#coworker just calls me. no I didn't get my schedule. what do you MEAN he scheduled me to work today

[cidnangarlond]

TOLD MY BOSS I NEEDED TIME OFF BECAUSE I GOT MY FUCKING TEETH PULLED AND HE STILL SCHEDULED ME TO WORK TODAY FUCK YOUR ENTIRE LIFE MAN

[ggidolsmuts]

Our Love Language is Sex - ITZY Ryujin

"Woojin sunbae, I think I like you..."

No Ryujin, what are you doing? You told her to tell him how she felt, not tell him how she felt in front of everyone else! You can't see her expression from behind, but the sunbae's lip lifts to one side in disgust.

"What? Ew, no. Sorry Ryujin." His tone was anything but sorry.

"Damn, I'm jealous bro." One of his mates said.

"Yeah? You can have her then, how about it Ryujin?" The way the love of her young life offers her away so easily shatters her heart, and she sniffles and runs. His words as she leaves rings in her ear, stinging her as she leaves.

"Guess not, sorry bro." You hurry to catch up to her, finding her crying in a classroom. Quietly you slide the door open and close it behind you.

"Ryujin... You okay?"

"Obviously, fucking, not!" She turns to face you, her sadness stained with anger. "It's all your fault!"

"My fault?"

"You said to tell him how I felt!"

"Yeah, but not in front of everyone! Find a private spot or something, like here!"

"You should have said that then!" Ryujin shouts back at you, landing a punch on your chest. "How was I supposed to know?"

"I thought you would have some sense! Fuck you're thick sometimes."

"Fine I'm thick, just go and fuck off then!" Your back hits the wall as she pushes you away. Damn it, you were here to comfort her, not get angry at her!

"Ryujin that's not what I meant."

"I don't care! I don't want to see you!"

"Come on Ryujin." You grab her wrist, and she flings her arm to get you off, catching you in the face.

"Oh shit, I'm— I'm telling you to go away!" she shouts. Her blood runs cold looking at your stunned expression. She should have apologized, why didn't she apologize! "I mean I'm—"

"I get it, I'm sorry I came." You turn around and exit the classroom, slamming the door shut.

-----

You barely speak to Ryujin in school after, and you graduate and move on with your life just like she has. 

Until today.

You knew your company was engaging ITZY as a spokesperson for their products, and you saw their commercials pop up in your office sometimes, but you never expected to see them in your office.

"All in us, we are ITZY! Thanks for having us!" Your coworkers cheer and clap. The members proceed to introduce themselves.

"Hello, I'm Ryujin, nice to meet everyone!" You blink and confirm what, or rather who you are seeing—not just ITZY's Ryujin, but the Ryujin who you went to school with all those years ago. You had heard that she became a trainee, but you never made the connection, that ITZY's Ryujin and your Ryujin were one and the same. Her appearance on the commercials and posters seemed familiar, but you never gave it much thought.

Ryujin scans the crowd, used to the wall of phones staring right back at her. Oddly enough, someone is watching without their phone up��maybe he doesn't know who they are. He's staring right at her, through her, and the face is suddenly familiar.

No way.

Your gaze catches Ryujin's, and her eyes widen in recogniztion, mouth opening slightly, as if to call out. Hurriedly you nod and bow slightly, and Ryujin gives a small nod in return, a puzzled expression briefly on her face before she quickly goes back to being a professional idol and smiling for the cameras.

After sweeping the room with a smile, Ryujin looks back to where he stood just a moment ago, only to find him gone. That was surely him! She scans the crowd of office workers, but everyone else has a phone up. Where did he go? The rest of the schedule goes as normal—a couple of office workers ask her to sign a few personal items, but not him.

"Manager oppa, let me use the washroom real quick."

"Sure, we'll wait in the lobby."

A few hurried steps—where did he go, he can't have gone far!

"Ryujin-ssi, are you looking for something?"

"Yes I—" She interrupts herself, hearing his name behind her.

"Hey, you just missed out on ITZY, can you believe they were here?! Whoa!" Ryujin surprises both you and and your fanboying co-worker. "Oh my god hello!"

"Ah yes, hello!" She greets him nicely before bringing her gaze to you. "Hey."

"Oh, yeah umm, hey. It's been a while."

"Mmhmm."

"Wait, you know him Ryujin-ssi?"

"Yeah, we were classmates, if you could excuse us."

"Oh, of course! Would you mind signing this—" Ryujin grabs his notebook and signs it quickly, and you get a jovial and envious nudge from your co-worker before you are left alone with her.

"How have you been?" Ryujin asks softly.

"Good," you reply succintly. Never has a single word so poorly summarized your life since that moment years ago. Suddenly you had no one to gossip with, no one to share secrets with, no one to veg out with on slow weekend afternoons.

----- 

"If you think about it, clouds are just leaky water balloons." Ryujin mutters as she lays next to you.

"What? That makes no sense." You shoot back.

"Just like you having a crush on that girl, Jisoo? What do you even see in her?"

"Oh, so now we're back on that? She seems nice, and she's cute!"

"Aish, I just don't like her. And since when did you like cute? You hated my aegyo, what if Woojin oppa likes it?"

"Him?" All he wants is to get with you! You couldn't bring yourself to say that. "He likes the sexy style. Guys are all perverts."

"Just like you right? I know you go mad at any girl who shakes her hips hmm? Anyways I'm sure Woojin oppa is different! If I'm sincere he'll feel it!"

"Yeah sure, go try that if you want." Sometimes you're so naive! You didn't add.

"Fine I will, hmph!"

-----

"How about you? Your group's doing well." he asks her. How was it for her, Ryujin thinks to herself... And seeing him for the first time in years, she remembers it sucked.

-----

"Ryujin, are you okay? Should I let the teacher know you can't do the trainee evaluation tomorrow?"

"Yes Yeji-unnie, it's just a cold, I can do the evaluation tomorrow, I have to," she manages to suppress a sniffle from beneath the covers. She pulls out the phone she hid inside her pillowcase, careful to not let any light leak out into the room. Her thumbs work on muscle memory—she needs to talk to someone. It stops at a familiar name, but it belongs to someone she could no longer talk to. Ryujin's lips quiver—it has been weeks since then, and he hasn't even reached out once! Yet she couldn't bring herself to be the one to reach out. She taps the phone against her forehead and hides a sob with a sniffle.

"Do you want some medicine?"

"No, I'm okay, thank you unnie, good night!"

"If you say so, good night."

Ryujin turns the phone off and slides it back under her pillow.

Just one message from you...

-----

"Yeah, it's all thanks to our fans."

"Nice, congratulations."

"Hmm? What for?"

"I dunno, I see ITZY winning a lot of stuff, I guess? I just never realized it was you, you look pre— I mean, your hair is very different now."

What was that? "O-Oh, yes, idol hairstyles, you know how it is." No of course he doesn't! Ryujin berates herself.

"Right..." There is an awkward silence, broken only by the sound of a manager or bodyguard calling out for her. "You should go, good to see you though."

"Yeah, yeah." Ryujin takes a quick peek around the corner and winces. "Hey, give me your phone!" You hand her your device, and she does a few quick taps.

"Ryujin-ssi?" A burly voice calls out.

"Yes I'm coming! Sorry I couldn't find the washroom!" She hurriedly calls out before returning you your phone. "Thanks, bye!" She disappears from sight around the corner, sounding all apologetic to the voice as they grow more distant.

You look down at your phone, it is a text to an unknown number, but clearly addressed to you.

*That's my number, I'll message you*

The old you would not have recognized the current you, going to your phone immediately when you hear it buzz, like you were a technology-addicted teenager once more. It had been months since you met Ryujin again, and things have been mending silently and slowly. She would text you, you would text back. You would see her group win one award or another, you would text her, and she would text back, albeit heavily delayed. Without seeing her in person, it is easy to forget what had happened between the two of you, and you are just glad to be messaging your old friend again. That is, until you see the current message buzzing on your phone.

*Hey, are you free for a coffee?*

You are in a cafe a few days later, one of the few still open late at night. You sit down across someone trying to be anonymous, donning a mask, cap, and a hoodie over all that. But you know she's Ryujin.

"Hey, at least take the mask off, do you know how much you stand out, someone who's wearing a mask, sitting in a cafe?"

"I was just waiting for you."

"Sure. What do you want, I'll go order."

"Just the usual—" Ryujin freezes. It has been so long, and yet reflexively she tosses out her order, like they are just doing a study session at a cafe near school instead, all those years ago.

"Sure." She stares at him walking away, and a thought strikes her—is he still the same?

The answer arrives along with her coffee as you sit down across from her, one arm across your chest, the other occupied with drinking coffee, one leg perched and crossed—defensive, guarded, cold.

"What did you want to talk about?"

"I-I just wanted to catch up. It's been so long since we talked."

"And whose fault is that?" A chill goes down her spine, and it wasn't from the ice in her drink—it would not be a jovial reunion. Ryujin tries to keep it light.

"Are you still on about that? Come on, that was so long ago."

"Oh, so at least you haven't forgotten about it, I guess that's good." Each word is a heavy blow on her heart. "So why did you ask me here?"

"I was just wondering how you've been—"

"Now that you've remembered I exist? But never thought to reach out before that hmm? I should send my thanks to JYP for signing that deal."

"What? You could have reached out too!" Ryujin already felt guilty, and now she felt stung too by your barbs.

"Yes, but I didn't, because you asked me not to! You told me to go away." you hiss back. "And now that you want to talk to me again, you just reach out to me like nothing has happened?"

"What was I supposed to do? I was busy with being a trainee! I'm sorry okay? I should have said that then."

"Well you can stay busy being an idol then!" You jerk your head in self-annoyance—you were a little too loud, and people turn to look, making Ryujin tilt her head lower. "Come on, let's go." She nods and follows you out the door.

"I'm really sorry, I should have said that right after I hit you. I was just happy to see you again, I didn't think about how you felt."

"I'm... not unhappy to see you again, but I don't know if I can handle meeting you like nothing has happened."

"What do you want me to do?"

"Nothing, just give me time, it's one thing to text someone on the phone, it's another to see them again."

"How much time do you need?"

"Hopefully less than a few years—" you catch your own snide remark as you hear Ryujin sniffle, and it wasn't that cold out. "Sorry, that was low, I don't know."

"At least you said it right away," Ryujin bitterly jokes to herself. You shrug and pat her on her shoulder in goodbye.

"Good luck on your comeback."

After a long while Ryujin takes a sip of her bitter coffee, except now it is salty. How did it all go so wrong, how was she so completely off?

Ryujin drowns herself in her work, proving his words right as she stays busy being an idol. Every so often her members catch a small smile before the sides of her lips flatten out—she still exchanged messages with him, but they were more iced Americano than hot chocolate. Many times she debated just sending a message, asking him if they could meet, but fearful of rejection, she could never bring herself to.

"What's up?" Yeji asks, sitting down next to her. "You keep smiling and then frowning at your phone."

"You know that guy I met at that event? The one I said I knew from school?"

"Yeah, at that company thing? You said you were close friends."

"We were, but I did something back then, and now we're not close anymore." She spills her history with him to Yeji.

"That's it? I mean, if he's still holding a grudge then fuck him."

"Yeah but, he's not wrong. We were close, I hit him, and I never even said sorry until now."

"You did say sorry this time right?"

"Yes, he said he needed time."

"Just give him time then, he has his life, if he wants you back in his life, then he'll let you know. Or if you want him back in yours, just reach out and ask, you don't know if you don't ask. But it's not like he has been a part of yours for years now right?"

"I guess."

"Exactly, at least you're texting with him now, he hasn't ghosted you, that should count for something!"

"No you're right, you're right, thanks unnie." Ryujin steels herself as Yeji leaves her room. She can do this, it's just one text, she's not asking him out on a date, she just wants to catch up! Maybe she can ask him out for drinks, maybe with other people around so that it won't get awkward, she can do that! But... maybe next week! First she has to look up when the next company hweshik is, yes, the message can wait.

"Hey, say hi, this is my old friend, I've known him since forever!" Ryujin introduces you to her group, pushing you down between two of her members before sitting down opposite you. Introductions go around, and you recognize the two members next to you as Yeji and Chaeryeong. Food and drinks arrive, although it seems like Ryujin is the only one drinking, and the atmosphere remains awkward—when Ryujin asked to catch up over drinks you assumed it would be a quiet thing, and certainly not in a group setting.

"Yah, don't try to be an idol around him and just take little sips, he's seen me do stupid stuff before, just drink!" Yeji and Chaeryeong start off slow, but soon they begin to take swigs, and you begin to do the same, and as the alcohol begins to flow, so does the conversation.

"So what was Ryujin like in school? Did she study at all, I bet she didn't!" Chaeryeong jokes.

"No no, she did study, she studied my homework." You joke, to raucous laughter from the ITZY members and staff.

"No I didn't, I even did better than you on exams!" But of course, no one listens to her. She is mollified after some placating from her members and more food on her plate, and the conversation flows on until the inevitable question.

"So, who's your favorite member in ITZY?" Chaeryeong asks, giggles bubbling out of her. It sparks a titter around you.

"Yah that's so boring!" "You're just saying that because you won't win!" "You're just saying that because he knows you!" "Says the one who spent 15 minutes choosing an outfit!" "Says the one who spent 30 minutes on make up today!" Ryujin blushes at the last comment—did she really spend 30 minutes on makeup today?

You save her the embarrassment by calming them down.

"I'll be honest, it's very nice to meet all of you, but I don't really know enough about any of you? So I guess all of you are my favorites?"

"Boo, cop out, drink! What if you had to choose? Like, I'll pay for your dinner today if you choose."

"Yeji unnie, don't make him pay for his dinner today! I'll cover you." Ryujin hastily butts in.

"Sure sure, I'll buy a second round of drinks if you choose." Ryujin makes to say something, but ultimately she has no retort and waits with the rest of them.

"I guess... since I know her the best, I'll go with Ryujin?" She pumps her fist, and rewards you with a healthy serving of grilled meat.

"Psh, wow, you gave the default answer. What if Ryujin isn't a choice, or who would be number two?"

"I guess number two would be—" your answer is drowned out by a roar as you see JYP the man himself, get on top of a table and start dancing, complete with plastic table sheet around his waist. The rest of the dinner and drinks flyby, and soon it is time to leave.

"It's nice to meet you all—" you start, but Ryujin cuts you off and throws an arm over your shoulder.

"No no, we're going to go for a round two, we need to catch up!"

"You can't Ryujin! We should go back home."

"No! I want a round two!" She yells, more than a little tipsy.

"You can't be seen in public like this!"

"I'll just drink at his house then!" She jerks a thumb in your direction. Their manager protests against it, and Ryujin yells back, but ultimately Yeji steps in.

"It's fine manager oppa, just let them catch up." After gently pushing the manager away Yeji turns to you. "Just go straight home with her okay? Take a taxi, make sure you two don't drink in public, and remind her to take a taxi back."

"Got it, I'll make sure she stays out of trouble." With that you half-walk and half-lurch with Ryujin into the back of a cab and back to your place. You open the door and Ryujin makes herself at home.

"Wow, living by yourself and everything, you've made it!"

"At least take your shoes off Ryujin!" They thud on your floor.

"Surely you have beer right?"

"Yeah, but all you get is one can."

"Cheapskate!"

"Fine, two cans." You grab four cans and sit down opposite her, and as you do so the alcohol suddenly hits you—you must have had more than you realized.

"Yah, so really, who would you choose from our members? Who's your favorite?" Ryujin asks him.

"What? How are you still on that?"

"Would you really choose me?" She persists, pestering and provoking you for an answer. She scoots herself closer. "Am I your favorite, am I the prettiest?"

"Well you did spend 30 minutes on makeup, so I guess?"

"Really? Awwww!" Ryujin clings on to him tightly.

"God of course you're a clingy drunk!" You try to break out of the embrace, but unfortunately you pause when you see Ryujin close up—she really is pretty tonight. Silently the two of you stare at one another, dual gazes dueling.

"Hey, you ever think... that we should have gotten together?" Ryujin whispers.

"What?"

"We had to deal with so many rumors back then, remember? Everyone thought we were dating."

"Idiots, all of them."

"You never considered it? I have..." She's an inch from you, maybe not even that. "I would have—" Ryujin crumples in your arms and passes out.

-----

"Argh, the girls are all saying I'm going out with you!"

"So?"

"Well we're not!"

"Exactly, so who cares?" You shrug and return to your video game.

"Me!"

"Why? Do you want us to go out so that it's true?" You are blind to Ryujin's blush, just as you get flashbanged in game.

"No that's not the point! It's about my image!"

"Sure sure, I don't have an image so I don't care. Let me know if you want us to go out."

