that not many people like, most people may pick and choose the labels they want, but you can also call out the concept of gender as a whole.

call these four men, call them women, hell, call them a third gender that exists outside the binaries society set, but just remember the gender binary is bullshit

boys, grow out your hair, write thought provoking poetry, be the prettiest princess there is

girls, get that buzzcut, hit the gym, make crappy film reviews

and everyone else, do whatever the fuck you want

gender, gender roles, gender standards, all that is a load of bullshit!

[polyklok]

Movies I think Dethklok members would really like

No this is not based on anything I’m just in a mood™ rn

Nathan Explosion

Mad God

So, no, I did not have any ounce of an idea of what this movie was about when I originally watched it, and I’m still not 100% sure tbh but an hour and a half of these pure vibes would totally be up Nathan’s alley. The post-apocalyptic setting, all the gore, the details of the various monsters, and I think he would just really appreciate it from an artist’s standpoint as well. This movie would just resonate with him, even if he wouldn’t have a fucking clue what was going on the whole time.

Mary and Max

I’m, personally, a bit on-the-fence about this movie, but it is undeniably sweet and I headcanon Nate to be on the spectrum so 🤷

This would be, like, his guilty pleasure film. The movie he knows is for kids and is totally not brutal but he loves it anyway. The, “I do not feel disabled, defective, or a need to be cured” really hits for him every single time. He rewatches it at least once every few months, especially when he’s in some sort of emotional slump.

Mandy

Another one that just like, like, big Nathan energy, you know? He just seems like a guy to really love loose plots with trippy visuals and strong emotions attached to them. Also, this movie is so completely badass, it is certified metal in his book. He also finds the story incredibly tragic; having the love of your life stripped away from you in such circumstances really tugs at his heartstrings, but in a way that gets him pumped up rather than sad. This is probably his go-to when people ask, “what’s your favorite movie?”

Pickles the Drummer

Son in Law

Okay this is my guilty pleasure movie. I usually don’t like stoner-comedy from the 90s, but this movie hits different. Maybe I just find Crawl hot. Anyway, I’m projecting that onto Pickles. He honestly probably finds a lot of crappy comedies to be peak film, and this is no exception. Pauly Shore pretending to be a country boy for a whole movie? Hells yeah. Pickles would watch while high off his mind, laughing his butt off and going to town on some cheez-its or something. And you know what? He deserves it.

Opal

I’m counting short films because I feel like Opal is the movie for Pickles. He’d watch it on a whim, because these are not usually the types of things he enjoys, and then he’d in tears over the emotional rollercoaster he did not agree to go on. Like, he grew up in a neglective household with authority figures that were overly-selfish and projected their own problems onto the youngest one in the house, to which he had to hide within his own brain more often than not just to properly function. And then he just…watched it happen all again in the hypnotic style of Jack Stauber. The Mom’s song had him in gasping tears for a while, the way you get when a movie somehow perfectly captures your own trauma right in front of you. And the ending??? Ugh. Go watch Opal, guys, it’s on YouTube.

Nathan and Pickles both get very emotional about certain stop-motion films, isn’t that crazy?

House

Thank you to Lucy for this Letterbox review that I think he would write

Anyway-

This movie is actually so insane. It’s not scary in a horror-movie way, like it meant to be, it’s scary as in ‘What the hell is happening and why do I understand it?’ Pickles doesn’t like most traditional horror films, as the long, quiet suspense bores him and the sudden jumpscares freak him the hell out way more than they should. But he loves the campy-wacko-type horror that they were apparently making in 70s Japan. It’s just scary enough to get his heart pumping, but the pure silliness of it all overrides that, getting him in a giddy mood and excited to see what happens next.

(No I am not done but tumblr won’t let me add more pictures)

[moviemunchies]

Well, it was either this, or review Netflix’s Twilight of the Gods. And that was trash. So I figured I’d rather talk about a good animated movie than a crappy animated trash fire.

