#covid brainfog
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I don’t want a career and I hate working
#adhd burnout#autistic burnout#long covid#covid brainfog#tfw u don’t qualify for disability cus you don’t ‘look’ ok I’m gonna start biting and barking bro#one day my doc threatened to take me off my adhd meds cus I took a shower before my appointment CHRIST#sorry for enjoying a bath bomb holy shit???#your wife has adhd too bitch I’m gonna eat you 😭
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sofa away fro me
#mine#covid brainfog#how tf did i speed 25k words the second time i went through this (apil nanno)#im so eepy
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It sucks to be a fan of a very popular thing that many people are wrong about when you have a hard time putting ur thoughts into words consistently so you can't even argue ur interpretation effectively
#ive always struggled with this somewhat a la autism#but i think there might be a post covid brainfog component now too#i was worried i was imagining it but ive been noticing myself being a bit foggy and forgetful for a couple months now#so.#baz talks
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grghrbrbargegrb i miss being able to absorb and process narratives so fucking much dude.
#squawks#b4 anyone says anything this is a long covid brainfog thing as far as i can tell#definitely other possible factors and stressors but just. i do not process emotional arcs very welll.?#i struggle to empathize and that's one thing. but i kinda struggle to conceptualize the dynamics of what is going on?#it is confusing. some bits of my own writing i don't even fully Get#and i need help to recognize it as meaningful
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last day before unemployment moodboard
#txt#screaming crying throwing up. i'm scared to not have a job but i need at least a month to just fucking. live#hoping to recover from my long covid bullshit. brainfog fatigue shortness of breath etc. i'm so sick of it#i have decent savings + a plan to get a more lowkey job and do art as a support but. ughhhhhhh#unemployed living with my parents i feel like a complete loserrrrrr that wasted his degree. all bc of fucking covid
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sometimes i think about how three years ago i wrote twenty thousand words of two people fucking in a bathtub but these days i can barely string three sentences together. i guess that's just covid innit
#idk if actually getting covid can account for the last year of brainfog or if it's simply down to isolation but like. oh man#i miss my brain before covid#abbey.txt
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my mum supports me in getting accessibility aids when i break down about it but the moment i'm not upset or in tears then it's what if people don't want to talk to you because you're in a wheelchair and what if they think you're fragile and i want you to make friends but this might not help and-
#IM SO TIRED#you know why i'm not making friends. you know why i'm struggling so much#because i cannot go anywhere. i can't go to meetings i can't go to events i can't go to anything because i'm tired and in pain#i'm hoping to go to a talk tomorrow but honestly i don't know if i'll be able to. but it's on disability so i wanna try#i'm getting my covid booster tomorrow and i'm going to ask the nurse about it#'but what if-' i am struggling to go to class i am struggling to go to work i had to stand up the other day and almost burst into tears#i still have to get to work later and i'm thinking it'll rise but my heart rate today has been 49-164. and that's lower than average but#my pots is just getting worse. the pain is getting bad again. my brainfog is extreme#i'm done trying to get better i'm done being told i don't have to use mobility aids because people will fix me. i just want to make friends
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Adhd hot housetour bitches
#Yes has looked competely fine here before and I'm not thus filthy and messy all the time but it takes a couple of less chaotic days#to look semi normal and clean#and a couple of less chaotic weeks for it to look completely fine again#which there haven't been in a while#but for now I've got so much more to do still besides cleaning up this space#This month is packed with birthdays internship duties and on top of that covid smacked me in the face making me very lethargic and brainfog#I feel like we should share our messy houses sometimes#I'm cleaning the worst of this right now#mine#adhd
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i love not knowing if i'll ever be healthy again i love all of the time i've used to move my body become nothing i love spending my adulthood wasting away year after year for various reasons baby!
