#corn god

[randomandofnoregard]

I love that one DND actual play with an anxious wizard with an emotional support/therapy familiar, a goblin detective with a firearm, a pirate boy who tries to emulate his father-figure, and a cleric who follows a deity with questionable “god” status, who all live in a fantasy world in which the most powerful magic is time-magic.

[embraceyourdestiny]

someone should make a d20 compilation of all the "christianity coded parts of fantasy high"

[feminist-mina-harker]

Kristen Applebees left her journal in the library again 🙄

[clitmasterslit]

[corn-cardigan]

yall i dont think they wouldve been so fearful and hungry if they just went to jollibee

[kirkwallmorningnews]

i would like to discuss the coffee situation in the lighthouse.

this is the apparent coffee station in the kitchen. little coffee maker, a couple of unlabeled bottles of additives (i assume), and a bunch of cups including these cute little decorated ones that scream ren faire souvenir

oh and also: two giant open baskets of coffee beans underneath the table. (and a sack of Unidentifiable Brown, but let's ignore that for now because i couldn't get any good pictures of it. it's not the same texture, anyway, so i can't confidently say it is More Coffee.)

that's a lot of coffee beans. that is A Lot Of Coffee Beans for eight people, even if they make 3-4 pots a day. at least one of those pots is for lucanis insomnia purposes, a few cups are for neve to boil into a cognitohazard, and the rest of the team might have a cup or two in the morning, but i don't know enough of their coffee habits to say for certain. 3-4 pots is a generous estimate. so what do they have over 20 pounds of coffee beans for? are they using all of those before they go stale in an open basket? lucanis is a coffee snob, i refuse to believe he's buying all of that if he doesn't think they'll use it while it's still fresh.

But okay. benefit of the doubt here. maybe they've got some stay-fresh ziploc magic on it, and that's a month's supply for a greater amount of coffee per day than my estimates.

but wait. in the pantry. what's that?

oh my god it's an even bigger basket of coffee beans. what are you doing with 50 pounds of coffee beans. you are NOT using all that, this is more coffee than a party of 8 could even try to consume before it went stale in, again, an OPEN CONTAINER. i don't even want to consider whether those sacks next to it might have more, there's no way they could possibly have...

two more. giant baskets. of coffee beans.

there are more baskets of coffee beans in the lighthouse than vegetables. the lighthouse is constantly out of onions because the guy in charge of the shopping spends half the grocery budget on coffee beans. lucanis drinks 6 pots a day and his blood-to-caffeine ratio is 50-50. no wonder spite can smell colors.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Welcome to the Dungeons of Fear and Hunger.

[anoant]

God of Time

[the-gryptid]

I hate myself

[livelovecaliforniadreams]

[curtain-caller]

So I'm looking forward to seeing all the interpretations and headcanons people make for The Lucky Contestant (who I will also join in calling them "Lucky"), but I'm curious... Okay, raise of hands, who else here also pictures Lucky as a crafty, greedy, overconfident, sassy, morally bankrupt little shit (affectionate)? Or is that just me? Idk I just get those vibes from their choices in the game (elaboration below)

Like... the implications that they were combing through hundreds of boxes to get a tape to join the show??? That they were counting the boxes and keeping track??? The fact that the only way to escape at the start is to run PAST the giant fucking beast mauling another contestant instead of running AWAY from it??? Not to mention them leaving the other remaining contestants behind in doing so.

The fact they didn't hesitate when Deputy Duck pecked at them, fucking grabbing him by the neck and throwing him against the wall??? That screamed "I'm not fucking around, are you going to cooperate or not?" kind of energy. The way they barely move when they come across the Real Frankie in front of the monitors??? Like, I know you can't move during that segment probably so you don't just miss the cutscene, but in-universe, Lucky has ample opportunity to turn and fucking run, and we know damn well their fear response isn't freeze, it's flight.

Just. The entire noob noob section. I feel like they flinched one time during that and that was when they caught the first one, but only because the explosion caught them off guard. That slowed them down for 1 second, maximum. Hell, I've seen a few players laugh at that part, I feel like Lucky would too. The fact that there's no objectives to even try to escape Frankie's great value Parkour Civilization??? Like, in a game like this, I'd expect at one point for there to be an attempt to just escape the game entirely once shit hit the fan, only for the protagonist to realize the only way out is to begrudgingly play along and win. But nope. Lucky came here for the money, and they're getting that money. AND THE FACT THEY DO??? AND THEY'RE THE FIRST EVER ONE TO DO SO??? The way they just strut back into Frankie's office after their 57th near-death experience and look him right in the eye??? The whole ending segment where they go for another season??? It's not framed at all like they were forced to go again, because the Real Frankie just offered his hand out, and when we cut back, Lucky is casually looking at the ratings screen while standing on top of a pile of corpses. There are open gaps on the floor they can be standing on instead! But nope, just chilling on top of some dead bodies. Obviously we can't tell what their facial expressions are with the mask on, but they don't seem afraid or even all that tense about their situation either. To me, Lucky is the type of guy to go "I'm not gay, but 20 bucks is 20 bucks". Lucky is the type of guy to go "No, I'm taking the 5 million" only to sprint through that fucking door when Frankie whispers "Double or nothing". Lucky is the type of guy to walk past an old dead competitor and mutter "skill issue" under their breath. Lucky is the kind of guy to roll around in the glass money ball for enrichment like a hamster in a hamster ball. Lucky's the type of guy to keep going for season after season, for more and more money, until eventually they're not even doing it for the money anymore, relishing in the adrenaline rush and the glory instead. I just really love the idea that the reason why Lucky made it to the end so successfully was not only because of their skills and quick thinking, but because they also match Frankie's freak. Frankie was right: They need each other. They compliment each other. They enable each other in the worst ways possible. One wants to put the other through gradually more elaborate and deadly situations to increase ratings, and the other runs headfirst into those situations with the same energy as someone going cliff diving. It's like enrichment for them.

[dragonpyre]

The best part of theater/acting is when everyone's in costume but you're between scenes and just hanging out. To your left you have Mary O'Flanagan, all dressed up in her Sunday best. Next to her is the demon of Hell, Beelzebub, blood coming out of their mouth and eyes black as pitch. They're chatting about Pokemon

[serpentface]

This was going to be a panel of a little comic but I got too invested in drawing minute background details so, here.

[featherymainffins]

I hate to say it but I might have to admit that Redditors can be pretty based sometimes

[katamari-of-luv]

I'm so full of blood! Yum!

[nekosartdump]

C O R N

She's my favorite so far :-3

(Progress under the cut)