"How can you joke about something like that!" She leaves in a huff, slamming the door behind her.

"Tch, I didn't say no did I?" You mutter under your breath.

----- 

Ryujin blinks and rubs the sleep from her eyes. She tries to get up, only to be suddenly aware of a firm arm around her.

"Mmm, just a little longer." The warm heat of his chest flows straight into her back. The hot breath on her neck makes her all warm and... tingly.

"Hey..." She whispers. "I need to go."

"No, stay—" you finally process the voice and your eyes snap open, to the back of someone's head, someone you knew far too well. "Ryujin? Dah!" You hurriedly let her go as she pushes herself away. "What happened last night?"

"I don't remember." She sits up and runs a hand through her hair. "Do you?"

"No, we sat down with beers, and then nothing after that."

"Ugh... Did we—" she checks herself, breathing a sigh of relief as she finds herself fully clothed.

"Of course not!"

"Yeah, like you're the one who has the most to lose here!" Ryujin fires back.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"The members will know I stayed the night, what do you think they'll think?"

"Just tell them the truth, we did nothing and you spooned me!"

"I? Spooned you? No no, the big spoon is the one doing the spooning, you spooned me."

"No, that's called a normal sleeping position, I wouldn't be spooning you if you didn't back yourself into me, little spoon."

"I'm not little— Whatever, I don't have time to argue, I have to go."

"Fine. Why did you even want to meet up?"

"What?" Ryujin asks, distracted and putting on her sneakers.

"You wanted to catch up, I came, except it was your hweshik? Like why?"

"I-I thought it would be a more casual setting, that's all."

"I mean, you're not wrong, but we ended up too drunk to talk after."

"Okay I'm sorry, let's meet up some other time, just us okay?"

"I'll hold you to do that." Ryujin waves goodbye, leaving the two of you annoyed and... frustrated, in more ways than one.

It is weeks later when Ryujin reaches out, and you begrudgingly agree to meet up yet again. You are more than slightly annoyed when you see someone sitting next to her.

"Ye... Ji, right?"

"Yes, you remembered!" Ryujin exclaims delightedly. "That saves me on introductions, I'll be right back!"  With that she's already off to order coffee for everyone. You greet Yeji with an awkward smile.

"How are you?"

"I'm good, you? It's good to meet you again, I was afraid Ryujin killed you after she didn't come back that night," Yeji jokes.

"We didn't do anything." You say automatically. "But that's a huge jump to make."

"Well, she came back with a guilty smile, like she enjoyed whatever she did that night. Her hair and makeup was fine, so clearly you didn't make a move on her—"

"I wouldn't make a move—"

"Which is so crazy to me, that her offing you isn't as large a jump to make."

"Ryujin's not—" Yeji's raised eyebrow stops you in your tracks. "I don't think of her that way."

"Really? She'll make you then, when she finally figures out she wants to."

You were about to ask what she meant, when Ryujin returns with the drinks. She puts your usual coffee order in front of you and sits down next to Yeji.

"So unnie, what do you think? Do you like him?"

"What?" You and Yeji nearly spit your drinks out.

"What are you talking about, isn't he your style?" Ryujin turns red and nearly spits her own drink out.

"No! He's my friend! I-I thought you were looking for someone unnie!"

"Keep your voice down!"

"Ryujin what are you doing? I never asked you about Yeji." You nod your head slightly towards Yeji. "Sorry, didn't mean it like that, I just don't know you well at all." She dismisses you with a kind smile, or so you thought, but the smile was for other reasons.

"None taken." God I am looking at two idiots.

"You have to start somewhere don't you?" Suddenly thirsty, Ryujin's drink is almost gone already. "You're not... in a relationship are you?"

"No I'm not, but you can't spring something like this on people."

"He's right you know. You don't just randomly bring people together without them knowing and expecting something to happen."

"Okay so I missed a step, I thought it would be a good idea."

"I'm heading out," you say with finality, finishing the rest of your drink with a shudder—ugh, brain freeze. "Ryujin, if you want to catch up, I'm more than happy to, but I don't know why you're pussyfooting around me about just talking one-on-one. I'm more than happy to get to know Yeji if you would just tell me, or tell her, for that matter, beforehand."

"Sit." Just as firmly as he left them, Yeji sits Ryujin down once they return to the dorms. "So, why did you make up that stuff about me? You're going to use your unnie without telling her?"

"Sorry! I just felt that it would be too awkward with just the two of us."

"I thought you two are old friends."

"We are, but it's different now, we grew up, things change."

"You like him, he is your style."

"What? No that's not what's happening here."

"Please Ryujin, it's been weeks, months even, since you first saw him again, any other guy that didn't show interest you would have moved on, and yet here you are, you spent a night with him—"

"We didn't—"

"Let me finish," Yeji warns in her I'm-the-leader tone. "You spent a night and didn't do anything with him, and yet you are using your dear unnie as an excuse to see him again. It's one thing if the sex is good and you want an excuse to see him again, it's another if you two haven't slept together yet."

"We did sleep together! He spooned me!" Ryujin says defensively.

"You two really are cute little idiots. I don't know what is going on between the two of you, but here, I will book a nice hotel suite with two nice king-sized beds. You two can go there and have a nice conversation, make things not awkward, and if you're really just friends with him, you can each spend the night on a nice big comfy bed. If not, feel free to not sleep in one bed together, naked!"

"Yeji unnie!"

"You're being foolish, and so is he."

"What?"

"He cares enough to text you first sometimes, so he's not disinterested. All I'm saying is, you put not a boy and a girl, but a man and a woman, in a hotel room, and things may just turn out fine." Yeji pats Ryujin on the head. "Just let me prepare everything, and I'll tell you when okay?"

"Yes unnie."

You should have realized that something was up when Ryujin invited you to a hotel. You gave her the benefit of the doubt when you see Yeji meeting you in front of the hotel ("She insisted I show you to the room, that's all, I'm not staying."). You probably shouldn't have when you realize you were going up to a suite.

"What's going on?" you ask Yeji right outside the door. "Ryujin can afford this?"

"She can, but I paid for this. As the leader I feel partially responsible about what she did to you last time, so I set up the two of you to have a night in, just like old times. Movies, snacks, games, you name it!"

"I wasn't planning on staying a night here, I thought it would be at a restaurant or something."

"It's okay, I just thought a room would be quieter than a restaurant, you don't have to stay the night if you don't want to."

"I see, thanks, I guess. Where's Ryujin?" 

"She's in there already, go ahead." Yeji gives you a pat on your back as she leaves, and you wait for the ding of the elevator before knocking.

"Hey."

"Hey, thanks for coming."

"Sure. Whoa, Yeji really did prepare everything." That she did, a huge spread of snacks, food, and a counter of various coffees, soft drinks, and alcohol—looks like you wouldn't need to order room service. "So, what should we do first?"

"I don't know, game? What did we do back then?" Ryujin asks, fumbling with her bag of chips.

"Watch a movie? Or TV?" That sounded good, so you scooped up some snacks and joined Ryujin on the sofa in the "living room" of the suite. You see two Ryujins in the room.

"Whoa, what's that?" You ask, nodding to the TV.

"Oh, it's nothing, was just monitoring a recent performance."

"Monitoring?"

"Like, watching yourself, checking for mistakes, stuff like that."

"That sounds... a little narcisstic no? Watching your own performances?"

"It's just something we do." Ryujin tries to close the video, but you stop her.

"Can we watch? I've never seen you perform before actually." She hesitates for a moment but presses play. Ryujin sits down next to you, slightly tense—how would you react? To her bemused delight, the questions incoming are very naive.

"You are showing a lot of skin." "Uhh yeah, that's kinda in the job description."

"And... isn't it a little too tight?" "Again, also in the job description."

"When was this performance again?" "Like a week ago?" "How come your hair looks so different now?" "I go to the salon, you do know that there's more to hairstyles than cutting right?" She reaches for his hair before he reacts.

"You haven't done anything to your hair have you, even the hairstyle is the same. Touch my hair." Her heart skips a beat when his fingers brush her hair.

"Whoa, why does it feel like that?"

"There's a lot you can do to it, most are not great for the hair, but hey, we need to show different styles, and hair is the easiest way to do it." He runs his digits through her hair, and Ryujin shudders at the sensation—it was weirdly hot.

"Sorry, does it hurt?"

"N-No, but you should stop."

"Right, sorry."

"No problem, any more questions, or can we watch something that's not me?"

"Sure sure, just... wow that's a very different line work."

"Yeah. What do you want to watch?"

"Wait, sorry one last question." You lean in and squint at the video, and then glance at Ryujin. "How long does it take for you to look like that on stage? Just the makeup."

"About umm, 40 minutes, an hour. maybe more?"

"Really? And how much time did you spend today?"

"Like 20 minutes?"

"And last time was 30 minutes?"

"You don't have to remind me about that."

"Yes yes, but you probably don't need to spend that much time on makeup. You should tell your stylists that." It takes a moment for Ryujin to process the compliment, and she blushes a deep red, overpowering what makeup she had on.

"T-Thanks, I'll let them know."

"I um, yeah, no problem, just saying." You stutter a little, realizing how weird that sounded coming from you. "Should we watch a movie, or drama?"

"Umm yeah, how about a movie?" Ryujin starts one, but neither of you really notice what's on screen. Instead, the two of you talk and talk and talk—your interest in her work prompts her own curiosity, and she asks about your job, about your life. You swap stories, and although you feel like Ryujin's getting the short end of the stick—your stories pale in comparison to the entertainment industry's wild rumors, she is equally enthused all the same—more importantly you're finally catching up with her. Inevitably the times you're talking about go backwards in time.

"Remeber when—"

"Yeah, or when he—"

"Who was our maths teacher again, Miss—"

"Did you know that he had a crush on you?" "No way! Really? That explains a lot." "What happened?" "He always wanted to be in my group, even though I don't do anything for projects. He was very nice, but he didn't ask me out in the end."

"Wait, he did all that? When was this? How come I don't remember this? What if he did ask you?" Ryujin taps her chin thoughtfully at his question.

"Would I have said yes? I dunno, we got along but we never clicked."

"Huh, but seriously when was this, I don't remember this at all." She watches him frowning, looking up at the ceiling and trying to remember, and she realizes why he couldn't, and wouldn't, be able to remember.

"Oh, it's because I never told you, because we, you know."

"Oh. Right." And there it is, finally the topic broached.

"I'm really sorry that I hit you, I should have said sorry back then, and it cost us both a lot. I still regret it even now."

"I don't blame you Ryujin, I should have reached out again, but I was childish. I did exactly what you told me to, even though that isn't what either of us actually wanted." He puts a hand on her shoulder, an olive branch. "We should move on from that, okay? No more doing stupid stuff like inviting me to a blind date without either party knowing."

"Okay, sorry, sorry. Now never bring that up again, please."

"Yes, let's just watch the movie. Make sure you turn off your phone so that you won't arrange another one for me." Ryujin throws a cushion at you, but you grab it and hand it back to her, and she hugs it against her chest as the two of you settle into the couch. You two end up closer and closer together, until you're shoulder-to-shoulder with her, her head lightly resting on yours, just like the old days.

But the movie the two of you are watching are definitely not age-appropriate for the old days, as the male and female leads struggle against one another, locked in a fevered and contentious argumentative embrace, until they give into each other. He pins her against the wall, she pulls her top off and wraps her arms around his neck.

"Ahh, mmm!" He presses himself into her, his hands tight around her waist. Her hips wriggle, bucking against him as he slips his hand under her shorts. A short gasp. She pulls off his shirt, revealing his chiseled chest and muscular arms—

Oh yes! The screen reflects off Ryujin's irises, but she's playing her own scene in her head. Of her with someone, with said someone right next to her. She squirms a little, and suddenly notices two things—that she's tense, holding her breath; and that he's tense, and holding his breath; scratch that, make that three things she notices—she's wet, the inside of her thighs sticky with need. She needs to get out before they—

"This movie's boring, we should watch something else," he rasps.

"Y-Yeah, let's watch something else. Hah even when we were young you never liked the R-rated scenes." she jokes, hoping to lighten the palpable tension.

"Then why did you agree with me? The old you would have made sure we kept watching. Let's keep watching then." You jostle her, making sure to keep a cushion over your lap.

"No, let's not, it's weird watching it with a guy."

"Oh, so now I'm a guy? Do you see me as a man? Are you interested in me, hm hm hm?" you play it off as a joke, but you are taken aback at Ryujin's lack of outraged denial.

"Why, are you interested in me?" Ryujin panics, and with the situation getting out of hand, she tries to solve it the only way she knows how—by throwing it back harder. "Now that I'm in a girl group, you're interested in me now aren't you? Did you enjoy my fancams just now?"

"N-No, of course not! And don't sit like a lady now, what happened to manspreading all over the couch like you used to? Are you hiding something?" Ryujin spreads her legs slightly, making herself all the more aware of her own arousal, and praying it doesn't show on her tight pants. Hurriedly she tries to escalate even further, to draw attention away from herself—she grabs his cushion and pulls it away, revealing his bulge. Daringly she grabs him, and his slight hiss just makes her wetter—because of his reaction, and because he is far more prominent than his jeans would suggest.

"What's this? I thought you weren't interested in me, hmm?" He slaps her hand away almost childishly.

"Of course not, that was just the movie being hot, not you! What about you!" He hovers a hand on her flat stomach, threatening to move down. "I wonder how wet you are down there, just from the movie right?"

"Of course! And if you're not interested in me, prove it!" Ryujin tries to escalate once more to "win" the argument. "Hit me!"

"What? You're crazy."

"No, I still feel bad about what I did all those years ago. I know you said you're over it, but I'm not, not until you hit me, so go ahead, hit me!" She grabs his arm, pulling it to her face, trying to make the hand connect.

"Ryujin I'm not going to hit you!"

"Why not, do you like me? I thought you weren't interested."

"No, you're just being stupid, I am not going to hit you. Ryujin!"

"Even if I feel bad? Even if I want you to hit me?"

"Especially if you want it, I won't hit you!" He is hypocritical though, and as Ryujin struggles harder he hits her.

In the face.

On her cheek.

Gently.

It is a warm, soft caress of her cheek, and he's pressed against her lips, kissing her hard. Ryujin's hand relaxes as her heart pounds against her chest. She puts both hands around his neck, pulling him in—god she wants this right now! The kiss spikes in intensity, but she can feel him draw back, slightly unsure. Her lips part, and she licks his slightly, and reassured he tongue-tangoes with her, soft moans coming from both of them. The kiss that started off by catching both of them by surprise quickly burns into something more, into apology, into making up for years of lost time, into pure lust.

Your free hand goes down from her neck to her shoulders, carelessly brushing the bra strap off. You wrap an arm around her back, hugging and holding her close—for the first time you realize that Ryujin's slim, a side-effect of her job. It made you want to protect her, to make sure no one would ever say no to her and hurt her and—

And to devour her. Your hand goes to her hip, and you freeze when she freezes, the fingertips touching her warm skin underneath her top retreating slightly. You feel her hand grab your wrist, did you go too far? No, she wants you to go further, putting your hand on her midriff and pushing you down, beneath her pants, and then one layer more.

"Fuck..." Ryujin can't help but whine as his fingers brush over her lips, instantly coating them with stickiness. Her body moves on its own, she's grabbing on to his arm, keeping him there, and she's bucking her hips, urging him to just curl his fingers and—

"Mmmm!" You could cum in your jeans right now just hearing Ryujin groan as you push two fingers into her. Your breath is heavy and hot on her lips while you try to hold the kiss, even as Ryujin squirms against you—she's tight and sticky and wet. "It feels so good, make me cum!" You hear her plead—you have never seen her quite like this, but you can't even begin to process that thought as her lips find your neck and suck harshly. You pay her back in kind, just as she desires, with firm pushes of your fingers into her, over and over. She cries out into your neck when your tips graze her just right, and soon her walls convulse and contract, making it even easier for you to rub her weak spot.

"Cum for me Ryujin." She nods into his neck, whining in pleasure as she gets even closer to her peak. He's growling in her ear, making her pussy squelch and leak. She squirts a little against his palm as he tugs on her earlobe, and he's hitting her in the sense that his cheek bumps against hers as she jerks erratically in ecstasy.

"Cum for me if you love me." WHAT? I don't��� Her mind blanks out as he rubs g-spot roughly, and she muffles her scream against his neck, the pleasure paralyzing her, interrupting her own disgreement. She remembers being tense against him, as if reaching up to cling to him. Yet when she comes to she's lying on the sofa, his weight pressed on her comfortably.

"Asshole," she whispers a weak retort. "I don't love— ah!" He takes her breath away again, kissing her passionately. "Whatever you say dear," is the look he gives her after the kiss, and it infuriates Ryujin, makes her want to get back at him. Get back at him in a way that she really wants to right now.

