#could literally talk about them forever so if anyone wants to provoke me further feel free!

[pokemonswshfics]

hello friend! :D i had accidentally posted this draft of it before i was finished, that's why the message of the request is a screenshot, so sorry for the slight wait :"D have a good read! + (i didn't really know what speaking up meant , so it's slightly different for each in terms of "speaking up" hehe i hope you all enjoy 💛)

// because of how long this post might be, I'm gonna leave the read more button right here before all of them. they're sfw but I wouldn't wanna clog up anyone's tl :'D k byee ^-^

Raihan/Kabu/Piers × Shy Male! Reader (Sfw)

Raihan × Shy Male!Reader // S/O (Sfw { mild cursing })

You stood outside Hammerlocke stadium waiting for your boyfriend as he said to meet you there. You had on his jacket, with the hood up because of how many people were around. This didn't stop reporters and fangirls from coming up to you, all bombarding you with questions.

You simply pulled the hood down and shoved your hands into the pocket. It wasn't that you were trying to be rude, you just preferred the attention be on someone else. Literally anyone else.

"How does it feel to be Raihan's first public boyfriend?"

"Hey! Look up here for a quick photo, it wont hurtcha. You're already so cute from what we've seen!"

"Do you love him?"

"Are you gonna stay under there?"

If it was up to you, you would stay in your boyfriend's clothes forever. It was a perfect hiding spot.

"I-I would prefer..not to answer." You stuttered out quietly and stepped closer to the gym doors. The attention got overwhelming at times but you would do this forever if it meant being with Raihan. He was worth it.

"What's annoying about Raihan? Isn't it tiring, that he puts his whole life on the internet?"

You scowled a little and pulled your hood down farther. "I think it's cute." You said under your breath.

"Don't you wish he was champion instead? He always fails at beating Leon!"

"What?" You said softly and lifted your head up a little, but not enough to be seen. The people surrounding you only saw this as invitation to ask more.

"Isn't he a little full of himself when it comes to battles? You can answer us!" Someone said excitedly and shoved a microphone towards you.

"Fine, take this for an answer." You almost snatched the microphone from their hand and frowned at them. "No, I do not find Raihan annoying. I'm very proud of him for even having a gym in the first place. He doesn't need to be Champion to be accomplished! Who the hell are you guys to even be asking stuff so rude? Are YOU Champion?"

Your hood fell back to your shoulders by the time you were done talking. Instantly, camera flashes hit your eyes and you tried to cover your face with your sleeves. You were still beyond angry, and it only increased as you heard the people begin talking again.

"Aw, so cute!"

"Are you really dating Raihan?"

"Raihan got lucky!"

You clenched your fists and dropped the mic you had snatched to your feet.

Then you lunged at a reporter.

Two women screamed, one yelped because of the sudden action and right before you actually touched the man you were going to attack..

"Hey." You felt a pair of strong arms pick you up and throw you over their shoulder. You were met with a back side that had a dark navy shirt on, and navy gym shorts. The Dragon Type uniform.

"Calm down, Tyrogue headass.." Raihan chuckled and you blushed at the familiar teasing. You could hear squeals from the crowd, the same one you would have attacked with your bare hands had it not been for Raihan coming at the last second.

"Put me down! Put me down! Put me down!" You said quickly and began waving your fists in protest. "They weren't being nice about you!"

"Not worth your time, babe. Thanks for keeping him occupied." You could practically hear the grin in Raihan's voice as he began to turn back to the doors of his gym to carry you in. You faced the reporters again and now looked up at them with a scowl. Their faces were all in awe at Raihan carrying you. Some continued taking pictures.

"Oouu let him put me down and I'll- do not very nice things!" You growled quietly and shook one of your fists at them.

"Baby, calm down." Raihan giggled from above you as he even paused for photos a few times just to frustrate you playfully. You pulled the hood further down your head, still cursing reporters as your boyfriend carried you past them.

***

Kabu × Shy Male! Reader (Sfw)

At almost all times you were sitting or standing next to Kabu. It wasn't that you didn't like the rest of the gym leaders, it was just something you did for comfort.

You were in a meeting with the rest of the Gym leaders, sometimes you tagged along with Kabu when invited. The other gym leaders didn't mind, they were the ones inviting you sometimes.

Right now they were discussing new ways to (as Raihan said it) "spice up" their gym missions. Kabu wasn't on board and it showed.

"Come on, you guys think challengers might not get bored of the same thing every year?" Raihan sighed and sat back in his chair. "Same old thing, I'd be bored out of my mind."

"Good thing you aren't a challenger then." Kabu replied, crossing his arms. His irritation showed to you and you nudged his knee with your own under the table lightly. "Our gyms will be led how we would like, and I like mine. I'm keeping it the way it is."

"Come on, no need to get mad." Raihan chimed back and half smiled. "Either all of us or none."

"I'm keeping mine how it is, I've done too much for it since Opal gave me the gym." Bede remarked.

"Come on, Bede..you're the newest of us, take some advice! Change it up a little." Nessa said and sat up.

"I'll k-keep..mine." Allister stammered out and looked down to the table.

"I'd like to change mine." His older sister, Bea smiled widely and pumped one of her fists up. Raihan high fived her, attempting to now convince Milo and Melony to change theirs.

Kabu's eyes furrowed then he looked towards you, smiling with tired eyes. He playfully rolled his eyes while nodding to the other gym leaders. You giggled quietly in answer.

"Come on Kabu, lighten up. Keep up with the times!" Gordie practically whined out. Kabu tensed up once again, and you could feel his anger rising once more.

"Don't tell me what to do. My gym, my rules." Kabu stood and looked around now with a frown. If provoked, his temper could easily appear. You looked to the other gym leaders, Allister (even with a mask, you could tell) was nervous because of how Kabu could get.

"Ugh. They're just ideas-" Bede groaned sassily.

"They're stupid ones!" Kabu slammed one of his now balled up fists onto the table you all sat at. The gym leaders were used to his hot headed self, so it didn't bother them and they never planned on telling him anything like "calm down", or "be nice."

"Kabs." You stood up, still slightly avoiding eye contact with the rest of them and grabbed his elbow softly. "Calm down, they were just trying to give some advice." The other gym leaders now all looked at you, some with slightly widened eyes. 

Kabu’s cheeks turned a light shade of pink, you could feel the tension in his body go away as you began to rub his arm. He turned toward you and the anger in his eyes was gone, now replaced by warmth when you looked into them. Raihan smirked from the other side of the table.

Kabu grumbled something then sat down, his face burning up. “I-Yeah. He’s right. I suppose I should calm down, you all are just trying to help me. I apologize for calling your ideas stupid.” He crossed his arms and avoided eye contact. You followed and sat back down with him, then looked up and realized all the gym leaders were now staring at you, either with shocked faces or grins.

“I’m so sorry if I interrupted your meeting- I just wanted Kabs to calm down and-” You could now feel your cheeks begin to darken with embarrassment and you hid your face in your hands, not even wanting to finish your own sentence.

“Why are you apologizing? You got Kabsy here to calm down, something none of us could do. And you did it without thinking he might take out a Pokemon and burn you alive or something.” Raihan chuckled and turned to Kabu, with his chin being held up by his palms. “You got a soft spot?”

Your boyfriend scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Let’s just get on with the meeting, I don’t have time to-”

“For me he does.” You teased softly and took one of Kabu’s hands in your own. This only caused the red in his cheeks to return and for him to hide his face in one hand, groaning. 

“You should come to meetings more often, dear!” Melony practically squealed out, Nessa nodding in agreement. 

Raihan laughed loudly then looked towards you. “No, seriously. Calm your man down sometimes.” He grinned.

“Let’s get on with it!” Kabu said loudly and waved his free hand in the air but was still looking away from everyone to avoid his blush being visible. He didn’t take his hand from you though, now he intertwined your fingers. You smiled a little more at the action and squeezed his hand in return. 

“Alright, Alright...” Raihan bit his lip and reached down under the table only to pull out a folder with a playful squeal.

“Let’s change our uniforms!!” There were chuckles throughout the table of people, and you began to feel more comfortable with all of them, simply by holding Kabu’s hand. He turned his head toward you and smiled a little, as to not make it obvious to the rest of them. 

You giggled again and prepared to listen to Raihan’s bright idea of changing the uniforms with Kabu already groaning when he realized what the younger gym leader had said.

***

Piers × Shy Male! Reader (Sfw {mild cursing})

You sat on a wooden crate besides Marnie, your boyfriend's little sister. You two were listening to him sing to a crowd of Team Yell members and other people from different towns.

The silence with Marnie was usual and comfortable.

"Look at my bro go. Always had it in him, singing." She said quietly and leaned slightly towards you so you would hear over the music.

You nodded and smiled a little. Your eyes couldn't come off Piers, you loved watching him sing. You put your knees up to your chin, and rested your arms crossed on them so they would hide your grin and pink cheeks.

"Still not much of a talker?"

"Oh! Uh, yeah- I like talking." You practically whispered. "Sorry, not really-"

"Hey. It's fine. Piers already told me you aren't that out there. I don't mind some silence." Marnie replied with a nicer tone now, since she meant it.

"Thanks." You quietly replied and looked back to the stage before you heard her speak again.

"What do you see in Piers? You can tell me, I'm not the judging type."

"What do I..see in him?"

"Mhm."

You looked to the stage again and watched Piers interact with the crowd. Your grin widened, you almost never see him smile as much as he did on stage unless he was alone with you.

"I see..a sweet guy. He looks all mean and hard but he's really the most gentle guy I know. He has this smile that drives me wild and.." You took your arms away from your face to talk more clear.

"And? Come on, don't be shy." Marnie encouraged and nudged you with her elbow.

"He's real funny. Piers makes me happy when I'm having a really bad day, he's got this thing to him that I can't stop wanting." You could feel your cheeks turning a light shade of red, and you cursed how easy it was for you to blush.

Piers looked towards you and Marnie and winked at you. Some people in the crowd cheered at the action, a few swooned excitedly. You buried your face in your hands and could hear Marnie laugh a little.

"A-Anyways..he doesn't let anything in his past or present get to him. His music..his music! It's so impressive. He's a singing gym leader. The way he manages both..I just-!" You dropped your knees from your face and squealed. "It's Piers!"

Marnie laughed a little at your excitement. "Anything else?"

"He's..SO cute. Gosh, I can't get over it. We've been together for a while and he still makes me all giddy and warm inside when he smiles or- does shit like that!" You spoke about his playful wink, and you stood up on the crate, not even caring about your fear of crowds anymore. "And I love it!"

The crowd was still practically screaming as the song ended. You cupped one of your hands around your mouth, waving the other at Piers frantically.

"Come on Piers! Give us MORE!!" You shouted out while grinning and quickly caught his and some fans' attention. You locked eyes with him, and made a motion to usher him for another song.

He raised his hand to the crowd to quiet them down then spoke. "Alright, hey. Glad you guys are enjoying the show. It was supposed to stop now but, how am I gonna end this when I got my sweetheart over there asking for more?" Piers nodded to you, causing multiple Team Yell members to turn your way, smiling.

You immediately sat back down on the crate next to Marnie and hid your face. "No.." You protested quietly against his teasing. He knew you never liked the acknowledgement, he just liked making you blush.

"So, Team Yell. I want you to be as loud as you can, this next one is for my cutie. Love ya." Piers adjusted the mic as Team Yell began what they did best again: cheering. They turned quickly back to the stage and you peeked up at Piers.

Your eyes' focus never left him, and you listened intently to his voice. A relaxed sigh left you as you felt yourself being caught up in the music. You and Piers continued to make eye contact throughout the rest of the show, as if no one else was there. The moment was like a trance and neither of you were really looking to get out of it.

***

thank you for reading ! requests always open! just might be a slight wait 💕 - 🥝

[grayyxv]

A Comprehensive Analysis of Eustass 'Captain' Kid

I've been wanting to write this for awhile now as Kid is undoubtedly one of my favourite characters in One Piece. Also, I'm majoring in Psychology so I can't help but think about why I love his character so much.

Disclaimer: As we all know, Kid doesn't have much screentime so it's quite difficult to understand his character completely. So, whatever you read will be my own intepretation of his character (based on the little amount of scenes that he has). Of course, you don't have to agree with it but it might give you a bit of a different perspective!

So, withour further ado, let's begin!

*P.s I'll try to make it flow in but it might end up really messy so I apologize for that*

Note: NOT SPOILER FREE!!!

1. Assumptions

I guess I'll begin with some of the common assumptions of his character based on posts/videos I've seen about his character. They frequently refer to Kid as 'cruel' or 'heartless'. Basically, there are many negative remarks about his character that makes him seem like a total psychopath.

