#could not be more perfect if i wanted it to be LMAO

[rafes-slut]

hii i had a request!! maybe reader let rafe hit raw for the first time and once he wasnt inside he couldn’t help himself/stop so he barely gave her time to adjust and was whispering things like “i’m sorry baby, you just feel so good, i can’t stop” and stuff to her!!

(i sent this request earlier but idk if it went through:(( if it did, ignore this one lmao im so sorry again)

It didint went through first time love glad you sended it again

Can’t Help Myself

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x You

Warnings: NSFW, unprotected sex (p in v), explicit smut, overstimulation, lack of proper prep/time to adjust, Rafe being unhinged and possessive, light breeding kink undertones, creampie, slight degradation, praise, filthy talk, choking, dominance, rough pace, manhandling, slight dubcon vibes (you consent, but it’s intense), obsession, marking, possessiveness, general filth.

Your back hit the mattress hard, his mouth hot and messy against yours, hands gripping your thighs like he was trying to leave permanent bruises behind. Everything about Rafe was rushed, desperate, like he’d been waiting for this moment for far too long and couldn’t control himself anymore.

“Fuck,” he muttered against your lips, breath ragged, “you sure about this, baby?”

You nodded quickly, chest heaving, skin flushed. “Yeah,” you whispered, already breathless, “I want to feel you. No condom this time.”

That’s all it took.

Rafe growled—actually growled—and grabbed your hips, flipping you onto your stomach like you weighed nothing. His hand pressed between your shoulder blades, pinning you down, your cheek pressed into the sheets. You heard the unmistakable sound of his belt unbuckling, zipper dragging down, his low grunts of frustration as he fought to get his pants off fast enough.

“You have no idea what you’re doing to me,” he hissed, dragging his cock through your soaked folds, already throbbing against you. “Been thinking about this—fuck—been dreaming about this pussy raw.”

You gasped when the head of his cock pushed in, stretching you more than you expected, more than you could handle all at once. “Rafe—wait—”

But he wasn’t listening.

He shoved inside you with one rough thrust, filling you to the hilt before your body could even adjust, forcing a sharp cry from your lips as your walls clenched hard around him.

“Shit, shit, shit,” he groaned, fingers digging into your hips bruisingly. “You feel—fuck—you feel so fucking good like this, I can’t—I can’t stop.”

You whimpered, tears stinging the corners of your eyes as he pulled out just enough to slam back in, hips snapping against your ass with a force that stole your breath. He didn’t give you time. Didn’t let you adjust. He just kept going—hard, fast, deep.

“Rafe, slow down,” you choked, back arching, nails clawing at the sheets.

“I’m sorry, baby,” he rasped, voice hoarse and ruined, one hand wrapping around your throat, yanking you up so your back was flush to his chest. “You just feel too fucking good. This tight little pussy’s gripping me like a vice—fuck, I can’t help myself.”

His teeth scraped along your shoulder, biting down hard as his other hand slapped your thigh, forcing your legs wider. His pace never slowed, brutal and relentless, cock battering that spot deep inside you with every thrust.

“Gonna ruin you,” he snarled against your ear. “No one else is ever gonna fuck you like this. You’re mine. You hear me?”

You could only nod weakly, too far gone, his hand still squeezing your throat, dizzy from the pressure, from the overwhelming pleasure tearing through you.

“Say it,” he growled, thrusts getting even rougher—if that was even possible. “Say you’re mine.”

“I’m yours,” you gasped, voice breaking, body trembling.

“Damn right you are,” he grunted, slamming into you again and again. “Taking this cock raw like the filthy little girl you are. Fuck—gonna fill you up so good, baby. You want that? Want me to cum in this perfect pussy?”

“Yes, Rafe, please—”

He groaned loudly, hand leaving your throat to grab your tits, squeezing roughly, using your body like it was his toy. “Fucking begging for it,” he murmured, cock twitching deep inside you. “You’re gonna take it, every drop. Gonna breed you, fuck you full.”

You came hard, body convulsing, mouth falling open in a silent scream as your orgasm tore through you like a wave. Rafe cursed, slamming into you a few more times before he buried himself to the hilt, cum spilling inside you, hot and thick, his name a broken moan on your lips.

Neither of you moved, his cock still inside you, both of you breathing hard, skin slick with sweat. His grip never loosened, possessive and heavy.

“I’m not done,” he whispered darkly, pressing a kiss to your shoulder. “I’m never fucking done with you.”

[uhhhj13iguess]

i should've kissed you

avenger!peter parker x fem!reader

summary: the five times peter almost kissed you and didn't, and the one time he finally did

kind of a song fic based off of 'i should've kissed you' by one direction lmao, no lyrics though! just heavily inspired from

UM LMFAO 5.3K WORDS I KNOW THATS RIGHT

masterlist

1

peter fell back harshly onto his bed, a groan escaping his lips. he ran his hands over his face roughly before throwing his hands down to his side in frustration, small punches made at his mattress as he stared up at his ceiling.

he took a few deep breaths, cringing as he replayed the ending of your and peter's date in his mind.

the date had been going perfectly. in fact, peter had yet to be convinced the entire night wasn't a dream as he walked you back through the halls of the avengers tower after your dinner that evening.

everything felt so right, and he knew you felt it too. you were laughing at all of his jokes, small touches on his arm: for once in his life, he was being smooth. and for once in his life, it was actually working.

as you approached your door, you turned to face him, hand reaching out to meet his. he grabbed it with a smile, squeezing it gently and taking a step closer to you.

"i had a really good time tonight, pete. i'm really glad you asked me out." you looked up at him, nothing but love in your eyes. he melted just looking at them.

he smiled softly back at you. "i am too. i'd really love to do it again sometime, (y/n)."

"me too," you spoke in a whisper.

peter reached up to brush hair out of your eyes, tucking it gently behind your ear. you looked at him through your long lashes, a blush apparent across your features. you leaned into his touch and he held his hand there against your cheek, beaming at you. your eyes flickered down to his lips before returning to meet his gaze, lightly chewing on your own lips.

holyshitholyshitholyshit, okay. calm down. this is it. you have the signal, this is going to be awesome, just lean in and --

and he... didn't? wait, why am i not leaning in? kiss her, goddamn it!

peter stood there frozen, a look of awe still adorning his features as he stared at you. you gave him yet another soft smile, reaching up to grab his hand from your cheek. you gave it a quick squeeze before letting it go at his side.

"'night pete. i'll see you tomorrow?"

you reached for your door knob, giving him an eager look with a grin still plastered across your face.

he nodded feverntly, choking out a quiet "y-yeah, of course,"

you nodded and gave him a small wave before disappearing behind your door.

peter remained frozen for a few more seconds, still staring where you no longer stood in front of him. his eyes widened and he let out a shakey breath.

