#cousin Michelle has a man as well

[thegetdownrebooter]

I don’t know or understand what Chris storer is trying to accomplish with her either.

I think it’s pretty clear that Chris storer didn’t expect people to ship Sydney with his self insert (because that is what carmy is at this point) so now he is working overtime to make sure her role is minimized, so people will eventually stop (his biggest wish) and now we are three seasons in, and we don’t know shit about Sheridan road, anything about her mom or if she has any friends at AT ALL outside of her co-workers.

The worst part is that she is the only woman on this show without a solid love interest and we all know why.

My biggest fear is her ending up alone while everybody else is paired up, so I hope they throw syd a bone and let her be happy with Luca.

By the time Carmy realizes he’s in love with Sydney, the decision will already be made for him. I think she’s gonna leave TB and eventually go to Copenhagen with Luca, to work at Noma.

Syd once said, “I would legit do anything to go to Noma” — that line always stuck out to me.

There’s a palpable spark between her and Luca, and I see that going somewhere far. I see the show ending with Syd leaving Carmy behind for good — accepting she’s in love with him but realizing she deserves better, which is what she finds in Luca.

Carmy likely winds up with Claire because he’s resigned to his fate. Being with her is better than being alone, especially after losing Sydney.

TB might survive or it might not, but I think Syd will move on regardless.

[belladonnaprice]

.

[whenmemorydies]

Chaos and Consistency

I've been thinking about why Carmy chose a career in fine dining in the first place. Obviously there are the reasons we're told in the show:

Cooking was a source of connection between Carmy and his family, particularly with his brother/surrogate father, Mikey (recall the first scene of 1x06 Ceres).

Carmy also knew that he wanted to be chef from a young age (recall 3x02 Next and the convo between Carmy and Chi Chi, and 3x06 Napkins and the convo between Tina and Mikey about Carmy's purpose).

Carmy's family is well connected in the restaurant industry: his parents owned their own restaurant (The Beef) and his cousin Michelle owns restaurants too (recall Michelle and Carmy's sidebar in 2x06 Fishes). Carmy is given the opportunity to work in these places and gain valuable experience that opens up doors for him to go onto work elsewhere in the industry.

In addition to the above, I think Carmy chose and stayed in professional kitchens as a response to the chaos he grew up in, which was largely the result of his absent father and abusive mother. I'll explain my reasoning for this conclusion below.

Chaos

The chaos that would have been present in Carmy's childhood is never as clearly illustrated in the show as it is in 2x06 Fishes. The emotional powder keg that is his mother, Donna Berzatto, propels the action in that episode, whether its via her constant yelling at the people around her, the repeated dinging of her kitchen timers or the multiple pots and trays of food she has going that simmer and bubble until everything boils over at the end of the episode with Donna purposely crashing her car through the family living room:

Its clear that in Donna's house, chaos reigned. She was erratic, unpredictable and inconsistent as a parent. She also nursed an alcohol addiction and left her children feeling afraid. Recall 1x08 Ice Chips and Natalie's disclosure to Donna about the former's fears for her unborn daughter:

Natalie: Mom, I don't want her scared like I was scared.

Donna: I scared you?

Natalie: You scared all of us.

While its indicated on the show that Carmy's father left the family when Carmy was young, its also implied that he too behaved erratically and suffered from multiple addictions. In 1x04 Dogs, Cicero tells Carmy that the last time he spoke with Carmy's father, they had fought about the latter's drug and alcohol use as well as gambling issues. Cicero also discloses to Carmy that his dad couldn't settle on a job and had a new career "every ten minutes."

Cicero's chat with Carmy along with what we know of Carmy's father from Mikey and Donna (i.e. that he abandoned his family leaving his eldest son to step into the trap role of "man of the house", that he was an unsupportive partner only being present for the birth of one of his three children - Carmen's - and while he was at the hospital, did everything BUT support his wife through her labour), paints a picture of a volatile and incredibly unreliable person.

Consistency in childhood

One of the most important things that caregivers can provide children is consistency in their parenting. This usually takes the form of regular routines for your child and as much predictability as possible in your reactions and behaviour.

Routines and predictability give children a sense of safety as they absorb the world around them. Consistent parenting gives kids the space to learn what to expect in any given situation, particularly in relation to cause and effect. It teaches them about limits: physical and behavioural, because kids can rely on their parents to model and guide them as to what is acceptable in both regards. Repetition through routine has a big role to play in children's learning (as kids - and adults alike - learn new skills through repetition). Importantly, the security that children feel due to consistent parenting also gives them the confidence to take risks and try new things. And novel experiences expand children's knowledge bases and skill sets.

Think about it: if you are in an unpredictable situation with lots of things changing or out of your control around you, would you feel comfortable doing something totally out of the box that you have no experience in? Probably not.

Where a child experiences parenting that is inconsistent or unpredictable, this has been found to lead to a number of different, harmful outcomes for that child, including but not limited to:

low self-confidence

anxiety

depression

attachment issues

emotional dysregulation

Its clear that the Berzatto kids grew up in a home where chaos and a fair measure of dysfunction dominated. Consistency was rare and when it did occur, it was likely to have involved the elder Berzatto children, Mikey and Natalie, stepping into provide that security for each other and their youngest sibling, Carmen.

Throughout The Bear, we've seen multiple examples of the impact of that chaos and dysfunction on Carmy as an adult. Those impacts include Carmy's various attempts at asserting control over his life (for example, his spiral in 1x07 The Review or his obsessive focus on perfection, most dramatically highlighted in season 3). Another example is the firm boundary he's able to set with his volatile mother. Of all three of Donna's kids, Carmy is the one who's maintained the widest distance from her: its been established by those working on the show that by the end of season 3, Carmy hasn't seen Donna since the events of 2x06 Fishes (which took place roughly 5-6 years ago).

Carmy is also the only Berzatto child whom we see clearly articulate that at least one of his parents was chaotic. He's also the first Berzatto child that we hear name the antidote to chaos: consistency. Recall the conversation between Carmy and Nat in 1x06 Ceres:

Natalie: Plus, we never spend any real time together. This place is eating you alive.

Carmen: You always blame this place.

Natalie: What do you mean?

Carmen: I mean, you blame the restaurant. Alright, you don't blame Mom. You don't blame Mikey.

Natalie: How can I not blame this place? I just cleaned up shot-out glass, and now, I'm covered in carbon. All of our time, money, work, gets sucked up into this place. The only thing we get back is chaos, resentment. Its bullshit.

Carmen: Sounds like Mom.

Natalie: I'm serious.

Carmen: I'm serious.

Natalie: I just want things to be calm. I just want things to be on solid ground. I want things to feel...

Carmen: Consistent.

Natalie: Yeah. Consistent.

Carmen: Yeah. That's totally reasonable.

While Natalie identifies The Beef as the source of the chaos that plagues her family, Carmy insists that that chaos rests at the feet of their mother, Donna. It is here in this conversation, that we can see a difference in approach between Carmy and Nat when it comes to relationships. Natalie is quicker to give her family members grace (recall her admission in 1x06 Ceres that she knew it was a bad idea to co-sign with Mikey for ownership of The Beef but did it anyway; also recall 3x08 Ice Chips and her reaching out to Donna to help her through labour, despite all of her trauma directly caused by her mother) while Carmy has shown that he will internalise sleights (real and perceived) and will cut people off as a result - though we know how deeply feeling the man is, I imagine the cutting off would be experienced as akin to dismemberment for him. Recall his monologue in 1x08 Braciole and his description of how Mikey made him feel as they grew apart:

Carmen: He stopped letting me into the restaurant, couple years ago. He just cut me off, cold. And that...that hurt, you know. And I think that just, that flicked a switch in me, where I was like, okay, fuck you, watch this. And because we had this connection through food, and he had made me feel so rejected, and lame, and shitty, and uncool, I made this plan where I was going to work in all the best restaurants in the world.

Also recall the entire walk-in blowout between Carmy and Richie in 2x10 The Bear after Richie compared Carmy to his mother, Donna (I'll just include an excerpt below because, honestly, I hate rewatching this fight):

Richie: Where were you when I fuckin' put your brother in the ground you selfish piece of shit?

Carmen: You know what? You're-you're obsessed with my family. That's what you are. You fuckin'...

Richie: I'm fucking obsessed with you.

Carmen: You're a fucking leech.

Richie: I'm obsessed with you.

Carmen: You fucking leech.

Richie: Yeah.

Carmen: I should've cut you out!

Richie: I fuckin' love you!

Carmen: I should've fuckin' cut you the fuck out!

Above: The line that, in my view, blew up Carmy and Richie's relationship at the end of season 2 and from which it still hasn't recovered by the end of season 3. Screenshot from 2x10 The Bear.

Despite Carmy and Nat's different approaches to their relationships, the conversation between them in 1x06 Ceres shows they do have something in common when it comes to responding to the chaos in their lives: a desire for consistency.

Striving for consistency as adults

Natalie and Carmy go about achieving their goal of consistency in different ways. Nat has sought it out and found it in her partner and father of her daughter, my beloved Pete. The man is the definition of an unproblematic king: see this post and this post by @thegirlwhowatchedeverything for the evidence). Natalie has also got a head for accounting and project management. Its hard to be good at that stuff without being consistent and diligent. She's actually a bit of a jack of all trades: she can lecture a plumber on how to fix a toilet (recall her phone call about The Beef's possessed toilet in 2x02 Pasta), run FOH for The Bear and interference with The Bear's main investor, Uncle Jimmy. For Natalie, consistency means making sure her home life is safe and secure. It means being practical and reliably available to check in and help others, even to her own detriment ("if someone feels sick, I start to feel sick").

In contrast, Carmy spends little to no time on building a secure home life for himself. When he does partner up, its with a woman wearing a bullet necklace, who talks about almost committing manslaughter at work and who mirrors his abusive mother. Carmy's home itself is pretty barren and he appears to be living out of boxes. He's still storing his books in piles on the floor by the time we hit the penultimate episode of the series thus far (3x09). Its also clearly established that Carmy is not practical (recall Sydney and Nat's joint observation in 2x01 Beef: "Your math is fucked" lmao), and he's often not reliable (recall episodes 2x03 through to 2x10 when he flakes on The Beef's renovation repeatedly).

The primary way Carmy has sought consistency in his life has been through his work as a chef.

In the course of researching and drafting You love taking care of people: Love in the Time of Late Stage Capitalism, it became very clear to me just how regimented the back of house of commercial kitchens aspires to be. The creation and implementation of the French Brigade system is one way that the restaurant industry tries to imbue order into a kitchen setting. The French became synonymous with fine dining and restaurants because, in large part, of their involvement in systematising the kitchen in order to scale service and increase the number of patrons that could be fed.

That systematisation and desire for order, consistency and control in restaurants is reiterated repeatedly in The Bear. Recall the following bits of dialogue from throughout the show:

1x02 Hands

Marcus: [cleaning BOH] Why am I using a toothbrush?

Carmen: Its about consistency and being consistent. Can't operate at a higher level without consistency.

1x08 Braciole

Carmen: And the more he wouldn't respond, and the more our relationship kind of strained, the deeper into this I went and the better I got. And the more people I cut out, the quieter my life got. And the routine of the kitchen was so consistent, and exacting, and busy, and hard, and alive, and I lost track of time and he died.

3x10 Forever

Will Guidara: I was just, like, immediately obsessed with the controlled chaos. Like, the orchestrated frenzy. [...] And then you get to, like, be the conductor of it all.

We also saw visuals throughout the show of the control asserted in restaurants, particularly in BOH. Recall Carmy scrubbing floors by hand, the cold sterility and precision in the Empire kitchen, and the well-oiled cleaning machine that is The Bear crew in 3x03 Doors:

Note how different the above restaurant kitchens are to the state of the kitchen in the Berzatto house - how orderly and clean. While I'm sure these kitchens can reach epic levels of mess when staff are in the middle of service, through his experiences as a chef Carmy would have seen time and time again a system - as fucked as it was - to get that mess under control. In the Berzatto house, there was no system - at least no reliable one - that could reign in the chaos left in the wake of Donna and her ex-partner.

We know Carmy came back to The Beef to try and fix his family, as he tells us in 1x08 Braciole. But what if Carmy has been trying to fix his family with every job he's taken as a chef? What if he is using - either consciously but more likely unconsciously - his experience in each kitchen he's been in as an opportunity to perform control and consistency in the way he wishes he was able to have done at home, with his mother and with Mikey?

Carmy may not be able to fix people, but he knows restaurants. He’s had experience in wrangling, to varying degrees, the chaos of a kitchen into some semblance of order. And if he can impose that order, that consistency in one context, maybe he can do it in another. What Carmy will need to learn is that consistency in terms of a product (e.g. a clean kitchen every night or immaculately plated dishes each service) and consistency in terms of relationships are two different things. You can strive for consistent products but destroy all your relationships in the pursuit of them. Conversely, if you strive for consistency in your relationships, you may not always make consistent products (and quite frankly, that's OK - is a perfectly plated agnolotti dish worth Carmy's relationship with Tina? Is driving Syd to a panic attack worth Carmy's pursuit of a star? I think not on both counts).

Consistency as peace: Sydney

The reason why Sydney makes Carmy better at his job is because unlike him, she is a chef who has practically mastered both forms of consistency. She understands what consistency of product means in the realm of the restaurant industry and can execute to that standard (she may not be as experienced as Carmy in this regard but she's more than capable).

Sydney is also incredibly adept at relationship-building and the consistency required for this. In regards to her relationships, Sydney is consistent to a fault, likely due to the fact that the parent who raised her for most of her life - Emmanuel Adamu - was also a consistent and loving father. He modelled steady, unwavering love for his daughter and Sydney exudes this in turn.

For me, the most clear manifestation of Sydney's consistent love and care is in how she mentors the staff at The Beef and The Bear. Unlike Carmy, she does not visit the trauma she has been subjected to (which we understand has largely occurred in kitchens through her work as a chef) on her peers. Sydney does not displace or blow her trauma through others. The one time she comes the closest to doing so is in 1x07 The Review. However, the experience is such a foul one for Sydney that she quits her job because of it (much to Carmy's dismay). And as we all know, she returns to The Beef and then goes onto run interference between Carmy and the rest of The Bear crew in season 3, protecting the crew so that don't get in Carmy's line of fire.

Above: Sydney physically and emotionally protecting Tina from Carmy's emotional dysregulation in 3x03 Doors.

Like Nat, Sydney is reliable and practical. Recall the below non-exhaustive list of examples:

how Sydney took control of lunch service at The Beef in 1x05 Sheridan after the restaurant loses power and gas (including by building an entire grill from found construction materials - what?!);

how Sydney single-handedly oversaw much of The Beef's transformation into The Bear in season 2 while Carmy was out numbing himself with Claire;

how after the birth of Nat's baby, Sydney makes a shit tonne of food for Nat and Pete, including Nat's favourite lasagne.

Above: Sydney and Tina building an outdoor kitchen in 1x05 Sheridan

Sydney is also able to establish firm boundaries with Carmy ("You are an excellent chef. You are also a piece of shit.", "If this is going to work the way that, I think, we both want it to work, we need to try to listen to each other.", "I'm not your fucking babysitter") and pushes Carmy to be consistent in his relationships. Recall 3x01 Tomorrow and her gentle insistence that he call Richie after their walk-in blow up.