"Get off me," Ryujin pouts and mutters, and you acquiesce, slowly pulling your fingers out from her—her stickiness and tightness isn't a feel you would soon forget. Ryujin unbuttons your jeans, pulling it and your boxers to your knees. She presses herself into you, and with a muted moan you respond to her grasping your cock. Her hand runs up and down your length, all the way from base to tip.

"Do I feel good?" she whispers into your ear. Her free hand runs up and down your body, further stimulating you. "You want me to go faster?" The sound that leaves you is almost a whine. "You'll cum for me right? Cum for me if you love me too? Hmm?" Ryujin teases and baits you.

"No I won't," you mutter through heavy breaths, trying and failing to calm yourself down.

"You won't, even if I do this?" She runs a finger over your head, rubbing the underside of it. Where the fuck did she learn to do that! "No? Maybe I should stop?" She runs her palm over your head before pulling away, going back to stroking your shaft. Ryujin's a master baiter.

"No, don't stop!"

Ryujin's glad he says no, as she's not sure she can even stop herself. It's one thing to grab him over clothing, it's a completely different matter to see and touch it in the flesh, feeling his thickness, his length—she's suddenly thinking about it way too much. He grabs her thigh suddenly, squeezing it as he closes in on his own orgasm. His cock throbs in her hand—she can't wait to feel it burst, and then to feel it inside her. But first, she has to win. 

You groan as Ryujin slinks down your body, positioning herself between your legs. No, surely she wouldn't— Keeping her eyes trained on you the whole time and making sure you are watching her, Ryujin opens her mouth and pushes her lips past your tip, and then past your head, and then most of your shaft.

Cum for me if you love me! Of course, Ryujin's words aren't quite that clear, what with having your cock in her mouth, but her garbled sounds are abundantly clear in meaning. You don't have it in you to resist, and so you fall for Ryujin hard.

"Fuck Ryujin..." The low moan of her name, the sudden grab on her head, the jump of his cock in her mouth, and finally his thick salty load hitting the back of her throat and sliding down her gullet, it all serves to turn Ryujin on even more. As he shudders through his orgasm, the hand on her head runs through her hair, squeezes her scalp gently—Ryujin thoughts dull, focusing on all the sensations he's giving her. It's only when he softens, and her mouth no longer fully filled does she realize that he's done, and that she's drooling a little over his shaft. She looks up, only to find him leaning back, drained and wasted, but she wants more, and she swallows the last of his seed before getting back to work.

"Ryujin!" You wince in oversensitivity as Ryujin starts to stroke you again, adding licks of her tongue on your spent shaft. You firm up a little in her hands, and you get a little harder when she stops to remove her top and pants, revealing a set of simple black underwear. You get a lot harder, recovering to full strength with what she says next.

"I-I need more, I want us to do more." She walks away, her black panties sticking tightly to the apex of her thighs. The slight jiggles of her butt hypnotizes you, and you almost trip over your own pants as you try to follow her to the bedroom.

Ryujin laughs as she hears him stumble on the way over. There is a lot less laughing as he walks through the door, naked and stiffly pointing in her direction, before kissing her and pressing her into the soft bed. A brief fumble, and her bra falls away. In minor embarrassment she covers herself, but he pulls her hands away to plant kisses all around her chest and neck.

"No marks," she whispers, and he responds with a gruff note, that he heard her, but he's not happy about it. She rewards him with an unreserved moan as he pinches and rubs her stiff nubs, swirling his tongue around one, and then the other. There is a sheen of moisture over her flat tummy as he drifts down her body—why did she feel so warm? Ryujin burns a little hotter as he squeezes her thighs again, this time to spread them. His nose nudges against her mons, and her scent gets even thicker at the contact, and as he pulls her underwear to the side. "Don't— nngh!" his tongue catches her by surprise, and soon his warm breath is all over her core, licking and flicking and pressing, making her melt into a mess. And yet she needed more, her hips bucking involuntarily.

"No more, no need..." She pushes you away with a foot, kicking away her panties and removing the last piece of clothing she had on. You join her on the bed, and her legs quickly hook you close, lightly trapping you, the two of you are so close together now.

"Ryujin!" You gasp a final question to her as your shaft touches her entrance. There were many lines crossed today, all of which the two of you could probably ignore or be in denial about in the future, but the line you're on now is one that both of you know would be the Rubicon of your relationship, that things will undeniably change afterwards. But you look at Ryujin, and she is more than willing to leap over that line, and to challenge you to take the leap yourself. She grabs your cock, lining you up with her, adjusting herself until your tip catches her—just the tip, just a toe over the line. She wants you to do the rest.

It's happening, shit, he's so— The pressure in Ryujin's abdomen grows exponentially as the distance closes between their hips. Every time she's sure she can't take anymore of him, he gets deeper, his brows twitching with each inch he pushes into her.

"So tight..." Ryujin clenches even harder around him when she hears his muttered moan. She feels so full, so utterly stuffed, she has to arch her back, as if to try to stretch herself more, to make more room for him. He starts moving soon after, and the pleasure begins to slowly build up. But not fast enough!

"Faster!" you hear her moan.

"I don't want to hurt you," you mumble. She's just too tight to push through roughly, but she disproves that by bucking her hips up into you, and a jolt of pleasure goes up your spine. Her hands wrap around your neck once more, and her eyes are bright and eager. And also mischievous.

"Fuck me if you love me." She gives you no choice, and you willingly up the pace, and her tightness makes you thrust harder. Soon you are fucking her hard and fast with body-rattling strokes. Ryujin's moans get louder and wilder, her voice cracking when you hit deep in her. Her walls tremble around you, and your cock throbs in response to her quick contractions—both of you are close. Bewilderingly she stops you briefly, just as both of you are about to fully ascend in bliss.

"Do me from behind, I don't want you to see me."

"What?"

"I don't want you to watch me cum," Ryujin struggles and tries to push herself off the bed, but he grabs her arms, pinning them against the bed.

"But I want to." She weakly tries to fight back, but his forehead presses against hers, and he's all that she can see, all that she can feel as his cock plunges into her even harder and faster. His sweat drips on to her face, his hips fighting her thrashing lower body, all to fuck her even better—Ryujin knows that he's going to watch her lose control, and somehow that spikes her pleasure even more, that she's going to bare everything to him. I'm sure I'll look so ugly but—

"Fuck, oh fuck, oh my god, oh my— GOD!" Ryujin has never looked hotter as she falls apart right in front of you. Her face goes slack, and she throws her head back as she silently combusts around you, her entire body writhing in pleasure. Her pussy seems to grip and tug at you, as if trying to suck you in deeper, to suck your—fuck it's too dangerous! You manage to spread her thighs further and pull out in time, joining Ryujin in climax, splattering her quivering lithe body with thick splotches of cum.

You roll to the side, laying down next to her and breathing heavily. Ryujin's lips are still lightly parted, soft moans joining your pants as the two of you work through the last bits of pleasure going through your heads. It is almost cute how she blinks rapidly after opening her eyes, not seeing you right on top of her. She turns the wrong way first, and blushes like mad as she turns the right way to face you. She mumbles something, but your head is still buzzing and ringing to hear her.

"What was that?"

"Nothing, umm, tissues please." With what felt like a huge effort, you manage to push yourself off the bed to grab some towels instead. The aftermath is surprisingly awkward, as Ryujin asks to use the shower first, and you avert your eyes as she comes out of the bathroom. She quickly puts on a bathrobe, and by the time you get up, she's already out of the bedroom, saying something about getting some water. You take a long shower, trying to figure out what to say when you're face-to-face with Ryujin again—Be with me? This never happened? I like you? I love you? I want you? Let's just be fuckbuddies? You come out just as uncertain as before, except much cleaner, and you make sure you are properly covered before exiting the bathroom.

"Hey," Ryujin calls out, tapping away at her phone.

"Hey."

"There's water on the table."

"Thanks." You gratefully down the glass of water before looking at the state of your bed—ruffled, wrinkled, fluid-stained.

"You should sleep with me." You catch the briefest of smiles before Ryujin turns away from you, still playing on her phone.

"What?"

"Your bed's dirty, we should just share one."

"Are you okay with that?"

"I asked you didn't I?"

"Right, thanks." Cautiously you slip into bed next to her, and making sure you kept a healthy distance from her, you faced away from Ryujin and tried your best to sleep.

"Good night Ryujin."

"Good night."

Ryujin wakes up the next morning, only to find him spooning her yet again. She gently tries to lift his arm again, and this time he hugs her even tighter. After last night, rather than be surprised and push herself out of his arms, Ryujin has some morning wetness as she feels something she didn't last time. She knows they'll have to talk about what happened after he wakes up, but she'd rather delay that conversation for as long as possible.

You wake up to a warm sensation between your legs, and it isn't unfamiliar. You look under the covers, only to see Ryujin bobbing her head, bringing your morning wood to full hardness.

"Ryujin? We should—"

"Later." She crawls up your body. "You were spooning me again, I couldn't ignore it."

"No way, you spooned me."

"No, we were facing away from each other."

"Fine, we were, mmm! Spooning each other." Ryujin is shockingly wet, and you quickly groan and compromise with her as she rubs herself over your shaft.

"Deal." She seals it with a vacuum seal over your cock, sinking herself to the hilt in one motion. She flutters around you, and Ryujin buries her head in your neck and let's out a low moan.

"Did you just—?"

"No, just umm, feels good." She throws off the covers, and soon with two hands on your chest Ryujin's riding you, her fit body on full display. Her petite breasts jiggle slightly as she bounces and grinds on you slowly and randomly, indulging herself in a morning fuck. This time she doesn't hide anything, and she's moaning unreservedly, letting you know just how good she feels.

"So deep!" "Fuck right there!" "You're going to make me cum!"

You know she's close when her chin begins to dip into her chest, spending all of her strength on riding you faster, hips bucking back and forth quickly, her slick beginning to leak all over you. You also know that based on how she grips you, there's no way you can hold off your own peak, and you'll go right with her if she does.

"Ryujin, you should get off..."

"No, fuck I'm so close."

"Ryujin!"

She grabs your hands and puts them around her waist—her intent clear.

"Cum in me if you love me." It is reckless, dangerous, stupid even, but Ryujin didn't care. She just put him in checkmate—there was no hiding how either of them felt. Sure he could bluff and lift her easily off him, or he could just jam her on top of him, pump himself up into her and fucking breed her little—

"Fuckkkk!" Ryujin wails at her sinful intrusive thoughts, and she cums immediately. A fresh rush of slick covers your cock, and with Ryujin's velvet grip around you, you give in to your urges and pull her down, making sure you're driving deep into her just before you explode. Lights flash behind your eyes, a mess of hair and lips and teeth in your face as Ryujin tries to kiss you, muffling her outright scream while the two of you finish each other off. Your connection is warmer than ever—from Ryujin's juices all over your crotch, from your cum filling her womb to the brim.

Ryujin's entire body is warm as she comes back down from her high, and he's tightly hugging her. She can hear his heartbeat (or is that her own?) against her chest, and when she flexes her muscles, a heartbeat skips—she could still feel him inside her, and she's almost abnormally warm and wet down there. She winces slightly when his lips find her neck—he's leaving a mark, his mark.

"N-No marks," she protests weakly, but she doesn't really mind, her mind filled with endorphins of happiness, if anyone could see Ryujin they would see her absolutely glowing right now.

"Mm," a mumbled apology, and you're looking at Ryujin as you leave only one hickey on her neck. "You're really pretty, you don't need makeup."

"Thanks, that's random."

"Right, I umm, don't know what to say."

"Then don't." Tiredly Ryujin rests on top of you, and truthfully neither of you minded if you went back to sleep right then. But the real world calls, and Yeji is insistent, calling multiple times even after Ryujin fumbles and rejects the earlier calls.

"Yah, the hotel said you haven't checked out yet? They need to clean it!"

"Just a little longer unnie."

"Yeah, just a little more," you add on.

"Oh, so you two used one bed, hmm, that's nice."

"No, we used both beds, and shut up." Ryujin blushes and fires back immediately to cut off Yeji's cackling.

"Not bad, you didn't disappoint me or Ryujin it looks like. But seriously hurry up and check out."

"Okay okay, we will!" Ryujin ends the call before rolling off you. "God she's going to be so annoying, gonna be all like 'I told you so!', ugh."

"Yeah, we should clean up. Could you pass me the tissues?" This time it is Ryujin that helps you clean up, handing you the box of tissues as she cleans herself too. There is no time to shower, so the two of you quickly get dressed before ambashedly leaving. Before you could get to the concierge, Ryujin quickly pulls you into a side hallway.

"Hey, so what happened last night?" What is she talking about, neither of you were drunk! But the careful way she asks that question is less about your memories of last night, and what it means for the two of you for every night going forward.

"I'll take responsibility, if anything happens—" Ryujin quickly shakes her head, fidgeting slightly.

"No not that, I'll be fine, but just, what about us?"

"That's... That's up to you, did anything happen last night?" she's stumped by his question, until she's suddenly in his embrace, and he's whispering in her ear. "You're the idol, did anything happen? Is anything allowed to happen? I'll go with what you want, I don't want you to get hurt."

"Do you... want it to happen?" Is what she asks, but you look down at Ryujin looking up at you, and you understood the question. Do you want us to happen?

"Yes."

"Then it did." You lean down to kiss her, and Ryujin flashes you the brightest smile before gently pushing you away. "Not here, people might see!"

A few days later you wanted to ask Ryujin out, but you realized you didn't know how to. So you text Yeji.

*You two are idiots just ask her like a normal couple would!* is her scathing reply.

*Can I drop by, I want to ask her directly*

*She won't like that, the other members don't know yet*

*OK, can you set me up with her then, I'll meet her at a cafe or something*

*Just come by, I'll give you our address, I can't be bothered to deal with you two little cavity-inducers*

You arrive in front of their dorms, and thankfully Yeji has the sense to make Ryujin answer the door.

"Hello?" Ryujin's eyes almost pop out of her head as she hurriedly closes the door behind her. "What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to umm, ask you out, when are you free?"

"You couldn't have texted me?"

"I... guess I could have. But I wanted to see you." A warm fuzzy feeling fills Ryujin's heart, and she makes sure you feel the same way.

"Yeah, I missed you too." You hug her tightly, happy at her admission and confession.

"So you'll go out with me then? Whenever you're free I guess."

"Yeah." Ryujin stays silent for a moment, before her eyes twinkle and her lips curl into a smirk. "I'm free Friday, come pick me up then if you love me."

"Friday it is then."

A/N: Finally back with a story, hope it's alright. I tried playing with switching perspectives a lot more, so hopefully it's not too confusing. Getting back into things, hopefully will be posting more frequently from now on, but might not get back to the one-a-week I used to kinda do. Thanks for reading and happy holidays!

[mmmichyyy]

40? for the prompt

#40. "am i your husband or your taxi service?"

the first time it happens, mickey doesn't think much of it.

can you pick me up after my shift? too tired to take the L

when mickey is near the station, he parks the van a block away. force of habit from when he and his brothers used to sneak up and collect from people who owed terry money. plus, he doesn't particularly want ian's coworkers to see their stolen ambulance, even though it's completely unrecognizable after debbie helped them revamp the entire thing and paint over it with the logo sandy designed.

here

i don't see you

i'm parked a block away

pick me up at the station

your legs don't work?

i'm tired :(

i drove the van

it's fine no one will be able to tell lol

mickey rolls his eyes and drops his phone in the cupholder. as he pulls up across the street from the station, he sees ian standing on the curb, chatting with someone wearing a matching EMT uniform, a shorter man with tan skin and curly hair.

mickey honks once, a bit impatient since he's hungry as fuck and there's a large pizza he ordered earlier waiting for them at their apartment. ian lifts his head and smiles. as he waves goodbye to his coworker and jogs over to the van, mickey doesn't miss the way the dude is gaping at mickey with wide eyes and a dropped jaw.

the hell is this guy's problem?

"everything okay?" mickey asks, once ian buckles his seatbelt and reclines his seat.

"just tired." ian yawns. "had a long shift today."

"well," mickey puts the van in drive, reaching over the center console to ruffle ian's hair, promptly forgetting ian's weird coworker, "i already ordered a pizza so we can eat then turn in early."

ian smiles sleepily and interlaces his fingers with mickey's. "you're the best husband ever."

mickey shakes his head, biting back a smile. "sappy fucker."

