#could not pay me to care i guess
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searched zukka on twitter to find some cute art and i got blasted with an immense amount of hate like jfc girl it's not that serious
#three guesses which fans were spreading the hate btw!#seeing people reduce it to z*tara but yaoi is driving my blood pressure up !#because it's not that they're guys jfc#whatever#could not pay me to care i guess#i will not rehash the same arguments we've been seeing since 2007#i like zukka bc it's FUN it's CUTE and I'm a GUY who likes GUYS KISSING#I don't like one or two other ships bc the way they're PRESENTED among many other things#whatever. WHATEVER!!#atla discourse#i GUESS
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Sometimes I want to bring Morrigan but then I remember I play as a face-tanking rogue and I bring Wynne. Warden Cousland, Morrigan, Wynne / Dragon Age Origins (c) Bioware
#dragon age#dragon age fan art#comic#morrigan#warden cousland#healer#bioware#dao#dragon age origins#hero of ferelden#cousland#wynne#I'm back. I guess.#I did not notice at first but apparently I took a break from tumblr. I've already had several breakdowns over the dashboard.#(turns out I was on the 'for you' tab rather than the 'following' tab. the theme had changed as well. absolutely insufferable.)#I've felt really unconnected for a while but it actually feels better now? as if my tumblr mutuals was the missing link.#very healthy and hot of me ngl#so. I had a two week holiday this year and they were instantly slurped up. it went so fast!#there was this big football thing the week before my holiday - basically teams of teens come from all around the world to play etc.#I heard a girl tell her teammates that 'I'd love to travel on this bus every morning; happy people all around you; just add some music...'#she was also very excited when the bridge opened. the 'happy people' around her sighed bitterly and leaned back for a ten minute wait.#it is thankfully over now. the bus home is no longer stuffed full of football teams. but it's a fun experience for the players etc etc etc#well. in other thrilling news I went to spy on our sister shops during my time off. to see what they do differently. maybe steal some ideas#one store was like an instagram post with fancy teacups and stylish outfits. who knew a second-hand store could be so boring.#the other was like a man-cave with furniture and a passively-aggressive note by the toys stating that 'if u break it u pay. idiot. tnx<3'.#the man-cave was my favourite :)#rant over now! take care and bye etc!
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sometimes looking at like Self Help Strategies lists for the symptoms I'm having is always just like:
thing that I already do
thing I have tried 10 times
thing I already do
thing that I don't have the money to do
thing I already do
thing I've been doing since I was 10yrs old to no avail
thing that is impossible given my situation
thing that doesn't apply to me
thing that I already do
thing I have already tried
hrmm, oh wait, maybe finally- OH, yeah.. okay. thing that I already do but it was just phrased slightly differently
thing I have already done
#I think maybe productivity tips help less if the reason you're unproductive is partially like.. physcial health and other extenral things#out of your control. rather than just like having trouble paying attention or spending too much time on tiktok or whatever#all the strategic to do lists in the world are not going to somehow prevent me from waking up with a debilitating migraine or whatever#or having external stressors or lacking resources and connections or other Productivity Essentials etc.#especially many tips involve stuff like 'cut off from social media' since thats the modern day time waster for so many poeple#and it's like.. lol.. i can hardly even maintain a blog even thuogh i actively WANT TO DO SO. 'shut off your smart phone!' already#done babey i fucking hate smart phones i shall never use an app unless i am forced to. 'delete tiktok' yep. already covered. tiktok and#all of those thinsg are my enemies. 'save money by cancelling some of your services' cool. already ahead of you.#who the fuck is out here paying for like 10 different subscription services. pirated videos uploaded to google drive and youtube to mp3#my beloved. etc. etc. and so on. 