#cr would be wildly hard

[belovedblabber]

I gotta start on season two of tlovm I miss Percy my unhinged little meow meow

[cheesecakethots]

Part 2

Your mother had described meeting her soulmate, your father, as the most influential moment of her entire life, despite the fact it had been so ordinary.

They had simply been passing each other in a busy marketplace, and happened to brush hands. The static and pull they both felt only meant one thing, and the rest was history.

Your siblings met their soulmates before you, your older brother even having met his as a young child. Maybe that’s why you were chosen, and not them. Maybe that’s why they didn’t fight for you, after all.

The village you live in had a harsh winter, with no crops being able to grow and people starting to freeze to death in their own homes. You had known the village leaders were the superstitious type, but you almost scoffed aloud when they declared the hardships faced must’ve been the work of a vengeful spirit or yokai.

You had been woken up when some of them dragged you out of bed, still in your flimsy old nightgown that did nothing to protect you from the frosty bite to the wind. Your father didn’t intervene, didn’t cry, didn’t do anything as he watched them carry you away. Your mother had broken into sobs when you screamed at her to save you, but still did nothing. Your siblings didn’t even bother to leave their rooms to watch you be hauled off like some livestock on route to a chopping block.

The woods were long and hard to traverse, but it wasn’t long before they had taken you to the centre, using old and frayed rope to tie you by the waist to a thick tree trunk. They didn’t turn back when leaving, didn’t so much as spare you a glance while you screamed and screamed and screamed.

You stopped after ten minutes, instead allowing yourself to cry silently, hoping that you would wake up soon with your parents ready to comfort you, your siblings waiting to laugh off your silly nightmare. No such thing happened.

It’s been about half an hour now. Maybe less. Maybe more. You’re certain at this point that no hungry spirit is going to find you, and instead you’re going to die a slow, cold death, all alone. Well, maybe not slow.

You don’t hear the soft crunches of snow in front of you, too busy staring at your own feet that are starting to go blue.

“Hm, what do we have here?”

Your eyes glance up. For a second you believe that you’re hallucinating, taking note of the clearly wealthy man in a large hat before you, as well as the men in armour situated behind him.

The man raises an eyebrow. “Well?”

Mouth opening and closing, you attempt to splutter out something, but what comes out is a shaky, unsure breath.

He scoffs, moving closer, “Speak up, will you? Or is your throat frozen?”

A cough leaves you, your throat feeling scratchy and dry, but you spit something out nonetheless.

“Th-They l-l-left me h-here,” you stammer, your voice shaking and teeth chattering wildly. Every breath you take feels as though the ropes around your torso are tightening and tightening.

“Who left you here?” He asks, despite the fact that he sounds rather uninterested.

“Th-The village. M-My fa-family. They left me h-here to die,” you whisper, and you’re surprised by the bitterness you somehow have the strength left to conjure. You look up at him, tears still streaming down your face, “H-How cou-could they throw me a-away like that?”

Something in his expression shifts, and he takes another step towards you, head tilting to the side as he considers something.

“Why did they leave you here, then?”

“Sa-Sacrifice to a yokai. T-They thought it w-would s-stop the wi-winter and help the cr-crops grow.”

He chuckles, but there seems to be little amusement in his tone. “How ridiculous.”

You cough again, your body shivering all the more. You’re going to die soon, you know it.

“What would you offer me if I were to save you?”

Hope doesn’t crawl into your veins at his words, instead a dry sob leaves you, “I have n-nothing left to give. Nothing.”

“Not even your gratitude?”

His eyes meet yours once again, and you can’t help but note how very pretty they are, despite the fact you’re on the verge of death.

“I-If you save m-me, I’ll forever be indebted to you.”

“Hm. It’ll have to do.”

The ropes holding you up fall before you can even realise what’s happened, and in turn so do you, landing on your hands and knees, your body quaking violently.

“Up. Otherwise you’ll freeze to death here. Stand up.”

But you can’t. Any apologies you have die on your tongue when he tuts, kneeling in front of you.

He reaches a hand out to roughly pull you up by the wrist, “Archons, I have to do everything aroun-“

His grip on you leaves as fast as it came, and he stumbles back on his feet a little, watching as you peer up at him, eyes wide.

You don’t have much time to consider the consequences of what has just happened, as your body finally gives way, and you collapse into the snow in front of your soulmate.

[katz-chow]

not yet...

synopsis: john price is a very patient man. warnings: 18+ i will block ageless & minor blogs. soft dom price, gn!reader, (pretty extreme?) edging and denial, bondage, gags, face fucking, remote control vibrator, messy reader

a/n: horny, ovulation, womp womp.

thinking about how strictdom!price would definitely be in control of your orgasms.

how he would most definitely edge and denial you for hours maybe even days if he feels like it. it’s not your fault, it never is—you’re always his good play thing, so obedient. but he wants to have his fun too.

so when you give him the greenlight, he ties you up with a spreader bar, standing up against the wall. i think when he wants to be mean, he loves bondage. gags, especially ring gags so your spit just drips out and he can stick his fingers into your mouth, gathering it up and using it as live against your hard nipples.

standing there, hands tied up behind your back, drool rubbing down your sternum and stomach, and legs spread so far apart that your slick is falling in a string down onto the hardwood.

his fingers trail down from your nipples and he finally touches you, your legs buckling. his thigh lands in between yours, keeping one of your legs up and pinned against the wall.

then off goes one edge, you’re panting already, eyes hazy and whimpers loud, having no way to silence them.

then another.

and another

“come on baby, it’s just one more…”

“precious baby, look at you go. how many was that? 7? 8? aw…all swollen and desperate for my touch”

you whimper as tears flow down your face and saliva continue to accumulate on your chest, drying and then gathering again in a messy, dirty cycle.

you can hardly feel your legs another, mindlessly just standing as the cool air calms down your nerves. it’s extra sensitive now and you’re so desperate, knowing that just a few more minutes and that dam of heat in your stomach will break and burst.

panting, his hands find that specific spot again and your eyes roll back, knees buckling like a newborn fawn. your eyes trail him as your head leaned back against the hard wall, pleading him.

and just as you’re about to cum, his hand pulls away and you let out a cry, so understimulated and overstimulated that it’s all so confusing. you watch him intently as price’s lips meet the top of your head as his hands undo the knot that keeps your own locked up and away

you’re confused, aching, and utterly confused when he undos all your ties and gag and carries you into the bathroom, cooing praises and affirmations.

but you’re tired and so you nuzzle up against him, as he draws you a bath.

two days after that, you found yourself on a similar position, hogtied with your head at the edge of the bed.

price got more creative the next time around, finding the softest red rope he could find and tying you up in beautiful, intricate knots only a military man could do...oh wait.

you whimpers as his cock slips into your mouth, your gag was gone today which meant 1.) your jaw isn't sore anymore but also 2.) he's making you say things to get what you want.

"say it baby, say how much you want my cum in you" he looks down at you as his hand grips your hair, yanking your head up to look at him. you're too dazed to look at him fully, eyes hazy and lustful as he denies your orgasm until the number reaches double digits. it was getting harder and harder to even pay attention to his words, the remote-controlled vibe buzzing wildly in between your tied legs.

but just as you were about to cum, he stops it with his other hand on the control. you cry as tears flow freely down your face.

