#crack wip

[hopelesslonelyghost]

poly!141 where the five of you go out for drinks and on the walk back to the car your heel gets stuck in a grate and when you try to pull it out it does not budge.

all the guys are laughing and poking fun at you. you huff and say “have at it!” and then hop over to a nearby bench and sit there with your arms crossed.

first attempt was johnny. he cracks his fingers and says, “watch an’ learn, lass.” and then proceeds to struggle to free your heel. after about like 5 minutes of trying he gets up, scratches his head and is like “uhhhh ah tried🧍”

one by one, you watch them all have a turn and twisting and turning and pulling, trying to get your heel to come out. but it just won’t.

you TRIED to hold in your laughter. you really did. but witnessing four of the strongest soldiers you know sorely losing against a stuck heel just has you in stitches. clutching your stomach, wheezing and laughing so hard you have to rub your back bc it’s cramping.

and then simon is like “fuckin’ hell!” and gives one last tug and breaks your heel.

and now you’re kinda sad bc you actually really liked them. and now you’re like “soooo how am i supposed to walk now?”

and johnny just shrugs, strides over to you, grabs your arm, yanks you up and uses that momentum to sling you over his shoulder.

you squeak and immediately go to pull the hem of your already very short dress down.

“johnny my ass is out!”

“meh, der’s no one bu’ us, lass. ‘sides, it’s not somethin’ we haven’t seen before.”

you pout.

simon just ruffles your hair and says something along of the lines of taking you to get a new pair.

kyle and john just laugh at the leftover piece of heel still fucking stuck.

“next time we carry you, yeah love?”

“sod off!”

[xinganhao]

🎭 svt when idol!reader releases a breakup song.

anon → "may i request when idol!s/o releases a breakup song? maybe for like a promotion or a comeback but not because of svt iykwim"

⌗ ┆ i have a soft spot for my earlier idol!reader work so it was fun to revisit them <3 a little more crack, less headcanons than usual lol

‧₊˚✩彡 includes: idol!reader, f!reader, established relationship, pet names, fluff, crack, [short] headcanons under the cut.

🎭 headcanons .ᐟ

— drama line ✩ seungcheol, junhui, mingyu, vernon.

all the boys are bound to kick up a fuss one way or another, but nobody throws a tantrum like choi seungcheol. that man will be on your case for weeks. "why couldn't it have been a love song? why are you so good at singing about breakups?" junhui is equally dramatic, though in a different manner. he goes down the route of spite. the song is officially banned in the dorms. if anyone plays it in his vicinity, he will honest-to-goodness glare them down. as far as he's concerned, you have no reason to be crooning about situationships when you have a perfectly good partner waiting for you at home! mingyu is in the exact same boat, by the way. he is personally offended. he knows he's been a good boyfriend. and you're out here singing like he's broken your heart? oh, hell no. mingyu is going to get ridiculously over the top with his boyfriendisms to prove a point to— well, maybe just to himself. in contrast to the rest, vernon takes a different approach. a little moral high road, if you will. he doesn't whine about it, but he does get— in the other boys' words— 'emo' about the whole thing. an instagram rebrand? frank ocean being one of his top artists of the month? ... you get the picture.

— sweetheart line ✩ joshua, soonyoung, wonwoo, seokmin, minghao, seungkwan.

a good number of the boys would take the breakup song with relative grace. joshua is aware that it's strictly work, but he doesn't miss out on the opportunity to tease you a bit about it. he'll take any opportunity to remind you of how much he cares about you, even if it is in a roundabout sort of way. wonwoo usually errs more on the side of rationality, too, though this breakup song scares him just a teensy bit. he doesn't bother you about it; he'll cope in his own little way until he comes around. (he's not opposed to reaffirmations of your love, though.) at this point? soonyoung and seungkwan can be a comedy act, really. we have soonyoung apologizing for every little thing he's done, just so he can ascertain that you will not be writing about him in your next album. and then we have seungkwan who assumes the song is a not-so subliminal message of some sorts; he is immensely relieved when you tell him that you're not, in fact, ending things via comeback. and the sweetest of them all. seokmin doesn't care if it's a four minute song. he'll take apart every single lyric, offering you reassurances that you don't even need, until you have a hard time performing the song with sincerity because your boyfriend has made it much less convincing. meanwhile, minghao spends hours ruminating before just asking outright. he's a bit shy at the fact that he's potentially overthought this, although he'd much rather be overprepared on being a good boyfriend than fall on the other end of the coin.

— revenge line ✩ jeonghan, jihoon, chan.

did you think jeonghan was kidding about couple's therapy? absolutely not. booking a session for the two of you is, in part, a joke, sure. but he's also a believer in therapy, anyway, so it becomes one of your... admittedly weirder dates, but there are certainly worse ways to unpack this non-issue. jihoon and chan stick to what they know best. jihoon's teasing of a 'response' song just means that there's going to be a certain track in the next mini-album that may or may not answer the questions/refute the claims/reassures the worries of your breakup ballad. he's classy that way. chan, on the other hand, has a lot less finesse. he's not so subtle in the way he literally makes up a routine— is it a slow song? he'll do contemporary, then!— and posts it for everyone to see. he needs everyone to know that he is unbothered. flourishing. in his lane.