The final Dreamworks film to be animated in-house, The Wild Robot is the story of servant robot ROZZUM 7134, a robot washed up by accident on a wild island in the Pacific Northwest. While perfectly suited for serving human households, serving animals in the wild is much more complicated. Most of the wildlife rejects her as a monster. When Rozzum accidentally crushes a goose nest, destroying the family aside from a single egg, she takes care of it until it hatches, and takes a new task: raising the gosling to be ready to fly south for winter. Fink, a red fox, agrees to help for the food and shelter he gets out of hanging around Rozzum.

Is the end of an era for Dreamworks? This is supposed to be the last movie they animated themselves. Future work will be outsourced. Which is sad, because Dreamworks is one of the great animation studios of our time. Their last few movies that I’ve seen looked really good, too. At least they’ll still be making movies, though not animating them.

This is a gorgeous movie, too! It’s a movie very much about nature, and so Dreamworks gave us stunning visuals of a natural world untouched by human hands (except for a couple of scenes where we see human society). There are a ton of animated movies about the outdoors, and even the wilds of North America, but most of them don’t look anywhere near this good.

Though I should say: this movie doesn’t shy away from depicting how rough nature can be. A large part of Rozzum’s development is learning that animals have to kill and eat each other to survive. This is nature! That’s how it works! Getting around that is a large part of some of the character development, but it’s not a matter of them all becoming vegetarian. It’s a fairly idealistic movie, but not that much. The viewer recognizes that the cycle of life will continue after the events of the film (albeit, with perhaps less vitriol).

There’s something interesting about the setting–yes, the movie is in the wild, but it’s heavily implied that this is some sort of dystopian future. It’s definitely some type of future setting if it has advanced service robots. There are little hints throughout: the migration path, for instance, shows a submerged bridge, and a city in a dome. Is this the result of a climate disaster? Was the island even originally an island, or was its attachment to the mainland also flooded? It does not say explicitly, though, as this movie is not about humans! It’s about a robot and several animals.

[Also! For once, this isn’t a movie where humans make everyone better. It’s not unusual to depict humans as bastards, especially in movies about animals, but recently I feel like so much fiction is about robots/aliens/gods/whatever learning the meaning of life because humans are oh-so-special in a way that no other species is. I found this take relieving, sort of.]

This movie doesn’t end with the goose migration; I half expected it to, given that’s how these movies tend to go. But no! There’s still a lot going on. And I liked that, because the movie wants to deal with the consequences of these events, and what happens to the characters left behind on the migration. That’s nice.

It’s not a completely original story, I should say: look, the idea of a robot learning how to be part of a family, or a character learning to be a parent–these are stories that we tell over and over again. So it takes work to make the story feel fulfilling. Luckily, The Wild Robot did the work–it’s not afraid to tackle dark subjects when the story demands it, it’s willing to show how rough nature is, and it develops its characters to be both likable and complex.

The Wild Robot is a fantastic film. See if you get the chance.

[iris-sistibly]

So...apparently The Impossible Heir only has 12 episodes in total, I thought it was gonna be a 16-episode series. I have just finished episode 6 but I have also spoiled myself for the next couple of episodes that I already have the gist of the direction of the story. I may or may not post a full commentary/review about the series once I am done with all 12 episodes but so far, here's what I have to say:

I do agree that the storyline had a lot of potential, but unfortunately, they fell short as far as storytelling is concerned. The lines were just meh and the lead actress was so painful to watch, painful in the sense that I don't want to see her on-screen, that's how bad her performance was.

Choi Hee-jin was the saving grace of the show, despite being the second lead with only a handful of lines and a few minutes on screen, she NAILED every scene she was in. Lee Jae-wok, Lee Jun-young, and the rest of the cast did really well despite the crappy storyline.