Carmy recognises all of this pretty quickly with Sydney, making her his sous chef by the third episode of the series ("I will dial business. You are everything else.") and offering her part ownership of The Bear by 3x02 Next. Whether Syd is going to accept Carmy's offer is another question and one that I suspect is going to heavily depend on Carmy's ability to repair and practice loving consistency in his relationships next season.

I think key to this, is going to be a realisation on Carmy's part that he cannot treat consistency in relationships like he does consistency in the restaurant or creating a dish. He can't just "be square with everything [...] and everyone" or "make it good [by filtering] out the bad" like he described in 3x07 Legacy.

That description by Carmy of how he wants to be remembered - his legacy - still reads to me like the description of a product. That Carmy wants to be remembered for creating something panic-less and anxiety-free while giving little attention to how he might go about actually creating the thing in the first place: the consistent work that needs to be done in relationships to make sure that people aren't panicking and aren't anxious. Contrast this with Marcus' desire for his legacy:

Marcus: I kept my chin up. Listened and learned. I did honest work. Fun to be around. And an excellent emergency contact.

Marcus' legacy is all about relationships and process. He, like Sydney, knows that at the end of the day, the end product - his legacy - will not be a thing. It will be the sum total of everything: what he made through honest work but more importantly how he engaged with others: how he listened and learned, was fun to be around, and was reliable enough to be an excellent emergency contact. Key to all of this, is his consistency (which Marcus models from the first episode of The Bear and is probably why he is held so dear by Carmy as well). I’ve no doubt that Marcus’ consistency and how he treats people was modelled for him by his primary caregiver, his mother Angela Brooks. This is based on Marcus’ eulogy for Angela in 3x03 Doors.

Marcus: She loved everyone. I think you can tell 'cause there's so many people here. I always felt loved. It didn't matter what was going on or if I was in trouble or whatever. I knew she was listening. And she knew I was listening too.

This is essentially, the core of consistent parenting. Ensuring that a child feels loved, even when things are hard. Its also the core to consistent relationships throughout one's life. And it depends entirely on people and how we handle our connections to each other.

Indeed, what Carmy needs to realise could also be put another way, as it was by Chef Terry in 3x10 Forever:

Andrea Terry: I think what I've learned over the years in all the places I've worked, is people don't remember the food. [...] Its the people that they remember.

Tagging in case you're interested in more of my rambles but as always, I'm interested in chatting about this stuff with whoever wants to (tagged or not!):

@currymanganese @vacationship @thoughtfulchaos773 @moodyeucalyptus @fresaton @ciaomarie @hwere @tvfantic87 @freedelusionshere @mitocamdria @ambeauty @angelica4equity @anxietycroissant @turbulenthandholding @brokenwinebox @devisrina @alwaysrunningoutoftime

[fantasyandromancelover]

Spider-Man AU Act 2

Inspired by literally every movie and TV adaption of Spider-Man there is, and in a case where there are not one but three main heroes.

Peter Parker/Spider-Man (Raimi's Version) - Alastor

Peter Parker/Spider-Man (Webb's Version) - Angel Dust

Peter Parker/Spider-Man (MCU Version) - Moxxie

Mary-Jane Watson - Charlie

Gwen Stacy - Vaggie

Michelle Jones - Millie

Harry Osborn - Blitzo

Ned Leeds - Fizzarolli

Uncle Ben and Aunt May - Alastor's parents

J Jonah Jameson - Husk

Norman Osborn/The Green Goblin - Adam

Dr. Curt Conners/The Lizard - Asmodeus

Dr. Otto Octavius/Doctor Octopus - Sir Pentious

Max Dillion/Electro - Travis

Adrian Toomes/The Vulture - Chazwick

Flash Thompson - Striker

John Jameson - Vortex

Liz Alan - Queen Bee

Aleksei Sytsevich/The Rhino - Valentino

Two years have passed, Alastor along with his cousin Angel have graduated from high school and are now attending college together. Their younger cousin Moxxie, is entering his senior year and is almost fully recovered from being paralyzed while on the verge of getting of an acting scholarship while Charlie, the secret love of Alastor's life is making it as a successful actress on Broadway and her best friend Vaggie has recovered as well from her coma. But on the downside, Angel who was Vaggie's boyfriend, chose to break up with her out of guilt, and because Alastor is now fighting crime alone as the Deer Demon, he finds himself constantly overworked, failing his classes, and becoming estranged from the people he loves. His friend Blitzo has become obsessed with killing the Deer Demon, still blaming him for his father's death and Charlie still has feelings for Alastor and feels that he's hiding something from her.

When Moxxie notices how stressed and overworked Alastor is, he begs him to let him become the Incredible Imp again but Alastor refuses, insisting that he will not lose another member of his family to crime. Still Moxxie feels useless and without a purpose, so Charlie invites him to join her theater trope which he accepts. There he's introduced to Charlie's handsome leading man Vortex, her best friend in the acting world Bee, and the lovely new-commer Millie whom Moxxie is instantly smitten with.

Later, Alastor's boss Husk, sympathizes with his home life and decides to give him an opportunity to boost his pay by choosing him to do the report on recently discovered scientist Dr. Dominick Pentious who has become the newest research developer for Blitzo's company. Alastor is thrilled, not only for the opportunity to make more money but because he knew Dr. Pentious as his instructor from science camp as a boy. Blitzo arranges for Alastor to meet him, his wife Cherri, and his assistant, a college professor Valentino before the presentation. Dr. Pentious still remembers Alastor and the two strike up a friendship, bonding over science and their respective dreams. Dr. Pentious's dream is his latest project, a device that can generate fusion power and will offer what he believes to be a more safe and pure form of electricity. Alastor is impressed but is skeptical of the machine, asking if Dr. Pentious has miscalculated which he assures him that he hasn't.

One day Vortex asks Charlie out, she likes him but isn’t sure about dating anyone because of her feelings for Alastor. She tells him she’ll think about it and later gives Alastor a ticket to her show, asking him to be there which he promises to do so. Unfortunately, on the night of the show, stopping a robbery prevents him from arriving at the theater in time and he misses her show. Alastor meets Charlie the theater and tries to give a valid excuse but she can tell he’s lying, which hurts her. She pleads with him to be honest with her but he can’t. She then angrily leaves with Vortex. Alastor goes home that night upset as the Demon Deer but suddenly his powers stop working.

Meanwhile, it turns out Valentino is secretly jealous of Dr. Pentious’s accomplishments and has changing the doctor’s notes, and sabotaging his work in order to steal it for himself. He’s also sniffing after one of his students, Vaggie, and harasses her. Charlie advises her to report his actions but Vaggie refuses because he has threatened to have her expelled from the university. Weeks pass, Charlie starts dating Vortex which causes Alastor to become depressed and Angel tries to see if he and Vaggie can be “just friends.” But while their love lives are a mess, Moxxie’s relationship with Millie flourishes. She goes with him to physical therapy and he works with her during rehearsal, and over time he learns that she used to be a fan of The Incredible Imp, because he made her feel like she could do anything. This makes Moxxie miss being a hero even more but being with Millie gives him purpose.

On the day of Dr. Pentious’s demonstration of his invention, he wears an exo-skeleton suit with the D.N.A of a snake in order to withstand the extreme heat and keep the machine under control. Alastor, Angel, and Blitzo attend the demonstration and at first, all seems to go well. However, suddenly the machine has a power spike due to Valentino’s tampering and it causes the fish ion to destabilize. Pentious refuses to shut the reactor down though which results in it going critical, killing Cherri, and fusing Pentious to his suit. As Deer Demon, Alastor shuts down the experiment and Angel catches Valentino fleeing the scene with some of the doctor’s notes. At the hospital, Pentious goes mad from the experience and slithers off into the shadows. Valentino finds him and convinces him to re-build the machine but only so Val can secretly take all the credit for himself. Dr. Pentious then renames himself Dr. Serpent and becomes a criminal, robbing banks for money. One robbery in particular almost leads to him killing Marie and Alastor unable to save her due to momentarily losing his powers, but luckily Moxxie trips him up and rescues her. Despite this, Alastor scolds Moxxie for risking his life again. But Moxxie retorts that he’s not as helpless as he thinks and that Alastor can’t keep doing this all on his own.

At a premiere party at the theater, Charlie becomes engaged to Vortex and Blitzo rants at Alastor in a drunken rage, accusing him of being a disloyal friend. Alastor suffers an emotional breakdown over his inability to balance his life, with the stress stripping him of his powers as a result. Unable to take it anymore, he quits being The Deer Demon, returns to his normal life, and attempts to reconcile with Charlie. As for Charlie herself, while her parents are thrilled with her decision to marry Vortex, her friends are not as supportive. Bee is angry and becomes distant, and Vaggie can’t help but be skeptical about the engagement. Asking Charlie how she really feels and if she really loves him. Charlie insists that she does but Bee angrily accuses her of only marrying him for publicity.

Vaggie voices her concerns to Angel who remarks that it’s probably none of their business. Vaggie then tells him that she just doesn’t want Charlie to make a mistake and throw away a chance at happiness, “Like some people.” Angel sees the allegory and tries to explain but they are interrupted by a jealous Valentino who attempts to get Angel to leave. Angel however stands firm and decides to do his own secret investigation on Valentino with Moxxie secretly helping him. They soon discover Valentino's plans of sabotaging Pentious's work.

One night, Alastor finally sees Charlie perform in her play much to her delight and afterward, he invites her up to the top of the church to witness a beautiful viewing of the city and they share a romantic slow dance which is witnessed by Dr. Serpent. Charlie realizes that she's still in love with Alastor and wants to be with him, but doesn't want to hurt Vortex. Alastor tries to confess his feelings for her but she becomes confused and leaves before he can, though she promises to talk to him later. As he walks home that night, he spots an apartment building on fire and learns that a little girl is trapped inside. Despite his loss of powers, he goes into the fire and successfully saves the girl but learns that one poor soul got trapped on the floor, perishing. This causes Alastor to feel guilty about his choice to quit.

Meanwhile, Blitzo who is still obsessed with getting revenge on the Deer Demon, is visited by Dr. Serpent. He demands that he give him tritium, threatening to kill if he refuses. Blitzo agrees under the condition that Dr. Serpent brings him the Deer Demon so he can kill him. He tells him to find the Deer Demon through Alastor but he also tells him not to hurt Alastor. Dr. Serpent agrees to the deal and before leaving to find Alastor, he builds an exo-skeleton for Valentino and charges him with guarding the reactor until he returns. Alastor eventually decides that his responsibility to the city are more important than his personal needs and tries to become the Deer Demon again but his powers still do not return. He goes to Angel and asks him to become the Spider Sinner again until he gets his powers back but Angel still refuses out of fear and guilt. Moxxie once again offers to return as the Incredible Imp but again Alastor refuses to let him, but he does apologize for snapping at him earlier and is glad that he still has a hero's spirit.

The next day, Bee visits Charlie and apologizes for her behavior. She reveals that she and Vortex used to be a couple and that she still loves him, but chooses to accept their engagement if Charlie and Vortex are truly in love. This makes Charlie's doubts about the engagement grow and she invites Alastor to meet her at the cafe to talk. She asks Alastor if he loves her, but having convinced himself that his responsibility as a hero makes it too dangerous for him to be with her, he tells her no. However Charlie can tell he's lying and instead of getting angry, she asks him to kiss her. He complies. But before their lips can touch, the cafe is ransacked by Dr. Serpent who kidnaps Charlie and threatens to harm her if Alastor doesn't find the Deer Demon. Seeing the woman he loves taken away from him and knowing that she needs him, Alastor's powers are restored and he once again becomes the Deer Demon.

He confronts Dr. Serpent at the clock tower and a fight breaks out. Eventually, they battle on a train which Dr. Serpent destroys the speed bar on the train, as it explodes on Alastor's mask making it blurry, he takes it off. He uses all his strength to stop the train from falling off the unfinished track and saves the people, passing out in the process. His identity is exposed but the people on the train are so grateful to him for saving their lives that they return his mask and vow to keep his identity as secret. Dr. Serpent returns, and ends up knocking Alastor unconscious and delivering him to Blitzo. After giving Dr. Serpent the tritium, Blitzo pulls out the knife and prepares to kill the Deer Demon. But when he unmasks him, he's shocked to discover that that Alastor is the Deer Demon. Alastor tells Blitzo the truth of what happened to his father Adam but Blitzo doesn't believe him. Still he reveals to him where Dr. Serpent is upon learning that he has Charlie.

The Deer Demon makes his way to Dr. Serpent's waterfront laboratory, with the doctor putting the finishing touches on his makeshift reactor. He finds Charlie chained up and attempts to rescue her discreetly, Dr. Serpent catches on and they fight once more. During the battle, the reactor turns on and Charlie is nearly sucked into the fusion but Alastor saves her in time. Valentino then attacks them both so Dr. Serpent can finish the machine. Soon the police and the media are drawn to the scene. The battle is televised and upon seeing Alastor and Charlie in danger, Moxxie becomes the Incredible Imp and goes to help them. Angel then sees a televised confrontation between Vaggie and Valentino, in which she finally stands up to him, prompting Angel to become the Spider Sinner again. He comes to Vaggie's aid and tells her to inform the police that everyone needs to be evacuated cause the machine has been re-built. The Spider Sinner and the Incredible Imp fight Valentino, allowing the Deer Demon to subdue Dr. Serpent. He reveals his identity and attempts to appeal to Dominick Pentious, pleading for him to stop the reactor. Valentino interjects, trying to manipulate Pentious once again but when Angel shows Pentious the evidence of Valentino's betrayal and how his sabotage pretty much caused Cherri's death, Pentious furiously kills Valentino. Still, Pentious is not ready to give up on his dream but Alastor manages to convince him to shut down the machine for the greater good.

With his sense of humanity restored, Dr. Pentious uses his strength to collapse the building and drowns the reactor at the cost of his own life. As the building falls apart, Charlie is nearly crushed by a falling beam but Alastor rushes to protect her, forgetting to put his mask back on. Charlie sees Alastor's face and finally knows the truth. Alastor confesses to Charlie that he loves her more than anything in the world but can't bear to let anything happen to her, so they can't be together as long as he is the Deer Demon. After that he returns her home and is later comforted by his cousins, causing him to admit that he really can't be a hero all on his own and that he needs them. They all agree to be a team again.

As for Blitzo, shocked by the trauma caused by revelation of Alastor's identity as The Deer Demon, has visions of his father Adam ordering him to avenge his death and leading him to a secret room containing all of his father's Dark Archangel equipment. He looks at the equipment and takes the serum his father created.

The next day Angel and Vaggie reconcile and resume their relationship, then attend Moxxie's debut performance with Alastor. There Moxxie and Millie perform a romantic love scene and have their first kiss. After the show, Vaggie and Angel go to Charlie and Vortex's engagement party but can't help noticing how troubled the bride to be looks. Charlie wanders off and overhears Vortex speaking with his agent about his decision to marry her. It is revealed that the proposal was indeed a publicity stunt that his manager pressured him into and that he's really in love with Bee. Learning this, Charlie releases Vortex from their engagement and urges him to be with Bee, which he thanks her for. Once she's alone, Angel privately converses with her, revealing to her that he's the Spider Sinner and that he broke up with Vaggie because he was afraid of something happening to her. But he also confesses that it was the worst decision he ever made because being without her only made him feel so alone and depressed, like he had nothing else in his life to make him happy. He tells her that Alastor is probably feeling the same way and that she shouldn't throw a way a chance at happiness like he almost did.

