#like yeah i could go work overnights at home depot i guess but that job would only last like three months before im back feeling the same

[aidenwaites]

I just feel so!!!! Idk!! I feel like I keep letting myself get dragged along by jobs that definitely are not worth it just because they maybe could be one day under very specific circumstances and because I don't know what else would be any more sustainable for me

[faces-in-unexpected-places]

Do You Have the Time? Episode 023: The Deal

Synopsis: Leopold takes a totally non self-destructive break from his stress. Jeremy and Madison demonstrate a vastly different relationship in their recent past.

[April 24th, 2018, 18:13]

           Leopold heaved himself up onto the lab bench and sat right next to the melted surface that Sophia pointed out. The lab was in total and complete disarray. He’d collected many of the large pieces of glass, but the floor was still sparkling with fine shards and glass dust. There were also many jagged pieces still sticking out of the window frame as well. Combined with Sophia’s news, his motivation to keep up a good appearance for Jeremy and Leslie was quickly plummeting. He considered waking IO out of its slumber for help with the cleaning but putting on a face even for a robot felt like a massive undertaking. If he told the others that the glass was taking longer than expected, Leslie would just volunteer herself and Jeremy to help it go faster. And then he would have to tell them what happened while they were gone. If he didn’t, they would notice that something was wrong.

           At least Leslie would.

           He wiggled his phone out of his pocket and reached out to them for an update.

[LEOPOLD_LESLIE_JEREMY_CONVERSATION_START_18:18]

LL: hey there you 2, how’s the search going :)

JB: Good. Leslie’s driving and we’re on our way back. JB: We took the long way.

LL: ok no problem

JB: Leslie is yelling at me to tell you that it was an accident. JB: She didn’t know where the Home Depot was.

LL: but we were just there…?

LG: I was listening to ur sotyr abt Woodstock that isn’t fair!!

LL: i thought she was the one driving?

LG: red light

LL: where r u guys? LL: hello

JB: Aaand now, it’s a green light. JB: The GPS says we’re about 20 minutes away. JB: We actually just passed Leslie’s house a few minutes ago.

LL: i finished the cleaning a little bit ago LL: y don’t u 2 just head home tonite and bring the supplies tomorrow?

JB: Are you sure? It’s only 20 mins.

LL: u guys r already in ur neighborhoods LL: and u 2 have been staying late and coming in early to work alot lately LL: u deserve a break :)

JB: She wants to know what time we’re coming in tomorrow.

LL: just be here at 9am lie everyone else LL: like* everyone else LL: hello?

JB: Sorry, just rerouting. Rush hour.

LL: no worries!

JB: Okay, Leslie’s going to take me back to my house and head home, then. JB: She’s keeping the supplies in her car overnight and will bring them tomorrow morning.

LL: ok sounds good LL: see u guys then! LL: great job today !

JB: Thanks. You too. JB: Leslie says thank you, too. JB: Sorry, she says, “Thank you!! <3”

LL: lol LL: that sounds like her

JB: Have a good night, Leopold. See you soon.

LL: see u !

[LEOPOLD_LESLIE_JEREMY_CONVERSATION_END_18:30]

               Leopold grinned faintly but it was quickly washed away with exhaustion. His face was heavy and expressionless. Tired. He let himself fall off the workbench and landed on his feet. The promise of solitude filled him with a vague relief. He trudged over to the entrance to the lab and locked the doors. Many of the labs nearby had turned their lights off and were left empty for the night. He lugged himself back across the lab and carefully stepped through the sheet of glass dust on the floor of his office until he reached his desk. The lowest side-drawer contained a mess of papers and wires and junk that he should probably have gotten rid of long ago.

               All the way in the back was a plastic bag and some flimsy, palm-sized pieces of paper. A small bag next to it contained a pile of grassy-looking balls. He retrieved the two bags, sat down, and dumped a dirty-green colored bud onto the paper. In his top side-drawer, he pulled out a mortar and pestle. When he ordered materials for his lab decades ago, he “accidentally” ordered an extra mortar and pestle. He ground the bud in the bowl with the pestle, sprinkled the green dust into the paper, rolled it tight, licked it together and lit it up with his handy zippo. With his feet up on the desk he took a long puff of his favorite medication and stretched his limbs out.

           If he was going to be there for a while, he might as well get comfortable, too.

           After today, he needed a break.

