#an insanity inducing perfect mess

[panncakes]

i have not stopped thinking about dare you to death since i've seen that pilot trailer thank you very much

[seresinhangmanjake]

Could we please get Feyd x reader where they have an arranged marriage with feyd and the House Harkonnen expects her to be replused by him . But instead reader is completely obsessed with him and finds him so hot because he is lol and he can do no wrong. LOVE YOUR FEYD STORIES 💌

Unexpected

Feyd-Rautha x Reader

Notes/Warnings: None, i think. I mean, arranged marriages? That's not really a warning though. Anyway, i fear this kind of sucks. My writing has been messed up lately. Hopefully, you guys still enjoy it anyway.

Words: 2100

Feyd-Rautha Masterlist / Main Masterlist / Tag list

They’ve been chattering for what has felt like hours—going on about dresses and parties, servant boys they find particularly interesting—and at some point, your mind could no longer take the dull droning, and so you drifted onto thoughts of him. 

You know everything about him, read everything about his family. You saw his face in an updated textbook about the Great Houses, drawn in what you hope is a perfect likeness, because if it is, then he’s absolutely stunning. You’ve never seen anything like the Harkonnens, but then again, they look like no one else. They’re wholly unique and you want everything to do with them—well, specifically, everything to do with Feyd-Rautha. 

“I can’t believe they’re marrying you off to him,” one of your friends—the daughter of House Wallach—says.

You snap out of your thoughts, wondering when the conversation turned toward you and your soon-to-be husband. You hum in question, needing more time to provide an answer that won’t induce raised brows and dropped jaws. 

“Yes,” the other says—Duke Leto’s daughter, whose bedroom balcony you’re currently sitting on. “How can they do that to you? You’re their only daughter and they are giving you to a murderous House.”

“We’re all murderous Houses,” you quickly say, and from receiving the blank stares you’d hoped to avoid, raise your teacup to your lips to hide your blush. You take a sip, then continue. “What I mean is, history states we’ve all dealt with bloody hands. That’s how our families are where they are.”

“Well, the rest of us don’t kill anymore. Our families are praised, worshipped.”

“So are the Harkonnens.”

“Out of fear,” Wallach reminds you. “The Baron is vile, as if you don’t know, and he trained Feyd-Rautha to be just as insane.”

Insane. That word has been used a lot lately. Your mother shouts it at your father for his willing agreement with the Baron. Your servants whisper it amongst themselves when they think you cannot hear them. That boy is insane, they say. She’s doomed, they say. But you don’t see it that way. You’re not scared of Feyd-Rautha. You’ll admit you don’t so much care for the Baron, but that’s because you’ve heard of his treatment of your future husband.

People claim Feyd-Rautha’s a lapdog—you don’t believe that. From what you’ve learned, you see no puppy in Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen. You see a lion on the prowl, biding his time, waiting for the perfect moment to strike from below. You see a man hunting his dinner. You hope upon meeting, he gobbles you up as well. 

“Aren’t you terrified?” Atreides asks. “Don’t you think about your first night with him?”

You certainly do. Another sip of tea hides another blush. “I’m not worried.”

Wallach blows out a huff of breath. “Maybe you’re as insane as he is.”

Yes, you think maybe you are. 

—

Your mother struggles to hand you over. You’re the one who has to pry her gripping fingers from your arm so you can step forward and bow to the Baron. When you rise, you sneak a peek at Feyd-Rautha just to his uncle’s right. He’s as beautiful as his picture depicted. His eyes are just as glazed over with steel as you imagined. He looks at you, and the steel melts ever so slightly. His brow pinches. He swallows hard. 

“I trust my daughter will be well taken care of,” your father says, a puff expanding his chest. It makes him look no more menacing than he is. 

The Baron chuckles. “In the hands of my nephew, you can expect no less.”

You know it’s a lie. One corner of Feyd-Rautha’s lips quirks upward. He has plans for you—good. You like plans. You have plans of your own. 

He steps down the staircase that has held him above you and your family and takes your hand in his. He presses his lips to your knuckles. Your blood zings throughout your veins. If this is all it takes for you to feel this way, you can’t imagine what more will do to you. The thought of his lips in new places, his tongue in new places, makes your eyelids flutter. 

“My Lady,” he says. His voice is intoxicatingly low. 

“My Lord,” you say back to him. 

When you smile at him, the smirk drops from his face and his head jerks back. Cold, blue eyes scan your features for falsities, as if you wear a mask he can remove to reveal a frown. He watches that frown fall into place only when your mother comes up behind you. 

“Oh, my sweet daughter,” she cries, whipping your body around so she can properly hug you goodbye. “Don’t let them change you,” she whispers in your ear. “You’re too lovely for them.”

“I’ll be fine,” you tell her. You’ll be more than fine. This is the most excited you’ve been in years. And you knew it would be. That’s what he brings out of you…already. 

—

He likes you. Well, he likes you in a way—he likes the look of you—but it’s hard to say if he likes the rest of you yet. He sneaks glances where he can, but he doesn’t often allow you to be in his presence for long. He removes you from his training sessions when you peek in to watch. He leaves once you join for dinner, which you’re less than a fan of, considering it leaves you to his brother and uncle’s company. He does not come find you to say goodnight. 

Don’t you have better things to do, he’s often snipped at you when he finds you close by. You’ve assumed he means in preparation for the wedding in a week, but you told your new servants and planners to do whatever they want. You don’t care what the damn wedding will look like. You don’t care what you’ll look like. You just want him. You want to be around him. Watch him fight. Watch his muscles tense and shift and strain in the war of death. You want to see his body shine with sweat and his eyes harden with a murderous glare. But he won’t let you.

The closest you’ve been able to get to what you want is by sitting in the stands of the arena, where you have to observe his skills from a decent distance. And while it is wildly exciting to see the man you’re going to marry covered in the blood of enemies, you wish you could be closer. You wish you were close enough so he could grin at you as men’s bodies fall off of his blade. You wish he wanted you close to him because it’s killing you to be so far away. 

After days, you still don’t understand the separation. You figured your smiles at him would be enough to get the message across that if he likes you in any sense of the word, then he should be going for you as much as you would him if he’d permit it, but no. He keeps his space between you. Unfortunately for him, you’re sick of it. 

—

“I’m tired of you avoiding me,” you call as you chase after him down the darkened hallway. You’d been waiting outside his training room for hours, hoping his keen senses couldn't pick up your unsteady breathing as you prepared yourself for this exact confrontation. 

His steps stutter at your words and he pauses. He turns on his heel, and with narrowed eyes, advances on you. His form towers over yours, and in any other situation, you might detest the abuse of power, but here, now, you feel a sharp thrill. You try not to let his lack of shirt affect what more you intend to say, but it’s hard. You’re already swallowing saliva. You’re core is already throbbing. 

“Do you have a moment?” you ask.

Feyd’s muscles tighten and bulge as his arms cross over his chest. He huffs. “I don’t understand you. You’re like a little rodent, you know,” he says. “Following me around as if I drop crumbs for you.”

A lump catches in your throat. He hasn’t spoken much to you since your arrival on Giedi Prime, and you know cruelty runs through the Harkonnen bloodline, but you didn’t know he could cut so deeply with words. “I’m not a rodent.”

“You’re as annoying as one.”

“Because I want to be around you?” you ask. “Because I like you–”

His arms fall away from his chest and your head flinches back from the finger pointed at your nose. “You do not like me,” he snaps.

His voice, though low, bounces off the walls of the hall, an echoey repeating of those words that you almost can’t believe you’re having to hear. You’ve not given any indication that what you’re telling him could possibly be a lie, so you don’t see how he could come to that conclusion. Unless there are whispers in his ear. 

“Yes, I do,” you say. “I’m marrying you. I want to marry you.”

“You are not supposed to want that,” he spits.

“Well, I do!” you spit back. 

“Then you don’t make sense!”

You don’t know what that means, so you just stand there, staring at one another as you wait for him to explain further. He doesn’t, and you tire of the waiting, so instead, you take a risk by stepping closer, and with cautious fingers, you raise your hand to his chest. Your palm plants firmly against his skin, and then you feel it. His heart beating rapidly. For a second you think it’s from the training. But then you look up at him, at how his jaw clenches and how he struggles to meet your eyes. And now you understand.

“I like what you are,” you tell him. “I like that you’re strong. I don’t care that you kill. I don’t care that you crave the feeling it gives you.”

“You should care,” he says, still avoiding your gaze. “You’re meant to be a precious little Lady. That’s what I was promised.”

“And that is what you wanted for a wife?” He doesn’t give you an answer. “I’m sorry if you’re disappointed–” he snorts, irritating you further. “I’m sorry if that ruins whatever fun you intended to have with me. I know the Baron has been eager to see what you’ll do to me once we’re married.”

His head swivels back to yours. “He found enjoyment from the idea that you’d be repulsed by me,” he says. “And so did I. So you shouldn’t feel so comfortable.” He latches his fingers to your wrist and jerks your hand away from his body. His hand leaves yours. It falls back to your side and you instantly feel a chill without him. It won’t do. You see a glimpse of your marriage—a loneliness, a cold side of your bed. He begins to turn away from you. 

“You don’t now?”

He stops. “What?”

“You said you did find enjoyment in it,” you repeat. “Do you still?”

You can see his teeth grinding with the shifting of his jaw as he contemplates continuing this conversation. “They said you wouldn’t like me,” he finally tells you. 

“But I do,” you say. “I read about you. I liked you before I met you.”

He groans. His hand runs down his face. He steps back to you, an iciness penetrating your stare. “I had plans for you. Ones you weren’t going to enjoy.”

A smirk curls your lips. “I had plans for you, too. Ones I fully intended to enjoy.”

He sucks in a breath, his chest puffing. His eyes narrow as if searching for your lies. 

Without another thought, you reach up again and, placing your palms on his cheeks, raise onto your toes to press your lips to his. It might be idiotic of you. It might be the stupidest move you could make. He might gut you for the act, marriage alliance be damned. But the only interest you have is in getting your point across. 

His lips are soft—probably one of the few soft spots on him—and they taste of salt from the sweat of his training. He’s frozen for a few agonizing beats, but then nails are digging into the skin of your hips, the fabric of your dress doing nothing to keep the sharp sting at bay. Lips move in tune with yours. You’re pushed backward. You hit the wall, trapped between hard surfaces of stone and body. 