Their reasoning for this would be because:

- He mentioned that he would kill anyone would mocked him

- His high bounty = He's notorious & violent

- The way he acts makes him come off as a bloodthirsty pirate

From another standpoint, I can see why people might think that way about him. The way he speaks and acts does make him look villainous. In addition, his primary role in One Piece is to be Luffy's rival. (I'll expand on this point later.) So, one might think that his morals would contrast Luffy. Whereas Luffy is the kind and benevolent pirate, Kid is the 'bad guy' who is cruel and heartless. The question is, though Kid is rival character, why does that necessarily mean that he would be a bad guy? I strongly disagree that Kid is a psychopath and that he is heartless. Firstly, the term 'psychopath' shouldn't be used so loosely. A true psychopath would have no regard for other's feelings which is not true of Kid because he cares very much for his crew. On the other hand, Doflamingo would be a good example of a psychopath. Next, even if Kid WERE a psychopath, not all psychopaths are violent. So it'd be nice if people stopped misrepresenting psychopaths.

Now, if there is one thing I learned in psychology, is that people tend to make assumptions about a person's actions as part of their personal dispositions rather than because of situation. This would be the Fundamental Attribution Error (FAE). What do I mean by this? Let's take a look at Kid's scenario. He mentioned killing people who mocked his dream. Killing people would make people automatically assume that Kid is 'violent'. But here is a different perspective, what if 'mocking him' had meant that they tried to start a fight with him? Provoking other people repeatedly would cause anybody to get angry. There are many other characters who acts this way as well. Sure, Luffy doesn't go as far as to kill them but I'm sure that many other characters do because they are PIRATES.

In contrast, I think of this situation as Kid standing up for himself. He believes in himself and he would beat anyone up who tells him otherwise. If you think about it, Luffy is kind of similar because he ends up fighting anyone who tries to stop him from attaining his goal.

That is pretty much all the assumptions that people make about his character. It's sad how they don't delve deeper but fret not!! I still have more to say.

2. Pre-Timeskip vs Timeskip Changes/Growth as a character

During Pre-timeskip, Kid is seen as overconfident. I actually agree with this statement quite a lot. His high bounty was a result of his reckless behaviour. He could easily triumph over anyone before the timeskip. That was when he started to become a little too full of himself. Consequently, he suffered heavy losses. His arm was taken by Shanks, his crew was utterly defeated by Kaido (curse you Apoo) and his reputation as the top supernova was instantly lost to Luffy. His true character development was in the Wano arc where we see how he starts to take a step back and re-evaluate his situation. The most obvious evidence for this was when he got captured in Udon. He was quiet (before Luffy's arrival) and deep in thought. So many things had happened to him, you could even argue that he was feeling slightly lost and helpless (not depressed) because he was utterly defeated. The motivation and drive he had in pre-timeskip was shattered- Until Luffy arrived of course. When Luffy arrived, he was battered and bruised but he was still ready to fight. Kid, who saw how Luffy still had his fighting spirit, was somehow inspired to keep on fighting. It's almost as if Luffy is Kid's drive to be stronger.

So, what does this all say about Kid?

I think that this makes his character believable as it can represent real life. There are some points in our lives where we could be the greatest but, sometimes, life can be pretty cruel too. If you get too cocky or overconfident, the world will punish you. I saw a comment that says Kid is Luffy but without the plot armour. That is very true. Kid isn't perfect. He made tons of crappy decisions and dealt which the consequences. I'd say he's as reckless as Luffy, perhaps LESS reckless than Luffy but he suffers more than Luffy does. While Luffy could bask in glory, all Kid got was the short end of the stick. I think that is the reason why I find Kid such an appealing character- because its an accurate representation of real life. Sometimes you can try as hard as someone else but you won't always get the spolight.

The other appealing aspect is his persistence. He made mistakes and bad decisions but he knows that he can't undo them and has to move on. Kid isn't as lucky as Luffy because he didn't have someone like Rayleigh to train him so, he had to put in more effort somehow. The main point is, he had to learn everything the hard way. Yet, he still strives to be the best which is very befitting of a rival character.

3. interactions & Personality

Another thing I frequently see when people Kid and Luffy is that: People say that while Kid makes enemies, Luffy makes allies which is why he has so much support from others around him. I was thinking about this a lot and I can't help but disgaree. I saw another post where they mentioned Kid's MBTI personality is INFJ which made me think even more about that statement. From here on, I will include several headcanons about his character as well.

Let me offer you a different perspective. Perhaps Kid isn't good at expressing his feelings. The way he speaks may come off as cold which makes other people dislike him because they think he is rude whereas he simply doesn't know how to communicate with others very well. Luffy is no doubt an extrovert, seeing how he is easily able to interact with others. Kid on the other hand, if he is an introvert, it could be an explaination to why he doesn't have many interactions with others. I don't see him as someone who's very 'sociable'. So he could experience some difficulty when communicating his feelings. He's shown to be closer to his crew more than anyone else. He is deeply respected by his crewmates because he is sensitive to their needs as well. He isn't the tyrant that everyone paints him to be, he earned that respect by first respecting his crewmates. Also, he would essentially DIE for any of his crewmates. This part is quite self explainatory if you've read the chapter where they revealed what happened to Kid and Killer in Wano.

I just want to add that while Killer suffered so much in Wano, imagine how much it hurt Kid to see his first mate suffer and how he couldn't do anything about it. The expression on his face is perfectly the anger he had towards Kaido, Apoo and more importantly, HIMSELF for not being strong enough. Yet, people call him heartless though he would literally die for Killer.

But anyways, Kid is an excellent listener and he cares very deeply for people he is close to. I just think he's bad at communicating. Look at the way he talks to Luffy. In Wano, you can see how Kid actually does LIKE Luffy as a rival. He just has trouble expressing himself. Anyways, this is just a headcanon but I think that he's rather sensitive to other's feelings- Especially when it comes to his crew. I really like the idea that he's an INFJ because he seems more like the 'advocate' type of character. I still think he makes a very good leader but his approach would contrast Luffy's.

4. Intelligence

I could probaly go on forever about why I love Kid but this is another thing that I see about Kid and kind of annoys me. I'm not sure why everyone seems to think he's a dumbass. Like REALLY. I think he's pretty intelligent. He even kept tabs on the whole SMILE situation and Doflamingo and planned the alliance. He IS intelligent but his recklessness just makes him seem like an idiot.

Kid isn't perfect, he is flawed just like a real human being would be. By no means is he a GOOD person but I don't think he is as 'cruel' or 'bad' as people paint him to be. He cares a lot for his crew. He is very driven by his own personal values and he wouldn't 'change' for anyone. He believes in himself and if anyone tells him otherwise, he would simply beat them up. He isn't happy go lucky like Luffy, he is much deeper than that. He would consider his options and plan- to a certain extent because he is also quite idealistic. Hence, the reason why I feel like his character is such an interesting one is because there is a lot of opportunity for him to grow and stray away from stereotypical anime character traits. His character is believable because his personality is realistic, it could reflect a real human being.

TLDR: Stop sleeping on Kid.

With that, thanks for coming to my ted talk.

Anyways, that's it for now! I'll make a part 2 if I feel like I want to add something. If people like this, I'll consider making another analysis for other characters. Currently I have Law, Ace and Sabo planned in mind but we'll see how it goes.

Thanks for reading!

[kirstinmaldonado]

CHAPTER TWELVE 2.0

I started the last two chapters, happy to have something of substance to talk about, me being at home, improvements I was seeing, maybe even some rightful disappointment at some people’s lack of care in their actions…but like clockwork the beginning of the week brought in new developments and my mind drifted focus. My fingers lost the spark to write about feel-good situations when the chaos in the world seemed to extinguish the flame.

I was in Texas just two weeks ago but it honestly feels like forever, as if time is confused on what pace its on. The USA seems to be confused as well.

Theme parks across the nation are opening up. Some flights are back to full capacity. The world seems caught on a pendulum of thought: “Are we good enough to pretend and pass like we can go back to normal?”

Meanwhile, people are still getting sick. People are still dying. Protests are still happening, although it apparently doesn’t serve the media to still be airing that. Justice has still not been served for those we’ve lost: Breonna Taylor, Vanessa Guillen, Elijah McClain, and so many more. The media and internet is ablaze with people ridiculing, attacking, or making fun of each other, on top of everything going on.

I wonder if I’m a part of that sometimes. While I still think protesting for “bar lives” is unfathomable and tone deaf, while it was so easy to ridicule because it was so insanely insensitive to compare to the BLM movement, did I help to further a narrative full of spite? Did I egg on anger and divisiveness, did I unintentionally help create arguments online? Did I give a platform that I don’t agree with more attention by calling attention to it?

I’m all for the hard but important conversations. I love them, to be honest. My family and I had many thought-provoking conversations when I was home, about what they’ve experienced with racism, about our opinions on all sides. It was wonderful to expand our ways of thinking using past and present! I think we all walked away with more rounded backing to our opinions, me included, and I’m thankful to have a family that can be so open and willing to discuss.

Yet, those conversations can’t be condensed into however many characters can fit in to a tweet. The art of negotiating is not all about winning, it’s also about empathizing. It’s about explaining and getting the opponent to understand your side and school of thinking; if you just tear them apart for their lack of understanding or different opinion, how can they ever fully understand or want to, especially if you are the one trying to teach them something not in their wheelhouse?

Racism, of course, is non-negotiable.

Everything else, and it’s a lot, that we have encountered in the last few weeks (mainly dealing with COVID) feels like it’s cumulatively driven us to a breaking point, to a point where I don’t really feel like I live in the “United” States of America. I feel like we are now all pitted against each other, immediate to defend our point, and jumping to 10 because honestly we are tired of the bullshit.

I get it. I do. But in the last few days while I’ve watched coronavirus cases develop, “Karens” making a fool of themselves in public places and endangering people’s lives with their sense of entitlement, while watching Hamilton for the first time and seeing good and bad critiques, Kanye running for president, while I’ve cried over Vanessa and what happened to her only to have someone try to belittle my reaction compared to others we’ve lost, I realized something.

Chaos. All chaos.

How can we make real change when we are all just screaming? How can we move mountains when we are pushing from two opposing sides? And while we have made progress, will we have the sensibility to keep with it or will our boiling frustrations overrule and distract us from our end goal, lasting and transformative change for the betterment of BIPOCs and everyone?

I’m not hating on our progress. And I’m not vilifying people’s reactions to things not in your school of thought, albeit insanely frustrating things. I’ve been there and am there. The amount of Facebook posts I’ve written novels for, the shock I feel on a daily basis for some people, is all still there. Yet, my sadness for this world and how to heal it has crept in and bated me.

What can “I” do to make a difference?

Hating and bashing things is our new normal, our humor has become intertwined with it so much that we ridicule and make jokes out of everything. Click-bait headlines only stoke the flames. Coronavirus is still surging every day, and you know what, some people can’t pretend to go back to “normal” amongst it all.

The entertainment business, for example, won’t be back up and running for… who knows? I wouldn’t be surprised if Broadway was closed for longer than a year. We rescheduled our tour in hopes that we would be able to go, but with the way things are looking I can’t help but feel distressed about the outlook for the entertainment industry/shows all around. So many people’s “normal” won’t come back at all until we get a headway on this virus, and it’s gonna take us all coming together for that to work as well. We have to truly be THE UNITED states of america.

As a side-note, Pentatonix has never been this stationary since we started…and that’s bittersweet too. Never take anything for granted, guys.

So while I dissolved into a puddle over Vanessa and how I don’t even know how to help mediate the world anymore, with people at each others throats literally and figuratively all the time, with good people and bad people on every side, I returned to a very old school of thought for myself. 

Be kind. 

What can “I” do every day? 

Yes, use my platform as a strong voice of advocacy, try to filter through everything to make sure I’m posting facts and not scare-mongering or leading anyone astray from what they should be seeing.

I’ve protested. Signed petitions. Written emails. I tried to raise awareness and bring everyone along with me on my journey as I learned, which I thought was helpful.

But I forgot about the most important thing, the thing that’s been ingrained in my head since I was a child for better for worse, the one thing that even though practiced vehemently, never always comes back guaranteed.

Be kind.

I lost that somewhere along the way, a bit. I could feel my soul hardening at how cruel some people can be, I felt how easy it was to smite and bash people’s names who have done far worse. I felt my eyes cloud with hate.

For a long time I thought the battle was human vs earth and I was always so sad to see how easily we destroyed such a precious gift. 

Now I know at its core that the real problem is human vs human: how to one up each other, how to be more successful, how to win, how to be MORE all the time. That feeling has been slowly poisoning us and our empathy and compassion towards others. That feeling is not about bettering oneself, it’s about greed and it spreads like cancer. 

For a long time, I didn’t want to “be kind” like a Disney princess anymore. I was tired of trying to use kindness as a shield as if people’s actions did not hurt me. I was mad at my kindness for blinding me and letting me get hurt. I thought the phrase “kill them with kindness” was stupid, because I was the one that kept getting hurt.

But my kindness did not do that to me. I did not do that to me.

People did. Hurt people. Confused people. People that had problems within themselves that were in no way a reflection of me. People with opposing views. Those people are not my fault. Those people don’t get to have their anger bleed in to my life, they don’t get to poison my disposition with their greed and animosity.

What can I do?

Every day, I can make a point to not be divisive. To not so easily make fun of things, belittle, call names, etc.

