#the songs about it all falling apart
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ooOOooOOOOoo you wanna use bears in trees songs in your edits so bad!! ooOOoOOOo you know the Perfect song for that moment!!! ooOOooOOooo you can picture it in your head right now!!!!!
#PLEASE i think our new album is perfect for it#you have the songs about longing#the songs about dancing#the songs about it all falling apart#let yourself cook!!!!
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THIRTY-ONE DAYS OF GHOST ⛧ DAY ONE
first song you heard — Mary On A Cross
September 1969; Papa Nihil and the beginning of the Ghost Project take to the stage at the Whiskey a Go Go club in Los Angeles, under the watchful eye of Sister Imperator. Fifty-three years later, in Tampa, Florida, Papa Emeritus the Fourth performs Mary On A Cross, unaware that he is singing the story of his parents—and that of himself.
#note: i'm aware this song is about so much more than the fictional ghost story. just really enjoying that aspect of it rn#very nearly didn't do this series because some people are a bit silly about fans who heard moac as the first song. i'm owning it sdkjcksh#it wasn't the song that made me a fan as i will show in the next post but moac slaps so hard and#if you only like moac and nothing else you're still a ghestie to me <3#not my fault i was on instagram in autumn of 2022#i was going through some stuff then and listening to clips of this pretty song on random videos was something i enjoyed#didn't know the name of it or who sung it but kept hearing it at 4am when i couldn't sleep and everything was falling apart around me#when all i could do was try to escape it until the morning#i feel a bit stupid saying this but when i listen to it now and remember hearing it back then#it's like ghost was there for me even when i didn't know it#waiting for me to find them and everything their music would teach me#until the time was right#ghost31#papa emeritus iv#the band ghost#papa nihil#sister imperator#mary on a cross#user copia edits#user copia all tag#wait for the next tags i'm also tagging:#rite here rite now spoilers#i'm emotional about their messed up little family finding each other right at the very end. they never let each other go#flashing gif#<- ig
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Politics vent, though not about specific politicians:
It is wild to have conversations about White Poverty in the US and the desperate straits in which conservative white bigots allegedly live with left-wing white people who have never ever been poor. It seems like they just can't process that creative/literary people like J and I could conceivably have grown up in actual for real poverty and ... idk, it feels very patronizing (and frustrating) at times.
#a left-wing friend of ours from a rich family was opining about the desperation of poor white bigots in... over simplified ways#and j and i were trying to explain it from the inside and she was just 'i know you were poor but i mean SUPER poor people like#ones living in falling apart double-wides with no way to fix them'#me: *blink*#j: ...elizabeth lived in a falling apart SINGLE-wide. i spent my childhood cleaning animal shit and making hay. i've been homeless.#me: and the single-wide was a step up in the world for us!#the idea of a double-wide as True Poverty is like the conversational equivalent of that awful appleby's song. like. wtf.#but you can just see this not sinking in at all with most leftists we know even though we are ourselves left-wing (or bc of it!)#i do think it's mostly bc we're artsy creative people and have generic pnw accents - pretty much everyone seems to assume#no one in their circles has any direct personal experience of poverty when they're opining about The Poor#when we're like 'it's not the poverty that creates bigotry it's the white supremacy. we lived in rural white poverty and it's very obvious'#it's like watching a website fail to load over and over#meanwhile one of my earliest memories is me tugging at my mother's clothes and anxiously asking 'are you sure we need that?'#she thinks i was 3 or 4 at the time#partly the autism but mostly the overwhelming consciousness of stretching everything as far as it could conceivably go#anghraine rants#us american blogging#cw classism#or something!!#cw politics#rl: bff
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'shallow hearts for shallow minds that ache to be alive' the chokehold you have on me
#literally keep finding new relevance for this one line#like. in my life. in christianity; surprisingly. in the way it kinda resolves the bridge of starting line on luke's part#we fall apart and redefine what keeps you up at night->also that#basically this is just an incredible bridge all around. a true pivotal point#like. just existing in a world of people who prefer to stay in a fraction of the depth you (read: I) naturally do and trying to be myself#all through that. not letting having to conform rob me of my own existence and experiences and the fact that not everyone sees everything#it doesn't make it any less real#why are we not talking about this song more in our predictions for lh2?#take my hand#5sos5#luke hemmings#5sos#5 seconds of summer
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okay well first of all ill never soften my grip dont want cash dont want card want it fast want it hard dont need money dont need fame i just want to make a change
i just wanna change
i just wanna change
i just wanna change
i just wanna change
i just wanna change
i know exactly what i want
and who i want to be
#I KNOW EXACTLY WHY I WALK AND TALK LIKE A MACHINE!!!!!!#going insane over this song being my own self fulfilling prophecy.#oh no!#marina and the diamonds#if i fail ill fall apart!! maybe it is all a test cause i feel like im the worst so i always act like im the best!!!!#tv taught me how to feel NOW REAL LIFE HAS NO APPEAL!!!!!!!#sorry dw about it
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Listening to ‘Like Real People Do’ and thinking about reality. The desperation to exist, and to know that you exist, and to be something apart from the gaping nothingness. To be alive. To be alive, and not alone.