Inspired by this, Charlie leaves the party and runs into Alastor's arms. She tells Alastor that she wants to be with him no matter what and that they need each other. Alastor then realizes that he needs to be a hero not just for the city but for her and they share a passionate kiss. Suddenly a fire truck is heard, signaling danger. Charlie encourages Alastor to respond as the Deer Demon, and he goes off to save the day with the Spider Sinner and the Incredible Imp working alongside him.

[chicgeekgirl89]

I Won’t Say I’m in Love

Fandom: 911 Lone Star

Characters: Carlos Reyes, T.K. Strand, Michelle Blake, Adriana and Francesca

CW: Tequila and Drinking

Summary: 

“Seriously Carlitos?” Adriana says. “Have you seen your face lately?”

“My face?” Carlos asks.

Adriana rolls her eyes. “The last time you looked this besotted you were six years old and the Blakes had just brought home their new puppy.”

“I—what?”

“You spend all your free time with him. And when you finally deign to give us a couple hours, all you do is talk about him,” Francesca says.

“I do not!”

A fic in which Carlos Reyes cannot possibly be in love with T.K. Strand. 

Read on AO3

“No wait, put that back, use this one,” Carlos says, plucking the bottle from his sister’s fingers and handing her a different one instead.

“Um, what the hell? Why are you giving me the shitty tequila?” Francesca asks incredulously.

“Yeah, what the hell? We don’t rate top shelf?” Adriana echoes as she dumps chips into a bowl.

“That bottle is for special occasions,” Carlos tells them, closing his liquor cabinet firmly. 

Francesca slaps a hand to her chest. “Are you telling me that hanging out with your favorite sister and cousin doesn’t rate as a special occasion?” 

“Oh it’s definitely special,” Carlos says, biting back a chuckle at the snark he’s about to unleash. “But considering that your goal is to outdrink each other in margs tonight, I think I’ll hold onto the good stuff.”

“I bet he lets T.K. drink the good stuff,” Adriana grumbles.

“Actually T.K. doesn’t drink,” Carlos says matter of factly, moving the bowl of chips from  the counter over to the table. 

“You mean he doesn’t drink tequila,” Francesca corrects.

Adriana snorts. “Lightweight.”

“No I mean he’s sober,” Carlos tells them. “He doesn’t drink at all.”

There’s silence, which is terrifying since usually the two of them never shut up, and Carlos snaps his head up looking around frantically for a tornado or a rabid mountain lion or a man with good morals and a steady job, whatever has made the girls go suddenly mute with horror. 

Instead of danger he finds both of them staring at him in shock. “Is he…is he okay?” Adriana asks quietly.

“Yes?” Carlos says in confusion. “Believe it or not some people choose not to drink themselves into oblivion on a regular basis.”

“Well then. Wow. He is a strong man,” Francesca says. 

Carlos’ mind immediately drifts to some very, very sexy things that happened mere hours ago and he smiles. “Yes, he is.”

Adriana and Francesca exchange a glance, but he ignores them, choosing to finish putting the final touches on their margaritas instead. 

He’s just adding decorative limes when the doorbell rings and Adriana runs to get it. “You are my favorite man in the entire universe!” she exclaims as she opens the door, startling the delivery driver on the other side.

He stares open mouthed at the beautiful, exuberant woman in front of him. “Th-thank you?” he stammers. “That’s um, $43.50.”

“Oh.” She turns back and purses her lips into a pout at Carlos. “I—“

“Conveniently forgot your wallet?” he asks, already rifling through his own. He hands over the cash along with a tip and thanks the man while Adriana whisks the bags away to the counter where she and Francesca start eagerly pulling out cartons.

“Wait! Get him back! This isn’t right!” Francesca calls just as Carlos bids the guy goodnight and closes the door.

“What’s wrong with it?” Carlos crosses the room and glances into the bags, not finding anything amiss. 

“There’s no Mongolian beef or scallion pancakes,” Adriana says, checking the labels again. “They gave us sesame chicken instead. And wonton soup.”

“Oh, no, that’s right,” Carlos says as he opens the cabinet to the left of the sink and grabs some plates.

“You always get Mongolian beef,” Francesca says in confusion. “Like, always.”

Carlos shrugs. “T.K. likes sesame chicken and wonton soup. It just sounded good tonight.”

There’s another brief silence full of loaded glances, which Carlos ignores. It’s bait. And he knows better than to take it. “I got extra egg rolls,” he says and that is enough to get them digging back through the bags again.

Carlos has a rule about eating on the couch, but Adriana and Francesca have never once followed it, so he doesn’t even bother wasting his breath reminding them as they settle into place in front of his TV. He does reach over and exaggeratedly put coasters underneath their glasses, sending them pointed looks, which they ignore as they chatter on about how their stocks are doing and what the Kardashians have been up to lately. The women in his life contain shocking multitudes. 

He pulls up Netflix as he takes a bit of chicken. They’ve chosen to watch a couple episodes of Great British Baking Show, one of the few things they can all agree on. 

“Why is Stranger Things in your recently watched?” Adriana asks. “That’s not your kind of show.”

“T.K. likes it. We’ve been watching it together. It’s fun,” Carlos says.

“Wow. Okay. You really are in love,” Francesca says with a laugh.

The words shoot an unexpected bolt of panic through Carlos’ chest and he almost chokes on the bite of rice and chicken in his mouth. “I’m not in love,” he says. “We’ve been together for like a month.”

“Seriously Carlitos?” Adriana says. “Have you seen your face lately?”

“My face?” Carlos asks.

  Adriana rolls her eyes. “The last time you looked this besotted you were six years old and the Blakes had just brought home their new puppy.”

“I—what?”

“You spend all your free time with him. And when you finally deign to give us a couple hours, all you do is talk about him,” Francesca says.

“I do not!”

“Carlos, I can tell you T.K.’s Chinese order, that he was on the track team in high school, that he once rescued a guy from the Chrysler building, hell I can tell you his shoe size,” Adriana says. “You’ve got his hair product in your bathroom, his vitamins on your counter…”

Carlos narrows his eyes. “How do you know I’ve got his hair products in my bathroom?”

Francesca shrugs. “Sometimes we snoop to see if you’ve got anything good in there.”

“You shouldn’t be snooping around in my bathroom!” he cries.

“Don’t change the subject,” Adriana chastises him.

Carlos takes a sip of his margarita. And then another. And then another. He’s not drunk enough for this. Not even close. He might need to go break out the expensive tequila after all. “We’re dating,” he finally says. “That’s all.”

“Okay,” Francesca scoffs.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Carlos asks.

“It means I believe that you believe that all you’re doing is dating.”

Carlos blinks a couple times. “That sentence doesn’t even make sense.”

“What she’s saying is that you’re delusional,” Adriana tells him. “You love this guy. Like love love him.”

“T.K. is…great,” Carlos says. “I mean, he’s better than great. He’s…” Words like “incredible,” “impressive,” and “amazing” all float through his mind, but none of them quite seem to be right. T.K.’s all of those things and more, he’s…

“The love of your life?” Francesca supplies the answer for him, amusement all over her face.

Carlos scowls at her. “Stop putting words in my mouth. And how would you know anyway? The two of you go through men at a rate previously unknown to humankind. Have you ever even been in love?”

“Nope,” Adriana says, popping the “p” and then using her chopsticks to pick up another bite.

“Hey! I was in love with Brandon Sanchez in tenth grade!” Francesca says, shoving her cousin with her foot. 

“Oh you were not. You just loved his abs.”

Francesca breaks into a dreamy smile. “He did have really great abs.” She sighs. “Okay, fine, I wasn’t in love. But that doesn’t mean I don’t know what it looks like. I’ve watched every episode of Grey’s Anatomy.”

“Look, admit it or not, it doesn’t matter,” Adriana tells him. “We’re happy that you’re finally happy. When you very stupidly married your fake wife, we weren’t sure you’d ever find your happy ending, but we’re glad you have.” She pauses. “In more ways than one I’d imagine.”

Carlos winces. “Could you not bring up Iris ever again? Thanks.”

He’s beyond grateful that she’s alive, but it’s ripped open some incredibly painful old wounds and he is doing his very best not to think about how it complicates his life in fun new and excruciating ways.

“Whatever hermano,” Francesca says around a mouthful of chow mein. “You want to be in denial about your feelings, that’s between you and T.K.”

“Did Carlos tell you that T.K.’s a male dancer?” Adriana asks, her eyes gleaming with mischief.

Francesca whips her head around to look at her brother accusingly. “Wait I thought you said he was a firefighter!” Light dawns in her eyes. “Ohhhhh. That kind of firefighter.”

“No, he’s an actual firefighter,” Carlos says, taking the last egg roll as punishment for their obnoxiousness. 

“Have you checked? Because if you yank on his pants and they come apart with velcro…”

“His turnouts are real,” Carlos tells them. “I work with him. I’ve seen him in action.”

“Oh yeah, I’m sure you’ve seen him in action a lot,” Adriana says with a wicked grin.

Francesca throws a pillow at her. “Perv. I don’t want to think about my brother’s sex life.”

The girls end up getting very drunk (as he knew they would) their margaritas becoming progressively less margarita and significantly more like large shots as the night goes on. They both end up passed out before midnight. He carries Francesca up to his spare room and tucks her in, but Adriana only rouses enough to shove him away and tell him to “fuck off.” He sets a few pillows on the floor next to the couch so she doesn’t die if she falls off in the night and then takes himself to bed.

In the morning they’re both hungover so he makes them omelets and forces them to drink water and take some Tylenol before ejecting them from his home. Their groggy state is probably why they don’t argue much about being awake before ten in the morning, they’re practically docile when they’re like this. He tells them to go home, but he’s pretty sure they’re headed out for bloody marys instead. 

T.K.’s not on shift, but he’s spending time with his dad today and won’t be by until later, so Carlos busies himself by doing some weekend cleaning around the condo, making a quick trip to the farmer’s market to find something for dinner, and then…he doesn’t know what to do.

He tries to read a book, but it doesn’t hold his interest. So he scours his streaming services for a show to watch, but his eyes keep drifting away, and he’s halfway through an episode of some random procedural before he realizes he has no idea what’s happening. He turns it off with a sigh. He’s never struggled to entertain himself on a weekend before and he can’t quite put his finger on why he’s so bored today.

Not until T.K. knocks on his door around five o’clock.

Carlos practically runs, wrenching the door open so fast it nearly goes flying out of his hand and slams into the wall. “Hey,” he says, immediately reaching for T.K.’s waist and pulling him inside, as he presses a kiss to his lips.

“Hey,” T.K. says when they pull apart, his eyes sparkling with fun. “That’s a way nicer welcome than I get at my dad’s house.”

“I missed you,” Carlos says and that’s when the realization strikes him. He wasn’t bored this afternoon. He was lonely.

Adriana and Francesca’s words drift through his mind and he takes a step back, putting some distance between them, not wanting to seem too weirdly eager. “How was your time with your dad?”

“Good,” T.K. says, dropping his bag by the door. “We got lunch at this vegan place he wanted to try and then I helped him set up a new phone.”

Carlos winces in sympathy. “How did that go?”

T.K. sinks down onto a stool at the counter as Carlos heads back to the stove. “You know for a guy who really tries to stay with the times, he’s definitely an old man when it comes to technology.”

That makes Carlos chuckle. “Been there. I had to help my abuelita get on Facebook a couple years ago so she could see pictures of her great grandbabies. It did not go well.”

“I cannot even tell you how many times I had to explain to him that there are no buttons anymore,” T.K. says with a roll of his eyes as he pops a grape from the bowl on the counter into his mouth. “Thanks for rescuing me. I’m sure he’ll call with questions, but I’m going to ignore him and deal with that another day.” He smiles up at Carlos. “Tonight I’m all yours.”

Carlos’ stomach explodes with butterflies so intense that he feels almost like he might need to sit down. What the hell is going on with him?

He turns away to stir the sauce he’s got going and feels T.K. come up behind him. He practically melts when T.K. slides his arms around his waist and plants his head on his shoulder. “Whatcha makin’?” he asks.

“Bolognese,” Carlos says, resisting the urge to whip around and claim his mouth right here and now in the kitchen. “And I got fresh berries from the market today for dessert. I made whipped cream earlier.”

T.K. groans. “I literally don’t know how I survived before I met you. My dad’s cooking trends significantly more healthy than hearty.”

“That’s how I lured you in,” Carlos says, turning a little so he can smirk suggestively. “I know a desperately hungry man when I see one.”

“Oh I was hungry,” T.K. says with a chuckle, and then he drops his voice. “But it wasn’t for your cooking. That’s just a perk.”

He kisses the side of Carlos’ neck and Carlos shivers. “If I leave this it’s going to burn,” he says, sucking in a shaky breath when T.K. doesn’t stop at one kiss but continues to press his lips into Carlos’ skin

T.K. sighs and lets go, hopping up to sit on the counter, swinging his legs and back forth. “Fine. But you owe me later. Now, tell me all about movie night.”

“Well no one got alcohol poisoning, so we’re going to consider it a win,” Carlos says as he puts the pasta on to boil.

T.K. snorts. “They sound like fun. When do I get invited?”

“Ha!” Carlos blurts out a laugh louder than he means to because the thought of T.K. being interrogated by Adriana and Francesa is more terrifying than anything else he can think of. “Trust me, it’s safer if you’re not.”

“Come on!” T.K. says. “They’re important to you! I need to meet your people!”

“You work with Michelle.”

T.K. rolls his eyes. “That’s not the same. Michelle’s not your family.”

Technically she kind of is, but Carlos isn’t ready to spill those beans yet. “Here, taste this,” he says, changing the subject as he brings a spoon to T.K.’s lips.

“Wow,” T.K. says as he swallows. “That’s incredible.”

“It’ll be ready in like five minutes,” Carlos tells him. 

“Can I help with something?”

“You can set the table.”

T.K. hops off the counter and Carlos’ heart does something funny as he watches him open the silverware drawer and pull plates down from one of the cupboards. He doesn’t need Carlos to tell him where things are; he already knows. He’s not a guest here anymore, he belongs.

They eat and then T.K. helps him wash up the dishes before suggesting they settle down to watch another episode of Stranger Things, which he knows means T.K. is going to watch for about ten minutes before he starts fooling around. It’s therefore not a surprise when they abandon the episode halfway through to make their way up to Carlos’ bedroom.

They hold each other after, sweaty and breathless, and as amazing as the sex was, this is better. Feeling T.K. breathe against him, knowing T.K. is his boyfriend, that he’s not just here for a good time is…everything. The dinners together, the watching TV, the going on dates to movies and the matching toothbrushes in the bathroom, it all feels like everything he’s ever wanted. Like everything he never thought he’d be able to have. 

It feels like…

The word love flickers through his mind and his heart stutters in his chest. It can’t…this can’t…

Before he can examine anything more fully T.K. props himself up on one elbow and runs a hand down Carlos’ chest. “I’m going to take a shower. Want to join me?”

That’s not an offer he’s going to refuse and so that word, those four letters, get pushed from his mind for a little longer.