I can tone down my “complaining” online. I can not get so upset and rush to attack people that would be hard to get my point across to anyway online, so I don’t work myself up for hours about one internet troll when I could be doing other more important things. Why lose sanity over someone only wanting to argue? Why revert to the name bashing, why invite more stress and anger in to my life, even though there’s enough anyway with what’s going on in the world?

As I uncovered more history, had more awakenings and understandings, and dealt with my own personal stresses, I felt my strength oscillating and now I know why. I was so hardened with hate and disbelief, I felt like a fool living in a world that said it was something else. And...I left my best ally behind in my own rush for MORE.

Kindness. 

Empathy. Understanding. Patience.

So for July, I’ve decided to take care of myself a little more. Take care of others. Make sure that I am not contributing to anyone’s pain, and only being an ally to amplify voices that need to be heard. 

There’s a kinder way to say everything. There’s a kinder way to live. Amongst all this chaos, maybe if we were all a bit kinder, we could ease the waves of tension and calm the storm. Maybe if we could see past ourselves, we could make a lasting change for us all.

I changed my bio the other day. We must be like the sunflowers, pulling toxicity from the ground and air. Nature’s helper. I said I would be like that.

They don’t contribute anything negative, they just stand tall and strong, a mediating force in a world that needs purifying. 

So, I will armor myself with my strength, knowledge, and kindness. 

And see about tomorrow. 

[dcattacksquad]

Wanna fight?

Pairing: Jiu/Sua

words: 1675

Warning: alcohol, some swearing

Bora was glad that she was able to convince Minji, her girlfriend, to come with her and the others to the club. Without her she would also have fun, but it wouldn't be the same. They both were on the dancefloor, already dancin for what felt like hours. Bora could feel the music in her whole body, thrumming through every nerve. She had missed coming here, forgetting about the stress of everyday life. Minji's body so close to her, occasionally grinding against hers. To see what she could do without Minji stopping her, she let her hands wander a bit. In case she got scolded she would just blame the alcohol. She hadn't drank too much so it would really affect her, but enough to feel it. 

Bora was admiring her girlfriend. Her low cut top and the shorts were fitting her perfectly, hugging her curves and invoked to need to touch her even more. When Bora's hand reached the sliver of skin between top and shorts, that wasn't covered by the fabric, she suddenly got yanked forward. She was pressed against her girlfriend, Minji's hands on her butt. Normally Minji was the one to hold back, at least in public (when they were alone Minji's behaviour turned completely around), so Bora was surprised by that. A shiver ran down her spine when she felt Minji's breath against her ear, her hands giving her butt a squeeze “I`m gonna get us drinks. You go and join the others.” and with that Minji was lost in the crowd, leaving Bora alone. The tone she used did not leave room to disobey and Bora knew better than to defy Minji. 

When she arrived at the table she was greeted by their chaotic behavior. “Come on Gahyeon. You can do it. Drink! Drink!” Siyeon and Yoohyeon were trying to get the youngest to drink a bottle of beer in one go. Which was not the best idea, their youngest was a lightweight. While Bora was not really surprised by the antics of the troublemakers, it surprised her that neither Handong nor Yubin were stopping them. They were the voices of reason (and fun stoppers) in their little group. Bora almost laughed when she looked at Dami. She was holding onto her glass filled with some unknown alcohol as if her life depended on it and seemed like she was already past her limit for the day. Then she glanced at Handong, silently asking her why she was not saying anything to stop them. As an answer she got a shoulder shrug from the other and an expression that just said ‘I don’t give a fuck anymore’. Apparently she had already stopped something stupid today. Focusing her attention back on the troublemakers, Bora saw Gahyeon looking questioningly at her. So she raised an eyebrow, to provoke her a bit “What are you looking at me kiddo? You are not a baby anymore, you can drink it.” Gahyeon was not one to back down from that, always trying to prove herself to the older, she brought the bottle up to her lips. When she started to drink, Siyeon and Yoohyeon started to cheer for her. First it looked good for her, but after around half of the bottle she started to cough and had to stop drinking. Her cheerleaders  looked disappointed at that “Aw man. I really thought you could do it” Siyeon pouted at her. Bora gave Gahyeon a pat on the back and sat down beside her. “Are you okay?” she asked her “you don’t look so good right now.” Gahyeon took a deep breath “I think I’m gon- No, no I’m good. I’m good.” deciding  not to say anything to that, Bora just looked at her with doubt filled eyes. After that they talked and joked for a bit, until Bora started to wonder where Minji was. It should not have taken her this long to get their drinks. So she looked to the bar and was glad that she could spot her girlfriend pretty fast. The red hair made her stand up out of the crowd. Which was also the reason why some random guy was hitting on Minji, HER girlfriend. Big emphasis on HER. Bora would never admit that she was possessive or jealous, she just thought that no one was allowed to flirt with what was hers. With fire in the eyes she excused herself from her friends, which got her a few confused looks, and started to march over to the bar. Her eyes never left Minji and that….guy. She knew that Minji would never flirt with someone, but she was too nice to just turn someone straight down, more trying to ease them into it so they won’t feel too bad. When she arrived there, a murderous glint in her eyes, she tried to hold herself back. Minji and her had some talks in the past to not go off on people, it was mostly Minji talking and Bora listening and nodding to everything Minji told her, but still. Her body was turned towards the guy, her face turned to Minji “Hey, you meet a friend or…?” The guy chuckled, stopping Minji from answering “No, I’m not her friend. Not yet. Just getting to know that hottie here. So why don’t you leave us alone again. Or if you want I could get to know the both of you. If you know what I mean.” Bora knew exactly what he was talking about and she could feel the anger rising in her. “Babe…” she turned away from Minji, standing as tall as she could “can i punch him for you?”. Minji then took one of her hands in hers, silently asking her to keep calm. Boras opponent was at least a head taller than her, he was now eyeing her up and down before he started to laugh at her. “You… want to… to punch me?” he brought out between his laughter “you are a fucking dwarf”. Okay, Bora really tried to keep calm, really she did and someone should give her an award for that. But calling her a dwarf? Hell no. So she freed herself from Minji's grasp and was now right in front of the guy, a finger stabbing in his chest. Her other hand was balled to a fist, she spat at him “A dwarf?! You wanna fight, you fucker!!? I promise you, you will not suffer long..”

Back at their table Siyeon had seen what was happening and brought the attention of the others to it. Nursing a glass of wine in her hand, Handong had an amused expression on her face “Do you ever wonder how there can be so much rage in such a small body?” Yoohyeon had to laugh at this, until she got a kick at the shin from Gahyeon. Since her and Bora were the same height, she did not really like this talk about shorter people. Rubbing her shin, she pointed at Bora at the bar. Bora was repeatedly stabbing her finger at the guy’s chest, it looked kinda painful, judging from the look on his face. It seemed as if he had not suspected such a violent reaction and now he did not really know how to react. Attacking her or running away from the scene where both ways to lose his face. Siyeon looked a bit worried “Should we go there and back her up?” She hated confrontations, but she would always stay by her friends. Yubin then glanced up from her drink, the death grip still on the glass “Nah, she looks fine” and with that her eyes were again glued to her drink. 

Minji was a bit torn. Seeing Bora this angry, rage in her eyes and body tense, was hot. She would never say that to Bora, the latter would then just use it as an excuse to rage at everyone who dared to flirt with Minji. On the other hand, she did not want this to escalate further and get thrown out. So she made a decision. Before anyone could react, she had grabbed her little ball of pure rage with one quick movement and thrown her over her shoulder. That did not stop Bora from insulting the guy. Minji then turned in the direction of the exit and started her way out of the club, she ignored Bora who was now screaming at her to let her down and the small fists hitting on her back. When they were almost at the door, Bora stopped hitting Minj’s back, pointing her finger at the crowd “To the next one to try to hit on my girlfriend: I’ll end you!” and with that they were out the door. Minji let out the breath she was holding, when they were outside and the cold air hit her face. She hoped that it would help to cool her girlfriend down, literally.

The moment Minji threw Bora over her shoulder the others knew that it was time to go. Handong told Yoohyeon to get the things of Minji and Bora, while she herself, freed the drink from Yubin’s hands. With a shrug of her shoulders, she first downed the rest of Yubin’s drink and then her own wine, which got her a look from Gahyeon between admiration and disgust. When they finally were ready to follow the two, they had to hurry. Yoohyeon mumbled something about not angering Minji too much. “...only you okay? Forever.” they only heard the rest of Minji’s little speech to calm Bora down. She had her arms tight around the smaller one, Bora’s face pressed into her neck. When Minji saw the others she gave them a small smile. “Okay now that everyone is here, let’s go home. We have to burn some excessive energy…” her wink at the end told them enough, the fake gag sounds from them making her laugh. With that she ended the hug with Bora, took one of her hands in hers and started their walk home...

[oikawas-bae]

See You Never pt.2

Pairing: Oikawa x Reader ( BROTP of Iwa/Oik/reader bc I live for that 😚)

Word Count: 1669

A/N: this is very long ahah, kinda got out of hand but I had fun ahah!

“WOah!! SO COOL! Even better than Kageyama?” Shoyo gaped at the possibility of someone even more skilled than his meticulous teammate.

“And he’s a playboy!” Tanaka chimed in angrily, punching the air.

“So this guy is dangerous enough to scare his majesty, huh?” Tsukki snickered to which Kageyama glared at him. As you were about to go full on mom-mode with Sugawara on them, you caught sight of the figure finally approaching the net, free from his teammates’ horde of complaints. He was practically glowing, bouncing on the balls of his feet, another figure beside him with an expression that was absolutely done.

A beast

Star of the Show.

Grand King

Playboy

Dangerous

“Oikawa Toru.” You said just below a whisper but Yamaguchi read your lips as he was the only one not in distress or teasing Kageyama.

“You know him, (y/n)?”

You winced out of your daze when you heard Yamaguchi’s acknowledgment of your discreet recognition of the man chatting it up with the boys around him. The whole team turned to you. You blushed at the overwhelming attention.

“What? Did he break your heart? If so, I’ll break him!” You ducked behind Asahi before kicking Tanaka for bringing attention to the group by screaming.

“Shut the hell up, Tanaka.”

“Why are you hiding, (y/n)?” Nishinoya perked his head to the side and you couldn’t help but blush at his cuteness.

“He didn’t break my heart...I mean technically he did but not before I broke his but I mean he probably didn’t care. Iwa was mostly affected but I mean, look at them now, they’re looking just fine and honestly Toru is looking very...nice. He’s matured fully almost, it seems...wow I actually haven’t seen him in a while and omygod I miss him sooo much, I-” Daichi deadpanned at you rambling and kicked your calf lightly to snap you out of it. The boys were all staring at you in awe.

Realizing you had given them no context to the situation, you explained from behind Asahi. “OH yeah! I knew him in middle school too, like Kageyama...I musta not seen you around, huh? Well Iwaizumi, the one next to our Grand King, and the Grand King himself and I were close back in the day since birth practically but we separated when we went to high school.”

“Hey, losers! Ready to be crushed?” Oikawa raised his voice just when you finished. Asahi moved to turn and you were exposed...like a deer in the headlights and you just knew that the two- Iwa and OIkawa- had noticed you and to make matters worse, recognized you. You blushed deeply, hiding yourself once again behind Asahi to be out of sight.

“UH… this is really awkward for me so if you don’t mind...imma head out.” You pointed your thumb outside and quickly dashed out before even receiving a nod from the team.

The game proceeded as it was going to with or without you but you watched from the window, making sure To not be seen by anyone, not even your own team for fear of them reacting. You forgot what a thrill it was to watch Oikawa play, his serves had gotten even more theatrical, OLÉ! And then he swatted the ball in the air, majestic… You melted into the wall with a reminiscent and lovestruck smile, you had missed him so much that even just watching him get slapped by Iwa was enough to send your stomach into a fluttering whirl. The game had turned around since his entrance and not to Karasuno’s advantage. The game seemed to be over as soon as OIkawa stepped in front of Kageyama and brought him to a standstill.

The Karasuno boys walked way in defeat, you knew they wouldn’t let a loss get to them, they were relentless but you wanted to comfort them either way but this damn nervousness. You cursed at the thought of running into Oikawa and Iwa and striking up a conversation and about what? You imagined it…

“Good game huh?” no scratch that, maybe I could say “Long time, no see!” O shit that’s literally awful you would drive them away...again.

Before you could embarrass yourself further by reenacting any other simulations where you encountered the two or even just one of them, Oikawa spoke up from behind you, leaning against the door frame of the gym entrance. “What are you doing, (y/n)?”

You jumped so high Hinata would be proud and felt you heart leap out of your chest. You slowly turned around to see a taller-than-you-remembered Oikawa crossing his arms and smirking.

“H-How long have you been standing there?”

“Long enough to see you’re still the same (y/n) I knew.” He walked forward, examining you.

Slightly uncomfortable from the entirety of the situation, You gave him a sideways glace and mumbled, “I would appreciate it if you didn’t stare.”

To your surprise, he chuckled, “What do you take me for? A pervert? No, (y/n)~ I just haven’t seen you in so long and you’re looking just fine.”