"you didn't answer me...too bad, darling, was feeling nice that time."

you whine and try to inch closer to him, nuzzling his slick cock onto your cheek as an apology. "i need you, please..."

another bubble bath was drawn soon after that.

third day and things were different, no more ropes, gags, vibrators, nothing anymore.

just you say on the john's lap, his lips nuzzled into the crook of your neck as his fingers play around with you, using your sensitive and eager slick as lube. every stroke, every feather-light glaze of his fingers tips and you were so so close to cumming, it felt embarrassing. like you've never been touched by him before, but you have over a hundred times now. if anything he can't keep his hands off of you.

unbeknownst to you, you not cumming was driving him crazy as well. the caretaker role that he lets take over him is screaming as you're left unsatisfied every night before now. but the primal, strict captain in him rejoices whenever he sees you beg, repeating a string of "please" and his name over and over like a prayer. god, it gives him chills. when you cry and throw yourself into his embrace, humping his thigh or arm, so desperate to get off... he feels bad, just a tad bit.

so now he has you gently held in his arms as your nails dig into his skin, feeling so so sensitive. you cry as he stop, begging for more, yet when he does touch you, it feels so overwhelming you beg him to stop. you're confused and your dumb little brain can't process it. he's just trying to make you feel good...

but then he finds the right pace and then the right pressure and you feel his chest rumble with a chuckle as you finally melt into his embrace and rub up against him, panting and letting moans fill your shared bedroom.

"making you feel so good yeah? going so light and gentle yet you're squirming already...gonna cum for me?" john cooed as his pace and pressure stayed consistent, even as your back arches and sweat covers your body.

you feel the familiar feeling at your lower stomach, the burning, cracking fire that's about to burst. more begging and whimpers fall from your lips as his hand continues. you're ready for him to stop, to leave you hanging, messy and slick coating you.

but the arm around your waist holds you still as his pace remains the same. you whimper, "g-gonna cum...fuck!"

he kisses and nibbles the tip of your ear as you scream, your orgasm finally, finally rupturing through you. you feel your back arch as your head digs into john's chest, mouth hanging open as your body tenses up.

the orgasm washing through you for what seems like ages before you can register anything again. the first thing you noticed was the lingering of john's cologne that you hadn't noticed when he had you strip in front of him. and how soft his hands were, holding onto the flesh of your stomach and thigh as he grounds you. and then you hear his voice.

"it's okay, love...poor thing. didn't that feel good, hm?"

you nod, absent-mindly as he holds you close, dragging a throw blanket over you as hooks an arm under your legs to turn you that he's cradling you. he gives you a kiss on your cheek, then your nose, and then a long, soft one on your lips, before one on your forehead, inhaling your scent.

master list | letter box | main directory

drop by the letter box!

[utilitycaster]

(not accusatory in tone) But in what ways does Dropout specifically cater to their loud obnoxious fans? I am a pretty casual D20 fan and only briefly lurked in Dropout’s discord when it existed, but I’ve seen this sentiment a few times now where people say Dropout listens to these fans as opposed to say CR, who has definitely backed out of unmoderated fan spaces. I was curious how Dropout differed (especially as much of their cast seems to use twitter and social media sparingly)?

I believe that the Dropout server's collapse is directly tied to the fact that they never had a "keep it on topic" rule, clumsily tried to implement a "no politics rule", and listened to a loud and unpleasant minority on Twitter who pushed back so hard that they opened up multiple political channels. Their next Discord survey specifically requested (volunteer) mods from specific minority backgrounds, one of which was a group of which I am a part, which was frankly disgusting - like, the reason pretty much any other fan server I've seen has a broad "on topic" policy is because most fan server moderators are like "I can handle making sure people keep it appropriate to a D&D show; I am not prepared to moderate discussion on geopolitics." The fact that the Dropout server's solution was to ask people from minority backgrounds to do this labor was infuriating and I have to admit, had they not shut down the server soon after I'd have at least written an actual letter (well, email) saying that unless they started paying mods, I would cancel my subscription over it. (I did say that I found this wildly inappropriate in the survey).

I also found their mods even before that whole debacle to be grossly incompetent. The biggest example I have in mind is that in The Ravening War, Lou's character Deli was at minimum flirting heavily with his aunt by marriage (and that this was reciprocated) and the mods like...outright said this wasn't happening because it would be icky, in pretty much those words; but this was not an isolated incident.

On the other side, Critical Role has pretty consistently only listened to fans for major missteps (the Wendy's one-shot) and otherwise has stuck to their guns on setting their own timeline and agenda for making or not making political statements, keeping moderated fan spaces on-topic, and also just not giving into fan requests that would require immense and impossible to moderate effort for very limited benefit (the biggest of which is their choice to keep their existing blanket content warning in most situations, despite a similarly small but loud contingent back in early 2021 making a commotion about it).

I think most of the problems with Dropout listening to fans stopped once they made the server read only. I do think that the fandom generally still has some of that problem (there's a zine scene, which I think is great, honestly, but a lot of the people who work on the D20 zines think they're king shit of fuck mountain for doing so) but I no longer think that any representatives of Dropout the company are listening; I think the server led them to learn their lesson.

[feralbutfluffy]

41: Muriel

Chapter 41 of Too Wise to Woo Peaceably

********************************************

Saraqael had not been well when Muriel had miracled them three floors down to the Requisitions Department of Heaven, and they certainly hadn’t been well enough to tuck their wings away into another plane, which had made Muriel’s task significantly harder. Carrying an injured angel was manageable. Carrying an injured angel with limp wings that were large enough to block the view of the floor at your feet and double as a tripping hazard was much, much more difficult.

Muriel had carried on regardless, partly because it needed to be done and partly because it took their mind off the fact that they had left Crowley and Aziraphale alone to fight that crazed thing.

When Muriel had first heard about The Metatron wanting to separate Crowley and Aziraphale they had thought it must be some sort of misunderstanding, some corporate reshuffling that had got wildly out of hand. Now, having seen The Metatron monstrous and violent, they thought Crowley’s awful experience in Heaven made a lot more sense.

A lot more.

Still, Muriel found it really very hard to reconcile the frenzied menace they had just witnessed with the kindly man they had met at the bookshop. The same person who had once told them reading was a perfectly splendid thing to do had just roared flames at them! Surely that wasn’t normal? Shouldn’t somebody look into that?

Muriel had arrived at Requisitions still reeling. The angel at the desk had eyeballed Saraqael with interest that almost bordered on curiosity. Thankfully asking questions was considered quite inappropriate in Heaven as a general rule, so they stayed silent. The silence made Muriel think of their notebook - their little material object positively crammed with curiosity - and they had felt an odd twinge, a gentle pinch of a thought. 

It’s not right.

Muriel ignored it and handed over the paperwork for a new chair for Saraqael. The angel at the desk looked it over, brow furrowed, and looked up at Muriel.

“You’re replacing a previous chair, I see.”

“Yes,” nodded Muriel.

“You need to account for the previous chair before you can get a new one,” said the angel in a bored voice, pointing at an empty section Muriel was sure hadn’t been there before. Muriel frowned, but picked up a pen and carefully wrote, ‘ Destroyed in fight with demon .’

There. Muriel saw no need to specify whose side the demon had been fighting on.

The angel read the writing and their eyebrows shot up almost to their hairline. 

“Very well. Just a moment,” they said, then gestured in a complicated fashion, creating a chair from miracled parts. It was assembled mercifully quickly, and Muriel lifted Saraqael into it, gently smoothing and lifting their wings to rest over the armrests. Saraqael still seemed insensible. They were collapsed into the chair like a ragdoll, loose-limbed and unseeing. Muriel thanked the angel for their help and privately thanked them a second time for their disturbing lack of curiosity. 

Without Saraqael alert enough to set it in motion, the chair simply hovered, directionless. Muriel placed a hand on the backrest and pushed the chair along. It was slow progress; the chair seemed to resent being guided by anyone other than its occupant, and Muriel met with resistance every step of the way. 

Eventually, at long last, they reached the streets of Soho. A minor miracle ensured no mortals would notice anything odd about Muriel and the winged angel being pushed along in a recalcitrant hovering chair.

The sun was coming up over the cobblestones. Muriel tilted their face to the sky and closed their eyes for a moment. Usually they found this very comforting, this drowsy golden haze before the city started to wake in earnest. But it was hard to find comfort with Saraqael harmed, and Crowley and Aziraphale- 

Muriel was so afraid for them. Even in the calmness of the dawn, everything felt precarious and frightening and tilted and wrong. 