Honestly, they could have saved this whole ass show had they shifted the focus on Han Taeoh and Kang Huiju's relationship the moment Na Hyewon pushed through her marriage with Kang Inha. I'll never get tired of saying this, but Jae-wok and Hee-jin have MUCH better chemistry than all of the former's scenes with Hong Suzu combined. It could have been an opportunity for Taeoh and Huiju to work together and find out the truth about who was trying to fuck up Taeoh or whatever and take KangOh together by storm, and eventually Taeoh realizing that he actually likes Huiju (I mean come on, if they gave an open ending for these two, why not just let them fall madly in-love with each other?) They could have been THE power couple of the show, and the entire series could have been saved.

I hope Jae-wok and Hee-jin would be given an opportunity to work together again as the lead actors of a drama or a film. They deserve a much better project than this.

Oh, and bring in the Taeoh x Huiju fanfics. I would love to read all of them ❤️

[genericpuff]

If I can ask, since you mentioned liking the legend of zelda, what's your opinion on the recent announcement from Nintendo that there's gonna be a Tloz live action movie?

I've seen a lot of people mad because it isn't animated, and I honestly feel the same way. Like, I don't wanna give a not-even-released-movie bad faith (we haven't even seen a trailer for it), but you know... Live action movies based off videogames don't tend to turn out... Well. I hope I'm mistaken of course, but I'm honestly concerned too.

oh god

i am not excited

i wish i could be

i wish i could be hyped for it the way 6 year old me would have been

but the odds just aren't stacked in its favor with the team it has onboard, fucking avi arad, wes ball, and derek conolly

a middle of the road hit or miss producer whose movies often make or break franchises

an industry baby director who directed three crappy movies from the same failure of a franchise and a couple indie flicks

and a mixed-reviews-at-best writer who came up with "somehow palpatine returned"

and yeah the fact that it's live action... why couldn't it have been animated? You're telling me that Breath of the Wild/Tears of the Kingdom was inspired by Ghibli films and you STILL went for a live action approach instead of making it animated by, idk, Ghibli?? or shit, Studio Ponoc even!

and you just KNOW there's a high chance it's gonna be done in the live action disney remake "looks like shit the day it airs" way, not the practical effects "ages like fine wine" lord of the rings way

i want to be optimistic, i want to be hopeful, but i'm just not the kid i was when this movie SHOULD have happened

it happening now just feels like another soulless cog in the multiverse machine, y'know what i mean? the super mario bros movie did well so now ofc it's time for nintendo to 'expand' their film franchises and i just... i'm so tired. i can't. i've spent too long having zelda as my hyperfixation all throughout my childhood to have it go out this way (╥﹏╥)

[blogthebooklover]

Stop! I had no idea it was Phantom's birthday!!! Your reblog made me gasp. Do you have a favourite adaptation????? 🤌❤️

Great question, @french-vanilla-in-the-clouds! I haven't seen too many of the film adaptations, like the Chinese "Song at Midnight" or its remake, or The Phantom Lover. I would like to thank the YouTube channel, Phantom Reviews, for introducing me to the other adaptations of Phantom. Here's a list of my personal favorite POTO adaptations:

The Phantom of the Opera (1925-1929)

This was actually the first silent film I ever watched as a kid, I was around 9 or 10 years old and it was also around the same time that the Andrew Lloyd Webber movie was coming out. I love Lon Chaney's performance as Erik, and his ability as a makeup artist as well. This holds a special place in my heart, because I remember watching it at my grandmother's house. I hope someone can make a proper adaptation of the book with today's technology; however, this is probably the closest one we have so far.

(look at the way he clenches his fist on his sleeve, A.M.A.Z.I.N.G!)

The Phantom of the Opera (2004)

I remember liking this more as a kid and a teen, this has become more of a guilty pleasure movie for me now as an adult. I do appreciate some of the costume designs, I think my favorite is a tie between Christine's masquerade dress and her Think of Me dress. Minnie Driver is always fun to watch as La Carlotta, and Patrick Wilson did his best as Raoul. If it were made today with Emmy Rossum's acting abilities from being on Shameless, I think it could've worked beautifully, I'll give her some leeway because she was a teenager then.