We can measure our existence in others’ perceptions of us – they can see us, touch us, speak to us. We must be real then. We must be.
I think about the speaker in the song, a corpse buried beneath the ground, abandoned long ago. I think about measureless time in the cold and the dark, to finally feel the dirt shifting around you, warm hands singing life to your limbs, lifting you. To lie across from this person in the darkness, again, and see something so achingly familiar about them. To gaze into the limitless unknown behind their eyes and understand that once you know something about them, it can’t ever be unknown. Some things you learn about people, and they only cause grief.
This relationship as a tether. This relationship as warm hands, pulling you from the frozen earth. And if those hands falter, you are left, once again, a buried corpse.
Better not to ask. Better not to know.
Just kiss, like you’re supposed to.
Just kiss, because if you can be this for another person then something within you must still be alive.
Just kiss, like real people do.
#I have so much work to do but here I am listening to hozier#actually listening to this song on loop for the last hour#I’m in an odd mental state right now that might be too many plays of that song in a row#whatever. worth it.#I don’t know. the inherent terror of being known (though in this case it’s more knowing another person)#you could bring amatonormativity into play here too honestly#but that’s a whole other post#just. like real people do. what does that even mean?!#the fear that a relationship will fall apart / fear of being abandoned (again if I’m interpreting the lyrics right)#SOMEONE was digging long ago. or maybe it was the same person#the person who abandoned you long ago is back - but for how long? how can you ever trust again?#or maybe it’s just that a person hurt you and how could you trust a person again?#or maybe the fear that you really are dead. you really are nothing. you want to be real but you just - can’t quite grasp it.#I personally lean towards the last one (as can be seen from this post)#this sounds like projection I swear this is not all projection#long story short this SONG is making me FEEL THINGS in the MIDDLE of the NIGHT and I am being so NORMAL about it#does this need trigger warnings of any kind? I honestly don’t know what I’d even tag it just feels… heavy#hozier#hozier analysis#hozier lyrics#like real people do#madbard rambles
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i think the thing that makes me dislike higher higher is because it just doesnt feel as... rewarding? for rosie to perform with camilla
to the future is very obviously about rosie and camillas relationship. so after the whole story of camilla distancing herself from rosie because shes too famous for her, and then after weeks they meet up again at the concert (that rosie thought camilla refused to go to) where shes the only one to respond to the call and response, and proceed to sing with eachother, it just really works with the story. how they sing about their relationship just makes the scene so much better.
but with higher higher theyre just.. singing? its just like omg! camillas here! I flip my skirt and turn the page! I'm entering a new stage! like it just doesnt feel as impactful??