'socialize less' .........LOL.. if only you knew.. mr.writer of the article. i can barely muster#talking to friends more than once a month and even less if I'm actively sick (often occurence) etc. etc. ... hewoo#I think maybe instead of generic productivity tips I need more like.. how to refocus and be productive anyway even if you have a headache#or are nauseous or etc. Not that those are always things to ignore. and of course you should let your body rest and etc. But plenty of peop#e have mild physical symptoms and just work through them. Ithink something about the way my body/mind is SOO hyper attuned to all#sensory information just makes it like... constantly 'GRR well I cant focus on WRITING right now because my lef#t ear feels weird and my socks are too itchy and my back has a strange pressure and I'm vaguely warm and my eye feels some ssort of#way it doesnt normally feel and I'm hyperaware of my breathing and also nauseous for no reason' and like half of those things I#think '''normal''' people wouldnt even notice or at least would be able to just live through. but for me it's like.. nealry impossible to i#gnore and soooo distracting always. like 'wahh.. nooo we can't draw or get anything done.. my legs feel slightly heavy or something!!'#like............. ok......... who cares. thats not even a PAIN sensation it's just something weird. but it's just like.. NO. constant#mental alerts about the 'heaviness' of your legs be upon ye. Though Imean like.. yes.. 70% of the time I am in genuine pain#or having some sort of actual ailment with trackable physical symptoms. but sometimes it's just like... we could totally be working right#now and ignoring this silly thing but my brain is fixated on it for no reason uncontrollably. etc. etc. I guess it's the same way that like#most people can go to a grocery store without the whole experience being so overwhelming and so much stuff going on at once#that they have to rest afterwards but like.. in my own HOME doing NOTHING i feel like I should be able to not get overwhelmed lol. ANYWAY#Rolling my bastard little rock up a dumbass hill and so on and so forth
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animal jam is a lot more fun when you're rich
#seriously notp is making me RICH on ajpw#i can get like. one corruption orb per hour of playing dungeons. the super sweets prizes?? got an alpha after like 5 rounds. got soo many#rares from that too.....#and now i'm like. oh i want to play as a dragon? don't have to wait two weeks to save the sapphires! i can buy it now!!#looking for a cool specific piece of clothing for my outfit? i can just buy it right now!! without worrying about the price!!!#i'm seriously considering buying an alpha. just like. snooping on explorer looking at the different wizard hats for when i sell mines#(i'm not That rich lol)#kind of disappointing anyways. like. it's easy to grind this stuff when you're not a kid but it must take so long for kids to do this!!#most of the people in this game get rich by paying money!! and like#i was always a nm on classic and while they are definitely more pay to play it was like. you could have so much fun and still be poor#play wild it's like. you do get all these features but so much of it is focused on Buying. like the only non purchase stuff i can think of#is crafting ???? and the phantom dungeons.. and the minigames. and talking to people i guess.#but like honestlyyy people only really care about the items and getting items and what items are coming out next month?? and what animals??#what new effects can i get for my pets for my items??? AUGHHHHHHHHHHHH#idk. idk. i know animal jam is far past its glory days and it needs to do this to survive. and i definitely do not want this game to die.#but it is really going full capitalism mode. and i think the content and the players and the devs are really suffering from that. idk.#jamblr#i do really enjoy doing the nonogram puzzles and i absolutely love the dungeons. i'm glad they give me stuff to sell. but man. i kind of ju#t wish it wasn't so much like this yknow#ramblings#bangers
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JoJo Siwa doesn’t deserve all the hate (and homophobia) she’s getting for her style and music; but she does deserve scrutiny for defending Colleen Ballinger and being both active and complicit in abuse that happened on her TV show. Like the girl has been under the public eye in unhealthy environments all her life; cut her some slack — not too much; she’s still a responsible adult — but if you’re going to dogpile her, then at least dogpile her for the right reasons. Jesus Fucking Christ.