Damn it, he still has a way with words. In truth, his way of speaking was different, he talked much smoother than before, almost as if he had trained himself in more than just volleyball.

“I take you for a dangerous playboy King.”

He crooked his head, maintaining his sly smirk. “Huh?”

“Your reviews aren’t very good you know? “Everyone knows about your reputation.”

“I’m still a full five stars, (y/n).” He chucked, closing the space between you gradually as if you wouldn’t notice. His smile was almost snake-like, you assumed underneath it he wanted to tease you to no end about what you’ve missed out on by going to Karasuno and not Seijoh and in truth, he did want that but not exactly right now. At this moment, he wanted to talk to you, whether it be in the broken riddles you were speaking in now or just as casually as you had in the past. He missed you so much his heart lurched out of his chest as yours did but he was so much better at not showing it.

Bravely, you took a long step forward and the two of you were practically nose-to nose; his smirk a polar opposite of your anxious stare. “Damn it...I can hardly look at you.” You admitted.

He confidently pressed his forehead against yours. For a second, you dreaded anybody exiting the gym and seeing you like this but his words kept you from straying too far from your fixation on him. “I don’t know why you’re so jittery right now. I’m feeling right at home.” When was he going to stop playing this confusing game? Was he trying to enchant you? Provoke you? Either way, you didn’t have a clue how to respond and at this point, you were just saying random stuff.

“Your house is next to mine.” He arched a brow at the blatant fact you spouted.

“Yes, that’s true. And yet you haven’t visited. It’s because it’s awkward, isn’t it? You’re not with Iwa and me and you might even have a boyfriend of your own at Karasuno...tell me, is it Tobio? Or maybe the shorty...No, you like em’ feisty, what was his name? Tsukki?”

You pushed him back with your forehead, “It’s Tsukishima to you. And no.” However nerve wracking it was to snap back at Oikawa right now, it didn’t matter. You had your boys’ backs, even if it was a jerk like Tsukki.

“Really?” He pulled himself back in surprise, “You’re not dating anyone?”

You shook your head, “It’s a surprise huh...” You trailed off awkwardly.

“I mean yeah...look at you...” He stopped talking to shake his blush off, “I mean that- ugh...okay. I had a crush on you in middle school and since forever and seeing you again...it feels amazing.”

Iwaizumi poked his head out, catching the two of you in conversation. He crossed his arms at the sight of you.

“And you’re still mad…” You rubbed your arm shyly. “Iwa…”

“Hey! We were having a moment!” Oikawa smacked him and Iwa threatened to punch him before you intercepted...a familiar position the three of you had been in years ago. You looked at both of them before looking down, a small smile tugging at your lips.

“I guess you guys still act like immature little boys with each other…”They both calmed down as you continued. “I-I’m sorry for abandoning you guys. I could have fought harder to go to Aoba Josai...but I just didn’t want to be a hindrance to your volleyball careers...high school is your chance to go to the big leagues and I didn’t want to ruin that... the selfish part of me couldn’t stand the thought of you guys ignoring me either...but now...I don’t regret going to Karasuno. Those boys in there are my best friends! I joined the team as their manager because I wanted to help them and I’ve improved my own volleyball skills so I’m not...useless. That being said, I can be friends with you guys again...if you feel the same.”

Iwaizumi hugged you without another word said. Oikawa smiled and joined in on the hug.

“You were never a hindrance. You wouldn’t have been.” Iwa pulled away, making direct eye contact with you.

“And we’ll be glad to hang out again. We’ve missed you sooooo much!” Oikawa smiled widely.

Iwa scoffed, back to his usual self, “Yeah, this fool hasn’t stopped practicing his love confession to you since you left. They’re getting better though at least.”

“Shut it, IWA!”

“How about we do movie night with us and Shittykawa? Tonight?” Iwa offered. You lit up, eyes watery and pulling him into another hug, to which Oikawa jealously pouted behind you.

“New nickname huh? I like it.” Oikawa gaped at your positive response at his friend’s vulgarity.

“(Y/n)!”

[redscharlach]

Then quite unexpectedly, some Dracula meta appeared

While rewatching Dracula (again, ahem), I had a few thoughts about how the ending of episode 3 is foreshadowed by ideas from episode 1, and thought I’d cobble them into a semi-coherent post in case anyone was interested. So below the cut, you’ll find a brief bit of Dracula meta about sunlight, symbolism and sex.

(By the way, I mention a couple of things from the BBC’s Obsessed With Dracula podcast, which is a fascinating listen if you want to hear Messrs Gatiss and Moffat talk more about the ideas and imagery behind the series.)

Anyway, here’s a relevant quote from episode 1, then those who wish to dive further may do so:

“The castle was a monument to the architect’s lost love and the sunlight to which he would never return. And what else is sunlight but the face of one’s beloved?” – Jonathan Harker, The Rules of the Beast

Ol’ Johnny Blue-Eyes means this metaphorically, but, in episode 1, we hear Dracula talk about the sun as if it’s literally his long-lost love (“I haven’t seen her in hundreds of years. Describe her to me.”). At the start of episode 3, he’s even moved to tears by seeing “her” on TV. We’re shown throughout that sunlight is a source of fear to him, but the sun itself is described using the imagery of romantic longing. “She” is his unattainable beloved, whose touch would mean death to him (or so he thinks).

Now, in Obsessed With Dracula part 3, Moffat and Gatiss talk a bit about the idea of merging or conflating two or more characters. It’s an idea that previous Dracula adaptations have often used, and they openly borrow it: for instance, this show’s version of Jonathan Harker is a conflation of the novel’s Harker with Renfield (even though Renfield appears as a separate character later). But they also use symbolic merging of characters within their own story, most obviously with Agatha and Zoe. In real life, a great niece can’t turn into her great-aunt, even if they look alike, but fiction makes the merging possible, so the same actress can play both roles and both can play the same dramatic role in the story.

Is the woman in the last few scenes of episode 3 Zoe or Agatha? Symbolically, she’s both, connected by family blood and melded via Dracula’s. And Dracula, who was already merging them in his own mind, spots that the merging has begun to actually occur when he spots Agatha’s accent coming out of Zoe’s mouth.

But just as the show conflates Zoe and Agatha, Dracula also conflates Agatha/Zoe with the third unattainable “lady friend” in his life, the sun. The show echoes this idea visually as well, most blatantly in the bloodletting scene, as you can see here.

Yes, two minutes after Zoe has threatened to break Dracula with a sunbeam, she’s shown positively glowing with sunlight. Meanwhile, he stares at her from the shadows with rapt attention, rather in the same way he stared the sun at the TV earlier.

In the same scene, we find out that because Zoe has cancer, her blood would kill him. So it turns out she’s like his beloved sun in two ways: 1) so bright and fascinating that he can’t help but gaze in rapture, and 2) potentially deadly.

The association reaches its peak when the merged Zoe/Agatha exposes him to real sunlight at the end. She basically IS the sun to him, now.

It’s also at this point that Dracula becomes aware that Zoe/Agatha is in pain (it’s Zoe’s cancer, but it’s Agatha’s voice speaking), and thus she acquires another similarity with the sun: 3) something that can provoke Dracula into feeling a genuine goddamn human emotion for once in his 500-year-of-not-really-giving-a-shit-about-anything-much undeath. It’s not OMG TRUE LOVE, but it’s a pulse of compassion from a heart that everyone (including its owner) naturally assumed was long dead, and that makes it real and important. When he drinks her blood at the end, he’s NOT thinking “okay, I might as well just die now and this will kill me, goodbye world” – he’s acting solely on the instinct to take away her pain. And yes, doing so will probably be the death of him too, but he does it in spite of, not because of, that. For once, he’s actually thinking about someone other than himself. It’s not redemption, but it’s a baby step in that direction. And that’s more than he ever realized he could make.

And now, a minor digression into art history:

This is William Blake’s The Great Red Dragon and the Woman Clothed with the Sun (a painting that will be familiar to Hannibal fans, of course). The imagery is taken from the Book of Revelations: the Dragon is the Devil, while the woman is usually associated with the Virgin Mary. The fact that the name “Dracula” comes from the word “dragon” is mentioned in episode 2, and he’s directly referred to as the Devil several times. Meanwhile, if we’re looking for a virginal female figure, a nun would seem to fit the bill pretty well. As for the “clothed with the sun” part, please step into this dream sequence.

In their climactic (pun intended) dream scene, Dracula is on top and Zoe/Agatha is on the bottom, merging with the sun’s surface. And when the camera pulls back, we see that she’s covered by artfully placed modesty bedsheets, so it looks like she’s literally “clothed with the sun”.

In a weird symbolic sense, then, Dracula is finally united in bliss with his long lost love: the sun. And by “united in bliss”, yeah, he is symbolically shagging the sun (now there’s a phrase I never knew I’d ever type). But it’s also an embrace of human life and feeling, of three things vampires aren’t supposed to have access to: sunlight, sex and emotional connection. If what he was doing before was living forever in shame, then now he is choosing to die in a blaze of humanity. Which is, to me at least, what makes those scenes extraordinarily touching.

TL;DR version: Maybe all I’m trying to say is that, in a highly metaphorical sense, “the grumpy one is soft for the sunshine one.” Ah well, it’s a classic for a reason.

[earthtoerica]

The Mighty Nein: Enneagram

So this is a post I didn’t think I would be making, but because I am a big fan of Sleeping At Last’s songs centered around the Enneagram Test, and I love Critical Role, I thought why not combine the two and see which member of the Mighty Nein resonates the most with each song. ( And if you haven’t listened to Sleeping at Last before you absolutely should because their music is so calming and thought-provoking!)

Has this been done before? Perhaps, but I haven’t seen it and thought I’d try my take on it. Here goes nothing!

The List:

One- Beau

Two- Nott

Three- Fjord

Four- Caleb

Five- NPCs + Guest’s Characters

Six- Caduceus

Seven- Jester

Eight- Yasha

Nine- Molly

And here’s why:

One - Beau: “hold on for a minute because I believe that we can fix this over time” “The list goes on forever, with the ways I could be better in my mind” “As if I could earn God’s favor over time, or at least congratulations.”

 In times of desperation, Beau will often if not always step up to steer the M9 in the right direction. Though she may push down her emotions to make sure the group can keep going, she appears to have the mindset that anything can be fixed given enough time, or at least changed for the better. That being said, she has stated herself that she thinks she is an asshole, someone who could always improve for the better given the bad things she has done in the past and the fact that she considers herself to be a screw up. But in reality, she is one of the most selfless members of the Mighty Nein, risking life and limb to keep the people she loves safe. 

I also think this song relates to Beau the most because she is often questioning her purpose and why she is unworthy of divine support or special abilities. She wonders why she is the only one without powers, striving to earn the favor of the gods, but unsure of what that really means. I hope that over time Beau will come to realize her strength and abilities as a monk and her loyalty and love as a person are what make her special, and that she is as worthy of divine support as anyone else.

Two - Nott: “You know I’ll take my heart clean apart if it helps yours beat” “I know exactly how the rule goes, put my mask on first. No I don’t want to talk about myself tell me where it hurts” “I just want to build you up, build you up, till you’re good as new, and maybe one day I will get around, to fixing myself too.”

When I first thought about making a post like this, I knew immediately that to me Nott resonated completely with the song Two. Choosing to put herself in the line of fire for her loved ones no matter what that might mean for her safety, because as long as the others are safe that is all the matters to her. I mean, literally the line about putting on a mask made me think of Nott automatically, whether it be her doll’s mask or a metaphorical one, to keep others out and her own feelings in. Before we knew about Nott’s backstory she would always deflect away from talking about herself to make sure the people around her were okay. 

And that is what I think is a major part of Nott’s character and something that makes me resonate her so easily with this song. That Nott is unwilling to address her own problems and emotions because they are too confusing, conflicting and stressful, so she would rather check in with the other members of the Mighty Nein, to help fix their problems and help them to achieve their goals like she has promised to do for Caleb, believing that maybe one day down the line after helping the others she may finally conquer her own problems as well.

Three - Fjord: “Maybe I’ve done enough, finally catching up, for the first time I see an image of my brokenness utterly worthy of love” “I finally see myself, unabridged and overwhelmed, a mess of a story I’m ashamed to tell, but I’m slowly learning how to break this spell” “I only want what’s real, I set aside the highlight reel, and leave my greatest failures on display with an asterisk, worthy of love anyway.”

Fjord is such an interesting character to me, and someone that I really hope can come to accept himself for who he is, and understand that the rest of the Mighty Nein love and respect him, his role in the group cemented. After recent events in these past few episodes, Fjord is on his way to knowing that the M9 truly care about him, willing to risk their lives to come back for him just like they did with the Iron Shepherds. Fjord is starting to realize that he is important to these people, and that they care about him just as much as he cares about them, something he has never experienced before. For the first time in his life, Fjord is experiencing what it is like to have a family, people that want to help you succeed and accept you despite your failures.