*

after almost two weeks of ian asking to be picked up, mickey suspects something is up. not that he minds or anything, since he makes his own schedule nowadays. after the security business started turning a profit and ian went back to being an emt, he hired a couple of guys to drive the routes so he could work from home and catch up on admin work, freeing up a lot of time in his day to day.

but ian never used to mind the commute. he's the kind of long-legged freak who liked to take the scenic route and go on long runs in the morning, just for fun. absolutely deranged behaviour, in mickey's opinion. but lately, ian has been flashing his kicked-puppy eyes and asking to be chauffeured like a pampered prince and, well. mickey could never resist spending more time with his husband, so he hasn't said anything. not yet, anyway. god he's so whipped.

the excuses ian came up with, however, were more unbelievable as it went on, ranging from the train broke down (mickey knew for a fact it didn't), to spraining his elbow (though he had no problem throwing mickey on the bed later that night with his supposedly injured arm), to how it was going to rain later (it was sunny all day without a cloud in sight).

when mickey tried to call him out on his bullshit, ian either got down on his knees or flipped mickey over and fucked him senseless into the bed, promptly making mickey forget what the hell he was trying to say.

it's gotten to the point where ian stopped making excuses and simply asked mickey to come get him. which truthfully, mickey doesn't mind at all. but he just finds it odd how his beefy athletic husband had gotten so lazy.

"what's with you?" mickey finally asks one day, as ian climbs into the passenger seat.

ian blinks innocently. "what do you mean, dear husband of mine?"

mickey rolls his eyes. "am i your husband or your fuckin' taxi driver? 'cause i've been picking your ass up every day for the past two weeks when you have two perfectly functioning legs."

ian huffs, crossing his arms. "maybe i just want to spend more time with you."

"we live together," mickey points out flatly, "how much more time do you need?"

"i–"

a tap on the glass interrupts them, and mickey turns to see a woman with brown hair tied back in a ponytail, enthusiastically gesturing at him to roll down the window.

"the fuck?" mickey turns to ian, whose face has turned slightly pink. "did you forget something at the station?"

"ah, no." ian scratches his head sheepishly. "sue is just being... sue."

sue waves her hand again and mickey reluctantly lowers the window.

"mickey, this is sue, my supervisor, and sue, this is–"

"the elusive husband." sue grins. "i've heard a lot about you, mickey."

mickey raises his brow. "have you now."

"oh sure," she says, ignoring ian's frantic head shaking, "ian won't shut up about you, yapping on and on about mickey this and mickey that. we're all jealous at the station actually, everyone just complains about their partners while ian keeps gushing about how perfect and amazing his husband is. his words."

"huh." that explains a lot, actually, why there was always someone different waiting with ian every time he came to pick him up, and why they all stared at him like a circus freak. "well, i bet ian didn't tell you the time we stole an ambu–"

"okay," ian cuts in loudly, reaching over to turn the key in the ignition, "we're leaving. i'll see you tomorrow, sue."

"come to the company picnic next month," sue calls out. "it's a potluck and everyone is bringing their family. it'll be fun!"

"uh sure," mickey says, even though a social gathering with ian's nosy coworkers sounds like the least fun thing he's ever heard of. he looks over at ian, slumped in his seat, avoiding mickey's eyes. "I'll check my schedule."

once mickey drives around the corner, he playfully flicks his finger at ian's temple and ian rolls his eyes, shaking his head.

"you yap about me to your coworkers," mickey teases. "you're so fuckin' whipped."

"whatever," ian grumbles. "stupid sue calling me out."

"is that why you keep asking me to pick you up?" mickey asks, amused. "to parade me around like a little show dog?"

"well, eduardo blabbed to everyone he saw you, then everyone kept asking about you and wanted to see you in person, so..."

"hm." mickey reaches over and brushes his thumb over ian's palm. "what do you say about me?"

ian links their fingers together and sighs. "that you're attentive. funny. caring. protective. loyal. the ideal man."

mickey laughs. "you're really overselling me here, gallagher. did you forget i'm an ex-convict, pimp and drug dealer?"

ian waves him off and continues. "kind. loving. perfect in every single way, except when you leave your socks on the floor. oh and that you're hot as hell with an ass that won't quit."

"you talked about my ass?"

"okay, i didn't say the last part," ian amends, "your ass belongs to just me. but i meant everything else i said."

"you really are a sappy fucker."

"you love it."

"i'd love it even more if i didn't have to be your chauffeur every day, at least they get paid to drive back and forth."

"you come with me to the picnic, i'll pay you with favours in bed. i'll even throw in a big tip."

"a big tip, huh..."

[mabelstone]

hello babie

little angst fic in light of the new matt pics? gruffy stubborn horknee matt? a little christmas miracle?

love u miss u

hi sugarpie miss u more

hope this suffices <3 i couldn't think of a 'christmas miracle' i am sorry xx maybe i'll write a soft christmas fic after this

18+ ofc, you know me by now

Nobody Compares to You

matt stone x reader

word count: 2.1k

***

Being with a prolific near-billionaire with a ridiculously successful TV show and a close-to cult following has its downsides. The copious amounts of groupies, stalkers, etc, etc. Not to mention that he's the textbook definition of a workaholic, which often meant you would go days without seeing each other due to your conflicting work schedules, despite sharing the same bed each night.

You knew this going into your relationship with him and you swore you wouldn't have it any other way.

That was until you found out about the new hire at South Park Studios. A painfully beautiful, bubbly young woman around your age, funny and oh, so intelligent. To your dismay, everyone in the studio had grown very fond of her, including your beloved boyfriend. The part he failed to mention was that she was now his personal assistant, hence why she would text him at inappropriate hours and was practically glued to him each time you visited him at work on one of your days off.

You could look past the groupies and die hard fans as you knew they wouldn't ever stand a chance. But a young woman so full of life, someone who made Matt cackle the way only you and his friends could unearthed something deep inside you. An unmistakable hatred for this girl, though she hadn't done anything wrong, per se. This created a rift in your relationship with him, and though you wanted to blame her, it was painfully clear that it was your doing.

One day you'd surprised him with lunch, taking in a container of his absolute favourite meal that you'd slaved over all morning.

"Oh, thank you, gorgeous," he'd kissed you tenderly, though his words to follow suggested he wouldn't be eating it any time soon. "I wish you'd called... Belle and I just got Chinese, I'm stuffed."

Your smile faltered, peering over at the twiggy blonde tapping away at her laptop with her long, neon orange nails. "I wanted to surprise you. My mistake."

Belle looked up intermittently with an unreadable expression, "yeah, so sorry. What was your name, again?"

"Y/N," you shot her a fake smile that was about as friendly as a kick to the jaw. He mustn't talk about me often. "Ah," was all you could muster, a pang of disappointment flooding your veins.

"I'm sorry," he frowned lightly, a gentle hand taking yours. "I'll have it for dinner! You know me so well."

"So you'll be staying late again?"

"At this rate, it's a safe bet," he smiled sympathetically. He looked tired, no surprise. You sometimes selfishly wished that he'd get a bad cold or something so he'd be forced to stay home with you. "I'm really sorry."

"Meeting in five, Matt," Belle spoke up, her tone a lot friendlier than it was with you.

"I'll get out of your hair then." You didn't say bye, instead speed walked to your car, fuelled by your rage toward his assistant.

Matt: Not even going to say goodbye to me?

Matt: This isn't my fault

You: i just didn't know you were having lunch dates with your assistant

You cursed yourself straight after your message sent, realising just how ridiculous you sounded. Like a jealous teenage girl.

Matt: Lunch date? You mean having lunch with your coworker is now considered a date?

You: does she even know you have a girlfriend?

Matt: Do I really have to share my personal life with my assistant? She does, yes. What has gotten into you?

You: she gets to spend every minute of every day with you

Matt: So this is about her? Don't be so jealous, this is a work relationship.

Matt: Gotta go.

Your eyes blurred with tears as you drove home in silence, your jaw ticking in frustration. You couldn't help but wonder if you were in the wrong. Surely he would have had to pick her as his assistant, right? Why couldn't he have picked a man. Or, as awful as it sounds, a girl who wasn't so attractive. Or maybe a girl who wouldn't have graduated the same year as you.

He got home at 11pm, a bit earlier than you had anticipated. You couldn't sleep though, your mind running wild at the possibilities. With all the time spent with her and away from you, would he fall for her? Would he stop loving you? Was she planning to whisk him away from you? Was your little argument today just pushing him further into her arms?

He walked into your bedroom and didn't say a word. He walked straight into the ensuite and locked the door before you had a chance to speak, closing your mouth immediately.

When he came out, he looked visibly more relaxed, newly grown out curls dripping beads of water onto his skin. He sat in front of you on the bed, only a towel keeping him decent.

"Care to tell me what that was earlier?" His voice was stern, eyebrows slightly raised.

"You tell me," you tone was unwavering as well, arms folded across your chest.

"I wish I could," he huffed, the frustration clearly creeping back. "I can see that you're jealous. But I think theres a bit more to it, isn't there?"

"I miss you."

"Of course I miss you too. But I have to go to work. I can't control the hours!" He raised his voice slightly. Maybe there was more to this for him, too.

"We haven't had sex in two weeks, Matt," you sighed, looking toward the ceiling as that awful, sad feeling reared its ugly head again. "You used to want it- need it, every second day, at least."

"We haven't had time!" He sighed now, running a hand over his face. "I've had to... deal with it myself."

"Does your assistant have to be there for that too? Does she add it into your calendar?" You bit, meeting his eyeline again, that now had narrowed on you, angry brows knotted together.

"You are a brat, you know that?" He spat, appearing as if he were about to double over in anger.

"I'm a brat, huh?" You laughed humourlessly, shaking your head at him. "I spent all morning cooking for you. Every day I do all the cleaning after I've been working all day. I iron your clothes for the next day and have them ready for you every night before I even think to do anything for myself. Before I even have dinner!"

He just stared back, not interjecting for a change. His expression softened as he let you get it all out.

"I have done that for you for four years now! Four years! But I'm a brat, huh? All because I miss you and yes, I'm upset that you have a pretty new assistant. I'm upset that she spends all day with you, gets to have lunch and sometimes dinner with you. She gets to eat and laugh with you, all the while I come home to our house alone. I go to sleep alone and wake up alone. Do you know the things I would do to have lunch with you just once a week? The fact that I'm even explaining myself is ridiculous, I-"

Your rambling was cut short but warm lips pressing gently against yours. Your hands instantly found damp curls, fighting the urge to cry at the fact he was finally at your fingertips, and not when he was snoring beside you in the small hours. He was finally there, finally, you had his undivided attention.

His fingers quickly hooked into your panties, pulling them off in one autonomous motion. He wasted no time disconnecting your lips, positioning himself between your thighs. His warm tongue flitting over your clit sent a shockwave of electricity through your body, a sharp gasp from your lips piercing the overwhelming tension in the room. You grabbed a fistful of his hair without a second thought, grinding down onto that beautiful face. The coarseness of his beard scratched your inner thighs, sending a chill down your spine. With your eyes screwed shut, you moaned his name just as you had imagined for nights on end, his own groan vibrating against your core. You opened your eyes when you thought he'd pulled out your vibrator, soon realised it was just his phone buzzing somewhere on the bed spread. He didn't slow his motions, continuing to lick dizzying stripes across your clit. You felt around for his phone, wishing you hadn't when you saw her caller ID on the screen.

"Are you fucking serious?"

"Mm, what?" His voice was muffled against you, only pulling away when you pulled your hips away. "Oh, come on. I can't control when she calls me, babe. It's probably something really important."

You realised you weren't angry at him, but absolutely livid with her. You just had a gut feeling about her. You knew girls like her, you could tell from he minute you laid eyes on here. She just wanted to climb the hierarchal ladder that was your beloved boyfriend. Unfortunately he was going to have to figure that out on his own. You couldn't help but give him the cold shoulder that night.

***

Things had slightly improved between the two of you. You'd been intimate more frequently, things often getting so steamy that one time he'd bent you over the kitchen counter, resulting in very burnt chicken for dinner.

For the sake of your own sanity, you'd stopped torturing yourself with your imagination over his beautiful assistant. He loved you, he was as faithful as they come.

Matt: I'll be home in 30 xx

He'd messaged you that two hours ago. You were worried you'd have to start calling police stations, but he finally responded to your missed calls with another text.

Matt: Long story. Talk soon.

He returned home an hour later, the door slamming behind him. You startled from where you sitting on the couch, having stress drank through half a bottle of red wine at this stage. He scooped you up from your position on the couch, eliciting a loud squeal of surprise from you, followed by the thunk of your wine glass hitting the carpet, effectively painting the rug crimson.

"Don't worry about it," he breathed against your skin. "Missed you," he trailed kisses along your jaw and neck, your breath hitching when he would hit your sweet spots.

"Mm- what happened at work? Where were you?" You grabbed his jaw in an attempt to slow him to no avail. He continued to carry you to the bedroom, physically in front of you, but mentally somewhere deep between your thighs.

"Don't worry about it," he echoed, placing you down onto the bed. You felt a little worried - he only got like this if something really stressful happened. He was usually great at talking about his feelings, especially when something happened at work.

He continued to kiss down your body, trying to strip your clothes with such haste you could barely keep up.

"Babe- stop. Stop." You huffed, finally getting a grip on his tireless wrists. "What happened? Were you with her?"

Then he came back into his body, eyes narrowing on yours. "We're seriously still on this?" He groaned, sitting back on his knees. "I fired her."

"Fired her?!" You couldn't hide the surprise in your tone, but masked the happiness very well. "Why? I thought she was a hoot, no?"

"I don't want to talk about it right now," he sighed. Catching your expression, he realised you weren't going to let up until you had the full story. "Jesus- okay, she tried to make a move on me. Happy? You were right." He rolled his eyes.

Now you were beaming. You thought you'd be more upset, but his obvious disgust debunked that thought immediately. "Say that last part again."

"You were right," he rolled his eyes again, playfully this time. "Now take off your clothes."

"Yes, sir!" You laughed too, stripping off your clothes so fast, you'd miss it if you blinked. Immediately, he was on top of you, a growing hard on pressing into your thigh.

"Nobody compares to you," he mumbled against your lips, stripping his boxers without taking his eyes off you, drinking you in. "Nobody."

His words warmed you to your core, words you didn't know you needed to hear. Despite the intensity leading up to this moment, he slid himself in slowly, stretching and filling you inch by glorious inch. You arched your back into the feeling, bare chests rubbing against one another.

"I love you," you breathed, grinding gently into him, both of your hips connecting in slow synchronicity. His warm arms surrounding you, pulling you impossibly closer.

"I love you," he kissed you slowly, "so, so much."

You felt more connected than you had in weeks, months, even. And in that moment, you too though, nobody compares to you.

you know me by now. no proof reading sozzy and this ending sucks balls... but its dry out here

[fandomtherapy44]

TWD Daryl Dixion x Fem.Reader Chapter 1:Cold coma

Summary: Y/n Grimes is a doctor who has a heart of gold and who wants to take care of everyone. She loves her family, but her whole world gets flipped upside down when her Dad goes into a coma, and a mystery virus is going around killing people. What will she do when she comes face to face with it? Read to find out more!

Paring: Daryl Dixion x Fem.Reader

WC:2,219k

Reblog Banner

cafekitsune

warnings: Gore, sex, language, guns, and spoilers for TWD TV show series

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My alarm rings at five in the morning, and I force myself to rise. I breathe in deeply, trudge to my mirror sink, and pick up my toothbrush. As I stare at my reflection, I think to myself, was being a doctor really worth it? I quickly pick up my pace. If I didn't do it now, I would never do it, not with my schedule. I get my keys and rush to my car. I get to the hospital, walk in, and get straight to the things I need to do. 

“Hey, sooo how was the date?” My friend and coworker Becca asked me as we were changing into our scrubs for the day.

I sigh thinking about it. I mean, he was cute and nice but for some reason, I just couldn't see him being my person. “It was okay, I mean, I don’t think there is going to be a second one.” I didn't look into her eyes knowing there would be a little disappointment behind it.

“Y/n Grimes! That is the fourth guy I've set you up with within the last month and not one guy, not one you liked!” She whined, in disbelief that I wasn’t completely enamored with my date.

“I'm sorry Becca, they were all… great, just not for me.” I patted her shoulder in comfort as I closed my locker. I mean it's not like I haven't tried, I just haven't had the time or the desire since I started medical school, since… Hunter. 

I walk over to my station and look over the patients I have for the day. As I looked at the clipboard, lots of people were drawn to the news on the TV. “Today we are getting reports of a sickness breaking out in Thailand. Patients are dying from a bite from another infected. We will continue to report. Sue Parker, signing off for now.” What!? I have never heard of anything like that. I knew the human mouth was toxic…but like that? I'm sure they would have a cure soon, I thought to myself. I was attempting to self-soothe so I could focus, I just never knew how wrong I could be.

