#cosmic joke of a sequence of events

[tielesiti-eftu]

we really picked one of the days ever to split a slugcat huh

[septembermonologues]

my life is just one long cosmic joke because the chosen sequence of events for tonight was 1) i drop my favorite glass straw while im setting my coffee cup down and it breaks into what i thought was two clean pieces 2) once i get my coffee out to the car i almost immediately spill 3/4 of it into my cup holders 3) i get back home and hang for awhile, go to throw something away, step on something that like kind of hurts, and then look down to see a tiny piece of glass in my foot that immediately started bleeding so much it was soaking through a paper towel and i have to fend off my cats while im hopping around on one foot

[knights-unwelcommentary]

From what I understand, the sequence of events involving him (without going into detail) was:

Has a bad childhood and resorts to drugs and religion to cope >

Finds out he and his religion are a cosmic joke >

Finds Lil Cal, probably becomes self-aware about living in a story and has an existential crisis >

Schemes with Doc Scratch to make the events at the end of act 5 take place and take revenge on the humans for breaking his faith >

Doc Scratch tells him they're all suckers and then leaves the chat >

He spends the meteor trip lying low (so Kanaya won't kill him) while dating Karkat and Terezi, and scheming with his dancestor >

At the tail end of the journey, he gets controlled by Aranea on and off once she decides to put her plans into motion >

When he isn't being controlled by Aranea he's using the music boxes to travel through time and performing a role similar to the handmaiden so the timeline will result in the cherubs playing the game >

Game Over happens >

Vriska bullies him and steals his relevance during the 3 years reprise meteor trip >

The meteor crew locks him in a fridge >

He falls into a black hole >

Some unknown events take place resulting in him fetching the cherubs from their landing site on Earth (in universe C) some time before the heat death of the sun, and bringing them to the meteor where he's been preparing for them >

Some events take place resulting in him guiding Caliborn through his journey in the cherub session. I'm not sure if this happens before or after the last point in the sequence >

Caliborn's masterpiece happens >

Becomes part of Lil Cal >

Becomes part of Doc Scratch >

Becomes part of LE >

As part of each one he ensures that everything that happened to him happens in the first place

Every day I wonder what the fuck was Hussie's plan with Gamzee because his story makes no fucking sense what is going on with him

[00fairylights00]

Prologue: It Wept Till There Was Nothing Left

Author's Note: Hi guys! Welcome to the inside of my brain, where I think about Little Nightmares every waking moment of my existence. Love these games and I just want the kiddos to be happy and safe so I thought it'd be fun to write a happy AU. Please note I have never read any other happy AUs for Little Nightmares so if you see similarities, firstly) they are definitely not on purpose, secondly) uuuh drop the link bestie I wanna see it. To make the explanation of the final boss fight a little more emotionally labouring for Mono, instead of there being three different room patterns, I’ve upped it to a number closer to ten, so please don’t come for me like “actually, you only have to hit the music box three times in the battle sequence” I am well aware, I just think it’d have more impact if The Tower kept forcing him to fight monster Six! (Cause obviously angst is neat).

Also, the game (Little Nightmares II) has now taken place over a series of weeks rather than a few hours, for immersion and whatnot. Wanna chat with me about this fic or other Little Nightmares-related topics, you can join The Pantheon discord server my friends and I run!  The link is here!

Mono and Six escape from the collapsing tower by the skin of their teeth, deciding to bed down in the ruined apartment before moving on, Six’s hunger begins.

He’d just wanted to help, that was it. He wanted to save his friend after cowering in pain and fear from the Thin Man and get the hell out of this city, but when he finally got to The Tower, when he finally got to her, The Tower had stripped her of her innocence and turned her into a monster. Her limbs were twisted and broken, and her hair had grown out to cover her face but despite her intimidating size, she offered him sanctuary in that little room.

She offered her music box, a replica of the one she’d had when he found her in The Hunter’s cabin when he’d accidentally set into motion a series of events that would haunt them for the rest of their lives, most importantly, events that had put his friend in danger again, and again, and again. He felt as though he’d never forgive himself and as he sat there, watching the crank of the music box spin endlessly he realised that she had gotten what she wished for.

The Tower had turned Six into a Monster, bigger than any they’d encountered before, she was strong and formidable, nothing would ever hurt her again and that fact settled heavy like a stone in the pit of his stomach, The Tower had granted her wish for safety and strength in a way so twisted it had stolen her humanity, what was that old saying, something about being careful with wishes.

It seemed accurate given the world they’d grown up in, taking Six’s pleas and prayers and turning them into a cosmic joke. No matter how much they did to stay alive, to prove to the world that they belonged there, it would continue to spit in their faces and kick them while they were down. How hilariously cruel.

When he brought The Tower to him, the doors had opened in greeting and had welcomed him home. This building felt alive, the static of the transmission fizzing in the walls, climbing over his skin and wrapping around him like a safety blanket, he had to force himself not to buckle under the weight of feeling at home.

He’d never felt at home anywhere, not even before when he’d stayed with that group in the orphanage, way back when. A fire had started and then been put out, only for some nasty Adult to come along and snatch many of his pack away, to be consumed or passed along. He hid in a TV unit and when the creature looked down on him he wished with all his might to be anywhere else. Not a moment later was he spat out into long grass in the middle of a forest, found his way to Six, and as they became closer she had felt like home too.

Mono knew what he had to do, he couldn’t leave her like this. The Tower gave false promises, her Monster form wasn’t sustainable and eventually, the great monolith would consume her too, he could feel it in the way the transmission prickled on his skin, he could stay but she wasn’t welcome here.

At first he tried to reason with her, calling out to her, tugging on her sleeve but his voice seemed to hurt her, she flinched at his shouts and brushed him away as he hung off her arm. He hit the floor with a thud, sliding a little. As he brushed himself off and got to his feet he noticed the suitcase at the back of the room, a mallet lay on top of the wrinkled clothing. His heart sunk at the implication, he had to hurt her again.

And surely, this time, she wouldn’t forgive him.

He took a deep breath and picked the hammer up, he dragged it to her and he felt her looking down at him, could feel her begging him not to do it but doing nothing to stop him and with a heavy heart swung the mallet over his shoulder with all of his might.

It all happened in a flash, the tune he often found her humming when they bedded down for the night coming to an abrupt stop, the sound of twisting metal cut out to silence and when he opened his eyes all he could see was darkness, when he blinked again he was back in her room. The toys were replaced with Flesh and the building was collapsing, he was quick to move, running for the door.

Six was at his heels, screaming out in gargled distress. He felt his heart breaking for his friend as he once again tore her safety from her, he hoped to all hope that she would forgive him for this. But until she was herself again he had to focus on not getting flattened.

He weaved through the hallways, jumping chasms and trying to keep himself oriented as The Tower’s influence changed the form of the rooms with each doorway he passed through, he suspected The Tower wanted him dead, or at the very least trapped. He almost scoffed at the idea, considering it was The Tower that had left the mallet in her room. How was it his fault that he’d jumped to the most logical conclusion?

Six screamed again, as he flung himself through a hole in the wall, scrambling to take cover under a table, he held his breath, keeping as still as stone as she tore through the room, looking for him. She pushed her way through a closed door, thumping down the corridor and out of sight. He made a run for her but just missed her as the door she entered closed behind her.

But a familiar axe, stuck in the wood of the door that emitted a purple glow, told him everything. The Tower was mocking him and just like when he’d doomed Six in The Hunter’s cabin by carelessly chopping down the door to free her, he would have to doom her here too. This time he swore it would be different, he was never going to let anyone lay a finger on Six ever again.

With steeled determination he jumped for the Axe’s handle and broke through the door, she was in the centre of the room, hands covering her music box protectively. The static in The Tower felt different, stronger. The tune of the box was lilting due to the damage it had sustained, Mono picked up his axe and yelled.

“Hey!”

Six tore forward, smashing her fists as she went while he slipped through the hole in the door and was transported to the other side of the room, he sprinted as fast as he could, swinging down on the music box just as Six turned back around. The impact on the music box, which he now understood was some kind of tether that was causing her monster form, split the concrete floor, changing the shape of the room before he was plunged again into darkness.

He rushed pained, frightened breaths between his teeth as he felt the force of being thrown against concrete settle in his bird-like bones. He called out again, his voice echoing through the empty plain as he wandered aimlessly. Eventually he stumbled across his axe, stuck in the door again. The axe clattered to the ground as he grabbed it and with a powerful grunt he broke through the door once more.

He continued on like this, each time he made headway with the music box the room became harder to traverse, he had to think clearly about his movements or he’d be killed by his angry friend. Every yell hurt and angered her, drawing her away from the music box to move in on the static form he was leaving behind, it became a cycle.

Call out, run for your life, hit the music box, wake up in the void, find the door, do it again.

He’d lost count of the amount of times he’d opened his eyes to complete darkness but by what he guessed was the tenth time he almost couldn’t find it in him to get up, he felt tears welling up from the feeling of hopelessness that was consuming him. His body ached, his head was swimming and he could taste blood in his mouth. The Tower would keep making him fight her, he was sure this was his Divine punishment, for sentencing her to death all those weeks ago in the cabin, forcing her back out onto the street where it was infinitely more unsafe than being kept alive by a Hunter who seemed to be playing family. This was all his fault.

He wiped his eyes, breathing deep. This was it, he was putting an end to this now. If he and The Thin Man were alike enough that he could beat him at his own game, then he could bend The Tower to do his bidding too. He swung the axe, he counted the doors and the warped levels of the floor, looking for the axe and when he found it he screamed.

“HEY!”

Six was up, leaning down to swat at him as he tore through the doorway, he warped to the other side jumping for the axe, when he had a grip on it he moved swiftly as to avoid her next swing. He was through another doorway, yelling again and when he warped through, her back to him, he knew this was it.

He ran for the music box, heaved the axe over his shoulder and with one final, earth-shattering blow, the music box bent. When he pushed himself up from the floor this time, the room was different. The Flesh having closed in around them, it reeked of death, silt and ash. He looked up, Six was on the floor reaching forward in a final attempt to protect her music box.

She covered the bent metal trinket with her hands as Mono pulled the axe from the floor, when he approached he looked up at her again, her eyes pleaded with him, tears welling up in the corners of her bloodshot eyes, he cast her a sad look, there was nothing he could do, nothing he could say. None of it would fix this, it wouldn’t fix his mistake in The Hunter’s cabin or her kidnapping in The School, or setting The Doctor alight in The Hospital and it definitely wouldn’t fix his decision to not reach out to her in that apartment when The Thin Man chased them. The Thin Man that he’d freed due to his own morbid curiosity.

“You just had to know what was behind that door, didn’t you?” He whispered to himself.

He felt sick, but he couldn’t leave her like this. She'd been endlessly generous and kind to him despite it all, helping even though she wasn’t obligated to. At first, maybe she stayed out of necessity, knowing that parts of the city would be too dangerous to be alone in, but he was sure by the time they’d made it to the hospital that she was staying because she chose to, they’d played for hours in that toy room, trading secrets and knowledge, she’d taught him how to play make-believe and he’d taught her how to draw flowers.

And when she’d curled up on his lap to take a short nap, feeling her tension leave her, he promised himself that he’d continue to protect her, but Mono was never very good at keeping promises. He had always been unlucky and just like every other thing he wanted but could never have, Six was torn away from him too.

He called out to her one final time, fury at himself, The City, The Thin Man and The Transmission for ruining everything, poured into his desperate scream, Six flinched and he took his opportunity. The axe head collided with the music box and both he and Six were thrown backwards, he was on his feet quicker this time, and as her cries of agony bounced off the walls, she reached for the music box, its form glitching and tune warping, it’s true form becoming clear, it was a vessel keeping her distorted, Six’s monster form shifted and bowed under the pressure, limbs changing length and ragged pained breaths wheezing from her throat, she was so close, almost touching the metal but Mono swung quicker.

Mono’s final call echoed off the walls endlessly, the room went dark and when the strange purple light filled the room again, the music box was destroyed and his best friend was sitting there, looking at him. He couldn’t see her eyes but he felt the relief through his whole body. They stared at each other for a while, in shock that they were finally reunited and reality came crashing in, literally.

The Flesh that was The Tower’s true form was closing in, Mono yelled for Six frantically and they raced down the hallway. All he knew was run, don’t look back, just keep moving, the mantra he’d yelled in his head whenever something gave chase. Mono couldn’t hear anything over the rushing of blood in his ears as he hurried to keep up with Six, not daring to spare a look behind him at the brick and mortar that had given way to walls of flesh.

They jumped, climbed and weaved as The Flesh closed in and as he could see the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel the flesh eyes tripped him up, Six made it across the skinny crumbling walkway, chunks of it falling away under her feet, she jumped a small chasm that had fallen and collapsed to her knees on somewhat solid ground, catching her breath and then turning back to him and reaching out her hand, like she’d down a thousand time before.

Six had seen it before Mono had, he was going to run out of road and he’d need to jump the gap, he would fall short without her help, he reached for her and leaped as he felt the ground give way beneath him. He closed his eyes and hoped that she’d catch him, just one more time he pleaded in his head. He felt her fingers around his wrist gripping for dear life.

He chanced a look up at her, The Flesh had stopped moving in, she was looking down at him with a blank expression as he hung limply, helplessly, vulnerably over the ledge. Was she going to drop him? She wouldn’t, would she? He thought briefly that she’d be right to do it, after everything he put her through. He swung his legs, sweaty hand scrabbling at the concrete of the broken ledge for support, trying to pull himself up, but he couldn’t get a solid hold,

“Six!” He yelled, chancing a look at the abyss below, he wouldn’t survive a fall this high, “please pull me up.”

She didn’t answer, continuing to stare, like she wasn’t really there. He looked down again, panic welling up in his stomach, oh my god, she was going to drop him.

“SIX!” His frantic, panicked desperation seemed to snap her out of whatever trance she was in. She shook her head minutely and breathed his name with a kind of horror he never wanted to hear again.

She heaved him up over the ledge, and he shook violently as he placed his hands and knees on solid ground, Six looked perturbed, unsure of what to do or say, which didn’t last long as Mono rushed forward to crush her into a hug.

“I thought you were going to drop me.” He repeated over and over again in a terrified whisper, Six didn’t say anything but she did return the hug.

“Let’s get out of here,” She whispered as she stood up, pulling him along with her. They hobbled to the TV screen plastered to the wall, arms slung over each other's shoulders to keep them standing upright, the static felt warm on their skin as they pushed against the glass.

They slid through the static, passing through The Flesh tunnel and then hitting the floor. The TV behind them cast white light onto the ground and they both breathed hard, trembling uncontrollably on the cold wood flooring.

Six was the first to stand, her movement catching Mono’s attention, in her casted shadow was a glitching image of… herself?

Was The Tower not destroyed? Surely it couldn’t survive without The Thin Man, the shadow stared Six down, her hands shook in fear as the shadow cast a glance over to a flyer laying on the floor in the corner, she looked back at Six and giggled, the sound making Mono’s blood run cold.

And as fast as the glitching shadow had appeared it was gone, the room bathed in darkness as the TV powered off, it was silent and then Six’s stomach growled painfully, she keened forward, hugging her torso and falling back down to her knees.

Mono was on his feet, grabbing Six by the shoulders, her face was twisted in pain.

“Are you okay?” He asked, Six grabbed one of his wrists and shook her head frantically.

Mono turned his attention to the flyer the shadow had been so preoccupied with, he pat her shoulder before going over to investigate.

The flyer had a picture of something fish-like, with the word “MAW” in big, bold letters across the top.

“Always the same time, never the same place, all-you-can-eat ocean vessel experience,” Mono read out loud with some difficulty, “all-you-can-eat! Six, look at this!”

He rushed over to her, paper in hand. She took hold of the paper, reading it over herself, flipping the page where three words were scrawled in black ink.

East Coast Harbour.

“East… Coast… Harbour?” She read, eyes squinting at the near illegible handwriting. “East coast? That’s not far from here.”

“So that’s where we’ll go!” Mono suggested excitedly, bouncing on the balls of his feet.

“What?!” Six exclaimed in shock.

“We’ll go to The Maw! There’ll be an endless supply of food, we’ll be far away from the shore and the city, it’s perfect!” He paced back and forth, getting more animated as his plan fell into place. Six wasn’t so sure, waving her hands out frantically to grasp his attention.

“Woah, Woah. Hang on, let’s think this through-”

“What is there to think through?” He argued.

“The fact that The Maw is an Adult experience, if we sneak onto that boat and get found out, we’ll be killed. You’ve heard the stories just as much as I have, no kid who boards The Maw escapes.” Six didn’t have to mention what kind of food was on the menu, they both knew very well what happens to the kids who are found in the bowels of The Maw. The Janitor was blind, not stupid.

“But don’t kids get shipped out there all the time?”

“Yeah, dying kids.”

A silence was drawn between them. They weren’t going to come to an agreement on this so instead, Six offered a compromise. Clearing her throat she wrung her hands together, speaking carefully now.

“Look, we don't even know if what just happened will happen again. We’ll move east anyway, no use staying in the city but let's keep The Maw as a last resort.”

“Fine, but I’m keeping an eye on you, and if I think your pain is getting worse we find a way to board The Maw. Deal?”

“Deal.”

It took them two weeks to get from the lonely little apartment in the city to the coastline and along their travels, she’d managed to find a paper bag to replace the one Mono gave up to fight The Thin Man, she’d been keeping an eye out after he’d told the story to her, how terrified and powerless he’d felt, she took it upon herself to find a replacement as he cycled through the growing hat collection he had stowed away in his coat. Mono was ecstatic when she gave it to him, quickly but carefully tearing out some eye holes and modelling his look.

“How do I look?” He giggled, Six smiled reaching forward to adjust the bag a little bit.

“Perfect, it’s just like the one from before!” Mono gave a silly bow at her acceptance, the pair laughing at his antics, he pulled the bag off, however, folding it up and putting it away. Six’s expression was puzzled.

“You know what I look like, and you don’t think I look strange so I don’t have to wear it around you,” Mono’s genuine grin made Six’s chest warm, happy that her friend felt more confident with her around, “I’ll hang on to it though, it’s a gift from you so it’s even more special!”

And things were good for a while, scavenging for food, finding safe shelter to sleep in, exploring all manner of abandoned buildings, that was until Six’s condition started to worsen.

They dubbed the pain and aggression she’d been exhibiting Hunger Pangs or more simply Hunger. It had started small, almost nonexistent at first, easily satiated by scavenging for food scraps but by the end of the first week Six had started becoming more aggressive than normal, often turning on Mono when he tried to help. He knew not to take it personally, that she wasn’t well, that she was in pain, but that didn’t stop his feelings from getting hurt when she lost her temper or pushed him over.

By the end of the second week, however, Six had developed a fever. She ignored the burning of her skin initially, making it to the harbour, whether they decided to try and board The Maw or not, was the most important thing.

She did not account for how awful it would feel to push her body to its limit to manage that feat, and one evening, as she and Mono were walking through a back alley, she collapsed. Waking up inside a building, with Mono fretting over her, her memory had been spotty as the fever set in, making her delirious. She tried to use what little strength she had to fight Mono as he tried to remove her layers in hopes of cooling her down, the ordeal ending in her sleeping fitfully with her blue cardigan resting under her head and her yellow raincoat draped over her lower body.

Mono chanced a look through the kitchen cabinets in the other room, finding a couple of cans of soup. He wasn’t able to warm them up, the oven unit being too big to use on his own. He was just relieved that the cans had pull tabs.

Despite her hunger, he found it impossible to feed her. She wasn’t really awake enough to eat but they’d gone so long without anything he wasn’t sure what else could be the cause of her sudden illness, it was hours before her fever came down enough for her to be lucid, Mono hadn’t slept a wink, terrified that a stray Viewer might find them.

“Six? Are you awake?” He wondered as he stroked her bangs away from her sweaty forehead, she made a small noise but didn’t say anything else. “You don’t have to worry about anything at all! I’m gonna take really good care of you, before you know it you’ll be back on your feet and we can get onto The Maw and you’ll never have to go hungry again.”

Mono worries his bottom lip at her lack of response, her breath was shallow too and something about that made him worried, but he wasn’t sure why.

“You know I’m really worried about you, when you fell down outside I thought you’d died, and it was so hard to drag you in here. I didn’t realise how heavy sleeping people are.” He paused. “You are just sleeping, right? ‘Cause if you’re just sleeping, it’ll be okay! And I’m your best friend, you can tell me anything you want. So if it’s bad you can tell me.”

Mono curled in close to Six, letting her rest her head on his chest. Continuing to comb his fingers through her damp hair.

“Yeah, you’ll tell me.”

Next Chapter

[dragonturtle2]

(TOH S2e12) Why do Luz and Lilith do nothing to stop Philip?

Why not return the moon discus, so that this blatant murderer doesn’t walk away from this with exactly what he WANTS? There’s so many options in that moment to undo at least SOME the damage. Or they could hold it ransom, and exchange information on the portal. There’s nothing stopping them from doing anything. Lilith just gets in one satisfying punch, an internet reference… And then for some reason they just leave.  Nothing is done in response.  As if the punch resolved things. 

The argument they’re trying to preserve a timeline doesn’t add up at all. They’ve already failed at non-interference when they stopped him from getting beaten up and his journal torched. Luz hasn’t even been able to listen to the entire journal, and by this point she knows it’s filled with blatant lies anyhow. Particularly about what happened to his “companions.” So even if she decides to haul Philip back to Ye Olde Bonesborough to stand trial, she has plenty of logical leeway to set back his plans. But even without that… I don’t see Luz as someone who would set murderers loose on the world, even if it would jeopardize her ability to return to Earth, or violate any cosmic ‘rule.’  Because that was the basis for her tragic sacrificial gambit at the end of Season 1!

I really, really hesitate to use the term “plot hole.” Partly because it’s been overused, and mainly because it’s association with bad faith or dumb critiques/rants. A lot of times that term “plot hole” is applied leaps in logic made for the sake of entertaining the audience. Like an extensive action sequence, with 10 minutes of martial arts instead of someone just ending it with a bullet (most of my fave franchises rely on this). Maybe a ton of unrelated events lining up to make an intricate plan come together. Or just a stroke of luck so a protagonist can make it out of a situation without death or dismemberment.

But this ending didn’t have any of that. When we leave the skull temple, we aren’t given a thought-out escape from Philip (even though he has impressive power), no conniving deception, and not even a brainless chase sequence that’s at least fun. Lilith and Luz are just artificially lackadaisical, suddenly dumbed-down. It certainly wasn’t because they were feeling forgiving of the jerk.

Or if the time and animation budget is too tight, just have Lulu or Luz go, “Crud, we need to head back to the portal now before high tide!” Even though that last option might have costs us a bannister joke… Which I could live with. I thought this episode tried a bit too hard to sell the “dorky neeeerd” aspect to Lilith. Any of her feelings about her past misdeeds, loss of status, or living adjustments to a major disability, aren’t framed beyond something to chortle at. But that’s a rant blog for another day.

