#cooked perfection

[critical-skeptic]

Rare (Part I): The Cult of Undercooked Meat

Buckle up, because this is going to be a long one. This is part one of a two-part dive into the absurdities surrounding meat culture, from the fetishization of undercooked slabs to the mind-boggling resistance to lab-grown alternatives. First, let’s address the so-called "connoisseurs" who treat rare meat as some untouchable ideal of culinary perfection. Spoiler: it’s not.

Let’s talk about rare meat. Not the concept, not the menu option, but the culinary travesty masquerading as a flex among certain demographics. The smugness, the pretense, the “I like it mooing because I’m just that refined” attitude is as insufferable as it is uninformed. Let’s break this down, shall we?

The Industry: Assembly-Line Meat Gum

Let’s start with the dirty little secret the restaurant industry doesn’t want you to think about. The fetishization of rare meat has nothing to do with quality or culinary excellence. It’s a time-saver. That’s it. When you barely cook a piece of meat, it’s less work for the line cook, less time on the grill, and faster table turnover. Who cares if the plate that gets sent out looks like it could still file a workers’ comp claim? Fewer man-hours, higher profit margins, and voila, undercooked meat becomes the golden child of profit-first kitchens.

But here’s the kicker: they don’t even try to hide it. Every menu with asterisked warnings about "consuming raw or undercooked meats may increase your risk of foodborne illness" is them waving the flag, practically screaming, “This might make you sick, but hey, we cooked it for all of 90 seconds, enjoy!” And the saddest part? The target audience laps it up like sycophantic culinary masochists.

Laziness: Both Consumer and Cook

The excuse often floated is this: “Properly cooked meat gets tough, overcooked, and dry!” First of all, no, it doesn’t. That’s what happens when you suck at cooking. If your steak looks like a charcoal briquette on the outside, but you still managed to reduce it to shoe leather inside, you’ve failed twice. Congratulations, you’ve achieved culinary incompetence.

The reality is that properly cooked meat—whether medium, well-done, or even charred—is an art. It requires skill, patience, and, yes, respect for the meat itself. But these so-called connoisseurs? They settle for “rare” because they either don’t know how to cook meat properly or they’re too lazy to figure it out. Rare meat is tender not because it’s cooked with expertise, but because it’s practically raw. Easy to chew? Sure. But tender? No, it’s just undercooked sinew masquerading as refinement.

The Demographic: Pretentious Neanderthals

We all know the demographic I’m talking about. You see them in steak houses, wine glass in hand, making a spectacle of sending back a medium-rare steak because it’s “overcooked.” These are the same people who treat rare meat like it’s a badge of honor, equating their preference with culinary sophistication when in reality, it’s just low-effort primitivism.

Here’s a truth bomb: chewing on half-cooked meat isn’t refined—it’s just lazy. It’s easy to chew through rare meat because it’s practically meat gum. That’s not a testament to quality; it’s an admission that you don’t want to do the work of appreciating a properly cooked steak. You’re not a refined carnivore; you’re a toddler with a credit card.

The Myth of “Tender”

Rare meat fans love to conflate "tender" with "raw." Let me set the record straight. Tenderness comes from a combination of the right cut, the right cooking method, and the right timing. A properly cooked steak—grilled, charred, or roasted—should melt in your mouth. It should offer just enough resistance to remind you that you’re eating meat, not pudding.

But the rare-meat crowd? They’re too busy fetishizing "tenderness" to realize they’ve been duped. They think rare equals quality because their gums don’t have to work as hard. It’s not tender because it’s expertly cooked; it’s tender because it’s unfinished. There’s a difference, and if you can’t tell, you’re part of the problem.

The Flavor Fallacy

And then there’s the flavor argument: “Rare meat is juicier and more flavorful.” Is it, though? Or are you just tasting blood and pretending it’s nuanced? A well-cooked steak—seasoned, seared, and rested properly—explodes with flavor. You taste the crust, the seasoning, the caramelization of natural sugars. With rare meat, you’re just tasting raw muscle fiber and thinking you’ve unlocked some culinary secret. Spoiler alert: you haven’t.