Throughout the day, I have had this feeling deep in the pit of my stomach that something is wrong, very wrong. I tried drinking water, medicine, and food to try to settle but nothing would work. Then I got the phone call that would change my whole life. 

“Hello?” There was a pause on the other line. It was my mom, Lori. “Mom, what's wrong?” My heartbeat started to ramp up filling in the silence. 

“It’s your dad��� he’s been shot badly.” She finished through a shaky sob. At that, my whole world tilted. Things started to blur and I didn’t even notice I had fallen on my knees with tears streaming down my face. 

“I’ll be right there.”   

================================================

I had taken all my sick days and then some, but I wasn't going to let my job be in the way of my family. I left right after work, driving straight to my apartment and gathering all that I could carry in two suitcases. I didn’t know how long I would be gone. All I knew was I had to get to my family. I turned off my lights, grabbed my locket, looked back and closed the door, locking it tight. I didn't know that was going to be the last time I would ever see my leaky faucet and nearly dead houseplant I neglected.

The drive from South Carolina to Georgia had never felt so long. The trees passing by my eyes began to look brushed, as if painted, indicating how fast I was driving. I drove straight through the night, thinking If I stopped for one minute he wouldn't be there when I got home. I finally got to my home in the great state of sweet peaches, which now left a bitter taste in my mouth. I get to the hospital breathing deeply as a futile attempt to calm down. It's funny in a twisted way. I go in every day to my job to take care of other people. I would never think it would be the other way around.

I walked to his room and saw my little brother Carl sitting with our mom next to him. He was reading a comic book. He looks up and sees me. 

“Y/n!” He drops the book and runs to me. I scoop him into my arms warmly.

 “Hey, bud.” I just held him in strength and comfort that we both needed.

“Dad’s going to be okay, right?” He asked while looking up with his blue eyes, thinking I would know the answer because of my job. I wish I did. 

“Of course he is.” I have never lied like that to him before. Mom gets up right behind him. 

“Hi, sweetie.” She said in a soft voice clearly sleep deprived. She clearly hadn’t changed or showered since she received the news.

“Hey, Carl, here's two dollars. Can you go get some candy for us?” I nodded at the vending machines trying to distract him so I could talk to her. He gets a smile, grabs it and runs to them, probably the first smile in the last few days. I turn back to her trying to hold back tears, but a few slip down anyway.

“How is he… really please don’t lie to me.” She glances down at her ring thinking about my question. She tightened her fists in sadness and frustration. 

“A coma, he was shot in the lower chest. The doctors have no idea how long it’ll last.” At that, the floodgates were opened in my eyes and hers. We embraced each other tightly. 

“So Shane got him here?” I wiped the tears before Carl could see.

“Yeah, he was there and got the medics right on the way.”

“Okay, I’m going to go see him if that’s okay,” I asked with a little shake in my voice not even believing I had to ask this.

“Of course baby, I got Carl.” I give a small smile, walk to his room, and open the door slowly. There he is, in a room I see every single day- and it’s almost impossible to enter. The medics had him on an IV drip and oxygen, a bandage covering his wound. 

“Hi, Dad.” I sat in the chair next to the bed. Listening to the machines instead of him talking was like torture. “It’s your favorite daughter, Y/n.” I chuckled at that, a joke that we always kept running considering I’m his only daughter. “So, work has been work, I don’t think there will ever be a shortage of people making stupid mistakes to end up in the ER,” I once again joked to the silence, hoping I would hear something back. “Um…so Mom, Carl and I really miss you…I'm asking you to wake up.” I’m holding his hand and a tear falls on it. “I remember the day you guys adopted me…the best day of my life. I remember you telling me that nothing bad would ever happen to me as long as I'm your daughter so… please don’t break your promise.” 

================================================

Being in the house just felt… wrong at this point. Dad had been in the coma for about two weeks and just sleeping and knowing my dad wasn’t in the other room sent chills down my spine. Those reports of that virus that caused people to die from a bite have now entered the states, which only heightened my stress. Every day they ramp up more and more. My head tells me to go help people in need of medical attention but my heart is keeping my feet right where they are. 

“Hey kiddo.” Shane had entered the kitchen as I looked at the reports on the computer. I scoff at the nickname. 

“Shane, I am twenty-seven so you can stow away that kid crap.” 

“You will always be my- a kid to me.” I hear the hesitation and cringe.

“Yeah yeah, well I think having a full-time career and doing taxes has earned me the title so I would appreciate it if you stopped using it.” I got up and poured myself a drink to emphasize that I wasn’t that sixteen-year-old anymore. I sigh and stare down into the crystal shot glass and amber liquid that hopefully would distract me a little. “Shane…I never got to thank you for helping Dad…so, thank you.” He puts his hand on my shoulder. 

“Of course, I would do anything for my- my best friend’s family, hell you are family.” There was that cringe-worthy hesitation again.

================================================

It was three weeks in and things were getting scary. They had canceled Carl’s school, and unessential businesses were closing. The signs said they would open again when the cure to the mysterious disease would come out. Still no sign of my Dad waking up. I tried to focus on Carl so as not to have him worried. Key word: try. 

“So what is your favorite comic book? I can voice the characters like I used to do.” I was sitting on his bed smiling at him while he sat on the floor.

“Y/n, what if Dad doesn't wake up?” He asked while flipping through his comic book to try to distance himself from his very own question. I take the comic book so I can garner his full attention. 

“Dad is going to wake up, okay? Because he’s Dad and would do anything to come back to us. He is fighting to get back and he will.” He just hugs me. 

“It’s going to be okay Carl, now choose your book.” He happily chooses his favorite and hands it to me. Maybe this will help me too.

================================================

Only hospitals were open now. The TV only runs emergency broadcasting on where to go if your city needs it. I entered the hospital, heading to check on my Dad. Every nurse and doctor was busy and looked stressed. The ER was completely full- some people held their necks or arms, blood seeping through whatever they had used to bandage it. Again, my head told me to do my job, but I just walked to his door. He still looked the same. “Dad, things are not good. So many people are dying and getting hurt. I have never seen this as a doctor or in general. So I need you to wake up and come back to us. I need you.” I grabbed his cold hand and my locket at the same time. “I love you, Dad.” I got up and needed some air. As I walk out my phone rings.  

“Hello?”

“Y/n!” It was Becca.

“Becca what's wrong!?” 

“The dead- they woke up.” She said so calmly which told me she wasn't joking.

“Becca, what are you talking about? The dead?” Was it that virus she was talking about?

“You have to kill the brain to kill them.”

“Becca you aren’t making any sense!” I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

“I'm happy you're with your family, I now regret not making my own. Hey when you finally get with someone, can you name your kid after me? That way I can keep living in some way.” At the end of her sentence, I could hear some screams and moaning in the background.

“Becca!?”

“Rember, kill the brain to kill them. I love you Y/n. Goodbye.” She hangs up.

“Becca! Becca!” She was gone. I tried to call her again but all I got was a busy signal.

“Fuck!” 

“What are you still doing here!?” A nurse runs up to me asking frantically.

“I'm visiting my Dad.”

“Visting hours are over at four p.m. now due to the sickness going around, so go home.” I then notice blood dripping down her arm.

“You're bleeding, I can get someone for you.” I turn to get help, but she pulls me back.

“Nothing can help me now.” What the hell does that mean? I thought, confused. “Go home to your family, your dad will be fine.” I am practically pushed out the door.

================================================

The next day Hell broke out. My mom packed just in case we had to leave but we couldn't- Dad was still sleeping. The TV had stopped working because the power had gone out two hours ago. I then see Shane’s car pull up.

“Okay, it’s time to GO!” He shouted out and the three of us were confused.

“Shane, what is happening out there?” My mom asked.

“The… I'll explain later, but right now we need to go!” He starts to grab our stuff and brings it to the car.

“What about Rick?” He stops and has to look down. 

“I'm so sorry he’s… dead.” I grab my keys and head to the door. 

“Y/n where are you going?!” He screamed at me.

“To get my dad.” 

“I'm sorry, Y/n, he is dead.” 

“Then I’ll see him for myself.” I turn but before I can turn the doorknob I’m knocked out.

“You’ll thank me when you see.” That’s the last thing I hear as everything goes black, not fully knowing what the new world would bring.

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Chapter 2 ---- >

[completely-real-and-normal-human]

an untitled magnus archives fic

the document this fic was in was just called ‘an indulgence in these troubling times’ and like yeah. sums it up really.

this fic isn’t really part of a wider au, i just threw one of the scrunklies from my brain into tma and wrote down what happened. i think it’s set somewhere in season 2 but i cannot be sure!

basic synopsis: spiral train.

my first fanfic on tumblr so pls be nice!!

tw: mentions of transphobia, spiral-typical body horror

[CLICK]

OLLIE A tape recorder? Seriously? I mean, I knew you folks were old-fashioned, but...

ARCHIVIST (mildly irritated) We've made several attempts to record to digital software, but it seems to disagree with most of the statements. This is the next best thing.

OLLIE Y'know what? I like it. Very retro. It kind of fits with this place.

ARCHIVIST Well, quite. (pause) If you'd like to begin?

OLLIE Sure. Do I, like, introduce myself, or...

ARCHIVIST Yes, just say your name and what your statement is regarding.

OLLIE Okay, uh, my name is Ollie Maverick, and this is regarding the disappearance of my coworker Grant Lewis due to an unexplained train in my workplace.

ARCHIVIST An... unexplained train?

OLLIE Well, it wasn't supposed to be there, and I sure as hell never got any sort of explanation for it.

ARCHIVIST R-right, well... (clears throat) Statement recorded direct from subject eighth of March 2017. Statement begins.

In your own time.

OLLIE (STATEMENT) Working in security was only ever okay, to be honest. The work's all right, apart from the night shifts — those really messed up my sleep schedule. I was working the night shift at a London train station when this happened. I know that's very vague, but I don't think I can name the station here, so you'll have to bear with me on that. We didn't exactly part on the best of terms, and I'd like to avoid a lawsuit at all costs. Anyway, like I said, I worked in security, and it was one of my least favorite jobs. Not the worst, but it's up there. Top four. Mostly because of Grant Lewis.

Not to speak ill of the dead or anything, but Grant was an asshole. He drank too much, chewed spearmint gum way too loudly, and he ran one of those alpha-male podcasts in his spare time. You know the ones — white guys in their twenties spend thirty minutes a week ramming their unsolicited opinions about women who won't date them and abortion and liberal politics down the throats of their listeners. That should tell you all you need to know about him. He was a prick, and he had it in for me from day one.

I was the only queer person on the security team, and I looked it. I came in the first day with a pronoun pin and a pink mullet and... well. He latched on to me, and I couldn't get rid of him. The worst part was, since we'd started working there at the same time and he kept making these awful jokes about me, to me, everyone else assumed we were friends. No one else could stand him, so we got lumped together the whole time on shifts. I spent hours with him in the control room, patrolling the station, even on my lunch break a few times when I came across him accidentally in a café. Every time, I'd have to listen to this — endless stream of unfunny jokes about my gender identity and my sex life. And, of course, those controversial opinions he aired on that podcast. He was infuriating, and he wouldn't go away.

But however much I hated Grant, I still don’t think he deserved what happened to him. Officially he's just disappeared, but I don't think anyone believes that now. I really, really don't want to know if he's still alive.

It all happened about a month ago. I was working the night shift from 11PM to 7AM with three other people — Allison Bates, Fred Landy and, of course, Grant. (long, irritated sigh) I... wasn't in the best of moods, to be frank. I'd spent the whole day dreading this, and to begin with it was exactly the kind of awful I'd expected. It was a Sunday, so the trains kept running until 2AM. The first hour or so was in the control room with Allison and Fred, who spent most of that time loudly flirting with each other. It was... very uncomfortable to watch, so I volunteered to go help Grant keep an eye on the platforms. It would have been well past midnight by this stage, coming up to 1AM, and he was out making sure the drunks lurching off the trains from holiday parties didn't get too rowdy.

There were four platforms in that station, grouped in pairs, and he was looking after platforms one and two. So, I headed off to look after platforms three and four, because I didn't feel like dealing with his bullshit. The steady flow of commuters was starting to peter out, and those that were drunk were harmlessly so. It looked like it might be shaping up to be a fairly quiet night. But I only got around forty minutes of relative peace before my radio crackled. Grant was apparently coming to join me, as Allison was covering platforms one and two. I had an idea that she'd probably sent him, as Grant had no idea how to be around any female-presenting people without getting really creepy. I may have mentioned he was a complete asshole, so I didn't really blame her, but I wasn't happy about it.

Grant showed up and we began patrolling the platforms and the small shop and cafe area together. He talked too much and chewed gum loudly, and I tried to ignore him as best I could and focus on the job. The last train rolled in around 2AM, and once the final passengers had stumbled out into the night we went to lock up.

It was then that we heard it. As we were walking back to the control room, the tannoy system crackled into life.

'The train now approaching Platform Four is not intended for passenger use. Customers are advised not to interact with the train, or indeed acknowledge it, in the interest of health and safety. Under no circumstances attempt to board the train now approaching Platform Four.

Thank you.'

It didn't sound like the usual train announcements. Those were an automated vaguely female voice, distant and slightly robotic. This voice was a garbled, distorted mess that I could barely understand, and it cut off with a screech of static that made my head ring. Grant and I stood there in confusion as the echo of that sharp static bounced off the walls, warping into something like a faint, mocking laugh.

I've not painted a great picture of Grant here, I know, but he was at least a fairly competent security guard. While I was still reeling from the announcement, he managed to get out his radio and make contact with Fred and Allison in the control room. They'd heard it too, and they were going to head towards the room that the tannoy operated out of, to see if it had been hijacked. Grant said we'd go take a look at Platform Four, to see if there was anything we needed to deal with.

It took us about two minutes to get there, and it felt like the echo of the tannoy announcement still hadn't died away. The air seemed different — heavier, maybe, and it smelled a little bitter. It made me slightly nauseous. Grant didn't seem to notice; he just started checking around the platform for anything suspicious. I was going to join him when there was a sharp, screeching whistle, like an old steam train, and I realised that I was smelling smoke.

It filled the platform as the train chugged into view, curling around everything and shimmering with colours that I — can't describe. The cloying, bitter smell of the smoke grew stronger and I could see Grant choking on it, tears streaming down his face but I breathed it in and it was... (panicked, breathy laugh) ..intoxicating. The train itself was an old steam train, bright purple and gold, with no driver that I could see. It slowed to a stop and the door to the first carriage swung open right in front of me. Mocking. Beckoning. (another laugh) It seemed the most natural thing in the world to just... step in.

Inside was a narrow corridor, carpeted in that same rich, wine-toned purple. The doors of the seating compartments faced me, and each had gauzy purple curtains pulled across the windows. I started down the corridor, and noticed a figure sitting inside one of the compartments. I couldn't make out much through the curtains, but they had long hair that seemed to be moving of its own accord, and….. their hands were... wrong.

I don't think I was entirely... myself, at that point. (shaky breath) I reached for the handle, and suddenly Grant rammed into me from behind, sending me sprawling onto the floor. He was pinning me down, talking fast and terrified, saying we had to get out, had to get help. I could see the long-haired figure in the compartment behind him slowly rising to their feet, rising and rising far beyond the proportions of a normal human body, limbs bending oddly in ways that hurt to look at. I screamed for Grant to run, but it was too late.

The door of the compartment opened with a creak, and... it wasn't a person. I don't know what the hell that thing was, but it was not a person. The hair was blond, and twisted and curled in on itself like a nest of snakes. Its eyes were hard to look at. B-but its hands... they were long, and the fingers had too many joints and they were sharp, and it looked at Grant and he started screaming, and it started laughing. That sound, it... it made my mind sting.

He tried to run, then. Got to the door that should have led back to the platform, but it was different now, smaller. Painted yellow. He opened it to show another long corridor, this time lined with mirrors and twisting wallpaper that hurt my eyes, and the monster-thing just... pushed him in. (pause) I... really hope he's dead. I really do. The alternative is just... well.

I scrambled to my feet and backed away as the thing turned to me with this... self-satisfied grin on its impossible face. Like it had just had a good meal.

Go if you like, it said. You'll be back. You won't be able to help it.

It began to laugh again as I began to run.

I don't know how long I ran. The carriage never seemed to end, and every door I opened led either to a set of seats or to another twisting corridor. Eventually, think I just... gave up. Lay on the floor and waited to dissolve into an impossibility.