[pochapal]

I hate doctor 11 but ive never been able to explain why in like words lmao. He feels like such a mary sue character imo and like theres something about his characterisation that was always just really ineffective (like the stuff about fishfingers and custard or whatever it was). Imo i'd love to hear you give top 5 worst things about the 11 era because i rlly just love when it gets torn apart

i hold nothing but a seething contempt and loathing for that man. every time he appeared on screen i felt ready to snap like a riled up chimpanzee in my enclosure. i am frothing at the mouth and overcome with a desire to start flinging heavy objects. this might be incoherent and inconsistent but i started this rewatch in feb 2020 and only finished this week so i got through 11′s episodes last august/september time and i refuse to revisit it to jog my memory or fact check anything i’m saying here because this man does not deserve the space in my mind for that.

the first thing is i can’t fucking STAND the quirky whimsy timey wimey bit he has going on all of the time. i can’t even say this is because this is a kids show and i was a teen and then adult when i first properly watched him but actually!! when i was eleven years old i’d sleep over at a friend’s house most weekends and it always coincided with the airing of a new season 5 episode and i remember we watched the finale with the dumb time hopping to get out of the box prison that was never explained and didn’t make sense and i thought at the time “this is really stupid”. and before that my only other doctor who exposure was watching the david tennant christmas specials with another friend and throughout childhood my only opinion on doctor who was “this is a tv show that is not for me but is one that all the boys i am friends with like so i will put up with it to maintain our friendships” but at least those episodes were both suspenseful and engaging enough to keep me watching all the way through. like who the fuck does an end of the world sci fi plot and approaches it with an “oopsy woopsy i am a funny little alien man who is going to stop you all by making you do a hecking silly” like it’s unneeded and self-parodies an already cheesy show to the point where it becomes unwatchable and makes it impossible to ever take this man seriously.

next thing that downright sucks ass so badly is the stupid fucking overwritten constantly escalating plotlines. like everything from season 5 up until his regeneration at the end of season 7 is meant to be this grand interconnected cosmic plot about how...the doctor trying to bring back his planet will end the universe or something so all the top powers across all of reality tried again and again to stop him from doing that except he doesn’t know what’s going on so he keeps thwarting these people who supposedly mean good?? i mean i sure don’t fucking know what they were trying to say!! like for some reason we never get the doctor suddenly becomes this superdemon that threatens everything so these people (whoever they are) decide to, in sequence: suck him through a time rift to erase him from existence, trap him in a prison and remake a universe without him, take his companion’s baby and turn her into a perfectly trained doctor killer, form two(!!) secret societies to hunt him throughout history that are only stopped by his companion splintering herself across his personal timeline to protect him, and repeatedly cause reality collapsing events because it’s a kinder outcome for the universe than what he will do. this grand and terrible event turns out to be...he spends a few hundred years chilling by a rift that leads to his home planet and protects a few generations of children from monsters which convinces them to give him infinite regeneration power then fuck off back to their pocket universe. and it’s like!! what is the point of anything that happens in this man’s era when everything is always “the darkest moment” or whatever the fuck!! i don’t care!! we never get a compelling reason to believe this bumbling clown of a man could ever be a universal threat!! the whole thing is so dumb i hate it!!!

thing number three i hate is how the eleventh doctor is ALSO characterised as this abrasive egotistic male supergenius to the point where he becomes genuinely indistinguishable from bbc sherlock. genuinely who enjoyed seeing this guy constantly tell people their tiny human minds can’t comprehend what he’s doing and then basically just wave his magic wand to solve whatever problem each episode is facing. 2012 is the year of human sin because this fucking shitsmear character archetype somehow became both a redditor role model AND a tumblr sexyman and it’s like!! nobody is enjoying this stop making this seem cool! him saying timey wimey thing any time he does anything is frustrating and dumb and locks the viewer out of giving a fuck about anything that is happening! smartest man in the room syndrome is a disease and the eleventh doctor is terminal with it. like remember how they established river as an accomplished scientist (when she wasn’t being a child soldier or a time paradox or whatever the fuck) and every time that came up mr doctor eleven man was like “oh this thing is obvious because i’m a genius and you didn’t realise because your brain is tiny so get out of the way and let the grownups think” or that time it turned out amy had been replaced with a slime clone for half the season and the doctor chewed rory (audience surrogate) out for somehow not realising this fact we didn’t know right from the start and like. this served no purpose other than to draw into severe question why the doctor is also this super beloved magical figure implicitly trusted by all children everywhere like. mr steven moffat is totally allergic to writing and solving mysteries in his tv show and fuck you for wanting to figure things out as you go along based on the new evidence you uncover at strategic plot intervals just let this asshole man use magical thinking to reveal he knew the answer all along and you’re a fucking idiot for not also realising this thing which had no basis or precedent anywhere else in the show.

speaking of dumb things let us not forget the absolute shitshow that was minority representation in this era. i’m not even talking about the low hanging fruit of how genuinely unironically sexist amy and clara were written where each episode moffat either seemed to loathe them or was incredibly horny over them and they had no character growth or arc or fucking anything. i’m talking about how fucking shit terrible the incidental representation was. god remember how every single fucking gay person who appeared in this era was written as one incredibly fucking stupid joke and how the women were all either sexy dominatrix, feeble girl in love, or Mother (or all three in some really terrible cases) and i’m not qualified to talk about this but also how incredibly white this era was and how on two separate occasions we had monarchs reimagined as sexy girlbosses with a gun played by black women who the doctor leched over. nothing about any of this was good ESPECIALLY coming off the back of rtd who was surprisingly forward thinking for 2005 and did a really good job of positing travel with the doctor as queer allegory. in comparison moffat gave us THE MOST heterosexual shlock i’ve ever had to endure. amy and rory could have been interesting characters were they not hemmed into this domestic bickering young straight married couple bullshit that was in no way changed or altered by traveling with the doctor except for the quasi incestuous river song reveal that was dumb and bad and stupid.

the last major mega gripe i have with the series is moffat’s fucking jingoistic boner for british military aesthetics. this carried over throughout his entire tenure as showrunner but was super terrible vomit inducing in eleven’s era. the unironic admiration for ww2 britain and winston churchill is downright wretched. are you incapable of telling a second world war story outside of churchill’s london and plucky blitz fighters. shit gives me hives so badly. and then!!! that weird church owned army that features in the future that end up being bad not for the concept of what basically amounts to an imperialistic intergalactic rendition of the fucking crusades but because they’re part of the nonsense go nowhere puzzlebox narrative that says the doctor is a not good man who will do bad things to the universe :(. remember how rtd’s doctor was a freshly traumatised man hot off the war criminal press who time and time again vehemently refuses to engage in military violence, but who tragically inadvertently turns every one of his companions into soldiers in his own personal army, and he has this moment of complete horror at the realisation and it is this which causes the downward spiral that ends in 10′s regeneration. and then how there’s this cringe line about how there’s a force of people who are “the doctor’s army, always ready to fight his battles when he’s not around” or some shit and then it turns out this is actually massive literal military operation and we’re meant to celebrate this. fuck off.

bonus round because this needs to be said but i have never hated anything like i hated that fucking human tardis episode. everything about it induced violent anger in me from the sickening overindulgence of that softgoth dark whimsy helena bonham carter tim burton aesthetic to the bafflingly terrible evil carny stereotype of those junk scavengers to the overblown sudden tragic shipbait romance of human tardis and the doctor. every word out of her mouth was trite shit and the fact that the death of her body was presented as this super emotional dramatic scene despite there being no buy in or incentive to care and the fact that every single person on tumblr in 2012 ate that shit up like it was fucking gourmet. i loathe every single thing about that episode so much.

[aion-rsa]

Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings: What the Post Credits Scenes Mean for the MCU’s Future

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The following article contains spoilers for Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings.

With Black Widow set largely in the past, Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings is technically the feature film kickoff to Phase 4 of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. With the exception of the end credits scenes, it’s the first Phase 4 feature set in the aftermath of the Thanos Snap or Blip, and it introduces a set of characters and a region of the MCU that we have not yet explored.

But like every Marvel movie, Shang-Chi also includes two scenes at the end — one in the middle of the credits, and one at the tail — and unusually, both offer important and possibly critical information for the future of the MCU. Often the very last scene tends to be a joke or a sight gag of some kind; that’s not the case this time.

While the last scene at the very end of the movie does hold some interesting implications of its own, it frankly doesn’t loom as large as the mid-credits sequence. We’ll get to that second one a little later. Right now, let’s examine the mid-credits sequence and what it could mean. And remember, we’re in spoiler territory from here on out!

Marvel Studios

The Mid-Credits Sequence

Halfway through the end credits of Shang-Chi, we fade into a room in what could be Doctor Strange’s Sanctum Sanctorum. Present in person are Shang-Chi (Simu Liu), his friend Katy (Awkwafina), and Wong (Benedict Wong). Present via holographic image are Carol Danvers/Captain Marvel (Brie Larson) and Dr. Bruce Banner (Mark Ruffalo) — although notably, Banner appears in his original form and not as the Smart Hulk hybrid he became prior to Avengers: Endgame, although his arm is still in a sling after it was fried pretty much to a crisp when he activated the Infinity Gauntlet. What happened to Smart Hulk? Can Banner change back at will or did something happen?

In any case, all five are in a circle studying the Ten Rings, which are floating in the air between them. Although Shang-Chi remarks that his father has been using them for a thousand years, Bruce says that their power signature indicates that they could be much, much older. What’s even more interesting is that the same power signature generated by the Rings looks a lot like the multiverse — the same jagged, interweaving, branching labyrinth of ever-expanding and twisting lines that we last saw at the end of the Disney+ series Loki — as explained to Loki and Sylvie by He Who Remains in that show’s season finale.

But wait, there’s one final revelation: there’s a signal or beacon of some kind coming from within the Ten Rings themselves — a signal of unknown origin.

Captain Marvel has to excuse herself and leaves, saying that Bruce has her number if she’s needed (he doesn’t). The other four are about to leave as well — but then in what does amount to a classic MCU end credits joke, Shang-Chi and Katy manage to lure Wong out for a night of karaoke instead of standing around wondering what all this means.

They’ll leave that to us.

Marvel Studios

Who or what is sending that signal?

If the Ten Rings is connected to the multiverse, then the signal could be coming from any one of the many different universes we saw forming at the end of Loki. It could also be coming from the Quantum Realm, which is clearly part of our universe.

How the Quantum Realm connects to the rest of the multiverse is a question that’s yet to be answered. But since we also know that some variant of He Who Remains, possibly the version known as Kang the Conqueror, is slated to show up in Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania, there’s almost no doubt that the multiverse and the Quantum Realm are intertwined — does the Quantum Realm act almost as a secret subway between universes?

But we’re getting ahead of ourselves. Is the beacon a greeting? A warning? A distress signal? Unknown. But there are possibilities of who or what could be sending it:

Kang/He Who Remains

While the version we met in Loki (played by Jonathan Majors) was a somewhat benign madman/dictator, intent on controlling the flow of events in our universe to prevent it from splintering into the multiverse, we know that there are other, more hostile variants out there, most notably Kang the Conqueror. 

And based on the ending of Loki, we know that there’s at least one universe in which Kang reigns supreme. Could Kang be sending out the signal as a way to lure others to his universe and entrap them? Or is a variant trying to warn others away from Kang’s dominion?

Read more

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Who is Kang the Conqueror? Powers and Marvel Comics History Explained

By Jim Dandeneau

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Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings Review

By Bernard Boo

The Beyonder

Many casual MCU fans may react to this with “Who?” But hear us out. The Beyonder was the antagonist behind the classic 1984 Marvel Comics arc known as Secret Wars, in which the character — an omnipotent entity that is actually the sentient remnants of an alternate dimension itself — creates a planet called Battleworld out of pieces of other worlds, kidnaps the heroes and villains of the Marvel Universe and sets them on Battleworld to fight, so it can observe and learn about the ongoing conflict between good and evil (think the old Star Trek episode, “The Savage Curtain”).

The Beyonder’s creator and Secret Wars writer Jim Shooter recently hinted that he had been approached by a legal eagle from Disney to discuss the use of certain characters, leading Shooter to believe that a Secret Wars movie in the MCU was almost inevitable. And let’s face it, it’s too good a concept not to use — especially if you can cross over villains and heroes from different universes.

So the Beyonder may be sending out that signal as a lure or trap. But here’s another theory: Marvel Studios often takes liberties with characters from the comics, sometimes combining aspects of two or more into a version expressly designed for the big screen. If Kang is supposed to be the Big Bad of Phase 4 (and perhaps even some of Phase 5), it’s not unreasonable that Marvel might graft some of the Beyonder’s powers and motivations onto him.

The Fantastic Four

We know that a new movie starring Marvel’s First Family is finally coming, this time from Marvel Studios itself. And we know that Reed Richards can find a way to travel between universes as well as through time. Plus in the comics at least, Kang is possibly a distant descendant of Richards. Since the MCU until now has given no indication that the Fantastic Four exists, could that signal be coming from a version of the Four that does exist in a different universe?

It’s long been suspected among fans that the Quantum Realm (in which signs of civilization have been glimpsed) could play an important role in the introduction of the Fantastic Four into the MCU. But that signal, generated either by the Ten Rings or from somewhere in the multiverse, could also be coming from them.

The Celestials (from Eternals)

With the mid-credits sequence indicating that the Ten Rings are much older than first thought, is it possible that they are actually technology created by the Celestials?

The Celestials, of course, have been around almost as long as the universe/multiverse itself, and have seeded countless worlds in the cosmos with life. On Earth, they created “normal” humans, as well as the Eternals and the Deviants, and return periodically — we’re talking time on a cosmic scale here — to see how their experiments are going.

What if the use of the Ten Rings activates the beacon and sends a signal to the Celestials that it’s time to come look in on their little planet-sized lab? The Celestials operate on such a vast span of time that even Wenwu using the Rings for a millennium would seem like minutes to them. With the ongoing conflict between the Eternals and the Deviants seemingly coming to the fore in this November’s Eternals movie, it seems likely that a Celestial will show up to sort things out. That Celestial might also be very interested in finding out why the Ten Rings have been activated.

Marvel Studios

The Post-Credits Sequence

This one is a lot simpler to explain. Although Wenwu is dead by the end of Shang-Chi, and Shang-Chi himself is off hobnobbing with some of the Avengers, Wenwu’s daughter and Shang-Chi’s sister Xialing (Meng’er Zhang) is seen taking full control of the Ten Rings and planning to keep the organization running — although whether she plans to use it for good or perhaps some more nefarious purposes remains to be seen (she is, after all, still her father’s daughter).

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

With a large number of now free agent Black Widows running around, and Sharon Carter/the Power Broker now operating her own agenda and unknown connections from within the CIA itself (at the end of The Falcon and the Winter Soldier), there is plenty of geopolitical action for the Ten Rings organization to get involved with. Perhaps we’ll see more of their exploits in an upcoming TV series or Captain America 4 — or maybe Shang-Chi 2. But they aren’t going anywhere.

Shang-Chi and the Legends of the Ten Rings is in theaters now.

The post Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings: What the Post Credits Scenes Mean for the MCU’s Future appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[michelles-garden-of-evil]

SP Influences: The Case of Charles Dexter Ward and The Haunted Palace

CONTENT WARNING FOR DISCUSSION OF RAPE (NOT JUST THE FANTASY METAPHOR KIND) AND SLAVERY. ALSO SPOILER WARNING FOR THE HAUNTED PALACE (1963), THE CASE OF CHARLES DEXTER WARD, AND BOTH THE FIRST AND FINAL ARC (INCLUDING THE ENDING) OF STRANGE PARADISE.

Although it never directly copied from other works, the 1969-70 soap opera Strange Paradise appears to have drawn inspiration from several classic works of Gothic fiction. Unlike its more famous cousin Dark Shadows (1966-71), which lifted most of its major plotlines from public-domain horror classics like Dracula and The Turn of the Screw with relatively few changes, the influence of other works on the plot and characters of Strange Paradise generally took a subtler form. Many of the early advertisements and articles promoting the serial compared its protagonist Jean Paul Desmond and villain Jacques Eloi des Mondes (both played by Colin Fox) to Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde from the Robert Louis Stevenson novel, but--as Curt Ladnier has pointed out--there are only superficial similarities between the plot of the serial’s Maljardin arc and The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, making the two works less similar than readers likely expected. Instead, the plot more closely resembles that of another, lesser-known story about a protagonist controlled by his evil counterpart: the 1963 Roger Corman/Vincent Price film The Haunted Palace, a loose adaptation of the H. P. Lovecraft novella The Case of Charles Dexter Ward.

The plot and characters of Strange Paradise have too much in common with those of The Haunted Palace to be mere coincidence. In particular, the character of Joseph Curwen and his characterization in the film strongly resemble the portrayal of Jacques Eloi des Mondes, enough to conclude that Curwen must have inspired his backstory and his interactions with the other characters. While it is likely that Lovecraft’s original 1927 novella The Case of Charles Dexter Ward also directly influenced the serial, there is stronger evidence for indirect influence by way of the film adaptation.

The Case of Charles Dexter Ward

The plot of The Case of Charles Dexter Ward shares a common theme with the Maljardin arc: the evil ancestor from the seventeenth century who returns from beyond the grave and assumes the identity of his lookalike descendant. In both cases, the ancestor was involved in the occult during his lifetime and reviled for his rumored diabolical activities. During his lifetime--which he used magic to prolong--Curwen practiced necromancy, tortured knowledge out of the people he resurrected before murdering them again, experimented on living people, and summoned the god Yog-Sothoth for assistance in his occult activities using spells from the Necronomicon. Two fellow warlocks named Simon Orne and Edward Hutchinson assisted him with his occult studies, and were both still alive when his descendant Charles Dexter Ward brought him back to life. In the early episodes of Strange Paradise’s Maljardin arc written by Ian Martin, Jacques is portrayed as the literal Devil: an accusation about which he often jokes. He has many supernatural abilities, including possession, manipulation of electricity, telekinesis, the ability to magically alter messages written in sand, and--most importantly--the ability to resurrect Jean Paul’s dead wife Erica (Tudi Wiggins), which is why he frees his spirit in the pilot. He has an interest in voodoo, although he himself does not appear to practice it and instead fears its power. Unlike Curwen, no accomplices of Jacques’ return from the dead in the Maljardin arc, although it is possible that Martin intended for the seventeenth-century witch Tarasca, an earlier incarnation of wealthy widow Elizabeth Marshall (Paisley Maxwell), to fulfill this role after possessing Elizabeth.[1]

But these occult matters are not the only common interest that Joseph Curwen and Jacques Eloi des Mondes share. Both character were involved in the more earthly evils of the slave trade. A merchant by trade, Curwen also bought and sold slaves, importing enormous numbers of enslaved people from Guinea into his hometown of Providence, Rhode Island in 1766. He sold few of them, however, and Lovecraft heavily implies that he used most of them in his experiments. The televised version of Strange Paradise never explicitly references slavery (although Jean Paul’s immortal servants Raxl (Cosette Lee) and Quito (Kurt Schiegl) are implied to be Jacques’ former slaves), but the non-canonical book series by Dorothy Daniels does on occasion. In the second book Island of Evil, Jean Paul lists “black gold, another name for the importation of slaves” along with piracy and brigandage as one of the sources of the des Mondes’ family fortune.[2] A flashback sequence in Island of Evil confirms the past enslavement of Raxl and Quito, as well as an African voodoo priest whom Jacques forces to turn Quito into a zombie: the closest event in the Strange Paradise expanded universe to Curwen’s experiments.

Both Jacques and Curwen also met their ends at the hands of locals. In The Case of Charles Dexter Ward, Ezra Weeden begins spying on Curwen because he suspects him of illegal activities including witchcraft. Eventually, he turns most of the prominent figures in Providence society against him and they band together to raid and destroy Curwen’s Pawtuxet farm. During the raid, Curwen dies for the first time, but only after devising a spell for his future resurrection. Likewise, in Strange Paradise, Jacques dies after the natives of Maljardin turn against him, although the trigger and cause of his death are different. When Jacques murders his wife, the princess Huaco, by pushing her off the island’s cliff, a group of natives including Raxl and the Conjure Man band together to kill Jacques using a conjure (voodoo) doll and silver pin. These weapons curse Jacques to throw himself from the cliff and keep his spirit "shackled to the Temple [of the Serpent, Raxl’s god]” until the day he tricks his descendant Jean Paul Desmond into removing the pin from the doll, thereby setting him free.

Jacques’ disappearing portrait from Strange Paradise Episode 12.

Also significantly, both The Case of Charles Dexter Ward and Strange Paradise give the evil ancestor’s portrait a prominent role in the plot. In both cases, this portrait hangs at the ancestor’s former residence and disappears either temporarily or permanently when he takes control of the man who resembles him. When Charles Dexter Ward is researching the history of Joseph Curwen, his sources lead him to an eighteenth-century townhouse at Orney Court in Ward’s hometown of Providence, Rhode Island, where Curwen settled after fleeing Salem, Massachusetts. He hires a restorator to restore the painting, has it moved to his study, and discovers some documents of Curwen’s hidden in the wall behind it. When he finally succeeds in resurrecting Curwen, the painting disintegrates into dust: an end which Curwen himself later meets. On Strange Paradise, Jacques’ oil painting sometimes disappears when he possesses Jean Paul, but the show is inconsistent about this cue from episode to episode.[3] In contrast to Curwen’s painting, Jacques’ portrait always returns after he leaves Jean Paul’s body and appears to be indestructible: when Jean Paul sets fire to Maljardin in Episode 65, the portrait survives and later re-appears in the attic at Jean Paul’s childhood home Desmond Hall in Episode 131.

In spite of these similarities, I should note that the method of resurrection differs from one work to the other. In Strange Paradise, Jacques achieves this by possessing Jean Paul: after Jean Paul frees him by removing the silver pin from the head of his effigy, Jacques’ spirit can enter and exit Jean Paul’s body at will. In The Case of Charles Dexter Ward, the title character literally resurrects Curwen, his great-great-great-grandfather, using his essential salts, after which Curwen murders him. Ward behaves as though Curwen has possessed him--he has the speech and manners of a man of the colonial period and knows extremely specific details about the history of Providence--but the pit above his right eye which Ward did not previously possess and the lack of the olive birthmark on Ward’s hip indicate a different body. When Jean Paul opens his casket in the pilot, he finds only the conjure doll and silver pin; the absence of Jacques’ body is never explained and could be for any number of reasons, which we shall not discuss here.

The Haunted Palace

A lobby card for The Haunted Palace asking the question, “What was the terrifying thing in the PIT that wanted women?” (Source)

In 1963, American International Pictures released The Haunted Palace, a loose adaptation of The Case of Charles Dexter Ward written by Charles Beaumont and directed by Roger Corman. Due to alleged executive meddling (a theme which should already be familiar to regular readers of this blog), the film was marketed as an adaptation of the Edgar Allan Poe poem of the same name, which Vincent Price quotes throughout the film. In the adaptation process, Beaumont made many changes to the source material, the most notable of which was the decision to have Curwen breed human women with the elder god Yog-Sothoth, as alluded to on the lobby card above.[4]

Though an entertaining and visually enthralling film, most of the changes made to The Haunted Palace weaken the plot. In my opinion, Beaumont added too many Hollywood horror conventions during the adaptation process, which did not always work effectively considering the unconventional source material, not to mention left many plot holes unfilled. The dated and sleazy sexual angle which he added to the film makes the cosmic horror of Yog-Sothoth less cosmic and more carnal; whether this makes him more or less frightening depends on one’s personal opinion, but I feel it contradicts his otherworldly characterization in Lovecraft’s works. For the most part, the talents of the director and the actors (especially Price, who is fabulous as always) make up for these problems, but I prefer--and highly recommend--the far more faithful radio drama adaptation by the H. P. Lovecraft Historical Society.