Muriel crossed to the bookshop, opened the door, jammed their foot in the frame and pushed Saraqael’s chair over the threshold before stepping inside and letting the door swing shut behind them. Being back in this warm, comfy place after the horror of Heaven felt like breathing in lungfuls of air after too much time underwater. Muriel felt dizzy with it.

They looked up to see Aziraphale, and felt an injection of pure undiluted relief straight to the heart. Every bone in their body seemed to soften and warm at the sight of his face. Although there was something there, a tightness around the mouth, a tension... Upset? Guilt? 

Surely not - Muriel’s heart plummeted into the pit of their stomach. 

“Crowley?” It escaped their mouth as a hopeless, hoarse croak.

A voice from somewhere near Aziraphale, then. 

“That you, Muriel?”

Crowley! Muriel beamed and whatever momentary emotion had been on Aziraphale’s face instantly disappeared, displaced by a warm smile.

Strange.

They pushed it aside. “Saraqael’s still not alright,” Muriel said, gesturing to the angel, still slumped in their chair. Aziraphale came rushing forward then, hands outstretched to flutter about Saraqael’s face. 

“Oh! Saraqael? Saraqael!” Aziraphale turned the angel’s head from side to side. “They’re in shock, I think. Crowley-”

“Yeah, there’s one here.”

Aziraphale turned to Muriel. “Could you please get the blanket from Crowley? He’s over by the desk.”

Muriel nodded and scurried over to find Crowley sprawled on the sofa, a tartan blanket folded in his lap. He was looking up at them now, head cocked, one side of his mouth kicked up at the corner. “Morning, inspector constable.”

Muriel wondered if giving Crowley a hug would be immensely inappropriate. 

He held out the blanket. “Important for people in shock to keep warm.” Muriel took it from him. “You survived,” they said.

“Apparently so,” said Crowley. 

Muriel delivered the blanket to Aziraphale, who lay the blanket over Saraqael and tucked it in around them. He gently grazed a melted feather. “I might have some salve upstairs…” He disappeared up the spiral staircase. Muriel pushed Saraqael further into the shop. They didn’t particularly think standing just inside the door was a great idea, even with cloaking miracles.

“How did you get away?” Muriel asked, once they’d settled themselves into the chair opposite Crowley.

“Aziraphale beat The Metatron.” 

“Aziraphale did?”

Crowley tilted his head at the implication. “I had absolutely nothing to do with it; he’s…” Crowley trailed off as if trying to find the right word before throwing his hands up in frustration. “Idiot made me think he’d been disemboweled!”

“Oh?”

“Made The Metatron think it too, really caught him unawares.”

Aziraphale came clattering down the stairs and joined them in the back. “Got it! Oh, those poor wings…!” He opened the tin he was carrying and started to apply salve to the burnt sections of Saraqael’s wings.

Crowley leaned over to squint into Saraqael’s vacant eyes. “Think they’re still in there?”

Aziraphale batted him on the shoulder. “Yes. Of course they are! They just need time.”

“Right,” said Crowley, sounding dubious. “How much time, approximately?”

“It’s not an exact science-” Aziraphale was frowning now.

“Okay, just- Ngk. Last time an archangel spent time recuperating in this bookshop I ended up as smiting practice.” He stared hard at Aziraphale. “I’d really rather not repeat that.”

Aziraphale’s frown dissolved, replaced by guilt and something else, something pained. He set the tin of salve down. “I’m sorry-”

“Not your fault,” grumbled Crowley.

“It was though,” Aziraphale sounded so miserable, so wrapped in guilt. 

Crowley dismissed it with a wave of his hand, “Nah.” 

“I shouldn’t have gone with The Metatron in the first place, you tried to tell me-”

Muriel felt like they were intruding, but they thought moving away might attract attention so they stood there, still and silent.

“Stop it, Aziraphale. If I ever thought I needed an apology, believe me when I say you’ve more than made up for it by dispatching that absolute prat.”

“Mmm.” Aziraphale had turned alarmingly pink. There was a brief moment of silence, and then he twisted his wrist and flicked out a hand. “You were right.”

Crowley, apparently forgetting his injuries, lunged forward. “Stop.”

Muriel really wasn’t sure what was happening, but Crowley looked like he was being strangled by utter mortification and that was good enough for them.

Aziraphale held both arms out from his body and lifted one foot. “You were right.”

“Aziraphale -”

He spun in a tight circle, saying, “I was wrong…”

Crowley flung himself back and turned his head to the ceiling, a pained expression on his face. “I’m not watching this. I refuse.”

“You were right,” concluded Aziraphale with a low, sweeping bow.

Crowley hissed.

Muriel clapped. 

The glare Crowley sent their way carried a threat of violence, and Muriel’s clapping faltered, then stopped altogether.

Aziraphale, still low to the ground with his arms out behind him, was looking up at Crowley through his eyelashes. He didn’t move. He looked as if he were waiting for something. 

Muriel thought it looked like a very uncomfortable position to hold for any length of time.

Crowley appeared to be looking out the window.

Aziraphale sighed. “Crowley…?” 

His voice was part plea, part warning. Muriel smiled at the double feeling.

Crowley finally turned his head to meet Aziraphale’s gaze.

“That is private! ” He snapped, distressed.

“Crowley!” Aziraphale sounded quite annoyed now, and Crowley seemed to melt against the leather cushions at his back. 

“Yes, yesss, fine yes. Apology accepted, please stand up, and Muriel, if you breathe a word of this to anybody I’ll have to dangle you out of the upstairs window by your ankles.” The words rushed out of him through gritted teeth, carried on a single breath.

Aziraphale finally stood and straightened his waistcoat, fond eyes trained on Crowley’s expression of acute embarrassment.

Muriel perched on the arm of the sofa and debated whether or not to ask if this meant they were friends again?

They opened their mouth, but Saraqael suddenly made a noise of choked incredulity.

In a hoarse, disbelieving voice that spoke with the slowness of tectonic plates they said, "What was that?"

[waltwhitmansbeard]

CR!Vaxleth + 27

27. kissing to make them stop talking she wasn't actually this drunk in ank'harel but a girl can dream

Keyleth is drunk. Vax is fairly sure that she's only two drinks in, but then she's always been a lightweight, and these Marquesian cocktails are strong. If it weren't for his arm around her shoulder as they make their way back from the Luck's Run, she'd be weaving a cat's path through the streets of Ank'harel, aimless and stumbling. As it is, he has to hustle her along to keep them both from falling behind the rest of the party.

"I...I jus' think it was rude!" she slurs, her novelty cup of something colorful and fruity waving around wildly with each word. "Oh, so—so—so I can't talk to lizards now? Hmm? Can't just ask a lizard a question? This is..." She takes a long pull from the cup. "This is...profiling."

In the myriad lights of nighttime Ank'harel, her skin is flushed, and he can only hope that she sobers up before someone identifies her as an easy target for some scheme or another. "You were trying to cheat, Kiki."

"But they didn't know that!" she retorts. Some of her drink sloshes down one hand. "They ass—hic!—assumed! Is 'cause I'm..." She flaps a hand toward her own face. "I'm..."

"White?" Vax guesses.

"Druid!"

"Ah." He presses a kiss to her cheek. "Well, it still seems like you had fun. Look, you got a fancy cup out of the deal, and it looks like Scanlan got a bunch of drugs for us to try."

All at once, her indignation gives way to a trembling lip and shiny eyes. "I'm sorry I got kicked out of the casino," she mumbles, leaning so hard into his side she nearly topples him over.

He chuckles. "Oh, Kiki, no, it's fine." She shakes her head and buries her face into his shoulder. "Seriously, I'm sorry you didn't get to play more."