[May 13th, 2016, 1:57]

           Madison sat anxiously on the couch of a dark living room, scanning the quiet, suburban neighborhood through the window for cars. She checked her phone again. A message from Jeremy ten minutes ago. It said he’d be here in five minutes. She glanced to the clock for the 3rd time. She wasn’t sure what she expected to be different, as if he would somehow arrive faster. A car slowly emerged from behind the next-door neighbor’s hedges and parked on the street in front of the house. She waited for a few seconds, then the car flashed its headlights three times. It was him! She leapt off the couch, stuffed her bare feet into her shoes and silently slipped through the front door, closing it gently behind her. She jogged down the driveway to meet him on the sidewalk.

           “You made it,” she said.

           “I did. How’s the situation in there?”

           “They’re asleep. Went to bed around eleven or midnight.”

           “Okay. We should be fine, then. Thanks for doing this,” he said.

           “Sure. I wouldn’t deal with them if I didn’t have to, either.”

           He shut his car door as quietly as he could and followed Madison up the driveway. He carried a small, flattened cardboard box under his arm. They entered and both took their shoes off out of habit. He followed behind her through the living room and down the hallway. They tiptoed past their parents’ bedroom and stopped at Jeremy’s old room, across the hall from Madison’s. She led him inside, shut the door and used the light from her phone to see. Jeremy observed and did the same.

           “So, what are you looking for?” she asked.

           “I want my keyboard and all the accessories that go with it, wax warmer and the wax cubes, and some old notes I took for some of my classes. Those can go in the box. I also want to take my bedspread and my old bookshelf. Those, I can fit in the backseat.”

           “Really, the keyboard? Even after mom cracked down on your knuckles every practice session? I haven’t heard you play in forever.”

           “I haven’t, really. But I can still play, and it is still mine, so I’d like to take it back.”

           “Fair enough. Okay, we can do that.”

           Aside from periodically bumping into each other in the dark, the plan worked out without a hitch. First, the box was taken to the car. Then the bedspread, and lastly the bookshelf. They had to be extremely careful to not bump the bookshelf into any walls or fixtures. Luckily, they had the carpeted floors on their side, so setting it down was no problem. Walking without shoes on carpet was essentially silent, as well. After waddling out to his car with the shelf, they set it down on the tree lawn to take a breather.

           “You sure this is okay?” Jeremy asked.

           “A little late to be asking that question, dontcha think, Jay?” she laughed through her breath.

           “Will you be okay tomorrow?” he rephrased.

           “I think so. Probably. Mom still goes in your room all the time, but I’ll just put one of your old bedspreads on the mattress. If she notices, I’ll just tell her that I’m washing the bedspread you took, or something.”

           “What if she asks about it later?”

           “I dunno. Guess I’ll figure that out later. At least I’ll buy some time to keep her off my back in the meantime. Besides, that’s only if she notices. No offense Jay, but all the comforters you’ve ever had have had stripes. They all kinda look the same.”

           He chuckled, sheepishly.

           “Well, just be careful.”

           “I always am,” she shrugged, “So, what’s your plan now? Graduating college and everything?” she asked and took a seat on top of his trunk, “You moving far away from here? I can’t imagine the two-hour drive right now is enough distance.”

           Jeremy hopped up to sit next to her. They both laid back and looked at the few stars still visible in the suburban light pollution.

           “I actually came to talk to you about that,” he said.

           “Hmm. So, out with it, then. Where you headed?”

           “Nowhere,” he replied.

           “Oh, come on, you’ve gotta have somewhere to go.”

           “No, Maddie. I’m staying in Curiesville.”

           “What? Why?” she sat up and cross-examined, “Don’t you want to get the hell out of Crazy Town?”

           “Of course, I do. But I got accepted into a PhD program at CVU in the fall. So, I’m staying there for a while longer.”

           “Wait, you’re going back to school? What the hell, man, why?”

           “Most jobs I can get are entry level right now, and advancement will take a while. And I’ve always wanted to do research,” he shrugged, “A PhD is a surefire way to really contribute to the body of science. To make some real advancements. To make something new and to make the world better, you know?”

           “I guess, man. If it makes you happy, at least.”

           “You’re almost done with high-school, right? Two years left?”

           “If half-way is almost done in your mind, then yeah, sure,” she scoffed.

           “How’s it going so far?” he asked, “I know we haven’t had much time to talk about it since you started.”

           “Honestly, I bitch and complain about a lot of stuff, including school, but it’s actually not so bad. I’m not in any of those fancy-pantsy AP science classes like you were, but they’re still interesting. I’ve written a few articles for the school newspaper, actually,” she smiled, “My journalism teacher runs the newspaper and seems to like having me on the team. It’s a nice way to forget about mom and dad at least.”