You ache for the man you’ve felt you’ve known for longer than you have. You ache for the heat of him. You knew it would feel like this. 

When the kiss breaks, you smile. “You’ll like me,” you tell him. “I promise.”

He sighs in defeat and says, “I know.”

[pupyuj]

Omg Omg this has been in my mind for so long😮‍💨 Imagine G!p manager yujin x idol reader who's like obsessed with her (like sick in the head obsessed, she would get jealous and all mad when Yujin talks to someone other than her and she would do anything to please her manager) and Yujin who uses that to her advantage to get and do whatever she wants with reader 😵‍💫

lowkey was mad as hell writing this (meaning i got too into it UMMM) so if this sounds intense or like i went overboard that’s whysjfhficnsrhck 😭😭😭😭

[cw: cnc (implied), g!p yujin, good ol’ manipulation, unhealthy power dynamic, dare i say abuse of power, like yujin really sucks lmao.]

at first, yujin really wouldn’t know what to do with all the attention you were giving her and she would actually think you were pretty weird getting all chummy with her for no reason… until she starts to enjoy it all and get weird herself 😵‍💫 she finds it fascinating how jealous you would get over the tiniest things! a few examples would be: her eyes lingering on some other pretty idol for too long, she’s talking to the female staffs for too long, she’s getting along too well with the other managers, or she’s smiling while texting some of her friends that you don’t know about… all of it made you mad, and also made you look insane! but yujin fucking loved it.

all of that made it all too easy to wrap you around her finger 😋 eventually you were just so desperate to be the only girl in yujin’s heart that you quite literally did everything she wanted you to do 🥺 yujin would act friendly to you and make little ‘helpful’ comments about what you should wear during airport appearances or variety shows or content videos until even your personal fashion style has changed based on what you thought was what she wanted to see from you!

to everyone else you were just doing what your manager was suggesting but they would never guess that it was something a lot darker than that since yujin makes your dynamic look so sweet and wholesome to your fans 🫣 you keep sucking up to her, letting her practically dictate how you play your career until you finally get what you want which was… well, getting fucked in the backseat of yujin’s car that conveniently had its windows tinted 🫢

she said it had been a tiring day for her and you wanted to make it better so.. that’s how you ended up spreading your legs open for her while she just rams her big cock inside you 🥺 didn’t matter if it was your first time, or that she was too big, or that you already came so much and made a mess on the seats—it felt good more than it hurt so you allowed yujinnie to rut away at you until she finally came deep inside you and make the pain, the insults she threw at you, and the headache-inducing hair grabbing all worth it…

manager yujin-nim starts using you like you were some kind of sex doll from then on but??? you were really into it??? but of course you were!! bcs this was everything you wanted—to be touched by her, to be loved by her, to be fucked by her… it was perfect! 😍 she drags you away every time there’s a break during practice and everybody thinks she needs to discuss some things with you but nope, yujin’s got you moaning and whining inside a bathroom stall, your legs wrapped tightly around her waist while she’s fucking into you like a dog in heat 🫠🫠 she’d tell you to keep your voice down but why would she make this all less fun??

yujinnie encourages you to scream her name, to beg louder, to cry harder and you actually do it, simply bcs it was what she wanted and she gets a hell of a kick outta that! and she’s so drunk on power that she really does just fuck you whenever she wants! 😋 whether you’re ready for it or not, yujin will just take your arm, drag you to a secluded area, and relieve herself using you 🥰

it’ll cost you your precious career one day and you know that but… you’re way too in love with the sick bastard that is yujin to even care anymore 🫠

[mirrren]

Major spoilers for ep 17 of 911

Ughhhhh okay I’m gonna get beat up for saying this but we throw around words like “gaslight” and “narcissist” so much online that sometimes I feel like there are a lot of people that don’t entirely realize what those words mean. Allow me to give a perfect example, from someone who was raised by a narcissist (hi daaadddd): watch the newest 911 episode and listen to the way Eddie talks to Buck when Buck gets home. I’m not even going to get into the train wreck of an argument they had before, no, for now we’re just focusing on the after.

Something narcissists love to do when they know they’re in the wrong is to shift focus. They’ll give you a gift they know you like, or take you somewhere special, all while ignoring the elephant in the room. It’s a way to manipulate your emotions. You’re so mad at them and then woah! Now you’re going to a fancy restaurant or you have a new diamond necklace. Or someone you miss has just come home from Texas. What a big family reunion this is. It’s a way to make them feel better about themselves, make them seem like the good guy. Remember in Tangled when mother gothel and repunzel got into an argument about seeing the lights, and then mother gothel came back home she announced she was going to make hazelnut soup? She doesn’t bring up the argument until she notices that her “gift” hasn’t shifted the blame effectively. Now, in Eddie’s case it actually works, and Buck doesn’t bring up their argument, so Eddie gets the glory of being the good guy.

Let’s rewind a little bit now. Folded sheets and a note that says “gone to the airport.” Do you fold your sheets when you sleep on a friend’s couch? Maybe if you’re polite. But the inclusion of this detail better serves as a way to hint to the audience that Eddie may be gone forever. Still it works to prove that Eddie had malicious intent. He could’ve put the note on the fridge. He could’ve written “brb” or hell, maybe even texted Buck to let him know. But he didn’t, I wonder why? Gaslighting 101 tells you that if you want to actually make someone feel like they’re crazy it has to be significant and insignificant at the same time. You can’t just say “no” and expect someone to be efficiently gaslighted. If you want to manipulate someone it has to be plausible, something you can twist or something you know they’ll forget. I was born at 10:50 but my dad always insisted I was born at 11. He was able to gaslight me through this because he knew 1. I didn’t have proof and 2. It was so close in time that it really didn’t matter. A few years ago he started to say I was born at 10:50 and any time I tried to argue that he always said 11 before, he would deny. I didn’t have proof that he said that, and I felt like I was going crazy.

Now, mirrren, you ask, what does your traumatic backstory have to do with Eddie Díaz of 911 fame? Hang on I’ll get to it. When buck came home surprised that Eddie was there, Eddie said “my note said I was going to the airport. The airport and Texas are not the same. They don't even have the same amount of letters in their—” which is true, but he never said he was going to be back either. It’s his tone that gets me. “Buck is so stupid for not realizing that he was coming back, Buck should’ve known, Buck is so lucky I’m around because I’m the only thing keeping him attached to sanity, I am a great person for doing this to Buck.” It’s patronizing, and it’s insulting. Narcissists do this a lot. Most of what makes gaslighting insanity inducing is the fact that the manipulator makes you feel like you’re stupid, like you’re just a kid. Maybe Eddie wasn’t intending to manipulate Buck, but his words and his tone indicate the opposite. If he wanted to make Buck feel like he left to Texas that’s still messed up for a friend to do. Even if I shipped buddie I would feel that way. Because this interaction was just so similar to how my dad made me feel every day of my life.

It’s understandable if those of you didn’t know that this behavior was a red flag. I don’t want to hate on any buddie shippers out there. But this behavior is concerning, even if it’s just a plot device or bad writing, it’s indicative of unfavorable characteristics and I can’t support Eddie after that interaction. I know it was an apology. He says “heard some dick was being mean to you” and sure I guess that is apologizing but does he ever say sorry? Does he even say that it was him that’s being mean? And if he did say sorry, or even if he did say it was him, what kind of apology is that? Make your best friend think you’ve left forever just to return with two people you know he likes? Nah I’m still mad, bud.

I had a lot more I wanted to say, but this is already so goddamn long I’ll cut it short here.

[lovely-keii]

hihi can i request sakusa, kuroo and iwazumi with an s/o who has really red cheeks THANK YOUUU

with an s/o with really red cheeks

characters: sakusa kiyoomi, kuroo tetsurou, iwaizumi hajime

SAKUSA KIYOOMI

your first encounter, he stays far, far away from you. you think he hates you until komori hands you fever medicine. “this is from my cousin. the gloomy one with the curly hair. says to get better soon.” you’re confused til it hits you, your cheeks. you laugh and turn to sakusa who’s standing at the other corner of the room. he realizes his heart fucked. “oh, my cheeks are normally this red.”

when you get together, he’s honestly so crazy about it. he thinks your cheeks look so good with a laugh from you. “smile please.” “…one more.” “another one.” “just take a picture, omi. my cheeks are hurting from all the smiling you make me do.” “but i already have one.”

god forbid you do any physical activity and you look the slightest bit sporty. the red cheeks with the athletic vibe to it ruin his entire serious, gloomy facade. “you make me go crazy, you know?” “huh?”

when he gets comfortable, he doesn’t want you wearing masks at home. “don’t cover it up. such a waste of a good view.”

KUROO TETSUROU

kuroo will be such a tease about it. he absolutely knows it’s just your cheeks being naturally red, but he will never let an opportunity to mess with you pass him by.

“wow, y/n. i haven’t even said anything and you’re already blushing.” you love him but sometimes he needs a good shutting up. “tetsu, if you don’t shut up…”oh, and when you get mad at him: “that’s crazy y/n, because a minute ago you were all red and flustered.”

has the most insane, diabolical, vomit-inducing nickname for you. “hey there, miss tomato shrub.” “where’s my pantone pigment baby?” “good morning, my little red stop light.” “give me a sec, angry bird”

but if you’re insecure about it, he gives you a cheeky grin and goes “i don’t get it. i think it’s perfect like that. all red for me.” “it’s not for you.” “that’s your opinion.”

IWAIZUMI HAJIME

at first, he thinks you’re blushing all the time. “oh, i didn’t know that would fluster you. was it really that romantic-” he’s kind of disappointed when he finds out you just have really red cheeks normally and that you didn’t actually blush because of him. “oh, thats, um, nice.”

he’s oddly…bewitched by your cheeks. sometimes, you two are doing nothing when he’ll suddenly stare at you. “hm? haji, you need something?” “mot really.” and then he’ll just squeeze your cheek. and not let go for a good minute or two.

one time, he’s arguing with oikawa and you hear him go “stop bragging, shittykawa. does your girlfriend blush 24/7 cuz of you? i didn’t think so.” “iwa-chan it’s a genetic thing!” “skill issue, skittykawa.”

you don’t even have the time to be insecure about it, because he’s always got his hands massaging your cheeks and kissing them like crazy. “keep it all red and cute.” “it’s not like i can control it, haji…” “‘s fine as long as it doesn’t go away.”