 Though he struggles with sharing the parts of his past he is ashamed of, Fjord has even stated to Caleb that given time, he will share these things he dislikes about himself, allowing support and forgiveness in. He is on his way to understanding that no matter his shortcomings, what his patron may say or do, the Mighty Nein care about him and would never consider him useless, for he means to much to them, something he may one day come to recognize and use as a source of strength, Go Fjord!

Four - Caleb: “Bodies fashioned out of dirt and dust for a moment we get to be glorious” “Maybe I’m hiding behind metaphor, maybe my heart needs to break to be sure, one day I’ll wear it all on my sleeve, the insignificant with the sacred unique” “What if we already are, who we’ve been dying to become, in certain light I can plainly see, a reflection of magnificence hidden in you, maybe even in me.”

Caleb is such a hard character to determine where his character arc is going to go. All I can speak on is where he appears to be now. I think this song is reflective of Caleb for several reasons. He himself was fashioned out of dirt and dust, chosen to come from a small town to the Soltryce Academy to be a wizard because he had special magic abilities. Though that experience was harrowing and lead him to tragedy, in that time he came to recognize that he was remarkable and considered special at a young age for everything he could do. But after the events of his past that he would give anything to change, he has closed himself off to others, only recently opening up due to necessity and the desire to help Nott. 

Perhaps he will someday be completely open with all members of the Mighty Nein, discussing anything and everything about himself and what he wants to further achieve his goals. Even Beau has commented on his ability to ask for help after he started opening up, questioning him on how it could be so easy and he said it just is. He has recognized how easy it can be to rely on others but worries that in doing so he is putting the ones he cares about in danger and straying farther away from what he truly wants. And that has been stated to be one of Caleb’s biggest fears, that as he and the M9 grow as people, doing good for the people around them as much as possible and trying to leave places better than they found them, that he might one day feel like he can’t do what he has been working so hard to achieve because he cares about these people too much. That he might come to see himself in a better light as someone that can move forward and let go of the past, something he currently could never do. We will definitely see what will happen to dear Caleb Widowgast, but I’m excited to find out!

Five - NPCs + Guest Characters: “It feels like an out of body experience, but something gets lost from a safe distance and now I can’t put my mind to rest and I can’t help but second guess” “I’m hypnotized by this anomaly, such strange uncharted territory” “My armor falls apart, as if I could let myself be seen, even deeply known, like I was already brave enough to let go.”

It was really difficult for me to determine who related the most heavily to Five. And after a lot of thought and consideration I realized that even though in total there are and always will be eight members of the Mighty Nein, the ninth member is made up of everyone that has not only helped the M9 throughout their journeys, but also everyone that the Mighty Nein has helped as well. Thus I related Five to the many NPCs Matt has created and the wonderful guest characters like Keg, Nila, Shakaste, Twiggy, Calianna, and even Spurt. Meeting the Mighty Nein and dealing with their crazy antics and ideas can be an almost out of body experience, trying to fit oneself into their exhilarating lifestyle might seem almost impossible. Their vibrant and excitable atmosphere would make anyone question how qualified the M9 are for any job, but their determined attitude and desire to do good for others would draw anyone in to help or seek help from them as well. 

The line about letting oneself be seen in this song I think relates heavily to these characters because they are created to be interacted with, to learn something from them, or to be of aid to the M9 in their travels. But when the Mighty Nein take that extra step to learn more about a shopkeeper, to assist someone in need on the street, or to gain the assistance of a fellow traveler to achieve their goals, they are taking the time to learn about a stranger, to understand them on a personal level, treating them as if they already are a part of the M9 in many cases, which is something I love about this rag tag group of adventurers. And something that any NPC would love to, as long as the M9 aren't too nosy. 

Six - Caduceus: “What would it feel like to put this baggage down, if I’m being honest I’m not sure I know how” “I want to believe, no I choose to believe, that I was made to become a sanctuary. Fear won’t go away, but I can keep it at bay” “Is that courage or faith to show up everyday, trust that there will be light always waiting behind even the darkest of nights, and no matter what somehow we’ll be okay.” 

The fact that we know next to nothing about Caduceus destroys me a bit more each day until we do, but he is such a wonderful character and so important to maintaining hope in the Mighty Nein, but also keeping their sanity. I don’t think it’s that Caduceus is unwilling to share his past with the Mighty Nein, I believe it’s primarily because no one ever really asks him about himself, and he doesn’t have experience in people choosing to ask him how he is instead of the other way around. It had been said that Caduceus would tell people almost anything if they simply asked, but most people are more focused on their own problems than the problems of others. Caduceus is someone who works to keep the peace, to drive people towards their destinies and to prove that hope and purpose can be found even in the darkest of moments. 

He is a sanctuary for the members of the Mighty Nein, someone they can turn to who will speak without judgement, providing honest advice and ideas about what might be the next step to furthering one’s path, while continually promising that all things and people have purpose. At first Caduceus was hesitant to continue traveling with the Mighty Nein, as their choices and actions did not align well with Caduceus’ goals to save his home. But over time, and with continued faith in the Wildmother showing him his path, Caduceus is willing to get up everyday and support the people he cares about, pushing himself further and further towards his goals no matter the obstacle.

Seven - Jester: “How wonderful, to see a smile on your face, it costs farewell tears for a welcome-home parade. A secret handshake and my one life, I find a silver lining no matter what the price” “Let me tell you another secret of the trade, it feels like sinking when I’m standing in one place” “I want to be here, truly be here, to watch the ones that I love bloom, and I want to make room to love them through and through and through and through the slow and barren seasons too. I feel hope, deep in my bones, that tomorrow will be beautiful.”

In my eyes, Jester is one of the strongest members of the Mighty Nein. Whether you think of it as strong as in strength, emotionally, or what have you, she always sees the best in people, constantly working to make the people she loves and anyone she can smile and feel better no matter how much she may be hurting inside. And though it hurt her to have to leave her mother in Nicodranas to go see the world, she knows that in doing so she can always return, to receive a hug, to tell stories, and to show love to her mother and be loved in return. However, despite the circumstances that led to Jester having to leave her home and travel, it was inevitably time for her to face the world. She had spent so much of her life stuck up in her bedroom to not have the opportunity to experience anything and everything possible. 

That is why I relate the line “it feels like sinking when I’m standing in one place” to Jester because she is always excited to travel to new places with her friends, to have more adventures to tell her mother about and provide her with more opportunities to search for her father in the process. (Still waiting for that interaction if it ever happens by the way). What I admire the most about Jester and what is so strong about her character is her undying love and faith in her companions. She wants nothing more than to help the people she loves and to make them happy. She wants the M9 to be able to let go of the problems of their past or to face them head on so that they can grow and live their lives to the fullest with all the time they have. She believes so strongly in the people around her, in the Traveler, and in what they can do to help others that she knows no matter the strife, no matter what challenges they face, things can always be better tomorrow, as long as they stick together and face the world with a smile and hope. 

Eight - Yasha: “Now you won’t see all that I have to lose, and all that I’ve lost in the fight to protect it. I won't let you in, I swore never again, I can't afford no I refuse to be rejected” “I want to break these bones till they are better, I want to break them right and feel alive you were wrong, you were wrong, you were wrong my healing needed more than time” “I’m standing guard, I’m falling apart, and all I want is to trust you. Show me how, to lay my sword down for long enough to let you through.”

Talking about Yasha hurts my heart, but when I heard this song I thought of her automatically. Time and time again in the process of trying to protect the ones she loves, all she has done is lose them. After the second time she has not been the same, weary of letting people get close for fear of hurting them because of who she is and all she doesn’t know about herself. For her, it takes more than time to heal wounds, it takes understanding and forgiveness she does not believe she deserves but she truly needs. Despite the awkward, slightly off-putting demeanor she may present to others, Yasha cares about the Mighty Nein more than she would like, and wants nothing more than to protect them from any and all danger, and from herself. 

She wants to let people in, which is why she shared as much as she did about her past and her wife. We have seen how emotional it makes her to hear that the M9 love her and want her to be safe. But Yasha needs answers, about who she is, who she was, why the Stormlord chose her, and what her future path might look like. Though she loves the Mighty Nein and wants to be with them and help on their journeys, the fear of losing them may lead to dire situations and the possibility that in finding the answers she seeks she may be separating herself further and further from the ones she cares about the most. (Yasha I love you all I can say is oof).

Nine (nein) - Molly: “Who am I to say what any of this means, I have been sleepwalking since I was fourteen. Now as I write my song, I retrace my steps, honestly its easier to let myself forget” “It looks like empathy to understand all sides, but I'm just trying to find myself through someone else’s eyes. So show me what to do, to restart this heart of mine, how do I forgive myself for losing so much time?” “A little at a time, I feel more alive, I let the scale tip and feel all of it, it’s uncomfortable but right, and we were born to try to see each other through, to know and love ourselves and others well is the most difficult and meaningful work we’ll ever do.”

I mean really, there was no other way to close this out. (Spoilers ahead, kids, because you never know how far someone has seen). Considered the most short-lived, and one of the most impactful members of the Mighty Nein, Mollymauk was someone I always wanted to know more about, but never got the chance. When Molly dug himself out of the ground he did not want to know whose name was attached to his body before, because sometimes it’s easier to forget to make it your own. This is evidently clear by the many tattoos that covered his body, and the fact that he openly stated that this body was his and his alone. No one else is in control of it, he makes the decisions, and no one else can have a say in who he is and who he will be. Though he may have been stern and cold towards others at times, he always looked at all sides of a problem or conflict, and used all information available to make an opinion on what was right and just, one of his many famous lines being “we only steal from grumpy people”. Molly was always confident in who he was, but there were things he was missing because he didn't have a past to look back on. I just wish he could have had the time to find out. 

The final lines of the song are what I relate so strongly to Molly, that “to know and love ourselves and others well is the most difficult and meaningful work we’ll ever do” feels almost like his motto and the strongest impact his life and death had on the Mighty Nein. After his passing it became Beau’s personal mission, and a mission she pushed onto the Mighty Nein, to leave every place they visit better than they found it, something Molly instilled on her that had a lasting impact. So far, the Mighty Nein have been somewhat successful in fulfilling this goal, but it continues to be a driving force in everything they do, working to help others and make the world a better place for all those who inhabit it and those they have lost in the journey to make it a reality. Thank you for having been such a driving force in bringing the Mighty Nein together Molly, you were right, they really were a group of people in need of a good time and you gave it to them. Rest well.

So that’s everything! I’m sorry this was such a long post but I’ve been thinking about it for so long and I love Critical Role and its characters so much that I felt it was time to share my thoughts on why I relate the Mighty Nein so much to these songs. As I’ve said, if you haven’t I highly suggest checking out Sleeping at Last, they are fantastic and their songs are just as impactful and meaningful as the Mighty Nein themselves! 

Thank you for taking the time to read this, and here’s to another wonderful Thursday. Remember, don't forget to love each other!

[benson-custardcrotch]

Deep Talks and Catches - Scott Reed

((GIF does not belong to me))

Pairing: Scott Reed x Reader

Words: 1775

Warnings: swearing, mentions of rape (more like major talk of rape)

A/N: This is my first non-hockey imagine... I hope it meets the standard of imagines?? Also, feedback is always welcome and much appreciated!

Baseball. It had been a common ground between your and your boyfriend, Scott Reed. The tow of you had bonded over many things and even introduced each other to new things, but baseball was the on thing that kept the two of you grounded. The fields were where you two went to settle your issues, get things off your chest, or clear your minds. Having played softball for 9 years, you were no stranger to the diamond, it was like a second home to you... a second home that you shared with Scott.

After the release of Hannah’s tapes, rumors about Bryce began to circulate. And as expected, the rumors were denied and quickly shut down. But even before the releasing of the tapes and the rumors, you had always had a bad feeling about Bryce. The tapes just helped you piece everything together, confirm all your suspicions.

You had always thought it was weird how protective Scott was of you. The way he’d always have an arm around you, holding you close at all times; the way he’d always go out of his way to drive you home and walk you to the front door after school or the baseball games you stayed to watch; the way he’d always arrange study dates the night Bryce was throwing parties; the strangest thing was when he’d always put himself between you and other members of the baseball team, specifically Bryce... it was almost as if he was shielding you.

But now it all made sense to you, he was protecting you! He drove you home so no one else would and made study dates so you couldn’t go to Bryce’s parties where one of Bryce’s dumb goons could possibly hurt you. And he always put you on the other side him so the guys hat to literally go through him first if they wanted to get to you. But that also made you wonder...

Scott had always been protective, way before the tapes were released. He had to know something you didn’t.... Scott knew the truth!

The two of you stood about 10 feet apart from each other out in the empty outfield of the new Walker field, lazily throwing a baseball back and forth. The two of you remained silent, avoiding the obvious elephant in the stadium.

“Did you hear the tapes?” you asked, finally breaking the silence.

“I don’t really wanna talk about them right now,” Scott said. You audibly sighed as you caught the ball, holding it in your hand for a moment before throwing it back.

“Come on, Scott. You’ve been avoiding talking about the tapes since they came out,” you said.