#i know i'm being dramatic and privileged etc etc right now but i hate living like this#i probably had covid in the beginning of august and since then my heart and lungs have just been fucked#so now i'm probably looking at at least 2 years of long covid and maybe permanent neurological damage#could i be lucky and get better in few more months? maybe. do i believe that will happen? no. optimistically maybe next summer id be better#my symptoms are not that bad considering what i know other people have suffered but at the same time that makes it feel not real#otherwise i'm pretty much fine except i feel like fainting alot after standing up or excerting myself and anything beyond walking#spikes my hr to 160 and right now even laying down my hr is around 80. this comes with the associated shortness of breath etc#what fucks me up about this is that my normal hr is low with my rhr being under 50bpm and i'm physically active#so basically i've went from regular running and half marathons being no issue to not being able to jog 1km at the slowest pace possible#without spiking my hr to zone 4#so now with the recovery time of this being however long if properly ever i'll have to basically start all over again with everything#i biked to the grocery store yesterday and that took me out for the rest of the day because my heart rate just didn't go down afterwards#outwards i look fine and i wouldn't be as affected if sports and moving wasn't a part of my life and relationships but it is#i've read studies about recovery times and a lot of them don't feel applicable because the test groups are either very different from me#based on the baseline health info such as activity levels or they're elite atheletes which i am not#some have given me hope that keeping my hr under like 130 by doing activities like walking until maybe someday things get better works#but who knows and even if it does this will be yet another thing that takes the littlest bits of muscle tissue i have on me away once again#because besides deconditioning muscle loss is yet another symptom. so i will be even weaker than i am right now#i don't know how much of what i'm experiencing in terms of mental effects is from anxiety over my physical health and how much is brainfog#but we'll see i'll just have to start walking a lot every day and keep up with simple and slow strenght training so i'll want to die less#i don't think my family will ever properly understand because almost all of them are athletes and the one who isn't never does any excercis#so either i just look like i'm weak but i was always weak so it's not a big deal or my experience isn't really that important#this is so so so pathetic both my reaction and the issue but it's difficult to not feel this way especially with the uncertainty#shit talking
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seeing a lot of "death rates in male dominated jobs" statistics-posts lately and I just feel like no body gives a shit abt care jobs that are female dominated and often leave the women permanently disabled due to dealing with diseased peeople everyday + physically moving people around. there's a reason invalidity insurance is inafordable for care jobs, bc you WILL end up crippled sooner or later and insuranc knows this and doesn't want to pay or you
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hhhhhh brain-bad has been seeping back in lately, starting to suspect I might not have as few long-covid issues as previously assumed -_-
#keep being too brainfogged-I-think-is-what-is-going-on to focus in class and get the basic classwork done#and too head-empty (tired? apathetic? more brainfog?) to draw or talk to friends really#but! I do have a doctor's appointment for that + the chronic cough I've had later this week#and my mom has a lot of experience with her own and my little sibling's long-covid#so hopefully that will be able to help! :)#just me rambling#just complaining about stuff
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Ohlong covid…
#The brainfog is sobad brother#i cant even RMEMEBER IF I HAD COVID IN 2022 OR 2021 THATS HOW BAD IT IS 😭😭😭
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.
#crawling up from the depths of my covid brainfog to wrote more edancy siblings lore#can't wait to share this one aaaahhh#probably tomorrow i should sleep now
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the way that i cannot keep track of anyones url change. who are you all
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unfortunately I have tagged several of my fics as abandoned/unlikely to be finished
whether or not it is temporary remains to be seen - but treat it as if it's permanent since for all intents and purposes it sort of is right now
I didn't really want to do that honestly, because I do want to finish them - but having covid twice in one year as an already chronically ill person has... really, really drained me both physically and mentally and it's unfortunately going to take a while for me to really recover properly. I have zero energy for writing or really anything that requires much thinking, and probably won't for a while.
Sorry ya'll, wish I wasn't totally drained but covid fucked me up (again, lmao)
#dont think i forgot about you anon who sent me that ask abt springtraps kinks i WILL answer it it might just take a while#genuinely would rather have broken a bone than gotten covid it would have been less taxing on my existence#i was going to say 'would have rather gotten the flu' at first but ive never had the flu#and the one time i got a flu vaccine i genuinely thought i was going to die. so i dont do that anymore. because it was horrible.#and i like to not be dying#i got the brainfog kind of covid both times 0/10 would not recommend#ive said this same thing like probably 20 times now but i feel bad im so sorry dkfjhnh
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misc. galloway & ross sketches!
#my art#macbeth art#shakespeare art#macbeth#shakespeare#galloway#ross#gave ross freckles in 2018 and i havent looked back since#also aaaugh. i want to draw more but i got sick >:[#unstoppable force (desire to draw for fixation) vs immovable object (covid brainfog)#the plants bordering galloway's portrait are rosemary (rememberance) and basil (love/protection)
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