(This is my favorite shot of Erik, btw)

The Phantom of the Opera (1990)

Btw, this was actually my first introduction to Charles Dance before Game of Thrones. I know this is technically also an adaptation of another musical prior to Lloyd Webber's, Yeston and Kopit; regardless, I like how this version of Erik is more on the sweet side, but he does have his limits (and I love his sarcastic remarks about Carlotta lol). I wish we could have seen what his disfigurement looked like, however, I do appreciate how the filmmakers wanted the audience to imagine it for themselves.

Goosebumps' The Phantom of the Auditorium (1995)

Okay, so I haven't actually read any of the Goosebumps books. I liked watching the TV show a bit more. This episode was a fun, kid-friendly version of Phantom.

(excuse the crappy quality of the photo)

Phantom of the Paradise (1974)

Okay, this one is a lot of fun. I do like how it was more rock and roll, and I like this Phantom's design, it almost reminds me of Panna a Nevtor, or the Czechoslovak Beauty and the Beast movie. There's definitely some campiness to the film as well, especially with Beef (the La Carlotta counterpoint), and Winslow's court case scene.

Phantom of the Megaplex (2000)

I have a soft spot for this one, because it was the first time where I saw clips of the Lon Chaney film featured in the beginning. On paper, I do like the premise of a guy haunting a movie theater, and I do like some of the more "Phantom" moments where he's disrupting each theater with something, like the projector bubbling out, or the dinosaur balloon. Also, I do like Mickey Rooney's speech about movies and movie-going.

[olderthannetfic]

Wish has dragged the "adorkable female hero" criticisms back out of the mud, and I don't disagree with them per se - for me, my main issue is with the fact that so many movies are just incapable of genuine emotion these days and every emotional moment has some sort of crappy "well...THAT just happened" one-liner. But I also feel like peoples' issues with "adorkable" heroes can become quite sexist. One film reviewer I usually like a lot even said "at least Anna and Mirabel have 'reasons' to be awkward because they're sheltered and traumatized," and it doesn't at all sit right with me to argue that the only justification for awkwardness is...trauma? Lots of people are awkward. Do we all need "reasons" to be? What makes Encanto good to me is that Mirabel is awkward but also compassionate and competent, she has a sense of humour but is also a rounded human who is allowed to feel emotions. My criticisms are when "adorkable" heroes aren't allowed to be more than a collection of one-liners and visual gags, not with "adorkable" heroes themselves. It's an issue when peoples' annoyances with "adorkable" heroes end at the point that they're basically just arguing that women heroes NEED to be demure, feminine, modest and serious to be likeable, and...is that the hill we all want to die on? Seriously? And because I'm at it, can we pleaaase stop the facade that old Disney princess movies were subversive bastions of feminist progress. It's not antifeminist to have a fantasy about being rescued by a prince but come on, they weren't intelligent genre deconstructions either. Disney's real era of subversive masterpieces was in the late 80s and then the late 90s/early 00s when Pixar hit the scene, IMO. It's true that Disney isn't as competent as it used to be, but it's not as if "fantasy for fantasy's sake with a straightforward plot, basic to nonexistent morals and themes, and no attempts to deconstruct the genre" is NEW for Disney. That's...most of their old princess movies. And I LIKE the princess movies! None of this is an attempt to shit on them. I know we're all tired of the "it's a movie for children" defense, but I feel like there is some truth to the idea that it's not BAD for a movie to just set out to be a hero versus villain fantasy and not set out to be the next Toy Story, you know? They don't have to have these massively nuanced themes. I'm sure if the old princess movies were released now everyone would complain about them too.