#jojo siwa#discourse#Her comment sections are VILE#I actually don’t hate her songs. They’re basically early-2000s new old stock and I like early 2000s music#Is she trying too hard to look like an “adult?” Yes. But that’s understandable.#What isn’t understandable is screaming at children for no fucking reason#and JoJo not helping at all when a girl was hemorrhaging out her belly button#when JoJo’s mother told the girl to “put a pad on it”#I don’t care how afraid you are of your parents; you END that shit the second you see it#I was raised in a cult and I actively sabotaged my parents’ preaching work on multiple occasions#I didn’t know if I’d get kicked out if they found out I did that; the only reason I still have a relationship with them#is because they never found out about my later sabotage#Dad preached to a waitress dangling a cure for her sons’ disorder in front of her nose as incentive to join and gave her literature#So I went to the restaurant with him and insisted I pay for the tip.#I gave her eight dollars and a sticky note with a bunch of keywords about the cult’s abuses to look up#The next time I went there#she said didn’t understand the sticky note and asked me while he was gone what I meant#I hate talking to people especially when I’m under pressure because I trip over my words even when I’m NOT anxious#But her kids’ lives being free of a cult meant more to me than avoiding a momentary discomfort so I gave a quick rundown#She thanked me and heeded my warning basically playing along with me and not saying anything to my dad about it#I was 20; JoJo was about 19 when her show was going on#She had no excuse for allowing her mom to do that.#At the very least she could have said “Oh god I’m so sorry she said that. Please don’t hurt yourself for my show; go to the hospital.”#But no. She didn’t do that. In fact she screamed at children and joked that if they were crying then it was a good show.#Bitch come here and do that in front of me. I double dog dare you. I may only be 5’5” but I fight dirty and I’m angrier than you#Sorry. I guess I do hate her… for THAT specifically.#Like yeah I’ve fucked up with the kids I help and yelled when I didn’t have to but I HATED doing it and tried to do better later#Why someone would SCREAM at kids on purpose for long periods of time for no reason is beyond me
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LMAO i just saw this girl on tiktok write out her dream lifestyle and how much she would need to make for it. and she got 215k a year. so just for fun i was like ok let me throw out some crazy numbers. the most extravagant life that i can imagine living. and it came out to 50k a year😭
#this is why i truly think i will be ok on a teacher’s salary#bc i have been paying for all of my bills since i was 18 on a MUCH lower amount of money#i tried to imagine spending like. 500-600 a month on groceries and it was unthinkable#and giving myself 5k a year for vacations??#i could even go international with that#And this is with like. aggressively paying down my debt#it’s not counting medical tho. but then again i literally do not go to the doctor ever even if i’m dying#which all my friends are concerned about but it is ingrained in me and i cannot change it#cant afford it anyway so like. whatever#i either die or not i guess#anyway this does make me feel better bc at the very least even if i can’t find a college/university job after grad school#i should be very ok on a teacher’s salary#ik no one cares but. it is the middle of the night and who would i be if not a rambler and a worrier#personal
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do i really want to make individual drinks again
#reaching back into the file cabinets of my mind to remember how i made certain drinks when i worked at the cafe#in preparation for the possibility of this new job#it would certainly mean far less goofing off time than i have at my current job. and i value my goofing off time dearly#but the people here are so fucking annoying lmao. i hate them soooo much#not that the people at this new job would be any better. we're still dealing with investment bankers#godddddd. what i really would want (which would be impossible)#would be to go back to working at the cafe but like. still have paid time off and insurance lmao#but the cafe was a small business and he was not offering paid time off and insurance. and the pay was way less#but i did get to play whatever music i wanted. unfortunately you cant live on that#like i can always say no to this new job if its offered to me. but is my goofing off time worth:#2 dollars less in pay and a half hour to an hour's more commute. well i dont know#a shorter commute would mean i could sleep more. and have more time at home .