"No, we never get to go out and we never get to have fun and you were looking forward to it and I...I immediately got thrown out, like immediately, and I mean I could've gotten arrested—again—and then what would the night have been, all because I wanted to talk to a fuckin' lizard—"

Her rambling is cut off when he presses his lips to hers. It seems to serve as the distraction he was hoping for, because she sighs happily and leans into the kiss. He uses her preoccupation to carefully ease the half-empty cup of alcohol from her hands. She breaks away from the kiss with a pout. "Hey, I was drinking that."

"You were spiraling." He downs the remainder of the drink and loops the handle of the cup onto his belt. "C'mon. We'll get you to the inn, get you some water, and you'll feel better in a bit."

"Mmkay." She leans her head onto his shoulder and lets him usher her through the bustling nightlife of Ank'harel, and he knows he's won a prize far greater than anything the Luck's Run could ever hope to offer.

[ohsweetflips]

Nielan just hits that sweet spot of pairings between similar people with wildly different outlooks. Like two boys being thrust into leadership at too young an age because of their fathers, bonding over their little brothers who they adore but are very frustrating and hard to understand. Even the shared way they come to care about JGY! But they way they react is so different but complimentary. I want to know about their schooling days together and how they became friends!

NO LITERALLY it’s the unlikely friends to lovers of it all and the tragedy that they complement each other so well Until They Don’t :’) and yeah like u couldn’t pry young nielan from my cold dead hands like i do back and forth bc i like the idea of them knowing each other Young but also the idea of them knowing each other during their own cloud recesses lecture days makes me so :’) i get very emo abt lan xichen knowing nie mingjue before his dad died and then seeing The Fallout of that and. and young lan xichen (lan huan, even) being such a Staunch Rule Follower that, while nie mingjue is not necessarily a rule breaker, lan xichen still Loosens Up around him and they probably have their own cr lectures mischief bc again while i don’t think nmj is that rule-breaker, i think even he would brush up against the cr rules (esp with the fact that such a huge part of his personality is “if i do not agree i am going to say something”) especially bc like. time to insert a fic i have never written but just exists in my brain but like. i just get a feeling that lxc probably didn’t have A Lot of friends growing up bc of the. everything. abt his childhood and also he really gives the vibes of like. one of those kids who was so anxious and mature at such a young age that he was basically a mini adult. and i just feel like given what we’ve seen with characters who are gentry but still have Complicated Parent Situations (jin ling, jiang cheng, that type of stuff), i feel like as the oldest son lan xichen would get the brunt of that, and i feel like nie mingjue (while i have tried to sit and think abt what he would think of the mama lan/qingheng jun situation, whether he knows everything or just a little, and have come up empty) would not tolerate that. yes a scene of them as older kids/young teens lives in my brain of nie mingjue sticking up for lan xichen.

anyways. i like nielan just a little bit <3

[starcchild]

@tarnishedxknight - continued from here

There were times Carter could still hardly believe how much her life had changed for the better because of both Ashelia and Basch. Never in her wildest dreams had she imagined how dear they would be to her when they first arrived. Displaced from their home with both time and place. She hadn't expected how hard she would have fallen for Ashelia while befriending her, and... nor had she expected the same to happen with Basch, as she and Ashelia did their best to help him adjust.

And yet, there she was, sitting next to Ashelia while Basch lay across their legs - her hand resting on his as her cheek rested against Ashelia's head. Her heart filled with warmth and love, something she never thought could happen to her, and she felt... safe. Being with them... meant more to her than they possibly knew, and Carter could weep out of sheer happiness alone. Never did she think she could be loved or wanted by anyone, let alone by two people who meant more to her than most. She had been ready to accept that there was... simply something wrong with her, and that it would keep her from the love, happiness, and security she desperately craved, when Ashelia had come into her life. Something she had thought possible again, when she found herself falling for Basch the same way she had with their girlfriend. And, now...

She watched as Ashelia tickled Basch's nose with the ends of his hair - watched as he grinned and listened as she giggled - and felt her throat tighten. Her eyes turning glassy despite her adoring grin, and felt herself get choked up with just how much they meant to her. How much they had changed her life for the better. Did they know that? Did they understand just what they had done for her heart?

Her words fell out before she could stop them, though she didn't mind. And their reactions... god, Carter almost cried. Her smile only widened as Ashelia spoke, and leaned closer so she could kiss her cheek. Her heart fluttering wildly in her chest as Basch kissed the back of her hand. Their affection for her almost overwhelming.

With a choked giggle of her own, Carter shook her head and leaned her cheek against Ashelia's head. She wrapped her free arm around her, and squeezed Basch's hand tight - holding onto it as she gently rubbed her thumb against his skin. "Sorry," she said with another choked giggle as she blinked back tears. Her smile never wavering as she held them both. "I- I didn't mean to- to make you both cr-cry. I- I just..." She swallowed thickly, and huffed in amusement as she did her best to fight back fresh tears. "You've- you've both done so mu-much for me. You've- you've made my- my life so much bri-brighter, and I- I can't thank you- you enough for- for it."

[proxylynn]

My take on D&D's Behir.

"An excerpt from the tome Creatures of the Wilderlands, by the sage and explorer Radamust: One of the most malevolent creatures I have ever encountered is the Behir. Having nearly fallen victim to its depredations on two separate occasions, I have endeavored to learn more about this wild and curious beast, which is occasionally mistaken for a wingless dragon by the uneducated. A Behir is unmistakable to the learned, once you have seen it.

It is a twelve-legged serpent, with each foot bearing three toes that end in razor-sharp talons. These talons are hooked like a raptor's but are designed for slashing, not grasping, prey. The body is covered in bandlike scales from light to dark blue in color with grayish tints along the edges. The underside is also light blue and composed of a vertical row of banded scales. The upper scales are very hard and tough and, if treated correctly, can be made into serviceable armor.

The head is long, and the narrow mouth is filled with many sharp teeth. Two backward-curving horns project from the rear of the skull, each black in color and 3-4' in length. Upon beginning my investigation, I discovered there was more than one species, each with its own special abilities and wildly divergent habitats."

[I've always had a fondness for the monsters of DnD, got a 2nd edition monster manual from a friend as a kid and I would read it for hours. (still own it) But after nabbing a copy of the 5th edition of the monster manual and looking it up online, my favorite beast is one of the most confusing and broken in terms of lore/design.]

Meet...The Behir...as represented in each edition.

[As you can see, it's quite the difference and doesn't match up with descriptions. But this isn't so bad, creatures go through redesigns and often art in the manuals doesn't line up with descriptions. This is common. So...What's the new description sound like?]

"A Behir was often mistaken for a wingless blue dragon. It had a long, snake-like body and could slither on the ground like a snake, but it also had six pairs of legs upon which it could walk or climb if it chose to do so. Each of a Behir's twelve feet contained three clawed toes. They began life with six or eight legs and grew additional legs as they aged. They grew about 8 feet (2.4 meters) per year.

Behirs had thick, armored scales, much like a dragon. Their scales were colored in variations of dark blue, being lighter on their undersides.

They had long narrow heads, crocodilian in shape, with curved, black horns on the top, which were used for preening. Behirs were born horn-less. Their mouths were full of many sharp multi-colored translucent teeth that were valued for their gem-like beauty, and their bones were crystalline."

[Okay...But this isn't what's shown either. If anything, this matches the older art and not the new sleek noodle boy. Don't get me wrong, I like the design, I adore snakes. But Behirs are not snakes. If anything, they are slightly draconian as they were made to kill dragons and speak Draconic naturally. Speaking of which, this brings up the next confusing part...The lore.]

"In times long forgotten, giants and dragons engaged in seemingly endless war. Storm giants created the first Behirs as weapons against the dragons, and Behirs retain a natural hatred for dragonkind. A Behir never makes its lair in an area it knows to be inhabited by a dragon. If a dragon attempts to establish a lair within a few dozen miles of a behir's lair, the Behir is compelled to kill the dragon or drive it off. Only if the dragon proves too powerful to fight does a Behir back down, seeking out a new lair site a great distance away."