I woke up lying on Platform Four with Fred leaning over me asking panicked questions while Allison was calling the police. I couldn't focus on any of what Fred was saying. My head was spinning. I... wasn't really aware of much until the police arrived. They asked me where Grant was. I said I didn't know. I was too rattled to come up with any sort of lie, so I just... told them what happened. (quiet laugh) I'm not really sure what the official proceedings were, but they didn't want to know. One of the officers dropped me home and I just went straight to bed. Thankfully my partner Rory was out on his own night shift at the time, so I didn't have to explain anything just yet. I slept like the dead until about four o'clock the next day, and the first thing I did when I woke up was send in my resignation.

I tried to... well, not forget about it, but to... put it at the back of my mind. I had no backup plan for a job, and Rory could only cover the rent alone for so long. I had to tell him what happened, obviously. I don't know if he fully believes me, but he hasn't said anything. He knows I saw something that really scared me, and he knows that that's why I quit my job. He's sticking with me, though.

Last week, I managed to get an interview for another security job in the Foundling Museum. And when I went to catch the train to get there, well.. I'm sure you can guess what happened. The smoke, this time, it... it was so hard not to get on that train. It felt... right. It was all I could do to walk away.

That blond monster-thing is following me, too.

It doesn't look as, as wrong as it did in the train, but I know exactly what it is. I see it pretty much everywhere I go. It catches my eye and winks at me, and I just about throw up with fear. Rory thinks they're panic attacks. He's trying to get me to see a doctor, or a therapist or something. He's probably right, but I wanted to come here first. I thought you... might be able to help.

ARCHIVIST (pause; a few abortive attempts to speak) Statement, eh... statement ends. I — I think I recognise this, ah... blond monster-thing you've mentioned. Did it... have you approached it? Talked to it?

OLLIE (incredulous) No!

ARCHIVIST Good. It... it calls itself Michael. I don't know exactly what it is, or what it wants, but it enjoys. toying with people. Doesn't seem to have any real purpose other than... spreading misery and madness.

OLLIE W-well, I... (clears throat) What do I do?

ARCHIVIST I'm afraid I... don't really know. (noises of panic and indignation from Ollie) I mean, I can tell you to avoid any suspicious doors, but I... have a feeling you could have come to that conclusion yourself.

OLLIE Great. Great. I knew this would be a waste of my goddamn time. Is that seriously all you've got for me? Avoid suspicious doors?

ARCHIVIST I'm sorry, I —

OLLIE (overlapping) Don't even —

[DOOR OPENS]

ELIAS Sorry Jon, am I interrupting?

ARCHIVIST Oh, Elias! Um... no, I, I think we're just about done here. R-right?

OLLIE Sure. We're done.

ELIAS Is everything quite all right?

OLLIE Apparently, you people are perfectly happy to take my statement, but you can't actually help me with my fucking eldritch stalker.

ELIAS Ah, yes. I can see how that might be... upsetting.

OLLIE (barely controlled rage) Can you, now?

ELIAS I believe I can. (pause) I'm Elias Bouchard, head of the Magnus Institute. And you are?

OLLIE Ollie. Ollie Maverick.

ELIAS Well, Mr. —

OLLIE (overlapping) Mx.

ELIAS Oh, my apologies. Well, Mx. Maverick, while I don't really know much about your situation specifically, I've found that our Institute is quite good at deterring any, ah, supernatural harassment of our employees. For the most part. And I believe you're in the market for a new iob?

OLLIE Uh. I mean….. yes, but how did you —?

ELIAS I was waiting outside for Jon to finish up, and I couldn't help overhearing. Interested?

OLLIE I... don't know that I could do much here. I don't know anything about ghosts, or - whatever it is you do...

ARCHIVIST I — Ollie, I really wouldn't —

ELIAS (overlapping) I'm sure you'll pick it up very fast. Should we discuss this in my office?

OLLIE Um... sure. May as well.

ELIAS Lovely. Oh, and Jon?

ARCHIVIST I — yes?

ELIAS Basira’s just got back. I believe you wanted to talk to her?

ARCHIVIST Oh, uh... okay, I'll — I'll go do that, I suppose.

ELIAS Right. Follow me, Mx. Maverick.

[FOOTSTEPS; DOOR SHUTS]

ARCHIVIST (sigh) Damn.

[CLICK]

[CLICK]

ARCHIVIST Well, that was... (sigh) ...anyway. Another person trapped in the archives. Better than being trapped in a corridor hellscape or an endless train carriage, I suppose. (pause)

Though... would they have been trapped? The way they described the train, and especially that smoke... what did they call it? Intoxicating.

They're clearly very scared, and I can't say I blame them, but I have to wonder if what I'm seeing here is... the birth of a new avatar. With Michael shepherding them to their new domain.

In terms of follow-up (sigh) I have been able to confirm that a Grant Lewis was filed as missing on the third of February this year. However, I was not able to find anything else about the case or the circumstances of his disappearance. The police don't seem to have done anything, and it looks as if this Grant didn't have any friends or family to make a fuss about it. I talked it over with Basira, and she agrees with me that it probably comes under Section 31. Obviously, this makes it difficult to get any real evidence for this statement, but I'm inclined to believe it anyway.

What I don't understand is why Elias would offer Ollie a job. They've made it clear that they need it, but I hardly think it's out of the kindness of his heart. (quiet, tired laugh) He's probably got some secret, evil plan for them. Some way to cripple the Spiral, perhaps. Or maybe he just wants to inflict a new and interesting kind of trauma.

Either way, I think I'll be keeping a close eye on Ollie Maverick.

End recording.

[CLICK]

[CLICK]

[SOUNDS OF SHUFFLING PAPER AND DRAWERS — A FILING CABINET? — OPENING AND SHUTTING. A DOOR OPENS.]

TIM Oh, uh — sorry, this area of the archives isn't open to the public.

OLLIE Yeah, I — I work here.

TIM In the Archives?

OLLIE Yeah, it’s my first day. My name's Ollie Maverick.

TIM Um... Tim Stoker. (pause) Sorry, what are your pronouns?

OLLIE (pleasantly surprised) They/them. You?

TIM He/him. (pause) So... you don't exactly look like the academic type.

OLLIE Says the person wearing a Hawaiian shirt to work.

TIM (laughs) No, I meant... y'know, people in this profession don't tend to be quite so buff. We're all skinny little nerds.

OLLIE Ah yes, my perfectly chiseled physique. I can see why you'd be confused. (Tim snorts) My last job was as a security guard, so...

TIM Sounds interesting.

OLLIE Well, it... didn't end well. I actually came to make a statement about it yesterday, and then your boss — Elias, I think his name was — offered me a job. For some reason.

TIM What?

OLLIE I know, right? I mean, I know jack shit about academia, but I did English in college and that was apparently good enough for him. I got the feeling that you're a little pressed for job applications.

TIM Yeah, well... I just hope you know what you're getting into.

OLLIE Oh?

TIM This place is... wrong. In a lot of ways.

OLLIE (jokingly) What, you've come across a lot of ghosts and ghoulies?

TIM I'm serious. It does things to you.

OLLIE Such as?

TIM It... won't let you quit. You can try it, but — you won't be able to.

OLLIE That all?

TIM (sigh) You'll find out soon enough, I guess. You're stuck here now.

OLLIE (pause) You're not just — messing with me?

TIM No.

OLLIE Well... fuck. (resigned sigh; pause) Out of the frying pan, into the fire. Assuming this even works.

TIM Assuming what works?

OLLIE It... doesn't matter. I guess we'll see.

TIM I guess we will.

[SILENCE]

OLLIE Hey, has — has that been running this whole time?

TIM What?

OLLIE That recorder. Did you bring it in here?

TIM Oh, for fuck's sake —

[CLICK]

[mydarlingdahlia]

An update on where I’ve been.

Warning: mentions of topics that could be a trigger warning for some. reader discretion is advised.

A/N: if you don’t want to read any of that stuff, basically, I’m okay. I’m alive.

As I’m writing this post, the whole stalker situation has blown over, for now…but I didn’t think it would be resolved as quickly as it did.

It turns out that the guy who was stalking me turned out to be one of my coworkers. Evidently, a guy who worked under me. (I’m not going to say his name, as to respect his privacy, even though he doesn’t deserve it.)

As he stated, as he was being dragged off of my mother in law’s property screaming his head off, it had started off as a crush, and that he “didn’t mean to hurt me”. Hate to break it to you, but attempting to stab me and giving me multiple bruises and cuts isn’t exactly not hurting me.

I’m okay, no fatal injuries were inflicted.

But basically, I was peacefully sleeping in my mother in law’s house, as I announced when I was going on my semi-hiatus. I was feeling restless, so I went up go get a snack from the kitchen, but I noticed Snoopy, one of my beagles, was acting strangely.

I assumed it was nothing, and let him walk down with me to the kitchen. But as soon as we got downstairs, he started growling. Like, he did not sound like a one year old beagle. It scared me even. Again, I brushed it off, until he started barking loudly at the pantry.

Long story short, the guy was hiding in the pantry waiting for me to come down. He claimed he knew whenever I came down for a late night snack, because he had apparently had been watching me. For months. Yeah.

He jumped out, knife in hand, and wrestled me to the ground while trying to stab me. He didn’t sink the knife in too far, but I did get a few cuts. I was able to disarm him and get the knife away, and my mother in law had come downstairs after hearing the noise combined with my dog’s barking.

After that, she tackled him and had to tase him and held him down while my father in law called 911.

I still don't know how he was able to disarm the alarm system and break into the house.

I’d say about ten minutes later the cops showed up. They escorted him out of the house and put him in the police car before he could do anything else. I was called to the station a little later to do some questioning.

After they were done questioning me, they told me what he had originally planned to do. (Surprisingly, he had admitted to everything) I had to vomit after what they’d told me he said.

Apparently, this all started a whole year ago, when he first started to work under me at my job. (He's been fired, don't worry) I was unaware, of course. He said he'd been fixated on me from the moment he saw me walk in, and he "had to have me". (I know, this sounds like a fic I'd write. But seriously, this shit happened.)

It had started out "simple". You know, just finding out my entire schedule, stalking my posts, taking pictures of me when I wasn't looking, you know, the good stuff. (This is sarcasm. Don't bitch and moan about it.)

Apparently, by the second month, he claimed he knew everything about me! He even knew that I (at the time) had a girlfriend. He assumed our relationship would burn out, because he was jealous of her and "wanted me all to himself". Well, that clearly didn't happen.

When he heard of our engagement in the summer, he was pissed. (Allegedly) That's when he started to stalk Mia.

He found out everything about her that he could. Her address, her workplace, where she went to university, most of her family members, friends, and that she has a hearing impairment. And that she's basically mute.

I don't know what he would've done with that last bit of info if this had all been discovered a bit too late, but I can think of a few examples that make me sick to my stomach.

After all this happened, he had apparently been working up the courage to ask me out. After he got rid of Mia, of course. (Again. Sarcasm. This is how I cope with traumatic events.)

More than half of his phone storage was just of me. Pictures, documents detailing horrible things he'd do if "the time came", screenshots of some of the platforms where I post, and some of my favorite things, which he planned to "lure me in" with.

He planned to essentially (R-word) me, and get me (with his child) so I "couldn't leave him". He also planned to (unalive) Mia, so he could "get her out of the way of his true love". I don't know what he planned to do to her after he (unalived) her, but I can gurantee that it would not have been good.

He did get me something for Christmas, actually. He uhh...he got me a s3x toy. And he mailed it to me. (Or delivered it himself, I don't know which.)

I assumed it must've been a mistake, because there was no indication that it was mine, or even for me, so I assumed that UPS or something had the wrong address. So I threw it away and basically said, "Oh well, guess someone's boyfriend/girlfriend will have one less present this year." He didn’t appreciate that.

He was mad because he knew I wasn’t using the toy he got me, because he’d been watching me when I was going solo a few times. He was disappointed because his gift wasn’t there. Not that I wanted it, anyway…

The creepy thing about it though, was the letter that was attached to it. Basically, in summary, it said: "I miss you so much, my one true love, we'll be together soon."

I thought the person who mailed it to me might've had a long distance partner or something.

After Christmas, he'd calmed down for like a month, but at the beginning of February, he picked up again. He found out Mia's phone number from where she worked, and started to text and harass her. She hadn't told me, (I think she was scared to) so it all came as a surprise to me when he texted me eventually.

Basically, most, if not all, of the texts were basically him threatening and pressuring her to leave me or else "something bad would happen". He also sprinkled in a few "she's mine", "she doesn't want you", you know, the like.

After she'd blocked him, she hadn't told anyone about it.

So after he started to text me, she admitted to everything. I wasn't mad, of course. So, we contacted the police. I'll spare you the details.

I think I was more concerned for Mia than myself, even though his motto was basically "If I can't have her no one will". I think, at the time, she was in more danger than I was. Apparently, he somehow knew (Of course he fucking did) that I was going to my MIL's house.

A few hours later, he somehow managed to start texting Mia again, and he began to threaten me. Saying bs like "I'm gonna (R-word) you and your fiancée if you don't listen to me". I probably can't say much more without guidelines sniping me.

And then the rest of it happened. So, yeah. That's the end of it.

Thank you all (especially my mooties) for all of the support, and I'm (thankfully) okay now and (fortunately) fully intact.

Everything’s happened so fast…I know it probably seems fake to you guys, but I’m not in the mood for any snarky comments right now. Most of this happened literally the day after I received those messages.

Also, I might take down a few posts with pictures of myself soon. Just a heads up if you liked one and it suddenly disappears.

[nancypullen]

Weird Stuff

I spent a very long day at work today, nothing was just simple - everyone had an issue to be solved. That's fine, it happens. It isn't like that every day. People come to the library seeking answers and wanting help. I can't always give them the answers they want (no, we can't do your taxes for you, and no, I can't file your divorce papers either) and they're not always nice about it. Today a woman absolutely wore me out because I couldn't/wouldn't transfer the info from her old phone to her new phone. I told her gently several times that she'd be better off taking her phone to Verizon/AT&T/or whatever her carrier might be, and they'll gladly assist her. She wasn't having it. Turns out she has basically a burner phone from Walmart on a plan called StraightTalk. Then she told me that she didn't even have the new phone yet. What?!? She was so testy with me because I couldn't grant her request and she didn't even have the dang phone! Another guy needed help printing some mailing labels attached to an email he received. I printed his attachments and then he gave me hell because he thought they were too small. I printed them exactly as he received them! Note: they were perfectly-sized mailing labels, clearly legible. All day long it was just a parade of disgruntled patrons. That's not even my beef with the work day. Here's what I have a problem with - since my very first day at the library (a month ago!) I can count on one hand (maybe one and a half) the number of times I've heard a please or thank you. Not even kidding. Maybe it's my years in the south, where no one would dream of asking anything of anyone without a please and thankyousomuch, that makes it grate on me so. But I don't think that's it. Even in my airline years, from Alaska to South Florida, most folks used common courtesy and manners. Here in Denton, that's not a thing. I mentioned it to several coworkers and they all concurred. I suppose they're used to it, but I hope I never grow accustomed to it. Would you ever dream of walking up to anyone in a store, library, coffee shop, etc and barking out your demand before snatching it without a word and walking off? It's the darndest thing. I'm truly puzzled by it. When did that become okay? Am I old-fashioned to think that manners are important?

The silver lining to all of that is that I don't feel bad when I have to tell a rude person that I can't grant their request. It used to kill me to have to disappoint someone. The philosophy at the library is "get to the YES", meaning find a way to satisfy that patron. So I can't file your divorce papers, but here are some contacts for free legal advice. No, I can't fill out your tax forms but let me put you in touch with the AARP folks in Federalsburg who will do them for free. No, I can't tell you what that lump is (and please pull your shirt down) but here's the number for Public Health, let's get you an appointment. That sort of thing, all day long. I think most people think of libraries as lovely, quiet places where middle-aged women in cardigans point you toward the books you're looking for - that is not the public library of today. And that's okay, but please use your best manners! I'm begging you. PLEASE. <---See how easy that was? Okay, my ranting and whining is over. Surely tomorrow will be a delight, right? My schedule for Wednesday shows that I start my day with a couple hours of "circulation prep" which means pulling books to transfer to other branches, filling hold requests, emptying big plastic totes that come back to us from other branches and processing those materials - all blissfully tucked away from the ungrateful public. Perfect. Wherever you are and whatever you're doing, I hope it's satisfying for you. I hope it's more than just a paycheck (not that paychecks aren't important, after all they buy chocolate and feed the cats, right?). I hope that your soul feels satisfied at the end of the day. I used to leave the school library knowing that I'd helped some kids, perhaps saved them from a disastrous grade (here's how you cite a source), introduced them to a new author, or just let them hang out in a safe spot during a lonely lunch. That was a good feeling. I wish that for you. Honestly, I wish that for all of us. That's it from me. I'm off to bed. The mister is in Minneapolis visiting Matt for his birthday week (I want to be there!!) so it's just me and the cats. We watched a little murder on tv and had soup for dinner. Girl party! I've had a good soak in the tub and now it's time to snooze. I need my rest before getting pummeled by the public again. Until next time - stay safe, stay well. XOXO, Nancy

[inciting-chaos-series]

The Night Shift: Chapter Two

If you'd like to be tagged when new chapters are posted let me know!