#also i just dont fw higher higher as a song#it sounds like advert music#but i hope u understand what i mean. like how they sing about their relationship together.. with the hearts behind them..#it just works so well#like i dont CARE that youll keep on running. miss girly mayfield#i need to hear how your losing sight of your dreams. and everythings falling apart.#i dont know what im saying#but i hope you get what i mean. theres something to be said about how to the future does not sound like a rock song at all#but thats a different conversation#style boutique#style savvy#styling star
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strangely ironic that one of my moms favourite songs is about cheating when she also still says part of the divorce was bc my dad was cheating, something that he denies to this day and that she brings up at every opportunity unprompted and will probably still make a talking point on her deathbed
#like idk what really happened i was 10 and idgaf at this point but its just. she says the song is so beautiful and romantic like okay! 👍🏻#remember when you told 11 year old me you wish he was dead and that hes the reason my life is falling apart and asked me to ask my school#friends if they saw the mom of this girl two grades below me with my dad before bc they may or may not have had a thing during the last yea#r of your marriage. remember when you sat down with me for hours every day crying about what an evil and fucked up person he is for doing#this to you. explain to me why the story in the song of a man dating a married woman seems romantic and beautiful to you answer quick#soph txts#txt#like really im over it all dont worry but its so djgkndkf its really not that deep im just giving her a very heavy side eye#the song is cordula grün btw like ill admit it starts pretty cute but i dont get why the cheating part had to be in there like.#added nothing. just makes the song unappealing now imo
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Besties… I fear another devastating song has hit the Makoto playlists
#song stuff#fireworks angst night#<- sick and twisted lil fic thoughts spinning around in my head after this one#like. if the Australia trip didn’t happen when it did. or if makoto got overwhelmed and tried to fix things Way Too Early#(and the ‘meddlesome’ comment struck a cord that made all of his conviction fall apart at the seams)#… I might come back to this. ask me about it. make me ramble#fic ideas#Spotify
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sometimes a girl thinks about maxwells silver hammer and
#thats all#I do love the lore around it tho#theres a quote that would take me a min to find but I swear Paul said something to the effect of 'its about your life falling apart'#<<< not that exactly just something like that#and then the way they all exaggerated how long it took to make and it was 3 days#this song#EDIT: and I forgot about pataphysical science basically being primal (not really but its just strange)
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I love thinking of Jack's relationship with Fredbear as catholic devotion esp when his relationship with him is Bad. Something about having met god and being an atheist because you hate him, you know? Also so I have more songs to think of Jack to, yeah.
#luly talks#dsaf#jack kennedy#dsaf jack#remembered to share this bc i was listening to Reverend Glasseye earlier and it reminded.me of this also some songs are soooo jack#bc of the strong themes of violence and loss of faith and family and illness#every time mr glasseye starts talking about the body falling apart you can see a thought bubble w hearts floating around it w jack inside#anyway uh#like yeah Fredbear is outright A God. that's been well stablished#i say catholic bc that's the religion I'm most acquainted with but also the one w the most haters#like the whole part of 3 about god having abandoned them all and one fic i read once about Just jack being abandoned#like one of my fave picks for my jack kennedy playlist is there isnt any god by rusty cages thinking of a legacy jack#legacy or Neutral to be honest#like just that sort of narrative where it's a complicated relationship of adoration but deep rooted hate#like y'all played the fucking games.fuck am.i trying to explain to y'all? y'all know what i fucking mean#i do think jack in life would've been catholic but that's just a little.headcanon for y'all 👍
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i come crawling out of my little hole, scroll for ten minutes, then hide away again for months until the cycle repeats itself.