[This sounds really awesome on paper, right? Yet...A massive flaw appears when you compare a Behir to a Dragon. Let's say that an adult behir is fighting a young red dragon. Both are roughly the same CR, with the behir at 11 and the young red dragon at 10.

Already, the young red dragon has some noticeable advantages. Its armor class is higher, it has marginally higher hit points, and it can fly 80 ft. per turn. The behir and young red dragon have the same Strength, but the behir is much faster than the dragon, Dex and land-speed-wise. Still, the dragon has a much higher Constitution.

But where the dragon really wins is its superior Intelligence. Sure, the behir has better self-preservation instincts with its higher Wisdom, so it knows when to run. But if the dragon has already out-thunk the beast, chances are the behir won’t even be able to escape. Keep in mind, this is just the young red dragon. Adult dragons and ancient dragons could easily avoid getting killed by behirs.

Another issue is size. Behir's stand at 5ft on all their legs and 20ft when they rear back on their hindmost eight legs, 4,000 pounds, and reach 40-60ft in length. They have the classification of Huge and can swallow creatures smaller than they, particularly medium and larger mammals such as boars, though they will also attack humans, ogres, and elves.]

[Now let's look at the common Behir's natural comparison, a Blue Dragon. (I say common Behir because lightning blue is the basic one but there are 2 rare variants that are only mentioned once...desert behir and jungle behir...if also compared to dragons I'd guess a fire red and poison green)]

Wyrmling- Medium Young - Large Adult - Huge Ancient - Gargantuan Greatwyrm - Gargantuan

Up to 85 feet long and 160,000 pounds; wingspan up to 80 feet

[No way a Behir is taking a Dragon down. So...What's the deal? How are Behir made to combat Dragons and still attack dragons now if they aren't suitable for it? This is where there are two theories that would help the lore a bit if Dungeon Masters want to use Behirs.

Theory 1: Current Behir are not the true Behir as made by the giants and have evolved to live in a world after the great war. The idea is that Behirs used to be a lot bigger, tougher, and smarter than they are now. Once the dragons were mostly depleted, they had to adapt to a world with fewer natural enemies. More than likely, the biggest of the Behirs were killed off quick, seeing as they were just as dangerous as the dragons. Those that did survive were those that were better at hiding and capable of finding other food sources. Years went by and they shrank down from their Gargantuan size of yore to their modern Huge size. Additionally, they lost a lot of their mental edge, trading strategic smarts for survival instincts.

Theory 2: They were never meant to fight adults and were made to lower the number of dragons by going after the babies. Behirs weren’t designed to fight the big guys; they were baby eaters. The behir’s swallow attack works only against Medium or Smaller targets. Any dragon over the age of five years is going to be Large or bigger. However, the wyrmlings and eggs are perfectly sized for the behir’s dislocated jaw. Behirs were trained to go into dragon lairs, slink through the stones, and eat the babies and unhatched eggs. This kept the dragon population in check. And if mom or dad caught them doing this, the behir used its lightning breath to scare them off and flee with its awesome speed and climbing ability. Being a neutral evil monstrosity, it’s not too hard to imagine this being the case.]

[So with all these broken conflicting points, can Behirs work? Yes, I think so. But things have to be cleared and some parts retooled once key parts are made official. Behirs have been around since the beginning and are of the first dragon-slaying monsters. There should be consistency given. The old lore on how they function as creatures is so damn interesting, it's a shame you'd have to dig super hard in old magazines to find it...Which I did because I am the lore queen and can be insane about it when I hyperfixate on something I love.]

[And like that, we reach the part where I get to be a big old nerd (more so than I have been so far) and bust out my take on a common lightning Behir.]

[I tried to incorporate aspects of the lore and art. Gave it a dragon/crocodile-style head, two black horns, banded belly scales, thick armored back scales, long slashing talons that can also grip, multi-colored translucent teeth (might need to zoom in for that), and I liked this idea of the tongue glowing slightly as a lure for prey while in caves (for quick snacks) but it gets brighter when firing a blast attack.

Aside from looks, I also want to mix that lore into the Behir Statistics. This is the current stats for Behir for DMs to use in games.]

[And this is more in line with what I'd use for a lore-based Behir sheet. This is based on a D&D Monster Analysis by The Bountiful Mimic, he does amazing content.]

[I'd also add a conflict resolution move if a party encounters a Behir but isn't able to battle it, so to avoid needless character slaughter from this new powerful beast, let's look at the lore again.]

"Behirs possess the capability to negotiate but only do so if they believe that for some reason they cannot take what they desire. Those who must frequently travel through a Behir's territory find that offering large amounts of food (such as a cow or a horse) along with a healthy amount of self-deprecating flattery is a good way to keep a Behir from attacking. Additionally, perhaps owing to some draconic ancestry, Behirs have a fondness for treasure, coveting silver to the exclusion of all other offerings."

[So this means if your stats are high and you have a nice chunk of silver or maybe a mount or two you don't mind losing, you could save you/your party's ass from a potential game-ender. I'm thinking to pull this off you'd need to have the Intelligence of 10 and Charisma of 16, you need to put in the work to barter with this bad boy or you risk being in the belly. I'm also not sure if a Bard could seduce a Behir but, you know, Bards are gonna Bard and a Behir is able to be charmed into being a companion (The Lamia noble Transtra kept a Behir named Uliss as a companion, although she had to charm it to do so) but that has to be done constantly or you risk it turning on you.

All in all, this was a nice but way too long deep dive into a not-often-used monster that could use some love...and maybe some tender work on its history. As of late the newest use of Behirs in pop culture is Balder's Gate 3, the beast itself doesn't show up which is sad but you can get a Behir Blue Dice skin and Behir Scales. Behir Scales is an Alchemical Ingredient. Three are needed to extract Sublimate of Behir Scales, which is used to make Flashblinder. Thank you for your time in reading this. This was fun. ^_^]

[eldritchmochi]

Letter ask: the word PHANTOM

jesus christ mina youre going to kill me lmao

P - Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas).

HMMM i have a couple weird ones, because im me, but i think the weirdest would be the one where i just slap ashton into the whole situation i have going on with my job where they get hired to be reception (somehow??? he's baffled too honestly) and then ends up taking over bookkeeping because he has some level of prior experience due to all the temping hes done while trying to get out of manual labor work to save their increasingly fucked up body at least a little, and then revolves around him navigating getting his health under control and the fact that hes like... financially stable and almost well off???? for the first time in their entire life, with added bonus of the IT guy they deal with most for getting all the stuff set up to do bookkeeping is fucking cute as hell and they keep running into each other at the gym and then maybe something about taking care of both fcg and milo (even tho milo hates it) because finally ashton has money to meaningfully contribute to the well being of his friends. i will eventually write it because i think it'd be fun to put ashton into Situations in an entirely benign office setting when he's defintely not the sort youd think to be there, especially not in some sort of management situation, i just haven't figured out the rest of the cast lmao

H - What is your favorite source text for fandom stuff (e.g., TV shows, movies, books, anime, Western animation, etc.)?

broadly, it really depends. i am all over the map with where inspo comes from and just because i find inspo in one particular piece of media does not mean i'll latch onto something in the same vein even if you'd expect me to. even beyond format or indie vs mainstream, i'm wildly unpredictable when it comes to things like how fleshed out the characters i claim as mine are in source material and like even the kind of characters i find inspo in a lot of the time. like, ive written (but not finished) fic for crime procedurals so like...... my mileage certainly varies lmao

probably the trends are like: indie media or cult classics, things with found family, and things with characters who either have a solid base of unique traits to extrapoliate into a good personality or characters that are very well fleshed out and very unique

A N T answered here!!