                                                         XXX 

He has lunch with Michelle two days later. When she finally arrives (late) she looks exhausted and Carlos’ heart squeezes with sympathy. “Hey chica,” he says warmly, pulling her into a hug.

“Hey.” She holds on for longer than normal and Carlos lets her, trying to absorb some of the sadness he can feel radiating off of her.

“How are you?” he asks when they finally break apart.

Her face is drawn and there are dark circles under her eyes. Iris’ decision to stay out on the streets is weighing on her in a different way than her sister’s first disappearance ever did. Michelle fought tooth and nail for years and now that there’s no one left to fight it’s like she’s been emptied out.

Carlos should have checked on her sooner.

“Hungry,” she says, sending him a genuine if somewhat tired smile. “I hope you don’t want any guac because I am going to eat all of this.” She reaches for a chip and digs into the appetizer he’s ordered for them.

“All yours,” he tells her, nudging the basket closer. “I got you a lemonade too.”

“Bless you,” she says gratefully.

“Also just a heads up, my mom wants to bring over tamales for you and your mom on Tuesday. And you know she won’t take no for an answer.”

“Tamales from Andrea? Who could say no to that?” Michelle says with a smile.

“How’s your mom doing?” 

“She’s…okay,” Michelle tells him and he can see the worry wearing at the edges of her. “It’s hard. We both just want Iris home, but she’s still not interested. It’s going to be a long process.”

“Would it help if I went to see her?”

Michelles shakes her head and dips another chip. “I think right now it’s better if she doesn’t feel overwhelmed or pressured. But once we get her back and on some meds, I’m sure she’d love to see you.”

There’s relief and guilt mixed together at those words, but Carlos pushes it all aside. “She’s still on my health insurance. So whatever she needs, let me know and I’ll take care of it.”

“Thank you,” she tells him softly, reaching over to place her hand on top of his. “Enough about me though! What’s up with you and T.K.? You guys are official now, right?”

Carlos steals a chip and nods. “We are, yes.”

“And how is that?” Michelle’s face says she already knows exactly how it is.

“It’s good,” Carlos says mildly.

She smacks the table. “Come on Reyes! I’m stuck in the family drama muck over here, let me live vicariously through you and the sexy boyfriend!”

“It doesn’t bother you at all that you are asking for explicit details about your co-worker?”

“Well you don’t have to tell me everything. Just a little. Come on. Is it still the honeymoon period? Or does he snore? Or drool?”

Carlos chuckles. “Yes, no, and no.”

“Good,” she says. “Love looks good on you.”

He sighs, curling a hand around his cup. “What?” she asks in confusion.

“Why does everyone keep saying that? That I’m in love?”

“Well you are, aren’t you?”

“No!” Carlos says it too loudly and immediately looks around to make sure no one else noticed. “It’s too early for that. We barely know each other.”

“Carlos you’ve been head over heels for him since the moment you met. I saw you that night at the honky tonk with stars in your eyes.”

“That was just attraction. And lust,” Carlos says, remembering the sparks that had ignited in him the second T.K. had said yes to a dance. Those sparks have yet to be extinguished.

“I mean, I’m sure he’s good in bed, but nobody is that good in bed,” she tells him, huffing out a laugh. “You talk about him constantly. You spend all your free time together. He pushed you away and then you invited him back in anyway. Sweetie, you sat at his bedside and held his hand while he was in a coma.”

Carlos goes silent as he processes this, thinking about all the feelings he’s been having over the last few months. Feelings he’s never had before. Feelings that have him feeling just barely this side of crazy. “Am I?” he asks, barely more than a whisper. “Am I in love with him?”

“Would it be so bad?” Michelle asks. “If you are?”

“I—I don’t know,” Carlos says. “I don’t want to freak him out.”

“You don’t have to tell him,” she says. “You can wait until the moment feels right. You can even wait for him to say it first if that’s what works best for you.”

“God,” Carlos groans as he buries his face in his free hand. “I don’t know how to do a relationship like this.”

“Hey.” She reaches up and brushes a hand over his cheek, a fond smile on her face. “You deserve to be loved Carlos. So if you love him, then love him. And if he wants to, let him love you back. Don’t listen to that voice in your head telling you it’s too soon or that you’re not worthy or that he couldn’t want someone like you. Let it happen. And enjoy it.”

She winks at him and picks up a menu. “Now, let’s decide what we’re eating because these chips alone are not going to cut it.”

                                                         XXX

He hates days like this. Days where it feels like they can’t save anyone. There’s too much blood, too much crying, too much trauma, and it makes him question whether or not this job is worth it. 

He’ll sleep on it and feel better in the morning, he always does. But right now he’s down a deep, dark hole of grief over lives that will never be the same because there’s too much evil in this world and they didn’t get there in time to stop it today. 

The hole is so deep and so dark that he doesn’t even remember he has a boyfriend until he walks in his front door and sees T.K. sitting on his couch. “Oh, Jesus,” he says in surprise, a hand going to his chest as his heart gives a startled leap the sight of someone else in his space.

“And hello to you too,” T.K. says with a laugh as he mutes the TV. 

“Sorry,” Carlos says. “Sorry, I just, I didn’t expect you to be here.”

“You gave me a key and said to use it,” T.K. says, eyes going from cheery to wary in a heartbeat. “Did you not want me to—“

“No,” Carlos interrupts quickly. “No, of course I meant for you to use it. You can come whenever you want. You belong here. I just didn’t…it’s been a long day.”

He drops his stuff, not even bothering to put it all away correctly and heads for the kitchen. He’s so tired that if he closes his eyes he could probably fall asleep standing up, but he’s also starving and dinner isn’t going to cook itself. “Did you eat? Do you want um…” he scans the fridge trying to make the contents form a meal. “Tacos? Or I could do like a stir fry?”

He feels T.K. come up behind him. “Why don’t we do takeout tonight? Or I can cook.”

“It’s fine. I don’t mind.”

T.K. reaches around Carlos’ body and gently pushes the refrigerator closed. “I know you don’t mind, but you’re exhausted. You don’t need to cook. Let me figure it out for tonight,” he says softly.

Carlos can’t come up with a response. His brain is telling him that he needs to provide a meal, but he’s so tired he can’t come up with words to explain that to T.K.

His silence goes on for too long and T.K. reaches down and laces their hands together. “Come on, come with me,” he says, tugging softly and leading Carlos over to the couch. 

Carlos sinks down into the cushions and T.K. grabs a throw pillow, leaning it against the arm rest. “Lay down,” he says, reaching to help Carlos lift his feet up so that he’s completely horizontal.

Carlos shifts, nestling himself into the cushions until he’s comfortable as T.K. settles onto the edge of the coffee table, eyes searching his. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Carlos shakes his head. Not right now. He can’t. 

“Okay.” T.K. reaches out and brushes a hand over Carlos’ curls, still slicked back from his day at work. “Why don’t you close your eyes for a little bit? I’ll wake you up when the food is ready.”

He hasn’t had someone take care of him like this in years, not since he was a kid. It feels…good. So good. 

T.K. stands up, but Carlos catches his hand. “Thank you,” he says.

“Hey, what are boyfriends for?” T.K. tells him with a smile. 

He watches as T.K. bops around the kitchen pulling out way more pots and pans than necessary and it’s so right it makes his heart ache.

I love you.

The words swell inside of him and this time he feels them without fear. They’re a certainty. Permanent. Something everyone else has been seeing and he feels stupid that he ever doubted their truth. He loves T.K. Has probably loved him since he laid on eyes on him.

“Hey T.K.?” 

“Yeah babe?” T.K. calls back as he rinses vegetables in the sink.

“I—“ 

The words are true, but he hesitates to say them yet. The little voice that tells him they’re real also tells him that he needs to wait, because he might be ready, but he’s not sure T.K. is. So he finds other words instead. “I meant it. What I said before. You belong here.”

T.K. pauses and his face breaks into a smile so big that it’s like the sun has come out. “Thanks babe.”

He goes back to work, already making more of a mess than Carlos usually makes during the entire dinner process. Carlos’ eyes drift closed to the sound of pots and pans clanking around and he feels himself relaxing despite the chaos. 

This is love. And it’s good. 

[freedelusionshere]

I do think Donna is a malignant narcissist. She’s bitter and angry about the circumstances she was dealt and took it out on her children and acts out in order to feel in control and also to entertain herself and generally feel superior even though she’s deeply insecure.

She comes from a generation that isn’t great at self-reflection and although they organize their lives in ways that might appear less individualistic and more communal via family, they feel entitled and in control in that environment while being paranoid and insecure. They act out most when they feel insecure.

We know her mother wasn’t nice, which is an obvious hint she’s perpetuating a cycle of violence. Her generation isn’t as open to admitting to mental health/disorder struggles. We don’t know if her mother or husband were also alcoholics, but alcoholism is present adding another layer of complexity.

We don’t know why she married the Berzatto kid’s father, but we do know she was with Lee who all her kids hate, who was abusive to Mikey and they’re forced to be around on holidays. Cicero also makes flirty with her in Fishes then mocks her later, or, maybe he’s admitting to something out loud; you never know with him he likes to open confess things (“You’re so sexy when you’re drunk.”)

Things she mentions are envying other mothers who had money at the grocery store and where they lived (implying they didn’t have to work), she disliked their father as soft/weak/couldn’t handle things and how he stole her dreams and went away (or was sent who knows) so she had to raise the kids by herself and work which she resented.

Mocking her children for making mistakes (perfectionism she applies to herself), attacking Nat for being sensitive (nurturing, which she is not), the stuff with Mikey as the new “man of the house”. Infantalizing Carmy and jealousy he was able to chase his dreams. The face slapping, yelling, always a low-key threat of violence/retaliation, which culminates in her driving her car through the family home.

Cousin Michelle basically protecting and sheltering Carmy from it and saying out loud it would be bad for his mental health to stay there is flagging it for anyone who still thinks it’s all amusement and enjoyment for the viewer.

All of that to say, the character exists for a reason which is to tell a story about cycles of abuse. Women can definitely be abusers and narcissists too. Claire has signs of the same thrill-seeking, self centered traits on display while pursuing Carmy - the showrunner mirrored them and admitted it in an LA Times article.

It sounds like Donna is getting therapy (maybe) or working on stuff. Maybe she is attending AA since both Nat and Carm are as family impacted by substance abuse? But all the Berzattos should still have boundaries and expectations around her. Carmy and Pete actually bring this up about Nat wanting her to come to friends & family night.

She doesn’t come inside The Bear for a number of reasons (it reminds her too much of Mikey and her own failures, I suspect) and Carmy hasn’t spoken to her in five years so she knows he doesn’t want her there. She agreed to come for Nat who is trying to fix that part of their family because she’s pregnant and wants her mom around, although Donna doesn’t know at the time. But Donna’s afraid to go inside because she will have a hard time not being triggered and making it about herself instead of them, because she doesn’t know how to show she loves them in a healthy way.

When Nat’s in the hospital Donna has no problem showing how entitled she feels and making stuff about herself and is and doing racist microaggressions in front of the women caring for her daughter. Nat just had to get through that because no one else was around and wants to break the cycle for herself.

Carmy is not in the same life stage as Nat and needs to deal with Donna for his own mental wellness which he is avoiding. He knows if he wants to be in a healthy relationship (with Syd) he needs to have worked through or started to work through this or risk bringing unresolved issues into their relationship which have already manifested at work.

[wouldadepressedpersonmakethis]

Keira Knightley, Emma Corrin, and Lily James as sisters (possibly two other girls as well??? The Bennet sisters meet the Crawley sisters??) live on an old estate where none of them can inherit

Their cousin who is to be the heir is either a Mr Collins meets Mr Rushworth type or Mr Wickham meets Willoughby (if the later he’s been flirting with EMMA CORRIN and convinced her he’s in love with her and wants to marry her but he is really just here to have fun)

DAN STEVENS is in love with KK and has been for years but she’s marrying TOBY STEPHENS instead because he’s $$$$$$ and has a title

CILLIAN MURPHY lives in the village (or in a neighboring one??) and has a thing for LILY JAMES but thinks she’s a housemaid

JESSIE BUCKLEY is in a fanny price situation where her mom married a poor man but came from a wealthy family and JESSIE was sent to live with her rich relations but she’s still very wild and untamed and causes a scene!! Catch her cursing like a sailor and drinking down at the pubs

MICHELLE DOCKERY, JESSICA BROWN FINDLAY, RICHARD ARMITAGE, and MATTHEW GOODE as siblings and cousins to JESSIE

[ignyxdaughter]

𝐗𝐕𝐈𝐈𝐈 - 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐀𝐆𝐀𝐈𝐍

(𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐚𝐫𝐤𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 /𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐤𝐬𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐨𝐳𝐨𝐯𝐚 𝐱 𝐤𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐦𝐢𝐤𝐚𝐞𝐥𝐬𝐨𝐧)

MASTERLIST

READ ON WATTPAD

A/N: English is not my first language. I’m gonna mix the books and the tv show to make the story line clearer (I read soc, the grisha trilogy and its tales). I don’t own Shadow and Bone and TO/Legacies characters; they’re, respectively, Leigh Bardugo, L. J. Smith and Julie Plec. Also, this is how I think the Darkling is,and some of the events will be changed due to the story's course!

word count: 5066

warnings: none

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Katherine lets out a heavy sigh as she finally arrives at her room at Praecantrix. Her head is aching because of the huge quantity of simultaneous thoughts racing in her mind, her body craves for a well-deserved sleep after spending the night in Ravka's freezing weather, and her empty stomach screams for a meal.

"You look like shit."

She jumps in fright when a voice echoes through the room, and automatically places a hand on her chest in an attempt to calm her heart. She doesn't need to open her eyes to know who it is. "Levi."

The man is lazily seated on a chair, yet his brown eyes attentively examine every inch of his cousin's appearance. He was starting to consider everything reasonably normal, until spotting the dried tears on her cheeks, now rosy from the cold.  Levi opens his mouth to question, but is interrupted by the woman, who, thinking that his gaze was on her bloody hands, thought he had mistaken the dried scarlet liquid as hers.

"Not mine."

"That's weird. I thought your tears were yours."

She immediately opens her eyes to look at him. "I thought you were—"

"It's easy to know this isn't your blood, Kat." He stands up from the chair and heads towards the room's door. "Take a bath and then we'll talk."

Katherine obeys him, gathering a new pair of clothes to wear before going to the washroom. If she wasn't so tired and cold, she would wait for the water to naturally fill the bathtub, but as this wasn't the case, she quickly made a spell to conjure hot water inside the tub. The witch sighs in relief when her skin makes contact with the liquid, finally feeling comfortable and sensing her tense body slowly ease.

She takes her time in the washroom, wanting nothing but to calm her mind and clean herself. The water is almost cold when she decides to go back to her room, only to find Levi laying on the bed with closed eyes.

"I left you a plate." He points at the desk, which now has food and drinks. "You must be starving, so eat."

The shadow singer isn't able to stop the small smile forming on her lips. "You are being too gentle with me. That is unusual."

"I don't want you looking even more like a malnourished person." With a smirk, he opens an eye to see her face hardens. "Better?"

"Come back to your tender version, arsehole."

