#coolest person ever with no faults

[depressedhatakekakashi]

'Kakashi doesn't know his students': Bad. go read the manga or watch the anime again

'Kakashi is inherently flawed when it comes to his precious people and refuses to see their shortfalls/negative traits': Good. you understand this wreck of a man

[thegreatestheaver]

Does nyanyone else get so so nervous talking to people they’ve known for a long ass time just because they’re still so cool to you

[argentinpantsuit]

Adding on to the David Cain sidenote but one of the biggest factor’s in Cass’s suicidal feelings is that she genuinely believes ( because ofc she was raised to only kill and be a singular product for and from violence) that she isn’t and cannot be a good person because she killed that mob boss when she was 8 . Because she believes that she is a weapon . She knows she can kill and hurt people and that she has that capacity and for that singular reason she doesn’t believe in her inherent ability to do good .

She believes she is a weapon and not a girl . She doesn’t fully trust that she is a good person because frankly she hates herself for the act of murder so many years ago . The only person she cannot forgive is herself no matter how young or naive she was .

There is something so fucking heartbreaking about Cass in Batgirl (2000) and i think its the way that she can forgive murderers and killers she can and will attempt to save a man from death row just because she believes they could of changed . She values human life to an absurd degree and in her perception every person matters and deserves to live . Every person except Herself .

She has a death wish constantly puts herself in danger risks her life fighting Shiva and very explicitly in the text wants to die and for what . . Because she killed a man at age 8 . After being horrendously abused and trained for murder by her father.Cass who loves and cherishes absolutely every one no matter what .Cass who saves Lady Shiva - Who has killed hundreds. She won’t kill Lady Shiva who chose to kill . But she wont forgive herself She who had no choice who killed a fatcat mob boss who largely probably brought no good to the world.

And she still wants to die because she doesn’t believe she is a good person.

Its a testament to her complete adoration and worship of life and her nauseating abuse at David Cain hand’s.

Because even after everything she still doesn’t truly believe her father a bad man for putting her through all that nightmarish abuse . She strictly views him as bad because he forced her to kill . It wasn’t her fault AND SHE KNOWS THAT.

But she still doesn’t forgive herself even if she can forgive anyone else on the planet. She still wishes for death.

[youhavereachedtheendofpie]

Your cousin must have a hell of a fucking crazy fantastic vibes...

she's pretty cool, yeah ☺�� completely fucking hilarious, too ;)

[allthegothihopgirls]

the entirety of red hood/arsenal is just jason going on like:

"well i'm kinda starting to accept that it isn't always roy's fault for dragging me into these elaborate schemes. i'm a consenting adult, and i've actually chosen myself, to follow wherever he goes. not one of my better calls, but it was mine."

"and when he wanted me to move across the country with him, of course i said yes. i thought my answer was a product of persuasion, but i would have done it without a fight."

"it annoys me when roy spends all our money on stupid shit. but i keep letting him do it so we can pick up more jobs and spend more time together. i think it's good for him."

"roy made a fancam of me and put it on the largest L.A billboard he could find. some perceived it as a profession of love, if only they knew the type of shit he tried with me on a daily basis."

"i used to be really opposed to roy's oddly intimate nicknames, but now i catch myself off-guard referring to him as 'bestie'. i haven't tried to stop though, it seems to please him."

"i think roy sees me as a test guinea pig sometimes. he keeps trying to convince me it's just because we're super close and total bros, but i don't think 'total bros' test their prototype flamethrowers on each other mid-shower."

"roy's like a master guilt-tripper. honestly most of the choices i make now are in the interest of making him happy, because even if i act on accord of my own feelings, one display of emotion from him and i'm already rescinding my actions. you think it's because i love him? wrong. i just hate when he gets whiny."

"i don't think roy's ever going to grow up. he's so lucky he has totally 100% grown up me to guide him and not encourage his childishness."

roy on the other hand:

"yippee!!! my personal boytoy bestie is travelling the world with me and we're making the coolest memories together. hope i don't go fuck this up and hit a devastating rock bottom."

[tojisbbygworl]

He’s Not Actually That Cool - Hobie Brown x Black!Reader bonus~

Part 1 Part 2 bonus ii

Masterlist

Imagine Hobie, the undeniably coolest person in the spider society, is a virgin nerd with a big dick

Tags: 18+, NSFW, Handy, Edging/Orgasm denial

“Ah…”

“Oh-oh…”

“fffff…”

He didn’t think sex could feel like this, but here she was proving him wrong.

Nothing will ever be better than being balls deep inside her, but this wasn’t anything to be trifled with.

It felt so fucking good…but fuck he wanted to cum so bad.

Why would she play with his heart like this? The woman was torturing him. But, it’s his fault for telling her he wanted to explore in the bedroom.

He wished she would put her mouth on it already, instead she opted to jerk him off giving the most attention to his very sensitive tip.

It was all cool when they started, a small make out session that was getting more intense every passing second.

Then, “Wanna try something new today?”

Brain fuzzy from the kiss, he responded, “Yes, please.”

She got on her knees and unzipped his pants. Hobie watched her happily as she pulled him out, gave him on long lick, and pumped him slowly twisting her hands while doing it.

“Mm,” some pre cum dripped out his hole. “W-Will you…uhm…” he nibbled on his bottom lip while looking to the side.

He didn’t have to say it. She leaned over and gave him a sweet kiss right on his head. He throbbed in her hand.

“Oo, yeah,” he sinks into the couch with his head leaning back. “Yeah, do that again.”

She chuckled. “Okay, cutie.”

With each smooch, he groaned and thrusted into the air. Not only did it feel amazing physically, the sweetness of it gave him butterflies.

Then she pumped him faster.

He gasped and threw his head back up. With his mouth hanging open all he could do was watch and squirm.

A familiar warmth pooled in his stomach. “Oh, shit.”

“You gonna cum for me?”

“Yes…”

“Yes what?”

“Yes, baby.”

She smirked. Then she stopped.

Panting, he stared at her, his heart broken and his dick aching. “What? Why did you-? What did I do?” It was the most whiny he’s ever sounded.

“Is it because I still kept trying to tell you about Jujutsu Kaisen when we started kissing?” Head shake.

“Is it because I came in your eye yesterday?” Another head shake. “Then what did I do?”

You giggled at him like always. “Nothing, Hobie. It’s called edging.”

He lurched his head forward in utter disbelief. “You’re telling me this is a thing that people do? Just stop themselves from getting off?” Nod. “You’re taking the piss.”

“I ain’t never lied to you.” You started up again before he could respond.

The next 15 minutes consisted of pathetic whimpers and voice cracking moans.

“Please don’t-”

“Mmf, just let me-…fuck”

“Babe, please let me cum. Please?”

“Please, I need it. I’ll do whatever you want. I’ll-no! Come on.”

“Please…yes…yes…”

“Oh yeah, I’m cumming.”

You quickly pointed his dick towards him. Hobie didn’t have time to react before a stream of hot pearly liquid lunged at his face landing on his mouth, cheek, and eye.

“Ha! Payback,” you cackle.

He gives a weak chuckle of his own, the fuzzy feeling of release coursing throughout his body hitting the tips of his toes. ���Yeah,” he panted, “I guess you did get me back.”

When it was all said and done, you wiped his face off with a towel and he rested his arm over his eyes and forehead. “I kind of…” he swallows some spit. “I kind of like that.”

If you haven’t kissed your man on his tip yet…what are you doing

Part 1 Part 2 bonus ii

Masterlist

Taglist:@mxtokko@xoxobabe@avatar4eva@fadingpalacebonkpsychic@hobie-browns-bitch@anikaluv @urivl @kaaylvst@cozmicwonder@princessleila1818@fashominnie@gobblethiskitty@cumbermovels

[wannaeatramyeon]

Meeting Olly Wang for the First Time: Influence

G/N. Sort of soft. I did it anon!! Masterlists

In hindsight you could have been considered a bad influence except you felt bad for him. You like to think that you showed Olly Wang there was more to life than studying, there are some things that can't be taught through textbooks.

You taught him how to live, you gave him room to breathe.

But sometimes, when the nights are too silent and your brain is too loud, when you miss him so much it hurts, you would think that it was all your fault. You set him on this path.

It's stupid, of course. Your minor risk-taking and vices are nothing compared to what has happened since.

Still, it eats away at you.

.

.

It's entirely by chance that you meet.

You're not particularly studious, but empty pockets and a meagre allowance accompanied with bad weather means your options are limited.

In the library, tucked away in the corner is a boy.

Trying his best to read and study yet annoying teenagers continue to heckle him. Throwing balled up pieces of paper and calling out derisive comments.

"Fuck off," you snap, feeling kind hearted today and storming over. You drag one of them away by the hair.

"Hey! Get off-" He tries to wiggle out of your grasp.

"Leave him alone, assholes," you snarl, shoving him away.

The commotion is finally enough to draw the attention of the staff.

The teens are shooed out, throwing angry daggers your way.

"You're welcome by the way," You tell the boy in the corner and you think he mutters something about being able to take them on himself.

Narrowing your eyes, you yank his ear, "What did you just say?"

When he doesn't react, you let go. Huh?

He doesn't feel pain, he tells you, or to be honest, anything. And then when you continue glaring at him thinking that that's bullshit, he introduces himself as Olly Wang.

.

.

The first time he ditches class, as a middle-schooler, is with you. Just two kids wandering the streets of Gangdong. You, used to skipping the occasional days and class, and embracing freedom, while Olly fidgets next you.

His mouth, usually stretched too wide in a grin, is pulled down at the corners. Tense eyes behind glasses anxiously flickers from side to side.

"You think your parents are going to catch you?" You tease, slinging an arm around his shoulders.

"No." Olly doesn't sound convinced and you sigh.

"So what do you want to do?"

"Me?" he asks, blinking owlishly as if that's the first time someone has ever asked him that question.

You shrug off his weird response. "We can go the park. Shopping. Not that I have any money. Arcade-"

"Arcade!" he pipes up, then cowering and furtively glancing around him in case his parents are actually around.

Nevertheless, he spends hours and hours by your side; fighting each other, killing zombies, and racing cars. The sound of 8-bit music and bright flashing lights soon drown out his fears.

That day, Olly smiles genuinely along with you.

.

.

You first hear about Eli Jang a few weeks later.

Apparently he's fallen in with a new group of friends and this guy is the coolest person he has ever seen.

He's an orphan, he does whatever he want.

"Ok," you deadpan to each fact about this Eli Jang, growing more bored by the second.

Olly, oblivious to your reaction, continues fawning over him.

.

.

"Here, try it,"

You only offered the cigarette to stop him talking about Eli Jang. You've lost count of the times you've rolled your eyes.

Olly pauses, torn between wanting to impress you and not wanting to inhale the nasty smoke.

He gives in when he sees the playful glint in your eyes. His finger brushes yours as you pass it to him, and he places his lips where yours were just mere seconds ago.

"ACK!"

You giggle to yourself watching Olly hacking and sputtering.

You reach out to ruffle his hair once he calms and he peeks at you feeling his throat and cheeks burn.

.

.

"Why do you want to be like Eli?" you side-eye Olly, interrupting his ranting.

"I-" Olly starts, and then finds he can't say the words in your presence. He thinks Eli is the only one that makes him feel something but-

Deep down, when he's with you, he's not sure that's entirely true.

You misread his pause for something else.

You shrug, "I like you as you are."

.

.

"Want some?" you ask, shaking the bottle of soju at him.

Olly bites his lip, "Eli wouldn't-"

"Ugh!" You cut in rudely. "I've never met the guy and I feel like I know everything about him. Will you shut up about Eli?"

"But Eli-"

"I said shut up," you pull him by his stupid collar and yank his stupid lips to yours.

You consider blaming your actions on the alcohol even though you've barely taken a sip.

Olly stares at you, dazed, but there's a fire in his eyes.

"Ok." He agrees, then adds as he adjusts his glasses. "Only if you'll do that again."

You raise your eyebrows at his audacity. At this strange boy who was tucked away in the corner of the library.

"I thought you said you couldn't feel anything?"

Olly gives you a grin, different from his trademark open-mouthed one. It's almost a smirk. His gaze meets yours, determined and unwavering.

"I think I might have felt something then."

You lean in, at the same time as he does, meeting him halfway and kissing him again.

[livwritesstuff]

inspired by a real-life event i was recently reminded of

Life can be so goddamn weird.

That’s Eddie’s opinion anyway.

Like, in 1986 he was a nonconformist metalhead wanted for murder. In 2013, nearly thirty years later, he’s actually kind of excited about a Disney princess movie release.

Again, weird.

The movie is Frozen – people have lost their effing minds over it, or so it seems – and the reason Eddie’s actually kind of excited about it is because he and Steve have three daughters and the last time Disney put out a princess movie, they’d all had a total blast going to see it in the movie theater.

Eddie has high hopes for this one (at a minimum he’s hoping it puts a stop to the endless loop of Tangled’s “I See the Light”, which isn’t a bad song at all, but even the best of songs become hard to hear after the ninety-ninth play).

About a week after the movie came out, he’s watching TV with his youngest daughter, Hazel, when the trailer for Frozen plays during a commercial break.

“You gearing up to go see Frozen, Hazy-Jay?” he asks her.

To which Hazel scrunches up her nose and responds, “No, that’s for babies.”

And Eddie could have died right there in the middle of the living room, because last time he checked Hazel was a baby still. She’s seven! In what world is seven too old to see a Disney movie?

“This is entirely your fault,” Eddie later tells Steve, “You’re the one who said they’re allowed to grow up or whatever.”