“Yeah, because I don’t wanna talk about them!” Scott said. He threw the ball to you a bit harder than usual, a satisfying snap! accompanying the ball as you caught it in your glove.

“Why? You didn’t do anything wrong, you weren’t even mentioned in the tapes! Is there something you’re not telling me, Scott?” you asked. When Scott remained silent, you decided to push further. “What are you hiding, Scott? What aren’t you telling me?”

“Would you just throw the ball,” Scott mumbled. Throwing the ball back, you continued pushing further to get the answers you were looking for.

“Why won’t you talk about the tapes?” you asked, frustration evident in your voice.

“Because it’s none of our business!” Scott snapped. All the color from your face drained upon hearing those words fall out of your boyfriends mouth, your jaw fell open.

“Like hell it is! You know something and by keeping it to yourself, you are no better than the bad guys here!” you said.

“I can’t turn on my brothers like that!” Scott said.

“Then tell me, and I will! No one will know it was you that said anything, I’m nosy, they’ll believe me if I tell them I broke into the clubhouse and dug around until I found shit!” you suggested. At this point, you were willing to do anything to get the information out of Scott just so you could drag Bryce’s ass down to the pits of hell where he belonged.

“It’s not that simple, (Y/N)! If any of them find out that I told you anything, they’d come after you to make sure you stay quiet too, just like they’re doing to anyone who’s testifying against Bryce. And I can’t have that happen, (Y/N), my only concern is you; keeping you safe and away from those assholes is my biggest priority! And I can’t keep them away from you if they put me in the hospital,” Scott explained. Tears began to pool up in your eyes but you fought to hold them in for now was no time to break down.

“Scott, please... I’m begging you right now to tell me the truth. I wanna do right by the girls Bryce has hurt, they deserve justice, and Bryce deserves to be brought down so he can’t hurt anyone else!” you said.

“I’m sorry, (Y/N), I can’t,” Scott said shaking his head.

“Girls are getting hurt by Bryce, and because you refuse to tell anyone it will continue on forever, far after another girl takes her life. Scott, this has nothing to do with brotherhood, this is far beyond the bond inside the dugout, this is the life of another teenage girl who is already being judged by the way she looks and being labeled for life,” you explained, a single tear rolling down your cheek and dripping off your chin.

“(Y/N)-”

“Do you know what happens to a girl after a shit experience like rape happens to her? She is left broke, and scarred; she can’t help but feel a sense of stress and anxiety around guys; she’s forced to see nothing but the worst in guys that have nothing but the best intentions; and she is robbed of her sense of personal power... Nothing is more terrifying than the feeling of being trapped, and being forced to just stand witness to your own crime, not able to say a word or do anything because you’re over powered in all aspects. And after that you can’t help but feel ashamed and guilty, like you did something to provoke this or bring it upon yourself but really it wasn’t you who did anything wrong! It was the man who decided that the chance of rejection was too high to ask for consent and figured it would be easier to just force themselves upon you because they’re strong than you, because they can!” you said. By now tears began streaming down your cheeks like the dam holding them back had cracked and there was no way to fix it.

Scott dropped his glove on the ground and in a matter of seconds, his arms were wrapped around you, holding you tightly to his chest. He carefully ran his hand through your hair in an attempt to calm you down but for the first time it wasn’t working. Your body shook within his arms as you sobbed into his chest, unable to stop.

“I-I can’t let Bryce get away with this,” you stuttered, taking in a sharp, shaky breath. Scott slowly began to rock from side to side, still trying to get you to calm down enough so you two could talk about everything.

“Hey, hey, hey, hey... You’re alright, (Y/N). I’ve got you, and I won’t let anything happen to you. I won’t let anyone hurt you,” Scott said. He slowly lowered his body down to the ground, carefully taking you with him.

Together, the two of you laid in the grass for almost an hour. The entire time, Scott kept his arms wrapped tightly around you and constantly placed reassuring kisses on your forehead. And for that hour, Scott just let you cry, he let you get it all out and didn’t bother trying to rationalize or defend Bryce in anyway.

“Scott?” you tried to speak but your voice came out as a broken whisper.

“Yeah, baby?” Scott responded almost immediately.

“What goes on inside the clubhouse?” you asked.

Scott took a deep breath and sat up, taking you with him. He ran a quick hand through his hair before looking into your eyes, his heart breaking once he saw how broken up you were about this. He carefully reached up and cupped your cheeks in his hands, using his thumbs to wipe away any of your remaining tears. Then his hands fell to your hands, gripping them tightly.

“The clubhouse is where all of the baseball team hangs out. No one else knows about it unless they’re invited... But it’s where a lot of this shit takes place. Bryce, he invited girls and h-he rapes them,” Scott confessed. “He gets them to smoke themselves out of their mind or drink until they’re blackout drunk before he makes his move. There’s a box of polaroid photos inside the clubhouse to prove all of it.”

It took a moment for you to comprehend Scott’s words before you looked up at him, meeting his eyes. You didn’t wanna ask the question that was eat away at you, but you had to make sure.

“Ha-have you-”

“Absolutely not. I try to avoid the clubhouse at all costs, why do you think I’m always at your house?” Scott asked, a small laugh escaping his lips as he tried to lighten the mood.

“Here I was thinking you just really wanted to spend time with me,” you teased back, his smile widening as he pulled you into his arms.

“I love you,” Scott said, placing a gentle kiss on top of your head.

“I love you too,” you mumbled into his chest.

“But on a serious note, (Y/N)... Um, I’ve decided that I want to testify against Bryce,” Scott said. You quickly pulled away from Scott and looked up at him, concern laced your features.

“What? No! I don’t want them coming after you! I heard what they did to the others to keep them from speaking out against Bryce, they’d certainly do much worse to you because you betrayed them personally! I’ll testify,” you said.

“No, I’ve let this go on for too long, and you’re right; by covering Bryce, I’m no better than him,” Scott said.

“I love you so much, Scott Reed. And I promise that through all of this, I will be by your side and not let a damn thing happen to you, just like you did for me,” you said, placing a small kiss to Scott’s lips.

“I love you so much, (Y/N) (Y/L/N),” Scott replied, his lips covered by a wide smile.

[snowyseahorse]

All of them

why do you do this to me

flower crown: when did you last sing to yourself?

Are We There Yet by Timeflies and Chase Rice

fairy lights: if a crystal ball could tell you the truth about anything, what would you want to know?

Where to find Better People

daisies: what is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

Pulling myself out of my worst emotional/mental state like a year ago and evolving because of it (and I guess my grades too lol I have a 4.0 and I’m taking 4 AP tests monday-wednesday)

1975: what is the first happy memory that comes to mind, recent or otherwise?

Dancing in my room and Feeling Good

matte: if you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living?

I’d tell the truth more and tell people I love them and take easy classes because What’s The Point and make out with more people (I haven’t made out with anyone in like 6 months I’m sad) and get my driver’s license and cry more

black nail polish: do you have a bucket list? if so, what are the top three things?

I don’t! I just want to be happy. Nothing else matters.

pantone: describe a person close to your life in detail.

Jeremy @diediedie000000000000000000000 is my closest friend right now and he’s fantastic. He has the most confusing eating habits and I don’t even try to understand them; he’ll eat like 3 servings worth of pastries and beef jerkey and sunflower seeds and 5 thin mints for breakfast. His metabolism is golden too, so he eats so much but has no body weight or fat. His hair is black and long enough to run my fingers through, which always messes it up. (but he says he enjoys it so it’s all good) He likes the aesthetic when it’s wet and all over the place, but doesn’t like actually having wet hair. His skin is perfect too and he has cute little freckles below his eyes that make him look like a literal angel. He doesn’t like drawing attention to himself but is a sluT for attention from his friends, so when I randomly take pictures of him he looks so bashful and pleased and adorable and tries so hard not to smile. On FaceTime sometimes he’ll just straight-up ask for attention and I turn off my laptop and we both lay down on our beds and make noises at each other. It’s so hard to believe that he used to ignore me in the hallways because he’s shy. I’d pass him and call his name or touch his shoulders and he wouldn’t even make eye contact. He also lied and said that he doesn’t like cuddles, and now he’s one of the most physically affectionate people I’ve ever met. (he also said that he didn’t like to say “I love you” to his friends and guess what else changed) Even at school he’ll get really close and just touch my leg or my side. (our computer graphics 2 class probably all thinks we’re dating) He does this cute thing where if I pet his nose he like leans his head into my hand like a cat and my brain is just like oh my gosh protect this human. He has a lot of cute mannerisms too. When I’m on the call and he has to put his phone down he makes the same little face that he uses for literally every snapchat he sends, with his lips pressed together and his eyebrows raised. If he’s explaining something really intensely he will sometimes curve his fingers like he’s holding two tennis balls and tense up his entire body. He’s an enneagram 4, which basically means that he gets high off of being special, and we use it as a meme when we’re talking about him. Whenever I do something weird I ask him if it “satisfies his ennegram 4” and he replies that it does. He also likes doing things that make him feel closer to someone, I guess because it reaffirms his importance and reliance. Wearing no makeup or having messy hair or singing in front of him are things he really appreciates(I’ve done all three). I’m painting him as really soft and pure but he also can be quick to retaliate (”if someone starts something, you can be sure I’ll finish it”) or become defensive if he considers himself provoked. He doesn’t like having people dislike him though, and is really proud of not hating anyone or having any real enemies. His memory is terrible, especially at night, and honestly it’s a miracle if he remembers anything that happens past 9pm. Even his short term memory after dark is pitiful. There was one night where I tested him and told him to remember a song, and 10 minutes later when I asked he has no idea what I was talking about. I’d ask him to corroborate the story but there’s no chance that he remembers. The lack of memory makes him really doubtful of facts too. My favorite test is to ask “Jeremy, did I grow up in a fjord?” (I didn’t) and he usually starts with “no”, but if after he answers I don’t say anything, he always changes to “yes?” and prompts my “JeremY, this literally happens every time. You KNOW that I didn’t, and just because I stay silent doesn’t mean that you’re wrong.” Am I a bad person? He really just needs to be protected; I’m so worried that one day he’ll literally sell his soul or do drugs or blow all of his money and just think nothing of it. I would never trust Jeremy with finances. He’s an impulse buyer, and sometimes also gives people way too much money to eat spicy food or something else unpleasant; it drives me insane because I despisE spending money. Video games are another one of his vices. He’s amazing at every game he plays. It’s really just excessive at this point. Pokemon is his childhood and he destroys me on Pokemon Showdown constantly. (I’ve never played a proper pokemon game) He got me into PS, eating in my room, and RWBY, and I introduced him to Be More Chill and Heathers and Hamilton. He can sing really well, which is only further proof that he’s actually an angel. I feel like we have a pretty good balance as friends. He tackles his emotions head-on while I avoid them at all costs. He like to be able to rely on other people and I only want to rely on myself. He only owns one pair of shoes (by choicE) and I love feeling pretty by wearing makeup and outfits I like. He keeps his family out of his social life and I tell mine everything. He’s a wonderful friend and I don’t deserve him at all but I try my best to.

moodboard: do you feel you had a happy childhood?

Yes! My family is wonderful so I got lucky.

stars: when did you last cry in front of another person?

I don’t know. I usually don’t. It was probably Jeremy though.

plants: pick a person to stargaze with you and explain why you picked them.

Jeremy,,,,,, because he’s my closest friend.

converse: would you ever have a deep conversation with a stranger and open up to them?

To an extent. It depends on who they are.

lace: when was your last 3am conversation with someone, and who were they to you?

I haven’t stayed up until 3am probably since I was dating my ex boyfriend, so him.

handwriting: if you were about to die, and you could only say one more sentence to one person, what would you say and to whom?

Probably tell my mom that I love and appreciate her.

cactus: what is your opinion on brown eyes?

They wonderful and u n i q u e

sunrise: pick a quote and describe what it means to you personally.

“It is a dangerous thing to unbelieve something only because it frightens you“ - Cheshire Cat in the book “Heartless“ (I just really like it because it’s so consistent with truth and fighting against oneself)

oil paints: what would you title the autobiography of your life so far?

I don’t know, maybe something about evolving and getting through thing and becoming better. Maybe “Better” because it also aligns with the OneRepublic song

overalls: what would you do with one billion dollars?

I hate spending money, I’d probably just hold onto it forever

combat boots: are you a very forgiving person? do you like being this way?

I used to be more so, but life isn’t as black and white as it used to be. 

winged eyeliner: write a hundred word letter to your twelve year old self.

Literally 12 year old me was doing fine. She doesn’t need a letter. 14 year old me maybe did.

pastel: would you describe yourself as more punk or pastel?

pastel

tattoos: how do you feel about tattoos and piercings? explain.

I don’t think I’ll get any more piercing than the ones in my ears now because earrings irritate my ears and it just wouldn’t be worth it. I like the look of tattoos that are slightly darker than the skin, and are on the person’s hands or waist, but I probably won’t get any. I don’t know. People can do whatever they want with their bodies.

piercings: do you wear a lot of makeup? why/why not?

Foundation, eyeliner, mascara, concealer, some highlighter. I just like the look of it.

bands: talk about a song/band/lyric that has affected your life in some way. 