#i mean i probably don't Need all this goofing off time. but its nice#i dont knowwwwwww#like even though im a bit nervous abt doing it again i know that i would easily fall back into the routine of making drinks#which i was fairly good at. my one drawback is that i cant do latte art but i dont know that theyd really care here#and (because i found the menu of where id work) theres not a ton of drink options?? just the standard stuff#its being called a starbucks cafe but 1) its not managed by them and 2) it does not have their 5 billion drink options#so thats good. less to worry about#doesnt look like i even have to make anything foodwise which i had to at the cafe#here it looks like people can just buy a pastry and thats it#the hours are like. the same i work now. also good#sorry im like using this post to think through my thoughts.#uhhhh oh i looked up the manager who looks like a weenie so im not keen on the prospect of interviewing with him#but i probably would have thought that about my current manager if id seen a pic of him prior to interviewing. i guess???#and with these kind of catering units it seems you dont often deal directly with the manager that much anyway#i just gotta see if i get good vibes#rn i have unsure vibes. but i need a sign to see if this could be good for me#oh id also save money on transportation. and taxes! bc i wouldnt be working in ny anymore#lol oops tag limit. well i hope you enjoyed my job thoughts you probably didnt i know i didnt
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it's like. everything happens so much. it's all happening right now but at the same time nothing is happening whatsoever. it's a liminal space of an existence. it's slowly crushing me under the weight but when I look up there's nothing actually bearing down on me. there shouldn't be any weight. something is wrong but nothing has happened. I'm simultaneously overwhelmed and utterly bored. nothing is happening and maybe that's the everything that's happening. maybe the everything is the nothing. we aren't there yet but it's all so imminent. either everything is going to crash down or nothing is. I'm just waiting to figure out which.
#I refuse to be upset at anyone. I have so much love in my heart#but I'm going to pack formal clothes for my sister in my own bag just in case. she doesn't need to know that.#you couldn't pay me to care or to stop caring. it's cognitive dissonance#because I know this won't always affect me but it's my whole world right now#I say I don't care and I mean it but at the same time I care more than anything else#it's actually almost scary how much I relate to dark alley#not in a ''I'm in a mentally dark or dangerous place'' way but in a ''yeah I compare myself to others too much'' way#and then I try to make excuses so it can make sense to other people so they won't think the worst of me#like literally I'm trying not to think about fall but it's right around the corner and I'm. falling into it I guess#pun intended of course. I don't want to lose all my friends#I want to be one of the kids who gets invited to people's houses for lunch after church and I know I never will be#because that's the kind of thing that's only for the kids who are going someplace. not the ones who stay#I'm feeling very selfish and it's probably bc I'm tired lol this happens sometimes#I'm gonna make dinner for my family and then I'll feel better skskskskk#Lu rambles#sometimes I think I could write poetry#I feel like once my vacation is actually imminent I'll feel better I just haaate the point we're at right now#which is like. it's SOON but not THAT SOON so I feel like I can't do anything bc I'm just waiting for things to get going :/
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I just feel so!!!! Idk!! I feel like I keep letting myself get dragged along by jobs that definitely are not worth it just because they maybe could be one day under very specific circumstances and because I don't know what else would be any more sustainable for me
#like yeah i could go work overnights at home depot i guess but that job would only last like three months before im back feeling the same#shitty way about it#i just!!! i need these people to just tell me the truth and stop beating around the bush about things. im tired of just getting bullshit#and yeah id love to gun for the management position at that place but i cant bring myself to care when i dont even know if thats#what theyre actually planning on and they're treating me like im perfectly available on short notice all the time no matter what#and still paying me shit#idk man. im gonna resubmit the home depot application i guess
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puppet combo when there is woman