"holy shit, i should've kiss her."

peter let out another groan at the memory, rolling over to bury his head in his pillow.

he had just went on the most perfect date with the woman of his dreams. there's already no way the entire thing wasn't just the most beautiful dream he'd ever had, and there's no WAY he fucked up taking his chance to kiss you. he truly could not believe himself.

peter let out a damn near pathetic whine into his pillow as he replayed the moment for what would come to be many times that night.

2

"i don't know ned, i just... froze!"

"you just froze? are you fucking with me right now?"

peter let a sigh out as he placed his phone on speaker, setting it on his desk so he could finish pulling on his shirt. he wanted to call ned before running out to get coffee with you that next morning, and the more he spoke, the more he regretted it.

"i wish i was. i actually cannot describe to you how much i wish i was."

he heard ned let out another "dude" as he messed with his hair in the mirror.

"she's never going to talk to me again, is she?"

"dude, she's never going to look at you again. i don't know how much more to say you were already punching over your weight here, and somehow still landed the date, and you just fumbled it?? i mean, you went on a date with like, the woman of all women, and you didn't kiss her goodnight?!? i, i can't-"

"ughhh, ned you're not helping!!"

"what do you want me to say, dude? there's no way you fucked up this hard. you have to get in there and kiss her before you don't get the chance to fuck it up again."

peter let out a sigh as he picked up his phone, taking it off speaker and bringing it to his ear.

"do you think she's going to even give me another chance?" he asked solemnly, squeezing his eyes shut tight.

"you really better hope she does."

"fuck."

peter ended the call and grabbed his belongings, shaking off his not-so-helpful call with ned and heading downstairs to meet you out front. he had to admit it, he was relieved to see you still showed up. your patience with him must've been god-given, and he wasn't going to mess this up again.

"hey, you" peter called out to you, earning a smile in his direction as you turned back to see him.

"hey, pete. how'd you sleep?"

"good, you?" he lied through his teeth as if his disastrous decision allowed him one second of rest last night.

but you gave him yet another smile, and his nerves around the whole situation seemed to go away.

"good. ready to go? i'm starting to think if i don't get some caffeine in me soon, you're not going to want that second date." you laughed, beginning to walk down the street as peter joined your side.

"highly doubtful," he said with a nudge at your arm. "so you had a good time? last night, i mean?"

you nodded eagerly, your eyes lighting up as soon as you thought about the date.

"the best."

peter smiled at you, "good."

over the course of the walk over, you picked up normal conversation and peter felt relief wash through his body as he began to realize maybe he didn't blow his chance. he grew more confident, flirting with you and even interlocking your fingers together as he felt your hand brush his.

you blushed like a madman at the action, but gladly accepted as you rounded the corner to the coffee shop you and peter often frequented, even before he had expressed his feelings to you.

peter was feeling good again. he did his best to shake his attempt from last night and just plan for the next one. he got back in his groove, doing everything he could do to woo you. he grabbed the door to the shop for you, paid for your coffee, and pulled your stool out at the counter. he had this.

he picked up a conversation about something sam and bucky had gotten into this week, earning nothing but full belly laughs from you. peter felt on top of the world hearing your laugh, his smile faltering slightly as he watched you bring your coffee to your lips. he took a deep breath, his senses immediately overwhelmed as he saw you repeat the gesture towards him, the two of you silently flickering between eye contact and staring at the other's lips.

he didn't know who moved first, but you both began to lean closer to one another, whispers of your conversation falling on deaf ears as he focused on not missing his shot this time.

okay parker, you've got this. she's right here, all you have to do is just... kiss her. okay? just, for fucks sake just kiss her

you sat inches away from his face, once again staring up at peter through your lashes, batting them softly at him.

signal! that's the signal! peter! lean! in!

and again, he just... didn't?? there's no chance in hell he messed this up a second time. what the fuck is wrong with him.

the vibrations of his phone on the counter startled you both, earning a chuckle from you as he muttered an apology, picking up the phone. his face bright red.

"i, yeah? oh, yeah we can be there shortly. yeah. okay mr. stark, thanks."

he ended the call with a sad smile in your direction.

"tony wants us at the tower for a meeting asap." he let out with a breathy laugh, looking down at his hands.

he expected to look up and see disappointment in your eyes, but he was caught off guard when all he was met with was sincerity. you gave him a smile, grabbing his hand and giving it a small kiss before pulling him from the counter.

"no worries! it's not like we weren't going to get coffee tomorrow again anyways."

peter gave you a thankful smile, sliding out of the cafe with you, hand in hand. you were so quick to jump back to your usual self, carrying on your conversation like nothing happened. peter, however, was still absolutely distraught.

there's no way he fucked this up for a second time.

and there's no way you were as forgiving with him as you were about it. a second time.

jesus christ, he needed to get his shit together.

3

it had been a few days since the coffee shop incident, and since he'd been able to get you alone. he had swung by your room, wondering if you wanted to knock out some training with him. sure, sparring wasn't the most romantic, but he was desperate for any chance that came his way at this point.

this led to the two of you being in your current position, sweaty and out of breath, taking turns swinging at each other. you weren't much of a match against peter, but training seemed like a good enough excuse for you to spend some time with him.

peter let out a grunt as he dodged your right hook, immediately sensing your follow up hit and catching your wrist mid-air.

"that's good! if you're fighting against Dum-E, maybe."

you rolled your eyes at him, a scoff escaping your throat. "yeah, right, didn't he leave you quite the egg on your forehead last week?"

"i couldn't see, tony shut the lights off on me in the lab." peter grumbled, throwing a few punches your way only for you to dodge them with ease.

"stop pulling your punches so much, parker, I'm not fragile."

peter smirked at you, letting out a mumbled "as you wish" before instantly sweeping your feet from under you and pinning you against the mat. your back hit the ground with a thud, earning a heavy whine from you as you closed your eyes.

"oh, is this what you wanted?" peter teased, feeling cocky as he held your arms on either side of your head, his hips holding yours to the mat.

you fluttered your eyes open, a breath hitching in your throat as you realized the position you were in: peter on top of you for the first time ever, nose to nose. both of you were panting, from the exercise or the situation, neither of you knew.

peter felt hot. every part of him felt so hot, and he had to actively will his blood to stay in the upper half of his body ashe hovered over you. he took a moment away from his pride to realize how he had you under him, and his senses were overwhelmed again. his ears felt like they were going to burn off the sides of his head as you looked at him, again using the moment to flicker down to his lips. he licked them subconsciously, earning a barely audible whine from you as he did.

so help me god, if you don't kiss her right now, no spider-man for a week. a week!

but despite him pleading with his body to take action, he just couldn't seem to move and seal the deal. he muttered to himself, begging his body to respond and do something.

come on, come on, come on! why?!

peter barely got to see the smirk flash across your face before you moved, quickly flipping him and switching the position to pin him and take dominance.

he let out a groan as his back hit the mat, a half cough/half laugh escaping his lips.

"fuck, (y/n),"

you gave peter a grin, releasing your grip on his wrists and climbing off of him. you extended your hand outwards, peter reluctantly grabbing it to stand.