I don’t know, but TOP is always a good choice for this. I made my Depression Castle in minecraft listening to them.

messy bun: the world is listening. pick one sentence you would tell them.

I believe in you

cry baby: list the concerts you have been to and talk about how they make you feel.

The only one that made me feel anything was when I saw OneRepublic with my ex boyfriend. He started talking about depression and my hearT.

grunge: who in the world would you most like to receive a letter from and what would you want it to say?

I’ve talked about the first person I was in love with, and I’d probably want the letter to be from her because we don’t talk that much now. We’re going to prom in the same group and she’s going to be so gorgeous and I’m going to gravitate to her like I always do and I don’t know. I just want to know that she doesn’t hate me.

space: do you have a desk/workspace and how is it organised/not organised?

Yes! I’m sentimental as hec and so I have pieces of paper from my friends and small things and sticky notes all over the back. (actually I calligraphied “Riley” and “Katherine” onto sticky notes a while ago to put there because I don’t have anything physical to remind me of you two)

white bed sheets: what is your night time routine?

Call Jeremy, brush my teeth, floss, I’m probably already in pajamas, take my makeup off, unmake my bed, take my bra off, get into bed, say goodnight, sleeP

old books: what’s one thing you don’t want your parents to know?

That I masturbate………. My mom was talking once about how I might not orgasm until I’m in my 20s and that’s ok, and I just kind of laughed. It would probably be fine if I told her but ya know

beaches: if you had to dye your hair how would you dye/style it and why?

I just redyed it pink today!

eyes: pick five people to go on an excursion with you. who would you pick and where would you go/what would you do?

Jeremy, Marissa(she doesn’t have a tumblr), @parksandrecmeup, @sparklygemsuniverse, and @internet-pringle and honestly I’d go anywhere with them

11:11: name three wishes and why you wish for them.

Happiness (it’s what I always wish for at 11:11)

That my future will be wonderful

That the world will improve

painting: what is the best halloween costume you have ever put together? if none, make one up.

When I was smol my mom sewed this thick piece of fabric together and we painted and stick feathers to a mask so that I could be Hedwig from Harry Potter. I was so warmmmmmm

lightning: what’s the worst thing you’ve ever done while drunk or high?

Never been either because I’m boring

thunder: what’s one thing you would never do for one million dollars?

Kill someone

storms: you on only listen to one song for the rest of your life, or only see one person for the rest of your life. which and why?

Song, because I can still go about my normal life and interact with society

love: have you ever fallen in love? describe what it feels like to realise you’re in love.

Twice! The second time was better and softer. I was always smiling and happy, and texted him 24/7. My heart felt like it glowed.

clouds: if you’re a boy, would you ever rock black nail polish? if you’re a girl, would you ever rock really really short hair?

Nah. I like my hair

coffee: what’s your starbucks order, and who would you trust to order for you, if anyone?

Hot chocolate because I Avoid starbucks, and anyone can order for me tbh

marble: what is the most important thing to you in your life right now?

Myself *sunglasses emoji* (I’d say Jeremy but like he doesn’t need my help, my main goal is helping myself)

[smokingbrumby88]

Victim Impact Statement Draft #2

When you’re in a struggle for your life, there comes a moment that you just wish it would hurry up and end. When the fear has reached a maximum level and your finally tired of the constant struggle you begin to accept the thoughts “this is how I go out, this is how my life ends.”

His hands are so tight around my throat, I can’t breathe, and my vision is starting to go black. My legs have turned to jelly, and I can’t reach the ground. Tonight, I think he might kill me. In that moment, I was ready for it to all finally come to an end. But it didn’t, and that wasn’t the end. Charles and I were in a relationship for approximately 3.5 years, ending with his arrest in March 2019. On the night that I have described Charles assaulted me before a family Christmas gathering. He was careful to never break a bone, but he controlled every aspect of my life with consistent threats, intimidation and stand-over tactics that was always followed by actual physical abuse.

That Christmas morning of 2018, Charles’s assault lasted through the night and continued the next morning. Even coming after me as got I in the car to go and see my family. I was excited for Christmas; it was the first I would have with my family in many years and the last Christmas I would ever get to have with my dad who passed away in late 2019. When I arrived, my family knew something was wrong. They tell me I was shaking and hyperventilating. They knew if they asked, I would make up a cover story for Charles’s actions. So, my sister puts my sleeping niece in my arms to comfort me and nothing more is said until later, when they discover the marks on my neck. I have no choice but to uncover the ugly truth. And still, I say “it’s just an itchy neck.”

Most of the assaults have gone undocumented or unrecorded because of my fear of Charles’s retribution if I ever went to the Police. When they occurred, Charles would spend hours upon hours physically assaulting me. This was always accompanied by psychological torment about everything from my weight to my usefulness as a human being. Anything could provoke Charles’s anger. I wasn’t allowed my own opinion, I couldn’t think for myself, I couldn’t choose things that I wanted. I literally had no control of my own life and forever feared the physical repercussions that included being punched, kicked, threatened, strangled, or have a weapon used on me. He would only stop when he was satisfied that he had beaten the result that he wanted into me.

Not long after his arrest, I ended up in the Mental Health Ward due to the psychological impact of what had occurred over the years we were together. It all became too much for me and I attempted suicide. I had to be escorted by the police to the facility to ensure I did no further harm to myself.

Today, I live with frequent panic attacks, nightmares, flashbacks, insomnia, and a heightened level of anxiety. This affects my everyday living and my sense of personal safety. I am obsessive about locking my doors in the event that Charles finds out where I live. I have means to protect myself and feel the need to check these compulsively to feel safe. I live in the fear of his words when he’s told me “If I ever go to jail because of you, I WILL find you, and I will F**CKING KILL YOU! That’s a promise and don’t you ever forget it”. These words haunt me every day. I don’t ever feel safe, no matter what I am doing or who I’m with. I don’t even feel safe in my own home. I don’t go out at night and even something as simple as my grocery shopping, the moment I get in my car, I lock the doors as a precaution because I don’t trust anyone. I have spent the last 2 years seeking help to get through the trauma caused by all the assaults. I have been diagnosed with depression and PTSD in relation to not only the violent attacks from Charles, but the emotional, psychological and sexual ones as well.

It has been just over 2 years since the last time Charles assaulted me, I still remember the attacks daily and can often re-live them when my safety is threatened, or my anxiety is triggered by invasive, overwhelming thoughts that I struggle to control. Throughout our relationship, the violence increased in frequency and the reasons for it became more and more ridiculous. I cannot recall the first time he assaulted me, there were so many times that the violence occurred that my memory fails me when I try to remember them all.

Towards the end of our relationship, it became so ridiculous that he used any excuse to justify his violence towards me. One night after cuddling on the couch he mentioned my weight. I wasn’t interested in talking about it, he so got violent, emotionally abusive and controlling. He screamed at me, telling me I was the fattest girlfriend he had ever had, and I looked disgusting. He spent 4 hours punching me in the same spot on my arm over and over, leaving a large bruise. I would later tell my family members that it was caused by running into a door handle after chasing my cat through the house. I begged him to stop but that just infuriated him even more. In the end I gave up and told him what he wanted to hear. The next day he forced me to run the block, while he screamed at me. When I was not able to continue because of exhaustion, he threw me on the ground in the street and punched me until I got up. When I crossed the street to get away from him, he followed me, kicked me in the kidneys, slamming my head into a park table and forcibly dragged me back to the house.

The events described contribute to my daily anxiety, nightmares and flashbacks. I often struggle to manage this. I feel that most people expect me to be over it by now, but that’s not the case. Many things trigger me and bring on panic attacks where I re-live the trauma again. It doesn’t help that Charles will not leave me alone and keeps trying to contact me via Facebook and other forms of social media. Every time he does this (the most recent in April of this year) it’s like the flood gates of hell open up again and all the work I have put in to getting better disappears and I’m back to square one. This feels unfair. I feel like the justice system has failed me on so many levels and that Charles only got a smack on the hand. It feels unfair that Charles only got 6 months in jail. It feels unfair that everyday I’m living with the consequences of his actions. It feels unfair that he gets to move on with his life while I feel stuck in a cycle of trauma.

I want to move on with my life and be happy. I want this chapter to finally come to an end. I am the happiest I’ve ever been, but the damage of Charles’s actions keeps me from fully moving forward. I am thankful that someone has finally asked to hear what this has done to me. I could go on, give more detail and examples of Charles’s horrible actions and how this has affected me, but even writing this is traumatizing and difficult to complete. I hope this helps to somewhat capture the effects of what Charles did to me.

[butsomeofusarelookingatthestars]

In Your Footsteps: Part 2

You’d never dreamed that something like this could ever happen to you. You had everything…your dream job, a loving boyfriend and the perfect life. But, all that would change with one note and your life would become a living nightmare.

Part 1 (x)

I’m properly starting to get into writing this - trust me to enjoy writing the more sinister stories. Anyway, let me know what you think! I’m so grateful for all your comments and likes so far! Thank you so much! This is the chapter that starts to really get into the story. There’s also a fair bit of foreshadowing, if you click on to it.

You hummed happily to yourself as you stirred the bubbling pot in front of you. Luke was coming home tonight and you couldn’t wait to see his smiling face again.

An uneventful week had passed since you’d spoken with him, both of you had been too busy with work to talk properly since your phone call. Instead, you’d been exchanging texts to inquire about each other’s wellbeing.

You knew it was important to Luke to check up on you, it was just part of his protective nature. You were also concerned about him. After all, his job as an FBI agent entailed significant danger. It reassured you when he sent you a text wishing you good night.

But, a text paled in comparison to actually seeing him in the flesh. Undoubtedly, it was the highlight of your week to be reunited with your boyfriend.

In order to celebrate his return, you’d decided to cook him a special dinner. Luke could return the favour with his famous lasagne tomorrow night, but tonight you wanted to treat him. Luke had always told you that he adored coming home to see you in the kitchen, so he’d be extremely pleased by your decision.

Your stomach grumbled noisily as you shook more salt and pepper into the pasta sauce. You hoped Luke would be arriving soon. As if your thoughts had been read, the house phone began to ring. You carefully turned down the heat, before trotting over to pick it up. You assumed it must have been Luke calling with an update of his location.

“Hey, are you nearly here?”

You were met by complete silence. You frowned in confusion as you glanced down at the screen, it was definitely connected so why wasn’t anyone answering.

“Hello? Luke?”

There was a brief pause before the phone call abruptly cut off. Perhaps Luke just had a bad connection. After all, he could still be on the jet. Before you could return back to the stove, the shrill ringtone rang out across the apartment again. You immediately picked it up.

“Hello? Y/N speaking, who is it?”

Once again, only silence greeted you. A dull beep informed you that they’d hung up. Intrigued by the call, you glanced down to view the number. Unfortunately, it was withheld number. You shrugged your shoulders, perhaps someone had just dialled the wrong number.

A knock on the door interrupted your thoughts.

“Luke!” You exclaimed as you swung the door open to be met with his wide grin. You eagerly pulled him into a tight embrace, wrapping your arms around his neck.

“What have I told you about checking through the door viewer before answering the door?” He murmured softly against your hair as he gratefully accepted your affectionate gesture.

You rolled your eyes at his lecture as you pulled away. He was constantly giving you safety advice.

“Can I just be happy you’re home please?”  

Luke’s responding warm chuckle made you smile, stepping aside to let him in. You laughed softly as you saw him instantly sniff appreciatively at the delicious smell that filled the apartment. You always joked about his big appetite, telling him he was lucky his job was physically demanding otherwise he’d end up overweight.

“Dinner’s nearly ready.” You told him, wandering back over to switch the oven off. You smiled as he wrapped his arms around your waist, nuzzling your neck affectionately. “I got distracted by your phone calls.”

“Phone calls?” Luke questioned, his voice sounded surprised as he bent down to taste the sauce that you were feeding him with the wooden spoon. “My phone died on the plane, so I just decided to head here anyway.”

“It must have just been a wrong number then. You should be thankful because I wouldn’t have been happy about you hanging up on me.” You joked, poking his shoulder playfully as he went to steal a spoon full of pasta.

“Luke, I’m literally about to serve dinner. Stop eating it all.” You smacked at his hand as he went to grab another mouthful. He just grinned at you, knowing you always found his antics charming.

You shook your head as you bit your lip to contain a growing smile. You were glad to have your goofy boyfriend home.

You woke up the next morning pressed close to Luke’s chest as his muscular arms lay draped across your waist. You smirked to yourself as he snored softly. Although he constantly denied it, Luke was one of the noisiest sleepers you’d ever met. Luckily for you, you were a deep-sleeper so his snoring had never disturbed you.

You could have stayed in bed forever. Luke’s handsome face was resting in a peaceful expression, one you rarely got to see when he was awake, and the sunlight streaming in radiated his hair and caramel skin.

You sighed quietly as you reluctantly extracted yourself from his strong hold, the last thing you wanted to do was leave your attractive slumbering boyfriend in bed alone. But, unfortunately, you had to get to work.