--

[ravenite-void]

how about I start myself a new series called Crappy film reviews? First subject:

National treasure (2004)

Starring Nicolas Cage, Diane Kruger and Justin Bartha we get a somewhat cliché like story that in a few shots looks like Indiana Jones.

My main issue is with the romance thing. It's rushed, unnecessary and in a way feels toxic? A guy kidnaps a pretty accessory (read: mandatory female lead) l and she stays first because she's threatened and cares about her work and when her kidnapper doesn't stop she wants to protect the prized artefact. Amendable work for the writers. The way Ben treats her at the beginning is icky too.

In a way if the romance was left out she'd be well written. She's intelligent and passionate about history and protecting the relics.

But then she falls in love with him? What in stockholm bad writing syndrome is that?

Next we have questionable use of VFX for a magical map that wildly goes against the attempt of making it all seem somewhat real and the music that gives same amount of drama to minor things and actually scary and exciting moments alike.

Boromir got the shirt end of the stick again. He lived for the entire movie but was an annoying villain. Well written though.

All in all, considering the engaging storytelling and well served plot 6.7/10.

[sunniesapphic]

I FINALLY WATCHED THE ARI AND DANTE MOVIE AND I HAVE THOUGHTS!!!!!!!!!! BUT IM LITERALLY GOING TO COPY AND PASTE MY EXCESSIVELY LONG LETTERBOXD REVIEW BECAUSE I CAN NEVER BE CONCISE EVER AND I DONT THINK I CAN EXPRESS MY FEELINGS BETTER PLS ENJOY:

this is one of my favorite books ever. i read it during a difficult time in my life and it helped me process a lot of my feelings. which makes the act of judging this movie feel impossible. i loved the acting, especially max pelayo's performance as ari. the costuming was... questionable. while book ari would never be caught dead in a crop top and short shorts, i appreciated this choice because i found it funny. this film was so beautifully shot, every single shot adds to the story the same way that the literary elements add to the layers in the book. i felt like the book's dialogue didn't translate to screen super well because it's so stilted, made some of it feel more awkward than necessary. so back to camera work! it was so visually stunning and then it ended in crappy cgi which was disappointing. i honestly can't tell how good the pacing and flow of the movie is because i know the book's plot too well. as with many book to film adaptations, im disappointed by some of the cuts made. however i loved seeing tia ophelia before her death. but at the end of the day, there were more cuts than additions/expansions and that's frustrating. i have a strong urge to reread the book now. also they should've let ari say the word "fuck". overall the book was better but it was an endearing, heartfelt adaptation with beautiful performances and cinematography and im happy it exists

[bookshelvesandtealeaves]

✨ BOOK REVIEW ✨

Here We Go Again by Alison Cochrun

⭐️⭐️⭐️

[instagram]

Conflicted is kinda an understatement for this one.

I love the entire concept. Death road trip, saying goodbye to life in such a spectacular fashion with the people you love, is really just beautiful. This would make a genuinely great film.

The ups and downs and the beauty and sorrow of the whole road trip really tugged at my heart, filled me with wanderlust, made me laugh and cry in equal measure.

But my god, the characters. I just did not like Rosemary or Logan AT all. I’m all for flaws, for unresolved trauma, for crappy decisions and childhood heartache and messy lesbians. But these characters felt like caricatures of the most extreme opposites. And their second chance romance just did not feel earned for me.

[theharpermovieblog]

#HARPERSMOVIECOLLECTION

2025 MOVIE LIST

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I watched Hellboy: The Crooked Man (2024)

This one will make you long for the maligned 2019 version. I am not responsible for the frantic and poor way this review is written.

In 1959, Hellboy gets sidetracked on a routine mission and ends up facing off against witches and the crooked man.

You might know director Brian Taylor from the "Crank" movies, where he shared directing duties with Mark Neveldine. The "Crank" movies are ridiculous, but a whole bunch of fun, which is why I kind of had my hopes up for this.... slightly up. Maybe it'd be bad, but ridiculously and violently bad in the best way.