[th3e-m4ng0]

cybertronian food

[thecmaly]

really? right in front of my karaage?

-

more windbreaker comics

[sincerelywhistler]

Tight squeeze

Bonus Davey image because I know no self restraint (& the actual post)

[st-hedge]

Dante gotta fucking die 🤗

[hannibard]

Geralt: you're beautiful

Jaskier:

Jaskier: witcher eyesight mustn't be as good as the rumors say because it took you over 20 years to notice

[tyquu]

AHHHH I want to eat all your WIP titles like little fruit snacks!!! I gotta know about the motorbike one and Ezra sketches (ok that was 2 but I can’t resist 😵‍💫)

2 for you my beloved moot <3

Crack Modern AU (Not to be confused with the sad modern AU I posted tidbits of a while ago) where instead of the purgilling Ezra runs Thrawn over.

And Ezra sketches :3 !!

[that-nerd-who-writes-fanfiction]

Truth spell, insults are lies if you don’t believe them - cursed Merlin, Arthur isn’t actually a dollophead

So it’s only a one shot with few thousand words, but basically Merlin gets cursed with a truth spell by a witch who was frustrated that Emrys hadn’t even told the once and future king that magic isn’t good or bad, it just is. He’s not compelled to say anything, his secrets are his own, but if he tries to lie the truth comes out.

They realise what the curse is when Arthur asks Merlin if he’s okay in his own way of insulting him and Merlin can only compliment him in return,

This is sort of the general vibe of it summed up in a bit of dialogue:

Arthur: Merlin, why the hell would you jump in front of a curse!

Merlin: I wasn't going to let you get hurt.

Arthur: You idiot! You’re not a knight!

Merlin, increasingly more passionately complimenting him as he tries and fails to insult him: Well you're a reckless good man and I care about you too much! I- I mean- you're a great king! You're smart and pretty!

(Arthur’s stood there looking shocked, unable to react, getting slightly flustered at being called pretty. Merlin realises there’s one insult that still works because it’s become a term of endearment for him)

Merlin: Prat! Haha! It works!

Merlin: You're a prat and I can't bear the thought of you getting hurt!

Merlin: Damnit! Why isn’t this working?!

Arthur, realising what’s happening, teasing: Why isn’t what working, Merlin?

Merlin: Calling you a kind hearted, too good, smart and talented golden kingly prat! I give up! *storms off into the woods*

Then there’s a confession, cute Merthur moments, and Arthur gets to learn about magic because Merlin needs to tell him the trr about it before the spell can be broken.

If anyone has any ideas for what I can name this, it’d be greatly appreciated. The titles are always the worst part of fics

[bloominglegumes]

sneak peek for a silly little side project ive been working on lately,, (audio from tim burton's corpse bride)

[nosnexus]

Two badass princesses finally meeting

[gravygranola]

"he's so babygirl" - @modharvest

[swordmaid]

It was more a picture than a proper coat of arms, and the sight of it took her back through the long years, to the cool dark of her father’s armory. She remembered how she’d run her fingertips across the cracked and fading paint, over the green leaves of the tree, and along the path of the falling star. - AFFC Brienne II.

[marvelousbuckley]

Mommy, who's your daddy?

Jee-Yun has a question for her mom before bed. “So, does it mean Uncle Tommy is your daddy too?”

Or, the one where Maddie learn about her brother's daddy kink in the worst way possible, inspired by the great @judymarch15 and her incredible fic who's (not) your daddy ❤️

Go read it on AO3

I'll write another chapter with Maddie confronting Buck if you want!

Tagging people that likes me enough not to tell me to shut up lmao ❤️

@do-androids-dream-ao3acc @sunnywithachanceofbi @waywaychuck @aplaceinme

@kinkley-are-adorkable-flirts @sunset-bobby @geekfan67 @nymeria1105

@sweaters-and-silly @firewasabeast @hyperfocusthusly @jyt1891

@half-oz-eddie @dadbodbuck @magicallarynx @dark-alice-lilith

@gyraethere @flyboyhan @unfuckablebogtroll @a-mel0n

@pati79 @bobbinsnash @quintessenceofdust88

[teeth-draws]

This was meant to be the first picture in a series but ummm idk ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Rising from the dead to doodle my favourite boy from @shepherds-of-haven

[royalarchivist]

Pac: Oh, Nenê... How cute... 🥺💕

After dying to an atomic creeper in a cave and stressing over potentially losing all his items, Pac returns home to set his spawn and receives a sweet surprise:

His cat falls asleep on top of him and purrs when he goes to bed :')