The most notable influence of The Haunted Palace on Strange Paradise comes from its characterizations of Charles Dexter Ward and Joseph Curwen. Despite many similarities with The Case of Charles Dexter Ward, the characterizations of both Jean Paul Desmond and Jacques Eloi des Mondes owe far more to the portrayals of the protagonist and villain in the The Haunted Palace than in its source material. In The Case of Charles Dexter Ward, neither Ward nor Curwen shows any romantic or sexual interest in women whatsoever.  Lovecraft’s Ward only cares about antiquities, the local history of Providence, and the story of his ancestor; at twenty-six, he is unmarried and either asexual or simply too absorbed in his studies to pursue any romantic or sexual partner. The sexual orientation of Lovecraft’s Curwen is just as much of a mystery: although he took Eliza Tillinghast as a wife during his lifetime and their union produced a daughter, theirs was an arranged marriage for the sake of elevating Curwen’s social status within Providence society.

Both Price’s Ward and his Curwen, in contrast, show a marked interest in women. While their marriage is never outright stated to be a love match, Ward and his wife Ann (Debra Paget) appear to feel mutual love and devotion and have enough chemistry to imply a mutual sexual attraction. Like a dark mirror of Ward, Curwen shows a marked interest in the sexual and sexualized domination of women. In The Haunted Palace, the people of Arkham consider him a threat primarily because he lures local women to his palace to use in his rituals. While possessing Ward, Price’s Curwen rapes Ann--whom he later offers to Yog-Sothoth as well--and resurrects his former mistress, Hester Tillinghast (Cathie Merchant), who assists him in his sorcery in the film’s climax. If Lovecraft’s Curwen never did any similar actions, he does not mention them in his novella.

In Strange Paradise, romantic and sexual desire for women motivates both Jean Paul and Jacques. Jean Paul resurrects his ancestor neither out of an obsession with his history (as in The Case of Charles Dexter Ward) nor by accident (as in The Haunted Palace), but because Jacques’ spirit promises that, if the recently widowed Jean Paul frees him, he will restore life to his beloved wife Erica (Tudi Wiggins). Many episodes show Jean Paul mourning her death and narrating a tape-recorded journal to her, and he obsesses over protecting her cryogenically-preserved corpse from danger. Jacques romantically pursues several female characters over the course of the Maljardin arc--including Erica, her sister Dr. Alison Carr (Dawn Greenhalgh), and the wealthy widow Elizabeth Marshall (Paisley Maxwell) and her 20-year-old daughter Holly (Sylvia Feigel)--and makes many sexual innuendos about them. After resurrecting Erica, she obeys Jacques as though he were her husband and assists him by murdering most of the guests on Maljardin. This makes her character’s role comparable to that of Hester in The Haunted Palace.[5]

On a more superficial note, neither Jacques nor Curwen wears a costume appropriate to his era of origin. In his portrait and in flashbacks, Jacques wears a side-parted 1960s hairstyle and clothing, including a doublet and lace collar and cuffs, more appropriate for the 1630s than the late 17th century when he lived (1660-1689, according to the plaque beneath his portrait). Similarly out of place, Curwen has short hair and a beard and wears a historically inaccurate lace bib in his portrait and in the prologue at the beginning of the film. Unlike the others, this similarity is almost certainly coincidental.

An even greater similarity, however, can be found in the scene forty-five minutes into the film where Curwen speaks to Charles through his portrait.The scene occurs after the second instance of Curwen possessing him, during which he unearths Hester’s coffin and has his fellow warlocks Simon Orne (Lon Chaney, Jr.) and Jabez Hutchinson (Milton Parsons) deliver it to his cellar laboratory. Ann catches him down there and he sends her away, still possessed by Curwen. When Curwen leaves his body, they have this conversation:

JC: (from painting) "Charles Dexter Ward…" CDW: "Leave me alone! LEAVE ME ALONE!" JC: "I will never leave you alone. Your blood is my blood, your mind is my mind, your body is my body. It will do you no good to resist me. Your efforts grow weaker every day." CDW: "No! NO!" JC: "You cannot keep me out, Ward. My will is too strong." (he possesses Ward again) "Too strong for you, Ward. Too strong for you."

Similarly, most episodes from the Maljardin arc of Strange Paradise feature at least one scene where Jean Paul communicates with Jacques’ disembodied spirit, represented by his portrait. In some scenes, they use a shot of the portrait hanging in the Great Hall; other times, they superimpose Jacques’ painted face over that of his identical descendant. One of the earliest examples of Jacques referring to them as one comes in Episode 5, when he taunts Jean Paul about his attraction to Alison. “She’s so delectable a woman. How could I--you--we--ever resist or let her go?” he says, snickering throughout. During another such conversation in Episode 27, Jacques refers to Jean Paul’s body as “our body” and commands him to rest because he is tired. In still another scene ten episodes later, he complains to Jean Paul that he is “waiting for the use of our body” as Jean Paul begs him not to “enter”; the dialogue in the scene has undertones suggestive of fantasy-metaphor rape, which Jacques’ sickeningly sweet tone of voice underscores. These are only a handful of examples of the recurring theme of Jacques viewing Jean Paul’s body as his own and seeking to dominate it completely.

Comparison of a shot of Joseph Curwen glowering in front of his portrait with a similar one of Jean Paul glowering in front of the portrait of Jacques from Strange Paradise Episode 41.

Surprisingly, unlike in the novella, Curwen's portrait does not disintegrate when he possesses Ward. As Strange Paradise eventually started doing with Jacques’ portrait, Curwen’s portrait remains hanging until the end of the film, when it burns along with the rest of the palace (which begs the question of how it is even physically possible for stone to burn). Jacques’ portrait meets the same apparent end when Jean Paul sets fire to the château and flees Maljardin, but later returns to him at Desmond Hall, seemingly undamaged by the flames. It does not vanish for good until the final week of the show (Episodes 191-195), when a group of characters force him out of it by rubbing his brother’s ashes on his eyes and lips; this drives him out of the painting and into Jean Paul’s body, which he leaves at the end of the penultimate episode.[6]

Still another similarity comes from what is, in my opinion, Beaumont’s most ingenious change to the plot: the implication that all the human townspeople in 19th-century Arkham are reincarnations of identical people from the previous century, not just the necromancers. The same actors even portray their descendants: for example, Leo Gordon plays both Ezra and Edgar Weeden, and Frank Maxwell portrays both Dr. Marinus Willett and his ancestor Priam. Implied reincarnation figures heavily in the original outline for Strange Paradise, with Jean Paul, his sister-in-law Alison Carr, and the young heiress Holly Marshall all having dreams about previous lives on 17th-century Maljardin. Much like Jacques who possesses his descendant, Holly’s mother Elizabeth Marshall may have also been possessed by her previous incarnation, the native priestess Tarasca, under this outline, as foreshadowed in the clips in this video. The second Desmond Hall arc (Episodes 131-195), likewise, involves reincarnation from past ancestors (including the return of Jacques), but this final arc otherwise shares little in common with either The Case of Charles Dexter Ward or its adaptation.

Conclusion

There is strong evidence that Strange Paradise drew inspiration from both The Case of Charles Dexter Ward and The Haunted Palace for the story about Jean Paul Desmond’s possession by Jacques Eloi des Mondes. We see elements from both the book and its first film adaptation in the serial: Ian Martin’s characterization of Jacques, the possession, and the talking portrait owe more to the film, while the disappearing portrait and certain elements of Jacques’ backstory are more reminiscent of Lovecraft’s original novella. Despite this inspiration, Ian Martin added many other elements to the story of Maljardin that were not present in either work, including the conjure doll and silver pin, the strange circumstances surrounding Erica’s death, and secondary protagonist Holly’s pursuit by several male characters and victimization by a mysterious spirit. The result is a serial combining the plots of The Case of Charles Dexter Ward and its adaptation with original ideas to create a unique and--yes--strange new story.

Notes

[1] For more information on the aborted Tarasca storyline, see “The Secret of Tarasca“ and the section of my review of Episode 40 titled “The Lost Episode 40.”

[2] Dorothy Daniels, Island of Evil (New York: Paperback Library, 1970), p. 45.

[3] The Paperback Library novels do not just portray this consistently, but portray the other characters as seeing an empty frame while Jacques is controlling Jean Paul’s body. See also my review of Episode 15.

[4] For an in-depth plot comparison, see the blog post “The Films of Charles Dexter Ward” by Fake Geek Boy.

[5] According to an early newspaper summary for Episode 35, Tarasca would have endangered the life of Jean Paul’s love interest Alison, also shows some signs of possible influence by this subplot. See also this video.

[6] Many of the events of the final month of Strange Paradise are unclear and/or unexplained, so this interpretation should be taken with a grain of salt.

[wanna-hear-a-joke]

Am I really writing out Joker Fan Theories at 5am

Yep! It's 5:30 in the goddamn morning and I really can't believe I'm writing Joker fan theory based on my psychological breakdown of the character, I really can't, but I just watched it again and I don't think I'll be able to sleep unless I do. I must exorcise the demons.

[ Disclaimer: this is just my personal interpretation, not what I am claiming the filmmakers ‘actually’ intended or not. ]

in short: 1. Arthur's “condition” (pseudobulbar affect) is real.  2. Most of what happens is real - and Arthur can (somewhat) tell. 3. Arthur did not kill Sophie. 4. Arthur did not kill his mother to get revenge. CLICK READ MORE 2 LEARN WHY 😜

1. Arthur's “condition” (pseudobulbar affect) is real. This is one of the things that bothers me THE most, because websites like TV tropes have claimed it as fact that one of the "twists" is that he never really had a condition, just a sick sense of humor! I think this comes from taking what Arthur says in the hospital scene too literally. He does see the dark humor of his situation, but he is still beset by mental illness, trauma, and brain damage. He is very clearly laughing in anguish at the start, and part of what makes the ‘character arc’ satisfying (as tragic as it is) is he frees himself from what was causing that anguish. That’s what he means. As Joker, he no longer has any reason to feel afraid, nothing can hurt him anymore and he’s liberated himself from the pain/fear he experiences as Arthur- which is what triggers the laughter. Idk how so many people get this one wrong but it’s driving me nuts as someone who actually has dealt with PBA-like symptoms from PTSD. It’s real y’all and JP portrayed it with shocking accuracy.

2. Most of what happens is real - and Arthur can (somewhat) tell. It's meant to be ambiguous to the viewer, but with the exception of the first Murray Show scene and Arthur's fantasies about dating Sophie, everything else actually does happen. What Arthur’s fantasy sequences convey is a lonely man who is unable to connect with others and lives in daydreams to escape the pain of his dismal, dreary life. Arthur struggles with empathy and his fantasies are self-centered and distinctly themed around being cared for. He was raised by a mentally ill narcissist that he likely took care of from a young age, and clearly yearns for the kind of unconditional love a parent is meant to provide. It's how he copes with the lack of connection in his life. He’s checked out. Dissociated. Not to mention, in denial or unaware of how bad his trauma actually is. He is probably so used to living this way that he’s not fully aware of what he’s doing, but I maintain it’s not like, a fabricated hallucination.

Where the delusion comes in is... well, I don't think he knows how to read people and his judgement of situations seems to be pretty impaired. This is not the same as a Fight Club-esque scenario where he’s completely unaware of an elaborate hallucination, but a dissociated withdrawal where he passively engages with life while retreating to his mind and making up his own version of events.  For example, he sees Sophie give an half-hearted "yea ok buddy" smile in the hallway and thinks "oh she smiled, good, she thinks it's funny." The guys at work might anxiously laugh at his unnerving, dead-pan jokes and sarcastically say he's ready for the "big clubs," and he takes it at face value. People are laughing at his standup, so he must be killin it!

Did he wear cologne for a date he never went on? Yes, but I think it’s just as likely he put it on while getting ready, envisioning a date, and ran with that version of events because it’s preferable to reality. He may even feel pressure to impress his mom and “prove” himself as a man to her by claiming he went on a date as a sort of rite of passage.

3. Arthur did not kill Sophie. Arthur visits Sophie's apartment in a last-ditch effort to find comfort. With his mother in the hospital, his idealized father figure mocking him on national TV and being rejected from Wayne, he has nothing and no one to turn to. He's also just unearthed traumatic details from childhood that he'd probably much rather have kept buried. Sophie is his last thread of hope at this point. I'm sure Arthur had a version in his head of how this would go- perhaps rehearsed many times over. He runs his fingers over furniture in the apartment as if he's thinking "so this is what it’s like," comparing it to the fantasies he's constructed (much like he later does on the Murray show) but his expectations are shattered the moment Sophie reacts in fear. I really don’t think he’s thinking “but what about all those dates we went on?” more like “oh this is where she was supposed to ask if I’m ok... shit, better do the finger gun she laughed at that before.” Because of his struggle with empathy he couldn’t have anticipated how she might react to a strange man in her apartment. To be honest, my best guess is that he just left feeling upset, confused and embarrassed. We don’t see Sophie again because we don’t need to, his “last hope” for a loving human connection was a farce. (also logically it just does not fit with the timeline of everything else imo- he would have been 100% caught; the sirens in the scene afterwards are either to draw parallels to his mother or further illustrate Gotham as a crime-ridden shithole)

4. Arthur did not kill his mother to get revenge. While he very clearly harbors resent towards her, I believe his main motivation for killing her was his plan to kill himself on TV- he needed to do this to grant himself the freedom to carry through with it. It’s more symbolic to him, is what I’m saying. I wouldn’t call it a mercy killing (idk if he’s capable of the type of empathy to consider that), but he no longer sees their situation improving and he no longer takes pride in being her caretaker after learning the ‘truth.’ He sees his life as one big cosmic joke, and this act fully frees him to get to the “punchline,” all former attachments to his life as Arthur as now severed and he’s got nothing left to lose. This would not have been possible had he left her alive. In addition to this, and... I can’t believe I have to write this out, but everything that happened at Arkham is real. The file is real. The criminal neglect and abuse Arthur faced was real and so horrific it was headline-worthy. When he is seen in the “flashback” sequence, all that’s communicating is his imagining of how his mother’s time at Arkham went down, it may even give some context for how he viewed her as a child. Whether or not Arthur is actually Wayne’s son is deliberately very ambiguous but I personally believe that he is.

[ambitionsource]

AMBITION Season 2 ♫ “We’ll Be the Stars” [ 2.11 ]

CREATED BY Esther (rapunzles) & Maggie (quincywillows) || S2 Tag || Official Page

A NIGHT TO REMEMBER – Tensions are set aside in honor of a promenade, and some students opt for a change of pace. A clever ruse forces Eric and Jack to team up. Unfortunate circumstances make for odd couples, but stars always know where they’re supposed to go in the end.

66 Minutes (18K words) || No content warnings apply.

[ ← Rarely Pure and Never Simple ] [ S2 Synopsis ] [ Final Run → ]

( Follow along with the music on Spotify here! )

INT. AAA - DAY

A series of shots guide us into the episode, displaying the school in the midst of preparing for promenade. Banners are hung, student council members work the ticket booth. The halls are decorated according to the theme, “We’ll Be the Stars,” small stars seemingly glittering on every visible surface. A promposal wraps up in the hall outside the auditorium, senior students applauding and cheering as the girl says yes and the other girl wraps her in a tight hug.

Yes, it’s prom time at Adams Academy for the Arts. Let the insanity commence!

INT. AAA - HALLWAY - DAY

FARKLE MINKUS opens his locker. We’re looking at him from the inside, giving us a look at it as he rearranges some things. Its decor has been updated after a long detour of being trapped in sophomore year -- there are fewer photos, but they are newer and more representative of the way things actually are now. A couple photos of him and Maya are the focal point, but there’s a few scattered notable mentions. A photograph of the full Junior A Class; a picture of his whole family; a rare capture of him and Isadora.

From outside the confines of the locker, we hear RILEY MATTHEWS speak.

Riley: And you’re sure you can handle it? I’m sure if you wanted, we could work out something else --

Perspective shifts back to its usual framing, showing the two of them hanging by his locker. Farkle stems her worrying from the start, holding up a hand.

Farkle: I’m going to stop you right there, Riley. Do you know what you’re doing to me right now?

Riley: … demonstrating concern as a good friend?

Farkle: You’re neuro-splaining me. [ off Riley’s expression ] I get it, you’re concerned about my health. Mentally, above all else.

Riley makes a face, obviously not sold on the concept of “neuro-splaining.” As if she hasn’t had her own mental health experiences… but she figures it’s not worth the argument.

Farkle: But trust me, as much as I appreciate it, I will be fine. [ a beat ] I don’t want to miss out on anything else essential to my junior year experience, and prom is one of those things. Not to mention, I certainly won’t be able to graciously receive my prom king crown if I’m not there to accept it.

It’s clear he’s joking, although with his dry delivery… either way, he’s made up his mind. Farkle will be in attendance at the upcoming event, come hell or high water.

Farkle: Besides, it’s bold of you to assume I could avoid it anyway.

Riley: How come?

Farkle: Prom isn’t just an event around here. [ pointedly ] It’s a contagion.

As he closes his locker --

INT. AAA - CLASSROOM - DAY

For how alight with excitement the halls seem to be, classes are still in session and there’s still work to be done. The energy is tamped down in Cory’s classroom, where everyone is completing silent reading for the last few minutes of class.

Still, Farkle was right, and the junior class has been bitten by the prom bug. Everyone is jittery as they sit at their desks, unable to keep still. Under the desk, ZAY BABINEAUX taps his foot to an unheard rhythm. MAYA HART flips her pencil in her fingers, adding to the rhythm against her desk.

CHARLIE GARDNER glances up at the clock, impatiently watching the seconds go by. Tick, tick, tick… as the percussions slowly evolve into an actual beat...

Song Cue ♫ ♪ “You Should Be Dancing” as performed by Glee Cast || Performed by AAA Juniors

The bell rings about 7 seconds in, releasing the class from their academic torture. CORY MATTHEWS cringes as the energy in the room skyrockets, papers flying as the energetic juniors are free to succumb back into the groove.

Zay kicks off the vocals, the number staying in the classroom for the first verse as he volleys lyrics back and forth with Maya. As they escape into the halls…

INT. AAA - HALLWAY - DAY

Charlie takes over, leading the charge into the rest of the school. The three of them are the front of the pack, but they pick up other junior students as they go. The whole atmosphere of the halls has changed, feeling groovier in the midst of the twinkling stars and amped up music.

Around a minute and a half in, they pass by Riley and Farkle and pull them into the dance. The movements become less chaotic and more choreographed at that point, truly a spectacle only AAA could pull off.

As they pass by the techies hanging out on the stairs outside the auditorium, it seems even they aren’t immune to the allure of prom fever. They jump up and join in the parade, JEFF MONROE in particular worth spotlighting due to his breakdancing ability.

And away they go again…

INT. AAA - AUDITORIUM - DAY

By the time they make it into the auditorium and onto the stage, the vibe of their collective imagination has completely succumbed to fantasy. The stage is basically a disco floor as they dance their way up there, the only thing still remaining commonplace their outfits.

And by this point, they’ve paired off. Farkle and Zay stay front and center -- a fun little duo to witness tolerating each other again, if nothing else -- with Maya and ISADORA DE LA CRUZ to their left and Charlie and YINDRA AMINO to their right. In the back, ASHER GARCIA and DYLAN ORLANDO are grooving together, while Riley Matthews gets LUCAS JAMES FRIAR to at least do something.

As they finish out the jam, Farkle and Zay theatrically toss their heads back and raise a hand to the sky. Declarative, with a flourish, what a dynamite finish. One thing is essentially guaranteed on this prom week, that’s for sure.

There will be no shortage of drama.

Cue title sequence.

INT. AAA - HALLWAY - DAY

Zay is at his locker, swapping out his dance duffle for his classwork. When Maya practically jumps him and surprises him at his locker, he’s not fazed -- he might be the only student at AAA who she doesn’t strike instant fear into in one capacity or another.

Zay: What do you want, mini Britney?

Maya touches her hand to her chest, faux flattered.

Maya: You’re so sweet. I was just thinking that you and I have a real opportunity on our hands this week.

Zay: Must everything be about an “opportunity?”

Maya: Ugh, would you stop being such a damp toilette? Your mood has been totally subbasement the last couple of weeks and it’s really harshing the vibes.

Well, Maya, he did just break up with his boyfriend. But people not knowing about them was kind of sort of the whole problem, so he says nothing as he allows Maya the floor again.

Maya: Chin up, Zayby. It’s promenade. And you and I are going to come out of it as royalty.

Maya makes her grand pitch: they should go to prom together. Not out of any romantic interest -- although, as she admits, Zay is by far the most eligible male in the walls of AAA -- but because the two of them would be a shoo-in for junior prom king and queen if they team up.

And like everything else at Adams, there is an opportunity attached. Every year, the duos crowned as prom king and queen in both grades get to perform at graduation. It’s a time honored tradition, one that Maya believes they should not pass up.

Zay: I don’t really see what the big deal is.

Maya: Oh, Zay. Isaiah! Wake up! Snap out of whatever quarter-life crisis funk you’ve succumbed yourself into and smell the potential right in front of you! [ matter-of-factly ] You know that there are always college representatives at Triple A graduation. Of course, it’s to honor the students they’ll be bringing into their ranks, and to hopefully snag some quality time with a celebrity family member or two -- I mean, think how many people are going to be swarming our graduation next year when Valerie comes to support Isadora --

Zay, flatly: Yeah, I’m sure she’s so excited about that.

Maya: But it’s also to scout the next crop of graduates. That’s us. It’s almost cosmic that every junior prom king and queen end up going to amazing schools for the arts -- there was even that junior prom queen in ‘96 who got a straight up recording contract.

Zay: How the hell do you know this stuff?

Maya: Because I do my research, Zay. And I know you do, too. Which is why once you’ve shaken off the ennui and have your head back on straight -- or, bi, whatever -- you’ll realize we have prime real estate in front of us. And it’s ours to take… if we step up to the plate. [ backing away ] You know where to find me.

Well, that’s certainly a proposition. Maya floats away as Zay contemplates it, slinging his bag over his shoulder. It’s a good point, he can’t argue with that, and yet…

He glances to the photo of him and Charlie, still taped up in his locker innocuously amongst the rest. In some ways, it seems, it’s just hard to let go of the way you hoped things would be.

Zay closes his locker, heading on his way to rehearsal.

Dylan, pre-lap: We’ll boycott.

INT. AAA - TECHNICIAN’S BOOTH - DAY

Dylan and Asher are following Lucas into the booth, obviously in a heated discussion. Dylan continues to make bold declarations.