"never let your guard down, parker. you'll lose all the control."

he let out a scoff and a "yeah whatever," as he met you face to face again. "i let that happen. so, so you could get the practice, obviously."

you placed a hand on his cheek, giving it a soft pat. "I'm sure you did, bug boy."

peter rolled his eyes, grabbing your wrist and pulling you into him swiftly. you let out a soft gasp, your lips nearly grazing each others once again.

he leaned in so that your foreheads were pressed together, a hand still holding your wrist mid-air. he let out a deep laugh, his hot breath on your lips sending goosebumps across your skin. "funny that you think you're the one in--"

"little spider! lady (y/l/n)! i was hoping for some willing contenders this afternoon!" thor roared as he announced his presence in the gym.

peter let out a heavy sigh, dropping your wrist. "... control,"

you gave him an apologetic smile before greeting thor as he made his way over.

"holy shit, i might have to kill myself over this." peter whispered to himself.

"what was that, pete?"

"i said i think thor's going to kill us."

third time's not the fucking charm, to say the least.

4

yet another few days passed with no success on peter's front, and he was growing more worried with each passing moment that he'd never get to kiss you.

he seriously had no idea what was wrong with him and why he kept freezing, despite everything inside him pleading to just. kiss. you.

you had decided you wanted to plan the second date, finally getting to steal peter away after a week since the last time you'd gone out. on the menu for the evening was an in-house movie night in the lounge, fit with any and every star wars movie for peter to choose from. you'd brought in every pillow and blanket you'd owned, even stealing the ones from steve's bed on your way over. you loaded the couch with the bedding, shooting a text peter's way with instructions to bring drinks and to wear his pajamas. you swapped your phone for the remote, carefully getting the tv loaded as you heard footsteps enter the room.

"shit, pete you were quick, i'm kind of impressed-- oh, hey wanda!" you turned and saw the red-headed woman before you, amazed at the scene laid out in front of her.

"it looks great in here, (y/n). are you going to be watching a movie?"

you gave her a sweet smile. "yeah, peter's on his way down."

"this looks so relaxing, do you mind if vis and i join you? we're quiet movie watchers, i promise!"

you paused for a second, flashing a quick smile to hopefully hide some of your disappointment.

"oh! well, i..."

"hey (y/n), i grabbed you an apple juice, i didn't see grape in there. is this a movie night? I have a sneaking su-- oh! hey wanda, are you joining in too?" peter waltzed into the lounge, freezing when seeing both you and wanda in the designated location of his texts.

wanda looked in your direction, and you couldn't say no to that face (no matter how badly you wanted to right now).

"yeah, that's okay with me. what do you think, pete?"

he nodded quickly, hoping he was following you correctly as he hoped to grasp any context to the situation. "yeah no, i mean that's, of course."

wanda let out a squeal of excitement, rushing out of the room. "i'm going to grab vision, thanks guys! this is going to be awesome!"

you gave peter an apologetic smile as he walked closer to you, handing you the aforementioned drink.

"I didn't know we were already up to double dates." peter gave you a soft smirk.

"i didn't either," you pouted, grabbing a seat on the couch and patting the cushions next to you. "i'm sorry, pete. i'll make it up to you."

peter sat down, giving you a chuckle as he settled into the corner of the couch, grabbing your hands gently. "i'm happy wherever you are."

he was even more happy to discover the viewing of the evening was a star wars movie of his own picking.

the four of them settled in, wanda and vision wasting no time getting comfortable curling into one another. peter noticed this, feeling more at ease in putting his own arm around you. you reciprocated gladly, leaning into his side and swinging your legs over his. peter felt his sense of touch heighten by a thousand, the feeling of you against him pushing him into overdrive.

he took a deep breath to steady himself, wrapping you up tighter and focusing his best on your heartbeat. he'd never held you this close before, and he could swear it was the best thing he'd ever felt.

time passed and you and peter melted into each other, fully engrossed in the movie as you heard a rumble in his stomach. you laughed quietly, lifting your head from his chest.

"hungry, parker?"

he blushed and nodded sheepishly, hearing the giggles of wanda in the background.

"y-yeah, i guess so. i can throw on some popcorn, if you guys want some too?" he looked around the room.

vision shot up, beaming. "ah! i have just learned this recipe, allow me! i will be back momentarily." he voiced before phasing out of the room.

wanda stood up quickly. "last time he made the popcorn, we had to call the fire department. i'll be right back, keep watching!"

she ran out of the room, the frantic nature of the situation making you giggle. peter looked over to you, relief washing over him as he got to have you alone, even if just for a few minutes. that was all he needed.

you looked up to face him, a blush creeping on your cheeks as you noticed how close your faces were.

peter took a deep breath and smiled at you. "are you going to tony's gala on friday?"

you looked back up at him. "yeah, although i don't think i've got a single thing to wear. look at what i'm wearing right now, peter," you gestured downwards. "we're talking about an event that he's invited adele to."

"you're saying these sweats weren't what you had in mind? shit, i'm gonna need to rethink some things." peter made a thinking face and feigned concern.

you both laughed quietly, soaking in the presence of one another. you shiftly slightly in his lap so you could reach your hand to his curls, gently beginning to play with them. "i take that as you plan on going as well?"

he nodded against your hand, taking the other one in his own. he cleared his throat.

"i was... i was actually wondering if, if you wanted to come with me. like, as my... my date?"

your face lit up in an instant and any reservations peter held in his mind were gone. you smiled so wide it became contagious, peter grinning back at you with a shy laugh, no longer able to hold eye contact.

your hand previously in his hair dropped to his chin, earning his gaze once again. "i'd love to, peter. that sounds really fun."

at this point, your fingers were delicate on his chin and ghosting over his features, all attention focused on peter's pink lips.

he took a deep breath, taking in your proximity and touch. he was on fire again.

peter parker, she is literally touching your lips with her fingers! do something! now!

but he just sat there, breathing you in as your hand now confidently rested on his jawbone and your thumb tugged gently at his bottom lip.

but he just sat there, staring at your lips the entire time, not touching them.

"pete?" you asked as you bumped your noses together. he flickered his eyes back up to yours.

"yeah?"

you let out a shakey breath, fluttering your eyes closed. "i... i-"

your eyes shot open and you pulled back sharply. "what's that smell?"

peter let out a whine as he lost your attention, his mouth hung open.

wanda came bursting through the door. "sorry guys! just a mild fire, but we put it out! i hope you like your popcorn a little... uh, charred."

she grimaced as she handed the two of you a bowl, completely unable to read the room.

vision followed in shortly, taking his seat back next to wanda. "my sincerest apologist. all fires have been extinguished and i have alerted mr. stark about the damage to his cabinets. he has a... guy on speed dial now."

you let out a laugh, thanking them for the popcorn and turning back to face the screen, once again snuggling into peter who remained slack-jawed and in disbelief.

i'm dead. i'm dead and i'm in a state of limbo for eternity. what the actual fuck is going on.

the four of you finished the first two star wars movies before calling it quits, you admitting how tired you'd grown over the evening. peter, on the other hand, had been sulking since wanda and vision came back in almost three hours ago now.

his spirits rose slightly, however, as you kissed him on the cheek before you bid goodnight to everyone, sending him one last smile before turning the corner.

ned was NOT going to believe this one.