[hurtspideyparker]

What do you think about Marvel's move bringing back RDJ but now as Dr. Doom. I just wondered how this would affect Peter...

At first I was like OH MY GOD ROBERT DOWNEY JR. because I just adore! him! And of course I would love him back in Marvel, cuz I'm a sap and RDJ as Tony Stark revolutionized superhero cinema. Also "new mask same task" and striking the Tony Stark T pose? Legendary stuff.

Then I actually thought about the implications and the character, and I'm just not a fan. Bringing Downey back as anyone but Tony Stark is really weird, and doesn't make sense. Feels like an insane Tony Stark+Dr. Doom plot, which they made up just to get RDJ back cuz he's the money maker. Plus Dr. Doom deserves a new unique actor, especially a Romani one. I do love Dr. Doom as an MCU villain though, if he is cast properly. If they were gonna bring a Tony variant into the MCU make him a TONY variant, using Dr. Doom isn't it. Although under different circumstances I'd love to see more of RDJ as an antagonist, he's an incredible actor (his 1998 film US Marshalls started a fire in me for him to play more villains).

ANYWAYS - ignoring all the negative stuff, let's talk about Peter Parker!

I'd like to imagine a scene where Peter is fighting Doom - he's using his usual quips, being silly. He thinks it's just another day, another villain. Doom is incredibly strong and it's a tough fight, but Peter just manages the perfect hit to tear Doom's mask off.

Then he hesitates.

While scarred and cruel, the sight is still unmistakably familiar.

"Tony?"

Doom doesn't waver, he strikes Peter with deadly and immediate force in his moment of weakness.

Peter goes flying backwards, smashing through glass and brick.

He's hurt, badly, lying still on the floor beneath Doom. Bloody and torn Doom leaves him there, a pitiful and easily distracted kid. He doesn't know what he said, nor does he care. Von Doom just squashed a bug.

Left alone, Peter suffers from the ache in his body, the hit to his ego, and the biggest question - what did he see?

He questions whether he was drugged, or having a stress-induced hallucination. It doesn't make any sense for this to catch up to him in the middle of a battle. That's usually when he's most focused and level headed.

Sure, he used to see Mr. Stark. In billboard models with goatees, in the kind smile of a professor, in the corner of his eye when walking down the street. He never thought it was really him though, and it's been years since he's been struck so painfully with memories of his old mentor.

This, this is completely different. He stared right at Tony's face as clear as day.

Maybe Peter drags himself to the nearest hero. Still bloody and bruised, but he has to tell someone what he saw. Who is there? Who can he call? Hawkeye? Bruce Banner? Daredevil? They may not know Peter Parker, but he's still Spider-Man. He has a big name, and I'm curious who's taken notice.

Personally, I'd kill to finally get a Spider-Man and Fantastic Four team up in theatres. With the FF movie coming out and Doom being a big nemesis to the team I'm really hoping we get some Fantastic Four and Avengers interactions.

Anyways. Peter warns them, or does research on his own. He obsesses over this Doctor Doom.

Fast forward, maybe Doom and Peter work together against another evil, or Doom's own invention. Or maybe they're just near each other enough to get to know one another.

Doom and Stark do have some things in common, and I think that would strike a chord in Peter. Doom is an intellectual, a scientist, he's a self-absorbed perfectionist.

Doom commends Peter on his genius, his capabilities. Offers him a deal to join him and put his brain to good use. It would hit too close to home for Peter. A kid who wanted nothing more than to be like Tony Stark, to be strong and intelligent. To have his old mentor look at him and acknowledge his effort.

It messes with Peter's head and brings up his unresolved issues with Tony. It makes him sick.

Peter Parker got erased, and now it's like he's reliving his youth and trauma in some twisted and dark remake.

Maybe there's something bigger at play here. Maybe someone is haunting him, torturing him.

Laughing at him.

[angelofthenight]

What Doesn’t Kill Me Pt.2

(Yandere!Alex DeLarge x Fem!Reader)

Warnings: Yandere, Dark themes, Ladstat, Swearing/Language, Unhealthy/Abusive relationship, Jealousy/Possessiveness, Social isolation, Obsessiveness, Controlling behavior, Intimidation/Coercive control/Power imbalance, Emotional/Mental trauma, Violence, Gangs, Manipulation, Physical abuse, Snake phobia, Boundary pushing, Mentions of Rape/Non-Con, Paranoia, Sexual context/themes, Alex is his own warning, You are responsible for your own content consumption

Word Count: 3.9k

Table of Contents

~

Alex Delarge was nothing but a sadistic maniac with a disturbing infatuation for you. A lunatic who could never keep it in his pants. A sociopath who acted like he’s never seen skin before. A monster who claimed to simply be in love.

And the belief of being in love was the worst thing a monster could have.

Despite his charming tone of voice and smile, despite him telling you in different words and metaphors that he loves you, he was awful to you. It was as if his infatuation and fascination with you further eroded any remaining empathy he possibly had left in him before he started to like-like you, which made him indifferent to the suffering or pain he inflicted upon you and others in the name of his delusional love.

And one of the things that created a confusing and fear-inducing environment for you was the fact that he casually alternated between moments of false kindness and extreme violence. He could be playing with your hair and telling you how pretty you were one moment then throwing a glass cup full of liquor at the wall beside your head in the next.

He used your own fear to keep you grounded and dependent. He used threats to you and others to strain you from seeking help or “tattling”. And along with fear, he employed manipulative tactics to isolate you from your friends and family. And the people he couldn’t exactly detach you from, like all of your coworkers and management, he charmed them into thinking he was this picture perfect boy.

Because of this false image of himself, you’ve despairingly found him repeatedly warmly welcomed into the restaurant you worked at. So you couldn’t even get away from him at work. Sometimes he would bring his droogs with him and seat themselves into your section. You’d watch from the back with tears in your eyes before swallowing them to go and wait on the criminals, knowing Alex was just going to flaunt his dominance over you to the boys by jokingly mocking you as you served them. They never tipped, though some days you noticed Pete linger behind the group a bit to sneak in a 15% tip under the bill.

Alex was possessive and controlling, yet he continuously pretended that he wasn’t insanely jealous of all your interpersonal relationships. He isolated you from all your friends with the threat that he would do something violently heinous to them, and he had proved to you to be true to his threats after multiple instances. He also had cut off any contact you had with your family. He claimed that he was all the company you’d ever need.

Even though his love was intense and twisted, and despite the mix of obsession and a desire to control every aspect of your life, you were still allowed to still go out and continue your life just… with no interactions longer than a minute. Especially with boys. Just seeing other guys around you drove Alex absolutely ballistic and homicidal. It was often when he would lash out at anyone who got too close to you. His overprotectiveness and his jealous greed just all overwhelmed him. He had repeatedly gone to extreme lengths to protect you, even if it meant resorting to violence. But in his twisted mind, he believed that his actions were justified simply because he was acting out of his love for you.

Even though other gangs already used to stay away from you when Alex simply just pined after you, now they really wouldn’t touch you now that you belonged to Alex. And if he ever found out another gang messed with you he would maul them all like a savage bear. He became increasingly violent and controlling, going to extreme measures to eliminate any perceived threats to this relationship of his.

He wasn’t going to let anyone get in the way or let anyone take you away from him. Not even you.

He’d use manipulation and mind games to keep you grounded, but he mostly just used fear and violence to control you. And it was a frequent thing that you found your throat being squeezed by his large hand in a fit of rage or just for fun. It took awhile, but he finally trained obedience into you. And with your obedience, only from you being utterly terrified of him, you finally got to see where he lived.

He was like a little boy excitedly showing you his room, tugging you by your hand to show all his records, especially the one from the band that united the two of you in the first place. They say that one’s bedroom was what the inside of their brain looked like, and you agreed on that statement when taking in Alex’s bizarre room. Especially when your eyes honed in on a very large poster on the wall of a traced girl with her thighs apart, her fingers spreading her vagina open.

Alex noticed where your attention was and stepped next to you to say while smiling, “Don’t get jealous, it doesn’t compare to the real thing.” He glanced down at your crotch with carnivorous eyes before telling you he had something to show you. You didn’t pay him much mind as you then dropped your concerned focus to the small four Jesus statues in a dance line, their hands still having bloodied nails.

You finally turned your head to check out what Alex wanted you to see only to be faced with a five foot long Boa Constrictor snake. You screeched loudly and flinched backwards, you couldn’t help it when you had a slight phobia of snakes.

“Don’t be poogly, my lovely, he’s not venomous. This here is Basil!” Alex said to you cheerily, holding the snake out to you as it laced around his forearms. Your eyes grew wide as you paled, you wanted to faint just at the sight of it. And the thought of touching it…

Either Alex didn’t register your disquietude or didn’t care as he wrapped his heavy snake around you starting with your arms and ending with your shoulders. You froze up completely with your features trembling in alarmed fright as the snake slithered around you, making your heart beat rapidly. Your lips were quivering and your eyes appeared blurry from growing tears. You would’ve thrown it off you if you didn’t feel paralyzed by the fear that if you just moved a muscle it would strangle you to death. Yet that fate seemed kinder than the fate with Alex.

It wasn’t until the snake slithered around your neck when your arms began to shake uncontrollably and a palpitation conquered your chest. As if it felt your pulse tap against its scales, it slightly tightened its hold on you. You snapped and loudly begged Alex through stuttered whimpers to get it off of you.

He callously giggled before he unraveled it from your jittery arms. “Alright, alright, don’t lose your head!” He joked. You did not find it funny.

Alex would make you listen to Ludwig loudly and make you listen to his rants and complaints about his day and his droogs. From what it sounded like his droogs have been questioning his leadership, you kept your theory that they were probably plotting behind his back to yourself. You eventually got to meet his droogs when you were once leaving Alex’s and they sat in the area at the bottom of the stairs. They already knew their place with you.

Alex only allowed his droogs to say hi and bye to you and maybe ask how you were doing, but that was it. You were an occasional topic the three droogs discussed when Alex wasn’t present, specifically about what they should do with you if they usurp Alex. Georgie had a fantasy of having his way with you simply because of how much Alex endlessly threatened them about you, like how you belonged to Alex and if they ever touched you he would castrate them. So fucking you would be like the ultimate middle finger to Alex.