Dylan: We’ll stage a full-on protest. You know, when I was in middle school, I was renowned for my poster-making skills in environmental club. They usually lasted like, nine days longer than usual before people tore them down. And Cory is always saying how loud and annoying I am -- that has to be helpful for a protest, yeah?

Asher: He said that to you?

Lucas: Guys --

Dylan: Or even better --

Asher: I swear, I’m going to report him. Like, sorry Riley --

Dylan: Let’s stage a riot. That’ll really show ‘em! They think they can bar Lucas James Friar from prom? Not when we’re there to literally blow the roof off this place. I bet we can get Isadora to sing “Bad Reputation” -- I think we’d need music to be taken seriously here, so --

Lucas: Hey. Hello. Earth to Asher and Dylan. [ clapping ] Let’s cool it, alright?

Lucas waves off their concerns about his ban from prom. He doesn’t want them wasting energy on him when it hardly matters. All things considered, being barred from stuff like this for the rest of the year seems like the best he could’ve asked for given all the bullshit he’s done this year. He slouches into his rolling chair, shrugging.

Lucas: I mean, it’s not like I was really psyched to go anyway. I think I’m more lucky I didn’t get expelled.

Dylan, under his breath: Would’ve boycotted that too.

Lucas: You guys have been looking forward to this for the last three years. It would be stupid for you to blow it just for me. Especially when we consider everything else you’ve already sacrificed for me. Like your sanity. And your clean legal record.

Dylan: I wasn’t mad.

Lucas, bluntly: You should have been. Asher was, but then, he’s always been the smartest out of the three of us.

A beat of quiet as that truth lingers between them. Lucas reiterates the point -- that he doesn’t want them to give up something they care about just because of him. They do enough of that already. Asher and Dylan exchange a look.

Dylan, softer: … well, we love you, man.

Lucas: I know. [ looking at them, then slowly ] And I love you guys, too.

Well, there’s a breakthrough! Dylan beams, looking to Asher in excitement. Asher is smiling too, although a bit more bashful. Lucas elects to move past the vulnerability quickly -- he can give it, but only so much at a time.

Lucas: Which is why I’m not letting you do this. You’re going to prom, and you’ll have a great time without me. Besides, someone has to give whatever posh performers are gunning for prom court a run for their money.

True enough. In fact...

INT. AAA - AUDITORIUM - DAY

That’s exactly what the rest of the techies are discussing as they start doing end of year inventory. It’s a long process, so they have to start early. Rather, they’re complaining as Jeff and DAVE WILLIAMS pick their way through the furniture and wood supplies under the prop loft. NATE MARTINEZ is supposed to be taking notes, but he’s not doing a great job.

JADE BEAMON is seated on a stack of wood pieces, nodding along as she feverishly works on the finishing touches to a wardrobe piece. It doesn’t look like a costume for any sort of production, however…

Nate: It’s rigged, anyway. Every year the most popular performers win so it’s not like the institution means anything.

Jeff: Does prom court mean anything… anywhere? Ever?

Dave: My parents were prom queen and king when they were seniors. They got a free dinner at Waffle House.

Jade: [ tearing a thread with her teeth ] Sounds like a better prize than performing at graduation.

Inspired by their complaints, Nate lights up with an idea. He claims that they should start a new tradition to go with their holiday party, and should throw a techie pre-prom bash. That way they can celebrate their year together and have real fun before they have to go deal with the performers all night.

Jade: You know, I think that’s the first idea of yours I’ve liked in months.

Nate bows, then enthusiastically gives Dave a high-five.

Their tomfoolery is interrupted by Isadora entering, all of them growing uncertainly quiet. She hesitates but then marches onward anyway, greeting them with the best attitude she can muster. She just came by to drop off some paperwork for them -- she already went ahead and inventoried the wood and set building supplies. This is good, because Nate definitely wasn’t doing it.

Jeff accepts her record, looking it over.

Dave: When did you do that?

Isadora: Oh, I just skipped Matthews’ class. [ offhandedly ] I could ace that class with my eyes closed, so. And probably brain damage.

It’s a nice gesture, and they’re not going to refuse it. Jeff awkwardly thanks her, silence settling over them once again. Isadora clears her throat, clasping her hands together. She expresses that she knows she messed up with them, and she is going to put in the effort to get back in their good graces.

She spins and escorts herself out without waiting for a response, leaving the four of them to contemplate her promise. Interesting development…

Dave: So… we don’t have to count the wood?

INT. AAA - CAFETERIA - DAY

Charlie is having lunch with HALEY FISHER and CLARISSA CRUZ, although he doesn’t seem nearly as enthused about prom as they are. On the other side of the cafeteria, applause erupts again as another promposal between seniors gains public attention. So happy, so romantic!

Clarissa: I swear, nowhere in this school is safe right now.

Haley nudges Clarissa, claiming that she should be less cynical. It takes a lot of bravery to ask someone to prom in front of everyone else.

Clarissa: Yes, well, then they could just have a conversation about it. Or make a big deal about it, but like, between the two of you.

Haley: I think it’s romantic.

Clarissa: You think everything is romantic. You’re the most hopeless romantic I’ve ever met.

Haley: Charlie is too -- you agree with me, don’t you, Charlie?

In all honesty, Charlie was not listening. He blinks himself out of his daze, blankly agreeing with whatever Haley said. Clarissa rolls her eyes.

Haley goes to explain how much courage it takes to do such a public proposal. It demonstrates what you’re willing to go through for the other person, how much you like them. Charlie admits that it’s not exactly an act of bravery to ask someone who you know will say yes -- especially when there’s no stakes involved for either of you.

Haley: Well, there’s always stakes. You know, even if you think you know someone, they could always say no. And there’s a lot at stake with a rejection… you know, especially if it’s… [ looking at Charlie intently ] between good friends…

Whatever hint Haley is trying to lay down, it’s going right over Charlie’s head. He shrugs, claiming he might not even go to prom. He’s just... not feeling it this year. Haley is mortified, Clarissa looking between the two of them apprehensively. This seems like a recipe for disaster.

Meanwhile, the techies are enjoying lunch at their usual indoor table when NIGEL CHEY approaches. He greets them before turning his focus to Jade.

Nigel: … hey, Jade.

Jade, shy: … um, hi.

Nigel: I, uh… I just had a quick question. I was wondering if, uh --

All of the techie eyes are on him, making this whole situation a lot more intense. Dylan is watching with wide eyes, wondering if what he thinks is going to happen is about to happen. Jade might be holding her breath. Nigel pushes up his sleeves nervously, clearing his throat.

Jade: … yes?

Nigel: I was just… [ quickly ] I had a question about the costume you made for that number last week. It’s actually… it’s nothing, I’ll just ask you about it in class. Sorry, ha ha. Didn’t mean to interrupt.

Jade: … oh. Okay.

Clearly not what he actually intended to ask. Nigel backs off awkwardly, making a quick escape. Jade tries to hide her disappointment. Asher and Dylan exchange a look across the table, shaking their heads. Pathetic!

All of the missed prom-portunities are forgotten, however, as soon as Maya and Zay arrive to kick off their pronouncement of going together. Evidently Zay agreed, because here they go…

Song Cue ♫ ♪ “Greedy” as performed by Ariana Grande || Performed by Maya Hart & Zay Babineaux

It’s been a while since we’ve endured a good old disruption in the cafeteria during lunch hour, and this time Lucas is less likely to pull the fire alarm than ever. So Maya and Zay take full advantage of it, bringing up the energy with their talent and an undeniable bop.

They make a point of pulling other people into it at their tables, and of course, Maya is going to climb up onto the tables in her heeled boots. It’s not quite the same full-blown jam session as “Looking At Me” from earlier in the season, but people seem to be into it and in the general prom mood. Spirits are high!

Well, mostly. There is one pointed shot of Charlie forcing a smile as everyone else grooves along, likely wishing he could be anywhere else.

It’s not so much a promposal as it is… a spectacle, but boy, do they know how to put on a show… once they wrap, Maya makes the official statement that they’re campaigning for prom royalty, and if people have any taste, they sure know who to vote for come prom night.

Given how naturally glamorous the two of them are, up high on the table top and looking fresh as ever, it’s hard to argue with that!

INT. MATTHEWS APARTMENT - MASTER BEDROOM - NIGHT

Riley is hanging up her dress for prom, a classic and simple lavender floor-length number. She’s fretting over it as she vents to Maya, expressing that she’s still debating the whole upstate move thing Topanga has saddled her with.

Maya: Well, do you want to move?

Riley: I… it’s not that simple.

Maya: It should be. Either you want to go, or you don’t.

Riley: Yes, but… I mean… there’s lots to think about.

Maya: She said it was your choice.

Riley: Yeah, well, my mom says a lot of things she doesn’t mean, so…

Maya: Have you talked to Cory about it? He might have some insight. Or like, Eric?

Riley chews her lip, avoiding the question. Maya straightens up, asking if anybody knows about this potential move other than the two of them. Riley has plenty of excuses ready as to why she hasn’t mentioned it to anyone else, but Maya isn’t interested in hearing them. She claims she at least, at least, needs to tell Cory. He deserves to know, lest another life-changing thing get sprung on him with no warning.

Maya: Believe me, as the girl with no parents because of sudden life-altering moves, you owe him that decency.

Youch. Well, that’s tough to debate. Riley absorbs it, focusing back on her dress and smoothing it out nervously.

INT. GARDNER HOME - ROSIE’S ROOM - NIGHT

ROSIE GARDNER is chilling on her bed with her laptop, listening to pop music and humming to herself. Charlie comes and knocks on her door, pointedly until she takes out her earbuds.

Rosie: Ugh, yes? Can I help you?

Charlie: You’re so nice. How about, hey, Charlie? How was your day?

Rosie: I’m fourteen, I have the right to be obnoxious.

Charlie: I wouldn’t say it’s a right so much as an active choice.

Rosie groans, asking him what he even came in here for in the first place. He asks if she has anything going on this weekend -- perhaps they could go do something together. It’s been a minute since they did some brother-sister bonding.

Rosie: I dunno. I guess we could go see that new Chris Evans movie. I think it’s coming out next weekend, and I’m probably free Saturday --

Charlie: … well, I was thinking more this weekend. Specifically. Like not next weekend. This weekend.

Rosie: I know what this weekend means, weirdo. [ looking up movies ] Why are you so set on that? Isn’t it prom this weekend?

Charlie: … well, you know, it’s not a big deal. I was thinking I probably wouldn’t even go anyway, so.

Rosie, offended: Charlie! Ew, no, you can’t not go to prom. Don’t be lame, you’re embarrassing me.

Charlie, scoffing: This has nothing to do with you! You don’t even know anybody I go to school with.

Rosie: Yes, but by Gardner law, I’m associated. Just go with your friends! It does not have to be that deep.

Okay… fair point. Charlie questions if her blatant disgust means they’re not going to the movies, and she claims next week… after he doesn’t embarrass their family name by going to prom like everyone else. So much for finding a clever way out.

INT. AAA - JACK’S OFFICE - DAY

Speaking of clever escapes, JACK HUNTER is still struggling to find a way out of the Bradford debacle. So much to the point that he’s now elected to share the issue with Lucas, sitting opposite him with ERIC MATTHEWS as they get him up to speed.

It’s obviously not the kind of thing you want to hear. Lucas is hiding his head in his hands, cursing to himself before turning back to Jack.

Lucas: How long have you known about this?

Jack: … a couple months --

Lucas: Months?

Eric tries to keep stress levels at a manageable level, taking over for Jack in explaining exactly what the suit entails and what the Bradfords are hoping to gain from it. Essentially, they’re hoping that publicly printing Jack’s “questionable” enrollment processes will force his hand. Either he’ll cave and let her enroll regardless, or public dissent will push him to oust Lucas, making room for her in his vacant spot.

Jack, reassuringly: Which will not happen.

But for it to gain any traction, it needs to smell somewhat of a scandal (even if it isn’t) -- which is why they’ve targeted Lucas as their student to blame. They’ve obviously done their research. And between Lucas’s unique situation for enrollment, his lack of participation in the more showcased elements of the school, and his behavioral record…

Lucas, exasperated: I’m guessing stealing a car didn’t help!

Jack frowns. It’s clear he didn’t want to get Lucas involved if he could help it, and seeing this stressed reaction from him is exactly why. But Eric placates them both, reminding them that the fight isn’t over until it’s over. They will be able to brainstorm a way to fix this -- it’s just going to take a concerted effort.

Eric: We will be able to make this work. But it’s going to take a team effort, and total cooperation. You have to trust us, Lucas, and you have to be willing to cooperate. Can you do that? Can you work with us?

What a question, and posed to the notorious school troublemaker at that. But Lucas doesn’t want to leave AAA -- let alone be forced out. He sighs, tilting his head back and swallowing his pride before nodding.

Lucas: Okay. Yeah. [ serious ] Just tell me what to do.

He looks to Jack, meeting his eyes. Ready to do whatever it takes.

INT. AAA - HALLWAY - DAY

Charlie is at his locker, relaying the rejection by his own sister to Riley. She’s leaned back against the lockers, listening sympathetically as he points out another crappy addition to what has been a crappy last couple of weeks.

Along those lines, Riley questions if Charlie still thinks he might transfer to a different school. He hasn’t heard back from Haverford yet, but is he still seriously considering the notion?

Charlie, diplomatically: Given that Zay and I were able to lay everything out there and at least confront the reality of our situation, I don’t think it’s really a necessary maneuver anymore. I mean, the situation is far from ideal, but that I can deal with. I’ve been living in far from ideal my whole life.

Riley: Sad, but sort of inspiring, I guess.

Charlie: I will admit though… it was kind of nice, going through that whole process. Just going out there, you know, proving that I could do things. That I was capable. [ smiling to himself ] If anything, at least I came away with that.

Riley mirrors his smile. Then they’re back on the subject of prom, Charlie lamenting that he doesn’t see what the point is of going if he can’t be there with the person he would actually want to spend it with.

Riley: Considering my ideal date has literally been banned from all school activities and therefore can go nowhere near it, I think I can say I relate.

Charlie: Tragic.

Charlie mentions what his sister said about not making it that deep and just going with friends, and this seems to strike something in Riley. A smile drifts onto her face.

Charlie: Oh no. I know that look. What are you thinking?

Riley: Just that dear Rosamund might have a point. If we are going to be miserable and repressed all night long, then we should at least be miserable in good company.

Charlie: … I don’t know if I like where this is going…

Riley turns to face him, a mischievous smile on her face. She leans in conspiratorially -- her delivery would be more convincing though if she wasn’t so inherently cute.

Riley: Charlie Gardner! [ in a whisper ] Will you go to prom with me?

Charlie stares at her, expression betraying nothing. She matches his gaze, wiggling her eyebrows. Then he can’t help but crack a smile.

Charlie: Well when you look at me like that, how could I say no…

Riley grins, bouncing on her feet and lightly punching him on the shoulder.

INT. AAA - BLACK BOX THEATER - DAY

The first step to putting Lucas in less jeopardy -- actually participating in class. He’s meeting with HARPER BURGESS to discuss how to make his optics better in that regard. Unfortunately, there’s really only one thing he can do…

Harper: If you do even one performance, then at least you’d have something to point to if the case attempts to jump down your throat.

True. Although he looks like he’d rather die, Lucas reluctantly accepts that point. So it’s official -- he’ll be performing a number this week!

Harper: It’s for the best, actually. Everyone else is so consumed with prom fever, they won’t even remember it happened.

Zay: Are you kidding? It’s Lucas James Friar. No one is ever going to forget this.

Lucas: Yeah, um, [ pointing to Zay ] what is he doing here again?

Harper gestures Zay forward to join them. She explains that considering Lucas is literally starting from scratch, he’s going to need help when it comes to choreography. And singing. And well… basically all of it. She figured Zay is one of their best performers and far more willing to lend a hand than, say, Maya. If Lucas wants a chance of pulling off a decent performance, having his help would be his best bet.

Harper: That is, of course, if you’re up for it, Zay.

Zay: Honestly, I would welcome the distraction. It’s been… an interesting few weeks.

So that’s that. We’ve got the team, we’ve got the plan -- time to make shit happen! Even if it kills Lucas in the process. As the backbeat floats in…

INT. AAA - HALLWAY - DAY

Song Cue ♫ ♪ “I Think He Knows” as performed by Taylor Swift || Performed by Dylan Orlando (feat. Asher Garcia)

Two AMBITION firsts in one, as Dylan kicks off his first mostly solo performance by bringing Taylor Swift into the song catalogue. He starts off at his locker, giving us a glimpse into the interior which despite the mess is basically as bursting with love as he is -- full of photos of his friends, his family, and Asher.

Of course, there’s Asher.

And that’s what he’s focused on as he slides into the pre-chorus (“He’s got that boyish look that I like in a man, I am an architect I’m drawing up the plans”). When he sings “It’s like I’m seventeen nobody understands,” he sure means it, because he is seventeen, and nobody does understand. Whew, Taylor really just knows how to write ‘em!

Then he launches into dance, strutting his way down the halls with a definite spring in his step. It’s nowhere near as elaborate as performer choreography would be, but it’s charming and just sharp enough that it’s clear Dylan’s got some real talent.

INT. AAA - AUDITORIUM - DAY

Dylan takes the number into the auditorium, making his way over to the prop loft where he’s guaranteed to find Asher. There’s a brief sequence he basically serenades Asher from down below, scaling the fence around the set pieces until he convinces him to come down. The whole thing is dynamic and fun and a little bit theatrical, humoring their classmates as they watch from the stage before class.

On the bridge, Asher takes over the vocals, taking Dylan’s hand and leading him through the backstage areas. Dylan follows along happily, waiting until they’ve reached the other side of the stage to pull him back towards him. Asher presses their foreheads together (“Where we gonna go… I whisper in the dark… where we gonna go…”), then drifts away as Dylan belts out the note that throws us back into the chorus.

The final swell of the song takes place center stage, surrounded by classmates and with nothing but good energy. The techies are laughing along, cheering, and even the performers are enjoying the rendition. Dylan and Asher sway together in a circle with the beat, doing a final spin under Dylan’s arm before falling back together and breaking into laughter to take it home. The A class breaks into applause, Asher pulling Dylan down into a quick kiss.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how you prom-pose!

In the high energy after the performance, Nigel casts another glance towards Jade across the stage. It seems like he really might do something, and she definitely acknowledged his eye contact… but then nothing.

Isadora also notices the exchange, curiosity piqued. She raises her eyebrows, Sherlock brain turning before Maya pulls her into a conversation about how the twink performance was clearly not better than hers and Zay’s… right? Right?

INT. MATTHEWS APARTMENT - MASTER BEDROOM - NIGHT

Isadora brings up the notion while hanging out with Maya and Riley, the three of them spending an evening together to map out prom logistics. She questions if either of them noticed it too, or whether Nigel has ever even shown interest in their classmates before. Maya claims he’s never dated anyone in their class, and Riley states that maybe he’s just shy.

Maya scoffs, focused on painting her toenails a shiny silver.

Maya: Look, Nigel is lean meat. I mean, don’t get me wrong, he’s talented, but the boy has no moxy. He has let Farkle walk all over him for three years, when if he just put like, a crumb of effort in he may have already had a lead by this point.

Riley: You know, it could be that he just… doesn’t care that much.

Maya: Well that was his first mistake.

The point is, if Nigel does have interest in Jade -- which Maya doesn’t get, because she forgets who Jade is half the time -- then it’s more than likely he will do absolutely nothing about it.

Isadora: That’s too bad.

Maya: I mean… I guess.

Riley: Maybe they just want to go with their friends. Prom doesn’t have to be inherently romantic, you know. [ off Isadora’s nod ] I mean, I’m going with Charlie, and --

Maya: Wait. [ sitting up ] You and Charlie are going together?

Riley: Yeah. But, like, just as friends.

Maya: Oh… oh. That’s… interesting.

There’s a plot twist. If Riley’s unnerved by Maya’s tone, she has the right to be. It’s an odd moment, and it’s only subdued by Cory calling for the girls from the living room. There’s a surprise here for them!

INT. MATTHEWS APARTMENT - NIGHT

And what a surprise it is. Maya practically screams when she finds KATY HART in the living area, having just arrived with VALERIE DE LA CRUZ. She runs over and launches into her arms, the two of them hugging tightly.

Maya: Oh my God, what are you doing here?

Katy: Val helped me. Paid my way, so that I could be here for prom.

Isadora: No way?

Valerie: Oh, it was nothing. Hardly a penny out of my pocket. I know how much it meant to me to be here for this weekend -- figured the least I could do would be to allow a good friend the same opportunity.

Certainly no arguments here. Maya and Katy hug again, elated. Cory and Riley exchange smiles, Cory pulling her to his side and into a hug.

Valerie pulls Isadora aside, greeting her and stating that she wants to do something special after prom. Like a girls night, deglam and rejuvenate and catch up. Deglam being key, because Valerie knows Isadora is going to look stunning. She can’t wait!

Isadora is totally open to the idea. She nods, matching her enthusiasm.

INT. AAA - JACK’S OFFICE - DAY

Jack is at his desk, going through the Bradford paperwork. He’s flagging and highlighting every potential point he might have to refute in an argument, emails open on his desktop of pitches he’s going to send to school board members for support if the complaint breaks.

Eric pokes his head in and knocks on the door pointedly.

Eric: Knock knock.

Jack: Who’s there?

Eric: Stop obsessing.

Jack: Okay, we’re done with the bit --

Eric smiles, leaning against the doorframe. He knows Jack is concerned, but he’s already thought so extensively about this problem. He needs to take a mental break from it, before he burns himself out. Besides, there’s always the chance that it won’t even ever go public.

Yes, a chance… but a chance isn’t a guarantee. Jack claims he just wants to be prepared for the worst, which Eric can’t exactly argue against.

What he can do is change the subject. He states he wanted to double check that they’re both still on for chaperoning the dance on Saturday. Jack confirms, wondering why plans would have changed.

Eric: Well… you know, given your own personal circumstances, I just figured you might not want to --

Jack: Eric, I’m fine. [ with a shrug ] After all, what better distraction is there from the shambles of your personal life than watching out for a bunch of rowdy, dramatic teenagers all night long? Can’t think of anything better.

Eric: At least your humor is still intact.

Jack makes a face, accenting the point.

Zay, pre-lap: Okay, literally, what the hell is the matter with you?

INT. AAA - AUDITORIUM - DAY

Zay is attempting to teach Lucas choreography, but it’s clearly far from easy. Not that that’s surprising, but it’s evident that Lucas was not meant to be a dancer. It’s a challenge unlike anything Zay has ever confronted before, regardless of how hard Lucas is trying.

Zay: I don’t -- like, is your brain connected to your limbs? How is this not clicking?

Riley enters, brightening when she finds them both. She asks how everything is going, and the look that both of them give her basically answers her question for them.

Riley: I hope I’m not interrupting.

Zay: No, you know what? It’s good. I need a break. Rome wasn’t built in a God damn free period. [ pointing to Lucas ] Don’t go anywhere with your two left feet, Fry Pan.

Lucas holds out his arms. What do you want from me? As Zay marches off, Riley tries to hold back her smile as she joins Lucas at center stage.

Riley: So seems like it’s going good, then.