O answered here!! but i'll answer it again because its fun lmao

O - Choose a song at random. Which ship or character does it remind you of?

this one is very much on repeat when i work on the 30k+ ashrym character exploration pwp i have been writing off and on for like 10 months lmao

M - Name a character that you’d like to have for a friend.

okay so like, cherry was absolutely BAFFLED by my fmk answer for cr between my Big Three blorbos here because its absolutely fuck caleb, marry ashton, kill essek

BUT HEAR ME OUT so like ashton right?? we're both abrasive assholes who have a lot of things in common (brawling, punk diy, not touching people) so you'd think we'd butt heads a lot but i can absolutely see them being the sort to plainly state if i'm being annoying and how, and i also see him being the sort to respond well to the same. i think we'd vibe well because we just kinda get a lot of the bullshit we each go through and also have a similar enough way of communicating frustrations that there wouldn't really be hard feelings from frustrations. 10/10 good buddy, roommate, or husband material in my books

essek is the exact opposite. i would punch that wizard in the face like IMMEDIATELY lmao

caleb physically is aggressively my type (which is why i write so much porn from essek's pov lmao) but he would frustrate the hell out of me irl with the way he manages his trauma so id divorce him in like a year BUT the dick would be bomb so fwb but more benefits and less friends because i do not want to be someone's therapist i have been there

anyway.

there are several other letters in this ask game u can ask me bles it is very fun

[flightfoot]

Swallowing Rings Is Bad For Your Health

So I read part 34 of @buggachat Bakery Enemies AU and was inspired! Thanks to @khanofallorcs for betaing!

AO3

Marinette thoughtfully chewed on her croissant. Maybe Adrien wasn’t so bad? And he’d looked so eager to have her try his baking, like a puppy that’d just been told he was a “good boy!”

Or a Chat who’d just gotten a compliment from His Lady…

She shook her head violently. NO NO NO BAD MARINETTE DO NOT THINK ABOUT THAT. What was up with her subconscious connecting Chat with Adrien lately?! NO, subconscious, she did NOT have a crush on Adrien, STOP CONNECTING HIM WITH THE BOY SHE LOVED.

“Are you looking for something?” her dad said, somewhere behind her.

“I- I can’t find my-”

Marinette bit into something hard.

“GAAAAH!”

She whipped around, holding the hard, round thing between her teeth.

“MY RING!” Adrien screamed, tearing out his hair, looking at her wildly.

As she made to spit the ring out, it slipped sideways. 

Between her teeth.

And near the back of her throat.

Reflexively, she swallowed.

They both froze, staring at each other in abject horror.

“NOOOOOOOOO!” A guttural scream ripped from Adrien’s throat.

He seized Marinette’s shoulders “I NEED HI- IT BACK! I HAVE TO GET THAT RING BACK OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT!”

“IS THE RING SAFE AM I GONNA DIE OH GOD IT’S TOXIC ISN’T IT I’M GONNA DIE!” Marinette screamed back, hyperventilating nearly as badly as he was.

“Okay, okay, calm down,” Tom said, putting up his hands. “Look, swallowing metal isn’t good, but this isn’t time to panic. Your mother swallowed the first engagement ring I tried to give her when I hid it in the bread I baked for her and she’s still alive. It should pass in a few days-”

Mom had? Okay, so maybe things would be ok-

“I CAN’T LOSE THAT RING!” Adrien screamed, not having calmed in the slightest. “SHIT SHIT FUCK WHAT IF IT’S TOO LATE WHAT IF IT’S DESTROYED WHAT IF I KILLED HI- IT! KILLED IT!”

Tom gently put an arm around Adrien, rubbing his back. “It’ll be okay, son. Things’ll work out. Let’s just sit down for a bit and rest…”

He led Adrien away towards the living room, Adrien staring straight ahead, clinging to her father for all he was worth.

--------

A ring slowly began glowing, pulsing with light, getting brighter and brighter.

Until…

*FWOOSH*

A small black cat spiralled out.

And promptly hit a wall.

Green slitted eyes blinked. “Eugh, where’d that kid put me?” Plagg grumbled, reaching out a paw to feel the obstruction.

It was weirdly soft, stretchy, and damp. Though at least not as wet as the “floor” of wherever Plagg was - his tail would’ve been soaked if he hadn’t kept it insubstantial.

No light, either. Even with his night vision, he couldn’t see a thing.

With a jolt, the surroundings moved, taking Plagg with them. Weird shrieking noises emanated from nearby, though he couldn’t tell from where exactly - it felt like everything around him was vibrating.

Nope, not staying here. What was Adrien thinking, leaving the ring in this weird place?

Plagg turned insubstantial, phasing out of the weird container just enough to take a peek at his location-

“DIE CHESTBURSTER DIE!” 

“AUGH!”

-and found himself unceremoniously whacked into a wall (a non-moist one this time) by a rolling pin.

Plagg blinked up from the ground.

An irate Marinette Dupain-Cheng stood over him, holding a rolling pin aloft. Slowly, her expression softened, turning from ‘I’m going to murder you where you sit’ to ‘Oh crap, what’ve I done’.

“Plagg?” She called out hoarsely, as if afraid that saying his name would make him disappear. “How- What- I’m so so so sorry I didn’t mean to hurt you oh crap what if he’s dead oh cr-”

“Camembert…” he groaned.

Marinette abruptly stopped panicking. “What?” 

“Camembert… will heal… all my injuries… I’ll die without it… I need three wheels of cheese…”

“Yeah, you’re fine,” Marinette concluded.

Plagg shrugged. “Worth a shot.”

“What were you thinking?!” Marinette said. “Poking around like that and then sticking your head out through my torso - I almost had a heart attack!”

She froze. “Wait… how’re you here? Where’s Chat Noir?!”

“You tell me, you’re the one with my ring inside you.”

The blood drained from her face. Fumbling around, she shakily made her way to the nearest chair, collapsing in a heap. “Your ring. I have your ring. Inside me.”

Plagg tilted his head to the side. “Yessss…?”

“I swallowed Adrien’s ring,” she said dazedly, staring straight ahead. 

“You know, I don’t care if you play tonsil hockey with my kid, but could you not use my Miraculous as the puck?” he said conversationally. “I don’t enjoy ending up inside of creatures as much as you do.”

Marinette’s eyes bulged, “I- WHAT- I DO NOT!”

“You end up leaping into mouths a lot…”

“AS PART OF MY PLAN TO DEFEAT THE SUPERVILLAIN!”

“But you’re always smiling-”

“SHUT UP.”

--------

Adrien trudged to work. 

What else could he do?

Keeping away wouldn’t bring Plagg back.

“Stupid, stupid, stupid, how could I be so careless,” he muttered to himself, throwing open the bakery door. It slammed into the wall. He couldn’t bring himself to care.

Marinette greeted him, looking unusually upbeat. Adrien’s spirits lifted a little, despite himself.

“Morning, kitty,” she said, sauntering over to him. He blinked, his brain trying to process what that meant, as she dropped his ring into his hands. “We have a lot to talk about.”

His mind spinning, coming to conclusions that he couldn’t comprehend just yet, he latched onto anything that didn’t disrupt his world, anything solid, as he gazed down at his Miraculous.

“It looks pristine! How did you-”

“THAT IS NOT ONE OF THE THINGS WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT.”

[ariadne-mouse]

This week's WIP Wednesday noodling was of a linguistic nature. Namely, how fast would Common emerge and evolve in Exandria, and at what point in the past would it be difficult or impossible to understand compared to the Common of "present day"? I am curious. For reasons. Fic reasons.

I'm well aware there's not really a correct answer to this, since Exandria is at its heart a setting for an improv storytelling game and not a real place with recorded history or observable language changes over time. But I enjoy these kinds of questions, so here goes!

We have some CR canon examples of people from long ago talking to the campaign protagonists and being intelligible, such as Halas in C2, but due to a magical artifact being the conduit one could hand wave away any language barriers with "it's magic". There are lots of examples of writing from the far past being incomprehensible (see: everything in Aeor) but that wasn't established to be Archaic Common or similar, so it could have been another language entirely, or even something as mundane as spelling/orthographic changes being the problem. We do know that the floating city of Zemniaz is where Zemnian comes from, so Aeor may have had its own language or dialect too rather than using Common.