#i do not have WORDS for all of the shit on my mind rn#like oh my god i finally finished watching season 2 of arcane#which was So Conflicting bcos i had no LoL lore knowledge when i watched season one#and then i did a lot of research and wiki deep dives and a lot of fanfic reading and comparing game canon to show canon and general fanon#etc etc etc#and season 2 felt so rushed and a little jank and paced weird but i was so grateful to have my boys back#even if i do not like the whole approach that was made#even if i do not feel like everything and everyone was explored properly#like season 1 was a bit hectic but it balanced itself out but then season 2 was so fucking messy as a whole#and i love it#but i hate it at the same time#i don't know#i have so many thoughts about viktor and jinx and mel and warwick and it just felt like too much happened with no fucking pay off#furthermore: since nothing felt properly explored i didn't feel invested in anyone really#like heimerdinger was just there and then he wasn't#and ekko was there and then he wasn't and then he got a whole episode and then BYE#and omg mel i love mel so much but also everything explored with her felt so surface level#and do not get me started on vi (surprise /s: i do not like her very much at all this season)#the whole season felt like it had very shaky legs to stand on and it felt like it was falling apart bcos even the characters i already liked#like i was struggling to sink my teeth into them and feel invested.#i love jayce and viktor so much but they were both sorta just There#or the stuff with warwick like there was no payoff there really#why is the highlight of the season to me the tøp song yanno#everything else blurred together in a I Guess That Happened; Anyway– nothingburger
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anyway on a different note. uuhhmmmm. say we take what had been torn apart say we mend any patchwork discord turning eyes to the trypo-puppeteer waiting for the world to burn
SO
ONE 1️⃣ TWO 2️⃣ THREE 3️⃣ AND WE'LL TIE ➰ THE TOURNIQUET 🦴
LARVAE 🐛 EATING 🍴 AWAY AT EVERYTHING
WORD GOES ROUND 🗣 I'M THE TRYPO-PUPPETEER
LAUGH ALONG 🤣 I'M SPREADING HOLES 🕳🕳🕳
🔊🔥🔥🔥🔥🔊🔊
NOW I KNOW 😢 THIS HAS ALWAYS BEEN MY FAULT 😭
🔊🔥🔊🔊🔥🔥🔊🔥
AND I CAN'T ❌ INHALE 😤 ANYMORE
#etc etc etc.#other parts include DAY BY DAY AND DAY AFTER DAY I'M CAUSING TROUBLE ANYWAY PULL THE FIRE ALARM I NEVER MEANT ANY HARM#NEVER MEANT ANY HARM#WEEELLL SAY MY LIMBS ARE TORN APART AND ALL THE STUFFING FALLS OUT LET THE TOY WIND DOWN IT SHOULD HAVE NEVER BEEN WOUNDDDD I NEVER MEANT#ANY HARM#and also WAITING FOR THE WORLD TO BUUUURN WAITING FOR THE HOLES TO CLOSE NOW WAITING FOR THE WORLD TO BUUURN WAITING FOR THE HOLES TO CLOSE#NOW#I CAN'T SEEEEEEEEE THE HOLES IN MY MEMORIEEEESSSS#THE FIRE AND IIII ALONE AGAIIIN THE GUILT AND IIII ALONE AGAIIIIIN#okay that's it i'm good now. got it out of my system#you'll never guess who this was about#amygdala's ragdoll is certainly a song
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Time for me to be completely changed as a person! *just watched falsettos*
#the klock keeps ticking#oh dude we’re so back oh its so back#how am i supposed to live my life after this how am i supposed to go on#its funny cuz ive seen this damn show actually a thousand times i know it forward and backwards#and i dont really cry ever in general and ive become so familiar with falsettos that i dont cry anymore#but it still has the ability to destroy some deep part of me every single time in a new way#I will stay firm in my belief that its the greatest piece of media ever made#if i ever get to see falsettos on broadway (pipe dream ik) like#thatd be it for me man like how the hell are you supposed to leave and drive home after that akdnsk#i cant remember the last time i watched either i think it mightve been like. when i first moved into my old apartment 😳#and ive gone through quite a bit of shit since then and im smarter. i think#so yeah it hit me very hard this time i always stick to something different#im very much wrecked about this fucking family lets just say that#lets just say ‘shes cooked for some 200 guests i know we’re not that many actually we’re 7’#really hit different this time KID DO YOU KNOW HOW PROUD I AM#DONT KNOW WHY BUT HE LOOKS LIKE MARVIN#so so good so lovingly written and performed so real and beautiful and tragic FUCKKKK#yeah basically prepare for me to write like 50 essays for a few days about all the characters every song every lyric every sound yeah#falsettos is probably deadass the reason im like this it shaped me so much#just like. the ending of tragedy that was so unexpected and unfair#and it looks at the fucking homophobic shits who preached all about this being just desserts for the perverted behavior#and it says ‘this man could’ve kept that unhappy heterosexual life and avoided all of this but he chose the one that killed him because#it made him feel like himself it made him happy despite how brief it was and hed choose this route in every universe’#just a piece of art that is so true to queerness i dont think anything else has instilled a sense of pride in me like falsettos has#the tight knit family marvin tries so hard to keep together is falling apart worse and worse with each attempt#but once marvin is happy and loves himself and is loved by others the family ends up growing and sticking together naturally#aaughhh yeah ahahaha yeah man everyone please love your friends so genuinely love yourself and keep going 🥰
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Y'all ever stopped listening to your favorite bands for about 2 years for reasons you don't even know yourself. Maybe it's because you're busy. Maybe it's because you thought you've acquired new tastes. You really don't know. But then suddenly you listened to one song of theirs again and now you're sobbing over how good the songwriting was? And now that you're not a dumb High Schooler without much experience you understand the lyrics even more?