Lucas: Oh, haha. [ making a face ] You know -- and this may shock you -- I’m not a dancer.

Riley, gasping: No. You’re kidding?

Lucas: I know, I know. Brand new information.

Riley smiles, asking to take a look at Zay’s choreography sheets. Lucas hands them over, Riley hopping onto the stacked acting blocks and reading them over for herself. He watches her as she reads, only shifting his gaze to his feet when she glances up to look at him.

She says that all things considered, the choreography isn’t so bad. He just has to keep working at it, and the whole thing is pretty low stakes anyway.

Riley: What even made you decide to do a performance? I have to admit, I never thought I would see the day.

Lucas: … well, with everything I did this year, figure it’s the least I can do. Just putting the karmic cycle back in balance.

Riley: You believe in karma?

Lucas: Could be. Either way, mine is shit. Objectively speaking.

Riley gives him a look. She glances back down at the papers and then states she’s sure he’ll be fine, and she for one is looking forward to the show. He rolls his eyes.

Lucas: You know, they have words for people who demonstrate ridiculous belief in unreliable things. It’s called blind faith. Usually it’s reserved for important things though. Gods, governments. Conventional belief systems.

Riley: Well, I’m nothing if not unconventional.

Lucas, quietly: Yeah.

The tension between them is palpable, even with the fair amount of space between them. They hold each other’s gaze, another one of those moments where they can’t seem to look away from one another. If it were possible, they might just stand there and look at each other forever.

Fortunately -- or maybe unfortunately, depending on your perspective -- Zay keeps that from happening. He reenters and tells Lucas to get ready to run it again, totally oblivious to their lingering moment. Riley hops off the acting blocks as Lucas clears his throat, directing his attention back to Zay.

Riley: I’ll get out of your way. Good luck. [ smiling ] Both of you.

Zay waves her off, sending her on her way. Once she’s gone, he turns back to Lucas and lets out a grand sigh.

Lucas: Now you’re just being a bitch.

INT. AAA - COSTUME LOFT - DAY

Jade is in the costume department, ignoring the task of organizing the leftover fabrics from this year and painstakingly attempting to fix the project she’s been working on all week. When someone enters she jumps and tries to hide the garment, straightening up and nervously looking towards the doors.

It’s not who she was expecting. Isadora enters, pushing a costume rack.

Isadora: Sorry. Didn’t mean to startle you.

Jade: No, it’s okay. I’m just um… it’s fine.

Isadora nods, bringing the rack all the way in. She explains that she got a head start on the inventorying of the costumes, and all the ones on the rack here are finished. She intends to put them back after theatre lab, if that’s alright.

Jade, surprised: Um… sure. Yeah, that would be helpful.

Isadora: Great. [ a beat ] I really am sorry, Jade. It wasn’t intentional, but I know I dropped the ball when it comes to pulling my weight on our team. [ hesitant ] And our friendship.

Well, Jade isn’t going to tell her otherwise. She shrugs lightly, acknowledging the apology but not necessarily accepting it quite yet. It’ll take time, and Isadora gets that. But she’s said her piece, and now all she can do is keep working to make reparations.

As she’s heading out, though, she decides there’s one more thing she wants to say.

Isadora: About Nigel.

Jade: Huh?

Isadora: Nigel. If you want to go to prom with him… then you should just ask him yourself. Don’t wait around for some boy to do the job right when you’re perfectly capable of doing it -- and probably better. He’s chicken, but the way he’s been looking at you… I’m pretty sure he would say yes.

Something to think about, at least. Jade considers it as Isadora exits, leaving her alone with the costumes.

INT. AAA - CAFETERIA - DAY

Riley has joined Charlie, Clarissa, and Haley for lunch. As they chat the notion of Charlie and Riley going to prom together comes back up, Haley visibly taken aback by the reveal. She starts to question how that came to be, obviously struggling to accept it, when their conversation is totally derailed by Maya paying a visit to their table.

Although she’s all bright smiles, the tone is mildly threatening as Maya confronts Riley and Charlie. She also is questioning their union for promenade, wondering if their admittedly perfect cookie-cutter image is intent on also campaigning for prom court. Because it would sure be a shame for them to have to go head to head…

Maya might be built like a pixie, but the threat behind her words resonates loud and clear. Charlie shakes his head, stammering to correct her thinking.

Charlie: Oh, we’re not --

Riley: We weren’t planning to --

Yeah, no. It’s a no. This seems to appease Maya, who relaxes and turns back on the charm. Still, her friendly laughter still feels ominous as she wishes them the best, and reminds them not to forget to vote for her and Zay for prom king and queen come Saturday evening.

Clarissa shakes her head, reiterating her former stance.

Clarissa: Nowhere and nothing is safe.

INT. AAA - ERIC’S OFFICE - DAY

Eric is putting on his most encouraging counselor smile, sitting across from Isadora and Farkle. He’s just wrapping up a pitch, stating that considering they’ve become such good friends in the last few months, he thought maybe it would be a good idea for them to go to prom as a duo. Just as friends. Pals, looking out for one another! Good, old, promenade buddies.

Farkle seems entertained by the mere suggestion. Isadora looks unamused.

Isadora: So you want me to babysit him.

Eric: That’s -- that’s not what I said.

Farkle: That’s basically what you said.

Eric tries to save face, but he forgot he’s dealing with the two most intuitive (and judgmental) students in the junior class. They see right through his facade, recognizing this tactic for exactly what it is.

Isadora: Also, what makes you assume I don’t already have a date?

Eric: … well do you?

[ Farkle looks to Isadora, raising his eyebrows. When she huffs, he cracks a smirk. ]

Isadora: No, but that’s not the point.

Eric relents, talking to them straight. Yes, they want Farkle to have company at the dance due to his history over the last few months. Ideally, this would be a small ask, considering they are friends and would likely be hanging out at the event anyway.

Eric: You are friends, yes?

Isadora: Request pending.

Farkle: I think of it more as intellectual sparring partners.

There’s really no good way to respond to that. Eric requests that they consider the option, as it would be a favor to him if nothing else. Give him a little peace of mind.

That’s just the selling point he needed to flex. Isadora glances between them, then sighs, claiming Farkle will pick her up when she decides he will.

Eric is thrilled, and Farkle doesn’t look all that opposed either. This, he claims, is a good thing. They’re thwarting problems before they even arise. No problems for junior prom this year!

INT. AAA - HALLWAY - DAY

Clarissa runs into Charlie, concerned. She takes his arm.

Clarissa: Problem. Big problem.

When Charlie asks her what the heck is going on, she states that Haley has finally broken down. She’s up in the costume loft and is refusing to talk, and she’s effectively decided she is not going to prom. Whatever crazy plague is running through their class, it’s finally hit her.

Charlie sighs, nodding and telling Clarissa he’ll handle it. He takes off at a jog towards the auditorium.

INT. AAA - COSTUME LOFT - DAY

Haley is sitting amongst the costumes, wiping tears from her cheeks. When Charlie pulls himself into the loft it almost makes it worse, Haley shaking her head and telling him to go away.

Haley: As if this could not get any more humiliating.

Charlie: Hey, don’t worry, I have had… my fair share of breakdowns up here.

He settles down next to her, in the exact spot he was crying just an episode ago. He waits patiently for her to acknowledge him again, asking her why she’s so upset. Clarissa told him she wasn’t going to prom -- what’s that all about?

Haley shrugs, huffing and avoiding eye contact with him. She shakily admits that some part of her always thought… maybe it was stupid, but he really doesn’t get it. They can be friends for years, spend all this time together, and he still has no idea. And she just… she feels like such an idiot. All of this is just so stupid.

Charlie pauses, searching for how to tread cautiously.

Charlie: If we’re being honest with each other… I know.

Haley: You -- you know. You know that I --

Charlie: Yeah. I have for a while.

Haley: Oh God. [ hiding her head in her knees ] That’s even worse.

Charlie: It’s not, Hales. You can’t help who you like. [ a beat ] Although, still being honest… I don’t really think you do.

Haley lifts her head, frowning at him. She asks what he means, and Charlie tries to figure out the best way to articulate what he’s thinking.

Charlie: Believe me, I speak from experience here, but I think it’s… really easy to become in love with the idea of something. Things that seem easy, and perfect, if they could just work out a certain way. So we fall in love with those ideals, rather than the way things actually are.

Haley: So, what? You think I’m just making everything up?

Charlie: No, I believe some of it is real. I believe you love me -- and that makes sense, because I love you, too. We’ve been friends for years, like you said, and I can’t imagine what my time at Triple A would be like without you. I don’t want to.

[ Haley wipes her eyes. ]

Charlie: But I think, realistically, that’s all we’re ever going to be. And I think you know that, too -- it’s just safer to keep things the way they are now. Where you never get what you think you want, but then you never get hurt, either.

Haley: … okay, you’re kind of freaking me out here. Get out of my head.

Charlie, laughing: Like I said, talking from experience.

A quiet moment passes between them. Charlie goes on to state that Haley shouldn’t give up her junior prom, especially not over him. They’ll both be there, and they’ll still get to spend the evening together with Clarissa and Riley and the rest of their friends. It’ll be fun, even if it’s not the fantasy they imagine in their heads.

Charlie: And as for the rest of it… I guess you and I will both just have to see what the future holds. Rather than hiding behind expectations we know we’re never gonna meet.

A tough pill to swallow, but important. Haley exhales and then nods, giving up. Trading out the fantasy, but perhaps for the better. She gives him a smile.

Haley: I do love you, Charlie Gardner. That much is true.

Charlie returns the beam, accepting the hug she gives him.

INT. AAA - BLACK BOX THEATER - DAY

Jade is standing outside the black box, watching Nigel chat with Yindra and NICK YOGI. Dylan and Asher stand behind her, hyping her up as she gears up to do the impossible.

Asher: Just be yourself. Be straight-forward.

Dylan: Go in there and get what you came for.

Jade: Right. Sure. [ a beat ] What if he says no?

Dylan: Sock him.

Asher glares at him, Dylan shrugging before smiling to himself. Asher takes the more serious approach, bracing Jade’s shoulders from behind.

Asher: If he says no, then it’s his loss. You’re Jade Beamon --

Dylan: Jade motherfucking Beamon!

Asher: And he would be lucky to get even an evening of your time. [ patting her shoulders ] Go get him, queen.

Dylan lightly nudges her forward, Jade taking a deep breath. Then she marches into the classroom, approaching Nigel and tapping him on the shoulder.

When he turns around and meets her eyes, for a second it seems like she’s going to run. But she squares her shoulders, clears her throat, and speaks as confidently as she can.

Jade: Nigel.

Nigel, surprised: Jade?

Jade: We should go to prom together. If you want to. I mean -- you should want to go with me. But only if you do. The point is -- will you go to prom with me? Maybe?

The back and forth between assertive and timid is jarring, but also quite charming. Nigel takes a moment to fully absorb what’s happening, but the smile that blooms across his face is near instantaneous.

Nigel: Yes. Yeah, I’d -- I’d like that a lot.

Jade: Great! I mean, um, great. Good. I’ll text you with details.

Nigel: Okay. Great.

Jade: Great. Okay… great.

Jade spins on her heel and marches back out, Yindra and Yogi exchanging wild looks. But Nigel is fully endeared, obviously not at all opposed to this turn of events.

As Jade escapes back into the hall, Dylan and Asher mob her with congratulatory hugs and pats on the back! She did it! Jade Beamon is going to prom with Nigel Chey, baby!

In tone with the celebratory mood, the bold brass opening floats in…

INT. AAA - AUDITORIUM - DAY

Song Cue ♫ ♪ “I’ve Gotta Be Me” as performed by Glee Cast || Performed by Lucas James Friar (feat. Zay Babineaux)

Another AMBITION first for the bucket list, Lucas gives his first almost solo performance, with a Broadway number, and that isn’t fueled by pure rage. Zay is on stage with him to help with the choreography, but in some ways that’s a nice way to help take the pressure off. It’s sort of like a dress rehearsal rather than an actual performance.

And look… it’s not great. Lucas is not a performer, and he was never pretending to be. But it’s passable, and honestly the vocals aren’t half bad. There are even a couple of rare, fleeting moments where it seems like he might actually be having fun.

The real fun is for the audience though. His classmates are near entranced by the spectacle, having watched Lucas do nothing but grump and roll his eyes for three years straight -- and especially the majority of this year. Farkle is watching with his jaw dropped open, blankly stunned. Riley is hiding her fond grin behind her hands, shaking her head. Isadora is openly laughing, but with him rather than at him. Even Jack and Eric came to watch, thoroughly amused, and maybe a little bit proud.

The techies are cheering along the entire time, and when Lucas gets through that last note and hits those last steps with Zay, they leap to their feet and give him a standing ovation. Given the year he’s had, the uproarious applause sort of feel well-deserved.

He survived, God damn it, he survived!

INT. AAA - COSTUME LOFT - DAY

Jade is leading Asher into the floor level of the costume department by both hands, the latter having been instructed to keep his eyes closed. He’s playing along, but nervously, reminding Jade that he hates surprises and also hates not being able to see.

Asher: You know going blind is one of my anxieties.

Jade: Everything is one of your anxieties. But hold on, we’re almost there.

She gets him right in front of where she’s hung up her latest project, pulling back and instructing him to open his eyes. He does, seeing the surprise and expression growing shocked.

It’s a pair of suit jackets, custom-made for junior prom. They align with the theme in terms of the subtle allusions to stars and shimmering elements factored into the design, but they’re inverse in terms of colors -- one mainly creme-colored with darker accents, and the other dark with lighter accents. Matching, but unique. And clear labors of love, from a seamstress who knows her craft.

Jade explains how she got the idea to make them, how she wanted to make sure they were clearly a matching set like Asher and Dylan, but also distinct from one another.

Jade: We just used to talk all the time about how fun it would be to have custom stuff for prom, when we got there one day. And you used to always talk about what you and Dylan could wear, but then would get all embarrassed, as if that was silly. Like it would never happen, that you couldn’t last that long. [ a beat ] Well, we got here, and I just figured after the hell year we’ve had…

Asher is staring at them, speechless. He’s tearing up, at a loss for what to do. Jade takes the impending waterworks as a bad sign, searching for a way to recover.

Jade: I mean, if there’s something you’d like better, you can just tell me. Or if you already picked out tuxes, that’s totally fine too, you don’t have to wear them --

Asher interrupts her nervous rambles, barreling her with a hug. The embrace is tight, and although there are tears the tone in his voice conveys that they’re happy.

Asher: I love you so much.

Jade beams, getting choked up too. She hugs him back.

Jade, teary but laughing: I love you, too.

INT. MATTHEWS APARTMENT - NIGHT

Prom night is upon us! There’s a flurry of activity at the Matthews apartment, making it more lively than its been in months.

AUGGIE MATTHEWS is there to help Riley get ready and spend the weekend with Cory. Riley is obviously happy that he’s there, grinning when she emerges from the hall in her gorgeous lavender gown and he jumps up in excitement. She questions where their dad is and Auggie nods towards the fire escape, Cory visible through the window.

EXT. MATTHEWS APARTMENT - FIRE ESCAPE - NIGHT

Riley delicately climbs her way out onto the balcony, Cory going to help her through when he notices she’s trying. Once they’ve got her upright, he gets a good look at her and goes soft with fatherly pride.

Cory, softly: You look lovely.

Riley smiles, both of them adjusting further out onto the fire escape. They take a moment to look at the scenery of their street, throwing a couple of jokes back and forth about how she’s going to prom with Charlie and whether or not Cory should be worried (he should not at all).

After a moment of quiet, Riley pecks up the courage to speak on what she really needs to say.

Riley: When mom called a couple weeks back, it wasn’t just to check in. She, um… [ off his wary expression ] She wants me to come upstate, too. For senior year.

Cory: … oh. [ swallowing hard ] Oh.

Riley: I’m not telling you because I’ve made any sort of decision, yet, or anything like that. I’m going to take the time to really… really think about it, and make sure I make the right choice for me. [ a beat ] But I just… wanted you to know what was going on. And also that no matter what happens, I’m still with you. I’m not going to leave you alone.

Cory nods, trying his best to accept it. Riley hesitates, deciding if she wants to continue.

Riley: Regardless of what I choose though… I need to be clear that I can’t be in the middle anymore. I love you both, but I am tearing myself apart trying to keep up with the constant back and forth. Trying to keep things civil in this family when I don’t think that’s supposed to be my job.

Cory: It’s not… Riley, I never meant for --

Riley: I know. And part of it is me -- feels like I’m always looking for other things to focus on and fix rather than myself. [ with a deep breath ] But I can’t keep living like that. I need to start focusing on myself… and that comes with setting boundaries. I love you, dad, but I can’t carry your baggage with mom anymore. It’s your fight, not mine.

Cory hesitates, obviously feeling guilty. Then he nods, assuring her that he’ll try his best to remember that. He doesn’t want to make this any harder for her than it already is. And if she’s trying to get him to hear her, then he’s listening. He really is going to try.

Riley smiles lightly, leaning forward to pull him into a hug. He returns the embrace, stating that he’s grateful he gets to be here with her on this important night. They pull apart, Cory fixing a piece of her hair.

Cory: Absolutely beautiful.

She smiles again.

INT. MATTHEWS APARTMENT - MASTER BEDROOM - NIGHT

Katy and Maya are sharing a similar bonding moment. Katy has taken over eyeliner duties, adjusting Maya’s makeup with her expert hand. She claims Maya has a tendency for overdoing it, which makes her laugh.

Maya: Tell me something I don’t know.

When she’s all finished, Katy looks at her daughter lovingly. She looks stunning, in a beautiful silver and white dress and blonde hair glossy as ever.

Katy: Like bona fide royalty. [ touching her chin ] No matter what the votes say.

Maya grins. She pulls her into an embrace.

INT. MINKUS HOME - NIGHT

JENNIFER MINKUS is nitpicking at Farkle, brushing off the shoulders of his navy suit jacket. He tells her to stop fussing, but she requests just one more second. She reaches up on instinct to fix his hair then remembers there’s not as much there as there used to be. Then she smiles, bracing his shoulders.

Jennifer: Beautiful boy. Perfect.

The housekeeper claims that the driver is downstairs, so Farkle should start heading out. STUART MINKUS shares an exchange with him as he’s in the entryway, offering him a Minkus good luck charm. It’s a silver lapel pin, a little crest shape related to their family coat of arms.

Stuart carefully pins it to Farkle’s lapel.

Stuart: You know, I wore this when I went on my first date with your mother -- and look where we are now.

Farkle, scoffing: It’s not -- this isn’t that kind of…

He doesn’t finish the sentence, letting it trail off. Stuart’s expression is amused, claiming he doesn’t quite buy it, but relenting for now.

When he finishes and smooths the lapel to crisp perfection, he takes a moment to really take in his son. Still with him, still standing in spite of everything that’s unfolded. It’s clear that there’s something he wants to say to him, heavy with the same weight that him sleeping at his hospital bedside all through his recovery held.

Yet, the words still don’t exist. Emotional expression has never been paramount in the Minkus household, and old habits die hard.

Instead, he pats his shoulder bracingly and wishes him luck. Jennifer comes to join Stuart as Farkle steps out, both of them wishing him a good time. Have some fun! This is your night of freedom, soak it up for all it’s worth!

Isadora, pre-lap: I don’t see how much fun it could be when we’re being watched by faculty all night long.

INT. ERIC’S APARTMENT - ISADORA’S ROOM - NIGHT

Isadora is seated at the vanity in Eric’s guest room, the space she’s taken over while staying with him. It seems that per their last conversation, Eric is keeping to his word with Valerie and is giving Isadora an actual legitimate place to stay in the mean time rather than Blue’s couch.

She’s sitting impatiently as Lucas stands behind her, braiding pieces of her hair to complete her prom look. A hidden talent, perhaps? It looks pretty, to say the least. He plainly states that she’ll be having more fun than him no matter what, there’s little doubt about that.

As he wraps up the last braid, Isadora pulls on her Converse and carefully gets to her feet.

Lucas: What, no heels?

Isadora: Are you kidding me? I think I’d break my ankles.

Lucas: Very “I’m not like other girls” of you.

Isadora: This is not about faux-originality, this is about my comfort and safety. As well as the safety of others.

The shoes hardly put a dent in the overall ensemble anyway. She’s in a gorgeous dark blue number, accented with a sheer layer of star patterns and custom designed by one of Valerie’s designer friends. It’s certainly not her typical ensemble, but she makes it work. Beautiful, but still a force to be reckoned with.

Lucas smiles, lightly punching her shoulder. He tells her she looks good, and she nudges him back before saying thanks.

Lucas, more serious: Sorry I can’t be there. To be there for you.

Isadora: It’s whatever. Be sad for your own sake, not mine.

Eric calls for Isadora from the hall, the two of them heading towards the door.

INT. ERIC’S APARTMENT - NIGHT

Eric is adjusting his suit and tie in the hall mirror when there’s a curt knock at the door. He goes to open it, delighted to greet Farkle on the other side. He gestures him inside, Farkle awkwardly making his way in and stuffing his hands in his pockets.

Both of them soften when Isadora emerges from the hall, obviously exceeding expectations. Eric tells her that she looks great -- Farkle says nothing, because he has no words. How are you supposed to react when your intellectual sparring partner shows up looking like that?

For a moment, all of them just hang awkwardly in the living area. Lucas clears his throat, scratching at his neck. That’s as good a cue as any, and Eric claims they should get going if they’re going to get there early to help set up. The price they pay, carpooling with a chaperone.

Eric ushers them out, giving Lucas a pat on the shoulder and telling him he’ll drop him off at his destination for the first half of the evening. And away they go! As their door closes…

INT. GARDNER HOME - NIGHT

Another opens, Riley standing bright and smiling on the doorstep of the Gardner home. AMBROSE GARDNER takes care to greet her cheerfully and help her inside, asking if there’s anything he can get her.

She should be grateful that the sanest member of the family met her first. ELEANOR GARDNER excitedly comes in from the kitchen moments later, greeting her enthusiastically and wanting to know a million things about her. Of course, they’ve heard so much about her already -- feels like Charlie is always talking about her!

From the living room, Rosie and DAISY GARDNER watch curiously.

Daisy: She’s pretty.

Rosie: Yeah.

Daisy: How did Charlie manage to get that?

Rosie: Shh.

As if summoned, Charlie rushes down the stairs. He looks charming in his relatively simple tuxedo, the touches of purple in his tie and pocket square perfectly accenting Riley’s dress. She gives him a hug as he reaches the bottom of the stairs, all of the Gardners eyeing them as they interact in front of them for the first time.

And to be fair, they look lovely. They seem near classic, the picture of prom perfection… but it’s so… boring. Whatever spark of flirtation Eleanor thinks she’s seeing between them, it’s absolutely nothing.

Still, she insists on getting some photos before they go. Charlie is embarrassed, but he allows it. As they’re assembling against the wall by the door, he leans over to whisper to her.

Charlie: Sorry about this. You look great, by the way.

Riley: Thanks. You too. And it’s fine. These’ll be great pictures to show my kids someday.

The choice of “my” rather than “our” is very pointed. Charlie gives her a look, elbowing her and earning a giggle out of her. Eleanor captures the moment, claiming that’s the perfect one.