The man only shrugs and continues to rest as she seats on the chair and begins to eat. The peaceful silence that they stay makes Katherine smile a bit. It has always been like this with Levi: excited when the two seek a distraction, tranquil when one of them goes through something terrible... From the moment they met, as soon as Katheribe entered the Mikaelson residence at eight years old, the two understood each other. Because they were adopted and sometimes felt a little out of place in the world, they were always each other's anchor. Of course, Michelle joined them too, but for her the person who is by her side every time is Agatha.

A sudden wind escapes through the wooden window, making the shadow singer shiver. Without thinking, she grabs the warmest thing in the room and puts it around her shoulders as if it was a blanket.

"This cloak isn't yours."

Her body instantly stiffens with the realization of what clothing she has chosen. "I..."

"It's from Kirigan, isn't it?" She looks down in nervousness, fearing for a moment his words. "I don't share the same thoughts as Hope, Kat. I think he does you good."

"I don't know about that."

There's a creaking noise near her, probably the bed as Levi moved to sit straight. "What do you mean?"

"We fought."

"Why?"

"Because he wants to expand the Fold." Her voice is barely a whisper as she faces her cousin with a clenching heart. "H-He wants power and the safety of Grishas, but is following the wrong path to achieve it."

The man is with a stern expression now, quickly understanding the seriousness of the situation that his cousin put herself in. "If he expands the Fold, there will be an imbalance."

Katherine nods. "I told him that. He will be hated, his people will be hated, our people will be hated."

"You have to stop him, Kat. Those Supernaturals don't have elsewhere to go. They don't deserve to live another hunt."

"I know, and that's why I told him to architect a coup against the Lantsov."

"A coup against the Lants— Are you insane?! This is not our country to mess with!"

"But it's still our people! You said it yourself that those Supernaturals don't deserve another hunt, and there will be one if we don't interfere."

"Katherine—"

She rushes to his side as if he would storm out of the room at any moment. "Please, Levi. We cannot just gather Agatha's memories back and leave as if nothing happened. We made a deal with these people, they are trusting us to help them get a better life. Disappointing them is not an option!"

"I don't want to let them down either, but being part of a coup? Really?"

"You have already been in thousands! Why is this one different? Besides, this plan will prevent a magical imbalance. The Fold will be right where it is without any reduction nor expansion. The hatred towards our people will decrease."

He massages his temples as an attempt to ease the thoughts that are starting to race inside his head. This is one of the times when Levi is sure that Katherine just seems to be the Mikaelson that doesn't get others into trouble. She indeed is the one who had put the family in less problems, however, all of her bad situations are unpredictably worse than all of the others. "I'm still not sure about this."

"You and Michelle have traveled the entire Ravka. You have seen some cities' misery and helplessness against the war, you have witnessed awful life conditions for mortals, Grishas and Supernaturals. There is no way that you haven't concluded that even the mortals aren't satisfied with the Lantsovs reign. If they continue to rule like that, it will only be a matter of time before someone explodes against them."

"It will take centuries for that to happen, Kat."

"That's a blink of an eye for us, so what's the matter in just fastening it a little?"

The man opens his mouth to answer her, but before his voice echoes in the room, he feels Katherine's warm and slender fingers touch his temple. Levi enters in a sudden trance due to having access to his cousin's argument with Kirigan. He sees her crying while revealing intimate secrets and the General's mournful face as he listens to her. Then he calms her down and gives his cloak to her. Finally, the sweet moment transforms into a frustrating one, the woods' darkness increasing as they shout at each other.

After what felt like eternity, though it only lasted a second, the memory transmitter spell vanishes from Levi's mind. The man opens his eyes only to see his cousin looking at him expectantly and, although not knowing if her idea is a good one, he doesn't find in himself the ability to reject her. Because he remembers the countless times when she came back to Praecantrix with a loving smile on her lips or a calmness that implies that she is at peace with herself. Kirigan makes Katherine want to live, and the Ancestors know how she struggles to have the desire to be alive.

The younger Mikaelson glances at the woman for a few more moments before agreeing. "Fine! I'll help you with that fucking plan."

The hug that Katherine gives him warms his heart and, deep down his soul, Levi knows he made the right choice.

────────── ★ ★ ★ ──────────

3 days later ��� Os Alta, Ravka

It's been three days since her fight with Kirigan and he hasn't contacted her yet. Katherine tries to maintain herself occupied to not think about the General, but it's useless. No matter how many meetings she has with Anastasia to tell her what's the current situation in the country, how much discussions she has with Levi about the coup against the Lantsovs or how many hours she passes searching for a memory spell for Agatha, her mind will always find a way to come back to The Darkling. Without noticing, the shadow singer found herself sleeping with his cloak at night, smelling the sandalwood scent in order to obtain comfort.

How is he? Is he as woeful as I am? Has he at least considered giving up his plan? Did he get scared with my sorrowful mind and furious yells? Does he think I rejected him for being the Black Heretic?

Katherine groans and opens her eyes to gaze at the ceiling. For the Ancestors sake, what is happening to her?! Not even in her most especial romances she has been like that, so why is it different with Kirigan?

Anastasia saw her concentration slipping countless times in these days and, whenever they were alone, she would say that this is all due to the strong bond The Handler shares with The Darkling. Of course, she happily ignored the hybrid, not finding sense that just because she is in love she can act like a fool.

"No!" Katherine abruptly sits up, her light green eyes widening at the sudden realization. "I am not falling in love."

You are, miss. Umbra's sweet voice echoes in her ears.

"No, I am not!" She shakes her head in denial. "I can't."

That isn't something you can control. For once, trust your instincts, miss; it's been ages since you have allowed yourself to love again.

"But, like Hope said, he may break my heart—"

He won't.

"—And if he does, I don't know how long it will take me to recover."

You won't have to pass through that again because he won't hurt you.

"How are you so sure about that?"

Because we know him too.

Katherine frowns, confused at the statement. "What do you mean by that?" The shadow doesn't reply to her. "Umbra?" Again, there is no answer, though she can feel a dark figure excitingly approaching her. Taking that as a cue, the witch makes another calling attempt, finally feeling that this time she will be answered. "Umbra!"

No. Cheshire. The creature corrects her.

"Cheshire!" She immediately stands up to properly face the grinning shadow. Oh, she has been so worried about it, thinking something had hurt it and made it unable to come back to her. She has asked her shadows innumerable times about Cheshire, but none of them gave her any concrete response. "What are you doing here? You left for days without any warning and came back as if nothing had happened?"

I was watching over someone.

"A person?! Have them harm you or discover your hideout? If so, I swear that I will hunt and torture them until—"

There is no need to frat, Katherine. I am alright.

The witch lets out a heavy sigh, not taking her eyes away from the dark figure. "Are you sure?"

Yes! Its sharp smile increases as it extends her a small piece of paper. I even have a message for you!

"A message?" The creature nods and she takes the paper from its tail. The air in her lungs instantly stops as she recognizes the neat handwriting. It is identical to the one on the notebooks on the General's office that she read while being disguised as a handmaiden. "You were spying on Kirigan?" Cheshire nods again. "Why?"

Because I needed to warn you in case he wanted to see you again. Now, read the letter.

Katherine glances down at her shaking hands and gulps as she reads the five words written.

I changed my mind. - Kirigan

Her heart skips a beat at the thought of meeting him again, her stomach starts to twist in nervousness of what he will say to her. He changed his mind. Kirigan has given up that insane plan of his and put some sense inside his head. Does that mean that he now agrees with her 'discreet way' of gaining power and, therefore, wants to execute it?

There is only one way to find out. Cheshire's voice interrupts her thoughts.

She bites her lip, uncertain on what to do, but concludes that her talk with The Darkling will be fruitless if she searches for him now. She is with a lot on her head at the moment, and he must be already asleep. Katherine then spends the rest of the night with Nick, Levi and Michelle, seeking after an effective memory spell for Agatha and discussing the possibilities that won't harm her cousin.

────────── ★ ★ ★ ──────────

It is afternoon when Kirigan leaves the Grisha training camps to go to his war room. He has spent the morning watching all the practices of the Second Army for at least half an hour, analyzing the soldiers and listening to reports from the regents of each Grisha order. It was tiring, to say the least, but it has restrained him from thinking about a certain witch. He has nothing to do now but believe that Cheshire has delivered her the message and that she is willing to meet him again.

"Moi soverenyi." The General stops on his tracks as he hears Ivan's urgent voice.

He has to hold the urge to roll his eyes at the thought that there has been an emergency and he is now being needed. "Yes?"

"I can hear a heartbeat." The Heartrender approaches him. "There's someone in your chambers."

Katherine.

He takes a deep breath to contain the mix of excitement and nervousness. Only the thought of seeing the woman again makes a shiver run over him. "If it is an intruder, I will take care of them myself."

Without looking back, The Darkling enters the war room only to find it empty. This makes his whole body go into alert, beginning to consider the idea of a real intruder. He looks around in search of the slightest movement that a person can make, attentive to any detail in the room that may imply that someone was — and still is — there. Kirigan stretches his fingers, ready to attack whoever is daring to spy on or harm him, and begins to slowly walk around the chamber to analyze it more clearly.

A sudden wind by his right makes his gaze instantly go in that direction. His hands begin to move in order to summon a shadow, but he stops as he sees a small piece of darkness circling the said members. For a moment, his whole body stiffens. He wasn't the one who conjured it.

Then another tiny shadow circles his hands again and consequently produces a slight wind, the same delicate draft that made him look to his right. There are only two people who can create darkness as him: Baghra and Katherine. He prays that it is the latter, since he cannot even bear the thought of having a conversation with his mother right now.

However, as another innocent shadow circles his hands again, the General just knows that it is Katherine. The memory of him summoning a tiny piece of darkness to put a strand of hair behind her ear, followed by her imitating the action and making a shadow circle his face, makes the corner of his lips lift in a glimpse of a smile. She remembered the gesture and now is repeating it.

Kirigan turns around only to find her in a dark corner of the room, hidden by its obscurity. She takes a step forwards, letting the light illuminate her slander frame. The witch is blushing and her mouth quivers into a small grin as her eyes meet his. As she begins to speak, she tightens the grip around the black cloak on her body, his cloak. "I was starting to get impatient. I waited for you all morning."

To say that his ego didn't float in joy with that statement is a blatant lie. "Did you?" She nods. "Then why didn't you search for me? I am sure you could've managed to find me."

"I wanted to surprise you." Katherine unbuttons the cloak and takes it off of her shoulders. Of course she isn't happy to undo herself from such a warming — and nice-smelling — clothing, but it belongs to Kirigan and he would soon demand it back anyways. "Besides, it would be unwise to walk through the hallways wearing The Darkling's cloak. Rumors about your love life would be made."

He raises his eyebrow, amused. "Rumors about my love life are already made. It wouldn't be unusual for a new one to appear."

"But it would be unusual for a random woman to shamelessly be with your clothes."

The witch's gracious steps echo in the war room as she goes to his desk and, whilst leaving the cloak on his chair, picks up a certain paper. Their contract. Argh, Kirigan has forgotten that he left this there in the early morning. "You know, I wasn't born with the gift of negotiation. My father was the one who had it."

"So why did you learn it, then?"

"Because I wanted to be just like him." Her light green eyes look away from the contract to gaze at him. For an instant, the General is concerned that her sad smile will lead to another breakdown. "He was considered the noble one of my family, always knowing the right words for any situation and the exact moment they were needed. His deals were unpredictable, and his wisdom, along with his patient yet indifferent facade, used to shock everyone."

"He seems to have been a memorable man." The Darkling honestly says, thinking that no one who has crossed Katherine's dad path was able to forget him.

"He certainly was." She looks away, probably having memories about him, but then a sudden chuckle surprises Kirigan. "I remember hearing my uncle Klaus saying that my father was the brother to summon when negotiations were made, whilst he was the one to appear when those ended. These two complemented each other: Elijah was the mind while Klaus was the fists."

"Your family seems united."

"We are."

When Aleksander was young and finally met Ulla, his half-sister that he spent countless days searching for, he used to constantly think about what would have happened if Baghra hadn't given away the girl to the lover who had sired her. These thoughts have tormented his mind for ages, but as time flew and he started to learn to accept his life instead of lamenting it, they began to fade. However, that doesn't stop him from grieving for brief moments about the sister he will never see again or the life that he couldn't have.

"That must be wonderful."

"It is." The shadow singer gives him a sad smile, as if she knew what thoughts were in his mind. "Especially because we are always welcoming with those we love."

Kirigan swears that he felt his heart skipping a beat. He couldn't help but feel proud to see her pale cheeks getting red and her gaze immediately falling back to the contract. "As I said—", she quickly changed the subject "I wanted to be like my father. So I started to go to the meetings he allowed me to witness. I loved every single one. I would sit in a dark corner and observe the behaviors in the room, analyze the reactions as the talk went by and conclude every emotion that each person was feeling. At the end of the day, I would tell him my discoveries and he would listen before complimenting or correcting me. He would even give me books to read and ask me to examine the reasons why the characters acted in some ways during specific situations."

"He taught you how to read people."

She shakes her head in uncertainty. "I was born with that gift. He only... perfected it."

"He surely did an outstanding job. Has he also taught you how to negotiate?"

"Unfortunately, I had to learn that by myself. He only had time to teach me the basics before dying. And although not knowing a thing about making deals, I had two traits in my favor. The first one was my ability to read people."

"And the second one?"

"I was never an easy person to fool." His amused glance makes her release a small chuckle. "I have always helped the Supernaturals in New Orleans and, by doing that, I have seen many mortals seeking witches for a spell. They would appear with a desperate face and give whatever money amount that the witch demanded. When I grew up, I decided that it was this kind of negotiation that I would follow."

The Darkling raises a skeptical eyebrow. "But you aren't paid with money. You require favors in exchange for a spell."

Katherine's red lips quiver in a smirk. "Exactly. I was raised by a wealthy family; I already have my own money and don't need more. Favors, on the other hand, are always precious, especially ones that my client will only find out by the time I need them." Finally, she leaves the contract on the desk and turns to Kirigan. "This type of negotiation though is dangerous, uncertain. I would be persecuted by hunters and acquaintances of my clients if I showed my face. Therefore, I had to find a way to stay safe and guarantee that no one would ever betray me."

"So you began to sign the bargains with blood and cast a spell that prevented them from revealing who you are."

She nods. "Blood magic is unbreakable and trackable. It is the only magic that allows me to locate my clients even after centuries that I accomplished their wishes. The silencing spell, along with my shadows gathering letters addressed to me, ensures that my identity is still a secret and that no one will ever dare to confront me. After all, I just meet people in places that I know with the back of my hand."

Genius. Kirigan thinks, stunned at the woman's declarations.

He looks at her from the top to bottom before asking: "Why the name Handler?"

"I don't know. Why the name Darkling?" Katherine chuckles as he rolls his eyes in annoyance. However, she silently approaches him without breaking eye contact nor making a noise. He discretely takes a deep breath as she takes off the ruby ring on her right ring finger and reveals a tattooed thin black line circling her finger. "Because I am a handler but, mainly, because I have everyone wrapped around my finger. I handle all the wishes and dreams of people, therefore, I have the power to accomplish or crush them." Her light green eyes meet his dark browns in false innocence. "Manipulation is an art, and I am the best artist the world has ever seen."