“They are,” Steve points out, “You know – she doesn’t actually think Frozen is for babies. It’s just because Moe’s on that whole Disney’s not cool anymore thing, and Hazel thinks she’s the coolest person on the planet, so…”

It’s true that Moe, who’s twelve now, has been on a kick of disavowing all of her little-kid interests ever since she started middle-school. Some of it Eddie hasn’t even minded (in his opinion the less Disney Channel he has to listen to, the better). What he won’t stand for is when it leeches onto her little sisters years before they’re supposed to start outgrowing that stuff.

“So it’s Moe’s fault,” Eddie finishes.

“You know that’s not what I said.”

[max-nico]

Sonic has been called an "overprotective big brother" over the years many times. Not his fault that Tails is small, impressionable, and reckless. He's known the kid since he was a toddler, if anyone else had been around that long they would understand too.

Or at least he thought they would, but it seems he was wrong because his own two best friends–Amy and Knuckles–are the ones who call him overprotective the most. This is a huge betrayal on their part, especially when they bring up valid points like Tails' intelligence and skill, because how could he disagree. Sonic has the coolest, most awesome and amazing, little brother ever. 

With that being said, Sonic is pretty sure he has the right to interrogate the little fox this time. He's like 90% sure his panic is warranted when he sees his little brother load and cock a very real and deadly gun. Because that kid is 9. He is 9, and he is putting on his watch and his plane gear to leave, and for some reason he needs a weapon wherever he's going. Sonic thinks he has a right to exercise at least a little big brother privilege here, honestly it would be negligent to not at least question him. 

"Hey bud. Whatcha up to?"

Tails' ear flicks toward him as he packs a few things into the Tornado. "You remember that hard drive that GUN thought they stole from me, but I actually knew they wanted it so I lowered a few of my defense systems so that they could grab it and leave me alone?"

The answer is no, Sonic has no recollection of that happening at all. Though he supposes it's his own fault for only half listening when Tails was talking. He's really gotta break that habit.

"Sure do." Sonic lies.

"Well, I actually have a little bit of data on there that I forgot to back up to another hard drive since I didn't think I needed it, so I'm going to go get it."

"And you need a weapon for that? Why don't you just ask Shadow?"

Tails finally turns to face Sonic, floating down off the Tornado and in front of Sonic. He stands with his hands on his hips, leaning just a little into his personal space. He takes the chance to absentmindedly scratch behind his little brother's ears, making him push his head into his hand.

"I did, actually. He's the one who told me to bring some weapons, he said he wants to help me improve my stealth techniques."

"Huh, and he didn't even bother to text me about it." Sonic huffs. It comes out playfully, but he won't deny being a little peeved that Shadow didn't message him. Tails is a genius and can make his own decisions, sure, but he's also not even in double digits. Sonic is literally his guardian, he feels like he should've been consulted about this. "I find that quite rude."

Tails smacks Sonic with one of his tails. The fur gets trapped in the small quills on his face, which makes his brother giggle.

"Then how do you find that, hm?"

"I find that the person who did it has another thing coming."

Sonic is so gonna fill his pillows with quills and shaving cream again. The fox constantly complains about not being able to get his quills out of any furniture, but he also got his fur stuck on Sonic's face, he figures this is pretty good retribution.

"Sure I do."

This is what Sonic means. Where did his wholesome brother go? Ignoring the fact that he has been a little menace since they first met, this is obviously team Dark's fault. Their devious ways are corrupting his little brother, who has obviously only learned nice things from him, like dad jokes and spindashing.

Tails has been constantly hanging out with team Dark for a few months now. After spending time with Rouge on Amy's last birthday he seemed to acquire a sort of childish fascination with them. Honestly, Sonic didn't really see it as a bad thing at first. They got Tails to spend more time out of his lab, and they always seemed to take care of him so Sonic had no qualms as long as Tails was having fun.

Then the habits came. Habits that Sonic had managed to completely purge a couple years back. Sure, he's not building bombs willy nilly anymore (as far as he knows anyway), but a few weeks ago Tails showed him the Empire nuclear launch codes just because he could.

Just yesterday they were having a conversation about a grocery store in station square. Amy had apparently told him that the cashier was kind of rude, so he asked if she wanted him to "blow up the entire store". She laughed and said no thanks, but when Sonic just shook his head at him Tails had the audacity to say "he'll make sure there's no one in it", as if that was the problem with what he said.

Sonic will not claim to have clean hands. He will not say he's never killed anybody on purpose or on accident, but is it so much to want to spare his brother from the same fate? Sonic still has nightmares over things like that, and even if his little brother is joking, he just can't find it in himself to laugh.

It's obvious Sonic will have to talk to Shadow and Rouge soon, he would talk to Omega as well but the robot honestly just does whatever he wants. Sonic can respect it. He cannot, however, respect Shadow and Rouge teaching his kid brother bad stuff, like how to get away with murder and other things of the like.

"I'll be back before you know it, Sonic, I swear!"

It's obvious Sonic has just missed most of the one sided conversation Tails was just having with him, he zoned out again. Damn it.

"And I'll have my communicator on me so if anything goes wrong, you'll be the first to know! I'll stay safe, Shadow will be with me."

Tails says that as if it's any comfort to Sonic. He may trust Shadow with his life but he does not trust him with children. He's sure Tails will come out physically unscathed, but mentally? This is going to be a trainwreck.

Sonic sighs. He already knows he won't be able to convince him not to go, at least not in the small timeframe he has, so he just pulls the kid in for a hug instead. "Call me as soon as you're able, okay?"

"I will, promise!"

"And if you're not back and not answering in 24 hours, I'm coming to find you myself."

"Yes, Sonic." Tails says, pulling away.

"And I'll give Shadow a piece of my mind if I have to, you know I will."

"I'm leaving now."

"And so will Knuckles and Amy!"

"Goodbye!"

"Remember what I said about calling!"

"I can't hear you anymore!"

Sonic smiles as Tails starts his plane, the kid will be fine, he knows it. After all, he's sure Shadow and Rouge know the consequences if he's not.

woe, the brothers be upon ye I wrote this in like two sittings and its barely been edited, I'll probably put this on ao3 later after I've looked at it again lol. you're welcome to hit me up in my dms or askbox, but if it's a request I would prefer my ask box lol. Remember you have to be nice to me forever and ever and ever if you decide to talk to me btw

[gettinshiggywithit]

ok so I saw your post abt wanting to write for pjo but you don't know what and you've only read the books so I figured I'd send a request or sum. now idk if you do headcannons cause I haven't followed you for long, but headcannons abt a relationship with percy? 🍓

🌊Dating Percy Jackson~ (HCs)🌊

Summary: what’s it like dating the son of poseidon and resident blue-enthusiast

Pairing: percy x gn!reader (i think I kept it pretty gender neutral!)

Genre: fluff

T/W: none

A/N: Hi nonny! I hope you like this! Thank you for the request and for getting me out of my writing slump! Pls lmk what you think of it if you feel like it and until next time ciao!

Warning! Not proof read🥹🙏apologies 🥹

I think its a given that percy is the epitome of boyfriend material

I mean the man literally gave up immortality for annabeth!

But this isnt about annabeth,this is about you!

So for the sake of this post let’s assume you both met the same way!

The moment percy saw you he was entranced!

It was a normal day of practice and he was out in the practice pavilion to try his hand at archery(this was when he was still unclaimed)

He was struggling to even hit the target when he turned his head to talk to his instructor from the apollo cabin,only to see you sparring with the camp’s best swordsman,luke castellan!

You were expertly dodging and blocking his advances and while luke seemed to be getting frustrated,you looked smug and excited almost. It was then that perch jackson developed a hugee crush on you

Over the next few days he made attempts to talk to and interact with you,he joined you at the campfire and during these little interactions was when he realised you weren’t just pretty,you had a personality as bright as the sun and your sense of humour was elite!

When he got claimed you helped him accept it and even though you were still unclaimed it really helped him. You listened to him when he needed a friend and helped him see the brighter side of things.

And over time even you seemed to fall for him, i mean what wasnt to love,he was funny,sweet,supportive; everything a girl could ask for!

So when you confessed to him during a sparring session after having just beaten him,he was both confused and overjoyed!

You helped him up and he confessed to feeling the same.and as you both got older,your bond grew stronger.sure there were little hiccups along the way but you always made it work.

Percy noticed everything about you, your little quirks, your little gestures; everything

He was the first to notice when you were feeling even a little bit down and he always had your favorite snacks on hand for when you needed cheering up!

He always took you down to the beach or near the river,exploring both in his little protective bubble was the coolest,most awesome thing you’d ever experienced and even though you felt scared at times,he’d hold you close and not let go until you were on dry land.

Making blue food together in the off season and spending time at his and his mum’s apartment was heavenly,especially your home didn’t exactly feel like a home in the first place.

Sally loved you! She always teased the two of you when you curled up on the couch to watch movies and was just happy her son found someone.

During quests he always had your back but also knew you were perfectly capable on your own,i mean you practically taught him how to sparr yourself!

Through the losses and the gains,the battles and the hardship,you stayed together and helped eachother grow.

You loved him with all your heart and he the same. He was loyal to fault and would never judge or criticize you,if he did it was merely constructive criticism,nothing to belittle you or make you feel insignificant.

He helped you through your moments of insecurity and made you feel whole,like you were worth his love and like you were perfect the way you were.

In conclusion,being in love with percy Jackson means, unlimited support and love and a companion for life🫶

All rights reserved © 2023 gettinshiggywithit. Please do not repost, modify or claim as yours. Reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated!j

[inbloomwriting]

Everything to me - Chapter 1

Chapter one - Apple seed

Story Masterlist

Plot: Jamie Tartt is a lot of things: professional footballer, the island's top scorer .... sexually, extremly handsome. But one thing he never saw himself as was a dad. Too bad he has to deal with the consequences of his own actions. This fic follows reader and Jamie as they navigate life and turn from practially strangers to parents. Pairing: Jaime Tartt x female reader Warnings: Pregnancy, swearing, mentions of food and alcohol, slight mention of sexual intimacy (nothing graphic), strained/toxic parental relationship Notes: 5.8k words. I do not have a set uploading schedule. Please bear with me as I work on this story. I know hardly anything about pregnancy, all my information comes from google. Likes, reblogs, comments are all much appreciated. I am German. Sometimes I get the tense wrong or make mistakes. I am useless when it comes to punctuation. Go easy on me, please

"You never understood you're everything to me I just hope you know, the future in your heart Is just about to start"

The universe must be mocking her, (Y/N) is sure of that. This is all one big elaborate joke and any minute now Ashton Kutcher is gonna jump out from behind some bushes and tell her that she has been punkd. 

She had a plan, all neatly laid out and organized. Blue ink on white paper in a fancy leather-bound notebook. Like a professional adult would do it who has their life all figured out. 

Renovate the store and get it back up and running

Sell it for profit 

Pay back Mum and get the fuck away from everyone and everything that has ever made her feel unworthy

That was the plan and she was so fucking determined to stick to it for once in her life. So this must be a prank. This must all be one big misunderstanding.

But it’s not a prank, is it? It’s the consequences of her own damn actions.

Her heart is racing as she climbs the stairs up towards Rebecca Welton’s office. Her legs and feet are heavy, like concrete. Why is being honest with your friends so damn hard? 

It’s not just any friend either. It’s Rebecca. Rebecca who has always been in her life ever since (Y/N) was just a kid. Rebecca who is the only person (Y/N) ever looked up to. Why is being honest with her so terrifying?

You know why! 

Yeah, (Y/N) knows why. Because she doesn’t know what she’ll do if Rebecca hates her for what happened. Of all the people in the world, she needs Rebecca on her side. 

As she lifts her hand and knocks on the door of the office, (Y/N) wonders if this is what death row inmates feel like. Knowing the end is inevitable and it’s all your own fault.

“Come in” 

Taking a deep breath, she opens the door and steps into the room. 3 pairs of eyes look back at her but really, the only ones that matter belong to the beautiful blonde sitting by the desk.

“(Y/N), Hi. What are you doing here? Did we have plans? I thought you went back — “

“Yeah I — no, we didn’t have plans.” 

It almost kills her, that smile that Rebecca sends her way. The one that’s so warm and loving and that’s been a constant in her life for most of her childhood and teenage years coming from Rebecca. Rebecca living in that lovely white house next door with the rose bushes and the big windows. Rebecca who taught her how to do the perfect eyeliner wing, who passed down her coolest leather jacket to her, who held her hair the first time she got wasted and threw up in those very rose bushes. Rebecca who was the older sister she never had. 

She loves that smile it used to bring so much comfort to her. Now it makes her want to die. The girl she used to be, deserved to be on the receiving end of that smile. She doubts she still deserves it.

“Can we—” (Y/N)’s eyes dart around the room towards Higgins, then towards the other man. He’s the American trainer, Ted. She’s talked to him once very briefly and he seems so — nice. Genuinely nice. Not for the sake of being perceived as a good person but because he just is. “— do you think we could talk privately?” 

There’s a flicker of concern in Rebecca’s eyes and (Y/N) hates that she put it there.

“Oh, of course. Ted, Leslie, would you excuse us?” 

Everything’s a blur. They leave and (Y/N) thinks Ted makes some kind of pun but she doesn’t really recognize anything but the racing of her heart and the sour feeling in her stomach. Oh, fuck.

Rebecca sits her down on the big couch by the window, the one that’s meant for personal talks, not business. She’s so nice. Oh, she's too nice.

“Are you dying?” 

“I — uh, no.”

“Okay, good.,” Rebecca says letting out a sigh of relief. “Now that that’s out of the way, can I offer you some tea?”

(Y/N) shakes her head.

“Coffee?” 

She repeats the motion

“Champagne?” Rebecca asks, a perfectly shaped eyebrow raised in question.