Then Charlie tries to plot their escape, claiming they really should get going. Ambrose thanks Riley for driving -- Eleanor jokingly warns them not to stay out too late! A-wink!

Charlie looks like he’d rather be dead. Riley holds back her laughter as they escape into the night, the whole family sending them off cheerfully.

Once they’re gone, Ambrose and Eleanor exchange thoughtful looks.

Ambrose: She seems nice.

Eleanor, “knowingly:” Mhm… pretty…

Yeah, she really thinks this is something else. As she saunters back towards the kitchen…

INT. ORLANDO HOME - NIGHT

Song Cue ♫ ♪ “That’s What I Like” as performed by Bruno Mars || Instrumental

The techie pre-prom gathering is in full swing, the techie jams playlist on shuffle as they get ready together and mingle. Some of their parents are also in attendance (and likely to have a party of their own once they get them the hell out of there), namely LEVI GARCIA, EMILY GARCIA, and of course RANDALL ORLANDO.

Randall subtly interrupts a conversation between Lucas and Jade, where she’s just finished commenting on how nice it is for this gathering to be snapback free. It’s true that Lucas does stick out like a sore thumb, in his plain old blue flannel and jeans rather than dressed up like the rest of them.

The two of them exchange a bit of small talk before Randall gets to the point, asking Lucas about how things are going. Considering the last he heard about everything was literally picking up Dylan from the police precinct because of the joy ride, it stands to reason that he would be interested in knowing since he’s let Lucas back in his home since then.

To his credit, Randall has also been more of a dad to Lucas than his own, in spite of how avoidant Lucas can be. So he tells him the truth, stating that it’s been better but it’s also definitely been worse. He apologizes for what happened with the joy ride, and assures him that he’s banking on that sort of thing never happening again. Randall gives him a nod and a pat on the shoulder, approving.

The moment is interrupted as Nate gets their attention, using a cooking spoon as a faux microphone as he plays MC. He thanks them all for coming (which Dave and Jeff jeer at) before claiming he has the distinct pleasure of introducing their host and his paramour for the evening, showing off their custom-made, never before seen Jade Beamon originals.

Nate: First up -- you know may know him as Dyl Pickle, vlogger extraordinaire, the deviant who once stuck a whopping thirty-two sticky notes to Shawn Hunter’s back in one class period. He’s as gay as they come, in every sense of the word. Host of the evening and renowned “kissing expert” --

Asher, from upstairs: NATE!

Nate: What? He told me to say it! Anyway, let’s give it up for the one-of-a-kind Dylan Blake Orlando.

All of them cheer theatrically as Dylan comes downstairs, sliding down the banister and hopping onto the bottom step. He shows off the suit jacket Jade made, looking even fresher and fun actually on him than just hanging in the costume loft. He spins and hams it up for a moment, then backs off so Nate can continue.

Nate: Equally as effervescent, our other star of the evening is not to be discounted. He’s smart, he’s sharp, he’s the scariest person you will ever meet if you piss him off or forget to organize the paints in alphabetical order. King of production design, prop mix master, puts the Ash in Ash Cash Money --

Dylan, taking the spoon: The love of my life --

Nate, taking it back: Hey, this is my gig! I didn’t ask for ad-libs.

Jeff: Drunk on power…

Nate: Anyway, let’s give it up ladies and gentlemen for the only one of us with any class, Asher L. Garcia!

Asher jogs down the stairs, looking equally as iconic in his custom suit jacket. He does a small spin as well to give the item it’s due moment, Dylan cheering the loudest of all of them.

Randall: Very nice, very good. Now, could I get a moment with my “gay vlogger sticky note” son?

The techies all cheer and laugh at his take, Dylan sliding across the hardwood to meet him. Jade and Asher link up, the former taking his hands and practically bouncing as she proclaims how good the suits turned out. They look amazing!

Lucas looks around at all of his friends, glammed up and excited. Distinctly left out of the excitement, only this time not by his own choice. Somehow, that’s worse.

He’s pulled out of it as Nate declares they still have one order of business, the seven of them regrouping. Dylan slips back into the circle between Asher and Lucas.

Nate: Now, as with any good tradition, we have some firsts to establish. And this shit is important -- it may be the most important thing we do in our lives at Triple A.

Jade: Speak for yourself.

Nate: As we know, the prom court institution at Adams is royally corrupt. It’s the same shit every single year.

Dave: Nothing new.

Jeff: Same old shit.

Nate: And to that, the techie tots say no more. We will be crowning our own reigning royalty this year, and that honor happens tonight. Without further ado --

For what it’s worth, the only two that don’t seem to know what’s happening are Asher and Dylan. They watch in confusion as Dave retrieves two pin cases from his interior pocket, handing them to Jade and Lucas respectively. Then they turn to face them, grinning wide at the stunned expressions on Dylan and Asher’s faces.

Nate: Congratulations, Pickle and Bird Bones. You’re fucking royalty.

Jade and Lucas move forward, pinning the brand new charms to Asher and Dylan’s lapels, respectively. The pins are small medals, the band being monochrome like techie uniforms and the metal piece a small crown.

The true kings have been crowned. Whatever happens next hardly matters.

Jade: Okay, we have to get out of here before Asher cries again.

Randall and the parents swoop in, insisting on one group photo before they all head out to wreak havoc. At first Lucas steps out of the photo, allowing them their classy group photo, but then all of them shout for him to get in the picture as well.

EXT. ORLANDO HOME - NIGHT

Dave leads the charge down the steps to the “party van,” i.e. their techie van they use for Home Depot runs. On the steps, Dylan and Asher hang back and check in with Lucas one last time.

Asher: You sure you don’t want to come?

Dylan, sing-song: We could sneak you in...

Lucas knows they damn well mean it. But he waves them off, assuring them that he’ll be fine. They need to go have fun and not worry about him for a night.

Song Cue ♫ ♪ “Good Love (Feel Like This)” as performed by Sir, Please || Performed by Nigel Chey (feat. Dave Williams, Nick Yogi, and AAA Juniors)

And so it is. Asher gives him a pat on the arm and then they’re off, leaving Lucas on the steps alone. He watches his friends head out without him, bittersweet smile on his face.

As the groovy rock hit floats in…

INT. PROM VENUE - NIGHT

Prom roll up! The event is hopping, the large ballroom space beautifully decorated towards the stars theme and everyone’s appropriately matched outfits shimmering under the low lighting. The brightest lights are geared towards the DJ stage, which alternates between a sound system and live performances.

At present, Nigel is giving a riveting vocal performance while the junior and senior class parties on the dance floor. Dave is backing on guitar, Yogi on the keyboard, and other B Class students filling out the rest of the band.

Jade, Dylan, and Asher are right by the stage, Jade watching him perform with a mix of shyness and excitement. Every once in a while, he’ll look over at her and crack a smile.

Dylan and Asher are distracted when Isadora wanders over to join them, all of them immediately complimenting one another on their one-of-a-kind outfits. Dylan gives her a hug. Asher asks how it is being accompanied by Farkle Minkus, which Isadora claims isn’t terrible -- but it’s not particularly enchanting either.

Meanwhile, Farkle has just met up with Riley and Maya. They ask him how his evening is going so far -- is he having fun? It’s not too overwhelming, is it?

Farkle: Oh, yeah. Sweaty room, loud music, constant surveillance, date who didn’t even want to go with me. Time of my life, girls. Undoubtedly.

On the opposite side of the room, Charlie has just made his way over to the refreshments. He reaches for the ladle for the punch just at the same time as Zay, their hands brushing before they look up and lock eyes.

For a moment, neither of them say anything. They just take one another in -- well-groomed, nice tuxedos, the most they’ve even really seen of each other since the break-up -- before Zay manages to say something.

Zay: You look… classic.

Innocent enough. Charlie laughs nervously, nodding.

Charlie: And you look…

He can’t finish the sentence. What’s he going to say? No word is good enough. And where they are right now doesn’t allow for him to say what he’s actually thinking.

Thankfully, Maya swoops in and unwittingly throws him a life preserver. She interrupts their conversation, claiming that she needs for Zay to come dance with her lest people get the impression she can’t hold her own on the dance floor. She pays Charlie the same compliment in that he looks nice, before reminding him to vote Zay and Maya for prom king and queen!

Charlie: Okay, if you keep saying that, someone is going to murder you by the end of the night.

Maya: Attempted assassinations are just part of the job description.

Farkle regroups with Isadora, finding her amidst the crowd. The two of them stand in silence for a moment, absorbing the chaotic scene around them. Farkle eyes Jack and Eric across the room, talking to one another and not paying any attention to them, then leans down to whisper in Isadora’s ear.

Farkle: You wanna get out of here?

Isadora looks around at her classmates and teachers before her gaze lands on Farkle. She smiles, somewhere between a smirk and genuinely sweet.

EXT. COURTHOUSE - NIGHT

Valerie emerges from the courthouse, seemingly in much better spirits than the last time she was there. She inhales a deep breath of fresh air, blithe smile on her face.

INT. HOTEL SUITE - NIGHT

Katy opens the door to her hotel room, surprised to find Val standing on the other side. She’s carrying a bottle of champagne and doesn’t wait for an invitation to march inside. She tells Katy to grab a couple of glasses, they are celebrating!

Katy, uncertainly: Good news, I’m guessing?

Valerie: You know, in this industry, they tell you the most important thing is to hang on. Hang on by the skin of your teeth, dig your fingernails in, and never let go. Who would’ve known that applied to the rest of this crazy, mixed up world too?

Valerie pops the champagne and pours a glass for her and Katy, raising her glass.

Valerie: I persevered, and only good things have come from it. [ sublime ] Isadora is going to be mine. We’re going to be a real family.

Katy happily cheers to that, both of them taking a drink from their glasses. They settle down on the couch in the suite, Valerie absolutely giddy with the news. She can’t wait to tell Isadora. Katy can imagine -- she knows how important it is, having time with her baby girl.

An idea seems to strike Valerie in that moment, eyes widening. She reaches out and touches Katy’s arm, excited.

Valerie: You’ll come stay with us.

Katy: Wh -- what?

Valerie: Yes, yes, you’ll come back to New York and you’ll stay with us! You, me, Maya, and Isadora. The four of us will live together, four rough and tough, talented women surviving the concrete jungle as a team.

Katy: Oh, I don’t… I couldn’t --

Valerie: Katy, you belong here. In this city, with your daughter and your dreams. If I have proven anything in this endeavor, it’s that it’s never too late to change course and achieve something you never thought possible. [ a beat ] You belong in Manhattan, with Maya. Talent like yours shouldn’t be wasted in the farmland of Vermont.

Katy processes that, taking another sip of her champagne. If a Hollywood starlet is telling her she’s meant to be here, then who is she to refuse it?

Katy: Alright. Alright, then!

Valerie claps excitedly, already abuzz with so many new ideas.

Valerie: Oh, this is so exciting. This is amazing! Isadora and Maya are going to be over the moon. This is a bigger deal than when my good friend and mentee Lizzo basically single-handedly saved the R&B industry.

She raises her glass again for another toast. Katy grants it, their glasses clinking together.

INT. PROM VENUE - NIGHT

Song Cue ♫ ♪ “Dance Again” as performed by Selena Gomez || Instrumental

The lighting is more aesthetic and dimmer as the prom goes on, the junior class out grooving on the dance floor. We get shots of different combinations of them dancing -- Charlie is with Haley and Clarissa, Jade and Nigel are giggly as they get comfortable with one another, Dylan and Asher are upholding their reigning title as cutest couple.

In the midst of the festivities, Eric grows concerned as he realizes he can’t find Isadora. Farkle is nowhere to be found either -- and that’s because they’re not there. They’re long gone, someone having disappeared right under his nose.

Eric grabs Riley from the edge of the dance floor, asking if she’s seen either of them. She claims not since they first got here… is everything okay? Eric doesn’t respond, pushing through the crowd to try and get a better look.

He’s surrounded by teenagers, and yet none are the two he’s specifically supposed to be keeping an eye on. Just as he’s on the verge of panic, Jack comes to his side and asks what’s going on. What’s with the look on his face?

Eric, breathless: Isadora -- and Farkle -- they’re not -- I can’t find --

Jack: Okay, relax, alright?

Eric: Relax? I lost two children!

Jack: Okay, we’ll find them. Alright?

Jack drags Eric out of the center of the room, passing by HARPER BURGESS as they go. He tells her she’s in charge, guiding Eric out of the venue.

INT. LUCAS’S APARTMENT - LIVING AREA - NIGHT

Lucas emerges from his room with a box, sleeves rolled up to his elbows and clearly down to business. He and GRACE FRIAR are operating with relative ease, indicating that their third household member isn’t home at present.

He places the box on the table in front of her, claiming that he’s gone through it and he needs her to go through it too so they can decide whether or not to donate it. Grace seems intrigued, but not opposed to the idea.

Grace: Spring cleaning?

Lucas: Something in my life might as well be in order.

She chuckles a bit at that, although the joke is admittedly somewhat dark. She starts going through the contents, hesitating before telling Lucas she’s sorry that he didn’t get to go to prom. He shrugs it off, but his aloof facade has worn thin over the week.

Grace gives him a warm smile, stating that he’ll be able to go next year.

Lucas: Yeah, let’s see if I make it through this year first.

Valid point. Lucas leaves her to keep going through the stuff, agreeing they should get rid of it either way before Kenneth gets back.

INT. LUCAS’S APARTMENT - LUCAS’S ROOM - NIGHT

Lucas steps back into his closet of a bedroom, sighing at all the junk there still is to go through. He frowns when his phone vibrates in his pocket, growing even more confused when he sees who is calling. He answers.

Lucas: Hello?

Jack is on the other end of the line, already on the road with Eric.

Jack: What are you doing right now?

Lucas, flatly: Crystal meth.

Jack: Okay, you jest, but you’re really not in the position to be making those kind of jokes right now.

Lucas asks what’s going on, and Jack explains the situation. He asks if Lucas has seen or heard from Isadora, and he says no. When Jack requests that he go search that side of town, just drive around and take a look, Lucas seems skeptical.

Lucas: Aren’t you forgetting? My license is suspended.

Jack, unimpressed: Am I really supposed to believe that makes a difference?

Lucas: … fair enough. I’ll do whatever.

Jack assures him if he gets into any trouble, he’ll help him out of it. They just need to get a trace on them so Eric can breathe again. Lucas grabs his denim jacket, heading out.

INT. DINER - NIGHT

Isadora and Farkle, thankfully, are not engaged in anything remotely nefarious. They’re just making an evening out of it all their own, having escaped prom to seek refuge at a non-descript diner across town.

Farkle is way more enthused by the prospect than Isadora. He’s practically jittery, tapping his fingers on the table and unable to stop grinning. He claims this is the most fun, the most freedom, he’s had in months.

Isadora: Okay, calm down, edgelord. It’s not that deep.

Oh, but perhaps it is, Isadora. Farkle leans further into the theatricality, dramatically stating that he doesn’t think there’s ever been a night quite like this. Full of this… energy, and mystery, and potential. Can’t she feel it? In homage to the number that’s just about to come into play, Farkle sits up so that he’s sitting on the booth seat, rather than in it.

Isadora: Okay, what are you doing? Sit down.

Farkle: Can’t you just feel it? And how… how we start thinking --

Isadora: Start thinking what?

Farkle: How wonderful it all is.

Isadora: How wonderful what all is?

Farkle: Everything.

Isadora: Now you’re just talking nonsense. Did you take too much medication this morning? What are you on?

He, Isadora, is on life. The freedom of tonight, how good it feels to just be out and adventuring and… alive. In fact, he thinks, it might need some expressing…

Song Cue ♫ ♪ “A Lovely Night” as performed by Cinderella Original Television Cast Recording || Performed by Farkle Minkus (feat. Isadora De La Cruz) [ starting at 4:20 ]

Farkle pushes his way out of the booth and starts sauntering through the diner, Isadora leaning out after him and whispering for him to come back. But he’s already on his way as the instrumental comes in, meaning there’s no hope. This singing train has left the station!

So he kicks off the first verse, singing the fantastical lyrics about how absolutely perfect the evening is. Somehow, it actually works, brightening up the drab, everyday diner and adding a splash of something special and unique.

It helps that Farkle is crazy and completely unapologetic as he takes over the space, the other patrons hesitant at first but then endeared by the performance. Farkle sings the first line about a “charming prince” to a gaggle of middle school girls, who all collectively lose their shit when he turns away from them. To them, for all intents and purposes, all suave in his prom suit and singing so elegantly, he is a prince charming.

Isadora might be starting to figure that out too, as she watches in disbelief while Farkle pulls other diners and workers into brief stints of choreography. By the time he makes it back over to her table in the second verse, he leans forward on the table and sings the lines “darling, I love you” while looking right into her eyes.

Part of the whole act? It’s impossible to tell.

Then he pulls her up from the booth, into dancing with him through the diner as the dance break commences. Although she’s hesitant at first, Isadora is more surprised by how not averse to the experience she is. Farkle is a good dancer, at least this kind of dancing, and it’s not long before she finds herself grinning and laughing along.

They spin their way towards the front, right out the doors…

EXT. DINER - NIGHT

And out into the city, the world aglow with nightlife and even more emphasized by the unreal quality of the dance. It feels very La La Land. They continue the pas de deux through to the end, Farkle picking up the lyrics again for the final rendition of the chorus.

They end it spinning in a circle in the parking lot, Isadora laughing and Farkle truly free as they round out the performance. If there’s going to be any true spectacle this prom season, then Icarus and the fallen Techie Queen dancing together in what may as well be a fantasy sure takes the cake.

INT. JACK’S CAR - MOVING - NIGHT

Eric is not feeling the fantasy, a nervous wreck as they drive through the streets looking for signs of Isadora and Farkle. He relays that she has not responded to any of his texts, and Jack states that’s it. He pulls over, allowing him to give his focus to Eric as he parks on the side of the road.

Jack takes Eric’s phone, out of his grasp.

Jack: Enough. You’re driving yourself crazy.

Eric: Yeah, you’re one to talk. [ trying to snatch it back ] Mister obsessive civil suit --

Jack: Oh, I’m not saying I’m innocent. But you have got to give yourself a break. It was their choice to sneak out and go wild, not yours. You can only do so much. If they choose to be idiotic, that’s on them. Regardless of how much we care.

Eric knows that Jack is speaking from experience. He sighs, slouching back in the passenger seat. Jack tries to comfort him, reminding him that Isadora and Farkle are two of the smartest students at AAA. They’re not going to get into trouble. Besides, if they are, then at least they have their best troublemaker on the case.

Jack: He’s like a heat-seeking missile. If there’s mischief afoot, trust me, I believe he’ll find it.

EXT. NEW YORK STREETS - NIGHT

Maybe so, Jack. Maybe so. Somehow, Lucas manages to catch up to Isadora and Farkle as they’re walking along the streets, slowing down in Grace’s car and coming up next to them. He honks, startling them both.

Lucas: Hey! Lunatics!

Isadora: Lucas? What the hell are you doing here?

Lucas: I could ask you the same question.

Farkle: Isn’t your license suspended?

Lucas holds up a finger to silence Farkle, not acknowledging his question. He keeps his focus on Isadora, who is similarly confused.

Isadora: Isn’t your license suspended?

Lucas: You tell me. You tell me what the hell you’re doing walking around like freaks and sending Eric so postal Jack had to send me out here risking future legal penalty to come find you.

Farkle: Hey, I mean, we snuck out of prom. [ holding his arms out ] Don’t I get a little credit for that, Lucas James Friar?

Lucas glares at him, unimpressed.

Lucas, sharply: Don’t talk to me like you know me.

Farkle raises his hands in surrender, turning away. Lucas turns his focus back to Isadora.

Lucas: Tell Eric where the hell you are and that you’re not dead. At least pay him that decency.

Isadora: Alright! Alright, I will. Sorry you got dragged into it.

Lucas: You’re so lucky I have no life.

Lucky, indeed… Lucas drives off, leaving the two of them alone again. Isadora shifts awkwardly, Farkle hesitating before giving her an unbothered smirk. Woo, reckless freedom!

INT. JACK’S CAR - NIGHT

Jack gets the text from Isadora on Eric’s phone. He smiles and then passes it back to him, telling him that now he can breathe again.

And so he can. Eric lets out a huge sigh of relief, falling back against the seat and rubbing his face. These kids, are they ever gonna let them live? Once he’s pulled himself off the ledge, Eric drops his hands and asks what they’re supposed to do now.

Now that they’re already out? Well… Jack shrugs.

Jack: You like bowling?

INT. PROM VENUE - NIGHT

Song Cue ♫ ♪ “Magic” as performed by Gabrielle Aplin || Performed by Yindra Amino

Things slow down back at the prom, allowing the students to shift into a slow dance. Before Riley and Charlie can make any decisions, Zay swoops over to them to cut in. For a second it seems as though he might ask Charlie, in front of everyone… but he simply requests a dance with his favorite girl at AAA. Charlie relents without an argument, allowing him to steal Riley.

Riley: Sweet of you to say all that. And…

Zay: And I will give anything not to slow dance with Maya, yes.

Charlie shifts his sights to Haley, offering a hand to her. With their former conversation having cleared the air, the two of them are able to simply enjoy a dance together rather than twisting themselves up over what it might mean.

Yindra’s vocals truly help set the mood. The types of slow dancers are all across the spectrum. The soft familiarity of Dylan and Asher, whispering in each other’s ears and smiling and tilting their heads against one another; the timid beginnings of Nigel and Jade, more distance between them but equally as happy to be sharing the dance. Then there’s Maya, not bothering to slow dance at all and continuing her campaign amongst the other single prom-goers.

While Zay and Riley dance, they softly discuss how the evening is going. Riley subtly makes it clear that she is no way moving in on Charlie -- they should both be well aware how unlikely that would be. Zay holds no such suspicions. After all…

Zay: Think you and I are both here while our hearts are somewhere else.

Couldn’t have said it better, Isaiah. Tellingly, while Haley and Charlie are having a swell enough time dancing together, he cannot seem to keep his gaze from drifting towards Zay over her shoulder…

Yindra brings the number home, delivering yet another dazzling performance.

INT. BOWLING ALLEY - NIGHT

Pow! A bowling ball knocks over a volley of pins, shattering the dreamy melancholy of prom.

Jack and Eric have already played one game, crashed in one of the tables by the lanes and sharing some cheap bowling alley snacks. They’re also drinking and… okay, they might be a tad tipsy. They’re laughing as they chat about the evening, more relaxed than we’ve ever seen them. They could almost be teenagers themselves, just wasting away prom night at a bowling alley and blowing off expectations.

Eric complains about Isadora and Farkle’s actions, still not over the sleight. Like he gets it, they’re teenagers, but really? Jack chuckles, shrugging and claiming it’s just that kind of night. He can remember how he used to be -- Lucas really isn’t that far off from how he was at that age, although the kid is way more ballsy than he was.

Besides… there’s something about prom night, man. It makes people do crazy things.

Jack: I was never super into it, but… ha. I remember senior year, me and the guy I was going with --

Eric nearly chokes on his drink. Jack raises his eyebrows, handing him a napkin in concern.