So, what else to consider that might influence Common? Language changes because of all kinds of reasons.

Migration and movement of peoples that results in mixing of language features, accents, swapping of loan words, and other influences. Common seems to be a fairly ubiquitous lingua franca all across Exandria where it isn't a vernacular (first language - possibly to humans more often than other races), so it's hard to say where the most prominent and lasting change would be driven from. We also hear different Common accents that seem determined by the speakers' first language or their region (see: Kryn speakers of Common like Essek influenced by their native Undercommon, or the accent distinctive to the Menagerie Coast)

New or lost technologies, social constructs, and other major societal changes, since language evolves with the needs of its users describing their world. Were any language aspects lost when the Age of Arcanum fell? Was anything new born from the ashes? What are Exandrians describing today that they weren't a thousand years ago, and vice versa?

Major conflicts that destroy populations and culture (the Calamity, but also the Marrow War and any wars since), shifts of power, class differences, structures of power enforcing or "legitimizing" certain uses and features of language (that's in air quotes for a reason, I am and will always be a descriptivist). Basically - who are/were the dictatorial prescriptivists of Exandria regarding Common? Not sure. Possibly the Julous Dominion in PD, which was founded by humans and halflings.

Generational turnover: this is pure speculation for DnD-verse, extrapolating from the real-world tendency for older folks to be more linguistically conservative, while the youngins are more likely to drive innovation and adopt change more easily. DnD races have wildly different lifespans, so the age composition of any society might be allll over the place. Longer lived races like elves, firbolgs, dragons, etc, with lifespans in the hundreds, might have a slowing effect on the evolution of language and Common in particular since they may perpetuate what they've learned for a longer amount of time. Shorter-lived races may innovate or change faster as elders are not around as long to influence younger people, and there are more children coming into the world more often. The only conclusion I can draw from this regarding Common is "it's complicated".

A rambling set of musings to say - did the wizards in the Age of Arcanum speak Common at all? If we were to pluck one of these wizards from the past and bring them into the "present day" of Exandria, would their use of Common be mutually intelligible with present day Common-speakers? Or would it be like a modern English speaker trying to understand Old or Middle English?

Ultimately I'll have to just make a decision for the WIP that works best for the story and stick with it, but it's been fun to ponder.

[sparring-spirals]

How do you think campaign one would’ve gone if Dorian was the 8th PC member of Vox Machina instead of a certain sorcerer I shall not name? In this potential AU Dorian would be sticking around past the Kraghammer Arc obviously.

Unfortunately I don’t think I can give an in depth answer to this question for two reasons:

1- I have not actually watched C1. 😅 I have absorbed things through dashboard osmosis, Kith and Kin, and now, TLOVM. But have not formally watched the campaign.

2- As someone who likes approaching narratives from a character-first perspective I don’t usually dive too deep into possible AU’s that come from replacing characters with each other? Esp with something like CR that is deeply, deeply character based, I assume C1 would have looked fundamentally different with a different (permanent) character added into the mix, in the same way that C2 missing any of the M9 characters would most likely be a different story entirely. I think even if I knew VM better- IMO, adding a character, removing a character, replacing, etc, alters the underpinnings of the story, and I honestly am not sure I have any idea what the new outcome would look like. 🤔

As a compromise, some guesses on specific character interactions I could indulgently imagine happening (please remember point 1 above) (this is all just fun speculation, wildly indulgent, etc).

- I think Dorian might get drowned out a little easily in the beginning- he tries very hard to be pleasant and polite and easygoing, and I feel like it might work against him in early-ish C1, at least with what I know of VM.

- Dorian and Keyleth would probably get along REALLY well!! Thinking about this makes me quite happy,  actually: so much to discuss around mantles on shoulders, heavy expectations, not quite feeling steady in your own skin and capabilities for one reason or another.

- (possibly Pike and Dorian for similar reasons, although I’m less sure there).

- Vax, Vex, and Scanlan would probably enjoy flirting with him to see him blush and it would be very funny. Percy would also find it funny but would probably do it a little less often.

- Percy and Dorian either bonding over High Society Bullshit, or one of them being wary of the other person because of their own complex relationships/feelings about it.

[xombigirl]

My Opinion on the CR Safety Tools Video

So someone sent me a DM and asked me why I thought the safety tools video was “not okay” and honestly it’s too much for one DM so I guess I’m going public with this.

Let me start by saying that I get wanting to feel closer to the cast. I understand that and I’ve been guilty of it myself in the past. Not terribly long ago(barely six months)I realized that I was teetering on the edge of a very unhealthy obsession. I had notifs on for the entire cast and I would agonize over replies, hoping it would be something clever enough to get me noticed. And it was taking a toll on my already fragile mental health. So I took a step back, I turned off all my notifications on Twitter, stopped trying to interact with them on social media and realized I was better off mentally.

About a month ago a thread started making the rounds on Twitter that was a “deep dive” into the cast’s mental health. I read through it and couldn’t quite figure out why it just made me so wildly uncomfortable. I talked it out with a few friends and realized that part of why it made me so uncomfortable was the wild assumptions this person was making about people they don’t personally know. They claimed Liam was having a panic attack in c2 ep 123 so I went back and watched and no? No, I think Caleb was having a panic attack and that the stress of the situation(which is no worse than other situations they’ve come across in this campaign and the last)was probably getting to Liam. Sure. I can get behind that.

But saying “I also think Matt pushed them too hard with the end of the world possibility (which he's realized and is trying to pull everything back a bit on). Mostly because they've been living through a kind of mass-death apocalypse made much worse by inaction” feels like such a fucking reach to me. It feels like someone who is projecting their own problems onto the cast without any regard for the cast themselves.

Anyway, that thread is part of why this new video makes me super uncomfortable. The person starts off by saying that they’ve been GM’ing “for a while now” and I would like to point out that not all GMs/DMs are created equal. What works at one table might not work at another. I do know they also said that their video is not a “How to” but it feels like they want it to be.

Please do not assume that I am against Safety Tools in TTRPGs. That is not the point of this post at all. I think they are helpful tools and can keep things running smoothly at a table, no matter if it’s in person or online like my own group. I understand character bleed, I understand that D&D or other roleplaying can be a form of catharsis. And sure, those are good things to understand. Where my problem lies is the way this person used things like the death of Liam’s mom to point out an example of things going wrong.

Again, I do agree that this is an important thing to talk about! But I would suggest this person not use Critical Role as an example. There are many other AP streams out there who are far more upfront about their use of these safety tools and I think they would have been better off using those instead.

As a small example, using Sam’s singing and the cast joining in as an example of trust just...this is Sam Riegel we’re talking about. The man who started his career onstage as a young child. I don’t think it’s an example of trust that the cast joins in. Also, just as an aside, Erika Ishii has never guested on the main campaign. She has only guested in Call of Cthulhu and Monsterhearts.

“How explicit the conversation was beforehand we just don’t know.” Is another example. You’re right, we have zero clue how their discussions before either campaign shook out. AND IT’S NOT OUR PLACE TO SPECULATE OR ASSUME EITHER. I know it might be a tired argument but this is, in fact, their game. Yes they are broadcasting it to a large audience but it started out as their game and it will end up that way too. We can’t put the same expectations on Critical Role as we do other forms of media. Hell, even other AP streams such as Dimension 20 which is all filmed ahead of time and is edited down and gives them ample time to tell the story they want to tell. That’s now how Critical Role works.

All of this is to say that we have no idea what sort of discussions happen off screen or behind closed doors. We don’t know how they decompress after an episode. We don’t know if they filled out questionnaires or if there are certain topics that are off limits. They don’t choose to disclose that information and picking apart interactions between a group of friends who obviously trust each other isn’t the way to find out.

This is just one person’s opinion though. I am but one Critter in a vast sea of other Critters so watch the video for yourself. Make your own decisions. I am just going to opt out of speculation regarding anything about the cast’s personal lives. This includes, sexuality, relationships, any kind of safety tools and their mental health.