           “That’s great. Have you thought about what you want to do afterwards?” he asked.

           Madison laughed and rolled her eyes.

           “You sound like everyone else, now. ‘What are you doing with your life, Maddie?’ ‘Apply to colleges early, Maddie!’ ‘Don’t vape in the girl’s bathroom, Maddie!’” she mocked.

           “Wait, what?”

           “To be honest, I just planned on making a break for it when I turn eighteen.”

           “Where to?”

           “Dunno, don’t care. Across the country maybe. They have Targets and Walmarts in every state, figured I’d just work at one of those,” she said flippantly.

           “You think you’d be happy with that?” Jeremy interviewed.

           “Beats wasting away at forty, living in mom’s spare room, listening her talk about what a disappointment I am.”

           “You don’t want to go to college?”

           “Pfff, fat chance. Nowhere to live, no colleges in mind, and no money to pay for it.”

           “There’s always financial aid. Loans to take out. Scholarships, all kinds of stuff. You just have to know where to look,” Jeremy persisted.

           “Yeah, maybe you could get scholarships, genius. Do I look like someone who could do that?”

           “Maddie, if you have a pulse, you can get scholarships. I applied for one that awarded me $500 for having a GPA above 3.0 and explaining why I thought I deserved the scholarship. It really can be that easy.”

           “I guess so. That’s still just one piece of a way bigger puzzle, though.”

           “Alright, I’ll just get to the point,” Jeremy sighed and sat up, “I get a yearly stipend of $30,000 to live off while I get my PhD. With some careful searching, that can cover basically all our living expenses. Both of us. And it could leave us with a little extra left over if we need it. We can get you financial aid and loans to pay for your classes,” he argued.

           Madison turned to look at him directly. She pursed her lips and furrowed her brow, ruminating with her internal conflicts.

           “Whoa, whoa, man. You’re… not serious, are you?” she asked.

           “If I was joking, you would be laughing, Maddie,”

           She furrowed her brow and scoffed.

           “Shut up,” Jeremy scoffed back, “Yes, I’m serious. So, what’s your answer?”

           “…It sounds nice, honestly, Jeremy, but… I couldn’t put you out like that. You’re… I mean, God, I hate that I’m going to say this, but you’re brilliant! Crazy smart and hard-working, and shit just comes to you, but it doesn’t work like that for me. I’m not anything special. I don’t even know what I would study…”

           “You’ve got time to figure it out. Just think about it. Or you could work at Target in Curiesville with a familiar face around and build up some savings. Either way… you don’t have to fend for yourself if you don’t want to.”

           “…You’re really okay with that. Sharing a place and supporting the family fuck-up?”

           “You’re not the family fuck-up, mom and dad are.”

           She nodded and grimaced in agreement.

           “Where would we live?” she probed.

           “Probably an apartment. They’re usually cheaper. There’s all kinds of options that we can look at, especially when you get closer to eighteen and have been accepted to the university and/or gotten a job at the Target of your choosing.”

           “…And you really think that I can do college?” she persisted in her skepticism.

           “You don’t have to be perfect. All you have to do is try your best, study, and talk to your professors. Most of them really want you to succeed, too. And I’ll be there to help you along the way if you need it. Seeing as how I just went through four years of college; I could probably answer a lot of questions for you. You would just have to keep me updated on how things are going and ask for help when you need it. If you want to quit and get a job instead, that would be okay, too. Just don’t give up on your classes without withdrawing and dropping out of the next semester. Otherwise, you’ll just build debt from classes you didn’t plan on passing, and that will be harder for us to deal with.”

           “Well… I guess it would be nice to know that I’ve got a place to go once I can leave…” she said to herself, “I’ll think about the college thing. But if you’re totally sure that you’re okay with finding a place together…”

           “I am,” he said firmly.

           Madison slowly let go of her prudent attitude and let her beaming smile shine through. She squealed under her breath and glommed onto Jeremy in excitement. He grinned and returned her hug.

           “Oh, our place would look so great, too! Can you imagine? I can already see it, now! Nice couch, sweet-ass TV for movie and videogame nights with ice-cream, ugh! Why can’t I just fast-forward two years already.”

           He pulled himself away to look at her.

           “It’ll go by faster than you think. Especially since you have school to do until then. Make sure to keep your grades up and build some good relationships with your teachers now, so that you can have a good application to CVU, if you want it, alright? You’ll need them to write good letters of recommendation. Next time we talk, we can talk about the SAT, too.”