I was wrong and my mild hopes were quickly dashed. I watch a lot of crappy movies, and for many of them I always try to find nice things to say, but I don't have much more than complaints here.

Sure, occasionally a shot would pop up that I liked, or a half-assed joke would make me smirk a little, but that's like looking at a turd, being happy there's no blood and then smirking when you see a little piece of corn in it. Too harsh? I don't think so. Hellboy is a beloved character and this feels like a cheap cash grab with his name stapled to it.

"Hellboy: The Crooked Man" is an obviously cheap film, but budget is not something I'll hold against it, or any film. So, while this movie does go back and forth between looking like a B-Horror and a CW drama, I was willing to overlook it. Yes, the CGI is garbage and the practical effects aren't top-notch, but there is so much more to a movie than that. However, everything else in this version of "Hellboy" is just as bad, and that makes the ugly CGI and cheap action scenes that much worse.

The majority of the dialogue is hackney and flat, in a story that isn't structured well. It's a stretched out episode of a bad TV show, struggling to be a feature length movie, desperate to seem cool and clever. The half-assed attempt at stuffing in some kind of stakes and character development feels almost insulting.

The action sequences are boring, short, and few and far between. So un-fun and lazy that they came off like an annoyance, desperate to get my attention, like a little kid wanting me to watch their shitty, poorly performed magic trick.

Most of the acting here is Unengaged, bad, or a bit too much, even for a comic book movie. A few character actors do some good work on the sidelines, including Joseph Marcell, who you know as Geoffrey from "The Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air.", but it's not worth the effort.

Jack Kesy in the role of Hellboy doesn't have near the same charm in the role as Ron Pearlman or David Harbour. He seems to be doing his best impression of Mickey Rourke's Marv from "Sin City" and it's not working. He's bland and teetering on unlikeable. The moments that do work barely land and are grains of sugar in a bowl of salt.

Honestly, the fact that the "Hellboy" franchise has reached this kind of low is sad. This is "Superman 4" bad. This is 1990's "Captain America" bad. Worse even. It's not even fun to laugh at. It just sucks.

Do yourself a favor and just don't bother.

[gojirawave]

Godzilla Minus One Non-Spoiler Review

Holy shit, I loved it. Perfection, it lived up to the hype. I genuinely think this is just gonna be one of those theater experiences I remember the rest of my life it felt life changing. Takashi Yamazaki cooked a gourmet 5-star meal here. As far as solo, "Godzilla vs. The People of Japan" type of Godzilla movies go, this rivals the original 1954 film in terms of quality, which is crazy to say since I adore that movie. The human drama was excellent, and I felt so much dread and worry for the human characters, Ryunosuke Kamiki was amazing as Kōichi Shikishima.

I felt my heart breaking for him at multpile points in the film. He's definitely a tortured soul hunted by the past and his regrets, and I was desperately rooting for him to survive throughout the movie. Same goes for all the other characters, to be honest. There's not one character in this film I didn't dislike or felt bored by, I'm not sure I could pick one supporting character I like more than another. They're all likable characters that you want to see survive and overcome Godzilla.

And speaking of the big man himself, Godzilla in this movie is, well, he's genuinely scary. Not in a gross mutilated way like Shin Godzilla, but in a more angry, pissed off, visceral way, he felt genuinely ragefull and unhinged full of destructive hatred. I loved him. MinusGoji cemented himself in my top 5 Godzillas.

This is genuinely the first time I've been genuinely afraid of Godzilla. Sure, it probably helped that I saw it in an Imax theater, and it sounded like he was about to bust through the screen. Still, I'm sure if I saw it again in a crappy little theater or my TV, I'd still feel the same, this Godzilla is scary, and I love it.

Anyways, 10/10 movie. Maybe I'm still riding the high of this experience, but idc this felt like a life changing type of movie for me, and it's a 10/10.