Jack: You okay?

Eric: Yeah. Yeah, I just -- [ clearing his throat ] Guy? You went with a guy?

Jack: Oh, yeah. Administrators weren’t thrilled about it at the time though. [ off his stunned expression ] Oh, come on. You know I’m bisexual. We’ve totally discussed this.

Eric: Um. No. No we have not.

Jack: We definitely have.

Eric: Jack, I would not have forgotten that. Believe me.

Jack shrugs, smiling to himself and taking another drink. Eric just stares at him, trying to reconcile this new understanding he has of his friend and co-worker in his head. He starts to say something, then thinks better of it. Lost for words.

The music on the sound system of the bowling alley saves him from having to speak. As soon as the song starts playing, both of them react with joyful acknowledgement.

Song Cue ♫ ♪ “Bye Bye Bye” as performed by *NSYNC || Performed by Jack Hunter & Eric Matthews

At first the two of them just reminiscence, talking about how classic this song is. Speaking of hits of their youth, this was it in the college days. But as they casually start singing along in their seats, just like their students (and maybe thanks to the alcohol), the groove overtakes them.

Eric jumps to his feet first, crouching on his seat and launching into the second verse. Jack cracks up and claps, encouraging the dramatic performance. Eric manages to pull him into it as well, the two of them delivering the rendition with the same gusto as their overdramatic students.

INT. BYE BYE BYE DREAMSCAPE - NIGHT

In their folly, it would only be fair to give them the same imaginative scape as their students. Part of the performance is a fantasy tribute to the “Bye Bye Bye” music video, Jack and Eric dressed as if they’re back in the early 2000s and dancing around a tilting room.

INT. BOWLING ALLEY - NIGHT

We cut back and forth between that and them wreaking mild havoc in the bowling alley, and gosh dang is it a fun performance.

That’s one way to cut loose for a night. Let’s go principal and counselor!

EXT. HOTEL - NIGHT

Farkle walks Isadora to the front stoop of the fancy hotel Valerie is staying at, although she tells him that he didn’t have to. He claims as her date it was his duty -- even if their arrangement wasn’t exactly by choice.

Isadora: Well, impressively, I did actually have fun.

Farkle: Oh?

Isadora: Yes. I don’t expect the enchantment to last past midnight, but it was fun while it lasted. [ a beat ] I suppose I’m glad that I had to babysit tonight.

Farkle rolls his eyes. Isadora looks at him for a long moment, and then stands on her tip-toes to give him a quick kiss on the cheek.

He blinks, obviously not expecting it. After a moment he kind of smiles, caught between a confused frown and a pleasantly surprised smile. He looks at her, narrowing his eyes.

She gives him no explanation. She just tilts her head in a nod and marches through the revolving door, leaving him on the sidewalk. He glances up at the building, smile widening as he spins on his heel and saunters down the street.

INT. PROM VENUE - NIGHT

Clarissa and Haley are just wrapping up a performance, dismounting the stage as Harper heads up to the microphone. She warms up the crowd by asking how everyone is enjoying prom, which is met with resounding cheers. The time has come, she announces, for the crowning of their junior and senior prom court!

Amidst the cheers, Charlie shifts his focus to Riley next to him. She’s zoned out, glancing over her shoulder and not paying any attention. Looking for someone who isn’t going to be there, no matter how many times she looks.

After a moment, he elbows her lightly.

Charlie: You should go.

Riley: What? What do you mean?

Charlie: I appreciate what you did for me tonight. But we both know… you don’t want to be here. Not really. [ nodding towards the door ] So you should go. Don’t waste the rest of your night on me.

Riley examines him, thoughtful. Then she smiles, taking his arm and leaning forward to give him a kiss on the cheek. She squeezes his arm.

Riley: Never a waste.

Then she’s gone, weaving her way through the crowd and on a mission. Charlie watches her go, and when he turns back to the crowd and the excitement of the senior prom court being announced he suddenly feels very detached. Like he’s a fish out of water, as if he shouldn’t even be there at all.

It’s claustrophobic. Charlie starts to push his way through the crowd as well, searching for an exit. Needing to get out of there.

From where he’s waiting with Maya, Zay notices Charlie’s frantic escape. He frowns, hesitating for only a moment before darting out after him. Only Maya notices him go, looking after him in confusion.

Maya, in a whisper: Zay. Zay!

He’s already gone. And her attention is stolen anyway, as Harper gets a drum roll going for the announcement of junior prom queen and king. It goes, unsurprisingly… to Maya and Zay!

Only Zay is nowhere to be found. Lucky for him, Maya is an expert showman and covers as if it’s nothing. She hops up onto stage and happily accepts, claiming her king had to dip out for a moment and she’ll be accepting both on his behalf.

Once she’s found a way to balance both crowns on her little blonde head, she takes to the microphone and gives a small speech about what an honor it is to be selected. And in return, tonight, she’ll give them a prom slow dance really worth remembering. As the track cues up --

Song Cue ♫ ♪ “At Last” as performed by Beyoncé || Performed by Maya Hart

As obnoxious as she is, there is no doubt about the fact that Maya Hart can sing. Her vocals are damn good on the romantic classic, truly creating a perfect final slow dance for the evening. And she’s milking every second of it, glamorous as ever in her elegant gown and dual crown glory.

EXT. PARKING LOT - NIGHT

Charlie has made his way to a mostly vacant section of the parking lot, inhaling as much fresh air as he can. He holds his breath, then lets it out, fighting off whatever strange panic was prickling at him.

It doesn’t truly fade until Zay joins him, approaching casually and claiming that he’s missing Maya’s big performance. Isn’t that what he came all the way out to prom for anyway? Charlie can’t help but laugh, even though the vibe between them is still uncertain.

Charlie: Oh, naturally. Everything’s about Maya Hart, after all.

Zay: Absolutely everything, yeah.

Charlie: [ just looking at him ] … shouldn’t you be in there too, then? Far as I recall, you were her running mate.

Zay, with a shrug: I didn’t really care much about it.

Zay is stepping closer with every word that passes between them.

Charlie: … no?

Zay: Nah. I mean, can’t blame Maya though. She knows how to pick a winning candidate.

Charlie: Well, no arguments here. Sure you don’t want to get your crown, though? Think that would be a nice prize regardless.

They’re standing right in front of each other. Zay swallows, meeting his eyes.

Zay: I can think of something better.

Charlie lets that sink in, not sure how to respond. Knowing that they’re the way they are for a reason… but then there he is, right there in front of him…

Zay doesn’t ask for much. He gently takes Charlie’s hands, pulling him towards him and into a slow dance. There in the parking lot, alone, where nobody else is going to bother them.

Charlie is stiff at first, then slowly he relaxes into it. The familiarity, the ease, the way they seem to just naturally fit together... especially when it comes to dancing.

Still, something in his expression is conflicted. It’s obvious he loves it -- being so close to Zay, sharing anything with him regardless of what their status is -- but then that’s the problem, isn’t it? As long as Charlie is around him, he’s never going to be able to let it go. They’re going to keep drifting back to each other like this, and Zay is never going to be able to move forward.

Charlie realizes all of that… and yet.

For now, he chooses to live in the moment. He tilts his head against Zay’s shoulder and chooses to soak it up for all it’s worth, the dance and the closeness and the way he continues to choose him, even when he pushes him away.

Everything else, he can deal with another day.

INT. VALERIE’S HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT

Isadora has changed back into more comfortable clothes, Valerie hanging her dress up so that it stays nice and unruffled. After all the hard work Stella McCartney put into it, she would hate for it to only survive one use!

Then Valerie settles on the bed with Isadora, telling her the good news. The paperwork went through -- they’re on their way. She just has some things she needs to go wrap up last minute in Los Angeles, and then they’re going to do it. They’re going to be a proper mother and daughter, she’ll move to the city, and everything is going to change. For the better, she’s sure.

Isadora is stunned just to hear it said -- she can’t begin to wrap her head around it in reality. But she manages action, leaning forward to initiate a hug with Valerie.

She hugs her back, tight, so excited about the next steps they’ll be taking together.

INT. LUCAS’S APARTMENT - LUCAS’S BEDROOM - NIGHT

Well, for only a night’s work, Lucas has made substantial progress on organizing his hell bedroom. You can actually see the floor now in most places, which is a step up. Maybe one solution to not having horrible mental health is to not feel like you’re living in an abandoned storage closet. Music is playing from his phone, shuffling the playlist Riley made him last year.

He finishes clearing the floor by the actual closet door, finding Riley’s gala shawl. He holds it in his hands, delicately, trying to decide what to do with it. It’s survived this long, in spite of all the times he’s thought about destroying it -- to get rid of it now would almost be a disservice.

He’s distracted from the decision for now, his phone buzzing. He settles onto his bed, putting the shawl to the side towards his pillow and opening the message.

Song Cue ♫ ♪ “Ebony Eyes” as performed by Jamie Scott || Instrumental

It’s from Dylan, a group picture of the techie crew in the midst of the glitz of prom. The caption underneath it is simple and to the point -- “We miss you!!!!!!!”

Lucas can’t help but smile, but after a moment it shifts to something more muted. The disappointment is clear on his face now, fully realizing how much he might be missing out on. How much he’s missed out on for the entire year, while he was busy fighting to survive his own personal hurricane. And there’s no way to get that back -- there’s no way to know if it’ll ever stop hurricaning, given how up in the air everything feels.

He’s distracted once again from his own internal musing, this time by creaking from outside his window. At first he glances towards his door, worried it might be someone coming home, but an additional creaking confirms it’s coming from outside. It’s coming from the fire escape.

Cautiously, Lucas gets to his feet, edging towards his window. He nearly jumps out of his skin when Riley appears from the ladder below, scrappily climbing her way up to his level.

EXT. LUCAS’S APARTMENT - LUCAS’S FIRE ESCAPE - NIGHT

Lucas scrambles out the window to meet her, eyes wide in disbelief. She smiles at him as he emerges and she manages to pull herself fully onto the fire escape. There’s barely room for them both to stand, Lucas taking her arm and pulling her as far from the window -- and his apartment -- as possible.

Lucas: What the hell are you doing here?

Riley blinks at him, trying to catch up with her own choice of actions. She’s changed out of her fancy gown, hair and makeup still done up but having opted for a pair of high-waisted jeans and a thrifted tee. Better attire for building scaling, at least.

She explains that she couldn’t stop thinking about him and how he was missing out, so she decided to bring some of the fun to him. She shrugs off her backpack, unzipping it and showing off some of the snacks and movies and junk she threw in there along with her laptop. She didn’t have a lot of specific ideas, or anything, she just thought… who knows. She just knew she wanted to be here.

Lucas is in shock. He can’t believe any person would ditch prom without some other grand plan, and definitely not for him.

Lucas: That’s… that’s nice, but you shouldn’t have to do this. You should be at prom, having fun. Least of all worrying about me.

Riley, shaking her head: Wasn’t the same without you.

Oh. Well then. Riley glances towards his room, recognizing the music playing and smiling to herself. She comments that at least he has good tunes to get him through the night, and the slower, rustic song playing now is better than about half of the songs they played at the dance.

In fact… she did say she was going to bring the evening to him…

Dropping her backpack by the window, Riley cautiously takes Lucas’s hands. When he doesn’t complain, she gently guides him into a dance of their own -- a promenade on six square feet of metal with a shitty outdated iPhone speaker acting as the DJ.

Even still, it might be the most authentically romantic duet of the night. The music quality shifts and improves to be more encompassing as they settle into the dance, once again supplemented by that fantastical quality of the evening. Secluded enough for Lucas to ease into it, more intimate than a room full of their peers would allow.

After a minute or so, Riley adjusts their posture and presses their foreheads together. For how soft the moment is, the energy between them may as well be electric. They’re inches apart, one or two breaths and a bold choice away from another kiss. And maybe they could…

But not tonight. Not yet.

Riley shifts and rests her head against his shoulder, Lucas closing his eyes and tilting his head against hers.

For now, what they have in this moment together is enough.

INT. AAA - ATRIUM - DAY

Crazy how in the aftermath of such a whimsical weekend, life is expected to proceed as normal. Jack is in good spirits as he jogs his way into the school building later than usual, pushing through the doors at the same time as Lucas. Lucas comments on his late showing.

Jack: You know, for all the times you’ve shown up to class tardy with no good excuse, I think you can zip it on this one.

Touché. Jack does remember to thank Lucas for his help with Farkle and Isadora though, expressing that it was a big help. He asks how he spent the rest of his evening -- aside from the crystal meth.

Lucas, nonchalantly: Nothing much. And you?

Jack: Got kicked out of a bowling alley.

Lucas: … fun. Respect.

Jack grins, nodding him on his way. He makes his way back into the office…

INT. AAA - JACK’S OFFICE - DAY

Where the real world is waiting for him. Jack is surprised by the gift-wrapped item on his desk -- until reality slams into him like a freight train. He drops his briefcase and jogs towards it, lifting the ribbon-bound local newspaper into his hands.

There it is. The Bradford case, front page Monday morning news. Likely paid a fortune to make it front page news, if he knows his adversaries.

It’s officially gone public. The fantasy is over. Another day has arrived, and now it’s time to deal with all of the challenges ahead.

Now, it’s time to take action. For better or for worse.

END OF EPISODE.

[orionsangel86]

Pamela Barnes - The Angel on Dean’s Shoulder

Steve Yokey definitely enjoys irony. Because in an episode called Nihilism nothing was without meaning. 14x10 was more layered than an onion and whilst I would agree with my friends that on a surface level it seems pretty straight forward, every time I have re-watched it I have been struck with some other epiphany or thought at how this beautifully weaved web of an episode is so important for Dean Winchester.

Pamela’s reappearance was one of those threads of silken webbing I have been desperate to unravel and discuss with you. Pamela is the first character we are introduced to in Dean’s head, before we even see the man himself. Solidifying her importance and encouraging us to pay attention. Pamela makes a joke about the end days, and how bittersweet is it knowing that the real Pamela died during them, we are encouraged to remember the events of her life and death in the show. They were all connected to Angels.

The first question to ask is why her? Of all the characters we have met that could be keeping Dean company in his own mind, why is Pam the character chosen? What is significant about Pam?

This is revealed to us not too subtly pretty quickly into the dream sequence. She is psychic. She was always able to break through Dean’s barriers when she was alive and he couldn’t lie to her. In this dream world, she acts as his voice of reason, his guardian. She is the part of him that speaks the truth, the things he cannot say himself.

She was also a key character in his introduction to Castiel and the world of angels. This dream version of Pamela has Castiel all over her:

Her top literally says “to hell and back”. She wears a necklace with obvious wings. Everything about her is calling back to Dean and Cas’s first meeting. She is a call back to Season 4 in herself – a season the writers are telling us to remember right now.

It may only be a short conversation, but this is extremely important:

“I’m heading out for a hot date.”

“How come you always have a boyfriend?”

“How come you only want what you can’t have? Besides you don’t want me. You just like to flirt. I’m psychic so I kinda know.”

To anyone out there still thinking Dean is a ladies man who desperately wants to hook up with all the gorgeous women in his life – I hope you are extremely confused and stay that way until you realise just how wrong you are.

We need to take it at face value that everything Pam says is a truth about Dean - she’s psychic and therefore she knows, so we can’t dismiss her claims.

“How come you only want what you can’t have?” she asks. This being the first truth. Dean wants things he feels that are unattainable to him. (this aligns nicely with the wider dream world and Dean’s constant mantra that this bar is his dream. Sure Jan. This may be a dream for him, but it doesn’t fulfill his wants and desires, those are things he can’t even allow himself in dream worlds. But this discussion is for a different meta). 

She then clarifies specifically in relation to herself: “You don’t want me, you just like to flirt.” Also a truth. Dean may have enjoyed flirting with Pam, but he never really desired her romantically. We can also apply this to many other women that Dean has flirted with throughout the show. There has to be an in-universe reason why he’s never ended up with any of them right? This here is the reason. He is a flirt, even with Daphne in Scoobynatural, but he never truly wanted Daphne. Just look at what his mind added to the bar:

Isn’t it kind of sad that even in Dean’s dream he doesn’t allow himself love? That he would parade his rejections in plain sight? Pam has a boyfriend, Daphne has Fred. Or is it really that this Dean is being honest with himself? He never wanted Pam, he never wanted Daphne. The rejections in the bar are his way of reminding himself of this. So what does Dean want? That is what this entire dream sequence boils down to? What does Dean want?

In 14x01 the question “what do you want?” was repeated three times, making it a pattern. Driving it into the audiences mind as a season theme. This episode finally encourages the audience to ask that question of Dean. Unfortunately it doesn’t give us a clear answer. But by putting the question there for the audience to ponder on means it has to be answered at some point. Which is an exciting thing for us.

One thing that was clear, is that as Cas said, Pamela is a complex manifestation used to distract Dean, but she doesn’t give him what he truly wants. Pam speaks the truth in that Dean doesn’t want HER, but she is coded as such that on a subtextual level she is a stand in for Castiel. Castiel who Dean views as unattainable. Castiel who in this dream is out there on a hunt with Sam and not spending time with Dean. Dean stays in the bar waiting for them to return with only Pam for company.

If we peel back the layers we start to see what Dean would prefer. Not Pam, but Cas. Like the Cosmic Cowboy IPA that Dean went to Austin to get apparently, that he knows Sam and Cas will love, because he clearly loves it himself.

There is only one Cosmic Cowboy in Supernatural, the rebel angel who went to hell and back, and gave up his wings for Dean.  

[arabellaflynn]

I am not drunk enough for this entry.

I am stuck on a thing. Not because I don't know what to write, but because I have no idea why I'm writing it. I used to not care, but then Colbert said a thing in an interview about working "with intent" and now I feel wholly inadequate because that seems like an important step that I keep skipping.

I also don't normally care about conforming to other people's processes, but everything I've seen of his is a terrifyingly accurate mirror of how I do these things. I tripped over this a while ago, which is a reel of BTS/raw footage from an interview he did (in character) when Jon Stewart was asked to host the Oscars. They clearly told him what they wanted to talk about when they called him up, but also clearly did not bother to hash out a script, so he's running the character improv. There's a bit near the end where he knows what the character's response would be, but hasn't quite settled on how to phrase it, so he just runs it over and over, tweaking the phrasing and diction, until he gets a take he likes. 

If any of you ever wondered what my editing process looked like, there it is. I sit in the corner and talk to myself -- or, when available, rats -- until I get a sequence of noises that sounds like an essay. The typing part is just transcription. I've tried using voice-to-text, but OK Google and Cortana are both various shades of bluenose. Google Assistant won't read the swear words back to you if they occur in the text, but Cortana won't even admit she knows how to spell them. Although she must do, because she always gets the number of asterisks right.

Colbert writes his jokes for the day by front-loading the past 24 hours of news-cycle crap into his head on the drive to work. He quotes huge wadges of poetry, play dialogue, Scripture and Tolkien off the top of his head, spontaneously and at such length that he has to either be reading it off an eidetic snapshot of the page or playing the audio back in his head. He pops in and out of character like it's on a single-throw switch. He once landed a part that involved playing French horn, an instrument he had never touched before, so he cadged one from the company and taught himself in a week. He's told people he doesn't speak Spanish "that well", which seems to mean he understands it fine but can't spit it out fast enough to sound like himself. He took a Meyers-Briggs test on his show once and came out INFP, which I could have told you from the way he dodged every single question of even remotely personal import. Most of the self-editing he does when he hosts things is not for content, but for focus, keeping himself externally-oriented rather than falling back to rattle around in his own head. He spent his childhood fucking breaking standardized tests, until a major life event alerted him to the cosmic unimportance of school, at which point he stuffed his nose into a book and ignored it. He is all over the friends who let him do that, he tells people he loves them point-blank in front of the camera, and if you think I harp on that a lot, you should see him do it -- I don't have my props department print nice framed photos to show the audience in case they don't know what I'm asking the guest about. He almost seems to find it easier to work without a script than with one, to the point where he once stood up on stage, tired, cranky, drunkish, and probably on the verge of tears, and delivered a nine-minute completely extemporaneous monologue, 100% live to undelayed broadcast, that came together more cohesively than most people's multi-draft polished writing.

[In re: The standardized tests. He describes here being given an exam one-on-one where the administering teacher was timing his responses. That is some sort of childhood aptitude test -- the Stanford-Binet IQ test is mainly aimed at adults, so it was more likely a WISC, or the new-at-the-time WISC-R. The score on those is calculated not just from the number of correct answers you give, but the speed at which you spit those answers out. In the segment of tape they play, little Stevie is answering faster than the teacher can even deal with the stopwatch. This alone would knock his IQ score quite easily over 130, the threshold of "Extremely High" intelligence on the WISC scale, and also the point at which they stop giving you real numbers and just regard you with a mix of trepidation and awe. I ought to know; breaking the scoring algorithm on those things was also one of my childhood hobbies.

If your first thought upon reading that is, "130? Really? That low?" then congratulations. You also broke that test.]

Whenever I make observations like this, my knee-jerk reaction is, "That cannot possibly be right." Surely I am misinterpreting the context or the import of what the other person is doing, or my self-assessment of the level of similarity is inaccurate. And it makes no difference here whether I'm watching a celebrity on TV or just some rando who happens to have intersected my life -- I am so accustomed to being the alien that it knocks me completely off balance to see things I recognize. It doesn't mean people don't like me fine, but it does mean they don't generally grok my thought processes very well. It is discomfiting to see another person show so many of the same tells I know I have, not because I have flagged them internally, but because other people have alerted me to them over the years by remarking on the things I do without thinking. 

Colbert is doing all of this in a very public forum, where I can see other people's equally public reactions to it. It brings up the uncomfortable question of whether people react the same when I do these things, and I just don't know it because there isn't a YouTube comments page on my life.

I don't have heroes. I don't even really have role models. What I do have is a long list of people I think it would be useful to steal from. Clearly I should be stealing a lot from this guy.

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[tedlyanderson]

Annotations for Adventure Time: Beginning of the End issue 3!

Did you enjoy my annotations for issue one and issue two of this miniseries? If so, good news! (If not, shove off!) I have annotations for the third issue, right here waiting for your lovely eyes! Obviously, as with the previous posts, this will have great big massive spoilers for the issue, so take that into consideration. Please enjoy, my pals!

Pages 2&3: Okay, there’s a lot to unpack on these pages, haha. First and foremost is a reference to something other than Adventure Time for once: Jake’s monologue on these pages is a loose reference to one of the very best issues of classic Fantastic Four, number 51, “This Man ... This Monster!” In that issue, among other events, Reed Richards travels through the Negative Zone and muses to himself about the nature of reality:

There are cameos on these pages from a bunch of the “cosmic” things of the AT universe, including the Catalyst Comet, the Lich, a copy of the Enchiridion,  Glob Grob Gob Grod, the Finn Sword, and Prismo (in a rare 3-dimensional appearance). There’s also a herd of Time Lards with clocks on their bellies.