However, Luke had different plans. He was an extremely light sleeper – he’d previously told you it was hangover from his military days – so, your movement had woken him up. His soft grumbling made you chuckle as he outstretched his arms to pull you back down onto his chest. You giggled as he pressed soft kisses over your face in an effort to persuade you to stay in bed with him.

“I have to get up.” You told him firmly, smiling as you placed a light kiss on his lips. He looked up at you in bemusement, playing with the strings on your pyjama top teasingly. You smiled softly, ruffling his short dark curls.

Luke always looked adorable in the morning. His unruly curls sticking up and sleepy eyes made you smile. Although, you were a little bit jealous at how perfect he managed to look first thing.

“There’s some eggs in the fridge and bread in the cupboard if you fancy breakfast later.” You told him over your shoulder as you began to retreat into the bathroom to get ready. Luke’s whine of protest at your movement just made you laugh. “I’ll leave some coffee out for you.”

Unsurprisingly, a cup of coffee failed to make the same impression that a morning in bed with each other promised.

You exhaled loudly as you gratefully collapsed into the seat at the nurses’ station. It had been a hectic day at the hospital so far and you need a short break from the chaos. You smiled as your friend Grace approached you.

“Lucky you! Who are the flowers from?” You asked her, curiously eying up the beautiful bouquet she was careful carrying in her hands. Her responding grin made you smile.

“You should know! They’re for you. Luke’s so sweet.” You told you, handing over the bunch of red roses.

You glanced up at her, completely perplexed by her announcement. It wasn’t like Luke to send you flowers, especially at work. He also knew that you weren’t a big fan of roses as you found them overly dramatic and cheesy.

“Was there a card?” You asked, frowning in confusion as you examined the flowers.

“No. Do you honestly need one? Who else would be sending you flowers other than your boyfriend?”

You frowned in confusion. There was something about the gesture that struck you as odd. But, before you had time to question the gift, your pager bleeped loudly. The roses would have to wait, right now a patient needed you.

You giggled loudly as you sipped happily at your glass of wine. You and a group of your friends from the hospital had decided to visit the bar after work. All of you had been feeling the strain from your profession recently and just needed to blow off some steam together.

You’d already text Luke to let him know that you’d be home late. His response had made you smile. It was rare for you to have a boyfriend who understood you so well. Usually, their response would have been critical and they would have been unhappy at you spending the little free time you had at the bar with your friends. But, Luke was different. He was happy that you were enjoying yourself, telling you that he’d wait up for you and would lure you home with the promise of leftover lasagne.

A loud bang caught your attention. Grace had fallen off her chair in her drunken state. Her high-pitched giggles provoked the entire table to burst out in uncontrollable laughter. You shook your head as you wiped tears of glee from your eyes. Grace was always the joker of the group.

You reached down to help her stand, supporting her weight as she swayed. You bid the rest of the group goodbye, informing them that you’d ensure she made it home safely.

Her drunken babbling entertained you as you sat outside waiting for the taxi. The cold night air seemed to be helping her slightly. A loud ring from your mobile phone caught your attention. Thinking that it could be the taxi driver arriving you answered it without hesitation.

“Hello?”

But, you were given no response.

“Hello?” You asked again, beginning to become irritated by the silence.

A sudden noise caught your attention. Heavy breathing echoed down the line. Who was it?

“Hello?” You snapped down the phone. The lack of response was infuriating you. You just wanted to go home.

The other person at the end of the line swiftly ended the call at your tone of annoyance.

You sighed heavily as you glanced at the screen. The words ‘No Caller ID Available’ angered you further. This had been the third time in the past 24 hours that someone unknown had called you. Perhaps a company had gotten hold of your details and had been cold calling you.

However, as you helped Grace crawl into the taxi, you couldn’t explain why the hairs on the end of your neck rose.

You glanced around the dark, deserted street. It felt as if someone was watching you from the shadows. The sudden shouting from a drunken couple exiting the bar made you jump. You shook your head at your foolishness, before joining Grace in the taxi. It was time to go home.

“Hey, did you have a good time?” Luke asked, piping up from his place on the couch.

“Yeah, it was good. I had to take Grace home though, she had one too many glasses of wine.” You told him, standing behind him to place a soft kiss on his lips.

Luke smiled against your lips, grinning as you pulled away. “Why am I not surprised?” He chuckled, knowing full well about your friend’s tendency to drink a little too much.

You laughed at his comment, playfully ruffling his hair with your hand before moving towards the kitchen. Luke stood up to join you, grinning at you as you dove straight into the leftover lasagne he’d made earlier.

“Hungry?” He asked, raising his eyebrows as you unashamedly devoured the dish.

“Starving.” You muttered. It was true. You’d been so busy today, you hadn’t had time for a proper lunch.

Luke eyes glittered with amusement, before they fell on the object you’d dropped on the kitchen counter.

“Do I have something to worry about?” He asked eyeing the bouquet of red roses. “Or is a patient just overly fond of you?”

You halted your eating, his words freezing you in your tracks. “I assumed they were from you.”

Luke’s brow creased in confusion as he shook his head. “Why would I get you roses? I know you prefer orchids.”

You just stared at him in bewilderment. That had been your exact thought earlier, but if Luke hadn’t sent them who had? And why wouldn’t they leave a note? Of course, patients often left doctors gifts thanking them for their treatment. But, it was usually just chocolates or cheap flowers and, they always left a card because they wanted them to know who the gift was from.

“Must have just been a patient then.” You reasoned, shrugging as you stuck your fork back into the lasagne. Luke nodded in agreement, accepting your explanation.

“Roses though.” He sighed, shaking his head teasingly before he wrapped his arms around you. “Hopefully I don’t have any competition.”

You grinned up at him. “Oh please, you’re the only one for me.”

Meanwhile, inside the bag you’d haphazardly dumped on the couch, your phone began to ring again.

It was an Unknown Caller.

[tickle-bugs]

give us that good npc content 👀

Anon I got this sometime in the afternoon, then spent hours looking at it, so overcome with emotion that I just...could not answer the ask until now.

After a long career of being only occasionally squirmy, I have discovered that apparently being invited to talk about by NPCs is what it takes to get me flustered. I hate it here /j

For the sake of anonymity, I’m referring to my characters by the names I originally gave them before settling on the final versions? My campaign is unique enough where people who know me would recognize my NPCs by name and....no.......<3

If I ever answer an ask like “who?” If you ask about an NPC I’m so sorry just aggressively gesture to this post ahsbfifhfbf

Also my campaign is pirate-themed!

Headcanons under the cut! This is...very long. Oops.

Capt. Oliver Blackwood

Human Warlock/Rogue multiclass! The only thing is that no one really knows about the Warlock part, and he pretends he doesn’t know about magic/tries to be subtle about it.

OLLIE MY BELOVED SPECIAL BOY <3

He’s my favorite 🥺

He’s incredibly touch starved. He’s got a pretty standard tragic past. His development is very much the ‘charismatic character hides their pain with jokes’ + ‘secretive character talks in circles around backstory bc trust issues’ tropes but then! He acquires a found family and learns to love again

But hello touch-starved 👀

One of my players kissed him on the cheek and he made the internet dial-up sound (plus she knows he’s ticklish now, everyone say thank you insight)

Ollie’s like a 8 in sensitivity y’know? A lil over average. Not really hypersensitive. So he claims. 

My god he giggles. He has this sort of orchestrated ‘I’m in public, this is what laughs are supposed to sound like’ laugh that he’s perfected over years of pretending, but he is. So giggly when he’s drunk, lets his guard down, or when he’s tickled (metaphorically and physically). He’s so so embarrassed about it because it doesn’t fit this collected, charismatic persona he’s made.

His captain’s hat has a feather in it and both his ex (they’re on good terms) and his bf (well if my players don’t date him, which they want to, but I set up that he ends up with a bf if they don’t get with him) both bully him by dragging it across his ears and neck.

His ribs, stomach, and hips are SO bad. He’s one of those people who folds over when you get a bad spot? His bf loves to sneak up behind him and ever-so-gently curl fingers into bad spots just to hear him wheeze out giggles.

Ollie’s useless when it comes to hiding laughter or not laughing. He scrunches his nose and puffs his cheeks and then the fight is lost.

He’s got a lot of scars and gentle tickles over them have him in BITS (bf’s fav activity, obviously)

He kicks!!! And squirms!!!!

As a ler he’s super mischievous and SPEEDY (he can walk without audible footsteps so. Ideal for shenanigans)

Doesn’t really know how to vocalize it but he loves the warmth and affection of being tossed around, wrestled down, and tickled by someone he loves.

MY BELOVED DARLING <3

Roman

It’s him! My boy! Ollie’s bf and all around himbo. 

Half-orc half-aasimar oath of the open sea paladin!

He’s built like a brick shithouse. I take no criticism. Beefy with a squishy tummy. 7 and a half feet tall. Rockin tits. Optimal bf construction.

Pure of heart dumb of ass! Not a single light on upstairs! The wii shop music is playing in his head at all times. 

Affectionately called Ro or Roro by everyone who knows him (I mean....Roman is not his Real Name anymore but he does have a cute nickname for his real name too)

He’s pretty ticklish, probs like a 7, but he’s so beefy that taking him down is very much a group/magic effort. Extremely sensitive to squeezes and gentle tickles (rough tickles don’t get to him and it gives him the chance to get the upper hand)

His stomach, biceps, thighs, and sides? He will die. He has super ticklish ears too! Ollie thinks it’s incredibly endearing :)

Ro has wings! They’re golden and downy and (partially) incorporeal? They pass through things like his clothes and doors and such but it’s possible to feel around the edges of them/rest your hands on them if you don’t think too intently about it

That being said, Ollie knows this and makes excellent use of this knowledge. It’s an incapacitating spot for Ro, he gets so desperate, and Ollie loves the way his laugh gets a little musical and reflects his heritage :)

Ro is thee ler to rule them all. Bear hugs? check. Throwing lees over his shoulder/carrying them under his arms with ease? Check. Chasing down a lee and tackling them? Mhm. He can do it all!

Super playful and casually teasy! He’s way wiser than most people expect and is...mildly intrigued by analyzing what makes his friends tick. Meaning he has the potential to be thee most ruthless teaser but he usually reins it in so he doesn’t make anyone uncomfy yknow?

Likes making his friends happy :)

Kiernan 

WIFEYYYYYYYYYY

Ro’s cousin! Half-orc half-aasimar path of wild magic barbarian!

Stronk like mountain and so delightfully earnest and awkward. Just a big lady who’s here for a good time.

7′4″ and forever bitter that Ro grew to be taller than her, but she lovingly bullies him to make up for it <3

Also like an 8 in ticklishness BUT only ticklish in very specific spots. She doesn’t react at all otherwise. The spots in question: her booty, backs of her thighs, palms of her hands, her spine/shoulderblades, and upper ribs. She’s never been able to resist there. 

She has such contagious laughter!! So open and free and she yelps a lot. 

Gets super blushy and curls up when she’s tickled like “nooooooooooo” she’s so CUTE

Other half of Ro’s tag team. They are insufferable together. CEOs of scooping up their friends and working together to destroy them, including pointing out spots that the other is missing, having normal conversations over a screeching lee and having the audacity to shush them, and teasing one another about who’s the better ler and making their lee decide (and there is no right answer <3)

Top ten women who deserve a kiss. All ten are Kiernan. 

Falls for a lot of tickle traps, including the classic “Don’t!” “Don’t what?” “Tickle me! NO WAIT--”

Fun fact pinching her bicep anywhere close to her shoulder will have her in shambles. Secret spot she doesn’t know about. Very good spot. 

Quinn Tissaia

WIFEYYYYYYYYYY 2: electric boogaloo

Half-elf Circle of the Moon Druid!

Mom friend. Responsible one that begs everyone not to set things on fire but she’s chuckling on the sidelines when the others get wrecked, casually pointing out spots and using shape water to be a bully.

She’s got some ~lore~ about her connection to water and the sea that I won’t get into, but she does have a lot of water spells, and I’m just saying...feathers made of snow...Quills used by watery hands...WATERY HANDS...

She’s like a 5! Definitely could be made to laugh and surrender but chances are she’s wrecking you before you can think about it

So rude. So MEAN. Makes little noises of interest at every funny sound and chases it, catalogues reactions for later, and various devious uses of magic while she’ll sit off to the side, filing her nails and listening to her lee cackle. Mean. Wife <3

Despite that, usually the first person to suggest that Ro or Kiernan should let their lee go. HYPOCRITE 

Her ears are deathly ticklish and it’s a secret she protects with her life. 

She wears a lot of loose, flowy clothing which makes it very enticing for anyone to attempt tickling her, but they only get in one side squeeze before she whirls on them and takes them down.

Puts on an outward appearance of being stern and responsible but she’s a baby sister. She used to be such a little fiend and she STILL IS, she just hides it behind boring things like diplomacy and civility. 

Can easily take on Ro and Kiernan and win. Wife <3

Thank you for indulging me, anon! I’m sending you a personalized forehead kiss. Mwah <3