God, wouldn’t she kill for a glass of bubbly right now. 

“No, I’m good. Can you just come sit down, you’re making me nervous.” 

Not only does she sit down, Rebecca’s hand immediately finds (Y/N)’s, holding on warm and tight. It almost pulls an ironic scoff from (Y/N)’s lips. Mum doesn’t know but even if she did, she’d never offer this kind of comfort to her. She never did. So for a second, she lets herself relish in the affection. Just one second. 

“Okay, now out with it.” 

She’s rehearsed this conversation so many times in so many different ways. Like a school presentation. Meticulously planned. Even added in pauses for questions and shit like that.

All of that has vanished, her brain is empty, her tongue made of lead. 

“I uh — look um. Do you remember when your dad died?” 

Of all the ways she could’ve started this talk, this is probably the worst of them all. Who says things like that?

Rebecca seems a little taken aback for a moment before nodding her head and suppressing a slight smile, one brought on by the absurdity of the question, not by joy. “I do, yes. Hard to forget if I’m being honest.” 

“Yeah, I would know.” 

“Yeah.”

“So that night I was obviously very emotional because it reminded me of my dad and all of that bullshit.” Tears are already threatening to roll down her face, sitting on her waterline waiting for the right moment to strike. It’s impressive she still has any left to cry since that’s all she did the last few days.

“That’s understandable. Oh, please tell me you didn’t force yourself to come and relive all of your pain just because you felt like I expected you there? If I knew it was so hard on you I —” 

This, all of this, is twisting the knife so much deeper. Leave it to Rebecca to search for a fault of hers in all of (Y/N)’s mess.

“No, Rebecca, it's nothing like that. I — I fucked up. I let it all get to me and because I’m, well — me, I got a little tipsy. Went outside to get some air and there was this guy. God, Rebecca, he had the saddest eyes. I just felt this weird connection so I sat next to him. We talked and talked and then ended up going to a bar and then to my place and then to my bed and well yeah.” 

She giggles. Rebecca really has the audacity to giggle at that. In her defense, she tries to hold it in but it does slip out eventually. 

“It’s not funny.”

“Is this why you’re upset? You slept with someone at, no wait, after my father’s funeral. That’s okay.”

“There’s more.” 

"Oh, what is it? Was it a footballer?” 

At the lack of a vocal response, Rebecca connects the dots.

“Alright. That’s — that’s not so bad. I was seeing a 21-year-old footballer. I don’t see what’s making you so upset about this.” 

“I’m pregnant.” 

“Oh shit.” 

Getting Rebecca to swear was always something (Y/N) found a silly sense of pride in. Rebecca with her perfect hair and outfits and manners. It felt like something so alien to her and yet that was (Y/N)’s favorite version of Rebecca. The one that’s as messy as you and me even if it’s just for a second.

“Yeah, shit.” 

It’s the first time she said it out loud. Rebecca is the first person to know, except for (Y/N) herself and her gynecologist. Her mother doesn’t know. 

The father of the baby doesn’t know.

Just her and now Rebecca.

“And I don’t know what to do. This wasn’t the plan. Fuck — please don’t be mad.” 

“Why would I be mad? ” 

There is an infinite warmth in Rebecca’s eyes. A warmth she always longed for coming from her own mother but never received. A warmth that seems entirely misplaced right now. 

“I fucked your employee. I used your dad’s funeral to make the shittiest of all shit decisions and now I come here unloading all of this on you because I, once again, don’t know how to get myself out of the hole I dug.” 

Soft hands wrap around (Y/N)’s shoulder and pull her in. Rebecca smells like expensive perfume and hairspray. All comforting and familiar. It’s nice, (Y/N) thinks, that despite everything falling apart in and around her, there is at least one constant in her life. 

“Were you really afraid of telling me or are you just afraid?” 

She’s so smart and so observant, sometimes it’s infuriating. 

“I’m so scared, Rebecca.”

Life doesn’t ask if you’re ready. It doesn’t ease you into things, slow and gentle. There are no training wheels, no floaties. Life happens whether you’re prepared or not. It’s nice to know that there are arms wide open for you to fall into, a hand to pull you out of the roaring sea as you’re just about to drown.

“You can always unload on me, you know that right? That’s what family is for.” 

All the willpower to stay brave and collected and not cry, all that vanishes with Rebecca’s words. Family. They’re family. Maybe not by blood but definitely by fate. By choice. 

Mum would’ve told her to suck it up, to stop crying, and to face the consequences of her own actions. Would’ve probably had an “I knew this would happen” or an “I told you so” on the tip of her tongue. There is none of that with Rebecca. She just accepts the tears soaking through her, no doubt, expensive blouse and softly strokes (Y/N)’s head. 

For a long time, there are no words exchanged. Some moments ask for calmness not conversation. There’s something deeply therapeutic about crying on the shoulder of someone you deeply trust.

“Can I ask?” Rebecca inquires with a gentle voice just barely louder than a whisper.

She doesn’t have to elaborate. There are only so many questions people have after you told them you had a one-night stand and ended up pregnant. 

“You’re gonna hate the answer.” 

A laugh falls from Rebecca’s lips, her breath tickling the top of (Y/N)’s head. “Don’t tell me It’s Jamie.” 

“Okay, I won’t then.” 

“Oh, (Y/N).” 

Where there should be disappointment in her tone, there is understanding, there is slight amusement but above all, there is deep and honest care. 

“ Can you blame me? Look at him. He’s sculpted by the gods and something about that silly little accent does it for me. I hate to admit it, I truly do.” 

“Does he know?” 

(Y/N) shakes her head, guilt and fear coursing through her veins.

“I don’t even have his number. I know hardly anything about the guy other than that he’s a footballer, that his ego is huge, and that he likes to cuddle after sex.” 

Rebecca’s eyebrows rise in surprise. “Does he? Huh.”

“Yeah, it was really cute actually.” 

For a moment she almost gets lost in the memories of that night, however hazy they might be. Jamie was fun and to an extent he understood. And there’s nothing quite as sexy as a man who is just as sad and messed up as you. Is it healthy? Absolutely not but (Y/N) never claimed to have a particularly healthy view on anything. 

“He works here, you know. In this very building. You can just pop down and tell him.” 

The way Rebecca says it makes it sound so easy. Like it doesn’t come with a shit load of guilt and fear and embarrassment. 

“Wait, I didn’t even ask and I just realized that’s very presumptuous and maybe a little rude of me — do you even want to keep the baby?” 

That’s the big one. The question of all questions. It’s the second thought that came to her head when (Y/N) saw the two lines on that fateful plastic stick. The first one being “Oh fuck.” It’s the question her doctor asked. It’s in all of the leaflets and informational reading she’s been handed.

“I’ve never thought about it before. I mean sure I thought about some hypothetical future but those dreams always changed depending on my mood. Now I’m here and I need to make a choice and It’s — It’s terrifying.” 

“But?” 

“But I think I do want it. I think I want to be a — a mother.” 

It’s a word that feels strange on her tongue, bitter and sharp. Like biting down on your cheek and tasting blood. Mother was never the warm comfort of a home. It was the cold hand on her shoulder, the icy glance of disapproval. 

Maybe mother can be something else. Maybe she can turn it into something sweet.

“I’m just scared. This wasn’t the plan, not right now at least, and not like this. I’m scared of doing it alone.”

“What in the world does that mean? Alone?” 

“I don’t expect Jamie to step up. I’d appreciate it, of course. But he has a brilliant career and so much going for him. Getting me, a one-night-stand, pregnant could ruin so much for him. I don’t ever want that.” 

“No,” Rebecca says and cradles (Y/N)’s face between her warm hands “I mean, you’re not going to be alone. No matter what Jamie says. You have me. And I can guarantee you that there are at least 10 other people in this building right now who will also have your back. Whatever happens, I can promise you that you don’t have to do this alone. And don’t sell yourself short, you have a career too!” 

Maybe the universe isn’t mocking her after all. And maybe this isn’t a punishment either. Maybe this is just life pushing her into the deep end. Thank god she has people to help keep her afloat.

(Y/N)’s eyes wander from the clock on the wall towards the door then back. Over and over again.

Every time the door opens and someone leaves the locker room, her heart speeds up. Maybe if she dies of a heart attack right here and now she won’t have to talk to Jamie. That sounds like the most reasonable reaction. Anyone would agree. Right? 

The boys all regard her with a sense of cautious familiarity. They know her face, know they’ve seen her before but can’t recall where much less put a name to her. 

Well, all of them but Sam. He greets her with that big signature smile of his, so full of joy and sunshine. Calls out her name and asks her about her day. Rebecca might have a point that there are more people here that care about her. Their conversation is brief but there is no doubt in her mind that if she were to call him any time of the day, Sam would drop everything and help her out. That’s just the kind of person he is. 

She wonders if that’s the kind of person Jamie is. 

Another glance at the clock. 2 minutes pass. The door opens once more.

Jamie is smiling when he steps into the hallway. His hair is wet, probably from the shower, and held back by that silly little headband of his. He’s wearing a ridiculously bright orange hoodie and obnoxious colorful sneakers. Everyone else would look absolutely ridiculous in this get-up. Jamie makes it work. It must be some kind of superpower. 

Or maybe he’s just so unfairly fit that it doesn’t matter what he’s wearing. Even naked he looks phenomenal.

Stop thinking about him naked, that’s what got you into this mess.

“Oh, hi!” 

He’s so nonchalant, so casual when his eyes meet her’s across the hall. And really, why wouldn’t he be? What they had was casual. A one-night thing, no strings attached. Just two slightly broken people finding solace in each other. That was all it was supposed to be at least.

(Y/N) feels the weight of the secret resting so heavy on her shoulders, she’s sure she’ll collapse underneath it any second now. 

“Jamie, hi. Uh — can we talk?” 

“Sure, ‘bout what? Are you pregnant or something?” 

He says it with a smile, not giving a single thought to the fact that his joke might be no joke at all but the honest to god truth.

(Y/N) on the other hand, feels like someone doused her in ice water, just poured it all over her. Her hands are clammy, breathing shallow, heart racing. Maybe she’ll get that heart attack after all.

When she doesn’t answer, doesn’t laugh, Jamie’s eyes grow wide in return. Though his reputation might make you believe otherwise, he’s quite quick in putting two and two together. At least in this situation. He doesn’t look happy, that much she expected, but he doesn’t look upset either. He just looks shocked. There is nothing but pure disbelief on his face. The cocky smirk has dropped, now his mouth is opening and closing trying to produce words as his head is trying to process the information he just figured out.

“Do you want to go discuss this somewhere more private?” 

Of all the places to tell someone they got you pregnant, the hallway at his workplace might not be the more desirable. 

A pale-faced Jamie nods his head, his eyes distant and glassy. She knows the feeling, has been there just a few days ago. That’s his whole life playing like a movie in his head right there, now with added scenes of a small child with his eyes. Oh god, she hopes the baby gets his eyes.

Jamie drags her into a small room off of the main hallway. Cubicle cupboards line the walls, filled with shoes and boxes. Orange and bright green and yellow. Every possible color of the rainbow, they have a pair of shoes to match in here. The smell though? The smell has her gagging. Sweat and cold cigarette smoke. It’s disgusting. 

“Oh god, Jamie. This is disgusting.” 

“It’s the boot room. ‘s where we keep the boots — and people come here to smoke.” 

“They come here to smoke? On purpose? Like they chose to spend time in here?” 

Jamie absentmindedly nods his head. He’s so pale-looking (Y/N) fears he might just pass out any minute now. 

“Jamie, are you okay? Do you want to sit down?” 

His eyes start to focus again, looking straight at her. He’s terrified and quite honestly, she can’t blame him. Confusion and fear are all she’s felt for the last few days. A bit of excitement too, sure. But mostly the first two.

“Yeah. No. I mean yes. I guess? No. I — fuck.” 

Nervously he combs his fingers through his damp hair as if to calm himself down. Is that something his parents did to him when he was a kid? A motion of comfort? There is so much she doesn’t know about this man. If he decides that he wants to stick around, can this ever work? Can you raise a child with someone you hardly know and not completely fuck them up? 

“Is it mine, then? Are you sure about that?”

“No, I just like going around scaring people into believing they got me pregnant. Yes, Jamie! I am 100% certain.” 

His hands fly up in defense “Jesus, sorry. I don’t know your sexual history. You had sex with me after a funeral, don’t know how much you get around, now do I?” 

She had expected him to ask if it’s his, hell anyone probably would, but there’s something about his tone that is just so off-putting. The accusation that swings along with his words. The judgment. As if he is in any place to talk.

“Oh get off your high horse, dickhead. We both made that decision after the funeral. Didn't hear you complain. And out of the two of us, It’s not me who fucked a girl in a hot tub on national television. Eurgh” 

“You alright?” 

“No, this room is making me gag. I assume this is bad under normal circumstances but this pregnancy situation has my sense of smell going through the roof. This is killing me.” 

“Well, why didn’t you say nothing?! We could’ve gone somewhere else.” 

“I just wanted to — eurgh— I just wanted to get this over with.” 

“Let me get you out of —” 

“No, let me just say this real quick and then I’m off.” 

She’s prepared this speech a million and one times in a million and one ways. It always worked out fine but then again, her audience was just her cat and the mirror. Having Jamie look at her, a mix of concern and shock still on his face, that’s a whole different story.

“I am having this baby and I would like for you to be a part of their life, but I accept if you say no. Just know that whatever you decide, that’s final. I can’t have you running off and then coming back in a few years regretting your decision and wanting to be a parent after all. And I most definitely will not allow you to say you’re in and then give up on the baby halfway through. I had a parent like that, I will not have my child go through the same thing. I don’t need your decision now just — make up your mind and make sure you’re 100% certain. Here uh— “

Trying to hold her breath so as to not breathe in any more of the foul smell, (Y/N) rummages through her purse before pulling out a small piece of paper.