5

when peter had picked you up friday night and saw you in your gown, he vowed to himself that he wouldn't bother coming home if he didn't kiss you.

you were the most stunning person he'd ever seen, a red dress adorning your body in all the best ways possible.

a red dress. his color. lord. have. mercy.

the night went accordingly, both of you mingling with the rest of the team, exchanging glances at the random a-list celebrities tony had invited for... actually, peter had no idea what the gala was for. he just knew it was an excuse to dance with you, and that was absolutely all he cared about.

as time passed and peter got more one-on-one time with you, he led you to the dance floor, wildly embarrassing himself in front of everyone just to hear your laugh. it was like medicine to him, and it healed things he didn't know were broken.

the upbeat rhythm of the current song slowed, the DJ transitioning the once high-energy music into a ballad. the lights dimmed to accompany the romantic atmosphere. you looked around as everyone paired up, swaying back and forth with their partners. you met peter's gaze, which was filled with anxiety, but he did his best not to show it. he gave you a sweet smile, extending his hand out in the corniest fashion he could think of. all you could do was laugh.

"may i have this dance, m'lady?"

you stifled giggles as you took his hand. "why of course, my good sir."

peter held you close, his hands around your waist as you snaked your arms around his neck respectively. you swayed together as peter held you, staring intently into your eyes. a smile began to curl at the edge of your lips, but you stayed quiet, lost in his gaze. peter took a deep breath.

okay. now or never. you literally cannot possibly fuck this up.

but he did.

parker, why the actual fuck are you not moving right now!!! holy shit kiss her!!!

but he didn't.

and you can see the frustration in his eyes, causing you to tilt your head curiously. the action moved your face slightly closer to peters, and you flickered momentarily down to his lips, desperately trying to make yourself as clear as possible.

but instead of leaning forward with you, peter just looked at your lips with a defeated sight before flashing his gaze elsewhere around the room.

for the first time since peter had tried and failed to kiss you, he saw your smile falter. you pulled away and averted your eyes, suddenly wishing you were anywhere else than where you were. you took a step back, finally locking eyes with peter again.

you gave him a smile, but this time, it didn't meet your eyes.

holy shit, he fucked up big time.

"i'm going to grab some air, pete. just feeling a bit crowded."

you were so gentle about it, but peter knew he'd hurt you this time. he tried to protest, but you moved quickly through the crowd of people, his calls after you being lost in the rest of the noise.

he let out another defeated sigh, his shoulders slumping as he watched you walk out the balcony doors.

"peter!"

he jumped, snapping to his left to see sam and bucky approaching him. he was so not in the mood for whatever teasing was about to happen.

"you've got to be kidding me, kid."

"sam, listen i'm really not-"

bucky cut him off. "what is your problem, dude?"

"what?"

"(y/n) has practically been begging you to make a move all night, are you for fucking real right now?"

at this point, peter's angry. he wasn't sure more with himself or the guys for harassing him on this, but he was starting to get overwhelmed. everything started to grow louder, the lights suddenly brighter than they were before. peter took a deep breath, closing his eyes and trying to stop himself from freaking out.

"i, i-i dont know! i've been trying to kiss her for over a week now, and i just-"

"a week? spidey, just kiss the woman! why are you overthinking this so much?"

"i dont know, okay! i don't know! i just keep freezing! i feel like i'm going fucking insane, literally the only thing i want to do on this planet is kiss her right now, but i just--"

"i think you need to tell her that, not us." sam cut in. bucky followed.

"yeah, i'm pretty sure she feels like you think she's disgusting right now."

a mixture of pain and panic overtook peter's features. "nononono! but i don't think that!

"you sure aren't making much of a case for yourself right now, kid."

peter ran his fingers through his hair anxiously. "i can't, okay! what if i fuck everything up! people who are close to me get hurt, and this is a really big step that means something, and i can't have her getting hurt."

bucky clapped him on the shoulder. "pete, you've always been the closest pair i know, even before you started dating. i don't know how to tell you this, but you might as well also get to kiss her."

sam smacks bucky across the chest, throwing a disapproving look his way. "that's not quite what he--"

"no. he's kind of right. maybe it really is that simple."

both of the guys gave peter an unconvinced look.

"really. i mean, she's already my best friend. she's already one of the closest people to me." peter looked up at bucky. "i mean, might as well get to kiss her too, right?"

bucky smirked at the younger boy, nodding his head slowly. "that's the spirit."

"i don't know if that's the full spir-" sam cut himself off with a sigh. "listen kid, i'm glad you're not freaking out over this anymore, but remember to still-"

"gotta go kiss a girl, thanks guys!" peter yelled as he began to run through the crowd towards to balcony you were on.

sam sighed and gave an unamused look at bucky.

"'might as well kiss her'? that's your chivalry?"

"clearly he knew exactly what i meant."

"don't highroad me right now."

+1

peter nearly burst through the balcony doors, breathless and relieved to see you still out there.

you turned back to look at him, a smile washing over your features as you noticed it was peter out there with you. you were kind as ever, greeting him by name, but there was a sadness lingering in your eyes.

he approached you hastily, immediately reaching out for your hands as soon as he was within reach. you took them gladly, an inquisitive look settling on your face.

"i'm not going to fuck this up again." he panted.

you shot him a look. "what?"

he pulled you in close before his monologue:

"(y/n), i'm so stupid. i should've kissed you. i should've kissed you so many times by now, and i haven't. i havent kissed you yet despite it being literally the only thing i've wanted to do for the past week and a half. and that's so fucking stupid."

he took a step to reposition himself.

"this, i-i mean, you have given me some really big emotions after I've experienced a great deal of loss, and... and i think that's been a little hard to navigate. but i don't want it to be. i really like feeling this way with you. and i really want to kiss you."

you let out a soft chuckle as you shyed away from his forwardness, a blush raging across your cheeks. you felt peter's finger lift your chin to face him, and you met his eyes once more.

"(y/n), i cannot fucking believe that i didn't kiss you.

how... how do you feel about me, now?"

you felt like your heart was going to burst. you felt grateful for all the times he didn't kiss you so that you could be here in this moment, right now.

peter swore he'd never seen you smile bigger than at that moment. before he could even reciprocate, you grabbed him and pulled him in by his tie, finally connecting your lips for the first time. peter melted into you immediately, his hands flying up to hold the sides of your face as though he was afraid to lose you. you snaked your arms around his neck and deepened the kiss, reassuring him you were exactly where you wanted to be.

after what felt like the shortest lifetime, you pulled away in a gasp for air, earning a chuckle from peter. he took a step back, mouth agape as he admired you in your entirety. he gave you a sweet smile before another soft peck on your lips, his contagious smile bleeding into the kiss.

with your foreheads pressed together, peter took a deep breath, a laugh interrupting the exhale. you looked up.