The smile he gives her is able to hypnotize and lure anyone to do the wishes of the General of the Second Army. But not Katherine. She isn't a fool to believe in sweet lies, and the increasing smirk on her face only comproves that she has understood his little act. The witch ignores all the nervousness growing in her stomach as she touches the man's cheek. "Manipulation suits you."

Kirigan's heart is beating as fast as a drum when he coups her warm — and currently red — face. "I am afraid I'll have to say the same to you, milaya."

Her eyes widen in surprise, the air in her lungs gone from the moment he has called her that. Milaya means 'darling' in russian. Did he actually mean that or was it unintentional? It certainly seems an unusual behavior from the cold Shadow Summoner everyone knows, but to Katherine this feels right, an action she didn't know she was needing.

"Come—", his soothing voice takes the witch away from her reveries "I have to show you something."

She tries not to stutter, but her efforts are useless as her mind is still on the affectionate name. "W-What?"

"You'll see."

He extends a hand to her, which she accepts, and leads her through his private hallways until they get to the Little Palaces stables. She stays hidden in the shadows as Kirigan orders a servant to prepare his black stallion. The waiting is almost nonexistent and soon he is mounting the horse and entering the woods.

Katherine travels through the shadows until the man stops at a place where no one can see them and invites her to be with him. He helps her into the saddle and sits behind her, tightly gripping the animal's rope to ensure that she is between his arms and won't fall. Kirigan lets out a genuine laugh when she startles as the stallion starts to suddenly gallop.

Both of them are so immersed in delight that they don't even notice that they arrived at their destination. After the two get to the snowy floor, the witch observes the place where they are at. She frowns in confusion as soon as her eyes meet the Black Heretic fountain.

"Why here?"

"To seal our deal in the place where it all began." He says while tying his black horse on a tree.

She opens her mouth to question him, but her words vanish as soon as The Darkling begins to summon darkness. Shivers run down her entire body as he expertly expands the shadow and shapes it into the form of a huge sharp blade. Katherine's jaw drops as he releases it towards some trees, slicing them in halves. It made a perfect cut; the dark wisps of smoke fading in the air are the only proof that an ability from small science was what provoked this.

She doesn't know how long she stays still while admiring the sliced wood, but it must have been good minutes because Kirigan is now impatiently staring at her. "Any thoughts to share?"

"It..." She sighs, still taken aback by the technique. "It's beautiful."

That wasn't what he was expecting. Of course, Katherine has already shown signs of excitement towards the Cut, but this still took the man aback. No one has ever told him that. The Cut has always been a way to make people fear him, being used only for attack and self-defense. The blood it sheds easily frightens enemies like the drüskelle or others who dare to cross his path. But the witch in front of him isn't scared. No, she is elated, looking at it as if it was the most mesmerizing thing her eyes have ever witnessed.

"Wonderful!" She excitedly faces him. "Are you sure it isn't magic?"

He couldn't hold back the smile, a reflection of the joy evading his body. Finally he is truly being accepted by someone, not having to pretend to be what he isn't. Even after their fight, Katherine willingly came back to him and waited hours to have the opportunity to talk to him alone. She likes his manipulative nature, his power and its lethality, his greatest creation and his dreams. She sat beside him and listened to him, not judging a single part of his past and the choices he has made because of it. She shares everything with him and, instead of cursing him for having some insane plans, she only scolded him and then suggested a better one, a 'more discreet way' to achieve his wishes without ending previous conquests!

Katherine indeed is his true equal, in mind and power. There's no one else in the world that is better than her.

"I am."

She approaches the trees and carefully admires the cleaness of the sliced halves. "It seems so. It's such a powerful ability!"

"Thank you." I guess.

It took almost an hour for the shadow singer to stop asking questions and making observations about the Cut. When she finally straightened her posture and made her way towards Kirigan, he felt a slight twinge of pain at the thought that their conversation was over and so was their deal. The contract has been accomplished by both parts; Katherine is free to go whenever she wants now. However, for what seemed like the nth time of the day, she managed to shock him again.

Her hand is on his face, light green eyes affectionate looking at his dark brown ones. As if to not startle him, she slowly closes the distance between their bodies, a silent warning of her intentions. Both of their gazes fall to each other's mouths and, at the same time, they seal their warm lips together.

The witch lets out a huffed moan as she feels his tongue entering her mouth, and fiercely returns the kiss. The Darkling is fast to clasp her waist and make their bodies collide even more, whilst her hands grip and pull his black hair. The tiny distance that was separating them is now nonexistent. All the old tension between one another is being expressed without words, the crave for each other finally being satisfied.

When breathing becomes a necessity, they break the kiss, panting. Katherine swears that she is about to faint from happiness; her heart is beating so fast that there is no way this isn't a dream. Almost glowing in joy, she looks at the man only to see him with a genuine shining smile.

"You know—", her voice is husky due to the dryness of her throat "I am still waiting for you to explain how your mind changed, dorogoy."

She can feel Kirigan's hands around her waist going completely still as he hears the affectionate name. Satisfied, she patiently waits for an answer, which is nearly instantly: "That can be arranged, milaya."

However, he doesn't move away to go back to the Little Palace and nor does she. They stay exactly how they are, enjoying each other's company in the peaceful silence. Their foreheads are touching as an assurance for both of them that this is not a dream. This is real, and depending on them, will forever continue to be.

[lindsaywesker]

Good morning!  I hope you slept well and feel rested?  Currently sitting at my desk, in my study, attired only in my blue towelling robe, enjoying my first cuppa of the day.  Happy Hump Day!

Yesterday at college was brilliant!  Really enjoyable classes and the building is full of very cool people.  My beautiful friend Tia De Gannes-McGregor says that my status reminds her of ‘Run’s House’.  Remember Rev. Run sitting in the bath writing messages to his flock?  Man, we loved that show! 

And my beautiful friend Michelle Motley asked if she could have a selfie with me.  She says her family used to listen to Kiss FM and were a bit shocked when she said she was working with Lindsay Wesker.  Michelle asked, “Do you do selfies?”  I showed her all the pics on my phone.  I said to her, “I am The Selfie King!”  We talked about photos and I told her that my mum took thousands of photos when we were growing up, and she’s hung emotional collages all over the house in Hove.  Beautiful memories of special people.  This is why I take selfies. 

I’ll be working from home today but my plan is to find time for a walk.  As we know, April has not been warm but I need to get out there and work those glutes!  This evening, we have dinner with some of our favourite people.  We haven’t had dinner with them for years (literally, years), so we are really looking forward to breaking bread with them!  I shall try not to eat too much but I can’t make any promises.  One of our party will NOT want a selfie but, if you don’t ask, you don’t get!

It was definitely sad to hear about two black music industry deaths in the past few days.  MC Duke (younger brother of one of my besties) was one of the first UK hip hop artists and signed to my cousin Simon Harris’s excellent Music Of Life label.  He paved the way for many.   Also sad to lose top DJ, Roger Johnson, the first DMC World Mixing Champion (1985).  Geezer had skills! 

Have a wonderful and well-endowed Wednesday.  I love you all.  Yes, a crazy, bald man loves and cares about you.  

[freedomarrow]

Headcanons: Leonardo's Heritage

I've been thinking a lot about these things recently, and finally decided to catalogue all of my ideas into a whole post. I've already contradicted myself once on this due to not having my headcanons properly sorted out, so :wahoorat: let's get this bread.

As a disclaimer, all of this is my personal thoughts. Aside from "Leonardo's mother died when he was little and his father & brother died during the Mad King's War", none of this is actually said in the game or dev notes. This is 100% my wheelhouse.

---

Full title: Commander Leonardo von Elessar, Duke Valory

Age: 17 (during the events of Radiant Dawn) → 18 (current)

Timeline:

Begnion Year 631: Leonardo is born. It has been 4 years since Ashnard's ascension to the throne of Daein.

634: Leonardo's mother dies from illness.

641: After receiving some initial education privately at home, Leonardo begins to attend Daein's top military school. He studies combat, strategy, leadership and everything else he will need, with focus on fighting the "sub-humans". From the beginning, he displays a special talent for archery.

644: Ashnard's preparations for war enter the final stage. Leonardo's father and brother are called to service. Leonardo usually lives at the boarding school during this time, but occasionally returns home, where he is taken care of by servants.

645-646: The Mad King's War begins and the events of Path of Radiance take place. In the end, Daein loses the war. Ashnard is killed, and together with him, Leonardo's father and brother. Soon after, as part of Daein's subjugation, the Begnion Occupational Army raids and destroys Leonardo's school, with everyone rounded up to be sent to a prison camp. Leonardo and a few others try to escape, but only he makes it out. He meets Edward, who saves his life. Some time later they run into Nolan, and then Micaiah and Sothe, and the Dawn Brigade is formed. During this time, Leonardo is unable to manage the family lands and doesn't know what's happening over there.

648: The events of Radiant Dawn take place.

Post-Radiant Dawn: Leonardo participates in reconstructing and rebuilding the Daein army, but does not yet feel knowledgeable and experienced enough to take command. Once the situation stabilizes enough for him to leave for a period of time, he travels abroad to Fódlan to complete his education. Having reconnected with some of his family's servants and retainers, he leaves them in charge of his family's lands.

---

FAMILY

Father: Otto von Elessar, duke Valory. A Paladin serving directly under Bryce of the Four Riders, and one of Ashnard's "most elite, handpicked soldiers", to quote the man directly. Proficient in spearmanship and archery. He will have been one of the lance-wielding Paladins killed by the player during the final chapter of Path of Radiance.

Mother: Juna Lorette, noblewoman from Nevassa. Her marriage with Otto was arranged, but genuine love between the two blossomed as well. Died of illness (in my personal headcanon, tuberculosis) when Leonardo was three years old, leaving her husband grief-stricken. Leonardo has only very few vague and unclear memories of her.

Siblings: - Michel von Elessar, older brother serving in the same force as his father. He was 11 years older than Leonardo, making him 24 at the time of his death. He will have been one of the bow-wielding Paladins killed by the player during the final chapter of Path of Radiance. - There was also at least one stillbirth before Leonardo was born.

Other: Leonardo did have some uncles, aunts, cousins etc. in the other noble Houses and families. However, he was not particularly close with most of them, and the majority of them perished either during the Mad King's War, or later as the Begnion Occupational Army was taking over - after all, removing a country's nobility is an important step in eradicating a nation. No one has attempted to make contact with Leonardo since the end of the fighting, and so he believes himself to be alone.

---

NOTABLE SERVANTS

Marion Tavang: Head retainer in the service of House Elessar. Handles all sorts of affairs, helps with the managements of the family's lands, and also played a role in Leonardo's earliest education when he was little, teaching him to read and count. Referred to by Leonardo as "Mr. Tavang" and in turn refers to him affectionately as "Young One", as opposed to the usual "Young Master" used by everyone else. Mr. Tavang has managed to survive all the wars in hiding and reconnected with Leonardo afterwards. At the moment he has fully returned to his work. Leonardo is in constant contact with him - if he's seen sending a letter home, it's probably to Mr. Tavang. (For his appearance, think... kind of like a white-haired Hanneman in a more formal attire. He would have Sage as his class.)

Daria Corvet: A servant to House Elessar, predominantly responsible for cooking for the family, but also helped raise Leonardo in his mother's absence. Leonardo thinks of her as something of an adoptive grandma, and she is also very attached to him. Also survived the wars and was sought out by Mr. Tavang afterwards, and gladly came back to work. Eagerly awaits Leonardo's return home. (For her appearance, basically think Cassita from Fates.)

---

VALORY

A province just to the west of Nevassa itself. Within its borders are both fields and a forest. The people living there grew oats and rye, held animals, hunted in the forest and gathered wood to make a living. While Daein overall is not particularly fertile, this area wasn't too bad.

The relationship between the Elessars and the people living on their lands has always been generally positive, with the dukes refraining from harsh rule or high taxes and doing a good job protecting their people from bandits.

The Elessar manor is located a half-mark from Nevassa.

During Begnion's occupation, as almost all men were put in prison camps, there were nowhere near hands to work, the fields were left to lie fallow; only now have the people been able to return to them. The family manor has suffered damage, with most of its valuables and riches stolen and either used to finance the Begnion Occupational Army or confiscated by the Senators.

After the war, Leonardo does not regain everything that was stolen, because life isn't fair like that of course, but a portion of the family belongings and fortune is restored - though he donated some of the latter to the reconstruction efforts immediately. As it stands, the Elessar manor is being renovated, the fields are being revived, and people in the area are picking their lives back up.

LEONARDO'S CURRENT STATUS & STANDING

As Leonardo never officially renounced his title, he is formally the Duke of Valory. Whether or not he will keep the title, he has still not fully decided.

On the one hand, he doesn't feel like he's prepared and suitable for this responsibility, he quite frankly doesn't know just how attached he feels to these lands anymore, and also staying means he will eventually be pressured into finding a wife and continuing his line.

On the other, he does feel a sense of responsibility for the people who live there, knowing that they survived the war in hopes that someone would return to take care of them, and at the moment, with the help of Mr. Tavang, he appears to be handling it okay, even while studying abroad. He is also aware that, should he want and need help from the Queen, Micaiah would not hesitate to be there for him - though he also believes he shouldn't trouble her with his affairs.

For the time being, he continues to hold the title as the last remaining member of the Elessar family. Once his education is complete (read: should I ever drop him), he will return home and that will most likely be when he makes his final decisions, taking full control of his life.

[ofwishfulthinking]

if you’re hearing HAPPY PLACE by LYRIKAL playing, you have to know ANTOINE ‘TONY’ FORTIER (HE/HIM; CISGENDER MAN) is near by! the 31 year old CASHIER AT COMIC QUEST has been in denver for, like, ONE MONTH. they’re known to be quite FICKLE but being EMPATHETIC seems to balance that out. or maybe it’s the fact that they resemble DREW RAY TANNER. personally, i’d love to know more about them seeing as how they’ve got those HAIR DYED PINK, CHIPPED NAIL POLISH, AND CASUAL AFFECTION vibes. and maybe i’ll get my chance if i hang out around the DOWNTOWN DISTRICT long enough!

Details:

Full name: Antoine Javel Fortier

Born in California, USA to Edgar Fortier (shout out to the people who were here before -- now you get to see a second gen Fortier) and Michelle Benoit

Family history: the Fortiers are a well known family in Southern France due to the international success of their wineries and wine label. As such, the family has amassed a sizeable amount of wealth. In addition, Edgar Fortier founded Sun Wukong Personal Security, Inc., a company which provides personal security services to the rich and regular alike.

Antoine has never wanted for anything in life. Between his parents, his father’s sister, and the Sun Wukong crew (who were more family than employees), he was a coddled pampered child.

Though gentle and empathetic, Tony has a mischievous streak that’s a mile long. He finds himself pulling pranks and doing things that tow the line between legal and illegal just for the sake of doing them.

For years now, he’s spent every summer visiting his father’s cousin, and apprenticing at his company. Just over a years ago, Tony moved to Denver on a more permanent basis. He still hasn’t figured out what he wants to do with his future, but he’s spending his time hanging out in nature, skateboarding, surfing, and just being.