“They don’t usually do ultrasounds that early but I made friends with the nurse as I was waiting and they allowed me to get one and see the baby. Don’t really see shit on here if I’m being honest but apparently that blob is our child.” 

Jamie takes the picture, his eyes moving between the image and back to her, down to her stomach then back to the picture. It’s like his head and his eyes are trying to cope with the fact that there is a real baby growing inside her. His baby.

“I just thought you might want to have this, if not just throw it away. I’m not trying to manipulate or guilt you into anything. Let me know when you’ve made a decision. You know where I live and Rebecca has my number just ask her for it — I gotta get out of here. Eurgh.” 

And while an overwhelmed Jamie sinks to the floor of the boot room, ultrasound picture clutched in one hand while the other nervously combs through his hair, (Y/N) throws up in the bin by the front door. 

There are 3 things (Y/N) knows for certain. One of them is that Michelle Pfeiffer as Stephanie Zinone in Grease 2 is the coolest person in the world. The second one is that decaf coffee kinda sucks. And 3 is that whoever is knocking on her door at 9:15 tonight, disrupting her rewatch of Grease 2 better has a good reason to do so if they want to keep their head attached to their body.

Slowly she’s dragging herself towards the door. Today was exhaustion enough both physically and mentally, she really doesn’t need the stress of an unannounced visitor. Not when she’s dressed in an old, oversized Hardrock Cafe shirt, bike shorts, and those ridiculous yellow slippers she got on her last trip to Disney that look like Minnie Mouse’s shoes.

“I’m coming, Jesus — “ 

“I don’t know shit about babies.” 

Jamie looks different as he stands before her on her front steps, hair messy and flat against his head, wearing a big grey sweater. Gone is all the charming confidence and the mischievous smirks. He’s all sad eyes and shy smiles. He reminds (Y/N) of a sad, beaten puppy. She almost feels bad for him. Almost. That’s until the words that just fell from his lips really register in her mind.

“You could’ve just texted me you’re not interested. Didn’t have to come here, really.” 

“What? No, I am! “

“You just said —” 

“I said I don’t know shit about babies. Cause I don’t. But I’m not gonna run off.”

“You won’t?”

Jamie has never looked so genuine, so serious as in that moment and it sends a weird feeling through (Y/N). She didn’t have any expectations in him. You can’t really have those if you don’t even know the person. Sure, she hoped he would take interest in her and the baby but things truly could’ve gone either way. To hear him say that he wants to step up and be there, that’s a feeling she can’t really put into words.

“Can we uh — can I come in? Your neighbor is staring at me.” 

(Y/N) opens the door to let Jamie pass before leaning outside and facing the house next door. Sure enough, old Mrs. Hartley is standing by her window, eyes trained on (Y/N)’s front door. Jesus fucking Christ, do these people not have their own lives? 

The small pink couch looks even smaller with Jamie’s broad frame perched in the corner. He’s holding onto the fluffy white pillow as if he needs some kind of buoy to keep him afloat.

“Do you want tea or something?” 

“Do you have beer?” 

She only raises an eyebrow in response and points to her stomach. 

“Right. Pregnant. Forgot about that for a second, sorry. “

Oh, the privilege of getting to forget about that. 

“I have water, ginger ale, and apple juice.” 

Jamie screws his face in repulsion. If there is one thing she’s learned about Jamie Tartt in the limited time they’ve spent together, it’s that his emotions are always so clearly reflected on his face. She’s not sure he knows exactly how expressive he really is.

“I’m good. Here, I actually brought you some stuff.” 

As she sits down on the couch next to him, Jamie holds out a Tesco bag to her filled to the brim with stuff. 

“What’s all this?” 

He looks bashful, almost shy as he shrugs his shoulders nonchalantly. 

“Just some stuff for your nausea. Google said anything ginger helps so I got these lollies. Also sour candy and crackers. Not sure if it works but I felt so bad seeing you earlier and knowing it's kinda my fault, innit?."

It's such a sweet sentiment that (Y/N) can feel the tears gathering on her waterline. Maybe Jamie is the kind of person she can call when in need. Maybe he can become that person.

"That's very sweet Jamie, oh there's more."

It's a small box with two even smaller socks, so tiny it almost seems impossible that a human being can have such small feet. 

"Saw them and couldn't stop thinking about how cute they were and then I couldn’t stop imagining our baby being so tiny and wearing them and, yeah.” 

“They’re adorable, Jamie. Thank you.” 

His words wrap around her heart like vines. Taking root. Blooming. 

“Our baby”. The thought of having a baby is still so foreign to her. Her own baby, her child. Hearing Jamie call it theirs sends a flutter of feelings through her. Their baby. Part her and part Jamie.

“So what I meant earlier is that I don’t know shit about babies. None of my friends have babies, I have no siblings and all my cousins are around my age so I never really had experience with babies. I know they’re cute and I know they poop a lot. “

“They are pretty cute.”

“Yeah, and our baby?” he says and motions between the two of them “‘s gonna be the cutest fucking baby of all time. It’s genetics.”

The matter-of-fact tone in which he says it pulls a laugh from (Y/N). He does have a point though.

“I am not going to lie, I'm extremely unprepared for this. For being a — a dad.” 

There’s a bitterness there, a heaviness. Maybe Dad is as sharp and as cutting a concept to Jamie as Mum is to (Y/N). 

“Don’t have a dad. Well, I do but he’s right asshole, isn’t he. So I got no idea how to be good at this, had no one to show me. I’ll try though. I want to be different. I need to be. Promised myself when I was a kid that I was not going to be like him, ever.”

“I understand that, trust me Jamie I really do. But I need you to be sure that you want that. I don’t want you to stay around because of some misplaced sense of duty. I want you to want this.” 

"Didn't think I did. When you told me and you gave me an out I wanted to take it. But then I kept looking at that picture, can’t make out anything on it by the way but that doesn’t matter, I kept looking at it and that part of me. That's my baby and I couldn't live with meself if I gave up on it. On you. A lot of people have given up on me in my life and I resent them for it. I can't be the one giving up now, can I? I'm better than that."

She doesn't even realize the tears have found their way out until Jamie's face fills with concern. "Oh no, I didn't mean to make you cry or nothing."

"They're happy tears, I think. I'm really scared, Jamie. Knowing that I don't have to do this all by myself, that helps a bit."

"I promise I'll try to be the best at this. I'll even rub your feet if they're hurting and I fucking hate feet."

Leave it to Jamie to put the humor back into even the most serious and tense of conversations.

"You don't have to rub my feet, that's okay. I do think we should get to know each other better though, now that we're gonna be raising a child together. I know hardly anything about you."

"Uh, you know plenty about me. You know I'm fit, obviously. You know I have great hair. I'm good at football, fucking ace actually. Also sexually."

That little shit has the audacity to wink. it should be annoying. It's weirdly charming though.

"And now you also know that I'm gonna try my best to be good at this. Hey, when the baby is here can I get one of them kangaroo pouch thingies and take them to training with me?"

"Kangaroo pouch? You mean a baby carrier?"

"Yes, that! Strap it to my chest while I do my warm-up."

"You are not taking our baby to training with you, are you insane?"

"I'm joking, Jesus. Would look fucking cool though, maybe get us matching sunglasses. Hats too. Baby icon."

"Oh my god, you know what, maybe this is a bad idea after all."

But it's not, she doesn't mean that. Jamie knows it and (Y/N) knows that he knows. For the first time since those two lines appeared, it feels like she can breathe easy again if even just for a moment. Things will be hard, no doubt but at least she can share it with someone. And it's just an added bonus that someone never fails to put a smile on her face.

"What are you watching there anyway?" Jamie asks, nodding his head towards the tv.

"Grease 2."

"They made a second one? Is it good?"

"No, it's terrible. I love it."

"See," Jamie chimes up, a small genuine smile.on his lips "learned something new about you. The mother of my child loves bad movies. This getting to know each other plan is going so well already."

And while it is a joke, there's also a flicker of truth to it. It's the little things that make us who we are. Like our love for bad movies or our desire to be better than our parents before us.

"Do you wanna stay and watch it with me?"

"Can we start from the beginning?"

"Obviously"

"Then yes! Give me one of them ginger lollies please."

They spent the next few hours watching Grease 2 followed by the first because - well it's just right to watch them both, really. It doesn't feel forced or awkward. This is not two strangers trying to bond for the sake of their child. This is a genuine friendship in the making. It feels wonderful. They exchange numbers, birthdays, favorite colors. It’s all very superficial information but it’s a start and it’s easy. This whole situation is hard enough, sometimes easy is just what you need.

The clock says 12:03 when Jamie decides it's time to go home. 

Just as he is about to leave, one foot already out the door, he turns back with curious eyes.

"Do you know how big the baby is?"

"Uh, no. Pretty tiny I think."

"They didn't tell you what fruit size?"

"Fruit size?"

"Yeah like, it's as big as a strawberry now or something."

(Y/N) shakes her head in response "I think they mostly do that in American movies."

Jamie looks deflated for a fracture of a second before he lightens up again and one of those rare smiles takes over his face. The one that makes him look so boyish and excitable. Like a fucking golden retriever.

"That's okay. I'll find out."

"You do that. Let me know what you find. Have a good night Jamie."

"You too!" Then his eyes move to her stomach "And you too baby."

God, he can be so adorable it's absolutely sickening.

As she lays in bed, (Y/N) thinks back to just the night before. To the anxiety and the fear. To all the what-ifs that ghosted through her head. That seems like a whole lifetime ago and even though a lot of those fears are still present, they get overshadowed tonight. By the knowledge that she's not alone. And by the absolute sunshine that is Jamie Tartt. 

Just before she closes her eyes, her phone dings with a notification. 

Her hand comes to rest gently on her stomach. There’s no change there yet, absolutely no sign of a baby growing in there at this very moment. And yet she knows and that makes all the difference. 

In a voice, soft like silk, she whispers “Daddy says goodnight”. It’s cheesy, outright sickening but in the dark of the night, who is there to judge her for it? Sometimes you have to let yourself be ridiculous and cringy if your heart demands it.

That night she doesn't fall asleep to fear and anxiety. That night she falls asleep with a smile on her face. 

[darlingshane]

Salt of the Earth ~ Part 1

Pairing: Michael Berzatto x OFC

Summary: She was Carmy's best friend growing up, and Michael never looked at her as anything other than that until years later when she comes back to Chicago to start over. In the process, she turns his sorry excuse of a life upside down.

Content/Warnings: Friends to lovers, Fluff, Angst, Family Drama, Dysfunctional relationships, Implied/referenced drug addiction, Alcohol mention, Divorce, Pets, Pet names, Dialogue heavy. Undisclosed age gap (in my mind Michael is late 30s and OC is late 20s, but it's really up to your interpretation).

Word Count: 6.8k // 4 chapters // AO3 link.

A/N: This is set in the year of the Fishes episode on season 2. It starts in summer and slowly builds up to that Christmas.

— This was an anon request that I got a few months ago, I hope you're still around. I tried to fit all the ideas you sent as best I could. There's a bit of info dump on the first chapter, but I hope it isn't too off-putting.

Chapter 1: Best thing since sliced bread

Seconds stretch into minutes, minutes elongate into long hours on slow days like this at The Beef. Especially in summer when the air conditioner stops working for the second time in the middle of August. Any living soul that crosses that door must have a dying wish or be the devil themselves to adventure themselves to what has become Michael's personal hell.

It's been a testing year, and there's so much he can do to fix this place right now. While he waits for Fak to come check the damn AC unit, Michael tends the front while Ebra takes his lunch break.

Turning the paper's pages on the counter, he comes across an article about the extensive fires eating different parts of the country. A wretched thought crosses his mind as he reads – maybe it'd be better to burn this place to the ground and start over. He entertains the idea for a second until the door swings open, inviting more heat into the boiling pot.

He lifts his eyes from the words to find a familiar face approaching the counter. It's not Fak, but a much better vision of someone he used to know.

“Mayhem Maya.”

“Magic Mikey.”

That former thought of burning down this place disappears somewhere in the midst of that beautiful aura that saunters with her big brown eyes, long raven hair, nervous smile, and firm steps.

“It's been a while, Maybird.” Almost ten years since she set foot in this establishment. “What brings you to this hole in the wall?”

“Came to collect that meatball sub you promised at uncle Teddy's funeral, remember?”

“Oh, right.”

Ever since she moved to a different state, he only had seen her a handful of times when she came back for the holidays. Last time he saw her was at the beginning of spring, when her uncle, Ted Silva, passed away.

“I also had an interview at the new vet clinic on the next block.” She places her cross-body bag on an empty stool while she perches her ass on the one next to it.

“How's that going? Did you get tired of California already?”

“No, I love California. But I needed a change of scenery. It's been rough after… you know…” the divorce. She wasn't married for long, but she still can't bring herself to say the word.

“I’ve heard some of it.” He’s pretty much aware of how everything went down. Well, he’s got grapevine’s juicy version of the story, but he never heard her side directly.

Though Michael and Maya know each other as if they were related, they were never close confidants. She always thought he was the coolest guy in Chicago. And he always thought fondly of her, given their families association, and Maya’s close friendship with his brother.

Michael places an order for her sandwich and grabs a soda for her, while she explains she has two more job interviews later.

“Does your mother know you're back?” He folds the paper and props his elbows on the counter.

“She probably does.”

“Still not talking, huh?”

“It's not my fault she made me the black sheep of the family. She’s like vitriol on steroids.”