           “Oh yeah, I actually convinced mom to get me one of those study books for it? You know the ones.”

Jeremy smirked.

           “So, you were already thinking about college, then?” he analyzed.

           “Wh—I—I mean—yeah, a little. Just out of curiosity. With everyone talking about it, and everything…”

           “Okay. Sure. Good for you,” Jeremy teased.

           “What!”

           “Nothing!” he laughed, “Just impressed. Study hard. I’m sure you’ll do very well.”

           “I’m not a nerd like you though, let’s make that clear,” she guarded, pushing her hands out, defensively.

           “I didn’t say anything,” he grinned.

           “Yeah, but you’re looking at me with that shit-eating grin!” she slapped him on the arm.

           “Oh!” he exclaimed, “Alright, there’s no need for violence, here. Especially since nerds can’t fight, anyway.”

           “Hey!” she protested.

           “What? I just meant me,” he taunted, “…and those closely related,” he mumbled.

           “Jay!”

           “What?! Come on, let’s get this bookshelf in the car before the sun comes up, and mom puts us in a cage or something.”

           Jeremy hopped off the trunk of his car and helped Madison down, as well. They muscled the bookshelf on its side into the back of his car and shut the doors. That was everything Jeremy had returned home for. They stood on the sidewalk, avoiding the goodbye that neither wanted to say.

           “So… what are you doing, now?” she asked.

           “Well, I’m taking this stuff back to my place and setting it up, I suppose. I’ve had a bit more free time to make the trip out here since I graduated yesterday. Everything been okay here with mom and dad?”

           “Eh, well, not much has changed, if that’s what you mean. Mom is still the same dictator she-demon she’s always been, rambling about you and how you’re basically science’s second coming of Christ, but also she hates you for moving away?”

           “Makes sense.”

           “And dad is… well, he’s nice sometimes, I guess. But he’ll never stand up for either of us when mom is going on an abusive tirade. Honest to god, I think he should just divorce her for his sake, even if I have to stay. He’s not here against his will, I don’t know why he doesn’t just leave.”

           “Who knows. Fear, maybe? One thing I learned about dad early on is that when fear kicks in, he’s basically useless. And so long as he’s married to mom, he’s scared all the time.”

           “Ain’t that the truth,” Madison agreed, “Well, I’m not too scared to leave, and when I do, you and I are living it up!”

           “It’ll be great,” Jeremy smiled faintly.

They both trailed off, and their talk met its natural end. He knew it was time to go. Madison watched his smile fade away, and hers followed quickly behind.

           “I guess this is it, huh?” she said, “You gonna be okay making the drive back?”

           “I think so. I slept in today on purpose today.”

           “Heh. You even plan on sleeping in…” she chuckled, “…When are we gonna see each other again, Jay?”

           “…I’m not sure. The summer will be busy for me while I work to save up some extra money for us. Maybe sometime in the fall when I get the hang of my new program.”

           “Okay,” she frowned, “It’s just that… I miss ya sometimes, ya know?”

           Her eyes swelled up and a tear rolled down her cheek. She kept herself composed and quiet to avoid waking anyone up.

           “I miss you a lot, too, Maddie. Why do you think I planned out the next two years of your life?” he joked.

           She let out a half-laugh-half-gasp.

           “I guess that’s true.”

           “You have my number still, right?”

           “I do.”

           “Good. Maybe we can talk more that way, send each other pictures and whatnot,” he sniffed.

           “Yeah, good idea. We should do that.”

           They both suddenly clung to each other and held on as tight as they could, quietly sniveling into each other’s shoulders. They clinched each other until their arms were tired, since they knew they wouldn’t be seeing each other for six months. Jeremy quietly spoke into her shoulder.

           “Thank you for helping me,” he said.

           “Heh, aww, come on, it was nothin’,” she said, “Anything to see my state-issued nerd, again,” she smiled and wiped her eyes with her forearm, “Thanks for planning me a better life.”

           “It wasn’t that hard,” he chuckled, “I’ll see you soon, okay?”

           “Okay. Love you, Jay,” she whispered.

           “Love you too, Maddie.”

           They squeezed each other tight once more, and disbanded. Madison then gave Jeremy space to get into his car. She stood on the sidewalk with her arms folded in front of her, watching him get ready to leave. He pulled into the next driveway across the street, turned his car around, and flashed his headlights on his way out. Madison waved goodbye from the tree lawn until she watched him turn down the next road.

           Then, her neighborhood was as quiet and still as it was before he came.