But Georgie and Dim didn’t really see the appeal to you. Of course you were absolutely breathtaking, they all had eyes and wet dreams, but you just looked like you were about to bawl your eyes out at any given second. Alex fucked you up so much that if they tried to do the old in-out-in-out with you you’d probably just let them. And that was boring to them. You were like a doormat and plus you just kind of… bummed them out.

Though, Pete secretly had a harmless thing for you, always being the first to say ‘hi’ to you and the last to say ‘bye’ to you; being the only one of the three to ask how you were doing, really abusing the one phrase that Alex allowed them to say to you.

You could recall one time when you were descending Alex’s stairs to see them all waiting for Alex who trailed behind you. “Hello and goodbye, boys.” You said hoarsely with a pink puffiness circling your eyes and cradling your bandaged dorsal side of your arm that Alex had bitten into too deeply during a long night of fornication. Georgie and Dim both unenthusiastically mumbled a “hello, (Y/n)” in unison as you quickly passed them with your head hung low. You went straight into the rusty elevator and hit the button just as Pete squeaked out a “bye, (Y/n)”.

The doors closed yet because of how crappy it was, the elevator needed a quick minute before it could move you down. So you heard the beginning of the conversation that was about how Alex was late again so they came to wait for him. Georgie noted that he had been spending an awful lot of time with you lately and Dim joked that “The girl might’ve rotted your brain a bit?”

There was a haunting silence. The elevator finally jerked and started moving down just as a loud crack of a cane was heard followed by a pained yelp. It made you jump backwards in startelement, your back hitting the wall of the elevator as the continued sounds grew more distant.

You had spent the night at Alex’s many times, waking up to his nude body behind you with his arms cradling your nude body tightly against him; your back to his chest. His twin bed was small, not being built for two people sleeping next to each other, so the only two positions you could sleep in were him sleeping right on top of you or him squeezing you tightly against him to fit.

He always slept in which was torture for you as you always found it difficult to sleep around him. So you would stare into space for hours in a gloomy and drained state. You couldn’t get up and leave as his door had a combination lock on both sides. He’d spin the lock too fast for you to memorize or even catch the numbers.

Most days he’d send you off right away if he had a busy day ahead of him or before his parents had the chance to speak to you. But some days he’d keep you around a little longer just to take up your time. But because of this you once met his social worker who let himself in to have a discussion with Alex about his school attendance.

Alex, in only his underpants, stood behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist, resting his chin on your shoulder as a way to exemplify his innocence to the social worker as they talked and a threat to you to not say anything. But despite you not saying a word, the older creepy man took a mental note on your downcasted mood and quaking eyes. And the subtle bandages in a few places on your body.

But despite the horror of vulnerability in his home, you had grown to find your own home much more horrible.

You became a housemaid in your own home, a slave and a captive. Alex expected your flat to always be neat and tidy when he came, and better than how he leaves it. And not just simple tidiness, he would run his finger over surfaces for dust. He was a nitpicker about what needed to be cleaned or organized. Despite him not getting violent or aggressive about it, just his mere disapproval scared you enough to cater to those expectations. You couldn’t even fall asleep before scanning your whole flat in fear he would find something you didn’t notice to complain about.

You always had to cook for two just in case he showed up, always unannounced, ready to eat dinner or lunch with you (he never woke up early enough for breakfast but you would rather be safer than sorry). And every time you didn’t he would accuse you of not wanting him to show up, leading to him either brutally slapping you or choking you against the wall. And it had to be food he liked. And you always had to make sure there was milk and alcohol in the fridge, as well as drugs and marijuana he forced you to get.

There were oh so many times when you were extremely close to switching one of his drugs to a physically identical yet fatal substance. Yet you lived in the unearthly terror and dread that he would find out.

You lived on edge at home, jumping at the smallest creaks and you destroyed your clock as the ticking drove your anxiousness absolutely mad. You were a mess of a person, a neurotic person to be more exact. You just never knew when he would show up. Show up to hurt you for fun, draw blood, fuck you into the mattress despite your pleas of ‘not tonight’, smother you in his unwanted affection, forcing you to listen to his jokes about all the monstrous things he did the night before in graphic detail.

He acted as if the innocent, simple dates he took you on and the expensive gifts he bought for you with stolen money evened it all out. But it didn’t. He had damaged you inside and out; emotionally, mentally, physically, and sexually.

You became a constant jittery person so the sound of a knock at your door nearly gave you a heart attack, jolting in a shake in your spot on the couch.

But… Alex never knocked.

You feared the day had come. You feared it was the day the droogs finally took down Alex and now they had come to kill you for knowing their crimes and identities. You were confident in your theory that the droogs were going to stab him in the back, and so you spent many nights praying at the foot of your bed for it to happen since it seemed more realistic than Alex’s death or arrest. Yet you also found yourself praying to God for the droogs to show you mercy and spare you. But that specific prayer didn’t feel as listened to, nor realistic to you.

So you slowly and cautiously walked to your front door with shaky breathing pumping through your lungs. You delicately placed your hands on the door so you could carefully peek through your peephole. Your shrunken pupils saw a boy your age from your college standing in the hall with his hands patiently in his pockets. You flinched away from the door when he knocked again, the worry for both of your safety’s embraced you like suffocation. If Alex knew about this…

You wanted to go hide and wait for him to leave but the fact you shared a class with him made you think this might be important. So despite your paranoia that Alex would learn of this interaction with the opposite gender, you unlocked and opened your door the size of your shoulder width. You didn’t greet him as you quickly looked down both sides of the hallway to check for your unhinged and possessive boyfriend.

When the coast was clear your obviously nervous eyes looked at the awkward guy, waiting for his explanation. He awkwardly smiled softly, his hands fiddling in his coat pockets. “Hi, I know we don’t really talk, but I’m in your anthropology class.”

You acted like a kicked puppy and looked like a sad clown painting, clinging onto your door like you were about to slam it at any second. “Yes… I know you…” You glanced down the halls again before looking him up and down. “…Why are you here?” Your voice was hoarse and quiet; shaky and weak.

The boy, whose name you recalled as Patrick, removed his hands from his pockets to nervously fold them together. “Well, I know it’s not my place but I’ve noticed you have been missing a lot of classes lately, which I found a bit out of character for you compared to how you’ve always been in school.” He said, referencing how you used to always be an exceptional student… before Alex conquered and messed up your life patterns.

You kept avoiding eye contact, glancing around the hall then looking to the floor then to the wall behind him. You wiggled a little bit in nervous discomfort. You wished he would stop digging and leave the way he came. “I just… I have bigger things going on in my life right now.”

Patrick nodded with saddened features. “I know. That’s not the only thing I came here to say. You might know my girlfriend, Sheila? She’s roommates with your friend Adrienne.” You shifted again, because of Alex you no longer interacted with any of your friends anymore. And the one you kept socializing with, one that called you often when Alex was at your place, had a violent surprise run-in with a masked gang wearing white and codpieces. You avoided her after she got out of the hospital, for her own safety and your own guilt.

“…We don’t really talk anymore.” You spoke in a hushed tone, staring at the floor again. He slowly nodded again with a sorrowful frown. “Yes, I know. Adrienne said you completely shut her out out of the blue one day, same with the rest of your friends.”

You didn’t respond. You didn’t even know how to respond. So you remained silent.

“It was actually Adrienne’s idea for me to come here. But I mostly just came here on my own accord.” He started with a firmer tone of voice. “I know your boyfriend. Alex. I’ve seen you guys together a lot around town. I went to school with him before he was held back then put in the correction thing, and our fathers work together.”

You shrunk away from him, squeezing the door and the doorframe while glancing into his concerned eyes then the floor once again. “…I’ll tell him you said hi then.” You said, beginning to lean back to close the door but his voice halted your action as well as him reaching out to you but not close enough to touch. “No, no. What I’m trying to say is…” He took a long pause, seemingly trying to gather the right words as he bit the inside of his cheek and his brows curved upward.

“I know what kind of person Alex is. And, forgive me, but I can’t help but worry about you. I just wanted to stop by and ask if you were okay. Because if he’s…” he tried to think of a softer way to say what he was suspecting was going on in your relationship, “doing bad things to you I can help you.” He ended his statement and offer with a frown and consoling look.

Your head began to feel dazed and a thick lump sat in your throat that you just couldn’t swallow away. You glanced around the hallway again, feeling your paranoia and fear crawl up your back like snakes with the intent to strangle you. “I appreciate your worry,” you finally made eye contact to use all your strength to morph your face into contentedness and force a small smile, “but I am happy and doing just fine.” But your smile merely looked like someone put fish hooks in the corners of your lips and lifted them up by the thread. And the thick gloss in your eyes and your eyebrows that curved up only made your expression more unsettling to Patrick.

“I’m happier than ever, I really am.” You forced yourself to say. Yet visually and audibly pretending to be happy to be with Alex made you ferociously sick deep in your stomach creating a nasty nausea, your mind only replaying the most traumatic things he’s done to you from the horrific raping to the strangulations.

“Are you sure?” He pushed, wanting to hear the consenting approval of his help from your own mouth. Your forced smile began to shake like it was a heavy weight you weren’t trained to hold, and your tears also grew so unbearably heavy that you believed if you just blinked they would cascade down your face. “Yes.” You forced yourself to say again through your shaking teeth and self-repugnance. You forced the words of, “I think you should go now.”

Patrick frowned but gradually nodded. He said something as he slowly turned on his heels to leave but the ringing in your ears deafened it out. He was leaving, this was the first person to seriously reach out to you and offered you help and an escape, and you were sending him away! Were you really going to pass up this rare opportunity? You were practically digging your own grave and picking out your own tombstone. You were walking towards the edge of the cliff while thrashing your arm out of the hold of someone trying to tug you away from it.

You realized you couldn’t live in fear of Alex forever, you had to take the leap of faith and trust yourself to outsmart Alex. All you had to do was make a phone call when Alex wasn’t around: the early morning where Alex would still be asleep at his flat. You wanted to leave Alex more than you ever wanted anything ever in your whole life.

“Wait… please.” You squeaked out in a hushed tone as the tears finally drizzled out of your pink eyes, Patrick quickly returning to his previous stance to face you. You weeped for a few seconds to gather your thoughts before you moved to the side to rip off a corner of the morning paper that laid on the coffee table beside your door, grabbing the pen as well. You handed them both to him. “What’s your number?”