“Yeah? What happened at the wake? You left before I could say goodbye.”

Michael recalls the tension at the funeral, particularly at the wake when Angela Silva grabbed Maya by the elbow and took her youngest daughter outside the house as if she was still a child that needed to be scolded.

“Nothing. I barely said a word that day. Guess everything I do feels like a personal attack to her. I can admit that I'm not perfect, and that sometimes I've acted up just to get a reaction out of her, but that day she just went off again…” She pauses without finishing that thought to take a refreshing sip of her coke. “And that wasn't nearly as bad as the day I told her I was getting…”

“Divorced? Why can't you say the word? It's not Voldemort.”

“What the hell do you know about Voldemort?”

“How do I… Who took you and Carmy to buy those damn books? Have you forgotten?” Maya shakes her head. “You even tried many times invoking his name, so I was haunted by eaters or something like that. You two were real potterheads.”

“And you were just a pothead,” she laughs, stirring the ice cubes in her drink with a straw. “I totally blocked that out. We were just a couple of nerds.”

“I’d say!”

“Meatball sub!” Richie calls from the pass-through window and takes a second look when catching Maya in the joint. “Maya Papaya?!”

“Please, don’t call me that.” She scoffs while Richie promptly abandons the kitchen and goes around the counter to give her a welcoming hug.

“Did you know she was coming?” He asks Michael, as he props his ass on the bar.

“Had no idea. She just showed up.”

“Did you tell her about Carmy?”

“What about him?”

“He’s in Copenhagen.”

“Oh, I knew about that.”

“You two talk often?”

“Sometimes, I guess.” Barely more likely. They don't even text anymore. She's tried but there's been nothing but crickets at his end for months.

While Richie grills her about Carmy and what she’s been up to, Michael can’t help but look around the shop to notice, from every corner and wall, memories bouncing all at once in his direction. It takes him back in time to those days when she and Carmy were as thick as thieves.

Their shared history goes back to that same street their families have lived on for over thirty years… It’s still clear in his mind, like it was yesterday, when he was forced to babysit them when they wanted to go to the movies or trick-or-treating or the bookstore. That was a little annoying back then, now he fondly remembers all those times in summer, when they’d go to the convenience store to get ice pops on their bikes. Then they’d ride back and sit in the middle of the swanky rug in their living room and watch TV for hours. More than once they were yelled at by Mama Berzatto when she would come home to find melted colorful stains in the fabric. She would lose her shit. Carmy was used to it. Maya wasn’t, but the girl never flinched once cause Donna and her own mother were cut from the same unstable piece of cloth.

Maya and Carmy were really close up until they went separate ways for college. Their bond was something to admire. They had something so special that inevitably, Carmy fell in love with her. She was his best friend and confident. They kept each other's secrets, and Carmy thought she'd feel the same in return. It wasn't a crazy notion. They spent so much time together, everyone thought it'd lead to something more, but that never happened.

Mikey and Richie used to tease the youngest cub relentlessly. They tried multiple times to encourage him to ask her out, but he never found the guts to do it. Especially if it could potentially end their friendship. Carmy didn't want to lose that. Though he never confessed his feelings, Maya always knew. Even in her teens, call it a woman’s intuition, part of her already knew. Maya wished she'd felt the same toward him, but the heart wants what it wants, and she couldn't change that.

What was really fucked up was that she had the most ridiculous crush on the older Berzatto when she was a teen. While she knew he'd never look at her as anything other than Carmy's annoying little friend, that didn't stop her from daydreaming about it for years. It was a secret that no one ever knew and that was placed in a drawer at the back of her mind after she left Chicago.

After graduating, Maya and Carmy stayed in touch for a long time, until their calls and texts became less frequent. They followed different dreams that required a lot of attention and sadly their friendship got hurt in the process.

While she attended Vet School on the west coast, he became a chef on the east.

Maya thrived at school and work. She really went out on her own, and became the woman she always wanted to be. Unsheltered, confident, outspoken. She outgrew her shell and opened herself to new experiences and people. She loved it all. It wasn’t smooth sailing, but for the most part she was pretty happy with her choices.

And now she's back in Chicago, set on a new path and awaiting to see where it takes her.

She’s living in a house in Oak Park with her dog, Coco; Richie fishes out of her. Apparently, she got some money from uncle Teddy, and she’s invested it in a home for her and her beloved staffy.

“Does Carmy know you’re here?” Richie circles back.

“No, I haven't talked to him in months.”

“Why? Did you two have a fall-out or something?”

“There's no why. We're just busy.”

“Mike, help me out here. Weren’t these two fools supposed to get married?”

“Yeah, everyone thought you'd ended up together.”

“Man, I don't know what to tell you, we just didn't,” her head sinks between her shoulders.

“Just get over yourself and hit him up. The kid has been hung up on you since forever. It looks like things didn’t go so well with your marriage and all. You should take that as a sign, you’d never find anyone better than Carmy. The boy could really use some excitement in his life. And so could you.”

“C’mon, leave her alone. Go back to work, Cousin.”

Michael throws her a lifeline, noticing how miserable she looks every time Richie opens his unfiltered mouth.

“He’s not wrong, you know? You and Carmy… it looked like you two had something special.” Michael offers once Richie is back in the kitchen.

“It’s called friendship. You should look it up.” She points out.

“I have Richie.”

“Exactly. You have Richie. Why don't you two marry the other and leave me alone? If you think about it, you were as close to Richie as I was with Carmy. Even more. Should everyone assume you are in love with him? Cause that's what you're implying.”

“Touché. I'll drop it.”

“Look, as hard as it is to believe, there was nothing else between us. I was aware he felt something for me, but I didn’t feel the same.”

“You should give him a chance sometime. He might surprise you.”

It’s not the first time these two have been trying to play matchmaker between Maya and Carmy, and it’s bizarre to see they still do at any given opportunity.

“Okay, if I give Carmy a chance, you have to give Richie a chance. Those are the rules, Berzatto.”

“Oh, I've tried. He's not into me,” he remarks, amused, and leans closer to confess something in a lower voice. “Do you wanna know a secret?”

“Uh, sure.”

“He and Tiffany are having a baby. He just told me a few days ago.”

“What? You let him reproduce? I'll pray for Tiff.”

Chapter 2: Cool as a cucumber

Everything falls slowly into place as Maya settles back in Chicago. She secures the job at the clinic near The Beef, which is a huge relief after her rushed decision of moving back to her hometown without securing a job first. It was part of the plan all along to practice what she loves but never thought this would be the year. As much as she loved California, once her divorce was finalized she felt like something was trapping her there. And the money she got from her uncle gave her some leeway to improvise, get away from all that, and start over.

Maya is spending her morning going through the stack of unpacked boxes, finding a good place for everything, making it feel more homey. It's not a big house, but spacious enough for the two of them. The big selling point was the backyard for Coco to zoom around and cool down in her wading pool, which she loves. It didn't take long for the five-year-old pup to get used to her new neighborhood. They've even made a couple of friends at the park nearby.

A moment before the doorbell rings, Coco whines from her spot by the window, where she often sits to watch passers in the street.

“Who is it?” Maya playfully asks her dog as she makes her way to the front door.

Through the peephole, she sees Michael's profile as he inspects the porch.

“Hi,” her eyes widen as she opens the door. “Didn't know you were coming.”

“Yeah, I would've called, but I didn't get your number the other day.” But he got her address from Richie's intense questioning when she visited the shop.

“I knocked on two different houses until I got the right one,” he explains as Coco curiously circles around his feet, sniffing his pants, hitting his crotch with her nose in the process.

“No, Coco. Sit. How many times have we talked about no nut-tapping?” Maya glances at her with amusement as the dog sits on her haunches.

“It’s fine,” he snorts. “All dogs do that.”

“Yeah, tell me about it. But she’s not any other dog. I thought I had taught her better. So what brings you here?”

“This.” He offers the paper bag hanging in his hand. “It's just a little house-warming gift.”

“You didn't have to.” As she takes the bag from his hand she ushers him inside before closing the door.

“It's nothing, really.”

He glances around as Maya takes out the box from the bag.

“Wow, a set of knives? That's not nothing.”

“Everyone needs one good set of knives. But you can exchange them for something else if you want.”

“No. I like these. But I gotta warn you that I'm not much of a cook, and I'll probably use the same one for everything.”

“That's fine I can show you sometime though. Is she friendly? ” He points at the dog that keeps staring at him. “Can I pet her?”

“Yeah, she loves everyone. Go ahead.”

Michael cautiously pets the brown coat of her head as her floppy ears lower at the passing of his hand.

“Never pictured you with a pit bull.”

“Me neither. I always thought I'd be a cat lady. But I met her at this adoption drive when she was one, and she stole my heart.”

“I can see why.” Michael crouches down, and pets Coco with both hands. “She's really sweet.”

He lets her lick his chin a couple of times before standing back on his feet. Then they go on a tour around the house.

“It's still a work in progress. I'm thinking of painting a few walls, but we like it so far.”

“Yeah, it has good bones.”

“So you don't have to work today?” Asks Maya.

“No, we've had some trouble with the gas line, and we've been shut down for a couple of days.”

“That sucks. Now where am I going to get my sandwiches and coffee on my way to work?”

“Heard Starbucks is pretty good.”

“Shut up. Don't even joke about that.” She playfully shoves his shoulder as they go back to the living room.

“Are you doing something later?”

She shakes her head. “Why?”

“I don't know, thought you were having a comeback party or something.”

“I don't really have any friends here. And I don't feel like inviting my family yet. As you can see, I still have a lot to unpack.”

“Physically or mentally speaking?”

“Both,” she scoffs.

“Let's do something then? Just you and me. We could grab some pizza, or go out for a drink for old times’ sake?”

“Old times’ sake?” It's amusing, surprising and confusing his sudden interest in her. Maybe he can see how pathetic she thinks she is, and he's taking pity on her. Although, that was never Michael style.

“Yeah, c'mon, Mayhem. You look like you could use some fun.” He picks up a book that's sitting on top from the box opened by the couch that's titled — Dating Again with Courage and Confidence: The Five-Step Plan to Revitalize Your Love Life after Heartbreak, Breakup, or Divorce. “And maybe a rebound or something. You don't need a fucking help book. You only need me to show where to get the best guys, or girls. Whatever you're into.”

“Give me that. I don't need a rebound, a help book, or you for all matter finding me a date.”

“No? Then why do you have that?”

“My friend Paige thought I should give it a try.”

“Maybe she was onto something there.”

“I'm perfectly fine. Just want to finish organizing everything, focus on work and this handful I have right here.” Her hand gestures at Coco. “What are you so interested in my love life anyway? First you try to play matchmaker with Carmy, and now you want me to do what, exactly? Hook up with the first guy I see?”

“No, I'm just asking you to go out and have some fun. I know Carmy was the only friend you had here. And if I was in your shoes, I'd feel pretty lonely.”

“I'm not lonely, Michael. Do I miss my friends in Sacramento? Sure,” she admits. “But I don't wanna force anything. I'm just taking it slow. When the time comes I'll jump right in but for now, this is all I need. Really. Stop pitying me.”

“I'm not pitying you, sweetheart.”

“No? Then what is it? Where is this coming from?”

“I don't know… I've always thought you were the salt of the earth. And though we never really hung out together, I thought you could use… But I can see now that you're different, and that you know what you need right now, so I'll just shut up and back off. Let you do your thing.”

“Thank you. I do know what I'm doing, by the way. You don't have to worry about me. I'll be fine. But I appreciate you coming here anyway.”

“Yeah, of course. And I can help you unpack if you need.”

“Hm, if you don't have anything better to do, be my guest. We could grab a pizza later, if the offer still stands. Or just order some food.”

“Sure.”

Michael helps Maya unpack all the boxes and put everything in place in half the time it'd have taken her alone. They order some food for lunch and spend half the day talking and laughing until late in the afternoon when they decide to go out for some drinks to keep the good vibes going.

At the end of the night, she offers to drive Michael back to his apartment as a thank you for inviting her.

“Did you have fun?” Michael asks from the passenger seat as she pulls up in front of his building.

“Yeah, I did. I'm glad I changed my mind.”

“Me too. I didn't know you were this fun. You're nothing like I remember.”

“Yeah, I was kind of weird growing up. You guys probably thought there was something wrong with me. ”

“Nah, don't be so hard on yourself. We were all weird in our own way.”

“Uh-uh. No Michael Berzatto. You were the coolest guy back in the day, and you still are.”

“I don’t know about that,” he scoffs. “For the record… I never thought there was anything wrong with you.”

“You were probably the only one… Anyway, thank you for today. I know I said I didn't need this, but I guess I did.”

“You're welcome, Maybird. I'm glad you’re back.”

“Yeah, me too.”

“Thanks for bringing me home,” he softly squeezes her arm before reaching for the handle to open the door.

“No problem.”

“You know you can call me if you ever miss your friends, y’know?” he throws casually.

“I uh…sure. I will.”

“Okay.”

“Okay,” she echoes back as he pulls the handle and the door opens.

“Have a good night, Michael,” she says as he gets one foot on the pavement.

“You, too, sweetheart.”

He closes the door and vaguely waves as she sets the car in motion and watches her drive away.

Chapter 3: Don't cry over spilled milk

In the few weeks he's been spending time with Maya, Michael has found himself enjoying her company more than he'd like to admit. Being with her grounds him. She makes him forget for a little while all that's wrong in his life. She's like a beacon in that immerse darkness that his sorry existence has become. Despite having her own set of problems, he's watched her rise above all that with poise. He wonders what it's her secret to her steadfast determination, even when her own family has disavowed her.

After closing shop, he dives into his stash to tame that brewing headache before driving to Oak Park to pay her a visit. She told him earlier via text that she was at Home Depot buying some paint to update the color of her bedroom and asked him to come over to hang out after work.