-Ghostiewvlf

✦✦Update: Edited slightly :) -Ghostiewvlf

✦ The Night Shift Masterpost ✦

➢ Tag List: @valleys

➢Author: Ghostiewvlf & JTheGhost ➢ Rating: Mature ➢ Pairings: Corpse X reader | Corpse X y/n ➢ Themes: Slow Burn | Coworkers To Lovers | Angst | Holiday | Mutual Pining | Fluff | Smut? | Hurt/Comfort | Soulmates | Fake Relationships | Miscommunication | Forced Proximity | Found Family | ➢ Warnings: Crude Humor | Suicidal Jokes/Ideation | Drinking | Smoking |

➢Summary:

You work the night shift at a local dog kennel for boarding and daycare. You love the peace and quiet of the shift, but just when you get comfortable- a few break-ins happen around town, and upper management decides to place your quiet, brooding, shift lead on the schedule with you.

☽✧ Chapter Two: Hesitancy ✧☾

-Y/N POV-

The next few shifts with him were pretty uneventful. Logan sustained his normal, more closed off, demeanor- though it seemed he opened up a lot more when it was just the two of you and no other staff or customers. It was nice getting to know him on a level besides ‘young guy that happened to be in charge but never acted like it.’ 

“I never really wanted this position, you know.” He muttered softly.

“What?” You hadn't expected him to change the subject so quickly. You’d finished early tonight, on account of the small number of animals that were boarding along with the cold weather outside preventing longer playgroups for them. You'd just been joking around about a crazy customer that kept calling after hours. 

“Shift lead. I know no one here really sees me as a boss, I like it and all but… for what they’re expecting of me, vs what theyre paying me… its fucking ridiculous.” He laughed and scrolled through his Twitter feed on the work computer. 

“Isn't that how they always get you?” You laughed lightly. Neither the company, nor the industry itself, were known for the competitive pay or the proper treatment of staff. 

“Pretty much. I was just too desperate for any type of raise since I just lost my- roommate or whatever.” He rolled his eyes. “Shits fuckin difficult.” 

“I’m sorry man, did you wanna talk about it?” You offered softly, unsure of how to react to him willingly telling you all this.

“No- no, just- I don't know. I just don't want you to see me as this, like, hard ass or something you know? I hear the conversations behind closed doors.” He laughed. “Ever since I got ‘promoted’ everyone hates working with me. They think that either I’m a rat, or that I didn't deserve the position… It doesn't bother me too much but, I don't know- if we're gonna be working together almost every night, I just hope you don’t see me that way I suppose. It would make things easier.” 

“I don’t. I mean- it is strange suddenly like- working one-on-one with just your shift lead, but I don't know, I guess you and I have the same kind of work ethic so it kind of works out.” You chuckled and shrugged. 

“True.” He gave you a tired smile before his eyes widened a bit. “Shit I never paid up on that IOU huh?” He pulled out his phone and leaned back in the reception chair next to you. “How does pizza sound?” He raised an eyebrow and smiled a crooked grin. 

“You don't have to do that.” You laughed. “I was pretty used to working these shifts solo, so having you to help just makes it easier, you napping on the job didn't affect me much.” You nudged his chair lightly with your shoe, pushing it slightly.

“Whatever, I always keep my word, so I’m getting us pizza, it sounds fire right now.” He rolled his eyes and pushed you back before turning his attention to his phone again. “Pepperoni sound good?”  

“Sounds good to me.” You shrugged and smiled at him. 

---

Once the end of your shift rolled around, he clocked both of you out before waiting at the door while you gathered up your things. He flashed you a tired smile when you finally headed over to the door.

“You didn’t need to wait for me… you’re exhausted you should've headed out.” You stated as you both made your way out after locking up.

“It’s fuckin dark out here though… I mean- wasn't management's whole point of having two of us work so that we’re safe?” He teased in a soft mocking tone while he walked you over to your car. “Can’t let those hooligans get to us underpaid staff.”

“Yeah I suppose so…” You laughed and stopped at your car door, unlocking it and tossing your bag in. “Well, thank you anyways- you get home safe.” 

“You too, y/n.” He smiled and gave you a nod before hopping into his own car. This was such a new side of him to you. Night shifts were actually becoming fun like day shifts with Liz were before switching over. It was nice that you actually got to talk and be friendly. You were actually starting to look forward to working the next shift with Logan. 

-Logan’s POV- 

He sat and let his car warm up, keeping an eye on you to ensure your car started and you could be on your way home. Once you’d left the lot he let out a huff of breath he hadn't realized he’d been holding. He hadn’t exactly meant to reveal so much about himself, it just seemed to slip out so easily. He took his phone and connected it to the stereo before putting on one of his playlists and starting his own drive home. 

He had to admit to himself, working the later shifts with you had been much nicer than the day shifts. He was finding himself looking forward to them, even the days he pulled a double. You were a dedicated worker, and it was obvious that you showed up for much more than a paycheck, you really did care about the work you put in and the animal’s happiness. He respected it, though he found it a bit funny; you seemed to be on the same page as him when it came to certain policies or disliking the culture within the field- yet you never cut corners when it came to the important tasks or taking care of the animals. He understood now why management had been so lackluster about choosing him as shift lead- you had obviously been their first choice, given the extensive experience and expertise you had in the field, but since you were only part-time- they couldn’t give you the title of lead. He wondered if they had even approached you about it or not. 

Not that any of it mattered at all to him, afterall he was keeping you at an arm's-length from him. He didn’t need anyone new in his life, and judging on how similar you were to him, you’d be fast friends for sure. He didn’t need to see the disappointment grow in your face as you slowly got to know him, and he didn’t need to watch another person walk out of his life- after all, you were smart, and funny… and kind, you would quickly grow wise to what a degenerate he truly was. 

Once he got home he grabbed a snack before quickly retreating to his room. He still wasn’t fully able to exist comfortably in the living room or kitchen, even his bedroom it was difficult. There were far too many memories of when he wasn’t living alone that taunted him out there. Everywhere he looked in his apartment he seemed to be bombarded with flashbacks of her and the life they’d had together before she inevitably broke him.  

He collapsed in bed and started up a game on his console to relax. Just as he finished up his first match, he heard his phone buzz at his side. He felt a similar buzz in his chest in the hope that it was you, but that didn’t last as the Google Photos notification appeared on his screen. His gaze hardened as he checked the date while the application loaded. Just as he suspected, an old anniversary date. He swiped the app closed before the photos of some long buried memory could load and force it all back to the surface. He tossed the phone away and started another match, a new frustrated indignation brewing in him and souring his abnormally good mood. He didn’t want to drink again- he couldn’t come into work and have you seeing him hungover again, but the urge was strong from the bottle beside him on the nightstand.  

It wasn't until a quarter till 4am that it buzzed again, he paused the game and was ready to shut off the device when your name appeared on the screen. He instantly clicked it and was greeted with your familiar friendly tone in your texts. 

Y/n:

You make it home safe?

Logan:

Yeah like thirty minutes ago. Do you really drive that slow, granny?

Y/n:

I live far away and it’s foggy on the highway… ac-tu-ally 

Logan:

Whatever you need to tell yourself to rationalize it 😂

Glad you’re home safe. Get some rest lol 

He couldn’t help the full laugh as you sent back an angry grandma gif in response, nor could he help the slight dread he felt afterward in response. 

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[pupintransit]

We're at the end of Month 5™️ of the wait. In the same way that August was pretty dull all things considered, September was very much not.

While I still don't have a firm surgery date, on the morning I'm writing this draft I scheduled my pre-surgery consultation with Dr. Brassard. It's set for November 6! Which is yet more waiting but having a date to look forward to is going to make the lead up to it much easier to manage. I'll be taking lots of notes, and i'd be more than happy to share them with everyone after it's all over! I want my experience in getting gender affirming surgery something that i can record for people to reference, so that it can be of use to someone on a similar journey to mine.

Another milestone this month was the fundraiser I started. As you might well be sick of me talking about by now, I launched a GoFundMe at the beginning of this month. Currently it's sitting at $435, which is honestly not too shabby! This could easily be where it fizzles out, but even if I don't get any closer to the $5,000 goal i'm still incredibly grateful for what everyone has given. Most of the donations came from people I know personally, who chose to send what they could to help me with such an important. I'll never be able to fully express what that means to me.

Plus, $435 is in an of itself a tremendous help! That'll cover the lion's share of one the four plane tickets i'll need to purchase, so for that metric alone the campaign has been a great success.

Now, something that comes with the territory of sharing around a fundraiser for a very major and famously queer surgery is that your friends and family are inevitably going to find out. For the more part the response has been overwhelming positive. Old college friends and old coworkers of mine - folks i hadn't seen in years - sent me lovely messages of support and affirmation. A few even donated to the campaign! It was honestly hard to take in right at first, and i still don't fully know how to articulate the joy i feel in that.

Now, all of this seems like pretty excellent news so far sooooo why am i using the header image i am? Well this is the part where the stress comes in. Earlier i said that a lot of folks found out i was transgender and pursuing gender affirming surgery via the campaign i linked to. I figured it was best to let my parents and in-laws know ahead of time, since i didn't want them taken off gaurd. My in-laws were terrific about it. My own parents?

Ehmmmm not so much.

Mom had a very difficult time with the news. I'm not going to get into specific details but, while i haven't been written out of the proverbial will, she's very much against me doing this and will be "praying" that something changes my mind or cancels the surgery. I think (i hope) with time she comes around on it and be more supportive of me, but i can't be sure of that. Truthfully i also can't be too upset at her reaction. This is a major change in one of her children, so it's unreasonable to think she wouldn't have a emotional reaction to it.

I'm a little more concerned about my father. He did not take me being gay well at all. I remember specifically he called my husband my "friend" (complete with quotation marks) for the first few months of our relationship, so i can't imagine he'd take me being transgender or getting a vaginoplasty well either. What isn't helping my nerves is that he plays Ben Shapiro and Matt Walsh in their living room as though they were day time talk shows. I'm not being hyperbolic when i say that Shapiro, Walsh, and their ilk want to do trans folks like me harm. Talking with him about this is neither something i'm looking forward to nor have the slightest desire to bring up with him.... but since my mother has almost certainly already told him this is almost certainly going to be inevitable.

My parents don't have to understand why i'm doing this and what it means to me. They just have to accept it as a reality of my life, and respect that it's something that will make my life happier. I want them to know that i've put thought and care into this choice, and just how many professionals i've debriefed with to be sure of my choice, and that my relationship with my husband will withstand the change to my body. If they can't accept it, they don't have to be a part of my life.

Of course, it's much easier to say that about my parents than to believe it.

Anyway i have an appointment with my therapist on friday so he and i will have a lot to talk about.

[allthebestscreennamesaregone63]

RANT POST. LONG RANT POST.

So, I don't really need the subreddit thread to tell me I'm probably the asshole on this one, but this guy at work is TESTING me.

We'll call him Dude.

Dude probably has ADHD or autism or both. He definitely is undersocialized. I TRIED to keep that in mind.

Dude is usually the janitor, but we were short staffed in the stock room yesterday, so we ended up working a shift together.

And y'all-

He would put things where they clearly did NOT go, and then started to argue with me when I actually know wtf I'm doing, when he didn't straight up ignore me.

Then, we have a million boxes to sort through, stacked on pallets. Every time he opened a box, he'd loudly announce what was inside it. Every. Fucking. Time. And then, he mostly left the boxes for me to sort through, before deciding I wasn't doing it right or whatever, and forcibly taking over.

So, by the time I've been on shift for two hours, I am gotdamn DONE. So, I announce to the room at large so everyone knows where tf I went,

"I'm going on break." I go to grab my water.

"Yeah, go on break." -Dude (abrasive)

So, there I am nursing a screaming fucking headache in the breakroom (too soon for more ibuprofen) and I'm so close to just going home.

It was supposed to be my day off, anyway. Not MY fault that they forgot to schedule actual help.

So, anyway, I go back to the tiny ass stockroom. I was gone for fifteen fucking minutes. In that time, they managed to screw up the space so badly that it was five minutes later before I could do my goddamn job.

I was relieved when it was time to throw trash in the compactor. Fucker is noisy as shit, can't hear Dude being a dick over it. So, there I am, throwing away twenty or so big bags of trash in the compactor. Finally get the inefficient fuckwad to actually do its job, but the needle on the guage went into the yellow warning bit.

Uh oh.

"Hey [MOD], when did they take out the compacted trash last?"

"Not too long ago, why?"

"The gauge is in the yellow."

"What does that mean?"

Tf you think it means?! Get the trash picked up, bitch, quickly!

So, I get the trash squared away, and the freaking truck came. We have 5 pallets already, we're getting 9, and we have space for a total of maybe 16. Its gonna be a tight fit.

Dude fucked up on wrapping a gaylord. Then, he saved two empty pallets instead of one, like we usually do. Not two minutes after I tell Dude we don't need it, motherfucking MOD goes and tells him to grab another empty pallet.

Then, the truck driver who brought his own shrinkwrap, asked if I knew where it went. Fuckers moved it without telling either of us. So, when Dude picks it back up, I tell him,

"That belongs to the truck driver, don't move it."

Dude fucking ignores me.

I repeat myself.

He says, "I know!"

"If you know so much, why are you moving it?" I am so done with this fucker at this point.

"I'm not moving it." (Aggressively rude). He sets it down. I turn to my coworker who saw this all go down, with a "can you believe this guy?" Look.

She makes a shooing motion with her hand. Now, im looking at her like she's lost her damn mind.

"Move. I need to get by you."

Then, [MOD] says we don't have room for the gaylords where they usually go. She tells the guy to throw them on top of the pallets. The, uh, seven foot tall pallets we have to move almost immediately.

So I suggest that we put them against a different wall instead. Its what we usually do.

[MOD]: we can't mess with this guy, we'll fix it later, he's a bit crabby.

I literally was trying to make his job easier, but ok.

So, I leave early, by like, an hour. When I get home, my Dad flat out accused me of being lazy.

In other words, fuckers KEEP walking all over me, and men (and some women) are fucking trash.

[tavarillasgalen]

All the times I had wanted to call it off with that guy but didn't because I had wanted to see if we could work through things (but really, I should have just called it off):

- When he said he was anti-abortion.

- That first makeout session.... when he stuck his tongue in my ear and then flipped me over to be on top of me and just plunged his tongue down my throat... I wanted to end it right then and there. I literally thought to myself "what the fuck is going on" and "oh... this is why you do things with someone before getting into a relationship with them"

- Right after that first makeout session, when I asked him if we were exclusive, and well, first he took that to mean me asking for a relationship and second, when he said, "I set a strict rule for myself to not have sex with more that one person at a time"... I lost a lot of respect for him in that moment.

- Our date after that, when he was acting all relationship-y, even after saying it was way too fast. I was just so confused.

- Our last date before he went on his trip. The vibes were just. Off. On both ends, I think. When his verbiage changed from "I'll teach you to ski" to "are you going to learn?" When he knew I was freezing at the football game but didn't even put his arm around me. When he opened my door after dropping me off at home and seemed reluctant to hug or kiss me. When he texted me after asking if I wanted to come over the next day, I wanted to tell him, no, I don't think this is working. But instead, I said okay because maybe it was just an off day.

- When he wasn't really texting me and kept misinterpreting the things I was trying to say while on his trip.

- When he didn't plan a date for when he came back like he said he would.

- When he brushed off my discomfort with my coworkers making sexual comments as "your family's views on these things are pretty drastic".

- When he said he was at a wedding, and i was like, oh, you're at a wedding? And he was like, "oh, yeah, musta forgot to mention it, my brother is getting married this week". Alarm bells went off because maybe he "forgot" because he was talking to other girls and just didn't realize he didn't tell me. And even if he wasn't, he told me all these things he had scheduled that month... except for that? No.

- When he had been back for a week and had still made zero effort to even hang out, let alone plan a date like he said he would.

I didn't want him anyway. I just wanted the idea of him.

[never-not-ever]

Work Memories

I lean against the ledge of my bathroom sink, cross my ankles and close my eyes and I'm transported back to my job. It's 10:30pm and we're all near the end of our shift. Most of the kids are in their rooms. Maybe one or two are in the hall, coming up to get a phone to call home or to just say goodnight to us. I close my eyes and lean against my bathroom sink and it's like I'm leaning against the back counter at the nurses station. I can easily see down both halls, eyes on the unit.