Patrick smiled happily for you before quickly jotting it down and handing it back to you. You quickly hid it in between the pages of the newspaper. You looked back at him with your bottom lip quivering and tears still swelled up within your orbs. “Thank you.” You croaked through your restrained sob, eyes bright despite the tears as you appeared like you’ve seen an angel.

Someone had finally sent you down a rope into your hellhole.

[toy-powerhouse]

Are there some Rottmnt episodes you do like? You can name any episodes you can think of

"Pizza Puffs." I have a love-hate relationship with this episode. I ironically and unironically like it. It has all of the most egregious aspects of the series that I would usually ridicule, and yet something about it makes it so bad that it's good. Or at least good to poke fun at. Leo, Donnie, and Mikey are mostly useless. They would rather poison themselves and laze about than do anything productive, let alone heroic. Raph is the only one with a smidgen of sense and decency, and yet he's constantly dragged down by his three terrible brothers and arguably made a worse person for it as a result. Their collective unproductive antics literally driving him insane, because… Comedy? Then there's Ben Schwartz's awful, cringe-inducing rambling improv in the bakery scene. It's a mess, but somehow an entertaining mess. It's the perfect example of how bad the show can be. Which it usually is. Bad that is.

"The Purple Jacket." As much as I find Donnie to be overrated and dislike how much attention he's showered with by the show writers and fans, I have to admit this is a pretty alright episode. I remember watching it and thinking, "Huh, so maybe this is why people love this show so much. If the show continues on this trajectory, that would be good." Only for it to not do that. While it's definitely rushed given the 11-minute format, it's still a competent episode for how focused it is at getting its point across. It's also a nice glimpse into what the series could've been had it allowed the characters to care about socializing with others outside their family.

"Operation: Normal." April tries to go on a date with a girl while Donnie and Leo inadvertently ruin it while dressed in old lady drag. Aside from "Warren & Hypno, Sitting in a Tree," this is the gayest episode of the series and it's a travesty that that isn't recognized enough among fans. None of this, "Oh, April and Sunita are just friends” this or “April just wants to be friends with Sunita" that! Bullocks. I'm mostly being facetious with this take, but with how Warren and Hypno are portrayed as being as close to a romantic couple as possible, maybe there was a similar intent with April and Sunita.

Directly above: April’s very, really, totally, definitely, absolutely straight friendship imagine spot vision of Sunita.

This episode also brought to us the gift of Leo in his natural habitat, right where he belongs: the trash.

Honorary mention goes to "Always Be Brownies." Casey's Girl Scouts rip-off, world domination scheme is really dumb, even by this show's standards, which is saying something. However, Splinter and April’s father-daughter relationship is actually pretty sweet. It just demonstrates how their relationship is probably the most genuinely authentic and healthy familial relationship in the entire series. Splinter also has that same sort of chemistry with Casey, who, mind you, is basically a complete stranger who's holding him captive and threatening his life. Yet he immediately seems to have a better rapport with her than with his own sons. I like to headcanon that part of the reason Splinter neglects the turtles is because he always wanted daughters, and he resents them for being boys instead. Like with all parental neglect, it’d be a reason, not an excuse for his negligence. Nevertheless, had the series been more focused, especially in the first season, that and other rationale behind his behavior had the potential to be explored in greater depth.

[lavvys-headcanons]

So I was wondering what you would think of the Skelebois with a Male S/O (or gn if you want) who's just generally really energetic and kind random. Think like a golden retriever bf but like, on crack (def mixes coffee and redbull just for shits and giggles). They can chill out for a bit from time to time but most of the time it's more of a “yes I turned an old couch into a very impractical motorboat. What of it?” Kinda vibe. (Undertale, Swapfell indigo, maybe horrortale and dealers choice for whoever)

-chocolate fo you 🍫🍫🍫🍫

AU Bros With A Chaotic S/O

Undertale-

Sans: He's so chill with it honestly. Like, he'd take your little gremlin concoction of multiple energy drinks and chug them with you and you both can die together in bed with an insane migraine. Don't get me wrong tho, he still won't get off his ass, so maybe just carry him if you wanna take him on adventures. Like he'd love to go on a date to the Hotlands and mess with Undyne with you, maybe just backpack him tho.

Papyrus: He's gonna try and parent you, snatching away your stuffs he thinks is, "dangerous", (Which is, but we won't admit it.) Look on the bright side, he can actually match your energy! Minus the chaotic-ness, you guys are a perfect pair of being golden retriever partners!

Swapfell-

Nox: The brat isn't gonna wanna run around, so he'd definitely get you one of those backpack leashes and make you wear it when you two go out. (It comes back to hit him when you just drag him along.) He probably won't indulge in the energy drinks, but he will in coffee tbh. If you time it right with his coffee, he'll be hyped enough to go around the house and mess with the other skele-boys.

Rus: On occasion, he'll jump up like a cat when you surprise him, but he'll never admit it. Lets you get your energy out of your system before he decides, "That's enough, cmere you devil", and yoinks you from your lil schemes. He'd hide you in his pocket if he could, but he'd probably squish you if we're being honest.

Horrortale-

Ash: Nervous at first when he met you, but warmed up quick when you guys got closer and got together. He's a bit too nervous to go on energy high induced adventures with you, so maybe just settle for a hike or walking around together for now?

Poplar: He wants to make you happy, but he needs you safe. His favorite methods of doing this, is either holding your hand when going out, or, alternatively, yanking you back with the hems of your clothes (lovingly). He indulges in silliness, and once you somehow convinced him to boil his pasta in energy drinks. Didn't taste good, but he ate it to make you happy.

This was a fun one to break my hiatus with tbh! I stuck with it gn, hope you don't mind, and have a lovely day!

[ameliamusic]

Part 1.. (killing floor)

Word count: 802

Overview:first part of the series ,killing floor, (I suck with titles). The Original character,June, has a secret admirer at school. Something causes her to come to school early and she catches them. Is it for the best that they found each other? You decide.

(There will be smut later chapters but it happens when they are legal adults. It’s rlly sweet and cavity inducing, but also many rough patches along the way.In my opinion I think it gets better with each chapter because I am an amateur.Hope u like it.😃)

Tags: @loveinhereyes-flowersinherhair @chromations @starstruckfangirlsposts @itchycooparrk @classicrocknlove

Starts in October of 1964

For the past two months, June would arrive to school with excitement flowering within her. Because for the past two months, when she had opened her locker. She would find that someone had slid a square inch piece of paper in it.

She could never forget the first note he left for her. Opening the piece of paper that was folded like a letter, June put her eyes upon the blue ink. Every letter written made up words of undeniable admiration, passion, and happiness.

Pausing to process for a moment, June shakily put it inside her pencil case. Her face became hot, and she looked around the hall embarrassed, making sure no one saw how she was being affected.

Thinking to herself, "what the hell? Why wasn't it addressed to anyone?"

To anyone else it might've seemed a little stalkerish. June didn't care that she should probably be a lot more cautious. Having no friends at school anyway she figured she might as well look forward to something at school.

With every passing day, the notes steadily got more heavy on praising her beauty.

June could practically feel the persons longing oozing from the carefully penned words.

Every time she eagerly opened her locker in the morning it was like a butterfly garden was steadily growing inside her.

Slowly filling up.

"Maybe I'm was becoming an addict to this kind of affection," June thought.

Addicted to the passion someone took their time pouring into a small note.

June got a note everyday, and everyday brought it home, where she put in a box.

Each note received planted seedlings of hope somewhere in her brain. Convincing her more and more each day that this person was genuinely devoting their time into making her day. It was almost enough to drive her insane. June had been denied affection her whole life. So it turned into a drug.

After a month she decided to start writing back. At the end of each day, she taped a small piece of paper to the bottom of one of the slots in her locker. Every time she did this she wrote the same thing.

"Thank you, I'm not sure what I did to deserve this. I really would love to return the favor someday."

She made sure it was perfect. Sometimes even spraying her perfume on it. Hoping he would notice, or care.

And without fail the person took her note. But they never signed their name.

Today June went in early to school. The chemistry teacher had asked all of her students to come in early if they needed to study before school.

Feeling stupid, she raised her hand. Halfway through the study session she felt the urgent need to go to the bathroom.

June rushed out into the hall, thinking obsessively about how dumb she had been to forget to go earlier. "God why today of all days?"

She stopped dead in her tracks. All of that suddenly didn't matter. Because June looked up from the ground and a lump rose in her throat. Her heart raced when she noticed someone was at her locker.

A big mess of blond hair turned to face her. Big, bright eyes widened underneath the mass of waves.

His long hand was in front of one of slots. Immediately after locking eyes with June, it shot down quickly. Flinching slightly he suddenly tore down the hall, his long legs aided him in his swift attempt to get away.

Without hesitation June followed, chasing her addiction. She desperately wanted to know who this boy was.

He turned the corner.

Following, she stopped in her tracks and was met with the boy standing right in front of her.

The boy was facing away from June as she rounded the corner.

Nearly knocking him over when a voice ahead shouted,"What are you two so early for?" Looking up June gasped in fright realizing it was the headmaster.

Ogling at him, June and the boy stuttered, desperately trying to escape the harsh eye of the adult, and looked at their feet embarrassedly. "Well?"

"My parents couldn't get me to school unless they took me early, sir." The boy said politely. The headmaster turned to her. But June was too distracted thinking about the boys sweet lilting voice.

Flustered June managed to croak, "I'm doing an early study session with Mrs. Blackly. Sir." Gripping her hands together so tight her knuckles had turned white.

June possessively grabbed the boys wrist, knowing the headmaster couldn't see. She smiled to herself, for she had finally trapped him.

The headmaster nodded and said, "Alright, Robert hurry back to class now. No funny business."

June held back a giggle. "There was no way people actually talk like that," she thought in amusement.

"Mrs. Wood hurry back to class." And with that he walked off and turned the corner.

(Smallest chapter)

[pen-and-umbra]

SE appears to be intent on slightly expanding Jenova lore, which was not present in previous installments. It will be interesting to see how this plays out in the remake, particularly in the Nibelheim flashback. 