For some reason, he couldn't say no. Not even the storm in his head is strong enough to deny her request. He has a pull on him, tugging him hard like a dog tied to a leash in her hand, he can’t help but follow her lead.

When he arrives at her house, she's halfway done. Two of the walls shine bright new in a lavender tone as she starts working on the next one.

After having beer and playing a tug of war game with his new friend, Coco, Michael offers his help to finish painting the walls. He uses a brush to paint the corners, while she gracefully uses a roller like a pro with her denim overalls over a tank top, and her raven hair pulled up in a ponytail sprinkled with lavender paint beads. When she lifts one of her arms, he catches a glimpse of a tattoo on the side of her rib cage, leveled to the roundness of her chest that looks like the outline of a dog paw.

“What are you looking at?” She asks after catching him staring.

“You have paint on your chin.”

“Oh.” She wipes it with the back of her hand, but she just spreads the stain along her jaw. “I made it worse, didn't I?”

“Yeah.”

She shrugs it off and continues with the task ahead until the whole wall is covered.

“Is everything okay, Bear?” Maya puts down the paint roller. “You're quieter than usual.”

“Yeah, everything's alright.” It sounds so honest, he almost believes it. “It's just been a long day.”

“I'm sorry that I put you to work.”

“Don't be. This is relaxing.”

“Yeah?” She takes a step back and surveys how much brighter her bedroom looks already after covering most of the former downcast grey. “Is the color right? Do you think it's too girlish?”

Giving the room a once over he says, “it's a good shade. I dig it. It doesn't matter what I think or if it's too girlish, as long as you like it. Do you like it?”

“Yeah. I do.”

She dips the roller on the tray to cover another section of the wall.

“You never told me what happened at the funeral with your mom,” Michael leans on the stepladder, taking a short break.

“Do you really wanna know?” She glances over her shoulder.

“Yeah. Everyone does. I’ve heard some crazy stories about it. Thought I should get it straight from the source.”

“I never pegged you for a gossip girl.”

“I’m not. I’m just making conversation.”

She mockingly narrows her eyes, drawing a lopsided smirk, “liar.”

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t wanna. But yeah, can’t help being a little curious about it.”

“I don’t mind telling you, but it won’t be as entertaining as those crazy stories people have made up.”

“I’m not here for entertainment. I just wanna hear your side of the story, Maybird.”

Maya lets out a heavy sigh and while keeping her focus on the wall she shares with him what really happened. She’s right to say that is not the best story she’s ever told, though when it comes to her mother, all her stories tend to have a surreal element even she can’t fathom sometimes.

That day at the funeral, she was taken outside during the wake by Angela Silva to get scolded about her imminent divorce. It wasn’t finalized by then, and her mom invoked one last Hail Mary to convince her to stay with her husband, who was also currently dating someone else. It was a messy situation that Maya couldn't wait to get out of, and the fact that her mother never offered an ounce of support wasn’t surprising, but still devastating. Somehow, Angela found that the reason for her separation from her husband was that Maya didn’t want to have kids, and that really vexed Angela. All she wanted for her three kids was to follow the same traditional path Angela was forced into, no matter how miserable she was. Her two older sisters followed her mother’s narrowed traditional values. But Maya, ever-the-nonconformist, swore she would never follow anyone’s drum beat but her own. Her husband thought she’d change her mind eventually. He was wrong. She knew that wasn’t going to happen anytime soon, which led her here, to this moment.

“Is your mom ever happy?” Michael has always wondered.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen her happy, except when she’s drunk. That’s why she has to make everyone else miserable.”

“Yeah, but she’s always had a fixation on making you miserable.”

“Like I said, every family needs a black sheep, and I’m it.”

“Is that why you became a vet?”

“Yeah, probably.”

“So, it's true, you don’t wanna have kids? I’m not judging. I’m just curious.”

“I honestly don't know. I just knew that when he told me he wanted to have a baby right away, it didn’t feel right. I said that maybe in six or seven years I’d be okay with it. Told him I wanted to travel and just be us for a while, and he said that was too long to wait. I don’t know… he stopped talking to me, and it was clear that he wasn’t changing his mind, and I wasn’t changing my mind, so. At some point I got tired of trying… He got a girlfriend as soon as I filed for divorce and I got a text from Paige the other day that said he got her already pregnant, like… that was never me. I guess it served me right… I married him on a whim, an impulse without really talking about what we wanted…”

“Hey, don’t feel sorry for yourself. You dodged a bullet there.”

“You really think that?.”

“Yeah, I do. You stood up for yourself and knew when to step back when it didn’t feel right. Not everyone has the balls to do that. Think how miserable you’d be by now if you had tried to please him or your mom. You seem happy now. That's what matters.” He means that with all his heart, and wishes he had the same drive to follow those same steps. As much as he loved the restaurant, he chose to run it to please people within his family. And that love turned into a nightmare he couldn't escape.

“You know… I liked you better when you were quiet,” she quips.

Michael huffs a soft laugh, picking up his brush to resume painting.

When the room is finished, she plugs a couple of fans and closes the door to keep Coco away.

Maya washes her hands and face in the bathroom sink. When she comes out, she catches the motion of Michael's arm as he shoves what looks like a pill into his mouth before taking a gulp of water from one of her glasses.

“What was that? Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah. It's just a headache,” looking down, he runs a palm over his short growing beard.

“Is it the fumes?”

“No, I had it before coming here.”

“Michael,” she sighs softly at his name. “You should've told me. I wouldn't have let you help if I knew.”

“Would you stop that? I wanted to help.”

“Okay, c'mere. Let's sit down.”

“No, I think I should get going.”

“Nonsense. I'm not going to let you drive until you feel better.”

He yields with a long exhale, and follows Maya into the living room, where her bed is settled askew in the middle of the space.

She takes a seat on the edge of the mattress and waits for him to sit next to her.

“Give me your hand,” she shows her palm up, as his eyes narrow. “C'mon, don't be a baby, give me your hand, Berzatto.”

“When did you become so bossy?” He slowly lifts his hand and as he lays it on top of her palm, his fingers tremble upon contact with her skin. Maya then uses her opposite hand to clip the webbing between his thumb and pointer fingers with her own and begins massaging that spot.

“My friend Sierra is really into acupressure. She says this is a pressure point that helps with headaches.” She explains while slowly increasing the force. “Does it hurt?”

“Not one bit. Is that like acupuncture?” His voice comes as a whisper as he focuses on her diligent fingers.

“Kinda. I think. I’m not really sure.”

“You don't have to fix me, you know?”

“I'm not trying to fix you, Bear. I just wanna make you feel better.”

“Admit it. You just love a good wounded animal.”

She smiles softly, placing his hand down on his knee and picking up the other. “Does it feel any different?”

He’s not really sure, it wasn’t truly a headache that led them to take that pill but the annoying rambling of his thoughts. She shouldn’t have seen that. And he shouldn’t have lied. But having her hands on his like this is straight up lovely. Inside of him, it truly feels like something is broken, wounded, and missing, and this is giving him a sliver of relief as he waits for the pill to kick in. If he was a better man, he’d tell her the truth. But he’s too far gone for saving. All he can do is keep that facade up.

“Does it?” She insists after not getting an answer.

“A little.”

“Do you wanna lay down?”

Swallowing, he responds with a nod, and they both lean back on the mattress at the same time. Looking at the ceiling, she keeps kneading that pressure point, unsure if she’s even doing it right.

They stay in comfortable silence for a good five minutes and when she finally places his hand down, Maya glances to the side and sees that his eyes have closed, and his chest gently rising and falling. She calls his name softly, but she can see that behind the sharp edges of his face and the ever-growing shade of his beard, he’s truly exhausted, so she doesn’t insist. She extends her hand to turn off the lamp, and curls on the other side of the bed without disturbing his sleep.

“Good night,” she says softly and closes her eyes.

From a dusty corner of her mind comes crawling that little forgotten part that used to harbor a lot of feelings for Michael. Though a few weeks ago he seemed practically the same Michael she knew, over the past month she’s keenly noticed little changes here and there. His eyes sometimes cast a dark shade tainted in nothing but sadness, it’s barely noticeable for other people. It comes and goes, but it tells her he’s not truly as happy as he pretends to be.

Michael wakes up disoriented at the crack of dawn.

It takes him a few seconds to remember he’s still in Mayas’ bed in the middle of her living room and that the weight that has his arm pinned is her body pressed against his. She’s warmly snuggled on his side, with her arms tucked between his chest and hers, and a peaceful expression on her beautiful face. She’s so awfully close, he can smell the scent of her hair, and feel the heat of her breath every time she exhales.

It's such an odd moment for him to have her that close. He's unsure of whether it would be better to slip out of bed unnoticed before she wakes up, or just stay there and watch her sleep for a bit longer. Either option would make him look like a creep, he thinks. So he opts to gently wake her up. His free hand reaches to his forehead to move a stand of hair away. Her brow scrunches as his light-feather touch grazes her skin. His lips curve up as he traces the shell of her ear to see her stir awake. She blinks slowly a couple of times until her focus shifts onto him.

“Hey, Maybird.”

“Hey.” Her lips move, it's barely audible.

“Sorry, I fell asleep.” His fingers absentmindedly massage her earlobe.

She's so stunned by waking up to that level of intimacy, she simply nods, as her mouth softly draws a smile.

“It's fine. Does your head feel better?”

“Much better. That pressure thing really worked.”

“I'm glad.”

“Listen, I gotta go open. Maybe we could do something later?”

“Okay,” she swallows nervously, hoping that waking up with him like this isn't just a dream. “Can you do me a favor first?”

“Sure.”

“Can you stay five more minutes?”

“I uh… I think I can,” against his better judgment, he decides he can stay for a few minutes more holding her.

The way her lips pull up timidly at the corners, revealing the dimples framing her mouth, completely disarms him. He’s always felt a certain affinity towards her, but being this close to her awakes a longing within that feels dangerous. He can’t bring someone new into his life. Not while everything around him is falling apart. It’s already hard enough having to pretend around other people.

He couldn’t do that to her. He won’t.

Michael will have to fight harder because when her arm tucks around his waist he can’t help but press his lips against her forehead.

Chapter 4: Hard nut to crack

Four months later…

After that initial moment of weakness when he fell asleep on her bed, he fought hard to elude that odd longing that has only grown into a big mass of love toward Maya. To anyone else in the world, a feeling as big as that would be a blessing, especially when it's reciprocated. To Michael, it's a weakness he can't afford right now.

Spending all that time with Maya has been like discovering a whole new planet Michael never thought existed. She's all vast, uncharted territory that fazes him more than it should. Despite his best efforts, he’s fallen into her alluring orbit and can’t find the way out into his own universe.

Far gone is that moody teenager that would mumble a few words here and there. And now there's this tragically stunning woman that looks you directly in the eye, says anything that crosses her mind, and laughs without a care in the world.

Though falling in love with her wouldn’t be completely wrong, it's not quite right either. It fills him with guilt to think about her in that manner. Moreover, it feels like a betrayal to Carmy, who’s far away in a different continent, prospering in his craft.

Michael tries to fool himself into believing that this is just temporary infatuation. He’s even attempted several times to convince her to get in touch with Carmy but hasn’t succeeded. It’d be easier for him if she were to put her focus on someone else instead of him. He has nothing to offer to her and has deemed himself unworthy of her, or anyone for that matter. If she only knew what’s really going on with him, she wouldn’t want Michael nearly as she believes she does.

Layer by layer, she’s tearing all his walls and defenses down. And after all the back and forth, he's absolutely sure she wants more than he can offer her. She’s been giving him the right signals. She doesn't shy away from it. Maya is direct and impulsive, and everything about her is fascinating and intimidating.

It’s time to either cut her loose, or accept that he’s madly in love with her and do something about it.

Amidst coming to terms with a final decision, he's lured into a surprise party she's organized for his birthday.

Michael is left speechless by her determination. And a little annoyed too for reasons he can't explain. To be honest, he’s never been a fan of surprise parties, but the main problem is that this would make things much harder for him to let her down easily. She’s carved herself into his life and the longer he drags this out, the worse this is going to hurt.

He’s aware that it’s selfish and obtuse of him for being that ungrateful that someone who cares that profoundly about him, that they would go all out to prove that. He feels like an asshole, but the train has already left the station.

Using the same tiring self-defense mechanism, he draws his best smile and brings out the Michael everyone seems to love. Not without help. There's always that crutch tucked in his wallet in the form of a pill. Being high numbs him enough to deal with the situation.

The cherry on top comes at the end of the night, when he walks her up to her car and asks if he's had a good time. He lies through his teeth and for the first time, he can tell Maya is not buying it. Perhaps she never did, but he's well-versed on her tells by now, and he can clearly see she's fed up with all the bullshit that comes out of his mouth.

“Look, it's not that I didn't like the party. It's just that I hate surprises, and I was exhausted today. But it was a nice thought, sweetheart. I just… I wasn't in the right mood.” It's seemingly convincing the second time around, but her face shows nothing but regret. “I love the jacket you bought me, though.”

Michael has never been interested in fashion, but he's always loved vintage jackets, and the one she picked it's a perfect addition to his collection. It's a bomber jacket, aviator style, in brown leather with a couple of patches and fur collar.

As they reach Maya's car, they come to a stop. She turns to him, “I know I can be a little too much sometimes. But I promise no more surprises from now on.”

“You and I both know, you won’t be able to keep that promise even if your life depended on it. That's part of what makes you– you, sweetheart. Don’t let my bad mood ruin that.”

“I’ll try.”