"what?"

"i just can't believe we could've been doing that this whole time."

"i think this one was worth the wait."

[hmhas-00]

Ch. 25

Hit Me Hard & Soft

A/N- sorry I didn’t post yesterday! My schedule at work got switched around and since I post on the days I don’t work, I totally thought today was Tuesday? MY FAULT BADDIES!!ANYWAY are we enjoying the book so far? dooo we miss Remy yet? what do we think about this relationship… I love to hear y’all’s ideas and theories. feel free to inbox me too! 🤍 like & rb!!

cw// first part is a little 18+ but after the *** it returns to your regularly scheduled programming lmao

Billie’s POV

Unclothed, under my duvet, I was all alone this morning. No Ellie on my chest, nuzzled into my neck, just miles of California king bed.

I was sweaty and my hair was a mess. Following the events last night, we didn’t bother to shower or clean up. We just passed out in each other’s arms after we were both satisfied.

Upon checking the time and seeing it was almost noon, I walked into the shower without even waiting for the water to heat up. The cold stream felt amazing on my skin. I closed my eyes, massaging shampoo into my scalp, stretching my torso side to side, attempting to wake myself up more.

My mind felt much less foggy this morning. No negative thoughts, no overthinking my words, and no revisiting the past. Maybe it’s true… I needed to let it all go.

“You’re up.” A velvety smooth voice snuck up behind me.

“Mmm. I am.” I hummed.

I opened my eyes, turning to face Ellie, who had quietly joined me in the shower, her movements so delicate I didn’t even hear the glass door open behind me. I smiled at her warm presence, the scent of vanilla diffusing in the air as the now hot water hit her skin, and turned into steam.

“How’d you sleep?” She giggled softly, knowing I slept so peacefully thanks to her.

“I was out.” I laughed a bit, seeing how proud of herself she was.

“You were.” She hummed, her voice mellow as she brought her hands to my sides, gently gliding them up and down as the water ran underneath them. Instant goosebumps emerged on my skin. “That’s why I didn’t wanna wake you.” My eyes fixed on her lips as she spoke.

“I’m awake now.” I swallowed, my voice deepening as fleeting images of last night flooded my mind. My eyes wandered down to her breasts when she laughed.

“You are.” She smiled shyly. Shyly, even though she’s nothing close to shy in my bed.

The hot water poured over us as I pulled her in by her waist, our lips only inches away from each other.

“You looked so perfect on top of me last night.” My voice was low, “So sexy.” I kissed her neck gently, giving her shivers.

A satisfied sigh escaped her lips, leaning her neck to one side. “Yeah?” She whispered, her voice barely audible under the loud shower spray.

“Mmhm.” I swiftly turned her around so that her back was pressed against my chest. I wrapped my arms around her, grabbing onto her full breasts, and gently massaging them. “And you tasted so good, too.” I spoke into her ear.

Her chest began to rise and fall, deeply, moaning softly as she leaned her head back, resting it on my shoulder.

“Too bad you didn’t last as long as I wanted you to. I wanted you in my mouth longer…” I teased, beginning to slide one hand downward very, very slowly.

“You’re just that good.” She replied, a smile forming on my lips.

When my hand finally reached its destination, I began to rubbing up and down her slit, separating her lips and feeling her lean completely on me. I could feel her knees begin to weaken at my touch as she took a deep breath in.

“You saying it’s my fault? Should I have gone… slower?” I began to rub her clit in very slow circles.

“N-No.” she moaned, loving every second as my tongue began to lick from her neck to her shoulder.

“What was that?” I bit her shoulder, kissing it to make up for the nibbles, after.

She managed to groan out a solid no. I sped up my circles, feeling her rest her weight on me the faster I went.

“No?” I asked. “How do you want it?” I teased, her desperation turning me on so much. I teased her, placing one finger inside a couple times, then finally letting her have the usual two.

She couldn’t properly form her sounds into words. Especially not when I added my thumb to rub her in circles too.

The bathroom echoed with loud moans and screams for the remainder of our shower.

********

Down in my kitchen, she drank coffee, sitting on the counter in one of my oversized shirts. I ate some avocado toast, occasionally feeding her some fruit salad.

“You know, you don’t have to feel forced to eat only plant based when you’re here.” I chewed on some kiwi.

“Oh, you mean I can have my own spot in your fridge now?” She laughed.

“Don’t get too crazy.” I joked.

She set down her coffee cup, giggling. She looked so cute with her wet, wavy hair. Her cheeks were rosy and her skin glistened with the natural afternoon light coming in through my window.

“So, I looked at your gift.” She murmured.

“My gift?”

“Yeah, the book.” She nodded.

“Oh. That gift.” I looked down at my fruit salad, realizing I’d forgotten all about it.

“It’s a photo album. Like a scrapbook of the making of your music. Your album.” She said, fidgeting.

I nodded, shrugging. “Cool.”

“She put a lot of thought into it, Billie.”

“That’s a first when it comes to me.” I rolled my eyes.

She sighed, “it’s beautiful, you need to see it.”

“I’m good.” I answered.

“Well, just hear me out. She captured your essence and your experience in such a way… The things she wrote about you in there. The memories tied to each photo, Billie. It made me emotional.” Ellie explained.

“She probably chat-GPT’d it.” I laughed a bit.

“No, I’m serious, Billie.” She insisted, “She put a lot of love into it, you can feel it when you see it.”

“Sucks she couldn’t do that in real life.”

“Billie!”

“Why are you defending her?” I sort of snapped.

“Because!” She began, but lowered her voice, trying her hardest to be patient with me. “It’s hard to get you to open up. Maybe that’s why she felt the need to do it thru art.”

I could not disagree more. It wasn’t her fault she didn’t know that with Remy, there was no problem with opening up. We were as open and as honest as can be… Except for what I felt about her. Regardless, it wasn’t hard to be real with her about everything else. I felt safe with Remy. It came naturally.

I shrugged. “I just don’t care anymore.”

“That’s not true and you know it.” She said, her voice mellow, as mine grew more annoyed.

“Why should I?” I looked at her.

“You’ve been friends for so long. She wanted you to have this for a reason, Billie. Maybe this is her way of apologizing.”

“Oh yeah. Sorry everything else was more important than you. Here’s some photos I took! Merry Christmas.”

She ignored my sarcasm, “Well, maybe it’ll help give you closure.”

I sighed, getting up from the table and putting my plate in the sink. I didn’t want to see the pictures. Everything was going so well. I did the thing, and opened up to Ellie, and finally felt good. This morning I felt so… clear. Like I could breathe again. And everything was fine until she brought up the fucking book.