The remake portrays Jenova as a master of illusions, citing her abilities to create visions during the Jenova Dreamweaver battle. The enemy's description posits the entity induces hallucinations, while FF7R Ultimania suggests that it messes with the minds of those who come into close proximity to it. Sephiroth elaborates on this in the first Rebirth trailer:

They say she's a monster. That she can peer inside you into the very depths of your soul. That she can become those you hate, those you fear, those you love.

The implication is clear: Jenova somehow probes an individual's mind, scans memories, and chooses an appropriate illusion to weave. Given that this predatory behavior was used on the Cetra, I assume that being injected by Jenova cells is not a prerequisite in and of itself, but it may serve as an amplifier, making an individual more susceptible to mind-reading and later indoctrination.

In light of this and the released Ever Crisis information, does this imply that Sephiroth experienced the same pattern when he came into contact with the Jenova vault in Nibelheim? With all the turmoil of looking for his mother/origins brought to the surface by Genesis' intervention, his mind may have presented an easy target to hijack. Could Jenova have created the illusion of Lucrecia in a tube — „become…those you love“? Sephiroth's onset of insanity aside, a woven illusion and mind manipulation could explain a seemingly absurd course of action, such as cutting off your supposed beloved mother's head and dragging it with you: he could have been seeing something else that a player — via Zack or Cloud POV — could not. Something woven by Jenova's hallucinogenic effects. Furthermore, his body language during the breakdown is not too dissimilar to that of Cloud in the Remake, when the latter experiences hallucinations. Gripping head, shaking, nearly doubling over, etc.

If Jenova remained in a vegetative state — bodily faculties disabled but brain/mind function intact, in whatever measure it applies to the entity — then coming into contact with a perfect live host, essentially a hybrid, such as Sephiroth, could have triggered a sort of awakening (in which case, a dormant state is a better description). Its next logical step would be to break free from confinement. Given Jenova cells' longevity and corruption abilities, it stands to reason that the entity could regenerate/reassemble its body if the "brain" remained intact. From that perspective, it makes sense that the only thing that truly needed escaping was her head. And sure enough, the deed was carried out.

If SE chooses to emphasize Jenova's importance as this lurking eldritch horror in Rebirth, the scenes provided by Ever Crisis could add a new and interesting angle to Nibelheim events. If her meddling with Sephiroth's head is brought into light, the Nibelheim slaughter may be mixed with Rhadoran or Wutai war scenes, with Sephiroth hallucinating himself back on the war-torn battlefield among enemies and "traitors". Could be a nice touch to show his mind slipping completely. In fact, it could fit in with the glitched fire sequence from Sephiroth's story announcement teaser, where his adult and teen selves intermixed and overlapped each other.

[eri-pl]

Silm reread 12: Geography :(

Aaaand now it's the time for a geography lesson, says the narrative.

Nevrast (Turgon's pre-Gondolin kingdom) is a Noldorin-Sindarin mixed culture. Nice. I assume Gondolin will be like this, too? And still, Eol took an issue with it being too Noldorin.

Finrod is above his brothers, and has the most land and is allied with Cirdan. He deserves it all, he is awesome. <3 Except the part where he doesn't tell Thingol about the shady stuff.

Morgoth's servants all hate water and do not go near the sea unless they really need to. I wasn't sure that was canon.

Ungoliant is mentioned again. She poisons water and it makes people insane. Wait, is this the place where Nienor will later get lost?

Nargothrond's location and surroundings described in detail.

Maglor's gap has horses, oh, so that is why "Maglor the horse girl" is a thing?

Finrod travels a lot, visits Ambarussar and Green elves and what not. Who rules Nargothrond when he's away?

No Noldor go through Ered Lindon in the First Age. I'm not sure if I need this information for something, but maybe.

Chapter XV: more Noldorin drama

Tumladen the Hidden Valley. Mhm. I feel like I've seen this morpheme somewhere more popular. :)

Turgon's Ulmo-induced anxiety is also a thing that sleeps and wakes, because Tolkien's poetic language. (I like Eldritch Oath, but it is a hc with no stronger textual support than the alternative, I think)

Turgon works in secret. And it is not very bad. (He still ends up loving it too much and dies, but he's a very mild case of this problem anyway). also, it takes 52 years (4*13, like deck of cards; or 2*26 and 26 is on of the numbers of perfection in the Bible, iirc. Maybe it's just random logistics.)

Ulmo appears to Turgon (in physical form not in a dream, as he later "returned to the sea") and infodumps him. Gives him a manual on what to do + a prophecy + you will mess up anyway + but it's ok I will send you a reminder + so leave here an armor in this exact size and style. (Really, Ulmo does give Turgon the exact size for the armor, helmet and sword.)

I have a feeling that (at least in Ulmo's opinion) Turgon isn't the brightest fish in the sea.

Meanwhile, Melian asks Galadriel what the problem is and Galadriel doesn't want to speak about it. Also, if seems like the Hiding of Valinor hid it also from Melian's mental information-gathering abilities? She sounds like normally she should be able to see what happenned but now she's not. Huh.

Important points Melian says:

the Noldorin princes never mention the Valar

the sons of Feanor are arrogant and cruel (this is pre-Kinslaying!)

[later] fate of Arda is bound to the Silmarils

[later] the Eldar cannot recover them on their own

Galadriel tells her about the unrest and what Morgoth did, but not the murders, oath or ship-burning. And refuses to say more.

Melian goes to thingol, Thingol also knew something was off and had been thinking about it. Melian warns him against the sons of Feanor, Thingol says that Feanor was a great Elf (according to what he heard) and his sons are sus, but useful as allies.

So, we have a (sort of) answer why Thingol didn't want to talk with the sons of Feanor: they were behaving so badly that (based on gossip, but it migcht have been well-founded gossip) he did not want to deal with them. Huh. for 400-ish years? Not even talk to them to see on his own? Weird but ok.

Now Morgoth starts spreading gossip among the Sindar. how? I would assume Sauron and thralls. I wonder why didn't he earlier tell the Sindar about Alqualonde. Did he not know? So how does he know now? I can't figure out his strategy here.

So Thingol accuses Finrod of being a kinslayer. Finrod is very nice to his cousins and diplomatic. He prefers to be blamed for something he didn't do than to tell on his cousins. But Angrod is still angry at Caranthir (after a couple hundered years, I think. huh.) and tells on them.

Is this why his name is Angrod? Because he gets angry so easily? (+after-the-fact Elvish etymology)

Anyway, Angrod explains he before didn't mention it because of loyalty. Huh. the earlier chapter said something slightly different, but ok. And he talls on them… except the Oath? Kinslaying and ship-burning is mentioned, but no clear indication that anyone told Thingol about the Oath. Which is interesting. Gives a lot of space to my favorite type of conflict (where each side has some good points, but they do not fully know other side's situation).

Thingol kicks them out for a time, and does the Quenya ban, which is directed at the Sindar only. Nothing in the book suggests that Thingol tried to ban the Noldor from speaking their language. Just the Sindar. And they listened. And avoided those who spoke it (which confirms that the Noldor did speak it with no ill consewuences greater than social ostracism). Everyone started speaking Sindarin, only the Noldorin princes spoke to each other in Quenya and the loremasters used it.

And we end on Finrod's sad foresight.

[randoosreal]

BLURRYFACE POWER LIST (since y'all want it so bad)

(I did not make the left art)

[All his powers are of a special rank, Perfect, ensuring they cannot be cancelled, deleted or otherwise negated in a cheesy, cheat-y sort of manner with either magic and/or physical means. You wanna fight him? Play fair. And by fair I mean by what he defines as fair because that's how a fight with him goes.]

Immortality (specifically, he cannot age and he can regenerate from even the tiniest shred of his being.)

Hazing (A status effect Blurryface can stick to his next attack. Upon a successful hit the enemy sees everything as if they were partially blind, with only a blurry mess of the colors around them visible to them for around 20 minutes.)

Proprietation (A powerful form of eldritch mind control, this ability allows Blurryface to select up to 10 people at a time, inducing an immediate, irreversible rewrite of their minds upon them. The affected individuals become horrifically loyal mindless slaves to Blurryface, but still having access to any abilities they may have had beforehand. The longer someone is proprietated, the more features they gain like that of Blurryface. For example, some people might receive a similar tail or claws like he, but the most common feature are the same six horns Blurryface bears.)

Elder Horror Physiology (This basically means that Blurryface's form can induce insanity, mental breakdowns and, in extreme cases, suicide, if he decides it should be so.)

Biological Manipulation (Blurryface can manipulate, absolutely, the flesh sacs which the soul and spirit is contained in, twisting and manipulating people's physiologies however he deems fit. He can deform someone into a blob of meat, give someone extra limbs or even a canine head coming from the stomach, among other things.)

Power Assessing (This allows Blurryface to immediately know the abilities that anyone else around him has, innately. He will also automatically know the ins and outs of the powers, which allows him to viciously abuse weaknesses and/or loopholes he discovers.)

Space + Time + Information Superiority (This ability is always active and makes Blurryface completely ABOVE the laws of space, time and information, allowing himself to disobey the laws of physics, thermodynamics... You name it, it's very likely Blurryface can easily circumvent it.)

His Disregards (This power allows the most recent action taken against Blurryface to make it as if it just did not happen, at all. Meaning right as Blurryface is given the killing blow to be slain, he could use this ability and practically say "You did, in fact, just take an action. But, seeing as I believe it to be a dumbass action, I've elected that not only am I going to ignore it, but also that it never happened to begin with, because I said so." before striking back.)

Eigengrau's Archival (This power allows Blurryface to take any point in time, at all, and then to make the universe see eigengrau as that period of time is completely fucking erased from having ever happened. So, let's say... Blurryface doesn't like a character he's fighting having been born at all. Fine; he can just erase the point in time from when that character's mother birthed him, erasing his entire existence in a flash of instantaneousness.)

Hazeform Summoning (This power allows Blurryface to summon a blurry clone of himself, which will copy his every move down to the minutest of twitches. He can only have up to 20 summoned at any given time, but he can direct them to instantaneously teleport to any location he can either see, knows exists and/or that he knows the exact coordinates of. He can also control the direction they're facing.)

Darksider Summoning (A power taken from some of my brother's characters, Blurryface can summon shadowy silhouettes of his foes, which I believe are 5% less powerful in every given aspect than their original counterparts.)

Illusion + Illusion Magic Mastery (Blurryface is completely fluent in both the art of casting illusions to fool foes and to use illusion magic, a different type of magic that summons illusions and then, at the most unexpected of moments, makes said illusions real.)