Potential Connections:

rivals

long term friends

surf buddies

roommate

someone he hooked up with whenever he was in town

any and every thing

[thekotaroo]

Profiles of Pride: June 23rd!  🏳️‍🌈Carmen Carrera🏳️‍🌈

Carmen Carrera (born April 13, 1985) is an American reality television personality, model, burlesque performer, and actress, known for appearing on the third season of the Logo reality television series RuPaul's Drag Race, as well as its spin-off series RuPaul's Drag U. Carrera is a transgender woman and a transgender rights activist.

Carrera was born in Elmwood Park, New Jersey. In 2011, she appeared in the third season of the reality television competition show, RuPaul's Drag Race. Carrera is the second contestant in the history of the show (after season three castmate, Shangela) to rejoin the cast after being eliminated, and along with Raja, Manila Luzon, and Delta Work, was part of the clique known as the "Heathers", which took its name from the 1988 film, Heathers. In episode 10, "RuPaul-a-Palooza", Carrera was eliminated for her performance while lip-syncing to a reggae-inspired cover of RuPaul's song "Superstar". Judges Michelle Visage, Santino Rice, and Billy Brasfield voted to re-invite Carrera to the competition in episode 12, "Jocks in Frocks". Subsequently, Carrera was eliminated in that episode after styling a muscular male athlete in her own signature "nude"-style of drag.

Carrera has also been active in AIDS awareness and activism. After being featured in a Gilead Sciences ad titled "Red Ribbon Runway" with fellow Drag Race co-stars Manila Luzon, Delta Work, Shangela Laquifa Wadley, and Alexis Mateo, the dress she wore was auctioned by Logo in commemoration of World AIDS Day. Proceeds from the auction were donated to the National Association of People with AIDS.

On June 11, 2012, Carrera appeared in an episode of the TLC series Cake Boss, "Bar Mitzvah, Beads & Oh Baby!", in which she unknowingly participated in a prank involving "Cousin Anthony" Bellifemine, the cousin of "Cake Boss" Buddy Valastro, who was set up with a date with Carrera. The punchline of the joke had Valastro tell Bellifemine that "... that's a man, baby!" Carrera, however, originally agreed to appear on the program to promote equality for the transgender community, not aware that she would be involved in a joke. Following the airing of the program, Carrera rebuked the situation on Facebook:[

“By calling me a 'MAN' promotes ignorance and makes it ok to call transgender women, men. PEOPLE GET BULLIED, BEAT UP, AND KILLED FOR BEING TRANS BECAUSE OF THIS IGNORANCE! ... I made it VERY clear to the producers on how to use the correct wording before agreeing to filming this but instead they chose to poke fun and be disrespectful. That's not what Im [sic] about! ... I may not have been born a woman, but im [sic] NOT a man. I told them I wouldn't mind if they said 'born male' or 'was a male'. After taking this journey it's not fair at all to be lied to by the producers.”

Valastro subsequently apologized for the incident, saying:

“I owe an apology to the entire LGBT community. It was absolutely not my intention to upset or offend her, or anyone within the community, and I was wrong to use the words I did. I am a supporter of gay rights and equality, and while I regret this situation and my choice of words, I am thankful to have received this feedback and the opportunity to learn from this mistake. I hope that Carmen accepts my sincere regrets.”

In March 2014, Carrera openly criticized RuPaul for use of the pejorative "she-male" on a RuPaul's Drag Race episode. She continued to be critical of RuPaul when the issue arose again in 2015, after Logo pulled the "Female or SheMale" game from DragRace, which prompted RuPaul to defend the use of the word "tranny". Carrera's continued protests led to accusations by others that she was biting the hand that fed her. Carrera responded that, while she appreciates the opportunity to compete on DragRace, she ultimately earned her status through her efforts and those of her agent, friends, fans, and family, and that she was not beholden to support RuPaul's use of transphobic language.

Carrera was featured in the work of photographer David LaChapelle. She posed for a poster for Life Ball, which has two versions; each depicts her with different genitalia to represent the blurring of gender identity.

In 2014, Carrera was included as part of the Advocate's annual "40 under 40" list and made a cameo appearance on Jane the Virgin's premiere episode.

Also in 2014, Carrera was featured on the fifth anniversary cover of C☆NDY magazine along with thirteen other transgender women: Janet Mock, Laverne Cox, Geena Rocero, Isis King, Gisele Alicea, Leyna Ramous, Dina Marie, Nina Poon, Juliana Huxtable, Niki M'nray, Pêche Di, Carmen Xtravaganza and Yasmine Petty.

[happyunbday2u]

I've Always Wanted Brothers

What if Peter-2 (Tobey Maguire) and Peter-3 (Andrew Garfield) were Peter-1 (Tom Holland) brothers? What if they were in Spiderman 1, 2, 3, TASM 1, 2, Homecoming, Far From Home, Captain America: Civil War, Infinity war and endgame.? I say YES. ‘What about No Way Home?’ You’re probably asking. Yeah about that I might have to have some time to think about that one cause so far all I got is either they forget all the Parker brothers, forget just one brother, have one of the brothers die instead of May but still make them forget one of the brothers but I don’t feel like adding any more trauma to my babies.

Did they all wear glasses before becoming spiderman? No. Just Tobey and Andrew except Andrew wore contacts. Why? Cause he’s amazing. Get it?

Anyways names are: Raimiverse, Tobey Maguire Parker Webbverse, Andrew Garfield Parker MCUverse, Peter Holland Parker

First of all for Flash they're all separate people that like to bully the Parkers tho Flash in TASM turned out to be nice guy and for MJ there cousins from their fathers side SM’s Mary-Jane Watson and Homecoming is Michelle Jones Watson, neither parents realized this until after Michelle was born (and this can happen because my cousin has the same god damn name as me, neither of our parents knew because they didn’t keep contact as closely as now)

Aunt May is the one from homecoming because why not and I know that May is younger than the rest and Ben that was shown in the other movies was older but use your imagination and find some actor to replace him because he’s gonna die anyways.

James Harold ‘Harry’ Osborn and Dane Harold ‘Harry Jr’ Osborn are brothers their dad didn’t bother giving them unique middle names and yes I used their actors first names. The Bugle will be the same from Raimiverse and I'm using TASM thing on their dad.

When Tobey was 6, Andrew was 4 and Peter was 3 the beginning scene of The Amazing Spiderman happened, and they were left at Aunt May and Uncle Ben’s house. Also do you remember the part in Ironman 2 when that one kid tried to stop one of the drones WELL since that was confirmed to be Peter he was 6 when this happens, and you can imagine the look and pure FEAR on his 12-year-old and 9-year-old brothers face's during that.

The timeline has been kinda changed around (thank god for Google, if you want know search up ‘what year does (movie name) take place’) and the age difference is this. Tobey is older then Andrew by 3 years and Andrew is older then Peter by also 3 years

Spiderman 1 2013 (Ages: Tobey; 17-18. Andrew; 14. Peter; 10-11) The Amazing Spider-Man 2015 (Tobey; 20. Andrew; 17. Peter; 13-14) Spider-man 2 2015 (Tobey; 20-21. Andrew; 17. Peter; 14) Spider-man 3 and TASM 2 borderline of 2015-2016, (Tobey; 21. Andrew; 17-18. Peter; 14) Captain America Civil War 2016 (Tobey; 21. Andrew; 18. Peter; 15) Homecoming 2016 (Tobey; 21. Andrew; 18. Peter; 15) Infinity War 2018 (Tobey; 23. Andrew; 20. Peter; 17) Yes Peter, and I’m pretty sure May, still do get snapped while the older two do not. Endgame 2023 (Tobey; 28. Andrew; 25. Peter; 17) Peter now calls them old men

Far From Home 2024, if Beck never revealed Spider-Man(Men?)’s identity and cause No Way Home to happen cause dear lord that is too much to think about (Tobey; 29. Andrew; 26. Peter; 18)

2013: At seventeen Tobey (A.P 14. P.P 13) visited the Lab with his friend James Harold ‘Harry’ Osborn and the rest of his class they were shown the spiders and you know just basically everything that happened in the movie happens.

2015: Two years later Tobey moved back in with his family to help with bills and The Amazing Spiderman starts just like the movie but Ben is replaced with Tobey who recognizes the effects after Andrew is bitten but says nothing. He becomes spiderman as well making the same suit, so it doesn’t look like there’s more than one Spiderman, in the part where Ben got shot is actually none other then Tobey Parker and of course he survives and no one wonders where Spider-Man is cause Andrew is being Spider-Man.

2015: then the events of Spiderman 2 happen, Tobey goes to collage Aunt May convinces him that he should move out and learn to live by himself in the end he tells Andrew about his alter ego and already knew about Andrew and just didn't say anything until he thought he was ready, and they make an alliance for one of them to go during the school, afternoon, and switch nights. Peter turns 16.

2015-2016: Then Spiderman 3 happens, it stays the same since during bully Maguire parts he stop all contact with his family and either way at the same time on the other side of New York TASM 2 is happening. They end at the same time because from the distance after Harry dies they can see all the lights from Electro and being the big brother he has to leave tho he doesn’t want to leave MJ but she forces him to go, when he makes it there he finds his little brother hunched over the body of Gwen and Tobey helps Andrew deal with her death. Andrew tells him and Peter on what he found of about their dad, at the same time Peter decides to confront them about all their secrets and how he’s been keeping tabs about all of it. They tell him all about it and let’s say they had to bribe him and threaten him A LOT so he wouldn’t say anything to May on purpose or on "accident" but Peter understood, he just wanted the money. Andrew turned 18 in the middle of it all, probobly before or after the graduation scene.

2016: Before Captain America Civil War when Peter got his powers was when his class took a trip to the same lab as Tobey but more improved so the spider that had given Tobey his powers was no longer shown in the same room but in a sperate one where they would harm any students, Peter ended up doing the same thing that Andrew did and snuck into the room where the spiders were and low and behold one was out, bit the young Parker who became the next Spiderman and got a full on yell by both his brothers for willingly turning into Spider-Man. After a lot of convincing he told his brothers he could handle it and besides they both needed a break after the loss of their loved ones, and definitely Tobey cause he hasn’t taken a single break since he lost his powers in the second movie…

Then Civil War happened. Tony thought what everyone thought. That there was only one spiderman and when he found out that he (or at least one of them) was Peter Parker he knew what to say to the kid one what he gathered was that his brothers had moved out and he lived with Aunt, so it was quite a shocker when he found out that the two had moved back in with May to help pay bills. Another shocker was when they insisted on companying him to his room. Another not so much shocker was the fact they knew that he was spiderman. The very BIG shocker was when Tony had tried leaving only to be webbed to the wall they the other two and find out all THREE OF THEM were Spider-Man. Of course after a lot of convincing, mostly convincing Tobey, all three of them took on the ‘internship’.

2016: Finally, Spiderman Homecoming happens and its all the same just with overprotective brothers and mentors

2018: Infinity War where only Peter Parker gets Blipped. YEAH THAT’S RIGHT! I’M NOT ONLY CAUSING TONY THE PAIN HE FELT WHEN PETER GOT BLIPPED! I’M FUCKING MAKING TOBEY AND ANDREW FEEL IT BUT NOT KNOW IT CAUSE THEY WERE ON EARTH WHEN PETER GOT BLIPPED!HAHAHAHAHHA angst! =D

In Endgame after those five years Tobey is in an off and on type of relationship in being Spider-Man while Andrew barely has any time to be Andrew Parker but when Steve, Natasha and Scott finds the two and tells them the plan they are on BOARD with it. They gonna get their brother and aunt back if it’s the last thing they do, also im pretty sure Aunt May got blipped if ya’ll are confused, around 70% sure. I’m thinking of a version where Tony does die and a bonus one where he doesn’t because we all need that IronDad and Spider-Son(s?) moment.

Far From Home is when he did die.

Also IF one of ya'll were thinking I'd add Tom Hardy's Eddie Brock you thought right. It's small tho. So imagine him being their mom or dad's friend's kid who lived in San Francisco or something like that and he was a teen when the Parker's were kids so they're like non blood related cousins OR he's the non blood related cool Uncle with a parasite who loves his nephews.

Oh also to the ones who actually read it and are also Star Wars fans

[capsensislagamoprh]

The officiant was late, because of course he was. Victor paced the floor boards raw as Christophe made call after call. Phichit was doing his best to keep Yuuri from turning himself into a blanket burrito, both the groom's parents were trying to sooth and encourage at the same time. Frustrated beyond his jovial smiles, Christophe took his cell outside, making yet another fruitless call to figure out what was going on. A glance at Yuri as he passed by made him quite sympathetic to the youth's forever need to throw his favorite device into space.

In the distance he could see Mila, Otabek, and Georgi setting up last minute things. Mila was dressed resplendently in a showy little number, Georgi in a suit, collar open, tie hanging about his neck. Something he could solve might help him think of a new solution. Quickly he made his way over, eyeing things as he went. It was luxurious and a bit fantastical, the scene. A beach, flowers, pavilions and chairs, a path made of the lushest fabric set over thin boards to give stability to the presession. Oh, how it struck his romantic heart. Gripping Georgi's shoulder he turned the man towards him. "We have thirty minutes. I can't find the preacher. You are still improperly dressed. Let me solve this one thing, please. I cannot feel like a failure of a best man on my best friend's wedding day."

"What do you mean you can't find the preacher?"

"The officiant is a no show, and I can't get a hold of anyone to find out why."

"Oh shit. That's..." Mila's eyes went wide as she held a now empty box. She'd been putting out fresh sprigs of blooms along the outer row of chairs to add that certain elegance.

"We have to do something," Georgi added as Christophe buttoned him up. "What have you tried?"

"Called everywhere I could think of. I tried to get a replacement. Phichit has his hands full keeping the groom from having an aneurysm. I am not sure the floors will survive Victor's pacing."

"Well... shit," Mila cursed, the box now broke down. "I don't suppose any of us know anyone this last minute do we?"

Christophe shook his head. "I asked. No one does. It's short notice and we're out of time."

Georgi looked at Mila, who looked around, trying hard to find something that could help. Some solutions. Yuri stood by the onsen, pacing back and forth, holding the bouquet, muttering with a murdery scowl. Best not to ask there. She could see Yakov arriving with Madame Baranovskaya. Her gaze ran away from them before they could smell fear. Mari popped into view, welcoming the new arrivals. Then there was Sarah and her brother Michele. Ah, beautiful, wonderful Sarah who smiled and waved when she saw Mila, heading down the sand in her cute little gold sandals.

Christoph turned and smiled. "Hello, Sarah."

The Italian woman beamed at them, until slowly her smile faltered. "What is wrong?"

"We don't have a preacher!" Georgi cried, swiping at his eyes on his sleeves. "It's tragic!"

Mila put an arm about the weeping man's shoulders. "No one knows what happened."

Sarah blinked. "Oh! Tragic!" A moment later she beamed again. "Un pensiero! Do you have the computer?"

"I think Otabek is hooking his laptop up to the sound system now..."

"Bene! This will do! Come! We do this when my cousin had something like this happen! It is simple, easy. Only need to pay."

Curious, the trio made haste to follow the glowing brunette past the wedding aria, into a pavilion set up for reception ahead of time. Inside Otabek was just finishing the last cord connections and sound checks, his laptop sitting on the side of the rig like a jet black blessing from the wedding gods.

"SÌ! Molto bene! Esattamente what we need, si?" Sarah seemed to float over to the set up, tapping the Kazakh's shoulder with a quick lean forward. Otabek's head snapped around, dark eyes biting into the scene. Slowly he turned, removing his headphones.