#decided to watch a playthru of murder house bc it had been awhile since id given puppet combo yet another chance#but man#they rly just dont have many interesting ideas and mostly rely on shock#oh but phuz u say thats what slashers are like#not the good ones! not ones that actually have something somewhat creative and entertaining!#honestly the only good thing i can rly recommend from murder house is clement panchout's great music#been listening to the end credits track a lot#but phuz the main char is wonan thats a diversity win#i guess!!!!#but also as a main char emma gets killed over and over and o#lol im just bitching bc for once the setup was promising and i was hooked... then the rest of the game happened🦆#idk it got lazy it didnt pay off all the things it set up that could have been interesting and it makes me feel bad for even caring?#idk man theres only so far u can take the same gimmicks for so long. esp when it was stale the first time u tried it in night of the ripper#i feel like the ending was so wtf random that they thought it would make up for their unfocused storytelling. but alas it just sucked#are there other endings? did pc even care enough to go thru that kinda effort? i dunno but i kinda am done w puppet combos shit lol#phuz rambles
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Some of those doctors make hating oat milk their entire personality. I hate them. Cannot pretend to find them funny or like i give a shit. Fucking pretentious assholes
#also my colleague (the girl i had my shift with) is the exact opposite of me in all aspects. asked me if I'd ever worked in customer service#because i couldn't care less about being fake friendly to assholes and don't care if they like the service or not#like bitch those people don't have any other choice but drink our fucking coffee it's not like I'm competing with anyone#or like they pay us in any way. i get paid for doing the dumb work i have to do not for stroking some dumb ass doctors' egos#they come out of their rooms once an hour to get coffee and we have the cups on the table and i wouldn't even Think of#HANDING them the cups and smiling sweetly at them and asking 'coffee? tea?? :))'#I'll just assume these grown adults will get their stupid coffee or tea when they want some. it's not like they don't know where it is#(and i AM friendly and smile when someone is coming in our direction but why the fuck do you need to get so disgustingly friendly with them#if someone held up a cup asking if i.want some coffee I'd leave immediately even if i came just for coffee. it's creepy)#anyway. she's nice. I'm not.#there's normal people who will get their coffee and maybe ask if the milk in the little jug is cow milk to which I'll happily reply 'yes#:)'. then there's the other people who see the oat milk and make it clear they are the most insufferable people on the planet#(and i pity their patients so much. not much to choose from i guess but if i had that as a doctor I'd happily just die)#like everyone who took oatmilk could do it without making a fuss about the cow milk on the table. the cow milk lovers could never#'the oat milk is in front of the actual milk. this is unacceptable. i hate such healthy bullshit' lol okay#'OAT milk?? I'll leave this to the horses! THANK GOD you have actual milk!'#my favorite was the one who really took personal offense with its sheer presence. as if it had killed half of his patients lmao#'we had 50 patients with xyz problem. ALL of them drink oat milk. they cannot see the connection. it's really unhealthy'#at this point i just said i didn't care and stopped paying attention and he started complaining to his doctor colleague about how#oat milk is advertised to be healthy and how it's actually the opposite and i just find that very funny compared to the first comment#from that one guy who doesn't like such healthy bullshit. you guys need to find a consensus on the oatmilk issue i think. no one takes you#seriously if you contradict yourself like this. also i couldn't care less about the healthiness of the milk alternative of my choice. bitch.#next week I'll end up killing someone. i hope they all die from their cow milk. (but not the ones who took cow milk and didn't say anything#about the oat milk. they can continue living as they didn't annoy me)#void screams#some of these doctors were actually quite nice (most of them even). one even brought an applicant to us telling her to get some coffee#(which we are not allowed to give to applicants. but i don't care. I'd rather they get something than some of the asshole jury members#who hate oat milk (which is not the issue. the issue is them making it everybody else's issue that they don't like oat milk))
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i got like three different compliments from people today on my customer service and im not gonna lie I greatly enjoy feeling like im winning at Restaurant Host