Sigil Casting (Blurryface has 6 types of sigils he can conjure to do different things for him. Here they are:)

- Ward ((Used to make invisible barriers that block entry through doorways, hallways and such. Blurryface himself is not affected by these wards but he can have only 6 up at a time.))

- Damage ((Used like a mine, placed on some surface, normally on the floor. Whenever something touches the location where the sigil is hidden, it bursts out with harmful magic and damages the victim greatly. Blurryface can place as many of these as he wants but any two Damage Sigils cannot be within a foot of each other.))

- Zip ((This sigil must have at least two different sigils placed in different locations, and Blurryface can see these sigils but nobody else can. When he steps into one of these sigils, he can use them both one time to instantly, untraceably zip between the two points. He must place new ones after this.))

- Summon ((This sigil allows Blurryface to summon up to 50 small creatures, 20 medium creatures or 10 large creatures to do his bidding until he either unsummons them or until they die.))

- Trap ((This sigil works similarly to the Damage Sigil but instead of harming the victim, it encases them in an inescapable magic prison. If the prison is not moved it stays for 6 hours. If the prison is moved at all and is used to, say, relocate the person inside somewhere else, then the prison lasts until Blurryface dismantles it.))

- Kill ((Only 3 of these can be active at any given time, and these are the deadliest sigils Blurryface has access to. These can either be directly casted at a foe or can be placed as a mine-type Sigil. In either case, whether the person steps on the trap or if the attack hits them, they roll a metaphorical dice between 1 and 2. 1 = immediate death, and 2 = the victim is fine.))

Possession (This allows Blurryface to take over the minds and/or forms of other people and things, gaining extreme control over their bodies or even quickly possessing some poor lackey he fooled into thinking he favored them for an alliance to use as a meat shield to take damage he doesn't wish to take.)

Spectation Form (This form can either be toggled on by Blurryface or is automatically the default form assumed by Blurryface when someone or something he is possessing becomes uninhabitable for some reason, such as it being completely obliterated. This form allows Blurryface significant speed buffing, intangibility and the ability to fly. However, he cannot be sensed by any detection systems and he cannot interact with the world around him. Fortunately, this also means he cannot take damage while in this form.)

Initiative Rearrangement (This ability allows Blurryface to sow disharmony in the synchronicity of multiple creatures fighting him, by causing them to become disorganized and to have their turns, actions and locations all changed, swapped and flipped on their heads to make everyone trip over each other as Blurryface either viciously retaliates, taking advantage of the weakness he cleaves in these groups with this ability, or slips away from their sight like a fucking rat, evading capture, injury, death or, otherwise, action from the afflicted group at all, while said group regains their senses from the insane bullshit that just happened to them.)

Concenbreak (Oh, what's that? You're concentrating on a powerful spell to trap Blurryface, damage him or to deliver the final attack to end him? Nope! Because with this power here, Blurryface can cause any concentration on anything to immediately break like a wine glass hitting a concrete floor, making the opponent immediately distracted and giving Blurryface enough time to do what he is going to do next.)

Electrokinesis (This is just broken. If you understand just how integral electricity is to most things, you know how fundamentally horrifying Blurryface having that power is. If you don't... allow me to elaborate: Blurryface can manipulate light, heat and even control matter itself because of the fact that all of that requires electricity to happen. Which Blurryface can control.)

Power Stealing (This is exactly what it sounds like Blurryface can steal away a power (or a spell) and then, with the help of another power, Spell Steal + Numerance, he can either immediately use the power/spell against any foe in sight or he can EAT the power/spell to regain health and, depending on how strong the power/spell is, give Blurryface a small buff in power himself. Either way, the foe forgets that they every had the power/ever knew the spell to begin with, essentially removing a power from their list or a spell from their mind in an author-like manner.)

Pocket {x10} (This goes hand in hand with the above power, as it offers an alternative fate for the power/spell that's yoinked; it can be stored away in a magical hammerspace that can hold up to 10 powers and/or spells at a time that Blurryface can extract and use at any given time.)

Curse Control (Blurryface can use this ability to dream up of any curse his twisted, eldritch mind can dream up, and then he can inflict these dreamt curses upon his foes on a whim.)

Difficult Field (This power is always active and allows Blurryface, or at least the area within a 1-meter circle of him, to be difficult to navigate because of erratic, harmful magic filling the area. It causes slight but rapid-fire damage when someone other than something Blurryface permits to be in the area is in said area. However, it doesn't just damage; it also cuts their speed down to a snail's crawl while the foe(s) are within that area.)

Attack Zip (This power dictates that when Blurryface has a successful hit landed upon him, he is immediately teleported up to 15 meters away from the source of damage that harmed him.)

Wall-Crawl (This allows Blurryface to defy the laws of gravity, walking {or nightmarishly scuttling like a demon} across vertical surfaces or even on ceilings.)

Contortion (This allows Blurryface to completely twist his body around in impossible ways, like spinning his arms backwards 360° or unhinging his jaw open to make sounds that'd instill terror into the hardiest of minds.)

Existential Distinction (This power is probably one of the most broken Blurryface has, as this power essentially distinguishes himself from EVERYTHING. He is nothing like anything has ever seen, running on a whole new alien system of magic and morality. In fact, this has many consequences. His mind is fathomless from of this distinction he has from every other thing to ever exist, and he is unable to be predicted or... well, interacted with properly at all by anyone else. His self is as rigid as bedrock, with possession and mind control attempts dinging off Blurryface like a rubber ball hitting a wall of steel. It's just not possible to get to Blurryface like that.)

Injury Rift (This allows Blurryface, when he receives an injury of some kind, to turn it into a rift to his home dimension, known as Nmadnehss, where horrific eldritch horrors of all kinds could slip out. When he decides to use this ability immediately after getting injured, a number between 1 and 7 is chosen. 1 = nothing came through the rift that was made and 7 = a veritable, whole fucking tidal wave of horrors come out from Blurryface's wound.)

Plane Jump (This ability allows Blurryface to instantly hop between the dimension he's currently in and any other dimension he so chooses, zipping from realm to realm as much as he damn well pleases and making foes that are capable of chasing him go on a wild goose chase after Blurryface, all across the multiverse, and making those who aren't... well, rip their hair out with frustration as this fucker gets away yet AGAIN.)

Hotswapping {People Edition} (Blurryface can use this ability to completely unweave groups of people that rely on certain people being able to do certain things... by just swapping out certain aspects of two people between said people. Power lists, personalities, traits, or all three, AMONG EVEN MORE POSSIBLE OPTIONS! THE POSSIBILITIES ARE ENDLESS!!!!!)

Age Control (Blurryface can manipulate the age of other entities, making them either so young they pop out of existence or so old they disintegrate into dust {or just get a bad knee 😭}. Or anywhere in between.)

Tile-Based Twisting (This power allows Blurryface to organize the battlefield or the whole world as he sees fit. When he uses this power, Blurryface sees the world as separated like a grid, each side of each square being a meter long. Blurryface can shuffle these "tiles" around to change the appearance of the world entirely, swapping out some places with others and the like in incredibly complex manners.)

Force Stress (This power can be applied in two different ways; it can either be applied to matter to cause a huge amount of stress to wrack the object that was targeted, most times causing it to just shatter... or it can be mental stress upon a person that usually just causes them to go batshit insane.)

Action Retake (If either Blurryface or an opponent makes an action that Blurryface doesn't quite like but wants to be different in how he handles it, then this powers the go-to. It basically reverts time to a few seconds before the targeted action takes place, giving enough time for Blurryface to recalculate the move to get a better result out of it.)

Torrent Energy Supremacy + Control (This power allows Blurryface to control the erratic, eldritch energy that flows through his veins and though the void of Nmadnehss, called Torrent energy. Although by no means is he a god of this force, he is the supreme being behind it. If that makes any sense.)

Temporal + Spatial Lock (This power allows Blurryface to lock down and make inaccessible chronokinetic abilities other people have entirely, and it can also be used to lock down powers that manipulate space such as teleportation, portals and warp speed, among other things.)

Spectral Spiking (This power allows Blurryface to use his power to summon a spike of Torrent energy, hitting a creature's body and spirit as it both stabs into them and sends them flying down to the ground very quickly, demobilizing enemies that like to stay up above Blurryface where it is a tad bit more difficult to reach them effectively.)

Zenith Monument Raising (This power allows Blurryface to raise up to 5 large, black towers from the ground which are topped with a blob of Torrent energy. These masses of energy can shoot beams of magic that travels in an erratic, jagged manner until it gets to Blurryface where it merges with his body to make a constant connection, boosting his regeneration speed and effectiveness as well as giving him more buffing and power than any of his other abilities would allow. These monuments also are not only flowing with immense amounts of Torrent energy but they're made of solidified Torrent energy as well, making them invulnerable to all but the strongest magic attacks.)

Temporrent (This allows Blurryface to shuffle the flow of time, making different events and moments within a set period of time happen within random points in this period, randomizing time in unpredictable ways to make things that much more confusing.)

Circadia of the Realms (This power allows Blurryface to make the very magic that runs through a dimension do certain things. One particularly horrid thing he can do is make a realm's magic go dormant, making it utterly inaccessible while Blurryface has all the Torrent energy he damn well pleases. He can even make only certain areas magically dormant as well; he's that good at controlling that much power all at once.)

Eidolon Summoning (This ability allows Blurryface to summon an Eidolon, a perfect copy of a foe that can only be used against them once per fight against that person, but if used the Eidolon will look like a better version of the foe it's hunting and will be 5% better than them in every conceivable way, kind of like how Darksiders are 5% worse than their original counterparts, in every conceivable way.)

360° Vision (This allows Blurryface to see around himself in a 360 degree circle with no blind spots in his vision.)

Blindspot (This is a type of portal that Blurryface can use and it looks like a blurred part of reality itself, like an oval of blurring. Blurryface can zip through these and make as many as he wants. He can also make one Blindspot have a split chance of having Blurryface go through one of two it's connected to, or he could make a bunch of Blindspots connect to one.)

Deflection (This power allows Blurryface to deflect an ability or spell usage back at someone, such as deflecting a lightning spell back at its caster. Easy as that.)