"Can I help you?"

"We can use, si?" Sarah asked, motioning to the laptop. Otabek's stare was unreadable. Catching Christophe's eye he took a breath.

"Why?"

"We have a small issue -" Christophe began.

"Tinny," Mila added, pinching her fingers together.

"It's Tragic! You Have to Help!" Georgi wailed.

Christophe smiled brilliantly as he squeezed his arm around Georgi's waist. Tightly. "Lovely Sarah," the woman preened sweetly, "has a solution."

"That involves my laptop."

"Si! Il tuo portatile," she beamed, motioning to the device. When he said nothing, she explained with her brows high, eyes widely pleading. The Kazakh waited, calmly ignoring the rising panic in Georgi's dramatic sobs as Sarah spoke. "We get the officiant certificate online, yes? Then anyone can do this!"

"Why, tho?"

Everyone looked blankly at the tanned man, unable to understand why 'Why' was even a question. He sighed.

"There is no wedding officiant needed in Japan. This ceremony is not legally binding. You only need the paperwork for that. The ceremony we're attending is just for show. It's very flexible. It is just so the couple can have fun announcing their marriage in front of witnesses, which are the guests. Usually this sort of thing takes place at lunch or dinner, at a traditional ryotei, whichever they choose. This," he motioned to the many decorations and silk hangings, "is mostly for the public spectacle. The certificates have been signed for months. They did the exchange of nuptial cups a few weeks back. Anyone can perform this event. You don't need anything special for it. Not with these circumstances."

"We don't?" Sarah asked, curiously excited. "How marvelous!" Turning towards the others she beamed. "Who will do this? Oh it must be someone special! I know! You will do it, no?"

Christophe blinked. "I am already the best man."

"No! No, no! Christophe! Think on it! To be the best man, you must do what is necessary. You will do this, si? Save the day with this, testimone? It is for you!"

Mila grinned. "Come on, Christophe. You're all about the romanticism. And wouldn't that be a surprise? Even for our Victor?"

"Please?" Georgi pleaded. "You can't let love stumble at the finish line."

A clamoring of voices caused Christophe to pull back, considering deeply. He adored the idea. To marry his best friend to the love of his life; to have such a significant role. But what about his current position? Then he caught the way Otabek was staring at him, the slight jerk of his head towards the onsen where Yuri was still pacing back and forth, dreading. Two birds and one stone? A smile curled his lips before his eyes sparkled. He'd still make Yuri hold the flowers. Just a smidge of pay back.

"Very well. Let us give Victor a taste of the unexpected." Sarah clapped her hands with a small jump, delighted.

"I am so excited!"

His setup safe, Otabek left them to it, heading inside to change.

part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8, part 9, part 10, part 11, part 12, part 13

[theultimatefan]

Tomei, Tudyk, Trejo, Swallow Among Additions to FAN EXPO Philadelphia In Next Wave of Celebrities

Academy Award winner Marisa Tomei (My Cousin Vinny, The Wrestler) and fan favorites Alan Tudyk (Rogue One: A Star Wars Story, “Firefly”), Danny Trejo (Machete, The Book of Boba Fett), Emily Swallow (“The Mandalorian,” “Supernatural”) and Jeff Ward (“One Piece,” “Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.”) are among the additions to the growing celebrity lineup at FAN EXPO Philadelphia, set for May 3-5 at the Pennsylvania Convention Center. Joonas Suotamo (Star Wars) and Diana Lee Inosanto (“Ahsoka”) round out the newcomers to the roster.

Marisa Tomei blasted onto the scene with her Academy Award winning performance as “Mona Lisa Vito” opposite Joe Pesci in My Cousin Vinny. After the Best Supporting Actress win, she went on to roles in Chaplin, Untamed Heart and the Paper, later appearing on Broadway before earning two more Oscar nominations, the third for The Wrestler. She also had a recurring role in the hit series “Empire” and appeared as “Aunt May” in three Spider-Man blockbusters.

Alan Tudyk gained fans’ attention when he starred as wise-cracking "Hoban 'Wash' Washburne" in "Firefly" and Serenity, and later grabbed the “Star Wars” fandom with his portrayal of “K-2SO” in Rogue One. He also appeared in Wreck it Ralph and 42 and has lent his voice to characters in hits like “American Dad,” “Harley Quinn,” “Transformers: Earthspeak” and “Star vs. the Forces of Evil.”

Danny Trejo has developed a prolific career in the entertainment industry with a hard-earned and atypical road to success. From years of imprisonment to helping troubled youth battle drug addictions, from acting to producing, and now on to restaurant ventures, Trejo’s name, face, and achievements are well recognized in Hollywood and beyond. He has starred in dozens of films including Desperado, Heat, the From Dusk Till Dawn series, Con Air, Once Upon A Time In Mexico, the Spy Kids movies, Machete and many more.

With her portrayal of “The Armorer” in “The Mandalorian” in the hit Netflix series “The Mandalorian,” Emily Swallow added another role to her growing resume. She also appeared as “Kim Fischer,” a regular on “The Mentalist” and as “Amara / The Darkness” in the 11th season of “Supernatural.” She also voiced the role of “Lisa Tepes” in the animated Netflix fantasy action series “Castlevania.”

Jeff Ward played “Deke Shaw” as a regular on “Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.” from 2017-2020, and most recently appeared in the first season of the Netflix adventure/comedy “One Piece.” Fans will also recognize him from his work in “Brand New Cherry Flavor” and the TV movie Manson’s Lost Girls, where he gave an appropriately creepy performance as the cult leader.

Joonas Suotamo has assumed the mantle of the iconic role of “Chewbacca” in numerous iterations of the Star Wars saga since first appearing as the Wookiee in Episode VII – The Force Awakens in 2015. The Finnish actor also stepped out of the familiar character to appear in four episodes of the Disney series “Willow.”

Diana Lee Inosanto appears as “Morgan Elsbeth” in the Star Wars “Ahsoka” production on Disney+, opposite Rosario Dawson, David Tennant and Mary Elizabeth Winstead. She originated that role in an episode of “Mandalorian” in 2020 after appearing in dozens of movies and shows as a stunt person and a variety of other entertainment jobs.

They join a lineup that already includes headliners Mario Lopez (“Saved by the Bell,” “Access Hollywood”), Sean Gunn (Guardians of the Galaxy, “Gilmore Girls”), Felicia Day (“The Guild,” “Dragon Age: Redemption”), Ben McKenzie (“Gotham,” “The O.C.”), Holly Marie Combs (“Charmed,” “Picket Fences”), Adam Savage (“MythBusters,” “Unchained Reaction”), Michelle Hurd (“Star Trek: Picard,” “Law & Order: SVU”), Sofia Boutella (Rebel Moon, The Mummy) and Jason Lee (“My Name is Earl,” The Incredibles).

Single-Day Tickets, Three-Day Passes, Ultimate Fan and VIP Packages for FAN EXPO Philadelphia are available now. Advance pricing is available until April 18. More guest news will be released in the following weeks, including line-up reveals for additional headline celebrities, comic creator guests, voice actors and cosplayers.

Philadelphia is the eighth event on the 2024 FAN EXPO HQ calendar; the full schedule is available at fanexpohq.com/home/events/.

[biffsposts]

2023 Best Of

Old Head Favorites

Damien Jurado came out with three albums this year but my favorite by far is Motorcycle Madness. It might be one of my favorites all time by him. It is hard to describe but it has a real jazz noir feel to it, yet it is warm and inviting like getting dropped into the recording sessions with the musicians. I can’t recommend it enough but it might take a few listens to truly appreciate. The National came out with two albums this year and I loved both of them but Laugh Track is the better of the two. Not as monochromatic as Frankenstein. Yo La Tengo’s This Stupid World was the first album I fell in love with this year. I describe albums like this as comfort food but this one is your favorite sweater album, warm, familiar and comfortable.  Aselestine is gorgeous.  Cate Le Bon reinvigorated Wilco with some studio weirdness that they’ve been lacking since A Ghost is Born. That is not to say I haven’t loved other albums since but it is refreshing to see an opener like Infinite Surprise. Cousin has a bite to it. A reinvigorated Blur is great too. The Ballad of Darren is my go album to when I don’t know what I want to listen to. It is consistent all the way through and its great to have them back.

Rap

Rap did not have a giant release that hit this year. I am more than fine with that.  I’ve been digging the underground for years and there is not a better underground rapper the past ten years then Billy Woods! The man is poet and sage. His rhymes are so dense and rich with double and triple meanings that it takes many, many listens to unpack but his flow and cadence is always instant so every listen including the first are very rewarding. Kenny Segal is an amazing producer and he and the Alchemist are the two best in the game right now. Segal mixes up the production from Acid Jazz Frenzies to drone loops and Woods handles each curveball deftly and confidently. His other album We Buy Diabetic Test Strips with his partner Elucid as Armand Hammer also deserves your time as well as features like the opener on my next favorite rap album of the year, The Aux by Blockhead. If you want to know how strong Rap is right now just listen to this album. It is a who’s who of the underground rap scene. With Woods, Aesop Rock, Navy Blue, Danny Brown, Bruiser Wolf, Open Mike Eagle you can’t go wrong on a single track. The production is incredible and if I said Segal and Alchemist are tops, Blockhead is not far behind if not behind at all (as I write this I am convincing myself that this album is on those two’s level production wise). Speaking of The Alchemist his hidden album with Earl Sweatshirt was finally revealed and it lives up the hype and exceeds it.  Earl is in his bag on this album and he is lively and warm, fatherhood has done him well! I love short Rap albums that play like punk rock albums and this one is the best of them this year 2-3-minute songs, 11 songs under 30 minutes is my jam. Vin Skully is one my favorite songs of the year. Black Thought continues his reign as the most consistently solid emcee of my generation.  With every output he cements himself as a top 5 rapper of all time, this time teaming up with the amazing El Michels Affair. This pairing is perfect and feeds my need for the rap I grew up on while also sounding current and vital. Navy Blue rounds of the top five with Ways of Knowing. I have loved watching Navy grow with each release and this is his best to date. The live instrumentation adds a warmth to his reflections on family and life.  I love the positivity and gratitude weaved throughout this one.

Jazz Hybrids

I am getting more and more into jazz with every trip around the sun. I know I’m getting old when I crave hot dogs, McDonalds cheeseburgers and can watch almost every Dodger game from start to finish, now throw in Jazz and I’m almost officially retired.  However, these are not Jazz albums in the purest sense they are rap, electronic, blues hybrid that meet jazz in an abstract way.  McKinley Dixon’s Beloved! Paradise! Jazz!? is another under 30-minute rap meets jazz album that I absolutely love. Conscious hip hop meets jazz almost in the vein of Guru’s Jazzmatazz records but this one has more of a theme centered around three novels by Toni Morrison. The album is concise and dense and being under 30 minutes leaves listener wanting more. Sparkle Division’s Foxy was a very welcome surprise this year. Jazz meets electronica. Apparently, this album is about a hangover post a debauched Hollywood evening but I don’t get that in fact I would welcome hangovers if they felt like this. Astral wanderings are how I’d describe it, getting lost in introspection and losing track of time and space. A great jogging album.  If you liked the instrumentation on To Pimp a Butterfly but wish it was even jazzier and out there then Kassa Overall’s Animals might be for you. Now I’m not saying this album is on that level but it is in that vein. Danny Brown featuring on Clock Ticking is a top ten song this year. Another cosmic adventure in this jazz hybrid feature is Spirits’ The Circling Sun. Piano, Bass and drums are the backbones of this album but the flutes, keyboards and other instrumentation provide the fuel this album uses to take you on a lovely trip.  Finally, we have Lonnie Holley who blends jazz, blues, spoken word poetry to create a lush history lesson.  It is important to never forget this country horrific past in regards to slavery, racism, and oppression. Oh Me, Oh My is a beautiful reminder of that struggle that offers hope and beauty, and how art is our way to reconciliation. Art and beauty connect our humanity and if we focus on that, there are many bridges that can be repaired.

Shoegaze adjacent

I don’t know what Shoegaze is anymore but I do know if it is a descriptor I’ll give it a try.  Wall of sound, crashing and sweeping distorted guitars, propulsive rhythms are all things I like and these albums have different elements of shoegaze but are probably not all shoegaze by purists’ standards.  Slowdive’s everything is alive might be the album I listened to most this year. I have always loved this band and it amazing that they keep getting better 32 years since they first started and with a 22-year break before it second to last album. This album shimmers and shines with joy and peace.  It is the sound of how I want to age with grace and some new surprises that keep things fresh.  Prayer Remembered is a top ten song of the year. Speaking of coming back from a long hiatus Drop Nineteen return with their first album in thirty years. Full transparency I had never heard of this band prior to this year but I’m glad I was introduced to them this year. I know nostalgia can be a dirty word but this album is the best sense of the word. Hard Light intertwines Shoegaze elements while the lyrics celebrate past glories with a current sound invoking a sense of longing and reflection but grounded in the present and embracing it.  Hotline TNT’s Cartwheel and Dogears’ Blockbuster bring a more poppier sound to this group, like emo meets shoegaze. My friend Antony described Blockbuster as Clarity meets 100 broken windows and that was all I needed to dive in and I’ve been swimming with it since August. Hotline TNT is like No Joy or Clairo meets Siamese Dream. Dreamy atmospheres, textured guitars and introspective lyrics. Speaking of Dreamy atmospheres Parannoul’s After the Magic is as dreamy as it gets.  I’ve been a big fan of Parannoul’s shoegaze bliss since I first heard To See the Next Part of the Dream. His new album, although still very shoegazy, adds more melody and bedroom pop into the mix.  The lyrics are entirely in Korean and like Sigur Ros I have no idea what he is singing about and I really like that aspect of this album, the vocals are just another instrument.

Experimental (I Guess)

Experimental is a very loose term to describe these albums, but I don’t know how else to label them.  Avant-Garde might be a better term as they take traditional genres and push and stretch them into new directions. Los Angeles by Jackknife Lee, Lol Tolhurst (The Cure Drummer), and Budgie (Siouxsie and the Creatures drummer) is a great collaborative album. Many guest singers including James Murphy, Isaac Brock, The Edge and Lonnie Holley provide variety to the percussion, electronic grooves of this album.  My friend Aaron described it as LCD meets Fugazi meets Blur or U2.  If that is your jam check this one out, it does not disappoint.  Young Fathers’ Heavy Heavy combine elements of indie, rap, funk and soul to create a great groove album. I put this album on every time I want to be put in a good mood, I can’t help to dance when this one is on. Algiers’ Shook like Los Angeles is collaborative effort. This album reminds me of a patchwork quilt with different pieces yielding to one overarching blanket, every guest adds some different textures but it is still Algiers dark yet hopeful view of the current and the future. Green Iris is a top ten song of the year. Yves Tumor, like Prince before them is genre unto themselves. For this album they tackle their own Gospel with some Shoegaze and elements of soul and glam. It really is something you have to hear to understand and decided if it is for you.  It is fascinating to me and plus they put on an incredible live show. The final album in this Category is Maria BC’s Spike Field. This is an avant-garde folk album in the same style as Grouper. The out of tune piano is featured in most songs and the lyrics are brooding contemplative.  I have fallen asleep to this album more then any other this year and it always yields strange dreams.