I didn’t want to go back in time and be hurt again. I just wanted to be obsessed with Ellie. In love. Not in lust. I don’t want to mess with my feelings more than I already have.

“No, Ellie. I said no. Stop trying to change my mind. I don’t care about her anymore.”

“How can you say that, when just yesterday you were crying about y’all’s fight? If you didn’t care, why would you even shed a tear.” She crossed her arms.

“Why would you bring that up? It was hard to be that vulnerable with you and you’re gonna use it against me?” I snapped. I felt immediately ashamed of myself for trying to flip it on her.

"I’m not!” Ellie held her hand out, confused. “Baby, I’m not.”

She called me baby. She had never done that before. I didn’t know how to feel about it. I wanted to feel flutters in my stomach, but all I was thinking about now was Remy. And it wasn’t even my fault! God, this frustrated me even more.

“I’m not going to tell you again. I want nothing to do with her. Stop bringing her up, Ellie. Enough.” I said, looking as serious as I could.

“For the record, I didn’t use anything against you. Don’t put words in my mouth.” She hopped off the kitchen counter and walked away, into the hallway, the sound of her footsteps disappearing upstairs.

The way she was so sure of herself, and so immune to bullshit was the complete opposite to Remy. Remy was not immune to gaslighting, and could be easily coerced, especially by people she cared deeply about. That was her weakness. Maybe I took advantage of that sometimes. Maybe I had fault in our argument too.

I rubbed my face, breathing out expletives to myself. I walked over to the stupid box and stared at it before opening the lid and pulling it out. I held the scrapbook in my hands, convincing myself it’d be alright if I peeked. Instead, I put it away and bring it to one of the spare rooms. On my tippy toes, I prop it up on the top shelf in one of the closets, closing the door behind me as I step out.

I made my way upstairs, seeing Ellie scroll on her phone, laying on her side. I climb on the bed, laying behind her, scooping her up into a little spoon.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have yelled.” I wrap my arm around her, intertwining my hand with hers.

She nodded quietly, putting her phone down on the sheets. “I’m just trying to help.”

“I know you are, baby.” I squeezed her tight, pulling her closer to my body.

I lifted my head slightly to see if she noticed what I called her. A smile emerged from the corners of her mouth.

[angel-fruitcake]

Dunno if you asked for this but saw the other ask you got about bottom cas but cas bottoms in all my fics because he's an angel and angels are programmed to serve and also also he is so used to having to prove he is useful to be kept around that i legit think he would default to it and would also like it cause he just wants to make people feel good and that makes him feel good......i guess i have a lot of reasons for cas being a bottom making way more sense than him being a top again not even sure you asked but we are all so starved for bottom cas content

i agree we are starved for good, in-character bottom!cas content. there is plenty of bottom!cas content out there, but a lot of it feels ooc to me bc unfortunately some writers fall into the incorrect mindset of "top = rough/hypermasculine/dominant" and "bottom = weak/feminized/submissive", and that's just not a correct characterization of castiel OR dean. cas is a fucking ancient eldritch horror and if he's submitting to dean, it's bc he wants to. it's bc he's choosing to. imo, the only way cas should ever be portrayed as pathetic is pathetically in love with dean (like for example, if dean is topping and worshipping/showering castiel in love— then it would make perfect sense for cas to be overwhelmed, whimpering and submissive).

i also agree with what you're saying about cas being programmed/wanting to serve as an angel, and yeah i definitely think that's a reason he would bottom. he's also obsessed with and veryveryvery much in love with dean, so it's safe to say cas would be thrilled to give himself over to dean like that; always much more excited to give than to receive. but i also think that same idea could be applied to him topping as well as bottoming! bc lemme tell ya, topping can definitely be considered a service lmao (hence the term service top).

i feel the important takeaway here is that dean and cas are both very versatile, at least imo. that's one of the things i love about destiel— both characters are so interesting and complex, and it makes perfect sense for them both to top and bottom.

[11queensupreme11]

bro my heart hurts for nemokles.😭 he looks so cute and adorable

he must be some kind of god of misfortune because literally how is it possible to be born so privileged as LITERALLY THE BABY OF HADES AND PERCILLA JACKSON and not inherit a single thing to stand out with (apart from his incredible looks, which I guess isn't much with 16,000 stunning siblings)😭😭😭

on the other hand…I know you see it too queen…YANDERE POTENTIAL. I just know he can become so much worse than he is now. If someone just shows him that he is not a nobody, but a god-immortal perfect being.

but also just looking at him and imagining how much he suffers makes me wish he could receive some pure and true love (besides his mommy's) that would make him proud of himself.

Also, poor Percy just wanted to name her baby after her favorite fish😭

It's a shame that Greek names have such great power over the fate of their bearers.

i haven't actually thought of domains for him yet 😔 god of misfortune does fit.... but idk yet, i'll think of ideas later 😅

AND YES HE IS ABSOLUTELY YANDERE MATERIAL, BUT HE COULD ALSO BE A DARLING OR EVEN BOTH LMAO

would he be a super terrifying yan????!!!!!

probably not 💀

he's more of a dependent, submissive type if im being honest LMAO. the type to cling to you desperately and get so overtaken by his insecurities that he gets depressed at the thought of his darling leaving him..... might not even try to force them back to his side, he probably thinks he deserves it too:

"no, no i get it.... i'm worthless after all, i should've known you'd get tired of me eventually.... 😞💔"

(he's the manipulative type LMAO)

AND YEAH POOR PERCY LMAO 😭😭😭😭 knowing her, she'd probably offer to change his name to something better, but then he'd just end up feeling bad because SHE feels bad and now she feels even WORSE and now they're BOTH miserable and guilty LMAO 😭😭😭😭😭😭

do remember that percy's also depressed af and she's self-deprecating ESPECIALLY back when she was young, so like mother like son 😭😭😭

[augustlilyflower]

Astrology and driving

I’m avoiding my essay, and I was thinking about driving and what that might correlate to in astrology. From when I looked into it online, it is looking like maybe 3rd house (including 3rd house ruler), Mercury, or Mars might be influential in your driving skills or relationship to driving.

THIS IS JUST FOR FUN (usual disclaimer!!!!) if it seems wrong or doesnt apply, just ignore it 🙏

I have Mercury in Virgo in the 3rd house, my 3rd house is Leo, and Pisces Mars in the 10th house. It took me a long time to get the hang of driving, and pass my test, because I just overthought it a lot, which is definitely the Virgo and 3rd house influence. Pisces does also indicate an overactive mind as well though. Also with my Leo being in 3rd house, it could indicate that I prefer being the one being driven places/being passenger princess rather than being the one driving. I would say also that Venus signs like libra and Taurus might also like being driven places rather than driving, just because these signs (Taurus, Libra and Leo) thrive when being treated like royalty. My best friend drives me everywhere, even though I have a license lmao.