Self-Detonation (Blurryface can cause himself to violently explode in a shower of flames, heat and spikes, after which he can reform and do it again if he wants to. He does this if he's in a situation where he's pinned and cannot escape. He also reforms at full health, essentially using this as a health resetting function.)

Prismatic Paragon (This allows Blurryface to summon a thick, glass-like energy shield that refracts and randomly flings around attacks that hit it, but the chaos never hits Blurryface as long as he's behind the Prismatic Paragon when it's doing its thing. After 30 seconds of this it desummons and the attacks it refracted and flung around that haven't hit anything yet vanish.)

Eidetic Memory (Blurryface's memory is one of the best sort there is, with anything or anyone Blurryface has met and/or seen, even if only once and a glimpse, to be vividly remembered for the rest of his days.)

Blurred Bloom Creation (Blurryface, when he frequents areas or casts some heavy magic in an area, the Torrent energy that lingers seeps into the ground and sprouts a few Blurred Blooms, colorful flowers with petals that look like Blurryface's horns. These flowers give slight buffs to Blurryface when he's around them and can act as beacons to the locations where they gather. If Blurryface stops going somewhere where Blurred Blooms are, they will eventually wilt away and vanish entirely after a few weeks. They also have a unique siphoning function, discreetly drawing magical energy from either the environment around them and/or individuals that get within a meter of them into their stems and processing it into Torrent energy which is then given to Blurryface when he goes around them once again.

Psychometry (Blurryface can simply touch a magical object or feel a magic force and immediately know the magic energy and the systems that govern it or the magic item by heart.)

Electrozipping (This allows Blurryface to use electricity to travel from place to place, going through televisions, radios, mobile devices and just about anything else that uses electricity.)

Apportation (Blurryface can teleport anything that isn't himself near himself, or just directly into his grip.)

Cross-Dimensional Awareness (Blurryface is acutely aware of all universes and can peek into them remotely at any given time, and in more than one, all at once. He also can see OUR universe this way.)

Telesthesia (Literally just what ties into one of the main uses of his Cross-Dimensional Awareness; the ability to send remote views of any location to Blurryface's mind immediately.)

Life Force Consumption (Blurryface can, in fact, draw the life force out of someone and eat it for sustenance and health, while also draining his enemies' health and sustenance.)

Salvation Negation (By way of a special marking he can cause to be permanently scarred into someone's flesh, he can make holiness and divinity flee from them, with nobody to help them. This mark is also used to mark the very few cultists of Blurryface that exist.)

Bane Beam (The Bane Beam is essentially a thick, solidified black block of Torrent energy that is not only highly concussive but also adapts the way it deals damage depending on what the person it's hitting's biggest weakness is.)

Scry N' Spy Halting (This power is always active and seems to cause any attempts at remote and/or secretive reconnaissance on Blurryface to just be colorful static to those who try it. Cameras have the effect and spies have that effect completely overtake their vision.)

Far-Reaching Influence (This basically allows Blurryface to reach farther than he could ever normally do with his arm length, interacting with things over 500 meters away from him.).

Hell Sphere (This item, acquired by way of thievery, transports anything it hits directly to a pocket dimension inside the handheld sphere, which is like Hell but without the Devil and without any thing there at all. Just fire, pain and suffering.

Torrounce (A summonable bouncy pad of Torrent Energy that draws power from other Torrounce pads in a 1/2 meter radius around them, meaning a bunch of Torrounce pads in the same area will have all of them bounce much higher than just one would.)

Hammerspace (An invisible pocket space used to store items, no matter how big or small or impractical or reasonable.)

Mad Evocution (This ability allows Blurryface to evolve, in a sense, gaining a few more powers and a more imposing, stronger form after he completes certain randomly decided tasks. There's no known cap as of now as to how far this evolution can go.)

holy shit this took me 3-4 hours PLS LIKE THIS 😭😭😭😭😭

[aihoshiino]

i rambled about this scene off of tumblr a while back so i'm just going to copy over my thoughts from that time because i basically would just be paraphrasing them anyway:

everything here clicks so well with that idea of like. ai was everything and did everything that everyone ever asked of her and none of it was ever enough. perfecting the smile that makes people happiest and then being criticized for it feeling fake when something fake is what they asked for in the first place.

it's so insanity inducing just from an outside pov, people demanding she be perfect and clean and pure and fake while also criticizing her for being Too Perfect and doing things Too Well and it's just!! it really is no wonder she was such a mess by the time she was 20 and it says SO much about what a brave, resilient person she is that even then, she was still doing her best and holding out hope

[eruditic-akechi]

heyyyyy queen lol (rhineposting)

part 1 of my dumb thoughts about rhinedottir, except it's just highlighting the fact that alchemy has become an actual hyperfixation for me and not a haha funny joke interest 😔 (except except there no alchemy here but the next part,,,)

chronic and acute exposure to forbidden knowledge and the abyss but it is rambling, incoherent, and I switched from writing this on my laptop to my phone halfway thru

(Knowing of the comparison of forbidden knowledge/abyss to radiation also helps the understanding of this I'm just realizing that!!!)

I don't know. I just feel like Rhine ended up with a double whammy when it comes to abyssal stuff because she was messing with it long before the cataclysm. So far, we don't know if the Art of Khemia was inherently tied to the abyss, but by the time Rhine came around, it was certainly being used! So methinks it'd be plausible that she got a lower dose of abyssal corruption over longer periods of time (chronic) and then ended up with a much higher exposure over a shorter amount of time during the cataclysm (acute). The latter is more obvious because her lil corrosive creatures got out, and I'm sure all living Khaenri'ahns got exposed to that level of corruption. The acute exposure leads to the more obvious symptoms (like dains arm and presumably why most khaenri'ahns we see wear a partial mask), but that's not new information, seeing as most fan designs for Rhine have some sort of similarity to the others!

The biggest thing that wrinkles my brain is thinking about her chronic exposure from using the abyss in her alchemical endeavors. I think the majority of her mental decline stems from this because the main symptoms are said to come from prolonged exposure and include things like hallucinations, delusions, insanity, and, most importantly, a change of personality by exacerbating desires. This is also why I think it's important to have a degree of separation when talking about Rhinedottir and Gold; Gold is the cold and strict woman who threatened (and went through with) leaving Albedo, the one who unleashed her abyssal creations in the cataclysm. Her desires of wanting to complete her primordial human project and achieve perfection have been exacerbated by her corruption to the point that it is all she cares about, why she abandoned her son and became the Great Sinner. On the other hand, Rhinedottir is the loving, proud mother that Durin described in all of those weapon descriptions. While her side projects were important to her, she had the ability to care for other things and genuinely wanted to help her nation. Both sides are her, but the difference is how poisoned her mind has become. Also, we don't know about hallucinations, but she definitely was a bit delulu and insane.

Besides the mental, I think she'd also display some physical characteristics of abyssal corruption as well! The major symptom from abyssal corruption is a worsening cough (that ends with coughing out ur insides... but she can't die, so... yeah), while forbidden knowledge specifically can lead to more. It is what led to Eleazar... I'm sure you can figure out where I'm going with this... Yes, I like to think that Rhine induced symptoms resembling Eleazar. While the progression would be different and whatnot, I just like the idea of her being chronically ill. But, her condition tends to stay relatively stable, unless she's actively meddling in abyssal shit again,,, like Alice can Tell when she's fucking around and finding out again because she'll start coughing hard enough to cough up blood and she's clumsier than normal and Alice can just tell she's fatigued and in a lot of pain🥲 but her flares stay at this level and it doesn't progress into to late stages of Eleazar. Also she does have the scale like sores, but the other half of her corruption conveniently mostly overlaps the affected spots, which has led to a kinda cool effect where the scales take on the abyssal colors!

This has taken literally far too long to write out because my brain hasn't turned on all day and uh yeah me no thinky so I'm gonna cut it here for now idk if this makes ANY SENSE lmao

Tldr Rhine got a big burst of abyssal exposure when all the other Khaenri'ahns did, but also long term exposure to forbidden knowledge and abyss which has made her go nuts and end up with an Eleazar adjacent condition because I said so

[oennpellmell]

I never had a dream where I was lost a school, late to work or couldn't find the bathroom. My dream are usually themed around war and or the planet destruction. They are pretty fun to have, it is like I am in my own action/catastrophe movie). One of my recurrent dreams is a tornado being on its way to destroy my house, and nobody beside me is reacting. It is pretty infuriating to try to convince people that are apathic to move their asses before it is too late. And I do this one often enough to be able to control it and not repeat what I have done in previous attempts (in fact, I have a bunch of dreams like that.) I still have to find a way to get my family out, to this day. And I won't talk about that one traumatic dream I had where I relived the "War of the Worlds" for an entire month, not repeating it, but by picking it up where I had left the story the previous night. Not being able to escape no matter how many time I woke, is a feeling that is still haunting me.

However there is one peculiar stress inducing dream that I actually wrote down after I woke up, as it was a real perfect set up for a horror film. Nothing gore, no blood every where. Nothing of the sort. That doesn't scare me. No, it was more unsettling and harrowing. I was alternatively incarnating four people in that dream (two men and two women) in a small lake town surrounded by fogs and inhabited by mostly fishermen and hunters. But there was something else living in the area that turned everyone against each other. It was like the town was plagued with murder and disappearance. And each of my character where at the same time a victim and a culprit, depending on the point of view the story was seen from. Except I was witnessing their life out of order, so I wasn't able to tell who among them was the killer. Until I realized that two of the characters that I was being were already dead when the story of the two other was happening. All of them where connected somehow, all of them seemed to have met at one point, and yet none of them had any relationship with one another. Despite all clue leading to believe otherwise. The build up of that dream literally give me the impression that each of them were losing their mind as the world slowly turned against them, until eventually they met their doom. It was only at the end of that dream that everything was made to frame my characters one after the other, and none of them realized it on time, while enduring ostracization. It was so insane and messed up that I felt completely helpless, as if the reality I was experiencing had nothing to do with the reality the other village folks were depicting. Until I had the big reveal as to what was really going on in this village and how even more messed up this all was in reality. Not to mention there was literally no possibility of survival for any of the character I was. Extremely unsettling and only turning around the idea of people building distrust and rumors until all human connection were lost. I titled that story "The Friend". And I sure want to make that story one day.

everyone has dreams about being lost at school, late to work, cant find bathroom etc but whats yalls most common Uncommon stress dream. ill always have dreams about having various problems with my fish tank