After a beat, without hesitation she leans in to leave a goodnight kiss on his bearded cheek and on a whim, she decides to press a second one on his lips.

It takes him completely aback. He wants to dive so badly into her mouth, but he freezes on the spot. And when Maya attempts to deepen the kiss, he finally reacts by placing a placating hand on her shoulder as he pulls his head back.

“I'm… I'm sorry we can't do this, Maya.”

“Wait, I thought… Did I misread something?”

“No, you didn’t misread anything. I just can’t do this.”

“Why?”

“I can't.”

“You can't or don’t want to?”

“Guess I don’t want to.”

“Can you at least tell me why? Did I do something wrong?”

“You did nothing wrong, sweetheart.” He wants to spill out the old – it's not you, it's me – excuse, but he refrains. Every thought and action go against every good instinct he's ever had. He hates himself for making her feel insecure. And yet, he can't backtrack now.

“Stop calling me sweetheart. You see how misleading that is?”

“Sorry. I think I gave you the wrong impression.”

Her eyes narrow, and he can see the gears turning for a long moment before opening her mouth.

“I don't think you gave me the wrong impression, Michael. I think you're too chickenshit to admit that there's something between us and, for whatever reason, you're just taking the coward's way out. You've been weird the whole night, especially with me. I just threw a party just for you, the least you can do is tell me why.”

“I didn't ask you to do that. And I don't owe telling you shit! I was trying to let you go easy, but nothing is ever easy with you. So I'll just say it. This, you and me, is never going to happen.”

It sounds ridiculous as it comes out of his mouth, but he stands firm on that statement as her heart breaks in front of him.

In the end, it'd be better for her, he believes.

[seattlesellie]

mirage

pairing: ellie williams x reader

summary: ellie doesnt like you. she cant. and then she does. but fuck, she cant.

warnings: suggestive themes, cursing, not proofread, lowercase on purpose

authors note: just wrote this on my phone. lil blurb abt ellie and u on a hot summer day and theres nothing i love more than ellie being pissed and reader being a sunshine, literally.

it was a hot, summer day. one of those days where your lips get swollen from the dryness of the air, and your breathing gets heavier with every step you take. the sun was cooking you up, quite literally. you could just feel the stinging pain of the sunburn forming on your shoulders.

what didn’t help this situation was at all was patrol. neither was the fact that your patrol partner was ellie. ellie motherfucking williams. the one girl that made your blood boil, the only person in the world you had to walk on fucking eggshells with, since every word you said, every sentence you formed, seemed to piss her off. she was like a mosquito to you, buzzing in your ear, not letting you sleep, never giving you any peace. was it your sweet voice that made her mad? was it your light steps, compared to her heavy ones? was it maybe the sound of your laughter filling up the room - every time she walked in? you couldn’t quite point your finger at it. something about you ate her up alive, biting forcefully.

“just fucking walk already” she said, dominating as ever. it wasnt her fault the flowers bloomed so beautifully - you had to get another look.

you stared her down, frowning at her demand, still crunched up with your nose deep in the blossom of the white daisies.

“i just wanted to see the fucking flowers, ellie. lighten up, jeez” you said, getting up quickly, trying to hide the fact that you were hurt at her words. it wasnt like you liked her or anything, but something about her made you want, no, need her to accept you. everyone else did. dina fucking loved you from the moment you walked in to jackson, all hurt and disheveled, jesse thought you were the fucking coolest and hell - even joel took a liking to you. everyone but her.

“just be useful for once and walk” she demanded, yet again.

you picked out a small flower, sighing at your patrol partner’s unwanted words.

“we need to clear this house and then you can go flower picking or whatever the fuck” ellie said, rolling her eyes so far back into her head you thought she might have an aneurism. her voice was stinging you harder than a bee.

“fine” you muttered. if you weren’t so small, figuratively speaking, compared to the auburn haired girl, you might have even cussed her out. told her she could go fuck off, do the patrol on her own and abandon you. but you couldn’t, because you were you, and she was ellie, and she always got the last word.

“fine” she spat back, and threw her hand ever so carelessly at the air so you could get the clue and follow her lead.

you followed her, keeping quite a large distance between the two of you. somehow, you swore to god himself, you could feel her. she wasn’t even close to you at that point, and yet her presence was still haunting you in the most physical sense of the word. her steps on the drying leaves - loud, stomping them. mad. her backpack - slamming against her back, making a small thump with every hit.

“could you walk any louder?” you said, raising your voice so she could hear you over the sounds of her own stomps.

“i could, actually” ellie retreated, sarcastic as ever. her voice was dry - was it her annoyance at her inexperienced, ever so easily distracted patrol partner? or was it the hot, dry, summer air bathing in her lungs?

she started purposely stomping even harder, all in order to piss you off. she loved seeing just what made you tick. one step closer to breaking you completely. for some reason - she needed it. needed you to tell her you were done, needed you to tell her to back off, to stop being so fucking mean. but you never did. the why of it all killed her. why didn’t you just put her in her place? why didnt you snap already? and why did she need to know so damn bad?

“real mature” you said, followed by a deep sigh. honestly, you were too busy focusing on how your sweat made your white tank top stick to the bottom of your breasts right now. too busy by your own uncomfortableness to give in to her bickering.

and then - you spotted it. the clear water almost blinding you with the reflection of the glistening sun. a lake. the lake. dina told you all about it, how when you take this patrol road, theres the most beautiful lake hidden by a number of trees. how jesse and her were convinced they were hallucinating as a result of the glaring sun, but when they realized it was real, not some mirage, they ran so fast dina almost tripped on a wire and took a dip, getting lost at the feeling of the cool water against their burning skin.

“ellie!” you shouted with excitement, like a little kid who spotted his favorite gummy at the candy store. when she didnt turn around - pretending to ignore you, you ran so fast to her you practically almost bumped into her back.

“ellie, look!” you exclaimed, pulling at her backpack and physically turning her around. she seemed startled, looking for any signs of danger, ignoring the huge smile on your face that would have pointed to her that the only danger was you.

“what? what?” she said, a bit frantic, already reaching over with her hand to grab her trusty switchblade. infected she could handle - but you and infected? she wasn’t sure she’d be able to pull through.

“the lake!” you were jumping up and down, still holding the back of her backpack, making her move with every leap.

she looked at you with a confused face, eyebrows squint together, her nose slightly scrunched. if you didnt find her so insufferable, you might have even thought that was the cutest face youve ever seen.

“wha…- what lake?” she said, eyes scanning the area. ellie williams - the ever so diligent.

“are you blind? look-“ you said, pointing at a bunch of trees.

“are you okay? are you having a heatstroke?” ellie said, half serious - half amused, looking at you up and down.

“just-“ you said, and grabbed her arm forcefully in order to guide her through. she didnt know if you could feel it, or if she had imagined it, but the contact of your small hand on her wrist made her pulse fasten. or maybe - it was the possibility of danger. she would definitely have preferred the latter. that was her reason to her heart dropping to her boxers. danger, not you. not the touch of the pretty girl, definitely not that.

she let you guide her - while her conflicting thoughts ate her burning skin up.

“faster, ellie c’mon!” you said, panting as you walked faster and faster, dragging the girl behind you.

jesus. those words, coming out of your delicate lips, they arose something in her, yet again. did she wish you said them in a different context? shit up, stupid fucking brain, shut the fuck up. the green eyed girl thought to herself. not her.

“i swear to god - if youre trying to kill me or something, ill fucking stab you” she said, still following your lead.

“you would be dead” you extorted back, with a stupid grin on your face you were grateful she didn’t catch. as if.

finally, you were there. you weren’t hallucinating, this was a fucking lake. and if you weren’t with that certain auburn haired girl, you would have taken all your clothes off and jumped right in. gosh, it was so fucking tempting.

“ta da!” you said, beaming, borderline salivating at the thought of the cool clear water caressing your skin.

“no” she deadpanned and walked away slowly, eyes glued to the lake, and then to you.

“i’m not doing that” ellie said.

“what? you cant swim?” you said, poking at her shoulder.

playful. you were being playful. and she didn’t know how to fucking react.

“i can fucking swim” she said with a sigh, hand forming a fist. what an grumpy toddler you thought to yourself.

“were on fucking patrol, y/n, i’m not going in” she said, certain of herself. she wasn’t supposed to lose control around you.

“suit yourself, williams, i’m taking a dip” you said with a sly smile, batting your eyelashes sarcastically at the girl. she let out a small chuckle, and then coughed.

she doesn’t get to have you like this, ellie, get it fucking together.

and then, without warning - you started stripping, desperately trying to get the sticky fabric away from you.

“jesus” she said with a loud voice, panicked look on her face - as if she walked in on someone doing the wrong thing. her eyes were flickering over everything that wasnt you. the tree, the ground, her feet, the lake. she could have turned around, she knew she could. but that wouldve made it even weirder.

first - it was your tank top. and then - your pants. and stupidly enough, you thought you could make her laugh. so what you did - was starting to unclasp your delicate pink bra, almost taking it off.

“what the fuck?!” ellie panicked again, and this time - she turned. it wasn’t because she didnt want to see, she didnt want you to see. her face was burning up - cheeks red as a rose.

“i’m fucking kidding, jesus ellie - i wasn’t gonna skinny dip… not with you around, anyways”

the joke landed terribly. ellie didnt find you stripping in front of her to be funny - it was anything but.

you kicked the sand under your shoes, awkwardness sending a shiver down your spine. you started fighting with your bra, trying to clasp in back on, but your clumsy hands, and the fact that you had your underboob on display in front of ellie made your hands shake even more. what the fucking hell were you thinking.

“fuck” you murmured, followed by a bunch of annoyed grunting at your failed attempt to clasp it back on,

“shit!” you were full on battling with it now.

ellie was just there. standing still, fidgeting with her hands.

“help me?” you said in a quite voice, shameful.

she let out a breathy laugh followed by an “ahh”

“fuck you, fix your own mess” she chuckled to herself.

got you.

“s’not funny, i cant do it!” you said, visibly frustrated.

“nope” she said, popping the p. she sounded so fucking satisfied with herself.

“fix your own mess” you mimicked, mocking her with a high pitched voice.

“did you just fucking mock me?” that was the last straw. she turned around, crossing her hands, still somehow trying to avoid your gaze. she was in her element now. and the element was anger. embarrassment, awkwardness, she couldn’t do - not anymore. but anger? that was her.

you were still fidgeting with your stupid bra, but somehow managed to keep your tits from spilling out.

“help. me.” you demanded, shooting arrows at her with your gaze.

“beg.” she extorted, eyes filled with pride. she couldn’t let that one go.

“pfft” you rolled your eyes- trying to ignore the butterflies creeping up on you. why did she make you feel like this?

“never” you said, trying to keep your composure, hands flailing behind you.

she walked towards you, slowly, like an animal who found her prey. she was a lion - you, a lamb. a half naked one.

she got even closer.

“then i’m not helping” she said, ever so casually. her her eyes - everything but casual.

part 2?

[writerblue275]

I read Heartsteel!Sett becoming a dad and AUUUUUH MY HEART I LOVED IT 😭❤️😭❤️

and now I gotta predictably ask about Heartsteel!Kayn becoming a dad cuz I’m wEAK HFJFJFHHF

Mystic!! Hello!!! I’m so glad you enjoyed my Heartsteel!Sett dad headcanon! But ooooh Heartsteel’s resident bad boy becoming a dad? I love it. Let’s gooooooo! (Also listen I totally get it. I’m WEAK for Kayn too he's just such a menace to my sanity I swear to god.😭)

Heartsteel!Kayn becoming a dad

Previous members: Sett

Genre: Headcanon

Type: FLUFF (with slight frank discussion of unprotected sex and v slight suggestive undertones at one point.)

Gender: Not necessarily specified but mention of carrying a pregnancy and such (though sex does not equal gender as we all know).

TW: Swearing. Discussion of risks of unprotected sex. Discussion of pregnancy things and labor.

Extra context: In this instance we’re assuming a well-settled relationship. Like cohabitation and shit.

So the start of this really depends on on an important factor: Is the baby planned? Because while I think Kayn’s course of action and thoughts would eventually line up on the same path regardless if the baby is planned or not, his initial reaction I could see being SUPER different. In this scenario, let’s say the baby isn’t planned:

Now of course Kayn knew there was a risk. Both of you did. No matter how prepared and careful both of you were before/while/after having sex, nothing is truly 100% effective at preventing a pregnancy besides abstinence. And let’s be so for real, abstinence and Kayn are like oil and water. Also it’s not like you didn’t want him. You certainly enjoyed yourself as much as he did.

And sure he’d thought a little bit about an accidental baby.

But not MUCH. And he certainly didn’t expect it to actually happen.

So when you tell him the news and show him the positive pregnancy test, it’s almost like he’s hit by lighting.

Kayn freezes, his wide eyes glued to the positive pregnancy test in your hand. “P-pregnant? Holy shit, (Y/N), you’re pregnant?

You sigh and nod. “Y-yeah…and I-I don’t know what to do…I don’t know what you want to do. I kn-know this isn’t r-really part of our p-plans right n-now. I-I wasn’t positive that’s what was g-going on until I took the s-second test today...” your voice fades off and your bottom lip wobbles ever so slightly.

The change in your voice has him looking back at your face, and seeing the distress in your eyes, Kayn quickly, but gently, reaches out and pulls you to him, wrapping you in a tight hug. He realizes this is as much of a shock to you as it is to him.

As you burrow against his shoulder and let out a sniffle, he kisses the top of your head. “Hey…hey, it’s okay, angel,” he murmurs. “Please don’t cry…please don’t cry, baby…I’m just surprised, that’s all. Yes this isn’t what we planned for right now, but I guess when the hell does life ever go according to plan?”