Aries 3rd house, Aries mars, aries Mercury, or 3rd house ruler in 1st house:

- honestly, could really see Aries placements LOVING driving, or if not the driving, maybe the cars? I don’t know why it’s just the vibe I’m getting

- loves driving fast

- maybe an interest in f1?

-in some cases, could indicate an inclination for dangerous driving

-road rage for sure

Taurus 3rd house, Taurus mars, Taurus Mercury, or 3rd house ruler in 2nd house:

-just seem like the type to love to decorate their car, or really carefully pick out what car they want that perfectly fits their vibe

-can see this sign preferring to be a passenger rather than a driver

- this is again just a random vibe but I feel like they’d be really good with directions and just knowing what road to take and etc

- the best smelling car air fresheners in their car for sure

Gemini 3rd house, Gemini mars, Gemini Mercury, or 3rd house ruler in 3rd house

- another fast driver

- in bad cases, could indicate overthinking when driving so they might be put off it

- needs music playing in their car at all times, but I don’t see them as the type to have specific playlists, I think they’re the type to just hit shuffle on their liked songs (maniacs)

- opposite to Taurus, I think they’re the worst at directions

-lowkey now im thinking about it they could go either way? they could either be extremely unbothered about other drivers on the road and don’t feel any pressure when cars are pressuring them to go faster or something, or could be hyper aware of the cars around them - there is no middle ground for them

- for Gemini placements specifically rather than 3rd house, could see their being the potential for natural driving talent

Cancer 3rd house, cancer mars, cancer Mercury, or 3rd house ruler in 4th house

- hate driving, and only drive to places they know

- drive at the speed limit or below, I just can’t see them as fast drivers

- might enjoy driving with family in the car with them, or parents might have been heavily involved in their driving/driving lessons , maybe family brought their car or smth idk

- ironic because I think these guys are objectively perfect drivers but I also think they absolutely hate driving

- might enjoy late night drives though, since cancer is ruled by the moon

Leo 3rd house, Leo mars, Leo Mercury, or 3rd house ruler in 5th house

- flashy cars.

- as I mentioned previously, I think they might like to be passengers more than driving - but I do think with Leo’s there can be more than one type of driver

- this is because, with Leo being ruled by sun, and sun ruling identity - driving for some Leo’s could be a big part of their identity.

- could be the people who when they make a driving mistake or get honked at for it, they get mad at the people getting mad at them lmao. In their eyes it isn’t their fault

- might prefer driving in the day, or when it’s sunny with their windows down

Virgo 3rd house, Virgo mars, Virgo Mercury, or 3rd house ruler in 6th house

- careful drivers

- hyper aware of the cars around them

-I think they’re good at driving/things like clutch control and etc, but I think they’re bad at making decisions like moving quickly at a roundabout? Very specific but again, just the vibe I get

- might use driving purely for errands, to get groceries and etc

-OR maybe driving is a big part of their daily routine?

-maybe they might like driving places with their dog haha could 6th house and Virgo energy is also to do with animals

Libra 3rd house, Libra mars, Libra Mercury, or 3rd house ruler in 7th house

- cutest cars ever I just know it

- another passenger princess

- carefully curated music playlists to specifically fit the vibe of the journey

-maybe they like going on drives during dates?

-like driving around with romantic partners

Scorpio 3rd house, Scorpio mars, Scorpio Mercury, or 3rd house ruler in 8th house

- hmm, maybe the type to obsess over cars and driving

-f1 fans

- lowkey this just came to me out of nowhere, but maybe they like fixing cars ? I mean Scorpio is about transformation, so I could see that being something of interest

- might have started out hating driving but then did a complete 180 and now they love it

-music on, always

- they like their little drives on their own I think.

—like Aquarius I could see them being unlucky when it comes to car troubles

Sagittarius 3rd house, Sagittarius mars, Sagittarius Mercury, or 3rd house ruler in 9th house

-did somebody say spontaneous road trips?

- love LONG drives

-another placement that loves to just shuffle their liked songs rather than have specific playlists, or they might just listen to the radio

- these guys LOVE driving, and they love driving with their friends in the car with them

-I think they hate being passenger princesses, and might be judgy of other people’s driving, passenger from hell

- because sag is ruled by Jupiter, might have many random lucky encounters on the road? Maybe people don’t get mad at them much on the road, or let them in the line when they’re trying to get in and etc

Capricorn 3rd house, Capricorn mars, Capricorn Mercury, or 3rd house ruler in 10th house

- driving could be part of their career?

-or they could drive only to get to work

- stickler for the road rules

-hidden road rage… you wouldn’t expect it from them, but watch someone cut them off and the rage explode out of them while you’re just like 😳👀

-for some weird reason, I get a strong sense these guys could enjoy f1

Aquarius 3rd house, Aquarius mars, Aquarius Mercury, or 3rd house ruler in 11th house

-I feel like these guys could also enjoy spontaneous drives

- really calm drivers, or if they do road rage they’re good at hiding it

- lowkey feel like these guys could be really unlucky with cars and driving hahaha like they might always have car problems

- could always be the one to witness weird things happening when driving

Pisces 3rd house, Pisces mars, Pisces Mercury, or 3rd house ruler in 12th house

- daydreamers, might sometimes disassociate when driving and listening to music so they end up driving in autopilot

- they almost always forget they have to stop at a zebra crossing

- another type to have specific playlists on for driving

-in negative cases, could be the type to drive under the influence (DO NOT DO THAT KIDS)

-when passengers, I feel like they’re the kind to just sleep the whole journey, and they can just sleep through anything, no matter what potholes are endured

- with the 12th house energy, might really enjoy driving by themselves to clear their head

[g0nta-g0kuhara]

THE CHAPTER 4 ESSAY IS DONE!!!

[cuntylestat]

everything is romantic with vampires!

(youtube)

[kbsd]

the legend of ron speirs

roland aimed his thompson gun he didn't say a word...

[s0fter-sin]

You are so real for your tags on the Nikpriceghost. JFC. Excuse the shriek of chair legs as I pull a seat up at that buffet table. Need me 30k slow burn poly omegaverse of Simon thinking he's just a bit of fun to them, and it's all good because it is bloody fun, innit? But really they're both very fuckin' in love with him, and trying to communicate that in a way it can't be miscommunicated is hard. So hold him while his mind melts out his ears is where they've got to. They're workin' on the words. (Need me* I'm trying, I'm writing, I'm chewing the skirting boards, writing some more.)

i’m shrieking right along with the chair this is t a s t y

simon seeing price and nik and immediately seeing how perfect they are for each other; it’s right there in their scent and how perfectly they meld together- they smell like a dream. they support each other in a way he’s only seen in relationships from movies. they’re even an alpha/omega pair but they’re not held back by traditionalist prejudice. they compliment and complete each other so fully it’s a wonder they’ve let him into their nest all

simon with his traumatised scent, letting everyone who comes near him know just how damaged he is (as if looking at him wouldn’t give it away). simon the alpha who craves an omega’s orders; who longs to submit to an alpha

simon who wishes the sweet words they whisper to him were real

wishes their scenting would extend outside the nest, that they didn’t make him wash them it off afterwards. (they just want to give him aftercare, something he’s never been offered.) that the hickeys and sweet bites left oh so gently would drift that much closer to his mating gland. (he never got the proper schooling, was never taught that marks left near a mating gland were an offer as much as a question.) that they wouldn’t see him as just some pup hauled in from the rain when they press him tight between their chests