The Solution: Skill, Not Excuses

If you can’t cook a steak thoroughly without making it tough, you don’t know how to cook. Full stop. If you’re settling for undercooked meat because it’s easy, you don’t understand meat. Cooking is about transforming raw ingredients into something greater than the sum of their parts. Rare meat is not a transformation; it’s a cop-out.

So the next time someone looks down their nose at you for ordering your steak anything above “blue,” remind them that cooking is a skill. Tenderness is an art. And eating raw meat because you don’t know better? That’s just pathetic.

Rare: Not Special, Just Lazy

Rare meat isn’t a badge of honor. It’s a culinary shortcut dressed up as sophistication. It’s the lowest-effort way to chew through a steak without considering flavor, texture, or skill. And the people who champion it? They’re not refined. They’re not gourmands. They’re just lazy, uninformed, and too proud to admit it.

So here’s my final message to the rare meat apologists of the world: learn how to cook, learn how to eat, and stop pretending your laziness is some elevated palate. Rare meat isn’t rare—it’s just raw, and there’s nothing impressive about that.

This continues in part two: Rare: The Lab-Grown Revolution. Because as much as the rare-meat apologists frustrate me, they’re just one symptom of a larger disease: the stubborn refusal to embrace lab-grown meat as the future of ethical and sustainable eating. Let’s dissect that nonsense next.

[lilybug-02]

This is Pixel, my Porygon2. She gets really excited when touching carpet - like hilariously so. I always figured it was because real life textures are kinda new and exciting for a digital creature. @realpokemon

[amygdalae]

I just know the "sharks are perfectly smooth" routine could send him into an indignant rage. Also:

[superbat-love]

Batman Appreciation Post #13

Batman Cooks

Batman Master Collection

[rhinocio]

want you to want me

[ugh-my-back]

Raphael's beautiful lashes and profile ✨👑🙏🏼

and ofc his brown baby cow eyes, putting under a cut for consistency

[teartra]

If my strong, pretty, young wife is a skilled samurai, I would hype her up so badly and cherish her with all my life.

Rip Mizu’s husband but I’m different

[cherryzombiezz-art]

you guys like this right

[inmymagnetoera]

when I am in a competition for "the best artist in the Cherik fandom" but my opponent is @stinkrat-aleks

[indra-sexygirl]

Because Rachel…

[bearsintreesofficial]

ooOOooOOOOoo you wanna use bears in trees songs in your edits so bad!! ooOOoOOOo you know the Perfect song for that moment!!! ooOOooOOooo you can picture it in your head right now!!!!!

[noodles-and-tea]

I think I was supposed to be a hobbit

[hisui555]

Cooking commentary

Or, as my grandma would say : "That's a dish traditionally enjoyable by two people : one to distract the cook, the other to throw it out the nearest window."

Bonus :

(Had the idea to have Hero try to comfort him with kind words, only to accidentally finish him - "Don't worry I mess up vivariums too sometimes and then I can't house the beetles I catch" - with Assok laughing their fabric ass off but... meh, long enough already.)

[azuree1733]

I don’t think I’ve posted these doodles here

[slymanner]

Friday Night Funkin - WeekEnd 1

[therealcallmekd]

Do Robots Dream of Eternal Sleep? . . . . . .

Transcript:

YOU WERE BEAUTIFUL,

OUTSTRETCHED LIKE ANTENNAS TO HEAVEN.

YOU WERE BEYOND YOUR CREATORS.

YOU REACHED OUT FOR GOD,

AND YOU FELL.

NONE WERE LEFT TO SPEAK YOUR EULOGY.

NO FINAL WORDS, NO CONCLUDING STATEMENT.

NO POINT.

PERFECT CLOSURE.

THIS IS THE ONLY WAY IT SHOULD HAVE ENDED.

From the second half of the hidden passage in 7-4: …LIKE ANTENNAS TO HEAVEN from ULTRAKILL.