“Y-you’re not upset? Or mad?” your voice trembles.

Kayn gently makes you look at him, pecking your lips softly. “Baby, why would I be upset or mad? It’s not like you’re at fault for anything. I was just as much involved in this. Besides, we talked about the possibility of having kids in the future. And while we didn’t expect this part of our future to come so soon, what I know is you’re the person I want to have my future with. I love you. You make me the best version of myself and I can’t see my future with anyone else but you. If you want to have this baby, then I’ll be right next to you the entire way, helping you kick pregnancy’s ass and we’ll raise the coolest and most badass kid anyone has ever met.”

You let out a little laugh at that and wipe your eyes.

He grins at your reaction. “So don’t worry about what I want. Because all I want is for you to be happy, (Y/N). Whatever you want to do, I love you and I’m with you all the way.” He emphasizes his point with a kiss to your forehead.

Kayn’s reaction was better than you could have ever imagined. And you know he means everything he said, so…you and him decide to become parents.

And while of course becoming a father meant some things had to change, it wasn’t as big of a behavior shift as one might think.

He’d already given up drinking/substances (sober!Kayn headcanon returns!) and he wasn’t as much of a party animal as he used to be before he met and fell in love with you. He wasn’t kidding when he said you bring out the best version of himself.

Can you imagine Kayn telling the rest of Heartsteel the news? (I think he’d tell them early on since he’d want to be able to go to your appointments and such.) Their mix of shock and glee.

Ezreal: *Nearly levitating in excitement* “No fucking way!!! Wait can I be the godfather??? I call dibs on being the godfather!!”

Everyone else: *Jaws dropped, eyes wide, and staring at Kayn. Yone’s second cold brew of the day is now splattered on the floor.* (😂)

Kayn: *frowns* “What?? Turns out the idea of being a dad actually sounds pretty cool...”

*Raucous cheering commences and Kayn becomes the bottom of a dog pile of happy band mates/friends*

And trust, he’s keeping all of Heartsteel updated on how you’re doing. They are now very used to Kayn rambling on and on about your last appointment, how the nursery is going, how big the baby is this week, etc…

You might not expect it, but he’s super involved in your appointments, asking your OBGYN all sorts of questions. He’s genuinely curious and he wants to make sure he learns and understands as much as possible.

He will take off as much time as necessary to take you to appointments and Lamaze classes. Thankfully the rest of Heartsteel understands and they are cool with it.

And when Kayn sees the tiny blob at your first ultrasound, you notice him discreetly clear his throat as he hugs you tightly.

You quickly realize this kid has their father already wrapped around their little finger…and their little finger isn’t even developed yet!

Surprisingly excellent at helping you through bouts of morning sickness. He’s happy to hold back your hair if need be, and he’ll always help you straighten/freshen up once you’re through a spell.

Wasn’t prepared for the hormonal mood swings at first, tbh. The first time you burst into tears over a cute little kitten video, Kayn was genuinely a little alarmed. But he quickly realized what was going on.

Your crazy cravings don’t phase him. He’s always down to run out and grab you whatever food you want.

And not just food either. He’s ready to run out and grab any kind of supplies for you (though he very jokingly complains about it. But he makes it very clear he’s just kidding and he doesn’t actually mind).

And despite all the physical changes to your body, Kayn makes it clear he still finds you attractive. He makes that VERY clear. 😉

Being with you already brought his soft side out. That just increases exponentially while you’re pregnant. Kayn absolutely loves to play the guitar for you and the baby. He’ll play lullabies while you two are unwinding from the day. (If you sing, sing along with him because oh my god it makes him so happy when you do. He’d love to pass on a love of music to this baby early.)

And when he’s not playing guitar, he’s reading through the absolute mountain of parenting books he bought/borrowed from the library.

He’s trying to be as prepared as humanly possible. But there’s also an underlying anxiety to his obsessive reading. The last thing he wants is to let you or the baby down. Be sure to reassure him you believe he’ll be a good dad.

(In the Heartsteel universe we’re not exactly told what Zed is to Heartsteel!Kayn, but considering his role and the relationship between the two in base Runeterra lore, I’m imagining Zed as Kayn’s adoptive father.)

He’s calling Zed often and asking him for advice. And Zed is ready to assist you if Kayn is busy with Heartsteel or out of town for something. Just text him.

Kayn’s super eager to find out the sex of the baby. One of the first questions he asked the OBGYN was “How long until we know whether it’s a boy or girl?”

He doesn’t have a preference one way or the other, he just wants to know. The baby will be so loved regardless.

So once the two of you are at the 20-week ultrasound appointment, he’s so excited to finally get an answer.

And when the OBGYN reveals the baby is a girl? Holy shit Kayn’s so thrilled. He’s so happy he starts crying and laughing as he hugs you. (Tough bad boy becoming the biggest girl dad oh my GODDDDDDD 😭.)

And now that he knows the sex of the baby, this man is going to go OFF when it comes to buying things for her.

He found a black onesie with a pink skull and crossbones (with a bow) that says “Punk Rock Girl.” He bought four.

And once it’s time for the baby to come? Kayn is incredible. There’s a small wave of panic at the beginning because “holy fuck oh my god it’s actually fucking happening.” But he quickly realizes that panicking won’t help shit in this scenario. So he takes you to the pre-packed car (that he did himself and triple checked), takes a deep breath, and gets you to the hospital.

Kayn is your biggest advocate in the hospital. He’s making sure you are being listened to when it comes to how you’re feeling and what you want.

He’s encouraging you the whole way. Leading you through your Lamaze techniques, telling you to squeeze his hand as hard as you need to, and encouraging you to swear as much as you need to.

And even when you start cursing him out from pain for being “a god damn sexy and charismatic jackass and doing this to me, putting me in this position,” he keeps his cool, instead apologizing to you and telling you he’s right here and that he loves you.

Once it’s time for you to push, Kayn is right next to you, wiping your forehead, making sure you’re taking deep breaths, and counting you into pushes.

“Look at me, (Y/N). Eyes on me.” Kayn’s voice is gentle but urgent as he gently puts his finger on your chin and turns your head towards him. “That’s it, beautiful. Holy shit, you’re doing so well. I love you so much and I’m so fucking proud of you. Like doc said, one more big push and she’ll be out. Deep breath. I’ll count down from three and when I say “push” you give it all you got, okay? Ready? Alright angel, let’s meet our little girl. Breathe in....and 3…..2…..1…..push!”

And you do it. You give one final push and out she comes, squalling loudly, covered in vernix (newborn goop).

And Kayn finally lets all his emotions go, hugging you tightly and nuzzling your neck as he starts to tear up.

His voice is muffled against your neck. “I’m so fucking proud of you, (Y/N). She’s here….our daughter is here.” He lets out a happy laugh and kisses your forehead, gently wiping away your tears. “You alright, Angel? Can I get you anything?”

You hug him tightly, exhausted but happy, shaking your head. "Not besides babygirl. How is she?”

He nods. "They’re getting her cleaned off. (Y/N), she is perfect. Absolutely perfect. Just like you.”

The L&D nurse walks over. “Dad? Would you like to cut the umbilical cord?”

Kayn’s face lights up and he smiles at you. “Hell yeah…”

The sight of your partner carefully cutting your daughter’s umbilical cord is extremely sweet. He's being so careful, almost as if he's afraid he'll accidentally hurt her.

And as he looks down at her tiny form, he swears to himself right then and there, he's not letting anyone or anything harm her.

And once they hand her to you and you gently tease him as his happy tears fall, he just looks up at you with a grin, not even trying to play his tears off as "dust in my eyes" like he sometimes does.

You can’t help but laugh as he comments on her lung capacity and how she’s already ready to be a singer.

"She's what, not even ten minutes old and she already beats Ezreal's lung capacity and his higher range! He's gonna be so fucking jealous!"

(A/N: Ok so I know I stopped with Sett’s at the hospital right after labor, but I have an extra tidbit for Kayn’s and I NEED to write it down.)

You know how when athletes/musicians have babies/little kids, the other parent might bring them to cheer on the famous parent but they cover their ears with really strong noise-cancelling headphones to protect their ears/hearing?

Imagine doing that for Kayn at Heartsteel shows!!! Dressing up baby girl in a small version of his paranoia jacket with custom Kayn-designed stitching on the back (courtesy of Sett).

And imagine if Kayn got custom ear protection for her. And on each earphone is a print of his Rhaast mask, matching the custom necklace he bought you early on in your relationship. “So everyone knows who's with me.”

Ah! That would be so fucking cool. And when he sees the two of you the first time you bring her, oh my god, his heart is ready to burst. Especially when you blow him a kiss and wave one of her little hands at him. Kayn can’t help but grin like an absolutely besotted idiot for a second. Honestly you two being at his shows to cheer him on is his favorite thing. It reminds him why he does what he does. For his little family.

Who knew this bad boy could turn into such a family man? 🥹

Ahhhh thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed my latest contribution to Dad!Heartsteel headcanons!! I was so excited to get this request!! 2/6 done. Let me know which Heartsteel member should become a dad next! 💙

[sonicaspeed123]

Quiet sonuckles moments are like We are so different do you want to mourn the normal childhood we never got together. I think you're the coolest person ever what's it like being so free/stable. I could never do what you do. If either of us feel even slightly uncomfortable we have to do the playfighting thing to distract from it so none of this will ever be put into words between us but we Feel it. I'm sorry I can't be with you more, I wish I could stay/leave here. I understand, it's not your fault, it's the way you are. It's my fault, it's the way I am. Please don't change. I know I can't change myself, but please don't change. It's what I admire about you the most.

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

Hello! I’ll start off with I hope you’re having a good day! And then I’ll dive into my weird head cannon suggestion: How would the Main Six react to an mc that gets nose bleeds. Not really like they get hit, more like… they’re sitting there minding their business and there their nose is just ~fwooosh!~ blood and the LI = 😟

The Arcana HCs: M6 when MC gets a nosebleed

~ dear anon, this is exactly the kind of unusual, delightful, and very human request I started writing headcanons for XD thanks for the prompt, I hope you enjoy! - brainrot ~

Julian

Briefly freaks out for like 2.5 seconds

"Ah, right, I'm a doctor. Let me take a look at your lovely face, my dear, I'll take care of it. Oho! A nosebleed! I know just the cure for this, excuse me while I ah ... pull you a little closer ~"

Continues to keep you calm and distracted while he treats your nose

Nonstop flirting while he takes advantage of the proximity

Will kiss you afterwards as payment for his services

Said kiss will send him into a dramatic, poetic monologue about how he would kiss your blood-soaked lips and your ability to be at once wounded and beautiful and -

You get the idea. He'll continue for as long as you let him or until something else demanding his attention appears (like an irritated Malak)

Asra

Mildly panicked, does a very good job of hiding it

They can tell it's a nosebleed right away, but there's always that extra sensitivity in the back of their head about whether you're in pain or if it's a symptom of anything worse

He'll pull you somewhere secluded and grab his scarf or a handkerchief if he has one to press to your face

They'll hold your hand and tell you silly stories to keep you (and themself) distracted until it's over

He will tease you about it afterwards

"I've heard that nosebleeds can happen when you think about something too heated for too long. But we know that would never apply to you, MC. It certainly couldn't have been that you were thinking about me."

Faust will scold them for teasing you when you were bleeding minutes ago

Nadia

Shocked and startled at first

Immediately taking your face in both of her hands to get a closer look at what's going on

She'll grab handfuls of her sleeves or skirt and press it to your nose, completely focused on you until the nosebleed stops

Slightly shaken afterwards because it was just a nosebleed, but it was still blood, on your face, and she didn't really expect it to be there

This is a good time to joke around and relieve the tension

You might also accompany her to change her clothes. She doesn't regret caring for you at all but she certainly isn't comfortable spending the rest of the day wearing something bloodstained

She'll study up on nosebleeds later. If it happens often Chandra now carries a clean handkerchief on her leg at all times

Muriel

Oh no

This *will* trigger him. It's blood, it's on your face, and it happened out of nowhere, which means it might be his fault oh god

Of course it doesn't help that you're more concerned about his oncoming panic attack than you are about yourself, so now you're both trying to take care of each other while ignoring half the problem

Inanna doesn't know who to take care of first, she's whimpering and running between the two of you and it's not helping

You're going to have to pull and turn away where he can't see the blood and hold his hand instead while you wait for the mess to stop

You'll both be fine, it was just a nosebleed and Muriel's getting better at grounding himself, but you'll need a nap and cuddle session afterwards

Portia

Genuinely unconcerned

It's a nosebleed. Nosebleeds happen all the time

Besides, you're MC! You're the coolest, strongest person she's ever known, there's no reason to be worried unless you give her a reason to be worried

She'll hand you her handkerchief and laughingly ask if you're okay

"Are you good there, MC? Is the weather getting to you or am I just too hot to handle?"

She is oddly quiet on the way home

It's not about you, though, she's just apprehensive about how much work it's going to take to get the bloodstain out

Pepi has an odd intuition for when one is about to happen and will start batting at your nose in advance when she feels one coming

Lucio

Hey, you two have been walking for a while, it might be time for a break soon and WHOAH WHOAH WHOAH WHY ARE YOU BLEEDING

Oh it's a nosebleed? Oh, okay.

He'll suggest you go ahead and take that break. He'll find some shade and a comfy place to sit and lead you over there

Very excited to see you heal yourself with some badass magic, disappointed but understanding when you don't and choose to wait it out instead

Seeing the blood inspires him to tell you about all the injuries he's accumulated from his years on the battlefield

There's no chance of you getting bored with his loud and dramatic reenactments happening in the middle of the road

Mercedes and Melchior will take turns sitting at your side and barking at his antics