One of my coworkers is printing the new checks sheet for the overnight shift. Another counselor at a computer doing the last of their notes. There's a couple of my coworkers at the desk so I go in the back and chat with the nurses.

10:50pm and some of the night crew start to trickle in. "You're still here?" was something I heard often because when I came in at 7am they were leaving their shift going home for the day. My shift often didn't end til 11:30pm so I'd see them again later that night. There was this one night counselor who'd always give me a hug, I loved her. We never worked together but we always chatted at the end of her shift or mine.

I close my eyes and think of a different part of the day. I'm starting the beginning of my shift and I tap my badge at the door to the unit. I pass by the med window and round the corner to the nurses station. It's either 7am and everyone's still asleep and I'm greeted by the night crew or it's 3pm and the day shift are behind the desk eagerly awaiting our arrival so they can go home. Counselors and patients say my name glad to see me or glad I'm working that night.

I can hear one of the charge nurses say "Oh good, I'm so glad you're here tonight! Can you fill out the counselor schedule for me?". I go around to my coworkers asking who wants what block. Oftentimes I'd text the people on doubles giving them first choice.

I loved my job. I loved being at work. It was like my second home. I hated seeing my kids in pain, tormented by their illnesses. I'd skip my breaks to make sure other counselors took theirs or to help out in the dining room, wherever I was needed. I'd clock out and come back onto the unit to go check in with one of my patients before I left if my schedule didn't give me any free time during my shift.

I started my job on my 30th birthday, May 9th.

May 31st

One of my patients yesterday told me I was doing a great job and I know she actually meant it. She’s a nursing student and so sweet. She was one of the first patients whose name I remembered just because she was so nice to me. Her compliment really meant a lot to me and I feel like I’m going to remember her for the rest of my career and I truly mean that.

I still remember her name.

June 2nd

There was a patient earlier who saw I was doing snack and was like “you’re with with us, yay” and that was the best feeling.

Last night some MHC who was from a different floor said "I wouldn’t have thought you were new”.

June 30th

"___ I missed you!!” From a patient the second I walked into work even though I was here last night.

Then all the “___ you’re doing group/meals, yay, we love ___”. My heart...

July 7th

In other news my supervisor pulled me aside the other day and I was like “uh oh” and he laughed and said “don’t uh oh me”. Typically they wait a little longer before they have new hires train newer hires but I guess I’m doing so well they’re going to have me help train some of the new co-op kids coming in.

I'm going to stop now. I don't want to look too cocky or conceited.

I was held up so high, I used to be great They used to cheer when they saw my face Now, I fear I have fallen from grace

Lyrics from Taylor's song Castles Crumbling hit too close to home. I was great. I was amazing.

Power went to my head, and I couldn't stop Ones I loved tried to help, so I ran them off And here I sit alone, behind walls of regret Falling down like promises that I never kept

All that power did go to my head. I worked too much. I started to get burnt out. But I didn't stop.

I don't know how it could've ended this way People look at me like I'm a monster Now they're screaming at the palace front gates, used to chant my name Now they're screaming that they hate me

Except I do know how it ended that way. It was all my fault and I didn't know how to keep boundaries. I can only imagine what my coworkers said about me. The charge nurse who was always so happy to work with me "I can't believe that...". My overnight friend who used to always give hugs, I can just see her open mouthed when she learned what happened. My supervisor training the new hires and when he gets to the boundaries powerpoint using me as an example, "I just lost one of my best lead counselors, amazing at her job, but crossed boundaries with a patient".

I'm not looking for pity and please, please no hate. I just needed to get this out there. I was amazing until I wasn't. All those good memories from my old job haunt me more than the bad ones.

A year later and this loss (albeit my fault) still destroys me and fills me with so much self hatred that I never knew was possible to have. I know it's in the past and I should just move on. Believe me if it was that easy I would. But I can't. Each day that goes by gets closer and closer to the anniversary of my last day at work. Then to relive the horrible week that followed. I really do need to stop.

[screechingtriumphtiger]

Wild as Her

I took my eyes off the road for an instant, just to look at her. She was beautiful. And she had no idea. The coastline flying by out the window behind her was the perfect backdrop. Her hair danced around her face in the wind. Her eyes flashed in the sun. She was a wild one. And I loved her.

My eyes drifted back to the road as my thoughts drifted back to the night we met...

*

It was another busy night behind the bar. Girls were ordering cosmos and lemon drops, while their men downed Coors by the bottle. When the orders finally slowed, I looked up to get my bearings.

There she was. Across the room. I had never seen her before. She was dancing with her friends. It was hypnotic, they way she moved. She danced like no one was watching, and she was good.

My coworker Will must have seen me looking, because he chuckled. "Take a shine to Cheyenne, did ya?" I blushed and looked down at the bar, wiping up a spill that wasn't there. "Be careful Corey, she can't be tamed, that one." I kept swabbing that spot on the bar, but I looked back up at her. Cheyenne, I thought. Why would anyone want to tame her?

The rest of the night was a blur, but I looked for her at every lull. And at every lull, she was still there. All hips and fire. Untamed. Beautiful.

When things finally slowed and our bouncer hollered "Last call!" I looked up one more time, hoping to catch a parting glance. She was gone. I sighed. It stung more than I cared to admit.

"Hi." A soft, melodic voice startled me out of my reverie. I dropped the glass I was polishing. It shattered as it hit the ground. Smooth Corey. Real smooth. It was her! Cheyenne!

"Hi," I croaked, my throat suddenly parched. Be cool, be cool! "Can I get you anything for cast lall?"

She smiled. "You mean last call?"

Facepalm. I smiled, even though I was internally kicking myself. "That's what I said."

She laughed, and I knew the melody would drift through my dreams. "I think tonight..." her eyes drifted over the lines of bottles behind me before coming back to mine. "I'll just do a whiskey, neat. Whatever's in the well."

I winced. Our well whiskey wasn't great. "That's gonna burn like fire," I said.

She winked at me. "I like fire."

*

My eyes opened slowly. It was still dark out. The clock on my nightstand flashed 4:43. The night before was a blur. I tried to piece together my memories. Cheyenne. Dancing. Last call. I didn't want her to drink alone, so I took a shot with her. Then another one. And another. She had leaned across the bar to whisper in my ear...

I shot up out of bed as the pieces fell into place. She had come home with me. I looked down at my empty mattress. Someone had definitely spent the night. Or most of it. When had she left? I puzzled. WHY had she left? The other half of my comforter was all bunched up. The extra pillow had a dip in the middle, where someone's head had been. And in that dip was a note. See you tonight. ❤C

A huge smile broke across my face. I wasn't scheduled to work tonight, but I would be there.

*

I agonized over what time to get to the bar. Should I get there early and potentially wait all night? I thought. Would that make me look overly eager? Or should I get there right at last call to try to take her home again? But would that send the wrong message? Ultimately, I got there right as the sun was setting, about halfway through the night. I walked in and scanned the dance floor, but I guess it was still too early for dancing, because it was mostly empty. The bar, however, was hopping, so I made my way over. I grabbed a stool at the end and ordered a beer from Will, who sauntered over to me grinning like the cat that ate the canary. "How was your night last night, buddy?" he drawled.

"Fine," I smiled. The details were still a little hazy, but I had a feeling it had been a very good night. "Uneventful."

"Bullshit."

I smiled and shrugged. Then I brought my brows together and leaned in over the bar. "She left super early," I confided. "Like, before the sun rose."

"Awww, man. I'm sorry, brother. But I did warn you. She's a wild one, not prone to sticking around or settling down." He shrugged and straightened up. "At least, that's what I've heard."

I frowned, but didn't say anything. Girls were more than a little complex. And why would she leave that note? I wondered.

"Well," Will slapped the bar. "That beer's on me, to help nurse your broken heart. But the next one's on you. Holler when you're ready for it." He walked back down the bar to help another customer, leaving me to my tangled thoughts.

*

I was on beer number three, watching folks dance when someone plopped onto the stool next to me and asked, "What do you say? Wanna put them to shame?"

I stiffened. I would know that voice anywhere. I looked over. Cheyenne! She was smiling up at me. "Well?" But she didn't wait for my answer. She pulled the beer out of my hand and set it down on the bar. Then she grabbed my other hand and pulled me onto the dance floor.

"I, uh..." I stumbled over the words. "I don't know if I can put anyone to shame out here. This isn't exactly my element." I could only hope I didn't look as nervous as I felt.

"Oh honey, that's okay. I just want to have another good night." She winked at me, then placed my hands on her hips, and circled hers around my neck, like we were at a high school dance.

When my heart rate finally slowed down I said, "I missed you this morning. Thought maybe last night had been a dream."

She laughed--God, I loved that sound. "Was it a good dream?"

"The best."

She leaned in and kissed me on the cheek. I knew I was grinning like a fool, but I didn't care. We stood there and swayed until I lost track of songs. Until the bouncer hollered out, "Last call!" And even then we stayed locked together.

When they finally kicked us out of the bar, we left holding hands. I saw Will giving me a thumbs up out of the corner of my eye. We meandered through the parking lot to my truck.

"So..." I started.

"So...?" she asked.

"Do you wanna--" I don't know where I was going, but before I could utter another syllable, she put a finger on my lips to stop me.

"Corey, there's something you should know about me," she said. "I'm not looking for the white picket fence sort of life. I don't want to settle down. I don't want to stop living. There's so much more out there that I want to do, want to see, and I don't want to lead you on if that's not the life you're looking--"

This time I put my finger on her lips. I looked into her deep brown eyes and could have sworn I saw the highway unwind before us.

All I said was, "Would you like some company?"

*

I blinked. Just like that, I was back in my truck, Cheyenne next to me. Wild. Free. The ocean breeze drifting through the car brought her to life in a way nothing else could. As she looked back out the window toward the coast, I heard her singing along to my beat up radio. Then the breeze turned into a gust that carried the song away.

I took my right hand off the wheel to rest on her knee. She looked back at me and smiled, placing her left hand over mine. I loved the way that the gold band sparkled in the sun. I thought a little diamond would be nice, but she was adamant: no diamonds.

I grinned. This amazing woman was mine. I squeezed her knee as I kept driving down the coast. We didn't have a destination, because wherever we are, wherever we go, that's where she calls home.

[marigoldenchrys]

the british-pharmacist guy

I'm here again to post about a dream of mine. This one's an old one, from a few months ago. It'll be pretty rough since I no longer remember every detail of it but I'll try my best.

Let's call him, Hide. He is my actual work-crush and yes, I'm still crushing on him. (weakbitch) But anyway, it started last March when our schedule got changed from 4pm-1am to 7pm-4am. At first, I thought I was fond of him because he plays drums and it seems that I really get attracted to people who play any musical instruments, may it be guitar, piano, drum or whatever. I thought I only wanted to be good friends, like isn't it cool to have a guy friend, like you're really really friends with him? Hide is a cool guy, for me, although he doesn't get dumb jokes right away, he's still cool. He's not a British man but he sure does sound like one whenever he speaks English, and yes, he's not a native English speaker. That accent of his got me coz he really sounds good and I just go melt listening to him lol.

Hide is career-oriented and has such huge dreams and I liked that about him. He wants to get out of poverty and experience luxury. (I mean, who doesn't?) But his vision of his future is far from mine, although I've also thought about it but the older I get, I just want to live in a very secluded place where I'm only surrounded by beautiful mountains, trees, flowers, and lovely animals. Cottage core, huh? Lol. While Hide, wants to live in a skyscraper. I want that too but... ah whatever.

Anyway, I got to know him a little bit because we both have the same schedule, we're both in one team and we both have the same time for lunch breaks! Yey. So yeah, we go on lunch together, talk a bit about work and people from work, gossiping haha! And going off work, we kind of walk on the same path so, more talking and sharing stuff about each other's lives. I found out that he has graduated college already, he's a future pharmacist! Haha. During those moments, I realized that it felt so comfortable with him and that I'm learning a lot and the way he thinks really amazes me. I wanted to keep in touch with him, I wanted to always know what he thinks about this and that. Until all the signs of having a crush showed up one by one and I haven't stopped myself from crushing him since March. Until one afternoon, here's the dream y'all have been waiting for ~!

Once again, y'all know dreams are weird and it's just like random stuff happening all at the same time with no meaning at all.

I found myself in a hospital, and there's like a mental context that the reason why I'm there with Hide, Anna (another coworker of mine whose preggy irl), and some of my coworkers that I do not remember the faces, was because we needed to get some type of access from the hospitals pharmacy or where they kept the medicines and all that. Knowing that Hide is a pharmacist, we all looked at him and were like,

"Um, Hide, since you're a pharmacist, why don't you get us access?"

He didn't hesitate and went his way. It's weird because it's as if we're all trying our best not to get busted. For what? Why were we even there? Did we need something for the preggy Anna? I guess so.

He got us access and we all went into this room with all sorts of medicines. Hide seems to know what to get so he did all the work and we're all just roaming around. The room was really big.

And then the next thing I know, it's already evening and we were outside, at the sidewalk, away from the hospital and we're all talking. Here's the craziest part!!! Hide...

Hide just suddenly walked up to me and leaned his face to my face, I thought he was gonna whisper something on my ear but on my lips?!? Like whaaat? He whispered something but not on my ear but on my lips! So he whispered and kissed me gently? And he's smirking after what he'd done? JAIL JAIL JAIL Haaaaaa

***

And then I woke up.

That was really crazy dude. I mean, when I woke up from that dream I immediately touched my lips like, why did it feel real? Like something really landed on my lips. That just fueled my delusions.

[starisenby]

VENT BELOW THE CUT

So uh yeah it really started around 5 I'd say but I doubt he actually was intentionally being bad but he'd actively wake me and my sister up at like 3 maybe 4 am and I was in kindergarten at the time and my sister is a year and a half older then me so she was in 1st or 2nd grade, now it was bad and he genuinely was trying to be nice but it took a turn for the worst when I was around I'd say 9 when this motherfucker CHEATED ON MY MOM WHO ONLY EVER DID HER BEST AND HAS BEEN THE BEST MOM I COULD ASK FOR WITH A COWORKER OF HIS, and she (my mom) found out about this and they argued and got divorced with split custody which fine but the worst part is that they'd argue at 2, 3 maybe 4 am. And so a little while afterwards he got a new girlfriend guess who it fucking was....

THE GIRL HE CHEATED ON MY MOM WITH. Now she's genuinely a great step-mom but still dude... things only got worse from there the thing is part of the split custody is that every day of every other week is me and my sister would go to his house from 3:30 - 6:30 and he'd just let me and my sister starve there I guess, he'd not tell us where food was or what food was there but just let us "figure it out™" and we didn't eat real dinner if your curious we ate snack food.

Now this next end has to get some context my step-mom had kids young her kids then had kids young leaving me and my sister as "aunts"(yuck) as kids....

So the oldest of my step-moms kids is my kinda step-sister more like aunt and she has five kids the oldest of them is about my age, yeah awkward.... he's very clearly favored by my dad I mean I'm not surprised my sister was his favorite beforehand she had the same interest in hockey after all, now adding on to this is that he'll let my step-nephew more like step-brother get a pass on stuff but as soon as I do it, I must be burned alive.... so yeah November 28th 2021 we had a HUGE argument that still sticks to me, wanna know what started it I had a stomachache. Yeah fucking seriously. Also something I forgot to mention is that every other weekend me and my sister would stay at my dad's. And the argument blew up and had my dad pretty much said "Just go to your mom's" now the thing is I wanted to make sure if he was for real and yes he was and then I texted my mom.... so when she got there I was in the garage ready to leave and so he said and I quote "what if I die tomorrow?" Yeah that stuck with me for a while, now you'd expect him to apologize within the next week nope. December 20th is when he "apologized" and said "can you start going over here again"...

Now next takes place in August 2021 I originally planned to go to a concert with my dad and sister but then got anxious and paranoid causing me to cancel and he basically said "your anxiety is fake shut up" because yes I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder and OCD so like bro....

And then because this guy is just a genuine asshole, remember that bit about favoritism yeah guess who feels like they'll never be good enough and that if I was born a boy he'd like me even a little more and that if i was to kill myself he'd never even care, which then led me to want to self-harm that's right me... also the guy just constantly gaslights me so that's always fun, also I have those run-of-the-mill intrusive thoughts to just jump out windows or of roofs so yay...

Oh and i absolutely hate my body because I was AFAB and born with boobs that'd end up being rather round so as an enby it's great tbh

And let's not forget that he also called a video game character in his hockey game the f slur cause he lost..

Oh and the first end I'm pretty sure is what led to my god awful sleeping schedule that is borderline sleep deprivation