(he is their pup and they have taken him in. they just don’t know what they’re doing wrong that he won’t stay.)

imagining the first time simon was brought into their nest was the first time he’s been in any nest and it’s bc he’s so disregulated that he’s having a breakdown; maybe gaz or soap got hurt under his watch and his inner alpha can’t handle having failed them so spectacularly and nothing they say, no platitude or reassurance, can reach him

so price does what any pack leading omega would do

he scruffs simon, waits for his eyelids to droop and knees to go weak, and drags him into his nest; pushing him into the deepest well of it with the highest buildup of safe-sleep-pack-happy scent until simon’s inner alpha calms itself enough that he falls into a stress induced sleep

price watches over him the entire time, vigilant against any threat both internal and external, and it’s in his diligence that he notices how perfectly simon’s scent blends with his and nik’s; notices how happy his omega is at having the alpha in his nest

and how much he wants to keep him there

(simon wakes up disoriented; more than a little worried about nik’s reaction to another alpha in his mate’s nest and is quick to leave the second price lets him. he misses the quiet rumble of contentment nik gives when he smells their combined scent, when he hears how long simon slept and the safety he must’ve felt with price. he misses the conversation about how right it felt and the agreement that he should stay there)

[cowgirls-blues]

One of them knows how to install a doorknob.

[5a-alf]

Btw if anyone is wondering in my au the numbers on their cheeks are arabs numbers not roman numerals

Why?

Well you see,, these guys are losers.

The roman numerals version fucks too much and 9 years old who grew on the court aren't going to think about numerals (well, actually, maybe kevin would because he is a history nerd. But he's not making the decisions) they are going to think of jerseys . So.

Unfortunately that's how it goes.

[silverselfshippingchaos]

husband.. I love him

[dazais-guardian-angel]

Dazai truly has become Oda in every way imaginable now. :’ ) the final words he gives to Sigma are the exact same words Oda gives to Dazai in the original scene Asagiri wrote for the end of the Dark Era stage play, 後は頼んだよ, “I will leave the rest to you.”

And I really love the progression of the way his eyes look in this chapter, and how Sigma is allowed to have this moment of questioning and rebelling against all the faith Dazai had naturally been leading him to place in him up to this point, which is what I hoped would happen. He’s been confused ever since Dazai first chose him, and everything he’s ever known about how everyone sees/treats him turned upside down by Dazai’s words and actions, and just when he’s finally started to feel like he’s found some hope and lowered his guard, Dazai pulls him back underwater, instantly reinforcing all of Sigma’s trust issues and reinforcing that he should never believe in anyone, because (he thinks) everyone lives to manipulate other people. Dazai’s dark eyes here reinforce that, too, and the other panels around this point where they look white and hollow and demonic, all like Fyodor’s. He appears like an evil, looming force pulling him back under, trying to kill him, when Sigma is so close to the freedom of the air he desperately wants (aka free from pain, which is what he’s been seeking his whole life).

But then Dazai makes this face, and the first one I posted above, and Sigma understands, even without words, that Dazai doesn’t have evil intent: on the contrary, he actually is bound and determined to save his life -- and the light in his eyes comes out through this determination and kindness, arguably the most light we’ve ever seen his eyes have in the entire manga (in the “I leave the rest to you” panel too). The “No” could be Dazai wordlessly telling him to not leave the water, but my first assumption was that it was Sigma telling himself no, stopping his own train of thought about Dazai being the same as Fyodor and someone he shouldn’t have trusted -- he soon realizes why Dazai stopped him, and that he’s still going to try to save him, that he wasn’t wrong about him, and it’s all because Dazai’s earnest expressions get through to him.

And it’s just so heartwarming to see how far Dazai has come. :’ ) He tried so hard to save Sigma (doing the most physical action we’ve ever seen him do, really), did his best to be reassuring and comforting to him afterwards, and then reaffirmed his promise to ensure he escaped Meursault alive, his final words to Sigma echoing Oda’s and his last action being to save an orphan, just like Oda did in his last moments. Obviously Dazai isn’t actually going to die, he’ll be saved somehow, but I do think as of right now he really does think this is the end for him, and that he didn’t foresee the elevator dropping -- he was examining the wires a few chapters ago because he thought he might need to know how to open the doors in case Fyodor pulled an uno reverse, hence why he looks more annoyed than shocked when the water starts, but here, when the drop collision sequence is initiated, he looks genuinely shook in comparison. There’d be no reason for him to give the thumbs up if he knew more danger was on the way, either; that’d just be cruel. No, I don’t think he saw this coming, and it’s important that that turns out to be the case: it’s important that he spent what he believes to have been his last moments saving someone like Oda wanted for him, and doing what Oda would have done in the same situation. That doesn’t mean that it’s okay that Dazai throws his life away so easily, and cares so little for his own safety; he still has a long way to go in that regard. But it’s still so beautiful to see how much he’s changed, and how much he’s truly begun to embody Oda and his legacy; the fact that he messed up and miscalculated, because Dazai isn’t infallible, but in turn didn’t hesitate to use his last moments to save Sigma. Oda would be so proud for everything he did here. :’ ) 💖

There are a lot of options for how Dazai will be saved, and by who, but personally I hope (and I kind of expect) that Sigma chooses to not give up on him and ultimately plays a role in saving his life, to return the favor and repay him for his kindness. Not only would it be a beautiful way to initiate Sigma’s ADA entrance exam as people have said, but it would bring the Dazai > Atsushi > Sigma chain full circle: Dazai saved Atsushi at the start of the series, allowing him to (spiritually) save Sigma at sky casino thanks to the growth fostered in him by Dazai, and now finally, Sigma could potentially save Dazai thanks to Atsushi kickstarting his own growth (and Dazai continuing it). Fyodor is overly cocky right now and so tunnel-visioned on killing Dazai, it’s possible that he has no idea that Sigma managed to escape the elevator and is now a wild card; even if Sigma doesn’t go as far as killing Fyodor himself (which I don’t want, tbh; that’s endgame stuff arcs down the line and imo Nikolai and Dazai should be the ones involved with that), he could throw a wrench in the jailbreak duel, and help Dazai and Chuuya get out alive. It would be poetic, and only fitting, for Fyodor to underestimate and be outdone by the kind of person Dazai told him is the strongest in chapter 77 -- a self-proclaimed “ordinary man” -- who could only have the strength to take such action thanks to the chain of kindness that Oda originally started. 💖

[panncakes]

i have not stopped thinking about dare you to death since i've seen that pilot trailer thank you very much