Also in this image, note the most minor and in-jokey reference in this entire series: the satellite on the middle-left with the word “FELIS” on it. In the episode “Fionna and Cake and Fionna,” someone asks Ice King where he gets the ideas for his Fionna and Cake stories, and he replies that they’re “beamed into [his] melon every night.” Later that episode, we see him sleeping as a pink laser zaps into his head, carrying images of Fionna and Cake. I chose to interpret this as a reference to one of my favorite authors, Philip K. Dick, who believed that he was receiving knowledge in the form of an information-rich pink laser beam from a satellite called VALIS. So this satellite, FELIS (get it? like cats?), is the source of the Fionna and Cake stories—in my version of the universe, anyway.

Page 4, panel 4: Chronologius Rex declares that he is the lord of Time, not meatloaf. Meatloaf has been established multiple times as Finn’s favorite food.

Page 5: And here we come to the crux of this issue: Finn’s possible futures. Issue 1 of this series was about Finn’s past, issue 2 was about his present, so naturally issue 3 is all about his futures. Obviously none of these should be taken as “canon;” I just came up with three possible paths Finn might take based on what we’ve seen him do throughout the series. I’ll explain my thinking after the third sequence.

All three of the futures are color-coded—the Candy Knight future is pink, obviously.

Page 6: I love Mari’s designs for Queen Bubblegum—the high ‘80s shoulders are great! My suggestion for Old Peppermint Butler was that he be smoother and shinier, as if he’s a candy that’s been sucked on for too long.

In panel 2, the “Dinner Kingdom” is kind of a half-reference to the Breakfast Kingdom in present Ooo.

And in panel 5, note old Finn’s Jake medallion.

Page 7, panel 4: I am not sorry for the “bunch” of banana soldiers joke.

Page 8, panel 1: Beards are indeed a factor in many of Finn’s futures: pretty much every time we’ve seen an older or artificially-aged Finn, he’s got a beard of some sort. I continue the trend in this issue.

Page 8, panel 5: This is a futuristic version of Founders’ Island, the main human settlement outside of Ooo, fixed up and fully repaired. The implication is that Finn not only returned to the human islands, he also helped fix the place up.

The color scheme for the Teacher Finn future is blue, connecting with the water and sky surrounding them.

Page 9, panel 2: I love Teacher Finn’s design so, so much, you guys. I described him as a lovable old professor, someone with his mother’s compassion and his father’s roguish charm, and Mari knocked it out of the park. Note his Jake hat.

Page 9, panel 3: “Homies help homies: always!” is the Adventure Time philosophy in a nutshell.

Page 9, panel 5: Note that Finn is still using his old, trusty sword Scarlett in this future. She’s even more nicked and battle-scarred, but I’m sure she’s still good in a fight.

Page 10, panel 2: Dodging eggs while fighting was part of Finn’s training from Rattleballs in his eponymous episode.

Page 10, panel 2: When it came to Finn’s human wife, I told Mari to make her look a little bit like a human version of Flame Princess. I figured Finn if has a type, it’s her!

Page 11: The third and final possible future is the Space Captain Finn future, which is green-themed for no particular reason. This future is based on the idea that Finn and his Candy Kingdom pals team up with the remaining humans to build a spaceship to take them away from Earth, which is about as likely as anything else in Adventure Time, haha.

Everything in this sequence is of course heavily inspired by Star Trek: the Next Generation, a show that I love and grew up watching. The Minerva A.I. is the ship’s computer, obviously, warning of “excessive sparks detected on bridge.” Jake is Finn’s right-hand-man, just like Riker was to Picard (and Finn even calls him “numero uno,” like Picard’s “number one”). Lady Rainicorn is the equivalent of counselor Troi, Fern is a bit like Data, and Jake’s skateboarding granddaughter Bronwyn is the hotshot kid pilot, like Wesley. Princess Bubblegum is the engineering chief—she always struck me as preferring the role of scientist rather than royalty, frankly—assisted by Frieda and BMO. Flame Princess, upgraded to Plasma Princess, powers the ship as a whole. And Finn himself sports a beard similar to Commander Riker’s—which is appropriate, as a future version of Finn was voiced by Riker’s actor, Jonathan Frakes!

When coming up with these futures, I thought about what the Finn we knew might be most drawn to doing, and boiled it down to three major options: fighting and defending (the Candy Knight future), teaching and training (the Teacher Finn future), or exploring and leading (Space Captain Finn). For what it’s worth, I don’t really have a preference, or any opinions on which future is most likely—one of the strengths of Adventure Time has always been finding ways to surprise its audience with something that makes total sense in retrospect. If Finn does have a “canonical” future, it’s probably something I would never have thought of, but which makes perfect sense.

Page 11, panel 4: Princess Bubblegum yet again mentions “zanoits,” which are maybe some kind of mysterious particle? It’s a funny word and deserves to be used more often.

Page 12, panel 1: I mentioned in my annotations for the previous issue that I felt bad making Susan revert to her simpler speech patterns, since by this point in the series she’s perfectly capable of using big words. I tried to make it up to her by making her the ship’s communications officer, who would use big words all the time.

Additionally, the “Tuffbone sector” is a reference to Meredith Gran’s Adventure Time miniseries, Marceline: Gone Adrift. In that series, Marceline explores space and meets other races, including the Tuffbones, dog-like alien critters.

Page 12, panel 2: Note that Shelby (the worm who lives in Jake’s viola) is wearing a bandolier similar to Worf’s. I was particularly proud of that idea, haha.

Page 12, panel 4: Jake’s exclamation of “Outrageous!” is a reference to another role by his voice actor, John DiMaggio: it’s the catchphrase of Aquaman, from the Batman: the Brave and the Bold series.

Page 16, panel 3: A “dead world” is another bit of unexplored Adventure Time lore: they’re apparently where people go when they die, but they’re not quite the afterlife as we think of it? Or it is, but there’s a lot of them, like at least fifty? Unclear.

Page 16, panel 4: I had to work in the title of the show somehow.

Page 17, panel 3: I wanted to make sure I referenced my favorite song from the show, “Everything Stays” by Rebecca Sugar, and this seemed like the perfect time to bring it up, as Jake discusses the inevitability of change.

Page 17, panel 4: When I described this panel in the script, I specifically mentioned the series Neon Genesis Evangelion, one of the weirder depictions of the end of the world you can find. I love the image of the enormous stone blocks sinking into an endless sea.

Page 18, panel 5: Chronologius’s epithet for Jake, “starchild,” references Jake’s actual origin as a half-alien creature. I checked the dates, and apparently I finished the script for this issue just a couple weeks after the episode “Jake the Starchild” aired, in which Jake’s parentage was fully revealed.

Pages 20-21: Finn’s final “confrontation” with Chronologius might feel a bit underwhelming—essentially, all he does is convince Chronologius to give them an opportunity to escape. There’s no big battle, no war of wits; it’s already been established that Chronologius is basically invulnerable, so it’s not like Finn could beat him in a fight. It’s not terribly exciting, but that’s kind of the point: over the course of this issue, Chronologius becomes more sympathetic to Finn and his plight, particularly after seeing all the good he did (and might have done) in the world. So it’s less about beating up some big bad dude, and more about convincing someone to act like a pal. In a way, Finn beats Chronologius by making him into a friend.

Would it have been better if the ending was more exciting, action-packed, crazy-style? Maybe! Looking back on it, I feel like I could have given Mari more chances to do cool art stuff—the first half of this issue has some pretty far-out sequences and nifty new things to draw, but the second half is basically three characters talking against a mostly boring background. Thematically I feel like it’s better to have Finn succeed by befriending the villain, rather than just punching his lights out, but it definitely doesn’t have the same visual impact. Overall, I’m still proud of it, but that doesn’t mean it couldn’t be improved.

That’s it for issue three! Join me next time for—issue four?!? Yes! This three-part miniseries is in fact a four-part miniseries, ending with Finn and Jake’s adventures through time! Look forward to it, my chums!

[davidmann95]

Can you explain the bleed to me? I don't entirely get it? Is it where world in the multiverse come from?

Created by Warren Ellis for Wildstorm and fleshed out by Grant Morrison as a central unifying aspect of the DCU, the Bleed…in terms of creating and sustaining life, it’s less the conception than the womb, so to speak. In much the way two-dimensional (for the sake of the metaphor) lilypads float on the surface of a three-dimensional lake, three-dimensional universes float in the four-dimensional* medium of the Bleed, where they and the stories they themselves birth grow and sustain themselves;** Bleed is noted quite explicitly as the substance that gives life to stories. Morrison pushed the metaphor all the way in Final Crisis where he revealed the cosmically-attuned Monitors know it as ‘Ultramenstruum’, directly equating it to menstrual blood specifically and hence the growth/birth process.

* One of my favorite bits in Morrison and Mahnke’s Superman Beyond is when Superman perceives the Bleed by accessing “4-D Vision”, turning his eyes red and green much like the 3D glasses the reader is wearing, as the portions of the book in ‘Bleedspace’ are presented as 3D comics. Because Superman thinks he’s 3D but is really 2D as a figure on a piece of paper, and therefore his 4D is our 3D!

** This also directly connects to a profoundly influential spiritual experience/drug trip (though he claims to have had no more than ‘a bit’ of hash immediately prior to it) in Kathmandu where Morrison says he seemed to experience being abducted from reality by chrome, angelic higher-dimensional beings that grow our universe and others like it in cocoons of time so they can pass their larval stage and become angels themselves (since as they explained, while they as higher-dimensional beings are not subject to time, it is necessary for growth and so they rear their young within it). This experience not only shaped his seminal The Invisibles but formed the backbone of the Monitor mythology that’s weaved through some of his DC work, platonic higher-dimensional beings beyond time who watch over the worlds of the multiverse which, subject to time themselves, eventually create sequences of events and thereby stories, a feat the Monitors were incapable of until observing us/the DCU and becoming ‘contaminated’ by narrative and growth.

EDIT: Anonymous said: You’re missing the joke with the Bleed. The bleed is the publishing term for the area between pages that will be trimmed. So the bleed is the area between comic pages, just as The Bleed is the area between comic realities.

Oh DUH, right. I had heard this before, but it completely slipped my mind while writing this up.

[bewareofchris]

@chamiryokuroi, i have so many feelings and so few of them are good that i almost don’t want to go into it on the internet.  but,

(This turned into a dissertation) OBVIOUSLY THERE ARE INFINITY WAR SPOILERS BELOW THIS POINT.

first off let me say that I walked into this movie with the expectation that marvel was going to behave in a predictable marvel way.  and what exactly is a predictably marvel way to act?

Cap is the Hero, Tony tries but fails, Thor can’t understand that reference but he’s super powerful, for reasons unknown powers that worked yesterday fail today, a critical part of the plot hinges upon a relationship or a decision that the audience hasn’t had enough time to form a bond with and so the critical emotional peak of the movie falls flat

so what happened in Infinity War?

Lets get started by saying that I don’t honestly care if Loki dies, but I am 100% disappointed that he didn’t have a better plan, more action or a real shot at doing anything.  I mean.  This little shit is basically a cockroach that’s been alive forever and he’s done all kinds of shit in that time but the BEST IDEA he had was to try to stab Thanos right in his stupid face?  

I see that the Bifrost works however it wants now.  Good to know.  

WOULD YOU FUCKING MAKE UP YOUR FUCKING MIND ABOUT TONY FUCKING STARK’S GLOWING FUCKING CHEST MY DUDE.

Look, I don’t think its a leap for Tony to wear nanobots and a hoodie that turns into a suit.  I think that’s 100% in character, but Marvel you’re a bunch of morons that took the shiny thing out of Tony’s chest several movies ago you can’t just show up now and act like that didn’t happen because he looks better with it.  This is like 0% relative and 100% nitpicky but it’s part of a greater Marvel Realized That Was Silly So They Changed It and Acted LIke We Wouldn’t Notice issue.

Bruce exists in this movie basically as a cheap joke and a town crier.  THANOS IS COMING, THANOS IS COMING.  Its like someone in the group writer meeting was like: dude, the Hulk is too much.  We’ve literally seen the Hulk take on everything.  We’ve established he’s undefeatable.  We can’t go back now.  How are we going to deal with the Hulk being a thing?  And the guy sitting next to him, balancing a pencil on his nose was like IDK what if we just like, inexplicably and for no reason we ever need to explain, make the Hulk not show up?  What if the Hulk gets hurt or scared by Thanos?  And he doesn’t show up?  OH DUDE then Bruce can use an Iron Man suit and we’ll do the trailers and make it look like the whole group is there!  

You know else is too fucking powerful to let loose too early in the movie?  Thor.  You know they did this in Age of Ultron too, they were like: lets give him a vision of Ragnorok and send him to a sparkle pool to take his shirt off and see things, so he could not be present when Cap was fighting Ultron.  Here they send him off with a Rabbit (this genuinely amused me no lie) and Groot.  And Thor speaks Groot.  A language he learned in high school.  He’s 1500 years old.  How does he remember high school Groot?  but that’s not important, what is important is that he’s off on a side quest waking up some dead star to forge some Thanos-killing weapon because as we see in the final battle as soon as Thor shows up looking hella fine, the show is basically over.

COULD SOMEONE PLEASE SLAP THE FUCK OUT OF STEVE GOD DAMN ROGERS.  Look, I understand that its upsetting when someone randomly suggests that killing themselves is the only way to save the planet but Rogers, if you aren’t the single most annoying hypocrite that ever walked the earth.  (At least the movie did point this out.  At least it did that.)  “We don’t trade lives?”  FUCK YOU STEVE.  It was ONE FUCKING LIFE versus HALF THE FUCKING UNIVERSE.  Everyone can do that math.  One Life < Half the Universe.  SEE, THE OPEN MOUTH GOES TOWARD TEH BIGGER NUMBER YOU SANCTIMONIOUS FUCK.

Honestly, Steve at the end, collapsing as he said ‘oh God’ is the only part of the entire MCU wherein Steve seems to sort of grasp that just because he wants the world to work a certain way doesn’t mean it will.  I hate to be a petty bitch but I’m 100% okay with everyone dying because at least Captain Fucking Rogers was wrong AND THE STORY CANNOT DENY IT.

This is going out of order, I’m sorry.

Lets talk about Thanos.  I actually liked Thanos.  I bear him no ill will.  He’s completely insane, but he’s doing what he thinks must be done for the greater good.  (*COUGH* THE SAFEST HANDS ARE STILL OUR OWN */COUGH*)  He is consistently insane which is nice.

but honestly.  I mean, honestly, if this bastard was this set on doing this shit and this capable of it, why the fuck didn’t he show up earlier?  Was it because he didn’t know where all the stones were?  I feel like it’s been a couple of movies now that he should have known where most of them were?  Why not collect them one at a time?  Why not send out his assortment of assassins to collect them individually?  He could have gotten all of the not-earth stones and then shown up to the party like HAHA BITCHES GUESS WHO THE FUCK I AM and 0 people would have known.

but this way is good too.  I guess.

This plot hinges entire on a string of inconveniences.  If not for bad timing, this series of events would not have unfolded in this way.  I try not to get bitchy about conveniences because things happen in real life that would seem a lot like the cosmic writer whose dictating our lives never took a writing class, BUT if it progresses your story and makes things easier for you (the writer) to accomplish what the plot (and not necessarily the characters) needs/wants to happen next it’s lazy.

The iris mechanism breaking?

Thanos having already found the reality stone?

Gamora secretly being the only thing he loves?

Nebula only escaping after it’s too late?

Cap’s abilities being literally ‘whatever the story needs, is he mortal, is he not?’

Bruce and Hulk’s domestic issue

Dr. Strange apparently being able to not only tolerate 14 million alternate futures but also remember them with enough confidence to make decisions for everyone without consulting them

Everything that happened when Quill found out about Gamora

The end part where the axe to the chest didn’t stop Thanos

the convenient core-member survival of the Avengers

I truly believe in my heart that Marvel decided to kill Black Panther before they realized how popular that movie and character would be and fuck them.  

While we’re at it.  Fuck them for that whole thing.  Like I get that T’Challa was leading his people, but the movie is framed in a way where he’s kind of an afterthought?  

They definitely underestimated him, that’s all I’m saying.  And Shuri.

THEY MISUSED THEM.  THEY DID NOT TREAT THEM FAIRLY.

Look, I love Tony and I”m super happy that the MCU finally, finally stopped treating him like he was insane.  Don’t get me wrong here, having Thanos show up and having Tony be like I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS is great.

What’s not great?  Is the fact that Tony who literally has been waiting for this this whole time suddenly had very little back up plan?  He had enough time to send Peter Parker a suit but he didn’t have a trove of alternate suits, or weapons, or anything that he could have sent along with it?  I know he had a few minutes to think but ALIENS ARE INVADING IS LITERALLY THE THING HE’S BEEN FRETTING ABOUT SINCE AVENGERS 1.

I’m just saying, they could have had him be slightly more prepared.  

Having said that, Tony was amazing.  

One of the best parts of the movie is that twenty seconds where it looks like he’s having a stroke when he realizes he’s working with idiots.

WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU LET THEM GET THE GAUNTLET OFF IF YOU WERE JUST GOING TO HAVE QUILL FREAK OUT?

No I’ll tell you.  Because it’s Marvel.  

Honestly that fight V. Thanos in space was amazing.  10/10.  Until Quill.

I have never been more furious about anything in my life than I was about Thanos trying to smash Steve Rogers into the ground and being unable to.  Like, even his face seemed to be conveying some kind of ‘what is this bullshit happening before me’ 

(IS HE MORTAL?  IS HE NOT?)

I also hated Steve’s shields, but I appreciate that they went with a pointy design so that he could more directly murder his helpless victims in combat.  Someone needs to introduce Steve to Jeff Goldblum because I feel like he’d either invite Cap to join the harem or the gladiators or both and it would be glorious either way.

Gamora’s death shouldn’t have won the soul stone because Thanos is a piece of shit.  He’s nuts.  The Soul Stone should have just thrown her back up there while laughing hysterically something like “AHAHAHA MY MAN, YOU’RE A PSYCHO, HAHAHA, YOU DON’T LOVE ANYTHING.”

That moment when you realize that if even one thing had changed in this movie the entire sequence of events would collapse.  That moment.

Also, how the living fuck did Tony live through getting impaled?  How?  HOW.

Dr. Strange: LET TONY LIVE Thanos: like, aren’t you a medical doctor? Dr. Strange: yes, but that’s not important Thanos: I’m not a medical doctor, like I’m just a crazy man, but he is definitely definitely dead. Dr. Strange: ok, yes, but. Thanos: no wait, I’m just--you’re really going to give up the time stone, a stone that as of this moment is basically impossible to get off you, just because you want Tony to live?  He’s definitely going to die.  I stuck this whole sharp thing through him. Dr. Strange: I KNOW IT SEEMS UNLIKELY BUT ROBERT DOWNEY JR SELLS MOVIES, OK.  HE’S ADORABLE. Thanos:  ...whatever dude.  Give me the green glowy thing

NO HUMAN BEING CAN COMPREHEND 14 MILLION ANYTHINGS.   This isn’t a number people can relate to.  It’s meaningless.  Why do all these movies have to overact?  Lets blow up a whole planet, lets kill half the universe, lets act like a human mind can comprehend 14 million alternate timelines

The fanservice in this movie was incredible.  Like, I’m now convinced there’s a whole team of interns at Marvel scouring the internet for more jokes.  

“Hey boss, they seem to think Rocket trying to steal Bucky’s arm would be hilarious.  So should we do that?” “GREG MY BOY WHAT A FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC IDEA.”

I loved Tony’s whole outfit.  I loved the nano bots.  I even loved at the end when he was running out and he had to redistribute them.  It was amazing

“Home” says Steve Fucking Rogers, the international war criminal that was like ‘but he’s my friend’.  BITCH THAT ISN’T YOUR HOME.

I’m actually 100% furious just at the fact that Rhodey who supported the accords immediately didn’t give one fuck about them as soon as it was convenient to want to be on Cap’s side instead.  I’m FURIOUS that the Accords didn’t matter.  They never did, but the fact that Rhodey was the last man standing that believed in them and he handwaved that shit away as soon as he laid eyes on Steve’s gruff unshaven face, its just like getting kicked in the nuts.

I just looked it up apparently Black Panther and Infinity War were filmed back to back which meant that Marvel had 0 idea how well Black Panther would do in theaters and honestly that must have been why they were like “ah yes you guys remember T’Challa?  Well. basically he just gives Steve some shields and that’s fucking it.”

(I know he did more than that, but he was still treated like a convenient secondary character who had convenient abilities, like Groot who couldn’t be bothered to do anything until someone needed an axe handle.)

C O M M U N I C A T I O N.  It really could have solved so many things. Dr. Strange: 14 million alternate futures Tony: cool.  how many did we win? Dr. Strange: 1. Tony: wait what?  TELL ME EXACTLY WHO DID WHAT Dr. Strange: I’m sorry I can’t just tell you the plot I’m not Mark Ruffalo.

Peter Parker did break my heart.

this is just personal preference but since I don’t find Chris Pratt funny at all, basically all the minutes that were put into his character were wasted on me

This movie cannot stand on it’s own.  That’s not a negative.  You don’t go see a movie like Infinity Wars if you haven’t already spent the last decade on the others leading up to it.  

but, my dudes, you did not set up Wanda/Vision well enough.  And so much emphasis was put on this.  SO MUCH.  She’ll have to destroy him, it’ll have to be her.  Ok.  Cool.  So lets get to it.

I may be heartless.

Gamora crying when she though she’d killed Thanos felt more authentic than Wanda’s entire crisis about Vision.

But, hey, I’m sure in the next one they’ll do something stupid as fuck that’ll make the emotional punch of this movie completely fucking worthless.

[oleanderblume]

So my sister thinks I'm an alien hybrid

Absolutely no joke.

She theorizes that my "cosmic knowledge" and witchcraft stuff and how my presence and alters fronting affects electromagnetic energy (each fronting alter exudes different electromagnetic frequencies which I thought was cool) as well as the very odd circumstances leading to and the actual event of my conception and birth are indicative that I might be an alien hybrid.

Now, I believe in aliens, I believe they have a different DNA sequence and molecular structure that allows some of t hr e to pass through different dimensions, I believe that a non corporeal being can do the same, including the human electromagnetic life force (the soul if you will)

I know I'm weird and do a lot of very weird things like speak random entirely unknown languages, read upside down and backwards, do some crazy accurate empathy reads and see otherworldly things without seeing them really at all. But I personally attribute 98% of that to my scientific rendition of energy manipulation in witchcraft. And I dont think I'm an alien person. And even if I were, I feel like I'd see a lot more UFOs or something.

Now, my sis can be a real banger for conspiracies so it doesnt surprise me she would reach for this straw considering that. But it's a little out there in my OP.

So this is the theory full on.

My dad, before I was born was abducted at the airforce base in Oklahoma, he even lost his jacket and has missing time there *this is well before any wartime ptsd

My mom conceived me, and throughout the entire 9 months of her term, I was, undoubtedly a boy. Just before I was born my mom had a dream she was abducted by aliens, and the took the baby that was me, and replaced a new baby that is the current me. With human DNA obvs. But this me was apparently a girl and when my mom gave birth there was a horrendous problem and she nearly died of blood loss.

And I am an alien hybrid now. Hah.

Make what you want of the story, I'll post if I attain random telepathy or whatever.