Anyways that's me with Fall Out Boy right now lmao. It's high time I listen to their new album later.
#incoherent rambles#ansy-stalks#confession: would yall kill me if my fave album of theirs is MANIA hAHAHAHHA—#LISTEN#NONE OF THE SONGS WERE A MISS— lord i remember how people criticized that album in its release and how fans are worried about the dubstep-y#vibe (me too cuz “yo idk much about music but how will andy & joe do this live im sorry im dumb 😭”)#then again none of their songs in their wholeass discography is a fricking miss anyways /absolutely biased#even their covers are fun to listen like I Wanna Be Like You??? That sht is on repeat lmao. I Wann Dance With Somebody?? good sht dawg#I think my second fave album is either Folie & Save Rock and Roll? Just cuz Folie is my vibe and SRAR were all dhxjkwjfiaokeixiw <33#Every fan loves Infinity On High for sure— Golden & ILALWTWIATTGYO (me & you) makes me sob every time#broooo the raw ass line of “I saw God crying at the reflection of my enemies and all the lovers with no time for me”#and “the best way to make it through with hearts & wrists intact is to realize two of the three ain't bad. aaaIIINT BAAAAAADDD—”#for folie a deux there's not a damm instance where I did not feel sadness over What A Catch Donnie. Dawg. The way Elton John sings his part#too bro 😭😭😭😭#AND HOLYYY SHT THE AFTER(LIFE) OF A PARTY PHCCKKK I FORGOT HOW THAT NEVER FAILS TO MAKE ME HOLD IT IN HSJDJKSOSID#i would skip that song cuz it makes me so sad sometimes 😭😭😭😭#OKAY YOU KNOW WHAT LET ME RETHINK MY ORDER OF FAVE ALBUMS HAHAHAHHAHA#“I'm a stitch away from making it AND A SCAR AWAY FROM FALLING APART. APART. BLOOD CELLS PIXELATE AND EEEYEESS DILATE- KISS AWAY THE TEARS#AND KILLS ON THE MOUTH OF AAAALLLL. MY FRIIIEEENDS—“ PHHHHCCKCKKKSIEOS 😭😭😭😭😭😭#JDJAI WAIT AND THE ENTIRETY OF SOPHOMORE SLUMP#OKAY I NEED TO STFU IN THESE TAGS HAHAHAHAHHA#okay to defend my MANIA adoration (do people still hate this album? hope not). ***Bishop's knife trick.***#“I'm sifting through the sand.Looking for pieces of broken hourglass.Trying to get it all back—put it back together—As if the time#had never passed. I know I should walk away but I just want to let you break my brain and I can't seem to get a grip. no. no matter how I#live with it. thESE ARE THE LAST—“#I'm sorry. the delivery is just too delicious.#MANIA is a fricking mixbag of weirdly mainstream inspirational songs- to suddenly; drugs- to actually being unhinged- to one of the saddest#“im tryina redeem myself” song(s) (heaven's gate- church- and bishop's)#okay i really need to shut up 😭#aight. i will stop.
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if we know that you're losing me was written over two years ago, and this album is the secret she's been keeping for two years....... i wonder if you're losing me was when the dam burst. i've seen so many people talking about how already, this album seems like the gloves are coming off in such a different way than ever before. i wonder if once she realized that he was losing her, she started to realize the harsh reality of other parts of the situation -- that protecting him was killing her.
#it's like. once you allow yourself down that path. you hace to wonder. is this just a rabbit hole? am i just hung up on this?#and i think she's def the type to need to just write it to get it out of her system#like with dbatc and she said that she was so panicked at the thought of a LTR falling apart that she had to write the song#to like. get it out of her system#and i wonder if she felt that way with YLM and then realized that wasn't just getting it off her chest --#there was a whole wealth of emotion there. and so she started writing more and more and that ended up becoming TTPD#all these little anxieties that she's always had about not being enough or being the anti-hero and so on#weren't just little one-off things. but actually. a whole case that she had to build to herself#to understand what was going on#which to me is already how YLM feels#like she's listing out everything: every morning i glared at you with storms in my eyes. i gave you all my best me's. all i did was bleed.#so i guess what i'm saying is do we think that YLM was the catalyst for all of these feelings to crystallize#ttpd#random thoughts with grace
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