#two from guests one from newly promoted manager#i find it kinda funny when I get props from people for squeezing their reservation in or changing it without complaint or just doing#whatever in order to get them seated/reserved/etc despite whatever circumstances come up just cause like#it comes off as caring customer service which isn’t totally Wrong or anything#but I’m not trying to go above and beyond or anything at all generally. in my brain its just like.#restaraunt tetris. autistic little game in my head where I try to make everyone fit into a floorplan and update things accordingly and take#on new problems to solve and so on#I wish it was busier more often so I could actually Do this more often and like. use my autistic powers like this#cause when it’s not busy I’ve Hardly got anything to do on this front and I either get painfully bored or start stealing other peoples jobs#im. half joking there#anyway excited for thanksgiving cause in addition to 1.5x holiday pay we also hav fucking 90 people booked in the span of three hours#which will be chaotic as hell but hehehehehehe NO BOREDOM FOR ME#now THAT’s restaraunt tetris. I keep looking at the floorplan for that day and just being baffled by it because it’s. a lot#anyway. idk why im journaling like this I guess I just don’t talk to people enough irl outside of work#kibumblabs
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My charcuterie board dirty martini bubble bath slay 👍
#okay fine i lied it's not a bubble bath. it's a bath with a lemon lavender bath bomb OKAY. what do you want from me!!#dirty martini is subpar bc i only have vodka & no gin or vermouth :( actually it was pretty good but i regret the red wine vinegar#two shots plain vodka + olive brine + sparkling water (gone flat cuz carbonated martini = ew) + dash of red wine vinegar + green olives#with a rim of garlic parmesan popcorn salt + bacon salt + cayenne pepper 😋🤤 and unfortunately i am tipsy cuz i have NO TOLERANCE#charcuterie board = goat cheese + prosciutto + green olives + kalamata olives + mozzarella + pomegranate flavored dark chocolate ball things#and a cup of black coffee#i could eat prosciutto and goat cheese forever for the rest of my life. you all are jealous + praying for my downfall. sorry 🌝🌝#n e wayz i am watching you s4 i guess. tbh i am not paying attention bc i kind of stopped caring once they expanded past the books#but i cannot watch breaking bad bc i have to watch the last 3 episodes with my brother and for the series finale we will have a party#and make blue candy crystal and eat fast food chicken (not from chick-fil-a). and i know i will cry 👍👍#why am i tipsy wtf. cheap date ass 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄 my fwb lovessss me#personal#alcohol#alcohol tw#alcohol cw#tw alcohol#cw alcohol#my excessive trigger tagging as symptom of moral ocd slay
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So I finished BG3 and nobody ever asked about the githyanki egg I took??? I didn't give it to the racist lady bc she was racist, but I took it bc they were gonna kill it if I didn't so I just carried it around for the entire game and nobody ever mentioned it.
All the githyanki flew off out of this dimension and left my durge here with this egg. Is she just a single parent now???????????
#character growth is going from eating severed limbs to being a single mom i guess#i bullied the racist lady into paying me upfront and then killed her when i got back instead of giving her the egg justice was served#wouldve been nice to have an option to like send it with lae'zel or something so it could be cared for poor egg#bg3#bg3 spoilers#baldur's gate 3#baldur's gate 3 spoilers
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male writers need to stay far away from malia tate i am so serious
#was just thinking about how often she gets fucked over for the men shes paired off with#like making her and stiles a thing right after she became human (and for some reasom basic it heavily off of sex?)#cememnting him as someone she deeply cares about only for them to not gaf ab each other after their breakup so stiles and lydia could happen#pairing off her and scott together so theyd have an eg romance i guess#AND THEN BREAKING THEM UP FOR SCALLISON AND PUTTING HER WITH PARRISH#A GROWN WHO MET HER WHEN SHE WAS A TEENAGER????#jeff davis you will pay like#anyways. female characters who are reduced down to the men they sleep with will always be lesbians TO ME#carolcore#malia kira braeden and hayden i will free you one day#i will avenge you#jeff davis hates women i swear
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ok i downloaded the stupid update to play fo4 and now that i decided i was done getting my ass kicked i went into diamond city to get some ez xp. but i keep getting distracted by the like..... fucked up facial animations??? and the way the teeth/mouths look?? smth about the way the people look in fo4 is so gross im crawling back to new vegas tomorrow even if she keeps crashing on me 😭
#the character models in oblivion look better to me than the people in fo4 and i wish i was joking :(#if i could pay piper to never talk again i would 👍#its ok i dont care her so i guess i dont have to see her teeth anymore#ok i will say the male models r still kind of uncanny to me i think its MOSTLY the female models that are like#weird and uncanny to me. ALTHOUGH MY CHARACTER LOOKS FINE WHEN SHES TALKING !!!!!#edit: dude said uncanny twice we should kill him
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