[utilitycaster]

SDCC panel good so far, EXTREMELY EXCITED for TLOVM and Mighty Nein, loved Laura's answer about playing Emhira, think Krystina is an incredible host for these and I hope she continues to play that role (also I know she is very cool and very busy but would love to see her back on CR again!) so anyway here's my quick takes on audience questions:

the one about Ashley's character creation process: GREAT question and great answer from Ashley!

Future of Exandria question: ngl it's like, this would be a great question if this weren't actual play, but it is and so it's sort of impossible to really get a meaningful answer.

Revisiting VM/Nein characters: I feel the best way to ask more personal or process questions is like, the Ashley question where it is specific; on some level, any "how does it feel" question is going to get an answer of either "good!" or "bad!". That said the cast did elaborate in some fun ways!

If you were a god and could change someone's fate: see end of this post for a discussion of what makes a good question but basically this is a good question.

Session Zero question: VINDICATION; I have been saying from about the Bassuras arc "hmmm it feels the cast did NOT get the same background as they did for C2."

Not a question but the "Sam's fine, he's not here bc he is on a real vacation" is very funny

Balancing the antagonists and heroes: good question! I do think one of Matt's biggest strengths is that he is very good at having the world continue even when the characters are fucking around so it's great to hear his take on how he manages it.

Daggerheart question: great question, very professionally noncommittal answer from Marisha (this is a compliment, she fields those really gracefully)

Laura and Travis question: as someone who draws perhaps stronger parasocial barriers than many, eh, but also answered very gracefully

Music question: YESSSSSSS excellent question, please do drop your new playlists! I do need to briefly note that hilariously, No Church in the Wild was on a Keyleth playlist.

OK so here is what makes a good convention panel question for Critical Role, imo:

Lore or worldbuilding questions that are not too speculative (ie, for which there does exist an answer; 'what would have happened if things went differently' is really hard to answer other than 'shit would be really different')

Specific process questions, like the one to Ashley, the one about balancing heroes and antagonists or the Session Zero one. Really vague "how does it feel" ones can be good but it really depends on whether a cast member finds something specific to hone in on.

Fun stuff that is not invasively personal (music question, the "if you could change one person's fate as an Exandrian deity what would you do, that one question where someone asked Travis about D&D characters on a football team)

What makes for a bad one:

anything overly long, keep it moving

anything extremely personal, this is weird and someone should have taught you not to do this before you were old enough to attend a convention

anything that boils down to "would my preferred ship or outcome have happened had things been wildly different", this is impossible to answer accurately and more importantly asking creators to validate your headcanons directly is tacky, you should wait for that to be dropped when you were not expecting it or else be like "anyway, this is what I believe" and not give a shit what the creators say

[cranesofibycus]

a collection of CR headcanons

A week ago I asked for 29 Critical Role headcanons for my 29th birthday. I got 33. Thank you all so much for sending them in, they made that day such a good one. I thought I’d share the joy, so here they are! 

Jester

At some point, for funsies, Artagan tied Sprinkle's life force to Jester's, so the weasel has her hitpoints (@iisuikyouii)

Jester's Spiritual Guardians make tiny rainbow poops. (@kaarchin)

Post-campaign, Jester writes her own wildly successful smutty romance novel. (@the-littlest-goblin)

Sprinkle is just the tiniest bit magical. I don’t know how or what kind of magic, but he is. (@the-littlest-goblin)

Jester is much older than we all think. (anonymous)

Beau

Years in the future, teenage TJ runs away from home to visit Beau at the Zadash Cobalt Soul. He ends up going back eventually but they have a very nice bonding weekend where she teaches him how to throw a proper punch and tells him he doesn’t have to take over the family business if he doesn’t want to. (@the-littlest-goblin)

At some point when she’s much older Beau will need reading glasses but she will refuse to wear them, much to Caleb’s annoyance. She will place books on the other side of the table in the library and squint really hard “SEE, I DON’T NEED GLASSES. THIS IS FINE” (anonymous)

Veth

Veth loves being back in her halfling body but sometimes she misses the freedom of being seen as a feral goblin and getting away with all kinds of “nasty” behavior. (anonymous)

Luc has a level in rogue by the time he’s ten. (@the-littlest-goblin)

Veth taught Caleb how to braid her hair so now it has become their morning ritual. (anonymous)

Caleb

Caleb's mom had a difficult pregnancy and birth, which is why he's an only child in a farming community (@iisuikyouii)

Caleb is like 5'4" and the only people in the group shorter than him is Veth and somehow miraculously Jester by like half an inch (@ishti-ishti)

When the blumendrei were at school, whenever Astrid and Caleb went on dates Eodwulf would end up going with them and it was just a thing, because they didn’t realize they were in a polycule. (anonymous)

There is a librarian at the Soltryce Academy who often wonders what happened to the kind, blue-eyed, red-haired boy who ran about the stacks, piled books high on his table like The Candles of the Shimmerward. A stronghold of a mind sat in their shadows, but awe, wonder, and ambition showed on his face. He'd leave, often in the company of 2 of his classmates. That made the librarian happiest. A mind like that belonged in the light. (@swagsolidarity)

Caduceus

Caduceus cooking for people to bring them closer together is something he picked up from his Aunt, and is one of those "third kid" gifts - something for him to stand after Colton and Calliope. (@iisuikyouii)

Caduceus Clay is aro ace!! (anonymous)

Caduceus has secret therapy sessions with Sprinkle. (anonymous)

Fjord

Sabien is Fjord’s former lover and that’s part of the reason he’s desperate to find him. (anonymous)

If Fjord had made it to the Soltryce Academy he would’ve become Trent’s newest pet-experiment, possibly training with Eodwulf (anonymous)

Fjord is not from Wildemount (but he’s not an alien either lol) (anonymous)

Yasha

Yasha actually has a lovely singing voice and a knack for music and her low performance score is because she sings too quietly for anyone to hear and she makes really weird and off-putting faces when she's focusing on an instrument. (anonymous)

Zuala made the first move with Yasha, because Yasha was as horribly awkward with her as she is now with Beau. (@the-littlest-goblin)

Molly

Lucien/Molly has at least some recollection of his time as Molly, and the Tomb Takers have hired the Bad-Luck Bandits to aid them at this time. (@cattatra)

Vox Machina

After c1, Percy and Keyleth get a set of mirrors enchanted so they can have fantasy facetime chats whenever. His hangs above his desk so she can see him and out to the grounds through the window. She takes hers on walks while they chat and shows him the gardens or her sun tree, or sometimes they just kinda virtually hang out while they work. (@a-case-for-wonder)

I can imagine Keyleth and Caduceus hitting it off and becoming nature-loving buddies that meet up for tea (taking my wholesome headcanon and making it kinda sad: they're both much more long-lived than their parties so they can take solace in each other) (@flowersforvex)

Misc

The big bad end boss is Tharizdun; we are SO not done with that guy yet and since two the shackles are in Rexxentrum and Whitestone it actually makes sense that VM might be occupied elsewhere while we see the MN's point of view. (@flowersforvex)

Yussa is a client of Marion's, but he also has agoraphobia so they're erotic pen pals. That bathtub was his gift to her. (@swordshapedleaves)

The gods walk among Exandria. (@alan713ch) 

If Essek ever gets the option to be consecuted he refuses since he never wants to live without the M9 and he knows already he'll be doing that for at least 1000 years and he doesn’t vibe with it. (@adira-trek)

Essek is ace (@the-littlest-goblin)

Reani and Fen do eventually get married.  (@the-littlest-goblin)

The housekeeper that the m9 hired basically moved into the Xhorhaus and has been living it up there rent-free. One time Essek went by and found her chilling on the rooftop garden. (@the-littlest-goblin)

Everyone in the m9 is either autistic or has ADHD or both. (@rwbypro)